#i will be returning to fluff VERY soon im actually in the middle of making a lil comic of early days gale x lilith | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

notnctu · 4 years

Text

through the lens ❀ l.jn

❀ lee jeno x fem!reader ❀ genre - slow burn, smut/mature content, fluff (romance?), slight angst ❀ details - photographer!jeno, model!reader, college!au, shy!jeno but he aint shy in bed, strangers to fuckers!au ❀ word count - 8k (this is the longest thing ive ever written) ❀ warnings - nude modeling, swearing, oral (f/receiving), some sweet love makin’ ❀ brief synopsis - jeno asks you to model for his internship project, but little did you know, it was going to be a nude photo shoot.

❝ jeno was too shy to hold eye contact, but he stared at you endlessly through the lens. ❞

❀ a/n - hihihi this is author doie❀ ! im bad at writing smut so pls dont hate me ah ha lol i tried my best i also dont model/do professional photography so really apologize if i butcher any terms lmaoo the only thing i am is that im in college and im shy

Jeno had applied to almost a hundred internships and almost close to none returned with an offer, even after a whole month of waiting. He absolutely needed to start building his portfolio before the beginning of his senior year of college. The embarrassment of possibly graduating without any experience loomed over the desperate boy.

Photography had been more than a hobby to him, to the point where he wanted to take it seriously. His parents weren’t the most supportive of an Arts major, but that couldn’t stop him. Jeno saw the best through a camera lens. He had a special eye for beautiful moments and the impressing urge to capture it forever.

It was too late to change his major, if he wanted to graduate with all of his friends. If he wanted to be successful, he had to act on it now.

The swoosh! of a new email startled the sleeping boy. He stared at the brightly lit screen, reading the words over and over again to make sure it was real. Jeno was so enthralled with excitement that he scrambled out of bed to wake up his roommate, Jaemin.

He shook him so violently that the sheets fell from Jaemin’s warm body. “Dude! I got an internship!” He spoke with incredible glee, a wide smile couldn’t leave his face.

Jaemin groaned and had to hold Jeno by the shoulders to halt the boy from causing the room to spin. “Why--What is going on?” He dazely rubbed his tired eyes to blink at his giddy roommate.

The screen blinded Jaemin as it was shoved too closely to adjust. “Whoa--,” he pushed it away and shut his eyes, “--repeat what you just said one more time.” Jaemin held a finger up and Jeno grabbed it, jumping onto his best friend’s bed.

“I got an internship. Someone got back to me.” Jaemin returned the same excitement the moment he processed his words. He shot up in bed and hugged his friend tightly.

“Wo-w, dude! Congratulations!” The two boys hurried on their feet to cheer together. There was no concern for the rest of their housemates, only celebration that roared throughout the entire night.

Truthfully, Jeno had no recollection of applying to this studio. It could have been a random link on a job scouting website, but he couldn’t be more grateful. An internship was long overdue and Jeno had been itching to get some recognition for his craft.

“Hello, I’m Lee Jeno.” He bowed slightly at the receptionist, who had a stern stare that made him feel vulnerable. The first thing he noted about the office: white and minimalistic.

Jeno’s specialty was landscape photography. His aesthetics consisted of black and white filters, city lights, dark mood lighting, and background commotion. He enjoyed capturing chaos the most, a scene where more than one thing was happening. The only reason being that there was more to look at.

“Nice to meet you. The name is Lee Taemin, but you can call me what you please.” A young, lean man strolled his way towards Jeno with a wide grin and his hand for him to shake. Taemin was slightly shorter than him, but his stylish, expensive boots made up for his height. He had to be only a maximum of five years older than Jeno as Taemin appeared relatively youthful.

Taemin’s firm grip pulled Jeno along inside the studio. A small gasp escaped from Jeno which earned robust laughter from the older man. “I hope you can break out of your shell soon. There is no room for timidness around here, Mister Lee.”

“Please, you can call me Jeno.” He smiled, quite awkwardly at the beautiful man.

The tall glass windows, the concrete, gray floor, the white doors that lined the hallway, had to be all too predictable. Jeno envisioned this is what high class must look like. It was the pristine, bright feeling and the smell of vanilla that lingered distastefully. There was chatter behind the closed doors --- mainly directing, and high praises.

The only off-put was that photographers worked behind closed doors. From the few studios he has visited previously, photographers often worked in open spaces due to lighting fractures or the ability to roam more freely.

“I’m actually very ecstatic you signed up for the internship, since you do seem a bit on the younger side.” Taemin gestured toward the sofa in the middle of his massive office. Jeno sat across from him. Water was already placed on the glass coffee table that separated the two. A laptop was opened to face Taemin.

Jeno slyly rubbed the condensation from his palms on his jeans. Taemin’s stare bore deep into the shy boy, who had to break eye contact from time to time. “I know.” Jeno chuckled nervously, “thank you for getting back to me. I was really hoping to gain work experience through mentorship.”

Taemin nodded at everything Jeno was saying. His face being completely expressionless. Jeno sipped his water to regain moisture in his dry throat. Taemin was more intimidating than he was anticipating. “Sounds great. Happy to have you here. It might be a small business, but the experience is worth investing in. Every photographer who has come in and out of my building has found their forte. Let’s say, it’s eye opening.”

“That’s exactly what I was looking for actually.” As scared as he was of this mysterious man, he really enjoyed the comfort the environment radiated.

Taemin leaned forward and squinted at the screen. “I noticed in the portfolio you sent that you don’t have any portraits or any people, in general, in your photos. Do you have any works with people? Since this is a studio of fine art nude photography.”

Nude. Jeno practically choked on the last remaining spit he gathered. Taemin acknowledged the boy’s shocked reaction and tilted his head curiously, “you did know that I specialize in contemporary fine art nude photography, right?” Unfortunately, Jeno did not.

Jeno cleared his throat, “yes, of course. I wanted to challenge myself.” He had to lie, there was no other way to cover up his disbelief. This internship was the only hope left for him to gain something. Though, even the thought of shooting a naked body made him anxious.

He hated how timid he was. His friends and family say otherwise, mainly for the reason that Jeno automatically lit up behind a camera. In all honesty, he hid behind it. It was the only safe place that Jeno knew what he was doing. However when it came to real life situations without it, he lacked the confidence to be himself.

As ironic as it was, he hated being seen. He liked to be the background character in his own life, because the main character took too much of a toll. It could also be his deafening insecurities and lack of self esteem, but Jeno didn’t mind not being the center of attention.

“You like a challenge?” It was more of a statement rather than a question. Jeno caught a glimpse of the twinkle in Taemin’s dark eyes. “Then for your first task, I want you to show me that you can take on this role.”

Jeno scrambled for his phone to jot down notes. “Send me an emotional portfolio, model of your choice. They could be a friend of yours that you feel comfortable seeing naked. It must include a variation of headshots, full body, and body details. It must also be raw and unedited photos. I want to see if you have the eye for the art to capture these types of images.”

“When would you like it by?” He stammered, completely winded at the sudden project that unloaded on top of him.

“Next Friday, and you’ll present it to me here in person. Feel free to use this studio if you don’t have a place of your own with equipment. All you need to do is book a room with the front desk. Any other questions?” The sound of the laptop shutting caused Jeno to look up at the brilliance in front of him. He needed Taemin to help him succeed.

“Why do you take nude photography?”

Taemin was unable to stop the laughter that erupted into the room. “I don’t run a pimp business or sell soft core porn, if that’s why you’re staring at me so funnily. What I make is an art masterpiece, it has nothing to do with physical features or desires. It’s the pure emotion that clothing distracts from. Clothing conforms the model into an aesthetic, and while that works for editorials, it won’t be a consistent thing here.”

Jeno nodded understandingly. Overwhelmed and lost at words. He was unsure what he had gotten himself into. Where was he going to find a model on such short notice on such lewd conditions? He was really going to need to step out of his comfortable zone, in his photography and social skills.

Taemin stood up and extended his hand once more. “I take pride in my art, so I hope you, too, start finding that in your own.”

Jaemin held his stomach from the endless laughter, tears welling up in his eyes. “Nud-Nude photography? And you didn’t know?”

“Jaemin, keep it down.” Jeno whispered and cautiously peered around at the few people flooding into the small lecture hall. “I don’t want everyone in our club to misunderstand and think I’m some creep.”

His best friend straightened up in his seat and placed his hand on Jeno's slumped shoulder, “first of all, you’re a complete idiot for not researching. Secondly, it’s an art form. If you really got yourself a shady, rated R internship, I would’ve told you to drop it instantly.”

His spirits were slightly lifted, but he was still struggling with who he should ask to model for him. As much as he’s already seen of Jaemin, being his roommate, he honestly would rather leave the rest to imagination. Jeno wasn’t purposefully searching the room for a candidate, but he could not stop his eyes from drifting.

He spotted the most attractive side profile that sat two rows below him. He shook his head to make sure he was seeing her correctly. Peering around, he looked for another possible face to shoot. But oh god, how she caught his eye every time she even slightly moved.

You smiled happily with your friends by your side as your club’s executive board members introduced this year’s goals and events to attend. It had to be the smallest amount of alcohol still running in your system that caused you to giggle every time guys tried to turn around and hit on you.

“Why don’t you focus on our club members instead?” You smirked at the smug older boy, who had poorly attempted to grab your attention. “I think this information is important to you. These events could help you develop your social skills to be much better.” Your voice was barely above a whisper, but your girl friends scoffed by your side.

He got up in disbelief and quickly walked out of the room. There was a brief pause at the sudden movement, but the announcement carried on per usual.

Jeno impatiently waited for the club meeting to finally be over, so he could talk to you. The longer it dragged, the more his confidence was subsiding. “I’m heading to study, wanna come with?” Jaemin poked at Jeno’s knee.

“Yeah, but you can go ahead first. I need to talk to someone.” His voice was shaky and his throat went so dry. Jeno’s shifty eyes scanned the room, hoping no one saw how nervous he was acting.

Jaemin’s eyebrows lifted suspiciously, “who? I didn’t even know you talked to anyone who came today. Donghyuck and Renjun aren’t here---”

“--her, Jaemin... her. I’m going to ask her to model for me.” Jeno motioned his head. His heart beating faster at seeing a small grin appear on your face from a comment someone made.

Jaemin hummed, “good luck with that, bud. I’ve got two shoulders for you to cry on after.” The extra hint of sarcasm only made Jeno sweat nervously. He was seriously doubting his decision, but it wouldn’t be a challenge if he didn’t do it. He knew he’d regret it more if he didn’t just ask you.

Once the meeting was dismissed, you wanted to get out of the room before the heavy rush into the hallways. Unfortunately, a few frat guys pulled you into their conversation and chatted up a storm. Your friends played into their foolery, but you stopped paying attention when they asked for your numbers.

There was a faint tap on your shoulder and you turned to see who the culprit was. You didn’t seem to know him, because you would’ve remembered such a demeanor. His eyes were glued to the floor behind you and his shaky hands ran through his brown locks. His shyness was quite endearing, yet alarming since you weren’t sure why exactly he had approached you.

“Yes?” You asked curiously.

The moment Jeno heard your delicate cadence, he melted like a popsicle left out in the sun. He peered up, but quickly reverted his eyes to the white tiles when he noticed how beautifully you stared at him.

He counted his breathing to calm his rapid heart beat. He cleared his throat to introduce himself, “I’m Jeno. I’m a third year Arts major, um-- I was just--- I know we don’t know each other. I wanted to ask, uh-” Jeno was horrified at how he stammered over his own words. His cheeks burned with a red glow, and if he couldn’t look you in the eye before, he definitely couldn’t now.

“Hey, see you later.” One of the bulky frat guys called and you waved back weakly.

A guy who had been chasing you endlessly scoffed at the pitiful sight and smirked at you, “see you at my house tonight? Been missing you in my bed lately.”

“Thought you would’ve guessed the reason why I stopped coming around.” Jeno heard the sting in your remarks and the disbelief in the male.

You honestly could have left, Jeno knew that. But you stayed and waited patiently for him to finish. Jeno could tell how strong you were just by your intimidating aura that practically suffocated him by standing in close proximity to you.

You sighed and reached to grab your jacket on the folded seat, “look, Jeno. It’s nice to meet you and all, but I gotta get going.”

Shockingly, the shy boy reached out to stop you by your fingertips. His touch lingered before he dropped your hand quickly. “I’m sorry. Are you free this Monday?”

“Uh, that depends. If you’re asking me on a date, then I’m busy.” Rolling your eyes, you weren’t sure why you still stayed to listen to what this random stranger had to say. If it were anyone else, you would’ve walked away the moment he asked if you were free. However, you acknowledged his timidness and the courage he must have mustered up to approach you.

Jeno shook his head violently, completely in shambles from that type of misunderstanding. “Not a date. I need someone to model for my portfolio photos that my internship assigned. It’s actually very important to me because it’s the first internship that responded back to me when I had applied to so many a whole month ago. Basically, I really need this and you because I think you’d be perfect to take pictures of. Oh-- wow! That sounded very bad --- uh --- what I meant is that your facial proportions are perfect and---”

“I’m free Monday.” You cut off his endless ramble and gestured toward his phone. He handed it to you without any hesitation and you typed in your number. “Text me the time, place and what I should wear.”

“Oh actually, it’s a nude photoshoot.” Your eyes doubled in size, completely offended by that statement.

Jeno felt the sudden shift in the air and brought his hands up to block himself, “to be more clear, it’s a contemporary fine art nude photography studio. The pictures are pieces of art and to be seen as that only. I have no intentions or ulterior motive to sleep with you, see you naked or sell, leak your nudes for the profit of your body. But, I understand if you no longer want to do it because it sounds super strange now that I am explaining it.”

Your shoulders relaxed and the fist that formed unraveled. You exhaled deeply, “I’ll do it. We can talk more about it on Monday and I get to leave on my own accord if I don’t feel comfortable. We work on my conditions.” Picking up Jeno’s chin, he was absolutely petrified at the forced eye contact and your incredible, powerful gaze. He was mesmerized by the fire in your eyes, and if he stared any longer, he could’ve lost himself in them.

“Of course.” With that, you dropped his face and left without another look back. Jeno looked down at his phone and the new contact name, (Y/N). It had slipped his mind to even ask what your name was and he slapped his face in utter stupidity. “Do better, Lee Jeno.” It was a remainder to himself to, hopefully, be better the next time you two speak.

Monday, 3:03 PM.

Jeno paced back and forth in the brightly, lit white room. He was trying to find any blinds or curtains to cover the tall windows of the high rise building. It should not be too much of a problem, the extra lighting was a positive. Jeno was only worried for your comfort of the openness.

There was a soft knock before Jeno practically tripped to open the door. His breath hitched at the sight of your bare face. This time, you were the vulnerable one. Jeno only saw purity, yet impressed at how your tired eyes still managed to bid him a soft smile. He admired your uneven complexion, and the sparse moles that dotted your skin.

“Okay, so you want to see me naked now or later?” Filled with jokes, your voice was light and airy this afternoon. There was a bit of a contrast from the first time you two met. Softer, enchanting, almost ghostly.

Everything in the room was white. The mattress on the floor had a white comforter and white sheets. The backdrop. The walls. The hardwood floor. The only color was the blue sky that the tall windows let in.

“Here’s a robe. You can change in the bathroom.” Jeno scratched the back of his neck and his eyes wandered everywhere, but your’s.

“Would you be okay with me just taking off my clothes in here?” You saw the light tint of pink cover his face, and spread to his ears. You examined more of the shy boy’s embarrassed face, finally getting a really good look at him. Jeno was very attractive, and you could only imagine how beautiful he must look if he fully faced you.

Jeno fiddled with his camera strap, “only if you are okay with that.” Clearing his throat, he stood next to the window to give you some privacy. “I’ll go over what I plan on doing. I’m going to take photos of your face details, parts of your body, full body, and portraits. You can lay down on the bed and I’ll direct you in poses. Have you modeled before?”

He was scanning the bustling city below his feet. Cars zoomed quickly and crowds of tiny people flooded the streets. He brought his camera up to his face, not being able to resist the urge to capture such a thrilling sight.

“If Instagram counts, then yeah. Professional model gig would be a no. Nude photography is a definite no, unless we are talking about being filmed during sex.” Jeno chuckled, while also holding the camera steady and stealing a few moments to keep for himself.

For a strange reason, being naked for a non-sensual reason felt even more vulnerable. Laying on the soft fabric, you felt oddly exposed and slightly more reserved. You’ve had countless strangers see you naked. Men were sexually desiring to see a sexy picture. You were always lusted after, but this feeling of nakedness was special.

“Are you ready?” Jeno gulped, finally setting the camera down.

You hummed cheerfully. Your heart was leaping out of your chest as the boy shifted slowly to face you. As he turned, you noticed he had his eyes sealed shut, which caused a small laugh to erupt. “Jeno, you have my permission to open your eyes and to look at me.”

Holy shit, he was trembling with an inexplicable fear. The camera was slipping from his sweaty hands. His mouth was as dry as the desert. Jeno’s pounding heart was loud in his ears.

Jeno has seen his past girlfriends laying naked in bed, but this situation was too different. When he saw you laying there in absolutely nothing, he was overwhelmed, yet astounded at how graceful you appeared.

There was no exchange of words and no exchange of eye contact. He towered over your lying figure and shakily brought the camera to his eyes. He selfishly wanted to capture your elegance. Through the lens, he saw all of you: the curve in your eyelid, your curled eyelashes, the small mole next to your soft lips, the sharp color of your eyes, the way your hair frames your face.

This was the most beautiful sight he’s ever seen. You were comparable to the arts found in popular museums. Your body lines were enticing and an impressive shape. Your breasts pooled on your chest, the round nude nipple in the centers. Your details had to be sculpted by gods, who took their sweet time making you. You were a true masterpiece.

Confused, Jeno felt a huge mixture of emotions. Was he aroused? Was he infatuated? Did he just fall in love with a complete stranger? He recognized the same thrilled feelings he felt taking landscape photos. With each click, he grew more excited with how beautiful the photos were turning out.

“Sit up and rest your chin on your left hand. Lean your weight on your right leg.” Jeno’s direction was clear and firm. There was no evidence of a smaller tone he usually spoke in. Sitting up, you placed your elbow on your upper thigh to steady your chin. Jeno had already gotten down to floor level to you.

Without the camera that separated you two, it had to be the first time he faced you completely in such close proximity. There was so much to admire about Jeno. He remained concentrated on his craft, but it was actually very sexy to see his dedication. It was almost like he was a whole new person, like all the shyness drifted away.

Jeno couldn’t take his eyes off of you. It wasn’t simply your beauty that amazed him. Your confidence made everything easy. There was something about your blank stares, when he asked for an emotion, you portrayed it perfectly.

“Can we talk while you shoot?” Your sudden voice startled the photographer. He lowered his camera and his gaze automatically wandered off behind you, which didn’t go unnoticed. He nodded after a short pause and the shutter noises continued.

“Why did you choose me as your model?”

Jeno peeled away from the device, “because you’re you.” He didn’t even know what that statement meant. It wasn’t like he knew you before the first time he asked you to model for him.

The corners of your lips dipped down, drawing an evident frown. Click. Jeno loved that image especially. It was a simple way to get real, authentic facial expressions. He marveled at the photo, but registered the reason behind it. “I wanted to ask you the second I saw you. I just knew that I wanted you.”

“But you don’t know me.”

Jeno looked through the lens once again, welcoming a full view of your stunning attributes. He spoke in a low voice, “then, let me know you.” Click.

It would be the biggest lie to say that you weren’t aroused by Jeno at the moment. He was cool, without trying to be. He really did shine when he had a camera to work with, like a star to a dark night. While he had a distinct demeanor off the bat, you enjoyed unraveling the rest of him. He was, also, the first man you met that didn’t seem sexually driven by a naked woman in his presence.

You had to resist every urge to push the camera away and share the few seconds of his entire gaze before it wandered away. You wanted to rock his world, he was so innocent and beautiful. You wished to wreak havoc on him, have him show you how much he wanted you.

You anticipated an awkward photoshoot, but Jeno made you feel safe and comfortable. He made sure to adjust the temperature when goosebumps rose on your arms and when your nipples became painfully hard. He never touched you or came too much into your personal space. He always asked for your permission.

Nude modeling was a new experience for you, but you were surprised at how much you liked it. or how much you liked Jeno taking your photos. He sat next to you on the bed when you put on your articles of clothing and panned through several shots to satisfy your curiosity.

Leaning close, your head ducked to see the photos. A gasp escaped your lips when you saw just the first few. “Is that really me?” The pictures made you feel an abundance of emotions, you felt what they reflected. Sadness, melancholy, happiness, confidence. You didn’t know images had that much power to make you feel that, especially photos of you.

Jeno nodded, smiling so wide that his eyes turned to moon crescents. He was so in love with the results. He found respect for Taemin’s craft and he was right, he might’ve found a new forte to experiment with. “I can send you the photos digitally too, if you want them.”

“Maybe I’ll print them out, frame them, and gift it to every horrid man who has tried to flirt their way to my body since they want to see it so fucking bad.”

Jeno peered over and saw the tiny glimpse of pain in your orbs, “why would you give horrible people what they want?”

“So they can finally shut up and leave me alone. Plus, this is art and if I tell them it’s actually me, maybe it’ll change their minds to start treating me like it.”

He held his palm up and almost immediately, your fingers filled the spaces between his. “I’m going to need you to start treating yourself as fine art.”

“Keep taking more photos of me and I just might start thinking I’m Mona Lisa.” Your laughters blended nicely into each other. There was mutual mental acknowledgement of the happiness you were both feeling.

Jeno never let go of your hand, and there was a short moment of comforting silence where you two sat in each other’s existence. You were the one to break it, “are you doing anything after this?”

He shook his head. “Well then, you’re mine for the rest of the night. We’re going to pretend we’ve been close friends since first year and eat take-out on my bed because that’s what I need at the moment.”

“I know you respect my body and see this as an art form, but I’m genuinely surprised that you didn’t feel aroused at the slightest.”

Jeno didn’t even realize how much time had already passed being you. You two ate and chatted as if you’ve known each other forever, as if the friendship wasn’t established several hours ago. It felt safe and right, like you two belonged in each other’s existence and nowhere else mattered.

He felt warm inside from your hearty laughter and courage, like he was watching a painting come to life or a photo in movement. You were smitten over how endearing and complex he was. He was more than what meets the eye and that alone drew you towards him.

“Okay, I’ll admit,” Jeno paused to watch your reaction, “in the most respectable way, I was somewhat turned on. But! Before you trail blaze me for being just like every disgusting male in your life, I genuinely didn’t have any sexual thoughts during the photoshoot. That was all professional and it will continue to be like that.”

Getting up from your bed, your mind was working at lightspeed to process his confession. Jeno was fast to pick up someone’s personality, what stood out and what was kept hidden. He knew quicker than anyone else that you were not someone to offend because you were a strong, straight forward woman.

His personality breakdown went like this: you knew what you like, you knew you were going to get what you want, you enjoyed flirty banter (with people of your choice), you weren’t afraid to be blunt, or kick someone’s ass. You carried yourself with confidence that graced your every step, which makes anyone attracted to you instantly. Bold, confident, sexy had to be what came to mind whenever he thought about you.

Nonetheless, he really liked you as a person. He could pat himself on the back all day long for just approaching you, but he knew the real reason as to how this all happened. It was you saying yes to a stranger’s odd photoshoot. You made him the luckiest man in the world.

“Continue? Are you looking for excuses to keep seeing me?” You smirked and Jeno’s voice grew small.

“I--- uh, well,” there goes the nervous stammering, “I know the conditions were a one time thing, so I understand if you don’t want to do it again.” As the night had progressed, Jeno gradually began to hold eye contact and actually looked at you directly without the help of seeing you through a lens. This was the first time he broke it.

“Hey now, I’m messing with you, Jeno.” He had been sitting on your floor, at the end of your bed. You crawled on your elbows to reach him, and to hold his chin to face you again. Deja vu. “I’d love to get naked for you again, and again, and.. as many times as you want me to.”

He stared at you with his mouth hung open in disbelief. His eyes scanned your beautiful face to see your lips pull back into a mischievous smile. Gulping, he swallowed every ounce of courage he had left. “You don’t have to say it like that.” He tried to remove your grip, but it latched onto his hand.

“You’re finally looking me in the eye, sweet thing. I don’t think you realize how much I had been wanting that from you.” You caressed his cheek, rubbing small circles on his texture.

“What else do you want from me?” His implication sounded suggestive, even if his curiosity was innocent.

Your hot breath brushed against Jeno’s lips. “I can show you.”

Jeno, the one and only college guy who has seen your naked body in a non-sexual context. Jeno, the shy, sweet boy who appreciated and recognized you as a form of art. Jeno, the talented and skillful photographer, who consistently made sure you felt comfortable. Jeno, the only person in the world who you’d model nude for. Jeno, the dazzling character behind the camera who you wanted more than anyone else you’ve ever met. Lee Jeno.

He seemed like he was inching closer, already tilting his head to fit your’s. You smiled to yourself, seeing that your words were received well. Diving in, your lips swam together fervently.

The poor boy found himself lost in your enchanting, alluring gaze. He let the trance consume him, selfishly kissing the art he admired so dearly. A small part of him felt the guilt and confusion that began to rise. He wasn’t sure why he suddenly wished to feel your lips on his neck, or run his hands across your hot skin. He swore these thoughts were not present earlier.

A small pop! and Jeno held your shoulder to pull away. “I’m sorry, did I do something?” You asked, honestly concerned that you were taking more than you deserved. The least you desired was to hurt Jeno, who had been nothing but nice and sweet.

“(Y/N),” you could listen to your name roll off his tongue all day, “I feel somewhat guilty. I don’t want things to be misunderstood.”

“Which would be?”

“I don’t want you to think I coerced you into being my model just because I had intentions to sleep with you.” Jeno was already gathering his things, but you hopped off your bed and placed a hand on his chest. “Because that’s what it’s starting to look like at the moment.”

“Was that something you did though? Did you have those intentions?” Your stare bore right through him. The warmth of your hand relaxed his racing heart.

“Never, (Y/N), I would never do that to someone.” Your hand traveled down to grab his belongings and tossed it back onto the ground.

He silently watched as you took off your pants, and stood in front of him in your underwear. “Then, we’re fine. I know your intentions have always been pure. But truthfully, Jeno, seeing you focused while you worked sparked something in me. You don’t understand how aroused I got and how badly I wanted you to fuck me on that bed.” His hand trailed up your exposed thighs, finally touching your softness. “You’re the one guy I wanted first, and it’s been a long time since I’ve felt that.”

“I-- I don’t know what to say.” His cheeks revealed how embarrassed he was, but his dark, lustful eyes were telling a different story.

A smirk fell upon your face, “then don’t say anything.”

Jeno devoured you, inhaling the light hint of vanilla that still lingered. He hoisted you onto your mattress and kissed you like his life depended on it. His antsy hands roamed your free range, exploring, holding, gripping the parts he marveled over. Small moans from the back of your throat encouraged him to continue.

No one has ever kissed you with the amount of passion Jeno did. It was gentle, with enough vigor to cause your panties to dampen. It wasn’t sloppy, where previous guys had a problem of missing your mouth entirely and slobbered your chin.

His lips worshiped you, highlighting your good sides. Flashes of the photoshoot popped into Jeno’s head as he left purple marks on the places he loved capturing the most. He pushed up your shirt, exposing your chest to him again. His tongue circled around your hard nipple as he made sure to give the same amount of attention to each one.

Jeno knew he was too shy to hold your intense stare, but getting to know you during and after the photoshoot, he could see the softness in your gaze. He was, now, able to see all of you. The sight of you through the camera was addicting enough, so finally taking you all in was more than satisfying.

Your hands ran through his hair as he kissed down your torso. His thumbs hooked the waistband of your underwear, and peeled it off your body. You gasped as the cold air from your apartment grazed against your exposed figure.

Jeno paused to admire your glistening pussy, “would it be okay if you let me make love to you?”

Your heart burned, not out of embarrassment, but at how he still managed to ask you for your permission in the sweetest way. You rested your weight on your elbows, “no one has done that before, would it actually make me want to fall in love with you?”

“It wouldn’t be too bad. I have a lot of love to give and you look like a person who deserves all of it anyways.” Jeno’s finger ran over your wet slit and rubbed your clit slowly.

Your moans filled the room as the electric jolted throughout your veins. The wetness grew, seeping out of you like a waterfall. Jeno dropped down to his knees, and lifted your legs on his broad shoulders.

“Are you usually this wet, baby?”

Chuckling, you smiled at his bold choice in using pet names, “Just for you.”

He hummed, chiming at how he liked your answer. Spreading you open, his tongue met with your swollen bud that begged for his licks.

His tongue darted side to side, up and down and in result, your back arched in pleasure and a darkness clouded your mind. His name and mindless profanities streamlined their way out of you as Jeno ate you out in such a precisely delicious way.

Grabbing a fist full of hair, you pulled him closer, even if there was no more space to fill. Looking down, you two exchanged glances before he thrusted a finger into you. Your hips bucked harder as he eased in another one.

Jeno curled his fingers in search of your sweet spot and found it when a deep moan escaped your throat. His fingertips rubbed and pressed into your plush flesh, causing you to practically scream and squirm in his mouth.

He suckled your clit and fingered you simultaneously and quickly. The pleasure was overflowing and you released his hair to grip your sheets below you. Your legs shook and trembled as he had no caution to stop.

“Please, I’m going to--” you could barely talk due to your face contouring to the splurge of pleasure every single time Jeno rubbed your spot. “--to explode.”

He had to take back what he thought earlier in the day. This was the most beautiful sight he’s ever laid eyes on. The whole scene played like from one of his favorite films. It felt like he was giving his photos life. Your body twisted and turned, accentuating the curves of your lines.

Jeno had become painfully hard against the fabric of his jeans, but seeing you fall apart because of his minimal movements exhilarated him. “P-Please, don’t stop.” A breathy moan followed suit and your thighs tried to press themselves together. Jeno didn’t allow it, his free hand hooked underneath your left thigh to pull one side away from his cheeks.

Your high gradually grew so tall that it all eventually came cascading down. Your legs shook violently and sat up from the euphoria that took over you. Jeno prolonged your buzz and you screamed loudly, having to bite down on your fingers to stop yourself from angering your neighbors.

Jeno drank you up, letting your wetness cover his chin and drip down his knuckles. He pulled away, at last, and you took deep breaths to control your heavy breathing. It was like Jeno knocked the wind completely out of you.

He stood up and you saw the outline of his hard bulge straining itself through his jeans. The next scene was quite animalistic. You, still embodying your high, sat on your knees and unzipped his pants with your needy hands.

“Now, it’s your turn to get nude for me.” You whispered, tauntingly. Jeno groaned when you reached down and gently pulled him out. He stepped out of his clothing, all of it. His shirt was lost in the corner and his bottoms were scattered over your floor. Mirroring his actions, you took off your last piece of cloth.

Jeno was built. Though his biceps did not go unnoticed during the photoshoot, you were surprised at the lines of muscle that sketched his body. It made your mouth water, seeing his extremely hard dick stand against his toned abs. His red tip fell just below his navel. Jeno only kept getting better as the night continued on.

Pulling him closer, his hand found their way to the back of your head as you aligned your mouth to the wetness that spilled from his tip. “I want to make you feel good.” Jeno’s hoarse voice made your knees weak.

Peering up, you batted your eyelashes at him fondly. “Just a little taste?” You begged, having to hold his shaft with both of your hands because of his thickness. Your tongue was already stuck out, your hot breath causing the tiniest bit of sensation for him.

He nodded and his eyes were trained on you. He didn’t want to miss any second of your kitty licks. You flattened your tongue against his warmth, dragging it up to the top. The saltiness hit your palette as you swirled around his redness. “Oh--” Jeno threw his head back and bit his lip, “--lay on the bed now.”

You smiled sweetly and gave his member a quick kiss before reaching for a condom in your drawer. Jeno climbed onto your bed and situated the rubber comfortably. You laid on your back and he was fast to pull your legs around his waist.

He lined himself at your entrance and eased his tip in slowly. Squirming, you craved him to fill you up to the brim. He leaned down to kiss you, letting your tongue lap with his. It’s your hands with the mind of their own when they flew automatically to hold his face whenever you wanted to deepen the kiss. Then, Jeno stretched himself all the way in and he caught your gasp with his lips. He groaned, feeling the mess he created merely minutes ago.

His hips moved so easily with your wetness, but he went slow. Dragging out each pull and then, pushing himself back in roughly. “Jeno!” Your body jolted up the bed each time. His body fell over yours to hold you intimately, letting you bury your face into his neck. Your lips latched themselves onto his sensitive skin, painting a purple sunset.

Jeno’s arms snaked underneath your thighs as he pressed them to your chest, folding you almost into a ball. Your mouth hung open as he fucked you harder, rougher, deeper yet keeping the tempo rhythmically slow. At this point, you could feel his hits in your gut. Your weak hands gripped loosely around his strong wrists that held your legs down. “You’re pussy is so tight and holy shit---, you keep getting more beautiful.”

A familiar burning sensation set in your chest as you saw how concentrated his face had become. You were so fucked out that you could barely speak, “you—” his hips mercilessly slammed into you powerfully, enacting a low moan every time he reached your sweet spot. “—keep surprising me.” His actions came to a halt and he stared deeply into your soul.

You whined, wiggling your hips for any friction. He held them down into the mattress, knowing his grip was strong enough to leave a mark. “I told you, I was going to make love to you tonight.”

“I’ve already fallen for you.” You said breathlessly, tracing the side of his face and pecking his lips softly.

“You don’t understand what you’re doing to me by saying those things.” He whispered and pushed his entire shaft to fill you to your brim.

You yelped his name and gripped his shoulders, but he wasn’t done yet. “Show me how badly you wanted me the first time you saw me.” Jeno blinked at you in slight shock.

As he continued to hold the deep gaze, he kept pushing his dick further and further into you. He was balls deep, almost impossible to keep going. He fucked you without the need to pull out, just burying his cock deeper into your wet pussy. You exclaimed, moaned, cussed at every push. Holding the stare was more than enough to lose yourself all over him again.

Jeno was drunk with the image of your fucked out expression and every time the mixture of pleasure and pressure caused your eyebrows to crease and mouth to open release sensual sound. He had been trying his best not to come undone, to fixate another climax for you.

The feeling of you wrapping tighter and tighter around him drove him insane. “Give it to me, please.” Your muffled plead called for his release, but he could feel that you were close to your second.

Jeno sat up on his knees and pulled you into his arms where your thighs fell over his. You groaned at the empty feeling, though it was quickly replaced with a gratifying moan when he inserted himself again. Your arms dangled around his neck, foreheads touching intimately.

The fucking eye contact again, how could you get enough of it? You giggled, amused at how different Jeno was when he eventually opened up. He wrapped his strong arms around your back and thrusted his hips up into you. The way this man made you squirm, scream, and shake were nothing you’ve experienced before.

He smirked, placing a gentle kiss on your cheek when he went rampage on your pussy. “Not laughing now, are you?”

You whined in pleasure, brushing your fallen strands of hair out of his face. “Shut up before I make you.”

“Then I’d rather keep going.” Kissing up his jawline, you lead your way to his pout. His kisses intoxicated you with his passion and madness, like the most intense part of a symphony, or when the bass drops after a long build up in a song.

Jeno sped up, ramming up into your slick pussy over and over again. He even brought your hips down to match him, guiding you down as he went up. The headboard was knocked against the wall, your windows steamed up, cries of pleasure from the both of you created the ambiance, the smell of sex filled your lungs. Jeno reached between your bodies to furiously rub your clit to where it felt almost raw. It all sent you into the clouds, the familiar queasiness settled in your lower half.

Your eyes rolled back and your back arched, having to pull away from the desirous kiss with Jeno. “I’m cumming!” You announced before the tension unraveled, causing you to see absolute white. The second wave was much more uncontrollable, Jeno felt you squeezing radically around his dick as he tried to fuck you faster to prolong the feeling.

Your legs shook around his and your upper body went limp with pleasure. You reached the peak of the mountain and it came crumbling down underneath your toes. It was catastrophically enthralling, to the point where you physically felt something leave your body.

“Oh shit..” Jeno stopped his motions at the sight of you squirting over his lap. He pampered your torso with fluttering kisses, hoping to calm your spastic body. “...baby, are you okay?” He asked with a bit of concern of how lack of life you seemed.

This man just gave you the best climax in your whole life and he asked if you were okay? Regaining your senses, you sighed a small yes to reassure him that he didn’t actually murder you. Hopping off, you pulled the condom that restricted him.

He hissed when you cupped his balls in your palm. “Cum, my sweet thing.” You purred and Jeno’s hand pumped his member aggressively. You leaned in to help, sucking the tip and flicking your tongue over his slit.

His other hand gripped your neck, causing you to drip on your sheets. Jeno was panting and with every tug, it became louder. He seemed so desperate to release that it made you smile to be the reason behind it. “Can you lay down,” A grunt followed his question, “please.” He huffed.

“Because you asked nicely.” Smirking, your back hit the sheets and you opened your legs to give Jeno a view. He situated himself above your stomach, as he fucked his tight grip.

“I’m cumming---” He couldn’t look any more amazing. With a final moan, the white streaks streamed out in short sequences. It landed across your abdomen, over your nipple, and pooled around your belly button.

Bringing himself back to reality, Jeno stepped back to marvel you, his masterpiece. The white streaks coated your purple skin and your chest rose fast to catch your reality. Gazing upon your naked body, he was utterly infatuated with all of you. He was so in love with the sight of you that not a single photo could capture the beauty that you were.

Jeno pondered the thought of how merely a day changed a small part of him. You were life changing, addicting, an incomparable character that he felt like he’s known forever, and now, couldn’t live without. It was the taste of your juices on his lips, your sweet melodic music that was your voice, your daring smile that enticed him to never peel away from you. It was simply you.

He leaned down to rub his knuckles against your cheek, planting a lovingly peck on your forehead. “I’ll go start the water for you.”

Jeno anticipated the reaction of his mentor. He found himself at the same scene he was when he was first given the task. Taemin sat across from him, hunched forward to analyze his new set of photos on his laptop. Raw, unedited photos of you, your body, your details.

The hum of the air conditioning droned on, driving him mad. Jeno needed one reaction, but Taemin had been silent and expressionless for the past ten minutes. Whenever he did move, it was to click through to the next picture.

Suddenly, he shut it closed and stood right up. Jeno, panicked, did the same. Taemin stuck his hand out and Jeno hesitantly grabbed it, incredibly unsettled and unable to read the older man.

Taemin received it firmly, giving Jeno a good handshake. “Welcome abroad, Lee Jeno. I expect even more great things from you.”

Jeno registered his delightful mood switch and he was fast to follow up, “my photos, --- you --- like them?”

Taemin nodded generously, patting Jeno on his shoulder. Taemin reached up to tap his own eyelids. “What you can see, is very special, kid. You’re an artist and I’m here to recognize that for you. It seems to me, you can do more than take pictures of sidewalks.”

Jeno smiled happily, his eyes disappearing from joy. He couldn’t wait to tell you about it.

The rest of the week, leading up to Jeno’s appointment, had felt nothing short of blissful moments together. You and Jeno spent almost every waking minute together without the cost of your friends’ time. He walked you to your classes, some even being across the campus from his own. You accompanied him for meals, even sitting in his lectures to just be with him.

There were no words that established what you two had become to each other. Jeno wasn’t looking for that anyways, in fact, he somewhat liked the ambiguity. If only he could tell you how making love to you made him begin to actually fall for you.

You were never one to hold a serious relationship, but you found a small want for that festering in Jeno. It was hard to admit to yourself, but Jeno saw you for all that you were. He truly saw you, whether it had been through a lens or through his own eyes. He captured your rawness and you were able to find vulnerability around him.

He ran to you, where you sat in the lobby waiting for him to finish his meeting. Peering up from your phone, you noticed the beaming smile on the boy’s face. You couldn’t hold back your own grin, seeing him apparent with so much joy. “I’m guessing good things?”

“I got it, (Y/N)!” He jumped into your arms and you laughed at the sudden affection. “He loved my photos.”

“I didn’t doubt it for one second. You’re an artist, Jeno. You create masterpieces that make even someone like me, feel like art.”

Jeno hugged you closer to his chest, giving you a tiny squeeze. Pulling away to face you, his eyes examined your outstanding grace. You knew what he was already going to say, but simply wanted to hear him say it. “That’s because you are art.”

3K notes · View notes

miraeluc · 4 years

Text

you’re suffering alone

prompt: “kageyama knows you as his little ray of sunshine, but what does he do when he finds out how you really feel?”

pairing: kageyama x female! reader

word count: 3k

warnings: MAJOR tw!!! depression, again major tw self harm, reader cries a lot when kageyama finds out, reader’s mom is dead lol i went all out

genre: fluff, angst

you were always their little ray of sunshine

when you first joined the school a year ago and introduced yourself all excitedly

hinata ran to tanaka after that class

“we need to convince her to be our manager!!!!”

tanaka was down lol

it didn’t take long to convince you, you were looking for extracurricular activities to engage in anyway

the conversation went a bit like this

“y/n-san! do you want to be karasuno’s volleyball team manager?”

“sure!”

“we swear it- did you just say yes?”

“...yes”

cue tanaka and hinata screaming

after you became their manager it didn’t take you and kageyama too long to fall in love either

he adored the good vibes you brought with in any room you stepped in and you enjoyed the calmness that came with him (except when hinata’s around to annoy him, pretty boy radiates ᵃⁿᵍʸ energy then lol)

poor boy didn’t know that what he felt towards you until he had the whole team screaming at him to ask you out

so he did

and so you ended up here, 10 months into dating kageyama and 12 months into being karasuno’s manager along with kiyoko and hitoka

everyone found it a little weird that you were always the one to stay the longest out of everyone, but everyone assumed it was just because you genuinely enjoyed being there

which you did, don’t get me wrong

that just wasn’t the only reason.

no one actually knew why you had changed schools in the middle of the year

every time someone asked you pushed it off, claiming your old school just wasn’t working out and started babbling about how much you love being at this school and how glad you are to have found real friends like them

“time for a break, i brought food!!”

you held the bags of food up, getting tackled in a gross sweaty hug by nishinoya

“it’s like you heard my stomach calling out for you, y/n!!! you’re my saviour!!!”

you immediately laughed

“i know, noya, now get off, you’re sweaty” you cringed a little and he got off, a little offended but he quickly forgot about it and snatched the bags

you were all sat on the ground, everyone eating quietly when hinata started complaining about his mother nagging him to focus a little more on studying

that’s how everyone started talking about their mothers, somehow everyone having a little to complain about

“what ‘bout you, y/n? you have nothing to remark about your mom like our little crybabies here?” daichi looked at you

everyone whined at that,, “we’re not babies!!”

you tensed up at the question before relaxing and smiling

“nope! my mom is perfect.” you giggled

“woah, i wish!! you need to introduce me to your mom, y/n!!”

noya was very invested in your mom being perfect, lol

you see

kageyama here is very observant, whether it be on the court or just, well, people in general

he saw you tense up for that split-second, not pressing it further

he knows you most likely aren’t ready to talk about it

now that he thinks about it, you never talk about your family

he’d love to know but he understands that you’ll come to him when you’re ready to tell him and he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable by nagging you about it

“i’ll introduce you to her, noya” you giggled

his face lit up and he nodded before the topic changed again and you could now also speak to them about how annoying and hard math class is

fr tho i hate math

after they were done eating no one could move anymore, let alone practice

hinata tried

keyword tried

he threw up....

no one else even wanted to practice after that - opting to clean up and end practice for today instead

“kageyama, ill head out a bit early today, i’ve got some stuff to do” you said

you startled the shit out of him because he was just bringing the last volleyball to the cart

“HO- oh.” he stopped himself from screaming and turned to you

“alright, just take care..” he mumbled, ruffling your hair which made you whine and fix it

you hate when he does that

he thinks your reaction is adorable

you scoffed and pulled him down to your height to plant a little kiss on his cheek

he blushed, pda isnt for him

you loved his soft side so much

nonetheless he smiled at you and straightened up again

“call me if anything happens” he cleared his throat

baby was a little awkward with stuff like this

you didn’t mind though

you nodded and smiled “will do!”

and off you were lol

hinata then popped up infront of kageyama

“what’d you do to her!?!?!?! she never leaves early!!!!!!!”

kageyama pushed him away by the head

“she just has stuff to do, shut up.”

