#i wish everyone was young again | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

a-god-in-ruins-rises · 2 years ago

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it’s weird seeing people who were young adults in my childhood being old people now.

because people look “young” for a pretty long time. like from birth to adolescence your body changes dramatically all the time. but once you reach young adulthood you look /basically/ the same for like a couple decades. like from like 20 to 40.

but then once you hit 40 people start look /old/. they get wrinkles and grey hair and sagging skin and stuff.

so when i’m a kid (say 7 years old) i’m watching some movie where there’s an actor who is, at the time, 20 years old. once i’m 17 that actor is 30. he’s basically going to look the same. then when i’m 27 he’s going to be 40. now when i see him (for the first time in 5+ years because he hasn’t been in many movies) all of a sudden the dude looks like a middle aged man.

it’s quite shocking to me. i have these images in my mind of certain celebrities from my childhood as timelessly youthful because throughout /my/ youth (really, my entire life so far) they seemed to never age. but then one day they show up on a screen in front of me looking like my father and the illusion is shattered. suddenly i’m made painfully aware of how much time has actually passed.

#same thing happens with my parents too tbh #they looked so young all my life #and like they still mostly look like themselves #but sometimes i'll look at them and maybe it's the way the light hits them or something #but suddenly their age really shows #my father is no longer the man who used to play football with me when i was 16 #literally running circles around me #he moves slowly now and he's always tired and aching #it fucks with me man #i wish everyone was young again #i'm even starting to notice it in myself #i was looking at old pictures of me from high school #fucks me up

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teaboot · 30 days ago

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Sometimes at work it's not my place to tell people the things I want to say, and I find I often go home at the end of the rougher days to stand blankly in my shower and tell myself over and over what I wish I could pass on.

This accomplishes very little, and mostly just gives me a tension headache, but through it all I think I've narrowed myself down to a few solid things I'd like to tell people the most.

You can't change people. Not permanently, not for anythig. You can support them, encourage them, love them, give them tools and opportunities and resources, but you can't make them change. They can change themselves if they want to, but they have to want to, and they have to want it for themselves, because they're the only one that's certain to be with them forever.

For better or worse, you make your own choices, and blaming bad choices on others doesn't only work to absolve you of responsibility- it also robs you of control. Because if you say you only did something because I did something, then you arent only shifting blame- you're admitting that you cannot control yourself, that you cannot truly make choices for yourself, that other people can control you- and as long as you truly beleive that, you'll keep facing the same problems over and over. You'll keep letting others dictate your choices, because you'll beleive that they can, and you'll never be free.

White knights on horseback are from fairytales. Nobody can help you if ou're not willing to help yourself. To try, to put the dirty work in, to belive you're worth that effort- Act as though nobody is coming to save you. From a struggle, from pain, from bad relationships, from yourself. And when you do save yourself, because you will, because failure here isn't an option if you want to survive, you'll never find another dragon that can keep you prisoner.

Don't say anything to anyone that you wouldn't want them remembering forever.

Doing the right thing in bad circumstances is hard. It's the hardest thing. But if you make the choice to do that hard thing anyways, despite your fear, you'll go on the rest of your like knowing that you're the sort of person who did something.

The present only seems the hardest because the past I over and the future hasn't happened.

There's so much joy ahead of you, the kind you can't possibly understand until you see it yourself.

The responsibility of consequences is often disguised as the power of permission. "I won't do this if you help me", "I'll work on my anger if you do this for me", "I promised you I'd quit, but can I have just one?". The unspoken question is, "Can it be your fault if this goes badly?"

You cant make someone love you the way you need to be loved. Someone can love you very much and still be bad for you, even if you love them very much in return. Two people can love each other very, very much, and try their very best, and still be wrong for each other.

Sometimes being near to someone changes you, even in good ways, and the people you become don't fit together as well as the people you were.

Caring takes work. Even if it's real. Especially if it's real. And the most important gestures aren't the grand, poetic, songs-and-flowers-and-tears moments; they're getting out of bed even though you don't want to. Paying attention to things you don't enjoy. Scrubbing pans, or opening a window, saying "thank-you", or helping carry groceries into the house. The small things fill the big things- without the small, boring, mediocre things, big things feel hollow.

Thrre is honour and dignity in humble work.

