#i really wished i could have found a job before moving but things just didnt work out with the one i had lined up

[p5-apotelesma]

ITS THINKING ABOUT GOROS CHILDHOOD HOURS. i am unwell once more

you know what it kills me to think about? that things could have went to shit despite how things were looking up

its tragic but its so fucking real and its gut wrenching.

for years theyd been struggling to get by and. finally. fumiko has a stable job (on the outside) and for the first time theyre able to have a slightly bigger apartment. not by much, really. (and kogoro would still sleep with his mom in her bed a lot of the time cause its just what hes used to, having lived in a 1 bedroom apartment until then) they still dont have an easy life by any means but they were on an upswing.

they were at, what seemed like. the most stable point in their time as a family. on the outside. his mothers new boyfriend doesnt come over to make her cry and scare them both to death. she even let kogoro accept some toys from him when she never used to allow that. so that means she trusts him, right? that he isnt so terrible like all the others were.

her doing sex work for him while being his secretary is what gets them the better apartment. and what gets kogoro some featherman merch. hes her boss but of course kogoro doesnt understand that his mother isnt on equal footing here. and that things arent seriously that much better. that shes just found herself stuck in the spiderweb of another wealthy man.

and kogoro allowed himself to feel hope. just a little. because from where he was standing things had changed so much. they were maybe even almost Normal.

and then she fucking left him

i'd imagine her mental illness was so debilitating that it made working even harder for her, let alone taking care of her kid. but things were looking up. her lows were still terrible lows but. kogoro was there for her. when she let him be. the structure of set work hours helped their lives find more of a routine. and none of his mothers clients hadnt stepped into their apartment for some time. (kogoro thought she was finally free)

at times she'd been sad for a while. couldnt get out of bed. but when the time came to celebrate kogoro's 9th birthday, she rose in the morning to make him omurice and they danced in the kitchen to the radio. she took him to the park and the arcade and he was able to win a prize and she even bought a little cake they could have have after dinner. they spent the whole day together just like she promised she would this year. and she seemed better and goro was so so relieved and so happy. it was the best day ever.

(she was coming to peace with what she was going to do. kogoro made a wish on his candles for them to have more days like this. fumiko wished that her son would forgive her.)

the day after his birthday he was excited to have more of the leftover cake after dinner.... shed have to go back to work tonight but maybe she could watch one episode with him. or help him do some of his homework. (or at least pretend to help. and praise him when he was able to figure it out for her)

he came home from school to a quiet apartment. looked around and saw her shoes still by the door. the light was on in the bathroom. he thought she was. just taking a bath

he knocked and there wasnt an answer. he didnt really think anything of it. maybe she was busy. maybe it was one of those times where kogoro shouldnt bother her. so. he quietly did his homework.... she'd come out of the bath and say goodbye to him before she went to work. but she didnt come out

i dont even think the poor kid could comprehend what he was seeing. when he opened the door and saw her. just. the sheer horror of it stopped his brain from working. the water was so red and she was so pale and she wasnt moving--- in the moment he could understand that she was hurt. but not what had happened

how could he? and he didnt think to call 119 first. no, the first thing he thought was to run to his neighbors. even though his mother sometimes got angry when he would talk to strangers. one of his neighbors answered their door and kogoro explained what. he could understand of whats goin on. what he saw. he doesnt understand that shes dead

when he gets to the police station and a detective and an officer and a child psychologist are trying to talk to him. about what happened. he just. asks when he can see his mother.

he knows she was hurt and something really terrible and scary happened. but. he doesnt understand that he wont be seeing her again. it. takes a while. for that to happen.

she left him a note, you know. and he read it but in the moment he was too overwhelmed to understand. and then he fucking blocked that shit out for years. the memory of it comes back when hes with the gang dealing with Ren's Den of Distortion of all things

the memory hits him like a train and once again kogoro is brought back to the nights where all he could think was that his mother hated being alive more than she loved him.

"i'm sorry, kogoro. mama can't do this anymore. i love you. you are so strong."

the love being there wasnt enough but it was there. and thats the tragedy of it.

and the fact she took her own life after they celebrated kogoro's birthday? its one of the things that seemed to convince him that his existence was a curse. and his mother couldnt bear the burden of it anymore. why should he ever celebrate being born? (he takes his birthday week off in royal. and its because of Her. hes officially lived as many years on this earth without her as he lived with her. half his life.)

all that on top of everything else and its wonder kogoro has such. instability around his security in his relationships. because everything seemed like it could actually be okay. she seemed happy and he was happy and he dared to feel hope again. that she would get better. he would help her. and theyd both be safe from the monsters.

and then it all came crashing down. he lost everything in an instant.

[blairamok]

gosh it's been a while but i just wanted to stop by and write a quick update. i know i posted here before that i was struggling with my mental health and i just wanted to say that i've been enjoying my break and time away from social media!

i got medicated and have been adjusting to that, so far it's been going good. last night was my last shift at my job and this weekend i am moving in with my bestie in another state, so pls send me good vibes! i'm stressed but excited! and eager for things to calm down.

i miss doing art, my energy for that is still largely absent. gonna be job hunting but maybe i will find some time to doodle. i would like to restock some prints to help me with this move but that will have to be after! thanks for sticking around and hope to be back soon 🤍

[blueraineshadows]

*slams credit card on the table*💳💥 💳💥 i would sell my soul for a continuation of where seb and mc left off after he slipped that ring on her finger

😆 gotta love a cliffhanger! Here is the fic where Seb slipped a ring on her finger ---> HERE

Picking up where Seb has Apparated MC and himself away from the confrontation in Hogsmeade, and they are now in his Feldcroft cottage. NSFW 🌶🔥❤️

She didnt know how long they had sat, kissing, on the floor. She thought that maybe it could never be long enough. They had so much time to make up for. But then, Sebastian stood and held out his hand to her. MC took it and he helped her to her feet. He cupped her face, gently. "Are you alright?"

She nodded. The adrenaline of facing up to William like that had worn off, and tiredness pulled heavily at her, but she felt safe. "If someone had told me I would be standing here with you at the end of the evening, I would have thought them quite mad."

"Same," he said, smiling. His thumb brushed against her cheek, his smile fading. "Any regrets? I mean, what he said about your reputation, your job. Would he really make life that difficult for you?"

"He might," she sighed. She put her hand over his, her finger tips grazing gently over his knuckles. "But I could never regret leaving with you. I just wish I'd had the nerve to find you sooner."

"Well, we're together now," he said. "Let's not worry about William tonight. He can't get to us here. We can figure out our next move tomorrow, but whatever it is, I am going to be right there with you. And next time, I wont think twice about hexing his arrogant mug."

She nodded. At his mention of being here together, alone, her eyes drifted towards the curtain that closed off the sleeping area of the cottage. Her pulse skittered and she looked back at him.

"There are two beds," he said. He really had a talent for reading her like a book. "We don't have to share one if you'd rather not."

MC was reminded of the offer William had made to her only that morning, the very reverse of this one, trying to convince her to share a bed with him. The very thought had made her blood run cold.

Now, standing here with Sebastian, she realised that the thought of being parted from him, even if only across the room, was too much to bear right now. It had taken them years to finally be able to hold each other. How was she supposed to let go?

She cleared her throat. "Is there somewhere I can freshen up?"

"Of course," he said.

He warmed some water for the basin, and found a shirt for her to wear. When he went out to fetch some more fire wood, MC went behind the changing screen and began to loosen the ties for her dress. The corset was so tight, the back having been laced by William's house elf, a grim mouthed little thing she hadn't much cared for.

MC tugged and gave a frustrated groan at the blasted thing. She hated corsets and frivolous silks. She missed the freedom of cotton blouses and duelling trousers, much preferring sturdy boots to little kitten heels. She kicked off the offending heels and tugged the stockings from her legs.

The sound of the door announced Sebastian's return, and MC paused to peek around the changing screen. He put the logs in the basket before kneeling before the fire, feeding it to boost the flames. A swirl of chill night air had come into the cottage behind him and goosebumps spread up her arms.

She bit her lower lip, watching the way his shirt moved across his shoulders as he stoked the fire. Her intake of breath was a little shaky, and she pressed fingers to her collar bone, smoothing along the skin he had kissed, remembering hia searing kisses. She shivered.

She ducked back behind the screen, turning to face the wall, hand pressed to her throat against her fluttering pulse. "Sebastian?" She called. "Would you mind? I could do with a hand."

She heard his footfalls as he approached, her heart in her mouth, but she didn't turn to look as he paused by the screen. She could hear his breathing, feel the burn of his gaze on her back. "Could you help loosen the laces of my corset, please? It's too tight for me to do it properly."

"Of course, seeing as you asked so nicely." She could hear the smirk in his voice.

He joined her behind the screen, and anticipation made her body burn, the seconds stretching between the pause of his step and the feel of his fingers on the laces.

Her own fingers toyed with the silk of the gown, the bodice of which was pooled at her waist. He tugged at the laces, a knuckle brushing against the skin of her back, and she felt the corset begin to loosen. She sighed a little in relief, her breasts relaxing after being squished behind their bonds.

Once the corset was undone, her hands fluttered in front of her breasts, nervous. Should she hold the corset in place and dismiss him? Or, should she let it fall away from her flesh? She felt the last lace pull free and the corset sagged. She realised she was breathing a little faster, the sound soft in the confined space behind the screen.

Sebastian placed a warm palm between her shoulder blades, the touch gentle, and then his hand smoothed up to the nape of her neck. She sighed again, closing her eyes. She felt her breasts tighten at the touch, the peaks hardening against the loose corset.

Then, he was sliding the pins from her hair, slowly, one by one, his fingers easing her locks free to spill down her back. Another shiver washed over her at the feel of his hands in her hair. It was intimate, personal, and it filled her with a need so strong she could almost taste it.

His hands cupped her shoulders, smoothing down her arms to her hands where he linked their fingers. He lifted her arms just enough and the corset slid forward, exposing her. He was closer, she could feel the heat of his breath at her ear, it was as fast as her own soft gasps. She squeezed her fingers around his, hungry to feel those hands on her skin.

The heat of his mouth moved lower and he pressed a kiss to the side of her neck. She tilted her head to give him more access. His lips moved, his kisses becoming firmer at her willing invitation. The corset slid to the floor, forgotten, his hands releasing hers to skim her waist, sliding smoothly over her skin to settle below her breasts.

Her head fell back with a gasp, the movement lifting her breasts, begging for his caress. He was so gentle, a whisper of skin against skin as he cupped her, a thumb teasing softly over one hard nub. She moaned, the sound so close to his ear, it made him exhale sharply.

So intent was she on the feel of his hands caressing her breasts, she hadn't even realised that one of her own arms had reached up to thread fingers through his hair. His caress moved to her sides, finger tips smoothing over the reddened marks where the corset had pinched her. He bent to press a soft kiss there, just below her breast, his tongue swirling over the sensitive skin.

