#i was very confused as a teen cause i was terrified of ever having a crush and then i watched characters

[mar64ds]

whenever a character avoids confronting a character that they are aware has a crush on them to comedic levels and they play for laughs about how awkward everything is or how the character is 'denying their feelings' it always felt so aromantic to me because I genuinely don't think allos act this way, not with this intense avoidance or horror that someone has a crush on you or you might have feelings for them, that's not 'denying feelings' this just sounds aro

[jackiepackiee]

Hi pooks do could you do romantic headcanons for the flags (anyone you'd like) with a reader that goes absolutely quiet after an argument, but it's not silent treatment, it's just that they've grown so used to it.(totally didn't base it on me, totally not.)

But only if you're comfortable with it of course!

Have a great day or night and take care.

𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝐹𝓁𝒶𝑔𝓈 𝓍 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇

𝒬𝓊𝒾𝑒𝓉 𝒶𝒻𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝒶𝓇𝑔𝓊𝒾𝓃𝑔

𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 - 𝒻𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔

𝒯𝓎𝓅𝑒 - 𝒽𝑒𝒶𝒹𝒸𝒶𝓃𝑜𝓃𝓈

Iceman

The terrifying thing about your arguments is that Iceman is not very talkative

Or expressive for that matter

So when you’re afraid of his reaction, and he doesn’t have any signs of obvious anger or sadness…

Well, it’s scary!

He’s a big guy

So the argument is going… alright

Bad of course, you’re fighting, but it’s not that bad

Until he makes this face

It’s a sorta of distance, anger that he never ever shows

And god, does it set your brain off

Although, only you know that

Because to everyone else, your face is blank and you’re completely silent

He is confused

I mean, that’s his job?!

To be rather stoic, not you!

His lover, he knows you

And he knows this isn’t normal for everyday behavior

The argument ends there

He’s too confused to speak

So… he figures you’re upset

And when he does, he pauses

Then, he hugs you

Pushing back his coat to have your arms wrap his waist

Covering you from the world

He doesn’t know what to do for you other than a hug

A kiss would be too much? And his voice is calming, however he fears that he’ll stumble his words and make things worse

So, a hug

He’ll be okay with silence, as long as you’re okay by the end of it

Pianoman

He’s a good arguer… unfortunately

His authority shows when he fights and it is QUICK to scare

He doesn’t intend this, but work has changed him

He is so used to dealing with men who’s entire job is full of gun shots and shouts being barked orders at

So he forgets that you’re his sweet lover, and can’t handle the very intense energy

If anything confuses him, it’s silence

I mean, the flags are LOUD

Albatross always joking with Doc, Chuuya telling them off. Lippmann practicing lines with Iceman on book

But his lover shouldn’t be silent

He sorta… freezes?

Finally realizes that you haven’t put a word in for the last 5 minutes

It’s just been… nothing

A blank stare, crossed arms, and a closed mouth

He felt bad with a deep feeling inside his chest

He gave you time, thinking you’d need it

He walked out awkwardly

And left you in the apartment

He goes for a drive, and comes back

When you’re still quiet, he decides action is needed

A kiss on your hand and up for arm

Ending on your lips followed by an “I’m sorry”

He pets your cheek, pulling you against him

It’ll be okay

He is VERY happy when you’re back to speaking

But for now… he can live with the silence you desire

Doc

He isn’t the argument type

But he works too hard!!

And you’re so concerned for him

I mean, he is sick himself so he shouldn’t be around others with a weakened immune system

He is stubborn and defensive, much to your dismay

And he isn’t easy to convince

Your concern over takes you

What once caused words to spill from your mouth at him, now made you silent

He thought you needed a second to think

Process your next sentence

But that next sentence never came

He stares at you, but stays silent too

Maybe this is the vibe now?

Forgive him, he’s more physical and not mental

It finally comes to him that you’re not going to talk

He stares at you for a while

Then he turns to his pocket

He gets… a lollipop?

He always gives his patients lollipops when they’re sad, you know this

So you take it with a weary hand

But… it’s so sweet!

By the time you finish it, you are feeling better

You may not speak for the rest of the night

But! You will feel better emotionally

Chuuya

Fights… well they happen

Serious fights are normal, especially for the double whammy of you two being teens and a couple

He tries his absolute best to not yell

But, his resolve is only so strong

He’s naturally loud

His words aren’t that mean, as he saves those for people he thinks deserve them

And you? He would never love a bad person

That doesn’t mean it isn’t hurtful

So… when his voice raises the way it does when he’s talking to an enemy, you freeze

No longer responding

He isn’t how he is with Dazai, not at all

He notices your change the SECOND you stopped

His heart stopped, thinking you’re scared of him!

That’s one of his biggest fears

He needs to you feel safe with him because you are safe

It doesn’t occur to him it’s the argument making you upset, and not him scaring you

You sad eyes look into him

Body vulnerable and shying away

“Hey… I didn’t mean it.”

He isn’t great with apologies, so this is a bit of a shot in the dark for him

And he isn’t sure why you’re quiet, but he hates it

Unless you ask, he won’t leave you alone for a SECOND

“I’m sorry.”

He sorta rambles out a bunch of words

But one string of them sticks out, the last one he says

“I love you.”

That was the first time he said that

He was so scared you feared him, he wanted to confess truth

And that was enough to let you speak again

Albatross

Alby isn’t exactly… emotionally mature

So when your arguments get truly serious instead of mock and banter, it’s a lot

His colder tone, sharp eyes

He obviously forgets how scary he is

There is a certain growl in the bass of his voice

So, for you it’s no surprise that you can no longer say anything

Words don’t even form

And he melts back into his old self

“Baby?”

He walks over to you… and pokes your cheek

Something that always makes you giggle

But no, not even a smile

Internally, he’s freaking out

So, he walks to the kitchen

He gets little note pads and a pen

He asks you to write down anything

How are you feeling?

Is your throat suddenly hurt?

Can you talk, but don’t wanna?

