#i will be ignoring their existance from now on as much as it saddens me

[kyeterna]

Dreams of Copper and Snow

A season 1 masterpost by yours truly

Dreams of Copper and Snow is a story of an AU based, with various accuracy, on the things happening on the CopperSMP server. At the point of writing this post the second season has started, but I will catch you up on the first season stuff. As mentioned before, this is an AU so this version of the story might not perfectly line up with the other members' versions of the story or exactly what has happened. This post is VERY long. Disclaimers out of the way, let's proceed-

Chaos has Order breathed into it,

from Copper sprouts Life.

Ice cold death comes with winter, proceeds spring

as all things must die for new life to be born.

Thus are the Dreams of Copper and Snow,

Dreamt by Am

Materialised by Ath

Realised by Eia

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The World

Before the beginning there was nothing. In the beginning there was Amatheia.

Amatheia was the beginning. He was the end. They were the repeat. She was the beginning.

Amatheia was born and with her came the world. The world was born of her, as a result of her. She was the world and the world was her.

Amatheia then created the moon, Order. Order had three faces, the Heavens, the Water that Flowed from the Heavens, and the Earth that Received it.

For each face there was an Overseer, the three sisters, the Overseer of the Heavens, the Overseer of the Abyss, the Water Flowing from the Heavens and Received by Earth, and the Overseer of the Earth, each representing a different facet of Amatheia's Order-Justice.

The Overseer of the Heavens' justice is protest, fighting against injustice. She is the mother of all skyborne creatures, protector of the skies and all who take flight in them.

The Overseer of the Abyss, the Water Flowing from the Heavens and Received by Earth's justice is perseverence, thriving in the presence of peril, despite your adversaries. She is the mother of all seaborne creatures and plants, protector of the seas, rivers and lakes and all who swim in them.

The Overseer of the Earth's justice is protecting the weak from harm. She is the mother of all earthborne creatures and plants, protector of the woods mountains and caves, and all who walk through them.

In their turn they created lesser gods and spirits to guard their dominions, and then creatures to live in them.

From her, the world and life was created. Her divine love permiated through her creation. But do not mistake her love as the same as mortal love. Her love was more akin to the love a gardener has for their garden.

Am is Life, she is Creation, she is the World, she is smothering Love, she is Copper. She has dominion over all of the Alive. The Mother, the Tree.

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Amatheia died and with his death, the underworld split from the world to host him. With his death the world died to hold all mortals who shared the same fate.

He could not create but only take. His kindness however is warm and comforting to all who accept him. He was cold and stern towards whoever did not belong with him. And he was unforgiving to those who rejected him.

Ath is Death, he is Erosion, he is Fate, he is stern Kindness, he is Gold. He has dominion over all of the Dead. The Guide, the Decay.

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Amatheia dreamt, and within their eternal slumber, that dream realised the inbetween. Not quite death, not quite life. That limbo was a barren wasteland, an endless desert. Eternity would have passed if time existed at the end of the world, as its memory lingered within Amatheia's dream. But there was nothing here. And so they dreamt forever until they materialised Wisdom. And so they were reborn with the world.

They could not create, nor destroy, only reconstruct. Their wisdom is infinite and holds all the knowledge of the universe. Everything that has happened, will happen and could happen. They were the nothing outside of everything. They realised that which exists and does not. They were looking at the things beyond the world.

Eia is Rebirth, they are Reconstruction, they are Wisdom, they are cruel Void, they are Obsidian. They have dominion over all Fools. The Gatekeeper, the Dragon.

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And so the world was reborn, and with it the cycle of Life and Death completed and perfected. Amatheia then created the Sun to witness the world with her. The Sun was filled with pride, for his creation must mean he was meant to oversee everything. The world was made for him. And so, from the Sun came the Overseer of All Creation, Chaos. He crafted a crown out of the sun's halo and declared himself king.

He was punishment, he was violence and subjugation, exploitation, but at the same time wealth, prosperity, radiance and intelligence, the primordial flame. He was the father of all technology, science, alchemy and magic, self proclaimed ruler of the world and the underworld. He created lesser gods and split them into Administrators and Observers to divide the land amongst themselves and help their leaders respectively, and then the humans to be ruled by them. He gifted humanity part of the primordial flame and blessed them with the desire for knowledge. And thus began the age of prosperity.

Empires were built, technology progressed, civilizations were born. But in an ironic twist, the Sun's creations inherited his insatiable greed and ambition, which led to their downfall. Amatheia did not interfere. Hyvris

The lesser gods fought amongst them for dominion over territory, and the humans followed soon. Thus The Great War begun. It was a pointless battle fought for many years. Humans and gods alike would mutually destroy each other, bordering madness. Amatheia did not interfere. Atis

And the Sun did nothing about it all. Blinded by his own brilliance, he thought himself invincible and superior to everyone. In his own little world. But the verdict of his and his creation's fate had already been reached. Amatheia did not interfere. Nemesis

And the lesser gods and humans had concocted a plan to overthrow the fourth overseer and seize his radiant throne as their own. They created a weapon to deliver a fate worse than death. The corruption. Amatheia had already interfered. Tisis

A botched assassination, the overseer's rotting body's curse, the mindless rage of a heartless god, a betrayal, and an impossible winter. No one survived the corruption when coming in contact with it. Almost nothing survived in the world. The Great War was finally over. And after 500 years, the corruption was hidden beneath layers of ice and earth, until a seed falling from the sky unearthed it. Or more accurately, the people that discovered the seed unearthed it.

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The Characters (season 1)

~ Chris (Anaflektoras)

Overview: Very much a human, he is just a guy, a little guy, part of the Chalkos Tree aliance, after Kye's invitation. One of the few remaining wandering humans, a relic of a bygone era, despite his young age. Then again if there's no one to count the time passed, does time truly pass? Likely a masochist, he tends to antagonize people not caring about the consequences. Diligent, always working on a new project, be it a contraption or a build. Not uncharacteristic of his human nature. He might appear straightforward at first glance, but if you dig deeper he is quite enigmatic.

Relationships: Member of the Chalkos alliance. But has a positive relationship with everyone in general.

-Goes way back with his partner in crime, Kye, whom he stumbled upon years ago as they were moving from settlement to settlement. They ended up stranded in the middle of the wilderness for a while after their caravan was destroyed in an accident. Let's say these few days were quite formative. They tend to argue a lot but in truth they are quite close. -He has a sibling-like relationship with Constellation, as he tends to enable their mischief. -Him and Mctzii share a single braincell when together. -Great minds think alike, though in their case they could be considered fools in a sense. Lyria and Chris as the engineers of the general area and hard workers, find themselves in a lot of collaboration with each other. Chris holds a lot of respect for the warrior. At least as much as it is possible for him.

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~ Constellation system (Cosmos and Stella)

Overview: Constellation is a system with two alters, Cosmos and Stella. They are half divine (their mother was a lesser god under the jurisdiction of the first overseer) and half human (their father). However they harbour disdain for both the divine and human. From an absentee father, to an abusive mother and grandmother, they decided to run away from home and initially settled into Bowlside. While not quite immortal, they have a large lifespan. But despite their age in years being big, they are still just kids trying to find a place to call home. They eventually joined the Chalkos alliance.

Cosmos is the outwardly troublemaking one of the two. They might appear cold and hostile but they act as Stella's caretaker. Almost like an older sibling of sorts. They are the brawn of the two and do most of the hard work to take care of the system, as much as they complain about it. They might have a hard exterior, but once you manage to pass the walls they have created, they are a good kid.

Stella is more of a innocent looking menace. She will try to appear as helpless and small but she is definitely the brains of the two. Sure, she might object to Cosmos's troublemaking tendencies, but that doesn't mean she doesn't like to indulge in mischief from time to time. Quite the crybaby, she adores all things girly and will wear fake bandages to Cosmos's dismay. She is better at planning stuff. Despite their differences, both alters work together to live a better life.

Relationships: They have relatively positive relationships with everyone. Mostly thanks to Stella's efforts. Cosmos tends to sabotage them a bit with the troublemaking.

-Anaflektoras is one of the coolest people in both of their opinions. Sure, humans suck, but not him. He not only gives them free stuff (Cosmos steals, Stella apologises, Chris just lets them have the stuff anyways), but he will join them in any adventure they might go to. -Cosmos doesn't trust Gale. Stella doesn't mind him. But they both think he is a pathetic old man, but they can't help but worry a bit watching him go down a dangerous path -They don't like the new Lyria. Or whatever pretends to be them. -Their relationship with Kye is an interesting one. Stella had always looked up to her for saving them on multiple occasions, but as per usual Cosmos was warry of the weird human. But they ended up warming up to her, as she just started calling herself their dad. Maybe Cosmos liked the fact that she didn't mind their "attitude". That despite everything she was like an unmoving rock, an anchor for them. [author's note I am so fricking emo for the father-son duo, it's been over half a year and I still cry at the thought of two people finding comfort in each other in a cruel world don't touch me]. In the end, even Cosmos calls Kye dad.

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~ Gale

Overview: Gale... can no longer be called human. They used to have everything. A home, a family. Was it a curse from Amatheia for the Sun's people? For the humans that even dared to fight in the great war and not die in the pointless battle? When the Sun died, their form grew monstrous, and a blizzard buried the fire and the family it burned. He spent centuries trying to find a way to somehow repent and appease Amatheia, trying to rid himself of the freezing curse. But Amatheia was never angry at him. Ice cold death comes with winter, proceeds spring. Would those horns of his ever find the courage to bloom anew? Like all wayward souls, he stumbled upon Bowlside to try and build a new life for himself. But unfortunately the past always comes back to haunt those who run from it. A resident of Bowlside.

Relationships: He can somehow manage to piss everyone off around him, yet at the same time woo most fem adjacent people into marriage. The rizz of this man is insane.

-Extremely dicorved with Mctzii. Not even funny. Unbelieavably divorced. He is the type of guy to constantly send flowers to his ex and constantly ask for a redo. He is so hopelessly divorced -His marriage with Lyria was a difficult one. He wasn't the best husband. He'd do a lot of things for her in the name of his love for her but... it's up for debate whether it was love or self-serving reasons. -They were rivals, they were enemies, they were nemeses, they were foils to each other, they were narrative parallels, they were both humans whose humanity was foresaken in some way, they hated each other, their fates were intermingled, they were theatre kids, they brought destruction upon the world in their quest for salvation (I am talking about Gale and Kye) -Constellation was a useful pawn in their eyes

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~ Gus (cutely referred to as god)

Overview: The area's Administrator. He was quite young during The Great War, rose to this position due to the power vacumm caused by The Corruption. Very friendly, just happy to be here. He enjoys disguising himself as a human and acting like a mortal, even though anyone can tell he is not. If he was a mortal he'd have a very hard time staying alive. His inexperience means that he is not aware of certain things either, and is quite passive in the happenings. Whether that's good or not is to be determined

Relationships: he is in good terms with literally everyone. He is just that friendly and outgoing and doesn't antagonise anyone. He just enjoys the company.

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~ [Redacted] Kyeterna (Renacinis)

Overview: No amount of Wisdom can save a self destructive person from their "Tisis", or their consequences of their Hubris. But maybe that was the point all along. Seemingly a human, she appears to be strong, not in need of anyone else, a hermit, but in reality she longs for connections. For someone to call her by her real name. Not Kyeterna, nor Renacinis.

They don't like talking about their past. They just say they like orchids. "They remind me of home". Caught in the war as a bystander, they learnt that the safest way to live was in solitude. For years the words of her teacher guided her.

"From copper sprouts life"

She studied the stars in search for the seed of the Copper Tree. Eventually she found it and took care if it in hopes of finding the answers of the prophecy. Little did she know that fate had different plans. Founder of the Chalkos Alliance.

To many Renacinis was a legend of a bygone era. Amongst the gods it was a warning. Have you ever heard of the charcoal monster without a heart? They say that the one it bears was stolen from a god. Be wary of it for it brings death and destruction in its wake. But how many know the real story behind it?

Relationships: An interesting fellow, I'll tell you that

-She genuinely loved Chris. Even if she'd rather die than admit it. Now how healthy that love was is another matter. Which in truth, was not. And it would only get worse as time progresses. Through no fault of his she'd take her anger out on him, threaten him, try to control him. Can you really use her fear of being abandoned as justification? Even if he justified her actions, were they ever really okay? Was that why he ended up-. She really loves him, but that love turned to hurt, to bitterness, to hate. -Proud father of their son constellation. In reality that wasn't always the case. Kye met Stella as she begrudgingly rescued Stella from lava. "I will do anything to repay you" "then stay out of my way". To Kye's dismay, Cosmos and Chris spent a lot of time together to thr point where they asked to move in the Chalkos tree area. Kye wasn't sure why they accepted. Maybe for the hell of it. It started with Cosmos whining while fishing. Kye decided to join them and they spent time together. Time Kye thoroughly enjoyed in the midst of everything happening. "We are having a father son bonding experience". Kye loves both Cosmos and Stella but let's be honest, she has a soft spot for Cosmos -They absolutely hate Gale. Attack on sight type of hate. Extreme violence type of hate. "Having seen what's under that ugly mask, I'd say he's one of the most beautiful people I've ever seen. Too bad his personality ruins it" -At first they were warry, but eventually came to admire Lyria. And after some life altering experiences she'd even consider her a friend. Too bad the person that impersonated them ruined everything. Kye feels like she owes too much to Lyria and wishes she could repay somehow.

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~ Lyria

Overview: A lesser god under the second overseer's jurisdiction, stripped of their divinity through time and lack of worship. Protector of bowlside they resided there for centuries, watched people come and go. They grew a disdain for humans as they kept destroying the habitat. God turned to warrior. Herald of justice. Warrior turned to sacrifice. They gave up so much trying to save the people they cared about. They even gave up their body. Amatheia had plans for them.

Relationships: Lyria has always been the type of person to help others despite their limits. This meant that they were in good terms with everyone. But was it worth it in exchange for their self?

-Met Gale as they saved him from drowning. There was something about the earnestness of this human that attracted them. They loved him a lot. Their relationship was nice until they got married. -Close friends with Chris, they ended up working on a lot of community projects together. -Briefly dated Mctzii, but still on good terms -She slowly warmed up to Kye from their initial distrust for her due to Kye being a human. Maybe they appreciated how she would time and time again stand up for them.

