#i will no apologise for making incoherent posts

[fortjester]

have you considered that im happier here 'cause he told me i should be? oh? you're so handsome when i'm all over your mouth(WHEN IM ALL OVER YOUR MOUTH WHEN IM ALL OVER YOUR MOUTH--) I TRIED TO BE GOOD AM I NO GOOD? AM I NO GOOD?? AM I NO GOOD??? WITH MY MEMORY RESTRICTED TO A POLAROID IN EVIDENCE!!!! I JUST WANTED TO BE YOURS! CAN I BE YOURS?? CAN I BE YOURS??? JUST TELL ME IM YOURS!!!! IF IM TURNING IN YOUR STOMACH AND IM MAKING YOU FEEL SICK!!!!! AM I MAKING YOU FEEL SICK???????

[songofwizardry]

Ok I'm out of the UK and meant to be on an organising break so I don't even know the worst of it, because I'm off all my usual networks and chats, but here's a long post, because I'm angry: in the last few days, across the country, there have been (halal and Muslim owned) businesses burnt down and attacked including cafes (1 and 2) and a supermarket in Belfast; a Muslim cemetery was vandalised; multiple hotels housing asylum seekers or said to be housing asylum seekers were set on fire sometimes with people inside. And that's just what's on the news. The stuff coming out anecdotally, from the people I'm talking to, is even worse. And again, I'm not hearing the worst of it right now.

The rhetoric is blatant and obvious: the leaked list of targets for Wednesday evening that's going around explicitly says they won't stop coming until we make them. It explicitly targets immigration support, immigration lawyers, and asylum seeker and refugee support centres; and just because you think you live in a diverse area does not mean it’s not a target and that numbers aren’t needed. By virtue of it targeting immigration support (and by design!!!) they’re targeting areas with large Brown, Black and immigrant populations. Particularly Muslim populations.

I don’t want to fear monger, bc where communities have been showing up, the fash are being driven out. But like. I will not lie. It is terrifying to see blatant far-right, Islamophobic, explicitly anti-immigrant and anti-asylum rhetoric so openly on our streets, days on end. It makes me incandescent with rage to hear about mosques across the country issuing warnings and shutting down events, and to hear about my friends outside London whose families haven’t been able to leave their homes in days, to hear from my friends who are or support asylum seekers about how terrified they are. It infuriates me to see, even at this point, the language and reporting, because to make the news we have to step out of a mosque being targeted and offer the fash food and a tour of the mosque; because they're still talking about how much we "contribute" to this country and that's why you shouldn't target us; becaus there's still people pointing out super "reasonably" that this is a natural response of the white working class to unchecked immigration or our terrible crimes or the violence of Muslims or those fucking savages or because there's too many goddamn people crossing the channel or. Whatever new bullshit. Genuinely, this is still turning up in the reporting, and on socials, go look on twitter and you will be utterly horrified at the shit that's being said. I'm seeing it on tumblr too.

It makes me so fucking angry and yet I am unsurprised, because Nigel Farage is an MP and can still say that this is a “response to unchecked immigration”, because the shadow Welsh secretary can say there is “political justification” for the far-right action on our streets, because my friends who are asylum seekers have seen years upon years of being blamed for every ill and failure of the social safety net that the government has been responsible for. This is where we end up after years of talking about “no-go zones” in Muslim areas of cities, after “Stop the boats” (full of terrified people who are escaping unimaginably bad circumstances) becomes a reasonable political chant, after we had a prime minister whose blatant islamophobic comments were just… ignored for years, after years of newspaper front pages demonising us.

This isn’t just about the stabbings. (Tommy Robinson was in London leading a fash march before these stabbings. This has been a long time coming.) This is the result of years of this shit. So yeah, we are scared, and concerned, but also angry (maybe that’s just me; I am always angry). Look out for your friends. Check in on people, particularly if you know PoC and people targeted by Islamophobia (misplaced or otherwise, our Sikh friends get a lot of this shit as well), immigrants, and asylum seekers and refugees.

Numbers have been key to keeping the fash down. Counterprotests are happening everywhere—if you can get to one SAFELY (being the key word here—if you’re visibly going to be a target, there is no shame in staying home and staying safe) please do, don’t go alone under any circumstances, take the GBC number, don’t split off from the group, etc. Repeatedly, we have been the ones keeping each other safe. Counter-protests are being called by Stand Up To Racism (which is a SWP front), but particularly within London, BLMUK and LAFA (the London Anti-Fascist Assembly) are also coordinating responses—you can see stuff on the BLMUK instagram. Do what you can to help, but if you’re going out there, do it as a group and do it safely.

And please please push back against the anti-immigrant rhetoric, against these prevalent ideas (even) amongst “polite” middle class white liberals about Muslims who refuse to assimilate, about the “state” of “those” areas of Birmingham and Manchester and London, against the good immigrant narratives and the blame we get for everything from inflation to overcrowded classrooms to NHS underfunding, against the fucking vile way people talk about asylum seekers and people crossing the channel.

I am tired and sick to my core of the myth of “polite” British racism. I am tired of being told that things like that don’t happen here, of the shock I get anytime I describe the Islamophobia and racism that people (that I) experience. I’m actually very very tired full stop, and I don’t know how to end this paragraph.

Fuck the fash. We keep ourselves and each other safe. We need each other to keep our communities safe. Organise. And for the love of god, listen to us.

[gumified]

SO SO FULL !

pairing: satoru x reader, toji x reader, sukuna x reader, nanami x reader (all separate)

summary: jjk men and their need to breed you <3

content: 2.8k, smut, praise, degradation, dirty talk, cunnilingus (fem. receiving), overstimulation, fingering, reader passes out in gojo's one

note: tumblr refused to let me post my header image so i apologise <3

SATORU GOJO

you should’ve picked up the multiple hints that satoru threw at you throughout the week. the subtle glances towards the baby’s section when the both of you went shopping, the jokes about the both of you starting a family. you should’ve also known that satoru would fuck you silly once you told him that you genuinely wanted to start a family with him too.

“pretty pretty girl.” he coos, hands grazing your skin, sending shivers down your spine. “such a pretty pussy, look how she’s sucking me in.”

you’re bent over the bed, legs spread as satoru pumped his thick cock in and out of you repeatedly. your body thrashes against his grip and you moan blissfully at the feeling. everything feels so so good and your hands are gripping the sheets, twisting them as you squeal.

“f-fuckkk, i’m gonna fill this pussy up with my cum, she’s gonna be so full and plump.” satoru’s hands are on your waist, anchoring you down as he fucks into you mercilessly. you can only mewl as you beg for more. “you’re gonna look so pretty with my baby, wanna fill you up so bad angel.”

“nghh, ‘toru fill me up, please please please, need your cum inside me, w-wanna have your babies so bad!” you’re babbling incoherently, eyes rolling to the back of your head as every word he says is punctuated with a harsh thrust.

you already feel so full with his cock in you. you could feel it pulsating, the thick veins pushing against your gummy walls. satoru groans at your lewd noises and his hands snake their way to your tits. he squeezes them as he lifts your body up so you’re pressed against his taut chest. his hips keep pounding into your ass as you feel his hot breath fan across your neck. 

“these tits are gonna be plump and full of milk, g-god, can’t wait for you to grow so big and swollen. you’re gonna be glowing angel and ‘m gonna be sucking these tits every day.”

his words cause you to moan louder, the thought has you reeling and you struggle to keep yourself upright as he fucks you from behind. 

“s-satoru need it so much, pleasepleaseplease.” your pleads are incessant as you try to grind your hips against his. you feel your thoughts leave you as you succumb to the pure pleasure that surrounds you. satoru continues to pound into you and you feel his teeth sink into your shoulder. there’s a numbing feeling but you feel his tongue glide across your clavicle and he’s sucking just behind your ear. you whine at the feeling, growing more and more sensitive with each passing moment. “o-oh my goddd, gonna cum gonna cum ‘toru let me cum pleasee!”

all your senses are heightened as you feel your body reach its high. you feel satoru’s smug grin against your body and his breath is like fire on your skin. heat rises through your body and you whimper. his cock throbs in your pussy and you know he’s close.

“my pretty angel and her pretty pussy, you gonna milk me? gonna take all my cum like a good girl, angel? needa make sure that none of it falls out okay?”

“yes yes yes! want your cum sooo bad, satoru need you, i-”

your words are cut short as you feel his cum spill into your pussy and you’re rendered speechless. your body spasm around his cock as you release all over him. spurts of cum spray into your velvety walls and satoru can only hold your body tightly as he thrusts the remaining of his cum into your pussy. you feel your consciousness leave your body and you slump forward into your boyfriend’s arms. 

“awww angel.” he pouts as he hugs your limp body close. there’s a proud sensation that fills his body as he sees your fucked out face in front of him. “you’re gonna have to wake up soon, still wanna pump this pussy with my cum.”

TOJI FUSHIGURO

"say please." toji pulls your chin closer towards him. his cock is throbbing inside your pussy and he's been refusing to move. you know what he wants to hear but you refuse to say it. you’re beyond stubborn and you refuse to comply to his demands. "say. please." he punctuates each word with a thrust that makes you moan in delight. his eyes are dark and filled with lust. you're forced to give in and you moan his name.

"please toji." you beg, tears falling from your eyes. "please, want you to fuck me so bad, mmphh, please put a baby in me, please."

he grins smugly, giving your forehead a kiss and you feel your pussy clench around his cock. the harsh thrusts make your head spin. the low growls that emit from his throat is enough to make you see the stars. you feel his huge cock bully into your tiny hole as you feel yourself squeeze around him tightly. his hands wander below your chest, they fix onto your hips, thumbs pressing hard. you squirm under his gaze. kisses are littered all over your body, plump lips touching every sensitive part of you, eliciting delicious whines from you.

"say it louder doll, don't think i heard it correctly." his lips graze the shell of your ear, making you shiver. His voice is deep and it only makes you that much more desperate for him. "c'mon doll, say it f’me."

your bottom lip trembles and you open your mouth as a moan is forced from you. "fuck a baby into me toji. please, please, please!" 

"that's it. was that so hard?" toji muses, pounding into you harder. you moan as he sucks on your sensitive neck, leaving a blooming purple mark. his cock feels as if it's hitting the sweetest yet impossible places inside of you. "look at that." his hands come to cover the prominent bulge in your stomach. his cock is so so big and when you see the bump that he makes in your stomach you feel your pussy dripping with desire. when he presses down it makes your body spasms around him and you clench down hard. the sensation has your mind blanking. 

"wanna cum." you plead, throat hoarse from all the crying. you buck your hips up towards his in a desperate attempt for him to finally let you release all over his cock. "wanna cum, please let me cum, tojiii please!"

the words have toji smirking. his fingers rub your pussy, feeling the wetness as it makes a mess between your thighs. his fingers only add to your pleasure and nothing can compare as you gasp, moaning at the pleasure shooting up within you. he whispers dirty words of praise in your ear and that alone has you wanting more. you're writhing around under him as he massages the bulge, hands spreading warmth throughout your body which makes you jolt. 

"make a mess on my cock f’me doll, let me see your little body as you cum." 

at his command you let your release flow over your body, wracking through your bones. your body convulses around his cock, still thrusting into you. the feeling is too much and you feel your senses overloading. toji continues his heavy pounds into you, hips snapping to meet yours. soon enough, hot cum coats your insides, making you gasp. he groans above you, pressing his pretty lips onto yours. 

the euphoric sensation of your orgasm only lasts so long before you're being pulled off the bed and toji guides you to the shower. he gives you a plethora of kisses and attention. his hands come to grope your breasts and the words he utters next makes your heart pound and your pussy growing wet again.

"gonna fuck you everywhere until you're nice and pregnant with my baby."

SUKUNA RYOMEN

maybe it’s a bad idea to shout things at your boyfriend when you’re the one who is clearly in the wrong and maybe it isn't such a good idea to tell said boyfriend that he can't fuck you right.

when you see the literal steam billowing out of sukuna's ears you try to quickly retract your statement but it's no use and when he stalks over to pick you up and throws you over your shoulder you can't say that you didn't find that super attractive. 

he flings you on the bed, pinning you down so you can't move. his eyes are hard and angry and now you're feeling more excited rather than scared. you clamp your thighs together and sukuna notices and he lets out a scoff.

"what a fucking whore." he rips your panties away and you hear the tear but that's the least of your worries because he's sliding a finger through your wet folds causing you to let out a lewd moan. "already so wet. bet you want my cum to fill this tiny pussy."

you feel your pussy throb at his words and you look at him pleadingly. sukuna smirks. his fingers rub against your clit and you whimper at the sensation. he knew your body the best and he knew exactly which spots to press to elicit the most erotic noises from you, he also knew exactly what to say to cause you to lose your mind.

"oh you'd like that wouldn't you. want me to fuck a baby into you." he laughs darkly when he feels you clench around his fingers. “desperate bitch. i’m the only one who can fuck this slutty pussy, you belong to me and when i’m done with you you’re gonna be dripping with my cum.

there’s an underlying threat in his words but you’re already too blissed out to fully understand what the night has in store for you. he wastes no time shoving his digits in and out of you, the movements making your back arch and toes curl. he scissors you open and the lewd sounds that fill the air only has your mind filled with dirty thoughts. 

“too much, ‘kuna ‘s too much, feels too good nghhh.” you feel another moan bubble up in your chest and you say his name as it bursts. sukuna's fingers curl up and he presses down on your gummy walls, making you writhe around him. he thrusts them into you faster, harsher. your sensitivity peaks when he adds a third finger, stretching you out even more. 

"you're practically begging to be fucked." he stops for a moment as he recalls the words you had spat at him before. "but it seems i can't fuck you right."

"n-no!" you shout. "sukuna please, didn’t mean it, i didn’t mean it ‘kuna. only you, only you can fuck me, no one else, just you, only you ‘kunaa!"

your boyfriend eyes your needy body. the sight is pathetic, you pleading, tears pricking your eyes as you beg desperately like a bitch in heat. he chuckles at the sight. "want me to fuck you?" he asks, a mocking tone lacing his voice but you didn’t care. "want me to fill you up with my cum and make your belly nice and swollen? teach you a lesson for being such a brat and pump you so full with my cum?"

you nod your head, desperate for something for your pussy to be around. sukuna growls, giving you no warning when he thrusts into you, cock filling you up deliciously. he groans and you don't have time to adjust before he's fucking you. his hips snap to yours and he pounds his cock into you mercilessly. it feels so good to be fucked like this and you moan and sob his name repeatedly.

"g-god yes, ‘kunaaa!"

"yeah?" he pants, cock hitting your cervix every time he thrusts into you and it causes your body to jolt forward. "gonna give you all of my cum whore."

his words are like music to your ears and you want more of him. you buck your hips up and your hands run over his chest. his muscles shine with sweat and they flex ever so often. it has you dripping all over and your body wants more of him. sukuna fucks you with such vigour that you think the bed's going to break. your orgasm is fast approaching and you feel it in your lower stomach, the tightening feeling, threatening to burst. sukuna leans down to murmur in your ear and at his words you know you're not getting any sleep. 

"gonna fill this nasty pussy until she’s overflowing."

KENTO NANAMI

the moment that you told your husband that you were thinking about starting a family he had agreed instantly. what you didn’t expect was for him to go absolutely feral and fuck you continuously for hours upon your request, not that you were complaining. 

“k-kento!” you let out a strangled gasp when you feel his cock hit that sweet spot within you. you’re on all fours on your shared bed as he’s plunging his cock in and out of you. his hands are gripping your hips as he fucks you into ecstasy. “feels so good, a-ahh!”

his fingers glide across your skin and you shiver at the feeling. his thrusts are constant and you feel your heart race, threatening to burst from your chest. the dirty noises fill the room and the constant slapping of skin is accompanied with your squeals of pleasure and nanami’s groans.

“you’re so gorgeous my love, gonna look even more gorgeous with my baby inside you.” he pants and you feel his chest press against your back. his arms are placed in front of you, locking you down onto the bed. the heat of his body transfers to yours and you can’t help but let out a whimper at the proximity. his eyes were locked to where the two of you were connected. his cock pounded your puffy cunt repeatedly and nanami watched as your arousal coated his length. “my pretty girl, all of this f’me? such a pretty pretty pussy.”

his words light a fire inside you and you can’t help but feel so exposed under his gaze. you try to squirm away but he pushes your body down against the mattress and you’re actually trapped now.

“why’re you tryin’ run darling? ‘m gonna fill this pussy with my cum and then ‘m gonna make sure none of it goes to waste.” 

“nghh ken pleaseee.” your pleads are desperate and you feel his cock pulse inside you. every single thrust has your hands tugging the sheets, trying to find something to anchor you down. nanami’s hands thread through your hair and you feel him pull your head up to face him. he catches your lips into a passionate kiss, one that has your tongues tangling with each other. you moan into his mouth, your lashes fluttering shut as you let yourself get consumed by the sheer pleasure that awaits you. your husband pulls away and you pout at the loss of contact. “more ken, m-more kiss me more, plea-”

your sentence is cut short as he crashes his lips on yours once more. his movements are rushed and messy and you feel saliva trickle down your chin as he shoves his tongue into your mouth, swallowing every one of your lewd noises. his hands are still in your hair and you feel the euphoric sensation at every tug and pull. you feel your pussy constrict around his cock causing him to let out a guttural groan into your mouth and you feel oddly proud. 

“you’re so tight my love, ‘m gonna cum soon.”

the words have you becoming a desperate whore and you moan even louder, whining as you jut your hips towards his. “pleaseee, fill me up ken, w-want your cum inside my pussy, wanna carry your children, please f-fuckkk!”

nanami feels his thoughts melt away at your desperate pleas and he can’t refuse whatever his precious wife requests and he’s quickening his thrusts. he shoves his cock into your plushy pussy repeatedly, making a mess between your legs. it’s non stop as he chases his high. his fingers trail down to pinch your clit and you let out a breathy gasp. he continues to play with your sensitive bundle of nerves and your body writhes with pleasure. 

“fuck! ‘m cumming sweetheart, this pretty pussy’s gonna get filled so full with my cum, gonna fuck a baby into you and then you’re gonna be so big and swollen. can’t wait to see you glowing, want you to have my baby soo bad.”

his words urge you to your release and then you’re cumming all over his cock. your incessant sobs and moans fill the room as you feel yourself get pumped full of his cum. nanami grips onto your body as he slows his thrusts until he finally stops. you’re still in blissful euphoria from the sensation that you’ve just been blessed with when you feel his lips on your pussy.