After each, he gives you a cheek kiss

As a sort of reward for communicating

Finally, he picks you up and whisks you to bed

You’ll be okay in the morning, especially with his cuddling

Lippmann

Lippmann is not the type to get into arguments

He is silver tongued and he knows it

It’s quite literally his job at the port mafia

So when you do fight, he’s a bit unhinged

Since the topic has to be very specific or important

If he knows one thing, it’s how to interpret words

Loads of different types of speaking, tone, speed

He’s a master of speech

So silence?

He is confused

How is he supposed to work with this?

And that makes him realize, “I shouldn’t think of my love as another port mafia case. I need to be genuine”

And his real talent comes out

He gives you time

Before simply pulling you with him to the couch

He puts on a movie, and turns the cold silence to something comfortable and warm

What a guy

[undertale-fic-librarby]

Trick or treat!

(do you have an Halloween fics ÓwÒ)

Howdy, thanks for asking! Here are some fics that might fit what you're looking for!

Bearly Keeping Up (Sans/Reader) by ComicalFont (Teen And Up, Complete)

A curse is never an easy thing to live with. A curse unlike any that's been seen before only makes it harder. Thanks to a horrible series of events that happened to you on a hike years ago, whenever you look at a piece of raw meat for just a mere moment, you become a bear against your will. It hasn't exactly made work, your social life, or anything else that easy to manage, but the emergence of monsters from a nearby mountain after centuries of captivity cause some new questions to swirl inside you. Would they accept you for your curse, if they ever found out? Would it terrify them even worse than it's terrified other humans? As you find yourself growing closer to the friends you've made from monsterkind, the question becomes more and more pressing... especially when you and a punderful dork of a skeleton accidentally work into each other's hearts. Written in honor of spooky month! Regular updates every week until Halloween!

The Halloween Camping Trip by smallpersiankitten (Mature, Complete)

You work in Sunset Animal Hospital located in Sunset City, just an hour or so away from Mt. Ebott. Yes, THE Mt. Ebott. The one where the monsters all came from. Your interaction with them had been fairly minimal until the day that two skeletons walked through your hospital doors....BUT... That's not where you are now. Now you find yourself in the backseat of a jeep, heading off into those very woods around Mt. Ebott for an impromptu Halloween camping trip. Sure, your skeletal date is coming with you, so maybe this weekend won't be so bad. Certainly, nobody's ever heard of anything bad happening to those in the woods on Halloween...right? (I still have a tumblr: http://smallpersiankitten.tumblr.com/ See a cool undertale photo or have some you want to share? Share it with me. SFW and NSFW are perfectly fine)

Nice To Scare You by peachwhimzy (Teen And Up, Complete)

Halloween one-shots! ═══════════ Ch 1: SF!Papyrus/Reader - Reader appreciates a very cool halloween decoration. Ch 2: UT!Sans/Reader - Reader is a ghost hunter! Ch 3: UF!Papyrus/Reader - Reader goes to a haunted house. Ch 4: UT!Papyrus/HT!Papyrus - HT!Papyrus and UT!Papyrus carve some pumpkins. (or… they try to….) Ch 5: US!Sans/Reader - Reader paints the swapbros' faces. Ch 6: HT!Sans/Reader & HT!Papyrus/Reader (no fontcest) - Reader and the horrorbros go apple picking. Ch 7: UF!Papyrus/Reader - Reader is a leaf collector! Ch 8: UF!Sans/Reader - Reader wants a selfie with the only other skeleton in the room. Ch 9: SF!Papyrus/Reader - Reader and the sf!bros tackle a corn maze. Ch 10: UT!Papyrus/Reader - Reader and UT!Papyrus watch terrible horror movies.

He Doesn't Bite (Sans/Reader) by ComicalFont (Teen And Up, Complete)

Monsters emerged from the Underground just a few short months ago! Since then, you've been a frequent blood donor, to contribute to monster science's new research for curing diseases. On your most recent trip, the head doctor thanks you for all the contributions you've made, and invites you to a steak dinner alongside some volunteers as a thank-you. While you're there, you meet a certain skeleton that winds up near and dear to your heart very quickly. The more you get to know him, though, the more something about his role at the blood bank seems... confusing. Written in honor of Spooky Month, and features art throughout the story by lennyclover on Tumblr!

Sad Sorry Mobster Party by Fivellion (Teen And Up, Complete)

It’s Halloween! You and your degenerate friends crash a private party and pick up a new pal.

[quietwings-fics]

Tolls for Thee

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Fandom: Supernatural Ship: Gen (Lucifer & Sam, Lucifer & Death, Lucifer & Michael) Additional Tags: Lucifer's Cage (Supernatural), Angst, Season/Series 06, Abduction, Protective Lucifer (Supernatural), Hurt Lucifer (Supernatural) Wordcount: 1400 Summary:

Dean made a deal to save his brother's soul from Hell. It doesn't feel like Sam's being saved to Lucifer. It feels like he's being kidnapped.

Notes:

for day 16's prompt: "Don't go where I can't follow"

Lucifer has very little left, but he has Sam and in some ways, that's all that's ever mattered to him. It is all that matters now, since there will be no more Apocalypse, no more freedom, no more future. Only the Cage, its frozen isolation broken by his brother and the humans they both hold close. Lucifer adjusts to Michael's presence faster than he expected. There isn't much room for fighting.

He curls himself around Sam's soul. His body, half Lucifer's own by the time of their fall, is gone. He doesn't know when it happened. The first... Measures of time mean little in Hell, but when they fell, there was a period of confusion and anger and chaos that Lucifer can't remember very clearly. The evidence of it mostly laid in scars along his now calm brother's wings or ones Michael gave him in return. Sam's body was there and then it wasn't. Lucifer keeps his soul tucked even closer than Michael does Adam's because of it, for Sam's own protection. 

He nuzzles against Sam's soul, wings raised over him to keep him hidden from view and near the heart of Lucifer's grace. Sam has long since gotten used to Lucifer's true form, regarding it as familiar, even beautiful, rather than horrifying. Hell has done the best it can to tear him apart, but under Lucifer's constant watch, it never hurts him more than Lucifer can heal. He stitches Sam back together with his own grace, singing softly to him to soothe his pain.

