#i wonder if it's ben's rewrites

[batfleckgifs]

THE FLASH Dir. Andy Muschietti ‧ 2023

[shiphappen-s]

Ok I'm about to say some shit that may or may not make sense. I think it would have been infinitely more heartbreaking if they had gone with a House of M style storyline for season 4 of The Umbrella Academy instead of the bs they did go with.

For those of you who don't know, House of M is a marvel comic storyline. It starts off by showing Wanda Maximoff, one of the most powerful mutants on the planet, having a psychotic break. Her power gives her the ability to warp reality which she used to create her children. She fell so deep into this altered reality that when she learned her children were never actually real, she snapped. She lost control of her ability and killed several of her close friends. Eventually, the most powerful people on the planet have to make a decision whether to kill her or not because she is becoming increasingly difficult to contain. Hearing this, her brother comes and tells her that they're going to kill her. He begs her to rewrite reality, to make a world where all of their friends are happy and they can live in peace. So she does and she gives all of her friends the perfect normal life. For example, Peter Parker has a life where he married Gwen Stacy and his uncle Ben is still alive. Mutants are the higher class of citizen so the X-men are all powerful and loved. Magneto, Wanda's father, is one of the most powerful men in the world. And wolverine is the only person who knows this is wrong. And he, with the help of a little mutant girl who also remembers, gets everyone to remember their old lives so they put the world back. But it's awful, remembering their old lives filled with so much pain. Watching Peter realize that half of his family is actually dead in the real world. That he was finally happy only to have it all ripped away. He was destroyed but then he got fuckin pissed.

Now imagine this with TUA. Allison can't handle Claire and Ray being gone. When she made the deal with Reginald, she had the opportunity to create a new world, to restart and get everything she ever wanted. And in the show, that's what happened, but imagine if she gave all of them what they really wanted. The perfect life.

Luther and Sloane married with a bunch of kids. Sloane is an elementary school teacher, Luther is the school security guard/counselor/gym teacher. Something where he's frequently interacting with the kids. He's always wanted to help people, always felt it was his purpose. He looks out for every kid that passes through those doors, would fight for them and protect them from everyone and everything. He's big and goofy and practically a kid himself too and so all the kids adore him. He has a wonderful life and he feels content.

Diego and Lila are married, they still have their biological kids. But they are also foster parents. Diego knows that anger, that helpless rage of growing up in a house like he did. Lila knows the confusion and pain that comes from losing your family young. Their first foster is Stan and they love him like he's their own. Stan ages out of the system but stays w Diego and Lila, the older brother to their kids. There's never a dull moment, with midnight placements and dozens of after school extracurriculars to attend. Diego has always had an incredibly strong sense of justice. He wanted to be a cop but realized he couldn't be in a dangerous job and be a foster parent. He sees what these kids have been through and he's angry for them, furious even. If he could, he would stab everyone who ever hurt any of his kids, but he can't. He feels helpless and Lila suggests social work. Diego has a normal job, but that itch to be in the action is culled by working with his foster kids, volunteering and helping in areas with high crime, and being a child advocate in courtrooms. Lila loves him all the more for it. Her urge is similar but different. She's still angry, deep down. She loves her kids and her life but she needs a way to get rid of that pain, so she joins a heavy metal band as a drummer. They both have normal boring jobs without any action or thrill, but they're stable and happy. They have both become the people they needed around when they were kids. Their house is full of love and safety and acceptance.

We know Allison's dream life. Her and Ray and Claire. She's happy with them, would do it all again to keep them with her. However, part of her will always be there, in the back of her mind, reminding her that this world is a lie

Klaus and Dave live in a little 2 bedroom apartment together. Klaus is sober, they have an extra room for Ben to stay over whenever he wants. Dave buys cat food for the strays in the alley behind their building and Klaus feeds them every night. They all have names, a group effort between Dave, Klaus, and occasionally Ben. Sometimes Dave goes to the temple for Shabbos services and Klaus almost always tags along. They volunteer at the library and the dog shelter and Klaus picks up art and knitting and writing; anything he can to keep his hands and mind busy. Dave is an army vet turned accountant and Klaus is a barista at a local coffee shop (and a local legend). Klaus has never felt more loved and safe.

Ben is a software engineer at a robotics company. He meets Jennifer, a mechanical engineer, during a company picnic. They hit it off instantly, falling in love quicker than anyone ever imagined. They get engaged after 3 months and married a year after that. No one thinks it will last but they know it will. They have 3 dogs and a cat. They vacation at the beach every year, neither having ever had cause to fear the ocean or what lurks within it.

Viktor lives on a farm with Sissy and Harlan. The quiet, structured life is good for Harlan and Viktor finds himself enjoying it as well. He likes working with his hands, the farm chores and manual labor help him feel fulfilled. Quiet nights by the fireplaces as Viktor teaches Harlan the violin, Sissy sipping her tea as she watches with a smile. They find a school for kids like Harlan nearby and he just flourishes there. He makes friends and gains skills to navigate a scary world and Viktor is so so proud. He gets to watch his son grow up and he couldn't be happier.

Five woke up one day to a life as a professor at a prestigious college where he teaches advanced quantum dynamics and other high level physics courses. His wife, Delores, is a former model and pregnant with their first kid. It's everything he has ever wanted, the life he never dared to fantasize about during the apocalypse. But it's not real. Nothing in this world is real. Five remembers everything. And we, as the viewers, have to watch Five not only turn his back on everything he ever dreamed of having, but he also has to break this dream for his siblings too. He has to tell them that their lives aren't real, their spouses and kids and homes aren't real and they never were. Can you imagine the devastation? That would have been infinitely harder to watch than them just laying down to die imo. And also would give everyone that glimpse of a happy ending only to have it ripped away from them. A chance to bring back all the threads and loose ends that were left in different seasons.

If you've read this far, thanks for coming to my tedtalk lol

[louisetaylor]

TUA SEASON 4 REWRITE

because if you want something done right... *rolls eyes*

In the original single timeline, we got a wonderful season 4 of The Umbrella Academy. I'm here to remind you of your latent memories of the original season 4. Together we can restore it to its former glory. Like a club. We need a name. Call ourselves the Keepers or something similar.

Here's what I know:

Luther is putting work into his (admittedly rundown and condemned) house. It's growing more welcoming with every antique sconce and threadbare thrifted rug. Klaus lives with him, advising him on the finer points of exotic dancing. We see the family visiting. Claire knows where the snacks are. Luther picks up and tosses Lila's kids in the air, trying and failing to learn words in Punjabi. He struggles to move in new furniture, longing for his old strength back, his familiar hairy body.

Viktor owns a bar in Canada. He's proud of it, but despite bantering with the regulars, he isn't close to anyone. He still wants to shout at Reginald (for everything) and at Allison (for everything else). Sometimes the patrons get too loud, and Viktor focuses on the sound of the radio playing in the background, wanting to shout at the loud talkers and knock them off their stools with the sound of his voice. He misses Harlan. He wonders about autism, and why he understood the boy so well.

Diego practices throwing knives in the back yard after the kids have gone to bed. Fed up with being a delivery driver, he briefly considers opening a party planning business, but Lila laughs her head off at the idea, saying he'd explode if she even bought a pinata from the wrong side of town or something. He runs alone at night, slows, stops, bangs his head against a telephone pole in frustration.

Lila spars with Diego in the basement, kendo one night, aikido the next...It vents their anger and relieves their boredom. She has an idea of opening a martial arts studio. When she pins Diego down, they're both visibly into it. She goes away to a book club that might not be a book club, wishing for a bigger world.

The kids aren't just pawns for the plot or for conflict. They're people who ask inconvenient questions. "Where did Mummy learn to fight?" They make up bedtime stories about their parents' pasts. Superhero stories which are eerily close to the truth.

Klaus lives with Luther, sober, germaphobic, plagued by nightmares, afraid of death and love and life because he's seen so very much of all of them. He cooks for Luther, which sometimes turns out well and sometimes not. "Well, it's not the same when you make it without hashish..." When the marigold crashes back into his life, he's angry, and yet he's elated to feel the power back in him, he knows he can't go back to being half dead and unfeeling, he needs to wear something silk and put on some eyeliner and be wild again, as he always really was.

Allison tries out for every commercial in town and spars with her daughter, who's turning out to be a stubborn opposing mirror of her mother. Claire spits uncomfortable truths at her mother like her too-strong influence on others, her lecturing them instead of listening to them, kicking at their weak points. She wonders who she is when she's not acting or rumoring people. Maybe one of these days she'll ask someone for help.

Number Five has been trying to remember his name. He's been working for the CIA because a man's gotta eat, but he clashes with his boss a little too much on account of his smart mouth. He can't help acting like a young man sometimes, because he never really got to be young, feel young, act young. He can't help trying to jump away sometimes. He feels trapped in one place, one time.

Ben just got out of prison. The season starts with him being taken back to Luther's place, being welcomed in by Klaus and offered some cookies that smell suspiciously of weed. He's annoyed by the running laughing visiting kids, but the house reminds him strangely of home. He'll curse Luther out, but Klaus gave him weed cookies, and the kids don't deserve to be scared or upset, do they? He's not a monster, after all.

[ohgeezlya]

READ ME | THE TIMELINE SERIES

I want you to read this before reading the series, please and thank you.

CHARACTERS

Number One -- Luther -Superhuman Strength -Enhanced Resilience

Is able pick up heavy objects without a sweat. Also resilient against any attack after a failed mission. ----+"Spaceboy"+---- "He sent me to the moon for nothing!"

Number Two -- Diego -Trajectory Manipulation

Is able to change the trajectory of any weapon thrown or shot. ----+"The Kraken+---- "Have enough material for your sequel yet?"

Number Three -- Allison -Vocal Manipulation

Is able to manipulate the mind with the words "I heard a rumor..." ----+"The Rumor"+---- "I want to see my daughter!"

Number Four -- Klaus -Commune With the Dead -Self-resurrection

Is able to communicate with the dead, and partially allow the dead to roam as apparitions. Also able to bring himself back to life. ----+"The Seance"+---- "I always wondered why we had an extra room ..."

Number Five -- Five -Time Manipulation/Teleportation

Is able to teleport through space and time either from one place to another or across decades. ----+"The Boy"+---- "I don't know you, despite what you say.

I don't trust you for even a second."

Number Six -- Ben (Dead) - Eldritch Tentacles

Is able to release large tentacles from his stomach . ----+"The Horror"+---- "WEEEEE!"

Number Seven -- Vanya/Viktor -Sound Manipulation -Matter Manipulation

Is able to manipulate sound waves and matter into a physical force. ----+"The White Violin"+---- "I'm glad to have another sister"

Redacted - (Y/N) Clairvoyance Energy Absorption

Is able to see/feel the future and absorb energy/life force with a constant touch. Her body is a host for space and time, whatever happens to the timeline will happen to her. ----+” Timeline"+---- "I signed a contract that cost me...everything."

- I do not own the plot of The Umbrella Academy or its characters; this is purely fanfiction for like-minded people. Remember, if anything that's shown in the TV show and in this book—supernatural elements, violence, blood, death, forced isolation, social ineptness, derealization, and panic attacks—makes you uncomfortable, please click off. Self-preservation should come first before any lame book.

-I will not be descriptive when it comes to the reader, besides the fact that she's intended to use feminine terms. (However, you are welcome to change that to fit yourself) And power related changes to your appearance.

- I also want to say that Viktor will be referred to as Vanya and she/her pronouns until we get to season three. I want to clarify that I am not intentionally misgendering them or dead naming them, I want to keep his progress of figuring out his identity as a trans-man because I believe it to be important.

-My opinion on Season Four is that it was SOOO dogshit that I'll be rewriting it entirely when I get there!YAY, don't you love it when screenwriters and directors shoot their show in the foot?

- Also I accept criticism, I think it would help me with my writing mainly grammar and typos because I'm dyslexic and will fuck up many times. I also love when people comment on my stories because I like interacting with my audience.

- I make sure to write long chapters possibly 1000-4000 words.

- This a slow burn because Five would NOT fall in love at first sight. While on the relationship between Five and the reader, I changed it so that Five joined the Commission at 34 so when Five and you time travel back you both are mentally 34 but physically 14-15 during season 1.

-I also have this book on Wattpad I will be honest and say that this would be much more immersive on Wattpad but I understand that it’s not everyone’s first go-too fanfic app. Account is ‘Ohgeezlya’

Welcome to the commission!…

[rottentiger-art]

I was wondering why people were calling Fran a lesbian, but I rewatched her wedding and realized I had missed the face she made after the kiss. Kinda sad bc I shipped them but not complaining, we thankfully have Ben for bi rep, a lesbian bridgerton would be amazing.

Tho I am surprised they chose Fran instead of Eloise or Hyacinth for it, I wonder how they're going to handle the deal with her seeking another marriage to be a mother and Michael taking on John's title from the books (did women inherited on Scotland back then?), I thought of all stories this one (aside from daphne's) was the one where the gender of the love interest trully mattered. Maybe Fran does not miscarriage when John dies, has a male heir and Michaela moves in to offer support/take over the heir's duties until the baby grows up? It's such a major change, they'll have to essentially rewrite the story, there's so many possibilities.

I'm, personally, sold on the idea of two women falling in love on a castle with enough power to not have anyone telling them what they can and can't do, so I don't really mind.

My only worry is that the fans are not sexist and racist towards the new actress, and they easily were when they thought she'd be Sophie

[justherefortua]

rewrite while changing as little as possible

this is my crack at tweaking some things while mostly working within the bounds of canon, with only 6 episodes, keeping most of the scenes, setting, side characters the same… What would you have changed about my or the original plot’s plan?

