#now I just get to sit here crying over you like a fucking fool wondering what’s the point of any of this

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

[leighsartworks216]

Nyctophobia

Sylus x gn!Reader

I still have to sleep with some sort of light on at night and I was like well what would Sylus think about this. And now here we are

Warnings: hurt/comfort, crying, kissing, nyctophobia (fear of the dark), embarrassment, fear, pet names, swearing, implied sexual content, established relationship

Word Count: 2,153

Main Masterlist

Love and Deepspace Masterlist

AO3

Tag List Form

You feel so fucking stupid. Not because you did something wrong or made a fool of yourself (yet), but because this dumb problem you had was so childish. Even a 10-year-old is braver than you, a literal fucking Hunter!

You pout at the nightlight on your laptop. Sylus’s black card sat on your coffee table, just waiting to be used. And yet, the thought of using a card with access to millions of dollars (perhaps billions), just to buy a nightlight, halted you in your tracks, He hadn’t even said much about anything else you’ve bought before, and what he did say usually encouraged you to buy more expensive, lavish things. Surely, he wouldn’t flinch at this at all.

But that stupid, unrelenting voice in your head made buying the light impossible.

Which sucked.

It really, really sucked.

‘Cuz every time you stay in the N109 Zone in Sylus’s manor-slash-base, your room is so dark. Being in the lawless area doesn’t help, either. All the violence and danger you’d seen walking in the streets at night painted visions of stalkers in the corner, murderers with knives under your bed, and worse, just waiting for you to close your eyes and sleep.

But you don’t want to impose on the nice atmosphere Sylus has cultivated in his home. So you sleep with the light off, clinging to your blankets and telling yourself over and over again that nobody else is in the room.

Your phone buzzing interrupts your pity party. You shut your laptop and place it on the table next to the card. It buzzes again as you pick it up.

What’s wrong, sweetie?

I’ve only seen you make that face when a plushie falls out of the claw

You look up at your window. Sure enough, Mephisto’s red eyes greet you.

Stop spying on me >:(

Fine

The mechanical crow disappears from sight. You can just barely hear his caws as he flies off back to the N109 Zone.

But my question still stands

It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it

Sweetie, if someone says not to worry about something, people are going to worry about it

Damn him for giving you a chance to tell the truth. And damn your brain for reminding you that if you tell him the truth, he’d probably laugh at you. What does he have to worry about when he sleeps anyway? He’s already a light sleeper, but he also sleeps during the day, when creeps skitter from shadow to shadow. He wouldn’t understand.

Like I said, it’s nothing

Nothing happens for a few moments. The little dots to signify he’s typing don’t even show up. You can’t help wondering what he’s doing. What he’s thinking.

Maybe he’s getting ready to start the night, getting into his car so Luke and Kieran can drive him around to his many business dealings. Or maybe he’s picking out a vinyl from his shelf, taking it from the paper casing with a delicacy only shared with you, and setting it up on his phonograph. Or maybe he’s mimicking you: sitting on the couch, staring at the phone, wondering what to say next.

The dots appear, finally.

Come to the N109 Zone, kitten

Let me cheer you up

If Mephisto was still lurking around, he’d have seen just how fast you packed your things and hopped onto your bike.

Yes, the N109 Zone is dark and scary and extremely dangerous at the best of times. Yes, you’d be forced to sleep in the dark once again. Yes, your mind would play tricks on you and you’d probably stay up all night anyway.

But Sylus is there. And you haven’t seen him for almost a week. Who could blame you for jumping at the opportunity to spend time with him now?

-

Sylus greets you at the door with an amused smirk. “You got here fast.”

You playfully glare at him, smacking his chest as you pass by. “There wasn’t any traffic,” you tease.

The manor is as dark as usual. If it’s not black, it’s dark red. If it’s not dark red, it’s the occasional white furniture or golden accent.

Sylus trails behind you as you beeline it straight to your room to drop off your stuff. He leans in the doorway as you toss your bag onto the plush bed. “You seem to be in a better mood now,” he hums.

“I always feel better when I get to see you.” You smile up at him. It’s a soft remark. Genuine. Not the usual joking, back-and-forth banter you’re usually all too happy to supply during your visits.

His expression melts into something just as tender. Just as honest. He casually pushes himself off the doorframe and crosses the few steps it takes to get to you. His hands cradle you like one of his precious antiques, tilting your face up while he cranes his neck until the world has shrunk to just this moment.

He grins. His eyes keep glancing down at your mouth. You grab onto his waist. Your fingers curl into his soft red sweater, desperate to keep him this close. His lips brush against yours, stealing the air from your lungs.

“Then let me make it worth your while.”

-

It’s still dark when you wake up. The navy blue behind the curtain carries no hint of light, reassuring your sleep-addled brain that there is still plenty of time before day.

You roll over, silk sheets caressing your bare form, fully intending to go right back to sleep. Cold air slips underneath the blanket. You shiver and pull it tighter around you. Without thinking, you reach out toward the other side of the bed. It’s too large for just one person. The bed is cold beneath your fingers, even as you reach out farther.

You blink open your eyes, blearily staring into the darkness, searching for some answer you can quite grasp yet.

What are you reaching for…?

You turn your face into your pillow, determined to ignore that strange feeling in your gut and enjoy the last hours of the night. The rich scent of bourbon and vanilla catch on the edge of your senses. It smells just like Sylus…

You open your eyes again. Where’s Sylus?

Your fingertips brush the edge of the bed as you reach out. A discordant chord of terror strikes in your heart as you quickly pull your hand back. Thoughts of something reaching out to grab you flood your mind. Your heart races, chasing off the last ounces of sleepiness from your body.

You pull the blanket even tighter around you, curling it under your feet and tucking it into your sides until you’re in a cocoon of safety. No matter how hard you strain your eyes, you can’t see anything. But in your mind, everything can see you.

You curl up into a pitiful ball.

You could get up, but you can’t. What if something grabs your ankles?

You could grab your phone, but you can’t. What if something is waiting in ambush and your phone is the bait?

You could do a thousand things to get out of this darkness. But you can’t, for a million reasons.

The door knob slowly turns. The only indication the door has opened at all is the sound of the lower edge brushing against the carpeted floor. No light comes in from the hall. It’s all pitch black. The door clicks shut.

You hold your breath.

Footsteps. Large, heavy footsteps. They don’t stomp. You’re not sure if it would be better if they did. They creep around the side of the bed.

You don’t move.

Weight shifts the mattress. Slowly. Deliberately.

Your heartbeat pounds in your ears. You strain to hear anything else.

Something slides over your blankets.

You squeeze your eyes shut so tight you see spots. You bite your lip to avoid making sound.

The something - a hand, you think - wraps around your waist.

You flinch.

Oh god, oh god, oh god. They’re gonna know you’re awake. They’re gonna cover your mouth or stab you or put a pillow over your face or-

“Kitten?”

Your body shudders as you finally let yourself breathe. You grab your pillow as you quickly sit up and swing it at the face of your lover.

“I thought you were gonna fucking kill me?!”

Sylus laughs, chucking the pillow back onto your side of the bed. You can’t see him in the dark, but your body can’t stop taking in every ounce of him that it can. His smell - the bourbon and vanilla tinged with a natural musk. His voice - that rich, lively sound of his laugh and the breaths he takes. His touch - his hand, trailing patterns over the blanket at your hip.

You crawl toward him, clinging to his chest like a koala. He’s still shirtless from your escapades. His hand slides to your back, pulling you in tighter to him. You can feel the rumble of his voice in his chest. You press your ear against him to hear more.

“Why would you think that?” he asks once he’s gathered himself.

You don’t answer. You squeeze him tighter.

“Sweetie?” The amusement is replaced with concern. His other arm wraps around you. The muscles tense with the slightest effort. He says your name.

Relief settles heavy in your bones. Tears prick at your eyes, while you remain utterly powerless to stop them. “It’s too dark,” you whimper. It’s all you can think to say.

His arms tighten around you as he rolls onto his back, pulling you on top of him like you weigh nothing. He begins playing with your hair. “Does it scare you?” he asks softly.

You nod. You pull one of your hands out from around him to wipe the tears off your face and his chest.

God, you feel so fucking pathetic.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

You don’t answer. His chest rises and falls with you on it, moving with his sigh. He pulls your hand away from your face and replaces it around him. You want to fight it. Complain about how gross it is to get all your tears on him. But he shushes you gently and you can’t find the strength to try.

“Do you want to go downstairs?”

You nod again.

The world shifts as he sits up with you. He pries you off of him so he can stand up, but he doesn’t go far. He grabs his sweater off the ground and helps you put it on. Then he goes through your dresser for some clean underwear. He helps you stand and slides them on. You don’t open your eyes. You don’t want to see the darkness. So you hold onto his shoulders. You put all your trust into him, and he refuses to betray it.

He lifts you into his arms like you’re a damn princess. Usually, he’d throw you over his shoulder, but not this time. This time he’s careful, treating you with the utmost care as he carries you down the stairs and to the living room. With a wave of his fingers, the lights turn on, black and red left in its wake.

“It’s not dark anymore,” he promises as he sits down. You keep your face safely tucked into his neck. He rests his cheek on your head. His fingers go back to your hair. His other hand rubs patterns against your bare thigh.

After a while, your terror finally dissipates completely. You can see the light shining through your closed eyelids. Feel its subtle warmth against your skin. When you find the strength to open your eyes, the warm, comfortable ambiance of Sylus’s home greets you once more.

You use the sleeve of his sweater to wipe at your face. “I’m sorry.” Your voice cracks. You cringe with embarrassment. “It’s stupid, I know.”

He hums noncommittally. “Is this what you were telling me not to worry about?” he asks instead.

You nod. “I was looking at… at nightlights,” you admit in a murmur.

“What kind?”

“Hm?” You pull back to look up at him. He lets you, meeting your gaze with a soft seriousness. “What d’you mean?”

He smirks slightly, eyebrow quirking upward. “I mean, what kind of nightlight would you like, sweetie? Fairy lights, a wall light, one of those animal-shaped ones that glows…”

You frown and look away. “You’re teasing me, aren’t you?”

“I’m asking,” he cups your cheek and guides your face to look at him, “so I can buy you one. Now, will you tell me, or do I have to buy every single nightlight on the market?”

You laugh despite yourself. “I have it pulled up on my laptop…”

He grins. “Good.” He pulls you into a chaste kiss. “Don’t hesitate to buy it next time. Or to tell me what’s wrong. If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s a sad kitten.”

---

Tag List:

@the-golden-jhope @huen1ngk41 @armycaratlover @sylusfluffymeow @cheesemachine44

[f1goat]

roommates ; lando norris + part six

In which you have to live with your brothers best friend who you really don't like, Lando Norris, and his many 'girlfriends' for a while, but there's always a thin line between love and hate.

masterlist - playlist

lando norris x fem!verstappen reader tw: smut & not proofread

You don’t know whether to laugh or to cry when you hear the girl talking to Lando. He’s barely responding to her, but still. It’s so clear to you. Lando doesn’t care about you. That silly crush of yours? You need to get rid of it. How faster, how better. When they walk inside the living room, it doesn’t take longer then a second for Lando to see you sitting on the couch. 

While Lando is busy staring at you and thinking about what to say, you can’t stop looking at the girl he bought home with him. Is it bad that she kinda reminds you of yourself? She’s wearing the same sort of dress you were wearing on your ‘date’ with your ex. Her hair is the same color and about as long as yours. It must be a coincidence. 

Lando feels so ashamed right now. The night he goes for the most pathetic way, is the night you see it happen. Fucking hell. He hasn’t drunk enough to handle with this. When he saw Emily earlier at the club, at least if he got her name right, he could only see the dress she’s wearing. Exactly like yours from earlier. Then he saw how she had some other things that reminded him of you. It felt like the only solution for tonight. 

“Uh,” Emily clearly feels the tension between Lando and you. “She’s not your girlfriend right?” She asks awkwardly. 

“No,” you quickly reply. 

Lando doesn’t even know what to say. He can only feel ashamed right now. Fuck. You keep looking at Emily and him. He knows that you see it as well, it’s not hard to miss that Emily looks like you. This is embarrassing. It feels even more embarrassing that she’s a cheap knockoff compared to you. He lets out an annoyed sigh. Fuck, he really fucked things up with this. 

Now that he thinks about it, he wonders why he even brought the girl home with him. How longer he looks at her, how less she reminds him of you. Tonight was about proving that you’re wrong, not about proving the other way around. Why did he even bring her with him? It’s desperate, really.

“I’ll leave you two alone,” you softly say while standing up from the couch. Is it that bad that you’re disappointed in this? You feel like some sort of fool. Why did you even wait up? Why did you want to know about this? You feel yourself getting more sad with the second. Slowly you walk away. When you walk past Lando, he’s quick to grab your shoulder. It makes you even more sad. 

“Don’t leave like this,” he softly says, “Let’s talk.”

You feel the anger running through your veins right now. You aren’t thinking about what you’re saying right now. “I don’t think your girlfriend is here to talk,” you sneer to him, “and neither am I. Not anymore at least.”

“Let me explain,” Lando pleas with a soft voice.

“You don’t have to explain anything to me,” you state, “We’re nothing. It’s not like we’re friends or anything. You lied to me before, I don’t trust you anymore. We’re even less then nothing now.”

“Don’t act like this,” Lando replies. You see the pain in his eyes, but for now you don’t care about that. He did this to himself. He’s the one who bought her home, not you. If it’s up to you he feels all kind of pain right now, he deserves it. 

“Don’t act like what?” You ask annoyed, “Can’t I tell you that we’re not friends, or anything else? Or can’t I tell you that I don’t care about you? You do you Lando. I really don’t give a fuck. So go have sex with your new girlfriend over here.”