“k-kento what are y-you doing?”

nanami looks up to you, lustful eyes meeting yours and you feel your pussy grow wet all over again. “gotta make sure you’re plugged full sweetheart.” and he resumes placing fluttering kisses against your folds leaving you to moan at his delicate gestures.

[zeebreezin]

Before leaving for the Neath, to find his daughter’s killer, August Shaw told only one person: his wife. His letter was poorly worded, rambling, and utterly incoherent. Before leaving to complete his Ambition, heading into Parabola on a quest he does not think he will return from, Shaw did not want to make the same mistake. The following messages were addressed to (In order): @neathyingenue ‘s Silvia Salcedo, @gmalaart ‘s Emon Cavendish, @elleryhart ‘s Ellery , @viric-dreams ‘s Robin Jones, @letheology ‘s Mina Azoulai, @capn-twitchery ‘s Twitch, and @t6fs, here addressed as Logan.

[You haven’t heard from Shaw in several days, any mail you sent has gone unanswered. A letter arrives out of nowhere, written in his curling handwriting. The script is messy, blotted with ink and wine.] “Dear Silvia, I apologise for the state of myself as I write this, though you must understand that this message is of the utmost importance. The time for half truths and polite obfuscation is past, between us. I will not insult you by dancing around the truth. When I first came to London, I came with only one purpose: to avenge the death of my daughter, Lenore, and to meet my own end in the process. Since then, well. I’ve found something quite worth remaining for. I set off now to end what I have started, and I may not return. For that I am so, so sorry. You have become… so much to me, Silvia. In all your endeavours, I wish you the best. Your talent and passion for what is right has inspired me, and I’m sure you have inspired many. I am proud to consider you family, a bond not forged by blood but by ink and will. I… I hope you will be well. No matter what happens. If I do not return, know that I am deeply proud of you. Your Friend, August Shaw.”

- x - x -

[The letter does not arrive on paper. It is scrawled across the cosmogone sky, familiar handwriting curling across the surface of parabola like a rock skipping across the surface of a lake.] “My Dearest Emon, it rends my heart to know that I cannot send you this letter. I dare not post it, knowing the reflection that takes your place.” [A few words are heavily scratched out.] “I have no idea if I will see you again, you as I know you, vibrant and sharp and maddeningly brilliant. I wish, more than anything, you were at my side. If I return from the journey I now set out to take, know that I will find you. My window of opportunity is brief, and I cannot linger, though I know how selfish it must seem. I set off now to defeat the ghosts that haunt me, to lay my daughter to rest. When I began, I thought that this would be my undoing, a death I welcomed. Now, though. I must succeed. I will find you again, Emon. These words will reach you - they must. I have to return. Wherever you may be, know that… I will find you, my love. Yours, Always, August Shaw.”

- x - x -

[A stained letter is delivered to you by an anonymous urchin. It’s dated to a few days after you left on your trip… the handwriting is familiar.] “Dear Ellery Hart, I hope this letter reaches you well. I’ve scheduled it to be delivered as soon as you return, as its contents are quite important to me. Once you receive this, I will have already departed on a journey. I dare not tell you where I go, or why, but know that-” [A section of text is scratched out.] “I may not return. In such a case, I… Where do I begin? You’ve come so far in the time I’ve known you, Ellery. In all senses, I’m deeply proud of the man you’ve grown into. Wherever your path takes you after this hunt, I know you will do well. If this is goodbye, then know that I count you both amongst my finest pupils, and amongst my dearest friends. Hunt well, Ellery. Your Friend, August Shaw.”

- x - x -

[The dead drop has remained quiet for a while now. The next missive you receive from the Black Rook isn’t encoded, or tucked away - it’s left in your mailbox, like any other letter.] “Dear Jones, I apologise for the unorthodox - or perhaps more accurately, deeply orthodox - method of communication. This message has nothing to do with our work, though I understand if you dispose of it as if it was. Simply put, I am… leaving London, for a time. This journey is not one I had expected to return from for a long time, but I know that I will be fighting to return to the city now. Should all go wrong, well, I know that we have not always seen eye to eye. I know that I may never truly win back your trust, something that would be well within your rights. But I could not leave in good conscience without saying goodbye. The letters we used to send, as Suzette and Jacques, they provided me a great deal of light during my darkest days. After everything I am, in truth, not sure what to call us. But whatever you are to me, Robin Jones, I hope I get to see you again, once all this is over. Play Well, August Shaw.”

- x - x -

[Shaw hasn’t been at the university for a while, now. A letter is slipped into your desk when you return to Benthic, tucked neatly into the top drawer. No cipher, plain script - this isn’t a game.] “Dear Mina, I hope the Khante has been treating you well. I’m unsure as to when you’ll be back, and a part of me hopes that this letter will be quickly corrected by my presence at your door, but nevertheless. I’m setting off on a mission, you could say, one of great personal significance. One I am unsure if I will return from. In the case I… do not return, I leave my network to you, Mina. Take this letter to Demirkan, he will know what to do. …We can do great things with this Game we play. We have done great things. I trust you to carry on that, if I cannot. You have been a great friend to me, and a most trusted confidant. I can only hope that I do not betray that trust now. Your Friend, August Shaw.”

- x - x -

[A letter from your former protege arrives, carried by bat. It’s uncommon enough that he’s writing to you, but the contents of the letter are stranger still.] “Dear Captain Lazaret, I must apologise for the suddenness of this letter. I hope it finds you well, and in a space where you can read it without fearing immediate retribution. Though I know we only occasionally brush paths these days, it seemed unwise to not inform you of my current state of affairs. Simply put, Captain, I’m going to be away from London for some time, and I am unsure if I will ever see home waters again. For all my gripes and bristles (and indeed, all the years I fear you’ve taken off my life) I could not have become the man I am today without your guidance. I know I may have seemed ungrateful, but… well, thank you for all you taught me. And for all the times we have spent together, many of which were at the worst lows of my time down below. You are vexing, and caustic, and I dare say my days in London would be a great deal duller without knowing you. Let none of my sarcasm lead to you forgetting this fact, Captain - as you are indeed someone I owe a great deal of happiness to. I hope to see you again. Your Friend, August Shaw.”

- x - x -

[Shaw’s not home, when you return to London, but tonight, six apocyan eyes beckon you to the window. Laying out is a phonograph, one Nigel plays, though there’s no music recorded - just Shaw’s voice, thick with emotion.] “Logan, I- /ˈdæmɪt/, I hope this thing is working right. I hope you’re well? The Tomb Colonies, can be quite draining, I know. I… I’ve left this for you, as I didn’t quite trust my No`çuk" script, and… well, this is quite serious.” [A pause. The sound of drumming fingers on the table.] “This is harder to say than I thought, I, ah…” [A deep, shaky breath.] “The reason I first came to London was not a good one. My daughter had been- she had been taken from me. I came here for revenge, to find the one who’d… and, in all honesty, to lose myself in the process. Now, I’ve left to finish what I’ve started. If I do not return, I… Logan, you’ve become so dear to me. The kindness you’ve shown me, all of it… it is something I will never forget. You are impossible, magnificent… and I love you. Terribly so. What else is there to say?” [A laugh, clearly through tears.] “I will find you, if I make it back. I swear. Xïmo`tu`no` szokh, Muszhka`. If I can’t, I… no. I will. I love you, Logan.” [The recording ends there. Nigel offers it to you.]

- x - x -

[ileftherbackhome]

i think the thing i hated the most about the public abuse campaign against amber heard in 2022 is that even well-intentioned but ignorant people to the entirety of the details in the case were saying things like "amber is an imperfect victim but she is still a victim" because they knew she would fight back and would try and negotiate with her abuser sometimes instead of just leaving like society thinks you should do.

and this is building off the previous post about the two types of child abuse because it allows applies to how we treat domestic violence as a society as well. amber heard was a perfect victim, her abuse story was textbook open and shut.

she grew up in an household witnessing DV between her parents. she is a bisexual woman. she was a young starting actress when she met johnny depp, at half his age. at this time, depp ALREADY had a history of public drunkness and violence because he was well into his 40s, maybe 50s at the time.

he was amazing to her in the first months of dating, maybe even a year. then he hit her for the first time after she makes a joke at his expense and she was shocked.

she knew abuse was wrong. she knew the behavior was unacceptable. but this wasnt her boyfriend. this wasnt the man she knew. she had never seen him act this way before, there were no signs up until now. he was so loving. he was drunk and probably high anyways. maybe it was a one time thing. he was so sorry afterwards. she gave him another chance because it had been months of living together (or at the very least spending weeks holed up with one another only!!!!!! red flag af) in perfect harmony at this point.

he goes back to normal. things are better than before. he pulls out all the stops. hes caring towards her friends and family. she feels like he cares about her safety still at this point. obviously he didnt want to hurt her. obviously he just lost control.

it happened again. and again. and again. each time the cycle gets faster. each time, the abuse more violent.

it leads to sexual assault. she's married him at this point. this is on their honeymoon i believe. she feels embarrassed. she spent 5 years putting up with him. she feels the most violated ever. she doesn't know what to do. she's ashamed. she tries to make it work again.

it leads to the worst attack on her life. she was worried she was going to die. over a dog shitting on their bed when she was out of town. her friend called the police to de escalate the situation because he wasnt listening to anyone's explanations and accusing everyone of conspiring against him. it sounded lethal over the phone. they were worried for her safety.

the police come but everyone has already calmed down at that point. she is ashamed of what has happened so publically at this point. she knows she cant stay. she knows he doesnt care about her safety finally. she leaves. she files for divorce and alleges abuse as the reason why.

she has YEARS of testimony. he paid doctors to drug her. he wrote awful texts about wanting to rape her corpse. he called her a lesbian camp counselor and made her apologise for being bisexual and having women friends. there are videos of him being violent and slamming doors around her drunk and incoherent rambling. you can tell she doesnt want him to see the camera but she needs the proof. she knows nobody will believe her without proof.

she has dozens many hundreds of photos of the abuse. she has MEDICAL TESTIMONY FROM HER THERAPISTS AND HIS THERAPIST HE FORCED HER TO ATTEND WITH HIM.

he convinces her to drop the abuse allegations and sign AN NDA after a hours long conversation his lawyer would leak to the public in a future lawsuit as part of a smear campaign against her.

she waits until he speaks publically about the abuse allegations in an interview before she writes an article about protecting women legally who are abuse victims and states she was "a figure representing domestic violence publically" or something to that affect.

he files a defamation lawsuit against her and the newpapers calling him a wife beater as a result. he loses in a country where liberaci won his defamation lawsuit for the press calling him gay publically.

he files another defamation lawsuit against her, a tactic that is well documented as an abuser DARVO tactic online with advocacy groups everywhere. he files it in a country with terrible media laws and in a state with even worse laws protecting DV victims.

he gets a famous alt right misinformation company to spend thousands of dollars running a social media smear campaign with bots.

he wins the defamation lawsuit because people genuinely believe a grown woman alleging abuse shat in this man's bed as an elaborate plot to abuse him and steal his money and fame or something??????????????

this is like clear cut perfect victimhood. if amber heard isnt a perfect victim, who the fuck is??????

not that i agree with perfect versus imperfect victimhood because its such a gross concept imho to ascribe to but like she is definitely a perfect victim.

and it all stems from the fact that society doesnt understand how someone can choose to stay with an abusive partner for years before leaving that relationship. society doesn't understand how someone can grow up witnessing abuse as a sign of love and that changing their perspecting on what real love should look like.

idk like i genuinely think about amber heard all the fucking time and all the abuse victims that summer destroyed emotionally and mentally witnessing yall behave like that. and yall just moved on. yall moved on. you ruined that woman's life and all she wanted to do was be honest about her truth and be believed. yall stole that from her and you told every abuse victim watching that you are not a safe person to be around and then yall just... moved on.

well im still at the restaurant, this is the corner im haunting for the rest of my life. i cannot accept it, it breaks my heart when i think about it.

[glubsurleseuil]

Don't be scared - Chapter 1

This is the first chapter - Next

A Pennywise X F!Reader fanfic 'cause I need to get these ideas out of my head before they eat me up. I'll post this thing on AO3 when I'm not so lazy to create an account. If I go ahead with it, it'll be NSFW, sexually disturbing, gory, violent, reader is an autistic drepressed suicidal girl… In short, skip it if you're a sensitive soul. For the rest of you, enjoy (I hope).

(Note: It was translated by Deepl, English is not my mother tongue, so I apologise for any mistakes. If you want to correct me, don't hesitate!)

(Note 2: The image is by @fandomscreenshots but you should already know that because what she does is amazing)

You've always lived in Derry, Maine. Well, actually you were born in Derry, went to school in Derry and, like any good citizen, you now work in Derry. You don't like it, you never have, and you know that no matter what you do, you'll never like it.

Firstly, because no matter how hard you try since childhood, you just can't seem to make any friends. Worse, people seem to have agreed to shut you out and hate you. At best, they ignore you, at worst… well, let's just say there are certain people you've learned to avoid at all costs, so you don't have to spend the evening licking your wounds…

Secondly, because there's something unhealthy about the general atmosphere of this town, as if it were being devoured by a cancer that affected not only the surrounding greenery, but also the buildings and even the people. A cancer that could be called suffering, melancholy or despair. And although no one knows where these feelings come from, everyone seems to accept them as an inevitable burden.

Tonight, like most evenings, you're working at the Canal Rouge, a rather quiet bar where people can drink and listen to local artists perform on a small stage. You're a waitress, and it's not the most pleasant of jobs, especially when you're a woman. Fortunately, your boss is a woman too, and she's very strict about the respect customers show her staff, so things could be a lot worse.

But tonight, you're in a particularly bad mood. Fatigue has always been a difficult thing for you to deal with, and lately your nights have been… tormented. You've been having a dream, always the same with little difference, on and off for over a week. It's a hazy, dark, incoherent dream that's hard to remember. What you remember most is anguish, fear… and an unbearable feeling of being watched by something dangerous, making you feel like prey waiting to be devoured. When your therapist asked you to describe this dream, even with random words, you said 'fear', 'red' and… 'clown'. You laughed after saying that last word, a nervous, uncontrolled laugh, like a continuation of the one you always hear in this dream before waking up.

But tonight, the worst is yet to come, because you have to serve Jenny's gang as consumers, young people your own age who, like you, are stuck in Derry and like to pass the time by annoying other people. Especially you, since you met them in kindergarten. You know you won't be able to get home safely tonight…

And your fears are confirmed as you finish your shift. As you emerge into the alley to which the service door leads, you see them laughing at the end of it, looking in your direction. This is the way home. You quickly think of another option, but you know that even if you take a longer route, they'll be able to corner you sooner or later, and that's what they'll do. Unless… you go through the forest…

You don't hesitate, knowing that your pursuers won't follow. Their parents have given them the same instructions as you: never go into the forest at night. Ever. Your father had made it clear that he meant business by emphasizing his order with the back of his hand. But tonight, you're a grown-up, and between your dead father's old superstitions and Jenny and her gang's guaranteed beating, the choice was quickly made.

You head into the forest, at first more worried about your pursuers who, as expected, quickly abandon their target. Then you decide to turn on the torch on your phone, as it quickly becomes very dark between the tightly packed trees in the middle of the night. You recognize the path you're on and follow it to the ancient oak tree where you used to climb as a child to escape the bullies. But even this place, reassuring by day, gives off a menacing aura by night…

All is quiet, too quiet for a forest where animals should be going about their nocturnal lives. You get the impression that a kind of fog is floating around, light but unnatural, and as you look at the thick branches of the oak tree, you get a strange feeling… Like a memory from another life… Like a dream…

Suddenly, there's a sound. A sound you know well, having heard it every night for over a week. A laugh. A clown's laugh… You turn in all directions, shining your phone in every nook and cranny around the oak. And just as you realize that there's nothing there, that maybe it's your imagination playing tricks on you, the laughter starts up again. You jump back against the tree, light pointed ahead, anticipating the appearance of someone, something… The laughter becomes more distinct, closer… But it's not coming from in front of you, nor from the sides… It comes… from above?

With a quick gesture, you point the light towards the branches of the oak tree and there, hidden in the shadows of the leaves, you see it: a clown. No, THE clown. The one who has haunted your dreams, distressed your nights, devoured your sanity. This present moment has repeated itself endlessly in your nightmare and now it's all happening for real, clear as day and just as terrifying.

With a muffled scream, you drop your phone, the lamp face down and your legs buckling beneath you. The little light that escapes from beneath your phone only faintly illuminates the bottom of the tree, but you know IT's there.

And it's not long before he leaps down from the tree. You can only make out a silhouette in the darkness, and as you hear him coming closer, you try to remember the end of the dream. It's all a blur, and all that comes back is a vague memory of a hunt in which you are the prey… Back on the grassy ground, you pull yourself back as best you can with your hands, never taking your eyes off the presence. Is this how you're going to die?

He moves slowly closer, slipping into the shadows. You can make out that he's leaning forward, then addressing you in a childlike voice.

"Hiya Y/N! I'm Pennywise, the dancing clown!"

He suddenly picks up your phone from the floor, pulling it up slowly, light downwards, gradually revealing his appearance as he continues.

"I've been looking forward to meeting you, you know? Don't be scared, I'm not going to kill you…"

As he utters these words, light finally shines on his face, reflected in his abnormally large and sharp teeth, piercing yellow eyes focused on you, and horror fills you.

"… yet."

The instinct to survive gives you new energy. You leap to your feet and flee the way you came, briefly illuminated by your phone in the clown's hands. You run at full speed, ignoring the noises behind you that make you think he's chasing you. If you've got a chance of getting away, you're going to take it. In fact, the forest exit isn't far off. One last push! You close your eyes and accelerate again… when hands often clutch your collar, brutally stopping your momentum.

"There you are, you bastard!"

"I told you she'd come back! She's such a pussy!"

"No way out now, you bitch!"

Jenny and her gang… It was Tim, the big muscular guy who caught you. They were waiting for you just outside the forest…

"Why are you running so fast? Are you afraid of the big bad wolf?"

They burst out laughing, but the sound reaches you distorted. The adrenalin from your run is wearing off too slowly and you can still hear your heart pounding in your eardrums. You struggle on, your brain unable to make sense of what has just happened. Suddenly, you hear a foul noise. A kind of hoarse, inhuman growl, coming out of the depths of the woods like an echo to their pitiful mocking laughter. You feel Tim's hands trembling with uncontrollable fear on your collar and watch their faces disintegrate before your eyes. Tim lets go and they all flee in a single scream of terror, leaving you behind.

You turn around, your body still tired from your frantic run, and you quickly understand what made them flee: golden eyes, shining menacingly in the darkness, perched on a huge, muscular, fur-covered figure, its multiple sharp teeth accentuating the evil growl rolling down its throat. A werewolf.

