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badkitty3000 · 2 months ago

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You Can't Go Home Again

Chapters 1 and 2

Link to Chapters 3 and Four

All Five wants to do is rest. But when yet another apocalypse threatens to doom them all, he doesn't have that luxury. This time, the only solution for the Hargreeves to try and save the world is to unite Five with another, alternate version of himself.

Five starts to spiral when he is faced with the alternate life that he could have had, if only he hadn't gone and ruined everything. But maybe, just maybe, there's still time for him to obtain the happy ending he deserves.

An alternate season three rewrite for a request I received.

Warnings: None

More chapters will be posted as I continue writing this multi-chapter fic. Enjoy!

Chapter One: The Other You

So much for being their ringer, Five thought bitterly as he stewed about the day’s earlier events. Lying there in his shitty bottom bunk bed like he was actually 13 years old, and waiting for Klaus to get back with his scotch, he tried to think of what to do next. Everyone was waiting on him, like he knew the answer to everything. It was damned if you do, damned if you don’t with this family, because no matter what Five said someone wasn’t happy with him. He sighed and flopped a pillow over his face, trying to drown out Diego and Luther’s arguing. At this point, he wished that Cobra Girl, or whatever the fuck her name was, would make him hallucinate he was on a tropical island with a fruity drink in one hand and Dolores in his other.

God damn it, he was tired.

Maybe this was for the best, though. Maybe they could just live here and be normal for once. After all, it didn’t seem all that bad. They just needed to avoid Dad’s merry band of Mega Assholes, but that should be easy enough. They could even keep the briefcase. He didn’t really need the reminder of that part of his life, anyway. The more he thought about it, the better it sounded. This was just what they all needed to start over.

Wait, where are all the lobsters? Fuck.

************************************************************************

“I swear there was a great vintage clothing store around here somewhere,” Klaus muttered to himself as he walked down the busy street, a few blocks from the hotel. He stopped and looked around, shading his eyes from the sun. He let out a frustrated groan. “The one time I could actually benefit from Ben being up my ass all the time. That jerk was like freaking Magellan.” He chuckled. “No wonder I’ve always been bad at directions. I usually just followed him.” Klaus caught the side-eye of a woman hurrying past him. “Aaaaand…now I’m talking to myself. Wonderful.”

As he stepped off the curb to try the other side of the street, he stopped dead in his tracks. Coming out of the café across the road, was an absolute dead ringer for Five. Well, an older version of him. But not like his real, 60 year-old version. More like the correct version, if the correct version had been allowed to age normally with the rest of his siblings.

It had to be him. Same dark hair swept to the side. Same lean build and sharp facial features. Same aggravated look on his face.

The one thing that was clearly wrong, besides the fact that he was roughly 30, was that he had two small children in tow, with one of them holding his hand. Then Klaus almost passed out when he saw a very pretty woman follow him out, putting her arm around his waist and kissing his cheek.

And Five just… smiled at her. Like it was the most normal thing in the world.

“What the…” Klaus started to wonder, before almost being run over by a delivery truck that came zooming down the street. “Shit!”

He stepped back onto the curb just in time, as the driver honked his horn and yelled obscenities at him as he drove past. But Klaus barely registered all of that. He couldn’t stop staring at his brother’s doppelganger, trying to figure out what to do about it. Would he even know Klaus? This was probably a completely different version that grew up here, in the Sparrow’s timeline and would have no idea that the Umbrella Academy even existed.

“Five!” Klaus yelled out, not even thinking.

The older version of his brother stopped and turned, looking for who might have called him.

“Fuck, it really is him,” Klaus muttered. “Five! Over here!” He waved his arms in the air, catching Five’s attention.

He watched as Five squinted across the street, then looked at the woman next to him, shrugging. The small girl holding his hand gave a sharp tug to get his attention, and Five let her pull him along down the sidewalk, taking one last confused look at Klaus over his shoulder.

“Fuck…now what?” Klaus said, one hand on his hip. “What would Ben say? He’d tell me I should not follow him and just go back to the hotel and tell Five. So…yeah, I’m going to follow him.”

Klaus stayed on the opposite side of the street, and hung back a little, but he followed Five and his family for a few blocks. As he paused behind a telephone pole, trying to hide for a few seconds to widen the gap between them, he was engulfed in a flash of blue light before being thrown against the side of a building, the front of his shirt clutched in someone’s hands, and a snarling voice speaking to him.

“Who are you and why are you following me?”

Klaus looked into the familiar green eyes of his brother, whose other version he had just recently been reunited with. There was no doubt it was Five now. Even without the spatial jump and the physical assault. When Klaus’s eyes dropped down to the fist that was clenching his shirt, he saw the tattoo that matched his own.

“Holy shit! Five, it’s really you!”

“How the fuck do you know my name? Who are you?” Five demanded again, pushing Klaus further into the brick wall.

“It’s me…Klaus! You know, your brother?”

Five paused, but didn’t loosen his grip at all. “What are you talking about?”

Klaus held his hands up in surrender, while also showing Five the inside of his left wrist. “See? It’s me! Numero Quatro. Remember?”

Five took a small step back, his eyes wide, but he still held tight. “Klaus?”

Klaus laughed. “Yeah! Hey buddy, how the hell are you?”

After a few more seconds of staring blankly at his brother, Five let him go and Klaus smoothed his shirt down. “I don’t understand. How are you here? This isn’t your timeline.”

“I know!” Klaus giggled. “It’s a LONG fucking story, one which my brother…well, you, actually, can explain much better than I can. But after a couple failed time travel attempts, here we are! And Dad was NOT thrilled to see us, let me tell you. Do you know he has a whole ass other family now? And Ben! He’s alive…or a version of him is alive. He seems like a real dick. But then there’s you, and look at you! All grown up and with a family? That’s so great! But how did you get here? How are you not a Sparrow?”

Five pinched his nose between his thumb and forefinger and sighed before smiling at his long-lost brother. “Klaus, it is really good to see you, but please, give me a minute here. I need to think.”

“Right. Sorry.”

“So, how did you time travel here? With what resource?”

“To this particular timeline? A magical briefcase. Before that, it was just you.”

“Ignoring whatever the hell a magical briefcase is, do you mean you used my powers to time travel?”

“Yes, but with varying success.”

“Ok. So, there’s a version of me with you now?”

Klaus nodded. “Yes. And you are ADORABLE.” He saw Five’s frown of confusion. “You’re thirteen. Well, not really. You’re actually 58, since you got stuck in an apocalypse for 45 years and then messed up your own time math on your return to 2019. So, yeah, you’re super cute but, wow, are you ornery.”

Five thought for a moment before quietly mumbling, “So you must be from an alternate Umbrella Academy timeline where I still time traveled at thirteen, but with a different outcome.”

Klaus nodded. “Sure, that sounds about right.” Then he tilted his head in confusion. “Hang on, if you’re here and the same age as me, and you still have the Umbrella tattoo, then how did you get here and how are there two of you?”

Five frowned. “Again, I’m going to speculate, because I can’t be entirely sure. But from what you’re saying, it sounds like there were at least two original timelines where the Umbrella Academy and us and the rest of our siblings existed. I decided to defy Reggie and jump to the future in both of those timelines, except that’s where things went differently. It sounds like in your timeline, that version of me got stuck in the future with no way back. In my particular case, I jumped and instead of going forward in time, I went sideways and got stuck.”

“Sideways?”

“Meaning, I jumped to a different, alternate universe with the Sparrows, but the time remained the same. So, I grew up here, in this timeline but without good old Dad to raise me.”

“Oh right…” Klaus said, nodding as if he completely understood. “So, you’re not the same Five that rubbed hot chili oil in my underwear in retaliation for stealing your sandwich when we were twelve?”

Five looked taken aback, but then he gave a short laugh. “No, but I did dare MY Klaus to touch his junk after cutting up a habanero pepper, then proceeded to take his picture when he started screaming and pouring milk down his underpants.”

“Man, you really are an asshole in every timeline!” Klaus laughed. “Poor me.”

With a grin, Five shook his head. “It really is good to see you, Klaus. The last time I saw any of my siblings I was thirteen. I’m glad to see you made it out and are doing well.”

“Well…I wouldn’t go that far, but I made it out anyway. And what about you? So, you landed here and then what? I didn’t see you with the other assholes who were beating the shit out of us in our own home.”

“Oh, the Sparrows? Yeah, they are a special brand of dickheads, that’s for sure. Even as teenagers, they sucked. Which is why—”

Just then, a pulsing wave of…something…washed over them and the entire city block, only for it to reverse itself and disappear the way it came. As Klaus and Five stood there in shock, a lady that had been walking on the other side of the street screamed loudly. When they looked over, they saw her holding up a dog leash attached to an empty collar. She pivoted in place, scanning all around her while she called out “Winston!” in a panic.

“Well, that’s probably not good,” Klaus observed; head tilted to the side.

“Yeah, no shit,” Five snapped. He glanced down the street, where his family was waiting for him on a bench. They appeared to be intact and he let out a sigh of relief. “Listen, I have to get back to my family. I don’t know what the hell that was, but if I had to bet, I’d say it had something to do with Reginald. So, as much as I’d love to sit here and catch up, I have to go.”

“Oh,” Klaus said sadly. “Yeah, ok. But don’t you want to come meet the rest of the gang? We’re all staying over the Hotel Obsidian, if you know where that is –”

“You’re staying there?” Five asked incredulously.

“Yeah, why?”

“That’s Dad’s place. He owns it. Didn’t you know that?”

Klaus shook his head. “No, I had no idea. Are you sure?”

Five rolled his eyes. “Yes, I’m sure. I’ve been tracking Reggie since I was a kid. That place is basically his evil lair, and even if I haven’t been able to figure out what is going on in there, it’s a safe bet it’s in nobody’s best interest except his own.”

“Sounds about right, actually,” Klaus mused. “But, hey! He’s not there now, and our siblings would love to meet you, I’m sure. And OUR Five…he’s such a little shit gremlin, you should see him…you…well, you know what I mean. Don’t you want to meet your other self?”

“I’m sure there are terrible consequences to that, actually.”

“Oh, come on…just for a minute…”

“Klaus! A mysterious, dog-eating, energy wave from hell just passed over the city and you want to start planning a family reunion? They aren’t even my real family, anyway! So…while this has been fun, I have to go. Good luck with everything.”

In another flash of blue, Five was gone; reappearing at the other end of the street where his wife and kids were still waiting. Klaus watched in fascination as Five hugged them, and then continued down the street in a hurry, keeping them close to him for protection.

“Well, this is some weird-ass shit, even for us, right Benerino?” Klaus closed his eyes and sighed when he realized he was alone again. “Damn it. I keep forgetting.”

************************************************************************

Five was helping himself to the large selection of booze the hotel bar had to offer, trying to find just the right single malt to drown his sorrows and help him forget the happenings of the day. He decided that things couldn’t really get worse, so he might as well get plastered. He rattled off the earlier events in his head as he tipped back a bottle of Japanese whiskey and swallowed down a large gulp.

Lila tried to kill me. BOTH fucking briefcases won’t work. Lila tried to kill me AGAIN. The Commission is dead and the world is soon to follow. My old, one-armed ass died in front of me without giving me one single piece of useful information except “don’t save the world.” Jesus, what an asshole. And now this kugelblitz shit. He took another swig, grimacing as it slipped down his throat and burned his stomach. Oh yeah, let’s not forget that I’m still stuck in this prepubescent body, which is all sorts of fun. Although I think I spied one single hair on my nuts this morning, so things are really starting to look up.

“Fuck,” he muttered before laughing sardonically at himself and taking another pull at the bottle. “I should have listened to you, Dolores. I should have waited until I was one-hundred-percent sure of the math, just like you said. But you know me, always impulsive. I’m glad you’re not here to witness this, my dear, because I really stepped in it this time.”

“Five! Holy shit, I’ve been looking everywhere for you!

Klaus came running up to the bar, out of breath and smiling. Five frowned before taking another sip of whiskey. “Well, I’m not sure where you’ve been looking because I’ve been right here for the last hour.”

“Well, yeah…I mean I just got here. But, still, I have big news!”

“I’m on the edge of my seat,” Five said dryly.

“I met you!”

“Excuse me?”

“You! Well, another you, but it was still you! But like, older, you know? But with the same Umbrella Academy tattoo and surly attitude. And let me tell you…I was right because you did grow up to be hot. So, never fear little bro, you are one smoking piece of ass once you get past this awkward phase.”

“Klaus,” Five said, running a tired hand down his face. “What in the fuck are you talking about?”

Klaus took a deep breath. “I was walking around, trying to find this store I used to like, when I saw you. Another version of you.”

Five set the whiskey bottle down with a hard “thunk.” He crossed his arms on the bar top and leaned in toward Klaus, his eyebrows drawing together. “Come again?”

“You, Fivey!” Klaus repeated, gesturing wildly to his confused, smaller brother. “And get this…you have a family! An adorable wife and two precious little children. You should have seen yourself in absolute domestic bliss.” Klaus put a hand to his chest. “Oh, it was precious.”

Five slow blinked a few times, trying to understand what his moronic brother was babbling about. The whiskey was slowing his processing speed and he needed to catch up. “Hang on,” he squinted, trying to keep things in focus. “You saw another version of me? And you talked to him?”

Klaus nodded. “Yes!”

“This is…” Five muttered, picking up the bottle, but then setting it back down again with a frown. “This is not good.”

“That’s what he said! Well, not those exact words, but pretty close. I tried to get him to come here and meet everyone but—”

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Five barked.

“What? I thought he’d like to see the other versions of us, since he comes from a different timeline, apparently. This you didn’t get stuck in an apocalypse, he just landed here instead. I don’t really understand everything and we didn’t have time to get into specifics before the scary energy tsunami killed the vibe.”

“Energy…what? Damn it, Klaus, I’m too drunk for this.” Five sighed heavily, dropping his head onto his arms before raising it again. He passed a hand through his hair, sweeping it out of his eyes. “Ok, listen carefully. Do NOT, under any circumstances, interact with my other self again. Understand?”

Klaus pouted. “Why? Aren’t you curious about this you?”

With a sorrowful look in his eyes, he shook his head slowly. “It doesn’t matter if I am or not. What matters is keeping us safe. You and our siblings. We can’t worry about anyone else right now, and that includes any other versions of ourselves that may be walking around. We just don’t have that luxury.”

“But…your kids…”

“They are not MY kids, Klaus! They’re HIS!” Five snapped, much more harshly than he had intended. He backed down a little. “I’m sorry. There’s too much at stake. Not to mention I can’t be trusted if I’m around another version of myself.”

“Oh, right…the psychosis thing. Yeah, Luther mentioned you went a little..” Klaus made a cuckoo bird noise and circled a finger next to his head. “I forgot about that.”

“Yeah, well I haven’t. It’s not exactly a great feeling to want to scratch your ball sack off while your doppelganger tries to murder you. You tend not to forget those things.”

“Point taken, mon frere.” Klaus grabbed a shot glass from behind the bar and poured himself some of Five’s whiskey. After throwing it back in one go, he looked around. “Alright, I have to go find everyone else and tell them the news. They aren’t going to believe this.”

As Klaus walked away, Five knew he should stop him. He needed to tell him about the kugelblitz, especially since it sounded like maybe he had already experienced a wave of it. But he had just been thrown some very heavy news and he needed time to think. It didn’t help that his brain was foggy with booze and he had already been in a maudlin mood even before Klaus had dumped this on him.

There was another version of himself walking around that city right now, not that far away. Another version that grew up in a normal world. That didn’t spend decades in a lifeless hellscape, scrounging to stay alive and slowly going insane. One that hadn’t fucked up his life, not once, but twice, with shaky math and a too-cocky attitude. And one that had a real family.

That was what Five kept circling back to. Klaus had seen him with a wife and two kids. Just the thought that there was an alternative life for him out there that included a real family nearly sucked the air right out of his lungs. A wife. A real wife that he presumably loved and that loved him in return. Children of his own.

It was too much. He couldn’t breathe and he furiously pulled at his necktie as if it were a noose tightening around his thin neck. Five pulled in loud gasps of air, but it still wasn’t enough. Grabbing the half-empty bottle of whiskey off the bar, he staggered towards the first bathroom he saw off the main floor. Panting with eyes wide, Five trudged to the old, grimy sink and stared into the mirror.

“Fuck you,” Five hissed to the skinny little shithead that was staring back at him. “You’re useless.”

He took a long swig from the bottle, his hand shaking on the way. As two small rivers of brown liquid seeped out of the corners of his mouth and down his chin, he lowered the bottle clumsily, hitting the side of the sink and smashing it into pieces. As shards of glass rained down onto the tiled floor, the pleasant tinkling sound echoing around him, Five laughed. It was a dangerous, demonic laugh that frightened even himself. He stopped abruptly, his hands clutching the sides of the sink, palms digging into the slivers of glass that had fallen there.

“You stupid asshole,” he snarled at the kid-version of himself. “You absolute piece of shit. Look what you’ve done. You’ve ruined everything.” He looked down sadly, then back up again. This time, instead of hate in his eyes there was only bottomless sorrow. “You don’t deserve that life. That’s why you ended up here, looking like this. Because you are the version that shouldn’t exist. You are the version that does not get happiness.”

Five’s cold eyes flitted down to the ground. There, lying next to his polished dress shoes that he had been so excited to complement his tailored suit, was a large piece of the broken bottle. The shard was long and tapered at the end to form a jagged dagger shape. Perfect for stabbing. Or slicing into a main artery so that someone, or yourself, would bleed out in a matter of seconds. Five stared at that piece of glass for far too long before slowly lifting his head again, facing himself in the mirror.

“I know. Don’t worry, Dolores…it was just a thought. Besides, that would be like drinking bleach while your car is flying off a cliff into a ravine. Why bother? Either way it ends the same.”

A few hours later, after cleaning the bathroom of any evidence, and composing himself back into a man in full control, Five found his siblings. It was clear that Klaus had filled them in on his discovery, and they all hushed as Five neared the group, although he noticed Klaus himself was missing. Pausing to grab himself a tumbler of scotch on the way, Five joined them. After stopping to take a casual drink, one hand in the pocket of his suit pants, Five gestured with his glass in hand.

“Alright, let’s hear it. I know Klaus told you, so let’s get this over with.”

“Five, you have a family! That’s wonderful!” Luther gushed.

“I guess I was wrong, maybe you do have a bit of domesticity in you,” Lila snorted.

Viktor shrugged with a smile and Allison rolled her eyes, neither of them saying a word.

Diego nonchalantly flipped a knife in his hand while eyeing Five up. “So now what? We have to deal with two of you? Because I can barely stand one of you.”

Five smiled his usual, acerbic smile. “Well, Diego, the feeling is mutual. But fear not; neither you nor I will be coming anywhere near my other self.”

“Why not? Klaus said the other you seemed perfectly nice after you stopped slamming him against a wall,” Luther said innocently.

Five sighed heavily, wishing for the umpteenth time that he didn’t have the sole responsibility of critical thinking skills in this family. “Because…” he began slowly, to make sure they were understanding, “Not only does it have the possibility of creating even more havoc to this timeline, there’s also the little matter of –”

“Oh!” Luther interrupted animatedly. “I remember! The paradox psychosis!” He turned to the rest of the family. “You guys missed it, but he kind of went a little…” He lowered his voice to a whisper even though Five could hear everything. “…psycho, if you know what I mean.”

“Jesus, Luther, I’m right here!” Five closed his eyes to try and regroup. “But, yes, paradox psychosis is the real deal. And there’s no way around that. So, let’s just focus on the task at hand, which is trying to get out of here before the world implodes with us in it.”

