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they matched each others freak. 42 injured. 7 dead. 12 missing.

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have i ever shown you guys my professor’s DNI list

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The moment you cite a source, it stops being "beef" and starts being "scholarly disagreement" which is beef for strange and the maidenless.

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Study for Nymphs Finding the Head of Orpheus by John William Waterhouse (1900)

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bbc's merlin was literally thee most show of all time they gave us a black actress playing guinevere, one of the greatest queerbaits of our time, katie mcgrath (sword), katie mcgrath (evil), blatant disregard for any sort of historical accuracy, a queer metaphor they publicly said "didn't mean anything", and then at the end they fucking killed king arthur. truly legendary.

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So recently I went camping with my sister and I had a Linguistic expirience.

We were in Yellowstone being excited about geothermal features and generally enjoying ourselves becuae turns out Late September is the best time to hit up the Colder national parks- the only other people there was a family with matching windbreakers speaking german with Swiss accents and the Park Ranger patrolling around to make sure we weren’t planning on skinny dipping or the other bonehaded things tourists do.

As we’re on the way back to the car we see a woman in Bright Red Pants in the parking lot looking both lost and near tears.  She sees us and practically sprints over to ask us

“Parlez-vous français?”

Now, my sister is fluent in spanish, ok at pourtugese and italian and even has a good chunk of Japanese under her belt.  “yo hablo español!”  She offers.  Then offers the other three languages.  Madame Red pants shakes her head at all of them.

I have a dubious grasp of English, but I know enough German to navigate a major metropolitan area if everyone is real patient and repeats things three times for me. “Sprechen Sie Deustch?” I try.

Madame Red Pants (I can see her husband in the car looking equally bewildered. I cannot see the color of his pants. I assume they are equally Rhodacious.) looks crestfallen but tries anyway.  She takes out the park map and indicates the Norris Junction, while speaking French faster than I understand English, but it’s apparent she doesn’t know where she is currently, and needs to get to Norris Junction.

We know where she is and how to get to Norris but can’t convey this via pointing at the map and waving our arms. I feel genuinely bad, and she looks near tears with frustration. 

Then I remember. The matching Swiss Family.

I jog back into the geyser complex and find them excitedly taking pictures of a chipmunk while the Ranger watches them suspiciously from behind a pine tree.  

“Sprechen Sie Französisch?” I ask, and they collectively turn towards me, freeing the chipmunk from thier gaze as it sprints off into the underbrush.

“Ja, bitte.” Says thier Matriarch and leader.

“Eine Frau is Veeeeerlos- no, Verloren! Kann Sie- aw crap what’s the word? Translate?”

“Oh, Ja!” Frau Windbreaker speaks Idiot Tourist too, apparently.  The Swiss collective follows me back to the parking lot and and Frau Windbreaker and Madame Red Pants have a very animated conversation in French that I understand exactly none of.  My sister, feeling left out, offers various memebers of the Swiss Collective trail mix.  some of them even take it. Frau Windbreaker turns to me.

“Wo ist Norris?” She asks, looking mildly embarassed.

I end up having to convey the directions to Norris in German, which Frau Windbreaker translates to French, hindered slightly by the fact that neither of these women know how to read a map, but eventually Madame Red Pants comprehends, thanks us profusely, gets in her car, and manages to turn the correct direction out of the parking lot.  Frau Windbreaker and I shake hands and all of us part ways with the feeling of a job well done.

Before my sister and I can get in the car, the Ranger appraoches us.

“Thanks for that. I’ve felt bad all summer that all I’ve been able to do is turn on google translate for people.”  he said, shyly.

At that moment my sister and I both realized that Madme Red Pants had both a GPS in her car and an Android phone in her hand.

Hopefully the next person to help her was more technologically literate or generally observant than we are.

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went to the nurse and i was like i need a period product. and they go. we are in the male ward. and I'm like i have a uterus. and they process it so slowly and they're like. do. do. you want a yorkie bar. will this help with the gender dysphoria. and i'm like ...you know what. sure.

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"John Waters Is Ready for His Hollywood Closeup", The New Yorker

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I know I’ve spoken about it before but I think I have a form of face blindness that makes it impossible to tell apart conventionally “attractive” white men beyween the ages of 25 and 45 and it makes it really difficult to watch movies sometimes.

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my review of wicked: i'm not watching that

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The secret to a long lasting relationship is finding someone who hates leaving their comfort zone and then wiggle your way in there. You wiggle your way right inside their comfort zone and then you're there. By the time they notice you're there, they'll just sigh like "oh great, now there's a creature in here", but they don't want to move out of their comfort zone, and tossing you out of there would now alter the air pressure and constitution of the comfort zone too abruptly and it would pop like a bubble.

That's how you keep a relationship. You weasel your way inside someone's comfort zone and make yourself an essential component of it, so now they, too, will have to make sure that your dumb ass stays in there. Their comfort zone now has a fucking creature in it, and it's not going to be the same comfort zone if the creature isn't there.

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ok if u want like endless refreshing beverages that are basically free like, just buying a bit of mint and putting it in ice water is truly a game changer.  started doing this yesterday and i feel noticeably more hydrated altho its kinda chicken/egg because im probably drinking more water because it tastes better.  anyhow, i feel like this is a good thing to give guests if you are entertaining guests too.  

also this isn’t my house its an air bnb so don’t judge the decor i would def put floral wallpaper up if i had weird protruding things on my walls like this and i certainly wouldnt waste time and money framing a picture

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shit man tomorrow is christmas eve i swear yesterday was June 2010

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D&D is the Taylor Swift of TTRPGs by which I mean it's something with broad mainstream appeal and name recognition and also there are people out there who pretend it's gay

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i think the key difference between george lucas’s star wars and disney’s star wars is that lucas is a man with an ideology. someone with a point of view, and all that entails. which comes with ideas of revolution, anti-imperialism, challenging the status quo, cultural appropriation and racist stereotypes. complex and contradictory ideas because that’s how artists are: complex and complicated people. disney is not. disney is a corporation. a corporation can’t have ideology, because ideology defeats the purpose of profit. and when the only thing you do is to turn on the movie manufacturing machine before you sit down and plan what ideas are you trying to convey to the audience, then your results are going to be washed out corporate garbage. and because when you’re a giant corporation who only cares about selling to the widest audience possible, you can’t take sides. you can’t decide on an idea. because you want to sell your product to people who are on the entire political spectrum. which results in movies without ideology, without purpose, without soul.

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please elaborate on ghosts as pollution

If you leave a corpse in a river and it fucks up the river, that's pollution. If you leave a soul in a doll so it fucks up a house, that's pollution. Human waste product that requires proper ecological reintegration. Simple as.