#i would prefer the first one so its actually playable

[sylensombrr]

I know it's a bit of a stretch but with epic mickey getting remastered....

🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯SPECTROBES REMASTERED MANIFESTING🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯🕯

[thefirstknife]

I know it may not be the most popular of opinions, but for me the "hard reset" and lack of content would actually be the *appeal* of a Destiny 3. Give us a brand new major story arc, give us new characters (the old could feature but focus attention on new ones), have us create an entirely new Guardian--total reset. (They could have new races, too--playable Hive Guardians! Okay yes I just wanna have a playable Eliksni Guardian that would be so fun). Current D2 content is... Honestly kind of overwhelming. Sometimes. Fresh slate with less content that the build back up would appeal to me a lot. I know they're not interested in doing so at this time, and I respect their preference to keep supporting D2 instead (especially given how many players WOULD throw a fit over the hard reset and lack of content), but I've definitely put in a lot of thought to what a D3 would mean and the big "negatives" are huge draws for me. (Especially if they kept the D1 and D2 servers online so people would have all that content at the ready to go back and play)

I totally understand that! The concept of there being D3 is really interesting and I think it's really neat to talk about possibilities!

There's definitely some appeal in this for me as well, but I think that unfortunately most of the other issues would vastly overshadow this feeling of getting to start fresh. I'm not too bothered with a lack of content overall but I don't think a lot of people truly understand how much of a lack it would be. We're so used to so much stuff to the point of it being overwhelming, but a full restart would be quite the shock.

I think some middle ground would be nice, but even when they did that (in BL, after initial vaulting), people were.... very mad. A lot of people were fine as well, and it's hard to judge because of the very vocal fans and content creators, but to this day people are still seething about how "bad" BL was because of all the stuff that was removed, despite the fact that a lot of stuff was also added.

If you've not been there during release of D1 and D2, it's hard to really imagine what the game looked like and played like, but these are completely unimaginable differences. I can't speak for D1, but vanilla D2 in comparison with even just a year after is an entirely different game. Basically, it would be a gigantic risk to do this, on top of splitting the community, and hope that maybe this time around people will accept a lack of content with the promise that in a few years there will be more. On paper it sounds reasonable, because it is, but unfortunately gamers aren't reasonable. We're currently witnessing this as well with people absolutely losing their minds about the possibility that for the next year or two or whatever we'll have smaller updates. This is very strange coming from these people because if we truly want D3 and for it to launch better than vanilla D1 and vanilla D2, then we'd have to let the devs work on that for years and not be occupied making constant huge updates for D2. More under:

Also! I know we would all love other playable races and that's definitely a big dream, but it will never happen as long as there's pvp in the game. Because of the hitboxes in pvp. As in, if they made playable Eliksni and Hive, they would be bigger than normal Guardians and it would not be possible to integrate them into pvp because of the natural disadvantage of having a bigger hitbox. Maybe if they did it in a way that genuinely just did not allow them into pvp modes, but that would be strange. The hitbox issue would also be a problem elsewhere too, even in pve. This is the most basic problem with this idea and a very difficult one to solve when the game is a first person shooter at its core. Other playable characters would be such a cool thing in Destiny though.

In a way, a lot of what we want can be done in the current game if the devs had time to work on a lot of fundamental changes and updates to the base game. It's just really difficult to do. They would probably need a dedicated year or more to do this, during which we wouldn't be able to get many updates. And this is less requirements than making a new game from scratch and risk a lot in the process.

I'm also wondering if both D1 and D2 could be kept around if they added a D3 as well. I feel like one of the old games would probably be shut down. This is definitely not possible with the reduced workforce, so unless they expand the studio again in the future, I don't think, realistically, we could get any of the positives with D3.

It's a discussion worth having for sure. Unfortunately it's dominated by the weird gamer bros and I genuinely don't think they understand anything about video games. There's this idea that "D3 would fix everything" and I simply don't understand what they're talking about because the same people are also the ones crying about content droughts, sunsetting, hit-and-miss features and activities and so on. And launching a brand new game would contain absolutely everything these people complain about every day. I've seen them also saying stuff like "I'd be okay with D3 if they don't make us repeat collecting everything again." And like. That's exactly what will happen. Do they think items will just be in their vault? No, we'll have missions again to re-earn the same exotics for the 5th time, just spaced out by years and then they'll be mad about how nothing new is being made and they're just reusing assets or whatever.

They could always just do a complete and total fresh start: nothing old is ever returned. No armour, no weapons, nothing. But people underestimate how much they'd miss their old builds and old options, and how new ones might end up not clicking with them all that much, but this time they wouldn't have anything old to fall back to. You know when a new weapon or exotic armour releases and they're brand new concepts? And they end up not really being something you connect to? You try it out, go "eh" and return to your old stuff? Imagine that but without the ability to go back to the old stuff. The idea of it is is exciting, but in execution it doesn't really work most of the time.

There's a lot of interesting angles when considering a potential new game, but I feel like at the end of the day, it's too big of an endeavour with a lot of very real risks that makes the whole thing not worth the effort. If anything, to make D3 into this perfect dream game right from the start, they would 100% need to just work on that for the next 5 years and we'd have to accept even fewer updates (if any) to D2 in the meantime. Otherwise we'll be in the same situation as with D2 launch and I know a lot of people don't remember or weren't there, but vanilla D2 was actually for real a time when Destiny almost died.

It's definitely something cool to speculate about, I just wish the weird gamers out there weren't completely hijacking this option while also doing everything in their power to tell devs that they have zero patience to wait for a good product, and that they can't survive 3 days without new content. Because that's just reinforcing the inherent risks with making a new game, on top of all the other risks involved and the potential that people will just not be willing to move away from what they've been collecting for years.

[saecoyle]

spoilers warnings // opinion abt the first part

what I like :

Penelope being an absolute sweetheart and terribly socially akward but not being turned ridiculed, like a lot of "not-like-other-girls" fiction. Penelope is different than the ton as she's not sticking out but she makes it clear that she is a very common girl in her wants and desire, that she is just more introverted and has had less help from her family.

Her relationship with her mom getting deeper as well as their conflict. Love that!

Francesca being a really agreable character and her silent affection towards John is adorable. Definitly looking for more of them in the second part.

I actually enjoy the subplot of both Eloïse and Cressida, the season is really centering on the cracks of the ton's idea of normalcy before going further than the Londonian society in others books which is a great thing. It adresses that in an universe like Bridgerton there's a difficulty for the young misses in market to bond and form friendship because they're in constant competition, but also it doesn't take away the flaws of each-characters, making them whole. The three girls does not only compete with themselves but they also envy each one thing for each-other and are blind to the other person's issue, but at the end of the day the ton ends up being an issue for all of them in one way or another.

Violette and Agatha's brother, very cute, love their different views on marriage and their equal love for their children.

Colin is actually not a non-playable-character! Still feels a lil bit uncomplete to me but hey, it's only four episodes, it might come as well. I do really empathize with him with his awkwardness in episode three and four and hope for more as for later. Also they need to get him a more fluffy wig in the sense that : episode 3 with the wind, thank you.

what I disliked :

The constant threesomes (okay, only two) but I don't like lesbianism being used as porn content for men, even though if it means what it means (Colin is not content with one sexual or romantic partner if it's not Pen ect ect…) as a lesbian it is still icky to me. (Also I know that the few mlm scenes we've had caters to 'everyone' because straight women tends to love gay men but they're also more deeper than sex workers having to shag in front of rich nobles.)

The part 2 teaser, in genereal the fact that L.W will be revealed in this season and that the main conflict will be Penelope lying to Colin. But it's mostly because I've read the books and I hold Penelope and her work's dear in my heart I have issues about how it was handled. Personal preferences I guess.

Benedict's plot, not interesting, love the actress (very pretty) but in general I feel like theyre running in circles with him to keep the hype until they've made all their seasons and then his. Just not interested in it.

THAT half moment in the carriage scene where Pen tries to put her hands in his hair but it feels very weird bc in the book I felt it as unconcious and passionate and his hair being so stiff + the weird look turned me off so bad…sorry I know a lot of people like that scene in its entirety but it's the only part I had issues with.

I'm sad that we don't get news on Queen Charlotte's family situation bc it really intrigued me, I'm not surprised that the universe feels kind of flat.

things I am neutral about :

Kanthony not being that present, well it's not their seasons! I always have issues with ennemies turned lovers in the sense that they become boring very fast if theyre straight ((sorry)) and I do like them so I'm glad I didn't have the time to get bored by them, it also means more Francesca plot, more Creloise so I am truly fine with it.

The Mondrich getting nobles traits, I just wished it focused on the son too. Maybe about how pressured he would be as a young guy, ect, but there's still time.

Oh and it took me a MOMENT to understand the logistic of him f*ngering her, at first I thought he was just pleasing her outside and I was like "but the logistic? does he just gets out of the carriage with wet fingers and goes tell his mom he's getting married?" But it seems that yes. So… Okay.

The pregnancy race, idk it just feels obvious that Pen at the end of the day might win bc one will have a girl or one will be too late ect… I do find the commentaries about sexuality funny, and if it means more Finch and Philippa I'm fine with it.

general opinion for now :

I have been warmed up to be hyped by the season for a while now so there is not a real surprise that i'm appreciating the main romance as they're the only one I read the book and had seen across fandom in laws. Now the four next episode can make it more than great or sadly make my appreciation downgrade, it'll be a different experience that I've had with the other seasons bc I binged all of it and only had a overall opinion on the entirety of the show. Looking for the rest!

[whit-doodle]

Path of Titans is one of those games that people either seem to love or they hate. There doesn't seem to be a middle ground for most people. For me, I find the game quite enjoyable.

It's one of the few games I actually bought the day it released on console. Even as an adult, I never outgrew my childhood "dinosaur phase" so I was ecstatic when I first found out about it.

The changes and improvements the devs at Alderon Games have made since its release have been astounding, honestly. Yes, there are things that definitely need to be worked on, but overall, it's really not as bad of a game as many people would want others to believe.

Plus, one of my favorite things about it is the cross-platform playability. The game is available on console, PC, Switch, and Mobile so unless you have cross-platform settings turned off, you'll find players from every device in a server. And kudos to those who only play on mobile because I have no idea how they do it. I have tried but I much prefer my Xbox and a controller.

One of my favorite dinos to play is the Amargasaurus. I lovingly refer to mine as the "walking buffet" because it's an instant target when spotted by carnivores. This is as screenshot from a couple nights ago. That Ceratosaurus followed me and let his buddies know where I was. In the end, 3 Ceratosaurus, 1 Sarcosuchus, and 1 Spinosaurus were needed to take down my Amargasaurus. I honestly laughed the entire time because 1) I am terrible at PvP and 2) The Spino was called in for backup because the rest of them couldn't take down my Amargasaurus.

