louisetaylor

[louisetaylor]

is that what princes looked like, once upon a time?

New blog ~~ used to be tomhazeldine

[louisetaylor]

I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition

Was looking for your commission info when I saw the thing about pet pics so here's my son Sam who always looks so sad for no apparent reason.

This is his sister, The Spanish Inquisition.

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submitted by @pagesofscales

excellent names!

[louisetaylor]

I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition

Was looking for your commission info when I saw the thing about pet pics so here's my son Sam who always looks so sad for no apparent reason.

This is his sister, The Spanish Inquisition.

----

submitted by @pagesofscales

excellent names!

[louisetaylor]

awww look at the tiny wittle tanks

I'd like to walk around a miniature city like this

Behind the scenes of Godzilla (1998)

[louisetaylor]

Roland: Finally I have reached the Dark Tower. I have served ka all my life, have sacrificed myself, my friends, and my family to the all-consuming quest that ka demanded of me. Now I will reach my reward, or at least...my resolution.

Ka:...

*Roland climbs to the top of the tower*

Ka:...

*Roland opens the door at the top*

Ka: This bitch empty, YEET

[louisetaylor]

Roland Deschain at the Dark Tower: Finally, my long quest is over. I have yeed my last haw.

*climbing stairs*

*climbing more stairs*

*opens the door at the top*

Roland: I have not yeed my last haw

[louisetaylor]

--Dilbert

How do they keep making later and later stages of late-capitalism

[louisetaylor]

AMEN

maybe it's because i was raised catholic but churches shouldn't look like furniture stores

[louisetaylor]

Strange Noises from The Hole in the Wall was SO GOOD. I want to pick it apart piece by piece and study it under a microscope. This would be a banger of an animated film. The way my heart absolutely DROPPED when Timothy/Benjamin's father ran off without recognising him and when Tim/Ben realised he didn't remember his name anymore to say it on the phone was just *incoherent noises of distress*

Anyway, this play was so creepy and terrifying and my nightmares will be plagued by The Train Entity (oof I need to write about him separately, there's so much-) and the collapsing train carriages. My head will be buzzing with deranged analyses of the themes of identity (and losing it), aimless journeys and being transformed without recognition due to the work you were absorbed into just like every single person from the generations that came before you.

[louisetaylor]

I got a wolf. Didn't expect something so dangerous, but she is pretty cool. I love her thick scruffy fur. She will need many walks though...hope I have a lot of outdoor classes I can bring her to. And she should keep me warm at night as well :)

You show up for your first day at Copyright-Free Magic School. As you're going through orientation, you're informed that all new students get a school-assigned familiar that they are responsible for housing and maintaining. The staff member assures you that your assigned familiar is appropriately chosen and reflects you in some way.

Spin this to find out yours. (Remember, you are responsible for maintaining this familiar in your dorm room.)

[louisetaylor]

pricing clothes at goodwill does WONDERS for my autism (which may or may not exist) (schrodinger's autism)

They should pay me to sort objects by color and shape and size all day I'd be good at it I'd be so fucking good at it

[louisetaylor]

hmmmmmm

but on the real though, here is your guide to assyrian rice preparation from your friendly neighborhood assyrian:

start wanting rice. (or, if you are traditional, simply recognize your constant desire for rice.)

measure out two cups of rice. then one more. then two more. then another. this seems fine. you love rice. there is no way that this will backfire on you.

remember that your great-great-uncle’s recipe says it should be soaked overnight.

become consumed with despair.

decide to soak it for half an hour instead, acknowledging that the final product will be inferior and anger your ancestors but will still satisfy your now almost-overwhelming need for rice to be inside your body much faster.

remember that you should have set the water to boil when you soaked the rice. goddammit. 

once the water boils, put the rice in until it is half-cooked. the eyeballing or intuitive method is less effective than a timer but that’s how your aunt does it so you feel compelled to meet her standards.

now that the rice has fluffed up, realize how much rice six dry cups really is. holy shit. you’ve fucked up immeasurably. 

take a minute to dwell upon your failings.

grease a baking dish with butter. this will never be as elegant as you want it to and your fingers will get greasy, but the slightly shameful, self-indulgent joy of licking your fingers afterwards will make up for it.

pour the rice into the dish. wonder immediately if you actually buttered the dish beforehand and if you’ve just fucked up. 

melt approximately one thousand pounds of butter in the microwave and pour it over the rice, pondering your imminent death from rapid-onset arterial clogging. put a small pat of butter on the top to properly gild the lily.

put your pan into the oven, which you have absolutely preheated after your previous lack of foresight. shake the rice once or twice while it bakes to make sure the butter is well distributed. resist the impulse to climb into the oven with the rice. for the last ten minutes, sit next to the oven and count the seconds until it’s done.

remove the dish from the oven. shed a tear or two at the perfection laid before you. if you are dining with others, this is the time to serve the rice while making passive-aggressive statements about how oh no, you don’t need any help, you just made dinner all by yourself, you can serve everyone as well. (this is still fun if done alone, but optional.)

CONSUME THE RICE.

realize that you have eaten half of the dish in one sitting. no matter how much rice you made, this will always happen. 

put the leftovers away, if there are any, and enjoy a cup of chai while marveling at the amount of food you have just eaten. if possible, fall asleep in an armchair, sitting up, head tilted slightly back, like a grandpa.

for the rest of the evening, think fondly of how much rice you have in the fridge now and how many meals it will supplement, refusing to acknowledge that you will almost certainly eat the rest of it in a few hours for a midnight meal.

[louisetaylor]

may the lord Jesus bless saint julian of norwich for making Jesus clearer to me than 18 years of church sermons

Julian of Norwich, trans. Fr. John-Julian, OJN

[louisetaylor]

sometimes you really can go around. Before saying "the only way out is through" please investigate the problem for other possible ways out.

are we sure the only way out is through? like. are we sure we can't just. go around

[louisetaylor]

if you grew up reading older British books like I did, this kind of language makes you feel at home

San Francisco Examiner, California, November 12, 1933

[louisetaylor]

oh HO this is very good

Remember the Witch Finder General's reveal that he killed Maureen and Sandra's other sister? Well, what if he didn't check close enough, blinded by his overconfidence? What if she got away, hurt and scared but not dead? What if she did not dare to go back to her sisters in Aberdeen, fearing that her presence might blow their cover and endanger them as well?

What if Maureen and Sandra's supposedly-dead sister's name was Margaery?

[louisetaylor]

your luke is beauutiful!! I need to keep these

*snatches drawings and scurries away to my little magpie hiding place full of shiny things*

hi sfth tumblr take some sketches i did of these fellas