#i will never learn bro i hate men

[terrorbirb]

I know I complain about this constantly but it frustrates me whenever I need to edit a template to say "the engineer. She....". Instead of "the engineer. He.....". When it's a female engineer. I don't think anyone else has ever changed the pronouns but IDK! I think we should stop using "he/him" pronouns as the default for engineers on official documents!

Our office is rare in that it's 50% women in engineering so idk why we put up with this.

I know this is a small thing but it frustrates me. I'm really not supposed to edit these letters but I can't help myself with this.

[saetoru]

AGE IS NOTHING BUT A NUMBER — GETO SUGURU.

kinktober day two — overstimulation ; find masterlist here

synopsis. befriending nanako and mimiko has its perks—like fucking their father, for example. suguru might have aged over the years, but that doesn't mean he's lost his touch. don't believe him? that's okay—he can always just show you instead

length. 5.3k words (bro this fic was agonizing)

contents. minors do not interact, fem! reader, dilf! suguru, college au (reader is a student), age gaps (20+ difference), jealous suguru, teasing, cunnilingus, fingering, edging, nipple play, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, creampie, pet names (baby, sweetheart, princess, angel)

notes. this took me so long bc i hate it so im posting it and running away to play genshin to slave away for primos

most people can tell their best friends everything. not you, though—you have a secret. a dirty, shameful, horrible little secret, in fact.

no one knows that every chance you get, every small little moment you can possibly squeeze in, you fuck your two best friends’ father—and it’s going to stay that way, unknown and forever hidden. suguru is young as far as parents go, just barely in his twenties when he’s found himself a single father of two, but that doesn’t mean he’s not too old for you. and it especially doesn’t mean that it’s not inappropriate to fuck the man that raised your two closest friends.

you meet nanako and mimiko during your freshman year of college—the rest is history. the first time you spend the night at their place, suguru (he insists you call him that on your first meeting) is overjoyed that his girls have someone as lovely as you.

who wouldn’t be? you’re smart, well-mannered, respectable, and incredibly studious. what a perfect role model for his girls—after all, every father’s worst nightmare is his sweet, precious daughters venturing off to the real world. men are dogs—suguru should know. they’re sleazy and prey on young women who are naive and unsuspecting, taking advantage of their hopefulness before completely destroying their innocence. suguru can’t bear the idea of his perfect little girls becoming victims of such sinister behavior—but that’s all quelled when he meets you.

but he never thought, not even for one second, that he’d become one of those men.

those older men who fuck girls half their age—the girls that are barely in their twenties and still don’t even really understand how taxes work. the girls that have just started to learn how to hold their alcohol and can only recently buy it legally. the girls who don’t realize how complicated adulthood can be, just barely spreading their wings and learning what it’s like to be free.

suguru has always found those men deplorable. they’re the awful, disgusting, untamed vermin of society—women must be protected from them at all costs.

but now? well….now he’s one of them—and he finds, even as disgusted with himself as he is from time to time, he has little regrets.

not when you’re sprawled under him, hands tracing over his bare chest, feeling the soft skin under your palms in wonder. suguru, though he’s not let himself go by any means, is past his prime—he still frequents the gym, and he has more time to go now that the girls are gone most of the day, but he’s not immune to the effects of aging.

his hair has more than a few strands of white sprinkled in now; nanako makes sure to remind him not to pull them out unless he wants more. he’s still managed to keep the abs he was once so proud of in his youth, but they’re still not as hard—layered over a slight belly that he can’t seem to get rid of no matter what he tries. his skin is a bit looser, and his eyes have slight wrinkles in the corners of them, but despite it all, suguru still looks as handsome as ever.

he’s aged well, still looks remarkably young for men his age, and still looks like that dashing young man he once was who stole hearts. in fact, he still hears about his looks, especially from nanako and mimiko’s friends—he’s always chuckled to himself and shook his head in amusement.

that’s your dad? god, he’s so hot.

what? he’s single? oh my gosh, do you need a mom?

i can’t believe he’s never been married—women in his generation don’t deserve him. i’ll take him off their hands.

wait, do you have pictures of him when he was younger?

oh my god, he’s so fine. are you sure he’s in his forties?

nanako and mimiko, bless their hearts, have always crinkled their noses at the…less than proper comments they’ve had to witness about their father. in fact, they’ve watched teachers practically throw themselves onto suguru at parent-teacher conferences. it’s bothersome—a little disturbing to hear their friends talk about all the things they’d let their dad, of all people, do to them.

but you? you don’t make unhinged comments. they appreciate that.

but if only they knew…

if only they knew that sometimes, like right now, when you’re spending the night, you don’t actually sleep—instead, you sneak off to their father’s room, lay on his mattress under his body, and feel his touch. you can feel him, hard and throbbing in his sweats as his clothed cock presses against your thigh—but he takes his time with you, and doesn’t do anything about the clear arousal pooling between your legs just yet. 

instead, he focuses on remembering your body—it’s been a while, after all. he hasn’t felt your hips, hasn’t tasted your skin, hasn’t heard your voice. 

“missed you,” suguru breathes, hovering over you as you hum, nipping at your skin as his nose brushes along your neck. your hand is playing with his hair, twisting long, black and white strands along your fingers. “haven’t seen you in a bit, angel.”

“i’ve had midterms,” you murmur.

suguru knows—nanako and mimiko have been studying for them themselves. he’s more than a little disappointed that you haven’t come over to study with them yet. but then, just the other night, mimiko mentions you’ve been spending your time with a boy at the library, sharing a table as you lean over his shoulder to look at his laptop. nanako giggles that you might have finally gotten yourself a boyfriend. mimiko hums and nods as she murmurs it’s about time.

suguru swallows down every bite of dinner with an aftertaste of bile that night.

a boy—a boy? you’ve been skipping coming over to study with the girls (and, by default, seeing him) just to study with some boy? what’s got your attention on the guy so badly? why would you break the routine you’ve had for the last few semesters for someone you just recently met? have you finally started to realize that this is a mistake? is suguru a mistake?

he thinks maybe not, now that you’re back in his bed—but he still has too many unanswered questions. 

“so i’ve heard,” he says lowly, “i’ve also heard there’s a certain boy on your radar.” he smiles bitterly, pulling away from your neck to stare at you with those dark, sharp eyes of his. “a much younger, and fitting match for you, i suppose.”

you roll your eyes, snorting.

“is that what nanako and mimiko have told you? honestly, those two,” you huff fondly, “i told them already. he’s just my partner for a presentation. we’re practicing.”

“oh?” suguru raises a brow—and then he shivers lightly when you lean up and kiss his jaw, eyes fluttering shut at your touch.

“yes,” you giggle, “no need to be jealous of someone half your age, you know.”

“that’s exactly why i’m jealous,” he breathes, leaning in to kiss you softly.

your lips taste like honey—probably sweeter, in fact. they drip with that decadent, saccharine taste of youth. he feels twenty again every time he kisses you, feels not a day older than his glory days.

“oh, you poor thing,” you grin, cupping his face as you scatter kisses along his cheeks and nose, thumb tracing the skin. fuck, is this what it feels like to be in love? it makes him feel so young, so free, and hopeful for the future. when was the last time he felt this way? “have you been losing sleep over my nonexistent college boyfriend?”

“well, kids your age fool around quite a bit,” he says in that father tone that he uses on nanako and mimiko, “what was i supposed to think?”

you’ve heard that tone so many times before; the one where he talks like he knows better, like he’s wiser, like he’s aware of something you’re not. 

girls, make sure you share your location with me—i need to find you in case anything happens. it’s for your own safety, end of discussion.

make sure you watch over your drinks, okay? men these days take every chance they get to spike them when you’re not looking. mimiko, i was your age once, too. i’ve seen this happen plenty.

don’t walk alone in the streets at night. call me. i’ll pick you up—no, nanako, it’s not lame. the streets are dangerous at night. there are creeps, you know.

don’t get into any boy’s cars, girls. you never know what’ll happen; one mistake is all it takes to ruin your life—hey, don’t roll your eyes at me. one day, you’ll understand i’m right.

“i’m not a kid,” you pout, and then, smugly this time, you wiggle your brows. “did’ya lose sleep over my imaginary boyfriend? you need plenty of sleep at your age, y’know.”

“no, you’re not a kid,” suguru agrees, “you’re a brat.” and then he’s back to pressing those hot, open-mouthed, hungry kisses along your jaw, humming in delight when you angle your head to give him better access. 

sometimes, it’s fun to get under suguru’s skin—it’s fun to break that carefully built, mature patience of his, pulling a twitch of his eye and a furrow of his brow from him. so, you grin widely as you murmur, “who knows? maybe he’d fuck better—more stamina, y’know?”

it’s supposed to just tease him, to make him glare at you unimpressed so you can giggle and kiss between his brows—but suguru stills at that, painfully stiff for a moment before he bites at your skin. hard. 

“oh yeah?” he hisses, his voice low and dangerous as he pulls away to glare down at you, “you think so? what, you think an old man like me can’t fuck you long enough?”

you don’t get a chance to reply—not before he pulls your pants down your waist to reveal your soaked panties, pulling a hum from him as he grins at the damp patch of fabric. his fingers circle over your clit for a moment, right over the cloth, making your breath hitch as you buck into his touch. 

“suguru—”

“look at that,” he chuckles, “wearing my favorite one, huh? can’t fuck you that bad if you try your best to impress me. isn’t that what you wanted? is that what you were thinking when you put these on before coming over? how precious,” he murmurs—he speaks so condescending, so knowingly, as if he’s read your mind just by looking at the red lace covering your dripping cunt. you cover your face in humiliation, but he grabs your wrists and pins them over your head, clicking his teeth in disapproval. 

part of you knows you should quit while you can—the other part? well…it wants to test the limits a bit longer. suguru has never been so easy to rile up, you want to indulge in it for just a bit longer if you can help it. 

“well,” you huff, “what’re you waiting for, then? don’t tell me the age has slowed you down—”

“you really don’t know when to quit, do you?” he says in a low snarl, “fine, you want me to hurry up? you got it, princess.”

it all happens before you can even register—one moment, you’re grinning at him with mischief in your eyes; the next second, he has you in nothing but your bra, bare in his bed as he pulls your legs apart and leans close to your pussy.

“you know the thing about guys your age,” he hums, toying with your clit lazily as you gasp with a twitch, “is that they really don’t know how to take care of anyone but themselves. guess they just don’t have enough experience to really figure it out.”

his lips latch onto your clit, sucking before he rolls his tongue over the sensitive bud as his fingers sink into your core, pushing past your folds and stretching you open. it’s slow—deliberately so, in fact. it makes your head spin, and your fingers curl into the bed sheets as you pant. 

