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#i would just like to. exist. as a person. and not have this shit continually happen.
sunnibits · 2 months
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is anyone else like a huge fan of various medias, huge fan of characters, loves exploring plots and themes and character development, genuinely very enthusiastic about storytelling in general… but like, somehow physically incapable of making plot lines you care about with your own original characters. or like straight up being unable to create ocs you’re actually invested in???
like, you know what you like, you enjoy so many stories, you spend so much time digging into and delighting in the themes and tropes you like, and yet every time you try to make an original concept yourself it’s just impossible to make something compelling to you???? which makes no damn sense bc it’s literally coming from your own head so wouldn’t it be as self indulgent and perfect for you as possible??????
or is this just a unique me problem bc I swear to god it’s driving me insane
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Mordecai probably lives in an apartment or something, but my first thought when you brought up the Caves on that post was that he won’t tell us because he’s been living in the Caves the Whole Time. Even tho he’d hate the slime mold.
yeah a Whole Damn House would be a bit much, and probably not as useful for the nightly bootlegging related goings on: see, freckle needing to stand around waiting for a ride before he can go shoot people. whereas mordecai can show up to the maribel hotel on foot, or at least have started out somewhere he could get a cab or whatever....and this is probably the closest to any relevant Living Situation Glimpses
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someplace with a bed, and one with an art deco headboard....a modern style, so it's neither Antique nor unfancy enough to have less identifiable stylings at all. like just by guessing surely he lives in some apartment that's unassuming enough to live unassumingly in, with whatever alias, so something large & fancy would be unhelpful....plus if he's gonna be fairly rigorous in his domestic upkeep, it wouldn't really help to have a huge place, even if for the same reasons it wouldn't be too small (or old or otherwise unpleasant; hard no to slime mold, slime, or mold....) and like re: the rotating aliases, maybe he moves places fairly regularly for good measure, been at this like, a decade....tl;dr probably has some apartment/s that's roomy but not huge, nice but not Fancy fancy, at the nexus of practicality, resources, and preferences
but it's important to think about "what if mordecai's been living in the caves the whole time" b/c that's funny lmao
#hey just now appreciating; closest we get to a t-shirt#thank you fashion shifts that said shirts originally worn as Underthings are now just for whenever: tees; tanks. i.e. ideals lol#and we do get tank top mordecai in all his ''officially debuting standing in the woods in underwear b/c he didn't parse Joking'' go off#this and that [morning routine] How are showers taken in the lackadaisy-verse? They are taken...in stride.#that one makes me laugh throughout. perfect quotidian suffering....right yeah lol ''the mundane tortures of existence''#mordecai and freckle as parallel [''unsociable'' guy constantly w/head in hands; sometimes w/gun in hands] is also always powerful & funny#perfect that they do meet over brunch & immediately; continuously; independently decline to interact w/each other at all#the power of distinctive characters in that there's no possible group/combo's interactions that would not be a delight#Living In The Caves could be a party if it was like given a real setup with furnishings and shit. depending....#i don't know anything about the environment of st. louis limestone caves#but yeah between potential Organisms & Dampness & the difficulty of having even your personal cave chamber be decidedly Clean....#i don't think he'd choose to be secretly living in the caves this whole time. sure: who would; yet he's truly a Least Likely contender lol#like rocky probably doesnt only to keep up enough of Any ''i totally have an apartment or smthng too'' appearances. a More Likely figure lo#lackadaisy#but if you move apartments do you have to move your art deco bed....however it's possible a) such furnishings come with the room#and b) he doesn't actually move around that much and c) if he does he just gets a whole new art deco bed like to hell with it#the speakeasy hitman's styled bed headboard biannual tax; as they say#looking up the history of the household vacuum. indeed the twenties are the prime time for the true onset / availability of that
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threadmonster · 7 months
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Do you ever think about how if a person got into a series/fandom after peak popularity they totally missed out? Not in a bad way, I just think getting to experience and participate in the explosion of a fandom is a totally fun and insane thing that might only happen to a person once. It's not just "a fandom" it's when the fandom of a series you totally love and resonate with happens.
