#i would argue we almost know him better than sirius

[moonlightspencie]

only like you can

Description: based on ‘already over’ by sabrina carpenter— ex boyfriend!james and reader just can’t seem to stay away from each other.

Pairing: James Potter x fem!Reader

Warnings: some suggestive content (pg-13 pretty much), angst with a happy ending, lily evans is mean in this one for the plot

Word Count: 7.9k

A/N: aging them up to allow for the suggestive content. they’ll be 19 in this (first year starts at 14 instead of 11)

here’s the playlist

Running through the halls as a first year with your brand new group of friends, you never would imagine you’d end up dating one of them. You definitely never thought you’d have a break-up with one of them.

But, you just had to fall for Jamie in your third year. And he just had to ask you out in fifth. You were blindsided by his confession in the best way, and falling into a relationship with your closest friend was as easy as falling asleep.

Overexcited hugs after he’d win a quidditch game turned into kisses. Whispers of goodnight as you headed off to different rooms turned into sneaking into one another’s beds. The casual ‘I love you’ between friends turned into a kind of love that had both of you thinking about the future.

But, things changed again after a year.

Accusations started getting thrown around left and right. He’d say that you weren’t making time for him anymore. You’d argue that he seemed more interested in spending time with Lily. A back-and-forth would always spread like wildfire until you couldn’t breathe.

The break up was mostly mutual. You said you wanted it to happen, but you knew you were lying to yourself. He agreed, but it was only because he didn’t want you to know he was still invested. It left both of you putting happy faces over broken hearts, agreeing that you’d still be friends despite the fact that you knew you’d never get over him if he stuck around. But, never getting over him still felt better than losing him entirely.

You were sat in the common room, laughing over some dumb joke Sirius had made at Lucius Malfoy’s expense. The fire was blazing, keeping you all warm in the late-autumn that was otherwise freezing. You were next to James on the couch, Sirius was on the floor in front of the fire, and Remus and Peter were in a couple of chairs. It was nice. Cozy. But, coming down from your laughter, you let your head drop to the side, finding a familiar comfort.

Remus looked at you as you did, quirking a brow. You’d landed on James’ shoulder.

“You two back together?” he asked.

“Oh,” you said, quickly lifting your head again. “Sorry, Jamie.”

He shook his head. “It’s alright. Habit.”

You nodded. “Yeah.”

A tense silence fell over the small group. Then, James stood.

“I’m going to grab a sweater. Be right back,” he announced, walking towards the stairs.

You looked after him until he was out of your sight, turning your head to find three pairs of eyes on you.

“Love,” Sirius said cautiously, almost grimacing.

“I know,” you sighed, leaning back into the couch. “I know. I just— It’s hard.”

He sighed, moving from his spot to sit in James’ spot on the couch. He tossed an arm around your shoulders, squeezing you into his side a little.

“Might help if you two quit finding ways to be next to each other every time we go someplace,” he said quietly.

You nodded. “I know.”

“Why did you two break up if you both clearly want to be around each other all the time?” Peter asked, furrowing his brow.

“We weren’t good together.”

The three boys shot each other similar looks, knowing there was nothing they could say to help you in that moment. You merely sighed, staring into the fire as Remus tried to redirect the conversation.

James came back a minute later as they chatted over some fiasco in Potions class, a sour look on his face when he saw Sirius had taken his spot. His brow only set harder when he saw the arm around your shoulders. He sat in another chair, following your gaze into the fire, not wanting to look at his best friend and now-ex-girlfriend practically cuddling. It made him sick.

You didn’t feel much better, noticing him looking so downtrodden and being unable to kiss away that frown of his.

But you had to remind yourself of why you broke up in the first place. ‘It’s for the better’, you kept repeating to yourself in your head, trying to block out how badly you wanted to just talk to him. It was getting ridiculous, you knew that. It didn’t make it any easier, though.

“I think I’m ready for bed,” you mentioned after half an hour of sitting quietly.

A small chorus of ‘goodnight’ followed you to the stairs, and you trudged up to your room, feeling gloomy. You brushed your teeth, washed your face, and pulled on your pajamas. It was days like this that you were glad you got a single room for the year. You settled into your bed, cracking open the book on your nightstand to practice a little escapism. You were two chapters deep when you heard a knock on your door.

You crawled out of bed, rubbing your eyes as you went to open the door. When you pulled it open, your eyes went a little wider.

“Hey,” James said, looking shy.

You swallowed. “Oh. Hi.”

“Could we talk? Please?”

You contemplated it for a moment, trying to tell yourself it was a bad idea. But it was late. And you missed him. And you really didn’t want to turn him away.

“Yeah. Come in,” you said quietly, a small smile on your face.

He walked in slowly, unsure, as if he hadn’t spent the entirety of the past year sneaking in every other day. You looked at his back for a moment, noticing him with his hands up in front of his stomach.

“Don’t pick at your nails, Jamie,” you said, moving around him to sit on your bed.

He chuckled softly. “How’d you know? You couldn’t even see my hands.”

“How wouldn’t I know?”

His smile faded a bit at that. “Right.”

You sat quietly for a minute, practically hearing the gears turning in his head. He stared out the window in your room, his brows a little furrowed.

“What is it, James?”

His eyes snapped to yours. He sighed, looking at your bed.

“Can I sit?” he gestured next to you.

“Yeah,” you nodded, scooting to give him some more room.

He sat, looking around at anything but you.

“What’s up?”

He shrugged. “Uh, I don’t know. It’s probably nothing, you know.”

“You came to talk to me about it.”

“Yeah,” he nodded, chuckling to himself humorlessly. “I don’t want this to come across weird.”

“It’s fine, James. I’m used to you.”

He smiled, though it dropped quickly. “Is there something going on with you and Padfoot?”

Your eyes went wide, a laugh escaping you.

“Excuse me?”

“He took my spot on the couch. Kinda cuddling you.”

“James,” you said, getting his attention. “That’s insane. He sat with me because I was sad. He was being a friend, like every other time he’s hugged me or comforted me.”

He nodded, letting out a breath. “Sorry. Just got a little paranoid, I guess.”

“That’s okay. I get it.”

He swallowed. “Do you not want to be around me?”

“Why would you ask that? We agreed to be friends after…”

“I know, but I just don’t know how to act around you now.”

You took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I don’t know how to do this, either. We’re in a weird place, now.”

“Yeah,” he breathed out.

You looked at him for a moment, and he shot you another shy smile. It was strange to see him so timid, but you couldn’t help but smile back. Even acting so strangely, he was still the same old Jamie.

“Is that all? I’m pretty tired.”

He nodded. “Oh, yeah. That’s it. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. It’s okay.”

He started standing, and you walked him to the door. He suddenly pulled you into a hug, holding you tightly to his chest. You leaned into him, relishing in that feeling while you could. He pulled away, opening your door.

“Night, Jamie.”

“Goodnight,” he smiled, not moving.

He quickly leaned down, just barely pressing his lips to yours, but it was enough to send your heart fluttering. He pulled back as quickly as he leaned in, muttering a quick ‘sorry’ before leaving. You shut your door, the tension in your body finally releasing. You fell into a restless sleep that night.

The following week felt as difficult as the first week after the break up. Sirius and Remus would try to comfort you, and Peter would offer silly jokes to stop you from looking so sad all the time.

You’d gone to dinner with Remus and Peter after they’d pleaded with you that night, figuring you still needed to eat despite your feelings. No sense in making yourself feel even worse if you could help it.

Dinner was surprisingly good. You laughed with the two boys, almost forgetting about your troubles as you chatted with them. Until you heard a pretty loud mention of ‘James’ coming from a few people down the table.

You paused, listening when you heard his name come out of Lily’s mouth. You focused hard on your plate, hoping she’d keep up her volume. Yeah, it was probably wrong to snoop, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care all that much.

“… Maybe this weekend,” she said, a few giggles coming from her friends. “He always goes to Hogsmeade on Sunday afternoons.”

“Now that he doesn’t have that girl hanging on him, you actually might have a chance,” one of her friends added in, to which you clenched your jaw in annoyance.

“Maybe. He’s been pretty off since they broke up.”

“Good,” another girl added. “It probably means he needs a reason to move on.”

You decided you’d heard enough, standing from your spot.

“Where are you going?” Peter asked, looking to Remus with a frown.

“Common room. I’ll see you guys soon,” you said, waving a goodbye to both boys.

You were fuming as you walked back to the common room. It hurt more than you thought it would to think about him with anyone else, but especially her. You’d never been too sure about her intentions with the friendship she had with James, and this just solidified your concerns. Not to mention, her friends clearly didn’t like you. You didn’t even know them, and they had to nerve to talk about you like you were merely an inconvenience the whole time. You were stewing in that feeling, trying not to let it affect you too much, and failing miserably. You didn’t even notice your name being called behind you.

“Y/N,” he called again.

You looked up, turning towards James’ voice. His face dropped when he saw you.

“Hey,” he said, rushing forward to you. “What’s wrong?”

You shook your head. “Just upset.”

“Why?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

He sighed, leaning over to catch your eye. You chewed on your lip, the pit in your stomach only growing. You couldn’t stop thinking about Lily’s plan for the weekend, especially now that you were face to face with him.

“It matters to me,” he said softly. “Please? I just want to help.”

“You can’t help, Jamie,” you shook your head.

He was silent for a moment, thinking. You fiddled with your hands, looking down at your shoes. He called your name again, quietly, to get your attention. You looked up, heart still fluttering when you looked in his eyes.

“How about we go steal some of Mooney’s chocolate and just sit for a while?” he offered. “Then, maybe we can talk later?”

You couldn’t help but smile a little at the suggestion. You didn’t even think it could be considered stealing anymore. Remus always stocked up extra on his desk, knowing his roommates were prone to grabbing some every now and then.

“I’m taking that smile as a ‘yes’,” he said, a smile growing on his own face. “Come on.”

You walked alongside him as you headed towards Gryffindor tower, holding yourself back from taking his hand. Particularly flexing your self-control muscle when his fingers would brush softly against the back of your hand.

“You know, he just got some with caramel in the middle,” James mentioned as you climbed the stairs.

“Yeah? Are they any good?”

“Mm,” he nodded enthusiastically. “Very. I think you’ll like them.”

You laughed. “Sounds like you do, doesn’t it?”

He snorted a laugh. “How’d you tell?”

“It’s my sixth sense.”

“Sure, it is,” he responded. “I always thought it was knowing when I was picking at my nails.”

“See, that’s just me knowing you after all these years. Bit different.”

He chuckled, saying the password to let you into the common room. The portrait swung open, and he snuck you up to the boys’ shared room.

“Here we are,” he said mischievously, walking towards Mooney’s desk.

You shut the dorm door, walking over as he handed you a few chocolates.

“Thank you.”

“Thank Mooney,” he said, smirking. “Let’s sit. Come on.”

You took a breath, sitting with him on his bed. It all felt okay, until you remembered why you were there in the first place.

You opened the wrapping on one of the chocolates, popping it in your mouth silently. James watched you, sighing softly when you didn’t say anything after a few minutes.

“Don’t like when you’re quiet like this,” he mumbled. “Scares me.”

“Scares you?” you questioned.

“Well, last time you were quiet like this, we had a conversation that…” he shrugged. “It wasn’t very fun, was it?”

You hummed. ‘Not very fun’ was an understatement. The day you broke up, you sobbed until you threw up.

“Sorry,” you said. “I could start yelling if you’d like?”

He laughed. “Don’t think I’d like that much, either.”

You smiled, though it was half-hearted. He could tell.

“You sure you don’t want to talk about it?”

You shrugged. “I’ll just have to get over it. I don’t think there’s much to talk about, honestly.”

“Alright,” he conceded. “Would it make you feel better to… I don’t know. Read?”

“You’d read?” you asked, amused.

“No, I’d made you read to me,” he said, nudging your shoulder with his.

“Don’t know if I’m up to that, right now.”

“Later?”

“When?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe tomorrow?”

“What’s today? Friday?”

He nodded. “Yeah.”

You considered it, liking the idea of spending more time with him despite how bad of an idea it was to be alone. Especially after last time.

Then, a worse idea came to mind.

“How about Sunday?”

He raised a brow. “Sunday?”

You nodded. “If that’s okay. I know that’s a Hogsmeade day, but everyone will be out of the castle. We’d get to sit by the fire in the common room. It would be nice and quiet.”

He cracked a small smile. “That does sound nice. Can I pick the book?”

“Of course,” you nodded.

You knew it was a little underhanded, taking him away from Hogsmeade for the day. It was really just a form of delaying the inevitable. He was bound to move on eventually. But why did it have to happen that weekend? He could wait a little bit longer, you reasoned.

Though, you still knew the real reason was that you would do anything to keep him from hanging off of someone else’s lips. You didn’t quite care if it was a bit selfish.

Saturday came and went. Sunday morning you woke up with a small smile on your face. Despite the fact that it may have been a bad idea to set aside alone time with your ex, especially just to get him away from another girl, it felt nice to relish in the familiarity of being with him.

Hours later you were curled up on the couch with James looking over your shoulder as you read to him. He’d make a stray comment here and there about the plot or laugh at the jokes, but was otherwise surprisingly tuned in. You were halfway through when he yawned.

“Tired?” you asked, pausing your reading to look up at him.

“A bit,” he shrugged. “Didn’t sleep much last night.”

“Oh.”

You furrowed your brow as you looked away, then glanced back at him.

“Everything okay?”

He nodded, a smile creeping onto his face. “Just too excited for you to read to me, I bet.”

You chuckled, ignoring the heat in your cheeks as you turned back towards the book, ready to start reading again. Then, he started shuffling around.

“What are you doing?” you asked with a sigh.

“Gonna lay down,” he shrugged, “Can I…”

He paused, scrunching up his face a bit. You watched him, questioning.

“Can you what?”

“Probably a bad idea,” he said shortly, shaking his head.

“Just tell me.”

He looked a little shy as he glanced at you. “Was gonna ask if I could lay on your lap.”

“Oh,” you said, nodding once. “Well, as long as you don’t try any funny business, I don’t see why not. It’s preferable to you putting your feet on me if you lay the opposite way.”

He laughed. “I suppose that’s true.”

He waited another moment, then started laying down, his head resting on your legs. Once he was comfortable, you started reading again. After a while, you weren’t even sure if he was awake anymore.

Even more time passed, and you heard him softly snoring, a smile on your face as you looked down at him, one of his hands having squeezed it’s way under your leg. You ran a hand through his hair absentmindedly, continuing your reading silently.

An hour later and you were finished with the book, your hand still brushing through his hair as a habit. You watched him for a few minutes, letting out a soft breath.

“Jamie,” you called quietly, the hand in his hair moving to brush across his cheek. “James.”

He stirred, groaning. “Mm?”

“You fell asleep,” you said with a grin. “I let you nap for a little over an hour, but if you want to sleep tonight you should probably wake up.”

He grumbled, rubbing at his eyes with his free hand. “Don’t wanna get up.”

“Always so grumpy when you wake up,” you mumbled, more to yourself than anything. “Come on, Jamie. We can go snag some tea or go for a walk or something.”

He sighed softly, stretching out a little bit before he started moving away from your legs, pulling his hand out from under your thigh. He started sitting up, not realizing he was terribly close to you until you were looking at one another, feeling his gentle breathing fan on your face. You swallowed, trying hard not to glance down at the lips you knew were soft and skilled.

He didn’t care to try so hard.

He leaned in before you knew what was happening, kissing you like it was the first time. His hand came up to cradle your face, tilting your head to allow him to deepen the kiss, his tongue soft against your lip as he waited for you to grant him access. It certainly didn’t take you long to oblige him.

He leaned his body into you, and eventually started pulling you underneath him, your head hitting the couch cushions as he settled in between your legs. It was all desperation and passion as his hand slipped up under your top, brushing over the fabric of your bra to squeeze gently at your breasts. You leaned into his touch, soft noises escaping you and going directly into his mouth.

You felt his chest heaving against your own as you kissed, his hips rolling against you, desperate for friction that he’d missed for so long. Desperate for you.

You bit at his lip, breaking away only to kiss down his jaw. He hummed softly in satisfaction, but grew impatient, moving to capture your lips with his own once again.

It was only when a real moan managed to leave you and linger in the air that his hand stopped groping at you. His lips slowed, and he finally broke away, catching his breath like he’d been underwater.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, the words rushed. “I shouldn’t have done that. Again.”

“Not your fault. I kissed you back.”

He chewed at his lip. “We should really stop this before it starts happening more.”

“We should,” you nodded.

He swallowed, eyes roaming over your face. You leaned up, capturing his lips again, this time gently. He allowed it, though this kiss lasted a much shorter time than the previous.

“Maybe we should take that walk,” you said, trying to break the tension.

“Might need to wait a few minutes, love,” he said, not-so-subtly glancing down at his pants.

You laughed, though you felt that funny feeling in your stomach when he called you ‘love’ again. You followed his gaze, raising your brows.

“Yeah. Probably don’t want to go around like that just in case. Not exactly hard to miss,” you snorted.

He rolled his eyes, sitting up straight. You watched him, moving to sit back up yourself. He stared ahead at the fireplace.

“Stop looking at me,” he said, not even glancing in your direction.

“What?” you laughed.

He glanced at you. “It’s not helping my little situation, you know?”

“Me looking at you is making it worse?”

“You existing is hard enough to ignore when I get like this,” he said with a laugh. “Not to mention when you can… You know. See it.”

“Well, I can’t exactly see it. You do still have pants on, you know?”

He chuckled, though he hid his face in his hands as his cheeks turned pink.

“Stop giving me ideas. It’s not fair, love.”

“Alright, alright,” you conceded, ignoring your own… feelings. “I’ll be quiet and look away.”

He nodded, shutting his eyes and letting his head loll back on the couch. You tried hard not to think about how effected he was, and tried even harder not to think about how effected you were. You stared at the window nearest to you, thinking about absolutely anything else. After a few minutes, he sighed.

“Okay. I think I’m good, now.”

You laughed, pulling him off of the couch and pulling on a sweater you’d brought along. You left the common room together, meandering in the halls talking about nothing. Before you knew it, more voices were joining your two in the corridors.

“Oh boy,” you said softly.

“What?”

You looked at James. “You really want to run into our friends right now?”

He hummed, then opened his mouth to speak. Only very briefly, though, as a familiar face came into view.

“James,” Lily beamed, ignoring your presence entirely. “We missed you in Hogsmeade. Why did you stay behind?”

James looked at you, quirking a brow curiously when she said ‘we missed you’. She’d never exactly been in the marauders group during Hogsmeade outings, and both of you knew it.

“Was just busy,” he shrugged.

“Too busy to hang out with us?”

“Who’s ‘us’?” James laughed. “Did you join in with the boys today?”

“No,” she shook her head. “Just… Thought it might be nice if you would have been around so we could have spent some time together.”

You held yourself back from rolling your eyes as she looked at him, twirling her hair almost cartoonishly as she spoke.

“Maybe some other time,” he said simply. “Had more important things to do today.”

“Aw,” she cooed, laughing to herself. “More important than me?”

You chimed in. “Ooh, with an ego like that, maybe you should try spending time with Sirius.”

James snorted a laugh, though Lily didn’t think it was quite so funny.

“At least I’m not hanging off my ex boyfriend.”

You furrowed your brow, ready to throw an insult right back at her.

“Why is that your business?” James said quickly. “We’re still friends. Friends are known to hang out, you know?”

She ripped her sour gaze from you, looking surprised that James would defend you. He didn’t give her time to reply, taking you by the arm and dragging you away from her before you did something he knew you’d regret. You huffed a sigh.

He started walking you towards the kitchens, you were sure, to get you some tea. You crossed your arms when he finally let you go, once again stewing in your annoyance.

“Trouble in paradise?” you asked, seemingly unable to hold your tongue.

“What?”

“Why did you defend me?” you asked. “I thought you and Evans were like… Involved.”

“Why would you think that?” he asked incredulously.

“After everything…” you stopped. “For one, she sure seems to think you’re an item. Or at least that you will be very soon.”

He sighed harshly. “I know you were always on edge about her, but you know I’ve never felt that way.”

“I was right to be on edge.”

“Why? I never would have done anything.”

You shrugged. “Freaked me out how much she liked you. And how much she hates me.”

“She doesn’t hate you.”

“Yes, she does. Her friends all gossip about me, you know? Like I’m just some obstacle standing in the way of you two getting together.”

“I don’t think that’s—”

“I heard it, James.”

He paused before you entered the kitchens, his brow set.

“What do you mean?”

You let out a breath. “Promise you won’t be mad at me?”

He merely raised his brows in question, waiting for your explanation.

“They were talking a few days ago during dinner and thought I couldn’t hear them. They were saying that you’d be easy to bag now that I’m not around and you’re, like… emotionally compromised.”

“Emotionally compromised?”

“Not in those words, but… Yeah. That was the jist of it.”

He shook his head. “Why would they say that?”

“Because she’s always been into you, James. It’s why I didn’t like you guys together all the time, it made me feel really insecure.”

He had the decency to look a little guilty before he perked back up.

“Wait, why would I be mad at you for that?”

You sighed, wishing you could avoid this particular bit about what you’d overheard.

“She, uh,” you looked away. “She was planning on making a move on you today. That’s why her friends were talking about you.”

“And?”

“And, I might have asked you to stay behind today because I knew about her plan.”

The wall to the side of you looked very interesting in that moment. So interesting, in fact, that you didn’t notice the smirk on James’ face until he started speaking.

“You made me stay back to read with you so Lily couldn’t try to… what? Stare at me all afternoon?”

You frowned deeper seeing the teasing look on his face.

“She’d probably try more than staring.”

“Oh? What, like snogging on the couch and letting me feel you up? Didn’t want something like that to happen?”

You smacked his arm. “Asshole.”

He shook his head, tucking you under his arm as he ushered you to the doors.

“Can’t believe you sabotaged her.”

“So you think—”

“I think it’s kinda hot.”

You bit back a smirk, shaking your head. “Shut up.”

Almost two weeks later and you felt more down than ever. After your tea, you’d had another conversation about how you really shouldn’t be alone like that. You knew it was for the best, but it still hurt to reinforce the idea that Sunday would be nothing more than a post-break up slip-up. James himself started to say it was mistake. He only stopped when he saw your face drop, changing his wording, but still meaning the same thing. You tried shaking it off, but you couldn’t stop the memories of how it felt to be under him again.

Though, it turned out that James wasn’t having it any easier.

“What’s been wrong with you, mate?” Remus asked, walking towards his bed.

James turned his head to look at his friend, his cheek still squished into the pillow.

“I don’t know. I just feel awful.”

Remus sat on the edge of his bed. “You’ve been really off the past two weeks. Something happen?”

James shrugged, not responding.

“You know you can talk to us? Better than rotting away in bed all day.”

“I don’t know, Mooney,” James said, shoving his face back into his pillow. “I just miss her.”

Remus huffed a sigh, patting his friend on the back.

“I know you do.” He readjusted his seat on the bed. “Have you talked to her about, well, anything?”

“Yeah, we tried,” James replied, though he knew that it didn’t exactly go to plan when he did. “Doesn’t make it hurt less.”

“Do you want to opt out of the prank tonight? The boys would understand if you didn’t want to be around her.”

“No,” he said quickly, lifting his head. “No. I want to be there.”

“Alright. You’ll have to get out of bed for that, you know?”

James snorted, pushing Remus off his bed.

“Ah, screw off, Moons.”

Remus chuckled to himself. “Dinner is starting soon if you want to eat. She’ll be there, but we can keep you guys apart.”

“I don’t think being apart is helping.”

Remus looked on, disagreeing, but not willing to argue. “Alright. Well, get ready. I’m going to walk over in ten minutes.”

Remus left the room, heading off to wait in common room to give James some privacy. He was leaned against the back of a couch, fiddling with the edge of his sweater, when you slid next to where he stood.

“Hey, Mooney.”

He smiled. “Hey.”

“Are you going to dinner soon? I was thinking of heading down.”

He nodded. “Waiting on Prongs.”

“Ah,” you nodded. “He okay? He wasn’t in Defense Against the Dark Arts today. Not like him to skip that class.”

Remus swallowed. “He’s been a little under the weather.”

“Oh. That’s too bad.”

“Yeah. He’ll be okay, though.”

You sighed. “Is he coming tonight, still?”

“Mhm,” he nodded. “Just asked him.”

“Okay.”

“Is that… Okay with you?”

You looked at him with wide eyes. “Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?”

He gave you a knowing look, nudging your arm with his own.

“You’ve been a little sad lately. I can tell,” he said quietly. “Think I know why, too.”

You hummed. “I’ll be fine. Just difficult right now.”

“If you ever need anything…”

“I know,” you laughed. “Promise I’ll tell you if I do.”

He smiled, turning back forward and crossing is arms. You waiting in a comfortable silence, though you stood noticeably straighter when James came down the stairs. He stuttered in his steps when he saw you, a shy smile immediately on his face.

“Hey.”

“Hey, Jamie,” you said, returning his smile.

Remus looked between the two of you seemingly in a staring contest for a few seconds before clearing his throat. You both looked at him, clearly a little embarrassed.

“Ready, you two?”

“Yeah,” you said as James merely nodded.

You walked to the great hall in an obviously-tense silence. Remus was starting to regret getting James out of bed, the whole group feeling a little awkward as neither of you could keep your eyes off each other.

“Geez,” Peter started, clearly not reading the room. “You two didn’t stare at each other this much when you were dating.”

Sirius slapped him on the shoulder, shaking his head. You were hoping they’d eat a little faster so that you didn’t have to sit across from James anymore, even though you never minded the view.

Your wish came true, but you weren’t sure if you were in a better position, now. You’d gone back to the boys’ dorm to plan out the prank: turning the black lake blue. What you hadn’t anticipated in this plan was that one of the more uptight prefects would be wandering around the lake when you’d done your magic on it.

You were currently running through the trees, trying to get out of the sight of the boy. Though, at some point James had taken your hand, dragging you behind him. You chocked it up to a force of habit, as you found yourself doing quite often since you’d broken up. But you weren’t sure how much you could blame on habit as he pinned your back against a tree, staring down at you like he was going to kiss you again.

“Jamie—”

“Shh,” he shook his head, bringing a finger to his lips.

You waited in a tension-filled silence, hearing footsteps zoom past, just far enough where you wouldn’t get caught if you stayed still. You stood and listened until you were sure you were in the clear. But James didn’t move.

“He’s gone,” you whispered.

“Yeah.”

“We could go.”

“We could,” he nodded in agreement.

You looked up at him, admiring his features lit up in the moonlight. Your next move you’d blame entirely on gravity. It was magnetic, the way you came together. Neither of your faults, really.

Or so you told yourself.

You kissed him against that tree for far too long, feeling giddy and breathless when you finally pulled away.

“Bad idea,” you stated.

“Really bad idea,” he nodded. “Couldn’t help being alone this time, though. I don’t think it’s our fault.”