“suguru, m-more—”

“don’t worry,” he coos, pulling away from you to grin up at your glossy eyes, “you’ll get plenty, baby. we’ll see if you’ve got the stamina. y’know, since you’re so young.”

his lips are back to wrap around your clit, fingers sinking and curling exactly where you’re most sensitive—suguru finds your sweet spots instantly the first time he has you sprawled under him. didn’t even take a moment of trial, just knew where to touch and kiss to have you unravel in his hold. that much still hasn’t changed—his fingertips press against the sensitive spot in the back of your walls, pulling pretty little whines from you as his tongue flicks over your clit. 

it’s always been a blessing that nanako and mimiko’s room is across the house—had they been closer, they might hear the mewl you let out as his fingers bully into you faster, unforgiving as they brush against your walls and build the ache up between your legs until it’s about to burst. 

“s-suguru, ‘m close, so, so close—”

“already?” he gasps, chuckling as he presses a kiss to your clit with a sly grin, “thought you had more in you than that, baby. so youthful—figured you’d last a bit longer.”

he’s mean about it—rubs it in your face some more that you’re so close so fast before he pulls his fingers away and doesn’t even give you the satisfaction of falling apart on his digits. it makes you sob, hips bucking up to chase the friction of his fingers, but he’s already gone, leaving your walls empty and fluttering around nothing.

“no,” your voice breaks, “n-no, so close, please. i want—”

“that’s what he would’ve done,” suguru hums, “pulled out before you even finished. that’s what guys your age always do—they don’t know how to make girls finish. you ever had that problem with me?”

“no,” you say quickly, shaking your head. you’re a pretty little thing, he thinks—pouty, wobbly lips and those glossy eyes as you sniffle. “no, you always make me cum—please, i wanna cum, sugu.”

“yeah?” he pouts with faux sympathy, “didn’t feel good, huh? feels better when i take care of you, doesn’t it?”

“uh huh,” you nod—you’re still panting through the aftershocks of having your orgasm ripped from you, chest rising and falling harsh enough that it fills him with pride he can pull such drastic reactions from you. no one knows your body like suguru—he’s too good at giving it what it wants for anyone else to compare. 

“think that boy—” he spits the last word like it’s poison on his tongue, “—can take care of you?”

“no,” you whimper, “no, he can’t. not like you, never like you.”

“that’s a good girl,” he nods approvingly, rubbing his slick-coated finger over your clit, toying with it teasingly as you writhe, whining for more. “you know something else about men your age? they don’t care to please a woman—don’t bother to appreciate them enough to make them feel good. you think that boy would be here—” he pauses to motion between your legs, where he’s currently situated, “—willingly? taste you willingly? let you cum on his tongue willingly?”

“i-i don’t…i never asked someone to—”

“did you ever ask me?” he interrupts, raising a brow at you, “you ever have to ask me? i just do it. wanna know why? because i know what i’m doing—know how to treat you right, how to give you what you need. isn’t that right?” 

“yes, yes—you always give me what i want—”

“what you need,” he corrects, “and you know what i think you need right now? this.”

his tongue licks a stripe along your entrances before you can say anything else, pulling a gasp out of you as your hands find his hair and tug—suguru groans at that, feels his pants get impossibly tighter as the aching erection he sports throbs between his legs at the way you pull at the strands so desperately, so needy. for him. only ever him. 

his tongue fucks into you, messy with the way he devours you, the slick arousal pooling from your cunt coating his lips, his cheeks, his chin. you moan—and really, it’s almost a squeal—when his fingers are sinking back into you, tongue flicking away at your clit mercilessly as he thrusts his digits in and out of your pussy. you’re close, painfully so, the pressure steadily building and building until you just can’t hold it back anymore. 

“sugu—’m c-cumming. god ‘s so good—feels good,” you babble, thighs closing around his head as his fingers curl into your sweet spot over and over again, not stopping for even a second as he helps you ride out your high. your walls spasm around his fingers, tight as they flutter around him and make him groan at the thought of being inside you. 

he watches, hungry and in awe, as your back arches off the mattress and your mouth parts, broken little wails of his name rolling off your tongue in a sweet melody. 

“i bet he’s never seen someone look like this,” suguru murmurs, watching the way the ecstasy takes over your features as your face falls slack from pleasure, “so pretty when falling apart. bet he’d never even get close to making you look so fucked from just his tongue.”

your orgasm ripples through you—it’s not new, the way he makes you feel so good, but it’s definitely nothing to get used to either. your body slumps back onto the mattress as you finish, panting harshly while he climbs up to hover over you once again. 

“that felt good?” he asks, nosing at your cheek as you nod breathlessly.

“yeah,” you breathe, wrapping your arms around his neck. 

“hope you’re not tired out just yet,” he says smugly, eyeing the way sweat clings to your forehead and huffs of air exhale from your lungs with each labored breath, “because we’re nowhere near done, baby. not even close.”

just like that, your bra is unclasped and pulled off, freeing your tits for his mouth to latch onto a nipple, sucking and lightly grazing his teeth along the bud while his fingers tease at the other, pinching and rubbing over it with his thumb. you whine, eyes squeezing shut as your hand cups the back of his head and keeps him in place. 

“bet i could make you cum just from this,” he says with a laugh, “i don’t even need to fuck you.”

“please,” you dig your nails into his shoulder, moaning as he switches to wrap his lips around the other nipple, “please, sugu—n-need more.”

“be more specific,” he says lowly, looking up at you in amusement, “gonna need more than that, princess. you gotta help me out here—i’m afraid i don’t know what i’m doing.”

suguru is doing everything he can to drag this out—if you’d known one small comment would have him riled up like this…well, truthfully, you can’t say you wouldn’t have made it anyway. it’s exciting in its own right when he’s so determined to show you why you need him, why no one else but him is meant to see you like this, make you fall apart like this, have you sprawled under them like this. 

no one can know about you and suguru—not nanako and mimiko, not your other friends, not your family. you know what they’d say, how they’d feel. 

disgust—shame, even. he’s far too old for you, you know they’d say; he’s a red flag for getting with someone so young. no one can know that you come here, dead in the middle of the night when your friends are asleep, and fuck their father. not only that—lay with their father, talk about your hopes and dreams for the future with their father, giggle as you gossip with their father, fall in love with their father. 

something tells you the feeling is not unreciprocated—that suguru feels the same, that he loves holding you in his arms just as much as you love laying in them. maybe it wasn’t a joke, what you’d said. not to him, at least—maybe deep down, it stung; maybe he had something to prove. that boy might be closer to you in age, but he’ll never, ever treat you the way suguru does—no one will, for that matter. perhaps he has to show it so you really know. 

so you look him in the eye, pull him closer until his forehead is pressed against yours and you can press a delicate kiss to his lips before you murmur against them, “fuck me, suguru. please—need you.”

he groans at that, closes his eyes before his hips move to press the thick tip of his cock against your folds, dragging it along your entrance as he coats his head with your slick. it’s flushed a deep pink—it’s been neglected for so long that he shudders at the way it aches, at the way even the slightest friction along the sensitive tip pulls a soft gasp from him. 

for a moment, he wonders if he really will last long enough to fuck you properly—he might not, with the way your walls always squeeze around him, always have him ready to fuck his load into you just as soon as he’s inside you. the thought alone almost makes his cock twitch—but suguru is a man of patience, so he slowly pushes into you, inch by inch, looking down and watching as his girth disappears inside you. 

“look at that,” he coos, grinning wide as he looks back up at you, “took me so easily. ‘s cause when you do it right, it doesn’t take much, does it?”

“f-fuck—” your head presses back against the pillow, mouth hung open as you breathe heavily, trying to squirm and get even the slightest bit of friction from him as he stays painfully still. “move, suguru—please, c-can’t wait anymore. jus’ wanna feel you.”

“i know,” he chuckles, “patience is a virtue, sweetheart.”

despite it all, suguru is not feeling very patient anymore—it’s been long enough. his hips roll slowly at first, a shallow thrust of his hips that makes you both moan lowly before he all but pulls out and slams back in, hard. you can feel the burning stretch of his girth practically splitting you open, every thick vein dragging along your cunt and every brush of his tip against the back of your walls. it’s loud—the sound of skin slapping against skin, the sound of his deep groans and your breathless whines, the sound of the headboard hitting the wall as he fucks you into his mattress. 

“god—fuck, suguru—th-there,” you mewl as he slams into you right where you need him. 

you’ve lost count of how many times suguru has fucked you like you’re his. in his bed at night, in his shower in the mornings, on the couch when you drop by when the girls aren’t home, in his car that one time he drove you home when it rained, in your apartment that one time he dropped off your laptop because you forgot it. there’s one common denominator—the way he makes you feel, not just from the way his cock ruts into you, but from the way his fingers tangle with yours, from the way his mouth finds your jaw to kiss, from the way his forehead presses into your shoulder with warmth. 

it’s exciting, maybe. at first, it’s scandalous and a little thrilling in its own right. by now, it’s something much more than that—you don’t think anyone could make you feel the way he does, fuck you like he does, even if they tried. even if they knew where to touch and where to kiss. even if they knew what you liked and what you didn’t. 

they couldn’t be suguru—would never be suguru. 

“there, huh?” he pants, moaning softly as he feels your walls flutter around him tightly, “i know. i know how to fuck this pussy—my pussy. you think some boy you hardly know would know? think he’d care to learn? think he’d even try?”

“no,” you gasp, shaking your head as your hips buck up to meet his sharp thrusts, “no. no one would make me feel this good. make me feel so good, sugu.”

“ngh—sh-shit,” he hisses at your words, cock almost swelling harder at the way you praise him, at the way your words are almost slurred with no real thought behind him. it’s a little pride-inducing, the way you’re still able to sing his praises without having to really think about it first. he can hear it, the way you’re lost in the drag of his cock, drunk in the haze of pleasure, unfocused on everything else besides the way he bullies his thick girth into your abused cunt.

it’s a mess, it’s filthy the way there’s a mix of pre cum and your slick at the base of his cock, along your inner thighs, coating your skin as the squelching sound of him nudging past your folds fills the room.

it’s good, the way he makes you feel—he can hear it in your voice as you wail his name.

“s-suguru—oh.”