If you are a cruel and spiteful person, then you will find every place you visit to be full of the same cruel, spiteful people. This is not because the world is as cruel as you, but because everywhere you are, you will be disliked. This is the curse that comes with being persistently cruel and spiteful.

If you are a kind and ppsitive person, you will repeatedly encounter kind and positive people, because as they grow familiar with you, they will be happier to have you near. This is the reward of being a kind and positive person.

When splitting paths with loved ones, briefly or forever, aim for your last words to always be "I love you".

#I'm still so young and ignorant #but I wish someone had told ME these things before I had to learn them #And now when shit goes south and everything is over and calm again the same things just roll though my head #Over and over and over #It's like everyone I meet has the same 3 problems and its ruining their lives #I just want to take everyone I meet by the shoulders and shake them #I KNOW why this is happening to you #Do you realize you can be better?#Do you realize you can do it?#Aren't you terrified of wasting your life like this?#*I* want to be happier #*I* used to be so much worse than I am #And I don't have it all figured out #But if we all decide to help ourselves then it'll be that much easier to help each other #Right?#It's so hard to lift dead weight #You need to kick against the waves with me #You need to WANT to float #Do you understand #Ugh it's 6am #This has been your overdramatic midnight ramble #Imma grill me a cheese and go back to bed #Blaurfhgh

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bunnieswithknives · 3 months ago

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I feel bad for neglecting Hazel so much, I do have many thoughts about her.. and also a mermaid au that im probably not going to do anything with

#fop #fairly oddparents #fop a new wish #fairly oddparents a new wish #hazel wells #fop hazel #fop dev #dev dimmadome #art #digital art #doodles #I wish Hazels parents were more flawed tbh...#Like I get why they wanted to have them be good rep so that young people could know what a good family is supposed to look like #but it felt like every time there was an opportunity to have them do something genuinely flawed-#they would perfectly sidestep it before it even became a problem #I really enjoyed the first episode because it showed a hint of a very unique emotional issue Hazel had related to having a therapist mother #The idea that she has to be mature all the time #constantly living around therapy speak makes her feel like she isnt allowed room to breathe #Feeling unable to express her emotions without someone there giving advice that she isnt ready for yet #just small things!#She feels so pressured to be emotionally mature all the time BECAUSE she gets praised for it #maybe im projecting everyone always tell me I was so mature for my age...#But like I really really wanted to see that from her!!#And then after that episode it doesnt even come up again #The only other episode that features the moms job as a conflict is the one where she wants to spend more time with her #which is a fine conflict I guess but it still ends with her saying all the perfect things #I wanted Markus to be more of a genuine threat too. even if he didnt actually do anything having him be more looming would have been nice #I feel like they mostly forget hes a para scientist most of the time idk.#I just felt like his interactions could have been more unique #Maybe he will be in future seasons idk

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abrahamvanhelsings · 3 months ago

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"goodsir is neoliberalism bc he tried to kill those guys blah blah blah" they kidnapped him and then they made him cut up men to be consumed as an act of control and pure humiliation by threatening to kill probably the last man he still liked in that party, forcing him to be complicit in an act he is viciously against, and to be complicit in the survival of the very men who betrayed the whole expedition and who are using him like a tool. and then the guy he's trying to protect comes up to him to sob and monologue at him about cannibalism and religion and acts of survival and belief as some kind of justification for the fact that he's an absolute pussy ass bitch who'd rather lie down and take it than stand up in the face of acts and circumstances he finds abhorrent. and goodsir was supposed to not be a cunt abt that? lol

#it's so important that in ep 1 we see him trying to argue with stanley bc he doesn't want to cut into young bc he asked him not to #and stanely is like. cut into him you loser. and like he does it but he really doesn't like it bc young specifically asked for the opposite #it's desecration of his last wishes #and then in the mutineers camp he is forced to cut into someone again when he absolutely does not want to #he doesn't want to be complicit in the cannibalism and he doesn't want to help the mutineers #which hickey knows. so he uses the act of cutting up the bodies as an act of humiliation #just as stanley standing there like a hardass doing fuck all except be an ass only you know. worse.#so often when goodsir tries to do what he thinks is right someone with more power tries or does prevent him to do so #and the comparison to stanley burning everyone as a mercy kill doesn't hold up for me bc at that point so much just has not happened yet #completely different situations. at carnivale stanley has lost hope where everyone else still has at least some of it #at mutiny camp there's a couple men who betrayed everyone else out of arrogance and selfishness #and hickey gets off on humiliating those who he thinks think are better than him. hodge for his previous position. goodsir for his morality #like goodsir was not needed to cut into those bodies. and he knows he isn't he deadass says that.#the only reason hickey makes him do it is bc he needs to humiliate him.#brother id be so fucking mad id start killing everyone too #the terror #harry goodsir #it's like listen i get where the argument is coming from. but also i think this is a very understandable thing to do from his perspective