She turned, needing to see him, his face was soft, his eyes darkened by his desire. She felt a sudden shyness, her arms hovering in front of her breasts. He held her close and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. "We can stop," he whispered. "As much as I want you, I would never do anything you didn't want. You're safe with me."

She fiddled with the front of his shirt. "I want you too," she said. She felt a blush warm her cheeks. "It's just...I've never done anything like this before. I've never..."

She swallowed and looked down, but he caught her chin with gentle fingers, lifting her gaze to his. "Never? Not even with your fiancé?"

She shook her head. "He wanted to, but I couldn't. I didn't want to because...he wasn't you."

Sebastian's eyes widened in surprise, he even blushed a little. "I'm not sure I deserve such an honour."

Her gaze dropped to his mouth and she wondered how many girls he had kissed, how many times he had taken one to his bed. It hurt her heart to think of it, but how could she blame him? He had owed her nothing. But, how could she ever live up to the girls who had come before her? She wanted to please him, she wanted him to feel the pleasure that he gave her. The brief touches she had already tasted held so much promise, her body burning desperately for him. She wanted to return that.

"Can you show me how?" The words were a whisper. "I don't want to disappoint you."

He held her face. "Listen to me," he said, firmly. "You could never disappoint me. You must never think that. Look at you! You're beautiful, just one look at you sends me spiralling. It drove me crazy seeing you in the pub earlier, so close and yet so out of reach."

"When you touch me it's like I'm going to be swallowed in flame," she admitted. "I've never felt like that with anyone. Just you."

"I have to admit, I do like the way that sounds," he said. A gleam entered his gaze. He leant his forehead against hers, his eyes on her mouth, his breath hot. "Mine, and only mine."

Her pulse fluttered and she stared at his lips, her tongue sliding to wet her bottom lip. "Will you take it?" She breathed. "Take what is yours, please."

The passion in his kiss seared through her, his tongue sliding into her mouth, claiming her as she had asked. She clung to him, arching her body to feel the warmth and safety she craved from him. He tugged at the last fastenings of the dress, his patience now gone and he yanked hard, the rending of torn silk reaching her ears. The dress sank to the floor and he lifted her out of it, carrying her to the bed.

He placed her on top of the blanket, pausing to shed his own clothing before joining her. Her eyes were greedy, taking in the toned muscle, the soft trail of hair that led down below his navel. And, of course, the hard shaft of his arousal.

She leant up on her elbows, a little breathless at the sight of him, even a bit intimidated by the size. She squeezed her thighs together at the thought of him inside her. But then he was kissing her, his mouth tasting her skin, moving down to take a breast into his mouth. She gasped, her hips lifting to aid him as he slid her underwear free. Now, they were both naked.

She pulled him against her, moaning at the feel of their skin finally pressed together. She moved against him, delighting in the friction.

"You feel so good," he gasped. His hand moved to her hip, rocking her against him, his arousal digging eagerly against her thigh.

She smoothed her palm over his behind, moulding it, loving the feel of it after admiring the way it curved through the fabric of his trousers. She moved her hand over his hip, hovering close to where he throbbed eagerly for her. He took her hand and guided her, wrapping it around his length. She looked down, fascinated, as he showed her how to stroke him. A sound left his throat and she smiled. She was making him feel good. It made her feel empowered. He wanted her and she could give him what he needed.

He returned the favour, his fingers seeking out her heat and she gasped, her thighs instinctively parting for him. He stroked with slow, deliberate caresses, her slick spreading to ease his teasing. She couldn't help the sounds that fell from her lips, her head fell back, and she was like a desperate, wanton thing. He swirled over her clit and she cried out, a pressure building as he stroked to a rhythm that had her panting and clutching at him.

She didn't think it could feel any better, but then he slid downwards and she stared, wide eyed as he moved his mouth close to where his fingers worked. Heat flooded her cheeks at the intimacy of this gesture and then he was kissing her there. His tongue replaced fingers and she thought she might actually die, the fire inside her flared so dangerously. She was soaring to a height that made her head spin, her pelvis rocked, the need to grind against him almost unbearable. "Sebastian," she panted. Her fingers gripped at his hair. "Oh...oh..."

She felt the dip of his fingers, probing gently, sliding slowly into her as his tongue drove her higher. He pumped his fingers, twisting and curling them, picking up the pace. She could hear the wet, desperate sound of herself, the pressure almost unbearable but Merlin's beard, she did not want it to stop. Her arm flung out, fingers gripping the blanket, tugging at the fabric as though she was about to slide off the edge of the world.

And then she felt a deep clenching sensation, fiery waves of delicious release washing over her, and her eyes squeezed shut, an animalistic sound bursting from her lips. She was breathing so hard and fast as her body became fluid, sinking back into the mattress, spent.

Sebastian withdrew his mouth and fingers, she whimpered, not just at the loss of him, but also at the little pulses of aftershock. He gathered her in his arms, pressing kisses to her breasts, her neck. His hand smoothing along her waist and down to spread her leg wider for him.

"You're amazing," he whispered. He kissed her mouth, his lips and tongue hot and wet. She could taste herself, and wondered briefly how he would taste if she took him in her mouth. She moaned, her hips flexing. She felt him reach down, the press of him against her slick folds.

"Relax," he urged. "Deep, even breaths. You're doing great, so fucking perfect."

He moved to kiss her ear, his tongue sliding along the outer edge. She could feel the fire reigniting, the coil of her need twisting into life. He pressed into her, his tip nudging gently, in and out, easing her. "That's it," he whispered into her ear. "Good girl. I'm going to fuck you, I'm going to make you mine. Is that what you want?"

She flushed hotly at his filthy words. Her breathing hitched madly in her throat, her body arching greedily. "Yes," she moaned.

He pressed in deeper and she felt the sting, the stretch. He stroked her, kissed her ear, easing back out and then in again. "Fuck, you feel so good," he groaned. "I need you."

She gripped his hips, lifting her own to meet him, her heels digging into the bed. With each gentle slide of him, in and out, the sting lessened. She moaned as the new, full feel of him began to send waves of tingles deep inside her. She glanced down, watching as he thrust.

His face was set in concentration, his brow creased, his lips parted with his pleasure. She could see the restraint he was clinging on to. The sting was gone, and he felt so good, so right.

"More," she urged.

He met her gaze. "Does it feel good?"

She nodded. He watched her, eyes lidded, and he thrust deep. She groaned and he slid right back, for a desperate moment she feared he would pull out all together, and she sank her finger nails into his hip, urging him to stay in. He smirked and thrust firmly, sinking all the way in. Her moan was his reward.

She couldn't tear her eyes from his as he kept up these deep, hard thrusts. She could feel that pressure building, making her soar higher again. This time, she knew what it meant, and anticipation tingled on her tongue.

He looked down at where they were joined. "Oh fuck," he panted. "Fuck, yes."

His words sent sparks of flame through her. Who knew she liked dirty talk? The rough edge to his voice was a massive turn on, she wanted more. She slid a palm down his chest, her finger tips trying out a teasing pinch of his nipple. He moaned, the sound giving her a thrill, so she pinched again, harder.

He shifted to lean on one elbow and then he began to thrust harder, faster, his other hand reaching down to grip under her knee. He bent her leg up, easing her open so she could take him even deeper. She felt the slide of him against somewhere deeply sensitive inside of her and she arched, his name spilling from her lips.

Her release gripped her, a sudden deep clench that made Sebastian utter a low growl, he buried his face into her neck, his teeth biting down into her skin. She whimpered, stunned at the raw emotions rushing through her, her body pulsing around him. And then he, thrust deep, holding himself there as he spurted his own release. She could feel the throb of it, her arms holding him close, his heart thundering against her chest.

For a while they lay quietly, holding each other, savouring the closeness. She nestled her face against his warmth, breathing in his scent, feeling a tension slide from her. This was absolutely where she belonged. She had known it back in the Three Broomsticks, and now it was confirmed.

She brought her hand up to look at his mother's ring on her finger, no, her ring. He had given it to her. He wanted her by his side forever. "When do you leave?" She asked.

"We leave in two days," he said. She looked up at his choice of words. He smiled. "How do you feel about Italy?"

"Isn't that where you just travelled from?"

He nodded. "It is, but I want to take you there. I want to see it all again through your eyes."

Her heart danced in her chest. This was actually happening! "I will need to fetch my things, and say a few goodbyes, Poppy will have wondered where I ran off to."

"We can do all of that," he smoothed her hair back from her face. His eyes grew serious. "I will never forget how you stood in front of me, blocking me like you did. When you reached back for me, holding yourself to me..."

He paused, swallowed hard. "I already knew I loved you, but what you did, it said more than any words. When he caught us, I thought you would have gone to him, but you didn't."

"I realised it was what I had always wanted," she said. "I had to stop letting William make my choices for me. It would always be you, Sebastian. Always."

....*....

When MC awoke, the bed beside her was empty. Immediately, she sat up. Wrapping a blanket around her, she moved out from behind the curtain and saw Sebastian with an owl, a letter in his hand. "What's that?" She asked.

He turned to her, pulling her closer to kiss her forehead. "Good morning," he said. He held up the letter. "From Ominis. I sent an owl after you fell asleep last night. This is his reply. He is meeting us in London when we collect your things."

"Really?" It would be nice to see him again, she realised. "What about William?"

"Oh, you don't have to worry about him," Ssbastian said, his smile smug. "Ominis thought him a right prick, and has already used his connections to make sure he won't be a problem. Your reputation is perfectly intact. As for William's..."

MC widened her eyes. "My goodness! But, why would Ominis do all that for me?"

Sebastian frowned. "Why would he not?" He took her face in his hands. "I love you, he knows that, and he also cares for you, he wants us to have what we have always wanted. Each other. Like me, he would do whatever he had to in order to keep you safe, happy. People care about you, MC, people love you. You will never have to suffer the likes of William again as company."

Her throat felt rather thick all of a sudden. "Thank you."

"Ominis is also going to bear witness for us," he said. He slid a thumb over her lips, pressing a kiss there. "After collecting your things, we will marry. We can leave for Italy as man and wife. If you still want to, that is?"

"Oh, yes, Sebastian," she said. She wrapped her arms about him, the blanket slipping free of her grasp, but she didn't care. She was no longer shy of him. She clung to him, his arms strong and warm as they held her close. "It is exactly what I want."