He's scared that he won't be able to keep Sam safe forever.

It's Hell that he's frightened of losing Sam to. He never even considered that there were other forces working overhead to take him away.

He thought he might be allowed some peace, at least, if not his freedom.

Michael rouses first. His movement sends a shockwave through Lucifer's grace. He rises, tucking Sam's soul tighter into himself as he turns to face the being approaching the Cage. The bars obscure their view. Lucifer snarls at Michael for the first time in ages as his brother twists and bumps into him to try and get a better view, only making it harder for Lucifer to see. Michael doesn't even bother to return it. 

A moment later, and Lucifer is as silent as he is, pulling himself back from the bars as the being reaches them. There's nowhere for him to go. Michael presses close to his side. Lucifer feels the strangest urge to hide under his wing, even though he knows Michael wouldn't let him, not anymore. Instead, he reassures Sam with a deep hum, hiding him deeper in his own grace to keep him from feeling Lucifer's own fear.

Because Death has come to the Cage, and It and Lucifer did not part on good terms. 

"Did your vessel-" Lucifer begins to ask, but before he can finish his sentence, Michael cuts him off sharply.

"No." In that, Lucifer can hear how terrified he is. He isn't bothering to hide it. They're staring down the same barrel: an eternity without the only creature in the universe who is meant to understand them. Lucifer can't see Adam. Michael is keeping him away from Death, too.

There is a prison out there that could hold Death. Lucifer broke it with a resounding, bloody crack. The bars of Lucifer's Cage don't stop Its approach. It pauses. Lucifer wonders if It indulges in petty delights like the taste of an archangel's fear. He has never understood It, no matter how well It served his cause. However warped he has become, the core of Lucifer has always been light and creation. That might have been his undoing, wielding Death like an attack dog against humanity when It was much more dangerous to the angel holding Its leash.

"Why are you here?"

"I made a deal with Dean Winchester for his brother's soul," Death tells Lucifer, "and I find him marginally less annoying than I do you." Lucifer can feel Michael bristle beside him with instinctive, unnecessary fury. 

Lucifer has seen Sam's memories a thousand times. He's lived them through Sam's eyes, felt everything Sam did. He knows what it was like to feel Dean's arms around him as he collapsed into the mud and died for the first time. He knows what it felt like to wake up afterwards and have Dean hovering over him, his soul already bargained away. He remembers what it was to have a brother who would do anything to save him.

Dean Winchester would only make a deal with a being like Death for one person, and that's not the half-brother he barely knew.

"You can't have him," Lucifer says. He tries to back away further, but the freezing bars send pain lancing through his grace for getting too close. Sam's soul chirps in concern. Lucifer's grace thrums through every inch of his soul, holding him together. "You can't. He won't survive without me." 

"Dean made the deal knowing that risk. Let him go, Lucifer." Lucifer hisses. He wants to tear Dean apart himself, and he doesn't know if it's for Sam's sake or his own. If keeping Sam is selfish, then he doesn't care. He belongs with Lucifer now. Taking him away will shatter them both. Death watches without much sympathy. "I will take him from you if I have to," It says with the cadence of a weary adult confiscating a toy from a spoiled child.

"Try," Lucifer says, as though he can do anything to stop It.

Lucifer isn't strong enough for Death to bother fighting him. Lucifer is prepared for one, not for Death to reach forward, reach through Lucifer, and pluck Sam out of his grace as easily as one might pull a fruit off a tree branch. It hurts more than anything Lucifer has ever felt before. Sam panics as he's torn from Lucifer's grasp. Lucifer clings on tighter until he hears Sam crying out in pain and feels his grace pulling Sam apart from the inside to try and keep him. If he holds on, then Lucifer will be the one to destroy him. 

He lets go.

"Please," he begs. Death doesn't even look at him once he's not an obstacle anymore. It turns away from Lucifer, and he screams. "No! Give him back!" It's all impotent rage, and it goes as ignored as any of Lucifer's tantrums. Death leaves, taking Sam's soul with It, and Lucifer can't let It. He can't. He charges after Death, straight in to the bars that imprison him. He bashes his grace against them again and again, "Sam! Sam! Sam!" They burn cold against his grace each time, leaving scars each time he rams his entire being against them. If he can only make a crack, he can slip a little of his grace through to go with Sam and keep him safe. He slams himself into the bars harder. 

He can't stop. Sam is fading away. Lucifer can barely hear a whisper of him beyond the bars. He grows more frantic, crashing against the sides of the Cage like a trapped animal, snarling and clawing at the bars as they burn him back, embedding shards of the Cage deep into his grace in an attempt to sedate him. Lucifer batters his wings against the ceiling until broken feathers begin to litter the ground. He can feel his wings ripping apart the harder he lashes out, but he has to get out, he has to get Sam back, he has to-

Lucifer loses himself, blinded by fear and anger, fed by his own pain as it grows worse and worse until he collapses. His grace breaks before the Cage does. He shivers, curling in on himself and whimpering as he's forced to feel the damage he did to himself in horrible clarity as the fight bleeds out of him.

He didn't even make a dent.

Michael comes closer. Lucifer tries to lash out at him. It's not fair. He gets to keep Adam. It's not fair! He can't do much more than weakly beat him back. Michael pushes through it until he's able to wrap himself around Lucifer, pressing his own grace into Lucifer's wounds. Lucifer refuses to acknowledge it.

Michael covers Lucifer with a wing. It feels like an apology. Lucifer doesn't want it. He just wants Sam back.

(Enjoyed it? Any interaction is welcomed. You can even support me on Ko-Fi <3)

[purpleturtle9000]

Hi I’m baaack I have a question about the reds!! How close are they?? Is there any conflict/confusion bc they’re both trying to eldest sibling everyone? Does little Raph figure out gender things earlier thanks to Red being there? Do they get hugs I hope they both get hugs they’re so wonderful

Have a lovely time of day thank you for all of your turtle posts they get me through the day <3

omg hi! my turtle posts also get me through the day tbh and i am! so glad you like them!

