#idc about their partners bro
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starlooove · 23 days ago
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Sorry I loooove the idea of characters being bad parents in the future idkkkk
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nobodybetterlookatme · 27 days ago
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Update: gave my asshole partner my lunch bc I always bring soup when I work and bro sounds like he's dying, he tried to give me his card so I could go buy food at one of the booths, I literally said ew and leaned away, he glared at me but said nothing. He's already gone through four masks bc he's literally soaking through them like 😭 I've never been so horrified at work and I've seen some shit lmao like this is so bad. We've got seven packs of tissues between us but I don't think they're gonna last all day, he literally won't stop sniffling and he's coughing like every thirty seconds, like I really don't think I'm gonna survive the shift and I don't think he is either 😭😭😭
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octowoman2419 · 11 months ago
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its a them
he has finally reunited with his princess
🍄⭐️♥️✨
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tiredsadpeach · 2 years ago
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Update they both hate me because I told the child one of them was harassing the acc he could block to try and stop it
#I knew they’d find out tbh and idc their reaction is all I need to know#the one that was harassing a minor is the same one someone said was a piece of shit when the psychiatrist stuff was happening#her bf stood by and watched her harass his friend like they’re both vague tweeting that oh well she didn’t know his age man idc the age just#made me more angry the fact that you did it in the first place is fucked up it always has been and y’all both know I think that#if y’all tweeted about not liking someone on priv and that was it I wouldn’t care#but it’s the constant pqrting because you know it’ll upset that person and give anxiety etc that makes it harassment and makes me mad#and now they’re both tweeting things like oh well you shouldn’t be following him at your big age how dare you disrespect us#an adult just knowing a minor is not a bad thing like holy shit get off the Internet please#plus I couldn’t message without following so I followed in hopes to be mutuals so I could warn him but I shouldn’t have to have an excuse#following isn’t some intimate thing y’all just wanna hate me more#she also tweeted about how I lied (I didn’t) and that she’d expose me#like for what? being a bad friend like two years ago? when we talked it out I fully agreed that yeah I shouldn’t have talked about those#topics etc bro I literally said there was no excuse and I’m sorry it all happened but it’s pretty obvious I have grown and changed to be#better you can’t expose me when I have receipts of me taking responsibility and doing what I could to show I was wrong#and I’m sorry how is trying to protect a minor who you are harassing the thing that drives you away for good#did I disrespect a toxic relationship oh no how dare I y’all need to get help friends of your partner shouldn’t be harassed just because bpd#jealousy like I have bpd too I really hate some of my bf’s friends and wish he wouldn’t talk to them but what do I do about it? nothing#i distract myself maybe but I know if I do what I want yknow like telling my bf to stop being friends with someone I know I’d be in the wron#and I know he should break up with me etc etc like that doesn’t mean I don’t have these thoughts which sure aren’t healthy but at least I’m#not fucking acting on them like at least give yourself a safe outlet idc when you just tweet about it on priv most of the time but this pqrt#shit has to stop if you wanna stay my friend I’m obviously at my limit with how y’all are both so content with how toxic y’all’s relationshi#is and won’t do anything about it to the point minors are being harassed but oh it’s okay I didn’t know and I stopped when I knew#how can you watch your bf harass a friend of yours just because y’all ARE FRIENDS god it’s so infuriating#she never apologized for the psychiatrist stuff btw lmao#I know they both want a reaction out of me so I’ll act first and apologize or something but I just don’t care anymore#I’m done man like that Drake and Josh episode but fuck Drake bell btw#kinda hope next time I open twt I’m blocked since they want a reaction so bad#like nah I’m tweeting like nothing happened because y’all really showed your priorities and morals#maybe y’all should do what your bpd tweets have been saying and just have eachother y’all don’t need anyone else
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comically-callous · 2 months ago
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I am currently OBSESSED with X-Men (thanks Deadpool and Wolverine). And I’m even more obsessed with Kurt Wagner. So, enjoy some headcanons of him. Or don’t. Idc.
Kurt Wagner x gn!reader headcanons
A/n: Hey, freaks. I’m back again. I wrote this at 1 a.m so some of these might get a little silly. Hope you enjoy. Requests are open 🧚‍♀️
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Before relationship:
Super touchy with everyone, I feel like we’ve all accepted this as canon. But, if he’s interested in you romantically he’ll be a bit shy about showing physical affection
Like, 100% that doesn’t stop him from hugging you whenever he’s excited or whatever. But, afterwards he’ll pull away, laugh, and give you a meek little “Sorry”
Very worried that he might somehow fumble so hard that you end up hating him
Like, he’ll make you drop your food or something and then worries for the next two days about how you might not like him anymore because of it (meanwhile you probably forgot it even happened lol)
Overall, just afraid of losing you. Like, he’s so scared to make any kind of move on you because what if you don’t like him that way? Now you don’t even wanna be his friend and it’s all his fault!
That being said, if you start giving him hints or signals, he’s probably gonna over analyze all of it.
Tell him you love spending time with him, and he’ll be spending a good 30 minutes just going over any and everything you possibly could’ve meant when saying that.
Be patient with him he’s not used to people being interested in him romantically.
During Relationship:
You tell him about all of the signals you hurled at him that he completely missed and he gets so embarrassed
Sorry, had to get that one out of the way cause I think it’s funny
He loves getting words of affirmation from you. Promoted or unprompted.
If you guys are just chilling and out of nowhere you’re like “You’re such a good boyfriend, Kurt ☺️” Bro, he’s about to get too excited and start doing backflips (/hj)
I fear he would ask “Would you still love me if i was a worm?” Like, in the middle of the night too when you’re both on the verge of passing out.
Loves cuddling. I won’t get too into it because I kinda wanna make a separate post just for cuddling hcs. But, I will say that he doesn’t really care how you guys are cuddling. As long as you’re both comfortable and as long as he gets to be touching you, he’s a happy little guy
He probably thanks God for blessing him with you at least once a day while praying
I feel like he’s the type to tell strangers about you. Whether you’re there or not, doesn’t matter. He just wants people to know that he’s in love and that he has to most lovely partner he could ever hope for ❤️❤️
Ok, I need to go to bed now. Goodnight, Kurt Wagner nation.
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dannyricsmirrorball · 1 year ago
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fifth wheel • ln4 part 3 ੈ✩‧₊˚
ੈ✩‧₊˚ pairing || lando norris x reader
ੈ✩‧₊˚ genre || social media au
ੈ✩‧₊˚ summary || y/n is always fifth wheeling george, carmen, alex, and lily.
ੈ✩‧₊˚ a/n || final part yay! also perf in time for lando’s p2!!! not proof read.
part 1 part 2
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liked by lorenzotl, patriciooward, and 762,871 others
alex_albon monte-carlo padel masters
tagged georgerussell63, yourusername, maxvertsappen1, landonorris, richardpardon
username1 max has friends?!
username2 zandvoort front two rows
charles_leclerc oh!
⤷ pierregasly it’s ok mate, we’ll play together
⤷ yourusername sorry 🥱 maybe if u brought alex and kika w u
username3 ok but how did they play if there was 5 of them, did they take turns?
