#i wonder if his trilogy would’ve turned out better

[shrinkthisviolet]

Rian clearly can tell a good story, but TLJ doesn’t work as a continuation. I wonder if he could’ve told a great story disconnected from Skywalkers if he either had the reigns of the whole trilogy, or if they just had more of a plan (switching directors between movies means they needed a solid plan from the getgo, with very little room for change, unlike the OT and PT which had a single director).

Like don’t get me wrong, I liked a couple of the things TLJ did—I liked the idea of Luke making mistakes and that staying with him, but the mistake should not have been literal child (nephew, at that!!) murder; it really should’ve been something like Luke having too much faith in Ben and paying the price for it when Ben turned and murdered everyone in the Temple…hence why Luke is jaded and aloof now (if he blames himself for Kylo’s fall, why would he say Kylo’s power should’ve scared him more?). It would’ve been such a logical progression from ROTJ imo: how does someone incredibly compassionate and I-won’t-give-up-on-you end up so cold? By having his compassion betrayed! Because sometimes, you can’t save everyone. Literally just that one change would’ve…not fixed Luke’s character, but at least improved him. It would’ve been cohesive, even if I didn’t agree with it.

Also, the Rey Nobody twist was actually interesting, even if it didn’t jive with how obviously TFA was setting up Rey Skywalker from the trailers onward. If they’d stuck with that in TROS instead of horribly backpedaling, maybe it wouldn’t leave a sour taste in my mouth…because the twist just seems like a waste of time since it was a) a manipulation by Kylo and b) an interesting idea dropped for an even worse idea than the original setup in TFA. There’s a reason I mostly write Rey Skywalker these days 😂

Which again comes back around to “they had no plan even tho they knew they’d be switching directors between movies.” Which doomed these movies from the start, but especially once Rían took the reins and apparently didn’t get enough guidance to know what not to break.

The one thing that does stump me though is how much better his progressive messaging works in Knives Out and Glass Onion than in TLJ (it felt more natural in the first two, but more heavy-handed in the third. In TLJ, it felt more like he was checking boxes, not weaving it naturally into a story). A mystery for the ages, I guess.

Rian Johnson, writer and director of Star Wars: the Last Jedi (derogatory)

Rian Johnson, writer and director of Knives Out and Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery (affectionate)

[essycogany]

Small Things Can Make Big Differences 🩷

Hi, Fans Of Amy Rose!

This is my opinion and we don’t know what could happen between now and Sonic Movie 3. Anyone can disagree. I’m 100% fine with that and this isn’t going to tarnish my enjoyment of the film at all, but I’ve got to get this off my chest. I’d love to see Amy Rose in Sonic Movie 3 and would be disappointed if she wasn’t in it. Yeah, she’d probably not have a HUGE role or time to develop as much. I get it, but at the same time, I personally don’t think we should shy away from characters having small arcs.

Tails had one in Sonic Movie 2 and I wouldn’t say the movie would’ve been better without him. I don’t think we should have to justify a main character like Amy who’s existed before KNUCKLES (and debatably Tails) being in a movie about her own franchise. We shouldn’t have to wait a whole year for it either. Stuff takes time sure, but other movies with Pokémon, the Avengers, Mario, My Little Pony G4, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and many others did it and did it well for the most part. Most of these have tons of characters that they wasn’t afraid to show in one movie. Characters with smaller roles still impacted the movies and in a memorable way too. We shouldn’t be so timid in bringing Sonic characters in Sonic movies. They’re just as marketable as these other franchises. The successes of the Sonic trilogies proved that.

Without Amy or other characters it doesn’t feel as full as it could be. Not saying we should’ve got all of them from the get go but a little more would be nice.

I’m saying this respectfully but that doesn’t make sense especially if we have enough time to flesh out the human core characters/side characters who aren’t even part of the main franchise and not the ones most audiences came to see in the first place. I’m neutral and understand both critiques and defenses so you can decide where to go to on that.

Back to before, you don’t need long drawn out character development in order to be written well. Tails turned out fine despite his small role. Heck, Amy’s roles in the GAMES were usually small but not less impactful because of it. Amy practically helped save the entire world with her “small roles” and one for an emotional and impactful moment with Shadow. Even small things can make big differences and that’s one lesson you can learn from Amy.

Amy’s interactions with Gamma in SA1 impacted the robot to the point of him sacrificing himself to free a Bird he needed to stay alive.

Amy believed in Sonic when the whole world (or Silver) was against him in Sonic 06.

Amy showed kindness to Sonic as the Werehog and gave her closest friend encouragement. She still loved him regardless of how he looked.

There’s more examples, but these are the most well known. Do you notice how most of them were small actions or small moments of development in small roles. And still managed to make Amy a wonderful character while impacting the stories?

I’ll also just show this too.

Also, don’t worry about her stealing time from Shadow. The film’s called Sonic Movie 3 not Shadow The Hedgehog. He can share the spotlight. Knuckles did in SM2. There’s no excuse in my opinion.

The movie doesn’t have to have Amy and wouldn’t be worse without her, but I think we shouldn’t overlook her importance to the franchise even if what she does is small. Or feel bad for being more aware of what little we get in these movies. It’s okay to admit certain flaws. Nothing’s perfect and not above criticism as long as we’re respectful about it. And for the kiddies who would like to see a cartoony animal girl character for the first time in these films, Amy would be a fantastic way to start.

Amy debuting in Sonic 3 and interacting with the boys would be a lovely way of establishing that close connection between the core four of the franchise. They’d literally have the definition of love at their sides. Again, small changes can make big differences. That’s all I have to say. Now I’m going to continue to be excited for the 3rd Sonic movie.

[monstersinthecosmos]

Hi Kacy! Question: do you like Lestat? Like, what is your opinion on him? Also I was wondering.. what is your least favorite VC character, and why?

fhjskdglsd lmao he is my least favorite VC character  🥸

But!!!!!!!! There’s some nuance here for me. 

Like, he’s the main narrator so if I TRULY couldn’t stand him I don’t think I’d like the books. I don’t hate Lestat. I also could group the many many many extraneous characters in the back half of the series as my least favorite, too, but it’s fair to say that I don’t care about them. I would’ve enjoyed more content about the characters we already knew and liked instead of having to spend so much time with like all the PL trilogy randos. So, of the main cast, my least favorite is Lestat.

A lot of this is like, subjective and personal and about preference, because we see the double standards in fandom constantly, like why do we give Lestat a pass while we demonize Marius for the same shit, etc. And for me as a Marius Girlie (GN), WHY DO I GIVE MARIUS A PASS ON STUFF LESTAT ALSO DOES? I can’t really explain it, I just don’t like him. LOL.

But what I find really fascinating is that Marius and Lestat are like, the father & son version of the same character. They have SO much in common, and it’s really engaging for me to use Lestat to extrapolate ideas about Marius. I think a lot about how they’re sort of pessimist/optimist versions of each other, too, and how perhaps Lestat’s “nauseating buoyancy” is what allows him to make such terrible, public decisions, vs Marius who has similar bouts of creative frenzy, similar self-loathing cycles, similar uses of ego, but who often crumbles and withdraws into himself without making Lestat-Sized messes. 

And like, how much of this speaks to their inherent personalities vs the lore about your age and temperament? Would Marius have been like this if he’d been turned at 20 when he was still full of verve? If Lestat had made it to 40 would he have calmed down? Was Marius this much of a mess in his first couple centuries, and will Lestat be like this if he makes it to 2000?

As a VC fan in general, I think whenever I’m reading one of Lestat’s books I’m usually really plugged in and enjoying him in the moment, but like, I am so much more invested in the de Romanus bloodline, like, in TVL I am so engaged with Lestat until Armand shows up, and then I’m like NO LET’S SPEND MORE TIME WITH THIS GUY. Same with the Marius chapter, it’s my favorite! And TVA/B&G/Pandora are my favorite. I mostly enjoy the other books, but whenever I do a reread it’s always a relief to make it to de Romanus books. THE DARK TRIAD, if you will.

I get him, too. Like, I get it lol. I get it. But I think by the back half of the series I just get super sick of him, and a lot of it has to do with the way the writing devolves. TVL Lestat is a very different person than Post-MTD Lestat, even PL Lestat, and I think when we start dissecting Anne Rice’s use of him as a Mary Sue it gets really annoying. There’s also like, the huge list of -isms in VC that we’ve discussed to death, and things Anne Rice handled better or worse, and even Post-QOTD Lestat really bugs the fuck out of me with how he treats Louis, and the way he is so plainly abusive to his lovers.

Like, I’m here all day defending Marius/TVA LOL and discussing diegetic kink and brand contamination and telling everyone it’s not that deep, and so this is my flaw as well that I give Marius a pass on stuff that I blame on the writing, vs how I have a hard time giving Lestat the same grace. It’s subjective, in a way, too, because the specific ways Lestat treats Louis are really triggering to me personally, and I have a hard time seeing past it, the way some people have a hard time seeing past Marius, or even a hard time seeing past the way Armand abuses Daniel. We all have little things like that, so I’m not judging anyone who enjoys it, it’s just not for me. I find it easy to understand the non-diegetic BDSM in TVA but less easy to watch the way Lestat treats Louis and David long term, the way his shitty behavior doesn’t get called out, the way Louis never gets to stick up for himself, the way David is so broken and traumatized and terrified of him but we never talk about it again except when Lestat makes a rape joke about it. Etc!!!

He’s just such a terror to everyone in his life, like! I feel sorry for everyone who gets involved with him! He’s traumatic to be around! AND LIKE, THE THEME OF VC IS THAT MESSES & BAD PEOPLE ALSO DESERVE LOVE, but like. Christ lol. He can meet us halfway and work on himself too lol. 

And it's interesting to ask like, when we talk about how Lestat gets a pass in the universe and no one holds him accountable, I think it's fair to analyze points of view and ask if it's simply Lestat withholding any criticism, but like ! idk! He turned a child lol. That happened! Other people met her! TOBT is about how he realizes he's a monster and accepts it, and decides he'd do it again! I love TOBT so much for being such a cool portrait of his evil, really! And it's part of his charm, too, like we like him as a character because he's charming and perhaps people in the universe also always forgive him because he's charming! He's just too irresistible LOL. But there's a turning point where it just starts feeling flat, the charm feels unironic, it doesn't feel like we're seeing him as a charming monster anymore. (This is just me but maybe it's because I get bored and don't analyze the later Lestat books enough.)

By the end it felt like Anne Rice writing silly lil stories about her lil guy, I get it. But I don’t really enjoy that in the writing and so like, I can’t say that I enjoy the Lestat stories too much, and whether it’s diegetic or not, he bugs the fuck out of me LOL.

On a fandom level, too, like, he’s the main character and Loustat is the juggernaut ship. He’s not neglected, there’s plenty of fan content about him. I don’t feel particularly obligated to create works for him or give him more attention, he’s doing fine lol. I don’t think I have anything to say about him that hasn’t been said, and I’m not interested in taking up space in fandom as a salty Lestat hater, so I just leave a polite distance. 

I do like him when I’m in the moment reading his books, I really value him as the main narrator, there are scenes of his that break my heart, Lestat/Nicki is one of my top ships of all time, I love him as a scared boy trying so hard to be good, I love him as a tortured creative person who needs so deeply to be heard, I love him as a baby fledgling who doesn’t know what to do and is so so so scared of losing people, but I also get sick of him and think that, as the main narrator, he shoulders the brunt of the weird writing decisions in the second half, and I’m just over it! Idk! 

[emilococoartwork]

Basically, it's Fairly Odd Parents in the Milo Coco style!

While we all wish that 'Fairly Odd Parents' didn't overstay its welcome, there was a time when we thought the show was more than "fairly" good. As a child, this Nickelodeon cartoon about average boy Timmy Turner and the magical adventures he has with his fairy godparents Cosmo and Wanda granted me a lot of enjoyment in its peak.

What worked about FOP was how it managed to put fantasy creatures into a contemporary setting, it was able to apply cartoon based humour to the cyclical structure of a fairy tale. The show followed its own formula, which Timmy would use wishing to improve his life. But these wishes would lead to certain consequences, that way, it would work morals into its stories. It really showed what type of wishes a child would make if they could happen in our world. It played around with tropes, as the depictions of mythological beings and wishes turned out differently than you'd expect.

Its use of gag-related humour was both sharp and funny. The show could get tongue-in-cheek with how characters referred to plot points, like how the opposite circumstances happen. The designs are formed from geometric shapes and bold outlines, they still have a distinctive flare. The animators were able to magically bring life to these ideas with snappy timing. 

The characters were able to pull off these goofy lines with sincerity. Timmy was one the younger viewers could sympathise with and learn from. Both Cosmo and Wanda worked well off each other, as the dim-witted comic relief and nagging voice of reason. The other characters managed to leave an impact with their exaggerated traits, like the conspiracy nut Crocker. Who pursuits to prove the existence of fairies. Yet he reacts and fails in an over the top manner. Sure the writing could be hokey and the characters would become victims of 'flanderization', it still made up for it with a good balance of humour and morals. 

But after a brief hiatus, FOP introduced the fourth wheel to the main cast. When Cosmo himself gave birth to the fairy baby, Poof (yes....really). For many fans, this was seen as the point where the show jumped the shark through a giant pair of scissors (so to speak). Something definitely felt 'odd', but we all thought what could possibly go wrong? Well, the writing was starting to become less witty and charming, often relying more on pop culture and sophomoric humour. The character's flanderization became more apparent, as they were reduced to their exaggerated traits. The supporting characters were put to the side; while more main characters were added as it went on. Now I for one don't blame Poof (as I like his character design), and I do think the second half of seasons do contain certain gems if you know where to look for them. But when Sparky was added, that's when I felt the show started to run on fumes. Did the last 2 seasons need to exist? I ask you.

If there's any point where FOP lost any dignity it still had, it would be the live-action movies. What could have been a funny/whimsical coming of age story that passes the wand to a new generation failed to utilise it's characters. The acting is ham and cheese, the production values are camp; what may have been funny in the original series does not translate to live-action. And for what, to completely contradict the ending that 'Channel Chasers' had set up. They're not the worst trilogy of films, but still, they’re not the conclusion viewers would’ve hoped for. When you put them together they leave you so disenchanted, you wonder if the show was ever good in the first place. For many fans, this made them realise that the show (for lack of a better term) lost its magic.

If 'A Fairly Odd Movie' was good (or at least decent) and the series ended right there and then; people would probably hold FOP in similar regard to 'Phineas and Ferb' and 'Futurama'. Not necessarily as one of the deepest shows or comedy gold, but the series had a charm that was all its own. But alas, it just became another children's franchise. But it no longer became what we remember it to be. Sadly, Cosmo and Wanda kept their incumbency, until it was eventually put out of its misery. Even though I still look back fondly on Timmy's earlier wishes, the reputation of them and their creator have been forever tarnished.

With the news of a live-action retelling, maybe Cosmo and Wanda's story could be told in a different timeline instead. It doesn't have to stay in Dimmsdale. But that's just wishful thinking. 

Fairly Odd Parents belongs to its respected owners and creators.

[dastardlydandelion]

my thoughts on fear street 1666 now that i finished scrubbing all the toilets, got to go home and watch it

holy shit. that movie. wow. 

it wasn’t as fun as the other two. didn’t employ the same campy tropes. didn’t present itself in a flourish of period typical style. while i enjoyed the first two films paying homage to classic horror tropes and making the most of the stylish side of their respective environments, i am v grateful and relieved that 1666 *wasn’t* as fun as the other two and actually presented the horror of puritan fanaticism and witch accusations more srsly. imo it portrayed that grave, twisting dread that the subject matter calls for. i appreciate that bc i think i would’ve been uncomfortable if they attempted to do smth more campy with the time period given what we already knew abt the circumstances of sarah’s death even before the film. 

more of me blathering on and on abt fear street 1666 under the cut: 

the twist actually worked on me this time. they actually got me on this one, u guys. i rly watched this franchise believing sarah fier was possessing ppl and wreaking her vengeance on the town, but this whole time it was the fuckin’ goodes. nick, i never liked u, i think ur more interesting than i did before before when u were a generic as generic gets asshole, so now ur somewhat more interesting but even bigger of an asshole than i gave u credit for. ur literally the worst asshole of assholes, ur a walking infected hemorrhoidal rectum of a human being. 

don’t get me wrong, i always thought sarah was going to be portrayed sympathetically. i never doubted that. my theory was that sarah was going to be a sympathetic villain. i thought 1666 would’ve revealed why she cursed shadyside. i figured she would’ve cursed her townsfolk for turning their backs on her, maybe, or hurting/killing hannah, or using her for her witchcraft and then getting angry if it backfired on them, or smth like that. i thought we were going to watch a story abt sarah’s descent into darkness and while she’d defo be a tragic villain, she rly would be the person behind the possessions...but it wasn’t even her. she and hannah were just vulnerable to the town’s suspicion and persecution bc they were queer women who didn’t behave the way society wanted them to behave. and they were blamed for evil actually wrought by heterosexual men in power, and when sarah realized there was no way out of it, she took the blame upon herself so hannah was spared and she cursed only the goode family?? 

THAT IS SO MUCH BETTER. FUCK. THAT IS SUCH A BETTER STORY. kudos to this trilogy for being more intelligent than it ever had to be, when it could’ve just skated on the notoriety of the fear street series, the style, and billing notable cast members. 

so yeh, i defo 100% appreciated the goode men from wealthy sunnyvale being revealed as the true villains. i actually got my wish of nick getting killed in the face. i love that sarah possessed deena to do it herself!!! and deena!! oh man, i love deena so much. she was wearing a homebrew vest to protect herself made of fear street novels + duct tape, u gotta love it. ig she wanted to prepare herself since sam stabbed her at the end of 1994. on that note, she’s v active in this film for someone who has a fresh abdominal stab wound and i mean, the situation defo calls for it, but i hope she remembered to properly dress it and take a couple ibuprofen or smth. shit, i’m gettin distracted again. okay!! 

i loved errything that went down in the mall. i adore that josh and adult ziggy got more time to shine. i was so! so! happy at martin’s inclusion on the action. he deserved that after the way nick treated him in 1994. our occupations are also p similar so i defo relate to martin on that front. i loved it all the neon and blacklight stuff at the mall. that part was v stylish, that was p cool. spraying the killers with the blood so they kill each other!! yes! that was perfect!! it was incredibly practical and enjoyable for me, as a gore fan, to watch. 

i liked the sticky note on the wall at the end from deena and josh’s dad, that he had a job interview. i wonder if this is bc the curse of shadyside has been lifted with the end of the goodes?? 

yk, i feel like now knowing what we know abt the actual evil, i gotta wonder how much re-watch value there is to be gleaned from this trilogy. for example, in 1978, nick liked ziggy and didn’t want her to die. he performed cpr on her even tho she’d been stabbed a fuck ton of times and tbvh, the chances of success of resuscitation depending on what exactly it is was ziggy succumbed to seem v slim. at first i attributed this to a suspension of disbelief bc this is fiction (and to be fair crazy do happen sometimes irl, ykw, sometimes reality can surprise u) BUT now i’m sittin here like...was the cpr successful bc nick’s deal with the devil gave him the power to do that?? did his bargaining of others’ souls and offering them up for possession grant him the ability to have some control in that situation somehow? at least more than a normal human being should?? idk. it’s a thought. 

what else, what else? 

i feel like outta the three, 1666 had the most tension overall. i was p gosh darn emo abt the relationships. deena and sam’s relationship i’ve cared abt since the beginning but the contrast of them getting the opportunity to have it and be together, in parallel to the way sarah and hannah’s ended just moves u. or, it moved me at least. sarah tells hannah they’ll go somewhere and kiss in broad daylight before kissing her in almost total darkness, and then the film ends on deena and sam kissing in the sun. i was also glad deena and josh’s sibling relationship got touched on a lil bit more. thought it was cute that she tried to cook for him and produced smth that just dead ass looks inedible. i also thought it was sweet that ziggy reunited with nurse lane. she can do that now, she can leave her house without fearing the return of the curse, and she deserves it. <3

i’m impressed with the trilogy overall. each movie easily could’ve been an r-rated goosebumps episode and imo all were certainly better than that. i feel like each film was better than the previous, but personally enjoyed each one. some things were p predictable but i think much of that is intentional. 1994 and 1978 were clearly paying homage to classic slashers and familiar horror tropes. i personally didn’t find the predictability off-putting bc i recognized what they were trying to do, and felt the quality in the other elements made up for it. i was genuinely shocked by the actual villain reveal, i personally didn’t predict that. again, i always thought sarah was going to be sympathetic and i never liked nick at all, but i didn’t suspect sarah was just. dead ass *not* going to be a villain or that he was going to be the big bad. 

really dug the style of these films. loved that we got an interracial lesbian couple who made it thru the trilogy without either the predatory lesbian trope or the byg trope happening. i liked most of the characters we got to know and the only character who *rly* grated on my nerves was the villain who got stabbed in the eye. 

gosh, i want more fear street movies!! if i had to pick one outta any of the slashers featured, i’d want to see ruby lane’s story. i would like to see this production team milking the most outta the environment in the 50s, the style of the 50s, music, and whatnot. i enjoyed nurse lane even tho she was super bad at murder, so it’d be cool to see her again and who she was before her daughter got possessed and killed 7 ppl. also, ruby sings when she kills?? 

that’s weird and creepy and neat. totally down for it. 