You chuckled. “You sound like me.”

“Not a bad thing, I don’t think.”

You shrugged, looking at him with stars in your eyes. You tried thinking of anything to talk about to keep your mouth busy.

“Full moon is coming up.”

He nodded. “Yeah. Mooney started feeling a little sick this morning. Probably’ll get worse the next couple days.”

“Right. You three going with him, again?”

“Yeah,” he nodded again. “You’ll be there to patch us up if we need it, again?”

“Always.”

He smiled, eyes flicking down to your lips again.

“Jamie, don’t do that,” you shook your head.

“Why not? I’ve missed you so much.”

“I know,” you melted a little. “I have too, but if you keep looking at me like that, we won’t just be kissing.”

He raised his brows. “I wouldn’t mind that.”

You chuckled, a smile on his face as he watched you.

“That’s the kind of bad idea I think we couldn’t bounce back from so easily.”

He hummed, jokingly discontent. Though, he did plan on keeping the thought of what could have been in his head for when he was alone. He moved away from you, holding out his hand.

“Let’s go back inside, yeah?”

You nodded, taking his hand and letting him lead you back towards the castle. That Saturday morning he’d come back unscathed from their time during Remus’ transformation. They surprisingly all had, much to your delight. All that had to be down was getting Remus into bed so that he could sleep it off as the morning came around.

You walked into their room that afternoon to find Remus, passed out, tangled up in his blankets. You smiled, leaving a fresh cup of water on his nightstand for when he woke up. All of them seemed to be asleep. It had been a long night.

You leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to Remus’ forehead, then turned to leave.

“Y/N?”

You turned back around, replying in a quiet voice. “Oh. Hi, Jamie. Why are you awake?”

“Dunno. Just couldn’t sleep since we got back.”

You hummed. “I’m sorry.”

“S’okay,” he mumbled. “You do the work for potions yet?”

You shook your head. “No. Not yet.”

“Would it be okay if we…” he started asking, looking at you fully as he sat up. “I don’t understand it. I could use some help.”

You smiled softly. “Of course. I can go get my stuff—”

“I could just come with you,” he said quickly. “Don’t want to wake the others, anyway.”

You nodded. “Okay. Yeah, that’s fine.”

He trailed after you sleepily, and you wondered why he’d want to even try to write an essay running on no sleep. It seemed silly at best, and was outright counterproductive.

He sat in your bed, rubbing at his eyes as he tried listening to you explain what you needed to do for the essay.

“Jamie, I don’t think you’re absorbing any of this,” you said with a light laugh.

He cracked a small smile. “Your bed is too comfy. I always wanna fall asleep here.”

You sighed. “Why don’t you take a nap, then? I can finish my essay and help you when you wake up.”

“You sure you don’t want to lay down, too?”

You snorted. “That’s asking for trouble.”

“Just for a little? Promise I’ll do the work later,” he said, giving you wide, pleading eyes. “You always help me sleep better.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

You set aside your work, laying next to him, pulling a blanket over both of you. He smiled as you snuggled into the pillow.

“What?” you asked.

He shrugged, the smile stuck on his face. “Nothing.”

You closed your eyes, feeling his arms pull you into his chest, but choosing not to say anything about it.

You woke half an hour later, and, as promised, James worked on his essay with you.

It became habit. Every Saturday you’d meet up to work on homework. A way to be together without being together. You mostly held back from kissing him, but he couldn’t always say the same. Then, inevitably, every Sunday you’d feel your heartbreak as you’d have the same conversation about how bad of an idea it was to keep doing this every week.

But you couldn’t stop.

Another weekend, another opportunity to pretend like you the study date in James’ room wouldn’t take a turn. You sat across from him on his bed, a book and some parchment in front of you.

“I don’t know why we have to write an essay on centaurs, anyways,” you huffed. “I feel like we’ve already discussed everything we needed to in class.”

James shrugged. “At least it’s only two pages. Could be worse.”

You grumbled your dissent, shutting the book after you’d written only half a page. He looked up at you, a smirk on his lips at your dramatics. He rolled his eyes playfully at you, shutting his own book.

“Alright. Do you want to go over the History of Magic assignment?” he questioned.

“Not particularly.”

“Good,” he said with a breath. “I really didn’t want to either.”

You snorted. “Why’d you ask then?”

He shrugged, moving both bits of parchment and the books off to the side.

“Trying to find a reason not to kiss you.”

You rolled your eyes. “We both know that’s a bad idea.”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Hasn’t stopped us before, though, has it?”

You bit back a smile, not moving when he moved closer towards you. He reached a hand up, brushing his thumb over your bottom lip with the rest of his hand resting on your jaw. You watched him carefully, taking in the way his eyes sparkled as he looked at you in the warm lighting.

“Jamie…”

“Tell me you don’t want me to.”

You shook your head. “I can’t say that.”

He nodded, moving even closer, almost waiting for a sign that you’d push him away. That sign never came. He leaned in, ghosting his lips over yours until you took the lead, finally pressing against him. He pulled you into his lap immediately, arms holding you in like he was afraid you’d slip away from him if he didn’t. Your arms wrapped around his neck, one hand playing with the soft hair at his neck the way he always loved.

He smiled into your kiss, deepening it when you pushed up against him desperately.

Good things never seemed to last, though.

The door swung open suddenly, and you jumped away from James, clearly having been doing something you really shouldn’t have been. Sirius stared at the two of you, a look on his face that you seldom saw from him.

“We were just—” James started, but stopped immediately.

You were just what? There was no way to explain your way out of what Sirius had seen.

He shut the door behind him. Lingering near it with his arms crossed.

“Pads…” you said, unsure what you even wanted to say.

“You’ve got to stop this,” he said plainly, looking between you both. “Whatever this is, it needs to be done. The sneaking around was cute in the beginning, but I’m sick of it, now.”

Your stomach dropped, scooting even further away from where James sat stock-still on the bed.

Sirius sighed. “I love being your friend, both of you. But, Y/N, comforting you every time this happens is insane. Especially when you’re trying to pretend it isn’t because of you two holding on to each other when you clearly think you shouldn’t be.”

You nodded solemnly. He shifted his attention to James.

“I’ve had to listen to you cry yourself to sleep too many times, mate. It’s been months of this. You keep hurting yourselves and each other over and over again, and for what? An easy lay?”

“It’s not like that,” James said quickly.

“Then what is it?” Sirius asked pointedly.

You swallowed, turning to see James look like he was holding back tears as he stared back at his friend.

“I— I love her,” he said breathlessly. “You don’t know what this is like, Sirius. She’s my…”

You found yourself staring at him as he spoke, your heart beating out of your chest. You swallowed with a dry throat, unsure what to do. You felt frozen.

“You both agreed you couldn’t be together anymore, did you not?” Sirius asked, though not without a softness in his tone. “I’m sorry this is hard for you both, I am, but it’s been hard for the rest of us, too. We’re constantly wrapped up in trying to help you both out of this, but you keep going back behind our backs when you know it’s just hurting more.”

“I don’t know what to do,” James said, turning his gaze to you. “I don’t know what to do. I— I don’t know how I’m supposed to just be your friend. I don’t know how I’m supposed to pretend like I’m not in love with you. Like I haven’t imagined marrying you since we were fifteen. I don’t know why you wanted to break up.”

You felt tears sting your eyes. “You said you wanted to, too.”

“I lied,” he exclaimed. “I only said that because I was scared. I didn’t want to admit that I never wanted to leave you when you were telling me you didn’t think I was worth it anymore.”

Your mouth dropped open, tears falling down your cheeks. “I never said that.”

He opened his mouth to speak, then clamped it shut again. Before you had a chance to say anything else, he was launching himself out of bed, pushing past Sirius and out the door.

“Jamie—” you tried, though it fell on deaf ears.

You buried your face in your hands, letting your tears fall. You felt the bed dip next to you, Sirius’ arms curling around you and pulling you in. Your head fell on his shoulder as you cried.

“I didn’t know he didn’t… I thought he wanted things to end. I didn’t know he’s been so upset.”

His hand rubbed on your back. “You’ve both been holding onto this for too long. At this point, do you even want to be broken up?”

“We were always arguing together. The last two months we were together was nothing but going at each other.”

“What about now?”

You wiped your eyes, looking at him. “What do you mean?”

“Do you still think it’s for the best? Because you clearly can’t stay away from each other,” he said, then sighed. “Either you guys need to distance yourselves or get back together. I hate seeing you cry like this.”

“Even if I wanted to be with him, I don’t think it would work.”

“Why not?”

“He wouldn’t want—”

“He just told you he’s in love with you,” Sirius exclaimed. “He never stops talking about you and how much he misses you. He cries himself to sleep over you, and then dreams about you when he finally passes out. Of course he’d want to be with you, don’t be stupid.”

Your eyes widened. “Since when are you mean to me?”

“Since you started talking with no sense. You’re supposed to be the smart one out of all of us.”

You smiled, shaking your head as he laughed.

“Just, quit acting like you two aren’t crazy for each other. You have been since we were kids,” he said, shrugging in disbelief. “You need to talk to him. And I mean talk, not…” he raised a brow.

“Yeah, yeah. I know.”

“You know where he ran off to?”

“Probably that silly tree of his in the courtyard?”

He nodded. “That would be my guess.”

“Thanks, Siri,” you said, hugging him before you stood. “Wish me luck.”

“If either of you comes back crying, this better be the last time,” he said, hiding a smile with raised brows.

“I’ll do my best,” you smiled, leaving the room.

You were right about where he’d be. You walked up to James as he sat on the ground under the tree, staying quiet for a few moments as you breathed in the cold air.

“Why are you here?” he asked, looking straight ahead.

“Sirius talked some sense into me. He’s being surprisingly mature today. It’s scary.”

He nodded. “He does that on occasion.”

“I’m sorry,” you said.

He shrugged. “S’fine.”

“It’s not,” you replied, shaking your head. “I keep hurting you, and I hate that. I didn’t know it was that bad for you.”

“How couldn’t you?”

“When we had that conversation, when we broke up, I thought you’d be fine. I was convinced you’d be better off without me, and I thought that maybe we’d be better as friends. We wouldn’t stop arguing over stupid shit.”

“We could have worked it out.”

“We never talked about it.”

He sighed. “I guess.”

You let a silence wash over you for a minute, feeling him moving a little closer to you.

“It’s cold out here. You’re not dressed warm enough.”

“I’m fine. Not cold yet,” you said.

He hummed. “What did Sirius say?”

“Thinks we should either stay away from each other or get back together. Really, he told me those were the two options.”

“So you came out here to let me down easy for the last time?”

You reached out, touching his arm. He looked at you, furrowing his brows. You smiled softly.

“I was actually coming out to see if you hated me. In the hopes that you don’t—”

“That’s not funny.”

“I’m not joking.”

His face softened. “Don’t say that if you don’t mean it. Please.”

“Jamie, I never stopped loving you. I shouldn’t have ever… I wish we would have just talked about everything. I hate not being with you,” you confessed. “Like, shit, James, we started scheduling study dates just to be around each other. I’ve never seen you so passionate about homework.”

He laughed. “It was never the homework I was excited about.”

“Me either.”

He watched you carefully. “You’d… You actually want to try this again? Us?”

“If you’d have me.”

He let out a breath, hands moving to your face as his lips pressed against yours. This time entirely uncaring if anyone saw you. He pulled away, pressing several soft kisses to your cheeks and forehead until you were laughing, pushing him away slightly.

“You really, really mean it?” he asked.

“Obviously we’ll have to talk about this. We need to make sure we actually communicate this time around.”

“Anything for you, love.”

“But yeah, I mean it.”

He smiled brightly. “Evans is gonna be pissed when she sees us snogging in Hogsmeade this weekend.”

[my-castles-crumbling]

Disappointment

My wife has requested hurt/comfort jegulus, regulus comforting jamie, so here I am writing, because I would do anything for her (and also like let's be honest, it's not exactly a chore)

@slightly-unhinged-femme <3

-

"Fuck!" James exclaimed, throwing his Quidditch gloves against the wall of the Astronomy tower, almost making himself jump at the loud slapping sound they made.

Ten points. They had been ten points away from a win. Just one more time of getting the Quaffle through the goalpost, and they would've been champions.

"We're counting on you, James!"

"I've got ten galleons on you, Potter!"

"We need this win, James! Don't let us down!

The voices of people wishing him luck flowed quickly through his mind as he crumpled to the floor, head in his hands.

Don't let us down!

But he had. He'd let them down.

He could see the disappointment on his parents' faces, even as he saw them in the stands. He could sense Sirius's sadness as they hugged, both of their scarlet uniforms covered in sweat. He knew he'd fucked up. He'd disappointed them.

All he'd needed was one more goal.

The tears started falling as he replayed every aspect of the game, trying to think of when he could've scored. And there were so many mistakes he made. So many times he could've turned left instead of right, gone up instead of down. Merlin, it really was all his fault.

He didn't hear the footsteps approach until a hand rested on his shoulder.

"Jamie."

He would have known that voice anywhere. The voice of the only person he would ever let see him like this. The only person he wanted to see.

"I fucked up, Reggie," he mumbled, not even looking up.

"You're an idiot," Regulus replied, sliding down to sit with him.

Anyone who didn't know Regulus might have thought he was agreeing with James. But James knew him better. "Yeah?" he asked, chuckling through his tears. "Why am I an idiot this time?"

"Well first, those are dragonhide gloves," Regulus said disgustedly, gesturing to the gloves James had thrown.

James laughed again, wiping at his face.

"But second," Regulus said, softer now, "this isn't your fault."

"I'm the captain," James mumbled, resting his head against Regulus's shoulder, breathing in his comforting scent. "It was my job to-"

"It was your job to lead your team," Regulus interrupted, throwing James a stern look. "Did you lead your team?"

Silently, James nodded, knowing better than to argue.

"Exactly. McKinnon hit that Bludger so far it almost didn't come back! Smith scored from halfway down the Pitch! Sirius finally learned how to hold the damn bat! You led the best team in the damn league, James, and that's on you! And I'll kill you if you tell anyone I said you're the best, by the way," he added quickly as an afterthought.

"But we lost," James murmured, turning pink at the compliment.

"I caught the Snitch," Regulus shrugged, wrapping his green robes tighter over his body. "You lot may be the best team, but I'm the best Seeker."

James stared forward, allowing the words to sink in. "I should be happy for you," he whispered, guilt flooding through him all over again.

"As if I wouldn't have thrown a right fit if we'd lost," Regulus grinned, pressing a kiss to his head. I would've shut myself in my room and read poetry until you knocked down the door, like a right tit.

James snorted. "I...I feel like I let everyone down," he said, voicing the thought that ate at him. The thing that constantly made him worry.

"Well, did you let you down?" Regulus asked, grey eyes piercing through his misery. "Or did you try your hardest, and your talented, attractive, modest boyfriend just happened to beat your arse?"

Again he laughed. "Alright, point taken. I...I'm happy for you. I think."

"As you should be," Regulus laughed, but his tone was teasing.

James smiled, looking at Regulus with admiration.

"By the way," Regulus added softly, pressing another kiss to James's lips, "you didn't let anyone down. We love you for you, James. Not how many points you get in a stupid Quidditch Match."

[deatheaterv]

could you write something about sirius and remus fighting over who should get to ask the reader out, but what they dont know is that she is dating snape, and she doesnt particularly like either remus or sirius because of how they treated snape when they were younger?

OUT OF THEIR REACH

pairing : severus snape x fem!reader

genre : hurt-comfort, fluff

summary : as in the request

sirius crossed his arms, leaning back against the kitchen counter in grimmauld place, glaring at remus. “i’m just saying, moony, you’d bore her to tears. she needs someone who can actually make her laugh, someone fun.”

remus rolled his eyes, flipping through the pages of the book he wasn’t actually reading. “and i suppose you think you’re the obvious choice? she’d see through your… what is it you call it? charm? in about five minutes. she’s intelligent, sirius. she’d want someone who can keep up with her, not a childish prat who thinks barking at strangers is a valid conversation starter.”

“oh, right, because you’re so much better,” sirius snapped, pushing off the counter. “you think she’s going to fall for your brooding, tortured act? please. she deserves someone who can bring her some excitement, not books and lectures.”

“books and lectures?” remus raised an eyebrow. “this from the man who can’t hold a conversation without turning it into a story about himself? maybe if you’d listened to her for once instead of showing off, you’d realize she’s not interested in your theatrics.”

“and she’s interested in you?” sirius shot back, stepping closer. “you can’t even muster the nerve to talk to her properly, remus. at least i’ve got the guts to-”

“both of you, stop.”

your voice cut through the room like a cold breeze, and they both froze, turning toward you with matching expressions of guilt and surprise. you stood in the doorway, arms crossed, your gaze moving between them with an expression that wasn’t quite anger but certainly wasn’t amusement either.

“are you two seriously arguing over me?” you asked, your tone sharp.

“uh,” sirius started, but you held up a hand to silence him.

“don’t bother denying it,” you said. “i heard everything.”

remus cleared his throat, looking thoroughly embarrassed. “it wasn’t… well, i suppose it was…”

“pathetic,” you finished for him, shaking your head. “do you even hear yourselves? fighting over who ‘gets’ to ask me out, as if i’m some prize to be won. did it ever occur to either of you to, i don’t know, ask if i’m even interested?”

sirius opened his mouth, but you didn’t give him the chance to speak. “for the record, i’m not,” you said firmly, your eyes narrowing at both of them. “not in either of you.”

remus looked like he wanted to sink into the floor, and sirius actually winced, which would’ve been satisfying if you weren’t so irritated.

“i know what you were like in school,” you continued, your tone colder now. “the way you treated people who didn’t fit into your little group. you think i’d forget that? you think he would?”

remus blinked, and sirius frowned. “he? who’s…”

“oh, for merlin’s sake, snape,” you snapped, crossing your arms tighter. “the man you bullied relentlessly for years. the man who, by the way, happens to be my boyfriend.”

the silence that followed was almost deafening. sirius’s jaw actually dropped, and remus looked like he’d been slapped.

“snape?” sirius repeated, his voice a mixture of disbelief and horror. “you’re dating snivellus?”

your glare could’ve frozen fire. “call him that again, and you’ll regret it.”

remus held up a hand, his expression somewhere between awkward and apologetic. “i think what sirius means is… we didn’t know.”

“no,” you said flatly. “you didn’t. because neither of you bothered to pay attention to anything other than your own egos. maybe if you had, you’d realize i’m not the kind of person who’d fall for a pair of self-absorbed gits who spent their youth making someone else’s life miserable.”

sirius opened his mouth again, but remus wisely elbowed him before he could speak.

“i think we owe you an apology,” remus said quietly, his tone genuine.

you studied him for a moment before giving a small nod. “you do. and him too.”

with that, you turned on your heel and walked out of the room, leaving them standing there in stunned silence.

“snape,” sirius muttered under his breath, shaking his head. “bloody hell.”

“you deserved that,” remus said simply, and sirius shot him a glare.

“like you didn’t?”

neither of them argued after that.

[psychoticallykind]

Jegumas Day Four - Buying Gifts

1,219 words

@noblehouseofgay

--------------------------------------------------------------

“You’re pouting.”

“I am not.”

“Yes, you are,” Sirius insists. He gives Regulus a knowing look. “You have been all week. What did James do?”

“Nothing,” Regulus mumbles.

“Reggie.” Sirius pokes him in the side. “Come on, tell me. You guys never fight, so it must be something big. What’d he do? Forget to put the dishes away? Miss date night?”

“Nothing, Sirius, drop it.”

“Leave for work without giving you a hug? Work too late and miss dinner?”

Regulus rolls his eyes but notices Remus wince. “What’s wrong, Lupin?”

Remus ignores him in favor of leaning forward and grabbing Sirius’s hand. “Sweetheart, I said I was sorry. I am sorry. I meant to call and let you know.”

“Yeah, I know.” Sirius smiles, but it’s nowhere near the usual adoring grin Remus usually gets. Regulus is almost impressed - he didn’t think Sirius could look upset with Remus. “And I told you it’s okay, Moony. Don’t worry about it.”

Regulus narrows his eyes, not thrilled with the idea that Remus has been forgetting Sirius. “Are you saying Remus has done those things?”

There’s a beat of silence, during which Remus’s eyes don’t leave Sirius, and Sirius doesn’t look at Remus. Instead, he turns to Regulus with a bright - and, Regulus knows, forced - smile. “Not the point. What did dear Prongs do to make you so sullen this week?”

Regulus almost doesn’t answer - almost pushes the issue, because now that he’s paying attention, he’s realized that Sirius is upset with Remus. Upset in a way that he didn’t notice, because it isn’t dramatic. It’s quiet, and dismissed, and that’s actually worse.

But Sirius catches his eyes, shakes his head the smallest amount, and Regulus understands - not here.

“He isn’t buying me Christmas presents,” Regulus admits, automatically frowning at the thought. Given, it’s his own fault, but still.

Sirius looks confused. “What are you talking about? James loves buying you presents.”

“I know,” Regulus agrees. He makes a face. “We may have argued about it. And I may have told him that he was excessive. And that he needed to stop buying me presents.” Regulus sucks his lips in, biting down before admitting, “And I may have told him that if he bought me Christmas presents, I would be very upset with him for not respecting my request.”

“So you told him not to buy you presents, and he agreed, and now you’re upset that he isn’t buying you presents?” Remus asks.

Regulus glares. “Don’t talk to me like I’m a child.”

“I’m not!” Remus lifts his hands in surrender. “I’m just saying -”

“I’d rather you don’t say anything, actually,” Regulus cuts him off, and it’s not because he’s upset Sirius. Except it is, and from the way the corner of Sirius’s mouth ticks up Regulus knows he can tell.

“Reggie,” Sirius draws his attention. “I was there for that argument. You were drunk, and you didn’t mean it.”

“But he doesn’t know that,” Regulus huffs. “I just - I thought he knew, but then I realized that he’s been buying presents all month. They come in the mail, or he buys them and puts them in the closet. All month, Sirius.”

“Okay?” Sirius shakes his head, visibly lost. “And?”

“And he hasn’t bought any for me!”

“Maybe he’s waiting until the last minute,” Remus offers.

Regulus sends him an unimpressed look. “Some people are better at relationships than that. You know, the ones who put in a correct amount of effort.”

Remus’s eyes flicker back to Sirius at the words. “I’m trying.”

The words are quiet - meant for his brother, he knows but doesn’t care. “Try harder.”

“Are you sure he hasn’t just hidden them?” Sirius asks, completely ignoring them.

Regulus shakes his head. “I looked everywhere. He keeps all the presents in one spot, and I’ve seen all of them. He talks about them, he’s gotten my opinion - Sirius, I’ve looked. There are no gifts for me in our apartment.” He takes a deep breath. “Which is fine. It’s fine. Except it’s James, and he loves giving people gifts because it’s how he shows he cares - not that I need them, but it’s like he’s giving up on showing me he cares and I don’t want James to give up on me.”

He’s near tears by the end, blinking harshly to keep any from falling. He can’t look at Sirius anymore - he doesn’t want to look at anyone. Not knowing that he was so difficult that James actually listened. He was doing less, trying less. Caring less.

Regulus didn’t want James to do less. James was extra and excessive and incessant in the way he loved, and Regulus loved it. It made him feel wanted. So it wasn’t about the presents. It was about the fact that James was doing less. It was that Regulus was scared he’d actually managed to push James away this time, and he didn’t know how to fix it.

“Come on,” Sirius sounds determined, standing up and gesturing for Regulus to follow him as he walks away.

Regulus does, not sure what they’re doing as Sirius leads him to the guest room and opens the closet.

Sirius gestures inside. “What do you see?”

“Presents,” Regulus replies. “But that’s not - Sirius, I’m talking about James.”

“Yeah, these are all from him.” Sirius picks one up and holds it out. “To you. He hid them here.”

Regulus takes the box, actually holding his breath as he reads the little name tag thing.

To Regulus.

From James.

With a small heart drawn on. Regulus traces it with his finger, feeling the tears start to fall as he realizes.

James hadn’t forgotten about him.

“He drew that on all of them,” Sirius tells him quietly, nodding at the closet full of gifts. “Every single one.” He has a little smile when Regulus looks at him. “Reg, these are all from him for you.”

Regulus hands the gift back, swiping quickly at his face. “Thanks,” he manages. “For showing me.”

“Yeah.” Sirius closes the closet. “But if he asks, you had no idea, okay?”

Regulus laughs a little. “He’ll know anyway.” James would know tonight, probably. The second he saw Regulus, he’d know something happened. And from there, really, it wouldn’t take much for Regulus to tell him everything. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Sirius waves a hand in dismissal. “He’ll understand.”

“I know.” Regulus considers his brother. “What’s going on with Remus?”

Sirius’s eyes go unfocused for a second before he shrugs. “He got caught up in work and forgot to tell me he was working late.” Sirius tips his head a bit. “Again.”

“Again?” Regulus repeats, eyebrows raising.

“I’m handling it,” Sirius promises.

“Sure,” Regulus agrees. “But if you want help handling it…”

Sirius laughs, bright and loud. It makes Regulus smile. “Yeah, Reggie. I’ll let you know.”

“Good.” Regulus lets the subject drop. “Okay, now grab your wallet. We have to go.”

“Go where?” Sirius asks, already moving.

Regulus grins. “I have to get him more presents than he gets me. And there were like fifteen in there.”

Sirius laughs again, and Regulus grabs his stuff, and if he glares a little bit at Remus before they leave…well, that’s really just to be expected at this point.

[fruitcoops]

Clean Slate

Ah, the passage of time. If anyone has been here since the first phone call, you may be entitled to financial compensation (or an AARP membership). Character credit goes to @lumosinlove <3

“Reg?”

On the first ring, as always. “Hey.”

“…hi?”

“I was thinking about going back to Gryff for Christmas.”

“Oh.” Surprise, but pleasant surprise. Regulus shook his pan of sausage. “Yeah, sounds good. You always have a room here. Or were you staying with the cubs?”

“With you.” He stretched his neck from side-to-side. Tension bled out of his forehead and shoulders at the familiar roll of French on his tongue. “If that’s okay.”

“Always,” Sirius answered immediately, almost hasty. Regulus wasn’t sure they’d ever get past that. Ah, well. The damage was done.

The line remained quiet for a moment. Sausage sizzled, and he turned to the pile of green beans on the cutting board. Leo had taught him how to snap the ends off with his fingernails, and though he was better now about not chewing them to the quick, he still didn’t like the feeling of stuff stuck beneath them. Regulus had really only called to clarify plans.

“How—how are your friends?”

“Good.” Sirius liked to talk, even if he wasn’t very good at it. “Jax and Kris set up the living room last night.”

“Do they still have that stupid poster?”

Regulus snorted under his breath and carefully sliced the tip off another bean. “They tried to hang it in the window.”

Sirius groaned.

Regulus grinned. He supposed he could have a little mercy. “Don’t worry, it’s under my bed.”

