#i wish there were more characters like her shes such a rare gem

[luxsea]

the delivery of karlach going "whatever do you mean? >:) we're just two normal people living normal lives very, very normally" with unbreaking eye contact while reaching to hold tavs hand is going to be stuck rotating in my mind forever now. every time someone goes "feeling normal rn!" the brain worms overtake me

[aokoaoi]

— pairings : neteyam x fem!reader

— warnings : fluff. angst. no comfort. character death. major atwow spoilers.

— authors note : if you know me, i mainly wrote shuri fanfics. but now is the time for a new phase:p. might still post about shuri, keyword : might. anyways, happy new years to those who've just reached the first of january !

To Neteyam, you're like a rare precious gem no na'vi has ever discovered. You were like no other, and that's what got him attached to you.

At first, it was just friendship. Sharing memories together, sharing laughs and jokes, and even in those raids you were still with eachother. But then that friendship turned into something more romantically involved as he realized.

He hid his feelings for you, afraid of what would happen if your feelings weren't mutual. He definitely couldn't tell you, not when everything is already perfect as it is.

When his father announced that they'll be finding a home in the Metkayina clan in order to keep their current home safe, he saw the surprise in your eyes. A flash of worry and fright glistened in your eyes, and immediately you stubbornly argued with the clan leader.

It was like you weren't even afraid of his father at all, and no matter how much he rejected your offers to come with them just to be with Neteyam, you just put a furious pout in your face. Eventually, you used the 'Sully's stick together' weapon on the clan leader.

Of course, you weren't a Sully. But to the Sully's, you were basically family to them. Neytiri treated you like you were her daughter every moment you're with her, and to the siblings, you're basically like a guardian angel. To Jake though, you're a stubborn little prick. But not in a way that he disliked it.

And then the siblings got involved. Mainly Tuktirey.

Poor little girl was clinging in your leg, wanting you to come as well. She grew a soft spot in your heart, she was so dear to you even you can't resist her. When Tuk was putting up a pouty show for you and Jake, he eventually agreed to let you come with an annoyed grunt and a roll of his eyes.

When it was the time to learn the ways of the Metkayina, you were oddly fast to adjust, with the help of Tsireya of course.

You comforted him when he still wasn't making progress and even offered to help him even though you only knew so little. You first taught him breathing exercises like how Tsireya taught you. It took a couple of minutes because of how distracted you two would get, but he eventually got the hang of it.

But then you two spent less time together now that you were learning on your own. It saddened him, yes, but at the same time he wished you learned more with him instead of learning with the Metkayina's.

He eventually saw that you were drifting apart, and how he saw you less and less each day. He didn't know why, and you never told him why. He wondered what could have gotten you so distracted to the point you rarely talk to him anymore.

He saw you once and only got to talk to you once when Kiri had a seizure underwater. You rushed in with a worried look, and you turned to the na'vi nearest to you to ask what happened. And that na'vi was him.

Small words, short sentences. That was it.

You immediately ran to Kiri when she gained consciousness, your knees scraping the ground from how you you hastily crouched down to her level beside Neytiri, your hand on her shoulder rubbing comforting circles as she held her weeping daughter.

It was when he got the point. You didn't want anything to do with him anymore, that's alright with him. He'll give you your space if that's what you wished for. He'll avoid you, He'll not talk to you, but that's not stopping him from thinking about you all the time.

A painful feeling ached in his chest when he sees you with the Metkayina siblings, Ao'nung and Tsireya. You won't even talk to his own siblings anymore, not even Tuk.

Even though he didn't fully understand as to why you're doing this. he'll let you go.

He let's you go, even though he still thinks about you. Even in the battle field. Even when his siblings have been caught by the humans. And even when a bullet has been shot through his chest.

He wonders about what you'd think about him if you saw him now. Bleeding and vulnerable.

'Skxawng.'

He can't help but smile at the thought as his brother puts him up on a rock, his sibling and his father surrounding him. Jake orders Lo'ak to put pressure on his chest, and the boy does so. Lo'ak sees a small smile on his brother's face.

"What you smiling about, huh? During this situation?" He attempted to tease him, but the worry on his voice laced his normal teasing tone.

"Thinking about her." Neteyam says after a few beats of silence, tears swelling up his eyes as he struggles to stay awake and breathe. Lo'ak stares at him, breath hitching when he understood what his brother meant.

Neytiri then landed beside them, rushing immediately to her son worridly. She yells in agony, falling onto her knees and beside Neteyam.

Tuk exclaims something as they heard a flapping on the waters nearing them, and on instinct, Spider turned to the source. You almost fell off your ilu when you rushed to the bleeding boy, your feet harshly scraping on the rocks, making cuts in your feet.

You fell onto your knees as your breathing became uneven and harsh. Neteyams eyes glossed over your face, contemplating if you were real or if he was dreaming. Your tears fell onto his cheeks, and then he was reminded this was reality.

Your voice let's out small whimpers of 'no's, your hand touching the sides of his face as your thumb brushed against his cheeks. You feel a hand on your back, and you recognized the feeling of his father's hand immediately.

"N-neteyam, I'm here. Okay? I'm here now." He heard your soft voice call out to him. Oh how he missed that voice so much.

You let out a heavy sob, one hand coming down to his wounded chest as you tried to put pressure on it as well. Your ears attempted to silence the boys struggled breathing and small chokes as it brought more tears to your eyes.

He attempts to speak, but only ends up choking for air.

"..I want to go home." He chokes out, tears cascading down his cheeks as you caressed it. Jake let's out a heavy sound at his words, fighting the tears in his eyes as he went closer to his son.

"I know, I know. We're going home." Jake struggles the words out, leaning more towards Neteyam as you made more space for his son.

"We're going home, it's okay." The father comforts, his big hand coming to Neteyams cheek. You let out a pained breath at his words, your vision bluring from the tears collecting in your eyes.

Silence rang around you as Neteyam calls out for his father, but was unable to finish. Your heart stopped there, and your lip twitched into a frown. You watched as his pupils dilated as your hand felt his chest stop beating.

"Neteyam." You call out, your hand leaving his chest. You hear a sigh from beside you, and then Neytiris cries. Your heart ached as you watched Neytiri desperately shake her son awake, your lips twitching into a frown as the tears that collected in your eyes finally cascaded down your face.

My son.

Neytiri yelled, her voice breaking.

"I'm so sorry." You sniffed out, grasping Neteyams hands. You imagine the warmth in them like always when you get the chance to hold him. But now it was cold.

Cold.

Lifeless.

You brought his hand to your lips, and to your cheek. "My love, I'm sorry." You whispered into his hand, your warm breath hitting the coldness of his hand.

You then felt a body engulfing you, sobbing into your shoulder. Tsireya. Her arms held your shaking body as your let out harsh sobs, your lungs struggling to breathe air.

You shut your eyes tightly. You can't bare to see the sight of a woman you considered as your mother cry and desperately yell for her son. You can bare to see Lo'ak as his hands were bloodied with his brother's blood. You didn't want to see them suffer anymore. You wished it hadn't ended like this.

The boy you loved was now laid on the ground, unmoving, a mother was calling for Eywa's help to save her son. A son, who had to face his unfortunate fate all because of one man.

How can mankind be so cruel?

[neon-green-reagent]

50 Underrated Horror Films: Part 4

What in absolute hell. We made it to part 4? Well, here we go then! Oh, also, links to the other parts: One : Two : Three

Undead : Starting off with an absolute banger. This is an Australian zombie apocalypse film. If you're familiar with Ozploitation cinema, then you know how nutso it can get, and this is a perfect example of just that. The action sequences are wild crowd pleasers, and the plot twists until it nearly breaks off.

Werewolf in a Girl's Dormitory : I realize that sounds like porn. Just stay with me. It's a giallo! With a werewolf! For me, this was like finding the holy grail. Best of both worlds, truly. With... not the best looking werewolf, but this is an older movie, so cut it a little slack. It turns into a fun mystery with that special Italian flavor to it.

The Outwaters : Everyone was talking about Skinamarink. No one was talking about this. It has a similar conceit. To make a horror film that defies the idea of plot. It starts like your average found footage, then becomes a drug trip straight to the depths. It really does feel like witnessing a cosmic horror story where the horrors are, indeed, impossible to describe.

Tomie : This is the first of me cheating and actually recommending way more than one film. The Tomie film franchise is a series of loose adaptations of Junji Ito's manga of the same name, and there are nine at the moment. They get wild and weird, and they explore parts of Tomie that even the manga doesn't cover. Female monster! You need these in your life.

Murdercise : Low budget silliness trying to be throwback 80s and mostly just being hilarious and noticeably cheap. I love that. It's stupid and seems like the kind of movie that was a blast to make. I definitely felt like I was laughing with them and not at them, which made it feel really charming. A great one for a dumb movie night.

Zombie Death House : Zombies in jail! Directed by John Saxon who strangely didn't case himself in the lead like some vanity project. Rather he plays a character I have dubbed "Colonel Herbert West" if that sounds at all appealing. I mean, it clearly was to me.

Dead Birds : There aren't a ton of horror films that crossover with westerns, so this is a rare gem. A bunch of outlaws take refuge in a deeply disturbed location, and things get super dark.

Satan's Princess : A neo-noir detective story with supernatural evil at its core. Imagine if Angel Heart was dumber and way cheaper looking. With Robert Forster giving a really fun performance and an ending that had me laughing out loud.

Werewolf Bitches from Outer Space : Do you love Troma movies? Do you wish they were worse? Do I have the film for you! With scenes that were clearly filmed without permits. Random bystanders interfering with the production. Terrible werewolf masks. And pizza sex? It's a laugh riot.

Butterfly Kisses : A genuinely upsetting found footage movie that understands exactly how to use the urban legend format. There's a beastie out there that, if you stare at it, it will imprint on you like a baby duck. Then if you blink, it gets a little closer. Try to imagine how long you can go without blinking.

To Die For : Wanna watch a really shitty, late 80s Dracula? Here you go! It's dumber than a box of rocks. No one's motivations make any sense. Dracula seems like kind of a jerk despite being a romantic figure. But most of the actors are hotties and know the silly movie they're in, so it comes out fun in the end. Oh, and no one can agree when it came out. But rest assured I don't mean the one with Nicole Kidman.

Home for the Holidays : Made for TV Christmas slasher! Starring Sally Field. With a whole lot of family drama, which makes it feel authentically connected to the holiday. Merry Christmas! It's March. Ahem.

Welcome to Hell : Heavy metal horror strikes again. This time, a black metal band impregnates and kidnaps a groupie for their dark ritual. She escapes, but they're hot on her trail. The ending is nothing short of a religious experience. WINK.

Isolation : If Alien took place on a farm. With mutant cow fetuses. I swear, there is science that makes some sense of that. And it's not a comedy, I swear! It's actually very nasty with some wonderful body horror.

Dr. Crippen : Based on a real crime of passion and clearly cashing in on the Psycho craze. It's a strange one to recommend, because it's based on a true event, and the movie leans pretty hard in the bad doctor's favor. But it's worth it if you're a fan of Donald Pleasence. He gets to be his strange, little self and also be the star for once.

Tamara : What a mid-2000s romp this is. A good girl gets treated like garbage and goes bad in a witchy-demon-spell kinda way. Jenna Dewan as Tamara is perfect in every way. Gives me the gay.

Dark Harvest : Don't be like "oh, I've heard of that, didn't that just come out last year?" Yep, and everyone ignored it. When it was pretty fucking great. Set in a cursed town that openly sacrifices their kids to a fantastic monster by the name of Sawtooth Jack. His head is full of candy. Like. Go watch it.

Night Screams : Regional 80s slasher where a guy dies getting his face grilled. I'm pretty sure that shouldn't have killed him. And there are like three killers by the end? Did it before Scream, just saying. Enjoy the vibes on this one.

The Third Saturday in October Part Five and Part One : Speaking of slashers. These low budget gems came out last year, and there was a cute, little gimmick to it. You're supposed to watch five, then one. It simulates growing up pre-internet. You walk into the video store, and all they have is part five. You decide to rent it, even though you've never seen the first one. Then a week later, you find one. This really worked for me. Gave me nostalgic feelings. Please, if you watch them, try it this way.

The Vampire Doll : What if Japan made a Hammer film? Well, here it is. With one of my favorite tropes: a super cute couple investigates the horrors!

Night Feeder : Genuinely the best shot-on-video horror film I've ever seen. It actually fooled me. I thought I was watching a bad VHS rip, but no, this was not shot on film. It's stylish, clearly better than you'd expect, weird, dark, and has a really bad rock band in it.

Older Gods : Low budget and full of heart and also Lovecraftian horrors. If you're reading this and care, to me it felt as if someone wrote an original story around Azathoth. Which is cool, because no one ever uses him in anything. Also, if you're like, "so what does that mean?" It means that reality is up for debate in this one.

Cheerleader Camp : One of those that people clamor for when you talk about movies that still need a proper physical media release. I see why. It's extremely fun with its tongue lodged in its cheek. It uses every slasher trope and laughs hysterically while doing so.

Below : I love my underwater horror, and this delivers wonderfully. Haunted submarine, dude. But honestly, that wasn't the scariest part. The plot was cool, and I enjoyed the mystery, yeah yeah. But more to the point, everything that can go wrong... does. Imagine being trapped at the bottom of the ocean in a giant, metal coffin. BRR!

The Werewolf and the Yeti : How many werewolf movies are on this list? Uh, shut up. As I was saying, this is great. Paul Naschy brings a massively enjoyable werewolf flick our way again. With all his swashbuckling charm. By the time the yeti shows up, so much awesome shit had happened that I forgot he was supposed to fight a yeti. I mean...

Subspecies : And how many vampire movies are on this list? SHUT UP I SAID. Anyway. Another where I mean the whole series. All of them. Radu, the main villain, is a joy. Michelle's story arc is super dramatic and full of that Interview with the Vampire angst. Special mention to the second film, which goes all out with the gore effects.

The Hills Run Red : A horror movie about horror movies. A lost film has gained a cult following, and a bunch of dumb college kids decide to track it down. You can guess how that goes. William Sadler steals the entire movie when he shows up. Babyface also has iconic slasher energy.

Abby : This one's underrated because the filmmakers got sued by the guys that made The Exorcist and lost. This is essentially the black version of The Exorcist, and it's so good that I'm depressed we'll never get a great release of it. Carol Speed is amazing as Abby. William Marshall, Blacula himself, is in it. Track this down and get mad about it with me.

The Appointment : What the hell is this. Even I'm not sure. Edward Woodward crashes his car. I mean, I don't know what else to say about it. The film ramps up the tension and dread until a ridiculously Rube Goldberg thing happens, and you have to experience it.

Frostbiter : Another of those movies made with ten cents and a lot of gumption. A bunch of people wanted to make Evil Dead II, and so they did that. They even put an Evil Dead II poster in the cabin they filmed in, so that you wouldn't even wonder about what inspired it. Also, special mention to the chili song.

Hell's Highway : Have you ever seen a movie that was really cheap and goofy, but you could see EXACTLY how it would've looked if they'd just had the money? This is that movie. Every special effect fails. Everything's so awkward and odd. But you can tell what they MEANT for it to be. So bad it's good and then some.

Dance of the Damned : Vampire. Sorry. So this one is about a vampire who wishes he could stop living eternally, because it sucks to live that long and be so alone. He finds a sex worker who is also feeling like she wishes things would just end, and they share their pain with each other. Way better than it has any right to be, mullet and all.

The Werewolf of Washington : Werewolf. I really am sorry. Dean Stockwell plays a truly adorable werewolf. And nothing about it is meant to be taken seriously at all. Gives An American Werewolf in London a run for its money in the goober department.

The Curse of Kazuo Umezu : From the man who brought you The Drifting Classroom comes... this! It's a pair of strange tales. One about a vampire, fuck, I'm sorry. And one about a haunted house that even the narrator can't figure out what's going on. Horror anime!

Lo : A young man has recently lost his love. She was dragged to hell. That old chestnut. So he summons a demon named Lo to try to get her back. With a twist that'll make you go, wait, I thought this was a comedy?

