#i would say more but i don’t have time rn
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rebelssvy · 2 days ago
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drunk and needy
astumu x reader
LABELS: tipsy ego atsumu. sex. smut. he’s a flirt in this. *consensual sex duhhhhh
-my ushi fic is blowing up rn so go check it out!!!
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stumbling through your shared apartment you found your roommate and his friend aran. you didn’t know either of them well at all. you had only been sharing an apartment with the setter for about two months now.
he was the type of guy that was intimidating. someone you chose to watch from a distance.
“s-so sorry about him. i can put him to bed. we just went out for drinks…” aran voiced as he helped his friend through your shared door way.
the professional volleyball player never seemed one to put away a drink. at least not in this manner. his eyes were litted low, and his cheeks glowed of rose colored blush.
he was conscious, more tipsy then drunk if anything.
“it’s ok, you’ve done enough. i can help out and get him to his room. get home safe.” you motioned patting a friendly hand on arans chest. before taking atsumu’s hand in yours.
“oh- ok! have a good night.” aran said while dismissing himself.
you and atsumu weren’t ever really that close. knowing surface level facts about him. and sharing your daily conversations. but you never really knew him.
“fuckkkkk…” he groaned out following behind you. hand still in yours.
you turned around to the man, seeing if there was a problem.
your eyes were met with a gaze you had never seen before.
you continued on to his room finally forcing him to sit on the edge of the bed.
you turned around to leave, but something stopped you. he suddenly wrapped his arms around your waist.
“y/nn… your so hot- fuck.” he said out of the blue. your heart stopped. did he really think that?
“you don’t even know it but you turn me on so bad. even just looking at your ass when you dragged me here. fuck- it gave me a boner.” he stated looking up at you. hands firm on your body.
“atsumu, you don’t mean that your just drunk.” you say in a serious tone.
“oh but i do mean it. and im not drunk. i just had some shots awhile ago. i pissed it out of my system.” he said in a vulgar tone.
what was his deal?
………..
but there he had you. doggy style. ass up as he pounded you from behind. your roommate that you had led to his room moments ago now had his cock in your gummy walls.
“fuck i knew you wanted this cock. your so fucking obvious with the way you look at me. you always wanted me to fuck you isn’t that right?” he said through pounds.
you really shouldn’t be doing this.
“nn..just shut up-“ you moaned out. you didn’t have anything to say. embarrassing enough as it is he had control of you right now.
“cmon y/n you know you like it” he said.
he was so dramatic.
you cletched at his words regardless. because you really did like it.
“ohh.. fuck- i felt that. you do like it huh baby..?” saying with a hard slap to your ass.
you grabbed at your sheets whatever you could claw at.
“mmm- yea. you like all of me don’t you. i notice the way you stare at me.” he pushed your back down making your arch more significant.
you could feel his cock everywhere.
the sensation was tooooo overwhelming.
“atsumu…” you moaned out.
“i know your almost there… cum on my cock baby girl. cmon.” he said plunging his length in and out of you.
“your such a pretty girl. you know it too. we would make su- ch a cute couple.” he groaned out.
your drool was starting to collect on the sheets.
you felt the coil in your core. you were really close. it was all. too. much.
his pace sped up, and his cock his deeper then before.
“mmm- yea cmon baby. cum on my cock.” he groaned giving your ass another slap.
before you knew it your body pulsed around his length. squeezing him, aching for him to stay inside you.
“f-fuck.” he moaned out. your gummy walls clenched around him.
you blabbered out randoms about how he was so hot and so so good.
his ego was on a next level high.
he stayed in you barley pulling out in time. cumming on your ass.
he stared at your fucked out expression.
“cmon doll dontcha’ think we would be a cute couple.” he said in a playful tone as if he didn’t just fuck your brains out.
……………………………………………………………………………….
- this could be so much better idk. help me.
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3rachaslut · 16 hours ago
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https://www.tumblr.com/3rachaslut/729194123843731456/i-saw-the-virgin-partner-post-and-i-just-want-to?source=share
We need maknae line too of this please
you got it!
a/n: it’s late and my eyes are stinging but i’m desperate to post this. i’ve proof read once but the writing could still be trashy who knows?🤷🏻‍♀️
——————————
virgin!skz x female reader MAKNAE LINE
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cw: SMUT MINORS DNI !! pet names, a lot of fluff, boyfriend & girlfriend skzxreader
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— hanji
“y/n…” han would say and you’d look at him with doe eyes as you always do that makes him melt. “yes baby?” you say, looking up from your phone. “um…”
he would run his hand up your thigh whilst you wait patiently for him to speak. his eyes would be flitting between you and his hand SO nervously. (it’s so cute!)
“i think im uhh.. i’m.. ready” he would say so hesitantly whilst refusing to even look at you from embarrassment. your eyes would actually light up from anticipation, questioning yourself if you even heard him correctly. the silence in the air whist you process what he just said would have him dying inside from embarrassment.
“really hannie? are your sure?” you try your best not to sound elated just in case he felt pressured but omg how you’ve been waiting for him to say that.
the way he would look into your eyes looking so nervous as you smile back at him trying to make him feel more at ease is so adorable!! “i think so. i’ve been thinking about you a lot.. like.. sexually” he would say and you’d chuckle adoringly at him “yeah i gathered that baby”
he would lowkey be so scared to touch all over your body but hearing your blissful moans encourages him to do so. (imagine his hands all over you OMG) soon he’s kissing up and down your thighs getting closer and closer to your pussy and your breath would be jagged which he smirks at.