You barely have time to realize that it's the clown from earlier before he disappears between the trees with a hoot that sends shivers down your spine. Just as you regain your strength to flee, something falls near you. You examine it carefully: it's your phone, and as you turn the screen towards you, you see a message written in a torn red font:

DON'T BE SCARED

You don't wait any longer and run towards town without looking back.

[konigsblog]

I humbly request some kidnapper!Konig content because I can never get enough of it and I feel like it's been a hot minute since you wrote any and then I saw that post about it today and all of my neurones activated 😩😩 can't get enough of that man I swear

please i need more kidnapper!könig and dadbod!könig requests, pleaseeeeee :((( :((( :((((

grrr :( i bet he has such a high libido, desperate for your trust and affection :( he just can't get enough of you; how obedient you are, how eager you are to allow him to fuck your asshole for the first time, restrained with rope and his body pressed against yours. he's spooning you, your wrists tied to the bed frame, bound and rubbing against your soft skin, causing friction and rope burn ...

you whine, whimpering as he holds your thigh up, mumbling out something incoherent that gets ignored, droolin' due to the ballgag :( he eases inside slowly, unable to control his pace. he hits your ass with a ‘thump’ the sounds of skin slapping echoing throughout the four walls, cryin' his name as he fucks you relentlessly :( you feel so weak and vulnerable beneath him, he's so brooding and large, able to bend you over and ruin you !!!

thick, lengthy dick stuffed into your ass, thrusting a few times before increasing his pace and pounding into you while forcing you to maintain eye contact. his thick austrian accent prominent as he degrades and humilates you, making your eyes watery and glassy as he slams into you, fucking his cum deeper :((( how embarrased you are to be fucked by your kidnapper!!! panting and attempting to wrigge away while he cockwarms you, keeping his thick, heavy size in your asshole all night :(

definitely fucks you and bounces you up and down, taking a little break from writing reports, shoving you down on his dick with a mean pace after you'd been naughty and attempted to leave through the bolted shut windows -- how stupid you are... all whiney as he fucks deeper into you, growling lowly as throwing his head back as he feels himself in your stomach, cumming deep into your hole and filling you with potent seed :( you sob hard and cry into his chest foe support while he lectures you and spanks your ass occasionally, a jolt rushing through you as he gropes you ass, pussy still dripping and drowning in juices and thick, hot load :((((

aghh, fucking you against the wall as punishment, keeping you in the basement till you're apologising profusely and begging to get out, hating the memories down there :( “dirty fucking slut. you know better, engel...” he chuckles lowly as you squeal, grasping at his shoulders as he bullies his stiff, huge cock deeper into you. face tearstained and raw as he leaves you with his cum oozing out your tightness, using a bucket of warm water and a towel to wash you, not even giving you privacy nor decency as a further punishment!!

[bambimeadows]

MW men leaving you to go away on a mission

A/n: my first time writing for modern warfare in general, I hope you like it 😔 Nervous

Consists of Gaz, Graves, Price, soap, ghost, alejandro and Rudy

Mostly pure fluff, but angst for Ghost and Graves, because in my mind they’d be problematic boyfriends/husbands

Warning: swearing, suggestive themes but no explicit smut, gender neutral reader (if there are errors that indicate other wise I apologise but I tried my best to make reader as ambiguous as possible) I haven’t proof read as best I could, if I fixate on making it perfect I will never post the silly little thing.

Requests are welcome 🍷 I’m open to writing pretty much anything (within reason👻)

🇬🇧 Kyle “Gaz” Garrick 🇬🇧 (my favourite)

It’s 4am, but Kyle is already freshly showered and suited up to go on his next mission.

This is an all too familiar Deja vu moment for you, the sliver of light coming from the bathroom into your bedroom, the pungent citrusy aroma of his shower gel and aftershave. You pretend to be asleep, all the while your heart sinks further and further down your chest until it’s feels like it lies in the pit of your stomach.

You like to watch him discretely, peeking out from behind the duvet to observe him as he bustles around quickly, he’s expertly quiet, almost elegant in his movements, tucking things into his bag while he sips his coffee. You adored the way he looked when he thought no one was watching, when he was safe, a peaceful, docile look on his beautiful face, the expressions he pulled as he processed his thoughts with himself.

He hums a tune very quietly, something vapid and silly from the radio. He bends down to scratch behind the ears of your cat who had come to brush round his legs. “Look after them for me, mate.”

How you love the bones of him

You’ve always ask him to wake you up so you can see him off before he leaves, he never does. Somehow he can be up at a specific time without an alarm, you’re not quite sure how he does, and the success rate is too high for it to be a fluke. His logic for not waking you up is that it doesn’t matter either way, you’re better off with your rest and he’ll be back in no time, no tearful goodbyes we’re needed. Of course, the night before he leaves, the feeling in your gut and the rampant racing of your thoughts wouldn’t allow you the privilege of sleeping in anyway.

You keep your eyes shut lightly, steady and slow your breathing to mimic sleep.

As you keep your eyes closed you feel his presence near you, hear the rustle of his clothes and gear as he bends down and rubs his thumb across your cheek in impossibly feathery motions. You can picture his expression like it always is in these moments, his chocolatey eyes turning soft and hazy, his mouth resting in a tiny little pout of endearment, like his heart had just melted to goo his chest.

“You still asleep babe?” He mutters.

He waits for a few counts, and then once satisfied you’re still allegedly in your slumber he places a kiss to your forehead. “Back soon, promise. I love you,” comes the impossibly gentle whisper. He strokes your face a few more times, both hands brushing over your cheeks and forehead. It becomes hard to keep up the facade but you hold steady until he walks away.

It makes you crumble, the notion that he thought you were asleep yet still performed such a gesture, he wasn’t trying to comfort you, he was just trying to enjoy you for himself before he left.

It’s as your hear him open the front door that you call to him, as best you can, that you love him too.

He appears back in the doorway of your bedroom in an instant, with a ghost of an earnest grin gracing his face. You hold each others gaze for a moment before he’s making his way back over to you, grabbing your face and kissing you on the lips, he envelopes you in his arms in a firm, lingering embrace.

“Do you really have to go?” You mumble sleepily into his shoulder.

He hummed something incoherent, rubbing his hands up your sleeping shirt, to feel the skin of your back.

“Can’t you call in sick?”

He chuckles, its always such a sweet, rich sound, it’s the vocal equivalent to honey and cinnamon, it makes you hold him tighter. “I don’t think it works like that, babe.”

“What if you had like… a broken leg?”

“That’s a good point actually,” he says, releasing you and standing up again, feigning sincerity in pondering the idea. “Okay. Come on, come push me down the stairs.”

You giggle at him, spurned on by his playful grin. “Then you’d just be laid in hospital for weeks.”

“Yeah,” he leaned down to kiss you again briefly. “But we’d be together wouldn’t we?”

You nod, and before you know it, you feel a tear start to trickle down your face. Before you can wipe it away his hand is on your face, and he’s still smiling, just more fervently, he pours all his heart into his special, profound and reassuring little smiles, just for you.

“It’s okay, I promise it is. It will fly by. I won’t be gone too long this time. And it’s not too dangerous either.”

You nod, you share another kiss with him and he presses his forehead to yours for a moment, shutting his eyes before sighing and leaving you with a few /I love you/s

Just as you prepare to be alone, he appears again, the bright grin back on his face, pointing a finger at you. “And don’t watch the new season of Bridgeton while I’m gone, okay? Strictly off limits. I mean it. If I have to wait, so do you. We’re gonna watch it together.”

You throw your head back and laugh at him, pure joy from your stomach, and you shake your head quickly.

“I’m gonna watch it right now.”

He shakes his head. “Nah, you wouldn’t do that to me. I’ll just delete the account, no problem.”

He makes his way back down the hall.

“Show a bit of solidarity, yeah?” He calls as he’s making his way down the stairs. “Love you babe!”

And then he’s gone, and although you do shed a few tears, you can’t help but smile as you do.

🇺🇸 Phillip Graves 🇺🇸

You find that on the mornings Graves is due away on a mission, he can be almost cold - and he is not a cold partner or even person in general most of the time. You personally couldn’t discern why he became brusque and distant, keeping you at arms length, but you knew he was a busy man, too much on his mind perhaps.

You tried your best to be accommodating to him, staying out of his way, putting on a brave face, acting as if he was just popping to the office for a few hours, even making him a plate of his standard bacon and eggs, with his creamy sugary coffee.

“‘Preciate it,” he sighed, he placed a piece of bacon in his mouth as he flipped through some paperwork. “Shouldn’t be gone too long this time, alright?”

You didn’t answer, just continue scrubbing the pan of it’s grease.

“You hear me, darlin’?”

“I hear you,” you respond, turning around and you can feel your face is like stone, you’re still scrubbing. “Happy to hear it.”

He picks up his coffee mug and takes a sip, his eyes landing on you as you’re drying off a spatula. “Don’t look like that. Wipe that pout off your face.”

You clang the cooking utensil back where it belongs. “…Whatever Phill, I’m going back to bed.”

He gave you his signature /look/, it was something only akin to how a father gave a warning signal to his child, pointed, widened eyes, a terse little mouth. “That’s how you’re gonna see me off? What if I don’t come back?”

You feel your face crumple and swallow the harsh, stinging lump in your throat. “You always come back. You tell me you’re not in any real danger.”

“Right,” he retorts and clanks his mug down firmly. “I’ll hurry up and go then. Seems as if you’re looking forward to it.”

You watch him, cross-armed, as he begins to pick up his bags, “See you soon,” he calls over his shoulder and then the door slams shut.

You curse under your breath as you cross the living room to open the front door and walk out onto your driveway, arms still crossed to keep your robe wrapped around your body, the morning chill rippling the fabric against your skin.

He sees you and squints his eyes in puzzlement, but you merely open the passenger door and slip in the car next to him.

“Y/n,” he starts, raising an eyebrow, but you’re already lurched over with your arms draped around his neck, your face finding the toasty, musk scented crook of his neck. It only takes him a few moments to return the gesture and then some, scooping you across into his lap.

“Aw, come on baby, please don’t get like this on me,” he mumbles, a tinge of anguish to his tone as he rubs your back. “It’s like you said, I always come back.”

You pull away, climbing back in the passenger seat. “Everytime you have to leave, you act like you don’t even like me.”

He scoffed and shook his head quickly, turning away from you. “Come on, y/n, what are we? Teenagers? I’m just busy getting ready.”

You continue to glare holes into the side of his skull before he sighs, visibly deflating, his shoulder sinking down further, his back finally coming loose. “Alright, alright. Truth is…”

You wait patiently for him to wrap his tongue around whatever it is he needs to say, eventually he turns to you, placing a hand on your thigh. “… I just feel guilty leaving you. And getting all sentimental with ya in these times, well it just makes me feel worse. So I try my best not to. Selfish I know.”

He levels you with a pained look, eyebrows furrowed. “Sorry darlin.”

“Why do you feel guilty?”

“You being alone so much, having to wait around for me. Maybe if you had a man with a normal job-“

“I don’t want to hear any of that,” you cut in. “I choose you. And I know being with you comes with sacrifice, but I accept it all. You’re worth it.”

He lets out a joyless breathy chuckle, turning his gaze to his lap. “Am I though? Are you sure?”

You nod enthusiastically. “You’re the most amazing and beautiful man I’ve ever met, and will ever meet.”

“And I feel the same about you, but you give me the world,” he tells you. “And I… don’t do the same for you.”

“You do everything for me. Literally everything. Give me so much.”

He places his hands on the steering, as if he’s bracing himself.

“But I have to leave you all the time. And I don’t know, to me that makes everything I do for you seem like… nothing. I know you get lonely. Sometimes I worry that you’ll…”

He swallows and shakes his head to himself, “…never mind.”

You take a moment to process the revelation, your cheeks burn at the notion he could suspect you of cheating, but what was more striking was that everything you hadn’t been previously sure of made sense right then and there, like puzzle piece clicking into place to complete the whole grand picture. “You’re talking bullshit. But I wish you had told me how you felt sooner. And I would never, for the record, and never have.“

He took your hand in his, staring into your eyes with almost a desperation, it was spell-bounding to see him fold for you, to see his sapphire blue puppy eyes grow round, sad, misty, longing. “I’m a good boyfriend to you the rest of the time though, right?”

He’s genuinely asking, his breath is almost hitched in his throat. In this moment you see it, and you can’t see how you didn’t see it before, the apprehension, the nerves, the uncertainty. It made you want to take him by the hand, lead him back inside and get him back into bed where you could hold each other and you could whisper praise and words of adoration into his ear. You had a suspicion he was still only being partially transparent.

You didn’t want to believe he was scared, if he was scared, it made way for so much indecision and suspense.

You knew you’d have to start thinking of him as a mere mortal, and not the pristine, perfect machine he tried to portray himself as, it had been very indulgent and almost lazy, complacent even, to adopt that view of him, even if he had pushed it onto you. “You’re good to me all of the time,” you conclude.

You give him a final kiss, lay a hand on his arm before you leave the car.

“I’ll see you soon baby,” he murmurs.

You nod quickly, but as you turn your back you’re choking back your tears.

💀Simon “Ghost” Riley 💀 (oh my god his is so long)

“You awake love?” A huge hand shakes your shoulder firmly.

You mumble something incoherent and emit a small groan, rolling over to your side to see your boyfriend sat on the edge of the bed, his vast figure illuminated by the amber hue of the lamplight.

With that damned mask on no less. With the damned mask on…

“I am now, what’s up?”

He’s bent down to lace up his boots. “Gotta go. Gonna be away for a while.”

“Go where?”

“You know I can’t say.”

You sat up now, too quickly and it made your head swim. You feel the tinge of outrage on your skin, you tried to swallow the gravel in your throat, willing your face to stop heating up by the second. “Ooo,” you bite sarcastically, and sizzling acidic venom is dripping from your tongue, because he’s done it again. “You definitely told me you were going away, didn’t you? Thanks for letting me know in advance.”

“Sorry, it’s a last minute thing.”

“Bollocks is it,” you grumble.

He rises back up and twists his torso to look at you, raising a hand to place on your arm but you shrug it off aggressively.

The skull gazes at you for a moment, his hand recoiling back to his side. “Knew I should have left you asleep,” he concluded. “Knew you were gonna be a dickhead about it. This is why I don’t tell you fuck all.”

You struggle not to see red, you feel the special sort of anger only he can inspire start to creep and curl up your veins, as if you were frosting over. The fury for him was like a chained up beast, becoming more difficult to keep subdued the more he pushed, the more he tested you to see how much you’d let him get away with.

“That’s what you did last time,” you say, levelling him with a hard glare of ice and stone. “And it messed me up.”

You see his shoulders move up and down in what you assume was a tiny scoff. “Don’t say that. You’re exaggerating.”

“Don’t tell me how I felt, or how I feel,” you voice is sharp with defiance, but it seems to bounce off of him, it goes right over his head.

His phone, the burner phone, buzzed. He glanced at it and it was some sort indication to move. He stood up, his gigantic form looming over the bed, over you.

It would be a terrifying sight if you didn’t know what existed beneath that gear, behind that haunting mask.

Just yesterday the two of you had had the best day in a long time. You walked your dog through the woodlands for hours, you watched movies all afternoon and then in the evening he took you to your favourite restaurant, something you knew he despised. He hated public settings, it was as if they made him itch. Walking through the local shopping centre was difficult enough with him, his bad moods never failed to rub off on you and you would both come home mentally and emotionally depleted.

He much preferred dinner at home, he liked to cook, he liked to cook with you, shoulder to shoulder, the radio on or the tv humming away in the background, or he liked to order a Chinese and have you in his lap afterwards as you zoned out in front of the tv or watched him play a video game. It didn’t matter really, he always preferred the two of you alone, but he had pushed the boat out for you yesterday. He had been so unbelievably sweet.In fact he had been profoundly sweet all week…

You feel your emotional chest wound deepen gradually at the realisation. No, he had known, for weeks at best, a couple months at worst. You weren’t stupid. Perhaps he’d be better off with someone stupid, with zero perception, metaphorically blind. You could have been, and you were at first with him. The beautiful warmth that shone through the cracks of the glacial man, just for you, almost euphoric, almost drug like, stifling your senses, your common sense.

To have him soften for you, the way he took care of you, subtly adored you, guided you, soothed you, protected you, saved you from even the most minor discomfort.

You always said you wanted the sweetest man, but self indulgently it was the man who had no patience or time for anyone else in the world except for you that made you feel so… special, you dare say substantial. He had something angelic that was reserved only for you. He despised everyone, had distain for everything, but you… he just revelled in you. It blew your mind to this day.

That flame is always snuffed out by instances like this.

“Why can’t you just tell me when you have to go somewhere, Simon?” You try weakly.

He sighs loudly this time, his sighs and expression of agitation were usually used to silence you, to dismiss you, but this time it seemed genuine, like he’s run out of ideas for you. “Um,” he announces, raising a hand to scratch at the back of his head. “I don’t know, to be honest. Sorry.”

You feel your stomach turn in revolt, it was the worst possible answer. “You’re actually a joke, I hope you know that.”

“Maybe I am,” his voice is still so husky but loud, crystalline, inappropriately so in the silence of the early hours, it plays at your ears, makes them tingle. “Maybe this time apart will do us good.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know, you can think about whether this is really the life you want.”

You furrow your brow, shaking your head in despair, you dig your finger nails into the bed, still warmed by his body, the great heat he emitted.

“What?” You lean forward, glaring accusingly, you feel your heart start to race, your lips tremor, your face burn. “You don’t care either way?”

His phone, the one you recognise to be his burner phone, buzzes, he looks at it and you can tell it’s a signal he needs to start moving.

“All I do is hurt you,” he murmurs, bending down to zip up his bag, he swings it over his shoulder.

“So don’t,” you throw your hands up in the air. “All you had to do was mention it. If you didn’t want me to make a big deal out of it I wouldn’t. If you needed space to prepare I would have given it to you.”

The phone buzzes again. “I have to go.”

But you’re climbing off the bed, racing to stand in his way. A bad decision, and you feel a twinge of guilt as soon as you do it.

“Y/n, please.”

“Do you want to be with me?”

“…I do.”

“So why do you do these things?” You can feel the tears dribble down your face now, you hand dashes up to wipe them away.

He’s silent for a moment, the skull stares down at you, contemplating, blinking slowly.

“Do you like seeing me hurt?”

“No.”

“Is this all some big game to you, do you get off on this?”

“No.”

“Are you trying to push me away?”

