#i wish those people nothing but the best in life
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
💯 [100] How many words does your WIP currently have? How many words do you hope it’ll have when it’s done? 2.3K+ now, and whatever happens, that happens.
⌛️ [Hourglass] How long have you been working on this WIP? 3 days.
📚 [Books] Is this WIP part of a series or standalone? AU location (starts as) and aged-up characters.
🎀 [Bow] How many named characters are in this WIP? How many do get a POV? OTP only. Even as 3rd person's point of view there's little of point of view at all (as thoughts or just about a person alone.)
💖 [Heart] What is your favorite moment in this WIP? OTP talk & do things together.
🎶 [Notes] Do you have any other WIP related things, like moodboards, character portraits, playlists or similar? It can happen in 0.001% of cases (if, then fanfictions only.)
📖 [Open Book] What form do you want this WIP to take when it’s done? Posted, printed, published, etc? Posted only.
🐀 [Rat] Name three reasons why this WIP is great at being insert genre here. (You can send a genre, or let the recipient pick one.) Romance, as it's about a lot of love (as in every fanfiction about them.)
🐁[Mouse] Name three reasons why this WIP is horrible at being insert genre here. (You can send a genre, or let the recipient pick one.) Humour. Unfortunately, no funny moments.
🔎 [Magnifier] Is there a phrase/word you know you use too often? Will you change it in editing? So (for years.) If exaggerate, the answer is, so what? So to be it. | Whenever possible, I try to find other way to glue parts of looong sentences and not to break them into shorter ones. The writer of the original version had looong sentences as well and paragraphs can seem almost endless in many cases.
🍖 [Meat] How many fictional people were harmed in the making of this WIP? EVERY SINGLE of my fanfictions & original stories has happy end (unless past when I wanted to write about harm done to or defeat of a bad or unpleasant character.) In the case of latest WIP fanfiction: deep sadness of both, character 2: wish to cry before relief, no harm.
🌈 [Rainbow] If at the beginning of your WIP the characters knew about the end, would they kill you to stop you from writing it? They would look forward to a plot twist (mostly character 2, as character 1 had an idea.)
🎨 [Palette] If your WIP was a color, which color would it be? Rainbow, as they deserve.
🍩 [Donut] What’s the weirdest thing someone eats in your WIP? What’s the best thing? No food or drinks are mentioned (yet?)
🔒 [Lock] Would you let your family, friends, or other people you know in real life read your WIP? No, and I almost don't know people in real life. Yes, I'm so called "live under a rock."
🖋️ [Pen] Describe your WIP in a single, terrible sentence. At first, the two are icebergs, but very, very soon, nothing is under water . . . (They talk about character 1 as having an iceberg, so . . .) . . . positive plot twist, philosophical discussion, something else unexpected (positive again.) (Note: something else is before plot twist, though. | I've had to search for answers to at least understand how such description can be possible.)
❌ [Cross] What would your WIP get cancelled on Twitter for? What does it mean even? If as not accepted, one of important parts is gender non-conformity. Those who are against girls & women who don't look feminine can be highly displeased. BUT what can I say, the version the fanfiction is based on has scenes with character 2 in man's shirt. So yes, haters can hate as long as they want.
UPDATE a day after: I've had an idea (chapter 2, not one-shot as it was planned initially) which is the reason to "get cancelled on Twitter," but I don't care. The idea supposed to be a part of some future fanfiction (no matter which, but based on the modern version of the story,) but the wish to add this to the current one was too strong, so it will be here :D The first chapter discussed above has two plot twists, but this idea is an enormous plot twist. Second plot twist & new one will result in (in my opinion, at least) it's too good to be true | unrealistic, but I don't care. I want this to exist, so it will.
Random WIP Ask Game
💯 [100] How many words does your WIP currently have? How many words do you hope it'll have when it's done?
⌛️ [Hourglass] How long have you been working on this WIP?
📚 [Books] Is this WIP part of a series or standalone?
🎀 [Bow] How many named characters are in this WIP? How many do get a POV?
💖 [Heart] What is your favorite moment in this WIP?
🎶 [Notes] Do you have any other WIP related things, like moodboards, character portraits, playlists or similar?
📖 [Open Book] What form do you want this WIP to take when it's done? Posted, printed, published, etc?
🐀 [Rat] Name three reasons why this WIP is great at being insert genre here. (You can send a genre, or let the recipient pick one.)
🐁[Mouse] Name three reasons why this WIP is horrible at being insert genre here. (You can send a genre, or let the recipient pick one.)
🔎 [Magnifier] Is there a phrase/word you know you use too often? Will you change it in editing?
🍖 [Meat] How many fictional people were harmed in the making of this WIP?
🌈 [Rainbow] If at the beginning of your WIP the characters knew about the end, would they kill you to stop you from writing it?
🎨 [Palette] If your WIP was a color, which color would it be?
🍩 [Donut] What's the weirdest thing someone eats in your WIP? What's the best thing?
🔒 [Lock] Would you let your family, friends, or other people you know in real life read your WIP?
🖋️ [Pen] Describe your WIP in a single, terrible sentence.
❌ [Cross] What would your WIP get cancelled on Twitter for?
#I'll try to do this for every fanfiction or chapter started (in the future) & related to this blog#fanfictions#WIP#Sylvia und Sybille#SySy#any chance for anything related to THEM in typed form (for me to think and to type) is very welcome#Fiction is harder than non fiction (unless it's detailed literary criticism.)#To express my opinion & to read between lines (most of the time) is yes but How is it written? (quality) then no.#Give me parameters to look for. Yes a humanities person who thinks about literature from scientific point of view.
2K notes
·
View notes
Note
HEAR ME OUT!!!! se-mi with comphet reader (angst) 😈😈😈
✧₊⁺ you'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling
se-mi x fem!reader
✦ synopsis: you're so used to this perfect life. your career and your boyfriend. and it's miserable but is comfortable as it can be. until you met her, and now you'll have to spend the rest of your life waking up to be nothing more than his girlfriend, thinking about her saying "i told you so".
content: angst, comphet! reader, se-mi falls for thano's 'straight' girlfriend
authors note: thank you for the request! clearly inspired by good luck babe by chappell roan because i love to suffer jsjdfkfkj, i hope you like it! im sorry ive been posting more short stuff, the week is vvv rough on me with work but ill do everything i can to not stop posting! even if its a small work
✧₊⁺ your boyfriend was acting weird. i mean, he's a man. the first thing that came to mind was 'he's cheating'
✧₊⁺ if the bastard was cheating you would kill him. it was enough that he used both of your savings to place them in bitcoin, and of course.. lost it all.
