#i wonder if any of these will get posted on reddit again

[nero1forte]

yk for someone who’s been posting these for a while you’d think i’d learn how to format the images better but NOPE!

[yupyupppippi]

twitter randomly putting me back at the top of my feed when I'm hundreds of tweets down vs tumblr randomly setting me back 4 posts and letting me go on my merry way

[falseficus]

I read a physical copy of monstrous regiment soon after listening to the audiobook, and I noticed two tiny discrepancies between the two editions that make an absolute world of difference. when I found out that these discrepancies existed (you’ll find reddit posts backing me up about them), I felt cheated that my first experience of the book had portrayed a less cohesive arc than pratchett intended

if you’re looking to buy or read monstrous regiment, I strongly recommend the doubleday 2003 version or the corgi 2004 version, which iirc contain the original text. The harper collins publications and audiobook both contain these changes, which imo are confusing and severely undercut the themes the book is trying to get across. if anyone knows the status of other editions of the book pls feel free to add on

obviously the audiobooks and ebooks are more accessible than physical books to some people, so if you read one of those just know that the original text is different in some key ways. I still recommend you read the book because it’s crazy good :)

the changes I noticed, beneath the cut to avoid some serious spoilers:

firstly, the last line of Jackrum’s last scene. in the Doubleday version, this line reads:

“Jackrum had turned her chair to the fire, and had settled back. Around him, the kitchen worked.”

in the harpercollins version, the line reads:

“Jackrum had turned her chair the the fire, and had settled back. Around her, the kitchen worked.”

this pronoun change is actually has huge implications. in the scene in question, jackrum, a transgender man, reveals that he joined the army in disguise. he is referred to as “she” throughout his background reveal. however, he then considers where his future will take him, and in the final line of the scene his pronoun reverts back to “he.” jackrum’s pronoun goes from he->she->he, encapsulating the gendery arc of the scene. however, in the altered he->she->she version of the scene, half of that circle is erased. the neat tie-up of jackrum’s journey is left confusingly unresolved, and the importance of his gender to the book’s overarching themes goes underemphasized

the second change I noticed is how maladict appears in the book’s ending:

in the Doubleday version, maladict appears “in full uniform.”

in the harpercollins version, maladict appears “in full female uniform.”

maladict is the last soldier to reveal [their] true gender, keeping up a masc/ambiguous presentation far after all the rest of the squad has come forward as women. “in full uniform” maintains this ambiguity, allowing the reader to decide for themself whether maladict comes forward and presents as fully female or continues to dress masculinely despite the fact that circumstances no longer require it (in fact I believe that the latter is more likely, as maladict says “thought I’d try again,” which could mean dressing in male uniform again). “in full female uniform” removes that ambiguity, and brings maladict’s arc to a somewhat unsatisfying conclusion. it eliminates the possibility of maladict as transgender or gender-non-conforming, and I’m left wondering, “if maladict presents as female so readily, why make such a fuss of it before now?”

both changes undermine the book’s message by eliminating its space for non-cisnormative identity… which is kinda crucial to the whole idea. im honestly really disappointed that these changes were made in any version of the book, because whoever made them clearly didn’t get the point

[chipsarchiveblog]

Hey Deltarune Fandom

I know its 3am as I wright this but I think I found something online that might be important- or at least, be something to consider- food for thought and all that jazz-

you see, I was scrolling thought reddit when I came upon a particular post...

it starts of seeming very normal, right? I mean, it's just your average detarune fan asking about equipment advice, right?

but.. somethings... off, to say the least......

Not only is the wording weird when talking about Spamton, (with the phrasing of "Spamton dude" being particularly odd, as to get to Spamton's shop, you need to get fairly familiar with him and his character, but this user seems to be acting like this is their first time meeting him.) But Spamton HIMSELF seems to look... Different than usual. Or, at lease, different than his usual shop sprite that is...

and I was not alone on this sentiment, as the comments noticed too!

which leads to wonder....

... yeah, that...

To which OP provided an... Interesting answer....

D-.... Didn't have the money? But, deltarune is free game? Or, at least, Chapter's 1 and 2 are...

you see, a while back, Toby mention online that Chapters 3, 4, and 5 would all be released together, and, unlike the first two, cost money. (or as a certain salesman would phrase it, cost some [[Sweet, Sweet KROMER]]!!!)

Not only that, but its kinda ironic that this user pirated a copy of a free game, and have the one character who has a history with shady links (or in other words, [[Hyperlink Blocked]]) be the one who's changed... Almost as if this bootleg game has its own bootleg of Spamton... The one character who literally tries to be a bootleg of ANOTHER character in-universe. *Cough cough* Swatch- *Cough cough*

But this also leads to question... are there any other differences in the game? I mean, it is a pirated game, surely there has to be some other differences from the original game other than some seemingly random shop sprite of spamton, right?

luckily, I was not the only one who was curious about this and a user by the name of kuro50 ask OP to quote:

To which OP responded:

how... convenient.....

I mean- don't get me wrong- I get that feeling not having any program to record with (though than again OBS Studio exist)- but even still, all of this seems a little bit too, odd to just let off as something "normal"...

but, than again, its not like there's anything necessary wrong about it either, right? I mean, sure, it weird that someone pirated a free game, but, maybe they're just some gullible kid online?

...Except, a user by the name of ThePotatoPerson510 pointed out a few striking things...

And then... it all stared to click...

I went to check the profile and, just as ThePotatoPerson510 had said,

"u/ThatDudeTobias, Cake day December 27, 2022, made 12 hours ago..." the same hour as the spamton post was made... almost as if the account was made just so they could post this.... (Note: the previous image in this post of the spamton post says it was made 10 hours ago. This time gap is because I have been writing this post for 2 hours straight now- coming onto 3 hours- as such, I give you this screenshot showing both the post and the profile, and thus, showing they were in fact made in the same hour-)

MID WRIGHTING UPDATE: It seems as if there WAS a time gap between the two post, as its 5:24am and I just took THIS screenshot showing the time gap. Take this how you will I suppose ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Now, about the name... It seem kinda... on the nose, to say the least. I mean, Toby, Tobias, seems a little to similar, right? But, at the same time, knowing Toby, he would be the type to use a seemingly obvious while still not TOO obvious name to fuck with us (he DOSE have a history with being a troll when it comes to his games ¬_¬||)

Also, looking back at the spamton image and comparing it to the name "Tobias", they both share one thing in common... They're both SIMILAR to their originals, to the point where you can tell what they're based off of, but, somewhat off...

As for the one other post on the account, well...

its..

... A comment on MeIRL?

Well, what's the original post?

A..... Video of some guy walking up the stairs, only to keep looping up the same steps, unable to get to the end?

Well, that's... anticlimactic..... Sooo.... Is this just some random account then? Was all of this just for nothing? Was it all red hearings in the end? Well, that's what I thought..

For you see, I realized something....

Toby Fox is a well-known fan of anime, but, not just any anime.... specifically, JOJO'S BIZARRE ADVENTURE. How do we know this? Well, in undertale, there is an item in the game called a Punch Card

When this card is used in battle, it says, "OOOORAAAAA!!! You rip up the punch card! Your hands are burning!" This increases your attack. "ORA" Is a common phrase screamed in JOJO' when one of the Jostar's are attacking.

Not only that, but in deltarune, main antagonist of chapter 2 is Queen.

her battle theme? Attack of the Killer Queen

Killer Queen is the stand of Yoshikage Kira. The main antagonist of JOJO'S BIZARRE ADVENTURE: Diamond is Unbreakable. Which is the 4th Chapter of the series.

So, what dose ALL of this have to do with the video "Tobias" commented on? Well, you see, in JOJO'S BIZARRE ADVENTURE: Stardust Crusaders, when Polnareff, one of the main protagonist, tries to walk up the stairs to face DIO, the main antagonist, he finds himself in the same loop as the man in the video. Continuously walking up the same set of stares, unable to reach the end.

Meaning, the video that "Tobias", or, as we presume, Toby commented on was in fact...

A JOJO REFFERANCE, AND THUS, MAKES PERFICT SENCE AS TO WHY HE WOULD COMMENT ON IT

...... And so with that last tidbit out of the way, we are left with 3 conclusions that we can come to... 1. This "Tobias" is actually Toby Fox teasing us about Chapter 3 and or some other upcoming scheme of his he has up his sleaves.

2. This "Tobias" is actually Toby Fox just fucking with us

and 3. This is some third party not affiliated with Toby but still making something and teasing it (possibly and ARG or something of sorts) .... That or I've just spent over 3 hours of my life typing this up only for it to be a shitpost by Temmie or something :/

either way its 6:41am as I type this and I have not slept all night so I hope you liked this deep dive analysis into this possibly important reddit account that could hold significant lore for the upcoming chapters of deltarune and if you'll excuse me I'm going to go collapse on my couch for the rest of the day :) have a wonderful time zone <3

[raviosrupees]

My parent rates LU Link's based on first impressions

[warning foul language, mention of alcohol, and my parents very negative impression of Wars !!! note this is my parents impression based off of the LU concept sketches + descriptions. a lot of em aren't accurate]

TIME

Very God of War, Kratos. PTSD Link.

when all the others are hanging out he's in the cups. He fought the moon? Sounds about right. Everyone else is talking and goofing off and he's got the thousand yard stare.

No one talks about how he cant get a full nights sleep. Please let him nap. Maybe let the owl take a nap too.

*stares at him for a very long time, before taking a sip of mimosa*

TWILIGHT

blond hiccup [httyd] very viking. Humble? Hiccup. Animal whisperer? Does he have a dragon? he turns in to a wolf? good for hiccup. getting over a complicated relationship? ...... h-

OH HE HAS GOATS? I love goats! Love this guy.

WARRIORS

Ah, douchy paladin! Yeah he's got the hip flex, he knows he's the shit. Very prideful? Of course you are. Leader type? Women problems? Not surprised. [said they most wanted to punch this one]

"This one writes himself. On Reddit forums"

FOUR [their 3rd fav]

"eeny meeny hippy genie" They've got the weird flowy scarf hat, they're super tiny! Dwarf.. chaos gremlin-- No that's a changeling! I don't think that's actually a Link, I think they faked their way in. Not that I blame them, its a pretty cool crew to be a part of. Spy for the fae realm.

WILD

5th grade school photo link. He's really excited for his first day of school and has a planner for all of his classes.

Good at navigation? Kudos for being a good boy scout.

Her 2nd favorite.

WILD

"Legolas Link" he likes to run on snow, flip his hair back + forth and shit talk dwarves [changeling doesn't like that]

"takes any questioning of his princess too personally? Why are they questioning his princess in the first place? *squints* Why is he so upset? Feel like maybe we need some codependency therapy-

IDENTITY CRISIS DUE TO MEMORY LOSS???? oh no, there we go, the therapy- INSECURE? THE ONLY ONE THAT FAILED? Dude, I think douchy paladin needs to take him to therapy-, maybe it'll convince him to get some too.