“Shut up,” Lando groans. 

“Or what?” You reply angrily. 

“Don’t say things you don’t mean,” Lando continues. 

“I mean every word of what I just said,” you lie. Of course you don’t mean anything about it. You thought that Lando and you were finally becoming friendly with each other, you even hoped for more. Fuck this is really bad. It even pains you to say those words to him, but you don’t feel like you have another choice. 

“Stop lying,” Lando says with a louder voice this time. He almost seems angry this time. The frustration is obvious. 

“I don’t care Lando. Do whatever you want, go fuck with her or another girl. I really don’t care about it,” you tell him with the same frustration, “just make sure that you’re not moaning out my name again.” 

“Shut up,” Lando groans. The angry undertone in his voice is getting more clear now. You match it.

“Make me,” you reply angrily. 

You’re painfully aware about how close Lando and you are standing towards each other. He isn’t holding your shoulder anymore, but you feel every breath of him on your face. At this moment you want nothing more then for Lando to snap. It feels like you’re pretty close to make that happen. You wonder what will happen next. Will he scream at you? Or would he shut you up another way? Some way you prefer?

Lando takes a step closer towards you. His nose is almost pressed against yours. The space between to two of you gets only smaller. You wonder if you need to say something else, but then Lando continues to talk. 

“You want me to shut you up?” He asks you. His voice isn’t angry anymore, it doesn’t even seems frustrated anymore. It’s almost scarily calm for what’s happening. You notice how Lando doesn’t look away from you. The girl he bought home with him is still here, but it seems like Lando has forgotten about her. Not that you mind. Why hasn’t she left yet anyway?

“Yes,” you state boldly. 

Lando doesn’t think about the possible outcomes of his next movement. He stops thinking about everything he wants to do right now and for once just does something. Still annoyed and frustrated with the whole evening - and mostly with himself, he finally snaps. He grabs your waist, and pulls you almost into himself. Before you can react he lifts up your chin with a soft, but forceful movement. He gives you one last look in the eyes before closing his own eyes and slamming his lips against yours. 

You didn’t expect him to do this. Fuck, you really didn’t. But it’s insane how good it feels. Lando his lips are soft, even softer then you thought they would be. His kiss reflects the way he’s feeling, it’s messy but it does fit the moment. You can probably kiss him like this for the rest of the night.  And many nights more. If he would let you. Maybe it isn’t Lando who doesn’t support that idea, it’s the girl from earlier who distracts you from each other. 

“What the fuck!” She loudly screams. “Why did you even bring me here?” She continues to ask, “This is fucking insane.” 

“Just leave,” Lando sighs annoyed. He doesn’t move away from you in the mean time. You’re still trapped in his arms. Without saying a word, but with a small grin plastered on your face, you watch everything amused. It seems like she doesn’t want to leave like this. The girl is still fuming and making all kind of remarks at Lando. While he only tries to get her to leave. 

Eventually Lando needs to let go of you to walk her outside. You still hear her screaming in the hallway. It makes you giggle. Of course, it’s bad that Lando treated her like this - but for once, you’re glad about it. It would be way worse if he fucked her. You hear the front door close, after that there’s a peaceful silence. No more screams from the girl. No more arguments between Lando and you. 

When Lando returns to you, he’s busy thinking about what to do next. Should he continue with what he was doing? Or should he apologize? He has no idea what you think about all of this. What if he kissed you without you agreeing with it? When he sees you leaning on the wall and waiting for him with a small, but really satisfied grin plastered on your face, Lando is quick to forget about all his worries. He rushes himself back to you, only to press his lips on yours for the second time that night. 

“You drive me fucking crazy,” he grunts after pulling back.

“Says you,” you reply softly.

Lando doesn’t reply verbally this time. He softly pins you against the wall and presses his lips against yours for the third time tonight. Now that he knows how it feels to kiss with you, he never wants to stop with it. He can’t miss this feeling. 

You can safely state that you have never been kissed better then this. It’s not like you want to give yourself hope, but Lando kisses you like there’s no-one else he ever wants to kiss again. You can only hope that it actually is that way. Mainly because you’re sure that you never want to kiss anyone else again if it isn’t Lando. 

“Fuck Lan,” you softly whimper when he pulls back again. 

He looks at you. The way he stares at you makes you shiver. His eyes pierce through yours. “What babygirl?” Lando asks you. He’s afraid that you have come to your senses, that he should stop this. You probably don’t want this, he guesses. 

“Don’t stop,” you softly tell him with red cheeks. 

“Sorry, I’ll stop,” Lando mutters a bit disappointed. You show him a confused look, didn’t he hear you? You don’t even know why he’s thinking about stopping. The only good thing about him mishearing you, is that he seems disappointed to stop. That’s interesting. 

“I said don’t stop,” you tell him a bit louder this time. 

This time it’s Lando who shows you a confused look. He has no idea what’s happening to him. Before he can even ask if you’re sure, you already surprise him again. This time it’s you who pulls him closer towards yourself. Lando doesn’t even know what’s happening anymore. It seems like you do want this as well? He thought you lost yourself in the moment, but now he’s not so sure about that anymore. 

He can’t help himself anymore now. His tongue is inside your mouth and battling yours for dominance. Lando can’t hold himself back. If this is the only night he’ll experience this, he needs to experience as much of you as he can. When you let out a soft moan during making out with Lando, it only arouses him more. He feels his pants tighten around a particular spot. Softly he pins you against the wall again. He removes his lips from yours, only to connect them with your neck. 

It makes you let out a soft moan. How is Lando making you feel like this in only a matter of time? You must be losing your mind. Your focus is quick to disappear when Lando his hands start to explore your body as well. His hands are everywhere, at least that’s how it feels like. 

“Let me make it up to you,” he eventually tells you. 

“Make it up to me?” You ask confused. What’s he talking about. 

“For bringing her home,” Lando confesses, “I really shouldn’t have done that.”

Slowly you nod. “That’s a lot to make up for,” you softly say. 

Lando nods as well. “Thank god we have a lot of time,” he jokes. You show him a small grin. That’s enough confirmation for him right now. Within seconds he picks you up. You’re surprised about his strength. He’s actually walking you to his room like this. When you reach his bedroom, Lando softly drops you onto his bed. He joins you on the bed, hovering above you while pressing kisses on your cheeks, forehead, nose and every other spot he can find to press his lips against. 

It takes you a lot to withhold yourself from letting out loud moans whenever Lando does something. When Lando kisses you against your neck and softly sucks on a small bit of your skin, you can’t hold them back anymore. You let out a loud moan. 

“Lan,” you softly whimper.

“You better keep calling me that,” Lando softly tells you. You show him a small smile. He let himself down on the bed next to you. You’re quick to move yourself closer towards Lando. Within a couple seconds you have yourself pressed up against him again. Lando looks at you full lust. “Needy babygirl?” Lando asks you. 

You can only nod. You feel your cheeks redden up. It almost feels embarrassing, but you really can’t stop feeling like this right now. The things Lando is doing to you, while almost doing nothing to you, are actually insane. Lando moves himself again. This time he positions himself sitting right next to you. Softly he pulls you up as well. He toys with the hem of your sweater, looking at you with questioning eyes while doing so. You show him a small nod, hoping that he understands the hint. He does. Slowly Lando pulls off your sweater. 

When he sees that you’re wearing nothing underneath your sweater, he softly gasps. “Fuck babygirl,” he mutters while looking at your boobs. He notices the way your nipples have hardened, he wants nothing more then to put them into his mouth. For now he withholds himself from actually doing so. He does however move his attention towards your leggings. Suddenly he can’t think about anything else then seeing you naked. 

It’s you who is quick to discard the leggings you were wearing. Lando can’t believe his eyes when you start to pull of the leggings. When the leggings have joined your sweater on the floor, Lando can’t stop staring at you anymore. Softly he lets his hands wander over your body, stopping by your string. After this there’s no way back. Not that he can trust himself to stop now, but after seeing you completely naked he’s sure that he can’t stop anymore. 

You let out a soft moan when Lando traces your string with his fingers. “Take it off please,” you beg Lando. 

“Sure babygirl?” Lando asks you, “Because I don’t think I can stop myself anymore after seeing you naked.” He needs to know for sure that you want this as well. 

“Please,” you continue to beg, “Just take if off already.”

Lando doesn’t need to know anything else for now. He is quick to pull down your string. When he tosses it on the floor as well, he can’t tear his eyes of you. You’re beautiful. Words are leaving his mouth rather quickly, he can’t even think about what he’s saying anymore. 

“You look so beautiful,” he murmurs. You show him a small smile. “Imagined this for years,” he grunts, “You look even better then in my dreams.” Is Lando confessing that he dreamt about you? What’s going on? “Can I touch you?” Lando suddenly asks you, you’re quick to stammer out a yes. 

Lando is quick to come into action after hearing your yes. Suddenly he’s everywhere at once. You feel him exploring your naked body. His lips are pressing kisses on your neck, but he’s fast to move down lower. Eventually he reaches your boobs. He sends you one more asking look to know you’re sure about this, which you are quick to confirm to. After that Lando closes his lips around one of your nipples, while softly kneading your other tit. It causes you to let out a loud moan, something that Lando seems to like. 

Everything is getting to much for you rather quickly. It’s been a while since the last time you’ve had sex and with a thin walled room next to Lando, masturbating wasn’t one of your options lately. The way Lando discovers your body is making you lose your mind. You need to feel him as well. You start to toy with the hem of his shirt, trying to make clear to him that he should take it off. Lando doesn’t budge. 

When Lando moves down on your body again and presses kisses against your lower stomach, you’re sure that you’ll be losing your mind. When one of his kisses is almost pressed against your cunt, you almost let out a scream. Fuck it’s actually insane how much you need him to do something to you. Who would have thought that Lando is the one who can make you feel like this? Now that you think of it, you’re not that surprised. 

“Ohh Lan,” you softly moan out when Lando gets even closer towards your more private parts. Lando lets out a low groan. “I need to taste you,” Lando grunts. 

“Please do,” you moan. 

That’s all Lando needed to hear. He dresses himself down in no time. His shirt and pants join your clothes on the bedroom floor. Then he spread your legs for himself. “Such a pretty cunt,” Lando softly mutters while looking at you. He really can’t believe that this is happening. 

“Do something,” you softly beg. 

Lando doesn’t wait any longer anymore. He presses kisses against your cunt in a taunting slow pace. It makes you crazy. “More,” you whimper. Lando listens to you. Like some sort of madman he starts to lick your pussy. His tongue is everywhere at once. You don’t even try to hold back your moans anymore. They are leaving your mouth again and again. It seems that Lando likes it as well. 

“You’re making such pretty sounds for me,” Lando tells you adoringly. It gives you a warm feeling on the inside. You’re probably red already, but otherwise you’d be sure that this would be the reason. “Such a good girl,” Lando continues to praise you. 

Lando slowly lets one of his fingers slide inside of you. Moving it in a rather fast pace while connecting his lips to your clit. Softly he sucks it inside of his mouth. When he releases, you let out a loud moan again. You feel your orgasm getting closer. 

“Fuck me,” you try to order Lando. 

Lando stops his movements. “Fuck you?” He asks you confused.

“I need to feel you inside me,” you confess. 

“What about asking nicely?” Lando asks you teasingly. He always thought you’d be a bit of a brat and it turns out that he’s right. However, what he didn’t expect was how easily it would be to turn you into a begging mess.

“Please Lan,” you beg him without even thinking about it. “Please let me feel you fill me up,” you continue, “Please fuck me.” Begs are leaving your lips like prayers. Lando has never felt so aroused in his life before. He always thought it would be different with you, more intense for sure, but he didn’t expect it to be this much better with you. He’s still wearing his boxers, but he has never felt this close to an orgasm before. You’re making him lose his mind. 

Lando already knows that when he has felt you around his cock for the first time, there’s no one else who would ever feel better around it anymore. He knows for a fact that when he fucks you, he ruins sex for himself for the rest of his life. But still, that doesn’t stop him from pulling down his boxershorts and letting his cock spring to freedom. 

You’re greedily grabbing his boner, needing to feel it in your hands before he puts it inside you. Slowly you stroke his dick, Lando lets out a loud moan. It feels good to pull a sound like this out of him. You want to hear every sound you can get out of him. 

“Princess,” Lando grunts, “You have to stop doing that, otherwise I’ll cum before even fucking you.” 

“Then what are you waiting for?” You ask Lando. Fuck, you feel like a brat but you can’t stop yourself. You never felt like this before. No one ever made you feel like this. Lando can only grin when he hears your remark. 

“Always thought you would be a brat,” he tells you with a dangerously low voice. It makes you even more turned on. “Sorry,” you whimper.

“Never apologize for that babygirl,” Lando is quick to reassure you, “I always liked the thought.” Before you can react again, Lando continues to talk. “And I always liked the thought of you being my brat even more,” he confesses. You don’t know what to say. At this moment you don’t have to say anything, Lando comes closer towards you and starts to line up his cock with your entrance. 

“You still want this?” Lando asks you.

“Please,” you beg.

That’s all Lando needed to hear. He pushes himself inside of you. Within seconds he’s setting a ungodly pace. You can’t even think straight anymore right now. The only thing that’s in your mind is how good Lando is fucking you. Sex never felt like this before. You wonder if anyone else will ever make it feels like this. You don’t think so. Lando is probably ruining you. And you would let him do it again every time he wants to. 

“Fuck,” you whimper when you feel your orgasm reaching again. Lando makes all kind of sounds in the mean time. You love every single one of them. Every small or big grunt, moan and groan makes you even more aroused. 

“You feel fucking perfect,” Lando groans. He increases his pace even more. “I’m so fucking close,” he adds almost ashamed. 