I flew over Impact Crater on my Thalassodromeus, and the Hatzegopteryx was so high up I didn't even know it was there until it nearly knocked me right out of the sky. I flew for my life, but alas, my poor little Thal didn't stand a chance after the initial hit. I had just been passing through to see what was happening in IC because it's always either a bloodbath or everyone is gathered around the pond just chilling.

I don't know what it was with Ceratosaurus players the other night, but I ended up switching from Gondwa to the Panjura map after my Amargasaurus got taken out. I was in the server maybe 5 minutes before this Cerato in the background tried to make a meal out of my Latenivenatrix. They failed after I was able to outrun them, but I give them an A for effort.

Path of Titans is one of those games where people do get frustrated due to how many times they're targeted by other players. Global chat can be full of toxicity and sweaty PvP players. Then there are days where you'll find a large group of players hanging out in Hotspots, just chilling and chatting in global.

I personally don't mind being targeted by other players. It's a PvP game after all where the end goal is literally make it to adulthood then see how long you can last.

[ai-the-broccoli]

The Resignation and Resistance of Yukika Nanase, an analysis

Last Friday (September 29th, 2023) was the 15th of the Eighth Month in the lunar calendar, which is the date of the Mid-Autumn Festival/Chuseok/Tết Trung Thu/Tsukimi/Uposatha, festivals strongly associated with the autumn moon in Asian countries.

Since I happened to have some ThoughtsTM and writings on Yukika Nanase (whose release event, "Otsukimi is After an Elegant Tea Party" was about, well, [O]tsukimi, and who's got a lot to do with Yukika in general), I thought this might be a really good excuse for me to finally officially begin posting on Tumblr! So...

Here is the first one out of a few (perhaps?): a little something I first wrote earlier this year, though now refined, organized, and extended by... maybe over 5 times its original length, for posting on here.

(official CG of the full moon, as it's depicted in the Yukika-narrated event Otsukimi. why exactly there is a rainbow around it is solely up to interpretation)

You may or may not be aware that Yukika Nanase is one of my favorite characters and main blorbos in Magia Record, and while I'm sure personal preference (and her being Relatable™️ for me) counts for a good part of it as it usually does, I would personally argue that she is also just an exceptionally intriguing character in general.

Typically, the fandom at large seems to view Yukika as a daredevil ojou-sama of sorts and some thrill-seeking gambler (and a character that her designer Masugitsune really likes), etc, etc. Now, it's clear where that image comes from, and by no means is it totally off either, but once you really get around to watching or reading any of her stories, you basically immediately see an entirely different side to her than what you might've assumed from her fandom reputation. almost like... the back side of the moon, so to speak

Now, in the canon story content itself, Yukika is often treated as a somewhat comedic character by the narrative, especially in stories where she's not the main protagonist. By no means is this a complaint or a criticism: Elements of comedy don't make a character any less well-written (unless said comedy is implemented in a way that's ineffective or distracting, but that's another matter entirely), and with Yukika in particular I've found that she often works with comedy excellently.

Besides, the fact she often has a comedic-ish role is largely in line with (and partly because of) Yukika's own extremely effacing perception and framing of herself—however, it also makes it quite easy for one to simply completely overlook her own emotional complexities and problems, both in-universe and among fans in the community. Which is fair, even she herself does it! ...But I do want to draw attention to it here, since it's an aspect of her that's quite interesting to me.

So today I'm going to talk about... Yukika's fatalistic mindset and her mental health.

Long informal analysis under the cut:

[cw: major spoilers for most Yukika-related stories, vague reference to Ashen Revolution's themes and motifs (nothing actually spoilery aside from AR's short very first opening section, which will be directly quoted), clinical discussion of mental health issues, mention of addiction]

A Magical Girl who has lived without ever straying from the rails laid out for her since childhood. Raised as a young lady, she is able to handle everything with ease, but her self-esteem is extremely low because of all the talented ladies who surround her. Though she was fed up with the boring life she was leading, her life has taken a sharp turn since she became a Magical Girl, and now she is constantly caught up in trouble.

Yukika's Extraordinary Everyday Life

If you're already familiar with any of her canon stories (or have read her official character description above), you must know that Yukika's "main thing" is that she's always involved in all kinds of trouble on an extremely frequent basis.

Like almost any other playable character in MR, she has her moments™️ (and, the fact that she is in constant stress and anxiety due to the passive effect of her wish; when nothing is wrong she keeps worrying something is about to go wrong in no time and she apologizes for it in advance, and when something is wrong, she blames herself for no matter what it is and tries to take responsibility at top speed), but overall Yukika seems generally surprisingly "fine" as in, we pretty much never see her get into any particularly negative emotional outbursts over anything, at all. Despite all the troublesome situations that she never stops finding herself in, she seems decently adjusted and stable (that is, "stable" on the grand scale of things, since everyday instability is her stability), at least among the MR girls we know.

But when you look into why that is the case, you'll kind of see that it's because Yukika actually has her own unique sense of a fatalistic mindset—in that, typically speaking, (there are some notable exceptions, such as when she made her wish) she completely accepts the state of herself and the state of her life as they are, even though they are by no means what she genuinely sees as ideal.

For instance:

[Though with all that said, I am, so to speak, in the role of "Villager A". - Yukika]

Yukika: (As I was one of many “Black Feathers”...) Yukika: (I didn't have any desire to advance and become a White Feather someday.) Yukika: (Because those White Feathers who manage the Black Feathers are more suited to shining...) Yukika: Yes, like the pride of Mizuna Girls Academy, Akatsuki Tsukuyo-senpai…! Yukika: Even in Mizuna Ward, where many wealthy families produce polished children, Akatsuki-senpai is a genuine charm... Yukika: ...Just like the full moon. Yukika: (While I get saddled with Student Council Officer duty almost every year because I seem "sort of" ladylike, whatever that means...) Yukika: (Akatsuki-senpai has an aura leagues above mine.)

she looks weirdly happy in the last two (pretty self-deprecatory) lines here and then goes on to talk about how her presence is so faint that Akatsuki-senpai still doesn't know she's a Magical Girl yet, whi— ANYWAY I digress

From this early part of Otsukimi, we see that Yukika has a crush on Tsukuyo (for legal reasons this is completely? a joke) a pretty set idea of what her "role" in this world is supposed to be (i.e. she has a "fixed mindset", as some may call it, as opposed to a "growth" one), and that is the role of a "Villager A"—basically meaning an NPC character, to put it in more common terms.

Yukika: (Looking for a substitute for Akatsuki-senpai and being mistaken for Akatsuki-senpai…) Yukika: (Despite her absence from beginning to end, she's got the sense of presence of a true protagonist!) Yukika: (It's getting more impossible by the second for a minor role like me to pretend to be her...)

And this attitude is very telling of her outlook on life as a whole.

Student Council President: That’s right. Will you accept? Yukika: Please leave it to me. Yukika: Our already-busy President shouldn't have to deal with this kind of hassle. Yukika: As the lowliest Student Council Officer, I think that I'm the right person for the job. Girl A: ...Oh, I’ll help you too! Student Council President: Thank you, it’ll be a huge help. Yukika: By "the lowliest Student Council Officer", I mean the Student Council Chore Officer, of which one is selected from each class. Yukika: My job is to gracefully prepare the tea in the student council room, help pour the tea for the exchange parties, and so on. Yukika: ...That's a tremendously misleading description, of course. Yukika: But in short, since it's hardly comparable to the Student Council President, who's elected by the whole school, and the Class President, who's elected from her class's honor students... Yukika: The job naturally gets foisted on me, the vaguely cultured-ish girl with no aura and hardly any presence!

From her rank in the Wing of the Magius as a "lowly Black Feather", to her duty in the student council as the "Student Council Chore Officer", Yukika views her roles and positions of insignificance as essentially predetermined things that she—as a self-perceived NPC figure—is simply matched for by nature; and she never even considers the idea of breaking out of this status quo, because, to her, it is simply a fact of life.

and you may notice this in the way Yukika presents/frames things—anything—in general, too; she's basically got an attitude of "ah well, of course, things are how they are; now let me deal with it so it doesn't trouble anyone else" toward basically everything, ever.

This brings me to my next point...

A Bunny Caught in the Tracks of Orbit

Yukika: Speaking of the moon, I used to wonder when I was a kid... Yukika: When the moon faces the Earth, it only shows the side with the rabbit and its mochi. Yukika: Why doesn’t it show the “other face” on it’s back? Yukika: According to my physics teacher, this is because the moon’s cycle of “revolution” and “rotation” is the same. Yukika: It’s apparently quite common in space. Yukika: (I don’t know what the standard of “common” is in space, but...) Yukika: Ah... I am Yukika Nanase, a first-year student at Mizuna's Girls Academy and a Magical Girl. Yukika: Yes, I am one of those who reluctantly set foot into the world of Magical Girls— Yukika: the "other side" of common sense, that most people will live their lives without ever knowing.

(excerpt from the start of Otsukimi, slightly condensed for format)

It is very clear from Yukika's Magical Girl attire that she's associated with rabbits/bunnies—partly for the casino aesthetics, partly for the Alice's Adventures in Wonderland reference, and partly because of the Moon, which is heavily associated with rabbits in Japanese culture. Namely, there is the legend of the moon rabbit, a mythical creature said to live on the moon, as Yukika herself references in the excerpt above.

Now, the next part is going to look like a bit of a stretch if taken to be actual speculation of canon, but to be clear that is not my intention; it is merely a connection I made/similarity I noticed, and I figured it would be interesting to bring up.

(...Actually that does remind me, I should probably clarify here that this entire analysis is, in fact, of my own personal interpretations of the content presented in the game itself, rather than what I theorize to be the deliberate intention of the writers.)

With that out of the way, let's look at the opening section of Ashen Revolution:

Rabi: We can never stop the never-ending movement of the starry sky. Urara: However much I practice, I can never defy the gravitational pull drawing the diabolo. Alexandra: No matter how much I raise my voice, without this atmosphere, my melody will never resonate. Asahi: Yes, we are forever under the control of the unseen. Asahi: Like this rabbit, it lost its life at the hands of my unseen self. Asahi: Everything is made by the natural order, and being at the mercy of it is a fate we must resign ourselves to...

I won't go into details about AR here since on a technical level Yukika is entirely unrelated to it, but it is an event about the struggle of Magical Girls, who help people in secret but remain completely unknown, unacknowledged, and not understood. Which...

compare Yukika's previously quoted monologue, in which she compares the world of Magical Girls, which "most people will live their lives without ever knowing", to the backside of the moon.