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ectonurites · 7 months
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killing everything
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synthville · 2 years
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so what im getting is that it was absolutely unnecessary to isolate raffi on gotham city in order for her story to go on.
a story that’s so halfhearted that five episodes in—halfway to the end. btw—her motivation is yet to be explained (why go back to this sector of intelligence work when teaching seemed to be fulfilling? was she made to do this?? did she volunteer because her son now lives on this planet now apparently?? was losing elnor cris and possibly seven so painful that burying herself in work seemed like a better option??? who knows! not me!!) and it’s definitely a retreat character-wise but the fact that they still haven’t laid the groundwork to make this stick is kind of amazing lol. it’s the way they’re not even pretending to give a fuck about her or any of the other women characters for me—they said you’re a womb or a subordinate ladies pick one and shut the hell up LMAO?
the fact that the ‘real plot’ is happening on that other ship while everything raffi does is basically an afterthought with backstory slipped in between the cracks like aged caulk is so disheartening and pathetic. star trek picard make an effort maybe. she’s a polarizing character that’s been stuck in impossible situations, weighed down with retractions and stereotypes (they thread the line but HM) because the narrative continually refuses to meaningfully engage with her and a lot of fans of the show wont examine their own biases to see why they have such a viscerally negative reaction to a complicated black woman character that’s good at what she does, knows it and refuses to kneel at the foot of their hero’s :)
and if it wasn’t for ms hurd elevating this performance with sheer will, massive talent and the whip of that (sexy) ponytail? shit would be so much worse. but it’s still bad! because instead of giving her a nuanced, thoughtful send off she’s once again being made to suffer for the nth time. because why? oh right so wise man worf can guide her to the light lol give me a fuckin break.
and it’s no accident that if you cut raffi out (which they literally did in ep4 miss musiker you WILL be avenged) the story could more or less proceed as usual. that’s by design.
because legacy characters or not, im simply not buying that the main white cast members (plus two interlopers idgaf about those new guys and they’re doing nothing to make me care either. pick a random channel and their stories are being told right now live and in color like don’t piss me off) just so happen to be on the ship with the lead yet the sole woc is sent away on some underbaked adventure because ‘reasons?’ please. this season literally could not be more transparent about the audience they’re catering to and who/whose stories are of importance and consideration.
and i knew this would probably happen once the premise for s3 was revealed but i still can’t get over how obvious it is that there really was no plan for raffi and that she only happened to bypass the cull of the la sirena crew because she was romantically linked with seven at the time. which is baffling considering how things are (not) going between them (#theyareMARRIEDletthemTALKandKISSandREST)
and it’s not just them like everything about this season is quite literally happening just because. every slightly interesting or fresh development (and character it’s true) from the previous seasons has been dismissed or diminished and for what? secret sons and man pain? ew lmao. no suspense no lingering threads just excessive shots of ships, an aggressive insistence on biological families and rampant, shameless references to past glory. a mess.
#doing everyone so dirty but it’s fine because ‘familiar faces’ yeah okay 👍🏾#like can we all be serious for one second lol#they’re not even trying.#at least if this season was good i would somewhat understand why they snapped my faves out of existence but it’s literally not#feels insane to see so many people praise this#is this really where we are as an audience? nostalgia = good? really?#and the new characters they chose to add? come on#no space for rios but yall had space for TWO random white guys?#a christmas miracle!#like the kid is one thing but captain crunch ? they’re playing in my FACE#like i don’t even have any firm feelings about him because he’s pretty much a giant bore but#seeing all these allowances being made for him because of what he looks like whilst raffi continues to get shit on irks me so bad#like i knew it would happen ive been alive in the world lol but still#unsurprising but irritating af that captain crunch can sulk around in all his dickheaded glory#and it’s fine because he’s gods most traumatized baby boy but let raffi lash out once and it’s questions about her competence#and calls to have her removed like oh what’s the difference i wonder#‘men can laugh while a woman can only chuckle’ -godforbid she be black and self assured- like that person was preaching i fear!#if this sounds bitter it’s because i am <3#michelle hurd deserves so much better like someone pls get her a five season dramatic series on a prestige network asap!#looks at this dissertation i just wrote oops ain’t mean to rant like that but they forced my hand 😭#now to watch raffi’s spar scene on loop and forget about the show until thursday comes around and rattles my cage again lol#raffi musiker#.rfi#stpk
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lord-squiggletits · 1 year
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Onyx Prime = Shockwave time travel plot is such shitty writing I could and WILL (eventually) write multiple essays about it it's so fucking bad.