Five’s gaze landed on Lila, and he immediately knew she was up to something. “What the hell are you smirking at?”

She shrugged while sticking her hand up her short skirt and pulling out a small item. Five made a disgusted groaning noise. “God, please, whatever that is, I do not want it.”

“Oh, shut up, you little perv. Here,” she said with an eye roll, shoving the item into Five’s hand and forcing him to take it. “While you were having your little heart to heart with your freshly deceased corpse back at the Commission, I found this.”

Five peered down at his open hand. It was a syringe filled with a yellowish substance. On closer inspection, he could make out two words scrawled along the side, in what looked like his own handwriting. Paradox Juice.

“Paradox Juice?” he questioned out loud. He looked back up at Lila. “Is this what I think it is?”

She shrugged again. “Your guess is as good as mine. I assumed it was some sort of concoction to ward off psychosis should you ever have to meet with your doppelganger. The old, decrepit you probably made it during his time at the Commission.”

Five held the syringe up to the light and peered intently at the golden liquid inside. “Where did you find this?”

“On one of the tables in the bunker. When you so rudely had me leave during your existential crisis, I swiped them on the way out.”

“Them?”

“Oh yeah…” she reached up into her skirt again, revealing an identical syringe. “There were two.”

“How did you…where did you have those, because we just…I mean I’m pretty sure I would have found those when we were upstairs doing…what the hell?” Diego stammered; his dark eyes clouded with confusion.

“Don’t worry about it, honey,” Lila answered with a smile and a quick pat on his cheek. “Every girl has her secrets.”

“Well, regardless of this finding, there is no reason for me to make contact with my other self. I don’t see the benefit, and it could possibly do more harm, like speed the kugelblitz along,” Five explained while shoving both syringes into his inside suit coat pocket. He took another drink from his glass. “Let’s just forget it, ok?”

“Guys!” Klaus yelled as he rushed up to the group. “I have some bad news.”

***************************************************

Chapter Two: Homicidal Rage

As the seven of them trudged along the city streets, taking up the width of the sidewalk, and bumping into one another while grumbling and shoving each other in return, the sky began to darken. Another pulsing kugel wave washed over them and the surrounding buildings. They all watched in horror as every other living creature evaporated into ashes and blew away with the wind. In a matter of seconds, they were the only ones around.

“Fuck, this is not good,” Five groaned. “I really don’t see how finding my other self is going to help anything. Besides, for all we know, that wave right there just destroyed me.”

“We don’t know, but we have to try,” Viktor said. “Between the two of you, maybe you can figure out how to get the briefcase working again.”

Five looked dubiously down at the mangled black case in his hand. “I just don’t think my other self is going to welcome us into his home with open arms. I know I wouldn’t.”

“I’m telling you, Fivey, this you seemed much less ragey,” Klaus said. Five glared up at him. “See? That look right there, the one that means you want to rip my throat out? I didn’t get that from this other you.”

“Probably because that version is getting laid on a regular basis,” Diego murmured to Lila.

Ignoring his brothers, Five went back to his own thoughts as they continued down the street. When Klaus had told them Chet was kicking them out of the hotel due to “insufficient funds”, there was a moment of panic. They had no money and their only home was currently occupied by the world’s biggest assholes. Five glanced up at a giant billboard looming overhead featuring those same assholes, before looking back down at the ground. Fucking fuckers.

After a family meeting that involved more bickering and finger pointing, they had concluded that the only possibility, no matter how slim, of stopping the kugelblitz by returning to their correct timeline, was to track down the other Five and ask him for help. Five had been the last hold-out in agreeing to the plan. He had no desire to find out what this other version was like. The one with the home and a wife and kids. Because he already knew the answer. He had everything and Five had nothing.

Allison, who had been leading the group, suddenly stopped, causing everyone behind her to cartoonishly crash into one another. She shoved Diego away from her with an irritated scowl, while continuing to look down at the piece of paper in her hand. She lifted her eyes to the building in front of them. It was a beautiful brownstone with magazine-worthy flowers and plants covering the front stoop; the gorgeous geraniums and petunias overflowing from their tasteful terracotta pots.

“I think this is it,” she noted.

“Damn, Five…nice digs. You must be doing well for yourself,” Diego commented after giving Allison a shove in return.

“Why do you assume Five is the breadwinner here? Maybe it’s his wife,” Viktor argued.

“I don’t. But Five is all smart and shit, I assume he’s probably some hot shot scientist or something.”

“Maybe his wife is a hot shot scientist,” Viktor shot back.

As the conversation quickly devolved into an argument among the entire group, Five remained silent. He peered up at the house in question. The one where the supposedly more successful version of himself resided. He stared at the flowers and the set of brick stairs that led to the front door with the cheerful looking wreath. He thought back on a time during the apocalypse when he and Dolores were scavenging for supplies. They had come across a destroyed row of brownstones just like this one, and he remembered finding broken shards of terracotta intermixed with the crumbling bricks. The odds that it had been this exact same house were pretty slim, but not impossible. Talk about fucking irony.

Five wiped the sweat from his brow and absent-mindedly scratched at his shoulder. Luther noticed and pointed his big meaty finger at Five.

“Dude! I saw that. You just scratched yourself.”

“Yeah, and you’re starting to sweat again,” Lila added, wrinkling her nose.

“I just walked several miles in a three-piece suit, of course I’m sweating. And people itch, Luther. Stop being dumb.”

“Denial,” Luther said, crossing his arms over his chest and nodding wisely. “Stage one.”

“God damn it! I am not…” Five started before scratching at his ass cheek, “…In denial, ok?”

“You do look a little weird,” Diego said, leaning in closer to Five in curiosity.

Five stuck his hand out, pushing his brother away with a palm to his face. “I do not look weird. Fuck, I need to take a piss.”

There were multiple grumblings around him, and Five was starting to suspect that maybe they had a point. He didn’t feel great. But…

“Hang on,” he said, glancing around and above him, looking crazier by the second. “This could be a trap.”

“How could it be a trap? He doesn’t even know we’re coming,” Allison reasoned.

Five whipped his head in her direction, eyes wide and manic. She took a small step backwards. “Because, dear sister…I am a fucking genius, remember?” He tapped his temple with his finger. “And I would anticipate our arrival. Probably set up some trip wires or something,” he mumbled, looking frantically around him.

“Ok, this is not going to get any better,” Luther told everyone.

Klaus nodded. “Yeah, Five, I think you need to take that shot of paradox juice.”

Remembering he had the two syringes in his jacket, Five took them out and held them up for everyone to see. “I’m not taking this, are you crazy? HE probably made these and poisoned them just to try and get rid of me,” he raged, pointing up at the house. “Paradox juice? You expect me to believe that I would come up with that lame ass name?” He turned to yell up at the windows facing the street. “I’m on to you, asshole!”

“Oh, for fucks sake,” Lila groaned. Mimicking Five’s powers, she blinked over to him, catching him off guard as she grabbed the syringes out of his hands. As Five began to protest, she looked over at Luther. “Hold him still, big guy.”

No stranger to taking orders, Luther immediately complied. Holding Five in place by pinning his arms to his side, he tried to reason with his struggling, smaller brother that it was for his own good. But that was like trying to reason with a cocaine-fueled raccoon, and Five snarled and hissed while trying to get away.

“Get your giant ape hands off of me! You tried to kill me before, I know you’ll do it again! LET ME G—OW! SON OF A BITCH!”

Lila sunk the needle of the syringe directly into the side of Five’s neck, pushing the plunger down and smiling gleefully while he writhed in pain.

“FUCK! FUCK FUCK FUCK…” Five screamed as Luther continued to keep him trapped.

“How long do you think it takes to work?” Viktor asked worriedly.

Lila shook her head. “No idea. Might not even work at all. Or I just killed him. But, you win some, you lose some, am I right?”

Everyone watched in fascination as Five slowly started to relax in Luther’s grip. His jaw unclenched and he stopped swearing. After about two minutes, the crazed look in his eyes left and he gazed at the concerned faces around him like a man waking from a dream.

“I think…I think I’m ok now,” he said weakly.

Luther leaned down, studying his face up close. “Are you sure? Because if I let you go and you kick me in the balls again, I am not going to be happy.”

Five shook his head. “No, really. I think that shit actually worked.”

Luther looked around for confirmation, and receiving nods of approval from everyone else, he let go of Five’s arms. Stepping back, he shielded his crotch from any unexpected backlash.

Five took in a deep breath of air and wiped away the last few drops of sweat that had been trickling down the back of his neck. Then he ran a shaky hand through his hair before straightening his suit coat and tie with as much dignity as he could manage.

“Sorry about that,” he told everyone, trying to regain his composure again. “If I said anything rude, I apologize. I was clearly not in my right mind.”

“So, no different than any other day,” Diego muttered under his breath.

Five shot him an irritated look, but said nothing. He turned to Lila. “Even though it was entirely unnecessary to stab me directly in the neck, you lunatic, thank you.”

“Happy to do it,” Lila grinned, slapping him hard on the back.

“Alright, then,” Five stated, rolling his shoulders back. “Let’s do this.”

As he took one step forward, the front door of the house swung wide open, revealing an older, and very sweaty and harried looking, version of himself. In his other self’s hands was a rifle that was trained directly at Five’s head.

“Don’t fucking move,” the other Five warned through gritted teeth.

Five paused, taking in the clearly psychotic version of himself before quipping. “Hey, asshole…the safety’s still on.”

As the alternate version lowered the weapon to check the safety, Five and Lila exchanged knowing glances with one another, before simultaneously blinking onto the porch. Appearing directly in front of himself, Five grabbed the rifle out of his doppelganger’s hands, while at the same time Lila stabbed the needle of the second syringe into his neck.

“AH! MOTHERFUCKER!” the other Five screamed, falling to his knees as he slapped a hand over the pinprick of blood that had started to seep out of the small puncture wound. “WHAT THE FUCK, YOU PSYCHO?”

Five threw the rifle down to Luther, who caught it in one hand, before turning to Lila. “Really? In the neck again? What is wrong with you?”

“I live for your pain.”

With a shake of his head, Five looked down at the panting, cursing version of himself. “Stop being a pussy. It’s not that bad.”

His alternate glared up at him. “Fuck you, Blue’s Clues.”

Lila laughed loudly. “Nice!” She held out her hand for a high five, but when she only received an icy glare from both men, she shrugged. “You’re too close to the situation, but trust me, that was hilarious.”

************************************************************************

“You have a lovely home, ma’am,” Luther said with an awkward smile as he sat scrunched on the couch between Klaus and Viktor.

The seven siblings, plus the older looking, alternate Five and his wife were gathered in the small living room. Five’s wife, who was introduced as Marie, sat perched on the arm of her husband’s chair, rubbing his back while he stared down his younger looking self.

“Thank you, Luther, that’s very kind.”

There was more awkward silence until finally Allison spoke up.

“Ok, so we obviously did not come here just for a friendly visit, although it is lovely meeting you two. However, we have a big problem. Our being in this timeline has caused a rift, so to speak, in the universe and now it’s trying to kill us.” She looked over at her smaller brother, who was standing with his hands shoved in his pockets, glowering angrily at his other self. “Five? Care to explain?”

Snapping reluctantly out of his stupor, Five faced his sister. “Right.” Then he addressed the other Five and his wife again. “So, as I’m sure you’ve noticed there are large energy waves pulsing over the city, erasing dogs and lobsters and now people.”

“Yeah, I have noticed. And I also happened to notice they started when Klaus here decided to follow me.”

Klaus started to protest, but Diego bumped him with his elbow, telling him to shut up. Five continued.

“Well, you are right about that. But it’s not Klaus’s fault, at least not solely. It’s all of ours. I thought we’d be able to remain here, just keeping a low profile, and live out our lives here. But, it seems the universe has other plans. So, we have accidentally created a kugelblitz and in a few short days it will destroy the entire universe.”

“Like a prolapsing rectum,” Lila added helpfully.

Both Fives looked at her with a frown and then turned back toward one another. The alternate Five set his elbows on his knees, leaning forward and steepling his hands under his chin. “So, you’re telling me that you group of assholes are the reason my family is going to be wiped out?”

Five nodded, actually looking a little sad. “I’m afraid so.”

“And you just came here to let me know, why? Just to give me a heads up? Mighty kind of you, thanks.”

Five gritted his teeth. “No, jacka—” He stopped mid-insult when Luther cleared his throat and gave him a look that said “Behave”. “No, that’s not why we came. We came…” He pushed a hand through his hair and he saw Marie bite back a smile as she recognized the same mannerisms as her husband. “We came to ask for help.”

“How am I supposed to help you? In case you forgot, James Bond, Jr., I AM you!” Marie gave him a pinch under his arm and the older Five jumped before looking just a tiny bit guilty. “Sorry.”

Five turned to his siblings, throwing his hands in the air. “See? I told you coming here was useless.” He turned to his doppelganger, leaning in with a caustic glare. “And just to remind you, shithead, I’m 28 years older than you, so watch your mouth.”

“Ok!” Luther jumped in, trying to salvage the conversation. “The thing is, Five,” he said, addressing the older version that was currently looking like he was considering punching his smaller self in the mouth. “We really do need your help. And you need his help. The two of you together are the only chance we have to stop this thing and get back to our correct timeline. Then you and your family, and the rest of the world, will be safe.”

“And how do you propose we do that?” the other Five said, tearing his eyes away from himself and turning to Luther. “My time travel math is just as shaky as his. I’ve been studying it my whole life, so it’s gotten better, but I still wouldn’t trust it. I certainly wouldn’t trust it with my wife and kids’ lives in question.” He placed a hand on his wife’s knee and squeezed it gently.

“Well, luckily, we won’t have to rely on just our powers,” Five explained, picking the black briefcase off the floor and holding it up for the other version to see.

“What the hell is that?”

Klaus piped up. “Remember I told you about the magical briefcase?”

The alternate Five nodded. “Yeah, I remember. So, how does it work?”

“Well, currently it doesn’t. Which is why we need you,” Five said.

The other Five took a skeptical look at the battered case. “How am I supposed to help? I’ve never seen anything like that before.”

Five sighed. “As it turns out, another version of ourselves created it, using our powers as its basic design. It’s one-hundred-percent reliable, unlike our blinks. That is, when the universe isn’t collapsing. Now, it’s a hunk of junk. That’s where you come in.”

“What makes you think I know how to fix it?”

Five’s mouth turned up at the corner with a smug smile. “Because, I know us. And I am willing to bet that you work in some sort of scientific field.” When he received no denial, he continued. “I am also willing to bet you have some sort of lab right here in your home where you’ve been working on time travel over the years, trying to perfect it.”

Marie laughed. “Wow, you are dead on with that. He’s made it his life’s work figuring out how to accurately time travel. Even when he was a teen, his mom said he was constantly in their basement working on it. She showed me pictures of him slumped over his desk, looking just like you actually, having fallen asleep while running his numbers. It was very cute.”

Five paused, thrown for a second by that comment. “His mom?”

The other Five nodded. “I was adopted after I jumped here,” he explained offhandedly. “So, what you’re telling me is that if we can get this briefcase up and running again, you can return to your rightful timeline, the universe will correct itself, and my family will be safe?”

Still dwelling on the fact that his other self had been adopted by different people, Five nodded slowly before collecting himself again. “Theoretically.”

The alt Five turned to look at his wife. “What do you think, darling?”

“Five, they’re your family, even if they aren’t from your same timeline. You told me how much you’ve missed them over the years, and now here they are! They need your help, and I know you can give it to them.” She brushed a piece of hair out of his eye with a sweet smile. “This is what you’ve been working towards. To use your powers for something good and big.” She kissed him, placing a hand on his cheek and he closed his eyes for a moment. “You can do this.”

He nodded and then turned back toward the group. “Ok, I will do what I can to help.”

“Thank you,” Allison breathed out with a sigh of relief. “Thank you, so much.”

“Better go show him your lab,” Marie told her Five. “In the meantime, you must all be starving. The kids were just next door playing, but I’ll have them come back and I’ll make dinner. Sound good?”

“I know I could eat,” Luther said excitedly while Viktor rolled his eyes at him.

“That would be lovely, Marie, thank you. Can we help?” Viktor asked.

************************************************************************

As the two Fives made their way down the basement steps, neither of them said a word. Five was still reeling from the brief bit of information he had just received about his 30 year-old self. This other Five had been adopted by someone other than Reginald. And from the sounds of it, they were nice, normal people. He swallowed down the lump in his throat, trying to clear his head and focus on what he needed to do. But it was extremely difficult when all he kept thinking about was how this alternate version of himself had been given the chance for a normal life while he just kept getting shit on over and over again. It was maddening to think about, and if he let it fester in his mind, he was going to go crazy.

Fuck, he needed a drink.

As his other self flipped the light switch on at the end of the stairs, the overhead lights flickered on with a quiet hum. Five stopped on the bottom stair and took everything in. The space wasn’t huge, but every single usable square inch was filled with something. Long work tables scattered with tools and notebooks, empty coffee cups and paper plates filled with crumbs. The walls were lined with white boards; each one crammed with lines and lines of familiar equations and scribblings. It was surreal to see his own handwriting and obvious work in a place he’d never set foot in before.

As he scanned over the jam-packed computer desk against the far wall, his eyes fell to the framed picture sitting amongst the clutter. It was the other version of himself, with Marie and his two kids. It must not have been taken that long ago, because the two adults looked the same. The kids in the picture looked to be about four and six. A girl and a boy. The four of the them were on a beach somewhere, the sun shining down and making the water behind them sparkle. The girl was perched on her dad’s shoulders, a pink sunhat on her head. The boy was standing in front of Marie, grinning widely with a plastic bucket and shovel in his hand. The other him was smiling directly at the camera, while his pretty wife looked lovingly over at him. Five had never seen himself smile like that before. He had no idea that’s what he looked like when genuinely happy. It was off-putting, to say the least.

“You ok?” the other Five asked gruffly when he realized his older yet smaller self seemed frozen to the spot.

Five cleared his throat. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. So what is all this stuff?”

“Well, I’m sure you recognize the equations and proofs,” he said, pointing to the white boards. He gestured to the tables. “I’ve been working on developing a type of time travel system, much like that briefcase. Some sort of object that could be programmed specifically to a certain date and time, so we don’t have to rely solely on our powers. Like—”

“A watch,” Five finished for him.

The other Five nodded. “Exactly.”

“I never did understand the briefcase,” Five mused. “It’s so bulky.”

“I assume it’s bulletproof, though?”

Five scoffed. “Don’t get me started.”

“Well, anyways, have a look around. Maybe something here can help, I don’t know. I’ve never really tried it in practical application before. It’s always been theoretical.”

“That’s ok,” Five said, setting the briefcase on top of one of the tables. “We have this as a guide. We can see if the inner workings of the case make sense in comparison to your work here. Then maybe we can piece things together to create a working timepiece.”

The alternate Five nodded thoughtfully again, studying his other self. “Hang on,” he said before striding over to the desk and opening the bottom drawer. He pulled out a bottle of single malt scotch and two glass tumblers. After filling each one halfway, he handed one over to Five.

“I recognize the need for a drink,” he explained with a tiny twitch at the corner of his mouth.

Five accepted the glass, trying to disguise the fact that he was practically salivating at the sight. Needing a drink was an understatement. He wanted the whole damn bottle. But he didn’t need to be getting drunk at a time like this. And he also didn’t need to be showcasing his shortcomings to this clearly sober, well-adjusted, life-is-just-peachy-keen version of him, either. The fact that he was a raging alcoholic with unhealthy coping mechanisms didn’t seem pertinent to the current situation. Instead, he lifted the glass in a toast and took as generous of a swallow as he dared. The whiskey was smooth and it tasted so fucking good, Five had to silently tell himself to not slug the whole thing back in one gulp. He watched as the other him took a leisurely sip from his own glass. He probably goes to church every Sunday, too. Fucking Mother Theresa over here.