Proceeds to go into a rant about his sheikah tech being called weird magic: "Why are they calling his magic weird? That's rude ! They need to have more open minds, no wonder he's insecure! He just needs to feel confident and supported in his new environment and they're not being very supportive right now!"

*orders another mimosa*

LEGEND [their favorite]

"We've got stoner wizard link..." "Which one?" "He's wearing red, and like a fancy staff with a ball at the end for walloping on people who say he's not a real wizard" He just smacks em and says duh yes I am, but usually he doesn't bother with it bc he's too chill.

He's the Millenial of the linked universe. "Chooses not to be a leader type? 'Nope, Im good, just here for a paycheck not a promotion. Some PTO would be nice. Another adventure? He'd rather start a commune"

"Seems unaffected by his adventures?" Uhh he is though. He's just delusional about it now.

HYRULE

Classic link [true] silent generation, nobody acknowledges him. "just happy to be included," mistaken as a hobbit.

"He's actually a traveler, never stays in one place" "Ah so post adventure Bilbo baggins, who wants to see mountains again."

*starts singing "the road goes ever on and on"*

SKY

Foppy link. Fabulous haircut, cape swooped over one shoulder with the gorgeous coloring, contrasting belt-- he knows color schemes way too well, he could be in project runway.

"Not the leader type? Sure he's too busy worrying about fabric swatches. Views the master sword as a blessing? Yeah, I bet he does."

Very confidently decided his Zelda is a beard.

[stars-and-the-min]

☆ the wrong way to hard launch (14) | OP81

summary : oscar's girlfriend is a walking pr problem for literally everyone (including herself) social media au

pairing : oscar piastri x zhou!fem!singer!oc

a/n wait wait let him cook (imola)

masterlist | last part | part 14 | next part

INSTAGRAM

oscar piastri just posted to their story

TIKTOK

comments

FOLLOW UP QUESTION, WHICH RACE ????

something about a formula 1 driver and a rockstar having like the most normal story of meeting is hilarious

"took me a while to actually start dating her" i'm deadddd, u pulled her in the end tho bro

best relationship on the grid, i would die for them

didn't win the race but won her number, u have ur priorities straight

y'all gas her up too much it's not like she's that big a deal 💀 ↳ she's at least ten times more famous let's be fr for a sec, most of the world doesn't know what f1 is but they've probably heard one of lina's songs on the radio

REDDIT

r/EmptyBottles · Posted by u/luckyluna9364 1 mo. ago Lina x Oscar Timeline [read new comments]

fantstic013 · 12 hr. ago reviving this post bc of oscar's tiktok; they met at a race, which race??? when did lina attend a race?? whatthekermitdid · 11 hr. ago her f1 race debut (her words, not mine) was literally suzuka last month so i'm just as confused niaphilia283 · 11 hr. ago she might have done it behind the public's back. i think we all know that lina is only seen when she wants to be seen; we basically only saw her at scheduled events for the entirety of 2020-2023 like where was she even? what was she doing?

luckyluna9364 OP · 3 hr. ago ppl out there scrambling wondering which race but it has to at least be from the 2023 season bc i bet my whole life savings that their talking period was like 3 months so the new proposed meeting is like... abu dhabi grand prix (at the very least) which was back in december 2023

TWITTER

emme @flowersforcami · 4h still not over last night's show... the shit was phenomenal, it the cherry on top ↳ amie <3 @mieflrs · 4h i don't think we acknowledge how masochistic t*mmy must be to follow lina around europe and enduring those 2 hour shows where almost every song is the biggest middle finger to your existance; personally, if a song like aconite was written about me, i'd just never show my face again

kayla @luna_apocolypse · 5h oscar's story??? sir are you talking about the actual view or the stunning woman on the balcony?? it's important that i know

president linami @ linaminami · 6h 24 days since lina's posted on any of her socials... i can't believe i miss her unserious ass so much 🥲

oscalina real ?! @emptyginbottles · 33m "oscar could do so much better" respectfully how do you get better than selina fucking bui? ↳ oscalina real ?! @emptyginbottles · 33m "he should be with someone like him" she's australian, she's born in 2001, she's got cat energy, she loves sleeping and chocolate, she's slightly unhinged, she's known as a prodigy in her field, she keeps down low and most importantly, she's hot as shit, what more do you want

piaa⁸¹ @ papayaeightyone · 2h he called her his lucky charm 🥺 i love them so much 😭 ↳ lila💚 @kasdanrights · 2h wait lina?? where's this from?? i have terrible signal and no videos are loading ↳ piaa⁸¹ @ papayaeightyone · 2h it's from a video of them entering the paddock, someone asked him what's its like to have her at a race again and he grinned and said she's his lucky charm ↳ lila💚 @kasdanrights · 2h WAIT NO THEY'RE SO CUTE I CAN'T

MESSAGES

from the phone of oscar piastri

TWITTER

oscalina real ?! @emptyginbottles · 4h WE'RE SO BACKKKKK

↳ piaa⁸¹ @papayaeightyone · 4h that lucky charm must be working 👀

pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 34m OSCAR PIASTRI P2 START YES YES YES

oscalina real ?! @emptyginbottles · 21m oh he was not kidding when he said she was his lucky charm ↳ oscalina real ?! @emptyginbottles · 20m i'll have whatever he's having bc he was like a cat on steroids

jess @OPIXSTRI · 28m we were so close to a maiden pole why is it always a fucking haas ruining everything

Jonny @EB_jonno · 32m @ OscarPiastri Mega quali mate, way to absolutely send it (don't give Lina too much credit)

INSTAGRAM

oscarpiastri Autodromo Enzo e Dino Ferrari di Imola

liked by cameliazzz and 218,496 others

oscarpiastri Well, it was fun while it lasted 😂

opeightyone Time to have better fun tomorrow then

cameliazzz i bet she found it hilarious ↳ oscarpiastri @ cameliazzz She found the timing hilarious, she was pretty upset it happened

TWITTER

pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 3h oscar piastri is now incredibly familiar with the rear wing of that ferrari it's just a shame it's the hideous hp logo

oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 3h LANDO??? LANDO OML U ARE SCARING THE SHIT OUT OF EVERYONE

piaa⁸¹ @ papayaeightyone · 2h i mourn the mclaren double podium we could've had... ↳ piaa⁸¹ @ papayaeightyone · 2h what matters most is that oscar finished ahead of sainz, i'm a happy woman

ZG24 future WDC · @zhoupdates · 21m the most iconic cousins are having dinner together in imola after the race

tagged: 周冠宇 | Zhou Guanyu 🇨🇳 and lina !!! ↳ clara @ zgy24 · 5m oscar finally let lina out of his sight this weekend?

INSTAGRAM

oscarpiastri

liked by logansargeant and 264,586 others

oscarpiastri En route to Florence (got really sidetracked)

amelia_belrose who gave them the right to be so cute?

pi4str1 the anticipated road trip happened 🥺 ↳ linasgirl4 @pi4str1 from a mention in a rolling stones interview to reality, they did it guys 🫶

opeightyone Nice quick break before the double header

siera_mblanc he's never looked so boyfriend before this is insane, the girlfriend effect is slowly kicking in

TWITTER

pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 2h something real funny about oscar driving down to florence with lina to spend a day or two before having to helicopter over to monaco by wednesday for the mclaren senna tribute livery/monaco gp promotions like 😭 OSCAR, BREATHE A LITTLE ↳ pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 2h idk how u think this is lina hate, it's just me pointing out that oscar had found a gap in his schedule and immediately went: i'm spending as much time as physically possible with my girlfriend before they forcibly drag me to monaco

Oscar Piastri @ OscarPiastri · 4h Searching my family tree to find any trace of Monégasque roots ↳ Charles Leclerc @Charles_Leclerc · 1h I can adopt you if needed ↳ Jonny @EB_Jonny · 13m did we just become in-laws to the leclercs???

piaa⁸¹ @papayaeightyone · 1h oscar piastri-leclerc 😭

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

taglist @ririyulife @ashy-kit @fionaschicken @namgification @cherry-piee @urfavsgf @eiaaasamantha @sp1rl @destinyg237 @iloveyou3000morgan

[shiki-jin]

YOUR CELESTIAL MAJESTY • SAGAU

(part 0 here)

was listening to TruE on loop while writing the last part of this, it's genuinely such a good song ugwvdya

also can you spot the contradiction ;D it's plot relevant i promise

not proofread, dont bully me ill write a thesis on why youre a meanie

—

you had long deleted genshin, since you had other things to do. you had wanted to go back to the game for a while now, now that you were less busy, but there was just one little problem.

it was now taking up nearly triple the amount of space that it was when you uninstalled it. around 300 whole gigabytes.

jesus christ, what phone can even handle this???

your phone, apparently. because as you opened the game to see if maybe a miracle would happen and that if maybe they would just, like, remove half of the things in the game, it just… kinda loaded?

no installing new files, no checking for anything, no nothing…. just an immediate pan to the gates of celestia.

you decided to check if it was the right genshin since this was just way too weird, but countering your judgement, every link you found led you to the same game, leading you to believe it not to be a bootleg or an illegal version.

guess i’ll trust it then.

you clicked on the gates which opened smoothly, and your screen turned white. then, the symbols of the seven elements appeared in gray.

and then the game just… opened. no loading time, once again. no getting stuck on the geo symbol, nothing. nada. just a smooth entrance into what you had to assume to be teyvat — but your surroundings didn't really support that claim.

the grass was brown and just looked off, the sky was gray. a darker shade than, say, mond’s walls, but it was like one of those game crashes.

well, except you could still move around.

you moved your current character around (the traveller? since when were they the only one in your team?) and decided to open the map after not figuring out where you could possibly be.

hold on, this is springvale? since when?

eveything looked dead, like it had been rotting for a century. you tried to ignore it though, and teleported to the inside of mondstadt. surely this was just some glitch, right? one that would fix itself if you teleported?

maybe the world loaded incorrectly, maybe the fact that nothing took time to load meant that it couldn't load, maybe this or that, maybe…

maybe this really was how the game looked normally. you hadn't done any quests though, so you wondered if it could be restored.

you took a screenshot of the your surroundings — the stone, worn down and dirty. the houses which looked to be in a horrible state, and… the npcs, all sickly and pale, like they were starving.

you went to reddit (yes, reddit), and posted the screenshot, asking if it was normal.

you closed the game and decided to take a nap, too tired to really deal with this shit any further.

while you slumbered, people replied to your post.

╰┈➤ lol me too anon, me too

╰┈➤ isn't the game closed or wtv? how'd you get this wtf

╰┈➤ they're trolling

╰┈➤ o makes sense oops

╰┈➤ So we’re all still mourning huh

╰┈➤ jokes aside that's a super impressive edit ngl

you remained unaware of the truth, but you'd find out soon enough.

actually, you'd find out now, apparently…

what the fuck?? why is my bed so hard now?

you groaned and forced your eyes open, seeing a dark, nearly black sky.

the only light was a single star, lingering right above you.