[syrupspinner]

i just completed Hypnospace Outlaw

i sincerely love how much the sci-fi genre is just explaining how much sci-fi stuff would suck if it was real

the reason you play hypnospace outlaw is the aesthetic and presentation, just so were all on the same page. the reason this game got your attention is because its a passionate parody of web 1.0, and it does an excellent job of that. i can tell this game was made with a deep nostalgia for what made the past special without being blinded from its flaws (like the viruses and general difficulty to navigate).

the only problem is that im 24

well i shouldnt say thats a problem. just because i dont have nostalgia for what theyre throwing back to doesnt mean the game doesnt stand on its own. i didnt grow up with a ps1 or n64 but i still enjoy that specific form of lowpoly modeling, for example. its just unfortunate that i cant have the same hit of nostalgia that people slightly older than me can, yknow? i wish i could enjoy this game as much as them

again, the game was still very enjoyable. the puzzles start out very grounded, introducing you the the world and how it functions very effectively, before ramping it up with more abstract mechanics and compounding techniques needed to find more results. the only problem i found myself stuck on in an unfun way was figuring out how to decrypt sandwich files. its one of those puzzles that make you feel silly for not getting it earlier, but in my defence... who the hell would program something that esoteric

as an aside, i saw people discussing what genre games like this would be. by "games like this" i mean hypnospace outlaw, outer wilds, rain world, animal well, that kinda thing. i dont think applying one genre is effective, but instead its about how they combine the genres of exploration and puzzle. instead of having all the tools to solve a puzzle when youre presented with it, you have to leave and seek out the solution elsewhere. notably, if the game isnt build to accommodate/encourage this, itd be pretty unfun. these games and their open-ended design manage to skillfully mesh both genres together: the exploration is the puzzle

so yeah, i really enjoyed the game! there arent a lot of games where its just fun to explore the world as its presented, and HO does a fantastic job of that even without considering the puzzle design. i love just reading about the characters and their lives in hypnospace. this games greatest strength is just how charming it is, theres really nothing that matches it in that regard

i also found it really inspiring. i love how much personality all the characters fit into their webpages. maybe someday ill move this blog to neocities just so i can evoke something half as impact

oh no this was all a secret advertisement for neocities wasnt it! well, it worked, im not even mad (yes i know about the page builder)

anyway! the game is worth it for the vibes alone, and the puzzles are a really solid foundation that everything is built on. totally worth buying! the only thing is if youre going for completion, please use a guide to find all the pages, some are hidden way too well. totally worth it, though. if you know what the "thanked" achievement is named after, you know it makes it worth it. also, buzz was hilarious, i love pranks on the player

now im going to spoil the ending, stop reading this is you want to not be spoiled about the ending, because im about to spoil it now. after sasuke

oh my GOD dylan merchant is such a schmuck. maybe ive just lost too much sympathy for venture capitalist techbros, but i cannot spare any positive regard for this guy. like, okay, i get hes the bad guy, but outlaw 1.0 tries sooo hard to make you feel bad for him it wraps back around to being infuriating. the thing is that i have no idea if this is intentional? like, was a guy who let a teenager go to jail and think about how his prank killed 5 innocent people plus his crush apologizing decades later (*after* being caught) with an unfinished video game supposed to be a sincere tug of the heartstrings? "sorry i killed zane before he could stop being an annoying twerp" "sorry i killed rodney, his family smelled like walmart" "sorry i killed mavis, i think that was her name. i got nothing else to say about her" "anyway thanks for playing the 'final' version of the game that killed everyone. you have successfully absolved me of my sins and sent me to heaven. remember to subscribe and hit that bell icon" DUDE how emotionally shallow and self aggrandizing do you have to be you are a child murderer my guy

[mayasdeluca]

Ik the pandemic kinda got in the way a bit but how do you think maya made up for the cheating? She promised carina to do whatever it takes to make things right. Unfortunately we didnt see much which is a shame but I understand as obviously covid and doctors/firefighters being on the frontline helping people was the main focus I think they could've shown something tho as as you've mentioned before carina was in the background acting like a house wife for the first like 5 eps of s4 so they could've done soemthing in that time or atleast hinted at it. I dont like that they made maya do that then it was barely even relevant and she had to shoulder the ENTIRE blame (despite her ot being in her tight mind and I will die on the hill that j*ck was also very responsible and it's unfair he just got away with ruining another rl with no consequences or apology) and maya never really had much of a chance to redeem herself unless you count her helping carina grieve andrew and missing her inspection, putting her job at risk, to help her

I wish we got to see that part of their relationship and it wasn't just skipped over because it was such a crucial part. I think a lot of us already thought Carina forgave Maya pretty quickly and then suddenly with Covid and everything they were moving in together and we didn't really see any of the trust being rebuilt but I would think it would've had to have been a lot of communication between the two of them and Maya just being a strong presence for Carina and not pushing too hard but also making sure she knew that she wanted to work on things so that they went back to how they were before she cheated. And while this is also something Maya struggled with throughout the seasons even after Season 3, I think not just leaving after they fight or have any sort of conflict was probably important for Carina too and you could tell Maya was getting better at that as time went on (unless it was something pretty major like in 7x04).

It always bothered me too that Jack basically was never held accountable for his part in what happened and we never got to see Carina confront him about it and it was played off as just a 'jealousy' thing that Maya mentioned to him in 4x02 which I found a little ridiculous because there wasn't a single thing to be jealous of. And Carina had every right to tell him off and she deserved an apology from him as well. But of course somehow it just turned into him doing what he always does and people feeling sorry for him anyway and then Carina somehow 'laughing' about it later on in Season 5 and them finding any sort of way to force that dynamic in the most cringe way possible. Will never be something that was appealing to me.

[mithliya]

Hello miss mena. I’m sorry to bother you with another of these “am i a lesbian or not” asks you seem to get so many of. I don’t have anyone in my life to talk to, and you seem willing to answer for other people, so I thought maybe it would be okay. If not please ignore. Either way I hope you’re alright and having a good day and wish you well.

I’m not attracted to men. Sexually or romantically. I don’t want them to touch me. I don’t want to date one or sleep with one. I’m fine being friends with them or working with them. I prefer the company of women though. I can be attracted to some women, but I don’t know what aspects I’m attracted to, physically or emotionally.

I was trafficked, as a kid. From when I was 4-6, I think, but I don’t really remember and I have nobody to remember for me and nobody to ask. I got out when I was 18 but it involved sex with men and women that I didn’t get a say in. After that I’ve not been very.. healthy, sex wise, I don’t think.

I was married for four years to a woman I loved, but the marriage was dead in days when she found out my history. She said that by touching me she was touching every dick I had ever touched and I was raping her. So I did not touch her again and we got divorced. She said that she had been a gold star lesbian until I had touched her. If that’s what being a lesbian is, then I must not be one and never could be.

I’m still trying to learn that it’s not normal to just dissociate and get fucked in order to pay for something. My body still moves and talks like I’m there, but I’m not. I spent a while homeless until I found a guy who would let me live at his place and use his shower, but over time “one blowjob a week” turned into “not allowed to move or leave a room without explicit orders and god forbid you take the leash off.”

Once I got the money to be able to run, I did. I got a decent job. Stopped dating for years. Didn’t want to hurt anyone by touching them like I did my ex wife. If just touching me can make someone not a lesbian anymore I should stay away from people.

The next person to ask me out was a trans woman. I didn’t like them but that doesn’t matter if they like me, right? I like women and can dissociate through sex with dick and spent my childhood learning what to do with it so why not. But I couldn’t. Maybe I’m a bad person.

Saved up, moved again. I thought maybe this time when I made new friends I could just say I was an actual lesbian, make it so I didn’t have to deal with dick at all ever again. But I don’t have that right, do I. I’ve done it before. So I have to be open to it again. I dated guys in high school. I have no right to rule them out or say no. Just because I didn’t have a choice before doesn’t mean I get a choice now, does it? I don’t want to be a bi girl who says she’s a lesbian and then takes dick and makes people think that they can convince lesbians to take it. I don’t want to be a bi girl on a cycle who says she’s a lesbian until she’s moved on. I don’t want to add to the “lesbians are just traumatized” stereotype. I just. I wish I could be allowed to say no to men without causing other women harm. I’m sorry.

I was married for four years to a woman I loved, but the marriage was dead in days when she found out my history. She said that by touching me she was touching every dick I had ever touched and I was raping her. So I did not touch her again and we got divorced. She said that she had been a gold star lesbian until I had touched her. If that’s what being a lesbian is, then I must not be one and never could be.

..what the fuck? she accused you of raping her bc u didnt tell her of u being raped and trafficked ???! what???

if you were never attracted to men and continue to not be attracted to men, then anon you are not somehow bi just bc u were abused & taken advantage of. you sound deeply traumatised to me and im not sure why anyone would tell u that being abused and dissociating thru things is somehow bisexuality. thats horrible of them.

[ampersand-antics]

So I just beat TotK... and I have THOUGHTS

MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW!!!!

TOTK ENDING SPOILERS (OBVIOUSLY)

(I also think I got a secret ending? So spoilers for that)

I think the biggest accomplishment for me so far has been beating that malice-infused Silver Lynel under Hyrule Castle

So funny story, right after the spirit temple, I was like "Well I bet gdorf is under the castle, imma hop down there and see if I can find him." I went to the under-depths under the castle but I didn't see gdorf anywhere! I went past the likelikes and the horriblins and I didn't see any sign of gdorf so I left. Did the kogha depths quests (very much enjoyed the kogha depths quests they were epic!!!! (except I couldn't find the rito chasm)) and then kogha was like 'he's under the castle lol' and so I WENT BACK UNDER THE CASTLE and nothing was different!! And then I found the pass!! That had been there this whole time!!!

Uhhh thoughts on the castle... I loved it. I loved the enemies and how genuinely difficult it was, I loved the aesthetics, the music?? THE MUSIC!!!! oh my god I loved the music sosososo much. The way it progressed throughout the castle?? The way we went so far down was fuckin epic. I enjoyed it immensely. And I loved being able to be back in the first area - the echoes of going back to the beginning, cyclicalness, idk there's a much much deeper theme there but I don't have the words to express it.

I really enjoyed the fights with gdorf and I'm sososo glad he got rehydrated eventually. The hearts getting quite literally destroyed was an amazing twist. And the fact that he could flurry rush you??? I hated (loved) that sooooo much!!! At least he couldn't give like five attacks in return. I got out of that fight with two hearts left, and it was such a weird feeling to have full hearts and there only being two. The draconification was incredibly incharacter for gdorf but I still wasn't really expecting it. Just goes to show how fuckin strong link is, bc he felt THAT desperate. The dragon fight was kinda underwhelming tbh but I absolutely loved the aesthetics. I wish there was a way that the Demon dragon would still be there in the overworld. I'm glad Zelda came back, I'm sosososo glad she got her happy ending, I've heard a lot about how it felt cheap but honestly folks use 'the power of love' as a reason for so many things all the time so it's not bad. And the fact that there's an actual Explanation (sonia's and raaru's spirit powers, coming to finish the job?? Epicccc) one thing i didnt like (or think makes sense) is that links arm went back to normal all in all tho I really enjoyed it!!!!