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~ Mctzii

[ok disclaimer first, I started writing this post late january. It has been on the drafts for a while, for the sake of doing a proper job on this I will include them this once but since then the person who has this character has decided to cut all communication with me so because I feel uncomfortable writing anything about them I will keep this one sweet and brief and you won't ever see me talk about this character again, nor their season 2 counterpart]

Part of the southside settlement, part of the remnants of the mole people civilization (under the jurisdiction of the 3rd overseer) that were almost wiped to extinction because of the corruption, doomed by the narrative to meet the same fate as their predecessors. Had a messy divorce with Gale, was on good terms with Lyria, best friends with Nam, in the end they ended up isolating themselves in their lab consumed by their research and the corruption.

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~Nam

Overview: Is he a human? Is he a cryptid? Is he an anime girl? Is he a secret fourth thing? No one knows. All we know is that he is just a guy (best type of guy). Or maybe he is an anime girl after all. Perhaps 25 stacks of potatoes inside a spiderman costume. Resident of the southside settlement, he is *adjusts glasses* a lawyer, a councelor, a priest, the entire food industry, a judge, a doctor, a therapist, southside's mayor, a dog breeder, potato santa. Nam is love, Nam is life. But after the incident he has been missing with no one knowing where he is, which singlehandedly brought the collapse of society. No I am serious, the moment he left everything went wrong (though to be fair it wasn't because he left, but because of the things happening adjacent to that event).

Relationships: He is on friendly terms with everyone, the only person he was closest to was Mctzii

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The Story (season 1)

I won't be including backstories because that would make this post twice as long, so bulletpoints of what happened within the timeframe of the story

Gale, Lyria, Constellation lived peacefully in Bowlside, Mctzii and Nam in southside respectively.

Gale "divinely" inspired wrote "Faith & Order" and other religious texts and started worshipping Amatheia (leaning towards the Am part of the trinity) more. Lyria followed along. Constellation due to their upbringing was reluctant to worship any gods.

A meteor falls south east of southside and bowlside alike, bearing a seed that would later become Chalkos Tree. Kye following a prophecy chases after the meteor and begins the working. "From Copper sprouts life"

Gale and Lyria catch wind of the masive dig site created by the meteor that Kye is working on and are not happy with what's happening as damaging the earth is against the rules of their faction of their amatheian religion. The first conflicts arise.

Kye invites Chris to the area to help with the construction, he ends up just hanging out.

About this time Kye saves Stella from lava who then starts orbitting around Kye to find a way to repay her.

Should I mention the relationship drama Gale goes through? It's a lot of drama. Guy has both infinite and zero rizz at the same time, good for him

Lyria dies saving Gale from a raid at bowlside and as they are brought back to life, the first part of their contract with Amatheia begins.

Construction of Chalkos Tree is coming to a close when Kye unearths something that shouldn't be unearthed. They fall into a month long coma

During this time Lyria moves next to Chalkos Tree and hangs out with Chris more, and hosts Constellation.

Meanwhile, using their last remaining divinity Lyria protects Kye from the corruption. They both end up facing the Gatekeeper (Eia) in a dream world. The deal they form goes wrong but all that matters is that Kye woke up. Right?

Just in time for the wedding! Lyria and Gale are finally getting married. But Lyria is visibly weakened and Kye woke up, wrong.

That was the last good day.

Gale leaves a copy of Faith and Order and the rituals adjacent to the religion on top of Chalkos Tree. Kye takes that as a threat. Lyria decides to take it upon themself to try mend the very strained relationship between Gale and Kye. Goes horribly wrong.

"Builds that massively alter the landscape require human sacrifice. On a golden throne under an azalea tree, the human must be executed by a priest for forgiveness for their sins"

Lyria asked Mctzii to kill them on that golden throne. Lyria was neither a human, nor was Mctzii a priest.

Amatheia completes their contract with Lyria and takes over her body fully, barely keeping them alive. Amatheia has a plan. And they are not very pleased.

Amatheia posing as Lyria convinces Chris to cooperate with her in order to "save everyone". He complies and his first job is to complete The Rite.

Kye wakes up to find her worst fears confirmed, Chris and Lyria missing, with a golden throne next to the crater. Furious she confronts Gale, who just like her is oblivious to what happened.

"Lyria" approaches Nam and after speaking to him he leaves the area, his house destroyed under unknown circumstances.

Gale meets "Lyria" only to realise that whatever has his wife's appearance is not her. He also finds a more timid than usual Chris tagging along whatever the thing with Lyria's appearance is.

Gale and Kye attempt to form an alliance to get to the bottom of what happened with Chris and Lyria, so that Kye can get Chris back and Gale Lyria. Unfortunately for both of them their clashing personalities are impossible to fit together

As Constellation begins building an aquarium near Chalkos Tree, Cosmos is fishing in the river. Kye in an attempt to escape for a little the complete rollercoaster of the past few days decide to keep company to them. She jokingly keeps calling herself Cosmos's dad and them her son. Cosmos finds her weird for that, but oddly endearing. Over the course of the next few weeks the joke gets serious.

It is unclear what sort of experiments Amatheia does to Chris but things are taking a turn for the worse. Kye is overconsumed by worry especially after one of them almost got Chris killed.

After a confrontation with "Lyria" she discovers the identity of the pretender and let's Gale know. She becomes less willing to fight as only an idiot would try fighting Amatheia. Defeated she only tells Chris to call her if he needs help. Gale has other plans however.

The corruption is getting worse, overtaking more and more of the area. Mctzii has been spending weeks locked in their lab and Kye is getting more and more, wrong let's say.

Gale after looking over tons of old texts finds a potential solution to all their problems. Who could have the ability to oppose Amatheia? Who was connected to the corruption in the first place? Chaos.

Chris never called for help. Despite everything he never did. Kye was getting more and more agitated at her friend, while Amatheia just relished at the angst. "You know Renacinis, you're not always right. And you might not be the best thing for him. Chris made his choice"

Constellation observed how overwhelmed with grief and anger their father was becoming. She kept reassuring them everything was fine, when it clearly wasn't. So Gale approached Cosmos with a proposal.

Stella did not like the proposal the least bit. Cosmos didn't either but they were willing to do everything to help their father. Maybe Gale knew Cosmos would be more willing to comply hence why he approached them specifically. And so the construction of the false Sun begun.

In the meantime, a giant airship was being built in the sky, overshadowing Chalkos Tree. When Chris asked Amatheia what it was for, she simply answered "a last resort for the worst case scenario"

After weeks not seeing anyone, Kye was approached by Gale. Over the world's most awkward dinner, Gale makes a simple proposal. "How do you feel about me running for ruler of the general area, from Bowlside all the way to Chalkos Tree, with you as my assistant? Our community clearly needs a leader with all the chaos around" obviously this was but a red herring, Gale knew Kye would never agree to something like that. "There should be no ruler, we are doing fine with no hierarchy as it is?" "Are we?". With Kye unable to answer Gale adds "We could see what everyone else says. Let's do an election" and so she agrees.

The false Sun looms over Chalkos Tree. The ship is complete. The puzzle pieces fall into place.

The campaign announcements would take place by the false Sun temple at Gale's request. Kye reluctantly agreed. Amatheia was not happy.

Kye started out with her statement which didn't go as well. Gale asked what her plans were for fighting the corruption, to which she had no answer.

"I however do have a solution" Gale stood up and walked past Kye. Cosmos followed behind.

Kye instantly got distrustful "Gale what are you planning?" "The sun will help us fight the corruption, and I am here to demonstrate" Amatheia observed silently. "Cosmos I really don't like this, please turn back" Cosmos hesitated a bit. They had a bad feeling about this too. But they remembered the dark scars Kye kept hiding with her gloves. They remembered how their behaviour had changed the past months. Gale promised this would fix things, they had to believe it would. And so they marched on. "See, they made up their mind. Contrary to what you believe, you cannot control others" Kye bit her lip and sat down. Amatheia was glaring at Gale at that point. But they remained silent. Gale noticed her and gave her a big triumphant smile, taunting them to stop him. Cosmos went up the elevator and was now inside the sun temple. They looked down at the crowd who was watching. "Gale I hope you know what you're doing" they thought. The temperature was getting higher. They were starting to have second thoughts. "And now for the main show" Gale grinned widely as he brought out a grimoire and pulled a lever. "Gale you'll regret this" Amatheia sternly declared. Kye almost instinctively equipped her armour. Lava started pouring into the temple as Gale started chanting. Cosmos screamed in fear. "THIS IS NOT WHAT WE AGREED ON, YOU'LL KILL ME!" Gale ignored Cosmos's pleas for help and continued on. "You-" Kye dashed at Gale like a rabid animal, drawing out Nemesis. Gale dodged the attack as he continued reading. Amatheia kept observing. The rest of the audience slowly backed away. Cosmos was crying in pain as the lava slowly burned them away. "I don't want to die I don't want to die. It hurts. It hurts so much. Stella I'm scared". The last thing they saw was their father fighting Gale. As they were about to lose their consciousness, he looked up at them and smirked smugly. "And done!" Gale said as he closed the grimoire. Kye launched another attack which he effortlessly deflected with his now drawn sword. He kicked Kye down and walked towards the sun. "YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS-" "I just did. Anyways I present you-" Gale paused dramatically as he opened the doors to the elevator to reveal- Cosmos? Kye's eyes widened, she tried to run towards them but Amatheia stopped her by grabbing her shoulder firmly. She looked up to see their face clouded. "-The fourth overseer. Chaos"

Let's say Gale messed up big time. Reviving a dead god is a huge no no, especially this one. Chaos only had one goal in mind and it was revenge on the world for his horrible fate. Yeah sure he would technically be able to fight Amatheia, potentially win, but Amatheia had other plans. Of course, she was very angry at the inconvenience in front of her.

Gale thought he was in control of the overseer but no, immediately considering Gale a heretic, he stabbed him and moved on to fight Amatheia. The near fatal wound caused a blizzard to start, the freezing cold depowering the overseer.

Amatheia instructed Kye to get Gale and hide in Chalkos Tree's roots. She told Gus to hold off Chaos as much as he could before joining Kye and Gale at the Tree. Gus asked what about the others. "Nam is safe, Chris will be with me" "What about the others" Gus asked worried. Amatheia remained silent.

She fleed for the ship as Gus took on the overseer. There, with Chris locked inside one of the rooms she started the engines and started flying away. She left a note for Lyria and left the body.

Snow was starting to get inside the Tree. Kye wanted to yell at Gale, curse at him, kill him with her hands, but that would be pointless. The cold was starting to make movement harder. "You want to yell at me so bad it makes you look stupid" Gale chuckled. "You reviving a dead GOD makes you look stupid- wh- WHAT WERE YOU THINKING" "And what, just sitting around waiting for our deaths was a better solution? Pretending everything was fine?" "AT THIS POINT YES!" a loud crash came from outside. "You don't understand Kye, I lost EVERYTHING, should I have just not taken any risks that could bring me back even something?" "YOU KILLED MY SON" another loud crash, "I lost everything too, but I kept going forward, I found a new family and now I lost that too. Because of YOU" as they reached the bottom of the tree trunk, Kye tossed Gale on the ground furious. Gale groaned in pain. "Asshole" "Sorry...". Ice was starting to cover the walls. With another loud crash, Gus teleported next to the pair severly injured, "This is as much as I could hold him off, now we can only pray the walls of this thing are sturdy enough". Gale looked at Kye. "Are... are we gonna die?" The snow kept piling up. She looked back at him mortified.

Cosmos found themself on a floating island, surrounded by a pitch dark sky. If you tried focusing your eyes hard enough on the sky, you could notice static. Their shoes were touching water, in its reflection they could see Stella. They both looked ahead of them at 10 obsidian pillars surrounding a small shrine, hosting am obsidian egg and Amatheia who was guarding it. "I would find your presence before us ironic considering your relationship with Renacinis, if not for the fact that we brought you here ourself" they gestured to Constellation to come closer. Stella in the reflection moved the simultaneously with Cosmos. Looking down, Cosmos realised Amatheia, or rather Eia, had no reflection, just a shadow. "Under 'normal' circumstances you'd have to face me in a battle, you know, in my cooler, dragon form but the situation is far from normal" Eia patted a spot for Cosmos to sit on, while they embraced the egg. "You are technically dead right now" "Oh." "That was an underwhelming response" "How am I supposed to respond?" "Stella down there is freaking out" Cosmos looked at Stella who was shouting something inaudible. "It's okay, I brought you out of the dream temporarily. In case you haven't realised the world you just left is ending? Yeah" Eia knocked on the surface of the water, and its reflection changed to show the entire chalkos tree area covered in snow. It also showed Constellation, well Chaos inhabitting Constellation's body outside the Chalkos Tree, fighting Gus. Cosmos grimaced. "Yes this is exactly how Lyria felt" Eia hissed a horrible laugh. "I don't like you" "I get that a lot. What are you gonna do about it?" Cosmos exhaled and crossed their arms. "Good kid. Stella seems more concerned about Renacinis... Your dad right?" they scoffed. Cosmos frowned. The reflection was now showing Gale and Kye fighting inside the Tree. "You don't have much time so here is my proposal: using part of the Wisdom, we can nullify everything that happened" "What?" "Yeah yeah yeah, rewrite the world in a way that the corruption never becomes a thing asterisk and everyone is safe! asterisk. I just need you to act as the anchor. And to pass on the seed" "I have several questions, first of all why are you saying 'asterisk'?" "No time for the fine print, it's either that or you guys are dead dead" Eia chipped off part of the egg's exterior, and gave it to Cosmos. It looked like a seed of sorts. "When you meet your dad again, give it to them. She'll know what to do with it. I am gonna give my last instructions to Renacinis and if she doesn't screw up we'll meet again. Or not! Hold your breath" and with that they push into the reflection the egg and smile. Cosmos and Stella slowly merge again as they fall through the surface of the water. They watch as Chalkos Tree turns from Copper to Gold to Obsidian and then everything turns dark.

Cosmos wakes up in the middle of a forest. Alone. Stella is still there yes, but physically they are alone. Their wings damaged from the lava. In their hand a tiny copper seed. "Great". And so they start walking.

================================================

For the story of season 2 the masterpost will be linked [here] once it's written. There are a lot of details I haven't included but this is just sort of introductory. I went on such detail for the finale mostly because it is DoCaS exclusive, I don't wanna get into the details :'). I tag all the posts related to it as copper smp/docas/dreams of copper and snow!

If you read all of it first thank you and second congratulations, I would have a really hard time doing that.