The reds are so close you have no idea. I am soft about them on the daily. Sometimes they argue about who has jurisdiction to scold the blue things but usually they just team up instead.

Okay first of all yes there is confusion with both of them trying to be the eldest sibilng! (Meanwhile Leonardo has been the oldest for a while and is vaguely confused by all this as well. Red died twenty-seven years ago at the age of twenty-eight, and Old Man Blue is trying not to laugh at someone half his age trying to be his big sister. He's also full of emotions and near to crying about it every day.)

Leonardo, Tello, and Angelo are all older than Red, but at least they're all still shorter than her. Can't shake up the family dynamic that much, I say, as if I haven't put them all through a fucking blender. Angelo and Tello call her their big sister anyway, cause they're nice like that. Leonardo near-exclusively calls her 'short stuff' and is closer than he realises to being flung through a wall again.

Ironically, Red herself does not take Raph seriously as a big brother. She knows that he is, for the younger turtles, but she's a decade older and three feet taller than him. She sees him as being just as small as his younger brothers. Raph is not impressed with this, being used to being the biggest and oldest.

He is impressed with how tall and spiky she is! All the boys thought they'd stopped growing, like human kids would have, and seeing everyone taller caused absolute consternation among the young turts. Especially in the case of future Mikey. Nobody will talk about future Mikey being as tall as teen Raph. It's still terrifying.

Despite Red once calling Raph 'little', and the bedlam that ensued, they get along very well! Which is also terrifying for a certain set of self-destructive blue turtles who insist they're totally fine whilst in the middle of a week-long mental breakdown. If one red turtle is scary, two red turtles are even scarier. Red is not above sitting on either Leo if he's doing something stupid.

Red's and Leonardo's definitions of 'something stupid' are very different. Leonardo does not appreciate this. It's the funniest thing Donnie's ever seen.

Apart from their mutual 'I must protect my siblings' prime directive, and the fact that they both punch things as their first plan instead of waiting for anyone else to come up with a better one, there's another big similarity! Red is also missing the same eye as Raph. (I know he's fine in canon but like. did you see the fucking tentacles coming out of his eye socket. he's missing an eye in wify.)

There's a constants-and-variables theme I'm playing at with wify, kinda, about how sometimes the same things happen under different circumstances. Mikey's portals being what saves Leonardo from dying in the future timeline and then dying in the prison dimension. Casey Jr gets a hockey stick from both versions of Casey Sr but only one of those involves her dying. Red lost her eye fighting human survivors and Raph lost his eye being mutated by the Krang.

Raph and Leo, the teen versions, have a lot to unpack about the whole thing. Leo blames himself and can't get over his part in Raph being taken. Raph thinks Leo's afraid of him, because mutant-Krang-Raph hurt him in their fight, and maybe grossed out by the extent of his injuries. Lots of angst incoming with that angle but it's gonna be fine I swear.

Raph and Red, however! Red has tips on adjusting to life with one eye, and has some extremely cool eyepatches that Angelo decorated for them. Raph gets to borrow them whenever he wants and gets his own ones too, which makes him feel a little better about it all. And it helps bridge some of the gap between him and Mikey, because Raph asks Mikey to decorate them for him.

Overall, having Red around helps him adjust and helps with his self-esteem. Not to mention that he sees someone who's managed just fine with one eye for years, and it's a huge reassurance that his life's just changed, not over. The entirety of what happened in the Krang invasion was impossible for him to deal with on his own, he needed some kind of proof that he's going to grow up to be okay after all, and that's exactly what she can give him.

Leonardo has a habit of shooing Raph off to a spa day in the Hidden City, cause holy shit does this teenager need a break. Raph brings Red along! They keep snacking on those cucumber slices that are supposed to go on their faces but nobody's brave enough to tell Red what to do. Or not to do, as the case may be. She greatly enjoys floating around in the heated pool (and creating waves with her tail to surprise-drench Raph).

Red is like nine feet tall, she's the only one who can bear hug him and pick him up off his feet. He loves it so much and there are so many piggyback rides in his future. Even if he's gotta be a little careful not to get lightly stabbed with a shell spike. He does a few times, though, oops. Casey Sr nicknamed Red 'porcupine', that oughta explain it. Donnie and Tello figure out a battle shell for Red so it's safer and they have a great time.

When Red comes out about her gender, everyone is immediately 👀 at Raph because surely he's gonna feel the same way, right? They've already had this discussion with the purples about how Donnie's always been agender but used to be less fussy about pronouns and Tello didn't switch to they/them until their thirties.

Raph has not figured this gender thing out yet. He is in denial. Red finds this totally hilarious. She doesn't say anything in front of the others, cause she doesn't want to embarrass him in front of everyone they know, but they have a talk later where she's like, "Hey did you know that wishing you were a girl for literal years is a sign that you're not a guy?" It seems very obvious to Raph when she says it like that.

(Based on Donnie calling Raph 'Raphaela' that one time, and having to figure out his own Gender Fuckery, I hc that he was unaware that this was a surprise to Raph. Donnie also finds this totally hilarious.)

Also hc that Red's mystic armour got bigger along with her and Raph finds this extremely cool! He also feels completely safe when his big sister is there all armoured up to protect him, and it's not uncommon to catch him napping in armour-Red's lap like a cat. Red will hurt you if you wake him up, you've been warned.

Red will also put the fear of pizza supreme into anyone by full-naming them from across the state. She's taller than anyone else and learned how to project her voice like for stage theatre. Raph thinks this is the funniest thing imaginable and regularly gets her to yell Leo's name just to see him run for his life. Red has yet to yell at Raph and they all assume she never will. They do meow back and forth (Casey Jr spent longer than he will admit thinking that they had a cat infestation).