The Spider Labyrinth : This one recently got a really nice release, and I'm so glad, because it's bonkers. A young fella is sent to Budapest to find a lost professor. Instead he finds a cult. Uh oh.

End of the Line : Apocalypse horror that turns your brain inside out just a bit. A religious cult has decided it's the end of the world, and they start executing innocents so they'll "go to heaven." Are they brainwashed or is the world actually ending? You decide!

Off Balance AKA Phantom of Death : Just barely a Phantom of the Opera riff. A pianist discovers he has a rare genetic disorder that threatens to cut his career short. Also, he's kinda losing it. Starring Michael York, Donald Pleasence, Edwige Fenech, directed by Ruggero Deodato, oh my GOD!

The Lure : Killer mermaids. Well, sirens. Kind of a mix. It's also a musical. And about how awful the entertainment industry is for young women. It's also super gory, and they eat people. Truly little else out there is like this.

Redneck Zombies : What do you want me to say? It's a Troma film. It's called... that. I'm pointing. I'm pointing at the title. That's the movie. Just... Right? Yeah?

The Killer Reserved Nine Seats : Another of those gialli that is really just And Then There Were None. But the nice part is that Italy likes to get more sexual, violent, and fucking awful than Agatha Christie ever dreamed. This one also takes place in an old theater, so the vibes are choice.

Mary Reilly : I always include at least one entry in these lists that begs the question, "how did this become underrated?" And obscure, that too. When it's a Jekyll and Hyde retelling with an emphasis on the gothic and lush, starring Julia Roberts and John Malkovich? By the way, I heard people hated it because of Roberts' terrible Irish accent. Damn, dude, I've heard way worse, fake accents than that. Anyway, this is fantastic. Watch it.

The Forest : One of those slashers where I thought I understood what I was getting into, but I did not. There's a man living in the woods who went postal on his cheating wife one day. The ghosts of his family are also haunting the woods. And he's a cannibal who feeds a guy his own girlfriend. I need other people to watch this so that I can be assured it was real.

Autopsy (2008) : I put a year, because there are around 800 horror films with that title. To further narrow it down, it's the one where Robert Patrick plays basically Herbert West fused with Mr. Freeze, and Jenette Goldstein is his nurse, and they chase a bunch of college kids around for science. Kind of a pitch black comedy with torture porn aspects, and I loved it.

Glorious : A guy gets trapped in a public restroom, which is horrifying enough. Then a cosmic horror god starts talking to him from a bathroom stall. He gives him the assignment of helping to stop the end of the world. The god is J.K. Simmons, and the whole thing is a delightful bottle movie.

Nightmare Detective : From the director that brought you Tetsuo: The Iron Man... Do I have your attention? Comes the Japanese Nightmare on Elm Street! That's oversimplifying, but that is my elevator pitch. It involves all sorts of dream powers and psychic battles that will blow your socks off.

House of Lost Souls : Directed by Umberto Lenzi, which means it feels as doobery as Ghosthouse. It's about a hotel desperate to decapitate you, and it has the silliest dialogue and acting known to man. Special mention to psychic powers being cited as a "rational explanation."

The Cleansing Hour : A priest who livestreams fake exorcisms has to rumble with a real demon. Super fun character piece where a conman has to look his sins dead in the eye. Truly obsessed with this one. Also, super fun demon effects. With Kyle Gallner, everyone's favorite scream king.

Deathrow Gameshow : What if Airplane was super violent? Or The Running Man was a dumb comedy? This hits the sweetest spot, where the humor is idiotic and the violence is cartoonishly nasty. This will speak to the sort of person, like myself, who wants their comedy to be indigestible for most audience goers.

Double Blind : This is a very recent release. A diverse group take part in a double blind drug test. Things go so extremely bad. I won't give anything away, because part of the fun is the unfolding chaos.

I can't believe I managed to do that again. Enjoy! I hope you find some new favorites from this list.

[kimyoonmiauthor]

Reviews and Critiques and how to handle them.

So the second best treaties about this was Holly Lisle's Mugging the Muse (2000), which, BTW, I read much later, because she'd stepped down by then from Forward Motion. At the time I read it, it was free, but now it's paywalled, so it has gems in there, the most useful of which is don't jump on paychecks and budget. Learn how to do Writer Tax returns. Remember to truly LIVE to write better *cough Barthes should have known this one. And the last one is how to take critiques.

The one on critiques goes like this: She used scream and shout when she got critiques and sometimes cry. She'd go into the bathroom and scream and let her do this. And then force herself to act professionally. The BEST of us at this process still fucks up once in a while. The trick is to not fuck up too often.

This is my second best treaties I've seen and heard about it. The first treaties I ever learned about how to take critiques is from my former teacher/advisor, Thomas C. Joyce, who unfortunately died of cancer some years back.

I do remember the names of the people. But as I don't have permission to use their likeness and I don't want them to be harassed. The people who are living (as far as I know) I will not name. I am also including my own fuck ups, because it's only fair. But the core of this is mostly Tom Joyce. Who said something on the order of don't call me "Mr. Joyce, it makes me feel weird. Call me Tom."

He was my advisor at the Young Writer's Camp–a summer writing camp. For this reason, I'll call him Tom.

I wanted to write this treaties out because he never wrote it anywhere... and I might remember parts of it wrongly, but I 100% used this to post to Nanowrimo's first critique threads, and then for the critique forums, which served as the core of a lot of critique groups online?? (not sure about that). And I listed the rules he gave me during critiques. Also that there has been a rise in people who can't take or give critiques and they think doing so won't help their writing. So, I won't write it as eloquently as him, and honestly I'm writing this quite sad because I do wish it was his words here instead of my fuzzy memories of him.

Let me dip a bit into memory lane first, so you get a sense of who Tom was. Tom smoked. He knew he smoked a lot and didn't particularly care. He liked to give this lesson on perception. with music, showing that the simpler things in life aren't always first. And that the source of stories can come from anywhere–not just writing.

When I met him he was a bit portly, which he'd sometimes point out about himself and had salt and pepper hair, which was curly. He'd often talk about how he wanted to lose weight.

He had this calm and cool demeanor about him, but also warm. So when he gave you a critique, it felt like he was reaching into your writerly soul and he could pull out your intentions in an instant. He not only saw where you were, but more importantly, where you were going and intended to go. I aspired to be that sort of critiquer.

He never judged you on your process to write. He had no lessons about that. And he based the entire time around critiquing and making sure you had something for the group. If you wrote on clay tablets, I think he wouldn't care. He'd likely joke loosely about it, but he wouldn't care and say, can you share it?

We did not write the same genre. We did not have the same process to write by a long shot. I never really read his writing and since he was an advisor, he rarely talked about his own writing or boast. He was a cool character because he was HUMBLE and he pressed it into you that YOU MUST STAY HUMBLE at every point of the process. Brave enough to share, but humble enough to take critiques.

He loved anedotes. I probably got my love of making up extended analogies from him.

He was not just a good writing teacher he was the BEST writing teacher I've ever had. And fuck it—I've read a TON of ass novel writing manuals from Aristotle to the present and I've heard author interviews all over the best, I would rank him as the best.

He was so memorable that when I finally got something published he was on my top list of people to show because I'd promised myself I would do so, but when I looked him up so I could pass the story to him, I had found that he'd died of cancer. I was DEVASTATED.

The fact we didn't write the same didn't matter because his lessons around critiquing. His process was this:

You write. You get critiqued. You take the critique gracefully to your face. You learn to critique. You learn both of these processes and perfect them and apply them, and you get better as a writer. He had several large arguments for this process and why he didn't want it to be regimented into telling people how to write.

Remembering his lessons, I posted his loose list of critique rules to early Nanowrimo boards–I posted the first critique threads for first pages and queries, but never his justification for them, because I didn't think it was my place to, but he's not published it himself and I think the internet is forgetting. And I don't think we should forget Tom Joyce since he taught me some really excellent lessons that I think you need to know.

So loosely, Tom's treaties on taking a critique goes something like this:

On receiving a critique:

Stay silent when people critique you. No. Hold your tongue (Fuck, I'm really still working on this one).

Remember any time they put into the critique is a blessing.

Only open your mouth to fact check the person. If they think the US flag has green, you can POLITELY correct them.

Stop explaining your work before you give the piece. He taught me this one. I still struggle with it. I still repeat the advice, but I still have issues.

Do not argue with your critiquers. I've fucked this one up too.

Critiques aren't always right and sometime you have to divine what they are really getting at.

On giving a critique:

When you give a review try to balance the review out. You give 3 bad things, you give 3 good things list them out. Do a summary for your review. YOU MUST find something good to say about it.

Try to read the entire piece before you comment.

Honor the wishes of the author. If they don't think something is working, try to figure out why.

Do your best to separate "Not for you" versus objectively written bad.

Be SPECIFIC. That's more important than the length of your review. He drove this into me.

He argued, the more you critique other people, the better writer you become. And the more you consume, in general, the better writer you become. The more you recieve critiques, the better you become. It's a two-way process, not a one-way process.

His arguments are pretty much why I dislike the whole idea that people don't "have time to give critiques" and thus don't want to give one back. No. If you do 10,000 critiques and get better at them and get 10,000 in return and learn to apply them well, you get better as a writer. Focus on your craft and the writer you want to become.

And now you can see why even though we did not write the same genre, I did not know his writing work, I did not have a matching writing process, that I treasured his lessons. He also had this thing where he was super, super cool with however people wrote. He never, ever disciplined how one should or should not write. He simply said, produce the writing–that's the most important part. And then get it critiqued. We did do occasional writing lessons, but he never ranked that as important.

Now for his arguments on why he thought these things.

So, as a younger writer I struggled and still struggle quite a bit with the first rule. The shut up and listen to someone tear your baby apart.

How to Receive Critiques

First Rule: Stay silent when others critique you and NEVER argue with your critiquer.

His argument went this way: You, the writer are never going to win against a critic. Your entire existence is going to be criticism. You have choices. You suck it up, and accept it is part of the writing thus owning it. You incorporate the suggestion. Or you do better next time.

He had an anecdote, which he liked to tell about this writer who fought against a critic and screamed and shouted and the writer lost.

The result of you fighting against a critic, according to Tom, is that you gain a bad reputation. ALWAYS. Never fight your reviewers.

As Holly Lisle said, go scream into a pillow somewhere, but shut the fuck up and get off the internet. Don't post it onto boards. Tell a friend privately, but don't post it in public. Give yourself a set amount of time to get back to it.

He liked to say stop throwing stones at glass houses. It's not going to work.

No lie, his cool attitude over this still has me screaming at times, HOW DID YOU DO IT? I still try to override the impulse. It's so hard.

Second rule: Every time someone bothers to critique you it's a blessing.

They spent time, and effort consuming your product. As he liked to say THEY ARE A PAYING CUSTOMER. Treat your customers correctly.

And if they are not paying, they were paying their time with you. They cared enough about your work and you to give you a critique.

You have to suck it up and do better.

BTW, if you watch the Youtube Channel, Wait in the Wings, this argument comes up over and over again. When you fight the critics, you lose the majority of the time. When you honor they came to the show and did understand it,

They really cared about you and your art to do this, no matter how cutting it is. Learn to breathe, move on and figure out what to do next.

Third Rule: The only time you open your mouth AFTER the person is done, is on two cases:

The first is to say thank you. The second is to fact check something obvious.

There is no green in the American flag, for example.

DO NOT ARGUE WITH YOUR REVIEWER and don't use this opportunity to try to feel superior to them. WTF man, go back to shutting up. TT

I still struggle with this. I'm swallowing my own feelings as I'm saying thank you. And I'm fighting the voices. And Tom acted like it was easy.

Fourth Rule: Stop explaining your work before you show it.

No lie, my other professors who have given critique sessions also said this. My typography teacher said this, which I keep repeating to myself, "Stop explaining your work. Say that you did the best that you could for the time you were given."

But Tom's logic went like this: Every time someone picks up your work, are you going to be beside them to explain what you MEANT by this or that. Will you be in their ear to talk about your intentions? Let them read the work themselves.

No, it's on you the writer to communicate it better.

Most of the time it's on you, the writer to do it better. (go back to rule number 1 on why).

Fifth Rule: No really, don't argue with your critiquers

It will only end in a bad reputation. Learn how to let it go. Move on. Either take the advice or leave it. See if it works, but at least try it. But arguing with your critiquers will result in nothing good.

How to Give Critiques

First rule: When you give a review, try to balance the review out.

If you give 3 bad things, give three good things, but remember that the person has feelings, so put the good things first. The best critique is good things, bad things, summary. We'll get into how to sort a critique later.

Tom liked to say, remember there is a human being behind that work. And that you won't get that mercy in real life once your work is "out there."

Second rule: Try to read the entire piece first before you comment and then make your comments.

This is your basic reasoning of trying to figure out what the writer is trying to achieve instead of hyper focusing on what they did wrong.

Third rule: Honor the wishes of the author

Spoken and unspoken. If they think something is not working, try to figure out why and some solutions one can do to fix it. Don't just say this thing is wrong. Figure out why. This process will make you also a better writer.

Try to make the piece in front of you better for the author, not how you would write it. He repeated this a lot so you got it. It's not about you and OMG, I would insert dragon here because I could do it better. No, face the piece in front of you and find ways to help the author where they are. You may ultimately disagree and they might not take your advice, but make sure it's about the author, not you.

Rule 4: Do your best to sort "Not for you, versus objectively written bad."

He didn't write romance, fantasy, or Science Fiction. It didn't matter to him or this process. Because there are some commonalities and if you read widely enough, you will know what is good or bad. Don't discriminate like that. If you're struggling with this go to the previous rule about honoring the wishes of the author.

Rule 5: Be specific as possible on why you like or dislike the item in front of you. This helps to sort it out later.

If you say, character is lame. That's not helpful. If you say I dislike the character is diving off the cliff without motivation and I don't know why and the physics don't make sense, that's a lot more helpful to the writer.

He would say too, that the more you're specific and drill down to why, the better you become as a writer. This is why DOING critiques is as important as receiving them. Do the best you can as a critiquer and be specific as possible. It will develop your writer brain and editor brain better.

And I should insert around here:

Revenge critiques are counter productive to you becoming a better writer.

He didn't say this. But I think he would agree given the previous treaties, especially on the idea that the writer is always going to lose.

OMG, you said info dump in MY STORY was bad. So I'm going to find every instance that you info dumped and point it out to you.

Your hurt feelings shouldn't be entering into critiques. Go outside, do something else, come back. You aren't in a place of learning. And sometimes what works for one story will not work for another. Sometimes people do it on purpose and go back to the previous rule about the intentions of the author.

The writer who never honestly critiques and revenge critiques and doesn't listen to critiques, never improves and gets better.

How to Sort Your Critiques

Sort them into these tiers/categories:

Grammar

If you're crying over grammar mistakes, get over it. Just take it and agree or disagree. Do better next time.

Facts

The Earth isn't perfectly round, but it's not shaped like a pear either. The Wizard of Oz wasn't originally propaganda. Greensleeves aren't written for Anne Boleyn. These usually hurt less, but often can dissolve entire stories. This is why you should research. Make sure every single quote is true and truly attributed. This is because facts in your story you don't want that to pull out the reader at any point and you don't know who might be reading it.

Core story issues.

This or that character doesn't work. The intention and impact aren't the same. These are the ones that hurt the most. These are the ones in critiques one should be careful of the most. And the ones that are going to hurt you the most.

The problem is often sort story issues are also the hardest to divine and the hardest to fix.

Critiquer might have had a different emotion from your intention, so remember what I said about being able to reach into other people's writing and figure out their intentions and then work with that? Yeah, this is where it comes in handy to make your own writing better. Sometimes they point to a thing, but it's not that thing.

Say comments are,

this character is boring.

This character doesn't do much.

I think this character is lazy.

But you've written the character on a hot summer day where they are baking out of their mind.

How do you punch it up to make it better? Your KEY ideas on why they aren't moving are "Hot summer day." So punch that part up and give more specific details so people get it. So people get that it's so hot people can't move.

And when the person said the character is lazy, the commentary feels more like deprication rather than true laziness.