“So, where do you work?” Five asked, trying to change the subject.

“Over at the university.”

“Physics department?”

“Naturally.”

Five nodded. “That’s where I always figured I’d end up, too. Just…didn’t work out for me.”

“Yeah, what happened? Klaus said something about a different apocalypse?”

Five paused, staring into his glass. “Let’s just get to work, ok?”

The other version shrugged. “Sure thing.”

#five hargreeves #five hargreeves fanfic #number five #number five fanfic #umbrella academy #umbrella academy fanfic #tua fanfic #tua 3 #fanfiction requests #fanfiction #badkittywrites #multi chapter #tua #the umbrella academy

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rottentiger-art · 5 months ago

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I was wondering why people were calling Fran a lesbian, but I rewatched her wedding and realized I had missed the face she made after the kiss. Kinda sad bc I shipped them but not complaining, we thankfully have Ben for bi rep, a lesbian bridgerton would be amazing.

Tho I am surprised they chose Fran instead of Eloise or Hyacinth for it, I wonder how they're going to handle the deal with her seeking another marriage to be a mother and Michael taking on John's title from the books (did women inherited on Scotland back then?), I thought of all stories this one (aside from daphne's) was the one where the gender of the love interest trully mattered. Maybe Fran does not miscarriage when John dies, has a male heir and Michaela moves in to offer support/take over the heir's duties until the baby grows up? It's such a major change, they'll have to essentially rewrite the story, there's so many possibilities.

I'm, personally, sold on the idea of two women falling in love on a castle with enough power to not have anyone telling them what they can and can't do, so I don't really mind.

My only worry is that the fans are not sexist and racist towards the new actress, and they easily were when they thought she'd be Sophie

#bridgerton spoilers #thoughts #francesca x michaela #francesca bridgerton #michaela stirling

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horriblehistorieslandfill · 2 months ago

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youve gotten me interested in horrible histories, could we get a lil rundown of it all? what is the idea behind it? :D

GLADLY !! I’m feel so honored that I was able to get you interested in this wonderful show :-) !! I’m assuming you’re only asking about the show BUTT you’re also gonna get an explanation about the books, Horrible Histories: Gory Games show AND the animated Horrible History characters too hehe

HORRIBLE HISTORIES 2009 SERIES:

Horrible Histories, a British sketch comedy and educational television series, first aired its 2009 season on CBBC. The show, primarily aimed at children, uses humor and parody to teach viewers about various historical events and figures. Each episode focuses on specific periods, cultures, or historical topics, presenting the information in a fun and engaging manner.

The series is based on the bestselling children's books of the same name by Terry Deary. It uses a combination of live-action sketches, animations, and musical numbers to make history more accessible and entertaining for its audience. The show's cast (Season 1 to 5), which includes Matthew Baynton, Simon Farnaby, Martha Howe-Douglas, Jim Howick, Laurence Rickard, and Ben Willbond portrays a range of historical characters, often in a comedic or exaggerated manner.

Today’s Horrible Histories (Season 6 to 10) isn’t as much as loved compared to the older Seasons, and I see why. The main reasons as to why the recent Horrible History seasons aren’t as loved is because of some controversial topics and some rewrites of history (So I recommend maybe just watching the earlier seasons).

(Just a quick note that I do not support nor condone any of the controversial topics that were written in the recent seasons, the only reason why I visit the recent episodes are to fast forward to the parts to where they show the animated clips.)

Back to the older seasons, Season 1-5 shows a great way of explaining and presenting historical topics in a fun, harmless and amusing way to its audience. There are also a bunch of British references and subtle jokes that will get a laugh out of you. The songs are quite catchy too :-D

If you are interested in watching Horrible Histories, you could always go to the BBC Horrible Histories Iplayer website or use this google drive I found on Reddit to all the episodes of Season 1-5 !!

Pros of watching Horrible Histories:

COOL FUNFACTS THAT YOU CAN FLEX TO YOUR FRIENDS THAT DON’T KNOW JACK ABOUT HISTORY !!!!!

FUN CAST I ABSOLUTELYLOVE THE SIX IDIOTS GO CHECK OUT THEIR OTHER PROJECTS

FUNNY SIDE CHARACTERS LIKE DEATH, RATTUS, SAM, CLIFF WHITELEY AND MORE !!!!!

someone kissed a priest idk

THE SONGS ??? THEY’RE THE BEST I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THEM

Cons of watching Horrible Histories:

getting the Monarchs song stuck in your head for months

sad song ending :-(

there will never be another season of horrible histories with the original cast (six idiots)

Summary: silly history show that is hosted by a talking rat with a variety of fun signs and fun other characters like Death and a historical news report guy with ADHD. also uhm a lot of people really like Matt Baynton dick turnip for some reason

HORRIBLE HISTORIES BOOK FRANCHISE:

Horrible Histories is a series of non-fiction children's books written by Terry Deary. The books, published by Scholastic, delve into different periods of history, presenting facts in a humorous and often gory manner. The series aims to make history fun and engaging for readers by focusing on the unusual, terrible, and gruesome aspects of the past.

Each book in the series covers a specific historical era, such as the Awful Egyptians, the Measly Middle Ages, or the Terrible Tudors. The stories are told through amusing anecdotes, illustrations by Martin Brown, and timelines, often featuring shocking facts, jokes, and quirky characters. Some books also include activities, such as puzzles and quizzes, to further engage the reader.

The first titles in the series, “Terrible Tudors” and “Awesome Egyptians”, was published in 1993, and since then, the series has expanded to include more than 30 titles, covering various historical time periods and regions, like the Rotten Romans, the Vile Victorians, the Cut-Throat Celts and even gruesome guides to places you may know such as the USA, France, London and more !

The books have been translated into multiple languages and have sold millions of copies worldwide. By presenting history in this unique and irreverent manner, Horrible Histories has played a significant role in making history more appealing to readers, helping to inspire their interest and encourage further exploration.

Martin Brown is an illustrator best known for his work with Terry Deary on the popular children's book franchise, Horrible Histories. He started off with illustrating greeting cards and now writes his own projects and draws illustrations for the recent Horrible History books such as “Up in the air”, “Right on Track”, Paws, Claws and Jaws”, and the upcoming new Horrible History book “The Truly Terrible History of the Toilet”.

Martin Brown’s illustrations play a significant role in the franchises' success, as they bring the gruesome and humorous aspects of history to life. His unique style combines a cartoonish aesthetic with realistic detail, creating a vivid and engaging visual experience for readers.

Besides reading the books, you could also play some Gruesome (not really, I just added that word for fun) Games like the Horrible Histories: The Board Game, Horrible Histories jigsaw puzzles, Horrible Histories Battle cards, Horrible Histories: Gruesome Game-A-Thons and many more !

Pros of reading Horrible History books:

FRIGHTENING FACTS !!!!!

MORE ILLUSTRATIONS !! PICTURE BOOKS 🔛🔝 !!!

dude the books are genuinely so fun theres pop up books, sicker activity books, coloring books, journals, puzzles and MORE ?????? also horrible history themed stationary stuff ANDD horrible history figurines which is like ,, well wicked.

Cons of reading horrible history books:

I haven’t ran into any cons yet so THATS A WIN FOR THE BOOKS !

Summary: READ THE BOOKS DAMN YOUR EYES !!!! god I absolutely love the books so much they’re so fun to read when ur bored and the illustrations were the reason why I even got into Horrible Histories so let’s all say “Thank you Martin Brown” I’ve learned so much from reading these books ANDDDD I spend less time on my devices woohoo !

HORRIBLE HISTORIES: GORY GAMES:

(I don’t know much about Gory Games because uhm I haven’t watched them yet I’m too busy watching Horrible Histories and the Beatles Saturday morning cartoons archived on youtube)

"Horrible Histories: Gory Games," a spin-off of the well-known BBC historical comedy sketch series, “Horrible Histories," is a children's game show that premiered in 2011. Created by the same team behind the original series, it's aired on CBBC. It also has a companion app for iOS and Android.

Hosted by Dave Lamb and Rattus Rattus, the show focuses on obscure historical facts. Three young contestants, known as "Horrible Historians," compete to collect "Year Spheres." These spheres represent years, either A.D. or B.C. Scoring A.D. years adds to their point total, while B.C. subtracts. The winner is determined by the contestant with the highest score after three rounds of historically-themed challenges or quizzes.

Pros of watching Horrible Histories: Gory Games:

THE ANIMATED CHARACTERS ARE THERE WHATT !! AMAZING RIGHT

You get to see Ben Willbond is a georgian costume

WATCH THE SHOW FOR YOURSELF I HAVEN’T WATCHED IT YET

Summary: if you wanna watch kids answer historical trivias then watch Horrible Histories: Gory Games (episodes can be found on youtube !!)

ANIMATED HORRIBLE HISTORY CHARACTERS:

(prepare for a long long LONGG explanation)

Canon/Official Information:

The reoccurring animated characters you may remember seeing in a normal Horrible Histories episode are probably the Rotten Romans soldier, Gorgeous Georgian lady, Frightful First World War british soldier or the Measly Middle Ages peasant. But do they have any background other than being a character from that era ?

[DING, DING, DING !]

These lovable but forgettable cartoon characters you’ve probably seen before make appearances in Horrible Histories: Gory Games, Horrible History book covers, Horrible History merchandise and even in the Horrible History games.

The animated/cartoon characters are used for the animated sketches or era headings in the 2009 Horrible Histories show. They also made multiple appearances in the Horrible Histories: Gory Games show, usually introducing the era topic, questions and answers. While most of the characters are recognized from the shows, almost all of them originated from the Horrible Histories book covers.

You may be surprised to hear that some characters have official names like this Victorian Gentleman, did you know his name was Howard ? Now you do.

How about this Tudor lady from an animated Terrible Tudors sketch ? Her name is Alice.

The Roundhead chief ? Oh yeah, his name is Victory.

We don’t get much information/background about these little shits, but when we do it’s usually shown in a subtle or way that wouldn’t be mentioned again. So what do I do ? LIST DOWN EVERY SINGLE FACT ABOUT THEM. (Probably not every single thing about them, but a lot of facts that you may not know !)

Since my discussion about the animated characters might be a bit too long, i’ll be breaking some of the subjects I’ll be talking about into 3 topics:

Canon facts

Fanon information (Things I made up about them)

Crabby Clash (Fanon once again !)

CANON/OFFICIAL ANIMATED CHARACTER FACTS:

The animated characters can interact with non-animated characters.

The mummy giggles alot

The Vicious Viking has a daughter (Fanon name: Eirunn)

The caveman is a father of 2 boys.

The Measly Middle Ages peasant’s family business is pig farming.

The Terrible Tudors headsman (Book cover character) does doodling

The (other) Measly Middle Ages peasant is a pilgrim.

The miner minor’s (Wales book cover character) father is shown in “When I grow up”

The Viles Victorian gentleman has a wife (Name unknown).

⬆️ He also sells cakes at science fairs !

The FWWI soldier has a trench mate (Shown in HH: Gruesome Game-A-Thons)

The Terrible Tudors Headsman has an official voice claim, voice actor unknown

There’s an animated HHTV News reporter named “Simon Skirmish” (Shown in “Protesting with Pankhurst” S9 EP3)

Animated Simon Cowell is canon in the animated Horrible Histories dimension

The Vile Victorian gentleman was ran over twice

I would name abunch of other facts I know, but I don’t want to make this post longer than it already is.

FANON INFORMATION:

(Note: This is just MY personal fanon opinions, other people have their own views, names and headcanons for these characters :-D)

Since BBC won’t give us more background about the animated characters, we’ll settle this the old way like any other fandom would; MAKE HEADCANONS !!!

Me and a few other HH fans gave most of the characters their own backgrounds and who they are, I’m truly taken back with what their creative minds came up with. You can check some of the names I’ve given the characters with the help of a friend in this post !!

I really don’t know where to start since there are so much fanon topics I could discuss right now, but here are a 2 topics I chose to discuss for now :-)

RELATIONSHIPS:

Headcanons:

(You may want to read the fanon names before reading my headcanons)

Ma-Nefer is blind (due to the fact that his pet falcon that Senouphis trained to rip his brother’s eyes out so he could become Pharaoh), his artificial eyes serve no purpose.

While Ma-Nefer was stuck at his burial, his only companion was a mummified cat he named “Geb”.

Senouphis gets a reoccurring nightmare where Ma-Nefer comes back from the dead and takes his revenge, of course that would never happen ,, yeah right.

Wycliff used to have a pet parrot, unfortunately he still hasn’t gotten over his parrot’s death.

They all hate Rattus (except for Médard aka the frenchie)

If Madeleine was ever to die during a bombing, Madeleine’s daughter would think of her doll as her mother and treat the doll as how Madeleine treated her.

Ma-Nefer is willing to forgive Senouphis.

Egbert is unaware that he’s related to the other medieval peasant.

Archie is the troublemaker, Toby is the problem solver.

Eirunn wants to be a vicious Viking just like her father, Ragnar supports her decisions but thinks that she shouldn’t be adventuring at her age.

Chopsalot loves plum pies he would devour one in SECONDS.

Rip Chopsalot you would’ve loved raisin muffins.

Ronnie likes to write poems and record his life in the trenches.

Lady Jane despises Egbert (peasants), she will not survive 5 seconds standing near him.

Benjamin is BALDING.

My mind has gone blank at the moment, so I don’t really know what else to say but I post a lot of animated HH character stuff so if you’re willing to listen to me ramble, then make sure to stay tuned :-)

CRABBY CLASH:

“What is ‘Crabby Clash’ anyways ?”

It’s an HHAC (Horrible Histories Animated Characters) AU where all historical periods/eras go to war against eachother, some eras/periods will have alliances while some will be on their own.

As of right now, I stil haven't figured out the alliances yet, but the whole story is completely up to you! Who wins in the Crabby Clash? Yes, that's the name of the AU (corny I know :-( ).

FUN FACTS about the Crabby Clash/HHAC:

The non-animated HH characters (Bob hale, Charles the II, Mike Peabody, Sue, Death, etc ..) are canon in the universe too.

A little conflict between 2 eras was the reason for the war (just like any other world war).

Women from some eras are able to go to war (because I SAY SO IT’S MY AU).

there will be yuri angst and brotherly angst so you should totally be interested in my au

The AU is still in the making, if you’d ever like to suggest something for my AU that would be heavily appreciated <3

And that’s about it I suppose :-) thank you for coming to my ted Jimb talk and see you next Friday night folks ! walks off stage and gets swallowed by an ottoman

#woah this is a long post #horrible histories #horrible histories gory games #jimb talk

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justherefortua · 4 months ago

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rewrite while changing as little as possible

this is my crack at tweaking some things while mostly working within the bounds of canon, with only 6 episodes, keeping most of the scenes, setting, side characters the same… What would you have changed about my or the original plot’s plan?

Spoilers for all of season 4 under the cut

- first of all. squids. tentacles. body horror with the black goo thingy. fleshy goo monster. decaying the earth. eating the earth up. The antagonist of this season should be THE HORROR, the extra-dimensional creature inside of Ben Hargreeves. This will save money on reshooting cgi scenes plus make it specific to both sparrow and umbrella ben for a Ben-centric season, rather than anyone with Marigold + Jennifer destroys the world

- Maybe it’s made of Durango or something, the antithesis of the Marigold, but Ben’s power is to keep it sealed, and occasionally hold power over it. Maybe it is Durango. Whatever it is, it was made when Abigail made the Marigold, and it seeks to consume and make everyone like it. It exists across all the timelines and over the seasons has become smarter and smarter. Not even Reginald and Abigail can understand or control it—maybe it destroyed their original planet, and snuck into the Reginald marigold release thing and got into Ben somehow. To tie in Season 3, The Hotel Oblivion was maybe built to nerf it/hold it? (I heard this was true in the comics since the hotel was used to keep villians? This could be hearsay, haven’t confirmed.) When Hotel Oblivion got used with the reset button, the protections went too which is why the Horror has more influence and was able to alter the new timeline to have the Keepers and Jennifer to set up the conditions for the Cleanse aka its takeover of the world and all the timelines.

- Jennifer as an agent of the Horror, unknowing or innocent maybe. Or knowing—she already wasn’t normal in that tv squid moment and in the shipping container and as a girl being Truman Showed by everyone else around her. A culmination of everything it’s learned about human nature, a lure of sorts for Ben and the rest of the Academy who generally like to save people. An eldritch horror of a regular girl? That would be so cool, just a normal girl with a normal life until it all turns upside down with the introduction of Hargreeves and Marigold and all that stuff. The acting direction could be good to have her be just a little bit off…

- instead of just Five and Lila, EVERYBODY should get in that subway. The subway is so cool. The other timelines are so cool. No one would be mad at a montage if it’s a family bonding montage. It leaves imagination for the family to grow closer together over a short period of screen time. This could be a whole season in itself and would honestly be a wonderful callback to other seasons and possibilities for the final season.

- AT MINIMUM, I think just adding Diego to the getting-lost-in-the-subway-for-seven-years plot would be amazing. He wants to live larger than life, be cool and rugged, and gets monkey’s pawed. Yeah you’re child-free with your wife doing cool action macho survival things every day but guess what? Subway Rats. He and Lila could hit rock bottom, let out all their anger, and then progressively make up over that 7 year montage and resolve to appreciate their kids, the in-laws, and the life they’ve built together. Alternatively, they could decide that their relationship really doesn’t work out and split up. Either way, it’ll be a mutual decision.

- As for Five, he won’t be going through an apocalypse alone and that is interesting in itself. He could bond more with Diego, find himself losing hope and finding it again, suffer complete burnout but be supported, finally work through Apocalypse-Commission-Handler trauma with Diego and Lila. Face the same choice of going back to The Cleanse (of course Diego and Lila are going back for their kids) or staying in safe Strawberry Land away from everything or until everything ends, true retirement. In the end, I think he chooses family.

- For Lila, I think she’s pretty good and principled towards her family aside from THE THING in the scenes we see her in, I’d like to know more about her family, her relationship with her kids, and develop her relationships with the siblings more as well. We got some moments with Allison as fellow moms, but what about Luther, Ben, and Viktor? I think she needs more specificity on how jarring the switch from assassin life is to family life is. Maybe she can open up in that 7 year montage somehow.

- In at least one of the numerous moments that Klaus died and could have went to the void. A moment with Umbrella Ben is all I ask, acknowledging that Klaus is with Allison and Claire now but also seeing how Klaus has essentially locked himself in and is very afraid of the world. 😭 he’d be so proud of Klaus though. ):: i know he’d punch Quinn in the face so hard 🙏 I’ll leave the aus where he’s totally back for the other than very close to canon rewrites

- Because I actually liked the Five Restaurant scene, I think it would be really meaningful for all those Fives to see a complete whole family and band together to help our Five and our family. Bonus if some of the Fives get hugs and tears and breakdowns because of the horrible apocalypses their siblings and families had to go through.

