#i would say morally grey but his morals are on the good side of things..... so i dont think he'd be morally grey bc hes just a good guy

[butchtwelfthdoctor]

the minisodes and Aziraphale's understanding of moral grey areas

ok so i was explaining the entire plot of s2 to a friends yesterday, and realised something about the minisodes that is so obvious in retrospect-

in a companion to owls, Aziraphale spends most of the time wondering about what is actually right or wrong and what god really wants and so on - of course, by the end he sees that you can do something 'bad' (like lying to thwart the will of god) and not be entirely a bad person for it - starting to see that moral greys exist, but Crowley has to really really encourage him to do it

in the resurrectionists, the first half he's on 'this is entirely bad', is presented with a grey situation by Crowley (& Dalrymple), but immediately goes straight to 'this is all good' - by the end, he sees that really it was neither (sort of) - but once again, crowley has to really prompt him into seeing the nuance

but, by the end of the 1941 minisode, he says 'well, maybe there is something to be said for shades of grey' - almost completely umprompted by Crowley. he doesn't need convincing, or Crowley to tell him that he can't do bad things cos he's an angel (which Crowley doesn't believe, surely, but he can convince Aziraphale into doing most things by telling him that), he just. accepts the moral grey of everything that just happened. (and presumably apologises for making Crowley shoot at him. or something. he does the dance at least)

this is showing the progression in Aziraphale's character - he goes from being fully convinced he'll become a demon for lying one (1) time to save the lives of children, to at least trying to see how something as initially 'completely bad' as bodysnatching can be an attempt to, in his words, 'alleviate human suffering' (good, even if he missed the point), to being able to say that he, an angel, can do things that aren't purely good. seemingly without any major anxiety over it either. and largely unprompted.

his character is not fully developed yet, and he's still pinging wildly between viewing everything as good/bad heaven/hell demons/angels, and moral greys, nuance, and 'our side'. but he is getting there. slowly.

[beetlejuicyy]

criston cole is such a female-experience coded character and it is exactly why he is hated so much hear me out

his whole character is built around the idea that rhaenyra seduced him, had taken his dignity and made him feel like her whore. his vow and his duty are close enough to the idea of women's purity and value. you were sullied, you have to marry the man that devalued you, otherwise you are spoiled and unworthy.

on top of that, his identity as a knight, as kingsguard means he is submissive. he is not seen having a lot of opinions or plans to how things are done, the big guys in the council decide and he has to obey to their orders.

on top of that, when he does act at last, it's portrayed in the form of scheming, behind the backs of people, and it's mostly attributed to his sentimental nature, to his inability to think straight, be logical because of his personal feelings. that's how women have been portrayed for centuries.

another thing that makes his character harder to grasp is the choice to have the same actor play the pre-timeskip and past-timeskip criston. 20 years have passed and yet people see him as the same person who refused to be rhaenyra's whore but now he is hypocritical because he is alicent's whore. 20 years have passed and, even if you can't see it on his face, he's bound to have changed too.

in his relationship with alicent he doesn't talk as much. he is obedient, she's the one in charge. she gets to say when and how things happen, he is just at her service.

his entire character is build up to revolve around rhenyra, like women's lives are supposed to revolve around men. if he refuses to acknowledge his status in his youth he is no longer allowed to later (after 20 years mind you) find some sort of comfort in another master. it's like saying "if you say you hate the system why take part in it"?

his pent up rage and hatred is evil, because what happened to him was behind closed doors where no one saw or heard of it. because if they knew of it he would lose everything, exactly the way women have often refrained from talking about their condition in fear of being villainized themselves. in the meantime, the one in power will keep their dignity and spotless reputation like rhaenyra is not even held accountable for having bastards pushed forward as heirs, not to mention the fling she had with criston.

this rant is in no way trying to portray criston cole as a saint or a good guy or trying to justify his behaviour. this is actually the problem with hotd, the effort to draw a line between the good guys and bad guys. have it be either balck or white. it's not, it can't be. you either have complex, morally grey characters with flaws and mistakes or you go watch marvel or something. even there villains are more humanized than in this petty effort of righteousness.

LE: thank you everyone who mentioned the aspect of criston being a man of colour from dorne and the power dynamic between a royal and a lower born who fought his way into the world! this rant was written in a rush and while i couldn't express the latter as eloquently as most of you in the tags/comments, i completely overlooked the former. i love looking through everyone's tags and comments and seeing your takes. as @jazzyclarinet pointed out in the comments, seeing criston's character in this light does not erase or diminish the injustice other women in the story experience.

on another note, i feel like part of the blame is on the way hbo marketed the season with the pressure to pick a side. however, i think what we've been lacking as a society in the post covid years is actual unbiased analysis of art. swallowing up content without any question and making said content a personality trait is harmful. as i said, i don't like criston as a character, but i can make these points about him simply because i watch the show critically and i don't blindly defend a character while trashing another.

[ozzgin]

The Mean Girl Bully Reader x Nerd Loser Yandere story sparked another red flag reader idea I had 😈

Imagine a Bratty Female Reader x Well Mannered Wealthy Male Yandere. Unlike our favorite monster whore gal, and two-faced bully, this new reader insert is super vocal about her distaste in just about everything. Hardly anything is up to her “standards.” She not only complains, but whines too! 🥳

Then her poor beau weirdly loves her despite her horrid personality. I don’t know how, I’ll leave that part of imagining up to you, but there’s my request 🥺

I just like morally grey or blatant antagonistic readers. A lot of times, it’s more fun if the reader is attractive this way to a yandere, than having stereotypical good traits, like being compassionate or respectful 😔

So please, a Bratty Female Reader x Well Mannered Wealthy Male Yandere?

-👘

I was wondering if I should just incorporate this into the Yandere CEO draft I have, but I had this sudden idea for a downright shameless relationship between a beloved, well-respected politician and a perverted, needy brat of a Darling. (I don't like politicians but alas, I needed a high-stakes public profession for this)

Yandere! Politician x Bratty! Reader

Mr. Politician is a true rarity in his field of work: well-mannered, articulate, and most importantly, genuine in his dedication. He works tirelessly for change and improvement, earning the adoration of the people. There's only one exception to his loyalty: no country ever comes before his Darling. And what a demanding Darling you are...

Content: female reader, older yandere, NSFW, some exhibitionism

Many would describe their interactions with Mr. Politician as follows: he's disciplined, confident and resourceful. A natural born leader, you can tell within seconds of meeting him that he is a man to rely on. He's spent many years in the game, and nothing can shake him out of his signature calmness. He keeps everything in pristine order, and nothing escapes his scrutiny.

There is, however, one quirk only few select people know about. A detail no one dares to discuss. It is common knowledge that Mr. Politician has a partner, yet the particularities of it are kept private. His beloved is a much younger girl, rotten to the core. It is unclear how this pairing came to be; the day Mr. Politician won his place in his prestigious office, he showed up with the mysterious feminine figure at his side.

What's certain and obvious to all witnesses is that his vocabulary quickly discards any meaning of refusal whenever he's dealing with you. It almost feels like the man worships you. He's never alluded to being religious, most likely because that role's been taken already. His eyes soften whenever directed at you, gleaming with raw adoration.

Splurging on expensive things is a given. Money has never been an issue for someone of his status. In fact, it's a handy and convenient tool he frequently uses to dampen the damage of your tantrums.

"Disgusting", you spit between your teeth, pushing the plate away and crossing your arms. The renowned chef of the Michelin star restaurant can only stare in horror before Mr. Politician intervenes with a chuckle. "Not feeling it today, huh?", he coos at you with loving strokes. "May I ask that you bring everything else from the menu?" he says in a sterner voice to the employee. "E-everything, Sir?" the waitstaff questions. "Well, naturally. I can't let my Darling starve."

"I'm bored. Let's leave now", you mention bluntly, standing in front of the heavily ornate table with a huff. "Are you sure, Darling? It's an important meeting for the country", Mr. Politician tries to plead. Around him, the other men sit baffled, observing the outrageous exchange. "Now!" you conclude louder. Before anyone can protest, your boyfriend stands up obediently and reaches out for your hand. "Then allow me to guide you, love."

A paradox. His earnest work is put to a halt if you require anything from him. Somehow, he has until now managed to juggle the two with little effort, and to his credit, there have been many instances requiring nerves of steel. Such as you paying him an unannounced visit to the office, and disliking the fact he was unavailable due to a meeting. So, you marched over to the window and promptly flashed your chest against the glass. Everyone else was focused on the opposing whiteboard; he was the only one who immediately noticed your arrival. "As you can see, the expected result is irresistible", he continued with a professional smile, tapping the graph with a marker.

Everyone knows Mr. Politician is fervently devoted to his principles. Take his last public speech, for example. Knuckles white from gripping the podium, he'd nearly choked during an eloquent -but passionate - conclusion. His face was red, his jaw tightened. He needed a moment to recollect himself, and the public waited with bated breaths, visibly emotional. Of course, they couldn't tell the outrageous truth: that you were shamelessly kneeling at his feet, pumping and teasing his erection until, at last, he let go all over your face.

"I wanted to see if you'd stumble on your words", you explain afterwards, wiping the sticky liquid off with a damp cloth. "That would've been unpleasant", he responds with a shiver. "It was live on national television."

He does not seem too bothered by the potential risk of being caught. Truly, his nonchalance knows no bounds when it comes to you. Or perhaps it is part of the charm. There's something quite depraved yet tempting about this perpetual contrast.

To return your daring favor, he gently places you onto his desk and spreads your legs, leaving trails of kisses along the inner surface of your thigh. A quick glance down confirms his suspicions: your bare bottom lays on top of confidential, rather important documents he dutifully signed hours ago. How thrilling of a feeling! He already smiles in anticipation, picturing himself as he hands over the folder to the oblivious party. He's not breaking any rules, now, is he? Nowhere in the book of etiquette does it state you mustn't fuck your beloved on top of official papers.

You gaze at the disheveled face underneath you. "One day I'll get you in trouble", you blurt out between whines. "Me? Oh, Darling. You know I always have everything under control." He lifts himself up and gives you a quick, desperate kiss. "Including you."

[specshroom]

hello hello, I stumbled across your writing and wanted to say how much I enjoyed “Blood In The Water” I was curious about how reader struck that deal with all the mer-creatures in the first place?! did they try to eat reader too? or did one/many have an attachment or attraction since reader grew up around that place? the whistling was soooo cool, like they were dogs trained to a command! does that mean they had struggles with communication at first? do the mer-peeps understand language or just body language? I���m full of questions 😂❤️ it was just so enthralling and love a good morally grey character! is reader struggling to make ends meet and that’s why they do this? or is it more of ‘it’s either me or them’ type scenario? OR reader is just like this is the easiest way to get money?! 👀 oml lemme stop here this is getting quite long— LOVE UR STUFF 😚

I'M SO GLAD IT INTERESTED YOU SO MUCH (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

I like to keep things up to interpretation cus I think it's more fun BUT I can answer a few of those.

- They definitely struggled at first lol. The merfolk can't speak human language and don't understand it. Humans can't speak mer-language either because it's mostly high pitched clicks and chitters. Reader figures out that the closest they can get to making sounds the merfolk understand is by whistling because it's loud and high pitched enough that they can hear it easily even through the water.

- They do share a lot of body language and mannerisms with humans (like kissing👀) so that made things easier.

- The merfolk do recognise Reader as a local and that made them more trustworthy. (Later on they marked the bottom of Readers boat so they know it's them🥺)

I wrote a little drabble to answer the "How did this happen?" question.

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷

You sigh as you row your way out of the canal and into the open waters.

Your new patron lounges in his seat on the opposite side of the gondola, staring up at the clear blue sky. You preferred doing business at night when it's quiet, few braved these waters at night. Alas dwindling funds force you to suffer the business of the day. There's just too much comotion in the daytime, too many tourists.

Its been like this since the first rich fool "discovered" that your relatively small and unimpressive lake town actually boasts some magnificent and horrific monsters in the depths of the decievingly calm waters surrounding it. Now flocks of fools come to "test their bravery" by crossing the dangerous waters.

Conservationists and locals convinced them that hunting down the monsters in the lake would lead to environmental catastrophe and the snobs decided that it would be a better investment as a tourist attraction.

"Don't you get bored of this?"

Your patron slices the silence in half. You blink out of your thoughts, releasing the iron grip you had on your oar.

"I could give you a different job."

The well dressed man's tone is almost convincingly sympathetic. You keep your gaze locked onto the familiar waters ahead of you...until you hear the distinct sound of coins being jostled against one another. That changes things.

You hesitantly turn to where the stranger sits comfortably, grinning with pride.

"I thought so, it's always the same with you locals."

The tourist opens his money bag and takes out one gold coin. At least enough for a small meal.

"What would you do for it?"

He plays with the coin in his fingers before tossing it out of the boat and into the water. The carelessness with which he tosses his gold makes your blood run hot. Through the thick permanent fog that hangs over the waters, you can just barely see the gold coin as it sinks into the abyss and your stomach growls pitifully.

He holds out the pouch over the side of the boat, dangling it over the water.

"Would you dive for it?"

The sick thing is that you actually consider it. You stare intensely at the stupid pouch that could keep you going for a good while.

The man suddenly drops the pouch and you jump forward to catch it but he yanks it back up by the drawstring before it can touch the surface of the water. He laughs at his cruel humour and your blood reaches it's boiling point.

You don't know why it was that patron in particular that made you snap or why that bad day in particular made you finally put the knife skills your father taught you to good use.

But before either of you know it his laughter turns to bloody choking. You scramble off of him, panic clear on your face. He reaches for the knife in his neck but it's useless. His body sags over the edge of the boat and his blood mixes with the water. You watch with wide eyes as he takes his last struggled breaths.

It's silent for a while before you take your eyes off of the man Infront of you to look down at your red stained hands. You look around as if anyone could've seen your crime through the fog anyway.

After a while of just staring blankly at the still body Infront of you, you try to compose yourself and lift him off the side of the gondola. You manage to tip him over and watch his body sink down.

You stare at the corpse fading deeper into the water. Just as you ready yourself to leave the scene something rocks the gondola slightly and you fall on your ass, gripping the side of the boat.

You feel a breath on the side of your cheek and jump when you look over and see two big pitch black eyes staring at you from over the side of the boat. Your skin turns to ice, unable to move.

You hear chittering from the other side and jump again as another one peers over the furnished wood of the boat. The first one takes your frozen hand in their cold clawed hand and inspects the drying blood covering it.

They stick their tongue out and slowly lick all the way up your shaking hand, licking away at the blood as if cleansing you of your sin. The other makes a clicking sound that sounds oddly like laughter.

Once all the blood on your hand has been licked off, the creature looks up at you for a moment before disappearing below the surface once more. The other one doesn't look like it wants to go but a few clicks from the water convince it to slowly lower back into the depths.

You lean over the side of the gondola trying to get a better look at the creature before it leaves. You deflate when you don't see so much as a ripple in the water.

Suddenly, just as you were sure they weren't coming back, the same one from moments ago bursts from the water. In a second it cups your cheek and kisses you. It's hard and deep, more passionate than you'd ever had before. The creature releases you and this time before it leaves it gives a little wave with its strange webbed hand. You wave back, a little dazed, as the monster dives back into the water.

You have to sit there for a good while staring at the pouch of coin the tourist left behind and then back to the murky waters, touching your lips while contemplating what the hell just happened.

[roseworth]

what direction do you think they should have gone in with jason? as in where should he be now in terms of people and what he's doing

i think winick had it exactly right green arrow #69-72 and batman & robin #23-25. he was a villain but he had a Method and a Purpose. and usually that purpose was just to fuck with batman. i loooove it when hes a villain and hes very clearly doing bad things, but hes not just indiscriminately killing people. hes doing it for a reason, hes still doing the same thing he was doing in utrh by controlling the drug trade, and even when hes doing the right thing hes being an asshole about it

i especially love the ga issues because jason doesnt even talk to batman but bruce KNOWS what hes doing and he knows its about him. i love the bruce & jason post-utrh dynamic where they've both pretty much said everything they have to say and neither of them is changing their position, so now jason is just starting fires to get attention. "ok bruce you dont want to talk to me? thats fine. ill just follow you to star city then psychologically torture a teenage girl then blow her up in front of you" icon! i forgive him! i think its so fun when red hood is a member of batman's rogues gallery and bruce feels bad every time he fights him but also he kinda cant stand him since he knows jason is only doing it to mess with him and its working. but also jason is a Greater Good person so he DOES end up working with the bats sometimes just because theyre also working on the good side

anyways the ideal bruce & jason dynamic to me is "the love was there and it made everything so much worse" because jason is doing everything for bruces attention because he loves him and wants him to care about him but hes not willing to budge on his own morals and neither is bruce. and bruce loves jason so he doesnt want to arrest him or put him in danger but also hes killing people and doing terrible things and bruce is batman so he feels obligated to. yk. stop him. and as much as they both love each other they do not like each other at all

in my mind jason doesnt really care about any of the other bats besides dick & babs just because he knew them before he died so hes willing to hang out with them but they Do Not want to see him. like in brothers in blood when jason goes hiiiii dick <3 lets hang out <3333 and dick is constantly suppressing the cain instinct. he never really talks to babs pre52 i think theyre interactions would be very similar in that jason goes hey babs ur so cool <33 and she says jason get the fuck away from me or im activating the bomb in your helmet <3

but also with steph even though he didnt know her pre-death,, i think he would like her. i can imagine him doing something very similar to what he did with mia, basically finding her and going "quit your vigilante career. join my emo band" but i think she would end up being a lot more receptive to it than mia was ! like im thinking batgirl 2009 era steph so she would not be on board with the idea of joining him since things were going well with team batgirl, but i also think that any interaction between the two of them in that era would go well and end with them getting along :)

as for everyone else. i dont think he would care about any of them. theyre just kinda collateral damage in his war with bruce. like he gets involved with them sometimes just because of their proximity to bruce, or like i said earlier that he works with them sometimes because he cares about the greater good so is willing to help them when necessary. also honorable mention to aoifa's headcanon that jason doesnt actually know tims name because he just does not care. thats canon to me

so yeah in conclusion: he should be a morally grey villain that does what he does either for the greater good, or to fuck with batman, or both. and he has complicated relationships with all of them bc he likes bruce dick and babs but also kinda hates all of them and they like but also hate him too. and the rest of them he doesn't really give a shit about

[truetealtears]

‘Why is Gale depicted as the default leader in the animated short?’

