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I suppose this is also why sometimes we are more forgiving towards fictional characters: we don't defend their crimes and vices as if IRL, we defend and justify what they represent for us (our grief, pain, bonds, desires, experiences...)

By the way, once someone asked me "why are there so many physicists and mathematicians among prominent philosophers and theologians?" and my first thought was "they weren't strangers to abstract thinking and symbolic logic".

I’m not a classicist, but I suspect one of the reasons so many of the Greek gods are portrayed so unflatteringly was less because they were seen as villains than because they represented their domains.  Of course Zeus sometimes misuses his power, that’s what a king does.  Of course Artemis’s wrath is wild and painful, that’s what nature can be.  Of course Hades snatched away a young girl from her mother’s arms, that’s what death does.  This is one of the reasons callout posts for some gods comparing them negatively to ‘nicer’ gods are kind of missing the point.

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Firmament's Beltane (totally not May) and Summer (totally not June).

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I've noticed that my FL OCs reflect my yearning to give kindness and affection to those who wouldn't respond with the opposite as usual and who need it. The Nostalgist's desire to love with all her heart or to protect allies and innocents with her knightly sword; the Pirate's bond with an eldritch being who may be distrustful and far from good but still can't bear everything alone, especially being not used to be so; the Grosmeister's lack of memories of any friends and family that creates a void which he fills with these two.

Whatever Dr Schlomo has to say about it, they already know and won't listen.

I always think "in a cruel world, compassion is a form of rebellion", so probably no wonder that my Revolutionary Trio turned out like this.

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Goodness, Firmament's Burgundy chapter is one breathtaking ride of a roleplaying experience for my FL character.

(SPOILERS)

How can I refuse to help the Calendar Council, real or not? Besides, it's even closer to success than the real one. So wonderful, so tempting... But I lock eyes with the Manager and instantly remember that wonderful and tempting things make perfect traps. Suddenly I hesitate to trust them; I never thought I would. And then not-May (usually so secretive, cryptic, inexplicit and guarded) is all "haha, isn't it funny that we'll have to slay our counterparts in your world, am I right?" before being hushed:

So is it an intentional warning? "I am told we are acquainted outside of this place" – told by whom? Could it be by his other self, who is very likely to keep an eye on all his reflections in dreams and memories that never were? And here is June by my side, so she must know, and the real Council must know through her, too... What game are you playing, darlings? And how the hell should I act in this dilemma? Hmm...

And then I screwed it up unintentionally anyway 😁 By choosing Mr Iron (its Mr Sacks doesn't trust the Bazaar, after all, and the option itself explicitly mentions that it turned on the rest of the Masters) over Mr Stones (who "commissioned a great many" Lowell's cages that are "forged from the principles that bind people to their positions in society" and doesn't seem like a potential revolutionary in other ways either, especially as a former Khan of Shackles). This logic failed me somehow. Hooray, I avoided becoming a traitor, I can blame their unclear requirements instead!

By the way, it's extra deliciously strange that I predicted May's connection with Beltane in my poem from 2020. I've never translated it to english (because poetry is a much harder challenge in this regard), so I doubt that FBG could have seen it. Wow.

Also, best crew ♥ω♥

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Overall I liked the Bachelor's prologue, despite the expected imperfections of an early demo.

Curious observations:

✦ Random appearances of fragments of quest descriptions on walls remind me of original Pathologic's Polyhedron: its textures were made of its own design sketches and game development docs, and I wonder if this idea aims in the same direction. (I hope it won't lead to something like "you were in the Polyhedron this whole time" at the end, but... well, actually, I'm ready for anything. Even clichés aren't boring when they are done well.)

✦ The mention of the Marble Nest caught me by surprise: wait a minute, how can Sticky remember another person's dying dream? Does it imply that we are in a similar one? I guess, both yes and no: yes, we are inside Daniil's mind again (because most of the current plot is presented as memories); yes, just like back then, it isn't real (still a theatre play and a game); yet no, it doesn't mean that it couldn't happen or that it was untrue (because dreams, supernatural elements and different narrative dimensions are a part of reality in this Town).

✦ Apathy's visual effects (black-and-white scratched film) are great in a double way: symbolic of memories + conveying derealization. Besides, movies are close kin to theatre.

✦ The "prohibit dying" option among Decrees looks like a possible penalty (because it takes up a free slot and some resources, but has no effects) for neglecting Daniil's mental health, yet I am almost sure that it will unlock something interesting later in the full game. (Perhaps I am simply too spoiled by Fallen London with its "if some option is obviously unwise, it may be rewarding in other ways, for example narratively".)

✦ Original Pathologic also had every single mirror in town shattered (delightfully mysteriously), so now it seems like it was our own doing all along... That is, the future Bachelor's.

Can't blame him, things get stressful when you have to be both a doctor and the Doctor...

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Each new Pathologic chapter makes "chimeras worshipped by our ancestors centuries ago crawl back into the light from ancient times" / "из доисторических времён выползают химеры, которым поклонялись наши предки много столетий назад" sound so self-describing. Yes, I remember ancient 2005...

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Saw an ermine. And it saw me.

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My favourite thing in Legends of Runeterra: giving Viktor a new glorious evolved army... of cats. Behold purrfection!

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Many thanks to Vik (and this great painting in particular) for reassuring me that sickly pallor can still be considered beautiful 🥹

Part 1

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♥ω♥

the first six months of the calendar

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Every time I tag my writing with "Platonic romance", I have a feeling like it implies the existence of Neoplatonic relationships as well 😁

...But this is not so silly, actually, because all my favourite complicated asexual romances usually include a lot of meddling with transcendent mysteries, indeed. "We should fuck reality instead".