[quillsandtypos]

Nighttime Confidence

Summary: reader and the band are having a sleepover in Julie's studio and the late hours are starting to get to the reader

Pairings: luke patterson x reader

Words: 1.9k

Warnings: lil bit of cussing and tickling and the reader doing a minorly dangerous stunt

"Oh my god I'm gonna fucking die," you groaned.

Luke pretended to be hurt. "Do you really not trust me that much?"

"Yes!"

"Maybe I'll just drop you on purpose," he offered.

"Don't you dare," you said, backing up a couple steps.

He grinned at you and pulled you back, "Trust me you're gonna be fine," he assured you.

It wasn’t that you didn’t trust him, you just didn’t trust that you were going to land on his shoulders, without breaking anything.

But your worries began to fade into more of an anticipation as your friends watched you with excited looks on their faces. Besides, you were doing it in front of a couch for a reason, right?

“Okay, I’ll do it,” you reluctantly agreed.

“Yes!” cried Reggie.

Julie just facepalmed, “I’m not sure if it would be better to watch or just look away.”

“Julie, you gotta watch, you’re the only alive person here who could save me,” you realized.

“Like I was gonna let this happen without recording it anyways,” she scoffed.

You shrugged, ”Fair enough.”

“Alright y/n you ready?” Luke asked, squatting lower to the ground.

You didn’t know if it was the fact that it was three am, or that the coffee was kicking in, or if your boyfriend's confident energy was contagious, but suddenly you felt like you could conquer anything. “I don’t know, are you ready Patterson?”

He quickly yet slyly winked at you before motioning to jump.

“Ready, set, GO!” Reggie yelled like a car girl in nascar.

You took off at a bit of a run before attempting to bounce off the pillows and onto Luke’s shoulders. As you soared through the air for a moment you could’ve sworn you heard Alex yell ‘I can’t watch this!’. But only seconds later you came in a rather harsh contact with the couch.

You groaned, but quickly got up so as to not worry any of your band mates.

“Y/n are you okay?” Alex worried.

“Yes Alex I’m fine, really, that’s why we put the couch there,” you giggled.

“How many fingers am I holding up?” Luke asked.

“Technically none since usually that theory only applies to living people, but you’re holding up three,” you concluded.

Reggie couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah, I think she’s fine.”

Luke smirked at you. “Maybe a little too fine.”

“What is that supposed to mean beanie boy?” you teased back. You were getting used to your so-called midnight confidence.

“Oh so that’s how you wanna play it?” he asked, arching an eyebrow.

“I’ve been playing it, it just took you a while to catch up,” you taunted. Julie snorted and gasped before slapping her hand over her mouth.

As your eyes went back to Luke, you realized your first mistake was taking your focus off of him considering he was running right at you. You yelped before vaulting the couch.

You now had it separating the two of you.

“Come on y/n which way you wanna go?” he sang.

The look he was giving made you want to melt into a puddle of embarrassed goop but that was not a realistic solution, so you would have to come up with something a little more tangible.

You looked around the area to scan for something helpful, the instruments were put away; the other three were on the other side of the room, and had not bothered to get up from the floor to watch, and the studio doors were shut.

Luke recognized your analyzing face. “You can’t outrun me, I’m a ghost remember?”

Your nighttime confidence had a second wave. “No, but I can try.” You vaulted back over the couch and went running as fast as you could in the opposite direction of Luke. You made it about five steps until you felt his hands wrap around your midsection. Another yelp escaped your lips.

He quickly threw you over his shoulder, not unlike a sack of potatoes.

You tried to sound angry but you couldn’t stop laughing for the life of you. “Put me down!” you insisted.

Luke pretended he couldn’t hear you, but suddenly you got an idea. You stretched downwards to taser his sides. The minute you did he nearly dropped you, but he managed to muffle his laughter.

“Now that’s just dirty,” Luke commented.

“Says the one holding me like a potato sack, asshole” you quipped.

“She’s got a point with that one,” Julie chirped up.

Luke pretended to scowl at her but she just stuck her tongue out at him.

Luke finally put you back down on the ground.

“Thank you?” You were highly suspicious that he gave up that easily, and from the looks on your bandmates faces it looked like they didn’t believe him either.

“You’re welcome,” he said innocently, but his wide mouthed grin showed an ulterior motive; though you weren’t quite sure what that was yet.

You cautiously moved back to the rest of your friends. You didn’t take your eyes off of him until you were safely planted in between Reggie and Julie.

“So if Luke promises not to attack anyone, do you guys wanna watch a movie?” Julie suggested, and threw him a fake glare.

“All of you guys were clearly entertained by that, so you can’t even pretend to be mad at me,” Luke concluded.

“No, I’m pretty sure that was just you,” Alex retorted.

“And I’m pretty sure we can,” Julie accidentally finished.

Luke held his hands up in surrender, realizing he was very outnumbered. “Alright, you’ve proved your point.”

“So movie night?” Reggie asked.

“Definitely, but what do we want to watch?” Julie wondered aloud.

“Can I vote for Star wars?” Reggie hinted.

“That’s fair, anybody else have any ideas?” she asked.

“Oh, we could watch an animated disney movie?” Alex suggested.

“Which one, isn’t there like a shit ton of them?” Luke looked to you and Julie for help.

“Yeah, they have a lot,” you confirmed.

“So either disney or star wars?” Alex echoed.

“Technically they are both disney since disney owns star wars now,” you pointed out.

“They what now?” Reggie gasped.

Alex and Luke exchanged a nervous glance.

“Oh, sorry, yeah they bought them out in 2012,” you explained.

“Well now we gotta watch a star wars movie to see if they’re even good anymore!” Reggie exclaimed.

Julie scrunched up her eyebrows before agreeing. “Alright, Star Wars movie it is, I guess.”

Soon enough you were all scattered across the studio floor in a big pile of blankets and pillows, as the Rise of Skywalker played on the 'hologram projector'. Who would’ve thought that movie night was the real use of it?

Reggie seemed to be enjoying himself. It did take a little bit of explaining and some googling to get him caught up on the twenty five years that he missed, but he seemed to be fully engrossed in the movie.

Julie had never seen any Star Wars movies, so she was a little lost at first, but she seemed to really like the characters. Alex was half asleep near Reggie, it seemed like he was enjoying the movie, but the drummer was obviously very tired. Luke was propped up against the back of the couch, and you were sitting next to Julie.

You looked back at him to exchange a quick glance before turning back to the movie. You saw Julie watch you with an amused look in her eyes.

“What?” you softly asked.

“Go!” Julie whisper yelled to you.

“What?” you whispered.

“Go sit with your boyfriend.” She motioned back at him.

“No, I told you I was going to sit with you,” you insisted.

She narrowed her eyes. “Then why are you making googly eyes at him?” she asked.

You pulled your jaw back up. “I was not!” you defended.

Julie grinned, “Trust me, I think I can manage by myself up here, go back with him.”

“I’m not just gonna abandon you like that,” you argued.

“Y/n I love you, but so help me if you don’t go sit with him you are going to end up as a ghost really soon,” Julie threatened.

Not really wanting the wrath of Julie upon you, you picked up your blanket to move beside Luke.

“Hey princess,” he greeted you.

“Hi handsome.” You placed your head on his shoulder.

“You wanna know something y/n?” Luke asked.

“Mmm hmm, what’s that?”

“Reggie already watched this movie, he just wanted to watch it again because you seemed to like it,” Luke divulged.

You furrowed your brows. “You’re kidding right?”

“Nope, he binged all of them the second he heard there were more.”

“Wow, we must be really good friends if he’s willing to give up the first trilogy for me,” you commented. While it was intended as a joke, it didn’t mean you didn’t see the sentiment behind it.

“We all love you, you know that. And you love us,” he whispered.

“That’s true, and most especially you.” You placed a quick kiss on his lips but even the small moment gave you a warm feeling through your body.

“Hey y/n?” he asked.

“Yeah?”

“Do you remember earlier?”

You thought for a moment about what the hell he could be talking about until you saw the devilish smirk on his face, and you realized that you had yet again made a mistake.

Before you could make a move to get away he had already pulled you on top of him.

He pulled your shirt up slightly.

“Don’t you dare tickle me,” you threatened.

“I mean I wasn’t going to do that, but now that you mention it.” As he trailed off you felt a hand start to glide across your stomach and your breath hitched in your throat.

“I whihll khihhill yhohhuhu,” you giggled out. You were trying to be as quiet as possible so you wouldn’t wake Alex.

“You do know I’m a ghost, right?” he reminded you.

You choose not to answer that one in favor of holding your mouth shut so your laughter would stay in.

“You know what ghosts are really good at though-” he paused; you were absolutely certain you could hear his smile.

“Ghosting.”

You felt his fingertips lightly make contact with your hip bones. You tried to squirm away but Luke was strong, and he had a good hold on you. But when you felt his hands start to glide across your hips, you grew desperate enough that you managed to roll off of him.

He looked rather smug at your giggly smile as you laid on the floor.

“I hate you,” you breathed out.

Luke almost let out a loud laugh at that one. “As tempting as it probably is, no you don’t.”

“No, no I don’t,” you admitted with a sparkle in your eyes.

You crawled up to him again. “Because I will always love you.”

He looked into your eyes with a serious demeanor. “I love you too, always.”

“Good, so we both agree that we’re stuck with each other,” you joked.

Luke placed his head on your shoulder. “Forever and ever y/l/n.”

You rested yours against his. “Forever and ever Patterson.”

[firelxdykatara]

i get why a lot of ppl, especially SoC-only (or primarily) fans, are disappointed with the crows, particularly kaz’ characterization. i do. but at the same time, i think the biggest reason i’m not (and i only watched the show for the crows&ben barnes to begin with) is because i knew this pretty much had to happen. it’s the only way they could make the crows fit into the s&b storyline--and i’m reasonably sure that they had to make them fit to draw viewers, because s&b just isn’t enough on its own (even with ben barnes knocking it outta the park) given the constraints under which they were working.

(am i shading leigh? possibly. just a bit. cough.)

they couldn’t meaningfully change s&b itself--except mal’s characterization&storyline, to make him and malina more palatable to the audience. (which i almost wish they hadn’t? because as it is now, they’re just kind of... boring. if mal kept his book characterization, at least i could be properly angry at him instead of just zoning out during his scenes. and it kind of sucks because i love archie, he just wasn’t given much to work with.) and if it were just shadow&bone, i suspect that a whole lot of viewers wouldn’t bother tuning in. i know i wouldn’t--i’d have gone to youtube for the darkling/darklina scenes and ignored the rest, and i know i’m not the only one. so they had to do something to really hook viewers and make sitting through the less engaging parts of the show worthwhile.

but therein lies the rub. because Six of Crows and The Grishaverse Trilogy are fundamentally different genres. they may exist in the same fantasy world, but they do not fit together thematically. the characters wouldn’t really work in each other’s worlds--and that sort of tonal clash could have worked in the show, except that they were already running up against the problem of the crows completely overshadowing alina’s narrative, even though she’s supposed to be the centerpoint of the story.

it’s shadow and bone with crows for added flavor, not six of crows with a bit more emphasis on magic. (sorry: Small Science. which still kind of makes me laugh but. yknow.)

if the crows were just like their book counterparts--if kaz were every bit as brilliant and brutal, especially--there... wouldn’t be any room for the s&b storyline. no one would pay it any mind. you already have the ‘six of crows can exist without shadow and bone, shadow and bone can’t exist without six of crows’ problem--and it really is a problem, which i suspect could have been corrected if leigh weren’t an executive producer--but that would’ve been turned up to 11 if the crows, and kaz in particular, were more true to who they were in the books. you can’t have a meaningful thematic&tonal clash if one half of it gets completely obliterated by the other, and the s&b side of the story just wouldn’t stand a chance.

you even kind of see it with nina&matthias, whose storyline existed completely separate from the main show until the very end of the season and who followed their SoC backstory beat for beat. they pulled off the enemies-to-grudging-allies-to-almost-friends-to-maybe-something-more and right back to enemies with The Betrayal, and when you contrast that with the way we all know darklina is going to be treated.... the difference is striking. and helnik was extremely distracting in terms of the overall narrative, mostly bc i was quite happy to forget that s&b was the focus any time they were on screen. and it may partially be my own bias, but i think it says something that there could have been a helnik-centric show, or even just an entire episode, and they could have easily stood on their own in a way that malina (which is supposed to be the true central romance of the series) simply can’t.

ultimately, what i think the show suffered most from was leigh calling the shots and refusing to allow any meaningful change from the original storyline. a lot of what makes the s&b segments better than the book is simply jessie’s phenomenal acting (and ben’s, of course), but once you get past her dazzling smile and charisma, you realize that alina really doesn’t have any more agency here than she did originally. she makes almost no choices independently--when she does decide to do something, it’s almost always because of mal, making her storyline revolve around him in a way that was ultimately detrimental to her character and the show as a whole--and even things like discovering the darkling’s true intentions are dumped in her lap rather than her taking any initiative. she is buffeted this way and that by the Plot’s whims, and her characterization is all over the place. again, jessie does amazingly with what she’s given and it’s a delight to watch her on screen, but the writing just doesn’t hold up under scrutiny.

they simply couldn’t bring the full power of SoC’s phenomenal writing and characterization to bare, here, without completely destroying the central storyline and making everyone wonder why we’re even bothering with the Grisha when the crows are so much more interesting and thematically resonant.

[smutandfluffohmy]

His Sweater #4

From: Smutandfluffohmy Pairings: George Weasley X Slytherin!Reader A/N:  How would y’all feel about George and the reader having a child?? (Not now, homeboy can’t even look at you much less take your pants off) Wait! Read it from the start (Part 1) Part 2? look no further (Part 2) The trilogy, but not really (Part 3)

Hanging on to George I tried to look anywhere but down or up. Where was there left to look? at the speeding trees passing us or perhaps Fred doing tricks on his broom? “Where are we going now?” I said clinging on the his shirt that I was sure going to be a wrinkly mess once we land.

“How about a drink and some food?” George yelled giving me a quick smile before looking back. Brooms the awful things, hypothetical I should learn how to ride one but the bloody things have no security.

“I’d l-” I smiled looking at him, Fred flew next to us interrupting me not even halfway.

“Merlin yes Hermione told me of this muggle place that’s in Diagon Alley.” Fred said flying under us, brilliant exotic muggle foods in Diagon Alley.

“Actually Y/n and I were thinking w-” George started saying and I frankly did not know what we were thinking as I for one was in fact I was wondering what food muggles ate.

Fred came back on the other side “Thinking about getting breakfast? Brilliant let’s go.” He said and I wondered what mental hoops he has his brain jump through to get to the conclusion of us wanting to eat breakfast at noon.

They landed the brooms in Diagon Alley that had a drastically different feel to it when it was not crowded by Hogwarts students. It all felt more grown up and I was starting to worry wee would get ratted out for being out of school. However we walked through the streets and sat down to eat without being thrown into Diagon Alley jail, I suspect that it had something to do with out frizzy hair and the twins towering over everyone.

Humming I looked over the menu, trying to figure out the odd names and what on earth was written down.‘hot dog’ blimey the muggles truly are ruthless if they serve up dog on a bun. Fred got up to go to the restroom and I for one was glad I could have some quiet without his excessive finger drumming which the worse part was that he didn't;t even play the drums.

George watched till Fred had disappeared behind the door before he even looked back at me. “You know I really meant what I said.” He said leaning in towards me, his forearms resting on the table top.

Leaning in I did the same “About marriage?” I questioned, while indeed a flattering offer I wouldn’t be too thrilled on getting marriage out of a business contract.

“No?” He mused, squinting at me as if it would further help him read my mind and with the look he was giving me I wondered for a second if he did in fact have that ability.

“Fred being a git?” I asked filling my head with bizarre thoughts to throw him off if he truly indeed was able to look into my mind.

“Yes but I mean about going out sometime.” He said, softer as if he were testing the waters to see my reaction. Perhaps I was wrong. He couldn’t read my thoughts.

I couldn’t help my face grow red at his suggestion. I guess this was what we were thinking on the ride over “Oh.” Was all I could say. After all how can you clearly answer when the guy you’ve been smitten with was a few inches away from you.

His eyes got big and frighten and his face drained of all color “If you don’t want to we don't have to I can go obliviate myself right now I-” He started going on, it’s something I learned about him. Whenever he gets particularly thrown off his mouth starts going speeds his brain can’t keep up with.

I reached over to gently pat his hand but by the way he reacted you would thought I reached over to strike him “George I ne-” I started to say, apparently interrupting people mid thought was a skill both twins were versed in. George started looking through his pockets and patting himself down.

“Merlin I can’t find my wand. Do you have your wand on you?” He said turning to me before rapidly looking away. I’ve seen him stunned but never to the point of obliviating himself, it was weird seeing the usually collected Weasley be so skittish.

“George calm d-”

He shook his head at me as if that were to make me disappear from were I sat. “I could always throw myself off my broom done it countless times what’s one more really.” He reasoned with himself, a skill I now knew he lacked greatly in.

Reaching over the table I clasped his hands down on the table “Merlin Weasley calm down I never said no.” I said looking at him wondering if perhaps I knocked my head a bit too hard and was now dreaming this all up. A peculiar dream but a dream none the less.

“Are you saying no now?” He looked at me trying to size me up, see if my eyes could give away the answer but I think if eyes held that much power I would’ve passed my O.W.L.S with much better marks.

“What? No! I’d love to go out sometime.”

“Alright that’s good. Swell indeed.” George gave me a tight smile but the color never returned to his face “I need to lie down I feel my heart about to explode.” He said and for a minute I wondered if I need to check his temperature and if I was even equipped to know the difference in a persons body temperature.

“I think it’s all the hash-browns you ate.” I said getting up from my seat to look at the state of him, I’d be real awful if I had accidentally killed him. He gave out a small laugh, not one that was earned but one that let me know that, at least for now, he was fine.

“George get off my seat.” Fred said swatting at his head and with that George sat up, noticeably more red but at least some of the color had returned to his face. “So what did I miss?”

George looked at the rather dull wall, in what I suspect that he suspect if he were to look at his brother he would know everything that happened in the time it took him to pee. “Nothing that concerns you Fredrick.” I said looking over the muggle menu for the tenth time waiting for the words to shift into something more comprehensible than ‘Coca-cola’.

Fred didn't believe us for a second and it was probably written all over our faces but how would I know. “Fine keep your secrets.” He said squinting his eyes at us before picking up and putting down the menu in front of him. “So how are we going to tell mum we dropped out?”

My blood ran cold at the thought that they had left out a vital plan out. Surving their mum, who I've heard various Weasley children say was rather scary, long enough to even set up shop.“You didn’t tell her?!”

George snapped out of his viewing of the rather bland wall “No figured we’d figure it out once we got to that part but” He said scratching below his eyebrow faking a deep thought that I knew he wasn’t capable of having.

“You complete our plans so well that we’re leaving it up to you.” Fred said airing fake responsibilities my way which I fake aired back to him rather aggressively.

“How generous.” I said with a tight lipped smile “I’m not doing it.” I shrugged leaning back on my chair and playing with a relatively loose button on my sweater.

Fred got quiet looking from George to me as if the answer to them living yet another day was encrypted there, somewhere. “You can snog George if you do it.” He said that made both George and I turn to look at each other with beat red faces, my hand tended making the button come off in my hand.