#squiggposting#for a brief preview of what i would be writing#1. time travel was done better in the same continuity by JRO#2. the plot by barber completely contradicted and undid most of the themes he was trying to build up#3. the plot introduced a lot of shit out of nowhere with no foreshadowing and had to be done via excessive exposition#4. it's just a really fucking bad logic loop that relies on a character doing things 4 THE EVULZ and not because he's like a person#can't believe ppl are actually defending it because 'oh it's silly lol'#it's not just silly it's stupid and it destroys most of the agency and drama of the rest of the story#including parts of the story that the same people who like S = onyx also praise as good writing#have higher standards for writers ffs don't accept shitty writing just because he made some points you agree with#genuinely don't understand it at all lmao#like barber made a whole story about the legacy of colonialism and how history is propagandistic and corrupt or whatever#and then introduced the big plot twist that actually it was all machinated by just one guy#hmmmm and here i thought this story was about responsibility and the way bigotry seeps into society's instutitions or something#NOPE actually the reason society is racist and imperialistic is because one guy went back in time and decided to make all of it happen#and the reason that guy wants a cybertronian empire is because he was raised during the golden age... which was brought about by the primes#...who were created by that very same guy. so like it's just an infinitely repeating circular logic error#in which this guy's motivations exist bc of the times he lived in but he literally invented the times he lived in
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verytendou · 8 months
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Idek what to say anymore if you cant be normal abt black people you genuinely need to die atp
#negative#i hate this school i hate this school i hate this school i hate this school i hate this school i hate this school i hate this school i hate-#THERES NO SAVING SOME OF YOU PEOPLE#LIKE HOLY SHIT SOME KIDS AT THIS SCHOOL ARE GENUINELY FUCKING INSANE#yes yes restorative justice but if youre blackmailing undocumented students to pay you or youll report them i just genuinely think you’ll#mever ever ever ever have anything to contribute to society and the world would be brighter if you didnt exist godbless#I JUST THINK IF YOU EVER FEEL YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO PUT YOUR HANDS ON AN AFROINDIGENOUS PERSON BC THEY ???? ASKED IF YOU LOVED THEIR SHIT???#BC THEYRE NEURODIVERGENT IN A WAY YOU CANT HANDLE????? BC THEY TELL YOU THE KPOP INDUSTRY IS ANTIBLACK????? IDK MAN#I JUST DONT THINK YOU HAVE ANYTHINGNTO CONTRIVUTE TO SOCIETY!!! I JUST THINK THE ENTIRE WORLD WOULD BE THAT MUCH BRIGHTER AND SAFER IF YOU#WERENT IN IT!!!!!!!!#I HATE THIS SCHOOL I HATE THIS SCHOOL I HATE THIS SCHOOL I HATE THIS SCHOOL I HATE THIS SCHOOL I HATE IT SO MUCH#this university and this country and everything that made the both of them are fucking evil and i HATE IT HERE!!!!!!!!!!#AND EVERYONE REGENT SHOULD DIE. IDGAF!!!! IDGAF!!!!! THIS INCLUDES THE STUDENT REGENTS YOURE BOTH NARCS AND CENTRISTS#AND ALEXIS DIDNT SPEND HER ENTIRE TERM PUTTING HER GODDAMN NECK OUT#FOR Y’ALL TO BE LIKE THIS AND I HATE THIS ENTIRE FUCKING SYSTEM#i need to get out of california. i just cant fucking do this anymore.#and its just so fucking bleak here. and idk talking to community organizers in california and having them say that as long as you live in CA#you’ll never truly escape the UC system and that the uc will continue to touch every part of your life bc theyre just sonfucking EVIL#and shes fucking right. why tf is there a LITERAL CHECKPOINT 30 minutes from my house now#ITS BC KF THESE MFS AND I HATE THEM#I HATE THEM !!!!! I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE i just really cant i need to be back in peru#i cant be here anymore man i really cant if i dont get this out of state job im just goijg back#for at least a year#at least#i hate this school. i hate academia. let me out LET ME OUT I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE LET ME OUT!!!!!!!!!!!#v.txt#i cant imagine anything else anymore incant imagine staying i cant imagine JUST FUCKING BEING HERE its so over
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obitoslay · 17 days
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Somebody commented on my hashimada fic asking for a looking for forgiveness update …. Feeling murderous
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starlooove · 4 months
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The reason y’all are so confused and baffled by fannita is that you still refuse to acknowledge how bad fatphobia is