“hey, mom..” you smiled lightly as you sat down

“nishinoya is really looking forward to meeting you! the whole team asked about you today.. today was an ok day, i was pretty distracted all day so i didn’t have the time to feel sad again.”

...

you sighed

“but, you know, it’s been getting harder lately. it seems that getting out of bed to get to school is getting harder.. i love making everyone happy, but it’s hard being the provider and never getting something in return. sometimes, when things get hard, i just want to drop everything. i want to stop acting so bubbly and happy, but i know you wouldn’t want me to lose my smile.”

you stood up

“i’ll get going then, i love you.”

you placed the flowers down on the grave before you, staring down at it with a sad smile before making your way home, yet again

the next day you showed up to school as you usually did, taking your seat next to kageyama after greeting him like usual

you were having a conversation with hinata

it was too early for kageyama to speak

everyone was confused when you didn’t show up to practice that day

kags(｡◝‿◜｡) , 2:47pm: are you not coming to practice?

y/n, 2:49pm: no baby, i’m sorry :( i really can’t tODAY, im so upset over it

kags(｡◝‿◜｡), 2:50pm: did something happen?

kags(｡◝‿◜｡), 2:53pm: y/n?

y/n, 3.26pm: nope, i just have some stuff to do at home (╥﹏╥)

the next day you showed up like usual again, this time attending practice too

just like that the days seemed to go by in a blur for you

day by day you felt yourself breaking more

day by day the scars on your hips multiplied

and day by day it got a little harder to make the room light up when you stepped inside

it was after practice and it was only you, nishinoya and kageyama left

“hey, y/n, can i finally meet your mom today??”

he was pressing around so much about it

you smiled and shrugged,

“sure, i bet she doesn’t mind a visit”

“can i come too?” kageyama asked timidly and you nodded

“of course.. it’s about time.” you smiled

your eyes were a little glassy

he frowned

nishinoya was too busy getting excited over meeting the first ever perfect mother to notice and he began dragging you out “let’s go then!”

he was pulling you to the direction of your place before you abruptly stopped

“ah-ah, i didn’t say i still live with her, did I?”

you had both boys confused now and you started walking into the right direction

you intertwined your fingers with kageyama’s

he squeezed your hand a little

he knew you needed a little support

only did he not expect you to lead them to the cemetery

nishinoya’s smile dropped when you actually entered the cemetery

he saw it but he expected you to walk past

you stopped in front of your mothers grave

“there she is.” you let out a sigh

kageyama felt his heart drop

“wait, y/n, i’m so sorry for pressing this so mu-”

kageyama pulled you in a tight hug, shaking his head at the boy, who now went quiet

he felt so horrible

you were trying so hard to hold your tears back, looking at noya

“don’t worry, you didn’t know.”

you still smiled at him

kageyama then spoke

“it’s best if you go home, don’t you think?”

he didn’t even sound angry at this point

nishinoya nodded and left

he really felt so bad

you couldn’t hold back and broke out in tears after

this was the first time you cried in front of your boyfriend

he didn’t expect it to hurt this much

hearing your little sobs break through you

he could feel his own heart breaking as he tightened the hug

neither of you said anything

he just let you cry into his chest

he didn’t need to tell you he was there for you with words

he told you through gently patting your back as you cried

he told you through not judging you when you cried like this

even when it started raining and the rain was slowly seeping through both of your clothes he didnt loosen his grip on you

he let you finish crying

however long it took

and when you finally looked up at him, only the moon’s light illuminating your face, he felt his heart break, again, at the sight of your puffy eyes and red nose

he wanted to protect you from all bad things, forever.

“gosh, i’m sorry, it took me so long to stop crying..”

he shook his head and pecked your forehead quickly “no. you didn’t.”

“..is this why you always avoided talking about your mother?”

you nodded, looking down at her grave, the flowers you placed there two days ago already droopy

you then looked up at him again

“thank you, for.. supporting me..”

nishinoya apologised about 27 times when he saw you

you kept reassuring him that it was alright but he felt so bad

he felt so bad he couldn’t even properly play that day

daichi sent him home early

“come back when you dont have two left legs!!!”

practice ended soon after that anyway

you sat on a bench, filling out the last bits of your homework so you didnt have to do it at home, not even noticing that it was just you and kageyama left until he called out to you

“hey, y/n, mind throwing me some balls? i’m not tired yet and i want to keep practicing”

you happily helped

you admired his determination to get better daily

it was refreshing, seeing him so passionate about volleyball

how couldn’t you help when he asked like that

that’s how he was now practicing as you were talking

“can you come over tonight?”

you furrowed your brows

“but it’s a school night?”

he shrugged “i don’t care. you haven’t been at my place for three entire weeks! i only see you at school, i miss you.” he was honest

he really missed you and he wanted to know what was up with your lame excuses every time he asked

you then nodded

“alright then, i’ll come.”

whilst he was busy drinking water you tried ‘passing’ the ball (at which you horribly failed)

“look, i’m a better setter than you!”

he chased you down lol

you took him by surprise when he finally caught you, grabbing onto your hips, followed by a loud intake of breath and a wince from you

fuck

well

he obviously immediately let go

“y/n. what’s wrong?”

you sighed and turned towards him

“um.. i.. hit my hip earlier today..?” you trailed off and he immediately knew that you were lying

honestly, he kind of had an idea of what it was

he just didn’t want to think of that possibility

he might be a bit slow, but he’s not stupid

he has a slight idea why you haven’t been coming over

he notices how the circles under your eyes have gotten darker

he notices how you sleep in classes, which is something you never do

and he’s so, so worried

but he’s scared to approach you

he’s scared to confirm his worst fears

he shook his head at you “don’t lie.”

you sighed softly “kageyama, it’s nothing.”

you avoided his gaze and he shook his head again, now unable to hold back from speaking

“no, y/n. you’re not okay, i know you’re not. i know that you struggle every day and i know you don’t like speaking about it, but i just can’t keep watching you suffer in silence, i do give you your space, but not when it truly concerns your well-being to the point i cant touch you or see you as often as i’d like to!”

he stopped and took a deep breath, shaking his head

“let’s go home first, i want to talk about this in a place i can do more for you.”

you were speechless

you never had expected him to notice anything, let alone speak up about it

you were so lost in thought you let him drag you to his room quietly

you snapped back to reality when he was unlocking his door, walking inside when it was open - you following

you sat on his bed, still not knowing what to say

how the tables turn, usually its kageyama being the quiet one and you being the one to fill the silence with unnecessary babbling lol

he looked at you, uncertainty swimming in his eyes

“can i see?”

you immediately knew what he was talking about, looking down

you pondered over it a little before nodding

he crouched down before you, looking up at you

“you know you can trust me, right?”

you furrowed your brows “of course”

“you don’t need to hide your feelings from me, baby, i love you through all of your emotional states, i love seeing you happy but i like comforting you when you feel sad too, you mustn’t hide your feelings.”

your eyes filled with tears at that one sentence

i love you through all of your emotional states

“thank you..” you sniffled

“i mean it. it hurts me when you hide it, it makes me feel so helpless, i don’t want to watch you crumble before my eyes, please, talk to me..”

“i just feel so hopeless, kags.. my heart feels so dull lately.”

you finally let in

“it feels like every single day repeats itself and all of my responsibilities are so hard to fulfill..it’s so hard turning up to school, bringing positive energy with me when all i feel is my sadness taking over my entire self bit by bit.”

he was listening, now sat on the floor before you, chin resting on your knee as you spoke

“but you’re not responsible for anyone’s happiness except yours. i don’t like when you prioritise others before yourself, y/n.. i don’t say it often but you’re truly so important to me and i don’t want you to lose yourself only because you try to make others happy.. it isn’t worth it, we love you for you, i can assure you, no one from our group would judge you for feeling down, we all have bad days, gosh, we all have bad weeks or even months! hiding these feelings will only worsen your pain and lead you to.. do irrational things..” he said, fingertips tracing over your hip gently

“let me see first and then we’ll talk about how we’re fixing this, ok?”

you sniffled and nodded, letting him pull the side of your pants down enough to reveal to him what he feared most

seeing the cuts scattered on your skin broke him, truly.

he gulped and stood up, leaving to get you a pair of his shorts

“put these on, this way i can tend to them better.” he said, wanting to clean it up first before telling you his thoughts about it

you nodded and changed into the shorts, him trying not to break down there and then as he left to get some stuff

when he came back you were patiently waiting for him and let him clean the cuts with some alcohol (not without complaining at the stings) before he bandaged them up as best as he could

he then laid down and pulled you with him, hugging you

“oh my precious y/n..” he mumbled

he was hugging your head to his chest to hide the fact that he was tearing up

he wanted to help you so bad but he knew exactly that he couldn’t just end your suffering and it hurt him

“but why? why do you do that to yourself?”

his voice cracked when he asked and you looked up, realisation hitting you

you hurt him so bad by doing this.

the person you loved and cherished most

“it felt like the only escape”

he caressed the top of your head

“pressuring you into stopping won’t help and isn’t worth it, but please, when you feel like.. doing that, call me instead. i’ll be at your place in no time and- even if you don’t want to talk i can just hug you and keep you company-”

you cut him off by pressing your lips against his

“i will, baby. i’ll call you whenever i feel down from now on”

he nodded “thank you”

he was thanking you as if he wasn’t the one helping you right now

you now hugged him back, “i’m sorry for not saying earlier..”

he hummed “lets just lay here. you’ll get better, i promise.”

he kept his promise

ever since that day, he’s been calling you morning and night, making sure you felt good waking up and going to bed

he often called you through entire nights

he made you slowly start to understand that your purpose wasn’t to make anyone happy but yourself

he made you realise you were more than a mere person that’s always happy

and he made you understand that showing your feelings wasnt something to be embarrassed about

(the entire team was very supportive too when they found out you were struggling! kageyama didn’t explain the details though)

so yep.

you had kageyama and a bunch of friends that were supporting you

and for the first time, you felt hopeful for the future, your mother watching over you proudly after years of struggling and even having to move schools for a fresh start

she could now rest easily, knowing your guardian angel found his way to you and won’t ever leave you.

a/n: YALL I MADE MYSELF EMO WITH THIS ONE:( i hope you enjoyed it & please leave comments about it!

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wizkiddx · 4 years

Text

a friendly face

a lil one inspired from seeing the recent interviews abt cherry - yes im a couple days late but am very slow. This is basically stolen and adapted from another of my stories so I don't think there's any bits left over by my dyslexic proof reading isnt that great so apologies!!! very speech heavy so sorry am trying to balance my writing more

Summary: Tom is having a hard time filming Cherry and dealing with the emotional baggage of it, so Harry recruits someone to make everything that little bit better.

tomhollandxreader

fluff and a little angst I guess?

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Harry, Tom and their driver Sian where all sitting in the car having left the set 20 minutes ago, heading back to their accommodation. Or more precisely, Harry and Sian sat in the two front seats- Harry only in the front as to allow Tom to lie down across the three back seats. He was asleep, or at least looked asleep, but Harry knowing his brother so well knew he was just wishing he was. The day had been torturous for Tom, they’d been filming a hospital sequence in which his character was heart broken. The sequence had involved him being thrown onto the floor multiple times, by a heavy handed stunt double who was not nearly as precise as those he’d worked with at ‘marvel’. Furthermore, there was also multiple scenes of him having to properly cry on camera, which although it sounds tame, is one of the hardest things you can ever ask an actor to do. At least, someone who commits half as much as Tom. For him to show that emotion, he had to go back to a place in his life where he didn’t really ever want to venture again. But even then, this character was such a fuck up, he had to do deeper. He felt completely drained, emotionless and cold. But he couldn’t sleep, not for the guilt he felt for being short with everyone on set- he had never been like that before, he just felt like no one was respecting or understanding what he was going through. So instead he just lay on his side, facing the backs of the leather seats, arms folded in stubbornness- even if he had no idea why.

“Tom?…Tom, I know you’re awake… Look, we need to make a quick stop. You gotta come out.” Harry was actually slightly nervous his brother would just point blank refuse, even if he needed this so bad.

“I just need to get back to the apartment. Please Harry. Can’t we do it tommorrow?” The desperation dripping off Tom’s voice actually pained Harry to listen to. He knew Tom was having a crisis about how he treated everyone today, so chose to ignore his please in favour of some assurance.

“You know everyone understands… They just kept asking me if you were alright?” Harry could see the guilt radiating off Tom. It hurt him to see his big brother like this.

“Please… I just need to get back” His small voice barely made it to the front of the car, but Harry heard it all.

“It will take 2 minutes tops, I had a delivery but I need a hand carrying it, come on” Harry spoke as Sian turned on the indicator to pulled up next to the sidewalkpavement; the car slowing to a gentle halt. Tom didn’t reply, instead huffing as he used the head rest of the middle seat to pull himself up. Already out the car, Harry opened the door for him waiting patiently, because Harry knew he would be a hundred times better off in just a few moments.

“What the hell have you even ordered that’s so big?” Tom sighed while ducking through the door into the cold Cleveland air, keeping his eyes on the sidewalk as Harry motioned for him to follow his feet.

“Oh um don’t know, a good friend sent it actually” Harry tried to hide the grin that was spread over his face from showing in his voice, as he saw a very familiar head of hair running toward them.

“What friend?” Tom looked up sassily toward Harry, shortly questioning who would send Harry a parcel from England that was too big to be delivered or carried by himself. Only then, nearly 5 metres away from Sian in the car, did Tom look up to see where they were. It wasn’t the nearest post office or delivery warehouse - they were at the airport. “Harry what’s going on?” Tom questioned with a low and warning voice, skipping a step or two in order to catch up with his younger brother.

“We’re collecting her” Harry smiled as he nodded forward. Following his gaze with eyes wide open, Tom turned forward just in time to see Y/h/c flying over his face as he was engulfed by someones arms. Immediately sensing exactly who this was, Tom did not hesitate to wrap his arms around your waist and push his head into your neck. Smelling the familiar perfume, Tom couldn’t help but scoff, allowing a the jerky breath to leave his lungs as you arched away from the hug, cupping Tom’s face with both her hands.

“I’ve been reliably informed you could use a friendly face” you smiled, noticing his raw emotions threatening to overtake him, so swiftly pressing just pressing your lips onto his. Seemingly frightened to move, Tom barely reacted to the kiss, so you pushed and deepened into it a little more- till you felt him relaxing against you. With that, you arched away again and smiled massaging his stubbly hair behind his left ear.

“How are you here?” He croaked staring deeply at her, switching between her left and right eye as if that somehow would confirm that this was real, not some cruel dream he was having.

“Someone somewhere knew you were in need and bought me a plane ticket over… I’m coming home with you on monday” You grinned while watching Tom’s eyes light up, he leaned in again to your lips instead of replying.

“Er-cuh-huh” Harry loudly cleared his throat, causing the two to pull away from each other. “Sorry to interrupt, but Sian isn’t really allowed to stop there long sooo” They both nodded, before Tom lunged at his brother, holding him close and whispering thanks too. It was clear this was at least partly Harry’s doing, and he could never thank his brother enough.

“Umm.. as much as I’m enjoying this brotherly love we really do have to get back in the car” Harry awkwardly spoke as he almost pushed Tom off him.

“Awww my favourite little brother being all mature” You giggled, taking your turn to hug Harry, admittedly a little shorter than Tom’s, but still with lots of gratitude.

“Please get stop loving me and get back into the car!” Harry yelled as he stormed off to Sian, leaving both you and Tom in fits of laughter. Grasping each others hand simultaneously the laughter continued as you followed Harry down the street to the car.

Seeing you standing there; feeling your arms wrapped round his neck ; hearing your oh so sweet voice had Tom feeling…. Feeling lighter. It was as though your mere presence gave him the strength to carry all the things that were previously weighing him down like a truck. What was extraordinary though, was how it wasn’t just psychological. He literally felt his joints feel looser, he felt his body flood with warmth and he felt his heart calming down. When you’d first been getting close to each you’d had rather the opposite effect. Which was surprising because that was at the point Tom had never felt more confident - he had just returned form a avengers press tour, where naturally everyone had just loved him and played up to his every whim. He had legions of girls, some of them drop dead gorgeous where falling at his feet. And yet, when he met you it was as though he was transported back into his incredibly awkward teenage years. It was infuriating, he knew he could act cool and unbothered and smooth however as soon as you stood informant of his it was like his mind melted, filling it with utter gibberish and garble. In fact, he was plainly floored by you - how kind and pure hearted you were, how respectful and how you found hhis jilted flirting adorable and not to forget how drop dead gorgeous you are.

It had taken a while and a hell of a lot of opening up, but over time he found the opposite happening. Your presence became something else entirely, not one that would put him on his toes and have his heart racing - more of a comfort. He slept better when you were beside him, his nerves never got the better of him if you were there to cheer him on. He could relax completely without any fear of judgement, any worry at all with you. What you had done is change the definition of something so fudemental and a given in life. You’d changed home from a place to something much more intangible. A person; a feeling; a connection. You were his home.

“Sian are we close?” You asked, turning your attention away from the two brothers annecdotes from filming, realising Sian must’ve been driving for about 30 minutes.

“Yep just the next right I think” Sian replied gently while turning the wheel as the indicator clicked.

“Where are we going?” Tom asked, looking first at you then pleadingly at Harry- knowing he had more of a chance with his brother.

“Well” You started and he whipped his head back round “I know it’s late and you’ve been working all day, but you have alater 10 o’clock call time tomorrow instead of 6, so this is the best night to do something. We found a driving range-with heaters” which was a very important factor since Cleveland was bloody freezing “- that we thought you’d like to play a game or two?” The massive smile in response meant you’d hit the nail on the head.

“And soz but I’m crashing the game otherwise- and no offence, but you would win waayyyy toooo easy Tom” Harry butted in and sniggered as he interrupted the lovey-dovey stares. You gasped at that in mock offence, holding your hand over your chest.

“Oi you, Paddy has been teaching on the Holland boys days out you both missed- I’ll have you know I now am aware that you have to get the ball into the hole, not a goal as previously thought.”

The boys both groaned in unison and Y/n wiggled her eyebrow grinning, elbowing Tom slightly in the side. “Things might have changed since you left you know?”

Yet another thing Tom loved so completely about you, was how effortlessly you had fitted into his family. Honestly, none of the Hollands could imagine life without you anymore - especially Nikki, who had quite literally attempted adopting you so she officially wasnt the only female in the immediate family. Sam used you as an expert taster for all his marvellous culinary creations (even if your judgement was always the same, it was very good); Dom often ended up picking your brains about your work, he found you ‘actual proper’ job as a doctor simply amazing , where all his family had never been especially acadmeically gifted; and Paddy just plain saw you as his older sister. So it was hardly surprising at all that when two of their actual kids flew across the world , you’d been the obvious placeholder. Yes, golf was most definitely your forte - but you were enthusiastic, with a positive (if flightily misguided) give it a go attitude.

The try-try-and-try-again attitude that never really worked … until Paddy taught you how to hit a clean drive.

“I am not joking, I am asking the lady at the desk there’s no way!”

“Tom you are the worst looser I have ever met! I didn’t cheat, I’ve just taken up a new hobby”

“There is no way Tom… no way she can get that good” Harry huffed as he ran straight past you to catch up with Tom, making sure that you did see the harsh glare he shot him. The outrage that Y/n had beaten them both at the driving range was way worse than anything you could’ve predicted- now you sort of were wishing you’d let them win. Oh wait…. Of course you weren’t - this was priceless. Especially their faces when you’d launched your first ball super accurately inn the centre of the second furthest away target. They had reacted as if you had just stripped butt naked, you thought; standing their jaws hanging with a look of almost fear in their eyes.

“You could see the balls land with your own eyes! Practice makes perfect!”

“Thats not fair though! It took you like 8 weeks to be like that?”

“I mean you were obviously just taught by the wrong Holland, Paddy’s a pretty good teacher!” You smiled as your trio turned the corner and walked through reception, seeing Harry desperate to ask the receptionist but Tom just looking over his shoulder to give a hurt look to at you.

“I’m going to ban you from being closer to my brothers than me”

“I can’t help if he’s cuter then you alright?” You smirked and raised an eyebrow, as Tom stopped in his tracks and turned to face you.

“That’s it… your gonna get it” he spoke in a low voice, with a mischievous look in his eye, abruptly he launched himself at you - barely having time to swerve away from him and start a sprint towards the exit, giggling as you took a glance back to see Tom chasing you out, Harry quickly in tow too.

“Your not allowed to beat me at golf!” In a jokey voice, you heard Tom yell, just as you reached the sleek black 4x4 and hurdling yourself into it.

“I’m in the car it’s a no fight zone!” You cowered in the corner,back pressed up against the opposite door and arms crossed to make an ‘x’ sign in front of her body.

“That is not how it works” Tom and Harry grinned from the open door. As fast as lightning they both vaulted in and started tickling you, making you screech curses at the two of them.

“Alright alright kids, no fighting while I’m driving thats an order.” Sian calmly spoke, trying to hide the laughter from her voice, as the two men retreated and helped to pull you up from the position half on the floor that your squirming had gotten you to.

“Get off my leg Tom… arghhh… thanks Sian, I’m sorry they’re so moody, I just whipped their asses at golf”

“You’re here to make me feel better right? Not doing a good job so far” Tom’s snide remark meant you scrunched up your nose while plugging her seatbelt in, making sure to jab Tom’s side hard as you did so.

“How did I end up sandwiched in between you two twats then?” You grinned from the middle seat as Harry just rolled his eyes looking out the window, and Tom gave you a loving smile- not able to hide his relief of your presence.

“Think it’s about a 40 minute drive you gotta enjoy” Sian smiled looking at you via the rear view mirror, to which Tom couldn’t quite stifle the yawn that escaped.

After all he had done much more than the typical 9-5 hours work, and the golfing was an unexpected addition to the already long day. His excitement and just pure joy at having you here had made him forget about It all for a couple of hours - but now his exhaustion was catching up with him with a vengeance. Instinctively you wrapped you arm round Tom and in doing so pulled him into your side.

“Get some rest huh?” You whispered into his forehead, and all Tom could do was reply with a weary nod, letting his eyes slip close to the constant beat of Ally’s heart. You immediately sensed Tom was properly out of it, and contented yourself looking out his window for a few minutes, before you felt something heavy briefly whack your other shoulder. Jumping a little at the contact, you looked round to see Harry’s head bobbing side to side in a light slumber. In the midst of worry for Tom, you hadn’t realised the kid had been doing the same long hours as him. Plus dealing with Tom and being Tom’s support, which surely took it out of him. Harry had always been ‘the most important brother’ in your eyes. Just because Tom trusts him so implicitly and completely, they had an understanding only real brothers could get to but also extended far beyond blood. When you’d first been introduced Harry had been colder to you. It wasn’t personal though, he just wanted to be sure on you and your intentions with Tom because as he well knew often when people saw Tom they didn’t just see an opportunity for love. It was an opportunity for a lifestyle, for fame, for relevance. Harry took a while before he trusted you but now you were miles and miles beyond that point. So now, being at a stage with Harry where he was phoning you to come and fly out to save Tom (and him too). It was not to be taken lightly. Therefore, you gently pressed your hand to Harrys face and pushed him to lean against her other shoulder too- hoping to cure the dark circles under his eyes a little bit too.

You were quite content for the rest of the journey, feeling warmth radiate through your body as the two men breathed deeply and calmly either side of you. You sort of didn’t want the car journeyer to end - but sure enough it wasn’t long till Sian was pulling into the hotel entrance.

“Get you a girl that can do both, beat yo ass at golf and look after your family” Sian whispered as she handed the phone back to you, after having taken some of your favourite ever photos, the 2 boys asleep on your shoulders while you pulled a variety of different faces. Smiling back at Sian, you then sighed-knowing she had to wake the two up, given their exhaustion you didn’t really want to either.

“Boys…boys… hey let’s get you both into bed yeh?” You spoke softly, gently raising your shoulders in order to disturb them both. Harry’s head immediately shot up, his eyes puffy and half open, but a sheepish look on his face as he realised how he was sleeping. Just responding with a smile that said it was all okay, before you turned her attention to Tom- forever stubborn to wake up, at least nothing had changed there.

“Come on Tom, can’t have you sleeping in the car all night” You pushed again, this time lifting Tom’s head, earning a very deep groan as his eyes slid open and he pushed against the movement. It was at this point Harry slammed the car door shut, making Tom jump out of his skin, you loosing the hope of any serene wakeup call. Rubbing Toms arm, relaxing the tension now present in his body you encouraged him once again. “Come on lets get inside mister”

His hotel room was exactly what you’d expect for an a-lister and lead actor in a million pound film. Large, modern, squeaky clean and posh. It was almost too big to be filled by one person though, Tom had always found it a bit cold and just not cosy - why he opted to spend the majority of his down time either fast alseep or in somebody else’s company. Both of those also stopped him getting too much in his head - or more accurately in his characters head. Cherry was a weird character and from interviewing all the veterans and lengthy discussion of his past, Tom almost felt as if he had in some small way experienced what Cherry had. Felt what Cherry did. Thought like Cherry did.

And that was a sure fire way to fuck yourself up.

Now, with you here in his room haphazardly digging through your case, if felt warmer. The cold but brilliant white lights seemed to have softened to a gently warm glow that bounced off your skin and made your figure look almost angelic to Tom. You were his home.

“What are you waiting for?” You mused while turning away from your (now) inside out suitcase, proudly carrying her pyjamas which you had found hidden at the bottom the whole time- not the most practical packing in the world. All the while Tom sat on his bed, back leaning against the headboard and arm bent behind his head too.

“Just thinking that I need to go through all the scenes for tomorrow” A monotonous tone laced his voice, for he knew he couldn’t spend the night the way he really wanted to, safely wrapped up with you.

“Oh… well let’s go through it together then hey? We will be done in no time; but if you want we can go over them again tomorrow morning.” It was a practical suggestion, a helpful action you could implement - even if you had a feeling Tom wouldn’t just agree. Since his lines clearly weren’t the only thing on his mind this evening.

“Yeh but everyone on set is already sick of me after today… I can’t be being shit as well as horrid” his voice was small as the memory of how he snapped at some of the extras had him cringing inwardly at himself. He shouldn’t have been that rude, shouldn’t have blurted it out, should of offered a solution rather than just critiquing.

“Hey would you kindly shut it? No one is sick of you, everyone is just ready for christmas and missing their families. Now get changed” Your soft tone turning into an imperative order, as you threw his pyjama bottoms at the him, smashing into his face before falling into his lap.

“Oi” he shouted, but followed instructions and stood up reaching round to pull his hoodie off. Stood shirtless, his side was exposed to the now changed you, the sight making you gasp and clamber over the bed to gently touch Tom’s back. You followed the outline of an impressive patch of bruising, stretching from the bottom edge of his shoulder blade all the way to his hip.

“Tom, what the hell happened?” Whispering in fear, Tom turned round to face you, seeing your eyes watering up as you kept glancing at his back. He was littered in a variety of purple, yellow and slightly green marks on the whole of his left flank. It looked like a minor crush injury, not something a pampered actor gets after a day of filming infront of tens of people including an onset medic and health and safety risk assessor.

“What?” Tom asked before turning to the mirror and looking back over his shoulder to see the bruises for himself. He hadn’t expected the ache to look that bad. “oh - I - er… Today the scene, I get smashed to the floor by someone and I kept doing it wrong so we had to do it lots I guess.” He looked away and down at your feet, not being able to meet his girlfriends eyes suddenly. You just nodded, trying to blink back the tears- he had truly been broken by this role both physically and now mentally- he hadn’t even put a stop to the constant and clearly severe pain.

“Put your stuff on” your voice was muted, as you waited for Tom to get prepared. He turned around again and then replaced his trousers and quickly pulled a top on to hide the marks, suddenly embarrassed. In the silence the sound of his clothes dropping to the floor, then of him sitting on the bed again- throwing his legs over so now he mirrored your position - the sounds were pretty defeaning.

“I love you so much….” Barely whispering, you suddenly ripped the duvet out from under you both holding it over you as you swung a leg over Tom so you straddled him, slightly leaning over him and letting the blanket rest on top of your back.In your position you looked down in an almost scary way to his warm brown eyes. Tom swore you were literally reading his thoughts, your intense gaze absolutely crumbling any walls he thought he’d be able to hold up. Pressing a gentle peck to his lips you then whispered onto his lips, letting him feel your words as well as hear them. “ …So that’s why we are going to sleep right now and you can worry about all of that tomorrow”

“Y/n I-“

“Your safe with me.” You were not standing for his nexuses and arguments, as you slid down his body - ending with your head resting on his chest, you legs tangled with his. Once you’re properly rested you’ll learn them ten times faster than what you can now… Before you get ill I am telling you to take a break. I’m not going to let you not. So relax and-….Tom?” Ending with a whisper, you delicately lifted your head off his slowly rising chest to see your broken boyfriend already asleep; lips parted as soft snores crept through the silence. In reality as soon as you’d said that he was safe the exhaustion had completely over taken him. Desperately needing to recharge his batteries, no matter how much he had wanted to stay up and work late it could never really happen - at this point physically impossible.

“Sleep well Tom” she smiled, planting a kiss on his cheek with a sad smile.

///////////////////////////////////////////

The next day rolled around all too quickly, but the morning was much better than any of the past couple of months because you were together. Tom, having had a solid 7 hours of sleep compared to his normal 5, was for once ready for the day. He’d gone through the script with a certain someones help in record time, and now the three were just pulling up at the set.

“You’ve been awful quiet this car ride…” you grinned as she clasped Tom’s hand across the empty seat, making Harry turn around and give you a warning glance. Oops. In a moment where Tom went to the loo at breakfast, Harry had fully disclosed everything that had happened on set yesterday- especially the burst of anger. So naturally, Tom was feeling nervous and scared to face everyone.

“It will be fine I promise… and if not tell them I’m your personal body guard- no one will be rude to you if me and Harry are ready to attack” Tom let out a breathy nervous laugh, only then meeting your eyes.

“ A fly wouldn’t be threatened by you two. Harry would just take a photo while you’d check their pulse or something”

“Errrm” Harry furrowed his eyebrows as he contorted round from the front seat so Tom could see his disapproving look, meanwhile Tom was dodging your affectionate fake-slaps.

“Children we’re here” Sian sighed as she brought the car to a steady halt “and if you could get through the day without killing each other I’d appreciate it, otherwise I’m out of the job”

“Not promising anything when I’ve got these pair to deal with” Tom grinned as he opened the car door, before anyone else could retaliate.You laughed before quickly following suit, joining Tom at the front of the car and interlocking your fingers with Tom’s. Hesitating for a moment Harry took a second before unplugging and leaning for the door handle.

“You see what I mean?” Turning his head to look at Sian “It’s sickening how happy they are.”

“Yeh but your glad about it don’t lie” she grinned, before practically shooing the poor boy out her car.

“But dont tell them!” Shouting in reply, as the car was already pulling out.

Tom’s body seemed to tense more the closer you walked to the crew tent, you could feel the way he squeezed his shoulders back and his jaw tensed and untensed. There was little you could do apart from squeezing his hand that little bit tighter - further reiterating the fact you would always always be in his corner. Perhaps the most telling about Tom’s own character was how truly guilty he felt for the way he was with the crew. Normally, he was one of the most down to earth actors around - no trace of an ego or superiority complex. It didn’t matter if you were a cleaner or head of a multimillion dollar studio, Tom would pay both the same amount of respect. He always out that completely down to his upbringing and mum and dad, but even that was being humble. He was just a good person to the core, no one saw that more than you either. It’s part of love, you see the good and the bad parts of a person and promise to unashamedly love them all.

Just before you both had made it into the main tent, Tom was pulled away. “Oh Tom we wanted to talk to you about yesterday!” The familiar voice of Joe Russo called, as he and Anthony ran up to Tom from his left, giving a little nod of greeting to the actor, before falling in step with him.

“Morning, I-uh I wanted to apologise actually-“Tom was cut off while you hung back off to his right, not wanting to intrude on this conversation.

“No we should. The team were all being slow yesterday, and they were making some hard scenes harder on you. We really appreciate what you are putting yourself through for the sake of the film.”

“But still I acted like a brat and I’m sorry”

“Tom” Anthony spoke up for the first time. He was a man of limited words- but whenever he spoke everyone listened. “ You are one of the best, most-dedicated actors we’ve ever worked with. We’re all overtired, run down and ready for the holidays. You’re missing your family too. It’s already forgotten… So let’s just get on with the movie?” Tom smiled, pressing his lips together to stop their kindness overtaking his emotions. Tom always felt safe with the Russo’s. They’d dealt with him when he really just was a kid actor - overwhelmed and without a clue what was happening. They’d dealt with hiM adjusting to fame and the much bigger part Marvel seemed to want him to play in the future. They trusted him with this, most incredibly complex and also personal film for them. So when they spoke and they said it didn’t matter, Tom was much more likely to agree. Then proceeded the bro-hugs, as the men all showed they were good with each other.

“Well lets make a motherfucking movie!” Tom exclaimed once they broke the hug and the brothers laughed at him. “Oh where-d….” He muttered as he looked round before meeting your eyes, still standing rather awkwardly a couple of meters behind them. “ Joe, Anthony you remember Y/n?” Nodding and smiling the brothers beckoned you over; both greeting you with a warm handshake.

“Good to see you again!” You grinned and the directors responded nodding.

“We didn’t know you were coming! I would’ve made a list of all my doctor question for you.” Joe winked, knowing your pet-peeve was people asking you all their gory body questions as soon as they found out she was a doctor. You didn’t need to know about you dentists acid reflux issue, you didn’t need to know about your granny’s friend’s constipation, and you really really didn’t need to know about an old friends erectile dysfunction.

“Ha ha ha “ You rolled your eyes sarcastically “ and no it was a bit of a spontaneous trip, I just landed last night.” Throughout the whole of the exchange Anthony had taken an aloof stance, just observing you and Tom. Observing the bright smile Tom gave you, even when you were simply making small talk. The way he looked so much healthier, well rested and just happy, in the space of a single evening.

“I’m glad you’re here” Anthony basically interrupted the conversation, addressing you then immediately turning on his heel towards the set.

“Uhh right- get to make up we’ll call a cast meeting in a bit” Joe stammered, giving his brother a funny look before addressing Tom “ and we’ll have to have a proper catch up later.” You nodded in response, as Joe turned and did a half jog to catch up with his brother.

“That was weird!?” You frowned as you looked up at Tom. He explained the encounter in rather simplistic terms.

“That was Anthony.”

The morning was spent with Tom doing what he does best in front of the camera. They were shooting a larger scene for the army section of the movie, with at least 100 actual soldiers as extras, all geared up in full camo outfits. It was impressive, but also gave you a chance to meet Ciara - you’d been dying to meet her since Tom told you what a laugh she was. Fair to say you weren’t disappointed at all, you guys hitting it off instantly and you going as far as giving Ciara some embarrassing Tom stories that she could wind him up with in the future. Of course though, the main attraction was seeing Tom act first hand. Every time it astounded you, even though you knew that face so completely, in all his movies he fully had you believing he was someone else. It was mesmerising and you couldn’t be any prouder.

“You’re amazing! I seriously forgot how good you are!” You ran over as Joe Russo called cut to the end of the morning shoot.

“Well er thanks I guess” Tom furrowed his eyebrows as you wrapped him in a hug. He’d just canned a pretty hard scene and everyone was more than ready for a lunch break. You’s been watching from behind the cameras with Harry the whole time, after Tom gave you permission to sit in his special set chair.

“Seriously I’m very…. “ Her speech broken with an impressive yawn “….very proud of you.” In thanks Tom gave you a kiss first to your nose and then lips.

“I take it someones not adapting to jet lag?” He chuckled as he pulled away and cupped your face in his hands.

“Which I’m totally ashamed about considering I work night shifts… my body clocks supposed to be better than this” Angrily, you vented, frustrated at your own body when all you wanted to do was stays within reaching distance of Tom. Even if Tom had had the best sleep of this whole shoot last night, you’d been to over excited and enthralled just absorbing every little thing about him that you’d missed so much that you’d been wide awake the majority of the night. If you blamed you fatigue on jet lag alone, it would be an impressive lie.

“Go take a nap in my trailer… Harry can you take her?”

“Yes master” Harry bowed down and wobbled his head sarcastically, making you giggle.

“At least this way you get a break from him” You grinned to Tom’s brother, which Harry could only agree with. Giving Tom a parting kiss , you followed Harry away from set. It was at this point that Anthony excused himself from the monitors reviewing the footage, and approached Tom.

“Kid… that was great that scene.”

“Thanks mate, means a lot” Getting his directors approval forever reassured Tom, letting him relax his shoulders a bit as he nodded gratefully to Anthony.

“Well it’s just truth… so your girlfriend, Y/n right?”

“Yeh that’s her” Tom nodded, suddenly a little concerned as to where Anthony was going with this. You had met the Russo’s a number of times, and it never before seemed as though Anthony had an issue with you- at least to Tom’s knowledge.

“Right well um… you know how I don’t really get involved in all this stuff…” Tom nodded, folding his arms apprehensively. “But I just thought I should say that she’s really good for you.” Tom silently breathed a sigh of relief and waited for Anthony to get to the point. “Joe told me you had a rough patch at the beginning of the year so… I don’t know our industry is hard. And harder for you and her in the spotlight… Just seeing you with her today…Don’t be afraid to take the next steps with her…Don’t let her get away.” Tom was stunned to say the least. Anthony is the last person he had ever expected to get relationship advice from.

“I um yeh… I don’t know I hadn’t really thought about it. I mean we’ve been together for 2 and a bit years, well including the break… she means the world to me-“

“Well don’t waste it”

And that was the end of the conversation. Anthony turned to his trailer to get lunch and Tom just stood, replaying the conversation in his head. Weird to say the least.

But it did get the cogs turning. It did get Tom really seriously considering his future. Or rather considering your future together.

And that was for certain. It was you and him, always.

#tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland x reader #tomholland #Harry Holland #tom holland x y/n

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be-ready-when-i-say-go · 4 years

Text

Christmas at the Hoods

You escape your family by going home with Calum to Australia for the holiday. And the escape is necessary, but at the end of it, you’re reminded that sometimes family is chosen rather than given.

Reader Insert. Fluff a little bit of angst. You just a perfect amount of tear your heart out but then put it back like nothing ever happened.

CW: Death of a parent, strained family relationships.

Enjoy my masterlist.

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__________________________________________

You stare down at the text from your mother. Are u coming home for Christmas? The truth is--no, you don’t want to come home. Home is too stiff, reminds you just how much you don’t fit. And maybe it’s just you, you thinking that you won’t ever live up to their expectations of what your life should be like, and maybe it’s not fair to them. But given all that, you still don’t want to subject yourself to that awful feeling, the squirming in your spot wondering how long is appropriate for you to stay before you dip the family pretend bonding.

You don’t want to go home. But you don’t have an excuse not to go. You sigh and place your phone face down on the counter. Ice clinks around in the glass that Calum sets down in front of you. Over the speakers faintly, you hear the twang and kick of guitar as Carla Thomas sings her conversation with an imagined other. At Christmas time, Calum gave you control over the speakers whenever you come over. He liked the Christmas music you had saved and even if he didn’t always get full on decorations the music helped the holiday feel a bit more real for the time you were over at least.

“What’s wrong?” he asks. “That had to be the heaviest sigh I’ve ever heard.”

“My mom,” you reply, unlocking your phone and showing him the text. “I can’t exactly say, ‘No, I don’t have any plans. But I don’t feel like pretending to care so I won’t be coming home.’ Wouldn’t go over nicely.”

Calum stares down at the text. The exchange previous to this was a Happy Thanksgiving text that you replied to and prior to that it seems like the conversation was just your mother updating you about the changes she was making to the home office. To which you only replied with ‘Pretty!’ but nothing more. He always suspected you and your family weren’t that close. You talked pretty highly of your dad, but he passed away a couple years ago. And you and your mother just didn’t click. Any sort of sustained interaction always seemed to go south. He just hadn’t had a clue just how sort you kept your conversations with your mother.

He had plans to go home to Australia. His sister was flying in too, the first time he wouldn’t have to split his Christmas vacation time between London and Sydney. Calum knew for sure that Luke was going home to Australia too. He wasn’t sure about Michael, though if previous years proved to be any sort of pattern, Michael would be spending Christmas with his partner’s family. Ashton seemed to be tentatively planning spending New Years in Australia at the very least. Sure you had other friends but given the holiday, he suspected that they might be traveling home or spending time with their families.

“Come with me to Australia,” he offers.

“You leave in a week, tops? The cost of that ticket on it’s own is going to be fucking awful.” You take your phone as it’s handed back over, but you only focus in on him. There was no way he was serious about an offer like that. There was no way he was getting a roundtrip ticket for you under three grand. Tickets for that kind of travel months in advance were easily a grand or more. So there was no way Calum could guarantee a ticket for you round trip in a week for a reasonable price.

“I always told you I was going to take you home with me one of these days,” he counters. “Show you those Sydney streets I grew up on.”

You laugh at the way he bobs with his fists in front of his face like a boxer in the middle of the ring. “Yeah, when we could both plan it out and I could at least pay for my own airfare. I can’t Cal. I appreciate it and you. But that’s too soon and I can’t have you dropping money like that on me such short notice.” You take the glass from the counter and spin around in the barstool before traveling to the couch.

Calum drops his arms and follows behind. He’s not worried about money. That’s nothing. “I can’t leave you alone for the holidays. I know going home would just be rough right now. I’d-I’d come with you if you wanted.”

“Oh my god, Calum, no. Go home. You haven’t seen your mom and dad in ages. I’ll be okay.”

“If I cancel I can still get a voucher for another time,” he offers and settles onto the ottoman in front of you.

“Go home. See your parents. Give them a hug. Fucking hell, I’m not worth canceling a trip over. I’ll suffer through this Christmas like I have every other Christmas.”

With a tap to your knee, Calum shakes his head. “My friend absolutely cannot spend Christmas miserable. I won’t have it.”

You shake your head. It’s not like you haven’t had to spend every other CHristmas miserable--what’s one more to the list? Calum looks to the coffee table and spies his phone. He stretches out for it. This would be embarrassing to admit. He wasn’t going to do it like this. In all actuality, he had meant to ask you last week. But you had to out of town for a conference. He hadn’t realized the conference was this late in the year but it was one that you had been trying to get into for years, so when you landed the opportunity, Calum knew you’d take it in a heartbeat.

You take hold of the phone as it’s handed to you. “What’s this?” You ask but Calum remains silent and you glance down to the phone to see it opened to an app. “Why am I staring at trip information?”

“It’s because I bought two round trip tickets,” he returns.

“What do you mean you bought two tickets?”

“One of those is for you. If you want to go.”

