#i will work immediately on the asks

[frownyalfred]

thinking about the expert masseuse Alfred hired for the family that is paid a small fortune annually to provide massage services and ignore so, so many things. No questions, no remarks, just quality service and an ironclad NDA that, if broken, would probably topple said masseuse’s entire family line.

Things Alfred is paying them to ignore, in no specific order:

Bruce’s spinal hardware courtesy of Bane :)

weird amounts of muscle on everyone, even the kids (despite them allegedly not working physical jobs)

scars

FRESH scars

the fact that every joint in Bruce’s body clicks when moved/manipulated at the tender age of 42

Olympic athlete level physiques

rotator cuff injuries across the whole family

scars that are definitely from bullets and/or acid splashes

old signs of what looks like torture (Bruce)

Dick’s entire left arm is basically screws and plates (he “fell really bad” once)

every single family member takes deep tissue massage with max pressure with 0 complaints

calluses

no really, the weirdest fucking calluses

[aitadjcrazytimes]

[choccy-milky]

from my new oneshot, 'the vexing village of vellmore' ✨ ao3 / wattpad ((it's about seb & clora visiting a cursed village and trying to figure out how to break the curse, and since it ended up being 50k words i decided to split it into 2 chapters and the next part will be out soon!🙏 also, while it does have spoilers for the raven and the snake, it's a standalone story and can be read blind💖))

[chloesimaginationthings]

Oooo I love the way you draw Jeff he's cute <333

I hope I did Jeff justice.. gotta love tired men

[fernsnailz]

sorry these kinds of comments have been really pissing me off recently lol

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Bros before Ho(oh my god is that Hanguang-Jun?)

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[gonnadosomethingwmylife]

do y’all remember the criminal minds episode where the team had to go to a sexual harassment seminar mostly because of how derek and penelope talk to each other? Suits could’ve done something really funny.

I just want a normal person overhearing harvey call his associate a good boy or any one of their weird as fuck conversations and being like what the FUCK dude and reporting it,,,mikes embarrassed bc he doesn’t MIND and he gives it right back in his own way but everyone sitting at this seminar clearly aimed at harvey at mike,,,i think it would be really funny

[spacebubblehomebase]

i want to take your art, put it in a pot, fill that pot with broth, chicken, and noodles, boil it, then eat it with crackers, so my mouth can feel a sliver of the joy my eyes feel when i see your art

Had to try out that oddly specific recipe, but thank you! ^v^ -Bubbly���

[bigboobshaunt]

I know it's largely a waste of time because the people I've seen peddling this idea don't really care and are just doing it to add pointless discourse, but I am bored at work so at least I'm getting paid!

The idea that, although Kabru cares about Laios, Laios doesn't care about Kabru is wrong, even before he becomes his royal advisor and the new interactions they got post-canon, and insisting otherwise shows a lack of understanding of the dynamic.

I think it's clear to everyone that the confession scene mattered to Kabru, so the camp pushing this lately isn't even arguing that, but I don't think they're thinking from Laios' side.

The entire scene is meant to be a parallel to Laios and Shuro's fight way earlier in the manga. Laios hasn't known Kabru for nearly as long, but he was still someone who was ultimately lying to him (a façade in Kabru's case, wrapped up in his own trauma) and someone that Laios built up an ideal version of in his head... so why is his reaction to Kabru coming clean so starkly different? Simply put, it's his character development.

Instead of angry and betrayed, he doesn't even initially believe anyone would go through the trouble of braving the Dungeon to be his friend. Such a ridiculous idea!

But Kabru IS sincere. He is sincere in his desire to get to truly know Laios. He has his own wrong ideas about what makes Laios tick, but differently from many, many people in his life (especially with his childhood and his complex feelings towards his village and his parents who ostracized him and Falin) Kabru is willing to make an effort to understand him. That's huge.

