#i wish I knew what I was doing tho
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bunch of portraits
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#ryomen sukuna#megumi fushiguro#gojo satoru#nanami kento#choso kamo#nobara kugisaki#yuta okkotsu#fanart#crying im so tired....#busts aren't hard on their own but 8 of them ???#i should have stuck at 6 if i knew what was good fr me#but lucky fr choso n yuuta enjoyers i dont know whats good fr me and tacked on the extra 2 last minute#i did a bust piece waaay back in 2020 early jjk days and it was this crowd minus choso/yuuta so i wanted to like. do a kind of redraw#im happy choso n yuuta made the cut tho they r fun they look as tired as i feel#i've been having a lot of fun w the more semirealistic skin render so i wanted to stretch those muscles a bit more#took the better part of 3 days but u know i'm pretty happy w these i dont think i have a hard least favourite#fun game guess my favourite characters based on how i draw them it is Glaringly obvious 2 me#ik i said i dont have a least favourite but i certainly have A Favourite#uhhhh misc notes i tried rly hard to make sukuna's face look like yuuji's and only rly change the expression#i think i was successful??? i hope?????? like i didnt want to make him look like his own person as bad as that sounds#he is Wearing Yuuji that is Yuuji's Face#also i rly . wish there were more women . but as much as i like maki as a character i fr some reason don't find drawing her very fun ?#so nobara out here pulling her weight fr the girls my goat my queen <333
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Alright, so this is basically...an art dump for all the pics i drew when i was trying to draft the ending i wanted my Odile looping Au 'Like a Wheel Ever Turning' which...is not even SLIGHTLY how this fic is going to end now, but while figuring that out i still like draw all this and had to do SOMETHING with it.
So figured I'd post it and be like 'hey! fun Odile looping act 5 boss fight vibes not connected to anything else!' since like...that basic IS what they are at this point lol.
The one cool idea i loved that i think is now FIRMLY ditched is the act 5 boss fight starts when Odile uses wish craft to splinter herself into two halves.
The 'old/current' her that is meant to be her coldly logical side, and a younger 'copy' version, which is meant to be the childish irrational side...that is what's stopping her just shutting down the time loop because she can't figure out how to be happy with her friends leaving.
I mean, if you murder the part of you that WANTS the wish to come true, that's basically a 'get out of time loop free card' right? Right! Totally sound logic!
Yes the 'young' version of her firmly believes that she's real, and also also got memories going up to about age 21, and also that she ought to be in Ka Bue not HERE among these french weirdos.
Also yes again, a 'young' Odile is EXACTLY as unhinged about this as you'd expect a 21 year old to be upon finding out that apparently the 'real' her think murdering her is the correct solution to this problem!
The shift of the fight was meant to have the inverse 'colors' shift from one version to the other by the end, wrapping up with the point where the 'original' Odile is forced to have a heart to heart with the personification of her perceived 'worst' qualities.
Pretty sure the vibes for this ending was a lot more focused on the resolution of having deeply complex feeling about EXPRESSING emotion directly to other people. That along with a side helping of how isolating it is to be perceived as a 'real' adult such that you can't be weak enough to ask anyone for help. Because really if you can't even be that then why are you any different then when you were irritating mess of a youth?
Not saying any of that isn't still present in the story, but like...there is a LOT of other stuff going on, and those themes are now linked into many other ones too, and that's not even TOUCHING on how Loop's been...somewhat complicating my redrafting lol.
...Also I might have drawn/plotted this version before i knew about two-hats lol. THAT also is a factor.
Anyway! Still liked all of these enough to want to do SOMETHING with them, and figured this worked, so i could like map out my thoughts on them, even if i never got to write this.
#isat#in stars and time#isat odile#odile looping au#I might have written out like...way too many edgy and utterly disjointed notes for this fight too?#but none of THAT compelled enough for me to want to try and even reread it lol#drew all of this in fever state of creativity back in like september i think?#kept having the thought of 'oh i'll make SOME of it work in the main story'#HA no i didn't - that was the denial and wishful thinking talking#Like there was even a version where the 'young' odile had to do the whole final loop with the group#and that's what forced Loop to join them - to keep her alive no matter the 'other' her's attempts to kill her#while 'old' odile took the place of the king during that final run#'young' odile was DEEPLY weird at the rest of the group for the record - while they were also weirded out + low key endeared#Also before the even knew who the 'final battle' was against young odile HAD loudly declared she was willing to die for 'you weirdos' soooo#Ah to be young unhinged and realised people CAN love you despite that...and that apparently this is reason to commit a murder to AVOID#...if i had a nickle for everytime i wrote a odile looping au where she tried to murder herself#i'd have two nickles#which isn't a lot but ect ect#this one is WAY more serious with it tho lol#my art#like a wheel ever turning au
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true love is when you finish each other's sentences etc
#what we do in the shadows#wwdits spoilers#laszlo cravensworth#nadja of antipaxos#laszlo x nadja#ladja#look at them!!! they're SO smitten at first sight again <3 match each other's freak etc#loved this moment sm. but yeah god this entire scene was SO good tho. polycule at first sight <3#also they all look SO good here#this is me wishing i knew how to gif god i want to gif them so badly right now
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continuation of this
They ended up seeing reason and understanding that overworking themselves was not a solution to their emotional issues, all by themselves and with no outside intervention.
