#i wish i could move out
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why the fuck can’t my family have one good day? Why do they always have to fight and get mad at me for everything. I’m so done.
#sorry for the vent#haha ANOTHER ivy shit post#Why are they like this#i wish I could move out#I love them but it’s hard to live with them#I feel bad being upset with them#Idk#im done man
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mom is genuinely shocked (and very angry!) that i thought an item that was on the floor, amongst trash, was trash
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#the thing was almost empty and on the ground#i ‘always do this’…#(i threw one other thing away a year and a half ago)#that was also barely filled with anything#(the ‘other’ time she woke me up and screamed at me until i cried (over coffee creamer btw!) until she realized she was mistaken)#but i guess all she remembers is that i did something wrong#🙄#wtf ever#she’ll get over it#stop leaving food on the dirty floor#i wish i could move out#vent ig
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i. am so fucking dysphoric. im so tired of being closeted at home
#and i know they won't be okay with it if i did come out#i wish i could move out#i wanna start hrt#i wanna be a girl everywhere and not just on the internet#god i wish someone could come pull me out of here#i fucking need a hug
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#l o l decided to go w my parents tuesday bc theyre going to see sibling#and apparently my dad approached mum and said he didnt want me to go w them bc they live w me and want one on one time w sibling#and then forced mum to tell me#so now i get to manage my own hurts and my parents fucking great#triggered my goldenchild/scapegoat trauma so now i get to fight through that and the hurt of 'we dont want you around' and the hurt of my#parents never spending deliberate time with me like they do and always have with my sister(which is the golden child thing i guess)#and also them neglecting my disabilities with the 'you can visit sibling another day just the two of you' shit#at least i told mum she's going to annoy me if she keeps apologising#shes not apologising bc she means it shes apologising bc she feels guilty and wants me to keep reassuring her#christ i'm tired#i wish i could move out#christ i wish i could afford to move to another state#ngl really didnt need this atm already dealing with RSD from a friend living in survival mode not being able to hang out and being more#isolated than usual#and my dads queerphobia getting worse and worse#if i didnt think sibling would also off themself if i did id be so fucking done
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can my aunt stop playing soul music for her 60yo boyfriend im hungry as fuck and i want to reheat my sweet and sour chicken . it's 2 am . Jesus . just go to his house and do this shit lol cause im about to walk downstairs and ruin your night. plus i need to get my laundry it's languishing in the washer n drier. understand im REALLY not tryna interrupt their vibe but it's TWO AM and i want to sleep at some point
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*cartman voice* fek yew geys, eh’m gewin hewm
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its baffling seeing people on here being all shocked about how other ppl didnt have sex or do drugs or drink or go to parties etc etc in high schools like. sorry i was too busy getting bullied to do all of that stuff i guess. why are you surprised that there’s losers on the cringe loser website
#like yeah i WISHED i could do that sort of stuff#but i felt so completely isolated from everyone else at my school bc ppl were so nasty to me#its fine cos im doing all the stuff i missed out on now that im in university#but some ppl dont even get that chance#maybe its not that serious but. idk. just dont be a dick#but also ppl who didnt do that stuff acting like theyre better than ppl who did is fucking annoying and also a dick move. btw#📼
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double black
#lotus try to go one day without thinking abt skk challenge (IMPOSSIBLE)#also poses in the first img are referenced from thegrayninja on deviantart!!#nobody in this fandom draws chuuya just constantly floating around as opposed to walking and i think thats a crime#if you think a 15yo boy w gravity powers wouldn't absolutey abuse the shit out of that ability and just refuse to walk#then you're wrong. and you know it.#ik for a fact my lazy ass would take advantage of the fact that i could just move freely in the air and not have to waste energy walking#wish dazai didn't have nullification bc then chuuya could pick him up and they could recreate the hmc scene (chuuya would drop him /hj)#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#chuuya nakahara#nakahara chuuya#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#soukoku#skk#lotus draws