“what, you gettin’ all fucked out on me? ‘m not even close yet, princess,” he hums, leaning down to kiss your neck as he sucks softly into your sweet spot. you throw your head back, rasping out a cry of his name again as his balls slap against your ass with a harsh roll of his hips. 

and then his hand makes its way between your bodies, thumb attaching itself to your clit before rubbing punishing circles into the bundle of nerves—you sob at that, back arching up as your chest presses against his, nipples hard as they brush along his skin.

“s-sugu—close, ‘m gonna cum a-again—so close,” you pant brokenly, every sentence cut off with a sharp gasp as he thrusts into you. 

you’re close—you can’t fight back the way the coil in your belly snaps as he teases your clit. it’s still sensitive from the last orgasm, every nerve still burning up from before as he gives you more, gives you too much, almost. you cum harder this time—your second high creeping up on you when you least expect it. 

it makes your eyes roll back, makes your thighs quiver, and tears stream down your cheeks as you chant his name over and over. suguru, ‘s so good. suguru, ‘m cumming. suguru, ‘s all for you.

every sentence makes his cock drill into you faster, sloppier in rhythm, maybe, but faster. needier. bordering on desperate. 

“f-fuck, baby,” he grunts, “squeezin’ me so tight—such a tight fuckin’ cunt. you think just anyone deserves this? think you can just walk around and let anyone fuck this? ‘s bullshit—ngh.”

you don’t answer—can’t answer, in fact. it’s all teary eyes and soft sniffles as you mewl with every thrust, voice breaking between every pretty little sound you make. he’s still fucking into you, still dragging his cock against those sensitive walls, still bumping against your clit with his navel, still nudging against your sweet spot with his thick, swollen tip. it’s almost too much—it is too much, making you writhe under his body as you try to form the words. 

“‘s t-too much, sugu—c-can’t anymore,” you try, “can’t.”

“what?” he gasps, furrowing his brows in mock confusion, “you’re tappin’ out on me already? but ‘m not even done yet, sweetheart. haven’t even finished yet—don’t tell me you’re already spent. how will you keep up with your little boyfriend’s stamina if you can’t even take an old man like me?”

“c-can’t take anyone but you,” you sob, “jus’ you—only you. promise.”

“yeah? you swear?”

“uh huh. jus’ you, sugu—don’ want anyone else. won’t fuck me the same.”

“atta girl,” he coos, chuckling as he leans down to kiss your jaw, trailing soft pecks until he meets your lips, “that’s what i thought. make sure you don’t forget, okay?”

“fuck, suguru—’m…g-gonna…”

“gonna what? cum? you’re cumming again?” you nod at that—he grins wide, pride settling into the crinkles of his eyes before his thumb rubs harsh circles into your swollen clit once more. he looks pretty like that—hair framing his face, the mix of black and white strands sticking to the damp skin of his forehead. his skin is flushed, abs flexing as he pants over you. sometimes you feel guilty that half of why you come over to visit nanako and mimiko is to fuck suguru—the guilt is quickly extinguished when you see him like this, bottom lip caught between his teeth as his arms barely hold him over you, eyes shut tight as he groans. 

“i-i’m—fuck, fuck, fuck,” you can’t form sentences anymore as you cum—again. not that you really could before that, but now all you can offer is croaked half-syllables and shaky sobs. your walls squeeze around him, tight as they hug around his throbbing cock. 

it takes one, two, three more sloppy rolls of his hips before he lets out at a low, “baby, fuck—’m gonna fill you up. want that? want me to cum in you? make you mine? always been mine, haven’t you?”

“yes, yes—yours, sugu. yours, yours, yours,” you babble, words slurred between breathy moans and broken sobs. “wanna be yours.”

you can feel him—feel the way his cock twitches in you, the way he grinds into you to ride out his high, the way sticky, hot ropes of cum fill your walls, the way he fucks his load deeper into you with every sloppy thrust of his hips. his arms quiver as he holds himself over you—just barely, though. you can hear the way his voice cracks as he gasps your name over and over, as he mutters lowly about how you’re his, how you’ll always only be his. 

“mine,” he grits, “you’re fuckin’ mine—see how you’re suckin’ me in? see how i fit in this pussy like it was made for me? ‘s cause you’re mine.”

his body slumps onto yours as he finishes, head pressed into the crook of your neck as he kisses the skin while you both catch your breaths. you whimper, still sensitive, as he pulls out of you, a soft chuckle falling past his lips as he pulls his head up to look at you and press a kiss to your cheek. 

“so,” he starts, eyes laced with amusement as he takes in the fucked out look on your face, the tears still drying your cheeks, the swollen flush of your bottom lip, “still think you need someone with more stamina? someone who’ll fuck you better—”

“god,” you groan, slapping his shoulder, “will you drop it already? you got what you wanted, didn’t you?”

“no,” he murmurs, pecking your lips, “still wanna hear it some more.”

“your ego needs a reality check,” you huff as you brush a strand of hair from his forehead, “think i’ve fed it plenty all night.”

“actually, i think you crushed it,” he pouts theatrically, “talking about some asshole who doesn’t care about you right in front of me. after i take such good care of you, too. the girls already think you should date him,” he adds the last part with a slightly bitter roll of his eyes, pulling a giggle out of you.

“they think i don’t know how to talk to men,” you snort, “imagine they knew i was talking to men old enough to be my father.”

“hey,” he clicks his teeth, falling onto the mattress beside you—he pulls you into his chest, letting your cheek rest on his bare skin. it’s so wrong—lying in bed with the father of your best friends. but somehow, suguru feels like the only thing you’ve ever done right. “age is nothing but a number, sweetheart.”

if i have to see the word cock one more time im going to eradicate all humans that have them

do not comment about a part 2 !!!!!!!!!!

[santrrl]

Logan Howlett with Metalhead!reader, face piercings, tattoos, dark clothes - the whole get up.

i need grumpy x sunshine too, like reader actually being a cute little thing :')

L.H X METAL!HEAD READER

Author says; Thank you so much for your request!! I love doing them,l so this is gonna be the first of a few hopefully !<3 I LOVE this idea, and thus this is gonna be so fun to write !! HEHEHEHEH

The first and second part are split between bullet points, and then the actual story so i hope i got this right!! I'm so sorry if I didn't as i have only seen few x-men and dp+w, so i apologise if it's not good!!

BULLETS :

-Once he meets you at first he physically stops. Like, physically, shuts down for a moment.

-Bro was born in 1832, and somehow, this was his first time seeing so much piercings in so many...visible places. He was fine with ears, as long as it wasn't too bad, but more than three? He's gonna shake his head like a dad and shrug it off.

-At first he would probably think you're some emo, hormonal meanie, so when he finally takes a jab at you, he stops dead AGAIN. You? You wearing layer after layer of black n white are more energetic than he thought? What?

-at some point during your years of knowing each other, of course youre gonna be in his contacts. He never saw ':3' before, but..you learn something new every day.

-The first time he sees so many tats on one limb, he doesn't know whether to be amazed or turned on. So he opted for both.

-"Hey, you okay?" He'd smell the freshness of your new tats, and always find a way to let them be a excuse for him to talk to you.

-You look so....different, so mean, yet, you're so nice? He couldn't understand it. He loved being mean to the people that deserved it, why you felt bad and guilty? Over his head. But the pure fact you looked like a meanie, but weren't? God he wanted to destroy you.

FIC; (Kinda? Im so sorry if its bad, not correlating to the above)

"Welcome to Charles Xavier's school for gifted youngsters. I am Charles, by the way." The man in front of you would grin, opening the doors to the busy entrance. Some students were walking, others chatting and others were showing off their mutations.

"This is where you'll be spending, ah, the majority of your time." Charles grinned, snatching a paper plane out of the air. "Easy, Rodger." He smiled at the boy, who flushed red. As quickly as he turned red, he also turned as white as your eye shadow. And blush. And everything else that you had on that was white currently.

He quickly scurried off, whispering to his friends. "They'll get used to you in time. They think you're cool." Charles chuckled. As you made your way through the tour of the school, you eventually landed back to where you had started. "Any questions?" Charles asked innocently.

"I got one. The fuck Casper the ghost doin' here?" A gruff voice perked up, as I looked behind Charles. The man coming down the stairs practically had a halo on him with the way he had descended the staircase, white wife beater stained from God only knows what.

"Logan." Charles warned. "This is Logan, Logan, this is our newest addition." He introduced. "Keep this one away from magneto, all those piercings." He grimaced. "Oh, my god hi! I've seen so much of you! You're so cool my family adores you so much-"

Logan was confused. He didn't know what to be more confused about, the fact you looked so mean but were sweet, or the fact your rambling went on for eighteen minutes. He wasn't mad about it though. If anything it was...pleasant?

After a few days at the mansion, seeing what you could do, you ironically became quick friends with the rugged man. Even people who had never seen him smile were asking you what it was like. The press had deemed you two - 'Bumblebee team.' Mainly due to your black attire, and his majority yellow view.

And also because it sounded like grumble and hee, implying his grumpy nature and your happy outlook. The media seemed to love you more than hate you however, the nickname ghost, and vampire among others being thrown around, alongside your chosen name.

It only took a few months before the man found himself being more attached. Demanding he be with you on missions, protecting you at all cost, it only took so much in him to not flip you under him when he saw how truly tatted up you were, when after a fight majority of your costume had ripped.

He even went to such lengths as waiting for you every morning to walk you to breakfast, lunch, whatever. "Bub can't the makeup wait?'' He'd sigh, before turning around, already knowing he wasn't winning this fight as your music played in the background, drowning out the sound of a shoe hitting him.

Eventually, he got so fed up of waiting at one point, he just leaned over your desk, and wiped your lips with his thumb, before kissing you and walking away, obviously making you follow. "Just a way to make you hurry up." He'd laugh. LIES.

Those kisses eventually led to heated makeouts, and safe to say, you'd be fixing your makeup more than a few times a day.

IM SO SORRY IF ITS BAD LEMME KNOW AND ILL REWRITE <33

[sc0tters]

Littlest Hughes - Mark Estapa

summary: when a game of beer pong turns interesting you learn to realise that your brothers friend isn't so bad after all.

trope: forced proximity

warnings: sexual themes, p in v (unprotected!), underaged drinking, swearing, fingering.

word count: 3.67k

authors note: to the people that remember when this idea came out in like November, thanks for being patient cause Mark and the beerpong fic are now here! everyone thank @hischierhaze for making this one come out long before she was actually intended to be here for you all. if you want to look at more of the 500 celly then you can do so here!

You swore you hated him. 