I liked the secret ending too. I don't really know what to say about it (my brains going brrr rn and it's hard to actually articulate it)

The one thing about all this that really pissed me off was that things just went back to the way they'd been before. I mean, it really didn't have to. You could've kept the gloom by just being like "yeah for some reason all the gloom didn't go away". Then don't transform Zelda back into a human, just extract her, so there's the dragon form and the human form and you can still get horns, let link keep his arm and have mineru's construct be inhabited by an AI. Maybe even add a side quest series about getting rid of the gloom from hyrule/the depths via Zeldas light powers? As for Zelda herself, either go SMO style and have her pop up in random locations talking about stuff, have her stay in Hateno at her house and the school, or (and this would be really cool) make her into a companion! We already have the baseline for that with the other sages, she could have a moveset similar to Zeldas basic light moves in aoc, and maybe her sage ability could bathe a little area in sacred light and make it so gloom wasn't existent in it? Idk it could be super fun. And not having it matter at all in the end makes everything feel much much less meaningful.

All in all, I think i like totk less than botw. But not by much, they're both great games and I LOVE how totk built on botw. Maybe it's just the nostalgia talking, but there's just something I can't put my finger on that makes botw better than totk.

I'll keep updating this blog with more of playthrough!!

[cardistrymagic]

MI7 spoilers (my long rant)

extremely religious takes on the enemy lmao. i think because i'm a sucker for tech being used in spy movies that the airport scene was my favourite. 1. ethan not being found through the cctv- what a fun intro! 2. benji with the bomb- nice to see him do something...( i mean you made me think him running in the airport trailer scene was important 🙄)

IMF team: luther talked more than he has in other movies and i demand more. thanks. i kinda wish they'd use the team more ig. because they are literal field agents so they can fight? i hope? and the whole train scene benji was just gone like waiting thinking "wow he should be here by now" like LET HIM DO SOMETHING!!!

the fact that the entity has control over lots of techy stuff so benji n luther cant really do much??? makes me sad. like let them talk to each other :( i like the gadgets. i liked the little banter luther n benji had.

lastly- the scene where ethan jumps off the cliff- only women are in his flashbacks?? like i thought we'd established the IMF team as his. family lowkey y'know. it was just like okay...

in venice: white widow wasnt bad i guess. the benji dupe voice- love how it played on ethan's loyalty! i think it showed well how dangerous the enemy was- but for some reason i'm still more afraid of the past villain- lane, due to the many examples and horrors he's actually committed. ig im not into the blue ai enemy.

grace: my one thing is that i get that she might have had to be brought into the team to be safe BUT compared to ilsa, she is a pickpocket. a crime commiter at best. she is not at the level of a field agent (unless plot armour??) . not much fighting skills. to me she's kinda a liability. not to mention her constantly running away like. i was endeared to her at the airport because of her confidence. i get that maybe she becomes aware of the world-threatening shitshow she's been dragged into unwillingly but still. idk if she's cut out for the job. compared to ilsa a literal ex-agent with ties to MI6. even on the goddamn train she didnt really trust ethan YOU almost DIED?! if not for the plot armour of ethan parachuting into the carriage. girl literally almost killed him by handcuffing him to the car like very funny he just saved your life. literally not trusting ethan on the piano scene What? i dont care thats shes a orphan you've literallly been through so much. with ethan.

one second she's like not able to do much besides throwing a key around. on the other hand she can fight knife to knife with a super skilled killer (gabriel) like what? a citizen thrown into stuff out of her league-driving a car (she cant) playing a good white widow (id forgive her for never doing this ever) and the train (ok thats fine) like i just dont see the value of her being in the team besides being able to play. a woman? which im sure the og team could do to be honest. . can grace shoot a gun?

btw i feel like her relationship w/ ethan moves so fast?

grace: i dont trust you. i will let the police capture you. you saved my life but im still running!! i messed your plans up (sorry)

ethan:( holds her face) my life is worth less than yours.

What is this intimacy??affection idk closeness? i know ethan is a loyal guy but???

villain: dark messiah. death as a gift. ghost. ai. gabriel (angel wow) i love more religious imagery. the flashback was like a decent window into ethan lore BEFORE imf (oooo) but i just dont really get what gabriel wants? the entity is messing shit up already. and gabriel seems to already work with it (comms faked in venice) i assume that ethan is a variable the entity needs to eliminate but just kill him? hahaha? gabriel probably likes seeing ethan suffer but compared to lane's stuff i'm not really. amused. (ethan literally has nightmares about lane)

also paris i didnt even know if they ever said her name? she was angry and dressed up and had some rabid dog scenes (like go girl) but i hope she does more in the next part! like the part where she holds up ethan and grace with a stab wound (woah. strong)

other stuff: the dutch angles being used in like 50% of the shots like CALM DOWN i love the mi:1 references but were they always so disorieting maybe im just getting old

the scenes? ilsa dies and ethan looks a bit distressed. the scene where they're hugging was so like woah okay but felt really like. shoved in there like. Okay yeah something bad is gonna happen to her 😭😭

in the end, rogue nation + ghost protocol are still my #1s. characters like brandt and ilsa had really interesting backgrounds and fit into the IMF team easily- the films centering around their teamwork is why i got so into MI in the first place. grace doesn't offer any like addition i dont think she can even bicker with the team for funsies (like brandt/ilsa) . she's not cool shes a poor girl that didnt know what she was getting into 😭

things i did like:

action scenes. awesome((besides the lack of luther and benji there)) ilsa being awesome in the desert

the cinematography (beautiful. as always.)

everyone in suits ( lawyer ethan. benji. )

thanks for reading and feel free to yell at me about your thoughts!!!!!

[lostinatrainofthoughts]

2024 was really a time of trial and error for me. i can say i hated the year but those were the errors from the trials, and most of them were my choices anyway. but of course, had i known the outcome was brutal, i would have reconsidered these choices.

2024 was very painful, but i did do things i never would have imagined me doing.

like going on a dating app. huhhh?? who is she???? who was she. me, the introvert and homebody, actually went out and met people?? strangers from the net no less? when i hate being perceived? and when i get anxiety by socialising?? thats crazyyyyy. but i did it. not there anymore. and will never be. the last guy propelled me to get of the app for good lol. im now more confident of how i look too from that, bc guys who are goodlooking swiped me right. that was a major ego boost but again, male validation is gross and they might be just objectifying. but i guess partly bc of that, i know i am not ugly.

which brings me to my next one, finding someone i loved dearly and who "i guess" i felt gave me love... to an extent. i went on 3-4 diff. dates with diff dudes, an excrutiating amount of talking stages and i finally thought i met the one. mmmm this one felt like felt. it felt like we were meant to be. typical story of how are moms were childhood friends and were close in highschool. his mom has my bday. they live in the village where my grandpa lived before. our sun & moon signs are opposite of eachother. the moon on our bdays was the new moon and reflected facing eachother. like a mirror. i felt like he was an extention of myself. his pain i felt. what i am, i saw in him. also we both have the strangest names. huwaina. k/hairurr/abiee. thats so funny and unique and special to me. no one we know has our name. it was always fun with him. i felt safe earlier on. we always have something to say. with him, i felt oddly peaceful. but again, he also brought chaos in my life. and i was also used as a result! so theres a war in my head thats constantly tugging my brain at the seams. did i mean anything to him and how true was his feelings for me if he was trying to get over someone else in the mix? but anyway i will never know. and even if i asked him, would he tell me the truth? and if the truth is my biggest fear, then do i truly want to know? or should i just pretend that he loves me in this space where he cant reach me and hurt me?

its been 5ish months, almost 6??? i cant say ive fully moved on. had i known he was not written to be mine, i would have turned back time and wish we never met. but it is through him i finally was able to be vulnerable and open and experience what its like to be in love and have someone love me back. and that the love i thought i couldnt attain, i so could. so i know i can find love and i am loveable. i dont have to work so hard for it. so im gonna take this with me and i hope i do right with my next (hopefully eternal) lover. 6 months in, i finally realised and have accpeted he was just a lesson. eventhough i really wish he wasnt. hes engraved in my heart.

hmm what else. oh job. i quit my teaching job that was hell. but little did i know job searching for 5 months was a different kind of hell. i think this year alone, i want to like 15 interviews, and only managed to get into 2 and even then it was something i applied towards the end of the year. applied for scholarships too but didnt get through. a mess and was so emotionally taxing bc i wasnt financially stable, and was mending a broken heart lmaoooo. that was the worst.

lost alot along the way. him, my grandma, my cats. its been a disaster of a year. should it have happened? probably not. i dont think all of this was even warranted in the name of "growth". i feel like i would have grown either way, and there must be better routes to learn and grow that didnt require me getting trauma along the way.

but through all this, i found God and seek refuge to Him and Him alone. i feel like my relationship got closer. and I dont hate Him and blame him any more for my own wrong doings. and i also am more patient amd graceful with myself. i dont really treat myself cruelly.

but i hope this years different. i dont want to try so hard, and not see anything good come out of it. and i wont be repeating mistakes. i hope this year will be kinder to me. please please please.

[freebooter4ever]

my grandma's hair didnt fall out all at once during her chemo - it took weeks, months and came out in clumps. whenever it happened grandpa would help her into the car and they would drive a few miles out of town into the farm fields and grandma would roll down the window and let her hair fly into the wind.

or, sometimes, she would leave the clumps next to the bird feeder in their backyard so that the birds could use her hair to make their nests. her last days on her deathbed were spent watching the birds in the backyard from her bedroom window.

grandma died when she was 70 exactly one month before her 71 birthday and i was 20. i was rather precocious as a college senior and imagined that having moved across the country on my own, started living in my own, and generally being self sufficient that i had already learned everything i needed to know from her. my boyfriend at the time (the new york guy, the one i call The Ex) told me grandma had a long life and kind of dismissed my grief. and i kept quiet about it, and never tried to explain why it felt like an unimaginable loss, why grandma was one of my childhood lifelines.

the longer i live the more i realize how much she never got a chance to to fully teach me because i hadnt lived enough at that point to understand. and i mourn the loss each time. i remember bits and pieces of things she learned that i observed, but it's like studying with half the pages of the book missing. i really really wish i could go back and ask her questions, ask her to explain further something teenage me only got the barest understanding of.

when i got my first real place to live with my first job out of college i was a wreck - summer 2012, the abusive Idiot had just dumped me, i was scared of everything and had strict rules for myself to follow not for any logical reason but to feel 'safe'. but i had also finally found a good house to live in with a group of good friends. and the very first thing i did was go out and buy a towel.

gramdma had a thing for towels - i never understood it but she had dozens of every different color and grandpa built special floor to ceiling narrow shelves just to hold her towels. it was a running joke in our family, both because it meant that when all 20+ grandkids were staying over at grandmas house we each got to use our own towel, but also because these towels were the worst towels anyone has ever experienced. thin, scratchy, never actually got you completely dry because the towel would become damp almost immediately. but grandma loved those stupid towels because when she grew up during the great depression, even shitty towels were a luxury.

so the first thing i did when trying to live independently was go out and buy a towel with birds on it. that was over a decade ago and the poor thing is raggedy now with fraying edges and strings hanging off. I never actually use it anymore, I have a newer nicer towel and the bird towel usually just hangs behind the door. But I still keep it because that's grandma's towel to me.

