#i will delete this (and many posts probably)

[thrashkink-coven]

anyways guys so the hot take of the week is that religious people are offended by demonolatry.

I can’t believe I have to say this but yes, Jews, Christians , Muslims, and all other people from organized monotheistic religions are probably going to be offended by you worshiping demons in general. Crazy concept but yes. Religious people get upset when they see people worshipping or working with demons they believe are evil. If you are concerned with the negative opinion of religious people, keep your practice a secret. It’s what we’ve been doing for centuries. The worship of these demons has never been popular or encouraged. That’s how demons work. They have specifically been demonized, working with them is more controversial than working with pagan Gods who have not been demonized. No it is not fair, that’s simply the way it is.

Regardless of who you are working with or where they come from, you will always be practicing an alternative form of spirituality if you are working with demons. You will always be subject to ridicule for it.

In the last couple posts I’ve made about this, people gotten so over consumed with the logistical claims I was making about the religions of Judaism, Christianity etc. that my main point was completely lost. It’s not my place to speak as a Jewish person, so I’m going to speak only as a demonolater and my experience. I’m still debating deleting that post because the point seems to have flown over everyone’s heads.

So I’m just going to be as direct as possible. Yes. Religious people have always and likely will always be offended by demonolatry regardless of what demon you’re working with.

If you’re using a name that was used by a religion to identify a negative spirit, you are very likely going to offend that religion by using that name and seeking them out. It’s up to you to decide if you care that your practice is offensive to others, because it always will be. The only way to work around actually appropriating any of these religions is to make these demons your own. Just as they encountered and documented these spirits, pagans and demonolaters can do the same, discover their own names, and use them to identify these spirits. In the very short conversation I had with (L*lit) on this subject, she was very excited about the idea. Many goetic demons don’t even use the names documented in the Lesser Key because they were recorded by people who did not respect them. Prince Cerberus never allows me to call him Naberius.

Of course these spirits don’t give the slightest bit of a shit whether your practice offends the church. Nor do they care if you use a Hebrew name. But humans care, and if a religion is asking us not to use the word they invented then okay. That’s easy to work around. We’re still going to be worshiping these demons.

Satanists, Luciferians, and all those who walk the left hand path have never been regarded positively by Christianity. They will never understand why we do what we do and how we benefit from it. This has always and likely will always be the case.

Lucifer isn’t going to abandon his cult because Catholics have a problem with his worship. Nor are the followers of Asmodeus going to stop worshiping him because Jews don’t like it. This is what demonolatry is.

At the end of the day, you will offend someone. That’s the reality of the left hand path. You will be hated and you will be used as a negative example. These energies have been demonized and so will you. If that’s too anxiety inducing for you, demonolatry might not be the path for you. This has never been a popular path for a reason. Demonolatry has never been about pleasing the church.

There’s 1000 other things that I do that are offensive to religious people. I find the accounts of ancient Christian magis and other religious people to be valuable because of the information they provided on these spirits. They were the only accounts of these spirits that have actually survived. But I have no interest in appeasing the beliefs of these magis, or really anyone else but myself.

So yeah. I can’t believe “demon worshippers are offensive to religious people regardless of which demon they are worshipping” was my most controversial take of 2025 so far, but yeah. It is what it is.

[lapdogchase]

i think a lot of posts about tiktok self-censorship can be annoying and condescending. tiktok has strict rules where saying certain words can impact how many people your post is shown to or even get you banned sometimes, and people are paranoid (maybe overly so) about it. and i think it's important to say that because people get all "i would NEVER censor a word because unlike YOU kids, i'm not AFRAID of the RAW TRUTHS of the world" about it and it's incredibly irritating. and that's not what this post is meant to be, i don't want to epic dunk on people.

that being said. first, and less importantly- i feel like getting ur post deleted or being shadowbanned is a lot less likely than people think it is. and a lot of words people say trigger the algorithm to suppress ur account probably don't. more importantly- in some instances it is absolutely undeniably inappropriate to use cutesy algospeak slang. you should not be talking about rape if you're calling it "grape" or "🍇" or fucking "mascara". you should not be posting about suicide using words like "sewer slide" or "diy unalive." you should not be posting about nazi germany if you're calling it "nono germany". you should not be talking about csa if you're calling pedophiles "pdf files." you should not be posting about the genocide against palestinians if you're saying "unaliving watermelon people". it's disrespectful as hell

[wholahoop]

Writing Interview

Thanks to the excellent @xalandrix, @lqtraintracks and @saintgarbanzo for tagging me! ❤️

how many works do you have on ao3? 61 (though I think technically it's only 59, as I'm pretty sure I still have double versions of a couple of old Yuletide exchange fics back when they moved the collections over to AO3)

What’s your total ao3 word count? 1,242,791

Your top 5 stories by kudos?