“I- No. I don’t really want you to go anywhere. I think you’re kind of stupid for staying with me sometimes, but I am grateful.”

You ignore the sting of the latter sentence, opting to focus on his initial statement.

“So why can’t you be honest with me?” You question, crossing your arms over yourself, trying to sooth the anxiety and distress that was settling into your bones. “If you want me to stay?”

He heaves another sigh and mutters a /fucking ‘ell/ under his breath. You don’t let his frustration deter you, or the fact he needs to be out the door. He perches on the arm of the sofa and pulls his mask off, gripping it in his hands, he stares down at it.

You watch his Adonis-esque face, his eyes have dimmed like he’s died inside. A small snag of guilt sets in, you’re aggravating him before a mission, it’s the opposite of what he needs, maybe this is why he doesn’t tell you.

“Do you know what, just go, Simon-“

“I didn’t,” he begins, he hesitates and then sighs, he shakes his head to himself before continuing. “I don’t want you to spend months counting down the days until I leave. I don’t want you to feel…/sad/.”

You pause, taking in the statement, and then place a hand on his arm, the barrier of his gear and heavy clothes making it seem like you were hardly even touching him.

“It’s okay to be a little bit sad sometimes.”

“Yeah,” he shrugs. “But I just want you to be your normal self.”

“Why?” You retort, automatically, eager to understand, the rare moment of openness driving you feral at the notion to syphon more information.

He places the mask back on and stands up again. “I really have to leave.”

You follow him to the front door, he pretends that you’re not. As he opens it you place a hand around his bicep and he stops, not bothering to turn around. He stands under the roof of the porch, the rain pummels down on to your driveway, you feel the spray and bitter breeze as it splashes down.

“Is it because… you think they might be our last days together?

“Yes,” he snipes back quickly, his irritation running deep through his voice.

You pull him back and he lets you, he even turns around and places his hands on your shoulder, establishing a firm grip, he stares down at you, slipping his eyes onto your as best as he could with the mask on. “Look, I don’t think you could ever really understand what it’s like, what I go out there to do.”

“So just tell me,” you sigh exasperated, “I’m ready to know the truth.”

“I can’t,” he hisses almost desperately, because he’s told you this many times. “I’m not allowed. And I don’t think I’d want to anyway.”

You press your lips together, swallowing hard. “Is it really that dangerous?”

“It is,” he punctuates the confirmation with a slight shake of your shoulders. “It really is. I’m sorry. I don’t want you to be worried. But I can’t stand here and tell you I know for sure that I’ll be back. I wish I could do that for you.”

“You don’t have to apologise for that, Simon.”

The phone buzzes again, it makes you stomach knot into a tight ball. “We can talk about it more, I promise.”

“And if you don’t come back?”

He pauses, he gazes down at you for a few beats before he lifts a hands to his face and peels up his mask, he leans down to press a hard, fire filled, kiss to your mouth. “Just remember that I love you. And only you. You’re all I have. But you…you have so much without me.”

“Not true,” you whisper to him helplessly, the tears can’t be contained any longer, you actually hear one drip to the floor.

He tuts and mumbles again. He steps forward and wraps his arms around you, your head hits his chest. “I know I’m not suppose to go about things this way, I’m so shit at this, y/n. Im still figuring it out, I was never suppose to have you.”

You hum a noise of question into his mountain of a body, asking him to elaborate. “I mean… I was never suppose to get into a relationship. But you just… I grew complacent by letting you into my life.”

He pulled away from you, holding you at arms length. You stay silent, willing him to continue, your eyes almost silently pleading. “But I got so tired of being alone all the time. And then you… I knew I was fucked the day I met you.”

You shut your eyes, your mind briefly fleeting to how you had asked him out, twice, and how hesitant he had been, how cautious he was, before falling into you and attaching himself to you, entwining himself and everything he consisted of with you.

“Now that’s the most you’re getting out of me,” he spoke, pointing his finger at you, his voice back to cold terseness. “I’m making myself cringe ‘ere.”

Despite yourself you manage a tiny smile at him, wiping away another stray tear. “Please come back.”

“I’ll try my best, love,” he speaks, turning around to leave once again. “Just keep yourself busy.”

And then he’s gone, you’re still in shock.

🦌Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra🦌

“Todays the day,” you say, as you sip your coffee. “Came around so quick.”

Rodolfo runs a tender, lingering hand over your shoulder as he takes a seat next to you.

Like many other mornings, the two of you had come out into the small cliff side garden behind your home, to watch the sunrise. You had a vast view of the whole town from up here. Life didn’t seem mundane or real in transient moments like this.

“Yet all the time you’re gone, it always goes by so slow.”

“Enjoy it,” he quips, reclining back in his seat. “When I retire, I’m gonna be under your feet, clinging to you twenty four seven. You’ll be grateful for this time.”

You chuckle with him but shake your head sincerely regardless. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

You glance over at him, the gentle morning breeze ruffles his hair. He’s already dressed, ready to go in his jeans and t shirt, not strapped up with his gear yet, while you sit in your robe, the one that he claimed made his head swim.

You smile when he gazes back at you, and you can’t help the butterflies that flap their wings against your ribcage. He was just so beautiful, and more importantly he was well and truly yours. In every sense and aspect. His loyalty and dedication was profound and special, like the rarest gemstone.

“I can’t wait for you to retire actually,” you tell him as he takes your hand in his. “I can’t wait for you to be out of danger. It’s what I look forward to the most.”

His eyes soften for you, softer than they already are at his default. He has gentlest eyes you’ve ever seen, doe like, they’re the clearest indicator of what a humble, empathetic man he is. “I know, my love. I have no intention of doing this for longer than I have to.”

“Promise?”

“Of course,” he confirms nonchalantly, looking back out to the sunrise, the golden light reflecting off his face. “I know you can only truly be at peace once I leave it all behind. That’s what’s important to me.”

You turn to the look at the sunrise also with a small joyous laugh. “You’re the soppiest man I’ve ever met.”

He shrugged, rubbing circles into the back of your hand. “It’s like I’ve told you, deep down, I’m a lover, not a fighter. What can I say?”

“But are you a better lover, or are you a better fighter?” you turn to him, a teasing grin on your face.

“Oh,” He scoffed and a small smirk lit up his face, the boyishness he had left in him rising to the surface. “Don’t act like you don’t already know the answer to that. I’m happy to remind you before I leave, so it stays fresh in your memory, I still have a few hours.”

You laugh at him, but when you turn to him again he’s giving you a pointed look, something fiery glints in his eyes, his lips are pressed together earnestly. So you get up without a word, suppressing the haughty smile as you hear him follow you towards your bedroom.

He leaves with a kiss, a flurry of sweet nothings in your ear, and instead of feeling dismayed you feel hopeful. Optimistic. Less goodbyes were on the horizon from the sweetest man you had ever known.

🦚Alejandro Vargas🦚

On the mornings of he’s due out on long mission, Alejandro wakes you up with kisses, littering them on your face, your neck, for extra motivation he’ll plant some on your thighs and special one on your hip bone. He’d huskily murmur and ramble about how much he loves you and how he can’t wait for this bullshit to be over with so he can get back to you.

“Just want to lay in bed with you all day,” he’d groan into your neck. “Why do you have to be so warm and soft and delicious all the time?”

You laugh at him, cherishing the way his arms wrapped that extra bit tighter around you. “This is the life you picked,” you teased. “My hero, always making huge sacrifices.”

“Being away from you is the biggest sacrifice mankind has ever seen,” he propped himself up on his elbow, and bless his heart he did have a genuine, endearing pout on his face, like a child who didn’t want to get up for school. “You gonna be good for me while I’m gone? Best behaviour?”

You make a fake gaging sound, rolling your eyes heavily at him. “Hurry up and leave, my god.”

His response his to envelope you in a bear hug again, nipping at your ears and neck, squeezing your sides while you whine in protest.

It’s when he levels you with a heart felt sincere look you grow serious too, gazing back into his eyes wordlessly. He plants a kiss to your lips and you snuggle back into him.

“I love you so much,” he yawns. “So so much.”

“Love you more.”

“Impossible.”

You lay in silence for a while, his hold on you growing tighter, you fight the urge to drift back to sleep. “You know,” he sighs, kissing your temple. “Maybe they don’t need me for this one.”

“Really?” You ask, almost hopefully.

“No…” he groans dramatically into your hair, clamping a hand down onto the back of your head. “I /have/ to go. God damn it. Who would be me… Jesus Christ.”

Your suppress your grin and he curses to himself, forcing himself up. You almost cry at the sudden loss of contact. An impish smile comes to his face as he rips the sheets back, throwing them off the bed.

You recoil into yourself, your body clad in just your underwear meaning it’s instantly exposed to the fresh air. “You’re such an asshole.”

He laughs, running a hand through his hair. “When I come home,” he gestures towards your body, raising his eyebrows in approval. “You better be waiting for me just like that, I’ll accept nothing less.”

“You’ll come home to an empty house if you carry on,” you grumble as you cross the bed to grab the sheets, but you smile at him, rolling your eyes. “Go on, go shower, get ready, you’ll be late.”

He holds out his hand to you. “So what are you waiting for? Come on, you’re holding me up.”

You tut but can’t stop yourself from taking his hand. He leads you into the bathroom, and like always, you give him the send off that’s made him come to enjoy getting up to go on missions.

🥃Captain John Price 🥃

Expert preparation and years of experience meant the captain was calm on the mornings he was due on missions. You both got up very early, you cooked eggs while he flicked through a newspaper.

“This one’s gonna be a walk in the park, love,” he spoke to your turned back, voice more rich and decadent due to few hours he had been awake. “I’ll be back by Friday afternoon, easy.”

“If you say so,” you mused, a small smile coming to your face, yet your mind lingered on last time, he had come back with a vicious knife wound to the shoulder, a ghastly long laceration that you had to change the dressing for. You can remember the way the colour was stolen from his cheeks, how glassy his eyes had become and it was like a glimpse of something unspeakable… You swallowed the thoughts down, shooed the memories away like they were mischievous ghosts in the rooms of your mind. Your man had been doing this for years and years, he was the best in the game, you had nothing to worry about.

You soon placed the plate down in front of him, his scrambled eggs and toast, always his favourite. You watch him eat as you enjoyed your cup of coffee, he points his fork at the eggs and nods with satisfaction as he chews. “To this day, the best scrambled eggs I’ve ever tasted.”

You laugh silently, a small breath coming through your nose, but your know it doesn’t meet your eyes. You catch his gaze and he mirrors your emotion even as he chews. He’s caught you starting to slip into the sadness. “You’ll always be careful won’t you? Think of me before you jump in front of a bullet or something?”

He tosses the last piece of toast into his mouth and pauses before answering, wiping the crumbs from his hearty moustache. He then leans forward, reaching across the kitchen table to grab your hand, rubbing his calloused thumb over your knuckle and you look up at him.

“When shit hits the fan and I have to fight my way back home, tooth and nail, your gorgeous little face pops into my head, and that’s what drives me forward.”

You drop your gaze to your lap as you feel your heart ripple and flutter accordingly, a tender lump begin to swell in your throat. “Fight for yourself too. Don’t just do it for me.”

“No chance,” he dismissed. “It’s all for you, love. I’d be much more reckless if I didn’t have you here waiting for me.”

You breathe a smile and squeeze his hands, he raises your own hand to his lips, smiling into the skin gingerly as he kisses it.

As always, you stand at the front door as he gathers his bags and gear. He lays several languid kisses to your lips, relatively chaste but still passionate and lingering enough to make you wish you were both still entwined together in your beautifully warm bed. You ache when you remember how he had made love to you last night, like you were the most precious treasure to grace the earth, like he was scared to break you yet couldn’t get enough of you, like he couldn’t ever drink you in quite as much as he needed to.

He holds your face and stares for a moment, and you know he is drinking you in, surveying every feature. You can fully comprehend why that is.

“I love you, darling.”

“I love you too,” you respond softly, wrapping your hands around his wrists and turning your head to kiss his palm that’s right next to your mouth. “Please be careful.”

“Always.”

You watch him walk down the drive and get into the transport. You sigh, holding your chest, praying to whoever to bring him home once again.

🧼 Johnny “Soap” Mactavish 🧼

Your man, he was back from his run, hopping in the shower, all by 5am

You knew he was due away in a couple hours, so you thought you might as well get up with him. After all, if he could do all this before 5, the least you could do was get up and make him some breakfast.

You made him a full English, his favourite. The running and predictable joke between you two being of course, he was Scottish.

He was sat on the bed in his boxers when you brought it in on a tray.

“You shouldn’t have babe,” he grinned, all white teeth and sparkling blue eyes. Sometimes it was hard to believe he was a military man and not some swanky real estate agent or something.

You still flush and burn at him in this state, half naked, laying back propped against the pillow, staring up at you like you held the key to everything beautiful in the world.

“You’ve got a busy few weeks ahead of you,” you respond, setting the tray down. “Best you get off to a good start.”

He looked down at the food and then back up at you, a frown marring his features.

“Where’s yours though, hen?”

“I’ll make something later,” you wink. “Too focused on taking care of you right now.”

You sit down at the end of the bed as he tucks in. “I’ll have to put a ring on your finger if you carry on like this.”

You scoff, leaning back against the bed frame at the foot of the bed. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,”he chirps back enthusiastically. “Married person behaviour this is. Going above and beyond the line of duty.”

He sucks some stray tomato ketchup off his thumb, watching you with mirth as you watch him back, mildly unamused. You found it quite cheeky for him to tease you with the idea of a proposal.

Still, you couldn’t take him seriously, it was extremely difficult to.

“Well,” you begin, nabbing a hash brown from the plate, he tries to swat your hand away but you’re too nimble. “You’re my big strong hard working man. And you deserve it all.”

“You’re damn right there,” he nods. “Wouldn’t argue with that at all.”

You sit in silence for a while, companionable and comfortable, the birds begin to chirp prettily as dawn breaks and soon Johnny turns off the small lamp on your bedside as daylight floods the room. He places the tray to the side, making a point of rubbing his stomach, much to your endearment, he has bloated a little, sporting a small pot belly now. “Amazing as always.”

You smile, shrugging at him. The melancholy begins to set in just as the alarm clocks red sabres set to 6am. He sensed it, a misty glaze coming over his face to mirror yours. “Gonna miss me huh?”

You nod quickly, ducking your head down.

He coos at you and then opens his arm, smiling consolingly. “C’mere gorgeous.”

You crawl to him, tucking yourself into his arm, laying your head on his chest and he begins to stroke your hair tenderly, his touch rendered unbelievably soft, lingering, it’s blissful. “Same as always. Gone for a little while, and then back again. Before you even miss me too much. What you gonna do while I’m gone?”

“Just working,” you murmur, you’ve shut your eyes now.

“And what else? Something fun?”

“Mm.”

“I know,” he taps your shoulder. “You keep telling me how you want to learn how to paint. You could go to art classes.”

You raise your head to look at him, to see if he was serious, you plant your hands in his chest. “Maybe…”

“Yeah you should,” he shakes your shoulder, as if he’s trying to get you excited. “I’ll pay, use my card. But you have to paint me something amazing. That’s my only condition.”

“Amazing? I’d be a beginner.”

“No excuses,” he smirked, tapping you on the nose. “I expect a Picasso… or a… um…”

You let out a laugh as his faces twists in confusion, something akin to a perplexed puppy. “Christ, you know that’s the only one I know. That’s bad, that is. Really should have stayed in school longer.”

You hum, resting your head back on his chest, feeling his flesh beneath your hands. “Love you.”

“Love you too sweetheart,” and he held you against him for as long as he could, before he had to set off on his travels.

You told him before he left; “I’ll paint you the best picture the worlds ever seen, as long as you come back.”

“Deal.”

[iridescentscarecrow]

Omg do you have more thoughts on Sunturine? I can't stop thinking about your post .

i am still so frazzled by the 2.1 quest right now so all i have to offer are my most incoherent of thoughts i apologise. by incoherent i mean

(1) diagram about rain & clothes -- trying to break down why their one interaction scared me so fucking much. do not expect to understand this without miracle but you can look at it anyway. something something regarding fate/luck. plus the inevitability of harmony is something we see particularly upset aventurine ("either choice, same outcome"). the fairness of the game. also yeah im reading a lot into the way aven's boss fucks over harmony supports.

(2) something something family. "do you love your family more than yourself?" sunday asks aventurine and in a way he's referring to (a) aventurine's own themes of family (b) robin (c) The Family (capitalised)

(a) is interesting because i'm considering particularly how he imbues in himself values from the <family> he encounters. "never resent the pain or suffering you're going through" / how he regards his luck etc. but also more horrifyingly the "all or nothing" from the [indifferent male], jade's way of thinking (she also calls him "child"). (b) sunday's caring for robin is odd too. if you've seen the harmony tb splash art i'd say look at the two birds in the picture. and the amalgamation of Family (c) in the shape of gallagher calls sunday brother. i think there's an overlap here re: the horror of family. thinking about sunday's letters... but the way they choose to engage with it is fundamentally little different.

(3) sunday's little dollhouse down to the particulars re landscape but the Nature of the people being so absurd. toys. the puzzles! him shrinking aventurine & the "rat / maze" use of words later in the quest. all the puzzles in penacony / hanu for example to do with shrinking/being in miniature...

aventurine -- how untouchable can you make yourself when you appropriate anything bad thats happened to you as part of your own self. and you clothe yourself in ways that defy the hand fate dealt you. "inherently unjust destiny". do you see how fucked it is when shrinking comes in here. but ratio mentions that aventurine and sunday think alike. i'm really looking forward to see where they go with sunday's impulse for control in later patches.

(4) sunday saying he needs a *servant* after harmonypilling aven. jade: "as a servant you should not disobey your master. yet you went and killed that man anyway." aventurine needs to also regard himself as an agent. argh. they prod at each other in interesting ways.

this is all i have [gathered from several dms] as of now! thank you for the ask, anon!

[s0lairee]

USUALLY i keep the incoherent rambling to @xanyiaz's dms, but y’all know how i feel about vincent. so, here: roughly 2000 words of me talking abt him and the house of solaire.

