#i will be on my own
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#i’m so tired#i know i’m gonna be alone for the rest of my life#and i hate it when people tell me that it’s just not the right time yet or whatever#so everyone else gets to be in love but not me?#i get it#i suck#i’m a failure#but for once it would be nice for people to have compassion#instead of ordering me to shut off my feelings like i’m a machine#but anyway#it doesn't matter#i don’t know why i am the way i am#fundamentally unlovable#but it’s always going to be this way#nothing will change#i will be on my own#and i have to be okay with that#this pain is not worth it#and also this isn’t just about one person not liking me back#it’s about how NO ONE in my entire life has ever liked me#or appreciated my existence#i wouldn’t like me either i guess#but it hurts so fucking much#i can’t take this pain anymore#i’m sorry
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For those who needed to hear it today
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My housemate's cat came into my room while my dictation was on...
(here's the fic btw)
#no her name is Chai Tea#she just has the robustness of a christmas chicken#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#ao3#<- for illario and cause this is for my veilguard fic#I can’t believe I’ve had this breach containment and it’s not even about my own cat#I'm soooo okay with this getting more interaction than the actual story I'm so oaky with it
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Fascinated by this phenomenon
#im just going to list fandoms i think this applies to#steven universe#witch hat atelier#dungeon meshi#one piece#hunter x hunter#moster high#ever after high#Disney#gravity falls#most animes really#if you have your own feel free to add them#meme#digital art#i made this with my finger on my phone after not drawing for seven days it was euphoric
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pls rb if you think cuddling doesn't have to be s3xual
im tryna prove a point to my bf's mother help me out
#like im asexual its def not gonna be like that for me#but she still thinks it is soo#but like. cuddling can totally be platonic there doesnt gotta be such a fuss abt it 😭#i get her pov but c'mon#asexual#aromantic#<- for reach#edit: ...its censored because i want to btw#like. ik im in the horniest social media but i wanna censor it so i do#ik i wont get shadowbanned like in tiktok lmao#im not even in tiktok......😭#so yup i censored it for my own comfort 💯 hope this answered your questions pls shut up now lmaooo
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✦ Pebble ✦
#obliterate your significant other with this one simple move#pet rock acquired#own art#own characters#CanisAlbus#art#artists on tumblr#Vasco#Machete#anthro#scenthound#sighthound#dogs#canine#animals#modern au#actually I was just really itching to draw some hands#a lot of the time my pieces are physically so small I can't quite fit in as much detail as I'd like#paw pads are usually the first to go#which is a terrible shame
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you'll get the urge as an artist or a writer to say out loud the things you're worried about "the proportions are off" "kind of out of character" "i'm not good at summaries" "didn't get as much detail as i wanted" "i made a mistake and here's how" and that's the self-conscious part of your brain telling you "it's bad and if you don't tell them you know it's bad then they'll think you're stupid" but you've got to ignore that little voice and pretend you think it's good or else that little voice is going to ruin your life
#psa: don't degrade your own work just because you're dissatisfied with it or worried other people will see the mistakes#project the confidence and the skill you're longing for will come i promise#not art#it's another one of my pet peeves online and something i had to learn myself#self-degradation is not the key to being a good artist online#it'll do more harm than good in fact
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A writer friend told me something that broke my heart a little bit today; they're going to quit publishing their fanfic.
My instant thought was that they had been trolled or attacked or that something terrible had happened in their life because this person is so passionate about their writing. It wasn't any of that. Engagement with their works has been going down, as it has for many of us. Comments are like gold dust a lot of the time, and just looking through the historical comment counts on old fics on ao3 demonstrates this trend very clearly. It was not simply the comments dropping off which caused them to decide to stop posting, however.
My friend came across a discord server for their fandom (I should point out here that their fandom interest and mine diverged a couple of years ago, we stay in touch but don't currently read each other's posts because I'm not into their fandom and they would rather gouge their eyes out with a wooden spoon than read anything Star Wars) and specifically to share fic in that fandom. They joined, because we all love a good fic rec, only to discover that their latest multichapter fic, which has almost no comments and very few kudos, is being hotly discussed in this server as one of the best stories ever. Not one of these people has bothered to say this to them on the fic. When they asked, none of participants could see the point in telling the author of the fic they apparently loved so much that they love it.
This discovery has absolutely destroyed my friend's love of sharing fic. They share because they love seeing other people's enjoyment, and fic writers do that through comments and kudos/reblogs/likes because we don't get paid. There is no literary critic writing a blog post/article about how amazing the story is for us to copy and keep/frame. There is no money from royalties. All we have are the words of the people reading our works.