“Somehow, that’s worse.”

“I can’t get rid of it. It’s their favorite possession. They have a thing for your long hair and the murder face. Jax is still waiting for the day you spontaneously get divorced and need a hot young college student to rebound.”

He wasn’t sure whether the gagging sound Sirius made was real or exaggerated. As long as he was in mild torment, Regulus was happy. A simple, ever-amusing perk of long-distance communication.

“I hope your classmates are less in tune with pop culture.”

“Hockey, yes. Pop culture, no.” Regulus eyed the pan, then added another knob of butter to be safe. There was nothing worse than a burnt vegetable. “And my classes are going well, thank you for asking.”

“You’re welcome.”

He rolled his eyes. It didn’t matter that Sirius couldn’t see it; the message would certainly get through.

“Don’t make that face at me.”

“I’m not making a face.”

“You always make faces.”

Regulus stuck his tongue out at the microwave above the stove.

“I can feel you doing it again.”

“That was a different one. I’m taking physics 3 this year and it’s making me want to eat a doorknob already.”

“You’re anemic enough that it would probably help.”

“I take my supplements!” Regulus argued, shaking his pan. “Not my fault we were force-fed protein in fucking sun-less Canada.”

“We had sun, you just never went outside,” Sirius countered, like it was some sort of argument. “I don’t have to take supplements.”

“Well, you’re perfect and bulletproof, as everyone knows.”

“Exactly.”

Regulus angled his face at the dark phone screen when he pulled a face this time. It was a good one. Pity that Sirius couldn’t see it. He should’ve gone for FaceTime.

“Are you starting a fire?”

“I’m making dinner.”

“So…yes?”

“Not all of us have a home cook.”

“I can cook now.”

“Oh, you’ve been housebroken.” Regulus blew out a mouthful of steam as he tested a piece of sausage. “How thrilling for Lupin.”

“You’re such an asshole.”

“Takes one to know one. I learned that last week.”

He could feel Sirius shaking his head. “Knutty is formally banned from teaching you new slang.”

“You’ve never said ‘no’ to him in his entire career.” Regulus let the line hang silent for another half-minute as he turned the burner off and began scraping his dinner into a bowl. It still bore a faint orange tinge from last year’s finals-week spaghetti run. He fished a piece of pasta out of the water and popped it in his mouth, grimacing at the heat on his tongue. It was cooked well enough—at least, he was hungry enough to forgive a more al dente texture.

“By the way,” he started, as if his stomach wasn’t stuttering. “I think I’ll be back in time for family skate.”

The shuffling sounds on Sirius’ end came to an abrupt halt. “That’s nice,” came the faux-casual answer.

Anxiety made a valiant effort to claw up and silence his tongue. “I was thinking about going.”

“Well,” Sirius began, then paused. Regulus swallowed a few times to clear the block in his throat while Sirius pondered. “I—yeah, sounds good.”

“I want to.”

“Good.” Sirius’ relief was audible. “Okay, good. You can change your mind.”

“Don’t be weird about it,” Regulus ordered as he toed his slippers on and made his way to the apartment’s tiny coffee table. They’d get chairs at some point, but for now three pillows sat on the floor beside it.

“I’m never weird.”

“Boo, liar.”

“Freak.”

“I’m telling Lupin.”

“Do it. He likes me better. I can cook.”

“I’m—” Regulus caught himself at the last second and felt Sirius’ breath hitch on the other end of the line in anticipation. “—not joking, I actually want to go and play stupid ice fetch with your irritating friends, and nobody is making me feel pressured.”

“Okay.”

“Don’t sound so…” He wrinkled his nose and stuffed a mouthful of pasta into his mouth. “Smiley.”

“It’ll be good to have you home.”

“If you’re weird, I’m staying with Leo,” Regulus threatened. “For real, this time.”

“Right, because you love being around people who are engaged and anywhere near a holiday, or mistletoe, or the magic of Christmas—”

His loud groan silenced Sirius’ words, but not his laughter. “Get your laughs in now, before I whoop your ass on the ice.”

“Would love to see you try.”

“Don’t sound so thrilled.”

“Everyone else is going to underestimate you. I won’t be nice like that.”

“You’re never nice,” Regulus lied.

Sirius let him eat in peace until he was scraping the last bits of cheese from the bottom of the bowl. He heard the faint beeping of the dishwasher buttons in the background and glanced at his own sink, nearly overflowing with haphazard dishes from the first chaotic weeks of their senior year. The apartment was a pleasant change from living on campus, such as it was. Jax and Kris had offered to pay rent—tried to strongarm him, really—but a few withering looks had finally made them relent. It wasn’t anything fancy, but it was his. Theirs.

The string lights lining the ceiling weren’t strictly allowed, but Regulus liked their gentle blue cast. The blanket Remus and Sirius had sent as a housewarming gift sat cozily on the back of their couch. Curtains from Jax’s mother let in just the right amount of light in the mornings.

“Call me if you need anything, okay?”

The sound of Sirius’ voice in his earbuds startled him. “Yeah,” Regulus said. “Yeah, sure.”

“Even for laundry.” Sirius tried for wry, and it made Regulus crack a small smile, but it was gentler than either of them intended. “Don’t shrink your clothes. Check the tags.”

Always do, he thought, but kept it down. “Good advice. No centipedes here, yet.”

Sirius’ laugh was a little weak. “You’re just not looking hard enough.”

“Eugh, don’t say that.” Regulus blinked fast, tipping his head toward the ceiling. “Hey, this washer even has a ‘normal’ setting, if you can believe it.”

“Oh, wow. Lucky you.”

Picking up the phone on the first ring, always. For four years straight. “I’ll see you at Christmas.”

“We can come up in October, if you want.”

Of course Sirius had the academic calendar on-hand. “I’ll be gone that weekend with the guys. We didn’t want to be around all the new parents. They’re very damp.”

“And you melt when water touches you, of course.”

“Of course.”

Sirius let out a quiet breath. “See you at Christmas, Reg. Call me when you have flights.”

“Mhm.”

“Stay safe.”

“Always do.”

“No, you don’t.”

“I do here,” he corrected.

“Fine.”

“Miss you.” The streetlights down the road were just starting to come on. “Say hi to Lupin for me.”

“He’s in the other room,” Sirius offered. “You can say it yourself.”

“I’ll talk to you both enough at Christmas.”

“Call any time. And let us know when you hear back about graduation tickets.”

What a terrifying thought to leave for the end of the call. “I’ll forward it to you.”

“I’ll keep an eye out.”

“Okay. Bye.” And before he could second-guess himself—“I’ll be home soon.”

“Don’t talk to strangers,” Sirius answered. Regulus heard the truth under it. “And do your laundry.”

[moonsandmobilityaids-inactive]

The Flu Part 4

Pairings: Poly!marauders x disabled!reader Summary: You get the flu. But for someone with your immune system, the flu is never just the flu. Warnings: Flu Series Masterlist | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

You feel the cool, crisp air of the castle as you return from St. Mungo's, and it's a stark contrast to the warm, sterile environment of the hospital.

You'd spent a few days in isolation as you recovered from the flu, but despite being out of it, your body was still weak and tired from the lingering effects of the illness, and the strain it had put on your body. And even though you were now back at Hogwarts, you weren't yet ready to go back to classes.

“I want you here for a couple more days," Madam Pomfrey insists. "Just to make sure you're well enough to return."

It was frustrating; you were so close to the Gryffindor common room, yet you were still stuck under the watchful eyes of Madam Pomfrey. You roll your eyes, but ultimately nod; there would be no arguing with her, and she was technically right - your body was still weak, and you knew that your immune system would take longer to recover than most people, and that could mean another infection or worse if you went back too soon.

James, Sirius, and Remus are waiting for you when you arrive, and as soon as you're settled into bed once again, they come over. They'd been worried about you, and while they tried not to show it too much, you can see the relief in their eyes when they spot you sitting up in bed.

James is the first one to reach you, dropping down into the chair beside your bed and immediately taking your hand. His grip is almost tight enough to hurt, his hazel eyes showing just how scared he's really been.

Sirius and Remus aren't far behind James; Sirius leans against the foot of the bed, crossing his arms in an attempt to look relaxed, while Remus hangs back slightly. He gives you some space, but doesn't look away, watching you intently, the same worry etched into his face.

"I'm okay," you promise, your voice hoarse from not speaking for so long.

They don't pressure you with questions right away or fuss over you too much - they know better than to overwhelm you when you've just woken up. And yet, there's a tension in the air that suggests that while they're relieved you're awake and doing better, they aren't happy about what had happened.

"You missed out on everything," Sirius tells you after a moment of silence. "I mean, I thought I was going to fail Transfiguration without you, but then Evans gave me her notes, and she really doesn't like me, so I think we can all agree that you need to hurry up and get better."

You laugh softly, shaking your head at him. He was obviously trying to keep things light, and you were grateful for it - as much as you knew how serious this situation could have been, you couldn't handle the weight of it right now.

"Didn't realise my life would be so boring if you weren't around," James says, looking up at you. His hand is still holding onto yours, his thumb drawing patterns across your skin. "And I don't want to even think about what the common room will look like. You haven't been there to clean up our messes, after all."

"I didn't think I was that important," you admit, smiling slightly.

"You are to us," Remus points out, and you glance up at him. He seems to be studying your face, taking in every detail, as if he's searching for something.

There's a pause before he speaks again, clearly picking his words carefully. "How do you feel?"

He looks at you curiously, as if he knows that you might lie to avoid them worrying, and you hesitate for a moment, unsure of whether or not you should lie. But you'd promised yourself that you wouldn't hide anything anymore, so, despite the fact that you knew they were going to worry more because of it, you tell the truth.

"Tired," you confess. "Weak. Not ill, though."

It wasn't surprising that you felt weak; aside from being seriously ill, you hadn't eaten properly in days. Madam Pomfrey would likely force some soup down your throat later to help you regain your strength, but until then, you'd probably continue to feel fragile and shaky, as if you were made of glass.

A sigh of relief passes through them, one that only you seem to see, and their bodies relax ever so slightly. They don't completely relax, however - you're not better yet, so why would they?

****

The boys stick close to you over the next few days, visiting between classes and bringing you news of what was happening in the outside world.

James manages to sneak some food out of the Great Hall for you, insisting that you eat something because even though your appetite had returned, it hadn't increased much.

"And this is why Y/N leaves us," Sirius says with a roll of his eyes, sitting down on the end of the bed. "You're being too fussy."

You shake your head at him, taking a bite of the apple James has held up to your mouth. He's clearly trying to get you to eat more by feeding you himself - and unfortunately, it seems to be working.

"I'm just looking after her," James retorts as he pulls away slightly, but not enough so that you can take the apple from him. "It's my job as her boyfriend."

Sirius shakes his head, scoffing softly under his breath, but doesn't respond, instead choosing to tell an exaggerated story about how Lily has been reigning hell on people while you were gone, making you giggle despite yourself.

Remus hangs back, saying very little unless spoken to directly. He hovers around, keeping a careful eye on you, watching every move you make to ensure you don't push yourself too hard. You'd noticed him doing it during their first visit, and while you found it annoying, you knew he was only doing it because he cared about you. And besides, Madam Pomfrey was hovering close-by, checking your vitals once every hour or two, and she wasn't shy when it came to telling them off if they got too boisterous.

You're relieved when Madam Pomfrey allows them to stay until curfew, completely ignoring her own rule for once, despite being hesitant on whether she should let them visit you again so soon. She's reluctant to allow them to do anything except sit there and talk with you, but they don't seem to mind too much, happy to just be near you after not knowing what would happen to you for almost a week.

James is ecstatic when he hears this, going straight for your hand which is under the covers and giving it a gentle squeeze. You can't return the gesture yet, still feeling weak and fragile, like you'd break if someone touched you wrong, but he doesn't seem to mind. He brings your knuckles up to his lips and presses a soft kiss against them, keeping his eyes on yours the entire time.

"I love you," he says quietly, smiling slightly but mostly looking serious. "And I'm glad you're okay."

The words feel heavy on your tongue, but you try anyway, managing to mumble, "love you too."

He smiles properly then, pressing another quick kiss to your hand before lowering it onto your stomach again, careful to keep it covered with the blankets so you wouldn't get cold.

****

You spend a few more days in the hospital wing, slowly but surely building your strength back up so that you could return to normal classes. It was boring and annoying and you couldn't wait to get out of there, no matter how much Madam Pomfrey insisted that you needed a lot of rest to recover.

Finally, after what felt like the longest week of your life, she agreed to discharge you from her care, but only on one condition: You had to take it easy for at least another week, not overexerting yourself or getting too tired, and report any signs of a relapse immediately - she'd given you a long list of what these could be, making sure you were aware of them all before letting you leave.

James, Sirius and Remus are already there when Madam Pomfrey makes the announcement, helping you pack up the small amount of belongings you'd accumulated while staying there. James is careful to keep an eye on you as he does this, though, clearly worried about you even if you weren't going far.

Remus takes charge of pushing your wheelchair, guiding you through the familiar halls of Hogwarts on the short but very slow journey back to Gryffindor Tower. The chair moved slower than you walked normally, which wasn't very fast as it was, but neither of you mind too much, taking your time because you don't have anywhere else to be right now.

The boys' presence is comforting, providing some silent support as you transitioned back into your regular surroundings, and you can't help but feel grateful for them.

The common room is warm and familiar, the fire crackling in its place on the other side of the room. The few people who are sitting there turn to look at you when you enter, but none of them say anything, instead just giving you a small smile before turning back to their conversations or work.

You’ve never been so relieved to see a room; it felt like coming home after being away for weeks, even though it hadn't quite been that long yet, despite how it felt.

"Welcome back," Remus murmurs as he pushes you towards your accessible bedroom, through the door which James had already opened. "We're glad you're okay."

You nod slightly, unable to speak without feeling choked up. James and Sirius help you into bed once Remus moves out of the way, moving slowly so that you can take your time. Sirius is careful, more than usual, making sure you're laying down comfortably before pulling the blankets up over you properly, tucking you in as if you were a child.

"Thanks, Siri," you say quietly, and he smiles sadly at you, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead before standing up again.

"Who gets the first hug?" Sirius asks, his grey eyes sparkling with mischief as he glances between James and Remus. There's a challenge in his voice, an invitation to contest this claim.

"I believe I should," James replies without missing a beat, his brow furrowing in thought. He steps forward, coming to a stop at the foot of your bed, and sits down near your feet. "I've been the most worried, after all."

"Says who?" Sirius scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the doorframe, every inch the picture of casual defiance.

Remus chuckles, shaking his head as if amused by their antics. Without a word, he lowers himself onto the edge of the bed, claiming the space beside you. His arm drapes gently across your waist, drawing you toward him until your sides are pressed together. You have another side, after all.

"Alright, enough," Remus murmurs, though there's a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "We're not here to argue about who gets to cuddle her."

There's a pause as they all look at one another, then back at you. You can see the concern etched in their faces, especially James's. He's always been the most protective out of the three, and now that he has an excuse to be even more so, he seems ready to use it.

"Yeah, let's figure this out," Sirius agrees after a moment. His voice is calmer than before, and when he sits down on your other side, he's careful not to jostle you too much.

They spend the next few minutes discussing what needs to be done for you. James insists that he'll help you catch up with your schoolwork once you feel better, promising to make sure you don't fall behind. Sirius counters by saying he'll carry your books to every class, wanting to lessen any physical strain on you.

"And I'll make sure she takes breaks when needed," Remus adds quietly from beside you. "Rest is important."

The words hang in the air between them, each sentence carefully constructed to show just how much they care about you.

****

As the days pass, they prove true to their word. Each of them becomes more protective over you, watching your every move like hawks, but never in a way that feels suffocating. Instead, it's comforting, knowing that they're there, ready to lend a hand or offer support whenever you need it.

You notice it in the little things—the way James's eyes flicker to you during meals, checking if you're eating enough; the subtle tightening of Sirius's jaw when someone jostles you in the hallway, ready to step in at a moment's notice; the quiet concern etched onto Remus's face as he watches you pour over your textbooks late into the night. You've never seen them quite so protective before, their usual playful banter tinged with an undercurrent of watchfulness that wasn't there before.

"Need anything else, sweetheart?" James asks for what must be the tenth time this evening. He leans against the doorway of your bedroom, arms crossed and brow slightly furrowed—a testament to his lingering worry.

"James, really, I'm fine," you assure him, trying not to let your smile waver even though you can feel the fatigue pulling at your bones. "You don’t need to check on me every half hour."

But despite your words, James doesn't seem entirely convinced. There's a tension in his shoulders that wasn't there before, one that only eases marginally when Sirius strides in, carrying a tray laden with sandwiches and pumpkin juice.

"I thought you could use a break," Sirius says, setting the tray down beside you. His grey eyes meet yours, reflecting a warmth that belies the casual shrug of his shoulders. "Besides, Prongs was driving me mad with his hovering."

A soft laugh escapes you, followed by a grateful nod towards Sirius. But as you reach for a sandwich, your hand trembles ever so slightly—a reminder of the strength you're yet to regain. It's a small thing, barely noticeable unless you're looking for it. And they are—always watching, always ready.

Remus catches it first, his gaze sharpening as he moves closer to you. "That's enough studying for tonight, Y/N," he declares softly, closing your textbook with a gentle push. "We promised Madam Pomfrey we'd make sure you rest."

His touch is light, almost hesitant, but it carries an unspoken promise—one that echoes through the silent room and settles in your heart. A vow made between friends, binding them together in the aftermath of a scare none of them had anticipated.

Days pass, and bit by bit, you regain the strength that had once slipped through your fingers like water. Each morning greets you with a little less pain and a little more energy, the dark circles under your eyes fading in time with the autumn leaves outside your window.

Madam Pomfrey insists on regular check-ins, her gaze sharp as she monitors your progress—a testament to the severity of your condition at St Mungo's. "Your immune system took quite a hit," she explains one afternoon while conjuring a small vial of potion for you. "It'll take some time before it fully recovers."

A sense of normalcy gradually returns to your life within Hogwarts' stone walls, but it's a new kind of normal—one tinged with caution and an awareness of your limitations. You resume attending classes, mindful not to push yourself too hard under the watchful eyes of your professors.

James, Sirius, and Remus are constant shadows by your side, their presence both comforting and grounding amidst the whispers that follow you down the corridors. They carry your books, shield you from the crowd during passing periods, and make sure you're eating enough—all subtle ways they've stepped up to support you without crossing boundaries.

"Slow down, Y/N," Remus chides gently when he catches you rushing to finish a Charms essay one evening. His hand covers yours, stilling the frantic movement of your quill. "There's no need to overwork yourself."

His voice is like a balm, soothing away the stress lines etching themselves across your forehead. You let out a breath you didn't realize you'd been holding, allowing your shoulders to sag against the backrest of your chair.

"Besides," James cuts in, his tone lighter as if trying to lift the weight off your chest, "Sirius here could use some help understanding the concept of 'expanding charms.' He thinks it's all about making his ego bigger."

The corners of Sirius's mouth twitch, a hint of a smirk playing at his lips even as he feigns offence. "Oi! I heard that, Prongs."

[thebibutterflyao3]

Day 23 - Prompt: Faith @wolfstarmicrofic

January Daily Series - 992 words

<<<Previous Part OR Start Here

Based on what he’d seen that night, Sirius’s flexibility was almost as impressive as his faith in his low-slung black jeans. Remus kept his comments to himself though. He was certain that Sirius didn’t want his opinion, at least not in front of everyone.

“Sirius, stop whining. He clearly enjoyed the show,” Regulus said matter-of-factly. “Besides, it could have been worse. At least you didn’t crawl in his lap for a kip.”

James struggled hard to muffle the laughter that shook his entire body, but burst out with a loud snort that appeared to startle him as much as it did Regulus. His boyfriend nearly toppled out of his lap. Luckily, his reflexes were still sharp, and he grabbed James’s shirt to steady himself.

“James! Calm down.”

“Sorry, but it’s funny! You were so bloody sweet that night, Regulus.” James cuddled him close and kissed the top of his head. Regulus clicked his tongue in disapproval as he leaned into the affection.

Sirius rolled his eyes, but Remus spotted the smile that he tried to hide. It was one of those smiles that seemed to be reserved especially for Regulus. A grin that carried a lifetime of private jokes and a healthy dose of mischief.

I wish he’d smile at me like that.

“Yeah, right. I feel so much better about making a complete fool of myself grinding on lesbians now that you've reminded me of your cute little couple story,” Sirius snarked, toying with his glass.

“You could have your own couple story,” James pointed out.

Sirius aimed a murderous glare at him, then tossed back the rest of his drink. Across from Sirius, Emmeline was watching the interaction curiously. Remus didn’t know her as well as the other girls, but she was generally polite.

“What does he mean? Do you fancy someone here?” she asked, tapping on Sirius’s sleeve.

Remus cleared his throat and shifted to stand. “Anyone need another round?”

“Relax, Remus.” James said, nodding at the waitress approaching the table. “Ma’am? Can we get another round? And add his tab to mine, please. Thank you.”

Before he could object, the woman spun around to fetch the drinks. Remus turned back to James with an incredulous look.

“Don’t bother arguing,” Regulus said, waving him off. “He won’t hear it.”

Remus huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. Sirius smothered a laugh, but was quickly caught up in a hushed conversation with Emmeline.

“You mentioned going to the Yule Festival tomorrow, right?” James deflected, lips twitching into a grin. “We’ll be there, Mum’s looking forward to it.”

“Yes,” Remus answered warily. The mischievous glint in James’s eyes could only mean he was up to something. He glanced at Regulus, but he just shrugged.

Sirius slid out the other side of the booth and stretched his shoulders. He wore a black cropped Queen tee over a mesh shirt that showed off his tattoos beautifully. “I’m tired of sitting. Reggie, come dance with me.”

“Pass. I’m comfy.” Regulus burrowed into his boyfriend’s chest. James whispered into his ear and he perked up. “Nevermind, let’s go!”

“I don’t want to know,” Sirius warned. “Remus? Do you dance?”

Mary bounced up and grabbed his arm. “Of course he does.” He tried to refuse, but she hissed into his ear, “Don’t make me bring Lily into this.”

Remus sighed as she dragged him toward the crowd gathered near the bar. He knew Mary would do it too, and then Lily would bully him into it. Especially if she knew Sirius was here.

It took one whole song for Lily and Sirius to find each other, half of another for Mary to join them. Just when he thought he was free to slink away as subtly as possible for someone a head taller than the crowd, James and Regulus appeared next to him.

“Remus! Dance with us!” James insisted, prodding Remus’s hip.

He followed them through another couple of songs before his knees started to hurt. When a high energy Latin beat kicked in, Remus was ready to admit defeat. Until James began a seductive hip roll and shoulder shimmy combination that left Regulus gaping in shock.

“Well, shite,” Remus said, hiding a grin.

“I didn’t know you could do that! Show me,” Regulus demanded. Within seconds, James held Regulus flush to his front while guiding his hips through the motions. Regulus was beyond flustered, but laughing.

Remus watched for a few beats, then swivelled away before he embarrassed himself. He barely managed one step before Sirius collided with him.

“Sorry! Oh Remus, I was looking for you.”

“You were?”

Sirius nodded, then reached for his hands. “Come on, dance with me!”

“Alright, but I’m not that coordinated,” he said, hitching a thumb over his shoulder.

Sirius glanced past him, then smirked. “Show-off. He's trying to impress Reggie.”

“It’s working.”

“I see that.”

Remus tried to move with the beat, but his joints were achy. Instead, he settled into the cringiest white boy bop on the dance floor. Sirius didn’t seem to care though, and continued to dance around Remus.

“Are you having fun?” Sirius asked, raising his voice over the crowd.

“I am now.”

“Good!”

As a pop ballad began, Sirius’s movements seamlessly followed the beat. He swayed closer with every chorus of Bruno Mars’s “Talking to the Moon.” Remus slowed to a stop, memorised by the fluid movements of his body, the way his arms swayed up over his head and back down to his waist. It was as though the haunting melody flowed from him instead of the speakers.

“You’re staring, Remus,” Sirius teased, twirling into a slow, elegant turn.

“How can I not look at you, Sirius? You’re fucking art.”

Sirius’s brows lifted as he slowed to a stop. “What?”

“I just mean, it’s beautiful. You move like water. Elegant, and maybe a little splashy,” Remus said, rubbing at the back of his neck.

Splashy? What the fuck am I on about?

Next Part>>>

[once-upon-an-imagine]

Keep Breathing - James Potter

A/N: ahhhhh I am so happy to write for Jamie again! I love him so much! I hope you loves like this :D thank you so much for your request, love!!! xD

Request - ittybittyhogan asked: Hey! I love your work so much! I wanted to request a young James Potter x female Gryffindor reader where they're dating, and she has exercise induced asthma and plays quidditch. While they're in the middle of a game she has an asthma attack so they have to stop the game and Remus (her twin brother) brings her her inhaler 'cause he always holds onto it for her during her games, but it's broken, so James has to try to calm her down? Thank you! You're amazing! 

Warnings: reader has exercise-induced asthma and has an asthma attack in the middle of a Quidditch match (also, I don’t have asthma so I hope I did a good job describing this situation, please if something is incorrect let me know) 

Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter :) gif isn’t mine :D

Your name: submit What is this?

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Keep Breathing

I want to change the world, and instead I sleep I want to believe in more than you and me But all that I know is I'm breathing All I can do is keep breathing All we can do is keep breathing now

“Fuck! They are killing us!” Sirius complained, entering the Gryffindor tent. It was the final Quidditch game against Ravenclaw and they requested a time-out.

James gathered everyone around and went over the plan to turn the match back around and try to win the cup. You tried your best to pay attention to your boyfriend but you were exhausted. Sirius was right. Ravenclaw was kicking your asses. You slowly sat down on the bench and tried to pay attention to James’ game plan. Once he was done, everyone either went out of the tent or grabbed something to drink but you didn't move.

“Hey, princess” James said, walking over to you and squatting down to your level. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah” you smiled at him.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m fine, Jamie” you insisted, leaning in to give him a small kiss. “Stop worrying so much-”

“No, I’m not going to apologize for worrying about you, love” he informed you.

“But there’s nothing to worry about-”

“It’s been a long match. I don’t want you to overwork yourself” he said, with worry written all over his beautiful hazel eyes.

“I know” you said, placing your hand on his cheek. “I’m okay, I promise I’ll let you know if it’s too much, okay?”

“Okay” he said, getting up and kissing your forehead. “I love you, Miss Lupin” he said, helping you stand up and leaning down to kiss you.

“I love you too, Mr. Potter” you smiled.

“Yeah, yeah, we all love each other! Let’s go lovebirds, we have a match to win!�� Sirius argued when he popped his head inside the tent before he rolled his eyes and went back out.

“You sure you’re okay?”

“Yes” you said, kissing his cheek. “Stop worrying about me, we have a match to win” you said, grabbing his hand and pulling him out of the tent.