(also, all non-art, original posts that i make, whether they’re just me keysmashing or me actually dissecting a video will now be tagged as #jo speaks <3)

(possibly incomprehensible) spoilers for “questioning the king” underneath (and a bit from sam’s latest vid). this isn’t really theorising, it’s more “jo analyzes fictional characters and cries”

first of all. CAN we get a round of applause for the voicing and the thumbnail. erik did such a good job - i wasn’t actually expecting a william vid since hedral has been mia for two years, but this was INSANE. erik’s voice is much softer than hedral’s (i think it’s because erik is used to voicing younger characters?) and it really adds to the tone of the video. also, the thumbnail is so perfectly in style with the summit thumbnails. everything is wonderful i just needed a moment for that.

anyways. i did not expect the video to go like this? i mean, everyone expected vincent to call william out for everything at some point, but dude, this caught me so off-guard. and in hindsight, it shouldn’t have. obviously the fandom paints (or painted, before the summit) william as the vamp dad, but he’s a king. he’s going to be political, pragmatic, and sometimes callous. callousness is why he survived. if he was as feeling as vincent is, he wouldn’t have survived his maker.

but like. i completely expected william to stand his ground against vincent’s criticism and mention how it was the right thing to do, but i thought eventually he’d give in and (at the very least) apologise. what i DIDN’T expect was for william:

to not do that.

to pretty much only apologise for keeping vincent out of the loop

to emphasise that this was what being a vampire prince entailed - this was what politics meant

and to GIVE HIM AN ULTIMATUM. it didn’t seem like one, but “if you’re one of us, that’s part of the deal” very much implies “be a solaire and do what is expected of you, or leave.”

i’m glad that vin and william, in some way, found a middle ground. but (as much as i was on will’s side this whole time bc vin always seemed too naive for the rough politics), vincent is right. william shouldn’t have given that burden only to porter. that’s one vampire against dozens that are at least centuries old. also, not to mention, vincent would NOT have trusted porter. can you imagine the mental strength it took vincent to not only hear porter out, but hear stuff that his maker was supposed to tell him from the one person he couldn’t stand? can you imagine how porter felt to be the messenger caught between these two??? and somehow, it’s worse when william doesn’t back down and just accept that vincent was right. he can excuse everything else as politics, but he can’t excuse this. and it’s so weird that he tried so hard to brush past that. 

also. william’s favouritism is incredibly obvious. it’s insane. like, this entire audio, he’s prioritising vincent (and lovely, to some extent). his literal first lines are him choosing to speak to vincent and lovely alone, when sam is RIGHT THERE. he refers to sam as samuel, being one of the only people who does that. he also took the time to explain himself to vincent, but to sam he just says “say what you will.” it gives the vibe of the older sibling that the parent knows will understand, and i know sam doesn’t care about the house like vincent does, but GOD it really rubs it in. i know there’s that convoluted father-son dynamic between vin and william, but william put the pack, their mates, sam and darlin’ into the firing line. porter only gave vincent and lovely an alibi. none of the others. this was the pack's first summit too. if sweetheart was caught eavesdropping, they would have been in SO much trouble. it’s pure dumb luck they escaped. 

also. my brain ran away here. but porter, who isn't will's progeny but acts like his dutiful son, doing whatever is asked of his king because he saved his life - porter, who can't help but feel slighted when after everything, william still fights to justify his actions to vincent (while porter understands). porter who watches (in his mind, at least) vincent throw all of that away for what's "morally right". porter who is faultlessly loyal but so goddamn alone. are you picking up what im putting down <3

^ going off on that, the different reactions (or possible reactions) to will’s ultimatum have me frothing at the mouth.

i want to say porter is fiercely loyal to william and the house but i do think a lot of it is desperation and his own version of “morally right”? like to porter, the right thing is listening to whatever his king - the man that took him in and saved his life - says. or it could be cowardice. if he doesn’t do what will wants him to do, he would have to leave the house… and where would he go? to treasure? imagine explaining this shit to them. he literally has no choice.

to sam, it's the practical, good thing, and it's almost political. and this way of thinking is easy for sam, since he's not really as loyal to the house as vincent is. in fact, he's almost completely detached. so sam's idea of what's right is that william should've considered vincent’s opinion too, or have some kind of counsel, because they were the people who were most directly in the firing line. so when william so self-assuredly says he isn't wrong, and won't ever be wrong... he lost sam. (sam also never outright got the choice to leave like vincent did. he still made the decision. he's, like, 100% gone.)

and to vincent, it's almost completely emotional. he had this responsibility for the summit thrust onto him suddenly after william shielded him from a lot during his growing up as a vampire. he had so much information kept from him by his maker, his family, and he had to put up with the one person william knew he couldn't put up with. he also almost lost his partner, his brother and his friends in the whole mess.

+ need to add that vincent is very, very emotional. throughout the whole summit, there wasn’t one time when he was able to go with the (albeit fucked up) flow. partly, this is who he is; someone who feels everything in extremes, and partly because william had shielded him from the worst of the vampire world for so, so long. this isn’t a positive or negative character trait: it’s just a trait, and something will should have considered. then again, if not vincent, who would host the summit? not sam. certainly not alexis. and porter couldn’t. 

(also, it’s precisely how emotional he is and how much importance he places on family that makes “a prince is supposed to answer to his king, not the other way around” STING.)

now the part that GUTTED me: the ultimatum, and why sam is most certainly leaving (and vincent might consider it, but GOD i fucking hope he doesn’t.)

erik has established both sam and darlin' as being completely self sufficient. like they've both expressed that they're better with each other, and that they've grown as people, but also they're not tied down by any obligations to anyone. darlin' may be fiercely protective of their pack and their identity as a wolf, but sam is heavily disconnected from the house. he might only be sticking around because of vincent, and those two are BROTHERS your honour. but like, he doesn't really feel anything emotional to them nor does he have an obligation to them, even as a vampire.

(especially as a vampire, a status he did not want and is going to give up some time in the future.)

but vincent has both emotional (and i wanna say political?) ties to the house. one, being turned saved his life. he didn't have the choice that lovely had, but he also doesn’t completely hate it like sam did (maybe bc he was unempowered before and the loss of power didn't hit as hard.) two, he's kinda reconciled with his status as a vampire prince. he really does love william. whatever relationship they have (had.) was good - there was some amount of trust there (that will broke now). 

and also, being a vampire allowed him to save lovely. vin and lovely are COMPLETELY devoted to each other. they've had one of the most dramatic changes together.

more than that, the solaire house is family to vin. like, at least in the context of lore and the channel, it has been such a massive part of his life. he introduced his partner to his maker. he took them to the summit. he has confided in them abt princely duties. the house is, for better or for worse, his family.

(also, william bringing out all of vincent’s worst memories right in front of lovely (who was also there for those memories) is so fucking insane. wh. every argument he made in this video is so so insane.) 

somehow, for all the analysing i'm doing, i can't predict lovely's emotions. i know they're gonna be angry in their own way: very soon after mastering their powers, they had it taken away from them; and very soon after being crowned in the house of solaire, they're watching it crumble.

will giving them an ultimatum felt very final. i know erik mentioned wanting to wrap up a few plotlines, and i’m totally ok with that (not . i need vincent. but i can make my peace w things) but if this is how it ends i will cry

in conclusion, will was fighting between politics and progeny. he tried, desperately, to have both. unfortunately, you can’t have both. fortunately, you can try to rebuild the relationship the choice broke. unfortunately, will didn’t do that. he wasn’t fair to a single person here. he still sees tasks and details as a privilege given to solaires, not something that is expected of him as vincent’s family.

most of erik’s plotlines have a theme, and this one seems to surround trust and choice and how the right thing isn’t always in black and white. so yeah it would fucking suck and i would bawl my ass off if vincent and lovely decide to leave the house …… i know it would be the right thing to do but also i wish porter could knock some sense into william or something. 

i would love to see that, actually. feels shakespearean.

[tears0fsatan]

For your event could you do "aw did you miss me." Headcanons for Beelzebub, Levi, and Simeon, with male reader who has just gotten back from a two day business trip with Lucifer?

✦ ⊹ ˚˖ warnings... gn!reader (no pronouns used), this is so stupidly sweet watch out u might get a cavity, can be read as romantic or platonic, includes cuddles snuggles and more cuddles lol.

 :¨·.·¨ ♥︎  a.n... hello fruity five i am alive!! i know i pinky promised i'd post this a few days ago but im struggling with a lot at the moment. i apologise, sometimes life just feels like it's constantly moving forward and never gives me time to breathe. anw i digress, this was super fun n cute to make thank u for sending it in darling <33 i altered the quote a bit for all of them i hope u don't mind honey!

LEVIATHAN !

g*d forbid you find out about how he spent most of the time you were away in the entrance hall, ready for your return

he genuinely considered bringing his favourite ruri-chan blanket down and sleeping in front of the door (luckily for everybody, mammon and satan were able to convince him from doing that and alls well ends well)

kept moaning about how you were gone for too long so much so that even beelzebub nearly lost his shit

the moment you stepped foot through the door, leviathan was the first to run towards you

the type to hoard you in his room until he feels like you're actually back

hope you're strong because he will just. hold onto you. and he won't let go.

he'll keep his arms wrapped around your waist while his legs drag across the floor if you're walking to get something from across the room

if you say you want to go outside he'll look at you with them big ol' beady serpent eyes lol

he refuses to play games unless he's sitting on your lap or vice versa

“noooooo, mcccc, pleaseee.” leviathan whined, tugging on your sleeve with so much force it had you falling back down to his lap.

“levi, i was gone for two days. you’re acting like i left you to fend for yourself in the woods for months.” you said, exasperated. you wanted to be annoyed, but the view of leviathan whining has your heart stuttering.

“but, but….!” his voice trailed off, knowing that he had nothing to say that could validate his argument, not that he really needed to anyways.

“wow, seems like someone really missed me, hm?” you cooed, to which the demon responded with incoherent stuttering and a splotchy red face. his reaction only made you want to tease him more.

BEELZEBUB !

deadass nearly squeezed you to death when you walked through the door

he was so excited to see you that he even dropped all the burgers in his arms just so he could hold you

he doesn't say much, simply basks in your presence that he'd been deprived of for what seemed like forever

he's not usually the clingy type but for the first few days of you being back he'll hover around you

he doesn't necessarily cling onto you like levi does, but he'll follow you around the house

... you found yourself sleeping in his bed for a week because you caved into his kicked puppy look

he would bring an abundant of food up to his room (where he's held you captive)

shares his snack stash with you, even lets you have the last piece of his favourite spicy screaming gummy snake

gets super flustered when you cheer him on during his workout

“beel, darling… what do you mean by this?” you shifted your gaze from the heap of snacks the demon dumped on your lap to beelzebubs face.

beelzebub huffed with his chin resting on your shoulder, his eyes drifting from the snacks and making eye contact with you. it was almost like a lightbulb lit up in your mind and you subconsciously let out a small, “ah!”

you ripped open the bag that sat on top of the pile, taking out three fingers worth of treats and fed it to the demon. he had his mouth open, drool just barely seeping out from the corners of his mouth, and the corners of his eyes were crinkled.

the moment the fiery gummy touched his tongue, beelzebub’s expression changed into one of pure bliss.

you couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight of the happy and content demon, the words, “aw, did someone miss me that much?” followed your actions. beelzebub didn’t even try to deny it, merely nodding half heartedly before opening his mouth wide, ready for another treat.

SIMEON !

the moment your foot touches the purgatory hall, simeon's got his arms wrapped around you

he does the cliche 'sweeps you off your feet and spins you around' LMFAOOOO (he's an author, what can you expect)

once he sets you down he wastes no time in peppering your face with kisses, making sure he doesn't miss a single spot

he's prepared an assortment of little tasty treats just for you (felt bad that he couldn't share with luke but made a promise he would treat him next time)

once he has you all to himself, he'll make you tell him all about the trip, no matter how many times you try to remind him it was purely a business trip

he listens attentively, the look on his face tells you that he's hanging onto every little detail, regardless of how boring and mundane it was

has the biggest smile you've ever seen on his face the entire time

you catch him staring at you a lot, even more so than usual

if you mention you missed a certain devildom dish, he'd whip up a plate for you immediately

simeon’s eyes are bright and utterly smitten while they take in your appearance. it almost seems as though he's so entranced by you that he pays no heed to the words that come out of your mouth, which you find a little funny seeing as he's the one who told you to tell him all about your little adventure.

you smile softly, a smile that he reciprocates with one of his own without realising.

"-en... a giant ugly squid bursted through the sky and attacked lucifer and i." you finish off the ridiculous story, waiting to see if your angel would take the bait or prove your suspicions.

the angel covers his mouth with the hand he was leaning against and lets out a small giggle.

"mc... i'm sure that squids don't appear out of thin air in the human realm." to your surprise, simeon's expression returns to the one from earlier, easily disproving your thoughts. "i was hanging on your every word." his words are so suave you can't help but let out a laugh.

"haha! looks like you really missed me, huh?" you joke, but simeon just gives you another soft smile and nudges the plate of treats towards you. you want to joke around more, but the sincerity in his gaze stops you, so you choose to finish the story properly, knowing that the angel was paying attention to every word you uttered.

© 2022 TEARS0FSATAN. please don’t repost, modify or translate my works anywhere!

[mandoalorian]

Look For The Light

Prologue: Part II

[read prologue part I here]

Summary: You are a hardened survivor trying to navigate your way in a post-apocolyptic world when you bump into an old friend who goes by the name of Joel Miller.

Warnings: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH(s). All TLOU relevant warnings such as gore, violence, guns, drugs, and cursing. dickhead boyfriend gets his karma<3

Author’s Note: This chapter was such a challenge to write! I'm not used to writing action sequences, or horror for that matter. Now that the prologue is over, I'm excited to officially explore the post-apocalyptic universe and write battle-hardened Joel. The best is yet to come! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Word count: 5,000 words.

Masterlist | Want to support me? | Listen to ‘Look For The Light’ on Spotify

<Please remember to reblog to show your love and support! Reblogs give me the motivation to continue the series, and motivation means that I’m able to pump out chapters quicker than usual!>

----

You didn’t speak to Michael for the rest of the evening. Battling with your own concerns and your feelings towards Joel, you told yourself you were just worried about Tommy. That was enough to justify your heart-wrenching fear of regret. You liked Joel, you always had, and you didn’t want to leave it too long to tell him. So, you decided that tomorrow, during movie night, you’d pull him to one side and tell him the truth. If he rejected you, then so be it. You’d be hurt for sure, but what kind of life would you live if you weren’t honest with yourself? 

At around 7 p.m., you started to get hungry and contemplated ordering a pizza. You dragged your feet out of bed and padded into the living room to check in with Michael, who was just sitting on the edge of the sofa, playing on the PlayStation 2. You flinched at the blasts of gunfire that emerged from the television set as Michael’s character shot down what looked like monsters made out of pixels. 

“What are you playing?” you asked your boyfriend, trying to push to have a conversation with him. Truthfully, you just wanted Michael to apologise to you. You deserved that much, and if you could swindle an ‘I’m sorry’ out of him by taking interest in his dumb video game, then you’d be more than satisfied. You felt shameful, having to jump through hoops in a pitiful attempt to get him to say sorry to you. 

Michael grumbled something incoherent and then violently threw the controller at the TV. You jumped, your lips parting in shock at his sudden outburst. His character had died. On instinct, you bounced back, not liking this angry side of him. Sure, Michael could be a jerk sometimes… or, all of the time, but the violence he was displaying ever since coming home today was unusual, to say the very least. He was normally more than comfortable making snide comments about your appearance or backhanded misogynistic jokes, but today he was yelling, breaking what little furniture you had, and he had even kicked one of the chairs over, cracking the leg. 

“If there were ever a zombie apocalypse, I know damn well I’d survive,” Michael smirked. He seemed to have calmed down pretty quickly, picking the video game controller off the floor and starting the game back up. “But you…” your boyfriend looked at you up and down. “Well, at least you’d lose a little weight.”

There was the Michael you had come to know. You narrowed your eyes in his direction. No pizza then.

You felt so fed up, and you contemplated just calling Joel. Did you really have to wait til tomorrow evening to see him again? You’d do anything to leave this life behind and go back to the neighbourhood you were brought up in; back to your family and your easy old babysitting job. You didn’t care for your new job at the office, and you didn’t care for your faulty apartment and shitty boyfriend either. You missed your friends back home and you missed your old life. If you just had one chance to go back and change everything, you would do it in a heartbeat.

If only you didn’t feel so trapped. If there was a chance to leave this life behind, you sure as hell would take it. No matter the consequences.

“I’m going to bed,” you announced flatly, anticipating that Michael would spend the entirety of the night playing his video game anyway. You figured that you weren’t going to force an apology out of him, especially if he wasn't prepared to give one. As you used to tell Sarah, ‘if men wanted to, they would.’

“Could you pass me the rest of the cookies?” Michael asked, not even tearing his eyes from the screen. His tone was crass. 

Without another word, you tossed him the plate of cookies, dropped it by his side and marched into your bedroom. You felt tears burn your eyes and you were furious that you had obliged with his request. You were a people-pleaser through and through, and no matter how much Michael irked you, you hated to be on his wrong side. The only thing stopping you from breaking down and crying was that you got to see Joel again tomorrow, and Sarah, of course. It may have still only been earlier, but the quicker you managed to get to sleep, the quicker tomorrow would come. 

Only between the sirens outside and Michael’s yelling from the other room, you found it hard to settle down. You glanced at your bedside table and looked over at your phone. You could just call Joel, find a good excuse to talk to him… ask him about Tommy. You decided against it though, believing that Joel certainly would have had better things to do than spend his Friday night on the phone with you.

However, while you were tucked up in bed trying to sleep, Joel was in Arlington County Jail with the full intention of busting his younger brother, Tommy, out of his cell. Fully aware of the chaos outside, Joel knew that he didn’t have long and that he had to get home to Sarah.

When Joel arrived at Arlington County Jail, Tommy appeared distressed, his black curly hair out of place and beads of sweat lacing his hairline. Joel found him alone, pacing back and forth with his arms crossed against his chest. There was no security, no cops. It was unusual for the jail to be this isolated, especially down in the cells. 

“Where’s the sheriff?” Joel asked, busting through the door.

“Gone home,” Tommy said quickly. “Left me here to rot. Everyone is gone. They all left me here. And—and there’s something going on out there—I don’t know what but I can hear the screams and—”

Tommy’s heart pounded against his chest as he gazed through the small grid-locked window at the top of his cell. There was no way he could see out of the window, which made it all the more terrifying. He couldn’t put context to the sounds he heard. 

“I know Tommy, I know,” Joel replied, equally as stressed and confused as his brother. Joel didn’t know much, but he knew more than Tommy at this point. He’d heard things about the Cordyceps. Things he couldn’t believe were true… but right now he had no choice but to not question them. He could only think about his daughter. “We have to get back to Sarah. Where’d the sheriff keep the damn key for your cell?”