You drop his phone into your lap and push to the edge of the seat. “When the hell did you buy these tickets?”

“A couple months ago. I knew the holidays were always a little rough for you.” He shrugs. “At least you won’t have to lie to your mum now.”

“Calum you are the most insane person I’ve ever met and I’ve lived with myself for a while now. When the fuck were you going to tell me?”

“I had plans to last week. But I remembered you were going out of town for that conference and I wanted you to focus on that since you had to present and be on a panel too.”

“How fucking early do I need to wake up?” you asks.

“I-I figured you come over the day before, sleep over and then I’d drive us to the airport.”

“It’s summer in Australia right now, correct?” He nods at your question. “Beaches?”

“If you wanna go, sure.”

“Do I get to say that I’m being kidnapped for Christmas?”

“If you really want to phrase it like that.”

“I’m in,” you agree and Calum smiles, wrapping his arms around you as you fall into him in a hug. “Thanks, Cal.”

“Of course,” he returns softly. He’d do anything for you, or just about anything if he’s honest. You matter to him and even if he does have to kidnap you for the holidays, he’s happy to do it if it means you won’t be miserable.

A couple hours go by and you head home, now having to start packing for the holiday trip with Calum. As you sit on the floor in front of your suitcase, you pick up your phone. You aim to go the weather app and see what it’s like in Sydney right now. But the text notification from your mom still lingers on the messages app. You tap on it and reply. No, Mom, sorry. Going to visit Australia for Christmas.

Who’s in Australia?

Calum’s family is there.

Who’s Calum? Is that the boy you talk about in the band?

“Fuck,” you mutter, realizing there were two ways this could go. You hadn’t ever really talked about your friends with your mother. Your dad knew and he filled her in a little bit, but even still you didn’t tell him a lot before he died. Mostly because you were afraid. What would happen if you told him everything and you needed help and he died? He’d be the only one to know and then he’d be gone. You’d have no one. So you told him half of everything. You told him about the band and some of your friends and you told him that you were doing okay. But you didn’t tell him that you were finally starting to figure what what you were meant to be doing on this earth. You didn’t tell him that you were dating around. Your dad only knew half the truth and now you realized all he could tell was half your truth to your mother. He could only convey what he knew and your mother didn’t always listen too well. She always got into her head what she wanted to hear and that’s the version she went with.

You can almost imagine your mother now, sitting on her couch tapping at the screen of her phone with one finger and looking up to the kitchen where your dad would usually be--and here, she would call out to your dad to ask Do you know about this Calum fella? They ever talk to you about ‘im? And your dad would reply in some sorts clipped and in half truths, Yeah, they’re friends or something. He’s got a good head on his shoulders from what I could tell. Because that what your dad would always say about any of your friends, that they always had a good head on their shoulders because he trusted you.

Your dad told you once that he said they always had a good head on their shoulders because you had a good head on yours and you’d never be friends with anyone that didn’t match morals like yours. He knew you’d never get mixed up in something that you couldn’t see yourself out of because he had raised you, because he had to trust you now; his fears couldn’t stand in the way of you living your life.

If you could tell your dad the whole truth, you would. You would tell him the first year after his diagnosis you lost yourself. You’d tell him that Calum had found you more than once on the edge of something dark and secured you to his chest for nights on end. He’d take you the studio with you just so you wouldn’t be alone. You’d tell your dad about the times you cooked all his favorites just so your house smelt of him. You’d tell him that even though you and your mother fought and you felt like you were always at arm’s length with some family, you always loved him. You’d tell him everything in full detail so that when he died, he would die knowing fully.

Yeah, you start typing to reply to your mother’s question, he’s the guy in the band.

Enjoy. But you should see family during this season too. Remember the ones that have been with you through thick and thin.

You don’t respond to the text. More than half of your mom’s side didn’t show up to the funeral. They never liked your dad all too much and you were slowly uncovering why. But no matter the reasons, it hurt. It hurt to walk with your mother down the aisle of that church to the funeral procession and seeing a halfway empty church because her side hadn’t supported the marriage. Your father was dead and the least they could do was show up to a fucking funeral. There’s no thick or thin in that, just them.

Another text buzzes through your phone. It’s from your aunt, on your dad’s side. We’re loving the pj’s! Nana’s rocking the new slippers and everything. Take care and rest. Wanna come by for New Years? We may be old but we can still keep up!

You laugh at the photo of your grandmother, sleeping as she sits on the couch, bundling up in the robe you also ordered for her. The new slippers are almost falling off her feet. That’s keeping up if I’ve ever seen it, you return. I might come by a little after New Years but I’ll bring the wine--you just bring the chips and dip. Going out of town for a little bit.

No worries! We’ll see you then. Chips and dip are stocked. Don’t you worry. Enjoy!

There’s a twinge--you almost want to stay just for them. But nothing feels the same anymore if you’re honest. When you hang out with your dad’s side of the family, there’s a hole. His seat is way too empty, even if you sit in. There’s no one to joke around. Your grandmother has no one to pass on her list of chores too besides finding people in town to help her with. And it’s not the same. They don’t laugh when she hands it over. They don’t joke that they only had a son just so he could do all the house repairs, or lawnmower repairs.

It has to be hard for them too. It’s all around just not a great time. But then in your peripherals you see your halfway packed suitcase, the swimsuits you’ve rolled up and tucked into one of the mesh pouches. Was this running? Or was this healing? Was going all the way to Australia just an escape? Maybe it was all three, but it was running into an escape but on the other side, there was some healing in it too. You continue packing, pulling out some loungewear and figuring how many pairs of jeans to include on this trip too.

You feel silly in your sneakers and leggings as more people filter into the terminal area from TSA in bulky coats. But Calum’s dressed roughly the same next to you, only in a t-shirt and sweatpants. Your phone shakes in your hands. Let me know when you land, your mother requests in the text.

Will do.

“Do your parents know I’m coming?” you asks, suddenly remembering that you will be in their place for three weeks.

“They know,” Calum returns, slouching down in the chair. “Trust me. Mum keeps asking me if you have any food allergies or dietary restrictions. And everytime I answer, she asks if I have checked in with you recently about it. And I have a feeling if you suddenly sprouted some new allergy, I would know by now.”

“That’s how moms are,” you laugh.

“Don’t be surprised if you find your favorite snacks just chilling in the kitchen.”

The thought of Joy going out of her way to find out via Calum about your favorite snacks and to only have them just in her cabinets or pantry makes you laugh but deeper than that you feel touched, chest warming just a little at the thought that she’d do something above and beyond. You slouch down to match Calum and rest your head onto his shoulder. “Is your childhood bedroom still embarrassing?”

A soft exhale of laughter pushes through Calum’s chest. “No, not too embarrassing anymore. Some of the posters are still up and mum’s changed the bedding for sure. A few of my things are tucked into the closet. But Mum’s said she’s been going through things in the house slowly so maybe she’s put more things on display just to set me up.”

You nod. “I imagine there are going to be lots of sports posters.”

“Ding, ding, ding,” Calum chimes, resting his cheek on your head. “I was supposed to be the sports kid. I mean, I was the sports kid for a really long time.”

“Then you found out you had those pipes,” you laugh, tapping on his chest.

“Yeah, then I realized music was a thing. Mali used to blast R&B and I mean blast it. But she’s always had great taste in music so it was never like the songs were bad. They were just loud. Sometimes I’d stay with Michael for as long as I could. Not that I didn’t want to be home, I just wanted to save my ears for a little bit before Mali and Dad would take over.”

“Your dad sings?”

“He’ll tell you only a little bit. But yeah, he sings.”

“So it’s a family trait!” you laugh. “A long line of singers.”

“Mum would disagree with you.”

You glance down and look at the initials inked into his skin. You brush your thumb over Joy’s. You had only heard about her. Once you saw her. Calum was calling home when you dropped by unplanned. It was quick, you waved at her from his computer but mostly you hang around in the kitchen, petting Duke as he wrapped up the call. From the way he talks about her, you know he’s close to his family. You know being away from home is hard sometimes for him. You’ve talked to Mali more, caught Calum a few times FaceTiming her too, or meeting her when she visited LA for his birthday. You know about his Dad too. Haven’t met him yet, but you’ve seen him when you watched the ARIA’s one year and he dad popped up in the crowd while the band performed. You screencapped the moment and send it as a reaction photo to Calum whenever he shares good news. You’re sure he must be sick of it, but he never says anything about your habit.

“There’s a little shop not too far from the house. I used spend hours to looking at all the trinkets. I think you’d like it,” he admits quietly.

“Yeah, I’d be down for that.”

“But first, there will be food,” he laughs just as the speakers overhead crackle to life and the voice faintly reminds everyone of the boarding procedure. You can Calum both stand, slinging backpacks onto your shoulders as you want for them to call group one to board. “Lots of food.”

“I’m ready,” you return.

Sleep on the plane isn’t all that restful, but you take it in stride though you manage to make progress in your book. Halfway through the flight, Calum holds out one of his earbuds to you. “You’ll like it,” he urges and you take the bud placing it into your ear.

Somewhere between the songs that Calum plays and the movie you’re not fully paying attention to, sleep claims you once again. And you let it hold you well past the light layer of sleep you had the first time. Sleep lays claim to you, holding you deeply into its grasps. You only find yourself waking up when the lights on the plane lift just a little and it breaks through your lashes and Calum shakes you awake. The two of you climb from your seats, backpacks on shoulders and wind through the airport to baggage. Thanks to the cat and dog luggage tags you bought, spotting your and Calum’s luggage is easy. Calum easy snatched the cartoon dog but you didn’t put up a fight. You let him have it, especially since it looked slightly reminiscent of Duke.

As you gather your luggage, you hear a voice from behind you. Calum turns to the sound of it immediately, his hand leaving the handle of his suitcase. You grab it for him and watch him, hearing his laughter escape him, as he runs up to his mother. “Mum,” he laughs, “hey!”

The hug looks bone crushing, only the hug a mom can give that even if it shouldn’t be tight is tight because there’s nothing like the squeeze. “Oh, my boy,” she grins. It lights up her whole face and you stand, just behind them, a couple feet off, both suitcases in front of you.

Joy spots you and the grin grows brighter. She releases Calum and shuffles up to you, arms still opened wide. “Hi! Look at you,” she greets. You immediately step out from the luggage. She’s warm and taller than you imagined as you hug her. She gives you a squeeze and your eyes water just a little. There’s something to the embrace that makes your chest tight and you find yourself clinging a little tighter to her too as she runs on about how late it is, and how hungry and tired you both must be. She keeps you close, an arm around your shoulders, hand splayed across your back. Joy pinches Calum’s cheek and wraps her other arm around his waist.

“C’mon, c’mon,” she urges. “David’s with the car. But I just couldn’t wait to see you both. Oh, it’s so good.”

Even as you exiting the plane it shocked you just how bright in the day it was still. But when you look down at your phone you realize you’re almost a whole day ahead, now standing in the middle of the afternoon, as if you somehow only flew a few hours instead of half the day. Calum’s dad is not parked too far from the entrance. As the three of you approach, he runs up some of the way with a large smile. “Aye!” he laughs, hands clapping Calum on the back. “Look at you!” “I swear I haven’t gotten any taller, Dad.”

“Coulda fooled me,” David returns. “Now,” he laughs, pointing to you. “I heard you got dragged along. Did ya put up a fight?”

“Less of a drag, more a kidnapping,” you return but step into the embrace with a laugh.

“Next time, next time, you’ll go a couple rounds with him, right?”

You nod. “Yeah, next time.” You don’t know if it’s going to be a next time but the idea sounds nice. Calum and David load up the suitcase into the trunk before all four of you slip into the car--you and Calum in the back.

“Hope they haven’t scared you off,” Calum whispers to you. You shake your head, mouth opening to say more but then David pipes up from the front seat. You almost don’t catch what he says, but Joy and Calum respond, so you stay quiet with a bit of a nod and watch the lights fade behind you as you travel down the streets. You make sure to text your mother that you arrived safely.

Calum’s room isn’t so bad, like he figured. Though you do almost wish there were a few more embarrassing posters on the wall. No sooner than the two of you can slip bags off and get out of shoes, a knock sounds from the door. It’s Joy, peeking her head inside. “Calum knows this, but you’re free to whatever’s in the house to munch on. I think there’s a few beer already cold too. But,” she waves her hand a little as if dismissing the thought. “either way, whatever’s there, you’re welcome to take.”

“Thank you, Ms. Hood.”

“Joy, call me Joy.”

“Thank you, Joy.” She nods and then slips back out of the room.

“They’ll be like that for another couple of days, but don’t mind them.” Calum shows you were the linen’s closet is and where the bathroom is too. “If you wanna shower first, I’ll whip up some snacks.”

“Oh, that’s some hard work putting together some snacks.”

He glares at you, throwing a towel at your head. You manage to duck it though it does land on your shoulder. You laugh as he flips you off and then heads to the kitchen. You head back to the room and grab a different set of clothes. It takes a moment to get the water right but you keep the shower as short as you can and slip into the clean clothes.

You return to the kitchen and find Calum with a plate of various chips, fruit snacks, and a small section of meat and cheeses out. He cracks open a beer just as you pad into the kitchen. “Want one?” he asks, but you decline the offer.

“It’s cozy,” you say softly looking around the living room and kitchen of the house. Even Calum’s room teleports you. You’re not sure where just yet, and even though it’s obviously a whole different continent there’s something about the house, about seeing Calum’s family so visibly happy to have him back home and the genuine smiles that feels like a warm blanket straight from the dryer. It envelopes you.

Calum shrugs a little. To him, it’s just familiar and a tad foreign. Like he can’t remember if the paintings are the same ones from his last visit but the pictures of him and Mali have never changed. The family vacation photos still line the walls too--unwavering it seems even against all of his mum’s decorating attempts. “Once Mali comes into town, it’ll feel complete,” he states. You wonder how any of this could feel incomplete, but don’t voice that curiosity.

Calum runs up to shower next and in the middle of your munching, Joy returns to the kitchen too. “I’m surprised you’re still standing upright.”

“Oh I could fall over at any point. Keep an eye out.”

Leaning into the counter she nods. “Time zones are killer. I’d say try to make it through as much of today as you can and then zoink out later on. Might be easier to adjust to the time that way.”

“I’m hoping,” you say.

“Calum told me you went to a conference last week. How’d that go?”

“It went well. Slight tech issues with my presentation but we managed to pull through unscatched after that.” You talk a little bit more about it, but are aware that you feel like you're rambling. When you ask her a few questions, she’s more than willing to answer them but she keeps them short and instead asks you more questions too.

“As the best friend, I feel like I need embarrassing material. Do you have photos of baby Calum?” you ask after a bit.

“Of course I do. He asked for some for a video once and I scanned over the most neutral ones. But if you want embarrassing photos, I got ‘em,” she laughs, wiping the salt off her fingers from a chip and waving for you to follow her.

Calum returns the sound of laughter and you cooing about something, he thinks you might’ve mentioned chubby cheeks and he knows without a doubt it’s him. “If you are going to embarass me I’d like to be in the room,” he states, seeing the photo album open on your lap. He steps to the arm of the couch you’re near and watches you flip through a few pages. You pause at a couple and pull your phone out to snap a few pictures of the picture. He doesn’t miss the several messages still lingering on your notification screen from your mother.

It’s over dinner that Joy suggest putting the tree up over the weekend, since Mali will be in town at that point too. No one objects to this plan and the latter half the week you and Calum spend mostly trying to adjust to the time change, though Calum seems to be having an easier go of it than you. Mali is licked up from the airport and you linger behind knowing that there’s not quite enough space for all three of you in the seat. It’s a little strange to be lingering around in Calum’s old room at his mum’s house but it’s not to bad. You take in all the sports posters, notice some medals and trophies still hanging around to otherwise bare shelves. Among them are some photos too--mostly of Calum and the guys. A few of some people you’ve never seen before and you assume they’re friends from soccer, or other sports along the way.

The sound of laughter echoes around you. Though you do hold onto one photo of Calum. He’s in a jersey, arms thrown over the shoulders of two other boys. They smile wide and big at the camera. The grassy fields hold blurry people and you like to imagine in that blur there are parents hugging kids, or kids running to their parents. There are coaches, people shouting in those blurs. The sounds of feet on stair should break you out of your trance staring down at the photo and you hear more laughter too. But you continue to stare down at younger Calum.

Calum tries to catch onto Mali’s wrist. “Do not! God,” he huffs when she slips through his hold. She laughs, backpack still on and barrels past her old room to Calum’s. You’re standing halfway turned to the door, but still clearly engrossed in something.

“Hey,” Mali huffs out, slipping just inside the cracked door. “Have you found the good blackmailing photos yet?”

You jump just a little but lift your gaze and find Calum’s sister beaming brightly at you. “Hi,” you return with a laugh. “I found a few. Your mum broke out the photo album.”

“Good,” she returns. “Sorry for kicking you out of the arrival party. It’s not normally five of us.”

“No, no, it’s cool. I couldn’t necessarily swing a vote on voting Calum out, so, I just took that blow.”

She gives a light tuft of laughter and hisses just a little. “Yeah that’d be a little hard to swing. But I’ll teach ya a few pointers for next time.”

“I’d appreciate that,” you return and Mali excuses herself to drop off her bag. Everyone seems hooked on the concept of a next time. It falls easily from their lips and while you’ve enjoyed the time here thus far, next time isn’t on your mind. Honestly, you’re not sure what’s on your mind besides not thinking about the text messages you need to respond too. Most of them seem to be about making sure you’ve adjusted to the time difference, if you’ve seen anything exciting. And you want to tell her--but you know you’d most likely tell her half truths too. Possibly even quarter ones. So you’ve opted to tell her nothing really. It seems trivial to explain to her that you’ve gone out a couple times--to the beach and the shop that Calum mentioned earlier. Most of the time though, you spend with Calum going down his memory lane. You rode past the school’s he attended, saw all the spots he used to hang out. Those don’t feel like the spots your mother is looking for.

When the Christmas tree is unearthed and Joy brings out the decorations you don’t think about those text messages again. You instead help feed the garland around the tree to Calum who’s standing at the back of the tree and he passes it along to his mon and she passes it to Mali and Mali passes it back to you. And that’s the way it goes for the lights too. Once those are put up, you look over the bulbs that Joy has. Behind you Calum and Mali are already working to put the hooks through the box Joy approved. You’re trying to help her find the last box in that set.

“Short end, Calum. Short end is what you hook through the top of the bulb.”

“Which end is short then?” you hear him return.

“That end,” she laughs. “I’ll put the hooks. You put them on the tree. Don’t put the same colors close together. Space them out.”

“I can decorate a tree,” Calum states.

“Sometimes I wonder.”

You find the last box of bulbs in the matching set, under a layer of icicle like ornaments. “Found ‘em,” you tell Joy and she beams, stopping her work on the box she was digging in.

“Ah! I’m not sure how they got separated.”

“Someone packed them wrong,” Mali returns, focused in on hooks still. “Most likely,” she counters. You step over to her and help prep more ornaments. A few look homemade with popsicle stick and felt. You pause looking at them on the table.

“Made ‘em in primary,” Calum answers, picking up the ornaments you’ve already hooked. “I thought Mum would give up on bringing them out.”

“But I never have and never will,” she counters picking them up and proudly displaying them on the front of the tree.

Calum makes a show to wave his hands. “That.”

“You made them and I cannot not display them,” Joy laughs and takes the bulb you’ve prepped.

“I think it should be the star,” you tease.

“Do not give Mum any ideas,” Calum groans. “She needs zero ideas.”

“My dad would put mine near the star. I used to hate it too,” you offer.

“Because he was proud of them! See, it’s a parent thing,” Joy laughs, taking another ornament.

You don’t respond, giving a shrug. Maybe it’s a parent thing. And maybe it’s just a love thing, you think. Maybe putting your atrocious ornaments near the top was a way your dad was saying you were always near the top, he was always thinking of you first. When you blink the silver hooks blur for a moment and it hits you that you might be crying. So you blink again and the tears don’t completely clear.

Arms are around your shoulder and you think it’s Calum but as you turn into the embrace, you notice it’s Joy. “Hey, it’s okay,” she offers. She’s quick to scoot you over to the other end of the living room and hands you a tissue. “Do you want to keep on decorating? You can take a breather.”

“No, no, I’m okay.”

“As long as you’re sure.” Her hand runs a soothing line up and down your back. You can only nod. It takes another moment and a deep inhale before you find a resolve. Joy takes your spot hooking the ornaments and you hang one up on the branch. You’re not even sure if Calum and Mali noticed your quick time out, but they don’t seem to be visibly concerned. You finish the tree half an hour later--many ornaments had to rearranged after realizing the back hadn’t gotten nearly enough love. You snap a photo and you don’t think too much about sending it to your aunt and your grandmother, but you hover over your mom’s contact.

Would she think you’re betraying? Would she find some way to say that you could’ve been home decorating the tree too and that she could’ve used the help since Dad wasn’t around anymore? You don’t hit send. Instead you lock your phone, place it face down and ask Joy if she needs or wants any help cooking dinner. She waves you in happily, explaining the dish she’s preparing to you as you wash your hands. This is easy. This feels complete, listening to the sounds of the TV in the background. Knocks at the door don’t make your heart startle and you almost know, without looking, that it’s David. And he no doubts has an armful of things--food, drinks, and god knows what else.

“Do-do you mind me asking about your mom?” Joy brings up as you tend over your hot pan.

“I,” and all words have fallen from your brain. “I don’t know,” you answer. It sounds so stupid but it’s the truth. The whole truth. “I don’t know how I feel. I-I wouldn’t be upset, but there may or may not be a reason I’m hiding on the other side of the world.”

It’s a small laugh, but a laugh nonetheless that Joy gives. “You know, fair. It’s okay if you don’t know. Instead, we’ll knead dough,” she offers, “or whatever else we need to do.”

“I’ll take kneading dough.”

There’s a nod and a smile, an understanding that kneading dough is the best alternative. The sleeves to your hoodie start to slip down again and just before you can clear your hands from the flour to pull it up, two hands come from the side. Calum, you deduce. “Thanks.”

“No problem. Did Mum put you to work or did you volunteer?”

“Volunteered,” you answer and go back to kneading the dough. The fridge door opens and then closes a few seconds later.

“You’re a guest. You don’t have to you know?”

“I know. Just need to do something.”

“Besides not answering your mom’s texts.”

“Besides not answering my mom’s texts,” you agree. Calum reaches across the counter and grabs your phone. You gave him the passcode ages ago and shockingly he remembered it. “Gonna delete the embarrassing photos?” you tease. You already emailed yourself copies just in case you tried too.

“Nah, no need. You’d just find a way to get them again.” You watch him for just a moment open up the app and the picture of the tree is still loaded in. “Why didn’t you send this?”

“Because I didn’t want her bitchin’ to me about how I could’ve been doing that with my real family. I would rather decorate a tree with you and your family anyway. Just as real as anything else,” you huff out, pushing in a little harder into the dough.

Calum pauses for a moment, glancing over to you. He’s not even sure his ears actually heard what you are saying. “What?” he asks in an exhale.

“I’d rather spend legit any holiday with you.”

He stops you, a hand on your wrist. “Did-did you just admit that you’d spend any holiday with me and my family?”

“Do you want bread or not?” you ask and he releases your wrist. “But yes, I did admit it.” You look up from the dough, knowing you’ve worked well enough for you to be done. The Christmas tree twinkles from the corner and it’s nice to see a family together--there’s no arguments, no need to feel like you’re at arm’s length. The TV plays and it’s idealistic. It’s what you want, not the screaming that occurs on most holidays, no one too drunk off their ass, no one being kicked out.

“I like it here,” you admit softly. Christmas is about five days out and you still need to wrap Calum’s present. It’s currently hiding in your suitcase and you want to get something nice for his parents for hosting you, and you’re not entirely sure what to get Mali but you want to do something nice for her too. Calum doesn’t miss the way you stare, the longing in your gaze as you’re still knuckle deep in dough. “I could send the photos to Dad. He’d probably just send a thumbs up. But, still it would’ve been better.”

“Then send it to him.”

“Mom disconnected the line. I have no clue who has the number now.”

“Send it anyway. Whoever it is, probably wouldn’t mind.”

You shake your head and look down at the dough. It’s done and you place it back into the bowl. The idea is asinine to you. No stranger would be okay with getting a random text about a Christmas tree you decorated and whatever sob story you’d type out. Best not to bother a stranger. Even as Calum tries to urge you one last time, you don’t give in. You move about the kitchen as if you’ve always worked in and wash your hands. It doesn’t take you long before you settle onto the couch next to Mali.

I know this might be strange, Calum starts drafting. But my best friend lost their dad about two years ago and this is his old number (this is their number and they still has the number saved). I took them to see my family for Christmas since they and their mom and that side are in a rough spot. I say that like it hasn’t been years of a rough spot but they helped us decorate the tree. I don’t know who’s going to see this, if it’ll go through or not, but I’m hoping for a miracle, I guess, for kindness in the universe and kindness in a stranger. They just needs something good, so we hope you enjoy our Christmas tree. They told my mum about how their dad would put the homemade ornaments near the star. Needless to say my mum agreed with the idea. If you see this, and get the picture, I hope you have safe and happy holidays.

Calum doesn’t even think twice about hitting send on the message. He finishes pouring himself a glass of water and pour another one for you too. By the time he grabs a snack too your phone buzzes again. There’s a response from the number that once belonged to your dad.

Tree looks awesome, kid, reads the first message. And then another one follows it. Homemade decorations near the top are the only way to go. Hope your friend gets through the holidays safely, but with people like you in their life, we think they will. Happy Holidays and enjoy our tree too. A picture comes attached with it.

Calum leaves the response up. It works out perfectly that the first response sits directly under the picture Calum sent. The first part of the second text is still visible but he doesn’t worry about that. He taps on your shoulder. “The world’s not so bad after all,” he states.

It takes you a moment to realize who the message is under. And you know it’s not actually your dad. You know that line went cold months ago.Your dad didn’t call you kid too much else he was trying to annoy you. But it’s something about seeing a message from that number that makes your chest ache. For a split moment in time, he’s real again. A sob racks through your chest and you're quick to cover your mouth, aware that other people are around. “I should’ve told him so much more,” you gasp and another sob breaks the sentence up just a little at the end. But all you can do is stare at the response with blurry vision.

Calum wraps you into his arms, pulling you into his chest. “Hey, you can still tell him. Maybe not by texting this number but you can still tell him,” he whispers. And though you tremble against him, he manages to get you to the shelter of the stairs. You settle oddly on top of him, your legs draping over his and your cowered into his chest mostly. But you don’t object to the arrangement.

Joy places a box of tissues down next to you both and settles on the step just below Calum. Her hand is warm on your knee. “I thought you were kneading dough.”

You chuckle just a little but tremors still rock you. “Dough didn’t have a lot of resistance.”

She nods, tsking just a little. “Ah, next time I’ll have you knead two loaves.” Once she’s sure you’ve cried it all out, she leaves you be, though most of her comfort was soft reassurance and knee pats. But it’s just what you need.

Calum guides you upstairs and unearths his journal from his bag. Or at least a journal you think you’ve seen him writing in before. “I was going to give this to you on Christmas. But it sounds like you could use it now. Whatever you wanted to tell your dad, write it down. Pretend like your writing letters to him. I know know it might sound silly, but it helps me.”

The journal is leather, embossed on the front are your initials. It almost looks too expensive to even write in it, but when Calum hands you a pen you think you might explode again if you don’t get it off your chest. So you settle onto the edge of his bed, which is barely just enough space for two of you to sleep on during the night and tell your dad all the full truths. Everything you felt like he couldn’t take the grave, you spill onto the page.

Dad, It’s Christmas. Or it’s nearly Christmas. I’m in Australia with Calum and I’ve already had one emotional breakdown. So we need to reset the count on that one. It’s hard without you. Joy put Calum and Mali’s old homemade decorations near the star of the tree and all I wanted was to be six again and be up on your shoulders and have you force me to put my decorations up high on the tree for everyone to see. I used to hate it. When you did that. But now I miss it.

I miss a lot of things, I guess now. I miss being honest with you. I wasn’t very honest while you were dying. I was afraid that I told everything I’d be weak. That if I told you everything you’d take all the words with you when you died and I wouldn’t be able to tell anyone else since it would’ve been one of the last things I told you. It all sounds silly now to write it down, but that’s what I thought.

Here’s the other half I never told you.

Calum lingers, sitting on the floor and finding one of his old guitars sitting on the floor tucked into a corner. He slides over, and places it into his lap before strumming mindlessly over it. The scratch of the pen is hardly audible as he strums but he can envision what it sounds like, see how fast you’re scribbling words down onto the page.

Later in the week, as you have Mali and Calum helping you find a gift to give their parents, you stop at one of the small shops in the mall. Mali’s wandered off to the far corner but Calum’s close next to you, glancing around the walls for something that looks remotely interesting and appropriate. The housewares all look too dated and Calum’s not even sure what his parents do and don’t have to even suggest something like this. But Mali thought it might be a good place to stop so the three of you stopped to look.

“Thanks,” you say to Calum, running a finger over a serving spoon. “For the journal. It helped a lot.”

“You’re welcome,” he beams at you. His attention is still filtering around the store. “I have no clue what to even suggest in a place like this for my parents. They’re not super into stuff like this.”

“You sure a Kiss The Cook apron wouldn’t do the trick?” you joke holding up the red and white apron.

“Hmm, afraid not,” he laughs. The two of you still wonder about the store and you find a couple cookbooks that seem interesting. One’s for cocktails and Calum says it’s a definite--his dad would enjoy flipping through it. Neither he or Mali had gotten one for him before, so it won’t be a duplicate.

“Your mom has a lot of photos you guys. You think she’d be into something like this?” you ask, pointing out to a few picture frames. They’re all collages, just arranged differently. Calum seems to be vaguely interested though Mali worries about the fact that she tends to keep them in a particular way.

“Could make one with the photos you’ve taken over this trip, she loves stuff like that and I’m sure she wishes she could get more photos of us now since we’re gone. We spend a day taking some photos in front of our old stomping grounds and I know she’d love it,” Calum offers looking over to Mali.

She shrugs. “That could work. Sure we can’t say it was from all of us?” she jokes.

“I wouldn’t mind, especially since you two would be doing some leg work in it,” you state.

“If we’re going to do it,” Mali counters. “Let’s go with this one.” She points to a wooden slab with rows of twine wrapped around and clasps that are wooden too where stock photos are currently pinned but it’s clear that you can add your own photos.

“This really blows my flowers out of the water,” Calum mutters, holding onto the paid for box of the wooden frame.

“You also got her the embroidered pillow,” you counter. The pillow has the coordinates of Sydney, LA, and London on it--for each of the cities they’re in respectively.

“True,” he nods. “But still,”

“If you don’t want--” you start but he cuts you off.

“Hey, no, I want to do this. Shush,” he laughs. “We gotta make another stop though. I’ve seen ads for those portable printers and can print photos and I don’t see either one of you with those old school polaroid cameras.”

“I’ll have you know,” Mali teases. But she interrupts her own joke as a ponderous hum falls from her. She rattles off a couple stores that could have it.

“Let’s give it a shot,” Calum returns. The first store is a bust but the second one has it. They grab one of the last ones off the shelf and scurry to the lines. They’re long and it’s no avoiding it two days from Christmas. The rest of the day, Mali navigates, pulling over into random parking lots and telling stories about their childhood.

You snap as many photos as you can. Some are more planned than others but it’s okay. You play with angles, flipping your phone upside to get some cool shots and you’re honestly impressed with the quality of just a cellphone camera. By the time it starts to get dusk, you’re half convinced your phone will alert you that you’re almost out of space. It’s not too hard to sneak the bags up to the bedrooms. You take up distracting Joy just a little as Calum and Mali book it up the steps.

“Oh, this reminds me,” Joy says standing right as Mali clears the first step. “If you need any sort of wrapping supplies they’re in here,” she directs you down the hall and you watch Calum and Mali clear into one of the bedrooms, you think it’s Mali’s before diverting your attention back to the wrapping paper.

“Thanks,” you nod at her. “I’ll be down in a few if you want help with dinner?”

“An extra pair of hands never hurt,” she counters with a grin and it’s become a tradition, or a thing at the very least that you help her with dinner and she’s given up on trying to shoo you out of the kitchen.

You take the stairs slowly, but you can feel the buzzing in your pocket. No doubt Calum bugging you relentlessly that you’re needed upstairs. You find them in Mali’s room situated on the floor as she removes the pictures from the frame and Calum seems to messing with the printer. “Thank you for joining us,” he teases. Music starts up and the door closes.

You settle on the floor next to him. “My job was to distract so that’s what I did. What do I need to do?”

“Pairs with BlueTooth, so I just gotta get this thing on.”

“Let me know when it’s up,” you return and then pull up the photos you took on your phone. Mali helps pick out which photos have to go onto the frame. It’s only a minute or two later that Calum tells you to make sure your phone has the BlueTooth turned on.

“You cannot use that,” he laughs, as the first photo prints out. “I look so dumb in that take.”

Mali laughs. “Oh, c’mon it’s a pretty shot.”

“Yeah of you,” he returns.

You swipe to the next photo and there are no photo blunders for either one of them so you print that one down. Some are in front of buildings that you’re not even sure could mean anything. A couple are of Calum’s old practice field for soccer--the same one from the photo you were looking at when Mali first arrived. There are a few of Mali in front of the place she sang to a large audience for the first time. There’s a picture of the Christmas tree as well--Mali and Calum are in the photo adding decorations to it. There’s one of you, in the middle of Calum and Mali, arms wrapped around each other. You’re laughing because even standing you nearly stumble just trying to shift your weight a little, but the picture is perfect as the sun just starts to step a little behind you.

With the last photo printed, you look over the arrangement and give your approval. “Did you remember to grab our wrapping paper?”

“Shit,” Calum sighs. “I’ll run to the car and grab it.” You nod and head back downstairs just in time to help Joy.

It’s late before another opening arrives for you three to place the gift under the tree and during this time you also add Calum’s and Mali’s gift to the bunch. You managed to snag some cool t’s with Calum’s help for her. She eyed them in your shopping adventure and carted them around the store before ultimately deciding to put them back. Calum stayed behind to grab them off the rack while you went with her to the next store.

Over mugs of hot chocolate--though the Australian heat doesn’t warrant it-- you, Mali and Calum sit on the floor in front of the tree. “It’s been nice to outnumber him,” Mali laughs.

“I’m already outnumbered with you and Mum,” he retorts.

“Yeah, but it’s Mum. She counts but like not really. Now you’re outnumbered by someone in our age range.”

Calum shakes his head. “If you say so. I’m glad Mum and Dad weren’t too weird about it.”

You know he hasn’t brought anyone home in a long time. And part of it is probably just time, but another part is deliberate but you don’t know why. “I’m sure they were starting to think I wasn’t real,” you joke.

“Haha,” Calum gently shoves your legs. “You’re a fucking comedian.” You snicker and take another sip from your mug. The night almost doesn’t feel like it’s slipping away as Mali and Calum take turns on the guitar. You climbed up onto the sofa at some point during the night, asbentedmindly playing in Calum’s hair. But somewhere in it the strumming, sleeps pulls you under, you felt your eyes blinking close but weren’t able to recall when the final blink took you full under.

You find yourself startled awake to the sounds coming from the kitchen. Mali’s asleep on the couch, facing the opposite away of you. Calum’s reclined against the sofa between the both of you but still sitting on the floor. There’s a faint light coming from behind you and you squint against it to see the kitchen light’s on. You settle back against the arm of the couch and let yourself fall into sleep a second time.

When you wake the second time, it’s to gentle shakes and you’re not even sure you had fallen asleep again. Until you find yourself stretching again and blinking back the light of the living room. Calum’s slumped to the floor. “No, five more minutes.”

Joy chuckles. “It’s your presents you’ve gotten open.”

“Hmm, maybe I’m awake enough for presents.” Presents are slow to be handed out, mostly to the three of you still trying to wake up. But Mali gets the first tear into the wrapping paper and beams over at you spying the two shirts.

Joy loves the pillow from Calum and the jacket from Mali. Calum gets a few things, most of them necessities but the socks are cool enough to put on immediately. Mali’s content with the clothes she’s received and the necklace. Calum thought about wrapping your journal as a joke but he hands you a tiny stocking stuffed with some candies, a cool pen, and some knicks knacks he found during some of the shopping adventures. David’s tickled as he flips through the cocktail recipes.

“What is this?” Joy laughs pulling on the wooden and twine picture frame ad she’s handed it.

“For you,” you answer. “A collective effort between the three of us.”

“But originally their idea,” Calum tacks on.

Joy looks at the three of you, unsure of what trick might be pulled. She unveils the first corner and pauses. “Seriously, what is this?”

“Just keep going Mum,” Mali counters.

Joy continues tearing at the wrapping paper and she gasps for a moment noticing the photos hanging from the pins. “No way,” she laughs, lifting it up to take a closer look at the photos. “No way,” she whispers.

“The pictures can be switched out, so you can frame some, or just rotate it based on the season,” you explain.

The tears collecting in Joy’s eyes don’t get past you but they do hurt just a little. In a good way. You hadn’t seen a teary eyed smile like Joy’s in such a long time you almost forgot how good it felt, but how much it hurt too.

“You did all this for me?” she asks.

“I had help,” you return. “But I wanted to do something or give you something nice for hosting me the past two weeks and agreeing to take on an extra mouth to feed. It’s a thank you.”

She gives you another one of those hugs that squeeze more than they should, more than thought possibly. You squeeze in return and though you feel a couple tears slip down your cheek, you aren’t so afraid of the emotion. It’s something like loved, maybe it’s understood. Quite possibly it’s just the feeling of being embraced without judgement or restriction. You’re not really sure, but you do know you like it.

“Thank you,” Joy whispers while still hugging you. She makes space for the frame almost immediately though it takes a little rearranging of the living room but she finds the space. You’re sucking on a piece of candy, looking down at your phone. You know your mother is still living in Christmas Eve and the only message she’s gotten from you are about you being safe and okay.

I would send this as an actual letter, but I worry from Australia to home would take too much time. So I guess this works as next best. I can only hope you understand.

The easy things: Australia’s been fun. Haven’t run into a spider as big as my head just yet but there’s still plenty of time. Calum’s family has been amazing. I helped with Christmas decorations. Joy and I are cooking buddies. If I never had to leave, I probably wouldn’t.

And on and on you go about the tails of this particular vacation before getting to the hard stuff, how it’s hard sometimes to be home because home feels empty and too far away and how it’s hard sometimes to feel like you fit in the puzzle of it all. You tell her how hurt you are seeing how her side paid the death of your father dust. How nothing’s felt right once and you don’t know what caused it. You don’t know how it started but all you do know is that when dad was around, when you and him had those quiet moments it was closest to right you had every experience until now--sitting in your friend’s childhood home in a whole different country, more than half the day ahead of your own family and watching someone else’s world that you know you’re not really apart of but somehow you fit even as a stranger.

There’s that nagging voice in the back of your head that tells you this could all go to shit. Your mother could read all this and blow her top. But at least she would blow her top knowing the truth and the whole truth at that--that you love your family for being your family but recognizing the detriment happening.

I need you to know Mom. Because Dad didn’t. Or maybe he did, but I know I wasn’t the one that told him. So I am telling you. You don’t have to like it. You don’t have to like any of this and I’m not asking you or telling you you have to. But you have to know the truth and I have to tell you.

Before I go, there’s a present for you. Hidden in the top box of Dad’s stuff in your closet. It’s only tiny pieces of me and him, of us, but I hope you enjoy it. I hope it provides comfort.

While you’re not the most crafty, you know your way around a sewing machine. You didn't keep nearly as many t-shirts from family vacations as you would’ve liked to, hanks to a couple moves. But you kept enough and you snagged a few of your dad’s t-shirts and some of his old flannels too. All together it made a decent sized blanket--it could’ve been larger but there were a few failed starts before you got the true hang of it.

You’re not sure the whole message will send correctly and you think maybe it should’ve been an email, but that feels even less personal. So you watch the message lift up, hover for just a moment before it settles down and just beneath it, Delivered, pops up. Immediately, you place your phone face down. A watched pot never boiled and a watched text is never actually read.

“Calum!” Mali laughs. Just behind you they go barreling past, through the living room and he tries to make an escape up the steps but she manages to lunge fast enough to take hold of the back of his t-shirt. “Drop the cookies and no one has to get hurt.”

“Never!” he cries in return. His attempts are half hearted and you can only giggle watching them. That in turn earns you target as a potential accomplice and he calls out to you to get you to take the cookies and make an escape.

You walk over, take the packet of cookies. They’re decorated for Christmas and you decide take one off the top is fair pay for whatever mess you’re stepping into. After your take the first bite of your cookie, you hand the packet over to Mali who happily release Calum to snag a couple. “Traitor,” Calum returns, but takes another cookie too.

“I got my pay,” you laugh, polishing off the one cookie in your hand.

David enters then, taking another cookie too. “I got mine too,” he laughs before disappearing again back down the hallway. There are a few things around the house he needed to repair and Calum had been helping him though you suspect more than helping, Calum was sneaking cookies and trying to hide them from Mali. You offered to help too, but David insisted that you actually take a rest at least once during this time away.

You manage to catch the buzz over all the laughter. You don’t think your mother could’ve responded that fast. It’s not possible. But you slip away from the group and grab your phone from the couch cushions. Your heart hammers against your ribs, you can feel the vein in your neck throbbing.

Thank you for the blanket. It’s quite lovely. Glad you’re enjoying Australia. I don’t know if I can say sorry and have it mean much. But in turn, thank you for telling me the truth. Somehow you expected this to be much more emotional, much more earth shattering. But tides don’t change in the blink of an eye and cities don’t build themselves in a day.

“We should have a board game night,” Mali suggests from behind you. “Dunno know. Not much will be open up for long.”

“I’ll kick your ass in Scrabble,” Calum returns, “Anytime.”

And just behind is all you’ve ever really wanted. But just in front of you is all you’ve ever had, your mother and the distance. Maybe it’s not a matter of what you deserve or what is actually yours by blood. Maybe it’s just time to admit that family is also chosen. And you did all you could with your mother. You told her the truth.

A tear splashes onto your screen and you wipe at your eyes quickly. When had those formed? They didn’t even sting that time or maybe they did and you just hadn’t felt it. You’re not sure. Her message doesn’t warrant a response. Though you do imagine for a moment, her curled up on the couch, your blanket across her lap as she snacks on pistachios and the fireplace blazes next to her. The TV is playing Polar Express, her favorite Christmas film. And if the scene is sad, your mother is sad. And if the scene is happy, your mother is happy. And you like it better that she is tethered to the film’s emotions rather than anything going on outside of it.

“You down for a board game night? If not, we can find something else.” Calum’s voice is close and you can feel just how close is he off to the side of you.

“I’m down for a board game night,” you nod. Your voice quivers just a little. Crying is exhausting and you’d wish you had nothing left, but there is always the dregs left. Just enough to make your cheeks wet.

“You good? What’s up?”

“Told my mom,” you answer truthfully.

He figures it didn’t go super well given your silence. “We can watch movies in my room then.”

“She didn’t threaten to blow up the country so I think we’re good,” you continue on. “But she loves her Christmas present. So I’ll take it as a win.”

“It’s the small victories.”

You nod, looking at the photos hanging right next to the Christmas tree. “Like kicking your ass in Scrabble,” you laugh. “I’m on Mali’s team.”

“Fighting words, those are fighting words. I brought you out here and you already turned over my cookie stash. Now you’re going against me in Scrabble! Really?”