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altruistic-meme · 2 years ago

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once again thinking about how the fandom treats Kristina like she’s the devil incarnate and often refuses to see the same amount of depth in her as they do the other characters

once again thinking about how there are less than 25 fanfics on ao3 currently tagged “Good Parent Kristina” and over 100 tagged “Bad Parent Kristina”

once again thinking about how i can hardly ever find a fic, even that isn’t under the bad parent tag, that doesn’t have Kristina acting like a horrible terrible villain

once again thinking about how just because the way that Kristina behaves isn’t “Perfect Ideal Mother” this means that she must not love her children at all and will actively never choose their happiness or ever consider their feelings

once again thinking about how Linda’s problems parenting are constantly ignored just because we do see her show affection to her kids, and apparently that’s the only thing that’s needed to make a good parent and any absence of this makes you a terrible parent and person

once again thinking about how Ludvig shows little interest in understanding Wilhelm, actively ignores what he says at the table, never speaks up for him, and yet the fandom would constantly rather make him a perfect and loving parent over Kristina, who we see doing what she thinks is best to protect her son, implying that she fought with the royal court to make sure Wilhelm would stay heir (something that, despite his outbursts, Wilhelm has said he wanted, if only to honor Erik), and specifically stating that she loves him and has no problem with his queerness, or with him liking Simon, aside from the scandal of the video.

once again thinking about how people will give August the benefit of the doubt, talk about how his character is deep and complex and how much they love that about his character, but absolutely refuse to see any deeper meaning or possible feelings in what Kristina does because clearly she’s just a horrible person and there is no depth to her at all

once again thinking about how much of my own mother i see in Kristina and how much it pains me to see people saying that Kristina is an irredeemable villain who only exists to bring pain to her son because i know my mother loves me even when she makes mistakes and says things that hurt sometimes, because i know my mother is also human and thus not perfect.

#once again thinking about the rampant misogyny of it all #sorry im just in my feelings #like i said i will personally fill the good parent kristina tag by myself if i have to #but i wish i didn't. i wish more people would contribute.#some of these points come from avie who i have had a logn conversation about this with sdhfskdhgksh #ily #anyway back to writing #i won't tolerate hate on this post btw everyone is entitled to their opinions and i respect your right to HAVE an opinion #but quite frankly i don't respect the opinion that kristina is a terrible awful human and a horrible mother so #i will be blocking you if you bring that to this post #i AM however willing to have a conversation if you wanna message me about it and we can talk #anyWHO #young royals #queen kristina #prince wilhelm #shh ac

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alexcharmsyou · 3 months ago

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PLEASE HELP ME COPE WITH FINISHING MY FIRST WATCH THROUGH OF SHAMELESS PLEASE I NEED ALL THE CARE AT THIS VERY MOMENT

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longagoitwastuesday · 2 months ago

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Going through the Utahim.e tag had me checking several times if at some point I had clicked on the G.ojo/Utahim.e one instead