“since when was i outside...?"

a voice spoke to you, answering your question.

“you always have been, have you not? but would you like to head inside, my lord?”

... huh? i recognize that voice...

—

p.s. place your bets on who it is, i’m thinking of one specific character but if there's a fan fav i'll make it them instead since i haven't written anything beyond this point (⁠・⁠_⁠・⁠;⁠)

p.s.s. don't expect updates to this series too quickly, i wish i could write as quick as i think of ideas but sadly that's not the case orz

[genericpuff]

Ive read a few of your LO esaays (all of which are really well written!) But I was wondering something.

Many people talk about how Rachel loves the story Lolita, and has talked about it before, but nobody has ever shown screenshots. I was wondering if you had any or knew where to find any. This is just being curious, not doubting your statements

Ah so I actually responded to a comment just like this a while back on reddit with all the receipts (it was particularly someone who was claiming it was all "made up" because like you, they couldn't seem to get any proof of it, which is totally valid) so I just had to go and dig those back up haha

DISCLAIMER: I want to make it clear that a lot of people tend to run amok with these suspicious pieces of evidence towards Rachel either "thinking Lolita was a romance" or being a pedophile. I want to make it clear that I do not think any of this is proof towards either of these claims. I do not think that she blatantly thinks Lolita is a romance, or that she was trying to perpetuate pedophilia in any sort of way, just that she may have wanted to have her cake and eat it too by acknowledging the age gap but embracing it anyways as she does throughout LO. I think, at best, she's a terrible writer who's still using the things she liked when she was a teenager / young adult as inspiration without actually going back and re-analyzing those things with an updated 38-year-old viewpoint (as she does this with a lot of things, not just Lolita). Claiming that the following receipts is 'proof' of Rachel being some kind of sex pest / pedophile is at best not constructive at all for the real discussions to be had concerning LO's subtext, and at worst, a serious claim that can ruin someone's life if thrown around without cause. Let's please be responsible and level-headed in how we approach this topic.

Old MySpace + DeviantArt bios with her interests listed:

Her old art site where she labels herself as a "lolita vamp" artist:

Her intro post from a lolita-themed forum she ran:

She does express that it's not THAT kind of lolita, which I'd like to think she never intended in the first place, but it's really telling that LO still manages to be that kind of lolita in a lot of ways, to the point that there are many scenes in LO that feel a little too similar to scenes from the 1990's Jeremy Irons adaptation, such as seen here.

(the above image are song lyrics written about the book, Lolita)

Also despite Rachel saying it wasn't "that kind" of lolita, she still made it clear back in the 2017/2018 run of the comic on Tumblr that Hades is, indeed, a "grown ass man", and that Persephone is a teenager.

And of course the proof is in the pudding, the comic itself is well aware of Persephone's age:

(either Rachel has been using Apollo as a mouthpiece for criticism for years, or she seriously thought this was supposed to make Hades look like the better partner for Persephone because "look at how mean Apollo is" when... he's deadass spitting facts LOL)

As I mentioned in my disclaimer, I don't think Rachel herself is in any way a sex pest or a pedo or whatever you might jump to assuming. Rachel has a history of being inspired by things she watched when she was a child without ever actually going back to re-analyze it or ask herself if what she read was credible or real-

(this isn't the only proof there is of her behaving this way, there's also the fact that she was clearly a huge Disney fan as a child but never asked herself why those movies worked as a piece of written media).

So again, I think at best she's just sort of dated herself by not going to the effort of researching the things she was into when she was a child, she tends to just throw things in that she likes haphazardly without a single thought as to why they worked in the first place or whether or not they would work in LO. Though this is a bit of a saltier opinion, I think when it comes to the Lolita thing specifically, I have a feeling she never actually read the book, just sorta did that thing where she watched the movie adaptation from the 90's and assumed that counted as reading the book and so she put it down as her favorite book / Nabokov as her favorite writer.

But none of that speculation really makes much difference because the evidence is 20+ years old. What does matter is that despite her tastes being what they were 20+ years ago, they're still present in LO and it's not even subtle, there are so many times Rachel has outright said both within the comic and outside of it that Hades is a "grown ass man" and Persephone is a literal teenager. Her fans, of course, will still go to the effort of explaining it on her behalf ("they're gods! ageing isn't a thing for them!" "how old you are doesn't matter when you can be immortal!" "well she probably doesn't mean LITERALLY 19, just like, the god version of it..."), but you can't deny what's coming from the horse's mouth - Hades and Persephone are in a relationship based on an intentionally massive age gap. Regardless of what completely speculative parallels we can draw between H x P and that of Lolita's Humbert Humbert and Dolores using 20 year old MySpace bios as evidence, Hades and Persephone having a massive and intentional age gap is undeniable fact made canon by the creator herself, no matter how you try and slice it.

[doll3tt33]

୨ৎ Kai Anderson SFW headcanons

Gonna start doing headcanons for the evans in between making bots cuz I’m bored lol. If you ever wonder how I perceive these characters while I make bots, then here you go!

A handful of these are just plain observations and maybe to some these are clear as day, but idk imma still include them either way

Warnings: misogyny.. duh, loaaads of Reddit mentions

• This might be indisputably obvious, but I feel like some ppl think of Kai as someone who always plans 10 steps ahead, which I personally don’t think so

Yes, he does have a goal in mind, but a lot of his “next moves” are just ideas that came to him in a fleeting moment. Of course, he’ll act as if he totally knew what he was doing this whole time, even though he was def freestyling 💀

I feel like calling him out on his lack of meticulous planning would be an absolute jab to his ego, and he’ll deny it big time

• Kai is the embodiment of what it means to be a pseudo-intellectual 😭😭. Like he isn’t stupid at all, no doubt about that (mans manipulated crowds). But his arrogant attitude, his shameless use of fallacies, AND the fact he’s a walking contradiction - all while trying to act like he’s the smartest guy in the room?? Bye-

Again, I think he’s smart but don’t tell me he doesn’t act like your average pseudo-intellectual guy who’d mansplain 24/7

• His tolerance to spicy food is actually weak, but he pretends like it isn’t. He could be coughing his lungs out from the tiniest hint of spice in his food, but he would refuse to drink a glass of milk to cool down. HES A MAN

• This is already kinda a given, but mans speech mannerisms is literally like the average Reddit comment section ((iykyk

I also feel like a rant he posted online has been made into a copypasta at some point lol

• Speaking of Reddit.. whenever he gets into an argument with another user on there (most likely a politically charged one), he’ll downvote every existing comment from that user and will proceed to do it to any of their future comments by keeping tabs on their account, all out of sheer spite

• He likes weird porn genres. Idk which ones exactly, but I just know they be really specific

• Says he likes submissive, obedient women whose sole existence is to serve him. But at the same time, he can’t stand people he deems as vapid, and would dispose of them once he begins to see them as more of a liability than an asset (especially if they’re just THAT annoying). He definitely would rather keep someone around who has more substance

• Kai would play devil’s advocate for any corrupt figure you could think of. He’s like… that guy

• This is also a given, but I’d like to stress that people don’t know how r/theredpill was his holy bible. The Kai we know today has applied all the must-know tips to his entire character and mastered the arts of misogyny 101

Oh and he has a bunch of motivational posts saved from there, and he rereads the crap out of them each time a “fEmAle” would piss him off

• If you knew Kai prior to his cult and were genuinely nice to him, he’d definitely have a teensy-weensy soft spot for you and would avoid killing you ((unless you end up in a situation like winter’s, cuz then…💀

You’d be like the Jean to his Patrick Bateman! 😭

[severus-snaps]

Densaugeo and Hermione and Snape

So, once again I find myself reading through Snape reddit threads but I don't really use reddit and they're years old so I'm importing it here. I'm tripping into Snape apologism territory here but also sort of not - yes, a teacher insulting a 14yo girl's appearance would be devastating and inexcusable irl but it's not irl - and it's these potential theories I'm interested in :P

Is it out of character for Snape, who never anywhere else in the books touches on people's appearances, to insult Hermione's appearance?

How likely is it that it's a misunderstanding or deliberate double entendre (aka he appears to be insulting Hermione's appearance but is actually saying to Harry/Ron, you just did the same thing to Goyle)?

And do we think it was part of his cover to be more cruel than usual in front of Draco, either by deliberately choosing a sentence to be interpreted either way, or intending it to sound mean?

I've covered some of my workings below the cut, but I don't reach any conclusions other than he probably was being more cruel for practical reasons, rather than for his own amusement, in this scene. As always, I just like talking to people about these things so if anyone wants to drop a comment then I'm here for it :P

I started with Snape is really at his worst in GOF but touched on a few others, too. Some of the arguments I've seen that interested me were these:

Snape has only once in seven books made a remark about anyone's appearance, which was following the teeth hex with Hermione

Snape was mocked in school for his own appearance - and mocked again in PoA by the Marauders Map for being an ugly, abnormally large-nosed slimeball etc, and mocked at home for being weird-looking (e.g. by Petunia). Harry/Sirius/others fairly regularly comment on Snape's unpleasant appearance, from his hair to his teeth to his skin. In short, he's not really set up to be in a position to be commenting on other people's appearances - and indeed, he generally doesn't

Snape tends to show his enjoyment when he enjoys an insult - he smirks, smiles, etc, when he's insulting Harry sometimes, or James, and even Umbridge for example you get the idea he's having a good time with the ironic bow - but he didn't here. He's described as looking at her 'coldly'. Usually he just ignores her until she speaks out of turn in class

It was potentially a misunderstanding? He's saying "I see no difference" to Ron's insistence that Draco did something wrong, when Goyle's just been sent to the hospital wing looking like something out of a book on poisonous fungi. Neither Slytherin nor Gryffindor get points docked until Ron and Harry start shouting (probably swear words) at him.

This post (or one of the comments in it) also argued that it's out of character; Snape insults Harry's character several times, but usually he's insulting people's abilities, intelligence, or behaviour, not their appearance (since he values those things, but not necessarily his/others' appearance)

Karkaroff says "It’s [the Dark Mark] been getting clearer and clearer for months" at the Yule Ball, and so is Snape's "Karkaroff’s Mark is becoming darker too" [emphasis mine]

Densaugeo-gate happens in mid-November, so Snape knows Voldemort is likely to return by this point, with several months' warning

The teeth incident happens in front of a few children of known DEs, most notably Draco Malfoy, whose father will hear about this - probably several times:

PS: “But this is servant stuff, it’s not for students to do. I thought we’d be copying lines or something, if my father knew I was doing this, he’d—” CoS: "… everyone thinks he’s so smart, wonderful Potter with his scar and his broomstick — ” “You have told me this at least a dozen times already,” said Mr. Malfoy, with a quelling look at his son. ... “The teachers all have favorites, that Hermione Granger — ” “I would have thought you’d be ashamed that a girl of no wizard family beat you in every exam,” snapped Mr. Malfoy. "I expect you’d have Father’s vote, sir, if you wanted to apply for the job - I’ll tell Father you’re the best teacher here, sir" POA: “God, this place is going to the dogs,” said Malfoy loudly. “That oaf teaching classes, my father’ll have a fit when I tell him —” GoF: Malfoy, whose pale eyes were still watering with pain and humiliation, looked malevolently up at Moody and muttered something in which the words “my father” were distinguishable.

