#i wonder if his hoard was a dirty secret for him

[jvlianbashir]

while the visual of someone with a personality like weyoun living (in bashir's words) "like a pig" behind closed doors is funny in how unexpected it is, the incredibly deep inquisitiveness (and ignorance of the world outside of the founders!) that constantly bringing home mundane things like broken bottles just out of sheer curiosity implies is very interesting and compelling to me

forever sad that weyoun's massive hoard of stolen knick-knacks and other random junk was cut from the show

that just seems like such an illuminating little character detail

[hopesworlld]

౨ৎ oh ! dear diary, i met a boy !

౨ৎ 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 — step!bro anakin x fem!reader

౨ৎ 𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆 — your stepbrother anakin finds your diary full of all your dirty little secrets

౨ৎ 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁 — 6k

౨ৎ 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 — swearing, stepcest, smut ( masturbation f and m, oral sex f and m, vibrator, degradation, praise, use of the term slut/little slut, unprotected sex, p in v, fingering, overstimulation ) i think that’s all !

౨ৎ 𝗵𝗼𝗽𝗲 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗸𝘀 ! — someone call the psych ward immediately !

part two part three masterlist

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anakin groaned in annoyance as he stormed up the steps at his mothers command asking him to fetch his stepsister for some reason or another. he barged into your bedroom not bothering to knock, he always liked seeing you jump, sometimes you were on your bed, phone dropping from your hands as your lips parted in surprise. other times you were perched at your vanity catching his eye in the mirror with horrified delight. but his favourite would always be when he entered your room to find you clad in nothing but a pair of white panties. your face had been painted crimson, eyes clutching your breasts but he could still see your rosy nipples peeking beneath your manicured nails, pert from the cold winter air.

but this time, much to his disappointment he found the room empty, your fairlights glittered along the ceiling and the pink lamp beside your bed cast light on the little book had seen you clutching to your chest every so often, it was hot pink and dotted with stickers of various celebrities that he despised. you had always been protective of it, even your father had once gained a slap to the hand when he tried to touch your book. so anakin knew he had no choice, he slowly entered the room further, noting the sound of rushing water from the bathroom. perfect.

he crossed your room in a matter of seconds and scooped up the book, flicking through a couple pages, the first few he saw held nothing of interest and he skimmed through. there were no dates but he could tell they were from before your father and shmi had bought the house and blended your family, he read a few sentences of you complaining about school, and friend drama and almost called it a bust. his innocent priss of a stepsister was the same in her diary as she was every day. that was until he skipped ahead and found his name appearing. with new found interest he settled down on your bed.

/ anakin came back from college today and he actually looked happy to see me, or he smiled when he got out of the car which is a first. i wish he would smile more, he looks so pretty when he smiles.

anakin scoffed at this, rolling his eyes, this had only been a few weeks ago and he had been laughing at a text just moments before, but of course you would think he was happy to see you. you always greeted him the same, glossy lips twisted in a saccharine smile as you bounced on the balls of your feet, begging for an ounce of attention from him. it was ridiculous, but he had to know more.

/ anakin is fixing up dad’s old car in the driveway so that he can use it, i’ve never been so happy for my father’s hoarding tendencies in my life. i was sat at my window for two hours today watching him. he was wearing that black wife beater, the one that makes his arms look even bigger than usual, so muscly and strong. i wonder what it would feel like for him to pick me up, and feel his muscles against my back, they look so good when they’re tensed. he was so sweaty too, i wanted to run out there and lick it from his skin, how disgusting but wow, i wish i took a picture of him like that. soaked in sweat and oil.

anakin’s jaw was agape, his sweet innocent stepsister wasn’t such an angel as he once thought. his dick twitched beneath his sweatpants at the thought of you perched on your window seat with a perfect view of him working rubbing your thighs together, desperate for his touch, his taste. it was taboo, disgusting, your parents were married and here you were writing dirty little fantasies. he loved it. addicted to the words you had spilled across the page in pretty gel pens.

/ dad asked me why i was so distracted today at dinner, how could i not be? anakin came down in just shorts and i swear i could see everything, he’s bigger than i imagined, i probably wouldn’t even be able to fit my hand around it, but ellen said boys like that. i wonder what it looks like, i’ve only ever seen them in porn. anakin didn’t even notice anything was off with me, didn’t notice me staring. i wish he would.

“fuck,” anakin hissed, his dick was now almost fully hard and throbbing. who knew you were such a slut, fantasising about his cock at the dinner table. if he had known… god he wanted to fucking ruin you. show you how to take his dick, watch as you choked and cried around it as he forced it past your swollen lips. he wanted to paint you in his cum and not stop until you were a shaking writhing mess. he knew you were hot, had thought it the second he saw you, your hair in braids clad in ivory like some kind of fallen angel but had pushed it away, you were his stepsister for fuck sake, but now…

/ he walked in on me changing today, i was only in my underwear and he laughed, but i caught him staring at my boobs, i made sure not to cover them properly and it worked. i got so wet, i don’t think i’ve ever come so hard before. i wanted him to do something, walk over to me and rip my hands away, push me on the bed and fuck me till i saw stars, but instead i just had to use my vibrator. sometimes i wish he could hear me moaning through the wall, maybe he can.

“little fucking slut,” anakin said to himself as he glanced across the page, hand cupping his rock hard cock through his trousers, your words were depraved, desperate. maybe he should walk into the bathroom right now and take you like you were so desperate for, you would have no trouble spreading your legs for him, would probably beg for it, do anything he asked. his perfect little fuck toy. he couldn’t help himself anymore, spitting on his hand and slipping it down his trousers tugging at his cock as he continued to read.

/ i bought a dildo today from ann summers but i’m scared, my fingers are so small compared to it, the woman said it was about average but wow. no matter how much prep i do it hurts. i bet anakin would feel better, the silicon is so hard and cold. i wore one of his t-shirts it smells like him, that helped a little but it’s not the same, i’ve heard his stories when he talks to his friends about the girls he’s fucked. he knows what he’s doing, i wonder how he would take me, on my back nice and slow, or pound into me from behind while i screamed. maybe he would call me angel like he does sometimes, i wish. now my arm just hurts so i’m here alone in my bed playing with my clit wishing it was him.

anakin jerked against his hand at the last sentence, he had never cum this quickly before, but your words had him loosing his shit, he couldn’t even imagine what else you thought if this was only what you choose to write down, what other dirty secrets lurked beneath that pretty facade of pink and glitter. the next page held a collection of polaroids you had taken of him, some from the window as he worked on his car, skin sheened in sweat and oil, shirtless as he drank a bottle of water. another of him laying on the sofa arm resting behind his head a can of beer in hand, and the last was him glaring at the camera. he remembered this one, he had demanded you rip it up, but here it was immortalized with pink and purple hearts surrounding it. but the next page was from today.

/ anakin came home from playing baseball with his friends about an hour ago, he was gross, sweaty and loud after hours with his friends. he slid past me in the kitchen his hands on my hips for just a second i wish he would have bent me over the counter and fucked me there and then. i would have let him, dad was in the living room but i don’t care, god, he’s ruined me. all i can think about is him, his cock, his hands, his lips. i need him. i’m gonna go shower, i was meant to help shmi with dinner but i couldn’t, not when i was soaking through my panties while stood next to her fantasising about her son.

“oh fuck,” anakin hissed as he came into his fist, cum coating his boxers and knuckles. you were insane, and maybe so was he for getting so worked up but he knew he couldn’t hold back now, he had seen those words and there was no going back. a bit shakily he stood from the bed wiping his hands on his sweatpants and grabbing the sparkly pen from your desk and decided to leave a little note of his own in your dirty little diary.

/ who knew you were such a dirty little slut, angel girl

and with that he left your bedroom, cum drying on his boxers, he could only hope you found his note sooner rather than later.

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after your shower you felt a lot better, you had turned the water considerably cooler than usual and taken some deep breaths you had learned from yoga, pushing anakin far from your mind, you let the ritual of getting redressed soothe your mind, slipping into a soft matching set of white shorts and a crop top, leaving your hair loose and applying your skin care. you almost felt like yourself, untainted by the dirty thoughts that seemed perpetually in your mind.

you wished it would stop, you hated yourself for it, your father was finally happy after years of thinking he would never find love again after your mother had passed. if he knew what you were thinking he would be disgusted, he would probably send you off to your aunt to protect anakin and shmi from your sick mind, the thought made your stomach hurt. you wanted to stop you really did, but then you would see him and all those dirty thoughts would slip back in, he was haunting you.

you headed downstairs, an airpod pressed in one ear hoping some music would soothe your guilty mind, finding shmi in the kitchen. the woman smiled in relief when she saw you.

“there you are, i sent ani up to get you half an hour ago,” she said a little flustered and instantly your heart dropped, you didn’t know why she was upset but she had needed you. you hated upsetting people, ‘always a people pleaser’ your mother had used to scold you fondly.

“i’m so sorry, anakin never told me,” you said truthfully and the woman sighed before laughing begrudgingly.

“my son has many talents, listening has never been one of them,” she said with a fond smile before turning back to the stove, “i’m making your dad that soup he loves so much but this recipe seems wrong, think you could help me out?” she requested holding out a sheet of paper to you and you took it immediately, nodding happily.

“of course,” you beamed, “well firstly it’s chicken stock not vegetable stock,” you informed her, “and secondly use heavy cream instead of milk, he likes the taste more. but other than that it seems perfect”

“really?” she asks you, face a little tight.

“yep, we always make it a little different depending on what we have but you have got this down to a t now i would say, and dads gonna love it,” you said and shmi finally smiled again, you hated when she frowned, it made her seem much older, an echo of the struggling woman she had once been and she didn’t deserve that, she never did.

“want to stay and help me make it?” she asked and you accepted. the pair of you worked in tandem, and soon you had a delicious pot of soup bubbling on the stove ready to be served along with homemade grilled cheese.

“okay, i’m gonna go grab your dad from the den do you mind getting, ani,” shmi asked and you agreed despite yourself, bounding out of the kitchen and up the stairs to anakin’s room, knocking once, then twice and then three times before you finally got a response.

“come in,” he called out, so you swung the door open, expecting a scowl or a blank stare but instead he was smirking widely at you, as though he knew something you didn’t and it made your skin crawl. “oh, hey, angel,” he greeted. fuck.

“dinners ready,” you told him, proud that you managed to keep your voice steady and his face dropped a little bit before his smile suddenly widened again.

“and you came to get me?” he asked teasingly, your stomach tightened, twisting into a ball and sending a jolt of heat straight to your core. he was going to kill you.

“your mum asked me to,” you say shortly, spinning around and walking away, taking a deep breath as you did so. stupid, stupid, stupid…

“angel,” anakin said again, and that name was going to send you into overdrive, a flush growing on your cheeks. “not gonna wait for me? that’s not very nice,” he complained and you shook your head.

“are you high?” you asked him as you reached the landing but anakin grabbed your wrist stopping you from heading down the steps.

“what makes you say that?” he asked you, drawing closer to you so that your faces were only inches apart, you could feel his hot breath fanning on your cheeks, see deep into his eyes, so pretty and blue beneath the crystalline lights above.

“your acting strange,” you pointed out with a frown, anakin was never nice to you, he was cordial sometimes, blunt others and sometimes he was simply rude, but never this. never teasing and friendly and chasing you down through the halls of your home to chat. it was as unnerving as it was utterly addictive.

“i just learned something new today, something that’s changed my perspective a little bit,” he crooned, hand coming up and resting on the wall beside your head, you blinked at him. what the fuck?

“what did you learn?” you asked him curiously and anakin grinned, a beautiful blinding thing that took your breath away.

“you’ll see,” was all he said before withdrawing from you and heading down the steps leaving you flabbergasted where you stood, heart racing and core throbbing. “come on, angel, don’t wanna be late for dinner,” he called up to you and you followed soundlessly, wondering if you had accidentally fallen into a different dimension while in the shower.

dinner was normal, or as normal is it could be with anakin acting so out of character, he was chatting like he hadn’t seen anyone in years, some kind of newfound zest for life that even had his mother seemed confused about but accepted with open arms. it was nice to see anakin talking, usually, he would mutter a few words before disappearing back to his room.

“yea, i was thinking of working at the garage next term to get a little extra cash, you know where you’re going to colleague next year, angel?” anakin asked, you looked over at him a little wide-eyed at the nickname in front of your parents, but glancing at them you saw that they both seemed… pleased.

“um, i have a few options actually, still not sure,” you murmured, still lost in what was happening, but it was making your head spin.

“she’s been looking at your school a bit,” your dad cut in, “it’s got a great program for what she wants to study,”

“oh really? maybe i could set something up for you, or maybe just give you a show around of the school next term, let you see what it’s really about,” anakin suggested with a smile and shmi beamed.

“oh that's a lovely idea, ani dear,” she exclaimed, “what do you think, sweetheart?” she asked her eyes darting to you and you pulled your lips into a smile.

“yea that sounds great,” you agreed, glancing back at anakin who sent you a wink. you almost groaned, rubbing your thighs together, you thought anakin being mean to you was enough to send you spiraling, spilling dirty fantasies into your book but him being nice was going to send you into a whirl of delusions that were going to be detrimental to your mental health if it continued.

once dinner was finished you rushed to your room, ready to spill your guts into your diary, you grabbed it from your bedside table and flicked to the next open page, your heart dropping to your stomach when you saw the words scrawled on the page.

\ who knew you were such a dirty little slut, angel girl

“oh my god,” you whispered to yourself, tossing the book down onto the bed, horror-struck. you knew that handwriting, had seen it many times before and now here it was taunting you in a book full of your sick twisted fantasies that all featured him. you felt nauseous, bile rising in your throat, is this why he was so happy, some sort of twisted revenge? had he taken pictures of it? did he plan on showing your dad? “this can’t be happening,” you whispered to yourself.

“i see you found my note,” a cocky voice echoed from behind you, you span around, lips trembling and anakin’s brows furrowed slightly.

“please don’t tell my dad, i’m so sorry anakin. i know it’s wrong and disgusting but please he will never forgive me if i ruin this for him, he loves your mum so much and i…” the world were tumbling from your lips so quickly you could hardly process them, not even noting as anakin shut the door behind him and crossed the room so that he was stood before you, “i’m sorry,” you practically wailed, “you were never supposed to see that, it was just somewhere to put down my thoughts,” tears were streaming down your cheeks now, “please don’t hate me,”

“you gonna be quiet now?” anakin asked you once you finally stopped rambling and you nodded through sniffles, vision blurred by your tears. “good,” he whispered, reaching up and cupping your cheek, “i’m not gonna tell your dad, angel,” he said soothingly, “not when i know how much fun we can have now,” anakin said with a smile.

“what… what are you saying?” you asked him. this couldn’t be real, this couldn’t be happening right now. no way.

“i’m saying, that i wanna see just how dirty you can be, angel,” he cooed, “i wanna know the darkest parts of that fucked up little mind of yours,” your breathing hitched, raising your hands to wipe the tears from your ruddy cheeks and staring at him in disbelief.

“anakin…” you whispered, “this is wrong,”

“oh i know that, baby, but it didn’t stop you from burying your fingers into your cunt and imagining it was me. from laying in bed only a room away from me and moaning my name while you tried to use a dildo on yourself wishing it was me,” he hummed, “and what was it that you wrote earlier? that you were picturing me bending you over with your dad in the next room, that you couldn’t be with my mother in the kitchen because you were dripping down your thighs thinking about me,”

“oh fuck,” you moaned, hearing him depict your fantasies, the things you had said were driving you wild, something stirring within you, it set your veins alight with molten flames, spreading through your body and stirring your aching cunt, you could feel your arousal flooding your panties, sticky and wet, you didn’t know what to do, what to think but you needed him, more than you had ever needed anything in your life.

“that’s it, angel, i wanna hear every pretty sound you can make fall from your pretty lips,” anakin prompted, one hand falling to your hips and pulling you in so that your flush was pressed against him another moan falling from your lips when you felt his half hard cock press against your stomach. “what is it you want, tell me, what dirty secret are we sharing tonight?” he asked you.

“kiss me, just kiss me please,” you begged, and anakin obliged crashing his lips to yours, it was messy, all teeth and tongue and spit. immediately he was diving in, tongue prying through your lips and plunging into your mouth, he tasted of smoke, mint and sugar and instantly you were addicted. your hands rose to his shoulders, tugging him closer you wanted to feel every part of him. your hands tugged at his t-shirt wanting to taste his skin, to see him everywhere.

“so eager, baby,” he muttered against your lips before reaching behind him, tugging his t-shirt over his head revealing the planes of his chest and his toned stomach to your awaiting eyes, you had seen him shirtless many times before, but now you could touch him. “take what you want,” he grinned and you did just that, fingers dipping into every crevice, you explored him as though one would a fine piece of art you wanted to memorise the feeling of his skin, the taste, you hardly thought twice before leaning down and kissing the middle of his chest, running your tongue along the unblemished skin, moaning at the taste of salt and skin. “god,” the boy murmured, reaching down and grasping your hair, yanking your head back harshly, “take my sweatpants off,” he commanded and you were not one to disobey, not now, not when you had him.

you wrapped your hands around the waist band and tugged, gasping when his dick sprung free, unrestrained by any boxers beneath, he was already hard, really hard, his cock flushed a deep red, the tip weeping milky precum and gods were you right, he was big, long and thick, far bigger than the dildo you had purchased. you salivated at the sight.

“can i…” you whispered, slowly trailing off, a wave of embarrassment washing over you.

“tell me what you want, angel, this is your dirty little dream, i’m just helping make it come true,” anakin said and you nodded, taking a deep breath.

“wanna taste you, ani, can i?” you asked him gently, batting your lashes at him and the boy hissed through his teeth, jaw clenching in a way that made your entire body sing.

“fuck me, go ahead, pretty girl, show me what that mouth is actually good for,” his words were disgusting, a sick way of calling your words worthless and it made you go fucking feral, you sank to your knees, eyeing his cock a little unsurely before carefully wrapping a hand around his thick length, anakin groaned, watching you, eyes alight with interest.

“look at that you were right,” he told you, “your hand can’t even fit around it,” he said, and you shuddered, ingjerking your hand slightly, letting itit glide along the velvety skin of his cock, admiring it, and the sound he made was worth it, so much so that you leaned in, licking a stripe along the side of his cock, stopping once you reached the tip and suckling it gently. a.nakin’s hands fell to your hair gripping it, but not forcing you, he was letting you explore first, you bobbed you head, sinking deeper on his cock, the sensation was strange but not unpleasant. so you took him deeper, the salty taste of him drawing you in further, you pulled back, sucking in a deep breath before taking him deeper until it hit the back of your throat. you were hardly halfway down his cock, so you tried again this time more forcefully, choking when his cockhead rammed into the back of your throat.

“easy, baby,” anakin cooed, pulling you off of his cock, you looked up at him with glossy eyes, spit spilling down your chin.

“you’re so big,” you whined at him accusingly making the boy laugh, stroking your cheek with his thumb.

“poor little slut, so desperate for cock but has no clue what she’s doing,” he patronised, thumb trailing down and hooking in your mouth, parting your lips for him, you let your mouth fall open. “gotta take it slow, you aren’t gonna take it all the first time, okay? probably not for a few times, gotta train that throat of yours to take cock, huh?” he asked and you nodded at him, unable to speak with his thumb in you mouth. “try again, huh,” he prompted and you nodded eagerly, this time letting anakin guide your mouth to his awaiting cock, you followed his instructions going slower this time, starting at just the tip suckling it, savoring the taste of his salty cum in your mouth but eventually anakin began to push you further with a groan. you swallowed around him, trying to remember to breathe with the heavy weight on your tongue, your mouth felt stretched, lips stinging, and jaw aching but you couldn’t stop. you needed this, needed him to cum, to know he was enjoying this as much as you were.

“good girl, that’s it,” anakin praised you and you preened, moaning around his cock and making the boy chuckle, “oh you like that, huh, pretty girl? wanna be my good girl?” you couldn’t move, couldn’t speak so instead you locked your eyes with his and this time it was anakin’s turn to moan. “you look so fucking sexy like this, should have known you made for it,” you bobbed your head faster in agreement, it felt wrong to agree, to accept that you were just some sort of object that was made to take dick and love it, but you couldn't argue. not now when you had tasted his cock and you knew you would never be the same again, this was it for you, a springboard into a world that would drive you insane.

“you keep going i’m gonna cum, you ready for that, angel?” he asked you, but you didn’t respond, only forcing him deeper, spluttering slightly but you didn’t pull back, instead taking a settling breath through your nose, spit was dripping down your chin, tears streaming but you couldn’t stop, continuing to choke on his cock, only pulling away when you absolutely had too and it was barley for a few seconds before you were on him again. it was only about a minute before anakin’s hips began to twitch, his cock heavier in your mouth.

 “i’m gonna cum, fuck, baby pull back a little you don’t wanna choke,” he prompted and you did as you were told. lips suctioned around his tip, using your hand to jerk off the rest of his cock and with that, he was cumming down your throat in thick hot spurts. it was disorientating and everything you had ever dreamed of. you swallowed as much as you could of the salty liquid, but some escaped the corners of your mouth, dripping down your chin and onto your plush carpet, you kept suckling until anakin pulled you away, his lips parted and cheeks flushed.

“that was…” he trailed off voice hoarse, “you did such a good job, angel,” he cooed, reaching out and helping you stand up, your knees ached and you felt a little shaky but you couldn't ignore the heat in your core and the sopping wetness between your legs.

“i liked it,” you said bashfully, voice scratchy.

“of course you did,” anakin mocked lightly but there was no malice behind his words, instead he reached down and grabbed his shirt using it to mop your cheeks and mouth, “come on i wanna try something,” he said, grabbing you hand and leading you over to your bed, “lay down, pretty girl,”

“what are you doing?” you asked him softly and he grinned.

“just lay down, okay, i’m gonna do the work for a bit,” he said, so you followed instruction and laid down on the bed, looking up at him with such innocent trust that it made his heart stutter slightly, “i’m gonna take your top off okay?” he said, climbing onto the bed with you and hovering over you, his legs stradling either side of your hips, he looked so big like this, tall and strong, body on show as he looked down at you.

“okay,” you agreed, letting anakin tug the crop top from your body leaving your chest bare to him.

“been waiting a while to see these again,” he murmured, finger pinching your nipple lightly, you gasped, jolting upwards at the sensation and anakin laughed, “sensitive girl,” he teased, pinching your other nipple, using his body to keep you pinned to the bed. “what was it you said in that dirty little book when i saw your tits for the first time?” he asked you, “hm, let’s have a look shall we?” he said grabbing the book from where it lay only a few inches away from you. your cheeks lit up in shame, shaking your head.

“ani, no,” you pleaded with him but the boy shot you a harsh stare.

“what was that, baby?” he questioned, tone stern, “i thought you wanted this? want me to leave you to deal with this alone like you always do, seeing my cock should do you a good couple months, and you even got to taste it,”

“don’t leave” you begged, “i’m just embarrassed,” you whimper, this brought the smile back to anakin’s face.

“you don’t need to be embarrassed, pretty girl, without this little thing you would probably still be downstairs watching tv with your dad trying not to think about me, isn’t that right?” he asked, leaning in to plant a soft kiss on your swollen lips.

