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specialagentlokitty · 1 year ago

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Giles x teen!reader - the family you need

Part 4:

You walked home, and you didn’t everything you could think off to try calm down, you had a shower, your tried cooking, cleaning, taking a nap, listening to music.

It took a long while, but eventually you had your anger back under control, you had calmed yourself down, and you sighed, burying your head in your hands.

You skipped the rest of the week of school, ignoring your door and phone, focusing on killing demons instead.

As Monday rolled around you trudged your way to the library, hesitant as you reached for the door, but you took a deep breath and opened it.

“Mr Giles?” You called.

You stepped in and he came out of his office, setting some books in the side.

“Thank goodness you’re alright, you had us all terribly worried (Y/N), we tried to call you and they tried your apartment.”

“Yeah I know…”

You sighed a little, stuffing your hands into the pockets of your hoodie.

“Im sorry if I upset you, or if I pried too much, but what I heard was concerning.”

You shrugged a little, walking over to a chair and you sat down, kicking your feet up on the chair opposite you.

“I get it, you hear a kids got a bunch of scars, you wanna figure out what’s going on, I get that you know?”

Giles slowly walked over, sitting himself on the table, his back to you as he listened.

“I mean it makes sense, kid looks like they get beat every night, you have to do something about that, it’s your job to be worried. I overreacted and I’m sorry.”

He turned to look at you, shaking his head.

“It was no overreaction, it was extremely understanding, I pushed into something you most likely don’t want to remember. You were hurt, angry, and that’s okay, but I don’t worry about you because it’s my job (Y/N), yes it may be my job to look after you all, but I worry because I care. I care about you all, so after what I heard I wish to ensure that you are safe.”

You turned your gaze away from him.

“It’s in the past, you can’t change the past.”

“But it still hurts, does it not?”

“Yes, it does. The past is always going to hurt Mr Giles, but what’s happened has happened, we can’t change that, but we can learn from it. The past is what makes us who we are right?”

Giles nodded his head.

“Then what does that make you?”

“I don’t know yet, I haven’t figured that much out, but I’m still learning.”

He smiled softly at you.

“I see, but are you safe?”

“Yes, I’m safe.”

“There’s nobody in your apartment that is hurting you?”

You shook your head.

“No sir, I live alone.”

“Alone?”

“Like I said, things of the past.”

He sighed, nodding his head, and he looked at you.

“If you were in danger you come straight to me, do you understand?”

He got up, coming back with a slip of paper and he gave it to you.

“If you think you are in any danger, or you don’t feel safe, you either call here, or my home, or you come and find me, these are my numbers, and all the places you can find me if I’m not here. Any danger at all, I don’t care how small it may be.”

He took the paper, looking at it for a moment before you looked up at him.

“Am I making myself clear?”

“Yes.”

“Good, I will not have you going through anything of this sort again, especially not alone. You are not alone anymore.”

This made you smile a little bit, and you put the paper into your pocket.

“Thank you…”

“I truly am sorry for whatever had happened to you in the past, and if there does come a day you wish to talk about then I am all ears.”

You nodded your head and stood up, looking at him you smiled a little.

“Can you tell the others I’m sorry? I don’t really want to see them right now..”

“Of course I will.”

With that you left, going back home.

You pinned the paper he gave you to the fridge so you always knew where to find it.

Heading to your balcony, you stood overlooking the part of town that you could see.

You felt guilty that he didn’t know about you, he was so ready to help you, so ready to protect you, just like Colt.

But he didn’t know the truth, if they found out what you were would they be so worried about you? Would the kill you?

You had no idea.

Taking a small breath, you closed your eyes for a second and opened them again, and you saw the burst of demonic energy.

“Of course…”

Hoping over the balcony you landed on the street and began running, but you couldn’t see anything else from the ground, so you sought higher ground.

Jumping into a shop, you jumped on to the next tallest building and looked around.

You saw the flash of red again, and you ran towards it, knowing exactly where it was coming from.

Jumping down, you looked at the school seeing the door had been blown in and you slowly walked over.

Whispering the small chant, you drew your sword from your arm, putting it over your back.

You could smell the demonic energy, and hear the sounds of fighting.

Crouching, you looked down the corridor and you watched the demon throw Buffy into some lockers and stop.

“I know you’re here~” the demon taunted.

You stayed quiet, without drawing your sword the demon wouldn’t be able to fully sense you.

“Come on now my young leader, don’t play games with me.”

You crept back the way you came and down a different hallway.

You circled the demon, and when he turned his back to you, you grabbed Buffy, pulling her into the classroom, clamping a hand over her mouth.

“Is there anybody else here…?”

She nodded, and you moved your hand.

“Library…”

“Buffy you need to get them out of here…”

You heard a noise making the pair of you go quiet, and you looked at her, gesturing to the door.

“You can’t fight him…”

“I’ll be okay… please… get them out of here…”

“You can’t!”

“Go!”

You pushed her towards the door and you ran out the other, whistling loudly to catch the demons attention to distract him from buffy.

“Yeah, that’s right you bastard follow me!”

You spun around, leading the demon the other way and when you were sure you were in the clear you spun on your heel.

Raising your hand and you slammed it into the demons face, sending him through a wall.

“Ah, they warned me you would be strong.”

He grinned, standing up and in a flash he was in front of you, his fist connected with your stomach sending you flying through the walls outside.

Rolling on the grass, you grunted in pain and sat up.

Pushing yourself up, you whispered the chant again, putting your sword away.

You knew what he wanted, and you weren’t going to let him have it.

The demon walked outside, grinned from ear to ear, tilting his head a little.

“Oh they’ve made you their pet, how cute, I bet they don’t even know what you are.”

“Shut your mouth.”

Charged you swung from him, and he jumped on the roof so you followed him, throwing punch after punch that he easily dodged.

He grabbed your hoodie, throwing you in the air, and jumped up, slamming his leg into your chest sending your flying straight back through the roof so hard you put a small hole in the floor.

You coughed, blood flying from your mouth as you took a deep breath, and he smirked from on the roof above you.

“You’re weak, embrace it. Embrace what your father gave you.”

“Don’t you dare…”

The demon jumped down, grabbing you by the shirt he punched you over and over in the face.

“Do it!”

Buffy jumped on him, and he easily threw her off, looking around the library.

“Oh how cute, they can’t even see me, let’s change that.” He snarled.

“Don’t you dare…” you whispered.

He punched you again and got up, stalking towards them all.

He didn’t hurt them too badly, he simply scratch them all with a clawed finger, then he smirked at you.

“Now they can see me it’s going to be so much more fun to kill them..”

You slowly pushed yourself up, sneering lowly.

“Don’t… you dare…”

He paced around you in a circle.

“Maybe I’ll start with the slayer, never killed one before, should be fun. But either way you’ll watch me kill all of them.”

“Don’t touch them!”

You lunged forward, kicking him through the doors, breathing heavily.

Giles saw that spark in you that he saw the other day, he saw the small flash of blue in your eyes but it was gone.

The demon laughed manically.

“Oh your father is going to be so proud!”

The demon charger, standing in front of you.

“I’ll drag your body back me…”

He grabbed you, spinning around the threw you back outside and you rolled on the grass, blood flying from your mouth and the various cuts you had all over your body.

Pushing yourself up, you limped back over, and you whispered the chant again, drawing the sword from your arm.

Standing at the top of the stairs you looked at the demon who was stood there.

“That’s what I’m talking about… but they’ll find you~”

“Not if I stay in control they won’t…”

You took a shallow breath, slowly drawing your sword, blue flames lighting up your body, lighting the sword and you tossed the scabbard aside.

“You want to fight… then fight…”

He lunged and you were gone, roundhouse kicking him back to the floor, and you jumped, slamming your sword at him and he barely moved out the way.

He tried to punch you but you blocked it, and lunged again, his fists the only thing blocking your sword.

Giles rounded everybody up and pushed them into his office out of the way.

You were slammed into the ground, then thrown into some books.

No amount of hits could stop you, even when you could barely stand you kept fighting, standing between the demon and the office door.

“I won’t let you.. hurt them…”

“Try to stop me.” He sneered.

With a cry of pain, and anger, you swung your sword, blue flames branching out and he stared in horror.

“He will win! You will rule by your father’s side!”

“He is not… my father…” you spat.

The flames surrounded him, and he screamed as he was turned to ashes.

You took a few deep breaths, extinguishing the flames so nobody else got hurt in any way by them.

Breathing heavily you took a few shaky steps you dropped to your knees, coughing blood on the floor.

You pushed yourself up, limping to the scabbard, and you slumped again the wall, sheathing the sword.

Whispering the chant, you put it back and groaned in pain, trying to stand up but you couldn’t, no matter how hard you tried your body just wouldn’t let you.

The door to the office was opened and slowly they all came out.

They looked around the mess, and you groaned in pain, closing your eyes before opening them again.

“I.. I’m sorry… about the books…”

They snapped their gazes to you, and you gave weak smile, and rested your head back on the wall.

“What the hell are you?” Buffy whispered.

You said nothing, and Giles held his arm out as she went step forward.

You recognised that look, it was the look they all had then they find out.

“Do you not recognise the blue fire?” Xander whispered.

“No?” She whispered back.

Giles took his glasses off, cleaning them before he turned his attention back to you, putting them on, and he looked at you.

More so, he stared at you.

“The flames of satan himself. This is the demonic child of Satan, I heard rumours about this, but never did I think it was true.”

“I’m.. sorry…”

You groaned in pain, slowly pushing yourself up, stumbling a few steps into the stairs and fell over once again.

You couldn’t stand, you needed time to heal, but you couldn’t go anywhere until then, so you simply just kept getting up, falling over until you finally found a spot in the school away from them so you didn’t have to see the looks on their faces

#buffy the vampire slayer x reader #buffy the vampire slayer x you #buffy the vampire slayer imagine #buffy the vampire slayer #Rupert Giles #Rupert Giles x reader #Rupert Giles x you #Rupert Giles imagine

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sleepy-vix · 1 year ago

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also oh my gosh there are literally no words for how proud I am of you for that joirnal entry?? I’ve been through hell and back with feeling suicidal and I clawed my way back to life starting exactly the same way but DAMN it’s so hard Yk? And it feels so exhausting and useless?? But seriously I promise it’s not. It’s okay if the actions you’re taking feel like they’re taking a long time to kick in, or it doesn’t rlly feel like YOU yet. One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to learn was to stop waiting for the feeling of peace and joy to just show up and find me, that I had to actively do stuff to help it happen and keep doing it even when it felt like nothing was happening. Sorry ik this was a ramble and I hope it wasn’t too personal but I’m sending you so much support and love and if you ever need to talk I’m here! Also im a huge Jane Austen and hamlet fan :)) keep going, im rlly proud of you and you’re doing rlly rlly well <33

AWWWWWW this means so much to me, thank you so much for telling me this. i'm so so so so proud of you too and i'm so happy for you :} it's so wonderful to hear that other people shared similar experiences but found hope in the end because it makes everything seem a little less hopeless and a little more achievable. thank you for sharing with me what you learned (waaaa i'm going to now make a journal page about things that could make me happy TvT <3)

i wish i had something more to say, a nugget of wisdom to gift you in return for yours, because you're such a star for actually reading my whole journal entry :(( it means alot to me

i honestly always thought that journal entries like that would be bothersome to my followers, but after posting that, i actually did feel a little better and more resolved and mentally clearheaded :) writing it felt like i was cutting off a piece of myself (a diseased piece, but a piece of myself nonetheless) and offering it up into the void like a naive child would bestow a glass bottle containing a whimsical message into the ocean, and i truly did not expect a response but im so happy that i did 🤍

i'll be sure to share my thoughts on hamlet and jane austen's work when i finish reading them !! :)

#moots ✮#ahzvsjsbsjsvzysvaishsvsaisbakxgsisbsixvskBzisvszisvsoxbxisjshahzisjalasbwosbsisbajdvsisbsjshs #wow people in this world can be so beautiful #asks

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justajsworkshop · 6 months ago

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ok, so this is the second time this has happened to me, and i just wanna catalogue here a bit. long ass self analysis i’m sharing in case anyone sees themselves in this, too.

so, i’ve had a list of desires that you could label as “big” to the limited self; i.e., the limited self perceives a greater separation between me and these desires. and i really decided to get locked in on them the past couple of days to kick myself out of the state of waiting.

sometimes, i can just get so lazy and apathetic about my desires. i think it’s a protective mechanism to stay disconnected from how unfulfilled i feel. so, i keep telling myself “oh, it’s fine. it’s coming together.” when the deeper truth is that i’m keeping myself separate from my desire (by perceiving it that way) because i’m afraid to surrender myself to it. i’m afraid to let myself have it.

now, when i decided to get focused on this, i wrote out a list of these desires on my phone. i wrote them in affirmation form too, so i could easily read the list to myself. i said the first rule was that i already have all these things, which is true. intellectually, i know that. but it’s like i have these in a shed out back, and instead of just walking over to grab it all, i keep saying “oh, it’s coming. it’s gonna be fine. i have it now.” but im not reeeeeally letting myself have it.

like, bruh, just get your shit, y’know? my desires are waiting on ME.

k, so, i thought i’d try out a variety of approaches to see what was up. some stuff i’m able to passively affirm, and it’s reflected back real fast. other times, i just wish for something, and within a day or so, a solution is there. i firstly tried to be more diligent about my thoughts and “mental diet” even tho i hate the term. i tried saturating too, and while i do enjoy it, doing that for extended amounts of time kinda got tiring, but i also found being conscious of my thoughts when not saturating to be even more tiring.

yall, i’m lazy as shit, ok. i really am about finding the easiest way to go about things.

so, I thought to myself about the time i manifested roger’s vet bill to be a specific amount. someone was checking out as i was in the waiting room, and when the receptionist said their total, i said to myself quite decisively, “that’s how much it’s going to be for me.”

fast-forward to me getting the estimate from the vet in the office, and they told me something about three times that amount, and i almost fainted. i actually forgot i had even made that decision, tbh. i was just there, trying to come to grips with how i was gonna pay that much. after staring at that list for way too long, i finally told the vet’s assistant that i was between jobs, and that’s why it was hard for me to decide what to say yes to and what to pass on. he leaned in, was super sweet, and said, “these are the only ones you need. don’t tell them i said anything.”

my total came out to $7 under my desired amount.

this also happened that one time i manifested my friend paying for my transportation downtown and everything else. i visualized her saying it was all on her, and she had me covered. and when it came time for me to order a car, i basically gave up on the manifestation. then, through a conversation i had with her, she ended up following through with my desired outcome to the letter.

notice how both times, i wasn’t policing my thoughts or state or even feeling toward the outcome. it happened on its own even when i “contracted the new story.” this is because the linear mind ain’t got nothing on the power of god.

what i’ve learned from this is that a single decision is really all i need. it makes me think of the woman with the blood issue for twelve years who touched jesus’ robe (prayer tassels in the chosen) and was instantly healed. i only need to touch the awareness of my desire, and it’s mine, and i am instantly in the reality/script where that will come to pass. the rest happens for me no matter what my linear self does, thinks, or feels about the experience.

so, what i’ve been doing these past two days is convening with myself as my god self in what the bible might refer to as “the secret place.” im just imagining my desired outcome, but there’s something that’s changed where, as i continue to affirm or visualize, i’m really letting myself experience it. because what i want is to experience a certain outcomes, so why not give myself the full experiencing of it to myself now? because i can literally have that experience at this very moment. reality is not the physical. i am reality. and the more awareness i invest in imagination, the easier it is to see that.

to be clear, i’m not imagining to get or to change or even to feel what it would be like. i am actively experiencing my desire right then and there. yesterday and today, i was so present with the experiencing of my desire, i was moved to tears—the guy who’s normally so apathetic and passive about these things i say are so important to me. then, all desiring within me ceased. i felt sated. calm. at peace. gratitude poured forth from me, but not because i was trying to make myself feel grateful or to emulate it. i was deeply grateful for the experience i just had: the fulfillment of my desire.

i have no interest in further saturating or anything else. i go on with my day. i don’t feel the need to wait for it to appear in the 3D anymore because i fully experienced it. and i’ve also noted what when i experience one desire, i feel wholly fulfilled as relates to all the others on my list as well.

yeah, im still going to affirm and be cognizant of my inner narrative, but also, i’m seeing how powerful it is to truly experience fulfillment now without creating this perception of separation between the 3D and 4D or whatever people say (personally, i deeply dislike these terms). because why would I separate these when i got my shit? i experienced it fully, and i am the awareness, not the body/mind, so why would i give myself something then be waiting on what’s already happened to me?

i’m gonna keep going with this practice/approach, and i’ll keep you all updated, but really, as i’ve always said, god heard you the first time. just tongue the fringe of fulfillment, fully experiencing it, and see what happens?