A big hello to most of my hd_holidays and Erised fics, lol!

Tea and No Sympathy (52k 😮)

Written on the Heart

The Sleeping Beauty Curse

The Potter-Malfoy Problem

Star Quality

(My remaining hd_hols and erised fics are numbers 6 and 7, haha)

Do you respond to comments? uh, sometimes? I usually respond to comments that come in shortly after I've posted. Otherwise, I tend to have a burst of energy every now and then and leave a heap of replies that can be summarised as "lol this is 3 years late, but thanks for your comment ilu!!!" I've caught up on comments on everything, pretty much, apart from my four H/D longfics. I probably won't go back and reply to everything on those, because I suspect it would take me a full working week 😅

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? My ends range from happy to extremely, extremely happy, haha. Even the one fic that has an open ending I view as happy, because it leaves the characters in a really good place where it's pretty obvious (to me, at least!) that everything is going to go beautifully well.

Oh! I did write an origfic take on the Bluebeard fairytale once, Jam Tomorrow, which has a less straightforward ending? This is the only time I've ever tried second person pov, and it's a more experimental/literary-style fic than is usual for me. I was really happy with it!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? What a difficult question 😂 For non-H/D, I'd say Best Nightmare Come True (SK8, matchablossom) lingers the most in the afterglow, and I think Kyoya Ootori's Guide to Self-Deception for Fun and Profit (Ouran High School Host Club, Kyoya/Haruhi) is pretty lovely.

For H/D, I'd say either Star Quality or The Sleeping Beauty Curse. Though I only exclude Written on the Heart, haha, because the ending is a bit rushed - I think it works well enough and I'm not unhappy with it, but if I hadn't been writing to a deadline oh god I was so late then it might well have been 30k longer, with more aftermath of them fixing the spell.

Do you write crossovers? I was going to say no, but I remembered I did write one once! And Then It Bit Him, a Harry Potter/Petshop of Horrors crossover for the amazing painless_j, who was a really respected and influential reccer back in the day. I think it has Snape's animagus form being a worm 😂

I haven't reread Petshop of Horrors, for years! It's a light horror manga series, with a Japanese nature god, Count D, who basically sells people animals with rules attached, which they inevitably disobey to their peril. Like the film Gremlins, haha. There's a great ship with him and the local cop, Leon, who's VERY suspicious of him, but who somehow becomes his closest friend against both of their wills. It's not BL but it's very shippable. I loved it, but it's also 20? 25? years old, and Count D is androdgynous leaning towards feminine, while Leon is, er, a cop who's clearly resistant to the idea he might be gay and falling for D, so there's a good chance it has some nasty dated humour lurking in there.

Have you ever received hate on a fic? Maybe a few times a year? It's mostly hate towards the fic rather than hate aimed at me, haha, although sometimes it's both. I usually just ignore it or delete it. If it really, really winds me up, then I reply 'lol', so they know I've read it, and then delete it 😂

I usually consider it positive, in the sense that if I've really wound someone up, then at least I'm making them feel something with my writing, right?! Usually people who leave rants fall into a couple of categories:

They really, really love Draco, and think he's perfect and pure and blameless, and how dare Harry be even slightly shitty to him, Harry is the WORST. At the pinnacle of this, is the lengthy comment that still makes me laugh/grind my teeth about how Harry was abusive to Draco and I was a terrible person for presenting such abuse as romantic. (I mean, that sounds like it could be a hot, fucked up fic 😂 But it's not one I wrote!)

They are OUTRAGED by the unfairness of McGonagall re-sorting Harry into Slytherin in an eighth year fic, rather than the hat doing it, lolol. Have they never considered that the idea of sorting people into school houses based on the goals and personalities they have when they're 11 - and one of the personality types is 'ambitious and evil', while another is 'everyone else' - is a particularly fucking stupid one? That maybe their school house isn't all that important when the kids have grow up, and have fought a war? And that the only thing the houses are actually used for in the books turns out to be dormitory allocations, house points and sporting rivalries?

They are triggered by Harry taking up the arse, when obviously it is Draco's role in life to be ploughed instead

I did not tag for [rimming, a bad joke, that the couple are fifth cousins twice removed so it's INCEST you freak, etc etc]. Strangely, I don't remember ever getting any hate on my actual incest fic, The Evil Devil Child and the Perfect Gift, where Scorpius is a charming teenage psychopath who finds out his dad is hot for Harry, and manages to persuade Al to roleplay Harry/Draco in his mission to get their parents together. It's even filthier and more fucked up than it sounds 😂 I still love this Scorpius with all my soul.

Do you write smut? Maybe?

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Yes. Frequently.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes! ❤️ A lot of my fics are in Chinese and Russian, and some in French, and I think a couple in Italian and Spanish too. It's so cool!

