#i wish people cared about me beyond just tolerating me. i wish i had someone who would seek me out instead of the othee way around

[drop--pop--candy]

world's loneliest guy facing 700 Herculean trials

[bimbolita]

I’m so glad everyone is having the same visceral reaction to episode 4 like I did. I thought I was being too sensitive but fucking no. It is painful. It is horrid. Knowing that this type of abuse actively happens to sex workers and those who are trafficked. It’s jarring because I didn’t expect to see this dark and explicit depiction in a cartoon that jokes about penises every 2 minutes. It’s like when light hearted coco melon shows start talking about death, it was just unexpected because I never took this show serious. I’m going to share more of my thoughts below! Trigger Warning: Mentions of SA ⚠️

I don’t think it’s my place to deny or confirm if the ‘poison’ scenes were fetishized, I personally believe it’s subjective. I know how I feel but I think no matter where you stand, you are right in your own way. Many things can be true at once. What we can all agree on, is that it was harsh. In a way, I hope the audience is able to understand how exploiting and non glamorous sex work is. There is nothing fun about having your body used multiple times a day by people you do not know and having said scenes recorded then plastered all over the media. Of course all forms of engaging in or creating adult content are different, I am specifically talking about sex workers who have no say or control over their bodies and finances. Like Angel. Let us put emphasis on WORK in sex work.

It is demanding. It is laborious It is scaring. Remember that and remember the unheard voices who must do this to simply survive.

There is a lot of criticism about angel’s personality and yes I agree it is annoying but you have to understand, it is a trauma response. Hypersexuality is a common trait among those who are sexually abused. Angel just outwardly expresses it all the time because it is all he knows. This thought process is the only way to tolerate his behavior. I say thought process because it is only an interpretation. It’s very obvious viv just adores writing sexed up characters with zero nuance or depth but let’s just pretend she can actually write male characters that think beyond their cock and balls. Let’s pretend that Angel Dust is a two dimensional character and not (grits teeth) fetish bait.

Now, let’s talk about Charlie. Alright great, she saw her friend being mistreated and was about to stand up to his abuser, ok good good. The victim (Angel) gets upset and wants her to leave because he was beaten. Yes, average response of someone who is an abusive relationship, he is afraid and wants to avoid more conflict between him and Val. The situation at hand couldn’t be more than obvious. How does Charlie respond? She cries. And not because she is frustratedly concerned for the safety of her friend. It is because he yelled and rejected all her poor attempts at helping. Charlie is weak as shit and I think that interaction was weirdly written. I wish she had the mental fortitude to understand how much danger Angel’s life was in at that moment. I cannot enjoy her ‘aggressive kindness’ cutie do no wrong baby girl type of character in a moment like that.

And I feel the same about Husk’s song. Out of all the responses you could’ve made, this is what made it to the final cut? Do better. I don’t care if I lack the mEdIa LiTeRaCy twitter keeps yapping about. It’s bad. You just showed a sexual assault montage and the rebuttal was basically “my uncle broke his neck tap dancing once :/“ lol we’re both losers and that’s ok, suck it up buttercup, I like you regardless. This was the best response to an SA victim? No degree in media literacy would ever help me think that was an acceptable response. I dunno about ya’ll but I major in common sense at the university of using my eyes and fucking ears. Now imagine, if that entire segment, when Husk and Angel are at the bar plus the musical number; imagine if all of that was placed BEFORE we see Angel and Val interact and then poison plays as the final song. It would be 10x more impactful because then the audience sees how deep and stuck Angel actually is. Trauma olympics is never acceptable but neither is trauma participation trophies. It is not right to make Husk’s issues be seen as the same as Angel’s issues. They are not the same and it is ok to acknowledge that Angel has it worst than Husk. It’d be more genuine if Husk were to just hug him in complete silence after dragging him out of the bar and have Angel tearfully embrace him back. The first non sexual and benevolent interaction between them. The first physical act of care with no ulterior motives of lust.

I grind my teeth at the wasted potential.

[aurawrawr]

Who am I to you?

Part 1

King of Curses Ryomen Sukuna x afab reader x twin brother and Kingsguard Yuuji Itadori

Set in the Heian era, the twins, Ryomen and Yuuji, befriend a girl who they both fall in love with. But who will she choose when the time comes — the delinquent, tough Ryomen or the sweet, charming Yuuji?

so... anon requested a story and me being me, i replied to the request without posting the story. anyhoo, this is going to be a two-parter because the request gave me a lot to work with and i really wanted to establish the lore. part 2 would be up so so soon.

Minors, DNI. WC: 2.8k

CW: sibling rivalry, coarse language, attempted SA, violence, death, blood and wounds, public slander, public proposal, love triangle, no use of y/n

Growing up, you were the apple of their eyes. Both of theirs. You had watched them pull each other's hair, slap and punch each other, steal the other's food. You had also listened to Yuuji crying about how mean his brother was. And when you used to find Ryomen sneaking around in the kitchen, stealing Yuuji's favorite snack for his little brother, all you had to do was roll your eyes and train your ears to hear Ryo grumbling about how he was just fooling around and that he'd never do anything to hurt Yuuji on purpose.

Ryomen had made it a point to always refer to Yuuji as his little brother, even though they were born on the same day, from the same womb, killing the same mother as they each took their first breath. Ryo was only a moment early. Several years later, when he had heard from one of their maids how it was really a choice between their mother's life and that of baby Yuuji's, and it was ultimately their mother's decision to let her child live, Ryomen had made up his mind to always protect Yuuji and put him first, and in doing so, he had hoped to always be able to honor their mother's dying wish.

But putting Yuuji first meant taking a step back. Always. Even in matters of the heart. For, the twins always ended up liking the same things, even the same person.

You were the daughter of one of the handmaidens appointed for the twins' father's new wife. You had a type of clairvoyance. Even at the young age of ten, you could read other people's emotions aptly, you knew a person just from the sound of their footstep or their breathing. When you had first walked into the mansion, your tiny hand in your mother's determined grip, you were beyond confused by the duality of the twins. Yuuji wore his heart on his sleeve; you didn't need any special power to tell what was on his mind. Ryomen, on the other hand, you couldn't figure out even with your clairvoyance. And because of that, for the longest time, he became a subject of soul-crushing interest to you. Until he became the boy you feared.

Yuuji would get you flowers from his adventures, and concerns. He always came back with scratches and injuries left on his body for you to fix. He knew how to accept your care with open arms.

But, Ryomen? He had walls so high around him, it always got on your last nerve.

The Lord of the house was quick to replace the twins' mother with a woman who, in a year, had birthed a son. In a few years of time, it was clear who was going to be the successor. You still remember the look on Ryo's face when his stepmother held an elaborate ceremony and made his father declare that her son would be the next Lord. That boy grew up to be a monster, always picking on the girls and bullying the weak ones. One day, he had gone for you, blocking your path from the pond where you bathed back to the house. The more you tried to flee, the more aggressive and vile he became. Until someone, a towering figure, came up from behind him and pulled back his collar.

"Ryo!" You ran to your friend, hiding behind his muscly arm.

"Ah, brother!" The young Lord jested. "You know how it is. Women. Can't tolerate them and yet, can't go a day without them. You wouldn't stand in my way now, would you?”

"Of course not.”

You couldn't believe what you were hearing. Surely, Ryomen wouldn't let a stalker lay his hands on you. But when he stepped aside, and you looked up at his emotionless face, you couldn't be so certain anymore. You trembled, not from the water still dripping from your clothes or the wind that swept your hair onto your face but from fear of the approaching figure. He wasn't as big as Ryomen but you still wouldn't stand a chance against him. The only person you could think of at the moment, who would save you, and not stand aside and watch your demise, was Yuuji. You hated Ryo, despised every speck of his existence. How could he?

You shut your eyes tight as the boy came closer and closer. When you heard a grunt, you opened them to see him flying to the ground. Ryomen had punched his face.

"What in the world?" The Lord sat up, pulling backward on his butt. "I'm going to tell Otou-san on you. You scoundrel, how dare you?”

"Let me give you more to bitch about.”

You watched as Ryo almost leaped on to the boy, pinned him down and started to punch him. The Lord kicked his legs under Ryo's weight, trying to break free, scratched his exposed arms, but nothing budged him at all.

"How dare I?" You heard your friend. "How dare you? How dare you even look at her with those filthy eyes of yours? How dare you even think of touching her?" At the end of every question came a punch that landed straight on his half-brother's jaw, splattering blood to the side.

"Ryo." You called out to him. "Ryo, let him go. Ryo, that's enough. Come on now.”

"No." Another punch. "Not until he's dead." Another punch.

You stood there, shaking, and you didn't even notice when Yuuji appeared, tried to separate his brothers, failed and went running back to bring two servants to pull Ryo back. Only when Yuuji put his arms around you did you finally slump into him, immediately falling unconscious.

When you came around, you saw your mother and Yuuji by your bedside, your mother saying prayers to the Gods and thanking her Ryoryo-chan. "Where is he?" You asked your best friend.

"Otou-san has banished him to the outhouse. You should have been there for that argument.”

"Has he eaten? Did someone clean his wounds?”

"I tried," your mother informed you. "But he wouldn't even let me look at his arm. Ask Yuyu-chan. He's taken his pipe and shut the door on the world.”

You rushed out, Yuuji closely following. When you reached the cabin, you pounded away at the door until Ryomen responded, "Leave.”

"You know I won't. Not until you let me fix your wounds.”

"Go. Away.”

"Why?”

"Because I don't want you to see me like this.”

"Like what, Ryo?”

Before he could answer, Yuuji chimed in, "open the door, Aniki. Let us in.”

"Fuck off, you two.”

"Please." You begged. "Please let me– us see you.”

You heard the latch fall and pushed inside. The air was thick with the stench of burning grass. It made your eyes water. Yuuji kept the door open for the smoke to pass. You immediately got to work. Bringing a bucket and a washrag from the bathroom, you knelt by the bed where Ryo was sitting. "Show me," You said.

"Leave me alone.”

"Who slapped you?" You noticed the red impression of fingers on his cheek. Your fingers rushed to touch it, heal it if you could.

"My father's wife.” Ryo nudged your hand away.

"You mean, your mother?”

"She's not my mother. Your mother is more of a mother to me than my father's wife will ever be.”

You sighed. "Fine. Now, give me your hand.”

"Don't be such a drag, Aniki." Yuuji sat down beside him. "Everything will be fine. And if it isn't, we three will run away together. We'll have a small house on the hills with a tea shop in the front. You and I will go work in the tea farms and she will sell tea to any traveler or tourist or anyone passing by. We'll all be fine. I promise.”

Ryo let out a small smile and patted his brother's cheek. Sighing, he placed his hand in yours, the blood on his knuckles dry and raised. "Did you really need to do this to yourself?”

"Or what? Let that son of a wench have his way with you?”

"I thought that's what you intended, the way you…”

"You maim my heart, woman. You really thought I'd let a vulture have you while I'm still alive and standing?" This was the first time he called you a woman and not a little girl. Maybe knowing another man wanted you made him see you as a woman.