Coincidentally, Yukika's own character is also all about helping people in the background and never ever being acknowledged (to a higher degree than the average MR girl). Relatedly, she also notably possesses a level of figurative invisibility/unseenness similar to the AR girls, through her entire recurring "faint presence" thing.

So, as seen in the AR excerpt above, the rabbit motif is used to demonstrate their helplessness in the hands of fate—or in their specific case, "fate" as in what they perceive to be the "Will of the Universe".

Well, funnily enough…

[Yes, I believe it's all due to the Great and Terrible Will of the Universe... - Yukika]

Yukika: (Here it is, the new hassle..!) Yukika: (The schedule has returned to a blank slate…) Yukika: (Rather, things have actually gotten worse thanks to the passage of time.) Yukika: (How can I put this? It’s as if...) Yukika: (It's as if some great and terrible will of the universe is at work,) Yukika: (and is specifically targeting me and creating trouble.)

…alright, so this is 99.1% a coincidence, especially because the two terms don’t use the same word for “will of the universe” in the original Japanese text, but it’s pretty crazy nonetheless.

In any case, the themes of fate and fortune are indeed actually heavily featured in Yukika’s own character. There’s her gambling motif as seen in her story, design, and gameplay alike, and her entire “keeps getting caught up in troublesome matters” thing, which is the result of her wish.

And how does she see it?

Girl A: Wouldn’t that mean you’d have more work? Yukika: Please don’t worry. Yukika: Dealing with trouble is my fate. Girl A: …Fate? Yukika: Ah, nothing! Let’s hurry! Girl A: Yeah, got it! Yukika: (Yes, I am involved in trouble on a daily basis.) Yukika: (It’s the “fate” that has been decided for me ever since I became a Magical Girl.)

"Fate". Once again, we see a certain degree of fatalism in Yukika's worldview, especially in regard to herself. Rather than a choice she's made on her own, she sees her behavior/self-imposed duty of helping everyone out as the luck of the draw, something that is "decided for" her.

And this part is extremely significant because it offers us a particularly revealing look into her mindset:

The truth is, in spite of everything she goes out of her way to do daily in order to resolve trouble and help/save other people, without actually being forced to do any of that by anything or anyone, Yukika sees literally all of those actions as passive acts rather than something she's doing out of her own free will (and isn't actually obliged to do, really)—because, no matter what she does she only thinks of it as the predetermined consequences of her own choice, for these issues are always the fault of the wish she personally made (or so she thinks), thus the responsibility to resolve them naturally always falls on her shoulder, which is why there's really never anything to brag about about this, according to Yukika.

As for why and how she made such a wish in the first place, that is explained to us in her MSS:

Yukika: …I do think that I was blessed in many ways during my upbringing. Yukika: But one day, um… In spite of all that luxury, Yukika: when I thought of how from then on, rather than moving forward with my own strength, Yukika: I would instead be riding the train toward the future on the tracks built by my parents, Yukika: I started to feel like I wasn’t really “living” at all…

Not necessarily relevant, but for a bit of a linguistic context, the word for “tracks” (in the sense of “rails; train tracks”) and the word meaning “orbit” (as in the trajectory of a celestial body around another; the curved course of a satellite) is the same word in Japanese (and various other languages. Which makes sense, since even the English term “orbit” was derived from the Latin word “orbita” meaning “tracks; course”); hence my title for this section. anyway this ties into the motif of gravity as seen in Urara's line above

Very interestingly, the original line here too explicitly uses train and train track imagery as a metaphor for the course of life and fate, similar to how it's used to symbolize these things in Kenji Miyazawa's The Night on the Galactic Railroad, and by extension Magia Record, which takes a lot from Miyazawa's works.

Speaking of which, that brings us to our next, largest, and final section...

A Thin Ice Between Life and Death

buckle up guys, it's got three parts

Pt. 1. The Rabbit with a Death Wish

Earlier on, I said Yukika accepts her life as-is, but really, she also fully accepts her death as-is. While her heart does desire to feel "alive", and it is for that, rather than any active desire to actually die, that she longs to be at the brink of death, it is... actually a bit worrying, how little she feels like she has to live for.

Well, let's look at the part in Otsukimi when she thought she was going to die to the powerful Witch:

Yukika: (Ah… There’s blood coming from my mouth. This is called hematemesis, right?) Yukika: (I'm... definitely a goner at this point.) Yukika: (But despite that... No, maybe because of that...?) Yukika: (My head's perfectly clear, and I'm getting tons of adrenaline.) Yukika: (Way more than when I bet all of the coins I have…) Yukika: (I feel like I’m alive!) Yukika: Hehe... Yukika: (...Wow. I must be kind of crazy.) Nanny Witch: …………!! Yukika: Kwaah…!! Yukika: Hehehe... I've got plenty where that came from! Yukika: ...Is what I'd like to boast right now. Yukika: But my battery is dead. [the image of Hotori and Rion flashes before her eyes] Yukika: (I’m going to die without being able to do anything…) Yukika: (I wonder if that unknown White Feather felt the same chagrin…) [the image of Hotori and Rion flashes before her eyes] Yukika: I’m sorry… Yukika: I won’t be seeing you two at the moon viewing party. Yukika: .............

...maybe it's just me, but it strikes me as unusual and almost alarming how little she seems to feel like she has to live for, you know? Like, Rion and Hotori are a pair of girls who she literally just met this afternoon. And they (and her not being able to defeat this threat on other people's lives) are somehow her biggest regrets.

And like, Yukika isn't just like this here. Whether you say it's for thrills or for other people's sake (it's usually initially the latter with the extra bonus of the former sometimes), she never even hesitates to put her life on the line. It's kind of sad, really.

This makes sense, though; this sort of attitude tracks perfectly with the abysmally low value she attributes to herself and her existence (again, in her eyes, she is literally just the most basic NPC ever, and who cares about what happens to a random NPC? well actually several people in this fandom do care, including me, but it's not like Yukika Nanase would know that).

In fact, let's look at the legend about the moon rabbit that I mentioned earlier. A quick online search would tell you that it's a mythical figure in East Asian and indigenous American folklore, based on pareidolic interpretations that identify the dark markings on the near side of the Moon as a hare or rabbit

As a side note, this is (accidentally?) fitting in the context of her own perceived "lowliness" (+ faint presence and all) against Tsukuyo's full moon-like brilliance... but I should probably leave that for another analysis oops (assuming I ever write one)

who (in East Asian folklore) pounds the elixir of life (according to Chinese and Vietnamese interpretations), or rice cakes such as the mochi (Japanese and Korean interpretations).

But how come the Moon Rabbit arrived on the Moon?

There's a story behind it that originates from Tale 316 of the Buddhist Jataka tales, and a derived version of it appears in the Japanese anthology, Konjaku Monogatarishū.

According to the Japanese folklore:

The rabbit, as well as the hare, have long been associated with moon deities, and may signify rebirth or resurrection. According to legend, an old man who lived on the moon decided to visit Earth. A group of animals saw what they thought was an old beggar who was starving. “Poor beggar, he looks hungry and has no food. Let us give him some food”. First, the monkey plucked some fruit from the trees. He brought the fruits and laid them in front of the old beggar. Next, the otter collected some fish and brought it to the old beggar. The jackal was too lazy to find something that the beggar could eat, so he caught the first animal he could - a lizard, and placed it in front of the old beggar, along with some water. The rabbit did not know what to get for the old beggar. He was not good at catching animals or fish, nor could he scale trees and get fruit. He only knew how to gather grass, but humans didn’t eat grass. Having nothing to offer, he sat in a corner unhappy. Suddenly he remembered that humans like to eat meat. So he got up happily, prepared a fire and jumped into it, having decided to cook himself for the unknown old man. The fire did not burn the rabbit! The old man revealed himself to be Sakra, the ruler of Gods. “You have been very kind and selfless.” he said to the rabbit. Touched by the rabbit’s selflessness and virtue, he drew the likeness of the rabbit on the moon. “Henceforth, for all ages, all those who will look at the moon, will see your shape in it and remember your kindness.

(the story of Tsuki no Usagi, from here. lightly adjusted for formatting and such)

Most versions of this myth have roughly the same story, with the identities of the rabbit's companions varying. Interestingly, the legends of Moon Rabbits among some indigenous cultures of North and Central America often tell an extremely similar story as well. For example:

According to an Aztec legend, the god Quetzalcoatl, then living on Earth as a human, started on a journey and, after walking for a long time, became hungry and tired. With no food or water around, he thought he would die. Then a rabbit grazing nearby offered herself as food to save his life. Quetzalcoatl, moved by the rabbit's noble offering, elevated her to the Moon, then lowered her back to Earth and told her, "You may be just a rabbit, but everyone will remember you; there is your image in light, for all people and for all times."

(from Wikipedia)

The Jakata version of the tale relates that this event took place on Uposatha, which is the same night as Tsukimi. And while it’s hard to say for certain that this was 100% a deliberate reference, it’s definitely not farfetched to connect this legend to what Yukika does on Tsukimi in her debut event, and in general.

Deeming herself a thoroughly unnoteworthy person with nothing special to offer, she's extremely willing to throw herself into anything from minor inconveniences to life-threatening dangers, as long as it's to help someone else. Because, as noted by Tsukasa and Mifuyu in her MSS...

Tsukasa: I mean, she says she’s "dragged into it" by the effect of her wish... Tsukasa: But really, isn’t she taking on this lost child of her own volition? Mifuyu: She’s the type of girl who could never leave someone in need alone, no matter what. Mifuyu: So, from her perspective, it’s the same as being dragged into things. Tsukasa: …What a kind girl.

...So, honestly, I have no doubt that she would have no hesitation in doing the same thing as the original Moon Rabbit did in the legend, had she been in his/its situation.

Yet the thing is, as Mifuyu analyzes above and according to Yukika's own words about "fate" prior, Yukika never sees what she does as anything exceptional because, in her eyes, she's only doing what she's naturally supposed to do, and what she probably (incorrectly) assumes to be what anyone in her circumstances would also do. Thus, she never sees any merit in those actions and she refuses to take credit for them, trying to remain in the background because she firmly believes that's just where she belongs by nature. but more on her self-effacement next time.

Now, onto the secondary reason she's eager to throw herself into danger:

Her thrill-seeking instinct.

Though it's a well-known fact about Yukika that she is quite a reckless gambler, have you ever wondered...

Why is she like this in the first place?