⤷ username4 nah i bet y/n just sat on her phone and watched them play
alex_albon also P.S. y/n did not actually do anything
⤷ yourusername WDYM?! me and lando subbed 🧐
⤷ georgerussell63 he kept playing for u y/n?
⤷ yourusername HOW IS THAT MY FAULT, HE’S A BALL HOG!
⤷ alex_albon u forced him to play for u y/n.
⤷ yourusername this is defamation. i will not take this slander!
⤷ username4 called it
username5 maxverstappen new hyoerfixation incoming
f1 who won tho?
⤷ yourusername me ofc 😇
⤷ landonorris us*
⤷ yourusername sorry yes ofc team work makes the dream work!
⤷ maxverstappen1 but yourusername u didn’t even play?
⤷ landonorris i played for the both of us. she transferred her energy to me so i could play w our combined powers
⤷ username6 lando and y/n aren’t being hostile. we are so back!
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liked by danielricciardo, mclaren, and 632,091 others
landonorris my 🌟 girl
username7 this soft launch will be the death of me.
username8 the day we find out who she is, is the day that i die
danielricciardo watch out she’ll take over lando.jpg
maxfewtrell yuck right in front of me
yourusername whipped
⤷ landonorris sns
⤷ username9 i’m sorry? is that meant to mean sorry not sorry 😭😭 they’re actual children
username10 idc how many ppl call me delusional, it’s y/n FS
⤷ username11 ok grandma let’s get u to bed
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liked by romeobeckham, mickschumacher, and 97,032 others
yourusername spicy salmon nigiri u rock my world 🍣
username12 ok yeah rip my lando x y/n fantasies
username13 final confirmation we needed
username14 how long is this soft launch gonna last
landonorris gag
⤷ username15 someone sounds jealous 👀
⤷ landonorris sushi makes me sick
⤷ maxfewtrell such a baby
lilymhe gets a bf and forgets her best friends
⤷ alex_albon it’s ok lily just relax
⤷ lilymhe NO YOUVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS UR WHOLE LIFE ALEX DONT EVEN PRETEND
⤷ username16 i just know alex is so relieved that he doesn’t have share lily anymore
username17 does anyone else find it funny/weird that y/n will let rumours circle abt her and other drivers and lando will do the same w random ppl he’s talks to and they both just follow this kind of philosophy of just ignoring it bc it’s baseless but as soon as someone so much as hints to the idea of them together they go ham at squashing it
⤷ username18 maybe it’s bc they’re actually friends so they don’t want ppl to ruin it w all the rumours
⤷ username17 but that’s what i mean like they don’t mind the rumours abt their other friends but when it’s each other it’s like NO THATS NOT TRUE
⤷ username19 i will stand by that alex and george tried to set them up on that golf trip and they started taking but one of them or both fucked it up and now
⤷ username20 and i will stand by that they are actually together
⤷ username19 it’s ok to be a little delusional
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liked by username81, username4, and 18,409 others
f1wags y/n with lando recently… wonder how their partners feel about this…
tagged landonorris, yourusername
username21 nah no way they aren’t dating
⤷ username22 they’ve made it so clear they’re just friends
⤷ username21 bro look at how much they’re together, she’s literally in the paddock w him
⤷ username22 they’re friends??? makes sense that they’d hang out.
⤷ username21 yeah but she’s always been friends w him but is always in either williams or mercedes merch and motorhome but is suddenly a mclaren girly
username23 what a slut. she literally has a boyfriend and he has a girlfriend.
⤷ username24 she’s just mad that she can’t use alex and george anymore bc they probably saw her for who she is and is now leaching off lando
username25 ahhhh they’re so cute 🥹
username26 nah but i do feel lowkey bad for their partners bc if my s/o was acting like this w another person…
username27 imagine being his gf tho… like he’s refusing to show her face but is parading another girl around the paddock
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liked by carlossainz55, olliebearman, and 809,762 others
charles_leclerc tbt good times 🌊
tagged arthurleclerc, lorenzotl, alexandrasaintmleux, carla.brocker, charlotte2304, alex_albon, georgerussell63, yourusername, lilymhe, carmenmmundt, heidiberger, landonorris, danielricciardo
georgerussell63 …mate
yourusername party rockin 🤙🐚🌊😮‍💨🌅🏝️🏖️🏄‍♀️
⤷ username30 my girl is overcompensating bc she knows she can’t get out of this one
⤷ username31 what?
⤷ username30 i mean this pretty much confirms that y/n and lando are actually dating, like w all the photos of them and now that we know that they actually did see each other during the break
alexandrasaintmleux CHARLES what did i say abt posting w/o showing me first 😭
landonorris lol
⤷ username31 they are sweating
username32 you’re telling me that the leclerc family, all their gfs, lily, alex, george, carmen, daniel, heidi, y/n, AND lando ALL stayed in corsica together during part of the break AND WE DIDNT KNOW UNTIL KNOW
alex_albon at least i’m not THIS bad lilymhe
lilymhe charles…
danielricciardo LOL MATE
⤷ heidiberger_ don’t even danny
username33 IM SORRY BUT THIS IS SO CONFIRMATION ABT Y/N AND LANDO… I MEAN LOOK AT EVERYONES COMMENTS, THEYRE ALL STRESSING AND THIS WAS SO OBV A COUPLES TRIP
⤷ username34 i mean idk still like their comments to eachother are so passive aggressive and george, alex, and charles are really good mates w the both of them as well y/n is famed for being the biggest grid couple third wheel so maybe they were just being massive third wheels OR they also brought their partners but charles just didn’t tag them to keep it private
⤷ username35 or u guys hate to admit that y/n and lando are together and lando isn’t going to get w u 🤷‍♀️
username36 charles really came in w a bang
username37 the way charles’ silence is SOOOO loud
⤷ username38 yeah he is fs getting it in the gc
liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, lilymhe, alexandrasaintmleux, carmenmmundt, landonorris, georgerussell63, alex_albon, heidiberger_
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liked by georgerussell63, alex_albon, and 320,918 others
yourusername fuck it we ball
tagged landonorris
username42 OH
username43 ITS HAPPENING ITS HAPPENING Y/N LANDO HARD LAUNCH
lilymhe i knew you’d cave. all those soft launch photos i took and FOR WHAT. lasted a month 😐
charles_leclerc 🤍
⤷ yourusername this is ur fault
⤷ charles_leclerc whatttttt idk what ur talking abt
heidiberger_ i just heard danny let out an audible sigh
⤷ danielricciardo no more stress 😮‍💨
⤷ yourusername did better then i thought u would danny
⤷ heidiberger_ don’t be fooled… i think he told the entire rbr faculty
alex_albon see you’d think that this would mean they’d leave us alone…
⤷ yourusername never getting rid of us albono 😊
⤷ landonorris now why would u want that mate?! 😘
username57 the caption. she really said fuck it lets hard launch!
username58 they really squashed the slander
landonorris absolute legends i reckon
⤷ yourusername ballers
landonorris my girl 🧡
⤷ yourusername 🤭🫠
carlossainz55 finally
username34 what?! no way?! i’m shocked 😦 we are so shocked 🥱
mclaren we’ll take it from here williamsracing mercedesamgf1
team_quadrant the real boss 😌
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liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, and 570,398 others
landonorris cute.
username42 i can’t. they’re too cute.
username43 did he take her to his family home omfg 😭
maxfewtrell whippeddddd
⤷ yourusername 😐
⤷ maxfewtrell sorry y/n mb
danielricciardo cutsie
⤷ landonorris 😘😘
georgerussell63 double trouble
⤷ alex_albon god george u don’t have to say everything that comes to ur mind
lilymhe she’s so pretty
⤷ landonorris she is 😍
⤷ yourusername i love uuuuuu baby
⤷ landonorris i love u too love
⤷ yourusername oh.