"Aniki, you scared her. You know that, right? I know you were enraged but…”

"That's alright. She can stomach it.”

You looked up to meet Ryomen's gaze, intense and wanting. But wanting for what?

"She fainted, Aniki.”

"That's because she doesn't eat." Ryo smirked. "Yuuji, why don't you go and get some food for all of us?”

You held your breath as Yuuji walked out the door, the ever so compliant, sweet and understanding younger brother, and you were left alone with the tough, delinquent, taller, smirking, challenging older one. You kept cleaning Ryo's hands, your cheeks tepid and chest flushed with all the blood in your body. He grabbed your wrist in an iron grip, bringing it to his lips. He didn't kiss it, just held it there like he was craving your touch.

"I'll become so strong and powerful, bugs like him would think twice, thrice, several times before even looking at you. You'll have nothing to be scared of. Ever.”

You nodded, smiling. Ryo's gaze was so soft at that moment; it was almost a gateway to his soul. For the first time in a decade, when you touched his hand, you could almost tell what he was feeling. His guards were down; he was letting you in on all his secrets. Your fear of him from earlier had dissipated completely, replaced by a warmth you had never felt before. For anyone else. Was this love? The same love your mother had always told you about? She had said, it'd feel just right, that your palm would fit into theirs and their smell would be something you'd recognize even if you were blindfolded.

It did feel right. To know that Ryomen would protect you gave you a sense of relief. You somehow knew the warmth in your heart was reciprocated by him. And for that, you were both grateful and scared.

Your faces inched closer, your heartbeat like a war drum in your ears, but before he could bridge the gap between your trembling lips and his open, smirking mouth, screams from outside the house startled you.

"Bring out the wench," the people shouted.

"Set her on fire.”

"What a disgrace! She seduced the young Lord.”

"Such a shame!”

"No, that is not what happened." You heard your mother trying to defend you, going out of her usual vocal range of what was considered a meek woman. "No, listen, please. My daughter would never. She has grown up in front of your eyes. You know the kind of girl she is.”

You rushed to the doorway, and Ryomen followed. When the people saw you, their screams only grew louder. "Burn her," they said. "Burn her." All of them were servants and guards of the house, colleagues of your mother, people who had once told you that you were just like their own daughter. Their jostling pushed your mother to the ground and you couldn't help but descend into the mob. You heard Ryo's pleas for you to stay back but you couldn't let your mother be victim to a stampede.

The people cornered you, separated you and your mother from Ryo. He tried to push his way through but there were just so many people.

"Answer our questions, wench. Why did you try to besmirch the good young Lord's name and reputation?”

"Weren't you scared for your own good?”

"Who will marry you now that you've given your body up to the young Lord?”

"I will." The answer silenced the whole crowd. With tears in your eyes, you looked up. You knew the voice. The soft yet determined voice that rarely took no for an answer. Your best friend who you always confided in, who knew everything about you. Well, almost everything.

Yuuji came forward and took your hands in his. Several mouths gasped put loud at his gesture. You turned your gaze to where Ryo was standing and saw his face, ashen, like he just realized he'd made a grave mistake.

"I..." Yuuji clasped your hand tighter. "I wanted to talk to you about this for a long time but... I... I also wanted to wait until I had a proper job. But seeing these people vilify you like this, I thought this was the right time. I know what actually happened and that you're an honest woman. What am I saying? Even if you weren't, and if I had your consent, of course, there's nothing I'd like more than having a family with you. What... what do you think? Well you don't have to answer rightaway. Obviously, you need to talk to Okaa-san and I need to talk to Aniki. And…”

"Yuuji," You stopped him from continuing to badger. "I... I don't know what to say." What could you have said that wouldn't have hurt him, and destroyed your decade-long friendship?

You turned your head again, only to see Ryo heading back inside the shed he had been banished to. You needed to know what he was thinking. Did he really have nothing to say?

The crowd was disappearing, disappointed that their bullying had no satisfactory conclusion. You sent Yuuji and your mother back too before rushing to Ryo.

Just as you had feared, you saw him packing clothes and essentials into a bag you had once sewn together for him. "Ryo, what are you doing?" You asked but there was no answer. "Ryo? Ryo?" You followed him around as he picked up more things from around the room. "Ryo, talk to me. Please.”

"Congratulations are in order, I suppose."

"What? No! Ryo, stop." You stood in between him and the doorway. But he was too strong. He picked you up and sat you down on the bed before starting to head out. "Why are you leaving?”

"I have no place here, not now at least.”

"What–”

"Tell me, woman." He turned to you, his bag slinging from his broad shoulder. "Who am I to you?”

You scoffed. As if, that could be put into words. He was the boy who walked behind when Yuuji showed you around town, looking out for any signs of terror. He was the boy who filleted fish for you because he knew you hated chewing on bones. He was the man who almost killed the bastard that wished to consume you. He not only had your heart, you were ready to sacrifice your soul for him.

"See?" He scoffed too.

"What am I to you?" Your question paused him in his tracks. He turned and smiled. Not a smirk, a genuine smile. A melancholic smile. "If it is so easy to put into words, you do it then. What am I to you?”

"A reason.”

Ryomen was already gone before you could interrogate him further. At the time, you had no idea that'd be the last you saw of him, the real him. You sat there, for who knew how long, grieving your friendship, your love, your innocence – all gone in a single day – before Yuuji came back with a tray of food.

"Where's Aniki?" He asked, setting it down.

You composed yourself before answering, lying, "I don’t know. He was gone by the time I came back.”

"Are you–?" Yuuji crouched down in front of you, holding your hands again. There was a lot of eagerness in his grasp, a little impatience too. "Are you still tensed about what happened out there?”

You nodded, sniffling and rubbing off the tears you shed for his brother with the back of your hand.

"Don't worry. They can't hurt you. Not while I'm here. And..." He sensed your concern. "It has got nothing to do with my question, okay? Even if you say no, that's okay too. I'll still always be there for you. Always.”

"What am I to you?”

"What?”

"Yuuji, what am I to you?" You needed to know if there was a simple answer to this question.

He looked around, as if the answer was in the room. When he couldn't find it, he said, "You... You are my best friend. Is that enough?”

"Yes.”

"Great! Now, come, eat something please.”

"No, Yuuji, I meant, yes.”

His eyes grew wider, finally realizing what you meant. "Yes?”

You nodded. "Yes, I'll marry you.”

Until that moment, you weren't sure if this was such a good idea. Even when you actually uttered the word. But the beaming smile on Yuuji's face made it all worth it. All of it, even knowing that your best friend was going to marry a woman who will always love another man more.

please don't copy my work, or publish it elsewhere without my consent. all banners are from pinterest.

[charmedreincarnation]

hii maya!!! i have a success story and im so excited bc this is my first manifestation success story.

for context for everyone else, i was getting bullied at my workplace. my boss hated me and would mock me in front of people and my coworkers disliked me and disincluded me from things and talked behind my back. It was so bad and i was searching for another job instead even though this was so close to my house, the pay was good, the actual work was easy. etc. I told maya abt this and she was such an angel and would let me vent to her and gave me a lot of advice about manifesting.

I wish I could say that I took her advice and changed my life but I honestly struggled a lot. I rmbr crying every single night before going to work and constantly just dreading being there or the thought of having to be there.

But everytime I vented, maya would always tell me to just affirm while listening to theta waves as I was going to sleep so I tried to atleast do that. In hindsight this was a really big thing. I was recently looking into SATS and reading posts about how important what you do before sleeping is because you are super suggestible. I think crying every night made me keep manifesting that my job sucked and stuff whereas affirming that it was great helped to start changing that.

I also tried to ignore the bullying and just act like I was being treated correctly. Like one time my boss said that she wished she had hired someone else and before I would have said nothing and just gone home and cried but instead I just laughed, taking it as a joke, and said that I'll make sure to work hard so that she can be proud of hiring me.

Slowly over the course of 2 weeks things started to change. We got 2 new people added into the team and one of them sits next to me and is my friend and I talk to him a lot. My boss and coworkers are okay with me now, like we have nice small talks and I haven't been undermined in a while. I made an error and before it would have become a big issue and while I did get scolded slightly, it was more of a "be more careful when doing this" versus what I usually got which was "you are so stupid, why are you like this." I also made a lot of other friends at work and work is pretty fun! I look forward to going to work sometimes (not all the time bc I'd rather just be at home in bed) but yeah it has changed so much and I'm much happier.

i just want to thank you so much maya. you are such an angel and i genuinely appreciate you so much. i can't wait to come back to you with a void success story!!

I am beyond proud of you! Your Success is proof that you overcame everything and persevered. But I actually want to point out your reaction to your boss, and encourage everyone to follow suit. You quite literally laughed at the 3D which is what I would do metaphorically but I mean physically probably works better lol.

Regardless I’m happy for everything you’ve accepted as yours. I’m also glad this is only encouraging you to want to go farther and achieve your entire dream life, not just a good one you can tolerate. When I reached this stage I remember I had a thought like “well maybe I should just accept this” “or it’s not that bad now I guess so do I really need to continue or can I chill” and if you have to ask yourself that the answer is no and you know you deserve it all at the highest degree.

[potionpeddlerpatchy]

Hai Patchy!!! Happy Halloween!! Hope I'm not to late but could i get a potion with/for Bakugou if you have one for me or him!!!

I hope you have a wonderful day or night or whenever you see this!!!🧡🖤🧡

Hello Traveler, I can always say that is never too late to receive a special brew or potion from me. You are always welcome to one whenever I am offer them, granted of course you are willing to be patient enough to wait for however long it may take me to create the perfect one for you.

But, your patience will always be rewarded. As of right now I can see something troubles you. That you seem to be close to someone, or wish to be, that just cannot seem to allow themselves the privilege to be vulnerable; despite your attempts to showcase you are. I can see you wish to be closer to them, and allow them this reprieve. Which is very admirable and kind.

To allow that to happen, may I suggest you take my Brew of Blather? It would make even those with lead for a tongue turn into silver. All I ask is that you mixed it within their favourite drink, or even stew, it can be a rather bitter brew to swallow down.

You chewed upon you lip in worry as you continued to mindless stir the hearty stew that you had made; ignoring how it was slowly bubbling up until some flecks of it jumped out and burned your hands. With a quiet exclaim of pain, you pulled your hand away and brought the wounded finger to your mouth, as your free hand turned down the heat.

Normally you weren’t so dazed when completing such a task; on the contrary you loved to make meals for others to enjoy. You were also so alert to ensure that everything came together perfectly. It was just today you had more on your mind than intended. A couple of items that were troubling you that led to your unusual clumsiness.

The main one being the person you were making this dinner for.

Bakugou was a lot of things. He was smart, strong, capable, and had a good caring heart underneath all his bravado – he wouldn’t be in his line of work otherwise. He was also one that wanted to provide, to give his partner and the budding family he wanted to have all they that needed to never have to worry about money, or food, or if they had shelter.