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tadpolesonalgae · 1 year ago

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im so happy she talked to az finally and that he was going to stop her before she hurt herself too badly but now she's running away again 😭 mentor eris sounds fun but i just wish she talked to her family, i would be so mad and hurt if i was in their place. like she could at least talk to them and see what happens before running to eris. i dont even wanna think about what it'll be like when she has to tell them everything. it'll be a while until we see az and the ic again won't it? im excited to see her finally using her powers though and eris has a mentor lol (i would kill him and then myself). he's definitely what she needs to learn how to speak up for herself at least

using bas as the alibi wasn't very smart of her though, az already doesn't like him and he's also the spymaster, i hope someone holds az back from getting to bas too much, he's just helping. im stuck on wanting them to find her before the month is up and having her just come back but either way im scared for her bc she'll have to own up to everything and then when they find out eris helped it's going to be a shitshow

also if you end up using more talking to paper dialogue could you maybe put those part in italics or something? it just made it a bit harder to follow like this - 🧶

‘i dont even wanna think about what it'll be like when she has to tell them everything. it'll be a while until we see az and the ic again won't it?’

Okay, so i’m going to try not to stretch it out too much and keep it on topic? There’s a lot of stuff I want to cover now she’s with Eris, various methods of controlling her magic to touch on as well as continuing to go into what her magic actually does and why it affects her so badly! (Also getting to see how Eris reacts to the burning in her hands because obviously that shouldn’t be happening 🤨)

‘im excited to see her finally using her powers though and eris has a mentor lol (i would kill him and then myself).’

I’m hoping they’ll have a good time in terms of talking to one another even if it might be a bit rough on her? Also hoping nothing bad happens to Eris from messing with her magic because he’s definitely the type to push her buttons as a way to kick start her power :)

‘az already doesn't like him and he's also the spymaster, i hope someone holds az back from getting to bas too much, he's just helping.’

With this eventual scene, it’s probably going to be a third person one instead of learning about it through reader speaking to Bas when she gets back? I think it’ll also be a chance for her and Bas’ relationship to be realised by Az since he’s still mostly under the impression their dynamic is purely platonic on reader’s side (which we know isn’t the case) so hopefully that’ll be okay :)

‘also if you end up using more talking to paper dialogue could you maybe put those part in italics or something? it just made it a bit harder to follow like this - 🧶’

So frustrated because I know I put those in italics before posting it, and when I just went to correct it, it took three time before saving correctly 🫠

Thank you for pointing that out, I hadn’t noticed it hadn’t saved properly the first time, but usually it should all be in italics—sorry for the confusion and thank you for mentioning it! 🤦🧡💛

#🧶 anon <3 #🧶#cbmthy

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saturn-sends-hugs · 1 year ago

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For the bad batch ask!!!

17, 24, 34, and/or 48

Feel free to answer only the ones you want to <3<3

oh bestie i am answering ALL OF THEM

17. What are some headcanons you have about Tech?

oooo ok i found a couple in my notes app:

When watching a movie, Tech can get bored pretty quickly and usually ends up finding the space wikipedia page on it and listing off random facts about its production as they watch. Him and Echo often get into debates about how the SFX was done.

Less of a headcanon and more of a “what if”, but if Anakin ever piloted the Marauder, Tech would reluctantly agree that objectively Anakin is a pretty good pilot, but he’d grumble the whole time about him “messing up his systems.”

Tech has tried time and time again to convince Echo to let him weaponize his cybernetics. The strategic benefit of hidden weaponry would give them a backup plan in the event that they were ever without their blasters, and Wrecker of course just wants to see it happen. Echo, however, remains adamant that no, he would prefer not to sleep with a functioning rocket launcher in his scomp arm, thank you very much.

Tech cannot tell directions. He constantly has maps pulled up on his HUD, so he never gets lost, and no one ever questions it. But if he’s ever without his helmet or something? Oh. Oh buddy, he is lost in two seconds. You spin him around once and he has no idea what direction he just came from. Crosshair is more than happy to tease him about it.

Tech cannot dance. While he knows how to dance in that he’s seen tutorials and memorized the motions, he’s just so incredibly stiff that it’s actually abysmal. (It takes Phee a long, long time before she manages to get him to loosen up lol)

aaaaaand that’s probably enough :D

24. Do you have any hot or controversial takes?

oh absolutely and about 70% of them are just my opinions on Hunter.

Fandom thinks he has a ten step skincare routine, tons of hair products, and spends forever getting ready? NOPE. The man uses 5-in-1 shampoo and washes his face with hand soap. He has no clue what the word “exfoliating” means. He dresses like a fisherman grandpa and thinks sunscreen is for fancy people.

Also, the fisherman thing is like my whole concept of Hunter lol. He sends this to Omega no context one day thinking it’s the funniest thing in the world (he is correct)

not really a hot take, but honestly you already said everything about the whole Fandom Drama™️ stuff so this is what I’ve got lol

34. Which Batcher would you like to kick in the shins?

Crosshair. Obviously. (also Echo for being incapable of self care but i feel like it would be hypocritical to get upset about the ways i’m actively choosing to write him bskhkdndndkd)

48. What’s something you wish you could say/tell to each Batcher?

Tech: don’t hold your datapad so close to your face, you’re gonna get a headache. also where have you been girlie i missed you in the last episodes for some reason, you should really hurry up and get back from the podraces!

Crosshair: go suck an egg. btw have you considered piercings because i gotta say i’m imagining you with a septum and some platform boots and it’s incredible.

Wrecker: HELLO SIR HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF A SLUSHY BECAUSE IM ABOUT TO CHANGE YOUR ENTIRE WORLD

Hunter: uh. hi.

Omega: you’re doing amazing sweetie and ur brothers won’t say it but they’re so proud of u mwah

Echo: (regarding slow down) SIT THE FUCK DOWN RIGHT NOW MISTER I SWEAR TO GOD. WTH ARE YOU DOING. WHO IS LETTING YOU CONTINUE TO BE THIS STUPID HOLY SH— (me. it’s me. i’m doing this to myself.) also stop ignoring rex u wet noodle.

#btw the whole Tech can’t tell directions thing is 100% based on my sibling lol #there are video games we must’ve played through about ten times together and they still can’t remember where things are #it’s incredible #ace how did you manage to ask literally the best questions wtf #this was so fun i hope you like these answers lol #saturn sends thoughts #saturns headcanons #ask game

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embryonikz · 24 days ago

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vent tw ... nothing too serious i think im just down

i know physical and mental disabilities very different but, i feel like because i suffer from mental illness i tend to not take the effect it has on me that seriously... and i end up beating myself up for not being able to do basic tasks. and it happens alot.

but like, realistically, i wouldnt insult someone who had trouble walking struggling to get around the house and do things, or anyone else with a physical disability- so its like, why do i beat myself up if i cant do basic self care all the time?

i feel like sometimes i have an okay day, but other times i feel more sick than usual. i sleep more, my body hurts more, i barely eat, i lay in bed for hours thinking about miserable things for hours.

i know if my body was capable of producing the correct chemicals i wouldnt feel this way... but i am fundamentally broken. my body doesnt function in a way to provide a comfortable life. even when i take medication its not enough.

i still get intrusive thoughts about terrifying things happening to me or the people i love and care about, and sometimes it feels really real. i still get suicidal thoughts, as much as i wish i could say otherwise.

i just feel like, i am supposed to be happy.. but im not. i feel like there are so many times i experience what are supposedly on average, experienced as really amazing things, and i just can't find the joy in it. sometimes the world feels so foggy and far away and i don't feel apart of it at all. i feel like i am a walking corpse, over its due date.

getting the opportunity to live and have a consiousness, shouldnt i be happy and experiencing what life has to offer every day i wake up? why do i just seem to not care? shouldnt i be filled with wonder and awe at everything? why do some days i can only think about death.

i want to do more. i want to draw. i want to pick up new hobbies. i want to start projects. there is so much i want to do but i have barely any energy. is it all my fault that i can barely move? when am i going to get better. its been years ive been trying. why cant i feel normal. im scared people are as tired of me as i am of myself.

i feel like i wasnt taught how to enjoy life. i dont have the skills for it. all i have ever been taught is how to be afraid, how to hate people, how to feel empty and numb. but everytime i ever got close to being happy, i was beat for it. i was taught its bad. its bad to be happy because other people dont like that.

i hope motivation comes back to me.

ive tried to force it, ive tried to search for it, to try things even if i dont feel anything. it doesnt work.

and when i dont do anything and try to give myself a break, i worry i am wasting time, or doing the wrong thing.

i feel like im never doing anything right.

i feel like the only thing that motivates me lately is trying to make my friends happy but even then its hard. and i feel so ashamed about it. i wish i had the energy to make art for my friends, to make gifts, to make them feel super extra spectacular. but i barely have energy for myself.

sometimes i get so tired of pretending i like myself it feels like there is so much tension in my body building up and i cant breathe.

i just want things to change.

i want to get over it too. everything that happened. for some reason i guess even things from long ago bother me. its always in the back of my mind. the memories of the abuse never really go away.

lately every single night i sleep i end up kicking the wall or punching it in my sleep because i keep getting dreams where my abusers are there, and i feel so angry. i just want to feel safe. i just want to be understood. and its been like this every night having frustrating dreams about people gaslighting me, hurting me..

its so hard to let go of it. i still think sometimes, i wish i could hurt them back like how they hurt me. i wish i could prove how scary i am so they dont dare thinking of hurting me. but its toxic thinking, at the end of the day. and i know it wont make me feel better.

i feel like ideally, i wish all the people who hurt me would admit what they did, really truly show they understand the hurt they put on me, and strive to become better, and say sorry. a truthful and sincere apology. i feel like itd mean the world to just have that... to have the opportunity to just, let go, and breathe. but i cant. it is never going to happen.

i wish i had a normal family. i wish i could go to them like a normal healthy family does, and seek comfort in them. but i cant, because they hurt me. theyre the ones that scare me.

im scared of being alone. im scared ill be abandoned when im at my worst. im scared no one will help me when the day comes that my dad is gone, and ill go homeless, and die.

i dont want to die alone. i dont want to alone living either. i just cant do it. i cant find comfort being by myself. i was taught to hate myself. the brain in my head was built and molded to hate me. i dont know how to be there for myself. i want someone with me.

i just want to be fixed. i guess maybe im just depressed today. im going to try and sleep it off. im not going to hurt myself im just not doing well. hopefully tomorrow is a bit better.

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completleymessy01 · 1 year ago

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02/12/23

I dont know why its taken me so long to write a new entry. The amount of things that have changed in my life in the last few months are crazy. Okay so firstly, S found out she has cancer. And I broke up with M. I know, two crazy massive big things that have happened. I have exams in less than two weeks and I cannot focus. I am studying 7 hours a day and I cannot focus. I am angry, im so angry I have started running . Which is very unlike me. I feel the rage boil in my blood and if it isn't rage im feeling its anxiousness. To the point where my adrenaline is pumping hard through my body and I feel so on edge that I cannot eat. Basically, I am feeling too much and I can't stop. My whole life has changed and ive never felt so stressed before. Am I going to pass my exams? Am I going to lose M forever. But then sometimes I feel happy and glad we broke up. I literally feel like im going to lose my mind, all I want to do is scream at the top of my lungs, scream and shout and hit walls and kick my legs and scream and scream and scream. I feel like nothing ever goes my way and that someone is out to get me. I feel like im being tested every single day, seeing how much I can take before I have a mental breakdown and lose the plot. Im telling you, im close to that. Whats the most frustrating is im letting men continue to ruin and rule my life. When M and I broke up I thought I would get back on the wagon, well ive never really been on the wagon, but anyway. I thought I would start dating since ive basically been sexually deprived for the last year and a half. And let me tell you boys are scary, lazy, assholes and im still letting my day revolve around them. I can't help myself, they take ages to reply, dont seem eager to meet and I still reply fast, I still meet them. Maybe im just ugly and they are trying to hint. And on top of that do I meet them? I dont want m to find out and that be it between us forever, as I do love him still. I also dont want to hurt him. I wish he would just sleep with someone else, it would make everything so much easier. I could hate him and I could move on, but no he is "waiting" for me. well fuck that. I really hope that this time in a month im doing better. I dont think I can continue this adrenaline pumping lifestyle its taking to much out of me.

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pinkadork · 2 years ago

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I haven't really talked much but like.

Between being sexually harassed trying to get to work since my car erupted into flames and then paying that mf ( and ofc people i trust) to take me to work (when they do since its not like i havent been left either at the house or at work and had to either stay home, walk or beg people to pick me up, between my family hanging money over my head trying to get me motivated and help me get a car when i could really use it more to help with bills, the immense summer guilt thats just become the norm atp. I feel it. I've been tired for so long. I try to fake some kind of mojo on some fake it til ya ma it shit but i stg everyday is some other bs. I've had stuff get cut off temporarily in the past so it shouldnt be a big deal but idk. I just wish things couldve been different i guess.

I shouldve been fired ,which I'm glad im not but the anxiety knowing im well past the point limit and feel like at any moment im gonna either get a call that im fired or get dropped off just for my ID to not work and be stuck walkin back is constantly on my mind.

I always feel like im still messing up relationships with people i love and care about even though im trying and have been using the coping skills ive since ive been seeing a therapist again. Yeah i say im lonely but is more than that honestly, im just devastated everyday goes by like this, i had to address and try to figure out the situation of their stuff a few months ago because i felt immensely guilty over everything. I packed stuff up months ago im still washing and packing. Or i was. I feel like i dont get to so shit now but disappoint and upset people. I couldn't even explain that im upset because i feel like ive had to try and motivate myself so much just to live and that i feel like i dont go to work for anything. Hearing everyone talk about the good money we make at work knowing i havent been able to make it a full work week with out something happening irks my soul, even more so when its like im still trying and then either the response is try harder or give up and throw away the progress. I dont necessarily care about money but its obvious niggas need it. Ive been eating out of the convenience store or at work since August. Ive bought groceries twice in the last 3 months and groceries is being charitable because if im being honest i bought some breakfast food and have been esting on that to the point where i might be tired of it. I've always had to take care of myself against the stupidest of odds so sue me if im bitter that instead of chilling and relishing like everyone else about owning my house after being homeless and getting kicked out, thrown around, feeling like i have to mold into this nigga, that nigga to get through shit. I'm sorry that after every funeral, fight, breakup, sudden job change, shitty living environment, and overall fuckup ive done in my life wont mean a goddamn thing. Its always just gonna be something i couldve done more with, did better, tried harder. I dont want too anymore.