- this is just an overall thing but I think to help their motivation to save Ben everyone should at least elaborate on their past relationship with him, get to know Sparrow Ben as somebody other than a snarky guy, or make an appeal to him at the end when they’re trying to negotiate, even if it is a mix of Umbrella Ben nostalgia… ok this is getting into wishful thinking territory but i think it would have helped LMAO

- Methinks. I actually liked Luther a lot this season, with the stripper job he seems passionate enough about (yeah my man! own that!) and the run down Hargreeves Boy Home he lives in. (he never left the house… 😭) I feel he should have been given more to do. Maybe bonded with Derek and the non-Keeper people in the CIA, i bet they wouldn’t turn down someone with his powers. Maybe followed Klaus along and absolutely tear the motorcycle bike gang to bits for their not safe or consensual sex work shenanigans in comparison to his job. Maybe bond with Diego’s kids since he and Sloane never got to have kids themselves, a parallel he sets up first episode. Actually help Lila with childcare since she seems to be struggling;;

- Viktor and Reginald were fun. You could also add Luther here and it’d be fun too since they’d both advocate for Ben—Luther in particular was the most inclined to accepting Sparrow Ben.

- actually, Luther and Abigail bonding (she’s very nice and he likes validation) and pulling off a double cross with the Gene skinsuit thing would be a good idea until she double crosses him again with helping along the Cleanse instead of trying to stop it. Betrayed by your dad and your mom YAY

- I realize I didn’t suggest stuff for Allison but I liked her this season with Klaus and Claire, all she needed was to get more one on one scenes with siblings or lila, and that pretty much goes for every sibling i just need them hanging out with other siblings ❤️ actually ideally Sparrow Ben I feel like she’d call him out on stuff and be the one to level with when it came to big mistakes, lashing out, being selfish—and afterwards trying to say sorry and be better moving forward. Maybe she rumors him to stop seeing Jennifer to give more plot room for the siblings while keeping the “I can’t stop thinking about you let’s MERGE” idea but he finds a loophole like the sneaky little weasel guy he is (i love him) or Allison let’s it go in order to let him help her when she’s in danger or something idk

- I also like the keepers, very fun seeing everyday people and places repurposed to just have a bunch of guns. Gene and Jean were great, and Sy, guy pretending to be Jennifer’s dad. Fake Jennifer? Amazing. Bud I loved, what a guy!

- The Cleanse. Sparrow Ben and Jennifer have morphed into Goop Monster. The horror has almost won. It is all powerful, it has taken over everything else. It is just the Hargreeves and them in the former wreckage of the mansion, filling with goop. It fills with goop up to their necks and gets into their brains. All it needs is their Marigold, but they have to give it willingly. Taunt all of them with visions of their birth parents, the normal lives they could’ve had but even better, Luther with Sloane and dog and kids, Diego with Lila and his kids, Allison with Claire and Ray and her hairstylist crew, Klaus with Dave, Five with Delores, Viktor with Sissy and Harlan.

- Instead, family chooses their siblings and also the world. They use their powers at the same time and hold hands with Viktor or something at the center because he deserves to save the world instead of end it, combining Marigold or something in a blast that whites out the screen and presumably saves the world.

- Same sequence of the alternate timelines being destroyed. Same park scenes with all the cameos from previous seasons and the post credit marigold sprouting, except Sparrow Ben and Jennifer are also walking in the park at the end because they are technically also victims of the Hargreeves and the original Marigold fiasco. Boom. They sacrificed themselves. 🙏 RIP the end

OPTIONAL SELF-INDULGENT ALIVE ENDING (because I want them to be happy)

- Umbrella Ben and the family in the void and they get a tearful reunion and group hug.

- Klaus and Little Girl on Bike have some banter before she’s like fine. An exception for you all. She holds out the marigolds since her whole thing is flowers in her bike basket. Klaus gets to save the family yaaay

- Replace the marigold cutscene with a scene of all of them joining the family reunion in the park with Lila’s family and the kids

- Open ending to if they find those perfect lives or not in the reconstructed timeline, (Sloane Sissy Dave Ray etc) but at least they are together 👍

Things That Should Be More Well Thought Out And Go Through Sensitivity Readers And Be Addressed But I Dont Feel Personally Qualified to Address:

- luther and allison after that scene in s3. also the murder stuff but mostly that. delicately executed apology instead of willfully ignoring it

- klaus after suffering very bad relapse and sex trafficking during his arc and also being buried alive🙏 thats a lot.. to handle

- I feel adding Diego to the 7-years-montage plot would make it so that he and others appreciated a healthy weight for him in comparison to going through malnourishment to at least divert the fatphobic jokes a bit?? idk or we could just cut those jokes in general there’s nothing wrong with having a dad bod

- probably other stuff but thats the big ones that stood out to me

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darkwing-katy · 3 months ago

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I…can live with that, I guess? Thoughts on Evil’s final episode under the cut (aka SPOILERS)

-I’m sad in general that this show is ending and it will take me forever to recover from this show in the best way

-I guess my dream where I shoved Leland into a bathroom to keep him alive kinda worked???

-the main trio reliving their cases as they burn them was fucking adorable

-I’m gonna miss those girls so much

-the fuck are we gonna do about Lexis???? She seemed normal this season but, like, she had fangs and a tail and was born from a place tainted with demonic stuff. I wanna know how that resolves.

-okay so I guess since Timmy was baptized he can’t be the Antichrist? They were just gonna pivot and make another one? That’s fun.

-the sheer bureaucracy of the online meeting of the 60 had me cackling. “Norm. You’re muted.”

-NORM. IT’S THE BUTTON SHAPED LOKE A LOZENGE poor Leland has to deal with so much shit with these incompetent demons

-“you’ve protected Kristen for four years, Leland.” Uhm. What? He’s been protecting her? Why????? I NEED MORE OF THIS EXPLAINED TO ME????? It can’t just be the whole mother of the Antichrist thing, right???? THERE’S MORE TO IT.

-all things considered, I firmly believe Leland would not have actually killed Timothy. I dunno why; I can’t explain it. But I don’t think he’d do it. Not after that nice little drop of David’s goodness in him.

-Leland putting in earphones while creeping into the house to murder Kristen?? And singing and bopping along in the basement? Iconic. Iconic and adorable. I love him. I have a problem, I know.

-I WAS TRYING NOT TO FREAK OUT WHEN SHE CAME AT HIM WITH THE CORD (“oh shit, guess the bathroom didn’t work after all” was what I told my husband)

-but also the hilarious irony of Kristen strangling him with a red cord like that when that’s how Michael Emerson’s character kills John Locke in LOST???? Like I was stressing but also giggling like a psycho

-the reveal of the meaning behind the countdown was so on point for this show. This fucking show. (What about the bricks, though? Why did they want people to remove the bricks in Kristen’s basement?????)

-DAVID I DON’T THINK LOCKING HIM IN A CABINET IS ANY BETTER THAN STRANGULATION WITH A CORD???? IS HE JUST GONNA ROT IN THERE????

-(okay but all things aside, Leland technically didn’t die on screen and I love to imagine that he was released somehow) (o shit did I just come up with another fic idea????)

-FENNA!!!!!! FENNAAAAAAA!!!! THAT LIL SHOULDER BUMP!!!!!!!

-Kristen’s Dutch counterpart convincing her to move???? Wonderful

-Kristen and David in Rome??? With the girls and Timmy? And cool Italian sunglasses? Wonderful. 10/10. They get to be together but David doesn’t have to choose between her and God. Sure, there’s still sexual tension, but, they’re TOGETHER and not all meaningful relationships have sex as an active component

-BEN SHOULD HAVE GONE WITH THEM AND I STAND BY THIS

-THAT ENDING???? And the fact that Katja decided that was how Kristen should react on the fucking day of filming???? 10/10 no notes, only undeniable curiosity as to what would happen if we miraculously got a season 5

-that cliffhanger is satisfying but also I need a season five. And six. And seven eight nine.

Anywho. That’s, uh, about where I am right now. I’m extremely sad. I ate sushi and ice cream and it helped until it didn’t. I’m gonna continue rewatching the whole dang thing. I’m gonna finish rewriting my Leland fic. I might actually make the shirt I was joking about in an earlier post. Hell, I think the idea of a circle skirt with the map of the different demonic sigils would be amazing. And then I’m probably gonna wanna write more fanfic because I’m still in denial that it’s actually over.

But hey! In my head, Leland is not dead! That’s a win!!! Good job, Dream Kate! You sorta succeeded in protecting your favorite character!

#the life of me #kate rambles #evil #evil cbs #evil paramount #evil series #kristen bouchard #david acosta #ben shakir #leland townsend #I survived but I’m not okay #I need more #TO THE FANFICTION #sorry for rambling but I’m in denial and will be for 13427 years okay

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mayson-jarz-artz101 · 6 days ago

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Umbrella Academy Rewrite

Episode one: The World We Knew (Over and Over)

April 5th, 2019

The Hargreeves family have just arrived in the brand new timeline. They argue on where to go, with Viktor saying they should try to stay together. The siblings eventually all go their separate ways and the camera fades to black with text appearing on screen saying February 17th, 2028…9 years later.

The camera pans over the city and then shows the siblings living their daily lives with “The World We Knew (Over and Over)” by Frank Sinatra playing.

Luther has a closeup shot when a pencil floats past his face. As the camera pulls away and turns around, he is shown to be floating upside down and wearing a blue suit with a NASA symbol.

A closeup shot of a police badge moving back and forth. The camera zooms out to show Diego running in a police uniform. He then catches up to a criminal and he tackles him to the ground. He places his hands behind his back and handcuffs him. Diego forces the criminal up and puts him into the back of a police car.

Allison is shown on a red carpet, flashing lights everywhere. She then turns and faces the camera, holding a bottle of laundry detergent. She puts on a fake smile and starts talking, doing an ad read.

Klaus walks out of a room and the camera focuses on a plaque that says “Dr. Ryans, psychologist.” It cuts back to Klaus putting on a new pair of blue surgical gloves and a new face mask. He then walks down the street and into another building where the camera leaves him to focus on a sign saying “Alcoholics Anonymous.”

Five is sitting in a car, fixing up his suit and tossing a folder into the glove box. The folder is shown to say “CIA: Confidential” written on the front. He picks up a picture of his husband and three kids. He smiles and puts the picture into his coat pocket. He gets out of the car.

Ben is wearing an orange jumpsuit and sitting down at a table with other inmates, playing cards.

Viktor is playing the violin in a bar called “White Violin.” The song fades out into a violin cover and then stops.Viktor sets the violin down and thanks the patrons for coming tonight. Viktor gets down from the stage and goes over to the bar where his wife, Bella, serves him a small glass of whiskey.

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Bella: Good job tonight, babe. Everyone’s so happy..

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She smiles as Viktor chuckles

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Viktor: Yeah..it feels good seeing everyone smile..thanks for..encouraging me to play again. I kind of missed it..

Bella: Well, of course..you needed something to take your mind off everything else for a bit.

Viktor: “Everything else?”

Bella: Yeah..I see you staring at the picture of you and your family when we went to Five’s wedding. I know you miss them..

Viktor: Yeah..I guess I do. We just don’t see each other as often as we should..we all live in different places and we’re always so busy. But…as long as they’re happy. I think we deserve it after everything..

———————————————————————————

A phone on the bar started to ring. Viktor gets up and heads over to the phone. He answers.

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Viktor: Hello?

Luther: Hey, Vik! I was wondering if you were gonna head down here for Grace’s birthday party…I know you’re all the way in Canada but…It’s been awhile since the family got together. It..It would be nice if you came.

Viktor: Oh..I-I don’t know if I can, Luther. I mean, I’ve got the bar, we’re still cleaning up after Valentine’s Day..I don’t think I’ll be able—

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The phone gets ripped away from Viktor.

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Bella: We would love to come, Luther. Send us the details and we’ll be there. See you soon, big guy. Bella hangs up the phone.

Viktor: Bella!

Bella: What? It’s been 9 years, Vik. Your family wants to see you…and I’m sure Grace wouldn’t complain about seeing her Uncle Vik, hm?

Viktor: I-I guess not. I mean, I don’t think she remembers me. Diego probably doesn’t talk about me a lot.

Bella: Quit being cynical and go start packing. I’ll close for the night.

———————————————————————————

Viktor sighs

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Viktor:…Alright. I’ll trust you on this, Bella.

———————————————————————————

We cut to the outside of an arcade when a white minivan pulls up. Lila gets out of the car and opens the trunk. Another car pulls up behind her and starts honking. Lila freezes in place. She marches over to the car and knocks on the window. As the woman rolls the window down, Lila leans in and looks her directly in the eyes.

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Lila: If you touch that horn one more time, I’ll disconnect your brain stem.

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Lila then reaches into her pocket and pulls out a party hat. She puts it on the lady’s head and says with a strained smile “It’s my daughter's birthday. Have fun.”

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She goes back to her car and pulls out some grocery bags and a cooler. Her eldest daughter, Grace, gets out of the car with her younger twin sisters and an older Stanley, who is on his phone. They all run into the arcade. Lila struggles to close the trunk but manages to do so. She walks inside and sets the groceries on a table. At that moment, Diego walks in, still in uniform. He walks up to Lila and goes to hug her.

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Lila: Woah, Daddy Pig, Why’re you still in uniform? I thought you said you were going to be in “civie” clothes.

Diego: Sorry, a 10-31 came up..Dude kept running but I caught him. I had to drop him off at the station..I didn’t have time to change over. But hey, I look cooler in the uniform.

Lila: Yeah, well, your fly is down, cool guy.

———————————————————————————

Diego looks down only to see it is in fact, not down.

———————————————————————————

Diego: Hey—

Lila: Made you look.

———————————————————————————

Lila chuckles

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Diego: Oh, whatever, you.

———————————————————————————

He chuckles and shakes his head.

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Diego: Say, did you get the piñata? No party is complete without one.

Lila: Yes, I got the damn piñata..it’s over there, I haven’t hung it yet..

———————————————————————————

Diego looks over. That isn’t the piñata from the store he had asked earlier.

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Diego:…Is that the one from the east side store? I told you the ones on the west side are better…that one is basically impossible to destroy.

Lila: well…the east side store was closer. It’s fine, it’ll still get the job done.

———————————————————————————

Lila walks off.

At that moment, Luther walks in with his wife, Mallie, and their five kids. Luther walks up to Diego and they bro hug.

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Diego: Hey, bro! Good to see you again, glad you could make it.

Luther: Oh, yeah! We were really excited to come here. Y’know, Dimitri loves hanging out with Grace so..we wouldn’t pass up the opportunity.

Diego: I can’t remember all of your kids, man. You need to lay off Mallie. I turn around for a second and suddenly there’s two more kids.

———————————————————————————

Luther smiles happily.

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Luther: Well..What can I say? We’re happy. Maybe we should have two more…bring up the next Umbrella Academy.

Diego: Oh, god…an Umbrella Academy full of Luther’s. I think I had a nightmare about that once.

Luther: Shut up. Anyway…Look who I got out on a day pass.

———————————————————————————

The camera panned over to Ben leaning against the wall, as far from the party as he could.

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Diego: Dude…you brought that asshole to my kids birthday party? He’s a criminal! He’s…He’s not even our Ben. He’s like the..shitty knock off Ben.

Luther: Hey, Hey..Dad—

Diego: Luther. Don’t.

Luther:…A certain man adopted all of us. Even if it's a different timeline…He’s our brother, in a way. He deserves a chance. Plus…it’s not like he killed someone. He got arrested for doing what you used to do.

Diego: What I did was different. I actually trained. I was an actual hero. Not some diva thinking I was.

Luther: Diego, come on. Let him. Lila was a crazy spy..yet here she is.

———————————————————————————

Diego sighs and rubs his eyes.

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Diego: Fine. But he stays away from my kids. And the alcohol. It’s my booze. I paid for it with my legal money.

———————————————————————————

Diego walks away. Luther heads over to Ben and hands him a canned soda.

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Luther: Hey, Buddy. Having fun?

Ben:…Don’t talk to me like I’m a child.

Luther: Sorry…you kinda get used to it after doing it for so long. But, seriously…you having fun?

Ben: Prison is more fun than this.

Luther: Well..tomorrow, you get to go back.

Ben: Either way, you’ll still find a way to bother me.

Luther: Of course, I’m your brother..it’s what we do.

Ben: You’re not my brother. My brothers are dead. The only one here is Jackson and it’s not even him.

Luther: well..yeah. I get it…you’re not our Ben either…but you’re still our brother.

———————————————————————————

Ben scoffs and rolls his eyes.

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Ben: Whatever…

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Ben walks away and the camera cuts over to Five walking in with his family.

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Five: I’ll try to stay as long as I can, Jack…I just got a lead in my case.

Jackson: I know, but your niece doesn’t see you that often and I’m sure she’d be happy to. Also…these are your siblings.

Five: I know, I know.

———————————————————————————

Five kisses his cheek and walks over to Diego. He leans over a railing.

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Diego: Five, good you could make it…hey, did your boss get my resume?

Five: Uh…I wouldn’t know. I’m not his file keeper.

Diego: I’m telling you, he’s not gonna regret it. I’ve been awesome as a cop.

Five: Yup…so I’ve heard. Y’know how the others have been?

Diego: Well…I’ve seen Allison on tv. Seems like she isn’t doing too bad. Klaus…Jesus, that guys rough. He was an alcoholic druggie…an alcoholic druggie cult leader…a sober idiot…now he’s a massive germaphobe.

Five: A germaphobe?

Diego: Yeah, big time. He lives in Allison’s basement…I don’t know how Beatriz handles it. He’s got a kid now, too.

Five: I’m sure that kid will be just as sane.

———————————————————————————

The camera cuts to Klaus walking in, pushing a stroller. Next to him are Beatriz and Claire. Klaus stops and looks around. He takes out a box of gloves and masks and replaces the ones he’s wearing.

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Klaus: Hang on, Claire-bear, let uncle Klaus get situated…arcades are known to be the filthiest places on earth..next to dive bars and movie theaters.

Claire: I..don’t know where you get your info from, Uncle Klaus. It’s gonna be alright…I’m…sure your brother knows how weird you are. So he’s prepared.

Klaus: yeah, I suppose so…here, don’t forget your hand sanitizer..and your mask. And gloves! And remember, stay and arms length—

Claire: —away from everyone, I got it..don’t worry.

———————————————————————————

Claire walks away and goes over to Grace and gives her a hug. Klaus panics a little bit but Beatriz pats his back and tells him it’s okay.

Theon walks in with Emme, the Swedes and Fei. The Swedes set some gifts onto a table and Emme walks off, going over to Stanley.

Viktor walks in with Bella. Viktor gives Diego a hug and they start chatting away about life.

A montage starts playing of everyone having a good time at the party.

Stanley and Emme put mentos into peoples sodas, running off and laughing.

Lila goes outside to get something from the car. She notices Allison and heads over, noticing her smoking. She takes it from her and takes a smoke, smiling. They talk a bit before going inside.

Luther helps the kids hit the piñata.

Ben is still standing against the wall, but Five joins him and they have a small talk.

Klaus is happily talking with Lila and Theon’s family, with Theon sitting next to them, clearly embarrassed.

Diego brings out the cake but Luther accidentally bumps into him, causing him to drop the cake. Diego looks up at Luther and stares at him. As Grace lets out a scream of “MY CAKE!”, Lila appears, holding another cake.

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Lila:…What? This family is a disaster, I planned for this.

———————————————————————————

Diego laughs and he takes the cake from her, setting it on a table. He puts candles on it and Grace blows it out. He helps Grace cut into cake to give everyone slices.

As the night goes on, the party slowly comes to an end, with everyone saying their goodbyes and giving hugs.

Five goes over to Jackson.

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Five: Hey…sorry, but I can’t head home after this. Something came up with the case…

Jackson: Alright…just be careful, Five. I don’t want you to die in your god awful disguise.

Five: What’s wrong with my disguise?

Jackson:…the fake mustache. The name. “Jerome”…come on, anything is better than that.