“yes,” you said quietly, “just don’t be mean, i really… i needed you. i need you,”

“oh, baby, but you like it when i’m a little mean don’t you?” he snickered, “but back to what i was saying, where is it?” he asked flicking through the pages of the book before he found what he was looking for, “ah, here it is. you wanted me to push you onto this bed and fuck you till you saw stars,” you whimper at this, “and look how proud you were that you caught me staring at your tits,” he grinned, “pretty things aren’t they,” he leaned down, capturing your right nipple between his teeth, nibbling slightly before sucking it into his mouth. the sensation was too much, you gasped, trying to jerk against him but anakin was too strong, he bit down on your nipple, a warning before soothing it with his tongue, moving and doing the same to the other one until you were a panting mess.

“good girl,” he praised, “now this wasn’t what i wanted to do actually, just had to get a taste,” he told you with a wink and you blinked at him stunned. “where do you keep your vibrator, angel?” anakin questioned you.

“um, my bedside draw,” you murmured and anakin nodded, leaning over and opening up and pulling out your pretty pink vibrator.

“cute,” he said, “now, baby, i want to see you use this, okay? wanna know what you look like when you are playing with yourself and thinking about me,” he crooned.

“ani, i’m… fuck okay,” you said reaching out and taking the vibrator from him, anakin climbed off of you and you immediately missed the weight of him atop of you but ignored it was you yanked your shorts and panties down, revealing your throbbing pussy to anakin, the boy groaning in apprecation.

“holy shit, you’re fucking soaked, angel,” he crooned, “look at your clit, all puffy and red. all from sucking my cock?” anakin asked and you nodded, cheeks crimson. “you are a dream, pretty girl,” your clit pulsed at his words and quickly you pressed your vibrator to it before switching it on. your body writhed at the contact, you had been desperate for this for what felt like hours, every inch of your being aching for relief as you trailed the toy down, soaking it in your wetness before bringing it back to your clit, moaning at the feeling.

“fuck, anakin, feels so good” you cried out, tilting your head to look at him and seeing him gazing at your pussy in awe.

“i bet it does, angel, you were so sore, so desperate for this,” he said, reaching out and trailing a finger along your dripping slit, your hips jerked, heart pounding, “gonna come that quick, fuck, do it, baby,” he prompted. you pressed the toy harder to your clit gasping and crying out, the sight of anakin before you, the months of waiting, wanting, it all built up and before you could even react the coil in your stomach snapped and you came with a sharp moan, the vibrator still pressed to your cunt as you twitched through the aftershocks of your orgasm. then you felt it, something wet and warm trailing through your fold, you looked down to see anakin now lying between your legs, his tongue buried in your cunt.

“ani” you sobbed, switching the vibrator off and tossing it to the side, anakin taking this as his chance to wrap is lips around your clit and suck. you all but screamed, still strumming with pleasure and overwhelmed by the feeling of his mouth on you, it was hypnotic.

“did i tell you to stop?” he asked pulling back and grabbing the vibrator and flicking it on, pressing to to your abused clit, you gasped, looking down at him with wide eyes, “you are gonna hold this while i eat you out okay, you move it and i’ll stop,” he commanded.

“but, ani, it’s so sensitive,” you told him and anakin simply scoffed.

“you can take it, sluts like you can come as many times as you need to, bet you are still aching for relief,” he said pressing it down harder and you screeched, “take it,” and you did, grabbing the toy from his hand and holding it there as he burried his tongue back inside of you, licking into your sopping walls.

“oh my god, oh my god, anakin please,” you begged one hand slipping down to his hair, tugging on the dark strands with a sob. the vibrator on your clit was brutal, stirring up another orgasm in quick sucession to the last but anakin didn’t stop, he continued to lick and suck while you trembled, slick pouring from your slit as you jerked violently, cumming twice before anakin finally let up.

“you taste fucking divine, angel,” anakin said, his face glossy with your cum, you couldn’t move, couldn’t think as he switched the vibrator off and tossed it to the ground. “fuck me, i’ve never seen such a pretty girl before,” he crooned, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand before crawling up your body and pressing a dirty kiss to your lips. he tasted of salt and your release and it made your body ache once more.

“ani, ani, please,” you begged against his mouth, you werent sure exactly what you were begging for but you needed it, needed him.

“sh, angel, its okay,” he said gently, running his hands down your hips sothingly, “tell me what you need” he prompted and you wailed, he looked stunned, “hey, come on talk to me, too much?” he questioned but you shook your head violently.

“need to feel you,” you said through heaving breaths, clumsily reaching out and grasping his cock that pulsed in your hand, he spluttered out a moan, rocking his hips into you, head of his cock catching your clit with such delicious pleasure that you swore you almost saw stars. “inside,” you demanded, words failing you in that moment of utter want.

“need to prep you first,” he said, gently removing your hands from his cock before sliding his fingers through your throbbing heat finding your slit with ease and slowly sinking one finger in.

“more,” you begged almost instantly, hands clinging to his shoulders and anakin complied, sinking another finger inside of you, pumping into your wet heat as you babbled and cried.

“never imagined i would have you like this, so desperate for me,” anakin panted, “wanna know a secret, i’ve wanted this for so long, have pictured taking you so many times,” he whispered, “i came reading your diary, seeing how much you wanted me,”

“anakin,” you said, hands coming to his cheeks cupping them so that he would face you, you could see the raw desire that danced behind his pretty blue eyes, “i’m ready, please,” and he complied, slowly lining his cockhead with your swollen hole slowly inching in. the burn was intense, a tearing feeling consuming your cunt even as you leaked more slick onto his sodden cock. you gasped, more tears streaming down your cheeks as anakin slowly inched deeper.

“you can do it, baby, doing so well for me,” he praised as he sunk deeper, inch by inch before burying himself at the hilt and staying there, “look at that, angel, you did it,”

“oh, oh fuck,” it was nothing like your dildo that was all solid plastic and cold feel, instead it was warm and hard and sending your body into overdrive, it took a few moments to adjust to the feel of it, the intrusive weight uncomfortable but not unwelcomed, and it was all worth it to see anakins face. his eyes screwed up in pleasure, bottom lip pinched between his teeth as he tried to stay still for you. “move, you can move, please,”

“you sure, baby,” anakin gasped, voice tight.

“yes, please,” you agreed, he started slow at first, gentle shalow thrusts that allowed you to get used to the feeling of it, but soon he began to speed up, sinking deeper inside of you with each thrust until you could feel the tip pressing against your cervix, the pleasure was indescribable, you never knew it could feel like this, so all consuming. “yes, yes, harder,” you pleaded with him.

“you sure,” he gasped out.

“yes, i’m okay,” you nodded, and anakin listened, suddenly there was nothing between you but the heat of your skin and the slick of your bodies, a mix of sweat, cum and spit. it was disgusting, a sick merging of your bodies, anakin’s face was burried in your neck, sucking crimson marks onto your sensitive skin while you clawed at his back, manicured nails cutting into his golden skin.

“shit, you feel fucking amazing,” anakin said against your skin, grinding deeper, “such a good little pussy for me, taking me so well,” he told you, “you need to come on my cock again, wanna feel you cleanch around me, okay?” he said and you nodded frantically.

“please, ani,”

“that’s it, good girl,” he cooed, thumb coming between you to circle your clit, you could feel your orgasm building as he jerked into you, his thrusts getting sloppy and you knew he was close, could tatse it on your tongue, you needed it, needed him. “i own this pussy now,” he hissed, “gonna make every single one of your dirty fantasies come true and then we can try some of mine,” anakin told you, thumb speeding up and pleasure exploded behind your eyelids, everything went white and you were gone. when you came too anakin was hovering over you still cock in hand jerking himself off frantically.

“ani,” you whispered, hand coming up shakily and grasping his cock jerking it lightly and anakin came in thick hot spurts all over your chest and face while you took it happily. he collapsed down beside you, pulling you in so your face was pressed against his chest, leg cocking over his hips. “wow,” was all you managed to say.

“better get ready baby, this was only the beginning,” anakin smirked, pressing a kiss to your sweaty forhead and you couldn’t wait to see what else he had in store for you, and you thanked the stars that you had made that little diary.

▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁

part 2???

[m1ssunderstanding]

Notes on Nowhere Boy

Finally posting the long version of the close-watch I did for @sleeper9's Fete zine. The bad thing about me is I hate spending money and love pirating shitty quality versions of movies. The good thing about the Beatles fandom is we're used to dealing with grainy pics. Anyways, here goes!

The opening ten seconds really do set the tone for the film, and here's why. It's the opening of A Hard Day’s Night where the boys are running from a hoard of screaming fans and George biffs it. John sees him go down, laughs, and keeps running. Only here, it's just John. George’s fall has been erased, making John into a cocky, if slightly insane, little lone hero. 

Mimi: do I ignore you? No. So please don't ignore me. Me: ummm, yeah you do ignore him, Mimi. Enough to leave deep psychological scars. But it's fine. Moving on.

Ugh, Uncle George is so sweet! I wonder how much of John's sweetness he learned from him. I wish we knew more about him.

Actually that was Jim that set up a cord running into Paul's room from the radio downstairs. But it fits Uncle George's character, so it works. 

Why did they make Mendips look a lot more working class than it actually was? No fancy iron fence, no pretty hexagonal outcropping, no stained glass veranda? 

Aaron Taylor Johnson is nailing it though. The laugh sounds very John, and this posture? Perfect. 

Okay but if that doesn't heartbreakingly encapsulate John and Mimi I don't know what does. Uncle George has just died. John goes to Mimi, wraps her from behind in a tight embrace and lets out a sob. Her response is to push him away. “Please, let's not be silly. If you want to do that, go to your room.” Alright, it's making me feel things, it's winning me over. 

John making his cousin Stan go and ask Mimi where Julia is is also extremely accurate. Always had someone to do the dirty work for them, all of them. 

Mimi's concern as John's going to visit his mother in the “bad” part of town is very good to have in too. “And you will be careful, hmm? Careful who you talk to.” And John's response, “it's only Blackpool, Mimi.” It's true. It could've been Speke, or the Dingle. Which Quarryman did I read saying Mimi didn't like John even leaving Woolton?

John's hurt little face when he finds out his mum, all this time, has been less than a bus ride away is a very clever way to show us his painful confusion about the whole situation. 

Trying to remind myself that this is a very anti-Julia pro-Mimi movie that will try to make me think she's crazy. But it sure is doing a hell of a good job. She hasn't seen him in years and suddenly she's hand feeding him desserts, kissing him every chance she's got, flirting all over the place. “Do you know what it means? Rock and Roll? Sex.” “Don't tell Mimi, alright? This is our little secret. Promise me.” And to a poor affection-starved boy, that's going to feel good. That's going to put thoughts in his head like “this is how it should be”. I mean I know she was wild and fun and sexy and irresponsible. And I know John did have weird thoughts about her. But I hope she wasn't actually this crazy. 

But the weird Freudian thing aside, he's got to be so terribly confused hearing the woman who effectively abandoned him declaring her love for him. Between Mimi and Julia, John would've had such a messed up idea of what that word meant. 

The Daily Howl, my absolute beloved!!

Nowhere Boy John watching Elvis: damn I've gotta get the girls screaming for me like that! Actual John watching Elvis: he's so beautiful! He's perfect! I'm in love!

Also I do not think sixteen year old John was that good at fingering. Just saying. 

This part always drops my heart cold into my stomach. Poor John. Poor poor baby. You can hear his little boy voice calling, “mum? It's me.” And she mutters, very annoyed, “go away.” Again. I have to remind myself that this is a purposely negative portrait of Julia. But then. It is true that she was a mostly absent and wholly undependable figure in John's life. 

Sometimes dialogue is absolutely perfect. Like this – “Aw, why couldn't God make me Elvis Presley?” “Cause he was saving you for John Lennon.” “Aw I'll get you back for that, God!” And this – “you haven't told Mimi, have you?” “No point going through her bullocks if I don't have to.” “Why? She has to go through yours.” “Yeah well I never asked her to, did I?”

Ugh this whole movie just hurts so bad! How he looks to Julia as Mimi is ordering him out of her house, just begging her to claim him this time. And she doesn't until he makes a stand for himself. And then, later. “How long can I stay?” Is met with nothing. Not even a fake “long as you want, love.” It really plays into the title of the film. This boy's got nowhere to call home. And then, the final straw. Look at his face as he hears Julia agree that he does in fact need to go back to Mimi's. If I did that kind of thing, I'd actually be crying right now. Fuck, why was I knit-picking, this movie is working so well. 

 As he's announcing he's leaving Julia's, John wants her to tell him to stay. To at least pretend it's not what she wants. And she doesn't even look at him. Imagine if they did something like this in the John biopic mirrored with a scene with Paul in the breakup?

He's just so adorable looking at that guitar like he can't believe it's real.

John's gathered the og Quarrymen in the bathroom and Pete goes “I take it we're not here for a communal crap.” Idk Pete, wouldn't put it past him. It's not far off what you all do already.

It's making the Quarrymen look kinda cool here, and I really want them all to be shit except John, just because that's what I get from Paul's description. Not that he's biased or anything. He could've been watching John play with Elton John and David Bowie and he'd still say everyone faded into the background. 

Also Mimi would Not have been there. Not on her life. 

Okay now we're sort of seeing them from Paul's perspective. Bunch of losers surrounding this inimitable shining star. 

Accurate that the first thing John says to Paul is about jerking off. 

The dynamic in general is just so well-done in this first scene. John instantly testing Paul. How much shit will he put up with? And Paul instantly having none of it, showing off, and winning John over. 

All the other Quarrymen just know it's time to dust off the ole resume. 

But! Paul's fete “audition” is so toned down for this film. Although of course, accounts vary. He did 20 flight rock, yeah. But he also did it on someone's borrowed right hand guitar turned upside down. And he did little Richard and played the piano, and tuned John's guitar for him. In one telling of it, John says he asked him to be in the group right there on the spot. So. Yeah. 

But either way, watching John watch Paul is just gorgeously gay. It's giving extreme “Oooooh, he likes hiiiiiim!” It's actually illegal not to queerbate using Lennon/McCartney and I'm glad all moviemakers seem to understand the law.

Cut to “John, your little friend's here!” Can you imagine if they'd showed the “chalk and cheese” whirling dervish moment? Or Mimi making Paul use the back door? Those might change some thoughts and feelings in this movie. 

And then we get the reciprocated “Oooooh, he likes hiiiiiim!” Moment as Paul's too busy checking out John’s buddy Holly Look to remember where he is, let alone what cord they're on. And it's so sweet because Paul's the first person who gives John the idea that his real self is actually cooler than his tough-guy act. 

The little matching feet tapping?? Eee it's so cute! 

But why miss the opportunity for them to sing in harmony here?

Sometimes the dialogue is extremely inaccurate. “So mummy’s cool about baby Paul wanting to be Elvis?” “Oh she would've loved it.” Like hell she would've. She would've been as disapproving as Mimi. Then again, maybe it is accurate for Paul to be lying about that.

“Well she – she sort of – died. You know, em. If we're gonna do this we should write our own stuff.” Okay yep there he is. That's Paul. 

Also love how John gets his first calluses after Paul the bossy taskmaster comes into his life. (You know. And the reason to push himself and a person who cares enough to take the time to show him things and it makes John all dreamy staring at the stars that night etc) Anyway. It's perfect. 

And the first gig we see after Paul joins is in a venue on a real stage with a much bigger audience, and the matching suits of course. 

Mimi selling John's guitar because of a bad report card is like the lighter, kinder translation of what happened in reality when she had his dog put down while he was staying at Julia's. 

So they kinda make up for not letting Paul sing etc by having him nail the guitar instead of screw up at this gig like he did irl. 

And he's stealing Julia's attention, which is clearly Not okay with John. Reminds me of that quote of Paul's about how they were both in love with John's mum. 

George is appropriately infantile. Good. Cutie. 

The Quarrymen playing “That's Alright, Mama” as John's making up with Julia since she bought his guitar back for him. Okay. Very clever. 

Paul does Not like John disrespecting his mother after the show for obvious reasons. (“I said something wrong now I long for yesterday.”) But clearly he doesn't have the full picture here. I wonder at what point irl Paul got a full run-down from John on his messed-up family life. Or did he just have to pull it together piece by piece over the years?

And of course he jumps to light Julia's cigarette. Boy was patting his pocket for a lighter like it was the race of his life. Mister steal your mum.

Here we are, ladies and gentlemen, Paul McCartney’s number two complaint about this movie: John was Not taller than him. How dare they? Slander.  

That's one hell of a jacket.

At the party, John's of course pissed to find Paul serenading Julia in the kitchen. But Paul just wants a mommy so bad, John. Why can't you just let him have yours since you clearly don't want her? Right, because you really, really do. More than anyone can understand. But when you showed her that – how bad you wanted her to be your mum, not just a friend – she hurt you. Forced you to go through your abandonment all over again. So now you can't show that anymore. 

The washboard over Pete's head is almost exactly accurate, isn't it? John does not handle people leaving him well. 

Ugh his little voice cracking on the word “mum.” John Lennon is a poor poor baby and I will die on that hill.

I wonder how John did find out about Victoria and the real story of why he was with Mimi. No matter how, though, that's certainly a lot of mess for a young man to be carrying around with him all the time in his head. 

“When your father came back from the merchant Navy, he wanted to try and save the marriage, but your mother would have none of it.” I do feel like we're going with Alf’s version of events here, the one he sold John in order to get into his good graces after he was famous. Which is, again, not fair to Julia. I wonder how little Julia feels about this movie. 

In fact, I think this part –  “who do you wanna be with, John? Do you wanna be with me or do you wanna be with your mum?” – has been categorically disproven. But it certainly does make for some high drama. And John himself did believe his father's story, so there has to be at least some emotional truth there. 

Nowhere Boy John: There's no point in hating someone you love. I mean really love. IRL John: How do you sleep, you cunt?!

There he is. Art School John. Though he fell in love with every iteration of John, I think this one never left his head because he was one of the earliest Johns, and he was a John Paul had to fight for, you know, with all the Stu business and dead mother anger.

He really does an excellent job of playing John, though, when he's written right. “Woman took her kit off and we painted her breasts. Not actually physically. I got my eye on you two.” Ridiculous. Charming. Off- putting. Adorable. 

Ignoring the fact that I prefer to think of “Hello, Little Girl” as being about Paul (“you never seem to see me standing there”) and they're making it about Julia, this is a lovely scene. With John somewhat unsure still of his songwriting abilities and Paul looking up at him from the floor full of admiration. 

Oh he's gonna murder someone. To be fair, I think playing Julia's banjo at her funeral is exactly the type of insensitive thing Paul would do, because he just thinks and feels in music and it makes Sense to him even though of course it's going to piss John off. 

Hilarious, and probably accurate tbh, that Paul's pissed John off so he gives Pete a bloody nose.

But here we go, the number one complaint about this movie from Paul, which I think is actually valid. John never hit him and that was important to both of them and it's disrespectful to portray it and play into the myth of their rocky, angry relationship. 

But maybe in 2009 that's what it took for them to be able to show John Lennon and Paul McCartney in a genuine, loving embrace, crying into each other's necks about mothers. It has to be preceded by John punching Paul in the mouth. 

If I was John's writing partner, my biggest beef with this movie would actually be the scene where they're recording ISOATD and making it look like John wrote it and played the guitar solo. But Paul's never even mentioned it. Which I guess really shows he cares far more about the legacy of his relationship with John than his career legacy. Which. If you mean more to Paul McCartney than his fucking music? Well then you must be just about important enough to have your own movie. 

This is really the Vote for Mimi Smith campaign, isn't it? Putting across the screen the fact that John called Mimi every week until he died as “Mother” plays in the background is brutal. Ouch. But it's true. “It's Mimi time.”

[mysticmellowlove]

a/n; day two is here! to remind everyone the boy of the week is Seth! also this uni week is going to kick my teeth in so I'm already going to be a little bit behind schedule :') we vibin though

warnings; handjob, sub male, dom reader, gn reader, sub yandere, degradation,

word count; 575

"I know." His eyes widened as they loomed over him, their eyes set intently on the skin of his neck, their hands resting gently on his stomach. They towered over him, having knocked him to the ground only moments before. His breathing stuttered... they knew?

"You came into my house, jerked off over my body as I was sleeping, you really are a fucking freak aren't you?" They sneered as their hands pressed into his skin, their nails dug into him. He swallowed his hesitance, his moans, his lust.

They knew he had come into their house... but they didn't know everything. They didn't realise that he live-streamed himself coating them in his cum. They didn't know that his subscribers sent in hoards of money telling him that he was such a good boy, that they looked so nice covered in his seed... that they wanted to see more content like that.

"I...I'm sorry?" Even though he knew he sounded unconvinced, he had enjoyed himself and regretted nothing. The feeling of sacrilege that he felt fisting his cock before them. The rush of euphoria of converting their exposed tummy in sticky seed, marking them as his own... as his sugar, his beloved sugar.

They only rolled their eyes as their fingers danced around the head of his cock, his mouth dropped open in a gasp. The way they were playing with him, it was like they knew that he wanted them to own him. Shudders rocked through his body as he felt his mind fixate on what he wanted the future to be.

"Sloppy boy, look at all this pre. You really are just a little attention whore aren't you? Crawling into people's houses, jerking over their bodies and thinking that you'd be able to get away with it." He looked up at them, his eyes blurry from the beads of tears that threatened to run down his face as if he was nothing more than a debauched whore.

"Only you." He managed to breathe out between his moans, only they got him to feel this way, only their body made his mind race and his cock harden. Everything they did was wonderful, every word they said was gospel.

"Only me? And what have you done to prove that? Why should I believe someone like you?" Their eyes were gazing deep into his soul as if they knew what he was thinking at every given moment.

"Show me, show me you're dedicated to me and only me." A small smirk curled onto their lips as the slick sound of their hand moving rhythmically up and down filled his mind. The pleasure on his cock, the feeling of his muscles tightening in anticipation.

He came with a clipped shout, their name falling from his lips as their hand languidly stroked him through the wave of pleasure, their fingers so soft yet so demanding on his sensitive skin.

The whispers of their voice pulled him back down from the high he was sitting in as they pulled him into their warm embrace. He loved moments like this as well, when he could just be vulnerable in front of them after they had seen every single dirty part of him and his mind.

His eyes flickered up to his bookshelf, the small lens of his high-performing camera glared back at him. Teasing him about his dirty little secret.

[nightiingaled]

death drabble | @neverwholelahey [4NU815]

There was a celebration happening in the bar. Someone's gang initiation gone right. 4NU815 had very little interest in whatever was going on truly, but encouraged their drinking all the same. Someone was up to some terrible karaoke and that had the man bright-faced and laughing. All in all, business was going well and the night itself was only half over.

8L1NK was working around the tables, picking up near empty bottles and tipped over glasses of sewer water. If she felt any distaste for the work, she kept it to herself. And for the most part their patrons behaved themselves around the teenager - not that 8L1NK couldn't handle herself if the need arose, but surely their fear of misbehaving in front of the owner himself was far stronger overall.

"How's our guest?" he questioned as the girl passed by with brand new, full glasses.

"Sleeping in the back. Had a long day running around again."

"Byan again? I wonder if she should be hanging around them so much."

"They're not so bad - anyway..." she leaned against the counter a bit, "Byan will teach her how to survive this place if no one else can."

"Perhaps you're right," he sighed, shooing her off to serve their customers.