Everything - from Hermione's grades to Harry's antics, up to and including the teachers' behaviour, punishments, and classes - is reported back to Lucius Malfoy, especially as it relates to Harry. A scenario in which Draco and Harry duel one another in the corridor and that isn't met by sufficient retaliation from Snape will make it back to Lucius, whether he cares to hear about it a dozen times or not. Lucius already knowing about all of Hermione's exam grades is interesting - how did Draco know? Did Snape tell Lucius directly when asked? I can't see Draco asking Hermione; I can see Hermione bragging talking about it. I'd love to know.

So what does it matter if Lucius hears about this incident? Well, he's widely known by Arthur Weasley and his kids, and therefore probably plenty of other people, as being in Voldemort's 'inner circle' as early as CoS:

“And when You-Know-Who disappeared,” said Fred, craning around to look at Harry, “Lucius Malfoy came back saying he’d never meant any of it. Load of dung — Dad reckons he was right in You-Know- Who’s inner circle.” (Fred, CoS)

Snape obviously knows; Lucius was probably the one who got him involved. Lucius probably had some level of influence or control over Snape even back when Snape was in school, or in his early DE days:

OotP: “Tell me, how is Lucius Malfoy these days? I expect he’s delighted his lapdog’s working at Hogwarts, isn’t he?” (Sirius)

lapdog: a small pampered pet dog | a person or organization that is influenced or controlled by another

Snape as a pampered pet:

I've seen some metas discussing this in terms of Ancient Roman society and patrons, in terms of 'fagging', and in terms of Lucius shaping Snape from a poor, jerky, twitching teen to a poor, jerky, twitching man who tried to hide it beneath a soft-spoken, well-spoken, cool air - modelling himself after Lucius. Snape was almost literally taken under the wing of Prefect Lucius Malfoy the moment he was Sorted. He probably learnt from his "old friend" to affect membership in the Pureblood/upper class - and did so well enough to shock Bellatrix when she first saw Spinner's End (and she never insults him for being half-blood, which she does to Harry, despite hating Snape).

In any case, Snape probably owed a lot to Lucius. He likely had a level of control over Snape, both through his existing personal relationship with him as a mentor-mentee ("old friend" at best) or abusive ("lapdog" at worst; see 'fagging') relationship. Until the end of CoS, Lucius had a hand in running the school on the Board of Governors, and had enough power/fear with the rest of the Board to remove Dumbledore, never mind mere mortals like Snape if he stuck a toe out of line. And even when Lucius was gone from Hogwarts, he retained strong ties in the Ministry, sharing a Quidditch box with Fudge, and evidently having at least a few conversations with Umbridge:

"I expected better, Lucius Malfoy always speaks most highly of you!"

So we can infer that Lucius thinks Snape is as dedicated to The Cause as he is. Even Draco remains convinced of this in later books, before Snape has cemented his position by killing Dumbledore, but even after Snape has usurped Lucius' position as Voldemort's right-hand man:

"[Snape's] a double agent, you stupid old man [Dumbledore], he isn’t working for you, you just think he is!"

[Draco likes/trusts Snape] “much less since his father has lost favour. Draco blames me, he thinks I have usurped Lucius’s position.”

Prior to Lucius' demotion/imprisonment era, Lucius clearly outranks Snape. Lucius is one of the most trusted DEs during VW1; only Lucius and Bellatrix are trusted enough to keep his Horcruxes safe (Lucius the diary, and Bellatrix the cup). Lucius was also supposed to be in charge of the battle for the department of mysteries, Voldemort's year-in-the-making plan, but obviously... that didn't go to plan, in the end.

But there's quite a rushed trajectory of Lucius' fall and Snape's ascent. The battle happens in late June 1996, Lucius is imprisoned, and not released for another year - during which time, Snape is rising, until he ultimately kills Dumbledore and is at the top. Still, he's not trusted with too much information; despite being at Hogwarts, he doesn't know the location or existence of the Horcruxes (unlike Lucius and Bellatrix, even if they didn't know what they were), and Voldemort doesn't allow Snape to see him enter Dumbledore's tomb.

Anyway, what with Bellatrix and other DEs not trusting Snape:

"Where were you when the Dark Lord fell? Why did you never make any attempt to find him when he vanished? What have you been doing all these years that you’ve lived in Dumbledore’s pocket? Why did you stop the Dark Lord procuring the Sorcerer’s Stone? Why did you not return at once when the Dark Lord was reborn? Where were you a few weeks ago when we battled to retrieve the prophecy for the Dark Lord? And why, Snape, is Harry Potter still alive, when you have had him at your mercy for five years?" ... "You can carry my words back to the others who whisper behind my back, and carry false tales of my treachery to the Dark Lord!"

What has Snape been doing all these years that he's lived in Dumbledore’s pocket?

Well, tormenting Gryffindors, for one. Tormenting Harry Potter and to a slightly lesser extent, his friends. Not all of it was tied to his cover - Snape was just a bitch with a bad classroom manner, no love of children, high expectations, and a short fuse. But if it helped, in the early months of his Mark darkening again, to become a bit more cruel to Muggleborns and Harry, then why wouldn't he - especially in front of Draco? He knew that soon - whether it be in a few months, a few days, or even a few hours, he was going to have to walk back into Voldemort's fold and pray to god he wasn't killed on sight for abandoning the cause. With others whispering behind his back - bold of them, since the ones left to whisper are largely people who escaped Azkaban, but it's a crab bucket being a Death Eater - he'd need a benefactor. A trusted servant, like Lucius, to back him up. "No, no, Snape's been tormenting Potter for years - Draco says so. He'll tell anyone on the Board who stands still for long enough how useless Potter is. Oh, he says he's Dumbledore's man, but when the old coot's back is turned, he insults that Mudblood Granger."

It wouldn't be much use to Snape if his Occlumency said one thing (I'm still a loyal Death Eater) but his actions said another (he's perfectly jovial to all students), especially as Snape is just not...a jovial person to begin with. He's got a nasty streak as a teen that Voldemort probably would've encouraged in the Dark Arts. Half of the Order were Gryffindors and half (or more than half) of the Death Eaters were Slytherins.

Also Lorrie Kim's books has some really nice observations about how his behaviour (in terms of his personality, loyalties, how he appears) really starts to contradict his core values in GoF especially.

Anyway, once again I don't have a conclusion, I just had thoughts, based around these again:

Is it out of character for Snape, who never anywhere else in the books touches on people's appearances, to insult Hermione's appearance?

How likely is it that it's a misunderstanding or deliberate double entendre (aka he appears to be insulting Hermione's appearance but is actually saying to Harry/Ron, you just did the same thing to Goyle)?

And do we think it was part of his cover to be more cruel than usual in front of Draco, either by deliberately choosing a sentence to be interpreted either way, or intending it to sound mean?

i feel like i've set anyone who read this far along homework :P one foot of parchment, on my desk by Friday

[astrobei]

hi i love your fics and I was wondering if you had any byler fic recs

thanks

hello there! in all honesty, i have not had the time to read a lot of byler fic as of late, but it’s been a while since i posted some recs so i’ll drop a few that i’ve enjoyed recently! as always, i do endorse every fic in my bookmarks to the highest possible degree, so always feel free to look through those for new reading as well <3

say it with your hands by pseudologia (@hellfiremike) — will is a new employee at the movie theater mike works at, and mike starts thirsting over will’s hands to a degree that’s downright detrimental to his employment status

GOD. this fic. i gushed in their dms immediately after finishing it because this might be my favorite modern will characterization of all time, and this is coming from someone who has a million and one takes on modern era will byers. this fic just checked all of my boxes — from the summertime romance to mike’s painfully in-character teenage angsting to will being a frequenter of star wars reddit threads and an enjoyer of sufjan stevens. and the TENSION. oh god the tension. i’ve read all their fics probably three times over each, and i also highly recommend like i am home again, a college au set during a halloween party which made me stare at my phone refreshing ao3 hourly until it updated, and can this be a real thing (can it?) wherein mike and will reunite in a gay bar. enough said

landslide by chamb3rs — the party’s senior year of high school

i don’t often reach for chaptered fics since i usually have such limited reading time, but i’m sooo so so happy i stumbled across this one. there have just been very few fics that have touched me like this one did. i blew through this in one sitting a few weekends ago and subsequently experienced the full range of human emotions (and then some) all in the span of a few hours. everything about this was perfect — the will pov, the weird liminality of transitional periods, the party and byhop family dynamics, down to my favorite portrayal of theeeee jennifer hayes in any fic ever. on top of all of that, this fic perfectly captures the heartbreaking euphoria of being in love with your best friend, and all the ups and downs that come with it. i crawled out of the ao3 tab covered in blood and my chest was hurting and i was shaking and i had damn near chewed my own arm off — and then i sent the link to my friend 10 minutes later and watched her experience the same exact thing like a train wreck in slow-mo HAHAHA

what a time to be alive by passerine_in_jade (@newlesbianprideflag) — will disappears and haunts mike from the upside down

i’m forever a total sucker for a good haunting metaphor, so it’s absolutely not a surprise that this fic is appearing on this list. the premise for this was so so so cool and interesting, and it’s another chaptered fic i’m glad i had a little extra time to read. the way the author had me rooting for mike and will the whole time even though half of the pairing was offscreen for a large majority of the fic is a highly commendable feat. mike’s unyielding loyalty to will and will’s constant faith in him felt so true to their canon selves, and there were so many moments that were so quiet and intimate and tender that i really felt like i was intruding on something. good good stuff

that’s what you get for falling in love by harriet_vane — will gets his first boyfriend in college, and mike, ever the ally, has very normal feelings about it

i want to preface this by saying that this fic is rated m, mostly just for mentions/allusions to sex, and one largely non-explicit portion of a scene in the last chapter. if that’s not your cup of tea, it’s easy to tell when it’s coming up and to skip past it without detracting from the plot, but i think it would be a greater detriment to not rec this fic at all, because it has quickly made the list of my favorite byler fics of all time. something about this take on jealous mike especially resonated with me — his inner monologue is simultaneously hilarious and depressing, and his obliviousness regarding his feelings for will feels so true to life without being overdone or cartoonish. you can tell just how much they really care for each other, and the conflict in this actually made me start crying because it felt so visceral and so fundamentally them. you can tell this author really understands their characters, and the love put into this fic is soooo palpable. it’s the kind of fic where you want to bonk their heads together to knock some sense into them, but you are helpless to do anything but hold on as you’re swung along for the ride.