Spoilers for all of season 4 under the cut

- first of all. squids. tentacles. body horror with the black goo thingy. fleshy goo monster. decaying the earth. eating the earth up. The antagonist of this season should be THE HORROR, the extra-dimensional creature inside of Ben Hargreeves. This will save money on reshooting cgi scenes plus make it specific to both sparrow and umbrella ben for a Ben-centric season, rather than anyone with Marigold + Jennifer destroys the world

- Maybe it’s made of Durango or something, the antithesis of the Marigold, but Ben’s power is to keep it sealed, and occasionally hold power over it. Maybe it is Durango. Whatever it is, it was made when Abigail made the Marigold, and it seeks to consume and make everyone like it. It exists across all the timelines and over the seasons has become smarter and smarter. Not even Reginald and Abigail can understand or control it—maybe it destroyed their original planet, and snuck into the Reginald marigold release thing and got into Ben somehow. To tie in Season 3, The Hotel Oblivion was maybe built to nerf it/hold it? (I heard this was true in the comics since the hotel was used to keep villians? This could be hearsay, haven’t confirmed.) When Hotel Oblivion got used with the reset button, the protections went too which is why the Horror has more influence and was able to alter the new timeline to have the Keepers and Jennifer to set up the conditions for the Cleanse aka its takeover of the world and all the timelines.

- Jennifer as an agent of the Horror, unknowing or innocent maybe. Or knowing—she already wasn’t normal in that tv squid moment and in the shipping container and as a girl being Truman Showed by everyone else around her. A culmination of everything it’s learned about human nature, a lure of sorts for Ben and the rest of the Academy who generally like to save people. An eldritch horror of a regular girl? That would be so cool, just a normal girl with a normal life until it all turns upside down with the introduction of Hargreeves and Marigold and all that stuff. The acting direction could be good to have her be just a little bit off…

- instead of just Five and Lila, EVERYBODY should get in that subway. The subway is so cool. The other timelines are so cool. No one would be mad at a montage if it’s a family bonding montage. It leaves imagination for the family to grow closer together over a short period of screen time. This could be a whole season in itself and would honestly be a wonderful callback to other seasons and possibilities for the final season.

- AT MINIMUM, I think just adding Diego to the getting-lost-in-the-subway-for-seven-years plot would be amazing. He wants to live larger than life, be cool and rugged, and gets monkey’s pawed. Yeah you’re child-free with your wife doing cool action macho survival things every day but guess what? Subway Rats. He and Lila could hit rock bottom, let out all their anger, and then progressively make up over that 7 year montage and resolve to appreciate their kids, the in-laws, and the life they’ve built together. Alternatively, they could decide that their relationship really doesn’t work out and split up. Either way, it’ll be a mutual decision.

- As for Five, he won’t be going through an apocalypse alone and that is interesting in itself. He could bond more with Diego, find himself losing hope and finding it again, suffer complete burnout but be supported, finally work through Apocalypse-Commission-Handler trauma with Diego and Lila. Face the same choice of going back to The Cleanse (of course Diego and Lila are going back for their kids) or staying in safe Strawberry Land away from everything or until everything ends, true retirement. In the end, I think he chooses family.

- For Lila, I think she’s pretty good and principled towards her family aside from THE THING in the scenes we see her in, I’d like to know more about her family, her relationship with her kids, and develop her relationships with the siblings more as well. We got some moments with Allison as fellow moms, but what about Luther, Ben, and Viktor? I think she needs more specificity on how jarring the switch from assassin life is to family life is. Maybe she can open up in that 7 year montage somehow.

- In at least one of the numerous moments that Klaus died and could have went to the void. A moment with Umbrella Ben is all I ask, acknowledging that Klaus is with Allison and Claire now but also seeing how Klaus has essentially locked himself in and is very afraid of the world. 😭 he’d be so proud of Klaus though. ):: i know he’d punch Quinn in the face so hard 🙏 I’ll leave the aus where he’s totally back for the other than very close to canon rewrites

- Because I actually liked the Five Restaurant scene, I think it would be really meaningful for all those Fives to see a complete whole family and band together to help our Five and our family. Bonus if some of the Fives get hugs and tears and breakdowns because of the horrible apocalypses their siblings and families had to go through.

- this is just an overall thing but I think to help their motivation to save Ben everyone should at least elaborate on their past relationship with him, get to know Sparrow Ben as somebody other than a snarky guy, or make an appeal to him at the end when they’re trying to negotiate, even if it is a mix of Umbrella Ben nostalgia… ok this is getting into wishful thinking territory but i think it would have helped LMAO

- Methinks. I actually liked Luther a lot this season, with the stripper job he seems passionate enough about (yeah my man! own that!) and the run down Hargreeves Boy Home he lives in. (he never left the house… 😭) I feel he should have been given more to do. Maybe bonded with Derek and the non-Keeper people in the CIA, i bet they wouldn’t turn down someone with his powers. Maybe followed Klaus along and absolutely tear the motorcycle bike gang to bits for their not safe or consensual sex work shenanigans in comparison to his job. Maybe bond with Diego’s kids since he and Sloane never got to have kids themselves, a parallel he sets up first episode. Actually help Lila with childcare since she seems to be struggling;;

- Viktor and Reginald were fun. You could also add Luther here and it’d be fun too since they’d both advocate for Ben—Luther in particular was the most inclined to accepting Sparrow Ben.

- actually, Luther and Abigail bonding (she’s very nice and he likes validation) and pulling off a double cross with the Gene skinsuit thing would be a good idea until she double crosses him again with helping along the Cleanse instead of trying to stop it. Betrayed by your dad and your mom YAY

- I realize I didn’t suggest stuff for Allison but I liked her this season with Klaus and Claire, all she needed was to get more one on one scenes with siblings or lila, and that pretty much goes for every sibling i just need them hanging out with other siblings ❤️ actually ideally Sparrow Ben I feel like she’d call him out on stuff and be the one to level with when it came to big mistakes, lashing out, being selfish—and afterwards trying to say sorry and be better moving forward. Maybe she rumors him to stop seeing Jennifer to give more plot room for the siblings while keeping the “I can’t stop thinking about you let’s MERGE” idea but he finds a loophole like the sneaky little weasel guy he is (i love him) or Allison let’s it go in order to let him help her when she’s in danger or something idk

- I also like the keepers, very fun seeing everyday people and places repurposed to just have a bunch of guns. Gene and Jean were great, and Sy, guy pretending to be Jennifer’s dad. Fake Jennifer? Amazing. Bud I loved, what a guy!

- I realize I didn’t suggest stuff for Allison but I liked her this season with Klaus and Claire, all she needed was to get more one on one scenes with siblings or lila, and that pretty much goes for every sibling i just need them hanging out with other siblings ❤️ actually ideally Sparrow Ben I feel like she’d call him out on stuff and be the one to level with when it came to big mistakes, lashing out, being selfish—and afterwards trying to say sorry and be better moving forward. Maybe she rumors him to stop seeing Jennifer to give more plot room for the siblings while keeping the “I can’t stop thinking about you let’s MERGE” idea but he finds a loophole like the sneaky little weasel guy he is (i love him) or Allison let’s it go in order to let him help her when she’s in danger or something idk

- The Cleanse. Sparrow Ben and Jennifer have morphed into Goop Monster. The horror has almost won. It is all powerful, it has taken over everything else. It is just the Hargreeves and them in the former wreckage of the mansion, filling with goop. It fills with goop up to their necks and gets into their brains. All it needs is their Marigold, but they have to give it willingly. Taunt all of them with visions of their birth parents, the normal lives they could’ve had but even better, Luther with Sloane and dog and kids, Diego with Lila and his kids, Allison with Claire and Ray and her hairstylist crew, Klaus with Dave, Five with Delores, Viktor with Sissy and Harlan.

- Instead, family chooses their siblings and also the world. They use their powers at the same time and hold hands with Viktor or something at the center because he deserves to save the world instead of end it, combining Marigold or something in a blast that whites out the screen and presumably saves the world.

- Same sequence of the alternate timelines being destroyed. Same park scenes with all the cameos from previous seasons and the post credit marigold sprouting, except Sparrow Ben and Jennifer are also walking in the park at the end because they are technically also victims of the Hargreeves and the original Marigold fiasco. Boom. They sacrificed themselves. 🙏 RIP the end

OPTIONAL SELF-INDULGENT ALIVE ENDING (because I want them to be happy)

- Umbrella Ben and the family in the void and they get a tearful reunion and group hug.

- Klaus and Little Girl on Bike have some banter before she’s like fine. An exception for you all. She holds out the marigolds since her whole thing is flowers in her bike basket. Klaus gets to save the family yaaay

- Replace the marigold cutscene with a scene of all of them joining the family reunion in the park with Lila’s family and the kids

- Open ending to if they find those perfect lives or not in the reconstructed timeline, (Sloane Sissy Dave Ray etc) but at least they are together 👍

Things That Should Be More Well Thought Out And Go Through Sensitivity Readers And Be Addressed But I Dont Feel Personally Qualified to Address:

- luther and allison after that scene in s3. also the murder stuff but mostly that. delicately executed apology instead of willfully ignoring it

- klaus after suffering very bad relapse and sex trafficking during his arc and also being buried alive🙏 thats a lot.. to handle

- I feel adding Diego to the 7-years-montage plot would make it so that he and others appreciated a healthy weight for him in comparison to going through malnourishment to at least divert the fatphobic jokes a bit?? idk or we could just cut those jokes in general there’s nothing wrong with having a dad bod

- probably other stuff but thats the big ones that stood out to me

[darkwing-katy]

I…can live with that, I guess? Thoughts on Evil’s final episode under the cut (aka SPOILERS)

-I’m sad in general that this show is ending and it will take me forever to recover from this show in the best way

-I guess my dream where I shoved Leland into a bathroom to keep him alive kinda worked???

-the main trio reliving their cases as they burn them was fucking adorable

-I’m gonna miss those girls so much

-the fuck are we gonna do about Lexis???? She seemed normal this season but, like, she had fangs and a tail and was born from a place tainted with demonic stuff. I wanna know how that resolves.

-okay so I guess since Timmy was baptized he can’t be the Antichrist? They were just gonna pivot and make another one? That’s fun.

-the sheer bureaucracy of the online meeting of the 60 had me cackling. “Norm. You’re muted.”

-NORM. IT’S THE BUTTON SHAPED LOKE A LOZENGE poor Leland has to deal with so much shit with these incompetent demons

-“you’ve protected Kristen for four years, Leland.” Uhm. What? He’s been protecting her? Why????? I NEED MORE OF THIS EXPLAINED TO ME????? It can’t just be the whole mother of the Antichrist thing, right???? THERE’S MORE TO IT.

-all things considered, I firmly believe Leland would not have actually killed Timothy. I dunno why; I can’t explain it. But I don’t think he’d do it. Not after that nice little drop of David’s goodness in him.

-Leland putting in earphones while creeping into the house to murder Kristen?? And singing and bopping along in the basement? Iconic. Iconic and adorable. I love him. I have a problem, I know.

-I WAS TRYING NOT TO FREAK OUT WHEN SHE CAME AT HIM WITH THE CORD (“oh shit, guess the bathroom didn’t work after all” was what I told my husband)

-but also the hilarious irony of Kristen strangling him with a red cord like that when that’s how Michael Emerson’s character kills John Locke in LOST???? Like I was stressing but also giggling like a psycho

-the reveal of the meaning behind the countdown was so on point for this show. This fucking show. (What about the bricks, though? Why did they want people to remove the bricks in Kristen’s basement?????)

-DAVID I DON’T THINK LOCKING HIM IN A CABINET IS ANY BETTER THAN STRANGULATION WITH A CORD???? IS HE JUST GONNA ROT IN THERE????

-(okay but all things aside, Leland technically didn’t die on screen and I love to imagine that he was released somehow) (o shit did I just come up with another fic idea????)

-FENNA!!!!!! FENNAAAAAAA!!!! THAT LIL SHOULDER BUMP!!!!!!!

-Kristen’s Dutch counterpart convincing her to move???? Wonderful

-Kristen and David in Rome??? With the girls and Timmy? And cool Italian sunglasses? Wonderful. 10/10. They get to be together but David doesn’t have to choose between her and God. Sure, there’s still sexual tension, but, they’re TOGETHER and not all meaningful relationships have sex as an active component

-BEN SHOULD HAVE GONE WITH THEM AND I STAND BY THIS

-THAT ENDING???? And the fact that Katja decided that was how Kristen should react on the fucking day of filming???? 10/10 no notes, only undeniable curiosity as to what would happen if we miraculously got a season 5

-that cliffhanger is satisfying but also I need a season five. And six. And seven eight nine.

Anywho. That’s, uh, about where I am right now. I’m extremely sad. I ate sushi and ice cream and it helped until it didn’t. I’m gonna continue rewatching the whole dang thing. I’m gonna finish rewriting my Leland fic. I might actually make the shirt I was joking about in an earlier post. Hell, I think the idea of a circle skirt with the map of the different demonic sigils would be amazing. And then I’m probably gonna wanna write more fanfic because I’m still in denial that it’s actually over.

But hey! In my head, Leland is not dead! That’s a win!!! Good job, Dream Kate! You sorta succeeded in protecting your favorite character!

[whatudottu]

If I thought the Transformers (Aligned) timeline was convoluted, god the Trollhunters timeline is fucked beyond all hell, and worse of all because they use Merlin - bloody MERLIN - as a character that created the amulet there's an upper limit of time Trollhunters have existed before, heck even Myrddin Wyllt his welsh name (and canonical alternate name in the show), Merlin stops being the Merlin from human myth and starts becoming Merlin a similarly named folkloric character in troll myth-

I wonder if I, a fan coming in at minimum 2023, am arriving to this a little late but- if this isn't going to be a timeline rewrite then let me complain about how specific canonical details contradict with one another, including the glaringly obvious issue of Wizard's addition to the timeline, making Deya the Deliverer the first Trollhunter and thus practically erasing most of the historical Trollhunters or conforming to fit them all in a timeline of 900ish years.