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Normal boy spotted.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#wen wing#wen remnants#Wen ning#This scene felt like a bit of a fever dream. We have (with little to no comedic exaggeration):#1) WWX whistling and somehow summoning not one but several horses to his side.#2) meeting the surviving Wen sect members who insist on not leaving Wen Ning behind.#Only for it to cut back to Wen Ning ripping a guy in half. (Not pictured here. I tried so hard but I could not make it look good).#Personally I feel like we moved on way too fast from the horse thing. Where did they come from? WWX couldn't have brought them.#He *just* found out there were more people left behind.#So...are the from the Jing sect? Are these disloyal horses? Or does WWX have incredible animal charisma skills?#It feels a bit like a DND player asked to call in some horses and the DM said 'Sure if you roll well enough' and it was a natural 20.#Maybe this is just my own envy cutting through. God damn I wish I could whistle and summon a horse to my side whenever I needed to.#I know I should not be so hung up on the horses. But my brain is cooked. I have been so sick.#The kind of sickness that makes it hard to breathe. Or think. Or have any energy at all.#I wish I had good commentary to write here. I just...really want a nap. And for October to restart to make up for all the lost time.#Thank you all for being so kind and patient once again. It truly means a lot.
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too eepy after work to have a life, stardust? smh
#in fast and food#loop isat#siffrin isat#in stars and time#isat#kitscribbles#oddly my comfort au and vent au wrapped into one#dear whoever said that there isnt much i can do with this au. yeah youre not wrong#lmao what's Sif gonna do#wish to keep his friends in the capitalistic pit of death of never moving out of town to chase their dreams because they cant afford to?#smh you dont need timeloops for that#therefore no loop u_u or at least not conventionally#could someone help me find that art someone made of Sif having a doll loop and i think that doll coming to life#if i ever go that direction id like to credit them#that there is my inspiration#art#fanart#tfw you cant think of a personality for your stuffie so you just overlay a personality over your own and give them that#have you ever tried to cut sharp points into felt. let me tell you it does not like to remain sharp
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i finished it, was kicked out of the game, and then spent the next 10 minutes drawing this. i will now go take a shower, most likely cry, and then go through the emotional turmoil of convincing myself to reset so i can do a geno run. i hate it here :D
#undertale yellow#uty#my art#<- ifg#spoilers under these tags beware. although it is mostly just me being very very sad#that entire thing was heart wrenching. anyways#CEROBAS FIGHT??? HELLO???#i had to exit out of it the first time (i got to the last phase) to get better items but i came back and won pretty quickly#but THE CUTSCENES?!?!?#JFC NO WONDER THIS WOMANS SO MESSED UP. HER HUSBAND PRACTICALLY DIED IN HER ARMS AND THE LAST THING HE LEFT HER WITH- HIS DYING WISH- COULD#ONLY BE FULFILLED BY PUTTING THEIR ONLY CHILD IN DEATHS WAY. AND THEN WHEN SHE TOOK THAT RISK THE WORST THING HAPPENED AND SHE NOW HAS TO#LIVE WITH THE GUILT OF BEING THE ONE TO. MOST LIKELY. KILL HER ONE AND ONLY DAUGHTER#ALL THE WHILE SHE WAS PUSHING AWAY HER CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND AND CONVINCING HERSELF THAT SHE WAS IN THE RIGHT TO SACRIFICE CLOVER WHO HAD#BEEN ONLY KIND MERCIFUL AND JUST THIS WHOLE TIME. EVEN TO THOSE WHO WERE TRYING TO KILL THEM. FUCK.#AAND WHEN CLOVER HUGGED HER I DOUBLED OVER IRL BC *THATS EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED TO DO IN THAT MOMENT* I HATE IT (read: love it) HERE#n dont even get me STARTED on after that. when clover started moving on their own and the gd white screen came up and we got flashbacks of#everyone's words. thats when the tears rlly started coming bc it clicked for me. 'oh. this is it. isn't it?' and IT WAS#WHEN THEY GAVE THEIR FUCKIGN HAT AND GUN AWAY TO MARTLET AND STARLO WELL THATS WHEN I REALLY STARTED CRYING#AAND THE GROUP HUGG#I WAS SOBBING WHENEVER I HAD TO WATCH THEM CRAWL UP AGAINST THE WALL AND DIE AND HAVE FLOWEYS WORDS PLAY OVERHEAD#AND THE FUCKOGN#THE F U C K I N G#AFTEWRCREDITS SCENE WHERE WE GOT THE 'You heard someone calling for help. You answered.' I GOT CHILLS SO BAD#to think that all the other souls have stories just as expansive and emotional as clover n frisks. how fucked up is that. in a good way tho#and finally the last scene where we got all 4 of our main friends sending us off in waterfall and we see clovers items end up in the dump#just waiting to be found by bratty and catty. fucken hell man this was a masterpiece#anyways time to reset and obliterate everyone and never emotionally recover from that ever!! really is feeling like 2016-17 again w the way#this game has me sobbing my eyes out and feeling the guilt of knowing that i dont HAVE to kill them all but im too curious not to#oh well. at least i have the balls to do it this time around instead of letting a youtuber do it for me ig