#but to clarify#I don’t agree with her like she’s got a lot of internalized shit going on#but ppl saying they’re surprised she used to hold her tongue#or she didn’t realize she was also black or whatever#like no y’all treat fat people like shit and she clocked it#she wants to continue that cycle whilst also getting back at the ppl who benefited from it before her#the reason it seems so extreme and out there to you is bc u don’t understand how bad it was#like so many ppl saying ‘yes she was bullied but’#hold on right there#how much do you know about the bullying#bc the next words outta ur mouth are about to be some stupid common sense shit lmao#for example that person that was like nobody hated u bc u were fat it was the tarte tripe#fuck the tarte trip but also….can we be serious for 5 seconds?#don’t get me started on ppl using HER internalized racism to showcase their own to own her or some shit#like no I don’t think saying a darkskinned woman is on cocaine and would shoot up a school if she was white is correct to say actually#matter of fact that feels like some shit SHE would say#if that doesn’t explain it for you idk what will#like idk i feel like the reason there’s no productive convos on this is bc y’all still see her as a fat black Woman so y’all will still#treat her like shit and she KNOWS that - that’s what’s pissing her off sm#bc let’s be so so real rn#if some skinny lightskin was doing all this? cancelled for a week then it’s a ‘oh she was being real YALL cant expect’ yadda yadda#like ppl ignoring that there is colorism misogynoir and fatphobia factoring into how she’s treated bc it’s coming outta HER mouth is crazy#Like yes her problem is that she doesn’t get to be a shitty person bc of how she looks#and y’all are saying her looks have nothing to do with it she’s just a bad person#when we quite literally have decades hell entire lifespans of history proving that is not at all the cass#the way she looks didn’t change her public perception and y’all are tryna gaslight her and us by saying that perception never existed when#it’s that perception that made her want to change#and craziest part for her is that the audience she curates doesn’t tolerate that behavior bc due to that perception the ppl who feel safe#and accepted by her and her content are ppl like her- or at least like how she’s perceived#it’s like when ppl were surprised ppl didn’t fw Lizzo so quickly. like yeah the ppl she attracts don’t tolerate that behavior duh.
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be-good-to-bugs · 5 months
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itd be so cool if the shitty people in my life were not shitty and were actually slightly decent
#the bin#:/ i wanna stop feeling horrible abt shit with my sister but it makes me so angry and upset ALL the time#im so fucked up abt this. how could i not be. i guess. hhhhh. i dont know what to do. it sucks so much.#its so hard to deal with the aftermath of a deeply abusive relationship in general. and when you cant talk to anyone about it or tell#anyone who knows that person. and you have to continue to be nice or at least civil with them. probably forever.#that SUUUUCKS. she is so awful. shes always been awful. i want to heal from that experience but i feel like im still stuck#probably mostly because im literally physically stuck 1000 miles away from everyone else i know in a place where shes the only person i know#but even after that i think ill still feel so stuck. theres a lot of things she has that i really need to get from her before i do anything#that might make her mad at me. i want to delete our stupid chat full of uncomfortable shit vut thats gonna piss her off#she has a lot of pictures of me from when i was younger and those are pretty much the only pictures of me from then#i can barely even remember those years. id like to get those if i can. also i wanna see if i can convince her to delete all the weird videos#she took of me without my consent while i was having psychotic episodes bc like. what the fuck. AND i know she literally just shows them#to her friends and laughs at them bc shes told me she does. which is very upsetting. and if i can get her to delete them id feek so much#better and not be upset over that all the time#i just cant get iver how much she fucking sucks. she does so much fucked up shit and its so awful. why would she ever think its ok ti record#me when im not in a good headspace. without telling me. and then upload it to her snapchat also without telling me#i only found out about her doing that originally because she decided to show me some of the funny things people said about me on the#video i didnt even know existed and had no memory of what happened. she loves to claim shes so chill and nice and good about mental#illness and she understands it so much and would never ever do anything weird and ableist like that. and then does that.#i feel so much worse abiut myslef and all the behaviors i have caused by my myriad of mental shit specifically because of her#ugh i am so not looking forward to being in a car with her for 20 hours when i move. but thats how it has to be.