That's how you divine the comments. It's not well, this character needs to change the entire scene so it has more action. It's how do I do this scene better so it communicates more.

BTW, Botchan by Natsume Soseki is a masterclass in how to get your character into total inertia such that you actively hate them, but at the same time you understand them.

Tom would say something like, once you get the critiques what you do with them is up to you. Ignore them, take them, but realize that what you don't take is likely to show up as a critique later.

Seeee... both critiquing and receiving critiques makes you a better writer. I'd also argue, it makes you a better person, too.

Short anecdote.

I was on a board and this writer was complaining about this review she had which said that the clothing she had was "inaccurate" and she argued that it was an other world fantasy setting so she could do whatever she liked. And she wanted to know if she should reply and get revenge on the critiquer. A few people were comforting her and egging her on.

I pushed against it gently by asking for the specific critique lines pretty much repeating Tom's advice on how to take a critique. The critique isn't always right, you have to divine, etc.

She stated she loosely based the costumes on a particular century of clothing. So I looked it up for her. I pointed out that stays during that century had changed a lot over time and the underwear changed the outer clothing. So it was possible the person was objecting to the underwear and the outer clothing not matching. I named the pieces of underwear that had changed during that time period and pointed out there is a huge difference for us for 1990's clothes versus the next decade. And that previous eras were no different.

What she needed was someone to cold sort the comment, point out she needed to do research and point out that sometimes physics can't be explained away by an other world.

Don't argue with your critiquers. Also, stop encouraging people to do this???

She ended up deleting her entire post. If you can't take critiques. Get someone to cold sort your critiques for you.

Haha. I have an awesome self-nominated writer's assistant who refuses to be paid, even though I tried to pay her. She knows me sooo well, when she gives a critique and I'm in writer meltdown mode saying, but I could do this or do that. She says in a flat voice, "No, you're going to do this and this is why." I hide this from the public, but damn. You need people like this in your life too.

'cause as much as I'm going off on Tom's rules, I also occasionally fail them. I'm still trying to be as calm cool and collected as he appeared to be about this sort of thing.

How to Know you're getting review bombed.

The account is brand new

All of the review ratings are at extremes. No 3 star reviews.

All of the reviews are targeted.

None of them are specific about the book.

The hazards of making the writer the primary marketer such that they have to do the job of 3 people: Writer, Publicist, and Marketer. Separate your modes. Compartmentalization. Learn it. It can be healthy.

But really, go back up and read. The writer is always going to lose. The more you care about it, the more likely you're going to be review bombed. Fighting reviewers never does you any good.

Bonus Round

The person that you're worried is better than you is probably thinking the same thing about you.

In another words, it's not a battle against others.

In my Young Writer's Group, I deeply admired this guy's writing for his ideas, how he was able to cobble things together with this sort of balance. And I had this kind of feeling like I could never do what he did. I mean he had this kind of deeper detail I felt I was missing. Plus his ideas—fucking clever.

All the time he'd come up with the "obvious" idea that I wanted to be able to write. It's the kind of stuff that you go, OMG, of course.

Flat out envy on my side. And then one day, I heard him talking about how was I able to come up with so many ideas so quickly to other people in the group and that he deeply admired my ideas.

I was shocked. I thought it was one way the entire time. Of course, honor code, not typing up his name, and not typing up his ideas, but the spirit of it is this: You're in a battle against yourself. Your critiquers when you're honestly facing them, and not say, trying to get enough points to post your work, are truly helping you, but you critiquing them is also helping you.

There's still a few of his ideas I keep waiting for him to publish, so I can do spins on them. I still hope he's writing, because writing is a community effort.

Stop being intimidated by other writer's brilliance and find your own. You'll get there too. But damn, I still want to see at least two of his ideas make it onto screen/in a book. I keep looking for him. A few of my former critique partners got published. Dave, hello. And another one that too recognizable by first and last name.

If you can't take reviews, don't read them.

This comes from repeating Writing Excuses episodes–people have writer's assistants do it for them.

I had mine (self-nominated one) look up rare cat breeds... but yeah, some people have them do normal things.

Sometimes writers ask agents to filter them for them.

All you writers, stop stalking Goodreads and writing reviews about your stories/books. I know, but it's not going to do much anyway and the more you care, the more likely you're going to get review bombed or pull a Cait Corrain.

Remember, One Star reviews can be good actually

One star reviews tell you how to improve your product. The maker of Instapot in an interview said he oly reads one star reviews.

Also, sometimes one star reviews have told me that I absolutely want to buy the product in question.

If there are 10 reviews of 1 star by white reviewers saying that white writer wrote it better and it's about say, Chinese history. That says to me, I want to buy your book. I want to understand why they think it's substandard. I want to see what you did to break away from the common popular narrative.

If there are a ton of negative reviews on a product that says this item is too small but I have dinky hands and I want the product to be smaller, that's also useful to know.

One star reviews are not the end to the world. People don't go by purely star ratings. They also look at what the reviews say and how they say it and which people think that review is accurate.

One star review that says they don't know how a story about Jane Austen in Outer Space turned into a sex comedy with a tentacle squid monster? Please, please give me that book.

Stop hyper fixating on star ratings. People often will judge for themselves if it's for them or not. And you pushing back, force deleting the reviews giving that sort of guidance isn't going to help you. As Tom said, you're going to lose, so lose right.

[omnibused]

Do you have any headcanons about Em?

Okay, sorry this took me so long but I have so, so, so many and tried to trim it down. Hope this gives a little look into her character, and maybe gets me writing more about her!

General Tid-Bits and Miscellany

◇ Emerald or Em. "Gem", affectionately by her father and brother, perhaps a romantic partner. Never Emmy.

◇ She has an older brother, by three years, named Carnelian; they were inseparably close, and protective of one another, as children. She would consider him her best and closest friend.

◇ Her father gave both her and her brother their names based on how dearly he adored calling their mother, Helmi, his "little pearl".

◇ Adores muggle literature, particularly fantasy and the emerging sci-fi genre. Her current favorites are the short stories of Edgar Allan Poe and "Frankenstein, or The Modern Prometheus".

◇ Adores muggle music, particularly Chopin. She's not entirely convinced Chopin was a muggle, but it's a little fantasy she keeps to herself.

…little Em absolutely believed Chopin was a wizard, fooling muggles all along. ♡

[I've had a WIP one shot about these two for weeks I wanna' finish.]

◇ Speaks slightly-above-conversational Finnish, learned from living near her maternal grandparents in Finland, off and on. She has a noticeable accent when speaking English, as well.

◇ Prefers Italian style coffee; if not available, she'll sip cup after cup of unsweetened peppermint herbal tea.

◇ She's left-handed, and has a bit of an altered wand style for it. Her brother and father accredited her edge in dueling to it, but she pays it no mind - aside from bumping elbows at desks and dinner tables.

◇ A naturally introverted and inquisitive child, she learned much of what she knows about magical theory and history from isolating herself in the MacDougal manor library. Even if she was too afraid to put much of any of it into action without guidance.

◇ She went through a degree of homeschooling with her father, Hephaestion, and paternal relatives for a short time. However, kind as her father was, her uncles and grandparents tended to keep her at arm's length, as if she represented a break in the family's lauded pureblood status.

Family and Story Related

◇ She and her brother were both late to show any sign of their magical abilities; the latter hadn't begun to show any magical talent by the age of 9 or 10, shortly before he would have begun his formal magical instruction. Fearing there was another squib, and disappointment, in the family, their mother's brother, Aleksi, attacked the boy to hopefully "provoke" his latent abilities. While it left Carnelian with a permanently scarred face, his magical capabilities were awakened when he inadvertently propelled his uncle through a wall, in self defense. Emerald began showing proficiency in protective and defensive magic shortly after, with his help.

◇ Helmi, their mother, was born a Squib into a pureblood family - her bitterness was passed off on her kids, especially her son. Her family let her stay, but weren't particularly proud of her, and rarely spoke of her in any company.

◇ Carnelian was sent to attend Durmstrang, nearer their maternal grandparent’s home, at 11 - rather against their father’s wishes. He cited his discomfort with their admittance of the dark arts in their curriculum, as reason for his hesitance.

[I HC Durmstrang is somewhere in western Russia, myself, since there’s no absolute canonical location.]

◇ Their grandfather claimed to "know the headmaster" when pushing for the children’s enrollment at Durmstrang, whether or not that was true was never really uncovered. He was, most likely, lying.

◇ Emerald attended Durmstrang for her first year of formal magical education, but was swiftly withdrawn by her father afterward. Her regular owls home confirmed his fears at what the school taught its students.

◇ Hephaestion attempted to withdraw Carnelian as well, but Helmi and her family protested strongly and thwarted his efforts. Em and her father returned to Scotland, where her mother and brother (presumably) stayed with her family in Finland.

◇ Em's father paused her homeschooling to meet with his wife and in-laws to speak about her, and their son, returning with him. He was gone for several months, and still returned alone - talk of Em enrolling in Hogwarts began, then. Her father always had a defeated sort of air about him, after that. 

◇ Em and Carnelian wrote to one another nearly every day when he went off to Durmstrang, and even after her father withdrew her and they became separated. They remained in consistent contact up until her enrollment at Hogwarts. After a single letter of congratulations, she hasn't heard anything from her brother in months.

◇ She wrote to him, nevertheless, through her fifth (and first) year at Hogwarts - including the trials and tribulations regarding the discovery of her new ability. Even if the owl would always bring them back unopened, or she never sent them at all, it helped her to process her feelings as so much began happening around her at once.

…that and she always wrote that things would be so much better handled were he in her place, instead. Her confidence and skill more than quadrupled over the course of the year, thankfully.

~◇~ I also have this headcanon where her brother would return to Scotland around 3 years after finishing his formal education, and apply to be a professor (even just an assistant at first) at Hogwarts. It would be during his sister's 7th and final year in school, and the beginning of their happy reunion. Because I absolutely want them back together and part of one another's lives and happiness forever. ❤️

Whether or not there'd be any interest in reading it is one thing, but I so want to write it.

Thank you so, so much!!

[wench-and-jezebel]

NCIS Reaction: Minimum Security

Wench (@scripted-downfall) reacts.  At a later time period, and without having seen Wench’s reaction, Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts.  Comparisons may be made as a result.

“If my old man finds out I’ve been biking with you, he’ll kill us both” “I’ll get you a ride.”  Sounds like they might not just have been biking, if’n ya know what I mean.

[“Don’t get your thong in a twist”]

“What if he doesn’t stop?”  “Oh, he’ll stop.”  Buddy, I’m not sure I’d be so certain about that

Ohhhhh, the poor bike :(((( 

I understand him being pissed about the bike, for real.

That doesn’t change the fact that the guy’s already dead, I bet y- [Aghhhhh’ ☠️☠️☠️  Well he ain’t gonna be wishing shit lol]  WHAT DID I SAY!!!  (Should I start keeping a prediction counter?  I think I should.  Prediction Success: 1)

[Aight imma say it. Gibbs is handsome.  There I said it.  Add it to my weird list]  I don't get this one, but that's not much of a surprise to me these days alksdjf  [Idk it’s his smile. Kinda Tom cruise-y but 🤷🏻‍♀️]

I love the sections of the intro belonging to Tony and Abby.  His lil wave?  Her lil jump?  So cute.

Blegh.  BLEGHHHH.  “RUN THE GUT FOR ME.”  BLEH.

Ducky’s assistant’s name is Gerald, btw.

If not gallbladder stones, then… Diamond smuggler?

“They’re stones, doc.”  Diamonds looking possible.

Oh, come on!!!  EMERALDS???? 

[Emeralds.  Well shit]

I’m so annoyed now.  I think diamonds should count.  The point was there; “gemstones” was the correct answer.  I just didn’t get the exact gem right.  Hmph.  Now I’m unhappy.  You know what?!  I got the gemstone part right, so.  (Prediction Success: 1.5)

I also got the smuggling part right, so… (Prediction Success: 2.5)

[God I’m glad Tony brought his hair back forward.  The slicked back wasn’t it.] Agree.

Tony being linguistically pedantic makes me happy; I relate

TONY BEING SO HAPPY ABOUT GOING TO CUBA MAKES ME SO HAPPY TOO!!!  HIS CACKLE?!!?!  MY BELOVED. [Tony is so happy]  (Same Brain Cell — SBC — Count: 1)

[Sir how many times you gonna swap which way you’re wrapping that cord]

Oof, NCIS agent is involved.

“The women I date think the smell of sawdust is sexy.  That’s probably why I don’t date many women.”  Gibbs.  Ma’am.  Excuse you.  Sawdust is amazing.  The smell is awesome.  I would not date Gibbs, but the sawdust is not the issue.

All of these characters spilling Gibbs’ coffee… damn, what a waste.

“The Navy’s giving us a priority ride today.”  TONY FINALLY GETS HIS PRIVATE JET RIDE!  He looks so disbelieving; he’s adorable.

Oh.  Okay, apparently it’s not a private jet ride, and is very uncomfortable, but still.

OH.  Apparently it is a private jet ride.  HAH!

Dude, this looks like the Criminal Minds jet.  [It looks like the criminal minds plane] (SBC Count: 2)

Gibbs bemoaning the comfortable seating because it’s not uncomfortable; madam, calm yourself.  A little comfort will not harm you.

Poor Tony, keeps getting his hopes up about the trip, only to have them dashed.  Then again, the last times this happened, things were then better than he expected, so maybe he’ll get his horseback riding et al. after all!

Okay, I suppose I should have said: Oof, NCIS agent might be involved.

NO BUT TONY PULLING UP THE AIRPLANE STATS ON THE TOUCHSCREEN IS SO RELATABLE; I DO THAT ALL THE TIME.  Whenever I fly (very rare occurrence), I always stare at the air temperature and watch it change alsdkjf. Gibbs actually looked vaguely annoyed-but-endeared, and I approve.

“Anthony DiNozzo”  Whoa, we’re being fancy

[HES CHEESING SO HARD. i can’t even]

[I love her hair cut]

I know she said “there’s a map in it”, but my subtitles got cut off and it reads “there’s a man in it”

Y’all are really not being subtle, ngl.

“So, is there something going down that I should know about?” SEE?!?!?!

Wow, they were even more unsubtle than I thought.

[I half-remember this one]

That scene change was… abrupt.

I like Tony’s shirt.

Are Kate and Tony gonna bicker over room placement

I KNEW IT.  (Prediction Success: 3.5)

Kate saying Tony’s sexist in past episodes and also being the character who pulls the “I’m a woman” excuse more often than anyone to get her way

[I love Abby]

Are they still bickering over room placement

Please tell me Gibbs takes the room they were fighting over

WHAT DID I SAY; HE REALLY WENT AND DID THAT! I’M ON A ROLL (Adding two becuase they were still bickering over room placement btw.  Prediction Success: 5.5) [He took the bed with the bath I love it]  (SBC Count: 3)

[Tony.  You child.  I love it]

IGUANAAAAAA.  [Oh man, iguana]  (SBC Count: 4)

Poor Tony aksdjflkasjdf. Pulling his gun on the iguana.  [HALT]

To be fair, if I woke up with a strange lizard on my pillow, two inches away from sleep-clogged eyes, I might flip out too.  Especially since it was hissing.

[The wink at the fact Tony sleeps in the nude, though.  Kate!  You dog!]

Kinda poor Benjamin, but also.  He seems annoying.

I love Abby’s choker.  And her gloves.  (My brother bought my sister fingerless gloves and didn’t get me any and now I’m left mourning what could have been.). Abby’s are still cooler than my sister’s though.

I know this dude… OH.  HE’S THE MUSEUM CURATOR IN THE MUMMY ISN’T HE

Tony being followed by the iguana saldkfj 

[That iguana staring him down. He like what he saw in bed lol]

“Might want to keep that door shut; iguanas’ve been known to wander inside”. Yes.  Tony knows.

[Tony’s whole damn looks change with his hairstyles]

I love the word “rapport”

“Did I say both of you?”  “Well, you didn’t not say both of us.”  “She’s kinda got a point there, boss.”  The Kate-and-Tony-versus-Gibbs interaction I always knew we needed.

btw, Tony calling Gibbs “boss” is adorable

Ooh, Gibbs, why you having Kate stay, huh?