Pt. 2. The Psychology of an Ennuyé Bunny

in which I accidentally turned the analysis post into a psych diagnosis of a mostly unspecified mental condition I swear as a distinctly not STEM person I went out of my way to do scientific research this time, please bear with it if you don't mind

Of course, there's a canon explanation for this in Yukika's MSS, where it is discussed.

Tsukasa: …medal games? Yukika: When I abandon myself in an all-or-nothing, do-or-die game, I can forget for a moment about my boring daily life. Yukika: So… going to the arcade after school to play medal games became a hobby of mine. Yukika: I even secretly bought a casino set, and now stare at it at home every night…  Mifuyu: …Your escape from reality, I see. Yukika: Exactly. Tsukasa: If that’s the worst you can do, then you really are a true lady.

(Seen in her MSS and personal memoria, this is the casino set she secretly keeps in her closet but only ever stares at, without actually doing anything with it.)

As Mifuyu puts it, Yukika finds in small acts of gambling an escape from her boring reality, and as she said in her wish, what she wanted was "the feeling of being alive".

This is, statedly, due to her boredom* more on this later from following a predetermined life path (hence her wish being an act of defiance against fate, one which she is shown to be deeply ashamed of), but also...

...you know how substance abuse, excessive gambling, and other forms of addictions often co-occur with mental health issues?

Yeah.

In many such cases, said addiction can be the consequence as well as the cause of these issues

because for people with symptoms of depression, anxiety, executive dysfunction (and any other kind of stress or motivation issues, etc.), activities like alcohol and gambling provide them with a temporary source of ease, escape, and/or brain chemicals of the likes of catecholamines* see explanation later, any of which they might lack otherwise.

Besides, executive dysfunction (which is seen in many different mental conditions) can also mean worse inhibition control in both thoughts and behavior, which makes people with executive function issues particularly susceptible to addiction to physiological-rewarding behaviors, in more ways than one.

So... while I'm not going to pin anything particularly specific on her (okay I lied I'll say here she clearly does show symptoms of general anxiety at least, even if that's solely induced by the effects of her wish and not something originally innate to her, but that's mildly beside the point here since I'm more talking about the cause of her wish instead of the consequence), I don't think it's that much of a stretch to speculate that Yukika might have a mental condition or two that contributed to her unbearable "boredom" with her routine everyday life at that time.

Many studies have shown that executive function problems (as seen in various different conditions including neurodevelopmental disorders such as ADHD and ASD, or mood disorders such as depression and bipolar) may be caused by imbalances and deficits in certain key neurotransmitters, such as:

dopamine, and

noradrenaline (a.k.a. norepinephrine)

...both of which are among the 3 catecholamine hormones & neurotransmitters, alongside adrenaline a.k.a epinephrine.

for reference, common ADHD meds like amphetamine (Adderall, etc.) and methylphenidate (Ritalin, Concerta, etc.) are often catecholamine analogs or serve the same function, that is to say, they're used to increase the amount of dopamine and noradrenaline released by the patient's adrenal glands.

You may have realized that this isn’t exactly the first mention of adrenaline in this post. Indeed, Yukika herself brought it up in the earlier excerpt from Otsukimi where she experiences a rush of adrenaline at death’s door.

Adrenaline and noradrenaline both fall under what's considered “stress hormones”. Along with dopamine, they're a big part of what activates the fight-or-flight response (or to put it in more medical terms, the "acute stress response") in a person, as the catecholamines increase heart rate, blood pressure, breathing rate, muscle strength, mental alertness and more.

Between the two, adrenaline is released by your body when you experience acute or chronic stress, in preparation to protect itself against real or perceived danger.

On the other hand, noradrenaline is continuously released into circulation at low levels, but the amount produced also increases in response to stress and fright.

(By the way, adrenaline is made from noradrenaline, and noradrenaline is made from dopamine.)

...Right, well, all this neuroscience stuff and I still haven't made my point yet. But basically, what I mean is that there's enough canon evidence for me to believe the odds are that Yukika Nanase is not precisely a neurotypical individual, no matter what her problem(s) actually is in exact.

This is evident in her...

Chronic boredom (sometimes synonymous with "ennui") prior to making her contract, indicative of a depleted reward system

Attraction toward gambling and other risky behaviors that act as stimuli and generate the release of catecholamines in her brain

Possession of a certain level of impulsivity, and engagement in reckless & risky activities

Novelty-seeking attitude and behavior

As previously discussed, those traits above are primarily observed in Yukika's wish, the circumstances and reasons behind her wish, and her thrill-chasing attitude and behavior, including her fondness for medal games.

Like, if you read what Biser Angelov says about the connection between ADHD and boredom (the article is about ADHD specifically, but you can apply this particular section's info to other conditions with cognitive dysfunction as well):

As you can see, the screenshotted paragraphs discuss similar ideas to what I've been talking about in this subsection, and I'm sure you can see from here how the situation described indeed applies to Yukika, especially with her state before her wish.

In addition, let's examine the psychology of a thrill seeker. Yukika fits the description of what we would call an "adrenaline junkie", being particularly into thrills and dangerous situations. But what exactly makes thrilling sensations so appealing to a so-called "adrenaline junkie"?

You may or may not have heard of the Sensation Seeking Scale (SSS), originally published by psychologist Marvin Zuckerman in 1964 as a measure of sensation seeking that encompasses and evaluates an individual’s personality traits of thrill and adventure seeking, disinhibition, experience seeking, and susceptibility to boredom. A study about the brains of people with high scores on the SSS shows that under chaotic/dangerous/troublesome circumstances, these people tend to excrete less cortisol and more dopamine in response to the situations, compared to those who score low.

Now, cortisol is also a stress hormone, but it generally generates more feelings of what we actually consider "stress" compared to dopamine (and other catecholamines), which is instead more associated with feelings of pleasure and attention. So, during those highly chaotic experiences, those with a thrill-seeking constitution are more likely to feel good and elated instead of feeling burdened by stress, and the experiences thus become exciting to them rather than suffocating.

Considering the factors analyzed above, this might be the case for Yukika as well. If her brain suffered from a deficiency of catecholamines on mundane days but could produce much of those energizing neurotransmitters and hormones under stress and fright, it would explain why she enjoys high-risk/near-death experiences (and gambling) and finds being in chaotic troublesome situations to elevate a good portion of her boredom.

Moreover, the need for higher stimulation in children with executive dysfunction is backed by scientific research, according to this article on the link between ADHD and high-risk behavior.

Other studies (Zentall and Zentall 1983 and Douglas 1983) indicate that children with attention problems need a higher level of stimulation. According to the research, children with ADHD are under-aroused by dull or repetitive tasks and will seek out high-interest or high-risk activities to compensate. Further, (Farley 1981, 1985) children that are under-aroused will search for more intense activities and will be more open to different experiences. They will prefer complex tasks to simple tasks; will seek new and novel experiences that include the need for high energy and high risk. In short, Farley found that children with hyperactivity seek high stimulation. His recommendations for children with hyperactivity included modifications to education to include more interactive and creative experiences to provide the extra stimulation needed.

Many other scientific studies, such as this one conducted in 2021, have also proven that ADHD, a major symptom of which is executive dysfunction, is "uniquely linked to a pervasive pattern of engagement in risky behaviors", spanning across various domains, including gambling.

Moving on, Yukika also has the tendency to:

Ramble a lot (in her head and otherwise) while jumping from one topic to the next, sometimes in ways that would be considered... whimsical?

Accidentally think aloud, or vocalize things that she has no intention of letting the other party hear about, without realizing it until she sees their reaction

Despite her own opinion, Yukika actually stands out to me as quite capable, intelligent, and resilient in various areas (especially when you consider how honestly difficult her everyday life is like).

That said, the way she thinks and talks does sometimes give off the impression of some sort of scatter-mindedness, and when we spend time in her head we see that Yukika kind of zones in and zones out of conversations sometimes because there’s always so much going on in her brain (partly thanks to her full awareness of her own trouble-attracting nature, but I kinda get the feeling she was probably kinda like that even before becoming a Magical Girl), causing her to blurt out to people things she doesn’t mean to tell them about at times.

There are several instances of this in Otsukimi, including the “dealing with trouble is my fate” comment she didn’t mean to let that random girl hear about in the earlier excerpt, and the Great and Terrible Will of the Universe remark (as seen in a previous screenshot) wasn’t meant for the Tea Ceremony Club’s leader’s ears either.

As for her erratic thought patterns in general, you can probably see the way her internal thoughts are always constantly racing throughout the entire event. In fact, one can just look at the very start of Otsukimi for an example. And in a different scene, we see Yukika suddenly wondering to herself, while very sincerely navigating the problems in an attempt to solve them:

Yukika: (This time, I’ll find the cause of the trouble!) Yukika: (I’ll definitely reveal it...) Yukika: (Just what the Great and Terrible Will of the Universe (Tentative Name) actually is!) Yukika: ………… Yukika: (I doubt it'd happen, but just imagine...) Yukika: (The moment I step into the old school building, everyone yells "Happy Birthday!",) Yukika: (and this mob of well-wishers swallows me whole.) Yukika: (If nothing else, please let me be spared the embarrassment of such a turn of events...) Yukika: (Ah, and maybe even Akatsuki-senpai is in the act.) Yukika: ...Yeah, I think not. Yukika: I mean, it's already past my birthday for starters...

...yeah. Doesn't particularly read like the thought process of a neurotypical kid to me, but hey, who knows, maybe that's just me.

Moreover, she also shows signs of:

Anxiety and restlessness (the former of which was either caused by her wish or marginally increased by it)

Low self-esteem, feelings of worthlessness, and (debatably) inappropriate guilt

...etc, etc.

Overall, I believe that more than sufficient evidence is present in canon for one to see Yukika as having one or more mental conditions that come with executive dysfunction, and interpret her behavior and thinking through such an explanation.

Pt. 3. The Girl Who Wants to Live

On a note directly related to my conclusion in Pt. 2, I'm going to take a moment to compare and contrast Yukika to one of her better friends, Yuuna Kaharu.

Now, I personally believe that Yukika is quite a parallel to Yuuna in various ways, and Yuuna in The Flower that Blooms in a Hollow Heart definitely reads to me as having depression. I'd say the parallel is most obvious (to me) in like, Yukika's "I feel like I'm not really alive because all I'm doing is living the boring luxurious life to the future that my parents planned for me" (Yukika MSS, paraphrased) vs Yuuna's "I'm an empty shell blessed by the lucky life handed by me by my parents on a golden plate, only living because I'm not dead yet" (Hollow Heart, also paraphrased).