“Fred!” George said looking at his brother in utter disbelief and truly utter betrayal, I kicked Fred under the table wanting more than anything to melt into my seat.

He looked stunned as if he didn’t ruin out totally meticulous pinning we had come to perfect and that was all part of a bigger scheme and not at all because either of us were too scared to say anything.  “What! You’re both always drooling over each other anyways.”

I was at complete loss for words “I’m not going to do it even less.” I said trying to figure out what muggle song was playing if one at all.

“Ouch Georgie that hurt me a bit.” Fred laughed shoving George who I suspect also wished to kick Fred in the shins. Rubbing my temple I wondered if they left all working brain cells at Hogwarts or if they had fallen out on the broom ride over here.

“Hypothetically if I agreed to help you. I would say to have a clear thought out plan of how the shop is going to run, a layout, business transaction you’ve already done, some product-” I started speaking feeling myself get lost in the meticulously planning they had obviously neglected or perhaps just conveniently forgotten about.

Fred rapped his knuckles against the table giving me a smile. A smile George often has and despite having similar faces this smile fit differently on Fred. “I hear what you’re saying and I can’t wait for you to think that all over to show our mum. You’ll love her come on.” Fred smiled pushing out of his chair and making his way to the door, thrilled I didn’t have to eat any weird foods but disappointed at trying to figure out what exactly they were getting at.

Getting up I walked quickly to catch up with Fred “No you’re going to have to tell her yourself.” I said pulling Fred by the arm, knowing full well hell stroll out of here and force me to tell their mum as to why exactly they had already probably received a letter from Hogwarts.

“She is our mum.” George said shrugging behind me.

Fred looked over my head, a habit I wished they would both kick, to look at his brother in utter disbelief “Oi what’s this? Two against one isn’t fair.” Fred said pointing between the two of us giving me a look that if it were for not them doing the exact same thing to me I would feel utterly horrid.

“If we do it now we can catch her with Remus and Tonks, she won't come down at us that bad is she’s there.” George reasoned with him, an awful reasoning but a reasoning none the less. I don’t suspect our ex DADA Professor would back them up on their plan and although I did not know who Tonks was nor her character she must be really cool to back up their poorly thought out plan.

Fred huffed walking to get his broom“Fine whatever. Bloke is already whipped, what hope is there left.” he whispered, badly and rather loudly, I threw the button I had in my hand at his head “Ouch! I didn’t say anything.”

“I told him he’s shit at whispering.” I said rolling my eyes at the back at Fred’s head that he was rubbing. I know for a fact it didn’t hurt him, if he can tells bludgers to the head he’ll live with a brown button being thrown at it.

George bumped my shoulder “I think I owe you a snog.” he said laughing.

“Shut up.”

He walked in front of me stopping me in my tracks, he really was tall and for a second I wondered just how tall “How about that date?” he asked

“Let’s see if you’ll live long enough for that.” I laughed walking around him, I wonder if I could slip it into conversation or if that was just an incredibly rude thing to ask.

“You’re not coming with us?” He asked

“God no I don’t want your first impression your mum has of me is that I’m irresponsible.”

“But you are irresponsible!” Fred called out to me as he mounted on his broom, next time I see him I should give him a good wack with it.

I turned my attention away from George to throw a finger to Fred who promptly did the same “Shove off.” I called out to him, which earned me the disapproving glares from some elderly couple. Who I think would do the same if they were in my more fashionable and probably more gun powder smothered shoes.

“See you later?” George asked as he got on his own broom. Next time I’ll make sure to bring a portkey, at least you can’t swallow a whole colony of bugs in a portkey.

“Not if I see you first.” I said smiling walking the opposite direction of the seemingly dreadful scene that awaits them. They took on Umbridge and I’m more than sure that their mum is loads better than that woman. But I guess in all fairness he-who-shall-not-be-named is probably more agreeable than she is.

A couple days passed and George wrote to me saying that their mum was crossed they dropped out without them telling her. A sentiment that I think if they would’ve told her she’d probably nail their robes to the school. He also said Tonks was rather excited for them and that I simply must meet her. He also wrote that we should have our date at the end of the week at 10pm.

Knocking on the door I began to wonder if my outfit was even appropriate to were he was taking me. The door swung open before I could give more thought into my choice of clothes.

“Oh hello dear you must be the girl George has been telling us so much about!” Mrs. Weasley said taking me into a hug, she had the same vibrant red hair as all of her children and the same kind eyes George had. Fred however I reckoned stole his eyes from the bloody devil himself.

“I swear he talks about you whenever you’re not around.” Fred said making talking motions with his hands and fake gagging at the thought of it. As if he himself didn’t also spend most of his time talking to me.

“What? No I don't!” George said between varying shades of red, an accomplishment I would've found rather amusing if not for my own face heating up.

Thumbing could be heard of someone coming down the stairs “Fred hav- oh this must be the girl George talks about all the time.” Who I assumed to be Mr.Weasley said and further solidifying my theory on Freds eyes.

I smiled at both of them “Hi it’s very nice to meet you.”  I said sticking my hand out for a proper greeting before it got yanked by George.

“We should get going.” he said waving his family off, for a second I forgot that we were not sticking around. I had so many things I wanted to talk about like Mr.Weasleys muggle studies and if he knows how those miniature jukeboxes work and how Mrs.Weasley make the warmest sweaters.

“Bu-” Was all I could say, not only because I was cut off but because I did not know were or if I even had a formed thought to continue that sentence.

George said over me dragging me away “Bye don’t wait up!”

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” Fred called out to him before earning a smack on the arm from Mrs.Weasley.

“What wouldn’t you do?” George shouted at him and I wondered what in fact wouldn't he do besides actually come up with a reasonable non-lethal plan.

“George Weasley remember what we talked about!” Mrs.Weasley called out to George was tugging at my arm to drag me to his broom faster.

“I remember!” he called out dismissing them with a wave. I do not know what they had talked about and wondered if this was a werewolf situation and if it was I don’t think I’m prepared to be turned or mauled into one. Although I don’t thing anyone is ever ready for that.

“It was nice meeting you Mrs. and Mr. Weasley!” I called out waving goodbye to them the best I could and I could only guess they were waving at me too.

“It was nice meeting you too dear!” Mrs. Weasley called to me, I hope I could get the chance to talk to her again. George hurried me on towards the broom without another looks back at his family.

“What was that about?” I questioned that I both did and did not want the answers to. If I was being turned into a werewolf I rather it being kept a fun surprise.

“Nothing. Close your eyes.”He said standing in front of me motioning me to sit on the broom which I in fact did not do. “You don’t trust me?”

In all reality I trusted him with my life, however I did not entirely trust him with my life on a broom “I trust that you won’t let me die but I reckon if I fall off the broom you won’t notice.” 

He smiled down at me placing his hands on my arms “I’ll notice before you hit the ground.”

“Charming.”

Crossing his heart he beckoned me to sit down “I swear I’ll take care of you.” He said and I swore I would melt as pathetic as that did sound.

Nodding I sat down and closed my eyes “Okay fine I’m trusting you on this.” I murmured. Time passed just like how kilometers passed but I could not entirely say just how many as I did promise to keep my eyes closed. George landed the broom with I took as cue that I could both open my eyes and I was in fact not dead. “Where are we?” I asked, the field around us was empty but filled with flowers and the spots that weren't were layered with grass. 

George tugged me towards an already set up spot with a blanket laid out and various other things set on top of it that I couldn’t exactly make out “If I tell you it won’t be as impressive.” He sat down on the blanket “Come sit.” He beckoned me over patting the spot next to him. We both laid down looking up at the stars, I’ve never seen them this bright and it made me a bit cross that if I knew they looked like this I would've payed more attention in class. 

George pointed up at the sky  “That star looks like you.” I moved closer to see which one he was pointing at. He got a jelly bean out of the box and ate one “Yack lawn clippings.” he said through some disgusted chewing then proceeded to offer me one.

I put it in my mouth cautiously chewing swearing that if I got a barf flavored one I’d personally have a word with the creators “Dead?Popcorn.” I said thankful it wasn’t awful but also confused as to how exactly they made a jelly bean taste of popcorn. He took out more jelly beans handing some over to me before putting one in his mouth.

He smiled at me and for the second time in my life I felt completely stricken by George Weasley “No radiant.Hot chocolate.” He said breaking my fleeting train of thought that had become increasingly harder to keep up with, with him around.

Shaking my head I couldn't help but feel embarrassed, a feeling I often felt around him but never this strong.Never enough to make me at loss for words. “You’re such a sap.” I laughed looking at the star he pointed at trying to commit it to memory, but it seemed the more I looked the more it looked like all the other stars.

“You make me one.” He said turning to me before eating another jelly bean “Cherry Fizz. What did you get?” He asked turning to me, propping myself up with one hand not particularly minding the rocks gently digging against my palm.

“Hmm I don’t know what are the flavors again?” I said reaching over to the box but before I could George grabbed my hand in his. His face was dangerously close to mine and I was overly aware of my breathing.

I leaned in closer trying to ignore the loud beating of my heart that I could feel through my body.His other hand cupped the side of my face that he caressed with his thumb. He broke the small distance his lips softly pressed against mine, he smelt of the outdoors and fireworks and I could feel myself getting lost in it.

His hand moved from my hand to my knee, the two being fairly closed together but feeling I got in the pit of my stomach made me lean into his touch. My hand rested on his arm, touching the sweater I made my familiar acquaintance with last year.

He broke the kiss giving me the same goofy smile I’ve seen plenty of times but for once I knew why “I think it’s butterbeer.” He said slightly out of breathe, my lip gloss was smeared all over his mouth and I suspect mine as well. What was that rule? No kissing on the first date? Whoever made that up has obviously never been star gazing with George Weasley.

What felt like minutes had passed before I could trust myself with my voice again. “You’re going to be the death of me Weasley.” I whispered, my heart felt tight and my palms were sweaty. I wanted to reach over and cup his face but I was afraid this moment will disappear if I made any movements out fo script.

It wasn’t till the end of the year did George, Fred and I hear the news about Sirius Blacks passing. Everyone blamed themselves swearing that if it they were just there ,a minute earlier, if they hadn’t stoped for that cup of coffee three days ago everything would be different, Sirius would still be alive. But I don’t think that the case, I think more of us or someone else might be dead if we were all there. Death is unpredictable and we are all just one wrong move away from it.

I do feel bad for Harry. Seeing your Godfather die in front of you must be an awful thing. I feel bad sometimes, smiling, especially smiling in front of him. I feel like I’m mocking him but I hope he knows that those aren’t my intentions.Hermione keeps saying that time will make things better but time hasn’t been feeling the same.

Time all together feels altered. Everything moves at speeds it’s not supposed to but I reckon that's the effect looming danger has on people. I cannot tell how long I’ve been dating George Weasley but it’s been long enough that I know he’s fond of sweets but only after 12, he thinks muggles know more than they’re letting on, pranks are better without a purpose and balls of yarn are great for baby quidditch.

[emilococo]

Basically, it's Fairly Odd Parents in the Milo Coco style!

While we all wish that 'Fairly Odd Parents' didn't overstay its welcome, there was a time when we thought the show was more than "fairly" good. As a child, this Nickelodeon cartoon about average boy Timmy Turner and the magical adventures he has with his fairy godparents Cosmo and Wanda granted me a lot of enjoyment in its peak.

What worked about FOP was how it managed to put fantasy creatures into a contemporary setting, it was able to apply cartoon based humour to the cyclical structure of a fairy tale. The show followed its own formula, which Timmy would use wishing to improve his life. But these wishes would lead to certain consequences, that way, it would work morals into its stories. It really showed what type of wishes a child would make if they could happen in our world. It played around with tropes, as the depictions of mythological beings and wishes turned out differently than you'd expect.

Its use of gag-related humour was both sharp and funny. The show could get tongue-in-cheek with how characters referred to plot points, like how the opposite circumstances happen. The designs are formed from geometric shapes and bold outlines, they still have a distinctive flare. The animators were able to magically bring life to these ideas with snappy timing. 

The characters were able to pull off these goofy lines with sincerity. Timmy was one the younger viewers could sympathise with and learn from. Both Cosmo and Wanda worked well off each other, as the dim-witted comic relief and nagging voice of reason. The other characters managed to leave an impact with their exaggerated traits, like the conspiracy nut Crocker. Who pursuits to prove the existence of fairies. Yet he reacts and fails in an over the top manner. Sure the writing could be hokey and the characters would become victims of 'flanderization', it still made up for it with a good balance of humour and morals. 

But after a brief hiatus, FOP introduced the fourth wheel to the main cast. When Cosmo himself gave birth to the fairy baby, Poof (yes....really). For many fans, this was seen as the point where the show jumped the shark through a giant pair of scissors (so to speak). Something definitely felt 'odd', but we all thought what could possibly go wrong? Well, the writing was starting to become less witty and charming, often relying more on pop culture and sophomoric humour. The characters' flanderization became more apparent, as they were reduced to their exaggerated traits. The supporting characters were put to the side; while more main characters were added as it went on. Now I for one don't blame Poof (as I like his character design), and I do think the second half of seasons do contain certain gems if you know where to look for them. But when Sparky was added, that's when I felt the show started to run on fumes. Did the last 2 seasons need to exist? I ask you.

If there's any point where FOP lost any dignity it still had, it would be the live-action movies. What could have been a funny/whimsical coming of age story that passes the wand to a new generation failed to utilise it's characters. The acting is ham and cheese, the production values are camp; what may have been funny in the original series does not translate to live-action. And for what, to completely contradict the ending that 'Channel Chasers' had set up. They're not the worst trilogy of films, but still, they’re not the conclusion viewers would’ve hoped for. When you put them together they leave you so disenchanted, you wonder if the show was ever good in the first place. For many fans, this made them realise that the show (for lack of a better term) lost its magic.

If 'A Fairly Odd Movie' was good (or at least decent) and the series ended right there and then; people would probably hold FOP in similar regard to 'Phineas and Ferb' and 'Futurama'. Not necessarily as one of the deepest shows or comedy gold, but the series had a charm that was all its own. But alas, it just became another children's franchise. But it no longer became what we remember it to be. Sadly, Cosmo and Wanda kept their incumbency, until it was eventually put out of its misery. Even though I still look back fondly on Timmy's earlier wishes, the reputation of them and their creator have been forever tarnished.

With the news of a live-action retelling, maybe Cosmo and Wanda's story could be told in a different timeline instead. It doesn't have to stay in Dimmsdale. But that's just wishful thinking. 

Fairly Odd Parents belongs to its respected owners and creators.

[acesydneysage]

A Sydney and Eddie retrospective

@vablappreciationweek Favorite familial relationship: The Melrose Twins

Part 2, Books 4-6: The Heartbreaking Trilogy, Why Are You Doing This To Me This Is So Sad

Part 1 here

In The Fiery Heart, Sydney and Eddie definitely already love each othe like siblings. By the end of the book they prove that in the most painful way possible, but let's ge through some cuteness first while I steel my heart.

We get Adrian's perspective on this book, so it's nice to see Eddie talking about Sydney when she isn't around:

“Because it’s Sydney,”said Eddie from the backseat. In the rearview mirror, I could see an easy smile on his face, though there was a perpetual sharpness in his eyes as he scanned the world for danger. He and Neil had been trained by the guardians, the dhampir organization of badasses that protected the Moroi. “Giving one hundred percent to a task is slacking for her.”

When Sydney wants to soften Zoe's extreme opinions on vampires, she picks Eddie to be Zoe's driving instructor because she wants "someone approachable and friendly who’d show her not all dhampirs were evil creatures of the night."

When Sydney is being a sappy romantic and describes what love is to the group, Eddie is the one who lingers looking at her the longest, he can tell something is different about her. They really know each other by now. When Eddie let's Zoe drive outside of the parking lot, he knows Sydney so well that he knows what she's going to say, and what to say to make it better:

“I can’t believe Eddie of all people would do that. It’s irresponsible.”She nodded. “He said you’d say that and that I should tell you, ‘At least it wasn’t Angeline.’”I couldn’t help it. I laughed at that. “That’s true. He does have limits.”

Later when she tells Zoe frivolity might not be such a bad thing, they have a sweet little moment:

“Sometimes frivolity isn’t a bad thing.” Eddie, who didn’t seem put out about the dance, grinned. “Sydney, when we first met, I never would’ve thought those words could come out of your mouth. What happened to you?” Everything, I thought. I met his grin with one of my own. “We all need some fun. We should forget that dance and go out and see a movie that night. When was the last time we all did that?”“I think the answer is ‘never,’” said Jill.

When Neil comes up with his crazy plan to test the Stigoi vaccine, Eddie is very shaken up by the similarities to the event in Spokane that lead to Mason's death. While Sydney thinks that "if Eddie was involved, one Strigoi seemed feasible", what finally convinces Eddie to go is her magic. Although Neil puts her on the spot, she does ultimately make the choice to trust him with this dangerous knowledge about her:

Eddie wasn’t swayed, and there was a look on his face I’d never seen before. “I’m not denying the principles, but it’s too dangerous. And not just to you. I did something like this once . . .” A pain so intense that it tore at my heart crossed Eddie’s features. “Me and some friends. We thought we could take on Strigoi . . . and my best friend ended up dead. No matter how prepared you think you are, even against only one, the unexpected can happen.” [...] The more this got out, the more trouble I was in. And yet, as I looked into Eddie’s steady gaze, I was reminded of our friendship and all we’d been through. In a world of secrets and lies, there were few I could thoroughly trust anymore, but I knew then, without a doubt, that Eddie was one I could. Taking a deep breath, hoping I wasn’t being a fool, I held out my hand. A nervous glance around confirmed we were alone, and I brought forth a spark of fire in my palm that soon grew into the size of a tennis ball. Eddie leaned over and gasped, the orange flames reflecting off his face. “Maybe . . . maybe our odds have gotten better,” he said.

During the fight with the Strigoi they go after, we get a little more about their similarities, how they're both so dedicated to helping others, and they both seriously admire each other so much. You get a bit of that from Sydney's perspective,and how much she cares about Eddie:

I knew what agony Eddie had to be in because I shared it. We both wanted to help Neil. Doing nothing, even for a handful of seconds, went against every part of our beings. [...] For his part, Eddie was magnificent. It had been a while since I’d seen him fight, and I’d nearly forgotten that the adopted brother I joked and ate lunch with was a lethal warrior. [...] I had to act. I couldn’t just stand by and let Eddie be annihilated, not if there was anything I could do.

After the fight, Sydney is caught up in the euphoria of surviving a near death experience, and she makes pretty much zero effort to hide her relationship with Adrian from Eddie:

As soon as I was on the road with Eddie and Jill, I told them, “I need to see Adrian. Drop me off and take my car. He’ll give me a ride back.” Eddie looked totally surprised by that. “Why do you need to see him?” “I just do.” I didn’t feel like attempting an excuse, and Eddie wasn’t the type to badger me. The most I got was a curious look when we reached the apartment. His curiosity turned to panic when he realized I’d be leaving him alone with Jill. “Good luck,”I said as I got out, not entirely sure who needed it the most.