Did.  Did they just randomly time-skip from him leaving to him coming back?  I’m confused.  [Did the video time skip… did it go from Tony leaving to Tony being back]  (SBC Count: 5)

[Lord Tony’s gonna be out there dancing ☠️]

“Shane.”  “Who’s Shane?”  “Alan Ladd.”  “Who’s Alan Ladd?”  BUDDY

“Why aren’t you praying?”  Don’t assume, Ka-  WHAT DID I SAY.  “I’m Presbyterian.”

IS HE ASKING ABOUT SHANE- I LOVE IT

“Oh, you young people don’t know what good movies are.”  Speaking as a person on the younger end of the gamut while still having been raised on classics, I can attest that modern audiences have suffered in movie quality.  In my opinion, at least.

“‘Splat’ isn’t violent?”  Love you, Tony.

“Are you here to check me out?”  Flirtatiously: “Define ‘checking out.’”  I SEE YOU, TONY

Buddy’s not even subtle rn, is he?  That was blatant flirtation.

[Tony. You blew that one]

I feel like pulling out Paula has some serious risks attached.  Yeah, she might be dirty, but she might not be, and her rapport is being screwed up as a result.

Tony playing the desperate flirt at the bar over here.

[She came back]

“If you don’t like me, then why do you keep coming over here for refills.”  “I like the game.”. “Me too.”  ngl, really hoping she’s not corrupt because the banter is decent.  And since McGee isn’t in this one, I’ve gotta take the repartee where I can get it.

 BUDDY GETS HIS DANCEEEE.  Tony, I’m so proud.

OOP-  That spin was slick; Tony, I commend you

— — — 

Stopping here because we’re at a scene change for the midpoint reaction!

I confess I’ve not much to say… It very much annoys me that this show has been very guilty-until-proven-innocent, without many instances where that changes; I mean, just from what springs to mind, there was the episode where the group was convinced the kid committed suicide; the naval folks were taking drugs; and now this, the ep where they’re all assuming that Cassidy is dirty from the fact that the vic had her (his coworker’s) male in her care.  They always assume, even when it’s illogical to do so, that the obvious is factual.  And I think that’s part of why I keep making predictions to the contrary, tbh.  I want them to be wrong because I want them to face their illogic each time, instead of getting lucky.  (But, I recognize, sometimes they’ll be right even if their logic isn’t sound, so I guess that’s fair.). Anyway, I want Cassidy to be innocent because of that, even if it doesn’t make sense given the story, but I’m not making that a prediction.

Mourning McGee’s absence; appreciating Kate and Tony, and Gibbs is not bad.  On we go!

— — —

I’m cringing just thinking about swallowing those emeralds; they look sharp.

Okay, I’m sorry, but I’m vaguely suspicious of museum-curator-translater dude.  Like, ever since I saw Shutter, where Ben’s lying to Jane about what the photo shaman dude was saying?  I never trust that translators are adequately conveying the message.  Call me cynical, but ‘tis true.

Tony dancing with Cassidy is so cute, I’m sorry.

Damn, Gibbs, be even more blunt about it why don’t you; that wasn’t harsh enough

Iffy acting, but I can’t tell if it’s actress or character

She really shouldn’t just hand over her apartment keys, I’m reasonably confident.

Tony looks vaguely conflicted about having to search Cassidy’s apartment

IGUANA.  [IGUANA]  (Damn, that one was blatant; SBC Count: 6)

“You were so excited coming to Cuba and riding on the jet” It’s true, Kate, he was adorably excited.

“You were the first woman I saw on my ‘endorphin high.’”  “Yeah, well.  We work together, Tony.  It’s like a brother-sister thing.”  Ma’am clearly has not seen any of the countless films, shows, fics, and irl interactions that feature in-office romances.  

WAIT NO I’M AN IDIOT; SHE HAD AN IN-OFFICE ROMANCE?!?!?!  IN THE PILOT?!!??! MA’AM, WDYM?!?!

“You might wanna take that chip of your shoulder”  Oh, of course, no problem; of course it’s okay that you searched my mail and my apartment and so on.  Not a difficulty at all.

“He blew his chance to get laid”  Oh, come on, Cassidy, it’s not Tony’s fault.  [He blew his chance to get laid. Poor Tony ☠️]  (SBC Count: 7)

Oh, are we back to terrorists again?  How.  Unique.  [TERRORISTTTTS]  (Okay, that counts.  SBC Count: 8)

Gibbs once again being vinegar-not-honey.

DAMN ABBY YOU’RE EXPENSING A LOT I SEE  [Abby ☠️☠️ racking up a bill] (SBC Count: 9)

Tony’s hair is floppy.

Did he notice that she had “Escada” perfume?  

I KNEW IT.  (Prediction Success: 6.5)

“Horizontal salsa” alksdjf ["Horizontal salsa"]  (SBC Count: 10)

I reallyyyyy want Cassidy to be good now that they’re giving Tony so much shit for caring about her.  [Tony’s done got smitten over one dance.  Buddy. 💕 *sigh*]

“Romance between agents, Kate.  It never works.”  Sir, shush.  Even if you’re speaking from experience, that proves nothing.  You’re not exactly easy to get along with. [And the romance between agents never working is coming off as an asshole rule/thought. BUT HE ISN'T WRONG AS FAR AS THE SHOW GOES]

I know my comment about the translations was about museum-curator-guy, but I maintain that it counts as half a prediction success since Sa’id was doing exactly that: not translating the whole conversation.   (Prediction Success: 7)

Abby and Ducky, again; I love you both.

[Ducky’s mother!]

DUCKYYYYY.  OMG, SIR!?!?!?  YOU’RE HILARIOUS, YOU SCANDALOUS DOG!  [You… dog? 👀]  (SBC Count: 11)

[Easter eggs ☠️☠️]

“My cursor has moved across places that would make Tony blush.”  Not Tony looking appraising!

IGUANA.

Protective!Tony is adorable.

Jeez, Gibbs, be harsher why don’t you; that wasn’t enough.

Cassidy, I stuck up for you, and now you be mean to Tony?  To make yourself look good?  Once again, these people need to stop tearing down their fellows as a means of increasing their own status.  I’m actually getting annoyed again by this.  [Tonyyyyyyy ☹️☹️☹️  “He bought my act.”  I hateeee the sad tony eps.  There’s a few.  Be prepared.]  (Does this count as SBC?)

Poor Tony.  [Poor Tony. “She’s good.” Tony’s face. Ya I agree 💔💔]  (That does.  SBC Count: 12)

“Eyes always give you away”  Poor Tony :(  [Sass tony! Get her GET HER (Eyes always give ya away)]  (SBC Count: 13)

[And she has the AUDACITY to look at him like a kicked puppy]  Like I said.  Don’t be mean to your allies to make yourself look good.

I. Do not trust this.  I’m waiting for her to pull an Elizabeth-from-24 and not go along with the plan.  Get pissed and try to kill him, or screw up the plan.

Tbh, I’m glad that didn’t happen.  I didn’t appreciate it in 24 (only partly because it was Misha who got attacked as a result), and I wouldn’t have appreciated it here.

“There.  Right there.”  I didn’t realize this was Legally Blonde: the Musical.

I’m impressed he didn’t notice the wire yet.

Did I mention, yet?  Poor Tony.

This situation was astoundingly mishandled, ngl.  [Damn plan backfired]  

[Well the back fire backfired also]  Literally lakdsfj

Poor Tony :(((  [Tonyyyyy]  (I’m counting that one too.  SBC Count: 14)

I appreciate Kate trying to help Tony.

Also, just saying, Tony is quite dashing in the suit.

TONY.  HE FINALLY GOT TO SHOW OFF THE TECHNOLOGY TO SOMEONE WHO APPRECIATED IT!!!  My goodness, he’s so adorable.

[Well his smile’s back at least.]

And that’s a wrap!

– – –

For the endpoint reaction… Be warned that I’m writing this with a killer headache (hah, pun unintended), so I’m not sure it’s 100% coherent, and it might be a bit short.

I’m glad that Cassidy wasn’t involved because, as I’ve said, they’ve got a bad habit of having snap judgements they make at the beginning be right all the way through to the end.  Unfortunately, this was about the most logical snap judgement of the series thus far, so I’m also vaguely annoyed it wasn’t right.  I’m deciding to wash my hands of it because it’s not like the characters will actually learn, but oh, well.

The writing was decent, I suppose?  Highly, highly lost as to how the hell emerald smuggling turned into terrorists again, but… I’ve given up on trying to track it.  I will say: there’s a slight possibility that reacting simultaneously to the ep is causing me not to notice stuff?  Or to track the plot?  But I doubt it.  I’m still good with Dark Angel, after all, and following it is easy.  But I guess I’ll just wait until we watch something else to decide; I legitimately cannot be sure whether the bad writing would be a little better if I were just watching it straight.  (Pretty sure not though.)

Gibbs was an asshole again, but not enough that I’m currently fuming about it, I suppose.  Kate was good; I liked her.  Abby and Ducky continue to be awesome.  McGee was notably missing, which is sad, but oh, well.

Summary of this ep: Tony deserved better.

Final thoughts as I type the end of this reaction: The chances I don't write something about this ep… Low.

[jenny-from-the-bau]

No no. No one knew it was me per se just that someone thought it was presumptuous to be an emoji anon??? Idk. Felt called out, HAH.

Oh. Supercorp fics are insane. I only read the full on Russian literature novel length ones (200k+) and I’m shocked at how many there are. A single chapter is the length of the avg. whole Jemily fic. I w i s h there were more novel-length Jemily fics. But at the same time I think it goes to show that even the novella length Jemily fics are so well written like yours for example that readers like me don’t feel like we’re missing out. Like right now I swear May I Approach was long. Like creeping onto 100k at the least but it’s barely over 30k??? That gem of a fic????? I’m in awe.

Haha we’ve all been there… Watching something for a girl we liked lmao. It’s interesting you said you find a wlw ship fairly quickly. I think for me it’s when I’m watching the actual show I can’t imagine anything and just take it for face value. Then I read a single fic and my brain goes back and rethinks every single little thing and it goes haywire into creating headcanons and ideas lol.

Any personal wishes for the Emily storylines? I really don’t expect them to make her gay. And if they ruin her character while making it happen, I’d just rather them not. What do you like about Evolution?

Okay, that person can fuck right off. It helps ME to put emojis. My brain doesn't connect the dots. Like right now, I don't even know which emoji anon you were 😮‍💨 Help an autistic bitch out lmao

Hahaha I love love love long fics and wish there were more Jemily ones! I gotta do everything myself around here! Jk jk jk

Oh, I've always picked a fav character and a gay ship hahaha I had a fav barney kid when I was young. I find that if I can't find a wlw ship in a show, then there's a problem with how the show writes women lmao I also started reading fanfic when I was 11, so that probably has something to do with my little fandom brain haha

I'd love for her to be a mom! Imagine Emily suddenly being in charge of an unruly teenager haha mostly I just want to know what her apartment looks like and what she does in her (rare) free time.

I like Evolution a lot! It's annoying that they still can't get their facts straight (there are no rest stops in Silver Spring), but I loved seeing JJ's home life and Tara's romance. I also liked the longer ac with shorter cases in each ep. I think it let them flesh things out more and build a more interesting unsub. Also, I liked how hot everyone was!!! We stan "older" hotties lol

[haeyeongs]

hi there, your secret santa here... im so sorry i'm just now messaging you for the first time... life has been a bit wild these days.

i hope you're doing well and excited for the upcoming holidays!

i know you're all about the ladies so i'm curious what some of your favorite female friends or female-driven dramas are?

~ your kdrama secret santa

hi love!! omg don't be sorry about not messaging me earlier, it's ok!!

and yess i'm really excited for the upcoming holidays! i've also almost finished my school semester so i have a few weeks off uni ♡ (there are still a few finals coming in january but they won't need too much studying so i can relax for now). i really hope you're doing well too! i know december can be tough for a lot of people so i'm sending you lots of love

ooh female driven dramas and female friendships...

the first drama that comes to my mind is work later, drink now because its second season is currently airing! this is a fun and silly show that isn’t perfect but the friendship they share is nicely written and they they’d do anything for each other.  yesterday i watched an interview with the writer and she explained that the trio was strongly inspired by her own friend group..... and that makes sense!! you can feel that the characters were written with love and tenderness

then, there’s of course age of youth and be melodramatic! i feel like age of youth became a classic and i believe it deserves all the love! be melodramatic is like its older version with 30-ish leads instead of uni students. i rarely laugh when watching shows but both got me laughing out loud. actually, some eps even made me scream of laughter! 

i can’t talk about female friendships without mentioning na heedo and go yurim from twenty-five, twenty-one... i know a lot of people hated the drama because of the main couple’s ending but to me the real duo of the drama was the two girls and their relationship was so beautifully written... honestly, every drama i’ve seen with bona as a lead actress had awesome female friendships! i can feel she’s all for the girlies?? i’ve already mentioned twenty-five twenty one but she was also in girls’ generation 1979* (an underrated gem, i wish more people would watch it!!!) and in your house helper (i’d rec this one for people who liked be melodramatic, although it’s less funny). she’s an idol actress so you’d expect her to play forgettable characters but she manages to always pick very interesting roles so i’m closely following her carreer as an actress! ♡

omg i didn’t mean to talk so much........ fzeklfjzfgé do you agree with those faves? if you also like female-driven dramas and great female friendships in dramas, i’d love to hear about your own favorites! (i mostly watch kdramas but if you have any recs from other countries i’d be glad to hear about them!)

*i need to say that one of the lead actors is lee jong hyun (ex-member of cn blue) and that he was part of the burning sun scandal. it’s one of my favorite drama and even if the main roles are the two girls, he’s still part of the lead cast. i don’t want to promote this drama without mentioning this

[fujunfuren]

[re: cheer up]

I thought Yoomin was dead. I loved her scenes before she actually showed up. The scene where she gets hit by the light and the scene where (in ep1 or ep2) Jung Woo goes to his office, sees her, the sound of squeaky door and boom she gets hit again... I loved the edit of these two. In terms of suspense, these two and the ending of ep1 were great to me (sound effects and video editing were good👍) and made me excited about the potential death issue. But not anymore. Now I'm unexcitedly waiting for immature/jealous villain(s) to be revealed so that we can move on. :D

Romance is a bit rushed, too. I wasn't comfortable with the captain taking her out to for a drink as an apology (I loved how she was staring at him on the bus stop tho~~~). I'd be totally okay if there was no romance. I think he is fine as a captain and being so already inspires Dae Yi a lot. Crush is cute, too. Finally she has something that flutters her heart-- other than food and money. Mutual feelings would follow a bit later. But now they're at it, I want to see Jung Woo to fully accept and have feelings, I'm curious~~

I'm also curious about how he will handle the policy issue. Please, writers, don't make it boring.

About Dae Yi's brother... Wow, he is a hidden gem :D Hope to see him more! My guess is that she had a call from her mother about his brother and she rushed outside for him (though she didn't look much stressed when Jung Woo finally found her). We'll see tomorrow.

There are too many jealous and immature people in this drama, it gets boring. Especially, Min Jae. The character doesn't have to be made this annoying. I feel upset about it. He probably will a have ~redemption~ through socializing and receiving love etc. But yeah, still boring.

The twins! I like So Yoon, her random comments and English! :D She also looks like she needs a bit more socializing like Min Jae (but doesn't throw tantrums -_-). I can't wait to see more about her story.

See, there is a lot to discuss!

Buddyyyyyyyyy 🌻😘

look at you going off with all the details. obviously you pay more attention and use more brains than me and I love that for you! I'm just watching it, head empty lolol. First off , thank you for all these cos it does reminded me of scenes that I put behind the back of my head.

That first 2 eps of showing yoomin and the spooky vibes got me but then they keep saying she never contacted so I was like oh she's not dead yet and knew she was gonna appear somehow to either be added for suspense or the boring route would be to be a love rectangle now (?) lmao.