Yukika and Yuuna are also character foils, however, in that Yuuna has an arc centered on growth and she is able to advance forward because she finds herself a clear and defined goal in Mami, whom she sees as a role model that she aims to become like one day. On the other hand, Yukika establishes right at the very start of Otsukimi that she had never any desire to advance upward, whether in WoM or in school, because it was supposedly people like Tsukuyo who were suited for such better roles, and to Yukika, that's simply how it is.

There is another striking difference between them, and that is that Yuuna is unabashed in taking credit for when she's done something good, whereas Yukika times and times again brushes off any help she's offered with an "oh it's nothing special / it's already over with so let's not talk about it" kind of attitude, because that's really just how she sees it.

As examined earlier, this is largely due to her low self-worth and her perception of everything as her own natural responsibility. The unfortunate thing is that this self-effacing attitude, on top of her already faint presence and all, makes her even more unnoticed and her deeds completely unacknowledged.

And then, by further preventing most people from recognizing Yukika and her efforts, it reinforces her mindset about her lowly faint presence and further contributes to her lack of self-worth, which in turn makes her value her life even less, altogether creating a vicious feedback loop.

Yukika speaks of having friends in class, but with the way she talks about it, they don't seem all that close to her and they're definitely not people she could fully open her heart to.

see the fact that she's very concerned that her classmates and school friends mustn't hear about her visits to the arcades; she is never really seen thinking much about them on-screen, going to them for help, or worrying about any particularly important school friend when the whole school is in trouble, etc.

In canon, there are like only three named characters who consistently notice Yukika and actively try to pay attention to and care about her (Rion & Hotori, later Yuuna), and none of them even go to the same school as her.

And because Yukika has this somewhat fatalistic mindset, no defined aims or goals in life, and effectively actively discourages people from noticing her, she is likely to just... stay this way, unlike Yuuna.

Like, Yukika is just a weirdly really static character in her default state. As someone who's tried to work with her as a major character in a story, it's honestly kind of crazy how I always absolutely have to throw her into some odd situation where another character actively tells Yukika that she (and she specifically) should try to change or grow, as long as I want to make her undergo any dynamic character development. Otherwise, her usual mentality typically completely blocks any possible self-development of the introspective kind from happening.

To me, there's something rather... subtly tragic(?) about this, but...

Yeah, so, I for one do believe that Yukika still has the quality for future growth. Not sure if it could happen in the game or not, but like, I do think that can still happen to her as a person. And more than that...

In spite of everything I've been saying up till this point, Yukika's core desire is "to live".

It's in the wish she made. It's why she chases excitement the way she does. Indeed, Yukika is relatively easily self-sacrificial as a result of the "low self-worth + too kind" combo and she seeks to experience the brink of death for a wholly different reason, but truly, her overall main subconscious drive is to feel alive.

And the most paradoxical thing here is the fact that her longing to experience a brush with death stems from her desire to live, rather than a desire to die; not only thanks to the catecholamines rush, but also because it is through the fact that the chance of death exists for one that their life is so meaningful. (or so goes my personal opinion, in any case)

After all...

Yukika: Wow... Student Council President: What do you think about it? Yukika: Yes... Yukika: I'm so glad to have been born on a planet with a moon! Student Council President: You… you're that moved by it? Yukika: Yes. Yukika: I thought that I wouldn't live to see it again. Student Council President: Okay…?? [...] Yukika: The same old face of the moon as always. The same boring world as always... Yukika: Tonight, they both shine brilliantly to me.

...

Even though her everyday life is tedious, her self-esteem dreadful, her mindset somewhat fatalistic, and something's up with her brain chemicals too...

Deep down in her heart, the thing Yukika Nanase truly wants is to be alive.

And I don't know about you but... man. I find that very moving, you know?

And...

That's all, folks!

This concludes my essay. Basically, my big main point is that Yukika is certainly one of the most characters of all time and should be cherished at all costs.

Thanks for reading this (very long) propaganda analysis post to the end, and I’ll see you next time o7

[robian]

Sword Art Online

Glad we are covering SAO, as this was one of the first anime I ever watched. When watching SAO the first time, I just remember thinking how cool it would be if we had playable virtual reality worlds in real life. Honestly, I still think it would be cool and hope that one day technology will get to the point where I can play one. But what exactly makes a simulation so desirable? My best guess is that its the same reasons that most people play any video games for. Some people play video games for the comfort, some play for the competition, and some play as a way to escape the real world.

A video game simulation could act as a second order representation of reality where we can add whatever we desire that does not exist in the real world. It would give us the ability to escape the real world and jump into one that we see as more desirable.

Aincrad could be seen as a simulation. Aincrad is not a real place and has no real world value, but to many excited players its somewhere that is desirable is comparison to their real lives. However, Aincrad could also be seen as a representation. In a sense, the creator of the game attempts to turn the simulation into a representation of the real world by adding the referent of death.

This is a slight side tangent, but I think Sword Art Online calls into question what we truly define reality as (and it continues to do this in later seasons). If the simulation captures all of our senses and we can even die, then is this simulation not a reality to the people who are playing or the NPCs who live there?

Now, back to the analysis: the world (this time I mean outside the game) that SAO takes place is an extreme example of what Baudrillard defines as Hyperreal. People put an astronomical amount of value on these simulated worlds and in later seasons the influence only grows. People even start to value what happens in these Virtual Worlds more than in real life. Some players even would have preferred to stay in Aincrad rather than go back to the real world.

Although, I don't think I would actually choose to live out my life in a virtual world, I can see the appeal that it may have to many people. SAO may just be an anime, but it is also a warning of a possible hyperreal future where people prefer the simulated world over the real. Honestly, who could blame them? After learning about Capitalism and Neo-liberalism, we know there are plenty of people in society who do not have the means to enjoy this world to its fullest extent.

[themysticsword]

Quitting RoR2 Modding

(posting this in case anyone who plays my RoR2 mods isn't in any of the discord servers lol)

So, basically, yeah, I'm done with Risk of Rain 2 for good. Don't wanna associate myself with the game. Just really want it gone from my life. I don't want to think about it.

All of the mods I made out of my personal interest are now marked as deprecated, and potentially will even be deleted later. The only things that will stay are projects that were either made for friends, had contributions from more than just me, or are funny enough that I feel like they should stay.

Why? For a lot of reasons.

The Community Manager

So, SeventeenUncles (or Suncles, as we all call him). The guy may seem like a chill person on the twitch streams, but god. He's Bad at server moderation. Everybody in the server knows it. And if somebody has any kind of complaint about that moderation, he silences all the critique and tells to open a ticket via Modmail, which will not result in anything because why would he care lmao he's the community manager and he makes all the rules.

Like this one. I wrote a proper, consise ticket about my mute (which was unfair, by the way!), expecting to either get unmuted or at least get a response or have a conversation as to why they think it was fair. Guess what I got.

you're welcome suncles.

There's a lot of problems with how he's running the server, which I'm not gonna talk about, because, luckily, someone else has already done it, in detail! https://www.tumblr.com/gabrielultrakill-bigboobs/723312859455651840/the-official-risk-of-rain-discord-and-its-hellish?source=share

A lot of nasty stuff. In the official server, mind you.

But yeah. He represents the company Hopoo Games, and who am I to support a company with a prick as their representative :)

The Community Itself

Now, I know this is a dumb reason to quit over, but it's not the reason. It's just one of them.

It's toxic. Elitist. And, most importantly, way too controllable. We have, like, 4-5 mainstream content creators, and almost all of them manage to give the worst tips to newbies despite sinking hours into the game and, supposedly, having a lot of experience and knowledge.

It's so bad to the point where some youtubers call out the wiki for giving "false information", so their fans go on the wiki and make edits while parroting whatever Mr. Youtuber said.

Picture this: you're a new player, and you have unlocked a hard character. You struggle with them, so you go to the wiki, and the first thing you're told is that you actually need to unlock a different ability for them to make them playable. And only 7-8 paragraphs below, the wiki tells you how to use the base abilities properly. You know. The ones that you have right now, as a new player. While also making them sound weaker than they are in reality. Doesn't this sound like imposing someone specific's preferred playstyle onto everybody else?

Constant arguments. You open the discord server, or the subreddit, or a youtube video, just about anything, and you'll see people disrespecting each other over a video game. These arguments usually stem from someone being incorrect, them getting corrected by others, and that person fighting until the end of times just to prove that they're actually right, because, for some reason, they can't accept being wrong.

And I kept seeing these arguments. Engaging in them. When you want to interact with the community of a game on this scale of popularity, you just can't not encounter the bad parts. Statistically impossible.

Oh, and you know why the community partially is like that? Because the devs and the moderators are fine with that behaviour. The devs are known to be all mean and like "massive trolls" or whatever. Meanwhile, you don't see this shit happening in the A Hat in Time or Celeste servers.

Other Projects

Lastly, I've been meaning to quit RoR2 for a long time now. I want to move on and do something else. I've been making RoR2 mods for 4 years now, I think? It's a shame I have to leave like this, but eh, whatever.

If you're reading this, I hope you're doing well! I'm doing well, because I got rid of the part of my life that's been bothering me for way too long :3 See ya in other games that I'll mod!

[productofaritual]

Tumblr doesn't let u pin multiple posts, so here's some posts I would pin too if I could :D (will grow over time)

Watch me go insane in real time

Crazy? I was crazy once

More about asks

More about me but in the form of a bad joke

Art (and not just art) resources

Intro? Intro. I've decided to actually engage with OTHER HUMAN BEINGS. Sometimes. Occasionally. To talk about my silly little thoughts and silly little writing.

Agender, any pronouns/terms (neutral preferred), Aroace

I'm working on an original book called "Bound By Name". It has its own tag and if you want to know about it, be sure to check out #Bound By Name (intro post about it here) (I don't post much about it but I am in the process of writing!)

Author/fanfic writer

Bilingual (English/Czech)

My ao3

Askbox always open! Speak to me! Also if you have fic prompts or ideas you think I'd like/want me to write, throw them in there too!

DMs always open but say what you want right in the first message because I might not answer or panic block

Spam liking/reblogging/commenting is A-OK. I love to see people enjoying my silly little posts

Moot = can interact anytime all the time as much as they like I literally can't say how much I appreciate all of them

I mainly write SBI and beeduo (yes, in 2024) and talk about random stuff

All of my fics are strictly about the characters! All of them! Every single one!

Way more WIPs than completed works

Expect me talking about discontinued works, unfinished works, or those on hiatus, but I'll only be posting the finished ones on ao3! That's why they're taking so long

I only write for the DSMP fandom but some of my other interests include: D&D, Detroit: Become Human, EPIC: The Musical, Project SEKAI, Genshin, Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss, The Magnus Archives and maybe getting into the life series

CRINGE CULTURE IS FUCKING DEAD

DNI: Basic DNI, just don't be weirdchamp and we'll probably get along. I really don't think I mind anyone with basic human decency. If I dislike something you do I'll just block

Not siding with anyone on any cc drama ever. All I'll say is do your research and base your opinions on concrete proof and verified facts. I might have my own opinion, but I will not be voicing it.