Have you ever co-written a fic? Nope. I drive myself up the wall trying to get a fic written. I couldn't inflict that on another person 😂

What’s your all time favourite ship? H/D (yes, I still prefer calling it that to Drarry, lol!)

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? A long time ago I completely failed to finish a Snarry fic I'd promised to someone who'd won an auction :( She was very gracious and understanding, and completely forgave me, but I still feel shitty I didn't come through. I used to love Snarry, but it was a complicated ship for me with competing love and ick feelings, and the pressure got to me so I lost my Snarry mojo completely.

What are your writing strengths? Oh, that's a hard one to answer, but with my self-confident hat on: I think I can write a bloody good love story.

What are your writing weaknesses? Overwriting, for sure - I don't always need to use so many words, or have such long sentences. I overuse italics and ellipses and dashes. If you think my posted fics have a lot of these, you should have seen them before :D

I love an adverb! I replace a lot in editing, because showing rather than telling is so much more effective, but a lot also stay.

I also get stuck on particular words/phrases and repeat them. I try to catch the worst offenders in editing, but in a long fic sometimes you just have to go with it - so please forgive me if you spot I used the word ridiculous a billion times, or someone runs their hand through their hair as a nervous tic a billion times, or whatever.

I also repeat a lot of ideas in fics, though I'm not convinced that's a weakness. If I do reread my fics though, it's pretty obvious what my narrative kinks are though, haha: significant gifts, fireworks, proposals, dining at a fancy restaurant, I could go on.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic? Mostly I avoid it - I don't see the point in including foreign dialogue when my reader won't understand it, unless my viewpoint character doesn't understand it either. (And even then, it's risky unless I speak that language - which I don't - because you can guarantee a reader will, and they'll lol at your ropey Google translate attempt.)

What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to? I have plenty of ships I haven't written anything for yet, but nothing I'm actively longing to write - if I was, I would have already started something.

What’s your favourite thing you’ve ever written? Oh, that's mean. I'm proud of basically 99% of everything I've written. I think maybe my favourite H/D is Star Quality - I think it's the best paced and plotted, and there's something about pop star Draco covered in glitter that feeds my soul 😂 Plus I love the journeys they both go on in terms of coming to terms with their sexualities - Harry's self-acceptance of something he was ashamed of, and Draco's bravery in doing what always felt impossible to him and coming out to his parents, because he wanted Harry so much he couldn't stand it any more ❤️

I also adore my Ouran fic. I don't write much het, and I don't usually write teen-rated fics either, but it's quiet, and heartfelt, and somehow the most romantic fic I've ever written. Plus I did a ton of research about Japanese culture so I think it does actually feel relatively Japanese. Oh, and I did a ton of research about Harvard too, where part of the fic is set, and I got a comment from someone asking if I'd been to Harvard too, so I considered that the highest of praise!!!

I don't remember who hasn't done this already to tag 😂 So, uh, @bewarethesmirk, @sweet-s0rr0w, @tackytigerfic, @eleadore, @epitomereally, @letteredlettered, @kamaela and any other writer friends scrolling on by who haven't!

[9mysterybook6]

What do I expect from this coward?🤦‍♀️

I told her to come and face me.

But guess what Rhylie did?

Rhylie you can't run away from me not after you keep lying and harassing us

you tried to escape again

This is exactly what Rhylie did on her old account.

I will continue to spread awareness about Rhylie to everyone.

But look at her actions

I'm so scared she said

And Rhylie is still playing the victim.

I thought at least is not that worst

But I was very wrong

because of that the spoiled brat Rhylie

First I never said that I queen of Tumblr But that was you

You insisted on saying you are queen of Tumblr

I have evidence in the previous posts that you said this.

Plus Rhylie says that she is a god to all us🙄😬

And secondly

I never damsel in distress

I don't need anyone to save me

I can face my battles alone unlike you, you coward who hides behind your followers.

I said you are a fake damsel in distress And I did not mention myself in this phrase

else

Delete this now, You do not have the right to publish this drawing.

This drawing belongs to torrentialchaos.

This was an old drawing

When torrentialchaos didn't know Rhylie for who she really was

torrentialchaos story

((Alright, time for my story on Rhylie…

So, a while back, you may recall I did an art trade with Pami, and I very much enjoyed doing it.

Anyway, the next day, I got an ask in my inbox from her asking if I do requests, and of course I said yes. This was before I knew who she really was.

Anyway, her request was very simple. Draw herself, Pami, and a few other people (that she probably is also harassing) in the pose from Turning Red, which I did

Yes, I’m finally showing this now. Only so you can see what this creep made me do. I feel disgusted looking at this because I spent a good amount of time making this, only to find out I was being used for a stalker.