When Eddie figures out that they're together she tries to avoid the conversation, expecting condemnation, but he's very supportive. This is the last conversation they have before everything falls apart, and everything I tried to remove to shorten it felt like an important character moment, but the most relevant parts are bolded:

“Sydney . . .”Eddie’s light mood vanished, and even with my eyes on the road, his tone tipped me off that something serious was about to happen. “About that. About you going to Adrian’s . . .”I felt a tightening of my throat and couldn’t answer immediately. “Don’t talk about that,” I said. “Please.” “No, we need to.” Eddie knew. Eddie knew, and if the subject wasn’t so dire, I would’ve laughed. He was oblivious to his own social affairs, but guardians were trained to watch and observe. Eddie did that, and no doubt he’d picked up all sorts of little things between Adrian and me. We tried so hard to hide from the Alchemists, but hiding from our friends, who knew us and loved us, was impossible. “Are you going to lecture me?” I asked stiffly. “Tell me I’m breaking taboos that have been in place for centuries to preserve the purity of our races?” “What?” He was aghast. “No, of course not.” I dared a look. “What do you mean ‘of course not’?” “Sydney, I’m your friend. I’m his friend. I’d never judge you, and I’d certainly never condemn you.” “A lot of people think what we’re doing is wrong.” It felt strange and oddly relieving to acknowledge my relationship with Adrian to another person. “Well, I’m not one of them. If you guys want it . . . that’s your business.” “Everyone’s suddenly very liberal about this,” I said with wonder. “I just heard a similar thing from Trey and Angeline—about their own relationship, that is. Not about . . . other people’s.” “I think my ill-fated time with Angeline may be part of it,” he said, with more humor than I expected, considering she’d cheated on him. “She talked enough about her people that after a while, it didn’t seem that weird. And, well, my race exists because humans and Moroi got together and had kids way back when.”I felt a smile start to grow on my lips. “Adrian says it wouldn’t be fair to the world if he and I had kids, what with the overwhelming power of our collective charm, brains, and good looks.” Eddie laughed outright, not something I heard very often, and I found myself laughing too. “Yeah, I can see him saying something like that. And that’s the thing, I think . . . the real reason I’m not that weirded out by you two. It goes against all sound logic, but somehow, you two together . . . it just works.” “‘Against all sound logic,’” I repeated. “Isn’t that the truth.” A little of his amusement faded. “But that’s not what worries me. Or the morality of it. It’s your own people I’m worried about. How long are you going to be able to go on like this?” I sighed as I took the exit for the meeting spot. “As long as the center holds.”

Eddie thinks Sydney and Adrian make sense. Obviously I agree that they absolutely do, but on a surface level it doesn't look like it. You have to know them and have a better understanding of their personalities to figure out how they actually fit together. What he's worried about is the Alchemists. Of course, by this point, since the ending of TFH is a sadistically drawn out torture, we already know from the ending of the last chapter that she's about to be captured.

I made it the door first... and found Eddie. His clothes were dirty and torn, and the right side of his face was swollen and red. There was a wild, half-crazed look in his eyes I’d never seen before. A feeling of dread settled over me, and the darkness and despair and fear that had left me alone for so long began to rear their collective ugly head. I knew, even without Eddie saying a word, what had to have happened. I knew because of that terrible look of pain on his face, a pain similar to when he hadn’t been able to save Mason. [...] “Adrian,” he gasped out. “I tried, I tried. There were too many. I couldn’t stop them.” He came forward and gripped my arm. “I tried, but they took her. It was a setup. I don’t know where she is. She tricked me, damn it! I never would have left her if she hadn’t tricked me!”

When they figure out it's a trap and he tells her to run, her first instinct was that she couldn't leave him behind. When they're running together through the woods the Alchemists start shooting at Eddie, specifically. He's running at Sydney's pace and she knows he would never leave her, the he would die to save her. And she knows she could not let him die.

Eddie won’t leave me, I thought frantically. He’ll never leave me. They want me, but they don’t care about him. He can live or die, and it won’t matter to them. But if he’s what’s keeping them away, they’ll shoot him and destroy his body. “Eddie,”I said, panting. “We need to split up.” “Never.” That answer wasn’t a surprise. What was a surprise was that out of all the things rattling around in my mind, Abe Mazur’s words popped up in the forefront:. Don’t think for an instant that I wouldn’t do terrible, unspeakable things if it could save someone I love. Because it was Abe, I’d naturally assumed he was talking about doing terrible, unspeakable things to other people. But as Eddie and I held on to each other, the words took on a whole different meaning. In that moment, I knew I would do anything to save Eddie—my friend—whom I loved. Even if it meant doing something terrible and unspeakable to myself.

The first thing established in the first paragraph of Bloodlines is that re-education is Sydney's greatest fear, literally her worst nightmare. But she faces that, she walks right back and turns herself in in order to keep Eddie safe. She tricks him into spliting up by claiming that it's part of a spell, and he believes her because he's seen her do extraordinary things.

“I tried,” he whispered. “Adrian, I tried. I never would have ever left her if I’d known. I would have stayed with her to the end. I would have laid down my life and—” I had to forcibly hit the pause button on my own feelings as I dealt with his. Eddie had lost another person. It was bad luck, that was all. He was one of the most badass , capable guardians out there, but he couldn’t believe that about himself, not when he kept seeing these failures laid at his feet. Looking into his eyes, I recognized the intense self-loathing consuming him. I knew the feeling well because I was carrying around a fair amount of it myself. “I know you would have,” I said. “There was nothing you could do.” He shook his head and stared off with a haunted look. “I was an idiot. I never should’ve bought into that spell stuff. After what I’d seen her do with fire, it just seemed so . . . well, real. I believed her. It made sense.” I smiled without humor. “Because that’s what she does. She’s trained to make people believe things. And outsmart them. You didn’t have a chance.” She also was willing to trade her own life to save her friend’s, but no one had trained her to do that. It was just something within her. Eddie wasn’t going to be swayed so easily, and I left him to his grief as I huddled with mine.

When Sydney's captured, Eddie feels like he failed her, just as he'd failed Mason in Spokane, and Jill when the rebels killed her. But still, he has faith in her, that she can hold on to herself:

“How much can they really change her, though?” asked Eddie. “I mean . . . she’s Sydney. She’ll be the same . . . right? She can fight them.”

In Silver Shadows,Sydney is in re-education, and she still finds it in her to be worried about her friends on the outside. Eddie's humiliation and guilt over having lost Sydney killed the kindling romance he had with Jill. There isn't much he can do to help find her at this point.

Once they find a lead on where she is, going to her rescue is very important to Eddie, but he also feels conflicted about leaving Jill with less protection. When the time comes, Jill convinces them to take Eddie because he needed to be part of her rescue, he'd been consumed by guilt this whole time, and that might be the only thing that would allow him to feel redeemed.

With some urging from Jill, he leaves her behind, and goes off to break into a prison again, to rescue a much worthier prisoner this time. After getting mostof the prisoners out, Eddie and Adrian go back into the burning building to get Sydney and the remaining people. After they bring her out to freedom, they have this moment where they hold each other and cry, it always makes me so emotional:

Eddie came last, and as we sized each other up, the tears hovering in my eyes finally spilled. “Eddie, I’m so sorry I lied to you that night.” He shook his head and pulled me to him. I heard tears choke up his voice. “I’m sorry I couldn’t stop them. I’m sorry I wasn’t protection enough.” “Oh, Eddie,” I said, sniffling. “You’re the best protection. No one could have a better guardian than you. Or a better friend.”

I hope Eddie did feel redeemed, because Sydney pretty much immediately tricks him, and gives him the slip again. She does take the time to try to nudge his love life again first. Then she goes off with Adrian, going against the plan, because she thinks the other fugitives will be safer without her.

"Eddie shot me one last parting smile that nearly choked me up again." “I never thought I’d see Castile brought to tears,” said Adrian as he started up the Mustang. “This really hit him hard. Hell, it hit all of us hard, but he really beat himself up for it. He never forgave himself for you giving him the slip.” “Let’s hope he can,” I said, putting my seatbelt on. “Because it’s about to happen again. We aren’t meeting them at the safe house.”

Eddie was furious about this, but at least this time she didn't get captured. And soon enough he had something else to feel bad about, since Jill went missing right after he got back to her. She disppeared without a trace in the middle of the night, and there's another failure laid at Eddie's feet.

He's not in a great state in the beginning of The Ruby Circle:

Eddie appeared in the doorway. Seeing him almost always brought a smile to my face. In Palm Springs, we’d passed ourselves off as twins, sharing similar dark blond hair and brown eyes. But over time, he’d truly come to feel like a brother to me. I knew few others with such courage and loyalty. I was proud to call him my friend, and as such, it hurt me to see all the pain he felt over Jill’s disappearance. There was always a haunted look about him now, and sometimes I worried whether he was really taking care of himself. He hardly ever shaved anymore, and I had a feeling the only reason he bothered eating was so that he could keep training and stay in shape for when he located Jill’s abductors.

Sydney isn't doing all that great either, stuck in a hostile environment while she deals with her trauma and worries about Jill. When Sydney and Eddie sneak out of court to look for Jill, the power of Raptorbot can make him smile:

“It couldn’t have been that unexpected,” I argued. “I mean, why did he build a dinosaur body for her? Why not something more human? Or at least a more friendly animal?” “Because then there wouldn’t have been much of a movie,” said Eddie. “There’s still got to be a plausible backstory …” I said. A wry smile crossed Eddie’s features, and although the entire topic was absurd, I realized I’d hardly ever seen anything but a grim expression on his face since Jill had been taken. “I don’t think you can really sit down with a movie called Raptorbot Rampage and expect a plausible backstory,” he said. The attendant looked offended. “What are you suggesting? It was a fine piece of film. When the sequel comes out, people will be lined up out the doors to see this exhibit!” “Sequel?” Eddie and I asked in unison.

I love it when the twins talkin unison, even if they probably had opposite tones. And I really love Eddie being a fan of Raptorbot I'm sorry. He and Declan have matching Raptorbot pajamas, you can't change my mind. This is another exchange that screams siblings to me:

“We were probably his only customers today,” I remarked. “That’ll make us memorable—that and having someone who’s actually seen and liked Raptorbot Rampage.” “Hey,” warned Eddie. “Don’t judge until you’ve watched it.”

Later Sydney tries to tease him about it again, but he's focused on the search so his good humor doesn't come back. I think it's very sweet thet she saw something that had made him momentarily happy through the pain, and tried to press that button again.

Eddie is understandably very protective throughout this book. It's not paranoia if they're really out to get you, they actually run into Sydney's family, while they're trying to stay off the Alchemists' radar:

“Then get out of here. Hurry—before he comes out. Both of you.” I was stunned at this complete reversal in her behavior, but Eddie didn’t need to be told twice. He took hold of my arm and nearly dragged me to the car. “We’re going—now,” he ordered. I caught one last glimpse of Zoe before Eddie shoved me in the car, where Ms. Terwilliger sat waiting for us. A thousand emotions played over Zoe’s face as we peeled out, but I could only interpret a few. Sadness. Longing. As we quickly got back on the road, I found myself shaking. Eddie was driving and kept anxiously checking the rearview mirror. “No sign of pursuit,” he said. “She must not have been able to see which direction we went to tell him.” I slowly shook my head. “No … she didn’t tell him at all. She helped us.” “Sydney,” said Eddie, in a stern-but-trying-to-sound-kind voice, “she’s the one who turned you in the first time! The one who started that whole re-education nightmare.”

He doesn't really belive that Zoe had a change of heart, and he tries to be so gentle with Sydney, while anxiously trying to get her away.

With how sad he is in this TRC (he even has broody beard to show it), the bits where he gets excited about things are really adorable. He's very enthusiastic about meeting Malachi Wolfe:

“Are the Chihuahuas really trained to attack?” he asked. I couldn’t help but grin. “That’s what Wolfe claims. We’ve never seen them in action, though.” “I can’t wait to see his nunchucks.” “Do not touch them,” I warned. “Or any weapon, without permission. If he approves of you, he might lend you something too.” [...] “Oh, man,” breathed Eddie. “There really is a herd of them.” I’d seen Eddie fearlessly face down an attacking Strigoi, but he took an uneasy step back at the sound of the canine charge. I grinned and turned toward the door, waiting for Malachi Wolfe himself to answer.

There's a lot of hugging after Sydney leaves re-education. Sydney and Eddie hug a lot, but just in general. Good for her it's what she deserves. "“Eddie,” Sydney exclaimed, running to give him a hug. He grinned back. “You guys okay?” "

When Sydney and Eddie are preparing to infiltrate the Warriors of Light as recruits, she gets a super strength spell while he gets super excited about it, and they have the cutest arm wrestle in history:

“And how much stronger?” asked Eddie eagerly. “Like lift-up-a-car stronger?” Maude smiled. “Sorry to disappoint, but no. [...]” She glanced between Eddie and Sydney speculatively, her smile growing. “I’d say you’re strong enough to hold your own with a dhampir in an arm wrestling match.” “I would kind of love to see that,” I admitted. Eddie’s face said he would as well. Sydney groaned. “Really? That’s so barbaric.” Eddie leaned over and propped his arm up on the table that had previously held the canteen. “Come on, Mrs. Ivashkov. Let’s do this. Besides, if you’re squeamish about arm wrestling, how are you going to handle going head-to-head with the Warriors?” [...] Ultimately, Eddie pushed his strength to its limit and finally defeated her, but not without her holding her own for a while. I held up her arm triumphantly, like a victor at a boxing match. “My wife, ladies and gentlemen. Beauty, brains, and now brawn.” “Awesome,” said Eddie, in a rare moment of delight.

He's really excited about human magic in general, such an adorable nerd. And again, they really do admire each other so much. Following Sydney's blackmailing the Alchemists: "I hung up, and Eddie regarded me with awe. “That was pretty badass. But do you actually think it’ll work?”"

In the epilogue, Eddie pulled strings to live with Sydney and Adrian as a Guardian, and he's one of the people who's in on Declan's secret. He even chooses to sleepin Declan's room.

I sprinted out of the room and up the stairs, to the bedroom that doubled as both a nursery and Eddie’s room. I had high enough royal rank to finally be assigned my own guardian, and Eddie, in that noble way of his, had pulled strings to be assigned to us. I’d initially protested because I wanted him to stay at Court and have a semi-normal dating life with Jill. Eddie, however, felt obligated to be with us—both out of friendship to Sydney and me and for all the times Neil had helped him. We’d offered to turn the house’s small study into Eddie’s own bedroom, but he always ended up sleeping in Declan’s room anyway.

I'm really glad they didn't get separated by the end, it always makes me happy to think about them living together.

[writingsfromhome]

Nuclear Family V

Part Five: Some Things Never Change

A/N: I’ve reread and rewrote and finally wrapped this up! It got really long because I didn’t want to drag it into another part, but I did include an epilogue--I couldn’t help myself. Hope it lives up to the expectations! And thank you x100000 again for reading along <3

Part I / Part II / Part III / Part IV / Part V

---------------

The next morning, we sit down together and soothe Charlie's worries. Harry holds my hand at one point and we play the best acting gig either of us have ever played as we pretend there's not a ginormous unspoken trilogy between us. Charlie's tentative at first, but when Harry pulls her onto his knee and whispers something to her. She breaks into a giggle and hugs him. At least that was patched over, I think. But when Harry meets my eyes over her head, I look away. Some things might never be patched over.

I’d set up a play date this morning, thinking Charlie might have needed a distraction. It also gave me time to pack our things without her to distract me or feel the emotional baggage I was packing up too.

I had planned to find an air bnb, waking up at 7am to start searching. But when I updated Marc after he asked what I was doing that evening, he insisted we stayed with him. We’d lived together before, and he was almost always at work, so it gave us enough space.The best part was he lived in the same building as Harry; it was almost too perfect, and when I’d asked Charlie she was totally on board. Spending time with Marc while being able to take the elevator to see her dad sounded just sounded like her play place had expanded.

After Charlie leaves, and I’m almost done packing, I look for Harry to talk. I find him toweling his hair after his shower. He had to head out for shooting today so I needed to speak to him before he left or else he would think I slighted him. He notices me in the foggy mirror and turns, and I try not to find the towel tied around his waist distracting.

“Hey, so...I’ll be out of your hair today...no pun intended.” I laugh lamely after he continues to stare at me blankly. Okay, maybe his towel was more distracting than I’d like to admit. And this was an awkward conversation when we had so many unspoken things between us. “Um, so I found other accommodations finally. So we’ll move out and it’ll be like we planned initially?”

“Huh?” Harry freezes, arms in midair.

“I don’t know why it took me this long to find another place,” I blabber on. “But I think yesterday was kind of a wake up call? I shouldn’t have stayed this long anyway and-”

“Wait, Y/N, stop. You’re leaving?”

“Just the flat,” I finally look at him, he looks stony. “We’ll actually just be a few floors down staying with Marc, so it’s kind of perfect.”

“Marc?” A flame lights itself in his eyes, usually the colour of a spring field, they’ve now turned into a field of ashes as he realises what I’m saying. “You’re moving out? To Marc’s? Because of yesterday?”

“Yes, that’s what I just said.” I try to remain calm, but it’s hard when he’s acting like this. “Harry, yesterday just made me realise I’d lost sight of the horizon or whatever. We were never supposed to live with you for this reason! We knew when we planned this that it would complicate things. I was just so obsessed with making Charlie’s birthday perfect I didn’t look for anywhere else, and her birthday was basically disastrous so that was useless. Now you can live freely, Miranda can come and go-”

“Oh and living with Marc won’t confuse Charlie?” Harry demands.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I think you know exactly what that mean Y/N. You’re being a bloody hypocrite-”

“What?!” I can’t keep the calm anymore. “I’m a hypocrite?”

“Yes! You! You think Charlie seeing Miranda and me together would confuse her yet you’re taking her to your boyfriend’s house-”

“Who said anything about my boyfriend--and how dare you sound so judgemental about that! Sorry I didn’t get the memo; Harry can have a girlfriend but Y/N can’t! She’s got to be the single virgin mother all by herself!”

“That’s not what I said!”

“No, I think it’s what you were trying to say! Being so fucking judgemental about my love life. This isn’t my fault! I’m not asking you shit, Harry!”

“What the fuck Y/N!” Harry whips the towel he was using for his hair onto the ground. My heart beats erratically in my chest; the last time we fought like this it was because I’d told him I was pregnant and it had ended really ugly. But the way he got under my skin, as hard as I wanted to be the mature one, I couldn’t. “You don’t have to be so bloody sarcastic all the time! I just don’t understand how living with Marc will be any better!”

“Marc’s barely every home, and he’s lived with us before, it’s worked out fine. Charlie adores him-”

“Oh yeah I bet she does! You would’ve loved it if Marc was her father yeah? He’s always had a thing for you, even when we were together. Now’s your chance to be a perfect little family with Marc!”

“I did not say that, don’t put words in my mouth-”

“Oh, but I think that’s what you were trying to say,” Harry mocks me. He’s a ball of rage as he stalks towards me. “I don’t understand your obsession with this guy and why he’s so close to Charlie!”

“You know Marc! We’ve been friends with him for-wait why am I defending myself? This isn’t about that!”

“Well I think it should be!”

“Where are you going with this Harry?!” I shout, putting my hands out to his chest as he continues walking towards me, as if maybe I could shield myself from his growing fury. “I don’t want to fight! I’m just trying to do what’s best for Charlie. And for us.” 

We stare at each other, uncomfortably close, chests heaving as the fire crackles low.

“Well, too late for that.” He says, but the snark is gone. “I’ve finally got Charlie living with me and you’re taking her away.”

“I-I’m not taking her away.” My voice rises immediately. “Don’t you dare say I’m taking her away!”

“You are!” He says stubbornly.

“What the fuck do you expect? You want me to stick around so it’s you, me, and Charlie? You want me to stay here and be miserable, have our kid be confused about what’s going on with who?”

“I don’t want you to be miserable, I just want us in one place!”

“We’re not this perfect little nuclear family you have in your head! We can’t be!”

“Not when you’re bringing the nuclear into the family,” Harry mutters immaturely.

“Oh my god, what’s wrong with you?!” I want to pull my hair out.

“What’s wrong with me is you’re taking away my daughter from me!”

My blood was just boiling now. I get in his face, “Harry, do you not remember that you never wanted us? You had the option to stay with me, while I was pregnant with Charlie. You had the option to hold your daughter the day she was born. You could’ve had all of it. Every step of the way! You chose not to, you let me go, you-you told me I could go...” I break off suddenly, so I didn’t sob as the memories rush back. I told everyone I was over it, I had processed it. But when Harry rejected me, he also rejected Charlie and I never got over that.

Harry hears my breath hitch, he backs away from my outstretched hands and I let them drop.

After a heavy silence, Harry speaks up: “Y/N I’m sorry. I heard what you said yesterday. I was up all night just thinking about it...”

“Well that’s wonderful for me,” I retreat into the comfort of sarcasm.

“No--you were right, I didn’t want commitment. I was bloody afraid of it. I was listening to everyone who said if I had a kid, my career would be over. I wanted to stay young, and I just let you deal with it by yourself. I was selfish and I wish I could go back and change everything.”

“Well that’s not much help now; you never once said any of this to me! You moved on--don’t deny it. I saw you in the tabloids, the media. You don’t think I kept track of you? I loved you! You’re the father of my kid, and while I was up on less than an hour of sleep trying to get your 2 month old to stop crying at 3am, you were out partying with models and getting smashed.”

