#i will do other polls with some others characters later
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LGBTQ+ Disabled Characters Showdown Round 4, Wave 2, Poll 5
A character being totally canon LGBTQ+ and disabled was not required to be in this competition. Please check qualifications and propaganda before asking why a character is included.
Check out the other polls in this wave and round here.
Ballister Blackheart-Nimona (Novel)
Qualifications:
Heās gay and an amputee
Propaganda:
Heās a lot more evil and also more established on what heās doing than the movie. I think heās neat, he does a lot more scheming and plotting and general shenanigans.
Suletta Mercury-Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury
Qualifications:
While this is something which only became a point in the last episode, in the finale of the show, following the big action parts, Suletta was shown to need mobility aids three years afterwards. Also in this timeskip, it is revealed that she has since gotten married to Miorine, who is another woman. Also I'm not autistic or trans but I have seen many people headcanoning her as both.
Canonically disabled by data storm infection, uses crutches on screen. Is married to her wife.
Canonically LGBTQ, as she is shown to love and later marry Miorine Rembran, a girl. Canonically disabled, as in the last episode, the Permet leads her to ālose control of her bodyā and even in the epilogue 3 years later, she is still using crutches and has not been able to get her body to the way it used to be before.
Suletta Mercury pushed herself to the limits of human survival at the end of the show, but survived. She's disabled and still uses crutches in the 3-year time skip. Her wife loves her and Suletta is still pursuing her dreams of creating a school.
Spoilers probably for the series. She is canonically engaged, later married to a woman, Miorine Rembran, and at the end of the series is shown to be physically disabled, with her both speaking on her physical therapy and her crutches being in several shots. Also she is written in a way that can be read as neurodivergent.
Partially paralyzed
Propaganda:
I love this character so much and I need everybody to as well. First of all, to get the biggest notes out of the way to establish why she qualifies (with major spoilers for episode 24), Suletta, after a three years timeskip, is shown to need crutches to get around a lot of the time. This fact is ultimately treated as an accomplishment on her part (/is never treated as a bad thing, just because I like clarifying this when it comes to any form of rep), since it took her some time to get to the point where she could move around at all. Also in this timeskip, the girl Suletta has been engaged to throughout most of the series, Miorine, has since become her wife, shown largely by the two of them having matching rings and Suletta's relatives being referred to as Miorine's in-laws. This makes Suletta the very first sapphic protagonist in Gundam. I've also seen headcanons or her such as her being autistic or transfem get popular. Getting to what makes me love her, Suletta, early on, is very easily intimidated in a lot of regards, largely because this is her first time actually being around anybody her age, but she's always been trying her best! She generally tries very hard to be positive and cares about those around her very much but can easily question her worth and is sometimes deterred. She is very willing to stand up and fight (usually in a literal way because she has won many mobile suit duels) when it most matters, a trait which remained consistent throughout the series, whether it's in regards to her role as a rescue piolet in the Cradle Planet short story, the drive which ultimately caused her to win the duel which initially got her engaged to Miorine in her first in-series appearance or the finale of the whole show. Suletta is somebody who has gone through a lot of hurt (especially in the series. Eps 17 and 18 put this girl through the wringer), and ultimately wasn't really raised to have too much autonomy. But despite everything, she keeps going. She's a very strong person who cares about those around her and I love her for it.
She is just the most joyful person ever who loves her wife.
Above, and: Vote for the newlyweds!
Everything above applies here. Suletta is shown to still not fully able to walk well without her crutches in the shot we get of her walking in the finale, her crutches are explicitly shown in several shots, and she openly talks about how her physical therapy is going to her, now wife, Miorine. On the topic of her and Miorine, they were engaged as of episode 1 with an iconic line from Miorine of "I guess Mercury is rather conservative. That sort of thing is commonplace here." in response to Suletta responding that she was a woman as a rebuttal about being Miorine's fiancƩe. Lots happens, and it's not uncommon to see either one of them yearning for each other, with a genuinely well written romance that leads to a happy ending with them explicitly married.
In the final battle of the series, Suletta highly exerts herself piloting a dangerous Gundam and significantly damages her body to save her family and fiancƩe. It's described that she was left mostly paralyzed from the neurological overload. Three years later, she still has significant scarring and needs to use crutches as a mobility aid, and talks about how her dexterity is "recovering." This means she was also disabled during her wedding with her wife, and they're shown with matching wedding bands as they discuss her health.
Anything Else?:
There's a whole lot more in terms of their relationship, and i've basically given a seriously lightened, budget sparksnotes version of it. Also, Suletta became disabled from a crazy battle for the finale, where she unleashed a giant rainbow data storm with a rainbow glowing Gundam. (Submitter 4)
The qualifications and propaganda paragraphs correspond, @insertbrowsinghere is the first submitter.
#polls#poll#disability#disabled characters#lgbtq#lgbtq characters#id in alt text#lgbtq dcs round 4#lgbtq dcs r4 wave 2#ballister blackheart#nimona book#nimona#suletta mercury#mobile suit gundam the witch from mercury#mobile suit gundam
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#el cid#polls#favourite characters#El Cid (2020)#rodrigo dĆaz de vivar#ruy#urraca de zamora#fernando i de leĆ³n#sancha de leĆ³n#doƱa jimena#jimena dĆaz#alfonso vi de leĆ³n#garcĆa ii de galicia#sancho ii de castilla#elvira de toro#ramiro i de aragĆ³n#i realized this poll ended up being mainly about the leonese royal family but anyways#i will do other polls with some others characters later#i have included here ramiro i of aragon too because he was ferdinand i of leon's bastard brother#ramiro i and ferdinand i's father was sancho iii of pamplona and garcia iii of pamplona was their brother too#el cid polls
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so... very important question. In Better Halves, are Danny and Tim kisses going to become a lot more common now that they've had their first real one? Please, for the love of god, don't make them wait 10 more chapters.
lovingly, an anon that needs to see them fuck nasty
Okay fair question! Yes, kisses will be (relatively) more common now, but I don't count this as their first 'real' kiss- although arguably it should be- the first real kiss is somewhere in chapter 34? Ish. More or less around there.
Look. I said slow burn and I goddamn MEANT it. it's gonna be nearly 200k before they Approach the idea of it not being fake anymore (despite the fact that it never really was to begin with). they're. complete unmitigated disasters.
and as for them fucking nasty (with understanding that was likely meant to be somewhat sarcastic). Currently the plan is to keep it at a teen rating. But. obviously aspects of this have gotten away from me in the past. Keep an eye on the rating because. Idk there are gonna be moments and that's all I'll say. (if i write them, i'll change the rating as I do, so hopefully with a good few chapters before hand. or maybe I'll post an alt version with the ma content? idk we shall cross the bridge when we arrive to it)
For your reference though, here's how many kisses are in each chapter i have completely written (this may depress you) (also below a read more for the spoilers aspect of it all.)
chapter 20- 1 kiss (on cheek)
21- 0 kisses
22- 0 kisses
23- 0 kisses
24- 0 kisses (somehow oh my GOD)
25- 1 kiss (on lips)
26- 1 kiss (on lips) (also the first Proper kiss since chapter 19. imo)
27- 2 kisses (1 on forehead, 1 on lips)
28- 0 kisses
29- 0 kisses
30- 0 kisses
do not let the amount of 0's grieve you, for most of those the boys aren't even in the same state (or country) so. not chapter 24 tho that's fucking miserable yearning i won't lie
#aster spreekt#better halves (and other such falsehoods)#answered#anonymous#dead tired ship#dp x dc#i'll probably post a poll about what you guys want if i do end up writing some. spicy scenes#just cause i did intend for it to be teen initially? but bros there is simply so much tension#also the potential for character exploration? delicious#idk it deffo wouldn't be till later chapter just because. idk rn they're both in high school it feels weird to me#better halves spoilers#i really think some smut in later chapters would pack some gut punch angst potential no i will NOT elaborate#:)#ily guys
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in MDZS the novel, the innkeeper in Yunping mentions that people are too scared to go petition Yunmeng Jiang for help because someone once walked in on Sect Leader Jiang whipping a guy in the main hall, supposedly because the guy was a demonic cultivator.
#mdzs#jiang cheng#wei wuxian#jc apologism#anyways as you can hopefully tell by now this is a jc stan blog.#so as a stan i will do my rightful stan duty and insist that my fave did nothing wrong#so. onwards. the ājiang cheng tortures demonic cultivatorsā claim is interesting on several levels#because we don't see it happen onscreen. and because thematically mdzs is a book about the unreliability of rumors#especially when said rumors conform to your preexisting understanding of someone. or what you want to hear about someone#it would have been so easy for mxtx to include a scene where jc tortures a demonic cultivator onscreen. i would love to read it too#but that doesnt happen. when jc actually corners wwx he just shoves a dog in his face and bullies him emotionally#smh jc get your shit together!! what is this lame ass display?? not living up to your reputation here loser#anyways. tbh i consider two things separately: 1. mxtx's intentions. and 2. what the text itself implies#for 1. i am legitimately unsure of what to think. mxtx relies on rumors/empathy/etc to give us info about side characters#in part because she's constrained herself to writing from wwx's perspective and has no other easy way of getting the info to us#does she intend for us to question the rumors? or are we supposed to take them as fact because of the narration limits described?#2. what the text itself implies is not necessarily the same as what mxtx intends.#for me mdzs is in part a story about the unreliability of rumors and reputation etc etc. other meta writers than i have explained it better#so for the work to go āall the rumors about wwx were exaggerated/manipulated/not 100% correct.ā#ābut the rumors about everyone else are 100% true!!!!!ā#is peak stupidity. and shit-tier writing#and i actually like mdzs so i would like to believe the writer is more intelligent than that#thus. i conclude in part due to this emotional necessity of mine that there must have been something more going on#anyways. i have similar opinions about the ādid jiggy kill rusongā business but that's a post for later#ill probably put my jc torture opinions in their own post some day#yanyan polls
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me after editing the aau prologue for the bajillionth time
#First chapter I changed the opening bc I always thought it felt off/abrupt and wanted to have it be prince pov from the start#I wanna get in his head more ok sue me#Beyond that tho it was just some wording edits#Specifically with the internal dialogue moments I helped them flow more/feel more like thoughts#Also mj gets a bit more of their usual edge/pessimism bc the prologue they always felt a bit too āĆ³wĆ² sad poor smol beanā or whatever#Thatās it tho chapter 4 I didnāt change bc itās peak#Did add some teases to later things tho like snatch senses mjs soul at the end of his chap but doesnāt realize it#Or like I added the Not Now running thing in the earlier chapters bc it was more of a chapter 4 thing so I wanted 2 set it up more so boom#I think thatās all the notable edits ig like I said just description additions the only actual new thing is the opener for chap 1 š#Also also I got to include a hc that I have that I neglected to do before but I hc a!prince used plural internal dialogue#Because lol we love dramatic irony in this house#Grace post#this reminds me tho one of these days I should look through heart strings chapter one to look for editing things#Bc I think I did that recently but I donāt remember it much tho#Mostly just when the Hat stuff starts that was the parts I never directly rewrote I just edited them so they feel out of place in my brain#Also Iād wanna edit her dialogue bc it *was* in character (after rereading her diaryās to confirm) but I wanna have her be a bit more snark#Hat is Hard bc i Need the balance of cute little kid and also smug little shit (affectionate) like she is a pain to write man cries#This is just me rambling lol ignore it I just wanted to spam aau thoughts#In other news I made shapes redesigns but Iām on the fence on posting them bc idk if I wanna spoil or not hhhhhhhhh#Nowadays Iām more chill w spoiling things than I used to be#But there are a handful of things Iāve kept shut about (ex being princes name or mjs species stuff etc)#So Iām not sure if this thing with shapes i should keep secret or just post bc I used to spoil it but idk now#Shrugs#maybe Iāll do a poll later I dunno#Ok yapping over byeeeeee
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I thought of doing something nice for this year's Valentine's Day, so here's a poll with rare pairings from F&B (I decided to choose a Targ/dragonrider and a non Targ/dragonrider, just to do the clichƩ "hold on me" pose). Whoever you people chose as the winner, I'll draw them on a little (romantic) dragon trip
#asoiaf#fire and blood#A song of ice and fire#text#I know some of them are very minor and very rare to come by#but I think they all have some interesting dynamics for shipping#and they're fun too#so vote for your favorite I guess#also important to mention#why is it so hard to find any alternative ships for both the OG Rhaenys and Laena?#I swear I tried to include at least one of the two#but beyond their main and secondary ships#they had no other (non targ) characters to go with#especially Laena#depending on how the drawing goes I might do one poll specifically with HotD ships later on
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the #radio silence tagging problem in the hazbin fandom
said I would make a more eye-catching psa about this, here it is
**although #radiosilence WITHOUT the space is better than #radio silence with the space, I would still like to discourage it, will elaborate later
and 90% of the time, they will listen and change accordingly.
and oh yeah. about that book.
Why shouldn't #radio silence be used?
Radio Silence is the name of a book set in the heartstopper universe by alice oseman.
(which also features a canon aspec character, pictured on the right: aled last!)
and as such: #radio silence is their MAIN FANDOM tag. it is inconsiderate to flood their tag with content from another fandom, especially one as popular as hazbin hotel. but unfortunately, this is something that is already happening because of radiosilence as a ship tag.
and if you're not convinced this is something that bothers radio silence fans, here's some input from the fans themselves:
Wait, so is #radiosilence without the space still fine to use?
it's better than the mistagging of #radio silence with the space. but ONLY on tumblr, because on tumblr, we're allowed the privilege of adding spaces to tags.
I still would like to discourage it though, because for as long as this tag is popularly in use, there will constantly be people mistagging it with a space. I've done what I could to nudge people to fix their tagging but I can't constantly keep this up.
plus, on other sites such as tiktok and twitter, #radiosilence IS literally the main tag for the book because you literally can't add spaces for tags on those sites. so the radio silence book fandom is likely even more drowned out on those sites than here on tumblr because of the popularisation of #radiosilence as a tag for one-sided radiostatic.
