#i would watch the whole movie just for Renfield though i really like that Renfield he seems like a swell guy

[scribe-of-monsters]

I really do need to watch those old Dracula movies but I also kinda hate watching movies so we'll see how it goes

[spacetrashpile]

DRACTOBER DAY FOUR: LOVE AT FIRST BITE

Welcome back to Dractober, where I watch and rank one film adaptation of Dracula for every day in October! I'll be ranking each film on two one to ten scales (was it a good adaptation of Dracula and did I enjoy it?) and giving the film a final score at the end by averaging out the other scores.

Today's film is Love At First Bite (1979) staring George Hamilton as Dracula who, after being evicted from his Transylvania castle, travels to New York to pursue the only woman he's ever loved, who's been reincarnated into a model. Also, I did actually watch this movie on the fourth, but I watched it in a triple feature movie night with my roommates, and then instantly went to bed, so you're getting two reviews today once I watch my next film.

Let's get into it!

So, if you couldn't tell from the brief description, today's film is a parody and comedy film. As such, the "is this a good adaptation of Dracula?" question seems very easy to answer.

No. No it is not!

However, this is somehow the first film I've watched this month that actually included Renfield, so at least there's that as a point towards it. He even eats bugs and rodents!

However, immediately negating that point, there's the whole reincarnated lover thing going on with Dracula and Cindy. I was hoping beyond hope that she wouldn't be Mina reincarnated, but alas, she was. Shakes my fist at the sky. I've established this is one of my least favorite Dracula adaptation/Dracula inspired story tropes and it did make me go "GOD DAMNIT" aloud when he said it, though it thankfully only came up like one time after that.

So, on the Dracula adaptation scale, I'll be giving this film a 1/10. Certainly some of the characters were there! That's about it though!

Now, did I enjoy this film? Yes! Yes I very much did!

This was another film that has my enjoyment upped by the fact that I watched it with my roommates, but it was also very solidly funny on it's own merit. George Hamilton was a really funny Dracula, and Richard Benjamin, who played Jeffrey Rosenburg (Abraham Van Helsing's grandson and Cindy's therapist/uncommitted boyfriend) stole almost every scene he was in.

I would usually use this portion to summarize the film and talk about my favorite parts, but I think that style is generally more suited to drama films or films that are actually trying to be adaptations. With this film, I think you can get from the one sentence summary what this movie is and if you'd be interested in it at all. But I can confirm, this was a lot of fun.

Honestly, I might be giving this movie a 9 or 10 for enjoyment, if not for one notable factor. There are about four scenes in this movie that are just... straight up racist. These are all very weird and uncomfortable scenes centering around various Black minor characters, and they're basically only in there to make race jokes. These scenes are, thankfully, easily skipable and pretty short, but I wish they just hadn't been in the film at all.

There were also a few gay jokes and occasional moments of misogyny but honestly the gay jokes were (to me) a little funny, and the misogyny was significantly better than some other movies I've already watched this month, so it was significantly easier to brush off.

Overall, I had a really good time watching this movie and it was mostly extremely funny. However, those few random racist scenes took down my enjoyment, for obvious reasons. So while this could have gotten a much better score, I'm going to knock the enjoyment score down to a 7/10.

In the end, Love at First Bite gets a 4/10. Nonetheless, I do recommend it if you're looking for some campy and fun comedy this Halloween season! Just... put on fast forward in a few scenes.

[rottenbrainstuff]

Let’s talk about Renfield:

Man it was so funny. I enjoyed. I wish it was a bit less cop movie and a bit more vampire movie, and I also wish they kept some of the deleted scenes in the main movie because they were quite funny too.

It was a bit weird though, wasn’t it? I dunno, somehow the lighting, the fact that they used mostly practical effects and little CG or green screen, the quaint behind the scenes features on the DVD, the fact that it’s not a big franchise movie (I mean. universal’s Dracula I guess.) but just this little mid budget thing with a really silly script, the movie felt like… almost… retro to me. Except for the whole shtick where Renfield applies therapy vocabulary to his relationship with Dracula, which feels very contemporary, this feels like a cop movie I would have watched in 2000 or something.

And I mean that as a good thing actually, in a “they don’t make ‘em like this anymore” way. Like I said, it’s so refreshing to see people choose practical effects. I like movies from the late 90s and early 2000s, I liked the lighting and the shot composition and the scripts, I like the special features where they excitedly show how they did the stunts and the special effects to an audience that, at that point, actually might not really KNOW how it’s done, actually. For gods sake I like watching movies that aren’t just the next chapter in this never-ending factory of IP slog that only seems to want to crank out sequels and prequels and reboots.

I dunno, does that make sense? As I watched the movie I just kept getting this weird feeling that the movie felt old. I’m glad they made it. I know Nick Cage is a funny meme and whatever but he’s also a smart guy and he’s been attached to some neat projects over the course of his career, both as an actor and a producer. Highly recommend watching the interview on the special features where he has a serious chat about all the different versions of Dracula on film and what he likes about each one and what he kept in mind while he was doing his version.

[fortheturnstiles]

39, 42, 52, and 57 for the ask game :^)

39. Biggest Oscar snub(s)

hmm. in recent history i think it's a profound shame that Nope (2021) was completely shut out from the most recent academy awards. movie of the year in MY eyes. and All the Beauty and the Bloodshed should have won best documentary. Naomi Watts' performance in Mulholland Dr. (2001) is oscar-worthy to me. in part of my googling to find out if movies i like have been nominated for anything i came to find out that Heat (1995) was not nominated for a single academy award??? which is blasphemous i think

42. A movie that made you go 'wtf was that'

ok even though i technically answered this one already there are so many more weird movies i have seen so i will gladly talk about another. i went to see a film called Sometimes Aunt Martha Does Dreadful Things (1971) at a little arthouse theater near me back in february because i thought 'funny that this place is playing some sleazy 70s trash horror movie i would probably like' and OH BOY that movie is a wild ride. imagine if you will john waters and herschell gordon lewis got together and made a hippie-sploitation slasher with some melodrama leanings that was left to simmer in the florida everglades. there's some super wacky psychedelic editing choices in the killing scenes that really took me out. overall just a weird little gem that i haven't seen many people talk about so i thought this was a good opportunity to mention it >:)

52. Favorite pre-code

probably Design for Living (1933)! i love ernst lubitsch films. tod browning's Dracula (1931) is also a favorite since i love vampire movies & bela lugosi's dracula is one of the cinematic blueprints for representations of the vampire obv. and i mean he's just so charming!! "listen to them! Children Of the Night... what music they make...." i also love how clearly gay renfield is in the '31 dracula. gay and groveling and miserable he is just like me fr

57. Movies you know you should watch, but can’t bring yourself to do it?

john cassavetes' A Woman Under the Influence (1974) because i know it will ruin me emotionally. i've been putting off watching Martyrs (2008) for ages because even though i like gory bloody movies i fear that one is a whole other level of intensity. and i've never seen the original Friday the 13th (1980), which is big for 80s horror and horror franchises (both of which i enjoy) but it truly just looks so boring to me i've just watched most of the other films from that period around it instead lol

[everygame]

Days Gone (PS4)

Developed/Published by: Bend Studio / Sony Interactive Entertainment Released: 26/4/2019 Completed: 05/05/2023 Completion: Beat it. Trophies / Achievements: 48%

Two in a row here for me getting burned by “it’s not as bad as people say.” I mean, honestly, what is it about that that attracts me? It’s not even successfully contrarian, because you’re really hedging your bets by waiting to be told something isn’t bad before you try and stick your flag in “it’s good actually” territory. Plus, what is it I’m really holding out for? Something that I can class as “not bad” or “quite good”? (And that’s quite good in the British sense.) I mean, is it really worth my time watching a movie like Renfield to think “it’s not as bad as people say” rather than filling in, say, a Kurosawa I haven’t seen?

But of course, you can’t eat Michelin star restaurants every night; sometimes you’re going to want a (impossible) whopper.