It was the idea of having someone you couldn’t stand in the slightest. The kind of person you couldn’t even be in a room with as you just wanted to gauge your eyes out. Someone who made you feel so irritated that the mere thought of them had you getting angry. 

Now you have weren’t entirely sure why he pissed your off in the ways that he did. But as Mark seemed to hate you just as much as you hated him, you were never going to be in a rush to improve your relationship. Yet the problem arose when he instead opted to get close to your brother, Luke. 

The boys were teammates and it was enough to make your whole family agree that your negative relationship with Mark wasn’t enough to stop him from being invited to the lake house. It was Luke’s first summer as an NHL player and those friends from college were the very men that Luke missed so much. So being the best younger sister that you were, you agreed to bite your tongue. 

That’s how you landed up spending a week with his closest friends and for the most part you were having a good time. 

“God you are such an ass!”

Key word, for the most part. 

Mark smirked as he held your top over his head leaving you in nothing more than your blue and yellow bikini “you and I both know that those aren’t the right words.” He teased continuing to lean up each time you reached for the baseball jersey “I will kick you Estapa stop being a dick.” You spat as you crossed your arms sending him a glare. 

Before Mark could respond Luke walked into the room “bro could you not leave my sister half naked?” Your older brother gagged as he shook his head “till next time kid.” Even though there was less than two years between you both Mark still loved that nickname. 

So as he dropped your shirt in your hands you couldn’t help but scowl at him “fuck off.” You growled pulling the shirt over your arms “you wanna go on the boat you two?” Jacks offer pulled your attention away from the boy as you nodded “sounds great!” You nodded leaving the boy alone as you went to be in peace for the next few days.

You weren’t a hockey player, it wasn’t your thing but what is your thing is beer pong. Yet unfortunately for you it seems that the only person worthy of being your opponent was Mark. So that was how you both ended up being the last ones left in what felt like the longest game of beer pong that anyone had seen “you two see an end in sight?” Quinn groaned as he looked down to his watch when he let out a yawn. 

It was this endless back and forth where you would each win a game and would then refuse to let them take it and that’s how you ended up at 12-13 with the only rule that to be crowned champion you’d have to win by two games “you ready to give up?” You sent the boy a glare as it only made the Michigan player laugh “just when I thought you could have been stronger than you actually came off.” The compliment was backhanded as Mark laughed. 

The boys responded with groans as the idea of this game continuing made them all feel sick “I’m going to bed.” Quinn announced as he shook his head “me too.” With that boys went in groups as your constant bickering got tiresome. 

Seven games had gone on and the new score was 16 all and you were just as irritated now as you were then “could you hold off on killing each other until tomorrow?” Ethan asked as he let out a yawn “want to watch it happen.” Mackie laughed as he nodded in agreement only going quiet when Luke sent them a glare.

Your brother rolled his eyes as he placed his hand on your shoulder “please just let him win so you can both go to bed?” Luke mumbled hoping that you would agree “never.” You grumbled as you refused to give Mark that kind of joy. 

So of course things continued and you guys were left alone but not before Luke kissed your head “now you don’t got your big brother helping you out.” Mark teased as he got the ball between his fingers as he lined up his shot. 

Mark smirked as he saw you pull your hair into a hair tie “tryna distract me with your skin?” The boy mumbled seeing your collarbones pop through the red cami vest that your were in “cause it’s not gonna work.” He added making you laugh. 

It was a hearty one as your teeth caught your lower lip “please the mere thought of tits are gonna have you not seeing straight.” You pressed your hands against the table exposing your body more to him “you wanna bet?” Mark made little effort to ignore the white lace that so clearly stuck out of your top. 

He took your silence and furrowed eyebrows as curiosity “winner takes all this game.” The hockey player offered making her scoff “higher stakes though as we’re now doing strip beer pong.” His offer was only met with the sounds of your scoff.

You crossed your arms as you couldn’t help but send him a glare “you just want to see me naked.” You rolled your eyes not wanting to give into him “don’t flatter yourself princess you aren’t my type.” Mark shook his head as he wasn’t interested in you like that “but if you are scared you’re gonna lose then I can accept-” you couldn’t even let him finish his sentence. 

“Throw the damn hall Estapa.” 

A scoff left your lips as you watched him go back to angling the hall and of course it just had to land in the beer “should we go with your shirt or your shorts first?” Mark teased as he watched you hook your fingers into your shirt before you pulled it over your head revealing the white bra you loved so much as it had a little golden v in between the wires to compliment your skin “not bad.” The boy mumbled to himself as he had seen you in less before but never in something with lace. 

You took your cup and brought it to your lips letting the unsweetened liquid hit your tongue as you chugged it back not caring at the amount that dripped down your chin “what?” You asked dropping the cup to the ground as the boy looked like he was watching a dream “nothing.” Mark ignored how your lips were wet and the top of the lace of your bra as getting soaked as beer dropped down your chest. 

Of course your ball went in and off went his shirt, it was followed by your shorts and then his. Until eventually you were both only on your undergarments “need some help getting that bra off?” Mark joked as he watched you reach behind your back but not before you flipped him off. 

The idea of anyone being able to come down at any point didn’t seem to bother either of you as you clicked the clasp of your bra letting it fall down your arms as the cool summer night air made your nipples harden “you really do have secrets Hughesy.” Mark felt his mouth water as his eyes were drawn to the sparkling titanium bar that was pierced through your left nipple “shut up.” You grumbled as you attempted to ignore the way his hardening stare made you feel. 

As you potted your final ball it left the boy having to discard of his boxers “don’t bother with those.” You mumbled leaning down to grab your bra from the floor “would hate to see what isn’t there.” The claim was a total slap in his face and you knew what you were doing as you aimed to piss him off. 

It infuriated Mark with how well you knew to get under his skin “please you’d be lucky if I fucked you.” You began walking over to him as your bra was thrown onto the table “Mark I don’t think you even know how to make a girl come.” You shot back as you pressed your finger into his chest “I’d have you struggling to walk tomorrow.” Mark shook his head as he wrapped his hand around your wrist pushing your hand away from his chest.

This was the closest you had ever been to him before as his eyes pierced yours “I wouldn’t fuck you if you were the last man on this planet.” You laughed as you turned to walk away but the boy was quick to pull you back “so if I felt those pretty little panties would they be dry?” His voice was barely a whisper as he walked you back against the table until you were finally sat on it.

Your eyes were wide as you shook your head desperate to not give him the enjoyment of seeing that he had indeed won “be as dry as the desert.” You spoke through gritted teeth almost squealing as Mark dug his fingers into the skin of your hips “you gonna let me test my theory then?” He asked dropping his head to the point where his lips hovered over yours.

All you could do was nod as you before his lips were on yours. It was messy as your hands your tugging through his hair like you didn’t want him to ever leave you “fuck.” He grumbled feeling your teeth sink down onto his.

It was like you knew what you were doing as you smirked “even as I’ve got you ready for a good fuck you’re still acting like a fucking brat.” The college boy growled pinching your chin between his fingers as he clenched his jaw “what are you gonna so about it?” You sent him a smirk as you swore that if this was a battle, you were winning it.

Mark spoke to himself under his breath as he dropped his head to your jaw as he began planting kisses on your skin “shouldn’t even fucking treat you well.” His voice sent shivers through your ears as he continued dropping his lips down your chest “saw you looking at it.” His eyes locked onto your breast “you can touch it y’know.” You teased tugging your fingers through his hair making him groan in the process. 

He wasn’t going to be told again as he latched his lips around your pierced nipple as he groaned swirling his tongue around the piece of jewellery “fuck.” You swore trying to shut your legs to relieve the tension between your thighs “you still think that I can’t make you feel good?” Mark brought his hands down to your legs making you shiver as he forced your legs open. 

You chewed at your lip watching him get closer to the pool that had formed in your panties “when I speak you need to answer me princess.” You swore the hockey player growled as you nodded “know you can’t.” The tough facade you had up was hanging by a thread and it only grew weaker with how his hands grew closer to your core.

A gasp left your lips as his hand cupped your core “fuck!” Your moan was swallowed by his lips “you little liar.” Mark clicked his tongue as a wet patch formed in your panties “please.” His thumb pressed against your clit where it drew soft circles.

Your head dropped against his shoulder as your body grew soft “what do you need pretty girl?” Marks voice was soft as he left a kiss on your forehead “you.” You croaked out as he toyed with your panties finally pushing them to the side. 

Mark teased you as you shook your head “want more.” You whimpered looking up at him with a pout “please.” You begged edging your cunt closer to his fingers “didn’t know that all I needed to do was fuck you to get you to shut up.” Mark sighed as he teased your slit. 

His fingers took their time plunging into your cunt “god!” Your groan was swallowed by his hand “you want your brothers to hear how much you enjoy my fingers fucking your pussy?” The hockey player rasped into your ear as you shook your head. 

His fingers were thick against the walls of your cunt as he curved his fingers into a come here motion “they can’t.” You mumbled growing panicked as you were reminded of how all three of your brothers were upstairs “then keep those pretty little lips shut if it’s not gonna be too hard for ya?” Mark tauted you as you mewled under his attention.

You clenched around him as you nodded finally going quiet “like having you all quiet now.” As you tilted your head up trying to bring your body closer to his Mark took the opportunity to nip at your neck “no!” You gasped as he inserted a third finger not caring about your protests. 

Mark smirked as he didn’t care “think you’re in a place to make the demands?” He scoffed as he clicked his tongue “thought you were smarter than that.” The hockey player teased as you pouted “the boys are gonna see.” You complained as his eyes sharpened. 

Somehow the words made his whole demeanour change “you worry what those boys are gonna think of you now?” Mark spat as he increased the pace of his fingers as he fucked your cunt “like you really gonna now care about them seeing you like the slut you’ve become f’me?” He added standing up straight as he glared at you. 

Your lips remained sealed as you tried to writhe your hips against his hand “remember pretty girl you answer me when I talk to you.” The hockey player warned “I’m your slut.” The words came from your lips as it made him grow surprised. 

The words made his cock grow hard against his boxers “you happy to see me or what?” You smirked feeling it press into your knee “think I need to fuck this behaviour out of you.” Mark grumbled pulling your panties down your legs as it hooked around your ankles. 

You had finally pushed Mark to a point where he had snapped and he wasn’t ready to come down from it yet “fuck I don’t have a condom.” The boy complained as he hadn’t exactly thought that having sex on this trip was on the cards for him “on the pill.” You shook your head offering a counter point that he gladly took. 