I will not be forcing anyone to ditch #radiosilence without the space as a tag though, especially when it's already so popularly used and essentially impossible to get everyone to change it, but I encourage you to go for other options if you are willing to such as:
#onewaybroadcast
decided via a poll last month that was ongoing before #radiosilence was initially popularised, held by ChaoticAce2005 and me.
it's the tag that I always use for one-sided radiostatic and is decently used by others as well! and you won't run into any issue with clashing with the radio silence/osemanverse fandom at all this way. but again, I will not force you, all I ask is that AT THE VERY LEAST, don't tag #radio silence with the space and to nudge others to change it if they do.
please help to silence the radio silence tag!
(the tagging issue on tiktok and twitter are outside of my jurisdiction as I don't engage with hazbin on twitter and I don't even use tiktok, but if possible, it would be appreciated if anyone is able to spread the alternate tag #onewaybroadcast on those sites too to discourage flooding the radio silence book fandom! I believe the original person to coin #radiosilence has been doing work to discourage it on tiktok too, any help is appreciated!)
#osrs.txt#osrs.art#radiosilence#radio silence#radiostatic#staticradio#one sided radiostatic#one sided staticradio#onewaybroadcast#aroace alastor#hazbin vox#hazbin hotel vox#vox#vox hazbin#vox hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor#alastor hazbin#alastor hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel#silencing the radio silence tag#1k
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Anything you can do, I can do better! Sooner or later, I'm greater than you!
AAAA NAJMA SHE HERE!! Credits to @qsoap for the idea of having her snatch Jamil's chef uniform >:)) it's a bit big on her-
I think it would be super fun to have Jamil and Najma rival over their cooking skills! They'd both be really good at it, though Najma would do it more for funsies and less as an obligation to the Asims.
Tags! :D
@lowcallyfruity @skriblee-ksk @kathxrat-01 @thehollowwriter @distant-velleity
@beneathsakurashade @techno-danger @the-trinket-witch @kitwasnothere @cecilebutcher
@justm3di0cr3 @twsted-canvas @prince-kallisto @scint1llat3
#boopshoopsart#najma viper#twst najma#twisted wonderland#twst#twst oc#disney twst#character art#twst fanart#twst headcanons#digital doodle#digital sketch#digital drawing#digital art#digital illustration#artblr#artists on tumblr
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Making my own post because my thoughts have strayed pretty far from the immediate topic but re: that āace-friendlyā AO3 tag poll
Most comments on that post Iāve seen are agreeing that itās useless and infantalizing when it means āno sexā and a few comments have mentioned what they would want a tag like that to mean. Many of the ideas are good, but I think they still suffer from āwait what does Ace friendly even mean. Who decidesā problem
Which is why I wouldnāt want to see āAce-friendlyā even with another meaning, but thereās a couple more specific tags I would like to see on a fic, once in a while:
Non-amatonormative depiction of romance ā self-explanatory. I would love for something like this to be a searchable tag! I sometimes like reading romance, and would like there to be an easier way to find some that I am sure wonāt be full of ānow that we have kissed once, our relationship is so much more important than it was before, when we were merely friends forged in the fires of battle. Also we now no longer care about our other friends.ā
Non-amatonormative Soulmate Worldbuilding ā somewhat like the above, but specific to soulmate AUs, to delineate which ones donāt embed monogamous romance for everyone as a law of physics in their universe
[character] open to a-spec interpretation ā for when you havenāt explicitly written an aro or ace character, but you also havenāt written anything that would contradict that, and you want to mention it.
Ace Character Not Subject to Interrogation ā you have an Ace character. They exist as they want and do not have to justify it in narration or in dialogue to any other character. The same tag for Aro would also be nice.
Signposted Sex Scenes ā some authors will leave notes like āhey if you want to skip the smut, it starts after the paragraph about the mushrooms and ends twelve paragraphs later.ā It would be great to know if a fic does that! It can make it easier to approach a work, for whatever reason a person might hesitate, without making any assumptions why anyone might do that. (Sometimes I want to skip a sex scene just because Iām reading on my lunch break at work!)
Thereās probably others that would be useful but I canāt think of any right nowāfeel free to add on if you like.
#none of these are a thing i absolutely need to know about beforehand#but sometimes itās nice to know stuff#if an author feels like telling about it#ace posting
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Propaganda
Marlene Dietrich (Shanghai Express, Witness for the Prosecution, Morocco)āBisexual icon, super hot when dressed both masculine and feminine, lived up her life in the queer Berlin scene of the 1920s, central to the 'sewing circle' of the secret sapphic actresses of Old Hollywood, refused lucrative offers by the Nazis and helped Jews and others under persecution to escape Nazi Germany, the love of my life
Sophia Loren (Marriage Italian Style, Houseboat)āMajor Italian star, first actress to win an Oscar for a performance not in English (for Two Women (1960)) and later when Roberto Benigni won an Oscar in 1999 he jumped over the chairs towards the stage going "Sophia Sophia!!" because he was running towards Sophia Loren and said he cared more about her than the Oscar, that's the effect she had on people. She was big in the 60s already even though she gained a lot more notoriety after that. And I mean. Can we take a moment and just.
This is round 6 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.
[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]
Sophia Loren:
She has maxed out all her stats: beauty, elegance, sensuality, she's got it all. her mesmerizing eyes, her sensual mouth, her sharp face shape, her everything is so striking and unlike any other beauty in films. she was also voted the world most beautiful woman when she was freaking 65
im submitting her in honor of my dad bc she was the first celebrity crush of his he ever admitted to me and my sister :) and he was right. shes so pretty
OSCAR WINNER. Worked with some of the hottest leading men in Hollywood but remained faithful to her husband whom she had a loving marriage with till he died (even though Cary Grant almost tempted her once, it's complicated)
One of the most well-known sex symbols of the Golden Age of Hollywood, and unlike some unfortunate others, she seems to have been pretty well at peace with occupying that status. She made assertiveness and a tempestuous temper seem glamorous, and although she's famous for side-eying Jayne Manisfield's cleavage, honestly? She's one to talk.
Absolutely, drop-dead sexy, also a hard working, extraordinarily talented actress who didn't shy away from the less glamorous roles to gift us some gritty, memorable performances
Submitting this on behalf of my dad, who knows nothing of tumblr or this blog, but I remember being a kid watching Houseboat while my mom thirsted after Cary Grant, dad thirsted after Sophia Loren, and I was excited that they lived on a boat. Anyway, she's extremely beautiful and was an international star, doing a ton of movies in Italy before being recognized in the US.
JUST LOOK AT HER Y'ALL
Very smart and beautiful, the characters that she played (I mean those in the movies that I put in the previous question) are as strong and determined as her which I think adds to her hotness.
Global superstar and my late grandfather's long time movie star crush and for a man as quiet as he was, and as hopelessly devoted to his wife as he was, the fact that I know that means she was EXCEPTIONAL.
Big in the chest, snatched in the waist, pretty in the face š³
Sexy, beautiful, deep. A real star.
Her performance in "Man of La Mancha" is just so very captivating. Dubbed as "the Italian Marilyn Monroe", she looks beautiful in any movie and at any age.
Forget the exotic sexpot of her Hollywood films and go back to her Italian career: sparking with Marcello Mastroianni as the woman who drives him mad and outwits all his fumbling attempts at macho posturing in their early films, and showing a tender side in their 1970s films. Sophia isnāt self-conscious about who she is or her beautiful body: she enjoys being herself and she wants us all to enjoy ourselves too.
She starred in films as a sexually emancipated persona and was one of the best known sex symbols of the time. She is a great cook and her filmography is immense.
On the misattributed quote that Sophia owed everything to spaghetti: 'Did you actually say the quote frequently attributed to you, "Everything you see I owe to spaghetti"?' "Non ĆØ vero! It's not true! It's such a silly thing. I owe it to spaghetti, no, no. Completely made up."
Marlene Dietrich:
ms dietrich....ms dietrich pls.....sit on my face
its marlene dietrich!!!! queer legend, easily the hottest person to ever wear a tuxedo, that hot hot voice, those glamorous glamorous moviesā¦. most famously she starred in a string of movies directed by josef von sternberg throughout the 1930s, beginning with the blue angel which catapulted her to stardom in the role of the cabaret singer lola lola. known for his exquisite eye for lighting, texture, imagery, von sternberg devoted himself over the course of their collaborations to acquiring exceptional skill at photographing dietrich herself in particular, a worthy direction in which to expend effort im sure we can all agree. she collaborated with many other great directors of the era as well, including rouben mamoulian (song of songs), frank borzage (desire), ernst lubitsch (angel), fritz lang (rancho notorious), and billy wilder (witness for the prosecution). the encyclopedia britannica entry im looking at while compiling this propaganda describes her as having an āaura of sophistication and languid sexualityā whichāļøšÆ. born marie magdalene dietrich, she combined her first and middle names to coin the moniker āmarleneā. she was a trendsetter in her incorporation of trousers, suits, and menswear into her wardrobe and her androgynous allure was often remarked upon. critic kenneth tynan wrote, āShe has sex, but no particular gender. She has the bearing of a man; the characters she plays love power and wear trousers. Her masculinity appeals to women and her sexuality to men.ā in the 1920s she enjoyed the vibrant queer nightlife of weimar berlin, visiting gay bars and drag balls, and in hollywood her love affairs with men and women were an open secret. she was an ardent opponent of nazi germany, refusing lucrative contacts offered her to make films there, raising money with billy wilder to help jews and dissidents escape, and undertaking extensive USO tours to entertain soldiers with an act that included her a playing musical saw and doing a mindreading routine she learned from orson welles. starting in the 50s and continuing into the mid-70s she worked largely as a cabaret artist touring the world to large audiences, employing burt bacharach as her musical arranger.
First of all, there are those publicity photos of her in a tux. Second of all, I have never been the same since knowing that she sent copies of those photos to her Berlin lovers signed "Daddy Marlene." Not only is she hot in all circumstances, but she can do everything from earthy to ice queen. Also, she kept getting sexy romantic lead parts in Hollywood after the age of 40, which would be rare even now. She hated Nazis, loved her friends, and had a sapphic social circle in Hollywood. She also had cheekbones that could cut glass and a voice that could melt you.
Her GENDER her looks her voice her everything
āIn her films and record-breaking cabaret performances, Miss Dietrich artfully projected cool sophistication, self-mockery and infinite experience. Her sexuality was audacious, her wit was insolent and her manner was ageless. With a world-weary charm and a diaphanous gown showing off her celebrated legs, she was the quintessential cabaret entertainer of Weimar-era Germany.ā
The bar scene in Morocco awoke something in me and ultimately changed my gender
youtube
"Her manner, the critic Kenneth Tynan wrote, was that of āa serpentine lasso whereby her voice casually winds itself around our most vulnerable fantasies.ā Her friend Maurice Chevalier said: āDietrich is something that never existed before and may never exist again.āā
"Songstress, photographer, fashion icon, out bisexual phenom (notoriously stole Lupe Velez and Joan Crawford's men, and Errol Flynn's wife, had a torrid affair with Greta Garbo that ended in a 60-year feud, other notable conquests including Erich Maria Remarque -yes, the guy who wrote All Quiet on the Western Front- Douglas Fairbanks Junior, Claudette Colbert, Mercedes de Acosta, Edith Piaf), anti-Nazi activist. Marlene was a bitch - she had an open marriage for decades and one of her favorite things was making catty commentary about her current lover with her husband, and her relationship with her daughter was painful- but she was also immensely talented, a hard worker, an opponent of fascism and the hottest ice queen in Hollywood for a long time."
youtube
"She can sing! She can act! She told the Nazis to fuck off and became a US citizen out of spite! She worked with other German exiles to create a fund to help Jews and German dissidents escape (she donated an entire movie salary, about $450k, to the cause). She looks REALLY GOOD in a suit. If you're not convinced, please listen to her sing "Lili Marlene". Absolutely gorgeous woman with a gorgeous voice."
Gifset link
"Bisexual icon and Nazi-hater. Looks absolutely stunning in the suits she liked to wear. 'I dress for the image. Not for myself, not for the public, not for fashion, not for men'."
"would you not let her walk on you?"
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the full party lineup (and their van) - au details + poll under the cut!
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individual outfit details -> pts. i and ii
party outfit cohesion
to unify the group, i purposefully made it so that their outfits all have one piece that shares colors with a different member (ex. mike's jacket is the same color as lucas's pants, max's jacket is the same color as el's jeans, etc.)
the party swap clothes with each other occasionally (el swaps all the time) - sometimes they do it on purpose, sometimes on accident
the boys all share socks and belts with each other + the girls share pants
party dynamics
party started off with just the boys -> el and max join later
very tight knit group, all love each other - max's addition was the most volatile change and did not start off well
group roles are established (still trying to figure out the story, but i do know how each party member fits within the group)
regarding romance atp in the story -> lumax are in an "its complicated" stage (kissed once and don't know what to do ab it) and byler are tentative fwb with a strained friendship bc of it (up to interpretation for what they get up to)
--- other notes: i'm doing a poll out of curiosity's sake tbh - i want to know what you guys are interested in when im making this au! the results of the poll aren't necessarily what i'll post next since i've been making some character sheets for the party to establish how they act with their personalities, but either way, it'll be interesting to see the results. every option on the poll are things that i'm looking to explore anyways so this is really just for me to gauge interest :)
#sigh this au is a lot and i gotta design some zombies#stranger things#stranger things fanart#mike wheeler#will byers#el hopper#max mayfield#dustin henderson#lucas sinclair#the party#st apoc au#byler#lumax#sammi's art
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Food Bank Fundraiser
Hi everyone!
First of all, I want to say thanks to everyone who's been leaving such nice tags/comments on stuff I've posted! It's been really encouraging (o^ā½^o)
Anyway, I think we all know it's very dark days on the economic front for many of us. So as such, I'd like to help raise some funds for Food Banks Canada! In exchange for you making a donation to the food bank, I will draw a character suggestion!
I know this is not really the sort of thing I normally do or post here but... many folks are struggling to put food on the table right now, and the food bank is a source of support for many and provides an absolute necessity. I've seen many people struggling in my own city, and food security has become an even bigger issue than it already was in the last couple of years with the food bank struggling to keep up with demand. Of course, food security is an issue across the whole country that's putting a huge strain on food banks, with nearly 5% of the entire population making use of food banks monthly, and 23% of the population reporting food insecurity (CBC, 2024; Global News, 2024). Unsurprisingly, those who are already most disadvantaged suffer the effects of food scarcity even more (Statistics Canada, 2023). To make matters more desperate, Canada's food bank system is on the brink of collapse (CTV News, 2024).