It was that aspect about him, about wanting to get married and have a family, that always surprised all that he told. Especially yourself, not that you thought such a goal was out of realm for even people as brutish as he could be. No, what surprised you was when he told of this domestic dream of his, he wanted you to be apart of it. To be his doting wife, one that would care for his home with the same care he would provide to you to ensure you were fed and safe.

You were blindsided to say the least, as you struggled to even voice a single word about any of the thoughts you were thinking. After all, up until that point you just assumed Bakugou tolerated you. Held a baseline level of respect for you as you mended all the torn and damaged clothing that he, and the others in his troupe, made; but nothing more.

It made you laugh then, as it did now, knowing he thought he made his intentions clear months before his proposal. That the day you helped mended a few shallow wounds upon his arm, to bandage him up enough until he got the proper help he needed was your invitation of courtship. And he stilted compliments as he said thank you after that day, alongside with an intense and lingering stares was his showcase that he had accepted, and thus was doing whatever he could to ensure a proposal.

You thought his bright red face was adorable as, despite your best judgement, you accepted.

Truly you could not have asked for me. Since that day you said you would be his, you were spoiled beyond what was necessary. A beautiful home with all the things you could ever need or want within it. And a doting husband who always showcased his acts of love, not with words, but rather actions. If your eye ever lingered a little too long at something within a shop window, it would appear to you – all wrapped beautifully – upon your kitchen table the next day. Or if you mentioned something was broken, or falling apart, in an offhand manner you would find him working on it on whatever spare moment he had.

But that brought you to your next troubling thought.

Bakugou always did so much for you, and you always felt you could do more for him. To provide him the sense of safety and security he did for you. You could not fight for him, as he could so easily for you, but you knew how horrid his line of work could be. To constantly put your life on the line for another, to constantly be in danger, and to have to sometimes watch as a life slipped from your fingers after you did all you could do, weighed heavy on his soul. And you wished he could allow you to comfort him, to allow you to take on some of that burden for yourself. He never did. Always just walked straight to bed on those days without word; simply just a kiss on your forehead and a small sad smile.

Your heart ached for him. Even as you tired to coax him with gently words to talk about it, to gingerly press your body against his to try and hold him, it just wouldn’t work. Only rarely would he hold you on those days, so tight you felt you couldn’t breath, as he tried to ground himself back – to remind himself of what he still had. It led you down a path only those that are desperate venture into.

You went and visited a peddler. One that made claims could create beautiful potions for any, and all, needs a person might have. You were skeptical when you first walked into her cluttered shop, finding your body tense as your moved about in worry to not brush against anything, your unease began to shrink more and more and you watched her interact with those that seemed to be repeat patrons. To hear them exclaim with joy over what small miracle she provided, to then ask for another was more than enough proof for you to then swallow the anxious lump in your throat and approach her.

“Oh, my poor dear.” She cooed, before you could even utter a word, as her eyes shined with sympathy while she guided you to sit upon a plush chair nearby “Your heart aches so painfully, doesn’t it?”

You allowed yourself to sink into the soft cushion, to enjoy its softness, before you adjusted yourself to sit more upright as you watched her settle down across from you. You tried to think of a response, stopping and starting a few times, before you outright sighed and nodded your head.

“How did you know?” Your quiet voice sang, as your body, tired from pretending, slouched.

“I have been blessed with many talents and gifts, some more manageable than others. One such gift is knowing just what a person desires, what their heart needs.” She began to explain, as she reached her hand out to hold yours, giving it a small squeeze before she continued “I could tell the moment you stepped into my shop, the moment you called out for my aide, that your heart was on the verge of breaking. Not out of rejection, but rather over on behalf of someone else.”

“Can you help me then?” You could feel the corners of your eyes prick with the sting tears, ones that threated to fall out, as you squeezed her hand back.

“Of course I can.”

It was her outright admission that she could that made you trust her. She provided to you a Brew of Blather, an odd-looking liquid that reminded you of the colour of moss. She had instructed you to use it either in some tea, or whatever food you would prepare him that night for dinner.

And here was where you now stood, as you finished kissing the small wound upon your finger where the stew had burned it, as you tried to decide whether or not you should go through with it all. You knew it may help, but at the same time you did not want to trick him into anything. After all, you wanted him to trust you to become vulnerable with you – to do this would set things off to a rocky start at best.

But, as you continued to mull over your dilemma, you had noticed the kitchen door open. Nor did you noticed your hulk of a husband as he shuffled in. It was only after he had wrapped his arms around your waist to cling to you, did you squeak out a gasp if surprise and be brought back to the world around you.

“Thought you heard me…” He mumbled into your hair before he placed a kiss on your crown, you could feel the small smile upon his lips as they lingered there.

“It’s okay,” You breathed out, as you relaxed your tense body to better mold into his “all on me, was lost in thought.”

“What were you thinking about?” His asked, his arms tightened their grip around you as he pulled you more flush against him.

“Nothing really…”

“Oh, is that so?” He questioned as he placed a final kiss to your temple before he tucked his head to rest upon your shoulder. “You normally aren’t so skittish.”

You tired in vain to act unbothered, to seem as you normally were when he got home; but you knew you were doing a horrible job at trying to hide from him your little secret. Especially when his hand wrapped around your wrist to pull it closer – to inspect the small vial of moss-like liquid inside.

“Then what is this?” He asked, though you could not see it, you knew his brow was cocked with curiosity as you closed your eyes tightly, to try and remove yourself from this plane of reality.

“It’s a potion…” You finally whispered out after his question hung like a cloud above you for moments too long.

“A what?”

“A potion.” You replied back, this time with more assertion to ensue he heard you properly “And before you think it, no I am not trying to poison you.”

“Then what is it for, I wonder?” You could hear this slight disbelief in his voice, but his hold upon you remained as gentle as ever – that though his inner thoughts may be screaming danger he knew you wouldn’t harm him.

“I just wanted you to open up” You sighed, as your body slumped down in defeat once more as tears of frustration filled your vision “Just wanted you to confide in me, as a husband should his wife, to allow me to carry some of your burden on the days where it gets to be so heavy.”

You could tell his was silent not out of anger, but merely doing his best to try and form a proper response to your admission; though you knew he was failing as the moment stretched further and further with not another mutter from him. It was not his strong suit, and you knew that.

“I was desperate,” You spoke again, helping him to fill the heavy silence “everything I had tried did not work. So I went and got that, and I thought of using it. But knew I couldn’t.”

“Why?” He finally muttered, his voice soft as he finally let go of your wrist, watching you as you began to twirl the intricate vile between your fingertips.

“Because I knew a dishonest start would not lead to a solid foundation of trust. And above all else, I want you to trust me no matter what.” You ran your thumb over the ridges of the small glass bottle before placing it down upon your counter “To come to me to tell me anything, even if its just to tell me about your day, because you want to, not because you are forced.”

You could hear him swallow the lump within his throat, as his grip on you grew a tighter to the point where you could no longer move. He began to speak but couldn’t find the words. His voice was raw, a sign that he was either going to cry or already was. Clearly he was moved, by what you were not sure. Not sure if it was your utter devotion to not deceive him, or your desperate plea to connect. Whatever it was, you knew you had broken ground, and you would take the victory that small step was showcasing to be.

“It’s alright,” You began to soothe, placing your hands over his own and giving them a gentle squeeze “you don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to.”

You felt him nod his head as he acknowledged your words before that nod turned into a shake; his stuttered breath your cheek as he once again attempted to speak “Would…. Would you like to hear about my day then?”

“I would love to”

I always do love when things naturally fall into line without the need of my special brews. It just proves that with patience, the fates above will help guide you to your own solution. Though, I was more than willing to help speed up that unhurried pace.

I will not ask for you to give it back, though you can if you no longer wish to have it in your possession. I have plenty more you can choose to trade it, should you feel adventurous enough to try~

[shivunin]

The Heart Grown Fonder

A single letter folded into the cover of a book on Ferelden tax law in Vigil’s Keep: 

My dear Warden, queen of my heart, rarest and most beautiful of women, 

I trust this letter will find you, because I will have hidden it in a crate of supplies bound for your Vigil’s Keep. If someone else is reading this, I will retrieve it from you soon enough and you will not like the manner I use to do so. 

Mi vida, life is dull and grey without you by my side in Antiva. Fighting is tragically bereft of people shouting things like “desperation is an ugly perfume.” Such things always gave me something to ponder while we cut down our foes, and in their absence I find combat less than stimulating. What does that mean, by the way? And why did you say it so often? This is not a criticism, you understand; if you were to appear at my side tomorrow and say such things again, perhaps while eviscerating someone twice your size, I would be delighted beyond words. 

Can you believe that the Crows have not given up on me after all that? Such a shame, when you cannot trust a man at his word anymore. I have dispatched perhaps half of those who continue to pursue. If matters remain on track, I should be able to stroll back over to your side of the sea sometime in the next few months. 

Stay strong, my steel; I know that you are simply wilting without my tender care to nourish you. Please, permit me a moment to remind you of what I might do if I were there with you now: 

First, I would unbind your hair and loosen it over my fingers. I am certain it has grown even longer in my absence, and you know how I enjoy feeling it trail along my skin. Then, I would kiss you as you deserve—slowly and with feeling, for as long as you can stand it without—

The message continues at some length, ending several pages later:

It is my wish that my words will offer some stimulation until I may return to your side once more. Take heart, mi vida, my steel; you are always in my thoughts even though you are not in my arms. 

Trust that we will see each other soon. 

—Your Zevran

A series of letters bound together with a dark blue ribbon:

Zevran,

Did you read a naughty broadsheet and decide to stuff all the endearments you could manage into one letter? Words don’t warm my bed, Zev. 

I’m fine. Everything here is fine. 

Take care of yourself. Let me know when you’re planning to come back. I’ll be here.

Ser Grr misses you.

—Arianwen

Zev, 

Scratch the last letter, if you get yourself killed, I’m stuffing Justice in your body and killing you again. Consider it a threat and a promise.

—Wen

Zevran, 

I’m told that these are meant to be longer. I’ll try that this time. 

Justice says that the letters Kristoff received from his wife had descriptions of her day and hopes for the future. I don’t know what that means. I spent most of the day trying to vet candidates for the Calling. It’s not the Blight anymore; it’s important that the people we choose are able to stick it out and hold their own. The Wardens must have a stronghold in Ferelden or what happened to us will happen again, with no guarantee of success next time. 

So—that’s just about every day now. The rest varies, I suppose. Mostly annoying administrative nonsense. Nobles love their paperwork, it turns out. You don’t want to hear about that.

I’ve made friends with the chef. You were right: it’s important to know the person who is most likely to poison your food. She’s nice. Made it out of Highever before Howe destroyed it, which is good for her and us. Makes a damn good stew. Reminds me of the days on the road when we all had to tolerate each other’s cooking. I haven’t gotten any better at it, for the record, but I can peel a potato very quickly now, when called upon. 

Speaking of friends, Isabela stopped by on her way across the sea yesterday. I understand she came to Amaranthine to meet a smuggler contact, but unfortunately I already killed them. Anyway—it was nice to have dinner and catch up. We talked about you. Good things, not that you’d think otherwise.