⤷ landonorris oh.
⤷ lilymhe I LOVE U TOO LOVERRRR
⤷ alex_albon u get used to it landonorris
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liked by yourusername, lilymhe, and 126,090 others
lando.jpg my girl
tagged yourusername
username42 god i am not ur strongest soldier
danielricciardo peep the merch 😌
⤷ yourinstagram enchante danny 😉
yourinstagram shop the look enchante 🩷
⤷ enchante 😍😍
username43 they’re everything
heidiberger_ where’s mine? daniel3.jpg
⤷ daniel3.jpg COMING RIGHT UP
username44 lando is the standard
⤷ username45 never thought i’d see the day someone described lando norris as the standard
yourusername obsessed much 🤭
⤷ lando.jpg with u? always
⤷ yourusername oh 😳
yourusername my own jpg post?! i must be special
⤷ lando.jpg the specialist 🧡
⤷ yourusername oh 🤭
username46 dead at y/n being taken aback my lando’s comments
lilymhe my girl 😍😍😍
⤷ yourusername my girl 😘😘🤭🤭
⤷ lando.jpg pipe down miss alex_albon come collect ur girl
⤷ alex_albon don’t fight it mate
carmenmmundt prettiest girl in the world
⤷ lando.jpg that she is
username47 she’s come so far from her third wheeling days 🥹
⤷ alex_albon has she?
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bonus!
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liked by williamsracing, carmenmmundt, and 228,460 others
alex_albon proof that it changed nothing 😐
tagged yourusername, landonorris, lilymhe, carmenmmundt, georgerussell63
yourusername boohoo ��
landonorris u love us ❤️‍🔥
hope u enjoyed 🤍🤍
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shotmrmiller · 1 month ago
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If price has a girlfriend on the side I’ll get a boyfriend/girlfriend on the side, maybe nik is looking for an omega, or the Laswells are looking for a third wife. Idc about his feelings, you push me I’ll push back. (I’d cry my eyes out if I ever found out he was cheating😭)
not so much on the side it's just that he already had one prior and he's not just gonna cut everything off and throw you over his shoulder cuz biology says so. he's a loyal dog on this one. (and i agree w/ u like cheat WITH me not on me)
that's where all that nasty possessive thing comes in. sure. sure go to nik. it'll last a good 3 days before things abruptly end after they have a casual bro talk :)
even tho he's got a partner there will be an obvious disconnect between them that hadn't previously been there.
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base0h · 2 months ago
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Hello,
Heard you’re looking for ideas so…
Here’s a crack one: The Straw hats working in a department store
Would they become employee of the month? Would they be fired immediately?
a/n - IM WHEEZING AT THIS— you are GENIUS bro holy crap 😭🫶 dude luffy would get fired so fast it’s insane— and imma just add everyone bc why not 😂
Warnings ⚠️ - MAJOR crack, multiple characters, I’m kinda dumb and might’ve forgotten people
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they didn’t even make it past the interview 💀
.✩ kidd (tried killing the interviewer for asking him why he wanted to work there “I really am passionate about restocking— MF IM BROKE.”), buggy, bonney, paulie (did the same thing as kidd plus he parked in the manager’s parking spot)
literally within the first few seconds of the interview they’re hired | “My name is—“ “Can you start within the next few seconds?”
.✩ jimbei, koby, sabo, koala, izou, kaku, vivi
got fired the same day they started
.✩ luffy (ate the entire produce section and then asked the manager “is there more stuff in the back?”), corazon (he accidentally burnt the place down 😀), sanji (confessed his love and asked several female customers to marry him at his cash register), brook (asked for some poor random woman’s underwear 💀)
employee of the month every single month
.✩ jimbei, koby (old people always say how sweet he is to the manager bc he always helps them get the things they can’t reach 😭🫶), tashigi (kids hate her bc she catches them and scolds them if they take an extra candy/sticker from the cashier jar), vivi (accidentally gave herself this title when she’s the manager 💀)
the manager of the store
.✩ nami (steals money from the safe sometimes), aokiji (he literally never shows up to work on time and doesn’t give a shit what the employees do), akainu, fujitora, shanks (bro also does not care and comes to work hungover), dragon (has not shown up once since the interview), sengoku, garp, dadan, vivi, magellan
the sale sign flipper guy
.✩ zoro (if he manages to actually find his way to the store), bepo, ace, shachi, penguin, queen (you legit can’t miss him as you’re driving by 💀), yamato, oden, cat viper, bon clay, ivankov
they work solely in the back to avoid human interaction as much as possible
.✩ mihawk, law, smoker (he’s the guy that mans the big crane machine that moves huge boxes), hawkins, king, katakuri, smoker, lucci
they’re the CEOs of companies that are partners with the store and provide goods for the store to sell
.✩ crocodile (provides gut/immune supporting, healthy, all organic animal/pet food), doflamingo, kaido, big mom, whitebeard, moria (sells and produces copious amounts of Halloween costumes and other decorations)
actually decent employees
.✩ usopp, benn, x drake, robin, nojiko, baby 5, monet, vergo, franky, icebarg, bellamy (SHADOW FROM SK8 PLS TELL ME YALL SEE IT), hachi, killer
they start tweaking because they asked a customer how they were and they ignored them
.✩ shirahoshi (sobbing), bepo, sanji (asked a girl who had her headphones on), Uta (will get so pressed that they ignored her when in reality they just had headphones on)
they’re the reason why the store’s still in business | they’re basically the mascot
.✩ chopper, bepo, carrot, cat viper, dog storm
the dude everyone goes to for questions/help | “Idk go ask ___”
.✩ franky (has beef with cash register 4 bc it stops working for no reason only during his lunch break and never when he’s not doing anything), icebarg, kaku, usopp, lucci, jack, king, robin, jimbei
they’re the reason why no one likes to shop there | they have several weird allegations or felonies of some sort
.✩ trebol, caesar, diamante, dellinger, pica (he drives this mini car and always somehow fits inside it and takes up two spots in the parking lot), absalom, hogback (people have gone missing in the parking lot it’s scary), moria (would you wanna shop if you saw bro? Ik I wouldn’t 😭)
jobless for life ✌️
.✩ rayleigh (he slays idc), roger, yasopp
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a/n - I think i forgot people but eh 💀 the one piece brainrot is so back 🙏
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scekrex · 7 months ago
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I know there's a fandom thing going around that Adam doesn't like eating women out but.... bro I need to see trans! male! reader sitting on Adams face and getting eaten out... like..