#It's mainly the ship and mainly ship art. Very pretty btw. There's people with gorgeous styles there #There isn't even a lot of x reader fics haha I guess people don't want to bang Utahime?#Anyway... lowkey wished this happened with Ijichi lol #I so wanted Ijichi to mention or even hint at a mention of Gojo one last time like they did with Nanami #If nothing else for the weight of it all. The weight of feeling your youth dying piece by piece alongside the people who made it out #And everything it implies #Art of Shoko dealing with Gojo's death even in a cold way always strikes hard for that motive but I always love it #with pretty much everyone of those years. There was one piece I saw once that was not explicitly or necessarily romantic about Utahime #being hit by Gojo's death and I don't recall exactly how it was (I think I may have queued it?)#but it moved me more than any piece more clearly emotional that I had seen before #I don't know. I thought it held the potential of that. That weird uncomfortable heartbreaking feeling #of hearing bad news about old friends or classmates and how it makes you realise the weight of time #They suffered and accident. They tried to kill themselves. They are very sick. Their sibling or parent died. And you knew these people #You saw them daily for years. Maybe you weren't close but you knew these people. They cut my bangs when I was eight and I punched them #I tripped over them playing hide and seek and we both lost at the same time. We both hated each other's favourite teacher #They borrowed my pen once and then never gave it back. I once drenched them at the fountain after PE and it was winter but they laughed #Their mother got mad though. Now she's dead. We were made to sit together in French class in middle school. They loved to keep their hair l #Now they're sick and have lost their hair #Their little sibling was so annoying always trying to make us play with them during recess too. It was kinda cute. Now they're dead #I don't know. That kind of stuff #Utahime boosts Gojo and then he dies. Shoko opens him up to make a tool of his body #Ijichi accompanies another kid to clean after him in the meanwhile. And then the realisation hits. He is dead #He was annoying. He was my friend. He was so rude #He had such a sweet tooth. He laughed so loudly. He used to lean over people when talking with them #We were kids once. We are here now. He isn't here anymore. Some of us haven't been here anymore for a long while. It's been so long #He was still young. I am still young. We felt so old. At times it feels as if the time back then didn't happen at all.#And now he's dead and oh it's true he was so annoying but he also had such a sweet tooth. I forgot. What do I do with this memory now?#At times it felt as if the time back then didn't happen at all but then at times it shone through. He brought it back #He asked me a favour knowing I wouldn't betray his secret. He still teased the same way. He still leaned on people. But now he's dead #I don't know if I'm explaining myself well xD I think it's a pretty common emotion when it happens.Oh I forgot to censore words again sorry

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callixton · 11 months ago

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oh i am on the Brink of a mental breakdown. and like a real one. i am going to feel so so fucking terrible and guilty if i don’t go to the first week of mac rehearsal bc i need to recover but i am also getting the sense that i Need to recover. i have never been this burnt out or genuinely terrified of starting a new semester in my life.

#we go back to campus a week early for mac. to be clear #and god they’ll be long days and they’ll be physically emotionally and mentally draining and i genuinely dont know if i can take that #but i am also going to be missing SO much time. and i won’t be there to support the people who i need to #i have also. been thinking a lot about how i’m scared that i think so much abt death bc i’m gonna be one of those people #who seem even more than everyone else like they have a finite time and then they die young #and then my mom compared me to jonathan larson tonight #so maybe that’s some sort of sign that i need to slow the fuck down #i am crying rn. for myself. which happens about three times a year #and yeah one is usually during winter break so we’re on schedule #i don’t know. idk!! i don’t know what to do here #and i still have to do my fucking scene prep for tomorrow #bc i was talking my mom about it and i really needed support which she was giving and then she has to leave for five seconds #and when she came back the entire conversation was just about her own problems again which we’ve already talked about every fucking night bc #- you can’t leave conversations with her and i hate when she fucking drunks i hate it i hate it #i am Not Well. i’ve sort of been avoiding admitting to myself just how badly #but man. i can push through anything until i drop but when i start wishing that i’ll drop so i have an excuse for a break….. not good #ted talks #the west wing

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steviescrystals · 7 months ago

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i seriously need to get a new job and start making money again asap bc i cannot keep living at home much longer it’s driving me insane

(wrote an entire essay in the tags without meaning to oops)