“I’ve chosen you over and over,” you admit quietly. You’ve chosen him as a friend, and confidante and you appreciate him for being there. But you don’t say all that, instead you counter with, “But I think sometimes I should kick your ass in a game of Scrabble or too.”

“You’re lucky I love you,” he returns with a laugh.

“I am,” you state simply. “I am lucky.”

288 notes · View notes

heyitsyn · 4 years

Text

Manager!Seijoh OIKS ROUTE

a/n: this,,,, is probably the angstiest out of the routes and i seem to only write angst for oikawa and i think its a problem

this is for @what-a-creative-username bc oikawa is their favorite seijoh boy so this is for you 🥺

and actually buckle your seatbelts bc this is my longest work and its the biggest mess ever :’) also, this is kinda all over the place soooo

anon:

- May we have an x Oikawa ending to the Manager AU?

- okaayyyy so this is a request for the manager series. please pleASE PLEASEEEEE- make a oikawa ending! 🥺 cuz he’s my favorite and all those times with him in the story feel like more than just friends

OMG IM SORRY BUT MY INNER OIKAWA SIMP THAT I NEVER KNEW WAS EVEN THERE STARTED TO PEAK THROUGH

so basically yea

as seen in a lot of the parts,

oikawa is very,,,, loving towards you

like his entire demeanor was just so different and so,,, authentic,,,, than the ones he shows to other females

maybe it was because you didnt want him in the beginning?

the moment he saw you, he did his first antics and he expected you to turn red and fluster and cutely shy away from him

yanno the works

yet you gave him a stony stare and denied him

ofc he was hurt and a little offended bc were you rejecting him?

hes never been rejected before and he prides himself for that but you just did and continued to do that

so he made it his mission to make you at least feel something for him

like the period part or his random proclamations of his love for you

he did it all

it didnt matter if it would bite him in the ass later because he was impulsive and he wanted you to show yourself being affected with his charms

because he was the FREAKING OIKAWA TOORU

ong this is like his validation that he is still a ladies man and has a charm that couldnt be resisted by anyone

he constantly told you that he loved you to see a reaction from you and he always was touching you whether it was just the shoulder or your hand

oikawa wanted to see you as his own personal cheerleader and you reacting to his affections would really bring him over the moon

this brings us here in the gym today

‘y/n-chan, do you want to go-’

‘oikawa-san, i dont trust you wanting to go on an innocent outing without any hidden intentions’

the team snickered and he pouted, eyes watering and curling at your side

‘y/n-chan, please? oikawa-san really wants to spend time with you~’

he begged and you finally looked up from the notebook and stared at him

god hes been much more annoying lately but you knew it was his way of letting out his anxiousness and nervousness for the incoming interhigh

so you decided to indulge him just this once and made a deal with him

‘the moment you try anything, even remotely romantic or flirty, i will leave’

you bargained but he gasped

‘what?! then what’s the point of-’

‘so you DO have hidden intentions, oikawa-san?’

you raised your eyebrow causing oikawa to quickly shake his head and detach from you

‘fine. none of that stuff, just hanging out, okay?’

he was still fussy but he accepted it

oikawa had a plan to take you to a cafe that just opened up and take you shopping and basically spoil you because girls like that, right?

they fall for boys who give them everything, right?

nope

so i read a study that surprisingly most girls arent into shopping apparently and they prefer to buy something themselves because apparently they feel indebt and dependent on men if they let them spoil them like that

idk about you but i would let oikawa spoil me tho

his plans were completely crushed when you argued with him for nearly 15 minutes to take half of your tab with the food

‘y/n-chan! i invited you out so i should pay! and boys have to pay!’

he complained, holding the other end of the tab envelope thingy but you pulled it back towards you

‘oikawa-san. you should never listen to societal normalities and instead listen and respect my wishes of paying for my half rather than going by the rules of males paying for females’

im sensing a bit of a bokuto and akaashi typa relationship between you two

oikawa shook his head and slightly stood up to lean over the table, his face approaching yours and you were slightly surprised by the sudden closeness causing you to lean back and be focused on getting away so your grip on the tab loosened

he grinned as he snatched it away from your grasp and quickly placed his card into the slot before running up to the cashier

your mouth was slacked and surprise was still written on your face even when he returned and oikawa held up a peace sign to try and lighten up

but your shock morphed into being upset

‘oikawa-san, listen here. you had-’

but he waved you off with a smile

‘no, you listen here, y/n-chan. oikawa-san loves you therefore he will give you everything in the world and all you have to do is sit there and point at whatever you want because my love will bring it to you~!’

you rolled your eyes

‘please stop being like that, oikawa-san. im not your girlfriend so dont act like my boyfriend’

he lightly scoffed, disguising it with a cough

‘y/n-chan, i dont think you understand. oikawa-san is telling you to be his good little girl and sit down. i dont understand why youre being so stubborn’

he growled softly

wHAT iS hE sAYinG

you shook your head in disbelief and stood up collecting your things making the brunette to also stand up in curiosity

‘y/n-chan? youre leaving already? i wanted to go see other places with you! i wanted to take you shopping!’

you halted and looked up at him through your long eyelashes

‘oikawa-san, i’d rather you save your money and rest your injuries instead’

you reasoned but he raised his hands in front of him to signify his wish for you to stop

‘but i want to be with you, y/n-chan’

he whispered and you blinked

‘i dont want you to spend a single dime for me after this. just you and me, oikawa-san, no money, just us’

he nodded eagerly

‘we can go anywhere you want! just,,, stay with me’

then he found himself in a bookstore with you

it was a quaint hole in the wall bookstore that you both found as you walked down the street and you excitedly dragged him inside, hand still laced together

the rows of shelves that contained different worlds in the pages were your serotonin

he watched you excitedly run to the fiction section and browsed through the different spines for anything special to check out

‘y/n-chan, i’ll go use the bathroom really quickly’

you nodded and oikawa kissed your temple before he left towards the restroom

your eyes flitted across the different titles and you snatched a book of poetry

oikawa hurriedly walked over back to you but he didnt find you at the place you were before

so he continued sifting through the mini hallways of shelves and then he stopped

it was so,,, domestic

seeing your bright eyes looking down at the book on your hands and the way your mouth slightly moved with the words

it was such a simple sight yet why did you look so beautiful?

the shimmering eyes that flittered when you came across a sentence you liked

the soft lips that kinda jutted out making his desire to feel it increase that he would give anything to feel on his own

you were so focused that you didnt notice him moving behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist, only noticing his head resting on your shoulder

‘’come, my darling, it is never too late to begin our love again’’

he mumbled to your ear and you released one hand from the book to grasp his arms that were around your middle

‘you read poetry?’

you whispered and oikawa chuckled

‘of course. a man as romantic as I am ought to be a poet’

he reasoned and you laughed

‘yet you fail to sway me, oikawa-san’

‘no, there is a difference. you dont want my love but i know you want to be loved by me, i can assure you!’

you swiftly placed the book back on its former place and you turned around to swing your arms around his neck

‘hmm,,,, love was never something for me. especially with you boys around’

oikawa looked down to see your shorter height and he caressed your hip

‘i love you, y/n, so let me love you the way you deserve to be’

he whispered not understanding the weight of his words and you looked down to hide the growing blush on your face before burying your face into his sweater-clad chest

‘so not fair oikawa-san’

you mumbled against the fabric but he heard it and he bursted into giggles

‘ehh~~ youre not being the fair one, y/n-chan! youre make it so hard to not fall for you when youre so beautiful~!’

he whines and you rested your chin on him so you could look up at him and your pout made him squeeze you tighter

‘hah?! that doesnt make sense! im nothing but a mess of-!’

you started but was cut off when he kissed your nose and whispered:

‘but what a beautiful mess you are’

okay so i know this is the saddest one out of the routes but ive just been serving fluff so the angst is coming soon!!!!!!

once you both were finished in the bookstore, you suggested going to this hill that allowed you to see the stars clearer

‘hmm, oikawa-san, there’s this place that natsu used to take me to whenever he wanted to see the stars so i think you’d like it’

you mentioned while walking on the sidewalk

oikawa’s hand was clutching yours and you were swinging it back and forth while lightly skipping and kicking the rocks

he watched you, amused, at how child-like you were acting right now but he was also touched, knowing your knowledge of his love for space

‘sure!’

the night sky allowed the stars to light up and you both shared giggles and laughs as the two of you stumbled over your feet with no light except from above

however once you made it to the top of the hill, oikawa pulled you close to him as you huddled on a seated position

‘how’d you know i would like this, y/n-chan?’

he asked and you gave him an obvious look

‘hah? its so obvious! you keep drawing the cancer constellation on your skin and you had an astrology book in your bag that you were also reading in the bus’

your answer brought warmth inside him and he never thought you were so perceptive of him

you noticed every little thing he does and hes,,,, never had someone do that before

except for iwa and his family and team, no one knows of his little ticks and the way he becomes obsessive of a topic once he gets interested in it

you noticed it all

‘that right there, its the big dipper!’

you pointed and he followed the direction of your finger before nodding

‘yep! waaahhh its much prettier seeing it higher up than my roof!’

he exclaimed and your gaze left the constellation towards the boy beside you

‘really,, pretty’

you absentmindedly muttered yet he was sharp and heard you

‘but its different to look at something much more beautiful’

this caused you to quickly go back to looking at the stars so you missed his love-filled eyes

‘i want to name my children by constellations. so that they can keep the oikawa legacy going forever like constellations being at the sky for all eternity. or naming it after the sky! then i can make sure theyre never going away’

he said and you nodded

you kept pointing out different shapes and laughing at his funky claims of what some stars connected to and created

‘oikawa-san, lets go to the star festival later’

you offered and he in turn looked away from you, turning red at the way the small lights illuminated your face and somehow making it more,,,, angelic

so he covered it up with his own teasing

‘oh? the meeting of the two lovers?’

you dont know why but your cheeks burned at the mention of the ‘L’ word and oikawa noticed, quickly poking fun of your cheeks

‘oh, y/n-chan, dont be so shy!’

you pouted and turned away

‘never mind’

oikawa’s laugh rang throughout the space and he pulled you closer, practically sitting on his lap, while pointing out the stars and him pressing kisses to your cheeks

the intertwining of your fingers combined with the kisses made you feel as if you were floating with how free you felt

and you loved every moment of it

after that outing with your captain, you were conflicted

it wasnt the first time he’s openly said he loved you and his shower of affections have been there since the very beginning

yet how come you were just now feeling,,,,, different??

you were sure you felt an odd feeling inside you when he said your name with no usual suffix and it wasnt just the food that didnt agree with you

whenever his lips came in contact with your skin, it left blazing trails of red that spread out as far as it could

the heartbeat that quickened once he kissed your forehead at your doorstep and the grin you last saw when you closed the door

or the unknown smile that you didnt know you had on until natsu, who was visiting, pointed it out

‘darling, why are you just standing there? and why are you smiling like that? its weird, stop it’

you didnt even have the attitude to scold him and you giggled before twirling and holding his hand

‘oh, natsu~ i want to dance! and sing!’

you shouted, taking him with you and dancing around the living room

tbh natsu was very worried but he remembered you mentioning that you were meeting some guy today and it might be the reason as to why you were acting like this

he was happy

you deserved to be loved as you are and you were finally getting that love

but,,,,,,,,,

it didnt last long

albeit having a lot of fun, oikawa seemed,,,, off to you

it was,,, awkward

maybe it was because you were now aware of some type of growing attraction inside of you or every little thing he does to you could send you into shapeshifting and channeling your inner tomato

forget potato, youre now a tomato

but even his touches and affections were now limited

restricted

like the the next time you both saw each other, you shyly but happily bounded up to him and greeted him good morning

but his eyes widened, taking a step back before laughing awkwardly

‘ah ha ha, hey y/n-chan’

oikawa greeted then side-stepped to enter the gym

god you felt like you were slapped in the face

you remained frozen, staring at the spot he previously occupied and your mind was running quickly

was it because your senses were now heightened that everything made you extra sensitive?

usually, oikawa would squeal at the fact you were even greeting him this morning but he literally just walked away from you

no, you were just,,,,

overreacting

right?

yea, just,,,

overreacting

iwa noticed your downcast expression and he had a feeling it had something to do with oikawa’s off expression

you hurriedly placed your bag down and took out your notebook to start taking notes for their practice

big boy ace went up to you and placed a hand on your arm which caused you to flinch

he immediately backed off, letting go and stepping back

‘wh-hey? y/n? you okay? did something happen?’

he worriedly asked but you shook your head, not even bothering to meet his eyes

‘uh-yea. mhm, perfectly fine’

you lied and he wanted to press further but mattsun and makki called you over to check out their blocks so you ran to them

but he had a feeling you were just taking every opportunity to not answer his questions

while you were pre-occupied with the meme team, iwa marched up to oiks and tugged him around to fully talk to him

oikawa watched your interaction and he knew iwa would immediately start questioning him too

‘oi, what the hell did you do’

there was an underlying tone in his best friend’s voice that he didnt particularly like

oikawa did what he does best and plastered a smile on his face

‘hm? what do you mean, iwa-chan?’

‘what the hell do you mean what do i mean? you speak japanese dont you? so tell me what the hell happened during your date because it seems like shit happened and now youre both acting weird’

oikawa flinched at the blunt words but it was the truth

he was acting weird and this caused you to probably act weird too

god hes so dumb

but he,,, was going through stuff right now

it was a situation that he didnt want to involve you in

and,,, seeing you dancing with natsu with the biggest smile on your face through the window of your house

okay guys dont think this is weird or stalker-ish bc i actually saw this in a kdrama ages ago and i thought it was just so sweet and cute and dont take it the weird and stalker creepy way :(

it certainly brought him pain

this was what he wanted though, right?

he wanted to see a reaction from you with his antics and he wanted to see you flustered and giggling like one of his lovestruck girls

but dear god that was when he became aware of your growing feelings

oikawa even saw it before you did with the way you gave him those longing stares and small smiles and the small squeezes of his hand when he would laugh

initially, he wouldve teased you for it but then he kept quiet

this entire time he knew you, he felt,,, love,,, for you

and by god, he was so scared

he wanted to run away

because he was well aware of his personality and him as a person

he could make you smile the biggest and the happiest but he was also the type to make you feel the most pain and cause the deepest wounds on your already fragile heart

he didnt want that responsibility and burden

it was too risky

oikawa knew he was a ticking time bomb and he was afraid if you got even just a centimeter closer

you would be the one hit with the blast the most

maybe it was that sight that made him want to distance himself

it was a sight that made him realize that you deserved someone much better and that someone couldn’t be him

the happiness that danced in your eyes and the smile that decorate your beautiful face

can you imagine the irony?

the moment you notice of your growing feelings, the moment he decides to withdraw and pull away

.......

practice was,,, suffocating?

the team knew of the tension these past few days and you both def were not the same

oikawa has not said he loved you or even pestered you once and as much as the guys hated seeing it, they were getting worried

did you both fight?

what happened?

when oikawa was talking with the coach and you were grabbing something from the storage room, they immediately took this chance to pounce on iwaizumi since he was the closest to the both of you

‘oi, iwaizumi, the hell happened?’

makki asked and the others nodded, wondering the same thing

but they were surprised when he shrugged

‘dont know. stupidkawa refuses to talk and i dont want to bother y/n bc she seems,,, weird about it’

if iwaizumi didnt know, then something serious did happen

you and oikawa continued this weird eggshell walking and you even gave up after trying to ask so many times on what was wrong and only to be answered with,

‘nothing~! y/n-chan should never have to worry her pretty little head about old me~!’

that answer didnt bother you

it was his smile

the genuine smile that you were so happy to receive as it was only for you

now seems gone and replaced with his fake one as if you now became one of his fangirls

what took the cake was his appearance to practice with a girl in his arm

they were both laughing and seemed trapped in their own little bubble to even notice the team’s wide eyes and concerned looks to you

you didnt even notice your teary eyes until mattsun quite literally picked you up and shouted he wanted to help you fill up the water bottles

he placed you outside, sitting on a bench by the gym

you were biting your lip and staring at the ground while he was leaning back and looking at the sky

‘the sky is very pretty today’

he complimented but it wasnt heard by you

you only came back to reality when he nudged you gently and you shot him a crooked smile but he sighed at the look of hurt written all over your face

‘oh, y/n, i am getting increasingly worried for our generation. theres so many sad eyes on happy faces’

he tutted and returned to gazing back up to the clouds

you scrunched your nose and scoffed

‘i dont understand you, mattsun-san’

you mumbled and fiddled with your fingers

mattsukawa issei shook his head and pointed above

‘y/n-chan, our eyes enables us to identify beauty and we have the urge to immediately capture it to remember that we did find something beautiful. yet, we feel hopeless as we cant to put the beauty on paper because we are only given one crayon to draw the sunset’

it felt all muddled

there was no sense in his words and you were sniffed, trying to understand

‘mattsun-san, did you eat any more of those candy makki-san bought from that one guy?’

he bursted into laughter and you couldnt help but quirk your lip at the sound of his joy

‘who knows? taka is my boy and i trust him so if he gave it to me, then,,,, it cant be that bad, right?’

you blanched

‘mattsun-san! im not about to go pick you up from the er again just because makki-san dared you to do something!’

mattsun finally wandered his eyes over to you and he tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear

‘thats the thing with you, y/n-chan. youre quick to love others but you lose pieces of yourself in the process. i have no right to tell you who deserves it but please ask yourself, is that sacrifice worth it?’

you knew he wasnt talking about your love for the team

but for the love for a certain setter that didnt go unnoticed by the middle blocker

leave it to mattsun to make you laugh and you were letting out your last giggles as you stepped into the gym

oikawa stopped talking and focused on the two of you,

more specifically,

you

he watched as you laughed and swatted mattsun’s elbow as he jokingly made fun of your height by resting his arm on top of your head

yes this was what it was supposed to be

you deserved someone who could make you smile and only smile

he doesnt even hesitate but even imagine the tears that would fill those beautiful eyes and he knows it would all be his fault

he will stop that from happening way before it would occur

he will do anything to make sure you will never cry because of him so he will distance himself and now, he gives up

it could just be his stress and insecurities talking but he knows right now,

he wants you away from him

oikawa tooru, the boy who could get anyone he wants, couldn’t get the girl he wishes for the most

dear god was it laughable

after practice was finished,

you quietly and quickly packed up the nets and picked up the balls to get yourself out of there

these past few days made you feel so much confusion that it hurts

if there was anything worse than him not talking to you,

it was not knowing why

that curiosity and desperate need for answers creates wild and self-destructive theories

did you chew too loudly when you ate?

were you boring and not as fun as the others?

was he angry and humiliated of his pride as a man when you scolded him for paying for you?

has he gotten tired of you now that he knows who you really are?

that last question suddenly created a new set of tears to appear

throughout the day, you were so composed and distracted yourself with the lectures of your teachers and not anything of why this certain brunette was avoiding you

but a single insecure question made that wall crumble and you hurriedly shoved the trolley of balls into the storage room and grabbed your bag before rushing out of there

you sniffled and hurriedly walked home so you could go and cry on your bed in peace

but ofc

hiroshi natsu exists so ofc he distracted you when you entered the house with a red puffy face

quietly, he led you to the couch and he wordlessly grabbed a tissue box from the coffee table to dab away the tears

you sniffled and clenched your fists to will yourself to stop these dumb salty water drops

‘i cant tell you its going to be okay because i dont want you to cling on to false hope. but i know it hurts. its worse that of all people, oikawa tooru had to be your first ever crush’

he chuckled

you took a shaky breath and wiped your face

‘this was why i shouldnt have liked him. god! all we did was eat dinner and look at the stupid fcking sky! thats it! so why-! why do i suddenly like him?! AM I THAT DESPERATE?!’

you wailed and blew your nose while natsu patted your back

‘i mean,,, to others it sounds like youre easy to sway’

you looked up from the tissue to glare at him but he continued

‘but to me,,,, it sounds like it was just the last push you needed to finally see oikawa tooru in that way’

you nodded, laughing weakly

‘i dont know why im acting like a lunatic like this. hes just a crush anyway so it’ll probably fade in a day or two so bear with me until then, kay?’

but his grim shake of his head gave you no hope

‘rather than fade, it will grow. and i might have to bear with this for the rest of our lives. now you be a bad bitch and sit there and look fine as hell while i go order 10 boxes of pizza and load up teen moms’

the impromptu movie night distracted you a little bit from it all but you still couldn’t help but think about it

GOD WHY WAS NATSU SO DRAMATIC?!

BECAUSE OF THAT IDIOT YOU ARE NOW SITTING IN CLASS, BAGS UNDER YOUR EYES, AND BREAKING YOUR PENCILS IN HALF

all you have to do is make sure you think of oikawa doing something disgusting to make that attraction fade away

oikawa licking his toes

oikawa licking his-

‘y/n?’

you snapped out of your daydream when kunimi reached out to you

kindaichi, who came over for lunch, and him were staring at you in concern and they shared a look

‘y/n, something must’ve happened that day with captain’

kunimi started but kindaichi snapped

‘see?! this is why we shouldve never let you go! the first time you go with him and now youre a mess! tell us! did he force himself on you?! did he-?!’

you stopped the onion top boy with a forced smile and a squeeze on the arm

‘o-oikawa-san would never do that, kindaichi. hes better than that’

‘but clearly not because look at you!’

he shouted and you flinched

kunimi hurriedly knocked him to the floor

‘get ahold of yourself, kindaichi’

he mumbled and you stood up and walked to the bathroom at the west wing that nobody uses so you could freely cry without any suspicion

was it obvious?

was it clear that you have been a mess after a week of being ignored by oikawa?

nah, youre just being a dramatic little shit

youre sticking to your word of quickly forgetting about the whole ordeal

but you definitely cant if your nightmare was happening before your eyes

as you approached the bathroom from the end of the hallway,

you saw an unknown girl but an all too familiar boy giggling and rushing to get inside the bathroom

and for good measure, oikawa looked around to make sure no one was there but then he saw you

despite the distance between you, he could see your glistening eyes from the sunlight that seeped in from the big windows

he saw the way your hand trembled and your eyes twitched when haruna poked her head out to see why he was still outside

‘oikawa-senpai~~’

she drawled out and reached a manicured nail to his wrist

your eyes followed her touch and then you and the boy shared eye contact

through the watery eyes, he could clearly make out your silent plead

please dont go to her

please

stay with me

dont go

but he went in anyways

------

that was the moment you forced yourself to not think about him anymore

as if you werent even working your hardest lately, you will work your hardest now

everything between you and him was now strictly professional as practice that day signified the very first day of your moving on stage

you couldnt believe these past 2 weeks has been a real nightmare yet you were slowly waking up from it

there was nothing you could do about it bc oikawa obviously didnt mean anything he said to you and maybe thats what ticked you off the most

you were easily led on

he blindly tugged you along the moment you saw his smile

he definitely thought of you as just as a game and when he finally got tired and bored, he dropped you and went to another

kunimi and kindaichi noticed the coldness of your eyes and the stoic expression on your face and they were genuinely terrified of you so they didnt want to ask any questions

even with packing up, you aggeressively shoved everything in your bag and the blep boy finally gained the courage and nervously tapped his finger on your desk to gain your attention

you swiftly dropped in your pencil case and looked at him

‘what’

he flinched at the cold tone and his eyes showed concern

‘uh-i-are you okay?’

he slowly asked and you visibly clenched your jaw but you nodded anyways

‘never better’

you didnt bother waiting for him to finish packing up and even passed kindaichi by the door as you were walking towards the girl’s locker room to change into your manager outfit

your entrance to the gym made the noise die down and you noticed the third years with glares on and aggressively practicing

‘whats wrong with all of you’

you asked and iwa scoffed before shaking his head and opening his arm

‘cmere. i missed you’

he said and ngl you were a little confused bc this wasnt something iwa usually did but you still stuck to his side

‘why-’

‘he told me what happened’

iwa whispered and you stiffened in his arms

‘w-what?’

iwaizumi flung the boy to his own bedroom wall

he huffed, panting at both the weight of oikawa tooru and the intense anger that burned through his veins

‘you-you are a piece of shit!’

he shouted and he moved to grab oikawa’s collar and lifted him so the brunette could see the fire and disgust present in his olive eyes

‘you think i didnt see what the hell you did? fcking leaving y/n sobbing as you-you-! AGH!’

iwaizumi couldnt even finish his sentence as he was so angry that he harshly sent oikawa flying back down to his floor

oikawa was crying

not from the beating

but from his regrets

god he knew he messed up

he shouldnt have done it

but he did

iwa ran his hands through his hair and angrily sat on his best friend’s bed, eyes shooting daggers at oikawa

‘right now. tell me the truth right fcking now or so help me god’

he hissed

oikawa tooru shuffled closer to the wall and brought his knees up to his chest

‘im so scared’

he sobbed

‘im so scared, iwa-chan’

his tears were pouring down and he brought a hand to muffle his cries

‘i-i just w-wanted to-to see something out of her. li-like a reaction! because she wasnt like th-the others! but instead i fell in love! me! and she did too!’

he pointed and quickly stood up, pacing and gripping his hair

‘it was all just for fun! she-she knows im like that! yet she still fell in love with me!’

‘how could you tell she-’

‘BECAUSE OF HER EYES!’

even iwa flinched

‘HER EYES SHOWED ME LOVE! HAPPINESS! AN-AND YOU KNOW WHAT SHE DID?! WHEN SHE GOT HOME?! THROUGH HER WINDOW, I SAW HER DANCING! SO HAPPY SHE WAS DRAGGING THAT BASTARD COUSIN OF HERS AROUND! I DID THAT! I CAUSED THAT!’

there was so much confusion in this poor spiky haired boy bc he knew oikawa was in love with their manager so why is he avoiding her now even though she reciprocates those feelings?

‘im missing something here, oikawa. youre telling me, she loves you, but youre here regretting that?’

his tone of disbelief made oikawa shut his eyes in frustration

‘DONT YOU UNDERSTAND?! YOU CALL ME A PIECE OF SHIT EVERYDAY AND I KNOW THAT! I FCKING KNOW THAT IM A PIECE OF SHIT AND A FCKING BASTARD!’

he shrieked

thankfully, his family wasnt home currently to see him breakdown

‘SO WHY THE HELL DO I DESERVE A LITERAL ANGEL?! A GODDESS?! A BEAUTIFUL PERSON FOR ME?! A FCKED UP NARCISSIST EGOTISTICAL IDIOT?! AN IDIOT WHO’S TOO PRIDEFUL TO GET THE HELP HE NEEDS?! I COULD HURT HER! I COULD DESTROY HER IN A SINGLE SNAP! THE SCARIEST FACT IS I COULD DO IT WITHOUT THINKING! I COULD SAY THE WORST THINGS TO HER AND IM SO SCARED THAT I WILL HURT HER! I DONT DESERVE HER, IWA! SHE DESERVES SOME-SOMEONE LIKE YOU! AND IT HURTS TO THINK THAT BUT I DONT CARE! A-AND WHAT IF WE GET TOGETHER?! HM?! HOW LONG DO YOU THINK IT WOULD TAKE HER TILL SHE FINDS SOMEONE BETTER?! HOW MUCH CAN SHE TAKE OF GOING THROUGH EPISODES OF SOME DEPRESSED, INSECURE, PRIDEFUL ASHOLE LIKE ME?! HOW LONG DO YOU THINK SHE WOULD REALIZE HER SELF-WORTH AND KNOW HOW MUCH OF A SHITTY PERSON I AM?! I CANT-!’

iwaizumi pushed himself up from the bed and rushed to grab his best friend before forcing the brown haired boy to his chest

oikawa tooru was having a panic attack

he heaved and wheezed and loudly let out his cries and iwa made them sit on the floor where he could comfortably cry

‘youre such an idiot, tooru. but she knows that, doesn’t she? she knows who you are, what you are, how you are, your flaws, everything- she knows all that. yet she still fell for you, doesnt that tell you something? for once in your life, consider other people’s feelings before yours. y/n is one hell of a girl and i wont allow you to let her slip past you just like that. i know- we all know- how much of a broken person you are, oikawa, and it hurts us all to know that no matter what we do, we can never fix you. but y/n-gosh, y/n is the only person to even have a chance to do that. and you admitted that youre depressed and you have a problem? well,, get some help for that, oikawa. the first step to be better is by accepting the only person who can accept you for you’

iwaizumi didnt reveal to the other third years of what happened but just said that oikawa did a really terrible thing to you and hes currently repenting for it

however mattsun and makki pretended they didnt hear oikawa regretting it and focused on the fact that the captain even had the NERVE to hurt you

iwa squeezed you tightly and you returned the hug

but he whispered something in your ear

‘everyone makes mistakes, y/n. the only thing we can do is to repent for them’

you pulled away, about to ask him what hes talking about but one look from his eyes made you realize what he was talking about

he mustve known what happened but hes defending him

you clenched your jaw and looked away

‘i destroyed myself for a stupid reason and its one of my regrets. im not going to make the same mistake twice’

you quietly hissed and moved to your station by the bench to begin taking your notes

you noticed that oikawa was late for practice today and although you kinda hate him, you are still a manager first and he was one of your responsibilities

you were about to go to the coach and tell him you’d look for the setter when the gym door slid and in came the devil himself

but there was a large bruise on his cheek and a cut on his lip

your feet moved quicker than the rest of you that you were in front of him in a second

‘what happened to you’

you worriedly asked and oikawa just stared at you

his eyes shook and watered at the sight of you

this was the first time you talked to him without any coldness in your tone and he missed it

he missed hearing you

his silence made you roll your eyes and you roughly grabbed his arm before throwing him on the bench you were sitting on

the team watched, on edge of whats happening, but was put back to practice when you gave them a side-eye

your fingers opened the ointment and your kit to treat the bleeding lip and the swollen side of his face

‘youre the captain. its not wise to fight before practice and be late. youre hindering everyone else’

you coldly scolded and oikawa shrank back

‘it was iwa-chan’

he mumbled and you stopped and quirked an eyebrow

‘what? why did he-’

then you froze

iwa knew

and he beat oikawa up for it

he fought his best friend for it

and iwa didnt look fazed at all

despite being a muscle freak, iwa was very soft and his iron defiency made him prone to bruising

yet why was he so clean

it was like iwa hit oikawa but in turn, the other didnt fight back

you must stop

youre overthinking again and youre over analyzing it and youll end up at the place you were before

however

oikawa noticed the dawn of realization on your face and he shakily reached out to touch your hand

‘i,,, didnt. because i deserved it. i-’

he sniffed and you knew he would start crying right now

the last thing he wanted would be to cry in front of the others so you immediately stood up and went to the coach

‘coach, oikawa-san needs treatment that i dont currently have with me. i would need to take him to the infirmary’

he nodded and waved you off so you had the clear

oikawa flinched when you harshly grabbed his arm and pulled him up so he could follow you out the door

it was such an awkward silence between you both but you bit your lip, focusing on the fact that you were just doing this bc he was your obligation

it was like you threw him to one of the cots then you rummaged through the medicine cabinet for an extra cotton ball and a better ointment

‘i fcked up, y/n’

your movements halted and your eyes drifted down, looking at the tiled floor

‘i messed up so bad’

he hoarsely said and you could tell how much pain he was going through by the way he let out a shaky breath

‘oika-’

you made a move to turn around but he stopped you

‘no! dont look at me! just-just dont,,, i cant-i wont be able to say it if i look at you’

he cried and you nodded

oikawa leaned his forehead on his intertwined hands with his eyes on the floor before starting

‘i want to say im sorry. because everything, all of this, it all started as a game to me’

you closed your eyes tightly, tears welling up in your eyes

‘you,,, you didnt bat a single eyelash at me. you didnt try to please me, you didnt chase after me, no, you didnt see me like that. it made me,,, i dont know,,, confused,,, that girls like you even existed. it,,, not gonna lie, ticked me off and i was offended that you brushed me away so easily like i was some,, some bug on your shoulder. so,,, i wanted to see,,, and try,,, if i could make you,,, like me. and i know! i know its messed up but god y/n i swear i didnt want to hurt you. i just,,, i wanted to see if i could ever make you look at me like the way they did but it backfired. i wanted you to chase me but in the end, i ended up chasing after you. i chased and i ran without knowing that you were slowing down for me so i could catch you. that,,, that date made me realize of how,,, how perfect and beautiful you are a-and how unworthy i am to even receive anything from you. i saw how happy you were after that, dancing, twirling that poor idiot around. at first,, it made me so so proud. and so happy that i made you do that. i put those stars from the sky into your eyes and somehow you made them shine much brighter. then,,,, i got scared. i started thinking about,,, about me. and how i am. ive been trying so hard to please other people that ive lost sight of the real me and how terrible i am. and y-you! i just- y/n its so hard for me to explain all this right now- my current mental state, the pain on my face- i cant,,, but at that moment i realized that you,,, you were better off without me. youre so kind, so beautiful, so smart, you could go do so many good things in life. and im just going to hold you back. i didnt want to hurt you so i,,, chose to just cut the string now and,, we wont get hurt later. but,,, i regret it. i regret it so much, y/n. all my life,,, everyone cooed and awed at this child just because of how he looked like and,,, he got used to it. everyone wanted me because i am oikawa tooru but they didnt want the entire oikawa tooru. iwa,,, iwa hit it into my head that,,, you,, were the only one who bothered to even see that side of me’

when he finished, he looked up but gasped at the sight of you standing in front of him

fat tears were rolling down your face and you wore the angriest expression

‘i-,,,i hate you so much, oikawa tooru’

you seethed

your eyebrows were scrunched up together and your nostrils flared as you cried harder and you let out a cry

‘i hate you, i hate you, i hate you’

you chanted and oikawa saw his vision cracking

his world was now falling apart

he did the last thing he would ever do and you were now at your most pained moment

‘youre so selfish, impulsive, and terrible’

you whined and punched his shoulder at each word

‘but i love you so much. i hate you because you made me cry and made me feel so hurt but i still love you. why-why cant you stop playing your games, tooru? stop playing with me now! stop it! stop-!’

you didnt get to say anything else because he grabbed your waist and held you in his arms

it was like you didnt even weigh a thing by the way he lifted you to sit on his lap and he gently led your face to his neck

‘im so sorry’

he repeated constantly while brushing your hair and rubbing your waist

you and oikawa tooru spent an hour sitting on that bed just crying

after a while, you stopped and resulted to just hiccuping

‘youre selfish, tooru. you listened to yourself and did whatever you wanted rather than talking to me. i hate you but i,,, i love you, oikawa-san. i shouldnt say that but if i dont, im afraid you’ll go ahead and do something stupid again’

he chuckled but he squeezed you tighter

‘i dont,,, want to let you go, y/n-chan. let me be selfish a little longer and love you all to myself’

and by god did he become selfish

it took you a while to get over your defensive and guarded actions from him but you were slowly finding yourself forgiving him

YO IM SORRY BUT I WOULDVE DROPPED HIM LIKE PLEASE WHAT THE HECK Y/N REALLY REALLY LOVES THIS GUY

natsu absolutely despises him still and whenever oikawa even comes over, hes always glaring at him and oikawa would shift uncomfortably but accept it bc he deserved it

‘i didnt realize how badly i hurt you, y/n. i could never imagine you accepting me still. ill spend the rest of my life making it up to you’

he promised and you laughed

you were both lounging on your bedroom floor, mean girls playing in the background, while just staring at the ceiling

you brought your clasped hands up so you could look at it

then a goofy smile settled on your face and you turned to look at him

‘just continue loving me, oikawa-san. thats all i ask for’

then graduation came

of course the boys were all teary but oikawa seemed even more sad and he refused to look at you the whole day

you figured it could just be him being mopey over not seeing you everyday like he was able to before

then you both were walking home and he still hasnt looked at you

the silence was killing you but you just kept a tight grip on his hand and he would smile at you and kiss your hands

it still didnt wash away the odd feeling in your stomach but you would talk to him later after you gave him present

for the weekend, you were able to convince your parents to go on a beach trip at okinawa while you made natsu go over to tokyo and stay with katsuki

oikawa didnt know your family was out so he stood by your door, waiting for you to enter

you both stood there, staring at the floor, not knowing what to say

until you softly grabbed his hand

‘come in. i want,,, to talk’

you mumbled and oikawa’s eyes widened, silently panicking that you possibly found out

it was a secret not even iwaizumi knew so you couldnt have known

right?

you led him up to your room and pushed him down to sit on your bed

FLKDSJFLKDJ WHY AM I DOING THIS WHAT IS HAPPENING SOSOSOSOSOSOSOS

ALSO Y/N IS NOW 17 ON THIS YOU GUYS LIKE BLS SHES ONE OF THE OLDEST IN HER CLASS BC HER BIRTHDAY SITUATION SO SHES BEYOND THE AGE OF CONSENT IN JAPAN, RIGHT?

oikawa was confused and he watched you bite your lip and look off to the side

‘y/n-chan? why are you nervous? you said you wanted to talk?’

he asked

but you unzipped your skirt and let it drop on the floor

‘for graduating,,, and working hard for these years,,, im giving you this’

you finally met his eyes

then he knew

oikawa blanched and he quickly stood up and placed his hands on your shoulder

‘y-y/n! uh-i-are you sure? a-arent you-’

‘accept it, tooru. youre,,, my first love,,, so,,,, ill give you my other first’

KSDLFJSDKFJSDLK OKAY YALL LETS STOP THERE FOR NOW AND GO TO THE TIMESKIP OKAY?

OKAY

-----

oikawa was running in the airport

despite the shouts of civilians he accidentally pushed, he made no sign of stopping and if anything, ran faster till he reached outside

the rush of his sudden trip home was clear as he was only carrying a duffel bag full of clothing he hurriedly stuffed inside

when he met the orange ninja boy in brazil, he quickly caught up with his underclassman and got drinks to talk about japan the last 2 years of his career

they both got simple beers and some appetizer to share as they reminisced the past

hinata was excitedly talking about the reconciliation of kindaichi and kageyama and how they were still enemies on court but were now friends

‘eh~? tobio-chan making up with kin-chan? what’s next? flying sushi?’

he joked and hinata laughed

‘it was partly of your manager, oikawa-san! she helped them make up!’

the previous smile on oikawa’s face slipped at the mention of you

‘hmm,,,, she always made the impossible happen’

he mumbled and hinata nodded

‘l/n-chan became close to kageyama through kindaichi and kunimi and she would bring us food and stuff too! but only on times she wasn’t busy’

the ninja said and dipped his chip into the salsa while oikawa stared at the liquid

‘you guys must be special for her to go all the way to karasuno’

then hinata said something that caused the brunette’s ears to fall deaf to the loudness of the bar

‘it wasn’t a problem since coach ukai took care of her son’

oikawa didnt even give hinata another word when he rushed out of that bar after overcoming his shock and straight into his apartment

there were tears that blurred his vision as he shoved in shirts and pants and other necessities for a trip to japan

he argued with the front desk lady to give him a ticket to the earliest flight to japan despite her saying that it was hard to give him a seat when the plane was full

but luck seemed to pity this baby daddy as someone pulled their ticket out and he was able to take it for himself

it was the longest journey of his life and his hour long layover gave him an opportunity to call the only person he thought would even know where you were

iwaizumi

oikawa paced at the waiting lobby with his phone pressed to his ear as he listened to the ringing of his call

he bit his lip in anticipation and ran his fingers through his hair for the upteenth time until finally it was picked up

‘damn you, shittykawa, do you understand what time-’

‘iwaizumi, is y/n still in japan?’

of course his best friend was startled with the question as the setter hasnt asked him any question related to you in a few years

‘wha-how the hell am i supposed to know that? im in california, oikawa’

‘dont lie to me. she still talks to you since youre probably the godfather of my son’

he hissed and iwaizumi was now fully awake and his heartbeat was beating quite quickly

how did he figure out

‘oi, oikawa, listen to me she-’

‘please! dont!’

he shouted and didnt care if he startled anyone else around him

‘dont lie to me! of all people! you dont lie to me!’

‘why should i tell you when you were the one who up and ran? huh?’

oikawa fell silent and iwaizumi could hear his sobs through the phone

iwa sat up on his bed, leaning against the wall as he contemplated revealing this secret you begged him to keep since his best friend sounded like he was on the verge of breaking apart

poor oikawa tooru already suffered so much

‘i swear youre going to make me regret this. but y/n is in,,,, tokyo and,,,,, she,,,,,, didnt want you to know about,,,, about everything. well-she did want to tell you but she had her own reasons not to and,,, and its perfectly valid for her to choose whatever she wanted. and yes, i knew and yes, i am his godfather but please, oikawa, whatever you do, dont go to japan, you understand? shes still hurt by it, idiot, and shes angry and you sound angry and-’

but of course,

oikawa didnt listen and he hung up but continued his pacing but this time, tears blurring his vision

the taxi driver noticed his frazzled expression and quickly stopped in front of him

oikawa gratefully hopped in and quickly told the driver the address he forced out of iwaizumi (with great reluctance)

‘this is the last time, understand me, tooru? youve already hurt her so many times and i cant bear to see it all over again so you need to fix it. but you mess this up again, not only will you lose her, you’ll lose me too’

the old man felt sorry for the young lad and stepped on the pedal to get him to his destination in the quickest time

the apartment building was several stories tall yet the elevator ride felt like a snap when he finally arrived at the floor your apartment was supposedly on

what the real kicker was when he stood outside your door and he hesitated

would you let him in?

would you even want to see him?

would you punch him?

would you cry?

he was so worried but didnt realize that he already pushed the doorbell and a faint shout from inside made his heart jump

‘UNCLE KYOOoooo,,,,,’

the door opened and the boy’s voice went quiet, knowing this wasnt the man he was expecting and he quickly and harshly slammed the door shut to his face

oikawa was stunned

was this the right apartment?

did iwaizumi trick him?

but those thoughts were wiped away when the door opened again and a girl was softly chiding the boy before turning around with a smile to greet the person but then it fell

similar to her son, she slammed the door shut and oikawa panicked

‘y-y/n? h-hey!’

he exclaimed and with a clenched fist, he stood there

you were hyperventilating inside

how did he find you?

why is he here?

does he know?

‘mama? who’s that oji?’

the bright eyes of yozora looked up at you and you blinked, briefly seeing the man behind the door at the face of your son

you sucked in a deep breath before smiling lightly

‘yoyo-kun, can you go play with dino-kun while mama and oji talk?’

yozora blinked back up at you before shrugging and nodding and running off to your shared room

once he was gone, you quickly composed yourself and opened the door again, shocked to see oikawa already half-way down the hallway to the elevator

‘would you like some tea before you go?’

you called out and he stopped, almost giving himself whiplash at how fast he turned his head

it was like his instincts took over when your voice started speaking to him

as if he was 18 again, oikawa found himself trailing after your voice and you nervously led him inside

his eyes were moving really fast as if he wanted to quickly soak it all in before it would disappear

this was where you lived

with your son

who was his son too

there was a picture by the door of you and the little boy from earlier

it was at the planetarium nearby and tooru’s heart bloomed at the sparkle in that child’s eyes

jesus, he was beautiful

‘yozora. thats his name’

you said, noticing him staring at the picture

KDFLJSDKFSD PRINCE NOCTIS LUCIS CAELUM BABIESSS!!!