[libertarian-druid-ny-separatist]

We agree that dysphoria is a neurological condition, so how can you advise trans people to postpone their treatments until later adulthood, knowing that you can't just postpone a medical condition at will? It's not a switch that can easily be flipped on or off or an aesthethic choice like most make it out to be. And why postpone it more knowing how excruciating and long waiting lists are in some places for referrals? While hormones are being considered, patients should at least be given the option to take blockers in the meantime if the person suffers from severe mental health issues and self-harming and suicidal behaviours due to their dysphoria, which have been proven to decrease with treatment. Blockers only cause some complications for trans women if they ever choose to have bottom surgery, and need to be made aware of that, but that's a cost the patient has to weight for themselves if they temporarily need to relieve their distress. For many, it's a medical emergency and they would rather take on the risks than continue living the rest of their life in confusion and regret and discomfort over their unrecognizable first and secondary sex characteristics.

Suicide rates are high amongst trans people and we need to be careful with that. There has been a large spike of suicide attempts within the trans community in the UK due to the waiting lists, and very few trans people there have access to treatments even until later adulthood. As a trans person who appreciates your blog and nuanced rakes, I just wanted to highlight that this medical condition isn't just something we can postpone getting treatment and help for, as it feels like a ticking time bomb while you're a teenager. I don't know what I would've done if I was told to wait until 24. My entire teenage years were spent fighting legal battles over my right to transition because I was on the verge of ending it all because my body was becoming unrecognizable and my sense of identity was becoming shattered. If I had no means of getting help before 24, medical transition in later life would've become useless and suicide would've sounded far more appealing than living a life as some botched androgynous freak, who would've been treated as less than human by just about everyone.

This is a very delicate ethical issue because on one side I agree that some countries have poor medical systems and, in very rare anecdotal cases, let teens transition after a "single referral", which is wrong and plain medical malpractice, while other countries would prefer to watch their trans people rot until they're finally offered treatment. At the end of the day, the issue is with how efficient the medical system is, and every trans person should be handled in a case by case basis, because some teenagers are genuinely suffering from debilitating gender dysphoria, while others are just misdiagnosed, misdirected and confused. We need a rigorous pluridisciplary approach when it comes to diagnosing teenagers so that none of them fall through the cracks. From personal experience, I refuse to deny trans people of any age appropriate treatment due to the amount of distress, dissociation and suicidality that dysphoria causes because of its effects on our sense of identity, our bodies, and on our relations to others, which are all fundamental parts of our growth and milestones that we deny to trans teens by forcing them to postpone their needs.

People who don't suffer from dysphoria will never understand how strongly and intrinsically linked our gender identity is to our health and our connection to the world around us. People only seem to take notice or care about dysphoria when confused and misdirected detransitioners give themselves rebound dysphoria, and only then do people become aware of how terrifying it is to be stuck in the wrong body for life. People only recognize dysphoria as the debilitating condition that it is, only when it happens to cis people.

As for trans people ? Just because our puberty is "natural" doesn't mean it's healthier for us. I have to go through multiple surgeries and mutilate my body and put myself through pain now as an adult, which could've been easily avoided had I just been on blockers earlier and avoided puberty and its consequences. HRT has also solved numerous health issues of mine that originated from hormonal imbalances that I was born with, because my body was never wired to be female since birth, even if it appeared to be on the surface at first glance. There are plenty of "natural" processes that the body goes through that end up developing into debilitating medical conditions. Just because it happens naturally doesn't mean we should just let it happen. My scoliosis was also a "natural" part of my sudden growth spurt. Should've I had to ignore it and avoid wearing my corset for fear that it would stunt my growth somehow? No!! It was a medical condition that required it, even if some lunatics could argue that you don't need to have a perfectly straight back to live a comfortable life.

The newer wave of LGBT teens grossly gloss over the seriousness of gender dysphoria, which leads people to believe it's just a cute aesthetic "choice" that we can postpone and undertake whenever we please. It's a serious neurological issue that causes persistent obsessive body checking behaviours akin to someone with OCD, with many of us experiencing debilitating phanto-limb like symptoms in severe cases. You can't just "wish" the thoughts away when they follow you wherever you go. Most of us have tried to repress during our teen years to no avail.

Hope you understand how unrealistic this demand is of trans people and how it would hurt more of us in the long run. Just because a few bad apples, be it the doctors or patients, exploit or wrongly navigate the medical system doesn't mean we should deny young trans people any care whatsoever. This is a very very dangerous route to go down. Hope you understand.

So, I'm gonna be real up front and let you know I only skimmed this because of how long it is. I'm still at work, so, ya know.

I said that I'd suggest holding off till 24 because at that point, the brain has finished development. In all reality, I thought I was trans for awhile in my teenage years, only to realize later on that I just had more "feminine" traits than my peers. Those being essentially being open emotionally, liking pink more than most other colors, and being able to socialize more easily with women.

I had been misinformed on what dysphoria feels like, and that misinformation is still fairly prevalent to this day, if not slightly more prevalent now than it was when I was growing up due to the fetishization of trans people.

However, I'm okay suggesting it because that's how I'd want to do it. Be 100% or as close to it as possible before committing to any life altering drugs or surgeries. Since we recently found out that puberty blockers aren't reversible.

This, again, was in no way a demand or idea for legislation beyond limiting having them directly prescribed to you until 18 due to literally every medication law. Just like how I had to do it with insulin.

Unlike diabetes, however, there is no 100% reliable test for dysphoria. And socialization can definitely fuck with your ideas of what identifying as another gender might mean.

But thats why I

Suggest

that kids who think they might be dysphoric wait. If possible, then till the brain is finished developing. Which as long as you're socially transitioning, should make that at least a little easier.

But as far as appointments and whatnot, I get that there's a waiting list and its fuckhuge in some areas. Nothing in that post said that you should also wait to consult with a doctor or medical professional that's qualified. Just that it might not be the best idea to permanently alter your body chemistry before you can legally drive and with an extremely limited concept of what the world is.

[catsnotebook]

Feeling like my age

I am currently 24 years old, and in April I will turn 25. This is basically halfway to 30 which means I am halfway through my 20's. While this feels slightly terrifying and strange, because... 30? It also feels somewhat like a relief.

My late teens and early 20's were an extremely difficult time for me. Especially because I was struggling with my mental health but also trauma I was caused by people around me (both as a child and young adult). Finding my identity was also on my plate full of other thoughts residing in my small brain.