Anyway the point of this is, that towel is now being used to dry my compression socks that i have to wash daily:

and i cant go back in time and ask grandma how she dealt with losing her creative mind during chemo. ask her how she handled the strangeness of brain fog. ask her how she kept her sense of identity and self when her gift for poetry and words and writing failed her.

but i can dry my stupid compression socks (that are keeping my body functioning and reducing my brain fog a little more each consecutive day i wear them) on a 5$ shitty bird towel and remember her every time i do it.

sigh every time i brush my hair more falls out

[liquid-geodes]

H E R E ✨

I'd say his backstory is relatively the same as canon, the only thing that changes is that he decayed realistically.

I don't think this one needs any warning, but you can still ask to tag

Had he known the morning prior would have been the last sunrise he'd ever see again, William would have admired it longer. Now he was trapped, in a prison of his own making no less. It wasn't his fault, was it?

No. No he was only trying to gather the rest of the family... the rest of the lost souls.

Perhaps this was for the better, perhaps this was exactly where he needed to be. They would be together now, until the end of time. Never aging, never dying. Finally, he could put them all back together except...

He wasn't sure where he was.

He had known, at first at least, despite his sudden loss of vision, something the springlocks must have taken of course, or perhaps the years of decay is what took his sight from him. Whatever it was, it didn't matter now, not when there was still work to be done.

He had been moved, that much he knew, away from Freddy's, away from the family he had finally managed to gather. The voices that took him were unfamiliar, but undoubtedly young. Too young to have ever remembered his name, too young to know what they were dealing with.

Too young to know that they never should have taken him to something involving Freddy's.

Fazbear Frights. That was the name of the location he had been brought to. At least, that is what he was certain he had overheard. It was true what they said, that losing one sense heightened the rest. His hearing had become incredible after decades of living in darkness, so much so that he was certain he could hear their heartbeats quicken in fear as they approached his seemingly deactivated form if only he'd focus hard enough.

Disgusting. Authentic. Springtrap. That was what they had called him. How... fitting, the name had been, although they wouldn't know just how on the nose the nickname truly was. No one seemed to notice the mummified remains that made their home inside the old suit, writing off the smell as nothing more than years of abandonment. After all, it wasn't unreasonable to assume mice had found their way inside the contraption to make their home, right?

William, no. Springtrap spent his nights acclimating himself to his new surroundings. An old arcade cabinet here, a hallway there, an entrance to the ventilation system next to what he assumed was an emergency exit door on account of the alarms that would blare whenever he tried to open the door. He had been able to get a good lay of the land before their first nightguard had been hired, though he didnt stick around long once Springtrap decided to have his fun.

Then of course there was the next one, slightly older than the last, but still unwilling to put up with the animatronic's games.

Then there was Hudson, his favorite little play thing by far. How he wished he could see the look of terror on that one's face. Hudson wouldn't even approach him during the day, while he was feigning inactivity, for fear that the animatronic would come to life and hunt him down.

No, he couldn't hunt him while the lights were still on. Where was the fun in that? How was it fair that Hudson could see what Springtrap couldn't?

It wasn't. So he'd wait, until the clock chimed and alerted him that it was midnight. Six whole hours to make the nightguard regret applying to this job.

He hadn't even meant to kill Hudson, then again, he never really laid his hands on the kid. How could he? The closest he had ever gotten was during a chase in the hallway one night, but the kid had thrown so many objects in his panic, masking the sound of his retreating footsteps... Springtrap never did figure out which direction the kid had ran. The next morning was when he had discovered that he had hid in an oven in the makeshift kitchen area. Someone or something had turned it on while the kid was hiding inside, burning his favorite nightguard alive.

Of course, Springtrap had a certain... inclination towards who could have been to blame, but he could never be sure. He could feel her presence, the same as he had the night he had been springlocked, but he had no way of knowing if the Marionette was in the building with him currently. Seeing was believing after all, and Springtrap didn't exactly have vision on his side. He could feel his way around the various decorations on the walls all he wanted, but nothing would tell him with absolute certainty that the thing he was touching was connected to the proper vessel.

Before the new nightguard had been hired, a sound system had been installed throughout the building, "to heighten the customer's experience with these old tapes" the manager had said. It, however, only served to disorient and distract Springtrap while he tried to navigate his way around. Between the new audio cues and the incessant sounds of the subpar ventilation systems, he wasn't sure how east his next hunt would be.

The new nightguard did eventually show up for his first shift, and Springtrap knew the faulty ventilation would go out eventually, giving him a brief moment of blissful silence to try and locate his new prey's location. He had made it all the way to the room just in front of the fake office, a thick piece of glass being the only thing standing between him and his new playmate. He brought his hand up and loudly slammed his open palm against the material, if only to confirm his location based on the sound the two materials would make when they collided, but the startled shriek of terror that tore from the nightguard's lips told him everything he needed to know.

In the distance, he could hear the quiet question:

"Hello?"

It successfully drew him away from the office, if only to try and find where the noise was coming from, or more importantly, whoever had made the noise.

Had he been able to see through the glass in front of him, he would have been met with the familiar face of someone from his past.

[a-v-j]

They freaking found me

Ok, so remember how i basically moved out from my old house about 3 months ago? I just wish to be forgotten but noooooo.

One ugly face i hoped to not see again till the day of their funeral, showed in front of my doorstep this morning. I DONT KNOW HOW, but FUUUUUUU

They gonna keep showing up now, threat me again with bullshit and demand some money that barely last ME a month, since they know where i am.

I need to accumulate about $500 to move again, the other rents here are more expensive than the one i currently live in

So people please commission me. I know i know i still got a list and is slow with it but i cant stand the idea of them coming back to harass me again, as if the slander they tell about me to my old neighborhood wasnt enough, all while playing victim. URGHHHHhhhh.

I really hate disclosing my real life issue but i really dont have money to do something about it and i don't want to be in debt to rl friends 'cause they are also broke

Update: we're still short on the goal but I guess a good news is that I figured out how i got found. Some snitch from the old neighborhood saw me and tattled like GOSH that's none of their business, man! Im trying to settle some business with them and im trying not to be violent, gotta keep my private life unsullied

Anyways, been on the process of finding a new home from the listing but so far not enough funds yet.

Update: i, uh, landed myself a job and training starts in about a week from now. We'll see where this will take me

Commission details can be found here

Paypal here

For support, my Patreon here(you'll get a glamrock bonnie sticker!)

Pasting rules here for everybody to see(for my page only. I could only pin one post but i have to paste my rules because there are followers who doesn't know these rules)

RULES FOR NEW COMERS

Most especially if it’s a newly-made account and/or empty blogs or obviously recently filled with with likes from my work to not look empty

*Don’t ask me for requests or free drawings, i only do that for my friends(or announced events)

*Make good first impression(dont just compliment me that won’t work)(whether if it’s dm or ask), otherwise you’ll be labeled as troll alt acc and will be blocked after 3 violations(no notices, no warning). Automatic block for those who intentionally violate rules

*Know my work first before trying to befriend me(genuine interest in my work=genuine interest in me)

*Know im not always nice but will try to keep things friendly as much as possible

*It’s ok to make a mistake, but don’t make the same mistake twice

*Take note i occasionally make 18+ skeleton materials so when you happen to bump into one and it’s totally not your cup of tea, know that it’s on you for not reading this pinned post

*I’m very keen in details, so better get names right if you want me to have a good impression on you

*Don’t do “what’s everyone’s reaction to this” “what do you think of my oc” in my Ask box. Ask one to two characters only because like you, i get tired drawing too. Unless the question including multiple characters of mine is answerable with words then ok

*Note that i answer asks in three ways; with words only(occasional old art for visuals), drawings(static or animated) or not answering at all. So in such case i dont answer immediately with words, then your ask might be answered with a drawing(or with a gif if it’s taking longer, no promises) or has been ignored due to technical difficulties that i don’t want to answer it.

*Do not submit to me your oc that isnt even related to my characters, im not gonna be some advertisement ad to showcase your stuff in my blog even if that’s not your intention and im not an art teacher who you be submitting your art to. Im sorry, i just can’t give any genuine opinion on things i didnt make or not interested in(it requires me to think harder than i should and I don’t want that) but im not saying your art is bad or anything

*Jesus, one ask from one person at a time. If curiosity gets the best of ya, compile it in one ask. Youre giving me quite a workout, kid

*If you get blocked, im sorry, but you didnt read the rules

*Do not ask me for my favorite things because my head usually doesnt keep record of what they are, I would try answer my friends of course

*When sending an ask addressed to a character, make sure they are residents of Avjverse. See the full list here**. Asking a character i don't have will result in a block under the belief youre just deliberately doing it on purpose to spite me. So read for your own sake

**note: not everyone in this list are available for Asks

*auto-block for empty ass blogs with default avatar picture for profile pic cuz ur sus. I suggest putting content in your blogs first other wise dont follow me

A mini guide on how to get around AVJ, brought to you by 10:12,07/01/22 AVJ

Updated by 17:23,07/08/22 AVJ

Updated by 01:6,07/10/22 AVJ

Updated by 11:02,07/14/22 AVJ

Updated by 21:52,07/23/22 AVJ

Updated by 22:52,08/01/22 AVJ

[i-have-a-wonky-eye-too]

Always Meant To Be... Part 8

Ransom Drysdale x reader

<Part 7<

Ransom didn't know what to do. He'd tried to follow after you, but by the time he had his shoes and coat on, and found his car keys, you were nowhere in sight. So he went back home and had a drink, then another before he decided to text you. He could play it off as a joke that got out of hand. Or, he could say he thought that's what you wanted him to say.

It didn't matter what he said, you didn't answer. So he had another drink and decided to call you. He'd be able to explain himself better but you didn't pick up. So he had another drink and tried to call you again, but you still didn't answer. So when he poured himself another drink and dialed your number a third time, he decided to leave you a voice mail.

"I wish I could tell you to eat shit, and be done with you, but I can't. So, I'll leave you alone. Talk to me when you're ready... just, stay safe. Please."

He should have left it there, but he didnt. That wasn't him. So he dialed one last time and left another voice mail in true Ransom style.

"GO FUCK YOURSELF!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You weren't sure why you told the taxi driver to go to Steve's but you did. Maybe you should have gone to Harlan's but you weren't ready to face him, and Ransom could have turned up and you really weren't ready for that.

"Can I help you?" You looked up at the brunet man in front of you.

"Oh, hmm, sorry, I'm looking for, Steve Rogers. Is he here?" You asked blushing.

The man nodded, "Sure, c'mon in, doll." He stepped aside with a soft smile. "Sorry, what's your name?"

"Oh, Y/N, sorry... I work with, Steve." You blushed.