Blinkies and tag sorting under cut!

Tag sorting (started 22.05.2024 so anything earlier isn't gonna have them. Also I just forget to add them sometimes)

#textpost.bzzt - generic post that I made. Includes asks because I don't get enough of them to justify making a separate tag

#rbees.bzzt - reblogs. Can you tell I'm proud of that pun?

#artbees.bzzt - specifically art reblogs. Can you tell I'm even more proud of that pun? (I tend to reblog art multiple times, only one will be tagged)

#fandom.bzzt - fandom related posts. Can be any fandom. Art reblogs won't have it, mainly because I'm lazy

#mootsies.bzzt - anything related to my mutuals

#personal.bzzt - stuff that might be a bit more personal/talking about my personal life. No I'm not doxxing myself, just talking about my pets or experiences or whatever

#writing.bzzt - anything writing related

#onceinafullmoonramble.bzzt - my once in a full moon rambles. They're longer than my usual posts and can be about literally anything

#horizonverse.bzzt - anything related to the fanfic series "Event Horizon" by Hellenite on ao3. Will not be tagged with fandom or fic tags most of the time because I don't wanna spam them. I didn't have any part in the creation of it, it's just my special interest

#genshin dsmp fusion - a random au I post about that features the DSMP as a new genshin region and the members as playable characters! It's not a fic and I don't plan on writing it into one, I'm just rambling about my ideas for it

(Made w https://blinkies.cafe, divider by cafekitsune)

[impostorsshow]

Okay so you’re my Legend of Zelda person

How are you feeling about the Echoes of Wisdom announcement? Surprised? Excited? Eh? Did you like what you saw of the game? The art style? The Echo mechanic?

(Personally, I’m really looking forward to the game, and it’s looking like the twink will finally have to be saved this time.)

I haven't seen much of the trailer and don't know what the echo mechanic is, I only get game info through my partner that stays up until 3-4 am their time to watch the Nintendo directs and I prefer to find out about zelda games far after the community has discussed it or play it blind myself with trusty non spoiler guide site zeldadungeon.com, but I love that we're getting another game in the chibi links awakening style!! It's my favorite, and my old comfort object that I lost was an amiibo figure of links awakening link, so I really hope they make a figure of Zelda I can buy - my family pirated every amiibo for Zelda that was released up to botw and they're about the size of the first index of my thumb but having a full figure of a Zelda character would be nice again.

I am also really surprised about it, and having Zelda as a playable character is amazing again. I only know of 4 Zelda games that have had the goddess reincarnation herself be the protagonist, 3 of the games were most likely released in the OG Zelda/adventure of link titles era or around the oracle games based on the cartridge? Art I saw idk it might also be related to the PC quest games that came out around the same time which for reference is the uh. "eXCUSSEEE ME PRINCESS" one I think that's the thing it's well known for that is a whole different convo with a different blog i know nothing of the older titles except the basics. Anyway anyway I own the 4th game I know about that no one else mentions because it's technically not canon and is worse off than Hyrule warriors is but it's called cadence of Hyrule I think just search up "Crypt of the Necromancer Zelda" you'll find it and I did play through most characters campaign including Zelda's in that one, and think it's definitely worth mentioning due to how different Zeldas gameplay is to links. Uh anyway based on that game alone I have very high hopes for the gameplay of Zelda, as well as the thinks the higher ups at Nintendo said about sticking with botw/totks direction and play style.

Lastly I'll be honest with you im sleep deprived as shit cause emergency irl shit happened last night and I havent been sleeping well in general so I forgot my big thing i wanted to talk about in this segment but uh. Salvaged bits are yada yada Zelda mechanics parallels to other games more characterization more well written fanfics that aren't JUST skyward sword and botw for her etc etc based on how they handled princess peach showtimes characterization [which like. Honest to God really hard character to write in 2024 due to her roots being damsel in distress 101 and people tending to mostly correctly point at any pinky extra feminine girl and shout misogynistic] I really don't think Nintendo can fuck this up, and I am fully confident they won't fuck it up :].

ALSO CAPE CAPE ZELDA CAPE SHE HAS A CAPE ITS A CAPE ZELDAS CAPE ITS SO CUTE GOOD CHARACTER DESIGN SHE HAS A CAPE ITS SO CUTE OH MY GOD CAPE CAPE CAPE SHE HAS A CAPE

Oh yeah actually I did like the little bit of the trailer I did see that link shot her free at the last second, showing he is still in character and they didn't shoehorn in an idea to have a female protagonist like other series would do, but that every side of the triforce is equally powerful. I expect this game to be like if links awakenings dungeon puzzles were used on the overworld, and based on another Tumblr post I saw there might be some diplomatic puzzles. Or at least dual sided quest lines

Uh is there anything else I was gonna say. Oh I'm definitely going to be live posting about when I play the game since my birthday [shoutout to sans undertale] is in September so im definitely planning to ask for it or get it myself, even though I know it comes out past my birthday

[ohthehypocrisy]

Larger than life Legendaries for Pokemon Unite!

With the official release of Mewtwo Y, we now have a grand total of 2 and a half super powered Legendary pokemon in Pokemon Unite. That's sort of a big deal, because it means that, at this point, size is really the only limiting factor that determines whether a pokemon is playable or not.

It goes without saying that Legendary Pokemon are usually, well, large. But there are some rare pokemon that are just the right size to play with the rest of us lowly mortals for a few games in Pokemon Unite.

So, with Mewtwo causing chaos with both its X and Y form, let's see how the other primordial pokemon fare in Aeos Island. The question is, who do we want to see next?

Now, before I sign off, I do have to explain why Regidrago is on the poll when it isn't nearly as powerful as its fantastical friends. Quite frankly, it has to do with, well, not being in the game at all, despite its brethren enjoying the spotlight in each and every match. Seriously, you know Regieleki came as a pair with Regidrago, right? And the Regi Trio from Hoenn trade places in the Bottom Lane with each other at random. And yet, no Regidrago whatsoever in Pokemon Unite.

So if Regidrago isn't in the game as an objective, perhaps it can be in the game as a playable pokemon? Granted, it doesn't really fit in with the other legendaries listed here, and I'd really prefer to put Regidrago in a different poll so that it would have a better shot, but I needed to fill in one more slot, and I ran out of options in the National Dex. But hey, maybe y'all will surprise me, so you better vote.

Other than that, all the other choices here meet the size requirement for joining Pokemon Unite. Yes, even Heatran, as it happens to be smaller than Mamoswine, who is the largest playable pokemon at the moment. Miraidon is actually bigger that either of them, but I'd imagine that it and Koraidon would play in their Unpowered Form first before leveling up sufficiently.

Alright, that'll do it for me. See y'all next week, and make sure you vote!

[xzho-writes]

Awesome because I have many questions because I think she is very cool!

What's their name? Which region is she from?

Do they have a vision? If so, what is it and how did they get it?

If she was a playable character, what weapon would she have?

Do they have pets? (very personally, I think they look like they'd have a little lizard)

What job would she have/what affiliation would she be part of?

Give us a fun fact about them!!

Thank you kindly,

I may be back with more questions later,

moi <3

OHHHH BOYYYY nonnie you just opened up a whole can of brainworms

i’ll add a cut here just so that you guys don’t have to scroll for ages, but thanks for these questions! their info isn’t finalised but it’s what i have so far :>

i’m more than happy to answer more questions!!

1) her name is amihan! she’s originally from sumeru but moved to mondstadt which is where she currently resides

2) i was actually considering not giving her a vision but i ended up giving her a cryo one. i’ll put her story + the other questions utc cause it’ll start to get long!

amihan got her vision rather tragically. on her 4th group commission as part of the adventurers’ guild, her group was commissioned to retrieve a mysterious package from dragonspine.

they had successfully located the package, but so had curious fatui agents who had unluckily set up camp in the surrounding area.

both parties were unwilling to let go of the item and tensions rose within a matter of moments.

unfortunately, amihan and her group members were all visionless. there was little they could do against the agents with pyro delusions, despite all of them being proficient with weapons.

jack, the youngest in the group and her closest friend, was the first to fall. he had never been a strong fighter.

bea, the second eldest behind amihan, took a hit for the other remaining member, althea, and fell not long after.

althea was able to take out an agent with her claymore, but was powerless against the sheer cold of dragonspine and succumbed to its ruthless elements.

only amihan and two other agents were left standing.

overwhelmed with grief, panic, and the accumulation of sheer cold, amihan closed her eyes and let out one long, visceral scream.

when she opened her eyes, she found that the agents had somehow frozen, completely encased in ice.

taking a step back caused her to stumble a little, having stepped on something that wasn’t there before.

by her feet was a glowing cryo vision.

amihan cared not for the package that had led to the deaths of her friends. she spent the rest of the day giving them as best of a burial as she could, covering them with mounds of snow that she knew would never melt.

when it came time to return to the guild, she had wordlessly left them the vision.

3) she’s a sword wielder! as someone rather short (i’m around 4’10), it’s difficult for her to use weapons like a claymore.

she’s worked with polearms in the past, but prefers the sword. bows are highly inconvenient in her eyes, and catalysts don’t give her the thrill of close combat.

4) i’m sorry but i cackled when you said she looks like she’d have a lizard AHAHAHA. what gives you that impression? (i’d love to have one personally though)

but no, she doesn’t have a pet. amihan is very sensitive when it comes to loss given her vision story, so she can’t stomach having to one day say goodbye to them :’)

5) she’s part of the adventurers’ guild! amihan makes a living off of commissions :>

6) she loves to crochet! she specifically loves to crochet small animal plushies, and upon making new friends she’s always quick to gift them a tiny crochet bunny!!

[redux-iterum]

not related to warriors or the redux at ALL but i would absolutely LOVE to hear your thoughts on the last of us if you were willing to share!! honestly i don't think i could've ever asked for a better video game adaptation, i shudder to think what the original movie back in, like, 2015 would've looked like

I am very glad you've given me this opportunity. Thoughts under the cut.

So I just gotta say, up front, the story in the game is magnificent. It totally earned its place of being held up as one of the best stories in gaming history. Several scenes still make me wanna weep (I even hear someone say "baby girl" and my heart has a knife-wound immediately). When I heard they were making a show, I was very afraid - I don't think it's controversial to say that games being made into shows or movies just don't work out at all, ever. The Last of Us, the game, is especially one that, if you ruin it, you have fucked yourself over harder than the dudes behind the final season of GoT. I thought that you will never win over people no matter how good the show is, because the game is just so much better.