#pinksn

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tisafloat · 2 years ago

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I've always been looking for love, i guess

But the first time wasn't even about love

It was about me always being the person who wanted to make everybody like her

So when he asked if he could kiss me i said "sure, why not?" and after a few "why not" we were dating

And after a couple frustrating months i stopped talking to him and he called me out on it and i thought well it feels like a good time to break up

And he cried, and i cried and my mother thought i was stupid and my aunt called me a whore

I was twelve

I learned around then that i was alive and had feelings too, apparently

When i changed schools and met him, he called my attention and i called his the first day, but he was dating

So i dismissed the feeling, happy to just make new friends

I met her and i fell in love with her, but it was never romantic, even though it was the strongest kind of love i had experienced since forever

Then he broke up and we hooked up and we laid on the street, and we kissed and we danced and i was happy

I remember being happy, waiting for buses and being happy

But you cheated on me and you asked me to have sex with you and i didnt want to and you wanted to leave but i wanted you so bad i couldnt let you go

But you left anyway and i remember being miserable and i remember you fucked everything up and you made me fuck everything up but also put me first, even if it was to turn down a kiss or screw up a test i didnt want to pass

But you came back, of course you did, and you were dating someone else because of course you were and you still wanted me because of course you did and oh of course i wanted you too but i knew i had feelings then, so i couldnt betray myself like you did but i kept lingering around you waiting for you to change but you never truly did

And then i left and I couldn't move on from him but i felt like i had to and everyone felt like i had to so i made myself move on

I met the third one and oh how i wish i didnt

The second one taught me love was hard but the third one showed me the world wasn't kind and shit happened because shitty people existed

And he was shitty

I was swallowed by him, made small by him, lost friends and lost myself and still my virginity was the only thing i couldnt lose

It took me despair and so much fear to let you go, to push you away, to kick you out of my life

Then, so fast, i tried again, because why not (of course why not)

And he was great but he was allo so he wanted sex and he wanted intimacy and i couldnt give him any of that and god i was lost

I was scared and lonely and i wanted to be held so much

I still do

I used him

And it felt horrible later

But could i have survived if i hadn't?

Would i be alive if i hadn't lived it all?

I don't want to live any more days

Good or bad

Im just tired

My therapist said i should keep going and not resign myself to this feeling but it's so hard when you can barely get out if bed or cry or eat or feel anything besides this crushing feeling of constantly thinking how

how can i leave?

How can i not hurt anyone when i leave?

How can i make sure i cannot be saved?

How can i minimize how much i suffer?

How can i drive myself to the edge of no return?

What can i write that will not burden everyone else so much?

Because

If anyone could have saved me it would have been you but no one could, it was impossible, i'm sorry

0 notes

just-a-floofy-catt · 3 months ago

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Hello!!!!!

Im so so sorry about such a late response, ive just been a bit busy and wanted to make sure i gave your writing the time and attention it deserves TwT

(And my response took a while to write and format lmao)

I think because i made art for the event, and am primarily an artist, for some reason i was subconsciously convinced that i would recieve art and not writing???

Which might be a little silly but i guess it just didn't cross my mind that it was equally as likely for me to recieve either.

So i cannot even EXPRESS how excited i was when i saw that you wrote something XD

5000 whole words????

5000??????????

For ME????????

AND THERES ACCOMPANYING ART TOO???????????

Im gonna be so real with you, i lowkey almost cried XD

Especially because it was based on one of my favourite fluffy headcanons.

I was so excited and happy

Thoughts i wrote whilst reading -

"They all had been happy after a little while when he had taken Sun to see them during one of their rehearsals, but that didn't mean that they were necessarily looking to spend more time with him. At least, that had been what he'd thought."

A SEQUEL???? OMG AAAAAAAAAAAAZTOXYOFOHF

" Sun was sweet, he was so good with the children, and he was adorable in the way that he saw the good in people. Moon had been so worried that after everything that had happened that Sun would hate him, but in the end it wasn't something that he'd had to worry about at all. "

Aww baby 😭😭

Ough i always adore the portrayal of when Moon kind of sees himself atleast a little bit as the monster everyone says he is and thinks he doesnt deserve forgiveness or love, but is positively enamoured with Sun and believes hes way too good for him.

It tears my heart to shreds, but its always worth it to see Sunny show him that he IS loveable and IS worth his time and affection.

Im just gonna stop myself right here because i WILL go on for ages XD

" So instead he waited until Sun was busy and he was able to slip away to start making paper roses in the days leading up to what he had arranged.It was a little tricky hiding them from Sun, but it helped that sun couldn't climb the walls. He could hide them in the ceiling tiles, where Sun never checked. Moon definitely didn't have a secret stash of little trinkets and stolen things up there that he didn't want his counterpart to know about... His paper roses weren't very good in the beginning, and he definitely wished that he had Sun's patience as he crumpled attempt after attempt while following tutorials from the internet that he played over and over again in his head until he finally had some presentable ones. And then after some more tries, some good ones. "

MOON

YOU ARE SO FUCKING CUTE 😭😭😭😭

Just him putting in the effort to try and show Sun how much he cares about him and pushing past frustration and lack of patience to do it. I CANNTT MAN OMG 😭😭😭

Also hiding things in the ceiling like the little gremlin he is XD

" My Drop of Sun-shine, the roses aren't your only gift. You remember your outfit to meet the Glams? Put that on and meet me in the theater when you're ready, I have a surprise for you.

- Moon "

BRO IM GONNA PASS AWAY

IM SO EXCITED OMG

THIS IS GONNA BE SO CUTE

MOON YOURE SO SWEET 😭😭😭

" He wasn't dressed any differently than normal save for a bowtie that an assistant had brought him jokingly that had a magnet hot-glued to the back of it to stick to him. He wasn't sure that it wasn't too silly, but he was confident that Sun would get a kick out of it whether he genuinely liked it or it just made him laugh. "

BOWTIE

OH HIS LITTLE BOWTIE

Suns gonna absolutely adore the whimsy omg

" Sure enough Sun burst through the door with more enthusiasm than was strictly necessary, his grin wild and eyes bright. It turned the smile on Moon's face soft and fond to see him like that, there was just no way to avoid being absolutely enamored with his celestial mirror. "Hi," he greeted. "

DUDE THE FLUFF HAS BEEN ABSOLUTELY NAILED OMG IM GONNA SOB

I love when theyre so in love 😭

" "Moonie! Did you make those flowers yourself? And the card?" Sun pulled back enough to look at him, and if they were human Moon would wonder if the grin stretched so wide on his face would hurt his cheeks. Luckily they weren't human, but Moon reached up to pinch a cheek on him anyway. Sun shook him off with a little laugh, then pulled back from him more. "Oh stars, are you wearing a tie?" His laugh grew, though he covered his mouth with one hand like that would muffle the sound. Like Moon would ever even want it to. "Where- where did you even get that?" "

Ough.... they just appreciate eachother so much.... 🥺

" He even managed to make himself fake shoulder pads like some of them had, and Moon suspected that there were more magnets being utilized to keep them in place since he didn't actually see a tie around his neck for them. "Strike a pose." Sun did, pretending to be caught mid guitar riff. "Perfect. Like a real Glamrock."

While Sun didn't say anything to that Moon could easily feel the breeze that accompanied the quick few spins of his rays, one of his cutest happy little tells. His small pleased smile that he tried to hide also helped to read how the compliment affected him. "

THE SHOULDER PADS 😭😭

Oh hes so so cute....

The little ray spins too!!!!!! AGH!!!

I love it when his rays do happy spins....

" But Sun and Moon both had ones in there, on top of the main crew that Sun so idolized. Moon wouldn’t be surprised if Sun had managed to keep one card of each of the main four for himself. "

HE SO WOULD!!!! 🥺🥺

He collects any and all merch of them he can get his hands on.

Which isnt much, since really theyre not allowed to have much of anything at all for themselves. Honestly that would just make him cherish it all the more though.

" The soft neon glow of the atrium was a welcome reprieve to Moon’s eyes after the harsh light of the daycare halls and the elevator, and in his opinion Sun positively glowed in the blues and purples. He might have been biased in thinking that blue looked good on him, though. "

OUGH

Moon just admiring him...

I cant

😭😭

And yes it may be a tad biased... but thats okay XD

" Expressions ranging from happy smiles to teasing grins greeted them back. Chica came up to the edge of the stage, mirroring Sun's enthusiasm. No one else seemed surprised that it was those two who were the ones practically jumping in place. "Hiya, Lemondrop!" Using the strap of her guitar to keep it steady she moved the instrument behind her so that she could comfortably crouch down to get closer to Sun's height. "We made an exception tonight. There was a special request." She looked over Sun's shoulder at Moon and gave him a very obvious wink. "

CHICA XDDD

Omg i love her and Sun as a duo so much

Theyre so underrated together

They bounce off eachothers positivity and energy so well XD

I absolutely adore her being so enthusiastic to see her new bestie again....

" It was hard not to laugh harder at that and he squeezed Sun's hands again but harder this time. "You say that, but they're waiting for you and you're dressed for the part." He grunted as Sun threw himself against him and wrapped his arms around his shoulders with an ecstatic cry. He stumbled back a step in surprise but recovered quickly enough and pressed his cheek against Sun's before nuzzling into him, enjoying the tickle of the mostly-retracted rays that accommodated his closeness. Sun was nearly vibrating against him with his excitement and that was just even more proof that Moon had made the right call in planning this for him for their Valentine's night. He looked up after a minute and after catching the looks that they were getting from the group he played an audio file of a throat clearing and tried to backoff a little, though Sun wasn't letting him go just yet. "

SOBBING

ON THE FLOOR SOBBING

OMG

😭😭😭

MOON YOU JUST MADE HIS ENTIRE YEAR

Again, theyre just so toothrottingly sweet 😭😭💙💛

" With very obvious reluctance Sun did eventually let go when Moon gave him a few pats on the back, but not before he left a kiss on Moon's cheek. "Just you wait until later, mister," he whispered just between the two of them. Then he was completely detached from Moon and bouncing up towards the stage. "

WAIT

SUNNY WHAT DO YOU HAVE PLANNED???? 👀👀👀👀

I'm so curious what hes got for Moon now XD

I imagine that no matter what it is he'll adore it though.

" He wondered if the Glams realized just how ecstatic he really was. Obviously he knew what every single twitch meant in his partner, but he would hope so given how much time they spent together and just how carefully Moon studied Sun when he was sure that Sun wasn't paying any attention. Even when he was sometimes, though Sun tended to fluster easily in those moments. "

They know eachother so well....

Its because really theyve been through the worst of the worst together and spent so much time so incredibly close.

But now it massively benefits their relationship and its just so so lovely.

And the fact Moon practically studies him????

Again, hes just so enamoured XD

Id bet Sun does the same thing sometimes, though.

I just love it when they care so much, man 😭😭

" To say that Moon was enraptured by the performance wouldn’t do it justice. Sun was visibly a little nervous but happy up there on stage with the eyes of his heroes and his partner on him but the longer the first song went on the more he came out of his shell. After the first song Monty came up to clap him on his shoulder pad and shouted encouragement while Chica played the opening riff to their next song. Sun looked like he would have been absolutely breathless if they had needed to breathe, Moon was sure that his fans had to be working in overdrive to keep him cool and not just from the heat of the lights. "

EVERYTHING

JUST

EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS

The glams being so encouraging, Moon being so smitten and invested, Sunny having the time of his life

AAAAAAA

" By the time they had worked most of the way through the list that Moon had made, Sun was hamming it up on stage like he had an audience, like he’d been made for this. Perhaps it was a bit of their old theater programming and personality pieces that hadn’t been completely deleted or suppressed. Dressed as he was and floating between the multicolored stage lights as he was, he looked completely in his element and confident in a way that he sometimes lacked. It didn’t appear that he was brave enough to get too close to the Glamrocks but there were times when he approached them, stood back-to-back with Chica without coming into contact, half-faced Freddy who mirrored the pose while they sang together. Nothing at all could have made Moon happier than seeing Sun have so much fun up there with his idols. "

I can literally SEE this in my head and ITS DRIVING ME INSANE

IM HYPED

IM SO HAPPY THEYRE HAVING SUCH A GOOD TIME

Sun actually feeling confident when its often something he struggles with from always being put down and pushed to the side is ENDING me omg

Its so so real

" "Really, though. You were great up there, you should sing more in the daycare even if it’s just after hours.”

”I could say the same to you! You have a great voice, you should let more people hear you sing!” Sun put his hands on his hips and leaned forward into Moon’s personal bubble. "

DUET DUET DUET DUET!!!!!

They should totally do a sweet little romantic duet in the future....

Sun, youre so right though, Moon needs to get his ass on that stage, his voice is beautiful. AND HE DESERVES TO BE PRAISED FOR IT!!! >:3

" "Aw, I didn't know you sang for the kids! That's adorable, I bet it puts them out like a light, you seem like you'd have a good crooner voice."

Moon was never more tempted to pull his hat down to hide his face in his life.

"He does!" Sun piped up in the absence of Moon saying anything. "He tries to say that he's not really built for singing and that it's his music box-" Chica's beak moved to incredulously mouth 'music box' with a glint in her eyes after Sun without interrupting him- "but he can sing to it, so he's definitely just being modest." "

YESSS BURY HIM IN COMPLIMENTS!!!!! XD

Moon not being able to handle compliments or praise and getting flustered over it is something i always like to see. Idk it just feels right to me.

Poor guy has TERRIBLE self esteem even if he doesnt always show it

" The trip back was quiet but it was a very comfortable and content brand of quiet. It was something that neither of them felt the need to break until they were all the way back into their room, just basking in each other's company while the ambient music of the 'plex gave them a soundtrack to the walk back. Their hands stayed joined the entire time just as they had been on the way there, a tender mirroring to wrap their evening up. "

This is so so simple but fills me with so much joy

Just them enjoying eachothers prescence

" He laughed, checking to see if Sun was ready for him to turn around before he did so and pulled him into a hug. "It's not a competition, Sunny. I wanted to make you happy, and I love what you did for me. That's what matters, right?"

The look that Sun gave him was one of someone who was melting under the sweetness of the moment but still wasn't entirely mollified. "... Fine. But you better be ready. Next year I'm going to knock your socks off."

"Good luck, I don't wear any." Moon snickered at the blustering annoyance that he was hit with for that and managed to pin Sun's arms to his sides when he started to struggle in his hold. "C'mon, bedtime. You were getting close to falling asleep in front of your heroes again."

So sweet and oh so silly TwT 💛💙

Moon better start wearing some socks...

"Sun shuddered and breathed out a quick "jerk" before he relaxed back against Moon. "Will you sing for me for a little while? Just until I fall asleep?" "

PLEASEEEE OMG 😭😭

" The question was just too sweet, Moon never stood a chance in being able to refuse it. He chuckled and shuffled around so that he was half sitting up and could hold Sun against his chest. "Of course, just for you." When he leaned to press a kiss to the top of Sun's head he was intercepted, instead meeting Sun's lips. He melted instantly, holding the gentle kiss for as long as Sun let him before Sun slowly put a small amount of distance between them. It was a disgustingly domestic moment of intimacy, staring at Sun after that simple, treasured kiss. There was nothing on this world that Moon would have traded it for. "

DISGUSTINGLY DOMESTIC IS RIGHT

But its absolutely perfect

" He didn't bother to pay any attention to how long they stayed like that until Sun settled against his chest and this time allowed Moon to press an affectionate kiss to the top of his faceplate without interruption. "Will you sing my favorite one?" he asked sleepily.

"As if you had to ask, morning star." "

OH THATS JUST THE PERFECT ENDING 😭😭🥺🥺💛💙💛💙

My favourite sillies in love....

Oh i enjoyed this so SO much

Its everything i couldve wanted and more TwT

Its domestic, fluffy and sweet, and all the little details in their behaviours are so lovely.

And the art is so so wonderful too!!

He looks so adorable in his lil glamrock fit :3

Im IMMENSELY greatful to have recieved this and will in fact be coming back to read it every so often

Thank you so much !!!!!

(And i do have an ao3 but i prefer to keep it separate to everything else. But feel free to post it there still ^^ if you really want to, you can just mention my tumblr, but i dont mind at all)

Center Stage

@just-a-floofy-catt I was your secret valentine! so sorry for the wait, I loved the idea of your glamrock adoring sun so I hope that I did the au justice! (do you have an ao3 handle? I can add it there too)

SunxMoon Word count: 5035

Moon expected that there would be a lot moregoing into this arrangement for Sun.

In the end, it was actually pretty simple: his discussion with the Glamrocks in private while he was out on a patrol one night was very fruitful, everyone seemed to like the idea.

That hadn't been something that Moon had expected, really. They all had been happy after a little while when he had taken Sun to see them during one of their rehearsals, but that didn't mean that they were necessarily looking to spend more time with him. At least, that had been what he'd thought.