“can i baby?” “PLEASE hannie please!” you. have. been. waiting. for. this. moment. your eyes would roll back into your head when you feel his tongue lick a strip up your cunt, shockwaves being sent to your clit omfggg. you would come so fucking hard and han is absolutely amazed at the sight.
“do you wanna.. no pressure!” you would assure him that you were MORE than happy to do whatever he’s comfortable with as it is his first time. lots and lots of whines from hanji like omfg he won’t be quiet (and we love that for us!)
he would try so so hard not to come too fast for you but oh how euphoric you feel he just can’t help it. the way you would both cuddle after you come back down is absolutely adorable omg you are both so cute AHH
(sorry for the ramble, the man’s my bias i can’t stop thinking about lovely, cute, nervous hannie)
— felix
felix is definitely the type to get a boner when you’re both play fighting in the living room during the adverts of the series you’re both watching. (sns) but how you’d usually both just laugh it off, this time he’s like “you can.. touch it if you want..” and you’d be so taken aback.
of course you want to JUMP at the opportunity but you’re still cautious. “are you sure lix? i don’t wanna rush anyth-“ “im ready y/n” he would say and the look in his eyes of nervousness and desperation warm your heart. you wanna give your all to him.
slowly you would slide your hand under the band of his sweatpants, gently running your finger under the length of his cock and the slight stimulation has he whimpering. he’s NEVER felt any sensation like this before and he’s literally ascending. you’d run kisses all over his neck, only adding to the pleasure he would be feeling omg. (he is so desperate for you rn)
you’d look into his eyes for approval before removing his sweats and boxers and holy- he looks gorgeous! (i’m actually dead) he’d be shivering in anticipation. “please y/n i need you baby” and you would be more than happy to oblige. sooo slowly you would start riding him and his mouth would drop open letting out strings of moans and groans ahh.
you’d lean down to plant kisses all over his neck and cheeks, you just wanna worship him. (i’m gonna cry)
when he comes, he would grip both your cheeks, staring into your beautiful eyes and strings of curses would leave his mouth as you smile down at him.
“i’m so proud of you lixie”
“i love you y/n”
— seungmin
allll minnie wants to do is make you feel like the most adored girl in the world by him. you’d come home from such a shit day at work and find him on the sofa, tuck yourself in next to him and he’d plant a kiss on your head. “bad day baby?” he says. “very” you’d lift your head up for a kiss in which he would reciprocate but would then obviously turn into a make out session.
what you wouldn’t expect though is the fact that he would be grabbing your hand and placing it on top of the rock hard tent in his jeans. clearly he wants you to take it slightly further? right? you would put a slight bit of pressure on top and start to rub your hand up and down which would elicit a BEAUTIFUL moan from him. “is this okay min?” “yes.. p- please”
he would undo his jeans (still making out with you duh) and you try your best to stop yourself from kicking your feet in happiness from the whole situation. “are you sure?” you say worried. “i’m 100% sure” he assures and you smile into the kiss.
lotsss of foreplay whilst seungmin is working up the confidence to do this properly with you. you really didn’t mind how this went, you were just so happy to finally be intimate with your favourite man.
you’d straddle his lap, his cock directly underneath your pussy and you give him a quick glance which he nods in response to. slowly, youd lower yourself onto him and he throws his head back in bliss against the couch. his hands would be roaming all over your thighs, torso, hips, ass (he CANNOT get enough of your body!)
“fuck baby- i’m sorry- i’m gonna cum” he would grunt out, lowkey embarrassed afff but you wouldn’t mind. it’s understandable. “gonna cu- ah”.
“omg that’s so embarrassing” he would say covering his face. you’d move his hands away to see his gorgeous face “i really don’t mind minnie”
“we will have to try again later…”
— jeongin
picture this: you and innie in your pjs watching a film after all the boys have left the apartment. (aww so cute BUT-) he leans over to place kisses on your collar bone whilst running his fingertips up your thigh. instantly you begin to feel yourself getting worked up…
“innie..” you’d say as your breath catches. “i wanna make you feel good babygirl” he would say in reply. where has this suddenly come from? what does he mean by that? your eyes would widen in shock. does he mean what you think he means? “lift up baby” and you do, he pulls your shorts and panties from underneath you soon finding your pussy and slowly sliding his fingertips inside your folds.
you would gasp and throw a hand over your mouth. innie has NEVER touched you like this before and you felt absolutely over the moon, the new sensations beginning to make you feel animalistic. “innie are you sure you’re okay to-“ he would disregard your worries with a kiss on your lips (omfg he’s so hot).
the way he would rub his fingertips around your clit has you writhing underneath him and you desperately try and get his cock out of his pj pants. he would moan down your ear at the feeling of your hands on him and that would only turn you on tenfold.
he would lean you to lay on your back on the couch and spread your legs slowly. “you’re so fucking beautiful y/n” (& that’s facts, reader!) “please innie i want you so bad” (also facts) and he would push into you slowly, his body shaking at the new incredible sensation.
whimpery. jeongin. !!!!
the way he would make out with you whilst he’s coming is so cute i could cry. (he loves you sm ahh)
“i love you innie” “i love you too baby”
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eddiegettingshot · 12 hours ago
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The whole Eddie moving to Texas thing I feel like is how they continue the story of Eddie actively choosing joy for himself and also using it as a way for Eddie to finally stand up to his parents. Rn he sees the situation as this:
My son is in El Paso because of a mistake I made. I’m missing out on him growing up. Therefore, I will move to El Paso to be with my son. Even though my son hasn’t said anything about me wanting to move there or him staying there permanently, I will assume this is what he wants therefore it’s the best decision for both of us.
