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frownyalfred · 7 months ago

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thinking about the expert masseuse Alfred hired for the family that is paid a small fortune annually to provide massage services and ignore so, so many things. No questions, no remarks, just quality service and an ironclad NDA that, if broken, would probably topple said masseuse’s entire family line.

Things Alfred is paying them to ignore, in no specific order:

Bruce’s spinal hardware courtesy of Bane :)

weird amounts of muscle on everyone, even the kids (despite them allegedly not working physical jobs)

scars

FRESH scars

the fact that every joint in Bruce’s body clicks when moved/manipulated at the tender age of 42

Olympic athlete level physiques

rotator cuff injuries across the whole family

scars that are definitely from bullets and/or acid splashes

old signs of what looks like torture (Bruce)

Dick’s entire left arm is basically screws and plates (he “fell really bad” once)

every single family member takes deep tissue massage with max pressure with 0 complaints

calluses

no really, the weirdest fucking calluses

#thoughts #I got a massage today and played my favorite game #where the masseuse touches my back for the first time #add to this?#recoils slightly #and asks me immediately what I do for work lmao #bruce wayne #batman #dc #batfamily #dick Grayson #robin #nightwing #red hood #Jason todd #Damian wayne #Fic ideas #actually this would be a hilarious outsider pov

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aitadjcrazytimes · 1 year ago

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#lmao #for anyone who's curious the process went:#send ask to aita official #blog blows up #someone realizes its a chexer fic #i follow them bc they seem cool #i join their rvb server #their encouragement pushes me to finish the Actual Fic i was working on #i expand the fic to be more of a whole au after it comes out much better than expected #the next fic in the au that i work on has to do with a character's brain injury #this leads me to do research into brain injuries #''......huh. this sounds. a lot like the neurological symptoms that my doctors have been saying is just part of my anxiety disorder''#think on that for a while #go to the ER for unrelated reasons #remember my theory #bring it up to the doctor #Doctor Immediate Concern #doctors orders a ct scan #''eeyup! that there's some atrophying and a chiari malformation! y'ever had a head injury''#(i had had several)#''well! shit! time to refer you to neurosurgery :) see if we cant do somethin about all that memory loss and severe pain and shit''#and now we are here #it also lead me to research osddid systems for the first fic #and now my therapist is having me tested for osdd because i did not know that those symptoms were not a thing everyone experiences #so like. thanks for helping me meet friends who could encourage me to engage with the things i like + learn more about myself #^ ^ <3 #im actually not gonna say ''ok last update fr this time'' bc idfk maybe something WOULD be funny to post on here

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choccy-milky · 5 months ago

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from my new oneshot, 'the vexing village of vellmore' ✨ ao3 / wattpad ((it's about seb & clora visiting a cursed village and trying to figure out how to break the curse, and since it ended up being 50k words i decided to split it into 2 chapters and the next part will be out soon!🙏 also, while it does have spoilers for the raven and the snake, it's a standalone story and can be read blind💖))

#u know i had to do the alliteration title #heads up but theres a smut scene almost immediately 😇LMAOOO #im actually so happy with this oneshot as a whole tho its sooo self indulgent BAHAHA so i hope yall like it too🙏🙏#part 2 is already done and ill post it when i finish more art for it✍️✍️✍️✍️#i defs wanna write more lil stories like this with them....older and working together.....its so fun.....i just need more ideas😩#HINT HINT 😇😇😇😇#this has all ive been working on the past like week straight SORRY IF I HAVENT GOTTEN AROUND TO ASKS #hogwarts legacy #hogwarts legacy fanfiction #sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow x oc #sebastian sallow x mc #clora clemons #choccyart #sebastian sallow fanfiction #sebastian x mc

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chloesimaginationthings · 6 months ago

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Oooo I love the way you draw Jeff he's cute <333

I hope I did Jeff justice.. gotta love tired men

#ask reply #I’m unsurprised that yall here were immediately into Jeff #we love some pathetic guys #TBH I ACTUALLY really like Jeff’s character #despite being so tired he actually really nice to Oswald #never scolding him or questioning hard to why he’s at the pizzeria #mean from his POV he probably just sees Oswald needing a place to stay #while his parents work so why ever integrate him #Jeff doesn’t even mind when Oswald walks into the backroom to talk to him #JEFF IS chill he’s a homie #no doubt I’ll be drawing him and Oswald again soon #I’m a sucker for tired incompetent adult and their spunky more competent kid #Mike and Abby now Jeff and Oswald #peak I love them all BAHA

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fernsnailz · 6 months ago

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sorry these kinds of comments have been really pissing me off recently lol