✧₊⁺ and you forgave him about that (kinda) but cheating? yeah no. you didn't wanted to be like one of those actresses with a cheating boyfriend everyone knew about.
✧₊⁺ so when you decided to follow him a random night and a man invited you to play a game, you were all against it.
✧₊⁺ you were a prestigious actress for god's sakes.
✧₊⁺ "oh. i thought you wanted to know where your boyfriend was heading?"
your eyes widen. what was this? some hooker shit? a betting house?
fine. you needed to find out where he is.
✧₊⁺ of course you ended joining the game to see where your boyfriend was. you dumbass.
✧₊⁺ waking up in a room full of strangers, was sure an.. experience.
✧₊⁺ confused, you stood up. where was your stupid boyfriend and why was he here?
✧₊⁺ "thanos?" i called him, scared. "baby?"
✧₊⁺ as you saw a group of people gathering around a very familiar voice, your fear turned into anger. you ran, pushing everyone sorrounding him.
✧₊⁺ "are you kidding me? this is where you got in? you fucking idiot" i hit his arm as he stared wide eyed at me.
"b-baby what are you doing here?" he chuckled nervous. "you should go home, this is not safe-"
"i wish! but you know, i was following you thinking you were cheating but what the fuck is this? did you lost more money? why are you here-"
"well, i came to win back the money we lost, dont worry baby. when i win this we'll be free!"
i can't believe this.
✧₊⁺ as you turned around to fumble alone, a girl touched your shoulder.
"oh my god, you're the actress on my favorite tv show! can i get a picture"
oh god. here too?
with the best fake smile, you nodded, and suddenly, the same crowd that was sorrounding thanos was now admiring you.
✧₊⁺ there was no doubt that after the first game you wanted to kill him.
"we die!? you brought us to a place where we fucking die if we dont pass the games!?" i screamed at him
"chill baby... youre making a scene. remember that people are watching"
"well, who cares? theyre probably going to die in like two days! just like us you idiot"
✧₊⁺ but just like that you kept playing with your... lovely boyfriend. and his new best friend apparently. god you needed a girl in here. you missed your girlfriends.
so indeed, your boyfriend got you a girl.
✧₊⁺ "i got you a friend so you can stop being... so angry all the time. enjoy life babe, this is a one time experience"
the second game was about to start, we needed two people more in our group.
i was about to punch him as i looked at her.
oh.
✧₊⁺ "hi..i'm-" hello? why was my brain shutting down?
"i know. i think everyone here knows apparently" she plays with her piercing lip, smiling.
✧₊⁺ that made you so nervous???? she got you smiling and twirling your hair??
oh you haven't felt like this in.. so long.
✧₊⁺ so yeah, with every game and her being the only girl (besides you) in the group, you two got close.
like.. way too close.
✧₊⁺ holding hands, protecting eachother, laughing together. you spent more time with her than with your own boyfriend.
✧₊⁺ in your defense, every single minute with her felt... like something you never experienced with him.
✧₊⁺ "why are you still with thanos if you think he's stupid?" she said, rolling her eyes and manspreading besides me, while i kept complaining about my boyfriend.
"he's nice.. he really is"
"you hate him, i dont think is normal to hate your boyfriend you know?"
✧₊⁺ you knew. but what else can you do?
you told her. she knew all abouth how your parents raise you to be this perfect actress, with her perfect husband.
and you already let them down with the 'perfect husband'. you can't disappoint them again.
✧₊⁺ so when her touch made you sigh, when she caressed your hair as you stared into her eyes, when she held your hand to feel you close in every game, trying to protect you more than your boyfriend ever did, or when she whispered sweet nothing's to your ear, making you shiver, all you could do was ignore it.
✧₊⁺ of course, when she realized that it was stupid and you weren't actually going to leave your boyfriend and your perfect life for her, she gave up, looking for something (or someone) that could make her feel better.
✧₊⁺ please, she was hot. she didn't need you.
✧₊⁺ she would never admit that in every girl she kissed after that, she was picturing you.
the way she would be biting your soft pouty lips, how she'd show you your boyfriend was nothing against her. she'd kiss you until you were out of breath, her hands roaming through your body, grabbing your waist, your hips.
she bit her lip as she kept picturing your hands wrapped around her neck, going down her back up and down.
✧₊⁺ she was so down bad it was making her stupid.
she had to do something about this stupid.. crush.
✧₊⁺ so was it a surprise when you found her making out with a random girl in the bathroom? not really.
but was it a surprise when she stared right to your eyes while she did it? i mean.. a little.
✧₊⁺ you scoffed, washing your hands.
"that's disgusting. there are bathroom stalls for that" i said to both.
as the girl turned around, se-mi asked her to leave, saying that 'she'd take care of her later'. ew.
✧₊⁺ she turned around, pissed. yeah, maybe you can get in her head for hours and hours, but ruining her makeout session? you were out of limit.
✧₊⁺ "listen princess-"
"don't call me princess after you made out with a random " i mumble, bitter. "and don't scream at me pretending like you hate me"
her eyes filled with anger.
"listen to me, you can fake being this perfect actress with your boyfriend and everyone else" she said, pushing me against the wall, one of her arms on top of my head, trapping me there. "but not with me. you think i dont see your little lustful eyes? the way you stare at me how i bet you never stared at your boyfriend?"
"b-bullsh-"
"yeah. whatever" she scoffed. "lie to yourself if you want, go fuck the entire common room to prove yourself that you're this pretty straight princess that your parents want you to be, but don't play with me" with every word she said, she got closer to me. our heated bodies breathing almost in sync.
"tell me im lying princess. tell me that if i" she grabbed my chin, softly caressing her lips with mine. my body shivering as my hand grabs her bicep, my nails clawing there, leaving 'c' marks, to ground myself. "do this, you dont feel a thing. c'mon. stop me, pretty girl. tell me you shouldn't" she whispered against my mouth.