Being a hockey player you weren’t surprised that his cock was on the larger side of big but you had to admit that your mouth did water when he retracted his fingers from your cunt to pull his boxers down letting his boner hit his pelvic bone “you still sure that this is what you want?” Sure Mark thought you were still irritating but the even with that irritation he still believed in consent “please.” You whimpered as you bit down on your lower lip watching in awe as he pumped his cock a few times before he tapped the swollen head on your clit coating it in his precum. 

There was a moment between you both that if you weren’t still so buzzed from the alcohol in your system you would have sworn that there was something that could have mirrored something romantic between you both. His lips were soft on yours as his cock slowly creeped into your cunt letting your walls stretch to accommodate him “fuck you’re perfect.” Mark gasped as he sunk his teeth into your shoulder as he kept himself from coming on the spot. 

He had a few moments of just staying there with his cock frozen before you finally cleared your throat “need you to fuck me Mark.” You coughed out as the boy turned his face to look at you “please.” You didn’t need to ask twice as he nodded letting his hands grip at your hips as your legs locked behind his hips. 

Even as you were outside with the breeze your skin felt like it was on fire when his eyes pierced your gaze “how many guys you let have this tight little cunt of yours?” Mark made little effort to try to avoid the fact that he was jealous of his own question when the idea of some other guy fucking you came into his mind. 

As his cock throbbed in your core you struggled to stay focused “j-just t-tw-two.” You stammered falling over your words as his thrusts became deeper “and did they make you feel this good?” Mark swore that the image of you beneath him struggling to even shake your head as your breasts bounced with each thrust that he made, would he engraved in his brain forever. 

The first time you had sex was in high school when you lost it to your boyfriend of two years and you were both virgins. He came within a couple of pumps of his cock and left you there frustrated and alone as he went to shower only handing you a wet cloth before he shut the door behind himself. The other was a jock that was only sleeping with you to get the attention of an ex so the moment she came knocking on the door he went running back to her. 

So if you truly thought about it Mark was your first time, not the embarrassing your overly awkward one. But your first time where you knew he was confident in what he did “didn’t come.” Even as you barely whispered those words Mark still heard you and he couldn’t help but smirk. 

If anything Mark took that as a reason to quicken his thrusts as he watched your eyes roll back “gonna make you feel so fucking good then.” Your brain fog made you wonder if he was merely thinking aloud or actually talking to you “and to think that you really put up that whole act before?” The hockey players teasing tone had you clenching around him as you propped your hands up behind you to stop you from falling back. 

His hand took the opportunity to slide between your bodies as he found your clit “you’re so fucking pretty when you’re so cock drunk.” The compliment came with a groan as he began toying his thumb over your clit “not gonna last.”

You warned not caring who heard your whimper that echoed from your chest.

Mark felt his thrusts grow irregular with how you cunt squeezed his cock with the new pressure your clit felt that had you wanting to press your thighs together “go make a mess doll.” There came the softest of the pet names from the night as he kissed you lips letting his hunger and pure desire to be the first guy that has you coming on their cock, take over his mind.

All that was left for you to do was listen to him as your lips let out a gaspy moan “holy fuck!” You swore as your eyes screwed shut letting white specks scattered themselves on the backs of your eyelids like stars in the night sky “breathe through it.” Mark cooed helping you on as the movements of his thumb combined with the thrusts of his cock lulled you through the brunt of your orgasm that had your legs shaking against his hips.

Before Mark could let his orgasm take charge he slid his cock out from your cunt making sure that you had come before that and he replaced the walls of your cunt with his hand “wha-” you grew confused at his abrupt movement “oh baby you have to work for me to come in you.” He grunted watching the warm sticky ropes shoot onto your stomach. 

It made you whimper as you watched almost hypnotized by the sight “next time if you aren’t a fucking brat I might let you get it properly.” The hockey player explained tapping the head of his now soothing cock on your clit letting what was left in him ooze onto your slit “that was.” Your chest heaved as you swore that you had just had the hottest experience of your life.

Mark laughed as he nodded “I know.” He pecked your lips as he reached down to where your panties had fallen to and made the effort to slide them back onto you but not before the hockey player kissed your lips “think it’s time for you to go to bed.” A yawn left your lips as you nodded at his words. 

He finished dressing you and even opted on helping you up the stairs before he left you tucked into your sheets where you nuzzled your head into the soft pillow “maybe you aren’t that bad Hughes.” Mark mumbled feeling his heart grow full at the sight of you blissfully drifting off to sleep. 

But as he let your door softly shut after him it would seem that nothing would actually ever truly change between you both. Because at the end he was always going to be your brothers friend who pissed you off, and well you were always meant to be Luke’s hot sister.

Yet the true test that would come after this was when Mark would have to realize that you weren’t his, no he wasn’t good enough to get that right to have you under his arm at every event on campus. Instead he was destined to watch other guys fill that role one you finally grew into a more confident state. 

“Since when has Rutger had a thing for little Hughes?”

[zykamiliah]

What kind of skeletons do you think are in SY's closet?

so the context for that is the conversation he's having with sqh, when the latter asks him if he sees lbh as "the apple of his eyes" and adored him as his "darling baby and disciple", going on on how sqq had been "out of his mind with grief, his thoughts wandering all over the place", according to th qjp disciples, and how he would call lbh's name and stand at the sword mound and "sigh in sorrow" (lmao if it weren't for the qjp disciples gossiping about it we would NEVER learned of what was going on with sqq post-IAC)

then sqh asks the million dollars question

“Cucumber-bro, can I ask, how did you see Luo Binghe? I remember you were one of his fans, right? You roasted a huge number of the characters I wrote, but even so, you never roasted him. To you, is he a character, or is he a…”

and sqq panics in his mind and thinks that sqh's interrogation was similar in tone to "high-school girls gossiping in the dorms after lights-out":

“Tell me! Do you have a crush on ___?” “N-no, what are you talking about!” “Dodging the question~ Don’t be shy O(∩_∩)O ha ha~” “I hate you, go to bed!” Lightning. Lightning from the nine heavens! Shang Qinghua was in fact innocent. He was honestly asking and was interested in discussing the matter. It was Shen Qingqiu who was overthinking the skeletons in his closet.

sqh was not asking if sqq had gay feelings/a crush on lbh, yet sqq's mind immediately jumped to that assumption lol you don't do that if you're straight lol and it definitely feels like it's a situation he's been before, where he's had to suppress and hide from himself his feelings for men. he even (mentally or otherwise) slaps himself when he's having what he deems "inappropriate" thoughts about binghe and/or his relationship with binghe

He was scaring his disciples, putting on the act of a grieving widow whose husband had just died. Hadn’t it been only a couple of days since he’d last seen that child? No! Bah! Shen Qingqiu mentally slapped himself. Who are you calling a grieving widow?! Whose husband died?! That’s not something you should just say—you’re really getting worse by the day. A negative mindset produces nothing good. You deserve a slap! ch4. conference

and then later in the borderlands when he thinks about what name lbh would have if he'd been born in the demon realm

(...)then Luo Binghe might as well be…Heavenly Pillar-Jun? Ha ha ha ha, fuck! Luo Heavenly Pillar! Ha ha ha ha, how painfully exhilarating! Shen Qingqiu had been laughing for a while when he abruptly slapped himself. The fuck is wrong with you?! Getting carried away, using the Great Master protagonist to come up with a tasteless dirty joke in your head! What’s funny about this? Don’t you get that some people are off-limits for your crass humor?!

he's just...very repressed 🫠

[perdidosbucky-yyo]

Find the joy

Drabble

Pairing: Mechanic!Steve Rogers x Reader (no mention of body type or ethnicity)

Summary: When it rains it pours.

Warnings: angsty angst, serious money problems, implied sick parent and I think that's it, pls let me know if I missed something <3

a/n: i saw this gifset by @meidui and Steve's sad lil face unleashed this 😭 sometimes it's hard not having enough money to live comfortably guys, taking the bus every day, buying the cheapest brand at the grocery store, seeing my mom cry bc she can't quit the job she hates, sigh... it was nice to imagine going through it with Steve :')

wc: 1.1k

When you were younger you always assumed once you met that person who is supposed to love you as you are, always and forever, life's problems would cease to exist, because you found the love of your life.

After your first heartbreak, you realized you were sorely mistaken, you felt stupid for ever believing that fairytale.

Life is cruel and often unfair, whether it was the environment or politics, the world kept on letting you down, your whole life you worked hard for the bare minimum, your mother worked two jobs to pay for college, while watching others live life just a bit easier, or at least not worrying if they could afford groceries that week.

Despite your differences, you were grateful for having a strong mother, she taught you to find joy in the mundane and to never allow your worries to overpower your spirit for too long, because there is joy in the world, the trick is to find it.

For a long time, after countless jerks and disappointments, you thought love was just a glorified infatuation, maybe your career was enough... you'd make it be enough.

But one early morning, on your way to a job interview, your mother's car broke down, but as tears were already staining your freshly steamed blouse, you realized you had the card for a mechanic, the best one in the city according to your sister.

After calling, you expected the Mario bros but instead, the most beautiful men you'd ever seen in your life drove in, while the 6'0'' brunette checked out your car, you felt weirdly comfortable enough to sob about your missed opportunity to the 6'2'' blonde.

By the time you were dying your tears, Steve you'd learned his name was, wouldn't have it, offering to give you a ride to your interview, you were about to kiss him on the spot but instead promised him a date if you got the job.

You didn't get the job, but you still called Steve, he was unlike anyone you'd ever met, loyal, kind borderline bleeding heart, chivalrous, romantic, and a goody two shoes.

Now, after almost 10 years together, and 5 of them married, you never doubted the existence of love again, you felt it with every heartbeat, you saw it in his eyes every day.

But life was still life despite being married to the love of your life.

Cats and dogs poured down as you closed the door behind you, shaking off your pink water boots you cursed yourself when you got mud on the floor.

It was past 7pm so you knew Steve was home, he'd usually be making dinner with Marvin Gaye in the background, but the apartment was quiet, with only the rain to fill the silence.

You found in the kitchen a pizza box waiting to be eaten so now you were sure he was home, and since the apartment only had 3 bedrooms, there could only be one other place he could be.

And there he was, sitting in the rain on the fire escape, shoulders down, as his eyes admired the rain.

Worry weighed down in your bones, and in seconds you were by his side, placing a hand on his back to rub, his broad shoulders tensed as he shook his head.

He'd always welcomed your touch, and now he wouldn't even look at you... "Honey what's wrong?" you whispered, afraid of the answer.