BOY AND FUCKING HOWDY WAS I WRONG

This fucking show! Is so good! Its version of the story, dare I say, is better than the game! I don't know how they fucking did that. It seems an impossibility. But their additions and translations and pacing are incredible! I'm watching a playthrough of the game right now for the story to compare, and I'm boggled to realize I prefer how the show did darn near everything! These goddamn writers made me care about Bill! How the fuck is that possible!?

They did make changes, but I love all of them. Especially when it comes to characterization. This Joel, I absolutely adore. Which, I wanna go into that real quick, because the comparisons between the two versions interest me greatly:

Joel in the video game was, to me, characterized as he plays in the game - that is, an unstoppable monster that the NPCs should be and are terrified of, because he can and will kill everyone to make things more convenient for himself. He gets stabbed in the gut and as soon as he gets one dose of antibiotics he hobbles out into the snow and the enemies run away from him; the protagonist equivalent of a boss fight just arrived, and they are not going to fucking engage. He is grumpy and stoic and terrifying, and it takes a long time to get through to his actual humanity, what little he has left.

That characterization works very well for a game, but the show is not a game. It needs a human being to be the protagonist. No one is going to support game!Joel in a TV show. So they softened him and dented his iron wall a good amount, and I love that. He's a person - he's old enough to have bad knees, his hearing is failing, he damn near weeps telling his brother about his desperation to keep Ellie safe - and what a compelling person he is. I loved him already, but the instant he started giggling over a stupid pun Ellie made, he beat out game!Joel by a wide margin for me. I just adore this version. He's a human being, not a playable character. It's perfect.

On another note, it is INCREDIBLE that I know everything that's going to happen in this show - I have watched multiple people do multiple playthroughs of the first game, I know this shit backwards and forwards - and their little adaptive flairs still make me wanna cry. Sam and Henry in particular killed me (I'll talk about that some other time because this is long enough), and even all these new characters that they made for the show have me so invested that, whether or not I can guess where they're going, I'm desperately hoping for a peaceful end for them. I will say that the scene that I cry at every time (the end of Ellie's confrontation with David) was probably the only thing I didn't find to be better than the game, but it still hurt and I am happy for that.

I have a lot more thoughts, but this shit is a textwall now, so I'll leave it at this: 123/10, will cry again.

[kobblefort]

Blackfaint: Origins 1

The Hill of Scars is wide, its western half already filled to the brim with settlements of all kinds - humans, kobolds, Stella elves, lapines and even dwarves. Its most fertile and welcoming lands have been snatched up long ago, and so anyone who wishes to strike out has only the barren eastern plains and dunes left to them. You can barely see it amidst all the outposts, fortresses, towns and cities and hamlets and villages, but the yellow square east of the Gulf of Mastery's inlet and just south of the river marks a new one; or at least, an attempt at one. Caring not how close they set out to either the humans' tower to the west or the kobold fort Ripekills to the east, a new outpost is established by a small group that broke off from their larger one.

From The Nightmare of Tunneling comes yet another little group of outcasts: The Seducer of Dimpling, settling the little patch of terrifying untamed wilds they will call Vrikrokoki: "Blackfaint."

As you might notice, we got started early. I had to hack the "Additional Races: Ratfolk" mod from the Steam Workshop myself to make them playable, and unfortunately, this for some reason means I can't set any nobles and administrators. I tried a few times, but it's no good - I think I fixed the problem, but I would need to generate a whole new world to fix it, and after all the time I've put into this one already we are not doing that. So we head straight in, where before anything else...

We're dealing with this aquifer as fast as possible, which for now will make the main stairway incredibly fucking dangerous. We'll be fixing it with a bunch of wooden grates, of course, but until then, better hope nobody gets too drunk. Even though all we brought to drink was dark elven vodka.

Our administrator, or caravan leader if my hack wasn't such a, well, hack, is Kirra Halllies. Though she's strong, she doesn't actually like getting into physical confrontations. She's humble, thoughtful, and more hopeful than your average rat. However, she's quick to form negative views about things, and finds the pursuit of art to be a waste - even though art and natural beauty often moves her.

It'ikik Ghoulscar, our woodcutter and carpenter, in addition to everything you see here: likes magnetite, platypus leather, the color scarlet, flails, shields, and amulets, and prefers to drink tomatillo wine. He also hates lizards.

K'keek Vicescourge is an awesome fucking name. I have incredibly high hopes for this anxious egoistic mess of a rat.

Kikeek Menacebreeds is another awesome name, and is something of a space case. She has less of a warlike view of the world than most ratfolk.

Eetekak Strikehate (how do these names keep getting better) doesn't take things personally, but that's for better and for worse.

Eeteek Seduceworked seems useless to me. Why would ratfolk farm?? Ratfolk pillage!!!

And last but possibly not least, Eeteek Terrorslip is a chronic oversharer who can't take care of herself and cracks under pressure. She's literally me. I'm actually worried about how similar she is to me. Well except me personally I always experience strong cravings or urges. The more I read of this panel the more upset I get because I don't want to get too attached here; this is a "Terrifying Untamed Wilds" biome we've settled in after all, and we're headed straight into the first cavern layer.

The first thing to dig out is a meeting area. We've got no livestock to worry about keeping alive, but we've got to work kind of quickly against the aquifer: the quick and dirty drain is already spilling over a bit.

It's a bit of a crap solution, and we'll have to make sure to fix it up properly so that it can drain off the map soon, but we don't even have beds or a place to drink vodka. On the plus side, the drain acts as a "mist generator" for a free and easy mood boost. Well, again, not free, I could totally end up fucking flooding the entire base, but who cares, we're fucking rodents. We're here for a bad time, not a long time. Our lifespans are already pitifully brief, there is no point to not just fucking around and doing whatever we want. Kobbles might fancy themselves to be silly creatures but they get so serious about rocks and dragons and shit. But this is rat world. You've entered the rat world. And here in the rat world we do things a little fucking differently heh heh you know "Fuck it!!!" That's basically the rat world motto, you just say "Fuck it!!!" three exclamation points of course - Just fucking kidding dude!!!!! You can use as many exclamation points as you fucking want in rat world!!!!!! I just owe it to you to keep it real with you man rat world is a little different, we do things a little different in rat world.

Rat world also kind of fucking sucks man I just gotta keep it real with you like there's barely anything to fucking eat in rat world, and we have to plant seeds and shit like chumps because well it kind of really just fucking sucks in rat world. Not a single tree on this entire 3x3 embark tile seems to be able to give fruit, it's the middle of summer and yeah nothing man, rats don't really get to have fruit here in rat world which kind of sucks.

We're planting cave tubers and quarry bushes like fucking assholes, LOL. Gotta do what you gotta do in rat world though.

A fucking bunch of dudes show up to rat world which is pretty tight because there's like no food and we all sleep on the ground., But thats' kind of how shit goes in rat world sometimes LOL I'm actually like super worried about how we're going to get food going on in rat world but maybe if we just head straight for the first cavern layer we'll be able to get some grub on without running into too many like fucked up little cavern dwellers or forgotten beasts.

It doesn't take long either which is fucking tight it's literally just 13 layers below our little "main chill zone" area. We'll need to wall off what we call a "chill area" for specifically non-tweak kinds of creatures (us) to get away if tweak kinds of creatures (forgotten beasts) start throwing the vibes off, possibly with like doors or some such shit.

Honestly rat world is kind of popping off right now, we've got like economic forces impacting shit and shit which is honestly like, tight. The food number got down to like 8 for a second but we popped it back up to ~30 which is awesome. Since we can't get a bookkeeper or whatever we'll never like, actually know for sure what kind of numbers are going on, unless getting whatever our version of a "mayor" is finally gives us back the Nobles & Administrators window, but yeah right now we're kind of just chilling hard with cavern access and shit.

The bedroom layout is going to be "A little different" lol as most things in rat world are - I figure the "windmill villas" is a bit complicated for rats really and how much space do they need, it's chill to just leave your shit whereever you like in rat world nobody cares, so you don't need a cabinet or a chest, basically just a door and a bed should be good enough. You can't go around expecting too much shit in rat world like you get what you get in rat world. The resting heart rate of a rat ranges from 250 to 400 beats per minute if you can fucking believe that. That's just how things go in rat world it's a fast-paced life you live you die. Ok. And more important than anything you gotta party in rat world, rat world is ALL ABOUT PARTYING.

The "tavern" is now called The Black Oats. There's still nowhere to stand but people finally started having mugs to drink out of. Even guys who "disdain merriment" have to do at least a little dancing in rat world. The two customary dances in The Nightmare of Tunneling are The Berry of Glossing and The Vermilion Flute.

I still don't know how to parse these, my brain just can't convert this into imagery, sorry.

Our carpenter decides to make a crutch called "Drenchedgear the Prairies of Insight" which is fine. Nothing too interesting about it and we don't really have a concept of "value" in rat world so it's no problem. Just a cool thing we have now I guess - Fuck it!!!!!

The somewhat phallic aquifer drain is safely completed. A miner got kind of wet in the process but it's fine. There's also floodgates at the south end with a lever attached just in case I want to drown out the entire first cavern layer or something later; idk you have to be ready for things.

THIS DUDE'S NAME IS SRAKEEK STOLENCACTI!!!!

I'm going to bed now

[chris-aok]

The Best HIDs for the Mac

HID stands for human interface device. This usually refers to keyboards and mice but can refer to anything that lets you provide inputs to a computing device.

I use the term HID rather than simply saying "keyboard and mouse" because the best HIDs for the Mac aren't a keyboard and mouse: The best HIDs for the Mac are a keyboard and trackpad.

The Mac has evolved a lot over the years, and so has its HIDs. There was a time where mice on the Mac only had a single clickable button in contrast to the PC's two: left mouse button and right mouse button.

I don't know if the Mac did this to differentiate itself from the PC or because Apple had done the hard work of researching to all hell mice and determined that an extra mouse button was superfluous. It might have been both.

While the Mac works very well with a variety of HIDs from third-parties, the best HIDs for the Mac are first-party HIDs, which is to say Apple HIDs.

The Best Keyboard for the Mac

While I enjoy a mechanical keyboard as much as the next nerd, the best keyboard for the Mac is one of the Magic Keyboards with Touch ID. There's a model with a Numeric Keypad and one without. Take your pick. I prefer the one with the Numeric Keypad because it has a Numeric Keypad but also because you can get it with black keys.