The problem with things like Days Gone is that it’s like eating a whopper that’s six miles long. And I know that the Whopper comes in a round bun, so if I wanted a bun that made sense giving it extra length I probably should have gone for the (vegan) chicken royale, but I could probably eat a six mile long vegan chicken royale because they’re brilliant. And they already put about six miles worth of mayo on them.

To dig my way out of that riff… why are games like Days Gone like this? So grotesquely, illogically distended? I know exactly how they pitched this over at Sony HQ. A man walked in and said “What if State of Decay, rather than a game where players generated their own stories, was as relentlessly scripted as The Last of Us. And it played exactly like Red Dead Redemption 2.”

And before the man at Sony could respond the man pitching said “and the horse is a motorbike.”

It’s not a horrible idea, even if the influences are worn so apparently on the game’s sleeves that you almost wonder why you’re bothering. I mean the combat is literally Red Dead Redemption’s right down to the “focus” mechanic, and they’ve even got Red Dead Redemption’s random events and even animal hunting in it (which is crap, and thankfully you never need to bother with it.)

(A big aside here however to note that this is yet another piece of media with anti-wolf propaganda featuring the animals as creatures who attack on sight even though wolves sensibly stay the fuck away from humans. Also being forced to murder some bears in this can fuck off too.)

Anyway. Moment-to-moment, Days Gone plays perfectly well in a textbook case of “it’s not as bad as people say” once you actually get your weapons and bike and character upgraded a bit… which is another thing I’m going to complain about. What’s the point in having upgrade systems in your game if it just means the first five or ten or however bloody long of your game you’re stumbling about with a character that just feels crap to play? But once you get there–which takes far too fucking long–the shooting is fun enough, driving around is smooth, and you find yourself quite easily locked into the classic open-world “there’s always another box to tick off” loop.

Where it falls down, really, is that there isn’t… always another box to tick off??? The game has a really baffling way of doling out missions meaning that I often had only one mission on the whole map I could do. I actually thought I was completely screwed about a third of the way through this because the only mission I had to do was a motorbike chase and my bike was woefully unequipped because I didn’t have enough “trust” with the camp that would upgrade my bike to actually even really keep up with the enemy I was chasing. Thanks to my incredible skills, of course, I did beat it and then suddenly about six missions all appeared, but for many players that might have been it.

(If you want to hear something ridiculous about the way the game doles out missions, you basically can only get them when you’re riding on your bike outside of the camps, meaning that you’ll be in a camp with nothing to do, drive outside, suddenly get a radio call from the people inside that camp, and have to go right back. I know why they do it–what if you got the radio call while standing in front of the NPC in the camp–but why can’t you just get the whole task on the radio? You drive back and they just tell you what to do! They could have done it over the bloody radio!!!)

The pacing here is just so incredibly off. Trust with camps takes an age to grow because doing a mission might get you (literally) 400 points of the way to 25,000, and handing in bounties or hunting animals gets you like… 3 points each.

Later, of course, you realise it’s this way because the game unlocks its signature experience, “horde hunting” in the endgame, and you’ll be killing so many zombies that you’re swimming in points. However that means you’ve played almost the entire game unlocking almost nothing.

Horde hunting, actually, is the perfect example of how Days Gone just doesn’t quite get it. Hordes are all across the map through the whole game. The game doesn’t introduce the idea that you can defeat them until the end of the game. The hordes that are in the initial areas are smaller–sometimes as few as 25 zombies–and would be perfect to learn from.

The first horde the game expects you defeat, because it’s tied to a mission? Three. Hundred. Zombies.

It is absolutely idiotic. It’s not even a well designed encounter! The second horde you face in the story mode has a very clear path that they can chase you along lined with explosive trucks that kills basically all of them? The “end boss” horde has a train tunnel you can easily funnel them into! 

The thing that should be the most fun and rewarding thing in the game you don’t actually do throughout the game unless you know to do it without the game telling you, so by the time you get to do them, you’re probably too fucking bored of the game to want to. I know I was.

(And even then only the story mission hordes get marked with a life bar, so if you’re facing one randomly early in the game you have no idea if you’re actually completing part of the game until the “horde defeated” dialogue comes up. Which it might not, because there’s no leeway, and if you miss a random straggler or they clip out of the world or something (I did face some geometry issues) you’re fucked. And never mind if you’d like to practice on an earlier easier horde before doing that mission once you discover it, because you’re locked out of the earlier part of the map.)

To finish giving this a kicking, I have to say the Last of Us this ain’t. This has the most ridiculously po-faced and predictable story I’ve seen in a game in a while, mistaking a hero who comes across as a petulant arse as a rebel (well, when he doesn’t come across as unhinged, his breathless bloodlust when entering enemy camps is laughable). There’s too much simplistic edgy shit that the writers mistook for profound (damn… man sure can be inhuman to… man) and the game’s main plot, “Our protagonist is sad because his wife is dead… or is she?” is genuinely embarrassing.

I mean, I don’t know where to start with it. I know the writers would swear blind we’re supposed to be laughing along with the game during a flashback where our hero gets married in a backwards ball cap and his new wife says “Promise to ride me as much as your bike” but every other flashback sequence is so saccharine to cry irony there is beyond disingenuous (and I know it’s a callback.) And the game’s classic open-world rug-pull (there’s more map!) leads to a sequence where no character’s motivations make any sense at all. Why aren’t these characters talking to each other, you wonder? Why did our characters make these decisions in the first place???

I did laugh at the game’s “oh no my best friend is dead” fake out right at the end though. It was like Danny Aiello at the end of Hudson Hawk. “Yeah! That’s probably what happened!”

Speaking of that best friend though, (spoilers) a huge chunk of the game is about how he’s sad about how he’s lost an arm and can never ride a bike again. There’s a mission where the protagonist wants to fix it and I thought “oh, he’s going to find the material to get him a device that will help him control a bike one handed” but instead he… makes him a knife arm.

One armed people can ride motorcycles. This game is so stupid.

Will I ever play it again? There are four post-credit missions that absurdly the game makes you wait 8 in-game days to see all of because I guess they assume you’re having at ton of fun playing it more. I wasn’t, I slept in a bed for eight days and then laughed at the cut-scene promising a sequel that will never come via the silliest cliffhanger I can imagine in context.

Final Thought: The weird thing about Days Gone is that you could easily say to me “well, the reason you didn’t like this that much is that you finished it. You should have just played it till you were bored and then stopped.” Except for the fact that the game doesn’t hit the sweet spot of “not as bad as people say” until you’ve played it for ages to get upgraded and shit. This is another game with a new game+ that seems absolutely insane because why would you want to do everything over again. There’s no reason this campaign wasn’t ten hours long, forcing me to specialise in my first playthrough while keeping the upgrades and improvements flowing at a speedy clip and then letting me play the game again doing different things if I want to. No one wants six miles of whopper. Give me six miles of individual whoppers and I’ll think it’s a bit wasteful but I’ll happily eat a couple and move on with my life.

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[smokeybrandreviews]

Speed Run

I've watched three movies today. First time since probably the last time i went to the theater with my kid sister to see Black Panther II, that i could actually chill out and enjoy a film (or three) like this. The last five months have been a straight up clusterf*ck and I'm just glad there is a sense of normalcy to my life again. Seriously, between getting “evicted”, having to stress about moving, getting “fired”, and then starting this new job, i feel like this is the first time in a long time, I've had the opportunity to just breathe. To just relax. o be honest, I'm still a ways off from actually getting back to the theater in person for proper releases, mostly trying to save for a new car and furniture right now, but we’re getting there. Hopefully by the time The Marvels drops, I'll be good to go but we’ll see. In the meantime, here’s a bullet points of the films i watched today and how i flt about them.