‘night sky’

oikawa whispered

the teapot was still hot and you were able to pour him a cup so you both sat on the dining table where he sat across from you

‘n-nice place’

he stuttered out

you nodded, tracing the rim of your own cup

‘its natsu’s and katsuki’s actually. my parents kicked me out so they offered to let me stay with them’

you reasoned, not meaning to sound cold but it came out as if you were being passive agressive

‘o-oh? ho-how is he-’

‘oikawa-san, what are you doing here?’

he visibly flinched

calling him by his last name stung since you called him ‘tooru’ the whole relationship so returning to his surname is your way of cutting off the whole thing

‘i,,, i found out. a few days ago. from shoyo. he told me their coach looked after yozora and,,, i knew he is,,, mine’

you let out a humorless chuckle

a scoff

then you looked up to meet his gaze, oikawa gulping at the hardness in your eyes

‘what makes you think so? what makes you think that i wasnt angry and spiteful enough to give myself to someone else so they could have what the great oikawa tooru had? what makes you think that i would remain loyal to you despite you just running off to the other side of the fcking world without a word? hm? oikawa-san? what.makes.you.think.so?’

out of guilt, he broke the stare to his own steaming cup of green tea

‘nothing’

you whispered

he shakingly sighed and you could tell he was about to cry

but you rolled your eyes and crossed your arms

‘go ahead and cry, oikawa-san. im used to temper tantrums. i have a son for god’s sake’

‘you would never do that to me, y/n. you promised that you would always love me and only me and i know you take promises to your grave’

he reasoned but it sounded like it was him convincing himself

the dry laugh you let out made him fidget

‘and you promised that you would always talk to me and communicate. yours is a much lighter and easier promise than mine yet you get to break it and i can’t? no, oikawa-san. to me, its like that year never even happened’

you were now just trying to rile him up due to your anger towards him

you shouldve let him walk to the elevator and leave and never come back

but you still invited him in anyways

oikawa snapped his head up

‘you cant say that or mean it, y/n. that boy over there, hes a reminder of me. he looks exactly like me so you cant ever forget what we have’

‘what he had. it was simply the past, years ago, and everything has changed since then. dont you dare try to dig up buried secrets, oikawa’

‘but why did you keep him from me?’

he pleaded, desperate for any answer as to why

‘i had every right. the moment you boarded that plane, he no longer was yours. you left, i stayed, and you cant just come back here and-’

‘mama?’

a small voice from the corner halted your loud voice and you and tooru looked at him

oikawa yozora was exactly like his father

from his loud and obnoxious personality to even the brown hair and brown eyes

KFDSLJFKDS REMEMBER THAT KID FROM OLD UKAI’S VOLLEYBALL CLUB?! THATS WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE!!

he looked absolutely nothing like you and people even get confused when you say hes your son

um maam i think hes my son since he came out of me

so oikawa was right

yozora was your daily reminder of the mistakes of your youth but he was anything but that as he is the greatest thing to ever happen to you

yozora became your light when you fell into depression after oikawa ran away

sure, your parents absolutely loathed poor child as he is a child of a child

but you kept him because he means the world to you

and the world he holds are in his eyes

‘i,, i heard yelling,,, and,,, thought mama and oji were sad,,, so,,, i bring my,,, star book because,,, it makes me happy,,, and i think,,, mama and oji will,,, be happy too’

he mumbled out and you smiled at him before moving to go to him but oikawa stopped you

his eyes begged you and you glared at him, deciding to withdraw

if he decides to do anything, you could always knee him between the legs

he slowly approached yozo and kneeled down to reach eye-level

‘hello, my name is oikawa tooru’

he softly introduced himself and yozora just stared at him

‘you oikawa too? but i oikawa! mama is he me?!’

yozora shouted and you giggled, running to take him into your arms

‘oh, darling, how curious you are. oji isnt you, baby. he just,,, has the same last name as you. like mama has hers but you have,,, oji’s’

your eyes drifted to oikawa but he remained on the floor, staring at the spot where yozo stood on

you kept his last name

you listened to him from that night at the hill by naming his son after the night sky

my god, you are so,,,

‘--the book. oji? do you?’

he was brought back to reality when your son was now back on the floor and poking his shoulder

tooru blinked and looked at him

‘huh?’

‘i ask if you want to read my book with me, oji. mama say she happy but you still sad so my book make you happy’

not even an hour of meeting him, oikawa tooru already loves him

the volleyball player nodded and yozora offered a tiny hand to which he accepted

‘this way. mama say to read so she make food. i like food, do you like food, oji? i like food. i like milk bread. mama say papa like it so i like what papa like. i want papa to come home. sit there’

tooru’s heart beat faster every word his child uttered and it even went faster when he saw yozo struggle to get up on the couch

the pair of big hands that brought him on the cushion made him happily sigh then uttered a small ‘thank you’

‘my mama say that my papa give me my book and say to take care of it until he come back. and she say he come back when im a master of space! so i study and read my book every day and know all so papa can hurry home!’

tooru didnt even notice tears falling down his face until yozo blinked up at him with his small hands grasping his cheeks to wipe it off

‘why you cry, oji? no sad! no sad! here! i read my book so you not cry’

he babbled and quickly pried the book open and read out the words on the page, not realizing he was saying most of it wrong

that book was oikawa’s

the book that he read all the time in the bus and now, it was passed on to his son

you leaned against the wall and gasped at the sight of yozo just babbling and oikawa crying

‘yoyo-kun? what did you do to tooru?’

you fussed and sat down next to oikawa

yozo worriedly looked at him and now his own eyes were watering and soon enough, you have 2 boys crying in your living room

GURL IM SORRY BUT I WOULDA KICKED OUT OIKAWA LIKE NOT EVEN OFFER HIM TEA OR ANYTHING IM SORRY IM TIRED AND IDK WHATS GOING ON

‘a-ah, y-yozo! yozo-kun! oji is,,, just,,, uh,, sad because,, because pluto isnt a planet anymore!’

yozo sniffled and he went closer to oikawa

‘me too, oji. yoyo sad too because pluto is just small. other planet are onii-chan and onee-chan but pluto is baby so they not like him’

he rambled and oikawa pulled him closer

‘mama, can we keep oji? nana-san and katsu-san will like him! promise!’

you couldnt even believe what was going on right now

not only did your baby daddy ex-boyfriend suddenly pop up, your son was now wanting to keep him

you made a move to of course deny his request but oikawa opened his mouth first

‘yozora-kun, of course you could keep me. im your papa, after all’

OKAY THAT WAS IT

YOU DID NOT WANT HIM TO SAY THAT TO YOZORA

out of shock, you slapped him across the face

causing yanno what happened

oikawa screamed

a/n: yoooooo SO LIKE THIS IS RIDICULOUS LIKE THIS IS BOOTY IM SORRY BUT THIS IS ALSO IN MY GOING TO EDIT LIST AND I CHOSE THIS OUT OF MY 10 OTHER VERSIONS OF THIS ROUTE AND I MAY OR MAY NOT RELEASE ANOTHER ONE JUST TO MAKE UP FOR IT. but try not to let this flop 🥺 👉👈

ALSO CHI THAT K+Y AND THE T+Y IS ON THE WORKS RN AND IM LIKE HALF WAY DONE SO I MIGHT RELEASE THEM BOTH AT THE SAME TIME

399 notes · View notes

azucanela · 4 years

Text

7. SNEAKING SOMEONE OUT | SHINSOU HITOSHI

1K CELEBRATION MASTERLIST

SUMMARY: Shinsou finds himself craving chicken nuggets, and Y/N’s presence, at 2AM. So naturally, he comes over and helps her sneak out so that they can get food and hang out, much to Y/N’s dismay.

WORD COUNT: 2K

WARNINGS: crackfic turned sad boy hours but also fluff

A/N: this got deep and is basically pure self indulgence of my emotions

Y/N really should’ve expected this. She really should have.

Shinsou had a tendency to simply, not sleep, he was a certified insomniac. No matter how many solutions Y/N had offered him, none of them worked. Which is why Y/N tended to wake up to about 75 messages from Shinsou each morning, varying from memes, to tik toks, to philisophical rambles, to the stupidest questions he’d ever asked her.

He’d never texted her this much though, her phone nearly falling off the nightstand because of how much it was vibrating whilst on silent, rousing her from sleep. Y/N groaned into her pillow, hand extending to her right in search of her phone as she patted around the nightstand with no success. Inhaling deeply, Y/N rolled onto her back, bring her hands up to rub her eyes before stretching her arms upward as she sat up in bed and turned to her side. Y/N picked up her phone, squinting at the ridiculously bright light that met her eyes as she read the time.

2:03AM

Y/N couldn’t help but smile at the sight of her lock screen, a picture of her and Shinsou, taken at a school festival they’d had. It had taken a lot of convincing to get him to agree to a photo, much to Y/N’s dismay, but he relented eventually. The memory only served as a reminded of the messages displayed on her screen, a lot of messages, most of which were from Shinsou. But Y/N only found herself looking at the most recent ones.

shinsou <3 y/n wake up

y/n

y/n get up

im coming over now, and no you don’t have a choice in this matter

you better be awake by the time i get there or i will egg your window

we are going to get food by the way [1:34AM]

shinsou <3 hey loser im here

climb out your window

are you even awake

y/n i swear [2:01AM]

In a perfect world, Shinsou would’ve been joking, and Y/N would’ve been able to go back to bed and text him again in the morning about a weird video she saw online. However this was Shinsou and the world was far from perfect. Meaning the boy was definitely parked outside her house. Y/N moved to slip out of bed and peer outside her window, only to see Shinsou was already standing on the grass of her front yard, fingers typing furiously against his phone as Y/N felt her phone vibrate in her hand once more.

She found herself glaring as she threw the phone onto the bed to free both her hands and open the window. Pushing the window up, Y/N bent down slightly to put the upper half of her body outside as she called out to Shinsou, “what the hell?”

The boy looks up almost instantly, and Y/N can practically see the panic in his eyes, though it fades when he realizes it was her who spoke, shoving his phone back into his pocket. “Are you ready?” He calls back in a hushed whisper, eyes narrowing as he scans the surrounding area.

“Shinsou—” Y/N brings a hand to her temple as she exhales deeply, “we are not going out to eat, it two in the morning!” She cried out, one hand making vivid gestures in an attempt to get her point across, while the other supported her weight on her slanted roof.

He rolled his eyes in response, “there’s a reason that some fast food restaurants are open all day long. This is the reason, now let’s go.” Shinsou has that same apathetic tone he uses everyday, as though this is something completely normal that they do everyday.

“I am not sneaking out of my house so that you can get some— some chicken nuggets!”

Shinsou falters, face falling temporarily as he presses his lips together, “if you really don’t want to Y/N, you don’t have to.” His voice is soft enough that she can barely hear him because of the distance between them, but she does. Y/N can tell he means it, this isn’t an attempt to guilt her into going with him, and yet she can’t help but feel horrible for not going along with it.

Which is why Y/N was now dressed in sweatpants and a tank top, trying her hardest not to fall off her roof as Shinsou called out to her, “Y/N. Don’t make me use my quirk—”

“You wouldn’t dare.” They both knew he’d never use his quirk on her, he had far too much respect for her. And he’d explicitly told her, more accurately, promised her during one of their rare late night talks, that he’d never try.

He doesn’t reply, simply glaring at her as he comes up from under the edge of the roof, where Y/N had been sitting for the past few minutes, in fear of jumping off. “Just jump.”

“No.” She practically hissed, scowling as she peered over the side of the roof once more, viewing the drop, which wasn’t that far. Shinsou also stood below, meeting her glare with his own annoyed stare.

“Y/N, come on.”

“You should be grateful I am even accompanying you, i could easily just go back to the safety of my room and have a simple and quiet night but you insisted—”

“I’ll buy you whatever you want, just come on.”

Looking back on it, Y/N really didn’t think this was worth it. Her parents would very likely end her life should they discover her... late night escapades alongside Shinsou, but at the same time, this was odd behavior for him. Texts in the middle of the night were normal, yes, but randomly deciding to come over because he wants food at 2AM? Weird.

But Y/N couldn’t deny the that this was fun. Driving down practically empty roads, phone plugged into the aux so she could play whatever music she wanted— though Shinsou judged every song she played rather brutally. The windows were rolled down all the way and Y/N had never felt more refreshed as she sat beside Shinsou in the passenger seat of his car, watching as he ordered their food through the drive through.

A comfortable silence fell between them as he paid and thanked the cashier at the window, retrieving their food and wordlessly handing it to Y/N before driving to the parking lot of the establishment. She found herself taking sips of her milkshake and absentmindedly eating fries.

Yet Y/N couldn’t help but feel concerned as she looked over at the boy, hand on the wheel as he quietly hummed along to the playlist they shared. Drives with Shinsou weren’t rare, seeing as he drove Y/N to school practically daily, especially since he didn’t trust her driving skills.

Her brows furrow as she leans back in her seat, folding her arms before speaking, “are you okay, Hitoshi?” Y/N looks away from him, “answer honestly.”

She can feel his eyes land on her when she finished speaking, Y/N can’t help that she floods with anxiety as she awaits his answer, only to look to Shinsou to see a small smile on his face as he parks in the parking lot of the brightly lit restaurant. “Yeah. I’m good actually.” Y/N tilts her head at his words, awaiting for him to continue, he seems to consider what he says next carefully, “are you glad you came here, with me?”

Though Y/N feared the repercussions should they get caught, she already knew her answer, “yes. I’m happy to be here.” Y/N fidgets with her fingers as she inhales deeply, eyes drifting to her window, “I think— I think I would’ve regretted it more, if I hadn’t come with you actually. And I don’t want to regret anything.” She bites her lip anxiously, picking at her fingernails, “I wish I was more adventurous sometimes, I guess?”

Y/N couldn’t explain the feeling well, the one that made her wonder if she was missing out on certain parts of life, parts that she might’ve experienced if she had been just a bit more bold. In the moment, yeah, it seemed horrifying, but Y/N couldn’t help but wonder afterwards if she should’ve said yes. She couldn’t help but feel regretful as she wondered what could’ve been.

Sitting there with Shinsou made her feel like a hypocrite though, seeing as she’d had feeling for the boy for longer than she cared to admit, and would likely regret never telling him. Though Y/N was fairly sure she would regret it more if she did tell him and he rejected her, so hiding her feelings was far more ideal. But the small part of her that wanted to tell him, to just come forward with her feelings, regardless of the outcome.

Y/N tries to push away these thoughts, bringing her attention back to the moment at hand as Shinsou rests his head against the seat, fingers tapping at the wheel of the parked vehicle, “I get it.” Comes his reply, and he seems to be rather deep in thought as he sits there, hand reaching into his bag for some fries.

Y/N feels compelled to speak, to tell him that he does make her happy, because she can tell that a small part of him doesn’t believe her, so when she opens her mouth the words just begin to fall out. “You make me happy, you know.” Y/N doesn’t know how else to explain it, and she doesn’t see his eyes widen a fraction as he shifts in his seat to look at her, “I never would’ve done something like this before I met you. But...” Y/N turns to meet his eyes, offering him a smile, “well, I’m really glad I met you Hitoshi. You make me feel like I’m living—”

“And there’s a difference between living and just being alive, you know?”

Y/N can’t help the way her cheeks warm, feeling as though she overshared as she watches Shinsou nod slowly, “I get it.” He repeats, brows drawing together, he opens his mouth just to close it immediately after.

“What?”

Shinsou straightens at her words, clearing his throat as he brings a hand to the back of his neck, “I don’t... I don’t want to regret anything either.” His lips press together in a tight lipped smile as he looks up at the roof of the car for a moment, cursing quietly before returning his gaze to Y/N.

Their third year would be starting soon, and Shinsou had considered this for a while. No matter how close he and Y/N were now, he couldn’t help but wonder where they’d be after graduating from UA. Both of them would be heading out in the world to become heroes, something that would likely take them in two very different directions. Maybe they’d never speak again after graduation, or maybe their friendship would fade, but Shinsou had a feeling his feelings never would. Y/N’s words just served as a reminder of just how finite their time together was.

Shinsou didn’t know when he fell for her, maybe it was right now, watching her take a sip of her milkshake as she watched him curiously, flustered under his piercing gaze. Maybe it was that time in class when she’d let him fall asleep just to wake him at the end and hand him notes she’d taken just for him, or maybe it was when she hugged him for the first time because he’d gotten in the hero course. He decided that didn’t matter, because he did know that Y/N L/N wasn’t going to be one of his regrets.

"I’m in love with you.”

A/N: this is unedited and the product of my brain at 1AM so i sincerely hope its not bad jkashdjkashdkjh

TAGLISTS:

BNHA: @shawkneecaps @beifongsss

#azucanela 1k #shinsou x reader #shinso x reader #shinso x you #shinsou x you #shinsou hitoshi x you #shinsou hitoshi x reader #shinso hitoshi x you #shinso hitoshi x reader #hitoshi x reader #hitoshi x you #hitoshi shinsou x reader #hitoshi shinso x reader #hitoshi shinso x you #hitoshi shinsou x you

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lunarose-moonflower · 3 years

Text

So I actually wrote something instead of doing a pretty picture this time. It's a fairy bench trio AU that is actually co-authored in my opinion by @im-a-star-boy I came up the idea for the AU but they helped me with like all of the planning and story beats and ideas so in my opinion he's the co-author and if he wants to he can write for this au as well! We made this au together and I want to acknowledge that because he deserves credit. I'm stalling because I'm insecure about my writing but here you go it's my first time writing something in a long time and it's a little out of my comfort zone some things may be OOC because I've never written for these guys before

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Ranboo was tired so very tired. he has been separated from his nymph for days, was it days? it might have been weeks possibly even months he couldn't tell anymore. he was hungry not finding any healthy flowers or fresh fruit that he could feed from which means he couldn't produce his dust as efficiently, the fairy dust that kept him alive. not to mention it was going to rain soon, he was a fairy with a rare allergy of sorts water burned like it was acid that's why he had been rejected by so many colonies in the past before being found by his kind-hearted but Stern nymph. unfortunately luck was not on his side and the rain began to fall burning his skin through his leaf made clothing. he tried his best to find shelter but he was so hungry and cold and burnt so the minute he found at least a little bit of cover from the rain he passed out of exhaustion.

meanwhile two boys are running through the forest trying to get back home, they had originally been messing around at the creek but as soon as the rain started to fall they knew they needed to get back. the shorter one with brown hair, Tubbo, running rather fast to escape the rain his taller blonde haired friend / brother maybe?? Tommy, wasn't far behind an arm over his head to protect himself from the rain. eventually when they got to a thicker part of the forest they slowed down, catching their breath as the thick trees shielded them mostly from the rain. Tubbo looked around for any cool rocks because everyone does that but found something interesting. "Hey toms! I found a little person!"he shouted to his friend as if that was a normal thing to say. "what the fuck are you on about?"said the taller blonde very used to his friend's habits at this point. "there's a little person! he's got wings and stuff"said the brunette picking something up from the ground before showing it to the taller. Tommy was very surprised when he found out his friend was telling the truth is that right there in Tubbo's hands was a tiny person only about 6 inches tall, his hair was black and white it looks like it should be split down the middle but it was messy so the colors mixed, he had a long tail that was almost as tall as him, it was long black and rather thin other than the tuft of black and white fluff at the end of it. he was wearing what looks like a little suit but it was made of leaves so it was rather torn up and ragged, on his skin one half of his face seemed darker than the other the lighter parts look like old scarring and it could be seen all throughout his body. he had dragonfly wings that had an iridescent heat to them mostly red and green all four of his eyes were closed and all four of his arms were wrapped around himself. "holy shit that looks like a little fairy!"exclaimed the blonde as he stared at the little creature and his friends hand "let's keep him! I mean he obviously needs a home" Tubbo was already tucking the little guy into his pocket as if it was a normal thing to find in the forest and bring home "we would have to hide it from everyone else"said Tommy still looking at the unconscious fairy "oh come on Wilbur won't notice Phil is too busy and tech is out on a trip! it's the perfect time to bring the little guy home!"he said quickly making his way to the house Tommy following behind both boys already talking about all the exciting adventures housing a fairy could lead to.

when Ranboo woke up he wasn't cold or burning. he was actually rather warm and lying on top of something soft, softer than the forest bed could ever be. he opened all four of his eyes to look around and he was in a very unfamiliar environment. he immediately set up and tried to flap his wings but they were waterlogged and would take a while to dry, needless to say he was very very scared. "it's awake!"shouted a large voice the fairy had never heard a voice that loud before and it caused him to cover those elf like ears of his. "stop shouting you're going to scare it"suddenly in front of Ranboo there was a big person with messy brown hair looking at him as if he were some kind of insect. "hey little guy!" not only was the fea absolutely terrified but he was also confused at being called little, the average fairy was 3 inches tall he was 6 inches tall, he had never in his life been called 'little'. "stay away from me!"the little creature immediately called out backing up as far away from the big creature as possible "whoa it just made noise" with all the brunette said and then Ranboo realized that they probably couldn't understand his language, it was a language of sounds and not words, only other fea could really understand it. "I think we scared it" said Tubbo looking at the fairy who was now shaking with something that wasn't cold "of course it's scared! it doesn't know us and we're like a thousand times its size"Tommy pointed out and he had a point. "it looks hungry we should feed it something" said the brunette gently using his pinky finger to ruffle the fairy's hair causing the little creature to jerk back "what does it eat? do we just like give it a piece of meat or something I mean it has pretty sharp teeth"upon hearing that Ranboo immediately shook his head no very quickly, Forest fairies like him could not digest meat at all. "you don't eat meat little guy?"questioned the brunette and got another shake of a head as an answer. "well what do you eat" Ranboo began looking around the room for any pictures of fruit or flowers, luckily he found a packet of flower seeds and held it up pointing at the flowers on the front, before looking to the window and pointing at the fruit trees outside. "you eat flowers and fruit?"he nodded "okay so Tommy and I are going to go raid the garden then you stay put"with that both of the humans left the room the fairy still didn't trust them but the idea of food was too good to pass up he was hungry really really hungry. didn't take the boys too long to return with some blueberries and freshly picked tulips setting them down on the desk "I can't believe we had to pick my perfect tulips for this"the blonde pouted "what we were just supposed to let him starve?" Tubbo retorted as he watched the fairy carefully as he picked up one of the blueberries, which was actually pretty big for him, and took a bite clearly happy and ate the thing quickly before going over to the flowers. the humans were expecting him to eat the petals or leaves or something but no he went for the nectar, flower nectar helps fairies produce fairy dust not to mention it makes fairies excellent pollinators. since the flowers have been severed they aren't producing any more nectar but they're still the leftover from when they were producing it, it was wonderful and sweet like any well taken care of flower's nectar should be. both of the humans were looking at the fairy with wonderment and somehow Ranboo felt like he could stay here, at least for a little while.

#ranboo #tommyinnit #tubbo underscore #mcyt #bench trio fairy au #oh my gosh I'm so afraid that this is bad

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peaches-writes · 4 years

Text

bibingka

skz of christmas day 6: rice cakes with changbin

member: changbin wc: 1.9k genre: fluff, comedy, slight idiots to lovers au, neighbour au, this is actually a binsung fic jk warning: explicit language note: obligatory ben&ben christmas post duh + connects to the jisung entry + issa bit rushed just bc ive been busy da whole week im so sorry hnnnnnnng

day 3

Even with Changbin’s deadliest glare almost burning holes on his face and a stomach cramp threatening to explode on his lower half, Jisung wouldn’t stop laughing. In fact, other passersby are starting to momentarily look their way because of his cackles echoing as loud as the church bells tolling for the next mass.

“I fucking hate you.” The boy being ridiculed rolls his eyes and punches the younger boy on the arm. “Shut up.”

“I just—“ Jisung seemingly wipes away a tear in between his non-stop giggles, clutching his stomach again after as he slows his breathing down. “You’re such a—you’re such a wimp and it’s like the third year now!”

Changbin wants to correct him by saying that it’s only the second but ultimately decides against it to avoid feeding the mocking laughter. “I’m not! I was just trying to be respectful!”

“Seo Changbin, you’ve been neighbors with Y/N since who the fuck knows how long. If anything, not holding their hand during the Lord’s Prayer is actually rude and disrespectful.” Jisung scoffs. “Like look, I scored a date with my neighbor yesterday and they’re only here during the holidays. Where’s your progress?”

The last comment deepens Changbin’s glare and disapproving frown. “Well, what if—what if they didn’t want to? Not everyone likes holding non-family members’ hands during that prayer. And excuse you, you landed that date from stalking me.”

Jisung comically slaps his hand up to his temples this time, exhaling a very deep breath in amusement before shaking his head in disapproval. “Oh, Binnie, until when are you going to keep telling these things to yourself? Y/N literally had their hand up for you a while back! Just hold them for a minute!”

“Yeah, but—“

Before Changbin could fully refute, however, the two boys then see you pass by with your grandmother, a passing smile gracing your features as you wave at them politely with your free hand. “Good morning, you two!” You briefly greet before shifting your attention back to your grandmother again, your gaze lingering to Changbin for a second longer definitely not going unnoticed by a grinning Jisung.

“Good morning!” Changbin and Jisung return your sentiments, the latter then elbowing the older boy as soon as you turn away.

“I’m telling you,” Jisung whispers tauntingly after, leaning his face close to Changbin and placing a hand over his ear. “just hold Y/N’s hand. It’s not that hard.”

Taking one last look at you right before you’re whisked away to your grandmother’s friends, Changbin sighs and mumbles, “Oh no, Sung, you don’t know shit.”

day 5

Every time Changbin does so much as glance in Jisung’s general direction at the choir area in the middle of the service, the younger boy would wink suggestively or make the most comical kissy faces and it doesn’t help his case at all. Somewhere in the back of Changbin’s head, he hesitantly thanks whatever driving force there is in this universe that you’re mostly occupied with looking after your grandmother and passing the time with mindless gestures to notice.

“Just do it, man!” Jisung mouths to Changbin for what already seems to be the eighth time since the mass started, balancing his guitar on his lap to clasp his hands right in front of his face. “I got you!”

Changbin rolls his eyes before glancing over to you standing right next to him. To make things worse, the topic of holding your hand makes his attention wander over to the said body part that taps a noiseless beat on the pew in fromt of you. On your other side, your grandmother seems to have fallen asleep right after you made her sit down because of her weak knees.

Now would be the time, dumbass, The voice in Changbin’s head points out in a way that awfully resembles Jisung. Do it!

But when the familiar tune starts playing and your gentle tapping stops, Changbin’s quickly overcome with nervousness again.

The poor boy’s lifted knuckles knock against yours but fails to take your hand once more.

“Even Jesus can’t help this dude now.” Jisung sighs from across the church as he watches the helpless scene unfold. “Ah, whatever.”

day 8

“Dude, come on it’s been eight days. Stop staring the rice cake down, it’s going to burn up!” Jisung scolds, clutching Changbin by his nearest bicep and pulling him away from the rice cake stall. “Come on, let’s re-group somewhere else!”

“Re-group?” Changbin furrows his brows, letting himself get dragged to a nearby corner right underneath the outdoor display grotto anyway. “What for?”

Jisung, skidding to a halt once he’s reached a spot far away from the usual crowd of church-goers, rolls his eyes and faces Changbin belatedly as he answers, “Because you’ve been looking like a whole dumbass at church for the third year in a row now and I swear even the priest is starting to get frustrated!”

“No, I don’t!”

“Yes, you do!”

Changbin squints his eyes in annoyance now and crosses his arms in front of his chest, visibly unamused at the younger boy’s antics. “I’m...a respectful person.”

“You’re a coward.” Jisung argues back bluntly with a draamatic and disapproving shake of his head, taking ahold of Changbin’s two hands after and holding them up in between them. “Just hold their hand like this, chant the Lord’s prayer, and be done with it! We’re all friends, it’s cool!”

Changbin scoffs, wriggling his fingers out of Jisung’s death grip only to get caught immediately. “You don’t understand, dude.” He sighs in exasperation, frowning even more in annoyance when Jisung makes a judging face at him with pursed lips. “It’s Y/N.”

“Exactly, it’s just Y/N.” Jisung retorts in a gradually patronizing tone, making sure to drag out his words. “It’s not like you’re obligated to get married if you hold their hand! Heck, even the kids who sit two rows behind you are braver and those two are just making gang signs at each other during Mass.”

“I—“

And, as if it’s the way of the universe siding wholeheartedly with Jisung, Changbin hears you stifle a giggle with your hand from behind him. When the flustered boy turns around, he sees you and your grandma approaching with candles to offer to the grotto’s statues.

“Shit.” Changbin curses under his breath, quickly hiding it with a greeting to you and your grandmother. “Good morning, Mrs. Y/L/N! Hi, Y/N!”

“Hi, grandma! Hi, H/N!” Jisung waves with his hands still intertwined with Changbin’s, making the latter blush even more as he quickly lets go. “Ooh, scented candles! Are you guys out here to pray for wishes?”

You nod with a hum, pursing your lips quickly at seeing Changbin pretend to wipe his hands down the sides of his jeans. “Yeah, just the usual year-ender stuff.” You explain, helping your grandma up to the stone steps leading to the religious status. Glancing over the two as your grandmother goes ahead on her own, you then ask, “Were you guys in the middle of...something?”

“W-What? N-No, no! We were just...” Mentally, Changbin’s cognition is already shutting down under your genuinely curious gaze. It doesn’t help that you’re a step above him and Jisung too, giving you a rare opportunity to tower over them. “Jisung was just being weird!”

“No, I wasn’t!”

“Dude, you just held my hand out of nowhere.”

“Yeah, to tell you that—mmfffff!” Changbin interrupte Jisung midway by clamping his mouth shut and making you chuckle.

“Okay, if you say so...” You finally let out a laugh with ease at seeing their antics, waving goodbye once more and taking another step upwards again. “I’ll just see you two around later! Grandma and I still need to say some prayers for our relatives.”

“Sure. See you around, Y/N.” Changbin smiles up at you, returning your wave with his free hand.

Behind his other hand, Jisung tries his best at yelling out to you, “Pray for Changbin, please! For everyone’s sake!”

day 9

The first thing Jisung notices—well, the second thing since he noticed your rather sleepy expression prior—is how you walk in and sit down next to Changbin at your usual pew without your grandmother. Changbin, on the other hand, notices rather belatedly when he notices you only when you’re already seated.

“Where’s grandma?” He asks, whipping his head around everywhere for your grandmother’s familiar grey hair and white church veil. “Is she okay?”

“She just stayed up too late for a Christmas party last night so I told her I’ll go to mass for her while she rests.” You nod reassuringly, only at such point fully comprehending the unfamiliar atmosphere of only the two of you sitting on your usual place. “She’ll be around again tomorrow but, you know, as far as the legend goes, she won’t be able to make a wish on Christmas Eve.”

Changbin chuckles at this, leaning back in his seat more comfortably now as you giggle along. “You still believe in that? We all know that parents only say that so we wouldn’t sleep at Mass when we were kids.”

When the boy glances over to you, he sees you nod in between laughs. “Yeah but don’t you think it’s something nice to think about and believe in? Don’t you make wishes after the ninth Mass anymore?”

“It depends.” He shrugs.

“Then why do you still go, hm? Your parents don’t even come around as often.”

To see you, Changbin’s mind immediately drifts off but he bites his tongue back quickly before he could accidentally blurt it out. “I just like hearing the choir sing in the morning.”

“I doubt that.” You chuckle with a shake of your head, just as the choir begins to sing the opening song. “Speaking of which...”

Changbin whips his head around in the same direction you avert your gaze to, finding the Mass already starting. “Oh, it’s starting.” He muses out loud, following the crowd and standing up. When he turns to you again, however, you’re still seated. “Aren’t you standing up?”

“Will you help me up?” You ask rather teasingly, holding your hand up to him.

“What?” His eyes widen, blinking twice slowly until he’s sure that your hands not moving back down to your side.

“Changbin, just hold my damn hand.” You hiss under the loud music, waving your hand in the air until he finally and reluctantly takes it and pulls you up. “There. Wasn’t so hard, was it?”

Changbin is quick to blush under the bright lights around you, fumbling around his words and even more when you don’t let go of his hand. “I—y-ya, you’ve known all this time?”

In response, you simply shrug as you bring your hands down in between the two of you. “Maybe? Why do you think I’ve been making grandma sit here and not at the front as usual?” You explain sheepishly. “I was hoping, since we know each other and everything anyway, you’d...hold my hand at prayer. It’s silly, I know.”

“So you—”

“I like you, Changbin.” You beat him right to it, clearing your throat immediately to ease the atmosphere. “I just...hold my hand at prayer, will you? If it isn’t weird or anything.”

“S-Sure.” He awkwardly nods, looking away to hide an embarrassed smile. “I-I like you too.”

Across the room, Jisung almost jumps up in his seat while playing the guitar and elbows his significant other rather harshly as they play the piano. “Ya, dude, it’s happened! Look!”

The pianist hisses in pain at Jisung’s elbow on their sides before mustering up a chuckle once they’ve regained composure. “That’s good to see. Now, how many days will it take for him to buy the rice cake?”

december 22 (lee minho)

skz of christmas (masterlist)

m.list

@skzwriternet

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yn-dreamlife · 4 years

Text

Our Princess

Ok so like I don't know if ya’ll have seen the interview or whe=atever where BTS dresses up as Princes and then proceed to like kiss each other on the cheek and stuff but imagine like you're there and they dress you up as a princess and like.... yeah. (Heres the interview if you haven't seen it)

BTS x reader (OT7 x reader)

Genre: fluff

Warnings: fluff, low-key smut/lemon, mentions of smut, cuteness, nicknames, eventual shy reader use of the word daddy/daddies (like once)

Images not mine just found them on the internet but I did make the collage.

As I sneak into the back of the building I have to stifle a gleeful giggle at the sound of my boyfriends laughter. I can tell at this moment its Namjoon and Taehyng laughing and my heart swells at the thought of them.

I truly am blessed to have such seven amazing boyfriends. And im blessed to have a friend who's willing to sneak me into this interview, of course I could have just told them the truth and come with them but this would be better.

I just got back from my world tour and while most of it they where with me the last month (give or take) they had to return home. They called me to ask when I would be home and when I heard they where having an interview at the place my friend works I quickly lied so I could surprise them.

They’ve done it to me tons of times before, it’s only fair I get to do the same. And hey if this happens to be how we officially tell the fans we’re together then I’m okay with that. Sadly im not actually sure what this interview is and y/f/n wouldn't tell me.

“y/f/n!” I groan as she drags me away from where my feet were already carrying me.

“Sorry y/n/n but I gotta get you in the proper attire first.” She says winking.

I look at her suspiciously “you’re not sending me out in lingerie or some shit right?” She sputters before quickly yelling at me in a hushed whisper how they don't do that here and I couldn't help but chuckle, “just checking.”

She rolls her eyes pushing me into a room and locking the door behind us, sometimes the boys need to leave an interview during break just to be alone and it would ruin the surprise of me being here if one barged in.

As I finally look around I gape at the big ball gown right in the center. “Woah! What lucky duck gets to where that?!” I gasp admiring the beautiful dark blue dress.

“You” She states like its a simple fact like humans need to breathe.

“M-me- What?!” I look at her dumb founded and she just smiles.

“Mmmhmmm!” She hum happily pulling it off the mannequin. I waste no time undressing and quickly putting the dress on before she changes her mind or something.

I feel giddy as the dress slides on my body. “y-y/f/n” I stutter out staring at myself in the mirror as she quickly applies some makeup and puts my hair up in an elegant updo.

“Hmm?” she hums.

“I look-” You pause truly speechless.

“Absolutely amazing?” You nod silently, “of course you do! With me as your stylist where could you go wrong?!” She chirps happily as she looks at her watch.

“Are we to late? Did this take to long?!” I ask worried trying to ignore my growing disappointment.

“What?! No! Just trying to see if they’re all dressed and ready. You’re going to be the last one to go as our surprise guest.... and it looks like its time!” She says as her phone chimes.

I stand up hands sweaty so I wipe them on a towel. “Wont they see me as I enter?”

She shakes her head, “no they’ll be turned around and blindfolded incase someone tries to peak.” She says winking, “oh and you will be too!”

“What?!” I exclaim shocked.

“Yep... haha kinda for the whole beginning half.” she says scratching the back of her neck.

“W-wha -why?!” I asked in a hush voice as she leads me out of the room.

“You’ll see.” She whispers placing a silky blindfold carefully on my face, not tight enough to ruin my makeup. I sigh as we continue walking.

“Alright boys! Are you guys excited?!” y/f/n asks excitedly. she whispers for you to sit back and you do so carefully.

“Yes!” Jungkook says excitedly. “I want to see this mysterious beautiful princess!” I can hear the smile in his voice and ignore the slight ache. ‘He’s doin it for the fans, they dint know about us yet.’ I remind myself.

“May I ask a question?” I hear Namjoon ask.

“Of course!” y/f/n says.

“How old is this princess?” He asks I assume I’m supposed to answer but a hand is slapped over my mouth before I can do so.

“She’s around all of your age!” she says quickly as Namjoon hums thoughtfully. You nod remebering they don't know its you yet.

“Can I please please please take the blindfold off now?!” I hear Hoseok asks and I almost ‘aww’ at him but I refrain.

“No.” y/f/n, states simply. “-First” she says cutting of there groans of frustration. “I want you to guess who it is.” She says, “Or who you hope for it to be.”

“Papa Mochi!” I hear Jimin cheer happily and I almost bust out laughing but I quickly cover my mouth.

“That’s a guy!” y/f/n says exasperated like she's heard this all day.

“fine!” he groans, “ummm Kumiko!” Jimin says.

“Is that just a random person?” She asks and when I don't hear anything but a sigh from her I assume he just shrugged. I shake my head smiling as I listen to a bunch of random names leave there lips.

“Kaede” I hear Namjoon next.

“Iva” Jungkook says

“Koge” Jin spoke next.

Now it was Hobis turn “Rai”

Taehyng waited a second before also replying, “Risako”

“Ishi” Yoongi speaks calmly.

“What do you all just have a random store of names in your head?!” Y/f/n asks exasperated. I can hear the smirk in her voice when she speaks next, “Surprised none you said your best friends name.”

“She’s still on tour.” Tae says rather roughly.

“Calm,” Namjoon whispers but I still caught it, ‘just how close to them am I?’ I wonder reaching my hand out only to meet the fabric of someones shirt.

“Wah!” He exclaims and I recognize it as Taehyung. ‘So I’m very close.’ I think to myself. “Uh thanks...” he mutters moving his shoulder away. ‘cute.’ I think.

“Jeez sore subject haha sorry folks,” she pauses and clears her throat before continuing. “Anywho go ahead and take off the blindfolds!” She says and as I go to reach for my own a hand on my wrists stops me.

“Not you m-lady.” She says in a fake accent. I hit her hand away pouting.

‘Lame.’ I think to myself bitterly.

“If she can't see us why is it fair we get to see her?” Yoongi questioned. ‘Thank you!’ I thought exasperated. She groans.

“ugh! fine! Party pooper, you can keep your mask on too!” She chirps and my shoulders sag, ‘so much for that.’

“Fine” he says and I can hear him sit back down. I hear the others collectively gasp as I assume they remove there masks.

“What? Who is it?” Namjoon speaks this time, ‘so he kept his blindfold on too.’

“You two are gonna wanna see this!” I hear Jungkook say and I can hear the grin in his voice. It makes me smile and I wave shyly biting my lip.

“Y-Y/n?!” I hear them both exclaim. My grin widens.

“Y/f/n get this damn blindfold off me I want to see my bo-” I cut myself off, “My boys!” I say in a rush. She groans

“Okay but you'll have to wear it again for one of our games.” She states matter-o-factly. I Quickly rip it off and my smile gets impossibly larger as I see them all standing there.

“Look at all of you!” I say grinning as I stare at all of them in there prince outfits. A noticeable warmth spreading to my cheeks, ‘shit they look really good.’

Before I can think more on how amazing they look I am quickly picked up and spun around by Namjoon. I laugh gleefully as he does so, me and him spent the least amount of time together on FaceTime over the past few weeks sadly, both busy at the wrong times. But that doesn't mean we didnt catch each other eventually.

“Why didnt you tell us you where coming?” Jimin asks swiping in as soon as joon set me down to hug me and the rest of the boys followed.

“To surprise you of course!” I say grabbing Yoongis cold hand as he pulls away.

“Well it worked!” kook exclaimed.

“Yeah this is almost as good as papa mocha right jimin-ah?” Hobbi says nudging him.

“Hey don't be like that!” He says as he stares at me helplessly. I laugh at this.

“No, no I think chim would have preferred Papa Mocha right Jin?” I say looking at the handsome man.

He smirks, “I dunno... maybe” I laugh bending over slightly as I do so missing the way all there yes where trained on me.

“Alrght alright, enough of the gooey best-friend stuff!” y/f/n says. “We’re gonna take a break to give you seven time to prepare and poor y/n here time to enjoy herself before our next game.” she says about to walk away.

“Wait! Whats the next game?!” I ask.

“You’ll see.” As the cameras are turned off we are all sent away, the boys walk with my to ‘my room’ but we all know cameras where there to catch what would be said and whatnot so we stopped in the middle of both and I turned to all of them smiling widely.

“You should have told us!” Taehyng grumbles as he clings onto you from behind nuzzling his head into your neck.

“If I did that I wouldn't have been able to see you get all angry at the thought of me being away any longer.” I said bopping his nose and his own cheeks reddened.

“Oh yeah, guess you heard that huh?” I make a mhm sound and he hides further in my neck as I giggle.

“So kookie was I pretty enough to be worth it? Was I a good enough mysetery beauty princess?” I ask, he bends down cupping my cheek, “The only one who fits the bill,” he whispers placing a kiss on my lips.

“Hey knock it off!” I say as a blush creeps its way onto my cheeks. They all laugh at that.

We go to our own rooms and I sit waiting impatiently. Ten or so minutes later y/f/n comes back and pulls me into the room again and sits me back in the chair.

“Okay so our next game is called... drumroll please!” All the boys smack there hands on there thighs, “Blush-rush!” She declares.

“What?! Oh no!” I say exasperated “grrr curse you y/f/n!” I say shaking my fist at her as the boys laugh.

“Yeah yeah thats the witches job not yours m-lady.” I scoff. “Ok! theres two rounds! One action round and one verbal round! y/n sets the boundaries, and you boys follow them but otherwise your good. Your goal? Make y/n blush as long and as deeply as possible.” She says looking to you to set the rules.

“Ok obviously you boys know the no-no squares.” You say simply and they all chuckle nodding. “Okay, uhhhh I guess..Oh! No yelling in my ear!” You glare at Jungkook then remembering when you where still best friends and he screamed in your ear to wake you up, while acting out how he would wake his future girlfriend.

He holds his hand up defensively and I shake my head at him smiling. “I don't know! You guys know me, so you know whats to far!” I said shrugging. They all nodded smiling, they know old boundaries of when we where trying to hide it from the fans are off the table, we’ve seen the theories and there isn't any negativity towards them so we figured why not.

If it comes out it comes out, if not then thats okay to. We’re happy ether way, it was a group decision.

“Alrighty then lets get going!” She says smiling. “Boys pick which one you do first-” she gets cut off by an enthusiastic Namjoon.

“Words!” He says quickly and all the boys quickly nod in agreement. I can't help but laugh.

“Alrighty then y/n back on with the blindfold.” I groan but put it on anyways.

it’s a long moment of silence before I hear anything at all, quickly thoughts of being alone flood into my mind but are quickly washed away by someones breathe hot on my ear.

“Baby girl,” Instantly I recognize Jin, “you should have told us you where coming, we could have welcomed you home properly.” my eyes widen beneath my mask knowing full well what usually happens when we reunite.

I clear my throat trying to avoid the blush on my cheeks. “Don't try to hide it princess,” Namjoon says his voice deep and on my other side, I can feel the warmth from the two bodies next to me. “You always react so well, such a beautiful blush.”