[multiversediaries]

god of mischief indeed

loki laufeyson x reader

summary: you would’ve never thought this was what loki said about you when you weren’t around.

warnings: very small angst, wholesome, fluff

part count: 2/2

an: omg so sorry for the super late upload!!! hope you all enjoy!!

part one

it had been only a few days ever since you overheard loki speak with thor about you. you had moved into your new room and you were comfortable. but even then, you wouldn’t and couldn’t lie to yourself and say you didn’t miss him to death.

you sat up on your bed, unable to sleep yet again tonight. you found yourself reminiscing of all those things he did that you mistook for habits. your hand ran towards the empty pillow besides yours. you missed him like crazy, but those words of his wouldn’t leave your mind. you still couldn’t believe how he proudly admitted to playing with your feelings, and how cold he seemed. you have been distant ever since. completely ignoring his existence. you wanted nothing to do with him, and everyone could tell.

you decided something to drink could help. you stood up from your bed and left your room to find yourself something to help you relax. you walked into the kitchen and began looking for any sort of tea that could help you sleep at least a few hours tonight. you sighed in pure exhaustion as you continued to look in the dark. after a few minutes of endless searching, the lights of the kitchen suddenly switched on. you almost jumped, startled.

you turned around, ready to joke with whoever turned the light on. yet all you did was frown at the sight of loki. of the man who had just broken your heart into pieces only a few days back. you took in his appearance, his messy long hair, dressed in casual clothing, it was such a nice sight. a sight you used to adore but now only caused you pain. you sighed and turned around yet again, continuing to find yourself something soothing to drink.

loki let out a sigh behind you, walking closer. he stood by the end of the counter, as he watched your every move, confused as to why you were suddenly ignoring him.

“love?” loki called out, and goosebumps covered your skin. you hated the effect he easily had on you. you ignored his call entirely. “darling, what’s going on?” he asked, shamelessly. you almost chuckled, whilst you started to heat up water in a pot. loki sighed deeper, not understanding why you seemed so distant.

“y/n.” he said sternly, but ignored yet again. he walked closer to you, now grabbing your arm, to gain your attention. “y/n—“

“don’t touch me.” you spat at him, removing his hands off you, in both anger and sadness. he stared at you in disbelief.

“have i done something? why do you act this way towards me, love?” he asked, and you almost wanted to hit him. did he really not know? you shook your head, amazed by him.

“why do you care so much for someone you’re only having fun with, huh?” you asked, crossing your arms infront of your chest. you were tired of his lies. loki tilted his head, confused, furrowing his eyebrows.

“love, what are you—”

“anyone must be insane to believe you’d settle with me of all people.” you continued, until he seemed to have realized what you were talking about.

“you heard.”

“i heard.” you replied, drily. loki sighed deeply, before looking back into your pained eyes. you turned around yet again, to continue what you were doing.

“dear—“

“stop calling me that. stop talking to me as if i’m stupid.” you interrupted him. loki took a deep breath, trying to find the words to possibly calm you down.

“y/n.” he said, dropping all the nicknames all together. “you have it all wrong. believe me, i—”

“you what, loki? you love me? oh, please, you can’t think i’d actually believe that.” you laughed, turning to look at him, his expression further saddening but you couldn’t care less.

“y/n. listen to me, won’t you?” loki attempted to say, his hands trying to find their place in your waist, yet you pulled away from him again. “come back to our room. let’s talk this out.” he tried convincing you.

“i mean absolutely nothing to you, laufeyson. nothing.” you painfully admitted. “i am simply someone you can screw around with whenever you’re bored. i’m nothing more or nothing less to you.” you continued, loki shook his head, disagreeing with you.

“so i won’t burden you any longer— hell, you probably only came to look for me because you wanted someone to sleep with, didn’t you?” you finished, turning around again to continue what you came for. loki stood behind you, as if frozen in place, not knowing what to do or what to say. his hand started to reach out again, needing to feel you, to hug you and beg you to come back to him. but his pride got the best of him. he pulled his hands back and began walking away from you.

“very well.” was the last thing he said, before he walked back into his room, leaving you all alone in the kitchen.

“oh, my god.” you whispered, leaning against the counter, now trying to catch your breath. it took everything in you to not forgive him and hug him. you didn’t even realize your hands were shaking until you tried pouring the hot water into a pot, and failed. maybe it was best you didn’t drink anything that night.

=============

“you clean up nicely.” tony remarked, as you walked into the party. you let out a small giggle, shaking your head. the avengers had planned a party, to celebrate all their recent victories. you were excited for it. it had been so long since you last spoke to loki. it was painful to say the least.

it now seemed as if he didn’t care about you anymore. you’d catch him staring at you here and there, but his eyes were not full of love like before. you could only see anger and even confusion at times.

but loki. he was suffering as he watched you from a far, being so happy without him. god, it was eating him alive. he felt insane. he couldn’t understand why you seemed to be doing so well without him. how could you? when he’s helpless without you? but he would never admit his feelings for you. he wouldn’t dare speak to you.

but even then, loki couldn’t prevent his eyes from widening at the sight of you. the sight of his woman, looking as gorgeous as ever. your beauty was intense. his jaw clenched, as he leaned against the bar, watching your every move. and you knew of this. you could feel his eyes as if they were his beloved daggers. yet your thoughts were interrupted by pietro, laying his hand on your lower waist.

loki let out a breathless, bitter chuckle. who does this boy think he is? loki grabbed his cup of whiskey and drank the entirely of it, soon ordering yet another glass, his eyes still glued to you.

“you look beautiful.” pietro whispered in your ear, and you couldn’t help but blush. it has been so long since you were last complimented on your appearance. it wasn’t even close to how loki seemed to worship you back then, but those were probably lies, right?

“are you alone tonight, darling?” pietro asked yet again. you nodded gently, looking into his eyes. he smiled widely and shook his head, leaning once again to whisper in your ear.

“not anymore.”

you giggled, softly hitting his arm. he chuckled at your loveliness and looked at the others, trying to catch up on their conversation. you grinned softly, completely oblivious to the jealous loki watching you from afar.

“lovely couple.” thor broke loki’s silence, followed by a mocking chuckle, sitting next to him at the bar. “don’t you think?” he asked, whilst ordering his own glass.

loki stayed completely quiet, not daring to look away.

“he seems to compliment her quite well...” thor continued, looking at his brother besides him. he watched as loki’s expression changed all together.

“brother—“

“it wouldn’t surprise me if pietro’s currently pursuing her. it’s slightly obvious.” thor interrupted loki, who seemed to be getting more uncomfortable by the minute.

“i mean, she is a gorgeous woman—”

“stop it, will you?” loki finally spoke, his hands massaging his temples in frustration. thor chuckled softly, taking a small sip of his glass, amused by his brother’s stubbornness.

“what is it?” thor said after some minutes of silence, a bit worried for his brother. loki had never acted this way. loki let out a big sigh, meeting thor’s eyes for the first time.

“i simply—“

“you’re in love with her.” thor said, shrugging his shoulders, as if it was obvious. loki widen his eyes, almost shocked. was it truly that obvious? were his feelings that apparent? can’t be… because if they were, why didn’t you notice? if they were, why were you here with pietro tonight? loki looked back at you, his eyes pained as he watched you enjoying yourself at the presence of another person that wasn’t him.

“i don’t know what it is you’re talking about.”

“won’t you stop being dishonest with yourself?” thor said, somewhat annoyed by loki’s obliviousness. loki looked at thor once again, his eyes full of confusion and sadness.

“i can tell, brother. how smitten you are with her. we all can.” thor declared, finishing his drink. he let out an exhausted sigh before continuing. “you’re the only one who still hasn’t realized it.”

“i—” loki started, his eyes going back to your figure, dancing with pietro in the dance floor. his heart sinking whenever you’d smile, his hands sweating in nervousness. “i don’t know what to do.” loki confessed, dropping his head in defeat. thor listened closely.

“I don’t know how to alleviate— i just— don’t know how to fix this.” loki shook his head, as he remembered the things he said, and how hurt you were because of him. “i haven’t got a clue on what to do to get her back.”

“mhm…” thor hummed, as if thinking before speaking up soon after. “have you ever heard of apologizing?” thor joked, earning a deadly look from the god. thor raised his arms in defense, chuckling. “i’m just saying, brother. an apology can do so much… and your confession.” thor said, loki looked at his brother, nodding his head in agreement. thor offered him a small smile, before tapping his shoulder.

“you must hurry, before you genuinely lose her.” thor finished, before walking away, leaving loki all alone. loki let out a breath, he didn’t know he was holding and nodded his head. he needed to speak to you. he needed to get you back.

he kept watching you. waiting for the perfect moment to snatch you away. yet pietro was by your side all night. it was so angering and bothersome to loki. his moment soon came though, when you excused yourself. you needed some fresh air, your social battery was already running out.

you offered smiles as you walked through the party, there were more people than you expected. you let out a thankful sigh as soon as you officially walked out of the party, towards the foyer. the air was cold. causing you to softly hug yourself, seeking warmth. you closed your eyes, finally feeling peace and enjoying the quiet. you didn’t even feel the presence of loki, before he softly spoke up.

“hiding from your date?” loki gently said, breaking the silence. you almost jumped by the sudden sound of his voice. you offered him a small smile, before going back to looking upfront, shaking your head.

“just needed some fresh air.” you simply replied, licking your dry lips. loki nodded, still keeping his place close behind you. he could smell your sweet perfume, you were wearing his favorite.

“why are you with him tonight?” loki finally asked, somewhat terrified of your answer. you looked back him, confused.

“why do you care?” you asked.

“answer me, y/n.” loki pleaded. you furrowed your eyebrows, fully turning around and facing him. you tilted your head in confusion.

“because he seems to care for me, and—”

“and i don’t?”

“w—what?” you asked, baffled by his words. “no, loki. you don’t.” you confirmed, looking deeply into his eyes. loki scoffed a grin, bewildered by your stupid response. how could you ever think like that? when he loved you so?

“you must have lost your mind.” loki mumbled, shaking his head. that stupid grin of his still plastered on his face. you bit your lip, angrily. “you know i do, y/n.”

“do i?” you asked, tears beginning to well up in your eyes. “do i really? you never tell me anything, how am i supposed to be so sure of that?”

“y/n—” loki started, now walking closer to you, his hands reaching out to lay on their place on your soft cheeks, yet you pulled back from him. his eyes looked at you, shocked and hurt. “please. let me show you.” he almost begged. you sniffled, trying to decide on whether letting him touch you. after a while, you nodded.

loki placed his hands on your cheeks, his thumb softly caressing your shiny skin as he admired you. it had been so long since he had actually looked at you. so long since he had the privilege to touch you and even breathe the same air as you. he locked eyes with you once again and spoke up.

“of course i care for you. there’s absolutely no one else in this or in any universe that i care for and that matters to me more than you.” loki confessed, and you froze in place. you couldn’t believe this was happening. you couldn’t believe the words that were leaving his mouth.

“but then, why— why would you—”

“i don’t know why i’d say something like that. i truthfully— please believe me when i say that i didn’t mean any of that.” loki interrupted you, his hand softly removing a piece of hair from your face. you sighed shakily as you listened to him.

“i just don’t understand…” you whispered. “if you really care, then why would you say something like that? why wouldn’t you want to be with me?” you asked, your voice breaking mid sentence. loki felt his heart breaking into a million pieces as he watched the tears leave your eyes.

“oh, love.” loki said softly, almost in a whisper as he tried drying your endless tears. “i— i’m terrified.” loki confessed, his hands dropping gently to his sides, and stepping back from you, giving you your space. you looked at him through your watery eyes.

“of what?”

“i’m in love with you.” loki bluntly confessed. and you froze in place. he was… what? loki bit his bottom lip, his hands starting to sweat. he even looked shocked himself by his sudden confession. you could even see his chest sinking, trying to find his breath.

“i want you— i’ve wanted you for so long. i can rarely breath whenever you’re not besides me. i feel at ease by simply hearing you breathe.” loki rumbled, his hands running through his hair anxiously.

“i just— i wasn’t sure of how you felt, hell, i wasn’t sure of how i felt.” loki continued.

“loki…” you started, taking a cautious step closer to him.

“no one has ever loved me or has ever treated me the way you have and.. i am simply horrified of losing… this, by my greed. i— want more. i—”

“i love you. i— i do. there’s not a day i haven’t not loved you. i— i love you so much that it can’t even begin to be described. so much that i could and would die from it.” loki continued and yet, you couldn’t move. you just listened to his words, letting him let it all out.

“however… i don’t deserve it. i don’t deserve you. i’m aware of that.” loki said softly, so sadly it brought tears to yours eyes yet again. “how could you ever feel anything asides from hate for someone like me?” loki chuckled, and you were at the verge of tears. it hurt so bad, seeing the man you love be so insecure and overall love starved, to the point where he actually believes he’s unlovable.

“loki— listen to me, will you?” you almost whispered, closing the space between the two of you. your hands ran to his cheeks, cupping his handsome face. his pained expression pulling at your heart strings.

“i’m being selfish, y/n, i acknowledge that. but i realized i can’t live without you. my world has no meaning if you’re not in it, but i can’t— you don’t deserve this.” loki almost sobbed in your hands, closing his eyes, trying his hardest to remain strong. you couldn’t breathe by watching the man you loved so much be so vulnerable, and all for you.

“i love you.” you gently started, your thumbs stroking his soft skin. you heard as loki took a shaky breath, his hands hovering over your body, as if scared to touch you. his eyes starting to water as he looked back into your gorgeous eyes.

“i’ve loved you ever since i first laid my eyes on you.” you continued, and watched as loki closed his eyes again, a small tear leaving his eyes.

“i’m sorry.” loki apologized, already in tears and you couldn’t help but hug your gentle giant.

“i know. it’s alright.” you consoled him, your hand stroking his back lovingly as he cried in your shoulder.

“but never say or do anything that stupid ever again.” you joked, earning a small grin from loki, who only nodded desperately.

“y/n.” loki spoke, after pulling away from your hug and now looking directly into your eyes. “are—are you sure? of this? of us?” he asked insecurely, and it made you frown deeper.

“loki—”

“do you understand all the danger there is to being by my side? i’m not a hero, y/n, i will never be and i just— i don’t want to ruin any perception you could have of me.” loki said, his voice full of anxiety. you placed your hand in his cheek yet again, and leaned in to finally kiss your man.

you heard his breathe hitch as you placed your soft lips on top of his. you kissed loki sweetly, intending to communicate all of your feelings for him in one simple kiss. soon enough, loki finally placed his hands on your waist, comfortable and confident enough to touch you. his tongue soon entered your mouth, now fully tasting you. the kiss lasted a few minutes, and you didn’t want it to end. you didn’t know how much you loved kissing loki, until you were deprived of it for so long. you soon pulled away, resting your head on his.

