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cirqosmos · 1 year ago

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Did I, A Side Character Became the Male Lead's Wife?!

2023 | 13+ | ONESHOT | YANG JUNGWON × READER | -> PART 2

SUMMARY you — a side character in a royal novel doing absolutely nothing but enjoy your rich ass yet boring life, only watching over the female lead and doing your job in protecting her, only for a pair of kittenish eyes to fall not upon the female lead but on you, unfortunately.

AUTHOR'S NOTE not me writing a whole ass oneshot at 5am bcs of that sweet ask from that one anon, imma name u serotonin dopamine anon lmao- and jungwon bae u r truly my muse.. also inspired by sum manhwas cuz I binge read 90+ chapters in less than a day 💀💀💀 plus happy 900+ followers for me <333 mom wake up I'm famous even tho I'll never let u know what my secret writing blog is about 😊😊

a side character, how cute?

well, you only came to know of this very horrible (not really) fact that you're nothing close to a main character's vibes cause look at you babe, where's the sparkling shiny starry dust on you as you walked through the red carpet at the ball?

and did they even spare a glance at you? unfortunately, nope. because the female lead, Liz; was your enemy, at least in how your character was written in the novel by the goddamn author which was you.

yes, that's right!

you, a hella introverted author dwelling in the deepest corner of her room doing nothing but spent an ungodly amount of hours creating the perfect and enchanting characters after crying for major character death of a fic a few years ago. wiping your dripping tears off your cheeks in a comical way as you pull open your laptop and risk your 20/20 vision for life, just so you can reverse the aching pain in your chest that you wore a thick ass glasses now.

Liz, the female lead. Swooning over her was your religion, throwing not one but a ten whole buckets explaining how perfect she was—or how tremendously kind she was, delicate and utterly sweet. patting yourself on the back for creating such a goddess of a character, so it's only wise for you to give her a fitting male lead, right? Okay we'll talk about that later since it's about you right now.

So how did you end up in your novel? Well, because of one fateful day of you doing absolutely nothing but taking a goddamn rest, and whoever the god in heaven that just randomly decided to throw you in the novel you wrote yourself—must be utterly insane. Perfect indeed!

it took you a humongous realisation to see yourself in a dark green puffy dress that represents jealousy, envy, and betrayal—which also represents the side character standing behind the female lead on the thick cover of your book. you've originally written her as that wicked best friend that uses her seductive way of speech to seduce men, and at last turning her back at the female lead by accusing her of a horrendous crime.

her fatal fate consists of her head being snapped by the guillotine, unfortunately. but for you, not really, cause you are so in for destroying wicked characters but jokes on you—you're now in the body of that character.

pfft, can't the gods put you in a character that lives near the sea, with your straw hat on and as you drank your lemon juice away from the public drama, angsty dialogues, cringe moments you yourself have created because you don't have atleast an ounce of social skills that's why you pour it all on your characters.

"oh my apologies, milady— pfft—" three ladies sticking with each other like a super glue, had thrown the glass of wine on the female lead's gown—earning a series of gasps from everyone who saw but you were sure won't pay an ounce of consideration towards her as you had written almost everyone in this novel as "the world against the weak, fragile character."

oh, right. the hyena laughters of those you describe in episode 3 of "the flashy ball"; the three evil sisters, because why not? they added the extra spices in your tongue to the point you couldn't wait for them to get slap by the female lead or possibly someone.

ah, the tremendous satisfaction.

and you were one of that person whose hands itching to smash their skull apart, you cringed enormously at them as they were the ones that brought total trouble wherever they went or whoever are unlucky enough to get in their way. unfortunately, you seal your female lead's fate with them as she need some little obstacles, doesn't she?

you as hell were not sure what you're supposed to do, whether to just let things happen as the story goes or you do the male lead's job in protecting the female lead cause you have no idea why is he taking such a long time to appear, when he should've made his grand entrance at the freaking introduction?

and you wrote it that way cause you got fed up with male leads making their first appearance at the ball, and somehow quickly gaining the female lead's heart like Cinderella cause dear lord where's the slow burn?

just say, you're a conservative grandma type of a mindset or that you are skeptical over love at first sight. yep, you're right. that's why you ain't gonna let your precious female lead get bullied in front of your very eyes. she's like your granddaughter right now, seriously.

a shriek echoed through the entire ball, gaining everyone's attention. "oh my god! my dress! you— lady Liz! who did you even brought with you?!"

oh right, you forgot it's your first time at the ball either. "my apologies, milady. it's just that i saw a bunch of hyenas roaming around.." you rubbed the back of your neck.

"hyenas?! guards—"

"chill, what's the commotion here?" a bright dashing blonde haired man in a red royal suit came around, with sets of stars dusting upon his form which you already realise to be part of the main characters but unfortunately you forgot. you ain't having that extra superhuman memory just because you are an author.

the bunch of hyenas before you reasoned with the prince, but you slowly realise that the prince was none other than Prince Jake. Inspired by that one puppy image idol from fourth generation of kpop, you were apparently slurping your noodles in the local restaurant when you watched him imitating a dog from the tv, causing you to choke on your noodles.

it's safe to say, he's hot enough that he had to be part of your main characters. aah, that signature dashing smile of his as he defended the female lead with his wisely chosen string of words which immediately melted everyone's heart at sight.

times like this you wish you were actually the female lead, but the logical side of you beg to differ; you are not emotionally capable of spewing cringy romantic words for that's only reserved for writing. So thank you, i'll pass.

Surely, Prince Jake ain't the male lead for your precious female lead but you just let them converse with each other despite her with her absolute kindness, urging you to talk with them too, atleast a word. it sort of felt for a moment like she was trying to match you with the prince.

like no please, you'd rather not to. hot guys are hot, but they're not worth the emotional investment past the fangirling section.

plus the prince doesn't seem interested you as he doesn't spare not even one look at you which obviously you couldn't care any less, you sneakily went out the ball after a series of mishaps—for example your heavy puffy ass gown with its sole purpose to only look pretty but the reality ain't that pretty to say the least, panting like a dog as you took each step towards the entrance all while cussing yourself for ignoring your logical part of brain that you shouldn't have been adding humongous useless words to describe the gown just to make it sound extremely pleasing to the readers.

now you're the one to bear the consequences of your own writing, the fuck.

"one! two!—" a long, long, depressing sigh echoes. "three! ah!—" consequently falling upon your face, what a perfect day indeed. you just wanted to go home, tuck yourself in your comforting blanket, eat your hot cup of ramen or indulge yourself in the sea of chocolate while daydreaming of your favourite idols and fictional characters.

not this awful disaster of you getting tangled in the courts' affairs.

"i suppose, you need help, milady?"

oh no, certainly not. don't call me milady, pretend i do not exist for i certainly do not have the social skills to pretend that i like you, or form a decent conversation especially with men.

"milady?"

you curled yourself, burying your head into the comfort of your gowns. wondering quite a bit of how odd you look in the middle of the hallway.

"milady?" his voice-like whisper came closer, obviously standing beside you right now. "are you okay?"

fuck it. "please, i beg of you to kindly leave me alone as my day has been utterly ruined and—" oh wait, he seems oddly familiar. those lush fluffy hair and kittenish orbs that only softens among those he were close enough.

prince jungwon.

oh! the male lead, oh my god! your jaw hang so low it fell on the ground, your eyes sparkled in dozens of star like universe as you took in his marvelous beauty that you had spent creating meticulously after studying all the '101 rules of how to create the perfect male lead that had the readers heart evaporating & a huge ass green forest that certainly would cause blazing flames'.

"oh my god! you look absolutely gorgeous, i've done it really well didn't i?! oh my god!"

"o-oh—! absolutely, you did well!" he immediately replied back, pressing his lips tight nervously.

wait what? what did he say? oh shit, oh well, covering your mouth instantly as you accidentally let it out before the prince, your precious male lead that you solely created for the female lead. "i—.."

the prince, your very precious character—obviously taken aback with a slight blush dusting of his adorable cheeks as he raise his fist up to his lips, coughing a couple of seconds. a personality trait you very well are familiar of cause that's how you wrote him when he fall in love with the female lead.

your eyes ogled out at that familiar sight, screaming at the back of your mind—wait, wait! you're not supposed to fall in love with me, you idiot! go back! go inside the ball, she's inside there!

"that's oddly brave of you, milady. i'd certainly go as far as to say that i've never seen such traits from a lady." kitten eyes softening at you, crouching down as he lend both of his hands for you. you raised your eyebrow confusingly at what is he trying to pull at but you realise he was intending to get you up.

"u-uhm? uh, sorry. i could get up on my own, actually." yeah, that's what you did. pushing yourself back up despite his protests because you ain't gonna let him fall any further for you, nah uh, not in this life, your mission is to get him and your female lead together inside the frames of birds holding flower wreaths as they went on to their happily ever after.

not with you!

"may i have the honour to know your name, though, milady?" why the fuck isn't he leaving, what is there so interesting in you that he is still standing here asking you such generic questions.

you shouldn't be having the characters attention on you as you obviously wrote it that way, and that even though your character in the novel had tried to get the prince's heart, despite resorting to foul actions, that he never truly had been attracted to her despite this characters' seductive aura.

for you squealed so loud at the scene you wrote, with jungwon putting her in her place. "you are not her, and you would never be her." along with the bunch of your readers hosting a flamboyant celebration under the comments, screaming over how loyal he was.

so what in the actual fuck is this?

"you don't need my name." you nonchalantly answered.

"my apologies?"

"you see, my best friend is in the ball—" you gestured your hands to the entrance of the ballroom, "and she needs your help more than i do."

"wait? why would she need my help?" his eyebrows knitted together in utter confusion as you pushed him through his back.

"of course, she do! don't ask anything!"

"wait!— my name is!" he forcefully turn to face you again, but you immediately covered his mouth with your hands—kabedonning him against the wall.

an excruciating silence occured between you two in the silent hallway, Jungwon freezing to his core when your other hand shoot beside his head.

"listen i don't need your name, dear sir." you emphasise each word, you certainly don't need to know his name nor his status as a prince, not wanting to risk any possible connection with him judging by how he acted before you just now.

"b-but!" his words were muffled into the void as you cupped his mouth tighter.

"shh, shh. stop talking and listen, will you?!"

jungwon nodded slowly, what an odd situation he was in right now, he thought. but somehow he likes it.

"so first step, is go inside the ballroom. second, look for the lady in pink gown, and third—"

"t-third?"

"third is tell her your name! my best friend needs it more than i do!" you release him from your grasp as you went to swing open the huge double door, "now go!" waving a goodbye before kicking his body through the entrance, pulling the door back with your entire strength despite his protests.

oh of course, you finally let out a gag after suppressing it in front of him the entire time as you've never had a proper conversation with a male without stuttering, somewhat a sad tragedy for you, unfortunately. you felt quite guilty about your readers who swoon over the romances you wrote between your leads, weeping over how you're so good at it—not knowing you're a complete introvert with only a gigantic ass dictionary with you.

finally, the male lead and female lead's romances are about to start! you squealed with your hands clasping as you went on your way to the carriage, gesturing for the rider to embark on the way to your heavenly puffy manor with the widest big grin ever that it had him questioning you, "has any gentleman had caught your heart, milady? a couple of hours ago, you were often beyond distraught to attend the ball but insisted when you heard Lady Liz was going."

"oh, you silly." you giggled as you swayed your hand, "of course, that's one of the reasons. but there's another one.."

"may i ask what is it, then?"

you leaned in closer, urging him to get closer as you whispered. "i got the chance to become a Cupid!"

"a Cupid?" you squealed before the old man, hopping like a child for quite awhile before flying into the carriage much to his surprise, but only shook his head in amusement—appalled by how his mistress had changed so much.

"so?" you couldn't help yourself from pulling out the widest eccentric grin at the female lead, extremely curious and ecstatic over what romances had bloom between her and Jungwon.

Liz raises her eyebrow in confusion, "so?.. what do you mean, milady?"

you shrugged, falling back to your seat as you raise your eyebrow in a comical way, "that.." whispering ever so seductively, "prince."

