#i would like a significant other.. BUT i dont... i just dont

[transgenderer]

so i was reading egan's "border guards" yesterday, and thinking about how egan's immortals, and how they relate to a philosophy of life, and significance. and then i was reading aztecs an interpretation, and thinking about how *small* aztecology is as a field, there just arent that many people whose job is studying mesoamerica. i mean, its gotta be less than 10k in the world. its a small field, individivuals can loom large. big fish, small pond

i think there's some meaningful sense in which modern humans are big fish in a small pond. the behavior of a system qualitatively changes as you scale it up. below a certain scale, theres free lunch everywhere. but past a certain scale, efficient market hypothesis starts working, and you should be surprised to find yourself with free lunch. and like, obviously there are lots of "scale thresholds" we're well above. but there are tons of scale thresholds we're below!

the protagonist of border guards studies math, but he has accepted he will never expand it, because he lives in the far future with like trillions of humans, all the low hanging fruit is snapped up. i think its logically possible for such a world to exist. but joyfully(?) we do not live in that world! we live in a world where it's not even that hard to find interesting math that nobody has noticed before. i mean, proving things is hard. but the world of math is just littered with unanswered questions, that are answerable. and the same is true for every other field really. we don't live in the eternal reccurence, where trillions of humans have existed for millions of years or whatever. there's so much low hanging intellectual fruit! we dont live in the solved world

and so, when one is emo about how we dont live in post-scarcity utopia, and grumbling about those people who think we need struggle and utopia would be bad, well.... i mean, i think those people are still wrong. but i think theres some meaningful sense in which we benefit from the knowledge-poverty of the current era. like, it sucks, i wish i could have all my answerable-with-the-available-evidence questions answered. but the fact that theyre not answered allows us to participate in their answering, for the first time. no one is keeping score anywhere, but yknow...the act of *making knowledge available to others* is meaningfully different from merely proving something which was known, on a material level. and we get to do that material thing, and someone who lived in a much knowledge-richer society than us wouldnt.

now, our knowledge-poverty maybe doesnt benefit us on NET. but it benefits us. things are less than maximally bad

[zevranunderstander]

number #1 tactic that people use to not sound as racist as they are when they talk to black people: 'uhh so you AMERICANS need to stop pretending everything is about YOU. why should i know this im not from the us :/' (= is talking about like. a phenomenally internationally well-known black artist)

[devine-fem]

Now… Due to my birdflash fixation, I have completely struck out and decided to make this post to explain why I read/headcanon them as exes. I now realize that this is going to be a long, drawn out way of saying “I think they have explored each other’s bodies,” well, it’s a little bit more than that 😭. In my head, I always felt as though Wally and Dick’s relationship sometimes read to me as two people who felt greatly for each other in their youths then over time found other people and new purpose and continued to pull away from the other.

Sometimes they treat each other kind of like how I’d treat an ex boyfriend or girlfriend, especially in Flash/Nightwing years.

Now I think it’s important to talk about their roles as Robin and Kid Flash, they are characters created to be relatable, the whole sidekick schtick was about appealing to the younger audience. It was such an early era that it should be noted that Dick and Wally did not have anyone else. Unlike now, Dick has a plethora of Robins to have seperate and distinct relationships with, same thing with Wally, any insecurities and worries can make someone feel extremely lonely. They did not have anyone, anyone but each other.

The early years for Robin and Kid Flash must had been confusing for the both of them so they had to confide in each other. Around this time I feel like it could be easier to fall more into a queerplatonic relationship with someone, Dick could feel confused and lonely, as he does then seeks and finds in Wally, with emotions hitting a peak I could totally see them accidentally falling for the other and sharing a relationship that’s a little more than friends…

It’s a big contrast. Wally has shown this big obligation for helping Dick and being there for him. This has always been strange to me. His inclination to try and be that person for him, which to me can feel like someone clinging to a relationship they know is slipping away.