✧₊⁺ but the truth is that you couldn't move. you couldn't back away, but you couldn't do this to thanos, to your parents. it wasn't fair.
dad? he had all the contacts he wanted. he would destroy your career in seconds. mom? would never let you step your own house again. oh and your boyfriend? would clearly ruin you on the internet. probably leaking everything about you in seconds. your own fans? people are not as open as we expect them to be.
you can't do this. you can't let yourself have this.
✧₊⁺ "im sorry se-mi" a tear fell, almost wetting her face too because of how close we were.
her eyes shut close. she mumbled something under her breath as she quickly stepped away, breaking whatever moment we had going in.
"i dont want you close to me again" she said, turning to leave as i rushed to follow.
"please, a-at least let me have you as a friend se-mi please" i begged her. tears couldn't stop falling to my cheeks.
"i can't" she said, turning to face me. her eyes roaming my features with a hint of guilt and sadness. "how can i be your friend when i'm so.." she stops, pressing her lips together. "i-i picture you in every girl i kiss. i can't be your friend.
i bit my lip as i hug her. she stiffens but slowly lets herself go, hugging me back. her hand on my hair, softly caressing it for comfort.
"if we get out of here and.. you decide that you're done being his perfect wife, and maybe you want to be happy..with me..i'll be waiting. i promise" she whispers in my ear, kissing my temple.
✧₊⁺ so it goes. after the next game, the nerves make everyone vote to leave and just like that you're actually out.
✧₊⁺ and althought you don't hear from her, you know she's still friends with your boyfriend.
and although she doesn't hear from you, she follows your life like she did. watching every episode of every single show you're in, following you on social media.
and although you guys never cross paths again, if you or your boyfriend ever invite her to 'the wedding', she will throw that invitation to the trash, where it belongs.
✧₊⁺ you miss her every night. mostly, when you wake up feeling cold against the person that's supposed to be your future. you're sure you love her.
and she misses you too. and she knows she loves you. that's why she never tries to contact you again.
✧₊⁺ because she loves watching you smile. even if its not because of her.
#player 380#player 380 x reader#se mi x reader#se mi#se-mi#se-mi x reader#squid game 2#squid game#se mi squid game#lesbian#wlw#angst
144 notes
·
View notes
Text
a couple of people have asked for a carlos POV of in theory and actually. thinking about it. it's pretty funny. imagine being carlos, carlos who gets everything in his life he's ever wanted carlos, carlos who feels he has nothing further to prove to anyone carlos (this is a lie btw), carlos who gets saddled with OSCAR, who barely tolerates him, as an executive assistant.
oscar who shows few emotions. doesn't give a f about seniority. thinks carlos is incredibly arrogant (he's not wrong here but, like recognises like.) oscar who knows carlos can't even do his own expenses without having an emotional support espresso or spending half an hour whining to oscar even though he did it himself years before oscar even joined, etc etc.
and carlos has to. endure it. while oscar blatantly ignores his charm offensive and his attempts at being jovial and his bad bilingual puns and carlos, because everyone usually loves carlos, and he-- he just. he cannot for the life of him figure out why he's also so compelled by this australian dude. doesn't know what to do with himself. just keeps interactions to a transactional minimum and puts up a front like he is soooo curt and uncaring about everything but. the warmth seeps through anyway, a vine that's destined to grow despite his attempts not to let it.
so what, if carlos lies awake in bed with racing thoughts too late at night thinking of revenues and EBITDA and platinum tiers and air miles. so what, if this sometimes bleeds into thoughts regarding his work-life balance or lack thereof, and therefore, oscar's stupid little hair swoop, his frown. his insane excel sheet formulas that even carlos, MBA graduate, takes a second to understand. oscar and his indifference and his scary efficiency and the way he talks a bit too fast when he's tipsy and his ice cold hands.
(at the christmas party with yuki. carlos pretends not to listen but hears every word. why would oscar tell yuki all that, and not him, when he’s tried to ask about oscar's interests before? anyway.)
and then. the christmas gifts happen and carlos thinks he's crossed a line. was the terrarium too far, he wonders. normally people love it when carlos is thoughtful like that. his exes even said so. but no! oscar takes the terrarium, the one carlos made a specific detour for on an airline that he couldn't even get miles on!
and oscar just. stares, and stares at the terrarium. then he gives carlos this...look. and it gets embarrassingly intimate and carlos "really does have to go take his call" even though the client did say it is fine to switch to email because, christmas. yeah. and then he's thinking about it the whole way back to madrid too.
then oscar QUITS on CHRISTMAS DAY (rude) for no explainable reason and carlos is like oh my god is it really ME. how can anybody not like ME ? reddit, AITA???
so carlos mulls on it. carlos wants to atone. just maybe. set things straight. let oscar know that. actually. all feelings aside, he was really an excellent EA and carlos wishes him the best with everything. he maybe sends a text to thank him with those very words. but christmas eve comes and goes, and so does christmas day, and there's no reply at all from oscar. what the hell, carlos thinks. no i can't have him leave and there's so much in my email that i – i didn't even say. he just. needs to let oscar know that he appreciated it.
(he doesn't know what "it" is per se. just that. he feels strongly. so he needs to do something about that.)
soooooo then carlos, who values for family more than anything in the world, spends christmas day just only half paying attention to things going on and thinking jesus, what did i do. and his sisters are like, hermano, please just. get it together and sort this out if you care so much. we'll be fine with mamá and papá and piñón okay there's roast ham for days. and his ma is like: "if you are visiting someone at least pack some dessert. where are your manners". and carlos is like "what". and his mum is like: "did i not teach you anything at all. are you or are you not a sainz". so carlos just takes his tiramisu and his sister's teasing and. he goes. might even try to pull a favour from a client to use a private jet and get there in time.
he flies back to the city in a fit of possible stupidity to try and clarify... his feelings for oscar his professional record and integrity.
and then. oscar is. actually HAPPY he is there.