This time I can't stop my cheeks from turning pink. “Little one~” It’s Jungkook, completely different from the excited adorable one who just minutes ago was excited to see a mysterious princess “doing so good, you’ve barely blushed so far.” He purrs but then chuckles deeply “Or you weren't blushing.” I groan slightly as I shift in my seat.

‘Damnit only three of them have-’ “Hello Kitten,” ‘Yoongi, shit’. “Look at you, don't you look so pretty?” He says and I know if he could he would run his hands threw my hair right now.

“Hello my little flower,” I hear another voice right next to my ear, ‘hello hobi’ I chuckle. “Something funny? Or you just like the way we’re making you feel?” I don't answer and he just chuckles at that.

“Hello my little angel~” Jimin practically purrs into my ear just like Yoongi. “I love your dress, it would look better on my bedroom floor though, don't you think?” I try to shake off his words but of course the blush continues to grow.

I know who has to be coming next and I’m not surprised when I hear his deep voice, “Hi baby, are you happy to be surrounded by your daddies?” He whispers in my ear and by now the blush has moved down my necks and up to my ears.

“Yes how are-” Jin gets cut off by y/f/n.

“Alright alright!” She cuts in, “jeez guys I said make her blush, not kill her... you seven jeesh.” She pulls the blindfold off and I look up to see all seven of them around me smirks on there faces.

‘uh-oh’ I look down not able to stare at them any longer, its to much I’m already warm enough. I didnt think they would be so.... suggestive.

They chuckle as they see my cheeks warming up again. “I have to go cool off in the bathroom!” I say quickly standing up and moving to the hallway. I lean against a wall breathing deeply.

“Damn you.” I sigh as I cover my face, even the after thought makes me blush.

“y/n?” I hear y/f/n, I look up at her smiling softly. “We can't make it a silent part, no one would no what they said and we all sign privacy policy contracts.” She said seriously.

“Oh it’s fine I just was shocked really,” I huff out a laugh, “but lets make it silent, I want to see what our fans come up with.” She grins nodding.

I go back out smiling reassuringly at the boys who all relax visibly. I sit back in the seat preparing myself for the next round. I breathe deeply as y/f/n gives the all clear as I watch Hobi approach.

Truth be told I don't know what I was expecting but I wasn't expecting him to just sand in-front of me forcing eye contact, thats for sure. So when it got to be to much I quickly looked away, and thats how I knew I fell into the trap. His finger making its way under my chin to turn my face towards him as he leans in closer.

And just when I think he might kiss me he pulls way smirking and I purse my lips to prevent a smile. So caught up in the moment I didn't realize Yoongi slipped behind me until I felt his hands move down my exposed shoulders only to go back up and move towards my collar bones. Goosebumps forming on my heated flesh.

He drew his hands away drawing them close to my throat. Jimin also comes up not hesitating to move his hand from my cheek to my neck where he hovers placing slight pressure from his finger tips almost like from one of the first few videos he took of my where instead of doing the face smooshy thing he went and choked me.

I know my face is beat red by now but there is still four more to go. I smile as Jungkook comes up to me, he wouldn't do anything to bad- I’m instantly proven wrong as his arms go around my middle, feather light touches moving over my sides the same way he does when I’m blindfolded and- ‘nope! don't go there then you WILL blush more!’ He smirks triumphantly knowing that was enough.

Taehyung is much more.... pg I suppose as he peppers my face with kisses repeatedly, but I realize that that he was just to prepare me for when Namjoon sneaks up behind my sticking his face in my neck. He is sure to hide what exactly he’s doing by his position but I feel his lips moving up and down my neck going to the spot by my ear.

Jin is the last, and what he does is simple but effective. He simply takes me off the chair and places me right onto his lap, and of course once again by now my face is beet red and they’ve surely beaten me since Hobi, but it was more fun to let them all go.

After that the interview was basically done we stayed for about an hour more before we all decided to drive home. I was in my car with just Jungkook and Namjoon while the others went in there car. Im sitting in the back in Namjoon’s lap, yes there was a perfectly good seat beside him but honestly neither one of them cared and I loved the contact.

We where stopped at a stop light the conversation at a comfortable silence when I spoke up. “You guys where very... open.” I say as I hide my face in Joons neck. he chuckles his hands moving up and down my back.

“What can we say, not seeing you for, what a month? Add onto that the opportunity to publicly do anything we want with you, well we have to do everything we can.” he said smirking squeezing my hips.

“Well not everything.” Jungkook says winking in the rear view mirror and once again I blush as a giggle leaves my lips.

It’s a week later when I go onto youtube and find the latest conspiracy video for the eight of us shockingly. It’s videos of us over the whole time we had been dating, proof of the long time relationship. I smile as I show the boys and we reminisce on the old videos.

I decide to post a picture on my instagram from the interview, one of the seven of them in there costumes and then one of me with each of them alone, namjoons was one of my favorites, not that I didnt love them all of them but one of the camera men caught the moment he picked me up and spun me around and I knew I would always treasure it. I put the caption, “My princes.”

Seeing this they put a picture on there official insta saying “Our princess.” No one truly asked any questions, they all just knew. The comments where filled with friends saying finally, and fans agreeing saying how happy they where. And we where too. We truly would have a happily ever after.

Hey guys my request an taglist’s are always open! Thank you!

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bffnct · 4 years

Text

kiss me

pairing park jisung x reader

genre fluff, best friends to lovers

word count 2k

you lay next to jisung, tucked comfortably in his side with his arm on the back of the sofa, the only source of light coming from the tv in the middle of the dorm’s living room. luckily, the dreamies were on vacation, the other boys gone to visit their families while jisung stayed back with you since you were also on break from school. there was a large bowl of popcorn nestled inbetween your crossed legs, filled up to the brim of the microwave popcorn the boys had laying around, an almost gross amount of butter and salt added to it (though you and jisung werent planning on eating their entire stash, but hey thats a problem for jaemin to handle).

your favorite movie, To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before was playing on the one and only netflix account you and the dreamies shared, and any chance you had to get your best friend of nearly 15 years to watch one of your cheesy teen-romance movies, you took it and ran with it.

the only problem was actually getting him to pay attention, the taller boy slumped in the sofa with his long legs taking up almost the whole floor space between the sofa and the coffee table, his other hand occupied with his phone, his eyes glued to the screen. you wrinkled your nose at him, disappointed in the fact that he had missed approximately 15 scenes of your soon-to-be-husband, Noah Centineo in all of his handsome glory, playing the character of Peter.

jisung didnt even notice you looking at him, too invested in his instagram feed, so when you threw a popcorn at his face, he flinched, dropping his phone in the process. he was about to pinch you when you raised your hand at him, bluffing that you were gonna hit him, which worked in making him back down almost every time. jisung sucked his teeth and crossed his arms, sulking as he looked at the screen for the 5th time.

‘watch the movie’ you whined, jutting out your bottom lip and making your eyes big, playfully smacking him on the chest, jisung deadpanning at your attempt to get him to actually watch the movie. ‘watch the movie’ he mimicked you in a tiny, whiney voice, scrunching his nose back at you, giving you a cheeky smile before returning his eyes back to the screen. you narrowed your eyes at him, getting comfortable in his side again. in the span of the two of you bickering, you had completely forgotten where you were in the movie, until the scene went dark, and Peter lays in the hot tub.

oh. you were at that part. the kissing part.

you could feel jisung shift uncomfortably next to you, his body tensing up slightly as Lara Jean climbed into the hot tub with Peter, tension in the air in both the scene and between you and jisung. you knew jisung cringed whenever a kissing scene came on, and when Peter grabbed Lara’s leg and threw it over his waist so that she was straddling him, the two of them leaning in to share a steamy kiss in the hot tub, jisung flailed his impossibly long limbs around, nearly knocking over your bowl of popcorn. seriously, this boy was a walking noodle. ‘this is so gross! god, why do you like watching these things?’ he huffed, covering his eyes with his large hands, dragging them down his face, glaring at you with a very unamused expression on his face. ‘what?! theyre in love!’ you clasped your hands together, an exaggerated sigh leaving your lips as you pretend-fainted onto jisungs shoulder, looking up at your best friend with sparkling eyes. ‘i wish i had a tall, handsome boyfriend to come sweep me off my feet and kiss me like that!’ you stuck your tongue out at jisung, sitting up and crossing your arms.

jisung felt himself stiffen at the sight of your pink tongue peeking through your soft lips, gulping as he rolled his eyes once again, trying to ignore his heart that was beating at a rapid pace. ‘you have a tall, handsome boy right next to you’ he mumbled, deadpanning you once again. did this boy ever smile? it was hard for you to take him seriously, so you just let out a nervous laugh. ‘ji, we’re best friends, almost like siblings. if we kissed i think that’d be like, lowkey incest’ you tried to hide the shakiness in your voice. you couldnt even hear the movie playing in the background anymore, the sound of your beating heart muffling out any sound in your ears.

if the lights werent off, surrounding the room in darkness except for the tv, you’re sure jisung would be able to see your beet-red cheeks. the eye contact the two of you held was almost uncomfortable, an invisible string seeming to bring the two of you closer. jisung took the bowl of popcorn from between your legs, putting it on the coffee table before he crawled over you, your back now pressed against the seats of the sofa, jisung caging over you, looking up at him with wide eyes.

‘ji, what are you-‘

‘kiss me’ he said, his expression rock solid, contrasting the way he was nearly sweating and the way his heart was about to explode out of his chest. you nearly choked on your own saliva, the bluntness of his words making your heart skip a beat. ‘what?! why me? why dont YOU kiss me?’ you complained, feeling your breath become labored at the change of the air between you.

‘why do i have to do everything?’ he mumbled, taking a deep breath of air through his nose before he leaned down and connected his lips with yours.

your eyes shot open in a split second, a small scream threatening to escape your mouth. you didnt actually expect him, your best friend and life-long crush, to KISS you. there was no way he was kissing you, right? his lips were way too soft and the way his hair brushed against your forehead was almost too perfect, this couldnt be real, you had to be dreaming. you closed your eyes, expecting this to all end by the next time you opened your eyes, hopefully waking up from this dream.

that was until he breathed out, the cool air fanning across your skin, his tongue lightly swiping over your bottom lip. that set off electric sparks to flow all the way through your body, stopping at your fingertips. you gasped, parting your lips, allowing jisung to playfully lick at your tongue before he pulled back, looking down at you with wide, blown out eyes, your eyes the same way.

‘was that too much? shit, im sorry i shouldnt have kissed you, fuck-‘

you cut him off, grabbing the back of his neck and crashing your lips back into his, this kiss slower, no tongue, just the feeling of your lips molding together. it was so intimate, almost too much to handle. you couldnt explain the feelings that were blooming from your heart. you were happy, shocked, and you wanted to cry all at the same time. jisung pulled away again, the two of you out of breath, hearts threatening to leap out of your chests.

you could feel the tears threatening to escape your eyes, and instead of letting jisung see you get all emotional over a kiss, you started to smack at his arms until he was no longer over you, leaning back to sit on his heels. ‘jisung! why did you kiss me?!’ you yelled at him, still smacking the boy anywhere you could reach him. ‘ow! ow! fuck-y/n! stop hitting me!’ he brought his arms to his face, trying to curl up in a ball to shield himself from your ruthless attack on him (as if a boy his height could actually manage to make himself small).

you felt him grab your wrists with his hands, his scowl softened when he was finally able to see your face, your eyes shiny and cheeks wet. ‘hey, hey, what happened?’ his deep voice held concern and fright in it, afraid he had done something to hurt you. you sniffled, looking at the bowl of popcorn, avoiding eye contact. ‘y/n, im sorry for kissing you, if you dont feel the same way thats totally fine.’ he said with a soft voice, releasing one of your wrists to wipe the trails of tears from your cheeks with his thumb.

‘god, youre so dumb’ you mumbled, looking at him. his eyebrows knit together in confusion, lips slightly parted. ‘of course i feel the same way! that’s why im crying! do you know how long i’ve liked you?’ you exclaimed, making jisung fall silent.

you, the girl of park jisung’s dreams, and his best friend of 15 years, actually liked him back?

he looked at you with wide eyes, unable to believe what was happening. ‘do you know how long i’ve liked YOU?? i thought i made myself obvious! all of the cuddle sessions we had, the times we’ve held hands, when i play with your hair, i just thought you didn’t like me back!’ he complained, running a hand through his black hair out of frustration. jisung looked you dead in the eyes, fumbling his hands around to find yours, lacing your fingers together.

‘so you’re telling me, this whole time we’ve both liked eachother? we just never saw the signs?’ you said in a shaky voice, blushing when you saw your small hands holding jisung’s big ones. something about this felt different, the way his hands cradled yours, his thumb running over yours in the most perfect way. it made both of your hearts race, a pink tint coming up to rest on your cheeks.

‘uh, no shit, sherlock’ jisung teased, giving you one of his heart-melting smiles, raising your interlocked hands up to his face, kissing the back of your hands. you stuck out your tongue at him, unable to hold back the giggle that was bubbling in your chest. ‘ji?’ you whispered, looking down at your hands once again. ‘yeah?’ he leaned in slightly, unable to hear you clearly.

‘i think i’m in love with you, actually’ you looked back up at jisung, and thats when it hit him. your red nose, pink cheeks, puffy, sparkling eyes and soft, kiss-swollen lips. ‘i-‘ his voice cracked, clearing his throat.

‘i think i’m in love with you too, y/n’

your eyes widened, a big smile spreading across your lips, jisung matching your expression. you reached over and grabbed a hand-full of the now soggy popcorn, hurling it at him, bursting out in a fit of giggles. ‘jisung! you’re so cheesy! cheesier than this movie!’ you playfully wrestled with him, laughs and screams filling the living room. ‘yah! thats gonna stain the couch and when jaemin yells at me for it im not gonna cover for you!’ jisung threatens, finally getting his feet on your stomach to kick you off of him.

your laughing dies down, a comfortable silence filling the air. you two just sit there, staring at eachother, admiring eachother’s features. your heart swells up for the millionth time that night, reaching up and brushing his hair back and out of his face. jisung turns his head and playfully licks at your hand, chuckling at the way you pull back, a grimace on your pretty face.

you purse your lips at jisung. ‘so..does this mean i can call you my boyfriend?’ you asked in a tiny voice, scooting closer to him, your knees bumping together. ‘only if i get to call you my girlfriend’ jisung leans in and rubs his nose against yours, giving it a quick peck right after.

you smile, the two of you looking at eachother like you two put stars in the sky.

‘i like the sound of that’, you say, sealing the deal with a kiss.

#NCT #nct dream #jisung #park jisung #park jisung fluff

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psychewithwings · 4 years

Note

I AM SAITAMA TRAIN THINGY ANON AND I JUST FOUND THE POST TY I LOVED IT— you write him so well i loved it sm sm sm. you up for more saitama sometime? :0 i forgot if you’re taking actual requests i’m gonna go check that

THEY ARE OPEN YES

consider: reader gets hurt fighting a villain (or smth) and saitama brings them back to his apartment. but!! he only has one bed >:)!! so they get the bed and he sleeps on the floor lmao. just sorta fluff :D? fluff for saitama? maybe they confess in the morning?? :D??? or just fluff headcanons (i didn’t wanna just ask for fluff headcanons because that’s pretty vague and shit :’D) whatever you’re up for!! ty for being a sick ass writer

Oh my honey bunny!!!! You are so very sweet AH! This legit made my dayyyy!

Im in love with these Saitama requests bc I’m in love with him, he does not get enough credit omggggg. (Also I’m so sorry this took me a hot sec to write, this request just deserved so much care because it was so genuinely sweet, I hope you like baby xxxx)

You were badly beaten up, bruised, and just all around embarrassed. You’d fought so hard, struggling to keep the toothy sewer monster away from the surrounding houses. The icy rain was coming down hard, making it difficult to see. It had flung you down on the ground, taking all the air from your body. Then Saitama knocks it down with a single punch... Yeah, you felt great. You were staring at him now, half with gratitude and half with the realization that you weren’t as strong as you thought you were. He smiled at you, when you blacked out.

You woke up, in an unfamiliar space. Your head was throbbing intensely. You tried to sit up and you groaned and clutched the side of your head, feeling how matted your hair was. “Here,” you watched through half lidded eyes as Saitama rose and grabbed you a glass of water. He dropped a tablet into it and you watched it fizz, the bubbles scattering around the water. He sat next to you, and even though your hand was on the glass, he didn’t let go of it. You took two long drinks, then handed the glass back to him. “You know, if you weren’t a hero who just saved my life, that would look pretty bad,” you said gesturing to the fizzing tablet. Saitama’s eyes got wide, “oh no, it’s- it’s just- dammit! It’s just something for head aches...” he said finally. You chuckled softly, you’d never seen him so flustered before.

Saitama was sitting on the floor watching tv. It was driving you crazy, he’d left without a single scratch and you’d passed out. Having to be saved infuriated you, but you didn’t want to be ungrateful to all his help. “My headache is feeling better, thanks.” Saitama smiled at you from his spot on the floor. He turned on the television and scanned the news. There was something happening a few cities over, it seemed pretty big and no heroes were there to help. Saitama rose, “I’ll be right back,” he mumbled as he left the room.

You couldn’t be mad at him for leaving you. It wasn’t his job to take care of you... The front door opened and shut and your heart sunk a bit. Was Saitama your friend? Sort of? He never spoke to you very much and his few word responses made it difficult to continue a conversation. But he had always given you a soft smile. It was so confusing.

The front door opened again and Saitama returned with a plastic bag, written on the side was THANK YOU with a smiley face. “Soup?” he offered. You laughed, scrunching your brow... this man was hard to read for being one so straight forward. “I figured you left to go fight whatever that was in City X... not bring me soup.” He sat and began to take the containers from the bag. “Oh, I did,” that’s Saitama for you I guess, “but then I saw the delivery guy at the door and figured I shouldn’t let you eat alone, so I let someone else to take care of it.” He handed you a container of soup and a plastic spoon. Saitama flipped the television back on, “let’s see how they're doing huh?”

“BREAKING NEWS, IT’S HEADED FOR THE POWER LINES IN CITY-” That was when all the lights went out. You could here him sigh in the darkness. “You don’t have a flashlight do you?” he asked. You softly replied, “no.” He said nothing but you heard him get up off the floor and stumble somewhere, there was rustling, then clinking, then a click, then a soft light. It was one of those home made, wine bottle oil lamps. He placed the light in the middle of the floor. It was only at that moment you realized you must be in Saitama’s bed. It was simply a mattress on the floor. It was however incredibly comfortable. The comforter was soft and crinkly. He only had one pillow but it was fluffy. “Do you want to play cards?” he offered, presenting a fresh deck. You nodded and he began to deal. He had beaten you at Go Fish 3 times before you suggested another game. Slap Jack was probably the wrong choice considering there was now a hole in his floor, but you’d both gotten a good laugh out of it and simply allowed the mattress to rest above the hole. The laughter from the Slap Jack event sparked the first real conversation you two had ever had. You found out that Saitama was funnier than you thought. The laughter evolved into more meaningful discussions about childhood and lost loves, and finally evolved into nothing at all, like what animals must think when humans change their clothes all the time... With all the talking you were starting to feel worse, weaker, which you resented. You pushed through, because more than anything, you were enjoying talking to him, getting to know who he really was other than this super powerful hero.

It was getting late and you went from feeling bad to feeling like death. However, you wouldn’t be telling Saitama that. Rest, that’s all you needed, yes. “You take the bed, I’ll sleep here,” he whispered. “What? No, I should go home, it’s fine.” He gave you a serious and semi annoyed expression, “do you think you could get yourself home?” Even though the tablet had eased the pain, it didn’t stop the chills, or the joint aches, or the room from spinning. “No...” you admitted reluctantly. “That’s what I thought.” He retrieved a towel and his red cape and made them into a pillow and a blanket. You’d both been laying in silence when you started to feel like you were freezing. You were underneath all the blankets, shivering. “Y/n?” he asked to your covered shape, “are you okay?” You shifted, which sent chills through your body. You heard him move towards you and he placed his hand on your forehead. “You’re sick, fever probably,” he moved and he placed the towel and his cape over you. He moved back towards the floor but you weakly caught his hand. “Do-do you think you could lay with me?” You rolled to look at him and his eyes were big, soft, watching you carefully, with concern. He climbed onto the small mattress beside you and gently laid his arm over your waist, pulling you into him. The warmth from his body, radiating through your back, and the light rise and fall of his breath lured you to sleep.

You awoke with the sun pouring through Saitama’s blinds. You were all sweaty, your fever must have broke in the night but Saitama was still holding onto you. You stirred, trying to give him space but he pulled you closer, “are you feeling any better?” he asked. “Yes, much,” you turned now to face him, “thank you.” Then he did something completely unexpected, he pressed his lips to your forehead then ran his hand down your cheek, “of course.” As soon as he did it, his eyes became wide, “I-I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have-” You took his hand and kissed each of his fingers. There wasn’t anything to say. Some things were best left unspoken. He simply closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to yours.

#saitama #one punch man #fluff #fluffy #marshmallow fluff

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toeil · 4 years

Text

summer is over, and so are we. [2] ↠ jung jaehyun

[pt.1] [pt.3]

➹ jaehyun x reader x doyoung ➹ genre: angst, fluff ➹ word count: 3,343

➹ summary: He introduced you to a warm summer you thought you would never have to leave. Yet, here you are, in the middle of a ruthless winter which’s ending seems to be nowhere in sight.

a/n; totally forgot to ever post the part 2 for this...i was going through my google docs and i found this and the part 3 so im just gonna post it now LOL it’s old so my writing is kind of funky but i tried to fix as much as i could without rewriting the whole thing smh

“Are you going to go on another date with Doyoung?” You could feel Johnny shift his gaze from his phone screen over to you.

“You already know the answer to that.” You sounded disinterested as you continued to scroll down the current page you had opened on your laptop.

“Let me rephrase. Go on another date with Doyoung.” You sighed and turned your body towards him on the couch, “Johnny, sometimes just understand things, alright?”

“You make me really sad, y/n. It’s been a year, when will you allow yourself to move the fuck on?... Jaehyun has.” He mumbled the last part to himself, hoping it would fall on deaf ears. But of course it didn’t.

Your shoulders stiffened up, “Jaehyun’s dating someone?”

Johnny offered you a sympathetic look, “yeah. She’s the daughter of one of his mom’s friends. You don’t know her.” You looked away from him and nodded, returning back to your laptop screen.

Johnny tried again after a few minutes, “Doyoung said he had a lot of fun at the bubble tea place you guys went to. He really likes you, you know? I really think you should consider going out with him again. Maybe you guys could go to the carnival.”

The mention of the carnival piqued your interest, “the carnival?”

“Yeah! You know the one that comes every year and sets up at the river?” You knew it well. That carnival was one of Jaehyun’s favorite things and he went every year. You knew because he used to tell you stories about it all the time, you never knew such crazy things could go down at a carnival. You were supposed to go with him last year, but because of work you had to cancel and promised to go with him the next year. Oh, how foolish you were then.

“Never heard of it.”

“Really? It’s a lot of fun. You’d enjoy it, especially if you went with Doyoung!”

If you went would you see Jaehyun? “Alright...I’ll go.”

“With Doyoung?”

“With Doyoung.”

Next week rolled around and although you admit you weren’t extremely excited for today, as soon as you stepped out of Doyoung’s car you felt yourself start to feel a little bubbly at the sight of the carnival in the distance. It was dark enough for the owls to nestle into their homes up in the trees, but the stalls and booths and the rides that were still set up all vibrated with brightly colored neon lights that the moonless night was soon forgotten by everyone. Since it was so late, not a single child was running rampant with parents chasing them around, and that definitely was a plus. You looked around and watched people's excitement seemingly increase with each step they took towards the entrance, laughing and shouting next to their friends about what the night ahead them was going to hold.

As soon as you got in, you noticed the carnival was a lot bigger than you had pictured. There were two roller coasters, big ones with loops, a drop tower, a ferris wheel, and even bumper cars. They had also set up, what looked like to you, a thousand booths. Ones where you could play games and win prizes of various sizes and values and ones where you could get palm readings and such. You wondered how difficult it must be to move this stuff around from place to place.

Your eyes found their way back to the rollercoasters and you felt that tiny ounce of excitement start to fizzle out with nervousness and regret. But as soon as you looked up towards Doyoung you felt your fizzled out excitement being replaced with something else you couldn’t decipher. It wasted no time in spreading through your chest. His eyes were shining brighter than the lights ahead of you, and you swore you had never seen someone smile so big; he was practically glowing from the inside out.

“Where do you want to go first?” He asked, practically bouncing.

You couldn’t help but smile back at him, “wherever you want to!”

“Should we ride the rollercoaster first?” He watched your face drop and he miserably failed at trying to stifle his laugh.

“Oh haha, yes very funny,” you rolled your eyes, “you know what? Let’s go ride both of the rollercoasters right now! I’m not scared! And I refuse to ride them after we eat funnel cake.”

“I was just joking, we really don’t have to ride them! Like at all, if you don’t want to.” You straightened yourself out, “I want to. C’mon! Let’s go.” You two paid for the red wristbands which would allow you to ride any of the rides, and made your way over to the first roller coaster. The line wasn’t long so in no time you two found yourselves getting buckled into the ride. Your arms were heavy, your knees were weak, and your palms were sweaty. You could practically feel your soul leave your body and the ride hadn’t even started moving yet. Doyoung, on the other hand, already had his adrenaline pumping. He looked over and noticed your stiff body language and asked if you were okay.

“I’m fin- oh god, it’s moving.” Your body jerked up as soon as you felt the roller coaster car start to slowly inch forward. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Doyoung move his arm over to you, “you can hold onto me if you’re scared, y/n. It’s okay.” At this point, the roller coaster car was at the peak of the ride, and as soon as the chains released the cars you wasted no time in grabbing his arm and stuffing your face into his side, screaming.

Doyoung has his free arm lifted up in the air and he’s happily screaming. His heart’s thumping loudly against his chest and he can very clearly hear it in his ear, and maybe it’s because of the ride or maybe it’s because you’re wrapped around his arm. Probably both. Either way, he was enjoying it.

Once the ride was over you finally let go of him and let out a sigh of relief. You slowly ask him, “should we go on the other one now?”

“Maybe we can save that for next time?” Next time?

“Yeah, next time, that works for me.”

“Look at that flamingo!” Your eyes followed Doyoung’s finger towards a ring toss game. There was a giant fluffy pink flamingo hanging at the top attracting everyone's attention. “Let’s go try to win it!”

Doyoung paid the staff member and got a bucket of rings for five dollars and within seconds he had used up all the rings. He huffed, “what the heck?...Excuse me,” he pulled another five dollar bill out of his wallet, “can I try again?” The staff member collected the rings he had just thrown and handed them back to him, “good luck!” Doyoung tried again and got only one ring which earned him one of the smaller prizes on the bottom shelf. He clicked his tongue out of annoyance, “keep it. I want to try again for the flamingo.” You silently chuckled to yourself watching him get frustrated over a ring toss game. He tried again and failed...again. He turned to you in disbelief, “oh my god??? y/n this game is rigged! Let me tr-”

“No! Doyoung, let’s go walk somewhere else and then we can come back okay?” You could tell he wanted to protest but he bit down on his tongue and decided to follow you away from the ring toss game. “Oh, look. The balloon dart game looks a lot easier.”

“But the prizes suck.”

You hummed, “yeah, they aren’t as cute at the flamingo. Let’s go get funnel cake and then let’s go on the drop tower and then we can go back to the ring toss and I’ll give it a shot this.”

“The drop tower?? Are you sure?” He eyed you suspiciously.

“Yes! I actually really like the tower drop! And it’s not even that high here.”

He looked back at the tower drop peeking up over all the booths, “I don’t know...that looks pretty high to me.”

“Are you scared of it?”

“No! I’m just curious as to how you’d want to ride that but be scared of roller coasters that don’t even go up as high as that.” He retorted.

“The world works in many mysterious ways, Kim Doyoung. Now come on, let’s get in line for the funnel cake.”

While you two shared a plate of funnel cake at the seating area under a tent, without noticing, Doyoung had gotten quite a bit of powdered sugar all over his jeans. When he stood up you couldn’t help but double over in laughter, “how’d you get all that on your pants!?” You tried to say between breaths. His face turned a light crimson color as he turned his back towards you and tried to wipe it off around the crotch area of his jeans. “It’s not my fault they put so much of that stupid sugar!”

After you had calmed down from your laughing fit and Doyoung had calmed down his racing heart, you two made your way to get on the drop tower. When you got off, you complained about how it wasn’t as climactic as the one at the amusement park.

Soon enough, you guys had come back around to the ring toss game, just like you had promised. This time, you gave up five dollars for the bucket of rings but just as you were about to toss the first one, Doyoung stopped you. “Wait, let me try one more time.” You gladly handed it over to him and felt your heart warm up at the sight of him closing his eyes to try and prepare himself.

A few seconds later your ears caught on to a boyish laughter coming from behind. You knew exactly who it belonged to. That was a sound you could never forget. Every nerve and cell in your body told you not to, but you turned around anyway. And there he was, laughing with some unfamiliar girl next to him. She gave him a little flirtatious shove, which only egged on his honey-like laughter even more. He looked down at his feet as he stumbled a few steps away from her. As he brought his gaze back up, his eyes fell on you standing a short distance away from him. His smile began to falter as he froze in his spot, watching you with a sort of surprised and confused look. This was the first time you had seen each other since the break up and it felt weird. You felt like your lungs were being compressed and there was no room for you to breathe.

He looked different. The clothes he was wearing were different from what he’d usually feel comfortable in. His natural silky black hair was dyed a soft brunette color. The earring you had gotten him a while ago was replaced with another silver one that dangled from his ear. This wasn’t the Jaehyun you were used to seeing everyday. You had him memorized, but staring back at him now, it was like you knew nothing. He just felt different.

The longer you stared at him the more you felt your brain wanting to reminisce about what you two had shared. And as soon as you felt your eyes start to sting, you swung back around. Doyoung felt your arm brush against his and he looked away from the ring toss game down at you with a grin, “y/n! Did you see how clos-...y/n?” He quickly set the bucket of rings down and his hands instinctively flew up to either side of your cheeks. His eyes had gotten wide with worry, “are you crying? y/n? Why are you crying? Wh- what happened?” His voice didn’t do well to hide his panic.

You shook your head and sniffled, allowing your lips to form a weak smile, “I’m not crying! I had a sneeze coming, and it was so close so my eyes started to water. But now it’s gone.” Doyoung’s face instantly flushed a bright red and he removed his palms from your cheeks so fast, as if he had just touched a burning pot or something, “O-oh! Sorry! I didn’t- I just- I thought you were crying s-so I got worried.”

You grabbed the bucket he had set down and pulled out a ring. You cleared your throat and allowed yourself to let out a soft chuckle, “It’s fine....Can I try?” He enthusiastically nodded and moved to the side to give you some room before grabbing a ring for himself, “I think if we both throw some at the same time then we might get a few in and finally win.”

He was right. You two had won the game and watching Doyoung become so ecstatic for a stuffed toy had you quickly forgetting about that small encounter with Jaehyun. Doyoung had wanted to give you the flamingo, claiming he wanted to win it for you, but you insisted he kept it because he was the one who got in the last ring that won you guys the game. And after a short amount of back and forth bickering, he had accepted it. Now you two were seated on the ferris wheel, looking up at the sky and taking in the beauty of the stars that were scattered perfectly across the night.

“Hey, can I give you something?”

“Sure.” “Hold out your hand.” You obliged and held your hand out, palm facing up. Doyoung reached in his pocket and brought it back out, closed in a fist. He hovered his fisted hand over your open one, and when he opened it, nothing fell out. Before you could allow yourself to feel confused, he had grabbed your hand and intertwined his fingers with yours. Your breath got caught in your throat at the feeling of his warmth spreading to your hand, slowly traveling up to the rest of your body. He let your now enclosed hands fall down to his side and leaned over the ferris wheel car to look below to try and act unbothered, but you didn’t miss the embarrassment creeping up his neck. Your eyes traveled back down to your hands and you felt a shy smile begin to form on your mouth.

That night you laid in bed having trouble falling asleep because of this new feeling that was forming in the pit of your stomach. Because of this weird burning feeling that you felt on the same hand Doyoung had held. Because of the uncontrollable beating of your heart. Because of your thoughts running wild with Doyoung’s name. Because you couldn’t think of Jaehyun even if you wanted to.

Maybe you were finally ready to move on.

5 years later

Today was the day you had always dreamed of for yourself ever since the first time you had led the wedding ceremony for your barbie doll and her other half, Ken. Today you were marrying your other half too, Kim Doyoung.

You dated him four years, and was engaged to him for one. When Doyoung first asked you to be his girlfriend, you had yes because you realized you deserved to be able to find a loving person just like everyone else. And Doyoung was exactly that. At first you were afraid you’d be wasting his time, but when you realized that you never once compared Doyoung to Jaehyun, or even thought about Jaehyun when you were with him, you knew you weren’t using him or anything like that. And after that was when you realized you were in love with him and his bratty attitude.

You were currently waiting in your bridal suite, completely ready since half an hour ago. The crowd of your friends and family that were helping you had finally left to give you some space, so now you were seated in front of your mirror in an empty room, trying to calm your racing heart and shaky hands. This was a huge step in your life and you couldn’t help but feel extremely nervous.

You heard two soft knocks at your door and exhaled, “come in.” The door hesitantly creaked open.

“J-Jaehyun? What’re you-”

“Hey.”

“...Hey?” It’s not like this was your first time seeing him after that day at the carnival. You had seen Jaehyun at gatherings and parties you went to plenty of times. But you two didn’t talk often, and weren’t really friends or anything, so you’re surprised to see him here. He was invited to the wedding but why is he here alone with you right now?

“You’re getting married today.”

“I am.”

“How do you feel?” His face was extremely hard to read.

“Jaehyun...do you need something?”

“I just wanted to talk...about what happened.”

“What happened?” You scoffed, what the hell is he thinking? You had imagined this scenario in your head many times before, when you would finally be able to talk to him about your past. But you didn’t ever picture it being on your wedding day. Quite frankly, you didn’t want to talk about it now, or ever for that matter, anymore.

He sighed and sat down on the chair a few feet away from you, “Just hear me out, okay?” He took your silence as an okay for him to continue.

“I broke up with you because I thought it was for the best. We were getting really serious, and I knew if we stayed together for any longer it would be harder for me to break it off. From the very beginning of our relationship we had an expiration date. I knew we couldn’t be together for a long time, but I was selfish and didn’t consider your feelings.”

“What do you mean?”

Jaehyun’s eyes were starting to water under the room lights, “I’ve mentioned to you before how much my mom has done for me, right?” You nodded, your face softening at the mention of his mother who had sacrificed so much for him. “Well, I promised myself I’d do anything and everything in my control to make her happy and have her never worry about me. She liked Jisoo a lot and always mentioned her to me. She never said it to me directly, but I knew she wanted us to be together. So I was going to do just that, I’ll admit I did harbor feelings for her, but I knew once we started dating, she would be the one I would have to settle down with. Because of that, I dated a lot of girls for short periods of time that I liked. And you were supposed to be the same. But as our relationship progressed I would find excuses to just date you for a little while longer.”

“Jaehyun, stop, please? I don’t- I don’t need this right now, okay? I’m about to get married in less than an hour.”

“I know...I’ll stop...I just- I need you to answer one thing for me. And you have to be honest.”

“What is it?”

“Do you love me?”

“...What kind of game are you trying to play with me?”

“I’m not trying to play any game with you, y/n. I just need to know.”

You didn’t reply for a while, and just stared at him. Trying to figure him out. When you finally decided to reply, you released a heavy sigh “I think I’ll always love you, Jaehyun.”

He gave you a sad smile. “...The day we broke up, I told you it was because I didn’t think I could always love you, right?...I wasn’t lying. Because y/n, I don’t think I’ll always love you,” the tears he was holding back began to trickle down his face, “I know I will.”

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lemonietrinket · 4 years

Text

Love ||| Wayv x Reader

Summary: Everyone needs to be taken care of sometimes, no matter how strong they are. And so when you come home from an awful day in the outside world, you are blessed to have several people come and pick you up again, setting you back on your feet. Though, not everything is as a clear cut as you perhaps once thought.

Genre: Angst, but then lots of Fluff to make up for it!! and Humour too bc i think im funny

Warning(s): Detailed description of big crying, no mention of reasons why, just left as a very bad day; single sentence description of a mild bruise; a bit of arguing but it’s mild and there as so to highlight something

Word Count: 20,314 jesus christ

Theme Song: The Flower (feat. Maximilian Hecker) - Leo; Heart Flutter - W24; Only Love Can Hurt Like This - Paloma Faith