Five: I’ll run it by you next time, then. I’ll see you later tonight, okay?

———————————————————————————

Five kisses him and walks out to his car. He gets in and he puts on his disguise. He drives to a building and walks in, looking around.

A woman walks up to him and grabs his shoulder.

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Lila: Hey, big boy.

Five: Li—

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He noticed her name tag, “Nancy.”

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Five:…What are you doing here?

Lila: I’m interested in what they have to say. Aren’t you?

Five: Whatever. Just…stay out of the way.

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Five leans in and whispers.

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Five: I don’t need you compromising my mission.

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Lila leans in too, whispering.

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Lila: Nor do I.

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She smirks and takes him over to some seats. They sit down and the lights dim. A projection appears on a screen, showing a picture of an open upside down umbrella being held by a sparrow.

Five looks at the screen, slightly confused. How do they know about the sparrows? The umbrellas?

As he ponders, a man and woman walk onto a small stage and stands in front of a podium.

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Woman: Welcome to our weekly meeting…it’s so good to see all of you here. We’ve got some old faces…and we have some new ones. For the new friends, my name is Jean…and my husband is Gene Thibadaeu. We study various possible timelines. Now, please, give a round of applause to our newest members, Nancy and Jerome.

———————————————————————————

Applause fills the room and then dies down.

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Jean: Lovely to meet you both..

———————————————————————————

She gives a warm smile. Lila leans over to Five and whispers.

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Lila: She seems like a sweet old lady.

Five: So did the handler.

Lila: Touchè…

———————————————————————————

Gene clicks a button on a remote, changing the slide.

———————————————————————————

Jean: As many of you know…we have been collecting relics for a very long time. Relics of other timelines. Most people don’t believe us…they think we’re crazy. But as you see here…Carriages with umbrellas and birds. Little figures wearing similar uniforms and masks, one of which has tentacles coming out of his chest. Two masks, a blue bear and a pink dog.

———————————————————————————

Five whispers to himself

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Five: Hazel and Cha-Cha…

———————————————————————————

Gene presses the button again.

———————————————————————————

Jean: There have been no records of any of these existing. Anywhere. But today…me and my husband bought a new piece. Some of you may know the movie “Love on Loan.” A romantic comedy, nothing special..but the one we bought stars a different actress. A woman named “Allison Hargreeves.”

Gene: You heard her right. The very same Hargreeves who owns half of this city. We checked all official records…this man has no known children or family, nor does his wife. And this Allison woman doesn’t exist either. So…who is she? Why was she replaced?

Jean: Good question, Gene. We believe…she was from another timeline. One that was destroyed in “the cleanse.”

———————————————————————————

Gasps are heard around the room. Five and Lila look at each other. Five whispers to Lila.

———————————————————————————

Five: what’s “the cleanse”?

Lila: hell if I know, I just got here.

———————————————————————————

Jean coughs and looks at Five and Lila.

———————————————————————————

Jean: Very chatty, Nancy and Jerome. Perhaps you’d like to share?

———————————————————————————

Five stands up.

———————————————————————————

Five: Yes, actually. I’d like to know what this “cleanse” is. I’ve never heard of it.

Jean: why…it’s the very cornerstone of our little group here. We believe that at some point, every timeline that exists…is destroyed. And each timeline will collapse until we are left with the perfect one.

Five: And what is the perfect timeline?

Gene: Not this one, if that’s what you’re getting at. You and I won’t be around to see it…but our other versions will be. They are. They’re living their lives right now, not a care in the world.

Five: How do you know?

Gene: We’ve seen it, boy. Visions…we can’t deny it. And the cleanse is coming…and it’s coming soon.

Five: I..see.

———————————————————————————

Five slowly sits down again. Jean and Gene continue their presentation. As time passes by, the presentation ends and everyone begins to leave the room. Lila and Five look at each other and get up to leave. Gene steps in front of them.

———————————————————————————

Gene: Good to have you two here. So..inquisitive. That’s good around here. Questions give you answers and answers give you satisfaction. I hope we’ll be seeing you at the next meeting…

Five: You will. Don’t worry.

———————————————————————————

Five walks past with Lila and goes to his car. He sighs and gets in. Lila gets into the passenger seat. Five looks over.

———————————————————————————

Five: What are you doing?

Lila: Hitching a ride. I walked here, y’know. Ooh, let’s go to a cafe, I’m starved. There’s a good one just up the road.

Five: No. I need to go home, Jackson’s probably worried…

Lila: It’ll be fine. Just go!

———————————————————————————

Five sighs and says “Fine.” He drives to the cafe and they go inside, order food and sit down.

———————————————————————————

Five: so..wanna say why you’re really here?

———————————————————————————

Lila has her mouth full.

———————————————————————————

Lila:…because I’m hungry?

Five: No! Why you were at the meeting. You’re…a mom.

Lila:…and you’re a dad? What’s the difference?

Five: Just answer the damn question.

Lila: I was bored, alright? Can’t just “be a mom”…I was something before…at the commission. It’s hard now…I’ve got to do everything for my family…I’ve got no time to myself.

Five: So…you're using it as an escape. I see…well…you should stop. This mission is bigger than you. I’ve got the resources…this is my actual job. You’re playing pretend. You should go back home before this all falls apart..

Lila: Says you. You’ve got your kids and Jackson..

Five: I know. Sometimes I regret taking the job…but it ensures he lives the life he wanted. And that’s all that matters.

Lila: I guess. Well, I’m done…perhaps I’ll see you next week, hm?

———————————————————————————

She smirks and gets up. Five watches as she leaves. The camera pans out to reveal Diego parked in front of the cafe, watching Lila. He narrows his eyes, angry. At Lila. At Five.

Five gets up and walks out to his car. He noticed a little note on his windshield with the number 5 on it. He takes it and opens it. Written on the note are two numbers. What could it mean?

End of episode one

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whatudottu · 9 months ago

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If I thought the Transformers (Aligned) timeline was convoluted, god the Trollhunters timeline is fucked beyond all hell, and worse of all because they use Merlin - bloody MERLIN - as a character that created the amulet there's an upper limit of time Trollhunters have existed before, heck even Myrddin Wyllt his welsh name (and canonical alternate name in the show), Merlin stops being the Merlin from human myth and starts becoming Merlin a similarly named folkloric character in troll myth-

I wonder if I, a fan coming in at minimum 2023, am arriving to this a little late but- if this isn't going to be a timeline rewrite then let me complain about how specific canonical details contradict with one another, including the glaringly obvious issue of Wizard's addition to the timeline, making Deya the Deliverer the first Trollhunter and thus practically erasing most of the historical Trollhunters or conforming to fit them all in a timeline of 900ish years.

I'll address the elephant in the room when we get to it, but let's set up the basics, both for me and any viewer not already in the know (given that my audience is mostly from transformers and ben 10, I'd say it's a lot of you).

Trolls and humans got off to a bad start, humans living on the surface and trolls having originated from a realm called the Darklands, accessible from a bridge (a gateway) Kilahead bridge. Like with any civilisation there are good and bad trolls, the baddest being Orlagk the Oppressor, leader of the Gumm-Gumms. Having been introduced to the surface, trolls fought with the humans who already lived on it creating the War for the Surface Lands, and their fighting lead the first Heartstone (a gigantic magical gem that serves as the centre of troll caverns, healing them and providing power) to corrupt and birth Gunmar. This war lasted for millennia, Gunmar taking over leadership of the Gumm-Gumms after slaying Orlagk at some vague point, up until the Battle of Kilahead Bridge where the Gumm-Gumms were sealed away in the Darklands again thanks to the Trollhunter Deya the Deliverer.

Okay, sure, that doesn't sound very bad at first, up until you realise that the Battle of Kilahead Bridge was 900 years prior to the series (2016 was it's release date) and thus in the year 1116 AD give or take; the legend of Merlin as a magician, a wizard, was in the 12th century which would've been instead at minimum 1300 AD that's 200 years of difference. Not to mention Angor Rot - a character and antagonist in the show - came begging for magic to stop Gunmar's armies from destroying more and more independant troll tribes, like his own, in 1200 AD at least. Why in the fucking hell would Angor Rot bother to risk his own soul asking for magic, from a sorcerer known as (among many things) the Eldritch Queen, if Gunmar and his Gumm-Gumms were already kept within the Darklands. Gunmar's son Bular, the one Gumm-Gumm to not be banished, is surely not that much of a threat to not one but multiple villages it would send someone to the doorstep of the Pale Lady. In addition, Angor Rot was responsible for killing at least a few Trollhunters, one known and named being Voltar the Voracious, who was the only Trollhunter given an exact year of choosing in 1578. And the fucker is listed BEFORE Deya on the wiki but that alone doesn't mean anything, however she does die in 1620 to Bular, 396 years before the show.

Alright then, so you look at Merlin's mythological existence and go 'now what about the whole thing about millenia' because 12th century doesn't allow the War for the Surface Lands to have a Trollhunter, even with 11 named Trollhunters that come presumably before Deya (Unkar the Unfortunate, despite being trained by Blinky who in human standards - assuming his human body tells us his age - is probably about middle age give or take, fought in the time Gumm-Gumms were still around even if slain by Bular). Given that Trollhunters itself references Merlin's original Welsh name Myrddin (and his in show last name is Ambrosius, which would be Emyrs in the original Welsh, as opposed to Wyllt for 'of the wild), I thought that potentially looking into when Myrddin first came around I would be able to get a better timeline; Myrddin Wyllt was said to have been born - and not just the legend - in 540 AD, which gives between that and 2016 1476 years to work with, allowing the 400ish years ago that Deya died (and the 438 years from when Voltar had the amulet) and the millenia's worth of war the War for the Surface Lands took.

Done deal, right?

Well guess what, some fucker named Spar the Spiteful (not even the first Trollhunter like Deya so proclaims to be) died 5200 years before Jim, our protagonist and first HUMAN Trollhunter, ever picked up the mantle. 5200 years before 2016 is the bloody fucking 4th millenium BC. This period included the beginnings of the Bronze Age, and was the bloody time WRITING was invented! And in Spar's time, there was no DOMESTIC HORSES! HORSE RIDING DIDN'T BLOODY EXIST WHEN SPAR DIED HOW FUCKED IT THAT!?

God FUCKING DAMN IT!

Fine, I can work with this.

Merlin in the show is all the old man we think of him as in myth, but he's also still old when we go back in time to when the Battle of Kilahead Bridge takes place, albeit it without a full head of grey hairs (how does the old man age more than his teen/young adult apprentice) potentially as a young sorcerer/wizard/whatever they use these terms interchangeably, Merlin or Myrddin created the Amulet of Daylight. You could even give more wriggle room between whenever trolls came to the surface and when Merlin made the amulet, because although Orlagk was a figure explicitly older than Gunmar, there is no mention of an amulet without Gunmar simply a time when he was still not a leader. In fact, given that Merlin's original name - Myrddin - came from a riddle designed with the intent to kill Gunmar, a piece informing the Trollhunter teams how to kill Gunmar rather than Orlagk the original leader, perhaps it's befitting to make Myrddin technically younger than the trolls; given that the original purpose of the Amulet of Daylight was not to kill Gunmar but to protect trolls, seeing as how one of the keys to Gunmar's destruction is a Triumbric Stone (one of 3) that resulted in the death of Orlagk, the amulet can date to before Gunmar and have been made after the Gumm-Gumms took out their rage on other trolls instead of humans alone.

The Trollhunter after Spar the Spiteful was Boraz the Bold, named that specifically for taking on 1000 Gumm-Gumms, was killed by Bular who was - as I said - Gunmar's son. While that does not mean that Spar the previous Trollhunter existed before Bular did, it does mean that by the time Boraz was selected after Spar's position Bular was competent enough to slay a Trollhunter, especially one as 'Bold' as Boraz who felled a thousand Gumm-Gumms before falling to 1001. It would mean that his father Gunmar would be much older, potentially tracking further and further back in time and putting Orlagk's death deeper and deeper into the War for the Surface Lands, potentially even aligned Orlagk's death and the Triumbric Stone's creation to a period humans heard of Myrddin, the death of Orlagk potentially landing in 540 AD, perhaps even in 573 AD where an actual battle took place, the Battle of Arfderydd; this details a Riderch Hael, King of Alt Clut (Stratclyde, a Brittonic kingdom in northern... well... Britain, which got annexed in the 11th century AKA 1000 AD to become part of the emerging Kingdom of Scotland) slaughtering the forces of a Gwenddoleu ap Ceidio, Myrddin having gone mad watching that defeat.

The remaining named Trollhunters, ones that weren't explicitly dated and timed, are in a bullshit order on the Wiki that I just have to piece together what is being said to put together a timeline.

Maddrux the Many, he/him in the show and she/her in the comics, was canonically an active Trollhunter before another, Araknak the Agile, was either born or an actual functioning adult; Araknak is the ancestor of the previously mentioned (and assumed to be) middle aged Blinkous Galadrigal and his brother (an older brother or twin depending on who you quote) Dictatious Maximus Galadrigal, the pair being present for the Battle of Kilahead Bridge and still alive by 2016 and idk about Tatious but Blinky appears in 2017 or at least whenever RoTT takes place. To use the term ancestor instead of grandparent or even parent, which technically ancestor can be used on either anyway, means that the exact family history is undetermined. However, we can place Maddrux at the very least on the timeline where Orlagk was still active in, seeing as that was her major enemy in the comics.

At the end of her service instead of going directly to Araknak, a Trollhunter preceded him in Magmar the Molten, the only known mountain troll to be a wielder of Daylight. Interesting to note, Araknak learnt from Magmar a certain combat move so, even before his selection by the amulet Araknak was already preferring the lifestyle of a warrior in comparison to his scholar parents; a trait that outlasted the warrior spirit and descended to the Galadrigals however many years later. Mentioned specifically as preceding not only Araknak but Tellad-Urr, we have another date to place as Tellad-Urr the Triumphant - very soon to be Tellad-Urr the Terrible - was active until 501 CE where Orlagk was still alive; how convientient. It helps that Gogun the Gentle - his immediate successor - would be the only Trollhunter to die of old age, potentially because Gunmar was too busy killing Orlagk and Orlagk too busy being dead for either of them to do anything.

Hopefully Gogun was already an old fart because the oldest recorded troll Chokeenamaga lived to 5352 years and I have no idea if that's slightly above average, notably old, or specific to a troll type (like for example, mountain trolls may have the longest average lifespan of all trollkin), and it's not like I can look at the show for any reference because Draal the Deadly, son of Kanjigar the Couragous and the previous Trollhunter did not age between 900 years yet there are no troll whelps in modern Trollmarket, let alone the fact that the Battle of Kilahead Bridge according to our established Trollhunters could not have happened before 1578 but must have happened between then and 1620. And Draal is an adult in modern day but is rather impulsive and I do not know if that is simply a troll trait or the trait of a twenty something year old that should've had a different design in the past but couldn't because of the limitations of 3D show animation (Prime fans would know or at least see visually that you can't just design a cybertronian version of a bot's root mode without things getting expensive, it's why Skyquake couldn't fly despite looking the same before and after alt mode acquisition).

Speaking of age, this is also the time where Aaarrrgghh!!! was a teenager, which either means that Blinky is actually much younger than Aaarrrgghh!!! or there is another Trollhunter or few between Araknak the Agile and Tellad-Urr the Terrible; 5200 years is a lot of grounds to cover, especially with a Trollhunter dying of age between it. Tellad-Urr has an appearance similar to Kanjigar, and given that it's a book cover rather than a 3D model there may be grounds for him being of the same tribe as Kanjigar if not an ancestor like Araknak to Blinky. It could work give or take, especially since 'ancestor' is less of an official word and more of a footnote for someone's opinion, but it isn't word of god nor anything found in any media.

And keeping with age (last one I promise) Gorgus the Gorgeous, referenced in terms used by modern trolls 'By Gorgus' or 'Great Gorgus', was one of the youngest Trollhunters to be chosen. Whether he was younger than Jim Lake Jr, 16 years old at his time of getting the amulet, depends on what the hell the age of 24 fucking means to a troll. Is it the equivalent of 24 years in troll years? If so then why the hell does he begin training 32 troll years later at age 56 if he wasn't chosen to have the amulet at 24 human years old. What is 24 human years to a troll. NotEnrique, a changeling (troll whelp cursed to change into a human, can do so at will) is canonically a few centuries old, and he is fresh from the Darklands after replacing a human baby Enrique. He at a few centuries old is able to throw and host a troll party at his age, and maybe changeling's age differently and a changeling hosting a troll party would be very new because haha discrimination, but no troll flinches at the concept. And a few centuries could be considered more than 2 (being a few it's already more than 1) so the more centuries you tack on to this college type frat party host the more and more Gorgus' age becomes terrifyingly young like exorbitantly so.

If a few centuries means 'ability to host a party where full grown trolls do keg stands' then 24 probably means whelp, baby, a fucking toddler by troll standards, assuming changelings follow troll aging standards against their human mimicking physical development standards. If a 24 year old Trollhunter is only ONE OF the youngest Trollhunters, who was the youngest? Predestined at bloody birth!? Gorgus started training at age 56, presumably when he was old enough to wield a sword, being trained by none other than Kanjigar himself; Gorgus died during training when a group of Gumm-Gumms attacked, an arrow hitting him in the head. If NotEnrique was an adult, or at the very least on the cusp of it, at a few centuries old - more than 1, probably more than 2 - then what of someone at age 56, less than a few centuries, less than one. Whether Kanjigar was a father at the time or not, loosing a kid under his guidance - to death no less - would've stuck with anyone. Why was this child sentenced to death, and so young too. One can argue all the Trollhunters to failed to live up to legacy, who became their own version of Unkar the Unfortunate, were sentenced to death and fated to die young. Gogun may have defied fate and beat the ticking clock, but Gorgus the Gorgeous - a gorgeous child, a son to parents that will never see their little boy again - proved that there is no outrunning the clock for the bells toll for thee.

If Unkar was before Gorgus, then it is to be presumed that by dying on his first night - after 6 hours of training - that Gorgus the Gorgeous was failed by Blinkous in the same way Unkar had been. The next Trollhunter in line was summoned too soon, so because of Blinky's failure the trolls against Gumm-Gumms were without a defender, potentially reducing the remaining candidates for better trainers by slaughtering them before the Trollhunter was of age. If Unkar was after Gorgus, then Kanjigar needed to step away from training, even as it was his task given to the aging elder Rundle, potentially a younger but very busy Vendel, an elder by proxy of everyone else dying on the edges of Gumm-Gumm blades. He couldn't sacrifice another child to death, and as the amulet falls onto the arrogant overconfident Unkar, Kanjigar could not bare to have stone dust on his hands again. Blinkous Galadrigal (there is no mention of Dictatious despite the presence of Gumm-Gumms in Unkar's time) is tasked to train Unkar, to teach him the tennants of Trollhunter and put to good use his scholarly teachings and pray that the soul of his Trollhunter ancestor guides him. Unfortunately - as Unkar will be enshrined in by title - you cannot let a scholar do a warrior's duty.

However way it plays out, Blinky was young (or at least younger), and his failure marked his reputation for centuries.

There is a Grimbald the Grave, trained with Kanjigar AND Deya, which would definitely place that before 1620 and potentially before 1578; Voltar wasn't mentioned to have been trained by either, but given that he was the last Trollhunter before Deya (at the very least in close proximity), Grimbald most likely came before. Now this seems like a non-issue, if you consider Grimbald against our timeline nothing seems to be wrong, potentially Kanjigar's age since he's been around for a while but his son's an adult in the modern day so he could potentially be older than Blinky who knows. But I have an elephant to address and since it's been so long since I brought it up it's been drinking tea this whole time.