But once he realizes that if he actually wants to make a decision on what is “best for Christopher,” he needs to make a decision on where he himself is the happiest. Which is definitely away from his own parents. He needs to choose his own joy for once instead of someone else’s, because sacrificing himself for what he thinks what Chris wants won’t help either of them in the long run.
Once he does this, some of the situation will be still somewhat the same, but Eddie will also highlight how his parents role in this has led the situation to where it is now. He’ll finally stop punishing himself for making this mistake, and instead will start trying to fix it.
With this new perspective, Eddie will start viewing the situation like this:
My son went to El Paso because of a mistake I made, but he’s still in El Paso because my parents were too eager to scoop him up when they found out about the mistake I had made. (We saw him touch on this lightly already during conversation with the priest). I’m missing out on him growing up because the adults who are taking care of him currently aren’t telling me stuff about my son that I should know. Therefore, instead of moving to El Paso to be with my son, I will visit El Paso to be with my son. And since my son hasn’t said anything about wanting to stay in El Paso permanently, I will talk to him while I’m there visiting him about what he wants instead of just assuming what he wants. What is best for me is to be in LA where I have built a career, and with it a family. And what’s best for Christopher is for him to be with me, in a place where I’m the happiest. Therefore I will fight to get him back.
Ok I’m done rambling. Just wanted to say that I agree with you that I don’t think Eddie actually going to move to El Paso, because it would be reductive to his most recent storyline.
i agree that this is related to his choosing joy, but i kind of really disagree with this reading. you're framing it as a mistake in eddie's thought process but i fundamentally do not think that this is him making a poor decision because he's making assumptions about what chris wants. he's doing this based on quite literally what he is being shown and told. chris KNOWS that eddie wants him to come home. eddie's parents KNOW that eddie wants chris to come home. but there is literally no sign that chris seems interested in doing that at this point because eddie's parents are doing nothing to foster reconciliation AND eddie's parents have set up a situation wherein eddie asking that question looks like possibly threatening chris's happiness—which is fragile because of HIM. what eddie knows is that christopher left los angeles to get away from him. moving to el paso is going against what eddie believes christopher wants. like, yes, he's making a sacrifice, but it's not for chris's own good, it's for HIS own good.
the point is that eddie doesn't want to sit in los angeles 800 miles away from his son waiting and hoping that chris will change his mind or his parents will suddenly start telling him things. it makes him MORE miserable to be far away from chris. THAT is why he's considering moving to texas: because getting to watch chris grow up is a part of EDDIE'S joy. this IS the only choice he feels like he can make in order to fight for their relationship because he literally HAS been trying this whole time to do what he thinks is best for chris and punishing himself in the process—staying away and letting things happen—and all it's done is driven a wedge in between them. which is why he's not doing that anymore!
choosing to be where christopher is IS him choosing joy in whatever way he can, without feeling like he's putting chris at risk! because, yes, eddie needs to choose joy, but what's just as important to him is that chris is still allowed to make choices. this IS the beginning of him fighting for chris! but you're assuming that he has a full picture of what's happening, and that he's actually in a position where he and chris can have an honest conversation without risking someone getting hurt, and that's just not the case at all.
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mejaemin · 2 days ago
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dafuq?- xu minghao
wc: 0.5k
summary: you try the dafuq trend on your boyfriend, minghao
warnings: crack, nothing else rlly!
an: CONGRATS TO SVT FOR WINNING THEIR DAESANGS !!! seeing them all cry broke me ngl… anyways to celebrate here’s this silly little thing i wrote spontaneously just now, including the main subject of my thoughts (totally not bc im working on a hao oneshot rn…)
───── ⋆⋅ ⊹ ⁺ 𐔌 ᩧ ຼ ͡ ৯ ♡໒⁀ ᩧຼ ꒱ིྀ ⁺ ⊹ ⋅⋆ ─────
you sit down with minghao, three sets of mugs in front of you. on the dining table’s centerpiece, your phone rests on it with the camera open. your press a kiss to your boyfriend’s lips before hitting record.
his hand slips around your waist, and you didn’t notice, but future you is so happy you were able to capture the look of pure love on his face. “you know, i never really understood why you felt the need to record everything we do like this, but i looked back on one of the videos and it was actually kind of entertaining.” he says, kissing your hair. he’s referencing the ‘vlogs’ you have a tendency to record when you’re with him. per his request you don’t post them, but your favorite pastime is looking through them and occasionally sending a clip to your shared groupchat.
“i know right? your face is always so funny, like ‘oh this feels so dumb, blah blah blah, but my cute girlfriend enjoys it so okay!’ and it always makes me laugh. dafuq?”
it takes everything in you to not burst out laughing at the way his eyebrow immediately lifts, looking between your face and the camera. you sigh, disguising your giggle as a cough before sliding the three mugs into frame.