I think the romance part is okay for me, pace wise haha. We know jungwoo doesnt like her in that way yet, he cares and worries for her a lot. So yes! curious to see how he'll embrace it when he's sure he likes her likes her hehehe. generally im not that fond of the drinking culture there, but it is their culture and seems like drinking solves all issues in dramas hahha.

Same! I think she received a call from her mom about her brother injured, nothing too serious since she was calm when jungwoo found her. but i wanna know her brother's story! hope they showed more. we have 16 eps more than ample time lol.

Minjae is a petty child, sunbae is annoying hahahha i am curious to know who is the suspicious person tho. But I hope it's not dragged half heartedly till the very end. i dont have high hopes, i just wish it would stay fun until then.

The twins are cute! very rare for a drama to make sure every character they introduced to have a nice coverage of their arcs :\ so we'll see~~

[sugareey-makes-stuff]

I am stoked to wish @thebooktopus a very happy birthday with a nameplate and a rec list! Maddy deserves all the love in the world for being such an amazing person who lifts others up. It must have been late last year/early this year when I started seeing her pop in regularly via various Discord servers (and she also mods a few too!). When @anaxandria-writes recced a Maddy fic and invited her to the Wizarding Creators Den (where we were getting hyped about said fic being complete), I was super excited! Once Maddy and I got to know each other and realised we both loved Drarry AND so many rare pairs, the rest was history. Let’s be honest: Maddy is a true sport when it comes to cheerleading and supporting so many people. She’s sweet, passionate and easy-going as an alpha and a beta. Right off the bat, you can tell Maddy loves stories and ideas, and she wants to help fellow creators out. She’s engaged, and since she’s an avid reader of many things, that offers a wonder opportunity for new, beautiful friendships to form. If you want someone to scream about your work (WIP or finished), Maddy is your person! Her insights on everything are also optimistic and heartfelt. It’s all in the comments she leaves for people. She’s thoughtful in what she says, and you can feel the appreciation and enthusiasm she has for each work she reads/views. I'm sure folks who have gotten comments and tags from her know what I’m talking about. Her words truly mean a lot. Can we talk about Maddy’s gorgeous recs? YES, because there are sooo many good ones! These always brighten up my day when I see them on my dashboard. Her recs have been one way I’ve been able to find, read and add fics to my TBR list. I also think Maddy has a special superpower to read and absorb all the things, because the time and effort it takes to keep up and make monthly recs is impressive and labour-intensive. She’s currently killing it with Game of Drarry fic recs right now, and you can see ALL of her recs here. ALSO, her Mutuals March project. OMG. Maddy was a gem to go through so many creators’ works to shine a spotlight on each one of them. This must have been a beast of a project to take on, yet what a delight was it to see so many works I haven’t seen before! I thought it was a brilliant project when I first heard about, and little did I know that Maddy would surprise me by going through my works, showering them with comments AND giving me my own post. I have never had anyone do that for me before, and this just shows how kind Maddy is to make people feel like their work matters to fandom. Since then, Maddy has become one of my regular supporters, and I’m grateful and lucky to call her a friend. While I’ve been challenging myself to make and approach new projects in different ways (whether it be ships, mediums, formats, or even writing more one-shots and writing a bunch of microfics), Maddy’s encouragement has always been so uplifting. She has made me realise I am better than I give myself credit for, that my work is unique, and that I should run with that. So, that’s what I’m doing! If Maddy doesn’t have a full plate already, she made HP Next Gen Fest happen this year (which just finished posting) to spread the love for alll the next gen ships. Andddd of course, she’s a writer who has written some excellent Drarry fics and rare pair stories! Maddy has a way of embracing humour, flirting, fluff and sass all in on go, which makes character dynamics fun yet sexy! Quite of few of her fics have made me go down some rabbit holes and wanting more. Here are some of my fav Maddy fics: 🦑 >>> The Dragon Tamer & The Snake Slayer (Charlie/Neville, E, 17.7k)

Summary:  Professor Neville Longbottom has an unfortunate crush on his newest colleague, Charlie Weasley. Charlie, who is pure magic personified, even in a wizarding world. Whose scars and laughter make Neville come undone. Charlie, who could never be interested in Neville... right?

Remember that Maddy fic rec I mentioned above? THIS IS IT. I did not know I needed this fic until I read it, and gods, I love Herbtamer more now. There’s a wonderful acknowledgement to demisexuality, an excellent use of consent, and the energy between Neville and Charlie’s friendship is so warm. Also, these two mesh so well together that they fit like pieces of a puzzle, as they should. 🐙 >>> Let Me Count the Ways (Drarry, E, 3.6k)

Summary: Intimacy comes in many forms. Draco wants to explore them all with Harry.

OKAY. This is such a beautiful and well-written fic for sooo many reasons. What an amazing take on asexuality, and I adore how Draco wants to make everything so good for Harry. They’re both so soft, and full of sooo mannnyy feelings. All of their actions and words are enough to prove that they absolutely love each other. Seeing all the ways their relationship changes over time will make you melt into a puddle. If you want some sexy fluff, go read this!| 🦑 >>> Are Those Drugs in Your System, or Are You Just Happy to See Me?  (Drarry, T, 1.3k)

Summary: While Harry is out on patrol on New Year's Eve, he stumbles (literally) into Draco. When their eyes meet, Harry is immediately concerned - why are Draco's pupils so wide? Is he high? Nope. Turns out he's just in love.

What a sweet and fun read! If you want some classic Drarry banter, you’ve got it in here. Also, Draco is absolutely precious, blunt and sassy, just the way we like him. Such a wonderful take on a NYE fic. 🐙 >>> Life After Quidditch (Flintwood, E, 11k)

Summary: After a career-ending injury, Oliver Wood is forced to take an early retirement. And what does early retirement look like for famous Quidditch players? The charity circuit. Galas, bake sales, auctions—you name it, Oliver’s agent had signed him up for it. Oliver didn’t know what to expect from this new life, but it certainly wasn’t Marcus Flint popping up at every turn. Or for him to be friendly and welcoming, unwilling to let Oliver stew in his self-loathing. Or for him to look so good in yoga pants. Or to fall for the git.

The way Maddy writes Flintwood is outstanding, and this fic does not disappoint. She has such a way of bringing in teasing, humour and all the UST together when it comes to Oliver and Marcus. Their banter is spot on, and I also love how these two have changed as people since school. Of course, Oliver tries to figure out how the world still exists when Marcus isn’t antagonising him (aka Marcus has other ways to push Oliver’s buttons that doesn’t involve fist fights). And the charity events? Hilarious. 10000% worth the read to see how these two get together, and for all the clever lines and flirting. You can find more of Maddy’s work on AO3. Make sure to leave kudos and comments to show appreciation for her fandom contributions. Maddy, you are truly special and one of a kind. Thank you again for spreading so much love and for making so many people feel seen and cared for. I hope you have a wonderful day!

[intrinsic-damnation]

I hope you enjoy the brief synopsis of what Remembrance will be about.

DEMO TBA

The Guardians. 

It was a name that evoked the feeling of protection in the innocent. A gentle touch across your cheek as the bitterness of the world tries to swallow you whole. It was a name that promised protection from all things that threatened to diminish your light. 

A promise that you used to believe in-- until now. 

Until you were cast aside like yesterday's trash. 

You were one of them once--a Guardian sworn to protect the innocent people of Earth-- until you were in the wrong place at a very wrong time. 

In that one moment you lost everything that ever mattered to you. Everything that you had worked for your entire life. 

Your reputation. 

Your family.

Your team. 

Thrown into a cell, with the key tossed away, you were left to rot for a crime you didn’t commit. A crime where the true perpetrators were still out there plotting. Just waiting for their time to strike. 

You didn’t know if you would ever see the light of day again. Didn’t know if you’d ever feel the gentle breeze across your face once more. That is until you were called on once more to protect the innocent people of Earth. 

Only this time you’d be working with a team of people that you helped put away. 

The clock is ticking. 

Callan Jones (AKA-- Aberration): A master thief that can get into almost anything completely undetected. A ghost in all but his physical form, Callan tends to keep to the shadows. Sharp hazel eyes watching the room for any opening he could exploit. Dark brown hair falling over his eyes in a shaggy mess that he rarely ever straightens. Age 30.

Eirene Sinclair (AKA-- Tempest): The leader of the Guardians who apprehended you as you tried to escape. Normally a woman that has a gentle smile on her face, you could never forget the look of complete heartbreak within her gaze as the cuffs were snapped on your wrists. Forest green eyes shimmering like precious gems under any light and golden brown hair falling to her shoulders in gentle waves. Age 33. 

Drake Thomas (AKA-- Exodus): He was a new recruit when you were arrested. Someone that you could tell would go far given enough time and practice. You weren’t surprised that he was one of the highest ranking officials within the Guardians now. Dark brown skin seemingly pulls in all the light of the room. Honey brown eyes glinting with various emotions as his curly black hair falls over his eyebrows. Age 28.

Natasha Solovyova (AKA-- Huntress): One of the more unhinged members of the cast. Natasha is someone that will do anything in order to complete a mission. She’s someone you do not wish to meet in a dark alley ever. Platinum blonde hair falls in loose curls to her shoulder blades-- paired with her sky blue eyes-- it gives off an air of innocence. Something that she does not have. Age 31. 

Customizable MC - choose your gender, sexuality, name, appearance, skills, and personality (there is a based personality though).

Character-driven, romance-focused story.

Can you forget your past to move on to your future?

Allow your unique experience to shape your skills.

In a world filled with superheroes and villains, figure out how you fit in. 

Fall in love with 1 of 4 love interests.

[beautifulhigh]

I'm catching up on Tumblr - some rare downtime on this holiday which is supposed to be all about me having downtime! - so I'm pretty sure it's not fic writer appreciation day anymore. But every day should be fic writer appreciation day so there's that.

I was tagged by @sapphire11​ who is a gem for still tagging me in things, even when I take an age to get around to them.

My favourite five of my fics

1. The tender things are those we fold away (911 Lone Star, Tarlos)

That had been a surprise, a good one. An amazing one, really, and something Carlos had privately cherished for years. New York Firefly became someone who had made a difference to his life and Carlos would carry that gratitude with him for the rest of his life, along with the knowledge that this was some random guy on the internet who posted pictures and videos on a website which was infamous for its explicit content. He was some firefighter in New York, being himself and being amazing while doing it.

Except he wasn't.

New York Firefly, the man who'd changed Carlos' whole life and outlook without even realising it, was TK Strand and he was sitting in Carlos' living room.

And Carlos wasn't quite sure how he was still remembering to breathe.

The fic I wrote in a week because the Discord crew made a comment about TK having an Only Fans account. This was so much fun to write and I loved playing in the season 1 timeline.

2. Life, believe, is not a dream, so dark as sages say (911 Lone Star, 126 fire fam with a side of Tarlos)

Carlos had gotten to know TK intimately well over the last few years, in more ways than one. He knew how to read the slope of his shoulders to know if he was angry, sad, or overwhelmed. He knew how his mouth quirked up when he was teasing or playful or flirty, he knew how his chest flared with pride or defiance. He had seen him suffering and joyous and every emotion in between. Even from halfway across the room, seeped in the situation they were, he could read TK. He knew that look of horror and realisation, knew that TK understood something that he didn't.

He wished they could talk, swap notes on the situation. They were always better problem solving together, even when the issue wasn't in the other's area of expertise. TK had listened to Carlos talk through situations and cases he'd been involved with over the years; Carlos had listened while TK had talked about procedures and treatment options for patients in the field. They'd learned from each other in that time which had been half the reason he'd been confident to help treat Kyle's wound.

He wondered if TK had a plan, or an idea of what was coming next. If they could talk then maybe they could work it out, he could help or do something to get everyone out of here. The itch within him to help was almost unbearable: he was more than his career but it was also part of who he was.

He wondered if TK was as scared for him, as he was for TK.

Ah, the bank fic. God this one was hard going but it was so much fun to publish it and to see people enjoy the action and drama. I loved working out how each of the characters could play to their strengths, how they could work together, all when they weren’t able to talk to each other.

3. In the burned house I am eating breakfast (911 Lone Star, Tarlos - Carlos centric)

“Please don’t tell anyone,” Carlos says, his eyes wide with fear. “I’m not ready for people to know but you were going on about us maybe getting together and I love you but not like that and I couldn’t not tell you and—”

“Carlos, it’s OK,” Jessica says. “I won’t tell anyone, I promise.”

“Thank you.”

“Do you think your parents will OK with it?”

“I think so,” he says. “I hope so.”

Jessica leans in and gives him a hug but she doesn’t smell like he remembers. She smells of smoke and something metallic and she’s cold and hard to the touch.

“You need to work out what you want,” she says in a voice that isn’t hers.

God the love I have for this fic is feral. Rafa made the comment about wanting Carlos getting hurt on the way to the wedding, we all want a Carlos Begins, and my brain went “hey, how about we have them both?” and this was the result. Written in one day because the idea was just there, fully formed, and I just love it. A lot.

4. Rumours (Emmerdale, Robron)

"No.  Pat... my real mum, she was Divinus.  The crash killed her outright, that's why she died, and she never got a chance to tell Dad what I was.  But Mum – Sarah – she knew.  She saw some of the symptoms I guess.  She cut her hand on a knife and I just... fixed it.  Didn't think twice about it apparently, just held her hand and fixed it.  I don't remember much about what I did, but I just remember looking at the cut on her finger and seeing what the problem was, knowing I could put things back together.

"After that she took me to the doctor's and they confirmed it."

"You make it sound like an illness: symptoms and doctors."

"Curse more like," Robert said sadly.  "This isn't something I wanted, Aaron. I've worked so hard to not let this define who I am.  I don't want to be the Divinus everyone says they know, I don't want people to see me as a commodity or a secret weapon.  But like I said to you yesterday, I just want to be myself now, with you.  And this is who I am.  What I am."

My Emmerdale Big Bang fic and the longest one I’ve ever written. The world building I did for this fic, the detail and planning that went into it, the fact that so many places in this fic (especially the places in Ireland where I am right now) are real places. I put months into this fic and I’m still really proud of it.

5. Exponential (Emmerdale, Robron with a Robert focus)

6.

"Why do I feel like you're always hiding something?" she asks.

"Because you don't trust me," Robert replies.  "And without trust we can't survive."

It's always easier when it's always their fault.

Speaking of being proud of a fic, this one was the most technically challenging. I remember driving to work one morning, mulling over the concept I had of writing a fic to explore Robert’s bisexuality and the impact it had on him and his relationships over the years. And then I had this line about how his love for Aaron just kept growing exponentially. Which then turned into a structural idea where each part would have a word count double of the last part. And so it went, exponentially.

Since I’m super late to this I’m giving YOU the excuse you want to post the five fics of your own that you love. Yes, you. Go for it, you wonderful writer you.

[yandere-daydreams]

Title: Vantage Point.

Commissioned by the very patient, very lovely @yandere-vale.

Word Count: 5.1k.

Pairing: Yandere!Glimmer/Reader (She-Ra).

TW: Fem!Reader, Aged Up Characters, Imprisonment, Implied Kidnapping, Isolation, Emotional Abuse, Slight Infantalization, Mentions of Physical Abuse, Past Injury.

At least the view was nice, in Bright Moon.

You should know. You’d had plenty of time to take it in, by now, not that a single glance wouldn’t have been enough to convince any battle-weary refugee that the destination was worth the tiring journey. The jutting canyons, the darkened forests, the permanent twilight painted across skies so stunning, the bay surrounding Glimmer’s kingdom couldn’t rest until it was beautiful enough to reflect them – it was pretty, you could admit that, and it was nice to finally have enough time to take it all in. It was a small silver lining, running thin enough to border on the verge of complete nonexistence, but it was a silver lining all the same. You were allowed to appreciate it. You’d give yourself that. You liked being able to appreciate it.

You just wished you didn’t have to do so from such a distant vantage point.