finally, i try not to just rec fics written by my friends, but my recent reading list would be incomplete without these two wonderful additions:

the way you love me by strangeswift (@strangeswift) — byler exes (absolutely heartwrenching edition)

i’ve been hearing abby talk about her ideas for this fic for the better part of a year as she worked on it, and she actually edited and posted the first two chapters while i was visiting her! and by god is this world a better place with her byler exes concept in it, because if you want angst, you’ll never have to look further than her ao3 page. something about the way she writes will in this fic just makes my heart shrivel up and die in my chest — his quiet resignation, the bitterness (always love a good bitter will byers moment) and the Longing that never quite went away. mike’s characterization is also top notch, and you can really feel the chemistry between them during every interaction. at the time of me posting this list, chapter 4 is not yet up, but trust me when i tell you guys it’s going to soooooo be worth it. :-)

the end is here by bookinit (@bookinit02) — a speculative byler-centric season 5

if you’ve been following my blog for any amount of time, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that haven’s canon rewrite series is hands-down my favorite series across any pairing and fandom. her creativity with her season 5 concepts never fails to astound me — from the scripts she’s been working on as an alternative to the episodes she rewrote for s1-4, to her ideas for possible plot lines, and just incredible writing all around. i’ve had the privilege of reading through her scripts before she posts them to her blog (definitely go check them out) but special privilege bias aside, it takes soooo much skill to create such a visually powerful story in a medium that allows for such little narration, and the corresponding chapters just totally pushes it over the edge. pre-s5 required reading for every byler, and 100000% my new canon if the show doesn’t pan out

this definitely is not an exhaustive list because i have a million and one fics on my to-read, and one day i will get around to reading them all, but i hope there is something on this list that strikes your fancy!!

[moonrisecoeur]

compliance (how to brainwash your boyfriend) — leon kennedy

author’s note: this was written with re4r!leon in mind bc that’s my boyfriend! angel said so!! i have… so many hypno ideas, some considerably more palatable and some that are Much Worse, so pls let me know if you want more! also this is based off of an audio i listened to once by everdistant-utopia on reddit! the headset concept is kind of (extremely) goofy but i was into it idk. again, i'm aware that mind control isn't real and this is a silly ass concept. i had fun doing it anyway. no leons were hurt in the making of this fic. sorry for not posting it sooner even tho it was done i was extremely embarrassed lol. pls ignore any typos. love you!! thank u!!

wc: 5k

content: sub!leon x fem!reader, afab reader, oral reader receiving, orgasm control, mention of feet for like two seconds

warning: this is dark content. please do not read if the following topics are sensitive to you: noncon, hypnosis, mind control. i dont endorse or encourage this type of behavior irl, its just a fantasy!

—

as you walk down the street, you walk by a flier that’s sitting on the sidewalk. you don’t stop to read it, but one word caught your eye. mind control. it was probably something stupid, something completely made up by some lunatic who thinks mind control is real. mind control is maybe, technically real, in the ‘just relax and close your eyes, breathe deeply and let yourself be at peace’ kind of way. definitely not the ‘put on this headset and let me rewire your brain to make you my pet’ kind of way.

but… would it really hurt to look at the flier? you turn around to see it’s still there, and, against all your better judgment, you decide to walk up to it and pick it up.

it’s dirty, wet because of the rain from last night. even still, you can read the description of the advertised product clearly, along with some more info like a website and contact info for the designers. you take a brief moment to wonder who in the hell comes up with that stuff.

introducing you to the ultra brainwasher headset 3000! perfect for all of your mind control needs! simply place the device over the subjected head and choose what you’d like to do with them. need an obedient housewife? in search of a new pet? want them to be madly in love and obsessed with you? all of that and more is possible with the ultra brainwasher headset 3000! visit our website and order the headset today!

you blink. this is insane. who would do this? who would make this? why would anyone want to make someone do any of this against their will? you feel sick to your stomach as you crumple up the flier and toss it in the nearest trash can.

because that’s… that’s not consensual. that’s wrong in every possible way. unless they gave consent to be, what, turned into an ‘obedient housewife’? that’s really what it said? there’s just no way that’s right. how is that legal to sell? what even was that flier doing?

this feels like the kind of thing that would be sold on the black market, not openly advertised to people on the street. what if some lunatic saw it and just started brainwashing people? no one could stop them, it’s not exactly a crime in and of itself, and any crimes committed would be a little difficult to report if the ‘subject’ was too mindless to notice or to say anything.

whatever. you threw the flier away, you did your job as a good samaritan by tossing it so someone much much worse than you wouldn’t get a chance to look at it, and thus, you can forget all about the headset. pretend you never saw the flier or knew it existed and carry on with your life.

except, you can’t really. it permeates your thoughts, seeps inside of your subconscious until you begin to hypothesize that the headset wasn’t the real hypnosis, it was seeing that flier. you know you must be delusional. it’s not real, you’re not really mind controlled from just reading the flier, but… would it really hurt it buy it? you had the money for it and it’s not too expensive at all.

you hate yourself for it but you look on the website, just as hypnotic as the flier was, and you see multiple variations of the headset. some more suited towards different outcomes for ‘subjects’ and some just different stylistically.

you find the one you were looking at earlier. the ultra brainwasher 3000. it’s a stupid name, you’re aware. it just doesn’t really matter because who’s gonna know that you own this? you’ll keep it, maybe try it out on yourself to see what it’s like. you won’t do anything crazy, maybe like, hypnotize yourself to not be able to sit down until all your household chores are done, just for the day. the ultra brainwasher 3000 claims to have this functionality, and you’re… more or less, curious.

you order it and spend two weeks in absolute hell, making sure your boyfriend is never home alone when the package could arrive. you’re not worried he’d open it and see the device. he doesn’t look through your stuff, but the packing sticker ‘brainmelting industrial company’ would…. catch his eye for sure. try explaining that to your boyfriend, especially because even if you’re a good liar, you’re not to leon.

but, you get it, and it’s perfect because leon isn’t home right now, and you get to play with your new toy for a little bit. the box is smaller than you expected, only including the headset, a charging cord, and a set of instructions.

as you’re reading, the thought only just now hits you. it’s surprising that it’s taken you this long to have this idea, given how it would be someone else’s first instinct.

“should i…” you murmur to yourself, looking around nervously to see if anyone is in earshot, “… should i use this on leon..?”

i don’t know, should you use a mind control headset on your poor boyfriend that was just sent on a mission to save the fucking president’s daughter? maybe not.

you don’t know how it took you this long to come up with the concept. i mean, the flier did mention making someone your obedient housewife, but… they never said that someone had to be a girl…

it’s gross or actually more disgusting, honestly, how excited you get at the prospect of doing this to leon, but you decide that yeah, fuck it, you might as well brainwash your boyfriend. truthfully, what are the consequences? besides… ruining your relationship, betraying his trust, destroying him as a person… eh, it’s only temporary, right? there’s ways to make it only temporary.. and there’s no way he’d remember..

you fiddle with it, curious of all the different things you could do to him. the headset didn’t have presets, you could make up literally anything you wanted him to believe. you could make him the obedient housewife, but you could also make him a servant, maybe even dress him up all pretty as a maid. you could make sure of his loyalty and commitment, make him be so in love with you that even the thought of being with another woman makes him physically ill.

he gets home later that night, worn down and tired and exhausted in every possible way. and you know you’re going to have to put on your best acting skills. you’re not sure if you’re ready to do this, but you’re gonna have to be, so you press a sweet kiss to his lips, one he lingers on for just a moment too long. his lips chase after yours as his eyes open back up slowly, looking at you through his pretty lashes, an eyebrow raised, “what?”

you can’t help but adore him, his bluntness and gruff attitude, yet how soft he touches your waist as he pulls you closer. leon is nothing if not gentle and sweet, and you love that about him, “nothing, i just… i just wanted to look at you,” you say, and it reminds you just how easy leon is. just a couple of words and his eyes get a little glassy, his heart leaping out of his chest just a bit.

it sometimes helps that your boyfriend has been through every form of hell since that day in raccoon city, so sometimes just sweet words and little gestures get a bigger reaction than you’d expect. he’s traumatized and broken down, so the love you give him matters so much more.

in short, he’s easy. he gives in quickly and doesn’t like to fight, not with you. gives you everything you want, doesn’t protest, doesn’t ask for much besides your attention and love.

“you always stare at me,” he says awkwardly. god he’s so not charming that it makes him effortlessly likable.

that’s what’s so sucky about the idea of hypnosis. do you lose the person he used to be? sure, a mindless househusband would be great, helplessly obedient and passive and hardworking, but does this override his actual personality? that’s a bit too scary.

you make an effort to soak in these parts of his personality, enjoying every inch of his pretty little mind. you decide that no matter what you do to him, you can’t ruin him completely. you’d miss his heart, rough and guarded but nonetheless yours.

“i wanna try something,” you murmur to him, your heart pounding a little more than it should, “do you trust me?”

“of course i do,” he says. your heart almost aches, he trusts you so implicitly.

“close your eyes,” you say, and he complies easily.

you step away to grab the headset, and he’s so sweet and good that he doesn’t even peek. you take a deep breath, and commit to it.

you place it on his head, and he grumbles, but doesn’t object. poor thing. doesn’t even realize what’s happening to him.

—

the setting on the headset that you chose wasn’t anything flashy but it was labeled ‘semi-permanent’ and it stated that the subject would not remember anything from the moment of hypnosis to the moment they wake up next. so, all and all, even if you felt horrible, the damage wouldn’t be permanent, and leon wouldn’t even remember what happened.

truthfully, it felt like nothing could go wrong. it wouldn’t alter him too much, just… make him helplessly obedient for a couple hours. you could turn up the intensity if you wanted to, if it wasn’t quite enough to satisfy your curiosity.

you decide that it’s now or never, especially since being lost in your head while your boyfriend is cluelessly wearing what looks like a vr headset is kind of… odd.

you start the application, waiting for it to begin on his end.

“what are you up to?” he asks innocently, probably still not seeing anything while it loads. the question sounds like an accusation, but it’s really not. leon genuinely just wants to know what’s going on. it’s hard not to, but you don’t answer.

you notice the exact moment that it starts because grunts out of nowhere and his whole body tenses, and he clutches onto the fabric of the couch cushions, using that sense as a way to ground himself during an overload of audio and visual stimulation.

you reach to grab his hand, and his grasps yours tightly, desperately, as if physically pleading with you to make it stop.

you whisper to him, “shhh, nice and easy,” you’re not even sure if he can hear you, but you still feel the need to speak. you’re not sure if it’s your voice or your touch but he relaxes just slightly, his breath raggedy and tense. he’s trying like hell to keep himself together, but it’s so overwhelming that it’s hard for him to think, “hey… it’s okay. you’re okay, just… let it happen.”

a pathetic little whimper escapes his throat as his body goes slack, jaw hanging open and arms hanging limply by his sides, “wha… why?” his voice sounds small, weak, and if you weren’t so cruel, you’d immediately take it all back and apologize and just face the consequences.

but you’re too far deep to back out now, even if leon’s pitiful demeanor is almost swaying you to stop, you know you can’t. not now.