I know this isn't going to something big enough to change the world or anything, but being able to make even a small impact for individual people is important too!
āØIncentivesāØ
Of course, I'm sure people aren't just in it for a reward, but rewards make things all the sweeter, right?
For those who want to contribute, I'll take a character suggestion and add it to a poll (depending on the number of contributors, it may be split up into multiple polls), and then I'll draw as many as I can from top to bottom ranking! If you contribute, please send me a DM with your donation receipt and your character idea! They won't necessarily all be drawn in the same style, and they'll be done according to how much time I've got. (I know that commissions are probably the biggest incentive, but realistically, I struggle to get them done quickly and they're probably not that affordable to everyone)
If you prefer SFW or NSFW, you can let me know (But NSFW will be posted to Cohost). If you make a bigger contribution, I'll reach out to you and ask if you wanna see more specifics/details in your piece. How's that for sweetening the pie? :3
For those who can't make a donation (which is completely understandable), simply spreading the post is also helpful, and I appreciate that greatly as well!
Don't forget that giving a donation allows you to get a tax break based on the amount donated as well!
Alternatives?
If you'd rather donate to your own local food bank, that's great too! You can DM me and send me a pic of your receipt and I'll still add your suggestion to the poll.
If you REALLY want a commission, you can also DM me and I'll do my best to fulfil it! I won't be taking commissions for this till/if there's at least a couple of items on the poll though. The proceeds will go to my own local food bank. The commission will be done later though, and may take some time to fulfil. I take payment only after starting.
When do we start??
I guess once there's a good number of poll options? I have no idea how long that will be, but rest assured I'll keep you updated!
Where do we contribute?
You can make your donation to Food Banks Canada! They really need it!
Alternatively, you can make a donation to your local food bank or equivalent charity.
Other Questions?
Feel free to send me a message or an ask! I'll get back to you ASAP. If I need to include more details or clarify something, let me know! It's my first time doing this!
TL;DR
I want to help raise money for food banks! Anyone who contributes to Food Banks Canada (or donates to their own local food bank or equivalent charity) can DM me with their receipt and give a character to add to the poll. Poll characters will be drawn in order of their ranking, as many as I can manage, over as long a period of time as I can manage!
No pressure to donate of course, I just figured this would be a fun way of raising a bit of money to help out, and allow us to donate more than what I personally can
Current Contributor Count: 13
Suggested Characters:
Imagine your beloved, obscure or popular character here on this poll list! Oooooooh, how lucrative :3
Total funds raised:
780.36$!!!
#I bet Amiya would encourage donations to the food bank too right??#I know it's unorthodox to run it like this!#But boy is it dire days#food bank#donation#Art#fundraising#Arknights#Amiya#pixel art#pixel#art#poll#digital art#artists on tumblr
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treasure in the sea ā fushiguro toji.
āOkay, then, Tojiā¦.ā you teased lightly, hoping to ease the heaviness of the moment. āWhatās the most complicated thing in your life right now?ā He laughed softly, the sound mixing with the crash of the water. āYou asking me that, here of all places, doll.ā he said, shaking his head as if you had walked right into some unspoken truth. You blinked, suddenly unsure of what to say. āWhat do you mean?ā Toji met your gaze, the teasing spark in his blueāgreen eyes replaced by something more serious, more real. His voice was low when he spoke, just loud enough for you to hear over the ocean. āYou, probably.ā
GENRE: alternate universe - modern au!;
WARNING/S: not safe for work (nsfw), r-18, angst, fluff, first love, friends to lovers, romance, love, drama, hurt/comfort, break up, college sweethearts, smut, kissing, oral receiving, implied p-i-v sex, sexual intercourse, pining, hurt, happy ending, domestic, loss, death, grief character death, guilt, parenthood, depictions of sexual acts, depiction of pining, depiction of parenthood, depiction of guilt, depiction of grief, depiction of character death, depiction of break up, mention of parting, mention of the past, mention of character death, mention of drug overdose, mention of sexual acts and conducts, dad!toji, mom! reader, son! megumi;
WORD COUNT: 14k words
NOTE: i can't believe that toji finally won a poll and with a massive lead. i loved writing this a lot and this was so exciting to write. this was based on this japanese show called umi no hajimari and i adored the show. everything about this was just so lovely. i feel like toji in canon did love megumi and mamaguro a lot, so i wanted it to translate here no matter what. there is smut here so this is a prelude to the kinktober event that starts on october 4th, 2024. i hope you enjoy that too!!! anyway, i love you all <3
masterlist
if you want to, tip! <3
IT WAS LIKE FATE LET THIS HAPPEN. In the bustling crowd of students gathering around tables covered with colorful fliers, you spotted him: Zenin Toji, standing tall and frigid, looking somewhat out of place, his eyes scanning the scene as if he wasnāt quite sure where he wanted to be.Ā
Meanwhile, you, shorter and bright eyed, were grabbing every flier you could find, from the Art Club to Ultimate Frisbee. It was quite crazy, to see you grab them with a smile on your face over and over in a speed he couldnāt keep up with. Toji noticed your enthusiasm, probably confused by the sheer number of papers you were collecting.
You exchanged a glance, a brief nod and a small smile. But it was clear he wasnāt sure about the whole "college club" thing. He wasnāt even sure about joining school clubs in high school.
He lingered at a few tables, undecided, but eventually, you lost sight of him in the crowd as you moved on to collect more fliers and started mingling with the upperclassmen managing the booths accommodating the freshmen. Toji thought you were a dream, a momentās notice. And yet, what he didnāt realize is that you were anything but that.
Later that evening, you attended a dinner event hosted for various clubs, a casual mixer where students could gather, chat, and get a feel for different groups on campus. To get used to college life. The room buzzed with laughter and conversation, and tables were spread with club brochures, each one trying to outshine the others to attract new members.Ā
You had settled at a table near the center, surrounded by people engaged in light conversation, but your thoughts kept drifting. You had collected a few fliers from the clubs you were curious about, but you still felt undecided. Well, they all had mixers in the upcoming days. So, you wanted to judge them by eating at the restaurants they went to. The better the food, the better you feel about the club!
As you chatted politely with a few others, you caught a glimpse of someone familiar out of the corner of your eye. That tall boy with that obnoxious gaze. Zenin Toji, who you'd seen earlier in the day looking equally disinterested, was seated a few tables away. His broad frame slouched back casually, yet something about his presence felt charged. The rest of the room seemed to fade for a moment as he caught your eye. A slow, playful smirk curled on his lips.
Before you could react, Toji stood and approached your table. Without hesitation, he plopped down into the empty seat beside you. "Still hoarding fliers?" he teased, his voice low and amused.
You glanced at the stack of fliers you had gathered, caught off guard by his casual confidence. āI guess I am.ā you said with a small smile, half-laughing at his remark, trying to shake off the flustered feeling his sudden closeness brought. His presence seemed to shift the mood, drawing your focus entirely to him, while the rest of the room hummed in the background.
Toji leaned back in his chair, his gaze flicking between you and the fliers, clearly finding humor in your indecision. āAny standouts, or are you just collecting paper at this point?ā
The playful banter had a magnetic pull, and despite not knowing much about him, you found yourself leaning into the conversation.
You shifted in your seat, the weight of his presence drawing you in despite the crowded room. āA little of both, I think.ā you replied with a smirk, trying to match his easygoing attitude. You glanced at the fliers in your hand, suddenly self-conscious. āIāve narrowed it down to a few, butā¦ havenāt quite committed.ā
Toji chuckled, his eyes glinting with amusement. āCommitment issues, huh?ā
You shot him a playful glare. āMaybe I just like to weigh my options. I mean, the better the food, the better the shot.ā
His smirk widened, and he leaned in slightly, his arm resting on the back of your chair. āOr maybe youāre overthinking it.ā he said, his voice dipping lower, more personal. āSometimes itās better to just pick something and see what happens.ā
The sudden shift in his tone sent a ripple of warmth through you, his casual confidence making it hard to resist the pull of the conversation. He didnāt seem like the type to overthink anything, which was probably why he intrigued you so much. Toji was all instinct and ease, a stark contrast to your careful, measured approach to things.
āIs that what you did?ā you asked, raising an eyebrow. āJust pick a club and see where it takes you?ā
Toji glanced around the room, as if he hadnāt really considered joining anything until now. āI havenāt picked anything yet,ā he admitted, leaning back again, his arm still casually draped behind you. āNot sure if I will.ā
You tilted your head, curiosity getting the better of you. āSo why are you here then?ā
He shrugged, but there was a glint of mischief in his eyes. āMaybe I was waiting to see what youād pick.ā
The comment caught you off guard, and you felt a faint blush rise to your cheeks. His teasing was effortless, and it disarmed you more than you cared to admit. āOh, so now Iām the deciding factor?ā you asked, trying to deflect with humor, but your heart skipped a beat at the playful challenge in his words.
āLooks like it.ā he replied smoothly, his eyes holding yours for a moment longer than necessary. There was something unspoken in the air between you, an electric undercurrent that neither of you acknowledged but both clearly felt. Tojiās laid-back demeanor only heightened the tension, making it hard to look away from him.
Before you could respond, the conversation around the table picked up, a few people asking you about the clubs youād been considering. You answered politely, but your thoughts kept drifting back to Toji, who remained seated comfortably beside you, like he had no intention of leaving anytime soon.
As the evening wore on, you found yourself more and more aware of his presenceāthe way he occasionally leaned in to comment on something, his quiet observations that made you laugh, the subtle glances he threw your way. There was an ease to his company that surprised you, like youād known him longer than just this fleeting encounter.
Eventually, the mixer began winding down, and people started to gather their things, heading out in groups or saying goodbyes. Toji stretched lazily beside you, his smirk still lingering.
āSo, have you made up your mind yet?ā he asked, glancing at the fliers one last time.
You held them up, looking between him and the colorful pages. āMaybe Iāll just join the one you do.ā
Toji raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. āNow youāre the one following me?ā
You shrugged, playing it off, but there was a spark of genuine interest behind your words. āMaybe I just want to see what happens.ā
For a second, he looked at you like he was trying to figure you out, then his smirk softened into something more thoughtful. āGuess weāll both find out, thenā¦doll.ā he said, standing up and offering you a hand.
You took it, feeling the warmth of his grip, and as you stood beside him, the energy between you shifted slightly. It wasnāt just playful teasing anymoreāthere was something real in the air, an unspoken understanding that this chance encounter might be the start of something neither of you had planned.
You stood there for a moment, hand still in his, feeling the weight of the moment linger between you both. Toji's grip was warm, firm but casual, and even as he let go, the imprint of that brief touch stayed with you. He glanced around the room, as if assessing how much time was left before the evening fully wrapped up, then turned back to you with a raised eyebrow.
āSoā¦..ā he said, slipping his hands into his pockets. āSince youāre so indecisive about clubs, maybe we should keep in touch. In case you need more advice.ā
You caught the playful glint in his eye, but there was an undercurrent of something genuine there too. Without really thinking it through, you reached for your phone. āYeah, advice. Thatās what I need, hm?ā you joked, handing him your phone with a smirk.
Toji took it without hesitation, his fingers moving quickly as he typed in his number. He handed it back to you, and you glanced down to see his contact saved simply as Toji. No last name, just that. There was something almost intimate about the simplicity of it. He shot you a lopsided grin.
āNow you can bug me about which club to join, doll.ā he teased, but his tone was soft, almost like he was saying more than his words let on.
You saved your number in his phone in return, noticing how natural it felt to exchange numbers with him, like this wasnāt the first time youād done this. Maybe it was the easy way he carried himself, or the way his smirk softened when he looked at you, but it feltā¦ effortless. You werenāt sure what that meant yet, but you liked it.
As you handed back his phone, you found yourself lingering, caught in the moment between what this was and what it could become. āIāll hold you to that, you know. The advice.ā you said lightly, breaking the tension but not quite dispelling it. Your gaze lingered towards him for a little too long. āYou better answer, okay?ā
Toji chuckled, his eyes glancing over your face like he was committing it to memory. āWhy wouldnāt I?ā he snickers back at you. āThat means Iāll be hearing from you soon.ā
The way he said it wasnāt a questionāit was a certainty. Something about the confidence in his words sent a ripple through you. You nodded, feeling a smile tug at your lips as you tried to play it cool. āMaybe sooner than you think.ā
He laughed quietly, clearly enjoying this little back-and-forth. āIāll keep my phone close, then.ā
Just as the room started to clear out, Toji took a small step closer, his voice lowering slightly. āSee you aroundā¦ and donāt overthink it. Iāve got a feeling youāre not as indecisive as you make yourself out to be.ā
There was something almost intimate in the way he said it, like he saw through your front and into something deeper. Before you could reply, Toji gave you one last smirk, a teasing glance, then turned and walked toward the door, disappearing into the flow of people heading out.
You stood there for a moment, watching him go, your phone still in hand, his number glowing on the screen. The mixerās noise buzzed in the background, but your mind was elsewhere, still caught on the feeling of that exchangeālight and playful on the surface, but weighted with possibility underneath.
As you finally made your way to the exit, you found yourself thinking back on his words, the certainty in them. Maybe you werenāt as undecided as you thought. Or maybe Toji was the push you didnāt realize you needed.
Later, as you stepped into the cool evening air, your phone buzzed in your hand. A message flashed on the screen.
Toji: Already overthinking things?
You smiled to yourself, feeling the warmth of anticipation in your chest. Maybe this was the start of something, after all.
EVERYTHING QUICKLY STARTED FROM THERE. From that night, your friendship with Zenin Toji developed naturally, like youād always known each other. You quickly fell into a rhythm of hanging out at various club events together, even though Zenin Toji never quite settled on joining any one group.Ā
He showed up with his usual laid-back grin, fliers still folded in his pocket, but it didnāt matter. The bond you formed over your shared indecisionāand the string of free dinners at the eventsāwas enough to keep you together. It was easy, lighthearted, the way you could sit with him at these gatherings and slip into conversation like you were old friends.