It might’ve been a tower. You thought it was, at least, from what you could tell from your perch at its peak. Tall, looming, just as rounded and just as seamless as every other building on Bright Moon’s shores. There was no ladder, no staircase, no way down beyond finding the nearest ledge and hoping for the best, and if there was anything to discover beyond the confines of your bedroom, there certainly wasn’t a way to access it. You’d already tried, searched for hidden doors and passageways, tried every possible escape route Glimmer might’ve overlooked, spent a memorable week attempting to break through the solid stone floor, but it was fruitless, pointless, an effort you could only look back on with resent for your own naivety. There was no way for you to get out, not without risking your own life, in the process, and there wasn’t a way for any would-be savior to get in. You were trapped, isolated, cut off from everything you’d ever called your home. Cut off from everyone you’d ever called your friend.

Except her, obviously.

But you’d never made the mistake of calling Glimmer your friend.

You could hear her, your routine silence broken by slow footsteps, but you didn’t look, you didn’t bother to. You’d already been sitting there for hours, perched inside of a carved-out windowsill, admiring everything that you couldn’t have, not anymore, not after Glimmer decided you didn’t deserve it as much as she deserved you. No, you didn’t acknowledge her, you didn’t let yourself acknowledge her, but that never made a difference. She was already approaching you, already behind you, an arm soon wrapped around your torso and a chest slotted against your back, pulling you into something you might’ve called a hug, if she thought to let go. You bit back your rising complaints, swallowing the urge to shove her away and give her another reason to think of you as immature, irresponsible, incapable, but if she appreciated your self-restraint, she clearly didn’t think it was worth her praise.

Glimmer only sighed, shaking her head at your absentee reaction, more than content to act like she couldn’t imagine why imprisonment might lead to some lingering resentment. “Still busy sulking, sweetheart?”

You didn’t answer, not at first, keeping your eyes on the scenery below. You didn’t like it when she got so close, not after everything she’d done. You didn’t like that you had to let her get so closer, or risk spending another month in somewhere far less pleasant than a homey, familiar, inescapable tower. “I’m not sulking,” You mumbled, fighting not to curl into yourself. “You keep me here, imprisoned and alone, and you know I don’t like it. I don’t have to pretend I’m happy to see you.”

“No, but it might be nice if you tried.” There was a laugh, a squeeze, but she pulled away quickly, sliding into the space next to you and forcing you to shrink further into the nearest wall, forcing to you avoid her, if only because she refused to give you the space to reach out on your own. “You can’t act like I haven’t given you plenty of chances to make yourself happy,” She went on, her tone still light-hearted, vaguely amused. She wasn’t taking this seriously. You doubted she would, until you said something to upset her. “It’s not my fault that you refuse to accept my gifts without a fight.”

You didn’t have to ask what she meant. The evidence was still scattered around your bedroom, found in torn lace and ripped silk, crushed flowers and chipped gems, neglected toys and trinkets she'd offered, half-heartedly, attempting to fill she'd left in your life. On good days, you could ignore it, pretend they were meant for someone else, anyone but you. On most days, felt sick at the thought of indulging Glimmer's one-sided show of kindness.

“Presents won’t make this bearable. I don’t need distractions.” You let yourself exhale, leaning back, your posture just slack enough to make the idea of continuing this conversation tolerable. Something shot through the flesh below your shoulder blade, a single strike of agony before the feeling faded into a steady throb. A reminder of a wound that wasn’t quite healed, but one you’d already disregarded, nonetheless. “I need to go outside. I need you to let me go. I need you to stop acting like you’re doing this for my safety.” Glimmer flinched, her jaw locking into place, but you ignored the small pang of guilt that followed. Good. If she expected you to find a way to live with this, she could find a way to live with the discomfort. “I was doing fine before I met you, and I’d still be doing fine, without your help. It’s not fair to assume I’d—”

“Really?” Glimmer cut you off, any trace of her levity gone. “Are you sure you can’t come up with a single reason I might be hesitant to let you take care of yourself?”

Immediately, you fell quiet, turning away yet again. This time, Glimmer didn’t seem to mind your silence.

“Believe it or not, I’m not trying to make you miserable,” She said, not for the first time. Like you were supposed to believe it. Like she could expect you to believe it. “I just want to keep you safe. If you have to be unhappy for me to do that, then so be it.”

And, just like that, she was gone.

For a moment, you almost missed her.

~

You didn’t break her next gift.

You wanted to. The temptation was always there, you doubted you’d ever grow fond enough of Glimmer for it to completely go away, but you ignored it, brushed it off, pushed it just far enough down to pretend it didn’t exist at all. It helped that she’d given you a book, this time. Usually, her gifts were materialistic, unsubstantial, things that were better at making you look cute and harmless than helping you pass the time. She hadn’t left, yet. That helped too. You still had bruises from the last time you didn’t give her rage time to cool, and you weren’t eager to reopen old wounds.

Books could be used. Books could be read. Books were heavy, and they meant you could do something, if only sit passively and take in a story that wasn’t yours. That was more credit than Glimmer had ever given you before. Part of you worried it was more credit than she’d ever give you again.

That might’ve been why you asked. You wanted logic. If there was a method to her madness, there would be a way to predict what comes next, to try to guess if there was a reason she’d done this at all. You wanted there to be a reason. “Aren’t you afraid I’m going to use this?”

Glimmer didn’t look up from the letter in her hands, multiple pages of important political correspondence, you were sure. She’d taken your bed, when she first arrived, and you’d hid yourself away at the vanity on the other side of the room. A part of you hated it, how she dominated what was supposed to be your space so easily. Another part of you was just glad to have a reason to feel like you actually had a space you felt was yours, if only when someone else invaded it.

Her response came in the form of a hum, light and curious, then a question. “Use it?”

“You know,” You started, before you were entirely sure what you wanted to say. “To escape, or something. I might still find a way to.”

Glimmer laughed, and suddenly, you knew why she was such an unopposed ruler. By the time she actually spoke, you’d already begun to regret saying anything at all. “Planning to beat the walls in with a paperback? I think I’d have to hand over my crown, too, if you managed that.”

Your face burnt, and your grip around the novel tightened. If you hadn’t known better, you might’ve reconsidered your decision to keep this one. “I could always attack you.”

“Do you want me to take it away?”

“Please don’t.” You spoke quickly, as softly as you could, but your panic was still audible, the rush of anxiety you wished you didn’t have to give weight, after so many months of letting your instincts lay dormant. “I just… I guess I just want to know why you didn’t do this earlier. You’ve always given me clothes and that kind of stuff, and this seems more—”

Glimmer didn’t let you finish. She rarely did, when you spoke for any longer than she cared to let you. “C’mere, angel. You shouldn’t be so far away.”

It wasn’t a demand, not really, not when she said it so casually. It wasn’t, but you treated it like one, pushing yourself to your feet and reluctantly approaching her, your eyes never leaving the ground. In your defense, you didn’t fall into her arms, choosing to sit on the edge of your bed and retain a fraction of your dignity, but your aversion didn’t matter. All it took was a strong arm wrapped around your waist, a light tug, and you were tucked into her side, regardless, your head resting on her chest and your legs folded underneath you. For once, you were glad she kept you so isolated. You wouldn’t have been able to live with the embarrassment, if anyone else was around to see you like this.

“Everything I do, I do because it’s what I think is best for you.” There was a pause, like this meant anything. Like she thought she was comforting you. Like this could be comforting, to anyone who didn’t share in her twisted fantasy. “Don’t worry about the details, that’s the kind of thing you’re supposed to let me take care of. It won’t do you any good to overwork yourself, like that.” Her hand fell to your waist, signaling for you to agree. You managed a quick nod, and Glimmer went on, pleased. “Just sit back and relax. No need to worry your pretty little head over anything I think you do or don’t deserve.”

Your throat felt dry. The sheets below you felt scratchy, uncomfortable, like you were sitting on sandpaper rather than satin. You wanted to get up. You wanted to, but you didn’t. “I don’t… I mean, you’re probably right, but—”

“I am right.” She was laughing, reaching over to cup your cheek and tilt your head back, her lips soon pressed against the top of your head, but the gesture was hollow, it felt hollow, and you could’ve hated yourself for ever trying to give it meaning. Glimmer was good at that, making you feel like you were paranoid, too preoccupied with yourself to ever see the bigger picture. She was good at making you feel like you were in the wrong. She was good at making you feel like you’d always been wrong, even if you knew she couldn’t be right. “You just need a little help, that’s all. You were too reckless, when you came to me, you just got yourself into too much trouble. I just want to make sure you don’t get yourself hurt, anymore.”

You believed her. You could believe her. If you wanted to, you could make yourself believe her.

You’d have to believe her, if you ever wanted to survive what came next.

~

It felt like fire.

In your veins, in your blood, under your skin and spreading, every time you moved or shifted or took a breath deeper than the shallow, airy inhales you’d gotten used to, by now. It didn’t have any right to hurt as much as it did, honestly. The wound was old, mostly healed, a shadow of a scar of a lasting injury that’d already overstayed its welcome, but it felt like something new, something fresh, something that you’d gotten the other day, rather than so many years ago. Something raw, something bloody.

Something that Glimmer was making worse with every passing moment, whether or not she meant to.

She was trying to help. You reminded yourself of that. She didn’t trust a medic with you, and you’d had to beg her not to use the temperamental healing magic that so often left much more able-bodied soldiers in much worse condition than simple, external wounds could ever achieve, but you almost wished you hadn’t bothered. She must’ve been using the wrong ointment, the wrong elixir. She must’ve been being too harsh, or too gentle, or messing with something that made flesh and tissue smolder where it shouldn’t have, the pain vivid enough to make you curl into yourself, sink into the mattress, try to escape something that you already knew couldn’t be as bad as you were making it out to be, in your own mind. Whatever she was doing, it hu-

“Does it hurt, love?” Glimmer asked, slowly.

“It doesn’t,” You answered, without hesitation. “It just… It stings more than I expected it to.”

You tried to sound confident, but your voice wavered as her fingertips skirted over scarred tissue, your fists curling around the pillow you were clinging to, despite the way you knew it must’ve looked. Her bed was so much softer than yours, everything in her chambers so much more plush, but that made sense. She was royalty, and you were her prisoner. Your bedroom wasn’t simple, not by any means, but Glimmer's was…

She was a queen. You shouldn’t forget that, however convenient she made it to try. She was a queen, and you weren’t.

“If you’d let me tend to it earlier, it wouldn’t be so bad.” She was scolding you, but playfully, tenderly enough to let you calm down, some of the tension in your rigid form dissolving as you crossed your arms under your head and tried to relax. There was a moment of reprieve, the sound of glass clinking against glass, and a wave of cold air rushed over your injury, dulling any lingering pain into an unpleasant awareness. You would’ve thanked her for it, if the thought did leave a bitter taste on your tongue. You might’ve, still, if she hadn’t chosen to keep going before you could say anything at all. “Count yourself lucky it’s not infected. It’s almost as bad as it was, when we first met.”

It wasn’t. It really wasn’t. Or it might’ve been, you couldn’t really remember. It’d been so long since it was first inflicted, since the last spark of a war that’d spanned longer than your lifetime died out and you were left with the scars to prove you’d survived it, even if the majority of your hometown hadn’t been able to recover in the years that followed. You could barely walk when you first arrived in Bright Moon, but that might’ve been the exhaustion, or the stress, or some other vague, abstract concept that’d been just apparent enough for Glimmer to catch and take pity on you, despite the horror’s she must’ve faced on her own.

You stopped yourself before your thoughts could spiral any further. She pitied you, but you wouldn’t pity her. You refused to. You’d seen where it led, what kind of obsession it could create, and you didn’t want that. You wouldn’t let yourself believe you did.

“But it’s going to get better, right?” You couldn’t keep that hopeful lilt out of your voice, an equal mix of manufactured positivity and genuine optimism, despite yourself. “That’s why I’m here, isn’t it? So you can take care of me?”

There was a brief silence, then a small chuckle. Your wound felt warm, again, smoldering around the edges, and for a moment, you almost found it reassuring. “Of course,” She agreed, but she was still laughing. You wished she would stop. “That, and because I like having you around.”

It was almost funny.

You thought you’d be relieved, when she was finally honest with you.

It hurt, again. It must’ve been the paste she was using, something thick and elastic that kept a cluster of soft, generously applied bandages plastered to your skin. It was far from comfortable, too tight in places, too loose in others, uneven in a way that meant you’d have to tear off what you could and wrap your chest more thoroughly in an hour, at most, but you forced yourself to smile, to sit up and stretch as if doing so didn’t leave something in your spine twisted and cramped. You could complain, if you wanted to, you doubted Glimmer would be that petty, but there wasn’t a point. It was easier to keep her happy, with or without any caveats. You could live with the mild pain, for now.

Glimmer rewarded you with a small grin, a gentle hand on your cheek when you turned to face her. “My brave little sweetheart,” She started, nearly cooing. You tried to tell yourself it was unintentional. “You should probably rest, I might not be able to help if you make things any worse. I’ll take you back to your—”

It was a flare of panic, sudden and unmistakable. A shot of anxiety, a sudden burst of pure dread – something so mindless and so overwhelming, you were throwing yourself at her before you had a chance to think better of it, burying your face in her chest and latching on to her shirt, letting her wrap her arms around you when she recovered from any short-lived shock. “Do I… do I have to go back?” You managed, reluctantly. You didn’t want to ask, you didn’t want to fall so far, but you couldn’t go back to that tower. You just couldn’t. “Please, you can restrain me again, I just don’t want to—”

You were cut off by a squeeze to your side, an idle chuckle. You already knew what she would say, but the way she paused still made you hesitate. It made you feel unsure, obedient, like anything she’d done had ever mattered to you.

Like you were starting to need her as much as she claimed to need you.

“All you had to do was ask.”

~

It took you three hours to pick the lock on Glimmer’s door.

Three weeks, technically, if you counted the time you spent observing, watching, waiting until she trusted you enough to leave you to rest in her palace, rather than sending you back to that freezing, forsaken tower. It was a frustrating precaution, molding yourself into something submissive, begging to spend just one more night in her bedroom rather than your own, but you needed to know Glimmer’s schedule, the rotation of her guards, what you had to work with and how many flimsy, flat trinkets you’d be able to get your hands on before Glimmer started to question your new fascination with hairpins and letter openers. You needed to know who else was in the palace, who else you could get to before you were caught.

You needed to know who to run to, when you finally got out of the softened, insufferable cage Glimmer kept you locked inside of.

Three hours. On and off, one minute at a time, every little creak and jolt and tell-tale snap serving as another reason to hold your breath, to stop and listen, to shut your eyes and hope you’d never have to do this again. You could’ve cried when the lock finally gave away, when the polished marble of her door finally slackened and relaxed, falling open without a struggle. There weren’t any guards outside, you timed it so there wouldn’t be, but you doubted you would’ve cared if there were. You could already hear footsteps against solid tile, and hope flared in your chest before you could think to press it down, bright and burning and overflowing as you took in your soon-to-be savior – a girl, a few years older. A woman. Her name came to you in a moment.

Catra, a warrior, a war hero.

Someone who could help you.

You didn’t throw yourself at her, not like you threw yourself at Glimmer. You didn’t have to, you didn’t want to sacrifice your pride like that, not anymore, but that didn’t stop you from grinning like an idiot, from stumbling over your own feet as you sprinted in Catra’s direction, barely listening to her stifled swearing before it came to a jarring stop. You might’ve said something. You might’ve just opened your mouth and closed it again. You might’ve stuttered and mumbled and blabbered incoherently until her expression shifted, gave away, more out of relief than kindness. More out of understanding than any real empathy.

She cut you off, and something in your heart clenched painfully.

“You’re Glimmer’s, right?”

You shook your head. You would’ve denied it, but you couldn’t remember how to speak. Part of you wondered if you’d ever really known how to, at all.

“Dressed like it,” Catra went on, rolling her eyes, her tone only a touch above sardonic. You didn’t have to throw yourself at her – she was already taking you by the wrist, dragging you in the same direction she’d been heading, regardless, never giving you the choice not to follow. “C’mon, I don’t want to deal with Sparkle’s tantrums, today. You’re coming to the war room.”