It’s important to note that as Nightwing, the people there for Dick was not Wally, by this time, Wally became the Flash, found family, found love and entered the JLA. He was moving on and so was Dick but they still feel this inclination to call each other “best friends” though all the evidence says otherwise. It feels like one is clinging to a broken friendship to me.

He’s always so concerned for Dick because he knows how often he represses his emotions.

It’s why in my head, I can totally see Dick and Wally in their Robin/Kid Flash eras, losing their way, getting confused and confiding in each other in let’s say: a romantic way and now as adults they don’t know how to deal with it.

I know Dick is just thinking here but like, they do this A LOT. Like what is the need for this constant tension in the air with these two? Why is it so awkward? Why does it feel like there is something they want to say but can’t bring themselves to say it?

It makes my mind want to fill in the blanks…

Here they are saying flatly that it feels like an obligation. This is the closest they’ve gotten to really talking about how their dynamic has changed. It’s very sweet. It’d also be due to outside factors, like DC not knowing what to do with these two and refusing to let these two acknowledge that they are not best friends anymore and their lives have changed greatly. The thing about Superhero comics is that there’s so much fighting that the characters never get a chance to sit and just talk so it’s more the writers constantly trying to cling on to what they remember the Robin/Kid Flash dynamic to be and making it seem like these characters are clinging to their relationship.

Thry gush about the progress they make a lot and Wally feels like… I don’t know, his pride may fill the void the graysons left behind? Like he’s kind of a subtle replacement. It helps with my idea that Dick could be greiving his parents then quickly subconsciously seek and confide in Wally. Their relationship just is distinctly different from all their other friends in a way I can never pin down or the writers refuse to acknowledge. How Dick is much closer to Donna and Roy but they both still are mindlessly attached to one another like there’s this secret third thing keeping them together.

Wally has fully moved on and found his soulmate. Dick found Kory and fell pathetically in love but now he has nothing again and in canon still does this “Oh my best best friend to ever was, Wally~” It feels very much like someone hasn’t gotten over their little break up… 🙄 Even now they still comfort and talk about each other with a little bit more love and affection then they might do their other friends for this same weird reason.

Although, there’s one Wally West panel that Birdflash shippers had taken out of context: the one where Wally says “I got married and he didn’t.”

It’s not saying that Wally wishes he got married to Dick, 😭 but even then that goes into the little foulder of evidence that proves I think Wally and Dick’s relationship is ex-coded because it’s literally a bunch of thought bubbles about how Wally is heartbroken that he has moved on with his life and his life with Dick and they are no longer as close as they once were at all. (I can’t fit the panel in this post so I can just hope you know what I’m talking about) <- but my point is: Birdflash as a ship could be so much better if we stopped ignoring Linda and started treating them as exes instead. It’s so much more interesting. This is what I mean when I say they are my favorite exes.

[crystallizsch]

these valentines day cards for scarabia got me blushing, giggling, and kicking my feet fr (also featuring me unnecessarily analyzing them) (i really hope the cards are in the right order i think they are or else everything that i say here will look incredibly silly)

━━━━━━━━━━━━✦ kalim al-asim:

To my dear friend— Thanks for the present! What colorful and sparkly sweets. They look delicious! I just had an idea! How about we eat them together after school? Gifts like this taste better when shared, after all. I'll pick out a good tea to go with them. Can't wait to see you later! ━━━━━━━━━━━━✦

To my dear friend— Thanks for the gift! It's flattering to know you picked this out for me! I'll treat you to anything you like in return—food, live entertainment, an item you've been pining after... You just say the word. ...On second thought, no. I'll come up with something myself! Just like you came up with this gift to give me. ━━━━━━━━━━━━✦

Hey love, Thank you for that wonderful gift! Getting something like this from you just put a smile on my face! Let me throw you a feast to show my gratitude! After that, I'll take you on a magic carpet ride, it'll be really fun! ━━━━━━━━━━━━✦

SO LET ME TALK ABOUT THE PROGRESSION BETWEEN THE CARDS???

on kalim's first card, it's really cute but it also feels just like his usual demeanor where he treats everyone as a friend.

but on to the second card, it looks like he's definitely feeling more strongly enough about you to think "hey let me get you something too!! let me be your genie of the lamp!" at least right before realizing it would be more meaningful to give you a surprise gift as well like you did.

his "dear friend" on the second card is more real this time.