Renfield

I liked this one. It was fun and a genuinely unique take on the Dracula myth. It plays as kind of a sequel to that old Bela Lugosi outing but it works. Like, it really works. Obviously, the star of this thing is Nic Cage’s take on the Prince of Wallachia but Holt’s Renfield was fun and i even enjoyed Awkwafina in small doses. It’s weird that she keeps getting pushed as the romantic interest to me, though. They did it in Shang-Chi and they did it in this. It’s like, there’s this romantic tension, a subtext of attraction, but they never really let that sh*t evolve. She’s just the plucky sidekick who very obviously has feelings for the protagonist but they never get together. I dunno if that’s by choice of the fact that she isn’t “classically attractive” or whatever. Personally, i think she’s gorgeous and i adore her voice so this sh*t is just bogus in my eyes but whatever. Overall, Renfield is a fun, campy, over-the-top gory, pseudo-capeflick that has a lot of heart and great fight scenes. That said, Ben Schwartz is criminally underused and the whole Lobos gang angle needed more time in order to really have weight. Still, if you have an hour and a half to kill, it’s a good watch.

The Super Mario Bros. Movie

This new Mario movie is boring. I know it's "for kids" but that's not really an excuse, is it? The Lion King is for kids. Shrek is for kids. The Iron Giant is for kids. Kids films can be good. They can be entertaining. This was not. It wasn’t even a bad movie. There are things to love about this flick. Seth Green as Donkey Kong. Jack Black was excellent casting as Bowser. All of the little callbacks and easter eggs. That climax. All of that sh*t was great. Everything else was f*cking mid and i am offended that they think kids are so unsophisticated that they would just accept this mediocre sh*t. But, apparently, they did because this motherf*cker is the first billion dollar movie of the goddamn year and it ain’t even close! Like, Ant-Man III is the next highest grossing film and the motherf*cker can’t even cracked half a bil. F*cking how? Like, where was this enthusiasm for, say, Puss in Boots II? THAT sh*t was f*cking fantastic! You people should have spent your money on that because all this is saying to Hollywood is that you want derivative adaptions of existing IPs. That’s it. I want to be clear here: The Super Mario Bros. movie is not bad but ain’t ain’t good, either. It’s nothing. It’s a nothingburger of a film and the public at large should be ashamed for making it as successful as it is. Unless i get a Metroid flick out of this. Then i will suffer this billion dollar foolishness, no problem.

Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves

This movie has no right to be as good as it is. Seriously, i had the best goddamn time with this thing. It is, unironically, one of the best fantasy outings i have ever seen in my life and is sitting at the top of my list of best film release this year. I was shocked by how dope this movie turned out to be. Seriously, there is just so much to like in this thing. From the adherence to the lore, the DnD easter eggs, detailed world-building, and accurate class attributes. I didn’t think this movie could cover so much ground and keep me interested but it did just that. The performances, from top to bottom, were fantastic. There was real chemistry among this actors and it made this film all the better for it. Look, I'm old as f*ck, right? i can say, with all certainty, that the DND film franchise was a joke until Honor dropped. Some of the worst movies i have ever seen were DND adaptions. Hell, even that old Eighties cartoon was dog sh*t. Not this movie, though. This thing was brilliant!

[smokeybrand]

Speed Run

I've watched three movies today. First time since probably the last time i went to the theater with my kid sister to see Black Panther II, that i could actually chill out and enjoy a film (or three) like this. The last five months have been a straight up clusterf*ck and I'm just glad there is a sense of normalcy to my life again. Seriously, between getting “evicted”, having to stress about moving, getting “fired”, and then starting this new job, i feel like this is the first time in a long time, I've had the opportunity to just breathe. To just relax. o be honest, I'm still a ways off from actually getting back to the theater in person for proper releases, mostly trying to save for a new car and furniture right now, but we’re getting there. Hopefully by the time The Marvels drops, I'll be good to go but we’ll see. In the meantime, here’s a bullet points of the films i watched today and how i flt about them.

Renfield

I liked this one. It was fun and a genuinely unique take on the Dracula myth. It plays as kind of a sequel to that old Bela Lugosi outing but it works. Like, it really works. Obviously, the star of this thing is Nic Cage’s take on the Prince of Wallachia but Holt’s Renfield was fun and i even enjoyed Awkwafina in small doses. It’s weird that she keeps getting pushed as the romantic interest to me, though. They did it in Shang-Chi and they did it in this. It’s like, there’s this romantic tension, a subtext of attraction, but they never really let that sh*t evolve. She’s just the plucky sidekick who very obviously has feelings for the protagonist but they never get together. I dunno if that’s by choice of the fact that she isn’t “classically attractive” or whatever. Personally, i think she’s gorgeous and i adore her voice so this sh*t is just bogus in my eyes but whatever. Overall, Renfield is a fun, campy, over-the-top gory, pseudo-capeflick that has a lot of heart and great fight scenes. That said, Ben Schwartz is criminally underused and the whole Lobos gang angle needed more time in order to really have weight. Still, if you have an hour and a half to kill, it’s a good watch.

The Super Mario Bros. Movie

This new Mario movie is boring. I know it's "for kids" but that's not really an excuse, is it? The Lion King is for kids. Shrek is for kids. The Iron Giant is for kids. Kids films can be good. They can be entertaining. This was not. It wasn’t even a bad movie. There are things to love about this flick. Seth Green as Donkey Kong. Jack Black was excellent casting as Bowser. All of the little callbacks and easter eggs. That climax. All of that sh*t was great. Everything else was f*cking mid and i am offended that they think kids are so unsophisticated that they would just accept this mediocre sh*t. But, apparently, they did because this motherf*cker is the first billion dollar movie of the goddamn year and it ain’t even close! Like, Ant-Man III is the next highest grossing film and the motherf*cker can’t even cracked half a bil. F*cking how? Like, where was this enthusiasm for, say, Puss in Boots II? THAT sh*t was f*cking fantastic! You people should have spent your money on that because all this is saying to Hollywood is that you want derivative adaptions of existing IPs. That’s it. I want to be clear here: The Super Mario Bros. movie is not bad but ain’t ain’t good, either. It’s nothing. It’s a nothingburger of a film and the public at large should be ashamed for making it as successful as it is. Unless i get a Metroid flick out of this. Then i will suffer this billion dollar foolishness, no problem.

Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves

This movie has no right to be as good as it is. Seriously, i had the best goddamn time with this thing. It is, unironically, one of the best fantasy outings i have ever seen in my life and is sitting at the top of my list of best film release this year. I was shocked by how dope this movie turned out to be. Seriously, there is just so much to like in this thing. From the adherence to the lore, the DnD easter eggs, detailed world-building, and accurate class attributes. I didn’t think this movie could cover so much ground and keep me interested but it did just that. The performances, from top to bottom, were fantastic. There was real chemistry among this actors and it made this film all the better for it. Look, I'm old as f*ck, right? i can say, with all certainty, that the DND film franchise was a joke until Honor dropped. Some of the worst movies i have ever seen were DND adaptions. Hell, even that old Eighties cartoon was dog sh*t. Not this movie, though. This thing was brilliant!

[kajaono]

3 gulity pleasure/comfort movies to watch

I finally decided to give a public shout ot to my three gulity pleasure movies that you should definitly give a try if you do love character focused storytelling.

Disclaimer: the criteria that were important for me here is that the storytelling is consistent, no major plotholes, likable characters, a good aesthetic and good cinematography. They do not have to be “Good” in the classic way but “enjoyable”

1. Dracula Untold

The movie a made up Dracula origin story with Luke Evans in main role. The turkish people attack his kingdom Transylvania so he makes a deal with a vampire. He gets the power of a vampire for three days and if he manages not to drink the blood of a human being in this three days he get turned into a human again. If not he becomes a vampire himself.

So far, so simple. The story is not super deep but as you can already tell by the poster the aesthetic of this movie is on point. They work a lot with the black/white/red aesthetic, espcially when it comes to Draculas wife (The movie has so many beautiful scenes, I am a sucker for it). Which is another good thing about the movie. While the straight marriage Dracula has in this movie is not super deep or meaningful, it is still not written agressive straight but actually lovable and wholesome to watch...

And the movie involves vampires and a gay actor so of course it is gay on a subtextual level. Seriously, Luke Evans letting another man suck his blood changed me forever.

Also the whole inner conflict of a man who doesn’t want to be a monster and does everything to suppress it but has to unleash the monster to safe the people he loves gets me everytime. Its about the suffer! Also Dracula is absolutley loavble in the movie. You just want to protect him... and you also want to see him suffer in every way possible.