thanks you @graminos for the idea :DD
#cant believe ive never drawn wigglytuff and now hes on two posts in a row#love that guy#wish i knew...what is he...how do i write him hes such a pain#future trio#wigglytuf's guild#chatot#guildmaster wigglytuff#wigglytuff#dusknoir#grovyle#celebi#sunflora#not tagging everyone else tho maybe when i draw them more#im gonna take my experience with the graduation test and say wigglutuff would beat them harder than primal dialga#my art
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his fuckass loafers im losing it
#snap chats#ill take like ninety personal screenshots once he's available in-game i just ripped this from a skin showcase vid#see i dont totally hate the beard anymore now that its been rendered and i can see it better. id still prefer clean but whatever#he kinda cute all regal an lookin like rudolf from fire emblem he makin me giggle a lil 🥰 ok ill stop idk what came over me#they didnt wanna put him in chanel boots they knew i woulda made a comment .....#anyways. I CANT BELIEVE I GET WANDA AND MAGS SKINS FOR MY BIRTHDAY LIFE IS SO GOOD#my brother is not being subtle in the slightest in saying he'll get me the battlepass despite my protests so. LOL 💀#the past three weeks he be like So What Do You Want For Your Birthday 👁️👄👁️#and then we find out the skins dropping my birthday and he be like SO WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY 👁️👁️👄👁️👁️#LIKE GO AWAY STOP that so diabolical both of them are dropping this week tho .... i thought id have more time but no#marvels trying to kill me. beautiful woman and her cunty father thats so fucked up#i wish i could say this means i should play wanda more but the guilt id feel picking dps when 90% of the time we'd need a tank or support#just gotta bet he fastest hand in the west and have no guilt and pick dps ig ervkLEAJEAKL#anyways. im gonna go back to work FOCUS YOU FUCKER
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when Kenny comes back the Hangman anti hero babyface arc is going to shift in overdrive oh my god I’m so excited
#REMEMBER WHEN THE BUCKS SAID HANGMAN WAS THE BEST OF THE ELITE AND THAT THEY ALL KNEW IT#INCLUDING KENNY#GODDDD WHAT IF KENNY REMINDS HANGER OF THATTTTT#SCREAMMMM#tho i do wish ppl would stop telling him he’s wrong LOL he is justifiably Fucked Up#ANYWAY#gabbi’s wrestling liveblog#aew#aew dynamite#kenny omega#hangman page
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The Syd Poll
the topic of this poll is one that is frequently avoided in the pink floyd fandom, but inevitably one we all consider – our individual views on what we think caused syd's psychological struggles (and by extension, led to his departure from the band). I think that – at least in this neighborhood of tumblr – this is a conversation we are capable of having in a way that is civil, nuanced, and at least minimally disrespectful to syd.
So, to help facilitate this, here are some ground rules:
let's all assume we have a mutual understanding of the complexities of this. syd could never actually be reduced down to a poll, and all of our viewpoints are limited in various ways
the poll options just serve as just a conversation starter, and responses are not necessarily a statement of absolute beliefs
feel free to discuss as much or as little of your own perspective as you feel comfortable sharing.
in the case that debates break out, please try to assume good intent – and also demonstrate it (unless, for instance, someone is being blatantly insulting beyond a misunderstanding that needs correcting)
please do NOT vote if you are not actually a pink floyd fan with at least basic knowledge about what we're talking about here.
The options I've included below are not meant to be exhaustive, they are simply the "theories" that I have seen most commonly circulated. I have also decided not to include combinations. I'm fairly sure we'd all agree multiple factors were involved. Rather than make the poll too complicated, I ask you to instead select the one that you think is the "most" important to your viewpoint, and clarify further in your tags/comments as you wish.
so. here we go.