He finished cleaning cups and turned to get into his pitcher of tap water. It was dirty like all the tap water, but he'd spiced it up with some spare greens he'd gotten to take the edge off. 4NU815 took a few gulps, and each swallow drove him to drink more. Strange. The more he drank, the dryer his mouth got and something tasted OFF, more so than usual.

A man leaned against the bar, avoiding the joyful cacophony of the far off corner. No his eyes were on 4NU815 and the glass still held in his hand. "Can I get you anything?"

"You already have. Where's the girl?"

He felt it now, burning inside of him. The glass dropped from his hand, shattering against the floor. 8L1NK turned her eyes on him and ever so calmly, he shook his head. She pretended to go back to serving, but kept her eyes on the two of them.

4NU815 leaned forward against the bar, breathing slowly as if he could stop the poison's path within him. A cough shuddered out of him and with it blood spattered across his hand. "Leave."

"You're going to die, old man. Give her to me and I'll give you the antidote."

4NU815 slammed his hand down on the bar, ignoring how his arm had begun to shake. "I said...leave." And the joyous noise around them seemed to die, all eyes turning to face the bar. Weapons were being drawn and approaching the stranger. He seemed unperturbed at first, until a knife pressed into the center of his back. "Barman said leave," a voice drawled out, "I'd say you listen to that order."

"I'll be back for her. And you won't be able to stop me." The hoard of customers pushed the stranger out the doors and 4NU815 managed to stand for only a few seconds longer before collapsing to his knees. 8L1NK rushed to his side as he vomited blood onto the cold metal flooring. "Anubis!"

"Poisoned," he wheezed, gasping for air as he began to hemorrhage from his ears and nose.

"I'll get Dox!" she jumped to her feet, ready to FLY for the other, but 4NU815 pulled her back. He placed two hands on her cheeks and pulled her close. For a minute he thought of his words, thought of saying goodbye, thought of all the things he never told the child. But he decided against them all. "Take Kit with you...out...out the back way..."

She nodded and burst away, through the secret door and hopefully out the back. The gang party had returned and 4NU815 was aware of different people hovering around him, unsure what to do. He looked a horrific site he was sure, but he tried his best to reassure them. "Go back to your party boys...you got - you got to live your lives..."

He knew it was too late for him. 8L1NK wouldn't return in time. But that was okay....he was ready to go. Ready to see his family again. When he closed his eyes he saw his daughter running towards him, "Tali..."

He was finally home.

[masteryminutes]

Mastering the Art of Productivity: A Hilarious Journey through Smart Goal Setting

Embark on a hilarious journey with Max Achiever as he conquers everyday challenges through smart goal setting and strategic planning. Learn the art of elevating productivity with clear objectives, turning mundane tasks into epic adventures. Discover the secrets of goal precision for success and maximize your efficiency with smart goals. Join Max in Efficiencyville and unlock your own productivity superpowers!

Once upon a time in the quirky town of Efficiencyville, lived a character named Max Achiever. Max had an uncanny ability to turn any situation into a wild adventure of goal setting and productivity mastery. Let's dive into Max's story and discover the hilarious yet insightful journey of Smart Goal Setting that transformed his life. Smart Goal Setting: Elevate Productivity with Clear Objectives Have you ever wondered how some people manage to juggle multiple tasks effortlessly while you're left trying to figure out where your coffee mug disappeared to? Well, meet Max Achiever, the self-proclaimed wizard of productivity in Efficiencyville. Max wasn't born with a silver spoon; instead, he had a magic wand in one hand and a to-do list in the other. His secret? Smart goal setting, strategic objectives planning, and an uncanny ability to turn mundane tasks into a circus of achievement. The Wacky Beginning Max's journey began in his cluttered apartment. He stared at a pile of unfolded laundry, scratched his head, and thought, "If I can conquer this mountain of socks, I can conquer the world!" And so, the legend of Max Achiever, the Laundry Warrior, was born. With a plunger as his sword and a colander as his shield, Max tackled each sock with precision and determination. His battle cries echoed through the walls, and soon, Efficiencyville was abuzz with tales of the Laundry Warrior's conquests. Achievable Milestones: Slaying the Laundry Dragon Max realized that strategic planning was the key to his success. He broke down the laundry battle into achievable milestones — conquering the whites first, then the colors, and finally, the dreaded mismatched socks. With every load, Max celebrated his victories, turning his laundry room into a war room of productivity. Transitioning seamlessly from one task to another, Max learned that results-oriented productivity was all about clear goal frameworks. His laundry escapade was not just about clean clothes; it was about mastering the art of setting purposeful targets. Precision in Productivity: The Great Dishwashing Expedition Emboldened by his laundry triumph, Max set his sights on a new frontier — the treacherous realm of dirty dishes. Armed with dish soap and a spatula, Max faced the Great Dishwashing Expedition. This time, he applied methodical achievement planning. Max strategically aligned his goals, tackling plates first, followed by cutlery, and finishing with the menacing pots and pans. Efficiencyville marveled at the precision in Max's productivity. The sound of clashing dishes echoed through the town, a symphony of achievement that reached even the furthest corners. Intentional Goal Alignment: Conquering the Email Mountain Max's reputation as a productivity guru spread far and wide. The mayor of Efficiencyville approached him with a daunting task — conquering the Email Mountain. Max, never one to shy away from a challenge, donned his virtual armor and set forth on this digital adventure. With intentional goal alignment, Max sorted through emails like a knight sorting through a dragon's hoard. Urgent messages became his fire-breathing adversaries, and spam his mischievous imps. Max emerged victorious, having vanquished the Email Mountain with strategic planning for success. Goal Clarity Mastery: The Epic Grocery Quest Max's journey wasn't all battles and conquests. One day, faced with an empty fridge, he embarked on the Epic Grocery Quest. This quest required goal clarity mastery as Max navigated the aisles armed with a shopping list that rivaled ancient scrolls. He dodged temptation and stayed true to his purposeful target setting. Max's cart became a chariot of abundance, filled with fruits, veggies, and the occasional guilty pleasure. The town applauded his prowess, realizing that even mundane tasks could be turned into epic adventures with the right mindset. Goal-Oriented Productivity Hacks: Taming the Procrastination Dragon In the heart of Efficiencyville lurked the Procrastination Dragon, a mythical creature that preyed on the unsuspecting citizens. Max, ever the hero, decided to face this dragon head-on. Armed with a calendar and a motivational playlist, he devised goal-oriented productivity hacks to tame the beast. Max discovered the magic of time-blocking and the power of rewarding himself after each completed task. The Procrastination Dragon, once fearsome, now cowered in the face of Max's strategic planning for success. Strategic Planning for Success: The Battle of the Home Office As Max's legend grew, he faced his biggest challenge yet — the Battle of the Home Office. This strategic planning for success required the precision execution of a military operation. Max armed himself with sticky notes, highlighters, and an ergonomic chair, ready to conquer the chaos. His home office transformed into a war room, complete with a mission control center. Max strategically mapped out milestones, turning his workspace into a fortress of productivity. The Battle of the Home Office became a case study in efficient productivity through smart goals. Elevating Productivity with Clear Objectives: Max's Legacy Max Achiever, the unsung hero of Efficiencyville, left a legacy of productivity and laughter. His hilarious journey through smart goal setting taught the townsfolk the importance of clear and achievable goal pursuit. Max proved that purpose-driven productivity targets could turn even the most mundane tasks into epic adventures. In the end, Max Achiever didn't just elevate his own productivity; he transformed Efficiencyville into a town of goal precision for success. The townspeople embraced smart objectives for productivity mastery, navigating success with precision goal setting. And so, the tale of Max Achiever became a bedtime story for Efficiencyville's children, a reminder that with strategic clarity and intentional goal alignment, anyone could achieve greatness. In conclusion, whether you're facing a mountain of laundry or the Procrastination Dragon, remember Max's mantra: "Elevating results through clear objectives is the key to unlocking your productivity superpowers!" Read the full article

[fan-burns]

Chapter 7: Ratchet’s POV 

It was almost too easy to get to Bigweld Industries. 

The Doctor wanted to stay behind to monitor the generator while I took the Conduit to Bigweld’s. After I stepped out of the Chop shop, I was able to hitchhike in some random bot’s car. I told him where to go, and we set off without any resistance. He was an elderly fellow, and drove at his own pace, but I would be able to get there eventually. It gave me some time to think. 

Originally, Harvey was going to drive the two of us there. After I let him out of his cell, though, he wasn’t all too “fond” of me anymore. He didn’t want to see what I’d done to the city…and more importantly to Rodney. Apparently he grew fond of him over the years, and a part of me wonders if he’s loyal to me or him. I wonder if he’s been telling us the truth about what he found.

See, Harvey was great at getting company secrets, things that neither of us had ever known. Bigweld’s wealth, his so called charity, hell, Harvey was even able to dig up dirt on the fat guy’s family. The entire Bigweld family history was left to be forgotten, only for Harvey to rediscover it. Every dirty detail that could leave an irreparable gash in Bigweld’s image was found by a single bot on day one. Day. One.

He was able to discover all of that, but for whatever reason any questions about Rodney were off the table entirely. Where does Rodney live? Oh, he lives in Bigweld’s basement! What happened to Rodney, Why did he disappear? No idea! What about Rodney’s family? They left him in a box floating down the waste lines, he’s an orphan! …Actually, I’m pretty sure that last answer was true. 

Regardless, Harvey’s been decent so far, but now I wonder if he plans to betray me and give my head to his new boyfriend as a gift. He’s a great guy, especially when he’s caught between a rock and a hard place, but I can’t get attached to him. Especially since I know damn well just how dangerous someone like him can be. I’ll have to ditch him before he ditches me. 

As I pondered about all of the ways he could get rid of me, I failed to notice how close we were getting to Bigweld’s, and in turn I failed to notice the crowd that had gathered along the street until it was staring me in the face. Thousands of bots had surrounded the streets, and they all had their dead, soulless green eyes locked onto me. 

Course, by pure instinct, I recoiled back and would’ve fallen out of my seat if it weren’t for the seatbelt. I was used to crowds of bots wanting to tear me to shreds, so it was any wonder why I was gripped with fear for a moment.

“Don’t worry sir,” spoke my driver in a voice somehow more degraded than the Doctors, “They won’t be getting in here so long as I stand!”

Sir? No one’s called me that in years…I could get used to this.

The car sped up as the monument of Bigweld came into view, the crowd trying to follow as we sped by. Even after a sharp turn they still continued to follow us. Waves of heads and arms were quickly gaining, almost grazing the car doors, but they suddenly stopped in their tracks as they realized where we were going. 

I’m guessing my “Bigweld Bad, Me Good” speech was enough to make them absolutely petrified of him and his business. As we arrived at the gates, the hoard had disappeared. The elderly bot pulled up to the gates, and I let myself out. 

As I was getting the Conduit out of the back seat, he spoke to me. “Be careful sir, who knows what’s still in there…”

The fear and caution in his voice made me curious. “What do you think is in there?”

“A super weapon that can level whole armies, signals that can kill the mind, magnets strong enough to control anything, the list is endless…All I know is that you’ll be able to handle it sir.”

Now this was interesting…I waved him off and set my sights for the throne. This EMP thing is stronger than I thought. It hasn’t even been a day yet and they’re already coming up with different tales and legends of the Big Bad Bigweld that held them captive for so long. It was almost too perfect. Did I tell them to do it subconsciously, or are they doing it on their own? Do I really care? No, I don’t. If it keeps Bigweld from trying to stop me, so be it. 

I hadn’t even passed by the fountain before I found Rodney. I almost jumped when I saw him. He was sitting on said fountain facing the doors inside, with his head in his hands trying to soothe whatever ailment had befallen him. The EMP must’ve really hurt him if it was causing him that much pain. He probably damaged something when he was trying to fight it. 

The motion reminded me of how strong he really was. He was a fool for trying to fight off a radio signal, sure, but the fact he tried and almost did fight it off was enough to scare me. It was by pure chance that he was able to beat me, so it’s ironic that I was able to win over him by pure chance alone. 

I still can’t believe I was able to break him down like this…I could feel a rush of some powerful emotion that I’ve never felt before. Was it Pride? Accomplishment? Some other third thing? I didn’t have time to dwell on it though…I still have to see my handiwork for myself. 

As I approached him, I couldn’t help but be taken aback by his new appearance. His face looked different, but I couldn’t figure out why as it was concealed by his hands. His head crest had changed slightly, taking on the form similar to an ax. His shoulders followed a similar trend as well, having taken on a teardrop shape. At some point during the past four years he traded in his cylindrical shape for a streamlined box look, making him appear more athletic. 

So everyone else isn’t allowed to have new shiny parts, but he is? Hypocrite. 

The thing that really caught me off guard the most was his replacement legs. I knew that Rodney disappeared a while back. I didn’t know much of the details, but I’d figured that Rodney was in some sort of accident. Of course, I had no idea that this would be the result of that. As I examined them from afar, I noticed that his replacement legs looked eerily familiar…like they came straight out of Harvey’s closet. 

So Harvey did know what happened to him! I knew it! I’d be furious as to why he did speak up about it…but I’m guessing this is the reason why. Now Rodney’s one step closer to becoming an exact copy of Harvey. The last thing I need now is two Harveys!

Bracing myself for any conflict, I gently tapped his shoulder. As I did so, he leaped from where he was sitting at lightning speeds, with his face fixed directly onto mine. When the two of us met face to face, I finally figured out what was different. He had a little beard piece attached to him, making him look slightly older. 

That wasn’t the only difference in his face however, as his eyes were now a sickly green hue. The light that they emitted was bright enough to reflect off of the oil that fell from the fountain just above us. It was like staring into a set of headlights, and I fumbled backwards a bit at the sight of them. 

“R-Ratchet!” He stuttered, “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there! I just got out of that place and…wait, how did you get here so fast?”

“Well, as it turns out, older models have a few tricks up their sleeves,” I replied as I got back up on my feet, “There’s a shortcut from here to the…my secret resistance base.”

I almost mentioned The Chop Shop like an idiot. I had no idea what they believed in, so I had to be careful with what I said. I can’t risk breaking the illusion now, not when we’ve just won. 

Much to my surprise, Rodney let out a sigh of relief at this revelation. “I’m just glad you're here. I want to get out of here as soon as possible. It gives me the creeps…I can’t imagine what I did for that monster while I was in there.”

Monster? Did he just call his boss, his number one idol, a monster?! Oh if only I had my camera! Keeping myself composed, I took a seat on the fountain’s ledge, propping the Conduit against the fountain wall. 

I motioned for Rodney to sit back down. “Why don’t you...talk to me about it for a bit? It’ll help me fix whatever he did to you.”

He looked skeptical, but he obeyed without question, and sat back down beside me. I knew that Doctor V. was an evil genius, but I had no idea that he would’ve been capable of creating something so…effective. 

“I'm afraid I can't remember much of anything.” He explained to me. “Everytime I try to remember, my head feels like it’s being split apart.” 

Keeping up with my act, I made up some science magic. “Well that makes sense. Bigweld had these special…um, memory wiping tech! Yeah, he made them to keep you dependent on him!”

Nailed it. 

“But what about my family? Do I even have one?”

…Well shit. Ok, think Ratchet, what do you know about his family? Nothing. Nothing at all, thanks for that Harvey. Eh, screw it, let’s just make something up! 

“Um…no? No, no you don’t. Your family left you on the side of the road in a box, you remember that?”

As I spoke, a look of realization had spread across his face. “A box…yeah. Yeah you’re right they did do that!”

I couldn’t believe that he was buying this! Is this EMP really that strong?! Oh what am I saying, of course it is!

He looked at me pleadingly, begging for more answers to his questions. Answers that I had to make up as I went along. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all.

“If I don’t have any family,” He began again, “Then what’s my purpose then, sir? What was I forged to do for you? How can I serve you?”

I nearly had a stroke as he finished that sentence. He was really devoting himself to me. He wanted to be of use to me…he wanted to serve me. It was then when I realized that I had an actual answer to this particular question…and that I already told him it before.

“Your name is Rodney Copperplate.” I explained, “You're the owner of a small repair shop a short walk away from an Upgrade store known as Jackhammer’s. You mostly do car and upgrade repairs, but you’re known for selling upgrades on the side.”

“Jackhammer…who is that?” He questioned again.

I’ve seen Jack before in newspapers, like when the press interviewed him about Rodney and his merrily rusted crew. I knew what he looked like, and I knew where his shop was, so this was another easy answer.

“He’s a small fellow, little round guy? Giant hammer and wrench in his head? Hobbles around?”

He pondered on this answer for a moment, before finally accepting it as a cold hard fact. “Ok, I think I know who that is. Where’s my shop then?”

When I was the most wanted bot on the planet, I used to hop around from abandoned place to place to look for parts and scraps to repair myself. I knew about an abandoned house near Jack’s, and it was the perfect place to put Rodney at. Not only will it be next to a cell tower to insure he stays obedient, but it’ll also be in a spot where I can easily drive to if I need to. 

“I’ll have a ride summoned for you to drive you there.” I stated. “I can’t guarantee that it’ll be a luxurious ride, but it’ll be a ride nonetheless.”

“I still have some questions,” he spoke up. “If that’s alright with you sir.”

As much as I wanted to get this over with, I couldn’t. If he still has questions about his life, he could question my commands and rebel. We are still talking about Rodney here. One wrong move and he could annihilate me in a matter of seconds one way or another. 

“What else did you want to know?”

He lifted up his hands, and I nearly had a stroke as I realized what he was showing me. “Do you know what these things are?”

Wedged in the palms of his hands were these…things. It was some strange, circle pad that sat in his hand, with a smaller one at the base of his thumb. His hands were horribly scratched and scarred, like they were hastily repaired and he tried to paint over the rest of the damage. They were embedded deep within his hands, and by the looks of it they were hard wired to his systems. If Bigweld and him were crazy enough to hard wire them in there, removing them was out of the question. Unless of course…Rodney was open to living without his hands.

According to Harvey, Bigweld and Rodney wanted to bring Mods back to the market to try to help with sales. From what I’ve heard, It did help them out a bit, but it wasn’t enough to save them entirely. Now the real question is why the hell didn’t Harvey tell me that this was what Rodney’s Mod was?! What the hell were they thinking?! What do they even do?!

“They were on me when I woke up,” he went on. “I’ve never seen anything like them. Whenever I try to take them off, some sort of force stops me.”

“Well, I-um…well see that’s, um…”

I was starting to stutter. What was I supposed to tell him?! I don’t know what they do, but it can’t be good for me! They could be a threat to my plan, they could…hang on a minute.

They could be a threat. They could be illegal…they can be dangerous in my city…I could make anyone with Mods go to the Doctor, like I told Rodney earlier! That way he could either shut them off, or he can get rid of them.

…I had an idea.

“Those,” I explained to him, “are what are known as “Modifications”, or Mods for short…they were Bigweld’s big experiment on everyone.” 

“E-experiment?” He stuttered. It was almost too rewarding to see him so afraid of Bigweld. 

I nodded to complete the act. “Depending on the Mod, they could give a bot a unique ability. Some can fly, some can be stronger than usual, others can burrow underground and others can control electricity.” 

He looked confused as I explained it. “So why were they a bad idea?”

“It sounds like a good thing on paper, but it was awful in practice!”

“What do you mean sir?”

“I mean that those Mods came at a price…your freedom.” I spoke dramatically.

His face turned to horror as he realized what I meant. I should become an actor at this rate. 

“It was how he controlled you all,” I went on as dramatically as I could, “It was how he fell from grace…”

I looked to the doors to be extra dramatic. It’ll help with the authenticity. 

“We worked together on them, we wanted to make it easier for everyone to fulfill their purpose. It was going strong at first, but then I wanted to lower the price.”

“And he didn’t want to,” Rodney completed. “You said he betrayed you…how did that happen?”

“He tampered with the Mods…made it so that everyone listened to him. Eventually he developed an EMP to control everyone who didn’t have mods or couldn’t afford them. If anyone fell out of line, they’d be scrapped and turned into upgrades. It got so bad that I had to flee underground with whatever support I had left. I got lucky enough to have two of my most capable subjects with me.”

…Wait, subjects? That was weird, why did I call them that? I didn’t have time to dwell on that though, as Rodney had even more questions.

“Who were they?” Rodney asked.

“My second in command, Harvey. Along with my scientist Doctor Veyizmer. Harvey was a spy for me, while the Doctor worked on a way to snap everyone out of it.”

“I think I remember Harvey…didn’t he have heels or something?”

Shit, maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned him. Then again, I won the game, what’s the point in keeping the secrets?

“Yes. He’s been gathering intel on Bigweld and keeping an eye on you, since you were Bigweld’s second in command. I’m glad he did too, otherwise I wouldn’t have known about…well those.”

I gestured to his hands, and he pulled them close to his chest. “What do we do with them?”

“Simple,” I said, “Get rid of them…but if we can’t get them off, just keep them off and covered, and you should be good to go. I’ll have to get The Doctor to look at you, but just listen to him, and you’ll be fine.”

“R-really? It’s that easy?”

“I wouldn’t say easy…but definitely possible so long as you resist it.”

“Resist it?” He questioned, “What do you mean, sir?”

Now for a bit of theatrics. “We may have beaten Bigweld, but knowing him he isn’t going down without a fight.”

I placed a hand on his shoulder. A part of me expected him to pull away, but instead he leaned into it. His eyes seemingly became brighter as they locked onto mine. 

“His influence could still take control of you and everyone else with Mods,” I whispered harshly. “So it’s important that you never, ever use them, no matter what happens.”

“...What’ll happen if I do?”

“We’re not entirely sure yet…but I doubt anything good. For all we know, you could lose yourself forever this time.”

The more I spoke the more afraid he became. His eyes became wider and fearful all the while as I was lying to him. He was likely imagining all the ways that Bigweld could come back to hurt him, to rip him away from me and back into his workshop to do Cog knows what to him. With his fear came that feeling again. That satisfaction, that triumph, that feeling that you get when you’ve realized that you’ve done it! 

If I wasn’t careful I could be swept away by it, overwhelmed by it! But with that feeling came another feeling. Dread. I should be the one who’s afraid here, not him! I’m the one who got away with taking over an entire city overnight. I can take it and lose it just as easily…and knowing Rodney, he’ll likely be the one to steal it back from me!

“Sir, please,” he begged, desperation laced in his voice. “I’ll do anything you want, just don’t let that happen to me again!”

Again, it was almost too rewarding to see him like this. He was practically clinging to me as he begged for me to save him!  “Once everyone is settled into their lives again, you’ll be taken to see The Doctor as I’ve said. You’ll be the first patient he sees. If he deems you safe, you can stay as a citizen to me. If not, well…”

I leaned in closer to him, but not too close. I felt a scowl form across my face as the glow of his eyes grew even brighter. “…I’m sure you know what’ll happen.” 

“Death.” He continued bluntly.

I wasn’t planning on death, but I prefer his option then the one The Doctor had in mind. It’ll be quicker to get rid of him that way if he steps out of line…and it’ll be more humane.

“Do you have any other questions, Copperplate?” 

“J-Just one more,” he spoke hesitantly, “I promise it’ll only take a second.”

Reluctantly, I nodded in agreement. He turned around and picked a phone that I failed to notice earlier and unlocked it. I nearly blew a fuse after I saw the woman he was referring to on the Lock Screen. 

“This woman,” he questioned cautiously as he pointed to her, “She isn’t the same one that Drillbit saw, is she?”