There is a quote I heard not too long ago on TikTok that resonated with me:

"Your 20's are for figuring out your trauma. Your 30's are for figuring out who you are."

This, I feel, seems pretty spot on in terms of what I am going through right now in my mid 20's. When I was in my late teens and early 20's, I often felt lost and confused; clouded with negative emotions and negative experiences. I was very angry about many things in my life. Things I couldn't control, people I couldn't control. Always feeling like I could not have any say in my own life.

When I moved out, things changed drastically for me. But not without hardship. When I moved out, it was the first time I really could feel myself detaching from who I was at the time: a person I longed (for what felt like forever) to no longer be.

I did not like who I was, and what my life was like.

And while I was during a detachment process to become the person I wanted to be, there were still forces (cough, people) around me that kept pulling me backwards. These forces are still around today, but less prevalent than before. I feel today that I have more power over my life now than I ever did a year ago. I am however not yet in full control. Keyword: Yet.

A year ago I would sometimes nearly slip up and say I was 21 or 19 if someone would ask me my age. Somehow, I felt like I was much younger than I actually was. Even though my physical age was 23 or 24, it was this feeling of being younger. A feeling saying "Hey, you're growing up too fast! Your mind hasn't caught up with your body yet..."

Today, in January 2023, I feel like my age.

I feel like my mind has caught up. The only factor to credit for this is the fact that I gained a lot more independence, life experiences, and a deeper understanding of different, but all vital, aspects of my life.

Doing the work to truly and deeply understand my adult relationships around me as well as my own wants and needs unlocked a clarity I didn't have before. I learned to identify patterns and problems well before they occurred. I learned to emotionally regulate better, to be critical of others' behavior and mine too. I learned to better say no, to distance myself from what harmed my mental health.

I also unpacked trauma I didn't even know I had. This was, however, primarily possible because I now have a support system (which I did not have prior to this) that helps me feel safe and allows me to express myself without any fear of rejection.

When you have a support system bringing you safety, repressed memories no longer become repressed because your body is no longer in survival mode. And when these memories resurface, that is the time to talk about them and process. Confronting memories, but also people, is difficult. I try to take it one step at a time. It is rarely easy.

None of this I did with therapy, of course. Just educating myself (thank you Internet) and keeping safe people around me. And a guidance counsellor. But had I had therapy, which I hope to have very soon, I believe I would have progressed much further in my life and mental health compared to now.

Still, I will not discredit my journey and achievements thus far. I am proud of myself and how far I have truly come. Detaching myself from the person I once used to be: unhappy, angry, feeling out of control.

My path is still long, but look how far I have come.

As such, the TikTok quote currently rings true for my life. My 20's have been, thus far, spent trying to figure out my trauma. As I am halfway through my 20's, I would like to imagine I am halfway through figuring out my trauma. Wishful thinking. 💭

I am looking forward to figuring out who I am when I am 30.

Love, Cat

[wildestheart4ever]

@stealingyourbones, I know you already got a post about this au, but I really want to share this with you.

I really really want to write a bodyswap fic, I blame this post x

Scenes and shit have been rattling around in my head all morning while I was reorganizing my reblogs. I might not actually write it ever, but here are some things that I put into consideration

The bodyswap is between Danny the day of the accident and Jason after being dunked in the Pit, yes? Yes.

Now Danny, Danny is all brand new to this shit, right? No superhero experience, no ghost experience, no fresh added trauma [besides - you know! Thinking he’s gonna die]. The most exciting|terrifying thing he’s experienced beforehand is his dad’s driving - so given the events of the accident, I imagine he must be feeling pretty terrified waking up in an unfamiliar place, surrounded by strangers, in a body that definitely isn’t his own.

Jason is a tough one, cause I don’t know if he was even the slightest bit aware of his situation pre!Lazarus Pit. If everything was muddled impressions, I’d imagine waking up in a body that just went through an alarming electrocution [and whatever side affects it brought besides the obvious] would be the first thing he’d notice. He’d be in pain, but he’d push that aside to take in the situation: Convulsive pains, everything feels wrong, disturbing basement lab, a massive glowing portal behind him, two teens crying and calling out for someone name Danny

But they’re looking at him

I’d like to think Robin training kicks in immediately, so he tries to comfort them and put them at ease before reaching out to reassure them all while trying to find any sign of this Danny.

Cue seeing the small white-gloved hand and finally taking notice of the prepubescent body he’s currently in possession of.

Now considering the fact pre!Lazarus Pit events might’ve been muddled to him in his catatonic state, the small stature might not be all that confusing to him, though the lack of lean muscle might be.

How confusing must that be? No recollection of the years that past, yet you come back to awareness in a body as small as you last might’ve remembered it.

Sam and Tucker probably assume his silence is due to him finally noticing the change in his appearance. So they trying calling his attention

“Danny, you okay?” “It’s clearly obvious he’s not okay” “Hey! I don’t see you trying to do anything.”

With a pit of dread in his stomach, Jason looks up at the two, confused and slowly coming to very correct conclusions, and asks “Who the hell is Danny?” 

Sam and Tucker are a little too worried the portal might’ve scrambled his memory to be thrown off by the cursing, “Oh man, I knew this was a bad idea. His parents are gonna flip when they find out.” “Doubt it, I think they’ll be a little too excited over the portal being on to wonder what happened.” “....Okay, but Jazz will definitely be freaking out.” “We need to get him out of here.”

Cue them trying jog Danny’s memory while dragging him up to his room, which just cements Jason’s horrible no good theory.

Danny was put in some random room, left to his devices to come down from first time Lazarus episode [Whatever that is], he can’t take any comfort or guidance from the strange woman, confused by the fact she keeps calling him Jason. Trying to stomp down the fear that has a choke hold on him, he tries to pinpoint anything familiar about his current location, but he can’t garner much of anything from what he can see out the window. 

Frustrated, he focuses his attention on the body he’s currently possessing. He might’ve thought this was a gone-to-the-future experience, but there’s no familiar birthmarks or scars on this body [and by the firm reminder that this body belongs to a Jason].