“I always worry about you, love” he said, kissing the side of your head.

“You don’t have to, love. I promise I’m fine” you smiled as you reached the pitch again.

Oh, how wrong you were. The second part of the match was even worse. Not only was Ravenclaw somehow playing better but the weather wasn’t helping you at all. The wind had picked up and it was even colder than before. You wanted nothing more than to find the Snitch, grab it and get this over with. If you caught it, you still had a chance to win, so not only would this finally end, but you would win and James would be the happiest man on Earth. So, you tried focusing on that bloody Snitch. When you finally spotted it, you held tightly to your broom and started flying towards it as fast as you could. You were getting so close, but then, what you feared started to happen. You felt your breathing become short and you felt a massive tightness in your chest. Shit! Not now!  You couldn’t stop. You were almost there. You looked for your inhaler in your pocket and took it out thinking it would help and give you just enough time to get to the Snitch and get this over with.

“LUPIN!” you heard Fabian Prewett flying closer, pushing you away and batting one of the Bludgers almost hitting you, and making your inhaler fall out of your hand. “Shit! You alright?” he asked when he saw you trying to breathe properly.

“Shit” you muttered, knowing it was lost and most likely broken. “Uh-” you said, trying to take a deep breath but you were obviously not succeeding. This could not be happening. Not right now. “Get S-Sirius-” you managed to say.

“Shit! BLACK!” he started flying the other way. You stopped for a moment and tried to catch your breath. You were about to take flight again, looking for the Snitch, when you felt someone pull your broom back. You turned around and almost yelled at whichever Ravenclaw teammate did this to you, but you found Sirius looking at you instead.

“Lupin! What the fuck?” he snapped at you.

“I have to-” you said between breaths. “Get the Snitch-!”

“The fuck you are!” he said, grabbing your broom and he started pulling you down with him.

“S-stop” you said, trying to move out of his grip.

“TIME OUT!” he yelled at Madam Hooch, who quickly blew her whistle, making both teammates stop.

“Looks like it’s another time out just as Potter was about to score!”

“Fuck! What the bloody hell is it now?” James complained as he was so close to scoring for Gryffindor again. But then, he saw Sirius landing with you by his side and it looked like he was carefully trying to help you off your broom and holding you up. “SHIT!” he said, dropping the Quaffle in the process and making his way towards you as fast as he could. “(Y/N)!” he yelled at you, throwing his broom before he could even land properly and running over to you. “Love, what’s wrong?!”

“N-” you couldn’t even say ‘nothing’ as you tried to take deep breaths but you were wheezing badly.

“I’ll go get Pomfrey!” Madam Hooch said, leaving the scene.

“What is wrong with her?” Gideon asked.

“She was just looking weak, mate. She asked me to go get Black” Fabian explained.

“Princess, look at me” James said, placing your head softly between his hands. “Where’s your inhaler?”

“F-fell” you managed to say.

“Remus always has one!” Sirius remembered, as he gently sat you down and James knelt with you. “I’ll go get-”

“(Y/N)!” they turned around to see Remus already running down the pitch towards them. “What’s happening? Where’s her inhaler?” he said, with his already in his hand. James quickly took it from him.

“She dropped it” Sirius explained as James shook the inhaler in his hand.

“Breathe out, love” he instructed before he brought the inhaler to your lips and pressed it down but nothing happened. “Shit! It’s not working!”

“What? What do you mean is not working? Did you do it correctly?” Remus asked, kneeling next to him and taking it from James. He tried to do the same thing but he got the same result. Nothing came out. “Shit! It’s broken-!”

“I have one in my bag!” James told him, surprising you as you still tried to breathe properly.

“Where is it?” Remus asked, getting up.

“It’s in the tent, come on, love!” Sirius said, pulling him away.

“Jamie” you said, feeling your eyes water and the pain in your chest getting worse.

“I’m here, princess” he said, softly, trying to remain calm and not show you how scared he actually was because he knew you needed him right now. “He’s gonna be right back, okay? Madam Pomfrey too” he said, stroking his hand up and down your back. “Try to breathe through your nose, yeah?”

For you it felt like an eternity but it wasn’t that long before Remus and Sirius came back with the backup inhaler. Madam Pomfrey and Madam Hooch came closer at the same time with the heads of both houses.

“Here” Sirius said, handing it to James who shook it before he brought it to your lips again.

“Take a deep breath, princess” he pressed it and this time you felt the medicine hit you. You were able to take a deep breath, feeling better for a moment as you held your breath. “Do you need another one?” James asked, already shaking your inhaler again as you nodded and he repeated the same thing. “Do you feel better?” he asked, stroking your back softly.

“Do you think you can continue?” Madam Hooch asked, but before you could even respond, your boyfriend and your brother did it for you.

“No!”

“Of course, not!” Remus snapped.

“I c-can” you managed to say.

“Have you lost your mind?” Remus snapped, kneeling down next to you.

“No, love, there is no way I’m letting you back on the match” James said, looking at you with his big puppy eyes.

“Y-you’re b-benching me?” you pouted.

“Actually, if you cannot continue then I’m afraid that Ravenclaw would win” Madam Hooch said.

“What? But none of us caught the Snitch!” Sirius complained.

“Yes, but your Seeker is indisposed” she explained. “Either both teams agree to reschedule the entire match or Gryffindor forfeits and Ravenclaw wins” she told them.

“Then we forfeit” James said, without even thinking.

“What? Potter!” the Prewett twins complained.

“J-James-” you tried to get his attention, but he stood up and you were still not feeling your best.

“I am not going to let my girlfriend go back out there and have another asthma attack!” he said in a serious tone.

“But it’s the final!”

“We can reschedule” the captain of the Ravenclaw team suddenly intervened.

“What? Mate! We won already!” one of his teammates complained.

“No! I don’t want to win like this” he said, looking at you. “They still had a chance to beat us. Potter was about to score and if Lupin had caught the Snitch they would have won. It’s not fair to win because she had an asthma attack” he shrugged.

“Really?” James asked with an arched eyebrow.

“Yeah, mate” he said offering his hand for him to shake. “Rematch?”

“Rematch” James agreed, shaking his hand.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

“Jamie, you should go to dinner” you said as he fluffed your pillow for about the tenth time while you rested on his bed since he had insisted to stay glued to you for the rest of the day.

“Nope, there is no way I am not moving and leaving you alone. I have your favorite tea, all of your blankets, and Wormtail, Moony, and Padfoot will bring us dinner” he said, sitting down next to you and kissing your forehead. “How are you feeling, princess?” he asked, handing you a cup of tea.

“I’m feeling much better, Jamie” you said, taking a sip of your tea. “Um-” you looked down at the smoke coming out of your tea.

“What is it? Is it too hot? Not hot enough? Is it the wrong tea?”

“No, love” you smiled at him. “The tea is perfect” you assured him, placing your mug on James’ nightstand. “Everything is” you said. “I just uh-” you sighed.

“What? What’s wrong, love?” he asked, worriedly.

“Nothing” you said, grabbing his hand between yours. “I’m sorry” you said, making him frown his eyebrows.

“What? What are you sorry for?” he asked, genuinely confused.

“I’m sorry about the match” you said, intertwining your fingers with his and playing with his hand.

“What are you talking about?”

“I should have told you it was too much and maybe the time-out could have been a little longer” you explained. “You asked me if I was okay and told me to not overwork myself and that’s exactly what I did and it almost cost us the match” you pouted. “You almost forfeit because I couldn’t look for the Snitch anymore and my inhaler got lost and Remus’ was broken and- I didn’t even know you had an inhaler, so if it wasn’t because of that-”

“Princess, hold on. Slow down” he chuckled, kissing your hand. “You have nothing to be sorry for” he said, cupping your cheek and brushing away a small tear that fell down your cheek.

“B-but I made us almost lose the match-”

“Love, that doesn’t matter” he insisted.

“But it was the final match-”

“That doesn’t change anything” he said, sitting up and hugging you closer to him. “You needed to stop and that’s what you did! You shouldn’t have pushed yourself so much, love-”

“I wanted us to win” you mumbled quietly. “I thought you would be happy if I-”

“Sweetheart, listen to me” he said, lifting your face so you would look at him. “No bloody match is more important than you being okay” he said firmly. “I don’t care if it would have cost us the Quidditch Cup. You are the most important thing in my life and I love you so much, (Y/N) Lupin” he said, smiling at you and kissing your forehead.

“I love you too, James Potter” you said, with a few more tears running down your cheeks. “I’m sorry I scared you” you told him. 

“It’s alright, love” he said, kissing your temple. “Just, please don’t do it again. Ever” he said, making you chuckle. 

“Thank you for taking care of me” you smiled, giving him a peck on the lips.

“That’s my favorite job in the whole world, princess” he said, kissing you again.

“Hey!” you two jumped apart when Remus and Sirius barged into the room. “I said I was okay with you two dating if you didn’t kiss in front of me!” your brother complained, bringing a tray of food for you.

“Oh, you are such a hypocrite! You kiss Sirius in front of me all the time!” you rolled your eyes.

“That is not the same thing” Remus argued.

“Of course is not. You can’t blame him, love. He gets to kiss me” he said, bringing James his tray of food. “You only get to kiss Prongs and his dorky face!” he laughed.

“Hey!” he complained. “If you weren’t bringing me food, I would be so mad at you right now” he said.

“You feeling better, sweetheart?” Sirius asked you. “That was quite a scare you gave us” he said, sitting on his bed with Remus by his side. “Especially your brother. He won’t shut up about-”

“Sirius!” Remus said, shoving a cookie in his mouth to make him stop talking. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling better, Remmy” you smiled at him. “I’m sorry I worried you so much-”

“I wasn’t that worried, I know you were okay and-”

“And I know you. And I know you were worried. And that you’re blaming yourself because your inhaler was broken” you told him.

“I should have known-” he said looking down at his hands.

“Remmy” you said, getting up from James’ bed and walking over to your brother, sitting down next to him. “You couldn’t have known this would happen today and that I would lose my own inhaler” you said, hugging him.

“Fine. I guess I was a little worried” he said, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. “I’m glad you’re okay” he said, kissing the side of your head.

“We both are” Sirius said, hugging both of you and kissing your cheek repeatedly.

“Sirius!” you giggled, trying to get out of his hug.

“Padfoot!” James said, pulling you out and hugging you to him instead. “Stop hogging my Lupin!”

“That’s fine! My Lupin’s prettier” he said, kissing Remus’ cheek.

“Ha! You wish, Pads” he laughed, sitting back on his bed and taking you to sit on his lap. “Mine’s the prettiest” he said, kissing your cheek.

“You two are idiots” you and Remus said at the same time.

The End 

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

A/N: aahhhh I hope you guys liked it! please let me know what you think! :D

[lepus-littlebear]

Deer, Flower and Her ( ArTw Fic )

 ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀*Sirius x Lee Dam ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ ❀*

' Deer, Flower and Her '

Sirius X Lee Dam 이담 ("Default" Summoner)

✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚❋ ❋ ❋˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧

Disclaimer: I don't write fanfics so this is my first attempt at writing one hence I apologize for any mistakes. [Italic text means change in P.O.V from 1st person to 3rd person at the end]

❋

“Pretty, isn’t it?”

A sudden familiar voice breaks me out of my trance. I look back at the man standing by me, his hands behind his back as his never-changing impassive smile is directed at me. My gaze lingers on his face for a second before I nod my head.

“Seeing how long you stared at it….should I say that you want it?”

“Not necessarily. I just think it’s beautifully crafted.”

I look back at the glass flower put in display infront of this arts shop we are at. It reflects the sunlight, making it almost blindingly bright. The single delicate flower stood a bit curved but strongly nonetheless as if it was trying its best to stand against the overwhelming light.

“Indeed. Looks like a lot of time and effort went into it”, Sirius’ gaze also turns to the flower. Beside the small sculpture was a thin piece of paper revealing that it was handmade and crafted out of finest glass by the hands of the famous artist himself. Just under it is written the price….looking at the number of 0s, I sigh internally. Of course.

A light chuckle enters my ear and I look at him again, “Are you sure you don’t want it? Because your expression says otherwise.” Sirius’ eyes twinkle in sparkles of gold and his smile is wider than before. 

I avoid his gaze feeling seen as I blurt out my thoughts, “Well, even if I did get it, I don’t think I’m capable enough to protect a glass flower. I’d probably accidentally have it shattered and I don’t want that. It would be upsetting.” 

I mean one of the reasons is that I don’t have enough money but he doesn’t need to know that.

“Is that so? But I think summoner could do a pretty good job, at least better than me. If you really want it, I can buy it for you.”

I almost want to accept the offer but then refuse after a moment of thought.

“I can’t make you do that. It’s too expensive.”

“Nothing’s too expensive if it’s for our summoner-”

I cut him off before he can continue, “How about you get it then?”

“Now, now, that defeats the purpose, doesn’t it?”

“Just have it in your room, I’ll drop by every now and then to check on it.” My smile is uncontrollable as my eyes settles on his face waiting for how he’ll reply to such a silly suggestion. Obviously it was a joke but Sirius seems a bit surprised at my words. And then his infamous mocking laugh returns again, “Summoner, you really do say interesting things sometimes.” 

He seems genuinely amused but takes a deep breathe and looks at the flower as his eyes turn into a dark shade of purple, “I won’t deny that it’s beautiful but at the same time….it’s weak.”

“Weak?”

“Sure, I actually do want to place it somewhere in my room, seems tempting but it will require a lot of care and precision. One wrong move and it’ll fall to the floor, shattering into many pieces.”

His looming expression vanishes again and the annoying smirk returns, “So, you have to be careful summoner. Beautiful innocent things are pretty and alluring to look at but they are weak. They need to be protected or the world around them will eat them and their purity up.”

“So, that’s what you think about it, huh….” I look down, seemingly in thought about his ‘strange’ mindset.

But why did he tell me to be careful? Was it directed towards being careful around the flower or….

“It looks like you find my thinking weird, summoner. But am I really wrong?”

I stay quiet for a moment despite his taunting and decide to enter the store. Sirius seems perplexed before following me silently with a smile that meant to say ‘I won’.

As my feet take me around the small but bright shop slowly, I state my half, “Not exactly. I can’t argue with you saying you’re completely wrong. Like what you said, beautiful things should indeed be protected. Pretty roses for instance, when someone sees a pretty rose, they’ll pluck it and keep it for themselves not caring that it would wilt and die later on. But I want to say that it isn’t the same in every case.”

I stop to gaze at another glass handicraft in front of me and Sirius follows my line of sight. It was a deer this time. A magical deer to be exact. It was from a play that has gained popularity from the locals since the past month.

I point at the deer, my index fingertip coming in contact with the warm transparent display case’s surface, “Do you remember this?”

Sirius looks closely at the craft and hums in agreement, “Light in the woods, right? We went to see this play together last week.”

I nod lightly, “In the play, we follow the life of a poor abandoned man who was disowned by his family. He wandered the village aimlessly in search for shelter and food. Days went by with him surviving off of shades under trees, inside caves and fruits that nature could offer until…he encountered the magical deer.”

Sirius gaze shifts towards me but I refuse to meet his eyes and continue looking at the deer shining magnificently in the light, “It was the deer of life, every villager wanted to hunt it for it had the power to grant any wish one could desire. The man was ecstatic and aimed his weapon made out of wood and sharp stone but he couldn’t. Because it was too beautiful to be killed. So he just stared at the beautiful being from a distance not being able to hurt it and watched as it disappeared before his eyes and deep into the woods.”

I look back at Sirius with a smile to find that his smirk has wiped off and his eyes are now a pool of gold, “What I want to say is that beautiful things may be vulnerable but they have the power to make home inside of people’s soul and melt their frozen heart.”

He stays silent possibly tracing my features with his eyes that lacked any emotion as of current but in opposition, my smile only grew bigger as I recall his words, “See, like what you said earlier, you wanted keep that flower but you were afraid it would break if something went wrong. Didn’t that flower despite being fragile and weak change your heart? You were uninterested before but it made you want to protect it, care for it.”

A stunned expression I had never seen before appears on Sirius’ face, his eyes change into the color of the clear sky that loomed over this pretty little shop right now. He was at loss of words before scoffing and looking away, “I….I only said that because cleaning the broken shards of glasses would be too much work.”

I chuckle to myself and make my way to exit the store light on my feet, “Sure whatever makes you sleep at night~”

But not before pausing and looking back him, “I just want you to remember that strength does not only come from physical capabilities. Things that may be physically weak may have the ability to create the strongest impact on people, who knows?”

Then, I walk out of the store, my expression a complete contrast as to when I had entered.

What the girl didn’t know was that the man who had agreed to accompany her today stayed rooted on his feet and blankly stared at her small back walking away. His expression as void as a night sky without any stars but then a small chuckle broke out from his mouth, “You…”

He followed her outside curious to what their next stop would be at and what surprises she would bring him again. However, his feet halted again when he was about pass by the same glass flower that started this entire exchange of their views. His stare so heavy it almost threatened to break the flower into pieces.

Days later, if someone walked into Sirius' room, they could be able to spot a certain new furniture. A singular display shelf that was not there at the start and inside the expensive shelf was another craft made of delicate glass.

The flower was meticulously placed inside along with real flower petals spread around it. The craft looked like it was cleaned daily and the shelf was placed isolated from all the other things in the room signaling that the flower inside was possibly of a great importance.

Another day when the long dark haired man gently took out the art to wipe it clean like he did every other day, he smiled almost mockingly at his own feeble actions and soft touches.

“Ability to change people’s hearts despite being weak…hah, maybe you were right.”

✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚❋ ❋ ❋˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧

I got this idea after remembering how Lee Dam’s strength mainly relies on her mental strength and also bit of summoning power instead of physical fighting ability. ‘Beautiful things can be weak physically but have great power to make homes inside people’s heart and make them soft.’

[asnarkyandironicusername]

Day 24 of @remadoramicrofics - Sneak

Remus found it incredibly hard to concentrate on Mad-eye’s lecture on going undercover with Nymphadora Tonks’s hand tracing filigree patterns on his thigh. It had all started innocently enough, really; she used to sit across from him and he had found it hard enough not to stare at her during meetings, the way she pinched her teeth between her tongue when she was focused or would start morphing her nose or her hair when she grew bored. Then, one meeting she had slid her foot between his. Remus had promptly jerked his feet back under his chair, but she had simply followed him, allowing her feet to rest on top of his as if she were pinning him in place. 

At the next meeting, she was next to him. Remus thought the arrangement might work better; he wasn’t able to see her and there would be no impromptu games of footsie. Things never seemed to go that easy for him, though; halfway through the meeting, he had felt her foot brush up his calf. He figured it was a mistake and tucked himself tighter into his seat, but a moment later, she repeated the gesture.

He never asked her about the touches – wasn’t sure which answer would scare him more – but they continued through meetings and missions alike. It was one one of those missions, where she had been tucked under the invisibility cloak with him, thighs pressed together, where they’d had the first of many conversations.

It was becoming clear that tonight’s stakeout was a waste and Tonks was letting the conversation wander. Eventually, she began asking about Sirius and, in a more roundabout way, James and Lily. She had learned early on that neither Remus nor Sirius would discuss Peter. She had leaned even farther into him. “He’s still handsome, isn’t he, even after Azkaban?”

Remus had laughed softly. Of course she had fallen for his charm – Remus still wasn’t entirely sure how he managed to keep it after so long in Azkaban. “Your mother would have his head, you know.”

“Hm?” she looked at him.

“If Sirius ever so much as looked at you.”

“I’m not –”

Remus clarified, “He always got the women. James was smitten with Lily for years and I…well, Sirius almost never had an empty arm, back in school, I mean.”

Tonks had huffed at him. “You’d know perfectly well who I’ve fallen for, if you weren’t too busy feeling sorry for yourself to notice.”

Remus had looked at her, pink-faced and with an undeniably angry spark in her eyes. His stomach had twisted with elation, but he quickly squashed it down. “Nymphadora…We should get back and handle the report,” he said, promptly standing up and taking her hand before apparating them back to the library of Grimmauld Place.

And then, of course, he had put a stop to the missions – opting for the most dangerous ones, the ones no one else would take. Then Sirius was gone and Remus had moved out to the camp. Nymphadora had tried desperately to change his mind, but Dumbledore wanted a spy and there he was... ready-made. The camp had been miserable. He wasn’t complaining; it was necessary to work and who could do it better than him? But there was endless mistrust and harshness in the camp that made him feel rather useless. 

Often, he’d spend nights there with his mind stuck on Nymphadora and the meetings and the missions and the private evenings that she’d let Sirius regale her with their stories from school. The nights turned into weeks which turned into months before he was summoned by a hasty patronus to return to Hogwarts. There, he had found Arthur and Molly crowding around their oldest son. Thankfully, Bill would not fully suffer the curse. Remus’s curse, however, was far from the back of his mind as Nymphadora, no longer bright and pink, shook his robes in a white-knuckled grip.

“You see!" she said in a strained voice, glaring at him. "She still wants to marry him, even though he's been bitten! She doesn't care!"

"It's different," he argued, feeling like an elastic stretched too far. "Bill will not be a full werewolf. The cases are completely-"

"But I don't care either, I don't care!" said Nymphadora, seizing the front of his robes and shaking them. "I've told you a million times...."

"And I've told you a million times," he whispered, refusing to meet her eyes, staring at the floor, "that I am too old for you, too poor....too dangerous...."

"I've said all along you're taking a ridiculous line on this, Remus," Molly had chided over Fleur's shoulder as she patted her on the back.

"I am not being ridiculous," he responded. "Tonks deserves somebody young and whole."

"But she wants you," Arthur told him with a small smile. "And after all, Remus, young and whole men do not necessarily remain so." He gestured sadly at his son, lying between them.

"This is....not the moment to discuss it," he tried. Now, of all times, to barely have a leg to stand on. "Dumbledore is dead...."

Now, mere months later, she rarely kept her hands off of him. That’s how he found himself struggling to pay attention to the meeting between her tireless hands and her intoxicating perfume. 

He nearly jumped as he felt her hand move up to his shoulder. “Want to sneak off?” she whispered in his ear when he leaned towards her.

“Yes,” he breathed, but placed a hand firmly on her knee, “but we have a meeting to finish, Nymphadora.” As he spoke, he let his pinky finger slip up under the hem of her skirt before quickly retracting his hand and sitting a little straighter in his seat.

Out of the corner of his eye, she tensed and sputtered for just a moment. He grinned, knowing he’d gotten one up on her. Then, her hand was back on his thigh and he prayed Moody would hurry up.

[sofoulandfairaday]

Hi! New follower who saw your post on Sirius headcanons after someone else reblogged it. Sorry if it's old (I don't use Tumblr much) but I absolutely LOVED the list and thought it was very on point, especially the parallels to Bellatrix. I also can't resist asking -- why do you think he was the most powerful of the 4 Marauders?

Hi! Thank you so much ❤️ It's not old at all, and even if it was I would still be delighted to receive this ask.

Why was Sirius the most powerful out of all the Marauders?

Well. All four of them are portrayed as competent and powerful in the books. But. Peter, despite being a much better wizard than we realize at first, and the most well-versed of the four in the Dark Arts, is still portrayed as a fairly mediocre, especially during the First Wizarding War. He did become an Animagus, but only with help from James and Sirius, and he was reportedly a bad duellist (McGonagall's words). He did create that potion for Voldemort's rebirth, but I suspect that it was under Voldemort's direct instruction (man, and these kids think having Snape teach you Potions is bad) so we can say that while he was cunning and self-preserving he was the weakest of the four.

Remus was book-smart, with a wide knowledge, especially in the realm of Dark Creatures, and he's a skilled enough duellist to take part in the battle at the DoM and the Seven Potters, but he's never described as exceptional. Dolohov is, kind of, so I won't hold it against him that he lost. He was probably good with Charms, too (the Patronus Charm is notoriously difficult). Overall, a good teacher but not an exceptional fighter or wizard.

James and Sirius, on the other hand, were openly described as Transfiguration prodigies. They became Animagi at fifteen/sixteen, and James' wand was especially good for Transfiguration, according to the author. They were quick on their feet even back in their Hogwarts days, taking on Snape (bullying Snape and taking him by surprise, but still) who was described as knowing more curses when he arrived at Hogwarts than half the kids in seventh year. Also, James and Lily defied Voldemort three times (at least one of them must have been a skirmish, come on) and He wanted them as Death Eaters, so they must have been good duellists.

But James died at 21. Now, Sirius was imprisoned for twelve years, which one could argue was almost equivalent in terms of magical usage, but in the DoM he takes on Dolohov (reportedly deadly) and Bellatrix and manages to hold his own. He's so confident that he mocks her - “You can do better than that!” (By the way, I know this is off-topic, but there is no way he hasn't seen her in twenty years, just so you know). He knew various Charms (including a Patronus), could do non-verbal magic, from the way Remus talks about him I get the feeling he did better in school (he says something along the lines of he was one of the cleverest students in Hogwarts, or something).

The rest is speculation on my part because we have no confirmation but: Sirius was a Black, he probably knew some magic even before going to school. Also, he wasn't stupid and nothing indicates that he didn't like studying (he knew the entire Transfiguration book in SWM and refuses Remus' offer to study with him), if James had Head Boy duties and Quidditch Practice, I doubt Sirius spent his time lazying around if there was a war. Popular and successful people (like James) like to hang out with their equals. I think he trained since he seemed ahead enough on his coursework. A war was coming, his Death Eater brother was proof enough of that.

[jmagnabo92]

S&H Bonding Part 11 - The Past

The holidays continued in much of the same way, Sirius and Harry spent their days talking about Harry’s childhood or Sirius’ favorite stories about James and Lily.  Most of the Order continued to be wary, but Molly seemed to be trying to leave to their bonding time by themselves, often intervening with the other kids that seemed to want to be in on their private conversations.  

It was very thoughtful of her.

Of course, Sirius couldn’t forget all of the times that she had intervened in their relationship over the summer, but it’s nice to have that support now.  He’s been a lot better than he was over the summer and her wariness probably made sense back then.

On Christmas Eve, Sirius decides to play the piano that he had moved to the sitting room.  Harry sits beside him, smiling even as he misses the keys.  “I’m so bad at this.”

Sirius chuckles.  “It takes time to learn – I wouldn’t expect you to be able to learn in an afternoon.”

“I learned flying in an afternoon,” Harry counters.

“That’s natural talent, general speaking it takes time to hone a new skill.”

“Yeah, I suppose.”  Harry looks very disappointed and unhappy to be playing the piano with Sirius.

Sirius frowns, “If you don’t want to learn it – that’s okay.”

Harry shrugs, “You said that it was something you did when you were younger – so I am fine learning.”

“Kid, if you don’t want to learn – we don’t have to do it,” Sirius repeats.  The last thing he wants to do is force something on Harry.

“But you want to teach me,” Harry replies, his eyes big and curious.