“i… i thought you…” he whines, body tensing and spasming as he tries to put some form of coherent thought together, “wha… why..?” he whimpers again, pathetically broken down in just a matter of minutes.

you sit there with him, holding his hand, waiting for the process to be done, and once it is, you take the headset off.

he seems agitated, but doesn’t seem to know what at. his muscles are tense, but he doesn’t make any sudden movements.

“hey,” you mutter gently, and he almost flinches at the sound, looking at you with those wide deer eyes again, scared. you reach out to touch his face, fingers caressing his cheek.

the cogs in his brain turn as he processes what’s happening, and the agitation seems to evaporate and become replaced by a sense of calm and relaxation. he looks into your eyes, and it seems like he’s deciding something.

“leon?”

“yes? how… can i serve you?” he asks, jaw dropping at his own words. he’s so stunned at what he’s saying and how he’s acting yet he can’t help it.

“…address me as… ma’am,” you say, and he shivers, eyes closing tensely as he tries to figure out what the hell is going on, “and go get me something. how about… a cup of coffee? yeah, let’s start there.”

it makes sense that he’s fading in and out, the programming would probably need more time to settle in before it was done and his personality obviously wouldn’t just disappear, but it was still a little bit heartbreaking to watch him fight the voice in his head that is desperate to obey you.

as he disappears into the kitchen, you sit where he was sitting on the couch to take a moment to think it all over.

leon has never been the most… dominant man. he has his moments of aggression and tension that turn into a roughness that his soul seems to often carry, but it’s never controlling. he’s not demanding, he asks nothing of you besides gracing him with your presence.

but due to his past, submission also doesn’t come easy to him. he likes to think he would lean more sub, just because he’s so malleable to your will, so easy to convince. anything you want is yours, and if you want his dignity laid out in the palm of your hand, then it’s yours to keep for eternity. he just struggles to fully give up control, especially since you know he’s not really had much of that in his life.

you kept his personality intact for the most part, but… he just seems so different. he responds pretty much the same, talks the same, acts the same. something just doesn’t seem right.

“here’s the coffee you asked for,” he mutters when he returns, his voice gruff but soft at the same time. he’s… definitely conflicted. the implanted urge to obey you mindlessly and the natural urge to protect his self-respect are fighting in his head. you watch curiously to see which will win.

leon has been through hell, and you can always see it when you look into his eyes. he’s been controlled by the government, a puppet on their strings, since he survived that night in raccoon city. he must be used to a lack of control in his life. but now he’s your puppet, and you have no interest in using him as a killing machine. you have… different plans for him.

“thanks,” you whisper, and he nods, quiet but obedient. just how you wanted him. he stands there beside you, not really knowing what to do with himself as you take a sip, “rub my feet now.”

“..what?”

“you heard me,” you say. and he did.

something in his stomach sinks at the command, a feeling of urgency to do as you say fills his entire being, but it just feels so wrong to him. you’re never this brazen, this demanding.

“come on, leon,” you say, almost condescendingly, pointing to the floor right in front of the couch, “on… your… knees.”

he breathes shakily, but kneels down in front of you, avoiding eye contact as he gives you your damn foot massage. there’s turmoil in his head, easily seen by that deer-like look in his eyes as he stares wide-eyed at the ground. despite his roughness, he’s always had these soft, fragile eyes, reminding you of who he really is. it would be truly heartbreaking to watch him go through this if it also wasn’t incredibly attractive to put him on his knees and order him around.

leon has always been relatively compliant, but now it’s on a whole other level. anything you ask for, despite some inner conflict, he’ll do. you wonder just how far you could push him, but… you don’t decide to test that just yet.

for a few minutes, or however long it takes for you to finish your coffee, you sit there with him. his touch is good but not very skilled. he gets the tension and soreness out though, and you’re sure you could train that into him over time.

“take off your shirt,” you say, and his throws off his t-shirt easily. it lands in the corner unimportantly, and your smirk radiates confidence and something else much more sinister, “stand up, bend over in front of me.”

he closes his eyes tightly, clearly fighting that inner battle but the part of him desperate to get away and to not obey you is losing. he slowly rises to his feet and does as you ask. he places his hands on the coffee table, legs spread slightly like he already knows what’s about to happen. funny, because he doesn’t seem to know much of anything right now.

you stand up, hands touching all over him but particularly grasping at his ass, pulling down his sweatpants and boxers and enjoying the way his muscles flex, tightening and hardening when you grab him, “you never let me spank you,” you muse, almost annoyed, “i get it. you get nervous with power play and letting me dom you or whatever, but i always wanted to hit it just once. just to satisfy the curiosity of what it would be like.”

your hand pulls back and slams against his butt with a loud smacking noise. he gasps, breathing out shakily after the hit, “i… i’m sorry, ma’am.”

“but now that we’re here… and i’ve already got a taste, i don’t think i ever want to stop. so, from now on, no more of that. if i want to slap your ass, i’m going to,” you murmur, “and you will not try to stop me or convince me not to.”

“i.. i…” he whimpers, and for a second you pause, nervously that the real leon, somehow deep down, heard that, “… yes, ma’am.”

“good,” you mutter, slapping it again, feeling the hit in your hand as you pull away, and if you can feel it so clearly then you’re sure he can, “now, be polite and say ‘thank you’. thank me for teaching you how to correctly behave.”

“tha… thank you, ma’am,” he whispers, eyes shutting slowly as his deep inner need to resist is weakening.

“i own you now,” you groan, grasping at his hips posessively, mouth pressing open kisses to his bare shoulder, “no, i… have always owned you. owned your body, you just didn’t realize it.”

he nods, incredibly turned on. his body aches to be claimed, to be made yours.

sure, leon has always been yours, but his body has been purely his. he’s… cautious with it. he’s been more or less just too busy for romantic partners, but somehow you snuck your way into his life and he happily lets you stay. he just… is slowly learning to trust you with himself.

he can do easy, comfortable, casual sex. what he can’t do is hand himself over to you like this, helplessly obedient, submissive in every possible way. as much as leon doesn’t have the energy to fight, tired and worn down, fighting is all he know.

your nails drag against the skin of his torso and back, leaving pretty red lines wherever they go, “no more fighting. no more stressing about it. all you have to do is be mine, unequivocally.”

“i… i am..” he mumbles, and you tilt your head, eyeing him curiously. he notices, shying away, “i… i am yours. unequivocally. you can… you can have me.”

manhandling has always been a little difficult, considering leon is all muscle and he’s a sturdy guy, but you spin him at the hips to face you, and he’s effortlessly moved, “can i… have your body just as much as i have your heart?”

“yes, i… yes, ma’am, it’s yours. do whatever you want with it, ma’am,” he says, a slight daze in his eyes, clearly he’s not all the way there. he's trying. he’s still so soft, so tender and malleable, so leon.

you lean in to press a kiss to his lips, and he melts into your touch, hands grasping him roughly, in a way that might hurt anyone else, but leon is strong. sure, your touch is bruising him, but… he doesn’t have enough

of his mind left to be bothered.

lips trail down his neck and shoulder, but move back up to his ear, sucking on his skin in a vampiric manner. you whisper to him, “you’re gonna only focus on my pleasure.”

“i… i am? i… i am…” he stutters, god it’s so damn cute.

“of course you are. you’d rather eat me out than have an orgasm yourself, wouldn’t you? if i was a crueler person, i would find a way to mind control your orgasms away completely. that way you could… focus on my pleasure, but i’m not that mean.”

he shudders, your lips pressing to the sensitive spot underneath his ear, teeth dragging down his skin, teasing him, taunting him.

“you wanna eat now?” you ask, lips pressed to his collarbone now, and he moans out an affirmative. you suck a hickey against the skin right atop of the bone, admiring the redness, the way you get to watch it turn a disgusting shade of purple. one that should make you nervous to have done to him, only turns you on.

instead of ordering him into his knees this time, you just push him, easily putting his head between your legs. his hands come up to hold your thighs, steadying himself as you half-stand half-sit on the counter. he pulls your pants down enough , but can’t even be bothered to take off your panties, just pushing them to the side.

“can.. i, ma’am?”

you chuckle, not really expecting him to be so polite, “go for it, sweet thing.”

he leans in, pressing a teasing kiss to your clit, just once, before his tongue meets your folds and he licks and sucks like tomorrow won’t come but he’ll make sure you will. he groans into your pussy like he’s the one being pleasured, and that honestly seems like a fair comparison. sure, he was physically pleasing you, but even just the act of giving oral is making his head spin with a satisfaction he has never felt before. he could get high off of this.

leon has always been good at giving head. much better than just good. he’s incredible. it’s the one thing where he can fully just zone out. if you’re too lost in your own pleasure, then you can’t focus on him and how he’s feeling, and there’s something oddly safe about the feeling of being, for all intents and purposes, alone with his thoughts. eating your pussy just comes so natural that it’s second nature.

but now? he can’t get lost in his thoughts if he doesn’t have any. doesn’t mean he’s enjoying it any less. he’s enjoying anything you ask him to do. you could tell him to go fold your laundry and then clean your bathroom and do your dishes and he’s do everything diligently and he’d be satisfied the whole time. god, maybe you do really want a househusband. besides, leon could use the emotional break from his job. he’s content enough serving you.

he makes you cum sooner than you expected, but it’s literally just because he’s that good with his tongue, and when he moved one his hands from your thigh to press two fingers into your cunt, fingering you in thick circular motions as he sucked on your clit, you were gone.

he continues, wet fingers gushing in a fast rhythm as you orgasm, grinding against his mouth, using him completely for your own pleasure. it was always a secret fantasy of his, and now it’s reality, even if his mind isn’t all the way there and the only thoughts running through his head are is she pleased with me? did i do a good job? do i deserve her praise? i should do better next time. i should serve her better. i only want to serve her.

and now that he’s completely helpless, servitude being the only concept he can comprehend, and you come down from a high so intense it took you a second to remember that leon was waiting patiently for your next command, next order.

“put… put me on the couch…” you gasp out in heavy breaths.

he’s strong, and he helps to guide you to the couch, body still part paralyzed from such an intense pleasure. you lay there, still breathing a little heavy.

“go get dressed and cleaned up…” you mutter to him, “and then come back out here and cuddle up next to me.”

he does as you ask, finding his clothes and getting dressed again, and then when he approaches the couch again, you reach out your arms for him. the smile he gives you is almost too real. too… really leon. you still feel that twinge of nervousness in your gut, but then he lays against you, head tucked into the crook of your neck, and you know he doesn’t know. for all that he’s good at, leon’s not a great actor.

you reach your hand up to run your fingers through his hair repeatedly, soft and soothing motions to lull him into a state of compliance.