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leyiorr · 18 days
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i can't stop looking at her t-t-t-t, FACE!
mdni.
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satoru gojo is doomed.
why is he doomed, you ask? well, put bluntly, you, his girlfriend of five months, are driving him absolutely crazy.
crazy is an understatement, actually. insane, mad, mental, unhinged, deranged, bonkers - whatever you want to call it. he's holding on by a thread; the thinly woven string known as sanity growing ever weaker as the days roll by and turn into weeks.
of course, he's only blaming you. you hadn't actually done anything wrong.
you're the first relationship satoru's had in his life, and he'd be damned if some inappropriate thoughts ruin his chances with the love of his life. he'd never been happier - dating you gave him the kind of happiness he thought only existed in movies; the kind of giddiness of a child in a candy store.
he was devoted to you in every way, shape and form - you are everything he's dreamed of and more.
more.
that's right, you were more.
recently, you were the devil's temptation personified.
surprisingly, even after twenty-odd years of being one of the most attractive guys around, and having women throw themselves at him like he's some kind of greek deity, satoru is a virgin. i'll repeat that, he is a virgin. a fact that only suguru knows. a fact that he's neglected to tell his girlfriend.
he may have a flirtatious personality and the ability to charm ninety percent of the human race with one of his thousand-kilowatt smiles, but in truth, he had never dated anyone. ever. let alone got his dick in a pussy.
so when he starts wanting to go further, he's not sure how to bring it up without sounding like a horndog.
it all started when you wore a sleek black dress to one of your dates. it clung to your figure, fabric wrapping shamelessly around your every curve and tickling your midthigh at its end. and if that wasn't bad enough, it had a plunging neckline, giving the world - satoru specifically - an eyeful of the assets god gifted you with. your boobs were practically spilling out of your dress, the light catching your cleavage as you held his arm. he could feel himself salivating like some sort of perv. how was he supposed to focus with aphrodite's personal creation hanging off his arm?
his eyes began to drift to the flesh of your chest more than he'd like to admit. all sorts of r-rated scenarios ran through his head and he dared to entertain every. single. one. he could do so much with them, tease them, spit on them, pinch them, suck on them, put his dick between them-
“satoru?”
his gaze snaps back to your face at record speed. you notice how he's chewing his bottom lip, flush creeping onto his cheekbones and the tips of his ears. his hands are clammy; there's suddenly too little oxygen in his room.
“did you listen to anything i said?” your arms fold beneath your bosom and satoru almost implodes.
what do you expect him to do? the necklace around your neck has his initial on it, and it hovers over your tits almost mockingly. if it snapped, the letter would fall right between the valley of your breasts-
“satoru!”
he's choking on his saliva, apologizing profusely as he encourages you to continue your story - though he hasn't heard shit over the blood pumping loudly in his ears.
it's a battle no, a war between his rationality and his desires and he doesn't know which is winning. his rationality wins when he's around you - he just sucks in a breath and thugs it out, no matter how much his dick shouts at him. but in private, he's letting the desires win as his fists himself to the thought of you, your lips, your ass; your boobs.
the first time he sees you in a bikini he has to take a breather before he can get into a game of beach volleyball with you and the group.
(and even then he was struggling. every time you jumped for the ball the only thing he was looking at was your tits.)
he should be neutered. effective immediately.
it drags out for so long that you finally notice, and force him to talk to you about why he's avoiding you, and if you'd done anything wrong. but all you get is:
“baby, i'm so sorry- you're so pretty and i can't help myself. i didn't know how to bring up that i wanted to take our relationship to the next step, you mean the world to me and i'd hate to make you uncomfortable-” he trips and stumbles over his words-
“...is that it?”
and his eyes bug out of his head as he stares at you. weeks, months of agony over this and all you have to say is 'is that it'?
he doesn't even have chance to respond; to process your words before you're popping the top button of your blouse.
yeah, satoru gojo is doomed.
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A Week (He Will Take You)
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Danny moved to Gotham for school, while there he noticed that Gotham's ambient ecto was really murky for lack of a better word.
This didn't really affect him too much besides a mild headache every once in a while but that also just might be stress from all his school work so maybe not.