“Me too,” you confess.

Lando didn’t lie about how close he already was. He feels himself almost crashing down because of his upcoming orgasm. He tries to fuck you as hard as he can manage, pushing and pulling in and out of you with a rapid pace. “Fuck,” you almost scream when Lando keeps increasing his pace. “I’m coming,” you tell Lando pretty quickly after that.

You feel the orgasm washing over you. It’s never been as intense as now. Lando tries to pull himself back, remembering for the first time that he didn’t use any kind of protection. Your legs are firmly wrapped on his body, you’re not letting him go. 

“Pill,” you softly explain. Lando nods and pushes himself deeper back into you. He feels his load coming out of him and entering you. 

“Fucking hell babygirl,” Lando grunts a couple minutes later when he feels more relaxed again. His orgasm has left his body. He feels calm again. “That was,” Lando starts a sentence he doesn’t know how to finish. It was so many things, mind-blowing, the best sex of his life and he can go on like this. 

“A mistake,” you finish his sentence. You already feel sad about the words you just said, but you know that it’s for the better to call it a mistake. “This can’t happen again,” you sigh. 

Lando doesn’t know what to think right now. “A mistake?” He asks you confused, “Was it that bad?”

“No,” you’re quick to deny, “I think, no I know that this was the best sex I’ve ever had. But we can’t do this again Lando, I’m not the one for one night stands.”

“I never called this an one night stand,” Lando is quick to tell you. “Let’s talk tomorrow about this babygirl. I want to sleep and I want you next to me.” 

It’s probably the most stupid thing you can do, but you agree to Lando his wishes. You let yourself fall asleep next to Lando. He cuddles up against you and does the exact same thing, but not before wondering how he’s going to make sure that this will happen again. 

part seven

a/n; finaaaaally some tension :) there's more to come! hope everyone likes it <3

taglist: @booksandflowrs @hiireadstuff @likedbygaslyy @dreamsarebig @f1fantasys

@samantha-chicago @sweatrevenge5436-blog @queenofmanydreams @fionamiller123

@chezmardybum @f-1-lover-16 @formulaal @shellybee456 @sltwins

@mouchii @emyladia @v3rnom @customsbyjcg-blog @cthgee @moonclaine

@scarletwidow3000 @bokutos-babyowl @loloekie @lyannesworld @silentreader128

@oreosareara @gabotomo @princesspristins @leclercsluv @lina505

@sideboobrry11 @zucchinimalfoy @danielshoe @alana4610 @viannasthings

@toriiez @randomnessis-mine-me @cmleitora

@kika-writes @fionamiller123 @noneofyourfbusinessworld @lqvesoph @lyannesworld

@sheeeesthings @ssararuffoni @f1fantasys @chrissiekitty19-blog @voidsfics

@curbthatmf @m41-k1tt3n @f1fantasys @m41-k1tt3n @allywthsr

@curbthatmf @sheeeesthings @m41-k1tt3n @blacksoul-27 @f1fantasys

@spideylovin @splzq @chcolateeyelver @bennywattsgf @mswwvaleska

@lifesass @drunkinthemiddleoftheday @insunia

@m41-k1tt3n @aerie717 @wtsc0ns @dripostsstuff

@saachiep81 @misspygmypie

[ventique18]

~ Thoughtless ~

Somehow you feel it. Maybe you're just letting things get to your head, but maybe. Just maybe.

Malleus is in love with you.

How can you not think that, when he comes by to see you almost everyday, or when he sometimes finds himself thoughtlessly tucking a stray hair away from your face. When his hands would naturally find their way to rest on your hip while you're busy baking something, and he would curiously watch from behind?

So when he carelessly lays his head on your lap one lazy afternoon, you find yourself blurting out "I think I'm in love with you." Just as naturally as is his intimacy is towards you.

He doesn't speak. Doesn't even laugh. He just thoughtlessly pulls you down and, clumsy and mismatched as they are, lets your lips wordlessly do the talking.

You're over the moon. How could you not be, when a person you thought was beyond your reach is hopelessly in love with you just as you are with him? You'll be spending your time as a couple from now on. Going on romantic dates together, greeting each other first thing in the morning, getting to know each other in a much, much more familiar depth. Maybe even considering... marriage.

There's an infinite things that you want to do with him. So many things that make you happy. You're happy.

... Until...

"I wonder what bouquet my betrothed prefers for our coming wedding?"

You overhear him as he strolls with Lilia.

Betrothed? As in, someone you promised to marry? He did say wedding.

What the hell.

He's already engaged to someone? And he still kissed you so passionately like that? All along, he was already meant to marry somebody else while he's fooling around touching you here and there, kissing you and pecking you and hugging you and... Is that why he didn't say he loved you when you confessed? He's just leading you on because he's bored?

That son of a--

Tears. Ugly tears. You scream furiously and cry miserably as you strangle and punt and wrangle your poor pillow at Ramshackle. Your best friends watch silently while they try to coax you with your favorite food and your favorite zero-substance comedy film. It works. Your mood lightens.

Until they go home, and he barges into your home with grin you wanted to sucker-punch off his ugly, cheating, demonic, monstrosity of a lying face.

"Why are you here?" You spit out.

His thick, slimy skin couldn't taste the venom in your words.

"Good evening," he giddily greets as he walks over to you-- almost prancing for god's sake, "I was wondering. What type of flowers do you like?"

"The hell are you on about? You think you can keep stringing me around? I'll fuck you up."

"Careful. I am exercising a deep self-restraint out of respect for you. But if you keep playing with me like this, telling jokes about 'fucking me'-- as people say nowadays-- I might truly end up debauching the sanctity of marriage."

You leer at him. What the hell is he yapping about?

"Fuck?"

He sits on the sofa beside you; as graceful as he always seems to be. No, actually. He sits as ugly as a bridge troll. "I see you are impatient. Truth be told, I am too. But we best wait until after graduation, at least. So before then, I would like to ask: what flowers would you prefer for our wedding? I rather wish to grow them myself."

"Our wed--"

And it clicks in your head.

'My betrothed.'

'What flowers would you like?'

'Our wedding.'

It's you. The betrothed is you.

You almost laugh out loud. Out of the silliness of it all, out of embarrassment perhaps, even out of relief. This guy. God, this guy. What a careless, thoughtless, whimsical, nonsensical, brainless guy. But somehow,

"I like wisteria."

It's just, so naturally, him.

"The flowers in full bloom when we first met."

[thelov3lybookworm]

Weeping Heart (Part 4)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Summary: a late night walk in the woods, bandages ripped off old wounds.

•○●⛦●○•

Word Count: 1477

A/n: AHHAHAAHHA I LOVE THISS like it feels so good to be writing 🥹

we getting our hearts broken folks, less goo 🥳

anyways, enjoy!

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

There wasn’t a knife at her neck.

That was the first concern Y/n cleared from her mind, her heart rate slowing in comfort before speeding up again.

Who the fuck-

"Y/n, my friend." Slurred a clearly drunk Cardan.

Thank god it’s this fool.

She knew it was mean to think of him this way, but Cardan had never been much of a warrior.

He was a poet.

Made to be a lover, born to be soft hearted, forced to rule.

"Cardan." She gently grabbed his arm, trying to push him off as she breathed deep, her racing heart slowing. "What are you doing here-"

"How are you!" She blinked as he stepped back, spreading his arms as if asking for a hug.

"I’m good, Cardan. How… how are you?" She mumbled, dreading the answer already.

She did not want to know how he was, because if he was not good- which she somehow knew he wasn’t- she would want to return, heartbreak be damned.

And that would end up with her not being good.

"I’m so glad you asked!" He cackled, swaying on his feet before Y/n wrapped her hand around his bicep and forced him to sit. "I am so sad, Y/n. You know why?"

Her breath caught in her throat, and she stared at where she could make out the outline of his eyes. "Why?"

She began moving again as he started listing off all the reasons everyone at court bothered him, the way this courtier wasn’t entertaining enough, the way that messenger was too stoic and would never laugh at Cardan’s jokes, the way Jude forced him to sit in the great hall and and just watch, prohibiting him from revelling like he had used to before he was crowned.

It made Y/n smile.

Everything had changed in the past year, with his family being killed, him becoming a king, his sudden marriage, but if there was something that hadn’t changed, it was him.

He kept whining as she arranged her pillows around him, and as he leaned back, she nodded along, just like before.

But then his voice lowered, and she had to strain her ears to hear, even with her advanced fae hearing.

"You left too."

She froze. "I know."

"I don’t have anyone to talk to now Y/n." It was dark, but not enough that she couldn’t make out the small pout on his lips.

"I’m sorry, but it was the queen’s orders-"

"Fuck the orders, Y/n. Come back. I am so lonely without you."

She pulled back from him, blinking away the sudden stinging that started in her eyes, but he was quick, his hand grabbing hers in a vice like grip.

Cardan really was lonely, because he was not one to curse so freely, and if he of all people was cursing…

I’m fucked.

"I was so excited to meet you again, but you haven’t talked to me at all since I arrived. And then I thought you would appreciate your soldiers being distracted so we could talk, but then you got mad and left me alone."

His voice kept getting smaller and smaller, like a child on the verge of crying.

It broke Y/n from the inside.

"Cardan-"

"Please Y/n, I want to talk. Just like we used to." He mumbled, and Y/n watched as his eyelids drooped over his glassy eyes, as if he was on the verge of crying but too tired and drunk to. "Please, don’t ignore me. I’m sorry if I hurt you but-"

She swallowed.

"I- Cardan? You want to talk right?"

He hummed softly, his eyes struggling to stay open as he turned on his side.

"Sleep, my love. We’ll talk tomorrow, yeah?"

He turned his head to her again. "You promise?"

She offered him a weak smile, knowing he probably could not see.

"Yes, sweetheart. Rest now."

He passed out before she even finished pulling the duvet over him, and she stared at him for a moment. It was a split second decision, but she hesitantly dipped down, pressing her lips to his temple.

Sighing, she stretched to try and get rid of the sudden pain in her lower back.

She looked around, wondering if she should go back to sleep.

She didn’t, instead stepping out into the crisp night air, her eyes drawing to the softly glowing embers in the middle of the camp, fighting to stay alive long after the fire had died down.

Quietly, she settled down on one of the logs closest to it, lost in her own thoughts.

It wasn’t long before someone interrupted her, though.

"Couldn’t sleep?"

She blinked, then turned to look at the newcomer. "I should be asking you that."

Herb shrugged, plopping down beside her. "I asked first."

Y/n sighed. "You could say that."

He was silent, then- "Why?"

Frustrated, Y/n tilted her head back, eyes fixed on the stars twinkling against the dark sky. "Because my bed is occupied."

He nodded, like he knew exactly what she was talking about.

"Why are you here?"

"Couldn’t stop thinking about all the things. Too much on my mind to shut off."

Y/n hummed.

Neither of them spoke after that. Surrounded by silence and his quiet company, Y/n felt oddly at peace.

In the distance, Y/n thought she heard an owl hoot, the quiet rustling of leaves, the crunch of snow. It calmed her.

Herb stood then, cracking his back.

"Come."

She blinked. "What?"

"I’m going to take a walk in the forest. Come with me."

She thought about it for a moment, then stood. "Not too deep, Herb."

He grinned his signature goofy smile, his canines glinting under the light of the full moon.

"Do you realise what you just said? I can make so many jokes with that."

Y/n shook her head, exasperated, shoving his shoulder as she began walking off towards the dense cover of trees. He continued cackling like a madman, his steps near silent as he fell in step beside her.

Unconsciously, the corner of her lips ticked up.

"So. His highness?"

Just like that, her smile vanished. "What about him?"

Herb was quiet, but she knew he was observing her. "You love him."

It was not a question. It was a statement, his surprise evident in his voice.

Y/n turned her head away.

But she didn’t deny it.

"And he’s married."

"I know." She snapped, making him raise his hands in surrender.

"Calm down, I’m not trying to offend you-" A look from her, and he stopped.

Moments passed, tense, filled with harsh truths swirling between them.

"Why… Why did you not tell him? From what I know, you used to be very close."

"I don’t see how it concerns you." Y/n closed her eyes, chest constricting. She exhaled heavily. "I… he would have never loved me back."

A beat passed, then- "How do you know that?"

"Don’t you know? He was a rake. Had everyone begging for a chance to spend a night with him. He wasn’t the type to settle down, at least not so early."

"But he did."

He did. And it wasn’t with Y/n.

"He would tell me everything back then, and maybe if I hadn’t left… he probably would still have told me everything. A few days before his coronation, he told me he liked Jude. I knew then that I never did stand a chance."

"I… I’m sorry-"

"Don’t be. It isn’t your fault that the heart loves."

He was quiet after that, contemplating. This Herb as new to her. This was not the Herb who was always goofing around, pulling pranks on people in the middle of important missions.

It made her concerned, to say the least.

"Are you sure he doesn’t like you back-"

"Herb. Please."

He nodded reluctantly as the camp came into view again, guilt and sadness mixing with something Y/n did not want to recognise in his eyes.

He came to a stop in front of his tent, glancing at her and opening the flap, his eyes unmoving.

"Get in, Y/n."

She blinked at the seriousness in his tone, the way he refused to break eye contact. "I- you want me to sleep in your tent?"

He rolled his eyes, letting the flap fall. "Unless you are planning on kicking his highness out of yours, where are you going to sleep?"

"Where will you sleep?"

He shook his head. "I’m not tired. I was thinking of staying up and keeping watch for some time."

Y/n nodded, searching his eyes.

She stepped forward, and so did Herb, his back to her.

Y/n hesitated for a moment. "Herb?"

He paused, half turning to her.

"Thank you-"

"Don’t." He offered her a small smile, then walked away.