"Bucky," He held his hand out to you and smiled as you shook it. "Go sit. I'll shout him for you." Bucky smiled again before walking off down the hall.

You let out a heavy sigh as you walked over to the sofa and sat down when your cell started to vibrate. You frowned and pulled it out of your purse with a groan. Ransom.

"Y/N, hey." Steve walked over to you with Bucky behind him. "Are you okay? What's going on?" He frowned as he sat next to you.

You sighed, "Ransom... He declared his love for me and then he asked me to marry him."

Steve's eyes widened. "What?"

"Isn't that a good thing?" Bucky asked from where he stood.

Steve huffed and looked over to him. "Stay outta this, would ya'?" He shook his head and turned back to you. "Sorry, 'bout him." He offered you a small smile, "Right. From the beginning, what happened?"

You took a deep breath. "So, I was giving, Ransom, a blow job in his kitchen when his father and uncle barged in shouting at him."

Steve held his hand up. "Ew! No, I don't need to know that."

"I do!" Bucky grinned. "Let me get a bottle of wine, then you can start from the beginning again." He clapped his hands before walking off into the kitchen.

You shook your head with a smile as you looked at Steve.

"Sorry." He chuckled, "Bucky's my best friend... and room mate." He let out a soft sigh as he watched Bucky move around their kitchen.

You hummed, "And he's dark haired." You smirked at him. "Tell me I'm wrong." You raised your eyebrow.

Steve shook his head. "Okay, so maybe I have a crush on him." Steve blushed as he looked back at you.

"Bullshit. The two of you have fucked, haven't you?" You asked with a grin.

Steve groaned as he fell back into the sofa. "Once. In college. It's when I realised I was gay..."

"You like him more than just friends, don't you?" Steve nodded. "So why are you not together?" You asked curiously.

Steve shook his head. "We're best friends, it would screw things up. And besides, Bucky, doesn't do relationships." He shrugged.

You nodded as Bucky came back and sat on the other side of you.

"Okay. From the beginng." He smiled cheekily at you making you laugh. Steve groaned in embarrassment, making you laugh even more. Maybe coming to Steve's was what you needed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After having a long chat with both, Steve and Bucky, you were able to finally admit to yourself, you've had to hide all the feelings you had somewhere deep inside you because you never thought that Ransom would reciprocate them. You were in love with Ransom.

He was Hugh Ransom Drysdale, he didn't do love. In his words, 'He fucked and chucked woman, he didn't fall in love with them.'

Because you hid your feelings, your friendship with Ransom was able to grow into something beautiful at an early age. The pair of you relied on each other, you found a haven in each other that wasn't based on sex. It was true. And that's why you couldn't show your feelings for him, because you were scared of losing the only person you felt close to.

After a couple of days, Steve managed to convince you to read Ransom's texts and listen to his voice mails. They were a mixture of Ransom's emotions, exactly how you'd expected him to react. He said he was joking or, he blamed Walt. You weren't even fazed when he told you to go fuck yourself. Typical Ransom.

Sunday evening, you were mentally preparing yourself as you stood at Ransom's front door. You needed to speak to Ransom and if it turned out to be a joke, you were going to smack him, and move back to France.

You looked back over your shoulder to where Steve sat in his car waiting for you, before you knocked on the front door and waited... and waited and waited, but there was no reply. You looked back at where his beamer was parked in the usual spot and frowned. If that was home, Ransom was.

A part of you was starting to panick. Maybe he'd gotten drunk like he did the night you left and he passed out. And hit his head. Oh, shit, now you were really panicking.

Then you remembered something that happened the week before.

"Why are you knocking?" Ransom frowned at you as you stood on his door step.

Your smile fell, "Because that's what you do at someone's door."

Ransom huffed and grabbed a hold of your hand, pulling you inside and slamming the door shut. He walked over to where he kept his keys in a bowl and pulled out a spare one.

"Here." He handed you it. "Now you never need to knock."

You rolled your eyes with a soft exhale. "Are you really that lazy?"

Ransom's eyes darkened. "Oh, baby girl, I'm far from lazy." He smirked as he grabbed a hold of you by the waist and crashed his lips against yours, slipping his tongue into your mouth.

You slipped your hand into your pocket and pulled your keys out and flipped through them until you got to the right one. Using the key Ransom had given you, you let yourself in.

There was no life as far as you could see, so you slowly began to walk further into his house. That's when you heard the strange noise. You frowned as you moved closer to the staircase, straining your hearing for the noise. When you heard it, you quickly ran up the stairs. "Ransom, are you oka--"

"SHIT!" Ransom quickly pushed the girl's head back, pulling his cock from her mouth. "Y/N, I--"

"FUCK YOU!" You shook your head and quickly turned around as Ransom jumped up from the chair he was sat in.

Ransom completely ignored the poor girl that was knelt on the floor as he pulled his pants back up.

You ran out the front door and down the path, finally letting your tears fall.

"Y/N!" Ransom shouted as he ran out after you. "Stop! Please!" He begged.

"Fuck you, Ransom!" You shouted.

"Stop!" Ransom quickly caught up to you, grabbing a hold of your arm and pulling you to stop.

"No!" You hit his chest. "Get off me!" You struggled in his hold on your upper arms.

"Y/N?" Steve closed his car door as he shouted out to you.

Ransom glared at him as his nostrils flared. "Who the fuck is he?" He snapped at you.

"Don't even go there, Ransom. Not when you literally just had your cock in someone's mouth." You glared at him.

"M'sorry, okay? I thought you weren't coming back." He gulped. "I love you," He whispered.

He leaned in to kiss you but you quickly slapped your hand across his face making him pull away from you.

"You can't just kiss me, Ransom, and fix this." You sobbed.

"What am I supposed to do? You just left." Ransom shouted.

He looked over at Steve who was watching the pair of you intently.

He wasn't going to let Ransom hurt you.

"Seriously, who the fuck is he? He the reason you ran? You fucking him too?" Ransom snapped at you.

You pushed on his chest, "Leave, Steve, out of this!" You hissed. "I was going to apologize for just running out like I did. You said to talk to you when I was ready. I was ready, Ransom. I was going to tell you how scared I was to hear you say I love you. I was going to bare my heart to you, but you had to go and shove your cock down some whore's throat!"

"Just let me explain, Y/N, please." Ransom grabbed a hold of your arm again.

"No!" You shook your head as you pulled your arm back. "What was it you said in your last voice mail? Go fuck yourself."

Ransom watched as you turned and walked away from him. He watched Steve wrap his arm around you, pressing a kiss to your forehead before he opened the passenger side door for you. He waited until the car started to pull away before he let his own heart crumble.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist: @starkleila @tenaciousperfectionunknown @janaev4ns @patzammit @valhalla-kristin @dontbescaredtosingalong @gh0stgurl

[jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue]

Our little love part 2 - mafia/yandere au Drabble {angst + fluff}

As always please let me know what you think, I am actually going to go to bed now my brain is angry with me for not sleeping.

It seemed the cycle was never ending, you fucking up and pissing them off, them punishing you by drowning you in their love, only letting you come up to breathe so you could swim in your own guilt and submit to them.

You wince as the victim to your latest fuck up gets another blow to his chest. Taehyung and Hobi held onto his arms as Jungkook and Jimin kick and punch the poor individual. You know not to speak, it’ll only make things worse. Temperament was a fickle thing in their lives, trust was everything, and you still had to build yours up again.

“Y/n help please,” Kai whimpers as you stood with your arms crossed looking away.

“Don’t fucking say her name,” Jungkook growled before punching your ex colleague in the face. You’re frowning, the need to beg them to stop was fighting for exit on the top of your tongue, but you bite it down and pray Kai doesn’t say another word. You know if you do as he asks they’d kill him. Your punishment was to watch silently.

Yoongi strolls up behind you, hands in his pockets before he rests his head on your shoulder, watching the display in front of you both.

“Nothing to say little love?” He whispers as your friend groans out in pain.

Please don’t kill him, you want to say, but you just shake your head in defeat. You want to believe they’re better than this, but the evidence of the contrary was never hidden from you. They showed you every side of them whether proud of it or not with bold eyes daring you to stop loving them, pushing your boundaries and morals waiting for you to snap. But the breaking point never came, you loved them, you shouldn’t and you knew it, but you did. You were completely and utterly theirs, yet still they treated you like you hadn’t seen the worst of them. Like you would run away the second you realised they were monsters, not that they would let you run far, only far enough to let you take a single breath before making you drown in them once again.

Yoongi wraps his arms around your waist, keeping an eye on your reactions. The asshole deserved it, not that they cared either way, he tried to take you away from them, that was enough.

Kai was your old partner before you took a very early retirement, what you didn’t know was that he continued the case you were working on before you left; the case of the seven men you now loved and the reason you quit said job. He had called you to meet up for old times sake and you, very naively in Yoongi’s mind, decided it was harmless. But if it was harmless why didn’t you say anything to the boys? You thought Kai didn’t know the reason you handed in your resignation, but he had been keeping an eye on you all before he realised you were the key to their downfall. He knew you harboured some feeling for him in the past and thought you’d reciprocate when he tried to flirt his way into getting his hands on the evidence you collected, he didnt know you burned it all. You lied to him and said you lost it, same difference anyway. This prompted plan b from him.

“Y/n they’re criminals,” he had said to you. “You’re a cop at heart you can’t love them.”

You floundered at his words when you realised he knew, and yet he still asked you to betray them.

“Kai I think I need to go...”

It was a mistake, you knew it then, but he followed you out onto the street and you hoped tonight the men you loved weren’t keeping an eye on you. Maybe naive was an understatement.

“Are they coercing you Y/n! Do they have something on you or are they threatening you?” He calls after you. “Because the Y/n I know would never love killers, what have they done to you?”

It was when he reached his hand out to grab your arm that your boyfriends decided to show themselves from the shadows. Which lead to the situation now, Kai beat up and bruised beyond recognition, and you forced to watch. He falls unconscious and they let him drop to the floor, you hate this side of them, it was cruel and cold but you’d never leave. They turn to face you now, their anger still present despite the last hour of releasing it onto your old partner. They don’t miss the way you’re shaking, the shallow breaths as you try and keep your tears to yourself. As much as you hate their violence, you hate their disappointment in you more.

——————————————————————————

You’re sitting in Joonie’s lap for what you call the debriefing of your punishment, this happened way too often in your opinion. You look down but he wasn’t having it today, tilting your head to look at him by your chin.

“Why did you get punished today little love?” He starts the same way as usual.

“I went out without telling you guys where I was going or who with,” you say while fiddling with your fingers out of nervous habit.

“And?” Hobi sits across from you in a chair, legs straddling the back and an elbow rested on top with his fist holding up his face. Hobi was hardest to pacify, he was ruthless and unforgiving and while that didn’t extend to you, you still had a hard time with his stubborn anger.