#i feel so isolated from everything bc i’m not in school rn but all my friends are and 90% of the ones who are in state go to the same school #so they’re all in the same town and here i am 45 minutes away #i never get invited to anything bc 1) my friends all tend to make plans really last minute #and 2) if we want to go out and drink - which we usually do bc that’s the stage of life we’re in rn - i’d have to stay the night with #someone bc i absolutely cannot afford a 45 minute uber home and most of my friends don’t like staying over / having people stay over #so i have basically no social life and it’s only gotten worse in the past couple months since i got laid off from my main job #not only did i love that job but i loved my coworkers and work was pretty much the only time i left the house and interacted with people #and without that job i can’t even do the little solo things i used to do to cheer myself up like go see a movie #or even just go for a long drive bc i’m broke (as in i have $17 in cash to my name and am like $1000 in debt rn)#so all i do is rot in bed all day and apply for jobs that i’m overqualified for yet still don’t get hired #i barely even leave my room bc i avoid my family which just makes me feel guilty bc i love my family #but they get on my nerves so easily and most of the conversations i have with my mom end in her lecturing me about something and me crying #and on top of everything it’s just straight up embarrassing to be unemployed and completely directionless about college and living at home #logically i know i’m still very young and it’s common to live at home when you’re 20 but literally none of my friends do #i had a couple friends who lived at home for the first 2 years after high school and went to community college but by now they’ve moved out #and they’re all at universities and either graduating this year or next year meanwhile the earliest i could possibly graduate is in 2 years #i should be finishing my junior year rn but i’ve only completed my freshman year #i hated the school i was at and planned on transferring sophomore year but long story short that didn’t work out #even longer story short i ended up doing a semester each at 2 different community colleges and failed all my classes both times #and took 2 semesters off so now i’m a full 2 years behind and even though my freshman year was miserable #i’m starting to wish i stayed at that school anyway bc at least i would be at a university and accomplishing something #plus theres a huge difference between staying at home for a couple years after high school then moving out later #vs living on your own right away then having to move back home after you’ve already experienced having your own space #and on top of everything i have an older sister who’s a literal genius and graduated last year #and a younger sister who just finished her freshman year at the school i hated but she loves it and got perfect grades and made friends #so they’re both thriving and here i am living with my mom and my 13 year old brother and just completely failing at everything #i’m just so miserable and obviously moving out again and going back to school wouldn’t magically fix everything #but at least i would feel like my life was going somewhere and i wasn’t getting left behind by everyone i know #i just have no idea how to move forward and i feel like ever since high school not a single thing has gone the way i wanted it to #vent

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ronnieweirdo · 6 months ago

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How does thorny lips such as yours,

House the most beautiful smile?

One that made me believe your lies.

One that made me sad when it died.

I suppose this is what happens.

When you work for that smile.

Waiting to see the same for the heart.

All while losing yourself.

#Poetry #sad poem #when you think the person has ur back but was actually lying.#If only i was a little bit more smart #My sister told me to not give everyone too much #i thought she was wrong in stopping me from giving him anything #i do wish him a good life though #i hope you like it #i also hope that not many people go through this #but then again #to be old and wise you need to be young and stupid #just wish that stupid wouldnt hurt this much or drain me like this #have a nice day #life lessons #emotions #mistakes #sigh #sighhhh

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dockaspbrak · 4 months ago

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Clock keeps ticking and the date keeps changing even when i beg it not to

#ughhh #i miss my boy #lifes greatest indignity is that it wont stand still!!!!!#do i miss him young or old when he was sick. is it cruel to miss him in the last few years? is there an age that was emblematic #or did he exist as a conglomeration of many ages that formed his identity to me #and i miss living my life alongside his - no matter what age really #i miss everyone i was ever friends with. i can do nothing with that #they arent rhe same people i was friends with. strangers to me. if anyone came back again....;;#wish i could bash my head in like longlegs did. i cant take this anymore;#em yaps

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iniziare · 5 months ago

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Tag drop: Seele (Honkai: Star Rail). Listen, I used to write her and I miss her a bit, and also: there's Belobog people around. And also, well, she's much more interesting than people give her credit for. Also, prepare for some 'rewriting', because Belobog's pacing in specific ways kind of blew a little bit much.