He was perfectly aware of the reputation that both he and Sun had around the 'plex. He was scary, creepy, and painted into such a cartoonish monster who was cranky and libel to snap that he was just unapproachable in general, and Sun was said to be an anxious, loud, and overbearing mess. Neither of those were the case at all, but that didn't mean that people saw that.

Sun was sweet, he was so good with the children, and he was adorable in the way that he saw the good in people. Moon had been so worried that after everything that had happened that Sun would hate him, but in the end it wasn't something that he'd had to worry about at all.

Sure, there was a lot for them to talk about, and there were conversations that they still sometimes had to have to address what had happened the night the little kid had been running around the pizzaplex with many of the animatronics, himself included, out for blood. It was hard, getting over these things, but Sun- with his almost infinite patience and understanding- was always there when Moon's progress in coming back from all that reached a snag that almost set him back a few steps.

He'd had to shake off that thinking after having his talk, though. That wasn't what he needed to concentrate on, what he wanted to. He was going to do something for his Sunny, something that was going to have him on cloud nine for ages to come, he hoped. He deserved it.

And it was the season to express one's love, after all.

There wasn't anything that either of them could do with chocolates, seeing as they didn't have the function to eat like Chica did, and Moon briefly considered flowers before he came to the realization that he didn't really have a way to get ahold of any; it wasn't like he could ask one of the daycare assistants or night guards to pay for and bring him something to get for Sun on top of what he had planned, to sweeten the deal.

So instead he waited until Sun was busy and he was able to slip away to start making paper roses in the days leading up to what he had arranged.It was a little tricky hiding them from Sun, but it helped that sun couldn't climb the walls. He could hide them in the ceiling tiles, where Sun never checked. Moon definitely didn't have a secret stash of little trinkets and stolen things up there that he didn't want his counterpart to know about... His paper roses weren't very good in the beginning, and he definitely wished that he had Sun's patience as he crumpled attempt after attempt while following tutorials from the internet that he played over and over again in his head until he finally had some presentable ones. And then after some more tries, some good ones.

So he was confident that Sun would like the ones that he left waiting in a giant bundle alongside a handmade card on the table in their room, along with a little paper of words that he didn't want to include on the card that he already knew Sun would save. He was sentimental that way.

My Drop of Sun-shine, the roses aren't your only gift. You remember your outfit to meet the Glams? Put that on and meet me in the theater when you're ready, I have a surprise for you. - Moon

Moon ducked out of their room and crawled along the ceiling- purely because he could and he liked to for the fun of it- and let himself out of their hidden door to skitter his way to the floor outside of it. He wasn't dressed any differently than normal save for a bowtie that an assistant had brought him jokingly that had a magnet hot-glued to the back of it to stick to him. He wasn't sure that it wasn't too silly, but he was confident that Sun would get a kick out of it whether he genuinely liked it or it just made him laugh.

He waited patiently slouched against the wall for his Other, aware that Sun would already have been up in their room by now with the cleaning done. That and even if he wasn't aware of how much time he had to wait just from Sun's routine, the heavily muffled sound when Sun found the yellow and blue paper roses definitely gave away that he'd found the little spread on the table. Moon snickered quietly to himself and hummed a low and slow tune while he gave Sun time to read the card, possibly fawn over it a little, and then read the small note to the side and hurry off to get himself changed.

When he heard excited footsteps approaching down the long L-shaped hall he stood up in an actual straight posture instead of his normal slouch outside of the radius of the door so that when it was thrown open he was in no danger of being hit.

Sure enough Sun burst through the door with more enthusiasm than was strictly necessary, his grin wild and eyes bright. It turned the smile on Moon's face soft and fond to see him like that, there was just no way to avoid being absolutely enamored with his celestial mirror. "Hi," he greeted.

Arms were around his neck and a chest crashed into his before he had a chance to dodge the oncoming hug, even if only just to pull back enough to soften the momentum. He didn't actually mind. Sun held him tight and Moon could feel the way that he was practically giddy with excitement. As always with Sun, it was nearly palpable. Moon hugged him back with arms wrapped low on his torso.

"Moonie! Did you make those flowers yourself? And the card?" Sun pulled back enough to look at him, and if they were human Moon would wonder if the grin stretched so wide on his face would hurt his cheeks. Luckily they weren't human, but Moon reached up to pinch a cheek on him anyway. Sun shook him off with a little laugh, then pulled back from him more. "Oh stars, are you wearing a tie?" His laugh grew, though he covered his mouth with one hand like that would muffle the sound. Like Moon would ever even want it to. "Where- where did you even get that?"

"Does it matter?" He reached up to straighten it after the assault on his person and tried to put up a playful air of dignity that a smirk he couldn't fight definitely ruined. "I happen to think I look handsome."

"You do! I didn't say that you didn't!" Sun's giggles calmed as he reached up to gently brush Moon's fingers aside so that he could actually get the bow straight and Moon tried hard to pretend that even the little touch affected him. He was never over those small moments of contact, let alone the large ones like that hug. "How do I look?"

Moon made a circular motion with one finger and Sun did a slow twirl for him as silently directed. He was dressed in pants other than their usual poofy attire with shoes to match the more 'rock star' look, with various other things he'd seen that the Glams had, like studded bands and piercings that were magnetic for him, since his rays were not actually pierced and neither of them wanted to do that.

He even managed to make himself fake shoulder pads like some of them had, and Moon suspected that there were more magnets being utilized to keep them in place since he didn't actually see a tie around his neck for them. "Strike a pose." Sun did, pretending to be caught mid guitar riff. "Perfect. Like a real Glamrock."

"Come on, are you ready for your surprise?" Moon held his hand out and squeezed gently at the fingers that eagerly laced with his.

"Of course!" Sun fell in step beside him as Moon started to lead the two of them out of the theater and towards the main atrium elevator outside of the daycare area. "But you really didn't have to do anything else for me besides the roses, Moonpie. Those and the card were more than enough."

Never one to resist a chance to tease him, he smiled cheekily. "Oh, so we can turn around and go cuddle up while we charge until my rounds?"

Sun's hold on his hand tightened. "No, no, no! I mean, there's no need to waste the surprise that you went to the trouble to set up!"

He chuckled, a deep rumble that he knew Sun liked when they were up close to each other. "Then I guess I really did have to, didn't I?" It was going to be worth it, he was so sure of it.

Idle chit-chat about the day with the kids filled the time that it took to get to the atrium from there. While he had been there for a lot of it, though usually with a different bunch of the kids than Sun, he still listened to him go on about the games that they played and the Valentine’s cards and candies that had been exchanged between their charges that day. Of course Sun also had little cards for them that he completed on the sly after the last child was checked in so he had a complete mental roster for names; just the cheap and brand-appropriate kind like the kid’s Parents bought from big stores by the box load. But Sun and Moon both had ones in there, on top of the main crew that Sun so idolized. Moon wouldn’t be surprised if Sun had managed to keep one card of each of the main four for himself.

The soft neon glow of the atrium was a welcome reprieve to Moon’s eyes after the harsh light of the daycare halls and the elevator, and in his opinion Sun positively glowed in the blues and purples. He might have been biased in thinking that blue looked good on him, though. Sun’s attention flitted around them at the colors and sounds of the space and all the different decor. It seemed that the novelty of it was yet to wear off, but that was fair given that he had been stuck inside the daycare without system permissions to leave for so long. Everything about the rest of the giant ‘plex was bound to stay new and exciting for a while and Moon couldn’t blame him one bit. He would have gone stir crazy being trapped in their space, it was a wonder to him that Sun never had. He always actually seemed nervous and a few hairs short of overwhelmed as he was getting used to it, really.

At the end of the giant open hall they started their approach to the stage and Moon could feel the moment that Sun realized that the Glamrocks were standing up there, instruments in hand for those who played, by the way that he started to pull on their joined hands as his pace increased and there was a swinging little skip to his step. Moon stifled his laughter and allowed himself to be hurried along. It was adorable to see that his counterpart was so quietly excited, or at least he was quiet about it up until they were within earshot of the stars of the 'plex.

"Hi!" He greeted loudly as he tugged Moon to jog the last few steps to get close to the base of the stage, who grumbled good-naturedly at the treatment. "What are you all doing? I thought that there weren't any practices happening today!"

Expressions ranging from happy smiles to teasing grins greeted them back. Chica came up to the edge of the stage, mirroring Sun's enthusiasm. No one else seemed surprised that it was those two who were the ones practically jumping in place. "Hiya, Lemondrop!" Using the strap of her guitar to keep it steady she moved the instrument behind her so that she could comfortably crouch down to get closer to Sun's height. "We made an exception tonight. There was a special request." She looked over Sun's shoulder at Moon and gave him a very obvious wink.

He rolled his eyes in return with a very theatrical open-mouthed scowl. "Subtle," he muttered, though Chica would hear him this close up— their audio processors were built well enough that despite the loud music that blasted them daily, they could hear far better than a human could. She just giggled at him without an ounce of remorse.

In that time that Moon had been watching her Sun had turned around and was looking at him with a slightly confused look, his head tilted a little to the side. He could almost see an added shine to them, like Sun was some sort of puppy trying his hardest to root out what the obvious thing meant. Moon's fake annoyance melted and he pulled Sun closer to him by their joined hands. "Surprise."

Sun glanced back over his shoulder at the Glamrocks, of which only Freddy was pretending to do something other than watch them interact. Chica had her chin in both of her hands while she listened to them and watched them closely, Roxy was next to Monty while the both of them didn't look particularly entertained, yet their attention didn't waver despite their act. None of them gave him any indication about what Moon was talking about though, so he was left turning back to Moon just as his other hand was taken so that Moon was gently holding onto the both of them.

"You asked them to perform on their night off?" he guessed.

That made Moon chuckle. "No. Well, yes." He knew that his expression was softer than he was generally comfortable with other people seeing on him as he looked at the sunny animatronic. He had a reputation to uphold, after all, but he was happy to let that go in moments like this for his Sun. "They're not the only ones that are going to put on a show."

That only made Sun look even more puzzled and Moon laughed. "Happy Valentine's day. Get up there."

"Wha-?" He looked back over at the Glamrocks and then incredulously at Moon. "No, you didn't."

It was hard not to laugh harder at that and he squeezed Sun's hands again but harder this time. "You say that, but they're waiting for you and you're dressed for the part." He grunted as Sun threw himself against him and wrapped his arms around his shoulders with an ecstatic cry. He stumbled back a step in surprise but recovered quickly enough and pressed his cheek against Sun's before nuzzling into him, enjoying the tickle of the mostly-retracted rays that accommodated his closeness. Sun was nearly vibrating against him with his excitement and that was just even more proof that Moon had made the right call in planning this for him for their Valentine's night. He looked up after a minute and after catching the looks that they were getting from the group he played an audio file of a throat clearing and tried to backoff a little, though Sun wasn't letting him go just yet.

"I think he likes the idea." He tried to play off.

Monty snorted in amusement and Roxy barked a laugh, meanwhile Chica was still watching them without having moved, though her expression was far more fond now. With very obvious reluctance Sun did eventually let go when Moon gave him a few pats on the back, but not before he left a kiss on Moon's cheek. "Just you wait until later, mister," he whispered just between the two of them. Then he was completely detached from Moon and bouncing up towards the stage.

Chica offered him a hand straight away and as she stood up she brought Sun up onto the stage with her without much effort on her part. Sun dusted himself off nervously once he was up with them and did his best to hide the excitement that Moon could see pouring off of him in waves. He wondered if the Glams realized just how ecstatic he really was. Obviously he knew what every single twitch meant in his partner, but he would hope so given how much time they spent together and just how carefully Moon studied Sun when he was sure that Sun wasn't paying any attention. Even when he was sometimes, though Sun tended to fluster easily in those moments.

He backed off to the actual viewing area of the stage while Sun teetered forwards and back from his heels to the balls of his feet and back again and talked with his idols. When he had first floated this request for help to make Sun's night extra special they had all already discussed what songs Sun would know to be able to perform with them. He didn't play any instruments, so he wouldn't be any help there, but Moon was happy to know that he'd get to hear him sing. They did so often enough in the daycare, Moon during naptime and at night when it was just the two of them, and Sun sometimes while they got the daycare back in order and cleaned down with different approved sanitizing agents, besides his silly preprogrammed clean up songs he taught the kids to build good habits both there and at home.

Moon wasn’t quite as fond of those as he was the others.

The lights around the stage dimmed even further at some invisible signal from one of the band mates- perhaps Freddy or one of the others could ping the system to activate certain preset routines- and the lights above and below it started as the music for one of the songs he had listed for them started playing. They must have decided on an order for a few of them while they were talking, which Moon was happy for. It made things less awkward and flow smoother with a partial plan already in place, he was sure. It also allowed them to get the music needed into the systems of the instrument players and a drum track that played in the background- why was there no drummer in a band?- all set up. Freddy passed Sun a mic as the two of them stood front and center on stage, though Freddy did stand a couple steps back to really let Sun have the literal spotlight.

To say that Moon was enraptured by the performance wouldn’t do it justice. Sun was visibly a little nervous but happy up there on stage with the eyes of his heroes and his partner on him but the longer the first song went on the more he came out of his shell. After the first song Monty came up to clap him on his shoulder pad and shouted encouragement while Chica played the opening riff to their next song. Sun looked like he would have been absolutely breathless if they had needed to breathe, Moon was sure that his fans had to be working in overdrive to keep him cool and not just from the heat of the lights.

By the time they had worked most of the way through the list that Moon had made, Sun was hamming it up on stage like he had an audience, like he’d been made for this. Perhaps it was a bit of their old theater programming and personality pieces that hadn’t been completely deleted or suppressed. Dressed as he was and floating between the multicolored stage lights as he was, he looked completely in his element and confident in a way that he sometimes lacked. It didn’t appear that he was brave enough to get too close to the Glamrocks but there were times when he approached them, stood back-to-back with Chica without coming into contact, half-faced Freddy who mirrored the pose while they sang together. Nothing at all could have made Moon happier than seeing Sun have so much fun up there with his idols.

Like all good things, though, it eventually came to an end. Sun jumped nimbly down from the stage after passing his mic back off to Freddy and ran up to Moon, who was already walking to meet him.

”Well? What did you think?” Sun asked excitedly, though Moon could tell that he’d tired himself out by the way that he wasn’t really bouncing or otherwise moving in place. His battery might be getting a little low after that performance, especially since he could hear the way that his fans were whirling inside his casing.

”You looked like a natural up there,” he assured. “Like you were always meant to be part of the band.” He couldn’t help but lay it on a little thick while it was just the two of them, the way that it flustered Sun was just too endearing. He smirked at him and chuckled when Sun pushed him for teasing him. “Really, though. You were great up there, you should sing more in the daycare even if it’s just after hours.”

”I could say the same to you! You have a great voice, you should let more people hear you sing!” Sun put his hands on his hips and leaned forward into Moon’s personal bubble.

”Who needs to sing? Should I get my guitar back out?” Without Moon having noticed Chica had come up behind Sun, who straightened with a squeak and whirled around.

”Oh, uh… Moon has a very nice voice when he sings to the kids at nap time. I was just saying that he should try singing more often too!” Sun wrapped an arm around one of Moon’s and brought him closer as Moon spluttered out his own rising embarrassment at now being under Chica’s attention.

For all that people tended to consider Chica a bit of an air head, from what Moon heard when people forgot that he was creeping around on his patrols, she adeptly picked up that he wasn't really comfortable with the idea. At least not for the moment. "Aw, I didn't know you sang for the kids! That's adorable, I bet it puts them out like a light, you seem like you'd have a good crooner voice."

Moon was never more tempted to pull his hat down to hide his face in his life.

Luckily the chicken seemed to be in the mood to take mercy on Moon. "Next time, okay Gumdrop? Just one song, pleeeease?"

Moon couldn't look at her when his fans audibly clicked into a higher gear to contend with the heat of his embarrassment. If he could blush there was little doubt in his mind that his entire face would be changing color. "I'll think about it."