Cappy. Her arms were laced around him as she hugged him from behind. It took every ounce of my power and control to keep myself from strangling the little blue brat right then and there. Instead, as calmly as I could, I gave him his answer.

“I’m afraid that it is.” I spoke through a clamped jaw. “That…is Cappy. She’s Bigweld’s right hand bot, and is about as horrible as he is, if not even more so. She’s a cruel woman, a heart made of pure ice! I bet she gets a kick out of breaking people's hearts. If I were you, I’d destroy that phone. It’s probably filled with vile things thanks to her.”

I heard a small growl emit from his engine, and I could barely make out a scowl on his face. Much to my absolute pleasure, he looked at the picture with disgust in his face. If I didn’t know any better, I would’ve assumed that he was going to toss his phone in the fountain. Disappointingly, he merely held onto the phone long enough to set it aside. I’m praying that he destroys it later. 

The anger and betrayal in his face didn’t last long, as his face quickly softened as he turned back to me. His voice was soft, but there was still a hint of anger present in his tone. Obviously not directed at me, Cog forbid, but rather at his other half.

“That’s all I needed to know,” he said quickly, “I-I’m ready to serve you, sir.”

Finally. Once I get rid of him I can focus on what I really came here for. That, and celebrate the fact I just turned him against his so-called girlfriend. Buh bye Rodney, hellooo Ratchet!

I stood up from the fountain and grabbed the Conduit. Rodney followed my lead, but took care to grab his phone. With the Conduit in hand, I tapped it twice on the ground. Within a matter of moments, a small car had pulled up to the gates. The car was a rusted hunk of junk, completely void of any decency. A large hole was in the driver’s window, revealing the incredibly small driver. 

Rodney looked at the vehicle, stunned by its convenient timing. “How did you-”

“That would be my signature “Ratchet magic,”  I interrupted him. “Works every time.”

The Conduit, at least from how I understand it, is an extension of the EMP. It helps reach all the places that the generator can’t because of distance. It also helps with commanding someone from afar, as is the case with this random bot I just summoned. Course, you still need the generator to power the Conduit, but I have no idea how that thing works, so I’ll stick with the fancy magic mind control stick explanation.

The tiny yellow ball guy in the front poked out of the broken window. “We came ‘ere as fast as we could, sir! Ready to go when you are!”

I gently nudged Rodney towards the car, encouraging him to enter it. I expected him to protest, but again he obeyed without question. He grabbed the car door, and opened it without hesitating. While he eyed the car with an obvious distrust, he still entered the death trap and strapped himself in. 

“I don’t want a single scratch on him!” I called to the driver, “Just get him to where he needs to go! Get him to Rodney’s Repairs!”

I still want to kill him, but I don’t want anyone to hurt him. That’s my job. He’s my problem, so I get to kill him. Case closed. 

“Don’t worry sir!” The driver called out again, “He’ll get there in one piece! ”

He looked down at the pedals of the car. “Hit it Hacc!”

“Wait, who’s Hacc?!” Rodney called from the back.

Before he knew it, the car had sped off from the gates. As it escaped from the gates, Rodney’s screams for help echoed into the distance. 

So much for “one piece”. If he dies on the way there, those two baseballs are next in line for the Chop Shop.

Turning my attention back to my prize, I glanced at the building behind me. As I waltzed back to the door I noticed something moving from beside the stairs that led to the doors. Out of the corner of my eye was a small, black figure. A much smaller one flying beside it. Before I could get a good look at what it was, it darted in the opposite direction, its small feet echoed across the courtyard as it ran for cover.

How the hell is there a rodent infestation here of all places?! Did those two really let this place go?! I already have a lot of fixing to do, so the last thing I need is more problems! Regardless of this new development, I carried on without any more delay. After everything that I went through…I was eager to see my brand new, much cleaner, office space.

[dragon-heisters]

Session 32, 8 Apr 2023, The Last Session: "Got any o' them shit-ache mushrooms?"

Nuri has come down with something awful but soldiers on anyway. Legend. Suggested talking points: Pfenig is late, how not to die in a hyperbaric chamber, 'tis the season for baby sheeps.

Nuri takes Pfenig for a while, and we’re off. Okay, so we are in the dungeon where we have been told the hoard of Dragons is located. We’ve hopped over one collapsed bridge, and it turns out the other wasn’t supposed to fall so the DM has put it back. For now. Vervain edges up to it but chickens out, as Dex is their dump stat. Dainty Hazel tiptoes over first instead, after some sorting out of Windows as people’s scroll bars are disappearing.

There’s another door, do we have to rub the dwarf on it like last time? Hazel checks it for traps and locks. 17. “You can’t see any traps!” Wonderful. Natty 20 for 24 total on Perception, she hears nothing but a few spiders scuttling around behind it. She picks the lock. an 18 is good enough! What’s behind it, something nice? Hazel peeks through.

A ten foot tall statue of a dwarf. The ceilings are 20ft high. There is a trap door in the floor with a pull ring directly in front of the statue. Nuri uses the rope between Hazel and Vervain as a guide, and walks across the bridge. Pfenig squeezes his puffball stress ball and follows him. Vervain shrugs and crosses as well, without incident.

Vervain looks at the statue; it’s Gorn, the dwarven god of vigilance. AKA Fire-Eyes. Hazel: “Ah, so he’s like a traffic warden.” Any buttons or pulleys or switches? Hazel makes an Investigation check - 15. Other than the statue and the trap door, the room is empty. No sign of secret doors or loose floor tiles.

Look down the trap door then? Nuri opens it. DM, gleefully: “Excellent, make a Dexterity saving throw please!”

He rolls a five.

“Right. Here’s what happens.”

The statue’s eyes glow red and fire shoots out of them. Nuri halves it, but it’s still 11 points of fire damage. “Well, those temporary hit points were short lived.”

We think the trap door might be just a fake, designed to make us hurt ourselves.

Hazel, shaking her head, disappointed: “Oh, Fire Eyes.”

Vervain looks more closely at the statue; no buttons or levers. They think that maybe something was kept in here at one time, but it’s long gone now. Nuri has a little sulk, and we leave.

Good thing it wasn’t Pfenig who got toasted, or we’d all be smelling burnt mushrooms by now. This leads to a quick aside about the pronunciation of the word shiitake, which leads naturally to this:

“Got any o’ them shit-ache mushrooms?”

We remember that it was when Nuri touched the ring that the fire shot out, not when he actually pulled it. If we can wait, Nuri can summon his Unseen Servant to tie the rope to the trap door, and we can all pull it open. If we want. He does something stupid instead and manages to exit both himself and Hazel out of the game.

***We’ll be right back after these messages! Is 5e too tame for you? Are you looking for more challenging tabletop gaming? Try new Pathfinder! Deadlier traps! Sassier goblins! More frequent and evil DM laughter! Ask your DM about Pathfinder today!***

(Pfenig pops in during the impromptu intermission, yay! “Sorry, I fell asleep.”)

Nuri is rethinking the trap door, he doesn’t think there’s anything useful under it. Wait - actually we just want to check.

DM: “Where do you all want to be?”

Vervain: “Well now you’ve said that, out of the room.”

As soon as the rope touches the ring, the fire shoots out again. Okay, never mind.

We chuff on over to the middle bridge. The gap is about fifteen feet; Vervain jumps across leaving the other end of their rope with the others. Nuri wants to use Pazuzu as a glider; he can’t, but he gets inspiration for the idea. He makes an Athletics check instead and rolls a dirty 20, hopping over with ease.

Pfenig could be a panther again, but then he won’t have any wild shapes left. Could we have a short rest once we’ve jumped?

Hazel ties the rope to him and he takes a big run-up (Athletics check) - Big fat seven! Vervain makes a Strength save at Advantage because of Nuri’s help and rolls a 5. Nuri spends his Inspiration to let them re-roll it, and they get a 20! Between Nuri and Vervain, they drag Pfenig up onto their side of the gap.

Hazel is the last one left. We give Pazuzu the rope and he flies over, so Hazel can tie it around herself. She takes a run-up and rolls a 17, making it over without incident.

Now we are faced with another charming door. Hazel approaches and does her thing. The DM has bad news for her - there is no lock, and yet somehow it’s locked. She Investigates the door; nat 1.

“Ohhhh, I hit my head.”

Do we need the dwarf? Pfenig has a disguise kit, we could disguise Pazuzu as a dwarf…?

Is it magically locked, perhaps? Pfenig casts Detect Magic. He only bloody detects some magic. It’s an Abjuration spell.

Vervain tries giving it a shove but to no avail.

(Pfenig: “How come we’re not so much better at Dungeons and Dragons by now? We've been playing for ages!”)

We send Pazuzu to go and get the dwarf; we drag him across the gap in the bridge with the rope, and shove him in front of the door which opens straight away.

Four suits of rusted plate armour without helmets, dwarf sized, stand in each corner of the room beyond. 20 feet high ceilings. Dwarfish runes on the far wall, which we shove the dwarf at.

‘A secret never before told will part Durmathoin’s lips.’

Pfenig, Nuri, Vervain and Hazel make Religion checks; all useless. The dwarf stares at us. “That’s the dwarven God of Secrets.”

Nuri and Pfenig step into the room. Any like, scorched patches on the walls? Not that he can see. Pfenig takes a look at the armour. As well as being rusty, it’s covered in cobwebs.

No sign of treasure.

Any lips in here that look like they might part? Even the suits of armour don’t have mouths. Should we just start announcing secrets, Nuri asks?

You first, Vervain tells him.

We’re stumped. Pfenig just says a secret at the room.

“I ran away from home because I was ashamed of my family, and now I regret it.”

Is that true?

“Yes.”

Has Pfenig ever told anyone that before?

“No.”

A staircase appears in the floor!

Vervain plays tank as they have more hit points, and Pfenig goes second. Goddess of Death and the Anger Issues Fire Noble in the back.

Streams of sunlight pour down from the 30 foot high ceilings. Statues of dwarves, and piled in one corner is a fuck off huge pile of treasure!

The dwarf in the room suggests we come back later as the place is a bit of a mess.

… What?

The dwarf is called Arc Clanghammer. (sp?) This is his vault.

"We came for the tour, is that okay…?"

No no, there are no tours. Why did we come here?

“Well, it all started a long time ago…” Nuri begins. He then resorts to the truth. “Well, for the treasure, really. Please?”

We are told that the treasure belongs to Lord Neverember.

“Oh! No, no it doesn’t,” Nuri tells him. Pfenig is starting to feel unsure. Oh wait, Lord Neverember embezzled it from the good people of Waterdeep! That changes things somewhat! Pfenig turns back to the dwarf with righteous fire in his eyes.

The dwarf raises an eyebrow at him. “Stolen? That’s quite the accusation. Who does it belong to, then?”

Pfenig pulls us all into a huddle. “Who does it belong to?”

Nuri: “Well, who does gold ever belong to, really?”

“So you want the gold for yourselves?” the dwarf asks.

“No, we wanna give it to a pirate,” Nuri tells him. Pfenig is unsure again.

Nuri sums up what exactly our plan is for the gold. We want to give it to a Lord in a different city so he can make things better for people in both cities. "I forget some of the finer points."

The DM reminds us that the money was embezzled from the citizenry via taxes. Neveremeber planned to take it all with him. We want to give it to Jarlaxle who has promised to return it to the city in order to get a seat at the table in Waterdeep, minus a little bit for us.

Armed with that reminder, Nuri makes a Persuasion check with Guidance - 22 total.

That will do it! The dwarf thinks it over. If we would be so good as to follow him. We do that.

The dwarf has been tricked, it seems, into guarding this vault. It’s only right and proper that the gold is returned to the people. How do we plan to remove it all, he asks?

Well Nuri’s got this lamp -

A big gold dragon appears in the room. Oh it was the dwarf! Ahhhhh, okay.

Wait - there was the Staff of Egeron? Jarlaxle offered us extra money if we could retrieve that? The dragon tells us his real name - Auranax. He holds up a staff. Is this the one?

He won’t be parting with that, he tells us. Nuri: "Entirely understandable. One less thing to worry about."

We could have Jarlaxle’s drow help us remove the gold…? Will Auranax allow our friends to help us move all of this? He will.

Great!

We head on back up out of the cellar, making - wait, Perception checks?

We are almost at the huge double doors where the stairs lead up to the mill, when Nuri hears hushed, guttural voices. Something is coming down into the vault.

We are allowed a round to prepare, so we hide and cast some protective buff-type spells before rolling Initiative. Come hell or high water the DM is determined that this will be the last session, so off we go!

One of them dies before ever getting into conflict with us; we make Perception checks. Vervain hears voices speaking in Elvish - “Bullshit. I’ll kill twice as many in one shot.”

Vervain doesn’t recognise the voices, but Thessalie might have…

They ignore it and attack the closest bugbear. The flail misses but the Spiritual Weapon anvil does not, crunching into the bugbear's head.

The leader of the group lets out a horrible scream as it is impaled by something we can’t see, and dies. Huh?

Pfenig takes a Frost Ray from the - Gazer? - and makes a Dex save but fails and takes 10 cold damage. It’s his turn.

He casts Shilsdgdfkhgjfghklh and uses Symbiotic Entity, using his last Wild Shape to do it, and gains 20 temp HP.

Nuri has something he’d like to share in a 20 foot radius sphere. Fireball! (*chanting* level 5! level 5! level 5!) Dex saves for a bunch of bugbears and a Gazer. They all fail their saves and take 30 fire damage; the Gazer turns to ash. Nuri blows on his finger pistols. He pops back round behind the pillar, and the Goddess of Death is up. She shoots at one of the bugbears with a 25, stripping it of all but 5 of its HP. She hides, vanishing from sight.

Another bugbear introduces Pfenig’s skull to his morningstar - but he has to make a Con save first. He rolls a two, and takes a mighty eight necrotic damage, as Pfenig rolls max on his damage dice!

Another takes a swing and a miss. This is a piss-poor show. Pfenig gives him a wink.

A drow appears and stabs a bugbear in the kidneys. We’ve met this guy before! We chased him across a rooftop! He said no hard feelings, so we’re cool. He’s very loyal to Jarlaxle.

His mate pops up and takes a stab as well, killing another one.

Vervain lifts up their Spiritual Weapon anvil and drops it on the bugbear again for another 8 damage, and takes a swing with the flail again - another miss. I don’t think I've ever hit anything with this bloody flail.

A bugbear trips over the flail Vervain has discarded and misses with their attack. The one in front attacks Vervain as well and hits. “My skull! I’m using that!”

The Gazer makes two eye-ray attacks against Pfenig and Vervain, but both make their saves. We ain’t even bovvered.

Pfenig finds himself and Vervain surrounded. Fortunately one of our assailants has brains dripping down the side of its face. He takes his Shildfjgkldsghjsg’ed club and cracks the one in front of him “like a morning egg”. It hits but the bugbear is still on its feet, somehow.

Hearing the clattering, banging and swearing, Nuri pops his head out. He sees five enemies; he is going to fire a Scorching Ray at some of them. He, as a Warlock, must cast the spell at whatever level spell slots he has - so he must, Must, add an extra ray. All four hit! The bugbears are standing still, but very ropey-looking now.

Hazel takes a shot at a bugbear but the shot goes wide. Nat 1 - Twang! If this attack was made with a bow or crossbow: roll a d10. On a 1-9 the weapon’s damage is reduced by 1d4 until repaired. On a 10, the string snaps. She rolls a 9 so the bow doesn’t break, but only just.

A bugbear attacks Vervain from behind and hits for 9 damage. Pfenig makes his wounds go manky, and he dies.

Vervain casts Sacred Flame on the one who’s been savaging them from behind and explodes it in a puff of golden ash.

Meloon Wardragon appears, and shouts to Nuri. “You alright up there, kid?”

Nuri has mixed emotions about this. Meloon adds that he thinks he owes Nuri a drink or ten.

“… Cool.”

One of the bugbears sidles up to Pfenig and takes aim with his morningstar. Pfenig’s head stays on but he has a ringing in his ears now.

The Gazer moves to bite Nuri, but misses. Pfenig swings around to the one that just hit him and gives him “a taste of Shildfgkdhjljjh, right in the teeth.” 6 bludgeoning damage. He’s still up, somehow.

Nuri, who now has a Gazer in his face, wonders what the range is on Burning Hands. A 15 foot cone, he is told. In that case he will cast another Racial Ability Trait spell - Flame Blade. This is new!

15 fire damage, and a how de do dis! He cuts it in half, cauterising each half as he cuts. Xanathar will not be pleased about this.

Hazel does a bit of shootsy-shootsy, and hits with a 25. 19, minus a d4 brings it to 15, but she gets a how de do dis! "You know the bit in LotR where the troll dies? A bit like that. It’s almost sad."

Vervain backs up and casts Guiding Bolt on the last remaining bugbear - doing 20 radiant damage! They stare at their hands in disbelief. The bugbear hits Pfenig, who Hellish Rebukes it, saying in Infernal, “Hey, less of that.” The Hellish Rebuke only does half the damage as the bugbear makes its save, but it’s enough - how de do dis!

“Would you just stop it!” With his words alone, Pfenig kills the last bugbear.

And with that, we have beaten not only the DM’s dungeon puzzle, but also his Dragon Heist puzzle!

[heavenbarnes]

feels so good to be us

Fezco (Euphoria) x Female Reader

Warnings/Contains: mentions of drug use, mentions of guns, implied violence (all canon-typical), swearing, mentions of alcohol, unprotected sex (this is fiction, yours isn’t, wrap it), dirty talk, light degradation, light choking, rough sex, light slapping, oral sex (f receiving)

Word Count: 4.5k 

no secret that i fell in love w the guy whilst watching the show, so we’ll just see how this goes

She blew into town one day, seemingly out of nowhere, but not without purpose. Having reasons to be there was one thing, having reasons to stay was a whole other. Lacking in the latter, there was a lot to be grateful for in that one night.

The party that cracked on in a reasonable house, she was told by her friends that’d it’d be a good one. What she wasn’t told was that this was a party that was teeming with teenagers, horny ones in spandex and rhinestones.

A long way from home and everything was different.

Lucky enough, she poured herself a cup and hunted for a spot that was more around her age. Last thing she needed was to be caught up with a hoard of 17 year-olds looking to make trouble.

Whoever owned this house also came equipped with cash, judging by the indoor pool she stepped into, eyes up and trailing along the carefully carved architrave. Eyes far too transfixed to notice the young man on the lounger.

“You came looking for me?”

The voice made her head snap towards his direction, rolled smoke resting between his lips and steadily fingering a roll of cash. Narrowing her eyes at him in hesitation, she traced her finger around the rim of her cup.

“I don’t think so?”

He took his eyes from his counting and let them cast over her, that’s probably the first thing to pique her interest. Those kind of eyes you could fall into, pretty eyelashes too that almost made her want to smile.

She knew that he knew she was staring, but he hadn’t said anything about it, he didn’t seem to mind.

“You not from around here, huh?”

Straightening up and stepping forward a bit, she got closer so she didn’t have to shout across the room.

“No sir, I drove in this morning from out East.”

He nodded more to himself than he did her, tucking the money away in his hoodie pocket before leaning back on the cushion of the lounger. He took the cigarette between his fingers and tapped off some of the ash, eyes still nonchalantly drifting over her.

“Called it, I would’a remembered you otherwise.”

In trying not to let the corners of her mouth turn into a smile, it transformed into more of a pout, bordering on a frown. There was something about this guy, something she couldn’t put her finger on.

“You would’ve?”

“Yeah, cause you wearing clothes,” He answered, making any expression on her face dry out. “You seen those other girls?”

Looking down her front, she had to admit that her belted trousers and high-necked tank was considerably more than what any of the high-schoolers were wearing. Shrugging her shoulders with a nod that spoke of “fair enough”, she managed to draw a chuckle out of the guy.

“That and you cute.” The inflection was so cool she almost missed it, but that wasn’t to say it was lost on her.

Scuffing her sneakers against the poolside tile, he shifted forward along his seat and watched intently at the way she no longer fought the grin on her face. Didn’t know the guy from Adam, but he was already tweaking some kind of feeling in her.

“Who you here with?”

She lifted her head and gestured back towards where the noise of the party was drifting through the door. “My friends Ocasio and Seraphine, made me come to make friends but they didn’t say they’d be teenagers.”

He nodded knowingly, muttering something about knowing them too. “They all so young, why I’m only here for business.”

So the inkling in the back of her mind that he was a drug dealer was correct, making his first comment make a lot more sense. In an attempt not to seem like a total fucking loser, she shifted the conversation.

“They said I should look for some guy, said that I’d probably like him.”

The man lifted a brow, before throwing his gaze over her shoulder in his turn to admire the architecture. 

“Yeah? They give you a name, not a lot of people I don’t know.”

She thought on it for a moment, she knew it reminded her of That 70′s Show, and that is sounded remarkably fake at the time.

“Fezco, I think? If that’s even a real name?”

His shoulders bounced as he chuckled a little, eyes moving back to her own. He had one of those stares where it was intense, but there was nothing in you that wanted to look away.

“Nice to meet you too, mamas,” He lent back again and propped his foot up on the seat. “Do I get your name?”

In attempting to avoid looking like a fucking loser, she’d managed it anyways. Her cheeks burnt as she nodded with a nervous laugh, smiling out of necessity before offering him her name.

He made some remark about her still being cute, before they were cut off by a couple of young people tripping down the stairs and narrowly avoiding the pool. They made a line for Fezco, hoping to make a purchase off of him.

She couldn’t help but feel a little out of place, in the move of things she started to step back to where she came. An obvious cast of disappointment fell over her as she began to pull back from it all.

“Mamas,” That voice stopped her in her tracks. “Just lemme do this, I ain’t done ‘whichu yet.”

Just like that, she’d found a reason to stay. From that point on, you didn’t see her without Fezco by her side, with a hand on her lower back.

They were polar opposites, but MC. Kat said those attract so that could be said for why they’d done so well together. She was warm, kind, and so gentle it’d make your heart do fucking flips.

She was the softest thing that Fez had ever got his hands on, and he’d be damned if he was ever going to let it go. He was open with her, showed her all the bad things that he did and he’d done, and she chose to love him anyway.

If you asked Fezco, she felt like home, she was safe to come back to after a long day of doing things he wasn’t proud of. No matter how many times he made shitty choice after shitty choice, she knew the heart that rested in him was inherently better than anything.

Nothing made that heart fuller than seeing her own coming through, you want to talk big hearts? You start with her. She was the very definition of love, patient and kind, and it wasn’t uncommon for Fez to pinch himself in wonder of how he got so lucky.

The days she sat beside his grandma, holding her up as he brought the sponge along her back. Never a complaint, she’d just smile at Fezco, at the gentleness of his movements. The smile that said “I’d never want to be anywhere else.”

And if his boys were on their way around to fetch payment, nothing had to be said. She’d quietly tuck away in the bedroom, laying in silence as she daydreamed of a life where Fez was totally happy. In her visions they live in the countryside, he never has to look over his shoulder and he is forgiven.

She was always the delicate to his rough around the edges, but that didn’t mean she didn’t know exactly what was happening. You couldn’t mistake her kindness for stupidity.

“Mans, I don’t think you know what you getting into.” Fezco’s voice never shifted from that calm tone.

Nate Jacob’s shit eating grin made the hairs on the back of Fez’ neck stand up, the kid using his height to try and forge an ounce of intimidation. Unlucky for him, the man in front of him wasn’t a 17 year old cheerleader with daddy issues, he couldn’t scare him.