He’s still stumbling on these longer legs and under the extra mass

He might’ve been a little horrified and nauseated by the Y shaped scar running down his [Jason’s] torso.

Okay, so he probably jumps to the conclusion that things might’ve gotten mixed up in the portal with whatever necromancy these weirdos were up to. Now he’s just wondering if his friend’s are freaking out over his corpse....or over whoever this Jason guy is.

Jason. Does it take a while to convince Sam and Tucker that he is not their friend Danny? Yes, does it take another minute to convince them he did not possess their friend’s body on purpose? Also yes, his foot is still suffering under the girl’s clunky boot as she tried threatening him for info.

This is after he gets himself worked up and finding out Danny Fenton’s body isn’t that much of an animated corpse after all [Thank god, the lack of heartbeat was really creeping him out], much to everyone’s relief.

Does he fall into a bit of a panic attack at being asked what’s the last thing he remembers? Definitely, and now these kids look just as put off as he feels.

Does it nearly happen again when he learns that neither he, nor Gotham, nor Bruce Wayne exist in this universe? Also yes, but it’s nice to know they’re at least getting somewhere.

Is Danny Fenton an alternate universe version of him????

It takes a hot minute to get his head on straight and form some kinda of plan: Keep this on the down low, explore this Ghost Zone in hopes of finding anything about dimensional travel, and keep this kid’s life in track.

How much of his identity should he keep from Sam and Tucker? It’s not like he exists in this universe.

Danny knows he’s in deep shit. He doesn’t have the complete picture, and he still isn’t sure if Jason was here with these assassins willingly or not [He’s leaning more on not, considering the situation he woke up to]. And the longer he’s here, the further into a corner he’s finding himself in.

The woman, Thalia, is getting suspicious. She stopped trying to talk about him about his mission and his training when any information she brought wrought no visible reaction from him [Why should he care if this random Bruce Wayne guy adopted a kid?? Who’s Batman - and what guy goes running around in a bat themed costume calling himself that????] and it takes an admittedly embarrassing time to realize these things are all related to owner of this body.

His immediate thought is to act. Act disoriented, act like he’s still reeling from whatever it is these people did to this guy [It’s obvious it was smth serious, if Thalia’s whispered assurances on giving him time to adjust were anything to go by].

So he does, and he doesn’t know if he manages to convince Thalia [He’s never been that good at acting], but it gets her to back off. He’s got more time on his hands, more time to figure out how to get out of this secret fortress, more time to ponder what this guy was like so he doesn’t fudge up and get himself killed.

Jason. If there’s one thing he is certain of, it’s that this kid’s place is one giant OSHA violation. Sam and Tucker had to go home, leaving him with the enthusiastic weirdos that were Danny’s parents - they haven’t stopped yammering on in excitement over finding their life’s work suddenly working.

Did they not notice anything off about their son, were he and Danny that much alike in personality that they haven’t noticed? Even so, why were they not asking questions?? Where was the concern and anger over their son and his friends fooling around with dangerous equipment???

No, instead they were talking about how this success would improve their research, about the containment measures they’d make to do their studying. They seemed to notice nothing wrong with what was supposed to be their son.

It infuriated him.

The only one who seemed to show any concern was the sister [Jazz, her name is Jazz]. She was the one who fussed over him after hearing the trios carefully crafted story, she was the one who scolded him for messing around with the parents equipment, she was the one scorning her parents for leaving their portal in such dangerous conditions.

Why was this girl being more of a parent than the parents???

The fact that dinner once again [and isn’t that a concerning thought] came to life and tried mauling them didn’t help ease the anger.

Everything about this screamed wrongness to him.

[yoonpobs]

bad boy good thing iii.

pairing: jeon jungkook x oc

genre: angst, smut, fluff, miscommunication (we hate her lol), pining

warnings: smut, jungkook is really an asshole, the angst hurts a lot tbh, unhealthy relationships (?)

words: 2, 393

summary: a series of drabbles where you're confused and jungkook's confusing

“You’re bailing again?” Taehyung looks up from his stack of books for the first time in the last hour since the two of you have started your study date. Granted, he meant no spite but he didn’t understand what set you to flee. The name that was almost taboo to you; the name that brings more tugs to your heart that hurts than one that’s fond.

You glance up at him with meek eyes, “I have an office hour with my economics professor in half an hour.”

Taehyung purses his lips.

“This is the fourth time this week you’ve ditched.” Taehyung sounds mildly irritated and you don’t blame him. You made a promise months ago before mid-terms coming up that you’d help him with statistics. But before the two of you could ever get into the nitty-gritty details of math; somehow the forbidden name comes up.

“I know.” You say softly. “I’m sorry …” You don’t say anything else because your heart is speeding up in a way that is anxiety-inducing. Because Taehyung off-handedly mentioned that Jungkook would be dropping by in a few; and you didn’t know when he’d turn up and you rather not stick around to find out.

His words still linger in your mind and every time there was any prompt to remind you of his face, or his name—you remember the way his words sounded so assured in the context of the situation first. You remember the malevolence that lied behind his usually kind eyes. But it’s like the eyes filled with desire in a one-dimensional view of your body replaced the youthful mirth you grew up with.

“Look.” Taehyung sighs, pushing himself up to look at you with a stern stare. “If you don’t want to tutor me that’s fine. I can find another tutor. But I’d appreciate if you’d let me know beforehand so I don’t have to come all the way just for an hour then have you leave once the content begins to get tougher.”

Taehyung was by no means being rude or outwardly offensive. He was straightforward and you appreciated that he was honest with you. And rather, you feel guilty of the fact that you bailed for your own selfish reasons.

“I do want to tutor you.” You tell him, fiddling with your fingers as your eyes dart to the doors of the library. “It really just slipped my mind.”

It sounds lame, even to you; and Taehyung picks up on it too.

“You don’t forget things like this.” He says pointedly. “It’s like every time I mention—”

Taehyung stops himself and your eyes dart away, hands already tugging your bag over your shoulder. Maybe if you sped up, he wouldn’t stare at you with an inquisitive stare that looked similar to one of realisation.