(carlos knows he's happy, not because oscar's face changes. but because oscar puts his actual plant shears down in order to talk to him. which in oscar-world is a very big deal really. before, oscar always used to look like he wanted to stab carlos with a pen when carlos spoke to him. and if carlos were truly honest with himself, and hindsight being 50/50, well– he'd say that actually, the times oscar looked like he wanted to stab him were actually some of the moments he felt most alive.)
and the rest is... well.
you know how it ends.
#carcar#so. confession: i wasn't actually sure about carlos's POV for this fic at all. tho i knew he was an active participant obviously#and to be honest i went with oscar's POV for efficiency since i was working towards finishing it by the 31st#but this might just be the bones of it.#also i have not ever written carlos's POV before 👀 so this is a first!!#will i write this snippet out in full? idk? maybe not? but. here you go for now for like the 2 or 3 people who were interested#[in theory] fic#i typed this while procrastinating at work and somehow it's now... 900 words
71 notes
·
View notes
Text
Thank you for tolerating me at my worst....
We all have our stories and trauma we drag with us. My goal was to show my healing journey and the positive sides of being a "little"
I've been through some insane events this last year, to the point of psychosis.
Luckily, i had this community to help me through it.
Thank you all so much. I can't express how your words and intentions helped me when I felt completely alone and lost within my own mind and body.
I couldn't tell what was real and I felt like the walls around me were closing in and I was the literal joke of the world. It broke me in ways I may never fully recover from.
I'm more than grateful, and I'll share my life with you all to the best of my abilities.
I'm going to embrace my little side more now than ever before without losing my independence. Life is messy, and being innocence brings me an inner peace that nothing can compete with.
I've spoken with so many of you, and i lose track of who I'm messaging, so please don't take it personally. Tumblr has a terrible setup if you have more than 99 messages. It's both a blessing and a curse. Im only one person after all... and I dont like the idea of liking one human over another. Mainly because how I was neglected as a child. I just want things to be as fair as possible.
I care about knowing who I'm messaging so be patient with me. I've met many followers and I like to give everyone a chance, no matter your imperfections or insecurities .. trust me. I'm full of them too. Just know I'm literally not for everyone and that something that kills me sometimes but its life. We all want what we cannot have.
I just wanted to share my thoughts..
I'm not trying to be super serious, but its good to ground ourselves in reality once in a while.
I wish you all the best year yet, I bless your path and all those you care about.
Let's teach people how to be human again. You're literally eternal souls having this temporary experience, so make the most of it ❤️
Blessings to thee for Blessings Are Free 😘💖
Little Fina/Mylee K
128 notes
·
View notes
Note
Could we get a letter of sup-port for our dear FrauGwinska? She's a wonderful person who needs to hear just how amazing she really is. She's been nothing but a positive example in the HH Fandom, and I know I'm not the only one who can attest to that fact.
Thank you so much for doing these, by the way. It's so lovely to see people lifting others up when hate has been all to prevalent lately.
🐑 ♡ Here's one letter fresh from Sup-port, addressed one delightful author ♡ 🐑
Dear @fraugwinska,
What an honour it is to be able to write a letter to you! From electrifying Vox smut, to the carefully constructed world of Gem, you're stories intrigue and capture the hearts of those that read them.
Not only that, but you've provided a space for other writers to feel seen. You have made a space where people can go to share with others and talk amongst friends.
That's why you've been nominated for a letter! We want to give back all the support you have given us. Inside and outside of the server, we all want you to know that it is just as much a place for you to be seen, appreciated, and loved. This goes for both you and all your heartful stories. Thank you for sharing them with us, and thank you for all that you have done for the fandom!
Wishing all the best, and sending all of our love,
The Sup-port Team xo
Let's see what other letters arrived for you!
From @hazelfoureyes ♡
Mein Frauchen, very often I read things that make me feel inadequate as a writer. Several times it was things you’ve written, you talented bitch (I love you). I know good art doesn’t always get the recognition it deserves, but I hope you truly believe me when I say you’re skilled in many areas and your efforts are always appreciated. The first time I read your work I almost got too intimidated to talk to you anymore haha but I did! Somehow! ♡ I’m unsure how to lift your spirits, but please know no matter how you choose to exist in our fandoms we all share together that we are better for your presence.
From @macabr3-barbi3 ♡
"Frau is one of the most genuine and heartfelt people I have ever met- she was one of the first people in the Hazbin fandom to welcome me, which was honestly wild because I was already a fan of Method to Madness and was just baffled that she was not only such an amazing writer, but an amazing person all around. When we started chatting after a frankly mortifying initial interaction on my part, I was so happy to find that we were so similar and that she was so fun to talk to and conspire with. So many of my ideas have come from the inspiration she brings me, as a fellow writer and as a friend. She is endlessly patient, empathetic to a degree I've never seen, and so so so supportive and encouraging of everyone that she interacts with in the servers we share. She is funny and charismatic and sweet, and I've grown closer to her faster than I've ever bonded with another person before. It hurts to know sometimes that she doesn't see herself the way that myself and so many others in the Hazbin community see her- an integral and important part of the fanfiction community and in all of our lives. It is one of my greatest privileges in life to not only be here to support her writing and her work but to call her one of my absolute best friends, and I can't wait to see how much further she grows."
From @kewpikayo ♡
Kindness. Warmth. Inspiration, A powerhouse of talent and a genuine soul. Those words, among countless more positive things, are but a taste of who Mama Frau is. I may have only known Frau since the latter part of 2024 but I can just tell she is the type of person who would travel oceans for people just to let them know she cares. She is so sweet, a motherly soul, and so very creatively inclined. To say I appreciate her is a complete understatement. She is a treasure, a precious “Gem��, and to know her is such a gift. The way she weaves her stories with intricate detail and just enough suspense to keep her audience’s intrigue is commendable and a remarkable skill. I am thankful beyond compare for you, Mama Frau. And I am so excited to get to know you even more as we walk further into 2025 and many years to come hugs
From @startissuu ♡
"Stop being so darn pretty before Chef is forced to travel to Germany and get down on one knee"
Tagging Backup:
@melodyonthewireless, @tarokitsu, @bapple117, @redvexillum, @redfoxwritesstuff, @minkdelovely, @hyuccubus, @reinthechaosdeer, @jurijyuu, @primsgirl89, @dewdropdinosaur, @xalygatorx, @6esiree, @lumikello24
Want To Write A Personal Letter?