Those people on that server could have taken five minutes of the time they spent gushing about how amazing my friend's story was to other people and used it to tell the one person guaranteed to want to hear that praise how much they loved it. They could have taken a moment to express their opinion to the person who spent hours upon hours plotting, writing, editing, and posting those chapters. Instead, they deprived my friend of thing that keeps them sharing their writing, and in the process have killed their love of it. My friend now feels used and unmotivated.
I won't be sharing a link to their fic, they said I could share their experience but not their identity. I know they plan to post one final chapter. I know they intend to express their hurt at being excluded from the praise for the thing they created, and I know they intend to announce that as a consequence they will not be posting for a long while, if at all.
So please, I beg you, don't hide your love of a story from the writer. It's just about the only thing we have.
#fanfiction#fanfic#ao3 writer#ao3 fanfic#writing is hard#fanfic writing#writer stuff#archive of our own#ao3#this isn’t about me#my stuff still has great interaction from readers#although I would never say no to more#but please please please don't hide your enjoyment from us#they feed the gremlins in our heads which give us the stories
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#twitter#this is blowing up so I wanna add my own anecdote#when I was young my neighbors had this orange outside cat#she had babies and was eaten by a javelina shortly after#:(#one of the orange sons survived for a few years before our other neighbor shot him and he died#there were more outdoor cats in the area they kept getting hit by cars the kitten mortality rate was horrid
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unfortunately i Do feel better when i clean my living space and eat enough fruits and veggies and go outside and generally remember i am a mammal :| real pity that knowing this does not make it easier to do those things
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Usamericans should be more anti-war actually. They should be straight up insulting marines and shutting down weapon factories, 60s anti-war protests kind of shit. I'm sorry for pontificating from down here but the US military-industrial complex is currently supplying a genocide, and this is not a new thing, the US has sold weapons to Saudi Arabia to starve millions of Yemenis, the Iraq war, the Afghanistan war, these are within memory. And though some people think it's not the point, it Is also true that there are trillions upon trillions of dollars that could be spent in anything else that go to the black hole of corruption (and call it for what it is, corruption) that is the Pentagon. Any of those resources could be destined to literally any other activity and be better spent.
I'm talking full contempt here. You should outright be HATING the military. Instead of lining up to watch Top Gun you should see it as a glorification of a fucking killing machine that serves imperial interests, enriches megacorporations and supports genocides. For the love of God be more angry about it. Goddamn.
#cosas mias#and yes I don't like my own military either before you ask#I like them just like that defunded and only there for humanitarian purposes if that#we learned a lot in Argentina about what happens when you let the military in power
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advice i think we should tell children is that when adults say stuff like ‘now that i’m an adult i get really excited about stuff like coffee tables and bathrooms and rugs etc’ they don’t mean ‘and now i don’t care about blorbo and squimbus from my childhood tv shows anymore’ bc your average adult still loves all the same pop culture stuff they always did; they just have a greater appreciation for the mundane as well. growing up just means you can enjoy life twice as much now. you can get really excited about a new stuffed animal AND about a new kitchen sponge. peace and love
#peach rambles#you don’t have to get rid of blorbo and squimbus!! they would look great on top of your beautiful new nightstand you’ve been excited about#hall of fame i guess#i get. the sneaking suspicion this post has inspired at least two other posts#to the effect of ‘uhmmm i was ALWAYS excited about these things??’#yes i did have to do my own chores as a kid prommy. i just didn’t have feelings about stuff yet ok
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"people show their true colours in life threatening situations" no, they show you what they act like when they're mortally terrified, an emotion notorious for literally turning your entire brain off to the point where people who go into those situations as a profession need to be literally trained on how to not have that happen
#am i arguing with random 'philosophical' type villains in my own head?#yes#it's a favourite past time of mine i hate every one of those 'i know the true nature of humans because i did horrible things to them' types#with every part of my soul
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my favorite work memory from this store will always be “hey remember when the subway inside the store closed down and they let me take a bunch of their shit for free and now it lives inside my house?”
my life is a joke
#mine#subway#eat fresh#sbubby#retail#i should not be allowed to decorate inside my own home#i just think they're neat#fast food#kitsch
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PLEASE for the love of the universe read anti-colonial science fiction and fantasy written from marginalized perspectives. Y’all (you know who you are) are killing me. To see people praise books about empire written exclusively by white women and then turn around and say you don’t know who Octavia Butler is or that you haven’t read any NK Jemisin just kills me! I’m not saying you HAVE to enjoy specific books but there is such an obvious pattern here
Some of y’all love marginalized stories but you don’t give a fuck about marginalized creators and characters, and it shows. Like damn
#science fiction#fantasy#xenogenesis#earthseed#the broken earth#frankly I think many of the critiques of my own work are valid#but when I see the same criticisms applied to authors who fundamentally changed the genre#I’m like#hold up
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