#it's been kinda hard for me to pinpoint WHY exactly these sort of comments feel insulting #but i think it's mostly because it implies my original work is purposefully and inherently derivative of things i have no connection to #while i think being derivative in art is. kinda unavoidable in a sense (and something i'm aware i do consciously and unconsciously)#it feels like a slap in the face when people imply that my work cannot hold its own merit and need to be compared to #something in the popular conscious #and like sometimes people don't know it's original art which is fine #but it also doesn't hurt to ask if it's original instead of just. immediately assuming or comparing it to something else #i know this will only get more difficult as i continue to drift away from fanart and fan works #but i really want to be able to be proud of my original work and i want to share more! because it's a part of me!!#but its really hard when it feels like i'm always going to be compared to things people care about more!!!! AAAUGH #god. ok sorry i need to get that off my chest. if anyone compares computer angel to TMA again im gonna start eating drywall #fern's sketchbook

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 1 year ago

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Bros before Ho(oh my god is that Hanguang-Jun?)

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #jiang cheng #WWX really was unhinged for saying he was going to always be at JC's side and then immediately asking about LWJ.#The D in ADHD stands for Distractible. The second D stands for DooowawawaWaaaah (ADHDers know what I mean)#Their conversation is such a knife twist in this flashback. WWX truly and genuinely does mean it when he says he wants to support JC #And that JC hopes for that too! Tragedies hit the hardest when you can feel the lost futures characters would have together #And I feel it here in this scene so painfully. There's complicated feelings between them but it wasn't what broke them apart.#The rumours and the twisted family dynamics that tried to pit them against each other likely wouldnt have worked.#It set the stage for JC to have an inferiority complex which then grows into his responsibility complex.#WWX even calls it out! That JC has to be the responsible one in the dynamic.#And it sucks to be in that unequal position with a sibling or a not-sibling.#You don't get the love *or* acknowledgement but you do get the pressure to be the 'better one' in the face of the other's misbehaviour.#But I digress. There was a world where they did became the twin heroes of yunmeng jiang and stayed together.#And we'll never see it. That world is gone now. And just like Lotus pier -even if they tried to rebuild it - they will never be the same.

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cubbihue · 5 months ago

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So.... why'd Peri get assigned Dev as his first godchild?

Jorgen’s usually not the one in charge of assigning godchildren. There’s an entire department that weighs and classifies potentail Godkids to the right Fairy. Although it’s on strike at the moment.

So Jorgen has to do it by hand, until the union negotiations are resolved. Turns out trying to use paperclips is very hard. Itty bitty paperclips. Big muscular biceps. Not a good combo.

Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]

Peri's Assignment: [Previous] > [Next]

#fairly oddparents #fop #fop a new wish #fop timmy turner #fop timmy #timmy turner #fop jorgen vonstrangle #fop jorgen #jorgen vonstrangle #asks #itty bitties fop au #you'd think they'd have automated everything what with technology advancing to how it is today #but nah.#institutions are very slow to update or switch onto new tech or new efficient system. so everything's still on paper at the moment #(<- upset that most of the court systems in the u.s still rely on paper trails and refuses to digitize important documents)#anyways the department's in negotiations which means jorgen has to pick up the work to ensure no other fairy crosses the picket line #which means handling itty bitty paper clips for itty bitty papers #the amount of paper clips that have lost their lives because he accidentally snapped or bent them.... o7 #ALSO.#I THINK IMMA MAKE A NEW POST FOR THIS BUT #I THINK IM GOING TO ADD A NEW LINE OF LINKS FOR THE PLOT-RELATED POSTS #THAT WAY YOU CAN JUMP BACK TO THE IMMEDIATE PREVIOUS PLOT LINK #WITHOUT NEEDING TO JUMP THROUGH A THOUSAND OTHER UPDATES THATS BEEN PUT BETWEEN THEM #when i go back to the chimmy moving plot and the timhazdev argument plot i'll also do the same thing

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gonnadosomethingwmylife · 7 months ago

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do y’all remember the criminal minds episode where the team had to go to a sexual harassment seminar mostly because of how derek and penelope talk to each other? Suits could’ve done something really funny.