You can try to live your life without Touch ID, and while you might be able to accomplish much without it, Touch ID on a purchasable keyboard was a big deal for me when it came out. I had been waiting for Apple to create one for years as a Mac mini user, where BYOK (Bring your own keyboard) was the philosophy. This unlocks Apple Pay directly on your Mac without needing an iPhone or other device with biometrics (Face ID or Touch ID). Additionally and obviously: It lets you unlock your Mac or several applications that would normally require a password. Very cool.

The Best Mouse Trackpad for the Mac

We aren't going to talk about the Magic Mouse 2. And the reason why we aren't going to talk about it is because you can't charge it and use it at the same time, which is a ridiculous and indefensible design decision. Shame on you, Apple.

This leaves us with the Magic Trackpad. In 2024, it's technically the Magic Trackpad 2. The original Magic Trackpad was grey and took 2 x AA batteries and worked great. I liked it a lot; but the Magic Trackpad 2, while being rechargeable, also comes in Black, with a wider surface, feels silky smooth, and comes equipped with Force Touch, giving you more versatility in the input commands you can provide. Plus, as a flex: It has no moving parts. You aren't actually clicking it when you press down, it's just providing force feedback to simulate a click. Groovy.

I find it fascinating that an HID normally designed for laptops would make its way to the desktop and would become the best way to interact with your Mac. I supplement the functionality of the Magic Trackpad with the application BetterTouchTool, which lets you program additional gestures than those available in macOS. With the amount of gestures I can make on the Magic Trackpad, I never once feel like I'm less productive than with a mouse. I say this as someone who rocked a Logitech gaming mouse on the Mac for years specifically because I wanted to be able to do more with my HID. While I won't be gaming with the Magic Trackpad anytime soon (I think Minecraft was vaguely playable with it), I much prefer the touch and feel of the Magic Trackpad.

[analexthatexists]

I was stuck in a car a few days ago for like 2 hours so I wrote some fun facts and crap about Nightshade.

He has a high tolerance for sour/acidic foods

Canonically, he’s tried and semi-enjoyed Sour Patch Kids Cereal (“peeps sayin it’s wack but I ain’t get it broski this stuff not that bad might even try it again”)

Blood that’s censored (looks like neon paint) reverts to normal once Corrupt Nightshade leaves the affected timeline or if he’s far enough from the scene

Nightshade’s considered trying or stealing one of the negative apples, but decided that A) Dream would catch him before he could and B) Eating it could do permanent damage to the parasite (his “true” self) and he’d rather not risk that

His corrupt form has a weakness to fire but not sound, and is actually pretty used to loud frequencies and bass boosted noises

He prefers the Marvel comics over the movies and films but does enjoy the Spider-Man content

Corrupt Nightshade’s eye is a lot more open due to the parasite having to force it open to avoid any critical damage from the acidic body, making this form a lot riskier to maintain for him

Ink had forced him and Error to watch Trolls: World Tour thinking Nightshade would like the move for its colors and music. He did not.

Afterwards, he still forced Ink to make a playable copy of Barb’s guitar for him because he thought it looked cool as payment (He does not know how to play the guitar)

Nightshade knows how to use a firearm but Dream usually prevents him from even being around them (Corrupt Nightshade is not held back by such limits, making him several times more dangerous than he already is)

Once out of danger, Nightshade is quick to abandon his Corrupt form due to how unstable and dangerous it can get, but also from a personal disliking due to how close to death he was when he first gained said form

Dream usually has to teach Nightshade to be less of a rebellious, reckless guy and to make less threats or taunts, while Nightshade teaches Dream that not everyone is ok to trust or listen to

Nightshade is very rebellious and not afraid to step up to people stronger than him despite survival being one of his main priorities

Spray painting is one of Nightshade’s many ways of rebelling without causing anything physical or survival-risky, alongside other methods of vandalism or even property damage. He also just generally enjoys spray painting as a past time

While he’s more a fan of Anti-Heroes like Venom, Miles Morales and Spider-Punk have become one of his favorite superheroes, ESPECIALLY Spider-Punk (Basically his idol now)

Nightshade despises Morbius and will happily explain why the movie is garbage compared to the comics (Just not around Dream, the rant involves a lot of naughty words)

Nightshade doesn’t care how old someone is when it comes to fighting, and he will still throw hands against a baby if he sees he has to

[zachsgamejournal]

PLAYING: Quake 2

I've been weaning myself off of violent video games (thank you indie games) but admittedly there is something stupidly fun about Quake 2's murder simulation. 

STORY TIME? -- Yes.

After my mother stole my penny collection to pay for gas. She overcompensated with an apology by letting buy a game. I chose Quake 2. Not sure why, but I did. But this was the PS1 version. So however graphically challenged the PC version might have been, the PS1 version was worse. And while I never beat it, nor did I find it playable after switching to Medal of Honor (PS1), I still enjoyed the time I had with it. The aesthetic and atmosphere in particular stuck with me. And that's really making this experience enjoyable now.

PRESENT DAY

After Hades pissed me off for being itself, I needed a cleanse. Something less punishing, less strategic, something that I could pick up and drop without much consideration. Right on cue, Quake 2 Remaster appears in Game Pass. Having found memories of the aesthetic I decide to give it a try. To my surprise I found myself moving pretty quickly through levels. So when I first thought this should just be a cleanse, I've now decided to commit to beating it.

While I grew up a huge fan of Mortal Kombat and any game with blood, guts, and gore--I don't like it anymore. To much time and energy is focused on how to kill people. On the one hand it's disturbing, and on the other is boring. Grand Theft Auto was great because it went beyond the murder simulation (though there was a lot of murder). You could be a taxi cab driver, put out fires, look for stunts--and the games expanded to the point now you can do yoga. Don't know why you would want to, but you can. Point is, I don't think players just wanted to kill things. That was just easy gameplay and easy satisfaction. By the early 2000s, games were starting to expand beyond their core mechanics. 

Consider Final Fantasy 7, it was filled with mini games like snow boarding, Chocobo Breeding and Racing, a Submarine combat adventure, and other things. It was as much fun to live in Final Fantasy as it was to battle large bosses. Actually, I preferred the living to battling. And as we saw more open world games appear on the market, we started to see gameplay that existed outside of just shooting. And games like Morrowind and Metal Gear Solid often offered non-violent alternatives to mission completion. For me in particular, games that limited your choices and abilities to violence were ages behind the curve, singular, and boring. 

So why is Quake 2 so much fun in 2023? Firstly, it comes from an age where game companies struggled to get basic gameplay elements working to satisfaction. Not that they sucked at their jobs, but 3D games were new and computers were weak. Today you can copy-paste FPS blue prints to Unreal Engine and you're 90% of the way there. It took a lot of work to get games to run well, look decent, and be fun. Because Q2 is so focused on the base shoot'em up gameplay, it's not overly concerned with stepping outside its wheelhouse. You run around pushing buttons until the exit opens and shoot any baddies that get in the way: simple, sweet, and fun.

Comparatively, today's shooters have to tell a story. Good, I like story, but usually their storytelling isn't competent because they're just checking a gamer expectation box, or their storytelling isn't congruent with the story. Kind of like Black and Battlefield 3. You have levels of action intercut with scenes that take place in an interrogation. there's no meaningful attempt to marry the two. Most games can be this way, but these were obvious cheats. Q2 says fuck that, there's a war and you're fighting in it. 

And because the story is light, you get two unintentional advantages that many games suffer from today: the gameplay isn't constantly interrupted to "tell story" or explain mechanics, and there's no unnecessary filler: "Oh, I guess we owe them a cut-scene here..." Explaining mechanics is important. Late 90s and early 00s it seemed every game contained a tutorial level. Usually some sort of training camp before sending you out there. Fine.  But it prevents you from playing the game, especially when mandated. Later, games included the tutorials in early levels, so while there was usually story and plot infused into the game--you were still being trained. It was clear that you were not to be unleashed until much later. It's not a bad idea, but when you're replaying the game or playing sequels and you have to be "retaught" it can be boring.

Mario Bros. for NES taught the player as they played. Through trial and error you learn what's bad and what's good. You learn the layout and rhythm of the levels. And since the game is bombarding you with cut scenes, you can immediately restart the level and get caught up. Having recently played NES's Zelda, I was overwhelmed by the difficulty but impressed with how the game allowed you to explore it and figure it out at your own pace. The harder dungeons are blocked by necessary items and since you get to keep items and money upon death, you're never truly starting over. That's how Quake 2 works. Figuring the game out is the game. Games trying to be cinematic and overly story driven are so dedicated to guiding you down the "right path" you feel out of control. I don't think this was a sincere design choice, it's just how games were made at this time. And it's fun.

So...to further explain: this game is really about exploration. The levels are interestingly designed with branching paths and secrets. You're also able to move forward and back through levels--sometimes having to perform a few objectives in one map then the other. I love exploration games and Q2 doesn't disappoint. Checking every hall, jumping on top of every box, shooting barrels and finding secrets constantly reward you with more ammo or health. And you need those to survive. The shooting, on the other hand, isn't really what the game is about. It just makes exploring the levels more interesting.

I also appreciate how simple the controls are. You move, aim, jump, and shoot. Need to open a door, walk up to it. Need to push a button, walk into. Need to activate an elevator, stand on it. It makes action buttons in more modern shooters seem superfluous. I appreciate this. It makes me think of how Sea of Thieves works so well because your player controls are simple and everything is based on context. Unlike Assassin's Creed 4, you don't need to remember a million button combinations to work the ship. Need to raise/lower the sales, walk over to the rope that controls it. I could go on, but the point is that game keeps it simple which keeps it fun and intuitive.

Also, shooting things is fun. I hate myself a little for it, but as Portal and Metroid Prime get--shooting anything for any purpose is fun, you don't have to kill stuff. In truth, shooting is fun because you get to see an immediate result: I pull a trigger, something gets hit. The feedback is immediate and rewarding. Since I was a kid, I've shot tons of windows, walls, and water--especially water. It's always fun to see how the environment responds to bullets, grenades, lasers, and whatever. It's just fun to shoot things.

I'm very much against killing.

But what's really keeping me here is the aesthetic, and a little the music. I was just getting into metal when I first started playing Quake 2. Sadly, I also got sick and was suffering from a headache. I was in denial that the guitar riffing soundtrack was at fault. Since I've routinely listened to the sound track while doing chores and suffered zero headaches, I know it's not the OST's fault. But the design is peak 90's industrial. Lots of browns and greys. It's so dreary and oppressive, but also interesting. It almost feels lived in. Anyway, I'm moving along and having fun. I even faced my first boss. We'll see if I can keep up the pace.