AN: original was a request from @idont-knowapil. I hope yall enjoy the rewrite. It’s pretty different in some places, but now there’s actually a lot of foundations for what is to come. Fem!Reader

~~~

It had taken all of your strength to not cry on the way home on the bus. There were too many people around for you to let the tears fall, but you’d bitten your lip so hard it bled and had held your breath until you were heaving, for it to all prove to be little use.

You tried your best, turning your head into the glass and staring into the darkness outside, praying that no one turned to look back at you or your reflection.

As soon as you got off at your stop, unable to utter a ‘thank you’ to the driver which made you feel even worse (if that were even possible) your defences began to break down.

Tears streamed down your face in the frozen evening air, merging with the rain and slipping between your trembling lips, the salt tingling on the tip of your tongue. Your nose ran viciously because of the wind, which also mussed up your hair causing you even more frustration as you tried to hold it out of your face, only for it to cover eyes uncomfortably again.

Your voice seeped into your breath as you tried to remain silent, strained whines at the effort it took to not openly weep as you needed to, whilst you prayed endlessly that no one would pass you by on the street and see the mess you were in.

Fumbling with your keys, just inches from being inside and away from the world, almost sent you over the edge. The key had got caught in one of the keyrings and with your shivering fingers and blurry vision, it seemed the world was kicking you while you were down.

A cry rose in your throat, and you forced it down as best you could, until finally you crashed into the house, bags toppled by the oven across the room. You were home at last. Slamming the backdoor behind you with a strength you didn’t realise you had left, you took merely a single step inside before you tripped over an abandoned pair of shoes and fell to the floor with a thud and a sob so hard no noise came from your body.

Today was not your day.

Your chest constricted upon itself, ribs very nearly bruising your lungs and heart, until you finally caught some air and howled.

You were ashamed of how you must have looked, sprawled on the kitchen floor, weeping hysterically, no doubt with a muddied coat and a bruised knee and hands pressed into wet footprints upon the linoleum floor.

If you’d been told to write the worst day you could have, today took that itinerary and then dragged it through hell.

You didn’t have the energy to stand, even if the puddles from outside that your shoes had dragged inside were being soaked up by your socks, unrolled at your heels and stained from their pristine white. Lethargically, you began to lift yourself out of the doorway as best you could, and to your feet. Your success was tainted however as you accidentally knocked your elbow against the counter ledge, and fresh tears immediately sprung to your eyes. It was the final straw for you, as you leant over the countertop and wept. Your fingers gripped the wood roughly, your forehead coming to rest against the cupboard as ‘what if’s swirled around your head. What if you’d been more polite to her. What if you’d done your printing the day before. What if you’d taken your lunch break elsewhere.

You knew rationally that nothing was your fault, but the rational part of your brain was far surpassed by raw emotion of emptiness that the uncaring world had showed you that day.

Your ears just about caught the footsteps outside before the door opened. When it did, you flicked your head towards the man out of reflex, your muscles tensed and breath shallowed.

“Y/N?”

The door closed, and the man came to a stop a few feet from you. The light flickered on suddenly—you hadn’t noticed his hand reach to the corner and turn on the switch—and the two of you suddenly reached a realisation as quickly as you were bathed in light.

It was Kun, a sight that you unfortunately greeted with creased features and tear-stricken face.

He responded to yours with a sharp inhale. His voice was hushed and filled with concern however, as he shrugged off his bag and immediately made the rest of the way to you, “Y/N…”

The man’s palms hovered beside you, unsure of what the situation was and what to do about it.

You opened your mouth to speak, but a broken cry was the only sound you could make.

“Y/N, are you ok?” he exclaimed, lightly brushing the hair from your face to try and understand what was wrong. “What’s wrong love? P-please, I don’t…”

At the first touch of his fingertips against your damp cheeks, you shook your head, instead slumping into his chest. You clung to him, fear gone as you cried openly into his jumper, speckled with rain. Kun was very nearly speechless, his hands eventually settling upon your back. Though of course you were still in your coat and the weather had left it sodden.

“Oh, love, oh…” he trailed off, unable to find the words. Seeing you like this hurt him beyond explanation, and he had no idea how he could even convey what he needed to do. Slipping off his shoes as quickly as he could and discarding them by the door, he reached his arms between you. “Come on, love, let’s get you out of this coat. You’ll catch a cold.”

A pang of hurt struck your heart briefly as he somewhat unceremoniously pushed you off him, but before you could begin to wallow again he’d slipped the coat off your shoulders and hooked it by the door, speaking once again, “You can get your shoes, right?”

You nodded sullenly, reaching down to undo your laces, meanwhile Kun rested his hand upon your back to hold you steady. His touch was surprisingly warm for someone who had only just come inside from the cold, however the chill of the room was creeping into your bones as your shirt provided you little warmth in the barely-heated house.

One shoe was off without a problem, however as you lifted your leg to take off the other, a twinge of pain ricocheted through your knee. You had clearly fallen harder than you had first imagined.

“Love? Did you hurt yourself?” he enquired, as his mind finally connected the dots as to what had happened, roughly.

“I…” you began, swallowing thickly, before you realised you didn’t exactly have enough energy to finish what you had started.

“It’s alright, I’ve got it.” And without hesitation, Kun crouched down to remove the shoe for you.

You felt pathetic to say the least. Like a child who had thrown a tantrum but had a parent who spoiled her nonetheless. You’d only hurt your knee, too. How could you possibly need someone else to remove your own shoe?

Truth be told, Kun felt like he wasn’t doing anywhere near enough, and had leapt at the chance to help you in absolutely any way possible.

Besides, before you could really do anything about it he’d placed your shoes neatly on the rack and returned to your side. “Alright, you’re good to walk?”

You nodded after a moment of hesitation, making his concern worsen. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” Your voice was shaky, but possessed enough certainty to convince him at least.

“Ok, that’s good. Where does it hurt?”

“Just… my knee…”

“Cut? Bruise?” His eyes dropped down instinctively to check, to only find a few muddy splotches upon your trousers.

You sighed, trying to work up the effort to explain. “I o-only tripped… hit it on the… the floor—stupid shoes.”

He was mildly startled by the sudden venom in your voice, glancing back to try and see whose shoes it had been. A wave of panic rushed to his chest as he spotted his overturned shoes in the middle of the doorway.

��Love… I’m so sorry, they’re mine. They must have fallen, I’m sorry—”

Your heart crashed to the pit of your stomach as you heard his words, and suddenly you felt terrible for even speaking.

“I-I’m sorry, I’m ok, it’s ok, I’m not mad, it—it…” Your teeth sank into your lip as you desperately tried to quell the overwhelming urge to cry again.

“Hey, it’s alright! I…” Kun’s eyes flew wide open as he attempted to ease the situation. He quickly changed tact. “Love, why don’t you go get changed? You’ll get cold otherwise. I’ll get an ice pack for your knee, and everything will be alright… yeah?”

You swallowed, mouthing a ‘thank you’ that you had intended to give a voice to, but it did not come. Deciding he had the right idea as you shivered, you edged your way out of the kitchen and up the stairs to your room, clutching to the banister as you went.

Stumbling into your bedroom, you set yourself down on your bed with a sigh, disgruntledly throwing some the clothes you’d discarded on the covers that morning out of the way onto the floor beside the end of your bed.

You haphazardly removed your clothes, your elbow crying out in pain now too as you stretched a bit too far, leading you to whimper. Even after changing into a warmer set of pyjamas, you remained cold.

As you began to shift your legs to attempt to remove your dirty socks, Kun knocked on the door.

You really wanted to reply with a ‘come in’, but all that really came out was an awkward hum.

He got the message however, slipping his body through a tiny crack in the door as if he didn’t want to disturb the room. He’d put himself into a more comfortable hoodie to keep himself warm before he’d come to you, a pack of cold peas in his hand.

“Honestly, you’d think we’d have specific ice packs in this household but, no,” he chuckled sheepishly, “all we have is cold peas. For some reason. Who here even likes peas?”

Had you been bright as you normally were you would have pressed the charge, accusing him of being the pea lover, since he was the dad of the house, obviously. You lamented the fact that you weren’t able to really muster even the melancholic humour it at the very least required.

In the period of time you’d been zoned out, the man was by your side, eyes searching your face. “Are you sure you’re doing fine?” He handed you the peas as you nodded slowly, accepting them with an empty face.

While you grimaced, feeling the ice cut deep into your bones, Kun found himself unable to watch, turning his attention elsewhere. He couldn’t help but note that whenever the slightest bit of pain touched you, whether it was physical or emotional, he couldn’t stand it. It was as if his entire chest contorted into a cage, the bones of his ribs becoming iron bars and just… crushing.

He found himself scooping up your dishevelled clothes from the floor and folding them neatly, before stacking them on your desk chair. Except the dirty ones, he’d looped those over his arm.

“Hey, I’ll just go put these in the wash real quick, ok?” His eyes carefully moved to look over to you again. He found your own gazing at the trousers upon his arm, glistening.

Before he could mention any comfort, they’d slipped to the pitiful state of your socks, as you choked an apology. It seemed so irrational to you to get so upset about socks, but they had been so clean and you’d just messed them up and you couldn’t help but blame yourself.

Kun however wasn’t letting you descend again.

He came to your side, shushing you gently. His fingers reached your head, stroking your hair with a gentle care you’d never felt from him before. “Love, sweetheart, it’s ok! It’s ok, it’s not your fault.”

He cursed himself in his head. If it was anyone’s fault in this scenario, it was his. He didn’t want to upset you further by mentioning that though, and so managed to keep it to himself.

“Let's just get you out of these, so they can be washed and all clean again, yeah?” He gave you a reassuring squeeze on your shoulder. “Do you need any help?”

You really didn’t want to accept that you did. To try and prove that, you slipped your left sock off with an issue, to which Kun took off your hands swiftly and added to his looped pile. However, even with the added angles from your bed, the makeshift ice pack prevented you from really removing the second one without pain.

Kun wordlessly took to his knees so he could help.

His kindness was tugging at your heart, smashing it to pieces in your vulnerable state, only to pull it all back together again. You didn’t feel worthy of his care, but on the other hand all you wanted was him to stay and never leave you.

In seconds the sock was gone and your foot cool. You expected him to stand again, but he remained on the carpet.

You peered down at him. “K-Kun?”

He was looking at the peas. “Love, can I see your knee?” He glanced upwards, soft eyes meeting your own for a brief moment before slipping away. “I just want to make sure it’s not too bad.”

Lifting the ice pack away from your knee cautiously, you helped him ease the cloth of your pyjamas up over your knee.

He hissed at the sight of the bruise you found there, as if the pain were his own. “Oh, love that looks painful.”

“D-does it?” The sight of the pinkish circle only startled you in the sense that it didn’t look that bad.

“It must hurt a lot,” he reiterated, “be careful around it. Don’t want you getting hurt more.”

“Oh… ok…”

The rough pads of his fingers left your skin, as you shifted the cloth back over your leg, all while goosebumps began to speckle across your arms.

Kun noticed immediately, eyes darting around the room as he got to his feet. Eventually he settled on the blanket balled up somewhat at the foot of your bed. Unravelling it, he brandished it around you like a cape, before wrapping you up in it.

“There.” He seemed pretty proud of his work, a smile finally adorning his handsome features. “Feel a little more comfortable?”

You pulled your eyes up to meet his gaze, and attempted to give a smile. It didn’t work. You settled on another nod.

“Well, that’s a success.” He laughed softly. You always liked the sound of his happiness, he always sounded so warm. “I’m going to head back downstairs, you want to come or stay up here?”

“I’ll…” you took a deep breath, “I’ll come.”

“Yeah? Great!” Your answer made his face light up even further, eyes actually turning into beautiful crescents. His sudden excitement reflected in his actions too, as he outstretched his hand to you, to help you up.

You took it as quickly as you could manage for how tired you still were, and the thought of how nice it felt to be holding his hand crossed your mind without a single hindrance. In fact it worried you, for reasons you were too exhausted to try and determine. And so you decided to drop it, fast.

It was surely nothing after all.

After leading you downstairs in a comfortable silence, you were eventually on the centre of the sofa, all the remotes beside you, with Kun by the entrance to the kitchen.

“I’ll make you some food? Ramyun will be good right?” he hesitated, feeling the corners of his lips twitch at the sight of you, encompassed by the blanket like a burrito. It wasn’t fair how adorable you were. “Or grab you some more blankets, anything you need.”

You hummed sadly, trying to draw your lips together to speak.

“Yes, love?”

He was so patient.

“I…” you swallowed, hands tiredly lifting away from your body and towards him, as outstretched as you could manage, “can I have… have a… hug? Please…?”

His features softened even further, if that were even possible, his eyes regarding you carefully as his lips curled into a smile.

Before he could answer—and make no joke, his answer would have been to take a seat beside you and instantly take you into his arms—there was a clatter, as the back door opened. Several voices swarmed over one another, littered with giggles and whoops as they bickered in the falling darkness.

Kun’s head turned to the kitchen, and he nodded as he saw what you presumed was the face of one of the members through the doorway. “I think you can get a really big one, now,” he remarked, a tinge of sadness in his voice.

Not quite understanding the situation, you merely pouted, feeling the burn in your heart.

Kun was extremely aware of how your face fell so drastically “I can’t leave them in charge of cooking can I?” Kun explained with a chuckle, worry tinging his voice. “Please don’t be sad, love. I-I’ll hug you later I promise.”

“Promise?” you asserted.

“With my whole heart.”

His words threw your own through a loop.

Kun meanwhile called out to the others, “Welcome home! You’re late, but I’ll let it slide if you come here and help me.”

There were a couple of confused ‘eh’s until a few familiar faces came into the room, shrugging off their coats.

You almost broke into fresh tears as you saw Xuxi’s bright, sunny smile drop from his face when he laid eyes on you.

“Y/N?!” he exclaimed, glancing at Kun for an explanation.

At the sound of his deep-set shout, Sicheng leant out from behind the giant puppy’s shoulders to see what Xuxi was so upset about.

He too went from quietly happy to extremely concerned at the sight of your reddened cheeks.

You quickly became very embarrassed. You hadn’t been cute crying, exactly, and you figured you still looked like a dazed, tear-stained mess.

That was when Ten slipped past the two of them abruptly, running over to you before you could even cry in surprise.

“No no, no…!” he cooed, perching very carefully on the edge of the sofa, his body turned completely towards you as he extended his hands to your face. He dabbed at your mottled cheeks rather frantically, the coolness of his fingers making you shiver, as they were chilled the winter, whilst your skin had been made hot by tension and stress.

“No, baby, are you ok? What’s wrong? What happened?” He glanced back at Kun who was heading through into the kitchen. “Kun, is it just my hands or is she running a fever?” Before you could answer he continued, eyes shining, “Are you hurt? Sick? Did someone hurt you?”

“They better not have hurt you!” Xuxi interjected, leaning over the back of the sofa. “If they did then you tell me their names, Y/N,” he said diligently, “I’ll make sure they never even look at you again I swear—!”

Sicheng rolled his eyes, a light scoff drifting from his lips as he patted Xuxi's shoulder, before heading round to the chair opposite you. “It’s ok guys, she’s not dying.”

He’d said it with a joking lilt and a gentle tone, but Ten’s mouth hung open as he shot him a look. “I know she’s not, but she’s upset and I’m not having that!”

“Neither will I!”

“Xuxi, you couldn’t hurt anyone even if you tried,” Ten returned, turning his full attention back to you. “Now, if my girl is not sick, and not physically hurt, then I know exactly what she needs, don’t I?”

As soon as he grinned at you, you couldn’t help but let the corners of your own lips lift. And, much like a chain reaction, as soon as he saw you brighten, even if only slightly, his smile grew into a beam.

“My girl wants hugs, doesn’t she?” he murmured, giddily tapping his finger against the tip of your nose.

You couldn’t avoid emitting a squeak at the contact—his fingers were too cold—but rationale had also left you in some parts, perhaps, as you nodded eagerly, dragging your arms up and throwing them out to welcome him in.

Ten slipped back on the sofa, pulling you into his chest protectively. He was careful to place his hands where they wouldn’t touch your skin, but also where you would know he was there, and so he nestled one into your waist and the other upon the back of your head.

Adjusting your position only slightly to lessen the pressure off the bridge of your nose, you settled your face in the nook of his neck, fingers laced in his shirt, as you took in the scent of his cologne. He must have several varieties but this one was easily your favourite—whatever it was. It was light, but deep and welcoming, with the openness of a spring day but the independence of a lucid dream, which was kind of how you felt held so close to his heart. You could feel it beating against your arm, seeping through your sleeves and sinking into your skin, through to your own heart, which skipped as soon as the thought of it all struck your conscious mind. You very nearly forgot about the others around you, though as soon as you’d been dipped into the waters of serenity, you’d been pulled out by your own awareness.

Ten was stroking your hair gently, though his touch was shallow to avoid both knots and making you shiver.

Kun was instructing someone about something, words just out of reach for you to piece together, but no sooner than he’d finished, a loud voice that could only be recognised as Xuxi’s, yelled, “group hug!” and a figure then bounded around the sofa.

You couldn’t see Sicheng, so had no idea what he was doing, but you heard a chuckle that sounded like his.

And a second after you’d questioned the reasoning behind his amusement, you felt a weight crash behind you on the couch.

Ten snapped up out of surprise, indicating he perhaps hadn’t seen in coming either, and with his hand leaving your head, you pressed yourself up slightly to try and get a better look at what happened.

“Hm—?”

It was no use however, because you were knocked back against Ten with a yelp from both of you, as the newcomer practically slammed his weight against your back.

Ten hauled you up as best he could so you weren’t stuck in a folded position but what you had ended up in nonetheless was still not overly comfortable. As you glanced at him you could see his lips wavering, formulating a sentence to most likely scold whoever had pushed the sudden attack with.

But there was no need, as you felt a pair of much longer arms encircle you and pull you more upright, a chin coming to rest surprisingly neatly on your shoulder.

“Hi, Y/N!” Xuxi sang, tapering off into a giggle as he gave you a tiny squeeze.

You laughed bemusedly, relieved to be alive, but also welcoming the warmth from the other side. Xuxi was in fact much warmer, to the point he could be described as an actual radiator, and with him smushed against your back you felt as if you were truly at home.

After a few seconds of his eyes evaluating the sight that he could see and you could not, it seemed that Ten appeared to accept it eventually too. Even with you practically stolen from his arms, he laughed it off, identifying that he could be perfectly comfortable laying into you rather the other way round.

With roles reversed, he slipped a hand up to your collarbone, resting his head just above the other, and seeking the opportunity to wrap one of his legs over yours, which was jutting out over the side of the sofa. Now you could see the room more clearly, and, with a tired laugh, you waved at Sicheng who was watching the borderline catastrophe with a confused but delighted grin on his features. There was a shade to his eyes though, something that you couldn’t quite place.

Peering over Ten’s head, you could see Kun leaning against the doorway, smiling proudly, as if the whole thing had been his doing.

Though thinking back to Xuxi’s sudden, but most likely inevitable, surprise attack, it maybe had been.

“Hi…!” You waved at him too, leading him to chuckle.

“Hello,” he replied, “you look better already.”

And with a brief scrunch of his nose, he was pushing himself off the wall’s edge and heading into the kitchen.

You pressed your chin into the crown of Ten’s hair, smiling tightly as quiet settled over the room.

You loved all of them, you honestly did, and you would never do without their bickering and yelling and screeching laughter. But it was relieving to hear peace every once in a while, with the only sound being the sound of steadied breaths—two pairs of which had become more-or-less synonymous with your own.

“You sure you don’t want to join us, Chengie?”

It was Xuxi that spoke.

You could have bet a million with certainty that it would be him that broke the silence. Man could never stay quiet for long, which was often one of the most endearing parts about him, as it often led him to some extraordinary lengths to find something, anything to say, crafting absolutely wonderful results. A lot of what Xuxi had to say ended up being enshrined as legendary tales that got passed down the long line of units until everyone had heard some form of what he’d said, and if not, they were plastered all over social media at the very least. At least half of them were your doing as well, in the sense that you were the prime messenger, relaying it to Johnny when you next video called him just to hear him one-up your story with one that originated from Mark, or Jungwoo whenever he visited.

The thought of how long he’d been missing for washed over you like sinking into a silent lake. He was back now, and you had been elated when you’d heard the news, waking up to a call from a no doubt bleary-eyed Jungwoo. But the pain of the near radio-silence at some points or his hiatus had been particularly tough to bear. And you hadn’t been the only one suffering.

You glanced back as best you could to the man who had spoken, his words on this occasion unfortunately not sparking much interest, as you waited for a response.

“No.” Sicheng shook his head once, voice neither amused nor melancholic, continuing, “But thank you.”

“Oh, ok! More space for us!” Xuxi’s responses were always bright and cheerful. You felt your heart lurch at the memory of the few times when they hadn’t been.

Meanwhile the man in question punctuated his words with another, tighter squeeze, which made you cry out in mildly strained laughter as you were brought back to the real world.

“Hey!”

“Dear lord…” Ten sighed, rolling his body-weight to allow his voice to carry into the kitchen. “Kun?!”

There were a few moments of silence, besides the sound of a knife meeting a chopping board from the kitchen. As you knocked your head back, Xuxi fingers digging into your sides, Ten proceeded, desperately trying to avoid your jolting legs, “When are the kids—ow!—when are the kids getting back?! Xu—xi!—is getting boisterous again!”

You freed one of your arms to poke your assailant’s side, making him jump and momentarily loosen his grip with a yelp—an opportunity you took without halt, shifting yourself out of his arms so you could tackle him head on.

“Ten, play nice!” you asserted gently, catching Xuxi’s hands and pushing against them as hard as you could with a laugh. You knew that if he was genuinely trying he would own you in an instant but you appreciated his instincts telling him to go easy on you. At least for now.

“I could say the same about you, actually!” Ten huffed, curled up on the furthest corner of the sofa and feeling rather discarded.

He watched the two of you wrestle, giggling through puffs of worn-out breaths, and couldn’t quite stop the corners of his lips twitching into a smile. He did find it endearing how you cared for the others, and how bouncy you could really get.

Though it was clear to say you were quickly tiring, and couldn’t keep up the chase as much as was perhaps needed. And so, he came to the rescue.

“Y/N! I’m cooooold…!” Ten whined.

Just because he was second oldest didn’t mean he was above whinging to get what he wanted.

Regretting how you’d unceremoniously shoved Ten off you, and accidentally somewhat kicked him, and then forgotten about the poor guy, you just about managed to slink your hands out of Xuxi’s with a quick exhale, swiftly backing off and sweeping your hands out of his reach as he tried to catch them again.

“Xuxi, no,” you murmured very softly, as if you were talking to a puppy, which to be honest it could be argued that you were, “Ten’s sad I gotta go.”

“Awh…”

“I’m also tired…”

“But what if I’m sad?”

Behold. There it was. The legendary Xuxi pout. Irresistible to those without prior training.

You shook your head, laying back to recline in Ten’s open arms. He immediately curled into you, cheek nuzzling your hair as he smiled victoriously.

Meanwhile Xuxi’s eyes widened further, glistening like clear gemstones in the evening light.

You held out your own hands, inviting him to come to you, however. “You can come and cuddle again though.”

He accepted that point, albeit a little sulkily, as he leant down, placing his head in your lap and a hand in yours as he arranged his unimaginably large frame into a ball to fit on the sofa, with room to spare.

It always confused you how someone so big could be so small.

Both their grips were a little firmer once they’d reestablished them; Ten’s now warmer hand had found its place upon the bare skin below the hem of your shirt, shielding it from the chill of the room while simultaneously making your heart beat just that little bit quicker, and Xuxi’s rested neatly around your thigh.

You were comfortable though, at last.

The kids, as they had been dubbed, arrived not long after, just as the delicious scent of Kun’s famous cooking began to fill the whole room to the brim. They stepped into a delightfully warm house, the tips of their noses and clouds of their cheeks blushed pink from the cold outside, and immediately they were stripping themselves free of their coats, as the temperature difference made them feel too hot to cope.

You’d rested in peace upon the sofa, kept warm but not too much so between the combined body heat of Ten and Xuxi. Sicheng meanwhile had taken out his phone a while ago, occasionally showing you funny memes and pictures he found. You didn’t really understand some of them, and he had to explain them, but you enjoyed it nonetheless, even if that same shadow tinted his eyes again as he did it.

As he entered the living room, Xiaojun regarded the sight of the three of you piled on the couch with curiosity to say the least, brows furrowing as he let the two behind him pass.

Yangyang barely scraped a glance at you, until he came back and saw it properly, smirking. “What is this?”

“Y/N was feeling sad, so we had to come and cheer her up!” Xuxi jumped in, shifting his weight upwards so his head was resting upon your stomach and where he could just about see the new arrivals.

“By… piling on the sofa?”

“What’s wrong Yangyang?” Ten snickered, before cooing, “Do you feel left out that I’m not babying you too?”

The youngest narrowed his eyes defiantly at the elder, who merely stuck his tongue out.

“Hey, you can join us if you want,” you interrupted cleanly, the wobble in your voice long gone.

“Can I?!” Hendery called from behind the two stood in the walkway, slipping through to poke his head around Xiaojun where you could see him. His lips were curved into a tiny little smile, eyes wide and clear and glimmering in hope for a ‘yes’.

“Of course!” you replied, hand leaving Ten’s arm and beckoning both of them over.

“I don’t think there’s any room,” Xiaojun remarked, exhaling amusedly as he hung up his bag round the banister, “you might have to take it in turns.”

At this, you felt both pairs of hands’ grips tighten, as if in reflex.

“But...!” Xuxi stuttered in his defence. “But I’m—!”

Ten meanwhile snorted in disapproval. “No, I’m comfy. You’ll have to drag me off yourself.”

“Not sure that’s a wise idea,” Sicheng said, barely looking up from his phone, “you’re the lightest one here, you know.”

As the two chaotic forces glanced at one another, grins affirming their idea before snapping back to begin stepping over to the smallest link in the chain, Kun’s voice rose above them all.

“Dinner’s ready! Come get it! The later you are, the less dumplings you get!”

It was as if it was a survival zone, as everyone barrelled to the kitchen.

Xuxi, no matter how loyal he could be, was always swayed by food, and so you had anticipated his sudden departure. However you could never have claimed to have expected the brief placement of his lips to the skin of your temple.

It was so quick and sudden and barely there that you couldn’t even begin to rationalise it. In fact, you only ended up conceiving that it hadn’t been a kiss at all. Perhaps it had never even been. You could have so easily imagined it, his lips grazing the air that surrounded you, muttering something instead. He could have so easily done, as you hadn’t really been listening.

Either way he slipped out of your hands, leaving you wrapped in Ten’s arms.

He—not that you could see due to the angle you were resting at—sent a glare to the retreating man as he made his way to the kitchen. He couldn’t help but do it, and he stopped as soon as he realised his features had become twisted in such a way.

He remained pressed against your back, unwilling to leave as he was not affected as severely by the thought of dinner, his hands remaining in their places in proof.

“Can’t we stay here and eat dinner?” he mumbled against your ear.

“I don’t think Kun would ever allow that.” You giggled. “Not after last time.”

“You never know until you try…” Without much warning, Ten tilted his head towards where Hendery had just exited from and shouted, “Kun?! Can Y/N eat her food on the sofa?!”

The man’s response was immediate. “No! Definitely not—! Not after last time!”

“See,” you snorted, patting his knee in consolation, “told you.”

The man rolled his eyes, sitting up reluctantly with you following suit, as he stretched his arms and back. “Fine. Come on, let’s eat.”

Dinner was a ruckus, as usual.

You cram eight people around a table and it will always be noisy, but if you then make half of those people crackheads and the other half happy to allow them to be crackheads, then you’ve got yourself a table of absolute chaos.

With the conversation flitting every few seconds, words bouncing from one side of the room to the other to a rhythm of laughter, many would probably have arranged to sit in their rooms to eat but you would never dream of doing such a thing.

Hearing the banter, weekly in-jokes and teasing was necessary, as it always lifted your spirits—as long as you weren’t upset at the time they picked on you. Luckily the previous cuddling had worked, and you were back to feeling ok, your problems not seeming so impossible anymore.

However, ‘ok’ was not good enough for these guys, and you knew they wouldn’t leave you at just that. They’d already given you some of their own dumplings (except Xuxi who had kept his to himself with a muffled apology) to you. And besides, you had a promise to keep to the two youngest.

As soon as you spotted the natural lull in conversation, you piped up, “Hey, do you guys want to watch a film tonight?”

Your suggestion was met with a flourish of agreement, only that two faces also fell.

One tried to hide it somewhat valiantly, no doubt to protect you from feeling bad. The other didn’t possess the finesse for this as such, and more-or-less openly sulked at the dining table.

You looked at the two of them. “Ten? Xuxi?”

“SuperM,” Ten remarked, voice monotonous, “meeting on tour dates.”

You let out a small ‘ah’ in understanding. You attempted to look on the brighter side. “There’s always next week…!”

Xuxi nodded sadly, while Ten huffed, earning him a side-eye from Kun.

“In my defence,” he began, holding up a finger to the eldest in a request for him to wait, “they’ve worked out all the dates that don’t clash for us. It’s 127 they’re having trouble with, and the managers there can’t seem to do basic maths, because they’ve confirmed two lots of dates that don’t actually work. It must be driving Taeyong mad over in Korea.”

“Why do you need to be there, then?” Yangyang asked.

“We don’t,” Xuxi emphasised.

Ten sighed. “No, I think we do. Even if we’ve outlined our schedules a hundred times, we still need to be in the room while they set the dates, for legal reasons. It’s just irritating that we have to sit there for hours on end, barely able to do anything to help, and if we do have any suggestions, that a—jerk of a—what is he? A producer? Executive? I don’t even know—he won’t let us speak half the time, because of his strange superiority complex that basically means he won’t allow us to ever speak, the absolute f—”

“Ten.” Kun’s voice was hard as stone, his eyes carved into a warning stare.

He sighed, standing and offering to take the others’ empty bowls and plates. “The point is, this shouldn’t be going on for any longer than it already has, and so tonight won’t be very peaceful, but it’ll be worse if we don’t leave soon.” As he leant over the table to collect your bowl, he whispered, “I’ll be here pretty much all tomorrow though. You?”

You nodded, eyes fallen at the sound of the mess he’d been drawn into. Everyone was so tired, him and Xuxi especially with their extra schedules, and so being dragged through that was only going to stress them out even more. They needed the movie night more than perhaps the others did.

Noticing the downturn in the energy of the room, as well as how crestfallen you appeared to be at his plight, Ten offered you a wink in response. It took a lot of energy to try to slow the tempo of your heart after that.

Xuxi collected the remaining utensils in one hand, giving everyone a big wave with the other. “We will return!” he announced.

“What are you going to do?” Xiaojun enquired. “About the ‘guy’, I mean?”

Ten shrugged, tilting his head to the side melodramatically. “Guess if he tries anything this time, he’ll face the pure wrath of this bad bitch.”

“Ten!” you cried in faux shock, a gasp quilting the air. “What have we said about swearing in front of the child!”

Laughter erupted as everyone synchronously looked at Yangyang, who was sending you an exaggerated scowling pout. “Not cool Y/N! I’m not a child!”

“Oh yes that’s right, you’re not a child, Yangyang,” Kun interjected plainly, leading the table to hush as each person accepted his words as an instruction to quieten.

Except everyone was wrong.

Kun glanced at you with a surprisingly sly smile, and then at Ten, then round the entire table, before looking Yangyang dead in the eye, and uttering the words, “You’re baby.”

A plume of cheers erupted round the room as Hendery shrieked with laughter, Xuxi dropping a spoon out of pure joy, leaving Yangyang to merely accept his fate as burned.

You bid both Ten and Xuxi farewell from your place in the armchair closest to the kitchen, soon enough hearing them slip out of the backdoor and into the night. But you barely caught Kun as he seemed to follow them.

After performing a near-comical double-take, mind ticking and realising that the person who had silently swept through in their wake was Kun, you very nearly leapt into the kitchen, the clunk of a car door slam piercing the darkness as your eyes searched for the leader.

“Kun?”

The man jumped nearly out of his skin, just outside in the cold, halting his motion to shut the door as you poked your head into sight. “Oh, Y/N. Is everything ok?”

You nodded, humming. As you stepped forward, you pulled your shirt further up to your chin to try and retain some heat so as to combat the flurry of new, cold air. “Where are you going?”

His eyes were transfixed upon your face, not that you could make that out in the dim light. All while he could distinguish yours much more clearly, the chalk platter face of the moon granting you a celestial glow from where it rose above the neighbouring buildings. “Oh, giving them a lift, so they don’t have to walk, since it’s so dark out,” he sheepishly apologised, “I should have mentioned it, sorry. But you can start the film without me, I don’t mind!”

“Oh, ok,” you mumbled. You had been about to say you’d make sure everyone waited for him, as you were aware the drive wouldn’t be long, but his words had stopped you in your tracks.

There was no way for him to avoid the dip in the glimmer of your eyes at what he had said, but he couldn’t push his departure any longer. “I’ll see you in a bit, Y/N. I promise I won’t be long.”

You tried to lift your arms in time to request that hug he owed you, but the door had closed before he could have accepted.

You couldn’t help but wallow a little bit in your thoughts for a moment. You’d wanted to have as many people in as possible, as those were always the best times. And you understood you couldn’t have Ten and Xuxi, so why couldn’t you have Kun to make up for it…?

He was helping them, however, and going by how freezing it was out there, you had to acknowledge you would have scolded him for not offering to drive them the pretty long distance to the executive building somewhat on the other side of town. It made you kind of hypocritical, and you couldn’t quite shake that thought off.

At that moment, there was a slosh of water that made your ears prick up, leading you to turn towards the sink.

You hadn’t even noticed Xiaojun there, doing the washing up as he’d been elected to by Kun as he left the table. You felt bad for a bit but it was surprisingly dark in the room, and in your defence, he’d been basically silent the entire time.

“You alright, Y/N?” he enquired, adding more hot water to the bowl.

“I could ask the same about you?” you glanced around the room, looking for the lightswitch. “Has the bulb gone again?”

“No, the light’s fine.”

“Oh, well…” You made your way over to the switch.

“Don’t turn it on,” he announced, tipping his head over his shoulder. The lights from the next room crystalised in his eyes, azure-gold and tracing a diamond upon his cheek. It illuminated the curve of his lips, as he spoke again, quieter this time, “Come here.”

You did what he asked, brushing his shoulder with yours as you came to his side.

You tried to meet his gaze, looking up to his face and drawing across his features, only to get distracted by the shine of his silver hair, tracing down his skin and curling round the shell of his ear so neatly. Plush lips parted as he spoke and you raised your eyes to meet his, only to have him turn away at the last second.

You were left with no choice but to follow where his stare was facing.

“Look, out there,” he whispered, gently placing a plate at the bottom of the bowl.

You peered into the garden, dimly lit by the light from the living room dancing beyond you, the faint silver of the moon, next door’s garden light, and nothing more—the sky starless and as dark and thick as ink. You couldn’t see a single shape, or even determine the colour of the grass, and it disheartened you to have to explain it to Xiaojun, who was clearly much more excited than you were.

“Jun? I can’t see anything,” you murmured, but he hushed you suddenly, leaving you to slam your lips shut, heart pinched.

After a few seconds he spoke again, voice barely above a whisper, “We have to be really quiet. And no sudden movements. She’ll appear very soon, I know she will.”

You frowned, glancing through the dark window, confronted by the hazy grass of the garden meeting the grey tile of the patio, and then your own musty reflection as your eyes switched focus.

You couldn’t see much of Xiaojun in the glass, the shadow engulfing much of his mirrored-self. However, you could see one half of his face, shaded as if through clouds, his crown crudely lit like a halo from the auburn behind.

A sigh very nearly left your lips as you stole another glance at his real face, his brow furrowing while his eyes narrowed into the darkness outside, teeth ever-so-slightly teasing his bottom lip as he peacefully waited.

It wasn’t fair how ethereal he was sometimes.

Suddenly he perked up, eyes widening, and leaning into you as he carefully pointed with a soap-sud painted finger into the black. “Look! There!”

You leant forward on the edge of the counter, eyes desperately scouring the garden until you spotted what he was waiting for.

A small bundle, tapered with jagged edges upon its top, snuffling through the shadows. A moment’s thought, and you finally put an understanding to the creature.

A tiny hedgehog, on the search for food.

As she came closer, you could just about make out the twitching of a nose, while she made a somewhat beeline for the fence on the left hand side of the garden. There you could just about make out a weathered blue pet-bowl, filled with some food of sorts.

“There she is,” Xiaojun sighed, whispering a laugh sheepishly. “I was beginning to worry there for a bit, I’ll be honest.”

A wide smile rose to your face, overtaken by the purity of an animal that small just... shuffling through the cold to find food which had been placed in the back garden—and just for her too.

“Did you…?”

“Yeah, the dog food was me,” he replied. “She only comes when it’s quiet here, which isn’t often but it does happen after dinner, as the others get quiet. That’s why I offer to do the work here, so I can check up on her.”

You couldn’t glance away from the hedgehog, especially when she finally reached the bowl and began to tuck in. Though it was in the shade and it was very hard to see anything besides the bowl by that point, made to stand out against the night by the brightness of its sides.

“She’ll eat it all no doubt, she didn’t come yesterday. Unless she has somewhere else and is just running rings around me,” he chuckled, picking up the plate.

“Why didn’t she turn up?” you asked, wrenching your eyes away to look at Xiaojun again.

The corners of his eyes rose as he wrinkled his nose briefly. “Xuxi’s euphoria last night?”

You stood confused for a second, trying to retrace your memory, until you finally struck gold. “Oh yea! Jungwoo’s message! I think it was everyone’s euphoria to be honest,” you sighed, laughter at how over-the-top-bubbly Xuxi had been at the sight of his groupmate just texting him ‘hello’ dwindling, “I’d been worried sick about him. No matter how many times anyone assured me he was ok, I knew I wouldn’t settle until I heard it from him himself.”

“It’s alright, I understand that. And I’m pretty sure the others do too.”

As your eyes fell, remembering the anxiety you had about his condition, Xiaojun’s finally settled back on you.

“You’re extremely kind Y/N, you almost care too much,” he said, “I know Jungwoo can’t wait to see you again, too.”

You finally met his gaze, letting a small smile rise to your lips as you did so. He was just so beautiful, you couldn’t actually look away even if by some bizarre curse you wanted to.

“Thank you, Junnie.”

“I mean it though, Y/N,” he insisted softly, eyes alight with a sudden certainty, “I worry sometimes you care too much about others, and though we appreciate it very much, I don’t…” His voice faltered, as if he’d spoken too much. “We don’t want you to hurt yourself in the process, and forget to care for yourself. We all love looking after you, but we also don’t want you to be hurt at all, if we can help it. So if something hurts you, let us know immediately, so we can support you… yeah?”

You nodded, swallowing as you felt your throat clench. His words were so kind—too kind. It made your heart wrench. Blinking quickly, you looked back into the garden, spotting the hedgehog making her way back to the hedgerow.

At that moment, a voice rose from the living room. “Y/N! What film do you want to watch?”

Somewhat grateful for the distraction, you felt the urge to cry dissipate as you took another glance at Xiaojun. He hadn’t looked away from you this time, it seemed, but you didn’t focus upon that for your own sanity. “I’d better go,” you said, “thank you for showing me the hedgehog. She’s really cute, I’m glad you feed her.”

“No problem, I’ll let you do it tomorrow, if you have time and would like to?”

“That sounds great!” You sent him a grin, covering any sadness you had felt a few moments before. Laying your hand on his shoulder for a second before you passed as a small farewell, you made your way to the living room to go help Yangyang.

As you reached the archway though, you turned back around to ask one more thing, the thought suddenly preoccupying you to a stop. “Oh, Xiaojun?”

“Yes?” He finished washing a plate and placed it on the draining board, peering over his shoulder at you once again.

“Does she have a name? The hedgehog?”

In the shadows of the kitchen, you thought you saw him falter, his lip waver in an attempt to formulate a sound, a shape, a word. Brash to the silence, you heard a stutter in his answer.

“Actually, no, I didn’t think... I just call her ‘hedgehog’.”

You spluttered at his seeming inhumanity. How could he possibly not name the poor little thing?

Your disappointment in him was obvious too, and so he hastily added, “Maybe you could come up with one?”

You reasoned with the suggestion, but it didn’t take long before you responded happily with a nod. “I’ll see what I can come up with. See you in a bit!”

After you left the room, however, he let out a sigh of relief.

He was glad you��d fallen for that excuse, especially since it was so far from the truth. The first thing that he had done, once he realised the hedgehog was a regular, was give her a name. And since she was adorable, with her little nose and love for food, he decided to name her after the first adorable thing he thought of.

He hadn’t foreseen the issue that would occur if he showed her to the person of which he’d secretly named the hedgehog after.

You spun round the door-frame, willing your thoughts to clear and dissipate. You clapped your hands against your cheeks to try and cool them from the raging pink they had flushed from your previous conversation. Being so close to him had hit a nerve within you somewhere, though what it was, you couldn’t quite comprehend.

As you passed through, Hendery slipped round the other corner and collided into you.

His sudden appearance made you jump, a rather pathetic yelp uttered past your lips as you quickly found yourself losing your balance after an effort to haphazardly make distance between the sudden newcomer.

Luckily for you, Hendery’s reactions were faster than your falling. He grasped your shoulder firmly, though in such a manner it made you wonder if he wanted to touch you at all—you were at arm's length, his fingers fanned out to rest upon your shoulder blades, his touch barely there, yet very much present.

You were quick to slot back onto your feet as you staggered to accommodate for his reflex. Only to push yourself further into his arms. You felt as if your luck couldn’t get any worse, face burning up once again as you almost butted Hendery’s head with your own. It was almost as if you were in some cliche skit where you had temporarily become a hapless staggering damsel for the day, and you weren’t going to have that for any longer.

You freed yourself from the sudden proximity with Hendery, refusing to make eye contact as you moved from staring at his exposed collarbone and instead the floor as you rooted yourself to it, folding your arms and huffing.

He watched you attempt to reclaim your pride, exhaling in relief as you seemed to grow in confidence once again. He had to admit, he understood well that you’d had a bad day, but he couldn’t help but find it odd how flushed your soft cheeks were and how on edge you appeared.

Meanwhile, his face had been a picture, lips pursed into an ‘o’ of moderate horror as he’d almost knocked you to the ground, which then spread into a wide smile as he giggled sheepishly. His eyes were clear as glass, dark and glinting and rueful, as you finally worked up the courage to meet them again.

“Sorry Y/N!” he said, mischief lacing his words.

You scoffed, staring him down, though feeling more of a rush flood through your chest. “Y-yeah, you will be!”

He laughed at your response, quickly dropping the issue entirely. You were grateful for that, you didn’t want to admit that he’d spooked that much. “We need to choose a film, so… what one do you want to watch?”

“I don’t…” you shrugged, “I don’t really know.”

You were glad that you didn’t need to look at him now that he had shifted to your side. You could feel his stare on you however, and it made you want to shiver.

He nodded, interlinking his arm with yours. “Shall we go have a look, my lady?”

Before you could let any words slip through your lips in bemused amusement, he pulled himself closer to you, arm interlocking with yours, and then led you through to the corridor with the shelves stacked with movies.

Slipping through the archway, thanking any deities that were listening that there was no reason for Hendery to be able to hear the heightened tempo of your heart, you found Yangyang already there. He was squinting up at the top row as you reached the rack, fingers running across each box like a small child reading the letters of their first book.

Hendery extended his free arm towards the shelving, bowing his head, “Your moving pictures, my lady.”

You snorted, taking in the sight of the stockpile of films. He was always so extra. In fact, it made it hard for you to focus upon the selection, barely registering the fonts of the titles and colours of the boxes, as you were hit by a sudden spring of sentimentality.

They’d been ordered alphabetically by title, and you remember the day starkly that you’d sat down with Xuxi to organise them.

He wouldn’t have been your first choice to help order things, since his attention span normally lasted around that of a cocker spaniel with a new toy, but he’d been the only one in the house at the time, and he was the only one tall enough to reach the very top shelf regardless (you still didn’t understand why that top shelf had been installed and even being used, because if Xuxi wasn’t around—which did occur often due to his new schedules—then it was a real safety hazard to get a film down from there, seeing that no one else in the group managed to grow anywhere near 6″).

On this occasion though, he’d been uncharacteristically focused, listening to your instructions carefully, his dazzling grin a sight to behold as he had cocked his head to one side whilst he thought—you could have seen the letters wafting across his thoughts as he counted them. He’d been very calm and rational, as if the bounce had been temporarily quelled, and he’d made jokes about how short everyone else was only a couple of times, too.

In fact, he’d been a very big help, and the afternoon had also proved useful in the sense that you weren’t the only one with a better idea of where all the movies were. Even if they were organised well, the two of you could still find them faster than the others usually could, simply due to the fact you could remember where you’d placed them on the shelves in the first place.

Kun had been extremely happy with the end result as well, which was always a bonus. Meanwhile Ten still didn’t believe you’d managed to get Xuxi to sit down and do it with you. You didn’t blame his disbelief. You could barely believe it yourself. But there he had been, clear as day, settling himself on the carpet without you even inclining to ask him to.

However, you did admonish the system you’d used now though. Perhaps taking the extra time to organise them into genres would have been better, as after all, you rarely knew a specific movie you wanted to watch.

You suddenly became very aware of Hendery’s presence. He’d inched forwards, his lips pursing out of the corner of your eye as he narrowed his sights on the possibilities for the night.

His movement had snapped you out of your thoughts, though it took a lot of effort to avoid getting caught upon the sight of his lips, beautifully curved and the perfect shade of rose—

You forced yourself to scour your eyes over the titles, eventually straightening to join Yangyang in peering up at the very top row, where the box-sets were kept.

“Whatcha looking at?” you asked Yangyang, a giggle thinly veiled. His thoughtful little frown was adorable, and it was clear he was thinking very hard about something.

“Did we watch the final part of The Lord of the Rings?” he answered.

You and Hendery both nodded.

“Oh... well there goes that suggestion then.” He shifted down from tiptoe and came to lean against the table beside the shelving, sending you a sweet smile. “Y/N, what type of movie would you like?”

Eased, you sent him a quick smile before glancing down at the films at the lower rungs. “I’m not sure, really. Nothing too heavy, and nothing that will make me cry.”

He hummed. “So, a comedy then?”

Hendery’s eyes went wide, a look of genuine fear playing on his features. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

“Why not?”

“Our senses of humour in this house, when it comes to films can…” he paused, silk voice tentative, “…vary, a lot.”

You nodded in agreement. “Remember what happened over that Robin Hood film?” You shook your head very firmly. “Bad times, my dudes.”

Yangyang cocked his head to one side in thought, frowning at seemingly nothing. “Fair enough…” Suddenly, he perked up, showing a grin you knew well. “I’ve had an idea. What if we watch a really bad movie, one that’s so bad, it’s actually kind of good?”

You clicked your fingers, before shooting him finger-guns, “Now that is a good idea!”