I meant to say earlier—Justice doesn’t talk about Kristoff much, but he told me a little about what his life was like. Being a Warden and married and all, I mean. It sounded nice. Except for the part where he’s dead, I mean. That’s…not great. I’m glad I didn’t know him before everything else. It’s easier that way. 

Anyway. I hope this was better. I still don’t get the point of these. Why not just wait until you come back to talk about all this? 

You’d better come back. 

Not now, I mean. Eventually. When you’re ready. 

Whichever.

—Arianwen Tabris, Commander of the Grey, Hero of Ferel

Ignore all that. I’m getting too used to signing formal reports.

Zev, 

Did you know that ship captains can perform marriages? Isabela told me yesterday, but I thought she was joking. Nate agreed, but he could also just be fucking with me. I wouldn’t put it past him. I hesitate to ask, but do you know if this is true?

I think about that last trip back from Antiva very often. Maybe if I’d known Nevermind. I miss you. That’s it.

—Wen

Zevran, 

I tried to track down the messenger who took that letter before he could get on a boat, but he made it out of the country first. I’m told I am not allowed to go after him. 

So ignore all that instead. Just pretend you didn’t read it and I sent you a sketch of my chest or something.

—Arianwen

Zevran, 

If you’re getting these letters, please reply. I know I’m not very good at this, but I need to hear from you. 

Just—please.

—Arian Your Arianwen

And finally, tucked into a stack of neatly folded underthings in an armoire in Vigil’s Keep:

My Arianwen, 

If you find this before I find you, I owe you something special. If not—well, you will have me here, either way. 

I am only sorry it took so long. I am certain we will find a way to make up for the long absence.

—Zevran

P.S. Your sentries never even bothered to check the wall they stand on. You should correct this, or instruct your stoneworkers to make the bricks more difficult to climb. I would hate for someone less well-intentioned than I to take advantage.

(For @14daysdalovers day 9: Longing.)

[winns-stuff]

LO APPRECIATION:

Okay I’ve been seeing all of the content about the wedding and.. God do I have thoughts but it’s better to just cool down now with an appreciation so I don’t say anything harsh because genuinely I’m at a point with these rants where it gets hard to say things nicely, I’m ready to just say it how it is and stop sugarcoating it. But we’re not here for that, the lovely goddess that I want to appreciate today is underrated as hell and basically an antagonist to Persephone blah blah whatever, me personally I’ve always loved her design and I genuinely think she’s peak character design. The amazing goddess that we all know and hopefully love is Hestia! And everyone clapped.

Yeahh so I thought I would hype my girl up more because genuinely I don’t like how the story treats her at fucking all. First off, I hated how they got rid of her original colors and made her look like an off brand Hera it’s really annoying and I wish they actually had character sheets down. Hestia was always right about everything I don’t care and everyone tried to make it seem like she was a prude, y’all just can’t fathom that Hades is a bad guy and that it would do Persephone good to stay away from him. Hestia has common sense, she’s a sensible and rational lady and she’s the only character that I still tolerate and hasn’t been affected by bad characterization that we see for every single fucking chapter. I adore her interactions with others and I genuinely feel like if the narrative wanted to make her some sort of antagonist or villain at least make her a cooler more threatening kind. I’m thinking live action Kaa from the Jungle Book Movie, we all know that Hestia is a very reserved and relaxed goddess so if you really did want to make her intimidating you could use that to your advantage. Like honestly, why did she have to be such a small role in a plot that took up three seasons?? It’s annoying and she deserved more screen time for my sanity.

Next I would like to talk about how fans treated her. I once answered an inbox that stated that some fans actually make disgusting comments about her weight and body type to insult her all because she took the damn coat from Persephone. It’s immature and incredible insensitive to go around saying stuff like that and it’s even harder to give stans the benefit of a doubt when they’re starting shit like this. I absolutely love how people try and defend themselves by saying it’s fictional while still going beyond the line just because you don’t like what this fictional character did. You should never insult someone’s body I don’t give a fuck how mad you are you don’t go around doing that because your favorite character got brought back to reality. It makes me sick I even have to say this, I genuinely feel like Rachel herself should actually call her fans out because this is a common theme for the fandom and I’m tired of seeing it. I don’t care about the whole “she’s a creator she’s not responsible for the ignorance of other people” statement when she has full fucking control over her fans and she’s obviously very active in the fandom. I’m not saying that she should just hound them like dogs whenever she can but I am saying that this is a big issue and since she is active in the community and she wants to be praised for all of this representation that she gives she shouldn’t be allowing people to openly insult fat characters as harshly as people do. It’s time to actually address it.

Speaking of representation, I absolutely hate how fat women in this fucking comic have little to no screen time at all. It’s so incredibly annoying since they always look so good, I can only count three women that we’ve seen in the entire LO series alone with Hestia’s body type and I hate how their beauty only gets seen once or twice every blue moon. Not all women have big boobs, perfect waist, and big butts and that’s okay. I would love to see more body diversity and I would absolutely love it if the few characters who represent different bodies be shown as more than villains. Hestia didn’t have to be an antagonist and we could’ve gotten more chapters of her and Persephone bonding, she could’ve been the one to show Persephone around and she could’ve been the one to explain to Persephone why Demeter is the way she is. She also could’ve been a strong figure in her support group or even a reminder of the mortal realm, hell she could’ve even been the cool auntie! Just anything except for this character that’s only there for you to hate.

Besides my nitpicks though I absolutely loved her wardrobe. She wears more clothes than Persephone is all I’ll say (I only say that because I genuinely feel like some of the things she wears is the same thing.. But that’s only because of all the white she wears all. the. time. It gets confusing as hell) and I really love how well they go with her personality and overall just how pretty she looks in them. Like honestly you’d think she got blessed twice with beauty by the way she just effortlessly outdoes everyone in the main cast, won’t even talk about Hera.

I also really love her personality, do I love that the comic wants us to believe she’s super strict and partially an ass kisser? No she deserves better than that. I love all of her facial expressions and the way that she delivers her lines, something about it makes me cackle and it’s only because I imagine it being put so bluntly and so straight forward. Like I get the feeling she has no chill when she says things and it makes me giggle every single time, I’ve always thought of her as a little portal to LO because in many ways I understand every single emotion she’s ever had especially towards Persephone and Hades. Stop acting like she’s crazy yall I’m begging you, to be frank with you I feel like she’s the only one that does genuinely care about Persephone because I just see her being a caring person. I don’t think that she’s evil or strict or any of that, I believe that just like Demeter she wants to see Persephone being free and happy and obviously something about Hades (we all know why) isn’t giving her the idea that she will be free and happy.

Again going back to her original character design, it was peak character everything. The colors were so pretty and it really did match her nicely, I will forever be sad that I’ll never see more content of her but hey at least they did her a decent job on the recent episodes. Despite the whole Persephone and Demeter conversation she looked absolutely stunning and I was just so focused on her for the most part.

Anyways, that’s all I’ve got to say for her now but the praise will not stop just at this post. I really do hope that Hestia will continue to live her life peacefully and completely cut Persephone out because she genuinely gets on my nerves and I have a feeling that the feeling is mutual for Hestia.

[thepalmofyourfreezinghand]

Oh man...I wish the other anon hadn't brought that discourse because when I read it at the time I was so mad, like really. I have such a low tolerance when it comes to see unfair claims over someone and general lack of empathy. And the fact that to Taylor all the grace in the world is given is just...no swiftie would accept if someone said she should have gone suck it up buttercup over such a drastic lifestyle that ultimatly affects your mental health. But somehow it's ok to say that about Joe. That he should have just go with the flow and not give a damn about his own feelings, cause Taylor is more important. This is really what this fandom was asking him to do and the fact that they don't stop and think damn that's maybe a messed up request is incredible in the worst way to me.

And then yesterday I had these feelings ressurface because someone tweeted that they weren't together anymore because he clearly doesnt enjoy public life - fair take if it stopped right here - but Travis oh Travis works because he decided to jump into the fishbowl for her. The goddamn audacity to use that metaphor to compare the two as if the Lover mv doesn't exist and Taylor herself didn't say that jumping into the fishbowl was exactly what Joe did for her.

It's like so goddamn unfair to say stuff like this as if their relationship was some kind of fling. As if the contrast he went through from his normal life to immediately jump into hers was some basic ask. I'm not pitying his choice because it was his choice and it was a risky as hell choice that basically changed the course of his career that had barely started. Who knows what kind of path he would have gone. He had no time at all to even experience a bit of fame on his own and decide for himself what was comfortable to him. He had no time to even build a fanbase of its own. Like y'all realize the huge ask it was for someone you barely even met? It was far from a basic ask. And then people act as if he realized he didn't like it and bailed, when the guy actually probably had throughout the years various moments of doubt and disconfort and yet he did suck it up buttercup for more than 6 years despite of that. But for swifties that's not enough ofc. You really think he did it because of the nice vacations and places to sleep? How come y'all are stupid as in a material value as if that was the case accepting to marry would be a no brainer. Would you have preferred they got married but still as unhappy as before? Saying no to marrying her wasn't the choice to pick; if anything given what breaking up with Taylor Swift entails it was the hard choice actually. It tells me he has his own values and principles and those come first even in situations where the gains would be big

Then adding the comparison to Travis as an extra is just the extra cherry on top for disgust. As if you can even compare. As if his career isn't established and he had something to proof. As if Travis isn't more than used to fame and even likes the attention (his own mom said that he could handle the attention because he likes it. And you wanna tell me that Joe's situation was just the same but he was a bitter man instead. As if even beyond feelings, Travis hasn't been leaning into benefiting from this relationship so freaking much

I don’t agree with everything you said but I absolutely agree with the general sentiment you expressed, anon! Yeah!

The main thing is always centering Taylor: some fans’ entire morality is very Taylor-centric.

Taylor dates a racist? Who cares, at least he shows up for her!

Joe doesn’t attend the first stop of the Eras tour or Red TV release week because he’s working? He never should’ve gotten those roles, he should always put his own work after Taylor’s!

Travis talks about Taylor in his podcast? How dare he, let’s hope he asked for her permission to do that!

Joe is uncomfortable with Taylor’s fame? He should’ve sucked it up and accepted things as they were!

Taylor’s partners are ALWAYS and EXCLUSIVELY judged by how much they put Taylor first, how much they let her shine, how much they express their love for her publicly and how much they treat her as a “goddess”. It’s so dehumanizing for everyone involved.

[s-aprua]

//kaveh character story spoilers

.

.

tldr: kaveh has so much angst and I love him for that. babygirl is suffering (I am suffering with him) (also some sucrose parallels bc I'm sucrose's no.1 fan and also some flavors of haikaveh angst)

Foreword

this is honestly just the word dump I threw together bc I couldn't sleep, thinking about angsty kaveh art and how he may now be my second fav character

what's not to love about a man so filled with angst, so riddled with guilt and unable to escape the ghosts of his past? who believes everyone can reach the same heights if they work together, but unable to let others see his own weaknesses? who hates loneliness, but would suffer through it for the happiness of others? wishing to attain the pinnacle of his craft, even if he has to give up everything to see it through? a man who wishes to love everyone around him, but is unable to accept any for himself?