His non-committal didn't at all phase her as she pumped an arm excitedly. It was easy to tell who was going to be the easiest of the four of them for Sun to befriend when she acted like this. "That's not a no!" And then she laughed in the face of his grumbling like Sun usually did when it was all just playful. A few more minutes were spent winding down from the performance while she and Sun talked about what a great surprise it had been and how well he'd done up on stage.

After a while Moon noticed Sun leaning more into him and letting Chica carry the conversation a little more. From his peripheral he watched him while allowing Chica to finish going down her current topic of discussion to check on him. Sun got like this when he was really starting to fade. He did have a softer happy look than what he'd been sporting this entire time, his energy level was definitely coming down.

"Alright," he interrupted before a new topic could take hold and keep them any longer. "I think I need to take him back to our room and get him charged up after a full day and then all that."

Sun made a whining sound and stood back up straight but otherwise didn't fight him on that assertion at all. "Can we come to another rehearsal night soon?"

The attention of the other bandmates was called for as they settled on a good night for the next one so that he and Sun could plan to attend, and then there were a chorus of goodbyes and encouraging words to Sun with echoes of goodnights to Moon. He was sure that he would see one or two of them when he went out later on his rounds, but he didn't bother to say as much and wished the Glams a good evening themselves before he started to herd Sun back towards the daycare.

The trip back was quiet but it was a very comfortable and content brand of quiet. It was something that neither of them felt the need to break until they were all the way back into their room, just basking in each other's company while the ambient music of the 'plex gave them a soundtrack to the walk back. Their hands stayed joined the entire time just as they had been on the way there, a tender mirroring to wrap their evening up.

"I feel bad. I didn't get anything like this for you at all," Sun said when both doors leading to their room were closed before he started to shuck off the bits of his Glamrock outfit.

"You made me a card and got your hands on some soft lights for our room." It was silly to keep his back turned to give Sun some privacy to get back into his normal attire but Moon did it all the same, smacking the magnetic bowtie to the door of the fuse box taking up space on their wall. When Sun complained about it, he just laughed and assured him that it wasn't dangerous and they might as well take advantage of the space.

"Yeah," Sun argued once they were back on topic again though he still sounded disgruntled, "but you got me time to be on stage with the Glamrocks. The Glamrocks, Moon."

He laughed, checking to see if Sun was ready for him to turn around before he did so and pulled him into a hug. "It's not a competition, Sunny. I wanted to make you happy, and I love what you did for me. That's what matters, right?"

"I was not!" Regardless of his huff of annoyance, and embarrassment, he still let Moon walk him over to their makeshift bed and allowed himself to be fussed over as Moon made sure that he laid himself down comfortably to rest. "Can I make one more request for the night?"

Moon was in the midst of getting himself situated beside Sun among the pillows and the plushies and a couple pilfered blankets that weren't 'quite up to his standards anymore' to be allowed down for the kids during naptime, and had definitely not been an excuse to bring them up to the tower. "Of course you can. Whether or not you get it..." He smirked at Sun's unamused look and used the distraction to get the jump on Sun by suddenly plugging their charging cord into its port on Sun's back.

Sun shuddered and breathed out a quick "jerk" before he relaxed back against Moon. "Will you sing for me for a little while? Just until I fall asleep?"

The question was just too sweet, Moon never stood a chance in being able to refuse it. He chuckled and shuffled around so that he was half sitting up and could hold Sun against his chest. "Of course, just for you." When he leaned to press a kiss to the top of Sun's head he was intercepted, instead meeting Sun's lips. He melted instantly, holding the gentle kiss for as long as Sun let him before Sun slowly put a small amount of distance between them. It was a disgustingly domestic moment of intimacy, staring at Sun after that simple, treasured kiss. There was nothing on this world that Moon would have traded it for.

He didn't bother to pay any attention to how long they stayed like that until Sun settled against his chest and this time allowed Moon to press an affectionate kiss to the top of his faceplate without interruption. "Will you sing my favorite one?" he asked sleepily.

"As if you had to ask, morning star."

#catt rambles #again in so in love with this #💙💛💙💛💙💛#fnaf dca

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mariasabanahabanabana · 2 years ago

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Weenais Raza!!! Your ("fav") depressed bitch Is back from the dead...Literally...

Okay... First of all, I know I don't owe anyone any explanations, but, the support you given my fics - content has been too much, That in my opinion you deserve an explanation of why I have disappeared as a good Latinoamérican father... (Those from Latam will understand me)...

Where to start...? Cause actually there have been several things.. in this months everything has happened to me... I moved, I found out that you don't have to eat salmon to get salmonella (Oh but what a dirty [rancid] joke), What else... I got a job with the excuse that this would give me a reason to get out of bed (spoiler alert, it and continues to work, there's times when the action becomes a livid hell, This I'll explain later), the doctora detected me thyroid... so... I cried... I really cried a lot, I started a legal process against the medical system of my small town for medical negligence....I cried again, my mom almost kicked me out, so... I had a depressive episode (self injury) after 4 "healthy" years... But despite this, there was something "good after all" because i had found and And I swear (I know it will sound stupid and maybe it is) that I didn't know that platonic - romantic - reciprocal love could be so beautifully healthy... But just as I experienced - I went through a stage that I wanted to live at least once in my life, I also learned that communication is much more important than it seems and even more so if this relationship is through to long distance, I also understood that these kinds of relationships are too complicated, It requires extreme patience, COMMUNICATION again, clear love and a maturity that probably not all of us have at the moment. Soooo, again, this relationship isn't for everyone and I include myself in it...Tbh, I don't think I would like to have to go through that again, however, I learned a lot in the Process... Process that like everything in this life naturally ended I'll not inquire further into that since I think I already said what I had to say and by that I mean "COMMUNICATION" and for respect... To surprise (lie, I was surprised) From no one I had another depressive episode (self-injury) again, so I was in and out of the hospital, Experience that causes a rupture in the psyche of your mind Well, on the one hand, you feel that you shouldn't be there, that your reasons that led to a mental decline are banal, but on the other hand, You are also aware of how fragile the human mind is and the importance of GOING (F *ING) [IF YOU CAN]) TO THE PSYCHOLOGIST AND TAKE YOUR MEDICATIONS (Honestly, don't let them, if the doctors - specialists were sent to you it was for a reason...) Look, Im not here to take a position on psychological medication, However... i regret for thinking that I could "be okay "without them...

pobre estúpida (Poor stupid)

from: my

to: my

What else....Oh yes, I moved again to return to where I was living in a beginning, I know it sounds confusing, but let's just say that I'm a city girl who has been moving between the country and the city, and for me good or bad luck, I rather city...

Now that I remember, between my "lover - break-up era" and the constant visits to "la casa de la risa" (hospital), The 💀💀💀 anniversary of a boy - friend - boyfriend was fulfilled... And... Pfft It's been a long time (since 8th grade [high school]) that I haven't felt this miserably alone... (Seriously, I don't wish it on anyone, actually, this is one of the many reasons why the WandaVision series was and will be one of my favorites, just like her character.)

Anyway... The reason why I tell you this is, Razita, is because of the issue of long distance relationships - Mental health - Latin America and the true context that is hidden by jokes made by the Latin Americans themselves..., Cause first, no matter how hard we try to help someone with their mental health, we are not responsible for it, This can vary and yes, I'm speaking to the bullying community in general, Second, no love letter or msg are gonna replace a hug or physical contact, third and last, I count the days... No... I pray and ask whoever listens to me, Any deity that exists or if it exists, that the sentence of Nicolás Maduro is at least half as terrible long as his government term was..

And well, to finish this explanation that seems more like a mediocre attempt to show pity... I moved for who the h*ll know what number of times... So now I find myself living in Cuba and fresh out, healed, sewn up and more doped than I came in...

Is there any lesson or reflection that lrs wants to leave with this? No... I would tell them to take advantage of their life every second but no, That phrase can be the same as shit that "God's timing is perfect" And no, I'm not saying this with the intention of insulting any religion or belief, but I sincerely believe that "God" has better things to do... Or That these same phrases are toxic positivity, something that at least Im fed up with...

Anyway, I'll try to be uploading content, other than songs written based on sertraline or lamotrigine...

I know I don't know you, but with all my heart thank you for continuing to interact with my account and content...I wish you the best on this roller coaster called life... And remember... Never say "co Ger" In Latin America... Or at least not in Mexico...

#mental instability #hi its me #its me <3 #is me #its me again #its me im bitches #mariasabana #Maria wrires #Sabana Writes #tw depressing thoughts #tw depression #tw sui implied #tw self destructive behavior #tw selfhate #tw sui attempt #tw mental health #tw mental illness #tw medication

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uglypastels · 2 years ago

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okay getting to the other stuff now that i’ve said my piece about the heart-wrenching cliffhanger you’re going to keep me up at night with lmao

- he was scared of losing her and was just gonna go be sad in his room by himself🥺

- even though he’s a good pirate (can’t believe i’m a pirate apologist now) he’s killed people before but what sits heaviest with him is that he’s hurt her!!! stfu that’s so pure

- as soon as he said to just call him eddie… oh babeyyy i knew shit was abt to go down in a sinful way. but no! poor eddie was blue balled, reader had a terrifying dream, and us (actual) readers were on the edge of our fucking seat

- the crew said they’d miss her!!

- hellfire shot first, right? (i kept getting interrupted trying to read that part so it’s fuzzy to me) WHAT HAPPENED BEFORE THE RED TAIL SANK I NEED THIS BACKSTORY OH MY GOD

CAN WE TALK ABT THE SMUT JFC. cause you rly fucking delivered on that

- ‘Really? The princess had thought of me, a filthy pirate?’ ‘I’m not a princess.’ You rolled your eyes playfully. ‘Out of all the things to dispute, you argue my words of affection?’

- ^fucking swooning over these lines

- ‘So you can be good for me.’

- ^this one too

- him admitting he lost his control due to jealousy!!! idec if it’s toxic (only cause this isn’t real life) jealous eddie is so hot

- as a tit (wo)man myself, i have to give my thanks for including boob stuff *chefs kiss*

more comments of after the smut cause i apparently have a million fucking thoughts abt this chapter i’m sorry😭

- they comforted each other after their nightmares that is so goddamn sweet im SICK

- ‘I had honesty considered just locking you away and keeping you forever, but I am a man of my word, am I not?’ HE SHOULD HAVE JUST KEPT HER THERE FOREVER. TURNED TF AROUND AND NEVER LOOKED BACK

- reader writing the ransom note and changing the whole story to try to spare eddie/hellfire was so smart oh my god u rly had me fooled that they weren’t gonna get in any trouble and be seen as fucking heroes or smth

- the comment abt him not having carpet fr cracked me up

- he read her mind and shut the idea of staying with him down:(( that son of a bitch (still love him tho)

- and he didn’t tie her hands tight so she could start swinging at any moment!! (c o m e o n reader…we’re fucking waiting! punch ur dad in the face!)

- ‘governor, i see we meet again’ again!!! AGAIN?!!?!

amazing fucking chapter. ur updates always make me so excited, and i’m eagerly waiting for more<333

Dont mind me just giddily giggling over all of this 🤭 but its really hard for me to reply bc i am just rereading your comments and kicking my feet with joy. You really know how to butter me up lmao and i wish i could write rn but i'll be at the beach the whole day so i will have to do with daydreams and the notes app- which, btw, do not ever again apologise for sharing your thoughts!! I as a professional attention whore absolutely thrive off of this so please do not stop

Well, ya know the title of the fic, and it is eddie so you know he's a sweetiepie at heart. He's just been through stuff (and yessss we will find out what. All questions will be answered i hope (unless people have questions to things i did not even consider but so far i dont think that has been the case???).

And listen, with [fan]fiction, there is no such thing as red flags 🫤🙄 only black ones with skulls on them 🏴‍☠️ and toxicity is what makes everything that extra bit spicy.

I am a bit sorry for blueballing yall at the beginning, but if i hadnt then we would not have gotten the rest of the chapter as it is now?? And that counts for something suuurely

plus, i tried to hold off on the smut as long as i could bc i really really do not like writing it, as much as i am an avid lover of it, which brings me to my next point of i really appreciate all the comments on the smut bc i honestly dont know what in doing most times and it was probably the main reason why it took so long to write this chapter because i just freeze up at the mention of genitalia lmao. My brain just becomes that cymbal monkey.

Hehe i was really proud of that pirate/princess line. And the carpet one. Just gotta break up the heaviness sometimes ya know. And you just know these two have that kind of "deprication as love language" affair. Is that a even a thing? Well i made it a thing. Especially since its basically canon for this au that eddie has a major degradation kink.

In a perfect world, they would have been welcomed as heroes, but in a perfect world they also would never have kidnapped her so 🫠

And yes Again 😌

#uglypastels answers #eddielives1986 #long post #hehehehe i love this #probably a bit too much #like youd think i had not written this #but i am really this obsessed with my own work #and what about it #i have very little else going on in my life

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glassartpeasants · 4 years ago

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That ending was a stab on the heart from beginning to end I'm gonna steal bob 🏃🏾‍♀️

The One That Got Away

Shigaraki x GN!Reader

Warnings: Angst, cheating, death

A/N: Don’t threaten Bob

~~~

The bed felt different after that night.

2 months ago you had caught Shigaraki cheating on you with someone random woman. You stood in the doorway just watching, trying to find the words to say but nothing came out. It’s only when you dropped your groceries and your present to him is when he noticed your presence.

*flashback*

“Shit! (Y/N) it’s not what it looks like-” He tripped over his words. You said nothing as you just looked at him, knowing that no matter how much you loved him that there was nothing that could ever make you forget this.

“Fuck just say something!” You were still silent as you dropped the groceries you were holding. It just wasn’t clicking for you. How could he do this to you? what had you done wrong?

“What did I do wrong?” Your voice seemed to echo throughout the room. Nobody said anything. Until she spoke up.

“Oh my god, Im so sorry! I didn’t know he was taken! Please forgive me.” The girl spoke as she jumped outta bed and started putting her clothes on.

“It’s okay. I forgive you.” Those words spilled from your mouth before you could actually say anything you meant. The girl had hugged you before saying she was so sorry a final time. Flipping off Shiggy on the way out.

“(Y/N)...i promise we can talk about this.” You just kept looking at him. Those eyes seemed to burn into his soul. He doesn’t think you noticed the tears spilling from your eyes. He was about to say something to you but you started to walk towards him. Thinking he was gonna get hit he just stood still before feeling your part of the bed dip.

He turns around to see you laying there, eyes still open with tears rushing down your face, your clothes of the day still on your body.

Shigaraki tried to put his arms around you but you had hit his hands back. and used your feet to push him to the edge of the bed while you laid clung to the wall.

*flashback over*

Thinking back on it you don’t know why you didn’t just walk away. Maybe you were to tired from being busy and running errands for him all day? Did you want it to be a bad dream and hope to walk up to realize nothing ever happened? Whatever the reason was, you weren’t sure but a part of you wishes that you left that night.

Now you sit at the bar, sitting far away from what use to be your boyfriend, not even taking a glimpse of him and he knew it. You just sat in the corner drinking and looking on your phone until a familiar smell approached you.

“Oh hey Dabi.”

“Hey there (Y/N), why aren’t you hanging out with crusty over there? He keeps staring at you and the tension in here could be cut with a knife. It’s been two months and apparently everyone said i should ask what's going on.”

“Im not going near him at the moment. We’re on a break per say.” this seemed to peak Dabi’s interest as he leaned closer.

“Oh? Did crusty do something? Your secret's safe with me, i swear on my soul.” What did it matter if you told Dabi? He already doesn’t respect Shigaraki so why not, plus, so what if that fuck didn’t want anyone knowing, he shouldn’t have cheated when everyone else was sleeping in the base.

“Don’t tell anyone I told you but, 2 months ago I caught Shigaraki cheating on me...” You felt small tears prickle the corner of your eyes. Bringing your hand up to your face you rub it away, hoping to ignore the pain that was banging against your chest.

“What a dick, wanna make him pay?” You look up at Dabi who had a huge grin on his face. You thought about it for a good few seconds before shaking each others hand.

“Once Shigaraki goes out on that mission today, we’ll talk more.” Dabi said before getting up from his seat and grabbing a drink from the bar.

You didn’t know what Dabi had planned but you hoped it would bring Shigaraki the same pain you felt that fateful night 2 months ago.