Frau's official Sup-port tag is #fromsup-port2fraugwinska
♡ Is it your first time picking up mail at Sup-port? Find out what we're about here ♡
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
hello. part two of me ranting about the fear of memory loss in isat. is it that obvious i have autism?
part one was about the kings fear of forgetting. Go read. *clicks my fingers like a cat* go.
disclaimer not a psychiatrist blahh blahhhh u get the idea :p king rant was long, this will be longer. maybe one singular person is as normal as i am about this game and will enjoy. otherwise at least its out of my system and into words
So yeah, the king is afraid of forgetting. Siffrin, however, is afraid of being forgotten.
Siffrin, is late 20s, and just like the king lost the majority of their memories to the island.The people they loved, all that jazz i don't need to write the cinematics again. They too end up in an unfamiliar place, however they end up a rouge. They travel from city to city, never staying anywhere solid, never making any real connections for years (at least as far as we know.) To him, he is just a guy* who lost everything that they knew, and that's that. No point if it'll just happen again. In fact im not even sure if they're aware they're from that island, since I'm pretty sure he learns it ingame. He just exists. Thats it. Their life doesn't matter, doesn't impact anyone. He is forgettable
But then, they meet Mira, Odile, and Isa. Then Bonnie, and when things couldn't get more confusing, he loses an eye for them. The party loves Siffrin, even if they never say it pregame. They appreciate him. And even if Frin doesn't think it directly, they definitely subconsciously believe it pregame. Otherwise, it wouldn't be such a shock when odile says they're colleagues at best. So how can Siffrin go back to his old life? A life on the go, with no connections, nothing but the millisecond bumps into strangers and polite conversations with the clerk at the hotel desk. Nobody to come home to, no one to ask how their day was.
Its like trying chocolate after eating coco beans all your life. Maybe you can tolerate going back to coco beans for a bit, but you'll never forget the chocolate. It'll be something you think about all the time, your thought before sleep takes you, as tiktok would say your 'roman empire'.
So Siffrin cannot let them go back home. He wishes to stay with them. and thus, the loops happen.But after a bit he, quote, 'understands the king more than he'd like to'
He refuses to be forgotten, to have to go back to that life. They've lived the span of their memories being so blindingly forgettable, now someone, some people see them and its so close in his grasp. Isabeau is so close to confessing to him. Mirabelle is so close to her full potential as a housemaiden. Odile is accepting she's more than her roots. And Bonnie, the kid he lost an eye for, disabling him permentantly, HUGGED them. a massive deal for a fella whos been living off small talk and avoiding eye contact for the last 10 years. Just one more loop, if they do it all right then just maybe..
Not here to talk abt the loops. moving on.
After all these people who love him, they don't wanna be forgotten. Trauma isn't just a factor in disorders. Trauma can, and often does create its own reactions. For a real world example, Children who grow up with absent parents often react with avoiding and distancing tendencies, where as children with emotionally unstable parents tend to grow to be anxiously attached to those they love. These aren't disorders, but they are a reaction to the trauma faced and ingraned. Frin's fear of being forgotten is just as much a trauma response as it is a result of the way he lives. Who knows how many people Siffrin forgot in the island. What's stopping him from being like them? What's stopping him from being so forgettable.
Side note, act 5 is next to the Sunny vs Basil fight as my favorite two scenes in games, especially when it comes to imagining/reading about them in other characters povs other than the mains. And bigfrin is my absolute joy in the world. not sorry.
But after loops n loops of trying to prevent it, hearing off handed comments about how bonnie hates them, and how isa will say i love you to anyone except him, Sif's self worth is at an all-time low. They just don't have it in them anymore. They cant do it. we're looking at months of living the same two days over and over. Same lines. Same people. Same events. Years, if you're an insane person who does like 500+ loops. I think most people did like 70-150 though. Siffrin has been reliving this for so long he's begun to find comfort in it. It feels safe. Its boring, its insufferable, yes, but its SAFE. After suffering all those months, they're leaving anyway. They are going home. They will go home and forget Sif and it will all be for nothing. When Odile stops them from looping back, they strike. Either at themselves, or those they love. They would literally rather attack those they've gone through months of suffering just to spend more time with, or attack themselves time after time till it kills them. They'd rather it than risk them all leaving and forgetting him. I don't really have much more to say i guess i just ugh
i love act 5 i love bigfrin and if theres any writers reading this write some act 5 from other party members pov and you will get the juciest kiss.
if you read all this way, congrats!! i diagnose you with autism 💜
*guy is used as a unisex. i know the correct term for siffrin is fella. i went to gender school.
#isat#siffrin#isat siffrin#act 5 spoilers#act 5 isat#i'm normal im normal i swear#sorry for the third time abt ranting abt isat look i should probably make a seperate ranting account
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
Oh Sklonda's righteous fury hits so hard, as a kid who WAS taken advantage of in many ways by her friends when she was in school, and whose mom tried to tell her they were being unkind and who didn't believe her until she got kinder friends
#christina liveblogs#for me it was middle school so i know we've all grown up#i wish those people nothing but the best in life#but absolutely time and again my generosity was taken advantage of#i got teased for my naivety#my mom loaned a friend $20 when she said she lost it as we were driven to the movies#she found her cash and instead of giving my mom her $20 back we went to the mall with $40#i sat alone at a friend's house while they went to smoke weed in the garage bc i was Very much not the stoner i am now#and when we got to high school and i made friends with kids from my theater class#THEATER KIDS!!!#my middle school emo friends got upset bc i was being 'normal now'#they were not always good friends to me#and i was just like riz insisting it was fine i loved them they werent doing anything wrong#sklonda is right to be pissed and i love her for it#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#d20 spoilers#d20#fantasy high#sklonda gukgak#riz gukgak
329 notes
·
View notes
Text
I feel like Hershel and Desmond would both be afraid of themselves.
If they stop and look at themselves. If they realize what they're doing came from years of pain. Would it all lead to a question of "Who else am I going to hurt?" "How many people have I unintentionally hurt because I never realized what I was really doing?" "How many things of my life have I missed because of this?" "How many things do I—or will I—regret?"