“anyways.. me and my boyfriend, say hi.” you gesture to him, and he waves to the camera with his signature :I face. “..are going to be trying three new tea flavors, dafuq?”
this time, his reaction is a little more harsh as he gives you a side eye, a slight grimace pulling on his lips. when you turn to look at him, his eyes squint as if he’s trying to see through your innocent facade. finally, he leans back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. “what? go on.” he gestures to the drinks in front of you.
you smile. “okay! so first is this osmanthus one. i’ll try first, dafuq?” bringing the mug to your lips, you take a sip. it’s unfortunate that you’re in the middle of trying to prank your boyfriend because it really does taste good, but the show must go on.
you give the cup to minghao, swallowing before nodding enthusiastically. “good! i really like it, dafuq? what do you think, babe?” you turn to him, tilting your head slightly.
he sighs, putting the cup down on the table before responding. “it would taste better if you stopped saying that. i love you, but you sound stupid.” he deadpans.
that’s all it takes before you break down laughing, folding over in your chair as you bring yourself to tears. he just sits there, with a look that screams ‘i do not associate with such idiocy’. once you finally calm down, you’re wiping tears from your eyes.
“oh my god, hao! i was joking, jeonghan sent me a tiktok of someone doing that and i just had to-“ he cuts you off, pressing a kiss to your lips.
“and that’s exactly where you went wrong, falling victim to his bullshit.”
───── ⋆⋅ ⊹ ⁺ 𐔌 ᩧ ຼ ͡ ৯ ♡໒⁀ ᩧຼ ꒱ིྀ ⁺ ⊹ ⋅⋆ ─────
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sky-fire-forever · 3 days ago
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DADWC time :D How does ❛  i know things aren't easy right now, but i want to remain a fixture in your life. after all, you're one in mine.  ❜ for Rook/Lucanis sound?? Obsessed about this pairing rn!
Thank you for the prompt! I tried something new with this, with it being from the point of view of someone outside of the pairing I’m writing it for. You can be the judge of how it turned out.
For @dadrunkwriting - Dragon Age: The Veilguard Spoilers
My Rook in this is Voltah de Riva, who uses they/them pronouns.
Caterina does not believe herself to be an unkind woman. Strict, perhaps, but it’s out of necessity. Everything she’s done has been for the good of her family, for the betterment of those who have survived. She’s lost too much to go soft now and lose it all. 
Part of wanting the best for her family is wanting the best partners for those who remain. Lucanis is the First Talon now and if he is to wed, he deserves the best, someone who will support him and who can fend for themselves if things turn sour. He deserves someone who will protect their standing and can provide heirs to house Dellamorte. 
What he doesn’t need is a Crow from another house grasping at power and encouraging dangerous ideas. 
“I fail to see the problem,” Lucanis says, his voice tight with irritation he can hardly contain. “Rook has done more than prove themself. They not only saved the world, but they helped put an end to Ilario’s misdeeds, they helped save you and they stopped a ravaging dragon from destroying Treviso. What more could you ask from them?” 
Caterina leans against her cane, a frown upon her lips. “Surely you can not be so blind, Lucanis.” It hurts her to break her grandson’s heart this way, but it’s far better than the alternative. “The de Rivas want the title of First Talon. You are standing in the way of that. All it would take would be your death and then–”
“Rook would never.” Lucanis sounds offended by the very idea. “They could not care less about my title. Their interest in me long predated my appointment as First Talon and I have no doubt that they would continue to love me if I were to lose that title entirely.” 
“You must be practical,” Caterina insists. “This is Viago’s protege. Do you not think he has trained them well? To manipulate and deceive?” 
“No more than any other Crow.” 
“But they are a Crow,” Caterina reminds him. “A Crow of a lesser standing who stands to win much by building a relationship with you. That is not even to speak of the way they encourage that thing inside of you.”
“Don’t bring Spite into this,” Lucanis warns.
“It is a demon, Lucanis. One that we should be focused on removing as soon as possible.” 
“As I have told you before, there is no separating us now.”
“Do you know that? Or are you simply unwilling to try?” She presses. “Because Rook told you not to bother trying?”
The idea of a demon remaining permanently within her grandson is terrifying in its possibility. It’s even more frightening that Lucanis doesn’t seem the least bit concerned with removing the foul creature inside of him. All because a pretty face told him to accept the demon as part of him. 
Caterina knows better. She knows her grandson is no demon. 
“Rook did not–”
“Would you give up your entire life for them? Throw away all we have worked for? For an upstart and a demon?” 
“That’s enough!” Lucanis snaps and Caterina is caught off guard enough to fall silent. “Enough. Please.” His voice turns from harsh to soft in a moment, guilt bleeding into his tone. 
She grips her cane tightly. “These are the questions you must ask yourself, Lucanis,” she says. “You can not run from them forever.” 
She leaves him to ponder her words, but doesn’t stray far, listening in to see how he reacts to what she has to say. She hopes he’ll listen, prays that he’ll see sense and abandon this childish romance of his. She wants nothing more than his happiness, save for his survival. 