Anyway
This murky ecto seemed to effect the people who lived there or more importantly the ghosts,
They were visible to the human eye like most ghosts back in Amity but instead of looking very much like a ghost they still looked like humans if a bit off putting.
They all seemed to be continuing their normal lives as if still fully alive, with the people around them none the wiser.
Danny noticed this and began approaching them to figure out what was going on.
Apparently the murky ecto in the city had made it so that they were strong enough to still continue a somewhat normal life but not be able to cross over to the GZ.
In other words they were stuck in Gotham
Danny was the Ghost King so he could easily fix this problem, all he needed to do was give them a bit of pure ecto for around a week to fully stabilize them them then he would just open a portal into the GZ and they could cross over with all their things also transferring into the GZ for their new haunt.
Unfortunately this looked rather worrying to an outsider,
Imagine you're used to your neighbor being very outgoing so you and others see them a lot suddenly this man seems to appear in their life out of nowhere an at exactly one week, your neighbor and all their belongings in their home disappear no trace to be found.
You tell people and they begin saying the same story they knew someone and them a man with black hair and blue eyes appeared in their life, then they and all their things disappear in exactly one week.
Of course the police in Gotham do the bare minimum so they're no help.
But it starts to begin a trend, especially online.
"Oh careful or the blue eyed man will make you disappear in a week"
This of course after time catches the bats attention, Gordon had already given them all the information he had.
"Young adult early twenties, dark hair, blue eyes"
That was it.
The bats look into it and from their point of view Danny is a serial killer.
But they can't find the connection between all of his victims, they range from young children and the elderly from different backgrounds absolutely no connection,
Worrying enough he doesn't just make one person disappear he has taken entire families up to over a dozen, without anyone figuring out how he's doing it or why at all.
The disturbing thing also being that he seems to take everything in their home, leaving it like it has always been empty
Like no one had been living in it.
People have tried to take photos of Danny get some kind of evidence of his existence, but when they try to do it, it either comes out completely corrupted or their devise simply shuts down fully.
Danny of course has no clue what is happening he's just happy that he's able to help so many ghosts, and is trying not to fail his exams.
~
Danny leaving the house he just helped: "That went easier than I expected!"
Neighbor peeking from the window: "Shit it's that guy! "
~
Red Hood marching down into the cave: " The fucker took many from my territory without me even realizing it!"
~
Tim: "I'm pretty sure his kill count is nearing the hundreds and he just started like maybe 4 months ago, this is bad."
Barbara: " I think I got a theory, this matches up with the new school year beginning so maybe their not a Gotham native which narrows down my suspect list."
Bruce: "Hn."
Tim: "Yes thank you B for the insightful commentary"
~
Danny trying not to fall asleep while on his way to class: "Strange I keep seeing shadows following me, oh well must be the stress!"
Bats who are pretty sure Danny is the killer: "Has he done anything suspicious yet?"
~
Just an Idea
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2lizard2sister · 6 months
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hey what's up everyone it's Alice lizardsister I guess ive finally officially become a trans woman given that @staff nuked my blog WITH no warning! no email explanation! nothing! aside from the crime of existing as a trans woman on this site
anyone another big reminder that despite all their claims otherwise @staff really seems continued to be dedicated to singling out trans women while doing absolutely nothing about the rampant transmisogyny on here. this is on top of the racism present & @staff's deletion of black users on here & cleansing of different tags like the Ferguson one that goes back years before any of this as well - something that isn't personally targeted at me as a white woman, but something that i wouldn't feel right not mentioning as well
we'll see if i actually dedicate myself to rebuilding on this new blog / if i ever want to continue being on this website anymore, but i at least wanted to get the word out that @staff is still very much up to their bullshit. i would like to emphasize again that this came with absolutely zero prior warnings, zero email explanation on what i even did, and several hours later no response from staff when i sent into an inquiry on where my blog went
i'd like to say for any mutuals/friends on here who have worried that im doing okay and honestly am currently seeing the humor in the situation in just how blatant this shit is, and I appreciate everyone who's been wondering about me 💚
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heavenangelly · 3 months
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Knowing everything about the law but not being able to apply it/manifest
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The lotus: The lotus flower symbolizes rising from a dark place into beauty and rebirth, as this is precisely how a lotus flower grows. The lotus symbolizes the human Spiritual potential of transformation to the True (Divine) Self. -Google
I’m sure some of the people in this community, myself included, have learnt everything there is to possibly know about the law. You may even have notes and screenshots. But regardless of this, you just cannot apply. You want to change but you stay the same.