“you’re mine,” you whisper, hoping he’ll confirm it back.

of course he does, softly, no longer feeling conflicted, “yours, ma’am.”

“you’ll be obedient and submissive from now on,” your voice is soft but carries a dominance he doesn’t quite think he could ever escape nor would he ever want to.

“i’ll be.. obedient and submissive.”

“you’ll only focus on my pleasure,” you say, knowing he’ll repeat it back obediently just like the ones previous, but you feel his rock hard cock against your leg and as much as you want to shove his cock inside of you in an instant, you can’t help but want to control him like that. keep his orgasms just out of reach until he goes mad from the teasing and edging you plan to do to him. keep him nice and horny and desperate, just how you like him. if he wasn’t submissive enough for you before, he is now.

“only yours, only ever yours, please…” his voice is soft and meek and god if you wanted to you could find a mind control that was permanent and just… leave him like this forever. let him take care of your home and future kids and do your household chores and tasks. keep him completely obedient, god it would be…

“you can’t resist,” you whisper, leaning into his hair,

resting your head against his in a soft intimate moment, “i can’t resist, ma’am.”

you nod gently, and after a moment, you sigh, running your fingers through his hair, “i’m.. i love you, leon. sorry about all of this..”

“… why are you apologizing, ma’am?” he asks, tilting his head slightly even in your grasp to show confusion. he really is just like a little puppy sometimes.

“you know.. about the mind control.”

he shrugs, the most unbothered happy smile on his face, “oh, that’s.. that’s okay, i’m fine with it. i.. already belonged to you.”

“but that was in a more… romantic way. an ‘i belong with you’ kind of way. not the kind i did to you,” you say, just a tinge of guilt holding you back, but you push it aside, “it’s nothing, don’t worry about it. i just.. just know i love you. even when i’m ordering you around.”

“i’ll remember that, ma’am,” he smiles up at you just a little softer, just a little more like his true self, just a little more leon. that heavy feeling of guilt in your gut will never quite go away, will it?

you fall asleep on the couch together, knowing or maybe just hoping you’ll wake up to leon not remembering anything. hopefully he doesn’t piece together that he has no memory of you giving him that hickey and those bruises on his hips were definitely not his job's doing.

—

you wake up to a fond smell of breakfast and a bright morning, sitting up off the couch as you look at your phone. leon’s not laying there next to you, which is odd but not completely uncommon. sometimes he goes out in the morning to work out or disappears in the middle of the night when he’s needed somewhere, but most of the time, and today included, he’s just in the kitchen.

you find him there, standing in front of the coffee pot, and you walk up to him to wrap your arms around his midsection, softly burying your face into his back to shyly hide from his gaze.

“awh, morning lovebug,” his sweet raspy morning voice says to you, a hand on your arms, holding you tight so there’s not even a chance you could let go, “missed ya yesterday. did you sleep alright?”

“...mhm,” you hum, pressing a sweet kiss to his shoulder blade.

it’s a sweet moment, full of love and warmth and tenderness and you could have almost forgotten what you did to leon last night had the smell of coffee not been hanging in the air. but hey, at least he doesn’t remember what really happened, though he’s kind of confused just how he forgot how he got all of these bruises and scratches.

[obsidianpen]

Question: there’s been a lot of talk online and sometimes on your blog about Greyana, they’ve been accused of plagiarism, using AI, and bots.

(Sorry, this isn’t a name and shame on them, nor do I want to put you in the hot seat so you can delete the ask if you don’t want to answer.) ❤️

I was wondering what exactly you knew/heard about the author or if you have any experiences with them? Or if this is just lore floating around in the fandom???

oh no, put me in the hot seat, I’m here for it at this point.

So. I hadn’t heard of greyana until, months ago, some anons on here asked me how I felt about the writer who was allegedly using AI and stealing from my fic, and others, to make their own. I kind of laughed it off then, but then someone sent me the link to Invictus so I checked to see. I read a chapter or so (skipping to when hermione met Tom because that feels like a good measure for a tomione fic) and honestly, I was not impressed. But I also wasn’t sure it was AI, as I know nothing about what AI sounds like. So I just thought, eh, it’s just a bad fanfic, but whatever, to each their own. Moved on. And that may have been the end of it.

however.

I could not escape this fucking fic! I kept seeing it everywhere. Recc’d in these various pockets of the internet. I was in a tomine fb group for a hot minute and i swear a gushing invictus review came up every few days. And every time i thought, am i just lame? Do I not get it? And I’d look at that fic for a minute again and think nope, it’s still not good. Whatever, people can like what they want. Moved on.

however.

I kept hearing shit. Being sent reddit posts where users that were probably bots would praise invictus and compare it to blood and gold and blast my work all in the same sentence. And ugggh did that irk me! You can praise a story without tearing others down! But people usually defended me on Reddit, which was so nice, so I always let it go.

however! it just never ended. I have a TikTok I don’t post on but when I’d get on there it was endless posts about and by greyana. Which, again, fine, people can post what they want. But then one day I changed my username to obsidianpen and I stopped seeing those posts. I thought, how refreshing. But it was because she blocked me. I have never once interacted with her. I’ve never even made a post on TikTok and my account is private. She’s blocked almost every tomione writer. Now why would she do that?

then, most recently, that Reddit post attempting to accuse me of using AI in 2017 lmao. The post was removed but very likely it was greyana.

so, that’s my ‘history’. I’ve never interacted with her and haven’t talked openly about her and her writing until now. Because I am firmly a ‘dont like don’t read’ person. But that’s not what’s happening here. Based on all the evidence (oh - they also posted an ungodly amount of words in a super short time frame apparently, which is also suspicious), greyana is, at best, a super pushy mediocre writer who uses bots and tears down other writers in the fandom. At worst, and which is very likely, she does all the above as well as steals work from others and use AI, then plays the victim when they’re called out.

phew! That was a lot. But there you have it, that’s my experience.

[postazkabansiriussupremacy]

Seven Months. Post Azkaban!Sirius x Reader

After a big fight with her boyfriend, reader sneaks into Grimmauld Place wearing nothing but lingerie underneath a long coat.

AN: I found a reddit story on tiktok where a woman says she went all out to be intimate with her husband, but he kept turning her down and she didn’t know why. And so I got an idea lol

Warnings: Afab reader. Mentions of sex and lingerie. Reader cheating on her bf. No actual sex

You sneak into Grimmauld Place as quietly as possible. You successfully open and close the front door without waking any of the portraits, and you creep downstairs to the kitchen. You steal a bottle of some old whiskey, silently hoping Sirius won’t miss it, and take a long drink straight from the bottle.

The kids are back in school, the Weasley parents have moved back to the burrow, and Remus is scheduled to be guarding Hogwarts tonight. It’s nearly one in the morning and you figure Sirius is asleep, so you hope to be left unbothered.

Not bothering to grab a glass, you sit at the kitchen table to wallow in your own self pity.

As usual, the air of Grimmauld Place is cold. You shiver and pull your coat tighter around your torso, wishing you’d taken the time to put on some more appropriate clothing. After the fight with your boyfriend, you stormed out of your apartment wearing nothing but your lacy undergarments and a long peacoat. The anger has long disappeared, and now you’re left with nothing but a sense of sadness and self deprecation.

Taking another swig from the bottle, you can’t help but wonder if there’s something wrong with you. Is your boyfriend not attracted to you anymore? Have you done something to piss him off? Have you been working too much? Have you been spending too much time away from him?

It’s been nearly seven months since you and your boyfriend have made love, so tonight you tried to make things special. You hoped by spicing things up a little, he’d finally show interest in you again.

While your boyfriend was out getting drinks with his friends, you put in some real effort. You lit candles, turned on some music, dimmed the lighting, and you even laid fucking rose petals on the bed. You (un)dressed yourself into the sexiest, most uncomfortable lingerie you could find, and you waited for him to return home.

The scene was straight out of a romance movie.

Only your boyfriend didn’t seem to care much. He wore a happy, surprised smile and he told you that you looked great, but he said he just isn’t in the mood.

He’s always tired. Or he’s too drunk. Or he doesn’t feel well. Or he’s too stressed. Or just about any excuse he can come up with as to why he doesn’t want to fuck you anymore.

And you cried. You aren’t proud of it, but you yelled at him.

Why aren’t you good enough for him anymore? Why doesn’t he want to be intimate anymore? Is there someone else? Is there something medically wrong with him? Is there something wrong with you?

Your boyfriend denied all of it. Once again, he wouldn’t give you a reason as to why he’s lost all interest in you.

So you left. In the middle of the night after waiting hours for him to get home, wearing nothing but lace and a thong, you grabbed a coat and stormed out of your shared apartment.

Now here you sit, cold and drowning your sorrows in a bottle. After taking another drink, you nearly jump out of your skin as you hear footsteps coming down the stairs.

Sirius appears through the door, eyebrows raised and wand in hand. Once he’s confirmed it’s just you, he stows his wand into his pocket and breathes a quiet laugh. “Ah, it’s you that’s broken into my home. Is everything alright?”

Feeling tense, you subconsciously pull the coat tighter around your waist and try to return his smile. “I’m sorry if I woke you! Everything’s fine; I just—uh—figured I’d be able to sneak in and out without bothering anyone.”

It’s already a bit of a struggle to keep your words clear and concise. You remember skipping dinner this evening, and so the heavy drinks are hitting you quickly. You only hope Sirius doesn’t notice.

But you can’t get that lucky. He quickly notices your bare legs, the opened bottle on the table, and the makeup smeared underneath your eyes makes it clear you’d been crying.

“You’re never a bother.” Sirius says comforting tone, pulling out the chair next to you and having a seat. “Are you hurt?”

“No, I’m fine. Fuck, I’m sorry.” You tell him with a shake of your head, having trouble meeting his eyes. Humiliation swells in your chest, but alcohol causes the words to spill out of your mouth. “I’m fine; I just had a fight with my boyfriend and I didn’t want to be at home any longer.”

Sirius’s eyes never leave you, his interest in you unwavering. In a show of comradery, he takes a small drink from the bottle. He assures, “You’re always welcome here. What’s happened?”

The question makes you laugh a bit. Shaking your head and covering your face with the palms of your hands, you smile through the embarrassment. “Nothing. It’s humiliating.”

This only serves to intrigue Sirius even more. His eyebrows perk up. “That so? The fight was your fault then?”

It feels impossible to discuss your relationship problem with Sirius. He’s probably the most gorgeous man you’ve ever laid eyes on. How are you supposed to casually discuss the fact that your boyfriend hasn’t touched you in months?

It’s humiliating, and yet, you want to talk with someone. The alcohol and strong emotions of the evening make you feel more vulnerable than usual.

Your face not leaving your hands, you shake your head again. “I have no idea. Maybe.”

Sirius smiles at your obvious embarrassment and takes another sip from the bottle. “You’re not giving me much information to go off of, sweetheart.”