I mean reader doesn't count cause he's a guy?? right?? it's not the same guys.. (I mean this in like Adams POV)
I also think it'd be silly if Adam WAS inexperienced in that.. category. Like, bro I want to humiliate him SO BAD!! I love his big ass ego but that makes me want to do it more.. So maybe the reader degrading him or talking Abt how inexperienced he is just to get on Adams nerves while he's eating him out?? I think it'd be silly.. Adam would fold if he was ever degraded or something by the reader, I mean he was constantly praised for being the first man, and was given a lot of special treatment so for the reader to make it CLEAR that he won't be the same way?? YES!! anyway I'm a little hungry for Adam guys sorry <3
Tbh I haven't heard of that headcanon yet but while I agree that Adam would not eat a woman out, he'd definitely suck dick and eat out trans dudes idc what everyone else says. To Adam it's just sometimes different to pleasure a dude with his mouth and I stand by that.
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Suck it up, big boy
pairing: Adam x trans!male!reader
warnings: language, oral sex, no use of female privates though (it's briefly implied that reader has a biological female body though)
note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers
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He tried to play it cool, tried to kill the voices in his head that were trying to tell him to pull away and tell you no. He was aware he could stop this at any given point, that you would not give him shit for doing so but he wanted to prove a point. He had bragged a little too much about knowing all the right ways to make you cum, he had dug his own grave when you had brought up that he could simply eat you out then and he had confidently responded with a cocky, ‘Yeah, no fucking problem’.
So when you lowered your hips until you sat on his face and Adam’s mind went completely blank, he wanted to fucking die again - for good this time though. He wanted to melt into the mattress and never come back. Fuck, why did you have to bring up the one thing he had just done once before and back then he had not fucking enjoyed it at all. Maybe that had been due to his partner being quite insensitive about him being inexperienced - you were different in any way and he knew that. It was also an entire different deal to eat a dude out, right? That was not comparable to eating out a woman despite you and his former female partners sharing the same sexual organs. Eating you out would be different, you were not a woman, you were a dude after all, just like Adam himself. Slowly the heavy fog that had clouded his mind lifted and he opened his mouth to let his tongue lick over your front entrance, a quiet moan fell from your lips and that encouraged Adam to keep going.
You were not able to hide the grin that had curled around your lips in victory. You had known it from the start, Adam had not the slightest idea what he was doing down there and for the first time ever since the both of you had started dating, your roles were reversed. For the first time it was Adam who had to learn how to please you instead of the other way around and you had to admit that you liked the thought of it a lot. And despite having no experience, he was trying his best - not that you’d let it slide that easily though. “I fucking knew you were all talk,” you hummed as you grinded your hips down against his face, your body tried to swallow his tongue but it seemed that Adam had other plans since he kept withdrawing it. Either he had other plans or he had no idea what he was supposed to do with himself. You were quick to notice the flinch that went through his body at your comment - the first man was used to a lot of your shit by now, degradation was not one of them. You felt how he wanted to pull back to argue and decided it was for the best to not let him, if he would need a serious break he’d let you know. “Don’t fucking talk about how good you are with your dirty mouth, Adam, show me instead,” you explained as you held his head in place by grabbing a fistful of his brown hair tightly, a needy moan rolled over Adam’s tongue and was sent right through your body.
The brunette’s tongue kept circling your entrance and you impatiently yanked on his hair as you growled, “Just fucking use your oh so magical tongue, dickmaster.” The nickname that usually sounded like a praise coming from your lips now sounded taunting and Adam was overwhelmed by the realization that he in fact liked it. His body reacted by bucking his hips up into thin air. Your free hand slapped his hip bone harshly before you pressed it against the mattress, “Behave, whore, you won’t cum until I taught you how to eat a man out properly.” And your words that sounded like a promise and a threat at the same time made his body shiver in excitement and another moan - this one was a little lower - fell from his lips.
With a shift of your hips your body was finally able to swallow Adam’s tongue and the choking noise that the brunette made at the sudden shift was music to your ears. “For your bragging about how good you are at this you’re pretty fucking weak, hun,” oh and you loved the way his body reacted to your mean sounding comments, the way his hips pressed up against the palm pinning it down, the way his hands - which were loosely holding your hips to keep them busy - would clench, nails digging into your skin to keep himself grounded. His golden eyes were open the entire time, scanning your body and its very move. “You’ve never done that before and it fucking shows,” you moaned as you kept grinding your hips against his face, trying to get is tongue to touch all the right areas, without him knowing where those are that turned out to be more tricky than you would have thought though. “Really thought I wouldn’t notice that you’re basically still a virgin when it comes to eating someone out, huh?” And that word - virgin - made Adam’s walls crumble, never in his entire life had someone called him that, let alone told him that he fucks like one. A high pitched whine left his throat and that sound you liked even more than the choking noise he had made earlier. “And someone like you dares to call himself dickmaster,” you huffed as the hand that had been busy with pinning his hips against the mattress teasingly ghosted over Adam’s erection, the brunette was quick to try and lean into your offering touch instantly. A muffled, “Fuck,” came from the man underneath you - well, at lest that was what Adam tried to say, the sound that actually left his lips sounded a little different. Not that either of you cared, no not really.
“Move your tongue to the right- no the other right, boo- oh fuck,” instructions he could definitely take and execute quite well despite the fact that he had been in a leading position his entire afterlife - he was the leader of the exorcists after all, not a really a position that would teach a person to execute orders well. Yet Adam did what you told him to do and earned himself a throaty moan of yours in return. “Look at the inexperienced bitch finally learning how to eat- oh dear God~” your degrading little comment was cut off by Adam thrusting his tongue all the way inside of you, licking down the inside of your walls and swallowing the liquid your body produced due to the lust flowing through your veins. Fuck, he surely had caught on quickly, huh? You felt the shiteating grin that you were sitting on and you did not like it - well, that was only partly true. You did like it that he seemed to grow more confident in his task, you did not like the control that took from you so the fist of yours that was still buried in his hair tightened in a warning manner. Adam’s hands grabbed a proper hold of your hips and slightly lifted them off his face to respond to your lust filled cry of Father’s name, “Not quite, but I’ll let it slide.” The fist in his hair tightened even more, then you yanked on the sweaty mess on his head firmly, drawing a beautiful sounding moan from your lover as you yanked his face closer to your privates again.
“Shut the fuck up and swallow, bitch,” you bit back a little harsher than you had intented to, but you knew Adam would not take that personally at all - if anything he would comment on it later how hot it was. His eyes locked onto yours as he continued to eat you out, the tongue of the first man was moving so skillfully by now, like it was his second nature, like he had been practicing this ever since he had been created. You knew better than anyone that wasn’t the case though. Moan after moan fell from your lips and the brunette underneath you drowned in the sounds you made for him, drowned in the thought of your body craving his just as much as his body was craving yours. Why was he so fucking good at this? He surely had no right to be, not when he was oh so inexperienced. You wanted to keep the dirty talk and therefore the degradation up but you had not enough air inside your lungs to do so, not when Adam kept drawing those beautiful sounds from you.