"p-prince?

"yes!" the teacup rattles at your excitement oozing so much that you tapped the table a couple of times. "what happen? what's the tea~"

she lets out a soft giggle, a bit amused by your excitement. "i have no idea what you're trying to imply, milady."

"wait? what are you saying? didn't the prince went to you last night?"

Liz shook her head slowly, her expressions clearly stating that she absolutely don't know what and who you were talking about as a smile pulled up on her lips once again, taking a few sip from her teacup.

veins popped out from your neck as it dawned on you, your head snapped towards the castle on top of the mountain, you stupid of a prince! you cussed at him endlessly at the back of your mind, tightening your fist as your ears and nose fuming in anger. how dare he? he didn't listen to you at all? what in the actual fuck? would this somehow divert the original route? a dozen question arise into your mind one after another, causing you to let out an exaggerated sigh.

facepalming yourself as you imagined the imaginary heavenly light on top of you, weeping to yourself about how tremendously unlucky you are to have a hard headed male lead. it's impossible, you have never added a trait so irritating like this in his profile so how could this happen?

"milady?" the gentle voice of your precious female lead pulled you out of your inner desperation, you leaned in closer, whining so much over how unlucky you were and such, the rest only being in your mind as you pouted.

"ah, i remember now, the prince—"

"WHAT?—" you immediately seated yourself after giving her a potential heart attack, "my apologies, what did you actually.. remember?"

"i assume you were talking about the prince from yesterday? prince jake?"

"no not that bitch— oh certainly not him, ehem.." you took a couple of exaggerated coughs, avoiding her evident confusion. "isn't there a prince.. name jungwon with you that night?"

"oh my goodness! right! prince jungwon!" she shook her head in disbelief with her finger on her head.

right, how did you even forgot that the female lead in front of you had a "weak ass memory" in her profile description. tsk tsk, truly a forgetful author you are. you should be trying your best to remember the things you wrote before and revise it as best as you can, to avoid any possible problems in the future, atleast.

"right, how did i even forget, the prince asked me for your name, milady—"

"huh?" you look at her with confusion, as you were out of reality a couple of seconds ago. your orbs terribly widened as her words slowly sinking in to your brain. "HUH?"

ask your name?! why your name, why not hers?! what did the prince ate that night before stumbling onto your way that he had to ask for your name before the female lead—his own lover?!

laughing awkwardly, you raise your leg on top of another as you nervously swayed your hands repeatedly. "oh dear, oh dear. you might have heard it wrong, the prince?—" snorting outloud as you gestured to yourself, "asking for my name? what a funny news!"

"i didn't, milady. the prince came to me and asked me for your name, as he was immensely curious of who you are so i—"

"so what?—" you can't believe this, you really can't bring yourself to believe any words she was uttering. you should have been bestowed by the news that the prince had taken an interest in her, a hand in marriage, or anything, anything as long as you're out of the picture! "y-you didn't tell him my name, d-didn't you?"

"of course, i did!" exclaimed she did with the widest grin ever.

why are you so freaking happy over this?! clasping your head in your hands as you tragically fall on your knees causing the lady to gasp in shock, ushering to your side to get you up.

"milady?! what's wrong?"

"d-dear," you pouted as you look up to her, "you didn't tell him where my manor's at, r-right?"

she simply replied, "i did? the prince informed me that he's going to send a letter for you to be his partner to the ball."

an imaginary arrow struck back to your heart, forming a humongous hole that threatens to give you a panic attack. what? what in the actual fuck? did you accidentally did something to divert the original story you yourself created? but you didn't even do anything! you tried to do your best to keep the interaction with him as short as possible and he dared to take an interest in you?!

"milady, a letter from the royal palace had arrived for you."

"discard it. throw it. keep it away from my sight."

"milady?!" Liz and the head of the maid exclaimed in utter shock at your nonchalant answer.

"forget about it, forget about it." you clasped your forehead in utter disappointment, yet your brain were creating another plan b for this unexpected turn of events. what should you do? even more so, what would you do now that the prince had asked for you to be by his side to the ballroom?

this won't do, you won't let this happen—you had to look as unattractive and ugly as possible for him to cringe on and finally divert his attention back to the rightfully person who deserved it; the female lead.

your maids could only fall apart every single time you pluck out the enchanting gems they attached on your hair, ears and wrists. their efforts deemed futile as always as you had no mood for any sort of events, it was like a slap to their face as you initially weren't like this. you overheard them that they couldn't get used to how you were adamant in staying behind the spotlight as you often did your very best in dressing yourself up before, with the sole intention of gaining the favour of men and even more better, a prince.

of course, they are totally oblivious to your real identity. only a series of jaw gaping one after another with your change of character, at first—you had a dilemma over whether you should act like the character you created but you later scrap the idea as soon as the anxiety of being engulfed in the crowd suffocated your chest. opting to avoid as many as balls or public events as possible, but that obviously didn't work out that well since you heard of the female lead's arrival from the country side—just like you intended it to be.

and being the proud mother (writer) you are, of course why wouldn't you take one single look at her and see of how far she had came? but alas, one interaction leads to another one and so on—till finally, you became her best friend throughout her entire journey. waiting for the male lead's arrival, and watch their romances blooming and per se—but oh well, look at the situation you were in right now; total disaster.

you truly despise being in such an extravagant puffy gown and the numerous accessories hugging your skin, it's tremendously uncomfortable that you wanted to rip it off part in front of the prince standing before you right now, and right here.

asking for your hand to dance with that odd kittenish smile, that you swore you had never ever written in his personality profile; he should never have been this casual and chill over a person he had just met. he should've been cold as fuck, icy to touch, and a spiralling disaster if you dare to talk to him, so why?

plus how could he have taken an interest in you? you couldn't possibly have added a dose of the love at first sight trope, didn't you? you despised that trope to your very core.

"milady? may i?" he extended his hand before you, patiently waiting for your answer.

you had decided that you're going to reject him quick and efficient—just like the local fast food restaurant your mouth kept drooling over for, smashing a five star review for their inhuman speedy delivery.

"you see, prince jungwon. i have no desire to have a connection with you, a relationship, as a matter of fact."

he raised his eyebrow, seemingly unfazed by your bold words. "i'm curious milady, why so? have i done something that perhaps had annoyed you?"

cliché question, you loathe that. "what if i said you did?"

"then tell me, milady. i'll try my hardest to own up to you—" he took a steps forward, which causes you to immediately step back as well with a frown on your face. you can't, not in this life, to even give him a single chance to get close to you. nah uh.

"no need, and stay one meter apart, please." you pointed your index finger towards the floor and he hesitated, but complied immediately.

"i." you raise your index finger back to yourself and then at him, "don't like you. do you understand?"

"b-but?"

"stop questioning me, prince jungwon." you stayed firm in your spot, "i believe it's a common decency to step back when a lady had voiced out her opinion, a prince like you certainly would understand, am i right?"

Jungwon was clearly taken aback, the fact that you didn't give him a single chance to utter a word nor take a step closer was a hard punch to his face. It feels as if he was trying to reach for you, but you efficiently dodged it with ease. It kind of.. annoys him.

"base on how you didn't say anything anymore, i assumed we're done here! well then, goodbye prince jungwon." you turned your heels towards the entrance, not bothering to waste any time at this goddamn ball. "i hope this will be the very last." you scoffed inside your mind, eager for the story to return to it's original route, and that the prince would soon deem you useless and such—returning to the female lead's arms.

hm, now where's your precious female lead? she should've appeared right now and right here, strike the pot while it's hot!

"i'm afraid i can't back down that easily, milady." jungwon took a few steps forward, wrapping his hand round your wrist as he spun you around to face his eyes filled with blazing determination. one that you specifically added on top of his profile so that your readers would kept it in mind.

your breath hitched down your throat as you remembered there's only two reasons he could have this; one that reminds you when he was at war, shouting at the top of his voice to encourage his soldiers as they push through the enemies, and another reason of it appearing is when he have to get what he wanted, or else all hell will break loose, chaos will ensue.

right, you're truly an idiot. staying a few years in this novel without any memories, and only for it to surface back when you stumble upon the library—dozens of books flickering a series of eccentric images in your mind. It had cause you to lose all memories of important details, only emerging everytime you are presented with a situation you couldn't comprehend. such as when you forgot that the female lead had memory problems and such.

"i'll only present this choices to you, milady. since you tremendously intrigued me over how well spoken you were and fascinating indeed—" bitch, you don't even know how you had the sudden ability to confront him but you were just sure as hell that you don't want to ruin your own novel. no fucking way.

you can't let him have the upper hand on you.

"let me go." irritated to your core, you tried untangle Jungwon's tight grasp on your wrist but he won't budge even an inch which only had you fuming in anger. "i said let me go, bitch!"

the crowd emits a series of gasps and murmurs as you spun around—twisting the prince's arms which had him yelping in pain, and ultimately pinning him onto the ground. with rage consuming you that nothing was going in your way, you slammed your hands on the both side of his head. clenching your jaw and gritting your teeth as you emphasised each word. "you are one a dumb hell of a bitch, when i said i do not want to see you anymore. i mean it. so—"

"so what?" his smug look resurfaces, one that emerges whenever he was being challenged. yes, do that! he should despise you, not take an interest in you! he should loathe you so much that he can't even gaze at you for a second. excitement surged through your veins as you open your mouth, preparing for the last blow.

"so, get lost. just because you're a prince doesn't mean every girl would fall for you, idiot."

an even more louder gasp emits from the crowd as they clearly heard what you said, their jaw gaping and some covering their mouths with their hands as their mind are now bombarded with random questions over how exceedingly brave you are to insult the royal prince, and of what fate will you met now that you've done such an atrocious act.

a low giggle sent shivers down your spine, and goosebumps to riled over your neck as you realise the prince under you had the widest smirk on his face. you frowned deeply, he shouldn't be smirking! he should be fuming in anger and throwing you out of the palace at this moment. so why?!...

"oh milady, how truly fascinating you are." you let out a loud yelp when he grabbed both of your wrists, pulling you closer to his face—a dangerous close proximity against his fluttering eyelashes and lips that your breath caught up in your throat which causes your cheeks to heated up in embarrassment of what kind of position you two were in right now. "i like you, you would certainly be a perfect fit to be by my side."

"what?!" you exclaimed, jaws dropping and eyes about to pop out at his very words. "i don't want to be by your side—"

"a lady like you, i'm afraid to say, intrigues me very much..." Jungwon shots a kittenish wink right through your heart. "be my wife, milady. i'll show you how good I can be for you."

#「 talesofyuan 」 fics #did i. a side character became the male lead's wife?!#enha #enhypen #enhypen x reader #enha imagines #enha x reader #enhypen oneshots #enhypen scenarios #enha fanfic #enhypen x female reader #enha fluff #jungwon smut #enhypen fluff #enha smau #enhypen jungwon #yang jungwon

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missys-mansion-of-mistakes · 3 months ago

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August 22nd, 2024. Thursday.

🐬 Well, I woke up at 11pm. Usually I wake up at 3 or 4am so this was a big surprise. Starting to take after my pastry chef mother for sure.

🦈 It's 5am currently. I have two more hours until I need to leave to go grocery shopping. With my promotion to a better position (that somehow pays less), money is tight. I'm setting a $50 budget for food for each week. Gonna be a struggle.

👑 Things I've gotten done so far today:

Wrote a Slowly letter. Been procrastinating that.

Relaxed for an hour. SO necessary and I neglect self-care SO bad!

Completed all the homework for the week for school.

Drafted and submitted 3 different scholarship essays

Drafted 5 chapters of my book, Rot. Hoping to get it all drafted before August ends.

I'm hoping to deep-clean 3 areas of my room before I head to work today. It's gotten SO messy in here and it's honestly overwhelming. Something needs to change!

What have been your biggest goals lately? How are you breaking it down into bite-sized pieces?

Talk more soon!

