#i won't have the coffee i guess

[scienceoftheidiot]

Should I jeopardize today and tomorrow by drinking coffee right now because I crave the taste and I need the instant boost but the boost has 70% chances to happen AND a 50 to 80 % chances to make me fall asleep in the very near future and then stop me from sleeping tonight ?

Or not ?

[maudiemoods]

I knew the nurse on the helpline was gonna tell me to stop drinking coffee but once she actually said it it became real and now I'm sad

[this-machine-runs-on-coffee]

"SHINE A LIGHT (REPRISE)" THIS IS NOT AN EXACT TRANSLATION, THIS IS AN ADAPTATION (AND ONE THAT STILL NEEDS TONS OF FIXING AT THAT)

I scheduled this for the future lol. Scheduled this on the 23/05/24 for the date in which this will come out Because now it's decent but I still don't like it (but at least you guys won't be starved of my content for too long [not like it would be that big of a deal but if there was someone irl cheering me on for doing this and I said I'd do it I would give them something I did in the past but haven't yet showed them during a time in which I can't produce more of that content]) So anyway you guys, here you have "Shine A Light (Reprise)" in Italian! ASK ME FOR PERMISSION BEFORE USING THIS, DO CREDIT ME IF YOU EVER USE THIS (I doubt you will it’s impractical and still needs so much fixing it’s unbelievable) AND TELL ME/LINK WHATEVER YOU USED IT FOR USING REBLOGS (because for some reason Tumblr doesn’t like comments with links and while I do think I understand why I don’t always like it)

(the apostrophes [or however ’ is called] are used to shorten the number of syllables often in poetry so I’m obviously abusing that power.)

[HEATHER MCNAMARA:] Stupidi tappi impossibili!

[HEATHER DUKE:] Oh guarda, Heather se ne va'a

[HEATHER DUKE & COMPANY:] Fri-hignar tutta notte!

[HEATHER DUKE:] Non meriti di vivere!

[HEATHER DUKE & COMPANY:] Perché non ucciderti?

[HEATHER DUKE:] Eccoti un sedativo

[HEATHER & COMPANY:] Fri-hi-higna!

[HEATHER DUKE:] * Perché Babbo Natale non c'è (uee-uee)

[HEATHER DUKE & COMPANY:] Sei patetica perché frigni!

[HEATHER DUKE:] Frigni tutta notte!

[HEATHER DUKE:] (Frigna) Dalla squadra te ne devi andare (Frigna) Lamentati e piagnucola (Frigna) Non meriti di sognare (Frigna) Tu morirai da sola!

[HEATHER DUKE & COMPANY:] Muori sola! Muori sola! Muori sola! MUORI SOLA! So, direct translation! (used in this to specify the meanings and explain certain word choices [and in one case this])

[HEATHER MCNAMARA:] Stupid impossible (implied to open) caps!

[HEATHER DUKE:] Aww look, Heather's going to

[HEATHER DUKE & COMPANY:] Whi-hine all night!

[HEATHER DUKE:] You don't deserve to live!

[HEATHER DUKE & COMPANY:] Why not kill yourself!

[HEATHER DUKE:] Here's to you a sedative

[HEATHER & COMPANY:] Whi-hi-hine!

[HEATHER DUKE:] Because there's no Santa Claus (uee-uee [in this case we're using this parenthesis for the explanations: so, uee-uee are the letters used to mimick crying in Italian, I don't remember the name of the poetic thing now, I think onomathopea? I'm unsure if it's even written right])

[HEATHER DUKE & COMPANY:] You're pathetic because you whine!

[HEATHER DUKE:] You whine all night!

[HEATHER DUKE:] (Whine) Go awayfrom the team (Whine) Whine (but as in moan about it) and whine (but as in cry but mockingly) (Whine) You don't deserve to dream (Whine) You're gonna die alone

[HEATHER DUKE & COMPANY:] Die alone! Die alone! Die alone! DIE ALONE! OG LYRICS (if you’re seeing this I doubt you don’t know them, but here they are anyway):

[HEATHER MCNAMARA:] Stupid child proof caps!