You didn’t get a chance to refuse. You doubted she would’ve listened if you did, but you could’ve tried, you should’ve said something. It would’ve felt right, if nothing else, to put your foot down, to make a run for it, to tell someone what Glimmer had done to you, even if it was starting to seem like Catra might not make much of a shoulder to cry on. Even in the moment, you knew you’d regret it, but…

But, you couldn’t bring yourself to do much of anything.

You didn’t know what else you’d expected, honestly.

The palace was bigger than it looked, from your usual vantage point. The adrenaline had started to die down by the time you reached the ‘war room’, leaving you drained, tired, dragging your feet as Catra tugged you through a door twice your height, the guards that stood on either side of the entryway barely batting an eye at your bare feet and disheveled appearance. The ceilings were too high, the gold accents just a little too polished, everything too bright despite the lack of an apparent light source. It hurt, in a way. You wondered if it would hurt this much if you actually got outside.

Catra didn’t introduce you. She didn’t have to, not when you were abandoned as quickly as you were brought in, left to stand at the head of their table, tense and alone, as Catra drew attention to herself, instead, clearing her throat as she approached the other Princesses. You recognized most of them, anyone would – Mermista, barely glancing over you before she lost interest, Perfuma, kind enough to try to smile in your direction, and Adora, the Adora, She-Ra, still dressed in full armor, her arms crossed over the rounded table, her lips pressed into a thin frown and her expression…

And her expression identical to the one Glimmer wore, back when youstill had the option to look at other people.

It hurt, obviously, but you didn’t have much time to linger on the festering sting. You were already being lifted off your feet, a pair of strong hands or… claws, rather, clamping around your biceps and pinning your arms to your sides, squeezing so tight, you could hear something in your torso crack. You didn’t have to guess at a name. Even if you couldn’t see Scorpia’s face, her voice was enough, light and jovial, as if you hadn’t flinched away as she touched you. As if you weren’t close to tears. “Catra brought a friend!” You could’ve cried. You might’ve, if your embarrassment hadn’t been so much less ignorable than your mounting trepidation. “Finally, I was starting to think our wildcat would never break out of her shell. This is great, right, Adora?”

“It’s perfect,” Adora replied, obviously upset, but Catra only shrugged her off, draping herself over Adora’s shoulders she scoffed, keeping her glare centered on you. “You’re late. Is this supposed to be an excuse?”

“This,” She said, gesturing in your direction, “is supposed to be one of Glimmer’s. I wouldn’t have mess with it if I had a choice, but she looked lost, and you know how Glimmer would get if she wandered off.”

There was a huff, a chuckle, a mumbled ‘you know I’m right’, but it was hard to listen, it was hard to care. Your vision was blurring, your throat tightening up, but you fought back the tears as well as you could, knowing it’d only make your frustration that much worse. You didn’t want to make yourself look helpless, not here, not surrounded by people who were obviously so much stronger than you, but you couldn’t hold your hands steady, you couldn’t stop the way your breath hitched while it was still in your lungs. You wanted to hide. You wanted to run. You wanted to go back to your tower, and you hated yourself for it. “Please, I… I’m a captive, I shouldn’t—”

“Ah, why didn’t you say so sooner? Glimmer must be worried sick.” It was Perfuma, this time, still watching from a distance. You couldn’t tell if she’d heard you, but you choose to believe she hadn’t. It’d be easier, if you assumed no one was listening to you at all. “Scorpia, you’re not holding her too tightly, are you? It’d be a shame if there were bruises, after we finish.”

“Who, me? You know I’d never hurt a fly,” Scorpia laughed, tightening her grip. You made a breathy, pitiful sound, something between a gasp and a whimper, but neither seemed to notice. Neither seemed to care. You weren’t sure which you would’ve preferred, anymore. “Even if this one’s a little more… fleshy, than what I’m used to.”

You opened your mouth, ready to tell her she would leave bruises, that she wasn’t being gentle, but you didn’t have time, not before Adora spoke up, her posture a fraction more relaxed than it had been, a minute ago. “Don’t worry about leaving marks,” Adora cut in, nonchalantly. She had an arm strung around Catra’s waist, now, but she was still looking at you. If you’d been a touch more desperate, you might’ve thanked her. If you’d felt any smaller, you might’ve asked her to stop. “Glimmer’s been talking about this for months. I haven’t seen anyone that excited since…” She trailed off, throwing a glance in Catra’s direction, earning a wicked grin in response. For a moment, you wondered why you’d ever thought either one of them would try to help you. “Since someone realized she didn’t have to wait for us to fight to get her claws out.”

Perfuma rolled her eyes. Scorpia groaned. You wanted to ask what she meant. You wanted to scream for her to go on, to tell you what that was supposed to mean, to just go on until you could pick one of the awful, dark, twisted thoughts swirling around in your head and let that shove you off the edge before anything worse could. You had to know what was going to happen to you. You didn’t want to know, you didn’t want to anything, but you had to find out. It was a matter of survival. It was a matter of life and death. It was something you needed, and for a second, you thought you might be able to vocalize that. You thought you might be able to say it. You thought you might be able to actually say it.

Then, a familiar voice called your name, and again, you lost your chance to do much of anything at all.

Scorpia didn’t have to be told to put you down. By the time you could think to ask, you were already back on your feet, your knees threatening to buckle as you struggled to keep yourself upright. You could’ve collapsed. A part of you wanted to, most of you wanted to, but it only would’ve made things worse, it only would’ve made you seem more childish, even you doubted anyone was paying attention to you, anymore. No, Scorpia had gone back to the other Princesses, Catra and Adora still preoccupied with each other, and you were left alone, shaking, at the mercy of the woman currently positioning herself in front of you, cupping your cheek, tilting back your head as you fought not to push her away. You didn’t want her to touch you.

You weren’t really sure what you did want, anymore.

“Poor little thing,” She said, her voice already soft, sweet. She might be angry, later on, she probably would be, but you tried not to think about that. You could only be thankful she wasn’t, right now. “I think you’ve had enough fun, for today. All of this is clearly too much for you to handle.” She stopped, leaning down, her lips barely brushing against your forehead. It wasn’t a kiss, but it was close to one. It didn’t hurt, and that was all you could bring yourself to care about. “Are you ready to go home?”

She might’ve been talking about her room. She might’ve been talking about the tower. She might’ve been talking about something else entirely – a dungeon, a prison cell, a cramped, darkened room you wouldn’t be able to slip out of quite as easily. You didn’t know. You should’ve, but you didn’t.

“I…” You were barely able to whisper. It was pathetic, honestly, but you forced yourself to go on. It would be worse, if you drew it out. It would be unbearable, if you had to stay here.

You just wanted to be alone, even if you had to be alone with Glimmer.

“I’m ready.”

[captainkurosolaire]

I challenge you to pick five Tumblrs in your social circle and tell them something you admire about their blog!

Only 5? I could probably do 500. However, that's determined by what's considered my social circle. I'm often in my head being incredibly social continuously is really a challenge of mine. I'm always actively marching to something, my flame of passion when I have it, I can do some crazy stuff but it diminishes relatively quickly, so I try to cling. But I'll up your thing and list 25 of my fave people. Ask me this same thing in a Month, I'll keep doing 25, until I do all the people. How about that? (If anyone wants to be taken off mention let me know.)

@eligos-venator

- Has one of the most intelligent and sophisticated minds, I've had the pleasure to know. Literally admire all his aesthetics, work, head-cannons, ideas. It's only a benefit that the dude shares some OC characteristics to my own (Winning features). I really enjoyed the short-thread we did. It was incomplete, mainly because of my faults. I want to actually be better to give him a proper delivery and RP worth his time, but he's incredibly worth the investment of eyes.

@mischiefandmystics

- If there was a Mount Rushmoore of writers who kept me in this endeavor, encouraged me. Sun'ra is one of them. His characterization skills, writing, the delivery and how believable his character is, they're masterful acts.

@mishivymendi

- I wouldn't be nearly tamed or as creatively freed if it wasn't for this gem. She broke my shell, I really didn't at a time ever see myself being anything really beyond a smut writer, but Mishi not only saw potential in me, but brought it out. Her stories and world's she brings to life are so majestically colorful.

@asymphonyofash

- My go-to. He's another pillar individual who saw things in me past just the obvious perception, (Probably second longest XIV RPer I know.) Taught me a lot of the lore, I shot him up and he's sort of become my stapled rock. He's right aside Sun'ra met them about the same, both took me under their wing's as I quietly observed and absorbed.

@lavender-hemlock

- We're always up and front with each other, never feeling like I couldn't say anything around, extremely rare to share that these days. Her gif's are legendary, something on my own terms I want to soar in quality. The writing she does is astounding. Character has so many mysterious pages that are quite addictive to want to explore and learn them. (Encore 20 below-cut)

@under-the-blood-moonlight - Her sweetness and artwork and overall is just a friendly presence to be around. I cherish them so much. One I can jive with more darker undertones with. She's one the most hardworking and ambitiously creative people. I'd mail them infinite hugs if could. Thanks for being you! @roxinova - I owe a lot of credit to her. She's constantly OOC and everything was nudging me too be more inclusive to things and involved heavenly. It's rare for me. I'm really horrible about that my autism sets me back socially, I constantly will be drowned by the next day and be reverted back to better off alone, that's my major crux and weakness. But her thoughtfulness, these things, aren't ever foreign to me, I do pay attention probably better than any would ever give me credit. She's a beacon model to have as a friend. @corpse-dancer - Haven't ran into many words with them, but her character, screenshot game, expressiveness, they're all a marvel to constantly see, alongside her attitude and bringing life character. I do think if I were better, we would click quite splendidly. They've recently reminded and motivated me to pick-up my daily-practice, or try too. Keep being a rockstar. @fair-fae - Few who wouldn't know who she is in this community. She's been in my opinion a huge core. I'm certain she's inspired many who weren't even RPers too try it by seeing her at the Quicksands or elsewhere, a tyme ago. Making no exception, I was even one of those. I used to be in QS every-single day and was often doing my shameless stuff. Though her presence first did show me there's a lot more. I admire her in all fields. Also appreciate her adopting me to the FC and her always thinking of others and giving events, or her aesthetics and portrayal, its the epitome of swan elegance. @thorcat - One of my most treasured friends. Been RPing with them for a longtime. There's never anything complicated between us or a rift of drama, it's just let's go and have fun. We really mesh well, I've welcomed nearly ever character and got the privilege to RP with nearly all them. They always open up envelope and help me, settle on back and just laugh. Whether used to be waking up to their characters humping my afk one or use randomly having a hardcore banter between Ufah and Captain and capturing them as a voidal pet. Memories with them isn't something I'd ever want to lose. I love ya! Never stop enjoying life for anything. @lukawarrioroflight - I get in the gutter find myself lacking motivation or writing, discouraged even... But I never have felt, I could ever do any wrong with this person, they bring the light out of me. So no matter what, how many hospital-beds I yearly visit, it's because of this rare nature, that I come back, even if they're the only one's ever to read my stuff. I would do it for them alone. @scholarlybreadbun - I've only been back recently and they've so much warmth. Their presence is the sun of inviting. The couple and posing all the shipping that stuff makes me even melt. I'm not particularly talented in regards to posing couples, but I took notice of them along time ago and set on quietly improving. Really like them for them, wouldn't ever want them to change that. Ideally look forward to be in their orbit longer so I can bask in them. @seascrapes - Been mutual with them for a while. Their aesthetics and character is all S+ level. I appreciate throwing back tagged prompts with them, one of many people I really think would be enjoyable to collab with any other seafarers. The artwork and pieces of Tal Brook, are breathtaking as ever exceptionally too, not to mention. Love your stuff matey, you're a king. @mai-takeda - Is a myth. Her absolutely sheer friendliness and her attitude, are so positive influencing, I was so thrilled to be welcomed with her and boosted by them early on. I couldn't see myself, wanting to exist where they didn't have happiness like the same she always delivers by just doing so many soft-things. Not to mention her writing... She's a whole world to throw yourself gazes

under. @zhauric - It doesn't go far either without the same breath of Mai, I could say about Zhauric. He's someone worthy to look-up and also recognize they're passionate and inviting, hoisting up literally everything. Could easily find any of their characters comrades with my own, or jiving alongside. Not to mention last XIVWrite, they slaughtered it. So enjoyable to read them all. I like how organized their blog is too, motivated me recently to redux my entire thing. @cadrenebula - They have so many diverse characters and their entire roster is vibrant and is imbued with a massive flux of life. They are able to encapsulate so many character's voices and portray them so effectively too, I really admire that greatly. They've made me think bigger and try myself recently at actually undertaking a huge roster of characters too. I've taken many breaks, but I always am so graciously returned often with them close-by and that's so incredibly sacred. I've seen a lot of people get discouraged or quit, leave, departure, etc. But they always seem to have a bigger house then they had last I took a break and I enjoy peaking in. @silvernsteel - Her artist and gif-work are awe-aspiring, there's little unrecognizable by her photo-sets and edits. They helped me even tip-toe into uncharted with giving me the recipes to try incorporating gifs into my arsenal. Plus so delightfully pleasant to actually talk with and just chill. I want nothing less in life, than the beauty they give, to be returned to them for eternity in all their glorious air. If ever needed anything of me, they've got me. @spotofmummery - We talk about passion or friendliness or overall a person to even remotely try to be, I got to include them. Their web-series and writing, screen-work, everything they do is fantastic. And that's furthered back nearly any I've met showcase or immortalize how just genuine of stellar person they are. I wish them always the energy to create and sparks. @snow-covered-moon - They've never been anything less but absolutely a diamond to know. I enjoy their character, their almost always abundant of energy that's very rub inducing. Their WoL character stories, writing, screen-shots, everyday they open up a new pandora box of joy, there's no mistaken love behind their character and that's infectiously easy to also enjoy something when the author does too. Always healthy to be around, I never feel short of vitality when they're close-by. @letheofthelost - Always cheerful or least encapsulates with me, they're a carnival ride. Just pure epic story-telling and engaging equally as passionate, constantly writing characters, not looking for anything outside of RP or anything really just being their selves, they fade all others. I love their presence, them as a person. Enjoy any character they'll ever come and throw under me, or a change of pace. Always feels easily understandable between one another. @crow-iv - Together we're an unfiltered, unstoppable wake of pure passionate writers and art. But I would say they're far ahead of me, in every regard. Already able to portray multiple characters in a scene and do such in-depth thinking, alongside even sketch or draw right afterwards or a scene. They're so talented, huge reason I set-out on giving them a Crew of cast and actual stories to-tell when I'm actually caught up and if they interested and we both have the room, I really think if further myself, I can be better and supply more for them to draw and I want to see them soar. I want to give them all my improvements and effectiveness. @trishelle - They've such a reinforcing personality and aura around them that easily bolsters anything that dares thinking they're about to be depleted so energizing. Aesthetics, characters, all them are so lively that further compliment their own mun's great welcoming presence. Worth hundreds of smiles and stars, keep high. Wish I had more time to dedicate to learning you! But I do notice and appreciate you. @fracturedfantasia - One of my people, I like to retreat and just talk my full

head-cannons with or learn, share insightful and inquisitive thoughts about philosophies and multi-culture things. Or plotting and in-general, they're a well of information and brimming ideas, they are every making of what makes a quality friend. When you can generally be open-about-all that's a real one right there. Their characters and tarot readings, I always would implore if they're offering. Thanks for giving me any-time. You're truly a treasure. @violet-warder - Never have even came to words with them yet unfortunately but didn't mean as a mutual, I haven't admired all their screenies, writing, or the aesthetics they bring of their character. Glamours is real end-game, I like all what you've done and put together. I care strictly about what represent and give, I don't want to see them ever think anyone want's them gone, they are abundantly so talented and possess things only they can deliver. I think recently came back too, and I'm glad to share, hopefully, overtime I can build you better up. Or eventually even talk, but I'm certain you are a busy-body person too, so we're relatable. @layla-grey - I have a lot of underline issues that set me back as a flawed person, but I've never not been anything but someone who's open, it's why I always do include my f-list in anything or etc. I'm not here to present this facade, and really don't care to be an image crafted by another. No one as of recently or now, am I close with as an RP partner or friend with then this stunning masterpiece. I never let-up on story-telling or anything so I can eventually use my Crew or other Characters, to give them anytime a master entertaining day, they push me to not be short-changed. IC and OOC I would devote my full attention too cause they've never shed from me. Didn't ever matter how much silence or anything, they're always around. And don't expect anything out of me or pressure. Just accept me and I equally share that sentiment, I want you to have everything in this world has to offer. ----- This is just a fraction of people, I've paid attention, noticed or know. I've been around in this Community for many years. There's a lot of things I could say about it, more probably then anyone else. But what matters to me, is recognizing the people who are here, that work hard, build others up, support, constantly are a beam. I don't need to interact with everyone, to know when someone is generally out for good. Or they're out for bad I've learned inquisitiveness longtime ago, I had to survive and remain afloat. I just go out and be me, and along the way, I get to find people like these, who help bring out the best me. I am nothing without these people, creators, writers, artist. I'm a terrible friend, horrible person, I don't have the energy to interact NEARLY with as much as I'd like with you all, If I could clone myself, or if things were different, I would drop it all to be in your orbits more if could. But, do know I appreciate you. And even if you ever do depart from this whole community or anything, know that anything you share, or give, that stuff does matter, somewhere, someone was aspired, if nothing else, by me. ONLY you can give the worlds you see and I am thankful. Do love yourself.