The older brother scurried around, checking all the pots and trinkets on the sheriff’s desk and even on the hangers behind the door, making a mess of the ornaments and décor in the meantime. A loud scream from outside the jail made Joel freeze in his footsteps, his entire body tensing up as a person’s painful cries echoed throughout the station.

Snapping Joel out of his thoughts, Tommy clapped his hands together. “Top drawer to the left of his desk,” Tommy pointed. “Hurry up Joel.”

Joel opened the drawer and located the small silver key, twisting it into the cell door and unlocking it. The cell door swung open and Tommy immediately dived out of the hole and jogged around the sheriff's desk, opening the much longer bottom drawer and bringing out a rifle. Tommy had seen the sheriff leave it in there before he left the station an hour ago. Like second nature, he slid the weapon over his shoulder and grabbed the sheriff’s pistol from the desk. He offered it to his brother, but Joel merely shook his head. 

“Jesus Christ Tommy, really, a gun?” Joel asked, bringing his hand to his face. 

“We don’t know what’s going on out there, but with all this gunfire and sirens and screams—well shit Joel, I guess you ain’t gonna be the one shooting anyway,” Tommy said as coherently as he could, but the words ended up jumbled in the panic he was currently facing. He slid the pistol into the back of his jeans and kept his hand armed on the rifle. Tommy was a US veteran; he’d fought in wars… he was a survivor, but if there was one thing he hated, it was not knowing what was going on. It was being without a plan. 

Tommy’s gaze located the fire alarm which was guarded by a glass frame. Next to it, was an axe on the wall. Tommy grabbed the axe and handed it over to Joel, his eyes wide and pleading as he issued Joel a compromise. Joel hesitated for a moment, looking at the axe, but his thoughts were quickly interrupted by a large explosion that erupted outside, making both of the brothers crouch down and cover themselves on impulse. Joel took the axe from Tommy and adjusted his grip around the wooden handle. 

“We have to go, now,” Tommy announced, and Joel swallowed. He could barely get his words out as worry filled the pit of his stomach. He said a silent prayer, hoping that Sarah was safe and had locked all the doors. She was a smart girl, Joel told himself. She wouldn’t do anything rash that would put herself in danger. 

Joel nodded in agreement when he’d registered Tommy’s needing words. Finding his feet, Joel stood up and followed Tommy outside of the station and to the truck. Hundreds if not thousands of people fled the streets, running away from something that had yet to reveal itself. Bodies massed the ground, some injured and some dead, and the smell of smoke filled the air.

Joel slid into the driver's seat and started the engine. He skipped through the radio channels, hoping to hear a broadcast that would give him some information as to what exactly is going on. But all that could be heard was loud, crackling static. 

“Call Sarah,” Joel requested Tommy as he pulled out of the driveway. 

After multiple attempts of calling his niece, Tommy shook his head in defeat.

“She’s not answering?” Joel quizzed hurriedly, slamming his hand on the steering wheel as he continued to navigate the streets. His palms were clammy and his heart slammed against his chest. 

“It’s not that,” Tommy huffed. “I can’t get through. The line must be down, no service…”

“Fuck.” Joel hissed through his teeth, now speeding down the highway, doing his damn best to avoid the traffic and cars that were offside the road.

When Joel and Tommy pulled into the driveway, Sarah was already standing outside, waiting for them. Her brown eyes were wide, her mouth was agape and tears stained her cheeks. Behind her, Mrs Adler made rapid movements, crawling across the porch and eventually standing up. 

Joel and Tommy sprung out of the car and Tommy raised his rifle, getting a clear shot on Mrs Adler as she approached the family at a rapid speed.

“Sarah get in the truck!” Joel cried, and the young girl quickly obliged.

“Joel! What are we doing?” Tommy quizzed frantically, his index finger hovering over the trigger of his rifle as Mrs Adler’s body twitched and quivered. The infected old lady growled in pain as Joel took his axe and with all of his pent-up brute force, hammered it into Mrs Adler’s skull.

Sparing not even a second, when Mrs Adler dropped to the ground, Joel and Tommy clambered back into the front seats of the truck. Tommy this time took the driver's seat so Joel could give directions, but also comfort his daughter who was silently sobbing in the back.

“You—you killed her.” Sarah whimpered, her fingernails digging into the palms of her hand as she looked at her father in horror.

“I’m sorry baby girl,” Joel whispered, leaning back and outstretching his arm. He took Sarah’s hand and with his thumb, began to rub comforting circles into her skin. “I’m so sorry.”

It was late when you woke up; two maybe three in the morning. Michael’s side of the bed was still empty, and as you sat upright and rubbed your eyes, you doubted that he was still playing his game. It had been hours. The sky was painted a velvet blue-black and in the far distance, you could still hear sirens, albeit it was now a lot quieter. 

You contemplated for a moment, wondering whether you should go back to sleep or check in on your boyfriend who had been acting out of the ordinary all evening. After a few moments, you breathed out an audible sigh and determined that you should probably check in on him. He had work first thing in the morning and should’ve been asleep long ago. You slipped out of your bed and throw over your robe, sliding your feet into your favourite fuzzy slippers and opened your bedroom door.

The first thing you noticed was the crackling sound of static on the television, almost as if the power had cut out. Your gaze followed a pile of crumbs on the floor which traced back to a crumbled-up cookie and a smashed china plate that you had previously presented them on. You adjusted your vision, your tired eyes still getting used to the bright light of your living area, and noticed Michael who was standing tall and upright, staring out of the kitchen window.

“Michael?” you asked, slowly walking up to him. “Have you seen the time? You need to go to bed.”

Michael didn’t respond, other than a small twitch of his fingers at the sound of his own name. As you closed in on him, you noticed his breathing was very heavy and he moved very little.

“You ignoring me now?” you whined. “Look, you’ve been nothing but a dick to me ever since we moved in together, but if I’m willing to move past your attitude, and the fact you broke a chair and smashed one of my china plates, then you should really—” the second you placed your hand on Michael’s shoulder, he let out a high pitched shriek and darted around 90 degrees so he was facing you.

It all happened so fast. His skin was pale white and his pupils appeared dilated. Not only that, but the white of his eyes was bloodshot red and you noticed the veins in his temples pulsating. Michael looked at you and for just a moment, his expression appeared soft and regretful, but then, within a mere second, his movements became quick and animalistic. Michael dived on top of you, letting a growl escape his lips as he pushed you down onto the hardwood floor beneath you. You yelped as your body came crashing to the ground. Michael was stronger than ever and it took all your might to escape his grip. You felt his muscles spasming and his body twitching as he eagerly tried to pin you to the ground, but as he struggled, you managed to shuffle your body backwards in the direction the TV set and closer to your bedroom.

You couldn’t draw your eyes away from your boyfriend, despite feeling the pure terror rage within you. Your back hit the bedroom door and you cursed yourself for closing it behind you. Dead end.

Michael came closer and closer, and in an effort to evade him, you stumbled to your feet. And squeezed behind the television. It was a cube-shaped 28 inch Sony TV box, typical of 2003, with rounded corners and a mighty weight to it. He grappled to get to you and you noted just how determined he was. He kept growling, his mouth watering as he punched his fists into the television and scream with rage. He seemed unfazed that his hands were now bleeding, and that the glass had smashed into smithereens around his feet on the floor. 

“Michael,” you sobbed quietly, helpless warm tears rolling down your cheeks. “Michael, you’re scaring me.”

Michael snarled and shrieked in response, and his bleeding hand found your face, grabbing onto it in an attempt to get closer to you. You screamed into the palm of his hand as his fingernails dragged across your skin, scratching down your cheek and neck. You knew if you stayed here, Michael was going to hurt, maybe even kill you. Something had happened to him, and you were in danger, that much was clear. But there was nowhere to run. Nowhere to go. The TV set was the only thing blocking Michael from you, and if you were to slip out now, his fast and primal instincts would have no qualms with attacking you again.

And then, an instinct which was driven by nothing short of raw, unfeigned fear – you knew what you had to do.

With all the power and energy that you could muster, you shifted your entire body weight and applied pressure to the TV. Slowly but surely, your force began to move the TV away from the entertainment centre and closer to Michael. You let out a scream as your muscles tensed and your arms began to hurt. One more big push and the TV would fall atop of Michael.

You blinked away the tears that filled your glossy eyes and whispered. “Michael, I am so sorry.”

And with one final push, the weighty TV box crashed on top of Michael, pushing him to the ground. Michael’s shrieks were no more and his body lay there, a pool of blood emerging from his lifeless frame. 

You heaved and cried and screamed as you slid out from the entertainment centre and looked at Michael’s corpse. You’d killed him. You had killed your boyfriend.

You were a murderer. 

Pacing around in circles you wondered what to do – whom to call. So you took out your phone and dialled the one person you could trust the most. Joel.

When Joel woke up, he was on the ground. As were Tommy and Sarah. Flames engulfed their surroundings and the truck had been turned over on its side as a result of a plane crashing into them. Joel wasn’t sure how long he’d been knocked out for, but it surely couldn’t have been more than a few minutes. It was the ringing of his cell phone that had awoken him. Joel didn’t move until the ringing stopped, his phone was too far to reach anyway, and then he tried to gather himself.

“Daddy?” Sarah croaked. “Daddy? Wake up.”

“I’m here baby girl,” Joel assured quietly, reaching his hand out and interlocking his fingers with his daughter’s. Sarah breathed an air of relief as she felt her father’s hand on hers. For the first time all night, she felt safe. Joel gave Sarah’s hand a reassuring squeeze and then reluctantly drew it away, placing both of his palms flat against the roof of the car. Sarah felt her heart deflate. “Watch out.” He warned, before shifting position and pushing his foot into the main window of the car, overhead the bonnet. 

He kicked open the car window and crawled out from the remains.

The second Joel found his feet, an infected man grabbed onto him, and Joel wrestled for freedom. Within seconds though, Tommy appeared, smashing a brick into the man’s face causing him to lose consciousness and fall to the ground.

“Dad?” Sarah called again, alerting Joel. 

Joel knelt down and Tommy covered him as he helped his struggling daughter out of the car. She whimpered in pain as she found her balance, with the help of her father who wrapped an arm around her shoulder to prop her up. But Sarah was struggling to stand.

“What is it?” Joel questioned with concern.

“I think it’s my leg,” Sarah replied and Joel noted her injured calf, blood seeping through the material of her pants. 

“How bad does it hurt?” Joel asked, bringing his hand down to the wound.

“Pretty bad.” With hesitation, Joel knelt down and tried to take a closer look. It seemed as though some part of the car had impaled his daughter and she was bleeding out pretty badly. Joel noted just how strong she was. He was so proud of her. 

“Okay—we need to go, now,” Tommy warned quickly, interrupting Joel’s sentimental thoughts and picking off the infected with his pistol as he covered his brother and niece.

“Can you run?” Joel asked Sarah hurriedly.

Sarah didn’t reply. The girl winced with pain as Joel’s hand moved over her leg and she shook her head ‘no’.

“Come on Joel.” Tommy urged, firing another shot.

Joel muttered a curse under his breath and swept Sarah off her feet, cradling the little girl in his arms. “Cover us.” He told Tommy, before following his younger brother down the infected-ridden main street. It was hard to tell who was ‘normal’ and who wasn’t as shrieks and screams and cries filled the atmosphere. Everyone’s movements seemed panicked and erratic and as Tommy continued to shoot down oncoming enemies, Joel noted his daughter tensing up in his arms.

“Don’t look at them sweetheart, keep your eyes on me,” Joel said softly. Sarah’s big brown eyes gazed up at her father but when she noticed the hoards of infected chasing the family from behind, terror filled her gut once more. 

“Quick!” Tommy shouted, pointing his finger at an abandoned diner up ahead. Speeding up, the brothers raced to get into the diner. They ran as fast as their legs could carry them. Tommy removed a wooden beam which was barricading the door, and opened it, inviting Joel to slide inside, still holding onto Sarah. As Tommy tried to shut the back door of the diner, three infected people jammed their way into the opening, growling and clawing at Tommy. Tommy scuffled to fight them off, but at least he was winning against them.

“Uncle Tommy?” Sarah cried with hysteria as she saw her beloved uncle struggling against the mania.

“Get to the highway!” Tommy instructed as he held back the infected.

“I ain’t leaving you!” Joel cried out in response, his eyes darting around the diner to look for something he could use to help Tommy fend off the infected.

“Go! You got Sarah!” Tommy reminded his brother. He was right. Sarah was Joel’s number one priority, and Joel just couldn’t play hero right now.

As Joel turned his back on his brother, Sarah cried out for her uncle once more, tears streaming down her cheeks as her father ran out of the front door of the diner.

“Daddy no! We can’t leave him!” Sarah sobbed as Joel closed the front door to the diner.

“He’s going to be fine,” Joel promised his daughter. Breathless, he jogged down the muddy embankment that led onto the highway. At least now he could see the bridge. That was his way out of here. “Come on honey, we’re almost there.”

As Joel ran up the road leading to the bridge, two infected chased after him. Joel could taste blood in his mouth and he wasn’t sure he was going to make it until he saw a bright, blinding white light ahead. 

Pointing an assault rifle at Joel was a man, a soldier perhaps, dressed in an armoured black uniform. He was wearing a gas mask and had grenades strapped to his chest. Joel had never seen anything like it before. Not even in movies. The soldier fired his gun and picked off the infected that were behind Joel and Sarah, before slowly approaching the pair, not lowering his gun once.

Sarah was shivering in Joel’s arms, her eyes wide as she watched the man direct the barrel of his assault rifle into her father’s face.

Joel held Sarah’s hand in the hope it would help ease her anxiety. “It’s okay now. We’re okay. We’re safe.”

Joel swallowed and turned to face the soldier.

“Help us,” he begged. “Please. It’s my daughter. Her leg is injured.”

Joel took a few steps closer but stopped abruptly when warned by the soldier.

“Stop right there.” The faceless soldier said, his index finger hovering over the trigger of the gun.

Joel hesitated, his lips parting in shock and confusion. “We—we’re not like them. We’re not sick,”

The soldier clicked on his radio. “Got two civilians in the outer perimeter. Please advise.”

“Daddy? What about Uncle Tommy?” Sarah whispered as the soldier spoke over the radio. Joel drew his eyes away from the man and looked at his daughter. 

“He’s gonna be all right, don’t you worry about him. We just need to get your leg better right now.”

“But—there’s a little girl,” The soldier’s comment alerted both Joel and Sarah and they looked over at the man again. “But—” the soldier’s protests were weak and eventually he settled on a simple. “Okay.”

The radio became silent and the soldier let out a huff of air before pointing his rifle back at Joel and Sarah.

“Listen, we’ve just been through hell, okay? We just need—” Joel noticed the shift in energy and the way the flashlight on the gun focused on him. He was going to shoot. “—Shit.”

Multiple shots. In an attempt to take the blast and cover his daughter, Joel turned his back on the oncoming fire. He threw himself and Sarah down to the ground and rolled down the hill as the soldier continued to spray shots. The soldier jogged onto Joel and aimed his gun at Joel’s head. Joel raised both of his hands in a surrendering motion.

“Please—don’t—” Joel whispered under his breaths.

BANG. Another shot. The soldier fell to the ground. Joel jumped and sat upright, looking up at his younger brother who had just killed the soldier. Joel let out a groan of pain as he peeled back the hem of his navy blue t-shirt and examined the wound on his stomach. The grazing off his bullet. The pain was so immense, he didn’t even hear the whimpers and cries of his daughter who was only a few metres away. 

“Joel…” Tommy interrupted his brother’s thoughts and nodded towards Sarah, his eyes wet and horrified. Joel’s entire body jolted upright when he overheard Sarah’s pained cries, and he crawled over to his daughter who was laying on the ground in a pool of her own blood. Her t-shirt was soaked red.

Joel picked up his daughter and held her in her arms. Her breathing became short, loud gasps for air and when Joel found the main source of the bleeding in her abdomen, he pressed his two hands on the wound. It needed pressure. Sarah’s entire body jolted and she screamed as blinding hot pain ran through her body.

“It’s okay baby, it’s okay baby,” Joel tried reassuring Sarah but he appeared even more panicked than before. When he saw the tears fall freely from the corner of Sarah’s eyes, he couldn’t help but hold back his own. He didn’t know what to do. Sarah’s gasps became quicker and more panicky and she couldn’t get her words out. She couldn’t tell her father how much she loved him, or how grateful she was for the short years that she spent with him. Sarah’s grip around Joel’s neck tightened as she felt herself becoming increasingly lightheaded, and she let out another cry with pain.

Joel leaned into Sarah, rocking back and forth. “I know, I know baby, I know it hurts. You’re going to be okay,” all he could do right now was reassure his daughter. He didn’t know if it would be ‘okay’, but it had to be, right? It had to be. “Baby, baby, listen to me. C’mon, I’ve got to get you up. Come on baby—” Joel stopped and looked over at his brother.

Tommy was just standing there, his gun lowered and his entire body weak with shock. 

“Tommy help me!” Joel cried out with anguish as he tucked Sarah into his chest, holding onto her limp frame with the utmost desperation.

Tommy swallowed and lets his own tears spill from his eyes. “Joel.” He said weakly, nodding his head towards his niece. 

Joel turned back to Sarah, who wasn’t moving anymore. She wasn’t making a sound. Her eyes closed, Joel clutched onto her and gave her held her tighter than ever before, crying out her name. 

“Sarah?” Joel’s voice was quiet as he looked down at the fragile girl. “Baby? Don’t do this to me, baby. Come on. Come on, baby. No. Oh no. Please don’t do this to me. No… no…”

And at that moment, time stopped for Joel. Sarah was gone.

-----

Taglist: @onlyrealjoy @honeybunzzzz @hawkins-2000 @keepingitlokiii @januarycolor @anapnovo-blog @pardebellesnuits @mi0o@supervengerslock @bigpepperpicker @alitaar @pedrostories @pedroprinces

[mid0khan]

Last Line Tag Game

I've been tagged by @samsalami66 and I'll take advantage of it to post a snippet of the Dream/Denial fic I have been working on for half a year now (already !). Thanks for the tag btw ^^

I hesitated to post a piece of the ninth chapter, because I'm really proud of it, but the game say last line, and I have started writing chapter 10, so have what I've done for it so far !