Because he cooks

When you’re a rag tag group of people scraping by in the wilderness; you do not fuck with the guy who feeds you (minus Astarion who’s fucking around and finding out who he can/cannot feed on lmao)

Yeah you can tease him and make fun of him and you don’t have to like him (all of which we can see different characters doing) but you don’t make an enemy of the camp cook, not without very good reason (especially if he cooks well - Which he seems to, there’s no complaints. His dialogue tells you it’s clearly a hobby of his, so he knows what he’s doing, plus everyone saying he’s like fantasy Greek - I hear you and you’re right).

And we can see that because no one has major beef w Gale (that I’m aware of lol), some find him at bit insufferable but no one actively hates him (at least initially, idk what some of you are doing in ur playthroughs)

Not to say they’d immediately appoint him as Mr Leader Man after one meal but they’d definitely be more willing to listen to his ideas and consider them. Plus they know Gale is smart (book smart at least), they can all agree that he isn’t stupid and his plans are likely to be plausible/reasonable (for the group ofc, we all know what this man will do to himself if you let him). He gets bonus points for being quite sociable and generally approving of doing The Right Thing, while also having enough of a moral grey area to hear the others out on their more… eccentric ideas (see his dialogue about making use of the Illithid powers and stuff)

So yeah I think all of this would culminate in him being the default leader when there’s no player influence (aka when tav doesn’t exist and ur not controlling someone else)

Funny side note: the initial data larian released kinda backs me up in a roundabout way; with Gale being the most commonly chosen origin lol

To me this means that after Tav, Gale is the most likely candidate for leader. So imagine all the drama that plays out when he’s like ‘hey guys it’s been nice and I’m glad I could help you all with some of ur problems but my ex my goddess is telling me to go kill myself so’

Even when you’re playing as Tav everyone thinks it’s stupid for Gale to go kill himself because Mystra said so. They’re all like ‘that isn’t fair/what a waste’ (further evidence that no one truly hates him thanks). So now when he’s their leader I imagine they’re like ‘NOOOOOO’

[kalinara]

One thing I really love about the reveal that Rupert seduced Rebecca when he was married to someone else is how it adds another layer of perspective to the whole matter.

I was going to say that it adds a shade of grey to the whole thing, but I don’t really agree with that.  No matter what happened between Rupert and Rebecca and his prior wife, it doesn’t justify how Rupert treated Rebecca during and after their marriage.  

Even if Rebecca was the absolute worst to the former Ms. Mannion, she didn’t deserve to be abused.  And of course, the same is true for Bex.

This past episode showed us a new side of the Rupert/Bex relationship.  Before now, we’d only ever seen Bex as the adoring wife and enthusiastic mother, a very passive audience for Rupert’s antics.  Now, for the first time, we saw a hint of bite.  In the same episode where Rupert is proving himself the same cad that he’s always been.

I don’t think Bex’s snark means that she’s any safer than Rebecca was, to be honest.  If anything, I suspect she’s in an even worse position.  Rupert told Rebecca, and us, in that bar in Diamond Dogs, that he made sure she wouldn’t be able to go after him like Rebecca did.  It’s not clear what her socio-economic background was, but given that she had student loans, she likely didn’t come from money the way Rebecca clearly did.

AND she has his child.  That means they’re tied together for a long time.  To misquote Ted, they’ll be sharing grandchildren.

Rebecca would understand Bex better than anyone else, I think.  And even granted that Bex hadn’t shown herself in the best light in the past, I think Rebecca gets how good Rupert is at manipulating people into doing things that would normally be against their moral code.  (He did, after all, convince a girl who’d never forgiven her father for his affair, to help him cheat on his wife.)  

For that matter, I think she’d understand Nate too.  How long had Rupert been whispering to Nate before his very epic split with Richmond?  I’m not saying that Rupert told him what to do, but it wouldn’t surprise me if he kind of steered him in that direction.  “Isn’t it unfair that he gets all the credit, while you do all the work...?”  “Isn’t it a shame that no one sees him for what he really is?”

This is all long disjointed babbling that boils down to the idea that I want to see Rebecca, Nate and Bex all team up, get free of Rupert, and live happily ever after while he languishes as the pathetic little man he really is.

[reblogandlikes]

No allies UTM, Rhysand? None? (Ramble)

I genuinely want to know, but seriously, Rhysand didn't make one alliance with the other HL's or anyone during the years of Amarantha? Not a single side plan that would have me think, "Yeah, he's done fucked up things for her, but he's also been actively working against her the entire time with proven plans, proven things gone wrong and right. Proven anything but weak his say."

Not to mention, please don't make someone the most powerful mind reader if they won't capitalise on that power. A very useful power, yet criminally under utilised in this series. There would have been ample time to create an alliance, and for his own safety/self preservation, occasionally ensure they would not spill the plan or fuck them up before they ever could. That would then play into his grey morality for the betterment of everyone further down the line even if it means cutting people loose. Hard, but necessary. I mean, unless that forever unknown daemati made it hard. Though this unknown other figure couldn't have been that good when the other HL's rebelled. Yeah, they failed and died doing it, but they still made a plan and tried. Rhysand hasn't don't anything off the sort.

But, he must of had a hint of an alliance because why would he and Helion be so buddy buddy in the later books? He saw all that Rhysand had done during those years. Saw his "Mask" presented as "him" and yet Helion no qualms or think to be standoffish afterwards? Like, "Damn, you went a little hard core, don't you think?"

Unless his friendship curated with Helion was just a way for sjm to try to absolve Rhysand from receiving too much heat and generalised, consistent hate from everyone outside of Velaris. "See, look. This fun, cool HL guy loves Rhysand! He's also POC, Bi, sex positive, with progressive ideals. His judgment can't be wrong." It felt like sjm was using Helion as a tool to enforce Rhysand’s greatness than having built a genuine friendship we could read; so instead rely heavily on Helions traits when knowing Helion embodies a lot of the characteristics her target audience wants to see more in books, yet for me, made my guy Helion feel like a token. I don't like it. (Side note, I'm still pissed they stole from my sweetheart Tarquin when he was so open. They still have not apologised, either!)

Anywho, where was this so-called friendship UTM? A union between the solar courts, at least. Something!

50 years. He should have come with some receipts of his efforts. Anything on Hybern since he was already suspected of them making a move in the later books. To me, these books are the best example of just making shit up as you go along. SJM just writes, and we simply consume. Nah, mate. You can catch these critiques.

Crazy, you'd think acotar was her first series, not her second.

[sadistic-kiss]

Use Me (Kinktober Fic)

Succubus Reader x Various JJK Men

*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.Chapter Two.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*

You crawled behind Choso, traversing over carpet and tile floor. Luckily he naturally walked slowly, some of the others walked quicker on purpose.

Now that you were inside the house you could hear the music much clearer. They were playing Halloween music and even had decorations up to match. Were they about to throw a party? When you entered the kitchen and saw the three giant kegs you knew that's what was about to happen.

That can't be good. You hope they don't kick you out, you were starving.

"Lay down." Choso commanded.

You looked over to see he was pointing at a giant pink fluffy bed sitting on the side of the kitchen. That was new.

"When-"

"Ah ah- I didn't say speak I said lay down." He pointed again with a bit more force.

You crawled into the bed and got comfortable, lying down as you looked up at Choso.

He cracked the smallest grin, "Good girl." He praised petting your head as you purred excitedly. He then stood up and went to the fridge, "Sukuna got it for you. Thought you might like it." He chuckled while searching for something to eat.

Even though he was talking to you, you couldn't talk back, not unless they told you to speak or asked you a question.

Honestly, it wasn't always like this. When you first met them they had released you from your slumber so you could help them find a curse. Between helping them or sleeping for eternity you chose your best option. They had aided you and you helped them. Killing whatever curse spirit they needed.

Everything was perfect.

It wasn't until you accidentally killed their best friend, then they started treating you differently. You told the man that he wouldn't survive and he wanted to sleep with you anyway! Who were you to turn down a meal!?

Food was food.

Apparently, you chose wrong and you shouldn't have done it. Human morals were so weird but you were learning bit by bit. They didn't like it when you hurt their people...only other people...bad people...the people they tell you to hurt....It was a work in progress.

Your body burned, bringing you back to why you were here in the first place. You released a light whimper staring at Choso as he scratched his abs under his long-sleeved grey shirt. Your mouth watered wanting to lick upon his stomach among other things.

"Quiet pet." He spoke without looking your way. He finally found something, pulling out a few things.

You pout, observing him as he moves around the kitchen cooking. About five minutes in you heard someone coming. You sat up excitedly hoping whoever it was would bless you.

Gojo came rushing in dressed like a Roman king with a leaf-like crown. He was talking on the phone.

"We are gonna need to get a new battery for the hockey table-oh what the fuck!" Gojo shouted.

"What?" Getou's voice boomed loudly on the phone.

"What the hell is she doing here!?" Gojo hollered while looking at Choso for an explanation.

"Why are you acting like I summoned her or some shit." Choso questioned with a twitch of his brow.

"Awww is it our kitten?" Getou cooed.

"No aww! She's going to kill everyone!"

"Did you want me to leave her outside?" Choso questioned.

Gojo glared at you as you gave him your puppy eyes and a little poke of your lip.

'Please don't kick me out please don't kick me out.'

"I swear to Tengen if one person dies tonight you will never come back, got it?"

You nodded quickly as Gojo sighed looking at Choso. "Where is Aiko?"

"She sent them away."

"What why?"

"She said they would have died if they touched her because of how minuscule their curse energy was."

Gojo smacked his forehead with a little growl, "Fuck I forgot about that."

"Forgot about what?" Sukuna popped in catching the end of the conversation. He was dressed up as a Viking, suns out guns out. Two knives clipped to his hips. Knowing him they were most definitely real. You wouldn't be surprised if the fur he wore was also real and something he hunted himself.

"Our problem pet." Gojo pointed to you.

Sukuna's face lit up as he saw you, his lips pulling up into a wide grin, "Aye~ look who it is, my little slut." You chirped at him as he got down, he nudged you so you could roll on your back.

When you did he chuckled while rubbing your stomach. You were so touched starved you moaned while looking up at him pitifully. You didn't care how degrading this was, as long as you allowed Sukuna to do what he wanted he was quick to give you a reward. He was sadistically twisted and just as needy. He also had a shit ton of curse energy to spare.

"You like the bed I got you?" He grinned wickedly while inching toward the lower part of your belly.

You nodded, leaning into his other hand as it cupped your cheek.

"Poor thing, must be so hungry." He clicked his tongue.

You blinked your eyes quickly, whimpering some more. 'Yes so hungry! Feed me!' you wanted to scream.

"I gotcha kitten." He got up going into the kitchen cabinet.

"Oi!" Gojo threw up his arms, "Are we not gonna talk about our problem?"

"What's the problem?" Sukuna questioned getting out two pink bowls with diamonds on them.

Oh fucking hell.

"We are throwing a party and if someone touches our pet then it's lights out!"

Choso finished cooking, plating his food, "Why not keep her in one of our rooms." He slid onto the barstool saying a quick prayer before digging in.

"No way." Sukuna growled, "I'll fucking watch her."

Gojo scoffed, "You just want to parade her around on your dick."

"Don't act like you won't do it too."

"Maybe, but if she kills too many people the elders are going to get involved and they're already up our asses as it is."

"Maybe we can let only those with a decent amount of curse energy in." Getou suggested.

"Hm~ Enough to survive at least a little bump from our pet."

"Oooor~ She can do what she did with Aika." Choso spoke while chewing.

"Fine fine!" Gojo looked toward you, "Anyone that you might accidentally kill send them away, can you do that?"

You were caught by surprise when the conversation shifted to you. From their back and forth, you realized they wanted you to be here just as much as you wanted to be here.

"Yeah... I can do that... but it does take some of my energy to do so..." you spoke while cocking your head to the side sheepishly. "...and I am quite...depleted..."

"What do you think I got these for?" Sukuna questioned bringing you the two bowls. Sukuna filled one of the bowls with water and the other with a few scoops of peanuts.

This again… it was their little joke that they came up with after Getou asked if you wanted his nuts and you agreed eagerly only to be disappointed when he gave you a handful of peanuts. You don't even need to eat or drink like a human does. All you needed was their attention and affection, but they knew that all too well. They liked you begging and pleading. They liked you desperate. It was all part of their sadistic ways. Toying with you and searching for your limits.

Sukuna tapped your bowl with a black nail, "Come on pet, go ahead and eat."

You sighed looking into the bowls. You were starting to question if you had any limits or if you were just that far gone.

*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.Chapter Three.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*

Me to me: yes just some light pet play, mainly the leash and collar.

Sukuna: and I took that personally

[jensettermandu]

-𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡𝙨 𝙜𝙤 𝙩𝙤 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙣, 𝙗𝙖𝙙 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡𝙨 𝙜𝙤 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚-

-𝙞𝙣𝙫𝙞𝙩𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙞𝙣 𝙘𝙞𝙩𝙮-

1.1

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𝘨!𝘱 𝘫𝘦𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘦 𝘹 𝘧𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦��

content warning; MDNI, morally grey characters, toxic relation/situationships, domestic abuse, violence, substance use/abuse, mentions of weight/toxic beauty standards, dubcon, a lot of smut (spitting, spanking, bondage, choking, rough sex, etc. appears), age gap (legal), mentions of sensitive topics, not made for glorification of toxic relationships.

chapter wc: 12k+

Y/n opened the door to her apartment as the knocking wasn't stopping and groaned at the person on the other side.

"Seriously?" She annoyedly questioned Jennie and blocked the way when she tried to step inside. The girl pursed her lips, she stood in front of Y/n dressed in grey sweats and a grey sweatshirt, both soaked in water as the rain was pouring outside the whole day. In her hold were still her car keys and phone as her chest somewhat heaved–she probably ran up the stairs like she always did. 

It was hard to believe that this was Jennie Kim.

"You said it yourself that you're home alone." She reasoned, sniffling as some of her wet hair stuck to her forehead. The younger girl heaved a sigh at that.

"Yeah, but I didn't say come over, Jen, there's a huge difference– I'm busy studying." She frowned at the vixen's words and stuffed her things into the pockets of her sweats. Her eyes trailed her body, the girl's dark chocolate brown hair up in a messy bun, hair strands loosely falling over her face, it was hard to not look at the piercings protruding through the baby tee as she didn't have a bra on and a pair of simple grey sweats.

"Okay...So, I'm just supposed to drive back now?" Jennie questioned as she had driven for a good 30 minutes from her place just to get to the girl who said that she was alone and studying when she texted her. Jennie had been bored the whole day and Y/n was busy studying. She never wasted an opportunity when the girl in front of her could squeeze her into her schedule which was filled with mostly studying and a part-time job.

"Yeah." The taller girl confirmed and pushed the door to close it and Jennie was used to the mean demeanour of the girl. She stopped the door and forced it open–she was much stronger and the force made Y/n take a step back while Jennie invited herself in. "That's an hour wasted driving here and then back for nothing." Jennie decided herself for the both of them, ignoring what Y/n wanted because they always did what the younger girl wanted.

"Jennie, that's seriously not my problem. Now get your ass out of my apartment." The older girl only locked the door and kicked her shoes off as she stepped into the single-bedroom apartment. "No, you can study, but I am staying 'cause I've been bored the whole day and you haven't been alone for ages." Y/n watched as the girl walked past her, making herself comfortable in the younger girl's apartment the way she always did. 