I feel like Layton self-sacrifices to a fault. That others get hurt trying to protect him. That he unknowingly drags other people through pain to get to where he thinks he needs to go. To solve every mystery there is. To get rid of his pain from outside sources, he needs to make as much of it himself under the titles "Determination" and "Amazing at solving things" and "Helping others" because then, how could those things ever hurt him? How could they ever be seen as pain? They're not like his (other) traumas. They don't cause pain at all. Not to mention what he thinks about danger. Danger? What danger? There's no danger here. Just people who are willing to hurt others to get what they want—Which is very sad and shows their pain and he'd very much like to help them in any way possible, if possible. If they show that they don't want to be helped, then it's better to leave them be.
But then again, nothing can ever be someone's fault other than his around him. I think he goes over betrayals thinking, "There must have been something I could have done." or "There must've been something I did." or "If I learn from this, I can make sure it never happens again." or... ... I think he has a hard time accepting that things really aren't his fault / there's really nothing he can do about some situations. Actually, when it comes time for Unwound Future and the whole Evil Layton arc... The only time in which he actually raises his voice is at himself. Is at the version of him that betrayed all of the morals in which he's held onto for so long. But a part of me thinks that, if he knew things were actually his fault, he'd have a problem with that, too... I mean, look at how he reacts to him getting puzzle answers incorrect in CV. In CV. In the 4th game of experience that he's had with puzzles. And a movie. With all that experience and he gets something wrong... he's disappointed in himself. Going back to the UF/LF thing... "I demand an explanation!!" I don't think I'll ever forget that line. I think, from his journal... We know he was trying to think of reasons why he would do something like this. Idk. I'm. Thoughts are not thinking anymore. Um. Wow I really lost my thought process. I was also gonna talk about Desmond. But I guess that's not happening at the moment.
#i will come back to this... maybe.... hopefully#i just think they're really sad people.#if you really look at it.#they're similar.#part of me even thinks that desmond has more pain than layton but. idk#ill get to that... maybe....#i just wish that everyone was happy.#that nothing bad happened ever.#i think they deserve it.#if none of the bad things happened#how much would have changed.#healanalyses#i should start putting it in one word huh#healthoughts#i guess#professor layton#hershel layton#desmond sycamore#healsramblings#they make my head hurt. and i think they'd be afraid of themselves#because i relate to them in more ways than i want to#and im afraid of myself because of it.#i ask myself those same questions#and i heavily relate to hershel and relate somewhat to desmond#and i ask myself if im a monster disguised in righteousness and friendship and healing and positivity#and if everything in my life is my fault or not#and what can i do to help the situations or my friends or things like that#even if everyone says that im the best friend that they know#or the kindest or whatever compliments they give me#somethings lingering within me; telling me i cant accept those words
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
therapy is going to be a struggle bc i just know that as soon as i mention The Divorce the therapist will try to trace all my problems back to The Divorce and to be completely honest with you, i dont think ive ever had a specific problem with my parents not being together anymore (i kinda knew itd happen eventually) and i feel like my issues come more from the aftermath than from the event itself
#you could argue that this would mean it is actuallh a product of divorce but like. man. thats just not true if im completely honest#i wish i could be one of those fictional characters people write fics about where they overcome a decade of trauma in one conversation and#then get magically better and theres this line thats like ''its not always easy but theyre trying their best'' but the relationship the#author built is in fact perfext and flawless and the times where it isnt easy dont come from the characters unhealthy behaviour affecting#the relationship it actually comes from when the character js SAD#sigh idk. i need a therapist. ik its gonna be a struggle but its better than nothing.#ive been trying to get one since last year but the last lady bailed on me like twice and it killed a bit of my willingness to go to therapy#and now i keep asking my parents to help me out with getting a new one and they just arent (this is not somwthing i can do by myself)#anyways ^____^ life goes on#talk#oh also yes i feel like this about therapy specifically bc of this lady. so sorry to all therapists that i will talk to this is a thing now
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
posting on here is like my sisyphean boulder i'm constantly rolling tbh
#god i am trying so hard to just have fun and be myself#but when i do that i'm immediately a strange outsider creep#and since i can't really mask my version of masking is just not talking and then obviously you don’t find any joy in fandom spaces either#i will always be a shitty unlikable freak no matter how much i pretend otherwise. it was obvious from the start that getting involved in#fandom spaces was a fucking mistake. it's always a mistake because you're some laughing stock at best and a horrifying freak at worst#i don't blame people for not liking me i've realised what an awful person i am long ago#but it's always so hard witnessing something like fun social groups from the sidelines knowing you'll never be a part of it#this is why my mental state has been deteriorating so severely in the last few months. that Realisation once again nothing fucking changed#i know it's stupid to get so upset over fandom but it's only a pattern for me#i stopped trying to be friends with people when i was a teenager because it hasn't worked a single time#this attempt at integrating myself into the wotr and bg3 fandom by sharing my shit was just one mistake#gortash/zeke is so different from anybody else’s work and i wish i could find joy in something that it isn’t fucking deranged but i can’t#like yes it’s just fandom bullshit! gortash/zeke is a fucking oc x canon ship! why am i getting so upset over it!#i love writing them. i’ve never been this happy writing anything. and it’s entirely indicative of a common pattern in my life#when i earnestly share parts of myself/things i’m passionate about people get creeped out. and honestly? rightfully so#i would leave the discord servers i’m in because it’s fucking crushing me dude. this is so petty but i’m so jealous of what you people have#but in one i am server owner and i don’t want to just dump that responsibility onto someone else and then dip#and in the other two i’m not sure anyone would even notice that i’m gone but i still worry about being rude#though i’m not entirely sure i didn’t get invited to one of those just so people could laugh at me. idk probably just being paranoid but i#it’s been gnawing at me#ok no if i’m being this vulnerable on tunglr.com i can also say that part of me staying is also still having the hope that i could fit in#one day. logically i know it won’t happen but it’s nice to have hope sometimes#watching you all from through the window having fun like a creep#so yeah. i’ve always felt like this but it’s been rapidly getting worse with my failed attempt at the bg3 fandom#idk just been crying non-stop for the last few hours. went through an entire pack of tissues in an hour it’s very disgusting#they’re all lying around me as i’m typing this like a pillowfort of snot lmao#so yeah. idk. if someone could come over and lobotomise me that’d be nice. orin where are you when we need you most#i never had any friends irl so i foolishly gave this a shot. i’m sorry#also doesn’t help that i can see someone dropping me for people that are easier to be around in irl rn#it just hurts because it’s always like that. someone you are around when you have no other option at best. not even that sometimes
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
Daymn, allegedly according to tumbkr i have posted 100 times. Wowie. Too bad they’re all liars and owe me big money (i’m too serious)
not even lying which is the worst part. Anyway it’s late have a “poster” of my “blog au” which “technically” “exists” and uh “yeah”. It exists but like i haven’t posted anything i might one day if i figure out how to format it but idk if y’all would like smthn like that lmk.. Au blogs steal my heart you guys are cuties
#stinky little liar support group?#LOOPDON#half life au#prolly too niche to main tag#it’s unfinished anyway so we BALL!!#midnight rn#uh stream the Gay? EP by 12rods on spotify best mistake of my life#I WISH YOU WERE A GIRL A GIRL WHO IS SOFT AS SILK BUT SILKY FROM THE INSIDE OUT#i’m just having fun with tags these mean nothing#CAUSE I FEEL GREEN IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN#DONT BE SO NICE TO ME.#CAUSE I FEEL AWKWARD#those are the lyrics to i wish you were a girl by 12 rods…#did you know i like 12 rods???#yeah.#who needs a diagnosis when you have a diagnosed brother amirite ladies#what do autistic people take to focus i need those#and i am in need of food too please and thank you#i’ll stop now okay#BYEEE I LOVE YOU#how hungry?