I'll address the elephant in the room when we get to it, but let's set up the basics, both for me and any viewer not already in the know (given that my audience is mostly from transformers and ben 10, I'd say it's a lot of you).

Trolls and humans got off to a bad start, humans living on the surface and trolls having originated from a realm called the Darklands, accessible from a bridge (a gateway) Kilahead bridge. Like with any civilisation there are good and bad trolls, the baddest being Orlagk the Oppressor, leader of the Gumm-Gumms. Having been introduced to the surface, trolls fought with the humans who already lived on it creating the War for the Surface Lands, and their fighting lead the first Heartstone (a gigantic magical gem that serves as the centre of troll caverns, healing them and providing power) to corrupt and birth Gunmar. This war lasted for millennia, Gunmar taking over leadership of the Gumm-Gumms after slaying Orlagk at some vague point, up until the Battle of Kilahead Bridge where the Gumm-Gumms were sealed away in the Darklands again thanks to the Trollhunter Deya the Deliverer.

Okay, sure, that doesn't sound very bad at first, up until you realise that the Battle of Kilahead Bridge was 900 years prior to the series (2016 was it's release date) and thus in the year 1116 AD give or take; the legend of Merlin as a magician, a wizard, was in the 12th century which would've been instead at minimum 1300 AD that's 200 years of difference. Not to mention Angor Rot - a character and antagonist in the show - came begging for magic to stop Gunmar's armies from destroying more and more independant troll tribes, like his own, in 1200 AD at least. Why in the fucking hell would Angor Rot bother to risk his own soul asking for magic, from a sorcerer known as (among many things) the Eldritch Queen, if Gunmar and his Gumm-Gumms were already kept within the Darklands. Gunmar's son Bular, the one Gumm-Gumm to not be banished, is surely not that much of a threat to not one but multiple villages it would send someone to the doorstep of the Pale Lady. In addition, Angor Rot was responsible for killing at least a few Trollhunters, one known and named being Voltar the Voracious, who was the only Trollhunter given an exact year of choosing in 1578. And the fucker is listed BEFORE Deya on the wiki but that alone doesn't mean anything, however she does die in 1620 to Bular, 396 years before the show.

Alright then, so you look at Merlin's mythological existence and go 'now what about the whole thing about millenia' because 12th century doesn't allow the War for the Surface Lands to have a Trollhunter, even with 11 named Trollhunters that come presumably before Deya (Unkar the Unfortunate, despite being trained by Blinky who in human standards - assuming his human body tells us his age - is probably about middle age give or take, fought in the time Gumm-Gumms were still around even if slain by Bular). Given that Trollhunters itself references Merlin's original Welsh name Myrddin (and his in show last name is Ambrosius, which would be Emyrs in the original Welsh, as opposed to Wyllt for 'of the wild), I thought that potentially looking into when Myrddin first came around I would be able to get a better timeline; Myrddin Wyllt was said to have been born - and not just the legend - in 540 AD, which gives between that and 2016 1476 years to work with, allowing the 400ish years ago that Deya died (and the 438 years from when Voltar had the amulet) and the millenia's worth of war the War for the Surface Lands took.

Done deal, right?

Well guess what, some fucker named Spar the Spiteful (not even the first Trollhunter like Deya so proclaims to be) died 5200 years before Jim, our protagonist and first HUMAN Trollhunter, ever picked up the mantle. 5200 years before 2016 is the bloody fucking 4th millenium BC. This period included the beginnings of the Bronze Age, and was the bloody time WRITING was invented! And in Spar's time, there was no DOMESTIC HORSES! HORSE RIDING DIDN'T BLOODY EXIST WHEN SPAR DIED HOW FUCKED IT THAT!?

God FUCKING DAMN IT!

Fine, I can work with this.

Merlin in the show is all the old man we think of him as in myth, but he's also still old when we go back in time to when the Battle of Kilahead Bridge takes place, albeit it without a full head of grey hairs (how does the old man age more than his teen/young adult apprentice) potentially as a young sorcerer/wizard/whatever they use these terms interchangeably, Merlin or Myrddin created the Amulet of Daylight. You could even give more wriggle room between whenever trolls came to the surface and when Merlin made the amulet, because although Orlagk was a figure explicitly older than Gunmar, there is no mention of an amulet without Gunmar simply a time when he was still not a leader. In fact, given that Merlin's original name - Myrddin - came from a riddle designed with the intent to kill Gunmar, a piece informing the Trollhunter teams how to kill Gunmar rather than Orlagk the original leader, perhaps it's befitting to make Myrddin technically younger than the trolls; given that the original purpose of the Amulet of Daylight was not to kill Gunmar but to protect trolls, seeing as how one of the keys to Gunmar's destruction is a Triumbric Stone (one of 3) that resulted in the death of Orlagk, the amulet can date to before Gunmar and have been made after the Gumm-Gumms took out their rage on other trolls instead of humans alone.

The Trollhunter after Spar the Spiteful was Boraz the Bold, named that specifically for taking on 1000 Gumm-Gumms, was killed by Bular who was - as I said - Gunmar's son. While that does not mean that Spar the previous Trollhunter existed before Bular did, it does mean that by the time Boraz was selected after Spar's position Bular was competent enough to slay a Trollhunter, especially one as 'Bold' as Boraz who felled a thousand Gumm-Gumms before falling to 1001. It would mean that his father Gunmar would be much older, potentially tracking further and further back in time and putting Orlagk's death deeper and deeper into the War for the Surface Lands, potentially even aligned Orlagk's death and the Triumbric Stone's creation to a period humans heard of Myrddin, the death of Orlagk potentially landing in 540 AD, perhaps even in 573 AD where an actual battle took place, the Battle of Arfderydd; this details a Riderch Hael, King of Alt Clut (Stratclyde, a Brittonic kingdom in northern... well... Britain, which got annexed in the 11th century AKA 1000 AD to become part of the emerging Kingdom of Scotland) slaughtering the forces of a Gwenddoleu ap Ceidio, Myrddin having gone mad watching that defeat.

The remaining named Trollhunters, ones that weren't explicitly dated and timed, are in a bullshit order on the Wiki that I just have to piece together what is being said to put together a timeline.

Maddrux the Many, he/him in the show and she/her in the comics, was canonically an active Trollhunter before another, Araknak the Agile, was either born or an actual functioning adult; Araknak is the ancestor of the previously mentioned (and assumed to be) middle aged Blinkous Galadrigal and his brother (an older brother or twin depending on who you quote) Dictatious Maximus Galadrigal, the pair being present for the Battle of Kilahead Bridge and still alive by 2016 and idk about Tatious but Blinky appears in 2017 or at least whenever RoTT takes place. To use the term ancestor instead of grandparent or even parent, which technically ancestor can be used on either anyway, means that the exact family history is undetermined. However, we can place Maddrux at the very least on the timeline where Orlagk was still active in, seeing as that was her major enemy in the comics.

At the end of her service instead of going directly to Araknak, a Trollhunter preceded him in Magmar the Molten, the only known mountain troll to be a wielder of Daylight. Interesting to note, Araknak learnt from Magmar a certain combat move so, even before his selection by the amulet Araknak was already preferring the lifestyle of a warrior in comparison to his scholar parents; a trait that outlasted the warrior spirit and descended to the Galadrigals however many years later. Mentioned specifically as preceding not only Araknak but Tellad-Urr, we have another date to place as Tellad-Urr the Triumphant - very soon to be Tellad-Urr the Terrible - was active until 501 CE where Orlagk was still alive; how convientient. It helps that Gogun the Gentle - his immediate successor - would be the only Trollhunter to die of old age, potentially because Gunmar was too busy killing Orlagk and Orlagk too busy being dead for either of them to do anything.

Hopefully Gogun was already an old fart because the oldest recorded troll Chokeenamaga lived to 5352 years and I have no idea if that's slightly above average, notably old, or specific to a troll type (like for example, mountain trolls may have the longest average lifespan of all trollkin), and it's not like I can look at the show for any reference because Draal the Deadly, son of Kanjigar the Couragous and the previous Trollhunter did not age between 900 years yet there are no troll whelps in modern Trollmarket, let alone the fact that the Battle of Kilahead Bridge according to our established Trollhunters could not have happened before 1578 but must have happened between then and 1620. And Draal is an adult in modern day but is rather impulsive and I do not know if that is simply a troll trait or the trait of a twenty something year old that should've had a different design in the past but couldn't because of the limitations of 3D show animation (Prime fans would know or at least see visually that you can't just design a cybertronian version of a bot's root mode without things getting expensive, it's why Skyquake couldn't fly despite looking the same before and after alt mode acquisition).

Speaking of age, this is also the time where Aaarrrgghh!!! was a teenager, which either means that Blinky is actually much younger than Aaarrrgghh!!! or there is another Trollhunter or few between Araknak the Agile and Tellad-Urr the Terrible; 5200 years is a lot of grounds to cover, especially with a Trollhunter dying of age between it. Tellad-Urr has an appearance similar to Kanjigar, and given that it's a book cover rather than a 3D model there may be grounds for him being of the same tribe as Kanjigar if not an ancestor like Araknak to Blinky. It could work give or take, especially since 'ancestor' is less of an official word and more of a footnote for someone's opinion, but it isn't word of god nor anything found in any media.

And keeping with age (last one I promise) Gorgus the Gorgeous, referenced in terms used by modern trolls 'By Gorgus' or 'Great Gorgus', was one of the youngest Trollhunters to be chosen. Whether he was younger than Jim Lake Jr, 16 years old at his time of getting the amulet, depends on what the hell the age of 24 fucking means to a troll. Is it the equivalent of 24 years in troll years? If so then why the hell does he begin training 32 troll years later at age 56 if he wasn't chosen to have the amulet at 24 human years old. What is 24 human years to a troll. NotEnrique, a changeling (troll whelp cursed to change into a human, can do so at will) is canonically a few centuries old, and he is fresh from the Darklands after replacing a human baby Enrique. He at a few centuries old is able to throw and host a troll party at his age, and maybe changeling's age differently and a changeling hosting a troll party would be very new because haha discrimination, but no troll flinches at the concept. And a few centuries could be considered more than 2 (being a few it's already more than 1) so the more centuries you tack on to this college type frat party host the more and more Gorgus' age becomes terrifyingly young like exorbitantly so.

If a few centuries means 'ability to host a party where full grown trolls do keg stands' then 24 probably means whelp, baby, a fucking toddler by troll standards, assuming changelings follow troll aging standards against their human mimicking physical development standards. If a 24 year old Trollhunter is only ONE OF the youngest Trollhunters, who was the youngest? Predestined at bloody birth!? Gorgus started training at age 56, presumably when he was old enough to wield a sword, being trained by none other than Kanjigar himself; Gorgus died during training when a group of Gumm-Gumms attacked, an arrow hitting him in the head. If NotEnrique was an adult, or at the very least on the cusp of it, at a few centuries old - more than 1, probably more than 2 - then what of someone at age 56, less than a few centuries, less than one. Whether Kanjigar was a father at the time or not, loosing a kid under his guidance - to death no less - would've stuck with anyone. Why was this child sentenced to death, and so young too. One can argue all the Trollhunters to failed to live up to legacy, who became their own version of Unkar the Unfortunate, were sentenced to death and fated to die young. Gogun may have defied fate and beat the ticking clock, but Gorgus the Gorgeous - a gorgeous child, a son to parents that will never see their little boy again - proved that there is no outrunning the clock for the bells toll for thee.

If Unkar was before Gorgus, then it is to be presumed that by dying on his first night - after 6 hours of training - that Gorgus the Gorgeous was failed by Blinkous in the same way Unkar had been. The next Trollhunter in line was summoned too soon, so because of Blinky's failure the trolls against Gumm-Gumms were without a defender, potentially reducing the remaining candidates for better trainers by slaughtering them before the Trollhunter was of age. If Unkar was after Gorgus, then Kanjigar needed to step away from training, even as it was his task given to the aging elder Rundle, potentially a younger but very busy Vendel, an elder by proxy of everyone else dying on the edges of Gumm-Gumm blades. He couldn't sacrifice another child to death, and as the amulet falls onto the arrogant overconfident Unkar, Kanjigar could not bare to have stone dust on his hands again. Blinkous Galadrigal (there is no mention of Dictatious despite the presence of Gumm-Gumms in Unkar's time) is tasked to train Unkar, to teach him the tennants of Trollhunter and put to good use his scholarly teachings and pray that the soul of his Trollhunter ancestor guides him. Unfortunately - as Unkar will be enshrined in by title - you cannot let a scholar do a warrior's duty.

However way it plays out, Blinky was young (or at least younger), and his failure marked his reputation for centuries.

There is a Grimbald the Grave, trained with Kanjigar AND Deya, which would definitely place that before 1620 and potentially before 1578; Voltar wasn't mentioned to have been trained by either, but given that he was the last Trollhunter before Deya (at the very least in close proximity), Grimbald most likely came before. Now this seems like a non-issue, if you consider Grimbald against our timeline nothing seems to be wrong, potentially Kanjigar's age since he's been around for a while but his son's an adult in the modern day so he could potentially be older than Blinky who knows. But I have an elephant to address and since it's been so long since I brought it up it's been drinking tea this whole time.