She sighed and walked away from the door where she had stood and Jennie looked over her shoulder at Y/n's light footsteps, watching the girl who walked into the bedroom.

She crouched down and picked up the Russian blue cat named Vinci who scurried over to her from the couch. His purring was loud as he always snuggled with Y/n and finally, he started to like Jennie too even if Y/n had insisted he never would since he has only ever liked her. His wet and cold nose brushed against her warm neck as his claws dug into her sweatshirt and she walked towards the bedroom through the small apartment that was dimly lit. The second she stepped through the door she would be greeted by the living room and open kitchen. It was small, but it wasn't weird considering Y/n was still studying full-time.

She walked in through the open door and the bedroom consisted of a king-size bed with a grey backboard, the covers white and not made but rather left the way they were when the girl woke up in the morning. Beside the bed against the wall stood the white vanity table that was used as a desk too where Y/n sat. On the other side of the bed was the door to what was a small closet although beside it stood a clothing rack with the girl's clothes hung up as the closet wasn't enough. The fairy lights stretched above the headboard and Jennie was quite sure that they no longer worked, but Y/n would never do anything about it. Aside from that, there was a shelf by the door filled with vinyl records and a vinyl player and that was it, together with the window close to the vanity table where rain was harshly hitting the glass.

"What're you studying?" Jennie questioned, wanting to make some sort of conversation with the girl who usually cut the talking short because that wasn't what they had been meeting for the past four months. Y/n glanced away from her laptop and in the mirror, her eyes catching the brunette who held Vinci against her hip like a kid–the cat cuddling into her.

"The same thing I always have to study, economics, I haven't changed courses."

"I could help." Jennie offered as she specialised in anything connected with the subject. Y/n knew that, but she would never ask the girl for that kind of help.

"I need you to realise that I truly will never want you as a study buddy or anything like that. I already told you that I don't even want you here tonight." They held eye contact for a second more before Y/n looked back at her laptop.

"The mean girl facade won't chase me away, it doesn't bother me, Y/n." Jennie let her know as she knew that the girl was a cold-hearted bitch for a reason, but it truly didn't bother Jennie. For the most part at least. She only hummed at that, not sparing Jennie any more of her attention.

She let the cat down and watched him run out of the room, hearing in the distance as he climbed in his cat tree and Jennie closed the door before stepping further into the bedroom that smelled sweet and of white florals. "How long are you staying alone for?" She asked and walked over to the girl, getting behind the chair Y/n was in. She stood behind the girl, her hand coming over to the exposed skin as she traced her fingers over it. "Till Monday." She simply answered, trying to ignore the slightly cold hand that ran over to the front, fingers sneaking under her shirt and tracing along her collarbones. It was Thursday which left the girl with a weekend to do whatever she wanted to do.

"I'd never let you stay the weekend alone or alone in general." Y/n never read too much into Jennie's words, it was just some type of turn-on for the woman. "I'd never take my eyes off of you, let you text someone who isn't your friend or let you go out with someone I don't know too." Y/n knew that Jennie was in reality just a toxic piece of shit that tried to come off as this perfect type of partner by using words that were supposed to be protective, but with a deeper meaning never would be. It wasn't like it mattered to her since she wasn't with the girl.

"I like my weekends spent alone or with friends." The girl mumbled, swallowing as Jennie ran her hand back up over her neck.

"I know that you enjoy going out, but it wouldn't happen without me there to make sure you're safe and fine." The vixen rolled her eyes and the fingers came up to her jaw. Jennie gripped it and made Y/n look up, holding onto the backrest of the chair with her other hand, making Y/n look her in the eye.

"Asher does a terrible job at keeping you his."

"Maybe 'cause he doesn't own me," Y/n replied, giving the girl that made her sound like she was a thing to own and take care of a forced smile.

"But you are labelled the same way he is."

Well, Y/n knew that it wasn't right, that cheating wasn't excusable, but here she was, going behind her long-term boyfriend's back for the past four months. Her excuse was the good and more of her type of sex that came with Jennie, but that's all it was, sex. She tried to make it fair and excusable in her head even if she knew that it wasn't. Jennie was good and satisfying sex while Asher was someone who truly treated her right and trusted her because they loved each other. They had been together for four years now in the end and lived together as they continued to study at the same university where they met at 18 and he 19.

It was also where she met Jennie although the girl didn't study there.

[Four months ago]

Y/n continued to watch the 29-year-old woman at the front who had been holding a speech for the class for the past hour about stockbroking and entrepreneurship. "You don't think she's glancing this way quite a lot?" Y/n looked at her friend Lisa who sat beside her as they sat in the middle row, her cheek resting against her fist as it was a Saturday and the hungover was still keeping her dizzy.

They usually didn't have anything on Saturdays, but Lisa had been kind enough (Not really) and signed herself and Y/n up for this lecture from a person who became a millionaire at 20, a billionaire at 25 and had dropped out of university and become an entrepreneur before starting her own stockbroker company. Y/n had lost track, but she had no clue how this was supposed to help as it felt like someone would be stupid enough to drop out and try to achieve the same thing only to fail miserably.

"Called Parkinson, her head is twitching our way against her will the way she's fighting it," Y/n commented and both she and Lisa tried to keep their giggles quiet. She had realised that Jennie Kim had been glancing their way quite a lot, but it looked like she tried not to. Lisa shoved the girl who made her giggle louder than intended as everything was much funnier when they weren't allowed to be loud and had been sitting bored and hungover for a good hour.

"Y/l/n and Manoban." The voice was stern from Professor Kalinski and the two nudged each other with their knees under the table. Seemingly it got louder than intended in a classroom where only one person had been speaking and everyone else had sat quietly or talked with hushed tones or only talked to ask questions. As Kalinski said it took a while to get the woman to come and hold this lecture because she was extremely busy.

"Sorry, we're really sorry." Lisa apologised and Y/n held back the chuckle at how forced that was and got nudged once again, making Y/n do it right back. Her eyes landed on the brunette who was dressed in simple loose dark blue jeans and a plain white shirt with sunglasses resting at the top of her head. If she hadn't known or heard about Jennie Kim before she would have assumed the woman had gotten lost along the way and wasn't some billionaire who walked around with a manager and bodyguards. Despite the designer, she dressed simply.

"Sorry doesn't excuse this disrespectful behaviour." Kalinski pressed and Y/n inhaled before deeply exhaling as she leaned back and rolled her eyes. It felt unnecessary for Professor Kalinski to drag it out even more, that was even more disrespectful in her opinion as he was taking the woman's time.

"No, it's fine." Lisa nudged Y/n when Jennie spoke up and the girl raised her eyebrows at the woman at the front.

"She says it's fine." Y/n pointed out and looked at her professor, but instead of him speaking up about the matter, Jennie continued.

"It's fine because maybe you two have something to add or point out about the lecture I've held for you today." The two got offered a smile and Lisa glanced at Y/n, wondering if Y/n would say anything while also hoping she wouldn't because the vixen rarely held back.

"Not really, we just—" Lisa got cut off by Y/n who sat up straight, her glossy and plump lips parting as heads turned when she spoke. They usually did when it came to the girl who had become known as unattainable because of being hard to get close to and also being taken. Her exotic beauty made her stand out and not fit in at a college but a runway.

"I do have some points to make about this whole lecture." Jennie nodded at that as she leaned against the Professor's desk and took the glasses off from her head. She pointed at Y/n with them and gave a nod of affirmation. "Go ahead then, I am always open to criticism and feedback." She gave her averment with her eyes on no one else but the girl whose eyes were alluring from across a room, leaking with seduction that had the older woman stunned.

"I think that having Miss Kim hold a lecture was genuinely a terrible idea." Y/n started as she saw no point in the woman coming and telling the class about her life, and then lecturing them a bit about entrepreneurship and stockbroking. Jennie hummed, nodding along to what the girl said, listening to every word she said with her eyes not leaving the girl for even a second. They were drilling into her but not in an angry way, they just stared.

"Why is that?" The woman at the front asked and Y/n sucked air through her teeth.

"I believe it might give many the wrong impression that anyone can drop out and become a billionaire."

"Anyone can." Jennie prompted and Y/n shook her head as she had read about it all before and what Jennie had been talking about wasn't anything new to her. The only thing new to her was the little life story she told about dropping out, how she started and where she was now. Things Y/n would never have any use of.

"Yes, anyone can drop out and try, but not everyone will succeed and what they risk is dropping a sustainable future for something that only approximately 0.035% of the whole world is. The odds are against most people in this room even if they were to become at least millionaires which is like 1.1% of the world despite the numbers of millionaires are growing."

"What would you do differently then?" Jennie asked as each point was valid and the younger girl had a sharp tongue for sure. It would irritate Jennie, but she was too blinded by everything else to be hurt and instead, it only enhanced the vixen's beauty.

"I wouldn't be selling unattainable dreams to students who are desperate for money and willing to try most things— most people in this room lack common sense." Some murmurs followed the words that were directed towards the whole class and it wasn't the first time the vixen had done something to upset a classroom. Jennie smiled at that and cut Kalinski off who was just about to speak up, probably to give Y/n yet another warning for her attitude.

"Would you mind talking with me after this lecture? I believe we could exchange some words that could benefit us both."

"Depends, I'm on a tight schedule Miss."

"Five minutes?"

"Fine." With that Jennie went right back to where she had been stopped when the two giggling girls distracted the whole class.

"What the fuck are you two going to talk about?" Lisa asked in a hushed tone as she had no clue what the two could contribute to each other. She knew that Y/n would probably take it seriously or continue ridiculing the woman just because she could. "Don't know, I'm just hungover and tired." Y/n groaned and rested her elbows against the table before burning her face in her palms.

It wasn't long until the lecture was over and Y/n had gathered her stuff together with Lisa. The professor and Jennie were talking with each other at the front and it had slipped the girl's mind that the woman wanted to talk to her until Lisa spoke up while they were walking down the stairs to get to the door.

"You agreed to talk with her, so do it," Lisa said and pushed the girl in the other direction before walking herself towards the door. Y/n heaved a sigh that seemed to catch the two older adults' attention. Professor Kalinski glanced at Y/n before he looked back at Jennie, the two shook hands and bid goodbye before the man grabbed his things and left together with the three people who had been with Jennie. They closed the door and left the two alone.

"You seem like a sharp-witted person..." Jennie trailed off and looked at the girl as she was fishing for a name she did not know. This time standing face to face with the girl who looked like a copy of Irina Shayk, but with grey-blueish eyes, her scent was making Jennie lose even more of the track she tried to stay on, but the more she tried to keep an eye contact with the siren eyes the harder it was becoming. 

"It's Y/n. I don't know if I can say the same about someone who lectures students about dropping out and shooting at stars in broad daylight." Y/n wholeheartedly said as she still hadn't changed her mind about how stupid this whole thing was aside from the 30 minutes Jennie had been speaking about stockbroking. "Plus to be able to summarise your life story in an hour seems pretty sad and not as story-rich as you try to come off as. Not all rich people need to have a sob story behind their success. You could have just said that you struggled at the start, but had a support system which were rich parents." The girl drilled on in a tone that let Jennie know that she wasn't enthusiastic about this at all because of how monotone it was and low, holding a rasp to it compared to the tone she used earlier.

"That's kind of harsh." Jennie pointed out. She hadn't had anyone stomp her this way before and she couldn't determine how she felt about it, Y/n shrugged.

"I hear that they call reality quite harsh." She gave her a smile that was also as forced as the other ones before.

"That they do, but I think your words are refreshing since not many people are this honest with me." It was a change and reality check even if she didn't necessarily like them, but this one came in handy for the future.

"Well–" Y/n started and ignored the lingering gaze on her body as it wasn't the first time. Jennie looked over the washed-out olive green denim skirt the girl had with a tight spaghetti strap top in a similar colour with a velvety material midriff zip-up that was a darker grey. The pair of white shin-high boots made her taller as she was already taller than the older girl by probably four inches. "Have you considered the thought that if someone is leeching off of you and your money they might sugarcoat everything for you?" She finished and Jennie looked up after trying to finalise in her head if the girl had her nipples pierced or not. She did and Jennie shifted in her spot as her hands found their way into the pockets of her jeans.

"I have been told that it might happen." Y/n nodded at that and gave Jennie a look that stated that she was quite done with their five-minute talk even if it hadn't been five minutes yet. "Wait–" Jennie stopped the girl who was about to turn around and leave and Y/n stalled as she looked at the woman with a hum.

"Would you want to meet up and continue this conversation but go into more depth on a day when you aren't busy?" She questioned and looked at Y/n with hopeful eyes. Y/n contemplated for a few seconds as she didn't know Jennie more than from what she'd heard and what the woman had told about herself. She had a boyfriend too and wasn't sure how he would feel about it, but at the same time it was just a meeting and Y/n never expected or assumed these things.

"I'm not really into fancy restaurants and wine." Y/n declined as she could tell that Jennie would want to meet over some fancy dinner which wasn't her cup of tea at all. The latter scratched her nape and hummed. "Yacht party next Friday?" Jennie offered.

"Motion sickness." Y/n declined, making it hard for Jennie who let out a gruffly hum in thought at how impossible it felt to get to talk to the girl. It felt like roles had been switched and that the vixen was the busy billionaire although she knew that she was just as busy with studying as she was with work.

"Club opening on Saturday, invite-only, we can enter from the back to avoid any cameras." Something was telling the girl that if both her Friday and Saturday were booked by parties, the girl wasn't just some fancy CEO but lived a life filled with parties that Y/n could not afford or experience since she didn't have the same status.

"I guess." Jennie nodded at that with a small smile. "Do I get your number then?"

"Sure." Y/n was handed the phone and she quickly typed in her number before she handed the phone back and the door to the classroom opened. The two looked at the entrance where a tall and lean guy peeked inside, brown curls, dressed in a pair of washed-out blue jeans and a black tee with vans. He smiled and Y/n returned it.

"Lisa said you would be here, sorry if I am disturbing you two, I will wait outside." He apologised and closed the door after him again. Y/n looked back at Jennie who had a small frown.

"I think that's all, you can text me, I don't answer calls, anyway, my boyfriend is waiting, bye." The woman didn't get to say anything else as the girl was already walking towards the door, leaving only her sweet and flowery aroma.

"So, you're going with this Jennie Kim? How old is she, Y/n and who is she?" Asher asked the girl who was busy finishing her make-up by the vanity table as she applied lip gloss. Her boyfriend was always present and watching her get ready ever since they met as he would leave sweet and cheesy compliments about how good she looked and how much he loved her. 

"29 I think? She held a lecture last week since she's this billionaire that owns a stockbroker company and shares in many other companies that do different things from entertainment to entrepreneurship." Y/n explained what she had heard about the woman who was going up in net worth every living second. The woman who could sleep on money Y/n could only dream about, money most people could only dream about.

"You haven't heard about her?" She questioned and looked at the guy older through the mirror. There was a whole buzz about the woman as she even had TV ads, interviews, being a guest on programs, shoots and whatnot. Her company was more known than her, but she still had a great following and wasn't just some old CEO, but someone attractive who was among celebrities with invites to luxury events. It felt hard to miss her and Y/n just so happened to be going out with her, but she wasn't too invested in Jennie as a person. She always had an interest in the topic of economics and always took opportunities when she had them.

"No...I'm not interested in all that stuff, you know that I am more invested in volleyball." She hummed at that as the guy was prone to playing professionally soon enough as he was being offered deals and was playing for the university's official team. "I just want to know that you will be fine and nothing bad will happen to you." That was the guy's only worry, Y/n's safety as it was the most important thing to him.

"I will be all fine." She reassured him and got up from the chair as she turned off the mirror lights. The vixen walked over to her boyfriend who looked up at her as he sat at the edge of the bed, facing the vanity table. She grabbed his hand as he intertwined their fingers, his hand being much bigger than hers, the guy was bigger in general as he was a middle blocker at 6 '5. "I don't know if you have to wait 'cause I'm not sure when I will be back." The girl said. It was already 9:50 p.m. and her phone notification went off as she was supposed to be picked up at 10.

"So, your boyfriend just lets you go out to clubs with anyone?" Jennie asked as the two were almost near the said club. Y/n got busy with her phone through the middle of the conversation although not in a rude way, but simply because she had to mute it and send a quick reply to her group chat with friends so they would let her breathe.

"Why wouldn't he?" She questioned and put her phone beside her bare thigh, this time dressed in all black. A denim skater mini skirt, lace corset top and an oversized leather jacket. She couldn't tell if Jennie was heading to a club or if she was heading for a quick run for groceries as she was dressed in simple loose jeans again and a long sleeve with a black blazer just as loose. Jennie shrugged at that, deciding not to comment further on it.