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
like not to sound like some edgy piece of shit but that is also why horror is like such a breath of fresh air to me lmao like in almost all the horror media i've seen
#like horror media is the most accurate representation of real life for me cause . life is suffering!!! life is pain!!!#everything fucking hurts !!!!#like i really liked that there were multiple suicidal characters in made in abyss#or at least a common theme was that death is sometimes the one and only way to relieve your suffering#bc thats true! the best day of my life will be the day i die bc i will not be in pain anymore !!! <3 SO TRUE MIA !!!#even the characters that werent horribly deformed like mitty and irumyuui. vueko wanted to kill herself bc of trauma#and saw my beloved i LOVE SAW !!!!! and i FIRMLY BELIEVE that saw is just like real life <3#bc a lot of the victims arguably did not deserve to die. they did not deserve to be “tested”#a lot of good people suffer irl and a lot of bad people get away with what they've done#and sometimes you wake up in a situation that is not your fault but theres nothing you can do to get out of it#sometimes you are forced to endure something that will maim or kill you#and if ONE PERSON decided it was not worth it to hurt you you could have been spared.#and sometimes you panic bc the easier option may be letting yourself die but you wish it wasnt#you wish there was a key or that someone would come and free you painlessly but there isnt a third option#sometimes its immense pain and then death or just death. and you can only pick between those two#sometimes all the fucking tables are turned against you and you can do nothing to fight back! ultimately you just have to take it#and nobody is coming to save you either. someone picked YOU to be the one to suffer and die and now you just have to endure it
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
I meant to actually properly color and render this piece, but I greatly underestimated just how much time THAT takes for someone like me, who absolutely cannot use any digital drawing tool without a disproportionate amount of time and effort. I still count a simple unpolished sketch as better than nothing, though, so, without further ado...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JOHNNY!!!!!!!!!!
(Opening the image gets rid of the Tumblr compression blur, so please do that in order to see this piece in all of its glory ;w;)
#THE SCAN ISN'T ALL THAT GREAT BECAUSE ALAS I DO NOT OWN A SCANNER#AND I TRIED TO EXPLAIN TO THE LADIES AT THE PHOTOCOPY SHOP THAT THE IMAGE MIGHT TURN OUT LESS PALE IF THEY PUT SOMETHING BLACK ON TOP#UNFORTUNATELY THEY DID NOT LISTEN#i'm too scared and unconfident to put this in any of the main tags but at least i figured i could share something i put my heart and soul#into#(or as much as someone trying to juggle life shit and getting a degree and a plethora of other things can‚ anyway)#i still have hope that people will see that this was made with a lot of love despite the fact that it's nowhere near a finished illustratio#also the cake decorations are special but cannot be seen well so do ask me about those if you wish to know what they are and why they're#there#WAUGHHHHHHHHH........ JOHNNY#he deserves nothing but the absolute best
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
The thought of going to college is filling me with immense despair and I’m half thinking of dropping out
#I cant do this anymore godammit#i want to SCREAM#I know shipping characters won’t pay the bills but I wish it did#I just wish things weren’t hard anymore I want to play on easy mode. a tutorial mode even. I just. don’t want to do this anymore#I don’t want to! I cant! i cannot!!!! I am sick of disappointing people! I’m sick SICK SICK OF IT!#just another month I’ll be through with this I say#gosh I just need to hold out for just that much longer#I hate when people keep expectations from me! I hate it! Stop it!! stop telling me that I have the ‘capacity to do well’ I don’t! I am#exhausted and average at best! there is nothing I am outstanding in! I am just average! stop stop stop stop expecting that I’ll do something#remarkable in life when I’m just looking forward to dying as soon as possible! stop it! stop it!!#it drives me insane I want to punch a wall it’s driving me INSANE#I am average at everything ok? I’ve made my peace with it. I’m not destined for greater things. I’m studying for a pretty worthless degree.#I don’t even want this degree. I didn’t even choose it. I don’t want to do it. I don’t! I really don’t.#it drives me insane whenever people tell me that I don’t give my 100% in my academics. yes I don’t. I don’t because if I do I will self#destruct. last time I gave it my all I became so severely depressed that I quit everything I quit doing everything I loved. it was horrible#I gave it my all in the way people want you to and the whole time I was suffering and then I failed#it really does affect you when you for once try your absolute best and the result you get is worse than if you didn’t try at all#I was better off slacking. so ever since I’ve done the bare minimum and come to terms with the fact that I am average at best and I’m much#better off being average at best instead of being an absolute failure after doing my absolute best#they say that school doesn’t matter in the long run I hope it’s true because those scars haven’t faded still#the brain damage was irreparable#eugh I hate it here#delete later
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
I thought the october curse was gonna be skipped this year based on the fact I got a job on the first day but like. it turns out that was the bad luck disguising itself at good news and it's just another normal october