After I made this and posted it, I messaged Pami, of course since she was in it, and that’s when I found out the truth. Disgusted, I deleted the post immediately and blocked her.

And guess what happened next. A little later, I get a message from HER FRIEND asking me to unblock her! I unfortunately know what this is like as I had something similar happen to me once another time, but I’d rather not talk about that…

So yeah, that’s my Rhylie story. We need to get this creep off of tumblr for good.))

I feel bad for torrentialchaos

But what makes me angry is the response of Rhylie If you read what is in the picture

The worst thing is Rhylie taking The drawing without the owner's permission.

Seriously, torrentialchaos posted how they hates you now and you take the drawing and say three points

That's all matters to Rhylie.

her requests and demands

else Rhylie You prove it that you are 100% a Creep

I'm talking about this

@rainbow-starheart and @shadowwolfmemes was asked an important question

And you say you are 21 old And sensitive

You are asking someone with Different age from you to date you.

You don't even know them

They only know Rhylie through the drama

You ask to be in a relationship with people, you barely talked to them

Plus She wrote her name this way

(rhylie the cater fly is not a creep🤣🤣🤣🤣)

and other thing, I see your conversation with @rainbow-starheart

You want to get rid of me, you donkey

Don't make me laugh

What will you do? Will you send me one of your followers on me Or ask them to expose me

You are really stupid🤣🤣🤣

Guys I want to remind you, that Rhylie tried to make evidence against me In her old blog.

And it was very bad and weak evidence.

On top of that, she was confident of her weak evidence.

If you don't know what Rhylie evidence is

So let me tell you the funny thing.

Rhylie evidence was just a screenshot of On insults🤣🤣

just like that

There were many errors in Rhylie evidence.

First of all How do you know if this is was me huh

You just take a screenshot of the letters and Nothing indicates my blog

Unlike you, I take full screenshot on your blog

and secondly You can play with the letters.

You can easily mix my insults With fake sentences from you

For example, you can write something and take screenshot And you say I said this

and thirdly

She was very confident in them.

(((This is the real evidence, My own evidence are true and there are many truths about your true color that you've kept hiding from me and you lied and making everyone turned against me,

Unlike you, you're f**king delusional about your business and controlling everyone for what you have did to me.

Don't you see that all this hate posts about me makes others win against your fking Filthy mouth of yours, you're the worst gacha community leader ever and it is ugly and disgraceful, you have been kicked out from gacha community group, shame on you mysteryb*h!!!!!!

I won't let everyone forgive you…….))))

I'm laughing like crazy at Rhylie stupidity.

Even if one of Rhylie's followers tried to exposed me

They will be thrown Tomatoes at them.

Because first of all there is nothing to expose me at all

And secondly, if they tried to cover up Your crimes With an excuse and empty arguments, than Their position will be very bad.

And thirdly

If they try to lie about the truth or deny it

Their position will be very bad if they lied.

For example, if they said that @pamithebunterfly2007 Under mysterybook control And her lies

pami will respond angrily: This is not true.

pami: and Who gave you the right to say that?

pami: Rhylie is the problem

pami: Rhylie is a old creep stalker me!!! And you dare to say that mysterybook controls me

And pami showering them with their anger While others agree too

You're just making yourself worse and worse every second.

You can't get away with harassing people that easily without punishment.

So I suggest you to delete your blog from here Rhylie

I'm not afraid of you, You coward

Face it I'm the winner in this drama

[rillils]

🌸 post-catws stucky + lovers’ kiss

one.

The thing about grief is, it has a habit of dropping by every once in a while, unannounced and insistent like a nosy suburban neighbor.

It’s a contrary little creature. Some days it strikes hard, and crushes Steve’s chest with the brutal force of a frothing waterfall. Sometimes, though, it comes in droplets; little pills that get stuck in his throat for a minute, until he can swallow them down.

Steve doesn’t mind those too much: sure, the aftertaste is bitter – but there’s always a spoonful of honey at hand to help wash it down.

two.

There’s a morning ritual Steve is particularly fond of.

When the coffee has been made, and the first sip taken, he nudges their mugs to the side, and crowds Bucky back against the kitchen counter, arms braced on either side of him to box him in. Bucky watches him come with a knowing grin, a gleam in his eyes that says, well, all right, he’ll let Steve believe that he’s leading this little dance here, just this once.

But it’s Bucky who pulls him in the rest of the way; Bucky who sets his hands low around Steve’s waist, and brings their bodies flush together from hip to knee, delight written in the pretty curve of his lips.

“Hey there, sailor,” he teases. His morning voice is a dark, rich thing, rough around the edges but soft at its core, sweet with that old Brooklyn drawl that brings Steve right back home.

“Hey there, sweetheart,” he chuckles against Bucky’s smiling lips, their breaths warm between them. “Fancy meetin’ ya here.”