Y/n wasn't stupid, she had caught Jennie's lingering gaze a long time ago, it was evident when they first spoke, but she honestly always ignored those gazes as she always stayed collected. It wasn't like she could do anything about it since she didn't control people even if certain gazes made her uncomfortable at times. She knew better and if she paid any mind to those she wouldn't be talking to many people at all. People got over their crushes and befriended her instead. Somewhere along the conversations with Jennie at the club that had gone surprisingly smoothly and weren't conversations where Y/n was hissy, some things did go wrong.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Y/n exclaimed as she stared into the mirror in front of her. Her pupils were blown, her body felt warm and fuzzy, warm enough for the leather jacket to get discarded in the club, her heart was beating hard and not too steady and she kept her jaw clenched to not bite off her tongue because of how her jaw was jumping basically from the bruxism. The feeling was all too familiar as she had taken it before, but it had all been willingly and not this way.

"I swear, I told her to hand you the water, but not that water." Jennie tried to excuse it as the water with ecstasy got handed to Y/n instead of the regular one. The girl was under the influence of alcohol so the taste didn't occur to her until she felt its effects. At least she had gotten closer to Jennie which made it less stupid to be high at the moment.

Y/n turned around, her siren eyes looking at the woman who she had been drinking with tonight while talking— not only was she drunk, but now also high on molly. She patted over her body, her touch feeling like brushing feathers over her body that felt like a warm and fuzzy cloud as if she was dipped in a warm and comforting bath, a sheet of sweat covering her from how warm it was. "My phone is in your car. Do you have gum? And please for the love of God, can we do something that does not include standing in this bathroom." Y/n rambled, stumbling over her tongue before clenching her jaw again to not injure herself, but the hard clenching wasn't much better because it felt like her teeth would crack.

Although she couldn't care about it since she felt too good and suddenly she wasn't too mad as she felt like every little thing that had ever bothered her, or happened, or her shitty mental health had all disappeared and she felt invincible to everything harmful. She felt free and open. Jennie bit her lower lip, looking into grey eyes that were black from the blown pupils.

"Come on," Jennie said and grabbed Y/n's hand, it felt like she was wrapped in cotton candy and the urge to just cling onto the woman was getting overwhelming Jennie guided her through the club. It took longer than necessary as Y/n talked to everyone they stopped by as people would greet them, but in the end, they reached the club's roof terrace that had been off limits because of uncertain weather. The wind blew cold against Jennie's skin, but against Y/n's it felt like feathers brushed her skin. Y/n gently chewed the gum she asked for from a girl they ran into who seemed to be in the same situation as her.

"Why did we run away from the social party?" Y/n questioned as she felt like talking to everything and everyone.

"I don't want you to get a heat stroke," Jennie replied and guided the girl along with her towards the couches that were under a roof. Y/n's hand was cold in her hold, holding a water bottle in her other hand that only had water this time, but the girl was heated up to the point where the clothes she had on now felt too warm to wear despite barely having anything on. 

"Have you taken ecstasy before?" The older woman asked to make sure that Y/n would be fine, she glanced over her shoulder to see the girl looking around the place with her lips parted. Her eyes sparkled as everything felt much more mesmerising and meaningful, to the point where meaningless things felt meaningful as the stars were close to making her tear up from how pretty they looked in the night sky. Y/n sighed as she felt great.

"Yeah, a few times, but I always get fried after so I try to only take it once or twice a year," Y/n explained, adding more than needed as Jennie sat down on the terrace couch and pulled Y/n down beside her. She opened the water bottle and handed it to the girl who sat slumped on the couch. Y/n took it, her mouth constantly running dry as her heart continued to pound in her ribcage. The emotions felt so real and heightened and she handed the water right back to Jennie after taking a sip.

Jennie didn't mind when Y/n grabbed her hand and wrapped it around her shoulders before leaning against her. Her body felt like a cloud that was embraced by another warmth as she wanted nothing more than to be held and in someone's company. It was like gentle waves that washed into shore and were heated by the sun, sparkling in the light. "I don't think we should stay long, you might get too cold...Your body isn't regulating heat or cold like it should." Jennie commented and pulled the girl closer to herself as Y/n's body started to get cold yet was still covered in a sheet of sweat and her hands felt a bit clammy.

Her eyes looked over the girl who was leaning against her, she couldn't lie and say that it didn't feel like another ego boost to hold a girl who looked like a Victoria angel. Her long legs brushed against Jennie's, exposed and glistening, her scent lingering around them, her cleavage being somewhat in the view from the top-

"It must be nice to be this rich," Y/n mumbled as she thought about who it was that sat with their arms wrapped around her as she laid with her cheek pressed against Jenne's clavicle. Her ears picked up the calming beat of Jennie's heart and the older felt like a fluffy bear the way she held her. The drug made her more touchy and open for it as she wouldn't otherwise be so clingy with the woman, but it felt too nice. 

"Yes and no...It's like you said; some people only leech off of me and don't care about more than the benefits of being close to me. Dating is also quite shitty. It gets lonely at times. Money does buy happiness, it also gets you friends and partners, but it tends to be fabricated." Y/n tilted her head back at that and looked at Jennie who looked back down at her. She chuckled at the girl who was chewing the gum with her mouth closed as her jaw was still impossible to unclench.

Y/n pouted. "I feel bad for you now." Jennie laughed at the tone of the girl and reached her hand over to her face.

"You will hurt yourself, try to open your mouth a little, Y/n."

"I can't." Y/n whined as it felt hopeless and overwhelming with how she couldn't control her clenched jaw.

Jennie gripped her jaw and could feel the vibration from how hard it was clenched. "That feels good," Y/n mumbled and closed her eyes, Jennie brushed her fingers along her smooth face. The feeling was still like feathers as her skin felt so soft and made each hair on her body stand. It was making her melt.

"You're really beautiful." Jennie complimented as she felt more daring now that the girl's cold demeanour was gone because of the drugs and she was acting all soft, whiny and mushy. Y/n sighed and opened her eyes as she stared at Jennie who she found very beautiful too. "I know, but it's hard to be this pretty, I am sure you understand." Jennie couldn't help but laugh as she continued to gently trace her fingers over the girl's face and down.

Jennie decided to use this chance and ask the girl some questions as she was somewhat drunk–answering questions too and Y/n was high and not as cold and closed off anymore. Maybe she could insinuate and get close enough to the girl.

"What's with the mean girl attitude though?" She asked and traced her fingers down Y/n's neck who lay with her head against her shoulder. The two looked at each other and Y/n sighed once again through her nose, enjoying the way Jennie softly ran her fingers over her sensitive body. They went over her collarbones, running down the neckline that stopped in the middle of her chest and back up, it brought shivers over her body and Y/n felt like she would melt from how good it felt to be held and touched.

"I've been a bully since middle school and I guess it just stuck to me and now I am what people like to call a mean girl..." She explained.

"Is that it?" She asked as it felt like a short answer.

"I'm not mean to my friends or family, well, I am at times but in a joking manner. I just guess it's easier to push people away when you aren't approachable. I also decided to live up to the stereotype and be a mean pretty girl instead of a dumb blonde since I otherwise would get categorized as dumb simply because of the way I look. My looks are preceding." She listened to every word that came from Y/n, getting a better understanding of what it felt like to be her. Y/n opened up and let Jennie take a step inside and see what her world could look like. 

Jennie's was much different.

"Why do you push people away?" She watched the way Y/n jutted out her lower lip. The intense emotions surged through her whole body. "Because people come and they go, but I don't like the going part, I hate it, I truly hate being left alone."

"I can see how being mean helps with that."

Y/n gazed her eyes over the older woman who stared at her with an intensity that felt dangerous from how it made her body tingle when she would usually ignore it. The warmth just felt too good to pull away from. She hummed at Jennie's words that crawled gently over her skin.

"Did you agree to come because of the benefits of seeing someone like me?" Jennie asked in a whisper and ran her hand up to Y/n's face. She traced her jaw as she waited for the answer, feeling like the girl would be honest with her since she was under the influence of the love drug and people tended to just spill their feelings when they were. Jennie knew because she did and tried to avoid the drug unless she was around people she trusted dearly. The water with ecstasy was truly an accident, but maybe it wasn't such a bad accident.

"Yeah, but for the benefit of your knowledge even if your lecture was fucking stupid. You know things I don't and I don't mind learning from someone who has experience, but I don't care about your fame or money or your personal life...I get nothing out of it since I am content with my life."

"I have a lot of experience Y/n if you don't care about those things, experience in a vast majority of things and knowledge too that I wouldn't mind sharing." Jennie licked her lips, her tone dropping to a more hushed one as it was low in pitch too. Y/n found herself swallowing down her dry throat as the woman ran her thumb over her bottom lip.

"I don't think that's—" Y/n started, but Jennie stopped her.

"You should open your mouth before you hurt yourself, Y/n," Jennie said and grabbed hold of her jaw once again. This time Y/n parted her lips and Jennie leaned closer as she turned her body. "We should replace your gum too." She added and gestured to the girl who pushed the piece of gum out from between her lips and Jennie proceeded to take it and toss it away. It wasn't a bad accident as it let her insinuate much easier and let her get into this position with the model-like girl.

Then came yet another wrong turn as Jennie helped Y/n lay down who held onto her shoulders, settling herself between the girl's long legs. She looked at her as she pushed her hair away with one hand, the other resting beside her head. "Will you mind? If you do, just tell me to back off because I am not forcing you into anything, Y/n." Jennie spoke, leaning closer to Y/n's plump and glossy lips, her enticing scent sweet and floral, the vanilla lingering on her lips. Y/n's mind felt fuzzy and her body even more heated in the moment with Jennie on top of her who smelled of citrus, spices, cedar and musk. It held a comfort, the scent was calming.

"You will stop if I tell you to?" Y/n asked to make sure as she couldn't figure out if she would back out in the middle or not as everything was overwhelming.

"I promise you, star," Jennie reassured the girl who nodded. 

It felt too good to deny with her fingers already threading into Jennie's hair, relishing in the feeling of all the textures that felt like the euphoria that she was in. Jennie leaned in and closed the gap between them, catching the girl's lips with hers as Y/n pulled her closer to herself. Her heart was pounding against Jennie who was on top of her with her hand gently running along her waist which was enough for the younger girl to sigh in contentment at the feelings.

Jennie tilted her head, pushing her tongue into Y/n's mouth with her hand running under the corset top. It felt lavish against her body, it felt too good to have hands run over her body and Jennie's warm and slick tongue pressing against hers. The older girl pushed herself more into Y/n, pushing her semi against her as the alcohol had made her horny to the point where she had been walking with it since the bathroom.

Y/n lightly hummed, feeling Jennie press against the heat between her legs, making her push more into the older girl whose hand found it to her breast. Jennie pulled away from her lips, watching Y/n's face, her pupils blown in a daze and her fingers played with the girl's pierced nipple and she smiled. "You're so sexy, I had a hard time looking anywhere else in that classroom." Jennie's voice sent goosebumps over Y/n's skin who leaned back in and caught her lips. The girl cupped her breast, brushing her thumb over the jewellery and hard nipple.

Their breathing grew heavier, Y/n's chest heaving as her lips let go of Jennie's, too overwhelmed by all the touch over her body. The girl pushed her one leg apart more until it fell down the couch and Jennie made herself more comfortable between her legs, this time Y/n could feel Jennie's cock pressed against her heat fully as her skirt rode up her thighs. "Feels good," Y/n mumbled as her eyes closed at the lips that trailed along her neck. They were wet kisses like a paintbrush gently painting her skin. Jennie hummed at the words that gently brushed their way into her ears, Y/n being lost in bliss.

The vixen moved her head and Jennie looked up at her. Y/n's heart was picking up more and more, the throbbing becoming too much between her legs as it had left her underwear damp. "I want you to fuck me, Jennie." She breathed out and Jennie kissed her once again, the words making her dick throb at how much she wanted to do what the girl asked for. 

She sucked on her bottom lip, savouring the taste of vanilla from the lipgloss while reaching her hand between their bodies, the other still resting beside Y/n's head. The music was completely muted in their world, the faint talking coming from below them from outside the club, the nightlife of the city being at full speed while the two were melting in their acidic clouds of lust. The world didn't disappear, but they went through a door to a new one. It was an invite to Sin City.

Jennie unzipped her pants, pushing them down just enough together with her boxer briefs at the front to take her leaking cock out that was scalding in her hold, the vein throbbing. Blindly she pushed Y/n's skirt up more and the girl whimpered when Jennie brushed her fingers over her wet pussy as she pulled the lace underwear to the side. The only thing on her mind was to bury herself deep within Y/n's warmth as imaging it hadn't been enough.

She pulled away from her lips, still brushing over them as they both held them parted, breaths fanning against each other from their hitched breathing. She guided her sensitive tip to her entrance while pumping herself. Y/n's breath fell short when she felt the stretch, Jennie's tip slowly pushing into her tight hole as the two moaned. Y/n drowned in how it overtook her body as Jennie moved her hips in one smooth motion, filling her and making her moan and whine at the painful stretch that somehow felt good at the same time. 

Jennie stalled her movement at the snug grip on her cock, the girl being tight as her pussy greedily took her throbbing in-need cock. All she wanted to do was milk the girl full with her cum. The older woman wanted to remove their clothes and be able to see the way her cock stretched the girl out who was holding back on whimpers. To be able and see how her thick cock spread her lips and pushed inside. Her pussy was wet and warm, fitting her tightly. "You're so tight, Y/n, you feel so good." She moaned, placing both her forearms beside the girl's head as she buried her face in her neck.

"Fuck, oh god, fuck, make me feel good, Jennie." Y/n practically begged at the stinging stretch, feeling the scalding dick deep inside her. The woman on top of her let out something between a moan and a groan when she started to move. Y/n's hands clutched onto her shoulders as her head got thrown back. The thrusts picked up to deep and rough, with each a light moan followed by how full she felt and the way Jennie's pelvis was brushing against her clit. Her cock dragged along her walls, getting swallowed by her slick cunt, the girl feeling the way the bulbous pink tip caressed her g-spot as it curved just the right amount. It was making her whole body tingle and clit throb at Jennie's touch.

Jennie let out heavy breaths and grunts, the tight and sweltering walls slick and throbbing around her swollen cock. A moan followed from her lips and she clenched her jaw with her eyes closing tightly at how good it felt to be fucking the girl that had managed to give her a semi with the way she rolled her eyes in the classroom. Y/n's hands gripped onto Jennie's shirt, her moans falling into Jennie's ears as her legs spasmed with her back arching, chest pressing against Jennie's. Her thrusts got harsher but the pace stayed in the same tempo of a beating heart. Y/n let out a gasp at the pleasurable pain of getting stuffed by the older woman's cock who knew exactly how to position herself to fuck her right. It made her walls clamp down around her with each thrust.

It started to wash over her, it went through every nerve in her body, her veins getting filled with more chemicals as her whole body tingled the closer she got. "Your pussy is amazing, God, I want to fuck you right every single day." Jennie groaned out, her stomach twisting as she couldn't hold herself longer from how good Y/n felt around her. She felt almost disappointed with herself because she wanted to keep fucking the vixen whose cunt was taking away her breath, but her orgasm was coming quickly.

Unable to last as long as she usually did– it didn't seem to matter when Y/n's walls clasped around her and she felt nails dig into her shoulders. The moans were light and whiny, Y/n unable to grasp how good it felt or what exactly she was feeling when it came crashing like a harsh wave over her whole body. Jennie's jaw clasped closed, the sound coming out strained when her hips stuttered this time, the first rope of cum shooting right into her and she buried herself balls deep inside the pussy that was pulsating around her cock that continued to spurt out thick ropes of cum. It only made the vixen feel even more filled at how the warm cum splattered her walls white.

Y/n opened her eyes as more washed over her, this time not an orgasm or pleasure as her heart started to beat harder and faster than after the orgasm. She stared at the roof over them that was blocking the sky. That's when it stopped feeling good as Yn knew the whole time that Asher was waiting for her at home whom she loved and who loved her dearly yet she still proceeded with something that felt good in the moment but left her feeling sick after because of herself.

"Did you cum inside me?" She asked to make sure the woman panting into her neck as she laid on top of her came inside her. At the back of her head, she knew that she did because she could still feel her inside, the thick member growing soft. Her hands gripped her shirt, slowly unable to handle all the emotions that were so much stronger from the drug coursing through her veins. All she could do was feel guilty and regret allowing herself to go as far as this. Y/n knew she had no excuse for it except for the selfishness that washed over her at the moment; lust.

Jennie swallowed and slowly pulled her limp dick out of the girl. She pushed herself up and looked down between them as she first fixed Y/n's underwear and skirt. "Yeah—" She simply replied and sat up, leaning back against the backrest of the couch, swiftly putting her cock back inside her drawers as Y/n pushed herself up to sit while trying to not get eaten by the strong emotions. "I assumed you're on birth control since you have a boyfriend," Jennie added while zipping her pants back up, glancing at Y/n who had her eyes elsewhere. She frowned, waiting for a reply from the girl as she now got worried that she wasn't on any birth control.

"I have an implant," Y/n replied and before Jennie could ask more her head snapped towards the door where they had walked out from that got pushed open with loud laughter and talking. The music became less muffled before the door fell closed and it got muffled once again. Y/n's mind was in a daze, drowning in the strong guilt she felt as the people joined them, unable to talk to them as there was a lump in her throat the whole time.