“I couldn’t-I just spiraled-”

“Well it’s nice that your spiraling looks so much like partyingl” I roll my eyes. “Mine looked like crying in the bathtub with my ears ringing, and covered in baby vomit.” I cross my arms. I had held it in for four long years, it was about time I snapped, and I guess this was it.

“Y/N.” he turns away from me, rubbing his face. When he turns around, his heart is on his sleeve. “There were so many times I would pick up my phone and type in your number, just to hear your voice. Just to ask you about Charlie--it ripped me apart that I wasn’t there. That you weren’t here, with Charlie. You’d send me pictures of her and I would get so excited to see what she was up to, what new thing she learned...”

He breaks off, his face now shining with tears. He walks up to me and holds my hands, my heart tugs and I know I’m crying too. “Y/N when I held her for the first time when she was a few months old, and she looked up at me and smiled. I didn’t even know I could love like that. So I changed Y/N--tell me you saw me doing anything reckless after that first visit. I made sure I grew up so I could always be there for her. And you. But you never talked to me. You were always so cold to me and I was scared to break the ice. So I just let you raise her without me, not realising what I was missing out on. I fucking missed all of it because I was just trying find the perfect words to get this off my chest and I never found them.”

“Harry-” I sigh. “You could’ve tried. But...you moved on though. You have a girlfriend-”

“I had to try to move on,” he explains urgently. “You barely spoke to me. I’d ask how you are and you wouldn’t always reply, our texts were only about Charlie. You never invited me over when I was in LA. I thought you didn’t care about me so I had to move on, and the way we ended things I didn’t blame you! I let you know I would be there for Charlie--but I had to move on because I didn’t think we would ever have another shot.”

“I didn’t know what to say to you when you came over Harry. The way we left things before I moved back home, It was awful.” I whisper. The words he’d said, the things I said, the broken glass and just hours of fighting. Then the panic attacks and crippling fear of not knowing what I was doing with my life. It was easy to let it harden you, rather than invite it back in.

“The way I let you leave...was awful.” He agrees. “So I’m asking you now to stay Y/N.”

“And do what?” I ask, didn’t he get it? “Sit around while your girlfriend is over all the time, have her pop in with her own key while I’m only just woken up looking like a troll? Let you kiss me in the dark when she’s not around? Have her ignore me like I’m not even there?”

Harry has the decency to look embarrassed, dropping my arms. He sighs, and looks at me with regret. “This is balls up.”

“Yeah, I know Harry. That’s why I’m finding other accommodations.”

“I don’t like it’s with Marc.”

“I don’t care Harry, you don’t have any say over who I stay with.”

“But Charlie-”

“She can stay with you when she wants,” I agree. “I know you’ve got a shoot all week so it’s a good week to be out.”

“I like coming home to you two.”

“Harry,” I warn him. He couldn’t afford to speak like this when he had a girlfriend. I didn’t want to fall for him again. He made it hard not to.

“I don’t like it but I can’t stop you.” He concedes, arms crossed over his chest. I skim over the bare flesh, taking in the ink that Charlie loved to ask a million questions about. He notices me looking and I catch the cocky grin on his face.

“I’m looking at the ink,” I say, even though I didn’t have to defend myself.

“I know,” he shrugs but the grin stays on his face. I roll my eyes and head back to finish packing but he pulls me back to him and suffocates me against his bare chest. “I’m sorry, for then. For now. Forever.”

He lets me go but he keeps his arms around my waist. I look up at him and for the first time in a long time, I see my old Styles. Confident, determined, and a little cocky. The one I fell hard for.

“Noted,” I say, not giving in this easily, I still had to process this whole conversation and figure out what this thing between Harry and I meant.

A low chuckle bursts out from him as he stares down at me. “I miss you,” he says.

“I’m right here,” I say, stepping back so he lets me go. I leave him with a smile on his face, not ignoring the way he said he misses me. Without even realising it, my feelings of resentment had begun to slip away. But I still knew space would be best for both of us.

***

It’s Thursday evening, Charlie was with Harry having dinner at his mum’s place. Marc’s edition is officially in printing and he’s home at a decent enough hour that I put aside my work and share a glass of wine with him.

“Sounds intense,” Marc says to me after I give him the details of mine and Harry’s fight. Since then, we’d have breakfast as a family once but I did text him beyond just talking about Charlie. Pictures, memes, old memories, the occasional pointless text. It was sort of nice having him in my life again.

Charlie was going to work with him tomorrow, and she was so excited about that. It gave me time for alone time, and to catch up with Marc.

“It was intense, it felt like the old Y/N and Harry.”

“Uh oh. I don’t miss them,” Marc huffs. “You’re a lot nicer now, and he’s not as much of a cocky bastard anymore.”

“Wow, tell me how you really feel.” I tease. But he was right, back then I was young and sassy and I wasn’t afraid to let the world know. Marc and I had met when he reached out to me to write an article for his magazine and it was a coincidence that Marc and Harry knew each other from cover shoots. Marc used to be a photographer.

“I like this Y/N better,” Marc leans into me, his voice deepening. “She’s kind and strong and gorgeous, and the best part is she lets me kiss her.”

He pauses in front of my face and I lean the rest of the way in to let him know he could. That’s all the signal he needs. Our drinks abandoned, we quickly move into the bedroom and I can’t believe I forgot how good it felt to be wanted like this.

***

The next time I’m in Harry’s flat, I’m picking Charlie up. She stayed with him, but Miranda had surprised him by showing up early right after her flight landed. His short text made me get up there right away, after what happened the last time Charlie saw Harry and Miranda together, I wasn’t sure if she would misbehave.

But oddly, she’s mostly quiet.

“Did you have fun?” I ask Charlie, as she eats her cereal slowly. Her back is to the hall Harry stands in and it was a good thing as Miranda drapes herself across him. Unfortunately, I had to see it; I guess she got the memo that Charlie knew what was going on, and she was okay with it--or as okay as a four year old could be.

“It was so cool mom,” Charlie says. “There was so many rooms and one was space! It had the moon and there was a castle and they made the explosion sound and...” Charlie explains in no sensible order everything she saw at the studio, and I listen to her spill out her excitement but every so often my eyes drift to where Miranda shamelessly reunites with Harry. It makes my stomach turn. Especially after the conversation we had. I wasn’t an idiot, I knew Harry wasn’t going to rearrange his whole life because we’d finally had the Talk about what happened between us all those years ago. It was just watching them, and knowing that that was Harry moving on. From me...when I never fully moved on from him. It was pathetic, I know.

“Have you had coffee yet?” Harry asks a little while later after he’s unhooked Miranda’s claws from him and made his way to the kitchen. Charlie is slowing down her speech but when Harry appears she launches into more questions about set and when his “movie” would come out (it was a music video).

“No, I saw your text as soon as I woke up.” I say, between Charlie’s breaths. IT seemed she was going to be a while. “I could use a cup.”

“I heard you’re staying with Marc,” Miranda suddenly comes up and sits at the table, addressing me. “He’s a nice guy, I’ve worked with him in the past. Easy on the eyes too.”

“I’m right here,” Harry holds up my empty cup and looks pointedly at her. She winks and I nearly vomit.

I smile instead, “Yeah. He’s a really good friend, and Charlie loves him. And he lives downstairs so it worked out really well.”

“Yeah,” she smiles. This was the most she’s said to me since she got here. I watch as she glances at Harry who’s making my coffee the way I like it. “I heard you two are really good friends.”

Yeah...” I didn’t like what she was insinuating. I look up at Harry but he’s suddenly very interested in the sugar. “I can do that.” I grab it from him and make sure to glare at him as he passes it to me.

“We should do like, a double date.” She suggests. “Harry, don’t you think that would be fun? You and me, Y/N and Marc?”

“What about me?” Charlie pouts.

“You and Gemma!” Harry looks at me. “I forgot to mention, Gemma wanted to take Charlie out, spend some time with her while she was in London.”

“Perfect!” Miranda sounds almost too excited. It makes me suspicious.

***

When I tell Marc about the double date, he’s more than eager to attend. I know he just wanted to annoy Harry. I was nervous what this all meant.

But somehow I find myself standing with Marc in front of the restaurant while I try to prepare myself for whatever the evening held for us. Marc eventually just grabs my hand, winks, and pulls me in even though I wanted to just stay outside for a bit longer. Maybe a lot longer. Maybe just never go in.

As dinner goes on, things grow more and more awkward. Miranda is chatting up Marc about their old shoots, Harry grows more irritated as Marc receives all the attention, and his eyes track Marc’s hand any time it’s near me. I knock back my wine, as does Harry. Miranda continues to chat up Marc, and I inhale the food when it finally comes simply because the whole situation was stressful.

“The food’s good here,” I comment but only Harry hears me over the other conversation at the table.

“I always wanted to take you here,” Harry comments. “It has the best victoria sponge I’ve ever had.”

“You know I hate victoria sponge,” I scrunch my nose.

“I know!” Harry laughs which seems to get the table’s attention. His laugh usually did, as I’ve said. “That’s why you have to try it, you’ll finally like it.”

“Like what?” Marc asks.

“Victoria sponge,” I cringe visibly which makes him laugh.

“I think she loves cheesecake too much, right?” I know Marc is remembering the night I came to his house after a big fight with Harry, he’d bought a cheesecake for his then-girlfriend but I’d cried into it and finished the whole thing in one sitting. He’d had to improvise with cupcakes the next day. I still feel bad about that.

“Y/N is a cheesecake fanatic,” Harry says a little aggressively.

“Cheesecake’s way too fattening,” Miranda says absentmindedly, not realising what she was implying.

When the table grows awkwardly silent, Harry tries to come to her rescue. “That’s when you know it’s good food.”

“Touche,” I tip my glass just to have an excuse to have something to do and...well, drink.

At the end of the night, Harry asks if we want to go back to his place. I say no as Marc says yes and because he had the louder voice that’s what we do. I shoot him a dirty look but he only winks at me. He was having way too much fun.

Harry excuses himself and joins us in the Uber late. In his hands is a box with victoria sponge.

***

“Do you think he knows I’m not your boyfriend?” Marc asks later that night. We’d drank another bottle of wine and everyone was a bit more...vocal than before. What started out as fun stories from our younger days, quickly turns into passive aggressive comments as Harry stared a hole at Marc’s hand on my thigh, and Miranda stared at Harry staring at Marc’s hand on my thigh. She’d asked to speak to him midway through and now they were arguing in another room where every so often we caught some of their argument.

“You can’t even take your eyes off..............a bloody cake? You didn’t even think to.........I don’t get it!” That was Miranda.

“Thinking too much..........stop........of course I love you.......Charlie’s mom!” and that was Harry.

“I just knew this dinner would go like this,” Miranda says loudly.

“So you’re testing me now?” 

“Yes Harry, that’s obvious isn’t it Y/N?” Marc comments beside me.

“You’re having too much fun,” I lean my head back and sigh against the headrest.

“I have a stressful job, I don’t go out often. Can you blame me for being mildly entertained here?”

“Ugh...yeah okay me too.” I look over at him and he laughs. I hated the tension it was causing between Harry and I but I couldn’t help the small petty satisfaction of showing Miranda up after she tried to steal the show at dinner tonight. “What happened to the flight attendant you were seeing?”

“She took a flight out of London and never called me back?”

“Poor you,” I pat his shoulder. “We’re just not cut out for relationships are we?”

Marc shakes his head solemnly. I sigh, the alcohol making me more melodramatic than I was. “We’re finding my ex and his girlfriend arguing, entertaining. Who am I?”

“This is why we get along,” Marc leans into me, he smelled good. “Two boring people, getting our petty kicks with other people’s drama.”

“I think this is kind of my drama too,” I groan.

"Then I guess it’s kind of my drama too,” Marc says happily.

“You’re serious,” I say, leaning my head back against the sofa again, too tired to say anything else.

“I always have your back,” Marc says and I open my eyes just as he nuzzles a kiss against my exposed neck, and Harry walks into view.

“Harry,” I sit up and Marc jolts up as I nearly knock my head into his. Harry looks roughened up, his hair lays every which way as if he ran a rake through it. His face is flushed yet he stares at Marc like he wants to pop his head off.

“I’m really sorry, I’m going to have to call it a night. Miranda is...we have to talk and-”

“Yep, yep, we’re out.” I don’t need to be asked twice. Neither does Marc. Marc heads immediately to the door but I pause by Harry.

“Sorry...” he apologizes again. He looks like a lost puppy which is what makes me press a quick kiss to his cheek.

“We’ll talk in the morning. Gemma is dropping Charlie off around noon.”

“Okay,” Harry looks over my head to Marc, who is opening the door to give us some privacy. He looks back at me, searching my face for something. “I didn’t want the evening to end like this, it’s just...complicated.”

“I get it,” I cut him off, and more gently say again, “I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

“Yes please,” he mumbles. Even though Harrys’ done this to himself, I can’t help but feel a little bad. I pat his arm and turn to head out with Marc. Harry could get himself out of the mess if he wanted.

***

I don’t hear from Harry the next morning, before I pick up Charlie, he leaves me a cryptic text that we should probably not go over today. Charlie and I spend the day exploring London some more instead, although she’s tired in a few hours so we end up picking up Marc after work and enjoying dessert by the river.

I still hear nothing on Saturday morning, Charlie asks about Harry and I lie saying he way busy. It’s only around noon that a haggard Harry shows up at Marc’s door. I was helping load the dishwasher so Marc answers the door. It’s the loud shout from Charlie that alerts me to the guest.

I pass Marc on my way to the door, he just raises his eyebrows to say yikes and it’s an understatement when I see him. Messy hair, a five ‘o clock shadow, and he looks like he hadn’t slept.

“You look...rough.” I say while Charlie sits on his back. I almost want to tell her to be fragile with him with the way he looked.

“It’s been a rough couple days.” He comments, his voice scratchy. “I need to talk to you.”

“Charlie, love, go inside for a bit? I’ve got to speak with your dad.”

“Aww,” she moans as Harry helps her dismount.

“I’ll play with you later little monkey,” Harry tickles her and she squeals as she runs away. His eyes follow her with a smile.

“So...” I step into the hall, tilting the door behind me.

“I think Miranda and I broke up.”

“Ah,” that made sense. “What happened?”

“She...it’s so complicated. Why are women so complicated?”

“Woman here,” I point to myself and raise an eyebrow. He shakes his head and sighs.

“Apparently she...set up that double date so I could see you’d moved on. Except, according to her, the way I was acting made her realise she was never going to measure up to you. She...she wanted me to choose between you and her, I told her...” he gulps, leaning against the opposite wall for some support. “It wasn’t the same. You were Charlie’s mum, we would always be in each other’s lives. She made her peace with it but this morning when I woke up I don’t know...I don’t know what I said. She was just gone. She isn’t answering her phone. I thought we were okay, we made up yesterday but today...I don’t know.”

“Wow,” I didn’t know what else to say. I didn’t think she would actually ask him to choose. And now she went AWOL. “Do you know where she might be?”

“I went to her place, her roommate said she thought she was with me. I just don’t want her to do anything rash.”

“Sorry, Harry.” I look him over, I couldn’t help but feel bad for him. Before I could say anything more, Charlie zips outside with the drawings she had done at the museum. She just wanted his attention, and as he takes them from her he smooths his face over and gives her all the excited feedback she wanted. I slip inside and tell Marc we might head up for a bit.

Harry hesitates before letting us in. The place was a mess. Things are strewn about everywhere. A broken lamp sits near the entrance.

“Woah,” I say.

“Woah” Charlie echoes me with more emphasis.

“Ehm,” Harry scratches his head. “I...was trying to find something.”

“You shouldn’t be so messy dad,” Charlie immediately begins walking to her room, like she always belonged here. A small part of me is already sad for when we had to leave.

“Sorry love,” Harry cracks a grin and we exchange a glance.

“D’you need help...?”

“No, come sit. I’ll pour us a drink.”

We sit in the kitchen, sipping our wine in silence. Charlie plays with her toys in the back, a comforting background noise.

I reach my hand out eventually and brush Harry’s hand on the countertop. He looks over at me, zoning back into the present. His smile is small and sad, dimmed and broken like his lamp. I thread my fingers through his and squeeze for comfort. He brings my hand to his lips and kisses it and I try not to look as affected by it as I feel. He lets go after he kisses it.

“Thanks for being cool about this, I didn’t know who to go to.”

He looks so lost, and upset. I want to comfort him but there are no words I can say to do that. I open my mouth to try to say something anyway, but the familiar sound of his front door opening interrupts me before I can.

“Harry?” Miranda’s distinct voice carries over. Harry shoots out of his chair and goes to meet her. I watch on, out of view as she hugs him and apologises. “I just needed to clear my head. Then I got a taxi and ended up near my mum’s. I think I drank too many mimosas. I don’t know Harry, I brought an apology drink...”

She trails off as she spots Charlie laying down with her toys. She looks towards the kitchen and I look away quick enough to not see if she’d seen me or not.;

“I didn’t realise you had...guests.” She says slowly, slower, I can tell her words slur together. She really did have too much to drink.

“My...Charlie came up, her mum’s just in the kitchen.” Harry says, his words loaded with unspoken meaning.

“Oh. So I leave for a few hours and you invite them back.” My eyes bug out as I realise Miranda was planning on rehashing it right here. I get up and move towards Charlie but unfortunately I have to pass by them to get there.

“I was supposed to see Charlie yesterday, I didn’t know where you went! You weren’t picking up I just invited them up-”

“My phone died!” Miranda pushes Harry away and I move quicker towards Charlie, urging her to go play in her room but she stays on the floor stubbornly.

“Miranda please love, let’s not start this here again. Charlie-”

“What about me Harry? I haven’t gotten any attention from you for weeks! I thought we agreed yesterday-”

“They’re just here for the month! I never get to see her Miranda stop being unreasonable.”

“I don’t know why I thought coming back here was a good idea!” Miranda shouts. I pull Charlie up but even she’s frozen in spot watching Miranda. “You’re just never going to love me the way I want to are you? I’m never going to compare against...her. Them. Whatever!”

Harry tries to soothe her but she throws him off again, dropping her bottle to the floor with a thud. She turns to me while I back away to the bedroom with Charlie. “This is what you wanted isn’t it? Him all to yourself? This is why you came here all along? I bet your air bnb didn’t even have a bloody issue! He never wanted you in the first place! Newsflash: he has a girlfriend! Me! Not you-”

“Miranda! Enough.” Harry says and she shuts up. I scoop Charlie up and take her to the room but she starts crying because she dropped Oreo in the living room. I go back for it and Miranda is shouting at Harry, either she was too drunk to care or she was at the end of her stick. Or both. But when she starts to swear Harry tries to move her outside.

“It’s not like she can hear over how loud she’s fucking crying!” Miranda shouts. She really was having this breakdown here, but I pause. I wasn’t okay with her talking about Charlie like that, and I watch as Harry freezes over as he feels the same way.

“Miranda. That’s enough.” He says seriously.

“I’ve had enough Harry,” she’s on the verge of tears. I shuffle back to the bedroom and quiet Charlie down but as soon as she does the shouting gets loud enough that we can hear.

“Why is she yelling at dad?” Charlie asks, her nose red from crying.

“She’s...upset.” I say lamely.

“She shouldn’t yell at him,” she says quietly.

“Sometimes, when you’re that upset it just feels like you have to yell. But you’re right, we shouldn’t yell at each other. They’ll be okay.”

Eventually they quiet down and I feel like a prisoner stuck in the room, wondering when it was okay to leave. Charlie feels the same way because she eventually opens the door when I’m distracted and heads out.

“Charlie,” I whisper from the room but she doesn’t come back. It’s oddly quiet out and when I peep through there’s nobody actually there. I strain my ears and maybe hear them in the bedroom. I guess he’d convinced her to move location.

There’s a feeling in my stomach, like a hard seed rooting in place and pulling up the dirt as it sprouts up into my chest. I suddenly just wanted to go home, back to LA. It felt so complicated here, and I know Charlie felt at home with her dad but I was just a traveler passing through here. London, felt like a home, but it wasn’t my home. And the feeling forces me to sit down on the edge of the couch. Charlie notices my expression and hovers nearby, eventually climbing up beside me and leaning her head on me. I pull her into me and try to work my way out of the funk I found myself in, turning on the TV just so I didn’t have to suffer in silence.