[HEATHER DUKE:] Aww look, Heather's going to

[HEATHER DUKE & COMPANY:] Whine, whine, whine all night!

[HEATHER DUKE:] You don't deserve to live!

[HEATHER DUKE & COMPANY:] Why not kill yourself!

[HEATHER DUKE:] Here have a sedative

[HEATHER & COMPANY:] Whine, whine, whine!

[HEATHER DUKE:] Like there's no Santa Claus (boo-hoo)

[HEATHER DUKE & COMPANY:] You're pathetic because you whine!

[HEATHER DUKE:] You whine all night!

[HEATHER DUKE:] (Whine) Your ass is off the team (Whine) Go on and bitch and moan (Whine) You don't deserve to dream (Whine) You're gonna die alone

[HEATHER DUKE & COMPANY:] Die alone! Die alone! Die alone! DIE ALONE!

[averlym]

May I please request some soft parrlyn please

morning vs night gfs

[sysig]

Dangerously frightened ft. a sorta redraw (Patreon)

[limbel]

.

[heartshattering]

Today is an IBS flare day and I'm regretting all of my life decisions

[chaoswillcalmusdown]

my period ended a week ago and somehow i've woken up to pain and what seems like....... another period

[supercantaloupe]

argh...i got invited to a dinner party on 9/16. i don't know if i should decline because of rosh hashannah or not

[arctic-hands]

Is eating only applesauce a perhaps overly sweet and not very nutrient-dense meal? Yes. Is it better than not eating anything, which was my original plan for the day until I could run to the grocery store after running around town? Also yes

[scienceoftheidiot]

Do you want:

Puncture wounds? Burns from melting tin? Chemical burns? Fingers glued together?

Start doing reenactment now 🙃

But eh. The 1914 Dragoon trumpeteer uniform is finished !! We glued and welted broken parts and gave the helmet back its original form. (I'm just lacking white gloves but dhsjshshshd. I'll look for fancy horse riding gloves. They don't make leather reproductions in my size 🙃)

The red mane is what differentiates the trumpeteer's helmet from the rest of the dragoons, for whom it's black. And people often tell us this looks like Napoleonic era but the French army at the beginning of WW1 were like that for real. And on horseback.

Wanna play? Guess what's the use of the mane, except for looking awesome 😎

[advisorsage]

Well, I'm mad. Like I dressed nice (read: wore a bra, clean undergarments) for this, and it went horribly. I'd be mad at God but I don't worship him and this is just the kind of prank the deity I worship would pull, but I haven't traded my luck for anything recently so he shouldn't be doing this; so I think I'll just be mad at the organizer of the group I was supposed to go to.

[gorkaya-trava]

hazelnut milk latte🤢

[starchild--27]

_

[incognit0slut]

Hypothetically

Chronically single, you suggest a pact with your best friend to start a family together when you turn forty.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x bau fem reader

Category: fluff/comfort

Warnings: marriage and baby talk, reader is insecure because she feels left out

A/n: This is my entry for the kid fic challenge by @imagining-in-the-margins! This was like a breath of fresh air from all the smut I’ve been writing

"Do you want to have a baby with me?"

The scalding coffee burned his tongue as your question lingered in the air. Spencer cleared his throat awkwardly and patted his chest, his eyes drifting towards you. "Uh... what?"

"Hypothetically," you replied, the tap of your pen echoing against the round table between you. "It's like a pact. If we're both still single in the future, we get married to one another and, well, start a family together."

Spencer felt the clamminess of his palms as he set his mug down, trying to steady himself. He considered you as one of the closest people in his life, if not his best friend, and he was accustomed to your random questions, but this sudden topic of conversation seemed to strike a nerve.

"Where..." he began, wiping his palm along his pants. "...where is this coming from?"