“I met up with Kai, and I let him touch me,” you’ve done this too many times before to not know how it worked. Kai’s ‘touch’ obviously meant nothing to you but for them it was the worst crime anyone could commit against their little love.

You remember the time you nearly tripped in the park and a guy steadied you politely, but you still had to hold Jungkook back from throwing hands.

“Kookie would you rather I fell and hurt myself?” No he hadn’t wanted that so he grumbled in agreement still seething but you cooled it down. “Instead of hitting him maybe you should thank him,” it was a joke but it made the youngest scoff.

“Baby girl why can’t you just be good?” Namjoon’s sigh brings you back to the present. “Why do you always have to test us like this?”

You didn’t mean to, you want to say it but the words are stuck below the sob in your throat. You actually whimper as his tone, bottom lip wobbling pathetically. He hadn’t even told you off properly, but you already felt like a mess as he bathed you in his disappointment. That was the common consequence of your actions and you hated it, you couldn’t do anything right.

——————————————————————————

“Jin do you need help with the food?” You ask your eldest boyfriend politely, he was frowning and you thought it was because today’s meal was too much for him to handle alone, his tone of voice made you realise it was because of you.

“No, I’m alright,” he doesn’t look at you as he speaks and you’re left gaping at him like a fish. Jin loved it when you cooked with him, it was your bonding time without the others, although Yoongi would join you from time to time. The others also tried but Jin wouldn’t let them anywhere near the kitchen, they hogged you enough anyway.

You feel your soul deflate, still standing there as he ignored you.

“Are you mad at me too?”

The way you said it made his heart twinge with guilt, but the others were right you wouldn’t learn and your first betrayal was still fresh on their minds. He sighs and you turn away, refusing to crying in front of them for the tenth time that day. What was wrong with you? Ever since that day where they found out who you really were you felt like you werent enough anymore, you tried so hard to make up for it all but you kept messing up. You weren’t like this before, but after seeing the hurt you put them through you were constantly on edge and second guessing yourself. You wish you could go back and stop them from ever finding out.

Jin hears the sniffle as you walk away and he can’t go through with it.

“Wait little love,” he calls for you. “I forgot to cut the onions, would you mind?”

You shake your head, you didn’t mind, but you didn’t trust your voice to answer for you. Youre grateful to Jin for giving you this task, it hides the fact you’re crying, but you know he doesn’t miss it.

——————————————————————————

Jimin and Taehyung were giving you narrowed stern gazes through dinner, it put you off your food which resulted in getting told off by Jin just after he branched out to you in the kitchen.

You felt alone, like the seven men you loved were against you and there was no one to blame but yourself.

“I’m sorry,” you say quietly before getting up and removing yourself from the dinner table and dining room, ignoring all of their stares. You decide maybe an early night is best, you could start again fresh tomorrow. You don’t get too far up the stairs before a hand pulls you back, you turn to see Jimin with Tae a few steps behind him.

You’re so used to seeing them laugh and play around that it feels like you’re looking at different people. Even during missions or gun fights, the youngest three were always joking their way through the bloodshed, keeping scores of who got the most headshots and other grotesque games. You remember the time Jimin and Tae called you during he middle of a shoot out, arguing with you and each other over who you loved more out of the two while you begged them to not get shot or killed.

“Why did you go see him Y/n?” Jimin asked, he wore the demeanour he used for enemies and it takes you back to that night.

“I... h-he said he wanted to see me to catch up,” you explain but you know it’ll fall on deaf ears.

“And you thought that was a good idea, to see your old cop buddy?” His tone makes you feel stupid, you weren’t stupid.

“He was my friend Jimin,” you say in disbelief, you know in the end it was a mistake but at the time it didn’t seem like the worst idea in the world.

“You’re ours,” Taehyung moved forward, towering over you even though he’s a step below you. His face is close to your own, eyes burning into yours as he looks disgusted at the words that left your mouth as if they’re still attached to you. “How do you think we felt when you went to see another detective? Do you have any idea what was going through our heads?”

“Tae I love you,” you lean away from him, searching his face for a hint of softness and love in his gaze, but there was only fire. “You know I wouldn’t, you all know I wouldn’t, I left that life for you why would I turn back to it?”

He stalks away from you without a word, Jimin close behind, giving you a final cold glance before leaving you alone. You thought your love could make them better but if anything you made their darkness worse.

——————————————————————————

Jungkook needed to vent, the only way he knew how was physically. Obviously it wasn’t the cleverest thing he’s done, taking rounds with the punching bag only to open up the cuts on his hand from beating the bastard earlier. He mutters a few curse words under his breath, why did you make matters worse? Maybe they were being harsh on you before today, finding any excuse to punish you a little, test your boundaries and see if you would run, but today they honestly feared that was what happened. They thought you chose to leave them and go back to the life you had before them, but they’d never let you go, they couldn’t let you go. Despite everything you loved them and they worshipped the ground you walked on. You were everything for them now, there’s be no point to any of them without you. Why didn’t you understand that?

He throws another punch to the bag, spreading his blood across them, it hurt like hell, but the thought of you running back to your old partner still played on all of their minds. He wanted to cry, he wanted to find you and beg you to never leave them, they’d be nothing without you.

There’s a knock on the door and he finds you on the other side, waiting for permission to come in. You never waited for permission, it makes him frown, maybe they were too harsh on you today. He could see you shuffling your weight, insecurity screaming through your eyes, you feared his rejection more than his anger.

He notices the first aid kit in your hand, you must’ve heard him. He doesn’t let the fluttering in his chest reach his face as he sits on the bench, waiting for you to come to him.

His gaze is expectant, daring you to cross the threshold and face him, you were no coward, you didn’t fear them the way others did, why were you behaving so meekly now? You force yourself to move and sit beside him, setting the kit down and pushing your hair back behind your ears. He doesn’t move his gaze away from you, even with the sweat and hair hanging in front of his face.

You carefully take a his hand into yours, sucking air between your teeth at how injured it was.

“I’m sorry you hurt yourself because of me,” you say, eyes on his bloodied knuckle as you press the ointment against the open wounds. “Are you sure you want me to stay, I keep hurting you...”

You try to sound like you’re joking, that you’re okay and the hurt isn’t weighing you down with your doubts. He frowns, they really did take it too far. He sets down the cotton wool from your grasp, taking both of hands into his before kissing each finger delicately without letting you look away.

“You’re perfect little love,” Jungkook says, reassuring you with no question in his voice. “We’re the ones who don’t deserve you, we’re mean and cruel but we’re never letting you go.”

You remember how loving they were before that night, maybe while they accepted the truth at face value they could never really forgive you in their hearts. Maybe that’s why they were being like this, they didn’t love you the same way anymore.

“Do you love me?” You had to know, the doubt was eating you alive.

He looks at you as if you’re insane, maybe you are, you don’t know anymore.

“Little love, don’t you see how much we love you?” He asks sincerely. “We would do anything for that love even if it made you hate us, you belong with us, and no one is going to take you away.”

You could see the crazed look in his face grow as he spoke, you believed him, the honestly worn like a heart on a sleeve. But his answer bought a wave clarity to your hazed vision, you made them like this, you made them worse, you had to leave.

[bcdwhcre]

Could you Maybe write a headcanon about Levi and erwin taking in the reader after her parents died where she is living with all the scouts/cadet corps and just Like them being her two fake overprotective dads? (You Can add a Lil erenxreader if u want)

If you dont wanna write this thats totally fine, ily <3

“Father Figure,” Erwin x Levi Headcanon

I actually really like this ideaaaa, I can imagine Levi and Erwin being over protective dads.

Summary: headcanon of Erwin and Levi as overprotective dads after they take baby you in after your parents die.

Warnings: noneee, just fluffy dads

.

.

.

Levi:

When Levi found you in the streets, skinny, on the brink of death and crying after witnessing your parents die from starvation, it had gave him horrible flashbacks from when he was in that same position.

He didn’t hesitate to take you in and raise you as his own, you even got comfortable enough to call him dad but they were times when you would switch between dad and Levi which he didn’t mind.

Once you became of age, you had tried to convince Levi to let you join the scouts but he continuously said no which made you bicker with him.

You definitely got your stubbornness from him 100%. The small arguments between you two were entertaining like two children fighting over the last slice of pizza until he would get irritated and made you clean.

When the new set of cadets came in, it wasn’t long that you became close friends with Eren, Armin and the rest of them since you were around their age but Levi had always tried his best to keep you separated from the cadets, it only made your dream to become a scout increase.

“When are you going to let me join the scouts, dad?” You brought the topic up once again, he was sure this was the millionth time this month you had brought it up but he was obviously being dramatic

“I’m not letting you join, Y/N. That will always be my final answer.” The annoyance in his tone was obvious and he had stared over at you, making you let out a groan.

“Why are you so afraid of me joining? I learned from the best and you’re keeping me trapped in here like a dog!” You certainly pushed his buttons even to the point where he would ask himself why he picked you up and took you in but of course he never regretted that decision, he loved you like his own.

“I’m not letting you go out there and risk your life under my watch, Y/N.”

“As if you don’t leave me here to risk your life and leave me wondering if I’ll become an orphan again.”

Levi grew quiet, he knew you were right but he never really went deep into thought about it and he couldn’t help but feel guilty once he saw it from your point of view.

“I doubt I’ll be dying anytime soon, too good at my job.” He said with a snarky attitude, his eyes moving back down to the papers in front of him.

“Doesn’t matter, you shouldn’t be hypocrite. I want to join the scouts.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“I said no.” Levi shot you a hard glare, making you close your mouth and breathe in through your nose.

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore, get out of here and go do your chores.” He simply said, using his hand to gesture you off and that had made you upset, mumbling words he couldn’t make out while you stepped towards the office door.

“Hey,” He spoke up again, making you turn around and you had gotten scared that he heard your mumbles and was probably going to add more chores to your list.

“I love you, alright? I’ll think about it.” Levi had a huge soft spot for you, his heart weighed heavily to even think about his own child joining the scouts. He wanted you to be somewhat normal and live a normal life.

“Really? You’re serious?”

“I might be but I can’t promise that I would agree to it, Y/N.” He said in a grumpy tone, a groan leaving his lips when you ran over to hug onto him.

“Thank you, dad.”

You certainly kept Levi on his toes and always gave him headaches to the point where he would miss the times you were young, adorable, didnt argue back, cuddling into him as you slept instead being a pain in the ass teenager but he wouldn’t have it any other way.

.

.

Erwin:

Erwin had somehow ended up at the scene. After wall Maria had fallen, they went through to try and find any survivors and that’s when his laid upon you. You were in your crib, quiet and completely unharmed.

Both of your parents were nowhere in sight and he had feared that they’ve been eaten by the Titans. He didn’t want to take you in, he had tried to fight the urge to have his emotions connected to his job but once he lifted you up in his arms, your big eyes instantly melted his heart.

After that, you grew up under his roof and under his supervision. It had taken him years for him to be comfortable enough to tell you that he wasn’t your real father and that your real parents had died, you were around 16 when he first sat you down and told you.