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Feel like Neil couldn’t have been any other kind of actor than one in theatre. If he was a movie actor or on social media or whatnot, it would not be the same. Theatre by nature is fleeting. Recorded mediums can be rewatched over and over, creating a time loop of sorts. We the audience can keep going back to a time when Neil is still alive. Theatre however is live and once the play is over, there is no going back except in our memories. It is much like life. We are forced to live in the moment in a theater lest we miss it altogether. It’s not that the poets choose to live in a world where Neil is dead, it’s that they must because the only other option is to die themselves. I feel like Keatings teachings could only be reflected in stage theatre because that’s the only way there can be no time loop of grief. I think dead poets society itself isn’t about overcoming the authority in your life to do what you want but rather about grief, about allowing oneself to feel grief and all one’s emotions without letting it consume you and to keep living after, to live every day in the moment lest you fall into grief and regret that will destroy you or force you into a miserable life
#just silly ramblings don’t mind me just ignore me 🫣#keating was teaching the boys catharsis as a means of survival and how to process their emotions so they don’t overcome them in a world#that convinces them to pretend they don’t feel at all; that’s why he focuses on the romantics rather than the realists because the romantic#is there to help you process your emotions of sorrow and joy; and that’s why he told Charlie he was misunderstanding the teachings when he#was acting out but not Neil when Neil was trying to get out of the grief over the person he wishes he could be; keating taught him that his#father was standing over an empty grave grieving the son he wanted and that Neil doesn’t have to lie in that grave just to satisfy his#fathers grief but can go to his father as he is and ask him to accept this version of himself and the son he is and his father rejected and#that is why Neil thought the only way to truly overcome his father was by allowing his father to grieve him over grieving the son he wanted#and Mr. Keating was crying over Neil but we don’t see him rage out like the school; Mr. Keating grieved Neil and moved forward with life#whereas all the other administration and Neil’s father will not be able to because they refuse to recognize any emotion but rage so they#feel they must go on a wrathful journey to try to process their grief; idk I think the whole story was about teaching the boys not to be#afraid of their emotions and that they must feel their emotions to process them and get through and I think this message just happens to be#counter to the norm we were told our whole lives but also necessary to be full people and I think that is why this movie sticks with so#many and why so many hold it so dear to them; it’s a story about grief and emotions and moving forward with life after the fact#it’s about feeling in a world that tries to convince you that there are ‘bad’ emotions and that you must not feel certain things and that’s#where overcoming authority comes in and the anti authority message of the franchise stems from#neil perry#dead poets society#dps#dead poets fandom#dps fandom#mr keating#john keating#dps symposium
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Someone I love dearly, who has been there for me for decades and whose children I could not love more if they were my own, is having car troubles again. She was really hoping this most recent car would last her awhile without having to ask for help again, I know she hates when she can't handle things herself without help, but apparently the gasket is messed up and I don't know anything about cars but it sounds like it's not worth fixing this one. She's asking for help affording something that will HOPEFULLY be a little more reliable, as she has two incredibly sweet young children who have been very intensely bullied (with no help from the driver/school) when they ride the school bus.