Toji was an engineering major, which surprised you at first, given his carefree attitude and lack of outward focus. He rarely talked about school, yet somehow, you could picture him excelling in that structured world of machines, calculations, and practical problems. In contrast, you were a classical music major, your world filled with compositions, performances, and delicate precision. It seemed like a strange match on the surface, but somehow, the two of you worked.
The more time you spent together, the more you realized that Toji had a knack for grounding you in ways you didnāt expect. When youād get lost in your head, agonizing over pieces of music or second-guessing your choices, Toji had a way of cutting through the noise with his straightforward advice. āDonāt think so hard, doll.ā heād say, almost like it was the simplest thing in the world. And sometimes, it was.
Weeks turned into months, and your connection with him deepened. You found yourself spending more time outside of the club events, drawn together by your shared love for adventure. It became almost a tradition between the two of you.
The spontaneous outings where neither of you planned ahead, just picking up and going somewhere on a whim. Toji had this effortless energy about him that made you want to say yes to everything, even things you wouldnāt normally do. There was something freeing about being around him, like he gave you permission to let go of the structure you were so used to.
One of his favorite places to take you was the sea. You werenāt sure how it had come up the first time, but maybe during a casual conversation, or maybe you had mentioned it while reminiscing about the littlest of things, from your childhood memories to what shape of the cloud you think you see.Ā
But once Toji knew you had a deep connection to the ocean, he made a point of driving you there whenever he could. There was a stretch of coastline a couple of hours away, not too far but far enough to feel like an escape from the routine of classes and rehearsals.
The first time he took you, you had been stressed over an upcoming recital, feeling the weight of expectation pressing down on you. Toji had sensed it, of course, and in his usual no-nonsense way, he simply said, āLetās go.ā
The drive was quiet at first, filled with the sound of the engine and the open road. But as the scenery changed from city streets to winding coastal roads, you felt yourself relax, your worries melting away in the face of the endless horizon. When you finally arrived, the sea stretched out before you like an open invitation, the salty air filling your lungs and the rhythmic crashing of the waves soothing something deep inside you.
It was on that shore that you realized how much Toji meant to you. He didnāt say much, didnāt need to. He just stood there beside you, hands in his pockets, letting you have the space to breathe. His presence was steady, grounding, like the ocean itselfāa constant in your life that you hadnāt known you needed.
Over the months, those trips became your refuge. Whenever things get overwhelming; whether it was school, life, or the inevitable chaos that comes with growing upāToji would drop whatever he was doing at the time and drive you to the sea. Youād spend hours walking along the beach, talking about everything and nothing.Ā
Sometimes youād sit in silence, both of you content just to be there, feeling the wind on your faces and the cool sand beneath your feet. It was sometimes better, enjoying each otherās company. Other times, youād talk late into the night, sharing stories from your childhoods, dreams for the future, and even the occasional fear that lingered in the back of your mind.
For Toji, the sea seemed to bring out a different side of himāa quieter, more reflective side. It was during these trips that heād let his guard down, offering glimpses into his life beyond the cool, carefree persona he usually wore.Ā
You learned that heād grown up near the ocean, that it had been his escape as a kid, a place where he could forget the troubles waiting for him at home. He never went into too much detail, but you could hear it in his voiceāthe weight of something unspoken, a part of him that he wasnāt quite ready to share yet.
For you, the sea was a place of peace. It reminded you of childhood summers spent by the shore, of simpler times when the only thing that mattered was the sound of the waves and the feeling of sand between your toes. Being there with Toji brought back that sense of calm, of being anchored in the present, and you found yourself growing more and more attached to those moments together.
Your friendship was effortless, but there was something else growing between you, something that neither of you had acknowledged out loud yet. It lingered in the spaces between your conversations, in the way Toji would glance at you when you werenāt looking, or the way your heart would skip a beat when his hand brushed against yours as you walked along the shore. It wasnāt just friendship anymoreāit was something deeper, something that made your time together feel heavier, more significant.
But for now, you didnāt push it. You let things unfold as they would, trusting that whatever was happening between you and Toji would make itself known in time. And until then, you were content to keep taking those spontaneous trips to the sea, finding peace in each otherās company, knowing that somehow, no matter where you were, you always found your way back to him.
The sun hung low in the sky, casting a golden glow over the water as you and Toji waded into the sea. The cool waves lapped at your ankles, sending shivers up your spine as you walked further in, side by side. The gentle roar of the ocean filled the space between you, and for a while, neither of you spoke, simply enjoying the serenity of the moment.
The sea had become your shared escape, a place where words werenāt always needed but somehow always found their way into the quiet moments. Toji was waist-deep now, his eyes fixed on the horizon, that familiar smirk playing on his lips.
āYou always get this serious when weāre out here, you know?ā you said, splashing a bit of water in his direction, hoping to break the quiet spell. āWhat are you thinking about?ā
He glanced over at you, dodging the splash with ease. āThe ocean does that to me, doll.ā he admitted. āMakes you feel small, doesnāt it?ā
You nodded, understanding what he meant. āYeah, but in a good way. Like nothing else matters out here.ā
Toji tilted his head slightly, considering your words. His usual laid-back attitude softened, replaced by that contemplative side he only seemed to show when you were near the water. āMaybe thatās why I keep bringing you here, doll.ā he said, his voice quieter now, almost drowned out by the sound of the waves. āKeeps things simple.ā
You smiled, feeling a warmth spread through your chest that had nothing to do with the sunās fading rays. āYou do like things simple, donāt you?ā
Toji gave a half-shrug, the corner of his mouth quivering. āNot everything, doll. I thought you knew that.ā
There was a pause, and his words hung in the air between you. The two of you had been dancing around something for months now, that unspoken connection that neither of you had fully acknowledged. The tension between friendship and something more had always been there, simmering beneath the surface like the waves that rolled in at your feet.
āOkay, then, Tojiā¦.ā you teased lightly, hoping to ease the heaviness of the moment. āWhatās the most complicated thing in your life right now?ā
He laughed softly, the sound mixing with the crash of the water. āYou asking me that, here of all places, doll.ā he said, shaking his head as if you had walked right into some unspoken truth.
You blinked, suddenly unsure of what to say. āWhat do you mean?ā
Toji met your gaze, the teasing spark in his blueāgreen eyes replaced by something more serious, more real. His voice was low when he spoke, just loud enough for you to hear over the ocean. āYou, probably.ā
Your breath caught for a moment, the weight of his words sinking in. He wasnāt joking, not this time. There was no playful smirk, no light teasing. He was being honest in that way only Toji could beāblunt, to the point, but with a tenderness you werenāt used to seeing from him.
You swallowed, suddenly feeling the depth of the water around you, the way it mirrored the depth of what was happening between you two. āI didnāt think I was that complicated.ā you managed to say, your voice soft but laced with a nervous laugh.
Toji took a step closer, the water swirling around his waist, but the space between you felt even more significant. āYouāre not. You never have been.ā he said. āBut what I feel for you? Thatās the complicated part.ā
His words sent a jolt through you, and your heart started pounding in your chest. The two of you had spent months building this connection, this unspoken bond, and nowāhere, in the middle of the sea, surrounded by nothing but water and the fading light of the eveningāhe was finally saying it out loud.
āI wasnāt sure in the beginning, doll.ā Toji continued, his voice still low, careful, like he was treading new ground. āAt first, I thought it was just us hanging out, being friends. But thenā¦ I donāt know. The more time I spent with you, the harder it got to keep things simple. And it all justā¦.it just stopped becoming clear.ā
You felt the pull between you growing stronger, the unspoken tension finally surfacing. It had been there all along, in the way he looked at you when he thought you werenāt watching, in the way his casual touches lingered just a little too long. You could feel your heart beating out your chest, your eyes tense as you looked at him.
āTojiā¦.ā you said, your voice barely above a whisper. āI feel it too.ā
He didnāt say anything right away, but the relief that washed over his face was unmistakable. It was as though the tension disappeared as his shoulders dropped. The waves lapped gently at your legs, the soft push and pull mirroring the emotions between you. Toji stepped even closer, so close now that you could feel the warmth of his presence despite the cool water surrounding you both.
āI donāt do complicated things, doll.ā he said, his bright beautiful eyes locking onto yours.ābut Iām willing to try if itās with you.ā
The vulnerability in his words hit you like a wave. Toji, the man who seemed so laid-back and sure of himself, was standing here, opening up in a way you hadnāt expected. He was offering you something real, something he didnāt give easily.
You reached out, letting your hand find his beneath the water, your fingers intertwining with his. āI donāt need simple.ā you said, smiling softly. āWell, not without you. I justā¦. need you.ā
For a moment, the world seemed to fall away, the only sound the steady crash of the waves, the only feeling the warmth of his hand in yours. Tojiās gaze softened, and in that moment, it felt like something between you had finally clicked into place. Something unspoken, something that had always been there, was now laid bare between you.
He smiled then, that familiar, easy grin, but this time, it was softer, more genuine. āGuess that settles it, huh?ā
You laughed, feeling the tension finally break, replaced by a sense of peace that only the sea and Tojiācould give you. āYeah, I guess it does.ā
And as the two of you stood there, hand in hand, the sun setting behind you, the waves rolling gently at your feet, it felt like the beginning of something newāsomething neither of you could predict but both of you were ready to dive into together.
IT WAS LIKE FLOATING IN THE CLOUDS, EVERYTHING AFTER THAT. After that day at the sea, things between you and Toji shifted into something deeper. You started dating officially, but it wasnāt much different from before, just more intentional. You went everywhere togetherāspontaneous weekend trips, late-night diner runs, quiet evenings at your place with takeout and music playing in the background.Ā
He made you laugh like no one else could, and you found yourself feeling lighter in his presence. No one could make you feel this happy. Not anyone. Just your Toji. After that day at the sea, everything changed between you and Toji, but in the most natural way.
The shift wasnāt abruptāit was like everything you both had been dancing around finally clicked into place. You were officially together now, but it didnāt feel that different from before, except for the fact that everything seemed more deliberate, more real.
Dating Toji was a blend of excitement and comfort. You found yourselves constantly making spontaneous decisions, from late-night drives to nowhere, to impromptu weekend getaways. He had this knack for making every moment feel like an adventure, even if all you were doing was stopping by a hole-in-the-wall diner at 2 AM for greasy burgers and fries. Somehow, the world felt bigger with him, like there was always something new to discover as long as he was by your side.
The quiet moments became just as meaningful. Youād sit together at your apartment, the dim glow of the city outside your windows, takeout containers spread across the coffee table as some old-school vinyl hummed softly in the background. Toji wasnāt one for endless conversation, but when he did speak, it was either to crack a joke that left you laughing uncontrollably or to say something so unexpectedly sincere that it left you speechless.
And the way he looked at you, with those sharp eyes softened just for you, made your heart race in a way no one else ever could. He had this rough exterior, intimidating to most, but with you, he was differentāgentler in a way that seemed reserved for you alone. There were times when heād pull you close without a word, his arms wrapped around you, as if to remind you that he wasnāt going anywhere, that you were his, and he was yours.
You never realized how easy happiness could feel until him. Sure, life had its ups and downs, but with Toji, the weight of the world seemed lighter. He made you laugh like no one else ever could, often in the simplest, silliest ways. Whether it was his dry humor or those stupid pranks he'd pull just to see you roll your eyesāeverything about him had the power to brighten your day.
And then there were the quieter realizations, the ones that snuck up on you when you least expected it. Like when youād catch him glancing at you from across the room, and there was something so tender in his gaze that it almost took your breath away. Or when heād grab your hand in a crowded place, lacing his fingers through yours as if it were second nature, making you feel like the safest person in the world.
The truth was, no one made you feel the way Toji did. He wasnāt perfectāfar from itābut neither were you, and that was what made it work. There was no pretense with him, no need to hide or hold back. He saw you for who you were, accepted you, and made you feel like you were more than enough. In his presence, you felt lighter, freer, like everything was easier when you were together.
No one else could do that. Not anyone. Just your Toji.
He was your person, your unexpected joy, and as things deepened between you, you realized that he had become so much more than just a part of your life. He was your home.
He was at your place again after finals. It was like a magnetic pull; he couldnāt stay away from you, even after the grueling physical test that left him spent and drenched in sweat. Yet, here he wasāunbothered by his disheveled state. His body craved yours, and you could sense that same hunger in yourself. You had been waiting, yearning to close the distance, to touch him, taste himāeverything.
As your boyfriendās hand tenderly wrapped around your wrist, he tried with all his might to stop you. He had that surprised look on his face, almost as though heād been caught off guard. You could feel your boyfriend's grip firm but almost too careful, almost too cautious. You looked at him with those bright doe eyes.
āDoll, what are you doing? Iām supposed to be the one to go down on youāā
You didnāt let him finish at all, leaning towards him and kissing him passionately. You smiled against the way he kissed you back, his palm touching your cheek as the gravitational pull drew you both closer, deeper and deeper into the kiss. You parted your lips from him and took a moment to pull his hand away from your wrist. It was strong but tenderly gentle. You shove it away. You slowly knelt in front of him.
āLet me do this first. Please.ā
Toji could feel his breath hitch deeply. All he could feel at that moment was the way his knees trembled. He was sure that he was feeling it. It was too obvious. Everything about this was giving away the struggle between resistance and desire.Ā
āHere? In your kitchen, doll?ā His voice cracked slightly, weary hesitance betrayed by the heat that cut through the reverberation of words. His blueāgreen eyes darted down to where you were, your hardened resolve so clear, and then back to him with a wanton glance at the sweat on his bright tan skin. āYou canāt be serious, I have to cook our dinner nowāā
āPlease. Now.ā
āNow?ā Toji's question was more like a whisper, a mix of confusion and longing. It was as though he wasnāt sure if he should stop you or let you take him, right there, without a second thought. It was as though he was having a hard time figuring it out. āI canātā¦I canāt just have you do this in the kitchen. Itās not even cleanā¦.ā
His body told you all you needed to know. He wanted this as much as you did. You didn't answer him with words. Instead, you held his gaze, your intensity silencing the doubt that lingered in his eyes. Slowly, deliberately, your fingers trailed along his thigh, firm but teasing. His breath hitched again, sharper this time, and his hand flexed at his side as if unsure whether to stop you or let you take full control.