[nibbelraz]

I am endlessly entertained by the prospect of MBJ just having literally no clue how human physiology works, and thus believing everything he hears (which, paired with SQH's propensity for saying dumb shit without thinking, is a recipe for disaster)

like:

SQH: ugh if I read any more expense reports my eyeballs will fall out of my head

MBJ: *frantically gathering as many expense reports as he can carry before shoving them into the fire*

SQH: *literally watching all his work burn up in flames* i-

MBJ: please hold in your eyeballs

______

SQH, offhandedly: lmao wei qingwei ate so many bao buns at the festival that I honestly think he's going to turn into one

MBJ, absolutely horrified, actually gives his condolences to the (very confused) human man because this affliction which will soon take his humanity is a fate worse than death. Also he starts hiding SQH's melon seeds

_____

SQH: ugh I'm so stressed out i'm gonna EXPLODE

MBJ: NO-

Yes YES OH man Shang Qinghua definitely has no filter when complaining about stuff, Poor Mobei he's learning so many awful things about humans and how MUCH DANGER THEYRE IN (how much danger his favorite human is in)

He tries to learn more about what can happen to his poor human so he's spying on Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghuas meetings only to hear them BOTH dramatically explain how tired they are, Shen Qingqiu with some peak lord duties juggled with Binghe and Shang Qinghua with just the amount of paper work and how they both won't make it if things don't slow down soon which prompts Mobei to immediately tell Luo Binghe that his consort is going to DIE if he doesn't get rest immediately this second

I can see this getting SO out of hand so fast, He'd bury Shang Qinghua in blankets and hold him tight so absolutely nothing can bother him and he'd be safe

[cubbihue]

So.... why'd Peri get assigned Dev as his first godchild?

Jorgen’s usually not the one in charge of assigning godchildren. There’s an entire department that weighs and classifies potentail Godkids to the right Fairy. Although it’s on strike at the moment.

So Jorgen has to do it by hand, until the union negotiations are resolved. Turns out trying to use paperclips is very hard. Itty bitty paperclips. Big muscular biceps. Not a good combo.

Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]

Peri's Assignment: [Previous] > [Next]

[deoidesign]

I met the me who made different choices

[spacedlexi]

"sounds nice... having a partner"

[elitisim]

Sheabuttyr - Dameon Dreads

All credits goes to @sheabuttyr! Original here!

Hair for For Teen ➤ Elder Males

25.8k poly

1024x texture

Texture Credit: Sheabuttyr

Custom Thumbnail

Contains all LODS and is disabled for random

Larger Pics and color channel breakdown under the cut

tagging: @pis3update, @naturalhair-sims3, @xto3conversionsfinds

[DOWNLOAD]

[moghedien]

Book Galinda my beloved 😭

[secretlythatsme]

i feel like Most dpxdc crossover fics have dp and dc in the same universe which like, is still fun don't get me wrong, but there's so many missed opportunities with them being in fully separate universes!

i'm specifically thinking of an au where the dcu is fictional in danny's universe like in ours. so instead of him being dropped in a random city, he's fully isekaid into the dcu and has to deal with the implications of that. danny not being a dc fan could def be interesting, but i personally really like the idea of him being a fan! i think he'd be really into characters like martian manhunter or the superfam since they're more directly related to space, but i think he'd have appreciation for the common dpxdc characters like the batfam too.

but anyway i'm just thinking of dc fan danny who somehow gets dropped into the dcu and is immediately clocked as Different and Knowing by literally every hero/vigilante there. damian screams bloody murder at him and danny just gives him this look like "i know what you've been through and you're just a kid so i won't hold it against you even though that was pretty mean" and damian is sooo pissed cause what the fuck does this guy know?? danny looks at jason like he's seeing robin and not red hood,,, he sees batman one day and gives him the most begrudging respectful and also highly judgemental glare. danny seeing clark on the street and immediately noping and turning around like no not dealing with superman today no thanks. danny randomly happens to be walking next to wally and tries to get him into a walking race. danny who keeps looking up at the sky whenever the watchtower is above him.

i just love the idea of danny walking around knowing way too much, not even necessarily being Powerful at this point, he just knows! too! much! and every hero who meets him feels completely exposed like how does this random kid give everyone the heebie jeebies.. what does he know.. how much does he know... why does he know... etcetc.

idk i love casually creepy danny