#studyblr #my journal #academia #my photos #missys mistakes #scholarships

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bizlybebo · 9 months ago

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Because its on my mind Im sending this as a "Ramble about it here when you get to X episode" ask. When you finish the episodes titled black, white and grey please rant about them here. They are great and I want to see your opinions

hahaha. hi endy.

the staring at the wall evolved into falling asleep and randomly waking up at 4am, still processing these episodes.

i wrote down. some of my thoughts now having experienced the full thing and got kind of carried away with um. 1.4k words of rambling :3

it’s not even all i want to say but i. ough. fuck these episodes were so good but so. auugggh.

it’s like 5am now im posting this and gonna try to go back to sleep but. holy fucking SHIT when i get you bizly.

(i don’t at all expect you to read this behemoth of a ramble!! just. need to put this somewhere as well because my brain’s still exploding after these episodes)

When season two started I thought it marked a lot of stuff for, y’know, how the show was gonna get darker. I mean, episode one, people were getting killed by a chaos demon in that prison.

I was entirely expecting all the ugly, gory bits of season two to be… external shit. Stuff that other guys, the actual antagonists, did.

But William felt pressured in Black. And suddenly it sets off this chain reaction, and suddenly one of our protagonists is no longer doing heroic things. Suddenly William is effectively torturing a guy psychologically in an attempt to save thousands more with David’s medical research.

He fell into the crux of a lot of villains: “It’s for the greater good”.

There was no going back after he stabbed Tide with the syringe. Tide, who never even had his guard up around William because despite everything, he trusted him and had immeasurable faith in his boys.

White is probably my favorite and least favorite episode, simultaneously, to ever come out of jrwi. The emotional, symbolic, and hell, even cinematic effect it has is insane.

I could fucking scream forever about Willian’s actions in White. About Vyncent’s inactions and the way he was torn about everything— about the fact that in season one, Vyncent was the “violent” one.

But Mark and Dakota fucking hit me in the heart to an insane amount.

Dakota. MOTHERFUCKING. Cole.

I said this before, but:

It’s the fact that Dakota still has optimism. He still has hope, at the very least, that Mark can change; turn over a new leaf for his kid.

“I think he should turn over a new leaf, like, with a new hero name, like— Soundwave, or something.”

He still thinks, or at least thought, that Mark can change. This was after he saw what he did to Lightspeed. He saw the worst of Mark’s actions but he still had faith and hope that there was a good person in there.

This shows so much fucking growth for Dakota’s character. The entire development of his morals, especially over season 2, is insane.

But Mark tries to kill Dakota. Several times.

He shoots at him, unleashes hundreds of bullets, and even tries to stab him. He couldn’t predict that Dakota would be incorporeal, and yeah, sure, you could say that he didn’t know Dakota forfeited his powers (and even without him he’s still significantly stronger than other kids his age). But even with his powers, Dakota would still have taken significant damage from the attacks.

Dakota and Mark’s rivalry is something I could pick apart and think about every little piece of forever.

They both have overwhelming love for Ashe, but it manifests in different ways.

Mark says it himself, “I am what I have to be.” He’s bringing home his kid by any means necessary. Ashe doesn’t have to like him, she just has to be safe and alive.

Dakota’s entire screaming match with Mark is engraved into my brain forever. It felt so real to witness, and the emotion in it was insane.

Dakota’s entire proclamation gets me. He’s so well spoken throughout despite shaking with how angry he is.

“I have been killing myself trying to train hard enough to save her.”

“If you were doing this for Ashe you wouldn’t do things that she’d hate you for.” But Mark is what he has to be.

Dakota never stands down. He keeps getting back up, and back up, and back. Up. Okehrjwjr I’m actually going to start crying thinking about this again.

When he was searching for Lightspeed and following Wavelength’s tracks, he kept asking himself: What would William do? Because he had faith in William’s decision making and investigation.

But at the very same time, William was wondering what Dakota would think about what he’s done.

And GOD don’t get me started on William and his brother.

In a sick, twisted way, I loved their dynamic. I loved what it meant for William narratively when David congratulated his work of defeating Xavier, even calling him “little brother” as a term of endearment. I was on the edge of my seat for their entire conversation in the meeting room.

David gave William his first drink, like older brothers do. William tortured a man because of his brother. David had apple juice sitting on hand because their mother told him to, just in case William ever showed up. William wanted apple juice. He killed somebody.

Cantrip’s been FUCKING me up. I couldn’t even write the word “death” after her name. It doesn’t feel real.

This can’t be the same show in which Jade was sitting on Xavier’s shoulders during mario kart, nonchalantly offering no help as he fought for his life to win like. Second place.

I mean, Jade was such a candid and real character. She was a teenager, just like the rest of the Prime Defenders, and she tried to take a turn for better things after leaving the fighting ring. She went from villainy to vigilantism, and sure, her morals were kind of skewed with how she seemed pretty okay with Alan killing the Bell Tech employees, but her motives were good, in a sense.

(“It’s all for the greater good”. It’s the same thing William was thinking, except William was directly dirtying his hands by torturing Xavier, while Cantrip was just accepting that Alan killed some people.)

I think there’s something to say for how William creates a vision of Cantrip out of smoke, distorting her into some monster, and how that’s the last time we see her image at all before learning of the fact that she’s. Gone.

The last time we see the real Jade, she’s just trying to escape. She doesn’t even talk, if I remember correctly. She just tries to get out. She gets shot in the arm but still persists.

And William ends up being the one who pulls the trigger; who injects the memory loss shit into her blood.

He’s the one who kills her, despite not knowing it at the time.

And David still masquerades as an innocent man, going as far as to relax at his apartment with him and William’s parents as though the events of the previous night never happened.

It fucks me up how the last words that Will and David exchanged before the confrontation in the apartment was:

“Don’t turn into a supervillain while I’m gone.”

“You either.”

William was starting to believe that David was a guy with awful methods, but good intentions— and William felt as though he was the same way. He saw himself becoming David, but David manipulated him into thinking that, hey, it’s awful, but at least he wouldn’t be… alone, I guess, in being a horrible person.

William and David finally saw eye to eye on the worst thing.

And David. Still. Lied.

Lied by omission.

And Jade was the one who took the fall for William’s actions. Jade, the girl who made fun of William for his crush on Vyncent. Jade, who had a sister she cared about, even if she scoffed about her love of heroes— despite the implication that their parents died because of them (likely caught in crossfire or casualties of battle). Jade, who painted her nails and placed bets on William kissing Vyncent, saying he’d be too pussy to do so. Jade, who found herself in a fucking fighting arena of all places but still found friends through it.

Jade, who was the first one to trust William with her actual name instead of Cantrip.

William, who killed her.

And. Fucking Christ.

Vyncent’s monologue at the end of episode 33 just. Fucks me up.

For the entire greyscale series, he finds himself suspended in inaction, too scared to do the right thing and too scared to stop the wrong thing.

But he finally faces it. He looks at William, certainly with fear after knowing all that he’s done, and even still, Vyncent dances around the morality of the subject. He accepts if William wants to flat-out lie to Dakota’s face about what happened at Bell Tech, though he does warn him of the significant damage it’ll do to their friendship.

And when William asks Vyncent to leave the room at the end of the episode, Vyncent finally takes a leap and becomes no longer caught by his indecision between apathy and guilt.

He looks at William, thinking he’s on the edge of something he won’t come back from, and he takes his hand, and pulls Wlliam back from the metaphorical cliff’s edge. If William does fall, then they’re falling together.

His entire proclamation, starting with “I’ve had so many opportunities to do the right thing”, fucking guts me.

God I’ve been typing for like. An hour now but the greyscale series really fucked me up holy shit.

tldr: AAAAUUUUIGGHHHHKEKGKKSKVMEMGOOCU:$)&2’ynkejvjk4&3&582$2!:$?82&;&/&(929@,@2&(&2&&?EVIL EVIL EVIL GOD IS DEADDDDJGKRMHKSKKKKLLEKCKSJGJKSICIWKFMSKGIWIIIAI&383&5&?&?@39(92@?&&/8:7;&,£,]*+\+<*]¥<**]+<+¥sfkwkfkkwjfkI HATE EVERYTHING AOUUGGGHHHHHH OUUUUUUEHEHRHRHRJKGHRHRHRRRRRRR

i am emotionally attached to this media a normal amount

#vixen rambles #vixen answers #jrwi pd #jrwi pd spoilers #jrwi spoilers #jrwi #analysis #< yeah you could say that

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bakumai · 10 months ago

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byler fanfic recs !

favorite of all time !

force of gravity - oceanfruit

literally the best fic i’ve ever read tbh. it’s got slow burn, angst, fluff, all the good stuff you know? idek how to describe the emotions i felt while reading this but it was an amazing experience. definitely my #1 byler fic recommendation 🫶

one shots !

i’d love to see me from your point of view - unidentifiedblackthorn

Mike and Will get high on Jonathan’s weed and Mike has an amazing idea.

you know me better than i do - unidentifiedblackthorn

Will can't avoid Mike forever, and they talk about what happened the day they got high together.

the right idea - candlelitheart

the basis for this fic is loosely inspired by the scene where jonathan and nancy get together in season two because i think it's one of the cutest scenes ever.

kiss it better - beansie

Mike and Will, through the years and in between the lines of friendship and something more.

magnetic pull - pressedviolets

Mike gets drunk at a party and kisses a boy. Will catches them together and is understandably confused.

sweeter than candy - smpshift

where Mike realizes he's head over heels for Will at 3 AM and mindlessly rides his bike across Hawkins just to tell him.

garden song - bafflingyew

Will is rooted to the ground, heart pounding. He wants this. He wants this so bad, but he needs to know that Mike is sure. He needs to know that he’s serious. He needs to know.

home is where the heart is - snoosnoom (moonsooms)

Living in a shared apartment with Will is all Mike could ask for, except for the part where he keeps thinking about kissing Will in the middle of their kitchen.

what do you do now, will the wise? - rainbownixie

The party is playing D&D together and Mike, as the dungeon master, won’t stop trying to make the Paladin and the Cleric flirt. He’s basically making moves on Will through the game. Will is caught off guard by this, and doesn’t know how to respond to the following question:

What do you do now, Will the Wise?

Everything comes down to a simple roll of dice.

the wooing of will byers (and other mishaps) - softzombieboy

With El still in confinement and Dustin increasingly preoccupied the remaining four members group together. Lucas and Max are inescapably a couple now, which makes it a little awkward for Mike and Will as they are unintentionally tagging along on dates. It is especially uncomfortable because Mike keeps insisting that he and Will do the same romantic things as their friends.

a little of that human touch - poetic patron

Will wakes up from a nightmare and Mike helps in the best way he knows how: Cuddles. Which would be fine, except for the fact he's been trying to hide his feelings for his best friend since the moment he touched down in California.

are you happy? - twistedrocketpower

Hopper doesn't care that Will is gay. He doesn't care that Will is in a relationship with a boy. He only cares that the boy is Mike Wheeler, the bane of his existence. He wants to make sure Will knows what he's doing, so he has a little chat with his stepson.

a three step plan to make will byers fall in love - romeowrites

The party concocts a three-step plan to get Will Byers to fall in love assuming, of course, that he hasn’t already.

busy tone - spaceeggscreams

Mike calls Will after a bad day, hoping to get through to his best friend after he's moved away. Instead, he's confronted with a busy tone. He talks anyway.

defensive positions - on_the_rook_cliff

Will and Mike end up cornered and Will becomes protective while Mike becomes flustered.

yes this is a byler fic but i wrote it at 5am and couldn’t think of a title - lillajoba

Just two bros being totally platonic in a motel room.

dance where the rain won’t hurt us - venusperia

mike wheeler doesn't love art — he just loves will byers.

four lessons about you - lia (liastories)

A collection of four times where Mike discovered new methods to make Will feel safe in his company, including how his ‘Will voice’ was born.

are you still mine? - shoto_scribbles

How music brings Mike and Will closer than any trauma could.

more than anyone else - idkilike5sos

An imagining of what would've happened if Will had been at home when Mike and Lucas went to apologise after the fight in season 3.

i want to dance with somebody (somebody who loves me) - beanwithaq

It's the S2 snowball but everyone is actually gay. Including the girl who Will is dancing with and Jennifer Hayes. Who really wanted to dance with that girl

birds of a feather flock together - bundibird

"You know," Robin tells Mike, her voice low and calm and soothing. "You can like both girls and boys."