She hears him sigh and she hesitates only a moment before following him out of the room. She sticks to the shadows, knowing from years of training how to follow even the most perceptive men without being spotted. She uses her old tricks now, trailing her grandson as he leaves the estate and climbs to the rooftops. 
She spots who he’s meeting right away, Rook’s face lit by moonlight as they pace back and forth on the ledge. 
They look up as Lucanis approaches, their face breaking into a grin. “So, how’d it go?” When Lucanis doesn’t respond, they whistle. “That bad, huh?” 
“I don’t understand it,” Lucanis says. “I thought she would see reason, but it’s like she’s incapable of believing our love is for love’s sake. Everything appears as a bid for power to her.” 
��Guess I am the power-hungry type,” Rook jokes. “I mean, it’s always been my dream to take over the world!” 
“Rook, please. Be serious.” 
Rook’s smile falls and they sit on the edge of the roof, their legs dangling off the side. “What do you want me to say, Lucanis?” They ask. “Your grandmother isn’t going to change her mind about me no matter what I do. She isn’t that kind of woman.” 
Lucanis sits beside them. “I know.”
“Then what do you want to do?” 
He sighs, considering. “I know things aren’t easy right now, but I want to remain a fixture in your life,” he says. “After all, you’re one in mine.”
Rook studies his face in the moonlight. “Good,” they say eventually. “I’m not letting you go that easily, Dellamorte.” 
“I would hope not.” 
The way Lucanis looks at his lover in what is believed to be a private moment gives Caterina a moment of hesitation. There’s love there, genuine and passionate. It’s more affection than she’s ever seen on her grandson’s face before. 
She hopes that love doesn’t get him killed.
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rollercoasterwords · 6 months ago
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What other fandoms do you think you’d write for? Or are you strictly an HP writer?
PS. Love ATWMD and THTF. Your writing is impeccable.
i’ve written a captive prince & succession fic as well so! & have also briefly written fics in some other fandoms when i was much younger which r now too embarrassing 2 name lmao
honestly not sure what other fandoms i’d write for it honestly just comes down 2 whether i’m gripped w an idea for certain characters…would love 2 escape hp fandom lol but i think part of why it’s sucked me in so bad is that i like fucking around w the holes in the canon universe…like most of the marauders fic i’ve written has been either canon compliant or canon divergent & me going “hmmm what would these characters do in this context” & now bc i’ve spent so much time thinking abt & writing them it’s just also becoming easy 2 plug these characters into aus 🤧
actually thinking abt my fic writing experience generally the thing that tends 2 make me wanna write fic is if there’s something abt canon that i wanna patch in…like my captive prince fic is just canon but from a different character’s pov & my succession fic is just “what if kenstewy were canon” lol. have thought abt writing aftg from andrew’s pov & the first book of the feverwake duology from dara’s pov simply bc that’s something i enjoyed doing w atyd & captive prince but never actually did…guess i could also see myself potentially writing spn fic if i came up w an idea i liked…& honestly i think if i ever reread trc i might go crazy for real & could then potentially decide 2 write fic who knows. but atp i feel like marauders fic has just become my comfort zone…it’s just a weird balance to strike where a story has to have characters i love but be unsatisfying (poorly written/queerbait/not actually queerbait but i’m delusional/would be fun 2 see from another character’s pov) enough that there r gaps i wanna fill. so like there r various stories/franchises/series i’ve loved where i’ve just never felt compelled at all 2 read or write fic bc i got everything i wanted out of the story etc!
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starlooove · 1 month ago
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Sorry I loooove the idea of characters being bad parents in the future idkkkk
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mutalune · 5 months ago
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really wish there was a tag that separated “I’m having Big Angry and/or Angsty Opinions about Star Wars” from “I’m goofing off with Star Wars I’m playing in the sandbox none of this is real so yes I will make my blorbo and this random glub shitto go on an adventure that makes no logical sense” posts because there’s too much of the former and not enough of the latter for my current mental state
#starlight personal#the good news is that I finally have another ketamine appt scheduled and it’s sooner than I thought they’d have an opening#the bad news is that the appointment is not tomorrow and we’re kinda at the end of my mental-emotional rope#now kids this is what we call: an inherent flaw in my treatment plan that cannot be removed#because pretty much in an ideal world I’d have ketamine appointments every 6 weeks but 1) expensive and probs can’t afford that#2) they don’t have enough availability for that to be realistic 3) can’t take off of work THAT frequently without consequences#4) I would probably start to doubt reality if I was tripping that frequently 5) I don’t think docs would allow it#treatment resistant depression and anxiety my beloathed if we could just chill that’d be great#treatment resistant PMDD my other beloathed someday I will do my damnedest to cut you out of my body#idk not to be too selfpitying on main but god it fucking sucks that I appear to be doomed to another cycle based mood thing#PMDD means I get two good weeks two bad weeks#ketamine being the only effective treatment for whatever my brain’s got going on means two good months followed by x bad months#until my next appointment#which like! two good months is better than no good months I am grateful that something helps#I just wish it was a more convenient help and it could be applied more consistently than my psych office provides#also wish I didn’t have to call them 3 times to get it scheduled but it is what it is#also also wish that I had fewer of the physical side effects of my anxiety and wouldn’t wake up puking the min things are rough#this is all to say: I want silly SW headcanons and droid headcanons and silly fic ideas and not Everyone is Always Suffering#but I’m also too lazy (I.e brain cannot make decisions rn) to search for new tags that may give me more silly#which means time to browse my bookmarks for good good comfort fics I have saved I suppose#(this is lowkey why i want to physically fight everyone i know who’s like ‘yeah meds would help but idk :/‘ like!!!!!!!!#bro it’s a privilege to have access to meds and it’s a privilege to have a body that doesn’t turn on you the min you take one!!!!#just try 10mg of zoloft I would kill for 10mg of zoloft to not make me entirely incapable of functioning!!!)#I don’t mean that - you have a right to take or not take medication and everyone’s reasons may be their own#I just had my body and have some rough feelings around treating my issues being so expensive and inconvenient#and then feeling guilty b/c I know I’m lucky that I can afford it and can take off of work for it when I need to#like I am pretty lucky to have something that works and to have a care team that helped me get here#so I don’t wanna be ungrateful or unappreciative of my own luck in this and the work that went into getting here#I’d just also like it if I could change the circumstances slightly#make treatment on the weekends an option - get my psych office to have more than 2 trip sitters so scheduling isn’t so bad
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leviiackrman · 5 months ago
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I just found out what happens to dabi at the end of mha. Don’t talk to me.