°•°•°•○🌑○•°•°•°

Cruel Prince Taglist: @dahliawarner @yucanbmylxdy

Cardan Greenbriar Taglist: @kennedy-brooke @hnyclover @minnieoo @sidrapotter

@rosecobollway @mp-littlebit @tele86 @fauxraven

@fuzzycupcakebeliever @bay7let

Taglist: @dreamsarenicer @kennedy-brooke @rosecobollway @batboygirlie

@btrxbllck @love-bookprincess

[queenie-ofthe-void]

A Desperate Fool - Part 8

Part 7

Last time: Nancy finishes filling Eddie in on what he's missed

~~~

“Ok, Wheeler,” Eddie says a little too loud. He claps his hands together and rubs them back and forth, hoping the friction and heat will help him burn away his anxious energy. It all comes down to this. He’s dreading and anticipating the conversation in equal measure, so it’s better to rip the band aid off sooner rather than later. After all, Nancy was right. He came all this way for answers only she could give him. “Tell me about her.”

She sighs, like she’s been gearing up for this part of the conversation. "I introduced them in July, but they've known each other for a while. It took me a bit to convince Steve to agree to a date, but Becky was so head over heels for him that–"

"Wait," Eddie cuts her off. He repositions himself so his legs are tucked under him, curled up against his corner of the couch. Nancy changes her position and mirrors him. "Becky? As in, the Becky you work with? As in the Becky I just met earlier today? That Becky."

Guilt flashes across Nancy's face before she tucks it away again. She sits up a little straighter and yeah, now Eddie's ready to start an argument. He feels like a complete idiot. No wonder Nancy looked so uncomfortable while the woman was here, she clearly wasn't planning on Eddie crossing paths with her. Becky seemed awkward, but in a normal sort of way. Like she didn’t even know–.

"Oh shit," Eddie says absently, "she doesn't know who I am, does she?"

Nancy sighs, shaking her head, "no, she doesn't know about you." Her eyebrows scrunch, and she wiggles her hand back and forth, like maybe she's backtracking a bit. "She knows you're mine and Mike's half brother." Nancy holds up a finger, ticking off each fact about his existence, the only pieces of him that matter anymore. "She knows you're a rock star. She knows you're estranged on bad terms with Mike and I. That's why she thinks no one talks about you."

"And what?" Eddie gets up, burning off the energy by pacing around the room, waving his arms and generally making himself larger to gain some space. Big and scary and dramatic enough to chase his problems away when he's afraid. "They’ve been seeing each other for more than six months. They’re fucking engaged, and somehow no one's ever mentioned that Steve and I were together? Not a single person has ever slipped up?"

"Eddie, other than Mike and I, no one mentions you at all. Ever."

He freezes, mouth dropped open to argue, arms raised with angry emphasis. His initial burst of energy now kindling into a fury, all but snuffed out by a simple sentence. His body slumps to the floor, and Eddie wants to cry, to release the disgusting sense of rejection by his own family. Except it seems they only support his Angel. No sympathy for the devil, and all that.

"It's like I never existed?"

"I told you," Nancy says softly, reaching out to cup his cheek. He hadn't noticed her move, crouched next to him on the floor. There's pity in the thin line of her lips and disappointment in the creases of her brow. "Steve asked us not to, so we didn't. It was the least we could do to help."

Eddie nods his head, a hollow agreement if only to get Nancy to stop talking. Let him take a breath to process. How is he meant to react when she makes it sound so easy to forget him. Easy enough to pretend his life with Steve meant nothing at all, so unimportant that Steve’s spending the rest of his life with someone who’s missing eight years worth of information. And apparently everyone’s just ok with that.

~~~

Part 9

Tag List!!!

@sadisticaltarts @5ammi90 @blacklegsanji21 @jaytriesstrangerthings @thewickedkat

@stripey82

[weirdoldstans]

Curse you anons, I was about to go to bed when I saw my favorite blog update!

I had to pump this out of my brain would not shut off.

Kisses and love to your wonderful anons.

Ford was going to kill Stanley the moment he got his hands on him. The old fool just HAD to mess around with that Fey creature despite Ford warning him numerous times to leave well enough alone and not mess with things that have a perchance to be a vindictive dick.

Thankfully, this Fey assumed human aging worked just like theirs did, so when they cast a spell turning Stan “into a more appropriate age for someone so childish” he only reverted to his late twenties, horrible 80’s hair and everything.

Though Ford would quietly, and privately, enjoy his brother's long hair, especially the way Stanley moaned when Ford yanked on it when they fucked.

However, with this transformation, Stanley did NOT learn a damn thing, as a matter of fact he grinned and said “thanks toots!” And slapped the thing on the ass before hightailing out of there, dragging Ford in tow.

He was now using his new spry body to create as much mischief as humanly possible and Ford was getting to the end of his very frayed rope.

Ford had been delicately and carefully testing a new concoction that when drunk should eliminate the need for showers for roughly a week’s time. Stan took the opportunity to completely ignore the keep out sign on the door and slam it open, screaming. “Lucy, I'm home!”

Ford had the wherewithal to jump behind counter when the mixture sitting his desk started to bubble and finally exploded in a bright flash of light, charring the everliving fuck out his desk and all the papers on it. As ash and cremated remains of a doughnut slowly started to fall to the floor Stan looked at the carnage he wrought and shrugged.

“Oopsies. Sorry Sixer.”

Ford felt the last of his sanity snap. Standing up he charged for his young brother, grabbing him by the upper arm before Stan had the chance to bolt.

“Oopsies? That's all you can say for yourself?” Ford yelled, dragging Stan over to his lab chair and hauling him over his lap. “You barge in here, despite my warning notices on my lab door, nearly blow me and my lab to smithereens and all you can say is oopsies?!”

“I said sorry, what more do you want?” Stan retorted, kicking his legs and squirming.

“I want you to think, Stanley. Use the brain you were blessed with.” Ford yanked at his brother's pants and boxers, pulling them down to bunch at his knees. “If you're going to act irresponsible and childish, then by God, I'll treat you that way.”

His rubber work gloves created a loud sound when the first strike to Stan's bubbly butt landed, echoing in the large room. The first few hits, as always, garnered gasps and wiggles, along with pleas to stop, that Stan would behave.

Ford knew he wouldn't, he never did, even as a crotchety old man, his naughtiness streak was just too long, too ingrained. This is what Stan did when he wanted attention, when he was feeling bored and horny and wanted his daddy.

Since neither of them were good at talking and just, you know, admitting what they wanted, Stan chose to act out, knowing his daddy would take him in hand.

And just like clockwork, as Stan's bottom got redder and redder, his hips shifted from wiggling to humping, the pleas to stop dissolved into wanton moans and down right dirty words.

“Daddy, please daddy spank me. I've been a bad boy!” Stan moaned, grinding his hips into Ford's thigh, getting his rocks off as Ford administered some well deserved punishment.

Still, as much as Stan enjoyed this, it did still hurt. Ford made sure it did actually keep him from being so incredibly naughty for a few days. His hips and whines grew louder and erratic. He was close, as was Ford.

“Unh, daddy!” Stan wailed, crying out as he came all over Ford's thigh and the floor before collapsing bonelessly.

Ford tsked, Stan now lay compliant and gooey over his lap, tears of remorse freely flowing down his cheeks meanwhile drool from pure bliss hung from his lip.

Truly his bratty baby was a sight to see. As much as it irritated him to admit, Ford was also hard.

Perhaps it was time for a break anyhow.

NICE

brat stan <333 firm daddy ford <333

THANK YOU!

[holylulusworld]

Papillon (1) - The lion's den

Summary: Your secret is out and there is no way out...

Pairing: Mobster!Clark Kent x Fem!Reader

Warnings: angst, language, roughness, unwanted kissing, threats, dubcon, pre-smut, tension, betrayal, mafia au, darkish!Clark Kent

&lt;< Prologue

Papillon Masterlist

“This is insanity,” you try to outstep Clark, but he roughly grabs your arms. He shakes you, laughing like one of the villains in a bad movie. “Let go of me. I’m not some bitch you found at a bar. I’m a federal agent!”

“You are what I allow you to be, Papillon. Tonight, I want you to be my whore. Tomorrow, I haven’t decided yet,” he snarls. “So, what will it be? Will you go down on your knees and beg me for forgiveness or call your boss?”

You purse your lips and raise your chin. Clark Kent is scary as shit, but you won’t cower in front of him. Your boss and colleagues will have your back. You’re sure about it.

“I’ll call my boss,” you grit out as his hold on your arms tightens.

Fuck, he’s so strong and tall, and the glimmer in his eyes tells you to not make another mistake.

“How about I call him? He will confirm that you are mine to play with.”

You look up at Clark with angry eyes, but your pulse quickens. He looks so confident and sure about what he says. “Go ahead.”

“Aw, you still believe someone will come for your aid,” he taunts you. “Watch me, papillon. Soon, you will know that only I care for your well-being from now on.”

He cups your face with both hands, making you feel even smaller. “I don’t think so.”

“You’ll change your mind,” he roughly claims your lips, tongue forcing its way inside your mouth. You weakly push against his chest, while debating to bite his tongue. “Let me call him, and after, you will go down on your knees.”

He steps away, leaving you breathless and scared as he walks toward his desk. You want to tell him to shove his arrogance up to his ass, but you are not suicidal.

Clark sits on his comfortable swivel chair, smirking darkly as he dials your boss’s number. He leans back, watching you wring your hands.

Your eyes drift toward the door, and you wonder if you can make it out of the room and house before a bullet ends your life.

“Perry, how are you,” Clark’s grin widens. He imitates a Cheshire grin, making you squirm. “I got your little agent here. I caught her in my web, and I’d like to keep her for fun.”

You swallow thickly when Clark puts your boss on loudspeaker.

“She’s all yours, Mr. Kent. I always keep my word. I just don’t know why you wanted me to send her.”

“I have my reasons.” You feel like a fool listening to your boss and Clark talks about your fate as if your life doesn’t mean a thing to them. “She’s going to be so good for me.”

“If you are happy, I’m happy,” Perry, the man you considered a second father, replies. He laughs and tells Clark to have fun.

“One more thing,” Clark sizes you up. He crooks his finger, gesturing to you to step closer. “Burn her place down. Make it look like she died in the fire.”

“Consider it done.”

“No…please…my cat,” you jump into motion, almost pouncing on Clark. “All my memories…my picture album. It’s all I have left of my family. Please.” You kneel in front of Clark, hands running over his long legs. “Please…”

“Hmmm…” He dips his head to watch you cry. “So pretty when you cry.” Clark leans forward to cup your face with one large hand. He wipes away a tear, humming when you close your eyes. “Why should I shelter your place? What will I get in return?”

“What do you want?” You try to sound strong and confident, but your hope just died. Clark was right. Your boss offered you to the monster in front of you on a silver plate.

“You know what I want, papillon,” his features darken when your eyes drop toward his crotch. “You are already on your knees, so…”

“I’ll do it.” You try to forget about the situation you are in, and that you hate the man in front of you. If you can pretend you like going down on him, he will believe you caved in. You can use his demands to your advantage.

“Perry, I changed my mind. I will send someone to grab a few things. I’ll call you later, and you can burn the place down.”

No…no. You had hoped he wouldn’t go that far. Giving in to keep Clark from burning down your place was your last hope. If everyone believes you are dead, no one will come to your rescue.

“I’ll be waiting for your call then, boss,” Clark ends the call and tosses the phone somewhere on the desk.

“Now, you owe me much more than going down on your knees, papillon. I hope that mouth is worth all the trouble.”

“I always wondered what you are hiding underneath,” Clark watches you strip down to your underwear with hungry eyes. He dips his head, and hums. “My men got your cat, the picture album, and personal stuff. We left all of your papers; you won’t need them anymore. You’re mine now.”

You blend the man out, and his threats too. If you must do this to survive the night, you will try to do it your way.

“Thank you, Sir,” you purr as you drop to your knees to crawl toward Clark. “I bet you are tall everywhere. I cannot wait to get my hands on your cock.”

He looks surprised, but groans, nonetheless. “Come here and get what you deserve. You’ll love tasting me.”

Clark is a dangerous opponent, deadly even. But he’s just a man. After he gets off, he will forget about you, and turn his attention toward business. If you play your cards right, you can slip out of the house and look for help.

He squirms in his seat when you run your hands up his long legs again. You take your time, nuzzling his legs, purring, and moaning as you rub yourself on one of his shoes.

"You make me so wet," the lie easily rolls off your tongue. You inch closer, spreading his legs to kneel between them.

“Fuck,” he curses loudly, barely able to hold back. He may have tricked you and had you on your knees, but you studied all of his weaknesses and kinks. You will be damned if you don’t use your knowledge against him. “You’re such a good slut.”

“I know,” You hate yourself for enjoying having the power over this powerful man. He watches you bury your face in his clothed crotch and nuzzle him while you plan to get him arrested.

He pants heavily, and his eyes are dilated when you look up at him from between his legs. Clark runs his hands over his thighs, fingers digging into his muscles. “Go ahead, pretty papillon.”

Men are so predictable. Doctor, garbage man, or mafia boss. The weakness between their legs will always be their downfall.

You will be waiting for your chance to bring him down. Even if you have to do it on your own…

Part 2

Tags in reblog.

[miheartsedthings]

Part Six

SFW ModernBily x FemReader

Summary: After a fight, Billy is drunk and reckless at a party. You go determined to fix things.