Steve jerks in his seat like someone slapped him.

"What!?" he splutters, and it comes out as something halfway between a yelp and a squawk.

I Never Find Out 'Til I'm Head Over Heels - orphan_account

Wherein Mike believes he’s being obvious, Will doesn’t know what he believes, and the pair of them could use a lesson or two in effective communication. Somehow all of this has both nothing and everything to do with five years' worth of school dances.

eyecatcher - smoosnoom (moonsooms)

While volunteering at the Hawkins' help center, it seems like every girl around has a newfound interest in Will Byers, and Mike doesn't know why he feels the way he does.

you had me for a minute there - delusionaltogether (Whyyyyy)

senior year in hawkins

sealed with a kiss - astrobi

Listen. No one should ever let Mike make decisions right after he wakes up from a nap, okay? Especially not decisions where Will is concerned. This is so not his fault.

Follow Your Heart 'Til it Bleeds - teej_318

Will and Richie spend the summer bonding over their feelings for their friends Mike and Eddie. Robin gives them some much-needed advice when they hang out at Scoops Ahoy.

you got a fast car - castlebyer

it's spring of 1989, will and mike are young and in love. loosely based on how the song fast car by tracy chapman makes me feel minus the sad ending bc who wants that ?

Down to the Heart - disaster_energy

Mike doesn’t actually think Jonathan’s doing it on purpose, but he's starting to have his doubts.

Or, 5 times Jonathan shatters the moment and one time he doesn't.

dance with me (I think I really like you) - borealisaurora

Mike feels sad after coming back to his dorm from a party, and he reveals to his roommate Will that he’s never danced with anyone before. Will decides to change that :)

(College AU set in the 80s!)

Sober Thoughts - idk_ilike5sos

After an awkward game of spin the bottle at a party, Will takes Mike back to his place and receives a drunken confession about the game.

Walk of Shame - idk_ilike5sos

Mike wakes up in Will's bed, hungover after attending a party the night before. It's normal. Everything's fine... then he remembers.

make me your future history - andiwriteordie

A story of Will and Mike’s past, present, and plans for the future, told in seven parts.

What Are You Doing New Year's Eve? - BoNUKA5

It's the end of 1988, and Mike is determined to confess his feelings to his best friend, Will. He hatches a plan to confess on New Year's Eve, because what is more romantic than kissing on New Year's Eve?

that funny feeling - delusionaltogether (Whyyyyy)

"So you- you haven't, like. Kissed anyone, then?" Mike asks, fully aware that he should probably just quit while he's ahead but needing to know, suddenly, if Will has any sort of romantic entanglements that he's neglected to tell Mike about. He's not sure why, but there's something in his gut that demands to know, has some sort of sudden need to know if Will has kissed anyone that's not him.

If Will has kissed anyone that's not-

Wait, what?

or: Mike is jealous of himself.

you in my heart - soukeye

It was sundown. Mike finally had the courage to look at Will straight in the face, witnessing up close the rosy blush on his cheeks and his long eyelashes. Mike Wheeler is so lucky to have a best friend like Will Byers. So lucky it made his heart hurt. Is this normal? Is this what close friendship is like? Because never did he feel so much with Lucas and Dustin, his heart practically palpitating with the only thoughts clouding his mind being the boy staring at him so affectionately.

undertow - beansie

Will has never had his first kiss. Mike is happy to lend a hand.

in progress !

why would you ever kiss me? - aghostlybreath

When Eleven saves Will from Vecna she gets more than she bargained for when they wake up in the wrong bodies. Now to prevent Vecna from infiltrating the mind of his most perfect host the two of them must pretend to be the other.

i think we have a lot in common - teddythebear

Eddie Munson Adopts Will Byers because Gay Found Family is my favorite trope!

god, just kiss already! - californiasummer

5 times the Party watched Mike and Will uselessly pine after another + 1 time they did something about it.

as the world ends, i'll find my home in you - romeowrites

The end of the world was almost peaceful. And then the screaming started.

My version of Stranger Things 5.

a loserparty groupchat - heydorothea18

Mike refuses to tell Richie anything about his friends. Naturally, this is an issue because Richie feels the need to make his cousin's life torture. After a thorough Instagram stalking (with Bev's help), a group chat is created.

When It's Over - ikrannn

Mike Wheeler disappeared from his family's household in Minnesota due to a wolf attack two years ago. One year ago, he came back to them in Hawkins Indiana, where he met his Party and the Losers Club. Now, he hopes that he can survive the turmoils of high school and balance being inhuman on top of that.

OR, haha werewolf fic go BRRR

The Search is Over - ur_ur_ur_mom

Mike moves to Hawkins from Chicago and completely changes Will Byers life.

i'll be your quiet afternoon crush - heydorothea18

Mike hadn't planned on getting arrested on his last day of summer vacation, but at least the chief of police had a cute son.

In Max's mind, getting arrested wasn't that huge of a deal. Getting arrested alongside Mike Wheeler, however, was. And El- the chief of police's daughter- was the biggest deal of all.

Rock 'n' Roll - bylerisc4non

One fateful October night in 1995, Will Byers is dragged by his step-sister, Jane, and her best friend to a rock concert. That was just the beginning…

Or, it's the 90s, Will's in college, Mike's in a band, and there's some...tension.

The Webbing of my Heart - kindoffruityig

Will Byers was a normal 16-year-old living in New York. That was until he got bit by a radioactive spider which changed the trajectory of his mundane life. As Will experiments with his new powers, he finds that he can help people, and save them from the everyday crimes that happen around the city of New York. Juggling his superhero life and his normal life is no easy job so Will has to put his all into it. Through his adventures of being a superhero, he pushes away those that were once the closest to him and has to deal with the responsibility of keeping a whole city safe and also keeping up with his ever-growing pile of schoolwork. Will he be able to keep his identity secret? Can he fight off the dangers that are headed for New York City? The only way to find out is to read, so enjoy!

completed !

i hate accidents (except when we went from friends to this) - blackdeathmamba

five times Mike kissed Will, and one time Will kissed back.

A Box of Unsent Letters Under My Bed, All Addressed To You - adhd_bisexual_nonbeany

Mike Wheeler doesn't understand why he can't just put a stamp on the envelope and place the letters in the mailbox

ill add more as i read more ! if your fanfic is in here and you want it removed, just comment/dm me. :)

also keep in mind that if you reblog this, any updates i add after that won’t show up on your reblog. if you want to see if i added more fics just go to the original post !

last updated 12/30/22 (i swear imma update soon omfg 😨)

#reposting this from my old account so that i can update it soon!!#amai talks

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hollyhomburg · 2 years ago

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Okay so, i've always had these weird moments of creative lucidity after i work out- which makes sense because of like- increaded bloodflow to the brain. for context i don't really like writing at night, sometimes i wake up like at 5am or so just so i can get a few hours of writing in before i go to work at 9ish then usually when i get home at 4 i walk anywhere from 3-4.5 miles on my treadmill. with rest days once a week for context. i'm very scheduled about it.

but anyway since i was struggling with writers block- today and i've got off i kinda had the idea of- what if i did like- 20 minutes on the treadmill (or about one mile) and then see if it makes writing any more productive? maybe it will work

well...i just wrote 2k words in 40 minutes (i timed it)....so i think it's safe to say that works and i will be doing this from now on??? i've litterally DOUBLED the word count of chapter 54 (what will likely be split) in one day. this method DEFINITELY WORKS.

#i've written 6k today ;-;#the most i've ever written in one day was 18k #i think that was sandcastles?#idk its been a long time

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awaitingfall · 5 months ago

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07.14.24

Wasn’t planning on posting today, but I’m starting to feel a little anxious so maybe writing it out will help.

I feel like something’s been going on with my heart. It beats so fast and so hard at random times throughout the day. Well it might not be random because I feel like it happens after I eat certain foods like carbs, and then maybe after a long day of not being too active it starts to beat like that in the evening. Or also when I’m having bad stomach cramping, which happened this morning again. But also just walking up a flight of stairs. I live on the 3rd floor of my apartment building and I walk up and down them everyday, you’d think my body would get used to it by now? But I literally have to stop before the last flight and just chill for a few seconds before I finish. And it’s not like I’m incredibly out of shape or anything.

I’ve only noticed it get this bad in the past few months, but I’ve definitely had a faster heart rate almost all my adult life. I don’t really remember the POUNDING heart ever being an issue other than after I’ve done something super active. Part of me feels like it could be from my neighbor’s cigarette smoke getting into our apartment and breathing that in whenever we’re home. Most times when we come home it REAKS of cigarettes. All I want is to have my own space away from other people’s bullshit but I don’t have enough money for a down payment on a house 😭 Anyways, I really don’t know what else it could be from. Maybe my meds are starting to affect me, but I’ve been on the same ones for years now, nothing’s changed. Although, now that I think of it, I used to take my anxiety meds at night before bed until I realized that I would get a pounding heart when I was just laying in bed trying to fall asleep. So I looked it up and that is one of the side effects of the med…shit, maybe that has a lot to do with it since switching to taking it in the morning. Damn I would’ve never thought about that if I didn’t right all this out, SEE writing out my problems DOES help sometimes! 🥲 Regardless, I could probably work on my cardio to help strengthen my heart, but I feel like that’s not fully addressing the issue. I see my doctor at the end of the month and I’m going to ask her to refer me to a cardiologist so they can run tests. I’m only worried because my grandfather died from heart related issues, although he didn’t have those problems until he was older. I just want to be careful and take care of myself as best as possible, especially while I’m still young.

I’m sure my anxiety doesn’t help with the rapid heart rate. I’m sure it just makes it worse once I start worrying about it.

I really want to be off of all of my meds. I feel like starting birth control is the reason I began having thyroid issues and made my anxiety worse. But I’ve been on birth control for 10 years now and I’m scared of how my body is going to react to stopping it 😰 If anyone has had any experience with stopping birth control can you comment or send me a message about how that went (would be even better if it was the Kariva brand). I feel like I hear so much negative stuff and I’m worried if I stop it it’s going to uproot my entire life. I did have fairly painful periods before BC and my job is very active, I feel like I’d have to ask off at least 3 days/month just to rest, but I’m also the fucking anchor holding everything down at my job and the only one who can work the press so no actual orders would get done for 3 days and my boss would not be about that 😭

Idk, just a lot to overthink about. But hopefully since I wrote it out here it won’t keep me up all night and I can have a peaceful sleep 😌

I’m just going to start fresh tomorrow. Wake up at 5am, start with a guided meditation sitting up in bed, drink some water and take my meds, then go upstairs and get a nice well-rounded workout in. My breakfast will be scrambled eggs with kimchi, spinach and feta cheese on some sourdough toast. Then I’ll prep my lunch and dinner which will both be plain Greek yogurt with some of that farm-fresh honey I just picked up today and a goji berry trail mix on top. And then I’ll spend the evening reading.