“I want to do something that we both enjoy,” Sirius counters.  Harry’s making a face that tells him that he’s not exactly comfortable with the idea of voicing anything against what Sirius may want, so Sirius takes the initiative.  “How ‘bout this?  We can talk about the map and how it all works like I told you I would when we have the time.”  

Harry lights up, evidently excited about learning more about his and James’ talents and efforts.  “I’d like that.”

“Why don’t you go get it?” Sirius asks, and Harry doesn’t even hesitate to rush up the stairs to go get it.

“Er – Sirius,” George asks, hesitantly.  “Why would you know anything about the map?”

“Because he’s Padfoot, obviously,” Harry says, back in record time.  “That’s why I call him, ‘Pads’.”

“What did you do?  Fly up and down the stairs?”  

“I was excited,” Harry replies, looking a little sheepish.  

Sirius is sure he just summoned the map since he knows his magic won’t register but doesn’t want to get into trouble.  “Alright, kid.”

Sirius turns to the twins and grins at the stunned look on the twins faces as Harry says the password and lays it out on the floor.  They move to sit around it, including the twins, Ron, Ginny and Hermione.  

“You never said –” George starts.

“It’s not my fault, you didn’t notice,” Harry states, stiffly.  “I mean, Lupin and Pads haven’t exactly hidden it either – Lupin regularly calls him ‘Padfoot’ and Pads regularly calls him ‘Moony’.”

“Someone called?” Remus asks appearing in the doorway.  “Is that the map?  Why is it out now?”

“Harry has been curious about the map for some time, and I thought I’d explain a bit about what we did with it.  How it came to be,” Sirius offers.  “Why don’t you join us?”

“On the floor?” Remus questions, looking quite like he’d rather not sit on the floor.  “I’m a little too old for that.”

Sirius gives him a look.  “I’m older than you.”

Remus rolls his eyes, playfully, but still sits, smiling.  “Only by a few months.  Always reminding us that you’re the oldest.”

“And yet, I wasn’t the first name on the map,” Sirius jokes.  He had spent months arguing that because he’s the oldest that he should get to have his name first on the map.

“If we had gone in birth order, it wouldn’t have sounded as well.  It works better in the order it’s in,” Remus retorts.

“You’re just saying that because you’re first,” Sirius laughs.  It was such a familiar argument that he could almost imagine being in the dormitory arguing the first time.

“No, Padfoot, Wormtail, Moony and Prongs just doesn’t roll off the tongue the way that Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs does,” Remus states.  “It’s just a bonus that it means that I get to be first.”

They both laugh, before Sirius turns to the kids, particularly his kid.  “So!  First, we should probably start with why we created the map…”

“... it has nothing to do with the fact that we are nosy gits,” Remus finishes, trying to say it with a straight face and utterly failing.  

They burst out laughing, before Sirius clears his throat.  “We didn’t use the map for that, it was more that we just wanted to sneak around more confidently.”  

Particularly he and James, who wanted to get away with some of their more interesting fun that he would definitely not be talking about to the kids.  

“Anyway,” Sirius coughs.  “It wasn’t hard to find a big enough parchment, but it’s incredibly hard to get all of the details of Hogwarts and it’s moving parts, so we had to spend a lot of time drawing and sneaking around to get everything in detail.”

“So this is all hand drawn?” Harry asks, looking at the extreme details.

Sirius nods.  “Once we had a section that was accurate and verified, we’d transfer it onto the map and make it come alive if need be.”

“We spent months researching what spells would work,” Remus offers. ��“The whole thing took years to do.”

“Moony was in charge of research since the rest of us were busy …”

“Being nosy gits?” Harry teases.

“Oi!” Sirius says, playfully offended.  The kids laugh.  “No, working on the Animagus transformation.”

“Yes.  They were busy making those strides while I looked up the spells.  The map was a long term project for me since I couldn’t join them in the Animagus project,” Remus explains.  

“Of course we all did our part.  Moony got the spells research, but we each had to learn and apply them.  It takes a little of all of our magic imbedded in the map to power it, so we needed all of us to place the spells on it, but that came last.”

“Right, the spells were applied last, so the next steps after determining the spells we needed, we had to map out the whole castle.”

Sirius grins, “We had so much fun.  Sneaking around the school in James’ cloak.  Plotting ways to get into the professor’s quarters and the common rooms we didn’t have access to.”

“It wasn’t that hard, all you had to do was find a Hufflepuff, Slytherin, and Ravenclaw and stalk them under the cloak and listen for their password and then use it when no one was around,” Remus counters.  “Instead, you came up with elaborate plans just because you could.”

“Yeah, that’s too easy.  We wanted to make it more fun.”  Sirius notices Harry, Ron and Hermione sharing looks.  “What?  We like fun, elaborate plans.  Why make it easy?”

Unfortunately, it seems like something else is going on because Hermione puts her face in her hands and is muttering about a month with a cat face for no reason.

He and Remus share a look.  “Someone want to explain?”

He’s giving Harry a look, hoping that he’ll be honest with him.

Harry grimaces.  “Ron and I might have used Polyjuice potion in second year to sneak into Slytherin and interrogate Malfoy on the heir of Slytherin and the Chamber of Secrets stuff.”

“Except he knew nothing, and Hermione spent a month with a cat face because she accidentally used cat hair,” Ron adds.

“And it was all for nothing because we could’ve just used the cloak,” Hermione groans.

Sirius isn’t sure how to react to this explanation, but Remus appears to be curious.

“How did you get Polyjuice?”

“We made it ourselves.  Tricked Lockhart so we could get the book with the recipe,” Harry states looking uncertainly at Sirius.

“Yeah, wasn’t that hard.  The git signs anything you put in front of him,” Ron jokes.

“We made it in Moaning Myrtles bathroom,” Hermione says.  “Rarely anyone goes in there.”

“But that was a good thing because it turns out to hold the entrance to the chamber,” Harry finishes.

That one statement was enough to piece together some unfortunate pieces that Harry was somehow pulled into the vaguely mentioned chamber of secrets incident that no one has given him the explicit details of and honestly, he’s rather freaked out.  

He almost can’t breathe at the thought of Harry battling some unknown monster at twelve.  He looks at Harry, who’s clearly worried about him, and he chokes out, “Need a minute” before rushing out of the room.  He’s not sure where to go – but as he changes into Padfoot, he finds himself rushing up the stairs to be with Buckbeak.  The hippogriff would help calm him down just by his presence.

He transforms into himself to enter the room and bows to Buckbeak, who bows back.  Then, he transforms into Padfoot.  He didn’t need to talk… just escape.

How had his kid ended up in the Chamber of Secrets?  How had he ended up in deadly situations year after year?  What was he going to do with his kid?  This kid that’s going to give him a heart attack someday?

All he knows is that he has got to get himself together.  His reaction has probably freaked out Harry, and no doubt, Harry might second guess telling him things now.

In fact, he’s probably worried about Sirius going off the deep end and getting himself in trouble.

“Oh good, you’re in here.  I was worried for a second,” Harry says, confirming Sirius’ thoughts.  He enters the room, bows to Buckbeak, who bows back, and then sits down beside Sirius as Padfoot.  “I’m sorry that I haven’t told you about some of the things that have happened to me.”

Sirius gives him a look, unsure if he should transform.  

“But you probably want to hear at least some of what happened… since Padfoot helps, maybe I could tell you now?”

Sirius gives him a nod.  He’s not sure that he wants to know, but if Harry’s willing to confess, maybe he wants to talk about it.

Harry smiles, nervously.  “Well, I’ll start with first year, most of it was good, but…”

Harry details his Hogwarts letters and his magical incidents before he knew, confessing about the cupboard which has Sirius growling.  He tells Sirius not to worry about it that it’s over now and someday they’ll get what’s coming to them.  Then he talks about Hagrid, everything in Diagon Alley, the incident with the train, meeting everyone.

“The number of people that thought it was okay or a good idea to claim that they already know me was appalling.  I hate it so much; I can’t even explain.  Anyway…”

He details school life, his awful professors not doing anything for him, the incident with the Remembrall and getting on the quidditch team.

Sirius is actually really proud of that.  He’s sure James was screaming excitedly in the afterlife the same way he would’ve been had he’d seen it.

Then, he goes into the midnight duel, the mess at Halloween – saving Hermione, the attack on him during the quidditch game, the Christmas holidays (poor kid), finding Flamel, and Hagrid’s baby dragon mess (the reaction to the whole story of the hatching, arranging transport, getting caught, the sheer absurdity of the points and detention in the out of bound forbidden forest, plus the students’ reaction).

“It wasn’t too bad,” Harry assures.  “I’ve now dealt with worse.  It was hard at the time – I seriously wanted to quit quidditch it was so bad.  Can’t imagine what life would’ve been like without it, now, but I really just wasn’t happy – being unwanted and treated like that was something I’m used to at the Dursleys, but to suddenly have that at school by my own teammates and housemates – it sucked.”

Sirius whines.  He hated thinking of his kid suffering so much that he wanted to quit his favorite sport.

“Anyway, we thought Snape was going to steal the stone because of the incident during Detention and what I’d seen between him and Quirrell.  We tried to go to Dumbledore but he was flying to the Ministry and so we told McGonagall.  She dismissed us.”

Harry pauses, “You’re going to be pretty mad at this next bit, but I just want to remind you that I am alive.”

Sirius gives him a look.  That statement doesn’t make him any less angry at what he suspects happened.  If Harry went after the stone because McGonagall decided to dismiss him, and nearly died, someone’s getting bitched at.  

Harry goes on anyway, explaining about the situation with sneaking out and down the trapdoor.  Sirius is suspicious of the situation with how it easy it was for the kids to do it.  By the time he gets to Quirrell and the mirror, Sirius is furious.  It was some sort of setup; a test of sorts and he’s pissed.  He’s growling throughout the explanation, which barely lessons when Harry wakes up in the hospital three days later.  Three days.  The thought that his kid was unconscious, in the hospital, for three days has him so furious – even as Padfoot – that he knows he’s going to rage for hours against Dumbledore the next time he sees him.  

Harry’s looking at him, worriedly.  He stops growling and rubs his head against Harry’s hand, hoping that he’ll start petting again and continue.

Harry sighs and finishes out the year.  Sirius is genuinely upset that all of a sudden people like Harry again.  That he had to save the day to get treated right.  It makes him furious.

Harry doesn’t stop, launching into second year and how boring the Dursleys before stopping, “What kicks off the whole Chamber of Secrets mess starts at the Dursleys, and I need you to promise that you won’t go kill them.”

Sirius snorts.  If he was going to kill the Dursleys, he would’ve done it already.  Unfortunately, he’s painfully clear that no matter how many people hurt his kid, he can’t do anything, yet.  Nothing legal anyway.  

Harry takes that as the promise.

“Alright, well, Dobby was aware of a plan to give a special object to Hogwarts and start the whole nonsense because he was a Malfoy elf, and he knew what Malfoy was up to… so he tried to stop me from going to Hogwarts to protect ‘the great Harry Potter’, blah, blah, blah….”

Sirius snorts, again.  That elf certainly has a thing for his kid.  

Harry continues, clearly not bothered by Sirius’ snort.  He talks about being excited for Vernon’s proclamation at breakfast and thinking it meant he remembered Harry’s birthday and detailing what was expected of him.  Sirius starts growling, again, angry that Harry spent his twelfth birthday all alone, doing chores, being barely fed and then, spending the evening pretending he didn’t exist.  

Only that wasn’t the worst bit.

Dobby had nearly cost Harry his life when he deliberately caused issues for Harry.  Obviously, Harry is alive and fine, but even with him glossing over everything that happened when Dobby ruined the Dursleys’ night, Sirius can’t help imagining his twelve-year-old kid locked in a room, slowing starving to death, just because of some house elf that shouldn’t even have been able to find him if Dumbledore’s blood protection was to be believed.  

Dobby might’ve been a boon in recent months, but he’s quite angry that he could’ve gotten Harry killed.  Then again, he’s furious that Dumbledore’s so-called protection – the one that kept Harry at the Dursleys for a month over the summer – obviously didn’t hold up well at all.  Of course, he suspected given the guard on Harry over the summer.  A guard that somehow didn’t notice Harry’s clear abuse.  

Suddenly, he realizes that Harry’s still talking about the twins and Ron saving him by breaking him out, the rest of the summer (no wonder he’s angry that the Weasleys claim that he’s like a son given he almost died, and they still didn’t offer a home), the mess at the floo and bookstore, Dobby’s blocking the barrier and flying a car to school.  

Sirius would be laughing his arse off at that, but right now, he’s just confused.  He has plenty of questions, but it appears that Harry’s too busy talking and petting him to bother checking Sirius for a response.  Sirius wonders if Harry ever told anyone these stories before.  Clearly, now that he’s started, he just wants to let it all out.  

Maybe Sirius should’ve turned into Padfoot over the summer to bond with Harry.

Harry continues talking about the ridiculousness of Colin Creevey being the worst fanboy ever, at least Ginny didn’t follow him around and talk his ear off.  He talks about Lockhart, quidditch (Wood is something else), Snape’s assholery behavior, and the detention.  He talks about everyone knowing everything about him and the weird situation of voices in the walls.

Then, he got to the specifics: The Death Day party (cruel thing to do to his kid who was orphaned that day), the message on the wall, the instant suspicion on Harry (that makes no sense), Dobby and the quidditch game (another thing to be annoyed with Dobby about – downright furious at Wood’s callous words), and Colin’s attack.  

“There was a dueling club – Malfoy sent a snake at me in front of everyone and I spoke to it – that’s how I found out about my parseltongue ability.”  

Here, Harry looks down at him uncertainly.  Sirius nods and rubs his head against Harry’s hand to show that he doesn’t think any differently of Harry for his ability.  He’s surprised that Harry didn’t know that Sirius had already been aware of his ability.  Harry smiles and goes on.

“Dealing with the suspicion was awful.  But it did encourage me to try and figure out who was doing it – hence the Polyjuice potion to sneak into the Slytherin dorms on Christmas…”

He details the second holidays, their plot with the Polyjuice, issues with Myrtle (who had – has – a crush on Harry), and their crazy plan only somewhat working.  The dead-end had been disappointing, but they continued on with investigating as more attacks happen and Harry keeps somehow ending up at every scene.  Poor kid.  

“And then, just when I thought Lockhart couldn’t get any dumber, he decides to ‘celebrate’ the situation by having dwarf cupids running around giving out singing valentines.  Sheer chaos.  He also told us to ask Snape about whipping up a love potion and seriously, he looked like he’d kill anyone who’d ask for something like that.”  Harry laughs, “And of course, despite everyone thinking I was setting a monster about the castle, I got a few valentines.  There’s this one that was so embarrassing, I tried to run and dwarf tackled me  – it was in front of so many people – including Malfoy, of course…”

Sirius is surprised when Harry actually sings it:

His eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad

His hair as dark as a blackboard

I wish he was mine, he’s really Devine,

The hero who conquered the Dark Lord

“I tried to laugh it off, but it was so embarrassing and of course the twins spent the evening singing it out loud to me all night – I know it wasn’t them though, in case you’re wondering.”

Of course, Sirius knows that.  He’s betting it was Ginny, but the Creevey kid is a possibility.  

“Anyway, the only good thing was that I figured out how the diary worked…”

Of course, he continues to poke around and finds the diary, which he didn’t know was so special, but had some weird interest in.  He details talking to the diary, which talked back, causing major concern for Sirius.  A diary like that was serious dark magic.  He would’ve been yelling if he could when Harry detailed the diary showing him scenes from 1946.  Something wasn’t right, but with Harry petting him, he couldn’t change back, probably for the best – his anger could scare Harry off from finishing the story.

Harry continues, “I really didn’t want to ask Hagrid about his potential involvement, so we kind of pushed it off, even after the original borrower of the diary ransacked my stuff to get it back.  Especially since things were fine until there was another attack… this time on Hermione right before the quidditch game.”

Sirius whines.  He feels bad that the situation had returned and this time so close to home.  It must have been devastating for Harry and Ron.  However, the attack made most students realize that it wasn’t him.

Harry explains about the resolve to sneak away and discuss with Hagrid only for Fudge and a Lucius Malfoy to show up.  He mentions Fudge and his corrupt ways with the arrest of Hagrid and Dumbledore’s sacking.  Sirius agrees with the latter but disagrees with the former – at least the Azkaban part.  Since Hagrid was seemingly involved the first time (and those attacks stopped with his expulsion), it makes sense to remove him from the school, but not arrest him without proof.  

He explains about Hagrid’s ‘follow the spiders’ message and now, Sirius has a new thing to be angry with Hagrid about.  Sirius is growling throughout the whole story of his and Ron’s adventure into the nest of man eating spiders.  He couldn’t imagine what he’d do if he had watched Harry’s adventures without knowing that he survives.  

“So we learned a few things, the security was tight, so we barely got the opportunity to visit Hermione, who had ripped out a page regarding the snake in the Chamber.  Once the announcement about Ginny was made, we went back to the common room only to eventually decide that we needed to tell Lockhart what we knew so he’d be prepared.  Unfortunately, the man was a fraud…”

He details the entire events from visiting Lockhart to the return and telling Dumbledore the story.  Sirius had whined and growled at very places, only having Harry present, alive, and petting him had managed to keep him from completely losing mind.  Everything he’d gone through – almost dying – would’ve had Sirius flipping out.  Hogwarts was obviously not safe for his kid and as happy as he is for the Weasleys, he’s very upset that Harry had to save the day.  And even more pissed at Percy for his letter now.

“Now, I know you know about some stuff from third and fourth year, but I figure I could give you some details about the things you missed, like blowing up Aunt Marge…”

Although Sirius was angry at the Dursleys for allowing the situation, listening to his kid talking about standing up for his parents and ballooning Vernon’s sister was a delight, too bad she wouldn’t remember it.  Sirius is furious at the Ministry for wanting to send him back after that, but Harry continues on.  He gets through third year much faster than first and second, only getting into the details for things he wants to complain about (like Trelawney and not going to Hogsmeade), things he enjoyed, or things that were fun troublemaking or funny to him (like how he got the map in the first place or the maps reaction to Snape and winning the quidditch cup).  He skips entirely over the events of that night except to explain why they were at Hagrid’s and the time turner.  Overall, somehow a better year.

“And you know most of fourth year, but there’s some details I didn’t tell you, yet, so…”

Sirius could tell that Harry just wants someone to listen and that he’s actually feeling better just talking about everything.  Just like he’d said way back when Sirius gave him the mirror, he never really had someone want to know everything or got to talk about it much.  Hence reveling in the chance to tell Sirius the details of his life.

Even the embarrassing ones.

“Okay, obviously, I was under a lot of stress, but I’m kind of amazed that Cho still fancied me after that,” Harry adds when he details the events leading up to the first task and snapping on Cho, not realizing it was her.  “And of course, I should’ve asked her sooner, but I didn’t know about the ball and honestly, I was disaster with girls last year…”

At this, Sirius gives him a look.

“Oi!  I’ve gotten tons better this year.”  A snort by Sirius and Harry says, “I have!  Just let me tell you how bad I was at the ball…”

Sirius would’ve been laughing so hard that he couldn’t breathe at Harry’s explanation of the ball, but couldn’t as Padfoot, instead he plots ways to embarrass Harry once he can talk while continuing to listen to Harry’s mess up.  He’s right, Harry has gotten loads better with dating since the previous year.  

Eventually though, he gets back to more serious things like the Hagrid mess and figuring out the egg clue.  It’s just when he gets though Myrtle showing up in his bath when they hear:

“WHAT DO YOU LOT THINK YOU’RE DOING?”

Jarring them from their comfortable spot and looking at the door where Sirius just happens to spy the extendable ear pop away.  Sirius glances at Harry, who looks devastated that everything he told Sirius could have been overheard by his friends.  Clearly, he wouldn’t want them to know and now they do.

“Why don’t you go up to your room and I’ll take care of this?” Sirius offers immediately turning back into himself.

Harry gives him a grateful look and takes off upstairs, while Sirius heads downstairs.  He reaches the landing with the drawing room, where Molly is yelling at the remaining kids and Tonks.

“What the hell is going on here?” Sirius thunders, angrily.  Based off the disappearing extendable ear and Molly’s tirade that he’s heard the beginnings of that mentioned privacy and eavesdropping, he’s sure that he already knows.

“Oh, Sirius, I’m so sorry.  I thought I had a handle on their eavesdropping – somehow, they must’ve created more of those ridiculous ears.  I don’t know how long they were listening or how much they heard, but rest assured they will be punished for the rest of the holiday – so busy cleaning or other chores that they won’t have time to bother you or Harry again as soon as I’m done yelling at them,” Molly says.  “Unless you’d like to yell at them?”

He’s tempted but they (minus Hermione and Tonks) are her kids, she should discipline them.  

He clears his throat.  “If I started yelling, I’d probably say something we’d all regret.  So, I’ll leave the punishing to you.  I just need to know: how long?”

He’s staining at the kids, who are not looking at him.  All of them looking down in shame.

“Answer him,” Molly says, sternly.

There’s a cough, and Fred answers, “The beginning.  Lupin went to get tea when Harry went after you and…. we couldn’t help ourselves.”

Sirius gives an angry snort, and figures nothing more needs to be said as he turns and takes off up the stairs.  

He’s got a kid to console.

[knight-already]

This is pretty but at the same time if nearly killing Snape was not enough to make him open his eyes and see what the hatred they were creating in the boy nearly resulted in.. with Lupin nearly reaping the consequences for all of them , nothing can . And James Bareilly Developing a conscience after all of this donsent mean Snape himself should be over the moon with joy , or forgive . Snape got nothing out of James “changing ”, no one cared about telling him they were sorry.

This is what im trying to say, sorry if it didn't read all that well.Ill try to explain a bit better.

James straight up doesnt care, it wasnt an accident, he knbows hes bullying him. he knows he’s hurting him and others. HE DOES NOT CARE. (caps for refence for how much he could careless about severus or the damage he caused him.)

He also does not develop a conscience after all of this. again. Hes not sorry, he knows what he did, its not his first time. and it wasnt his last.

He doesnt care, he would do it again.

SNape was not the cause for change and neither was lily. It was all for sirius.

Im afraid i have to go into my hc, but just give it a mintue:

After SWM we cant see what james says after; he says he is going to take off his pants.

What I like to think happens is: A friend of SEverus’ who is now coming out of exams comes running to help him because its all the students are talking about.

This raveclaw kid beats up Sirus and James, really bad and saves severus.

Thus James calls in his parents for some justice because Why would Dumbledor do anytrhing? he never does.

But after hearing what His son did. James dad trys to make it right, he makes james apologise, because he was bullied too when he was young and this is not the ,man he wants his son to be. BUT its to late.

Sirius’ parents meanwhile are happy as hell, their sson is doing what he should to mudnbloods. Im sure sirius tried to justify his actions saying snape was a halfblood so its not the same, but to his parents a halfblood is no better than a mudblood. Maybe if he had a pureblood last name like Harry does but he doesnt he’s a mudblood last name.

because he gave James Potter power over the slyderins, the most power a student can have really just one year after , and what in the name of God could have James done in the mean time that he was more worthy than anyone else.

The fight with Sirius and his parents is what made him change his mind.

Not because of severus, OR lily.

Sirius who needed him but James wasn't allowed friends over. James then swore that he wouldn't do such large shows anymore, so he pulls back on pranks.

WE know this because Sirius told Harry. That his dad deflated his head, and got better at hiding it.

So, Dumblore feels that, He has changed for the better. but its not to say he hasnt ultermotives

The position was his because dumbledor wanted to recruit people in his army and he needed charismatic pure bloods for it .

also keep in mind:

Aside from his bullying students relentlessly, James was a good student, he was a great quidditch play, he was good at this subject or  that subject. and Im sure the bullying was chalked up to BOYS being boys.

she dint seem to realise it , probably with head so full of" I can change him “ , and it is fucking disgusting, that she still needed it as a ground rule

This made me laugh, she does give, “I CHAnGE HiM” energy

I MADE  a post about the fact that she actually liked james from as early as the werewolf prank, here

Heres a bit of it

the accident where Sirius almost kills Severus she probably thought after she heard james saved severus

"this was it! He is decent guy he helped Severus! she doesnt have to feel so guilty about her feelings now right?"

then they argue, about Mulciber and Avery -- so that would explain why severus would get a feeling and react like he did!

"Saved? Saved? You think he was playing the hero? He was saving his neck and his friends' too! You're not going to-- I won't let you--"

"Let me? Let me?"

Lily's bright green eyes were slits. Snape backtracked at once.

"I didn't mean-- I just don't want to see you made a fool of-- He fancies you, James Potter fancies you!" The words seemed wrenched from him against his will. "And he's not...everyone thinks...big Quidditch hero--" Snape's bitterness and dislike were rendering him incoherent, and Lily's eyebrows were traveling farther and farther up her forehead.

-

-

The moment she had insulted James Potter, his whole body had relaxed, and as they walked away there was a new spring in Snape's step...

Yep her feelings were slipping out and Severus noticed.

James change had no sacrifice involved not even of pride and that no change at all in my eyes .

Because he didn’t change, he made a change.

HIs change was so Sirius would not be put in danger again. THAT was his change. HE DID HIS BULLYING ON THE DOWN LOW. BUT EVERYONE THOUGH HE CHANGED.

BUT HE DIDNT.

HE IS A NASTY BULLY WHO FELT NO REMORSE.

HE FOOLED EVERYONE, AND GOT PRASIED AND NO ONE LISTEDN TO THE PPL HE BULLIED.

SO THATS WHY PPL THOUGH HE CHANGED THATS WHY HE WWAS CELEBRATED AS A CHANGED GOOD MAN, BUT HE WAS NOTHING MORE THAN A LIAR.

I just realizes something oml look at this post

The maurders  map was created between 1975 and 1978

during the time when he was bullying on the down low, he was using the map to corner his victims. so there were no witnesses.

James Potter acting like lily Evans defender right after he himself menaged to push his victim over the edge , and after telling the prefect girl that she should shut it , unless she was willing to exchange between Snape safety and her ability too choose if she was willing to date him or not, is some of the most disgusting shit I've ever seen . He tells a Muggleborn perfect, in some presumably very dark times , in front of a hell lot of people that she should stick to what she is good at , being nice to look at ,and dont worry her silly little brain about things she had no place in , like giving pure blood James Potter orders , that not even undermining her authority that literally pissing on it. He e is treatening her with what he can do to a friend of hers if she doesn't accept his "feelings", and when that doesn't work he treatens her directly for daring to talk back to him . If this dosent show he believed him self untoucheble I don't know what does , we never see someone literally blatantly refuse a direct order prefect before in the series until that moment , or even after . Add to that that his first reaction is too

"punish " with fucking sexual assault, to humiliate his victim to the maximus , because he is angry ? Like he was just an innocent spectator in all of this ? . Fuck this character , I despise with everything I have in my soul

[luveline]

this early dancing (1/2) | sirius black x reader

Sirius turned the camera on your faces. You rested your cheek against his arm and smiled shyly, happy to see his handsome grin.