Nate would still give it his best shot.

“You obviously don’t know what you’re doing with me, I will fucking ruin you.” His bark through gritted teeth drifted up the hallway.

“You came to my house, ‘tryna start shit with me,” Fez never backed down, nearly chest to chest. “I never gave a fuck about you.”

The sound that came from Nate was a scoff, the disrespect was evident as he looked down on the other man. “So you’ve forgotten how you threatened my life?”

As he lifted his hand up towards Fez’ throat, he wasn’t able to clock her on his right quick enough.

She calmly padded down the hallway, shorts and her boyfriend’s hoodie draped across her body as she approached the scene before her. Left hand coming to lift the hem of the sweater and right coming to grip the glock stashed in her waistband.

By the time Nate Jacobs even knew she was there, he could already hear the safety coming off. His hand stilled as his eyes drifted over to her.

“Take another step, playboy.” Eyes staring down the slide and right at the guy in her sights. “Pick up your nuts, and get out of my house.”

Nate looked back to Fez, meeting an almost unfazed expression. His eyes came over to her and the barrel aimed between his eyes.

“The cops coming here didn’t teach you a lesson? You want them coming back here looking for guns too?”

Her laugh rolled around the room, drifting between the three of them as her eyes narrowed.

“Yeah, go ahead and call the cops again,” Her grip on the pistol never faltered. “I’m sure Fezco’s boys would love to hear about the little bitch that had the pigs sniffing around their supply.”

There was no missing the way Nate’s jaw clenched at the sentiment, the thought ticking over in his head that he might’ve finally met his match. The match that he’d tried to chat up in the convenience store, right in front of Fez with his own girl in the car.

“Everyone knows your name, Jacobs,” Fez wasn’t the only one he couldn’t scare. “Would hate for it to be dropped around the wrong people.”

The quarterback brought his arm down from her boyfriend’s neck, turning to face her with the gun only following his movements. Fezco stepped off him, making his way over to his girl.

He stood behind her, chest to her back as his hands rested against her waist. Lips moments from her neck as his eyes trained back on the teenager trying to raise hell in his own living room.

“Is that a threat?” The sour expression on Nate’s face was nothing short of unattractive. She didn’t know a lot about Maddie Perez, but she knew the girl could do better.

“No, it’s a fucking warning,” In an instant the gun was turned on it’s side. “I won’t say it again, get out of my house, before I fucking kill you.”

It didn’t take much more before Nate was dragging his knuckles out of the house, door slamming behind him. At that sound, she had the safety back down and was placing the gun in Fez’ hands.

He chuckled, turning her towards him with that same grip on her hips. His hands came back to put the gun in the band of his drawers, before he was shifting to cup her face. Fezco could feel the heat radiating off of her cheeks.

“Do I even ‘gotta tell you how fine you look waving my piece round like that?”

She matched his laugh, heart still beating wildly in her chest. Shaking her head, her lips came to Fezco’s, feeling the plush of his lips moving in time with hers. “I will definitely leave that up to you.”

“But you looked so good handling it, mamas.”

Brushing off his comment, she gripped his hand and lead him up to the bedroom, muttering something about him looking even better.

Sitting on the edge of the mattress, Fez stood in front of her, looking down at the woman who’d kill for him. He knew he’d found his absolute other half, there was no doubt about that.

He lifted the glock to her face, trailing the muzzle along her cheek before she turned her head gently and gave it a sweet kiss. He shook his head, leaning down to tuck it under their mattress.

Kneeling down before her, parting her knees so he could nestle in there, his face was so close to her own that she could feel the heat in his breath.

“You mean everything, baby, I fucking love you.”

That was what it was all about, the perfect balance that existed between them. Whilst Fezco might’ve been the guts, and she was the glory, there was no doubt that they’d always be what each other needed.

The first time in a while that Fez had felt was able to be vulnerable, was the moment he sunk into her arms after a grim night. She didn’t ask any questions, just wrapped him up in her and reassured him that she felt nothing but adoration for him.

On his part, he’d found paradise in a girl that was sweeter than an angel, but was always down to let him fuck her like a whore.

She wasn’t really down for a Halloween party, but she was always down to dress pretty and be on the arm of her man in the cleanest suit. Platform heels and a flowery mini dress, it was the godfather and the hippie, sat outside by the pool as the smoke from Fez’ blunt cast a cloud around them.

Thoughts drifted back to the moment they met, looking an awful lot like this.

Teenagers dipped in and out of the house to buy off her boyfriend, she just sat back with her legs up in his lap, feeling his fingers rubbing against her calf every now and then.

She said hello to the girls as they drifted past, but nothing felt better than when it was just the both of them, enjoying each other’s company as those under the influence stumbled around them.

Fezco let his hand drift slightly higher up her shin, calloused fingers coming to trace along the curve of her knee. She watched the movements of his touch, not ignoring the way her skin prickled underneath the graze of his nails.

Taking the blunt from his mouth, he turned to look at her fondly, hazy smile when he found her already looking back at him.

“This your song, mamas,” He referred to the Jack Harlow joint that was coming through the speakers. “You ‘gone dance for me like you do at home?”

She smirked, lifting her legs out of his lap and stepping out in front of him. “Depends if you’ve got the money to throw.”

Slowly spinning around for him, her hips swayed in a motion that he followed intently, catching onto the way her dress lifted with each movement.

“You trippin’ if you think ‘imma pay for what’s mine.”

Stopping the swing of her hips, she moved in closer to where Fezco sat with his legs spread wide. Moving between those legs, she bent over over and braced a hand on each of his knees.

“What are you tryna’ do, big man?”

Fez lent forward in his seat, lips coming to gently press to her own before he spoke in a hushed tone, better to keep his private moves private from the kids swirling around the both of them.

“I’m tryna’ blow your fucking back out.”

One thing could be said for Fezco, the man could keep his word. The minute he got her into the bedroom, large hands splayed across her hips and gripped tight enough to leave a mark.

Lips ran up the column of her throat, the graze of teeth left in the wake of his movements. Heady moans slipped off her tongue and filled the small room, coaxing Fez to move a little quicker.

His girl was getting impatient and he was never one to keep her waiting.

Turning her in his hands, he still had a mean grip on her waist as he moved her knees to perch on the edge of the bed. One large hand spread in the center of her shoulder blades as he pushed her chest down onto the mattress.

“Be a good girl and arch your back for me.”

Stomach dropping down and hips rolling back, she shook her ass for him as Fezco shifted up the hem of her dress, revealing the pretty lace she wore just for him. His hands gripped her thighs, spreading them further apart till she got even lower.

One hand came back to slap the cheek of her ass, a sorry moan ripping from her chest as he massaged over the spot. Feeling the way his thumb traveled down the line of her underwear, grazing over where she was wettest for him.

Hooking around the band of the thin panties, Fez slipped them down her legs, sucking in a breath seeing how wet she’d been for him this whole time. She shook her hips, presenting herself to him like a meal he’d been waiting to be served.

“What got you so fuckin’ needy? Or you just always begging for it?” His voice rumbled through his chest, hitting her straight between the thighs.

“It’s always you, I just need you to fuck me.”

Two thick fingers dragged up her slit as she rolled her hips back for him, eager to catch anything that felt like pleasure. This teasing was nearly killing her, but he was damned if he wasn’t going to make her work for it.

“You ‘sposed to be a good girl but you lost your manners.”

Whining out, not caring how pathetic it must’ve sounded to him, she shook her ass again. Doing whatever she could to draw him and make him give it to her like she needed.

“Please, Fezco, I fucking need you.”

The sound of his belt coming loose was like music to her ears as his thumb gently dipped into her wetness. So close to getting what she wanted, he was never good at keeping anything from her. Especially not when she looked this pretty.

She felt him run the blunt head of his cock through her wetness, resting at her entrance for a moment. Tiny cries and whimpers still fell steadily from her pouted lips, Fezco sliding his hand down her back until his fingers fixed around the back of her neck.

“Drive me fuckin’ crazy,” With one thrust he filled her straight up. “I never felt anything like you, baby.”

Her cheek pressed against the mattress with his grip, filthy moans drifting through the air as she felt Fezco wrecking her. His other hand still gripped tight at her hip, pulling her back onto him with every thrust.

It was never better than when it was this nasty, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes as he fucked her dumb, the only thing on her mind was his name as she sang it back to him. 

He loved the sound of her crying out for him, pussy clenching impossibly tight around him. Fez knew every spot within her, exactly what to do to make her come apart under his hands.

“You so fuckin’ tight, mamas,” He gritted his teeth as his hand slid from her neck to grip her shoulder. “Tryna’ make me buss’ quick.”

A filthy giggle rolled straight off her tongue, before it turned right back into another cry as Fezco hit that spot just right. The hand on her hip slipped under and before she knew it, her eyes were rolling back as his fingers moved quick against her clit.

He nearly ripped a scream from her, moving his hand back to slap her pussy, before rubbing that same spot. He was going to be the death of her one day, the way he always knew exactly what he was doing.

“Baby- I’m ‘gonna- I’m ‘gonna,” Her words dropped off as she moaned for him under the pressure of it all.

“You good, ‘lemme hear it.”

Clenching like a vice around him, her whole body tensed up as the white hot feeling of her orgasm rolled over her. There was no doubt the neighbors would know about it, the way he never let up on her, had her crying out off the top of her lungs.

Fezco dipped his hand under her throat, fingers lightly fixing around it as he pulled her up to kneel. Falling back against his chest as he kept fucking her through it, her hand came back to grip his thigh.

She knew he was near his end, his hips were stuttering and the way he was groaning in her ear, she knew she had him good. Turning her head, her nose brushed against his face so her lips were moments from his skin.

“Come in me, please, baby.”

That was all it took, his arm flying around her waist as he gripped her hard to him. Hips stilling deep inside her as he filled her up, a vulgar cry from her as she felt him hot and running in her. Sliding his hand down her chest, he crossed his arms against her, nuzzling down into her neck.

“Maybe you are a good girl, huh?”

There was no doubt that she wasn’t just good, she was the best. Who else was going to sit patiently with their feet in Fezco’s lap as he counted his money and chewed through a pack of cigarettes.

Couldn’t find another girl that’d stand by his side at the town carnival, looking just as sweet as the cotton candy she was placing on her tongue as locals came asking around for their friend Molly.

Hot summer days outside the convenience store, popsicle between her lips as her sundress flutters gently in the breeze. Fezco ready to round up anyone that stared just a little too long.

Maybe it was all that candy that went past her lips, but there was never anyone who acted, or tasted that sweet.

Hearing the door shut, her mouth naturally curved into a smile. He was home, meaning he was safe, meaning she was safe and content. Fezco rounded the couch to where she sat, one arm braced behind her on the cushion as he lent down to kiss her.

Hands naturally coming to cup his chin, she felt the scratch of his beard in her palms as his mouth moved gently against her own. His shoulders dipped with a sigh, one that told her he was just as happy to be home as she was to have him.

“You seem so tired,” She cooed as she separated their lips. “Let me take care of you.”

Her hand trailed down the front of his sweater, coming to rest on his belt. Fezco pressed her hand down, against his crotch, bringing their lips back together. As she moved her other hand to start undoing his belt, he squeezed her hands to stop them.

Placing a hand on either side of her thighs, he dropped to kneel in front of her, before wrapping his hands around her knees and parting them. Fez lifted each of her legs and draped them over his shoulders.

Rough hands pushed the bottom of his hoodie, that was currently covering her, up her body and exposing her scantily clad lower half. Shallow breaths came from her as he dragged her panties down her legs, shifting her hips closer to the edge of the couch.

“This the only place I wanna’ be right now, angel.”

Her breath came across as choppy as she relaxed back into the couch, feeling big hands grip the the skin of her thighs. Fez’ head moved between her legs, pressing a kiss straight to her slit.

Hands coming to hold his head, thumbs massaging against the skin as her hips rolled forward toward his mouth. Darting his tongue out, he drew it up and along her until it came into contact with her clit.

Drawing his tongue around the nub, he felt her legs tense up against his shoulders. Fezco’s hands gently rubbed at her legs, feeling her relax once again into him.

The soft little whimpers that only she could make fueled him like nothing else, dragging his tongue quicker in an attempt to draw any sounds out of her. Her hips bucked up with the sensation of his tongue, pulling his face in closer.

“God, Fezco, you always make me feel so good.”

Humming in response, the sensation moved through her from between her thighs and deep into her. The feeling of the tip of his tongue against her clit made her toes curl up, feet running along the length of his back.

Fez wrapped his lips around her clit, sucking the sensitive nerves and making her call out his name. Her chest rose, arching her back off the couch as her thighs tensed around his head.

He never let up, just continued the assault on her clit as she writhed beneath his grasp. Fez couldn’t get enough of this feeling, having her wrapped around him and completely falling apart in his hands.

She couldn’t believe how lucky she got, having a man that walked straight through the doors and got on his knees for her. There was never a moment where Fez didn’t have her feeling like she was in the clouds.

Her whole body burnt hot as his tongue dipped into her, before dragging back up. Eyes falling shut and fingernails running down the back of her head, every time he moaned at the feeling it hit her straight where she needed it. 

“You’re ‘gonna make me come, please don’t stop.”

Fezco’s eyes flickered up to her, watching the way her whole body moved for him and her head kept falling back in pleasure. To have her reacting so strongly to him, he hoped she couldn’t see the way his cheeks were starting to burn.

“Go ‘head baby, come for me.”

The high-pitch of her whine pierced the air as her hips stuttered against his mouth. She felt her body relax, the feeling of pleasure consuming her entirely as Fez let her ride his face out of her high.

As she came back down to Earth, he came back up to her, hand wiping down his beard and watching the glow of her face. Lazy smile across her face as she reached out for him, going back to his belt.

“You going to let me take care of you now?”

One day they’d roll out of this town together, find their peace and spend their time looking forward without a care. Until then they found peace in each other, holding one another close.

More than anything, they’d found hope in each other? That this wouldn’t be forever, that you could find forgiveness in whatever you’d done.

Whenever there was a doubt, she just echoed those words back to him with a smile, the ones that she’d never forgotten.

“I ain’t done ‘whichu yet.”

[moemoemammon]

Frenzi vs Demon Daikon, who would win in a fight and why would they be fighting?

OOO this is a good one and I love things that make me think deeply about the character traits o my ocs...

So both D!Daikon and Frenzi are master manipulators. 

Frenzi’s part of the newspaper club and thrives in the chaos he purposely entices. But the biggest thing is that he doesn’t lie, surprisingly enough for a demon. He’s so good with his words and hoards secrets, so it’s no wonder he can spin those secrets into big ass conspiracies that stir up trouble. He’s the least and most trustworthy guy out there.

Meanwhile, D!Daikon thrives off of being needed. He’s constantly picking new ‘victims’, and gets into their heads by telling them every single thing they want to hear. His relationship with others is never romantic, but the false sense of security he gives em usually makes them believe it is. Too bad he’s a liar, and a good one at that. He sticks around until the object of his affection can barely function without his input, and then he moves onto the next person.

So if it were a battle of wits, I dunno who tf would win. They’ve probably got a mutual respect for one another, but wouldn’t interact unless they’ve got no choice. If it were a literal fight, mmmmaybe Frenzi? He’s a little rat boy and fights dirty so he’ll go for your Achilles right away. But he’s also tiny and physically weak, so if he got caught it’d be hella easy for D!Daikon to clap him into oblivion. 

[jadedxrealityw]

-Never Meant To Be- Draco Malfoy x Female Reader

    ☼-🐍-☼

   Request: What about a angsty fic with Draco where he doesn't want to reveal that he's with a Hufflepuff (even tho she's a pureblood) bc of his image, and she sees him flirting with Pansy and she decides to ignore him until he realizes that she's ignoring him, and he wants to approach but her friend is like "dude u fucked up i have to console her every five seconds" fluffy ending pls!

   Kody: damn, i can’t make Pansy gay in here. Sad pog. I also added some extra odds and ends for plot. I hope you still like it anyhow! Also no voldy moldy action. before i get questions, i am indeed fully aware that Fred, George, and Cedric are older then the rest of them. I just do not care lmao. 

   Year: 7th

   House: Hufflepuff

   Possible Triggers/Warnings: cursing, angst, Draco sadly being character, Cedric being the bestest of friends, eventual fluff

   ☼-🐍-☼

   you had always fantasized about what having a lover was like. Full of love, honesty, and trust. Who knew you would get secrecy and lies instead. You were in a secret relationship with the one and only Draco Malfoy. It had started almost a whole year ago.

   yes. You both were well into graduating soon and still had to sneak around to be together. You might be wondering why right? Draco truly loved you, but he was terrified of his father. Even if you were a pureblood, you weren’t a Slytherin. So if he wanted to keep you, he’d have to hide you. 

   Draco set ground rules so “We don’t disappoint anyone” you wished he had worded that differently. To sum up the short list, no interacting in public or any public displays of affection. Your were his dirty little secret. You would never want to hurt his feelings, because you loved him.

   so you agreed to his rule, but slowly it started to become unbearable. Seeing each other for little amounts each week was painful. Especially how when you were apart, Draco was the same old taunter he always was. You wondered if you made an effect on him at all.

   you were lucky you didn’t have to bare this sorrow alone. Your best friend, Cedric Diggory had found out about your little love affair when he found Draco’s Quidditch jersey in your dorm. You eventually caved and told him and ever since Cedric loathed the Slytherin seeker.

    ☼-🐍-☼

   “I’m starving” Cedric grumbled as he walked alongside you, scratching the back of his neck. He had early quidditch practice and had just came back from the showers to eat breakfast, while you had just woken up and were wearing your pjs still. 

   it was a saturday morning after students had been taking exams all week. So every Hogwarts student was in there pajamas at the moment and no one cared. “Yeah me too. After all the exams i can’t wait to graduate in a week now” you chuckle, reaching up to rub your E/c eyes.

   Cedric nods “Yeah, me and Harry have been talking about moving in together after we graduate” he says, a smile forming on his face. You gasp, nudging his arm with your shoulder “That’s great! i’m happy for you, really” he enjoys your enthusiasm, but his smile fades “What?” you question.

   he looks behind him before answering “What about you and Malfoy. What are your plans?” your expression drops. “Um well, we haven’t really talked about it. He has to work around his parents and all that” Cedric knew that explanation was bullshit. He didn’t believe Draco wanted to keep you around at all. 

   but for the sake of your heart, he sucked it up. Putting a smile he wraps an arm around your shoulders “That’s awesome Y/n. Now onwards, food awaits!” he exclaims. You break out into a fit of laughter before the both of you make your way to the great hall.

    ☼-🐍-☼

   “Cedric!” Harry shouts as soon as both of you walk through the great hall doors. Cedric leads you over to the Gryffindor table and you take a seat next to Luna. On the right side was Cedric, Harry, Hermione, and Ron. On the right side, your side sat George, Luna, then you. 

   “Geez, we’re all wearing our pjs aren’t we?” Hermione pointed out and you all let out a chuckle. “Can you blame us? Exams were such a drag. I’m surprised i didn’t throw myself off the school building” Ron scoffs. “At least they are over now. I have so many naps to catch up on” Luna sighs, leaning on Georges shoulder.

   suddenly, the food appeared on the table and you could hear the chorus of cheers come from students. Everyone started to pile the array of breakfast foods with haste. George managed to snatch the last serving of pudding and put it on Luna’s plate. You wondered if Draco would do that for you.

   you grab some french toast and piled on a hoard of bacon on your plate. “Oh merlin. Draco Stop!” a cackle bursted through the great hall, causing your small group to turn your heads towards the noise. Sat at the Slytherin table was Pansy Parkinson and Draco Malfoy, your boyfriend. Flirting.

   “What? I mean it. Your very pretty” a sharp pain came to your chest. This hasn’t happened before. Draco flirting with Pansy. He had never done this before. Why was he doing this? “Y/n?” Cedric looked up at you and reached across the table to grab your hand.

   Pansy gripped Draco’s bicep, a flirty smile playing on her features. She was beautiful and everything he could ever want. She was enough. You suddenly felt sick to your stomach and pushed up from the bench. “Y/n-” “I have to use the bathroom” you said before Cedric could get a word in.

   you began to walk away and out the great hall. ‘Damnit Draco. Why do you have to be like this?’ you thought as tears started to form in your eyes, rolling down your cheeks. You wipe them quickly and harshly. All you wanted was to be alone. 

    ☼-🐍-☼

   you had spent the whole breakfast crying in Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom. She cried with you as well. The sound of students flooded the halls and you knew that meant your friends would be looking for you. That also meant Draco would be waiting for you. 

   meeting up with Draco in the astronomy tower had become like second nature, but you didn’t want to seem him. It would hurt to much cause as soon as you would look into those grey eyes the look he gave Pansy would burn into your mind a million times over. 

   you just couldn’t. You get up from the floor, wiping your eyes “Thanks Myrtle. Your nice to talk to” you said. The ghost girl smiles, hovering over the ground “No worries! Now i must tend to my studies!” she exclaims flying into her stall. 

   smiling, you walk out the bathroom and are instantly met with the sight of your friends standing in front of the entrance. George, Luna, Cedric, Harry. “What’re you guys doing out here?” you asked, tilting your head. “We we’re waiting for you so we can hang out” Cedric smiled, his arm around Harry.

   “Hang out? Where? Shouldn’t we change out of our pj's?” you questioned. George shook his head “Nah, i’m taking all of you to my dorm for an unofficial pajama party. Now onwards and upwards” he grabbed Luna’s hand and skipped along with her.

   “Wheres Ron and Hermione by the way?”

   “Said they were busy. So probably making out somewhere”

   “ah okay”

    ☼-🐍-☼

   all of you went into the Gryffindor house and into Georges dorm passing Fred who decided to tag along because he had nothing to do today. As you all settled in George and Luna sat on the bed while Cedric, Harry, Fred, and you took the floor.

   you four sat on pillows and blankets. “Now now. I have an entire stash of sugar quills!” George announced as he pulls out a box out from under his bed. He reaches in and grabs a blue one, blueberry and hands it to Luna “These aren’t tampered with right George?” you asked as he walked over to you.

   “I gave one to Luna. Your safe, for now” He sent you a playful wink making you laugh. Fred grabbed an orange one, Harry a watermelon, and Cedric a Strawberry. George went over to you and you reached in without thinking. You liked all the flavors so why not. You grasp one and pull it out.

   green apple. George goes back over to the bed and unwraps a pineapple flavored sugar quill. Everyone unwrapped there’s as well. You looked at the quill and it reminded you of Draco. Draco, your boyfriend. Your Slytherin boyfriend who flirted with another girl.

   Snap!

   you look down at your hands. You snapped the sweet in half, leaving the middle of it in small crumbles that were leaking out the package. “Woah, what did the sugar quill do to you?” Fred says, reaching over to grab it from your hands. 

   “Flirt with another girl, treat me like i’m some sort of stain on his life, hide me away from everyone even though all i want to do is be with him. All the time!” You sputtered out, your hand going over to your mouth. Awkward silence filled the room. A ant could be heard crawling around if you listened hard enough now.