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villainsidestep · 8 months ago
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got sad abt fawn’s little motel room again 😞
#gideon shut the hell up challenge#we were thinking abt it in canon but then thought abt it in v3/v3au so. now we have to talk abt those#themmy who gets to be the first to get invited over. it takes a bit to build up to it and then even after they all think they’re ready#it takes another few days to actually Work Up To It. themmy gets first pick bc they’re the least intrusive of the group#the ortegas are close to the group ofc but they are nosy and pushy but this is The Becker’s space. so they get told no when they ask#if they can tag along. (they ofc get approval later after a few times of themmy getting to visit#bc 1. they won’t stop asking but 2. they’re more comfortable w the permitted intrusion that they get a test run)#honestly I feel like one of the ortegas would offhandedly ask Whose room it is (bc they expect them each to have their own)#and the siblings are like no it’s Ours. plural. and then the topic gets dropped bc they’re skittish enough already they won’t push more rn#ohhh the besties giving them little house warming gifts to help spruce the place up but next time they go over it still looks just as plain#except u ask ‘hey what happened to [xyz]?’ and they retrieve it from wherever it’s squirreled away#solo!survivor au…. imagine having to go back to the motel room alone for the first time#you know where the traces of your siblings are hidden. but they aren’t in immediate sight so it feels so Empty.#digging out all of their belongings just to have them closer to you even if it goes against everything you’ve all done this whole time#maybe you don’t stay alone. maybe you invite an ortega over. maybe you invite both.#maybe they show up with a bottle of wine each and none of you say anything bc you don’t know what you even would#maybe they help you pack up everything to move apartments. maybe you don’t let them touch anything. maybe them just being there is enough
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binders-and-beanies · 6 months ago
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#sry I need to vent more abt my tattoo pain bc I physically cannot do anything productive rn im completely and totally incapacitated#can’t read anything beyond short posts or texts. can’t eat or move at all#tried to sleep through it so it would at least Be Tomorrow so I can get medical help. but the jolts of pain make me like Jump#hence me being sent home from work early today like it’s not even that I was complaining I was just flinching involuntarily so much#and was unable to work or function at all. thank god I don’t work retail rn I remember the pain of tattoo infections in that context#it’s so Abrupt it feels like I’m being stabbed or repeatedly bitten#literally trying not to scream bc I have a roommate. but he almost certainly hears me crying and saying ouch#which sucks bc I barely know the guy lol he has no context. At least on my drive home I could scream as much as I needed#literally would go to the ER if I could afford it and that sounds so dramatic bc it is#it doesn’t feel like it can wait. genuinely don’t know how I’m gonna get through the night#I haven’t slept in like 60 hours and I doubt I will tonight. but it hurts too much to even tell if I’m tired#and I don’t have time for this!! I have so much I need to be doing. I hate that the only way I can have Time is to be Extra Disabled#in a way that leaves me completely unable to do the things I normally can fight through despite burnout#and I was just at health services yesterday asking them to do insurance paperwork that they couldn’t do#it’s embarrassing having to be like hey I was just there but can I come back#I have Another tattoo infection but I pinky promise I take such good care of them#and my artist is like the best of the best too. it’s like it doesn’t matter what either of us does to keep me safe#and I know if anyone responds to this it will be to tell me to stop getting tattoos#but that’s literally like telling me not to get top surgery if I’m immunocompromised n might have recovery complications#both are equally important gender affirming medical procedures to me I’m not joking#and I hate always having to justify this whilst in agonizing pain. I hate answering the same things every time bc still no one believes me#I say this as someone who lives every moment in baseline pain that would have your average person writhing on the floor and I ignore it#this is truly unbearable if I hadn’t been through it a million times I would think it was life threatening#just needed to get it out ig. bc it’s all I can physically do. until health services opens in 12 hours#PLEASE let them have availability tomorrow bc i have literally no option on weekends#this is just. so upsetting and embarrassing. I don’t have time or emotional capacity for this#personal#mine#vent post
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lesbiansanemi · 7 months ago
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We’ve officially hit the point where I can’t fucking sleep because of this shit and on top of everything the AC went out I literally want to cry I’m so stressed I physically feel like shit like I need to throw up I’m so tired but between my stomach hurting, the stress, and the heat I can’t