Wizards, the third installment of the Tales of Arcadia series, sequel to Trollhunters, introduces to audiences that Deya the Deliverer was originally Callista the Calamity, a troll who's tribe had been wiped out by humans and had been living in human custody since she was a whelp (or of an age that she had forgotten her name). Deya makes the timeline such a mess, because her first appearance in the comics, she was of an age where Rundle - Vendel's father - was the elder of Glastonbury Tor Trollmarket at the time of Deya, the Trollmarket before Dwoza which is the Trollmarket before Arcadia. Rundle was around in 501 AD, but it was his father Kilfred who was the elder and his son Vendel was of age enough to help in consulting, however old that is. In Wizards however, Vendel was the elder of Dwoza before Deya was Deya and when Callista was still an outcast, and even then he was only the elder by proxy, signs of his father Rundle or of Kilfred missing. Of course however Rundle could have been elder of Dwoza, as his father before him was elder of Glastonbury Tor, simply that he was potentially slain potentially died of old age and that Vendel being one of the few older than most of the Dwozan trolls took over in his father's stead.

The issue with Deya is that I really like the Callista part of her backstory, of being an outsider, an outcast, in the world of trolls that still hated humanity but held a deeper fear of the Gumm-Gumms. Diaspora for trolls, Callista the Calamity is seen as a human pet despite her wanting to find her way home, a home she can never go back to because it had been destroyed long ago; the one place that she could be accepted don't because they see her as too human, a far cry to being called a monster by humans but certainly not relieving. But she had become Deya, and found her footing as the Deliverer, by turning the Trollhunter from a single force to fighting alone to rallying a bunch of... gravellors? (Whatever, I like to think of Dwoza as essentially a refugee tribe given it's diversity in comparison to the Krubera tribe who are only krubera and the Quagawump tribe who are only - save for the generic troll king Angor killed - quagawumps) to fight one last fight against the Gumm-Gumms and ending the War for the Surface Lands.

...SO... that probably means that Grimbald was trained exclusively by Kanjigar after the whole Unkar and/or Gorgus ordeal and eventually got the Trollhunter's amulet himself when Deya was slain, her sacrifice delivering the migrating trolls of Dwoza a chance to get to the New World (or the Americas). Oh and their migration was after Vendel and some king wrote a truce called 'The Pact', which - I mean - it's described as a feeble truce and with a name like that I don't blame it, where they promise to stop eating humans and limited their diet to cats and used clothes which well- they might've broke on the journey to the New World because hiding in the cramped ballast of a 1600s era boat isn't fun nor is it fast. But regardless-

I think for a sense of cohesion, let me pull out an almost timeline for this post.

Trolls who had previously been in the Darklands somehow get to the surface

Tensions between trolls and the already present humans grows beginning the War for the Surface Lands

The intensity of the war corrupts the first Heartstone, giving birth to Gunmar

A young wizard Myrddin creates the Amulet of Daylight and gifts it to the good trolls

Spar the Spiteful gets the amulet. He dies 5200 years ago

Boraz the Bold gets the amulet. He dies to Bular, Gunmar's son.

Maddrux the Many gets the amulet

Magmar the Molten, the first mountain troll Trollhunter, gets the amulet

Araknak the Agile, ancestor to Blinkous and Dictatious Galadrigal, gets the amulet

Tellad-Urr the Triumphant, turned Tellad-Urr the Terrible, gets the amulet. He is killed in 501 AD

Gogun the Gentle gets the amulet.

Orlagk the Oppressor is slain by Gunmar. Gunmar loses an eye

Gogun dies of old age.

Angor Rot makes a pact with the Pale Lady, trading his soul for her magic

Unkar the Unfortunate gets the amulet. He dies 6 hours later

Gorgus the Gorgeous, one of the youngest Trollhunters, gets the amulet. He dies at age 56

Grimbald gets the amulet

Voltar the Voracious, born of two minds, gets the amulet in 1578. He dies to Angor Rot and his soul is stolen

Deya the Deliverer, previously Callista the Calamity, gets the amulet

The Battle of Kilahead Bridge is fought. Gunmar is defeated and the Gumm-Gumms (+ Dictatious Galadrigal) are trapped in the Darklands

Deya dies against Bular, last remaining Gumm-Gumm on the surface, in 1620

Kanjigar the Couragous, trainer of many Trollhunters, gets the amulet. He dies to Bular in 2016

James Lake Junior gets the amulet, and the events of the series take place

So, members of the Trollhunter fandom, how'd I do? If you stuck around this long, welcome to my gimmick, long posts :)

Hoo boy how should I tag this?

[irrevocableloves]

violent delights

twilight rewrite! edward cullen x fem!witch!reader

chapter five: blood type

previous chapter ౨ৎ masterlist ౨ৎ chapter six

summary: edward gives in, no matter the efforts it took to keep himself away from her.

warnings: swearing, fluff, blood, gore

words: 4.9k (unedited)

Throughout the entire night, Edward’s words replayed in my mind. It's better if we're not friends. What did that even mean? That he wanted to? That he felt this pull just as I did, but was too afraid to embrace it? Or was it just me? My stomach twisted. He must’ve noticed how engrossed I was by him and didn’t want to lead me on. Perhaps he was a mind reader. Oh god. The pathetic thoughts I’ve had towards him… I was considering it.

Normally, it was so easy for me to read people. For all my life, I was able to take in someone's thoughts from just their expressions whether it was genuine or forced. I knew someone was so annoyingly obsessed with me or completely hated my guts. Lauren wasn’t even a good example, anyone could see right through her act even though she tried to hide it with fake smiles and interactions. She didn’t like me and even the entire school could catch onto that. My dad always wondered if I could hear his thoughts because of how in tune I was with his emotions. He was closed off, which was part of the reason him and my mother ended things, but for me? I could always see right through him and know exactly what to say to him. But, Edward on the other hand? He drove me absolutely insane.

My thoughts were thankfully interrupted by a buzz on my cell.

jess <3: Mike said YES!!!!

And then an immediate call afterwards.

Jess had me on the phone for almost an hour talking about Mike, the dance, Angela and Ben, and then of course, the so-called ‘tension’ she felt with Edward and I. But, I quickly changed the subject to shopping for dresses which kept her occupied for another hour.

Finally, she hung up and I went onto doing homework and answering emails from my mom before eventually passing out.

Turning into the school lot, I made sure to park even farther than usual from his Volvo for my own sanity. Getting out of my car, I realized I’d left my keys and yanked it out a bit too swiftly, the keys flying into a puddle just outside my car. As I bent down to get it, a white hand swooped in and grabbed it, causing my jerk upright. I looked up, seeing Edward Cullen casually leaning on my car, my keys just dangling in his hands for me to take.

“How the hell do you do that?” I ask with an exasperated huff.

“Do what?” He held out my keys for me and I snatched them. He gave a light-hearted chuckle.

“Appear out of thin air.” I spat out.

“Y/N, it’s not my fault that you’re exceptionally unobservant.” 

I didn’t want to have this conversation again. I was tired of it. Instead, I walked past him. This time not even bothering to serve him a glance towards his way, no matter how much I wanted to.

To my surprise, he jogged towards me.

“So, why the traffic jam yesterday?” I huffed. “Thought you were supposed to be pretending I don’t exist, not deliberately annoying me.”

He gave a light chuckle. “That was for Tyler’s sake, not mine. Seems like he wanted a chance with you.”

That’s when I finally faced him, finding the urge not to hit his perfect face or perfect anything for that matter. “You’re fucking kidding.” He only seemed amused by my response.

“And I’m not pretending you don’t exist.”

“Oh, really? So you’re trying to annoy me to death? What? Since Tyler’s van didn’t do the job?” This anger was new to me. Usually, things didn’t bother me this much. But, Edward was different.

I expected anger from him as usual, but he only looked down at his feet, before muttering, “Y/N, that’s not–”

“I don’t care. Can you just leave me alone? Please? I just can’t keep up. One minute you're angry and the other you're consoling me. Your mood swings are giving me whiplash.” I interrupted him, not daring to look him back in the eye.

Silence followed, which was my que to head off to English.

I hadn’t realized class started by the time I walked in, Mr. Mason gave a huff with a “Thank you for joining us, Miss Y/L/N.” I headed to my seat in a rush. 

The entire class, I spent the majority of the time zoning out, thinking about what Edward had said. It wasn’t until class ended that I realized the seat next to me wasn’t occupied by the usual Mike, who would whisper my ear off for a straight hour. The silence was quite nice, but it worried me a bit. Once we all walked out of class, Mike’s spirits seemed to have lifted somehow as Eric mentioned the beach trip. Even with your sixteen years living here, it amazed you how Jess and the boys enjoyed surfing in this weather. No matter how much you favored Forks, California sure had Forks beaten with beaches. Most of the beach trips at Forks consisted of Angela and I waddled up in blankets at the back of Tyler’s van and watching movies off of one of my old DVD players.

The rest of the morning passed in a blur. Now, it was lunch. With my shaking nerves, I attempted to keep all my focus on Jessica’s babbling instead of searching for those golden eyes. I could hardly keep up with her pace as she rambled on about the dance plans, even convincing Angela to ask out Ben. I couldn’t help but wander my eyes towards his table. He wasn’t there. His four siblings sat in their usual spots, the only one with eyes on me was the one with a pixie-cut, Alice, with a slight smile curving on her lips.

“Edward is staring at you again,” Jessica said. I broke eye contact with Alice, bringing my attention towards Jessica. “I wonder why he’s sitting alone today.”

I followed her gaze from across the classroom. There he was. Edward. His crooked smile widening once he’d caught my attention. Suddenly, I’d lost my appetite. He waved his fingers towards me, motioning for me to join him, then a wink. Fuck.

“Does he mean you?” Jessica’s voice staggered. I’d forgotten we weren’t the only people in the room for a moment. “Told you he was into you.” she whispered, fighting through her giggles. I swore he heard that asI saw him fight a chuckle.

I shoved Jessica with my shoulder, hesitantly walking towards Edward with Jessica’s giggles in my rear view. When I reached the table, I didn’t sit, instead I stood behind the chair waiting for him to speak.

“Why don’t you sit with me today?” he asked, smiling. I eyed the chair, pulling it opening and sitting on the edge of it. His smile felt unreal, as if it was another ploy to reel me in again and push me away just as hard.

“Thought you didn’t wanna be friends?” I questioned.

“I said it would be better if we weren’t friends, not that I didn’t want to be.”

“What does that even mean?” I couldn’t read him. Why put so much effort into someone he hardly even knew? Why was I doing that?

“It means if you were smart, you’d stay away from me.” I tried.

“Haven’t I tried that already? You’re the one who wanted me here.”

“Well, I’ve decided to hell with it. As long as I’m going, I might as well get to know you better.”

“Hell? Now you’ve just expanded my theories.” I had none. No logical ones at least. I couldn’t even think them, let alone say them out loud, it was too bizarre.

“Oh, really? Won’t you tell me then?” he asked, tilting his head to the side with a tempting smile.

“Nope.” I shook my head, giving him a malicious smile.

“That’s really frustrating, you know?” So was he.

“Well that’s too bad.” I snickered. I decided not to make a scene, I could’ve bursted to him about the many ways he’s frustrated me. For starters, him being absolutely disgusted by me, ignoring me, then suddenly being enamored by me, then saving me, then ignoring me again, then suddenly he wants to get to know me? But, I wasn’t about to let the entire cafeteria know my frustrations with him.

“Fair enough.” He chuckled, then moved his gaze towards my original table. “I think your friends are angry with me for stealing you.”

I looked towards them. Angela and Jessica wore the same attitude: smiles and a fit of giggles. Lauren was angry as always, forcing herself closer to Tyler as he watched Edward and I with careful eyes. Eric pretended he wasn’t looking at all. Mike on the other hand, thankfully Jess hadn’t noticed, was burning holes at the back of Edward's head.

“They’ll survive.”

“Your boyfriend seems to think I’m being unpleasant to you – he’s debating whether or not to come and steal you away from me.” My face fell.

“He’s not my boyfriend.” I mumbled.

“He sure acts like he is.”

“Yeah, well that’s not my problem.”

Our table fell silent for a moment, until he spoke, “Aren’t you hungry?” No. I was full of nerves.

“No,” I said plainly. “You?” I knew what the answer was. It was embarrassing how attentively I watched him. He had food and he nibbled at it, but he never once ate. Same with his family. Emmett always carried a large amount of boiled eggs for whatever reason.

“Can you do me a favor?” I breathed out, hesitant to even say anything at all.

“Depends on what you’re asking for.”

“Not much…” He waited for my response. “What is this? What are we doing? Are we friends? Cause I don’t wanna waste my time if you’re just gonna ignore me again.”

“I told you – I got tired of trying to stay away from you. So… I’m giving up.” His smile was almost contagious, but I can see the pained look in his eyes.

“Giving up?”

“Yes, giving up. I’m not good for you, I know that. But, for some reason, I can’t seem to stay away from you.” He said softly. My breath hitched. I can’t seem to stay away from you. So, I wasn’t the only one.

“So…” I breathed in. I could hardly even bring myself to speak. “Friends?”

“Only if you tell me one of your theories.”

“Maybe later. Too many people around.”

He’d gotten up, I assumed that he’d wanted to leave. Instead, he moved his arm in front of himself, gesturing for me to go in front of him. “Lead the way.”

“You can’t be serious.” I laughed. The entire cafeteria’s eyes were on us, even his siblings and the stare they wore seemed unwelcoming, besides Alice, who tried her hardest to not break out into a smile.

All he did was give me another famous smirk. I practically jumped out of my seat, feeling all eyes on me as Edward and I left the cafeteria. We walked until no one was in sight, leading me to the back of the school on a hillside.