"Just let me, baby. Please, Toji." you whispered, your voice low and thick with need. It was a command, but more than that, a plea. You needed thisāneeded him.
His eyes fluttered shut for a moment, and you watched his resolve melt away. His chest rose and fell unevenly, each breath ragged, as though he was on the edge of a precipice, uncertain whether to fall or hold back. But when his hand, the one he'd tried to use to still you earlier, moved to your head, fingers tangling softly in your hair, you knew his decision.
"Youāreā" He tried to speak, but the words failed him. Whatever argument or hesitation he had left was swallowed by the way his body responded to your touch. The tension in him snapped like a taut string, and all that remained was the heat between you.
You leaned closer, lips ghosting over his skin, the salt of his sweat mixing with the warmth radiating from him. Every inch of him felt alive under your hands, and you could feel his pulse racing, mirroring your own urgency.
His grip in your hair tightened ever so slightly, and the sound that escaped him was one of surrender. "Fineā¦fine." he breathed out, a soft growl that sent a shiver down your spine. "Whatever you wantā¦ justā"
His words faltered again, but it didnāt matter. You knew exactly what he meant. Your fingers slid down his abdomen, feeling the tension ripple beneath his skin as you lowered yourself further. His muscles twitch involuntarily under your touch, betraying his anticipation despite his earlier hesitation. You could hear his breath hitch again, faster this time, his hand still tangled in your hair, half-pulling, half-guiding you as though he couldnāt decide whether to hold back or let go.
You knew, though. He wanted this as badly as you did, even if his mind had yet to catch up to his bodyās desires.
You pressed a kiss just above the waistband of his pants, slow and deliberate, feeling him tense beneath your lips. His hips jerked slightly, a reaction he couldnāt contain, and you smiled to yourself at the effect you were having on him. Your fingers toyed with the waistband, teasing him, drawing out the moment just a bit longer.
āStop teasingā¦ā he muttered, voice breathless and strained. His grip in your hair tightened for emphasis, but it lacked the conviction to pull you away. He was already lost in this, even if he tried to pretend otherwise.
You finally obliged, tugging down his pants, the fabric sliding against his skin, revealing him fully. His body shuddered at the sudden exposure, and a soft, involuntary groan escaped his lips as the cool air met his flushed skin.
You didnāt waste time after that, leaning in with purpose, your tongue flicking out to taste him. The groan that followed was deeper, rawer, his hand now gripping your hair tightly, holding on as if it was the only thing keeping him grounded. His legs trembled beneath your touch, and his breath came in ragged gasps as you moved, your mouth working him over with a slow, deliberate pace.
Every sound that escaped him, every twitch of his body, spurred you on, and you could feel him losing control. His hips buckled forward, desperate for more, and his other hand clutched the edge of the sofa behind him, knuckling white from the strain.
āFuck.ā he breathed, voice hoarse and barely audible, his entire body tense with the pleasure building inside him. āDonāt stopā¦ just like thatā¦ā
You could feel him unraveling, every touch, every flick of your tongue driving him closer to the edge. And you were glad for it. You were giving it to him. You were the cause of his pleasure.Ā His breath came in short, sharp gasps, and his body trembled under your ministrations.
He was close, and you knew it, but you kept going, pushing him further, not giving him a moment to recover or catch his breath. His head fell back, his chest heaving as he surrendered completely to the sensations coursing through him.
And then, with a final, ragged groan, he came undone beneath you, his entire body tensing as waves of pleasure crashed over him. His grip on your hair loosened, and he slumped back against the sofa, utterly spent, chest rising and falling heavily.
You pulled back slowly, watching as he tried to catch his breath, his eyes half-lidded, glazed over with satisfaction. His hand slid weakly from your hair, his body still trembling in the aftershocks of his release.
For a moment, neither of you spoke, the room filled only with the sound of his heavy breathing. Then, finally, he let out a soft chuckle, shaking his head as though in disbelief at what had just happened.
āGod.ā he muttered, running a hand through his hair. āYou really donāt play fair, do you?ā
You smiled, wiping your lips as you leaned back on your heels. āI told you to let me do this.ā
He laughed again, softer this time, eyes meeting yours with a mix of exhaustion and adoration. āYeah, doll.ā he whispered, voice still breathless. āYou did.ā
As the air settled between you, his breathing evened out, and he leaned forward. Before you could react, Tojiās strong hand cupped your face, pulling you in for a strong, passionate kiss. It was sudden, raw, his lips crashing into yours with the kind of intensity that took your breath away.Ā
His mouth was warm and demanding, and the taste of his. It was making him feel hotter. And it made you hotter that the taste of his juice was being shared between the two of you. It was too good, the heat, salty taste and something uniquely hisāflooded your senses.
You felt a shiver race down your spine as his tongue brushed against your lips, coaxing them apart. Without thinking, you melted into him, letting him take the lead. The way his hand moved from your face to your neck, fingers pressing just enough to make you feel his power, sent your mind spinning. He didnāt give you time to catch your breath, the kiss growing more fervent with each passing second.
When he finally pulled back, both of you gasping for air, his dark, sharp eyes locked onto yours. A smirk curled at the corner of his mouth, and there was something dangerous in his expressionāsomething that made your heart race faster than before.
āMy turn, doll.ā Toji rasped, voice low and gravelly, dripping with intent. His thumb traced your bottom lip, as though marking the spot where his mouth had just been. "You didnāt think Iād just let you have all the fun, did you?"
Before you could respond, his hands were on you, rough but purposeful, guiding you up and onto the couch. His grip was firm as he pressed you down, positioning himself between your legs, eyes dark with hunger. He wasted no timeāthere was no hesitation in his movements, only a primal desire to return everything youād given him moments ago.
Tojiās lips found your neck, trailing hot kisses down to your collarbone. Each kiss, each brush of his lips against your skin sent electric jolts through your body, heightening your senses. He was taking his time now, savoring each second as he moved lower, his breath hot against your chest.
He paused briefly, looking up at you, that same wicked smile playing on his lips. "Relax. Youāre gonna want to enjoy this."
With that, he moved lower, and your breath caught in your throat as his mouth descended. The sensation was immediate, overwhelming. His tongue was slow and deliberate, moving with the kind of precision that had you gripping the edge of the couch within seconds. Your back arched involuntarily, and a soft moan escaped your lips before you could stop it.
"Thatās it." he murmured, the vibrations of his voice against your skin making you tremble. "Let me take care of you."
Tojiās pace was unhurried, savoring the way your body responded to him, but there was a ferocity behind his touch that let you know he wasnāt going to stop until you were completely undone. His hands gripped your thighs, keeping you exactly where he wanted you, his strength evident in every subtle movement.
Each flick of his tongue, each stroke of his lips sent you spiraling, and soon you were lost in the sensation. Your hands found his hair, fingers gripping tightly as you struggled to stay grounded, but it was impossible. Toji was relentless, expertly pushing you further and further, until you were right on the edge, your entire body trembling under his touch.
"Toji," you gasped, your voice breaking as the pleasure built to an almost unbearable intensity. "Iā"
But he didnāt let you finish. Instead, he quickened his pace, his grip on your thighs tightening as he pushed you over that edge. The sensation hit you like a tidal wave, your body shuddering as the pleasure washed over you, leaving you breathless and shaking beneath him.
For a moment, the world went hazy. All you could hear was your own heartbeat, loud and fast in your ears, and the sound of Tojiās deep, steady breathing as he slowly pulled away.
When your vision cleared, he was leaning over you, eyes filled with satisfaction. His lips curled into a familiar smirk as he wiped his mouth, clearly proud of the way he had left you undone. "Told you it was my turn." he teased, his voice smug, but the warmth in his gaze softened the edge.
You couldnāt help but laugh, still trying to catch your breath. "Yeah," you managed to say, voice hoarse. "I think you made your point."
Toji leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to your lips, this time slower, more intimate. "Good." he whispered against your mouth. "Because Iām not done with you yet."
EVERYTHING ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP, IT WASNāT PERFECT. Ā And you always knew that, even in the best of moments. There were times when Zenin Tojiās recklessness frustrated you or when his silence left too much unsaid. But none of that ever seemed to matter in the grand scheme of things.Ā
What mattered was that it was real, and despite the flaws, both of you were genuinely happy. Toji had a way of making life feel effortless, as though the weight of the world didnāt matter when you were with him. His presence made everything feel simple, even when it wasnāt.
For a while, you let yourself believe in that simplicity. You believed that the two of you could live in this uncomplicated, happy bubble forever, like nothing could shake the foundation youād built together. Every laugh, every stolen glance, every spontaneous trip made it easy to forget about the uncertainties that loomed in the background. With Toji, life felt lighter, almost as if the two of you existed in a world separate from everyone elseās struggles and complications.
But then something shifted. It was subtle at first, a creeping unease you couldnāt quite place. Until one day, your world came crashing into focus. You found out you were pregnant.
The moment the test came back positive, the air seemed to leave the room. You sat in the bathroom, staring at the two lines on the test, your mind racing but stuck at the same time. Hours seemed to pass, or maybe just minutes. Time had no meaning at that moment. All you could focus on was the weight of the news in your hands and the way everything suddenly felt heavier, more real, more terrifying than youād ever imagined.
How could this have happened? Sure, you and Toji had been careless at times, but it never seemed like a real possibilityā¦.until now. And now, you were faced with a reality you hadnāt prepared for, a future that felt overwhelmingly uncertain.
You were scared. Not just for yourself, but for Toji too. You had no idea how heād react, and that terrified you even more. He wasnāt exactly the kind of guy who liked to plan or think too far ahead. He thrived on spontaneity, on living in the moment, and the idea of something as permanent and life-altering as a babyā¦ you werenāt sure how heād handle it.
Would he be angry? Dismissive? Or worseāindifferent?
The thought of having that conversation made you feel physically ill. You had played out the scenario a hundred times in your head. Maybe heād shrug it off like it was no big deal, or maybe heād walk out without a second thought. Or maybe heād surprise you, like he had so many times before, and show a side of himself you hadnāt expected. The uncertainty gnawed at you, filling your chest with a kind of dread you hadnāt experienced before.
You spent the next few days trying to find the right moment, the right words, but nothing ever seemed good enough. Each time you looked at him, your throat tightened. Heād catch your gaze, and youād quickly look away, afraid that heād somehow see the truth written all over your face before you were ready to say it out loud.
But it was inevitable. You couldnāt hide it forever, and sooner or later, youād have to face what this meant for both of you. Would it change everything? Could your relationship survive something so monumental? You didnāt know. The only thing you knew for sure was that your world had already shifted, and there was no going back.
That evening, when he came over to your apartment, you were sitting on the couch, your hands clasped together, trying to gather the courage to tell him. Toji sat beside you, noticing your tense posture immediately.
āWhatās going on?ā he asked, his eyes narrowing slightly in concern.
You took a deep breath, your heart racing in your chest. āToji, I need to tell you something.ā
His expression shifted, becoming more serious. āOkay. Whatās up?ā
āIām pregnant.ā The words fell from your lips like stones, sinking into the quiet space between you. You watched his face closely, trying to read his reaction, but it was hard to tell what he was feeling at first. He blinked, his mouth slightly open, as though trying to process the information.
For a long moment, he didnāt say anything. He just stared at you, his mind working behind his eyes. You could see the shock there, the confusion, the disbelief. His silence made your heart pound even harder.
āToji?ā you prompted, your voice barely above a whisper.
He finally exhaled, running a hand through his hair. āAre youā¦ sure?ā
āYeah. Of course I am.ā you nodded, your throat tightening. āI took a test.ā
Another silence stretched between you, the weight of the situation settling in the room. Toji leaned back slightly, his face unreadable as he stared at the floor, his brows furrowed in thought. It wasnāt anger, but it wasnāt joy either. It was something heavier, something more complicated.
āIāā he started, then stopped, shaking his head. āI donāt know what to say.ā
The pit in your stomach deepened. You had known this would be hard, but seeing him so stunned, so lost, was more painful than you had anticipated.
āToji, listenā¦. I justā¦ I already planned this out and I thought about it.ā you said, trying to keep your voice steady. āI donāt want to make this hard on you.ā
He looked up at you then, his eyes sharp, questioning.
āWhat are you saying?ā he asked, his voice low.
You took another breath, already feeling the tears welling up behind your eyes. āIāve been thinking about it. Calmly. Andā¦honestly.ā¦ Iāve decided Iām going to get an abortion.ā
His blueāgreen eyes widened slightly, and for the first time since youād told him, you saw a flicker of something raw, something close to fear in his expression.
āAn abortion?ā he repeated, his voice sounding hollow.
āYeah, I am.ā you nodded, trying to stay composed. āI donāt think weāre ready for this, Toji. I donāt want to complicate your life any more than it needs to be. With your family being rough and everything, I justā¦I donāt want this to add to your life. And I donāt want it to be harder on us, I mean weāre in college with nothing.ā
He was quiet for a long moment, but the tension in his body was palpable. He was thinking, processing, trying to make sense of everything. When he finally spoke again, his voice was firm, but there was something broken underneath it.
āAre youā¦ doing this for me?ā he asked, his jaw clenched. āBecause if you are, donāt.ā
You blinked, startled by the sudden force in his words. āToji, listenā¦ Iām just trying to make it easier for youāā
āNo, no.ā he interrupted, shaking his head. āDonāt make that decision because of me. If you donāt want this, fine. But donāt do it because you think I canāt handle it.ā
You swallowed hard, your heart pounding as the conversation turned heavier than you had anticipated. Toji had never been the type to be openly vulnerable, but there was something in his eyes now, something deeper than shock. It was fear. Not of the pregnancy itself, but of you taking that choice away from him.