Hob looked up from the printing press, offering an apologetic smile to the nun who had interrupted his work. “I am sory, Suster, we ne sellen the Twilight bokes her, oonly the Bible!” He wiped his ink-stained hands on his richly embroidered coat as the nun berated him for the unfaithful books he was making when a familiar presence made him shiver. “Morpheus?” he called, looking around for his friend. But the lordly being was nowhere to be found. Hob shrugged, apologising to the irate Sister who was now sermonising at him about respecting his elders. He would have been really surprised if Morpheus had visited him here. … But where was here, exactly? The weirdness of the situation suddenly dawned on him. He looked around, noting all the incoherences of the place. He was working on one of Billy Caxton first printing presses, dressed in a mockery of the coat he had worn to Robin’s christening. The shop was a mix of his room when he had lived in Paris in the 1920s and his current office at the university he was teaching at, with the unfinished paintings on the walls and a bi flag in his “best teacher” mug on a desk. The place was filled to the brim with shelves sagging under the weight of thousands of copies of the Bible with a wonky Jesus drawn on the cover. “I’m dreaming, aren’t I?” he asked the nun, who stopped moving like an automaton running out of battery. The whole scenery started dissolving as Hob ran around the shop, desperately calling for Morpheus even though he knew the Endless was already gone. He couldn’t feel the tell-tale buzz of his presence anymore. The dream disappeared, revealing the closed doors of the Dreaming’s castle. Hob groaned in frustration and disappointment. He looked up to greet the griffin and startled when three pair of eyes met his. “Welcome back, Dreamer!” the griffin saluted him enthusiastically. “As you can see, my companions in duty came back since we last met.” “Hi guys,” Hob waved awkwardly. The hippogriff and the wyvern resting next to the griffin nodded in acknowledgement. “Am I still banned from the castle or can I go in this time?” “I am afraid you are still banned from entering, Robert Gadling,” the hippogriff neighed. “But the Royal Librarian expressed the desire to be informed of your next visit.” With its long, whip-like tail, the wyvern gave a heavy crystal ball to Hob, who looked at it quizzically. "To talk with someone, call their name,” the reptile explained. “The crystal will do the rest.” Hob stared into the iridescent reflections of the sphere with a newfound interest. If he called for Morpheus, could he talk to him? Could he really reach him so easily? His tongue itched with his friend’s name, but Hob forced himself to swallow it back. It would only scare Morpheus further, and rightfully so. It would be intrusive and a terrible breach of trust. No. No matter how much Hob craved to talk to his friend and make things right, he couldn’t force it. He had to let Morpheus come to him when he was ready. He could wait. Hob was good at waiting. He cleared his throat. “Loosh, are you there?” he asked the crystal ball.

Tagging @the-apocrypha , @embroiderling and @avelera , no pressure to participate of course !

[dreamerwriternstargazer]

I slept in today

My stomach hurts a lot less. I’m not feeling so sick and I am hungry

Yesterday was… is… too much still, I can’t wrap my head around it

I’m not having bad dreams exactly but I’m not having good ones and the dreams are… disorienting

So I’m going to continue watching Doctor Who with my friend today ^_^ we watched Aslyum of the Daleks and she REALLY enjoyed it said she really liked the silliness and sarcasm of 11 and Clara’s dynamic and the plot twist got her

She also really liked Amy and Rory

And I specifically asked if we could continue today it’s only meant to be Fridays but I need the distraction and she was really interested and I think she wants to help me, so she said yes ^_^

So… Snowmen today

I want to study, but I’m also…. My brain’s just broken and I could barely concentrate on Doctor Who yesterday. So I’m just gonna ride this out. If I find at some points I feel ready to or interested in studying I will, but I’m at like… barely able to function settings

And I’m scared because, this is obviously putting me back a bit in work and studies. But also, I think my dadi’ammi genuinely needs regular help and visits and how can I do that if… if I’m not functioning for days after a visit? I want to help.

Suddenly my struggle before of having to visit randomly seems like nothing, at least it wasn’t regular

I don’t want to have to say ‘I can’t help/visit’ either. I could, my mum worries it’s too much for me but I refuse I can’t… admit it cripples me that much

I’ll figure this out I just need to process. Too much yesterday to process

I think one thing I did figure out though. Me getting worse in the past year? It’s the isolation.

I would still pick this over lying and faking it and my boundaries being crossed. But I understand now why I put it off so long, confronting him, I understand why I’ve become so much more paranoid and depressed. Because I knew this would happen, I knew I’d be treated as an outcast from the family. And I can joke on the good days and I genuinely… I know that I’d rather be an outcast than to continue on knowing the kind of people I’m surrounded by, and pretending it wouldn’t be true for me.

Because sooner or later the dream ends right? It needed to for Oswin

But it’s torturous realising. Realising you are trapped by the Daleks and surrounded by them, and all along you thought you were doing okay. It’s torturous and infuriating and painful realising you aren’t anything to them, all of them.

The dream feels nice, soothing, like nothing bad could really happen.

But it already did. They were already… this. But it hurts to finally feel it and see it.

And there’s so many factors to how I’m struggling more, it’s also true that I’m doing a lot better in some ways. I’m not really isolated, I have just dropped the fake family and I need to build a real one. It just so happens that the injuries I’m suffering are making it so so so hard to connect again.

Oswin still won though ^_^ torture and all.

She wasn’t a Dalek even after their attempts at a full conversion

Even after the dream fell away.

She still beat them.

This post is messy I apologise my mind is still…. Basically incoherent

It made me smile bitterly when we were talking when I noticed my aunt, pointing out all the stuff I had to in childhood, validating me. Like oh you dealt with so much more than just teen hormones you took care of the house and stuff

It felt condescending. And blind to all I’ve dealt with in reality. I didn’t just mother my siblings I older sister-d the rest of you lot, only you keep punishing me for it. Anyway it doesn’t matter because I won’t anymore

*shakes head and buries my face into pillows*

I’m… I’m really dissociated now and I feel like I can’t feel. Or make sense of anything. I can’t even comfort myself or calm myself it’s like I can’t grasp at any of it

It’ll pass. It’ll pass Insha’Allah

I’m not completely shut down I can write this… yesterday I felt too destroyed to… talk much.

So it’s passing.

[sunshine-overload]

[BSTS] Main Story S5Ch5 ‘Dark Flare’ Part 1

Getting these posted before the second half drops !

Chapter 1

-street, daytime-

???: (on phone) ...Yep yep. I just got to the shopping district I think. But somewhere along the way I messed up. Like come on, every shop here has similar signs and the streets are all so narrow~! I don't even know which street I just walked out of... I have no idea where I'm going.

-he spots saki-

???: Ah, hey hey Miss, you over there! I'd like to ask you a quick question...!

saki: Hm? Are you talking to me?

???: Ah thank god, thanks for helping me, luck must be on my side today!

saki: (I haven't even agreed to help him yet...)

???: I seem to have gotten lost you see... Could you tell me where this spot on the map is? Oh woops, I'll hang up first.

-phone beeps-

???: See here, this store. I'd like to go there.

saki: Hm? That place is...

???: Are you familiar with it Miss? I'm saved then~! I'm glad I don't have to worry about getting lost.

iwami: Weren't you already lost?

???: Ah, Iwa-san! Jeez, you could've showed up sooner~

iwami: Big talk for the kid who disappeared from our arranged meeting place.

???: But that's just cause I can't wait to meet Team B! I couldn't sit still any longer.

iwami: There's no point if you show up on your own, you'll just be turned away at the door.

saki: (Is this person a friend of Iwami-san...?)

iwami: Anyways, who would've thought you'd catch Saki-san here. Is it your hobby to get dragged into other people's business like this, young lady?

saki: Ahaha…

???: Huh, what? You guys know each other? Oh wait I got it! You must be the rumoured princess, right Miss? Nice to meet you, my name is... um...?

iwami: Hinata, got it?

hinata: Right right, that's what it was, Hinata! I'll be known as Hinata at Starless, alright? That's how things work there after all.

saki: U-um, yeah... Nice to meet you too, Hinata-san.

hinata: Ever since I heard that I'd get to see Team B's show today I've been super hyped about it! You should come with us!

iwami: This was some good timing, could you teach him a bit about Starless as we walk, young lady? Like the right route to take, you were headed there anyways weren’t you?

saki: Yes, I was planning to...

hinata: Yay! This really was a happy coincidence then. I'll be in your care, Miss ♪

—end

~

Chapter 1 extra 

-hospital room-

nurse: Good morning Haseyama-san. The sun's shining again today. Let's see, blood pressure and body temperature are both normal... Hm?

haseyama: .........

nurse: Am I imagining things or?

haseyama: ko...nn...

nurse: He's regained consciousness!? Haseyama-san, can you hear me?

haseyama: ..........

nurse: Haseyama-san! I'll call the doctor right away ok?

-time pass-

kei: So, what you mean to say is that he woke for merely a moment and then fell back into unconsciousness?

nurse: Yes, I'm most sorry for calling you out here so urgently.

unei: There's nothing you need to apologise for! We are grateful that you contacted us. The fact he woke up at all means he should be properly out of his coma soon right?

nurse: I'm sorry, but we don't know that for sure yet.

unei: Is that so...

yakou: Did he communicate anything to you in the brief time he was awake?

nurse: I wouldn't call it communication but if I remember correctly... He mumbled "ko, nn" before falling unconscious again.

yakou: "Kon"? I wonder what he was trying to say.

unei: Maybe he was trying to say navy blue? (*kon-iro)

yakou: What would he have meant by that...?

unei: Kon...kon... Ah! Could he have been imitating a fox...!?

(*in Japanese 'kon' is the noise foxes make)

yakou: That doesn't make any sense either.

unei: Um, did he happen to say anything else?

nurse: No, it was just incoherent mumblings. Excuse me, but I must go and check on some other patients.

unei: Thank you for talking with us whilst you're so busy.

-nurse leaves-

yakou: If it was just incoherent mumbling as she said then it's likely it had no deeper meaning.

kei: We won't know until Haseyama himself has woken.

—end

~

Chapter 1 SideA

-locker rooms-

ran: Alright! I've done myself up to be one stunnin' young man once again today-!

kongou: Ran, the hair on the back of your head is still sticking up.

ran: What? But I just got done hair sprayin' it!

lico: Would you be quiet. I have to get set up here too so stop freaking out in front of the mirror.

mizuki: Geh, what's it matter spending so much time on that.

ran: Aw c'mon, why aren't ya more excited, we finally get to have another solo performance. Heath is lookin' healthy lately too!

mizuki: ...Are you sure about that?

heath: I'm fine. Rather, I'm actually feeling quite good today.

akira: Oh, the whole B gang is here, give it your all out there~

mizuki: The heck, what are you here for?

akira: I just came to collect something from my locker~ What about you? You look like you're all fine at least.

mizuki: Duh of course. So we don't need you getting involved.

lico: No need to blow up at every little thing, Mizuki. Akira's just here to check on us.

akira: Welp, if anything happens just give me a call.

heath: Mm sure. Don't worry though, we won't need to.

akira: I am your understudy just in case. Anyways, see ya~

-akira leaves-

lico: Well, it is true that Heath's role this time isn't on the stage the whole time. So we should actually be good. Rather than Heath, isn't it you we should be worried about right now, Mizuki?

mizuki: Huh? What's that meant to mean?

lico: What are you even going for with your interpretation of Oba Yozo? Shouldn't he be more timid?

mizuki: Who gives a shit about interpretations. All we need to do is match the energy of Heath's song.

kongou: While it's true our show gives a different impression than the source material 'No Longer Human', I think it's fine the way it is.

ran: Yeah it gives off a feelin' like 'if you're feelin’ rejected come on over here~' y'know what I mean?

heath: We don't want to be shoved into the box of what's considered 'normal' by society. Because that's how Team B is.

mizuki: Hahah, as expected your ideas are the best, Heath! Alright then, let's get goin' already you guys.

-mizuki leaves-

lico: Hey... I'm being serious here, please quit overdoing it. If I catch you looking even a little unwell I'm subbing you out.

heath: ...I know. I don't want the audience to ever have to see me like that again either.

—end

~

Chapter 1 SideA extra 

-starless break room-

ginsei: .......

sotetsu: What're you reading?

ginsei: Ah!? Oh, it's just you two.

yoshino: Sorry for frightening you. Which script is that you're reading?

sotetsu: You were reading it with one intense expression, is it that immersive?

ginsei: Oh this? It's the script for B's current show. Kongou let me borrow a copy.

yoshino: Why are you reading their scripts again...

sotetsu: What are you scheming this time?

ginsei: It's not like I'm trying to involve myself in B's performances or anything. It's more like an analysis, I guess you could call it research. 

yoshino: On the script?

ginsei: Yeah. Reading the other team's scripts has been great learning material. 

sotetsu: Really? 

ginsei: It's because I can analyse them more objectively than our own scripts. This one's especially interesting, seeing how it differs from the original source and how it's been adapted.

yoshino: 'No Longer Human' is what it's based on right? 

ginsei: Yeah, that's it. Since Mizuki is the lead role it makes you see that Oba could even be depicted in this way. It's fun making new discoveries like this.

yoshino: Could it be that you're planning to continue properly studying scripts from now on?

ginsei: In my own way, yeah. So I'm planning to check out every show's script like this. 

yoshino: I see.

sotetsu: There's no way you'll have enough time for all that.

ginsei: True, that's the biggest problem at the moment. If the staff shortage issue could be solved I'd be able to devote myself to it more...

yoshino: We have no choice but to ask the temp management team if they can hire more people. It's not like we can do anything about it... I think your efforts are a good idea though Ginsei. I have to do whatever it is I can as well.

sotetsu: Looks like a flame has been lit in you. Jeez, you're all so diligent.

—end

~

Chapter 1 SideB

-starless hallway-

unei: Ah, Qu-san. Could I borrow you for a moment? I have something I'd like to discuss with you...

qu: It's rare of you to seek me out, Unei-kun. 

unei: In regards to this you're... No, you're the only one I could ask, Qu-san!

qu: Sounds like it's serious, what is it?

unei: Please, could you give me your opinion on my costume design once again!

qu: Hm...?

unei: I'm sure you'd give me a straightforward assessment of my design proposal! Here, I took a picture of what I drew...!

qu: I'm not sure I'd be much help with that.

unei: That's not true! You assessed my design last time, remember? If I can get your ok on the design then it's almost guaranteed everyone else will agree to it too!

mokuren: Don't block the hallway, you're in the way.

zakuro: It looks as if you're putting on a single act comedy. Though it is also true that I am quite interested in your design Unei-kun, to a surprising degree.

mokuren: Don't say anything unnecessary, Zakuro. And you too, Qu. Just refuse him straight up. If you're late for our reservation in lesson room 2 I won't be happy about it.

qu: Well, you heard them, sorry Unei-kun.

unei: Aw~....

zakuro: My my such heartbreak. If you'd like more ideas than that... Why not make a trial costume for yourself? If you do that then no one would interfere.

unei: Uu... B-but that wouldn't solve the problem...

qu: If you want to solve the main problem then wouldn't finding a costume designer be the best move? How's that been going?

unei: Um well, the temporary management team has been asking around within their acquaintances...! Taiga-san made a post about it on our blog too but so far we haven't gotten any responses. 

qu: Probably because it's not that flashy of a job offer. I guess there's nothing we can do for now but wait and see.

mokuren: Unei, I couldn't care less what you do, but I won't let you off easy if you get in the way of our rehearsals.

—end

~

Chapter 1 SideB extra 

-rehearsal room-

taiga: Their show’s starting soon, yeah?

takami: Are you concerned for Team B?

taiga: Nah, I wouldn't go as far as to say I'm concerned. But I wouldn't say it's unrelated, I'm just wondering how things are going to go, I guess.

akira: Why do you keep glancing at me?

takami: Well it's true that Akira has a relationship with them at the moment.

akira: Ew why'd you have to word it like that.

kokuyou: How stupid. All it means is that you weren’t needed this time, nothing more nothing less.

akira: I suppose~ Basically if Heath’s feeling fine and dandy then I don’t need to appear.

takami: That’s because Mizuki’s opinion that Heath is their one and only MC won’t change.

sin: As long as Heath doesn’t collapse then, hm? The water in the fountain has already overflowed. The time for enlightenment is still in the distant future.

taiga: Being their pinch hitter is even more of a pain than just being a regular understudy though. I mean, do B really plan to just continue handling things like this?

kokuyou: Who knows. As long as they aren’t hindering us I couldn’t care less.

taiga: Wouldn’t it cause quite the drama if we were to have a versus with B and Heath isn’t able to perform though?

kokuyou: If that ever happens then it would be on Mizuki to take full responsibility.

taiga: The responsibility of being a leader huh?

takami: I don’t think a malicious versus such as that would even happen in the first place.

kokuyou: You never know.

—end

Chapter 2

-starless lobby-

iwami: So, what did you think of Starless' Team B?

hinata: They were amazing...! I knew seeing them live would be completely different to just watching recordings! It's not even comparable! Do you always get to watch their shows like this, Miss? I'm so jelly-!

saki: You really love Team B huh, Hinata-san.

hinata: Well duh! I'm still freaking out just standing in the lobby here. I'm not dreaming am I? What am I gonna do if I get to meet Team B~!

iwami: Oi oi, isn't that the whole reason I brought you here?

saki: Huh? Then do you mean...

iwami: Oh, look who chose the perfect time to appear. Hey, Mizuki.

-mizuki walks over-

mizuki: If it isn't Kouichi. Saki too, what're ya doing standing around out here?

iwami: We had just been watching your show.

saki: The performance was great, I had a lot of fun.

mizuki: Course it was, it was a B show after all.

mizuki: ...By the way, who's the blondie?

iwami: I invited him along, his name's Hinata. He's a massive fan of Team B.

mizuki: Oh? He's got good taste then.

hinata: (gasp) ...Oh my god! H-He spoke to me...!

mizuki: Huh...?

hinata: Holy crap... Mizuki in the flesh makes such a huge impression! His gaze is so intense! Aha, my heart feels like it's gonna explode~! I'm so glad I came here today~!

mizuki: The hell's up with this guy?

iwami: I already told you, didn't I? He's a massive fan of Team B.

hinata: I've loved Team B for ages now. This is the first time I've gotten to see you perform in person, it was crazy intense. 

mizuki: Ah, y-yeah...

hinata: Your show today was amazing as always obviously, but still, it was on a whole other level! Heath's rap was especially great! The song, his voice, he's just the best, I admire him so much! No scratch that, I respect him so much!

mizuki (awkward): Hahah, is that so?

hinata: Yeah, Team B really are the best aren't they? I want to join! 

mizuki: You what...?

iwami: I heard that you lot were understaffed, so isn't this a good opportunity to increase your numbers?

mizuki: Quit saying stupid shit.

hinata: I'll rehearse till I drop! The name 'Hinata' too, I was given it by Iwa-san for this so...!

mizuki: No way. B is the five of us, no one more, no one less. As if I'd let some guy I know nothing about join us just like that.

hinata: Huh? So you're saying I can't then...?

iwami: I see, so the main requirement is that you have to understand who Hinata is then?

mizuki: What?

iwami: Well, that's how it is Hinata. Do something about this yourself from here.