“Now, just one theory – I won’t laugh,” he said, plopping himself down in the grass.

“Yes, you will.”

“Please?” he breathed, leaning towards me.

I froze. My mind had gone completely blank. It took me a minute to recuperate before responding, “It’s dumb. I–I don’t know? Bitten by a radioactive spider?” It didn’t even sound better in my head at all.

“Well that’s not creative at all,” he scoffed.

“Well that’s all I’ve got. You haven’t given me much,” I laughed.

“You’re not even close,” he teased.

“No spiders?”

“Nope.”

“And no radioactivity?”

“None.”

“Dammit,” I sighed.

“Kryptonite doesn’t bother me, either.” He chuckled.

“Hey! You’re not supposed to laugh, remember?”

He struggled to compose his laughter.

After a few moments of silence, I started up again, “I just feel like… this doesn’t feel real. I’m here guessing which superpower you have and it sounds ridiculous, it really does…” I was caught up in thought, not even realizing the words I was saying aloud. “But I know what I saw. I just need a little help feeling a little less crazy here.”

“I wish you wouldn’t try.” His tone was serious again.

“Because…?”

“You say superpower, as in superheroes, but what if I’m not a hero? What if I’m the bad guy?” He tried to hide his remorse with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“No.” He seemed surprised by my remark. “I don’t believe that you’re a bad person. Dangerous, maybe? I don’t know. But not bad.”

“You’re wrong.”

Before I could even respond, the bell had rang, not even allowing me to process my thoughts.

I got up, offering my hand to his. “We’re gonna be late.”

He ignored my offer, gracefully standing up on his own.

“I’m not going to class today.”

“Why not?” I said, trying to hide my disappointment.

“It’s healthy to ditch class now and then.” He smiled, but still had a look of uneasiness.

“Not me. I’m gonna go,” I said. I couldn’t miss any more school than I already did, plus, I was a coward.

“I’ll see you later, then.” I wanted to stay with him. I considered it about fifty times in my head, but once I heard the first bell, my feet moved to its own accord.

As I fast-walked to class, I couldn’t help that my mind wandered to Edward. How none of my questions were answered, how I wasn’t afraid of him, how he thought of himself as a bad person. Only one question had been answered: I wasn’t the only one who felt a mental and physical pull towards him.

Lucky for me, Mr. Banner wasn’t in the class yet, so I hurried to my seat, hearing Jessica and Angela plead to come to their table for ‘deets’. Mike on the other hand looked resentful as he stared at me with his dejected eyes. I hushed them before Mr. Banner finally came into the room, juggling a few cardboard boxes in his arms, ordering Mike to pass them around.

“Okay, guys, I want you all to take one piece from each box,” he said, pulling a pair of disposable rubber gloves from his desk onto his hands. “The first should be an indicator card,” he went on, grabbing a white card with four squares marked on it. “The second is a four-pronged applicator –” he held up what looked to be a nearly toothless hair pick “– and the third is a sterile micro-lancet.” He held up a small piece of blue plastic and split it open. The barb was invisible from this distance, but my stomach flipped.

It happened when I was 12. I always saw my dad watching sports, but no matter how hard I tried, I was never engaged. One thing I did love: tossing around a foam football in our backyard. It was something that I could be a part of, rather than being lost in all the rules and regulations, tossing around a ball with my dad was almost effortless, with either no rules at all or ones that I maliciously made up on the spot. One day, my dad’s hand was far too strong, throwing it far into the woods. Normally, there was never an issue. Either one of us would run over and pick it up because what was the harm? It was only our backyard after all. So, I ran to get it. I found myself wandering a bit too far off than usual, hearing my dad’s shuffling and yells to head back. When I turned to head back, on my left there was a foot in the distance. I ran to it, calling out to my dad over and over to help the poor person who laid motionless in the middle of the woods. But when I reached them, they were far from gone. There was blood, a lot of it. I could hardly stand the gory horror movies with the blood even knowing it was fake. But this was something entirely different. Blood was absolutely everywhere, pooling from the neck. I was mortified. I ran back screaming, fully broken out into sobs as I tried to explain to my dad what I’d seen. That was the first animal attack in years. Ever since then, I’ve had what the doctor’s called ‘hemophobia’. It had gotten better over the years, the only exception being television or movies where I mostly closed my eyes, but physically? Needles and blood draws were a different story entirely.

“I’ll be coming around with a dropper of water to prepare your cards, so please don’t start until I get to you.” I felt like all my senses had heightened. At Mike’s table again, he started by carefully putting one drop of water in each of the four squares. “Then I want you to carefully prick your finger with the lancet…” He grabbed Mike’s hand and plunged the spike into the tip of Mike’s middle finger. Fuck. I felt sweat accumulate on my body, my hands leaving marks on the black countertop.

“Put a small drop of blood on each of the prongs.” He demonstrated, squeezing Mike’s finger till the blood flowed. That was it. The entire room spun around me and I couldn’t move a single inch. The words of Mr. Banner turned into a mumble as the ringing in my ears rang at an uncomfortable volume. I squeezed my eyes shut, attempting to tune out the entire world. A flash of red floods through my vision, not blood, but hair. A fiery red shade that complimented her pale skin and dark lips. She ran through a forest, impossibly fast, never breaking a sweat. Next to her, a man, just as pale as her, blonde with his hair tucked away in a ponytail. Then a third, one with much darker skin, but they all shared the same quality: red, bloodthirsty eyes. Then there’s water. A dock. A boat. Then, blood. Lots of it.

“Y/N, are you alright?” a voice said. I opened my eyes and I was back in the classroom, Mr. Banner hovering over me. What the fuck.

“I– uh– I already know my blood type,” I said in a weak voice, wiping the sweat from my hands on my pants.

“Are you feeling faint?” I nodded in response. “Can someone take Y/N to the nurse, please?” I didn’t even have to look around to know that it was Mike who volunteered to take me.

I attempted to stand, but Mike had practically ran to my side, putting his arm around my waist and my arm to his shoulder, forcing me to lean on him on the way out of the classroom. While he lugged me across campus, my mind was moving faster than my body, which had almost completely shut down from the shock.

“Can we stop for a minute, please? I– I just need to sit.” I yelped out. He brought me to a bench on the side of the building before I begged, “And p-please, keep your hand in your pocket.” I didn’t know what would happen if I saw blood again. I shivered at the thought.

“Bella?” his voice called from the distance. No, please, no.

“What’s wrong – is she hurt?” His voice was much closer, a voice filled with worry?

I didn’t even bother opening my eyes, instead I rocked my body back and forth, knocking my head on the wall, hoping that by some miracle, I was dreaming.

“I think she fainted. She didn’t even stick her finger, I don’t know what happened.” I could hear the stress in Mike’s voice, also the anger. He wanted more than anything for Edward to go away and so did I.

“Y/N.” Edward was inches away from my face. “Can you hear me?”

“No,” I groaned. “Go away.” A chuckle left his lips.

“I was taking her to the nurse,” Mike explained defensively, “but she wanted to stop.”

“I’ll take her,” Edward said. Please, no. “You can go back to class.”

“No,” Mike protested. Oh god, here we go again. “I’m supposed to do it.” Even with my eyes closed, I could picture Mike attempting to stand his ground against Edward, who was probably three inches taller than him. If I wasn’t so mentally and physically drained, I would’ve giggled at just the mental picture.

Suddenly I didn’t feel the bench anymore. My eyes shot upon. Edward had effortlessly scooped me up in his arms as if I weighed nothing at all.

“Put me down!” Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I could hear Mike yelling in the back, but Edward had already strode quick enough to the point where he was only a mumble.

“You look awful,” he said, grinning.

“Edward. Please put me down.” The rocking felt worse. He wasn’t listening, so I settled my arms around his neck to steady my movements. I couldn’t help but notice how much his body had gone rigid. 

“So you faint at the sight of blood?” he asked. Yes... and apparently have freaky visions too… I didn’t answer. “And not even your own blood,” he continued, obviously amusing himself.

“Oh my,” I heard a female voice gasp.

“She fainted in Biology,” Edward explained.

Opening my eyes, I found myself in the office with Edward already making his way to the nurse’s door, to which a lady opened for him. Edward gently placed me on the cot, moving only just inches away from me.

“She’s just a little faint,” he said to the nurse. “They’re blood typing in Biology.”

“Just lie down for a minute, hon. It’ll pass.” I nodded in response. “Does this happen a lot?”

“Hasn’t happened in a while.” I couldn’t help, but notice Edward from the side of me, barely being able to contain a laugh.

The nurse faced Edward. “You can go back to class now,” she told him.

“I’m supposed to stay with her.” The nurse didn’t seem to argue with him. How did Edward have such a way with people?

The nurse had left the room to get ice, to which I laid down on the cot, groaning, “You were right.”

“I usually am – but about what in particular this time?” I didn’t have the energy to argue.

“Ditching is healthy.”

“You scared me back there.” His tone surprised me. The way his breath hitched, as if he was confessing his deepest darkest secrets; that he was worried about me. “I thought Newton was dragging your dead body off to bury it in the woods.”

I stifled a chuckle. I tried to imagine poor Mike Newton, anxiety and all, trying to cover up my murder.

“How’d you see me? Thought you were ditching?” I sat up, facing him. Finally, the dizzy spell had passed.

“I was in my car, listening to a CD.” For some reason, it surprised me. So, he was normal-ish?

The door opened, revealing the nurse with an ice pack in hand, laying it across my forehead. “You’re looking better,” she chirped.

“Yeah, I think–” I was interrupted by the door opening, the receptionist had her head peeking through, claiming there was a boy waiting at the door for me.

The door fully opened to reveal Mike, awkwardly walking through the door, glancing from me to Edward, a look of loathe stretched across his face.

“You look better.” I nodded in response. He continued, “So, you ready to go back to class?”

The nurse interrupted before I could reply, “I think it would be best if she stayed. What’s your next class, dear?”

“Gym.”

“Oh my, Ms. Cope here will get a note right out to your class, dear, don’t you worry about that!”

Mike left awkwardly, mumbling, “Feel better. See you at the beach.” before heading back to Biology. I didn’t even realize Edward had left too. I took the time alone to lie back down, placing the ice pack back on my forehead, hoping the ice would numb my mind too.

I felt the cot from beneath me disappear and was once again surprised to see Edward scooping me up in his arms. I yelped, “What are you doing?!”

“Taking you home.” As it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Once we were through the doors, I could feel all eyes on me, both the nurse and Ms. Cope looked at me in admiration. I could feel my cheeks burning red from the embarrassment.

“I can walk, you know?”

“Yep.” I didn’t miss the smirk on his lips, especially when we’d passed Mike, who’d become even more red from the sight of us. Edward simply laughed it off.

As soon as we got to the parking lot, he set me on my feet, leaving us both to walk side by side until we reached our cars.

“You’re enjoying this aren’t you?”

“A little, yeah.” That damn smile. 

When I went to walk over to my own car, something caught my jacket, yanking me back.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he asked, his eyebrows completely raised.

“Home?”

“I promised I’d safely take you home. You think I’m going to let you drive in your condition?”

He was right, as much as I hated to admit it. Not even twenty minutes ago I was recovering from a dizzy spell, accompanied by whatever the hell I saw when I closed my eyes. I only asked, “What about my car?”

“I’ll have Alice drop it off for you after school.” He loosened his grip on my jacket, placing his hand on my back to guide me to his car, to which he opened and closed for me once I’d gotten in.

He got into his car and settled his keys in, cranking up the heat. I didn’t even realize how freezing I was until he cranked up the heat, which eventually settled down my shivers. Before we set off, I told him my address. Then, a familiar tune flooded my ears.

“Clair de Lune?” I asked, surprised. When he said he was listening to a CD, I didn’t know what I’d expect to blare from his speakers, but it definitely wasn’t the elegance of Claude Debussy.

“You know Debussy?” He sounded just as surprised as I was.

“From my mom.” I nodded. “She plays a lot of classical music – I only know a couple of my favorites.”

“It’s one of my favorites, too.”

I leaned back into the gray leather seat, watching the rain, and letting the music soothe my nerves. The view outside had blurred completely into green and gray streaks, showing just how fast we were going, but the ride had felt as smooth as ever.

“If you don’t mind me asking… Why are you sensitive to blood?”

“Um…” I paused. For some reason, I felt alright with telling him. No one else had known besides my dad, the doctors, and the occasional therapist. “When I was 12, I saw an animal attack. It was in the woods by my house. There was a lot of blood… and since then, I don’t know… I just freak out.”

“I’m sorry,” he said sincerely.

I let silence invade the space, before mumbling, “Your turn.”

“What?” He looked terrified. As if I’d just asked him to reveal one of his deepest and darkest secrets.

“Tell me something about yourself. It doesn’t have to be as deep and traumatic as mine… What about your family?” I deserved to know even a portion about his life at least.

“What do you want to know?”

“The Cullens adopted you?” I confirmed.

“Yes.”

“Can I ask what happened to your parents?” I didn’t expect an answer. Even after all that I’ve told him, it seemed too overbearing.

“They died a long time ago.”

“I’m sorry.”

He shook his head. “I don’t remember them much. Carlisle and Esme are all I’ve ever known really. I couldn’t imagine two better people.”

“I’m glad.” I continued on, “And your brother and sister?”

“My brother and sister, and Jasper and Rosalie for that matter… they are going to be quite upset if they have to stand in the rain to wait for me.” He chuckled.

“Oh, shit.” I hadn’t even realized we stopped, let alone in front of my house already. “Sorry, yeah, I’ll um– see you later?” 

I didn’t get out of the car yet. I wanted to ask him something, even if I ended up regretting it later.