Wizards, the third installment of the Tales of Arcadia series, sequel to Trollhunters, introduces to audiences that Deya the Deliverer was originally Callista the Calamity, a troll who's tribe had been wiped out by humans and had been living in human custody since she was a whelp (or of an age that she had forgotten her name). Deya makes the timeline such a mess, because her first appearance in the comics, she was of an age where Rundle - Vendel's father - was the elder of Glastonbury Tor Trollmarket at the time of Deya, the Trollmarket before Dwoza which is the Trollmarket before Arcadia. Rundle was around in 501 AD, but it was his father Kilfred who was the elder and his son Vendel was of age enough to help in consulting, however old that is. In Wizards however, Vendel was the elder of Dwoza before Deya was Deya and when Callista was still an outcast, and even then he was only the elder by proxy, signs of his father Rundle or of Kilfred missing. Of course however Rundle could have been elder of Dwoza, as his father before him was elder of Glastonbury Tor, simply that he was potentially slain potentially died of old age and that Vendel being one of the few older than most of the Dwozan trolls took over in his father's stead.

The issue with Deya is that I really like the Callista part of her backstory, of being an outsider, an outcast, in the world of trolls that still hated humanity but held a deeper fear of the Gumm-Gumms. Diaspora for trolls, Callista the Calamity is seen as a human pet despite her wanting to find her way home, a home she can never go back to because it had been destroyed long ago; the one place that she could be accepted don't because they see her as too human, a far cry to being called a monster by humans but certainly not relieving. But she had become Deya, and found her footing as the Deliverer, by turning the Trollhunter from a single force to fighting alone to rallying a bunch of... gravellors? (Whatever, I like to think of Dwoza as essentially a refugee tribe given it's diversity in comparison to the Krubera tribe who are only krubera and the Quagawump tribe who are only - save for the generic troll king Angor killed - quagawumps) to fight one last fight against the Gumm-Gumms and ending the War for the Surface Lands.

...SO... that probably means that Grimbald was trained exclusively by Kanjigar after the whole Unkar and/or Gorgus ordeal and eventually got the Trollhunter's amulet himself when Deya was slain, her sacrifice delivering the migrating trolls of Dwoza a chance to get to the New World (or the Americas). Oh and their migration was after Vendel and some king wrote a truce called 'The Pact', which - I mean - it's described as a feeble truce and with a name like that I don't blame it, where they promise to stop eating humans and limited their diet to cats and used clothes which well- they might've broke on the journey to the New World because hiding in the cramped ballast of a 1600s era boat isn't fun nor is it fast. But regardless-

I think for a sense of cohesion, let me pull out an almost timeline for this post.

Trolls who had previously been in the Darklands somehow get to the surface

Tensions between trolls and the already present humans grows beginning the War for the Surface Lands

The intensity of the war corrupts the first Heartstone, giving birth to Gunmar

A young wizard Myrddin creates the Amulet of Daylight and gifts it to the good trolls

Spar the Spiteful gets the amulet. He dies 5200 years ago

Boraz the Bold gets the amulet. He dies to Bular, Gunmar's son.

Maddrux the Many gets the amulet

Magmar the Molten, the first mountain troll Trollhunter, gets the amulet

Araknak the Agile, ancestor to Blinkous and Dictatious Galadrigal, gets the amulet

Tellad-Urr the Triumphant, turned Tellad-Urr the Terrible, gets the amulet. He is killed in 501 AD

Gogun the Gentle gets the amulet.

Orlagk the Oppressor is slain by Gunmar. Gunmar loses an eye

Gogun dies of old age.

Angor Rot makes a pact with the Pale Lady, trading his soul for her magic

Unkar the Unfortunate gets the amulet. He dies 6 hours later

Gorgus the Gorgeous, one of the youngest Trollhunters, gets the amulet. He dies at age 56

Grimbald gets the amulet

Voltar the Voracious, born of two minds, gets the amulet in 1578. He dies to Angor Rot and his soul is stolen

Deya the Deliverer, previously Callista the Calamity, gets the amulet

The Battle of Kilahead Bridge is fought. Gunmar is defeated and the Gumm-Gumms (+ Dictatious Galadrigal) are trapped in the Darklands

Deya dies against Bular, last remaining Gumm-Gumm on the surface, in 1620

Kanjigar the Couragous, trainer of many Trollhunters, gets the amulet. He dies to Bular in 2016

James Lake Junior gets the amulet, and the events of the series take place

So, members of the Trollhunter fandom, how'd I do? If you stuck around this long, welcome to my gimmick, long posts :)

Hoo boy how should I tag this?

#trollhunters #toa #rambling #headcanon #idk this is a timeline rewrite but not a rewrite yaknow #like i'm interested in what the book timeline might have to offer #but idk #this took me several hours to write #give or take 4 hours maybe #not every trollhunter in the history of trollhunting is named because not every trollhunter has been listed #and kanjigar is only noted as the trainer of trollhunters because he's the one trollhunter to have experience with trollhunting i suppose #also- its one thing to have longevity as a species (i come from the transformers fandom those robots are fucking old)#it's another to have fathers and ancestors and dying of old age without considering how that shit works #like the oldest lived troll is in the 5 thousands right? is it the equivalent of 100 years old for humans?#like is the typical age of an elder troll 4000? is it just as likely they might cark it at 3000?#that's 80 and 60 in human terms- maybe the common age of an elder troll is 3500 at a human 70 equivalent #24 years in comparison to 5000 years is like a 6 month old human baby #56 compared to 5000 is 1 year old but surely that is not the case #trolls are apparently born egg-like... as egg-like taking a piece of each other literally and putting them together as one object #that eventually hatches into a troll whelp is egg-like... the parts i mean are heartstones which i think are hearts #draal is described to have hatched this way with ballustra and kanjigar splitting their heartstones #what the hell are gronknuts then meta answer kicking people between the legs is integral to kid comedy #okay i'm going to stop looking at my screen i don't have a mirror but my eyes feel like they're red

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cookiesandbiscuits · 1 year ago

Text

Now Playing: Falling In Love

[Lucifer – Strange]

Pairing: Lucifer x GN!Reader

Genre: Fluff, pining

Summary: You were a strange one, and that baffled him. Yet at the same time, he can't help but be enamored with you.

A/N: The first installment of Now Playing: Falling in Love series starting with the eldest demon brother and the love of my life hehe... (No favoritism were intended okay?)

The song I chose for this fic is "Dear" by Ben&Ben

The first time I heard this song, he came to mind. I don't know why but I just thought of him. It does suit him though in my opinion.

And yes, this is part of my Soft Lucifer agenda, and yes, this is a rewriting of that lesson chapter where MC made the pact with Lucifer. I felt that something was missing from it. And this is the result :D (I am squealing as I write this lmao). And yes, he asks for your consent this time because consent is sexy.

Anyways, I hope you guys would enjoy reading this! <3

Now Playing: Falling in Love playlist

MASTERLIST

"Only the two of us can understand

The sureness of our love

I promise you that I will hold your hand

No matter what may come

Within the beautiful and captivating

Strangeness of our love

I found a sense of peace and clarity

That I had once dreamed of

My dear."

"I have a question."

He sighed. You've been asking a lot of questions lately. Ever the curious one.

"I had a feeling you would still ask even if I told you no, so just go ahead and ask."

"I've been curious about this for a while now, but how did you fall in love with me? And when?"

The sound of writing halted. Yet another strange question.

"Where do you get these questions, I wonder?"

"Well, I've thought about it, and... you've never really shown interest in me before. So I was surprised that you accepted my impromptu confession that time."

Your alarm interrupted your explanation.

"...Guess I have to go now. Can't let Luke wait for me," you said as you left a peck on his cheek. "Don't overwork yourself when I'm gone, 'kay?"

"You should go now, lest you want to be late for your appointment with the chihuahua."

"Luke would complain nonstop if he heard you call him that," you spoke as you open the office door.

"Yes, I can imagine that. But it's not like I'm lying."

You shook your head. "I'll be going now. See you later, Lucifer."

"Yes. Do enjoy your time outside with Luke."

He watched as the door to his office closed once more. Moments after he resumed his halted paperwork, his mind replayed your question.

"When, huh?"

He wonders.

He found you strange. You were teleported from the human world to the Devildom, yet the glimmer in your eyes was unmistakable. You actually found your predicament interesting, like a kid seeing a brand new toy on sale.

A bushy-tailed fool amongst demons that has the ability and will kill you without batting an eye. He mused. Would you be able to survive your year in this realm?

To his surprise, you had adapted well to your new environment. Sure, Mammon and his younger brothers had something to do with it, but it was still an incredible feat for a human with no experience with supernatural stuff before the exchange program.

However, he was also suspicious of how you seemed to enchant his younger brothers so much so that they were willing to tie themselves down with a pact.

So he observed you.

But the more he watched from afar, the more he found himself falling for your charms.

It was ridiculous for him to fall for a human, he thought. And it was more ridiculous to fall for a human so stubborn as a mule.

He tried to reason with himself. It was stupid. It was...

But demons were creatures unable to resist temptation for long. And so, like Newton's apple, he fell. He fell for the human who had caused him several headaches. He fell for those fiery eyes that showed no fear in front of him. He fell for your personality which he once found oh-so annoying. He fell for your smile. He fell for your kindness and warmth. He fell for your strength and determination. He fell for your strangeness. He fell for you.

How strange indeed.

Several months had passed. The sparks you had ignited in his heart have now become a raging flame. Yet he couldn't bring himself to confess to you. Not when he treated you coarsely before.

He wants to make it up to you.

And so, he began to show his affection in little ways. He helped you with your homework. He helped you with your tasks. He gave you little tokens that reminded him of you as a gift. And it made you smile, and his heart fluttered at the sight of it.

But he wondered. If he told you what he felt, would you accept it?

The uncertainty tortured him. Especially when he knew that he had rivals who also yearned for your heart.

He wished that he had answers.

And answers, he received.

When you confessed in the spur of the moment, he felt his heart leap from his chest. He didn't care if you meant it or not.

"I- I, too, feel the same. I love you, MC. With all my heart."

Ah, he had finally said it.

Tender obsidian and ruby eyes met yours as he cups your face.

"...May I kiss you?"

You nodded slowly in reply.

And with that, the distance between you was closed. Your lips were like what he imagined and more. Soft, sweet, and warm.

And at that moment, he felt pure tranquility and adoration well up within him.

He does not know how or when he fell in love with you. But he does know that he would give anything just to have even a sliver of your time and affection.

You were strange, and that baffled him. Yet that same strangeness had brought him immeasurable bliss he never knew he could have.

#Spotify #now playing: falling in love series #now playing: falling in love with lucifer #obey me #obey me shall we date #omswd #obey me lucifer #om lucifer #swd obey me!#obey me lucifer x reader #obey me lucifer x you #om lucifer x reader #obey me lucifer fluff #lucifer fluff #cookie writings

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irrevocableloves · 1 year ago

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violent delights

twilight rewrite! edward cullen x fem!witch!reader

chapter five: blood type

previous chapter ౨ৎ masterlist ౨ৎ chapter six

summary: edward gives in, no matter the efforts it took to keep himself away from her.

warnings: swearing, fluff, blood, gore

words: 4.9k (unedited)

Throughout the entire night, Edward’s words replayed in my mind. It's better if we're not friends. What did that even mean? That he wanted to? That he felt this pull just as I did, but was too afraid to embrace it? Or was it just me? My stomach twisted. He must’ve noticed how engrossed I was by him and didn’t want to lead me on. Perhaps he was a mind reader. Oh god. The pathetic thoughts I’ve had towards him… I was considering it.

Normally, it was so easy for me to read people. For all my life, I was able to take in someone's thoughts from just their expressions whether it was genuine or forced. I knew someone was so annoyingly obsessed with me or completely hated my guts. Lauren wasn’t even a good example, anyone could see right through her act even though she tried to hide it with fake smiles and interactions. She didn’t like me and even the entire school could catch onto that. My dad always wondered if I could hear his thoughts because of how in tune I was with his emotions. He was closed off, which was part of the reason him and my mother ended things, but for me? I could always see right through him and know exactly what to say to him. But, Edward on the other hand? He drove me absolutely insane.

My thoughts were thankfully interrupted by a buzz on my cell.

jess <3: Mike said YES!!!!

And then an immediate call afterwards.

Jess had me on the phone for almost an hour talking about Mike, the dance, Angela and Ben, and then of course, the so-called ‘tension’ she felt with Edward and I. But, I quickly changed the subject to shopping for dresses which kept her occupied for another hour.

Finally, she hung up and I went onto doing homework and answering emails from my mom before eventually passing out.

Turning into the school lot, I made sure to park even farther than usual from his Volvo for my own sanity. Getting out of my car, I realized I’d left my keys and yanked it out a bit too swiftly, the keys flying into a puddle just outside my car. As I bent down to get it, a white hand swooped in and grabbed it, causing my jerk upright. I looked up, seeing Edward Cullen casually leaning on my car, my keys just dangling in his hands for me to take.

“How the hell do you do that?” I ask with an exasperated huff.

“Do what?” He held out my keys for me and I snatched them. He gave a light-hearted chuckle.

“Appear out of thin air.” I spat out.

“Y/N, it’s not my fault that you’re exceptionally unobservant.”

I didn’t want to have this conversation again. I was tired of it. Instead, I walked past him. This time not even bothering to serve him a glance towards his way, no matter how much I wanted to.

To my surprise, he jogged towards me.

“So, why the traffic jam yesterday?” I huffed. “Thought you were supposed to be pretending I don’t exist, not deliberately annoying me.”

He gave a light chuckle. “That was for Tyler’s sake, not mine. Seems like he wanted a chance with you.”

That’s when I finally faced him, finding the urge not to hit his perfect face or perfect anything for that matter. “You’re fucking kidding.” He only seemed amused by my response.

“And I’m not pretending you don’t exist.”

“Oh, really? So you’re trying to annoy me to death? What? Since Tyler’s van didn’t do the job?” This anger was new to me. Usually, things didn’t bother me this much. But, Edward was different.

I expected anger from him as usual, but he only looked down at his feet, before muttering, “Y/N, that’s not–”

“I don’t care. Can you just leave me alone? Please? I just can’t keep up. One minute you're angry and the other you're consoling me. Your mood swings are giving me whiplash.” I interrupted him, not daring to look him back in the eye.

Silence followed, which was my que to head off to English.

I hadn’t realized class started by the time I walked in, Mr. Mason gave a huff with a “Thank you for joining us, Miss Y/L/N.” I headed to my seat in a rush.

The entire class, I spent the majority of the time zoning out, thinking about what Edward had said. It wasn’t until class ended that I realized the seat next to me wasn’t occupied by the usual Mike, who would whisper my ear off for a straight hour. The silence was quite nice, but it worried me a bit. Once we all walked out of class, Mike’s spirits seemed to have lifted somehow as Eric mentioned the beach trip. Even with your sixteen years living here, it amazed you how Jess and the boys enjoyed surfing in this weather. No matter how much you favored Forks, California sure had Forks beaten with beaches. Most of the beach trips at Forks consisted of Angela and I waddled up in blankets at the back of Tyler’s van and watching movies off of one of my old DVD players.

The rest of the morning passed in a blur. Now, it was lunch. With my shaking nerves, I attempted to keep all my focus on Jessica’s babbling instead of searching for those golden eyes. I could hardly keep up with her pace as she rambled on about the dance plans, even convincing Angela to ask out Ben. I couldn’t help but wander my eyes towards his table. He wasn’t there. His four siblings sat in their usual spots, the only one with eyes on me was the one with a pixie-cut, Alice, with a slight smile curving on her lips.

“Edward is staring at you again,” Jessica said. I broke eye contact with Alice, bringing my attention towards Jessica. “I wonder why he’s sitting alone today.”

I followed her gaze from across the classroom. There he was. Edward. His crooked smile widening once he’d caught my attention. Suddenly, I’d lost my appetite. He waved his fingers towards me, motioning for me to join him, then a wink. Fuck.

“Does he mean you?” Jessica’s voice staggered. I’d forgotten we weren’t the only people in the room for a moment. “Told you he was into you.” she whispered, fighting through her giggles. I swore he heard that asI saw him fight a chuckle.

I shoved Jessica with my shoulder, hesitantly walking towards Edward with Jessica’s giggles in my rear view. When I reached the table, I didn’t sit, instead I stood behind the chair waiting for him to speak.

“Why don’t you sit with me today?” he asked, smiling. I eyed the chair, pulling it opening and sitting on the edge of it. His smile felt unreal, as if it was another ploy to reel me in again and push me away just as hard.

“Thought you didn’t wanna be friends?” I questioned.

“I said it would be better if we weren’t friends, not that I didn’t want to be.”

“What does that even mean?” I couldn’t read him. Why put so much effort into someone he hardly even knew? Why was I doing that?

“It means if you were smart, you’d stay away from me.” I tried.

“Haven’t I tried that already? You’re the one who wanted me here.”

“Well, I’ve decided to hell with it. As long as I’m going, I might as well get to know you better.”

“Hell? Now you’ve just expanded my theories.” I had none. No logical ones at least. I couldn’t even think them, let alone say them out loud, it was too bizarre.

“Oh, really? Won’t you tell me then?” he asked, tilting his head to the side with a tempting smile.

“Nope.” I shook my head, giving him a malicious smile.

“That’s really frustrating, you know?” So was he.

“Well that’s too bad.” I snickered. I decided not to make a scene, I could’ve bursted to him about the many ways he’s frustrated me. For starters, him being absolutely disgusted by me, ignoring me, then suddenly being enamored by me, then saving me, then ignoring me again, then suddenly he wants to get to know me? But, I wasn’t about to let the entire cafeteria know my frustrations with him.

“Fair enough.” He chuckled, then moved his gaze towards my original table. “I think your friends are angry with me for stealing you.”

I looked towards them. Angela and Jessica wore the same attitude: smiles and a fit of giggles. Lauren was angry as always, forcing herself closer to Tyler as he watched Edward and I with careful eyes. Eric pretended he wasn’t looking at all. Mike on the other hand, thankfully Jess hadn’t noticed, was burning holes at the back of Edward's head.

“They’ll survive.”

“Your boyfriend seems to think I’m being unpleasant to you – he’s debating whether or not to come and steal you away from me.” My face fell.

“He’s not my boyfriend.” I mumbled.

“He sure acts like he is.”

“Yeah, well that’s not my problem.”

Our table fell silent for a moment, until he spoke, “Aren’t you hungry?” No. I was full of nerves.

“No,” I said plainly. “You?” I knew what the answer was. It was embarrassing how attentively I watched him. He had food and he nibbled at it, but he never once ate. Same with his family. Emmett always carried a large amount of boiled eggs for whatever reason.

“Can you do me a favor?” I breathed out, hesitant to even say anything at all.

“Depends on what you’re asking for.”

“Not much…” He waited for my response. “What is this? What are we doing? Are we friends? Cause I don’t wanna waste my time if you’re just gonna ignore me again.”

“I told you – I got tired of trying to stay away from you. So… I’m giving up.” His smile was almost contagious, but I can see the pained look in his eyes.

“Giving up?”

“Yes, giving up. I’m not good for you, I know that. But, for some reason, I can’t seem to stay away from you.” He said softly. My breath hitched. I can’t seem to stay away from you. So, I wasn’t the only one.

“So…” I breathed in. I could hardly even bring myself to speak. “Friends?”

“Only if you tell me one of your theories.”

“Maybe later. Too many people around.”