The three of you turned towards the mountain of films. It wasn’t long before your attention was drawn from them once again, as Hendery gently lent upon your shoulder, letting his fingers just brush the jumper at your shoulder. Once again you were convinced he wasn’t perhaps focused on the films.

“Ok… bad… films…” Yangyang murmured, pulling out a blue box to read its description on the back. You didn’t even gather what he’d picked out, as your eyes had been drawn back to Hendery’s as if magnetised.

As it turned out, he was a lot closer than you had previously thought. This time, it was his eyes that formulated the centre of gravity, and you immediately found yourself held in them, glistening mahogany so dark the tints stowed away in the shadows of the curtains of his fringe.

You sent him a smile, awkward and most likely faltering out of no reason other than mild shock at just how well poised his features could be, enquiring with a stutter, “Do you have any ideas?”

He smushed his lips together, as he usually did when he was thinking, something of which that always made your heart simper, and let his eyes wander away from you and up to the penultimate top shelf.

“’Azure Shadow’?” he said, reaching up and grabbing the box, his arm shifting lending his hand to consequently rest around the curve of your shoulder, fingers grasping ever so tenderly as if you were an artifact he wasn’t supposed to touch. You couldn’t help but freeze up at it, all while he didn’t even seem to notice, his voice as clear as a cloudless, spring day sky. “I heard it was pretty bad—hey The CP Times gave it 4 stars!”

Yangyang pointed victoriously, as he quickly realised a point he’d made long ago was now finally proven. “See! I told you guys you should never trust the CP Times!”

You were grateful for his interruption, as it drew potential attention away from you, stuck in your emotionally stumbling mess. You felt his grip tighten lightly, fingertips rubbing ever so slightly against your shoulder blade as laughter seeped into Hendery’s voice. “What? What problem do you have with the CP Times? I…?”

“Oh come off it, Hendery, you know! That awful article they posted about—!”

“Oh…! I see where your allegiances lie, Yangyang the Traitor!”

“I—what does that mean?!”

“They published a lovely one about my favourite—”

The hand finally left you, your shoulder falling into the grips of a surprising cold, but your mind began to pull itself finally out of its trance.

“And? They were horrible to mine!”

“They didn’t mention her though!”

To be frank, you had no clue what their little squabble was about, and it didn’t help that they kept interrupting one another. You shivered as you regained your sensibility, tiptoeing forward to urge yourself to enter the fray.

“Exactly!”

“She was on hiatus at the time!” Hendery countered, eyes bright in contrast to Yangyang’s wilder ones. “You’re just too in love with her, that’s what.”

Yangyang had no words for that. His mouth hung open like a guppy fish, as he scrambled for something to retort back. But he was panicked, and it showed on his face, as colour seemed to simultaneously drain from it but also rush to his cheeks.

“I am not in love with her?!” Yangyang was scowling, his voice jagged and incredulous and harsh. You winced at the unexpected sound, leading his eyes to quickly flicker to you. Any strength that had once been in them vanished before your own, as all fighting energy left his body limper. His voice was much quieter as he echoed himself, glancing away from you and staring at the floor instead, “I am not in love with her…”

All the while Hendery just laughed it off, as if everything that had just happened had been a ruse to rile the youngest up all along. “Yeah, yeah, of course. I got you.”

You decided it would be wise to intervene before their bickering ended in a tussle again.

“Well… maybe this film isn’t bad enough,” you remarked, earning a nod from Hendery and leading him to put it back on the shelf.

Yangyang remained silent for a while, even as Hendery suggested some other movies. His gaze was uncharacteristically vacant, while his presence had grown rather small.

You wanted to go over to him, to make sure he was ok, but there were many contradicting messages going on in the room, and you couldn’t really tell if it was that serious or not. One was behaving as if it was, the other as if it was not. Besides, Yangyang was neither super cuddly nor super solitary, so it was more of a case by case thing as to whether he wanted attention to help him calm down and cheer up or not.

“What about ‘The Man of Blade’?” he measured suddenly out of the blue, scoffing weakly as he retrieved it, “this one doesn’t even show its ratings, it must be awful!”

You skipped over to him, now given an inclination that he wanted to socialise. You really didn’t want to leave him, even if you didn’t know what the hell had just happened. And so you took hearing him talk as an invitation for you.

Placing your hand on his shoulder, you ducked your head in carefully. You wanted to see the description, but you also wanted to offer him some comfort, thus your cheek just barely brushed the cloth of his hoodie.

You had expected Yangyang to read it out, but feeling him shift his weight, perhaps just to accommodate for you, but you expected it was more out of sudden nerves, so you decided to take the role up instead.

As you cleared your throat in order to begin reading it dramatically to keep Hendery on side, Yangyang turned the box at an angle so you could read it better. You snuck a glimpse at him, to find a smile already filtering back onto his face. The signs of there being no lasting impact boosted your confidence as you found courage in reaching success.

“’A man makes a wish to a genie’,” you began, the corners of your mouth twitching already as you attempted to keep your tone serious, “‘to become the most powerful man to ever live so he could face God in a one-to-one’ battle to the death—”

“I’m sorry what?” Yangyang was back in business, ripples of his laughter seeping through his chest to where you could feel it, lending you further chance to rest your head fully against his shoulder.

All the while Hendery merely laughed.

You tried to hold it together. “—a-and restore not only his pride but his… his…”

“Oh no, what?”

Laughter bubbled in your throat as you forced the final sentence from your lips. “His valiant steed’s honour—yo, what the actual—?!”

Yangyang cackled as he began hastily opening the box. “It’s decided! We’re watching ‘The Man of Blade’! And we can all suffer together!”

Hendery snickered, shaking his head. “I’m sorry, but why the hell is that even here?! Who bought it?”

“It must be a present?” you insisted. “Surely! No one in this house would buy this in their right mind otherwise—”

“I bought it.”

Three heads simultaneously whipped in the direction of the living room.

There, standing in the archway, was Sicheng.

A moment of silence passed as the three of you stared at him, mouths agape and words lost, until you exclaimed, in more fear than you had perhaps originally anticipated, “Chengie, no!”

“Look,” he projected, before the other two could add to the confusion, “it was supposed to be dumb gift for Ten, something that I could hide his actual present behind, and so I decided to hide it plain sight until his birthday.”

A chorus arose. “Ohhh.”

“But, does that mean we can’t use it then?” Hendery questioned.

“Oh, yeah, damn,” Yangyang said, closing the box, “it’s ok Sicheng, we’ll put it back.”

“Actually,” you began, eyes flickering from each man, and finally resting on the box, “Ten isn’t here, so as long as no one tells…”

“We can still watch it!” Hendery finished, clapping his hands and motioning for the box. “Let’s start it up, I want to see the menu page!”

As the two fought over who got to put the disc in the player, their squabbling much more harmless this time, you made a mental note to ask someone about the debacle later, turning your attention currently to Sicheng instead.

His eyes, dark caramel and hidden from the light, were down-turned and avoiding your gaze. They seemed to graze across your cheeks instead, flickering up to your own only occasionally.

You offered him a smile, small and soft, and then walked over to him. “Hey, thanks for the film! It sounds perfect for tonight.”

“It’s no problem, I’m curious to watch it too,” he grinned back, before easing you out of the way of the two bundles of energy that bounded through into the living room, “I really hope it’s as bad as it sounds.”

“Oh it’s got to be!” you assured, feeling warmth settle back into your system, slowly, but surely, as you laughed. Relief felt good after all. “Come on, Chengie, help me get some snacks?”

“Of course.” He stepped backwards, letting you past to lead the way.

Back in the kitchen, you began to scavenge for all the food you could find, layering Sicheng’s arms with bags upon bags of snacks. You weren’t exactly paying attention to the number you’d piled, however, until you swung all the cupboards closed and aimed to place a final packet on top, only to find that you’d crafted a tiny mountain, and Sicheng’s face was practically completely obscured by its silhouette.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry Chengie, I didn’t notice how much…”

“It’s alright,” he answered brightly, peeking carefully round the precarious pile, “I got it!”

His smile was glimmeringly bright, and you couldn’t help but be stunned by it, since a bright smile like that wasn’t exactly common for him, even in the dorms. He stepped forward carefully to request the final snack be crowned upon the summit above his eyeline, and with caution, you obliged, balancing it on top as best you could.

“Now all we have to do is get you into the living room without dropping them—are you sure you don’t want me to take half? It’s not hard at all for me to do so…!”

He turned so he could see you. “It’s ok, you’re already doing too much by organising this. I can carry a pile of snacks, don't worry! Just… warn me if I get too close to an obstacle.”

You nodded, peering over his shoulder to see his way. “I can try and do that. I can promise I can help you avoid a chair, but I must warn you Sicheng, I can’t guarantee I can help you avoid other ones such as Hendery and Yangyang.”

You heard a laugh from behind the snack pillar, and felt your heart leap with pride as a response. It wasn’t that Sicheng was boring—no, far from it—it was just he wasn’t on the verge of being a giggling mess all the time like the others were. You’d guessed it came with maturity. Then you remembered how much of a dork some of the older members could be in general, and then admitted to yourself that you had to more or less discount that theory.

“Moving obstacles are always the worst,” he agreed, shifting his hands slowly to keep a firmer grasp on the mountain as he turned to make his way back into the living room. “But I appreciate your effort nonetheless. You ready?”

You hummed in affirmation, and the two of you began your careful trundle into the living room.

With snacks arranged on the coffee table, you slumped on the sofa, taking care to mind your feet as you went—you didn’t want to knock all your hard work on the carpet, as then you would have to vacuum it all up and unless you had someone to make the pain more bearable, it wasn’t fun in the slightest.

You watched as Hendery emerged victorious over the disc and scampered over to the TV, fiddling with the DVD player.

Yangyang, pouting from the sidelines, perked up once he realised that he now had a crucial advantage.

He bounded over to you, barely choosing a side and instead practically flung himself onto the sofa too. He threw his arms open to encase you as he went, and once his back hit the cushions, he pulled you into him.

Shrieking in surprise and glee, you shuffled yourself round so you could rest your head more comfortably on his chest.

“There,” he murmured proudly, a hand coming to pat your hair softly, “comfy?”

“Very.” Your voice was muffled against his hoodie.

Hendery glanced back over his shoulder at the sight, and hurried himself. You couldn’t see, and even if you could have, you wouldn’t have been able to notice the brief pang that hit Hendery’s heart at the sight of you snuggled closely into his warmth.

You would have been able to witness Yangyang’s smirk that he sent him as he began to make his way over.

All of this knowledge of course was obsolete to you, as you could see nothing at all, enveloped in warmth and seeing nothing but darkness with your eyes closed, your ear pressed against Yangyang’s heart.

Its beat was wild.

Sicheng meanwhile took a seat where he had been previously, spinning the chair around so he would be able to see the screen.

You heard it creak and peaked out from beneath Yangyang’s arms to catch a glimpse of him.

“Hey,” you called softly, causing him to swivel a bit further round to see you, “you sure you don’t want to come sit over here? It’s comfier than that desk chair.”

“But it is a spinny ch—” You hushed Yangyang before he could finish.

Sicheng smiled, the dim in his eyes growing as he shook his head. “No, it’s ok, I’m good here.”

“You sure?” You couldn’t deny it to yourself: you really did want him to sit over there with you. You didn’t know why, or what you wanted to do with him had he come over when you beckoned, because he wouldn’t have been comfortably with you draped over him in any shape or form, which you respected, but you also wanted to touch him in some way. You hated seeing that grey hue in his eyes that forced him to turn them away from you, you reasoned.

There was probably something more to it all too, but as per usual, your ramblings were interrupted by his response.

It was a nod, and the very gradual spin of his chair as he pushed himself back to face the TV subtly.

You tried not to take it personally, but you couldn’t hide the falter in your smile. It was hard to get all your feelings together sometimes after all.

Yangyang couldn’t quite see it at his angle, but Hendery could, and it led to him pouting at you as he waddled over.

“Y/N?” His voice was soft, as if he didn’t want the others to hear. You were thankful for that, if it was the case, as it wasn't that big of an issue, and you didn’t want to worry anyone else.

“I’m ok, don’t worry!” you declared. “Just tired, is all.”

Your response had been too fast, and it was just your luck that of course both Hendery and now Yangyang had noticed. You cursed your accidental volume, sending them both an eye roll as you played it down.

“It’s been a real long day, but you guys worry too much,” you jested, poking the arm beside your head.

You received a little huff from above you in a wordless reply, whilst Hendery quickly settled down beside you, inclining into your sloped body as he held your hand tightly, fingers laced with your own. They were a little clammy but then again so were yours, and you never cared.

‘Attention whore,’ you thought to yourself, a chuckle seeping into reality. Yangyang frowned at the random burst of humour, since no one had done anything as you did. He wondered what was going in your head. It was a merciless thing to chase, since no one would know, and he’d never really understand—that’s kind of how brains worked after all—but he loved hearing what you had to say about everything. He shifted his weight to bring you just a little bit closer, as if it would make a difference, let him understand why you were laughing.

He didn’t have long to consider much at all, with the film menu loading up and sending everyone in the room into a bout of horrified laughter.

“What even is that?!” Yangyang yelled above you.

“That, dear Yangyang, is an actual, colourised depiction of hell,” you countered, lips twisted in terror as you sat up instinctively. Yangyang too was tense—it was as if the atrocity had immediately set off fight-or-flight responses of every single person in the room.

Hendery flicked his head over to you. “In the shape of a horse?!”

“It’s never going to leave my head,” Sicheng murmured. “There it is. Emblazoned into the insides of my skull. Behind my eyes. I’ll never escape it. Set me free from this torment—”

“What’s going on?”

Xiaojun had come through from the kitchen, drying his hands on a tea towel and striding through into the living room as if he’d been summoned.

Everyone silently and simultaneously pointed at the TV, depicting the single-shot menu screen of an abominable CGI horse crowding the entire screen.

“I don’t—mother of sweet jesus—”

“I know right?” Yangyang exclaimed. “It’s horrifying. I hate it!”

“It’s actually cursed,” Xiaojun stated, unable to draw his eyes away from the savagery of art he’d been presented with. His mouth was agape as he leant on his hands, placed on the back of the sofa. “Obscene!”

Winwin’s voice was still low, but you could just about hear it over the whoops and cries of the others; “My sleep paralysis demon.”

“Is this what we’re watching?” Xiaojun asked, deep eyes wide and begging for the answer to be any cognate of ‘no’.

“Yep.”

He turned to look down to you, his expression torn in misery. “This crime to humanity?”

“One hundred percent.”

Xiaojun stared at the screen, eyes alight with the tacky flames of the anathema displayed before him. Eventually he snapped out of his cursed gaze and headed back into the kitchen. “Dear lord—don’t start without me!”

As the laughter died down, you settled back into Yangyang’s embrace, ushering Hendery to come closer too so you could have him near too.

He looked over to you, feeling the tug on his hand. With only a momentary pause to check if you were sure, he flopped down onto your stomach, exhaling happily with an arm stretched.

“You feel happier now, right Y/N?” Yangyang suddenly asked, voice low, and just below a whisper.

You were surprised, but nodded nonetheless. “Yeah, I’m feeling much better than I did before. Don’t worry.”

“Are you sure?” He cleared his throat, shifting his balance to support the extra wait Hendery brought to the table. “You’re certain we don’t need to enact special measures?”

You frowned, tilting your head up to come to look at his jaw, as he quickly looked back up to somewhere else in the room—or at least, anywhere besides the TV, for clearly very rational reasons. Bemusedly, you asked about his supposed ‘special measures’, but won little response. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, before he glanced down at you, eyes flickering across each paradigm of your face with his lips pressed plush as he thought.

He parted them eventually, ebbing with air and possible words, until you felt the rise of his chest as he inhaled and readied himself to speak.

Only then did Xiaojun enter the room and take the final spot at the end of the sofa, patting Hendery’s legs to get them to move.

“Ok, I’m back, we can start now!” he announced.

The ball of conversation was knocked from its ledge and rolled in a different direction to what you’d hoped.

“Who has the remotes?” Hendery piped up, feet repositioned but this time on top of Xiaojun’s legs. The elder of the two wasn't impressed by it all though, and instead shoved them off by flicking his toes.

“I do,” Sicheng replied, already frowning at the buttons. “Can someone get the lights?”

“Sure.”

Yangyang stretched up behind him, hand awkwardly sliding up the wall as he sought for the switch. Eventually his fingers struck gold, and the room snapped dark.

And then the menu finally disappeared as the horror of a film began.

And by no surprises, it was utter garbage.

But it lived up to expectations in that sense, and it was thus absolutely hilarious.

You’d spent the first hour shrieking with laughter, and then you proceeded to tear each scene and every piece of dialogue apart as a five-piece.

The entire film was in itself a curse, a sin, blasphemous.

Hendery was slapping criticism on the plot left, right and centre to the point it made you wonder why he was here at all and not a movie critic. Meanwhile, Xiaojun just snorted at everything he said.

The two had come to an unspoken truce, after squabbling over where Hendery could put his feet. They were now situated on Xiaojun’s thighs, and swinging every now and again, especially when the owner got particularly pent up and passionate about a piece of dialogue or plot hole.

You felt your heart burn at how adorable it was, though also suffered the pain of the jerks that Hendery made every time he had the sole of his feet poked or tickled, which Xiaojun seemed to enjoy doing too much.

You stroked Hendery’s hair gently, lightly pressing his fringe out of his eyes where his head rested on your stomach, whilst you peered around to Sicheng to check if he was alright, having not heard a peep from him in half an hour or so.

What you found was borderline horrifying. He was completely engrossed in the movie, with a grin plastered on his face as the lights of the terrible CGI glowed in his irises and fashioned him into a cult leader in a fantasy movie, watching something demonic burn.

You hushed a chuckle behind your hand, as you leant back to turn your attention to Yangyang.

He’d been the forerunner of the jokes, cackling at every little thing and turning it into pure comedy gold for the rest of the people in the room, which you were very grateful for. The movie would have been brain-soup without him.

He’d re-positioned himself slightly so you were higher up on his body, head much closer to be of an equal height to his. This way you could press your temple against his cheek, if you wanted.

However, it was him that had his head nuzzled against you, his cheek resting in your hair.

He eventually quietened down as he grew more drowsy, instead taking in the scent of you, sweet and calming. It only lulled him into more peace.

With you in his arms he felt complete, in a way. As if he had a duty of sorts and when you were there he was completing it. Not that he’d ever tell you as such.

But he wasn’t sure what this meant to him, and he didn’t want to think about it too much.

A part of him deep down knew that it would cause some pain, somewhere along the line. And so he didn’t spare those thoughts the chance.

However, he couldn’t still the beating of his heart whenever you moved against him, whenever you looked at him and smiled.

As the credits rolled, there were several sighs of relief, but otherwise it was complete utter silence as the room tried to comprehend what abomination you’d just witnessed.

You glanced over at everyone to see if they were just as confused as you were. Seeing you were in firm company in your bemusement, you announced, “The Oscars are clearly rigged for this not to win.”

Yangyang snorted. “Of course!”

“Best film ever! Y/N couldn’t make a better one even if she tried.”

Xiaojun flicked Hendery’s toe for that one.

“Oh of course, honey.” You leant over slightly, arms gently squeezing the boy in your lap, giving him a squeeze. “And you couldn’t make a worse one.”

Hendery seemed to take it as more of a compliment as he grinned, nose scrunching as he headbutted you softly.

You tickled his sides briefly, seeking joy in the squeal that it earnt you, and let Xiaojun take the fall as he got kicked in the arm. You sent him an apologetic pout, not that you deep down meant it wholeheartedly.

“Ow! Y/N!” he exaggerated, “And to think I defended you!”

“Karma,” you responded simply, much to his chagrin.

“For what?!”

“For all the headbutts I got in the stomach?” you asserted

Xiaojun shrugged, admitting his faults and hence, defeat. “Yeah, that’s fair—”

It was Sicheng that interrupted. “Oh.”

His voice was disappointed, and where his melancholy suddenly procured from confused you, since you couldn’t see any possible origin anywhere. Had someone done something? Said something to dismiss him? More likely ignored him. You hoped for the others’ sake they hadn’t. He’d been so sunny during the movie.

You looked over to him, trying to veil your concern in its entirety, but still show care. “Chengie?”

“The time,” he said, holding up his phone.

It was nearly midnight.

“How long was the movie?” Yangyang exclaimed.

Sicheng answered, “Longer than you’d expect.”

“Well over two hours?” Xiaojun suggested. “But that time included the credits.”

“Haven’t you guys got to be up like, stupid-early tomorrow?” you asked, voice timid, fearing the ‘yes’ that you knew would follow.

A moan of irritation ricocheted across the room.

Xiaojun confirmed it for you. “Yeah, we do.”

“I don’t want to go…” Yangyang whined.

“I’m sorry but you gotta,” you encouraged sadly, “you need sleep.”

“And so do you,” Hendery added, kicking his legs off the sofa and stretching as he stood.

It was your day off tomorrow, though you couldn’t deny you were pretty tired. You decided not to protest. “I guess so.”

“Yeah, come on, otherwise Kun will be mad at us,” Xiaojun chuckled, “not sending you to bed at a responsible time, you know.”

You snickered, slowly shifting yourself out of Yangyang’s arms.

His hands seemed resistant to the idea, catching on your shirt as you moved away.

Eventually though, he was freed from any of the ‘constraints’ he had—and thus all of his possible excuses as to why he wouldn’t head upstairs too—and was ordered by you to head to his room. “Come on, Yangyang. You gotta go.”

He pouted at you, in a last bid attempt to get you to have mercy and stay just a bit longer.

“I’m sorry sweetheart, but I can withstand even the strongest Xuxi pout,” you explained. From behind you heard someone, the identity of which you could not tell, whisper that that was a lie, but you ignored it and continued, “I’m sorry, but you’ve still got some training to do before you can win me over like that,”

“Yeah, ok, I’m going,” Yangyang reluctantly nodded his head, mumbling, “Worth a try…”

Hendery followed second, waving to you as he went with that Prince Charming smile almost knocking you off-guard again. It hadn’t, but of course something else was going to succeed in its stead. That ‘something’ took the form of Xiaojun, bidding you goodnight with a chaste kiss on your cheek. You were startled to say the least, it had been so brief, but felt like it had also lasted for minutes. His lips were warm, soft, but you hadn't been able to hold onto much tangibility to them, as no sooner had they met your skin, they were whisked away again. Like the touch of a spirit, afraid of the rapidly rising sun. It seemed no one else noticed due to the darkness of the living room and the fact that most of them were already halfway up the stairs or gone.

You remained in the living room a bit after they went, pretending that you needed to stretch on the sofa for a bit before getting up. It was a lie, though, and you knew that well, and you felt your fingers tracing over the curves of the invisible imprint he’d left there.

“You need to head up too.”

Sicheng’s voice was light and airy, like the shadows had engulfed it. You barely heard him, but he made you jump nonetheless. With one hand at your kiss-embroidered cheek, you threw one down to your chest where you wished the weight of your hand would somehow slow the sudden spike in your heart rate.

“I know,” you assured just as quietly, “I’m just… taking my time.”

You could just about trace the lines of his smile in the dim light after he turned the TV off. His presence was faint, but what you could feel was warm and gentle.

He whispered something that this time you didn’t catch. But you felt the tethered urge to know what it was.

“Sicheng?”

“Don’t worry.”

You swallowed, knowing that you weren’t going to get it out of him, much to your disappointment. He had just said what sounded like a collection of random syllables, but together they had carried something heavy, something with depth, something that had been patient for quite a time.

He sighed, getting to his feet. You heard the crinkling of wrappers and the clatter of bowls as he began to tidy up.

“Here, I’ll help,” you began.

But as you sat up, you felt a hand press firmly against your shoulder.

“There’s no need, it’s ok.”

You frowned into the dark. He wasn’t looking at you, which was why his voice sounded distant. You could make out his silhouette, broad and proportioned as if he was drawn. He was like an artist's unknown creation, stood in the background of their studio, overlooked by many but appreciated much more than any by the few that knew him.

You worked up the courage to enquire about the occurrences earlier. “Why wouldn’t you come over and sit with us? Like, during the movie or before.” Feeling intrusive, you hurriedly added: “I mean, I don’t mind of course, just… you know?”

That caused him to look at you, dead in the eye, but he remained silent for the longest time.

You reasoned that maybe this was why he never made eye contact with you. Because when he did, it was like he was peering much deeper than just your eyes. His stare was the definition of eyes being the gateways to the soul. You briefly considered if this one worked both ways when he finally replied, eyes dipping away once again.

“I didn’t want to get in your way,” he cleared his throat, scooping up an unopened snack bag under an arm, “besides, you were already quite busy with the others, so… I didn’t want to overwhelm you with anything more.”

Your features softened at his words, a pang in your heart. “I appreciate that, Chengie. But please remember that you won’t overwhelm me or get in my way. I like hanging out with you just as much as the others.”

You could make out the smile on his face, small and sweet, before he ushered himself away towards the kitchen. “You need to head to bed, Y/N, you need some sleep.”

He was right, but you were convinced you weren’t going to leave until you got one thing. If you'd calculated everything right, he wouldn’t have a problem. In fact, it may just be what he specifically wanted.

You headed to the entrance into the kitchen and waited for Sicheng to come back. Upon his return, he almost bumped into you, but caught himself just in time.

Your eyes met in the darkness, lit by the streetlamp from outside the window far behind you. His hair glimmered with the golden haze, crowning him surreptitiously, as he wordlessly questioned why you were there.

“I know, I’m heading up I promise,” you answered for him. “But… I just... can I have a hug first? Please?”

With his lips pressed into a small ‘o’, he looked shocked by your request to say the least. You worried for a moment that you’d misjudged, and was asking for too much of him.

Before you could backtrack and hurriedly explain that it didn’t matter if he said no, you’d be fine and wouldn’t think any different of him, that delicately crafted yet stoic face melted right before your eyes into the softest smile you could have imagined. “Of course.”

The silhouettes of his hands rose in the dark, barely touching your body as he brushed them along the slopes of your shoulders. He was gentle, but they moved with a certain affirmity, as if they took a mind of their own, following an old familiar road throughout their long-left hometown.

You found your own fingers gracing his collarbones, before shifting up, your arms coming flush against his bare, smooth neck, and finally interlocking gradually behind him. Sicheng meanwhile rounded the curves of your upper arms, eventually spiralling around to make the jump to your waist, where they wasted no time in nestling into the nook of your lower back.

He held you delicately, but firmly against him. It was reassuring, despite the lack of time you spent there pressed into his warmth, as you felt your breath slow, and your eyes close.

He felt so… tender? Vulnerable? It felt like he really meant whatever he was trying to convey through his actions. You just felt at such a loss because you couldn’t figure out what it was.

As his head came to a gentle rest against yours, his hands secure at the small of your back tightening as if instinctively, it occurred to you awfully suddenly.

It was if he was hugging you like he was never going to get the chance to do so again.

Once you’d reached your room, you’d breathed a sigh heavy with a boiling froth of emotions.

In a cruel sense of irony, chasing after comfort had only succeeded for so long, as you were drawn back into the realms of stress once again.

It was of course something you could handle, you imagined at least—you’d gotten through the day of hell, you imagined you could handle a cornucopia of thoughts. Though you had to admit to yourself that there was a lot of string to unravel.

You couldn’t help but remember the thrum of your heart as Sicheng had placed his thumb against the cusp of your jaw while he gradually pulled himself away, encouraging you to go to bed. His palm had barely touched your neck, the contact was so brief it felt like the breath of a ghost, but you had found yourself barely able to use your lungs regardless.

For a brief moment there had been a light in his eyes, that despite the dark shone so brightly. And then he’d pulled himself away, and that grey from prior had returned, like clouds pushed by a November gale.

What did it mean?

Oh please. You knew, didn’t you? Deep down the understanding was there, not that you could perhaps believe it.

What you were rather dealing with was the question of what it meant to you.

You decided to watch Youtube for a while to calm yourself down a bit after… whatever had just happened, and consequently ended up staying up long enough for the others to return.

The sound of the door opening and the joyous cacophony of Xuxi’s laughter—instantly answered with incessant hushing from not just Ten but also synonymously Kun—reminded you of one of the no doubt many reasons why you were unable to settle.

Kun had promised to return quickly, but he had been gone all night.

You wanted to ask about it, desperately. However, this coincided with the fact it was very late indeed. And how comfortable you were in bed. But it was also going to drive you crazy all night if you didn’t find out why. Kun was a man of his word. He would never just… break a promise like that. Would he?

After a few minutes, once Ten and Xuxi had retired to their rooms, your disgruntled prayers were answered as Kun knocked on your door, face peaking through the gap.

You stared up at him, eyes big and expectant with your lips pursed. He had explaining to do after all. It appeared he was aware of this fact too, with guilt written over his face.

“Hey, Y/N, I’m sorry,” he began, “can I come in?”

You pretended to think about it for a few moments, even though you both knew the answer. He waited though, and it was only when you gave him a ‘yes’ did he come inside.

He sidled over to your bed, eyes sweeping the shapes formed by your bed covers, to make sure that when he eventually perched on the side, he didn’t accidentally sit on your feet interlocked beneath the blankets.

“I’m sorry, I promised I would come back but the other two swore it wouldn’t be long, and it would be more rational to stay,” he explained, “but then it took longer than they thought, but I couldn’t risk coming home only to then head out again and… I don’t know why I listened to Xuxi about it to be honest, it’s not an overly rational thing to do.”

“Did he pout at you?”

“No! I am above falling to such… charms…”

“Sure you are.” You arched an eyebrow. “Did Ten tell you to stay?”

He nodded, his eyes surprisingly big. He wasn’t really one to pull the ‘kicked-puppy’ image to try and gain mercy, but here he was.

“Well, I’ll let you off then,” you let the faux scowl fall from your face and giggled instead, “we know how persuasive he can be.”

Kun paused, eyes flitting to yours. “So you’re not mad?”

You scoffed. “Kun, I wasn’t even that mad to begin with, I promise! I can’t be mad at you for long anyhow. You’re just too—”

You’d let your mouth talk without your brain, and it suddenly occurred to you what you were saying. As your voice faltered, you weren’t sure what was supposed to follow.

Kind? Sweet? Cute? Handsome?

Kun was waiting for you to finish, and unfortunately, you panicked a bit.

“Kun.”

He frowned bemusedly. “I’m too ‘Kun’?”

You nodded awkwardly, while you interrogated your own intelligence in your head. “…To be mad at for long, yes.”

He cocked his head to one side, eyes narrowed towards but not quite at your bedside table. “Well, I mean, I prefer that to you being mad at me.” He exhaled, clearly relieved, looking straight at you instead. “Did you enjoy the film?”

“Oh it was awful!” you exclaimed. As you saw his eyes widen again, you laughed. “We enjoyed it so much.”

He was clearly very confused, and his lips wavered as he didn’t know how to respond.

You took some delight in his confusion, you couldn’t deny. “Well,” you propositioned coyly, “you’d understand if you’d been there.”

“I’m sorry!” he reiterated, eyes wide and searching yours for any sign of relent.

Normally, you would have perhaps kept up the teasing for a little while longer. However, sleep was lodged beneath your eyes, encouraging them to close.

“Ok, I’m sorry, I’ll stop now,” you laughed, though you felt a little bit guilty and sighed, sending him a small sweet smile. It still, however, occurred to you that he still owed you. “But… there would be something that would make it all up to me—”

To your surprise, Kun interrupted you, already one step ahead, “I know. Here.”

He shuffled along the bed so he was much closer to your body, arms held out for you. And you didn’t hesitate, much to his gratitude, levering yourself up with a temporary, newfound energy and straight into his embrace.

His warmth enveloped you, strong hands holding your upper back firmly, gently pulling you even closer. He didn’t even hesitate, nestling his nose into your neck, much similar to how you’d buried yourself into him.

Tender and tranquil, Kun seeped solace no matter the mood of the room. Some would perhaps identify this as a negative, but they would be wrong—very much so. He was needed to balance everyone else’s volume, brashness, fire. And you probably had very much needed him all day. Things could not be changed however, and the world kept turning even if you had previously wished it to. You wished for it to stop turning this time too, although for different reasons.

His fingers drew art upon your back, much to your soothed delight. It wasn’t something he did super often, but it was a characteristic of his: whenever someone needed comforting, he caressed characters into their back. They were often straight lines, as you’d found over the time you’d spent living with them, decorated with divots and curves.

His head tipped into yours, his voice a deep murmur, “I’ve been waiting hours to do this.”

Your heart skipped a beat. You couldn’t even help it, though you shook it off as best you could. You’d been all over the place that day, emotionally, so of course you were going to be reacting all fuzzily over general acts of kindness. Well, that’s what you told yourself. Besides, he was just stating facts.

However, you were distracted by a small epiphany that hit you somewhat out of the blue. The calligraphy he traced between your shoulder blades felt so foreign to you, and it took no shape you recognised. This wasn’t something new to you, admittedly. You’d felt these moments of tenderness before. And since you could assemble no familiarity, you normally led yourself to just move on. But with silence in the room, the pure stillness that so rarely occurred, you were able to pay a fresh attention to the patterns, to the weight of his hands. It occurred to you that his ministrations were not random. In fact, his fingers drew the same code into your shirt, over and over. It was a long line, three consecutive dots, another line—was it lipped?—horizontal, then swooping, then flat, finalised by two curves. And subsequently, it repeated.

You had barely an idea of what it was, but whether your scrap of a theory was right or not didn’t matter to you, as you were curious and were going to ask him nonetheless. He still owed you, you rationalised

“Me too,” you finally answered, frowned absentmindedly into his shoulder as you asked, “Kun, are you drawing something?”

“Hm?” He paused, confused by your words out of context.

“Into my back.” You shifted your face further into his hoodie, as if to hide yourself. Though it would be from him, which was slightly counter-productive. “You often draw as you hold me.”

“Do I?” Quickly though, his tact moved away from feigning ignorance, as he sighed, “Oh, that. I’m not really drawing, it’s more writing, actually.”

“Oh?”

“I-I do it to the others too…! Whenever they really need it. Though I’ll admit that’s not often,” he explained, his fingers halting as he spoke, “It sounds odd but… well actually quite silly actually…” he laughed breathily, awkwardness seeping into the corners of his eyes as he peered down at you. It was rare for Kun to get this anxious. “I write Mandarin kind of… without realising it,” he finished, “it helps the others and gives them some familiarity I guess? I figured subconsciously, I suppose, that it would help you a bit too? I don’t know really.”

He seemed pretty worried about what you thought—groundless, as you found his habit extremely endearing, actually, to the point you felt your heart swell. “Kun, that’s so sweet! Is it always the same thing for everyone?”

“No,” he answered after a moment’s thought, “I think I kind of write a specific one for each, but I can’t be sure now I think about it. To be honest, I don’t really pay—”

Your curiosity was not sated, and unfortunately for Kun, you couldn’t stop your nosey self from asking the question that this prompted. “Really? What do you write for them?”

“Well, like I said I don’t really pay attention to what I’m doing,” he responded sheepishly, “but… Ten gets ‘strength’, I know that one for sure, because I feel that’s what he has more of than he realises. Sicheng would get ‘ān’—you know, calm, content—because he is, but I've never had the chance to, as you, well, you know why. Lucas is lucky, he gets two characters because he’s ‘puppy’—”

“Obviously.”

He continued with a laugh that reverberated through to your chest. “—A-and I couldn’t honestly tell you what the others get. One of them I gave ‘loud’ because I think that’s what he needs to work on but—”

“I thought Lucas was ‘puppy’?” you snickered.

“Yeah, well,” Kun trailed off, “maybe it was him… I don’t know, I can’t remember.”

You smiled, releasing one of your hands from behind him to nestle instead amongst his hoodie as it had grown cold. You took this moment to work up the courage to enquire about the part that you couldn’t deny your interest was invested in the most. “What… what about me?”

He pulled away from you gradually, his hands coming to rest upon your upper shoulders, so very close to the sensitive parts of your neck. He studied your face, his own twisting into an expression of concern. “You really need to sleep,” he said, “your eyes are constantly closing.”

You pursed your lips at him. What did he have to hide about it? Was it something rude? It better not have been. “Hey!”

He cocked his head to one side. “What? They are. And you’ve had a tough day, you really should get some sleep.”

It was evident that it wasn’t him deflecting or avoiding your question—tiredness had seeped so far into your body that your voice had been barely audible, especially muffled by his clothes.

Hence you acknowledged his remarks reluctantly with a lethargic nod, before shifting yourself out of his grip, billowing the blankets out so as to allow yourself to lie down beneath them. Kun had stood to allow you more space, thus letting you curl up to conserve warmth properly.

He gazed down at you with particularly softened features. It was only in the dim golden light that you noticed how rouge his lips were naturally tinted, and how they curved into a smile as they opened to speak. Or how soft his cheeks were, as a long, slender dimple appeared as he did.

“You got everything you need?” Voice as light as silk, he leant over to catch your eyes behind the bundled blanket.

You affirmed with a simple nod, feeling your body give into the approaching heaviness.

You were barely able to work up the effort to speak anymore. The tiredness swept over you suddenly, but you didn’t fight it. Your body was crying for sleep, and your mind very nearly relented. But there was one more thing you had to clear up in some capacity before he left.

“Wait, Kun.”

The man turned back swiftly from where he’d gotten, heading towards the door. “Yes, love?”

You hummed, working up the words. “Something happened while you were out.” Upon seeing his face turn stony in concern again you proceeded before he worried too much. “Nothing bad! Just… Hendery and Yangyang had a bit of a bicker earlier. Over a newspaper? The CP Times? I think? Hendery really seemed to have struck a nerve though.”

Kun nodded, eyebrows furrowing in familiarity. “What happened specifically?”

“Well,” you sighed, propping yourself up on your elbow, as if it would help you think any clearer in your dozy state, “I think it had posted something mean about someone. Or excluded them from something when Yangyang thought they should have been included?”

“Yeah, that’d be the one.”

Confused, you frowned at him, silently requesting him to continue.

Kun winced as he drew forward a bit, in fear that the person in question would overhear from down the hall, “The CP Times wrote an article about YFCN—you know, the girl group?”

“Ohhh…” you drawled, things clicking into place a bit more.

“Yeah, one of the members was on hiatus at the time because she was ill, if I remember correctly, but the journalist wrote as if everyone was present and basically ignored her existence entirely. Lili I think her name was?”

You hummed in confirmation, “Does he like Lili a lot?”

Kun waggled his head slightly. “I guess you could say he’s a fan. Why?”

You shrugged, sinking back down onto your pillow, your arm struggling to keep you upright for any longer. “Hendery teased him about liking her, and Yangyang just… got all red and exclaimed ‘I am not in love with her.’ It really did come out of nowhere—and he did back down into himself after. He was totally fine once it had passed, though.”

Glancing back over to Kun, you saw his shoulders slumped ever so slightly, his eyes narrowed in pained thought at instead your blankets. His energy seemed to drop and disperse, just as though he had something he needed to mull over.

In fact he was suddenly thinking over what you’d told him very carefully. “Did he say it like you said it to me?”

Your eyes trailed away from him as you nodded, fiddling with the covers of your blankets. “Why, do you think he was lying?”

His head flicked up to you at hearing your interpretation. He couldn’t believe you had ignored the emphasis in Yangyang’s words; you were usually so in touch and intuitive with the group’s tones. He excused it though, and waved it off as nothing to further worry about—you’d had a long day, the intricacies of Yangyang’s secrets were not exactly your top priority that evening.

However, this did leave him with a dastardly tantalising opportunity. He could take control of part of the narrative. He could curb some of the risks, even manoeuvre himself into a better position. It disturbed him how big of a part of him actually wanted to seize the chance and bathe in the possible outcomes.

Luckily, his morality immediately crushed those considerations, coupled with a healthy dose of realism. It wouldn’t be fair to anyone, especially you. And that was not the sort of person he wanted to be. Ever.

Meanwhile you had your own subtle pain to fret over. Its origins were difficult to distinguish, as they always appeared to be that day. If Yangyang had a crush on Lili then it made perfect sense. She was gorgeous and strong—you were familiar with her group’s music, and you could never say you didn’t approve of his choice. She was the lead rapper, and an absolute badass with her own neon-punk style that contrasted so drastically but also gelled so well with the others in her group. It was no surprise he liked her—hell, if you had to choose a bias yourself you would choose her—and so you shouldn’t have been surprised. And, in all degrees, you weren’t.

No. Instead you were stuck with this uncomfortable pit in your stomach. A swollen stone that weighed just a bit too much for you to dismiss.

“I don’t know,” Kun finally finished, almost making you question yourself if he’d spoken without you even realising, caught up in your own head. He hadn’t, but it made you realise how correct he was in suggesting you go to sleep.

Watching your eyes anxiously wander about the room, he added hastily, “I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about. You know how weird those two are sometimes.”

You chuckled softly, and Kun found himself inclining towards you, just to catch a better glimpse of the beautiful sound; only for him to stop himself just before his movement became noticeable.

“Anyway,” he sheepishly started, never intending to ever finish.

You echoed him, before letting yourself take in his face one more time for the night. No matter where or what the lighting was, he was incredibly handsome.

Settling into your pillow at last, your subconscious finally quelled itself, agreeing at last that it was maybe time to give into that small, tired voice that begged you for rest.

Kun was grateful you were calming down, and as soon as he spotted his relief he felt the fangs of guilt bit into his neck. He didn’t want to leave you in any distress, and so he wanted to stay with you for as long as possible. But he also had his own emotions that were now deciding to not remain in check. And he hated it, but he had to acknowledge that he inevitably needed to be left alone to have his epiphany, and motivate himself into a game plan.

He nodded absentmindedly, straightening up and heading for the lamp on your bedside table. As his fingers flipped the switch and the room was plunged into darkness save for the blade of silver from the hall, his brain stuttered.

He’d wanted to do something for a very long time, and this was the perfect opportunity to do it. In fact it would be a way to get ahead of everything, perhaps. And it wasn’t like there was no evidence for his wishes. You’d already been desperate for a hug from him and him specifically.

But it was if his words were stolen, his movements forced to a halt.

Was it fair to do anything after all?

He wasn’t sure.

And so the lights went out, and he felt his feet moving by themselves towards the doorway, arm outstretched instinctively towards the handle, but too early to catch it—away from where he truly wanted it.

“Goodnight, Kun,” you called after him, watching his retreating silhouette carve a shadow in the light from the hall. He looked so tall and impending all the way over there. It was rare for him to be so tense—in fact, you couldn’t name a single instance where he was this pent up, and the other members could be a real hassle when they wanted to be.

As you began to worry in your sleep-deprived state for him, he reached the door and held it open. His head turned, and he stole a long, gradual glance into the darkness to take in a glimpse of your face. You already had your eyes half closed, cheeks sweet and squished against your pillow as you squinted over to him, waiting for his next move. You looked so adorable wrapped up and surrounded in warmth, and with your hair crowning you, gifting you a makeshift halo, your temple was left exposed and waiting.

But Kun, as he cursed himself numerous times in his head, was a coward.

“Goodnight, love.”

And with that he left the room, leaving the door ajar just how you liked it.

As he trundled to his room not far down the corridor, his knuckles reached up to his chin, and then his lips, where they rubbed uncomfortably hard.

There would be another time. Surely? He prayed that there would be, and that it was him alone who got the opportunity. But he couldn’t bring himself to believe it.

Hearing the click of a door from further down, he desperately slipped himself into his room, narrowly failing to avoid Ten’s omniscient eyes as he exited his bedroom.

He didn’t know where the younger was going, and he didn’t want to know, his brain was too preoccupied with other things.

Yet he knew that he knew too much. Ten knew everything. Kun didn’t have any proof, or know for sure, but he had a feeling that the guy thrived off knowledge, things he could perhaps perhaps spin.

No. That was too far. This was all just a strange bout of paranoia.

But he couldn’t deny his disbelief at how all the members never chose Ten as the member they were most afraid of on variety shows. Maybe it was the age dynamic.

“And there’s no evidence to show that Ten would ever do anything low like that,” he murmured to himself as he closed his bedroom door, “pull yourself together, Kun.”

He let himself exhale all the air that had built up in his lungs.

The conversation overall for him had been around a solid 4 out of 10 in terms of success. Not ideal.

He guessed he had to count his blessings though, that you didn’t apprehend his deflection prior over the characters. The idiot he was. Tracing ‘love’ into your back without even realising.

He was entirely lovesick.

And now he knew he wasn’t the only one, too. Of course he wasn’t. Why he hadn’t realised it sooner was a real challenge to his personally-perceived trait of ‘aware’ that he often took pride in.

It was him, and Yangyang. But was it just those two? His thoughts flipped like a switch, as if the vintage slideshow in his head had changed and had confronted him with nothing more than the purely angelic moving picture of you. Giggling when he had bought you ice cream at the beach, eyes gazing wide up into the grey skies as you’d been caught in a downpour and huddled under his tiny umbrella, the peace upon your features that he had just witnessed.

He had to come to the conclusion that it was most definitely not just him and Yangyang.

Xuxi? Of course. The kid couldn’t hide anything, and he had seen the way he stared at you 24/7. The optimist in him had just dismissed it because he didn’t want it to be true. There wasn’t a lot he had on the guy. It was purely down to your preference, as he lamented to himself, because there was no way he could compete with Xuxi’s face, his humour, his doting, puppy-love affection.

The qualities Kun did have were somewhat echoed in Sicheng though, he decided. And was it him too? He was always willing to help you. And just because he kept to himself more… Kun resolved he couldn’t count him out.

And Xiaojun? God, he wasn’t sure, but would he explain to him what he named the hedgehog after? No.

The leader cursed under his breath. He was in trouble to say the least.

Again, he questioned himself why he was so surprised. You’d been living with them for a while, for efficacy to begin with. And then you’d chosen to stay. It was practically inevitable that since he’d fallen so quick and hard that the others would obviously do so too.

He was left to establish Ten’s involvement, and the diagnostics were hardly in his favour there either.

As he contemplated everything, sitting on his bed with his phone discarded in his hands, the man in question meanwhile barely let himself look away from where the retreating shadow of his leader had stolen away to, so guilty-like. Ten’s gaze was only snatched away by the image of your passed-out face that he caught a peek of through the gap in the door.

Your beauty glimmered in his mind, a fuzzy image hazed with holy pink. And then he was silently taking the stairs, his mind becoming stuck on the picture of Kun’s eyes that he’d briefly seen before his head ducked away, and now covered his thoughts of you. They were glazed over, his real priorities tucked elsewhere. And as he noted where he’d just come from, and the context for the entire day, it wasn’t difficult for Ten to connect the dots.

He knew.

~~~

AN: here it is. The final piece. look out for the coming Endings!

Also, all film names were randomly generated on a title generator. If they are actually the names of films then they weren’t intended to be.

Ending One - Kun Ending Two - Ten Ending Three - Sicheng Ending Four - Lucas Ending Five - Xiaojun Ending Six - Hendery Ending Seven - Yangyang

Masterlist

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