“Did you wanna come with us to the beach?” I breathed out.

A smile littered across his face. “Which beach?” Was he considering it?

“La Push.”

His smile lessened. So I asked, “Something wrong?”

“No, sorry.” His eyebrows furrowed intensely. “I just remembered Emmett and I had plans. Hiking in the Goat Rock Wilderness.”

“Oh,” I said. “Well, have fun.” I tried to hide my disappointment, but I don’t think I fooled him too much. A smile was still spread across his face, almost amused by how I reacted.

Just as I was about to open the door, he said, “Maybe another time. Just the two of us. Somewhere more quiet.” I felt shivers down my spine.

“Y-yeah.” I stuttered. “Thanks for the ride.”

Slamming the door shut, I turned to face him, his smile still radiating even after he drove off.

next chapter

a/n: this one is a lot longer than the others and i had to rely on the book a lot for some of the dialogue, but just some little changes here and there! i hope you all like it!

tags: @measure-in-pain @brekkers-whore @rejectedbimbo @leilanileila

[horriblehistorieslandfill]

youve gotten me interested in horrible histories, could we get a lil rundown of it all? what is the idea behind it? :D

GLADLY !! I’m feel so honored that I was able to get you interested in this wonderful show :-) !! I’m assuming you’re only asking about the show BUTT you’re also gonna get an explanation about the books, Horrible Histories: Gory Games show AND the animated Horrible History characters too hehe

HORRIBLE HISTORIES 2009 SERIES:

Horrible Histories, a British sketch comedy and educational television series, first aired its 2009 season on CBBC. The show, primarily aimed at children, uses humor and parody to teach viewers about various historical events and figures. Each episode focuses on specific periods, cultures, or historical topics, presenting the information in a fun and engaging manner.

The series is based on the bestselling children's books of the same name by Terry Deary. It uses a combination of live-action sketches, animations, and musical numbers to make history more accessible and entertaining for its audience. The show's cast (Season 1 to 5), which includes Matthew Baynton, Simon Farnaby, Martha Howe-Douglas, Jim Howick, Laurence Rickard, and Ben Willbond portrays a range of historical characters, often in a comedic or exaggerated manner.

Today’s Horrible Histories (Season 6 to 10) isn’t as much as loved compared to the older Seasons, and I see why. The main reasons as to why the recent Horrible History seasons aren’t as loved is because of some controversial topics and some rewrites of history (So I recommend maybe just watching the earlier seasons).

(Just a quick note that I do not support nor condone any of the controversial topics that were written in the recent seasons, the only reason why I visit the recent episodes are to fast forward to the parts to where they show the animated clips.)

Back to the older seasons, Season 1-5 shows a great way of explaining and presenting historical topics in a fun, harmless and amusing way to its audience. There are also a bunch of British references and subtle jokes that will get a laugh out of you. The songs are quite catchy too :-D

If you are interested in watching Horrible Histories, you could always go to the BBC Horrible Histories Iplayer website or use this google drive I found on Reddit to all the episodes of Season 1-5 !!

Pros of watching Horrible Histories:

COOL FUNFACTS THAT YOU CAN FLEX TO YOUR FRIENDS THAT DON’T KNOW JACK ABOUT HISTORY !!!!!

FUN CAST I ABSOLUTELYLOVE THE SIX IDIOTS GO CHECK OUT THEIR OTHER PROJECTS

FUNNY SIDE CHARACTERS LIKE DEATH, RATTUS, SAM, CLIFF WHITELEY AND MORE !!!!!

someone kissed a priest idk

THE SONGS ??? THEY’RE THE BEST I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THEM

Cons of watching Horrible Histories:

getting the Monarchs song stuck in your head for months

sad song ending :-(

there will never be another season of horrible histories with the original cast (six idiots)

Summary: silly history show that is hosted by a talking rat with a variety of fun signs and fun other characters like Death and a historical news report guy with ADHD. also uhm a lot of people really like Matt Baynton dick turnip for some reason

HORRIBLE HISTORIES BOOK FRANCHISE:

Horrible Histories is a series of non-fiction children's books written by Terry Deary. The books, published by Scholastic, delve into different periods of history, presenting facts in a humorous and often gory manner. The series aims to make history fun and engaging for readers by focusing on the unusual, terrible, and gruesome aspects of the past.

Each book in the series covers a specific historical era, such as the Awful Egyptians, the Measly Middle Ages, or the Terrible Tudors. The stories are told through amusing anecdotes, illustrations by Martin Brown, and timelines, often featuring shocking facts, jokes, and quirky characters. Some books also include activities, such as puzzles and quizzes, to further engage the reader.

The first titles in the series, “Terrible Tudors” and “Awesome Egyptians”, was published in 1993, and since then, the series has expanded to include more than 30 titles, covering various historical time periods and regions, like the Rotten Romans, the Vile Victorians, the Cut-Throat Celts and even gruesome guides to places you may know such as the USA, France, London and more !

The books have been translated into multiple languages and have sold millions of copies worldwide. By presenting history in this unique and irreverent manner, Horrible Histories has played a significant role in making history more appealing to readers, helping to inspire their interest and encourage further exploration.

Martin Brown is an illustrator best known for his work with Terry Deary on the popular children's book franchise, Horrible Histories. He started off with illustrating greeting cards and now writes his own projects and draws illustrations for the recent Horrible History books such as “Up in the air”, “Right on Track”, Paws, Claws and Jaws”, and the upcoming new Horrible History book “The Truly Terrible History of the Toilet”.

Martin Brown’s illustrations play a significant role in the franchises' success, as they bring the gruesome and humorous aspects of history to life. His unique style combines a cartoonish aesthetic with realistic detail, creating a vivid and engaging visual experience for readers.

Besides reading the books, you could also play some Gruesome (not really, I just added that word for fun) Games like the Horrible Histories: The Board Game, Horrible Histories jigsaw puzzles, Horrible Histories Battle cards, Horrible Histories: Gruesome Game-A-Thons and many more !

Pros of reading Horrible History books:

FRIGHTENING FACTS !!!!!

MORE ILLUSTRATIONS !! PICTURE BOOKS 🔛🔝 !!!

dude the books are genuinely so fun theres pop up books, sicker activity books, coloring books, journals, puzzles and MORE ?????? also horrible history themed stationary stuff ANDD horrible history figurines which is like ,, well wicked.

Cons of reading horrible history books:

I haven’t ran into any cons yet so THATS A WIN FOR THE BOOKS !

Summary: READ THE BOOKS DAMN YOUR EYES !!!! god I absolutely love the books so much they’re so fun to read when ur bored and the illustrations were the reason why I even got into Horrible Histories so let’s all say “Thank you Martin Brown” I’ve learned so much from reading these books ANDDDD I spend less time on my devices woohoo !

HORRIBLE HISTORIES: GORY GAMES:

(I don’t know much about Gory Games because uhm I haven’t watched them yet I’m too busy watching Horrible Histories and the Beatles Saturday morning cartoons archived on youtube)

"Horrible Histories: Gory Games," a spin-off of the well-known BBC historical comedy sketch series, “Horrible Histories," is a children's game show that premiered in 2011. Created by the same team behind the original series, it's aired on CBBC. It also has a companion app for iOS and Android.

Hosted by Dave Lamb and Rattus Rattus, the show focuses on obscure historical facts. Three young contestants, known as "Horrible Historians," compete to collect "Year Spheres." These spheres represent years, either A.D. or B.C. Scoring A.D. years adds to their point total, while B.C. subtracts. The winner is determined by the contestant with the highest score after three rounds of historically-themed challenges or quizzes.

Pros of watching Horrible Histories: Gory Games:

THE ANIMATED CHARACTERS ARE THERE WHATT !! AMAZING RIGHT

You get to see Ben Willbond is a georgian costume

WATCH THE SHOW FOR YOURSELF I HAVEN’T WATCHED IT YET

Summary: if you wanna watch kids answer historical trivias then watch Horrible Histories: Gory Games (episodes can be found on youtube !!)

ANIMATED HORRIBLE HISTORY CHARACTERS:

(prepare for a long long LONGG explanation)

Canon/Official Information:

The reoccurring animated characters you may remember seeing in a normal Horrible Histories episode are probably the Rotten Romans soldier, Gorgeous Georgian lady, Frightful First World War british soldier or the Measly Middle Ages peasant. But do they have any background other than being a character from that era ?

[DING, DING, DING !]

These lovable but forgettable cartoon characters you’ve probably seen before make appearances in Horrible Histories: Gory Games, Horrible History book covers, Horrible History merchandise and even in the Horrible History games.

The animated/cartoon characters are used for the animated sketches or era headings in the 2009 Horrible Histories show. They also made multiple appearances in the Horrible Histories: Gory Games show, usually introducing the era topic, questions and answers. While most of the characters are recognized from the shows, almost all of them originated from the Horrible Histories book covers.

You may be surprised to hear that some characters have official names like this Victorian Gentleman, did you know his name was Howard ? Now you do.

How about this Tudor lady from an animated Terrible Tudors sketch ? Her name is Alice.

The Roundhead chief ? Oh yeah, his name is Victory.

We don’t get much information/background about these little shits, but when we do it’s usually shown in a subtle or way that wouldn’t be mentioned again. So what do I do ? LIST DOWN EVERY SINGLE FACT ABOUT THEM. (Probably not every single thing about them, but a lot of facts that you may not know !)

Since my discussion about the animated characters might be a bit too long, i’ll be breaking some of the subjects I’ll be talking about into 3 topics:

Canon facts

Fanon information (Things I made up about them)

Crabby Clash (Fanon once again !)

CANON/OFFICIAL ANIMATED CHARACTER FACTS:

The animated characters can interact with non-animated characters.

The mummy giggles alot

The Vicious Viking has a daughter (Fanon name: Eirunn)

The caveman is a father of 2 boys.

The Measly Middle Ages peasant’s family business is pig farming.

The Terrible Tudors headsman (Book cover character) does doodling

The (other) Measly Middle Ages peasant is a pilgrim.

The miner minor’s (Wales book cover character) father is shown in “When I grow up”

The Viles Victorian gentleman has a wife (Name unknown).

⬆️ He also sells cakes at science fairs !

The FWWI soldier has a trench mate (Shown in HH: Gruesome Game-A-Thons)

The Terrible Tudors Headsman has an official voice claim, voice actor unknown

There’s an animated HHTV News reporter named “Simon Skirmish” (Shown in “Protesting with Pankhurst” S9 EP3)

Animated Simon Cowell is canon in the animated Horrible Histories dimension

The Vile Victorian gentleman was ran over twice

I would name abunch of other facts I know, but I don’t want to make this post longer than it already is.

FANON INFORMATION:

(Note: This is just MY personal fanon opinions, other people have their own views, names and headcanons for these characters :-D)

Since BBC won’t give us more background about the animated characters, we’ll settle this the old way like any other fandom would; MAKE HEADCANONS !!!

Me and a few other HH fans gave most of the characters their own backgrounds and who they are, I’m truly taken back with what their creative minds came up with. You can check some of the names I’ve given the characters with the help of a friend in this post !!

I really don’t know where to start since there are so much fanon topics I could discuss right now, but here are a 2 topics I chose to discuss for now :-)

RELATIONSHIPS:

Headcanons:

(You may want to read the fanon names before reading my headcanons)

Ma-Nefer is blind (due to the fact that his pet falcon that Senouphis trained to rip his brother’s eyes out so he could become Pharaoh), his artificial eyes serve no purpose.

While Ma-Nefer was stuck at his burial, his only companion was a mummified cat he named “Geb”.

Senouphis gets a reoccurring nightmare where Ma-Nefer comes back from the dead and takes his revenge, of course that would never happen ,, yeah right.

Wycliff used to have a pet parrot, unfortunately he still hasn’t gotten over his parrot’s death.

They all hate Rattus (except for Médard aka the frenchie)

If Madeleine was ever to die during a bombing, Madeleine’s daughter would think of her doll as her mother and treat the doll as how Madeleine treated her.

Ma-Nefer is willing to forgive Senouphis.

Egbert is unaware that he’s related to the other medieval peasant.

Archie is the troublemaker, Toby is the problem solver.

Eirunn wants to be a vicious Viking just like her father, Ragnar supports her decisions but thinks that she shouldn’t be adventuring at her age.

Chopsalot loves plum pies he would devour one in SECONDS.

Rip Chopsalot you would’ve loved raisin muffins.

Ronnie likes to write poems and record his life in the trenches.

Lady Jane despises Egbert (peasants), she will not survive 5 seconds standing near him.

Benjamin is BALDING.

My mind has gone blank at the moment, so I don’t really know what else to say but I post a lot of animated HH character stuff so if you’re willing to listen to me ramble, then make sure to stay tuned :-)

CRABBY CLASH:

“What is ‘Crabby Clash’ anyways ?”

It’s an HHAC (Horrible Histories Animated Characters) AU where all historical periods/eras go to war against eachother, some eras/periods will have alliances while some will be on their own.

As of right now, I stil haven't figured out the alliances yet, but the whole story is completely up to you! Who wins in the Crabby Clash? Yes, that's the name of the AU (corny I know :-( ).

FUN FACTS about the Crabby Clash/HHAC:

The non-animated HH characters (Bob hale, Charles the II, Mike Peabody, Sue, Death, etc ..) are canon in the universe too.

A little conflict between 2 eras was the reason for the war (just like any other world war).