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starry-eyed-wild-child · 4 months ago
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🌻marcus headcanons🌻
a/n: there's no content on this man, so I'm doing it myself, don't come at me
adding the song because i can't help but think of marcus whenever I listen to it
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. marcus is actually the sweetest boy and i don't care what anyone says, this man always wants more than a one night stand
. will beg you to stay in the morning, to wake up with him, would probably guilt you a little - like 'c'mon, baby, you can't leave me alone in bed' 🥺
. loves, loves, loves dancing but is so fucking bad at it oh my god - he just wants to dance with you
. I don't actually think marcus sleeps around often, I think it's definitely a kinda every few months kinda thing. like I'm talking maybe three times a year
. is the cuddliest man, idc, I don't make the rules - he loves spooning and just holding you close
. I don't even know how you'd meet marcus tbh - I'd say in a club, but that's just too stereotypical and we ain't doing that. but it's probably true
. definitely works in finance or smth - idk bro, look at him and tell me I'm wrong
. marcus absolutely LOVES travelling, seeing new places - I don't think he's been out the states much, but he really wants to see europe and maybe thailand
. he's so sweet oh my god, he's the cliché of if you ask him his favourite thing about you he just goes 'everything' 🤗
. I actually think marcus is really, really smart, for some reason - he is just a dictionary of useless information, and just likes showing off what he knows. not in like a cocky way, he just likes ranting to people lmao
. loves to cook, and is surprisingly really good at it - it's like his love language. cooking for you in the morning, or dinner in the evening
. definitely gives me sugar daddy vibes, but that's probably just me lmao
. you know the drill, nsfw under the cut
. I don't think I really need to tell you all how good he is, we all know that this man would probably give you the best night of your life
. I see marcus as a huge switch. like, big switch. I'd say he's leaning towards being more dominant, but he's down to experiment
. loves leaving marks. both you on him, and him on you. run your nails down his back and he will be ON HIS KNEES
. loves using toys, and he knows exactly how to use them. probably knows about shit you've never even heard of
. he's not particularly loud to be honest, but when he cums he definitely groans a little louder than usual
. if it's a one night stand, I don't think marcus really sees the intimacy in it all - he's more about getting you both off. HOWEVER, if it's a partner, it's the most passionate, intimate thing ever
. is the king of giving head - I think this is because he enjoys it. he could die between your legs, and would die a very satisfied man
. he's down for getting risky - loves, loves, loves public sex - not anything too big, but enough that you'd probably end up getting caught
. loves fucking you in front of windows or mirrors, he loves having you watch yourself
. he's definitely above average, but I don't think it's anything crazy like, say, kappa - BUT he makes up for it because he's just so fucking good, man 😭
. PRAISE KINK - he loves praising you, not that bothered about being praised, but oh my god this man is such a puppy, and loves giving you praises and telling you how good you are for him, and how well you're taking him
. absolutely husband material, 9.5/10
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unicyclingskinwalker · 9 months ago
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Ganyu with a S/O who’s the embodiment of Sin of Wrath
Okay so this has been in my brain for DAYS! How I got this idea? Well my fellow XX and XY chromosomes (please don’t come at me if I didn’t include your gender okay ily) my friend asked me to so yeah. This is my first time writing so please tell if I got anything wrong.
Warning's: Ganyu being teased by Ninggaung, Gn!Reader, violence (kinda), Beidou on her shit again, SFW, fluff.
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• ARRGGGG THIS DYNAMIC IS SO CUTE. Since S/O is you know, the embodiment of Sin of Wrath, you can already assume they are a hot headed fellow.
•Just Ganyu being the absolute sweetheart she is, meanwhile S/O just blew up a whole hilichurl camp because one of them looked at them wrong.
• I’d like to imagine S/O is just very blunt with their words towards everyone else, except for Ganyu. Someone could say “Hey, am I ugly?” And S/O will just say without skipping a beat “Yes.”
• But Ganyu is a different case, because my girl has body image issues, she can ask S/O “Do you just pity me?” When she feels down, and S/O just looks at her like “bitch tf?”
• Then proceed to go on a 3 hour rant on how she is perfect.
• Now let’s talk about how Ganyu views S/O. At first encounter she was more or less fucking terrified of them. She was worried S/O would destroy Liyue, but as time went on, feelings developed and then BOOM
•Dating.
• She loves S/O with all her heart, but has to calm them down whenever something ticks them off. Some random citizen looked at Ganyu weird? Well now S/O is about to tackle the dude.
• Venting to S/O about someone was a bit snarky to her? S/O is now asking about any information they have on this person.
• My girl over works herself to exhaustion, S/O would swoop in and take her on a date as a fucking break.
• S/O would bring in small treats for her like strawberries. Also anytime you two go out on a date at a restaurant, you would be the one to say they got he order wrong.
• Also naps with her are the BEST! Pls let her rest her head on your shoulders, she needs it.
• Now her co workers.
• Ningguang would be concerned for well, the entirety of Liyue. The physical embodiment of the Sin of Wrath here? Yep, they are going into a watch list.
• Ningguang would be very on edge anytime they were near S/O but would cover it up. After a while, she be okay with S/O, since they’ve proven they’re not a threat to Liyue.
• When Ganyu and S/O start dating and news of it gets out, ohhh boy, Ganyu is in a world of teasing from Ningguang. Ning would walk up to Ganyu and start to ask her “Is your partner treating you fair? I hope he is.” Or something like that.
• Keqing would be the same case, but on edge for wayyy longer. Like even after when S/O started to date Ganyu. Idk, this girl gives off the vibes she does personal investigation on S/O for WEEKS.
•But at some point she’ll warm up to S/O, a tiny bit. Not a whole bunch but it’s progress. She will definitely be very happy that Ganyu found some joy in her life.
• Now Beidou. She honestly wouldn’t mind S/O that much but jokingly say to them, “I could use you for my crew!” While taking sip of her drink.
• One time, Beidou managed to convince S/O to help her get rid of some hilichurl camps. Well that ended with the hilichurl population at basically zero and the landscape unrecognizable.
• Yeah, S/O and Beidou got in trouble.
• Now Ganyu’s family, Zhongli, Xiao, Shenhe, and Cloud Retainer (Xianyun). (Yes I see them as a family. Yes it’s my own head cannon, idc, bite me.)
• I imagine Ganyu wanted to introduce S/O to them after they started dating.
• Zhongli would be questioning S/O. Since now he can actually see them in person we would ask so many questions about them. Bro would ask them what their most traumatic memory they have.
• Then ask if they like dogs…
• After like a whole court trial’s worth of questions, he would give the green light that he’s good.
• Cloud retainer/ Xianyun. She’s doing full on stalking. Not in a bad way, she just wants to make sure S/O is a good fit for Ganyu.
• At first she would HATE S/O because one, they are the physical embodiment of wrath, and two wrath = extreme violence, and violence is a red flag. She can’t have any harm done to Ganyu, who is practically her child.