Jennie hadn't managed to say a word to Y/n except to ask if she was ready to leave when the clock struck close to 3 am. She spent the car ride watching the girl whose pupils slowly went back to normal typing away on her phone. Jennie was unsure of what to say so she didn't say anything. It didn't feel necessary to ask anything since they barely knew each other and had only talked about some common interests and to other people who joined them and then the sex. 

She assumed that sex was the problem, but it wasn't her problem since she was satisfied.

Y/n reached for the door handle right away when the car stopped outside her and Asher's apartment complex. However, she got stopped by Jennie who grabbed hold of her wrist because she still had to make sure of one thing that she had been worried about. She knew that she should be more careful. Y/n looked back at the woman.

"Are you sure that you're on birth control? I mean, I could ask my manager to get you plan B's right now if you aren't." Y/n rolled her eyes at the question. She sharply exhaled through her nose and grabbed hold of Jennie's hand and brought it up to her arm, guiding two fingers over the implant and letting Jennie feel that it was there. She dropped the woman's hand and opened the door, without a word more she got out and slammed the door closed after her.

Y/n had made it inside the silent apartment, kicked off her shoes and gone straight to the shower to wash away the filth she felt like she was. She knew that she wouldn't be able to get rid of it though because she couldn't reverse the fact that she had cheated on the guy she had been with for four years. The one who trusted her every time she went out without him. The one whose heart she had in her hands and knew would crush if she told him. Y/n wasn't ready to lose him, she didn't want to. She loved him even if it made her even more selfish. She had already been selfish once and saw no reason to stop.

She had put on her pyjama pants and shirt that she had left in the bathroom earlier and went straight to the couch. Unable to walk the way to the bedroom and lay down beside someone clueless while being aware of what she had done. It didn't feel right to go to the home she had with him after letting in someone uninvited. Vinci lay beside her as she buried her face in his fur and let the tears slowly bleed from her eyes.

She blocked Jennie's number, not because she cheated on her boyfriend with her, but because she had a feeling she would do it again if she saw the woman. Despite the terrible feelings and how horrible it made her—she couldn't deny how good it felt and it made her feel even worse about it all.

[Present]

"But you are labelled the same way he is."

"Why are you so obsessed with him?" Y/n questioned as Jennie couldn't keep it out of her mouth whenever she saw the girl. Jennie knew that Y/n was the type of girl who had a mouth too good for her good in many ways, but one was that she could say things that would get on her nerves. She turned the swivel chair as her hand let go of Y/n's jaw and this time grabbed hold of her neck before a clatter followed when she pushed the chair into the vanity table.

"Watch what you're saying. I'm not obsessed with him, I'm just stating the fact that you are dating someone stupid enough to let his girlfriend walk without being there to make sure no one else is wetting their dick in her."

"That's because he trusts me not to let it happen which I guess you've always had a hard time with...Is that why you run to someone taken instead of finding someone who wants you?" For a second, Y/n could feel the grip tighten on her neck. The woman stared her down as she was towering over her because she was sitting in the chair. Jennie poked at the inside of her cheek. She knew that she had no right to fight with the girl about these things so she didn't do it this time. She also knew that the vixen had a thing for making her angry, it was either because of the sex that came with it or to degrade the person she was cheating with because she felt horrible but couldn't stop even when she tried.

She grabbed Jennie's wrist, the older woman looking into the eyes that turned docile and she loosened her grip on her throat. The two weren't sure when the arguing started as it happened at times but it did some time after they started to see each other. "There's no reason to take it there Y/n when you could instead take my cock and if you want to study you could sit on it and do it. Be a good cock-warmer instead." Jennie suggested as she didn't come over to fight with the girl, but Y/n was petty–towards Jennie that is. All she came for was to stick her dick into the girl and spend time with it there.

Jennie liked meaningless sex.

"How bout I go out, buy a strap, and have you sit on it while I study?" Y/n suggested right back as she tilted her head. The only thing she planned on doing was studying and she only replied to Jennie to have her stop texting, but it backfired as the older woman came knocking on her door instead. Y/n was always occupied with school, work, friends and her boyfriend. She had no time for Jennie aside from the times when Asher had competitions and it was the season for them so it happened more often now. He'd be away for a day, two or more on tournaments and Y/n would try to make it with their friends to some.

Jennie's schedule was more versatile considering she mostly worked from home and got to schedule and reschedule however she liked. People wanted her time, not the other way around with one exception which was Y/n.

"Why are you being an asshole when I am just offering you some quality time together?" Y/n removed Jennie's hand from her neck and the woman stepped back when Y/n got up from the chair. Jennie didn't mind that the girl was taller, it was hot in her opinion. "You must be really into ass stuff if you keep coming back to fuck me then." She grabbed hold of Jennie's shoulders and pushed the woman until the back of her knees hit the bed and Jennie sat down. Her hands found their way to the girl's ass as she held it while looking up at her.

"Not like you are letting me." She muttered as Y/n hadn't even let her take off her top or touch her the way she liked. If Jennie knew, she would have never gotten involved with the vixen because she had been running right back to her despite having the option of many other girls. She couldn't figure out if it was the sex, the pussy, Y/n's skills, or maybe the girl in general even if she at times left the place with more pent-up anger than when she came over.

The vixen wasn't one to fight, she deemed herself to not be toxic until she stumbled upon Jennie. She couldn't tell if it was the guilt and shame she felt from cheating whenever she was with Asher—those feelings that disappeared with Jennie. She had never had any serious or real fights, some bickering and misunderstandings always happened—it changed though. It felt like they were fighting every other day now and Y/n knew that it was all her, that it was her fault. She loved him, she loved him too much to break his heart and hoped that he would do it instead, but she knew that it couldn't go on like this.

Y/n looked down, being able to see the print of Jennie's semi-hard dick through the grey sweats. "Not sure I will either." She replied and pushed Jennie to lay down on her back before coming up to straddle her. The woman let out a huff at the pressure put on her dick which had been growing hard ever since she left her place and started to think about the girl. Y/n's warm and light body planted itself on top of her and she groaned at the feeling that made her body react.

"Shouldn't you be at some big private party fucking other girls?" Y/n asked and Jennie released a shaky breath at how she started to gyrate her hips, grinding down on her growing cock. Jennie was a busy person, she had girls willing to suck her off at every corner and yet she was showing up to Y/n's apartment. It seemed stupid in Y/n's opinion to miss out on those parties and that life, she knew that if she were in Jennie's shoes she wouldn't be missing out on it.

Her eyes stayed on where Y/n was pressed down against her, watching how she as smoothly as waves moved her clothed cunt against her restrained cock. "They're no fun alone...What're you doing tomorrow?" She breathed out. 

Y/n smiled and leaned closer, her hips not stopping as she could feel Jennie's erection right against her heat. The older woman's chest heaved and her grip got tighter on Y/n's ass, fondling her cheeks as groping at the siren's body only turned her on even more. To trace each perfect curve, the slim body was easy to hold and bend. "I'm busy tomorrow, my friends are sleeping here and then we are going out on Saturday," Y/n replied, rolling her hips against Jennie's throbbing cock, the friction growing as her hips stuttered into Y/n, dry humping at her. The older woman wanted nothing more than for the girl to take it in either her mouth or snug cunt. She loved both.

"Don't go." It strained, coming from the back of her throat as she suppressed the moan that was close to pushing through from the friction. Her cock leaking with the salty pre-cum and staining as Y/n glanced down to see a small wet spot. It made her continue, Jennie was unable to look away from how smoothly her hips rolled back and forth with ease, there was no stutter or messy humping aside from the way her hips buckled up. It made her grip tighten even more as she held back on the sounds that wanted to escape her lips since the girl hadn't even touched her skin.

"What?"

"I told you not to go. Call and cancel." Jennie let out, between her uneven heavy breaths, her hips bucking into the girl who was whining against the big erection. The woman was a shower in general and the print was always there, but it got very prominent now that she was erect. There was nothing better than Jennie pushing it all right into her and stretching her out, but Y/n's ego got in the way right now.

"Why would I do as you tell me?" Y/n questioned, staring down at the older woman whose vein was popping out at the side of her throat. She reached her one hand to her throat, brushing her fingers over it. The request seemed fairly odd, but it wasn't new that Jennie tried to order her around. Jennie tried to get control she didn't have because she didn't have Y/n to begin with because she was intruding on a home. 

"I'm not telling you what to do." Jennie defended and was about to lift herself, her eyes trained on their parts that were pressing against each other, Y/n's ass dragging along her and pressing down harder. The patch of precum on her sweats had grown bigger and the outline was lined up perfectly for the girl. She was ready to either fuck the girl or bust any second which she was not up for since she would find it embarrassing if she came in her underwear. She didn't get to sit up though as the fingers that were tracing her vein grabbed hold of her throat and held her down.

"You did." Y/n knew what she heard and what she did hear sounded much like a demand that Jennie had no position to place.

"I asked," Jennie argued in a quiver, her tone defensive and in a rasp as her dick was throbbing, the friction only continued to grow as Y/n pressed down harder against her. This time a grunt escaped her as she couldn't hold back, Y/n's breath hitching every time she dragged over the mushroom tip and rubbed at her covered clit that was pulsating at how needy she had gotten just from rubbing against her.

"That wasn't asking, that was ordering." Her eyes snapped up at Y/n who wasn't letting it go.

"You must've heard me wrong. I said, "Could you call and cancel?" Y/n chuckled at those words, finding it ridiculous that Jennie was trying to lie. She knew what she had heard her say. The woman always defended her wrongs and never righted them.

"You didn't." Y/n calmly said as she knew that Jennie was losing her cool because her orgasm was approaching and she wasn't getting things the way she wanted them to be. That was her worst nightmare in the end. Y/n wasn't giving in and was putting up a fight when most girls didn't because they didn't have the guts to go against someone who was of higher status. They were there for money, but Y/n wasn't. Y/n matter factly couldn't care less about who Jennie was and her money.

Jennie was a loser in her opinion.

"Then what did I say?" Jennie gritted out and tried to stall Y/n's hips and she let go of her throat, the brunette's fingertips digging into her plump ass.

"Don't go, call and cancel," Y/n repeated and grabbed Jennie's hands, prying them away from her ass. The only time she had some sort of strength or control was when Jennie was at the edge and unable to use her strength right. She pulled them away from herself so the woman under her wouldn't be able to stop her and pinned them down above her head, watching how her chest heaved much quicker.

"It wasn't meant as an order, must've been my tone." Jennie's hooded eyes caught Y/n's, glancing at her plump lips that held a haughty smirk.

"Sure." She said in a whisper, not caring since it wasn't her embarrassment, but Jennie's because she knew what she had heard. Somehow she had learned what ticked Jennie off who was holding back whimpers and whines at the moment. She had her in a moment of weakness because Jennie was about to cum which she wanted to do but not in her underwear.

"Asking you to stay is not a big deal." Y/n hummed at that and Jennie's brows furrowed, lips parting to speak only to close as she shakily inhaled, feeling that knot tightening in her stomach before it would at last snap. 

"You're just sensitive. I was trying to have you stay to spend the day or go to a party that will be better than wherever you are going. I was trying to be nice and you twisted it and made me look bad." She only let the woman blabber on desperately as she was going out of her way to explain herself even if Y/n had dropped it. She only hummed once again as she knew that Jennie was going out of her way because she had heard it all right.

"Fuck, I'm gonna cum—get off." Jennie groaned and tried to get her hands out of Y/n's grip. It was a weak try because the knot was getting overwhelming after she hadn't had any release for a good week which was when she last saw the girl on top of her. Her breathing grew deeper and harsher as she could feel it throbbing down her cock that hardened even more and her balls tightened. All her strength going on trying to hold back instead of trying to get out of Y/n's hold.

"Isn't that what you wanted though?" Y/n mocked and bit her lower lip, managing to wrap her slender fingers around Jennie's wrists to have her one hand free.

"Not like this." She pushed 

"You want to cum inside?" Jennie pathetically nodded before burying her face in her shoulder and biting down on her hoodie to try and hold back. "Too bad you will never get to," Y/n stated as they always had protection. Her hand reached for Jennie's jaw, grasping it and being met by her dark eyes when she pulled her away from her shoulder. She tried to pull away to hide her face as she was starting to get embarrassed and the last thing she wanted was for Y/n to get even more out of it by having her make these sounds she had never made before until the vixen on top of her let her get a taste of her.

"Y/n–" She didn't get to finish when the said girl moved her hips once more, all the way to her throbbing tip. Y/n's grip tightened on her cheeks to make sure that Jennie would let out all of her pathetic little whimpers and whines when she came since she always muffled them. Jennie's head went blank as the sounds flew out of her mouth, whimpering as her hips bucked with each spurt of cum into her underwear that grew warm and sticky. Her back arched and she convulsed, Y/n slowing down and removing some pressure. Jennie whined at how she came in a way that made her whole body numb and more cum leak out when she bucked once again into the girl.

"It's so funny how you try to come off all superior, but then whimper like a little bitch and cum in your underwear like a teenager...Is it some kind of complex?" Y/n continued to mock, watching how Jennie panted for air under her and the vixen lifted herself, glancing down to see a big stain that had formed on the grey material. 

"You're a fucking bitch." Jennie gritted out, still out of breath as she struggled her wrists out of Y/n's grip with ease. She grabbed her hips and harshly pushed her off of herself before sitting up. She cringed at the big load she had blown and the stain it caused. It pissed her off as she looked at Y/n with her eyes hard. Never had she let any other girls take it so far or have her humiliated in this way, but it happened all the time with the girl who had her dick under some spell. Over her dead body would anything like this happen, but here she was all alive and it was happening every time with Y/n.

"Not my fault you came as if you haven't had sex in years." Y/n shrugged as she hadn't expected Jennie to release so much from just some simple dry humping. 

Jennie grumbled under her breath, making Y/n hum in confusion as she leaned back against her headboard.

"Cause, I haven't had sex in a week, you fucking whore."

"So sweet." Y/n continued and counted the days before she frowned. "Wait– you're telling me the last time you had sex was at the hotel?" This time she questioned as the two had run into each other and Jennie booked a room for the night–Y/n excusing herself and saying she was staying over at Lisa's place when Asher asked. She knew that if he had called Lisa she would've covered for her.

"What about it?" Jennie asked and took out her phone, wallet, and car keys before tossing them onto the side table. The frown did not leave her eyebrows, the mess uncomfortable.

"Nothing, I just assumed since you've been to so many events and stuff during the week that you managed to see someone else." She looked at Y/n, wondering if she truly didn't care whether she saw someone else or not.  

Jennie wasn't going to tell her the truth.

"I haven't had time, so I would appreciate it if we could at least go at it once." This time she asked with her nicest voice. Y/n tilted her head as she looked at the mess she created in Jennie's sweats–she would lie if she said that she wasn't wet and her clit wasn't throbbing. It was especially hot after seeing Jennie be the mess she was while also being back to calling her these names and manhandling her. 

TAGSLIST! @yxlis @jisooftme @geeminz @lisas-earlobe @xszn @badasgff @badaspookie @hwm1hyun / taglist is open

[absolutebl]

What to watch after Pit Babe? Thai BL Actor Guide

So you loved Pit Babe and you wanna see your favorite BL boy in his old series? But should you?

Here's a guide...

Babe AKA Pavel - 2 Moons 2

Pavel is one of my favorite actors in BL (he's this blog's icon for a reason) and actually 2 Moons 2 is pretty good, primarily because of his character, Forth. Who has an actual character evolution and growth arc... in a BL!

Amazing.

Don't be fooled 2 Moons 2 is a reboot and extension of 2 Moons, not a spin off. So you don't have to have watched the first iteration, in fact I recommend against it.

Anygay, the main couple of 2M2 is naff, but Forth is great and Pavel is great as that character. He has good chemistry with his pairing, and as a BL fan it's not a bad idea to know your 2 Moon's roots. 2 Moons is one of the most popular Y-novels ever written, one of the most popular shows of it's time, and the perpetuator of many Thai BL tropes.

Pavel's second BL, Coffee Melody, is not worth watching.

If Babe was your favorite character, and Babe & Charlie a pairing you enjoy, I would suggest Big Dragon as your next BL. Same vibes, high heat, chaotic. Another possibility is the slightly lower heat but stil unhinged Laws of Attraction.

You also might like some stuff out of Taiwan. They tend to have the angst + high heat + sappy softness that characterized Charlie + Babe.

Way AKA Nut - Oxygen

Nut is way different in his previous rolls, as the lead in both Oxygen, and Something in My Room. Same gorgeous voice and soulful eyes and Nut tends to play sensitive torn characters but the similarities end there.

In Oxygen, his acting is stiff. In fact, Oxygen as a whole is pretty stiff. I like it very much and it is a big comfort watch for me because of it's smooth peaceful softness, but it's flawed, slow and awkward. I did an episode by episode thing for that show (my first watch along).