Warnings: ANGST, infidelity, fluff

Words: ~2,000

Music is pounding as you approach the house. You’d followed clues from posts of classmates to lead you here, well past midnight and shivering. You’d rushed to sneak out, forgoing the heavier coat you left downstairs. You snatched a hoodie from the closet and threw it over yourself, swallowing the tiny shorts you wore under it. It wasn’t smart, but you weren’t thinking. You’ve never seen Billy so recklessly drunk and that’s saying something for him. As you enter, your ear is drawn to Amber Letty. You see her in the living room, crouched over a mass of shattered porcelain, broom and dustpan in hand. She’s crying, mascara smudged down her cheeks  demanding one of the jocks kick him out. 

“Are you kidding?” One of the football players says. “I’m not getting my ass kicked.” 

Your gaze sweeps the room, looking for Billy’s hair or his leather jacket, but he’s nowhere to be seen. You rush in, slipping through the crowded space and into the kitchen, only to find a bunch of kids you don’t recognize throwing scrutinizing looks at your outfit. You ignore them and keep going, your heart pulsing so hard it rivals the pumping of the bass in your chest. The living room is full of people, minus the space where Amber and a few others are cleaning. How the other were still dancing and crunching around on glass you couldn’t understand, but then, they all looked wasted. You moved through the surging crowd towards the stairs. 

“Have you seen Billy?”

You ask the first face you come to, a guy mid chug who burps and then covers his mouth. 

“Sorry, nah. He took off like, outside I think?”

“No, he went upstairs,” a girl interjected. “With Molly.” 

“Yeah right, it was Rachel.” 

You press on, rushing up the stairs, telling your frantic, sleep-deprived mind that he’s drunk. He’s not thinking straight and you have to get to him before anything happens. Before he does something he’ll regret. Not just in terms of fooling around with some girl. What happens if Amber calls the cops? So you press on. Upstairs, people are leaning against the wall in line for the bathroom. You open the door to one bedroom to find the air clouded with smoke. 

“Don’t let it out,” a voice calls from the haze and you close the door. You squeeze past the line to another door, finding it locked. You beat the door with a fist. 

“Fuck off,” a girl’s voice yells. 

“Do you know where Billy is?” You yell. 

For a moment no one answers, then footsteps approach and the door swings open. Billy’s clouded eyes look down at you, his brows knitted tight together. His hair is messy, and across his mouth is a faded smear of lipstick.

“The fuck are you doing here?” He asks, his foggy eyes scowling down at you. 

You look beyond him to the bed, where an inebriated Molly Kellerman sits, her lipstick smeared onto her chin. You look back up at Billy, anger plain on your face. 

“This is who you wanna be?” 

“What the fuck are you wearing?” He asks “What did I tell you about wondering around this town at night? Didn’t I say I don’t want you out at night?”

“You don’t get to lecture me!” you yell, drawing eyes, “You obviously don’t give a fuck!” 

You turn to leave. Your chest feels like someone’s punched their fist into it. Billy grabs your elbow, yanking you into the room. You stumble, forced to catch yourself against him. Molly leaves, grumbling as she slams the door behind her. Your eyes are burning and you turn away so he won’t see you tearing up. 

“What the fuck are you thinking going out by yourself?” He asks, “And you’re fuckin naked.” 

You turn on him, glaring. 

“You weren’t worried about me a second ago, don’t be worried now.” 

You move to leave but it’s no use, he steps into your path, stopping you in your tracks. Maybe he hadn’t been so drunk. He looks sober, full of anger and impatience. Then again, he’s been like that so often lately. He points his finger at you. 

“You’re not going anywhere by yourself. Understand? Hate me or not.” 

“I don’t fucking hate you!” you yell, “That’s the point. That’s been my point this whole time but you’re fucking-” your voice drops out and you plop onto the bed. Sitting right where Molly had been. Your heart officially hurts and it’s taking everything in you not to start crying right now. 

“Look, we can both see where it’s going at this point.” His voice is low, resigned. “We tried, but obviously it’s too fucked up…” 

You glare up at him. 

“Do you really wanna break up with me? Never talk to me again, that’s seriously what you want?” 

He falters, agitation settling into his expression. His jaw tightens and he takes a step back. Then shakes his head. You sit there for a moment catching your breath, adrenaline coursing through you. 

“Me neither,” you say, “So we gotta figure this shit out.” 

“That’s the thing, there’s nothing to figure out. We see what the problem is…”

His voice fades, and his expression deepens into one of intense confliction the likes of which you’d never seen on him. It was like watching someone try to speak a language they barely knew, coming up short of words at every turn. It quels your anger a little, drawing your focus back to the reason you’d shown up. Your care for him. 

“Nothing about you is so terrible it’s not worth working on.” 

His blue eyes lift, and he stares at you a moment. 

“You can’t fix me.”

“I’ve noticed,” you answer with a bitter laugh. “But it’s not up to me, it’s up to you. If you’re gonna change you’re the one who has to make it happen, not me. I think you’re capable of it, by the way.” 

He shakes his head. It takes a moment. A long moment when the distant rumble of the party is the only sound, and you watch him work through whatever mental cloud has him stuck. He stands there wearing a cold, empty expression, but his eyes tell the truth of it. He’s scared. 

“Why’d you come here?”

You sigh. 

“‘Cause I love you.” 

The news stills him, his shoulders going slack. He gets down, as if his body were drained of strength, and puts his head in your lap. His arms loop around your waist. Just like the night you told him there was no baby, you run your fingers through his hair, rubbing his back. 

“We should probably get outta here before Amber calls the cops.” 

Out in the car, Billy's hands are on your thighs, rubbing, trying to bring warmth into them. 

“Still don't know why you're naked.” He grumbles. As soon as he'd started the car he'd cranked the heat, complaining again about you not having a coat. His fretting makes you smile. You can’t help that. 

“I rushed over here. I didn't think about a coat. Or pants.” 

You laugh, still shivering a little. Your mind travels back to when you found Billy and Molly together. “Were you really gonna sleep with her?”

His hands stop, and he looks at you through curly locks which have fallen in his eyes. A cigarette hangs from his lips. 

“No.” He says. Nothing more, nothing less. You watch his eyes. The faded pink on his lips. You drag your thumb across them, wiping away the makeup. 

“Why'd you have to kiss her?” 

He leaned back, taking a deep drag from his cigarette. 

“You always ask me shit like that. Like you don't know.” 

“You're not some hopeless asshole who can't help himself.” He looks at you, surprised by your snippy tone. “You're not hardwired to make bad decisions, you're not some demon boy. You get choices. So why'd you choose that? Tell me right now.” 

He lets down the window, blowing smoke into the night. Looking away, he shrugs. 

“Thought it'd make it easier. Make me forget. Give you something big to drop me for.” 

He looks so miserable when he turns to face you. His expression resigned as if this line of thinking were to be expected. It breaks your heart. 

“I don't wanna break up,” you say “All I wanted was an apology. That's not too much.” 

“Yeah well, if I can't give it what's that tell ya?” 

You shake your head, a laugh breaking through your chest.

“Jesus, I've never seen somebody be their own worst enemy like you.” 

What pops into Billy's head is that he's never seen someone care about him like you. He's watching you, his head leaned against the headrest. He's wondering when you'll get tired of him and run off. He'd rather it happened because he made it happen like he was trying to do tonight. But you're stubborn. You'll hang on until he fucks up without meaning to. He’s not sure when but it'll happen. He knows it'll happen. 

His cigarette shrinks down to the butt and he flicks it out the window. 

It's been quiet for a while. He's been sitting there lost in his thoughts, and when he looks back over you're asleep. He watches you for a minute, maybe two, then reaches into the glovebox. He tears the edge of an envelope and finds a pen. 

You wake to gentle nudging and open your eyes to see your house standing in solemn darkness. You turn to see Billy. He looks tired, but at least he's peaceful. 

“I'm home?” You grumble, rubbing sleep from your eyes. 

“You're home,” he echoes, softly. “Get in there.” 

You look at him, your eyes kissing all over that beautiful face you love so much. Your vision is blurring and you blink fast to clear your view. Don’t cry, don’t cry. Then, you lean over and hug him. An embrace he returns. 

“I love you, you know. I mean it.” 

“I know,” he answers. But his voice sounds so sad. When you pull back, his hand touches your cheek. “I meant what I said about going around at night. Don't do that shit again.” 

You nod. 

“Got it.” 

His lips come to yours, and he kisses you in that tender way you recognize. Later, back in your room, you pull off the hoodie, and a little slip of paper flutters to the ground. You pick it up, finding that it's the edge of an envelope. Written there in Billy's sloppy hand is:

I'm sorry.

The next morning you wait at the gas station, sitting on the concrete bumper in front of the parking space Billy always uses. The slip of paper is tucked into the plastic cover of your binder. It’s a small victory but it makes you feel giddy. He said it, however indirectly and that means progress. You hear the purr of the Camaro and rush to stand, excited to see him. Music is spilling from the windows, and when he pulls up he yells over it, leaning over the center console to shine that fabulous smile at you. 

“Hey,” he says.

You lean with your arms folded on the rolled-down window. 

“Hey.” 

“I need a hottie to ride to school with, and you’re the only one in town. Mind hoppin in?” 

Your smile widens. 

“Not at all.” 

You get in the car and he pulls you into a kiss that blots out the sun. His strong hand cups the back of your neck gently but with so much intention. So much frustration and anger is lost between your lips. So much has already been forgiven and you want to forget it just as quickly. Start over. Better yet, start from now in this perfect place. When you pull apart you touch his cheek to keep him close. You can see a little hesitation in his eyes as one of his brows lift. 

“Yeah?” he asks.

“I’m gonna tell you my dream, but don’t say anything after, okay? Not a word.”

“Fine,” he says, “Now open those pretty lips and talk to me.”

You sigh, a heady peace settling over you. 

“This time next year, we’re in California. We live together, even if it means staying off campus. We spend weekends on beaches all over the coast, including the nude ones.” He grins at that. “Sundays we have friends over and we take turns cooking. When we get bored you take me to your favorite places, and we go on long drives some nights when we can’t sleep. We do this for a long time, and then we get a house, and then sell that house and get a condo.” He laughs, looking at you with unabashed adoration, stroking his thumb against your shoulder. 

You look at him for a long moment, at his cheeks, slightly flushed. He doesn’t say a thing. You head to school on a high, the two of you feeling as fresh as the day you first got together. Everything is right and not even the sight of the drab high school dampens your moods. Billy parks and cuts the music, but you touch his shoulder before he can get out. He turns an inquizitive gaze to you. You lean over and kiss him, putting extra care into it until a little moan sounds from his chest. That’s when you pull away. 

“What’s that for?” his cool eyes focus on your lips a moment. You wait until he looks into your eyes to say the words:

“I forgive you.” 

He seems surprised at first, but then that beautiful, full-hearted smile breaks across his face. You’ll go the rest of your days buoyed by the sight of it.

To be continued...

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟🧟

Pardon the formatting! On my phone!

—-

129 for zombies

—-

“Hey, no,” Buck shakes his head. “I just… I wish I knew how to help.”

There’s nothing Buck could do to help beyond what he’s already done.

“You’re good,” Eddie whispers.

“How about we, uh…We go to your family’s and see about that?”

Eddie nods. “Yeah. Okay.”

There’s nothing else to do.

He feels hollow as they get back into the truck. Buck offers to drive and Eddie lets him. He wants to scream.

Could it be possible that all of this, every fucking risk, was for nothing?

▪️▪️▪️

Obviously, they don’t find any of Eddie’s family either. Their bags have been packed. Houses boarded up. They tried to leave.

Eddie really hopes they made it.

Though, he supposes he’ll never fucking know, will he?

That seems to be the theme of the day. There are no answers available. Eddie will spend forever wondering.

They crash at Abuela’s. There’s still furniture in the house. And even though it feels eerie and wrong to be there without her, at least there’s a roof over their heads. They’re exhausted, and make the call to go to sleep early, then leave to head back to Sunport as soon as they’re awake. Eddie sleeps on the couch, unable to bring himself to sleep in his grandmother’s room, while Buck sleeps on the bare mattress of the guest bed.

As the sun sets, Eddie finds himself unable to hold anything back anymore. Alone finally, he begins to cry.

He’s so incredibly frustrated. Frustrated and heartbroken. He thought he’d be able to track her down. He thought, despite all the things that were over and ruined because of the apocalypse, he could still hold onto the hope of closure with Shannon.

He’ll never get a chance to apologize.

He is always, always too late.

And Christopher will suffer for it.

Eddie feels a deep and dark well of self-loathing. He feels useless. He feels disastrous. He has no idea what the point is anymore. What’s the point of anything he’s done?

“Eddie?”

Fuck. He’s been too loud. He thought he was quieter. God, this is embarrassing.

“It’s fine. I’m fine.” Eddie tries to make him go away. He really doesn’t need any extra attention drawn to this.

“You don’t sound fine.”

Well, no. He’s not really. But he also doesn’t need the humiliation.

“I’ll be fine,” Eddie amends.

Buck doesn’t leave. “Do you want to talk about it?”

It’s too dark to see one another, so Buck doesn’t see the aghast look on Eddie’s face.

“No,” he replies.

“Should you anyway?”

Perhaps! But that doesn’t change the way the thought of talking about it makes him feel. Which is tense and tight and horrified.

“I just feel like a fool,” Eddie admits, shifting into a sitting position. “My son could have died for nothing. Now I have to go back and tell him we won’t find his mom. We’ll just never know.”

“He’ll know you tried,” Buck says. Eddie hears him walk closer. “That’s something.”

But is it enough? Eddie isn’t sure.

“Maybe,” he replies. “I just don’t know what to do from here.”

“You mentioned sisters?” Buck asks. Eddie has brought them up in passing a few times. “Where are they?”

“Yeah,” Eddie answers. “Sophia and Adriana. They traveled northeast with Sophia’s husband. In search of some safer coastal communities.”

“But you don’t know if they made it?” Buck guesses.

“No,” Eddie confirms.