When Harry eventually comes out with Miranda, I’m making a snack for Charlie who stays seated in front of the TV, eyes glued to whatever was on. I try not to think too hard about why they both looked freshly showered, about what this meant for us all. Miranda sits on the couch and Harry hovers over them all watching. From my view in the kitchen, the feeling from before creeps back. Harry catches my eye just then and raises his chin, is everything okay. I smile reassuringly, it takes everything in me to fake it, before resuming my slicing.

I had to get over Harry, I think. On some level, I was still holding onto him and not dating anyone because I continued to compare everyone to how he made me feel. I was vulnerable living with him, I’d made up some version in my head of a family while I lived here and I watched Harry in his fatherly role. Some part of me hoped it would come true. But watching him with Miranda and Charlie like this, he didn’t need me. I was just a past dream, one that felt good to indulge in. Miranda was clearly his future.

“Charlie,” I call her name once I’ve cut up her snack. I stay in the kitchen, where I watch Harry touch Miranda’s shoulder reassuringly. I watch them make up and then watch as she leaves. Harry doesn’t once come into the kitchen, and I try not to show how gutted I feel.

***

I don’t hear from Harry for a few days. Charlie decided to sleep over for a few days, and I’m more than fine with it as I work to meet some upcoming deadlines. Marc pops in and out of his apartment, we have a few meals together but mostly I let myself get lost in my work. Charlie comes up every so often, but she spends most of her time with her dad. With only one week left here, I understand. I didn’t want to be around him, and make it harder for me to move on.

With less than a week to stay, Charlie asks me curiously as I put her to bed,

“Is Uncle Marc your boyfriend?”

“What?” I stare at her, where was that question coming from? Marc and I made sure to keep our distance whenever she was here. “Why would you ask something like that?”

“I dunno. Dad said you cared about Marc.”

“Dad said what?” I breath deeply. For someone who was calling me a hypocrite he outright told Charlie Marc was my boyfriend? “Marc and I are just good friends honey, like you and Carrie. I don’t know why your dad said that.”

“I like Uncle Marc,” Charlie says as she grows sleepy. “He’s nice.”

I grind my teeth, why would Harry say something like that?

I go back to the living room where I was working on an article, Marc sits opposite me working late too. But no matter how many times I read what I wrote, I can’t focus. My mind spins asking why Harry would tell Charlie something like that.

“Where are you going?” Marc asks as I get up suddenly.

“I’m leaving Charlie asleep here,” I pick my sweater off the couch and slip it on. “I need to talk to Harry.”

“It’s 12am,” Marc puts his laptop to the side. “Ohh I see. You don’t have to use code with me love.”

“What?” I’m confused but it clicks a moment later. “Marc don’t be so immature I just need to talk to him about something he said to Charlie.”

“I won’t wait up, don’t worry. Charlie’s fine here.” He resumes working on his laptop and I don’t even bother correcting him. I fly out of the apartment and up to Harry’s. I didn’t care if he was sleeping, I needed to speak to him. I do a quick knock before fiddling with my key, entering the space just as Harry comes into view.

“Y/N?” Harry’s sleepy face stares at me for a beat, his eyebrows furrowed. And suddenly faced with a shirtless Harry, I realise I could have walked in on him doing anything. I didn’t really think this through--Miranda could be over. Shit.

“We needed to talk,” I close the door behind me and stand up straight, ready to lay into him.

“Now?”

“Yes, now. It couldn’t wait.”

“Come in, I guess.” He steps back and I walk into a brighter space, he follows behind.

“Why would you tell Charlie that Marc was my boyfriend? Or we were seeing each other?” I jump right in.

Harry must still be sleep-confused because he sits down on an armchair and stares up at me trying to piece my sentence in his head. My hands on my hips are fists as I wait impatiently.

“I didn’t tell her he was your boyfriend.” He starts slowly. “She just asked why we weren’t hanging out like before and all these questions about--well you know Charlie. So I said it was complicated; we cared about each other but you cared about other people too like Marc.”

“Why bring Marc into this? She doesn’t know anything.”

“I didn’t mean to,” Harry gets defensive. “I was just trying to break it down to her.”

“So you brought Marc and me into her mind as someone I’m with--the reason why we weren’t hanging out like before? As if Miranda and you isn’t excuse enough?”

“Well, not anymore?” He squints up at me.

“Well...why not anymore?” I didn’t follow.

“Y/N...” He stares at me, searching my face as if I was lying but I don’t even know what I would be lying about. I raise an eyebrow. “Miranda and I broke up--that day you were here and she came in, we broke up, I thought you knew that. That’s why Charlie was staying with me for so long, I wasn’t going anywhere.”

“Y-you broke up?” I was stunned, the way it looked to me, they had made up. “Charlie knew?”

“I don’t know. She just thought Miranda wasn’t coming around. I don’t know if it was worth explaining to her.”

“Oh. Wow,” I sit down on the couch, digesting that Harry and Miranda actually broke up that day. All this time I thought he was quiet because they were back together, but he must have been getting over the breakup. And I didn’t even ask him how he was--he must think I was- “Harry I had no idea, I would’ve....done-or said something. If I knew. I’m sorry.”

“I thought you were just staying out of it,” Harry chuckles to himself. “I didn’t realise you didn’t know.”

“The breakup was so...civil. I couldn’t tell! Can you imagine if we broke up like that all those years ago?”

That makes Harry laugh. “Maybe we would have made up quicker.”

“Maybe,” I whisper, playing with the ring on my finger. My mind races as the last few days make a lot more sense. But the only question that lingers on my mind was, why Harry didn’t try to make his move. If all those words he said over the last few weeks were true--why didn’t he try to talk to me? The only thing I can come up with was that he wanted to stay friends. It would get too complicated. “Well, now that that’s cleared I should probably go.”

I stand up as Harry does. He clears his throat, looks up at me like he wants to say something. I wait a moment, and when he doesn’t the awkward starts to settle.

“Sorry for waking you,” I say, trying to signal that I was now leaving.

“Doesn’t matter.” He shrugs it off. “But...aren’t you mad that I told Charlie?”

“Uh, yeah. Kind of,” I try to figure out where he’s going with this. “But, given your circumstances, I’ll let it slide just this once.”

“Oh c’mon Y/N,” There’s a ghost of a smile on his lips. “Don’t give me that. I don’t need your pity-forgiveness.”

“Fine,” I cross my arms playing along. “If that’s what you want, I don’t forgive you.”

“Good. I want to earn my forgiveness.” Harry says, and it sounds like he’s saying one thing but meaning another.

“Okay well, I’ll think of something.”

“I can think of a few things,” he says with a twinkle. I can’t help the laugh that bursts out; he was making me nervous.

“Like what?” I impulsively ask, fuck it I tell myself. If I couldn’t flirt with my daughter’s single dad what was the point, right?

“Hm,” he takes the few steps between us and flashes me a charming smile. “I could get on my hands and knees and beg, or” he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear and his finger traces the curve of my ear down to my neck, his movements slow and his finger dipping borderline dangerous. “I hear jewellery can work.” he taps my chest but just as quickly his hand moves up to cup my face, his thumb brushing my lips, “or I can cook you your favourite meal and watch you enjoy it or...” I keep my eyes on him, trying not to give in, but as soon as he moves his hand up into my hair, I close my eyes without meaning to. He knew my favourite feeling was his fingers in my hair and even now, it was no different.

“Or what?” I whisper, eyes still closed, too afraid of what I’ll see if I open them.

“Look at me,” He whispers. I swallow, he says it again and I finally open my eyes. He’s not even hiding what he wants, but he is holding back. “I don’t want to force you into anything, I want you Y/N...but I know you’re with Marc so if you want me to stop I-”

“Harry,” I cut him off. Marc was right, he really didn’t know--that must be why he left me alone. And now in the midst of this heat, I had to tell him--I’d only played myself: “Marc and I aren’t together. We got together a few times but we were never actually...together.”

“Wait.” his hand leaves my hair and I want to snatch it back. He takes a step away, his eyes flitting at he thinks. “So this whole time?”

I shrug.

“This whole time, you just let me believe you and him...”

I try not to look too guilty as realization dawns on him. When he steps towards me again, his mouth is curved into a smile. And one might think it’s a nice smile, but the look in his eyes, I knew he was gearing up for something, because now he knows I let him believe Marc and I were going out on purpose. And I was going to pay.

“Okay, okay so I can explain,” I hold my hand out but he just keeps walking until I stumble back into the couch I just got up from. He leans over me, and a giggle bursts out from nervousness. “Harry really, I-”

“You let me believe,” he grabs the hand I have raised and envelops it in his, taking away my only defense. “That you were going out with Marc? just to bother me?”

“Well,” I’m at a loss for words as I look everywhere but at his face. “It worked, didn’t it?”

“A little too well,” he murmurs. When I give in and look at him, I'm a goner.

“I'm sorry,” I say. “Really I-”

“You’re not getting away with it that easily.”

“What happened to forgiveness? We can mutually forgive!”

“I’m not that kind of person,” he says. Before I can respond he’s somehow managed to lift me up and sling me over his shoulder.

“This-Harry!” I try to wriggle out but his hands are iron clad on my legs. His apartment floats upside down as he carries me. “I’m sorry! C’mon! This is cruel and unusual punishment! I-”

The breath is knocked out of me as he lays me down on the bed, we look at each other for a moment and then his face cracks into a grin, “Last time I checked, you were into cruel and unusual punishment.”

I laugh, “That was four years ago love, a lot can change in 4 years.”

“Hm,” he leans over me and I crawl up the bed until my head hits the pillow, as he follows. “But some things never change, do they?”

“No,” I stare into his green eyes. They shine with unadulterated joy and adoration. My stomach swarms with butterflies like I’m a teenage girl, like I was Y/N so long ago, excited the hot guy from the party took me home. I hold his face in mine and kiss him with the same joy and adoration. “Some things never change.”

“I love you Y/N,” he says into my neck. I push him up to look at him, he says it again and I can’t stop grinning.

“Are you going to make me wait?” he raises an eyebrow. “Is that my punishment.”

I shake my head, “I think we punished each other enough the last few years.”

He nods in agreement, “That’s deep.”

“So’s my love,” I push the cheesiness which always got him to laugh. He laughs now too, and I feel the small thrill of being the one to do that. “I love you”

“Phew. Now let me kiss you,” he pulls my shirt off effortlessly and our lips meet in the middle, missing each other already.

And as we press into each other, relearning every inch of the other, catching up for all those silent years, we just fit together like we were absolutely made for each other. And truer words didn’t exist: some things never change.

Epilogue

[puppy-phum]

2020 – a (content creator) year in review

I decided to make this into a mix of these two games I was (kinda?) tagged into so thank you for @leonzhng and @tiesanjiao ♥ I hope you don’t mind me doing it like this ^^ all the questions were just so interesting that I wanted to try!

(bc of the amount of questions, I’m placing them under a cut so that I don’t flood anyone’s dash) 

Me

(this is the 2020 year in review that hanyi tagged me to ♥ sorry am so late!)

Top 5 Movies you saw this year

wow tbh I didn’t watch many movies this year as I realized yesterday when I was thinking about this for certain reasons. Or at least I feel like I didn’t watch that many? Nothing really stuck with me it seems.

Because of this, I will only mention two: Parasite and The Old Guard. Those were both wonderful in their own ways and I’m very happy I got to watch them both ^^

Top 5 TV shows you watched this year

this one is difficult bc I watched so many (and forgot even more?) but:

The Lost Tomb Reboot (my introduction to DMBJ. this drama stole my heart and helped me through the tough autumn semester!) 

Joy of Life (it’s nuts that this happened during 2020? it feels like it was ages ago)

Kingdom (such a positive surprise and I really hope we get more of this :o I really recommend!)

Detective L (easy, nice aesthetics, amazing costumes. Bai Yu was a delight as Luo Fei)

Sand Sea (I am still baffled by how much I loved this bc I had so many doubts? am happy I did tho)

Bonus: Guardian (bc it has come to stay and the rewatch has been so emotional but so rewarding)

Top 5 songs of 2020

this is a tough one too bc I’ve heard so much new music during 2020 but I will try to put it simply:

Black Swan by BTS (I absolutely adore this song. I listened to it on repeat when it came out at the beginning of the year, I have cried for it a ton, I enjoy every stage I see for it and it’s just a masterpiece. it has also helped a bit with my writing struggles that I’ve felt creeping up on me lately)

Always by By The Coast (an amazing song that always leaves me in my feels. inspires me a lot all the time)

Love me or Leave me by DAY6 (this whole album was a masterpiece and I listened to it on loop for like. two weeks? this was my favorite song on it even if I adored the rest too, especially Zombie)

all of my life by Park Won (listened to this a lot in relation to my xicheng and the wedding I finally got to write for them ;; that’s one good thing that came out of this year tbh)

雨人 by 刘畅 (Liu Chang) (with the Reboot’s ending song, this one is my favorite on that ost. I love Liu Chang’s voice, I loved Liu Sang as a character and as I said, I loved Reboot as a drama. I get super emotional about this ost so I think it defined this year a lot for me)

Top 5 books you read in 2020  

All For The Game -trilogy (listened to these as audiobooks but that counts right?)

The Song of Achilles (as an audiobook too and really adored the reader’s voice)

The Smoke Thieves -series (I really just binge read the two first books in this series and am so excited for the next one!)

Call Down The Hawk (love love love)

Guardian novel (am not very into these novels usually but I was positively surprised this time? it was so cool to finally get the original story and compare it with the drama version)

5 positive things that happened in 2020

joined mdzsnet and met all the amazing ppl there and got to become part of this loving community and :’) I’m so thankful, it’s been a joy

learned more about editing? or started doing it regularly. I still can’t do shit but am having fun learning more all the time and I really hope that maybe the upcoming year I can switch to PS and try out giffing?

went to Halsey’s concert! it was in february so a bit before all the hassle with covid happened over here ;; it was super cool and so nice and I just. I love Halsey

fell into the DMBJ hellhole which am very much enjoying. it’s a great universe and the story is so good and the dramas have been so fun to watch and. it feels like a good continuation to The Untamed somehow haha (also brought me a new friend! you’re amazing ashen!! ♥)

started therapy and it’s been... a journey. but towards something better I think? it’s something I would’ve needed ages ago but it’s better late than never I suppose

My Creations

(this is the other part where ali was being super sweet and mentioned me ♥ thank you for being so awesome!)

1. first creation and most recent creation of 2020: wow it’s been a while since I’ve looked at this horrible creation but here ya go jkdhgk [x]. I’ve come a long way from this (and my xicheng has come a long way from this too). most recent one is this xiaoge edit that I absolutely adore [x]. 

2. one of your favorite creations from 2020: this wwx edit that was part of my agust d2 edit series [x]. I loved to give him blue instead of his typical red. 

3. a new style you tried this year and a gifset edit that uses it: this [x] wwx edit which I don’t know if I like or not but I was playing around with the font and all the effects instead of just normal screenshots + coloring. also I just adore the quote. 

4. a creation to be proud of: I could mention that xiaoge here but in addition, I will also say this wu xie edit for reboot [x]. I managed to capture my vision so well, I was surprised. for cql, this songxiao edit [x]. I loved how it turned out in the end. 

5. a creation that took forever: this wangxian edit [x]. like I’ve said several times, I lost sleep bc of it. I just kept struggling with the third pic and how to place the text there D: 

6. your creation from 2020 that received the most notes: this lwj/wangxian edit [x]. I had many ideas for this edit when I first started making it and I never managed to capture my vision in the way I first intended... the pictures I was supposed to use just never fit quite right sigh. I dunno why it was this one that gained all the notes in the end bc I personally think I have better ones too but am still thankful :’D 

7. a creation you think deserved more notes: as said, dmbj fandom on tumblr is very small so I really want to say the two already mentioned ones (wu xie and xiaoge) and then my pingxie edits [x] [x]. also these wwx edits which I personally am very happy about [x] [x]. and from my agust d2 series, this yun bros one [x].

8. a new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it: really just dmbj this year and I’ve already linked all of my creations for that :’D tho I have plans for another pingxie edit and a liu sang edit! oh and maybe I could mention guardian here with this shen wei [x]. I had so much fun while making it (also the quote just haunted me relentlessly until I gave it a moment). 

9. a creation you made that breaks your heart: this must be my easter islanders (lwj and jc) edit [x] that just. awoke many thoughts in me? I’m going to put a link to the version where you can read my ramblings underneath :’D 

10. a ‘simple’ creation that you really love: my creation for the creator (gif?) challenge that was going around! [x] it was simple and nice to do and I loved the result. also, it was nice to work with jl for a change :’) 

11. a favorite creation created by someone else: oh wow ok so this is going to be rough bc I have so many favorites ;; you can look at this post here [x] to see more! 

but to love my two taggers am going to say these [x / x] [x] [x] [x] [x] by hanyi (I always love your edits, the colors you choose, the thoughts you put into them (and your humor too!). there are so many cool things you’ve done that I just stay in awe of! I adore all of it ;; ♥) and these [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] by ali (I love all of your gifsets so much, they have such pretty colors and such good scenes, and I am thankful every day that you make all the amazing dmbj content, pls never stop ;; I should go through all of your creations properly one day! I noticed you have sand sea stuff too and let me scream?) ^^ ♥

12. your favorite content creators and blogs that you appreciate: this is going to be a huge list and I’ve already made my love heard for some but no hurt in doing it again so @i-am-just-a-kiddo @ashenwren @tiesanjiao @kholran @lzswy @englishbunnyrocks @leonzhng @aheartfullofjolllly @yibobibo @inkblue-black @cross-d-a @bloody-bee-tea @fytheuntamed @mdzsnet @lifegoesmon @creeds-eagle @underaswift-sunrise @sarawatsaraleo @lan-xichens @mylastbraincql @wangxianbunnydoodles @manhasetardis @distantsnows @ohsehuns @minmoyu @linglynz @highwarlockkareena @yiqiie @aowyn @alienwlw @wangxiians @kingbadcat @sassyassassy @tytangfei @lanzhannnn @skzmxtp @leoyunxi @yoonqiful @softjeon @rapbabenamjoon @ronan-adam @miyakuli @pavusdorian @arsuf @brolinskeep @gawincaskeyy and so many others! (sorry for all the random ppl on this list that I’ve never even talked to ^^’ just know that you make my dash a wonderful place! ♥) 

I won’t tag anyone separately here but everyone who’s already been tagged or sees this is free to do this (or link me posts if you’ve done these already!) ♥ have a nice day everyone! 

[dalekofchaos]

How Disney/Lucasfilm failed Finn and John Boyega

A rant about my continued frustration on how Lucasfilm/Disney failed Finn and John Boyega

John Boyega’s Finn was setup as the male lead and co-protagonist of the sequel trilogy. That’s not an opinion, that’s not a headcanon, that’s a literally fact. He was set up to be equal with Rey & Kylo’s foil and we all know why that changed.

John Boyega was cast as the male and co-protagonist of the sequel trilogy by JJ Abrams, who had to fight for John Boyega to be cast against the preferred (White) casting choices.

Originally Finn(Sam in the original treatment) was white

Majority from Okiro’s twitter thread exposing Lucasfilm’s hypocrisy when it comes to representation and black history

JJ Abrams told Finn he was the new star of Star Wars

In The Force Awakens. Finn was a Stormtrooper who defected. After witnessing the death of his friend Slip and seeing the innocents being killed, Finn made the decision to save Poe Dameron and leave The First Order. Finn only wanted to leave The FIrst Order and run away. But after meeting Poe and later Rey, Finn began to care for more than himself. Finn was mentored by Han Solo. For once, he had a father figure and a positive role model as opposed to people like Hux and Phasma. He learned to care for Rey and even love her. After Starkiller Base destroyed the Hosnian System, Finn realized running was pointless and knew he had to fight. Then Kylo Ren took Rey. Finn went to The Resistance using his time on Starkiller Base to shut down the shield generator and plant the explosives on the thermal oscillator. Finn’s main focus was rescuing Rey. After Kylo force pushes Rey into a tree, Finn faces Kylo Ren. Finn learns to overcome his fears of The First Order and faces the symbolic evil that was Kylo Ren. Although Finn does not win, he puts up a good fight and was put in a coma for daring to defy Kylo. Then they bait and switched us with Rey. I’ll let you read my rant on that.