“Stop hiding. We need a good one to look back on,” he said seriously.

“We take photos all the time,” you argued.

“Indulge me.”

summary blindly in love with your best friend Sirius you find yourself sharing a room with him on a group holiday to the seaside. it wasn’t ever going to go any other way [11k]

warnings fluff, smut, marauders era, mutual pining, idiots in love, she/her pronouns used for reader, fem!reader

With your head sticking out the window of James Potter's people carrier you felt like you were flying, face tilted up to the sun to soak in the seaside warmth. You couldn't be far from the Potter cottage now, having played passenger as peacefully as you were able to for hours now whilst the boys took turns driving.

"Moons," Sirius said from behind the wheel. Remus lifted his eyes from the book he was fighting to read in annoyance - you hadn't left him alone since the trip had begun, and only with your head out the window had he managed to return to his well worn novel.

"What?"

"Pull her back in, would you?" he requested, nodding his head towards you. Remus' warm hand grabbed blindly at the short sleeve of your t-shirt until you conceded and sat flat again.

"Pull her?" James muttered from the front seat, tired from driving the first half of the road trip. "I barely know 'er."

"That 'barely' works," Lily complained from his side, though she wiped the hair from his forehead tenderly.

Marlene booed from behind Remus, which had her seat mates Dorcas and Mary laughing jovially. Emmeline took no notice of any of it at Remus' other side, also reading.

"I don't care how you do it, get her down," Sirius said in concern.

"She's down," you assured him.

"Lovely Y/N will live to see another day," Mary agreed, low voice soft and lilting.

You blushed from all the attention and shimmied down.

"She's embarrassed!" Marlene cooed, reaching over to pinch your shoulders.

Sirius peaked in the rear view mirror and grinned. "Don't be embarrassed, but please leave the dog like activity to me."

"If that's a sex joke, I don't get it," Emmeline said.

"And who does that surprise?" Remus muttered.

You laughed behind your hand, boiling now from the heat. You couldn't help from fidgeting, pulling the fabric of your shirt away from your sticky chest, concerned you looked a sight. Not that the other members of your troupe looked any better; Remus fought a good fight but ultimately didn't look as unbothered by the heat as he acted. James was openly complaining about the sun from the front seat, arguing that he should be allowed to sleep in the relative darkness of the back.

"Too bad, Pots," Marlene said, pressed up against Mary and Dorcas. Only the cool safety allowed them to maintain friendly contact without melting, you knew, and felt very jealous.

"We earned these seats fair and square," agreed Dorcas, legs thrown over your seat, sandal clad toes poking in between you and Remus.

"You cheated! No way can somebody win rock paper scissors 23 times in a row," James said conspiringly.

"Prove it."

You quite fancied that she'd cheated too, though you knew better than to give James any fuel for his fire. Sirius, despite the many years of friendship, had not learned this lesson yet, and so he said, "She definitely did."

"Thank you! Thank you, Pads," he leaned over Lily's arm to grasp his best friend's arm, "my bro."

"Ew, ew, ew! They're getting gooey!"

"They can't help their love," Mary said to Dorcas, patting her arm. "Don't give them too much shit for it."

Sirius leaned his head down to kiss James hand and almost crashed into an oncoming car.

"Lily! Tell your boyfriend's boyfriend to keep his eyes on the road!" Dorcas roared, sandals twitching.

You leaned forward to press your hand at the back of Sirius' neck. "Watch the road, loverboy."

"You got it, sweetheart," he said, eyes obediently on the journey ahead.

Determined to ignore the pleasure that shot through you at the sincere pet name you ran your fingers through the raven hairs at the back of his neck and noted how it was damp with sweat. You pulled the bobble from your wrist and pushed up onto your feet as tall as you could manage, neck craned against the roof of the van to pull his hair back from his face delicately until it was in a moderately neat ponytail at the back of his head. You made quick work of the bobble and tucked the piece you'd missed behind his ear.

"Thank you," he said warmly. Then, "Put your belt on, idiot."

You scratched the skin behind his ear lightly in acknowledgement, a silent you're welcome between you both, and sat back down.

James soon fell asleep against Lily's shoulder. She held his face to her chest tightly and kissed his forehead. You made yourself look away to study the book in Remus' hands.

Remus said something to you and you missed it, attention monopolised by Sirius' soft singing along to the radio. "Hmm?" you asked him, blinking.

"How's your car sickness?" he asked.

You smiled dismissively at your friend's concern. "Fine. Better if I don’t look down for a while.”

He nodded. You went back to your silence and found your stomach turning quickly after that, punished for trying to read while the van rocked. You pushed your face out the window again, eyes on the quick-approaching sea. It was a stunning blue, sunlight blinding you as it bounced off the waves. You squinted and held your hand up uselessly.

"Here," Sirius said, hand reaching back. He was offering his sunglasses to you through the gap.

"Thank you," you said. His finger danced a quick line over your hand, his own silent you’re welcome, and then he was back to driving.

You loved most about your friendship with Sirius the things you didn't have to say. You weren't sure when the scratching had begun, only that it had, and that the slither of intimacy drove you insane.

Pushing his sunglasses up your nose you turned back to the view. The lenses helped dull the bright light of the waves nicely but they did nothing for your best friend; Sirius was as golden as ever. You found him difficult to look at, sometimes.

"How far are we now?" Lily asked quietly, hand in James' hair.

"Not far," Sirius murmured, voice sending tingles through your chest, "and then our summer can really begin."

You gulped a breath of fresh air and willed the nausea away, not fully confident it was car sickness after all. Remus nudged you with his elbow. "You want a polo?"

You laughed weakly. "No."

"Might make you less ill."

"I'm alright."

He huffed like he didn't believe you. You were amazed at his ability to keep his eyes on the page and unwrap a polo mint for you at the same time. He pressed it into your hand. "Eat that, dove."

You smiled gratefully. "Thank you."

"Welcome."

You sucked on the mint and twiddled your thumbs. You wished you would've put your camera around your wrist rather than in your suitcase. If anything you could've been taking sneaky pictures of the back row for you and Sirius to pick over later - you were sure Marlene was dating Dorcas. Sirius was sure it was Mary. James swore up and down it was Dorcas and Mary where Remus shrugged and said it was nobody's business. Lily definitely knew and wasn't telling. Alice probably knew because Lily knew, and Emmeline was about as oblivious to it all as she was everything else.

You didn't know who was snogging who but you knew for certain it wasn't you.

Sirius caught your eye in the rear view mirror. "What're you eating?"

You bit the polo between your teeth and bared it to him.

"Working?"

You nodded.

"Alright. Let me know if you want to pull over."

"Fuck off! If we stopped every time Y/N gets sick we'll never get there," Marlene protested, and then, "Hey! Stop fucking pinching me."

"Be nicer," Mary said softly.

"You first."

"We don't need to pull over. I'm fine."

"Better we pull over then have the car smell like sick all day," Dorcas argued.

"Guys," you were almost begging now, desperate for the attention to be on somebody else, "I won't be sick."

"You won't be," Remus said firmly.

"Aim for Moony's lap," Sirius advised.

-

No sooner had the people carrier pulled onto the Potter cottage driveway had you thrown the door open to keel over by the front garden grass. You were breathing heavily in an effort to overcome the sinking feeling, more than relieved to finally be on solid, unmoving ground. You could smell salt and clay on the breeze, the sun-warmed grass soft under your feet.

Sirius came up behind you, pushing his hand over the skin between your shoulder blades.

He didn't say anything. You'd played these parts before: disapparation made you feel sick, too, and the floo, and brooms and trains and planes - it all made you sick to your stomach. You could barely withstand a piggyback.

You swallowed a heave desperately.

"If you need to be sick, be sick," Sirius said gently.

You wanted to tell him to fuck off, suddenly and unfairly infuriated with him. His hand felt like a poker on your shoulders and you wanted to shrug out from underneath his touch. You recognised that was insane and not an appropriate reaction to your best friend comforting you and so you let him rub what was intended to be a soothing path up past your shoulders and then down to the bottom of your back.

You could hear Lily cheering about the sunset. You could see the pink purple sky out of the corner of your eye and worried you were missing an extraordinary picture.

"Alright?" Sirius asked, noticing your stillness.

You stood up, nodding. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders and shook you about, squeezing. "God, I'm sorry. You really can't handle it, can you? Poor girl."

You relaxed under his arm and let him steer you to the cliffside overlooking the beach where everybody else had gathered. The sky was a shock of cherry pink at the horizon melting up into a deeper purple. You felt your lips part at the sight. No matter how many photographs you took of the sky on your shoddy camera, it never looked like the real thing.

You and Sirius looked at each other and grinned. Your eyes darted from eye to eye, pupils wobbling, and Sirius pulled his arm away, patting you on the shoulder.

"Where's your camera? That'll be a nice one to commemorate our first night here."

You retrieved your camera from the boot and noticed Alice and Frank's car pulling in.

"Perfect timing!" you called to them, grinning. "Group photo."

Your friend's all piled in for the photograph. The girl’s gathered in the middle, Alice with Frank on one end and Lily on the other. James was pressed tiredly to Lily's side whilst Sirius had wrapped his arm around the exhausted boy's shoulder. Remus was begrudgingly pulled into the throng of women in the middle.

"Alright, guys. Say cheese," you said, raising your camera.

"Hey! It has a timer, doesn't it?" Lily protested.

"Set it up on the birdbath, love!"  James called.

You rolled your eyes but did as they asked. With the camera ticking you rushed over to Sirius' side, who pushed you in between him and James and stretched his hand back over your shoulder. He smelled familiarly of his cologne.

"Big smiles!" Lily said loudly.

You smiled wide. The camera flashed brightly and then everyone was laughing and rubbing their eyes.

"Merlin, that's bright," Emma whined.

Remus patted her shoulder in sympathy and then walked off, leaving her blindsided. James sat down heavily on the grass and complained he'd never drive again, and he certainly wouldn't be helping get the things from the car. Lily sat down with him in solidarity. They both laughed roaringly at everybody else's indignation and refused to move until everyone had put their things away. You stayed outside, trying to catch photographs of the sky while it still looked so lovely. When James and Lily weren't looking you took a quick photo of their dark outlines in the grass, both their hair splayed around them, heads inclined toward each other, hands twined.

You finally walked over to the car to gather your things, gravel crunching under your canvas shoes. They’d already been taken in. You frowned and let yourself into the cottage. All the lights were on and Remus was talking very crossly from the landing upstairs.

“This is a holiday,” he was saying pointedly, “I will not be sharing a room with you, Pads. I won’t sleep.”

“I know I’m handsome but you don’t have to stay up and watch me,” Sirius sniffed. You stopped halfway up the stairs to listen to them argue.

“You snore! You know you do!”

Sirius winced. “A good friend would pretend not to notice.”

“A good friend would release me. Please, Pads.”

“I don’t know what you want me to do!”

“Sleep on the sofa?”

“You’re being an absolute wan-“

“Room with me,” you said easily, ascending the last few steps.

Remus frowned. “I wouldn’t force him on you, Y/N.”

“I snore too,” you said, shrugging. “Won’t notice.”

Having a room to yourself had been the one game of rock paper scissors you’d managed to win between the girls with no partners (as far as you could tell).

Sirius was looking at you strangely. You backtracked. “I mean, if that’s alright. I can get changed in the bathroom and I’m an excellent roommate, and-“

“It's alright. It’s brilliant, actually. Thanks, sweetheart.”

You smiled brightly. “That’s okay. Wouldn’t want poor Remus to suffer you.”

Sirius frowned. “What’s with everyone’s vendetta against me? Am I such a terrible roommate?”

“Yes,” James called from the bottom of the stairs. “God awful.”

“Right,” Sirius said solemnly, pulling his wand from his back pocket. James cringed backwards.

“Let’s not make any hasty decisions.”

“Trust me, I’ve been thinking about this one.”

You pointed Sirius’ wand up at the rafters and giggled madly when they turned a fluorescent yellow. "What happened to our no magic holiday?"

James squawked. “That would’ve gone garishly with my lovely skin,” he said, preening like a bird. Lily rolled her eyes and patted one of his lovely brown shoulders in mock comfort. “There there, babe.”

Sirius was half pouting at you. “He deserved that one.”

“He didn’t. You’re all cranky from driving. You’ll be besties again at breakfast.”

“Make that brunch,” James called.

Marlene called down something in response that you missed as Sirius shut the door behind you. Your room was big enough to fit two single beds with room to waltz between them, soft white bedding atop raglan furnishings set in a neutral tan room with an en suite bathroom, it was nicer than your room at home. You set your wand and camera down on the nightstand and sank into the marsh softness of the mattress, sighing.

Sirius did the same in his respective bed.

“You okay?” you asked him, peering over your shoulder at his languid form. He stretched his hands over his head, shoulder muscles moving underneath his graphic t-shirt. You bit your lip and watched him indulgently.

“Tired. Are you still feeling poorly?”

You shook your head. Though he didn’t turn to look you assumed he’d sensed it, as words didn’t pass between you again for a while.

“You really don’t mind rooming with me?”

You fiddled with your bracelet. It was a simple chain, gold-plated with a small piece of green jade at the centre. Sirius had gifted it to you for your birthday and you hadn’t taken it off since.

“I don’t mind.”

“It’ll be fun,” he decided.

“Like a sleepover,” you agreed.

“Exactly.”

Where had this awkward space come from? You suspected you were imagining it, so afraid of revealing your fondness for him that you were now hesitating to talk to him. You didn’t trust yourself sometimes to idle in his company. How maddening that a confession rooted itself at the front of your mouth, always waiting for you to get too close, to feel too loved.

I love you, I love you, I love you.

He turned toward you so sharply you spooked yourself, scared you’d said it out loud.

“Picture?”

“What?”

“Let’s take a picture. Me and you.”

Your smile crept up slowly at the corners. You shuffled across the bed to make space for him and he filled it, strands of his hair tickling your face as he settled. He grabbed your camera from the bedside table and struggled through its workings until it was green and ready to go, moaning about how you could possibly get along with such muggle-like contraptions. You knew he was grumbling for the sake of it and that in reality he liked your magic camera just as much as you did. It was brilliant, really, you could take loads of photos before it got full and with a simple spell you could look through them projected onto the wall like a small television.

Sirius turned the camera on your faces. You rested your cheek against his arm and smiled shyly, happy to see his handsome grin. You thanked god that you could veto whichever pictures you wanted because as long as Sirius was pressed up at your side smelling like sweetness and himself so sharply it made your heart ache, smiling like he wanted to be nowhere else, you’d look like a lovesick fool in every photograph.

The flash blinded you.

“Is there a setting that doesn’t jeopardise our eyesight?” Sirius inquired.

You buried your face in his arm and giggled.

“Stop hiding. We need a good one to look back on,” he said seriously.

“We take photos all the time,” you argued.

“Indulge me.”

The way he said it - you smiled with teeth and didn’t complain.

-

When you woke up Sirius was still asleep. You moved to lie on your side so you could watch him breathing, tracing the rising and falling line of his chest, the hair he'd left in your bobble the night before, his soft sleep shirt peeking out where the duvet had slipped in the night time.

You could hear the clinking of dishes and easy conversation echoing up the stairs, followed swiftly by the smell of frying bacon and eggs, the sweeter scent of pancakes hot on its tail.

Sirius made a sound in his sleep. You reached your hand out over the gap despite being yards too far to touch him, lining your hand up with his head and pretended you were smoothing the soft strands of ebony hair from his face, tucking it behind his ears. You'd kiss his forehead afterwards, breathe in the smell of his hair or tuck your face in the nook of his shoulder, slot yourself by his side like you belonged.

There was a sound of smashing glass and a shock of laughter that made you both flinch, rousing Sirius awake. You let your hand fall to hang over the side of the bed, fingers an inch from the hardwood floor.

He blinked the sleep from his eyes and stretched, turning flat on his back. You copied him, pulling the blankets up over your nose.

"Y/N," he said softly, words warped by a yawn, "you awake?"

"Yes," you whispered, aiming for casualness and missing by a mile.

You turned your head and he was looking at you with a happy, tired smile. You smiled back and then realised he couldn't see it.

"Do you want to shower?" he asked you.

"I showered after you fell asleep."

He sat up and hunched over, hair falling in his face, necklace slipping out from under his shirt to dangle in the space between his chest and his legs. It was a chain with a thumbnail sized circle of silver hanging from it. You suspected it was engraved but had never had reason to get a good look, and were too shy to ask.

He scratched his face, his two days stubble. His hands looked funny without a ring or two, you'd never seen them early enough in the morning to catch him without them.

You pushed the duvet down and stared at the ceiling as he got to his feet and scrounged through his bags for clean clothes and his towel. You'd already shoved your toiletries in the bathroom last night.

"You want to go eat?"

You shook your head. "I'll wait for you."

"I'll be fast."

"Take as long as you want."

You should not have said that, you realised, twenty minutes later with a rumbling stomach and Sirius nowhere to be seen. You'd whipped up to get changed in case he'd been as quick as he promised, worried he'd walk in on you starkers. Lily had pronounced the first proper day had to be a beach day, so you'd put on a bikini top and simple white t-shirt with short sleeves and a pair of shorts over your bikini bottoms.

You picked at the seams of your crisp denim shorts and wondered if you should be wearing a skirt, no doubt like Lily and Alice would be. Marlene was likely naked or close to it, Mary would wear a sundress, Dorcas did as she liked and Emma might show up in a hazmat suit.

You pouted and leapt to your feet, rushing for your bag. You'd packed a beach cover up and so you might as well wear it rather than feel insecure in your shorts. You unbuttoned them and pulled them off, kicked them under your bed for now.

The bathroom door opened before you'd located the cover up. You looked up like a deer-in-headlights and Sirius was looking at you too, but he didn't look nearly so bashful. Obviously - there was no need. You were going to the beach and he was bound to see you in your bikini eventually, and still you felt naked as the day you were born.

You smiled fleetingly and crouched down to ruffle through your bags for the wrap skirt. It was plain and black, simple enough that you didn't feel as though it would garner much attention. You pulled it on and then found your sandals and put them on too.

Sirius hummed appraisingly. "You look nice."

"Thanks," you said warmly, cheeks heating, "you look nice too."

And he did, lean thighs showcased by a pair of dark swim shorts and a white cotton vest that hugged his chest keenly. You almost matched.

He'd tucked his necklace back under the fabric. Your bobble was loose around his wrist, hair curling and wet dripping on his maddening shoulders. He'd trimmed up his face but still had a shadow like he usually did. You wanted to run your hands over his face and feel the dark stubble under your fingers so instead you cleared your throat and whispered past him to the bathroom to freshen up.

You came out smelling much nicer and feeling cleaner, face all softened up by cleanser and moisturiser.

"You have sunscreen?" you asked him.

"Nah. Greek doesn't burn."

"Greek does get skin cancer," you said pointedly, pulling your shoulder purse open to check you had what you needed.

Sirius pushed the door open and held it for you, beaming down at you. "If I let you put it on me will you stop scowling?"

You relaxed your face. "I'm not scowling."

He'd tilted his head back and laughed at you all the way down the stairs.

James was at the stove, brown skin speckled by white powder. You laughed at the sheer amount of flour he'd managed to wipe up his own face.

He was on the defensive quickly. "Laugh it up! No pancakes for either of you," he said, pointing his spatula at you both. Sirius scoffed in indignation.

"Am I to be punished for everything she does?"

James nodded pensively. "Indeed."

Lily was sitting on the countertop near the sink. You sidled up to her side and opened a glass fronted cupboard to retrieve a glass to fill with water. She had a piece of toast in one hand and pushed your hair flat with the other.

"I love your skirt," she said.

Her's wasn't so different to your own, you thought, and then realised that was the joke. Her long legs were outfitted in a black wrap skirt that didn't so much hide her blue bikini as it accentuated it. She hadn't bothered with a shirt, which you applauded.

"Thanks, babe," she said.

"Such a pair of tits shouldn't ever be hidden. Ti's the true tragedy they must be encased at all," James agreed.

"What is this character you're doing?" Sirius spluttered. "You ridiculous man!"

"I doth not know what you mean."

You smiled to yourself and sat down next to Mary, who was looking pretty as a picture in her lilac sundress. She'd styled her twists into a half bun that showcased her pretty face, her dark skin glowing in the morning light. You felt a shoot of jealousy and then grimaced at yourself. There wasn't any need to be jealous - your friends were gorgeous and so were you.

Still, you found yourself ogling Mary's clear skin reverently.

"You're glowing," you complimented her, pulling a bowl of fresh fruit towards you, no doubt Mary's doing.

"Thank you! I got this new serum with almond oil that makes me really soft and dewy, and it smells really good too."

"Yeah?"

"Mm, from Boots. Oh, you want coffee?"

"No, thanks," you said at the same time as Sirius said, "You're a godsend, Mary."

Mary smiled brightly, lifting the pot of coffee towards his outstretched mug. "I know."

He sipped at his coffee with his hand on the back of your chair. You tried your best to ignore this and found yourself on ends anyways, wondering what the back of your head looked like.

He stole fruit from your plate and wouldn't back down, even when you started fighting back with your fork. You'd almost speared him when Marlene walked in with Dorcas looking dazed behind her, grinning. "We're ready."

"I'll grab Remus and then we'll go," James said, untying his apron. There was a naked square where it had been, and he looked down at it frowning. "After I change my shirt."

"Thanks for the pancakes," Emma called after him.

"You're welcome. At least somebody appreciates my efforts," James said from the bottom of the stairs.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Get a load of him. Makes breakfast and now he's Saint Lucy."

You smiled up at him. "He can be whatever he wants if he's making pancakes every morning. Though Saint James has a terrible ring to it."

Sirius wiped the corner of your mouth with the tip of his index finger. "Wasn't he beheaded?"

You shrugged, biting back a laugh. You didn't know why you were smiling so wide but Sirius was, and his beatific grin was contagious.

"I hope you aren't planning to execute my boyfriend," Lily said, jumping down from the countertop. Her red, smooth hair moved in a sheet behind her.

"Don't think of it as an execution, Lils."

"An exoneration," you suggested.

"A freeing."

James pushed into the kitchen with a knackered looking Remus at his side. "I've saved you so many pancakes, Moony, you wouldn't believe it. You'll be fed for days."

"Thank you, James," Remus said, rubbing a hand through his depressed hair.

"Eat up, darling boy," Sirius said loudly, "you look as though you're on the edge of death."

"I might have slept too well," he admitted sheepishly.

Sirius looked at him then and all his care melted into outrage. "Your hubris befalls you."

"Did we all decide to speak like this today or did I miss the memo?" you asked, more to yourself than anyone else.

"T'was not a decision! T'was a calling from the heavens," James piped in, looking much cleaner in his new vest and open button-up.

"T'was a twottish calling," Marlene said, laughing. This sent peels of laughter through the room and after a good chuckle, eventually everyone was smiling and ready to walk down to the beach.

Why you'd all waited to go together was a mystery, it was hardly a five minute walk down the path from the cottage cliffside before you were breaking out onto a gorgeous white stretch of sand kissing clear blue waves.

Sirius and James had carried the picnic basket between them. Lily had the cooler. You'd deigned to carry the blankets and towels and refused anyone's help, almost tripping over a piece of driftwood. You let the linens fall into the soft sand and felt the grains of it sink into your open sandals, wiggling your toes.

Your camera bounced at your chest as you traipsed over to the cooler, searching for something cold to hold against your head. It had been noon by the time everyone was ready to head out and so the sun was already making itself known, beating down on your shoulders.

"It's gorgeous," Lily said brightly.

"We'll have a bonfire tonight," James said.

Marlene laid a towel out and put her stereo, her prized possession, down on it carefully. She clicked a button and set the volume low, and the beach was suddenly alive with the hum of The Rolling Stones.

You and Lily spread the biggest blanket out away from where James had begun forming a rock circle for the barbecue and sat down on it with matching peaceable expressions, soon joined by Emmeline and Remus. Mary, Dorcus and Marlene set their towels up at the edge of the blanket and were quick to begin sunbathing.

Marlene was likely going to burn herself to a crisp trying to tan. Lily pulled the brim of her sunhat down and began slathering sunscreen over her pale legs, her stomach and chest.

"James!" she called, "come do my back, please?"

He perked up like an excited puppy. "Oh, Lilykins, you charmer."

"If I'd asked anyone else you would've sulked all day."

"Yes I would've. Now stay still, I need to get your beauty mark."

"Mole."

"Mole, whatever. Most marks on you are pretty, I get confused."

You looked down and made yourself busy covering your skin similarly in sunscreen, bringing your knees up to massage the cream into your legs and feet. You'd just managed to get your arms when a shadow was towering over you.

"What, Sirius?" you asked.

He smiled impishly. "You gonna get my back too?"

The comment made you giggle nervously. "In the event the sun could even reach your back then sure, I'd get you."

He crouched down. "You haven't rubbed it in properly. Let me," and he was touching your face, mouth so close you felt his exhales on your eyelashes. He spread the sunscreen with his thumb in a broad swipe across your cheek. "You don't think you're going overboard?"

"There's nothing overboard about protection."

"No glove, no love," he agreed under his breath.

You batted his hands away. "Grow up. Go help James make his firepit."

"Yes ma'am."

-

Later, you were wading through the shallows, full of barbecued foods and sparkling cider and trying not to get pushed over. The others had insisted on playing chicken and you were watching from a distance. Lily and James were the winning team, closely followed by Lily and Sirius when James got sand in his eyes.

Emmeline from atop Remus' shoulders pouted and called for justice. "Lily is obviously too good. We're never gonna win."

"Fuck you, Em! I'm at least half the team,” Sirius said, offended.

Remus tightened his hands on Emma's calves, who was wobbling as she shook her head. "The common denominator is Lily."

Lily was calling and laughing. "Quite right!"

"Sweetheart, I know you don't like chicken, but it's for a better cause, Sirius said, turning his determined gaze on you.

"Wha-" He bent down, ushering Lily off his shoulders, and you understood what he meant. "Sirius, no."

"Come on! I'll do your dishes all week."

He usually did them anyway.

"It'll make me sick."

"It won't!"

You began protesting again and he trudged towards you, big hands on your arms. He looked particularly handsome, damp and sun-kissed, eyes big with happiness and smiling like you were something good. "Get on my shoulders, Y/N."

"Fine. Just one,” you gave in, pulling your shirt off. You tossed it in the direction of your towel and set your begrudging eyes on his legs, sulking.

"Good sport!" James cheered, flat on his back stoking the small fire.

Sirius led you out into the deeper water and knelt down so you could climb over his shoulders. Once seated he got to his feet, eliciting a terrified moan from you. You grasped onto his neck tightly with your face smashed into the back of his head.

His grip was unfailing on your thighs. "Relax… I won't let you fall."

You loosened your headlock incrementally.

"Good girl. How we feeling?"