#seele. [ we tell them “things will be better tomorrow.” everyone knows it's a lie; but it gets them to sleep with some hope. ]#seele: ic. [ he always says “humanity's endless conflicts”; but you don't get peace by offering everything up on a silver platter. ]#seele: inquiries. [ that's not the only thing you won't have heard of down here; princess. ]#seele: countenance. [ to all those thugs and gangsters in the underworld; i'm like a spectre always haunting them. ]#seele: introspection. [ the chief's right. sometimes a sharp blade is the only way to get people to come to their senses. ]#seele: meta. [ she got used to people losing their homes. and she got used to people losing their lives. but crying alone was useless. ]#seele: little notes. [ they only eat half their meal; throw the rest away. do they know people below haven't got enough food to eat? ]#seele: wishes. [ where there's hope: there's the will to fight. ]#seele: etc. [ a young girl smiles subtly. “how? right here; right now; i am alone… but it feels... very lively.” ]#seele: underworld. [ what's more important than miracles; seele. is to protect people's hopes for miracles. ]#seele: overworld. [ oleg saw how a look of gloom passed over her tender face. “let's go back. i don't want to come back here again.” ]#seele: sampo. [ wildfire has countless issues on its place right now. we don't need a side order of koski. ]#seele: sampo. [ so we're there; now it's real. now that you have me; do you want me still? ] inominati.#seele: bronya. [ they go their separate ways: one stepping into the light; and the other into the shadows. until one day; they meet again.#seele: natasha. [ i learned quickly that tantrums won't get you anywhere. she knows how to give you a taste of your own medicine. ]#seele: oleg. [ i probably owe my life to the chief. ]#seele: hook. [ don't let her appetite for chaos fool you; i think that kid's going places. ]#seele: v. youth. [ everyone in the dark side of town knew that fearless homeless girl. everyone wanted to avoid that wild; stubborn rascal.#seele: v. underworld. [ just what we all need: more lies about a world that never was and never will be. ]#seele: v. present. [ can you imagine the consequences if we told the people what happened here? they'd be devastated. ]#seele: v. future. [ ... priorities? what do you mean? are you saying rebuilding the underworld isn't one of your “priorities”? ]

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perilegs · 7 months ago

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i pass pretty much all the time but hm. ive heard interesting stuff from drunk ppl i know who dont know im trans

#''haha when my bf was talking about you and i asked to see a picture he showed me one and i was like... is that right? bc i thought that was #a girl in that pic. i mean only bc i didnt expect him to have any girlypop friends haha''#yeah i mean that is an average thing to say and not mean or anything but it hits a bit different when im trans #i mean the person saying that didnt know and if they did they would have never said anything like that #but it's still a bit. hmmm.#also the topic of my looks came up and it's funny how everyone thinks i'm cute #i wish i could b masc hot but im fine with being cute. not everyone can look good the same way #but like it's so common for the only compliment transmascs get being ''cute'' for various reasons but i think in my case it's just my #wavy hair and slight babyface and round features #which yeah ok whatever i'm still young - ive got plenty of time to start looking less like a boy and more like a man #as in even if i was a cis guy id look pretty much like this #though! im only 2 years on t so i cant wait what the future holds for how i'll look :3c #well almost 2 and a hlaf but yknow #also i have a slight. can i say this. ''tranny voice'' which. slay. but i was told i ''sound like a femboy'' which #once again super funny that ppl say that stuff bc they genuinely cant tell im trans #the only reason i pass is bc i get read as [justin mcelroy voice] kinda faggy #oh that guy over there with wide hips and feminine manners and voice and small feet and hands [compared to cis men] with an apparently cute #face who doesnt seem to know anything about stereotypical guy stuff? thats a cis man #and i love that #but also one of these ppl is not cis #if you saw me irl you'd know im insanely easy to clock for trans people #but yeah whatever im just amused by all this it's kind of fun having ppl not know im trans #but also i have a new friend who doesnt know and i think i should let him know at some point if it comes up bc idk man. it feels like im #living a secret life or something. like obviously no one has the right to know im trans but. i can make the choice of wanting someone toknow #but also hes my only guy friend who lives in this city. well technically not the only one i have another friend but we never hang out irl.#anyways i dont want to ruin our broship #i dont think itd get ruined and if it did itd just mean whatever but im still scared #agh idk #leevi talks

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cuteniaarts · 8 months ago

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Fanny, my sweet, beautiful girl