It is not a horror movie but a dark fanatsy movie with some slightly gory scene but also here they focus more on the aesthetic then the gore so it is easy to watch. (In germany people from 12 years onwards are allowed to watch it. I would say 14 years onwards).

Also Christianity is not really used/shown in the movie. I am glad about that because this is something that can be really annyoing and triggering for some people and ruin their fun. But here are just some monks who say a prayer, thats basically it

Oh and some background knowledge about Dracula can absolutely improve your fun because he has his own Renfield and his bridges.

The ending is unexpected and super wholesome. And with 90 minutes run time you can easily watch it. So definitly give it a try if you a sucker for aestheticly pleasing movies, a monster fucker, a queer vampire lover or if you just love seeing beautiful man suffer for 90 minutes straight.

The only downside is that he has no wings, like teased on the poster so do not get your hopes up. And there is a really weird CGI scene.

2. King Arthur - Legend of Sword

Yeah, I know what you are now thinking “She is out of her mind!”/”Why are all the movies white male lead?!” but please let me explain

*Heavy breath*. This movie is an origin story (You already notice I like those, because you can put so much bonkers ideas into made up origin stories) for King Arthur. It loosley follows the tale. When Arthur is a little boy his jelaous uncle kills Arthurs whole family. Only Arthur is able to escape in a boat. He is then raised by sex workers and lives a slightly criminal but normal life. His life changes when a magic sword stucked in a stone is found. As a result he has to fight against his uncle even though Arthur actually is not interested at all in becoming King himself

So... this adaptation is totally bonkers. I would never agrue about that. But this movie is still enjoyable. First at all, I am a slut for Guy Ritchties way of filming. You can already see it in Sherlock Holmes, how scenes are played forward and back again, how everything is moving when the character is telling a story or planing a heist. Here it is used in an extreme way. Not as much as in The Gentleman though where it was over-used imo. Here it is used in the right amount. It makes the story really fun and dynamic to watch. In general the movie has a dark aesthetic. But in contrast to Dracula Untold it is not dark from teh beginning but gets their over the course of the movie.

2. The soundtrack. Absoultly amazing! I remeber how the trailer was released and the people on YouTube tried to extract the music from the trailer immediately. It is absolutly on point

3. The magic. The movie has a lot of fanatsy elements with witches who can “borrow” animals and use their bodies to attack other people. We have Merlin of course, who is again criminally underused. Spritis of the wood, Spritis of the water and a really dreamish guest world??? Which gets never explained but hey, thats not what we are here for anyway

4. The characters are absolutly lovable. We also have the actor of little finger from GOT and he kinda plays the same role here. The movie has the obligatory female love interest ... who never gets turned into a love interest. Big yeah! Arthur hits on her one time, she refuses, and the rest of the movie we never have to deal with a forced heterosexual relationship ever again. And the sex workers are shown as real lovable human beings. As mother figures and sisters, which again is a big yay! And the movie has Jude Law… who sadly got a horrible written role but he still plays it really well

Only the finale fight is a huge let down. But it is still a fun to watch movie which always give you something to smile about. Not a depressing movie. And yeah... we all just ignore the criminal modern hair cuts and style of the main character, okay?

3. Vampire Academy 2014

Yeah, again a vampire movie, what Can I say? I am queer. If PoTC wasn’t my bisexual awakening this movie definitly was it

First at all, please do not let you fool by the promo images, they are horrible and do not capture the spirit of the movie at all. But in a way they also do... its compliacted

This movie is told from the POV of Rose a half-vampire who is the protector of her best friend, Lissa, a born royal vampire. The movie is about Lissa and Rose who escaped from their vampire high school but are brought back after one year and are quickly confronted with royal conspiracies among the students, a big mystery and Lissa who has a really special ability (yeah there is magic involved) and of course the drama of high school love.

I know some fans who say that the movie is making fun of the book Vampire Academy is based on but seriously? I don’t think so. Vampire Academy (the movie) was released during the twilight hype but didn’t wanted to be confused with twilight. So the writers haven chosen a completly different route. Instead of being all romantic and taking itself too seriously it is really really funny. You do not cringe the whole time like I do when I watch Twilight (love the books).

Rose is a strong fighter who always has a punchline (not annyoing btw), Lissa who is all girly and princess and the older love interest Dimitri who is excatly capturing the spirit of the older boy we all had a crush on once. Hot, sexy and completly out of reach. You can already see the clichés but the movie is aware of those cliché and kinda turns it around, give the character a human side every viewer can connect to

There are a lot of training scenes with Rose and Dimitri which are a joy for every bisexual to watch. Natalie - a side chatacter - is the school nerd but instead of being potrayed as annyoing she is super loveable and human. Lissa is sure all princess, but you only want to protect her when you see her suffering.

The movie sure has a low budget, so there is no true aesthetic or stunning cinematography, it is just straight up an enjoyable movie.

And I think the more humoristic approach is why the movie is working so well. Why I am cringing when movie!Edward asks Bella: “You know what I am. Say it” but why I get weak knees when Dimitri calls Rose “Roza”

Vampire Academy truely said: “Those are sexy vampire who go to proms and do unrealstic stuff but in the end they are just humans, let us focus on that”. You know this movies were actors try to appear royal and cool and mysterious and it is just so uncomfrtable to watch and the whole time you are just begging the movie to stop? VV is excatly NOT doing this

I think the reason why this movie flopped so hard was because it completly changed the tone of the book, it was still confused with twilight and didn’t really fit into any category, because it is also not a parody. I do not knw if the world was and will ever be ready for this movie.

So if you want teenage high school drama movie which is funny, has amazing chemistry among the cast, who is full of clichés but also gets rid of them right away, if you love vampires and women with swords.. watch that movie

[lord-of-the-ducks]

Ok so since I couldn’t finish watching Van Helsing because Hulu is annoying like that, I watched Dracula (1931). I didn’t take time stamps so if you read through my notes there’s no context, but here you go anyway. Ignore the What We Do In the Shadows jokes

Dracula (1931)

I’m going to be so nitpicky about this movie even though I know it’s based on the play which I haven’t seen/read, not necessarily the book

Swan lake in the opening?

Don’t ask how I know my mom tried to make me a music nerd

No Quincey on the cast list? :(

Walpurgis night oh no

Heh look at this idiot going to borgo pass… I don’t know what that is

I love how in all adaptations, Jonathan is consistently an idiot

Wow they really are just straight up telling him what’s going on instead of being vague and praying and crying

Jonathan my beloved

Oh sweetie you should be very afraid. 

At least someone gave him a crucifix

Dracula, clean your house better

Dude you have so much space that you could use for storage

PRETTY. PRETTY VAMPIRE LADY

BELA LUGOSI!!!!!

I want that coat

Wow, I guess 1930s audiences liked everything to be explained to them

Dracula taking Jonathan’s bags is gonna make me think of WWDITS, shit

He’s just steering the carriage as a bat agshiusadi Dracula I love you

DUDE CLEAN UP

YOU HAVE GUESTS

I love those sfx bats that are just puppets on a string with all my heart

Oh please let this be as gay as the book

I still don’t understand the whole “children of the night” thing and I’ve been doing research for years I gotta get on that

Sfx spider my beloved

Wait, this is Renfield?!? Not Jonathan?!?

Not a lot of adaptations give us pre-insane Renfield

I guess I’m free to make Nandor/Guillermo jokes about familiars

WHat the fuck is that walk 

“I never drink… wine”

OH SHIT I’M GAY

SFX BAT IS BACK BAY BEE

Did he just faint from the bat? Bruh

“This man belongs to me” hand motion huh

Tickles?

That felt gay

YES CRAZY RENFIELD MY BELOVED

That whole “master” thing is not straight

“You will keep your promise?” I was 100% expecting him to ask to be turned like Guillermo

He just fucking left him fuiuadgui

Renfield is actually the best

Oh please don’t hurt the nice flower girl

Oh he did

Vampire hypnosis?