Idealism

ok this is the sucrose part and it is kinda a stretch but I like both of them very much and my target audience is always me, I do what I want

kaveh designs with practicality and artistry in mind, unwilling to give either up, to the point that when he finally gets to create something that he can go all out on both fronts on, he is willing to give up his home to see it through (even then he still owes dori for helping him find the project). when he works with others, he tries to help others keep up because there shouldn't be a gap between "geniuses" and those who aren't, even of it means more work for himself. sucrose is so intent on bioalchemy because of a childhood promise to reach a mythical domain from a fairytale with her ex-friends, both of which have moved on (one literally never returns to mondstadt, one breaking off their friendship after a domestic tragedy). regardless, she still works to achieve the paradise they wished to see as the only way she can make good on that promise. even now she hopes beyond hope that if she can create the wonderland from that fairytale, her friends will return. neither of them have accepted their reality; kaveh's idealism alone isn't enough to fund the construction of a palace, carrying extra burdens wasn't enough to bridge the gap between alhaitham and him and their fellow researchers; sucrose's friends are unlikely to return if she is even able to create that paradise in the first place

(bonus: not gonna type an essay for this one, but there's just something about the way they have lost people but don't let others know it hurt them; kaveh pretending it was fine when his mom left, sucrose never mentioning her friends or the wonderland to anyone)

Alhaitham

I have been typing on mobile and frankly the word vomit and angst have quite thoroughly rotted my brain, sorry if this no longer makes sense

god these two are so. the whole opposites thing they have going on. yes ok shipping them is cool, I get it (roommates, bickering like they're married, opposites attract, etc) but like. imagine this. they both care about each other, ever since their akademiya days, but they express it differently; kaveh with his whole "I wanna help people unconditionally, but if you help me, I will return the favor even if I suffer for it" vs alhaitham with his "I don't care what other people think, I do what I want (and I want you to stop making yourself suffer, why won't you let me just help you)" (ok yeah I made that last part up, pretty sure that wasn't quite how it went) and because of this and on account of how stubborn they both are, neither of them are able to ever see eye to eye again. they eventually come to tolerate each other but they'll never be able to be what they once were; after all, their relationship as built on a foundation of sand. kaveh's mom had just left him, and he had heard about a genius new student; maybe someone who could fill a bit of the loneliness in him. they were perpendicular lines, different from the start, only intersecting once, and bount to drift down different paths

opposites angst aside though, an alternate flavor of angst: alhaitham tries to show care/affection for kaveh, but kaveh with his paranoia of abandonment and fear of loving and getting hurt again, rejects him (if anyone has heard 'namonaki kanjyou' by usotsuki, yea).

that's all I have for that one I am tired and the brainrot is getting harder to fight off

[kfanopinions]

His, siiis! I send you my answer anonymous in cade someone get offended

For me, I think that ships are normal for fandoms, especially for kpop fans, something I've read a lot is that "It's better for them to have relationships with each other than other people" and I feel that it is a very toxic thought, if at all. Are you really a fan? Shouldn't you be happy because your idol is happy? I'm fine with ships where they don't involve +18 things, because at least I know people who consider their idols to have such a beautiful friendship that they don't consider that someone other than the other person in the ship can know them and treat them better, so I think it's not something bad, however, I also don't like the idea that they assume someone's sexuality because you don't know how the other person feels, of course, being a public figure they must be used to that kind of comments, making it uncomfortable but "bearable"? , but already, the comments +18 do make me uncomfortable and something that should not be mentioned because they are messing so much with the integrity, friendship, and sexuality of the idol.

Hope you are doing well! 💗, love you 🫂

i’m going to put this under a read more lol

omg…i hate that reasoning so much. why some fans find it more tolerable that their fav idols be in a relationship with each other than someone else is beyond me. i adore v of bts but if it’s true he’s dating jennie then i wish them a happy relationship. idc if they’re dating or if they get married. the only thing i care about like mentioned is their happiness. also jennie is my 2nd fav lisa being my fav so if taennie is real…. yay 😃🥰

thank you for saying about an idols sexuality. we as fans don’t know at all. this is why i don’t say ‘they’d want a girl who is…’ because how do i know? the one someone could be asking me about could be gay or bisexual or asexual 🤷🏽‍♀️ we just don’t know.

while most idols i don’t believe give a rats ass about the ships (you know part of the job description and if they’re okay they play that role well) there could be some that DO have a problem with it. if the idols are participating and show clear signs of not really caring that’s good they can have fun with their fans as long as both sides realize that it’s just all fun and games and not get their wires crossed. when i think about nct ships that seem to have fun it’s renhyuk and yumark. i want to say markhyuk but mark has shown clear signs that he does have boundaries lol sorry haechan 😂

i also wonder and this is through the words of my mom (which i never thought about till she said it) but i wonder if fans realize they are inadvertently obsessing (i wanted to say f*tishizing) over male x male relationships. i see this in both male kpop groups and with the anime community as well. ppl drawing pictures, writing stories about male characters and real life people acting in a sexual nature with each other. while i myself take part in fan fiction i don’t write bxb stuff at all. because that could really make someone super uncomfortable depending on their own personal beliefs. (but there was this one baekyeol story i read YEARS AGO that had me crying it was soooooo good!!!! 😭😭😭😭 don’t ask what it was called cuz i tried to hunt that story down but i think the person removed it 😩 it was soooo good….)

i see most of this behavior on twitter and not on tumblr. on tumblr it’s fans “claiming” an idol is theirs. though it’s for fun their words are still 😬😳😬😳 like if i were an idol i’d be scared of a few of them lol 😂 maybe i just end up on the perverse side of twitter and tumblr somehow 🤷🏽‍♀️😅 it is funny to read some of it🤣

but yeah i’m sure no one here would have been offended by your words sis but thanks for responding 🫂🥰

believe it or not i got sick again 😜 so i was taking it easy for a while. still not at 100% yet hope you’re doing well 🩵🩵🩵 love ya too 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

[lebretdonna]

A month has passed, the worst is over and I have waited long enough, I cried enough, I isolated myself enough, I drank to oblivion enough, I waited beside my phone dying for a text to save me from my misery enough, April is a new beginning, renewed my gym subscription, deleted every account I had permanently and made new ones, I am in the best shape I have ever had in years, my birthday is in 3 months, I have 3 months left to live my 21st year to the fullest, to start my 22nd year with a healed heart and be a new woman free from attachments, my friend is taking me to a bar next week and introducing me to his friends hopefully one of them is a lesbian lmao, I can now make moves on every man I was attracted to physically but rejected because of my naive loyalty when I am with or without him, lmao the second week apart I saw a man in the cafe he was so attractive I literally ran away from him once he sat next to me, I knew if we clicked I wouldn't get my hands off of him, his veiny neck and arms gave me chills, I wish I stayed because at the time I ran away from this potential he was out there having a date with the whore he got matching French hats for... Fucking liar told me he got me this grey one for me while wearing it with her why tf anyone would use someone's present? One for a photo and one for a date LMAOOOO present my ass fucking liar, imagine your bf of 5 years never posting a pic for any dates you ever had but ran to post the date he had with whore he just knew in 2 months and breaking up with you because of her and then posting a story having a glass of wine with her with the matching hats he got for her was I fucking stupid to tolerate this shit? And typing "home" beside her fucking name? One fucking hour from leaving me because of her???????? What the fuck? How tf did I bear seeing the man I love break up with me to hang out with the woman I hate? How tf did I let that slide and BEGGING HIM to forgive me for thinking badly of him after he fucking broke up with me once and blocked me to hang out with her and in the second time refusing to take me back so he can have 1-4 good months with her and like even if they didn't fuck my man choosing another woman over me and leaving me for months and spend time with her and the other whore instead is straightforward cheating how tf did I let it slide? Holy fuck now I relate to selena gomez's lyrics "in two months you replaced us like it was easy, made me think I deserved it in the thick of healing" in her song lose you to love me, I really have to hate him to love me, everyday goes by I hate him more and it gets more impossible to ever get back he keeps betraying me every fucking day, I was willing to save myself, my heart and my body for one man only for the rest of my life without ever feeling like I am missing out on something because to me love was enough but where has it led me? Depression, overdosing on sedatives daily, alcoholism and beyond... no more self-destruction for someone who never deserved me or loved me from the start and ended up betraying me and ghosting me, everytime I wrote down my hurt for losing someone it got easier, I wrote about 3 people in the past here and I moved on from them all and never looked back, this is the greatest loss of my life losing the love of my life but it was one sided so it feels like the biggest scam in my life, he knows my su*c*dal tendencies and he still left me at my worst and lived the best time of his life with my replacements non-bothered if I lived or died why would I care if he lived or died then? He's fucking dead to me and I wish him nothing but fucking agunish like everyday I suffered this month, 2 out of his 3 former exes cheated on him and that's exactly what he deserves because he's a cheating piece of shit just like them he never deserved my heart he deserves a whore like him like the fucking whore he's with everyday now the fucking desperate slut he chose over me he's fucking dead to me

[cleverbarefoot-man-blog]

Ina-my best friend in the past 20 years.

Ina-Kristin, a beautiful woman, I think one of the few developed people I have ever met, I am still experiencing so many sensations just thinking about her. its been over 6 months that we broke, after a relationship that lasted about 2 years. its been very hard on me since I had not only lost a partner but also a friend. I want myself to belief a lot of things about this relationship and I notice that I carry some envy when ever I scroll trough her facebook page, I am happy to see that she is finally having a genuine smile again, at the same time I wished I was there with her, I wished I could experience the things with her. the pain it gives me surrounding my gut is a bit more tolerable then it was a couple weeks ago, it still hurts but finally I can accept that these separations just hurt. I had attached myself where i thought I would never attached to someone like that anymore. I still want to kiss her, hold her and tell her everything will be fine, I want to be there for her like I could not do, in the relationship at the time. not having any relationship with her at all tears me apart, I know that what I have done was not ideal and even though I thought I was doing the best I could, it was not enough, not for me. I wanted to be there but my way of thinking at the time prevented this from happening. I wanted to be consumed by her to be real, but my ego would not let serve at al times, I can see my own brokenness and where I thought I knew hers, i desperately failed to find her brokenness and failed her in being her support, I wanted her to flourish, to bloom, to reach the night sky and go beyond the horizon. now it seems like she is there but because the way I have acted in our relationship I do not get to be a part of it, shamefully I feel about this. I wish I had her to express myself to, since she always knew a way to explain to me that there are different ways to look at it. for this I carry some self hatred, for some reason I don't like the part of me that is still attached to her. it almost feels like that is the abandoned child part of me that I keep kicking in the face. I thought I knew myself in the past years, al I am doing now is processing the wounds I have, the retrospective pains that took me so a long time to understand, sometimes failing to understand letting it go while unprocessed. I want to badly how I don't want to care who I am, I want to care where I am and what I am doing, what I like and who I fuck, when I am getting children, and fuck you Ina, I will love you for ever, I hate that we are not together.