~~~

You sat on the ground in Dabi’s room as he paced back in forth, coming up with revenge plans. All of them sucked or ended up with you guys might going to Jail.

“New plan, everytime Shigaraki wants to hang out tell him you had plans with me and leave the room. You can go somewhere and i’ll go somewhere with you. Effectively ditching him.” Thinking, you try to come up with all the pros and cons this proposal Dabi shared with you. But soon your hurt over ruled the logical side of you and you agreed to it not a moment later.

“Great! Now all we need is for Shigaraki to ask to hang out with you. Don’t know how long that’ll take though...”

“I usually ignore him after what happened but sometimes he asks to hang out with me whenever its a slow day at the base or if he’s bored.”

“ Well guess we have to wait tell then huh?” Nodding your head, you get up before putting a thumbs up in his direction. You walked out of his room and see Shigaraki sitting at the bar. He must have finished his mission early. You rolled your eyes before sitting on the other side of the bar counter. You could feel shigaraki look at you through father.

“Hey....”

“.....”

“Look im sorry, a-and i know that doesn’t excuse what I did but please-” You got up before he could finishing his sentence as you walked towards your shared bedroom. Going in there use to give you comfort but now everytime you step into that room you see that fateful night over and over again.

You sat on the bed before hearing Shigaraki’s footsteps coming towards the room. Furrowing your brows, you ignore him as you put your shoes on. You needed a little bit of fresh air so you were planning on going to the local park to relax a bit. You weren’t a villain like the rest of them, you were just a simple civilian. Not that you minded really. It was peaceful not fearing for your life everyday and having the fear of failure not on your shoulders.

You didn’t really have a quirk so you just ignored the questions when people asked you if you had one.

“Can I talk to you?” You were dragged back to reality when Shigaraki’s voice rang through your ears. Annoyed you just answered hoping that the conversation would be short.

“What do you want?” You voice was snappy and you could feel the venom dripping from it.

“I understand that your mad. And you have every right to be but your not even giving me a chance to redeem myself and-”

“Redeem yourself? Why the hell would I do that? YOU cheated on ME. LIke hell im gonna forgive you so easily.”

“It’s been two months! What happened was in the past!”

“It was in the past my ass. How would you like it to see your lover in bed with another?!”

“I-”

“I felt like my soul died that day. I thought I was your only one! Only to find out that you slept with her! Was she a one time thing or were there more hookups?!” You stood up from the bed as your fists turned white and your anger slowly erupting.

“.....”

“TELL ME DAMNIT!”

“Three...there were three different occasions...” Now the tears were kicking in. You were hoping that it wasn’t true. What if there was more and he was only saying three just to ease your heart?

“Why? Why would you do this to me? What did I do to deserve this?” Your questions were like knives stabbing into Shigaraki’s heart. He wanted to tell you the truth, but he didn’t want your heart to hurt more than it already was.

“Im not going to ask again Shigaraki. You either tell me the truth or I will walk out of this base and never come back.”

“The...the first time it was a drunk accident, the second time Dabi had brought her to the base and one thing led to another. The last one was the same as the second one.”

“Did...did Dabi know about the affair?” You were begging, no pleading for him not to have known. You didn’t know if your heart could take it.

“Yes...” That was it. That was the thing that broke you. Walking up to Shigaraki you pushed past him before flipping him off and saying one final line.

“I would rather die that ever be with you again.” And with that, you left the hideout. You speed walked through the alleys to get to you parked your car. Your friends house was pretty far and you didn’t feel like walking in the dead of night were criminal activity was more active.

Getting in your car, you turn on the radio and start breaking down. Your tears were blurring your eyesight as you put the car in drive.

The streets weren’t busy except for the occasion car with some college students. Or drunk people walking along the sidewalk. The sound of the radio blasting songs that were supposed to be happy barley brightened up your mood as you drove down the dark highways.