   “Y/n” Cedric spoke, sympathy was present in his tone. You felt tears welling up in your eyes again “What- What’s going on?” George spoke up, getting off the bed along with Luna. They all sat in front of you now with a look of expectancy. “I have something to tell you guys”

   Cedric shook his head “You don’t have to tell them Y/n” he said “Tell us what? Cedric?” Harry looked at his boyfriend who just gave him a sympathetic smile. You took a deep breath “I had a boyfriend for almost a year now” you said, eyes widening around you. “You what!” The twins said at the same time.

   they both quiet down after Cedric glared at them “It’s Draco Malfoy” you added. A smile forms on Luna’s face “I know” she spoke in her soft voice. George snaps his head in her direction “and you didn’t tell me?!” he exclaimed, her smile staying. “It wasn’t my secret to tell Georgie”

   the Weasley twin just sighed and pressed a kiss to her temple, mumbling something about her always being right. “You’ve been dating Malfoy for almost a year now and kept it a secret because, why?” Harry spoke up. You exhale before answering “He’s scared of what his father would think”

   Fred shook his head “More like his reputation. Wasn’t he all over Parkinson at breakfast. Word spreads at Hogwarts” he scoffs. You open your mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. “Y/n you have to start thinking about your future, with out Malfoy” Cedric speaks, rubbing your back with his hand.

   “But-” “-But nothing Y/n. I love you like a sister and i know you love him, but he’s just using you. After graduation he’s going to throw you away because that’s who Draco Malfoy is, a user and a asshole who cares about his reputation more then what’s in front of him” Cedric was fuming with anger.

   Harry wraps his arms around him, his head digging into the Hufflepuffs back. Cedric visibly calms and leans back into Harry “Sorry” he mumbles. Tears streamed down your face as Fred pulls your body next to his, wrapping his arms around you. He presses a firm kiss to your head “It’ll be okay princess”

   will it though?

    ☼-🐍-☼

    you avoided Draco Malfoy all sunday and monday. You had time to think about what you wanted and what Draco wanted. As much as you didn’t want to think about what Cedric had said, your mind did. Maybe he was right. Maybe Draco was using you for all you were worth.

   As Cedric walked the halls with Fred Weasley a certain platinum blond stopped in front of him “Diggory. A word please” he spoke, with slight irritation. “What in the hell do you want Malfoy?” he snapped back. Fred had a small grin on his face.

   Draco looked at Fred and eyed him up and down before looking back at Cedric “Alone” he says. Fred raises his hands up before nudging Cedrics shoulder. Fred walks down the hall, leaving the two alone, per Draco’s request. “Okay speak” the hufflepuff crossed his arms.

   “Wheres Y/n? i haven’t talked to her in three days. Is she okay?” Cedric hated how worried Draco suddenly sounded now after what he did. Cedric let out a bitter laugh “You can drop the act Malfoy. We both know you could care less about Y/n. Don’t you have pug face anyway?”

   Draco suddenly realized what was going on. He sighs and rubs a hand over his face “Shit. Look she was coming onto me, i was just messing around. What right do you have in our relationship anyway?” he said, clearly taking offense to his questioning. Cedric. Fucking. Snapped.

   “Seriously!? Everytime you fuck up i’m there to pick up the fucking pieces! She’s so stupidly in love with you, for some reason that she ignores it and moves on everytime! She broke down in front of me on saturday because of the stupid shit you did!” Cedric was co close to punching him the face.

   he took a couple deep breaths and stepped back while Draco stood frozen “Your not there because you don’t care Malfoy. I never said anything to her before because i wanted her to be happy, but i did on saturday. You will always care about reputation more than Y/n and she knows that now”

   with those parting words Cedric turned on his heels and walked away. Draco blinked mindlessly before walking back as well. 

   ☼-🐍-☼

   Thursday. One day till graduation. You were holding a box full of colored tinsel that needed to be in the great hall so the planning committee could hang it up. You were passing by in a empty hallway “Need any help, love?” you stop mid step, turning to your left.

   “Draco?” you slowly place the box down and look up at him. He seems nervous. He takes a step, arms reaching out for a hug but you step back instead. “Love, what you saw with Pansy i-” “You don’t have to explain Draco, i understand” you nod once. A smile grows on your face.

   “Oh thank merlin. Let’s drop this off and hang out somewhere, yeah?” he asked, but you shake your head “I understand that no matter how much i want to be with you. We’re just to different. Draco, we don’t work” you spoke, about to lean down and pick up the box again when Draco grabs your arms.

   “If Diggory said i don’t love you that’s the farthest from the truth. I am in love with you Y/n L/n, it’s just my father and the public eye on me. Please don’t do this i- i- can’t live without you” Draco was breaking down in front of you and it was a sight to see.

   you held your composure the best you could, practically forcing yourself to not breakdown as well and hug him close to you. Instead you smile lightly and remove his hands from your arms “I don’t doubt you love me, but you should be with somebody your father approves of if his opinion matters that much to you. It’s okay Draco. It was never meant to be. Have a good life”

   you bend down to pick up the box, leaving the Slytherin boy to weep alone. You could hear his quiet sobs behind you and had to bite your lip so you wouldn’t cry out as well. You had done it. You had left Draco Malfoy and in all honesty. You felt as if a part of you had been ripped out.

    ☼-🐍-☼

   friday, graduation day. You and Luna were getting ready. You both had picked dresses to wear under your graduation robes. You chose a short black dress while Luna chose a long white sundress. After finishing up, you both made your way to the great hall.

   Professor Dumbledore and Mcgonagall said there announcements and gave out a few awards. Cedric Diggory got one for quidditch, which you cheered loudly for. After those some students gave speeches. Hermione’s was very sweet and short and you enjoyed it.

   after the clapping died down Mcgonagall stood up “Next student to say a few words is Draco Malfoy” the Slytherins cheered loudly for there headboy while you sunk into your seat. Draco stood up and shrugged off his robes, leaving him in a all black suit and tie. So handsome- wait. Stop Y/n.

   he walked up to the front and gave the crowd a slight smile. Oh yeah, i forgot to mention that parents were aloud to attend the ceremony. No wonder he wanted to speak. He needed to impress his father. Typical. You sigh and prepare yourself for what's to come.

   “Thank you Professor. When i first came to Hogwarts the only thing on my mind was my education, but i made friends along the way and found comfort in people around me like Blaise Zabini and Theodore Nott, my best mates.” he points towards the two in the crowd and they stand up momentarily to wave.

   you shake your head. Could this be over already? “Hogwarts has become my second home really. It’ll be hard to leave this place and not return next year to all the places i loved to visit, like the astronomy tower” your heart tugged, you couldn’t do it. Standing up from the table, you walk towards the exit.

   “you might be wondering why that place is my favorite out of all the wondrous parts about Hogwarts. Well, it was where i was most happy because i-” Draco looked at his father, then his mother before continuing. “it’s where i met my love” you stopped walking as collective gasps erupted throughout the hall. 

   you turn slowly and look at Draco “Yes, save your shock. I Draco Malfoy am in love with Y/n L/n and i’m tired of hiding it.” what the hell was he doing? Students whispered to each other and others gave sympathetic stares at Pansy. His father looked furious.

   everyone then looked towards you as Draco stepped away from the front and made his way to you. Oh no “I haven’t been a good boyfriend by hiding you away and Diggory was right. I chose my reputation over you and i shouldn’t have because in the end you were always the one that stuck around”

   a cane stops him from walking and he looks up to see his father glaring at him “Draco, you will stop this nonsense and we will leave at once. You will not tarnish the Malfoy legacy over some feeble Hufflepuff girl” he spat. Draco’s eyes narrowed at his father. He lifts his hand and slips off the Malfoy ring he wore.

   he dropped it on the ground, causing a metallic sound. “Fuck your legacy and your small minded bullshit. Cut me off, i don’t care. Never speak to me again, i. Don’t. Care, but you won’t talk about Y/n that way. Goodbye father” he pushed the cane away and rushed towards you.

   “Draco! Get back here now!” his father shouted. Draco grabs your hand and runs out the great hall with you. You unclip your robe and watch it fly off into it reached the ground. 

   your friends watched you run off. George turned to Fred who had a small smile on his face “You okay Freddie?” he asked, nudging his twins shoulder. “I never had a chance with her did i?” he says, sighing deeply. George purses his lips, shaking his head.

   Cedric sighed deeply, leaning back into his seat “Not bad, Malfoy”

    ☼-🐍-☼

   you both ran out the school. It was raining, not too hard though. Suddenly Draco stops, causing you to do the same “What?” you say, the rain wetting your H/c hair. He pulls you into his chest and uses the other hand to pull you in for a kiss. It’s sweet and passionate, you wished it would last a lifetime.

   as you pull away you see his platinum blond hair flatten, raindrops cascading down his face “I’ll never betray you again Y/n. If you’ll be mine again. We’ll move in together and make a legacy of our own. I promise” he says, leaning his forehead against yours. 

   “That’s all i ever wanted” and with that, you both kiss again. 

    ☼-🐍-☼

   Kody- served hot and fresh with extra extra cheese for all you fluff lovers. Anyways, peace.

[drarryruinedme7]

Hello 💕 I’d like to request Draco increasingly growing jealous as Harry opens bday presents (bc he’s afraid Har won’t like his gift as much as others). Any era you’d like to write! Thank you 💕

Hi, my love, I hope you’ll like the small ficlet I wrote for this. ❤️Thanks for the prompt!!

Drarry | 1k | G | birthday presents, established relationship, fluffy fluff | beta: my darling @malenkayacherepakha

Private Business 

What the bloody hell do you give the Saviour of the Wizarding World for his fortieth birthday?? 

Draco stared helplessly at the shop windows of Quidditch Supplies. Harry fucking Potter had everything he wanted.

Every year hoards of fans and Quidditch teams and his coworkers in the Auror department, his friends, the entire Weasley family (and there were definitely too many of them in Draco’s opinion) would send Harry tons of gifts resulting in Harry having everything a man could think of.

With a sigh, Draco walked down the streets of Diagon Alley, trying to think of something clever.

They only started dating six months ago, the press had started leaving them alone barely a couple of weeks ago and Draco was now fully feeling the pressure of dating the Boy Who Lived.

After a useless and tiring walk, Draco went back home, panic rising in his chest. 

One’s fortieth birthday was something special, he couldn’t just give Harry a superficial thing! 

He took a deep breath to calm down: he still had one week. He could do it.

***

Oh, dear. Fucked. Draco was so fucked. 

They were all gathered around Harry in the garden of The Burrow. Draco shuddered as the sunset lightly kissed all of them in rosy-light. He would have never, ever, imagined himself enjoying a party at The Burrow, of all places. 

Certainly not for Potter’s birthday. Certainly not while all he could think was how beautiful the git was when he smiled with gratitude and sincere affection. 

Draco also didn’t expect to be sweating with anxiety while looking at Potter opening all his gifts. They were all simple things but Draco could tell they held a greater meaning which made Harry’s eyes water. 

Molly and Arthur gave him a portrait they commissioned of Albus, James and Lily laughing together; Hermione and Ron gave him a new tent with a note that Draco didn’t understand but Harry’s face split in a huge grin and he snorted when he saw the tent— there were dozens of other small things, and all of them made Harry snort or laugh or say “awww”: a carillon enchanted to play the songs that helped him when he was having nightmares after the War (Ginny’s gift), a book of recipes for his rediscovered passion for cooking (Neville’s)... 

His kids even planned to show him they had learned in secret how to perform a Patronus Charm all together and the party took a challenging and funny turn from that point on, with silvery thin animals running and zig-zagging all around. 

Oh, but did Draco want to disappear right there. When the gifts finally ended everyone looked at him and Draco prayed for the soil to open and swallow him whole, but that didn’t happen. 

He cleared his throat and felt heat rushing to his cheeks, surely showing a massive blush that not even the sunset light could hide. “Er.” He glanced at Harry who was looking at him with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. “I… it’s, um, private,” Draco mumbled.

Oh, no.

Why.

The second he said it he knew how wrong, how filthy and dirty it sounded. There were kids around, for fuck’s sake, and what it looked like was that Draco had just told Harry’s entire family he bought him something sexual for his fortieth birthday.

Harry’s mouth dropped to form a comical ‘O’ while George snorted, breaking the tension in the air. In a matter of seconds, everyone was laughing and finally wandering around the garden, shooting him weird glances, smirks, someone even patting him on his arm (Charlie, with an accompanying ‘nice’). 

The worst thing of all is that after seeing all those presents, Draco really didn’t want to give Harry his own— he was sure it was inadequate and horrible and…

“So,” Harry murmured into his ear. When did he get so close to Draco, by the way?

“It’s private, mh?” He pressed his chest to Draco’s back and Draco distinctly felt Harry’s hard cock pushing against his thigh.

Great. So now Harry expected it to be something naughty and Draco would fail on every damn level with his birthday gift. 

“I just… I, er…” Draco gently disentangled himself from Harry’s embrace and turned to face him. “I think I fucked up, actually. I… if you want I can show you now, it’s in my pocket.”

Harry cocked his head with a smirk. “Oh yes, it is.” He hooked a finger in Draco’s belt loops and pulled him into a crushing kiss. 

Draco pulled out of it against his will, wanting to put an end to his agony. “No, seriously, you git!”

He took a steadying breath and fished a vial out of the pocket of his trousers. He handed it to Harry who took it with confusion written all over his face.

“It’s…” Draco straightened his shoulders, cleared his throat. “My memories… all the memories I’ve collected of you. But they’re not like standard Pensieve memories: they contain the feelings and the things I was thinking during those events too, so it will be like actually being in my head.”

Everything seemed to stop as he waited for a reaction from Harry. He was staring intently at the vial in his hands, so steady Draco wondered if he was breathing at all. 

When the silence was starting to be too dense, Draco felt compelled to talk, do anything to fill it. “I’m sorry, it sucks, I know. They all gave you these meaningful presents, but I… look, I don’t trust people easily, so I thought I—”

Whatever the rest of that sentence was, it got lost in the heat of Harry’s mouth, suddenly covering Draco’s. In a second, Harry’s body was flush against Draco’s and a smile made its way into their kiss. 

“You’re amazing,” Harry breathed on Draco’s lips. “Don’t you dare doubt it, this is the best gift you could have given me.” 

Draco finally took a breath of relief: maybe he hadn’t chosen so poorly, after all. 

[ourloveisforthelovely]

Revelation Part 2

Harry Potter Marauders Era- Post Hogwarts 

Link to Part 1 

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader 

Rating: M 

Credit: Song in chapter: I forget where we were Ben Howard and a clip taken from the TV show Rescue Me (it was so fitting)

_________

You stormed back into the house muttering about how much you wanted to kick Regulus in the shins.

“Did daddy already piss you off?”

Sirius said with a smirk as he looked up from his place at the kitchen table. He clearly could see that you were in a less than happy state but he needed answers. The scowl on your face told Sirius that he was lucky to not be killed.

“You know if I didn’t adore you so fucking much I would bitch slap the hell out of you and yes he made me mad.”

You said before sitting down across from Sirius. He smiled innocently before making a drink appear in front of you.

“Is there booze in this?”

You questioned. Sirius nodded.

“It appears that is what you need.”

You laughed bitterly. Hell yes, you needed booze and Sirius needed to make sure that the drinks kept coming. If you got drunk, that would be just fine. Harry wouldn't be waking up anytime soon and if he did, Sirius could tend to him.

“You have no idea.”

You muttered. Sirius was quiet for a moment before finally deciding to speak again.

“Y/n, I normally don’t pry into your life mostly because we know everything about each other but I am feeling a bit left out and confused at the moment.”

You took a drink, knowing that it was time to tell Sirius the truth. All of your dirty and most passionate secrets were about to come spilling out to your best friend.

“We dated for three years.”

You replied. Sirius was clearly surprised. How did he and James not pick up on this? Were they that distracted that they didn’t notice you with Regulus? The better question was what did you really have in common with his little brother (other than an impeccable gift of sarcasm)?

“Wow...so was it some weird sex thing or an actual relationship?”

“It was an actual relationship combined with mind-blowing sex that would make Satan himself blush. Do you remember my friend Samantha?”

Sirius internally gagged at the word “mind-blowing sex.” To him, you were the funny girl that tagged around with the Marauders. Sure, Sirius was aware that you had lost your virginity but he wasn’t for sure to whom it was...now he knew.

“Yeah the girl from Ravenclaw, you used to study with her a lot.”

You shook your head.

“Samantha was actually your brother and I can tell you that there was no studying going on. Most of the time when I came back to the common room I was wondering if I had remembered my underwear.”

You had to stifle a look at the expression on Sirius’ face. He was quiet for a few moments longer before speaking again.

“So both of you are into some freaky shit, huh?”

Taking a sip of your drink, you only batted your eyes at Sirius.

“It depends on how you define the word freaky.”

You said replied with a sly smile. Had this conversation been with James there probably would have been a lot of yelling and screaming. With Sirius, it was a pleasant yet uncomfortable experience that both of you should look back on and laugh.

“Well, you call my brother daddy. That is some information that I could have totally gone without knowing. Now I can’t look at my little brother the same way. I'm going to call him daddy now just to witness his reaction.”

Sirius was relieved when you smiled.

“And that doesn’t surprise me. Let me make sure to find a camera because that will be an uncomfortable experience for both Regulus and myself.”

Sirius grinned.

“It was a very uncomfortable experience for me to hear earlier. Well...more like the rug being pulled out from underneath me. So, all jokes aside, what happened between the two of you?”

Your face darkened. This wasn’t a memory that you ever wanted to think about...the break up a week after graduation. It was like having the rug pulled out from under you. You still felt that way when you thought about it. Something had you convinced that Regulus was the one for you and maybe you still felt that way.

While you were in America, you had tried dating others but it never worked out. You always compared them to Regulus. They were always annoying you, talking too much, and didn't know how to touch you. Unbeknownst to you, you were the lucky one. You hadn’t been bitten during a moment of what was supposed to be exciting.

“Regulus decided that he didn’t want to disappoint your parents. They would never accept me because I am a blood traitor so bye bye Y/n.”

Sirius frowned.

“Is that why you took off to the states?”

You nodded.

“That would be the reason.”

Sirius’ was quiet again. He was trying to think of some “big brother-like” bit of advice that he could give you that might be helpful but he couldn’t think of anything. Everything that he had to offer sounded a bit condescending or downright cold…

Positive one, Walburga Black won’t be your mother-in-law Positive two, we don’t have to worry about James rolling over in his grave. Positive three,...

Sirius was sure that there were positive number three and if you gave him time he could come up with more.

“Why are you sitting here in my brother’s coat if you are so mad at him?”

You realized that you were still, in fact, still wrapped in Regulus’ coat. In your subconscious, you were enjoying having Regulus’ comforting scent around you.

“We were outside talking and he put it around my shoulders before pissing me off. I told him that he wasn’t getting his coat back and he isn’t. I’m a petty bitch and am going to keep this coat like that gold-hoarding dragon from The Hobbit.”

Sirius chuckled. He again realized how much that he had missed you over the past year.

“Alright Smaug junior, go take your gold and hide upstairs because I hear the front door opening.”

You jumped up and ran up the stairs as Regulus stepped in. Sirius took a sip of his tea before meeting his brother’s face. Regulus’ cheeks were pink from the chill of the evening.

“Is that hot?”

Sirius nodded.

“Just pour it on me.”

Sirius smirked as Regulus grabbed the blanket that was on the back of the couch and curled up in it.

“You know, a lesser man would have come back in for his coat. How are you doing, daddy?”

Regulus glared at Sirius before going to pour himself a cup of tea. It took all that Sirius had not to burst out laughing at the sneer on his brother’s face. Regulus looked like Sirius had force-fed him a lemon.

Y/n just missed a fine moment.

“Never call me that again! Maybe I don’t want to get punched in the face. Y/n is mad and I’m an idiot.”

Sirius shrugged.

“You said it.”

Regulus groaned sitting down. He wanted to apologize to you but he knew at the moment he would be better attempting to baptize a feral cat.

“I was trying to do her a favor.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t do Y/n any favors and let her make her own choices or possibly use the balls between your legs to tell mum and dad to fuck off?”

Regulus’ lip twitched at this brother’s comment. It was so easy for Sirius to talk about telling Walburga and Orion to fuck off. He wasn't the one that had to be “the good son.” That was all on Regulus’ shoulders. Sure, now his efforts were shot to hell but Regulus was doing the right thing...the noble thing.

“Have you forgotten what is on my left arm? Y/n is an auror and she is going to be working for Moody soon. What a fucking joke we both would be. A death eater dating an auror...and the other way around. I did her a favor.”

Sirius raised an eyebrow.

“Well, you aren’t a death eater anymore. You are just acting like you missed your little nap.”

Regulus crossed his arms, reminding Sirius of the little boy that would turn Grimmauld Place into a literal nightmare on Elm Street when he didn’t have a nap during the day.

“She said...well screamed at my face...that she should have dated you because you would have been so much better to her.”

Sirius winced.

“Ouch. To be fair, she and I would kill each other. I would be better off dating you...with our family history no one would bat an eye.”

Regulus didn’t want to think about his family's pureblood history at the moment. He had enough on his plate.

“If you were dating me, I would kill you. Now I get to sit back and watch the two of you play house with James’ kid. Just a thought but you two may want to save some money for the therapy that child is going to need.”

Sirius stood up and shook his head.

“Nah, the little tyke is going to be just fine.”

Regulus wanted to make a snarky comment but decided not to.

“Where did Y/n go anyway?”

Sirius pointed to the stairs.

“Upstairs with your coat that is no longer yours. I would suggest leaving her alone unless you want to lose an eye. If you do bother her and lose an eye, I will forever compare you to a pirate.”

Regulus stood up and moved to leave the room.

“Yeah, well, fuck you.”

Walking upstairs, Regulus poked his head hesitantly into what was your room. When nothing was thrown at him, Regulus figured out that the room was empty. He had no idea what he was going to say to apologize to you. If you didn’t want to hear what he was going to say, you would let whatever words that he has to offer go in one ear and out the other. It wasn’t like things were before. He couldn’t just grab you and have his way with you anymore. Things were different and Regulus wasn’t sure if they would ever be the same.

Regulus stopped outside of Harry’s nursery at the sound of your soft voice singing. Looking into the room, but not making his presence known, Regulus watched as you cradled Harry. He stepped back outside the door with his back against the wall. Had Regulus forgotten how peaceful it sounded to hear your voice? When you weren’t being sassy (and things weren’t tense) you were the most calming person that Regulus had in his life.

Don't take it so seriously, no. Only time is ours . The rest we'll just wait and see. Maybe you're right, babe, maybe. Oh no, and that's how summer passed. Oh your, great divide and range of green green grass. Oh, maybe I hold on fast, to you . Hello love, my invincible friend. Hello love, the thistle and the burr. Hello love, for you I have so many words but I, I forget where we were

Stepping away from the room, Regulus knew it was best that he walked away for now.

Regulus didn’t see you the next morning either. You were gone before he woke up. It was Remus that told him “gently” that you had decided to go back to work as an auror. Regulus hated the thought of that altogether. You had no reason to go to work With the Potter family fortune, you could live comfortably and raise Harry. It wouldn’t be your style though. You were probably doing this just to spite him.

Your choice of being an auror was the topic of the first fight that the two of you had as a couple. It was funny, especially now, for Regulus to think that the first fight happened weeks before the breakup. Now he should have seen it was the beginning of the end.

“You’re what?!”

Regulus snapped. The two of you had met at the top of the astronomy tower. Graduation was a few weeks and you decided to drop the bomb of your career to be.