You felt a shot of pleasure at his words, and then with horror recognised that your crotch was literally at his neck.

"Y/N?"

"Great. Good. Let's do this shit," you declared, hands precarious at his neck.

He laughed and turned you to face the others. "That's my girl."

-

Having defeated everyone who tried to beat you at chicken, you and Sirius were very obviously feeling closer to each other, and it was infuriating everybody.

"We get it! You're good at chicken! Shut the fuck up!" Remus complained, book flat on his chest to glare at Sirius, who had been lamenting your victory with his shoulder pressed to your shoulder.

"So bitter," Sirius said suavely, running his hand up Remus' sand crusted calf, "somebody sounds a little jealous, Remy-poo."

You crinkled your nose and shook the crisp packet in your hand, looking for a nice one. James leaned over your shoulder to grab a handful and you let him, smiling at your friend. He had Lily's head in his lap and looked as blissful as a man could look.

"I hope you aren't talking to me, Remus," you said, feigning hurt. Usually he could be tricked into being his softie self but he was really quite irritated by Sirius' gloating.

"Get fucked, Y/N."

You laid your head on Sirius' shoulder, your hand on his thigh. He dug through the crisps and offered you a flavorful looking one before stealing some for himself. You knew you were pushing it - this was bordering the platonic boundary - but, high on victory and your friendship, you couldn't help yourself from cuddling up to him.

He didn't seem to mind anyhow, making conversation overtop your head as easy as breathing. You stretched your arm out blindly searching for your camera until you found it, clipping the lense cover off. You clicked the camera on, zooming in on your leg against Sirius'.

"Nice legs."

"Testing," you told him, though you hadn't been.

You twisted around to take a photograph of Lily and James, who didn't protest, Remus with his head on Mary's thigh, who did. You got a wide shot of Frank, Alice, Dorcas, Marlene and Emma playing cards before zooming into Marlene, who was leaning back on one arm, a cigarette dangling between her teeth. She took a lazy drag and laid her hand of cards out flat. "Read 'em n weep, ladies."

Dorcas groaned. "Right, I'm done. Anyone else wanna watch a film?"

"My brains fried," Alice said, nodding.

"I want my pyjamas. And a shower. Not in that order," Lily said.

Soon everyone was getting to their feet and groaning. "I have sand in places sand shouldn't be," Emma said morosely, helping you gather the sheets.

"The boys'll stay for a kick about?" James said, looking between his mates.

"No cheating this time, Prongs," Remus started.

James held up his hands. "Scout's honour."

"You didn't get in scout's, mate. Brownie's honour, at best," Frank said.

A headlock ensued. Sirius jogged over to you with his rings in hand, "Have these for me?"

"Yeah, no problem."

"Sweet," he said, kissing you on the cheek. "Shan't be long. Quick, get back before the gnats come out!"

You looked at his rings in your hand, warm still, and felt heat rise to the tops of your ears. Lily threw an arm around your shoulder and you were off up the lane. Marl had already thrown the door open, letting in the summer breeze to break through the humid heat kept in the house while you were gone. Lily rushed upstairs to catch one of the showers, citing a deep rooted annoyance at the sand in her bikini top.

You went into the kitchen and put your purse and Sirius' rings down on the countertop and started putting things away, binning everyone's leftovers and setting the plates in the sink. You'd spelled away the crumbs and food and was about to get to the dishes, hot water running and sleeves pushed up when you realised you weren't wearing your bracelet.

Your heart skipped.

It took a moment to sink in. You looked at your blank wrist in bizarre confusion, turning your hand like it might be hiding. No such luck. You scoured your eyes over the kitchen and spotted no signs of it, hand moving up to push against your forehead.

You walked out the way you came and traced the hall, the porch. You ran up the stairs two at a time and burst into your room, nosing through your bags, then did the same in the bathroom. Your chest felt tight as you stood there, walls white and blinding.

You stumbled back into the bedroom and Sirius was in the doorway.

"What's wrong?" he asked instantly.

Your eyes darted to him and then back to your bedroom floor. "My bracelet. I can't find it."

"When'd you have it last?"

"This morning. Definitely before we went to the beach."

You paled.

"Doll, don't worry-" he started, worried by your expression. You moved past him before he could finish and fled down the stairs for your purse in the kitchen. You'd looked through it once, but it didn't make sense - maybe you'd taken it off to play chicken? Unlikely. You never took it off, not ever.

"D-" Sirius was again cut off by you, eyes widening as you tipped your purse out on the kitchen floor. You picked through the contents, despairing.

"It's not here," you murmured.

Sirius was by your side. "Have you summoned it?"

You shook your head, laughing bitterly, "I put anti-spellwork on it after James turned it into a snake."

Sirius laughed and then smarted, clearing his throat.

"Right. Sorry."

Your eyes filled with tears. You looked at the bright kitchen light and willed them away.

"Hey," he said softly, moving into your eyesight, "don't cry, bub. I'll get you a new one."

You blinked, moving your head left to right like the movement might stop the overwhelming emotion. "Sirius, I want that one."

He bit his lip, pulling his hair. "Alright. Get your shoes back on and we'll go look down on the beach, yeah?"

Sirius pulled his jacket on and pulled his wand out with a Lumos at the tip, eyes steadfast to the ground as you walked. "What's it look like?"

"Sirius-" you began, feeling a little hurt.

His smile came up on one side. "Kidding, kidding. Can't forget the damn thing if I tried. You've only worn it since we were seventeen."

You rolled your eyes, momentarily forgetting the task at hand. "You know any metal-detecting spells?"

"You'll be lucky, it's made of plastic."

You chuckled weakly.

He grabbed your shoulder, digging his thumb into your skin. "Hey, don't worry about it. We'll find it. And if we don't, I really will get you a new one."

"I - it's not like that. It's special. You gave it to me, you know? It's like," you cut yourself off.

"What?" he asked, grinning smugly.

You kicked sand under your shoe. You were almost at the beach now, the tide having moved far out. You only hoped your bracelet wasn't somewhere in the waves, never to be seen again.

"Y/N?"

"It's like my piece of you."

You peeked out the corner of your eye at his expression which had gone slack at your confession.

"Right. Right," he picked up his pace incrementally, "let's get digging. We'll shovel the whole beach if we have to."

And you did, looking through the hills of sand until the sky was darkening and the sun was a yellow beam across the ocean, a multicolour spectral that splashed up your skin and drenched you in pinks and orange.

Sirius was similarly sky stained and on his knees, digging around where you'd been sitting again.

"It's alright. Let's just go back."

Sirius shook his head. "I'm gonna find this bracelet, babe."

You hugged yourself.

"Seriously, Black, let's go home. It's pointless."

Sirius ignored you, crawling over to the firepit. "Oh," he said. And then, "Found it."

He held it up between pinched fingers. "Not so pointless, as it turns out."

You couldn't believe your luck - his luck - couldn't believe it was there to find. Sirius staggered to his feet, legs completely covered in sand. You almost threw yourself at him, pushing him back with the force of your hug, wrapping your arms around his waist and then pulling back to accept the bracelet. He wrapped his own arms around your neck, holding you.

You basically danced in his hold. You stole your arms back to put the bracelet back on.

"I have great taste," he said quietly, arms still at your neck.

You laughed, really laughed, felt your chest heave with the force of it, and then you lost any and all sense of reason, any self preservation, looking at Sirius' handsome face. He was looking down at you all homespun and glowing with the sunset at his back and you couldn’t have stopped yourself from kissing him if you tried.

It caught you both by surprise. He made a small sound in the back of his throat and stilled. You pulled away quickly, still laughing (albeit scared to death) and he brought one hand up to the back of your neck to bring you back in.

His kiss was warm. He tasted of fruit juice and…

"Have you been smoking?" you asked, mouth poised over his.

He stopped short, moving the hand that was cupping your neck to your cheek. His eyes were brilliant, pupils dilated.

"No?"

"I think you have. You know those things are going to kill y-"

He kissed you again. His lips were firm, pushing down with enough force to make you retreat a step. He followed, kissing and kissing. You broke it off to finish scolding him, heartbeat in your ears.

"You'll get cancer. Is that what you want?"

He shook his head in disbelief, hand smoothing the side of your face twice quick.

"Why are you so obsessed with my having cancer?"

"Because you purposefully take stupid risks and don't think about the consequences!"

"Fucking hell," he said, chuckling, eyebrows high.

His laugh was contagious - you were so tiffed with him and so happy about the bracelet and so hot where his arms were wrapped around you, burning at his bare hand on your face. You pecked the corner of his mouth and then the other. "Idiot," you breathed.

He caught you while your mouth was still open.

You realised suddenly that you were kissing your best friend, your favourite person in the world, who you'd been half in love with since you met and more and more every day.

He was kissing you back. He was leading.

His tongue was in your mouth.

You pulled away to question him, planning on asking him what he was even doing, why was he kissing you back? He should've pushed you away, and why was his hand at your lower back? Why was he touching the naked skin there like you were something precious?

He broke the kiss and leaned his forehead on yours.

"Is it bad that I kind of like you calling me names?"

"It's terrible," you said, pushing up, mouth a millimetre from yours. When he leaned down so that your lips were touching, you hesitated coyly. "Anything else you like I should know about?"

He pushed his fingertips into your waist and smiled when you squirmed.

"Quite like your bikini," he murmured, kissing you chastely, "worse," he moved down to kiss your jawline, "I like what's underneath it."

You laughed in surprise. "That's the best you could come up with?"

"Careful," he said, punctuating the warning with a nip.

His fingers found the bow tying your bikini top shut. He tugged at one of the ties gently. Maybe he was waiting for your permission, or protest, or something, but you could only stand with your chest heaving with excitement and trepidation both. Slowly, he drew the tie open. The seconds stretched, you could barely look at him where he was unblinking, unflinching. It sprung undone, and his hands moved to the one at your neck. He was even slower the second time around, gaze heavy-lidded. Your faces were close enough that you were breathing in the others exhale, stealing air from his parted lips.

The fabric was slipping away, and suddenly Sirius was pressing you flat to his chest, hugging you tight. You frowned in confusion as he manhandled you to be where he'd been standing seconds ago, bare chest against his shirt. Frank and Alice were at the edge of the sand, holding hands. Alice gave you a knowing look.

"Wh- hi, guys!" you shouted, maybe too loudly.

"Sorry, we were coming for a walk! Didn't realise you were already down here!" Frank called, laden with innuendo.

Sirius had turned his head to laugh but was covering your naked chest by standing in your path. "That's alright, Y/N here was just cold. In fact…" he slipped his jacket off, stuffing your discarded bikini top deep into the pocket. He wrapped it around your shoulders and zipped it up, hands uncharacteristically shaky.

He stepped away from you casually. "We came to find her bracelet."

"D'you find it?" Alice asked curiously.

You pushed the sleeve of your borrowed jacket down and held your wrist up, "Sirius found it."

"Brill," Frank said.

“Yeah, we were just leaving,” you said. “Ssssssso, we’ll get out of your hair.”

You laughed and nodded, agreeing with him as Sirius steered you towards the couple and then past them. "See you in a bit, lovebirds," Sirius shouted over his shoulder.

The walk up to the house was clearly nervous.

"Thanks," you told him, embarrassed, "not sure how many people I can deal with seeing my tits before it's a problem."

"Don't mention it," he said. He didn't sound quite like himself. You bumped his shoulder with yours.

"Is… is everything okay?"

He came into himself a bit then, as if he were shaking off a layer of dust. "Can't believe Longbottom cockblocked me," he said, and winced. "Not that-"

"Who said he did?" you asked lowly.

He looked sideways at you and then down at his shoes. He smiled.

-

Sirius held his index finger against his lips, opening the front door to the Potter beach cottage as quietly as he could. You nodded, a picture in his jacket. Each time he remembered you were wearing nothing underneath he had to take a moment for himself and breathe a ragged inhale. He flicked his eyes to the evening sky before pushing open the door.

The floorboards were thankfully silent. The stairs didn't groan. He was halfway up with you flush to his back when James said, "Sirius?" from his room.

Sirius opened his mouth, unsure whether to answer. You shook your head despairingly.

He shut his mouth. You both stood silent on the stairs, staring at each other with his heart in his throat. James didn't call again, and so you finished creeping up the staircase and then across the landing. He ushered you into the room first and then followed behind, shutting the door. He stood there for a moment, listening.

When he turned back you were cleaning up the contents of your purse from the floor hurriedly. He peered down at you, the big light stretching his shadow and leaving you in darkness. You zipped your purse shut. Looking up at him from this angle, he could see a triangle of your chest. He offered his hand and you took it. Pulled to your feet you wobbled, wavered, looking at him like you wanted to touch him and weren't sure you were allowed.

He rested his hands on your shoulders in what he hoped was a placating gesture. Your smile was sweet and soft as he traversed down your sternum to fiddle with the zipper on his jacket, pulling it down an inch and then up half, down another inch.

"Sirius…" you whispered, reproach in your gaze.

He tilted his chin up proudly. "Sweetheart."

"Are you gonna mess with me all night?" you said, words tinged with anxiety. He laughed at your neediness.

"Maybe I will… I've been known to play with my food."

"Gonna eat me?"

"Gonna try," he affirmed, pulling the zip down steady.

You went to take the jacket off and he stopped you.

"Keep it on, won't you?" It didn't sound much like a question.

He didn't think about it - didn't second guess himself. He spread his palm flat over your breast and took your beaded nipple into his mouth, mouthing your breast in a heavy kiss. Your hand went to his hair so gently he almost felt sorry for being rough. Almost.

He moved to your other breast and felt his chest burn when you giggled breathlessly. He learned the curve of your waist under his calloused hand, kneading your softness.

He took your nipple between his teeth very gently and tugged. Although you made no sound, your hold in his hair tightened which told him everything he needed to know, abandoning your hip to pay special attention to your tits. He smiled at the goosebumps spreading over your body.

You made a sound like a hiccup. His dick jumped where it tented his shorts.

Determined to catch any similar sounds he returned to your perfect mouth, guiding your face to his. He pressed his other hand against his cock and prayed you didn't look down just yet.

You were eager and attentive, trying to get as close to him as you could, hands roving his chest. He walked you backwards into his bed, didn't think about the sand covering you both until it was ruining his sheets. He broke the kiss to retrieve his wand and you chased him. He allowed you a quick peck and then pulled his wand from his pocket, expunging the sand, locking the door and muffling the room from between your legs. Then he set aside the damned thing and pressed his knee between your thighs, pushing your head down into his pillow.

And how many times had he envisioned this?

You, warm and ethereal, laid out in his bed.

Himself, breathing fast and desperate and willing to do anything you wanted.

You pushed your cheek into his pillow shyly and grinned, squinting from how wide you were smiling. He smiled back, not as wide or openly, but hopefully enough.

"You sure you wanna do this?" he asked you quietly, running his hand over your hair.

"Mmm… you'll have to be more specific," you whispered, words so quiet he had to lean down to hear them.

He kissed your cheek, lingered there.

"Gonna make me say it?" he said. He was going for sexy, obviously, but with you affection tinged every word, had them rolling off of his tongue pleased and covered in sweetness like dark honey.

"I might do," you whispered, tone taking on a similar fond-sticky quality.

He ran his knuckle down from your temple to your jawline and then back up, touch soft. He flitted underneath your eye before flattening his hand to push his fingers underneath your ear, pad of his thumb poised over the very top of your cheekbone. He marvelled at how his hand fit perfectly in the space there like it had been made to rest against your skin.

"You're very quiet," you murmured, pupils wobbling.

"'M thinking," he murmured in turn, punctuating with a broad sweep of his thumb.

"'Bout what?"

His other hand smoothed over the soft flesh of your abdomen sinking down, down to the elastic of your bikini bottoms. They were tied in the same fashion as your top had been, and he delighted in the slow unravelling of the bows at each hip.

"'Bout how I'm gonna make a mess of you," he said, drawing a line down your now-bared centre. Your chest moved up sharply and didn't come back down until he'd found your entrance, already leaking slick. He spread wet up your front, circling your clit until your breath caught.

"There you are," he said, laughing.

"It's not funny," you protested breathlessly.

He pushed down a tad roughly, listening intently for your quiet moans. "It feels funny."

"That's my line."

He rolled his eyes, edging your entrance with the tip of his fingers. "Tell me if this feels funny, sweetheart."

He pushed his index finger past little resistance, already coated in your arousal and working more out of your warmth. You shuddered underneath him, reaching out to grab his hand for some comfort. He took your wrist in his other hand and held it away from your cunt. He checked your face to see how you were taking and felt a smugness like no other at the evident pleasure smudging your features, lips parted delicately and eyes shuttering closed with each thrust inward. He increased the pace and added his second finger, scissoring them inside you to spread you open.

He didn't intend on making you cum yet, really, having wanted to get you properly ready by murmuring sweet nothings and worse, promising things he wasn't sure he could give but was determined to try. "How's that feel, baby?"

"Good," you said shyly.

"Good? Just good?"

"Feels really good," you confirmed, panting at his uptick in speed and renewed pressure on your little bundle of nerves.

"Gonna make you feel so good," he promised, "gonna get you all messy, get you ready for my cock. That okay?"

"Yep," you said tightly.

Your legs were twitching - not a full shake but enough to tell exactly how it was going to go. He took his fingers from your cunt and pulled back further to push your knees up, spreading you wide in front of him. He used his left hand to stimulate your swollen clit and his right to finger fuck you in quick bursts.

It was wonderful to watch, your face swimming in pleasure and your eyes getting all wet and glassy, too timid to meet his gaze.

"Hey, pretty girl," he said, forcing you to look at him, "hey, baby. You look so fucking cute, yeah? Don't you?"

Your eyebrows creased, distracted by his attentions on your sensitive cunt.

"Tell me how you look," he ordered.

"Sirius…"

"Go on, tell me how good you look. I'll reward you, I promise."

You shook your head.

"You won't?" he paused attending your clit and took big, slow strokes, curling his fingers to drag down your walls. Your thighs wobbled.

"Just tell me, baby," he said, voice faux pleading, "tell me all about how you look and I'll make you cum."

You whimpered at the unfairness of it all and he felt a little sorry for you, but not enough to let you out of the deal.

"I look… nice." You bought into his game.

He grinned proudly, pressing his thumb back against your clit as though he might begin again, but didn't.

"C'mon, you can do better than that."

"I look cute."

He nodded appraisingly and started slow circles. "And what else?"

You stuttered over your words, stubborn in your own diffidence but desperate. "I look pretty."

"Pretty," he hummed like he was chewing it over. "You're more than pretty. Gonna look so fucking beautiful all covered in my cum too, baby, I promise you."

He was trying to relax himself as much as he was you. Trying to convince himself that fucking his best friend that he loved, loved unthinkingly as the pumping of blood in his veins, the thrumming of his magic beneath his skin, was the right path. And what did people say? Sometimes the easiest path was the path of least resistance? He couldn't resist you, he knew that much. So, selfishly, he made you cum. Selfishly, he cooed as you moaned. Selfishly, he spread his hand across your trembling tummy. Maybe it was the wrong decision, but Sirius Black fancied himself a selfish man, and so he was going to fuck you silly, should you allow him.

You were recuperating, blinking bashfully, wetting your bitten lips. He leaned over you to push his hands behind your shoulders and lift you into a sitting position, stealing a quick kiss. When he broke it you looked dazed as ever.

"You okay?" he asked.

Your dazed expression cleared with his voice. You nodded, catching your breath with your hand pressed to your cunt. He laughed madly when you touched yourself and jumped, ticklish.

You glared at him.

"Don't be like that," he chastised, taking both of your hands into his, tugging your arms towards him.

You squeezed his fingers likely without thought and climbed up onto your knees, almost as tall as him, "I'm not being like anything," you said, climbing up into his lap, wet pussy sliding against his aching, clothed cock, knees either side of his thighs.

He pulled your arms around his neck to relieve his hands and push down his shorts, freeing his cock. He pumped, feeling your arms tighten as you spotted his length.

"Ah," you said weakly.

"You ready?" he asked, guiding his cock underneath you to tease your hole, gathering wetness to palm over his length.

You didn't answer, instead lowering yourself onto his cock slowly. He kissed your shoulder, tasted the salt of the sea on your skin as you stretched around him, gasps like a sweet song in his ears. Hands on your hips to alleviate the effort it took for you to hold yourself upright, he steered you up and down until you were confident enough to do it yourself. You were slow, and he wouldn't rush you, but fuck if he didn't want to lay you out flat and ruin you, pound into you until you were a wet-eyed mess. Still, you worked his cock, moaning as the stretch turned to indiscriminate pleasure.

He grabbed your neck, not rough enough to hurt but certainly not gently, straightening your head up to meet his gaze, though the sight of you watching his cock spread you open was tantalising, mouth a small o-shape.

"Taking me so well," he praised.

You tried not to show how his words affected you. He was determined to make you, fucking up into you as you came down, relishing in the startled delight clouding your face.

"How's my pretty girl feeling?" He followed your hips with his own, dragging his cock against your walls. "How's my pretty pussy, all full?"

You looked like you might burst into tears and dug your face into the side of his neck, tightening your arms. He took this in stride and kissed the top of your head before grabbing a hold of your hips and fucking fast into your heat, moaning at the feeling of your cunt contracting around his throbbing dick.

"Yeah, you know, don't you? This cunt," he said into your hair, "this cunt's all mine now."

You'd gone so quiet he worried for a split second he'd gone too far, until he felt your lips at his neck, mouthing. He didn't have to see you to know what you'd said soundlessly.

All yours.

His fault for goading you, he realised, groaning so raggedly he felt his chest burn. He fucked up into you until he thought even a muffliato wasn't enough enough cover the sounds you were making, unrestrained and half-sobbing in his lap.

He slowed, let you drop so you were seated with his cock inside you as deep as it could go, which was a different agony, and pulled your face from the crook of his neck.

"Awww," he sympathised, rolling his hips as he wiped the tears from your face. "You're okay."

You nodded, bringing a hand up to wipe your face yourself, hands half covered by the sleeve of his jacket.

"It's not too much, is it?" he asked, bringing his hand to the small of your back, pushing leather into your skin and leaning back to really focus on finding your sweet spot.

You pouted jokingly as if to say what do you think? and then laughed, the movement prompting little flecks of water to jump off of your lashes. It was a sight he thought he would remember for the rest of his life, your pleasure driven tears and your cock drunk laugh, tits half sheltered by his old leather jacket.

You took his leaning back as an opportunity, spreading your fingers against the trail of hair at the bottom of his stomach to encourage his back flat onto the mattress. He laid down curiously, head close enough to the edge of the bed that his hair draped over the end. You anchored yourself to his tummy and didn't ride him so much as you squirmed, the head of his cock rubbing against your sweet spot, goosebumps breaking out across your body. You whined, pleading sounds that had him probing your clit, searching for your second climax. You protested his actions, grabbing his wrist and holding it to his breastbone, leaning down so your cunt was flush with his crotch, pelvis' sliding into one another bruisingly as you grinded, faces inching closer and closer as the sensation weakened your resolve to be in charge. He felt his own resolve weakening in turn.

Escaping your clutches he pulled your chest flush to his with only the head of his dick inside you, to which you grumbled, rocking down. He frowned himself and wrapped one arm under your armpit and over your shoulder blades, the other across your back.

"Don't do me in," he blurted, steadying your movements.

You raised your eyebrows at his panic amusedly. "You gonna cum in me, lover?" you asked teasingly.

He kissed the skin left of your mouth, strokes haltingly slow. "Don't do me in," he restated, softer. "Please."

Your lips parted as he dug into your soft spot, mouthing your cheek before tucking you into his front, hugging you tenderly as he opened you up slowly with his cock. He sped up, testing what he could handle and savouring your keens.

The sound of your whimpering was his last straw, pulling out of you quickly, cock throbbing in his hand. You searched for his mouth and kissed him, once and then twice, chaste and slow and loving kisses that made him want to serve you up starlight on a silver platter.

Then you climbed off of him. He let you go reluctantly, watching as you settled in a W-shape near his pillows, breathing hard and neatening up his jacket so your tits were fully out.

"Do your worst," you told him.

He blinked, pushing up onto his elbows, cock twitching at the skin under his belly button.

"What?"

"'Gonna look beautiful covered in my cum,'" you quoted him, something bright in your eyes.

He crawled over to your quivering body, hand already milking his cock. He kneeled so he was hovering over you and you leaned back into his pillows, sweaty and rugged. He thought you looked the prettiest he'd ever seen you, hands tugging roughly at his cock, lubed by your slick.

"You're beautiful," you whispered gingerly, eyes skipping up his chest to alight on his mouth, his nose, his eyes. You smiled, eyes heavy.

He came down your front, pearlescence dripping down the swollen curve of your breasts and gathering at the slade of your chest, white rivulets that shone in the golden sundown. He'd barely finished when he was kissing you passionately, trying to convey his thoughts with his rough hand on your silken face, his undue mouth, trying to push the depths of his devotion into his soothing fingertips beneath your eye.

He broke the kiss begrudgingly, struck with an idea.

"Where's your camera?" he asked, forehead resting on yours.

"Huh?"

"Let me take a picture of you like this."

You didn't need much convincing, a beatific beam dancing across your kiss red lips. He scrubbed his hand down your cheek before he hastily pulled his shorts up and retrieved the camera from where you pointed, messing with buttons he didn't hope to understand until the camera was blinking and aimed at your smiling face. He zoomed out just enough to catch his jacket and your messy chest in the photograph.

"Pretty," he said, more to himself than you. Your chest heaved with his praise. "Say cheese, lovely girl."

You shot up a peace sign and he chuckled so suddenly he thought he'd never breathe right again.

thank you for reading!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

read part two here

my masterlist

marauders tag list @marimorena06 @glimmering-darling-dolly @siriuslystfu @thatblackravenclaw @thatonecomfyjumper @lupinlust @touchdeprivedwh0re @vi0letblu3s @mooncalvin @gaysnowrose @thatonecomfyjumper @set-myself-on-fire @decafcoffew

[fruitcoops]

WAIT CAN WE HAVE THE FIRST TIME JAX SAW REGULUS CRY PLEASE PLEASE IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY

(bonus points if they comfort him)

 Fic O'Ween Day 4: Dead End, or three times Regulus almost cried in front of his friends and one time he actually did. Thanks to @noots-fic-fests for compiling all these amazing submissions, and to @lumosinlove for a tragically beautiful Regulus <3 Jax, Kris, and Vanessa are OCs of mine!

TW for injury, and canon shitty treatment at the hands of the Snakes

I.

Regulus was really good at not crying. Not crying was the easiest thing in the world. Instead of letting himself get worked up until he spilled over, he could just…not do that. He could swallow it down. Choke it back. The problem was that once he started crying, he couldn’t stop, and since nobody would care either way, it wasn’t worth the effort and embarrassment. He was a grown man. He’d been through worse.

Worse than a B minus, at least.

He was pretty sure.

“Hey, you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine,” he answered mildly. “And yourself?”