[the-ipre]

.

[saltymongoose]

What kinda Stuff do you think the boys would do on the player's birthday? (My birthday is July 2nd which is literally tomorrow) What gifts would they give? Would they throw a party? - Boxy Anon

Ooh, Happy Birthday, Boxy Anon! :D 🎉💝🎉✨ I would answer this as a typical ask, but this is a special occasion, so have some hcs instead! <3

They Celebrate the Player's Birthday ft. Hank, Deimos, Sanford, & 2BDamned (+ Tricky & Jebus)

(TW: Yandere, Obsessive Behavior)

- [HANK J. WIMBLETON] -

Hank can't remember ever gifting someone anything before or at least putting real effort into it. He's more the type of person to refuse to get involved in stuff like that; celebrating the birthdays of comrades is frivolous and a waste of time in his eyes. They're probably gonna be dead soon anyway, so why would he bother?

However, this is special. It's the birthday of his Player; the one person he adores above all others. And the only person he really cares the slightest bit about. What kind of vessel, no partner, would he be if he didn't put in any effort?

Hank doesn't quite know what to do for birthdays except for gifts. (People still do that, right?) However, he'll go above and beyond to help Doc make something of a party for you. He's extremely tall, which makes him useful with hanging things up, mainly the streamers that 2B somehow got a hold of and a banner that Deimos and Sanford had worked on.

He's even willing to go out and give "invitations" to other grunts you like if Doc says it'd be a good idea. Even if he knows he'll regret it later; the three other members of their little group were already too much, in his opinion. But he can tolerate their presence, as long as you're happy.

He'll also fight past anyone to be the first to wish you a Happy Birthday in the morning since he finds a strange satisfaction in beating them to it. If he happens to slide into bed next to you and cuddle you for half an hour or so, since you're still so drowsy and don't want to get up, that's just another benefit. (At least until Doc comes to pull him out because they have a party to plan, Hank, for god's sake, stick to the schedule for once-)

Hank isn't really the crafty type. Instead, he prides himself on finding you things that you'll use all the time. He knows that he'd prefer something more utilitarian when it comes to gifts anyway, and he knows the most about tools and guns, so hopefully you'll like what he comes up with.

He gets you a small gun, well, small to him anyway. It's perfect for you, and kitted out with all the attachments he could get his hands on when out in the field. (What, did you think he'd go to Deimos to have him make you some? Not a chance, this was his gift for you.)

In addition to this, he also gives you one of his switchblades. The very same he'd been carrying when you first controlled him, back when they had first attacked the Nexus Core. It's a little sentimental for someone like him, but you bring out that side quite often, so he doesn't care.

It's worth it when you tear open the wrapping paper to it, already haphazard-looking since Hank's not the best when it comes to putting gifts together. (He tries though. For you.) You open the box to find them and give him a soft smile, and his heart stutters. Ordinarily you'd be taken aback, but with how clean everything is and the way you recognize the switchblade, you know just how much consideration he put into the gifts. "You're going to have to teach me how to use these, you know." He nods quickly, already excited to spend time with you.

(And perhaps puffing up a bit in pride when the others glare, realizing that he's somehow managed to drag you into the long process of self-defense training with him. Then again, there's no better person to teach you combat than the most wanted man in Nevada, right?)

- [DEIMOS] -

Deimos is extremely excited for your birthday; he's probably more anticipated for the date than you are, to be honest. The moment he found out what day it was, he got to work on planning stuff for it.

In fact, Doc didn't even need to work on special lighting or any sound systems to play music at your party, since Deimos had already planned it like a month in advance. He'd already made the systems for it as well and probably threw in some lasers to make a light show for you. What? He wants to go all out for you, it's what you deserve.

(And also really wants to show up everyone else who's at the party. They may have brought a gift, but did they fix up the entire building so it's presentable and give you precisely the atmosphere to have the best party imaginable? No.)

He begrudgingly allows Tricky to use his equipment to act as a DJ for you. He doesn't want to fight him in front of you at your party (and potentially lose, that would be mortifying). And if seeing the clown choose music for you is something you'd like, who is he to argue?

His gift for you is a small robot. Well, a homemade kit for one anyway. He recalled you asking about his work when he was soldering some electronics together, and he figured if he got everything to make something, he could spend more time with the person he loves above all else and indulge in your curiosity in the process.

It's a convenient excuse to spend some hours with his favorite person, cuddling up with you as he instructs your movements and you put it together. You make it that day, and he grins into your neck proudly whenever you do something successfully and show him.

(Did he purposefully make it complex just to spend more time with you as you put it together? Yes. Not that he'll tell you this outright. Besides, it's not hurting anyone if he manipulates the situation a little bit like this. From the way you relax and lean back into him, you must like being perched in his lap like this, so what's the issue?)

It's about the size of a puppy, with almost a flashlight for a head and a ton of helpful attachments and orders programmed into it. You need it to hold something for you? Sure. Go fetch you your drink from across the room? It can do that too, and swivel to make sure none of it spills.

It also functions as a comm to, since it's linked to their main radio frequencies in case you need to message them when you go out. (And a little tracking feature in case they ever lose you. It doesn't hurt to know where you are at all times, in case you ever leave their sight for too long.)

Overall a very useful tool, but when you tell him that the real value of the gift was the time spent with him, he can't help the scarlet blush that covers his face, and the giddy grin he hides as he hugs you and nuzzles into your cheek.

- [SANFORD] -

With your party, Sanford works with Deimos to make you a banner for your party, since Sanford has some sewing experience and is pretty good at finishing up the fancy lettering Dei puts together. However, his main contribution is the food.

Sanford's cooking is heavenly, at least according to you, so he's willing to use his skills to make their party for you that much better. It doesn't matter what the others want or what their preferences are, he's making your favorite everything. Even before the party, he's decided to surprise you with your favorite breakfast in bed, and he does the same with your lunch and any snacks you want.

He's actually spent countless hours practicing the dishes to get them perfect, so he's incredibly happy when you dig in and give him compliments on it (especially without anything going wrong). Perhaps if he proved that he was the best at cooking, it'd make him have an edge over the others in this little competition for your praise.

(Funnily enough, Hank was considering sabotaging the food until Doc and Sanford made it clear how important it was for the event, to which he decided to stop anyone else from entering the kitchen to tamper. It's weird, how fast he changes his tune whenever something matters to you.)

Sanford was actually plagued by indecision when it came to what gift he should give you. It had to be really special, something that would show how important you are to him and just how much he cares about you. Which is difficult, because there's very little that can actually hold a candle to how much Sanford loves you.

In fact, he's half-tempted to contact his mom to see if she has any advice. What do you give a prospective lover, anyway? He has had short-lived experiences with previous "partners", but none that he cared about as much as you, so he's panicking a fair bit.

He's actually the first to ask you what you'd actually like for your birthday, but if you don't have an answer (because he asked you six months before it happened), that's fine too. If you do give him a concrete answer, he'll try to find whatever it is you want, even if it takes him entire weeks' worth of searching in the city. Hell, he'll even go to Nevada Central if you want something from there. Any amount of effort is worth it, for you.

But if you don't tell him what you want, he'll try to find something that'll have some materialistic and sentimental value. At least that way you can pawn it if you don't like it, right? (He's preparing for the worst, but he knows he'd be devastated regardless if you didn't like it. He's lucky you do, a lot.)

He finally decides on getting an intricate, custom-made ring for you. It's practical enough, not disruptive to the point it gets in the way, nor thick enough to cause a break in your finger if you punch someone. He's very particular about the design, and he had to use quite a lot of the money he'd saved from previous jobs for it, but it was worth it.

He brings it along with whatever flowers he can scrounge up in Nevada as well, and he's totally willing to go out of the city just to find flowers for you (and attempt to keep them alive and hidden before your birthday), if he can't find any where you are. (That's romantic, right?) Visiting a florist that takes an entire two-day trip to get to just for a single event that's important to you? More likely than you'd think.

You grin at the bashful expression he has when he presents them to you, though your look turns a bit teasing when he pulls out the ring box (one that looks like it's from a rather expensive place, at least in your mind). "You planning to propose to me, hon?" You ask. He stammers and turns bright red, and you laugh and hug him a little closer to you as you open the box. (Though in the back of his mind, he makes a note to keep that business card from the Jeweler. Might be useful one day.)

- [2BDAMNED] -

Setting up parties is extremely difficult in Nevada, but 2BDamned has it handled. He's created entire paramilitary organizations branches, so organizing a birthday party of all things should be easy. At least, it would've been if he wasn't such a perfectionist with it.

Doc usually just lets things handle themselves, but when it comes to matters concerning you, he can't help but micromanage some (all) of the things that have to be done. Deimos thought this would happen, so he just decided not to tell 2BDamned about his plans till they were done (much to the man's annoyance).

Sanford was less lucky, though he eventually stops the interruptions to his cooking and the banner-making by helpfully reminding Doc that he has no idea what Sanford is really doing. (Perks of being the only one skilled in the culinary arts. And 2BDamned isn't much of an artist either. Then again, neither is he, but he has Dei's help, okay?)

You can't fault Doc for it though, you deserve only the best from them, and he'd rather die than let anything ruin this day for you. He instructs the boys to eliminate any threats within a two-mile radius to prevent any attacks or interruptions, he has a strict guest list, he keeps an eye on all radio chatter for enemy movements, and he instructs SQ agents to be in Nexus City to warn him of anything happening.

Is it a bit too paranoid? Perhaps, and he'll admit that. But why would he risk something messing up the party that he painstakingly put together for you? And even worse, risk disappointing someone he loves? No, that was unacceptable.

He spends most of his time at the party watching over everyone and making sure you're not being overwhelmed by all the grunts who clearly want your attention. In addition to this, he also keeps an eye on them to prevent any squabbles or fights from breaking out, and keeps a hand on his comm in case any of his agents report anything. He's on edge the entire time, but he'll assure you that he's fine regardless.

It's only after the party's over that he'll pull you into his office to give you his gift. It's two things; a necklace with an anatomical heart and a shoebox filled with papers. The papers are reports, notes, photos, and a diary, all concerning what you realize to be your last Arena Character. Doc knows of the deep connection you had with them since they wrote extensively about you in their journal. To be honest, 2BDamned thought it was just a side effect of enmeshment, but now he knows better. The Arena Character was carved into who they were by your careful instruction and insight, so it is only right that their stuff belongs to you, now that they're gone. It's sweet, even if it makes you tear up a little bit. (But he'll be there to comfort you if you need him, no matter what.)

The heart is different from a human's, but only very slightly. You assume it's a grunt's and you are correct. "You already have mine," 2BDamned says offhandedly when he reaches around to help you put it on, and you stiffen with a blush. "But, I figured it'd do well to give you a more physical representation of that as well. If you'll have it." And me, he wants to say. But judging from the warm look in your eye, and how you reach up to give him a kiss on his unmasked cheek, you have at least some idea of what he's saying. Or at least, that's what he assumes.