READ BEFORE VOTING ^^^^
(note of correction: "late-onset schizophrenia" should just be "schizophrenia". the typical timeline for onset of symptoms is late adolescence/early adulthood, so syd would've been well within that period at the time)
#pink floyd#syd barrett#//#I will sacrifice myself and go first with way too much detail. hopefully it will help other people feel more comfortable talking#I chose consensual use of psychedelics. mainly bc I am fairly certain that he suffered from severe hppd#it stands for 'hallucinogen persisting perception disorder' –speaking crudely its 'did too much acid and got stuck like that'#I do NOT expect this kind of oversharing from anyone else but the reason I think that is because -I- definitely have that#its comparatively mild but I notice a lot of the same kind of impacts.#I'm more prone to dissociation and overstimulation. it takes more mental energy to communicate. my perception plays a bit fast and loose.#(again. it's not -that- bad. and NO pity for me this was a completely predictable outcome that I DO think is a little funny) but digressing#I can clearly see how if those symptoms were significantly escalated it would be just like what was described by ppl who knew syd#I think its very unkind to refer to him as a “drug casualty”#but I'm fairly confident anyone who's done acid would say by about hour 8 of the trip “okay. yah. too much of this could do that to someone#in other words –although I'm pretty sure syd was also neurodivergent– I do think its at least possible that the lsd couldve been enough#I'm happy to talk more about any of this in asks/dms if anyone wants. genuinely very cool with discussing it#but anyway. that's my take – obviously based entirely on anecdotal evidence tho so take that with as many grains of salt as you wish
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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A lot of early concept stuff was expression/pose brainstorming - there’s the classic six Webkinz emotions (which, I learned have been largely pared down to just four after a point! Since they got rid of Dr. Quack’s role, there’s no more “sick” expression and most ‘Kinz’ tired and sad expressions are the same! >:0 What’s the point of having an easily editable puppet with the spaghetti code intact that you have to put an image there AnyWay and not make a slightly different expression!! H’f) as well as the main Sakura poses - so if I’m already making up expressions, why no go a little further! :D
One of the expressions I definitely needed up top was Mischievous - working with a cat, that’s the only logical conclusion really. I think it’s funny that she swerves the compliment only to pay it right back as well lol
The ticklish expression is one I’m still going back and forth on! I’m half tempted to have it be somewhere between happy and angry - maybe a mood gradient, starting out just positive and slowly moving into “Hey stop! >:0″ if it’s too many times in a row? It’s a thought haha
Similarly so, messing with her ears - bothering your pets is a very important element of socialization (lol)
As seen above, I’d reallyyy like to figure a way to have a dual-visual mood system - both the ‘Kinz body language/expression/emotion and a more exact stat bar. I’m still chewing on this idea a bit, no pun intended lol. That and click-and-drag with an actual image you can drag around your screen, hm and hm! Much to think about. Her face here turned out cute and funny haha, helped me push the expression more comedic
Much better :) Webkinz already has some well-known food dialogue, my favourite is probably “Mmm to the mmmax!” haha
Each low-mood would have their own emotion tied to it, but what about somewhere in the middle? I like the idea of the ‘Kinz getting bored if they’re left alone for too long! And little paw taps, showing off her embroidered paw pad haha ♪
#Doodles#Webkinz#Diamond#Ghostkinz#Ukadevlog#Diamond makes for an excellent concept art model#But y'already knew that haha she's featured a few times now! Plush or digital she's so cute#Of course these were made before her vectors! Had to start traditionally first and foremost!#All the bluesky stage so let's! see! what makes it to coding it lol#Some of these I even know how to do! :D The rest uhh we'll see :)#For now it's just the fun of Ideas >:3c Strong creative ideas cannot be fettered by realism! Lol#It'll be fun to see what makes it all the way to final! Heck I don't even know how much of what Actually Currently Finished will stay haha#I considered having the extra doodles under a cut but ehhh it's a cheat week it's fiiine it's not a big deal#How are we feeling on these mostly-unedited doodles haha - they're not too bad I think :)#The little intro in the first one haha - I went with my current in-game name even tho I use ''Willian'' for all my Ghosts this one included#It's a WillPlays but also not?? It's fine don't worry about it lol#Since pets are so centrally featured I gotta make sure they're good ahh#Smol actually came up with a great idea for face-clicks that aren't punches :3c So I'm gonna try that out sometime hehehe#It doesn't feel right to punch a 'Kinz! :'0 Bothering them is fine tho lol#So far I've thought up some ways to intentionally drop Happiness and Energy but I think Hunger would just have to be a waiting game#Maybe an activity of some kind? Not sure hmm#Anyway don't intentionally try to make your 'Kinz sick just to see the cute/sad blinking animations! That's mean!#(Do it I made the blinking animation soooo hard so every time they blink it's like she's struggling to keep them open ahhh)#I had the idea to have a run-away system if they're mistreated but hmmm dunno yet not sure#It really is fun to think of a more in-depth pet system ♪ I really like the many many features Webkinz Classic has!#The wide selection of pets and items and the room and clothes customization and games and like - there's a lot on offer!!#But it does really feel like the Interactions With Your Online/Plush Pet have fallen wayyy to the wayside :(#There's only extremely sparse locations you can even talk /to/ your pet anymore :( Not just as them like an avatar#I remember chatting with Sugar every time I logged on - I have to join a specific timed event just to wish Embroidery good luck anymore#Getting to chat is a big big reason I'm excited for this <3 It's /fun/ to chat with your plush! It makes them more real <3
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my brain is fried idk how to caption this i drew little nightmares characters again (i wanted to practice posing…,.)