āIām not. I promise, Iāmā¦ā you said quietly, your voice trembling. āItās not just about you, Toji. Itās about me too. Weāre not ready for thisāā
āAnd what if we are?ā he cut you off again, his voice strained. āWhat if we could be?ā
You shook your head, tears finally slipping from your eyes. āItās too much. Weāre not even finished with school. I donāt want to mess up your life.ā
Toji reached out, his hand gripping your arm, not hard, but firm enough to make you stop. āYou think this would mess up my life?ā he asked, his eyes searching for yours. āWhat about yours?ā
The question hit you hard. You had been so focused on how Toji would react, on how this would change his future, that you hadnāt fully considered what this meant for you. It wasnāt just his life that would changeāit was yours too. And the truth was, you were terrified of that change.
āI donāt know what to do.ā you whispered, finally letting the fear show in your voice.
Tojiās expression softened, and for the first time since the conversation started, he pulled you into his arms. His grip was strong, steady, like he was trying to anchor you in the chaos of your own emotions.
āWe donāt have to decide everything right now, doll.ā he said softly, his voice close to your ear. āBut donāt do this just because you think itās the right thing for me.ā
You closed your eyes, resting your head against his chest, letting the weight of his words sink in. You didnāt know what the future held, or what the right decision was. All you knew was that, for the first time in a long while, you werenāt facing this alone.
IT WAS A FEW WEEKS LATER.Ā Zenin Toji sat in the crowded cafeteria, only half-aware of the conversation around him. The buzz of his classmates discussing internships, upcoming exams, and their futures faded into the background as he absentmindedly poked at his food.Ā
His thoughts were elsewhere, drifting between the monotony of the day and the feeling that something wasnāt quite right. It had been a few days since he last saw you, but with finals and the usual chaos of student life, it wasnāt unusual. He figured you were busy, like everyone else.
But then a group of your friends approached. Their faces were drawn with concern, their eyes darting nervously around the room as they stopped in front of him. Toji barely registered their presence at first, his mind still elsewhere, until one of them spoke up.
āToji, hey.ā her voice was soft but edged with worry. āHave you seen her?ā
He frowned, snapping back to the present. āWhat are you talking about? Who?ā
āHer. You knowā¦ā she repeated, her words hitting a little harder this time. āYour girlfriend. Sheās not in her dorm, and we havenāt seen her around campus. She dropped out, Toji. The professors said she withdrew from all her classes.ā
The fork in his hand froze mid-air, his breath hitching as the words landed with a gut-wrenching thud. Dropped out? You? No. That couldnāt be right. You hadnāt mentioned anything about dropping out or even considering it. The last time you spoke, everything seemed normalāat least as normal as it had been lately. But this? It didnāt make sense. It wasnāt like you to just disappear, especially not without saying anything to him.
Tojiās chest tightened, panic swelling beneath the surface, though he tried to mask it with his usual composed demeanor. āWhat?ā he asked, his voice sharper than intended, laced with disbelief. āWhat do you mean she dropped out?ā
āI donāt know..ā one of your friends replied, her own uncertainty mirroring his. āSheās justā¦ gone. We checked everywhereāher dorm, the library, even the places she liked to hang out. Sheās not answering her phone. And when we talked to the professors, they confirmed it. She withdrew from all her classes yesterday.ā
His heart pounded in his chest, a sinking feeling spreading through him. Gone. The word echoed in his mind, heavy and suffocating. None of this made any sense. He thought back to the last few times you were together, searching for any clue, any sign that you were planning something like this. But nothing stood out. You had been a little distant lately, maybe, but you always brushed it off as stress from school.
The thought of you leaving without saying a word, of just vanishing from his life like that, was like a punch to the gut. Toji wasnāt used to feeling powerless, but right now, thatās exactly what he felt. He had no control, no idea what was going on, and the uncertainty of it all gnawed at him like a vicious storm.
āDid sheā¦ did she say anything to any of you?ā he asked, his voice rougher now, desperate for some kind of explanation. āAnything about why sheād do this?ā
Your friends exchanged uncertain glances, but none of them had answers. One of them finally spoke, shaking her head. āNo, she didnāt say anything. Sheās been quiet lately, but we didnāt think she was planning to leave like this.ā
Quiet. Distant. It all started to add up, piece by piece. You had been pulling away, hadnāt you? It was subtle, barely noticeable at first, but now, in hindsight, it seemed so clear. Tojiās mind raced with possibilitiesāwas this about the pregnancy?Ā
Did you feel like you couldnāt tell him? Did you think he wouldnāt want this? His stomach twisted at the thought. He wasnāt the best at dealing with emotions, but if you had come to him, if you had just told himā¦ he wouldāve figured it out with you.
He pushed away from the table, standing up abruptly, his heart racing. āIām going to find her.ā
āTojiāā one of your friends began, but he was already moving, his mind set. He had to find you, had to understand what had driven you to this decision. Whatever was going on, he needed answersāneeded to hear it from you.
Because the idea of losing you, of you walking out of his life without even a word, was something he wasnāt prepared to face.
Without a second thought, Toji pushed his chair back, standing up abruptly. His classmates glanced at him, startled, but he barely registered their reactions. His phone was already in his hand, and he started dialing your number as he made his way out of the cafeteria, his steps quick and purposeful.
The ringing on the other end felt like it lasted forever. His heart pounded harder with each unanswered ring, his mind racing with questions. Why hadnāt you told him? Why had you left?
Finally, you picked up.
āToji.ā you said quietly, your voice strained, almost like you had been expecting this call but had dreaded answering it.
āWhere the hell are you?ā he asked, trying and failing to keep the frustration and panic out of his voice. āYour friends came up to me. They said you dropped out. Whatās going on?ā
There was a pause, a heavy silence on the other end, before you finally answered.
āI left.ā you said softly.
āWhat do you mean you left?ā His voice was sharper now, disbelief and anger mixing together. āWhy didnāt you tell me?ā
āI couldnāt.ā you replied, your tone distant, guarded.
āCouldnāt?ā Toji repeated, his frustration growing. āYou just decided to leave without saying anything? Thatās it? Thatās your explanation?ā
You were quiet for a moment, and Toji could hear the sound of your breathing on the other end. His footsteps echoed in the empty hallway as he made his way toward your dorm, his pace quickening. He could feel it, somethingās not right. And he didnāt like it. He didnāt like this.
āI justā¦ I canāt do this anymore, Toji.ā you finally said, your voice cracking, though you were trying hard to keep it steady.
His chest tightened at your words. āWhat are you talking about? Canāt do what? Weāre supposed to figure this out together!ā
āI donāt want to make things harder for you.ā you said, your voice soft and strained. āI donāt want you to feel trapped.ā
Toji stopped in his tracks, standing just outside your dorm. His hand was already on the door, but he couldnāt bring himself to knock. āTrapped?ā His voice was low now, disbelief coating every word. āYou think I feel trapped?ā
āYou deserve more than this, Toji.ā you said, your tone hollow. āMore than me. I canāt keep doing this to you.ā
āTo me?ā His voice grew louder again, anger mixing with the hurt that was now undeniable. āYou think leaving without a word, without even trying to talk to me about it, is making things easier? You think this is what I want?ā
Another silence stretched between you, the weight of his words hanging in the air.
āI canāt do it anymore, Toji.ā you repeated, your voice more final this time. āI canāt doā¦ us.ā
Tojiās hand clenched into a fist, his knuckles turning white as he leaned his head against the door, trying to hold back the surge of emotions that threatened to overwhelm him. He had never been good with feelings, never been good at expressing what was going on inside his head, but thisāthis was different. This was you.
āWhy?ā he asked, his voice raw, the hurt finally slipping through the cracks in his defenses. āTell me why. I thought we were in this together.ā
Your breath hitched on the other end of the line, and Toji knew you were trying to hold back tears. āIām sorry.ā you whispered, your voice barely audible. āBut I have to do this. Iām breaking up with you, Toji.ā
His stomach dropped. He had heard the words, but they didnāt feel real. Not yet. Not when you were still on the other end of the line, not when he was standing outside your door.
āDonāt do this, doll.ā he said, his voice low and pleading now. āWe can figure it out. Whatever it is, we can fix it. You donāt have to run.ā
But you didnāt answer. The silence on the other end grew heavier, suffocating, until it became clear what you were doing.
āYouāre really doing this?ā Toji asked, his voice thick with disbelief. āYouāre just leaving?ā
āIām sorry, Toji.ā you whispered again, and then the line went dead.
He stood there, the phone still pressed against his ear, the empty dial tone ringing in his mind. You were gone. You had left, just like that. The weight of it all hit him at onceāthe pregnancy, the future you both had avoided talking about, the life that had suddenly unraveled in a single moment.
For the first time in a long while,Ā Zenin Toji felt lost.
HE BLINKED AND IT WAS THE FUTURE. Years had passed since that fateful conversation, and life had unfolded in unexpected ways for Zenin Toji. He had poured himself into his work, rising through the ranks to become a top engineer at his company. His days were filled with projects and deadlines, and while the ache of the past lingered in the back of his mind, he had learned to compartmentalize it.
He was dating someone new now, a woman who brought laughter and light into his life. They shared quiet dinners, spontaneous weekend trips, and plans for a future that felt bright and hopeful. Toji had learned to enjoy the moments, to savor the present without the weight of what could have been pulling him down.
But one afternoon, as he was wrapping up a meeting, his phone rang. The name on the screen made his stomach drop: it was one of your old friends.
He answered, his tone casual. āHey, whatās up?ā
The silence on the other end was heavy, laden with a gravity that sent a chill down his spine. āTojiā¦ I need to talk to you. Itās about uhā¦.her.ā
The way she said your name made his heart race, an instinctual dread creeping in. āWhat about her?ā he asked, his voice tightening. It has been years. Years since heās heard your name. Years since that feeling of the sea wallowed its way into his heart. You. The very thought of you was spring, endless spring. āWhat happened?ā
Another pause. āSheā¦ she passed away.ā
The words hit him like a physical blow, knocking the breath from his lungs. āWhat?ā he managed to stammer, disbelief flooding his mind. āWhat do you mean, passed away?ā
āShe had an accident. It was sudden. Iām so sorry, Toji.ā
He felt the world tilt on its axis, the room around him blurring as the shock set in. āNo, no, that canāt be right.ā he said, shaking his head as if the motion could change the reality. āWhen? How?ā
āWe donāt have all the details about it yet.ā she said softly, her voice trembling with emotion. āBut I thought you should know. She had some friends overā¦ and then it happened, after they all left. Thereās suspicion that it was an accidental drug overdose, medication. Um, but weāre not sure if thatās true. Becauseā¦sheād tell us, if she was sick.ā
The words began to sink in, but they felt surreal, detached from reality. How could this be happening? You had once been a part of his life, and nowā¦ now you were gone. The memories surged backāyour laughter, the way your eyes lit up when you spoke about music, the softness in your voice when you told him you were leaving.
āIā¦ I need to go.ā he said, his voice shaking. āI need to be there.ā
āAre you okay?ā she asked, concern echoing in her tone. āToji, breathe.ā
But Toji couldnāt respond. He ended the call, the weight of what he had just heard pressing down on him like a suffocating blanket. He stared at the wall, his thoughts racing, heart pounding. Everything he had built, the life he had created, suddenly felt meaningless in the face of this loss. All shattered. Both the past, the present and future ā all at once, dying.
He stood up, feeling unsteady, as if the ground beneath him had vanished. The world outside his office window looked the same, but everything felt differentābleak, muted, and empty.
Without thinking, he grabbed his jacket and left the office, his mind a whirlpool of memories and emotions. He could hardly focus on the road as he drove, the city blurring past him. All he could think about was youāwhat you had meant to him, the moments they shared, the unfinished conversations that hung in the air.
When he finally arrived at the location your friend sent, everything about the scene was somber, filled with familiar faces that had once been part of your life. He made his way through the gathering, his heart heavy in his chest. He saw your friends, their faces drawn with grief, and the realization hit him like a wave: you were really gone.
Zenin Toji found a quiet corner, his back pressed against a wall, as the reality settled in. The laughter and joy he had learned to embrace felt like a betrayal now. You should have been here, sharing these moments, navigating life together, just as you once had.
As he stood there, memories flooded backāmoments of joy, of connection, of love. And in that instant, he understood that he would always carry a part of you with him, a lingering ache that would never truly fade.
The world moved on around him, but Toji felt frozen in place, grappling with the loss of someone who had shaped him in ways he had never acknowledged until now. And in that moment, he knew that no matter how much time passed, he would never forget you.
Toji stood at the edge of the gathering, the atmosphere heavy with sorrow and disbelief. The small chapel was filled with familiar faces, all of them grieving the loss of you, and he felt an ache deep in his chest as he took in the scene. Your family stood near the front, your mother clutching a bouquet of flowers, her eyes red and swollen from crying. Your father stood beside her, a stoic figure trying to hold it all together.
As the service progressed, Tojiās gaze wandered, and he noticed a young boy standing close to your mother. The child couldnāt have been more than five or six, his small frame almost dwarfed by the adults around him. He had dark tousled hair and bright, green ā blue eyes echoing with curiosity that seemed to scan the room, searching for somethingāor someone.
Tojiās heart dropped as he took a closer look. The boy had a striking resemblance to him. It was subtle but unmistakableāthe shape of his face, the curve of his lips, and the way he tilted his head when he looked around. The realization hit him hard, like a punch to the gut.
Just then, the boy moved toward your casket, his tiny hands reaching out to touch the smooth wood. As though he wanted to stroke your face with the warmth of a thousand suns. Toji felt a surge of instinct, wanting to protect the child from this pain, but before he could react, a white-haired man stepped in. With an air of calm authority, he gently scooped the boy into his arms, pulling him away from the somber sight.
Tojiās breath caught in his throat as he recognized the manāGojo Satoru, a familiar figure from your past. He was your friend in college too. Protege, in the science department. He was a chief mourner today. The very presence of him felt like a ghost, both comforting and painful. He had always known Gojo Satoru to be a charismatic enigma, with his goofy smile and unserious eyes. But now his demeanor was serious, focused on the child in his arms.
āHey, little guy.ā Gojo said softly, kneeling down to the boy's level, his voice a soothing balm against the surrounding grief. āLetās give her some space, okay?ā
The boy looked up at Gojo, confusion etched on his young face. āBut I want to say goodbye to my mama.ā he said, his voice small and tremulous.
Toji felt his heart clench. Who was this child? Why did he look so much like him? Was he reallyā¦?