I just can’t let my boss stress me out tomorrow. The fact that he’s back in the shop for 2 months just makes me want to quit, but I know I’m stronger than that and can’t let a random human being affect my mental health like that. I shouldn’t let anything affect my mental health, unless it’s in a positive way 😤

#journal #diary entry #weightloss #exercise #diet #intermittent fast #health #healthy #goals #happy #happiness #calm #clean eating #inner peace #meditation #birth control

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luzuraaa · 2 years ago

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byler fanfic recs !

these are all of my byler fanfic recs :)

also, you may have seen this post on my old account @scrunklykou but i decided to just copy it to here so i could continue updating it. i am not copying them given that they are me lmao

favorite of all time !

force of gravity - oceanfruit

one shots !

i’d love to see me from your point of view - unidentifiedblackthorn

Mike and Will get high on Jonathan’s weed and Mike has an amazing idea.

you know me better than i do - unidentifiedblackthorn

Will can't avoid Mike forever, and they talk about what happened the day they got high together.

the right idea - candlelitheart

the basis for this fic is loosely inspired by the scene where jonathan and nancy get together in season two because i think it's one of the cutest scenes ever.

kiss it better - beansie

Mike and Will, through the years and in between the lines of friendship and something more.

magnetic pull - pressedviolets

Mike gets drunk at a party and kisses a boy. Will catches them together and is understandably confused.

sweeter than candy - smpshift

where Mike realizes he's head over heels for Will at 3 AM and mindlessly rides his bike across Hawkins just to tell him.

garden song - bafflingyew

Will is rooted to the ground, heart pounding. He wants this. He wants this so bad, but he needs to know that Mike is sure. He needs to know that he’s serious. He needs to know.

home is where the heart is - snoosnoom (moonsooms)

Living in a shared apartment with Will is all Mike could ask for, except for the part where he keeps thinking about kissing Will in the middle of their kitchen.

what do you do now, will the wise? - rainbownixie

What do you do now, Will the Wise?

Everything comes down to a simple roll of dice.

the wooing of will byers (and other mishaps) - softzombieboy

a little of that human touch - poetic patron

are you happy? - twistedrocketpower

a three step plan to make will byers fall in love - romeowrites

The party concocts a three-step plan to get Will Byers to fall in love assuming, of course, that he hasn’t already.

busy tone - spaceeggscreams

Mike calls Will after a bad day, hoping to get through to his best friend after he's moved away. Instead, he's confronted with a busy tone. He talks anyway.

defensive positions - on_the_rook_cliff

Will and Mike end up cornered and Will becomes protective while Mike becomes flustered.

yes this is a byler fic but i wrote it at 5am and couldn’t think of a title - lillajoba

Just two bros being totally platonic in a motel room.

dance where the rain won’t hurt us - venusperia

mike wheeler doesn't love art — he just loves will byers.

four lessons about you - lia (liastories)

A collection of four times where Mike discovered new methods to make Will feel safe in his company, including how his ‘Will voice’ was born.

are you still mine? - shoto_scribbles

How music brings Mike and Will closer than any trauma could.

more than anyone else - idkilike5sos

An imagining of what would've happened if Will had been at home when Mike and Lucas went to apologise after the fight in season 3.

i want to dance with somebody (somebody who loves me) - beanwithaq

It's the S2 snowball but everyone is actually gay. Including the girl who Will is dancing with and Jennifer Hayes. Who really wanted to dance with that girl

birds of a feather flock together - bundibird

"You know," Robin tells Mike, her voice low and calm and soothing. "You can like both girls and boys."

Steve jerks in his seat like someone slapped him.

"What!?" he splutters, and it comes out as something halfway between a yelp and a squawk.

I Never Find Out 'Til I'm Head Over Heels - orphan_account

eyecatcher - smoosnoom (moonsooms)

While volunteering at the Hawkins' help center, it seems like every girl around has a newfound interest in Will Byers, and Mike doesn't know why he feels the way he does.

you had me for a minute there - delusionaltogether (Whyyyyy)

senior year in hawkins

sealed with a kiss - astrobi

Listen. No one should ever let Mike make decisions right after he wakes up from a nap, okay? Especially not decisions where Will is concerned. This is so not his fault.

Follow Your Heart 'Til it Bleeds - teej_318

Will and Richie spend the summer bonding over their feelings for their friends Mike and Eddie. Robin gives them some much-needed advice when they hang out at Scoops Ahoy.

you got a fast car - castlebyer

it's spring of 1989, will and mike are young and in love. loosely based on how the song fast car by tracy chapman makes me feel minus the sad ending bc who wants that ?

Down to the Heart - disaster_energy

Mike doesn’t actually think Jonathan’s doing it on purpose, but he's starting to have his doubts.

Or, 5 times Jonathan shatters the moment and one time he doesn't.

dance with me (I think I really like you) - borealisaurora

Mike feels sad after coming back to his dorm from a party, and he reveals to his roommate Will that he’s never danced with anyone before. Will decides to change that :)

(College AU set in the 80s!)

Sober Thoughts - idk_ilike5sos

After an awkward game of spin the bottle at a party, Will takes Mike back to his place and receives a drunken confession about the game.

Walk of Shame - idk_ilike5sos

Mike wakes up in Will's bed, hungover after attending a party the night before. It's normal. Everything's fine... then he remembers.

make me your future history - andiwriteordie

A story of Will and Mike’s past, present, and plans for the future, told in seven parts.

What Are You Doing New Year's Eve? - BoNUKA5

that funny feeling - delusionaltogether (Whyyyyy)

If Will has kissed anyone that's not-

Wait, what?

or: Mike is jealous of himself.

you in my heart - soukeye

undertow - beansie

Will has never had his first kiss. Mike is happy to lend a hand.

I don't quite know what to say (but I'm here in your doorway) - mikeslawyer

Mike confesses to Will - then kisses him. They don't talk about it, but maybe they should.

he's gonna notice me (it's okay, we're the best of friends) - mikeslawyer

Will gets sick and tired of never knowing if someone has a crush on him, so he asks for advice. Why do all the signs point to Mike?

in progress !

why would you ever kiss me? - aghostlybreath

i think we have a lot in common - teddythebear

Eddie Munson Adopts Will Byers because Gay Found Family is my favorite trope!

god, just kiss already! - californiasummer

5 times the Party watched Mike and Will uselessly pine after another + 1 time they did something about it.

as the world ends, i'll find my home in you - romeowrites

The end of the world was almost peaceful. And then the screaming started.

My version of Stranger Things 5.

a loserparty groupchat <;3 - heydorothea18

When It's Over - ikrannn

OR, haha werewolf fic go BRRR

The Search is Over - ur_ur_ur_mom

Mike moves to Hawkins from Chicago and completely changes Will Byers life.

i'll be your quiet afternoon crush - heydorothea18

Mike hadn't planned on getting arrested on his last day of summer vacation, but at least the chief of police had a cute son.

In Max's mind, getting arrested wasn't that huge of a deal. Getting arrested alongside Mike Wheeler, however, was. And El- the chief of police's daughter- was the biggest deal of all.

Rock 'n' Roll - bylerisc4non

One fateful October night in 1995, Will Byers is dragged by his step-sister, Jane, and her best friend to a rock concert. That was just the beginning…

Or, it's the 90s, Will's in college, Mike's in a band, and there's some...tension.

The Webbing of my Heart - kindoffruityig

completed !

i hate accidents (except when we went from friends to this) - blackdeathmamba

five times Mike kissed Will, and one time Will kissed back.

A Box of Unsent Letters Under My Bed, All Addressed To You - adhd_bisexual_nonbeany

Mike Wheeler doesn't understand why he can't just put a stamp on the envelope and place the letters in the mailbox

ill add more as i read more ! if your fanfic is in here and you want it removed, just comment/dm me. :)

also keep in mind that if you reblog this, any updates i add after that won’t show up on your reblog. if you want to see if i added more fics just go to the original post !

last updated 4/30

#byler #will byers #mike wheeler #stranger things #byler fanfic #🧺💐

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seiwas · 9 months ago

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Hi, Sel! I hope you're having a good Saturday so far. What was the first fandom you started writing fanfic for? <3 if you don't mind sharing

hi stephanie!! i am!!! i slept in for the first time after waking up at 5am everyday this week 🥹 i was supposed to go for a walk w a friend but by the time he woke up it was too hot so we cancelled HHASFHBAHS

one direction but we don't speak of that

i'm not sure of the very first one i started writing because they all kind of happened around the same time but: kuroko no basuke, katekyo hitman reborn, & fairy tail are one of the first ones i wrote for! just all for personal perusal. i made an oc for knb, and for khr and fairy tail i did ship fics!

my first x reader fic was non-anime, but if we're talking anime, it was probably bnha!! i have a really long outline for a shouto fic i will probs never fully write just bc i don't think it fits his character much now that i think about it HAHAH

#thanks for dropping by stephanie!! you are so sweet with these lil questions!#bad-as-the-boys #ask #rep

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sinkat-arts · 2 years ago

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It’s 5am and I can’t sleep… so, I wrote a Daisuga Drabble about… not being able to sleep. Completely unedited and tapped out on my phone, so apologies if it reads terribly.

—

3AM

Daisuga, sexytimes implied but not written out

Insomnia struck at the worst times. If you asked him, Daichi would deny being an insomniac - it wasn’t a daily, weekly, or even monthly occurrence. But every so often, there were some nights when all he could do was lie in bed in a quiet rage, furious that he wasn’t sleeping... which, of course, only made it worse. He couldn’t sleep, so he was angry, and he was angry, so he couldn’t sleep - the insomnia ouroboros, repeating into eternity. Or at least until it was time to get up and get ready for work.

Those nights had sucked when he lived alone, but now that he shared his bed, he was discovering that they were somehow worse. Tonight marked the first time insomnia reared its ugly head since he and Suga had decided to move in together, and it was like the sound of Suga’s measured breathing was taunting him. Somehow, the sound of someone he loved so dearly sleeping so peacefully next to him only added fuel to the fire. It wasn’t an entirely logical reaction, but logic was in short supply at 3:00 am on a weeknight. Especially when you needed to be awake in 4 hours.

It wasn’t for lack of trying that he couldn’t sleep, either. He’d cycled through so many strategies: white noise, rain sounds, meditation, hypnosis, melatonin, even those asmr recordings that Suga swore by but Daichi secretly thought were kind of creepy. Nothing really did the trick when his body, mind, or both just up and decided that he wasn’t sleeping that night. The best thing he could think of was simply to accept the situation. Instead of lying in bed angry at the world and becoming increasingly resentful of the fact that his boyfriend apparently came equipped with an off switch, he just gave in and decided to get up. There were plenty of things to be done - work to look over, books to read, something in the kitchen always needed cleaning - he could at least be productive.

Which was how Suga happened to find him on his hands and knees, wiping down the hallway baseboards at 3:30 am on a Monday morning.

“I can’t say that I hate the view… but I have to ask… what the heck?” Suga’s voice came from somewhere behind him.

“I’m… cleaning the baseboards?” Daichi answered, a little pinch of guilt for waking Suga up added itself to the heaping helping of embarrassment at being found doing something so damn weird in the middle of the night. He turned and saw Suga watching him, one hand on his hip and a look on his face that landed somewhere between puzzled and amused.

“Yes, dear, I can see that. But why? Did I miss the memo that said the emperor was stopping by for breakfast?”

“You didn’t get it?” Daichi asked, sitting back on his heels and giving Suga his best look of wide-eyed innocence. “7am sharp. You’re in charge of the table settings.”

“Then I guess we’re in trouble. Unless the emperor finds mismatched chopsticks quaint…”

“Afraid not. It’s a fine china affair… damn, at this rate we’ll be the shame of the whole country. Maybe even the world…”

Suga laughed. It never failed, even after all these years - the sound of Suga laughing always made Daichi’s heart thump… and when he was the cause of that laughter? There wasn’t anything better in the whole world… not even 8 hours of sleep.

“But seriously… why are you cleaning the baseboards, you big weirdo?”

“I can’t sleep,” Daichi answered, folding the cleaning rag neatly into a little square and setting it down beside him. “Figured I should get something done,” grinning, he shrugged, “You know, instead of lying there plotting your murder because you, my love, snore.”

In an instant, Suga’s face screwed up with indignation. “Don’t you ‘my love’ me - I do NOT snore!” Both hands were on his hips now. “And if you’re gonna murder me, at least do it for something less pedestrian. I deserve some scandal. If they don’t make a Netflix documentary about my death, what even is the point?”

“You know… you’ve got me there,” Daichi said, chuckling as he pulled himself to his feet. He took the few steps needed to stand in front of Suga and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. Still smiling, he pressed a kiss against his forehead. “You deserve the best four-part true crime miniseries money can buy.”