I just want a normal person overhearing harvey call his associate a good boy or any one of their weird as fuck conversations and being like what the FUCK dude and reporting it,,,mikes embarrassed bc he doesn’t MIND and he gives it right back in his own way but everyone sitting at this seminar clearly aimed at harvey at mike,,,i think it would be really funny

#and poor mike who’s never worked a corporate job has no idea how weird he and Harvey are in HRs eyes #kyle asks the presenter if puppy is an appropriate nickname in the workplace//presenter is adamant that it is NOT #mike realizes what’s going on and immediately throws louis under the bus #harvey catches on and joins especially w the pony/bareback metaphor #but i like the idea they’re constantly reported but both refuse to snitch so the complaint never go anywhere #when harvey and mike come out as dating years later HR pretends to be surprised #they are not #harvey specter #mike ross #marvey #suits usa #suits tv

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spacebubblehomebase · 9 months ago

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i want to take your art, put it in a pot, fill that pot with broth, chicken, and noodles, boil it, then eat it with crackers, so my mouth can feel a sliver of the joy my eyes feel when i see your art

Had to try out that oddly specific recipe, but thank you! ^v^ -Bubbly💙

#spacebubblearts #hazbin hotel #radioapple #appleradio #I just doodled them because I was working on my AU when I got this #also awwww ty that's so sweet 🥺#Asks #my art #fanart #lucifer mornigstar #hazbin alastor #doodle #thanks anon!#cooking #this was my immediate response I'm sorry TvT

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royalarchivist · 22 days ago

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Foolish: What's– what's with all the ass shoving going on here? 😰

Bagi: Are you going to shovel Fit in your ass?

Fit: JESUS.

Pac: No–! I'm just gonna- AAAAA– [He runs into the pond to drown himself] I'm done, I'm done! I'm done!

Foolish: [Squeaky laugh]

Pac: It doesn't fit! Fit doesn't fit! Ok?! Doesn't fit!

Fit: Oh no... Oh no... Oh no... You know, I'm just- I'm just gonna– [He walks] I'm just gonna clear my mind, I'm gonna clear my head.

Today is, unfortunately, the one year anniversary of this cursed conversation (which spawned more cursed conversations) 💀

[ Full Transcript ↓ ]

—

Fit: This isn't me! This is not "FitMC" it's "Fit... MC." This is not me.

Pac: Fit McDonalds! :O

Bagi: "Fit MC'' [Laughs]

Fit: It's Fit McDonalds, this is NOT me, this is an imposter! This is a fcking imposter! I can't believe it.

Pac: Fit Mac! Or Mac Fit? 🤔

Bagi: [Laughing] Fit Mac... Ok Pac, I think you should go to the McDonalds and order FitMac!

Pac: No, yeah yeah! I want to order. And also, I can shovel it in my ass so that I can bring McDonald's to the prison.

Foolish: What's– what's with all the ass shoving going on here? 😰

Bagi: Are you going to shovel Fit in your ass?

[They all laugh]

Fit: [Laughs] JESUS.

Pac: No–! I'm just gonna- AAAAA– [He runs into the pond to drown himself] I'm done, I'm done! I'm done!

Foolish: [Squeaky laugh]

Pac: It doesn't fit! Fit doesn't fit!

Fit: [Cracks up]

Pac: Ok?! Doesn't fit!

Fit: Oh no... Oh no... Oh no...

[Bagi and Foolish continue laughing]

Fit: You know, I'm just- I'm just gonna– [He walks away and does the "meditate" emoji, facing away from everyone] I'm just gonna–

Bagi: [To Foolish] Why are you laughing???

Pac: [Laughs]

Fit: I'm just gonna... clear my mind, I'm gonna clear my head.

Bagi: [Out of breath] Just stop laughing!

Fit: I'm gonna clear my fckin' mind right now.

[Everyone continues laughing]

Fit: Yeah yeah yeah, this is- this is fine. This is fine.

[Ramon warps back]

Bagi: Oh Ramon, it's a really nice hole you made here!

Foolish: That was just a wild- a wild sequence right there.

[Everyone laughs, and Empanada lies face-down on the ground]

Foolish: Oh boy... Man, prison's gonna be fun, prison's gonna be fun.

Fit: Yeah... It's gonna be real fun.

Pac: It's gonna be real fun.

#FitMC #Pactw #QSMP #Hideduo #FitPac #I GUESS.#oiBagi #Foolish Gamers #Foolish #Bagi #Pac #Fit #Happy 1 year anniversary to this... Unfortunately...#Me: I miss QSMP so much #Me: *remembers the cheeseburger and ass shoving bit*#Me: I still miss QSMP but I am no longer Overwhelmed by grief in this immediate moment #Man I was just planning on re-posting / reblogging the original clip I made of this #but insomnia is kicking my ass so bad so I just stayed up and did this instead #Did something a bit different with the POV outlines. I think it looks nice #a lot more uniform even if I do like the individual colors for each CC #That works better when it's just one or two CCs #when it's more it gets too messy and distracting I think #Timestamps:#3h 41m - Fit's POV #48m Foolish's POV #1h 1m Bagi's POV #3h 33m Pac's POV #''I'm gonna clear my head I'm gonna clear my mind'' Me Frickin Too Man #Never Ask Me For Anything Again #Edited