“i love and want you, loki. not a perception. i want you because you’re you.” you said gently, as to comfort him. he sighed softly, only listening to what you had to say.

“i don’t know what you’ve been through, that has caused you to think like this, but you deserve all the love in this world, and i’m honored to finally give it to you.” you continued, placing a sweet kiss to his cheek, earning a shy smile from the god. “please let me continue loving you, loki laufeyson.”

loki didn’t even have to answer. he just wrapped his arms around you, engulfing you into a loving hug. you giggled softly, returning the hug. you caressed his back lovingly, as loki finally realized you were his. his woman, the love of his life. he found himself smiling knowing that his insecurities didn’t win, and here he was, hugging the love of his life. loki soon pulled away, looking into your sweet eyes.

“pietro.”

“pietro…?” you repeated, confused.

“if he ever dares to lay his dirty hands on you again, i swear—” loki was interrupted by your laughter. he couldn’t help the smile that appeared on his face as he heard you laugh, but this time because of him.

“i’m serious, darling. watching him shamelessly flirt with you has been torture these part few weeks. i will not stand it any longer.” loki said, shaking his head. you giggled, nodding your head.

“you deserved it.” you joked, loki smirking at your comment.

“i did.” loki said, softly pecking your lips lovingly.

“yes, i did.”

—

taglist <3

@dragonmurray @lokidokieokie @luringfantasy @evolvingchaoswitch @kerst666 @crimson25 @hanndotcom @kittiowolf210 @yelkmelk @princessdragon23 @valkyre9125 @saltedcoffeescotch @assembelingavenger @oreojenni @bigbaddie45 @theliability @darknights04 @ruth-is-a-koala-bear @moony-2001 @chronicallybubbly @catradora333 @wiltedflowersundertowers @mayemperess @spiderlily-w1tch-blog @andurgonnabehappy @cultish-corner @richardsamboramylove55 @robynjasp @softestqueeen @creat0r-cat @maverickroyalromanoff

[istharoth]

Lingering Presence

wc: 1.6k | fem-reader | not proof-read

Inspired by Haku's warding card!

She stares at the crane machine in distaste. She's all for having vending machines at Onsens but a crane machine too!? That's evil and smart. She's definitely going to play until she goes broke. 

"…I lost again." She falls to her knees, weakly holding the last token while Zenji assures her she wasn't bad at the game but the machine was stingy. 

"How many have you gone for?" Subaru tilts his head in pure curiosity. The Inspector had been at it for the past fifteen minutes so it likely wasn't that much money. 

"Fifteen tries," She mumbles, looking away, unwilling to meet his surprised gaze. "But the maiden lost all of it, alas!" Zenji sighed, resting his hand on his chest, much saddened by her loss. 

"Want to play a round?" She asks, offering him the token as she stands up. "Is it okay?" He asks, staring at the token as if it were an uncommon object. 

"Yup, it's fun once you get the hang of it." She grins, moving away from the stage. She watches with a smile on her face as Zenji teaches Subaru the controls, the duo trying their best to get a plushie. Well, since she's available, she might as well get some drinks.

Carefully sliding the door open, she walks down the halls. It was mostly empty, granted it was a family-owned onsen by none other than the Kusanagi Clan. Seriously, she knew he was rich but if he were on the same level as Jin, she'd have to wonder if Darkwick only allowed rich people to enter the school. 

She lightly jumps from the veranda to the grassy field. In the night sky stars glitter across the vast galaxy. 

The full moon glowed down at her. He leans against the wooden pillar, gazing at her in fondness. "The moon is beautiful, isn't it?" Walking slowly, he appears behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. 

"Wha-!?" She clenches her fist, twisting her body to land a punch on the perpetrator, only stopping when she figures it is Haku. "Violent, aren't we?" He grins, and retraces his arms, raising them in the air as if to signify defeat. 

"You could've announced your presence?" She questions back and he chuckles, "Guilty." Though he doesn't look guilty in the slightest. 

"Can Your Majesty please forgive this soldier who didn't know any better?" He does a curtsy and she tries hiding her bubbling giggles. "If the soldier vows to protect me, yes." He looks up at her, extending his hand towards her. She places her hand on top of his and he plants a kiss on it. 

"Now," He smiles at her radiantly, cheeks a bit flushed, "The vow can't be broken." She's done for. She's absolutely done for. She's not sure how much longer she can hide what she feels for him. 

He intertwines their hands, asking if they should head back in. She still needs to buy the drinks but she doesn't want to let go of him. She doesn't know if she'll get the chance again. "Let's go. I want to see if Subaru-Senpai got a plushie yet," She chuckles, ignoring the thumping of her chest. For now, forever she'll pretend as if it does not exist. 

When they enter the room, Zenji immediately takes Haku's attention and he lets go of her hand. She looks down at her hand, a tingly warmth felt from it. "Y/N-San, I finally got it!" Subaru appears in front of her, proudly displaying the plushie to her. 

"Woah! Congrats, Subaru-Senpai! It's so cute!!" She gushes before glaring daggers at the crane machine. "I think I might get one for Lyca," Subaru smiles, looking at the plushie and then walks back to the crane machine. 

"Heyy, don't spend too much." Haku sighs putting his hand on his hip as he watches Zenji and Subaru shoot for another plushie. "Once you start, you can't stop." She points, mirroring his actions. 

"That so?" He chuckles, taking out a small box from within his sleeves. "For you." He holds a small box towards her. In the transparent box, she could see earrings similar to his own. 

"Don't they look similar?" He points at his ear, giving her a huge grin. "When did you buy it…?" She asks, thanking him for the gift(?). 

"A while before we ate at the dango stand." He answers, asking if he could help her put them on. Nodding slowly, still a bit in shock he brought her something, she handed him the box. Opening it, he unclasped the earring and tugged at her earlobe gently. She could feel the warmth radiating from his body, she hoped he couldn't hear her heart. The ghoul senses weren't that good, were they?

It felt like minutes had passed, but it's likely only a few seconds passed since he clasped the earrings on her ears. He takes out his phone, handing it to her to look at her reflection. 

She can't take this anymore. She wants him to love her as she does. Desperately. 

Glancing at his earrings, she touches the tassel of the earring. It's as if they had bound the red string of fate themselves. Fate need not care for who they're supposed to love. Fate has no business in her love life, since she's locked hands with him, she's been his. 

"Thank you," She whispers and he hums, "Anything for you." 

It's been nearly a year since she was found in a train station. She doesn't remember what happened, except she was at a concert. However, she received news that the group had disbanded a year ago. In the year when she didn't remember anything, she returned home with only red tassel earrings. 

Just like clockwork, she reaches for the earrings. Staring at her reflection in the mirror, she watches as the triple-knotted red earring dangles. She does not recall when she brought it or why she brought it- if she did, that is. 

It appeared from nowhere and every day she had to put it on. Her entire self feels unfamiliar if she doesn't. It's reminiscent of something too, something or someone she can't recall no matter how hard she thinks. 

She lets out a shaky sigh, walking back to her bed and falling backwards. She stares at the ceiling, the fan from above showering her with cold air. She remembers nothing from the past year, but somehow there's always a dull ache when she tries to recall. Something happened, something she wished she wouldn't forget. 

"Let's get to work," She gets up from her bed, continuing her morning routine. 

Despite getting lost at a train station for a year, according to the police, she uses it anyway. There's something about the specific station in Harajuku she can't wrap her head around. It's not just in Harajuku but also on the train heading to Tokyo Bay. 

She passes through the crowd, eyes on her phone as she changes the song playing from her playlist. It's from the band she liked but they disbanded. The world feels a bit unfamiliar as if she'd seen something that wasn't accessible to the rest of the world. 

A figure bumps into her and she looks up. He looks familiar, moreover, his earrings are similar to her own. "Oh, I'm sorry." He nods as if to apologize. Before he can get lost in the crowd, she grabs onto his sleeve. He turns around, eyes widening slightly and she stares up at him. She knows him. She's well aware of his presence, but she can't figure out who he is. 

"Have we met before…?" She asks, eyes stuck on his dangling earrings. It's the same as hers. It's pure coincidence. She should accept that but for some reason, she doesn't want it to be just a coincidence. 

He smiles at her, it's familiar. It's as if he were the very thing she couldn't remember. "I'm sorry, but maybe you have the wrong person?" His guilty tone doesn't match the light-hearted expression on his face. She immediately lets go of his sleeve, apologizing profusely. Somehow though, she doesn't think she can forget this strange encounter. 

"I couldn't say it last time but," She looked up and he was already staring at her. "They look good on you." She feels her face flush up and rubs her neck in embarrassment. 

"Thank you," She should ask what he meant by the first statement but looking at the complete look of fondness in his eyes, she doesn't think she should. 

"Then, I hope we'll see each other again, Your Majesty." He turns around, mixing in with the crowd. She can feel her chest bubble in excitement. She sprints forward, attempting to find him again but to no avail. He's someone she doesn't want to let go of, someone she definitely doesn't want to forget. 

"Met up with her?" A certain grim-reper asks, leaning against the station walls. "She still wears them," Haku mumbles, hiding his face with his arm and Rui chuckles. It's hard to see Haku lovesick again. Not that he doesn't understand. The Inspector's appearance was abrupt, she left a long-lasting impression but left just as abruptly. 

Haku Kusanagi had once sworn he wouldn't fall for her again. He'd only watch from afar as she lived her life without anomalies, without ghouls. He'd be content with just that. Had he known all of this would happen, he would've confessed before it was too late. He would've had her in his arms for just longer, he should've held her hand for longer. If he did all that, then maybe they wouldn't be strangers again.

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Hi, am binge reading your ideas and theories and… honestly lowkey kinda feel like ya might be JK but ik ur not a trans hating bigot like her.

Anyways, just wondering your thoughts on this: Do you think Albus Dumbledore actually love Harry, or at least cared about him?

Hi, and lol, I am definitely not JKR, pretty sure she'd tell me I'm wrong on quite a few of my interpretations of her canon, but thank you nontheless!

Now, I think Dumbledore's feelings toward Harry are kinda wierd. Like, he convinced himself he does a lot (like keeping Harry in the dark about everything) out of love and care for Harry, and I think he really believes that. The thing is, I don't think he loves Harry or cares for him as much as he tries to convince himself and Harry, or in the way he says he does.

Like, Dumbledore talks a lot about love, compassion, and the power of friendship but when we actually look at his life, he doesn't really have many friends, nor did he ever have many friends.

We see Elphias Doge who calls himself a close friend of Dumbledore, but he doesn't really know him. Doge idolizes Dumbledore the great wizard but he doesn't really know Dumbledore the man. They planned to travel the world together, but they weren't as close as either of them believed, not really.

Alastor Moody is similar, we're told he is an old friend of Dumbledore, and yet Dumbledore doesn't recognize Moody is acting completely different for an entire year, something I noticed without knowing the real Moody all that well.

Aberforth actually knows Dumbledore and the brothers, while they generally care about each other, they aren't really close. Albus looks down on Aberforth and Aberforth is incredibly bitter towards Albus.

Then we have Grindlewald, who I'd argue was the closest a person ever got to Albus Dumbledore. Dumbledore actually saw Grindelwald as his equal and legitimately cared about him. So Albus got burned quite badly from the deepest relationship he ever had.

Since then, we see Dumbledore caring in a more abstract, general way. He doesn't see most people as equals to himself, and he is a cold man leading a war, most of the people he interacts with need to respect him as a leader, not as a peer. All of this creates a lot of emotional distance that results in Dumbledore not really having close friends nor does he pursue deep connections. He has allies, and people he is friendly with, but he doesn't have anyone he can confide in.

Snape is the person Dumbledore tells the most too, but Dumbledore is manipulating Snape for his plans most of the time, and is again, Snape's superior. So even Snape, who knows more about Dumbledore and his plans than most, isn't really privy to Dumbledore as himself without his image and responsibilities.

Basically Dumbledore is an incredibly lonely character who preaches love and friendship while not really having any connections like that himself.

Then when it comes to Harry, Dumbledore thinks he knows who Harry is (he doesn't) and Harry has many doubts about Dumbledore. Dumbledore really is trying to care for Harry, he truly believes keeping him in the dark is good for him, so he can have a childhood. But Dumbledore is projecting his own beliefs on Harry, not actually acting out of love for Harry as a person, who he doesn't really seem to know. If he did, he'd know the last thing Harry wants is to be kept in the dark since he never really got to have a childhood anyway.

I think Dumbledore is truly saddened he has to sacrifice Harry to kill Voldemort, and was trying to find a way Harry might survive, it doesn't mean he won't do it though. Harry as the BoyWho-Lived and his purpose as a a martyr in Dumbledore's plans is more important to Dumbledore than Harry the boy.

While Dumbledore does care about Harry in a general sort of way, he cares about who he believes Harry is more than who Harry actually is. When he talks to Harry, it seems he isn't aware of some of Harry's traits (or ignores the evidence of their existence as he has a tendency to project. Albus projects his own view of the world on his mental image of Harry and Voldemort quite heavily), so we again see this wall Dumbledore has between himself and everyone else. A wall Harry realizes was there during book 7 and is constantly thinking about how he never really knew Dumbledore and how much he didn't get the chance to ask him about. The wall is one Dumbledore doesn't climb either which results in him not fully knowing the people around.

So, like, I think he did care for Harry Potter the idea of the boy he had in his head, but the mission and goals he set for himself were more important than that. That, and Dumbledore doesn't seem to actually know Harry.

[dootznbootz]

I know we love our morally gray characters. But the internet kinda ruined Circe for me.

Let me explain.

I remember I actually used to really like Circe's character when I first read the Odyssey last year. I loved her as a "helpful antagonist type" character.

But what ruined her character for me was everybody calling her a "girlboss" or just simping for her in a way? But they completely disregard the fact she technically raped a man. (But no one cares about that because male SA victims never get taken seriously, especially in media smh)

Now, I can never experience Circe as the same character because all I see is a terrible person being glorified because of her gender. And then people say double standards don't exist!

Which I hate cause she's a genuinely cool character. (From a writing standpoint)

Circe isn't a bad character let me be clear (in the Odyssey anyway. Cough cough Madeline Mil-) But I just hate how people romanticize her completely ignoring her terrible actions. And to think it's all just because she's a "hot badass female".

And this isn't just about Odysseus either, there's literally a myth where she tries to seduce a man, but when he remains faithful she turns him into a woodpecker-

People can like her CHARACTER, however, they should still acknowledge her bad actions too and hold her accountable. If we can all agree it's shitty what Zeus did to a bunch of women, we can also agree what Circe did to Odysseus was shitty.