Finn was the co-protagonist of The Force Awakens, this is evident of Finn’s actions saving everyone. Finn is the very reason why the Resistance is even alive. Finn breaks his life-long brainwashing, informs Rey and Han about the importance of BB-8 and helps out in getting BB-8 to the resistance and provides vital information that lead to the destruction of STB and gets nearly killed while helping to achieve this. If it were not for Finn saving Poe, BB-8 would’ve been scrapped for parts and Rey never would’ve left Jakku. The map would either be destroyed or be in the hands of The First Order. Starkiller Base would’ve destroyed D’Qar and Ach-To. He is the reason why Poe is still alive. He is the reason why BB-8 isn’t parts and Rey left Jakku. Because of leaving Jakku, this is the sole reason why Han and Chewie were able to find the Falcon. And he is the reason why The Resistance was able to find out about Starkiller Base’s weakness. he Helps out in sabotaging STB so that Poe, the very pilot he saved in the beginning can deliver the finishing blow to Starkiller Base and destroy it completely.

There are some missed opportunity in TFA, believe me I know as I feel JJ squandered the theme of Stormtroopers rising up against their oppressors and that crack about Finn being a janitor was so tone deaf and unnecessary. 

Don’t believe me that Finn was meant to be the co-protagonist of the Sequels? Look at the marketing?

Also. Just look at the hopeful optimism and representation FInn brought to black people.

Then the racist boycotting happened. The boycott was groups of bigots who wanted the ST to be boycotted. What was the response from Lucasfilm? Zero defense of John Boyega, but their actions were transparent when they shrunk Finn on the TFA poster for fucking China’s sake, kept him off the TLJ teaser poster, and small on the official poster

I’ll let what Rian Johnson chose to do with Finn speak for itself. John Boyega has every right to hate what Rian did with his character.

By giving into the boycott and doing their best to erase and sideline John Boyega, Lucasfilm proved they would always cater to mob law if the mob was big enough. Do I have proof of this boycott against John Boyega? Yes, I do.

Also, popular Reylo blogger Jenny Nicholson’s racism against John Boyega

Reminder that Jenny Nicholson blocked a whole fuckton of Black people who even gently criticized her about how she went after John Boyega

Did Lucasfilm after The Force Awakens try to support their Black lead in any way? No. In fact, they began to erase him harder than ever to the point Fans started a hashtag #WhereIsFinn because it was getting so bad. But Bryan Young, a Lucasfilm writer, sure loved to hate on Finn

Lucasfilm was so racist, the very concept of a Black man and a white woman getting together sent them into such a frenzy Lucasfilm had to have it removed from any EU material just to make sure they kept it nice and bigot friendly. Also it’s worth noting that Alan Dean Foster was ordered by Lucasfilm/Disney to scrap any hints of Finnrey romance from the TFA novel as he believed that was the direction of the Sequels’ romance and coincidentally they did next to nothing with and we know it was racially motivated. "I expected to see that developed further in Episode VIII [The Last Jedi]," Foster said. "And zero happened with it. And we all know why zero happened with it — and there's no need to go into it in-depth — but that's, sadly, just the way things are."

It wasn’t JJ Abrams, Lawrence Kasdan or Chris Terrio who were against Finnrey. It was Disney and Lucasfilm and RIan Johnson was more than happy to separate Rey and Finn 99% of the movie(he said and did enough things to prove that he didn’t want the two characters even near each other)

Then John spoke about his frustration with how he was treated

People have tried to twist the narrative or put words in Boyega's mouths, but his GQ interview paints the picture rather clearly. He was sidelined due to his race after The Force Awakens when The Last Jedi came around with a "reordered character hierarchy" Lucasfilm's order btw

It resulted in Rey and Kylo Ren being featured prominently in both TLJ and TROS. It also resulted in Reylo being canon. Lucasfilm killed the Sequel trilogy, cause they couldn’t bare the thought of a black man in the leading role and a interracial relationship. 

If you look at TFA, you’ll realize that Finn was built up to becoming a Jedi, Kylo’s foil and Rey’s equal. Because TLJ happened, Finn’s role was reduced to a side character and JJ could not make him as prominent as he originally wanted to. EIther studio interference or TLJ screwed everything up so bad that he had to work on it slowly and just hope that Disney + would have something for Finn.

At the start of the trilogy, we all thought people of color would have a prominent role in the new trilogy, there was a potential for the first interracial relationship in Star Wars and there was a potential for the first LGBT relationship in Star Wars. But no, it’s clear that both TLJ and TROS gave us the impression that only white people can be Jedi and only white people can have epic romances and save the galaxy, people of color can only have secondary roles. And the blink and you miss it kiss? Only white women, not two men of color who clearly love each other.

Finn’s best scenes were deleted. 

Finn and the villager. it really shows why Finn chose to leave. Finn’s reasoning for leaving the First Order had nothing to do with being against violence, but a moral confliction of not wanting to hurt defenseless people. This villager wasn’t a soldier, wasn’t trying to hurt him. She was just a woman with her baby. This wasn’t war, this was murder, and Finn refused to be a murderer.

TLJ alternate opening. Opens with Finn waking up. Small change, but it would show that Finn is still a prominent character.

BB-8 shows Finn Rey’s last moment with him. BB-8 tries to cheer Finn up, but to no avail until he shows him a recording of Rey from the end of The Force Awakens - the scene she says goodbye to an unconscious Finn and kisses him on the forehead before leaving to find Luke Skywalker.

Poe gives back his sewn up jacket to Finn. In this deleted scene, Poe fills in the gaps and tries to assuage Finn about his concerns, including Finn's mixed feelings about his relationship with the Resistance. Poe then gives back the jacket that was once his and became Finn's in The Force Awakens, showing Finn that he sewed it up. This scene doesn't necessarily push forward any plot development, but should've remained as great a moment between Finn and Poe. The two characters established a wonderful chemistry and bond in The Force Awakens, and with Finn off on Canto Bight for much of The Last Jedi, fans didn't get to see as much of their relationship as expected. It's nice to see that chemistry and bond again. Finn's question about winning is also interesting in highlighting the constant uphill battle of the Resistance. Even destroying the Starkiller Base, Rey defeating Kylo Ren, and blowing up a Dreadnought can still put the Resistance in the position of fleeing. 

The elevator scene between Finn and an old Stormtrooper friend.  A Stormtrooper voiced by Tom Hardy recognizes Finn and starts talking to him. Finn starts to draw his gun, thinking the Stormtrooper has recognized him as a traitor, but it turns out the Stormtrooper is just surprised to see that FN-2187 has become an officer. The scene may go on for a bit too long, but ultimately it should've stayed in. The scene in the elevator does a great job playing with the audience's emotions, as they're unsure whether the tension will rise to the breaking point of a fight or evolve into a humorous moment. It also shows Finn using restraint by not killing a fellow Stormtrooper, unlike the other two movies.

Phasma’s alternate and BETTER death scene. WHY WAS THIS CUT????? No seriously, WHY WAS THIS FUCKING CUT????? I will never understand why this was deleted. Finn calls her out about her betrayal of lowering the shields and when this information is revealed, the Stormtroopers near her look suspicious and it looks as if they are going to turn on her. Phasma like the ultimate survivalist she is kills them with no hesitation. Finn cuts her hand off and blasts her into the abyss, giving Phasma a more deserving and better send off. Seriously, this is way better than their actual confrontation.  What I really like about this scene is its direct connection to The Force Awakens plot point and that it acknowledges Phasma's survivalist attitude which was introduced into her novel. The Phasma novel and comic portrayed her not as a First Order loyalist, but as a ruthless warrior who did whatever it took to survive. She even went so far as hunting down and doing away with those within the First Order who had knowledge of what she did at the Starkiller Base lest the truth get out. Phasma was always about self-preservation, she wasn't about preserving the First Order, but that never comes across in The Force Awakens or The Last Jedi. It only comes across in this deleted scene where Phasma chooses to end her own Stormtroopers to save herself.

Something else that bothers me. Finn’s treatment in the expanded universe. Have you ever noticed that Poe and Kylo got all the big expanded universe material and Finn is always shoved into the background or not there at all? Even worse, every form of media portrays Finn as Poe's bumbling sidekick, which is even more apparent in TROS. They were more interested in having Poe and Finn being the Abbott and Costello of the ST instead of letting Finn going from Stormtrooper to Jedi and lead a Stormtrooper Rebellion.

In the journey to TROS, Finn is not featured in ANY of the novels or graphic novels for the Journey to TROS. When he was, he was used as Poe’s sidekick and not featured anywhere with Rey. Before the release of the movie, he is not featured whatsoever in any shape or form in marketing. We get to see him in two teasers but he says nothing. His new outfit looks awesome. Finn could’ve been used to rise as a Jedi with Rey and essentially be the Skywalkers that Rise and face Kylo and Palpatine together. If not that, Finn could’ve caused a Stormtrooper Rebellion that burns The First Order from the inside out. Instead of any of that, it Finn was given nothing for this movie. He doesn’t even get to face Kylo Ren, their rivalry as foils was completely dropped. That is sad and heartbreaking.

Seriously, there is no novelizations or comics that expand on Finn’s time in The First Order. Sure, there is Before The Awakening. But consider this. Finn was their best Stormtrooper, so good that Hux considered him Captain material.

There is so much potential with Finn in the Expanded Universe. Apply all the posts I’ve linked and more.

The Poe Dameron comics were not about Poe’s life, they were about his personality, skills, character, and the Resistance. So I ask, why can’t/couldn’t the same have been done with Finn pre TFA? A comic series exploring his character while world building the First Order.

There is so much to tell. You could start with Finn vividly remembering his family and how he was abducted and recruited for the FN Corps.

You could even show the ruthlessness of The First Order by showing initiation for the FN Corps is only granted by forcing the children to kill each other in a Hunger Games/Battle Royale to see who the strongest and who deserves to be welcomed to the First Order. This would be in separate groups of the children who are abducted to determine who gets to be put in the FN Corps. We could see Phasma returning to the room, only to see a young Finn covered in blood and dried up tears. Phasma will only say “Welcome to The First Order, FN-2187.”

Wouldn’t it be interesting to see how Finn, a brainwashed soldier broke free of his mental conditioning, learned the truth of the FO yet still tried to be a good soldier. It could flesh out his relationship with the squad he led, as well as Phasma and Hux.

It could’ve also showcased the brotherhood and friendship Finn had with  FN-2199 (“Nines”), FN-2000 (“Zeroes”), and FN-2003 (“Slip”).

The biggest thing it could do is finally show Finn’s skills as a soldier, his brains, while giving so much needed world building First Order. We could also finally show what it’s like as a FO stormtrooper from a sympathetic POV.

Through the avenue of a Finn comic series you could also flesh out Hux, Phasma, Nines, Zeroes, Slip, and even characters like Kylo and Snoke. It doesn’t have to cover spoilers, just make the one note more dimensional while giving Finn so overdue respectful content

It could end with everyone asking Finn “what was the moment you decided to leave” which then we would see the TFA deleted scene of Finn in the village 

It could end on Finn saying "I was raised to do one thing, I used to think I’ve got nothing to fight for, but now I have something worth fighting for.“

And afterwards. You could show Finn and Jannah working together to liberating the other Stormtroopers. The first person they rescue? Zeroes, FInn’s last surviving Squad Member and together they awaken and liberate their brothers and sisters and all the while Finn rises up and becomes a Jedi!

For those wondering what about Finn in TROS? I’ll let this video do all the talking

I’d also like to point out. Finnrey WAS going to happen in TROS. Here’s confirmation by Jedipaxis, the main reddit leaker, who was right about everything before the films release, confirmed that Finn’s “i never told you” line was supposed to have some payoff and it was going to end with finn and rey holding hands. could this pic have been of the alternate ending? then reshoots happened and we got the Reylo kiss

I’m convinced that John Boyega was told by the higher ups to say Finn was meant to say he was “Force Sensitive” no one who is about to die would “always want to tell you” they were force sensitive. 

Hell, even in the original Episode IX by Colin Trevorrow. Duel Of Fates. Finn was given the shaft again. For some unknown reason, Rey is paired with Poe, a character who barely interacts with Rey at all. Finn was given another sidequest to do. The only brightside for Finn is he participates in retaking Corruscant and a Stormtrooper Rebellion near the end. 

Finn, who was once held in prominence as the co-protagonist alongside Rey. Was erased from how prominent he once was and reduced to a sidecharacter due to China and fanbacklash that there was going to be a black lead in Star Wars. Disney caved in to the racist backlash and caved into China’s racist demands. 

Finn deserved to be a main character alongside Rey, while Kylo Ren is their villain. He deserved a good character development, a great arc, an interesting backstory. he had the potential to become one of the most epic star wars characters. TLJ and TROS was an insult for him and he deserved better. nobody will EVER change my mind.

Finn should’ve been a Stormtrooper turned Jedi who embraced the light, while Kylo Ren who was the Skywalker who rejected the light and embraced the dark. Rey should’ve been Luke’s daughter, while Finn is the Jedi who builds himself up from being a Stormtrooper from nowhere to Jedi and together Rey and Finn stop Kylo Ren and bring down The First Order and rebuild The Jedi!

Finn should have been a Stormtrooper turned Jedi.  It doesn’t matter that you think it tells a better story for him to not be a Jedi. “Finn being a hero who is not a Jedi is important.” Poe and Rose are great examples of ordinary heroes coming from nowhere. Rey was supposed to be a jedi related to Skywalker or Kenobi legacy while Finn was the perfect “nobody from nowhere” that becomes a Jedi. And honestly, Black kids deserved to see themselves in the Black Jedi and black kids deserved to see themselves as one of the three protagonists of the trilogy.

Finn got no last name No theme Was sidelined in the trilogy Had his scenes cut Mocked by Lucasfilm employees Racially harassed by bigots and media outlets Disney used while staying silent and then Disney has the nerve to say they “stand” with John Boyega during the BLM movement and celebrated Finn during black history month despite squandering him....

Finn deserved better, period!

[askaceattorney]

Dear forceofnatureandcorn,

...Really?

............................................................Okay, fine.

*Ah-HHHHEM!*

Our good friend Mr. Grossberg is given very little development or backstory in the Ace Attorney series (he sort of disappears after the trilogy, in fact), but I also believe Capcom did a good job of making a lot out of a little with him -- in the first game we see him in, he only has two different sprites, and is never seen anywhere outside his office (not even in cutscenes).  In the second game he appears in, he’s given a simple color scheme change, has a button removed, and has two additional sprites, and even in that game he doesn’t go anywhere outside the courtroom and defendant lobby.  A character who fits that description might sound like a very minor one, but Mr. Grossberg’s role in the Ace Attorney story is in fact one of the biggest most important ones.

When we first meet him, he seems like a friendly (if a little pompous) sort of fellow.

But there’s at least one thing that can cut his pride down to size a little -- namely, his history with the Fey family.

Phoenix mentioning Maya’s name is enough to make his countenance change in an instant.  For reasons he’s clearly afraid to say, he refuses to take Maya’s case, regardless of the fact that he’s her sister’s former mentor.  He seems to remember Mia fondly, regarding her as a fast learner and a passionate attorney, so why would he be so quick to abandon Maya?

Luckily for her, Phoenix manages to step in at the last minute, but we’re left to wonder what (apart from his hemorrhoids) could be bugging Mr. Grossberg until after the first session of Maya’s trial.  Before seeing him again, though, we learn something about him from an acquaintance of his.

The plot thickens gets more interesting, as they say.

It turns out “Grodyburger” at least had the decency to come to Maya’s trial, but he still refuses to admit why he wouldn’t defend her in the first place.  Being the clever lawyer he is, Phoenix finally manages to squeeze some of the truth out of him (sorry to put that image in your head) by connecting him to Redd White after he notices his missing painting.

Phoenix’s timing couldn’t be better, as Grossberg has been dealing with a heavy tough burden for many years, and is now all too eager to confess it to someone.

15 years ago, he made a deal with the devil (or in this case a close relation by the name of Redd White): wealth in exchange for information.

By leaking the fact that the police had used a spirit medium -- who happened to be Mia and Maya’s mother -- in attempting to solve the DL-6 Incident, Grossberg made himself a bit richer, but the money wound end up costing him dearly.  When the police began searching for the one who sold them out, White made him another offer.

On top of the immense guilt he’s had to carry ever since then, he’s had to pay off Bluecorp the whole time.  Defending Maya would’ve only made his situation that much worse, which finally explains where his reluctance came from.

At this point, it's clear that Grossberg is guilty of being both a greedy rat and a coward, but there’s still a tiny part of me that feels somewhat sorry for him.  While he has no one but himself to blame for what’s happened to him, it’s at least good to know that he feels some level of shame for it.  It would’ve been nice if he’d felt like doing something about sooner, buuuuuuut it’s better than nothing, I guess.

Thankfully, he has the decency not to leave it there -- he decides to put Phoenix on White’s trail by offering him a hint.

This act of kindness ends up being the spark that ignites Phoenix’s flame, so to speak, and in the end, Redd White and his blackmail-powered corporation are finally stopped in their tracks.  (At least I assume so, or else they probably would’ve come up in a future game.)  Thus Grossberg turns out to be a crucial ally for Phoenix, redeeming himself ever-so-slightly.  It’s a shame we don’t get to see any interaction between him and Mia or Misty afterward, but at least his story ends on a happy note.

...Oh, right.  There’s still a bit more to his story, isn’t there?  *sigh*

Two cases later, Phoenix pays him another visit, this time bringing Maya along.  After some pleasantries between her and Grossberg (whom he apparently knew when she was younger), and some lamenting over a lost painting, Phoenix inquires about a murder victim who happened to work in Grossberg’s office some years ago.

When the DL-6 Incident suddenly comes up again, Grossberg helps Phoenix and Maya connect a few dots, and then we discover one more interesting tidbit about his involvement in it -- specifically with Misty Fey, the woman whose reputation he had unintentionally ruined.

Knowing what we know about how why she needed his help in the first place, his reaction to Maya’s gratitude should be no surprise.

The sad irony gives his words a completely different meaning, doesn’t it?  It might not make him any less of a greedy rat or a coward, but I still can’t help feeling the tiniest bit of sympathy for him.  There’s no telling how Maya would react if she knew the whole truth, after all.

So, to sum it up, Grossberg is...

...Oh, right.  There’s still a bit more of him in T&T, isn’t there?  *sigh*

There wasn’t very much different about him five years earlier -- he looked the same, talked the same way, and was just as pompous as he is today.

Nevertheless, he does a fine job of helping a poor, frazzled young Mia Fey make another go at it as a defense lawyer.  Much like she ends up doing for Phoenix some years later, he helps her to stay calm, focus on the task at hand, and finally pull off a win (all while explaining some game mechanics to the player).  He’s also there to complain when she makes rookie mistakes.

By the way, I love how Mia carries this over to Phoenix when it’s her turn to get bummed out by his forgetfulness.

Just like with two of Phoenix’s cases, Grossberg’s role in Mia’s second case turns out to be crucial as he not only supports her in the courtroom, but does some important research behind the scenes for her.  In fact, his general attitude during the case can be summed up in one of his lines:

It’s hard to believe someone like that sold out the police and the spirit medium who helped them, but it’s nice to have a look at his more virtuous side for a change.  Could’ve done without all the hemorrhoid talk, but that’s probably where his name came from.

I also happened to notice something about one of his sprites that somehow evaded me before I started writing this essay -- his mustache twitches sort of like a rabbit’s nose.

Whether he smells something or just has sinus issues, we’ll never know (which I’m perfectly fine with), but I just thought I’d mention that.

Anyway, while it’s (*Ah-HHHHEM!*) unfortunate that we don’t get to see anything more of this veteran attorney -- what happens to him after the first game, whether he ever shared the whole truth of the DL-6 Incident with Maya, or the “glorious days of his youth” -- he makes for an interesting side character with a complex story, a jovial attitude, and, er...a rather unusual sense of humor.

Okay, gotta go wash my hands now.

-The Co-Mod

[tfw-no-tennis]

ani....morphs.....

ok so picking up after the david trilogy, which hit hard as FUCK, we have book 23, which basically was a semi truck that ran over my corpse, jesus christ, they really followed up the david trilogy w/all that....