Dracula, what is it with you and old broken houses please just fix things

I love how they make fun of him

Lucy if you do the very not good thing and start crushing on Dracula at least try to fix his house up a big

I love that stupid bat puppet

They haven’t actually shown Dracula feeding yet. Well, they have, they’ve shown him hunting people and pinning them down and stuff, but no actually bites. I wonder if it’s because it would be too hard to do with special effects or if it’s “scandalous”

Oh thank god they skipped over the blood transfusion shenanigans

Martin is delightful

“Who wants to eat flies” “you do ya loony” ahahhduiahid

Wow they figured the vampire thing out fast

“Two little wounds, white with red centers”

Oh please let Van Helsing be absolutely unhinged

I forgot to write something down about the vampires transforming into bats and wolves

“You know too much to live” ???

Wolfsbane repels vampires apparently

Oh no Mina’s gonna get eaten! Except the only reason I know her name is because I read the book she’s literally so boring

WHAT IS THAT FACE, BELA EXPLAIN

Jonathan shut the fuck up

“It seemed as though all the life had been drained out of me” 

Dracula has no reflection 

He just fucking slapped the cigarette case adhkauh

“I dislike mirrors” 

“For one who has not lived even a single lifetime you are a wise man” I forgot that everyone is especially a little baby 

“The strength of the vampire is that people will not believe in him” DAMN THAT IS ESSAY WORTHY

Van Helsing my beloved, saying the most crazy shit and expecting people to accept it

“Yes I heard something: Enough” I fucking cackled that is so fucking funny 

MINA FUCKING DIED?

RENFIELD WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING

Oh nevermind she’s alive

LUCY!!!! YES!!!

Gaslight gatekeep girlboss

Do Mina and Lucy get to kiss in this version

“You musn’t kiss me ever again” oh no, apparently being preyed on by a vampire makes you a hArLoT

Renfield my beloved

Dracula can control rats?

Dracula I can’t believe you told Van Helsing to go back to his own country

Ok so feeding someone vampire blood turns them

Ok so apparently strong willed people can resist hypnosis

Dracula’s reaction to crucifixes is hilarious

Oh no she’s a hArLoT

I like her dress

Is she gonna eat him? It would be very gaslight gatekeep girlboss of her to eat him

She’s just casually talking to the bat and then when Jonathan calls her out she’s like “no I didn’t”

MARTIN IS QUINCEY IN THIS VERSION??? HELL YES!!!!!

Martin I love you

Ma’am don’t let him in

Ma’am 

NO THAT’S WORSE PUT BACK THE PLANT

MA’AM STOP

The camera always cuts off the moment before Dracula bites someone

That’s a really cool dress

Mina’s joining the polycule ayyyyyeeeee

Renfield you betrayed him like 8 times

Ouch

Oh no Mina’s a vampire

Ok nevermind she isn’t

They didn’t actually show the staking

Anyway I rate this movie like, 7/10. Obviously super influential, Bela Lugosi is a gift, and the fact that there were a ton of divergences from the original 1897 novel didn’t bother me, but it’s not the sort of thing that I can see myself talking to someone about for hours on end. Basically, I had fun andI don’t actively hate it. If you’re looking for something scary, I wouldn’t recommend, but it’s very entertaining

[bl00dline]

What are your favorite movies of each decade (from 1910s to 2010s)? (Also, would you be so kind as to write the things you like about them?) I'd love to watch the ones I haven't seen yet. I'm so sorry this is a very long answer question, but I'm really curious. If you don't have time to answer, I'd understand. 💜

Hi there anon! I’ll try to answer as best as I can, but I’m not as familiar with a lot of new movies.

1910s: The Cook (1918)

This is such a fun movie. It’s chaotic and hilarious, as all Comique films are! Buster is great as the flirty waiter (if I were any of those ladies I certainly would have kissed him), and watching Al St John go feral is hilarious. Also, Luke the Dog is incredibly talented!

1920s: Sherlock Jr (1924)

Buster is so dapper as Sherlock Jr it PAINS ME. Anyways, I think this movie is incredible. The stunts, special effects, and adorable plot are what make it my favourite movie. I also think the pacing of this movie is perfect. This is such a wonderful movie and I always suggest it to people who want to start watching silent movies :D

1930s: Dracula (1931)

RENFIELD DESERVED BETTER. Though this movie is a bit cheesy, especially to the modern viewer, it’s such an iconic film. Bela Lugosi’s eerie performance as Dracula is amazing.

1940s: The Maltese Falcon

I love noir movies. Though I haven’t seen a lot of them, this one is my favourite. I really like the characters in this movie!

1950s: ?

To be honest I haven’t seen many 1950s movies!

1960s: Maybe The Sound of music? I don’t know

1970s: I don’t know either haha

1980s: Field of Dreams (1989)

LITERALLY EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS MOVIE IS RIGHT UP MY ALLEY. Early 20th century baseball and ghosts? COUNT ME IN. This is such a wonderful and touching movie. The plot is quite unpredictable and the whole movie is just *chefs kiss*

1990s: Titanic (1997)

I don’t watch this movie for the romance (honestly i could care less about it fhjfbdbdj), I watch it for the AMAZINGLY ACCURATE DEPICTION OF THE TITANIC. The costumes are incredibly accurate (Rose’s walking suit at the beginning is a replica of an outfit from March of 1912!) and the sets are accurate, too.

2000s: Joyeux Noël (2005)

This isn’t the most accurate WWI movie out there, but it’s not bad. What bothers me most is that no man’s land is incredibly small, without a lot of shell holes or mud. But aside from that, this is a really wonderful and heartwarming movie. My favourite part about this movie is that everyone speaks their own language. It makes the movie much more realistic, that way.

2010s: 1917 (2019)

Aaaaaaaaaa I could go on forever about how much I love 1917. It’s a realistic and emotional depiction of the First World War. The cinematography is incredible and the movie is so immersive! The ending always makes me cry.

Thank you for this ask, anon! This took me quite a while but it was very fun and kept my mind off of things. Thanks again 💗

[amplesalty]

Halloween 2020 - Day 3 - Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992)

The Apocalypse is Now for me!

Even without getting into the Universal sequels the way I have been with their Frankenstein franchise, I certainly have managed to get through a fair few Dracula related movies over the years; the 1931 version (and it’s Spanish language counterpart), Nosferatu, Shadow of the Vampire, Dracula: Dead and Loving It, Dracula 2000, Van Helsing, Monster Squad, Hotel Transylvania and the BBC production from earlier this year. Never did a recap on the final episode of that though. This one has been on the list for a while, along with the 1994 Frankenstein movie, and it recently turned up cheap on blu-ray so why not? It is on UK Netflix at the moment so could have saved myself a few pounds but, eh, it can sit with the Universal boxsets and I am curious to look at some of the extras.

This is directed by Francis Ford Coppola and, for someone widely regarded as one of the great filmmakers of all time, I’ve never seen any of his work so this is a first. I do have the Godfather boxset here though that I should get around to a some point. Looking at his filmography, Jack really sticks out like a sore thumb.

Looking at some of the various Dracula adaptations though, one that stands out is an animated Batman movie called The Batman vs Dracula that came out in 2005. I kinda need to see that, along with the TMNT cross over they did last year. There’s actually more Batman/Dracula movies out there apparently, including a lost Fillipino film called Batman Fights Dracula and Batman Dracula which was produced and directed by Andy Warhol, both without permission from DC Comics. I wasn’t expecting one, let alone three of the things.

This version seems to be much more in line with the original source material, featuring a lot of scenes told from diary entries, letters and ship logs. Plus it features Quincey Morris and a more dramatic finale where Dracula faces off against a group consisting of Harker, Van Helsing, Seward, Holmwood and Morris before nearly getting stabbed to death. More interesting at least than sneaking in whilst he’s asleep and staking him through the heart.

It adds to an overall feel of sympathy that it feels like the movie is trying to build for Dracula. It opens up by showing his heroic feats in battle, fighting off the Turks and defending the Order of the Dragon, only for his wife to commit suicide when she receives fake news of her husband’s demise. When Dracula is told that his bride’s soul cannot be saved for she has sinned in taking her own life, he renounces God and drives his sword into a cross which proceeds to have blood gush out of it which he laps up. Even when he goes to turn Mina into one of the undead, he hesitates, reluctant to saddle her with his same fate.