Over the years Steve has been your rock, he was calm in a crisis and often grounded you when you needed it, if Steve was known for one thing, it was that he always gets back up again, and as you watched the defeat underlining his eyes it made your stomach churn seeing him like this.

When you saw a single tear roll down his cheek, nothing mattered anymore and you only wanted to comfort him, sitting on his lap, your arms wrapped around his shoulders, and your hands cupped his face against your chest.

As you kissed his temple you felt his whole body relax "I got fired" he croaked, and then silence.

You don't know for how long you stayed like that, you wouldn't let each other go, maybe hoping the rain would wash away your troubles, or maybe just not ready to talk yet.

His big hands traced your back softly as he sniffed, he could feel your skin was freezing cold, that's when he gripped you and finally carried you inside, not stopping until he reached the bathroom.

He thought about making a nice warm bath but before he could, he remembered the water bill, and now that he was out of a job, you'd have to be even more careful with your expenses.

As he turned on the water, you sensed his unease so you started to slowly get him out of his uniform, peppering kisses as more and more skin was exposed, and as he let out a shuddering breath of relief, you gave him a small smile.

After you finished lathering soap on each other and washing your hair, he was about to step out when you held onto his bicep, "Stay", his eyes told you he wanted to indulge you, and you knew he also needed comfort, but he shook his head.

"just for 2 minutes" you encouraged "I won't shower tomorrow" you giggled but only got a subtle smile in return.

As he towered over you again, his hands rested on your back as he embraced you, but when you sighed into his chest, he released you and stepped out of the shower.

turning off the water and wrapping yourself in a towel, you followed behind, but before you could say a word, he was already in his gray sweatpants and sitting on the edge of the bed with his head between his hands.

Taking his hands in yours, his head now rested against your stomach, "we'll be o-"

"Are you happy?" Steve's voice trembled, his eyes shining with the threat of tears as he looked into yours. As you thought of your answer for a second, your hands cupped his face "Not right now" you muttered honestly, he fiscally recoiled but you gripped his face still, begging him to listen to you.

"It's been hard" you exhale "paying off the car, taking care of my mom", now it was your voice that threatened to break, "We wanted to start trying" you lamented and Steve instinctively kissed the inside of your wrist and nodded in response.

"We have to look for the joy" he whispered your mother's words, you smiled and let yourself be wrapped up in his arms, "I've loved you and our marriage every single moment of it," you said into his ear, "as long as we get through it together, we'll be ok".

"I love you" he promised, as he pulled you under the covers, pressed against him, there was nothing more left to say that night, you would talk more in the morning, and as the rain washed away the day, Steve never let go.

[cackled0g]

The thing about transandrophobia is that I think it's true that transmasculine people face unique forms of transphobia, and that transphobia is often compounded by misogyny. I don't really take issue with the concept of trans people coining a term that roughly means "intersection of transphobia and misogyny experienced primarily by transmasculine people". I know there's some discourse around the coiner of the term, but honestly I dont care about kink discourse because it's weird and creepy to lambast people for their private sex lives. The problem is that every single blog who regularly posts about this sort of thing is run by some 19 year old who has never unpacked their own misogyny, and takes that out on other trans people. I literally just saw a post that was like "the term theyfab is transphobic and has it's roots in transphobic cis communities" and was like hmm, yes, I agree. And a solid half of the comments were like "Yeah! And I bet that the nasty cis men who coined the term transistioned and became evil trans women who hate all trans men!"

Like bros. Can you hear yourselves. Hello??

I don't know, I just feel like we can simultaneously say "trans women are often the victims of very public harrassment campaigns that center around the idea that they are creepy evil men infiltrating women's spaces" and "transmisogyny is a bigotry that has seeped into all aspects of our culture and everyone should be doing their best to unpack their internal biases" and also say "trans men are often belitted and rid of agency, treated like weak little girls when its convenient and evil dangerous men when it isn't" and "misogyny is the primary driving force behind almost all sex-based oppression" without any of those things contradicting each other?

And I'm literally begging people to argue with me here, like tell me why you think this is wrong and stupid or whatever, because I genuinely want to learn. I just don't know why the trans community can't keep from imploding into us vs them every ten seconds.

[roach-works]

As A Queer who’s made it in the trades, do you have any advice for other Queers, visible or not, to breaking into the sector?

i don't have any advice for women other than shoot your shot and be brave, because every workplace ive ever been in SAYS they want more women but oh gee women just don't APPLY, but if you look like a guy you just show up, don't pick fights, and let people assume whatever they assume.

if you've never had factory experience before you can either lie or make up a dad who taught you lots of home improvement projects or focus on the physical aspects of other jobs that left you with plenty of experience in packing, handling, basic tool use, forklift driving, truck loading, etc. if you want an actual trade skill you should look up college and trade school classes, or see if you can join a union and get classes from a union hall, or, again, lie your way in.

like. so many young men in the trades are so so bad at their jobs, it's expected that every now and then a dumbass on too many drugs is hired and he breaks important things and turns up late and falls asleep somewhere weird for awhile before getting fired again. ive watched at least eight of these men cycle through my factory in the last year. the last one ran over a welding machine with a truck before breaking his leg by dropping a beam on himself and then quitting because he wasn't getting paid enough (mood). so like if you show up and are a dumbass that arrives on time, works late, cleans up their area, and doesn't break anything too expensive, and doesn't mysteriously vanish after a month, you have a good shot at keeping your position forever. im genuinely not very good at my job and at least one guy everywhere i work hates me for being a mouthy little fag, but the state of the trades is that if you're not actively on drugs and fire and trying to punch your boss, you probably get to keep your job indefinitely.

my other advice is: if you're trans, and you work in manufacturing, do your best to pass and never admit you're trans. things get bad weird, very fast, and you're surrounded by big guys with power tools. you don't have to pass very well, because the trades are full of a wide variety of the weirdest men in the world and almost none of them have a functional gaydar, but you do have to at minimum not volunteer the information that you're trans.

like. you can if you want. the results will be educational. but no one will be learning anything they wanted to know from this event.

EDIT: start working out though. you NEED to be able to safely lift 30-40lb to start out with and 50-100+ is ideal. if you can't carry around 50 lb for at least a short ways (on and off trucks, on and off tables, on and off dollys) you're risking throwing your back out which is a lifelong bigtime problem. make sure you can lift, bro!

[miserable-individual]

INTROOO

(this is prolly going to be boring cause I've got no clue how to do this)

ALSO I APOLOGISE FOR THE PEOPLE TRYING TO MAYBE SEE MY NORMAL POSTS LIKE POEMS JUST TAG ORIGINAL POEM

About meee -

She/her

INFJ-T

I love B99

Reading books

Writing poetry and just random things tbh

Trilingual?

Been learning music since forever( and carnatic music since 8th grade)

16 (MINOR) (SOME DUDES ARE WEIRD IN DMS BRO BE NORMAL OKAY)

Bi (I think? ITS THE MEN PART IM DOUBTING women are✨✨✨ )

What I post -

Poems

Random reblogs with people ik nowadays

B99 MEMES

that's about it

Causes of crisis (lmao)-

I'm technically from south India cause my family is BUT I've been living in north India since like I was 4 ( hence trilingual) People hating on me irl cause I'm from south India ( bro Whats yo problem)

THE FACT THAT TRIS ACTUALLY DIED AND FOUR LIKES CHRISTINA ( divergent book series)

THE FACT THAT ILL NEVER BELONG ANYWHERE OR FIT IN😭

AND many more reasons

idk what else to add any suggestions?

[iiapple]

do you hate knife as a character or what the fandom/his relationship with suitcase has turned into /genq

both

theres aspects to him i enjoy though usually its paired with another character's interactions with the general juvenile violence in season 1 - early season 2. knife and trophy's whole deal is so ridiculously stupid its laughable but in an enjoyable way where im kinda entertained. it can make for a lot of funny interactions that are just jabs at one another (and trophy getting the short end of the dick which is always funny). he and pickle are fun too even without the romancey shippinf component, they can be at a base just stupid gay bros that chill. while he was caught up in mic's business and did lend a hand in her arc, i do prefer how it is now where again, its just slight jabs and non melodramatic fun (add in soap to grill his ass, soapmic knickle video game sesh and soap is crushing everyone at it like hell)

however its the push of him needing to be this "philosophical deep guy who analyzes everyone correctly and its soooooo interesting how much hes changed" that really irks me. because i honestly dont buy it and just see a man who self pities under the guise of "learning and growing i help others now because ive changed". hes like balloon to me in that sense except hes able to keep it composed and together without becoming outwardly desperate. its honestly irritating how much of an involvement he has now and again, how much of a push there is to him being in the top 2 after "all his growth". i just dont give a fuck. why should i give a fuck about a man who burnt and harassed and bullied and tortured a woman in season 1 for fun, and had others try to join in on it too? and the GALL of him to even apologize to marshmallow for it too LOOOOOL... "ohhhh poor me im sorry marshmallow for hurting you before" pussy couldnt even state what he did to her, weak ass self fellating apology im SO glad marsh didnt accept it and was NOT kind about it in front of him. she shouldve start throwing rocks at him. all this "change and teaching" i will never forgive that man for what he did to women

not to mention, how practically of little to no help he was towards suitcase who, was dealing with bigger issues than he was as if hes fuckin get it. such bullshit advice and "lessons" hed tell her when its like dude, shut the hell up!!! youre saying the dumbest shit and still pinning it all against her somehow when shes been tossed around her supposed alliance because those 3 idiots couldnt get shit together for once. that AND her psychosis coming onto the foreground of it all of course shes not gonna talk about it further because you keep pushing in shit that she has no fault in, as if shedve trust you with that. its sweet that theyre working now against everything now but god lol, i just dont buy their newfound ammends and friendship of sort personally

what the fandom has done is REALLY hyopcritical. now im not gonna say its every single person who does this, nor am i a fan of monolith-ing (?) a group of people because of a common pattern, but its just really REALLY funny seeing people going after pairings like lairy or whatever saying its "proship" while shipping a man who has a history of violence on women with a psychotic woman who he has offered piss poor assistance to in the name of his own weird beliefs of changing and helping. idgaf for discourse around a bunch of pixels over trivial shit that really isnt THAT big of an issue (lairy discourse), especially because well, theyre wrong as fuck, but how are people gonna say one thing then turn around and do The Same Shit under another flavour. knifecase is such a kick in the balls to women and another example of how fandom greatly prefers men over women WHATEVER the situation is. theyll fawn over a man whos done shit and think "yeah hes my poor onglydoople poop. only HE suffers in this work of media" while greatly ignoring the issues the women in the same piece of work deal with by writing (misogyny) and circumstances (misogyny again). this world is founded immensely on misogyny and we're never getting the fuck out of it and while yeah im ranting about object character violence being sexist/misogynistic, you gotta get that its all a repeated pattern of these behaviours these mentalities this culture. you can argue one thing about writers intentions and beliefs, we dont know these people well enough to point fingers and label. however, how are YOU digesting it? shitting it out? what is your overall take and without using gay fandom buzzwords and misogynist thinking describe the women in the show (rhetorical)

[sabsturned]

ABOUT ME!! 🎀

NAME: hi!! my name is sabrina, but my close friends call me sab, and you’re all my close friends 🩷🩷

AGE: i’m eighteen years old and i still don’t know how to drive a car

GENDER: i’m a female and i use she/her pronouns :)

BIRTHDAY: june 24th 2006 (and i’m a cancer!)