Buck sighs. “Man, I’m sorry. I know… I know the uncertainty eats at you.”

Eddie doesn’t reply. The uncertainty had ended happily for Buck. Eddie doesn’t think he’s going to be so lucky.

“Honestly?” Buck continues. “Maybe just come back to Sunport for a while. It’s safe. Christopher has kids his age to play with. It’s a good place to rest and find a new plan.”

Eddie considers this. It’s probably the best thing to do. Buck is right. It’d be nice to give Chris some stability for a while. Let him be a kid. Spend time working on skills like reading and math, not Morse Code.

“I don’t want to overextend our welcome,” Eddie says cautiously.

“Oh, we’d put you to work,” Buck assures him. “You’re fit. Potentially have useful skills.”

“Potentially?” Eddie echoes, affronted.

“I don’t know,” Buck teases. “Can’t break down a door. Made me shoot the zombie…”

“I was upset!”

“Uh huh,” Buck replies doubtfully.

“Ask your sister how my shooting is,” Eddie grumbles.

“It’s okay. I can teach you the fishing nets. Maybe we can make some more.”

Just like that, Eddie knows he’s going to do what Buck suggests. Somewhere friendly. Somewhere safe for Chris. Somewhere where a handsome, shirtless man can teach him to make fishing nets on the beach. Okay, maybe he threw in some extra details on that one.

“Thank you, Buck,” Eddie says, sighing. “You’re right.”

[fuckingguide]

need to vent about some stuff going on in my life. putting it under a read more otherwise I'll end up "do you love the colour of the sky"-ing everyone lol

I still don't know how things ended up this way. last year it looked like all these changes were going to bring great things and now I feel like I've made the worst mistake of my life and I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm continuously postponing the inevitable, and in two months I won't be able to do that anymore. I'm gonna have to face reality and accept that a relationship between me and this guy will never happen, except I have to see him every single day so I don't know how we will be able to handle that. I'm gonna have to ask him not to talk to me anymore, so I can get over him, but the idea of sitting in the same room as him every day as we ignore each other, knowing that we're still in love with each other, makes me want to cry, and I know it's the same for him.

so what then? I'm still dealing with a language barrier in this country and I don't have any friends besides my coworkers, the closest friend being the guy to whom I will have to stop talking if I ever want to get over him. and the thought of trying to go out and meet people and make friends while dealing with this heartbreak is exhausting, and that's not even taking into account my general introversion and low social battery.

so I will lose the only friend I have due to a self-imposed ban. but what other choice do I have? we tried the just-friends route and it doesn't work, we both still clearly have feelings for each other and keep toeing the line, and maybe he's okay with things staying like that forever, but I'm not. I'm lonely and I feel miserable. I feel good when I'm with him but even those moments are soured by the knowledge that we can't actually be together and we most likely never will be. and if that's the case, I need to forget about him somehow. how am I ever gonna find someone, or even just focus on meeting new people and making friends, if I'm hung up on a guy who will never be with me? unless he proves me wrong in the next two months and decides to be with me after all, but I doubt that.

and on the one hand I think of that borrowing grief from the future post and think I shouldn't cry now over what will happen in two months when he gives me a no as his final answer, but on the other hand I think, aren't I just fooling myself sitting here thinking that things are gonna be fine just like that? shouldn't I be trying to prepare myself for what will most likely happen?

but then again how do I do that? what do I do? and how the fuck will I survive the heartbreak and the loneliness? how will I get over him if I see him every day, how will I survive having to ignore him the whole day? the only other option I see is moving back to the country I was in before, but even then I won't be immediately healed. I'll still feel like shit for a long time. and it would mean admitting defeat, having to tell everyone that I just couldn't hack it in a new country and I'm giving up, and giving up this opportunity to settle in a better country than I was in before (although I'm lucky enough that the previous country is still a good enough country with a decent economy (for 2024 standards)). but at least I would never see him again and I would be guaranteed to get over him eventually. and I'd have my friends back, my social life back if I move to the same area I was in, and not have a language barrier anymore.

but then I think of that other post that's like "I want it back = I drag its dead weight forward" and wonder. am I just kidding myself, thinking I can go back? I don't know. I don't know what to do. things are bad now but the clock is ticking and soon they will be even worse. at least for now I still have a good relationship with him and we have fun at work. soon even that will be gone, and then I really don't know. everyone tells me I'm so brave for having moved here, but I don't feel brave. I feel like I'm living in fear of all the pain I went through these past months and all the pain I will feel in the foreseeable future, and I keep making choices that won't help me at all in the long run, just to avoid having to feel that pain again. I'm not brave at all. I'm so scared all the time.

[livingobserver]

Shit Show of Your Own Making....

I am a Political Independent. In the truest form of it (not the Bernie Sanders cloak form). Do we just sit on a political fence and just do nothing? NOPE! In fact as a part of the Majority of Voters..., the so-called" Silent Majority" I'ma about to jump off this here fence to the Right. Or..., perhaps better said..., Pushed to the Right by the incredible adolescent stupidity of the Left. That they actually celebrate. As are many Independents I speak with going to the Right. Whether Trump remains on the ballot or not. There needs to be strong pushback against the Insanity. To swing the compass needle back closer to the center. Where sanity is most found. Even if it means not being in complete agreement with some of the Right's insanity. Like an Executive Order by Trump to fork over hundreds of millions in Tax Payer Funding for...., Microsoft and it's A.I. development WTF? Why does Microsoft need hundreds of millions of Tax Payer Funding? it doesn't, that's just the cost of the Government entering into a Data Collection Contract with Micro-Daft. Truth be known. "The A.I. is your friend" and "If you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear." While they themselves hide. Such is the way of Wolves in Sheep's clothing. But perhaps more fitting "Coyotes in Sheep's Clothing."

Anyway, I've looked, as so many Independents are now doing..., as to which side of this Cold Civil War, displays the greatest level of Common Sense as things are now, the way they are. If nothing else I am Pragmatic. In that regard Biden has lost the Independent support any candidate needs to win a General Election. Beyond Ballot Tampering. By either side. In this, Biden has already lost. Not just because we know that it is bat shit crazy (Unelected) jill Biden running the circus, but because of the effects and affects, of that circus. on us all. Rich, "Middle Class" (there's a broad term). Poor, Black, White, Brown, Yellow, Red, Green, Male, or Female, or somewhere in between Gay, Straight, whatever color of the rainbow is your favorite. As American Independents..., we shout "EHOUGH is ENOUGH!". If we must be made to be heard, then you WILL hear us. At the Ballot Box or Mail Box. You will once again hear the true Majority in America that has no corrupted Party Mechanisms, no Corrupted Party Leaders. The Majority that cast the votes to elect the last 5 or more American Presidents..., for better or worse, but always in hope of better. But what can we really do about the choices offered when we are purposely excluded from the Primaries and can only hope on, what your corrupted Parties are worth hoping through. 350 million + people in America..., and this is the best you can offer? This..., is what you worship? Don't come crying to me about a shit show when all you have to offer are the these two. You don't leave much choice between Trump and Biden. But, I can't be so much the Fool as to choose Biden. I just can't be made to look that stupid. I am an American first and foremost and I remember what is was like..., before being a Fool became so popular that things like 'The View' and MSNBC (MSDNC) and FOX (MSRNC) are applauded by the dumbest of the Sheeple. If this triggers you, no matter which side you worship..., then get off my fucking porch and don't come back till you're clear of the network and internet brainwashing. Till and if..., then, I'll not miss you. I promise you that. So very sick and tired of the STUPID and SHALLOW, self-inflicted blindness and it is self-inflicted if you've allowed it. Can you not think for yourselves? Can you not breathe without being told how to do so? I wonder....

[nohoney]

omg k sweetness I apologise for the influx of c&c asks… I am now riding the fluffy/happy smut train and am happily thinking ab c&c. us!yn suffering in the corner; everything is totally FINE!

for u darling („• ᴗ •„)

warnings: takes place before pt 1, sort of cheating but also not (reader and dabi are not a couple yet), slight drug use

You can vividly remember the very first time it happened, when Dabi first came around you smelling like another girl. It confused you because just a few hours ago he was bidding you goodbye with a lingering kiss, telling you that he was excited to see you later on again. And he did arrive as promised, but the smell of a perfume you didn’t recognize followed with him.

It was a beautiful fragrance but you soured when he had leaned down to kiss your cheek.

“Who were you with?” you asked apprehensively. It was difficult to keep your cool and you couldn’t ignore how loud your heart was beating in your rib cage. Watching Dabi just casually make himself comfortable as he had been doing the last two weeks didn’t settle you like it should. Not when he smelled like another girl.

It sprouted an ugly feeling in your stomach that gradually clawed its way up into your chest. Dabi answers with a dismissive wave of his hand and says ‘some girl’, he tells you not to worry about it. You do try to, you genuinely do. He smells of powdery honey that actually smells so rich and decadent. The staying power of this perfume is wonderful and a part of you desperately wants to know what the fragrance is so that you can buy a little bottle for yourself. The other half of you is growing restless and irritated.

“Who were you with?” you repeat your question from before.

The last two weeks, Dabi filled your mind and you were spending all your time with him. You were gushing over him to your friends, denying having a crush but looking more than a little excited whenever he returned your texts. Slowly you were starting to itch for him, long for him when he wasn’t around, hope silently that he’d drop whatever he’s doing and make plans to be with you instead.

Blue eyes look to you and he looks uneasy, like he’s debating on giving you the same answer or if he should answer truthfully. “I told you, just some girl. No one important.”

It’s not a good enough answer because you know it wasn’t just him hanging out. Dabi doesn’t hang out with anyone. The only other answer is your mind is that he sold to someone and he… you don’t want to talk about it-

“Did you fuck her?” the question slips out before you can even think about it.

The room is silent and uncomfortable.

Dabi looks at you and you stare back at him. Your heartbeat is loud in your ears and your mind begins to spiral. “I thought you liked me.” the words fly out again because his lack of response to your question is beginning to upset you. “We’re, like, doing all these things together and you fucked someone else?”

“I never really stopped fucking other people,” Dabi admits and his tone implies that he has no regret, “it’s really not important to tell you.”

Your face heats in embarrassment and you feel like a fool. “I think you should go.” you tell him, looking more past him rather than at him.

It hurts that Dabi leaves without any explanation or apology to try to stay. He leaves silently and shuts the door with a quiet click. At first you wait just a few moments, hoping that he’ll come back through the door and he’ll talk to you. That he’ll express some regret in hurting you and that he’ll promise that he won’t do it again. After two minutes pass, it’s evident that you are left alone and you sit on your bed with your head in your hands. Angry tears sting behind your eyes but you don’t want to let them fall.

But you’re hurt because here’s this guy you know you really liked but he made you feel so stupid.

So you get drunk in your bedroom, crying into your pillow and deciding whether to send a ‘fuck you’ text or to just ghost Dabi altogether. Your girls would say to ghost him but you like Dabi. You like spending time with him and how he actually plays along with you when you get a little silly, you like how he takes care of you and you feel special that he told you that he’s never spent this much time with someone before.

So why did he still fuck someone else?

Maybe it’s my fault… I didn’t say anything. But I don’t even know if I want him as my boyfriend.

His contact is displayed on your phone screen and your thumb hesitates tapping the call button. You want to yell at him and you want to tell him to explain himself. A bottle of fruity vodka is filled into a pink mug and you sip and chase it with juice. You struggle slightly to be able to stand in place, leaning against your fridge for support and still staring at your phone screen.

Your thumb jams at the call button and the phone begins to ring.

It picks up after a few rings and Dabi voice’s answers roughly, “Hello?”

Why did you fuck someone else? I really like you and I thought you liked me. What the fuck?

It was your intention to say all those things but instead you burst into tears, blubbering gibberish and the only comprehensible thing that could come out your mouth was his name. He had hung up and it only made you cry harder when the call ended but you had failed to hear him tell you that he was on his way.

On the floor of your bedroom you were facedown and weeping quietly when you were slowly turned over on your back. You sniffled and hiccuped trying to speak and calm yourself.

“Alright doll, just calm down. I’m here.”

Dabi helped you to your bathroom, holding your hair back and waiting patiently as you threw up into the toilet. The taste of stomach acid and fruit juice laid on your tongue in a disgusting mixture, tears pricked your eyes from throwing up your guts but you had stopped crying. It’s disgusting to gather the taste in your mouth but you spit it into the toilet before flushing.

It takes a few minutes for you to pull yourself together before you look over, Dabi having brought you a bottle of water and he’s fishing out something from his pocket. He fishes out his car key and dips it into the small baggy of coke, carefully holding it up for you to take a bump. “Here, to straighten you out a little.”

You lean over and inhale the white powder into your nostril, the brief smell of gas hits your nose and Dabi does the same for your other nostril.

“I like you…” you slur to him, not all of the alcohol having been purged out your system, “I like you!”

Dabi looks uncomfortable but he pushes the water bottle towards you. “Look, I’m here. I wouldn’t do this shit for anyone else.” he assures you softly, “I don’t answer crying girls at this time of night. If anything, they get blocked.”

The cocaine slowly hits your brain and you feel a bit more lucid, but there’s still no mistaking that you still feel hurt. “Dabi…”

“We can talk about this in the morning-“ he tries to help you to your feet but you shake off his touch.

“Why not now?” a slight spark of anger shows as you glare up at his handsome face, “You-You did me dirty! You were leading me on!”

A hand runs down his face and he lets out an exasperated sigh. “It’s late, we’ll talk about this in the morning.” he attempts to tell you again but you’re adamant that he answer you now. It’s the first time you see him get impatient with you and all he does he bend back down to your level, giving you a chilling stare that makes you quiet down.