In his second BL, Something in My Room, Nut demonstrates improved acting and chemistry, but I don't recommend it. It's a touch of horror, built on the "my ghost boyfriend" trope, and it's quite sad.

So try Oxygen but if what you're after is more BL with a Way-like main character then I would recommend Moonlight Chicken or The Eclipse chewy BL with sensitive boys and some grey morality.

Jeff AKA Pon - Starhunter Talent

Pon was with Starhunter before this and so has appearances in several of their BLs. He's demonstrated great natural acting talent, charisma, and good chemistry with all his pairs but because he often appeared in chaotic ensemble pieces has been easily forgotten (including by me). Starhunter chronically underused him but also utterly miss-applied him.

Gen Y 2 is actually a master class in flawed casting. They put Pon into a triangle, where he plays a fated mate pining uke against a very stiff lead pair - but they expected us not to want him to be end game. Big mistake. Watch this mess if you just want to see how a good actor can eat up all the air of a bad pair, winning hearts and influencing fans.

Otherwise the Gen Y series is a bloated mess, and I can't recommend them. I trashed watched so you don't have too. While Pon demonstrates skills against a backdrop of ranging tallent, oddball story, and chaotic outcomes I wouldn't have bothered if not for the dumpster fire.

Pon's first BL is The Moment, and he's good in it, but it's a terrible show. Boring and plotless.

He's fantastic in Make A Wish but only a side part (despite what is said in MDL) and his arc is VERY sad. Still it's a GREAT under appreciated BL, I recommend it as the one to watch if you have to see Pon in something else. It's nothing like Pit Babe though.

Yeah our pathway for Pon ends here, so lets look, instead, at

Alan & Jeff - Bed Friend

This was Sailub's first BL role, and I speak for all of us when I say... more please.

So instead of a watching a pathway for him, I'm gonna give you a few BL suggestions based on the assumption that this side couple was your favorite from this series (as it was mine).

What we had with this pairing was

older sensitive sweetheart sunshine seme + tortured dark scared tsundere uke.

FUN dynamic! Here are some options where this style took center stage:

Bed Friend

Between Us

Love By Chance (AePete only)

Triage

Tokyo in April is

I Became the Main Role of a BL

Pete & Kenta - Word of Honor

Ah you like your boys troubled with money, questionable morals, and the slight inclination to pick at their fingernails with a knife?

Neither Garfield nor Ping have done other BLs but here are my picks for BLs that feature this kind of character and dynamic, and we are leaving Thailand for these (since it's darker territory than Thailand usually handles... well).

HIStory 3: Trapped 

Long Time No See 

Irresistible Love

Word of Honor

Where Your Eyes Linger

Other familiar faces

NORTH AKA Michael

North played by Michael was our big comedy insert for this show.

But all his roles prior to this were very serious. Till the World Ends and Call It What You Want are practically depressing, even his role in Oxygen is pretty dark. He actually has been in BL a very long time, he was one of Noh's friends in Love Sick at just 18. Frankly, that'd waht you should watch if you are gonna watch any of his back catelogue, but it's NOTHING like Pit Babe or his role in it, still it's the beginning of Thai BL and Noh is a little sunshine of chaos, and it's great so...

Where was I?

If you really want a comedic himbo lead character there are are quite a few out there, and it's a crazy playing field because Japan is in it to win it.

Leaving aside high school stuff, here are some options:

Cherry Magic (Japan)

Ossan’s Love 

Mr Unlucky Can Only Kiss

Love Tractor

Bad Buddy

Love Stage!!

My Day

History 4: Close to You

KIM AKA Benz

Benz who played Kim has also done BL before, En of Love: This Is Love Story, but it is not good and not worth watching.

While I want the queer Falling Into Your Smile or Love O2O or Appledog more than anything, that doesn't exist. We have yet to have a true gaymer BL. (I mean come on, nerdy queer is practically a stereotype at this point, where is it?)

All of which is to say if Kim was your favorite... I don't know. Our Dating Sim maybe Semantic Error?

WINNER AKA Pop

Pop has lead out a BL, it's a very slow, very queer, very unwatched piece called La Cuisine.

@heretherebedork and I loved it, but it's hard to imagine anyone else enjoying it. You have to be a hard BL stan to tolerate the pace and pulp quality of that one. He's a completely different character but if you really like the actor try him in La Cuisine, I think he was better cast for that than Pit Babe.

I just enjoyed the show in general, what's next?

In general, if you really enjoyed Pit Babe itself as a series (and it's multiple couples and chaotic noise and erratic concept) you're in the KinnPorsche camp of Thai BL. I actually made a "watch next" pathways and rating guide for that show, which might work for you.

Specifically I would say Manner of Death. It's a little more focused in character and plot but still a wild ride. And MaxTul are the Kings for a reason.

You might also try Not Me, Never Let Me Go, and 3 Will Be Free although all of these, coming from GMMTV, are lower heat levels than Pit Babe.

Finally, seriously, try The Sign. I know it was airing "in competition" but there is room in your heart for both shows. I promise. They have the same wild sexy energy, and are loads of fun.

(source)

[taeyongdoyoung]

point of view

summary: you sneak into your ex-boyfriend's ship with the desperate hope to save your Jedi friends. but you discover more than you bargained for... pairing: seonghwa x reader x chan genre: space opera, romance (?), science fiction, fantasy warnings: morally grey characters, mentions of past crimes (unspecified but we're talking Anakin Skywalker level of crimes), betrayal, cheating (?), kissing, crying, just overall Star Wars setting with no clear-cut boundaries between good and evil author's note: the events are loosely based on certain scenes in Revenge of the Sith and the title is inspired by Ariana Grande's pov word count: 2.3k

The lightsaber glows brighter as you near your destination. All along, you knew it was a bad idea to infiltrate Darth Mars's ship all by yourself. But you have no choice. If you do not confront him yourself, you are afraid that your Jedi friends will be in danger.

Considering your history with Darth Mars, a small part of you still believes that you hold some kind of power over him. He is the one who taught you everything you know now about being a Jedi. He is the one who taught you how to fight, how to defend yourself and how to look after the ones you care about.

So, when he turned to the Dark Side, it was not only your heart that was broken, but also your trust. In him and in everything he stood for. He was the chosen one, for Force's sake...You have to admit, you miss him more than anything. You miss the man he used to be. You even miss your past self. The one who was not haunted by the consequences of his betrayal. The one who still had hopes for a better future for the Galaxy.

"Very foolish of you to come alone," Darth Mars, or should you say, Seonghwa, says, appearing from the shadows.

Bravely, you point the lightsaber at him.

"I taught you better than that," he scoffs.

"Have you?" you attempt to taunt him, because you know your fighting skills are nowhere near his supreme excellency. You can only use your mind and your tongue as a weapon.

"Did you come here to kill me?" Seonghwa chuckles lightly. "Go ahead, then. I don't intend to fight you, of all people."

"I have no intention of killing you."

"Pity. I was beginning to grow tired of it all. Even so, it wouldn't be in your style to kill me while I was defenseless. It wouldn't be honourable," Seonghwa spits the last word out as if it's dirty.

"What do you know about honour? You betrayed us, turning to the Dark Side. And for what? More power? What did you do that for? You left us, Hwa!"

"That's not my name," Seonghwa shakes his head in denial, still hiding beneath that mask. You feel so sad. You wish you could make him see...See how much he hurt you. See you.

You let go of your lightsaber, pulling his mask off.

Oh. His face is not like you remember. Filled with scars and burns and so much pain, as if reflecting the way he changed. Not just on the inside but on the outside, as well. No, you refuse to believe that. Some part of him is still your Seonghwa, the one you fell in love with. The one, that despite everything, you still love.

"Who did this to you?" you ask softly.

"Who do you think? My Master..."

"No, Chan would never...He loved you," you argue.

Chan is the Jedi who taught Seonghwa everything. Just like how Seonghwa taught you, the relationship between Master and Padawan is so special and sacred. But you cannot imagine that Chan would do something like that to Seonghwa.

"Fine, I did it to myself," Seonghwa shrugs. "We had a fight over our...differences. Things escalated and...well, let's just say a planet filled with lava is not a good place for exchanging blows."

You shake your head, still in desbelief. How could this go so far? How did you let it?

"Don't beat yourself up," Seonghwa grins darkly. "This would have happened with or without you."

"I never looked at Chan that way, you know? Not while I was with you, anyway."

"But you do now," Seonghwa states. Not really blaming you, just stating a fact.

"I do," you admit. "But I never stopped thinking about you."

"Not even after everything I did?" Seonghwa murmurs and is that...regret in his voice? You are unsure if he's still capable of that. Or any feeling for that matter.

"Not even then," you sigh.

"Why did you come here, Y/N?" Seonghwa needs to know.

"I came to beg you not to kill my Jedi friends. Leave Chan and the others alone. I would do anything you want. Just let them be."

"Would you stay with me?" Seonghwa tilts his head and in that moment, it's like you're back to when it all started. Deep down, he's still just a boy, desperate to be loved.

"I said anything, didn't I?" you insist. If this means never seeing your Jedi friends again, so be it. At least, they would be safe...Or that's how you delude yourself.

"Very well, then. I won't touch them provided that you don't go back on your word," Seonghwa promises.

You cannot believe it worked. You cannot believe he still cares about you enough to accept this. You never found out why he turned to the Dark Side. Seonghwa was never one to be blindly tempted by power. No, there must have been something else.

"If you wanted to be with me so badly, why did you betray us, then?" you can't go another second without knowing.

"What's the use in telling you?" Seonghwa replies sadly, turning away from you. No, no, he's shutting himself off again. Just as he was beginning to open up...

You grab his wrist as if possessed, forcing him to face you again.

"Please, tell me. I want to understand you," you plead with him.

"You died. You died in my arms and accepting the Sith way was the only way to bring you back to life. If there was another solution, I wouldn't have done this, I wouldn't have left."

"W-what?" you are shaking, not capable of accepting the truth. "I was d-dead?! How did I not know that? How did nobody know?"

"Chan knew," Seonghwa grunts angrily and puts on his mask again. "He insisted on hiding the truth from you. He was certain that if you found out, you'd follow me to the Dark Side...And he couldn't let that happen. Said you have too much potential as a Jedi."

No, no, this can't be right. Truths and lies become blurred in your head as you struggle to decide what to think. Who to trust? Seonghwa? Chan? Yourself? You cannot tell what is real and what is false anymore.

"You don't believe me," Seonghwa guesses correctly. "That's alright. You can ask Chan yourself," Seonghwa tilts his chin forward, as if pointing to something, someone behind you.

In that moment, a bunch of Stormtroopers lead Chan into the room.

"What should we do with this intruder, Lord Mars?" the Stormtroopers ask.

"Leave him here with my other prisoner. I shall question them myself," Seonghwa replies, appearing disinterested. Oh, so you're a prisoner now? Even though you voluntarily offered to stay with him provided that your Jedi friends are safe. You feel so foolish all of a sudden.

The Stormtroopers accept Seonghwa's orders rightaway, leaving the the three of you alone.

"I'll give you two a moment," Seonghwa shrugs carelessly, locking you in the same room with Chan.

For a brief second, you wonder if he did the wise thing. But then you remember, getting on his ship was easy. Getting out? Sounds like an impossible ordeal.

"Chan, what are you doing here?" you ask furiously.

"What does it look like?" Chan replies. "I'm here to rescue you."

"Yeah, and how is that working out for you?" you hiss bitterly. "Now, we're both stuck here instead of just me."

"Did you seriously think I'd let you face him alone?"

"I told you I can handle myself!" you argue passionately. "You always do this. You don't trust me, do you?"

"It's not you I don't trust, it's him around you," Chan cries out in pain.

"Well, I'm not sure I can trust you anymore," you confess.

Chan shrieks back, as if stricken by your words.

"Is it true that I died? Is it true that you knew I died and you kept it a secret from me?" you want to know.

"Listen, I don't know what lies Seonghwa told you but he would have turned to the Dark Side with or without you."

"Funny, I never mentioned that's the reason he went all Sith. You just confirmed it yourself."

Chan gulps nervously, realizing his own mistake.

"How could you, Chan?" you shake your head in disappointment. "I thought you'd never lie to me."

"I just wanted to protect you."

"Protect me?" your eyes widen in disbelief. "From what exactly? 'Cause it seems to me that Seonghwa was the one protecting me."

"And it was wrong! He committed all these terrible crimes just to bring you back. He turned on all his Jedi friends. He turned on me!"

"So, you're saying you'd rather I stayed dead? Is that it?"

"Don't twist my words," Chan closes his eyes, pained to have this conversation.

"You have done that yourself," you murmur, feeling tired all of a sudden and go to the door, knocking as loudly as you can. "I can't stay in the same room with the other prisoner!"

Expecting the Stormtroopers to show up and move you somewhere else, you are taken aback when Seonghwa...well, he's currently looking more Darth Mars, opens the door himself.

"And here I thought I was doing you two lovebirds a favour," he jokes.

"Get me out of here," you respond angrily.

"You're in no position to be giving me orders, sweetheart," Seonghwa chuckles gently. You want to kill him. Or kiss him. You don't know anymore. Everything is so confusing. It hurts so much...

"Get me out of here, please?" you try again, knowing it will infuriate Chan. Oh, how he wishes it was him you were begging. To run away with him suddenly sounds even more imprudent than staying with a Sith Lord.

"Much better," Seonghwa acquiesces, takes you by the arm and leads you somewhere else.

"You'll regret this," Chan warns.

"You'll regret me more," you whisper.

To your further shock, Seonghwa takes you to his chambers. You are uncertain whether he trusts you that much or he's simply confident enough that you won't be able to try anything funny. To be completely honest with yourself, even if you did try something, you would never be able to defeat Seonghwa by yourself. Then again, examples of Padawans beating their Masters are not unheard of...But you are definitely not ready for such a confrontation. Not yet, anyhow.

Not only did you learn that Seonghwa turned to the Dark Side in order to save your life, but you also just discovered that Chan kept that a secret from you. And if Chan knew, then there was a huge chance other Jedi also found out the truth. Chan was never good at keeping secrets from the Jedi. But he seems to be great at lying to you. Thus, everything you ever believed in is put into question. What is right or wrong? What is true or false? What is good or bad? These notions seem so ridiculous to you now that you have no clue what you intend to do next. You can only hope that Seonghwa's sacrifice wasn't in vain. You can only hope to live long enough to find answers for yourself.

"He told you the truth, didn't he?" Seonghwa makes yet another correct guess.

"I tricked him into it," you smirk, somewhat proud of yourself.

"That's my girl," Seonghwa nudges your shoulder playfully.

"What do I do now?" you burst into tears, burying your head in his chest. "Everything I believed in is in shambles. I don't even know if I wanna be a Jedi anymore."

"That's alright. You can always join me."

"Join the Dark Side?" you eye him suspiciously.

"Dark, Light...isn't it all the same?" Seonghwa tilts his head to the side. You hate it, but he has a point.

"Do I even have a choice? You said I'm your prisoner..."

"There's always a choice," Seonghwa insists. "And maybe I'm your prisoner. Did you ever think about that?"

You take off his mask again. He looks away, as if embarrassed.

"Don't hide from me," you beg, placing a hand on his scarred cheek, making him look at you.

"I know I'm not as pretty I used to be..."

"Well, then it's a good thing I didn't fall for your pretty. I like your ugly, too. Wish you could see yourself from my point of view," you insist and kiss him, trying to convey all the mixed up feelings you're experiencing.

Maybe he saved you. Maybe he destroyed himself in the process. Maybe he has the power to destroy you, too. You don't care. Right or wrong, this is where you belong now.

"What do you want me to do with Chan?" Seonghwa asks after a while.

"Are you seriously saying you'd do whatever I asked of you?" you are still shocked to learn how much power you have over him...He may have full control of the Force, but right now, you have full control of him.

"Within limits," Seonghwa replies vaguely.

"Let him live," you reply cleverly. Despite everything that went down, you still care about Chan. Just as how you care about Seonghwa. Your feelings might be irrational. But they're yours. "He might be useful to you one day. Who knows? He might learn to see things from where we stand."

"We? And where would that be?"

"Like you said, Dark, Light...What difference does it make?" you smile at him.

"Hm. I knew you'd get it," Seonghwa embraces you, thinking you're joining his so-called Dark Side.

But there is no such thing. You're on your own side now. And after being lied to and betrayed to by those you considered your closest people, you realize the most important thing. In this Galaxy, you can only trust yourself.

And one day, just like how Seonghwa became stronger than his Master Chan, you are certain you will become stronger than Seonghwa. They both underestimate your power.

It will be their final mistake.

The End

[greyskyflowers]

A idea with a darker approach but...

I'd like to see something about Zoro bringing everyone on the crew a head at some point.

Zoro and Robin have no issue killing. I personally like the idea of them actually enjoying it. I personally feel that every ship and every crew needs a few bloodthirsty people.