• Now after Ganyu had to do some convincing and S/O being told to be on their best behavior, they got the green light! YAYAYA
•Xiao. First encounter and he would immediately pick up on the negative energy S/O has around them, and basically try to kill them, and Ganyu would have to stop it.
•After she explained to Xiao, he would look Ganyu, confused, look at S/O, look up and down, turn back to Ganyu and say “Really?”
• He’s gonna be so snarky towards S/O. Both of you guys would feel uneasy around each other after that incident.
• But you guys will be forced to apologize to each other at some point, likely by Ganyu. You two would still side eye each other but it’s fine.
• Xiao won’t verbally say it, but he will accept you at some point. So YAHOO
• I won’t have much for Shenhe since I don’t know much about her and I don’t want to mess her up so yeah.
• She stare down S/O for god knows how long. Just her mind thinking wether or not if S/O is a good fit.
• Shenhe would also ask some questions such as “What are you intentions with Ganyu? Will you harm her? Are you dangerous?” Answer wrong and you’re going to hear boss battle music.
• Then after some time she’s going to be all like “Okay, they’re fine.”
Alright that’s it for now! This was my first ever post and I hope I got things right enough! Okay ily, drink some water, have a snack or go to FUCKING SLEEP.
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snaillock · 1 year ago
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kurona ranze as your bf: random hcs
tags: male!reader, reader is taller than kurona(5’6), reader is a blue lock player, me gushing over a character that has literal crumbs of info available so i’m making this up as i go, oh my god he is literally a bipedal lemon shark
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kurona ranze. *sighs dreamily* kurona ranze…
he is literally a magenta lemon shark (*gasp* a strawberry lemonade shark… bro my fucking mind)
you two would literally be the “excuse me, he asked for no pickles” bf x standing behind you at the register bf
i do believe he has a good amount of self-confidence but only speaks when he feels it’s necessary so he’s completely cool with you being the more assertive one in the relationship
he is also so so loyal. one of the most loyal men you’ll ever meet and is just as reliable off the field as he is on field
i feel like he isn’t a big fan of pda so you gotta show him your love when you two are alone cause it feels a lot more special to him. besides you guys prob gotta hide it from all the bltv cameras anyway
when he warms up to the relationship more, he’ll absolutely love physical affection from you even becoming clingy for your attention once you two are alone
you absolutely love doting on him (i mean just look at him) and he clearly enjoys that type of attention from you so much but would never admit it out loud
he is literally the perfect height for easy discreet forehead kisses so you can simply sneak one in quickly and walk off before he can fully process it
it’s so cute how short he is that if you’re able to pick him up, you would (if he’s comfortable with it ofc) but if he gets a leg cramp during training, then that’s the perfect excuse to carry him off the field so he can rest
when he gets flustered, it’s just the most adorable sight ever. his cheeks getting just as pink as his hair and him nervously gritting his teeth, possibly hiding his face in his shirt collar
speaking of his hair if you two share the same dorm room together, you could offer to do his braid for him in the morning before practice or a big match. such a simple yet sweet act of affection that makes his heart flutter when he feels your hand going through his hair
you’ve ever seen those tiktoks of a lemon shark getting nose rubs? yeah it’s exactly like that
don’t get me started on his teeth. he seems pretty neutral about his shark like features so feel free to openly gush about how cute they are to him. he’ll probably let you poke and prod at the pointy ends when he feels like it
he gives me a partner who just randomly bites you affectionately vibes and i’m not just saying that bc of his serrated teeth (it is mainly bc of that) but i can imagine whenever he doesn’t feel like expressing his love verbally, he just gives you a good ol’ chomp right on the meat of your bicep!
the way he repeats his last words (it’s a speech tic idc what anyone says) is also so so endearing that part of his character is just *chefs kiss*
you two were probably pretty subtle about your relationship only bc you two mutually agreed on not being too open about it with the others plus your teammates won’t expect such a pairing anyway.
can you imagine their surprise when they do find out? it probably started out with some of the observant ones noticing how weirdly… ‘close’ you two have gotten. small rumors forming about what possible relationship you have with kurona, mainly thanks to you accidentally slipping out a pet name one time while you were greeting him in front of the team
until all their suspicions are confirmed when one of your teammates spots you two kissing when you thought you were completely inconspicuous and alone
once the secret was out, you two were certainly crowned the cutest boyfriends in blue lock
hello message from me from the future. if you want more male reader content, then check out more of my blog :3
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spidergutz-writes · 1 year ago
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What are some fluff hcs that you have for any and all of your handsome boys?? How would you spend a day with them? What are dates each of them would take you on?
meadow! Your spoiling me with all these delicious and amazing ideas!!
I’ll actually probably make this in 2 or 3 parts just so I can fit all mah bois :) (if requested, I will also add in some of my favorite gals!)
RED GUY:
Hand holding to the max!!
could be watching the most horrific thing unfold infront of him, and his hand would still be slotted in with yours
making dinner? He’s holding your hand.
watching tv? He’s holding your hand.
sleeping? Yup, he’s holding your hand!
he's a very shameless person when it comes to the softer things in your relationship
will not hesitate to pull you into his lap for cuddles.
also won’t hesitate to cling to you on every part of the day.
your cooking? Well so is he, now.
he loves cooking with you. It’s just so…normal.
normality is not something he experiences a lot, so even when you two are doing simple and mundane things, he enjoys it to the fullest :)
bro's sense of humor is so bad, but it gets to the point where it’s so ungodly terrible, that it becomes funny.
“Hey...what do you call a prisoner walking downstairs?”
“i dunno..What do ya call 'em?”
“..a CONDESCENDING… :D”
he thinks he’s funny, so please laugh :((
dates include him and you cooking a dessert of some sort.
his favorite is making apple cobbler pie with you :3
often you’ll end up with flour hand prints on your ass and some whipped cream on your nose.
he's just a silly guy doing silly things with his ooohh sooo silly partner!!
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JIN BUBAIGAWARA: (what? He dies? No. No he doesn’t. Not here. He lives. That’s the reality we have here. Deal with it. Go argue with the wall idc.)
my sweet sweet baby boy. Where should I start?
okay, before he overcomes his trauma:
Took his mask off infront of you once, and now he can’t stop.
hes addicted to how you kiss his scar
how you coo at him and tell him he’s so handsome 🥺
Will fight for you if it’s serious. He’s still scared he’s a clone :((
will stand up for you tho
anyone says anything bad about you? He’s cursing them out while his alter ego is making weirdly terrifying threats.
”YOU GOT SOMETHING TO SAY, HUH?” “I hope you sleepwalk into oncoming traffic...” “DONT YOU FUCKIN SAY ANYTHING ABOUT MY PARTNER” “I hope everyone you love leaves you.…”
Dates consist of you two sitting on top of rooftops while having a picnic. Talking shit, cuddling, and eating.
you two end up falling asleep in each others arm a lot, admiring the sunset or the moon.
he is a human heating pad. Like seriously. You don’t need a blanket when he’s around
Loves lying on his back with you laying on his chest :)
is a little shy :(
Thinks you don’t want others to know you two are a thing :(((
but when you hold his hand in public or in front of the league? He melts.