//- {BONUS} [TRICKY & JEBUS] -//

Tricky is hyped for your birthday, to put it lightly. Like Deimos, he plans out extravagant gifts and song mixes for you, even if he can't make all of the former due to a lack of materials. His entire "room" of the abandoned place he's decided to stay in is covered wall to wall in plans about it (and enamored rantings about you, some even spray-painted over the walls).

Honestly, he would've just invited himself to the party if you hadn't sent for him, but now he doesn't have to try figuring out where you are, so that's a plus. (He's totally willing to fight and possibly kill Hank if he got in the way, but it seems he won't have to do that. At least not this time.)

His main gift for you is a spray-painted portrait of you! It's very stylized, and you're holding up dual peace signs and winking. To get all the detail in, he made it pretty big, so you're gonna have to hang it up somewhere there's a lot of open space. But it's honestly very nice looking, and you can't say you expected art of all things.

In addition to this, he also gets you a mixtape of the songs that remind him of you, though most of it is EDM, so getting a lyrical connection is going to be difficult for most of it. This is also the same tape he insists on going through at your party. (And yes, he will threaten to hit Deimos with his sign if he tries to pry him away from the DJ booth.)

Jebus is one of the few who've actually celebrated birthdays before, mainly Hoffnar's. However, instead of this being a casual thing, he actually puts a lot of effort into his gift and the way he presents himself for this. It's your birthday, so he should make himself look as well put together as possible. He wouldn't want you to think he's not putting effort into your day.

He makes a visit to Nevada Central to get his clothes dry cleaned, he shines his armor (because he'd prefer not to get killed on the way to your current place of residence), and he pulls his hair up. He cleans up really well, to be honest, but a part of him is still really desperate for your outward approval, so make sure to compliment him. (You also get to see his face light up with a blush when you do so, so why not?)

Jebus' gift for you is a card, which seems kind of lackluster until you take into account the fact that it's more like a love letter. Inside the envelope are pages filled with poetic musings of affection towards you and how much he values and adores you. It is extremely heart-felt, and you might have to read the final three quarters in private because it makes you emotional (and you know the boys will get hostile if they see you cry).

He's also the one who tries to reign in Tricky and stop him from fighting Hank over who sits next to you (amongst other things). Though if they're too unruly, he'll just take the place at your side instead, purring lightly as you lean your head on his shoulder. It may have been your Birthday, but having you so close and pressed up to his body, with your characteristic warmth seeping into him, is a gift in itself.

[sepublic]

Why did Odalia allow Emira and Edric in Illusions?

I’ve seen people wonder how Emira and Edric are in Illusions if they seem to be looked down upon, especially with a parent like Odalia expecting the best of her kids! To dabble into some potential explanations;

For starters, illusions might not be looked down upon to begin with? Bria, Angmar, and Gavin give me major jock vibes, what with the physicality of their magic, bullying the smaller Gus and Mattholomule, and seeing the Galdorstones as a litmus test for ‘real’ magic.

Given their immature tendencies, it’s possible that they’ve made an easy and shallow mistake of reducing the value of magic down to its physical strength, instead of the wider applications- Which fits young and overconfident kids from Glandus, which evidently had some toxic ideas.

This could be a shallow Glandus perception that doesn’t grasp the full extent and potential of magic beyond just physically smashing and fighting in a straightforward manner, which might just add to the school’s rivalry with Hexside; But I digress...

The thing about Odalia is that she’s definitely underhanded and a cheater herself- So it makes sense of her to approve of ‘lesser’ tactics anyway, because she might see herself as Lilith, having to use whatever it takes to win. Doesn’t matter if it’s honest or has integrity, Odalia never cared about that... So she wouldn’t be approaching Illusions with the sort of dismissive bias of jocks.

After all, Oracle magic doesn’t seem to be entirely physical- It is to an extent, hence why Selene is able to fight Willow for at least a few seconds... But otherwise, Oracle magic seems to focused on more intangible things. It’d be hypocritical of Odalia to embrace Oracle magic but then judge Illusions, but then again she’s no stranger to hypocrisy either.

Maybe she’s tried to vicariously place her kids in ‘real’ magic tracks and only succeeded in Amity... But again, Illusions might not actually be looked down upon, at least on a societal level. There might be some bias amongst covens who think their magic is superior to that of another, but Belos designated Illusions as one of his nine major covens for a reason- And he is definitely a ruthless pragmatist with a utilitarian view of magic.

After all, Boscha mocks Willow’s choice of Plants despite her friend Amelia being there, and Angmar is played off as supposedly better than Gus for it! Granted Plants might be considered lame, while Illusions are even lamer... Bria and her friends evidently weren’t so popular themselves at first;

But regardless, it seems that it could just be a case of kids being hypocritically biased and insulting someone’s choice of magic if it isn’t the same as their own, especially since Potions could easily be seen as weaker than Plants! But maybe it’s just a matter of class, with Potions evidently being an industry that rakes in a lot of snails, so who knows?

Boscha probably doesn’t have a place to speak, and amongst narrow-minded kids, some assumptions might take place, but once you’re an adult... You cool down and can see the importance of these things. And as a seasoned and successful entrepreneur, Odalia is someone always looking for an opportunity to use someone or something;

As an adult with actual real-world experience, Odalia is able to recognize the value of illusions... And, as a gaslighter and manipulator herself, who uses Oracle magic to literally get into people’s heads, and she’d definitely appreciate the mind games and trickery of illusions.

If anything, Odalia might see physical magic as more demeaning and to be offloaded to the lesser workers, to people whose hands are meant to be dirty (with Alador as an exception), while a prim and proper, higher-class person such as herself needn’t bother with labor-associated magic! If there is some bias towards some forms of magic as lofty and for prissy blue bloods, Odalia might just be an example of that.

Plus, illusions could help her business! Amity is clearly set up as the next Alador, as the mindless worker who puts together and innovates with Abominations... With the twins welcoming people into the expo, while Amity physically participates, and it’s likely that Emira and Edric are set up to be the social factor of the business!

They’re meant to be like Odalia, as the managers who organize people, who broker deals and appeal to customers! And illusions would be perfect for presentations, Illusionists have a knack for showmanship as Gus said.

Illusions could be used to cover up the flaws of Blight Industries’ products while embellishing them. It’s implied that Alador’s creations aren’t always as good as they claim to be... Possibly as a result of cutting costs, because this guy CAN make some effective products, but unless Odalia wants him to compensate with an Abomaton 2.0 after the first failed, she otherwise prefers quantity over quality.

So yeah, a deal broker and social butterfly who attends these kinds of gatherings, makes business alliances and appeals to people- Odalia would definitely approve of illusions, even beyond her own treatment of her kids! For all we know she insisted upon it from the get-go, and luckily for Emira and Edric, illusions worked out for them as their personal calling.

Who knows, maybe Odalia wanted to be in another magic track, only for her actual talents to speak for themselves- She proved best at Oracle magic and was placed in it anyway, despite her attempts for other tracks she wasn’t as naturally talented in. It could be a similar case for the twins, who already like to rebel- And Bump could’ve made a case for them to be in Illusions too! Though we know Odalia can threaten Bump to get her way...

But in the end it doesn’t matter, because I think it’s fully in Odalia’s character to appreciate a more subtle approach, especially if she likes to manipulate and use underhanded tactics to compensate for a lack of ‘genuine’ power. If she has the same biases against non-physical magic, she could be just like Lilith, accepting her need to use lowly means to keep up with more honest witches anyway.

And given how Belos’s system makes people compete, it’s possible that EVERY coven thinks the others are weaker in some capacity- Every coven thinks one of the other eight is weak and ‘worthless’, because of bias and arrogance. A bard might dismiss a construction worker as a menial labor brute, while a beast keeper might mock a potion-maker for relying on bottles and elixirs, instead of controlling powerful demons!

This type of elitism ingrained into society, resulting in bullies and competition, possibly some people trying to make peace with covens they didn’t truly want to join through and inflated sense of superiority... These seem in-character for the coven system, and how bullies like Boscha exist, while people like Kikimora and even Lilith feel the need to betray, backstab, and cheat to win.

It’s all a toxic system... And at the very least, to get back to the original point- I think it makes sense for Odalia to approve of illusions, or at least tolerate them enough to live with it, especially when you already have rebellious twins who are willing to stand up to their parents and can’t be threatened to stand down the way Amity initially was.

Emira and Edric might’ve chosen it for themselves, and it was something Odalia knew they’d insist upon to Bump, no matter how hard she tried- So it was out of her control, and Alador might’ve convinced Odalia to let them be. He recognizes the value of letting his kids be independent, because it adds to their strength and ‘usefulness’.

As a long-term thinker not blinded in the moment by personal pride and need for control like Odalia, Al very well could’ve explained to her how illusions can work; Again, what I said about presentations and advertisement. Alador could’ve spoken to Odalia and gotten her to calm down, reasoning why illusions could be better in the long run, because they need another Odalia to run the company after her.

As for who will work Abominations, it only takes one witch as Alador himself as proven, and they’ve got another daughter who is much more under their thumb and easy to control. Let Amity take that burden, they can make her do whatever they want, unlike the twins... And again, that pressure to make up for the roles the twins had forsaken, and live up to her father’s genius, would just add to Amity’s need to be perfect.

Granted, Alador and Odalia expected Amity to join the Emperor’s Coven until only recently, which doesn’t seem like a position she could reconcile while working with Blight Industries. But maybe Alador intended to keep working, and use Amity as a means to secure an alliance with the Emperor’s Coven that has Blight Industries set, no longer needing to innovate, just replicate his work... In which case, be careful what you wish for!

Plus, if it’s Alador who suggested the use of the twins in illusions, maybe it was always more his idea to have his kids split between different roles to continue the company on their own, while Odalia had looked to the more ambitious option of a deal with the Emperor’s Coven, military-industrial complex style, to secure their futures.

[jiminrings]

OKAY LISTEN idk if someone or you already planned sth like this but how about y/n finally decides to confess/tell jk but someone else claims to be her before she could do it so * cue to the angst bc y/n sees the whole thing/she hears from her friends * and ofc koo eventually finds out bc that b*tch doesn't even have the fucking lunchboxes 😑

cold senior!y/n x stem major!koo masterlist :D

stem koo's the three-peat king for having the best research papers, but he's the worst when it comes to believing the right person

"i think i'm gonna tell him."

you say it to no one in particular, really, but you hear yoongi rISING from his nap on the couch

it wasn't meant to wake him at all

it was just an epiphany of sorts that popped into your head

physically felt as if your head would just bursT if you didn't say it out loud to affirm your own thoughts lmao

"for real???" he's rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, very evident that he wouldn't wake up to finish his thirteen pending assignments but he 10/10 would wake up to hear your epiphany

yoongi is awake for the action!!!! lmao does professor roux from calculus think that he wakes up at the morning and doing shapes (or whatever they teach at calc) is the fIRST thing in his mind????