“Four-part minimum,” Suga sniffed. He looked thoughtful for a moment, and then that mischievous twinkle sparked in his eyes. He sidled in closer, both hands dropping to grip Daichi’s hips, pulling the two of them together so there was no space in between. Biting his lower lip, Suga looked up into Daichi’s eyes. “Maybe you just have a little too much energy. I could… help you burn some off, you know.”

“Mmm,” Daichi hummed. His voice was cast low… in spite of the long hours he’d been awake, having Suga this close, with his fingers pressing into his hips like that? He was feeling the first spark of heat. Suga had his attention - it didn’t take much, not from him. He lowered his head, cocking it a little for a better angle, but stopping just millimeters short of the kiss Suga was most definitely expecting. Daichi could feel the anticipation coming off of him. “I could go get another cleaning cloth, if you really wanted to help…”

“Shut up,” Suga breathed and crossed that millimeter gap to press their lips together.

An hour later, coated in a thin sheen of sweat and utterly spent, Daichi was back in bed, lying on his back with the love of his life slotted in next to him. Suga’s head rested on his chest, and Daichi pressed a kiss into sweat-damp hair as he listened to the sound of his breathing as it settled. His own breathing fell into rhythm naturally, and they rose and fell together.

He still couldn’t sleep. If anything, he was worse off than before, but… he couldn’t say he was still angry about it. How could he be mad when his heart was so full? The sun would rise soon, and their day would carry them apart to their separate destinations, but right now, this moment together in the dark, set to the sound of his sleeping lover’s breathing… it was peace and fulfillment and so much more love than he ever thought possible. It was everything.

Well worth one sleepless Sunday and a miserable Monday, he’d say.

#Daisuga #sawamura daichi #sugawara koushi #daichi #suga #haikyuu #haikyu #Drabble #what even is the accepted length of a Drabble #fanfiction #or just delete it because late night writing on the phone is probably bad

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whentherewerebicycles · 2 years ago

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oh i am powerfully grumpy today let me list the reasons why to break their hold over me! and then i will list the substantive good things that will counterbalance the grumpiness.

WHY AM I GRUMPY

didn’t sleep well and got up too early (this, as you will see, is probably the root of all other ills)

was pretty cranky with ruthie at 5am because she wouldn’t poop and wanted to just wander around outside & take a little walk instead. which fine but i was so tired and grumpy already haha. and then i always feel like a CRUEL MONSTER after i have spoken to her a bit sharply because she is a sweet little girl and sometimes you just don’t have to poop ok! also sometimes when i have been short with the dogs i am like oh great this is like a two-second glimpse of the lowest setting of sleep-deprived parenthood i bet i am going to handle that GREAT. (you can see here how i was already in that Mood where your crabbiness starts magnetizing all other free-floating crabbiness in the ether towards it)

got a little cranky on the phone with my mom because it felt like she was taking a liiiittle dig at me about the salary cut i’m taking (i don’t think she intentionally was i was just already kind of grumpy and sensitive)

i am experiencing some lowgrade anxiety about the HSG test tomorrow, partly because i have read that is going to be moderately painful and partly because i am worried it will reveal bigger problems

my lead just straight up stood me up for a meeting today lol... i was on the teams call for 10 min just waiting and then she didn’t respond to any of my messages so i hung up but can’t really wander away from my laptop in case she calls me back... i’ve been just kinda Over It for a while but man it is annoying when she does stuff like this. also lol she did the thing in a meeting yesterday where i offered to review this tiny inconsequential project real quick with my boss and my lead jumped in to be like “to make the best use of [boss]’s time, i think it’s best if i review the content first to ensure everything looks okay” which is code for “i am going to make one formatting change and then schedule a meeting with our boss without inviting you where i imply that your work was so shoddy i had to make MAJOR changes to salvage it.” i was just like sure girl. whatever. enjoy these last few days of getting to powertrip over me. you are so close to being in my rearview mirror forever.

i only have like 1-2 pointless work projects left before my last day (next friday) but they are so pointless and so hazily defined that working on them plunges me into a deep work despair spiral even though i am SO close to being done with this stupid job. i know i need to just pull myself together and finish them but wow. i hate this.

some IRL friend stuff is making me a little bit irritated and i just need to sit down for a minute at some point and decide if/how i want to react to it. it’s genuinely not a big deal it’s just one of those situations where there have been multiple small annoyances that are not exactly anyone’s fault but cumulatively just make me feel a little put-out. however i am aware that if i’d slept 2 more hours last night i might feel totally different about it so i am just bracketing it today.

phew okay. now WHAT ARE SOME OF THE GENUINELY GOOD & MEANINGFUL THINGS IN MY LIFE THAT ARE FILLING ME WITH A SENSE OF GRATITUDE THAT I GET TO BE ALIVE IN THIS WORLD IN THIS MOMENT?

i wrote for 3+ hours this morning and feel really intrigued by the project... not sure if i have a sense of where it’s going yet but it’s been quite a while since i’ve been in that headspace where you wake up and reach blearily for your phone right away because you’re just HUNGRY to review the writing you did the previous night & start working on the new draft. i am very, very much hoping that a change of job and scenery will jumpstart my creativity a bit... i think it’s just challenging to write when literally nothing is happening in your life. you have all this open unstructured time, which means you don’t value any of the time you have (because if you don’t write in THIS empty moment you can always put it off to the next empty moment!), and then you are just sitting at home not experiencing any social or intellectual stimuli so i feel like you don’t get that “lots of ideas sloshing around in my brain... new encounters triggering new ways of looking at or connecting them... back-burner brain stuff simmering while doing other activities” stuff going. ANYWAY this is all to say it feels good to be writing again & feeling excited about writing whether or not this one sticks. i am just happier when i am engaging in the practice of making things even if i am not finishing things.

part of why i started writing again is that i got two extremely long, detailed, thoughtful comments on my last story from another writer that just made me feel so, so good and creatively energized. all comments are soooo good/valued but i feel like there is something extra special about getting that kind of extremely detailed feedback from a talented writer who picks up on why you did certain things and has a very clear sense of the really, really time-intensive revision and redrafting work that goes into weaving multiple layers into a story. i read the comments yesterday and at first was happy but also kind of in a funk about it - like it was SO nice and affirming to receive them but i have also kind of built that story up in my mind to be the best/most fully realized thing i’ve ever written and can sometimes get down on myself feeling like i’ll never be able to top it or even repeat it. but then i read the comments several more times and started thinking about some of the specific scenes or choices the person was highlighting and just remembering how many times i patiently reworked not-great versions of those scenes to just steadily make them better and more effective. and i was just like okay listen. it just takes hard work and time. i have to put in the hard work. i have to invest the time. i have to give up the fantasy that the first version i write (or the second version or the tenth version) is going to be, or should be, perfect. i’m so proud of that polished final work but to get there i had to really keep the draft shitty and unfinished and patchworked-together and rough around the edges so that i could have the flexibility to rearrange things and torpedo what wasn’t working and generate new ideas through new combinations of rough material. so get over yourself and get to work, you idiot, or you really will never make anything again because you’ll have gotten wrapped up in some fantasy of doing things perfectly the very first time. ANYWAY it was a journey haha but those comments got me moving again and it really made me remember again how much i value being part of a creative community where you get to have that kind of engagement with other readers and writers.

i think it’s going to be a stupidly gorgeous day out! and then a stupidly gorgeous next week or two! soooo nice to have nice weather!! spring is here!!! i scrubbed down the deck last night before bed finally and am now just awaiting the delivery of the outdoor rug and side table.

i had a really, really good catch-up call yesterday afternoon with a former mentee i worked closely with for a few years in my last job. i thought she was probably reaching out to ask about a letter of rec or something but it turned out that she actually just wanted to tell me about how this project she started years ago with me has continued to grow/evolve and has led to these pretty major institutional changes around making caste a protected class at our university. she was just like, ‘i’ve been thinking about you so much all year because everything we’ve been doing is rooted in the research ethos you taught me in that program. and then it just occurred to me that instead of just thinking about you i could reach out to tell you about how much you shaped this work.’ it was just so good to hear from her and so amazing to hear about this stuff she and her co-organizers have been able to achieve in the last couple years!! it made me feel really good/happy (for her but also obviously it’s just nice when people say nice things about your teaching impact!) and i also feel like it kinda lit a fire under me a little bit... like this past year has been so isolating and i think one thing i’ve missed is the way that students’ passionate commitments push YOU to be more engaged in your own life/community and more awake in your own life. i feel like this student in particular always pushed me to be more honest you know... she’s one of those people who is continuously pursuing difficult, important work because she believes it’s the right thing to do and she knows she has the skillset to do it. so i just want to hold onto that feeling you know... like as i begin to become more involved in the life of a campus community again and more connected to students i just want to keep pushing myself out of this period of isolation and into the world to do meaningful work.

#teaching #personal

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pampinto · 3 days ago

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30 second typing test

I got a new keyboard and I need to test out touch typing so I have gone here.

I could have used notepad but I guess I did not.

I don't know what to type about and my wrists hurt, well they did beofore I have adjusted the tilt.

My life is going okay, I now live in a flat on my own, I work from home 3 days a week, 2 in the office. I go to sleep anywhere from 3-5am and wake up 8 at the earliest and 9 at the latest. I don't leave the house on weekends unless to go to the shop.

I play the Xbox and the PlayStation, depending on the mood of the day, I'd say it counts as a hobby but really its just filling time. Most the time I just watch crap on YouTube. I used to be in the fandom space I guess and I still watch along but I just can't give that much of a crap about fictional characters anymore, idk no shame if you can.

I smoke about 3 joints every night; sometimes more, rarely less. I sometimes forget to eat. I have so many clothes I don't wash or dry them even though its as easy as pushing a button, some of my favourite shit has gone un appreciated by the masses. Really makes you think huh.

I went to my first appointment at the GIC in September of this year in the hope to start on HRT in the coming year. They had concerns that I am socially isolated, that's probably true. I went away from the online communities when I went to uni, started going out a lot, doing drugs and just lazing around. I made a few friends, always the people I lived with, the messages always cease a few weeks after the move, maybe this one will be different, but I need to accept people arnt friends with me by choice but by circumstance. This is unfair, there are a few people still with me, they live far away, all over the gaf in fact but every now and again we all get together and travel to meet up. My friends all still care for me in the back of their mind (Okay not all of them) but they are living their own lives now

and I have been left behind. I never make an effort, not in the way I act speak or talk to anyone I am an arsehole through and through. I look rough smell rough and always feel rough (gee I wonder what the cause is) and I never make an effort to adjust this. Just fucking pop on the clothes at the top of the clean pile, hair back and fuck off. It takes me like 7 times meeting someone before I can speak to them and like when I meet people whom speaking to used to be easy it is like I am meeting them as strangers again.

I have been attending counselling for a year, and I never brought any of this up, I was so worried about having to fill the time I have just chatted absolute shit* to them rather than getting and asking for help with the emotional baggage of transitioning, feeling ashamed of yourself, your mother saying sorry for never accepting your gender 2 days before she died. fuck what am I doing and how the fuck can i post this. I love my mum a lot and she was very good to me in a lot of ways, I came out well into adulthood and when we were no longer living together, I don't want people thinking ill of her, she just didn't get it and looked in the wrong places to try to understand.

life is just relentless at the moment and I don't know how to make sense of it.

Anyone reading this far please know, I am la cucaracha okay, I'm resilent. You do not need to call a wellness check on me, I have already forgotten what I have wrote and so should you.

Also my Aunt died last week, and I keep forgetting.

*shit as in low tier chat not falsehoods.

#ignore this #can you believe I typed that all in 30 seconds #pamela

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thedaveandkimmershow · 1 year ago

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SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 10

With my first alarm having tripped at 330AM and our previous night having been lengthened by that healthy bit of Back to the Future 3, we couldn't have got more than four hours of sleep. If that.

Still, the reality of catching our flight brought us to immediate lucidity and we were out the door by 420.