Women sexually assaulting men is just as inhumane as vice versa and we have to stop turning a blind eye about it, even if it's fictional.

And I feel like people WOULD actually hold her accountable if she was a male character. Which makes me even more angry.

Maybe this is just a me thing, but I just can't fawn over a character and call them hot when they've done something as bad as some of the things Circe has done.

So, I guess what you could get out of this-

Please stop romanticizing circe.

Hold her accountable as you would any other character.

Don't be so forgiving just because you find her attractive.

Anyways, thank you for coming to my Ted talk and sorry for ranting

honestly yeah, all of this.

I sadly had to block Circe's tag on tumblr because it pisses me off how much people glorify her and/shittalk Odysseus with it. (I trust my friends when they have Circe content lol)

I love Circe as well. She's such an interesting and fun character but how people twist her just fucks with me so much. Also to make HER a victim just for girlbossness? What's so girlboss about having such a horrific thing happen to you?

I said it in a different post but you can thirst for Circe without making fun of her victim. People will call a victim of rape a manwhore or a slut as if what happened to him was a grand ol time. It's genuinely disturbing. He is shown to have PTSD from it (in my opinion) in the Odyssey. This book is ancient and yet it captures that better than anything I've read.

Odysseus isn't necessarily a wholesome, "goody-to-shoes" man. He does a lot of awful things. That doesn't mean that the suffering he went through is suddenly negated.

Even bringing up stuff with female characters, the fact that people will water them down so then they're not "problematic" pisses me off. Women can be horrible, even good women. Penelope is my fave but she's pretty awful in many ways.

Evidence will be right in front of people and they won't care. Crying, begging to go, fear, avoidance, numbness, etc. There'll be excuses anyway. "He's a guy, he's fine with it." "Men are sex crazed, especially back then." "He didn't try hard enough." "He should be grateful."

Honestly? What saddens me the most is that I don't think people will ever really understand what happened or even WANT to because they have their own idea in their head and refuse to see it for what it is. I mean Hades game did it too. It's really sad.

Circe and him weren't fwb. They weren't lovers. What about "heart full of grim forebodings" screams love? He wanted to save his friends and go home.

[sukibenders]

I really enjoy Yellowjackets but the way it throws its poc characters to the side, the way the fandom does is so unsurprising but saddening at the same time. Shauna is one of my favorite characters, she's cool and stuff but, being honest, the trope of housewife having an affair because she's bored of her current life has been played before. So what if this one had certain elements outside of it, it's still common so it kind of grew tiring to see Yellowjackets constantly shove this plot at me when Tai's storyline is right there.

Taissa, a biracial woman who, even after living through something horrific as a kid, "bounced back" and lived the life she always wanted. She was a lawyer, now ran for and won a position in office, married a beautiful and smart woman and had a son, has a whole perfect family who she loves. Only for the trauma, the aspect of her life she promised herself and others to never talk about, is now coming back and in the process causes her to do things she doesn't want to do. The plot that could have come from Taissa alone is out of this world. You mean to tell me that a biracial lesbain running for office wouldn't be more entertaining than Shauna's storyline? Why couldn't Tai be the main focus?

And I don't even want to get into the fandom, but I have too. Listen, I like TaiVan for all that they are. They helped each other survive during a time where they thought it would be impossible. But what annoys me and, sadly, almost pushed me away from this ship, was how the writers and fans treat Simone and Sammy. Like the shows only way to have Tai together with Van was to put her wife in a coma and abandoned her son? That really does not sound like Tai, who fought to get her old life. And very insidious how some fans make certain jokes that just reek of "Let's push away the black characters to make room for the yte ones", because I've seen people call Simone the villain, to other things, just because she told Tai to get help all while framing Van as the better option. I've seen people in the fan call Sammy unnatural or even a demon just because he exists in a way that is not natural, by that I mean acting out and expressing coping mannerisms because he saw a version of his mother who terrified him but can't express, but I forgot because he's a little black boy who needs help people will ignore him or dehumanize him, because that's how this works right? The shows main, and only dark-skinned black characters were quickly pushed aside by the plot for what?

And I have a feeling the show may make us watch Taissa go through great lengths to keep Van alive (even though I do want Van to live), but won't extend the same want to Simone, which will read badly with the undertones in so many ways.

And the fandom treats Tai poorly as well (don't even get me started on some pretending to care about her family just to hang it over her head and call her a deadbeat) and reaching some nearly very ableist thinking when talking about her. Taissa deserved so much better, from the show and the fandom, and I hope they do better in season three but I'm not so sure to be honest, because most of the scenes even having mentions of Tai's blackness were because of Jasmine, not the showrunners, who it would be fine if it were small things here and there but to add so many crucial parts to your character because others won't begins to become a pattern.

[trashysimpaa]

GUYSGUYSGUYSGUYS

just, remember many years ago when tfp got into Asia and that's how we got a hundred of artist to arrive here-? And that now these days most of them are..offline,rip,nolstalgia hits hard,you can only find their drawings in pinterest or something like that.

So yeah let's talk ab one that I REALLY LIKE,and just for the sake of them needed to be known more today

Tokiwaakebi or zakushin(I couldn't find translations for these names)

Really much an optiratch artist,I found them by wanting to find who did this one certain drawing here with the help of Google

and then I casually found them in a site copying tumblr called tumblex,and for what it looks like,it's a site that contains stuff from the past..maybe? Because I have tried searching on tumblr itself and their user dosen't exist.

Their content is so nice like literally, most of the artist that I found do alot of bl when it comes to manga,l say also nsfw content too but for me luckily they are not accessible!!

Please go check their art here on this site and tell me if you can find anything about them,I just god i really love tf Asian artist they are my inspiration

Just really, IGNORE THE ADS OKAY,IGNORE THE ADS ISTG-

Anyways go see their art,they are a optiratch and mecha liker artist but they also draw non-mecha art too! What saddens me the most ab the past on the internet is that you find amazing people and they just..poof out of existence on the web..you can only find some posts

________________

AN UPDATE!! SOMEONE FOUND THEIR ACCOUNT HERE! SO IT REALLY IS JUST A COPY OF TUMBLR AFTER ALL.

and they just poofed out of existence ON TUMBLR,they are currently online on Twitter so go to the link above to find their Twitter pls!!!

I will be reblogging one of their arts if you wanna follow them because I think..I THINK,you can't here because it's totally customized

Shout out to @darkchestoftales for helping me find them! So it is just a copy of tumblr lol-, they explained that maybe the URL for this user for some reason is HIDDEN,and that they have found tokiwaakebi from a friend's reblog. THANK YOU SO MUCH, this is ridiculous, just why to this happen?this artist needs to be known! I thank you alot for darkchestoftales for messaging me,really,thanks alot,I hope people can reblog to know them

[cabe0512]

I don't know why but I'm so obsessed recently with writing a fanfiction adaptation of Castlevania: Curse of Darkness and I feel like I want to give it a shot.

My vision is that it combines the story/characters from both the game and the tie-in manga (add in a bit of lore from Judgment in there) while being an unofficial follow-up to N!Castlevania, tying up all loose ends and character arcs from Season 4 and retconning Nocturne from existence (more on that later!).

Don't get me wrong, I liked the first two seasons of the original show but it all went downhill for the third season all the way to Nocturne (the latter which, as a hardcore fan of the series, left an awful taste in my mouth). My general perspective of the show also turned very sour as soon as I played the games and took a deeper look into its lore.

Outlining the story, it's going to include Hector as the main protagonist with a much deeper focus on his relationship with Rosalie, whom I reimagined as the twin sister of the witch Julia Laforeze.

Since Hector has become my favorite character in the game, it saddened me just how much he's been treated in the show, both within the storyline and outside of it (looking at you, Ellis!). So I wanted to give him a little bit of justice and redemption for this one.

Carrying on from Season 4, this would give me the opportunity to start his character arc from scratch and gradually transform from the person we ended the N! show with into the badass that headlined the original PS2 game.

Some characters who appeared in the game - like Trevor Belmont, Isaac, Saint Germain - won't be included due to how vastly different they've become compared to their game counterparts (for better or for worse).

Instead, their roles within the story are being filled in with new characters, mostly those that were left out from the games but should've been included in the original show to begin with (cough Grant cough).

Another aspect that I want to include in this story is more emphasis on the magical (albeit somewhat Lovecraftian-esque) side of this universe, which I wanted to explore through Julia and Rosalie as well as Hector's evolution as a Forgemaster.

I feel like making Castlevania too grounded ALA Game of Thrones came at the expense of the gothic/fantasy aesthetic the games were known for. The Infinite Corridor is only a gist of that, but it even felt underwhelming for how little it was utilized at all.

On the topic of loose ends, I feel like the show left so many more questions than answers when it ended. There were two characters whose ultimate fates are left in the wind, a plot hole which I found too egregious to ignore, combined with an ending so convoluted it nearly ruins the purpose of the games that follow it down the timeline.

In the process of fixing those issues while taking reference from the original games' lore for solutions, I ended up making an alternate timeline separate from the Netflix canon. This occurred when, in planning the finale of the story, I would have to address the consequences that the actions of the characters bring to the overall timeline.

Due to this, the timeline would remain relatively unchanged from the games' canon minus a few changes (such as Dracula's appearances, though his presence is more prominent). As a bonus, this would also mean completely ignoring/retconning the events of Nocturne (Rondo of Blood still happens albeit very differently, as that's a story I want to write about next).

All in all, I'm currently writing the first chapter now, sharing a few snippets at a time whilst doing so. I appreciate your time in reading this post.

[halfagone]

I loved how you wrote my last prompt with Danny and Dani and father-daughter relationship! If I remember things correctly, I don’t think Dani actually met Jazz in the show. With that in mind, this next prompt is Danny introducing Dani to Jazz as his daughter with the ensuing fluff that comes from that reveal.

(Continuation from this post)

Finally got around to this ask... four months later... It took a while to get back into the groove of Dad!Danny so well. Here we are lol

And no! Jazz has never met Dani in the show, which is something I have referenced before. Jazz doesn't appear in either Kindred Spirits or D-Stabilized, so it wouldn't be possible for her to know. I don't think Sam or Tucker know that Dani is his clone either, actually. 🤔 I think they've only ever referred to each other as cousins in front of those two. Something I'll have to take advantage of, some day.

For the sake of my sanity, I'm going to continue to call her "Ellie" in this one.

But as for Jazz...

---

Jazz blinks down at the young girl Danny has just introduced to her. Calling her his daughter. Danny. With a daughter.

She pinches her arm once, just to make sure she's not dreaming and- ow, no, this is real. Jazz doesn't know how this could be possible. Danny is a kid and okay, maybe he's technically an adult now but that's still far too young to have a kid Ellie's age.

Yet who else could this little girl be? Just looking down at her and Jazz can see countless little similarities between the two. The hair and eyes are the more obvious features, but even the splatter of freckles over their noses, or the subtle twist of their lips when they smile...

This is Danny's daughter, she has to be, but how can that be when Danny is so-

"Ellie, this is Jazz," Danny continues to introduce, ignorant to Jazz's internal breakdown. "Yes, she's the same Jazz I've told you about before."

Ellie turns back to Jazz with surprise, blinking those big, big blue eyes at her. She looks so much like Danny used to when he was little, all big-eyed and curious about the world. In some ways that hasn't changed, not in the slightest, but sometimes Jazz misses the simple innocence about him. She's lost that a long time ago and it saddens her in some ways to know Danny's lost that, too.

Somehow Ellie still has it, although Jazz is sure her origins couldn't have been... pleasant. Yet she looks at Jazz like she's something special, something amazing. And she looks at Danny like he's the sun she orbits, gravitational pull keeping her from falling through the cracks.

She's a lot like her dad, that way.

Jazz slides down into a kneeling position, smiling softly at the little girl who timidly smiles back. "Hello, Ellie. I'm your dad's older sister, which makes me your aunt. I'm so happy I got to meet you."

And Jazz would be the best aunt to ever exist. She'd make sure of it.

[writeshite]

You’re Not So Quick To Love Again

Summary:

You try to ignore the apparent looks of curiosity you garner from the rest of the staff; word of your possible reconciliation has no doubt already become the top story  - it’s more monotonous; if anything, there are moments when Mark almost does something out of habit but stops himself almost immediately. You almost fall into familiar patterns as well, and by the end of the first day of the trial run, you’re adequately exhausted.

Pairings:

Mark Sloan x Male Reader

Tags:

Angst | Guilty Feelings | Therapy Sessions

Words: 2499

Author's Note:

The amount of shit I read for this fic has made me realize my grasp on English is hanging by a thread 😭.

Previous | Series Masterlist

30 days.

30 excruciating days.

It’s awkward, to say the least when you and Mark start the trial run - at the very least, you don’t immediately turn to hostility - that’s not to say everything is peachy keen. Derek, for obvious reasons, is a little skeptical, more so with Mark than with you; George is very much in the same camp as him, Izzy is happy that you’re working things out, and the rest of the staff seems to be divided into either camp or in most cases, neither - simply watching the events unfold. The counseling sessions don’t stop, of course; they carry on as is, but included every so often is a catch-up on how things are going.

“Good morning.”

You’re also talking again, albeit more so prompted by the trial run than anything else. “Good morning, Dr. Sloan.”

“Nice day,” he mutters.

You nod, hmming in agreement as you make your rounds; there are no emergencies for now, and hopefully for the rest of the day. You try to ignore the apparent looks of curiosity you garner from the rest of the staff; word of your possible reconciliation has no doubt already become the top story. You don’t bump into Addison much, even now, and you don’t know if you should be relieved or saddened - it’s more monotonous; if anything, there are moments when Mark almost does something out of habit but stops himself almost immediately. You almost fall into familiar patterns as well, and by the end of the first day of the trial run, you’re adequately exhausted.

The dogs are more rambunctious; it seems; Atlas practically swamps you when you step through the door, Gumdrop not far behind; the usual walk doesn’t do much for them, so you stay out a little longer. It’s not too bad. You ignore the essay-long lectures filling your inbox from Zoe and the phone calls over the week. By the end of said week, you don’t feel less likely to shove a scalpel into Mark’s neck, but at the very least, you can exchange some words somewhat less maliciously.

“How has the first week been for you?”

Dr. Saltzman doesn’t seem to show much emotion in favor of either you or Mark during the sessions - though you think he might be more in favor of you, but that may just be you. “It’s been alright,” you respond, “I’m still angry, but I feel I can somewhat co-exist peacefully now.”

“That’s good.” He says.