Why is this?
1. You lack belief in yourself. You love reading the posts, getting the short burst of motivation, getting ready to apply and change self, and then deflate when you see the 3d. So you consume and consume to get that feeling again, only to fall into the same cycle. You don’t think you can do it and you place the 3d on the pedestal, thinking that it is more real than imagination. You put your desires above you, hopeless that you’ll ever get them.
2. You don’t feel the burning desire to change; to be different. Some people may be lukewarm about their desires. They want it but they don’t want it enough to do something about it. Personally, when I want something really bad, I’d do anything in my power to have it. I’m burning with passion to get it, and in this case it would be to accept it and stay in that state. You have to want to be different. You have to feel like you’re burning with need to get what you want. You have to really want it. And this will act like a final push. You’d be dedicated and passionate about it. And if you’re not like that, if you are lukewarm, reevaluate why you want that thing. Fall back in love with it and actually having it instead of seeing it above you and unattainable.
3. Do you actually want it? You may feel a little resistance or dread towards your “desire” because it’s not something you actually want. It may be something that society has made you think you want. Go deep within and ask yourself if that’s actually something you want. Spend some time with yourself and see if it resonates with you, If you burn with passion for it. It doesn’t matter if society says you need it, this is YOUR reality and you decide if you need it or not.
How do I get out of this cycle?
1. Create a formula for how you’re going to manifest your desires. Take a few screenshots of your absolute favourite posts (5 posts maximum) that will remind you of how the law works and possibly motivate you. Put those in a note along with your formula
2. Now that you have created that, GET OFF OF TUMBLR. Do NOT consume anymore content. You know this shit. If you really need to, reread your screenshots and formula.
3. Constantly go back to your screenshots and formula if you doubt. If you have any questions, try to answer them yourself. You do know the law after all.
4. Try to have an end goal in mind. Like a routine you do everyday regarding manifestation or a time frame that will help you stay disciplined and motivated (but DO NOT focus too much on these things, focus more on fulfilment.) Do methods or anything you want, as long as you feel FULFILMENT it doesn’t matter what you do.
5. Have FUN. Do not make the law a chore for you. It’s so fun if you do the things you love and actually want to manifest and are dedicated to getting what you want, regardless of everything.
Reminder: Failure doesn’t exist. You can only “fail” if you stop persisting.
I really hope this post helped some of you, and I hope you take this to heart. You don’t have to live a life of cycles anymore if you don’t want to. Remember, you always choose what state you’re in. You’re always choosing to be something, to continue being something, to manifest something. Become unstoppable and undefeatable. You deserve this. I believe in you, now believe in yourself.
Now become like the lotus flower.
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How it's going as a trans person in Florida: Planned Parenthood, 26Health, and Spektrum Health have announced they have paused all gender affirming care.
To recap, DeSantis signed several anti-trans bills into law this week. Care is banned for minors, care is all but banned for adults, Don't Say Gay has been extended, children can be kidnapped from affirming parents by non-affirming family, and there is a bathroom bill that subjects trans folks to arrest for using government owned facilities, such as those in courthouses, airports, many stadiums and parks.
The adult effective ban was felt immediately. The main elements are:
signing at every visit an in-person informed consent form created by the state
all care come from physicians instead of nurse practitioners
no telemed for gender-affirming care
Currently, it is unknown if existing HRT prescriptions written by NPs will be honored by pharmacies. I personally know one person who was able to pick up testosterone yesterday, but I have also read many reports of folks being denied. I myself don't have a refill ready for another 10 days and will report back after I try my own pickup.
What's additionally dangerous is those of us, myself included, who get non-HRT prescriptions from our gender clinics now face the uncertainty of continuing of *all* of our medical care. Our health clinics are at risk of shuttering permanently as they lose major income, and many of us will lose STD meds, depression meds, heart meds, etc, etc.
When we say "this will kill us," it goes beyond suicide risk from forced detransition.
"But you can still get HRT from a physician."
So many suck or are outright hostile and the demand outstrips the supply. Before I found my NP-run clinic, one physician just decided to not call in my Rx, another was so shit at reading lab results, he thought I had hepatitis, and the third I had to threaten to kick in the teeth for trying to force too large a speculum in me.