23 was so so good and also painful. its the culmination of a lot of tobias’s characterization in the series thus far and also we finally get the reveal we’ve been waiting for about elfangor....ooooh man 

and there was a lot of painful stuff in this book but the worst imo was tobias wondering if it were possible that somebody wanted him and would take care of him, only to have it all come crashing down in the worst way when it turned out aria was visser three in morph, ouch. 

that was so brutal augh. and when he figured it out and just crash landed and kept thinking about how he wanted to die and how he was stupid to think he could have a home...bro get these kids some THERAPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

so yeah that book was absolutely brutal but also so good...and it further fleshed out the animorphs working as a near-flawless team, w/the whole setup of tobias meeting w/the lawyer being so airtight and well-planned 

also more free hork bajir!! its cool that there's stuff happening w/them offscreen, I like that 

I literally had to take a break from reading the books bc the david triology + 23 was like so much, and also bc the olympics were on and all my time got dedicated to watching those, but then I opened 24, not sure what to expect, and BAM it was the helmacrons lmaoooo

I don't even remember the helmacrons but ig a lot of people hate them? lmao so that whole reputation preceded the book and I was like oh wow time for a change in tone

which wasn't wrong but also I liked that book?? I was never bored, even tho the whole thing was patently ridiculous and also had very little bearing on the overarching story

but I think it would be a standout if it were a TV episode w/a good budget - the visuals were amazing even in text, and I can imagine all the cool shrinking/growing/cellular stuff would be WICKED cool visually (ideally 2d animation but an ant man-esque live action adaptation wouldn't be terrible if they had the budget for it)

whatever let me dream. so yeah I didn't hate the helmacron book even tho the helmacrons themselves were...sure something. lmao I think they come back? that should be interesting

next book is the arctic one, we have yet another alien of the week style adventure - I liked this one too, it felt like more plot-y stuff happened since they destroyed the base, and marco’s POV is always fun 

I do find it funny/interesting how sometimes when the animorphs do something - like in this book, destroying that base in the arctic - it doesn't really seem to impact the yeerks much/it doesn't get brought up much after that. and then other things like them destroying the ground-based kandrona get mentioned a lot (that example is understandable tho bc that WAS a big deal). its just hilarious to me how blowing up entire building complexes has become so routine that it isn’t even worth mentioning at this point

Also I adore when they meet other random people/kids and are chill w/them, like w/that kid they met in the rain forest earlier on w/the time travel 

the descriptions of the brutally cold weather were great. I hate the cold so I was like oof this is a nightmare lmao

also ig that was the first ghostwritten book and I did kinda notice it was slightly different than usual? maybe? I could be imagining it tho 

okay but book 26 tho...BOOK 26. bruh 

that was SO good and I really didn’t know what to expect - but when we finally revisited Jake’s dream w/crayak I knew it was gonna be good (but I didn’t expect it to be a chess game war epic..!)

basically I loved it. SUCH a good Jake book - I really appreciate his character now as opposed to when I was 10 and often overlooked him (sorry jake).

similarly, when I was a kid and read these I sympathized a lot w/the chee and felt bad for them towards the end of the series when they had to get more involved in the war (genuinely don’t remember what they even do but ik I felt bad) 

but now I've basically 180′d and I'm like damn those chee sure are hypocrites huh. 

like they could solve So many of the animorphs problems but their stringent adherence to nonviolence leads to them actively getting in the animorphs way sometimes? and obviously pacifism is a complicated topic, but in this case it also intersect w/the whole ‘child soldier’ thing, and as beings who are insanely old and wise, the chee probably shouldn't just leave all the dirty work to a bunch of literal middle schoolers

aaaaanyways. there’s so much I love about this book. the iskoort! they were sure something. and the ‘plot twist’ that they are actually 2 beings, the Isk and the Yoort - and the Yoort are essentially Yeerks - that slapped. the symbiosis of it all! 

I loved the part where they all realize what this means, that this is why Crayak wants the iskoort destoryed - because someday the yeerks might come across them and realize parasitism is not the only way. I love it! 

alas I don’t recall the iskoort returning in the story (but also my memory is terrible so who knows?) but still that would be cool

basically I feel like this is the book where Jake Truly comes into his own as a leader, in every sense. he outmaneuvers Crayak, and even the ellimist, who’s yanking them around in his own way

the scene where jake shoves the howler off the cliff and jumps off and morphs and acquires the howler...that was fantastic and tense. 

also the murder is definitely becoming more overt. I mean, it has been for a while, but it isn’t really pointed out as much anymore. oof

more on the chee - as Jake points out in this book, and other characters point out in other books - the chee could have saved the pemalites, but instead just stood by while their creators were slaughtered. on the other hand, jake says, what do the chee do AFTER they’ve killed the howlers - where to point them next? when is the end of their violence? 

buuuuut also standing by while atrocities occur is pretty damning, as is frequently mentioned in this series - from the very beginning, when marco initially doesn’t want to get involved in the war at all, and the other animorphs basically tell him that turning his back on the war and acting like he doesn’t even know it’s happening would be immoral and cowardly (which imo this reaction helps to push marco in the direction he ends up going, but I digress) - this topic comes up again in 19 when cassie quits the team and rachel is upset bc she sees it as cassie elevating her own feelings above the greater good (as in, as long as cassie feels good about how she acts, it doesn’t matter how much preventable evil the yeerks are committing while she turns away). etc etc. but that’s essentially what’s happening w/the chee - even tho they help w/intel, the lack of any sort of Action on their part means that they’re essentially allowing awful things to happen when they could prevent them. this is rambly but basically...animorphs deals so much in grey areas, and the chee are noticeably black and white in their actions, despite falling, in a meta sense, in an extremely grey area. its such good, thought provoking writing!

anywayssss I keep talking about the chee lmao what else was there. oh YEAH jake and cassie kissed for the first time awww that was super cute 

and ofc immediately marco teases them as asks jake if he’s gonna kiss him next, and all I can say is...marco is a bicon 

also I love the background worldbuilding w/the iskoort, how they have all these groups and guilds and stuff - its not dwelled on much, which actually works really well to give the world/species a sense of lived-in realness 

okay oh man and the reveal at the end that the howlers were just like...children who thought the whole thing was a game...AUGHH man that’s sooo fucked 

like, when jake morphs the howler and has rachel ready to knock him down in grizzly morph if he gets out of control due to the howler’s murderous instincts, and he morphs to find that the howler is...playful, like a dolphin morph. SUCH a good fucked up sense of dawning horror there 

and the fact that as far as I can tell the chee KNEW this, but wanted revenge anyways, so they let the animorphs assume that the howlers were Evil On Purpose

also I love smaller moments, like jake seeing that ax is ashamed for briefly running away during one battle w/the howlers, and then entrusts him w/an important task bc he knows that ax will see that as redemption - and when everyone thought jake was dead and were so happy when he wasn't (they all love each other so much im gonna cry about these child soldiers augh)

basically that book was so good

man one thing I absolutely love is that the longer the series goes on the more obvious it is that andalites, despite inventing morphing technology, barely use it themselves 

like, most of the andalite characters we see barely morph. its kind of a last resort to them, as they’re already plenty dangerous in their regular forms 

meanwhile for the animorphs, that’s all they have to fight with. that’s their only weapons against the yeerks, and its so fun to see them use the power in so many varied ways, and so creatively, while the andalites have barely scratched the surface of their own technology

its also interesting to contrast against the yeerks who start out w/absolutely no technology, and the andalites share some but not all of their technology w/them...its too bad that morphing technology was just starting out cause that would’ve been interesting

like imo a lot of the conflict w/the yeerks could’ve been avoided if they could just nothlit into better forms - of course, there’d still be plenty of yeerks who want to go start wars or w/e, just like pretty much any species in the series, but a lot of yeerks would probably be like ‘yeah I'm good’ and just chill out as nothlits

also people online love to talk about how humans are alienfuckers and would definitely have sex w/sentient aliens and whatnot, and while I'm not saying that's untrue, its just funny bc in animorphs the truest alienfuckers are definitely the andalites

as of the hork-bajir chronicles, we now have a second instance of an andalite morphing another species to be in an inter-species alien romance (and eventually have kids) 

speaking of, I don’t think I’ve talked abt the hork bajir chronicles yet??? even tho I read it a while ago lmao 

HBC was great...I honestly haven’t really run into an animorphs book I’ve actually disliked at this point, I’m sure it’ll come w/all the ghostwriting and whatnot, but I’ve liked at least some aspects of every book

anyways HBC was great, and it’s funny bc I remember that I read this book as a kid, and yet rereading it now I didn’t remember a single bit of it lmaooo

I really liked the framing device of the free hork bajir telling this story to tobias. I also liked how we know from the beginning that this story wont have a happy ending - we know all the hork bajir end up enslaved by the yeerks, but it’s still somehow hopeful at the end? I think this is largely due to the framing device tbh. 

also I love toby, and I love that the First free hork bajir named their kid after tobias ;_; 

and oooh mannn I LOVED the different POVs from this book. all the characters were so interesting! aldrea was fascinating - I really like the increasingly negative view of the andalites that the readers are getting, all while maintaining the sense that they aren’t like, actively evil, just that they have their issues - like aldrea’s arrogance, and the general andalite arrogance which lead to the loss of the hork bajir. also, who knew andalites had their own brand of sexism? Ls

I did like getting a female andalite tho, that was cool. and dak was really cool, he was such a good, compassionate character who was able to maintain his morals in an interesting way throughout the story

and VISSER THREE...or should I say esplin 9466, because he’s not visser 3 yet...getting his ‘origin story’ was excellent - I really like how we’re learning about visser 3 backwards - we start off the series w/him as the main villain, and he’s campy and menacing, and then we see him in the andalite chronicles as a power-hungry sub-visser trying to climb the ranks and eventually getting alloran as a host, and then back even further here, w/the start of his focus on the andalites and the beginning of his ambition. its been very cool and interesting to see

plus, the beginning of the yeerks as we know them! seerow! alloran! it’s a party and nobody is having a good time, except for some of the yeerks. 

I like how it’s pretty obvious that the andalites are well-meaning with their interactions w/the yeerks, but go about it the wrong way - they give them enough technology that the yeerks realize there’s a whole world out there to experience, and then they blockade the yeerks on their planet and tell them they can’t leave. nnnnot the best approach imo

again, as I said above, I’m interested in how things could’ve gone if the andalites had given the yeerks morphing technology early on - could a lot of the conflict have been avoided, or would it have been worse? the yeerks seem pretty evil in this book, immediately jumping to enslave anyone they can. otoh we hear from esplin that not all yeerks like having host bodies, and find it overwhelming, preferring to swim around in the yeerk pool as a slug - I assume as host bodies became more available this type of thinking was probably stamped out in yeerk society or w/e, but there are a lot of interesting what-ifs in the situation 

I loved the scene where esplin first experiences having a host, and immediately knows he can’t go back. there are a bunch of great sensory descriptions, and it’s a nice scene to pinpoint as a foundational moment for the visser three in the current story, who spent a lot of time and energy getting what he sees as the best possible host body, an andalite

I find it interesting how much visser three clearly respects the andalites, even while constantly deriding them. and you can see the origins of that here as he immediately focuses in on the andalites, working to become an expert on them in order to make himself useful enough to move thru the ranks

another thing I like is how esplin seems a lot more crafty and ambitious than the visser three from modern times - I would guess that reaching his goal (andalite host body) and being given all that power was detrimental, playing on his weaknesses instead of his strengths. basically, I don’t think it’s ooc or anything, I can see how HBC-esplin became animorphs-esplin, especially w/TAC in between

as for seerow...poor dude. you really do have to feel for him, because you get the sense he really did just want to be kind to the yeerks, but it was borne from a place of pity, and he (and the other andalites) consistently held too much power over the yeerks for the species relations to ever be truly equal and functional 

AUGH I have so many thoughts about alien space politics. omg. I need to talk about the actual story lmao

so yeah I also feel for aldrea, she had a rough time, watching her entire family die and being thrown into a hopeless war

and then the andalite council or w/e not listening to her bc she's a girl AND seerow’s daughter...oof

also, I really really liked the running theme of the andalites - specifically aldrea - looking down on the hork bajir as ‘simple’ and constantly underestimating them, especially dak

and I like how this is portrayed as a bad attitude for aldrea to have, and she still remains and interesting and sympathetic character even while having obvious flaws. it’s about being 3-dimensional baby!

and oh man I love that dak realizes that aldrea looks down on him, and his entire species, but he can see that that’s how the andalites are, and it all connects back to the beginning of the story w/the yeerks, bc the andalites looked down on the yeerks and treated them with pity and kept them pinned under their proverbial thumb ‘for their own good’ and look how that turned out 

but dak is wise and kind enough to not hate aldrea for this, even acknowledging when she’s using him, but not pushing her away because he recognizes good in her too - and she ends up changing, partially because of his faith in her

and I feel like it can all be compared to that scenario of like - a hypothetical creature that lives in a 2D world suddenly being thrust into a 3D world, and comprehending what its seeing, and understanding that there’s so much more out there outside of the flat lines of its world - and then its dropped back into 2D-land with the knowledge of all the stuff its missing out on, and no way to get back to it or explain it to anybody else

I loooove that ‘trope’ or w/e you wanna call it, and it’s done beautifully here w/the yeerks - whos the say they wouldn't have been fine in their pool swimming around; as esplin said, a lot of the yeerks were terrified of having a host, it was only from the andalites’ perspective that their lives were sad and pitiful, and the andalites showed them what the world could be like, and then said ‘no, you can’t travel the stars like we do, you have to stay here on your planet and do what we say.’

and then again, w/the hork bajir - dak talks about how, even though he drinks up the knowledge that aldrea gives him, in the end it might have been better to just have lived peacefully, not knowing what was in the sky or the Deep - as aldrea says: “It was too late for Dak: he knew that the stars were not flowers.” 

plus the hork bajir having to go from a completely peaceful species who don’t even understand the concept of violence, to a bunch of soldiers fighting a war...oof 

basically everyone in this story uses the hork bajir. the yeerks use them as hosts, the andalites use their planet as a convenient place to dump seerow and then take their sweet time coming to help, and the arn created them as means to stabilize the planet, but block them off from their society and refuse to help when the yeerks come

like, the arn modifying themselves to be un-infestable by the yeerks and then being enslaved for physical labor instead? oof guys. if they had teamed up w/the hork bajir resistance things might have gone better, but probably not 

more on aldrea - throughout the story I was always thinking ‘how am I supposed to see her? as a good person, or as a bad person?’ 

as a POV character, especially a ‘good guy’ andalite, you just start off automatically thinking of her as a good person, but as the story goes on, she starts getting lost in revenge and begins using dak and the hork bajir, and you’re left wondering if this is a story about her slide into darkness, and then towards the end of the story her character development culminates in her making the decision to stay w/the hork bajir, and the be with dak, and that’s about when I went ‘ohhh right this is animorphs so every character is pretty much gonna be grey’

I feel like that moral grey-ness was on full display w/aldrea, and I really enjoyed that. I love so much when characters who are good do bad things, for good or bad reasons, especially in media like animorphs that’s aimed at kids. it’s so compelling. 

oof, and the ending when aldrea convinces dak to mobilize the hork bajir and teach them violence...and dak asks her if she’s ever killed another andalite, and she’s horrified, and says of course she hasn’t, and he says that that’s what she’s asking him, and all the hork bajir, to do - to kill their own people, even if they are being controlled by the yeerks. biiiig oof. I love that dak can keep up w/aldrea and her andalite supremacy attitude - it seems that the non-andalite characters who get along best w/the andalites are the ones who wont take their bs 

what else happened....oh my god how could I forget about alloran, and his quantum virus. oooof. I like how we find out about alloran in parallel to visser three, in the same backwards way - in animorphs he’s the tragic host of visser three, in TAC he’s the disgraced but still semi-respected war-prince who becomes the first ever andalite controller, and here he’s the guy who decides to commit some war crimes because, hey, we haven’t tried that yet 

but yeah that was fucked up, I love it. I’ve said it before I think but I like that alloran isn’t some perfect martyr tragically taken by the yeerks - it’s a lot more compelling that he’s a very flawed person who was taken as a controller partially due to his own bloodthirstiness. 

but yeah, the part where aldrea morphs alloran and ‘sneaks’ into that room was great. aldrea’s dedication to disposing of the virus is a great indicator of her character development - it really feels like the straw that broke the camels back w/re: to the andalites not being what she thought they were, w/their tardiness coming to help the hork bajir planet and the way her father was treated being the precursors to this realization. it all culminates nicely in aldrea saying ‘fuck this actually’ and nothlit-ing into a hork bajir.

and it’s really tragic but realistic that even though aldrea and dak end up seeing eye to eye at the end and getting together, the virus ends up being released anyways (and fails in its objective to stop the yeerks from using the hork bajir - the whole thing was p much a lose-lose situation oof), and aldrea and dak still die fighting a hopeless war 

but then we have the free hork bajir on earth, including toby, who, like tobias, has andalite ancestry, but no DNA to show for it - I like that they have that connection as well as tobias being her namesake

so yeah I enjoyed that one and its many-layered themes

WOW this got long uuuuuhhh ok I think i’ll leave this one off here. at the time I’m actually finishing the writing and editing, I’m on book 35 lol so I have some backlogging to do. never fear, I have a lot to say....

[adamwatchesmovies]

Tenet (2020)

Renting Tenet at home, with subtitles, and the ability to pause/and rewind helped me wrap my mind around its complicated mechanisms. In the theater, I’m not sure what the experience would’ve been. This is a visually arresting picture but so much of the characters’ motivations are shrouded in mystery and its "gimmick" is so mind-bending it’ll make your head spin. I’m still not 100% sure if everything I saw adds up, or if simply got swept up in the whole thing. Either way, those 150 minutes just flew by.

A CIA agent ("The Protagonist", John David Washington) is recruited into Tenet. The members of this secret organization are investigating a technology from the future that reverses the entropy of items or people, allowing them to move backward through time. Aided by his handler Neil (Robert Pattinson), he follows a trail that could spell the end of our past and present, as he encounters an Indian arms dealer (Denzil Smith) and his wife (Dimple Kapadia), state-of-the-art security measures, Russian oligarch Andrei Sator (Kenneth Branagh), and Sator's vengeful wife, Kat (Elizabeth Debicki).

Tenet probably didn’t need the whole reverse entropy thing. Would it have been better as a "normal" spy film? I don’t think so. Shorter, easier to understand, more straightforward but not better. The mechanic of those bullets that fly back into the barrels of the guns that “fire” them, of cars on different temporal tracks racing against each other, and a potential apocalypse from the future is the reason for this movie. It's a joy to step back and realize all of the characters who move in reverse are only doing so from the others' viewpoint. When they fire a gun, we see it as the end of a conflict. To them, it’s the beginning. We've seen time travel before but never like this.

Setting the chronal manipulation angle aside, this is an entertaining spy film that demands your attention. If your mind wanders, you’ll be lost. If you get lost, you’ll probably lose interest. Little is spelled out for you. The Protagonist has a specific objective and is determined to succeed. In most films, this would mean killing innocents just to cover up tracks. This technique sets the mood and amps up the action but also risks alienating viewers from a character. Writer/director Christopher Nolan instead ops to have the hero save or spare bad people for reasons that suit him. It keeps you wondering. You like the hero. He’s charismatic and determined, brave, and capable. Beyond his abilities in the field, you basically know nothing about him – not even his name – but he earns your admiration. You have faith in his choices. Overall, not much information about anyone – save Kat and Sator – is divulged. It’s more that you get an impression of them but that’s enough thanks to the actors' performances.

The whole thing is a puzzle to figure out. No. That's not quite the right analogy. When people put a puzzle together, it’s to see what picture will be formed by pieces that seemingly add up to nothing. Tenet is more like a string of dominos. You marvel at the setup and want to see where everything falls. You’re there to see the techniques that went into this movement. There is a lot of manipulation and subterfuge throughout and surprisingly engaging action scenes. It seems Nolan listened to the criticisms he received during the Dark Knight trilogy and honed his craft. Well done.

Tenet is ambitious. It’s unapologetically complicated, which I found rewarding. The visuals are memorable, as is the "gimmick". The special effects are flawless, the plot that right mix of familiar and so out there you’ve never seen anything like it. I can see some people losing patience with it, saying “I don’t get it” and turning the whole thing off. Go in with patience and I predict you'll be as enraptured as I was. (January 6, 2021)