You shrugged casually, the tapping of your pen momentarily ceasing. "Just a thought. I mean, we're both at that age where these things start to cross our minds, right?"

Spencer swallowed, trying to push down the unease rising in his chest. "Yeah, I guess so," he muttered, but as he studied you, he noticed the tension in your shoulders. "Are you okay?"

Your gaze flickered away for a moment before you sighed, slumping against your chair.

"I have a wedding coming up this weekend." Spencer frowned, not understanding what you were trying to say. You continued, "And another one next week, and guess what? Two of my cousins are getting married next month."

"What does that have to do with...?" His voice trailed off as realization dawned on him. "Ah, I see."

But you weren't finished. Somehow, the thoughts that had lingered in your mind for the past few days spilled out right then and there, in the middle of broad daylight when you were supposed to be focusing on the case you were working on.

"And a close friend I went to high school with just gave birth while another friend from college announced she's two months pregnant. And look at me," you exclaimed, your arms flying around. "No wedding. No pregnancy. Spencer, I don't even have a boyfriend, heck, I forgot what it's like to go out on a date!"

He watched as your brow furrowed into a frown, and although your demeanor was all over the place, he couldn't help but notice how you still managed to look pretty.

"Spence?" You asked, nudging his leg with your foot under the table. "Are you listening to me?"

He blinked, momentarily pulled from his thoughts by your voice. "Sorry," he replied. "I'm listening."

You gave him a skeptical look, but the tension in your shoulders seemed to ease slightly as you leaned back in your chair.

"I just... I don't know, I feel like I'm left behind." You sighed, running a hand through your hair. "I mean, I'm happy for my friends and all, but sometimes it feels like everyone's moving forward but me. Like I'm stuck in this... this rut."

Spencer wasn't sure how to respond. On one hand, he knew how it felt to want something that seemed out of reach, but on the other hand, he felt like it wasn't his place to offer advice when he wasn't even sure what the future held for him.

"I get it," he finally said, trying to gather his thoughts. The least he could do was try to offer some comfort. "But just because you haven't reached those milestones yet doesn't mean you won't get there eventually."

"But what if it doesn't happen? What if I'm still all alone and nobody loves me when I'm gray and old?"

He frowned at you. "I'd still love you when you're gray and old."

"Platonically. You love me as much as you love JJ. Or Emily. Or Penny, or even Morgan." You leaned over the table. "I want to be loved passionately by someone who is head over heels for me, who can't imagine a life without me. I want to feel that kind of happiness."

His frown deepened. "I don't think you should find happiness in another person."

"You're missing the point," you groaned, crossing your arms. "I'm not saying I want to depend on someone else for my happiness. But is it too much to ask for someone to share it with? To feel like I'm someone's everything and not just another friend in the group?"

His expression softened as he listened, a sense of familiarity washing over him. He remembered feeling the same thing once, or maybe more than once; he wasn't sure. He had lost count of the times he felt his life was falling short.

But he realized the more he thought about the why—why was he so different? why couldn't he find love?—the more he felt worthless, and he hated that. So what was the best thing he did to ignore those thoughts?

Bury himself in work, because to him, pushing those feelings aside was easier than confronting them. But now, as he looked at you, it felt like he was seeing his own reflection and your words hit him harder than he expected.

"No," he quietly agreed. "It's not too much to ask for."

"I guess what I'm trying to say is... I'm tired of waiting for life to happen to me." Your gaze slowly met his. "So I came up with a plan."

His throat felt dry as he recalled how this conversation started in the first place. "The... baby plan?"

You nodded enthusiastically, sliding into the seat next to him.

"Think about it. If we're both still single when we're..." You paused, furrowing your brow as you did a quick calculation. "Forty? Yeah, let's say we're both still single when we're forty, with no partners, or like, no friends with benefits?"

You shook your head.

“Just... with no one in our lives—we get married. You and me."