BUT OMG THE WHIPLASH TO THE THIRD CARD

"HEY LOVE" ???? KALIM WHAT WHEN I TELL YOU MY HEART JUST WENT HFDSNSFHDJFDK PLSS HE CANT DO THIS TO ME 💀💀💀 THE "MY DEAR FRIEND" -> "HEY LOVE" PROGRESSION YOUR HONOR HE IS IN LOVE(???) NO IT’S PROBABLY JUST A REALLY AFFECTIONATE TERM OF ENDEARMENT CONSIDERING THAT IT’S KALIM (*denial* *denial* *denial*)

the closest ones (that are available) to doing something similar is jade who goes from "my good friend" -> "my dearest" and vil who goes from "dearest friend" to "my dear"

anyways, the third card is kalim finally wanting to go ALL OUT as a way to show you how he feels about you and how thankful he is. he's literally all about having fun with the person he cares about. making every moment memorable.

kalim's love language is also very much extravagant gifts since he's raised in a wealthy family where everything has been handed to him. that's probably how he got the mindset that gifts are the way to show love and affection because that's how his family did it for him. so the bigger the gift the better he can show you how he feels.

━━━━━━━━━━━━✦ jamil viper:

Hello— I was surprised to see you gifted me sweets. At first I wondered if you were hinting for me to make you something similar... But when I pulled the gift out of the bag, I saw all the details you put into it, right down to the ribbon. It's clear this was a heartfelt gesture. I'll treasure these treats as I eat them. Thank you. ━━━━━━━━━━━━✦

Hello— I'll admit it. I'm beyond surprised. I suppose a heartfelt "thank you" is in order. In fact, why don't we meet at the school store after class tomorrow? Hopefully I'll be able to find you something to return the favor. ━━━━━━━━━━━━✦

Dear friend, Thank you for the gift. To think I would receive something from you... Well, it caught me off guard. I'd like to give you something in return. Hmm... What should it be? What might you like? Why don't you come down to Scarabia sometime and we'll discuss over a cup of tea. ━━━━━━━━━━━━✦

jamillll;;;

on the first card, he was suspicious of receiving a gift. at first he's like "are you just giving me something so i could give you something as well?" until he realized "oh this is legit" and that you’re not expecting anything back. and then he just enjoys it which is hella cute.

on the second card (unlike the last one) he's now like "let me get you something in return because i really appreciate the gesture". here i think he's still genuinely confused that you still decided to give him a gift. but at this point it feels like he's only offering to get you something in return because he feels like he has to just to show his gratitude. kinda like a fair transaction.

it seems that jamil is still like "why me". like, you cared enough to see and acknowledge him to even consider getting him a gift. which i believe is something he's not used to. so he just wants to "return the favor" by offering you to go find something you like :)

and the third card;;;

"DEAR FRIEND" GOT. MEEE. YOUR HONOR I LOVE HIMMMMM

i know for other people "friend" is not on the same level as the romantic "love" but i personally feel as strong with platonic relationships as with romantic ones (if not more) and this hit me HARD.

for the third one he's finally comfortable enough to consider you a friend. but he still sounds flabbergasted that you still even thought of him (and **you** specifically) (like he didn't imagine that you'd even give him a gift).

and now this is less of a transaction but more of like he *wants* to make sure that he gets you something that you'd really like. it's not simply just "hey let's go to the school store and see what's available as a thanks", this time it's "hey i really appreciate that you got me something so let's discuss what i can get you as well. i'll be your genie of the lamp, anything is possible (within reason)"

(original twitter thread with these cards)

[cerealmonster15]

haikaveh... save me haikaveh...