“I mean, I’m not over it, but I’m still unsure if I want anything other than whatever this is,” you tell him. “A part of me doesn’t even think any of what we had before was genuine, it felt genuine for me, but I don’t know if it was the same for Mark.”

The creeping thoughts never left; with this reconciliation stage, they returned, you couldn’t even look at Addison without your throat constricting and the memories hitting you back full force. “Do you see your relationship before this as tainted?”

You shrug, “Not all of it….a few moments, maybe…I don’t,” you groan, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize; you’re well within your right to be uncertain; most betrayed spouses can never look past that hurdle and ultimately break things off for good.”

“Should I break things off?” You ask, hoping he’ll tell you what to do, but that’s not his job; he tilts his head and redirects the question back to you. You slump back in your chair and run a hand down your face. “This’d be a lot easier if you just told me what to do,” you quip.

“It would,” he responds, “but then, you’d no doubt come to depend on me for other decisions then, wouldn’t you?”

You groan, “Before, my feelings about him were pretty angry, but the stupid optimistic side of me is resurfacing again; I hate it.” You don’t look at him when you speak further on the matter; the soft spot Mark managed to carve back into your heart is whittling away at your anger. “I miss him,” you can admit that much freely, “I miss his stupid face. I miss the little moments between us, like when he used to wake me up by rolling all his weight on me.”

“Marcus Sloan, I swear to go —”

“My name’s not Marcus,” he remarks, still not moving from his apparently comfortable position. “It’s Mark.”

“Mark…get off…” you try not to laugh, but it is, at the very least, entertaining. 

“I’d push him off me, and then we’d wrestle before getting up to make breakfast,” you recount fondly. “There are times when I’d do something with the dogs, or just mundane, and then I’d turn to talk to him, and I know it’s him because I’d call out for him before….”

It hadn’t been anything major; Atlas had tried getting into the cupboards again, “Mark, get your dog out of the —“ you’d paused, placing a hand over your mouth and shaking your head, then ushered Atlas away yourself. It had been a running joke - when the dogs would make mischief, they’d be Mark’s dogs; you hadn’t done this in so long. 

“Ever since I started this trial run, I’ve been falling back into habits,” you say, “I hate it. I hate myself for getting so hopeful and happy around him again.”

Mark doesn’t think the past week has been anything but good, and he responds to Dr. Saltzman’s question with that. “I’m hoping it’s the same for him,” he adds on.

“Why?”

“Because —sometimes I almost reach out like I used to, but I don’t think he’d appreciate that.”

“True. Have you at all confronted or discussed the affair since it happened with Addison?”

Mark shakes his head, “We…we slept together once after…when Gabriel was around, I think….”

“How did that turn out?”

“When I woke up beside Addison, I remembered the night of the affair,” he replies, “and all I could think about was his face when I saw him again at Seattle Grace —I couldn’t —we agreed never to do it again.”

“This agreement was mutual?”

“Yeah,” he nods, “I haven’t seen much of her anyway.”

“But given your job and circumstances, there will come a time for you to interact with her,” Dr. Saltzman points out. Mark knows this; he and Addison’s specialties don’t correlate that often, but when they will, eventually.

In your next joint session, the topic of Addison is brought up again. Realistically, she can’t quit and love a hundred thousand miles away from either of you, and you can’t ignore her all that much at work if and when you have to work together.

“Since the usual options are out of the question, I suggest a meeting between the both of you, Addison and Derek.”

“Derek?” Mark interrupts, “What does he have to do with this?”

“He was also a betrayed spouse if you remember,” Dr. Saltzman responded, “he’s just as involved in this as both of you.”

“Isn’t that unfair?” You ask. “Derek looks happy; why should we drag him back into,” you gesture between you and Mark, “this?!”

“Would you rather it just be you, Mark, and Addison?”

Ah, so Derek would be a buffer for you, Mark watches as you catch on to the same train of thought, and your expression catches a slight hint of guilt. He wants to assure you it’s okay but doesn’t know if he should or if he’s allowed to. You both stand outside the building after the session ends; you stare at the sky for a second and take a deep breath before bidding Mark goodbye.

Mark isn’t looking forward to work the next day, he’s tempted to call in sick, but he doesn’t - slugging into Seattle Grace, the usual stares and whispers accompany him. “Good morning Dr. Sloan.”

“Good morning to you as well, Doctor,” he greets you. “How are you after yesterday?” You don’t usually exchange more than a brief greeting, but Mark thinks he should at least ask after you; your response is twofold - first, your expression is shocked, then tired, and second, you respond, voice laced with equal exhaustion.

“A little tired,” you reply, “should have called in sick.”

“I wish I had,” he remarks.

You respond to that with something of a snicker, shaking your head lightly. It’s not much, but Mark smiles a little in kind. Your happy snicker replays in his head long after that, and his memories decide to make an appearance - moments between the both of you start to replay, but only the happy moments, the kind that has the guilt trickling back in. When you smile at him again or talk to him without malice, he feels it amplify, accompanied by another feeling - fear. The same kind he’d felt when he’d woken up next to Addison the first time - what if he fucks it up again? There are moments where he asks himself if it's worth it, his part is far less painful than yours, and he wonders if it is better to cut this off and remain familiar acquaintances. But a selfish part of him doesn't want to let go; those feelings of inadequacy Dr. Saltzman had mentioned feel like they’re choking him. 

There are nights he considers just emptying his pockets at Jo’s, he almost does, but Jo practically shoves him out the door with a warning, “No drinks until you get yourself sorted out.”

He’d like to thank the man but is mildly irritated by the gesture; the temptation of losing himself in a drink or two isn’t quite as overpowering, unfortunately, so he opts for lying face-down on his couch. Which, of course, leads to him overanalyzing every little interaction between you and him.

You’re happy, he thinks, but would you be happier if he ended things? You had Gabriel, but that doesn’t look like it’s going anywhere, or could it? He can’t ask Gabriel, and he doesn’t know how you’d react if he asked you, so he shelves that away.

“What if he can never trust me again?”

Dr. Saltzman purses his lips, “While I hope it doesn’t come to that, you might have to continue assuring him long after reconciliation.” Mark feels himself deflate; he wants to cry, but why should he? He’s the reason things are like this in the first place. “As I’ve told you, communication is key, Mark. If you don’t feel like you can do that, then communicate that, and alongside that, be patient.”

“He was hurt; he may not feel ready to be intimate or close to you in any way, but that also applies to you. You may feel ready to be with him from the get-go, but guilt is a very powerful emotion. Don’t put your own needs on the back burner, either.”

“But I was the one that cheated —”

“Bending over backward is not the way to earn forgiveness,” Dr. Saltzman sternly reiterates.

Mark runs a hand down his face at the memory. He’d had the words practically at the forefront of his thoughts, “Bending over backward is not the way to earn forgiveness.”

“Bending over backward is not the way to earn forgiveness.”

“I don’t think I deserve a second chance.”

Dr. Saltzman does a pretty good job of keeping his face neutral enough to assure Mark, and curious enough to coax further details from him. He would love a second chance - to shower you in kisses, draw you close again, and just be able to be yours again - but he doesn’t feel like he deserves it - he’s had your expression practically printed in his mind. He can’t even begin to imagine what your expression must have been like when you’d gotten the news of his infidelity. 

“I think –I think he could do better,” he begins, “I’ve seen it, he’s amazing and kind, and any guy would be lucky to have him. I had him, and I fucked it up.” The words sound more like Gabriel’s than his, but it’s true.

“You’re a lucky man, Mark, a real lucky man. Congrats on the engagement,”

Maybe he should take up Estelle on her offer of conversation or something; aside from Dr. Saltzman, he hasn’t talked to anyone else about this - not that anyone’s gunning to be his shoulder to cry on. 

“Don’t make a decision for him either, Mark; you might think you’re in the right, but you won’t be.”

Easier said than done, the temptation to just drop off the face of the earth is tempting - you’d be free - the feeling surfaces during the next joint session. “Did you ever sleep with her before then?”

The answer’s no. He had never dreamt of it before then, and even with his words being true, he was not a fan of answering some of the questions. “Was she the only one?”

“Yes.”

Your eyebrows furrow and you appear doubtful, glancing away for a moment. “What happened that day?” Mark’s now confused; you know what happened, he says as much, “No, I mean, tell me what happened,” you demand.

Mark’s not proud that he ran out of the room; he’s not proud that he called in sick and practically lies face down in his bed. He was sure he’d be able to do this without stumbling over himself, but hearing you ask about the affair had somehow made his shut down - palms clammy and mind racing as he tried to find the words. He’d spoken of it before with you, but those conversations had been full of rage, and he’d only ever had to divulge as little information as you could bare, but now, you were demanding everything. He thinks most of it is tucked away somewhere in his mind; he’s even less proud of the fact that he calls up Addison for the first time in who knows how long. 

They meet up at some cafe out of town, miles from you, Derek, and anyone else that might think they’re reconciling. Addison looks downcast, picking at her nails as she glances anywhere but him, “We need to talk.” There’ll be another talk besides this, with you involved, but this one’s more to help Mark, help him piece everything together and have it ready for when you ask him again.

“He asked me to tell him everything about that night,” he begins, and Addison lets out a shaky breath. “But I ran away —I —Addison, I need your help to —” There’s no easy way to ask your affair partner to help you piece everything about said affair so that your betrayed partner gets an answer with no contradictions. 

“We slept in mine and Derek’s room….”

They go over minor details repeatedly, details he’d never thought to have been important; he types it all down and makes a copy in case the original is lost. He reads it over and over again - until the words are intertwined in his thoughts until they paint his eyelids, and they’re all he can see when he blinks.

End Note:

This chapter was the death of me istg. Stay Hydrated.

[shit-talk-turner]

I’m a psychologist. I’ve met many men who have a hard time showing love. I constantly see people who label them as autistic or cold which only fuels harmful stereotypes. Stop diagnosing celebrities. Outside of my professional work, I’m a huge Arctic Monkeys fan. I saw them live multiple times and was lucky enough to spend some time in their social circle. I’ve lost count on how many times I’ve cringed reading this blog. Gossiping is a part of human nature and I absolutely understand the concept of this whole thing, I didn’t come here to ruin the party. I see the entertainment value even though I’m probably way older than most participants. I absolutely love the open mindedness of the blog owner and her objection against things like: misogyny, fetishizing someone’s sexual orientation, bodyshaming, doxing and other venomous behaviors that are unfortunately, very common in the fandom. I wanted to take a moment to express my gratitude because I’m someone who devotes their entire existence to fight stigma and spread awareness of said topics. On the other hand, I had a pretty good laugh on here reading some of your humorous fashion takes, linguistic jokes and biting satire of the French culture. Pointing out the absurd of current social media trends is also something worth mentioning! Kudos to you because you definitely have a fascinating personality, rich sense of humor and some unique aura in your ways of responding that kinda made me addicted to this blog. Believe or not but I work with famous individuals and understanding their complex minds and relationships dynamics is a big part of my daily routine. I understand witticism but one thing I’ve noticed here keeps bothering me and it’s the main reason I decided to leave a comment….I keep seeing this callous and tranquil attitude towards heartbreak and the general difficult nature of romantic relationships. Now this is the part where I turn into a lame boomer and despite my private connections to people whose problems are the core of your entertainment, I try to stay as objective as possible. No one asked but it truly saddens me to see how much ignorance, misinformation and forms of sadism are being normalized within the fan community. And it’s often only because someone doesn’t meet your expectations of what you consider a „healthy relationship”. I hate(big word but it’s mandatory here) how easily you jump to conclusions with so little information. Like the lack of smile or physical touch in candid photos are being basically treated as diagnostic criteria. Or someone’s stage presence and theatrical mannerism is being called „autistic” without hesitation. The overall lack of education here is constantly showing. Sometimes it feels like you hate your idol, constantly trying to get your dirty hands on the most intimate aspects of his life…and do you really think this type of energy is innocent? Or don’t you see how pathetic it is to literally wait for someone’s heart break because it provides content and the awful egomaniac side of you needs to prove something? And you try to justify all of this because someone has made some mistakes in the past. So, you create a whole image of a possibly complex person by taking little scraps from their social media activity. I know how ridiculous it will sound but please, imagine educated professionals building someone’s entire psychological portrait using very short and blurry videos from parties and concerts. Oh lord. Someone’s awkwardness or dancing skills determine if they’re worthy of love? Whaaaaat? There are so many beautiful and powerful ways of communicating love or forming connection that will never be visible through the lens of an online platform. People have so many personalities and ways of conveying emotions. Not everything has to be obvious or clear. The lack of enthusiasm in body language is not always depression or unhappiness. Our past mistakes don’t reflect our true identity. Imagine yourself being judged by old Facebook posts! This absurdity kills me.

We two are individuals that work with people and understand the importance of relationships and how deep a humans personality goes. Of course we understand no one here (including us) can know everything about these people or what goes on in their lives. Thats why we keep our speculation and shit talk here and don’t take it to their social media profiles or something. We’re not wishing for anyone’s downfall but we do love gossiping about AM and right now, the well is dry, so yes a break up would be content. Notice how we’re not doing anything to bring it about. Just waiting for whatever content we’re going to get so we can enjoy it as is. We also welcome anyone to judge us based on our own social media, past and present (though obviously we’re maintaining our anonymity) because nothing in our past is as misogynistic or racist like some of the people we discuss here. Thanks for being here and for your thoughts

[hoenn-hakase]

Summertime Confessions

[Just a bit of quiet time as they sit while hanging out on Route 118]

Aya: 

Terra, do you like me? 

Terra: 

[Snaps to attention as she wasn't expecting that] Of course! I just… um… 

Aya: 

[Giggles. Terra is so cute when flustered, so she leans in] Do you want me~?

Terra: 

[Hesitant] Yes, but…

Aya:

Then what's the problem? Look at you blushing like a schoolgirl. 

Terra: 

That's precisely the problem! I… I'm not a schoolgirl. [Lowers her face] Not anymore. It's, just… It's too complicated. I can't be with you in good faith, my whole existence is a mess! 

Aya: 

It’s just a silly phrase, Terra. I didn’t know it would upset you. [Frowns. This isn't going at all like she thought it would, and now she's concerned by the serious tone.] Honestly, there’s a lot I still don’t know about you. But since you get so touchy, I have to wonder… [Holds up her hands to show she means no harm but just HAS to ask] You don't have to try to tell me everything about you at once. I just thought, you know… Can you not trust me with even a little of it? You have so many secrets, I sometimes feel like I hardly know you. 