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moghedien · 2 months ago

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Book Galinda my beloved 😭

#she’s like ‘I’ve never left my town before but I have to pretend like I’m cool and worldly and know how things work’#and then immediately fails so hard Dr Dillamond has to get her a taxi the first time she sees a city because she’s freaking out so much #tired of people asking rhetorical questions she just needs someone to explain the world to her #please shes never left home before and her roommates green and looks weirdly attractive in her hats #wicked #wicked book #wicked the life and times of the wicked witch of the west #glinda arduenna upland

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bigboobshaunt · 11 months ago

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I know it's largely a waste of time because the people I've seen peddling this idea don't really care and are just doing it to add pointless discourse, but I am bored at work so at least I'm getting paid!

The idea that, although Kabru cares about Laios, Laios doesn't care about Kabru is wrong, even before he becomes his royal advisor and the new interactions they got post-canon, and insisting otherwise shows a lack of understanding of the dynamic.

I think it's clear to everyone that the confession scene mattered to Kabru, so the camp pushing this lately isn't even arguing that, but I don't think they're thinking from Laios' side.

The entire scene is meant to be a parallel to Laios and Shuro's fight way earlier in the manga. Laios hasn't known Kabru for nearly as long, but he was still someone who was ultimately lying to him (a façade in Kabru's case, wrapped up in his own trauma) and someone that Laios built up an ideal version of in his head... so why is his reaction to Kabru coming clean so starkly different? Simply put, it's his character development.

Instead of angry and betrayed, he doesn't even initially believe anyone would go through the trouble of braving the Dungeon to be his friend. Such a ridiculous idea!

But Kabru IS sincere. He is sincere in his desire to get to truly know Laios. He has his own wrong ideas about what makes Laios tick, but differently from many, many people in his life (especially with his childhood and his complex feelings towards his village and his parents who ostracized him and Falin) Kabru is willing to make an effort to understand him. That's huge.

#Laios Touden #Kabru of Utaya #Dungeon Meshi #I've been ruminating on this post since I saw that shit start popping up and it made my eyelids twitch #anyways he immediately asked Kabru out on a restaurant date after that #no really. that happened in canon in case you don't remember #Labru #it works platonically too! you don't have to be invested in them romantically #but denying the bond is just... dumb

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nibbelraz · 11 months ago

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I am endlessly entertained by the prospect of MBJ just having literally no clue how human physiology works, and thus believing everything he hears (which, paired with SQH's propensity for saying dumb shit without thinking, is a recipe for disaster)

like:

SQH: ugh if I read any more expense reports my eyeballs will fall out of my head

MBJ: *frantically gathering as many expense reports as he can carry before shoving them into the fire*

SQH: *literally watching all his work burn up in flames* i-

MBJ: please hold in your eyeballs

______

SQH, offhandedly: lmao wei qingwei ate so many bao buns at the festival that I honestly think he's going to turn into one

MBJ, absolutely horrified, actually gives his condolences to the (very confused) human man because this affliction which will soon take his humanity is a fate worse than death. Also he starts hiding SQH's melon seeds

_____

SQH: ugh I'm so stressed out i'm gonna EXPLODE

MBJ: NO-

Yes YES OH man Shang Qinghua definitely has no filter when complaining about stuff, Poor Mobei he's learning so many awful things about humans and how MUCH DANGER THEYRE IN (how much danger his favorite human is in)

He tries to learn more about what can happen to his poor human so he's spying on Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghuas meetings only to hear them BOTH dramatically explain how tired they are, Shen Qingqiu with some peak lord duties juggled with Binghe and Shang Qinghua with just the amount of paper work and how they both won't make it if things don't slow down soon which prompts Mobei to immediately tell Luo Binghe that his consort is going to DIE if he doesn't get rest immediately this second

I can see this getting SO out of hand so fast, He'd bury Shang Qinghua in blankets and hold him tight so absolutely nothing can bother him and he'd be safe

#svsss #shen qingqiu #luo binghe #shang qinghua #mobei jun #moshang #bingqiu #i would read a fic about this immediately i love how they cant communicate #because i know Shang Qinghua would be WAY too confused to even try to put together wtf is happening with his king #he misses his melon seeds #and his work keeps getting burned #my king what are you doing? Are you trying to make my work longer?#also Binghe would wholehearedly belive Mobei if he said his shizun is dying from lack of rest #immediately making Shen Qingqiu lay in bed and latching onto him and hiss8ng at anyone that bothers them #ask

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deoidesign · 4 months ago

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