When you first kissed his lips over the mask in public? He cried a little
tears of joy :)
can’t cook for shit. That man burns water.
don’t ask me how, but you tasked him to make breakfast one morning, and a fire broke out.
there was also mayonnaise on your ceiling. Again, don’t ask, not even he knows.
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Simon Riley "Ghost" (this motherfucker doesn't die either. if anyone tells me otherwise, meet me at the Arby's parking lot at 6, BECAUSE I WILL FIGHT YOU)
oh my lawdy lawd. he is just SO FINE, WHERE DO I EVEN START??
this man has issues. he's really touch starved, but doesn't know how to accept any light touches.
he might shy away from your light advancements, because he's so used to any physical bringing harm or ill intent towards him.
but when you kiss his cheek, and hug his (slutty) little waist, he folds like a lawn chair on a hot summer day.
will scream, cry, throw up, roll on the ground, and promptly die if you ever serve him tea in a bowl (the French do this.)
likes to go to the gym with you. he loves to see you work out iykwim.
Ghost has never been a man for soft things, but he Isn't Ghost with you. With you, he's Simon Riley, a man who longs to have a sense of normalcy, a man who wants to take you out to nice restaurants, and a man who wants to bend down on one knee for you, and ask that burning question that lays in the back of his mind 24/7
he wants to do all of those things, but its going to take time. his insecurities tell him you deserve a man who can do more for you, but as always, you wash those thoughts away for him.
for now, his dates consist of concealed places, like the safety of either his, or your home, where he can take off his mask, safely. sitting, watching movies, drinking wine or scotch, and cuddling.
He's a big advocate on "actions speak louder than words" so he doesn't say "I love you" too often, but when he does say it? you better get the tissues. because he only says it during a really vulnerable moment of his, like when he's calming down from a PTSD induced flashback, or a panic attack, or when its late, in the middle of the night, when he knows its just him and his demons awake, with you sleeping soundly in his arms.
believe it or not, THIS MAN CAN COOK-
listen, i know he's British, and i know he's in the military, but that man just radiates "I'll make you a five star meal before i snap your neck"
he is a god when it comes to making steak. give him a basic ass steak, some spices, and a few other side ingredients and he'll give you a true taste of heaven. A taste of heaven from a man from hell.
we love him all the same though <3
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holy fucking hell this took WAY too long, and I took some extra time on Ghosts.
as always, any type of constructive criticism is appreciated, no matter how harsh or small it is <3
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yourlocalcryptidfolklore · 6 months ago
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Shane Dating Headcanons pt 2 - NSFW
As the title says, this is a continuation of my last post- but a NSFW version. So yeah- MDNI. Get lost. Go do your homework kiddos. Not that minors should be on my page at all but especially not rn.
I would still say this is gender neutral but there is going to mentions of your genitalia and his own. Also going to mention makeup.
Anyway my lovelies, NSFW below the cut/below the gif.
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☆ Shane definitely is a horny guy. I don't know how to explain it but he just is.
☆ And now that he's drinking less, he needs a new form of stress relief! So I hope you got a high drive babes.
☆ Of course he'd never force anything on you. He isn't that kind of a person. He's aware he has a hand and he knows how to use it.
☆ Anyway, when you guys DO fuck for the first time, he's definitely confident about it. He used to be a lot hotter in his eyes, but he has expirence. So long as you don't mind the dad bod- and yes- he has a dadbod idc. As I fat person I claim him for the fat people. I'll still rail him like there's no tomorrow.
☆ If you headcanon him as cis - Definitely has thick meat. It's nothing jaw dropping okay well maybe it is, but if you decide to do anal/oral or vaginal (assuming you have a vag), it fills you up pretty well.
☆ If you headcanon him as FTM - I would say he's got a bit of a bush on his vag. He'd shave it if you ask but he doesn't mind it. He would also have hair on his dick IMO, Bro is depressed and so am I. I know damn well if you're bed rotting you ain't gonna shave your puss puss.
☆ If you have a peen-ween - Shane knows what to do with it. It's fairly simple for him. His favorite thing to do to get you worked up is probably to grind against you or add some pressure to get you hard.
☆ "Oh my... did I get you all riled up?"
☆ Teases you about it if you're comfortable with that.
☆ If you have a vajooja - Still knows what he's doing, but he does have to work a little more to start up your engine since it might be a little bit harder to just put his leg near you and make you horny.
☆ Still, he'll put a hand on your thigh, giving you a gentle squeeze and watching you blush. Teasing you by moving it up reaaaallllyyyy close, then once you look flustered, he'll just stop innocently.
☆ He likes making his partner blush, he especially loves if you get all shy about it.
☆ Now onto kinks. Look at him. Look at the sad chicken man. Then look me in the eyes and say he isn't even the tiniest bit kinky.
☆ Definitely likes ruuning your makeup if you wear any. He wants you to be a mess. He loves looking as you with your hair all over, mascara down your face, clothes thrown all over, fucked apart until you're on another plane of existance.
☆ He also loves doing you in his clothes. Whether they're tight, loose, or just right, he will go bonkers if he gets to fuck you in his shirt.
☆ Will dirty talk as mean as you like it, but will also praise you as much as you wan't. I feel like Shane isn't a generally picky guy. Bro is just happy to be here.
☆ He will also try most kinks at least once to test the waters if you ask him too, so don't be shy! He's happy to make you happy :))
Alright my dears that's enough being horny for pixels.... for now. If you have any questions or want any elaborations on a headcanon feel free to drop an ask!
Oh and drink water. Can't thrist over fictional characters if you aren't hydrated!
Take care my lovelies!
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twistedcollective · 1 month ago
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autism rambles
headcanons i yapped to a friend (@herconfuse im so sorry buddy)
theres a shit ton, some tdas but most are metal family. also these are copy pasted from spacehey, in parts cause i hit the character limit. four times. if some make more sense reading them as a dm, thats why. im so autistic about this show bro.
tw for various types of abuse when talking about glam and his backstory and family, also superrr limited mention of sh there too
theres probably gonna be another part to this at some point
tdas: - mal acted like a villain for the show bc fans enjoy drama and on my LIFE chris is rigging votes based on fan popularity and who he personally likes. so mal was just being overdramatic so he could stay on longer. two steps ahead frfr (ok nikocado pack it up /silly) - vito x anne maria. idc that the show tries to make her look bad, those two are so cute and systems can date different people bro - mike x zoey, obv, but also svetlana x zoey. shes poly for her partner sys ur honor. also, bi zoey. and super supportive singlet zoey. idk i love zoey sm shes so sweet - dawn is pagan, probably works with gaia or some other version of mother earth - cameron is autistic as hell bro thats not even a headcanon thats basically canon atp. that boy has so much tism in him - B is transmasc (yes this is tdroti not tdas. shush.)