Terra: 

Exactly. I don't want to be known. [Tries to ease up] I decided to stay in Hoenn because I feel like I can truly get away from all of that. I spent a lot of time trying to find out who I was, but now I just need some time to figure out who I want to be. All anyone needs to know is that I like gardening, but I still get excited with technology. I find I enjoy the quiet after all the rush of the last five years I remember. And I… [shifts awkwardly] I sometimes wish our paths didn't cross so often, because you make it very difficult to ignore my feelings for you. I care for you, but that doesn’t mean I think I should be with you. Not like how you’re implying at least. 

Aya: 

[slight huff of indignance] And how do you plan to get a fresh start when you're letting your past keep you from enjoying things? If you really do like me, then we can start off slow. [Takes both her hands in her own, feeling her tremble as she looks into her eyes] If whatever happened in your past really was so terrible, I want to help you through it. But…. If you don't want to tell me, you can't expect me to understand why you keep rejecting me. Tell me just one thing, just ONE thing. Anything you choose. [Softens as her heart aches] Please? 

Terra: 

[Seeing the pain this is causing Aya, sickens her with guilt. The ninja has a point. Deep breath] Alright. [Lets out the extra air. She's not really sure how to explain now that she thinks about it. It's just too weird.] The first thing you should know is that… I have no past. Search any book, check any records, you won't find anything about me. [She can see Aya’s nose scrunch up as she's trying to figure out what that means] I'm not sure how to tell you this. But… [There's a long pause as she can see her friend is still waiting] You could say I'm from another world. My world ended, possibly a long time ago- I don't know! My brother who you met… [sighs] A bit of a lie, too. The two boys you first met with me, we're all from the same place. We were all lost in the Void as the world was being reborn. I know you and I are basically the same age, but I feel ancient. I come from another era in more ways than one. I do really like you, but it… It feels… wrong? I'm too old to be with someone like you. [Saddened] Too out of place to be with anyone... If that makes any sense. [Pulls her hands away] And it's not even that! [Rises to her feet in frustration as she takes a few steps away from her, looking out along the river as it calmly rolls by.] I know Forrest told me not to let it get to me, but I can't. [A bit of a short laugh] He's worse than I am, but… maybe that's why it gets to me. He’s probably used to this feeling by now, and I’m… … … 

Aya: 

[This is all very much NOT anything she expected when she asked, and tries to wrap her mind around it. She could make a joke how all she wanted to know were some of the small things like favorite color or places Terra had visited before, but this was too off the cuff to be making jokes about.] I don't think I understand…. Are you saying you're not human? …What?! [Gets to her feet as well. She's concerned more than anything.] 

Terra: 

[Scoffs. Not at Aya, more at herself as it sounds so ridiculous. Absolute madness. Her voice grows weary as she's gone over it in her mind so many times, it seems tired.] Some days, I wonder… Even before the world ended, my existence was a mess. [There's something soothing in watching the water, the constant flow in all the same direction. Time was often said to be like the river. One goes upstream or downstream, that's all it can be. Except…] My world was unstable by the time I was Chosen. Time itself had started to unravel and things of the past and future were all pouring into the present. I had a fresh start then. Completely blank. [Finally looks back at her. Aya had only asked her for one thing, but she can’t help it. Getting to tell someone, someone she felt so safe with, it just comes spilling out] I didn't know what I had. I was so desperate to find out who I was, I wasn't prepared for the answer. I don't really want to get into it all, but… I am a prisoner of Time itself. Maybe part of me is scared to get close to you because I may lose everything again. You could say this is my third lifetime now, and if I were to fall to my fate again, then what? Would I have a fourth and another lost love to regret? What if I'm made to be alone? That, because of my actions in that first life, I'm… I'm… I'm just condemned to be miserable? Memories stacked upon memories until I can't go on? I sometimes feel like Death has found some cruel delight in not taking me when it should have several times over now! [Her voice breaks slightly as she looks at Aya. Sweet, confused, disturbed Aya.] I don't just like you. I think I love you. But I couldn't ask you to have to deal with all this. I'm a mess! An absolute wreck! [Hand over her face as she feels the tears welling up and tries to fight it.] 

Aya:

[Honestly, it still doesn't make much sense, but in the instant Terra starts crying, she rushes over to her. Wraps one arm about Terra's shoulders, pulling her close, while her other hand takes Terra’s free hand and guides her back to where they'd been sitting] Now don't be ridiculous. You're not the one asking me to deal with this! I'm the one who was asking to be with you. That's why I can't understand why you're pushing me away. [Helps Terra to sit back down and lets her cry into her shoulder as she wraps both arms around her now.] Shhhh…. I may never know what exactly you're caught up in, but… [Gently bites her lip as she debates if she should dare to make such a promise] I'll wait. Whenever you're ready, I'll wait. 

=+=

[After Sapphire crisis events] 

Aya: 

You know… [Comes up beside Terra.] I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said. Back when you tried to tell me about your, um, unusual situation? 

Terra:

[Tenses up a moment as she looks at her, and blushes a bit] I told you I’m a mess. I shouldn’t have made such a scene about it.

Aya:

[Shakes her head] No, no. You didn’t bother me or anything, just… It sounds like a lot. Past lives and such, it must be confusing. 

Terra:

It’s not technically like a new life each time, it’s really… 

Aya: 

[Waves her off] I don’t care. [Slight giggle and gives a shrug at Terra’s confused face] You’re worried about some judgment or implication or something, I really do not care. Maybe someday I’ll understand all of this, but all I know for sure right now is… [Takes both her hands in hers as she looks her in the eye] You said you love me. And [gosh this was harder than she thought it would be as she feels her throat try to hold her back] And I want to be with you. You’re worried you may have to, to, to go away again, well… Then I’ll go with you. Back in the Seafloor Cavern, it felt like the worst thing ever had suddenly happened and being in the heart of the storm, I just… I wished I could find you. I don’t know why, but I suddenly thought of you, and my family, and my friends, and… And the last time I had seen you, I knew you were close. If anything had happened to you-! I didn’t want to lose you! [There’s a long pause as she sees the shock in Terra’s eyes and immediately averts her own towards the ground] I’m being very selfish right now. I said I’d wait for when you were ready, but I… I need you to know what you mean to me! Because, if only for a short time, I realized I may never get the opportunity again like I have right now. 

Terra:

[Pulls one hand away, but gently brings the other to her lips to give a kiss to the back of Aya's hand. Aya glances at her in surprise, and Terra tries to give her a soft smile] I know exactly how you feel. 

Aya:

[A bit sourly as she shies away again] Like when you lost your first love at the end of the world? [Glances back just long enough to see the frown on the Time Traveler’s face.] You somewhat implied last time that I’m not your first.

Terra:

No. [She lets go of her hand and watches Aya cross her arms to keep her from taking it back. Hesitates as she debates how to put it.] There was a woman, I guess you could say back in my first life. But we broke up because of me. I was [clicks tongue at herself] I pushed her away. I pushed everyone away. Like I’m pushing you away, I guess. It ended badly. I left her long before our world fell apart. [Sighs as she starts to walk again] I was driven by my pride and my ambition, but… at the end of it all, all I had was myself, and only myself to blame for it. And when fate or karma or what have you decided to come for me, there was no one left to save me. I’ve had many lessons since then, friends, family, other Hosts, but old habits are hard to change. I don’t want to be alone, and yet, I don’t think I fully comprehend how to stop pushing everyone away. [Looks back and sees that look of pity from Aya again. Comes back to her, tempted to take her in her arms again, but stops herself short as she lets her hands sink down to fold in front of her. Ahem.] I was really scared, you know. As soon as I realized you were out there in that storm, I felt something like I haven’t felt before. When the world was breaking apart, I was terrified for my friends, and coming to peace with my own possible end, but the thought of losing you hit like I can’t explain. I had to be there. I had to do something. If anything had happened to you, I swear to you this region would have seen the Dark God’s wrath. Let me tell you-! [Actually, maybe she shouldn’t. As concerned as she was, she feels like maybe she’s scaring the girl when suddenly, Aya was laughing at her. Terra was being dead serious, but here she was laughing at her! Terra finds herself starting to grin in relief.] You get my point. 

Aya: 

I guess we’re both a mess then. [Holds out her hand to offer again, and the pair start to stroll towards Lilycove again] I have the weirdest feeling things aren’t over yet, unfortunately. 

Terra:

Probably not, knowing my luck. But, if it should ever be so bad again [struggling a bit] … Will you… help me? I really don’t like being alone. I’ve come to notice over the years I don’t fare so well when left to my own devices very long. 

Aya:

If another Titan gets out, you couldn’t stop me. [They walk for a little while in silence, enjoying the cool ocean breeze wafting from somewhere unseen yet. There’s a few berry trees along the road though, and they stop to take a break under the shade.] This is going to sound absolutely ridiculous, positively sappy, but I had a thought. 

Terra:

[Amused as she plucks a couple of berry and goes to sit down beside her] It can’t be anything weirder than I’ve shared. 

Aya:

Well, it’s about that. [Takes one and starts twisting the stem off] You said you may have been cursed by Time where you can’t die, but what if… [hard swallow] Maybe you and I were meant to meet. If you really were from some “bygone era” or whatever, maybe the gods found a way for you to be here, like this, right now. So we could be together. [Leans on her shoulder and takes a bite] So we can have moments like this. So you don’t have to be alone anymore. 

Terra: 