17.11.2012 – 14.04.2019

#my art #artists on tumblr #I cannot accept that it has been 5 years already #I know covid messed with everyone’s sense of time but it simultaneously feels so much longer and so much shorter than that #exactly five years ago I was holding onto my mom for dear life and sobbing as we watched lilo and stitch together #not the best movie to watch when you’ve just lost your first ever pet you know #and then I cried myself to sleep at the next morning we never mentioned her again #I know it’s because it was way too painful for everyone involved. but I do wish I was allowed to process that grief properly #instead of bottling it up and pretending everything was okay until I was reminded of her #feeling like my heart was being shattered over and over again every single time #well anyway. enough of that. I’ve allowed myself a nice long cry today and got most of it out of my system #and once I was feeling okay I decided to draw her #and I can count the number of times I’ve drawn animals on one hand so.. I’m not too sure about the result #but it felt like to commemorate her in some way.#so yeah. here she is. my dear girl. the best dog in existence. she was always so affectionate and kind #which I didn’t always appreciate bc of how young I was. when you’re a kid it feels like pets will live forever #never barked. never bit anyone. her only crime was chewing on my mlp and lps toys that I left out on the floor #but I’m grateful she did that. it taught me not to leave my toys lying around and to clean up after myself #she really was taken from me way too soon. ideally she could still be alive right now. but I’ve been down the road of guilt and regret #there was nothing I could do. I was a child. I can only hope that she knew she was loved right until the very end #even if I didn’t know how to show it properly. and great. now I’m tearing up again #I suppose it’s unavoidable. April 12th will always be a melancholy day. and maybe that’s not such a bad thing #it’s good to have a day when I can freely remember her and cry if I need to. it’s healthy. it’s better than crying every day #she never liked it much when I cried. always tried to comfort me. that’s the kind of dog she was. I miss her so much #when I move apartments and get a dog of my own I’m getting a spaniel. just like she was #well. maybe a different colour so I don’t end up sobbing every time I look at it. but spaniels really are the perfect breed #I mean. cavaliers especially were bred for love and warmth. that’s just what I need. it will be nice to have someone waiting for me at home #and while I don’t necessarily believe in the afterlife… I do hope that Fanny’s watching over me #spiritually comforting me when I feel all alone in the world. it’s a nice thought for sure #and hopefully she won’t mind me getting another spaniel too much. it will be done in her honour after all. to make up for my past mistakes

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confirmed-for-trash · 8 months ago

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y'all can probably always tell when I'm left to my own literal and/or figurative devices for too long when I start textposting every damn day again

#i hung out with people yesterday and im still lonely and falling into depressive coping mechanisms again #so i come on here for the cheap easy dopamine #nobody to call on right now because we're entering the season in which everyone except me is booked to the fucking gills #sometimes i wish i was able to have kids just so i wouldn't feel so fucking left out of society #i live the life of a child because im not capable of living like an adult. but im too old to hang out with young people #so i get left out of everything.

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rooksnooks · 1 year ago

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Thank fucking god that the human body is 60% liquid because if there wasn't an explanation for how you could cut me open and find burning magma in there I would just die

#Thought life was good but NEVER FUCKING MIND BECAUSE THE ASSHOLE SPERM DONOR DIRTBAG HAD TO RUIN IT AGAIN #my mum and sister are EXHAUSTED from being outside the whole of today and this dickwad piece of shit goes and invites a family of SIX (6!!)#hosting and being around people to study for the biggest exams of my life!! ever fucking mind that people here because some BITCH wanted #to have a tea party with his ASSHOLE FRIENDS #Just trying to have one??? good??? day???#But this ASSHOLE has to go and ruin it for everyone whilst sitting on his ass and doing NONE of the labour he just volunteered us for #a family of SIX (6!!!!) to the house in less than twelve hours!!!!! A family of six visiting from overseas!!#A family of six I am not comfortable near my shit!!!! A family of six with young children!!! (and no hate on them they ain't done nothing)#And when I say young I mean my DOG is heavier than two of those kids for fucks sake!!!!!#he jumps on people and you know who is gonna get mad and scream about a dog going dog on people he invited over with 11 hours warning!!#This entire fucking house needs to be cleaned!! The dog needs to be wrangled!!!#The actually fucking backbreaking labour that is usually done over a week leading to an event like this needs to be done in 11 hours!!#And guess who is gonna sit his ass down on the couch and watch the critical-thinking-eroding-chinese-version-of-fox-news-on-youtube #on the TV my mother paid for??????#WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT??? WHY IS THIS BITCH SUCH A FUCKING ASSHOLE THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE HERE NOT SLAVES DICKWAD #I WISH HE HAD FALLEN AND BROKEN HIS NECK INSTEAD #FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU #I WANT HIM DEAD I WANT HIM GONE I WANTED ONE GOOD DAY BEFORE EXAMS IS THAT TOO MUCH FOR YOU PIECE OF SHIT?????

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