metal family: - i think dee listens to white girl music sometimes - he picked it up from ches, who would blare 2000s white girl bangers to annoy his mom during fights - gustav has been to prison and had his record cleared via shady payoff to the govt - mary was married to gustav via some sort of arranged marraige (possibly a forced taxes and traditional conservative values thing cause he absolutely would [i hate gustave with a passion]) - gustav died believing that glam got fully possessed by the devil during that one scene - glam gets nightmares about his dad and/or about becoming like his dad and hurting his wife and kids. his sleep schedule is still ass to this day - nobody knows the full extent of glam's childhood, not even ches - ches probably assumed glam's scars were self inflicted due to location, and he hasnt asked to clarify bc he doesnt really know how - hes absolutely noticed tho - lif and dee consider the rat their adopted son and his theme song is rats by ghost since they both canonically like that band - heavy prefers the metallica version of enter sandman, dee likes the ghost cover better - vicky listens to viking metal and aggressive sea shanties - glam would love chappel roan - ches would love sabrina carpenter - dee would unironically like taylor swift and would tell NOBODY - dee is not only a brony (canon), but also a furry. he has a fursona and a ponysona - dee would be a reality shifter but he doesnt believe it exists - dee does NOT like cats. heavy absolutely loves them. lif likes them, but also draws gore of them (not in an edgy way but she thinks the biology is neat and has an art style where it works) - lif sits in graveyards in her spare time
metal family part 2: - heavy is a theistic satanist, dee is an atheist (canon), lif is an atheistic satanist but likes theistic satanism quite a bit, glam is an atheist, vicky is a norse pagan, ches is in tune with the universe and just calls himself "spiritual, not religious" - dee writes fanfic - i love headcanons where dee is just an absolute fucking nerd cause its SO ACCURATE bro that boy is a GEEK - dee knows the basics of chemical warfare from his chemistry phase - he could and absolutely would nuke someone if he had good reason
metal family part 3: - dee is a controlled pyromaniac - dee steals from big businesses and never from small/independent ones, he taught heavy who only steals food (candy, drinks, etc) bc anything else makes him feel guilty - dee has a spacehey account - hes also very active on the dark web, and holds a paywall on hacker services for people - he has sent things to people who wanted him to hack for shitty reasons. by things, i mean animals. not alive ones. also, small pipe bombs that arent quite deadly but will still hurt pretty damn badly - dee will jailbreak people's school devices, for a fee - hes such a con artist except hes not cause he actually pulls through - his stalker thing with lif was purely genetic, idk how but it was (see: glam stalked vicky too) - both relationships are super healthy tho dwdw - heavy cant work the internet without dees help, but is very active online where hes allowed to be - dee is a dipper personality type, heavy is a mabel personality type, and lif channels bill cipher without the,, yknow,, pure insanity - that one pink haired girl whos name i cant remember is super nice but super sheltered from alt subcultures and queer people, think caitlyn from my creative writing class (ik you dont know her)
metal family part 4: - lif had a dsmp phase and was an e girl in 2020 - she also has a scene phase shortly after - goth isnt her only style but its def her main and shes super good at the makeup and also the dancing - heavy would pierce someone for enough money - dee would give people tattoos at school for money, but he refuses to do stick and poke so he cant (doesnt have a machine) - lif draws art commissions online - dee and lif are both huge creepypasta enjoyers and have loads of ocs - heavy knows the basic ones (jeff the killer, toby, ben drowned, etc) - heavy and dee would write and produce films with shitty production quality thatre somehow really good and post them on youtube - dee takes college level classes and is aiming for his two-year by graduation (omg look its ollie projecting onto his fav characters again) - glam is pan, dee is demiromantic ace, heavy is straight as a fucking board, vicky is straight but was bicurious at one point cause lesbians absolutely love her (anna has a one sided crush one her rip), ches is gay but doesnt date much anyways, lif is bi with a preference for girls (although technically she has a preference for dee) - lif had a pink and girl phase in elementary, complete with the justice and claires stuff - lif is a demigirl (our lif is transfem i think iirc)
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evb0 · 7 months ago
Text
procrastinating so u guys get my hatchetverse hcs!!! (these are going to be a lot of shit i picked up from random posts that i dont remeber the ops of so sorry if u made one of these hcs and i dont credit you i love you sorry) ethan green
probably like 23? 25?
hes actually bi he told me himself
afab he/they boyflux sue me
lex is his first and only gf. he's probably had like one bf before but he loves lex sm more (simp) (malewife to her girlboss basically)
orphan sorry i dont make the rules
his dad left like immedately and his mom passed of old age when he was like 17 idk
hannah is basically his little sister. he'd die 4 her actually.
ted spankoffski
like late 20s early 30s at the most ithink
so painfully thirsty for anyone he has to be pan
amab he/him but doesnt really give a fuck
has never had a partner thats so sad. he makes up for this by constantly acting like everybody wants him. they dont. (exepct for me i love him)
doesnt really have a CRUSH on anyone speific but mark chastity is his fav to tease (sorry im a baby for holy bastard)
him and petes parents love them but theyre kinda like.. oblivious and absent. like theyre always on trips and leaving pete to live w ted
max jagerman
im not gonna list all of the teens' age theyre all 16-18
im assimilating with this one he/she pronouns amab
hes omni he told me himself pref 2 women
everybody wants him he only wants the nerd (hes just like me fr)
he isnt dead shut up shut up sHUT UP HES FINE OKAY
his dad is not good his mom died in childbirth
stephanie lauter
genderqueer. they/she/he in order of pref. also uses xe/xir idc sue me
pan thats cannon she told me xirself
does tiktok dances but really badly on purpose
the biggest simp on earth to her one guy and nobody ese
will fluster the living hell out of pete in public for fun
hates being the mayors daughter, feels alienated bcs of it
pete spankoffski
he/they afab i dont make the rules
bi if you argue youre homophobic (/J)
actually loves his big bro but acts like he doesnt bcsaude is ted hears him looking up ted he'll never hear the end of it
nickname seymour from ruth (bcause lsoh)
ex-brony
richie whateverhislastnameis
afab he/xe/nya/zap he would have so many cool neos. one of those people whos neo list is longer than the bill of rights
gay mlm yes
undertale enjoyer
nge enjoyer
discord mod in an anime server
owns several body pillows
xem and ruth have been friends since pre-k so they know eachother like the back of their hand
ruth whateverherlastnameis
afab she/they
omni large large large pref to girls. likes a few boys sorta
biggest theatre kid ever but sucks at acting and singing (the curse)
got ensemble ONCE and cried at the cast list
fav show is heathers
heather m kin i dont make the rules
grace chastity
afab she/her
bi
liked a girl once and cried for a week str8 abt going 2 hell
i dont have alot of hcs for her but i think she would like fire a large amount
not even arson wise but like
a firebug
tinky
i already made my hcs for all the LiBs' true forms so go find those if you want
all the libs dont give a fuc about pronouns call them whatever
i do he/him tho
tinky is really just a 13 yr old girl freaking out abt one specific guy (ted) and making fucked up fanfics with him (time bastard nmt)
the "youngest" of the siblings
boy jerry
i beleive that every character jon plays is related. boy jerry is pauls fucked up brother. which means hes also richies uncle
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