Women from some eras are able to go to war (because I SAY SO IT’S MY AU).

there will be yuri angst and brotherly angst so you should totally be interested in my au

The AU is still in the making, if you’d ever like to suggest something for my AU that would be heavily appreciated <3

And that’s about it I suppose :-) thank you for coming to my ted Jimb talk and see you next Friday night folks ! walks off stage and gets swallowed by an ottoman

[cookiesandbiscuits]

Now Playing: Falling In Love

[Lucifer – Strange]

Pairing: Lucifer x GN!Reader

Genre: Fluff, pining

Summary: You were a strange one, and that baffled him. Yet at the same time, he can't help but be enamored with you.

A/N: The first installment of Now Playing: Falling in Love series starting with the eldest demon brother and the love of my life hehe... (No favoritism were intended okay?)

The song I chose for this fic is "Dear" by Ben&Ben

The first time I heard this song, he came to mind. I don't know why but I just thought of him. It does suit him though in my opinion.

And yes, this is part of my Soft Lucifer agenda, and yes, this is a rewriting of that lesson chapter where MC made the pact with Lucifer. I felt that something was missing from it. And this is the result :D (I am squealing as I write this lmao). And yes, he asks for your consent this time because consent is sexy.

Anyways, I hope you guys would enjoy reading this! &lt;3

Now Playing: Falling in Love playlist

MASTERLIST

"Only the two of us can understand

The sureness of our love

I promise you that I will hold your hand

No matter what may come

Within the beautiful and captivating

Strangeness of our love

I found a sense of peace and clarity

That I had once dreamed of

My dear."

"I have a question."

He sighed. You've been asking a lot of questions lately. Ever the curious one.

"I had a feeling you would still ask even if I told you no, so just go ahead and ask."

"I've been curious about this for a while now, but how did you fall in love with me? And when?"

The sound of writing halted. Yet another strange question.

"Where do you get these questions, I wonder?"

"Well, I've thought about it, and... you've never really shown interest in me before. So I was surprised that you accepted my impromptu confession that time."

Your alarm interrupted your explanation.

"...Guess I have to go now. Can't let Luke wait for me," you said as you left a peck on his cheek. "Don't overwork yourself when I'm gone, 'kay?"

"You should go now, lest you want to be late for your appointment with the chihuahua."

"Luke would complain nonstop if he heard you call him that," you spoke as you open the office door.

"Yes, I can imagine that. But it's not like I'm lying."

You shook your head. "I'll be going now. See you later, Lucifer."

"Yes. Do enjoy your time outside with Luke."

He watched as the door to his office closed once more. Moments after he resumed his halted paperwork, his mind replayed your question.

"When, huh?"

He wonders.

.

.

.

He found you strange. You were teleported from the human world to the Devildom, yet the glimmer in your eyes was unmistakable. You actually found your predicament interesting, like a kid seeing a brand new toy on sale.

A bushy-tailed fool amongst demons that has the ability and will kill you without batting an eye. He mused. Would you be able to survive your year in this realm?

To his surprise, you had adapted well to your new environment. Sure, Mammon and his younger brothers had something to do with it, but it was still an incredible feat for a human with no experience with supernatural stuff before the exchange program.

However, he was also suspicious of how you seemed to enchant his younger brothers so much so that they were willing to tie themselves down with a pact.

So he observed you.

But the more he watched from afar, the more he found himself falling for your charms.

It was ridiculous for him to fall for a human, he thought. And it was more ridiculous to fall for a human so stubborn as a mule.

He tried to reason with himself. It was stupid. It was...

But demons were creatures unable to resist temptation for long. And so, like Newton's apple, he fell. He fell for the human who had caused him several headaches. He fell for those fiery eyes that showed no fear in front of him. He fell for your personality which he once found oh-so annoying. He fell for your smile. He fell for your kindness and warmth. He fell for your strength and determination. He fell for your strangeness. He fell for you.

How strange indeed.

.

.

.

Several months had passed. The sparks you had ignited in his heart have now become a raging flame. Yet he couldn't bring himself to confess to you. Not when he treated you coarsely before.

He wants to make it up to you.

And so, he began to show his affection in little ways. He helped you with your homework. He helped you with your tasks. He gave you little tokens that reminded him of you as a gift. And it made you smile, and his heart fluttered at the sight of it.

But he wondered. If he told you what he felt, would you accept it?

The uncertainty tortured him. Especially when he knew that he had rivals who also yearned for your heart.

He wished that he had answers.

And answers, he received.

When you confessed in the spur of the moment, he felt his heart leap from his chest. He didn't care if you meant it or not.

"I- I, too, feel the same. I love you, MC. With all my heart."

Ah, he had finally said it.

Tender obsidian and ruby eyes met yours as he cups your face.

"...May I kiss you?"

You nodded slowly in reply.

And with that, the distance between you was closed. Your lips were like what he imagined and more. Soft, sweet, and warm.

And at that moment, he felt pure tranquility and adoration well up within him.

He does not know how or when he fell in love with you. But he does know that he would give anything just to have even a sliver of your time and affection.

You were strange, and that baffled him. Yet that same strangeness had brought him immeasurable bliss he never knew he could have.

[descendantofthesparrow]

POYW Rewrite V2 - Harry Hook x reader - P16 - Epilogue

=

Uma stared blankly at the busted TV screen of her mother's restaurant, a simmering hatred running through her as she watched Maleficent’s traitor daughter hang onto the king of Auradon’s arm, flushed and smiling-her plum purple hair tied back into a loose bun with her bangs flowing out.

It had been three months already.

Three months since the coronation, three months without a word from her “Friends”, three months without an invitation, three months of watching Harry hold hands with that-new girl-smiling and laughing without a care in the world.

Three months of slowly losing hope that they would keep their promise.

Uma didn’t want to believe they abandoned her, Harry had been her closest companion since they could walk, and Gil never thought twice about following the two around-even if he did drift away sometimes, he always came back.

But…he hadn’t come back yet, and neither had Harry.

It had been three months and Uma was losing hope.

“Honestly, why you even continue to watch this trash is beyond me Uma,” Uma glared at the voice she heard, not even turning her head to look at him. “Fuck off Barbossa,” Uma snapped, but Davy Barbossa only laughed, crossing his arms as he leaned against the table, grinning sharply at the TV, which was still showing King Ben and Mal-who was rumored to become the lady of the court.

“Didn’t Hook ask king beast boy to bring you and his sisters over? Wonder what happened with that plan?” Davy said ‘absentmindedly’, hiding his grin behind his hand as he tapped his nose in ‘thought’, his grin widening as he heard Uma smack down a tray of food she had been holding while lost in thought.

“mm-hmm,” Uma just hummed, not wanting to talk about it, refusing to talk about it to someone she didn’t trust in the slightest. Besides, as far as she knew-things like that took time, she had no clue how long it took Ben to get the first six vks over, for all she knew-it was three months' worth of time to get everything ready.

“Honestly, it’s been three months, I can't imagine things take this long, just to get three people off the isle.” Davy said, still watching the TV, grinning as some reporters captured Harry Hook and (y/n) walking together around school, holding hands. (y/n) flipped them off and Harry laughed, tossing his head back.

Davy turned, seeing Uma staring hard at the screen. She was jealous-she would never admit it, because why would she be? She didn’t like Harry, they were just friends, and she shouldn’t be jealous of some girl Harry was now dating. She and Harry didn’t feel that way about one another, they were just friends, just friends.

It wasn't like they had each other's back since they could remember, it wasn’t like they had been each other's closest companion since they were 2, it wasn’t like Harry had stuck by her through her toughest moments(shrimpy, her broken leg, pneumonia), it wasn’t like they had promised to never betray the other(they had).

Uma didn’t feel betrayed, not at all…not at all.

“If I were you, I would scorn them both and declare war, I’d even help if you wanted it.” Davy said, clearly having been talking for a bit but Uma hadn’t been listening-she never found his words worthwhile anyway. Not when Harry was around, not when Harry would scoff and come up with a better plan, or fire back with quick quips and a sharp grin partnered with his hook.

“Shut it,” Uma finally snapped, having enough of this repetitive talk. This was the 5th time Davy had come into her space to taunt her about her boys, and Harry’s new girl. Davy just chuckled, holding up his hands in defeat, giving another glance to the tv-seeing Uma’s eyes simmer with anger as it continued to show Harry and (y/n), still smiling, still holding hands.

“All right, all right, whenever you're ready to face the fact that they abandoned you, you know where to find me.” Uma glared at Davy as he left the chip shop and she felt a low growl at the back of her throat. She undid her apron and threw it on the table, holding her head between her hands-staring at the tv screen that seemed to finally go from Harry and his girl to Mal and Ben, who were also smiling so sickly sweet that made Uma want to punch them.

It had been three months, and if Uma had to wait any longer-they would regret it. They would regret ever abandoning her.

-end of poyw rewrite 2.0-

Welp, there it is, I feel like there should’ve been more to this-but I’ve really lost my mojo for Harry again, idk; sorry. But yeah, Uma’s mad, feeling abandoned, she wants to believe that she isn’t-but with nothing coming from her best friends, and seeing them so happy without her in Auradon-and a devil whispering in her ear-it’s hard not to fall into darkness without her lights.

permtaglist!

@queer-cosette @sephiralorange @lunanight2012

@daughter-of-the-stars11 @musicarose @rintheemolion

@random-thoughts-004 @anythingbutmar @dai-tsukki-desu

@imtryingthisout @remembered-license @thecaptainsgingersnap

@thetrueghostqueen @littlewierdalien @melonsmysteriousmonarchy

R!poyw v2 taglist!

@reallysparklychaos @tzurue @evilunicorns4minions

[lookingforhappy]

considering for my rewrite that umbrella ben should be revived (i have a couple of ideas for this but first..) however i am not a fan of sparrow ben and wondering if i could revive umbrella ben in his place or if this would be a big turn off?

[lauren-no-why]

💕🎥💎!!

ok ok while my work computer is tied up crunching away at bird data:

💕 tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!

Oh my god you've given me permission to just go off endlessly on Johnnie, you're a gem.

For the folks reading this who don't already know him, Johnnie Redmayne is an absolute joy. Kid brother to the two current (well, 1967 current) leaders of the World Enders gang, Johnnie is a thrillseeker, a hedonist, the type to leap before he looks, to live with zero regrets, and most of all, he just wants to have fun. There are a lot of implied but not explicit-in-text reasons for this that have to do with the World Enders being centered primarily in East LA, primarily nonwhite and/or of lower economic class, mostly young rebels during an era of counterculture but instead of the white hippie flower child route they're out there causing violence and mayhem and just loving every minute of it.

Anyway, Johnnie is also dead, murdered essentially in a drug dispute, though that's kind of underselling it but I won't rewrite the whole premise of Vide Noir here. But because this is the time and space and cosmic horror fuckery fantasy drug made from the ashes of dying stars and the void between time and space and reality or whatever, he's presumably confronted with some REALLY HORRIFIC things as his mind is slingshotted out into the void where the dead don't so much float as drown as they're fully overwhelmed with whatever goes on out there. And Johnnie? Well - who the heck does this. He's like "uhhh, no thanks! Nope, I hate this, and I'm not going peacefully, death sucks and is boring at best and really really fucked up at worst, so I'mma take a rain check and go back to where all the fun is. Seeya." And now he's a ghost, out making fun of Buck Vernon on midnight desert highways and probably causing a lot of problems for other people because that's way more fun than the alternative.

He's a character who has the potential to be saddled with so much darkness and misery, so much trauma, and I'm sure it's all in there but instead he's not going to dwell on it or make it his personality because that sucks man. He's taken the World Ender ethos to a new level - live your life how you want, die if it kills you who cares, and skipped past the dying normally part right back to the existing for the sake of finding joy in the chaos and destruction and the booze and the ladies and the not being crushed under the heel of cops and an oppressive society but instead sticking it right back to them.

Anyway this kid is hilarious and wonderful and I sure hope he surfaces in the next album and also Eddie Sandstrom is an absolute delight and he better come back to reprise his role even if he doesn't really look 18 anymore I don't really care.

I'm going to stop and move on now even though I really could keep going. Have a pic.

🎥 do you have any favorite scenes from your hyperfixation?

Buddy, it's the Dead Man's Hand scene in the movie, how could it not be. Hey Ben feel free to remake this all you like forever, you're doing great.

Also Until the Night Turns if that counts as a scene, because it does in the movie that plays in my head. Massively underrated song by the fandom, this does so much heavy lifting with the characterization and setting and people need to pay it more attention.

💎 are there any fun facts or trivia that you would like to share?

More! fun! facts! yes let's see. Oh, I think a fun one that's easy to miss is that we actually have an image of Buck Vernon's driver's license and the contents of his wallet. So now you can all know his birth date, height, eye color, etc plus the fact that he keeps SO MANY PHOTOS OF LEE with him. I love this kind of stuff. It's a movie prop that doesn't actually surface in the movie in a viewable form other than I think one of the photos, which is why this isn't on the wiki as not being in the movie itself makes it sort of borderline canon, but it's on the prop designer's website as an example of her work.

[madsworld15]

New Fic Alert! once you know you can never go back (Brian/Justin)

This one answers the prompt: hogging the blankets (Prompt #19) [13/21 for me personally] for the QaF Prompt Challenge 2024. This is also part of the Diabetes Chronicles series and serves as a follow-up to you're still the one that i love I want to give a shout-out to my discord pals for always reading and supporting my works when they can: @maryp50, @lostcol, and @winderlylandchime

Justin was already in bed by the time Brian finished his paperwork from the latest campaign he was overseeing. After 11 years together in New York, they’d slipped into a well-oiled routine. Most nights, they went to bed together. But on occasion, Justin had to stay up writing lesson plans or grading, or Brian had last-minute rewrites or contract negotiations to go over.