#today he told me it ‘wasn’t fair’ that I expected him and his bf to move#just because I refused to get rid of my ‘disgusting cats’ and they would be ‘happier’ in a shelter#his reasonings for why they would be happier in a shelter were all things that they did not do/did not happen until he started this shit#‘they’re always hiding and you never spend time with them’#they hide from YOU#early morning and late at night when you’re in your room they’re fine#im out here rn just sitting with them giving them attention#also yeah I used to give them attention for AT LEAST several hours of the day#but after I essentially got chased out of all the common areas no obviously that wasn’t happening#man FUCK YOU#also sorry I don’t want to spend literal THOUSANDS more than I would other wise to fucking move#esp when YOU moving means no changes in your finances#you make over 50k a year I make barely 20k AND already have more bills to pay than you#why the FUCK should I be getting stuck with the far worse financial decision#and then to try and frame it like you’re getting treated ‘unfairly’ just because I won’t get rid of my cats for you??????#I genuinely hope the stupid fucking car your mom gave you explodes tomorrow idc idc idccccc#ESPECIALLY WHEN HE BOTH THREATENED AND SAID HE DIDNT CARE TO MOVE OUT#and when I said ‘great. do that’ he starts throwing this fucking fit#I hate him so much it is so goddamn UNREAL#I am dealing with a giant man baby who has never been told no in his life before now#and it’s really fucking showing#this is what happens when parents give their kids everything they want#and you have normie cis white man privilege and have also gotten every job/into every program you’ve ever wanted with minimal effort#so when someone finally says ‘no you don’t get whatever you want at my expense’#he has the most immature meltdowns fucking imaginable#kaz rambles
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steviescrystals · 4 months ago
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i’m fr gonna lose my mind :)
#been a minute since i’ve ranted in the tags on here hi hello#so i have this friend who is driving me absolutely insane#we’ve been friends for about a year or so and when we first met we clicked right away and got super close and hung out all the time#we met at work but neither of us works there anymore and it feels like our whole friendship is falling apart now that we don’t#i literally have not seen her in person once since the last time we worked together (march)#and even before that we didn’t hang out outside of work since december of last year#and i have grown very used to having friends that just do not put the same amount of effort as me into our friendships and it’s sucks#so i was starting to make my peace with the fact that we just weren’t really friends anymore#but then a few months ago she started texting me asking me to hang out all the time and she seemed way more like her old self#and immediately i got sucked back in and was all excited to see her again and have her back in my life fully#but she completely flaked on me three times in a row (not even cancelling our plans but waiting until the next day to give me an excuse)#which like i said i’m unfortunately used to but she literally was the one who invited ME to hang out every time#like why are you initiating plans with me and then ignoring my calls and texts when it comes time to actually hang out#then a few weeks ago she texted me again saying we should go to a concert together bc we hadn’t in a long time#and there happens to be a concert i’ve been wanting to go to on the 31st but had no one to go with#she said she was totally in and really excited and i bought the tickets a couple days later and texted her to tell her i had#got zero response for almost a week and then she texted me yesterday saying we should hang out this week#so i said yeah let’s do it but also this concert is literally in 2 days are you still coming with me#and no response! again! so now i have 2 days to try and find someone else who can go last minute bc it seems unlikely that she will#and i’m just so fucking confused bc why do YOU keep reaching out to ME just to flake out at the last minute every single time#like at this point it feels like she’s doing it on purpose just to see if i’ll keep tolerating her bullshit#and part of me wants to just cut her off bc she’s been a terrible friend to me for months at this point#but i can’t bring myself to do it bc i miss her so much anyway and when our friendship was good it was really fucking good#like i considered this girl one of my best friends and now it feels like she’s just playing games with me bc she’s bored#which sucks extra bc last year she was there for me when literally none of my long time friends were#like it’s bad enough that it seems like our friendship was conditional on us being coworkers#but it hurts more and more every time she reappears in my life just to ghost me again like genuinely why would you do that#so i’m really upset and pissed off rn and i have no idea wtf to do about the concert bc idk anyone else who likes the artist enough to go#vent#lj.txt
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pepprs · 1 year ago
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mutuals i got myself into a situation so sticky i don’t even know how to describe it (edit: *describes it* lol). please send thoughts of successful escape my way lol
#purrs#delete later#i SONT understand anything about retirement or insurance whatever and basically imightve signed a contract for smth i didn’t understand#fully and im so scared lol. and i feel so bad bc im stupid and i don’t understand anything and no matter how much peopel#xolain it to me i don’t understand it. i feel like a stupid silly naive little girl rn LOLLLLL i feel so sick#it’s probably fine and not that bad and i didn’t do the wrong step but im freaking out. not just bc of the money situation but also bc they#have to do a. medical exam on me to see how much i would have to pay or whatever 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃 wtf#im making it sound like a big bad scary freak thing isigned up for when really it’s not i don’t thin&. it’s just dividend lige insirance but#i don’t understand what any of it means and apparently other stuff is better. idk anything about retirement i only got into this stupid#situation because i had a mandatory retirement selection for work and ididnt understand anything so i scheduled a meeting with a retirement#counselor person to help me figure out which option would be the best for me and he was really nice and helped me a lot but then he started#saying he could help me w additional retirement stuff if i wanted to see what the options were and i was like sure and then he told me abt t#this thing and had me fill out / sign the application in that same meeting to ‘get the process started bc it takes. a long time’ even if i d#decided to pull out later it would be a good thing to get the ball rolling asap if i did end up wanting to do it. but i didn’t understand an#anythi ng and i went along with it anyway and now i might’ve fucked myself over so bad. except i probably didn’t but i feel so bad. bc he wa#was so nice and genuine but maybe he was just trying to sell me a product bc he gets a commission from the insurance company which i he told#me wheni asked him if im getting his help for free. i feel so stupid and guilty omg#and also i signed up for my first credit card but the interest rates are really high which i didn’t realize. and i can’t log into the bank a#account for some reason liek it says my acc doesn’t work. and hr fucked up my pay so i haven’t gotten a time sheet for like 2 pay periods an#and im getting retroactively paid in august but it’s just one more fucking thing and i haven’t gotten the chance to pick new benefits yet#and idk if i can / will bc of my stupid pay situation like i literaly don’t exist in the system rn apparently. i fucking hate all of this i#hate adulting i hate it i hate it i want to explode and hide forever and cry a lot. and my bank account isn’t even my own rn and i don’t und#understand anything about mony or insurance or benefits or credit cards or anything. im so overwhelmed FUCK
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inusmasha · 1 year ago
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#the news is so fucking horrible#my therapist told me a long time ago that I should take a step back from social media#like a year or two before the pandemic#bc i was in a state of having constant panic attacks that would trigger throat spasms that made it difficult to breath or swallow#anyway I get triggered by constant bad news bc of my shitty nervous system#but it’s calmed down enough where I felt safe coming back to at least tumblr#but god this past week with everything that’s happening in Gaza#me and my partner have been losing it#I don’t understand how we can watch the US gov and Israelí gov literally team up to steamroll an entire people in the span of a few weeks#and I don’t understand why some people find it appropriate to nitpick who’s more oppressed here#like guys hear me out#this might sound crazy#but I think the people trapped in occupied territory currently being bombed and raided rn don’t care about your identity politics#when ppl say that their government are going to another country to /eradicate evil/ in order to prevent another holocaust from happening#um#it’s horrifying#bc capitalism/fascism/hate has justified genocide#via the story of /we have a right to defend ourselves/#why is it so easy to dehumanize an entire group of people#how did it get to this point?#and tbh I don’t care about the history#this is about how people agree to go to war bc it’s okay if /they/ are the ones doing the oppressing#how you can say /innocent people in Gaza are dying/ and someone else can respond with /it’s not Israel’s problem bc hamas is a terrorist/#how can you sit there and comfort yourself with this hollow narrative when infrastructure is being destroyed via US funded bombs#their water supply cut their bodies catching diseases#a call to denounce the gov for their actions is not an antisemítico stance#people are dying people are dying people are dying and we keep saying never forget but people are still dying#I feel like I’m choking#I pray for the people of Palestine and the land and the olive groves
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rosicheeks · 2 years ago
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You've been so quiet lately, Princess. We love you and what you post be it a trickle or a tsunami. May you feel all the love and adoration we have for you when you read this and all the asks we send you.
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#^^ literally me rn#im ok im ok I’m ok (she’s not)#I can’t thank you enough for this message lovely#I know I’ve been bitching about it ever since I’ve moved#but guys this move has been ROUGH#I had no fucking clue how rough it truly would be#I wanna say since I’ve moved I’ve been able to properly chill for a total of 3 hours#(I moved back in the beginning of January)#my depression and all of my mental bullshit is at an all time low#the only thing I’ve found that kinda helps is smoking but my parents don’t get it and don’t approve so I have to smoke in my cars#and ever since I’ve moved I’ve had like 6??? close calls with the cops#im just so sick of this life#and then I feel bad bitching about everything cause my parents have it a billion times worse#my dad has to deal with so many physical problems that I can just feel him starting to give up#my mom can barely see and her eyes are make her entire head hurt#so she’s getting a surgery done soon (for only $10000)#and then my dad has to pay for a surgery where the fucking doctor fucked up and he’s still recovering from#and there’s literally nothing I can do#I know I need to get a job I’m just terrified if I get a job I’ll get even more depressed and I’ll get back into those suicidal feelings#im tired I’m sad I’m broke I wanna help my parents but I can’t so I sleep#im kicking myself SO MUCH for everything that happened. I wish I could go back and do it all over idk#I’ve been really really trying but it’s just been a struggle lately#I want to reply to people (especially my snap babes) cause I feel so awful for not being around but life has just been to much for me rn#and the absolute last thing I want to do is bring other people down with me… I want to be a light in people’s lives not a dark hole ya know#idk this is a lot and I wanted to reply to this differently but here you go#just know I see every single ask and interaction and it makes me smile so much#I can’t thank you guys enough for being a light for me right now 🥺#even if I don’t reply to your ask I see it and it always makes me smile 🥰🥰🥰🥰#I’m out of space but thank you so fucking much I seriously can’t thank you enough I love you 🥹😭#ask
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