It’s a ritual. Aren’t all kisses a ritual? Well-learned steps and a worshipful heart, the motions so ingrained they come naturally to your limbs.

Their mouths brush together, easy. Unrushed, like time will slow down for them if they’ll just deign to ask.

Bucky’s head tilts just so in Steve’s hands, and the kiss opens up, spilling its molten heat on Steve’s tongue, stroking inside to taste him, easy, easy.

It’s a long-practiced dance. If Bucky pushes, Steve will give; if Steve strays to flutter kisses all over Bucky’s bristly cheek, Bucky will grin and chase after him, and steer Steve back towards his lips.

It’s lazy. Uncomplicated. It’s their first conversation of the day, and Steve can just make out the words in the whisper of Bucky’s hair running through the gaps between his fingers; in the hushed rustle of his own t-shirt, when Bucky’s hand slips under the hem and slides warmly up the dip of Steve’s spine, leaving a trail of pebbled skin in its wake.

You’re here, Bucky’s touch says, awed and reverent.

Always, Steve says back, and kisses that vow to Bucky’s lips for Bucky to find later, when he’ll brush his fingertips against it, and the well-loved flush of his mouth, red and sweetly sore, will remind him of this. Of always.

Parting from him is agony, but breathing is an unfortunate necessity in life – so Steve pulls back, though only just enough to drink Bucky in, his arms wrapped snugly around Bucky’s waist to hold him close.

He’s a sight to behold, all soft and loved up and ruffled from Steve’s own hands, his smile like a ripe fruit framed by the fullness of his beard. His eyes crinkle with it, each little crease a testament to his happiness – and Steve knows he’s gonna have to take his time kissing each and every one of those later, or he’ll simply be driven to madness.

He should get to have a whole lifetime of this, Steve thinks – a lifetime to dedicate just to this little pleasure. Seventy years at least, to make up for the seventy years gone by that could have seen them grow old and gray together, but were stolen from them instead – and then seventy years more, ninety, a hundred, as many as his old withering body will stand and breathe for.

This will be his only job: the worship of Bucky’s laugh lines, of the curling wisps of his bedhead, of his eyelashes fanning darkly against the pad of Steve’s thumb. Cherishing this treasure he holds in his hands – the one he once thought gone forever.

There it is now: a little pill lodged in his throat. The cold hand of grief squeezing around his heart again, just for a moment.

Bucky’s palms cup his cheeks, drawing Steve’s gaze up to meet his.

“Hey,” he murmurs, gentler than before, his thumb stroking soothingly over Steve’s cheekbone. “You’ve got your thinking face on. What’s wrong?”

Steve covers Bucky’s hand with his own, turning his mouth to it to kiss the warm, unyielding metal of Bucky’s palm.

“Nothing’s wrong,” he promises, leaning in to nudge to tip of his nose against Bucky’s, like a puppy. “Just busy coming up with an excuse to kiss you some more.”

Bucky’s breath puffs warmly against his lips. “Yeah? Had any luck yet?”

Steve hums pleasantly, “Mm-mmm”, locking his fingers together just above the small of Bucky’s back, and gently sways the two of them from side to side. Bucky snorts, amused, but he allows it; dropping his hands to rest on Steve’s shoulders as Steve rocks them slowly, left to right, right to left.

“Here’s what I think,” Steve rumbles. “I think I ought to give you one kiss for each day we were apart since 1945.”

Bucky stares back at him, his lips parted slightly in surprise. He takes Steve in, wordlessly, studying him from the arch of his eyebrows, to the half-crooked slope of his nose, to the hopeful smile Steve knows he must be sporting right now. There is much left unsaid, Steve can feel its weight hanging in the air between them, recognizes it by taste and sound.

But Bucky’s gray eyes shimmer, nearly crystal-clear, and they fill with the kind of big, heart-twisting emotion that cannot fit under a single label; one that is equal parts ache and tenderness, and Steve understands – his chest feels too-tight around that same ache, too.

“That’s a lot of kisses,” Bucky rasps softly, and his hand skates up Steve’s shoulder to curl over the nape of his neck, herding him one inch closer into Bucky’s space.

“Yes,” Steve whispers, leaning in the rest of the way to mash their foreheads together. He can feel his own heart beat inside his chest, a quick and steady rhythm, and a rushing sense of victory bubbles straight up to his lips, sweet and light as air. “Exactly.”

Bucky laughs, a little wetly, and laughs ever harder when Steve tries to kiss him and gets all teeth and half a nostril instead – his head thrown back and his whole body shaking joyfully, while Steve ducks in to kiss what bristly portion of Bucky’s neck he can reach.

A treasure, Steve thinks.

A treasure in his hands, and forever to hold on to it.

three.