They were inching closer to a new decade of life; for Justin, it was his 40s, and for Brian, it was his 50s. However, a conversation Brian had with Michael and Ben during their visit a few days prior was sitting heavily on his brain. Michael and Ben had adopted Hunter in 2005, had J.R. in 2004, and added another little girl to their family in 2010. Now, their daughter was 7, and the couple had been gushing about how wonderful their lives were. Brian had surreptitiously watched Justin during the conversation and noticed his partner had gone quiet. 

The old Brian would’ve ignored the elephant clearly in the room, but Brian had become a much better communicator in the past decade or so. His relationship with Justin grew stronger every year because they were both willing to voice their concerns as they arose instead of waiting for them to fester and create tension. In the early days, the family had always blamed Brian for the lack of communication in their relationship. Still, they always failed to see how much Justin also failed to voice specific desires until it was a mountain of an issue instead of a molehill.

Brian sighed, shut off his computer, and walked through their brownstone, checking each room for stray lights or electronics that might still be on. He quietly opened the door to Gus’ room and checked to see if the teen was still sleeping. Since Brian’s recent hospital stay last month, things have been tense between them. But Justin assured Brian it would eventually blow over once Gus had time to process everything.

Once he was sure Gus was okay, Brian crossed the hall to the room where Isaac stayed most nights. The kid was still living with his parents full time, but at least once or twice a week, he spent the night with the Taylor-Kinneys. Tonight was one such night. Isaac could be found crashed asleep on his stomach with his arms wrapped around the pillow his head laid on. Brian smiled at the young boy, picturing another boy who had used his best friend to escape the stress of his home life.

Finally, Brian made his way to the bedroom he shared with Justin. He took his glasses off and folded them as he approached the bed. Only the lamp on his side of the bed was lit. Justin was turned on his side, facing away from Brian’s side. It was half past 11, meaning his partner was probably sleeping soundly already. However, when Brian pulled his shirt off and tossed it toward the laundry organizer, Justin rolled over with a groan. 

“Warn a guy next time. I might have a heart attack waking up to a sight that gorgeous.” Justin mumbled with a lustful twinkle in his eyes.

“I didn’t mean to wake you up. Go back to sleep. I’ll only be a minute.” Brian smiled at Justin as he threw on a white undershirt and slipped off his jeans.

“You didn’t. After almost two decades with you, my body just innately senses when you are nearby and becomes alert.” Justin smiled sleepily up at Brian.

Brian pulled on sleep pants and climbed into bed. He scooted close to Justin and kissed him on the lips.

“Is that so.” Brian whispered, “Does that include all parts?” He gave a mischievous look, his lips tucked behind his teeth in anticipation.

“Bri, I’m half asleep and 34 years old. I can’t just turn things on that quickly anymore.” Justin sighed and tried to act like having sex was the furthest thing from his brain.

Brian’s hand wandered down toward Justin’s crotch and lightly cupped his half-hard dick. “Really? I guess he didn’t get the memo.” 

Brian chuckled and then quickly kissed Justin’s lips once again. “I’m kidding. I actually think we should talk about something.”

He then grabbed the blankets and pulled them onto himself and away from Justin.

“Well, first, you can give me back the covers.” Justin grabbed the blanket, attempting to pull it back to his side.

“But, Sunshine,” Brian jokingly pouted, “I’m cold.”

Justin rolled over and wrapped his leg over Brian’s, “Well, I can warm you up. That way, you don’t hog all the covers.”

Brian pulled Justin down into another kiss. This time, their tongues danced in each other’s mouths, fighting for dominance. Even after all these years, Brian and Justin still found kissing one of the most intoxicating things they could do together. It was one of their favorite activities inside and out of the bedroom.

“What did you want to talk about.” Justin finally broke away, giving Brian his full attention.

“I was thinking.” Brian started, but then he stalled, unsure how to start the conversation in the first place. He pulled away from physical contact with Justin, hoping it would help organize his thoughts. Justin sat up and watched him, waiting.

Brian sighed and rubbed his temples. He worried that bringing up the subject after all these years might cause discord in their relationship. Things had been miraculously happy between them for many years. Do I really want to mess that up?

“When we were out to dinner with Michael and Ben the other day, I noticed your expression changed when they started talking about the joys of raising J.R. and Violet.” Brian looked toward Justin, who was sitting stone-still and silent. He reached over and grabbed the blond’s hand into his own.

“You looked like you were sad or like you regretted something. And in the days since then, you’ve been somewhat quiet.” Brian squeezed Justin’s hand. “I’m worried I’ve done something wrong.”

Justin shook his head and gave Brian one of his smiles that didn’t quite reach his eyes, “No, just my brain being stupid. That’s all.”

“Justin.” Brian’s tone was gentle but stern. He needed Justin to tell him what was on his mind. “Whatever it is, we can talk it through and find a solution.”

“It just made me regret all the time we lost out on with Gus. It would’ve been fun to see him discover new things about the world when he was younger.” Justin shrugged. “Told you. Just my brain being stupid.”

It was what Justin wasn’t saying that had alarm bells going off in Brian’s brain. He moved so that he was flush against Justin and pulled the younger man against his chest. 

“Justin, do you wish you hadn’t sacrificed having kids by being with me?” Brian’s voice was barely audible. He held back the emotion that threatened to seep through. 

Justin is still young enough. He can go somewhere else if he wants kids. Maybe that’s why he’s been distant. Maybe he’s thinking about leaving me.

“I didn’t.” Justin placed his hand on Brian’s chest and drew soft circles there. “Brian, just because I thought I wanted kids when I was younger doesn’t mean I sacrificed that dream by being with you. I just followed a different, more important one.”

Justin placed a kiss on Brian’s chest. Brian tangled his hand in Justin’s hair and rubbed his scalp. He still wasn’t convinced Justin was simply trying to placate him. They’d been down this road before, years ago, where Justin wouldn’t say that he wanted a marriage and a family because he loved Brian so much and couldn’t see a feasible way of having both.

“We broke up before the bombing because I wasn’t willing to give you a family or marriage.” Brian’s words choked their way out of his swelling throat. “So, I’d understand if that conversation reminded you what you gave up.”

Justin positioned himself so that he was supported on his elbows as he hovered over Brian. “Bri, are you not hearing me? I don’t want kids if it means I don’t get to have you.”

“But that doesn’t mean you don’t want them at all,” Brian argued.

“Why are you being like this? Is it because Gus is still upset with you about sleeping with guys outside of our partnership?” Justin looked Brian up and down, trying to understand, “I’m not going to leave you. I love you. We have a commitment to each other.”

“But, you still want kids. Deep down.” Brian wanted to reciprocate the declaration of love Justin had just given him, but he needed Justin to settle his mind first.

“Brian. We have kids, two of them.” Justin pointed out. “Gus lives with us full-time now, and Isaac is practically ours at this point, too.”

“But, you didn’t get to raise a child from the start. I know that’s been in your heart. I see it in your eyes whenever someone you know has a baby.” Brian squeezes Justin’s arm and gazes discerningly into his eyes.

Justin’s eyes widened when he finally realized what Brian was trying to propose indirectly. “Are you seriously telling me you’d consider adding a baby to this at your age?” Justin’s eyes were a mix of shock and teasing.

“I’m not that old yet, and you definitely aren’t too old. If it’s something you really want.” Brian paused, “I’d do anything to make you happy.”

“Bri, I am happy with you, Gus, and Isaac. I am happy being the fun gay uncle to my sister’s and Daphne’s kids. I don’t need a baby to make me happy.” Justin reached out and cupped Brian’s cheek.

“Please trust me on this.” Justin kissed Brian, quickly grabbed the blanket, and rolled away from the brunet.

Brian chuckled and rolled his eyes. He loved Justin more than words could ever express. While his mind wasn’t entirely convinced about Justin giving up children, he could let the issue drop for now. Justin grinned at him and challenged him to reach over and steal the covers back. So Brian did. He turned off the lamp and laughed at himself as Justin adjusted both of their bodies to their typical sleeping position. 

They always started with Brian on his back, arms wrapped around Justin, cuddled against his side, his head on Brian’s chest. By morning, they would both be a mess of tangled limbs and pillows, but it was always agreed that their nights would start with intimate touches and gentle kisses. 

Once Justin had settled for good, Brian brought his lips to the top of Justin’s head and whispered, “I love you.”

[tossertozier]

ao3 literally didn’t let me put my thoughts into my end notes at the end of my new chapter of rewriting it. i’ve been CENSORED i’ve been SILENCED i will SHARE WHAT I HAVE TO SAY!!! (it was just too long.)

i hate the sequences that occur after the restaurant in the movie. i’m not even going to get into why it’s stupid. the introduction of the artefact thing is when i went from “this isn’t going to be a very faithful characterization adaptation of a character gold-mine book” to “this is going to be a bad movie.” what in the goosebumps was that. do we also need to find the map to treasure island. i don’t feel like explaining why i feel like if you get it you get it.

i am stoned as hell there is so much i wanted to tackle in this it is insane. how to hold a mirror to the first chapter, as the book does, without directly or senselessly repeating it. i find the sequel bizarre in its choices. i really do. why do we spend SO long retconning the clubhouse. what the fuck are we doing. why are we doing this. the kids are adorable, and i understand the desire to shove em back in there. but i genuinely think it lacks confidence in the adult cast. a film that doesn’t trust its ability to win the audience over with just the story they have to tell is a narrative that hasn’t been well thought through. because genuinely. the entire sequence added absolutely nothing of narrative value. also. it’s a retcon. just didn’t happen, and i guess they regretted it?

also i love my sweet little guy ben but how the FUCK did he build that.

he didn’t, he just didn’t. even “reinforcing the walls” those walls are at least 6 ft tall. there’s… there’s just no fucking way… by himself?? if we were gonna do this why not be like… plausible about it and be like “oh yeah this is what we did Together after the events for the sake of ~healing~ energy and we still had plenty of people in town that don’t like us” that would have been fine? i guess bc bill moves away at the end of the movie. maybe they did it in like the three days they had till bill moved? i don’t know. it was dumb. all around.

also.i feel characterizations are off in this entire sequence. stan and the kids with the bonnets felt like an unnecessary attempt at being wholesome. forced? maybe? i really want to stress i think the kids acting abilities shined with the material given.

the inclusion of eddie breaking the toy? weird. out of character. wonder why it was included. wonder if they were looking to recreate that improv magic that made that first movie so special.

i, obviously was absolutely taken with the storytelling of chapter 1, and i wanted to know everything. i did as much research back in the day as i could on the topic. i was fascinated by that these sent those kids to camp. i hadn’t heard of something similar in a project in a while, and i thought it was genius. (obvious nod to child actor ethics, hope they were being observed, etc etc etc) but i went to camp as a kid. camp is fucking magical for friendships. i’ve tried and failed many many times to write camp based fics because like the friendships and the feelings and experiences you have when suddenly untethered from your home base is crazyyyy. i had some of my deepest feelings of trust during my friendships at camp… like to this day. genuinely

the young cast chemistry in the first film is insane and it is what makes that movie and it is heartbreaking to accept that it was… literally never coming back. even if you mimiced the process however long later. a lot had to have happened to, around, between those kids in that time elapsed. that’s going to change whatever dynamic they had before. that’s perfectly fine, but when you literally coattailed that script on JDG and FW’s backs (i still laugh at “suck the wound!! get in there!!” in my head sometimes) and let dialogue come naturally as a result of the experience and the environment… you should accept you cannot script its continuation. love love love the kids. still think giving them the scene like that was a mistake. it was time that should have been utilized to fall in love with the adult losers before we start scaring the shit out of them.

gonna say it… not a huge fan of the scripting of richie. we’ll get into it later. the book makes it a point to say that richie as an adult is not a cruel man. the apology moment is IN the book over a joke that surprises him. being in derry brings him back to a part of himself he’s deeply uncomfortable with. having his dialogue have a bit of a mean streak with zero exploration of it bums me out.

now to the second part of this: shitting on the book, which of course i do reference several times in this now literal fucking essay as of course… ultimately it’s the holy book. it is canon, to me. IT is the book. these movies are adaptations. i’m going to be real here: i respect stephen king as an author. though my jokes may suggest otherwise. etc. it is his story and that has to be commended. these are his characters and plot and original ideas and that’s a fact.

the second act of the book is a mess. in order to kill an entity, you have to explain what it is. that’s… that’s just da rulez. you cannot end existence without at least ?? rationalizing it ?? i suppose ?? to your audience.

i think that’s why king won’t touch this book with a ten foot pole. i’ve seen him show a lot more interest in projects around some of his other books. his general regard seems to be like “go nuts don’t ask me to write a script” because he knows. i don’t want to bring drugs and shame into all of this but like let’s be real… the book doesn’t really make sense when it comes to what pennywise actually is, and it doesn’t even really seem like he tries that .. hard to make sense. yes yes shapeshifter… get it. but he also makes balloons and shit appear from thin air. fact of the matter is he bends not only his own form but the reality around it.

and yes : i get it. i understand that if you’re a fan of stephen king, and you understand his universe, it all becomes less convoluted. i genuinely understand that.

but the task at hand is to write a horror movie for mass-appeal. i’m gonna take a crack at explaining what it is, why it’s so fucking powerful, and how it can be killed.

(honestly the ending of the movie, i know i know we’ll get there, but i was literally holding a hand to my mouth trying not to laugh. remember kids, if you’re ever being bullied, get more people than your bully and bully them.) we also didn’t do any of the metaphysical stuff in the first movie… so… sending bev to the deadlights instead of bill was interesting… obviously i think the interpretation of what she saw was weak as hell idk just see where i’m going with this. i’m trying to do a lot all at one time for no reason!

but really king created a BEAR of a villain to try and make sensible in two hours. i’ m gonna try