All of a sudden a bright light hit your eyes from the right side. Some fuck must have had their brights on. But you had the right away so you went. All of a sudden a huge crash rang through your ears and the world became dark.

~~~

A ring came from Shigaraki’s phone. Looking at the clock he noticed it to be 2am. Annoyed he just decided to answer it.

“Hello, this is (hospital name). You were listed under a emergency contact for (Y/N) (L/N).” Shigaraki jolted awake as his hands reached his neck, standing up and already begun to pace the floor of his room.

“Yes did something happen?!”

“At 12am tonight miss (Y/N) was in a car crash. A hit and run to be exact. Their car was totalled after it rolled about 3 times from the speed that the driver hit them. A bystander of the accident called 119. They were in need of surgery immediately once paramedics noticed that they were crushed and bleeding out quickly due to a shard of glass that was stabbed in their chest.”

“Are they okay?!” The doctor on the other end went silent.

“Im deeply sorry for your lost sir. They died during surgery trying to remove the glass that was lodged in their skin. The police are on the look for the suspect. if you wish to see them were on (blank street). Once again, im sorry for your loss. Goodnight sir.” The phone went silent as the doctor hung up.

Everything seemed to stop as the feared villain feel to his knees. Tears fell from his eyes as his body shook. He realized that now it was impossible to even try. And the last words you had ever said were ‘ you’d rather die than ever be with him again.’ Crying into his hands as his tears made a puddle on the floor.

I guess you took your words seriously.

#shigaraki tomura #tomura shigaraki #Shigaraki #tomura shigaraki x reader #shigaraki x reader #tomura shiragaki #mha #bnha #mha angst #bnha angst #tomura shigaraki angst #:)

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joontopia · 4 years ago

Text

Oncoming Storm | KSJ

pairing: Human!Seokjin x Mermaid!reader

genre: smut, slight angst, fluff, basically porn with a dollop of plot

au: fantasy au, strangers to lovers

rating: explicit, nsfw, 18+

word count: 5.6k (WILDLY UNEDITED)

warnings: slight angst, some pining, some mentions of blood, mentions of injuries, sharks, unprotected sex, biting, breast play, fingering, oral (f. recieving), multiple orgasms, cream pie, subtle mentions of religion

a/n: so here it is! and im so mad at myself because i’m posting it so late. i accidentally took a nap that turned into actual sleep. I changed the plot to this fic so many times, i was happy when i landed on a plot that i liked. please keep in mind that this fic is currently un-beta’d and un-edited. I’m still in the process of moving homes. so once I am done, I will go back and edit this fic. I really hope you enjoy this fic!

part of The Last Splash Collab hosted by @kimtaehyunq Maggie thank you so much for letting me join and putting up my shenanigans in our DMs. I love you!

The storm is close. You can feel it in the air. Sense it in the restless calm that has overtaken the ocean water around you. You know what this means, the whispers in the sea breeze only confirming your suspicions with each passing wind as you swim up to your lover’s boat. It’s time to migrate.

You had a feeling this time was coming soon. The last time a migration happened was two years ago. You remember it quite vividly. It was the very day you met the first friendly human you’ve ever come into contact with. The very handsome Kim Seokjin.

It was at the beginning of the last migration. Your tribe of merpeople had just entered into your new territory, having followed the strong storm current until the flow started to calm. The usual indication that your tribe has reached whatever new home the God of the Sea has called you to. Everything was going fine, the heavy storms had kept the waters clear of any boats to help prevent any humans from witnessing pods of merpeople in the water. It wasn’t until your pod had reached the end of the current tunnel when trouble had struck.

A group of rogue sharks were there to greet your people. Circling and dividing your clan, trying to weed out the weak swimmers from the strong. Many of your people were able to swim away, the warriors of the group fought off the sharks with no major injuries or casualties, managing to make the attackers flee the area. All but one. In the midst of all the chaos, one of the sharks had successfully rounded up two young mermaids who had gotten separated from the pack, circling them as if playing with them. Feeding off the sense of their fear before striking to kill. It wasn’t until you noticed the dark, hungry eyes of the deadly hunter focused on you that you realized what you had done. The blood from the cut on your arm won it’s attention, allowing the two younglings to scurry away to safety.

You hadn’t even noticed you had done it. Instincts kicking in, causing you to grab one of the sharp shells on your necklace. Your body moving quickly on its own to create the mark, knowing the blood hungry beast wouldn’t be able to help itself. You turned the opposite way from where the younglings escaped and swam away as fast as you could, the shark following closely behind you. You looked around you, hoping to find a cave or possibly one of your fellow mer-warriors to help you with your escape. You don’t know how far or how long you swam, dodging each attack the shark attempted on you. You could feel your body growing tired, your tail not able to keep you at the same speed as before. You sense the shift in the water, your attacker positioning himself for another strike. You use the last of your strength to dodge once again, barely evading the shark’s bite as a few of his teeth clip your side. Traces of your blood dissipate into the water as you once again start to swim away, the pain of your new injury destroying the rest of your energy. You start to think you’re finally done for until you’re suddenly dragged up and out of the water. The sudden rush of fresh air invading your lungs as you look around you in a panic, gripping at the netted rope that you found yourself ensnared in.

With night time in its full glory in the sky, you try to use the light of the moon to check your surroundings. It’s not until you feel yourself moving around in the air that your eyes finally see the fishing boat your entrapment is attached to. Panic takes over as the predicament of your situation starts to settle in. In the midst of escaping one of your kinds’ greatest threats, you managed to get yourself caught by the next worst thing. Humans.

You reach for one of the shells on your necklace, yanking it free and trying to make quick work on the ropes holding you captive. You nearly make a hole big enough for you to slip out and back into the water when you feel the net dropping, your body slamming hard on the deck of the boat. You scramble to get yourself free of the net before your captor has a chance to make an appearance. Your tail thrashes around wildly, making you feel like the quite literal fish out of water that you are. You silently pray the thrashing and the sea breeze is enough to quickly dry your scales, allowing your lower body to take on a human form. Your wish goes unanswered, replaced by the grace of the net being freed from around you. You flip to your stomach, adrenaline coursing through you as you try to scoot yourself to the edge of the boat. Your blood pumps so loudly in your ears, deafening you to the heavy footsteps coming up from behind. You’re nearly to the back of the boat when you feel hands clasp your arm, your fight or flight reflex causing you to flip back over, slapping your newest attacker across the face with your tail. Successful knocking them away and on their ass. You go to turn back to make your escape when you hear the voice of your attacker. His choice of words halts you from jumping back into your home.

“Wait! The shark is still there!” He exclaims, pure panic and genuine concern laced in his vocals. You keep your eyes on the water, breathing heavily as you peer into the dark abyss in front of you, trying to see if the shark was still indeed awaiting for your return into it’s hunting ground. Thinking your fate is sealed either way, you consider risking it before once again being interrupted by his voice.

“Please, I’m not going to hurt you. I was trying to help-- Holy hell…” The stranger's words die out as you turn to look at him, his eyes on your body as you follow his gaze down to your dissipating tail. The usual bluish purple of your scales slowly shed from you. The now smooth appendage slowly forms into the shape of human legs, having dried enough to allow the transformation. The remaining scales of your tail cling to your flesh in patches, glinting in the moonlight as you move to curl into yourself and put distance in between you and the strange man before you.

“You’re actually real. Mermaids are actually real,” the man speaks softly, as if to himself. His eyes locked on the fallen scales scattered across the floor. You take in a few deep breaths, watching him carefully as you build up the courage to speak.

“Please…” you gasp. The man’s eyes flicking up to yours, his features softening as he notices the fear in your eyes. “Please just let me go.”

The man scans your body quickly one last time, shock taking over his gaze as he scrambles to his feet, removing the weather jacket from around his shoulders and approaches you slowly. You flinch in fear, the man halting and holding his hands up as he takes a small step back.

“No, no. It’s okay, I’m not going to hurt you. Please, just take this. I don’t want you to get cold.” He slowly hands the jacket in your direction. You eye it carefully before looking back up at his face, trying to find any trace of deceit in his demeanor. You find nothing but softness, allowing yourself to accept his offer, taking the jacket from his hands and wrapping it around you.

“Thank you,” you mutter, clutching the jacket closer to you as you continue to watch your unexpected savior.

“Here, let me help. We should get your wounds patched up,” He says to you as he slowly approaches you again, his hand still held out towards you. This time looking to help you to your feet. You cautiously take his hand, allowing him to pull you upright. You let go of him prematurely, not anticipating how shaky your lower body would be. You try to take a step forward, following him to a nearby bench only for your newly formed legs to give way causing you to start to fall forward and straight into the man’s arms. “Woah, easy there. Hold on tight, okay?”

You nod your head meekly, blushing as you hold on to his arm as he walks you to the bench and sits you down. Your hand slides down his arm as you let him go, allowing you to feel the firmness of his muscles as he pulls away. He kneels down beside you, opening a small door under the bench and pulls out a small red case. You watch him as he moves, eyes falling on to the wide expanse of his shoulders as he opens up the case, pulling out various bandages and ointments. He looks back up at you and you quickly look away. Your blush deepening from being caught staring at him. You notice his smirk out of the corner of your eye as he holds out his hand, gesturing towards the injuries on your side. “May I?” he asks you, the gentleness in his tone chipping away at your resolve. You nod once again, moving the jacket just enough to expose your injuries to the man.

He quickly goes to work, silence falling between the two of you as he starts cleaning your wounds. You watch him as he works, admiring the determination in his eyes. You observe his face, tracing the slight dip of his nose and observing the pink plushness of his lips. Finding it cute how he has them slightly parted as he focuses on your scratches. As if he feels you watching him, his eyes flicker up to meet your gaze for only a second before looking back down at his current task and clearing his throat.

“So what's your uh… Or do you have a name? What can I call you?” He asks you, a blush creeping up on his face as he starts to feel self conscious over his question.

You giggle at the cuteness, knowing this has to be a new social experience for the two of you. This being the first time you’ve ever interacted so closely with a human and, considering his reaction earlier, this would be his first interaction with someone of your kind as well. You clear your throat as well, hoping your shyness has subsided enough for you to be able to speak clearly.

“I do. It’s Y/N. Thank you for saving me. I would have never expected this type of kindness from a human.” You smile down at him as he chuckles at your words. He places the last of the bandages on your wounds, packing up the small case and placing it back in its spot beneath the bench.

He looks up at you, blessing you with a breathtaking smile that knocks the air from your lungs. The sight of the simple gesture melting away the rest of the protective guard you held up and seeping straight into your heart, wanting nothing more than to stay this close to him. You feel the warmth radiating from his hand that’s resting on your exposed knee, finding comfort in the closeness from this complete stranger. You don’t notice how out of tune with reality you become until you see his lips start to move, the honey sweet baritone of his voice bringing you back to the moment. “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Y/N. My name is Seokjin.”

He let you stay on the boat that night, allowing you to take the bed as he slept up on the couch in the cabin. Giving you somewhere safe to stay as you waited for morning, in hopes that it will allow you a safe return into the ocean to reunite with your tribe. You had thought you would never see him again, but fate had a different plan. It was only two short weeks later that you found yourself venturing upon his boat. You had stayed a safe distance away, wondering just how many boats with purple stripes down the side existed on this side of the water. It wasn’t until you saw the enscripted boat name “Epiphany” on the side shortly before the handsome, wide shouldered captain made his appearance. The moment he noticed you approach his vessel, he gave you the warmest smile, helping you onboard and offering you a blanket to cover your transforming body.

Since that day, the both of you made these little visits a weekly tradition. Spending the whole day learning about each other, swapping stories about each other's worlds. Growing closer and more intimate in your interactions the more time you spend with each other. The hellos and goodbyes were combined with hugs. Casual conversations were enhanced by subtle touches and soft grazes of each other's skin. Then one night during a full moon, the first of which you two were able to enjoy together, Seokjin found the courage to pull you close, asking you if it was okay to give you a kiss.

You remember being taken back by the softness of his plush lips, how your body melted into his from the tenderness of his touch. It wasn’t long before you began staying the night with Seokjin, sharing his bed while exploring each other’s bodies. You had never been touched by a man before. Had expressed that concern with him only to be comforted with the knowledge that he wouldn’t pressure you to do anything you didn’t want.

You smile at the memory of your shared nights together, not realizing you had made it to the Epiphany until you hear Seokjin’s voice cutting into your thoughts.

“Arms too tired to pull yourself up?” He teases you as he looks over the side of the boat, smiling as he watches you wading in the water.

You stick your tongue out, mocking his laughter as he reaches for you, helping you onto the deck. “ Ha ha. You’re quite the comedian, Jinnie,” you tease back, savoring each sound of his addictive laugh as it rings through your ears. Oh, how you’re going to miss that laugh.

The reminder of the oncoming storm brings your mood back down. The sudden shift in your demeanor doesn’t slip past Seokjin. His brows furrow in concern as he watches you, handing you the towel and one of his t-shirts he had waiting for you. You start to pat your scales dry, refusing to look at him as you’re not quite ready to break the news. Much to your dismay, Seokjin was not on the same page as you.

“What’s wrong, love?” His voice addresses you softly. His genuine concern for you wraps you in a warm embrace, causing unwanted tears to begin to pool at your waterline. You still don’t look up at him. Your gaze trained on your shedding scales as you dry off your upper body before pulling his t-shirt over you. As the fabric passes your nostrils, you breathe in deeply, taking in every note of his scent and committing it to your memory. Your heart begins to ache with every breath you take. You finally look up at him once your legs finish transitioning, standing from your spot on the deck. He reaches out to help steady you, a reaction you know he did without even thinking. The ache in your heart deepens as you grab onto his forearms to balance.

You take a deep breath as you prepare yourself for what you’re about to say. “I have to leave, Jin.”

His features contort in confusion, his hands still on your waist as he questions your words. “So soon? But you just got here,” he responds, the gravity of your statement completely lost on him.

“No,” you say as you shake your head. Tears threaten to spill over as your voice begins to shake. “I have to leave. The storm, Jin. It’s coming.”

Jin continues to look at you in confusion. It takes a full minute before he realizes what you mean, his eyes growing wide with panic indicating to you that he’s caught on.

“Are you sure?” he asks. “It could be just a terrible storm. Just like before.”

The hopefulness in his voice nearly breaks you. You wished he was right. Wished this was just a false alarm. It was almost a year ago from this day when you thought the storm for the migration was starting. There were only small indicators that the brewing weather was going to be it, but enough indicators that had you convinced it was going to happen. It was also the first night you gave yourself completely to Seokjin, wanting your last night with him to be a memorable one. When you had learned in the following days that the threatening storm had passed, you were ecstatic, wasting no time to race back to Seokjin and into your rightful place beside him. You spent every night with him in his arms ever since. But now the omens of what's to come are back again. And this time they are very much real.

You shake your head at him once again, stepping into him and leaning your head onto his chest as he wraps his arms around you. Holding you tightly as if you were going to disappear right there. “I’m sure of it, Jinnie. The tribe’s elders confirmed it this morning. The storm will be here in three days.”

Silence grows between you two as you stand there holding each other. You have no idea what to say at this moment. No idea what either of you could say, but you just want to hear his voice. Just want to hear it as much as possible before your inevitable departure. As you fail to search for something to say, you feel the vibrations in his chest from him starting to talk and you're grateful that it’s only one of you that's at a loss of words. It’s not until you hear what he asks that you wish the two of you sat in silence just a little longer.

“What if you don’t leave? You can stay with me. Live by the shore, somewhere remote where you’ll be safe.”

Your tears begin to fall freely as you pull away from him. His arms only loosen around you slightly, giving you just enough space to lean back and look up at him. “Bad things happen to mermaids who get separated from their pack. The loneliness will eat away my soul, changing me into something dangerous. I would no longer be myself.”

“Then I’ll come with you,” Jin states confidently, looking down at you with determination in his eyes. Your tears fall faster as you shake your head again.

“It’s too dangerous, Jin. The storm will kill you. The Gods created this specifically to keep us safe as we travel in masses.”

Jin closes his eyes, his shoulders slumping in defeat as he leans his forehead against yours. His breathing becomes ragged as he continues to hold you closely. “Then stay with me until you need to leave. Only if you can,” he whispers to you, the slight tremble in his tone crushing your heart.

“I can do that,” you respond, leaning up on tiptoes as you place a soft kiss on his plush lips.

The two of you spend the rest of your day talking, Jin asking every possible question he can think of, trying to find a way to decipher where this storm may take you. You answer him the best you can with the limited information that you have. Tribal Elders have tried their best to determine a pattern in the way your new homes were chosen, but never find anything concrete. It is a decision truly left up to the Gods.

As night falls upon you, you feel the exhaustion come over you. Slowly leading Seokjin to the bed, you curl up into him the moment you both settle onto the mattress, clinging on to him with all your might. Not wanting to part from him until you absolutely have to. He places soft kisses on your head as he holds you just as close, humming to you in his sweet voice as he starts to rock the two of you to sleep.

Not wanting to sleep just yet, you readjust yourself slightly, allowing yourself enough space to move closer to Jin’s lips, kissing them as soon as you reach them. He kisses you back and you waste no time to deepen the connection, licking his bottom lip with your tongue as a wordless request to enter. He reciprocates, the both of you parting your lips, your appendages dancing around each other in a fiery passion.

You run your hand down his bare body, slowly making your way to the hem of his pants. Seokjin stops you, grabbing your hand into his own.

“We don’t have to do this,” Jin whispers to you, trailing kisses along your face. “Being here with you is enough.”

“I want to, Jin. Please, make love to me.” Your voice shakes in your response, your lips trembling from the sob building in your chest. Jin stops it with his own lips, capturing yours into another deep kiss.

Releasing your hand, Jin helps you undress himself before pulling your lone shirt from over your body. He lays you back against the bed, placing more soft kisses across your face before trailing his lips down your body. He stops at your breast, taking a moment to circle your pert nipples with his tongue. He gives each a small suck, the sensation causing you to arch your back, shoving your breast further into his face. Before releasing the last bud, Jin gives it a soft nibble, chuckling at the light gasp that escapes from you before continuing to lower himself down your body.

As he makes it to your core, he places your legs on his shoulders, rubbing your thighs as he looks up at you. “I’ll take care of you, my love. I’ll make sure you never forget tonight,” he coos at you as he places two fingers on your lips, forming a V with them to spread you apart. You feel him lick a strip right up your center. A delicious shiver crawls up your spine at the satisfying feeling. He gives you another lick, making a point to flick his tongue against your clit once he reaches the top. You feel your arousal leaking from your heat as Jin repeats his movements. You let out a groan with each stroke, your legs beginning to shake on top of his shoulders from the subtle teasing.

You feel him gather your wetness on two fingers, slowly slipping both inside of you at once. You arch your back again at the pressure, trying your best not to squirm with each pump of his hands. Jin holds you down by the waist with his other hand to keep you in place as he picks up his speed, scissoring his fingers every few pumps to spread you apart. The moment you feel your walls begin to quiver, the pressure against them growing from the third finger Seokjin adds into your hole. He begins to move even faster, adding a curl to his fingers with each passing stroke. It’s not long before you feel a knot form inside of you, your toes curling at pleasure coursing through your body. You quickly feel yourself approaching the edge of your orgasm, the growing volume of your moans giving Jin a good indication of how close you really are. You think you hit a stall in your pleasure when Jin surprises you, wrapping his lips around your clit and sucking hard. It’s not until he gives your swollen nub a quick flick with his tongue that the knot releases, your body shaking as you cum around his fingers.

Jin continues to finger you through your orgasm, slowing his speed as he helps ease you down. The euphoric feeling takes over your body, too busy riding the high to notice Jin removing himself from your core. You’re barely down from your high when you feel Seokjin hover above you, slowly lining himself up to your pulsing entrance. He rubs the head of his cock around your slick hole, gathering us as much of your juices as he watches you, waiting to see if you’re okay with what’s to come next.

“Do you want to keep going, my love?” he asks you so sweetly. The tenderness in his tone sings to your heart, the need for him growing with each passing moment.

“Yes, Jinnie. Please. Need you,” You whimper as you slowly push down onto him, your body begging to feel him where you want him the most.

“I’m all yours, darling,” he assures you, pushing into you at the same time.

You both groan in unison at the sensation. Jin slowly pumps in and out of you, sinking into you deeper with each motion as he patiently waits for your walls to adjust to him. As he buries himself inside of you, he watches your face for any signs of pain only to be met with your features contorting in pleasure. He pauses his movements, waiting for you to give him a sign that you're ready to continue. You try to answer him by grinding down your hips, only resorting to a verbal response once you notice he didn’t pick up on the action.

“Move, Jinnie. Please,” you whine as you wrap your hands around his shoulders, bringing him into you for a kiss. Jin starts his pace off slow, matching it with the speed of your shared kiss. Your walls continue to pulse around him with each slow drag, the tip of his length hitting that small bundle of nerves deep inside of you every time he buries himself to the hilt. You shamelessly whine for more, Jin wasting no time to answer the call. He speeds up his pace, pumping inside of you relentlessly. The familiar knot grows inside you quickly once again as each thrust pushes you closer to another release. You can sense Jin’s release coming closer as well by the way his thrusts become shorter and sloppier. He breaks your lips apart, leaning his forehead against yours as you both pant in pleasure.

“Cum with me, darling,” he groans as he moves one of his hands in between your bodies, placing his thumb on your swollen clit and rubbing it in circles. The added sensation is enough to send you back over the edge, your walls clamping down on Jin’s shaft with each pulse of your release as you call out his name. His own release overcomes him as he slams inside of you, filling you with his warm seed as he joins you, groaning out your name. He braces his arms beside your head, trying his best to keep himself from crushing you under his body weight, leaning down to capture your lips in another kiss.

The next two days were spent exactly like this. The two of you never leaving the safety of the cabin, pretending like the outside world no longer existed. It was just the two of you in this bed, sharing the love you have for each other in every way possible.

By the dawn of the third day, the slight rocking of the boat from the restless waves wakes you, warning you that the migrating storm has begun. Jin stirs beside you, feeling your movements as you start to climb out of the bed. He sits up next to you, grabbing your arm before you are able to fully climb off the mattress and pulls you into him, hugging you to his body as he whispers into your ear, “Please, not yet. Just give me a few more minutes.”

You don’t argue or try to move. Knowing good and well you’d regret not taking these last few minutes when you have the chance. You hold each other in silence for just a few more minutes before Jin cups your chin gently, angling your face to kiss you deeply. You return it, the two of you pouring every once of love you have for each other into the kiss. After another moment, you force yourself to pull away, standing from the bed as you face the man before you. The boat now rocking more heavily as the winds begin to pick up.

“You have to leave now, Jin. You’re running out of time before it becomes unsafe.”

He slowly nods his head as he begins to move, quickly dressing himself as soon as he gets up from the bed. You reach out your hand, watching as he takes it willingly, interlocking your fingers together as he starts to pull you towards the stairs leading to the deck. You walk in silence to the back of the boat, not finding the courage to release his hand, silently wishing to the Gods that you didn't have to leave.

You turn to him, looking up at him as he smiles sadly down at you. “Please don’t forget me,” you whisper softly, tears once again falling down your cheeks.

Jin reaches up with his free hand, wiping away the droplets as his own tears begin to streak his face. “I’ll never forget you. We’ll see each other again. This is not how we end.”

The confidence in his tone stabs at your heart. Filling you with a hopefulness that you know will only crush you in the end. “How are you so sure?” you croak as your tears fall harder. “The world is big, and I have no idea where I’ll go and when.”

“The sea brought us together before, it will help us find each other again.” Jin leans down to kiss you one last time, as if to seal his uncertain promise. After a moment, he backs away, releasing your held hands at the same time. “Now go, before it's too late. I will find you. I promise. I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you, Seokjin.”

You give each other one last look before you turn around. You take a deep breath before diving into the water, the scales of your tail forming quickly from the moisture. You swim yourself a ways towards the direction of your tribe, wanting to put as much distance between yourself and the man you love before resurfacing. Fearing that your resolve would not be strong enough to keep you from returning back to him. Once you feel like you made it far enough, you swim towards the surface, turning around immediately as you break out of the water. Your heart rips into tiny pieces as you watch the image of the Epiphany disappearing into the distance.

It’s been five months now in your new home. The beauty of the ocean and surrounding islands are just as captivating as all your previous homes, but something is keeping you from being able to enjoy your new slice of paradise. Something that you miss dearly every single day since you migrated. You feel the need to clear your mind, no longer wanting to dwell in your own sadness. You venture out into your new territory, swimming out further than you have before. You’re not sure why you do it, wandering this far out from the safety of your tribe being a completely reckless choice to make. Your only reasoning being that you’re just allowing the sea to take you wear you need to go, trusting in the Water Gods to keep you safe as you free float along the surface of the water. You happen upon a small island cove, hiding behind the tall rocks protruding from the water to provide you shelter from the heat of the sun. You close your eyes, losing yourself in the ambience of the ocean as the subtle song of waves breaking starts to lull you into a dream.

Your mind wanders to your lost love, your heart aching for him as you imagine what he could be doing at this very moment. You picture him on his boat, leaning over the edge with a fishing pole in hand. The image in your mind being drawn from pieces of your memories. The vision feels so real, so detailed in your mind, you feel like you can practically hear the soft rumble of his boat engines.

Suddenly, you feel a displaced vibration in the water, the very rumbles you were just imagining now sounding a lot louder and much closer than your distant memory. You lean up from your free float, looking around you for whatever may be causing the disruption to your day dreaming. Peering out into the horizon, you faintly see a small vessel approach you. You quickly duck behind the nearest rock, hoping whoever is approaching hasn’t noticed you. You start to slowly sink under the surface, preparing yourself to make your escape when a sudden pull in your heart begs you to stop.

You peer out from your cover, watching the small boat carefully as it moves closer. The boat turns ever so slightly, allowing the purple stripes along the side to become visible. Your eyes grow large, a wide smile spreading across your face as you jump from around the secrecy of the rock and swim closer to the approaching vessel, the silhouette of it’s wide shouldered captain becoming more visible with each passing stroke.

#bangtaninn #bangtansorciere #bangtanarmynet #kwritersworldnet #btswritingcafe #hyunglinenetwork #bts smut #seokjin smut #bts fanfic

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in-ky · 4 years ago

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Hi! I’d love a story about Negan being a serial killer who only kills “bad people” (like in Dexter) and maybe he saves the reader from her ex who’s about to kill her and Negan can save her and takes her in because she’s a mess but she’s actually a killer herself (who kills rapists etc/ only the bad ones) and Negan and the reader start fighting and then get caught up in steamy hot sex 🥵 thank you!

Savior - Negan Killer AU

Warnings: Warnings: GORE + violence, smut, domestic abuse, swearing, dirty talk ig? idk how to tag this lol

A/N: hey! i struggled over this one for a while lol. ive only seen like. 3? episodes of dexter so. i really hope this meets your expectations! also forgive any mistakes its late, im tired, and i wanna get this up lol. also, is negan batman? maybe. 3.7k words

"Will, stop you're hurting me!" I hissed, grabbing at his wrist. He tugged me out of the bustling restaurant and into the dark street.

"I don't really give a shit," He snarled, throwing me into a secluded alleyway a few buildings down from the restaurant. Will had taken me out to a business dinner with his boss in hopes of showing me off and making a good impression. But things didn't quite go according to plan. "You embarrassed me in front of everyone!" He pushed me against the brick wall of the closed department store.

"What was I supposed to do?" I sneered, trying to wiggle away from him "He kept commenting on my body, saying how he wished he could take me home at the end of the night and do all kinds of 'unspeakable things to me'."

"You were just supposed to shut up and take it!" Will said, voice filled with rage "But no, you and your untamable fucking complex just couldn't handle a compliment. You threw your drink in his face! You're lucky he didn't fire me right then and there. You made me look like some pussy who can't control his whore."

"You're an asshole." I shouted, tears welling at the edges of my eyes. Will's face contorted further into a look of pure, unadulterated hatred.

"What the fuck did you just call me?" He seethed, clasping his hand tightly around my throat and constricting his fingers around my airway.

"I said you're an asshole who cares more about his dead-end career than his fucking girlfriend." I croaked. I hated him. I hated him so much. My vision clouded with the combination of disgust, loathing, and lack of oxygen, so I hit him where I knew it hurt. "There's a reason you needed me for arm candy tonight. It's 'cause you're a boring, piece-of-shit, lowlife who has no skill whatsoever. How does it feel knowing you need me to make something of yourself?" With that, he threw me to the ground by my throat. He wasted no time and pinned me to the cold concrete. His knees dug into my shoulders and his hand flew to his back pocket, whipping out the switchblade he carried as a precaution against mugging. My eyes widened as they caught a glint of the moonlight off the sharp knife. He brought the blade up to my throat and slapped me over the cheek harshly with his free hand.

"You better take back those words, bitch," He hissed, pressing the blade into the soft skin of my jugular "or they might just be your last." A dribble of blood ran down my neck with the pressure. Realization flashed through my mind. I could die right then. That could have been my last moment. Was I scared? No. Why wasn't I scared? Maybe it had to do with the shadowy figure that was slowly approaching us from the ally entrance.

There was plenty of time for me to warn Will that someone was coming. But I didn't. Instead, I stayed quiet and watched as the shadow figure pulled Will from my body with ease and tossed him to the side. Everything was kind of a blur. I was still oxygen starved and filled with a whirl-wind of emotion. I heard Will cry out in surprise and indignance. The shadow figure said nothing. It saw the switchblade with a steady line of my blood. It kicked Will in the chest, knocking him to the ground. Then it lifted up a baseball bat over its head and cracked it down over Will's skull. He continued to beat Will until he stopped squirming. The shadow figure paused and swung the bat over his shoulder. I had regained my breath and pushed myself to my elbows. The shadow noticed me moving and took a few heavy steps in my direction. I squirmed away slightly, instincts telling me to get away from the thing that had just pulverized my boyfriend. The shadow entered a stream of moonlight. It was a man. He had peppered hair and a blood-speckled face. He had dark brown eyes and a small smile perched on his lips.

"You okay, sweetheart?" He said. His voice was deep. I was partially surprised. He wasn't a bulky man. He was tall and had a broad frame, but his limbs were long and his body was lithe. He wore a leather jacket and his boots were slick with what I could only assume were Will's brains. I didn't want to look at his bat.

"W-Why did you do that?" I whispered. It was all I could muster.

"He was going to kill you." The man sounded confused, like I was supposed to know who he was and why he saved me.

"You don't know that." My voice was quiet. My eyes were glued to a spot behind the man, unblinking. He let out a throaty chuckle and dropped to a squat, leveling with me.

"Doll, he had a knife pressed to your throat," His words were gentle "Looked like he was gonna fuckin' kill you." He hesitantly reached out two fingers in the direction of my face. I didn't move. He was wearing leather gloves. The ridged fabric ran along my injuries. "Seems like he did some damage before I could step in. Damn. Sorry about that. Listen, I live a few streets down. If you want, I can get you cleaned up."

"Okay," I said softly. I let him help me up to my feet. He guided me along with one arm while holding his bat with the other. As we walked out of the alley I couldn't help but look down at Will, or what remained of him at least. His forehead was split in half, a pool of chunky blood bubbling on the ground. I clenched my jaw and forced myself to swallow the bile that had risen in my throat. And yet, I didn't feel sad. I didn't mourn him. Maybe it was shock, maybe it wasn't. "Thank you?" I murmured, though it was more of a question. The man and I stepped out onto the street and I was grateful there was no one around to see us leaving the scene of a very heinous-looking crime.

"No problem, doll," The man hummed, setting a brisk pace down the sidewalk. "The name's Negan, by the way." Cool. Negan: my Savior.