Sanji and Franky will do so if absolutely necessary. What qualifies as necessary usually depends on the situation.

Luffy doesn't usually see a point in it, more than willing to beat someone down as many times as it takes for the lesson to sink in, but he has his fair share of blood on his hands.

The other crew members aren't supid, they know all this.

By this point they've all killed someone, on purpose or accident, it's more who stays up with nightmares from it.

Luffy makes them ask for things. Zoro is the same. Asking for someone to die is something you need to be able to give voice to, otherwise you don't want it enough.

He won't go on his own, he needs to hear it, but they've all pulled him aside before and asked, "please." In fear. In hatred. In anguish.

And Zoro hums lowly, and disappears in the shadows.

He still carries the title of hunter and there's a good reason for that.

It never takes him long before he's back, a bloody bag in his hand that drips along the deck but no one says anything. Luffy catches his eye and whatever passes between them stays between them.

He drops it at the feet of whoever asked for it, like a cat bringing their human a mouse.

That's it. There's nothing else to say or do. Zoro said he'd handle it, and he did.

Sometimes the only people who even know who's head is in the bag are Zoro and the person who asked. And probably Luffy, because he always seems to know everything Zoro does, and Robin because thinking she doesn't know would be an insult to her.

The bag gets tossed over the side once confirmed by the person who asked for it.

Franky makes a big show of cleaning up the blood with wails about birds shitting on his ship. He drags Usopp into helping and it doesn't usually take much for chaos to break out.

Chopper follows Zoro around until he finally lets the little doctor causally look him over for anything that may need attention.

Robin smiles at him behind a tea cup and Sanji calls him something insulting as he walks by but a bottle of sake and a snack always find their way over.

Luffy clings to him, as long as he's not hurt, and they speak to each other the way only they do, without words.

Nami quietly drops his debt down a little in her head and Brook plays something soothing.

~

The day will come when Zoro asks them. Not a single one of them will worry about blood on their hands.

~

~

Am I in love with the idea of morally grey strawhats? Yes

Do I think everyone is low-key terrified of the strawhats? Yes

Do I think everyone should be high-key terrified of the strawhats? Yes

[ilynpilled]

GRRM on morality, heroism, villainy, and parallax in ASOIAF:

Time magazine wrote of you, “What really distinguishes Martin and what marks him as a major force for evolution in fantasy is his refusal to embrace a vision of the world as a struggle between good and evil.” Do you agree?

I think the struggle between good and evil is central to fantasy and, indeed, in some ways, central to most fiction. It's certainly a worthy subject for fiction. But I regard the struggle between good and evil as being waged within the individual human heart. […] You know, the greatest monsters of history, as we look back on them, thought they were the heroes of the story. You know, the villain is the hero of the other side, as sometimes said. That doesn't mean that it's all morally relative. That doesn't mean that all things are equally good and evil. I think there is good and there is evil in the world. But you know, it's sometimes a struggle to tell one from the other and to make the right choices. I've always been attracted to great characters, maybe because that's what I see when I look around the real world, whether I read about it in history books or the news or just people I meet. I mean, all of us have it within ourselves to be heroes. All of us have it within ourselves to be villains. We've all done good things in our lives, and most of us have also done selfish things, cowardly things, things that we're ashamed of in later years. And to my mind, that's, I don't know, the glory of the human race. We're such wonderfully contradictory, mixed-up creatures that we're endlessly fascinating to write about and read about.

via

In your work, you have essentially captured Mikhail Bakhtin's concept of polyphonic fiction, where the characters are equal, and the reader can root for any of them. This has been impossible to convey on the TV series.

I wouldn't say all the characters are equal, but they have (hopefully) human traits, especially the viewpoint characters. I have seven viewpoint characters in the first book, and each book has a few more. So, by now, we're probably up to 12 or 13 viewpoint characters, and those are the ones where I go actually inside their skin, so you're seeing the world through their eyes. You're hearing their thoughts. You're feeling their emotions. And I try to paint over those viewpoint characters, and some of them are noble and just, and some of them are kind of selfish, and some of them are very intelligent, and some of them are less intelligent and even stupid. But they're all human, and I want to portray their humanity. […] I think the battle between good and evil is fought all over the world, every day, in the individual human heart, as we all struggle with the choices that define us and define our lives. And we have to choose what we are going to do, and sometimes the choice is not easy; it's not this absolute juxtaposition of the good guys and the bad guys. And I wanted to get to that with my characters, and show some of the difficulties that they face.

via

Another element I liked about the series was the moral relativism of many of the characters. Too many Fantasies rely on the shorthand of truly evil villains in the absolute moral sense, but your characters, while they might commit terrible acts, generally do so either from short-sighted self-interest or because they truly believe they are acting for the best. Was this a deliberate decision, or is it just more interesting to write this way?

Both. I have always found grey characters more interesting than those who are pure black and white. I have no qualms with the way that Tolkien handled Sauron, but in some ways The Lord of the Rings set an unfortunate example for the writers who were to follow. […] Before you can fight the war between good and evil, you need to determine which is which, and that's not always as easy as some Fantasists would have you believe.

via

Do you purposely start a character as bad so you can later kill them?

No. What is bad? Bad is a label. We are human beings with heroism and self-interest and avarice in us and any human is capable of great good or great wrong. In Poland a couple of weeks ago I was reading about the history of Auschwitz - there were startling interviews with the people there. The guards had done unthinkable atrocities, but these were ordinary people. What allowed them to do this kind of evil? Then you read accounts of acts of outrageous heroism, yet the people are criminals or swindlers, one crime or another, but when forced to make a choice they make a heroic choice. This is what fascinated me about the human animal.

via

Martin's realm is not one of unambiguous heroes and villains. His characters, from royals to peasants, tend to be ethically mutable. So-called good people, like the noblemen Ned Stark, his son Robb Stark or the indomitable Daenerys Targaryen ("the Mother of Dragons"), make terrible mistakes - out of weakness, pride or an overly rigid sense of right and wrong. And horrible people, like Jaime Lannister, known as "the Kingslayer," do terrible things and then, over the course of several books, reveal themselves to be capable of heroism and sacrifice.

As we're discussing this in the theater, Martin quotes Shakespeare's "Julius Caesar" from memory: “The evil that men do lives after them ;/ The good is oft interred with their bones.” Then he adds his own version: “We shouldn't forget about the evil that good men do. But we shouldn't forget about the good either,” he says. “I do think a society needs heroes. They don't have to be flawless.”

via

Your books have a very strong storyline associated with the atonement of sins. For example, the way of Jaime Lannister, do you yourself believe in karma?

I don’t believe in karma per se, although sometimes I have my doubts because sometimes I think I see things that could be explained by karma. But no, I don’t really have any beliefs in the supernatural. I do believe in the possibility of redemption. And I believe that human beings, all human beings, are grey. And I try to remember that when I write my characters. We are all heroes, we are all villains, we all have the capacity for great good and we all have the capacity to do things that are selfish and evil and wrong. Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference. In your lifetime, you can be both. And it’s making choices that defines us as human beings. There’s this sensation of compartmentalism. This eagerness to judge everybody based on the worst thing they ever did, not the best thing they ever did. And you know, I think Shakespeare in "Julius Caesar" wrote “The evil that men do lives after them ;/ The good is oft interred with their bones.” And sadly that’s true. And I think it should be the reverse. We should remember the good things and the noble things that people did, and forgive them for their failures and moments of selfishness or wrongdoing because we all have them. When we forgive them, we are essentially forgiving ourselves. Redemption should be possible.

via

Are there any characters that you've kind of fallen out of love with, that you just don't, you know, get excited about any more?

I still love all the characters. Even some of them who aren't very lovable. At least the viewpoint characters. When I'm writing in the viewpoint of one of these characters, I'm really inside their skin. So, you trying to see the world through their eyes to understand why they do the things they do. And we all have, even characters who are thought of to be bad guys, who are bad guys, in some objective sense, don't think of themselves as bad guys. […] “What evil can I do today?” Real people don't think that way. We all think we're heroes, we all think we're good guys. We have our rationalizations when we do bad things. “Well, I had no choice,” or “It's the best of several bad alternatives,” or “No it was actually good because God told me so,” or “I had to do it for my family.” We all have rationalizations for why we do shitty things or selfish things or cruel things. So when I'm writing from the viewpoint of one of my characters who has done these things, I try to have that in my head. And I do, so there's an empathy there that makes me love even people like Victarion Greyjoy, who is basically a dullard and a brute. But, he feels aggrieved and sees the world a certain way. And Jaime Lannister and Theon Greyjoy, they all have their own viewpoints. I love them all. Some I love more than others, I guess.

Who do you think to be the most important characters?

They're all important. I don't favor them, or I don't think of them in terms of importance. The viewpoint characters in the first book I have are Bran, Tyrion, Catelyn, Ned, Jon Snow, the two girls Arya and Sansa. There is the core of the Stark family plus Tyrion to represent the Lannister family. Then I have Dany on the other side of the sea, Daenerys Targaryen, whose story runs parallel and some ways doesn't connect to the others, but some day I'll eventually bring those two stories together. In each subsequent volume I drop some of my viewpoint characters and add new ones. Although the same core still dominates, the cast changes somewhat, and I like to do that. In the third volume which you haven't gotten to yet (he refers to me) I have a new viewpoint character. He's been a major character, but now you see things for the first time through his eyes. Which I think changes your perception of things somewhat. I like to play that kind of game, because we all have our own way of looking at the world. Something occurs and two people witness it. They might have very different versions of what happened, and very different explanations. I like to play with parallax in my fiction, and get different versions of the same thing.

via

A Song of Ice and Fire has much of the complex texture of authentic history, both generally and in its specific echoes of actual historical episodes. What laws and principles (if any) in your view govern human history, and how has your understanding of historical processes shaped the series?

Historical processes have never much interested me, but history is full of stories, full of triumph and tragedy and battles won and lost. It is the people who speak to me, the men and women who once lived and loved and dreamed and grieved, just as we do. Though some may have had crowns on their heads or blood on their hands, in the end they were not so different from you and me, and therein lies their fascination. I suppose I am still a believer in the now unfashionable "heroic" school, which says that history is shaped by individual men and women and the choices that they make, by deeds glorious and terrible. That is certainly the approach I have taken in A Song of Ice and Fire.

A Song of Ice and Fire undergoes a very interesting progression over its first three volumes, from a relatively clear scenario of Good (the Starks) fighting Evil (the Lannisters) to a much more ambiguous one, in which the Lannisters are much better understood, and moral certainties are less easily attainable. Are you deliberately defying the conventions and assumptions of neo-Tolkienian Fantasy here?

Guilty as charged. The battle between good and evil is a legitimate theme for a Fantasy (or for any work of fiction, for that matter), but in real life that battle is fought chiefly in the individual human heart. Too many contemporary Fantasies take the easy way out by externalizing the struggle, so the heroic protagonists need only smite the evil minions of the dark power to win the day. And you can tell the evil minions, because they're inevitably ugly and they all wear black. I wanted to stand much of that on its head. In real life, the hardest aspect of the battle between good and evil is determining which is which.

via

When you are writing the different conflicts in Westeros, do you personally pick a side? Or feel that one side fights for a more just cause than the other?

Yes, certainly. I mean, I’ve often said that I believe in grey characters, I don’t believe in black and white characters. But that’s not to say that all characters are equally grey. You know, some are very dark grey, and some are mostly white but they still have occasional flaws. I’ve always been fascinated by human beings and all of their complexity— even human beings that do appalling things, you know, the question is ‘Why?’ And it’s interesting to get inside their head and see why. Some of my viewpoint characters have done some incredibly reprehensible things: Theon, for example, or Victarion Greyjoy. Why? Were they born a monster? Weren’t they born like a cute little kid wanting to be loved and all that? We all start out that way, right? But things happen to us on the way that lead to junctures in our lives where we make decisions, and those decisions and the consequences of them color everything that comes after. You look at [historical figures] and what’s the verdict on these men? Are they heroes, are they villains? Are they great people, or people we should despise? I mean, they are fascinating characters because of their complexity.

via

“I don't concern myself over whether my characters are “likeable” or “sympathetic.” (I had my fill of that in television). My interest is in trying to make them real and human. If I can create a fully-fleshed three-dimensional character, some of my readers will like him/her, or some won't, and that's fine with me. That's the way real people react to real people in the real world, after all. Look at the range of opinions we get on politicans and movie stars. If EVERYONE likes a certain character, or hates him, that probably means he's made of cardboard. So I will let my readers decide who they like, admire, hate, pity, sympathize with, etc. The fact that characters like Sansa, Catelyn, Jaime, and Theon provoke such a wide range of reactions suggests to me that I have achieved my goal in making them human.”

via

“You want the reader to care about your characters — if they don’t, then there’s no emotional involvement. But at the same time, I want my characters to be nuanced, to be gray, to be human beings. I think human beings are all nuanced. There’s this tendency to want to make people into heroes and villains. And I think there are villains in real life and there are heroes in real life. But even the greatest heroes have flaws and do bad things, and even the greatest villains are capable of love and pain and occasionally have moments where you can feel sympathetic for them. As much as I love science fiction and fantasy and imaginative stuff, you always have to go back to real life as your touchstone and say, ‘What is the truth?’”

via

[fangirldreams101]

Coming Home pt. 7

DBF! Daryl, Rick, Shane & Negan x Reader

TW: Severe age-gap w/ older men, smut, consensual sex, handjobs/fingering, groping, some aggression, alcohol usage, piv (unwrapped, reader is on pill though), mentions of r*pe and m*rder (nothing actually happens though), goes from fluff to angst to smut, you chose the enter this emotional rollercoaster, they may be hot but they are hot with feelings, dub-con (technically consent is given, but its morally grey), oral (fem receiving）

Chapter Index

Throughout the rest of Negan's stay, you both became rather close. You gave him a proper tour of the small town you now called home and showed him all your favorite spots. He took you out on a few dates behind your dad's back, you both enjoying your time together. He loved to treat you after fucking your brains out, having you walk around without any panties so he could pull you into a dark corner and fuck you against the wall. He devoured every part of you that he could, it was like he wanted to memorize your body for when he would have to go back home. You had zero unrealistic expectations about your relationship, you were both just there for a good time until Negan had to fly back to Washington. He might not choose to take the job and you were not planning on getting tied down when you just started college anyway. But although you two were on the same page, it looked like some others did not get the memo.

Daryl shared what he saw the night of your birthday with Rick and Shane. Shane was just mad that someone got to you first, but Rick and Daryl were furious. How dare some dumb shit come in and fuck you when they couldn't? And then they had to see Negan parade you around like he just won himself the prized pony at the town fair. You were too innocent, too good for a man like Negan. Sure, they didn't know a thing about him, but they were more than certain they could treat you a million times better than he ever could. So they attempted to hatch various little schemes to make Negan look bad. However, none of them made it past the drawing board. The saying, 'the enemy of my enemy is my friend,' did not apply at all to them. They would end up bickering amongst themselves and not a single plan came to fruition.

Any semblance of a truce between the three of them broke one fateful night.

Your dad was out drinking with some coworkers and you were at home, working on schoolwork. Suddenly, you heard the doorbell ring. Cautiously, you crept down the stairs and looked through the peep hole to find out who it was. It was Rick, bloodshot eyes and messed up hair. You quickly unlocked and opened the door, worried about his mental state.

"Hey is everything ok," you questioned, eyebrows furrowed in concern.

His head shot up at the sound of your voice, clearly not expecting you to be the one to answer the door.

He didn't say anything which made you uneasy, so you lied about the whereabouts of your dad, "Were you looking for my dad? I can call him if you'd like."

He just stood there, looking at you. Honestly, it freaked you out, murder and rape statistics where the culprit is someone you know flashed through your head as you began to slowly backtrack on your words.

"How about you give me a second and I get my dad. He's upstairs, but it'll only take a second-," you began but Rick suddenly collapsed to his knees.

"Jesus! Rick, what's wrong," you cry out, running to his side.

His hands shoot out, pulling you into a rough kiss. Your body stills in shock, before struggling and pushing him away.

‘HEY," you yell, before softening your voice, "You are not in your right mind right now. Either you calm down and speak, or you leave."

Rick's bloodshot eyes began to tear up and you never thought you would see the day the man would be so vulnerable like this.

"Lori's takin' the kids," he shakily breathed out.

"Oh fuck," you gasped, "Oh god, Rick, I'm so sorry."

He buried his face into his hands and began to sob. Wrapping your arms around him, you pulled him into the house and led him to a couch. You sat down next to him, pulling a blanket over his shoulders as the poor man broke down. You just held him, allowing him to cry out all his frustrations onto your shoulder.

After a while, his cries slowed to a stop and he pulled away. You offered him some napkins to wipe his face and he did so.

You both sat in silence for a bit before you broke it, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not much to talk about," his voice was rough, guarded, as if he was disappointed in himself for letting you see him like this.

"Is there anything you would like me to do," you asked, your voice kind and gentle, and completely undeserving of the storm running through his head.