-iwami leaves-

hinata: Ok, I will! 

mizuki: What!? Hey, wait, Kouichi! What the hell... I don't get this.

—end

~

Chapter 2 extra

-starless office-

iwami: Appears you haven't fixed your worker shortage yet.

kei: Iwami... I didn't expect to be hearing that from you.

iwami: Well, I'm mostly just here to say hi. I felt like I should talk to you lot.

yakou: Is this about that person you brought along to be a potential cast candidate...?

sinju: The guy who wants to join B right?

iwami: Oh so you're all already aware then? That saves me the trouble of explaining things. Well, that's how it is, I'll leave him in your hands.

-iwami goes to leave-

kei: Halt. There is still something I want to inquire. 

iwami: It's rare for you to ask so nicely when you're usually so rude to me. What is it?

kei: I want to know your true motive.

yakou: Yeah, why did you suddenly bring in a cast candidate...

iwami: You said you were understaffed so I brought someone in, what other reason would I have besides that?

sin: A notion that even the devil could verify.

sinju: It's surprising to hear that a new person just randomly showed up.

iwami: My apologies. But it's not a bad deal is it? He's rearing to go, no matter how you look at it he'll prove useful. He's of working age too of course. He won't cause the store any disadvantages.

sin: And what is it that you desire beyond this?

iwami: For this store to prosper, don't I keep telling you all this? Plus, as always there's been shady fellows hanging around the store’s vicinity... So wouldn't having more people here be beneficial?

kei: As an outsider you have no say in such a decision.

iwami: I'm well aware. I'll be leaving Hinata here, It’s up to you lot to decide what to do with him.

-iwami leaves-

sinju: I wonder if he really is doing this for the sake of the store.

yakou: ...I'm not so sure.

—end

~

Chapter 2 sideA

-rehearsal room-

mizuki: Alright, let's stop here for today.

ran: Ah~ I'm so tired. Isn't the last part of the performance way too complex?

lico: Aren't you the one who was whining about wanting it to be more flashy? Don't start complaining about it now.

ran: Ya but I didn't realise the difficulty would increase this much.

kongou: But because of that I think our show tomorrow will be even better.

mizuki: Make sure you get some rest. If any of you are shit tomorrow I'll beat your ass. Heath you too, you're banned from any solo practice today.

heath: I know. I'll be going straight home.

-hinata runs in-

hinata: Mizuki, are you done with practice!?

mizuki: You- Why the hell are you here!

hinata: I wanted to talk to you, so here I am! I really want to join B no matter what.

lico: What? Who's this kid?

ran: Someone Mizuki knows?

iwami: Kouichi brought him here...

hinata: I'm Hinata, nice to meet you all! But nevermind that, ohmigosh, Heath is here~! Your show the other day was seriously the best!

heath: ...Thanks.

kongou: I'm not exactly following but, why are you looking to join B...?

hinata: I love hip hop so I became a fan of B. I want to be able to rap like Heath does.

mizuki: That's obviously not gonna happen.

hinata: Aw but why~? Even though I love B so much...

mizuki: We don't need any other MC but Heath.

hinata: So you mean I can be a performer then?

mizuki: I didn't say that.

lico: Nevermind all that, the hell is even going on here? Explain, Mizuki.

mizuki: I don't know either!

hinata: Hey hey, I can perform too y'know. Here, watch!

-hinata dances whilst stumbling-

lico: Dude... He can't perform at all. Why the hell was he acting so confident about it?

ran: (laughs) He really can't huh. Well, his sense of rhythm is sorta there.

kongou: Even so... Mizuki, what are you planning to do about this?

mizuki: I got no fuckin' idea, go and ask Kouichi.

lico: That bastard... He really is the worst.

heath: .......

-heath leaves-

hinata: So, how was that? I threw some moves fitting of B in there right? Uh wait, huh...? What happened to Heath, did he leave already?

ran: Hm? Oh ya he's gone.

kongou: I wonder if something happened.

lico: Who knows, maybe he just had no interest in you.

hinata: Whaat-! But I really wanted to hear what he thought...!

—end

~

Chapter 2 sideA extra 

-locker room-

sinju: Maica, Nekome! Listen to this, something crazy happened yesterday.

nekome: You seem pretty excited, is it something interesting~?

sinju: Iwami-san brought in a new cast candidate that's hoping to join Team B. He's called Hinata.

maica: Huh? What are you talking about? Why would Iwami-san... Is this what he meant?

sinju: Do you know something about it Maica?

maica: No... Well, what kind of person is this Hinata guy then?

sinju: I don't know, I haven't met him yet.

maica: He didn't introduce himself?

sinju: All Iwami-san told us it that he's leaving him here and we can do whatever with him. I think he's already met Team B by now at least.

nekome: Intriguing~

maica: How about you Nekome? Do you know anything about this new guy?

nekome: Hm? I've been too busy with my own matters to know anything else.

maica: That so.

sinju: I suppose it's a good thing, getting a new cast member.

nekome: Even without considering Heath's situation it's still better than nothing. Plus if there's more staff the the burden on those working in the hall will lessen.

sinju: That would definitely be helpful! Lately I've barely been able to make it to my shifts.

maica: True, but on the other hand, what will happen to Akira then?

nekome: Guess we'll have to wait and see~

maica: ...Also, whether he's hired or not may depend on what kind of guy he is.

sinju: Rindou said the same thing when I spoke to him before.

maica: You can't tell how capable someone his just by looking at them.

nekome: Well, that goes without saying.

menou: Yawns... Hey, is what you all just said true?

sinju: Uwah!? You were here too Menou?

menou: We're getting more hall staff then? So does that mean I can keep napping?

sinju: Of course not! Nothing's even been decided yet.

menou: Huuh~? That's too bad then.

—end

~

Chapter 2 SideB 

-second rehearsal room-

kasumi: Hah~ Thank god, I made it just in time.

mokuren: Hmph... One more minute later and I would've sent you flying with a kick.

kasumi: I remember you said that and ran here as fast as I could.

qu: Were you busy with temp management work? As always you guys seem swamped with tasks.

hari: It would be advantageous for us to solve the understaffing issue quickly.

kasumi: Yeah I guess~ We were just discussing that before actually.

mokuren: Did you find someone new to hire? In that case what's the problem.

kasumi: Mm~ The issue is more with who brought in the new person.

zakuro: My my, seems yet another complex problem has arisen.

kasumi: Well y'see, yesterday Iwami-san brought in a cast candidate. It appears he's looking to join Team B, so it became a question of what we should do about this.

hari: If he's accepted would that mean Tam B has two understudies then?

zakuro: Hm... And what would the issue with that be?

hari: There shouldn't be any. I've heard that in the store's early days it was normal to have multiple understudies.

qu: I think the issue would lie with how those involved feel about it. Including Akira of course... What does Mizuki and his team plan to do?

kasumi: Seems they're undecided, which is to be expected. That's why he hasn't been accepted as an official member yet.

mokuren: In that case, we'll take him.

kasumi: What?

mokuren: If a new person is joining then I want him on our team. Even more so if Mizuki's wavering.

kasumi: Um but, we don't even know what he's like or if he's capable.

mokuren: Then we just have to drill him with dance lessons. It’s a perfect opportunity for you to teach them, Hari. You agree with me that having an understudy is necessary, so there shouldn't be a problem.

qu: ...You don't seem to be joking.

mokuren: Of course I'm not. If a member’s poor condition has even the slightest chance of ruining our dance then it's no laughing matter.

qu: That's... I can't refute that.

mokuren: It's decided then. I'll go and invite him.

—end

~

Chapter 2 SideB extra

-second rehearsal room-

qu: Mokuren, about that conversation earlier. You really are serious about recruiting him then?

mokuren: I already said that, didn't I?

zakuro: My my, the smell of commotion once again. The scent is quite enticing to me however.

hari: It is true that Team C are also in need of an understudy…

mokuren: Not just that either. Being in mixed teams for Christmas and the June Bride show wasn't half bad. Since I was able to experiment with new things. 

qu: So because of that you want a new member to join us?

mokuren: If the mood stagnates then our dancing will rot. We can't be confined by staying the same forever. Kasumi, what is the name of this cast candidate?

kasumi: I heard that it was Hinata~

mokuren: Got it. 

kasumi: Wait, you don't intend to look for him right now do you?

mokuren: I'm going to go and capture him before it's too late.

-mokuren leaves-

hari: By before it's too late they must mean before Mizuki's able to come to a concrete decision.

qu: How overbearing hm? 

kasumi: I agree with the opinion that we need an understudy though~ 

zakuro: It is said that while some things remain unchanging one must still be open to the new. Even water that is unable to turn into clouds will stagnate overtime and become dead water.

hari: Seems like we're all of the same opinion here then.

qu: Hinata said that he wants to join B though didn't he? Wouldn't it be wrong to forcibly bring him over here.

hari: It would depend on how Team B sees it, but it's true that as things are now it could be considered a robbery.

kasumi: Well, whatever happens happens~

zakuro: Lately, Mokuren seems to be trying to find a new spark in the melodies themselves.

qu: I guess this means C has to evolve as well huh…

—end

To Part 2

[pokemonpo]

pmmm vtuber au ramble (apologising in advance if its really incoherent)

I got encouraged to brainrot jnfajkgnj (this is directly copied from my google doc so its really messy sorry ;;)

Mami, sayaka, kyouko and madoka all vaguely knew each other in their streamer past lives

(all youngish adults in college, Mami has graduated tho) 21-23

Sayaka and madoka are childhood friends

Madoka used to run a youtube channel called KNM Ch, where she would post vlogs and challenges (mild ones). She would also occasionally try to do advice videos. She got fairly popular (kind of), then started to do craft videos with Sayaka and Hitomi occasionally making guest appearances. She later sold these online for her 2k celebration. She starts streaming after entering highschool, but stops uploading and streaming entirely to take entrance exams, after which she announced that she would no longer be uploading. 

The vtuber agency KYUBEY inc. has had several waves before Magia Quartet, including an earlier food themed wave, with a few members, who unfortunately ended up graduating due to real life commitments. The only one left being Charlotte.

Magia Quartet debuted when Madoka entered college, with Candeloro, Ophelia, Oktavia von Seckendorff and Kriemhield Gretchen. The next wave, Homulily debuted alone, but had lore so tied to the Magia Quartet that most fans consider them the same wave. It reached the point where the company ended up officially combining both waves, renaming them to Holy Quintet. Homura is a long-time fan of KNM Ch, and started watching Madoka since she only had about 20 subscribers. She found Madoka at a low point in her life and this kept her keep going. To donate to Madoka, she used the online name devil_AKM, and this name became widely known as Kaname’s insane fan after Madoka started streaming for a week, and they kept donating max supas. Homura’s grades dropped drastically after Madoka announced her departure from the channel, but she somehow managed to bring them back up before it was too late.

While Madoka released several pieces of handmade merch for her 200k celebration, Homura ended up only getting like 2 pieces of jewellery. She wears one religiously, and the other is kept safely in a ziploc bag at home.

Homura still has poor health in this au. Alot of the wishes made in the original PMMM dont come true, except for Mami’s. So she’s still very much an orphan, but she isn’t as lonely due to the support of her online friends. 

Kyouko and Mami are longtime online friends due to being in the same content creator circle. They later broke away due to some disagreements, but did tell each other that they were probably going to stop creating content on their current accounts due to reasons.

They later met during a zoom call, and after a while they reconciled. 

Homura applied for the role of homulily after seeing Kriemhield Gretchen’s debut. Her own cute ditzy debut left a big impression.

After sayaka’s debut alot of people would frequently put ‘hazukashi.. Low hp’ in the chat whenever she dies in a game. She later made an emote with this. 

When they had their first off collab, they ended up showing each other’s faces beforehand so they would be able to recognise each other in public. Homura has an awful sleeping schedule, so she only ended up sending one in at around 12, but forgot to remove her KNM Ch earring. She quickly deleted it but Sayaka saw it and immediately cornered her. They got weirdly close after that.

Sayaka streams alot of rhythm games and occasionally plays music. She plays other games too, but once in a while she does mixing streams for fun. In the beginning, Madoka and her collab alot, occasionally doing handcam streams together, but after getting close to the rest, Kyouko and her end up streaming together alot more.

Mami does alot of handcam baking/cooking streams, as well as cake and tea reviews, to the point where alot of people are like you might as well be an irl streamer instead. Afterwards, she started playing games like cooking mama, and more mainstream family games like mario party, but alone. She streams at weird times due to her full time job, and it makes it difficult to coordinate with the rest of the girls. She ends up streaming alot with Homura after the official merge.

Homura and Madoka are both variety streamers, in that you can never predict what’s going to be on their schedules. Homura starts off tame at first, but alot of her streams end up being wild as time goes on. Once, she started giving such detailed information about bombs, her manager ended her stream immediately and took it down. Plays fps with Mami alot. Once, Sayaka and Homura had an off collab guerilla cooking stream together for cream stew. Madoka joined and said wow cream stew my favourite! The stream’s audio then immediately cut out for 10 full minutes, and then ended. It later came back on and neither Sayaka or Homura addressed it, and the vod was later heavily edited. Till today some people still bring it up, some people assuming they’re lying due to the low amount of concurrent viewers at the time.

Alot of the content of Madoka’s streams is very similar to what she did for KNM Ch, but now equipped with a bigger budget, she does even more stuff. Her main content is still craft streams though. 

Kyouko does alot of just chatting streams, and alot of food reviews. She gives alot of good advice, but most people don’t realise because when you open her channel all you see are fighting game streams and food reviews. Plays alot of two player games with sayaka like we were here, and river city girls. They bicker alot. 

Sayaka and Homura hang out alot offline secretly after the earring incident. They often go to arcades and do karaoke together. Once Sayaka uploaded a pic of their maimai scores accidentally onto her Oktavia von Seckendorff account instead of her sub account and the rest of the quartet replied with stuff like damn yall hanging out without us? + fans went wild Sayaka tried to play it off because too many people saw it and said she was hanging out with another friend, but opened her discord and got bombarded. Homura bought another aime card after that, but it didn't change much. 

Timeline of events is as follows 

Magia Quartet > Mami and Madoka both hit 100k subs > Magia Quartet off Collab > Domain of the Devil solo wave > Plans for a MQ + DD off Collab, along with Nagisa > Plans fall through, second MQ off Collab > Homura is free, they plan another meet up > Homura hits 100k > Homura second lore video drops > Company announces merge, Holy Quintet is formed > Homura sends the wrong photo > off Collab > Homura passes out at the end of the day after everything

In a wild turn of events, Kyouko ends up moving to the same city for uni. After the first year, Sayaka and Madoka end up rooming together. They realise they all live in the same city after planning the first HQ off Collab. 

Sayaka calls Homura transfer student after the merge.

Sayaka and Homura play project sekai and taiko tatsujin together at some point, and they start hanging out offline to go to the arcade. Homura starts to destroy sayaka's sleeping schedule. At some point, Madoka goes over to Mami's house for a tea time cake baking off Collab, and Sayaka mentions something along the lines of Yea Madoka loves cream stew, and Homura goes over to Sayaka and Madoka's house to learn it. Sayaka off-handedly mentions it would be good content and so they stream it.

It was both their first handcam stream, and it was extremely terrifying for everyone watching. There were multiple times where parts of Homura and Sayaka's hair and arms got into frame, but they got the hang of it by the middle of the stream. 

Some more intense fans caught a glimpse of Homura's earring, but most people didn't know where it was from due to Madoka not keeping up the 2k merch announcement after everything got sold, and the fact that Madoka used to be an irl cc.

Homura wears the earring accidentally to the first day of the offcollab, but her hair is so long Madoka doesn't realise. She takes it off after Sayaka teases her about it.

Homura appears in Madoka's chat all the time, but in reality they don't collab much or talk much. Once, Madoka invited Homura over for an off Collab zatsu. Homura was so nervous she came off as super stiff and awkward, to the point where alot of people stopped watching an hour in, and several fan theories came out that they hated each other. Most people missed the little chat they had after saying their goodbyes where they hadn't realised they were still live and had a heart to heart, and the vod was later taken down. Since then Homura has been genuinely in love with Madoka.

They start talking more after Sayaka posts the maimai photo on the wrong account.

There are multiple Oktavia bickering compilations on YouTube. Oktavia's top shipping tags are ChurchPiano/Oktphelia and Lilvia , especially after the wrong photo incident, and how much they collab. Alot of people theorise that Homura and Sayaka are together

This changed after Homura, Kyouko and Mami's drunk zatsudan though, where Homura got super hammered and started rambling about a super cool YouTuber she used to watch that changed her life and how much she loved her. Kyouko said something like lol parasocial and Homura said it's not if we are friends. This vod got taken down and edited shortly after, but it was clipped to hell.

They have an offline meetup to go to a dessert buffet together with Kyouko, and Kyouko has never felt more like a stranger than in that moment. 

Unnecessary detailing

KYUBEY Inc. calls their talents Puella Magi. Originally marketed similarly to hololive in that they’re supposed to be idol type characters. The theming started to change overtime as the company got bigger, so now the idol rules aren’t as enforced anymore. Magia Quartet was originally advertised as a 90s weaponry branch, but this was never fully confirmed. Magia Quartet is the second branch to no longer require the members to be able to dance and sing, though Connect was released a month after Holy Quintet was announced.

The company prioritises efficiency over effectiveness, and started releasing waves closer to one another after the initial success of the Kamihama branch. They later stopped this after the Holy Quintet merger.

Each branch is separated by city.

Following nijisanji type rules, on their anniversary the girls get second outfits, which are usually their witch forms. A few exlivers have come out to say that usually after receiving them, they don’t know when to use them due to them being so different compared to their first outfit. Due to this, competition for a third outfit is rough. Every graduation from this company has always come at least in pairs. A few exlivers have offhandedly mentioned working for a black company after leaving, but this has never been confirmed. There’s never been a termination. Once, they released a limited edition line of energy drinks themed after certain livers. The backlash was immense, but they went through with it anyway. These drinks are now heavily scalped online for thousands of dollars. The taste has been said to be indescribable.

Live interactions between full waves (with most members still active) are rare. However there’s an annual competition between all waves held at the end of the year. After the Holy Quintet merger, due to Nagisa’s wave only having her left, for the first Holy Quintet 3D live performance Nagisa was considered part of their wave. The reception was good, and collabs between the Holy Quintet members and Nagisa increased.