The DoubleTree's not more than five minutes from Doug Fox Parking and, since the shuttle snaps us right up and delivers us to the terminal, we check our bags in by 445. That's fifteen minutes before our Spot Saver appointment that cuts us to the front of the TSA check point line. Unfortunately, Spot Saver actually starts service at 5AM and the person who's supposed to run it isn't there yet. Isn't there yet.

Isn't there yet.

So we bail and get through the TSA check point in less time than we were standing around waiting for Spot Saver to open.

Go figure.

We're through the check point by 515, boarded a little after 545, and by 6 I'm already starting to nod off again, spending this first leg of our flight somewhere between fully awake... and fully asleep.

We manage a quick change of flight in Denver then we're in the air again, reaching Orlando a touch after five in the afternoon. We spent that flight, by the way, studying (Kimmer) and reading (me).

From Orlando International Airport (MCO), we hitch a Lyft. Actually... no we don't. We summon a Lyft whose ETA keeps changing, stretching 7 minutes into 30. And when the app indicates our ride's arrived?

Yeah. We can't find it, subsequently getting a call from the driver that they're on the level above us (departures) and can't find the route down to us. At which point both the driver and I decide this was not meant to be and I summon an Uber instead that shows up five minutes later.

The Uber driver's from Haiti and, as with a number of drivers from countries currently undergoing or having undergone outright war or violent oppression, his story is at times a bitter pill. There's more to him that just the negative, of course. He has family that's here in the States right now. I think his dad's the only member of the family who's staying put because he's very much an I was born here, I'm gonna die here kind of human being.

By 'n by, we bid each other fare thee wells at Universal's Endless Summer Dockside Resort. We stayed here a couple nights last year, spending a day in Universal Studios theme park before heading off to immerse ourselves in Disney which, as it turns out, sort of cured us of Disney for awhile, so now its all Universal all the time for us for the foreseeable future.

Now, the line to check in's kinda long but there's a family with a baby in a stroller ahead of us so we amuse ourselves (and the baby) by waving and making faces. The baby has an older brother who also serves as entertainment and, before you know it, we're at the desk checking in.

We don't realize it until later when we open the door to our room that the super nice person who checked us in also upgraded us to a suite after handing us a pair of buttons to commemorate our 31st wedding anniversary. She even wrote out 31st Anniversary by hand with a Sharpie. And she recommended what she considers to be one of the best taco restaurants around because Kimmer mentioned her love of authentic Mexican food.

By the time we're squared away in our room, it's coming up on 8 which is pretty all right because we've had a long day and we choose to end it as if we were home: with an episode of Madame Secretary and continuing a Harry Potter movie. In this case it's the beginning of Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows Part 1 where they're all set to take off from Number 4 Privet Drive, attempting to confuse and avoid Death Eaters.

At some point in there... we fall asleep.

And then at some other point I wake up briefly, use the remote to turn off the TV, then fall back asleep again.

Thus endeth our first day in Orlando.

🙂

#wedding anniversary #celebration #vacation #orlando #universal #endless summer dockside #travel #air travel

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mydearestkippy · 1 year ago

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7 Sept 2023- 32w0d

Dear Kippy,

6-8 weeks more to go before I see you, our darling baby girl, in the flesh. I really cannot wait. Today, at around 1.8kg and 43cm, you are apparently the size of a small rock melon. Or a chihuahua.

It's been almost 26 weeks (~6.5 months!) since I last wrote in here. I wish I could have updated more regularly during these 6.5 months, but I guess I have been distracted / tired. I think there is a lot of getting used to in pregnancy, both the good (like official announcements, friends/family celebrating with us, finding out your gender after a loong wait, passing my gestational diabetes test, people giving up their seat for me on the train, etc) and the not-so-good (breathlessness, tailbone pain, itchiness around my belly button, emotional spikes, increasing fatigue, retching every time I brush my teeth since first tri, etc). Work and church, especially the latter, have also continued to take up quite a lot of mommy's time, energy and emotional/mental capacity.

During the same period, daddy has also been going through a mentally/physically difficult time, especially in being hard-pressed in every direction at work and having to take up the lead in life-group. He also does all the laundry now, although we have since hired a cleaner to come in every other week for 3 hours. For a while he wasn't able to exercise much because of persistent lower back pain, which makes him feel worse. Tired, heavy/heavy-hearted, stressed and unmotivated are some words to describe how he has felt during this time. I think it is a little better now because his back is recovering so he can exercise again, but there are days that the load can still feel quite heavy for him. Mommy wishes to do more for him, but perhaps taking good care of myself and you is the one thing he needs most from me now.

No matter how tiring things get, it is the thought of seeing you soon that keeps us going. It is the grace and love of Jesus, that we remind each other of, and which sustain us, daily. We have done up your room (I hope you will love it!) and procured most of what we need (pre-loved or brand new from friends which we are super thankful for), and we are now left with just the last minute perishables to cart out (diapers, diaper cream, wet wipes, sunflower lecithin, etc).

You, at week 13 going 14:

You, at week 21 going week 22 (the day we found out you were a girl!):

Your perfect 3D face at week 28:

During weeks 20 to 30 (mid second tri till first 2 weeks of third tri), mommy diverted her energy to baking/cooking. I really enjoyed using my kitchen/my oven this period. Now I can make a near perfect banana cake and jelly heart tarts, and my matcha / choc chip chewy cookies have also been a hit. You are in for a delicious treat (when you get older!)

From week 30 onwards though, mommy's energy levels suffered an exponential dip. I now average 10-12 hours of sleep a day (longer if I had exercised in the day), excluding hour-long naps that I take almost daily while WFH. There have also been some days where Kippy you get so active at 5am in the morning that after waking mommy up to pee, mommy could not go back to sleep after tossing and turning for an hour, in which case mommy has an early breakfast and does some baking/reading/work before she conks out again for another 2 hours before starting her day.

Mommy examines her changing body, which is a house for you, and wonders if it will ever be as before again. Sometimes mommy feels discouraged by the sight of her pregnancy-induced physical changes: facial blemishes, pale pallor, double chin, saggy/flabby body parts all over, thunder thighs, and swollen legs and feet. The weighing machine tells mommy that she has put on 8-10kg and mommy's clothes remind her that she is expanding exponentially. It used to be a tussle between S/M for clothes, but now I could be anything from M to XL. Mommy's friend commented that mommy is looking more like a "whale" now and mommy can't stop repeating this word to daddy - first as a joke, then as a... statement of belief?? I am a whale, I am a whale, I am a whale. Mommy isn't an irrational person by nature (I know most of these will pass), but in the thick of it, all of these can make me feel really negative about my body image. It is something that most ladies struggle with - the difference is just how much.

But God responds to mommy's cries. I saw a post by an ex-mentor lately on her own reflections re: her past pregnancy, and it resonated in such a timely manner. "I was looking at my body in the mirror today and thought: dear bod, you have done an amazing job. You've carried a baby and nourished it in you for 9mths, delivered it, and have continued to provide for it tirelessly, sacrificing sleep, making milk, staying strong so you can continue to give. And yet sometimes I look at you almost in disdain, picking on the areas where you don't look or feel too perfect. But how can you be the same after all that you've done? You're perfect and I'm thankful for you."

In the midst of all these changes I have been going through for 7+ months now, I remember that He is using my body as a vehicle - to carry out his perfect miracle of creation. He is giving me the privilege of experiencing, through a keenly lived 9 month journey, how he knits every bit of you together in my womb. If we read about the science of the changing pregnant body - how hormones dip and fall and how organs adapt and evolve - to perfectly cater to the growing needs of the foetus, we wouldn't be able to deny that a Miracle Maker has to be behind it all. How then can I not be humbled by his choice of a vessel in me? How then can I not be confident that only good things will come to pass as long as I trust in His timing, His seasons and His providence? How then can I not be assured by His love for you and His power over you?

Not to mention that pregnancy is merely the uncomfortable prelude to a greater eternal blessing to come - you.

I am thankful for all my dearest friends who have journeyed with me closely and pointed me towards God's kindness throughout these 9 months of pregnancy, my family who has tirelessly asked after and cared for me, and especially my husband who has always reminded me how beautiful I am to him, and how thankful he is to me for carrying his daughter to term. If pregnancy has been a trying time, then as with all trying times, it has revealed to me the people I can count on, even beyond this period. I can't wait for you to meet them soon. You will be so dearly loved and cherished by them.

Instead of wanting to fast-forward this journey in my usual impatience, I will savor and treasure the last 1+ months of you being in me. I will give thanks for every kick, every hiccup, every flutter, every stretch that I feel from you, because it means that you are healthy, active and well. And when you finally come, daddy and I will tell you just how wonderful life is now that you are in the world.

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aywelife4go · 1 year ago

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So.. i got sick of my IG account

It has been a while since i got some likes from somebody and the only ppl who give me those are my friends. And even that’s getting fewer.

I tried to come up with a reason.

1. Is it bc of lack of communication?

2. Is my drawing not a trend?

3. Is my drawing sucks?

[1] I don’t use my drawing account for communication bc i communicate with people on my daily life account and it feels so awkward when i try to write something down. Especially writing ‘long’. It’s like i wrote something on my diary in the midnight and feels so cringy when i look it again after i wake up. I don’t prefer writing down for that reason. And the main thing is that my drawing account ended up having only viewers that they know me in offline. I’m afraid of my problems or thoughts being disclosed to known people. Like.. you know. It might be heterogeneous to them that a gal that looked relaxed and humorous actually is having a rotten mind af. But this one looks pretty friendly to write and since no one watches, i might be able to write some freely.

[2] When i looked around to my friends’ drawing accounts, they seems to draw something aesthetic. Like going to karaoke, taking a selfie,etc. They also draw characters from anime too. Anyway, the point is that they draw something that people (especially in my age 16) like. They sometimes draw what kids ask them to draw as well. They get a lot of comments of their drawing beloved or even get some offer for joining drawing club. That might be bc they are good at communicating with their friends and know what they want. That’s their talent and what i envy for. I love my arts so bad, but when I imagine my friends looking at my drawing,,,,nah,,I mean my friends in overall are so cute and positive. And of course I always feel so thankful to my viewers too but i..i actually wanna get some comments.. i sometimes confused whether my viewers are clicking like bc they really like my post or just clicking bc they are my followers or friends. Mostly those might be latter, but i wish they at least looked at my post for seconds and think that’s pretty nice.

[3] I can be sure about this. I draw well than any other people around me. I know the shading best, lighting best, and I make angle the best. To see this objectively, i have more techniques than any other kids and i have an experience of winning in poster design contest held in school. (Sounds petty, but it was quite a big one that my design has been made into a banner!!) But the thing is that I was trying to figure out in youtube one day why my account doesn’t grow up, they only said “hashtags don’t matter. Contents are important. Try to improve your contents then your account will grow up.” < does that mean my drawing sucks..? is it not enough to get attention yet?? All i wanted was just getting a few likes from strangers! Even just 10 likes! But yeah,, that would mean more than that.. I could just draw what people like. And follow the trend. But I can’t lie myself that my style is this creepy deepy one and it’s my identity. It’s my brand. I dk how to get rid of this one but they also say that post things frequently is the best. Even that i can’t do that! I’m a highschool student and have to focus on preparing for university. That’s the saddest thing about getting older.

If you’re reading until from here, i guess you might have a bit of impression on this and I politely ask you to be my first fan

It might had been little hard to read cuz i’m not living in English culture. But why am I writing in English? That’s because i feel awkward too when i write something in main language..