This is also the only reliable transportation to get to the grocery store, doctor's office, and pharmacy.
They live in a small town in South Dakota and I can attest from personal experience that even getting an uber/lyft there is unreliable (if you can afford that, which they can't). If you'd be willing to help these kids and their mom out with even $5, I can't tell you how grateful I would be, and I know their mom would be too!
The people in her life who'd be willing to help are all poor ourselves, and she doesn't use social media so Tumblr is kind of her main hope here.
She works for very little money cleaning houses in nearby towns, so her work is also in jeopardy the longer she goes without a car.
#e#im still so angry at the kids' school there were students loudly chanting at those sweet kids to kill themselves and nobody helped#i fucking hate the nasty culture in south dakota i really wish they didn't have to live there#like if you're in a blue state rn imagine what it's like in rural south dakota rn it's so brutal. i wish she could get out like i did.#she would've left long ago but she got babytrapped by her ex who doesn't even like hanging out with the kids but refuses to let her move#like genuinely he doesn't even hang out with them during his parenting time he makes his barely-older daughter take care of them#i better stop before this becomes an even longer list of things i hate about what they have to endure.#but this is the sweetest family and they have to endure a lot and here's something you could alleviate if you want
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I wonder what version of cherik I will think about tonight 🤔
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such a tough decision…
#had to move onto my ipad just so i could surpass the ten picture limit on tumblr mobile 🫡#sighh cherik…#guhh i love them and their many versions#there’s still more i could include 😭#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#xmen#professor x#magneto#xmcu#xmen 97#xmen tas#xmen comics#wish does not shut up#praying tumblr doesn’t freak out and ruin this post or something 😿🙏
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Todays the day. I need to get a job, even if that jobs not in the gaming industry. So I’m heading to the library to print up a resume and apply at a little local chain of mattress stores.
The guy instantly liked me when I went in to do a secret shop for a competing store and offered to hire me on the spot so I figure if I can chat with him he’ll still like me enough to consider me.
#ramblies#I’m dreading this so much I had dreams about getting hired by dropout tv instead#also my beloved was very sweet and when I said this was hard reassured me that I can do hard things#I wish I could wait for an industry job but it’s just not feasible#because we desperately need to move my beloved out of our current carpeted home#and moving costs are no joke#I’ll also need to get myself a laptop so I can keep honing rigging skills at the mattress job which I’m dreading#I have little to know idea how much I’ll need to invest to get a machine that can run Maya like a champ#which I’ll also need to buy an indie Maya license#god life is stressful and expensive#I long to be a little renaissance artist kept in a garret making what I please on the funds of patrons#alas
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gosh it's been a while but i just wanted to stop by and write a quick update. i know i posted here before that i was struggling with my mental health and i just wanted to say that i've been enjoying my break and time away from social media!
i got medicated and have been adjusting to that, so far it's been going good. last night was my last shift at my job and this weekend i am moving in with my bestie in another state, so pls send me good vibes! i'm stressed but excited! and eager for things to calm down.
i miss doing art, my energy for that is still largely absent. gonna be job hunting but maybe i will find some time to doodle. i would like to restock some prints to help me with this move but that will have to be after! thanks for sticking around and hope to be back soon 🤍
#i really wished i could have found a job before moving but things just didnt work out with the one i had lined up#and everything else has been falling through#sigh!!!!#pls wish me luck
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