"Can I kiss ya," he asked.

"Rick...," you said hesitantly, "You didn't want anything to do with me before and I'm worried that you'll regret it if you do something now. I don't want to take advantage of what you're feeling right now.“

He leaned close to you, eyes pleading, "I swear 'm not gonna regret it. I need ya, darlin'. Please."

He leaned in and pressed his swollen lips to yours. You didn't kiss back but after a moment of him running his fingers into your hair, mumbling words of praise and desire, you gave in.

"As long as you are sure," you said between his kisses.

"'m sure, 'm so sure. Wanted ya for so long, darlin'. Ya got no idea, how hard its been," he groaned out.

"Woah, there cowboy, I got a bedroom y'know," you gave a small smile, pulling Rick up and walking him up to your room.

As soon as the door was closed, he was on you like an animal. Desperate kisses placed against your neck and hands wandering all over your body. You moaned in response, your own hands tugging at the buttons on his shirt. Prying your clothes off each other, you take a moment to appreciate the handsome man on top of you. He pressed himself into your neck growling at the sight of Negan's marks littering your body. He begins to suck and bite over them, as if he was trying to cover up any evidence that Negan had you. Your naked bodies tumbled onto the bed, hands groping and pulling at each others' flesh. Rick lifted your hips, moving down your body, placing kisses as he went.

You offered to take care of him instead, but he looked up at you with his big eyes and pleaded to let him do this. With a nod of confirmation, he dug his face into you, eating you out like a man starved. Low groans of appreciation left his lips, his eyes closing in bliss as he licked a long stripe up your lips. He began to suckle on your clit, causing you to flail at the pleasure. You panted and moaned loudly, Rick having to force your hips down lest you accidently kick him. You reached your peak quickly, waves of pleasure crashing over you but Rick turned it into a tsunami as he continued to finger your slick folds and circle your clit with his mouth.

"Rick, 's too much," you moaned out at the overstimulation, trying to push him away.

He looked like a man possessed, like not a single word you were saying was getting through to him. As you tried to move away, his grip on your hips tightened, leaving marks as he just tugged you ever closer to his face. He kept mumbling incoherent words, you only picking up, "so pretty," "all mine," and, "waited so long." The desperate, sinful phrases he uttered sent vibrations through you, reaching another crescendo as you came again.

"Rick," you cried out in a long-drawn out moan, "Please."

The man blinks, looking like he fell out of a trance. He pulls away, allowing you to slump down in relief.

"'m sorry, darlin'," he said, wiping the glisten off of his face, "You just tasted so good."

"It's okay," you panted, still trying to catch your breath.

Rick takes that as his cue to continue, and he surges forward, spreading your legs and rubbing the tip of his cock between your folds.

"Wai- oh," you moan out as Rick plunges into you with one hard thrust.

He's girthy, stretching you out despite all of the wetness on you. It takes your breath away, but feels amazing and you cling onto his shoulders, pulling him close.

Without hesitation, Rick begins to move, thrusting in and out of you at a harsh pace. Once again, he acts like a man possessed, violently humping you. He bites and sucks on your breasts, pinching and pulling on your nipples. He switches from thrusting to giving shallow thrusts while grinding against your clit. It's like he is trying to be as deep inside of you as he can. He halts his assault on your breasts, and wraps his arms around you, pulling you as close as possible.

In return, you wraps your legs around his hips, helping him reach deeper inside of you. You both moan out sweet nothings, words of empty affection and desire. Eventually, Rick grunts, pushing in deep and stilling, as white hot ribbons pulse out and line your walls.

As soon as he feels that every drop is in you, he slowly pulls out before quickly plugging you up with his fingers, causing you to cry out. He moves his head back down again, lapping at you while his fingers push his cum deeper inside. He tastes the mixture of you both and it makes him happy to know that there is such physical evidence of you together. You cry out one last time, lurching upwards as Rick helps you ride out your high. He finally pulls away completely and you let out a small laugh in absolute disbelief of how good that was.

"That good, huh, darlin'," Rick grinned and you nodded, reaching down to pull him in for a kiss.

You both relaxed into the bed, giddy and cuddled up next to each other.

After a bit of peace, you looked up at him, "Are you feeling better?"

He smiled, leaning down and kissing your forehead, "Much."

"Thank you," he murmured into your hair and you smiled, "Anytime."

The serenity you both created was broken by the sound of the door to the house closing and your dad's voice booming out, "Hi! I'm home!"

Whatever little pocket of peace, the temporary paradise you bestowed upon each other, was shattered with those three words. Rick rolled away from you like a man on fire, dropping to the ground in an effort to scramble for his clothes.

"Fuck," you whispered and the man muttered unholy mantras under his breath as he struggled to put his clothes on.

You put on a nightgown you owned and a robe, "Calm down. He doesn't come into my room without knocking and you left nothing downstairs that would be evidence you were here. You're going to have to wait for him to go to his room before you can slip out the door anyway."

You heard your dad call for you again as his footsteps were heard coming up the stairs and down the hall towards your room. You and Rick looked at each other in a panic.

"I can jump outta the window, a fracture never hurt nobody," he said, already pulling at the window.

Your dad knocked on the door, "Sweetie? Everything okay? Just got back from hanging with the guys."

You signaled to Rick to stop moving and to stay quiet, before calling back out to him, "Yeah everything's good! Just woke up from a nap is all! I'll be down in a sec!"

Your dad yawned, "No worries! Take your time too, think Imma take a shower 'n freshen up."

You could hear him move away from your door and towards the bathroom. Neither you nor Rick moved a hair until the sounds of the water rushing caused you to both sag in relief.

"Were you really about to jump out the window, just to avoid him," you quipped, quirking an eyebrow.

Rick did not look amused, "I really don't want to hurt him."

You put your hands up in a surrendering motion, you really didn't want to redo this conversation again, "Okay, okay. Let's get you out of here."

You poked your head out of the room, double checking that the coast was clear and then motioned for Rick to follow you. You guys climbed down the stairs and reached the front door. You both went out onto the porch and he began to move away.

Quickly, you grasped onto his arm, "You're not going to start treating me coldly again, are you?"

"Pretty sure it was you doin' that, darlin'," he chuckled, but stopped seeing your expression.

"You know what I mean," you pouted.

Rick sighed, before reaching down and pecking you on the head, "I do. And I won't."

You gave a bright smile, practically blinding him. Leaning up on your tiptoes, you planted a sweet kiss on his lips.

"I look forward to seein' you around, then."

Rick nodded, a slight blush covering his face, "Wouldn't miss it for the world, darlin'."

He stepped away, turning to watch you reenter the house before going back on his way home. Life kept draining him, but you kept him going like a solar-powered battery.

Next up:

"YOU DID WHAT TO MY KID?" Your dad roared.

Taglist:

@eternalrose81 @belaballs @lonely-girl2423 @thewitchesofart @theoraekenslover @raininhell @juleshaters @blackvelveteen1339

[flowerandblood]

The Taste of Shame (2)

[ dom!modern • Aemond x friend sister • female ]

[ warnings: doubts related to sex work, panic attack, remorse and depression, fluff, sexual tension ]

[ description: Aemond works as a professional dom, fulfilling the various fantasies of his female clients - however, he guards his privacy and does not enter into any relationships with them, recognizing that he does not want or need it. It turns out that what he wants and what he doesn’t no longer matter when he meets his friend’s younger sister for the first time. Slow burn, sexual tension, doubts related to sex work. ]

Series & Characters Moodboard Aemond NSFW Alphabet

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

Next chapters: Masterlist

_____

Walking to the lecture they talked about everything and nothing; for the most part, she was the one speaking, telling stories or asking questions, guiding her bike beside her by the handlebars, while he just added his thought or simply remained silent, listening to her.

They arrived at the Community Centre true to her word very quickly and indeed he immediately saw posters announcing that there would be free lectures by philosophers in the fields of contemporary ethics.

Robert's sister padlocked her bike in the designated area and they both went inside, following the signs. They entered a large, neo-classical hall with beautiful pillars and rich ornamentation on the ceiling, reminding him of a theatre or opera house.

They sat side by side on seats in one of the first rows − she explained to him that the presenter would be asking questions and, among others, her professor would be answering.

Indeed, the discussion was remarkably interesting and he caught himself drawn in; the men were talking among themselves about capital punishment, attitudes to the treatment of other humans and animals, warfare and human-wide conflicts.

However, he felt a cold sweat on his back and a tightness in his throat, his heart starting to pound like mad when the presenter asked the next question.

"As we know, a lot of young people start, as they say in modern times, sexworking − whether they show up on webcams or have sex for money. How do you, Professor, view this, do you think it's good for the psyche of such people? Is it morally right?"

The professor grunted and corrected his glasses with a slight hand gesture; he was a grey-haired, elderly man with a kindly, calm face.

"It depends on a number of factors. Firstly − what that young person's goal is. When we choose our job, we usually want more than just to earn money, most people's dream is to do things that fascinate them, that they are fulfilled in. Of course, people are also fulfilled in the sexual sphere with their partners, however, what happens when sexuality becomes a profession?

Well, in a way, two things are then combined that can be very destructive to the psyche − materliness and one's own body. At the same time, we make the decision ourselves, so it is not morally wrong if it involves two adults who agree to it, but there is an internal objectification, a selling of some part of our intimacy.

Of course, one can feel good about it. One may even like it. One should not tell such people that they are denying something, or say that they are selling themselves, that they are pricing their value. You see, it is not for us to judge. Everyone can do what they want with their body, it is their unquestionable right.

However, the danger arises when, underneath this materialistic approach, there is a desire for self-destruction, a desire to simultaneously dominate, to be in charge − I decide what happens to my body − and, at the same time, I desire to humiliate myself in my own eyes − I sell myself and I'm nothing, I don't want affection because I don't deserve it.

This issue is very complex and delicate, judging too quickly, especially by outsiders, will be even more hurtful to such people, a confirmation that they will never be loved and accepted, so they will be afraid to make sexuality emotional, which will lead to the opposite effect that we would all like."

The presenter nodded with understanding.

"If the professor were to state what it should look like in an ideal world, what would the professor say?"

The man laughed good-naturedly, stroking his white beard.

"I don't have an answer to that. I think that in an ideal world, the person who is made for us would be highlighted to us in green and those who hurt us in red. But we don't have that option. I think the fundamental mistake of every human being is to make judgements prematurely, instead of being willing to understand, to offer conversation, to support.

Calling someone a whore or a slut has never helped anyone, what's more, it only makes such people even more likely to have suicidal thoughts and be afraid to seek help when they feel they need it, because they are scared of revealing themselves to their parents or loved ones."

The presenter moved on to the next topic, but he heard nothing more, staring blankly at the floor, leaning forward so that his elbows were on his knees − he felt himself trembling all over, his eyes burning from the moisture that had gathered under his eyelids, his throat all clenched.

He felt her hand on his back and he shuddered, glancing over his shoulder at her with wide eyes − she was leaning over him worriedly, he could smell her pleasant scent again.

"Are you all right? Do you want to go out for some fresh air?" She asked frightened, clearly seeing how pale he was, and he nodded in embarrassment.

By the time they got outside it was completely dark; he reached with his shaking hand into the inside pocket of his leather jacket, taking out a cigarette and a lighter, firing it quickly and putting it into his mouth.

He felt her looking at him − they were standing in the square in front of the main entrance where there was no one but them, all around them was the loud hum of moving cars.

For some reason he felt desperate and miserable, weak, small; he clenched his eyes shut, shaking his head, trying to pull himself together. He sat down on the cold stone steps and she immediately sat down next to him, far too close.

He sighed when he felt her hand on his shoulder, stroking him gently, her warm breath on his cheek cool from the crisp evening air. He let out a loud puff of smoke with his lips, thinking only of how he had never let any woman touch him.

He placed his hand on hers, wanting to feel her for once, her skin soft as silk, exactly as he had imagined; he looked at her in pain, her eyebrows arched in worry, in incomprehension of what had actually happened.

"I'm selling myself." He said finally, desperate, and she blinked as if she didn't understand what she had just heard.

He took a drag again, not taking his eyes off her, and let the smoke out through his nose.

"I do all sorts of fucked up things to women for money and get satisfaction out of it, you know?" He asked in a low, trembling voice, feeling devastated how tears of shame one by one began to run down his face.

He felt himself shaking all over and thought he was an idiot, wondering how he could have said that to her. For some reason, he felt something inside him break.

He wanted her to know, to tell him she was disgusted with him, to look at him with that look full of reserve, to tell him it was nothing and just go away simply to let him finally stop thinking about her.

He saw her tighten her lips, her eyes turning red, her eyebrows arching in sorrow as if she was in pain as he was. He felt a pleasant shudder when her hand stroked gently through his hair as if he were a small child, and then she hugged her face to his cheek and simply remained silent.

She didn't say anything.

She stayed.

She wanted to comfort him.

Delighted at this revelation, he burst out into a quiet, mournful sob, leaned over and snuggled his face into her neck, wanting to hide from his own shame and remorse, from what she might think of him, from what he feared and could not forgive himself for.

Why did he have to be like this?

Why exactly did this give him fulfilment?

He sighed quietly as she put her arms around him and hugged him, her soft hand stroking his cheek with gentle, slow movements, her face nestled against his hair and placing a gentle kiss on it.

"You didn't do anything wrong." She whispered finally; he swallowed hard, rubbing the tip of his nose against her neck, brushing his lips gently against her bare skin, again, and then again.

He felt her tremble and tighten her hands on his leather jacket, his manhood in his trousers completely hard.

He had no idea what had just happened between them, but he didn't want to stop.

After a moment, as his emotions left him he realised what he had done.

That he had told a complete stranger about who he was, revealed to her his darkest secret.

This thought made him panic − he got up abruptly and mumbled through his tears that he would go home already, that he apologised to her for everything, not listening to her pleas to wait for her, running quickly down the stone stairs, walking ahead.

He looked over his shoulder as he turned into the corner of the next street and noticed with some kind of disappointment that she was not following him.

He burst out into uncontrollable sobs for the second time once he had locked himself in his car having complete chaos in his head, feeling that he was going through some kind of panic attack.

He thought that until he'd met her he hadn't felt this way, that the idea that he couldn't date her because of what he'd done made him start to regret it all.

What was he supposed to do now?

He reached for his phone hearing it vibrate and unlocked it quickly seeing as many as three new messages from her.

He clenched his eyelids, dropping his phone on the other seat, hiding his face in his hands.

He needed to calm down.

He sat like that for a few minutes in silence, not thinking about anything, just breathing, and then he drove home as if nothing had happened.

He entered his flat, took a shower, ate something and then turned on the TV, all mechanical, completely empty; he shuddered when he got a new message, reaching uncertainly for his phone and felt an unpleasant twinge in his stomach when he saw it was one of his clients.

She wanted to meet the next day.

No, he thought.

I don't want to.

He wrote her back that he was taking a break from it all for a while.

He was infuriated when she started texting him to tell him not to do it, that she needed him, that meeting him made her want to go on living.

He slammed his phone furiously into the wall.

What about what he fucking needed?

When he picked it up after several minutes he found that it worked despite the cracked screen.

He accessed the last messages he'd received from Robert's sister and began typing quickly to her on his phone's keypad.

He pressed his lips together when he saw that she immediately displayed his message, a bubble popped up in his app window indicating that she had just written back to him.

He swallowed loudly, writing her back without thinking, without controlling himself, allowing himself to shamelessly write her exactly what was in his head.

He stared at the screen with a pounding heart, wondering whether to do it or not, walking restlessly around his living room with his phone in his hands − he typed out the answer slowly, feeling that he was hot.

She didn't reply for a long time even though he could see that she had displayed his message.

He squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head, laughing despairingly under his breath, not believing how desperate he was.

He'd known it from the moment he'd seen her, when she'd gotten off that fucking bike and looked at him with those big, innocent eyes of hers.

He stood looking at her message as if stupefied, reading it again and again, unable to believe it, feeling like he was about to die from the arousal and heat he felt in his chest, his fingers trembling as he tapped out his reply to her.

And so she did.

He didn't dare propose to meet her alone, knowing how that would have gone down on his part.

He didn't want to scare her off.

However, they wrote with each other for days, even during his classes; Criston and Robert laughed at him for having a girlfriend and not even wanting to introduce her to them.

He didn't care.

She was the first person he told about how it all started, what he felt when he did it, what aroused him and what repulsed him about it all.

She listened to him and answered him with sincere concern and worry, without judging him, without pretending it was a simple and obvious subject, giving him a sense of comfort and understanding.

He made it clear to her that he had refrained from any contact with strange women for the time being.

He licked his lower lip as he lay back in his bed, writing her off quickly.

He swallowed hard when she wrote him back after a moment.

He felt a squeeze in his heart at her words, some kind of pain that she thought of herself that way, that she saw herself as just another person he wanted to take out on.

He chuckled involuntarily, typing back a quick response to her question.

He blinked, looking at his screen with a pounding heart, not believing what he read.

______

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