āLetās remember her in a different way.ā Gojo suggested gently, still holding the boy close. āWe can share stories about how amazing she was, okay?ā
The child seemed to consider this, his brows furrowing in thought. Toji felt an urge to move closer, to find out everything he could about this boy, but he was rooted to the spot, unable to tear his gaze away.
As Gojo began to lead the boy away from the casket, the child turned back one last time, his wide eyes filled with innocence and sorrow. āI miss her already. I miss my mama already.ā he whispered, and Tojiās heart shattered at the sound of those words.
He watched as Gojo knelt down again, whispering something in the boyās ear. Whatever it was, it made the childās face light up with a fleeting smile, and for a moment, Toji felt a flicker of hope. Perhaps this boy could carry on a part of youāyour spirit, your laughter, your love.
But the reality of the situation crashed over him once more. You were gone, and this child, whom he instinctively felt a connection to, was a reminder of everything that had been lost.
Toji took a step forward, the urge to reach out to the boy overwhelming him. He had to know. āExcuse me.ā he said, his voice cutting through the murmur of the gathering, his eyes locked on Gojo and the boy. āWho is he?ā
Gojo looked up, surprise flickering in his gaze before a knowing look settled in. āThis is your son, Toji,ā he said gently. āHeās her child. Your child.ā
The words hung in the air like a weight, and Toji felt the ground shift beneath him. He had a son? The realization was like a tidal wave crashing over him, overwhelming and disorienting. All the moments he had missed, the life he hadnāt known he hadāeverything rushed to the surface, leaving him gasping for breath.
āI didnāt knowā¦.Iā¦.ā he murmured, the words barely escaping his lips. āI didnāt know I had a sonā¦ā
Gojo nodded, his expression softening. āShe wanted to tell you, but things got complicated. She loved you, Toji. She always did.ā
The ache in Tojiās chest deepened, a mixture of regret and longing flooding through him. He wanted to reach out to the boy, to embrace him and promise to be there, to make up for all the lost time. But he felt frozen, unsure of how to bridge this sudden chasm between them.
The boy turned to look at him, his innocent eyes searching, and in that moment, Toji knew he couldnāt turn away. He took a step forward, his heart pounding, ready to face the truth of his past and embrace the future, whatever it might hold.
Toji took a deep breath, his mind racing as he processed the weight of everything Gojo had just revealed. āWho are you, exactly? To her.ā he asked, his voice steadier than he felt. āWhy are you here with him?ā
Gojo regarded him with a measured gaze, a mix of understanding and sympathy etched across his features. āIām Satoru Gojo, her ex.ā he began, his tone calm yet heavy with unspoken history. āWe had our time together, but she broke up with me to focus on raising himāMegumi.ā He paused, his expression shifting slightly, as if weighing his next words. āButā¦ I helped out when she started to suffer from her illness. Weā¦weĀ also worked together.ā
The revelation hit Toji like a punch to the gut. It was hard to hear that you had suffered, and he couldnāt fathom how you had faced such a struggle. You have always been so vibrant, so full of life. The image of you laughing by the sea, dreaming about the future, felt so far removed from the harsh reality of illness. How could this happen? How could you be dead? The thought churned in his stomach, leaving him feeling hollow and lost.
He felt a wave of panic and disbelief. You had been taken away from your son. From Toji. It was like that againājust when he had thought he was on the cusp of something beautiful and real, everything crumbled. You had left him once more, not by choice this time, but by fateās cruel hand.
āWhy didnāt I know?ā Tojiās voice was barely a whisper, laced with frustration and sorrow. āWhy didnāt anyone tell me?ā
Gojoās eyes softened with empathy. āShe wanted to protect you, Toji. You had a life too. She thought that by keeping her distance, she could spare you the pain. She didnāt want you to feel trapped by her son and her illness. It was incurable, all there could be was maintenance. Soā¦she thought it would be better to leave before the damage was done.ā
Trapped. The word stung. He had always wanted to be there for you, to share the burdens and the joys. āBut I would have wanted to be a part of it, for bitter or worse.ā he replied, his voice trembling. āI could have helped. I could have been there for both of you.ā
Gojo nodded, understanding the turmoil in Tojiās heart. āShe knew that, but she was scaredāscared of what her illness would do to you and to Megumi. She wanted to give him a chance at a life free from that burden. It was a hard choice, but she thought it was the right one.ā
The realization crashed over Toji like a wave. You had made that decision alone, believing it was the best thing for your son. And now, that choice has cost you your life. Anguish twisted inside him, and he felt a growing anger not towards you, but towards the circumstances that had taken you away.
How could it be fair? How could the universe allow such a beautiful spirit to slip away while leaving behind a child who would now grow up without knowing his mother?
Toji felt as if the air had been sucked from his lungs. The name hit him like a jolt, reverberating through him in a way he hadnāt anticipated. āMegumi.ā he repeated softly, the sound wrapping around his heart like a lifeline.Ā
It was the name you had once discussed with such warmth and hope while watching the waves crash against the shore, dreaming of what could be if you ever started a family together. The memory came flooding backāthe laughter, the carefree joy of that day, and the vivid images of a future that felt so tangible then.
āYeah, she loved that name.ā Toji murmured, his voice thick with emotion. āI did too.ā
He struggled to hold back tears, remembering how your eyes sparkled when you spoke about having a family, the way you imagined little Megumi running along the beach, chasing after waves with unabashed joy. That dream had felt so real, and now it felt like a cruel joke, a glimpse of what might have been.
Gojo nodded, his gaze steady. āShe was a great mom, Toji. Megumi was her whole world. She did everything she could to raise him right, even when things got tough.ā
The weight of those words settled heavily on Tojiās heart. āWhat happened to her?ā he asked, his voice trembling. He needed to know; he had to understand how it had come to this.
āHeart disease.ā Gojo replied, a shadow of sadness crossing his face. āGiving birth to Megumi made it worse, but sheā¦she thinks Megumi was the best thing in her life. Her treasure in the sea, she calls him.ā
Gojoās words hung heavy in the air, the weight of them settling deep in Tojiās chest. He could feel the slow, painful collapse of his heart as the reality of the situation set in. The woman he once cared for, the mother of his son, had been struggling in silence all this time, carrying the burden of her illness alone while he lived his life, unaware. The thought gnawed at him, twisting the guilt deeper into his soul.
āShe never regretted it,ā Gojo continued, his voice steady but soft. āShe said you had a good life. And she did too, despite everything. She wanted to make sure Megumi had the best, and she gave him all the love she could.ā
Toji clenched his jaw, fighting against the flood of emotions surging inside him. Anger, sorrow, regretāit all mixed together into a tight knot in his chest. He felt sick with it, sick with the thought that while he was out there, living his life without a care, she had been suffering. And she hadnāt reached out to him. Hadnāt told him how bad things were. Sheād shouldered it all on her own.
āBut why didnāt she reach out to me?ā Tojiās voice trembled, his words barely above a whisper. He needed to know. He needed to understand why sheād kept him in the dark. āI couldāve helpedā¦ I wouldāve done something. Anything.ā
Gojoās gaze softened, sympathy shining in his eyes. āShe didnāt want to burden you. Thatās what she always said. You had your own life, your own path. She didnāt want you to feel tied down by everything she was going through.ā
Tojiās hands clenched into fists at his sides, frustration boiling just beneath the surface. He wanted to scream, to curse the universe for being so cruel. How could she have thought he wouldnāt want to help? How could she have carried that weight alone?
Gojo sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, his expression solemn. āShe never saw it as a sacrifice, Toji. In her eyes, you both lived your lives as you were meant to. She loved Megumi with everything she had, and she believed she made the right choice by not involving you. It was her way of protecting you, even if it meant doing it on her own.ā
āTo protect me?ā Toji muttered bitterly, his chest tightening even more. The thought of her enduring so much pain while thinking she was doing it for his sake felt unbearable. āBut it wasnāt just about me. I had a right to knowā¦ Megumiās my son, too. I shouldāve been there for him. For her.ā
āI know,ā Gojo said quietly, his tone gentle but firm. āBut in her mind, this was the best way. She wanted you to live your life freely. No regrets, no guilt. And in the end, she did what she thought was best for Megumi.ā
Tojiās heart ached at those words. The image of her, alone with Megumi, doing her best to raise him while struggling with an illness that had only worsened over the yearsāit was too much to bear. He couldnāt shake the feeling of helplessness that clung to him, the overwhelming regret of not knowing, not being there when they needed him most.
āShe called him her treasure in the sea,ā Gojo added softly. āHe was her everything.ā
Toji swallowed hard, his throat tight. āAnd now what?ā he asked, his voice strained. āWhat happens to Megumi now?ā
Gojoās gaze was steady, full of understanding. āNow, itās your turn, Toji. Megumi needs you. You might not have been there before, but you can be there now.ā
The gravity of Gojoās words hit him like a tidal wave. Megumi was his responsibility now. His son. And no matter how much he regretted the past, he couldnāt change it. All he could do was move forward and be the father Megumi needed.
Tojiās heart felt heavy, but amidst the pain and regret, a flicker of resolve began to grow. He couldnāt undo what had happened, but he wouldnāt let his son down. Not again.
āIāll be there for him. Iā¦.I will be there, just like she was.ā Toji whispered, more to himself than to Gojo. āI wonāt let him go through this alone.ā
Gojo nodded, his expression softening. āThatās all she ever wanted.ā
āMegumiā¦.Iā¦.ā Toji whispered, a smile breaking through the haze of grief. āI never knewā¦ā His voice trailed off, choked with emotion.
Gojo watched him intently, gauging his reaction. āYou can get to know him, Toji. You can be part of his life if you want. He deserves to know his father.ā
Toji felt a rush of determination mixed with fear. āI want to be there for him. I want to be part of his life,ā he said, his voice firm. āBut how do I do that? How do I even begin?ā
Gojo stepped back, giving Toji space while still keeping Megumi close. āYou take it one step at a time. Start by introducing yourself. He needs to see that you care.ā
Toji looked at Megumi, who was now watching him with wide, innocent eyes, curiosity mixing with uncertainty. It felt surreal, being in this momentāa chance to connect with the child he never knew existed.
āHey, Megumi.ā he said softly, kneeling down to the boyās level. āIām Toji. Iām yourā¦ father.ā
The boyās gaze flickered between Gojo and Toji, processing the words. āFather?ā he echoed, his voice small and hesitant.
āYeah.ā Toji said, his heart racing. āI didnāt know about you until today, but I promise I want to be here for you. I want to know you.ā
Megumiās expression shifted, uncertainty still lingering, but there was a flicker of something elseāhope? Curiosity? Toji couldnāt tell, but he felt compelled to keep talking. āYour mom and I talked about you once, you know. We dreamed about what it would be like to have a family. We even picked your name together.ā
At the mention of your name, Megumiās eyes brightened a little. āMom loved me?ā he asked, his voice small but filled with longing.
Toji nodded, feeling tears prick at the corners of his eyes. āMore than anything. She thought you were the most special person in the world.ā
Gojo watched the exchange, a subtle smile of encouragement on his face, and for the first time, Toji felt a sense of connection to this boy. A connection that reached beyond the pain and the past, into a future that was now possible.
āCan we talk about her?ā Megumi asked, his small voice filled with the innocence of a child who wanted to keep your memory alive.
āOf course.ā Toji replied, his heart swelling with affection. āWe can talk about her all day. She was amazing, Megumi. And I want to share all the stories with you.ā
As they stood there, the weight of loss began to shift, creating space for something newāa tentative bond that could grow into something meaningful. Toji knew it would take time, but he felt a flicker of hope ignite within him.
āIām here now.ā Toji said, looking deep into Megumiās eyes. āAnd Iām not going anywhere.ā
EVERYTHING HAD BEEN A WHIRLWIND.Ā Fushiguro Tojiās life changed in ways he never anticipated. The news of your passing was like a shockwave, reshaping his world overnight. He left his family. He broke up with his girlfriend. He changed his last name to match yours and Megumi, after he had asked your parents. He needed to focus on raising Megumi. Like you would have wanted. Like it should have been.Ā
Taking on the responsibility of being Megumiās father was daunting. Every day brought new challenges and revelations. Toji found himself learning how to care for a child, adjusting to late-night feedings and school projects, and discovering the joy of small victoriesālike Megumiās laughter during playtime or the pride in his eyes when he accomplished something new.Ā
Yet, amid the routine of parenting, there was a void that lingered deep within him. He wasnāt over you. He never had been. Memories of you flooded his mindāyour laughter, the way your eyes sparkled when you talked about the future, the dreams you had shared together. It felt like a cruel twist of fate that he now held the title of father while grappling with the reality that you were gone.
Every time he looked at Megumi, he saw pieces of youāthe way he scrunched his nose when he concentrated, the softness of his smile, and the kindness in his heart. Toji often found himself reminiscing about those conversations you had on the beach, envisioning the life you had both dreamed of. It hurt to think of the family that could have been, the moments that would never materialize.
Despite the pain, he pushed forward. For Megumiās sake, he channeled his grief into being the best father he could be. He read parenting books, reached out for advice, and did his best to create a stable home filled with warmth and love. He wanted Megumi to feel secure, to know that he was cherished and valued.Ā
But as the days turned into weeks and then months, the ache of your absence remained a constant companion. Toji would often catch himself staring out at the ocean, remembering the life you envisioned together, and it struck him anew how unfair it all felt. You had left too soon, and now he was left to navigate the complexities of fatherhood alone, always carrying a piece of your heart with him.
The sea stretched out before them, the rhythmic crash of waves against the shore filling the air with a soothing melody. Toji stood at the edge of the water, the salty breeze brushing through his hair as he watched Megumi run ahead, his small figure framed against the vast expanse of the ocean. The boyās quiet demeanor softened in the presence of the sea, a faint smile tugging at his lips as he bent down to pick up a shell, the sunlight catching in his dark hair.
Tojiās heart tightened as he watched him, an unexpected flood of emotions surging through him. This was your placeāthe sea. You had always talked about how peaceful it made you feel, how the endless horizon made everything seem possible. He remembered the times youād come here together, how youād sit by the water, your laughter carried away by the wind. And now, here he was, with your sonāhis sonāstanding in the same place you had once loved.