...Wait a minute, I've just realized I must add jayvik to them.

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Indeed, I'd love to see more of it...

Recommendations off the top of my head:

Books: – The Gray House by Mariam Petrosyan;

Games: – SH2 remake really nailed it;

– Disco Elysium also struck a chord in me, even if it's just one location and simply melancholy rather than horror (although the Working Class Woman's quest is dark enough; I'd call it mundane horror, one that doesn't need to aim to scare or to be paranormal);

– The Medium's haunted abandoned resort building is a different kind of this, but a bit close.

😁 Same!

look, i love the the concept of house horror as much as everyone else on tumblr. but i can’t help but to think that it’s so… western-centric. what about all the post-soviet people who grew up and lived and died in apartment blocks. these places are haunted as fuck. the amount of trauma is immeasurable and so much can be done with this

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Just a few days ago I thought that a group of investigators of December's identity and plans (and maybe someone wants to find out whether they exist at all) would be a nice idea for a detective-oriented Concern. Now it's giving me an even better idea what if December is secretly their organizer.

(...Or, alternatively, it can be May, just like the HAD attempted here. And each of the detectives succeeds in digging into only one of his 4+ aliases, thinking that the rest are misled. Win by cooperating, accepting that there can be more than a single truth, and resisting numerous mind traps including the temptation of viewing your esteemed colleagues as bloody idiots. Lose by going insane.)

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Here it comes! Beauty ❤️

I'm far outside available shipping destinations, sadly, but I'm delighted nonetheless just by feasting my eyes on it.

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Winter is so much like a weird dream. Chilling in every sense.

Single-coloured cloudless starless sky, as if reality's background textures failed to load.

Complete silence, devoid of sounds of nature that used to infiltrate even the urban areas in summer.

Night, sometimes like a black void, sometimes unusually bright like some other world where there is neither sun nor darkness.

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Some people aggressively tried to convince me that it's 100% canon that the Hexcore has its own malicious will and fully controls Viktor, and, well... usually I'm only glad when there is a wide variety of theories – I love exploring them and can peacefully ignore those I don't agree with – but I really can't stand this kind of arguing. Leave others some freedom to have their own interpretations, please...

So, why persuading me into adopting this one is a waste of time and effort: I don't like that it deprives him of responsibility and meaningfulness of personally taking it. The mage admitted that he had chosen a wrong way and attempted to set it right, and this is such an admirable rare strength. It's an important part of his character: staying true to his "in the pursuit of great, we failed to do good" and desires to lessen humanity's suffering, his intentions were always for the best, so he is able to consciously renounce evil when he sees that the consequences betray his ethics. This requires immence willpower and intelligence. His own. He isn't simply cleaning up some unruly magical orb's mess after being its possessed puppet, he acts like a complex personality.

(Just imagine, for example, how boring BG3 would be if instead of its interesting vivid characters all the communication/flirting/teamwork was in fact happening only between their illithid tadpoles...)

Even the original Machine Herald, despite being devoted to the Glorious Evolution for a longer time and certainly not going to abandon it, is also capable of genuine self-introspection and honest abidance by what he thinks is right. (My precious ironclad cinnamon roll ❤️)

And then there is also fans' claim that the Arcane and magic itself is malevolent and corrupting, which is baffling me because there are so many magic users who aren't corrupted or ill-intentioned – Mel (if you need an example from the series first), yordles, other hextech wielders, Lux, Ryze, Nami, Karma and other Ionians, Zilean, Lillia, Targonians, Ezreal... It's just a tool that can be used for good or evil. Sure, Heimerdinger recalls the latter first, likely the Rune Wars, but it's still the same – a weapon in human hands, misused by human will, showing a human culprit at the center of his flashback for a reason. If you want a corrupting kind of magic, there are the Harrowing and the Darkins, but neither has any connection to hextech; or the Void, but it's not even magic in that sense, it's a breach of (un)reality in Shurima and Freljord, far from Piltover and Zaun and likewise never mentioned in the series.

As for the argument that the Hexcore recoiled from Viktor in S1 like a living creature, even our own world's nature has a lot of things that can react to a potential threat without necessarily having sentience. Some of them can even learn and distinguish:

What I could somewhat accept is the version that the Hexcore was given life by his blood. If its alleged independent mind is a direct creation and part of Viktor himself, then at least it's more logical than appearing from nowhere, has actual on-screen basis and doesn't take away his responsibility so entirely.

Anyway, even after their fusion, there are so many scenes clearly showing that it's still this same Viktor who speaks, watches and makes decisions:

Or his monologue at the end of S2's sixth episode. The character himself explains his reasons, that's why I don't get those saying that there were none so the eldritch influence can be the only possible explanation.

Speaking of which, I do get his logic in some of my own personal ways. The heavy burden of empathy... The constant frustration... The feeling that only some near-impossible universal change would be able to make things better because life is so fundamentally injust and so tragically vulnerable to evil/violence/illness/death/pain... But this would require a whole another post, I'm afraid, and would be highly subjective.

What I see as actual villainizing influence is his own despair. First he had already been about to take his life, then he was horribly killed within an arm's reach of achieving a better future for Zaun, then his hopeful commune was destroyed, a close friend/lover shot him, etc... Anyone in his place would run out of patience to act rationally and nicely, so I understand and forgive him wholeheartedly.

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Seeing "I can't enjoy a game/movie if the characters aren't physically attractive enough for me" for the 100th time, I wonder what people think about me when I swoon over a cosmic giant eye 😅

(Yes, I'll return to my unfinished SSkies fics eventually, I promise...)