Jax’s mouth turned down at the sides. “Uh, can’t complain. What’s…what’s going on?”

Regulus shrugged one shoulder. He couldn’t bring himself to close the tab of his failure. “Preparing for the week.”

“Right.” Jax didn’t sound like they believed him. Unfortunate. He used to be a much better liar.

“I always do that.”

“I know.”

Odd. He hadn’t expected them to know his habits. It had only been three months.

“You seem—” Jax broke off, setting their bag down on the floor with an unusually delicate touch. They leaned against the edge of their desk and gave him a funny look. “Do you want to talk?”

Regulus’ gut twisted on reflex. “About what?”

It came out too harsh—they shrank back slightly, shoulders drooping, dark eyes flicking away. He should apologize. He should.

“What would you like to talk about?” he tried instead.

“Dunno.” That was another thing he was getting used to: the way people started speaking just to speak, to fill the silence. Jax rarely second-guessed their words. Even now, they shifted their weight from one hip to the other only once before beginning again. “I was at the gym this afternoon.”

A strange thing to note. He waited for them to continue; when they didn’t, he mustered an encouraging noise.

“So if you’re ever interested…”

“You want me to come with you?”

“Well, I—if you’re interested—”

“Why would you want that?” What was it about college that made people so vague?

Jax gestured at him with one hand. “I don’t know! You’re in good shape, I guess I figured you were there anyways. And it seems dumb to go at different times when we live together.”

“But then we don’t have to argue for the shower.”

Regulus wasn’t always good at facial expressions, but even he could read the exasperation (though not irritation) in the set of Jax’s eyes and mouth. “I want to spend time with you,” they said bluntly. Kindly. Almost like Sirius, without his awkwardness. They tilted their head to look at him. “You don’t have to, but we haven’t had a lot of time to just hang out. I’m going for a shared hobby here, man.”

Hobby. Regulus didn’t recall the last time he worked out for fun. Never, probably. Running out his feelings on a treadmill made him less likely to curl up under his blankets in a screaming possum ball, but it wasn’t necessarily fun.

In his periphery, his computer screen dimmed. His heart went with it when he wiggled his computer mouse and the reminder of everything bad in the world glared back. “I don’t know if I can,” he said carefully. “I just failed out of English, so I should probably focus on that.”

“Wh—” Jax’s eyebrows shot toward their hairline before knitting in the middle. “How do you know that? It’s not the end of the semester.”

Regulus jerked his chin toward the screen. They followed his gaze. Looked back at him. Back to the computer. Back to Regulus.

“You’re looking at me like that explains everything,” they finally said.

“It’s a. Um.” Bitterness filled his mouth. “B minus.”

“And?”

Are you stupid? Regulus bit his tongue hard enough to make his eyes water. “It’s a B minus,” he repeated. “And so they’re going to kick me out.”

Jax let out a long breath, as if they were holding many things back. Regulus didn’t like it when they did that. He’d feel much better if they just told him they pitied him outright. “That’s not…no, that’s not how that works. Reg, no professor will fail you out of their class because of a B minus.”

The part of his brain that had been running through various explanations when he inevitably slunk back to Sirius’ doorstep came to a sputtering standstill. “Excuse me?”

“Dude, that’s not even a failing grade.”

Something next to his lungs began to shake. “Explain, please.”

“A C is considered average. You’re above average. Do you know that?” Jax’s concern crept back into their face. “It’s important to me that you know that.”

Average.

Above average.

He had been screamed at for above average. Lived in terror of doing his best and being found lacking for above average.

The fury was white-hot and all-consuming, and unexpected enough that he had to blink several times in quick succession to clear the burning from his eyes.

“Reg?”

“Excuse me,” he muttered. He tried to stand and found he couldn’t so much as twitch for fear of combustion.

“Hey.” Jax’s voice gentled. “Hey, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Kindness was the cruelest thing university could have given him. It was too-tight shoes and a necktie done just wrong on game day. Regulus felt his nostrils flare around a few deep breaths. A pulsing rod blazed just behind his eye. “You didn’t. Sorry. Yes, we should work out together sometime. Text me when you’re free.”

He stood on unsteady feet, left the dorm, and began to walk.

II.

“Don’t move, don’t move—”

“Shut the fuck up and do not touch me.”

The pain was overwhelming. Regulus’ temple throbbed from the force of squeezing his eyes shut. He could feel them all there, crowding him, closing in with their worry, holding their breath because he was angry and scared and angry because he was scared and scared because he was angry and in pain. And in pain.

He could work through pain. He had done it so many times.

Breathe. His chest didn’t hurt. His shoulders didn’t hurt. His stomach didn’t hurt. The throbbing below his waist could wait until he had taken a few deep breaths.

“Reg?”

Analyze. His leg was too hot and too cold at the same time. Everything below his left hip echoed his pulse, but his shin had a special kind of searing to it. His palms, too. Someone’s fingertips hovered at his pulse point and he twitched away. They stopped. They left him alone.

Do not cry.

The corners of his eyes were too wet in the gentle breeze.

Step Three: Do Not Cry.

“Reg, are you alright?” Kris’ reedy voice should have grated on him.

“I’m fine.” His voice wavered, but did not break. He unclenched his fists and flexed them, wincing at the sting of scraped skin. He took a sharp breath and wiggled his toes—no immediate pain. His leg muscles constricted when he told them to, relaxed when he breathed out.

Move on.

He went to bend his knee and immediately heard four people stumble over each other to stop him.

“You’re fine,” Jax said near his right ear. “But also, please don’t do that.”

Regulus opened one eye and frowned up at them. “Pick one.”

Jax hesitated a half-second longer than his patience. Regulus muttered a curse under his breath and sat up, grimacing at the carnage. The heels of his hands were trashed from the concrete; they would need full gauze, without a doubt. The gash running down his shin bled freely onto his (favorite) jeans and was beginning to seep out onto the ground. He sighed. “That’s not ideal.”

“Can we help?” Kris asked, all big eyes and bigger heart while he fiddled with the zipper of his first-aid kit. “I’d prefer to get a bandage on that before you move much, but we need to wash it out.”

Regulus tried to keep the judgement off his face. It seemed rude. “That’s not necessary,” he said. “But thanks. Pardon.”

Standing turned out to be a bad idea after all. The first bit of weight made his entire bad leg buckle and he narrowly missed crumpling on the ground for the second time in five minutes. Pain lanced up to his hip; Regulus dug his hands into the sidewalk to anchor himself, and when that only made it all hurt worse, settled for a handful of measured breaths.

The touch to his shoulder blade was featherlight. “Let me help,” Vanessa said softly.

Regulus hesitated. Better up than on the concrete, he supposed. He just—what if she couldn’t hold him?

She waited for him to nod before holding a hand out for him to take. Deadlift calluses and a firm grip reminded him just enough of Leo to not pull away when she braced her other hand behind his elbow and hoisted him upright, catching him when he swayed into her. “Easy,” she soothed. “Take your time.”

Regulus felt himself buffer, eyes fixed on her. Thick, dark hair drifted into her face in tiny wisps where it escaped her ponytail. She frowned down at the jagged rock that had cut into him like it personally wronged her.

“Thanks,” he mumbled. The upset vanished from her round face when she looked up again; there was a light squeeze to his torso. He got his weight under him, and yet she didn’t let go. Vanessa’s hold didn’t falter as they limped their way down the sidewalk, supported on every step.

He caught Jax’s eye as they turned toward the engineering building and found them already smiling.

III.

It’s a dumb movie, anyway.

That’s what Regulus told himself, listening to Clare sniffle while Kris watched the screen in openmouthed horror next to him. Jax’s description had been vague at best—something about a house and balloons and an old man’s emotional support Boy Scout.

But here they were, five minutes in, with no sign of balloons, Boy Scouts, or emotional support to be found. Just utter devastation and the inevitable march of death in spite of overwhelming love.

Goddamn mailbox, he thought. This whole problem could have been avoided if those two didn’t love each other to the ends of the earth. Which, of course, only made him think of Sirius’ ability to love with his entire heart and he really hoped Remus didn’t die first because that would be such a nightmare for everyone involved and oh, god, Sirius was going to die someday and leave him there—

“I forgot about this part,” Jax whispered in the darkness of the dorm. Their voice was only just loud enough for Regulus to hear over the movie.

He exhaled, and was surprised by how shaky it sounded to his own ears. “Fuck you.”

“Yeah,” they said sympathetically. “Fuckin’ Pixar. Need a minute?”

Regulus shook his head.

“ ‘Kay.” They sat quietly for another few seconds. A shoulder pressed gently against his own. “Let me know if you do, though.”

+1:

On an unassuming Thursday in April, it happened. The hammer came down. The other shoe dropped. Regulus’ luck ran out, the final bits drip-drip-dripping out into the ether and leaving him in a dead end of his own making.

In a way, it was inevitable.

“Holy shit,” Kris said, quiet and stunned and slower than Jax had ever heard him. His green eyes were blown wide; what had been a comfortable sprawl across his mattress for over an hour was now tense, the catch of breath before a scream. One airpod sat snug in his ear. His phone was lax in his hand and utterly innocent from Jax’s side of the room, save for Kris’ look of growing horror among his confusion.

“Kris?” they ventured. Kris remained silent. Jax’s pulse kicked. “What happened? Come on, man, that’s ominous as hell.”

“It’s Reg.”

Jax’s heart skipped a beat and fell right into the canyon below. “What?”

“He’s—” Kris’ mouth opened and closed a few times. “I don’t…”

“Is he hurt?” Their phone was here somewhere, buried under their notebooks goddamnit their mother was right about the organizing bins— “Kris, is he hurt? What happened?”

“He’s famous.”

They stuttered to a stop with their hand buried in the mess of their backpack.

“I think—I think he is? Or was. Or something. Hey, did you know he played hockey?”

Jax stared at him, then shook their head. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Come see this.” Kris finally looked up, motioning them over with his head as if he couldn’t let go of the damn phone. “Come here, c’mere.”

“Are you seriously about to make me watch a Tik…”

“Regulus, do you have any comments on the rivalry being set up between you and your brother? Does it get in the way of your personal relationship with Sirius at all, being on the Lions and the Snakes?”

“My brother’s got a dirty game—”

Jax didn’t hear the next few words. They were a little too concerned with the sudden absence of the floor beneath their feet.

“—don’t endorse that sort of hockey.”

“And your personal relationship? How about Thanksgiving?”

“What personal relationship?”

Jax closed their eyes. It wasn’t enough.

“As far as I’m concerned, he might as well stay away with the rest of his pack of cubs—”

“Stop.”

Light music halted and left the room in the soft rattle of their ancient radiator.

“This isn’t—stop,” they repeated, though Kris had long since abandoned his phone on the sheers. His pale hands were pressed against his mouth. Jax felt their skin crawl. “This isn’t right. I’m not watching that.”

“He looks sick.”

“Yeah. Jesus, yeah.” Something was wrong in that video. Regulus’ bright, clever eyes were emptier than a scoured pot. A scrape marred his cheek. The violent green of his uniform—jersey, maybe? Or just a shirt?—washed him into a greyed-out version of himself. His hair was cropped harsh and short above his ears, hardly a curl in sight.

Someone was laughing in the background of the video. Jax didn’t like the way he looked at Regulus. There were too many cameras and microphones shoved into his space; Regulus wouldn’t like that, either.

“He doesn’t talk about his brother that way.”

“No,” Kris agreed in a murmur. “No, he doesn’t.”

Not that Regulus talked about his family often, but on the rare occasion it came up, Sirius was always the first one he mentioned. Jax had met him back in September—tall and broad and handsome, with a barking laugh and a voice that carried. Regulus gravitated to him like a magnet, though Jax wasn’t sure it was a conscious habit.

What personal relationship? He might as well stay away.

Kris was right. He did look sick in that video.

“Can you…” God, this felt wrong, but they had to know. “Can I use your phone real quick?”

Kris’ sideways glance made them swallow convulsively. Nevertheless, he picked up his phone.

Search: Regulus Black

Buzzfeed: NHL DROPOUT APPLIES TO…

ESPN: Regulus Black: Where Is He Now?

NHLWorld: Black Jerseys 70% Off—Everything Must…

Hockey Daily Magazine: Broken Contract and Rumors of Court!

#BlackBash

#RegulusBlack

#RegulusBlackSnakes

#BlackSlytherin

#BlackBrothers

#Playoffs2020

#AllStars2020

“Holy shit…”

NHLNews: Player Abuse in Sly…

#RegulusBlackCollege

#RegulusBlackSiriusBlack

@ hockeypalooza: I’m sorry but Regulus Black was the best player that team had ever…

@ slythlife: Black better not show his face in slyth ever again I stg

“When was that taken?”

Kris’ throat bobbed. He turned his phone off. “Last November.”

Jax pressed their fingers to their temples and let a sour breath out. This was too much. Too much. Their skull was going to implode. “Okay. Okay. Christ. Okay. Reg was famous, he left, he’s here now, it doesn’t matter.”

“We can’t tell him we know.” Kris stared into the middle distance—or, no, at Regulus’ bed. Always made, but a little wonky, like he was still figuring out how to do it right. A loose sock laid on the floor by one of his astrophysics books. “He doesn’t want us to know, or he would have said something. I’ve never heard him mention hockey. He said sports weren’t his thing.”

“He was a professional player.”

“For, what, half a season?” Kris’ lips pursed. “I’m not telling him we know. He left for a reason. Fine. That’s his business. He’ll say something when he’s—”

A key scraped against their door lock and Jax…Jax’s organs discovered the miracle of negative acceleration along the y-axis.

Regulus stepped in and slung his bag onto his desk chair. He opened his mouth to speak, saw them, and stopped. Stopped, like a deer staring down a Ford-F150. Every muscle primed and wound tight, as if someone had pressed ‘pause’ on the rotation of the world. His fingertip hovered in the handle-loop of his backpack.

“Oh,” he said simply. “Oh, no.”

And he left.

“Wait,” Kris called, far too weak and far too late. Jax’s brain refocused all in a rush—they both scrambled for the door, slipping on shoes and snatching wallets off whatever horizontal surface they called home.

“Shit, shit shit, shit,” Jax muttered. They shouldn’t have done this. They shouldn’t have looked. Kris was always right, always reasonable, never knee-jerk, so much better at this. They should have known better than to dig where they shouldn’t.

“I’ll check the library,” Kris said, jamming his phone in his back pocket. “I’ll—mother of fuck, this is not what I wanted. I’m deleting TikTok. And Google, fucking Google?”

Jax’s jaw throbbed with tooth-locking guilt. “I know, I know, I shouldn’t have looked, I’m so sorry.”

“Abuse cases? Abuse cases.” Kris swore again and pushed the heels of his hands into his eyes. “Fine. Alright. I’ve got the library. Text if you find him first. Holy shit.”

“I’m telling Vanessa to keep an eye out.”

“Good, yeah, whatever.”

Jax fought every urge to sprint down the hallway. Regulus was already long gone. Causing a scene wasn’t going to help. He probably wouldn’t come back to the apartment unless they found him first. Maybe ever. Oh, god, Jax would never forgive themselves if Reg left because they were a nosy little shit with no poker face.

For the first time, Jax wished NYU didn’t span a million city blocks. A fenced-in Ivy in the middle of nowhere would make them miserable, but it would be a hell of a lot easier to corner his flighty roommate when his hiding place wasn’t the entirety of New York City.

Well—well.

Regulus’ backpack was still in the dorm. He kept his wallet in the side pocket, zippered up tight. No MetroCard meant no subways. No student ID meant no twenty-story buildings to slip into. Regulus’ Ultra Panic Mode meant…nothing good, but at least he wouldn’t go far. Jax’s stomach twisted more than usual at the thought of him falling apart alone.

They shot off another text to Vanessa (whose string of ????? was the only correct response to their disaster of an initial message) and stepped out onto the sidewalk.

For a day with the potential to ruin a new and treasured portion of Jax’s life, it was quite beautiful out. The air was crisp and only reeked a little from the crusty hot dog stand down the block; the massive column sticking out of a manhole was missing its usual billow of subway steam and left the sky an unmarred blue above them. They were learning to like the spring on this coast. It was cold, sure, but if they wanted it to feel more like home, they would have gone to California. New York was their escape in every sense. They just—

They just really didn’t want to lose Regulus.

They hadn’t been sure what to make of him at first: so quiet, so reserved, every emotion leashed. But then he was kind and smart and funny in his weird way. He hadn’t fumbled a pronoun since the first day. He came home early from winter break, just so Jax and Vanessa wouldn’t be alone for their last holiday week after flights home fell through.

It wasn’t that Regulus didn’t like them. It was just that he was so very afraid of some looming shadow that had remained unnamed until that very afternoon. Jax couldn’t even blame him for it. If hockey made Regulus that ill, it was a small wonder he did everything in his power to leave it behind.

The bell of the narrow bookstore on 14th street chimed when they entered. The corner seat was unchanged, down to the burnt-orange cushion with a torn side seam. The rest of the shop vanished behind a massive chestnut shelf when they sat, folding their legs up. It was nice in here. Dim lights and a quiet heater. The owner had swapped out the winter candles for fresher springtime scents just a few weeks before.

“I never lied.”

“I know.” They stretched one leg out to roll the tension from their ankle. “You okay?”

“Non. How did you find out?”

His accent was thicker. Upset was etched in every angle in the corner of Jax’s vision. Shame wedged icy fingers between their ribs. “A video popped up on Kris’ TikTok feed. We shouldn’t have watched it.”

“I wouldn’t have told you.”

 “I figured.”

“I wasn’t—I was trying—” Regulus’ jaw ticked. His forehead furrowed as he picked at the laces of his shoes. “You have no idea what it was like. The way it got twisted up, I—and I didn’t want it, and I couldn’t leave.”

Don’t fucking cry.

“I couldn’t get out. Not until that game.” They saw him shake his head minutely. “I wouldn’t have. I wouldn’t have tried.”

“What game?”

“The…” Regulus turned to look at them then, eyes narrowed. “What was in the video?”

My brother’s got a dirty game. What personal relationship?

“You were in a room. I don’t know, there was a lot of hockey stuff around. People had stuff all up in your face.” Jax brought a fingernail to their mouth and bit absently at it. “It was an interview, something about your brother.”

“Fuck.”

The quiet ferocity of it made their heart clench in surprise. Regulus tipped his head back against the cool window. The edges of his lips had gone white with tension and Jax had never felt such regret for honesty in their entire life.

“I hate that fucking video.” It came out hoarse. Jax’s belly went Gordian. “I’m sorry.”

“What? No, dude, I’m sorry. We should have scrolled past it. We should’ve—we should have waited for you to tell us.”

“I wouldn’t.”

“Then you wouldn’t,” Jax said gently. “And that’s fine.”

Regulus’ mouth turned down at the corner. “I can be out by Saturday.”

In the throes of disbelief, all they could do was shake their head. “What are you talking about?”

“Didn’t bring a lot of stuff. It shouldn’t take long.”

“Reg, what are you talking about?”

An owl-eyed stare pinned Jax; intense, but not angry. They had been prepared for anger. Not…whatever this was. “Why are you here?” he asked carefully.

“To apologize? Because Kris and I fucked up and you left before we could say anything?”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Yes, I do,” Jax insisted. “And clearly not enough people have apologized to you even once in your life, ‘cause it’s shitty when your secrets come out and it’s scary and so I’m here for you. And I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry. For this, and for all those assholes who made you play hockey when you were meant to be a space nerd.”

Of all the reactions to a sudden outburst Jax had expected, a trembling lower lip wasn’t one of them.

“Oh, god.” Panic pulsed in their chest. “Was that too much?”

“I hate that fucking video,” Regulus whispered, voice breaking. His eyes welled with tears. Jax’s tongue turned to lead in their mouth.

This couldn’t possibly be real. Not this. Not sitting in a hole-in-the-wall bookstore while Regulus took stuttering breaths around tears he didn’t seem to know how to handle. “Hey,” Jax said softly. “Oh, hey, I’m sorry.”

“No, no, no,” Regulus muttered angrily, scrubbing at his cheeks with shaking hands. “Fuck—merde, one second.”

“It’s okay.”

“Non, stop it.”

We’re doing this. We’re doing this. “Reg, it’s fine. Is this—is this alright?”

Regulus froze up at the tentative touch to his shoulder. Jax waited, heart in their throat, before Regulus gave a slight, pained nod and leaned ever so slightly into them. It was incredibly heartbreaking and also deeply weird, the way Jax supposed it would feel to pet a wild tiger in a zoo.

Worst of all, it made sense. The mottled skin of Regulus’ ankles. His careful silence, only broken in the presence of a few friends. He had hardly spoken unless spoken to until January. Jax had seen skates, just once, tucked in the corner of his closet behind his laundry bag.

They had chalked it up to the Canadian thing. One of their stupider moments, looking back.

“Please don’t leave.”

Regulus paused with his sleeve pressed below his nose. “Quoi?”

“It’s…” There was a dent in the hardwood beneath the toe of their sneaker. “I mean, you’re my best friend. So I’d like it if you stayed. If you want.”

The request felt too fragile. The wound, too raw. Would Regulus be angry that they asked?

“Why would you want that?” Regulus asked after several beats of empty air between them. He sounded mystified by the very thought.

“You’re my best friend.” The corners of their eyes stung. They gave Regulus a little pulse of pressure, the shadow of a hug. “I’d miss you if you left.”

“Oh.”

“I won’t make you leave if you don’t want to.”

A tear glimmered in the light as it fell from Regulus’ cheekbone to his jaw, where he brushed it on the sleeve of his shirt. The cuffs were stretched, like he’d been gripping them in iron hands; they matched the frayed hems of his hoodies in a rather sickening way. “I want to stay.”

“Thank god.”

A rueful smile pulled at Regulus’ mouth. “You know, you might be the first person who wanted me around.”

“That’s so…” There were no words. Literally nothing could encompass the fresh-scrape sting of each new layer of tragic backstory peeling away. “Is there any part of your life story that isn’t depressing as hell?”

“Probably not,” Regulus snorted.

He was warm under Jax’s palm. The shivering had stopped. “Well, I’m here if you want to talk about it.”

“Merci.”

“Do you—”

“No.”

They nodded and mimed zipping their lips, and it made Regulus smile just a little, so it was worth it. He hadn’t pulled away from their one-handed hug yet. Jax counted that as a victory. It was sort of like washing a wound in the ocean: it stung like a bitch, but they were better for it in the end. Regulus’ wounds had been opened and reopened for nineteen years by uncaring hands. His cleanse was going to burn more than most. But even if gifts baffled him and kind words made him grimace and hugs were—whatever this was, Jax would be there. This time, he wouldn’t have to do it alone.

[enigmaticemperor]

Ron is the biggest Hinny shipper, and I stand by it.

Prompt #15 of @hinnyfest: "Who says we can't get married now?"

Also on ff.net and AO3

"I would bloody destroy you!" Ron shouted. 

All three of them were heavily drunk. It was Percy's engagement party, and Harry, Ginny, and Ron couldn't bear Percy shouting one more time at them because the flower vases weren't exactly at the centre of the table or something like that. Also, the songs were dreadful.

"Oh, yeah? I would crush you to pieces!" Ginny countered.

Hermione left early with her parents. And now, the three of them were at the Burrow's dinner table. 

"No fucking way!"

Ginny and Ron were arguing. About what, Harry had long forgotten.

"I'll beat you so bloody bad that you won't get out of bed for days!"

Harry downed the rest of the firewhiskey and slammed the bottle down on the table, startling both of them.

"Ask Harry!" Ginny told Ron.

Ron nodded vigorously and asked, "So, who do you reckon, Harry?"

Harry rubbed the back of his neck, not knowing how to tell them he wasn't following their shouting match.

Ginny saw his confused look and explained in a far sweeter tone than she used on Ron, "Ron and I are arguing about who knows you better. Tell him that it's me, Harry." She looked at him expectantly with heavy-lidded eyes.

"Like hell it is!" Ron slammed a fist on the table, looking at Harry. "He's my best friend!"

"And he's my fiancé!"

Harry was sure they knew him almost the same amount, though Ginny might have an edge.

"Ok, how old was he when he first had ice cream?" Ron asked, looking at Ginny with determination.

Ginny's expression matched her brother's. "Seven. You have to be better than that, Ron."

Chocolate, he thought fondly. Charles from school was always friendly to him. On his birthday, Charles’ parents brought ice cream to school, and Charles distributed it to the whole class. He remembered to give him his ice cream away from Dudley.

"What was the first thing Tonks got Harry?" She smirked, knowing that Ron wouldn't know this.

Ron smirked back, and Ginny's smile faltered. She thought he wouldn't know this. "A toy Hippogriff. Harry was three months old."

Sirius told him this. He was surprised that Tonks knew him as a baby.

Ginny's jaw dropped. "How the fuck do you know?"

"Sirius told Harry. Harry told me. What did Harry call it?"

"Giff!" She shouted back at him, frustrated.

She didn't have to think about her next question. "What does Harry think about those horrid orange posters in your bedroom?"

"He thinks they're hideous." Harry turned to Ron to try to deny it, even though he knew it was spot on.

Ron shook his head at him and said, "You're just too good to say so." 

Harry relaxed back in his chair now that it was settled.

"When will Harry be made Deputy Head Auror?" Ron leaned back in his chair too. This was classified.

Ginny grinned proudly at Harry. "The first of September."

"Harry!" Ron turned on him. "That's classified!"

"Not to Ginny, it isn't," he smiled.

"It's your fault," Ron accused her playfully.

"I hate you too, Ron."

Ginny took a sip and asked, "When are we getting married?"

"December 18th."

"Nuh-uh," Ginny wagged a finger. "16th."

Harry looked at Ron apologetically. "We wanted two more days for the honeymoon. We haven't told anyone yet."

Ron grumbled that he was mad that his sister and his best friend didn't tell him, the person who was the most excited about their wedding.

"Who says we can't get married now?" He heard Harry telling Ginny.

"Yes!" He beamed. 

"You just want me to be wrong," she accused.

"No," he frowned. "It's not because of that. I know you two wanted to get married since before you started dating - "

"Exaggeration," Harry and Ginny said at the same time.

He waved them off, and barrelled on, "Besides, I know you're frustrated with all the wedding planning. I'll be your witness." He reached for both of their hands and held them in his.

"That's an idea," Ginny said, after a moment.

Before their drunk selves could actually get up to go to an official, they heard Molly calling for them.

They quickly shot up, and Harry reached for the hangover potions in his pockets, Ginny charmed away the smell and cleaned the table, and Ron disposed of the bottles, and both he and Harry moved around the room to get rid of any other evidence of them drinking. Ginny moved towards one of the cupboards to make a show of searching for the cutlery that her mother had sent them for in the first place.

They did this so swiftly and in tandem that, to an onlooker, they had been practising this for years.

As Molly started scolding them for not being fast enough, Harry and Ginny thought that maybe Ron was onto something.