He gets no fuss as he helps clean you up and gets in bed with you. Dabi spoons you from behind and he doesn’t offer any goodnight to you. Even in your somewhat drunk state, you sensed that it was better that you stay quiet.

In the morning, nothing gets discussed. Instead he nurses your hangover, staying by your side and helping clean the sticky mess of alcohol that you don’t even remember spilling on your kitchen countertop. What was supposed to be a discussion doesn’t get addressed and a part of you fears that if you bring it up then Dabi won’t be willing to stick around.

It’s not like you were super sure about dating him either so you also didn’t feel like you had any right to be so upset with him.

But in the way Dabi kisses you, there’s tenderness in it that makes you a little weak, it brings back the little fuzzy feeling you’d been feeling since you and him first started fucking. For a few days, it’s back to the routine of spending all your time with him. Another day he returns smelling like another girl and he sees the unhappy look on your face, but this time he’s more careful to be approach you.

It’s not necessarily a silent agreement to not discuss, but you see that Dabi goes out of his way to try to please you and make you happier. That he’s doting on you in his own way and that he wants to continue to be around you.

You decide that you like him enough to let these things happen.

[polarisbibliotheque]

Silly writer things and some musical ramblings

*sigh* just a little silly writing update to you all before I come back with serious stuff, shattering whole worlds, making you cry over feels for these unhinged half-demons,

I 100.000% blame my sister for throwing me back into my Richie Sambora crush and I must warn you all it will show in the next things I write for Dante - we'll have 'you yee'd your last 'haw' silly red devil in these premises soon enough and I regret nothing.

Though Dante will be more like this, probably

Before you guys ask, it's the Bon Jovi docuseries. I first listened to them when I was 6 y/o, probably, and Livin' on a Prayer was the first song I felt things I didn't even know I could feel with music. I saw Richie singing and playing, bam, love at first guitar chord.

Plus, Wanted Dead or Alive is one of Dante's life anthems, he would sing and play it 10/10 dressed like Richie, I'll die on this hill. I'll leave you with the video that made me go "I wanna be a badass guitar player someday":

(and some of my music ramblings under the cut for those interested in it, feel free to not read it but give the video a shot! Seriously. It's a very long ramble, though you might learn a thing or two on music!)

OK! MUSICAL SHENANIGANS!

Little disclaimer: I'm just getting back to it, so sorry for blabbering about this here - I kinda need an outlet and I have no one else to talk to about all this. Music has been my best friend ever since I was a kid and I had to muffle it for a very long time in my life, I'm just now coming back to life and it feels amazing!

I had piano classes at school, but I always wanted to play and learn things that weren't quite in the curriculum...

Hence why I got used to watching videos and observing musicians extensively. It's kinda creepy actually

So, Richie has a triple neck guitar here, first time I ever saw one. The first neck, I think it's something close to a mandolin, second neck a normal 6 strings guitar, third neck a 12 strings guitar - basically, 2 strings instead of just one like a regular guitar. The 12 strings is the one that gives Wanted Dead or Alive that cowboy feels to it.

Now, that behemoth of a guitar must weight a fucking ton. My normal, 6 strings stratocaster already weights like hell - don't ever be fooled by those guitarists manhandling their guitars around like nothing 'cause those things are heavy - imagine a triple threat like that. No wonder he plays most of it sitting down.

Hence why Dante can play and wield Nevan like it's made of cardboard, it's his demonic side showing, that showoff

Another thing to note, is that when he gets his electric guitar, his strap is adjusted so his guitar isn't super low on his body... And he doesn't look like young Beatles with the guitars on their chests. He looks cool, I can play my guitar like Richie and I'll be cool, 'cause I CAN'T for THE LIFE OF ME play with my guitar almost on my knees. I personally find it easier and better to play like he does.

My arms aren't that long, I'm pocket-sized, thanks Richie for avenging me back in the 80's and looking cool regardless.

And size has nothing to do with it, 'cause this man is big - and I say that by his hands. My main pet peeve with guitarists worldwide: men have big hands and can wrap them easily around the guitar necks and play 5 finger chords using their thumbs like it's nothing.

Not exclusive to men, though: my sister can do the same, but she doesn't play anything. Blessings were wasted on her :')

Nevertheless, I love watching guitarists hands and how they do stuff: how they hold their picks, how they play the notes, how they move their hands. Richie has wonderful hands and hand movements, and there's a lot to learn there by carefully watching him play.

For instance: I can rest assured I'm not learning alternate picking and training to play faster wrong, 'cause Richie rests his pinky finger of his rhythm hand on the guitar while picking the strings and it's exactly what I naturally do.

I can ditch all those "5 things you're doing wrong when playing guitar!! Avoid this!! Bet you're doing the 3rd example!!" videos, 'cause if Richie Fucking Sambora plays like this, then I'm not doing it wrong, just differently. It gives you some reassurance if you don't have a teacher or if your teacher is an asshole.

I hate people who put so many rules in music. I'm kinda like Barbossa, the Code (theory) is more of a guideline than rules set in stone, anyway. I'm learning theory, but I personally believe the ~feeling~ is more important

One thing I always do, is watch where they play on the fret and their rhythm hand movement, and I managed to figure out some songs I had trouble with just by watching them playing live.

Figured out the C9 chord while watching this video of Richie and "why isn't he playing the C chord that I play when I learned this song?" because the man knows best and taught me a thing or two I didn't know ;)

Hahahaha so, my fellow musicians, I do this with all instruments. I learn the chords, but I always watch thoroughly various videos of the guys who made the songs playing live so I can double, triple, quadruple check if I'm doing it right or how to get unstuck in a particularly annoying part I cannot figure out for the life of me.

You know those videos people make of musicians playing live on social media? Currently I'm getting a lot of Nameless Ghouls on my instagram hahahaha and said videos are WONDERFUL to watch hands and learn. I have a hand issue

And I'll end this on: Richie's ragged voice singing his part of the song at the end does things to me. Sorry Jon. But Richie snatched my heart right then and there.

I hope you guys who were patient enough to read this learned something from it and NOW I shall go write a little more and go to sleep, 'cause it's almost 2 a.m over here and I think it's showing :)

[xexiar]

Keep Watching. 35

Ch34 Ao3

----

Chapter 35

I am still in disbelief that I ran into Deku. It wasn't because it was impossible, but rather because he accidentally bumped into me. I was trying to clear my head while walking through the halls when I saw the number 2 hero. I was worried he might recognize me, but he seemed preoccupied with something else. I wondered if he was trying to find his son.

While wandering the halls, I suddenly spotted a certain peppermint hair in the stairway. I was going to walk away but decided to stay on the path I was on. What did it matter if I saw him? “Why aren’t you with the class?” Was he seriously talking to me?

“You got some nerve. And you shouldn’t be talking.” He just looked over his shoulder at me. It was then I noticed that his eyes seemed to be puffy. Was he crying? Oh great. Icyhot was just like the nerd. “What the fuck.” I walked closer and leaned on the wall opposite to him. “The sperm donor is looking for you.”

“Sperm donor?” At that, I looked over to half-and-half and saw the confused expression he had. That was until he looked around the corner and back at me. “You mean my father?” I simply nodded. “Damn it.”

“Oh, stop mopping.” The way Icyhot started to walk away somehow pissed me off. “If all you gonna do is run away then you shouldn’t be here.”

He quickly looked back at me. “I’m not running.”

“That’s not what I see.” Icyhot walked up to me and tried to seem all intimidating. “If you’re not running, then you better give it all you got during each of your matches. I don’t want a half-ass win.”

“Oh, please. You won’t win this.” He then took a step back and used his thumb to point at himself. “Unlike you, punk, I know I’ll win. I trained my own life for this. At that, I will prove to my sperm donor that I don’t need his quirk to be number 1.”

I sucked my teeth as I got off the wall and looked Icyhot in the eyes. “Well, this punk says you’re going to need both of your quirks if you plan to beat my ass. I want only the best to fight against me. So, don’t cut yourself short before you dare challenge me.” His left eyebrow rose before he walked away. That was until he stopped.

“If I didn’t know any better, I would have believed you and Midoriya were the same.”

“Excuse me!” He looked over his shoulder at me. “Don’t you ever dare compare me to that nerd!”

“Takes a nerd to know a nerd.” I was just stunned as Icyhot walked away. That really pissed me off, but I tried to ignore it.

After taking a few breaths to clear my head, I walked back to the other idiots. As I did so, I spotted fireball. At that, he seemed to be standing in front of peppermint hair. Damn it. Instead of turning away and walking in a different direction, I leaned against the wall and stood out of sight. “Stop your rebellious games, Shoto. You need my quirk to win. After all, my quirk is superior compared to these pathetic fools.”

“I refused to use the quirk of my sperm donor!” I couldn’t help but smirk at that.

“Shoto! Where did you learn such language? You will respect me!” After that, I heard footsteps coming in my direction. “I am not done speaking to you!” That’s when I saw Icyhot turning the corner that I was behind. We made eye contact before we both walked down the hall.

Most of the walk was silent between us before we reached the exit to join our class. “Does fireball always talk to you like that?”

Once again, Icyhot looked confused before facing me. “You come up with strange names for people. But yes, fireball has always been that way.” He then folded his arms. “Prepare to lose, Bakugo.”

I sucked my teeth as I looked him up and down. “In your dreams, Todoroki.”

That’s when Icyhot looked taken aback. He even dropped his arms to his side. “So, you do know my name?”

“Don’t get used to it.” I looked towards the entrance. After a few moments, we finally walked back to the rest of the class. The spot I had taken earlier now had someone else sitting there. And from the looks of it, it was none other than the nerd. So, I kicked at his legs. “Out of my spot.”

“Leave Midoriya alone, you jerk.” I looked up and saw that doom head and glasses were looking at me. I kicked Deku’s leg again. “Just stop it.”

“Make me.”

It looked like round face was going to say something until the nerd stood up. “It’s ok, Uraraka.” The nerd then looked at me. “And you could have just said excuse me, Kacchan.” It took everything in me from punching Deku. Why did he say my name like that? Especially when it gave me a weird sense of goosebumps. If we weren’t dealing with the sports festival, it would have been nice to hear him say my name like that again.

…

When I met up with everyone, I noticed two empty seats. One of which was on the outer corner of the group. The other one was next to Uraraka. I decided to sit on the outer corner seat. “Hey, man.” I looked next to me and saw it was Kaminari. “Bakugo was sitting there earlier.”

“Really?” Kaminari nodded, and I couldn’t help but smile. He then asked what with my expression. “It’s nothing.” He shrugged his shoulders and went back to watching the match between Ashido and Aoyama.

As I watched the match, I couldn’t help but pull out my notebook from my pocket. I had grabbed it before I bumped into Kacchan. While trying to write notes, I couldn’t help but smile. Besides my classmates having fascinating quirks, I was sitting where Kacchan had sat. I don’t know why that had me giddy, but it did. And then, when Kacchan showed himself, I had to stop myself from laughing. Especially when he kicked at my legs. “Out of my spot.”

I knew that was coming back. Before I could argue back, Uraraka spoke up. “Leave Midoriya alone, you jerk.” Somehow, I felt somewhat disappointed. I was planning to use one of the comebacks I thought about just for someone else to ruin the moment. Maybe another time.

As I got up, I decided I could still try to say something. “And you could have just said excuse me, Kacchan.” Why did I say his name like that? Either way, the face Kacchan had was priceless. He looked both taken back and angry.

“You can’t tell me what to do?” I tried so hard not to flat-out giggle in his face as I went to the seat next to Uraraka. Which was just about four chairs over. Then it was Tokoyami and Yaoyorozu’s match.

As me and Ida kept Uraraka company in the waiting room, I was still surprised that she wouldn’t take my help. Not in the sense of disappointment. But I just wanted to help. Especially since she was going up against Kacchan. “Uraraka is a girl. Bakugo would never truly hurt her.”

I had to hold back a chuckle. Trying to stay serious was somewhat hard. But Uraraka needed all the support she could. Yet, at the same time, I wasn’t going to lie. The way they both looked at me as if I was wrong. “Kacchan doesn’t care if you’re a girl or boy. If you’re his opponent, he’ll treat you all the same.” That’s when I smiled. “You should feel honored that Kacchan will give you a proper fight instead of giving you the win.”

Uraraka just shook her head as she looked at her phone. “After what happened since the second day of class, I’m not too sure about anything.” She then straightened her back and gave me a smile. “But if you say I should be honored, then I will. Maybe this way, I can see if I really can be a hero.” She pounded the table before standing. “And when I win, I would have earned it.” A part of me wanted to tell her that she had no chance of winning. But the other part of me was still hopeful.

“That’s the spirit, Uraraka.” We both nodded at Ida. With that, me and Ida went back to join the class. When we got back, I noticed how Todoroki was standing by the entrance. “Is something the matter, Todoroki?” Todoroki looked at Ida before walking past us. I wonder what that was about. But I had to get that out of my head. Kacchan’s match will start soon. So, I quickly went and sat down. At that, I took out my notebook and braced myself to write down as much as possible.

…

I knew I had to be ready for anything. If I weren’t paying attention, I wouldn’t have noticed when debris had been floating. But it took a lot out of me to destroy all of it. That was a little too close for comfort. And just as I brought my attention back to round face is when she passed out. Guess she went past her limits. Not too bad, but I wouldn’t tell her to her face. Or maybe I should. She at least earned some of my respect.

As I walked up the stairs, I stopped Deku. After a short interaction, I was surprised how he didn’t help cheeks. But I still think she probably figured out her strategy because of how often she spends with the nerd. And how our first training match was. Which pisses me off. Yet, I am grateful for the challenge. She gave her all and helped me point out a few things I still needed to work on.