He blinked, trying to process your proposal. It was unexpected, to say the least, but there was a strange logic to it that he couldn't quite shake. The idea of marrying his best friend as a backup plan was both absurd and oddly comforting.

"But what about... love?" he asked cautiously. "Wasn't that what you wanted?"

You paused, considering his question before responding. "I mean, I don't think it's impossible," you said, leaning back in your seat. "Haven't you ever heard of the saying, 'Marry your best friend'?"

His gaze lingered on you, his heart beating hard against his chest. "You're saying that we can fall in love?"

Your eyes met his, and a small smile tugged at the corners of your lips. "Who knows?" you replied softly. "Stranger things have happened."

Spencer shouldn't entertain the possibility. After all, who knew what could happen in the future? It seemed like an absurd thought, but as he stared at you, it was hard not to imagine a life with you as his wife.

He imagined you in a white dress, walking down the aisle towards him with a radiant smile on your face. He pictured you both in the house you had just bought, dancing joyfully around the empty rooms as you unpacked boxes together.

Then thoughts of you being pregnant with his child—or maybe even children—filled his mind, and he envisioned a future where your kids would run around in the backyard with a pet dog trailing behind.

And then he considered the prospect of growing old with you, watching as your children eventually started families of their own while you found comfort in each other's company. All of these possibilities didn't seem so bad, because if anyone could understand him on a deep level, it was definitely you.

Maybe this crazy plan of yours wasn't so crazy after all.

"I... I guess it's not impossible," he finally admitted. Then, not wanting to seem too eager, he added, "Hypothetically speaking."

"Of course," you replied with a smile. "Hypothetically speaking."

Suddenly feeling flustered by your gaze, Spencer looked away and focused on his coffee, bringing the mug to his lips. Then you heard laughter and footsteps drawing closer, and soon Derek and Emily entered the room. Their eyes immediately landed on the two of you, sitting closely together at the table.

"What are you children whispering about?" Derek's voice interrupted, his eyebrows raised curiously as he glanced between you.

You didn't miss a beat. “Spencer and I are having a baby together."

Spencer choked on his coffee, his eyes widening in shock as he coughed and sputtered. You quickly moved to pat his back.

"Well, we're gonna get married first, right, Spence?" you added with a grin, glancing at him expectantly.

Spencer finally managed to regain his composure, clearing his throat awkwardly as he shot you a sideways glance. "Um, yeah, of course," he stammered, his cheeks still tinged with embarrassment. "Hypothetically."

Derek and Emily exchanged bemused glances, a silent conversation passing between them. Emily's curiosity seemed to win out as she lifted a hand, turning her attention back to you. "Care to explain?"

"We were discussing our backup plan."

"Backup plan?" Derek echoed. 

"Yeah," you replied with a nod. "In case neither of us finds the right person by the time we're, oh, I don't know, forty or so, we figured we'd marry each other and start a family."

Derek placed a hand over his chest, feigning hurt. "And you chose Pretty Boy over me?"

"I'm not going to compete with all your lady friends," you shot back, rising from your seat. "Come on, Spence, let's grab some lunch and brainstorm baby names."

He stood up, giving you a pointed look.

"Or do you want to discuss how we'd make those babies in the future?"

"Well, I was thinking of Amelia if it's a girl..."

You grinned, linking your arm through his before guiding him towards the door. Derek and Emily observed the natural closeness between you two, how you were practically clinging to him and how he seemed to be comfortable with it.

Derek turned to Emily as you disappeared down the hallway. "Do you think they'd actually get married when they hit forty?"

Emily shook her head. "Nope," she replied confidently. "I give it a year until he's already down on one knee."

He laughed, nodding in agreement. With the way Spencer's gaze lingered on you with unmistakable affection, it seemed like it was only a matter of time.

[intheticklecloset]

coffee shop menu update

I've added an "Orders Received" counter to my Coffee Shop Menu so y'all know how many I have hanging out in my ask box that I just haven't gotten to yet. Right now there's only one, and I'm happy to take more! <3