🎀 i also love pink and bows as you can tell!! 🎀

HOBBIES!! 🎀

WRITING: i really enjoy writing and have ever since i was young. when we wrote essays in ela class i went all out because i just loved shit like that

CROCHETING: i first self-taught myself how to crochet when i was like seven or eight, and started doing it again when i was ten. now i crochet gifts for my friends birthdays, for christmas, and i also make myself clothes a lot

VOLLEYBALL: volleyball was just always my go-to sport and i still love it now. i love going to the beach and playing beach volleyball

NAILS: i also really enjoy doing gel and acrylic nails on people. obviously getting your nails done is kind of expensive, so i just learned how to do it myself and now i do my own nails and my friends nails for free. i also do nail services for random people and that’s where most of my money comes from.

SINGING: don’t really know if it counts as a hobby but i absolutely love love love singing. i’m constantly singing around the house. i also did musical theatre in high school and i was in drama club in middle school. my favorite role i played was regina george when i was 15. i also just have a passion for theatre and musicals.

MUSIC TASTE!! 🎀

i have very generic white girl music taste, so it’s not really anything special lol

TOP ARTISTS (NOT IN ORDER): taylor swift, olivia rodrigo, kesha, melanie martinez, billie eilish, ariana grande, madison beer, chappell roan, doja cat, megan thee stallion, rihanna, katy perry, macklemore

TOP SONGS RIGHT NOW (IN ORDER)

1. joyride - kesha

2. femininomenom - chappell roan

3. you need to calm down - taylor swift

4. hope ur ok - olivia rodrigo

5. all american bitch - olivia rodrigo

CONCERTS I’VE BEEN TO: kesha, billie eilish, olivia rodrigo, melanie martinez, taylor swift

i absolutely love concerts. i think they are so fun and i enjoy them sooo much.

STUFF I WATCH!! 🎀

FAV SHOWS: grey’s anatomy, victorious, sam and cat, icarly, stranger things, creeped out, jessie, heart stopper, never have i ever, sofia the first (hey don’t judge)

FAV MOVIES: fear street part one, fear street part two, jumanji, jumanji : the next level, legally blonde, ten things i hate about you, inside out two, mean girls (2024), sleepover

FAV YOUTUBERS: sturniolo triplets, brittany broski, quenlin blackwell, larray, kamryn cain (check her out she’s so underrated), flamingo, avascreams, caseoh

give me show and movie recs!! i always need them

QUESTIONS ABOUT THE STURNIOLO’S!! 🎀

WHEN DID YOU FIRST START WATCHING THE TRIPLETS: late 2022!

ARE YOU A NICK, MATT, OR CHRIS GIRL: chris girl all the way no doubt about it

FAVORITE YOUTUBE VIDEO: we filmed this video as bros….

FAVORITE CHALLENGE: disgusting food roulette *matt almost throws up*

FAVORITE VLOG: nick gets his wisdom teeth removed!!

FAVORITE FRIENDSHIP: madison 🩷🩷

FAVORITE MERCH/BRAND: space camp

WHAT WAS THE FIRST VIDEO YOU SAW: sturniolo zombie apocalypse survival guide

HAVE YOU EVER MET THEM: nope, and i don’t plan to or rlly want to because i feel like i would be way too awkward 😭😭

WHY DO YOU LIKE THE TRIPLETS: a lot of it is their humor and the fact that they make me laugh more than literally anybody in this entire world, but i also just love watching them live life and hang out with their friends. i find joy in seeing other people happy, and seeing them live happily like this makes me happier than ever. i love vlogs and watching them have fun. their bond together is also unmatched. they love each other so much and it’s so clear to see that, and i just love it. i also just feel so safe when i watch them. i feel like i would trust them with my life. they’re the only grown men that don’t absolutely terrify me 🩷

thanks for reading!! with love, sabrina 🤍🎀

(working on a fic rn!! please leave requests and lmk if the “leave requests” box doesn’t show up in my description)

[sporco-filth]

when I was a teen myself, I really liked the stereotypical teenage boy (messy, lazy rude etc) but now I'm older, they're literally kids and that of course makes it weird and icky (to put it mildly) But luckily, what's even better is adult men who still act like teenagers:

still stays up all night playing video games

sleeps in till noon

has a palate that hasn't developed past sugar and junk food

(but lacks the metabolism to burn it off)

culinary skills are limited to microwaving frozen food and boiling water for instant noodles

fridge has two packets of ketchup, a can of energy drink and beer

hasn't drunk water in 5 years

will eat 20 burgers if you dare him

doesn't keep them down though

retells the story in all its gory detail every chance he can

hates doing chores

eats over the sink to avoid doing the dishes

or because he's used all the dishes already

*sniff* "these undies are all right for another wear"

doesn't know how to iron; doesn't even know what an iron is

room is a pigsty, clothes and trash everywhere

if you asked him when he last changed his sheets, you'd be met with a blank stare

has never touched a vacuum cleaner

can't be bothered showering half the time and the other half of the time he forgets to

leaves the toilet seat up

gets lazy with his aim

watches too much porn

loves showing off how loud he can belch

challenges his bros to burping contests

will just burp mid sentence and not say excuse me

farting to annoy people around him and laughing when they complain about the smell

pissing contests

drinking and partying hard and feeling dead the next morning, so he just lies in bed all day

I could go on but that'll do for now. but yeah the idea of a guy who's now an adult so has got the freedom to be a slob, but has no awareness that he should behave better because he never learned any responsibility. Since he doesn't have to deal with parents nagging he can just does what he wants

[rarepears]

Ok, usually i really like a close shen twins relationship, but i'm obsessed with the Shen twins but they hate each other au. Like, damn, isn't it a kick to the balls to Shen Jiu that the useless a brother he threw away managed to get a much better life than him? Like, yes, he's a peak lord and all that jass but bro is straight up miserable, meanwhile that no good brother of his married into the prime minister's family, is guaranteed to be the prime minister himself once his father in-law retires, has most of the imperial palace wrapped around his fingers, the crown prince also being not so subtley in love with him and even if all of that blows over he still has a demon prince being head over heels in love with him, like, damn, lil bro really did put that pretty face and better personality to use

Also, pour one out for Shen Yuan's wife, that woman will never have to worry about her husband leaving her for another woman but she'll have to worry about him being bridenapped by some demon prince or becoming the Crown Prince's lover without his own knowledge

(Idk why but i just can't get out of my head the scene of Shen Jiu calling his brother whore like some petty teenaged girl and Shen Yuan just being like, you wish you were a whore like me)

Oh the irony that Shen Jiu absolutely LOATHES men - the touch of men, the proximity to other men, just everything about men. And then there's this twin who's happily surrounding himself with the touches of other men, hugging and being all affectionate with All The Stinky Dirty Nobleborn Sons just like Qiu

In the same breath that Shen Jiu hates Shen Yuan, in the same vein that makes Shen Jiu absolutely jealous that Shen Yuan didn't suffer the same way - that Shen Yuan abandoned his twin to such a grotesques fate as slave to the Qiu family - he's also feeling... bitterly protective, wanting to warn Shen Yuan away from all these suitors who only want one thing and that's to use and abuse Shen Yuan.

(Part of him also wants Shen Yuan to learn the hard way why men can't be trusted.)

Sibling relationships are really complicated, okay!?

---

Shen Yuan's wife doesn't realize the difference between proper love between married couples and sibling affection. She doesn't realize (until a while later) that Shen Yuan is pampering her like a younger sister, not like a beloved wife. And that he's not bedding her because he doesn't want to risk getting her pregnant too young but because he actually doesn't feel such desires towards her...

But that's a story for another day.

[More in #shen yuan and shen jiu: a brotherly relationship of hatred and animosity AU]

[leprosycock]

I've been wondering! If you dont mind me asking, which of the cults related to which character in the ttwky quiz, and why? Also honestlu any explanation of any of the choices in the quiz would be great, I love hearing and learning about these guys

:D yes!! yes of course!!!

- “pick a cult that interests you the most”

jonestown and the ant hill kids were related to jay because they were both directed and controlled by charismatic but pathetic men who presented themselves as relatable and kind and generous benefactors and they used their perversion of religion and social justice to manipulate and control the people they claimed to love. heaven’s gate and the manson family were related to eva because they were knotted into rat kings through togetherness, common ideas, and a sense of faith and community. a lot of this also involved sexual exploration and discovery of the self and a greater purpose. the children of god and the true russian orthodox church are related to annie because of several self-imposed rules relating to pleasure, indulgence, and family ties. they also heavily toy with ideas of self-harm as a kind of cleansing mechanism and are ridiculously isolated, closing themselves off to ideas and living spaces that keep them safe and comfortable. they have a lot of strange ideas about sex and the body that are impossible for them to let go of because they’re so intrinsically tied to who they are as people.

- “choose the name of a mel bochner painting”

mel bochner is a typographist and his statements are the art itself, so these phrases were just meant to apply to the boys themselves. ‘do i have to draw you a picture?’ and ‘meathead’ were annie because the former is a childish expression of frustration, anger, exhaustion, and rules imposed by small-minded people who mean to control the art world; the latter is a manifestation about self-loathing and hating traits reflected back on oneself. ‘i don’t want to think about it’ and ‘it goes without saying / in other words / talk is cheap’ are jay for somewhat obvious reasons—they’re all avoidance tactics and a reservation from elaboration. a very strict want and need to ignore the worst of his trauma and never unpack it. don’t talk to him. he hates it. eva gets ‘kick against the pricks (blah… blah… blah)’ and ‘money/obscene’ because he fancies himself as a punk and a drag on society for who he is and how he performs and he loves to wallow in that and every bit of attention he can get. he wants to be famous and he wants to be good and he wants to be loved and he wants to be popular and he wants to be a subject of ridicule and hatred because it fuels him and keeps him alive.