#of course i snuck hunter in there again what do you want from me#i actually tried to draw him in a different angle too uhm that’s unheard of!!#he looks rlly cool#i wish i actually knew how to draw his head from a back angle tho#it’s so hard??? idfk why??? im the sole user of this hunter design and i don’t know how his design works???#ive been trying guys it’s only taken me 2 years to get his side profile decent#if it takes me another two years to get a back profile then ill just explode on the spot#little nightmares#little nightmares 2#little nightmares 3#little nightmares fanart#ln low#ln alone#ln six#ln mono#ln hunter
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some shippers when solas has had important relationships from thousands of years ago and he can't just forgive himself for failing those closest to him then and go "okie dokie!" when his wife tells him he can come back home
#dragon age fandom critical#solavellan#im sorry some of you are not serious he literally says in the cutscene i wish ur forgiveness soothed my faults but unfortunately#hes been on this path for CENTURIES before lavellan was even born like yes he would like to apologize to mythal#AND HE LEFT LAVELLAN CLUES BC SHE WANTED HIM TO TRACK HIM SHE WANTED HER TO STOP HIM#unfortunately sometimes you kinda need your best friend turned master turned opp to say it's ok#like she literally came in went well lolz we both fucked up teehee i release u from indentured servitude PCE#and some of u are still mad#RELATIONSHIPS DONT EXIST IN A FUCKING VACUUMM!!!!!!#mind you mythal got betrayed by her own deranged husband who then got locked away and she was lobotomized#and then after she protected her people in this new world solas showed up and went well im bombing it#LIKE UNFORTUNATELY. SINCE HE KILLED FLEMETH HE KINDA NEEDED TO ATONE FOR THE NUMEROUS GRIEVANCES HE CAUSED IN MYTHALS LIFE TOO#also like even tho it was mythals choice to follow her husband and it was her own undoing#solas as a spirit of wisdom who knew better and warned her still thinks he failed her and not vice versa bc it was his Nature.#i also think it would be largely out of character for solas to just go okie after lavellan forgives him#he literally broke up w her bc he felt he was betraying this path of repentance he made up for himself#he wished it was as easy to just cast aside & get over it and adapt like mythal clearly has but#in his core he feels deeply. his regrets his losses his pain. he is a spirit#he is not a man. he is weighed down by emotions the mortal coil cannot comprehend#it is also why he did not want cole bound or inq drinking from the fountain#he made a choice and he failed and he carried that burned for centuries#he would not have that thrust upon someone else#and he also cannot wash away the guilt without confronting it. and he hasnt been confronting it until hes trapped#and even then his last confrontation w mythal b4 vg was when he gutted her to seize power and do what HE thought he must
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guy who's unaware he's gonna spend the next 3-5 hours reworking the lyrics of dream sweet in sea major: haha maybe i'll write a silly little narrative for my hmself, wouldn't that be fun? :)
#chemi chats#ALONE ON THE EDGE OF PERIPHERY COMES THE WRONG TUNE (OR MISREMEMBERING WHAT YOU KNOW)#the ideal way for this to work is to make a mashup of Dream Sweet/Isle Unto Thyself/Intro to the Snow and sing to it#which sounds cool in theory and in my head but i cant make that hfgjh i wish i knew music but i only know how to sing :')#their current names are Petal for Heart | Synapse for Mind | Soli for Soul :0 all are names for parts of a larger sum/whole#there's a vague storyline that i think is very interesting but parts of it might need to be scraped. hmmm alas. still very cool tho!!#''Petal (pedantic) / Synaptic (sycophantic) / A blade before the brow / A seam so it seems I *screamed*''#in theory the timeloop would be contained to just this song. And you can make them loop by sticking the song on repeat :]#Soli has a sword!! because what else would be in character for me lmao. He's music coded (a Soli is a solo done by more than one person!)#The conductor and the baton! Petal has flower imagery (instead of a blindfold he has a flower in his left eye)#I'm not sure what to do for Synapse exactly because synapses arent actually very aesthetically pleasing lmao#maybe star coding. because that's my other aesthetic? ough idk!! dont know about this guy hkjgh#im not very good at making characters hkjhg this is why im a fanartist hkjg#i am decent at writing lyrics and im very good at storytelling though so let's see what we can make~!!#but. not right now. bc i am soooo sleepy jhkjdhg