And you know what? I’m writing this shit at 5am! I might throw this shit out if i feel cringy again after i woke up. Whatever i wish you guys have a nice day and there’s a reels of this one so please check that out too :)

P.S. why i can’t copy and paste in here? I was trying ro put URL for the reels but i can’t

you can see my IG account on my bio and if you’re really interested to type my account yourself just to look around it i’ll be so touched..🫶

#digital art #horror drawing #current mood #apocalypse #fuck my life #artist problems

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marvelousm · 1 year ago

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I Love You 14 Million 605

Pairing: Reader x Doctor Strange

Word Count: 1266

Reading Time: 6 minutes

A\N: I finally finished your story request. I hope you enjoy it. If you have a story request or an idea for a story, feel free to send it my way. I'm open to writing to your ideas! Enjoy the read! 😁

**(Y/N)= your name (Y\L\N)= your last name (Y\E\C)= your eye color**

Reader POV:

It was another long day of work. Today you worked an eight hour shift, 5am-12pm and you've never felt so tired in your life. At the same, you also have felt a bit weird on your shift, as if something inside you just wasn't agreeing with your body. You've just assumed that you felt funny because it's been awhile since you've had to wake up at 5 am in the morning.

Shrugging the thought away, you untied the apron around your slim waist and tossed it in the washing machine, that sat in the back staff washroom of the large industrial kitchen. Walking back into the kitchen, you head over to the small shelf that had the emergency phone sitting on top and pulled out the black binder that lived there, to record your hours for the day.

Flipping the binder open to the section that had your name labeled on it, Y\N wrote down the date, and the number of hours that they had worked. Once Y\N was finished, they put the binder back and grabbed their water bottle off of the island counter, before saying a quick goodbye to your colleagues Karen and Jace. After exiting the building, you start to walk back to your room.

They're going to have fun with the little campers when dinner time comes around you thought, with a smirk on your face.

This week at the camp, the kids overnight camp was running and they're quite a handful. Not to mention that it's the younger age group (6-10) that's staying at the camp.

Thankfully, I won't have to deal with them until Thursday thought Y\N, recalling the situation that happened today at lunch, where some of the kids decided that it was a good idea to eat out of the bowl of sugar that's set up at the coffee and tea station in the serving area of the dining hall.

After walking down the main road for a couple of minutes lost in your thoughts, Y\N reached the The Lodge, the place that all of the female staff stay in for the summer. Entering the building, you head up to the second floor and unlocked the door to your room, #3.

Stepping inside, Y\N dropped their keys and the water bottle on the wooden night stand next to the queen sized bed, before collapsing on the comfy bed with a long sigh.

Working in the kitchen really tires me out you thought, as you comfortably laid there.

However, only after a couple a of minutes of chilling, you felt your phone vibrate in your back jean pocket. Slipping it out, Y\N checked their phone to see what the notification was. It was a text message from Stephen Strange.

Hey

Y\N Y\L\N

I'm here

Oh crap.

You had completely forgotten that Stephen was coming down today.

I guess I'm just that tired you thought, as you sent him back a message saying that you're on your way down to meet up with him.

After hitting the send button, Y\N clumsily got up from their bed and changed out of their work clothes, into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. From there, you grabbed your room keys off the night stand and headed out the door, beginning your walk down to meet Stephen at the welcome center. It had been a month since the two of you had seen each other in person, only because you've both have been busy with yours jobs.

But today, Stephen managed to get the day off just to come down to the camp to visit you. By the time you could spot him standing next to his car in the small parking lot out in front of the welcome center, looking directly at you, your legs and feet were aching and you felt a bit warmer than usual.

Maybe it's just the bright sun, you thought sluggishly.

Putting on a smile, you waved at Stephen, before greeting him with a kiss and a hug. After a few seconds of nuzzling your face into his soft neck and feeling his arms wrap around your body, bringing you closer to his chest, Stephen pulled back a bit and looked deep into your Y\E\C eyes.

''Are you feeling alright, Y\N?'' he asked, softly.

You nod your head.

''I'm fine, Steph. Just a bit tired, that's all''.

Then he took a hand off of your waist and placed it on your cheek, before he slightly moved your head to make you look up at him again. Instantly, Stephen let out a small gasp.

''Y\N....your face...it's sooo.....p-p-pale.....Are you sure you're okay???'' he asked, with concern in his soothing baritone voice.

''Yes, S-S-Stephen. I'm----''.

Suddenly you feel your legs buckle out from underneath yourself and as you began to slip into unconsciousness, you felt a pair of strong arms catch you, before you completely blacked out.

Stephen's POV:

''Y\N!!!!!'' I shouted as I shot out my arms and to catch them.

''Something's not right'' I mumbled as I stared down at Y\N, who had their head and slim body leaning heavily against my muscular chest.

''They has never fainted like this before''.

I set a palm on Y\N's forehead to check their temperature and once I did, the heat radiating off them nearly burned my hand.

''OUCH!!!'' I yelped, drawing my hand back quickly after lightly touching their forehead.

Thinking fast, I unhooked my sling ring from the brown sash around my waist and while holding Y\N against my chest firmly, I carefully bridal carried them through the orange sparking portal and into the room, before gently laying them on top of their queen size bed. As the portal behind me closed, I was starting to place a fuzzy navy blue blanket on them when Y\N began to stir.

''S-S-Stephen???'' whispered Y\N, glancing up at me with an expressionless face and dull glossy Y\E\C eyes.

''Ssssshhhh'' I replied, hushing them as I began to pet the top of their head slowly.

''You need to get some rest so you can get better''.

Floating up next to me, the cloak of levitation passed me a small white cold wet cloth. After folding it a couple of times, I laid the damp cloth on Y\N's forehead to cool them down.

''I'm not going to get better within a day'' said Y\N, weakly.

''I know. That's why I'm going to stay with you until you do'' I replied, before pressing my lips onto their cheek.

''But what about your job? Won't Wong need you?'' asked Y\N, as they watched me stop petting them and sat down at the foot of the bed.

''Wong can manage on his own for a few days. Later I'll text him to let him know what's going on''.

''Wow. You would really put everything on hold, just so you can take care of me???''.

''Of course I would, Y\N'' I assured them, setting one of my large hands on their leg and began to softly rub it.

''You're the most important person in my life. Ever since I met you, my life has been so much better. I can't imagine a life without you, Y\N''.

When I looked up to meet Y\N's gaze, I only then realized that they had fallen asleep. With a warm smile on my face, I got up slowly from the bed, stepped up next to their side and softly kissed their cheek again, before whispering:

''I love you, Y\N''.

The End.

I hoped you enjoyed the story! :)

-MarvelousM

Loved you story 'Sparks of Love'. Can you write a fanfic of doctor strange and the reader, where the reader is sick and stephen takes care of them?

Indeed I can! I apologize that I didn't get back to you quick enough, I've been quite busy. Glad to hear that you enjoyed 'Sparks of Love'. I will start writing your request RN. Thank you for the suggestion :)

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inb4belphienaps · 4 years ago

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Torschlusspanik

“How old are you really?”

Truthfully, he doesn’t know. A part of him wishes he’d kept track but it’s a hassle when all your time and energy is spent on far greater things.

If he were to think back on it, his age would probably be defined by the people he’d met and grown to love along the way. His friends and acquaintances and the ones who had been very dear to him.

He can see them all in his mind. Their faces and voices blending into one as he recalls stories and conversations and wonderful ideas they’d exchanged. Time hadn’t been kind to them. Not as kind as it should have been at least. They’d been ravaged. He’d seen them fade, trapped in their own minds, seen them driven to extinction by the search for power.

Yes, it was a funny thing – power. Those blessed with it tend to be quite satisfied with their lives, finding meaning in even the littlest things. Those who wish to obtain it are instead turned to madness, whether along the journey or at the end, when they realize that satisfaction is but a nonsensical concept invented for the weak.

Solomon isn’t sure where he fits in. He’d been blessed with a natural talent, gifts of magical aptitude that could leave many speechless. He’d also obtained his current abilities through years of searching and wondering and finding. New lands, new discoveries, new predicaments. They had been so fascinating, so enveloping at first. He could be seen positively enraptured in the world and all that it had to offer him. So many things it had to offer.

His appetite never wavered. With each dawn, another quest, another trip into the unknown. With each twilight, another question, another problem to be solved.

Luckily, he wasn’t always alone. One particular name stands out. Frankenstein. A handsome and invigorating man with an attitude that did little to soothe him.

Frankenstein had dazzled him with his wit and courage and…lack for better word, insanity. As brilliant as he was, the man had had several screws loose. That didn’t make him any less charming or passionate. In fact, some say it may have helped.

Buried in books and beakers, he never sat still. At some point, they’d convinced themselves that they held the universe in their hands. Just them two. Gods, he’d said.

Why then did he disappear?

He wasn’t dead, no. He wasn’t the type to do something like that. In his heart, Solomon knows that he’s still out there, eyes glinting in the moonlight. He knows that Frankenstein is fighting a battle with himself. Disregarding the other soul residing in him, he knows that there is doubt in that very human body of his. Impulsivity can only do so much in the face of doubt and hesitation.

How old would he be now?

Would they recognize each other? Or would they be strangers once more? Deformed and beaten by the growing passage of time? He thinks that would be more likely. The soul isn’t immune. Although the vessel may appear pristine and well-kept, the soul, however fractured it may be, will show bits and pieces of itself within the mirage.

There is no hiding those marks. Which is why he prefers to have his vessel reflect them. To a more conservative degree, definitely, yet to a degree all the same. The scars and patterns on his skin are littered with meaning. Self-inflicted pain describing moments in his life that he cannot forget. Mistakes and triumphs. Ecstasy and over-indulgence. Sorrow and regret. Trials and tribulations aplenty.

A few close calls. Brushes with death that in hindsight seem impossible. How had he survived them? He may forget…

Except when the night is blanketed in silence, or when the tide creeps in away from the morning sun, he is reminded of the terror. Flashes of light, effervescent, and a scream. Perhaps his own. The brain, as he so often finds, cannot be fooled. Deep within the entanglement of your subconscious and conscious, there is no trickery. No illusions to hide behind or whimsical acts of surrealism. Humanity is flawless in that regard.

He wishes to outrun it. To outsmart is so entirely that he doesn’t have to look back.

Gods, he’d said. Had it been a promise? A desire? A selfishness? Deep in his heart he wishes it were true. To be untouchable. Revered across realms and entrusted with the loyalty of many. Individually, they are insignificant. Together, they are a force to be reckoned with. A god needs followers. Worshippers are a bonus, an add-on. Followers – they are the wind, carrying his word, lifting him to newer heights, going to inconceivable lengths to believe.

What is a king to a god?

What is a god to a non-believer?

When he’d abandoned the idea of heaven and challenged the fallen in hell, he’d clung to a hope that it would be all for whatever followed greatness. For whatever came above it. Beyond it.

However, with each pact grew his greed. And his boredom. That hunger of his was insatiable. Knowledge seemed trivial, a thing of the past. Something he coveted but something he no longer went out of his way to obtain. Circle by circle, he descended evermore into the darkness.

You were just another human. He watched as people threw themselves at you. He watched as you harnessed your gift. He watched as your expression grew warm.

He began to see, to feel again. The beauty of emotion came flooding his senses, dulling the ache, pushing away the emptiness. His heart beats ever steady in his chest, only, it beats for you.

The rhythm in his veins sings to the tune of your likeness and he feels…love. An all-encompassing concoction of dignity. He forgets about the monsters and the skeletons in his closet. He’s too focused, too engaged in the way you speak and the way you hold your breath. In the way your brows furrow, your lips purse, how they send sparks through him. He begins to learn. He begins to remember.

And then…comes the fear.

The fear of death and the fear of being forgotten.

If there is no one left to whisper his name, it will be as if he never walked the Earth in the first place. What is a legend but a fable on the lips of believers? What is a myth but a story written in the tongue of dreamers?

A rotting corpse, a dying shell. Slotted in alongside others like him who had failed to achieve the very same goal that mocks him. Ever further he goes, ever stronger it laughs.

And so, you, like so many before you, are there to tell him it’s okay. That you will remember him. And that, in itself, is enough.

He will continue to ponder, eventually taking your word for it. He will thank you as he holds your hand in his, smiling in that way that has even the stars smitten.

#i wrote this at 5am after waking up at 3 #forgive me if it doesn't rly flow #obey me writing #obey me solomon #obey me! solomon #solomon x reader #solomon x gn reader #my writing 🐇

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