When I returned to the others, they shamed me for hurting a fragile girl. How dare they dismiss round face own strength? They often preach about encouraging one another but can be hypocritical in their actions. Especially the other girls in my class going about how I should have taken it easy. “So, you rather I look down on you? Or do you want me to treat you as my equal? You can’t have both.” They all silenced and stood away from me.

As much as I enjoyed them being far from me, it also reminded me of how alone I really was. I shouldn’t care about that, but why did it frustrate me? Especially whenever I looked at the extras and saw them smiling among themselves. They all look so happy even though we’re supposed to be against each other. It reminds me of how Kato and Saito always laugh and smile with other people. But whenever they hung with me, there were barely any smiles. At that, we never did what friends were supposed to do. It was either we talked shit about Deku, or they tried to copy my class notes. I’m so glad I no longer have to deal with them.

While watching Deku and Icyhot’s match, I couldn’t help but notice something. Knowing the nerd, he probably also picked up what I saw. Icyhot was crippling himself by just using the ice half of his quirk. His movements were slowing down, and it was clear he was struggling. Eventually, he will lose if he doesn’t do something different.

Besides being pissed that Deku lost, I was at least pleased to see that peppermint hair finally used the other half of his quirk. Maybe now he will do so throughout the rest of the festival. But when that loud mouth of a fireball decided to speak up, I wished someone would shut him up. “He’s just like Bakugo.” I quickly looked to see who had said that. To my surprise, it was froggy. How dare she! I was nothing like Icyhot’s sperm donor.

“Yeah. Such a hothead and rude.” That came from a female’s voice, but I don’t know by whom.

“Just nasty and full of himself, ribbit.” Now I saw who said that, and it was froggy. I quickly left the group and wandered the halls. How dare they! I am nothing like that jackass. Those extras have no idea who I am!

As I turned another corner, I somehow bumped into something. “What the fuck!” I looked up and saw it was All Might.

“Is everything all right, young Bakugo?” I looked away from him as I debated if I should walk away. “I am off to check on young Midoriya. They have taken him to Recovery Girl.” That’s when I looked back at All Might. “Would you like to join me on the walk?” I didn’t say anything as I followed him. While we walked, it was mostly silent. “You did amazing against young Uraraka. Aizawa even praised how you treated her as your equal. Many of the crowd wanted to stop the match. Which was unjust.” I looked up at him before looking at my feet.

“If anyone is going to beat me, they need to earn that.”

“I can’t agree more.” I looked up at All Might, and he was smiling at me. “Well, we’re here.” He pointed, and I saw it was towards the nurse’s office. “Care to come in with me?” I shook my head and waited outside as he went in.

As I stood there, I saw something in the corner of my left eye. When I looked, I saw it was Icyhot. At that, he leaned against the wall on the other side of the door. It was silent for a moment before he spoke. “I apologize.”

“For what?”

“That Midoriya being sent to Recovery Girl. I did not expect—"

“Shut up!” I pushed myself from the wall and faced him. “You better bring that same force when you face me.” I then thumb pointed to the door. “The nerd always does shit like this. He’s so reckless that it pisses me off.” Then I walked in front of half-and-half. His expressionless face was easier to read than the other extras. Especially with how he was avoiding eye contact and the way his shoulder fell slightly. “Don’t pay mind to the sperm donor and win this shit. I want a fair match. Nothing else matters.”

At that, peppermint hair finally looked at me. He even had a small smile. “I will try.”

[alba8688]

Chapter 7

Word count :2393

Warning ⚠️ mentions of alcohol ,vomit if I kiss. Anything let me know thank you 🙏

The first day of Spring break starts today and I have nothing planned for the whole week other than to stay home watch movies,get drunk and cry while drinking and Eddie is probably going to be making fun of me the whole time and probably make have something to say about the movie choice I had for the day .

Talking about Eddie, where is he?

Haven't seen him since this morning. I woke up to him watching me sleep then he disappeared when he saw that i open my eyes .He was laying next to me and as soon as he saw that I saw him he dispersed into thin air .

To be honest I didn't find it creepy at all .

I know I should but the poor guy has nothing to do and he can't sleep. I would have done the same thing if I was a ghost in a coma .

I wonder how Eddie does that ?

Being in a coma then being a ghost is so confusing or maybe I'm just seeing things that aren’t really there and Eddie is just a figment of my imagination.

Or maybe I'm crying thinking I'm talking to a metalhead, a really hot metalhead.

But I mean I see him. I talk about myself. He tells me about himself .How could I be crazy and actually finding out everything he tells me its truth.Aaaahh I'm getting a migraine just thinking about it .

Maybe I just imagined everything .

I can’t deal with this right now. I need to take some pills for this awful headache .

I head over to the kitchen to take some tylenol and like i have nothing to do

Today or tomorrow or the next .Wow, I have a boring life . I might as well do laundry and change the sheets from my bed and clean the apartment now that i have time and maybe order some chinese later,

Uuuu chicken fried rice and some jalapeno chicken yup that's what i'll order and maybe some sushi and two of those triangle sushi looking things.

Before starting cleaning I headed downstairs to grab some breakfast and a coffee then headed back to the apartment to eat my breakfast then clean .

And that's what i did,

i put the laundry in the washer and while it was washing i decided to clean my closet that it had a mess and so i did i ended up putting all my clothes by color like black with black pink with pink dresses with dresses you get the idea of what i did and when i was done I started on the living room to sweep and mop but first i connected my phone to my bluetooth speaker i mean you need music while cleaning if not it gets boring.i put it on shuffle and started sweeping the apartment then after awhile i stopped to get myself a drink a drink meaning a bottle of wine i had on my fridge cold waiting for me to drink it.

I grabbed a glass from the top cabinet and poured myself some wine and chugged it. It was so cold just how I like it and one thing led to another. I was halfway down the bottle and still haven't mopped at all. Now here I was sitting down on the couch with the bottle in one hand taking small sips while I listened to music .

I stood up and went upstairs to my room to grab a scrunchie to put my hair up in a bun then stop when I saw a picture of Eddie I had found while cleaning the back of the closet .

He was wearing a black dio shirt. He must have been younger in that picture around 19 was my guess.

I took the picture and a piece of tape and tape it in my squishmallow i dont know what the fuck i was doing i was too drunk to function properly right now.

But i think i just tape a picture of Eddie in my damn stuffed animal that i hug at night and sometimes use it as a pillow.

And now here I am staring at it and smiling like a damn fool.

What the fuck was wrong with me?

I grabbed my squismallow, hugged it tight and Now I was heading downstairs to the living room when the song changed..

play"CHERRY" LANA DEL REY

Cherry by LANA DEL REY started playing and it hit me right in my heart.I walked over to the kitchen where i had left the bottle of wine and I chugged the last of the wine.

"Do you like that song ?"I asked the stuffed animal with Eddie's picture tape to it.

"Come on sweetheart i just like metal music you should know that."i did a terrible impersonation of Eddie and that made me giggle a lot because i know eddie would say something like that.

Yeah, I was drunk.

I placed the squishmallow in the sofa gently as if it was really Eddie and

started swaying my body to the music and singing to the lyrics of lana .

I glanced at my squishmallow and smiled.

"Dance with me Eddie."I slurred and took the poor squishmallow in my arms and started dancing with it like a crazy person .

"Sweetheart you're such a good dancer." I once again did a really bad impersonation of Eddie making me giggle.

I'm sorry but I drank a whole bottle of wine so now I was singing to the plushie with the picture of Eddie and crying to the lyrics .I was on that stage of my drunk self where I got sentimental.

"" Darlin', darlin', darlin'

I fall to pieces when I'm with you, I fall to pieces

My cherries and wine, rosemary and thyme

And all of my peaches (are ruined)"

I spun around with my plushie squishing it in my chest and now I was crying even more . I don't even know why but I was .

I guess I got in my feelings.

I kept dancing, swaying to the music well. I thought I was dancing but I probably look like a crazy person singing so out of tune and hugging my damn squishmallow that had a picture of Eddie tape to it.

My rose garden dreams, set on fire by fiends

And all my black beaches (are ruined)

My celluloid scenes are torn at the seams

And I fall to pieces (bitch)

I fall to pieces when I'm with you

'Cause I love you so much, I fall to pieces

My cherries and wine, rosemary and thyme

And all of my peaches

When Lana sings "CAUSE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH"i look at my squishmallow with the picture of Eddie and sing to him like if it really was Eddie dancing with me Right now that i was drunk i could honestly say that I had fallen for that metalhead .

Tomorrow I might deny it but right now I won't.

And the next thing I knew was that I was kissing his picture without noticing that Eddie was sitting down on the couch with an amused smile .

"Ok now i see why you keep it in your bed ,Do you guys need some alone time?"I heard him say ,I instantly hid the squishmallow behind my back so Eddie wouldn't see the picture I was kissing .

-"W-when d-did you get here?"I slurred my words. I was trying my damn best not to seem like I was drinking but I don't think I was doing such a great job because

I kept stumbling even though I was standing in place staring at Eddie with wide eyes.

He is going to think I'm a weird person for kissing his picture..I thought to myself.

"Sweetheart, are you drunk?"He stood up from the couch and slowly approached me .My instant reflex was to hide the stuffed animal behind my back,I couldn't let him see it, not today or ever.

"No." I lied and tried to move away from him but I ended up tripping .

"You sure?"he tilted his head to the side and smiled wickedly and the next thing I know he is holding the damn squishmallow and raising it up high on his hand so I wouldn't reach it .

I jumped trying to snatch it from him but I was too drunk and kept stumbling so I just gave up and just sat down flat on the floor with my hands covering my face .I just let it happen

This is the night I die of embarrassment.

RIP Aria Avila.

To my mother I leave my shoes and to my best friend Clarissa Carver I leave all my clothes and makeup.

"Ari?"Eddie's voice gets me out of my head .

"yes."I said softly. I opened my fingers that where covering my eyes to see where Eddie was.

And to my surprise He was sitting down in front of me criss cross looking at me with that stupid smirk .

"There she is ,"he smiles. "Yes , here I am Eddie dying of embarrassment.I couldn't even look at him right now. I felt o stupid and embarrassed. That was the weirdest thing I ever did and he saw it.

"Don't look at me ,"i blushed closing the gap between my fingers

"Hey don't hide from me ,it was cute you dancing around ."he coo,

How was that cute ? i thought to myself

I slowly lowered my hands from my face to face reality.I look at Eddie who had my stuffed animal in his hand but it didn't have the picture the tape was there but not the picture .I stood up fast from the floor looking around frantically for the picture that was just tape on the damn stuffed animal.

"What are you looking for?"Eddie asked standing right next to me,

I didn't answer and got on my knees and started crawling looking under the sofa.

"I mean i don't mind the view sweetheart ."Eddie chuckled and I turned to look at him holding the picture of himself in his hand"where you looking for this?"that asshole had the picture all this time and he didn't tell me while i was looking for it like a crazy person.

"Yes' 'i gulp.i don't know if it was because i was caught kissing a stuffed animal with a picture of the guy i'm crushing on the guy being eddie and he saw everything or the alcohol because my stomach wasn't feeling too good right now.

I felt all the food from the morning coming right back up mixed with the alcohol and that wasn’t a good sign so I ran to the restroom emptying my stomach into the toilet.Jesus Christ how I hate throwing up. I hate it so much. I hate the smell. I hate the way my stomach feels when I'm throwing up. I hate everything about it.

I should have eaten first before drinking all that bottle.

I'm never drinking again.

I don't know if that's true but I'll believe myself for today.

Just for today .

"Here drink."i heard Eddie’s voice from behind me

"Eddie don't look at me i look disgusting."i also smell disgusting.I look disgusting.Drool falling down my lips mix with my vomit .

Jesus, I am in a bad state. I need to get a hold of myself .

I got up slowly, Feeling a little

Bit dizzy maybe not just a little but a lot the whole room was spinning so I close my eyes and walk blindly over to the sink which wasn’t a far distance for.But for me it still felt like I had walk miles I started by washing my mouth in the sink.I open my eyes to take a peak of myself and Eddie was gone,but he had left a bottle of water on the counter. He was getting so much better at picking things up and it scared me.It really scared me so fucking much .

I drank the whole bottle of water and decided to shower hoping I felt so much better.Walking over to the shower was the hardest thing I’ve ever done after failing attempts to walk I crawled over until I reached the glass door and open it enough so I could go in.I reach over to turn on the water making sure it was the right temperature.I don’t know how I did it had my eyes close doing everything blindly I took of my clothes tossing it out.i got up slowly to fix the water temperature but failed miserably and somehow the water started getting to a warm temperature that wasn’t too hot nor to cold and I know who might have done that but my head was spinning so much to open my eyes .

“Thank you Eddie .” I said softly

“I’ll be waiting for you outside Ari .” Was the last thing I heard before I fell asleep on the floor of the shower .

I don’t know how long I’ve been sleeping in the shower floor but I was rudely awoken By Eddie screaming in my ear .

“Eddie .” I whisper I open one eye to see him standing over me trying his best to pick me up .

“I’m sorry I swear I didn’t want to see but you took a long time and I came to check on you and you were on the floor .” I heard him say but I was too drunk to care right now that I was naked curled up in a ball on the shower floor .

Somehow I managed to get out of the shower and dried myself up and wrapped the towel around my body and headed upstairs to sleep.My eyes where Half open but I knew Eddie was following making sure I was ok .When I reached upstairs I took off my towel tossing it to the ground I had totally about Eddie being on back of me until I heard him gasp "Jesus Christ!!" right now i didn't care. I had a massive headache and I know tomorrow I’m going to regret it so i got in my bed completely naked and got under the covers closing my eyes .

“Goodnight Eddie .” I remember saying

"You're gonna be the death of me."I heard Eddie say before drifting to sleep....

Next chapter