Then when Harker arrives to conduct business with Carfax Abbey, Dracula laments the passage of time, how his great race is now but a distant memory and, when learning of Harker’s fiancé Mine, mourns his own departed wife.

That wig is really stupid though.

Even in the face of that, the movie still managed to win Oscars for Best Costume Design, as well as Best Sound Effects Editing and Best Makeup. It lost Best Art Direction to Howards End. The visuals truly are the high point of the film, particularly early on with the gothic scenery of Dracula’s castle or the surreality of all the blood in the chapel in the aforementioned origin scene for Dracula.

There’s one gorgeous moment on Harker’s journey to Transylvania where he’s writing in his journal and the scene fades between an interior shot of him, to this shot of the train seemingly travelling atop his diary admist a dusk skyline. That same orange skyline is in effect in the scene where Dracula fights the Turks, with everything playing out in silhouette.

Dracula’s armor is quite unique there as well. Has this ostentatious feel to it, I don’t know how protective it would be but it’s very striking. It’s something I’ve seen out of context before seeing the movie and it always made me think of the human body without skin, all the muscles and tendons and what not. Like Frank in Hellraiser before he’s fully reformed. It feels like the kinda thing you’d see as a unique armour set in Dark Souls.

I really like the lunatic asylum where we find Renfield and Dr Seward, even if it is underused. Renfield is always my favourite part of these movies but we start with him already mad and it’s Harker who has to take over his accounts and go seal the Dracula deal before being targeted by the Count and his mistresses in the castle. The whole asylum has this very grimey, industrial feel to it.

The guards have these head cages on and Reinfield has these odd hand/finger braces? For some reason the Dracula: Dead and Loving it version is coming to mind where everything is much cleaner and looks like some stately home. There’s that scene where Seward invites Renfield out for a spot of afternoon tea, only Renfield is more interested in the passing insects than any sandwiches or pastries on offer. Absolutely a world away from his surroundings here.

The cast is very strong, with Gardy Oldman as Dracula and Anthony Hopkins as Van Helsing standing out, even amongst the lesser parts you’ve got Richard E. Grant, Cary Elwes and even Tom Waits as Renfield. Keanu Reeves and Winona Ryder are also noteworthy, mainly for their English accents. It’s kina hard to see Reeves in this role personally as I’ve just come off the back of rewatching the first two Bill & Ted’s, as well as the new one, so I keep expecting Harker to be like “This Dracula dude is totally keeping me locked in his castle and intends to turn me into one of his undead groupies, that is most heinous!” I find Harker tends to just blend in by the end of the movie though as he’s often in these group settings along with Van Helsing, Holmwood, Seward and Morris and it’s the former two that often stand out most due to Van Helsing’s eccentricity and Holmwood being the comparative straight man who’s always confused as to what the devil is going on.

Certainly for the spectacle alone this is worth watching, beyond that, I’m not so sure. I think anything once Dracula leaves Transylvania I’m not as interested in, this version like the BBC once this year focuses more on the initial meeting between Harker and Dracula and spends more time within the castle, looking at their interactions and Harker’s suffering.

[jq37]

Have you done breakdowns of the last few episodes yet? If not 👀

**spoilers for a new york wedding**

Prologue: I had a partially free day today (as in the day I started writing this which is now two days ago) so I decided to swing by Central Park and check out the Bethesda Fountain where I saw both a proposal and a man on a segway with a live snake around his neck so, yeah, New York is just Like That.

"Here's a possibly magic crown. Why don't we ask the butt stuff guy about that?"

The face Brennan makes when Emily says, "I used to do colonics at the salon," is great. Like, "We are two minutes into this ep, your sentence isn't even complete, and I already can't handle it."

So they get out of the sewers and Bethesda Fountain has been attacked (which is a shame just aesthetically because, having now seen it in person, it's a really pretty fountain). Em is devastated and explains that the fountain is like a Important magical symbol of good change and a source of divine purification magic.

Another side note about the fountain: There are these little cherub figures around it in additional to the Angel. I wonder if those are sentient too. Also-also, the promenade across from the fountain has these cool murals of the seasons. My point is, there's a lot of fodder for possible lore just in that small area of the park.

Misty finds ashes by the fountain (concerning) and wipes it on Kugrash's fur (rude).  

I love that Emily thought Pete was pouring one out (one being one bag of cocaine).

"Sophie, your magic is that you're a wonderful person and you jump really good."

"The Bread Wedding"

Kudos to Brennan for all the wide range of crazy voices he had to do in this ep. Don Confetti. The Golem. Perry the Pigeon. That can't be easy on the throat.

Sophie is fully ready to fistfight Don Confetti over their last names which is wild for a lot of reasons we're not gonna get into.

So Brennan has everyone roll a Wis save and everyone did OK except I think Ricky. Brennan never explains why he had them roll that. Concerning. I'm wondering now if it was something that would have needed a nat 20 to save from it or something where the people who saved didn't realized they saved from it and the people who didn't are just ticking time bombs or sleeper agents or something else awful.

Pete is such a dangerous friend to be around when you're emotionally compromised. His solution to everything is drugs.

"It's an off-white!" --Misty upon being called out for wearing white to a wedding.

Brennan has Perry go on a wild 39 second monologue about relationships that Pete interrupts by stuffing drugs down his gullet--see again my previous bullet about Pete.

Sophie notices that a lot of the pixies recognize her which pm confirms her brother is In This which, to use the word of the day again, *Concerning*.

Emily having Sophie get really emotional but also struggling to keep the laughter out of her face is always super funny to watch.

So Pete finds a table of vampires. Brennan spends a couple of minutes describing them before he gets to it outright but it's pretty immediately clear they're vamps. Well, vamps plus a suspicious older guy and a girl (Melissa) who seems to be playing Renfield to the vamps. Getting high so they can drink her blood and get high. Pete brilliantly confirms this by getting the suspicious guy (Rob, as far as we know) to go off on Politics and then deep mind-reading the girl. That's one of the most clever RP things I've seen a player do. Pete also sees that Rob is hanging out with the vamps but he doesn't seem to be one.

Pete fails his wild magic check but nothing happened that we know of. A lot of stuff on the wild magic table is situational though (like the reincarnate spell from Bloodkeep with the potion Sohkbarr drank).

Rob implies he knows what happened with Pete's dad. Pete goes into a tailspin, as if he isn't constantly in one.

Everyone dancing so they can talk in public instead of just, like, having a sidebar. Just that entire sequence is peak comedy.

Ricky, the good boy, is dancing with his pigeon date while everyone else is mystery solving (or, in Soph's case, crying in a closet or something).

Rob is supposedly in finance. Last time there was a character involved in finance/banking in D20 it was the whole KVX fiasco in FH.

"Did I use up my favor? I could have had anything in the world."

Sophie upon seeing anything young woman in any kind of situation immediately springs into action, ready to drag them out by any means necessary. I love her.

Robert works at a hedge fund and Kug recognizes him. Brennan explains how he knows him in a very vague way which the rest of the table clocks instantly. Murph asks if Rob knows Gabriela. He does. Who the hell is Gabriela, Misty and I wonder.

Emily goes galaxy brain and theorizes that the bad guys are laundering souls which is equal parts bonkers and brilliant. The camera unhelpfully *doesn't* cut back to Brennan so I can attempt to read his DM poker face. I am reminded of Emily wondering if [redacted] was in the sword in a recent ep of Naddpod and Murph just deciding that they were on the spot because it was cooler than what he had planned. I know you can't win at DnD but I think Emily is winning at DnD.

I mentioned this in passing I think last recap, but Pete's magic is really interesting to me because Pete doesn't know what his character sheet looks like and he's not someone like Kingston or Ricky who's been doing their thing for a while and knows that they can do and what the things he can do are called. So Ally has to get a little creative about activating abilities (like True Strike in this ep) without being too meta, if that makes sense.