He’d gotten up, I assumed that he’d wanted to leave. Instead, he moved his arm in front of himself, gesturing for me to go in front of him. “Lead the way.”

“You can’t be serious.” I laughed. The entire cafeteria’s eyes were on us, even his siblings and the stare they wore seemed unwelcoming, besides Alice, who tried her hardest to not break out into a smile.

All he did was give me another famous smirk. I practically jumped out of my seat, feeling all eyes on me as Edward and I left the cafeteria. We walked until no one was in sight, leading me to the back of the school on a hillside.

“Now, just one theory – I won’t laugh,” he said, plopping himself down in the grass.

“Yes, you will.”

“Please?” he breathed, leaning towards me.

I froze. My mind had gone completely blank. It took me a minute to recuperate before responding, “It’s dumb. I–I don’t know? Bitten by a radioactive spider?” It didn’t even sound better in my head at all.

“Well that’s not creative at all,” he scoffed.

“Well that’s all I’ve got. You haven’t given me much,” I laughed.

“You’re not even close,” he teased.

“No spiders?”

“Nope.”

“And no radioactivity?”

“None.”

“Dammit,” I sighed.

“Kryptonite doesn’t bother me, either.” He chuckled.

“Hey! You’re not supposed to laugh, remember?”

He struggled to compose his laughter.

After a few moments of silence, I started up again, “I just feel like… this doesn’t feel real. I’m here guessing which superpower you have and it sounds ridiculous, it really does…” I was caught up in thought, not even realizing the words I was saying aloud. “But I know what I saw. I just need a little help feeling a little less crazy here.”

“I wish you wouldn’t try.” His tone was serious again.

“Because…?”

“You say superpower, as in superheroes, but what if I’m not a hero? What if I’m the bad guy?” He tried to hide his remorse with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“No.” He seemed surprised by my remark. “I don’t believe that you’re a bad person. Dangerous, maybe? I don’t know. But not bad.”

“You’re wrong.”

Before I could even respond, the bell had rang, not even allowing me to process my thoughts.

I got up, offering my hand to his. “We’re gonna be late.”

He ignored my offer, gracefully standing up on his own.

“I’m not going to class today.”

“Why not?” I said, trying to hide my disappointment.

“It’s healthy to ditch class now and then.” He smiled, but still had a look of uneasiness.

“Not me. I’m gonna go,” I said. I couldn’t miss any more school than I already did, plus, I was a coward.

“I’ll see you later, then.” I wanted to stay with him. I considered it about fifty times in my head, but once I heard the first bell, my feet moved to its own accord.

As I fast-walked to class, I couldn’t help that my mind wandered to Edward. How none of my questions were answered, how I wasn’t afraid of him, how he thought of himself as a bad person. Only one question had been answered: I wasn’t the only one who felt a mental and physical pull towards him.

Lucky for me, Mr. Banner wasn’t in the class yet, so I hurried to my seat, hearing Jessica and Angela plead to come to their table for ‘deets’. Mike on the other hand looked resentful as he stared at me with his dejected eyes. I hushed them before Mr. Banner finally came into the room, juggling a few cardboard boxes in his arms, ordering Mike to pass them around.

“Okay, guys, I want you all to take one piece from each box,” he said, pulling a pair of disposable rubber gloves from his desk onto his hands. “The first should be an indicator card,” he went on, grabbing a white card with four squares marked on it. “The second is a four-pronged applicator –” he held up what looked to be a nearly toothless hair pick “– and the third is a sterile micro-lancet.” He held up a small piece of blue plastic and split it open. The barb was invisible from this distance, but my stomach flipped.

It happened when I was 12. I always saw my dad watching sports, but no matter how hard I tried, I was never engaged. One thing I did love: tossing around a foam football in our backyard. It was something that I could be a part of, rather than being lost in all the rules and regulations, tossing around a ball with my dad was almost effortless, with either no rules at all or ones that I maliciously made up on the spot. One day, my dad’s hand was far too strong, throwing it far into the woods. Normally, there was never an issue. Either one of us would run over and pick it up because what was the harm? It was only our backyard after all. So, I ran to get it. I found myself wandering a bit too far off than usual, hearing my dad’s shuffling and yells to head back. When I turned to head back, on my left there was a foot in the distance. I ran to it, calling out to my dad over and over to help the poor person who laid motionless in the middle of the woods. But when I reached them, they were far from gone. There was blood, a lot of it. I could hardly stand the gory horror movies with the blood even knowing it was fake. But this was something entirely different. Blood was absolutely everywhere, pooling from the neck. I was mortified. I ran back screaming, fully broken out into sobs as I tried to explain to my dad what I’d seen. That was the first animal attack in years. Ever since then, I’ve had what the doctor’s called ‘hemophobia’. It had gotten better over the years, the only exception being television or movies where I mostly closed my eyes, but physically? Needles and blood draws were a different story entirely.

“I’ll be coming around with a dropper of water to prepare your cards, so please don’t start until I get to you.” I felt like all my senses had heightened. At Mike’s table again, he started by carefully putting one drop of water in each of the four squares. “Then I want you to carefully prick your finger with the lancet…” He grabbed Mike’s hand and plunged the spike into the tip of Mike’s middle finger. Fuck. I felt sweat accumulate on my body, my hands leaving marks on the black countertop.

“Put a small drop of blood on each of the prongs.” He demonstrated, squeezing Mike’s finger till the blood flowed. That was it. The entire room spun around me and I couldn’t move a single inch. The words of Mr. Banner turned into a mumble as the ringing in my ears rang at an uncomfortable volume. I squeezed my eyes shut, attempting to tune out the entire world. A flash of red floods through my vision, not blood, but hair. A fiery red shade that complimented her pale skin and dark lips. She ran through a forest, impossibly fast, never breaking a sweat. Next to her, a man, just as pale as her, blonde with his hair tucked away in a ponytail. Then a third, one with much darker skin, but they all shared the same quality: red, bloodthirsty eyes. Then there’s water. A dock. A boat. Then, blood. Lots of it.

“Y/N, are you alright?” a voice said. I opened my eyes and I was back in the classroom, Mr. Banner hovering over me. What the fuck.

“I– uh– I already know my blood type,” I said in a weak voice, wiping the sweat from my hands on my pants.

“Are you feeling faint?” I nodded in response. “Can someone take Y/N to the nurse, please?” I didn’t even have to look around to know that it was Mike who volunteered to take me.

I attempted to stand, but Mike had practically ran to my side, putting his arm around my waist and my arm to his shoulder, forcing me to lean on him on the way out of the classroom. While he lugged me across campus, my mind was moving faster than my body, which had almost completely shut down from the shock.

“Can we stop for a minute, please? I– I just need to sit.” I yelped out. He brought me to a bench on the side of the building before I begged, “And p-please, keep your hand in your pocket.” I didn’t know what would happen if I saw blood again. I shivered at the thought.

“Bella?” his voice called from the distance. No, please, no.

“What’s wrong – is she hurt?” His voice was much closer, a voice filled with worry?

I didn’t even bother opening my eyes, instead I rocked my body back and forth, knocking my head on the wall, hoping that by some miracle, I was dreaming.

“I think she fainted. She didn’t even stick her finger, I don’t know what happened.” I could hear the stress in Mike’s voice, also the anger. He wanted more than anything for Edward to go away and so did I.

“Y/N.” Edward was inches away from my face. “Can you hear me?”

“No,” I groaned. “Go away.” A chuckle left his lips.

“I was taking her to the nurse,” Mike explained defensively, “but she wanted to stop.”

“I’ll take her,” Edward said. Please, no. “You can go back to class.”

“No,” Mike protested. Oh god, here we go again. “I’m supposed to do it.” Even with my eyes closed, I could picture Mike attempting to stand his ground against Edward, who was probably three inches taller than him. If I wasn’t so mentally and physically drained, I would’ve giggled at just the mental picture.

Suddenly I didn’t feel the bench anymore. My eyes shot upon. Edward had effortlessly scooped me up in his arms as if I weighed nothing at all.

“Put me down!” Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I could hear Mike yelling in the back, but Edward had already strode quick enough to the point where he was only a mumble.

“You look awful,” he said, grinning.

“Edward. Please put me down.” The rocking felt worse. He wasn’t listening, so I settled my arms around his neck to steady my movements. I couldn’t help but notice how much his body had gone rigid.

“So you faint at the sight of blood?” he asked. Yes... and apparently have freaky visions too… I didn’t answer. “And not even your own blood,” he continued, obviously amusing himself.

“Oh my,” I heard a female voice gasp.

“She fainted in Biology,” Edward explained.

Opening my eyes, I found myself in the office with Edward already making his way to the nurse’s door, to which a lady opened for him. Edward gently placed me on the cot, moving only just inches away from me.

“She’s just a little faint,” he said to the nurse. “They’re blood typing in Biology.”

“Just lie down for a minute, hon. It’ll pass.” I nodded in response. “Does this happen a lot?”

“Hasn’t happened in a while.” I couldn’t help, but notice Edward from the side of me, barely being able to contain a laugh.

The nurse faced Edward. “You can go back to class now,” she told him.

“I’m supposed to stay with her.” The nurse didn’t seem to argue with him. How did Edward have such a way with people?

The nurse had left the room to get ice, to which I laid down on the cot, groaning, “You were right.”

“I usually am – but about what in particular this time?” I didn’t have the energy to argue.

“Ditching is healthy.”

“You scared me back there.” His tone surprised me. The way his breath hitched, as if he was confessing his deepest darkest secrets; that he was worried about me. “I thought Newton was dragging your dead body off to bury it in the woods.”

I stifled a chuckle. I tried to imagine poor Mike Newton, anxiety and all, trying to cover up my murder.

“How’d you see me? Thought you were ditching?” I sat up, facing him. Finally, the dizzy spell had passed.

“I was in my car, listening to a CD.” For some reason, it surprised me. So, he was normal-ish?

The door opened, revealing the nurse with an ice pack in hand, laying it across my forehead. “You’re looking better,” she chirped.

“Yeah, I think–” I was interrupted by the door opening, the receptionist had her head peeking through, claiming there was a boy waiting at the door for me.

The door fully opened to reveal Mike, awkwardly walking through the door, glancing from me to Edward, a look of loathe stretched across his face.

“You look better.” I nodded in response. He continued, “So, you ready to go back to class?”

The nurse interrupted before I could reply, “I think it would be best if she stayed. What’s your next class, dear?”

“Gym.”

“Oh my, Ms. Cope here will get a note right out to your class, dear, don’t you worry about that!”

Mike left awkwardly, mumbling, “Feel better. See you at the beach.” before heading back to Biology. I didn’t even realize Edward had left too. I took the time alone to lie back down, placing the ice pack back on my forehead, hoping the ice would numb my mind too.

I felt the cot from beneath me disappear and was once again surprised to see Edward scooping me up in his arms. I yelped, “What are you doing?!”

“Taking you home.” As it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Once we were through the doors, I could feel all eyes on me, both the nurse and Ms. Cope looked at me in admiration. I could feel my cheeks burning red from the embarrassment.

“I can walk, you know?”

“Yep.” I didn’t miss the smirk on his lips, especially when we’d passed Mike, who’d become even more red from the sight of us. Edward simply laughed it off.

As soon as we got to the parking lot, he set me on my feet, leaving us both to walk side by side until we reached our cars.

“You’re enjoying this aren’t you?”

“A little, yeah.” That damn smile.

When I went to walk over to my own car, something caught my jacket, yanking me back.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he asked, his eyebrows completely raised.

“Home?”

“I promised I’d safely take you home. You think I’m going to let you drive in your condition?”

He was right, as much as I hated to admit it. Not even twenty minutes ago I was recovering from a dizzy spell, accompanied by whatever the hell I saw when I closed my eyes. I only asked, “What about my car?”

“I’ll have Alice drop it off for you after school.” He loosened his grip on my jacket, placing his hand on my back to guide me to his car, to which he opened and closed for me once I’d gotten in.

He got into his car and settled his keys in, cranking up the heat. I didn’t even realize how freezing I was until he cranked up the heat, which eventually settled down my shivers. Before we set off, I told him my address. Then, a familiar tune flooded my ears.

“Clair de Lune?” I asked, surprised. When he said he was listening to a CD, I didn’t know what I’d expect to blare from his speakers, but it definitely wasn’t the elegance of Claude Debussy.

“You know Debussy?” He sounded just as surprised as I was.

“From my mom.” I nodded. “She plays a lot of classical music – I only know a couple of my favorites.”

“It’s one of my favorites, too.”

I leaned back into the gray leather seat, watching the rain, and letting the music soothe my nerves. The view outside had blurred completely into green and gray streaks, showing just how fast we were going, but the ride had felt as smooth as ever.

“If you don’t mind me asking… Why are you sensitive to blood?”

“Um…” I paused. For some reason, I felt alright with telling him. No one else had known besides my dad, the doctors, and the occasional therapist. “When I was 12, I saw an animal attack. It was in the woods by my house. There was a lot of blood… and since then, I don’t know… I just freak out.”

“I’m sorry,” he said sincerely.

I let silence invade the space, before mumbling, “Your turn.”

“What?” He looked terrified. As if I’d just asked him to reveal one of his deepest and darkest secrets.

“Tell me something about yourself. It doesn’t have to be as deep and traumatic as mine… What about your family?” I deserved to know even a portion about his life at least.

“What do you want to know?”

“The Cullens adopted you?” I confirmed.

“Yes.”

“Can I ask what happened to your parents?” I didn’t expect an answer. Even after all that I’ve told him, it seemed too overbearing.

“They died a long time ago.”

“I’m sorry.”

He shook his head. “I don’t remember them much. Carlisle and Esme are all I’ve ever known really. I couldn’t imagine two better people.”

“I’m glad.” I continued on, “And your brother and sister?”

“My brother and sister, and Jasper and Rosalie for that matter… they are going to be quite upset if they have to stand in the rain to wait for me.” He chuckled.

“Oh, shit.” I hadn’t even realized we stopped, let alone in front of my house already. “Sorry, yeah, I’ll um– see you later?”

I didn’t get out of the car yet. I wanted to ask him something, even if I ended up regretting it later.

“Did you wanna come with us to the beach?” I breathed out.

A smile littered across his face. “Which beach?” Was he considering it?

“La Push.”

His smile lessened. So I asked, “Something wrong?”

“No, sorry.” His eyebrows furrowed intensely. “I just remembered Emmett and I had plans. Hiking in the Goat Rock Wilderness.”

“Oh,” I said. “Well, have fun.” I tried to hide my disappointment, but I don’t think I fooled him too much. A smile was still spread across his face, almost amused by how I reacted.

Just as I was about to open the door, he said, “Maybe another time. Just the two of us. Somewhere more quiet.” I felt shivers down my spine.

“Y-yeah.” I stuttered. “Thanks for the ride.”

Slamming the door shut, I turned to face him, his smile still radiating even after he drove off.

next chapter

a/n: this one is a lot longer than the others and i had to rely on the book a lot for some of the dialogue, but just some little changes here and there! i hope you all like it!

tags: @measure-in-pain @brekkers-whore @rejectedbimbo @leilanileila

#violent delights #edward cullen x reader #edward cullen x you #edward cullen x y/n #edward cullen fanfiction #robert pattinson #robert pattinson x reader #twilight #twilight fanfiction #twilight rewrite #edward cullen #violent delights fanfic #violent delights fanfiction

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shininglynxie · 1 month ago

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Alright, the 5yl motion comic's new chapter just came out, and it was absolutely INCREDIBLE! I want to share my thoughts and observations with you because I have a lot of them. I know this isn't exactly a topic I covered here and that most people who follow me would be familiar with, but I absolutely love 5yl, and I really wanna talk about this incredible series!

Spoilers for 5 years later, its 11th chapter specifically, below. Go watch it here first, or read my whole post. Maybe I'll convince you to watch the whole thing.

Sorry for the weird crunchy collage images. I needed more than ten images to illustrate my points, so I had to compromise.

As usual, the motion comic manages to enhance the original comic version with the voice acting and other visual additions. Rob's direction and animation work, his and Crystal's visual effects, Noximation's score and everyone's voice acting under the direction of Xander and Kellen are all amazing and on point, as always!

I like the little changes they did to the intro with this and the last episode, too! It makes me feel like I'm watching a TV series with an evolving plot. Really reminds me of watching Omniverse as a kid with all its altering intros. I absolutely love this detail!

I don't know if that happens in the og chapter, but I like that the fact that Portaler was able to warp from Divinity's hold is emphasized here. Hell, Ben even acknowledges this feat himself in the very next scene. This, along with his ability to create unstable wormholes, as showcased in the previous episode, really showcases why Ben put Portaler in the powerhouse playlist. Which is a really important detail to set up, as this is an alien we've never seen before and don't know what he's truly capable of.

Seeing The Void animated was really cool! I'm not sure how this was done in the original comic, but I love the sheer sense of scale they showcase in the top scene here! It really emphasizes how absolutely massive thus alien is! I also love the twisting effect they gave to his dark matter when it's absorbing Big Ben's arm! It's just like I imagined it!

After watching this episode, I realized that I didn't really remember this scene at all from the time I read this comic. I'm glad I was able to properly appreciate it now, as it's quite a nice scene.

What Future Fenton says here is interesting. Obviously, their goal is to help Ben and Danny take down Divinity to rewrite the awful future they come from. With this outcome resulting in Future Fenton's erasure from existence. According to this plan, their fate is predetermined. Or is it? It just makes me wonder what will happen next. Btw, Rob has been absolutely killing it as Future Fenton! He isn't really a voice actor, and he's pulling off some very clean line deliveries! It must be some solid voice direction on Xander's and Kellen's parts!

I really like the exchange that Lula, GoTro, and Crawnch have here. It's a nice scene for them. I like that they discuss their reasons for being plumbers, have a bit of an argument, and in the end decide to help Ben. I like how this scene showcases their characters.

This scene also gave us some incredible surprises!

Just like with the revamped Albedo's ultimates sequence in episode 8, they decided to give us an unnecessary but very welcome Ben 10-themed surprise with all these omni-chimeras. I'd love to break these designs down, but I fear it would be adding way too much text to an already long post. I might do a breakdown of their designs a separate post later. Omni-chimeras are one of the funnest concepts to come out of 5yl, in my opinion, and this scene is definitely making me want to draw some.

I also wasn't expecting to get such a glimpse into the time Future Fenton came from. It seemed to me that Rob wanted to keep their future ambiguous and shrouded in mystery. I love Vlad's tastefully extra ruler outfit with that elegant black and red color scheme and the flaming ctown. (Also, I like how Divinity's outfit references future events)

Getting all these other crossover cameos in such a substantial way is pretty crazy! Especially crazy is the fact that we got proper non-silhouetted cameos of Rex and his brother Caesar, too! The fans have been asking for this for so long, so it's a little hard to believe that their pleas have finally been answered.

Not pictured here, but I love that we get a look at the complete Orion Knight. From what I remember, either the original description of the incomplete Orion Knight concept art on The Ink Tank's website said something about us, maybe, seeing the complete one someday or it was Rob who said it on a stream once. So, this kinda leaves wondering if it was a tease for the motion comic or something else that's still coming later.

A small yet neat detail I noticed here is that Big Ben shoots a strong sonic blast from his Stick n' Slide leg, which matches that alien's abilities. I'm pretty that wasn't in the original chapter, so it's really cool to see!

Now, Full Stop. It was awesome to finally see this fan-favourite alien in motion comic format. I like Aj Beckles' performance for Full Stop! t gives him a very appropriate cool guy vibe. I like how well his powers were showcased here. Everything he holds truly comes to a complete halt. It's great!