“You heard me. It's what I want to do, Reggie.”

“You do realize what I am right? I don’t think that it will be looked upon very highly for you to have a boyfriend that is a death eater.”

You smirked.

“No one technically knows anything right now as it is so…

Regulus pulled himself out of his memory when you stepped into the kitchen with Marlene McKinnon on your heels. Sirius quickly leaned over and playful elbowed Regulus in the side with a smile that said, there is your woman.

“I’m an idiot. I never should have broken up with him, Y/n. I’m just a mess.”

Regulus watched as your eyes fluttered in his direction before looking away...as if he were not even in existence.

“Marlene, there is hope. It comes with batteries. Trust me, no man is worth that much aggravation. I understand why Dorcas loves women. Let me tell youI am a big supporter of the lesbian community. I wish that I was a lesbian.”

Sirius, Regulus, and Remus both looked up at that. It took all that you had not to laugh at the expression on the face of every man in the room.

“What?”

Remus questioned. You put your bag down before turning to face Remus and a very amused Sirius.

“Like gay guys, they really have it made. So think about it, you’re a guy and your with a guy who has the same interest as you that's like a win-win situation. First of all, you both like to have a lot of sex and if you’re both interested in sports you can go to hockey games, football games, quidditch matches. It's all blowjobs and ball games.”

Sirius immediately started laughing so hard that he almost fell out of his chair. This was going to be one of those Y/n conversations that he had missed so much over the past year.

“Blow jobs and ball games?”

Remus questioned, stifling a laugh, before turning to Sirius wondering if his lover was going to make it through this conversation. You, meanwhile, smirked over the top of the drink that Marlene handed you.

“Sweetie, no matter the sexual orientation every relationship goes great until the both of you start having secret evil plans to piss each other off. This doesn’t apply to Sirius and Remus because you two are the perfect relationship having freaks.”

Sirius grinned.

“You think so??”

You groaned.

“Buzzkill, Marlene. So what you are saying is even if you and I were doing each other, we would be doomed?”

Marlene nodded before deciding to use your comment.

“There is hope. It comes with batteries.”

You were watching Regulus out of the corner of your eye. He was only blinking with a small amused smirk on his face. Clearly, he had no idea that this was the conversation that everyone in this room had on a regular basis.

“I’m going to take a nap.”

Sirius stood up to take his empty cup to the sink.

“Remus and I are taking Harry clothes shopping. Do you have any requests on what not to buy?”

You shook your head.

“I think that you two will be just fine. Marlene, what are you doing tonight?”

Marlene was gathering up her sweater and handbag.

“Going to find a new boyfriend that runs on batteries.”

You gave her a thumbs up before turning and walking out of the room.

(1 hour later…)

You lay awake staring at the ceiling. From the time that you had laid down, your mind was on Regulus. Being back in the same house was quickly wearing on you. Every moment that you looked at him, you wanted nothing more than to get your hands back on your former lover.

Face it, princess, you still love him and want nothing more than to fuck his brains out.

You could take your own advice and invest in a good vibrator. It wouldn't be good enough though. Nothing would be as good as the real thing.

There is nothing wrong with teasing Regulus and let him see what he’s missing.

That could be the most promising advice that you could give yourself at the moment. Sitting up, you let your eyes fall to the trunk that was in the corner. It was the one trunk that you hadn’t unpacked yet. You knew inside was one of Regulus’ school white dress shirts. After one very steamy sex meet up, you may have just taken it back to the Gryffindor tower with you.

You didn’t want to think about how over the past year that you would wear that shirt when you wanted to feel close to Regulus again.

Don’t be a buzzkill.

You thought as you shook the thoughts from your mind. Grinning evilly, you slid your dress, bra, and knickers off before opening the trunk and looking for the article of clothing that you needed.

Stepping outside of your bedroom door, you stood dressed in only Regulus’ shirt unbuttoned halfway with nothing else underneath. You had sent Sirius a message and told him to take Harry out for ice cream. This would be enough to keep Remus and Sirius out for a bit longer. You would have enough time to work your “magic.”

You peaked your head around the corner before walking into the living room. Regulus sat rather unsuspectingly minding his own business with a book on his lap. You weren't sure what would happen after this incident took place. Were you ready to take Regulus back and risk having your heart broken again? You weren't sure 100%. Time would have to tell on that one but getting laid for the first time in years sounded nice.

Time to put this plan into action

The moment that you walked casually through the living room you were never more thankful to be such a good actress. You were able to keep your face straight without blushing when Regulus looked up and dropped the drink that he was holding in his free hand. The only regret that you had was that you couldn’t see the expression on his face. You have paid money to be able to see what his face looked like.

Casually, you walked into the kitchen acting as though you didn’t see him. You had no idea what you were going to do in the kitchen. After standing still for a moment, you opened the refrigerator to look for some mystery item that would catch your eye. You had been pawing through the refrigerator for all of three seconds when you heard Regulus’ voice.

“One question, is that my shirt?”

_________

@amelie-black @regulusheadcanons @truly-insatiable @fandomsxxregulus @realgaytrash @quuenofblacks @lucasfilms77 @exhsle @hazncalsgal @jessyballet @knreidy1 @teletubiswszpilkach @mimisparkle12 @acciosiriusblack @fific7 @rubyroscoe1 @bennyberry @criminalyetminimal @whymyparentscheckmyphone @brokencasbutt67-writer @authoressskr @fandom-trash-worth-it @hankypranky @summer-novak @emiwrites3reads @shaylybaby2032 @marichromatic @stuckinsaudi1 @untoldshortsofthefandoms @sprnaturallover @wontlookaway @shitfaceddaniel @deanwherescas @mycuddlycorner @shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @knight-of-gleefulness @sparkleofpizza

[treenissanderssidesstuff]

One

A03 Link

Thank you to @edupunkn00b for helping me beta this story!

Words: 4222

Pairing: Roceit (Platonic Demus)

TW: None that I know of, feel free to inform me.

Summary: Janus decides to play "prince."

Inspired by @aidensm8's work in the request they filled for me. Also loosely inspired by some of the drawings @reddstardust made in response to aiden's work as well.

Link to post.

Ah HAH! I found it! Link to original ask.

The darkside’s corridor had been quiet recently, annoyingly so in Remus’ opinion. It’d been quiet in general since Virgil left and the terrible trio became a dinky duo, but now that Janus split his time between the sides, Remus had found himself increasingly uno. It was usually fine, he had the entire imagination to keep him busy and entertained, after all. He could make sides if he wanted to. But… it wasn’t quite the same. That was probably the only reason he had bothered to hang around at all when Janus went on another tirade about how insufferable and brainwashed the lightsides were, how Roman was being pushed, blah blah blah. After the last video release, the dialogged had temporarily shifted. That had gotten Remus’ attention. It seemed that Roman had rejected Janus, not just chosen someone else’ way over the deceitful side’s own, but outright stood against Janus even when the others folded around him. It would be funny, if it weren’t so sad.

All of Janus’ plans had been for Roman’s sake.

And in three miscalculated moves, Janus had managed to push away the one side he sought the approval of.

“Do you think this will work?” Janus asked, tugging at the yellow sash hanging off his shoulder again.

“Oh, definitely not,” Remus said flatly, flipping through an upside down fairytale book on the couch with a bored expression on his face. The duke had been forced to hear about Janus’ plans to woo—“reconcile” with Roman for days and at this point it was honestly slightly obnoxious how invested Janus was. “But it’s just the right side of disgustingly cheesy that Roman’s sure to love it even when you inevitably fall on your face.”

“I will!” Janus “I- I mean I won’t!  I mean-!“ Janus shoved his face in his hands with a groan.

Remus quirked an eyebrow in the snake’s direction, watching the self-proclaimed “Lord of Lies” try and compose himself. Thankfully, Remus did know what he meant, even when Janus wasn’t sure of it himself. It was one of his special skills as the bestfriend™.

“Look, J, I’m going to tell you this very clearly and carefully, as your friend,” Remus said, pushing up into a sitting position from his previous sprawl across the couch. “Your plans suck.”

"Excuse you?!" Janus nearly shrieked in retaliation to Remus' brand of hard truths. “They do!… not!”

Remus couldn't have stopped the subsequent string of chuckles if he wanted to. That was the biggest lie he'd ever heard Jan tell and Remus had heard plenty over the years given how rarely the two were ever apart. The darkside pair just meshed well. Janus was the liar, sure, but Remus was the secret keeper. Even if Roman struggled to understand Janus, Remus never had. The snake couldn't hide from him, even when he wanted to. It came with Remus' position as the holder of intrusive thoughts; he got a front row seat to every dirty little secret the others tried to lock away and bury in their little shame closets. What they didn't realize however, was that Remus had the master key. Remus quite literally was the little hint of truth behind every one of Janus' lies. The truths that Janus tried to tug and weave and bend around the others to get his way.

Remus was the keeper of the blatant, harsh, and often downright uncomfortable truths, not just what the sides tried to hide from Thomas, but also what they tried to hide from each other. It was a lot like the story The Giver. Someone had to hold all of the knowledge the little utopia unit tried to hide from and Remus had been designated. Though, he usually thought of himself more of a receiver than anything. Roman was the giver of the pair. The giver of dreams, wishes, and fantasies. Remus was more like a radio with the dial gummed up and stuck on where the power switch had broken off ages ago. Not that all of the secrets were so bad to tune into, some were sweet, some were shy, and a few were even downright adorable, but more often than not, secrets were kept that way for a reason and the Deceitful side had the most secrets of all.

They worked because Janus could never ever keep a secret from Remus and likewise, Remus would never ever tell.

The Deceitful side trusted him, was the only one to trust him and Remus was adamant to keep that trust. Remus locked it in a little box and kept it close, in the few little hideaways he had. In his pockets, within little small nooks of the imagination, and under the bed on the nights when Thomas’ thoughts turned up to an 11 and even Remus started to wonder what he still had left to give.

He had that.

A tiny little secret of his own.

Most of the time, it was enough.

"Your. Plans. Suck." Remus emphasized, slowly, pushing up from the ratty sofa Janus had sewn back up after Remus’ countless escapades over the years. Janus complained about it every time. He cited everything from the loose springs, and flattened stuffing, to the threadbare upholstery and warped base. He always told Remus just to replace the broken thing, but that never stopped careful fingers in yellow-clad gloves from systematically putting the thing back together again each time, always working away at it before Remus could even consider replacing the old lump.

That was his friend’s best and worst trait after all. Janus could not let things go. He wrapped and coiled and held on to any little scrap that he could get a hold of. His problem was that when he panicked, that coil became a death grip.

That's how they lost Virgil.

And that's how Janus was currently losing Roman.

"My plans are ama--mph--" Janus glared at Remus with fury striking like lightning in his eyes after Remus willed a zipper to appear across Janus' lips to force them shut, fully closing even the snake side.

Even best friends needed a taste of their own medicine every now and again, lest they forget how bitter it can be.

"Ah, ah, ah my sweet snoot," Remus nearly sang as he skipped over to his favorite danger noodle and reached out to boop Janus' nose. "It's my turn to talk now.

“You went in and pretend to be Patton, just to have him show up on you and made Thomas want to tell the truth more. Even then, you had almost had Roman on your side, but got so focused on semantics, you missed the actual benefits. You reviewed, revised, and waited to try again after deciding Logan and his facts were the problem, right?

“Then—“ Remus started, holding his mace up threateningly as Janus made some displeased, but muffled noises from behind the zipper, likely some kind of litany of curses. Had Remus not been prepared with his mace, the other side likely would have already tried to strong arm him into getting rid of the bound. “You tried to play Logan and just… ugh, Janny you are not allowed to act anymore. That was a terrible performance. Anyway! The trial starts and you get into it and try to defend what Roman wants, right?”

Janus’ incomprehensible complaints cease, only for him to squint at Remus suspiciously and give a slow nod.

“Wrong!” Remus proclaimed, swinging his mace toward the snake and stopping so close to his face, the metal spikes brushed some of the bangs hanging over the bridge of Janus’ nose. “Instead, you got carried away again. You got caught up in semantics and made it about who Thomas is as a person rather than what would be the better choice to make.

“In short, you made it all about you. Again,”  Remus said, letting his morning star drop as the energy was sucked out of him with his rant. “Sure, you won the argument, but you lost what you actually wanted.”

Remus wasn’t usually one to insert his opinions on things, that was more Janus’ thing and, gosh it was exhausting. How did the snake even keep up with just… caring so much about everything?

It seemed Remus wasn’t the only one suddenly exhausted though, because after rubbing some of the strain out of his own eyes, the duke watched Janus slowly slump backwards until he was all but sitting on the arm of their scrap couch. He wasn’t fighting the zipper any longer, his extra arms were tucked away and his normal pair were laid listlessly on his lap now as he stared down at his own yellow gloves.

“How was my brother meant to make any other decision when you put what Thomas wanted, against who he wanted to be? I wouldn’t care, indulgence is my territory. But Roman’s job is to be the dream, the ideal. You should know that.”

When Janus finally looked up at Remus, he just looked sad.

He looked pale, his eyes were shiny, and all the regality he tried to hold himself with in that dupe prince costume just fell away from him as he pressed his palms to his temples.

Remus finally let the zipper fall away into nonexistence.

He wasn’t done yet.

“Look J, I know you had good intentions.”

“But?” a slightly rough voice asked from a newly freed mouth as a yellow glove brushed the remaining ghosting sensations of the enclosure away.

Remus sighed, already imagining the hoard of grotesque creatures he’d be battling through in the imagination after this “talk.” He needed something to balance out all of the gross feelings and shit.

“But I don’t think Roman or Thomas would have chosen the wedding if you hadn’t gotten side tracked. You tried to prove you’re ugh ‘goodness’ by arguing you’re a part of Thomas. Your whole argument backfired and made him question if he’s any good. What else did you expect but for him to try and prove he is? Not to mention the after incident.”

“That was meant to be an apology,” Janus murmured miserably. “I had taken Logan’s place with the intention of leading Roman to work out his own mistreatment.”

“But you showboated.”

“I-“ Janus started, clearly ready to argue again, but stopped himself with a single look from Remus. “…I did what I thought was necessary.”

“Did you now?” Remus snorted. “Sure, going and pretending to be the nerd I get, but why change went Patton went full kaiju? You could have kept up the act and stood alongside Roman. It would have been an all around win for the lightsides as everyone would think Roman and Logan worked together to reign in one of their own.”

“I… I just wanted….”

“You wanted to be accepted. You saw an opportunity to be the hero and you took it, not caring who you hurt along the way. First you took Patton’s role as morality, then you took Logan’s role as logic, and to round it all out, you took Roman’s role as Thomas hero. That’s your problem.”

“Is wanting a place at the discussion table so bad?” Janus asked with a sigh, folding his arms in his lap.

“No, but taking it is,” Remus said, tugging the tiny chain that typically held Janus’ cape to his shoulders. It was currently re-purposed to secure the cape into a makeshift sash.

“Because that’s not a hypocritical statement at all, coming from you,” Janus replied swatting at Remus’ hands that still fiddled with his sash. “It’s not as if you, oh I dunno, knocked out Roman and took his spot during your entrance or anything.”

“True, but when I did it, I made Robro their hero.” Remus said, letting himself fall back onto the couch lazily as Remus saw the first sign of real recognition budding within his friend’s heterocromatic eyes.

“He is their hero.”

“Does he know that?”

“He wouldn’t believe me if I told him so.”

“So, what are you going to do?”

###

Roman groaned and carefully maneuvered his skirt from the grasp of yet another birch tree. It was fair to say that the photo shoot wasn’t exactly going how he had pictured it when he had chosen a full gown paired with an outdoor setting. He knew there must have been a reason why the others had all chosen knee length skirts and stayed indoors. Instead of just taking a picture, Roman had to build a scene. He had to wow his audience and every part of the image had to be carefully designed. He just… hadn’t exactly thought everything through. Roman had imagined something more along the lines of sweeping gracefully through the forest as the gown swished around him as his every movement was made even more graceful by the gentle sway of the fabric.

He hadn’t accounted for how often his outfit would catch on the branches and foliage around him.

It wasn’t fair.

Disney princesses usually seemed to magically get along with the flora and fauna around them, long skirts or not, unless they were being trailed by some evildoer of course, but that didn’t count. Roman was by himself at the moment. On break from getting frustrated one too many times as his own outfit betrayed him during the photo shoot. The photographer and set designer needed some time to reevaluate the next set and Roman needed some time to clear away his current frustration.

So, into the woods he went. He carefully lifted his skirt to protect it against nearly ripping for the fourth or fifth time today as he gingerly stepped around branches, dearly missing his boots as stray twigs tried to impale themselves into his sandled feet. At least his hair wasn’t so long that it would get unexpectedly tangled in the branches above, but he did have to pick some burrs off of his bolero already after he had tried to catch himself on a bush during an unfortunate stumble. The maneuver saved his outfit from getting muddy, but he didn’t make it unscathed.

Roman had dreamed of being on the cover of magazines his whole life. Though, in those dreams it was usually due to a movie deal but he had never been opposed to the idea of modeling like some of the other sides were. Logan found the idea of it mindless, Virgil was anxious about the attention, and Patton wasn’t fond of the rumored cutthroat environment. Still, Roman had thought it seemed so glamorous. However, he hadn’t taken into account how much work it was.

Sure, it seemed simple. Pose and shoot, right? In reality though, it was tedious work as the photographer rapidly took hundreds of pictures at just slightly different angles so they could all be evaluated later for the “best” ones. That meant not just holding a pose, but also holding an expression. Roman felt like his acting skills were being put to fill use as he tried to strike the idea of power into each click of the camera.

Absolutely nothing about this had been simple though.

Roman found himself sighing and leaned against one of the scattered trees for moral and physical support after carefully maneuvering his gown around it. He would be fine. He was royalty after all and the first rule was to never let them see you cry. It would all be okay once he took a chance to catch his metaphorical breath. Though, the literal sense wasn’t a bad idea either. He imagined the breathing exercises that Virgil had gone through with him when the prince accidentally shown up at Virgil’s door in a less than royal state after the whole wedding debauchery and name reveal sham. The near panic attacking pulling him there unwittingly.

It was… it was nice. Roman and Virgil had been getting along better than ever after his own acceptance video, but it was like a new wall had broken down around the pair. Virgil had stationed himself as Roman’s personal bodyguard since the events that need not be named and… it was nice. A little lonely, but he appreciated everything that the anxious side was doing for him and especially appreciated how he kept between him and the-side-who-probably-lied-about-his-name-anyway.

Roman didn’t think he was ready to open up that can of snakes quite yet.

Hey Princey, it’s going to be okay, yeah? You’re better than this… and him.

The words rang around Roman’s skull once, twice, and then he straightened his shoulders. Even when Virgil wasn’t around, he was right. The prince could practically feel the anxious side aiming a smirk his way from somewhere in the incomprehensible distance. Still, it was good to remember.

He was better than this.

He was going to march right back to that photo-shoot, take some fabulous as fuck photos, and then march home with his head hell high because he was going to look damn good in the final set!

Hiking up his skirt again, Roman prepared himself for the trudge back, feeling ready to take on the world once again, except—

—except something caught his eye.

Well… there was a well… a literal one out in the distance. It was old looking, some of the bricks were broken or even just missing, and there seemed to be this misty haze that hung around it, a little thinner than full fog, but something about it felt slightly… otherworldly? With only a moment of hesitation, Roman found himself taking a step towards it and then another, and then another…

…the others would be fine without him for just a few minutes longer, right?

It was such an oddly beautiful scene, broken down and uncared for, but there was still something just so striking about it. Plus, how many chances would be get to interact with a real life well? This could be a great location to take some shots and he’d be remiss if he didn’t take advantage of it!

There was also one other advantage to it as well. It wasn’t often after all that real settings lended themselves so pefectly to the Disney aesthetic. Mind you, Snow White was by no means his favorite movie. The plot-line was a bit... outdated. Still, he admired the film for everything it represented as the first Disney classic of the golden age, the film that really started it all! Snow White was a marvel of animation for its time and the well song was the sound engineers of the time showing off.

He could respect that.

Roman crept closer, one careful step at a time until his toes of his sandles nearly touched the stone. He, ever so gently, let himself kneel down slowly, until his knees began to rest upon the well’s edge. He carefully let his shoulders relax as he watched the light reflecting in the water’s slightly cloudy surface. It was just for a tiny bit longer, after all. He let his hands slowly unclench from around the skirt as the velvety material draped and flowed around him. It was nice to have something else bear the weight of the heavy material for a little while.

“Make a wish into the well,” Roman whispered, letting his fingers trace over the loose stones circling the murky opening. To be fair, it was the tiniest bit more decrepit then the one pictured in the film. He sighed and slowly let his form drape across the layered bricks as he let one hand hang over the side as his fingertips danced across the water’s surface. “That’s all I have to do, huh?”

“And if you hear it echoing, your wish will soon come true~”

The sweet bell chime of Snow’s voice only sang the next line within Roman’s own mind, but it was enough to spur his continuance.

“I’m wishing~” Roman quietly sang, trying not to feel too silly as his voice carried to no one at all. At least Snow had some animals to sing to. He had nothing but the ripples of a moss covered and slightly over-flooded well that had certainly acted as a catch all drainage for the recent string of storms.

Roman tried not to empathize with the stacked pile of rocks.

He wasn’t sure if it was the well or his own internal imagination still remembering the movie, but he could almost hear an echo reply back with, “I’m wishing”

“For the one I love, to find me,”

“To find me”

“Todaaay.”

“Todaaaaay~” came a smooth voice behind Roman’s back, causing the royal side to literally jump up and onto their feet from their previous position lounged across the well edge.

“Deceit,” Roman glowered, hiking up the lengthy gown to take a couple cautionary steps backwards. He wasn’t sure what to make of what he was seeing. There Janus was, decked out in an outfit modeled after his own typical princely gear, right down to the sash that was—wait—was that his cape?

“Not today,” Janus said simply, taking slow steps forward until the fake prince came nearly nose to nose with the real one. “Today, my darling, I thought I’d try something new, just for you.”

And then the humming started.

“Now that I’ve found you, hear what I have to saaay~”  Janus started, singing along to the familiar tune. “One song,~”

“~Ever entreating, constant but true~”

A gloved hand tried to weave its way between Roman’s fingers as the other hovered just to Roman’s side and would have been only a moment away from resting against his hip, had he not jerked away the moment those gloves touched him.

“There’s nothing ‘true’ about you!” Roman yelled, not caring anymore that the edges of his skirt swept the soil beneath him as he pulled away.

Roman had planned a second round of photos after his break, but couldn’t stand the thought anymore. No, Janus had ruined this for him, just like everything else he had systematically ruined in Roman’s life recently.

Roman was about to start again, blaming the Deceitful side for this, for mercilessly pushing and shoving his way into Roman’s space, his things, his life, except—

—expect he had this look on his face. Big, mismatched eyes stared back at Roman, wide, and shimmery and open. Roman had to remind himself that the hurt shining his way was probably just another trick, just another ploy to manipulate the prince again.

...Okay, not even Roman totally believed it.

“What do you want from me?” Roman whispered, he didn’t know if he was asking the other side or himself from how quietly his voice whispered the words.

“I just want one.”

One what?

“One chance,” Janus said, taking a slow step forward toward the prince. “One opportunity to apologize properly.”