[Quietly thinks on this as she finishes her own. There’s a peace in the world in moments like this. Just the distant bird calls and sweet tropical scent of the fruit trees surrounding them. Even if some part of her mind still felt Aya was wrong, that there really was more to it than that, whatever point to it there was could be ignored for now. Enjoy the moment. There will be plenty of time to worry about the future later. Wraps an arm around Aya’s shoulders to hold her close as she rests her head against hers] I think I’d like that. I’d like that very much.

~~~~~~~~

A/N: I've been obsessed with Terra since Randomized Violet+ so for her to come back as the Super Gauntlet Ruby just makes me happy. It's also kind of funny that I thought RS would wrap up with Terra finally getting her happy ending, but the SG anniversary has been full of cameos and Host interactions, so Terra has continued to travel the regions with Aya since then. I love these two so much. <3

I originally thought these two scenes would be part of my longer novel with them, but it's gonna be forever before I get to those scenes and it may change. So have it now because why not?

[sarahfeliciam]

The Ultimatum Ch 26

Chapter 26

The cottage was quiet and frankly, dismal. 

Emeline had returned home with Remus two days prior and to her surprise, they had not spoken since. She wasn’t sure how they even arrived home, when she thought on it. The travel back was a total blur and she had been in such a stupor absorbing this information and watching her father essentially ignore her, that she didn’t have much expression in her. 

She had not cried, she had not screamed… they both were simply existing at present. 

Sirius found it incredibly unnerving.

He had tried to pull information out of them, owl-ed Harry, and lightened the mood in every way he could, but they were not budging. Harry was despondent and he desperately wanted him here with them, but he was mentally in so many directions right now and Harry wasn’t very talkative either, understandably so.

 Sirius did find out one thing: he knew nothing of what transpired between Emeline and Remus outside of Cedric Diggory’s death, though he had seen them leave with Severus.

Sirius was at present seated on the couch in animagus form and Emeline gave him a pat on the head as she walked by. She had a book tucked under her arm and today’s jar of Wolfsbane potion in her hand. Sirius let out a low howl of ‘good luck’ and she headed to the basement, where Remus had been spending most of the last two days. It was dark aside for the candlelight and she could just make out his frame sitting on the old bed in the cellar. He was staring off out the small window, not breaking his gaze with the moon that would be full in two more days time. 

“Dad?” She asked gently, pushing the door completely open and stepping inside. She sat at his feet and held up his potion.

“You haven’t taken it today.” She continued quietly, arm shaking slightly as she waited for him to respond to her in any way.

He turned his head very slowly toward her, his face so painfully forlorn and pale. She tried to hide her emotions: the shocked breath she wanted to suck in, her trembling hands and racing heart; her wondering how much he still cared for her… she sighed, knowing he could feel it. 

His sad eyes met hers, but not for long.

“I don’t deserve to.” He mumbled. She barely caught what he said.

“What?” She asked breathlessly. “I don’t understand, you told me this was for safety. Why wouldn’t yo-“

“In part,” he replied angrily, gritted teeth. “But the sanity keeps me safe, too.” His voice saddened again. “I deserve whatever the wolf does.”

Emeline slowly set the jar down on the floor with a clink of glass against stone. She pulled out the book from under her arm and moved closer to him. When he didn’t flinch, she responded.

“I found these; my baby pictures. I thought you’d might like to see them.”

She felt the back and forth in her soul:

Angry. Sad. Angry. Sad. Angry

“I don’t.” He replied, still staring out the window.

“Dad?” She was on the verge of tears now, bound and determined for him to break this wall. 

She never knew he could be so cold.

“Do you see the pain this is causing you?” He asked in a whisper.

“This?!” She yelled, exasperated, taking him by surprise. “Not this! You! You’ve chosen to be unable to look me in the eye!” Her tears were flowing freely now and he sighed heavily, rubbing his eyes with a tired hand. 

“Emeline, not now.” He groaned.

“Yes now!” She shouted, standing abruptly. “You’re being completely careless with yourself and me and it’s unacceptable! This affects me, dad! And here you are making it all about you!” 

She felt the sting in her heart but couldn’t be bothered to mind that it hurt him. She knew he needed a wake up call and wasn’t sure anyone had ever given him one whilst deep in his pit of self loathing. 

She knew this affliction was hard for him, but she had never expected to be shunned to this degree. Him turning her away at the hospital wing last year was enough - but this far into their relationship? 

His resolve was crumbling and she twisted her face in determination to remain sound instead of responding more emotionally to his shaking shoulders.

Then she heard it.

He was crying.

She sat right next to him, leaning her head on his shoulder as his trembling shook her. His tears were mostly silent, but his fear and shame had him sick. 

“Don’t cry.” She said quietly. “We can manage this if you don’t cut me out.”

“M-manage!” He shouted, and it made her jump momentarily. She lifted her head and found his eyes, tears still streaming down his scarred cheeks and slight madness pulling from his soul. “I can either offer you premature death or a cursed life! How do you recommend we manage that, Emeline!”

“You aren’t even allowing this to be my choice.” She ventured softly, not breaking his stare. “This affects me. I get a say.”

“That may be true,” he forced out. “But no matter what you choose I could never infect my own daughter!”

“You don’t have to.”

His eyes darkened. 

“Emeline Mara Lupin, what are you saying?”

“Professor Snape said I’ll be able to sense out other wolves. It should be easy during a moon.” She stood calmly, picking up the Wolfsbane and holding it precariously above the ground. “And there’s nothing you can do to stop my decision, not if this is how you want to treat your only child who’s now been handed the same ultimatum you were: life or death.”

Remus stood and snatched the potion from her before she could drop it, eyeing her warily. 

“Emeline, don’t be cruel.” 

He felt the fire of her crushed soul in his own at the word and immediately regretted it.

“Cruel?” She scoffed. “What you’re doing is cruel. Throwing my emotions to the waste side: that’s cruel. I’m not cruel for my own decisions and being a werewolf isn’t cruel, either. Your behavior is!” 

“Not cruel! How could I allow this fate to befall my daughter?” He yelled. “The moon sinks out and every bone breaks! Recovery takes days, sometimes weeks. The pain is unbearable and the fear is maddening. It’s shameful and disgusting and I could never willingly walk you to that life!”

“What of me, then? What if you die?” Her voice cracked at the words and Remus’ heart broke. He had never felt this type of emotional pain before.

 It felt all-consuming. 

Is that what losing him felt like to her? 

“Emeline,” his voice came a level down in softness. “What do you want to do with your life?”

She stood shocked for a moment, unsuspecting of this shift in conversation. 

Just days before, she had pictured such a lovely holiday, perhaps discussing this all with her father - loving his advice and anxious to see what he thought of her desires. 

Hopeful to see if he thought she could achieve them. 

She looked down at her bare feet and kicked at some stray hair.

“Well, I want to be a Healer.” She looked up slowly, nervously awaiting his response.

“You can forget it.” 

She blinked rapidly in confusion with tears falling, opening and closing her mouth a few times in an attempt to find words. 

“If you are like me,” he enunciated every word hard, moving to stand right in front of her, the moon shining against his face. “You will never live out that dream. You will never be accepted for any position half as prestigious and fulfilling as that. How can a monster heal anybody?” 

“This isn’t you talking.” She replied, tears falling as she backed up. 

He followed her, watching intently.

“Then who?” He cocked an eyebrow. “My monster? We are the same!” He shouted, sending shivers down her spine. “Do you get it now? You cannot separate this torture! I am a monster, Emeline and I will not allow you to be!”

He felt sick. 

The moon was partially taking over, but his all-encompassing fear and distress was also speaking. 

He was terrified for his daughter. 

Embarrassed, ashamed, hopeless. 

An emotion came through that he wasn’t expecting though, and it overtook the beast entirely, begging his rightful demeanor to come out. 

But it was too late.

Betrayal.

“Werewolf or not, I could never treat my child so vile! How dare you tell me what I will or will not amount to, you’ve been nowhere near me until a year ago! I thought I knew you now!” 

“Emeline.” His heart was racing and his body shook as he snapped out of it. 

“How you’ve spoken to me is monstrous,” she finished. “And ironically, Moony is nowhere in sight. This was all you!” 

“Pup.” He begged, moving to grab her hand.

“Don’t! Don’t call me that, don’t look at me!”  

She ran for the door and it shut quickly with a wave of his hand. 

“Let me go.” She cried. 

“Please, just listen.” He pleaded, she shook his hand off her again. 

“I don’t want to hear another word! I’m leaving.” She tore out her own wand and the door slammed open. “Don’t try to die while I’m gone.” She shot back, slamming the cellar behind her.

As she ran up the stairs, tears shrouding her vision, she hardly realized Sirius was in human form again and was listening at the door. 

Though not always the physically affectionate type, he pulled on her sleeve kindly. 

“I know where you can go for the night.” He said quietly, and they disappeared with a small pop. 

Author’s Note: this chapter hurt so badly, but it would be uncharacteristic for Remus to take this in stride when his daughter’s life/ wellbeing is at stake (because of him, so he feels). Where do you think Sirius is taking her? 😉 

[ironwoodprotectionsquad]

*crashes in, late to the talk of Culture/world building in RWBY* Sorry I'm late but OMG Can we talk about the biggest flaw in rwby WB that is just all of it when we get the Salem Backstory?! Like lets say we ignore Light being a hypocrite that makes even the Greek gods look better just by 'lets not allow one life to come back but i'm ok with WIPING OUT EVERYONE ELSE'. Lets talk about the ruins that were left behind! Wouldn't they and any items of magic (given that magic was only taken from flesh but if Enchanted Items existed they'd last a really long while) be apart of the culture? The Last humans didn't get to go 'oh btw we got nuked lol' so wouldn't there be questions about it? Like Ex: Mass effect had a race of beings that were highly advance then suddenly POOF! gone! noone knows where they went or what happened to them, only their structures and lil bits of tech remain. Remant would've had that! Then you got Salem who was being a Tryant (Tyrant who didn't get there fully) during their fight with Oz, so what happened to that?! Like ik humans now a days barely want to remember anything that doesn't aid their cause but we seem to remember a good chunk of the horrible people in history who did things for various reasons. So surely Salem was in the history books as the Cruel Queen, right?! Tapestries, old tales, cruel yet intresting sculptures, anything! She had the biggest way to flip the god of light off and didn't take it?! And if Oz gave up during certain amounts of time why didn't she 'unite' the world her way to help prevent Oz's actions moving forward? Groups that could be Salem's Lot that prevent the finding/obtaining of Relics so Oz's inner circle couldn't get to them easily. If RWBY was given the same TLC, Passion, and Soul as any other hit series We'd have our answers, and the four coteninets that seem to matter would have some beautiful mixture of all cultures despite the flaws of each one. Hell I'd love to see a Roman structure built with the same Material as the the Lost City in Mistral, Vale having a way to balance out the various cultures that came through from times of war while still having parts of it self that says 'I am Vale, through and Through' and what saddens me is my head can only go 'Sand! its everywhere! Get used to it!' for Vacuo because they made it seem so. with I believe 1 oasis...I might be wrong its been abit. Atlas-or rather Solitas- could've been Viking theme with bits of other warrior cultures with the main though it 'Tough times brings out the Strong' or something of that nature due to the cold being so harsh even Grimm can't withstand it, and as it progressed to Mantle and Atlas it still head that believe/culture but its more of a 'teach but not done' as the new tech made lives abit easier. I still see Menagerie as Australia just due to its position on the world so i can't think of much for it right now.

Sorry for the long rant. It was one of those things I had to get off because its nuts we went through not 1, not 2, but 3 kingdoms but held very little that could only be described as Lazy cause they knew we weren't going to explore the world and everything was just quick décor in a mario lvl of old.

First off never ever apologize for long asks I love the and I should apologize to well everyone for being slow as shit to reply to them.

Unfortunately, RW//BY suffers from a severe case of the writing is written by the writers flying by the seat of their pants and it shows. We have no hints of humanity existing before the gods killed them all. No signs of the worship of Salem which really should be a thing given she and Ozma acted as gods to humanity 2.0 and Salem killed Ozma before he could do anything about it so she realistically should have continued that cult following telling people his husband betrayed her or whatever sewing the seeds of distrust towards him and all of his reincarnations. Their is just so much that realistically should have happened with Salem that....didn't because the writers didn't bother to put in the work, they didn't build up the world realistically or have this big plan like they claim and the lack of consistent or realistic world building shows that.

Each of the kingdoms should have their own cultures and foods and religions and languages even. They should feel distinct and unique from one another while also still feeling like they all belong to the same world. Haven not having the same tech as Beacon feels jarring. As RW//BY traveled the world they should have repeatedly felt out of place in whatever kingdom they where in because they don't know the culture or customs within the world. We should have them struggling to communicate with people who speak different languages, or at least establish that after the great war everyone learned a single language to allow for communication between the kingdoms.

Sorry back to your point. When Salem killed Ozma the first time, she should have amassed a massive following of worshipers who hated their goddess's treacherous husband. She should have made a mad run for the relics to gain control of them before Ozma could. Their should have been a battle happening for a long ass time over them. Their should be some sort of reason why Salem wasn't causing mass chaos for decades before the events of RW//BY. This war should be much more known about then it is and it doesn't make sense within current cannon why it isn't more known. To hide Salem's existence he should have had to do something to strip her of her strength and influence but we have no evidence of any of that. We have no reason to believe that Salem hasn't bothered to try for the relics until now and that is most definitely a major problem. For example in ATLA, we know the Fire Nation couldn't enact it's ultimate plan because they had to wait for Sozin's comet to return. We have an in universe reason for what has been holding the Fire Nation back until now. RW//BY just doesn't have something like that built in to explain Salem choosing to hide and not acting until now.

I just cannot fathom why CRWBY/fans try and insist that this show has been planned since the beginning with so much evidence that it wasn't and couldn't have been. We have incomplete and contradictory world building, story lines that where never set up. Story lines that where dropped and conflicting canon information and it is just beyond infuriating.

[jane-d-ankh-veos]

about your last post: i think alot of the players of the fl community just have a very strong stereotype of what people of certain ethnicities might look like, and when a character of that race, ethnicity, or religion doesn't look like their idea of what they envisioned, they ignore it or claim it as a form of racism (see also: discussions surrounding may from motr)

This is a little different, because almost none of the hate that I've seen was towards the character design – except for May, YES, and for some reason Griz (whose more modern not-Victorian-lady style is directly relevant to her story and personality, not developers’ oversight of anachronisms! Just why there is this unexplicable malicious urge to make them look careless or ill-intentioned when they’re one of so very few game studios who are honestly striving to be the opposite?..)

It’s usually about the plot and worldbuilding, and it’s repeatedly getting twisted out of context. For example, FL's and MotR's wonderful cultural and spiritual diversity is completely ignored in arguments regarding it. Evil writers had the audacity to acknowledge the existence of just one more religion, and suddenly nothing else matters, now it's bad by default (exactly just like other games’ players always get mad at extra romance options because "how dare you imply that my character may be queer", hello BG3). Such intolerance to any mention of a particular group/identity definitely isn't what I expected from the fanbase of a setting that is known for its inclusivity, that’s why it really baffled and saddened me.

So I’m not surprised anymore that so much more gets deliberately skewed or ignored too. As always, people don't want to give evidence-based criticism and fair analysis; they simply want to justify their spite.

I wish just for once fandoms would be dedicated to actually loving and enjoying something together instead of endless hostility towards each other and the authors and even the canon itself...

[sophianikolai]

༒༒༒One Year༒༒༒

One year since I entered the gates of Christ’s Church—the Catholic Church.

I haven’t publicly shared my journey in this way yet—not due to any hesitancy in my decision, but because I understand it may be offensive to my Protestant brothers and sisters. When one holds a distorted view of Catholicism (unfortunately, most Protestants do, through no fault of their own, but due to hundreds of years of subtle anti-Catholic agendas perpetuated in Protestantism), it feels like a tragedy when a fellow evangelical converts. I want to remain sensitive to this while also standing firm in my decision. Most of all, I want to emphasize that I absolutely cherish my Christian upbringing; I believe my Protestant heritage is significantly responsible for my fire for Jesus. I have not lost this fire as I have journeyed home to Rome; rather, it has been ignited even stronger through the sacraments

Those in my circle knew me as quite anti-Catholic, so this switch seems startling to some. It may not be easily realized, but there exists a subtle anti-Catholic rhetoric woven into the very fabric of Protestantism. It may not always be overt from the pulpit, but it’s often the elephant in the room in many churches, Bible studies, and sermons. After all, Protestantism literally means “to protest”—it was conceived from the strongest spirits of anti-Catholicism to ever exist (former Catholic men who turned on the faith: Luther, Calvin, Zwingli, etc.). It saddens me that so many Protestants are trapped in a cycle of believing blatant lies about the Catholic faith. Oftentimes, Protestants have this idea: “Catholics might be saved, in spite of their Catholicism!” This was my mindset. But what if that isn’t true? What if the fullness of the Christian faith is found in the Catholic Church, and we’ve just been told lies about it? This was the monumental question I asked myself that set me on a two-year journey of passionate investigation.

At the end of the day, I had to follow Christ into truth, regardless of how much I lost along the way. There was nothing attractive about it. My conversion wasn’t pretty; it was extremely humbling and humiliating. It was two years of trudging through a soul-rattling, mentally exhausting process—what felt like an insuperable task. Many of my days were spent literally vomiting in the toilet as I read the Church Fathers, ecumenical documents, and listened to Catholic debates and apologetics. The more I read, the more I waded through cognitive dissonance and realized, “Holy moly, this stuff is TRUE!” Even though I did NOT want it to be. Realizing that the early church looked ENTIRELY different from my modern day church service… & astonishingly Catholic..It was a sobering realization, but slowly and surely my heart let go of my Protestant presuppositions and began to burn towards Catholicism as its beauty flooded me with the fullness of Christ. You mean to tell me, that Christian’s had a Catholic view of the Eucharist that was consistent for 1500 years before the reformation ? I gradually realized, “Oh my, this entire time... I really knew absolutely nothing about what Catholics actually believe.” I recognized that I was just regurgitating anti-Catholic sentiments that have existed since Martin Luther. At the same time, my frustration with a fragmented version of Christianity (Protestantism and its 100+ denominations) grew too large to ignore. I finally opened up the Catechism, and lo and behold, it wrecked me with beauty. I began to crave the Eucharist; I craved the sacraments. I was seeing how biblical Catholic theology was. I realized that converting wouldn’t cause me to lose anything at all from my Protestantism; rather, I was gaining so much now as a Catholic.

Before signing off, I want to acknowledge the very real observation that there are many on-fire Protestants and a lot of nominal Catholics walking around our world. This is a stumbling block for many. “How can you tell me that those unenthusiastic people at Catholic Mass are in the right church, while these Protestants over there are praising Jesus every Sunday and living their lives on fire? After all, won’t we know them by their fruits?” I’d say this: “Is objective truth determined by our experiences?” Let us not determine truth based on the behavior of people. If that were the case, when Judas apostatized, would the disciples not have left? A well-catechized Catholic whose life is entrenched in the sacraments is a force to be reckoned with, let me tell you. One of my favorite quotes is by Fulton Sheen: “There are not 100 Catholics who hate the Catholic Church. But there are millions who hate what they perceive the Catholic Church to be.”

I am Catholic because it is true. The Mass is transcendent. I have gained so much: the Mother of God and her very real intercession, the real presence of Christ in the Eucharist, the tangible forgiveness of sins in confession, and the communion of saints. I have fallen more in love with the Jesus who established an enduring, visible Church, who meant it when he said, “The gates of hell will not prevail against it.” I came to see that a fragmented version of Christianity with countless disagreeing theologies could not be the fulfillment of that very simple promise. So, I packed my things and embarked on my journey home.

I am finally home.

If you’d ever like to talk about any of this, please reach out. It would be an absolute pleasure to converse with you.