He sits himself down at the table with a sheet of paper, a pen and a calculator, a bunch of dates marked down and circled over and over in the topmost corner.

Bucky watches him from across the room, amused and – Steve believes – a little bit impressed.

“You’re really gonna do this?”

Steve smiles up at him, throwing in one teasing wiggle of his eyebrows for good measure.

“I’m a man of my word.”

It takes nearly a whole hour of focused scribbling before he looks up again, a wide grin lit up like Christmas on his face and a torn piece of paper held up in triumph. “I have the number.”

25109.

Seventy years’ worth of daily kisses.

It’s quite the commitment. It requires dedication. But good things are always worth putting in the work, Bucky tells him, eyes dancing with laughter; and when he settles in Steve’s lap, heavy and warm in Steve’s arms, and brushes their mouths together to claim the first of what he was promised, Steve can’t help but agree.

four.

25109 kisses Steve owes him, and he initiates quite a few; but mostly, he lets Bucky ask for them, when and where the mood strikes him to do so.

When he’s right on the verge of sleep, his face half-swallowed up by his pillow, and he can’t even peel his eyes open long enough to receive his kiss – he just tips his chin up and waits for Steve to scoot closer and find his mouth, drowsily humming in satisfaction.

When he lets Steve slip into the shower with him, and slides his hands up Steve’s chest, sweet and proprietary, and their breaths mingle with the hot steam.

When he’s got his head in Steve’s lap while Steve reads, and Steve’s fingers carding through his hair at leisure; and Steve catches Bucky watching him from under his eyelashes, and trying to hide that private little grin of his, because apparently Steve was silently mouthing the words again without realizing it.

“Kiss me special, Stevie,” he’ll croon, and Steve will know.

And he’ll be all too happy to comply.

five.

Steve is supposed to keep score. He does, too. For the most part.

Once every couple of weeks or so, though, he’ll just so happen to conveniently lose count.

He’ll roll out of bed with singular purpose, and break the tragic news to Bucky over their morning coffee, barefoot and forlorn. Bucky never buys his little sob story, but that never stops Steve from batting his eyelashes at him all prettily, either.

He’ll guide Bucky’s arms to loop around his neck, luring him in, soft and stealthy like a thief, and he’ll mumble real close to Bucky’s lips, “Let’s start over again.”

And Bucky, sweet, merciful, long-suffering Bucky, will accept his fate and be kissed breathless once more, right in front of their placidly steaming mugs.

“There,” Steve will murmur, again, and again, and again. “One down, 25108 to go.”

Oh, one life won’t be enough to see the end of this, no.

And that’s exactly Steve’s plan.

***

little sidenote nobody asked for lol: obviously the number of days/kisses varies depending on when you think the boys were reunited; my wishful thinking headcanon for this specific fic is: post-helicarrier, they find each other again sometime in the fall, 2014. the ficlet is set sometime in late spring 2016, and ignores everything that comes after catws.

[orphee-aux-enfers]

When discussing the "male" and "female" policy attempts please, please do not forget intersex people in your trans and nonbinary dialogue. Many of us identify as intersex, an identity that is already controversial. Please do not reinforce a binary while trying to combat a different binary. Please.

[marcelineuntitled]

fanart for This Is Not The End by @kings-highway

potentially my favourite fic ever!! <3

[whaliiwatching]

gals & colors..

[yakultii]

3am yakultii

[whyamihereat4am]

there's something so deeply enjoyable about shipping characters you know would loathe being shipped. Like, whether they have genuine hate for each other or are just offended anyone else would think they tolerate each other, they would definitely rip my head off for giggling maniacally while I draw them smooching in MS Paint like I'm pressing my Barbies' heads together- and not just because that's a generally uncomfortable thing to find, but because it's that person specifically. the knowledge that there is a wealth of erotica that involves them having biologically impossible children would inspire them to destroy the world. but they can't, because they're fictional. the fools. *cackles evilly and posts about who i think would be the bottom when they have hate sex*

[scuorge101]

I feel cringe posting these especially since they don’t make sense at all but I just felt like drawing the cursed brothers (even tho I’m still learning the lore).

Don’t ask me what the last one is supposed to be I wanted to draw one of them as a lion for no reason

[eebie]

sometimes i just feel like straight up i’m not built for being a person. dont get me wrong im not saying this in a suicidal or self-loathing way Not even close. to me this kinda just feels like an objective observable truth about myself that anyone could reasonably draw as a conclusion if they poked around in my brain for a few minutes.. it;s a weird sensation that i can only compare to running your fingers over goosebumps but raised just far away enough that you only graze the hairs. i can still function and stuff but it seems like there will always be that disconnect between me and my surroundings. i think i’d do a much better job if i were a microbe or cloud or something

[staticofthetv]

Take two!