Danny's "nightmare sequence" is what i was excited for the most, and I had every right to be. It was AMAZING! The motion comic brought it to a whole new level!

The transition into it was perfect! The drowning that fades into a jarring awakening. It's so good! But it keeps getting better! The beginning of the sequence was also very well done! That part in the og comic wasn't that great, and I always thought it would be better with proper voice acting, and I was totally right about that! Now, I'm not a Danny Phantom fan, but I assume that there were now heart-to-heart reconciliation scenes between Danny and his dad like here in the actual show. I think the fans might appreciate a scene like that, and it's a very nice and tender one in general. I absolutely loved seeing Ash's nightmare Jack creature animated! The zombie Sam scene was so nicely done, too! It was gross eerie in the best way possible! Paxton's delivery during the Ben part was stellar, too! Also, fun fact, but all the aliens Ben erupts into here are ones that Danny had actually seen Ben had used so far. On the topic of voice acting, it was absolutely on point for this entire scene! It truly elevated it to a whole new level! Can you tell that this is my favourite part? Anyways, moving on.

I don't think this scene was in the original comic. I really like it, though! This is some real funny banter between Vlad and Ben!

I absolutely love how Fury Danny's emergence was handled here. I don't remember if those Orion Squad lines on top were there in the og, but regardless, they really helped establish the insane speed at which Danny was flying here. His sheer new might is conveyed perfectly here! That ending scene was perfect, too! The line delivery was very on point once again! This solidifies it as a perfect spot to end this chapter on for me!

Whew. That was probably the longest I've rambled about anything here so far. I just can't help but gush about this project sometimes. I just love it so much, and The Ink Tank always does such a great job with it and their other projects, too! All in all, after all this, I'm extremely excited for episode 12 and the two final chapters! I know, It's going to be something spectacular!

#5yl #5 years later #ben 10 #danny phantom #lynxie's rambles

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descendantofthesparrow · 1 year ago

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POYW Rewrite V2 - Harry Hook x reader - P16 - Epilogue

Uma stared blankly at the busted TV screen of her mother's restaurant, a simmering hatred running through her as she watched Maleficent’s traitor daughter hang onto the king of Auradon’s arm, flushed and smiling-her plum purple hair tied back into a loose bun with her bangs flowing out.

It had been three months already.

Three months since the coronation, three months without a word from her “Friends”, three months without an invitation, three months of watching Harry hold hands with that-new girl-smiling and laughing without a care in the world.

Three months of slowly losing hope that they would keep their promise.

Uma didn’t want to believe they abandoned her, Harry had been her closest companion since they could walk, and Gil never thought twice about following the two around-even if he did drift away sometimes, he always came back.

But…he hadn’t come back yet, and neither had Harry.

It had been three months and Uma was losing hope.

“Honestly, why you even continue to watch this trash is beyond me Uma,” Uma glared at the voice she heard, not even turning her head to look at him. “Fuck off Barbossa,” Uma snapped, but Davy Barbossa only laughed, crossing his arms as he leaned against the table, grinning sharply at the TV, which was still showing King Ben and Mal-who was rumored to become the lady of the court.

“Didn’t Hook ask king beast boy to bring you and his sisters over? Wonder what happened with that plan?” Davy said ‘absentmindedly’, hiding his grin behind his hand as he tapped his nose in ‘thought’, his grin widening as he heard Uma smack down a tray of food she had been holding while lost in thought.

“mm-hmm,” Uma just hummed, not wanting to talk about it, refusing to talk about it to someone she didn’t trust in the slightest. Besides, as far as she knew-things like that took time, she had no clue how long it took Ben to get the first six vks over, for all she knew-it was three months' worth of time to get everything ready.

“Honestly, it’s been three months, I can't imagine things take this long, just to get three people off the isle.” Davy said, still watching the TV, grinning as some reporters captured Harry Hook and (y/n) walking together around school, holding hands. (y/n) flipped them off and Harry laughed, tossing his head back.

Davy turned, seeing Uma staring hard at the screen. She was jealous-she would never admit it, because why would she be? She didn’t like Harry, they were just friends, and she shouldn’t be jealous of some girl Harry was now dating. She and Harry didn’t feel that way about one another, they were just friends, just friends.

It wasn't like they had each other's back since they could remember, it wasn’t like they had been each other's closest companion since they were 2, it wasn’t like Harry had stuck by her through her toughest moments(shrimpy, her broken leg, pneumonia), it wasn’t like they had promised to never betray the other(they had).

Uma didn’t feel betrayed, not at all…not at all.

“If I were you, I would scorn them both and declare war, I’d even help if you wanted it.” Davy said, clearly having been talking for a bit but Uma hadn’t been listening-she never found his words worthwhile anyway. Not when Harry was around, not when Harry would scoff and come up with a better plan, or fire back with quick quips and a sharp grin partnered with his hook.

“Shut it,” Uma finally snapped, having enough of this repetitive talk. This was the 5th time Davy had come into her space to taunt her about her boys, and Harry’s new girl. Davy just chuckled, holding up his hands in defeat, giving another glance to the tv-seeing Uma’s eyes simmer with anger as it continued to show Harry and (y/n), still smiling, still holding hands.

“All right, all right, whenever you're ready to face the fact that they abandoned you, you know where to find me.” Uma glared at Davy as he left the chip shop and she felt a low growl at the back of her throat. She undid her apron and threw it on the table, holding her head between her hands-staring at the tv screen that seemed to finally go from Harry and his girl to Mal and Ben, who were also smiling so sickly sweet that made Uma want to punch them.

It had been three months, and if Uma had to wait any longer-they would regret it. They would regret ever abandoning her.

-end of poyw rewrite 2.0-

Welp, there it is, I feel like there should’ve been more to this-but I’ve really lost my mojo for Harry again, idk; sorry. But yeah, Uma’s mad, feeling abandoned, she wants to believe that she isn’t-but with nothing coming from her best friends, and seeing them so happy without her in Auradon-and a devil whispering in her ear-it’s hard not to fall into darkness without her lights.

permtaglist!

@queer-cosette @sephiralorange @lunanight2012

@daughter-of-the-stars11 @musicarose @rintheemolion

@random-thoughts-004 @anythingbutmar @dai-tsukki-desu

@imtryingthisout @remembered-license @thecaptainsgingersnap

@thetrueghostqueen @littlewierdalien @melonsmysteriousmonarchy

R!poyw v2 taglist!

@reallysparklychaos @tzurue @evilunicorns4minions

#harry hook descendants #disney descendants #harry hook x reader #part of your world #uma descendants #rewrite #harry hook #rewrite revise #final part #now it just goes right into shuffle playlist #i wanted to do more but i had no inspo for this series #part*#i know what i wanted to do but i was just like 'i just wanna get this done'#so i did #i got the vibes i wanted but not the whole scene #just imagine davy being an asshole and overstepping a lot until Uma snaps and becomes captain and make shim her first mate so she can #get revenge on her ex-besties #if you have questions pls do cuz i have so many thoughts about Umas anger but was unable to articulate it

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lookingforhappy · 3 months ago

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considering for my rewrite that umbrella ben should be revived (i have a couple of ideas for this but first..) however i am not a fan of sparrow ben and wondering if i could revive umbrella ben in his place or if this would be a big turn off?

#i am not disappearing as much as i thought but the anxiety is doing shit #tua #the umbrella academy #sparrow ben #ben hargreeves

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lauren-no-why · 4 months ago

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💕🎥💎!!

ok ok while my work computer is tied up crunching away at bird data:

💕 tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!

Oh my god you've given me permission to just go off endlessly on Johnnie, you're a gem.

For the folks reading this who don't already know him, Johnnie Redmayne is an absolute joy. Kid brother to the two current (well, 1967 current) leaders of the World Enders gang, Johnnie is a thrillseeker, a hedonist, the type to leap before he looks, to live with zero regrets, and most of all, he just wants to have fun. There are a lot of implied but not explicit-in-text reasons for this that have to do with the World Enders being centered primarily in East LA, primarily nonwhite and/or of lower economic class, mostly young rebels during an era of counterculture but instead of the white hippie flower child route they're out there causing violence and mayhem and just loving every minute of it.

Anyway, Johnnie is also dead, murdered essentially in a drug dispute, though that's kind of underselling it but I won't rewrite the whole premise of Vide Noir here. But because this is the time and space and cosmic horror fuckery fantasy drug made from the ashes of dying stars and the void between time and space and reality or whatever, he's presumably confronted with some REALLY HORRIFIC things as his mind is slingshotted out into the void where the dead don't so much float as drown as they're fully overwhelmed with whatever goes on out there. And Johnnie? Well - who the heck does this. He's like "uhhh, no thanks! Nope, I hate this, and I'm not going peacefully, death sucks and is boring at best and really really fucked up at worst, so I'mma take a rain check and go back to where all the fun is. Seeya." And now he's a ghost, out making fun of Buck Vernon on midnight desert highways and probably causing a lot of problems for other people because that's way more fun than the alternative.

He's a character who has the potential to be saddled with so much darkness and misery, so much trauma, and I'm sure it's all in there but instead he's not going to dwell on it or make it his personality because that sucks man. He's taken the World Ender ethos to a new level - live your life how you want, die if it kills you who cares, and skipped past the dying normally part right back to the existing for the sake of finding joy in the chaos and destruction and the booze and the ladies and the not being crushed under the heel of cops and an oppressive society but instead sticking it right back to them.

Anyway this kid is hilarious and wonderful and I sure hope he surfaces in the next album and also Eddie Sandstrom is an absolute delight and he better come back to reprise his role even if he doesn't really look 18 anymore I don't really care.

I'm going to stop and move on now even though I really could keep going. Have a pic.

🎥 do you have any favorite scenes from your hyperfixation?

Buddy, it's the Dead Man's Hand scene in the movie, how could it not be. Hey Ben feel free to remake this all you like forever, you're doing great.

Also Until the Night Turns if that counts as a scene, because it does in the movie that plays in my head. Massively underrated song by the fandom, this does so much heavy lifting with the characterization and setting and people need to pay it more attention.

💎 are there any fun facts or trivia that you would like to share?

More! fun! facts! yes let's see. Oh, I think a fun one that's easy to miss is that we actually have an image of Buck Vernon's driver's license and the contents of his wallet. So now you can all know his birth date, height, eye color, etc plus the fact that he keeps SO MANY PHOTOS OF LEE with him. I love this kind of stuff. It's a movie prop that doesn't actually surface in the movie in a viewable form other than I think one of the photos, which is why this isn't on the wiki as not being in the movie itself makes it sort of borderline canon, but it's on the prop designer's website as an example of her work.

#lord huron #ask meme

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madsworld15 · 4 months ago

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New Fic Alert! once you know you can never go back (Brian/Justin)

This one answers the prompt: hogging the blankets (Prompt #19) [13/21 for me personally] for the QaF Prompt Challenge 2024. This is also part of the Diabetes Chronicles series and serves as a follow-up to you're still the one that i love I want to give a shout-out to my discord pals for always reading and supporting my works when they can: @maryp50, @lostcol, and @winderlylandchime

Justin was already in bed by the time Brian finished his paperwork from the latest campaign he was overseeing. After 11 years together in New York, they’d slipped into a well-oiled routine. Most nights, they went to bed together. But on occasion, Justin had to stay up writing lesson plans or grading, or Brian had last-minute rewrites or contract negotiations to go over.

They were inching closer to a new decade of life; for Justin, it was his 40s, and for Brian, it was his 50s. However, a conversation Brian had with Michael and Ben during their visit a few days prior was sitting heavily on his brain. Michael and Ben had adopted Hunter in 2005, had J.R. in 2004, and added another little girl to their family in 2010. Now, their daughter was 7, and the couple had been gushing about how wonderful their lives were. Brian had surreptitiously watched Justin during the conversation and noticed his partner had gone quiet.

The old Brian would’ve ignored the elephant clearly in the room, but Brian had become a much better communicator in the past decade or so. His relationship with Justin grew stronger every year because they were both willing to voice their concerns as they arose instead of waiting for them to fester and create tension. In the early days, the family had always blamed Brian for the lack of communication in their relationship. Still, they always failed to see how much Justin also failed to voice specific desires until it was a mountain of an issue instead of a molehill.

Brian sighed, shut off his computer, and walked through their brownstone, checking each room for stray lights or electronics that might still be on. He quietly opened the door to Gus’ room and checked to see if the teen was still sleeping. Since Brian’s recent hospital stay last month, things have been tense between them. But Justin assured Brian it would eventually blow over once Gus had time to process everything.

Once he was sure Gus was okay, Brian crossed the hall to the room where Isaac stayed most nights. The kid was still living with his parents full time, but at least once or twice a week, he spent the night with the Taylor-Kinneys. Tonight was one such night. Isaac could be found crashed asleep on his stomach with his arms wrapped around the pillow his head laid on. Brian smiled at the young boy, picturing another boy who had used his best friend to escape the stress of his home life.

Finally, Brian made his way to the bedroom he shared with Justin. He took his glasses off and folded them as he approached the bed. Only the lamp on his side of the bed was lit. Justin was turned on his side, facing away from Brian’s side. It was half past 11, meaning his partner was probably sleeping soundly already. However, when Brian pulled his shirt off and tossed it toward the laundry organizer, Justin rolled over with a groan.

“Warn a guy next time. I might have a heart attack waking up to a sight that gorgeous.” Justin mumbled with a lustful twinkle in his eyes.

“I didn’t mean to wake you up. Go back to sleep. I’ll only be a minute.” Brian smiled at Justin as he threw on a white undershirt and slipped off his jeans.

“You didn’t. After almost two decades with you, my body just innately senses when you are nearby and becomes alert.” Justin smiled sleepily up at Brian.

Brian pulled on sleep pants and climbed into bed. He scooted close to Justin and kissed him on the lips.

“Is that so.” Brian whispered, “Does that include all parts?” He gave a mischievous look, his lips tucked behind his teeth in anticipation.

“Bri, I’m half asleep and 34 years old. I can’t just turn things on that quickly anymore.” Justin sighed and tried to act like having sex was the furthest thing from his brain.

Brian’s hand wandered down toward Justin’s crotch and lightly cupped his half-hard dick. “Really? I guess he didn’t get the memo.”

Brian chuckled and then quickly kissed Justin’s lips once again. “I’m kidding. I actually think we should talk about something.”

He then grabbed the blankets and pulled them onto himself and away from Justin.

“Well, first, you can give me back the covers.” Justin grabbed the blanket, attempting to pull it back to his side.

“But, Sunshine,” Brian jokingly pouted, “I’m cold.”

Justin rolled over and wrapped his leg over Brian’s, “Well, I can warm you up. That way, you don’t hog all the covers.”

Brian pulled Justin down into another kiss. This time, their tongues danced in each other’s mouths, fighting for dominance. Even after all these years, Brian and Justin still found kissing one of the most intoxicating things they could do together. It was one of their favorite activities inside and out of the bedroom.

“What did you want to talk about.” Justin finally broke away, giving Brian his full attention.

“I was thinking.” Brian started, but then he stalled, unsure how to start the conversation in the first place. He pulled away from physical contact with Justin, hoping it would help organize his thoughts. Justin sat up and watched him, waiting.

Brian sighed and rubbed his temples. He worried that bringing up the subject after all these years might cause discord in their relationship. Things had been miraculously happy between them for many years. Do I really want to mess that up?

“When we were out to dinner with Michael and Ben the other day, I noticed your expression changed when they started talking about the joys of raising J.R. and Violet.” Brian looked toward Justin, who was sitting stone-still and silent. He reached over and grabbed the blond’s hand into his own.

“You looked like you were sad or like you regretted something. And in the days since then, you’ve been somewhat quiet.” Brian squeezed Justin’s hand. “I’m worried I’ve done something wrong.”

Justin shook his head and gave Brian one of his smiles that didn’t quite reach his eyes, “No, just my brain being stupid. That’s all.”

“Justin.” Brian’s tone was gentle but stern. He needed Justin to tell him what was on his mind. “Whatever it is, we can talk it through and find a solution.”

“It just made me regret all the time we lost out on with Gus. It would’ve been fun to see him discover new things about the world when he was younger.” Justin shrugged. “Told you. Just my brain being stupid.”

It was what Justin wasn’t saying that had alarm bells going off in Brian’s brain. He moved so that he was flush against Justin and pulled the younger man against his chest.

“Justin, do you wish you hadn’t sacrificed having kids by being with me?” Brian’s voice was barely audible. He held back the emotion that threatened to seep through.

Justin is still young enough. He can go somewhere else if he wants kids. Maybe that’s why he’s been distant. Maybe he’s thinking about leaving me.

“I didn’t.” Justin placed his hand on Brian’s chest and drew soft circles there. “Brian, just because I thought I wanted kids when I was younger doesn’t mean I sacrificed that dream by being with you. I just followed a different, more important one.”

Justin placed a kiss on Brian’s chest. Brian tangled his hand in Justin’s hair and rubbed his scalp. He still wasn’t convinced Justin was simply trying to placate him. They’d been down this road before, years ago, where Justin wouldn’t say that he wanted a marriage and a family because he loved Brian so much and couldn’t see a feasible way of having both.

“We broke up before the bombing because I wasn’t willing to give you a family or marriage.” Brian’s words choked their way out of his swelling throat. “So, I’d understand if that conversation reminded you what you gave up.”

Justin positioned himself so that he was supported on his elbows as he hovered over Brian. “Bri, are you not hearing me? I don’t want kids if it means I don’t get to have you.”

“But that doesn’t mean you don’t want them at all,” Brian argued.

“Why are you being like this? Is it because Gus is still upset with you about sleeping with guys outside of our partnership?” Justin looked Brian up and down, trying to understand, “I’m not going to leave you. I love you. We have a commitment to each other.”

“But, you still want kids. Deep down.” Brian wanted to reciprocate the declaration of love Justin had just given him, but he needed Justin to settle his mind first.

“Brian. We have kids, two of them.” Justin pointed out. “Gus lives with us full-time now, and Isaac is practically ours at this point, too.”

“But, you didn’t get to raise a child from the start. I know that’s been in your heart. I see it in your eyes whenever someone you know has a baby.” Brian squeezes Justin’s arm and gazes discerningly into his eyes.

Justin’s eyes widened when he finally realized what Brian was trying to propose indirectly. “Are you seriously telling me you’d consider adding a baby to this at your age?” Justin’s eyes were a mix of shock and teasing.

“I’m not that old yet, and you definitely aren’t too old. If it’s something you really want.” Brian paused, “I’d do anything to make you happy.”

“Bri, I am happy with you, Gus, and Isaac. I am happy being the fun gay uncle to my sister’s and Daphne’s kids. I don’t need a baby to make me happy.” Justin reached out and cupped Brian’s cheek.

“Please trust me on this.” Justin kissed Brian, quickly grabbed the blanket, and rolled away from the brunet.

Brian chuckled and rolled his eyes. He loved Justin more than words could ever express. While his mind wasn’t entirely convinced about Justin giving up children, he could let the issue drop for now. Justin grinned at him and challenged him to reach over and steal the covers back. So Brian did. He turned off the lamp and laughed at himself as Justin adjusted both of their bodies to their typical sleeping position.

They always started with Brian on his back, arms wrapped around Justin, cuddled against his side, his head on Brian’s chest. By morning, they would both be a mess of tangled limbs and pillows, but it was always agreed that their nights would start with intimate touches and gentle kisses.

Once Justin had settled for good, Brian brought his lips to the top of Justin’s head and whispered, “I love you.”

#queer as folk #brian kinney #justin taylor #brian x justin #alternate universe #fanfiction #qaf prompt challenge 2024 #type 1 diabetes brian

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