But that didn’t change the love you had for your father, you were very close with him and he made sure to be the best he could be, better than his dad at least.

Since you had lived with Erwin, you were always around the scouts and the cadets, you even had a small crush on Jean and once your father found out, he definitely started playing the overbearing dad to the point where he would watch you closely and even told the scouts to not entertain you.

That really didn’t stop you nor Jean from being friends and even flirting here and there but Jean would get scared every time Erwin would give you that deadly look.

After that, he tried to keep you away from the cadets/scouts and gave you more chores and stuff to do like go into town to shop, to do things where it would be far from the cadets and he would even force you to eat in his office with him instead with the others, it had gotten on your nerves but you were smart enough to not talk back and defy him in anyway, Erwin can definitely be harsh with punishments and treat you like a cadet.

But Erwin also was too soft when it came to you, he wouldn’t do anything to hurt you or make you hate him because you grew up to be a well grounded person, you grew up around the sweetest and smartest guy from the scouts and you learned hell of a lot from him.

“I seen you with Jean today.” Erwin spoke as he ate his food and you tried to avoid the topic, acting as if you were just asking him questions.

“I was just asking him where the cleaning supplies were, he had them last.” You cleared your throat, the little lie he can easily see right through.

“You don’t have to lie to me, I raised you better than that, Y/N.” He raised his eyebrow, giving you another chance to tell the truth.

“Sorry, dad.” You mumbled, picking at the food on your plate to keep yourself distracted from not making eye contact with him.

“Look, I hate to be the bad guy here. I didn’t want you to be so involved with the scouts like this but I guess it was unavoidable when we live here. I just don’t want you to involve emotions when it’s not promised that he’ll make it back alive every mission.” Erwin had to be nice, only for your sake but deep down he wish he could lock you away from all the cadets.

“You’re acting as if I’m about to marry him.” You snort out a laugh, looking up at him and he chuckled.

“Certainly not, that would be over my dead body before I allow that to happen.” He admitted, making you furrow your eyebrows.

“You’re so dramatic. I’m not dating Jean.” You rolled your eyes, he was always dramatic you thought. He always watched over you like a hawk and you never really understood why when you were perfectly safe living inside the base.

But deep down Erwin always feared that he would end up losing you. Even though he always told himself, no emotions or personal feelings when it came to joining the scouts and becoming commander but now his life revolved around you, making sure you were safe, healthy and happy above all but what he also feared the most is that he won’t make it home one day to you and that’s why he’s always so loving and over protective.

That’s why he constantly wants to spend time with his only child, he didn’t want you to feel how he felt when his father disappeared. So when it came to you hanging out Jean a little too much, the father instinct kicked in and he tried to get between, afraid of losing you to not only Titans but to another man.

.

.

.

I hopeeeeee this turned out good for you🥺🤧 feel free to send in more requests.

• Main Masterlist •

• AOT Masterlist •

[deleteddewewted]

Hello! How are you, and I have a request if you wish to do it. So I was thinking of a College AU with Shinsou working there as a part-time employee, then one day fem! reader comes in and at first he is like “Pfft whatever” but then he brings dropping his tsunade behavior and beings growing soft for her while he got to know her and he has seen her rescue a kitten in which he asked to help co-parent their child. He is doing it to get to know her more because he fell for her, but she is a bit oblivious when it comes to ✨feelings✨. I thought this would make a cute HC/ Drabble, however you wish to do it, of how their relationship began to bloom at the local coffee shop.

AAAAHHHH!!!! YES!

Happy Birthday to Shinsou Hitoshi!💜

The most adorable, handsome, and overall best purple headed boy on the show (Fuck off Mineta).

To Take Care of a Stray: Shinsou Headcanons

Barista! Shinsou x F! Reader

FLUFF

As any college student would tell you, cheap caffeinated drinks were a must.

Coffee specifically was a must.

Shinsou was honestly debating if he needed his 3rd cup of coffee that morning or if he could just wing it and go on with an empty tank.

He procrastinated when it came to his assigned project, plus his project partner ditched him, so he was practically all alone figuring his shit out.

And thats how he found himself working at his local coffee shop.

He hated every single customer that would come in at any hour of the day that he work on.

They all demanded his attention and honestly, some days he wished he could just scream in their faces that "No, i don't give a fuck about your pet bird speaking back to you. I'm only here to make you your coffee and take your money."

The cheap coffee was worth it though, so he keeps the complaining to a minimum.

Retail is honestly a "no reward" type of job. The amount of entitlement that some people have baffles him at times.

Around his second year in college he ends up working the late shift to make some extra cash. It also meant less people coming in and demanding an overly complicated drink. Score!

The sound of the rain pouring down helped calm his nerves and allowed him to relax for moment before the door of the shop swung open.

"Oops, sorry. Didn't mean to do that." The first time you walked into the shop you accidentally pulled the door with too much force that it ended up slamming into the wall.

Shinsou immediately didn't like you.

Who the fuck was this woman?

You went up the counter and told him your order taking out your money and handing it to him.

Clean and simple. Nothing special.

Then you came back again a few days later. That really fucked with him.

Most customers came in and never bothered to talk to him. He wanted their money while they wanted the shitty coffee they sold. Easy, right?

Nope, not with you apparently. You came in and asked about his day, how his studies were going, and if anything interesting happened in the shop.

He would respond with brief answers and immediately ignored you afterwards.

You were just so annoying.

..Ok, maybe not.

You were funny, the way you fumbled and played it off as you being intentional.

The way your mouth would widen into a smile anytime he spoke back to you.

You weren't overly energetic, nor overly happy. You were just nice, nice to him.

He wasn't use to that.

You fascinated him just because you existed and he wanted to learn more about you.

He got his chance on the 5th time you came in.

You usually came in at a specific time, always when there was barely any customers, but today you didnt' show up at all.

He wont admit it but he got concerned and would keep looking at the clock on the wall and back to the door of the coffee shop.

When you finally came in, you had scratches on your hand and on your cheek.

"What the fuck happened to you?" He leaned onto his hand that was placed on the counter top. His body relaxed and only showed boredom.

In reality he was terrified, you had scratches on your hands and red streaks too. Why?

"Oh, i was just- i fell into a bush." You gave him a smile that made his heart flutter and legs go weak.

He was so happy he was leaning on the counter because he hadn't he would have fallen onto the floor.

Your smile just had that affect on him.

"How stupid can you be? Look were your going next time."

"Aww, thanks sir!"

Good mood was gone. He told you not to treat him like your friend, thats not what you both are.

...But he really hated that you took that very literally and didn't bother to at least call him by his last name.

"Hmm." He gave you your usual and answered the questions you had for him that day.

You started to come in 4 times a week and every time you did he would notice new scratches on you.

The scratches weren't that bad, he thought maybe you were one those "adventures" types, but the red marks were concerning him.

When he would ask you about them you always had a different excuse for them.

"My backpacks straps are bit rough."

"I placed my arm wrong on the table"

It was this or that but never a concrete answer.

It was happening every time you came in so something had to be wrong.

He gathered up the little cuarage he had and decided to ask you what you were doing.

"Why do have so many scratches on you?" You werent expecting him to be so blunt but you happily told him to meet you after his shift at the nearby alleyway.

He was suspicious of you but he was also curious, he desperately needed answers because the concern for your wellbeing was getting to be too much for him.

He followed your instructions and walked towards the alleyway you directed him to.

When he turned the corner he saw the most beautiful scene in the world.

You were surrounded by cats...and you were giving them food.

He could die happily then and there.

"W- this is why you show us with scratches all over you!?" You nodded but got up and walked over to a cardboard box that was tucked under a bigger box.

You told him to follow and when he crouched down to see what was in it he saw two huge eyes staring back at him.

"You've been- this little thing is the reason for your scratches?"

"Yep!"

He laughed at you and helped you feed all of the cats.

When the two of you finished up, you picked up the box that the small kitten was tucked in and gave it a pat on the head.

"What are you going to do with the kitten?" Shinsou asked you.

"Well, i wish i could take it with me but i don't think i'd be able to take care of it since i work early in the morning and have classes late at night."

Shinsou's mind started planning.

He really liked you and wanted to be around you more often.

Shit, if he was brutally honest he had a crush on you.

"Well, i have classes early morning while i work at night. So...why don't we co-pa-... i mean co-care for the little guy?" He knows his ears were red, he knows his face was starting to turn red as well.

But he wasn't about to admit that he really wanted you to say "yes".

"Uh, ok. Sure!"

Shinsou was over the moon with this and it was all going so perfectly as well.

The kitten would spend the mornings with you and in the afternoons the two of you would meet up to take care of it together.

You both decided to name the kitten Mieko.

""Beautiful blessing child", thats a cute name! Why do you want to call him that?"

"Because...i want to- y-you idiot. Stop asking so many questions!" You just laughed at him and gave him a pat on the shoulder.

Shinsou melts.

Shinsou would bring the kitten with him to work since his boss had a soft spot for animals.

Imagine how exited he was when you first invited him into your own apartment.

"You have your own place? Color me impressed."

"Thanks Shin." Shinsou blushed a little at the nickname. It had been over a month that you both agreed to take care of the kitten together.

The more time he spent with you the more he fell.

"I hope you like the umm...book." This was another thing that started after the two of you began to co-parent the kitten. He would bring you gifts and act like it meant nothing.

Reality is that he was courting you.

He expected you to make a comment on his gifts but you glossed over them like nothing.

It was getting on his nerves.

"Aah, hey. Do you want to take Mieko out for a walk...again."

"Was that a question or a demand?" You laughed at him

You made it look easy with how much you make him blush.

The more time you both spent with each other, the more Shinsou realized he was truly in love with you and wanted you to be by his side.

But he was facing a problem. You.

You wouldn't pick up on the hints he was dropping on you. His interest on you.

So one day he decides to just tell up upfront if you would like to go on a date with him.

"Hey Shin, do you want to go on a date with me?"

Shinsou. exe has stopped operations

"W-wha-"

"I'm joking buddy! But seriously do you want to go out to eat? I think Mieko would-"

"W-WHaT!? F-fuck no!" That upset you because you thought he might like free lunch.

"You could've just said no." He was losing you, again.

Fuuuuuuuck!!!!!

"N-no wait! What i wanted to say was umm, would you like to go out with me? Like a date! N-not like friends."

You both just stared at each other for a moment, the silence only making the situation worse.

"...Sure."

Mieko, your child, just blinked at the two of you.

"These two ridiculous humans are my parents, great." At least this lead to Shinsou moving in with you and Mieko having a permanent home now.

Double the pats for the two new people in your home, double the purring sounds, double the angry and grouchy cats begging for your attention.

Who wold trade this? You got to cuddle with the two most adorable people in this world.

"I'm not fucking adorable Y/n!"

"Shush Toshi or you're not getting cuddles and kisses."

"....fine."