[carminite-wyrm]

A Genshin Impact Hermitcraft AU Idea, God Help Me

Last year, on September 28, a particular gacha rpg game was released and I, occasionally regrettably, fell straight into playing it. In honour of the fact that this will mean I have lasted nearly a whole year (I got the game a week after bc uni) determinedly not spending any money on Genshin whilst also trying to roll good characters…here’s a bunch of Hermitcraft Genshin AU ideas that I initially came up with at roughly 2.40 am.

The general idea of this AU is that the Hermits end up in a new world that has Genshin-esque mechanics, on top of the usual Minecraft shenanigans. So, Visions and stuff. Also, we’re gonna just…briefly ignore the actual Genshin lore in regards to how Visions and Gnosises (Gnoses?) come about, for this one.

Post-S8, the Hermits are travelling to a new world, ready for another season.

The moment they arrive, it is clear to them all that…something is different. Something is vastly different with this world, for all that it appears much like the previous servers that they have lived in and travelled to. There is something of a…presence to it, in a sense.

When the Something Different doesn’t appear immediately, being the demigods/almost-deities that they are, they go about their days, setting up starter bases, gathering the basic resources and tools, the usual beginnings.

Things change when Doc wakes up one morning after a hard day at work building a new redstone machine, to find a small glowing chess piece lying next to his head, crackling with an ethereal purple light

Upon picking it up, he feels a burst of energy, almost like that one time in the previous world where he and Ren built a lightning-summoning tower

However, the changes it has wrought become apparent later that day when Scar comes out of nowhere with the recording of a creeper’s tell-tale hiss and explosion, and Doc sends him flying backwards with a startled blast of lightning

At first, they chalk it up to ‘Something Funky With Doc’s Current Project’, but after some tests, some experimentation to confirm if it was a one-off reaction…they end up confirming that they may have found out what the Weird Thing about this season’s world is

The duo go to Xisuma with their findings, and, to their collective surprise, X can’t find anything blatantly broken in the server’s code, but he does find a few interesting lines within.

By all appearances, this is not a glitch, but simply an intended feature of the server

Seven lucky hermits, designated as Archons in the server code, will receive a Gnosis, an artefact of elemental power that the server can assign, given to the ‘player who best suits the element’

The server notes speak of how the power granted (and represented through the chess-piece-shaped item) will grant the receiver the capability to shape the land around them

By random chance, other players on the server will also be gifted a Vision, a somewhat lesser artefact that will still grant them a form of elemental power

Given that the Hermits are practically gods in their own right, considering they are already capable of shaping the worlds they arrive in as they see fit…are more curious than worried, at this point

They agree to keep an eye out, to see how chaotic the sudden acquisition of elemental powers will turn out

The next person to receive a Gnosis is Grian, who delights in the bursts of wind he can use to buffer his flight, gliding across the server with naught but the turquoise magic the server has seen fit to grant him

After that, most of the Hermits soon receives some sort of Elemental power from the server

A Summary of Who Gets What (That I can think of so far):

Doc: [Electro Archon]

Can summon lightning, without need for a trident, a thunderstorm, or a machine that can generate an ongoing thunderstorm for as long as its activated

Can also generate an Electro shield, though it does require his active concentration to maintain for longer than a few seconds. This shield appears like a charged creeper’s aura, except purple

Capable of generating a thunderstorm at will, but rarely does it on account of mob spawning dangers

Has found that by channelling a low level of Electro energy, he can in fact power redstone machines just by tapping them/being in close proximity to them

This has proven to both be a blessing and a curse, considering that on occasion, when startled, he has short-circuited some of his machines

Grian: [Anemo Archon]

Generally, uses his powers as a free rocket boost for flying around the server

Upon finding out that he can use the Anemo energy to create pockets of energy that can boost flight, he takes to leaving them all over the server, in convenient locations to make flight that much more efficient

Yes, he absolutely sets up a fancy elytra course that makes use of his flight-boosters to send players rocketing around a course at breakneck paces (poor Scar experiences many instances of kinetic energy)

Bdubs: [Geo Archon]

Suddenly, making mountains and other works of major terraforming is a lot easier

Certainly, he still prefers to sculpt them and detail them by hand, but bringing the basic shape of the mountain forth by brandishing the power of Geo is something that he can do with ease, in this world

A new shop pops up in the shopping district rather quickly after this realisation: Bdub’s Landshaping Service, Now offering quick terraforming at a budget price! (it is, in fact, a service that makes him quite the amount of money)

And when he wants to sleep, without the other hermits breaking his bed? A glowing shield of steadfast golden magic takes care of that.

Gem: [Dendro Archon]

The patch of the server that Gem has claimed for herself quickly springs to life as plants of all varieties grow to surprising proportions, energised by the power that she now can radiate

The effect is most notable in and around her home, of course, but wherever she travels, the plants grow more vibrantly for days afterwards

Adding a forest of birch around her house takes little more than a thought, a fact she uses to prank some of her friends, those who in the last world were rather vocal about their dislike of non-stripped birch

Another power Gem finds herself with is the ability to summon vines even without a surface for them to initially grow upon, and thus it is not uncommon to see Gem building or resting in a hammock of woven vines

Cub: [Cryo] (cannot make up my mind if I think he’d be Archon material or not)

Gathering powdered snow has never been easier, as instead of waiting for a storm to form and last longer than it takes a Hermit to get into the nearest bed, he can simply clap his hands together and a lump of snow shoots out from just above his shoulder.

It does hurt, getting hit by the sudden snow barrage that Cub is now capable of, but except for the occasional snowball fight, his newfound snow-creation ability is used for making increasingly more insane mob farms and snowy building decoration

False: [Pyro]

The magic her Pyro Vision grants her doesn’t become apparent, not for a while, until she visits the Nether for the first time in this world

A mis-swing in a bastion, and suddenly a horde of piglins and hoglins are chasing after her, and there isn’t enough time to pillar away.

She readies her sword and shield, ready to fight, and suddenly her blade crackles to life with bright flames, unlike the fire aspect enchantment in that it actually is on fire.

Every attack she lands, whilst her sword is alight, seems to invigorate her, return strength and stamina that was lost when she had first tried to flee the enraged inhabitants of the bastion

Xisuma:

The admin is one of the few to not receive a Vision or a Gnosis

Quietly, he does admit to being relieved, considering his powers as an admin are already much greater than that of the other Hermits, for all that they are still his equals

And then, one day, whilst X is placing his diamonds to sign up to one of Grian’s newest competitions, he feels a rush of foreign magic, so unlike the familiar ordered pulses of server code

The blast of wind that comes with a swing of his sword, much later whilst he is mob-farming, is greatly surprising, if not unexpected.

The funny thing about all these new powers, granted by the server itself in the form of artefacts that can easily sit in one’s palm, is that for all they are miraculous on their own, the natural capabilities of the Hermits are already enough to rival them

In the hands of an ordinary person, an ordinary player, the powers from this world would bring them close to the near-omnipotence of Creative, could even be the driving force of server-wide conflict.

Powers such as these, while they can build great things, can so easily be used to destroy, to cause war and destruction, and in other realities, they have.

Perhaps whatever trick of fate that caused the server to be capable of granting these powers hoped to create that conflict, to see what would happen when only a few of their number were gifted such strengths.

Later, when the initial surprise and rush to test out the limits of the server’s granted magics dies down, Zedaph approaches Xisuma, one of the few to not possess an artefact of elemental magic, with an observation

Zedaph notes that, from his studies of the Hermits’ new powers, almost all of them are oriented vastly towards combat, whether they be summonable blades of frost, elemental shields, or even the ability to soothe aches and hurts

And even though the Hermits have all found ways to make those powers work in the ways that they wish them to, it does not take away from the fact that the likeliest original purpose of this server’s magic was for fighting

Any other server, any other group, Zedaph quietly says, and there would more than likely have been bloodshed, given the inequality in the range of power granted

At the end of the day however, unexpected gifts of power or not, the Hermits, at their core, are a group that creates and innovates, a band of friends that shape entire worlds with naught but their own ideas and willpower, and regardless of what powers they now possess in this particular realm, that will not change.

[axebenefits]

Why Kokomi Teruhashi Deserves Better

let me start off with stating that teruhashi is not pursuing this life of perfection for herself. and you may think “but she seems to enjoy it so much” or “but no ones forcing her to be perfect”. however, there’s a lot more to her goals than just self satisfaction.

teruhashi is a beautiful woman who, seemingly from an early age, was fawned after and sexualized by everyone. even her own brother. though we’ve seen nothing of her family outside of her sibling, we can assume it’s not as perfect as she’d lead everyone to believe.

even if teruhashi’s parents didn’t add to any of the pressure or stress she’s under, they most certainly seemed to have enabled makoto. or at least been negligent in their parenting. how could anyone get to such a state of obsession? especially over a sibling, nonetheless. even saiki points out in the episode makoto is introduced (season 1, episode 9) that the teruhashi parents should not have let makoto get this far in his possessiveness. which leads me to believe that they either are very distant or they’re very careless.

then kokomi attends pk academy. here she has a variety of people her own age. and what happens? they worship her blindly. her gorgeous looks garner her constant empty praise because of this facade she displays. there’s even a fan club dedicated to her, one that has been said to have ADULTS in it. how creepy is that? and she just has to live with it.

but you have to think, would teruhashi even be able to live a life in which she’s not treated as a goddess? she’s exceptionally beautiful, very intelligent, and quite talented. there would never be a world in which she wouldn’t get the attention that people force onto her.

and, as sad as it is, i think she’d prefer attention that she’s asking for instead of something unwanted and unexpected.

this may lead you to deduce that she enjoys the praise and affection. that as long as her ego is being inflated, she’s happy. however, let’s think back to the valentine’s day episode in season 1 (episode 8). it’s rumored that teruhashi has brought chocolate for a special someone, and all the boys flock to her in order to earn her chocolates.

remember how annoyed she was, how frustrated she got when they were tripping over themselves to do whatever she asked of them. and why do they do this? do they care for her? unfortunately, no. she’s an accessory to them, a beautiful gem they can wear out and show off. these people hold no genuine love for her.

she was agitated, despising the crowd that followed her relentlessly. however, this is teruhashi we’re talking about. she gets followed by a crowd of strangers constantly. she gets swarmed by people at café’s. she is so used to such treatment, why was that time so different? it must’ve been a one time thing, right?

wrong! she never enjoys the attention she gets from people. she doesn’t put up this persona of the “perfect pretty girl” for herself. she doesn’t particularly like it, but she feels as though it is necessary. she constantly puts herself through uncomfortable and even downright upsetting situations to continue to show people that she is perfect.

what’s worse is that she’s so accustomed to people treating her more like a reality tv show star than a person. in the last episode of season 2, episode 24, we witness the newspaper club once more trying to tarnish her image. how do they try and get dirt on her? THEY FOLLOW HER AROUND.

and the saddest part is she notices IMMEDIATELY, and is able to take extremely detailed notes on what the perpetrators are like. she outright states this isn’t her first time being stalked. of course we know this, but can we register how upsetting that is? this young girl who doesn’t even have a genuinely caring and healthy family gets stalked constantly.

let’s not forget kokomi has clearly never had friends before she befriended chiyo and the rest. nobody treated her like her own person. they’ve all put her on this incredible pedastol, too far from the top to ever even think about befriending her. so she had no one to confide in, no one to make her feel safe.

but that all started changing when she became friends with saiki’s group. do you know why? because they showed her genuine respect and kindness. not empty validation and unwanted worship. the genuinely do care for HER, not like how the other pk students tend to only care for how she the image she portrays herself as.

no one ever cared to get to know her, until saiki and his friends. saiki’s group brings out the best in people. i could go on an entire tangent on why saiki’s friend group is so wonderful, but we can save that for another time. what i’m saying is that they treated her as equal. of course they do occasionally shower her in praise, but they have no ulterior motive. they don’t want to get with her, they just want to make her happy.

we see how she changes alongside this friend group. for instance, when saiko is introduced in episode 23 of season 1, she even states herself that the “old her” would’ve dropped everything for saiko. but now, she cares too much for her friends to ever let ANYONE insult them like that. and that feeling is reciprocated.

you can argue that every situation ends in kokomi’s favor, and therefore gets everything she wants. and i agree to an extent. she is most definitely adored by the gods. however, positive outcomes do not erase uncomfortable and even traumatic experiences. you can put a bandaid on a wound, but only time and care will truly heal it.

alongside that, i understand some people still view teruhashi as conceited and selfish. in episode 11 of season 2, after kusuke insults teruhashi, she cries in order to form a mob to sworm around him. and yes, this was wrong of her and i will not be making excuses. however, someone as worshipped as her is bound to have an inflated ego, is bound to develop such defense mechanisms. though it was wrong of her, there was reason behind why she acted in such a way.

she still has her flaws, she still gets easily annoyed with people. but let me remind you that, after garnering so much unwanted attention, anyone would get easily agitated by people trying to force themselves into their personal bubble.

building off on that, teruhashi is also extremely defensive of her perfect pretty girl facade. why? because it’s all she had for so long. she may have never had good connections or genuine love, but she had her image. and that kept her at ease.

but you can only fool your mind so much. there will always be a little light shining through the rose colored glasses, giving you a glimpse of what’s actually happening. and sometimes, the reality of it all gets to her.

but now, she has saiki’s group. and as much as i wish things would be different for her, for people to let her live her own life and treat her with actual respect instead of a rare doll to admire, i’m glad she has her friends. i mean, one of the reasons she even likes saiki so much is because he isn’t like the rest. he wasn’t falling to his knees to praise her. he wasn’t following her around like a lost puppy. he did none of that! and she felt comfort in his stoic exterior.

the fact that she likes saiki of all people simply proves that she genuinely doesn’t care for the validation people thrust upon her. all she wants is to feel safe and content, and saiki provides that for her.

but she still deserves better. she deserves to be able to set aside her reputation and be her own person. to say no to uncomfortable situations. she deserves so much more than what she gets. and while her friends are wonderful, i do wish the general population treated her with that same respect.

teruhashi is a strong-willed woman who sadly fell victim to internalized misogyny, to strive to be the perfect woman. and, in her eyes, the perfect woman aligns directly with society’s view of what a good woman is like. pretty, submissive, passive, nice; that’s not who she is though. we see that she has quite a bit of an attitude and is very easily annoyed. she’s also extremely clever and, while deceitful, does have a lot of passion.

and nothings wrong with that! it’s okay to be bitter sometimes. teruhashi still treats others with respect and she does yearn to be better, even if not presented consciously. she works hard to be who she is, and i admire that. but she deserves to be work hard to be who SHE wants to be, not what others expect of her.

in conclusion, while teruhashi is not a perfect person, she’s an extremely well-written character. the development she’s made has been astronomical, and i’m so proud of how far she’s come.

thank you for reading! ♥