#i think a lot about how july 2020 was mediocre and july 2021 was one of the worst months of my life#and i made it known that i didn't trust july anymore. and it must've taken that as constructive criticism and my god it listened to me#bc then july 2022 was one of the best months of my life#and the two julys since have been pretty good as well#like that is so nice from july what a good friend#CANNOT say the same for october. like since 2014 every single one has been significantly terrible (except 2015 and maybe 2018)#2014 depressed. 2016 no friends depressed. 2017 giving nothing. 2019 dropped from what was a really good year#2020 like every mental illness known to man. 2021 All the horrors happening at once. 2022 the aromantic's worst nightmare#2023 was just awful#and then 2024's theme is having an absolutely miserable job after like 15 months of unemployment#i only get 3 days off and i can't even enjoy them bc i know what they're leading to#my shifts are too short to be allowed breaks but way too long for that to be comfortable#there've been times the day before a shift when i think about going and end up feeling nauseous and that's never even happened before lol#i get paid in like week apparently so i might try and wait until then but like#also the worst part is it's basically what i did when i was 17 (kitchen porter/assistant/whatever) so i keep comparing them#except there were parts of that job i enjoyed like the dishwasher and the cool shower looking tap and doing the plates and cutlery etc#and also the people i worked with. and the shifts weren't too bad. and i had a glorious hyperfixation#anyway this job is none of those things it's actually all the things i specifically disliked about the other one lol#i miss the dishwasher she was so cool. i miss the hyperfixation i had in 2017 (but when do i not)#but yeah i guess the only advantages of this job is I'll have money again and it's more motivation to look for another job#once again wishing i was 17 bc she wasn't happy and had no friends or aim in life but she listened to a lot of music so#idk why i always get addicted to 2017 nostalgia maybe bc it was such a mediocre year#like if i start wishing I was 13 or 15 or 19 or 22 I'm just gonna get depressed bc they were so good#but there's no reason for me to want to be 23 or 20 or 16 or 14 bc like. what is there to want about those#but 17 is so average it's like a low enough standard or something idk. anyway#ramble
1 note
·
View note
Text
I love Taylor. I always have and to some degree I always will. She means too much to me and is such an important figure and source of joy and light in my life when I desperately needed, and a connection to my own father that I need desperately, to deny that I will always look on her fondly to some degree as silly as that may seem sometimes and to some people.
But that doesn't mean I don't/won't/can't be critical of her or be disappointed or disagree with choices she makes or has made, because I absolutely have been and I absolutely am.
My problem is that I always, with every fiber of my being, look for and try to see the best in people and believe in people until I absolutely can't anymore. Unless it's something truly reprehensible and irredeemable, my brain simply cannot comprehend the idea that one bad decision or mistake trust me I know she's made more than one lately can automatically invalidate or negate anything and everything good a person has ever done. I've genuinely tried to understand it and unfortunately, I can't wrap my head around the concept. I give grace to a fault. I get sad when I see things said about her in a negative light even when I completely understand and even agree, because I have so much love for her in my heart. It's that tride and true naive, blind optimism in me I guess.
But I do not in any way think she's a perfect person, I know she isn't, because nobody is. Some are just better at hiding that than others. She makes mistakes, she's wrong sometimes, she is a human being who messes up. Sometimes in big ways. And unfortunately she's messed up a few times over the last year or so and that makes me sad. It disappoints me because I love her so much, and I do want and expect better of her. And in the process of that, it makes me very sad that I feel like I have to hide the facet of myself that does still love her despite my disappointment in her or risk making people upset with me now because I'm so afraid of upsetting people. I'm terrified of doing or saying the wrong things I try so hard to do the best I can every day and it's disappointing to see her slip up. It's sad. It makes me very sad.
It's a complicated time to love her right now. I hope, in my heart of hearts, I sincerely hope that sooner rather than later it won't have to be that way anymore. Not just for me, but for all of us who feel that complexity or conflict of emotions.
#I don't know I'm just talking out my ass I just have a lot of thoughts running through my head I don't really know how to articulate well#I just always want to believe the best in people I don't like to judge people I don't like to condemn people or see that happen#unless someone is truly reprehensible and deserving of condemnation and I just don't feel in my heart that she is like some people do#I don't know maybe that makes me a bad person...? sometimes I feel like there are people who would think that it does and that makes me sad#I know I keep saying I don't know but I truly don't know. I'm just tired. sometimes I wish I didn't care#but the fact of the matter is that I do. I care about people I love people I want nothing but the best for people#I want to believe the best in people and in my heart I believe that she is the person I always thought she was. someone who is good and kin#who makes mistakes but is ultimately better for them because she learns from those mistakes and grows#or maybe I just want to believe she's like me and always looks for the best in people and sees the best in people to a fault#until she can't deny the truth anymore if they're not good people.#sometimes you blind yourself to the things in people or situations that you don't want to see until it's impossible to anymore#I know because I've been there. not in the same kinds of situations granted but I've blinded myself and hurt myself so much to hang on#I've ruined my entire life holding onto the past. not wanting to move on into the stage of my life I'm actually in#and trying to stay in my childhood as long as possible when the truth is it's long gone. i can't get it back.#but I can keep her. I can keep that piece of it. and oh god I want to. I pray to god the truth of her heart is revealed#and that that truth is good. that that truth is a relief and a reassurance to those like me and many others looking for it lately#maybe I'm just being naive I guess. but dammit I want to see light on the other side no matter what. it's a blessing and a curse sometimes.#I just want people to love each other and be kind to one another and coexist with one another peacefully... that's all I want... 😔#I want people to be able to love who and what they love without shame or fear to be who they are unapologetically without shame or fear#I just want love and hope and light in this world goddammit it shouldn't be as hard as it is these days 😔#I love you all. so much. no matter what. never forget that. ❤#abby's insomnia thoughts
0 notes