Kug knows Rob from a while ago (from the 80's he later says) but he doesn't seem to have aged. The group is thinking vampire, but he wasn't drinking blood in the memory Pete saw. Suspicious. Put a pin in that with everything else on my conspiracy board.

Misty: Eyyyy Macarena!

Kug kisses the pigeon. Sure.

Misty/Siobhan also does a clever thing and suggests taking a selfie with the vamp table in the background to see who shows up. Only Melissa and Rob do, so they're not vamps for sure.

So they go back to Kingston's place and he, Pete, and Sophie cook for everyone which has basically nothing really to do with the plot but I think it was a nice character beat for them.

Kingston and Misty fought a mummy on Long Island back in the day. As you do. Sidenote, when I was in Central Park today (two days ago), I passed by a big-ass obelisk that apparently exists and that I am *certain* Brennan has lore for, even if it doesn't come up.

Misty, a very wealthy Broadway star: If you pay for the Metropolitan Museum, you're a Goddamn fool.

Sophie had not put together that Misty is a fairy before now and I was like ??? for a second but, actually, with the info she has, that's not necessarily the conclusion she would draw. She could just be a really short lady with magic. It's been that kind of week.

Kingston presses Kug on how he knows Rob and Kug reluctantly confesses that HE USED TO BE A GUY. Zac blindly guesses that he was a stockbroker which is ALSO CORRECT.

"movie horse breeder" is such a specific job to pull out of thin air.

Siobhan, making a choice: Let me tell you about my good friend, John Wilkes Booth.

Brennan's total break of composure when Zac/Ricky says, "I wasn't always a firefighter." Zac lowkey has the best comic timing of everyone on the squad. He's just really understated about it.

Anyway, there are levels to this. How long has Kug been a rat??? I feel like it must have been a while because of all the weird ass stuff that he does. Also, he excuses a lot of his behaviors due to being a rat considering he's actually a rat-MAN, emphasis on the man. The stock broker thing surprised me more considering that Kug is introduced doing some pretty altruistic, non-stockbroker-y things. Did Kug piss off a homeless witch and get Beauty and the Beast-ed? He never actually answered the question about how he knows Rob since everyone got sidetracked by the fact that he used to be a whole-ass HUMAN MAN. Did Rob curse him for less moral lesson reasons? What's going on here????

Esther and Ale have been researching. The grey baby is apparently named Nod, just like the place, and it (it specifically, not him or her) like the ruler of there.

There's this whole group bit Brennan, Ally, and Siobahn do about how you can take the L train really far and then catch a shuttle bus that can only be seen by the pure of heart to get to Nod and it's really funny but how funny would it be if they actually tried to do it in a dire moment and also Ricky could do it for sure send tweet.

Kingston is trying so-so hard to keep everyone on task all episode. Bless him.

Kug asks Esther about her mom, which surprises her. He says they used to be friends (Did *SHE* curse him????). Esther says she hasn't seen her in a long time, since she was 5 or 6. Of course, it's easy to want to connect this to the Gabriela he was asking about earlier but we'll see about that. I think I saw some people speculating that he's Esther's dad which I'm even more skeptical about considering what we learn later but wouldn't that be wild?

Ricky decides to shoot his shot with Esther. His brain is full of love, determination, civic responsibility, and absolutely nothing else, bless his golden retriever heart.

Brennan as Esther drops the best stealth joke (though, it has a very high likelihood of crossing from joke to plot point) in D20 so far with the Imperial Axiom/Sinatra's Law explanation. It was a full, "Wait. What? Oh!" Big gold star for Brennan for that one. I had to take a second and recover from that when I heard it the first time.  Beyond the joke, it also seems like a likely hook for the eventual Big Bad of the campaign. First NY, then the world, you know?

The fact that the highways go against the grain of magic leylines of NY in this world is such a good detail and it makes a lot of sense intuitively.

Zac breaks Brennan again with the, "Traffic's really bad," comment.

Please let Ricky's big dumb puppy self win over Esther. "It's really hard for me." Riiiickyyyy.

So Kingston goes to see Willy, the Williamsburg golem about Lazarus from the Bible (New Testament). Aren't golems de facto Jewish? I think. I am correct. However, as much as Willy doesn't know about the New Testament, he *does* know about the Statue of Liberty which is convenient because--shoutout to the people who figured it out in advance--Lazarus is not Lazarus from the Bible. It's Emma Lazarus who wrote the poem on the Statue of Liberty. This of course means that I need to do a close read of that poem at some point but not today baby because I need more information before I start going full Pepe Silvia. Sidenote: What a great place for Kingston to be when figuring out that info. Close enough that Willy can just point out the statue. It's cinematic. Fantastic.

(Also, I made a post about the fact that Siobahn just knew Emma's name off the top of her head, but when it cut to the other side of the table, Emily's eyes got all big too).

Emily gets a nat20 which RUINS her plans because she runs into Isabella aka the woman her husband left her for. They have an adult Means Girls stand-off where Sophie finds out they're getting married (or at least having a ceremony bc Dale didn't send her divorce papers yet). Big ups to Emily for staying in character and ditching all the sleuthing she was going to do because there is no way Sophie would be stable enough for that to be her top priority at the moment (even though I really wanted her to do all that stuff!)

Also, I'm looking forward to watching Sophie rip her to shreds when she inevitably turns out to be a succubus/demon/fiend/whatever. Honestly, she can just barfight her and I'd be satisfied.  

So Misty goes home and finds a present waiting for her. It's a big ass mirror. Correction. It's a big ass mirror that Titania immediately uses to angry Skype her. Yikes.

It seems like her shoes of Titania are literally that, stolen from Titania (love that Titania was barefoot in her character art btw). I know they let her cast a certain spell in an earlier episode but I'm wondering why she stole them. Maybe they helped her cross over from Faerie (which happened ~400 years ago we ind out)?

Titania is pissed that Misty is stealing "glamour" that should be hers (via playing her in the new show). Glamour in the fairy sense is like a disguise. Glamour in the DnD sense is a fey-based bard option (which is the class I'm guessing Titania will be if they have to fight her). Curious to get a deeper explanation on that later.  

Misty is able to cover back up the mirror but she breaks a hip in the process because of Titania's mojo and has to call Kingston. I already said this but I love their relationship.

(Sidenote, I meant to mention this earlier, but I think whiffs of the undead came up a couple of times in this ep which makes me wonder if the mummy situation Kingston mentioned is going to come back).

"Please, use any one of the guestrooms."

I FORGOT ABOUT KUG'S STUFF AT THE END

Ugh, this ep is an emotional roller coaster

"Wherever you are Rat Jesus, know that I love you. From Wally." What a good boy. 

Everyone reacting to Murph's reaction to Wally before they Find Out is like, an experience. It's like that airpods meme.

OK, I'm not going to go through a whole play by play because nothing I could say would be better than watching the scene but I guess Murph/Bren decided in for a penny, in for a pound because we find out via a conversation between Wally and his businessman brother David that he is Kug's SON. HIS SON. S O N.

Wally is convinced that their dad wouldn't have just left them. David thinks Wally is being naive. I want to die.

Everyone around the table except maybe Ally is so visibly upset at this new information and Ally goes, "FUCK!" at the end so you know we all express emotions in different ways.

God, it's so sad! And I'm not gonna say, "I knew it!" because I didn't. I super didn't. But when Wally was introduced (man that scene hits differently now) I remember thinking, this is such an oddly specific NPC. Like, you know when you're playing a game and the stuff you can click is slightly better rendered and you can kind of tell what you should focus on and what's background art? That's how he felt.

Anyway, again, I'm sad. (GMYeah!.gif)

Watching *OVER* you Murph. OVER you. That's how you make it not creepy!

Meanwhile, Pete lets a bunch of bug monsters out of his dream into real New York City which, tbh, I'm not surprised. This seems like the kind of thing that would happen. Pete is exactly the worst kind of person to be the dream avatar in terms of being responsible.

I love that Siobhan is like, “I have a broken hip” as if all but one of them don’t have literal magic powers. That’s a very fixable problem compared to other stuff they’ve dealt with that day alone. 