i KNOW it's been talked about to death but. the haikaveh research project. it literally haunts my mind. i cannot get over the implications. alhaitham going through his school life as someone that most people dont even really know about because he keeps to himself and doesn't socialize, with kaveh being the one exception to that, finding his way into his life as his Best Friend, and then leading to alhaithams one and only time he participated in a research topic. his bio says he only ever did ONE joint project!!! one!!! the one with kaveh his best friend and i think also his only friend at the time!!!! and then it ended in not only the project falling apart but also alhaithams only friendship. kavehs best friendship. they were each others closest person. they had no family around - alhaithams parents having died when he was young and his grandmother dying before he joined the akademiya, and kaveh's dad dying when he was young and his mom having moved to fontaine. like even if you dont look at it through a romantic lens it's still undeniable how important they were [and are] to each other..........

i'm getting off track but my point is very specifically for alhaitham, the one time he got close to someone, made a friend, even agreed to join one(1) group project ever, it ended in disaster. it led him into a fight so bad that his one and only friend said he regretted that friendship!!!! it was so bad alhaitham left the project and he and kaveh didnt speak for ages until they just happened to run into each other again at the tavern!!!!! like obviously it has to be incredibly awful for both of them but i just think how this probably had alhaitham in the cynical mindset that friendships and collaborations like that might just never work out for him because the one time he let someone into his life, it blew up on him and he was all alone again. even though alhaitham never seems to care much if people dont like him, that clearly cant still apply to someone he was exceptionally close to. like if he didnt care he woudlnt have been the one to take his name off the project and mutually not speak to kaveh...... kavehs words are the ones that hit the most significantly to alhaitham.......... kaveh is said/implied to have had at least some other friends while at school / people knew who he was, but not so much alhaitham. people didnt know him and the ones that did just knew he didnt socialize/he was not easy to get along with. he only had kaveh and then, for a while, he lost him too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[sanguinewolves]

still having a crisis bc idk if im feeling Friend Emotions or Romance Emotions abt one of my friends ugh

[calamitoustide]

does anyone know that one good mythical morning clip where Link says he'll give something to "one of his significant others" making everyone go quiet before he says he means his daughter. yeah that's james btw

[im-still-watching-anime]

man does anyone else just constantly forget neji died?? i was rewatching the war arc and got to it like HUH OH YEAH like i remember shikaku and inoichi more than him because i just didn’t like the writing for his and repressed it too much so now whenever i see any reference to it my brain blue screens for like 20 seconds straight

[bitchfitch]

I wanted to get a feeling for Vincent's Physicality and like. How he moves and would position himself and whatnot. And then tossed Lino at him to get a Vibe for Lino's character and posing and how the two of them would interact. But I Greatly dislike how little Lino is in this.

Most of my turbo twinks are 6ft+ for a reason I guess. I still want Lino to be on the dainty side since I don't make a lot of Properly dainty characters but I think I need to find a way to make him look less baby while keeping him dainty.

[titsthedamnseason]

oh my god i’ve been making fun of moffy and farrow for naming their son walsh for so long but bruh that’s farrow’s mom’s maiden name 😭😭😭 IM A BAD PERSON

[venomgender]

thinking about yoohankim again

[konfizry]

Anyway speaking of the sun did I ever tell you about the tales of arise eclipses

[vitamin-zeeth]

For my English course this year I wrote an essay on the debate of fine art vs contemporary art and I haven't reread it since I sent it in I wanna see if I can find this shit cause I have no clue what I ended up stating as my opinion

[cerealmonster15]

ive been watching sooo many vids of people doing doll restorations and doll customizations... making me both fight off the desperate urge to attempt New Hobby just because it Looks Fun and also resisting the urge to repurchase the fave barbie i had as a kid on ebay,,,,

[britneyshakespeare]

can’t stop intellectualizing about barbie

[andromedasummer]

huh, the amount of people who perceived themes other than eugenics and transhumanism in regards to evolution in phyrexia is very interesting to me