As Janus moved forward, one of Roman’s feet took a preparatory step backwards for balance, ready to move, ready to defend or flee. But Roman stayed rooted in place as the snake in princely garb moved closer.

“One day, that I can pretend that my actions and intentions had aligned, my dear,” Janus said, only stopping once his chest nearly brushed against Roman’s own. “One day, to pretend that I was your savior.”

“I don’t under—“ Roman muttered, before he could curse himself for engaging with this at all. His brain was just the smallest bit frazzled from the proximity and Janus had no shortage of charm in the way he could deliver a line.

“Shhhhh,” Janus hushed gently, tugging the yellow gloves from his hand before he reached up to trace his thumb against Roman’s cheekbone. “Can’t we just  have a fantasy for a little while my prince? Just this once?”

Roman swallowed as Janus leaned further into his space.

“Fantasy is my specialty, I suppose,” Roman muttered, clinging to the fact that the sweet talk was simply to get him to conjure some kind of indulgent daydream rather than trying to lead Roman to some other kind of nefarious goal. “What kind of fantasy were you looking to dive into?”

“I want one where I gave you your happy ending in the way I intended Roman.”

Roman just stared, his jaw dropping slightly at those words.

Janus didn’t flinch, didn’t throw his voice, or quirk his eyebrows, or any of number of little tells that the Deceitful side expected the others to pick up on in conversation. No he just met Roman’s stare with something heavy behind those heterochromatic eyes.

“Please Roman? I know it’s selfish to ask, but we both know selfish is what I am. Just let me be one today. Can’t we pretend for just one day?”

“What ‘one’ do you even mean?” Roman huffed half-heartedly. Even he could feel the fire slowly extinguishing in his chest as the conversation continued. “Who are you today then? The liar or the saint?”

Janus paused a moment, his gaze unwavering from Roman’s own face. Roman watched the scales on his neck glimmer in the sunlight as he swallowed, before taking the last final step into the prince’s space as a gloveless hand sat itself on Roman’s hip.

“Neither today my dearest,” Janus said with a cocky smile as he used his free hand to brush Roman’s fluffy bangs from his eyes.

“Today, I simply want to be the one in your fantasy.”

[lady-literature]

no point wishing on stars

aka the jasonette aladdin au literally no one asked for

This is a great big amalgamation of semi-canon miraculous, batman and a heavy dose of bastardized Aladdin but here we go-

The story goes like this:

Jason is our beloved street rat turned prince Boy Wonder and billionaire’s son (not that he’s gotten that far yet).

Marinette is Ladybug, is the Guardian, is our modern-day Jasmine. She’s next in line after Fu to lead the Order, which, I suppose, is like High Royalty for superheroes/magic users.

But before she can take her rightful place, she needs a partner by her side. It’s so stupid rule that says she, as a Ladybug, needs a Black Cat by her side in order to be properly balanced.

The only problem is, she doesn’t want one. Or, well. More accurately, it’s that she doesn’t like the ones offered to her, and she doesn’t quite like the idea of being tied to someone she barely knows, especially not at fourteen.

There have been many Black Cat candidates to cross her path but there has been only one she did not immediately veto. Adrien Agreste may be a Black Cat, but he cannot be hers. He will never be anything more than her dearest brother, and that is not what Creation needs.

Creation and Destruction—life and death—have a certain type of relationship. They are lovers, mated and married in every meaning of the word.

And, for as much as she loves and adores Adrien as her brother in her soul, they will never be like that. She will never want him the way she must should he take up Destruction.

So yeah. Marinette has a problem. And yeah, she has some time to figure it out, but the Order is looking to have her figure it out sooner rather than later. Adrien is a good place holder for now, but if Marinette doesn’t choose a Black Cat by the time she’s twenty-one, Adrien will either have to do, or she forfeits her crown and the Ladybug miraculous (which she would never do, she loves her people and Tikki too much to ever do that).

(wait? Does this mean I made Adrien the human equivalent of Raja?… yes. Yes it does.)

And, to spice this up just a bit more, let’s say Hawkmoth is Jafar, yeah? This little shit is really trying to push his son to be the next Black Cat because he wants power what’s best for his son. So he be out here sabotaging potential Black Cats because he’s an asshole his son is the best candidate at the moment. He could give less than two shits about if Mari and Adrien actually like each other that way, he will shove his son at her until she has no choice but to choose him.

Anyway, so Mari leaves the temple one day. Which is fine, she’s not trapped there or anything, she can come and go as she pleases! (she may have to normally take someone with her and is currently ignoring that rule perhaps, but that’s besides the point!)

So she’s at a market in Gotham, strolling down the street, having a good time enjoying being around normal people, when she notices a boy getting into some trouble.

(I’ll give you three guesses as to who it is and the first two don’t count.)

Jason was stealing from market vendors because the hubbub of the street is distracting and nicking a few scraps here and there is practically child’s play. Only, he miscalculates.

One vendor was paying more attention than he thought.

Mari’s across the street and sees the whole thing. Sees the vendor grab Jason’s hand in a bruising grip and snarl in his face.

She’s in between the pair before she even realizes it, mouth already opening around some made-up story about ill-advised dares and how ‘it won’t happen again, sir’ and ‘here, I’ll pay for that right now, no harm done!’

Jason stares at her utterly baffled and, thankfully, silent until after she’d already grabbed his hand and pulled him away.

Only, she pulls him away down the wrong alley. (Look. Mari’s a real sweet-talker and knows how to smooth ruffled feathers, but she is hardly street smart.)

Jason swears, and it’s the first words she’s heard him speak, and then it’s him tugging her along. Up a fire escape and over the rooftops because Jason likes to think he’s tough, but there’s no way he’s picking a fight with five guys bigger than him and wearing masks.

He likes to keep his heart beating more than he wants to keep his pride unharmed thank you very much.

They end up on a rooftop, panting and like, seven blocks away. Marinette is now very lost and with a strange boy who she doesn’t know. He seems… nice, and she’s a good judge of character, but that doesn’t mean much when they’re still very much strangers.

But then the two just look at each other and suddenly they’re both laughing.

And that, my friends, is the start of a beautiful friendship.

***

During those first few months, she and Jason just seem to click.

Mari starts leaving the temple more and more to meet up with Jason, and on more than one occasion dragging behind her a picnic basket bigger than her. (it’s stupid to let one of her friends starve just because he’s too prideful to take her food. So she plans lots of picnics for them both, and pointedly ignores the way he eats and hoards most of the food she brings.)

He is her friend—though she would be lying if she said she didn’t like him a bit more than what one would consider friendly.

And Jason, who is funny and kind and made sharp by the life he’s been forced into, likes her right back. She is one of the few great parts of his life, a bright spot in the darkness he has called his world for so long, and there are few things he wouldn’t do for her.

It’s… scary—just a bit—how important she is to him.

He tries not to think about it too much.

And it doesn't really matter anyway, because she is good and bright and amazing and he is… there’s nothing he can give her in return. Nothing good, anyway.

She deserves someone better. Someone who could buy her things as pretty as her and take her nice places.

Someone who isn’t a street rat.

And then he learns she’s Ladybug, right up there with Wonder Woman and Robin and all the other amazing people set on saving the world, and he feels he got that much farther from her. How can he ever compare?

Jason doesn’t wish, because wishing is childish and he learned too young that shooting stars don’t exist and he’s come to terms with the fact that this is his life years ago, all right? He doesn't need the burden of hope to weigh him down now.

(but perhaps, deep down, tucked away in the corner of his heart, there might be a thought. Small and scared and aching, he might think, ‘if only I could be there with her, if only i could fly with her, maybe then I’d be enough’)

Six months after he meets Marinette, Jason comes across the Batmobile.

His first thought is, this can’t be real.

His second is, I could buy Mari a real birthday gift with this.

His third thought is less of a thought because he’s already got two tires off by that point and then suddenly Batman is there and Jason is swinging his tire iron.

This then leads—somehow—to him winding up at Wayne Manor with Bruce Wayne and then he learns about Batman and Robin and he gets to be Robin and-

(and what else is a Robin meant to do but fly?)

It’s too good to be true. Wishes don’t come true and good things don’t happen to him unless their name be Marinette but… but Jason’s here and it’s not a dream. He’s no prince but, well… he thinks this might just be as close as you can get.

And, okay. He really does try with the whole secrecy thing, because he can understand why that’s important but, I mean… it’s Marinette, who is Ladybug. There really was never any chance of Jason keeping that particular secret, Batman or no Batman.

And about,,, two years pass like this ig. Mari is almost seventeen now, and Jason turned seventeen recently and the pair are getting closer and closer every day. They’re toeing the line of ‘more than friends’ but neither have really taken that next step. 

The pressure is on Mari from the Order because she’s getting older and as much as she likes Jason, knows him but he isn’t a good candidate for Destruction and Mari must think of her people first.

Jason doesn’t get to be hers to keep and that aches but what else is she meant to do? She cannot—does not—want to change him in any way. So they stay, in their strange little limbo, with neither making a move.

And then, the unthinkable happens.

Hawkmoth hears of the boy finally, and is, obviously, furious.

He doesn't care if this boy can be a Cat or not, he’s going to ruin all his plans. So, there’s only one solution. He needs to get rid of him.

(i’ll give you three guesses as to how and the first two don’t count!)

Robin—Jason—dies, and Marinette feels when he does. She doesn’t know why or what happened, but the moment he leaves the world her blood turns cold and she feels sick.

Jason hasn’t even looked at the ring and already Marinette could feel the thread that had begun to tie them together. When she hears of his death—when she learns that he’s gone—Marinette shatters.

She shatters and cries and the world tips just a little, with the force of her sorrow, with the agony of her screams.

(justice is blind, yes, but is she deaf? Can she deny the sobbing of such a being as Creation herself? Can she stand, unfeeling, before the agony she has wrought?)

Marinette does not bring Jason back to life… but she has done something close. Has opened the possibility. Is, perhaps, the reason that six months later he screams and claws and drags himself from his own grave.

He is wrong wrong wrong, but he is also alive.

The league finds him, as they must. And Talia throws him into the pits, as she must. And Jason is reborn, screaming and angry and violent, as he must.

Marinette had known, Before, that Jason would not be a good match for the ring. He was tough and wild and willing to get his hands dirty if that’s what it took, but that was not what his core was. He was familiar with the rust and decay of back alley streets, but that wasn’t where he belonged. He would throw a punch but he didn’t relish the blood on his knuckles after a fight.

Jason was surrounded by destruction, but that’s not what he was.

Now… now the destruction he spent so long dancing with has slipped through the cracks in his mind left behind by the explosion. It ripped through his skin and slithered through into his veins until it settled in his heart like an overly smug cat.

Death and Destruction are inside him, woven in his ribcage and fusing with his blood, pumping pumping pumping its deadly rhythm and Jason is helpless to deny it’s tune.

Jason is a being of Destruction through circumstance rather than design, but make no mistake, that does not make him less.

(in fact, it may even make him more. To be remade from one’s own destruction is a powerful thing, and to be remade into Destruction? Well. There are few things more… miraculous.)

And we all know the next part of the story right?

Marinette mourns and grows and lives.

Jason rages and learns and plans. He’s come far from that street rat of a boy, and farther still from Marinette's petite oiseau.

But, two years after he comes back, when he ventures back to Gotham for revenge, Marinette takes one look at this angry, violent man calling himself Red Hood and she knows. He’s too familiar, even as he stands before her, more changed than she ever thought possible.

She meets the Red Hood when he comes for the new Robin, sweet little Tim who Marinette had grown to like despite herself. (He is not Jason, and never will be, but the boy was too shy and clever and earnest for her to have remained cold to him just because he wore the same colors once worn by the man she loved.)

She loves Tim in the same way she loves Adrien, simply and wholly and uncomplicated.

And then she is there when Jason comes for him.

Their reunion is not the stuff of fairy tales. It is not the beginning of happily ever after or true love.

Their reunion is a punch in the gut because it doesn't matter that he’s alive—except it does, because Mari has never known she could be so happy and so shattered at the same time—she is farther from him than she’d ever imagined she could be.

She reaches out for him, voice cracking around his name—because who else could this familiar stranger be?—and something in her shatters all over again when he flinches back from her touch.

“No,” he says, and it is a million things at once. He sends one last glare to Tim, who is still behind her, and then he’s gone.

***

Jason tries to avoid her.

Marinette allows this for a whole month before the whispers in the streets and the stories Tim comes back to her with, become too much.

She knows he is angry and out for revenge and building an empire out of the criminals that infest their city, but she doesn’t care. He was gone for two whole years and Marinette is tired of not seeing him-hearing him-touching him.

She has missed him like an ache in her chest and she doesn't care if he hates her or is furious with her, she just wants to see him. She needs to reassure herself that he’s alive, that he’s real.

And, it seems, the universe is on her side in this. In her chest, nestled there in the space next to her heart, there is what she can only describe as a compass, pointing to wherever Jason is like he’s her own personal north star.

The first few times, she’s yelled at or ran off. Or he runs off. Either way, for a while, the only moments she’s close to him are short and aching.

But she doesn’t let him run for long, and she doesn’t let him scare her off as she knows he’s trying to do.

Marinette had always been the more stubborn of the two.

Eventually, like a feral cat learning safety (like a hurt, scared animal relearning love), Jason lets her get close. He lets her in, lets her get close again.

The first time she sees him, without helmet or mask, she flings herself at him. Arms around his neck and legs wrapped around his waist, clutching him like her life depends on it. He takes her weight automatically, hand beneath her thighs while the other wraps around her back just as tightly. (he longs for touch, she has relearned, but he is also so frightened of it. She will have to be brave for them both)

The second time she sees his face bare once more, he is still thrumming with energy from a fight, is still high on the feeling of broken bones and blood on his knuckles. The force in his chest, the clawing and raging thing settled just off-center of the very core of him, pulls him toward her and Marinette meets him halfway, her own bright, ruthless force like a magnet in her chest.

They meet in a clash of hands on skin and lips anywhere they’ll land.

It is the first time they fall into bed together.

It will not be the last.

Now, you may be thinking, ‘Lady! This isn’t very Aladdin at all!’ and to that I tell you: I fucking warned you. What part of bastardized-Aladdin didn’t you get?

Also, shh. This is my favorite part!

So Mari is in her own personal little honeymoon stage, right? She practically could not be happier because Jason is alive and he’s hers and, even if he’s more violent and a crime boss, he’s stopped attacking his family at least. Which is good, because Mari really didn’t like the sad look Tim wore every time he brought up Jason.

And, oh yeah. Through a combination of her own detective work and Tikki, little Mari realizes that Jason is her Black Cat. Is the only person her Black Cat could be, not because of destiny—though that had helped—but because of coincidence and the bond the pair forged themselves.  

So Mari is, obviously, on cloud nine at the moment and she tells Adrien and Fu who are ecstatic for her, and announcements are going to be made the second Mari tells Jason and what could possibly go wrong?

Well, a lot of things really but the first thing is that, basically, Mari is asking Jason to marry her. Just a bit. And while they both know, in that nebulous way they always have, that they love each other, neither of them have ever actually said it.

And also, they aren’t really dating right now either. Mari’s been too busy trying to just get near Jason again that she hasn’t much been paying attention to normal relationship things like dates or labels.

So when she brings it up Jason is… well, caught off guard is likely an understatement. Which then makes Mari realize what exactly she’s just done and- shit. She’s ruined everything and Jason is going to run away again and the compass in her chest is just going to be a reminder of what she can’t have and-

Jason, who only moments before was terrified and in danger of bolting—because this is a lot and magic-marrying Mari comes with responsibilities and rules and a thousand strings he doesn't know what to do with—now stops and stares at her, babbling and so obviously panicked and something in him abruptly settles.

She starts pacing and he grabs her hand when she passes by close enough, reeling her into his body. She comes easily even in her frazzled state and the vicious clawing thing in his chest sighs contentedly.

“Why?” he asks, and it is a million things at once. Why him, why now, why, why, why?

There are a million ways she could answer, but the easiest? The most important answer is simply this: “Because I love you.”

His breath shudders in his chest at her words and her hands raise to settle on his cheek and the back of his neck, a protection of one of the most vulnerable parts of him, and he leans into her touch like a man starved.

Gods, Jason has loved her for years.

He loved her Before and he loved her in the pits, when all he had was the hate they kept stuffing in his chest, and he loves her now. She is his sun and he will spin around her for the rest of his life. But when it all comes down to it, one simple fact doesn’t change:

“I don’t deserve your love.”

Her hands press harder into his skin, like she can force him to understand through touch alone. “If everyone only got the love they deserved no one would be truly loved,” she counters.

“You would,” he says, quick and quiet and honest. Her breath hitches and he watches her eyes go wide. The hands he has on her hips tighten at the emotions he finds there.

“Oh,” she whispers, already pulling him down to meet her. “Oh you stupid, beautiful man.”

And then they’re kissing and- and it is not the first time they’ve done this, but there is something very different about this one.

They’re kissing, and this time, it feels very much like coming home.

***

And, perhaps, that is not the end.

Because there is still one wish left. 

Because Jafar-Hawkmoth is still there, and he’s still murderous, and there a very real chance he’s going to ruin the wedding somehow.

Because there is never truly an end to a story, it just simply stops being told.

But none of that really matters. Our princess and her dearest street rat are together at last, and together they’ll get through whatever happens after the story stops being told.

They’ve always had a thing for impossible odds after all.

[innocentbi-stander]

I absolutely love your witcher headcanons! I was wondering if you go do one with dragon!jaskier, maybe where he is secretly a dragon and Geralt has had no idea until it is revealed? Thank you!

This may or may not have ended up a lot longer than intended, but once I started writing this dragon jaskier au I couldn’t stop. Enjoy this train wreck from my sleep deprived mind!

Jaskier is a red dragon, 100 years old and trying to get as far away from his family as possible when he meets a witcher

Except, this isn’t the witcher he meets in a run down tavern at the edge of the world, this one he meets in a back alley when he shoves a knife into the eye of one of the assholes trying to run the witcher out of their down

Jaskier isn’t afraid of witchers, he’d be stupid to do so, nevermind the fact that he’s a literal dragon, but he’s never met one in person so can anyone blame him for being curious when he hears the sounds of a scuffle and a flash of golden eyes

This witcher is loud, brash, and crude in way that’s utterly delightful to the bard when he cusses Jaskier out claiming that “he fucking had that one” and has an even more amusing look on his face when Jaskier fails to hold back his pleased laughter

To his credit, the witcher doesn’t run him through with his sword and takes the bard up on his offer to buy him a drink at the tavern next door, and introduces himself as Lambert

Jaskier has led a fairly sheltered life before leaving his homestead and he’s never met a witcher but he figures that if they’re anything like this one they must be alright

He thinks to others Lambert’s behavior might not be acceptable but Jaskier craves life and merriment and the witcher in front of him drinks with a hollow leg and has enough dirty jokes stored for a lifetime and Jaskier is having the most fun he’s had since he escaped his overbearing family

Jaskier has so much fun that he hardly notices how he and witcher drink through the night and straight through morning, and when Lambert asks which way he’s heading, the bard doesn’t hesitate to answer “anywhere you’re going is just fine with me”

Jaskier never tells Lambert what he is, but the witcher finds enough out on his own that the truth is revealed. Really, Jaskier hasn’t exactly been subtle when he breathes fire to light their camps, and there’s definitely been a few bar fights where the bard has flashed a fang or two

He answers Lambert’s questions honestly but avoids anything on the subject of family, it's too raw

Jaskier and Lambert travel for a few weeks before splitting, though they still run into each other at the occasional tavern

It’s a few years after meeting Lambert that Jaskier meets an old grizzled witcher while traveling. He seems shocked when Jaskier offers to share a campsite for the night but gets more comfortable when the bard speaks of his time with another witcher on the Path. 

The witcher introduces himself as Vesemir and tells him stories of his sons that he’s raised, not a lick of sense between them but each possess a good heart. They part ways in the morning but every once in a while they share a campfire and Jaskier delights in tales of Vesemir’s stupid pups and in return shares memories of flying in the open sky. He doesn’t need to tell Vesemir what he is either, for the old witcher has seen many of his kind throughout his days.

Jaskier is in the market skimming a stand with books of poetry when he runs into Eskel. Quite literally actually, the bard has a rather nasty habit of not looking where he’s going and he’s reaching for one of the knives on his person before he notices that the person before him is in fact, a witcher.

Eskel seems rather alarmed to be greeted so enthusiastically, but it isn’t long before Jaskier ropes him into discussing a few of his favorite novels. They grab a bite to eat and the bard vows to smuggle Eskel into the library at Oxenfurt one day, for it has “the most magnificent collection of books you’ll ever see Eskel, I swear”

After much discussion they part ways, but Jaskier finds a secret pleasure in gathering books for the witcher to pass on that he knows he’ll enjoy.

And then Jaskier meets Geralt, and everything melts away.

Dragons are hoarders by nature. They collect little treasures with fierce fascinations and would rather be struck down before having their hoard taken away from them. Jaskier has never truly experienced that kind of full minded dedication until he met Geralt.

He had only spoken a handful of words to the man before he knew that he would follow him to the ends of the earth. Jaskier’s music had always been the center of his world but in a tavern in Posada, his center shifted. At the center, was Geralt.

Geralt, his beautiful witcher with a heart of gold. Geralt, his fiercest protector. Geralt, who apparently is a complete idiot. 

The first winter after Jaskier and Geralt get their act together and fall into bed is the first time the bard manages to trick his way into getting an invitation to Kaer Mohren

Jaskier has never mentioned his previous experience with witchers to Geralt, but he also assumed that Geralt knew about the whole dragon thing and just never wanted to talk about it (all the other witchers had discovered this, but geralt was a special case)

When they arrive at the gates of Kaer Morhen the other witchers are waiting to greet them

Geralt braces himself to introduce his bard, prepared to fight to keep him there for the winter, so imagine his complete and utter surprise when they’re greeted with an enthusiastic chorus of “Jaskier!”

He blinks in confusion as Jaskier is swarmed by his family, and his brain barely registers the sound of his bard’s delighted laughter as Lambert swings him around in a circle and proclaims “It’s been far too long, little dragon!” and wait… what.

Jaskier is very busy enjoying his reunion with the other witchers in his life who he’s somehow never connected as being his white wolf’s bloody family and so almost misses the fact that geralt is apparently just now realizing he is a dragon

Jaskier has to calmly explain to Geralt that the reason that he hasn’t aged in the THIRTY YEARS WE’VE KNOWN EACH OTHER GERALT is because he is in fact not human

The explanation is exhausting but the “thank god you’re not gonna die on me” sex is fucking amazing, and afterwards Jaskier gets to watch geralt be teased relentlessly for his stupidity 

It only takes until dinner the following night for jaskier to claim the witchers as his hoard, and he declares that he would move mountains and slay kingdoms before harm befell them

It's a little intimidating but jaskier is clearly apart of the pack so they roll with it

Jaskier and Lambert absolutely refuse to tell the tale of how they first met just to fuck with geralt as they make him stew in suspense

Geralt is more than slightly afraid that jaskier and lambert have fucked and its absolutely agonizing because they will neither confirm or deny this theory

The truth is that neither or them really remember, but messing with geralt is just too fun to unpack that

Also for jaskier, the “you may or may not have fucked my brother at some point but pay attention to me cuz I’m Better” sex is way too good to stop

I’m still taking prompts and asks! Let me know if there’s anything else you’d like to see with any of these beautiful idiots!