Once again, you pull your coat tighter around your waist. You sigh deeply, leaning your elbows on the table and pinching the bridge of your nose. Eyes squeezed shut and a grimace on your face, you speak quickly. “I yelled at him because we haven’t had sex in nearly seven months.”

Sirius is stunned. His silence only proves to embarrass you even more. Cheeks hot and unable to look at him at all, you move to stand up, apologies spewing out of your mouth. “I’m so sorry. I’ll go. I shouldn’t have—”

Sirius stops you by taking hold of your wrist. His tone is one of utter shock. “How does one go seven months without touching you?”

His surprise makes you feel oddly comforted. It makes you feel as if you’re at least a little justified in your actions. You sigh again, placing your hands on your cheeks in hopes of cooling them down. “I don’t know. I just.. This feels so stupid.”

Sirius’s eyes stare you up and down. It’s like he can’t comprehend it. He asks again, “Seven months?”

Lips pursed, you nod and take another drink from the bottle. Feeling more comfortable with your emotions and actions, you calm down and speak more clearly. “Yeah. The last time he turned me down he said he wanted more romance, or spontaneity, or something, so I made tonight kind of a big deal. And he still turned me down. He said he was too tired after hanging out with his friends.”

As you let your guard down and reach for the bottle, Sirius catches a glimpse of what’s hidden behind your coat. He feels his cock twitch in his pants.

Unable to stop himself, he slowly reaches his hand forward to touch the opening of your jacket. You aren’t sure if it’s the alcohol, the surprise of the situation, or if it’s simply the desire to be touched and wanted, but you don’t stop him as he opens your coat to reveal what’s underneath.

“Fucking hell.” Sirius breathes, keeping his eyes firmly locked onto the lingerie set you spent so much time and effort picking out. The set your boyfriend had barely taken a second glance at, Sirius can’t seem to look away from.

If your boyfriend won’t appreciate your efforts, at least someone will.

[jo-harrington]

Corroded Coffin Fest Halloween - Pride

Summary: Jeff goes head to head with his Dungeon Master.

Word Count: 1313

Rating: T

Warnings/Themes: Friendship, humor, angst, typical DnD shenanigans, Dungeon Master and Player dynamics (Eddie is a ruthless DM, but his players are little assholes and he isn't a tyrant).

Check Out the Main Post for @corrodedcoffinfest here! Thank you to @thisapplepielife for organizing another wonderful event for us! I already told them in a DM, this is not only giving me a chance to tickle the old keyboard but read everyone else's work when reading gets to be a challenge between work and writing bigger series. I've set time aside for this. I'm ready! THANK YOU AGAIN.

Also thank you Reddit for giving me some fuel for this because I hate writing combat sequences. The gameplay probably isn't accurate but I don't care. If you see something you know is wrong, no you didn't.

Tagging @the-unforgivenn @1lostsoul0fishbowl upon request.

You can find my masterlist here.

Please do not interact if you are not 18+.

Enjoy!

Friday, October 25th 1985

There wasn't much in life that was as daunting as staring across a table at Eddie Munson while he was DM'ing.

That's not to say that their sessions weren't fun. On the contrary, it was probably the most fun they had in their lives.

But when all of the players fell into one of Eddie's little traps, there was a certain sparkle in his eye that would make their hearts plummet directly into their asses.

Tonight, Jeff was determined not to let it get to him.

It was hard to see any progress in Dungeons and Dragons sometimes, especially when campaigns ran for weeks on end. Not only did you need to advance the plot, but you had to have character growth, not to mention leveling up. Plus, with Eddie's elaborate plots, there were endless clues and red herrings in the gameplay that would make or break future sessions.

Oh, and combat; you never knew if a wrong move would kill you.

That's what they were faced with right now. A dungeon full of adversaries, and a big bad slime monster. Half of their party was down, the rest with barely any hit points left, and morale was low.

So of course Eddie, crouched on his throne, smirked and laughed at each pathetic move they made.

"Back to the top of the cycle," he announced and pointed at Jeff. "You're up."

Jeff stood from his seat and squared his shoulders.

He knew he was a good player, had a great character, and a few tricks up his sleeve. Plus, he had been playing long enough to know how to get a leg up when he needed one.

They could turn this around; they had to.

"Alright," he began and stared at the board with calculating eyes.

He started narrating his series of moves; he crossed a distance to face the slime monster himself, attacked, then used his bonus action to cast Mage Hand and distract the monster by stoking a fire nearby.

The dice gods smiled down at him. All of his friends cheered as every move he made succeeded. Suddenly, they were motivated enough to rally, and Eddie grumbled as they cleared the field of enemies.

Soon, the slime monster was the only one that was left.

And it was Jeff's turn once again.

He smiled unabashedly as he calculated his move; he'd been picking up on some of Eddie's clues all night, and if he was right about one hunch, he could try something a little risky for a big payout.

Was this what Eddie felt like all the time?

"Don't get cocky, kid," Dustin quoted the legendary Han Solo and patted Jeff's shoulder in encouragement.

Jeff then announced his plan, something too simple for his sorcerer, but he knew would work.

"I'm going to try and suplex Slime Boy into that fire over there."

"What?" Everyone shouted, Eddie included.

"Why are you gonna use melee when you're a magic user."

"I've never seen something so stupid in my life."

"I just told you not to get cocky. It was nice knowing you guys."

"You sure you wanna do that Windforger?" Eddie questioned over the chaos.

"Yeah," Jeff nodded. "I'm sure."

"You know what," Eddie shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest. "I'll entertain this. I need an athletics roll. I'll even give you advantage for the...courage.

"But!" he shouted over the din of his friends voices. "I need you to tell me how you envision this is gonna play out first, should you succeed."

Jeff didn't hesitate.

"You've been leading us all along," he began. "Slimey is afraid of fire. He'd pretty much melt in it."

"Then cast fireball!" Mike shouted.

"I just used mage hand for a distraction," Jeff ignored him. "So there's a fire over here. If I can just...grapple him into the fire, he's done for."

His explanation only caused everyone to shout louder, but he got his dice ready, regardless of the protest. He knew he needed something pretty high, but with Eddie giving him advantage and his luck at rolling all night, surely this would pay off.

And he'd be a hero.

"Well wouldn't you know," Eddie's brow jumped in amusement. "Someone was paying attention. Go ahead and roll. What do you need...uh...15 to succeed sound fair? He is slime, after all."

Everyone leaned in to watch with bated breath as Jeff threw his dice onto the table. Time seemed to slow as they rolled and clattered.

"Come on," he muttered and envisioned his roll.

A 15 exactly. A 17 to be safe! Maybe even a Nat 20?

"Come on."

Yeah he would get a Nat 20.

"Come on."

The dice slowed down and then came to a halt.

And then the world came rushing back.

Eddie grimaced theatrically, tsking at his friend all the while, and the others wailed at the sight of two Natural 1's.

"It was a risky move," Eddie offered sympathetically, then his face morphed into a feral grin. "But not one that paid off."

Jeff stood there, frozen, as Eddie narrated the clumsy failure of a grapple and his character falling headfirst into the fire.

Mercifully, it was a night where Jeff's mom decided she'd pick him up from Hellfire.

"Good," he thought as he grabbed his backpack and scurried out of the drama classroom. "Then I don't have to endure Eddie's gloating on the drive home."

He deserved it, though, didn't he? He'd made an absolute fool of himself, could have gotten everyone killed, all because he thought he was a better player than he was.

Once outside, he leaned against the building and tapped his foot impatiently as he waited for the sight of his mom's car. The guys patted his shoulder as they filed out and headed towards Eddie's van, each offering words of comfort that fell on deaf ears.

Eddie was the last one out, and he stopped silently at Jeff's side. He took a moment to light a cigarette, then once the younger boy seemed enough at ease with his presence, he spoke.

"You let your pride get the best of you."

"I know," Jeff grumbled.

"You're not a newbie, Jeffy," Eddie shook his head. "I would've expected a move like that from Wheeler or something."

Jeff stayed silent.

"Come on, you're not gonna laugh as I take cheap shots at Mike?" Eddie scoffed. "Man, you're really taking this harder than I thought."

"It's because I don't screw up like this," Jeff threw his hands out, as if presenting his failure to the world. "I'm the best player in that room. I pay attention, I take notes, I overanalyze about every single word that comes out of your mouth because I know you're out to fuck us all over."

"I do do that," Eddie nodded in agreement. "Don't I?"

"I should've known better," Jeff continued, hanging his head in defeat.

"No, hey," Eddie stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. "Don't say that. It was a risky move and damn, if it had worked, it would've been epic."

"But it didn't."

"That's the whole point of playing though." Eddie shrugged. "You try, you fail. You die. In this case, you're revived and live to see another day. You try again."

"I'm never doing anything as stupid as that ever again though," Jeff huffed.

"Yeah you will," Eddie clenched a fist and punched his chin softly. "And next time, you'll succeed."

Jeff looked up at him nervously, "You think so?"

"Of course I do," Eddie shrugged. "You are one of the best players in Hellfire."

He patted Jeff on the shoulder and then turned to head towards the van. He paused for a second though, and turned to call back to Jeff as he walked backwards.

"I wouldn't have even allowed the freshman to do a dumb move like that!"

[allsadnshit]

hello! feel free to disregard if this is overly personal, but a close friend is getting exploratory surgery for her endo in a few weeks and i am brainstorming different ways i can give tangible support. im planning to cook a few meals and put together a care package, and i was wondering if u had any recs for specific products/natural medicine/meals? your candidness abt your own journey has been really moving to me and i would appreciate some insight! again apologies if it crosses a line and feel free to delete <3

that's so sweet! endo surgery is different for everyone - and also really taxing because you don't know what's gonna happen till they are in there (like if a lots gonna be cut out, if they don't find anything, etc)

I think meals is a 10/10 to have ready. Cooking is hard and nourishing food after surgery is soooo important! bone broths, herbal teas, congee, and things easy to digest and get the system back in flow.

My essentials were: cramp cream from the brand getsomedays (I hate their social media marketing and I think they post a lot of dumb stuff, but the cramp cream is their best product and I haven't found anything that works better), a heating pad, a meal tray with a soft bottom for eating in bed, maybe comfy slippers, SOMEONE WASH AND DRY THEIR SHEETS BEFORE SURGERY SO THE BED FEELS CLEAN AND GOOD, aaaaaand if they are offered opioids...which they likely will be....I HIGHLY recommend NOT taking them and opting for the other pain meds that are less addictive.

also if they are suggested birth controls or IUD after finding endo and they arent already on them - PLEAAAASE let them know there are OTHER options that won't destroy their body and hormones...Chinese medicine, holistic medicine (brands like Elix healing or root + bones), physical therapy for tightness and muscle strain...like literally anything else!!!!!!! and if they decide to take the birth control please make sure they look into the user experiences on reddit. Mine gave me such crazy heart palpitations I thought I was going insane or dying!

GOOD LUCK <33333 tell them recovery is a slow burn not a race