- “choose an adult swim show”

jay’s are moral orel and venture bros for. obvious reasons. but just in case you’re unaware they both focus on an emotionally devastated abusive father whose traumatic childhood still affects him and he extends that to not only the people in his life, but his sons as well. annie gets space ghost and aqua teen because they’re both highly surreal and write extremely insensitive jokes and are cheap, cobbled-together shows that present strange characters in strange settings, but are inherently and devastatingly human. eva gets smiling friends and superjail because they’re loud, colorful, attention-grabbing, shrewd, edgy, and tons of fucking fun.

- “what feels good?”

jay (fatherhood):

annie (too-grown-up child):

eva (rotting corpse of a child inside an adult):

- “choose something that flies”

annie is an airplane and a lost balloon. airplane = wanting to escape, balloon = bright fresh young thing that will forever be lost. jay is a mosquito and a jumping cactus because they’re both annoying and dangerous things that plague arizona. eva is a canary and a bat because he’s a free spirit who still longs for companionship and will bite things because it’s just in his nature.

- “choose something gross”

these were all just things that i think each boy hates more than anything else either due to trauma or sensory issues. annie = coleslaw + puddle of pee, jay = the smell of metal on your hands + sticky stain on the counter, eva = wet food in the sink + spiders

- “pick some hentai to read”

annie = Kasetsu Toilet Sanchoume/Brocon!: i won’t explain this one because it contains spoilers

jay = Pet Shop [yaoi]/AS GOD SAYS: both are stories about older people abusing their power and influence in order to attract compliant young boys

eva = Best Friend *woof*/Super-market sweets time!!: you get no points for guessing what the first one is about. the second one is about lolis dressing up as idols and invading a supermarket to seduce older men just looking to buy groceries, which is what he imagines his dynamic with jay to be

- “pick a popular early 00s character”

annie is domo-kun and gloomy bear just because he’s boyish and edgy and emo. jay is happy bunny and spongebob because he is permanently stuck in an era that has long since passed him by and he wants to be loved and clung to. eva is gir and hello kitty because he’s bright and loud and has a ton of different outfits. this one really didn’t have a lot going for it i just kind of pulled it out of my ass

- “choose a place that’s overgrown”

annie is a local park and the woods nearby. they’re childhood spaces that are often not a lot of fun and typically contain a lot of animal and insect life and are rife with poison. jay is the backyard and the basement. a backyard because it’s a staple of a once-lived-in house that is now devastated and gnarled and all evidence of childhood is condemned, and a basement because they’re a staple of new england homes and they’re often dark, damp, unloved, and terrifying. eva is a condemned gas station covered in busted neon lights and old advertisements as well as a playground that is often retreaded by brave kids and arrogant teens looking to start problems.

i’m not going over the “choose a song” one because it’s sooo cringe and i regret putting it in. no one likes that question

but that’s pretty much it!! <333 i hope you found it enlightening 🙂‍↕️

[creepykuroneko]

Dear white people,

I am begging you to please learn the difference between sympathy, empathy, and how you do not need both to help other people.

I am saying this as a brown, genderqueer, autistic, person who has dealt with all different types of bigotry over my life time.

The best way I've ever seen sympathy and empathy explained in an oversimplified form is as follows:

Sympathy, "that sucks bro"

Empathy, "I feel you bro"

You do not need to feel bad for someone in order to help them. Simply recognizing they are in a bad situation and in need of help is more than enough.

I often see white people shit on brown and black communities for supposedly being more homophobic and transphobic than white communities are. Yet ask any queer person of color and they will tell you they would rather hang out with cishet people of their same race than hang out in the white LGBT+ community because of the racism they experience within the white queer spaces.

No I'm not a fan of Christianity and I think America would be better if people were less religious but I do recognize that in America black churches do more for the black community then other Institutes do. I have known more black queer people who were facing homelessness and were able to get help from their church versus any government lead organization or white focused queer spaces. Good luck explaining this to White LGBT+ people though. They refuse to acknowledge not only the problems within their own community, but how other communities outside of theirs take care of each other while yes still being problematic.

When the script is flipped though, when it's a white woman who is very blatantly bigoted and hateful, who suddenly finds herself and in dire need of help, suddenly white people are willing to put their politics aside to help people. I've noticed when women of colors speak up about how they do not feel bad for a former Trump supporter who is now living in her car suddenly every single white person is a feminist. You'll notice that often times the people who say they do not feel bad for said white woman never actually say she deserves her situation. Other people fill in the gaps that they believe are missing. Suddenly It's what about helping people? What if it was you? We need to lift each other up.

For those of you who lack reading comprehension I do NOT believe anybody should be homeless, starving, or without basic necessities.

I simply believe you do not have to feel bad for someone to help them.

People like to joke about how people who live in red States deserve what they get for living in a red state. What about the people who were born in that situation and do not have the means to leave? Not to mention the fact that it is a white centric colonizer point of view to have the mentality of " I'll just move away and gentrify some other neighborhood rather than fix the problems in my community".

I just find it awfully convenient that anytime it's a bigoted white woman who is in dire straits, suddenly everyone can put their politics aside to help her. When it is literally anybody else, it's crickets chirping in the room.

I have seen more men of color put themselves in a potentially dangerous situation to see if a white woman who is crying needs help then I have seen white women reach out to men of color and ask if they need help. So "why" is it that the group I see all around me be more compassionate towards other human beings gets scrutinized for supposedly not being more empathetic?

Everyone can help make the world a better place. Yes everyone deserves access to food, clean water, shelter, and medicine. Even awful people. It does not mean that you have to love thy neighbor though. I can recognize that this bitch means me harm and still believe she has every right to apply for food stamps. Because guess what? When one person falls through the cracks, the crack gets bigger and swallows us all up. It does not mean that I have to feel bad for her though. And quite frankly, asking people of color to feel bad for someone who actively means them harm is disgusting.

[ilions-end]

RHESUS PIECES THOUGHTS now that i've finished it!

i've learned that the attribution to euripides is VERY shaky, and even the people who're certain it IS euripides' are like "well obviously it must have been written when he was very young and bad at writing plays". haa

the whole play is just... a little off. occasionally absurd. all the characters are weirdly oppositional to each other for no good reason. nobody's likeable, but nobody's truly awful. sure the plot is "the night raid" as we know it from the iliad (with a bonus prophecy, and more lore about rhesus). it hits the story beats but there are no extra layers to it. the theme is unclear, it's just surface and no depth. idk i'm still trying to figure out if there's something i haven't picked up in it

it establishes its place in the larger narrative pretty thoroughly: the trojans are extra cocky because achilles is refusing to fight, and also they're still SUPER salty about the palladium heist, so odysseus is their most hated enemy. they keep fantasizing about all the gory ways they want to kill odysseus when they get a chance.

my heart BROKE when i realized that dolon's meeting with odysseus and diomedes all happens offstage! sure i can appreciate the shock of the reveal -- dolon sneaking off going "hehe off i go to spy on the greeks and murder some of their leaders" and then a little later diomedes comes onstage carrying dolon's bloody wolfpelt. there's elegance in that. but aw man.

SPEAKING OF THE WOLF DISGUISE, i really liked how the description of dolon donning it was so reminiscent of a pre-aristeia arming scene! the detail of what piece goes on which limb, etc. only it's a. a fursuit. gotta love it

hector's very rude and blustery all the time! it's strange seeing him portrayed that way, especially when it's never acknowledged by anyone ever. like when a herdsman comes up to him, hector tells him off for even speaking to him, and then when the herdsman assures him he's there to report seeing two shady characters sneaking towards camp (UH OH), hector's like "oh i see! well you have to understand i treated you the way i did because peasants are all very stupid" and the guy is like "haha yeah we are!"

for some reason i lost it at hector's line "dolon by name and dolon by nature". i KNOW it's untranslatable because dolon means trick, but now i want to start saying that to people with regular names. "oh just like i thought. timmy by name and timmy by nature..."

my bad sense of humour continued when i learned one of the arguments the play isn't really by euripides is that it shows "a lack of interest in women". i mean yeah, between aeneas telling hector not to fight achilles because achilles is "too hot" now (like i know you're happily married bro, but that emo buff-ass blonde... phew. oh man.), AND diomedes' obsession with the thought of hector in bed. i mean.

also the trojans always assuming that where odysseus is, diomedes is close by. deemed inseparable by the enemy

diomedes is adorably jumpy during the raid. he admits getting really scared by the creak of a leather harness, aw. buddy you're stealing horses, i'm sorry but there WILL be some horse-related noises

also ATHENA'S SO NAUGHTY OMG. that scene where she pretends to be aphrodite to distract paris ("heeey baby everything's fine you didn't hear a thing go back to bed") plays like comedy

ALSO comedy is when odysseus and diomedes are discovered after they've murdered rhesus and his men, and odysseus accuses the guys apprehending THEM to be the murderers?? "oh my GOD you aren't trojans at all, are you?!!! i bet you're greek spies who snuck in here and KILLED king rhesus!!!" odysseus you mad bastard

i feel like i'm overselling the odysseus and diomedes scenes because they don't factor in at all in the majority of the play, but that's where all the action is

the sole survivor of rhesus' men is CONVINCED hector invited and killed them just to steal the horses himself, and they have a fight about it WHILE HECTOR IS TRYING TO STOP THIS GUY FROM BLEEDING OUT. the insanity of hector finally going "GUARDS, SEIZE THIS MAN! and put him in my house and treat his wounds and feed him and take really really good care of him please". it just really stuck with me. banished to the comfy chair.

but like. there's no resolution to that. there's no resolution to anything. rhesus' mother (a muse) shows up and mourns, and she'll... resurrect rhesus but that means he'll have to live all eternity alone in a cave??? what

also rhesus' mom says she knows odysseus will be suitably punished for the night raid later on. and idk, will he?? i feel like these myths are usually very clear on "[transgression A] earns [divine punishment B]". like ma'am i'm not so sure the polytropos man ever gets punished for this particular one actually

in summary it's a weird play. i reread iliad 10 right before just to contrast and they're both weird in distinctly different ways. it's suitable that a euripides play that was probably not written by euripides was based on an iliad section that might not historically have belonged in the iliad