Anyway next time, a wasp centaur (thanks, I hate it) and a nat 20! See you then.

[neriad13]

Media Consumed Impressions 3/24-30

Tipping the Velvet [book - fiction] - This book was difficult to get through at times. For a long stretch of the middle section I was completely infuriated with how the main character was coping with a bad breakup and considered putting the book aside numerous times. 

But I kept on, having made it a priority to read more lesbian books and thankfully it got much better after the main character was free of a terrible lover. 

I especially enjoyed the development of the relationship between her and Flo, the final lover of the book. They both have their pasts and their sorrows and both of them learn to accept the others’ shortcomings in such a sweet way. 

Lesbian Cassanova’s alright. 

The Dark Crystal Creation Myths Vol. 1 [comic - fiction] - Astoundingly gorgeous art! And such a surprising find on the shelf of a library I don’t frequent all that often!

I hadn’t thought about that movie in ages, but these stories jogged my memory considerably. The story behind the gods of this world is way, way different and more interesting than I thought it’d be. Part of me thought it would spoil the mystery of the movie, but the weird reality is that it actually adds to it.

Safari Honeymoon [comic - fiction] - Yep. Pretty dang weird. =B Nice art though. Alas, poor Winston.

Us [movie] - I did like this movie...but it didn’t feel as cohesive as I would have liked. The separate bits and pieces of it, when taken on their own, were amazing. But the entire thing just didn’t come together as a whole for me.

The point where I started to lose interest was after the other family confronted them in their living room and the mystery of the affair was taken away. I felt like at that point, it ceased being a horror movie and shifted to being an action one. I do like a bit more suspense in horror movies. 

Trees: In Shadow [comic - fiction] - I didn’t care for this one. The premise was an interesting one and the sociopolitical ramifications of it were pretty well illustrated but...literally every single character I cared about died in the most pointless of ways at the end. 

Also, a group of Antarctic researchers in charge of monitoring the most important development in the WORLD whilst behaving like squabbling children didn’t sit well with me.

Dracula (1931) [movie] - Why are there armadillos in Dracula’s castle?

Anyway, Renfield’s weird little laugh was the highlight of the movie. =‘D

Deadly Class [comic - fiction] - Surprisingly poignant for a book which contains the phrase “Freshman Manhunt.” 

Some really strong, distinctive character designs too! 

Shout out to the panel in which a shirt with a skull on it looked like the character’s boobs. I see you there.

The Seventh Seal [movie] - Those are some relatable atheist feels right there. 0.0 It made me shiver, hearing a voice that expressed the exact same doubts that I’ve had, from fifty years ago.

And man, did I love this personification of death. I can totally see how he influenced Terry Pratchett’s version. 

Dr. Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb [movie] - The ending was so good that I absolutely had to spoil it for a friend. =B

And oh my god, the collect call scene!!! =‘D

Uzumaki [comic - fiction] - This is actually the third time I’ve read the entire thing through. It’s my favorite piece of horror in the entire world - maybe even my favorite piece of media ever. 

This read’s purpose was for tattoo ideas. I’m leaning toward an armband of twisting arms.

Mata Hari [movie] - The movie in which all characters, whether French, Russian or German...have American accents.

But Greta Garbo’s acting! This is the first movie I’ve seen of hers and...damn...now I need to watch more. =0 

Mata Hari was a surprisingly complex and well written character. And the costume design was off the charts.

[jonathanraychapman]

Dracula (1931) Review - 8/10

This is honestly a classic film in every sense of the word.  And not just a monster classic.. a real film classic (worth watching any time of the year).  The film has got the silent-era black/white sensibilities in presentation (it would have worked with just subtitles and gains absolutely nothing from adding color) and is a marvel to behold.  The reason that the movie seems as polished and outstanding as it does, was that the Bram Stoker book had been converted to a stage play and had had many adaptations and scripts changes before it became a marketable property for film.  In order for this film to be made, it had to already be a stage success (it had made millions) and then some. Monster movies were somewhat taboo for the time after all.  And the explosion of the genre after this film says it all really.

There are so many social elements at play in this film - both consciously and unconsciously (maybe even amplified from the Bram Stoker work).  You've got the traditional vampire elements - forbidden lust, virginity, homosexuality, STDs (yeah syphilis was a thing in Victorian times), mesmerism, etc.  You've got the rich (Dracula being a nobleman) vs poor (like Renfield) element.  There's also slight religious elements - as per any vampire film, also (though surprisingly little in this film to be honest).  

Also, despite the film being somewhat sexual (there’s really just that one scene where Mina approaches Jonathan Harker with hungry eyes), it's very toned down.  I've heard in commentaries that the Spanish version was cut to be much more explicit (though still PG by today's standards).  There was also the notion of immigrants being an evil influence on society in these times and maybe some of that comes through as well.  Somehow I don’t think that was at play on purpose (maybe just part and parcel for the times the book was written).

I really (I mean.. I REALLY) enjoy Bela Legosi's performance in this film (absolutely a show-stealer - as he should be).  He's very regal and exudes confidence in his scenes (obviously well-rehearsed).  The interactions between him and Van Helsing are spectacular.  Being exposed by a mirror, he goes from being cool and confident to absolute rage from the trick.  And then he goes on to leave the room after complementing Helsing as being wise for someone who hasn't even lived one lifetime.  It's all well-done.  He’s menacing when he needs to be and he’s charming and confident at times as well.

The big surprise are the Renfield scenes (played by Dwight Frye).  They're so over the top that they just work.  That scene where he's got that creepy laugh is just iconic.  And there's the scene where he's climbing over the floor to a fainted maid like a spider.  To be a small character, her certainly owns his part - and it just makes this movie all the more of a masterpiece.  The later 90's movie would make Jonathan Harker much more of a character, but in this early film, Renfield steals his scenes.

It's not all perfect, however.  There are certainly many small errors in the film that are more peculiarities than anything.  Why is there a bee (an evil bee?) coming out of a tiny coffin?  Why are there possums and/or armadillos in the crypts?  Why is there a piece of cardboard in front of a lamp in several scenes?  

Why does Dracula look like a dwarf when approaching the box seat of Lucy and her father?  There's also the oddness of that scene - where the ladies are excited despite Dracula talking about his dump of a new place and expounding on death.  Maybe this is to show he has them memorized, but even so it comes off more than a little quirky.  

Then there's the weird scene where Harker is traveling to Dracula's castle - with all the goofy villagers that don't seem to be actors as much as extras with lines.  There’s also the way Dracula approaches Mina to take a bite (the angle of approach just isn’t going to work there).

But these are paltry things that take the film down just a tiny notch (they actually add a funny charm to the whole thing).  This is absolutely a great film and I think it's required by anyone into film to see.

[rm-renfield]

hi i was wondering if you have any recommendations on dracula adaptations?? any medium/style/etc is good

Hey sorry I did not answer this before my wifi is out ahahaSo I really really love Nosferatu, both the original and Werner Herzog's so check those out! They really are Dracula adaptations; the only reason for the name changes in the original were due to copyright infringement (and Herzog just makes the names the way they are in Dracula, although Mina is called Lucy, which is something that people do in a lot of Dracula adaptations)Definitely watch the 1931 film if you have not. The Christopher Lee Dracula movies are very entertaining, but I find the 1970 Count Dracula to be particularly interesting, in part because Klaus Kinski plays Renfield in that version.Everyone I know seems to really like Frank Langella's Dracula. I think it is good but not my favorite. You should check it out, though.Also Frank Wildhorn did a Dracula musical. It is not good by any means, but it is very... amusing. Another Dracula musical came out around the same time which is supposedly better but I cannot remember who did it. For a GOOD vampire musical that shares a lot of elements with Dracula while parodying common vampire tropes, I highly recommend Tanz Der Vampire.Also people really hate Coppola's Dracula because it does the whole Dracula/Mina love story thing but it is a really visually beautiful movie and I would at least give it a watch. The performances range from very good to what the fuck but I still think it is very enjoyable.I am sure I am forgetting some gems if any of my followers wanna pipe in!!