Also, the state-required consent form has not been finalized and distributed yet, so at this point, everything has pretty much ground to a halt.
It was estimated that 80% of trans adults would lose their healthcare because of how many use providers like Planned Parenthood, but the impact seems even greater now.
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"You can get your non-gender care elsewhere still."
DeSantis recently signed a bill that allows healthcare professionals to discriminate against trans people.
Sure, we can try to find care elsewhere, but it will be a slow and expensive process, with no guarantees. It took me over 20 years to get my heart condition treated because of transphobic doctors.
What can I do as a trans Floridian?
Stay in communication with your clinic - many are working on getting physicians added to the roster to prescribe HRT. Lawsuits are being filed and it's possible the changes to adult care can be rolled back.
Continue to try to pick up your meds, but begin looking for care elsewhere, though. Inside and outside the state.
Remember that while telemed for gender affirming care has been banned, you can still cross state lines for care. See Erin's map of informed consent clinics.
Many people will turn to DIY, but be sure you are aware of the risks here, especially if on testosterone, which is a controlled substance.
What should I be worried about next as a trans Floridian?
I worry about the following next steps towards genocide:
Banning getting care out of state. This is from the anti-abortion playbook. They will likely start with kids again, but we've seen how quickly adult care gets axed.
Being declared mentally incompetent or a risk in some way. This could be anything from being barred from gun ownership to not being allowed to work for the government.
Being declared a de facto predator. This has already happened with the latest bathroom law (cis people can eject trans people from government owned single-gender facilities, with arrest as a penalty), so watch out for it being applied to privately-owned facilities. Watch for discussions of official lists of trans people.
Gender presentation enforcement laws, essentially banning "cross dressing". Laws that block or rollback documentation changes.
These all have historic precedence and are huge "I'm in danger" red flags.
What can I do as a cis person?
Amplify all this news. Talk frankly about how this is genocide. And donate what you can to trans mutual aid campaigns so people can travel to get healthcare or even leave the state.
Here's some articles to get started on building awareness:
Take care, everyone, of yourself and each other.
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daisukitoo · 1 year
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I am 40% of the way through Gideon the Ninth. There are no plot spoilers below.
What is refreshing about Gideon as a protagonist and POV character is that she is a jock. She fundamentally does not care about all this nerd shit going on, i.e. the entire setting and plot. She misses exposition, background, and other explanations because, as one person who starts explaining how magic works observes, "right, you're not even pretending to pay attention."
Most writers are writers, so this is not a common perspective for a book to hold. Plot-relevant details can be sprinkled freely because Gideon's narrative will see them and not even shrug before moving on.
GIdeon lacks the emotional and mental maturity to be a good person. She is not evil as such, just apparently unaware of the existence of moral implications. When we meet her, her motivation is to get out of this hick town and join the military, because fighting is glorious and cool and this hick town sucks. She likes weapons and fighting and working out and hot chicks. She fantasizes about leading military charges that bring death to new worlds and fuel necromantic rituals because that would mean hot goth babes would see how cool she is and be grateful. She does not dwell on the thought of worlds that apparently have never known death and her plan to look cool leading imperial invasions and killing enough people to fuel necromantic rituals. She does dwell on the thought of that prissy bitch from her high school having to see how cool and hot she is now that she's a war hero who gets medals and hot babes.
You as the reader can be carried along very quickly by this incurious perspective that does not think twice about things. You as the reader may want Gideon to backtrack and dwell on something or explore it further. The weirdness of the setting is more or less swept under the rug by Gideon's not noticing it. 98.5% of the children on a planet gone (died?), but Gideon doesn't devote a second sentence to boring backstory like that. What was that about galactic conquest, in a setting where the main weapons are swords and necromantic magic? How little advancement has there been in technology or magic in 10,000 years, despite a possibly continuous civilization that whole time? Or some references to what sound like dark ages? Damned if Gideon cares or even notices.
The necromancers are dying to talk shop about their powers. Gideon rolls her eyes and wants to talk to that woman about the cool flip she did, because Gideon wants to look cool doing flips during fights and have girls notice how cool she looks. Also her biceps. Gideon cannot pay attention for a full sentence on necromantic magic, but she does have a half-page to dwell on girls noticing how big her biceps are.
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