you ever get super into a new fandom but you're afraid to make/share any fanart/fanfiction/whatever bc
the fandom is intimidating
you don't know every single possible aspect of the lore or the gameplay or whatever, but everyone else seems to, so you don't want to make mistakes or make someone unintentionally OOC
you can't seem to make anything you don't cringe at
idk if it's been explored yet how fyodor's ability opens up insane fyolai dynamics like i'm pretty sure fyolai shippers gotta be ready to have prime quality angst content for breakfast lunch and dinner but now you get a full on five star seven course meal 24/7, 365, made of bernadette animatics and tears of blood
like what do you MEAN his ability is to take over the person who finally kills him, stripping them of their will and freedom in the most visceral way possible, until they become his everything? what do you mean that knowingly killing him now would be, perhaps, the ultimate act of going against human instinct to so thoroughly give yourself and everything you are up to this person who can now use you in such a complete sense of the word?
shut UP and don't talk to me about the possibility of nikolai finding out or knowing about his ability and still wanting to bury a dagger into fyodor's heart - except maybe not, because he remembers the burst of the helicopter and tower, he remembers the still-warm limp hand clutched in his own, he wonders if that agony was humanity, there goes the one person, the one person-
and fyodor, would he hesitate at all? what's one more person after all these years of living on stolen time? or would he bleed at nikolai's hand and wonder even for a second if maybe it's time to let it all end, that his suit and hat and cards wouldn't suit fyodor anyway, that maybe those mismatched eyes might not be a sacrifice he's willing to pay
imagine the sheer devotion it would take to look him in the eye and kill him, killing yourself, the ultimate lovers' suicide really, dazai should be jealous, because here is a bond that can rival the stars, like a single free dove reviving a demon from the pits of hell, carrying him on white wings, because he is the only person who ever understood
imagine fyodor opening his eyes in that offered body and looking at his own hands and knowing they will never be clasped so happily again, no one to look at him without fear, no one bold or deranged or maybe just lovely enough to offer him a friendship bracelet with one hand and stab him with another
do you think nikolai would kill him, die for him, die with him, free himself from the world by becoming a vessel for a hell he loved. do you think fyodor would even care.
Got to stolen century in my relisten and started tearing up at work because of magnus carving the duck. Just me in the back room, crying over the dish sink for normal reasons.
I miss people distinguishing between AMVs, PMVs, and animatics. especially the latter two. The amount of times I've gone looking for animatics only for PMVs to pop up is incredible
So bnha manga is over. BNHA was huge part of me over the years. So many read fanfics, so many AUs created. It greatly influenced my artstyle as Izuku was my comfort character to draw for so long. But interests pass and so was my obsession with bnha. Still, my bnha x blue beetle crossover was the most completed AU i ever had. Too bad i have never gotten around doing anything more for it. But i started making my first animatic. never finished it, as you can see (partly bc of my poor time and effort management. also i had no idea what i was doing and learning all the programs on the go).
I dont want to loose it tho, so im sharing what i made then as a 21 sec homage to bnha. thanks!
In the 2 weeks since I found the full (currently available) discography of epic: the musical, I have probably listened to the whole thing start to finish maybe 5-7 times and know 50% of the song's lyrics word for word
So. I think I finally understand how people can obsess and form fandoms over musicals now
i find it a bit annoying when youtube tries to be like "oh hey, you've been watching for a while, wanna take a break?" and im like "WELL YEAH IT MIGHT BE GOOD FOR MY HEALTH, BUT I WANNA GO APESHIT WATCHING ANIMATICS!!!"