~~~

"So you're like Batman?" I asked Negan as he dabbed the blood away from my neck. He gave a short chuckle and tore away the sticky part of the band-aid.

"I guess you can say that," he mused, splaying the bandage over the cut the knife had left "but I specifically go for people that I know have hurt others. The baddies, if you will."

"Is that legal?" I tilted my head, crossing my ankles as they dangled over the bathroom counter. My palms were flat on the surface of Negan's marble sink top, fiddling with the wrappers of the medical supplies he had used to clean and bandage my small cuts and bruises.

"I haven't been caught," Negan shrugged "besides, it's less work for the police. They don't have to do any interrogation bullshit or anything. I usually catch people in the act, like tonight. Then I do my thing."

"Do you kill everyone?"

"Only the bad people," He reminded, tossing away a bloody tissue "only people who have hurt others. But, yes, usually the offender ends up on the business end of Lucille over there." He pointed out the door into the living room, where the still-bloody bat rested against a chair. I furrowed my brow.

"Well, doesn't that make you a bad guy?" I pressed. He tapped my knee and I dropped down to the tile floor, tucking my hair behind my ear and gathering some of the scraps.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you still kill people, right? Even if they're bad? So doesn't that still make you a killer?" Negan was quiet for a minute. "Let's put it this way," I continued "What would you do if you came across someone who was like you; someone who hurt the bad people. Would you still kill them. They're hurting people." Negan took a deep breath and let it out with a contemplative sigh, itching his bearded chin.

"I'm not sure," He mused "I've never really thought about it before. See, I don't consider myself a bad person per say. Yea, what I'm doing might be considered fucked up. But I'm doing it for the right reason. I'm protecting people by attacking their attackers. In the end, someone's saved." He brushed off his hands and led me out of the bathroom, flicking the light off. "Would you rather me not have saved you tonight?"

"No," I said immediately "thank you. Really, thank you. You saved my life. Will is...was...always a dick, but I never thought he'd actually hurt me. I guess that proves people can have a whole bunch of layers." Negan nodded and moved to the kitchen. He raised a bottle of whiskey as an offering. I shook my head but he poured himself a glass.

"I was just doing my job," Negan grinned sympathetically "I'm sorry your boyfriend was an asshole who tried to murder you." I shrugged, amusement in my eyes.

"Eh, it happens to everyone." I smiled as he let out another laugh. I felt as if I shouldn't be laughing, but at the same time, everyone has their own responses to almost getting stabbed to death in an alley. So I let myself have this moment. Besides, Negan was a good guy to be around. He made me feel safe, comfortable, secure. Everything I needed right now. "So, Negan, what do you do? Surely vigilante-ing can't pay well, and this apartment is really nice."

"I'm a retired baseball player," Negan said, sipping his whiskey and settling into one of the armchairs in the living room "Hence the bat."

"Were you any good?" I asked. He let out a loud scoff.

"Was I any good?" He mocked "Sweetheart, I have a whole damn trophy room. I was fucking amazing. I just got old."

"So you're rich with no real job, you kill bad guys, and you have a massive ego," I listed "You really are like Batman, aren't you?"

~~~

Negan let me stay on his couch that night. It was leather, like everything else that man seemed to own, but it was comfortable. I woke up to the smell of bacon filling the air. I groaned and rubbed my fists against my eyes, clearing them of sleep. I stretched my arms above my head in a yawn and rolled off the couch, stumbling into the kitchen. Negan was hunched over the bubbling pan, dodging pellets of grease as they shot up at him.

"Smells good!" I purred, closing my eyes and taking a deep inhale.

"Good," He grumbled "You better fucking enjoy it because I've gotten burned at least three times." I laughed and walked up to him examining the small red patches that dotted his arms.

"You didn't have to make me breakfast you know."

"Yea, but I wanted to make sure you were comfortable," He sighed, turning off the stove and scooping the cooked bacon onto a paper towel. "Besides, I was craving some bacon when I woke up. I haven't had someone to share a meal with in a while."

"Well, if you want, you can come by my house for dinner." I offered, crunching down on a piece of bacon "I've been meaning to whip out the family alfredo recipe for a while, maybe a hot date would give me that incentive." I gave him a playful wink and he chuckled.

"Sure thing, doll," He hummed, putting the pan in the sink "I love me some fucking spaghetti. I'll see you around seven?"

"Sounds good."

~~~

I ran down the sidewalk, chest heaving. There was enough darkness to cover me, but I still kept my head down to prevent recognition. I held my hands close to my stomach, praying that the blood on my fingers wouldn't drip on the pavement and leave a trail. I had been on my way home from the store when I heard some commotion coming from an alley. My first instinct was to run, but then I heard the girl crying for help. Negan came to mind, what he did, how he helped people. I couldn't turn away. I marched down the alley and saw a greasy man pinning a woman to the wall of a building. Flashbacks of the night before hit me like a train. I looked on top of the alley dumpster and saw a crowbar perched on one of the lids. I grabbed it and stormed up to the man, whacking him upside the head with the weapon. I kicked him to the side and brought the crowbar over my head before swinging it down. It connected with his face in a sickening 'thwack.' I thought of Will. I thought of what might of happened if Negan had never stopped him. I thought of all the times that bastard had gotten drunk and told me I was nothing. I let the rage bubble up and fuel my beating. By the time I was pulled back into the moment, my muscles were screaming, the woman was gone, and the man's face was unrecognizable. I tossed the crowbar into the dumpster and ran back home.

Dried blood is extremely hard to wash off. It sticks to your skin in flakes, creating a pattern of red veins crawling over your hands. Fuck. I scrubbed as hard as I could under the rushing water of the sink, pumping more and more soap into my hand. It was under my fingernails. It was stuck in my palm prints. Shit, did I leave fingerprints at the scene? Would they be coming for me? With a hiss, I rubbed even harder at my skin, small flecks of blood turning the sink water red.

Suddenly, my door opened.

"I'm ready for my s'getties!" Negan boomed with a wide smile. My head whipped around, looking at him with wide eyes. His grin faded and he crossed the room in record time, grabbing my wrists and turning the sink off. "Is this fucking blood?" He snarled, bringing my hands up to my face. I clenched my jaw and dropped my eyes to my feet. "Jesus, who's is it? Answer me!"

"I-I heard someone screaming on the way home," I said quietly, eyes still downcast "I thought I would help..." His jaw went slack and he let go of my hands, running his fingers through his hair.

"Jesus fuck, you can't just go around killing people!"

"Why not?" I snapped, eyes meeting his "You do it all the time? What's the difference? Why can't I help people?"

"Because it...Because you just can't!" Negan growled, shaking his head.

"Why are you so special?" I hissed back, drying my hands off on a towel before tossing it at him "It's not like you can get a permit for fucking murder. Why do you do it, anyways? Is it some perverted thing? Do you get off on saving people from attackers?"

"Watch yourself." Negan warned, eyes darkening.

"Pfft, or what?" I laughed, tossing my head back "What are you gonna do, kill me? I'm not afraid of you, Negan." As soon as the words left my mouth, he charged me. His hand flew to my throat, squeezing my airway lightly. His hips pressed me against the counter. I let out a small gasp when he shoved his face next to mine.

"Oh, but doll, you really fucking should be." He spat, curling his lip "I could snap your neck right here, right now." He gave a small squeeze to emphasize his words. I let out a strangled moan. We both froze. "Are you turned on right now?" He muttered, furrowing his brow. I licked my lips and squirmed in his grip, pressing my thighs together slightly in an effort to alleviate the warm pressure growing in my belly.

"No," I lied, voice weak. A sinister grin curled over the bottom half of his face and he licked his tongue over his teeth.

"And I'm the perv, huh?" He sucked on my earlobe and peppered kisses down my jawline "Sweetheart, tell me, do you want me to fuck that pretty little pussy of yours? Do you want me to make you cum harder than you ever have?" I whimpered at his dirty mouth. "Use your words, doll, or I'll leave right fucking now."

"Y-Yes!" I breathed as Negan's lips sucked on the sweet spot right beneath my ear.

"Yes, what, princess?"

"Yes, I want you to fuck me, please!" I groaned, clawing at his shirt. He let out a short chuckle, muttering something about how needy I was, but I didn't care. Right now, the only thought running through my head was that I needed Negan. I needed all of him. And damn me if I wasn't going to get it.

We clawed at each other's clothes like rabid animals. Once we were completely bare, Negan moved his kisses down my body. His large, calloused hands kneaded my breasts, twisting my nipples between his thumbs. My arms flew around his neck and I dragged my fingernails up his back. He shivered against my touch and slid his hands further down my body. They settled firmly on my hips as he captured my lips in a fervent kiss.

"Fuck, sweetheart," he grunted, pulling back for air. I looked at him. His tawny eyes were now black, pupils far beyond dilated with lust. Both of our lips were swollen and red from the intensity of our kisses. Negan's chest inflated and deflated quickly as his eyes roamed over my body. "You're so damn perfect." I smiled sheepishly and pulled my bottom lip between my teeth, looking up at him through lidded eyes.

"You're not so bad yourself," I reached out my hand and used my pointer finger to draw a line from his collar bone down the center of his chest and through his navel, finally ending right over his pulsing cock. He sucked in a breath as my fingers closed around him. My thumb swept over the hot tip, gathering precum on the pad of my finger and rubbing it around.

"Shit," He hissed as I slowly pumped him "I'm not gonna fucking last if you keep doing that." He gently pried my hand away and took a step closer to me. I could feel his hardened length resting against the inside of my thigh. The thought of him being so close made a burst of heat rush down between my thighs. Negan took a long finger and ran it through my folds, collecting my wetness. I moaned as he teasingly dipped the first knuckle into me. He pulled back and let out a low whistle. "Damn, girl," he chuckled, raising his finger to my face "You're fucking dripping. Who's that for?" His slick-coated fingers glistened in the light of my apartment. I let out a deep groan as he slid them between his lips and sucked.

"You, Negan!" I whimpered, wrapping my legs around his waist "It's all for you." A wolfish grin spread over his features as he tugged me off him and pulled me down off the counter. He spun me around and pressed gently between my shoulder blades until my chest was flat against the cold surface.

"Then if you don't mind," Negan cooed, lining himself up with my entrance "I'm going to take what belongs to me." With that, he slowly pushed into me. I gasped at the stretch, balling my hands into fists as he continued to split me open.

"Fucking shit," he groaned once he bottomed out "you're tight as hell. I bet you've never had a dick as big as mine." He pulled out slightly and I let out a moan at the growing emptiness inside. The moan soon turned to a yelp when he brought down his hand against my ass. The smack was loud and he rubbed the red spot tenderly. "Have you?"

"N-No!" I gasped when he thrusted into me for the first time "Never. Fuck, you feel so good." Negan's thrusts sped up, his hips snapping against my ass in an obscene rhythm. Grunts and moans of pleasure slipped from both of our lips as he plowed unapologetically into me. I could feel every inch of him. He was hitting every spot, dragging against my walls in a sinfully perfect way.

"You're doing so good," He purred, kissing and biting my shoulder "So good for me. You're so perfect." I tossed my head back and he grabbed my chin, tilting my face towards him so he could give me another bruising kiss. I could only keep up for so long, though, and the white bliss of pleasure he was giving me soon became overwhelming. My jaw went slack and my head dropped against the cool tile of the counter in an attempt to ground myself in the moment. "I want you to cum, doll, cum around me. Wanna feel those walls squeeze me." His thrusts were starting to become sloppy and I could tell he was getting to his end. One of his fingers danced down my spine and found its way to my clit. He circled it with just enough pressure to get me to the edge that I was so willing to jump off. "Now." Negan growled. I obeyed, feeling the band in my lower abdomen snapping violently. We reached our releases simultaneously. My walls clenched around him, milking him of every drop. I screwed my eyes shut and screamed his name, holding in a large breath as the world around me spun. Negan eventually pulled himself out and collapsed on top of me. We both were breathing heavily, sweaty bodies entangled as well as we could over a counter. I swallowed, my throat dry from panting through my orgasm. When my eyes fluttered open, I could see Negan's thumb tracing circles over the love bites that were starting to darken on my shoulders.

"Are you going to kill me?" I rasped, running a hand through my wild hair "I guess I'm a bad person now." Negan chuckled, still out of breath.

"I think I'll make an exception," He mused, pressing a sweet kiss to the shell of my ear "I don't think I'm ready to let you go just yet."

#negan x reader #negan x y/n #negan smut #negan x you #negan smith #au!negan #the walking dead #twd smut #twd negan

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