Favourite frames from the new B-Side chapter, featuring some analysis because I have coherent thoughts this time 'round :D

Beware, spoilers below for the B-Side as well as the manga

@veiled-bird that goes for you too, you're nowhere near meeting this guy yet

First up, I love this chapters art. It reminds me of when I was little and asking my dad to help my brother and I beat the last level of episode 3 in lego star wars tcs

Also the chapter title? I have so many thoughts, they'll be discussed more in depth further down but they will be discussed /pos

Numbers weapon 1 mention!! I'm very excited to (hopefully) get more lore about it. Although I am curious if it's like a contact lens or something, I thought it was closer to a surgical implant or maybe some weird side effect from using numbers weapon 1. Mostly because I don't think he's been drawn with normal eyes yet in the manga (at least from what I remember)

Either way very much hoping we get some more numbers weapon 1 lore in this :)

This whole scene but specifically "what good does a test proving I'm abnormal do" hits so hard, especially as someone diagnosed with ADHD in my late teens. Having that feeling of there's something wrong with me for so long and being brushed off every time because I didn't act like the stereotypical 10 year old boy with severe ADHD (a psychiatrist literally told me and my mum i probably had adhd but she wouldnt diagnose me,) I did start to kind of give up on ever figuring it out.

Narumi was incredibly relatable to me in the main manga (not because I'm a badass, I'm very lame lmao) because of the behaviours he exhibits, hyperfocusing on games, constant dopamine seeking (through videogames and online shopping,) needing to be fiddling with something to better process the information being given out, etc.

Narumi is also incredibly smart, its stated explicitly that he got top scores in the entrance exam and I can't imagine those tests are anywhere near easy. It gives neurodivergent kid being told they just need to apply themselves to do better in school/make friends/just function in a neurotypical way in general.

This also comes from his being kicked out of several orphanages, and then even after joining the defence force (especially after being told by Isao that they take anyone that can show skills and results) getting kicked out by the second division and every platoon in the first until he ends up under hasegawa. Considering the title too this is 100% supposed to read as the classic "troubled kid" (many of which are neurodivergent) that not many are willing to put effort into helping. Isao is giving him a way out of the life of having no home to go back to, only to be struck with the threat of getting kicked out once again a year later. Narumi is a very skilled and capable fighter and no one in their right mind would argue with that and it once again all comes down to being labelled as too difficult, hard to work with, never paying attention

This chapter just hits so close to home with me

Baby Mina!! I know there's a decent amount if it in the manga but it's still weird to see her with short hair. I love her so much

There are many more words of appreciation I have but all thought went into dissecting Narumi's character lol

And so being kicked around by hasegawa begins

I love his face here, top tier expression

And here we see Isao solidifying the thought of skill and results being all that matters, there's no way Isao was going to let Narumi get kicked out, especially not after showing aptitude for handling numbers weapon 1. I like to think at this point he does also care for Narumi, I think he sees a lot of Kikoru (or what she could be) in him and especially he sees himself in Narumi. And even though he's only ranked captain Isao would clearly fight to keep Narumi on the force (he probably already had to for Narumi to get transferred to the first division instead of just being dropped when he didn't mesh with the second)

This is also the beginning of Isao and Narumi's mentor/mentee relationship, Isao knows exactly how to handle Narumi and his child prodigy-ness and help him reach his potential as a defence force officer. I think that's part of why Isao shows little care for how Narumi handles himself when off duty, it may be that he knows he can't change Narumi in that way, it may be that he himself just doesn't care for all the professional decorum, either way Isao plays the very important role of being Narumi's main support while he's in the defence force (until Isao dies anyway, whoops.) Narumi needed a space where he could not only be himself but be accepted for it and have the trust of his peers and superiors that he would get the job done when he needs to, and whether it was on purpose or not Isao provided exactly that for him.

This also ties back into the earlier ramble about Narumi being the typical undiagnosed neurodivergent "troubled kid"

(Also the origin of what Narumi says to Kikoru ~9 years in the future :D)

Omg jaeger is canon? Kaiju no. 8 and pacific rim crossover when? /j

Another interesting tidbit about Narumi is his self confidence, he knows he's capable and isn't afraid to tell people that. He says playing support is annoying but what I see is someone that knows he can do better placed somewhere else and has decided to take that into his own hands. He won't get kicked out of the defense force but I wouldn't be surprised if he gets into a shit ton of trouble for taking Isao's words to heart and disregarding his orders, even though I do think he'll be an asset to the battle and perform better being closer to the front lines.