He raised the camera in his hands, snapping a picture of Megumi as the boy turned toward him, holding up the shell in his hand as if to show it to him. Toji couldnāt help but smile, his heart swelling with a warmth he hadnāt felt in a long time. There was something about Megumi in this moment, something in his quiet curiosity, the way his eyes softened as he gazed at the sea, that reminded him so much of you.
It hit him like a waveāhow much of you lived in Megumi. Not just in his looks, but in his spirit. The calm, quiet strength, the way he approached the world with a sense of wonder, but always with his guard up. You had given Megumi more than just life; you had given him a piece of your heart, a piece of the love you had carried for both of them.
Toji took another picture, capturing the way the light danced across Megumiās face, the way the sea reflected in his eyes. And for a moment, he could see youāstanding there beside him, your laughter mingling with the sound of the waves, your hand resting gently on his shoulder.
He lowered the camera, his gaze softening as he watched Megumi return to the waterās edge. He was beginning to understand now, the words you had left behind, the meaning of what you had called Megumiāyour treasure in the sea. It wasnāt just about the boy himself, but what he represented. The love you had for him, the love you had for Toji, even if life had taken you down separate paths.
Megumi was that love. He was the bridge between you and Toji, the one thing that connected them both, even after you were gone.
Toji closed his eyes, taking in the sound of the sea, letting it wash over him. For so long, he had been angry, filled with regret for not being there when you needed him most. But now, standing here with Megumi, he realized that you hadnāt left him behind. You had left him something more precious than anything elseāthe love you shared, alive in your son.
As Megumi looked back at him, the shell still in his hand, Toji smiled. He walked toward him, crouching down to meet the boyās gaze.
āYou know,ā Toji said, his voice soft, āyour mom used to say you were her treasure in the sea.ā
Megumi blinked, tilting his head slightly. āWhat does that mean?ā
Toji reached out, brushing a strand of hair from Megumiās face. āIt means she loved you more than anything. She saw something special in you, something worth holding onto. And she was right.ā
Megumi looked down at the shell in his hand, turning it over thoughtfully. āDo you miss her?ā
Tojiās chest tightened, the familiar ache of loss rising to the surface. But for the first time in a long while, it didnāt feel so overwhelming. He glanced back at the sea, the horizon stretching out endlessly, just like the love that still connected them.
āYeah,ā Toji admitted, his voice thick with emotion. āI do. But you know what? I see her in you. Every day.ā
Megumiās eyes widened slightly, and he gave a small nod, as if trying to absorb the weight of his fatherās words. They stood there in silence for a moment, the gentle sound of the waves filling the space between them. Toji pulled out the camera once more, capturing one last pictureāMegumi standing at the shore, his small frame against the endless sea, the shell still clutched in his hand.
At that moment, Toji understood. Megumi was not just your treasure; he was your treasure. The love that both of you had poured into him, the love that endured, even when everything else had changed.
And now, standing beside his son, Fushiguro Toji felt something he hadnāt felt in a long time.
The peace only you could give him.
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#jujutsu kaisen x y/n#toji zenin#jujutsu kaisen toji#toji zenin x reader#toji zenin x you#toji zenin smut#zenin toji x reader#fushiguro toji x you#fushiguro toji x reader#toji fushiguro x reader#toji fushiguro x you#toji x reader#toji x you#toji x y/n#toji x self insert#toji smut#toji fushiguro smut#toji x reader smut#jjk x reader smut#fushiguro toji smut#jjk toji x reader#toji angst#megumi fushiguro
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[Image ID: screenshot of a tumblr poll from a popular smash or pass blog. 'Pass' is at 88% with 2798 votes and 4 days 22 hours left. Testimony in defense of a character reads "Man's got six tentadicks, is all but explicitly stated to be bisexual in canon, and serves ungodly levels of cunt." End ID.]
[Image ID: tags in a reblog of the poll. They read as follows: #To all the people passing after this testimony #What is wrong with you? #I think it really shows that even the monsterfucker website has been infected by conventional standards of beauty. End ID.]
Finally, somebody went OFF in the tags and hit the nail right on the head. This site full of monsterfuckers and alienfuckers will thirst all over characters with non-conventional/non-human genitals until said character is fat, at which point it loops back around to 'ew no.' It really does say a lot about this site that despite its userbase being largely young and leftist, far too many people who very enthusiastically eroticize the Other draw the line at fatness- something that though not inherently monstrous or inhuman, still too often lies outside cultural norms.
I regret to inform you that my fave is getting bodied again in another poll
#i mean i do get that there's other aesthetic details people might not be able to get past (the hair)#but my point still stands#this is not the first time i've noticed that pattern but polls like this make it really fucking clear#i could write an entire essay on this character alone and how important fat politics is in his character and portrayal#because even if it's not apparent in the show his actor's body image issues are vital in contextualizing how he's depicted!#in-universe he's one of the hottest characters on the show and he's fat!#not but or despite being fat#he's hot AND fat#anyway... if you'd fuck a monster or alien but go 'ew' when fat people exist (or dare to be hot in your presence!) you have some work to do#i mean it#i could seriously talk about this all day. will probably come back with more thoughts later.#londarling#body politics
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NSFW How to Gain the trust of a Dragon in the Dragons Den, Guide 02
PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART ?
NOTICE; TOP/SWITCH Male Hybrid Reader
CHARACTER; BOTTOM/SUB Price, BOTTOM/SWITCH Soap,
CW; Threesome, slight choking? Hella horny dragon, body worship, praise, face sitting, fingering, ass eating, cock suckin' shit like that.
ADDITIONAL; I don't mind Fem/Fem aligned readers reading but don't feel insulted/complain that I strictly don't do Fem reader, not my cuppa tea mate.
INSPIRATION; @/Bluegiragi Monster AU on Twt and Tumblr & @/thegnomelord for the scale idea on tumblr.
NOTE; Accidentally posted the draft... | This will be a mini series staring our favorite little hybrids. Part ? Will be a poll of a repeat character or a non 141 character.
As Price paced outside the office, the temptation to peek behind that imposing door grew stronger. His hybrid instincts nudged him toward curiosity, but his rationality warned against it. He wasn't your mate. Not Soap's either. He'd be a prick if he suddenly barged in purely because he was a horny dragon, he hasn't felt the urge for a proper mate for years, but it was uncommon for species to crossbreed, or to even have packs, or other mates then one that weren't of the same species.
Yet, there was something magnetic about the possibilityāa pull he couldn't quite resist. The thought flickered in his mind like a distant flame, leaving him torn between his innate curiosity and the risk.
And despite the gentle reach of his claw near the door, he didn't. He was old. Older then most of you, who would dare date a dragon of his age? Even people of his kind preferred dragons who could keep up with them, not groan at a sudden back pain or a weak knee. Nor the crowfeet on his eyes, signs of age in his face. His body was not as strong as in his younger days, and well, his stomach. It had a lot more pudge to it, something he'd never openly admit.
The following day, despite his position as captain, Price found himself stealing more glances at you and Soap, your little cuddles during lunch, or the way your tails intertwined. The soft cooing and purrs left to each other left him with want, tugging at the fringes of his thoughts. He couldn't shake off the inexplicable allure it held, even though he knew his authority wouldn't grant him it.
As he maneuvered through his duties, his mind kept circling back to you. He questioned his own reluctance to simply talk to you, push the conversation open. It wasn't about rules or permissions; it was a deeper, primal restraint holding him back, a fear of the unknown that clashed with his innate curiosity.
Yet, when he came back to his desk later that evening, he saw a small pile of, to what to most, would seem as mindless trinkets, was actually an abundance of jewels, some of his favorite coffee, tea, and a make shift.. Scale? No. That wouldn't make sense. He could recognize it as yours and Soap's fur. In the shape of a scale.
Were you lads trying to court him? A deep rumble erupted from his chest as he gently held up the item to his nose, his wings relaxing at the mixed scent. The scent of a mate, his instincts whispered. And he couldn't help but agree.
Tucking away the items he placed them in a small box on his shelf full of items he hoarded before. He couldn't have a huge hoard, so he did what he could. And turned the scale shaped fur, into a necklace he could wear on his chest. Closest to his heart. For he knew they had won it already.
It was the next day where you and Soap were idly chatting, he sat down infront of you, and slid over a scale cut perfectly down the middle for you two. You both easily looked up in shock, mouths open. "Wha- Cap'n- Does this mean-" Soap sputtered, and you were still quiet with your jaw still wide open.
"It does. Means it quite bloody clearly, Soap." He replies almost shyly, his firm voice is softened with love and affection as he smiles. Those beautiful crow lines appear once more and the sight of both of your tails swaying happily is a tell-tale sign hes done the right choice.
He's quick to get back up, walking to the door before stopping and turning back to say; "My room, at nine exactly. Alright?"
You're both quick to say yes and despite his cool demeanor as he leaves, Price feels hard as a rock as the first blooms of heat start back in his stomach. A feeling he hasn't felt in ages, but that can wait for later tonight. He wouldn't be a captain without all that self-discipline, after all.
So its when Price comes to the dark of his room, a little worn out, he surprised to suddenly see a nest, and you and Soap sitting on his bed with only the moon light to illuminate your features. And coo he does because he melts at the sight that you both waited for him.
You're the first to pull him in with a grin, your tail wrapping around his waist as you and Soap are quick to strip him down until hes left in a shirt and boxers. But hes quick to push you down onto your back in the nest as he sits on your lap, Soap he behind Price, kissing down his back as his tail wags.
But as you look up at Price, he looks like a beauty, and your hand gently traces down from his chin, to his toned yet supple and beautifuy scared chest, to his stomach, caressing the pudge as you whisper praise. And it. Makes Prices face burn with pride at the fact someone accepts him and his appearance, something he didn't think he'd be self conscious on.
Soap continues quick and sloppy kisses up his back, leaving soft nips and bites on him, leaving it mostly betweem you and Price. He loves both of you but you had both discussed the idea before. You wanted to pamper Price, and make him feel higher then cloud 9.
And you did, each kiss, and bite, began to switch as Price was switched around by Soap. And you easily pulled Price's hips towards you and kissed his ass, making Price groan in response. The sound cut short as Soap began to kiss him, stroking your cock in the meantime to keep you satisfied as well. It was his turn to assist.
"Fuck- Price- So fuckin' pretty for us." Soap groans out to price, and you can only agree, pressing kisses up his neck as his tail makes soft noises against the nest as it wags aggressively against it.
Price only moans a little, his hips still bucking into your mouth as your tongue is quick, and perfectly long enough to reach deep into him inside, his dragoh tail is quick to curl around your neck and slightly squeeze lovingly. The way you and Soap praise Price and his body makes him melt. Hes an old lad, scales of iron from how the world has hardened him and yet you make him so soft.
So loved.
So accepted.
He thought he was content with 141 but knowing that two of the members in it are his mates? He can only purr.
Its when Soap slides down and suck off Price whilst hes still sitting on your face does he lose it. Not knowing where to buck his hips either back and forth, and instead sways them. His claws tugging at Soaps hair and your hands wrapped tightly on his hips, bits of blood is evident from your claws but neither notice.
Its when you suddenly slide in a finger that Price goes almost limp, his tail squeezes a little tighter and his moans get louder. Damn the thin walls because tonight he knows hes going to be fucked well in his nest.
And in his eyes thats a night well spent.
Aftermath; By morning Gaz is the first of the 141 to complain. Small eyebags under his eyes as he stares at you, Soap, and Price.
"Fucked real good huh? Give me some earplugs next time alright?" He remarks, drinking some coffee, Ghost watches but said nothing. But theres something about the way his smoke slides up his arm at the words 'fucked', before sliding back down, gives you slight curiosity.
#cod#cod mw2#gn reader#john price#john soap mactavish#male reader#monster au#john price x reader#soap x male reader#soap x reader#john x reader#john price x male reader
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LOVE IS BLIND - PARADIS 2024ā¦in which 12 singles attempt to get engaged without seeing each other. will they prove that love is blind?
MEET THE CONTESTANTS
y/n l/n, 25, family lawyer - āyou need to be tall enough for my standards.ā
mikasa ackerman, 27, clinical therapist - āi need someone who will grow with me and not change who i am.ā
annie leonhart, 26, paralegal - āi donāt have a filter.ā
sasha braus, 25, middle school teacher - āi will not settle for less because i am deserving of more.ā
hitch dreyse, 28, dancer - āit dries me insane when people canāt make their minds up.ā
pieck finger, 25, realtor - āiām looking for somebody loyal.ā
porco galliard, 26, fashion influencer - āiām only single because i yet to meet a girl whoās just like me.ā
reiner braun, 29, corporate lawyer - āthe key to my heart is honestyā¦and food.ā
eren yeager, 27, baseball player - ālooking for someone as perfect as me.ā
armin arlert, 27, elementary school teacher - āi fall hard and fast.ā
jean kirstein, 28, business owner - āi want to be with a person that āseesā me. pun not intended.ā
connie springer, 25, geologist - āi am looking for someone who can match my energy.ā
who will make it to the alter? youāll find out later on this week!
authorās note: i know i said iād do love island but s11 of the uk version is not my tasteā¦š§š¾āāļøiām going to watch some previous seasons (or find the current us season) meaning i have to restart my outline to get the storyline right. but i also didnāt want to keep you guys waiting! so pls enjoy my attempt at LIB!
iām going to kindly ask you guys to complete this poll for me. it will help me determine your love interest and drama between characters. it also includes the tag list form. like the bachelorette, this will be an interactive story; you guys control the narrative!
see you later this week :3
#eren yeager x reader#eren x black reader#black reader#black yn#aot x reader#jean kirstein x reader#aot x black reader#jean x reader#jean x black!reader#x black reader#porco galliard x black reader#porco x black reader#porco galliard x reader#porco x reader#reiner braun x black reader#reiner x black reader#reiner braun x reader#reiner x reader#eren jeager x reader#eren x you#eren x reader#armin x black reader#armin arlet x reader#armin x reader#armin x you#jean kirschstein x black reader#jean kirstein x black reader#jean kirschtein x reader#jean kirschtein x you#connie springer x reader
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