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aaroncelina not returning to me is my roman empire
#for the record i respect tru's decision BUT he said he was open to his character making some apperances#so i want those appearances to be him and celina kissing#they are my barbie dolls and i am a 7 y/o discovering romance for the first time#like theyre so cute#and i completely loved the way it was going#like them being platonic for YEARS before going a slowburn route#aaron having a crush on her in the early years before they get over it then celina reciprocating years later#like thats peak right there!!!!#celina thinking its too late#aaron refalling for her#rain confession... like do we see the vision#like i saw them as platonic#but then season 6 happened#and we deserved more of them#the show dropped the ball with them#but thats because the rich people couldnt decide that oh wait... writers may be important in media... huh... wish we knew#sorry i have so many thoughts on the writers strike (it can be surmised in drew's video tho)#aaroncelina let me be your writer#i will do you justice#aaron thorsen#celina juarez#the rookie#aaron x celina#whats their shipname#aarina? celron? thorez? juarsen?
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*lies facedown on the floor as house song by searows plays distantly*
#smth smth the lines ‘something is rotten inside of me. I need to find it and cut it out’ are on repeat#the way it’s said in such a soft lilting aching whisper#I do not know what the rotten thing is. I do not know if there’s even anything rotten to begin with#I am just. here. and. it feels.#how does it feel? bro I wish I knew. sure does tho#anyway *flings myself like a frisbee back into the void*#arty issues#vent
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Original Fiction
Fictober Day 13 - “that’s not the point”, a vague bittersweet angsty kinda fic about my beloved Willow and Pyg
#fictober24#fictober event#writing#fanfic#fanfiction#original characters#original story#I don’t know how much of it is clear in this fic#but I don’t wanna give all the context or anything. even though said event doesn’t happen exactly like this#back of my brain says hey what if you ever do tell the entire story someday. you want some of it to be properly new and surprising#so yeah. lol#the last few lines of that hurt me tho. okay.#you don’t understand how much they love each other…#funny bc in fandom context that’s like saying. you don’t get their relationship how I do.#but here it’s. you literally can’t get it like I do I am the creator of these lovely lil guys and only I know their full stories…#and even then I have so so so many details I’ve yet to figure out lol. yk?#but man I love these ocs. not just Willow and Pyg but the whole batch of them in this universe#I wish I knew exactly when I came up with them but it’s been at least 5 years these guys have been with me… ugh I love em
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thank god chappell roan didn’t release good luck babe in summer 22!
#i unfortunately had a homoerotic female friendship that ended abruptly and tragically#she was my best friend for YEARS like we met when we were 11#i knew i was queer pretty early on but it’s so painfully obvious in hindsight how badly she was repressing everything#we fell asleep together she liked every guy i liked she was invested in every female situationship i had#like it was so painfully obvious what we were but we were just an undefined weird tension homoerotic pair of besties!#she always wanted to know every detail of my sex life w women refused to hear about the men i was w#she would hold me when we watched movies she wanted to do everything w me and she hated me after we graduated hs!#last conversation was on her birthday haven’t spoken to her once since#this song has sent me into a 3 day spiral session if you can’t tell 😭#never fully gotten over her but i see her post w her new friends at her school 6 hours away like cool cool okay#you’re going to ignore i ever existed instead of confronting your feelings okay! don’t know why she wants nothing to do w me anymore tho#crazy stuff it’s been a year and a half since we stopped being friends but i think about her a lot and i wonder if she thinks about me#i have 2 playlists about her she still follows me on spotify but she didn’t even wish me a happy birthday#at the end of the day i hope she figures everything out. you’re nothing more than his wife and all that#this song THIS SONG SHE WONT LEAVE MY MIND#probably delete later. we’ll see cause all my friends are sick of hearing me talk about her but i can’t stop she’s been in my mind since#this song dropped so thanks chappell 🥹🥹🫡#🪺
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