Poor hasegawa has his work cut out for him keeping Narumi in check (a captain and vice-captain match made in hell)

[hellsite-hall-of-fame]

umm so fun thing- an anon was mean again, but this one affected me more than normal for some reason, sooo I shall post less ✨personality✨ here bc pain, soooo pls follow @the-curators-bullshit for hhof personality. thank you and goodnight lol

[ssruis]

Ruikasa posting

[proshipconfessions]

Responding to your last post about proshippers complaining about other proshippers. You didn't provide this option, but I really think it should depend on the content of the ask... And yes, this is a confession blog for proshippers/profic, etc. aligned people. Telling us to go to antiship confession blogs is horrifically stupid and is only going to put us in dangerous positions.

The proship community is not immune from being shitty. There are proshippers who act just like antis. People who think they can change their race and give themselves disabilities are straight up infecting the community as well. There are proshippers who are horrifically ableist against pwOSDDID, schizospec disorders, etc. There are proshippers who straight up use slurs they can not reclaim. There are proshippers who call people the r slur. I especially think proshippers with these disorders (including myself) should have a safe outlet to talk about the toxicity and abuse within our own community without telling us to basically become an anti. Because what the hell???

Of course, I can't read every single anon that you get, but if they are anything along the lines of what I'm talking about here, consider not deleting them. Especially don't tell people to "just become antis" or "just go to antiship confession blogs." That's harmful as fuck.

If anything, these confessions should serve as a reality check that our community isn't perfect. Or serve to remind people that this behavior shouldn't or won't be tolerated in the proship community. Not every self-proclaimed "proshipper" is actually a proshipper, especially if they act abusive, ableist, or harass people like antis do. I will die on this hill.

If you don't want to house confessions about these topics, that's fine. Just say so, and I'll make my own confessional blog where these topics are allowed.

You’re right that there are plenty of people who are proship and also shitty af. It’s something that I’ve both posted plenty of confessions about and have actually even—in case you haven’t been familiar with my blog for a while—made my own post about! It’s like one of just a few posts that I have made speaking directly from my mouth and not a confession. It’s just a post that I wrote about behavior that I hate seeing pop up far too commonly in this community. I literally can’t count how many people I have blocked, which includes not only antis, but also shitty proshippers and pricks who claim to be them while supporting harm caused to others in real life.

You’re also right that you can’t read every anon that I get. I would have much preferred that you even just ask what kind of thing I’m talking about instead of acting like you’re some secret second mod and I’m just some asshole who refuses to hold anyone or any behavior accountable as long as I agree with them on some level.

I really do wonder what you would think about one of the (many with a similar tone) asks that inspired this post.

Do you know how many anons I get with the same fucking attitude and the same fucking insistence that they’re right and I’m wrong and evil, and yet I’m somehow the perfect mouthpiece for their beliefs? What reality check is this supposed to be giving me? Please either stop assuming that everything I say is in bad faith or genuinely try to explain to me what the good content for my followers is in this ask. This is the behavior that I mocked in my post. I also have an old one that I think is somewhere in my drafts(?) where the evil behavior that they’ve seen among a bunch of proshippers that has made them hate all proshippers is venting about harassment from antis. The fake post I made mocking them is an amalgamation of those two, but you only get this one since I’m way too tired to go find the other one rn lol. If someone reminds me, I can reblog it with it later.

Also, I really can’t tell where I said in my post that I would tell these people to go to antiship blogs (other than my reference to a comment where I said that if all that people send to my inbox is how much they hate proshippers and basic proship ideology, then they should probably take that to an anti blog) instead of just deleting the ask, like I actually said in the post. The post that was really more of a way to let off some steam while getting some use out of the Tumblr polls that I practically never get to do anything with. Do you think that the person in those screenshots that I put above is more at home here than they’d be sending this to some anti’s blog?

But like to try to put myself in your shoes, you could’ve been having a shitty day when you sent this, you could be young, or hell, you could’ve seen someone say something similar to my statement recently while meaning this shitty completely different thing. Or maybe you’ve never seen my blog in your life and have no clue what kind of stuff I do/don’t post. My response might sound super defensive, and I hope that it doesn’t, and that I’m not jumping to conclusions, too. I’d hate to blow this out of proportion over what could easily be just a misunderstanding. If I’m being too harsh, sorry. I aim any coldness towards all of these bigoted ideas and the idea that I hold them, and not at you as a person, as I’m willing to believe that you’re an entirely rational person who just misunderstood me and lashed out at me bc of it. But if there is a next time, please try to give me the benefit of the doubt. I don’t ever intend to do anything harmful, and what I said wasn’t intended to imply anything like what you’re saying here at all. I’m not talking about proshippers venting. I’m talking about actual antis coming into my inbox with the “I’m like TECHNICALLY a proshipper, I guess, but I just despise proshippers and think that people who engage with certain types of fiction are inherently bad!!!” So unless you’re one of these people coming into my inbox, then I am NOT telling YOU to go to antiship confession blogs. And if you are… well, then you’re probably not gonna see this, since I’m going through and blocking all of these dickheads soon.