"interesting," he nods solemnly when you nod your head, reaching out for a fist bump before he plops to your shoulder, "i suggest dressing like a virgin wearing H&M when you confess. it would hit close to home."

yoongi's the touchy affectionate one between the two of you but you'll forgive him bc he's still sleepy

NOOOOOOO

jungkook doesn't look like a virgin wearing H&M :((((

his clothes aren't from there lol

"pass."

"say that you're a top verified contributor both in quora and brainly."

PLEAAAAAASE SJWHSHWHHWV

"nice idea," you snort as yoongs genuinely thinks that it'd get jungkook to propose on the spot, "but no cigar."

"pretend to love big bang theory."

"you're getting onto something here."

"your hobby is fact-checking rick and morty."

"yoongi wow you are on fIRE today-"

"your guilty pleasure is not wearing protective gear during experiments."

"where is this coming from??"

"OH!!!! i'll pretend to mug him or something and you can attack me!!!"

....

??????

yeah yoongi's train of thought just crashed

you were pretty sure he was going on a science theme there wHY DID IT DERAIL

yoongi looks confused because you look confused, as if he didn't just give you the mindblowing idea,, free of charge

lol but no he really didn't

"i'm not doing any of that shit, yoongs."

"oh yeah???" he squints at you and hollows his cheeks, taunting you entertainingly while he worms his way to your lap to nap again

"what are you planning to do?"

holy sHIT this is nerve-wracking

she feels like she's gonna pass out the whole time that she's been rehearsing this in her head

she's been waiting outside the classroom for twenty minutes now and the bell finally rang and she can't believe it!!!! omg is it game-time now

everyone's filing out of the room and she could just feel that jungkook would come out of the room last-

ALRIGHT FUCK THE BELL RANG

you could do this!!!!

everyone's filing out of the room and you know in your heart that jungkook would stay behind, his routine being to politely chat with the professor before he leaves

you're a lil nervous alright

you're scanning the room and there's only a few people left and your eyes instinctively go to the mini desk next to the door and-

FUCK

DID YOU FORGET TO BRING IT HOME YESTERDAY??????

goddamn it

yesterday was when coach jeong was mad because someone from your team just hAD to bring beer!!! and not even have the common sense to put it on a discreet thermos or sth and you know!!!! to not drink it in public or in front of the coach!!!!

doing laps on the oval field will now make you hurl on command just by thinking about it

you physically did not have the cognizance to go and fetch the lunchbox to wash it,,,, or like even move at all

FUCK IT

how are you gonna swipe the lunchbox now? now when the professor's packing up, jungkook's loitering around the classroom, and there's this girl who's-

wait

who's this girl??

who is she and wHY IS SHE EYEING THE LUNCHBOX

fuck it!!! here goes nothing

she's stepping completely into the room and making sure her block heels generate enough clacking,, hands already moving in practiced moments as she attempts in making it seem like she's rushedly putting the lunchbox bag into her tote — as if it's from there, and she's always done this

jungkook hears noises coming from the back of the room, eyes widening before he comes up the stairs in record time

"no. get your own."

he grips the girl's wrist, about to pry off her hands from his lunchbox

he hears her giggle sweetly, the melody being something he's heard before

"i did. after all, i did get you these."

:O

"hyeji?"

hyeji's a pretty girl!!! a nice girl in jungkook's year that wears fit dresses and cartier bangles :D

she stands out really, sometimes literally because she appears in the school's flyers and advertisements

"hyeji," jungkook breathlessly connects the dots including the fact that she looks caught in the act; holding his lunchbox, her tote bag open, and a peek of another completely different lunchbox in her other hand, "i-it's been you this whole time?"

hyeji blushes, sheepishly tucking her perfectly shiny and neat hair behind her ears, "you caught me then."

kook laughs both in nervousness and giddiness, pushing his glasses up and suddenly conscious that he should've worn contacts, "b-but how? we don't share this class."

:O

hyeji bursts into a giggle, blushed cheeks staining further than the five minutes she tried getting the perfect amount

"r-right! kinda amazing what depths you'd go for a person you like, hm?"

jungkook is about to pass out

HE'S PUT IN A SITUATION

a situation that he likes and is too giddy to find a reply for

he apparently doesn't need a reply, because a chair scrapes harshly against the floor and it brings him down to reality immediately

you cannot fucking believe what you just witnessed

you stand abruptly from the seat you've been frozen in with a great deal of urgency because you cAN'T stand to be in this room any longer

they actually forgot that the two of them aren't alone

that you're still here

little miss hyeji's just as shocked

you feel stupid and even more stupid that you're still holding a stupid notebook you even decorated

it has a doodle in the front and all the remaining pages are of the copies you've replicated on jungkook's sticky notes — the same ones you've been trying to make perfect just for him

"y/n!" he sputters when your backpack accidentally leans too much to your side and hits him on the way out

"move."

you’re feeling everything but fine and god you just hated that you always willed yourself to move oN

you’re beyond mad when you put on your jersey!!!

you’re irrevocably dejected when you put on your cleats!!!!

you feel cheated on when you zip up your duffel and walk all the way to the field!!!

it’s a combination of the type of frustration that makes you want to move plus the type that paralyzes you, the whole thing unlike anything you’ve ever felt before

you’re clearly in your head and frankly, you’re just too good

too good that there's no game at all because the only thing happening is you scoring

there's no passing going on or the sort

everyone is just :O looking at their captain to be in the most furiously determined state that they’ve ever seen you in

you don’t even realize that you’re the oNLY one moving in the whole field

“alright, alright — jesus christ! go to the bench and sort your head out, captain,” coach jeong literally has to JOG over to your spot to jolt you

oh there he is again

jaehyun just had to bench you didn’t he

sometimes it’s lost on you that jaehyun, just like seokjin, used to be your senior

he hated juniors with a burning passion and you’re the ONLY one he’s taken a tolerance for

((you lent him your umbrella and it coincidentially had to be a bad day for him tHEN that made him like you))

you’re having none of it though because this time, you’re the one who has the bad day and the captain title does nothing to appease you

“sure, coach.”

you mumble just as lively and walk to completely the fURTHEST side of the bleachers, being so far out that you could barely see your team

what are you supposed to do? simmer in the thoughts you so badly didn’t want to have in silence??????

"y/n?"

the voice you least expected to hear perks up right next to you

what the hell is jungkook doing here now??

he looks lost, two hands clinging onto his backpack straps before tentatively looking at you again

“did i do anything to upset you?”

so he wants to ask that?

you snort automatically, suddenly wishing that you didn’t walk this far because you can’t make an excuse that jaehyun’s calling for you

"because my bag accidentally hit you on the way out? no, jungkook."

jungkook knits his brows in question, seemingly take offense to what you’ve just said to hom

"we're not exactly associated for me to be mad at you, are we?" you emphasize even further, not caring the least bit that your words have an edge to them

he deadpans, pursing his lips before sarcastically smiling at you

".... so you're upset at me?"

://

jungkook takes your silence for him to delve further, not paying attention to how your eye is begging to twitch at him

"i asked if i did anything to upset you, and you said no. but that doesn't necessarily mean you aren't. you could be upset at me even if i didn't do anything to you."

wow

you sound like a real fucking nerd jungkook

"do you have any idea how condescending you sound right now?"

kook barely has a solid inch on you yet the nagging feeling that he’s belittling you makes you grip your fists tight, posture wavering

"so you do admit that you're upset at me?"

he’s not the most patient person either but something about you and the situation right now just makes him tick a little faster

your eyes narrow at what he’s aiming to get at, your hand on your hip feeling heavy at this point

"what does it matter to you if i'm upset or not? we are not-"

"i am associated to you!!! even to a degree!!! you walked me home!"

jungkook is the one who breaks first and he doesn’t look fazed to have opposed you so loudly, still standing by himself

"i would walk anyone home."

"no you wouldn't-"

"i would walk anyone who was as vulnerable and as anxious as you were, jungkook!!"

it is true

you’d walk anyone home within reason regardless if they were jungkook or not!!!

the guy in question only looks at you straightly, brows not stubborn but still just as unrelaxed

:((

"good to know. then you're not upset at me, and i didn't do anything to upset you."

"sure."

you only say just to spite him, about to turn your back and leave him completely to go back to your practice game

jungkook surprises you again and flips a switch just as quick as your mini argument of sorts escalated

"anyways!! i'm sorry for being a little off when i interviewed you that day. i got a 100 on that assignment, by the way :))"

what?

what’s he still doing here?

he’s talking about his grades and whatnot to you as if literally twenty seconds ago did nOT happen!!

"why are you still-"

"and the one who's been giving me my lunchboxes confessed to me today!! for hyeji to be the girl giving me them, it makes perfect sense."

you shrug away the weirdness that jungkook’s moved on from the argument as fast as this, trying a take two for a peaceful conversation

this time, you’re the one who unknowingly flips a switch at her name — something so foreign and sudden yet something you quickly grew to hate

"i wouldn't be so trusting if i were you."

that seems to hit a nerve on him again, making him scoff in reply

"good thing you aren't me then."

what is ON with him????

"watch it. i'm your senior, kid."

you’re more irritated than the first and second time around that you’ve been agitated this day

"why? are you normally this self-absorbed that you wouldn't trust a girl who's confessed??"

self-absorbed?

you aren’t the most selfless person ever but god do you know for a fact that you’re not vain as jungkook’s insisting you to be

you hate him.

you hate this version of him that isn’t the same jungkook you’ve known to like ever since the start of the semester

"same thing as polygraphs not being a hundred percent reliable. anyone could tell the truth as long as you ask the wrong questions," you detail on further because jungkook loves details, right? might as well give him several

"or did you even ask?"

jungkook scowls as if you’ve insulted his mother and his entire lineage, face contorting into everything but warm

"what does it matter to you? didn't you just tell me that we aren't associated? why are you projecting all your moaning on hyeji?"

WHAT

WHAT????

"you know what? maybe i am associated to you. i think i'd also tell this to everyone i'd walk home — maybe you shouldn't be too trusting, huh? maybe you shouldn't just let anyone walk you home."

the tears this time are more insistent to come out this time but you’d rather dIE than for jungkook to stain your pride like this

"no one should walk me home, besides you? is that what you're trying to say?"

no!!

for fuck's sake you aren't even finished with your point!!

before you could continue, jungkook shakes his head at you — the most disappointing shake of his head that it curses you soft

"what am i even doing? you wouldn't understand."

he closes the distance that’s been alarmingly shorter throughout the whole time, jungkook being the one to break it

"because no one gives you lunchboxes. no one exerts effort in making you cheerful — no one wants to go the extra mile for you, and no one wants to walk you home."

he's insulting you right to your face and that’s when your dam breaks, lips quivering impossibly as you stare him down with a genuinely pained gaze you didn’t know you carried

"you wouldn't know what i feel, because no one likes you."

jungkook gets the last word in.

he leaves you in the same field he's first approached you in nervousness.

today, he leaves it differently.

sweat isn't the only thing on your face but instead it’s the frustrating hot tears you haven’t had in awhile

your fists are balled but there's no power to the anger behind it

you’re almost always alone outside the company of the closest friends you’ve ever had — but this is the only time that you truly felt that you are alone.

today's a good day to give up on jungkook.