“Did something happen between you and Kook?”

You wince. Taehyung is observant.

“Are the two of you—?”

“I’m fine.” You snap, tone defensive and on edge when you hear the bell of the library door ring. You don’t dare to turn to look. “We’re fine.”

“_____ …” Taehyung frowns.

“I gotta go. Okay?” You huff, offering one last apologetic look before you turn to leave. But in your haste, you bump into a solid figure and you’re terrified that it’s—

“Careful.” A deeper, unfamiliar but welcomed voice murmurs.

When your eyes look up, it’s just someone you recognise from Jungkook’s football games. You were sure he was a key player too. His stature was definitely one of an athlete. He was tall, broad, and firm; and the black shirt that hugged his chest only emphasised your guess.

“S-Sorry.” You squeak, looking down.

You brush past him before he can get another word in, and only when you slip past him do you see Jungkook lingering behind with a frown on his face.

“______—” He calls.

You’re able to leave before he can get a hold of you; and that only causes the frown on Jungkook’s face to harden.

When the door rings once more to signal your departure, Jungkook is already sat with Taehyung and the other person that bumped into you.

“What’s up with the two of you?” Taehyung asks.

Jungkook stiffens and responds with a grit of his teeth. “Nothing.”

Taehyung doesn’t look convinced and Namjoon—though recently enlightened with the fact that there was potentially something brewing between the two of you—was also observant enough to pick up on the tense atmosphere that you left with.

“Aren’t the two of you super close?” Namjoon says offhandedly, already shifting through his assignments while he lays them out.

Jungkook wants to let out a dry scoff at the assumption. Sure, the two of you were close. He isn’t so sure about that anymore.

“You’re clearly lying to me.” Taehyung snorts. “So whatever it is the two of you are keeping a secret please just sort it out because I need _____ here to tutor me and you’re getting in the way of my education.”

Taehyung mostly says this as a joke, but it strikes Jungkook straight where it’s vulnerable. He wasn’t going to be the first to break, nor will he indulge Taehyung into what he said to you in the same library they were in at this very moment.

So instead, Jungkook brushes it off like he’s been doing so more recently than ever.

“Whatever.” He mutters.

For some reason, you see Jungkook again on the same day—accompanied by the same person that you bumped into.

You realise that you’ve spent more time avoiding him than dealing with your feelings after what transpired. But you’re weak and you suppose you’ve always been weak when it came to Jungkook.

It was difficult … to say the least. Because while Jungkook’s words were malicious and filled with the intent to hurt and break you; the better (and foolish) part of you wanted to believe that he was angry. Driven by emotions that he wasn’t thinking straight. But while you were naive, you were also substantially aware that there had to be some form of truth to the words he’s thrown at you.

But this was the same Jungkook that you grew up with, the young boy you’ve somehow seen transition from awkward and endearing teen to … to the confident and assured man he was. You didn’t want to make any excuses for him but you’ve always been soft. And you hated that your eyes somehow still linger on his approaching figure when the rational side of your brain tells you to run away.

However, it’s not him who greets you. It’s his friend. The one you vaguely recognise but can’t quite put a name to a face.

“Hey!” He calls out to you.

His smile is easy with a dimple appearing on his cheeks. He looks kind and soft for someone that was easily a head taller than you were, and despite his height—there was something oddly comforting about the way he approaches you as if he knows you.

You try to ignore the coldness from Jungkook’s end and remind yourself that you should’ve felt angry—not the other way around.

“Hi?” You say, or more appropriately ask.

Jungkook’s expression is still blank; every time your eyes briefly linger on his face you wonder how it’d ended up this way.

“_____, right? I’ve seen you at a few of our games.” His friend enters a conversation so seamlessly. “Kook’s never introduced us, though.”

You clear your throat and you hope your face isn’t a dead giveaway of your discomfort. Especially when you blatantly ignore Jungkook’s piercing stare on the side of your temple.

“I don’t … mingle around that much.” You say softly,

And it’s parallel to the image that Jungkook has of you. The quiet, timid girl that’s free time is consumed with books and assignments than a social life to make up for it. You used to think that maybe you weren’t the type that enjoyed large or loud gatherings. But Jungkook’s voice only makes you wonder if you were the problem instead.

“Well, I’m Namjoon.” He smiles at you, offering a grin filled with teeth that you find yourself unconsciously returning, albeit awkwardly.

“Nice to meet you … uh … Namjoon.” You mumble, and your eyes nearly land on Jungkook’s face out of pure habit, but you stop yourself before you hurt yourself even more.

“It’s nice to formally meet you too. I’ve been asking Jungkook to introduce the two of us since forever ago but he seemed dead set on keeping you to himself.” Namjoon jokes lightly. And you almost miss it, but you swear Jungkook stiffens by his side.

“Ah …” You reply lamely, fingering your strap as you shift on your heels.

It feels awkward to not acknowledge Jungkook; you’re wondering if Namjoon picks up on the cold air between the both of you. Namjoon looks like he’s thinking of something, but before he can say anything—Jungkook is tugging his arm roughly.

“We have practice.” Jungkook grits, finally making himself known.

Your eyes dart to your feet, and you hate how small you feel in his presence. It should’ve been easy but this was the hardest part of it all. Pretending like you were objectively okay when his words constantly lingered at the back of your mind.

“Go ahead without me. I want to ask _____ something.” Namjoon shrugs Jungkook’s hand off of him. And this time you catch the venomous glare that he shoots his friend, accompanied by the clench of his jaw.

“Coach will—”

“I’m the captain, remember?” Namjoon snorts, but it’s not condescending. Just a reminder.

Jungkook purses his lips and his eyes dart between the two of you; and you know him well enough to know that there’s something on his mind, especially with the way he nibbles on his bottom lip.

“Don’t be late.” Jungkook grits, stomping off in the other direction without even sparing you a glance.

You frown at him because he was the one that came to you that day unwarranted; treating you like absolutely nothing as if there weren’t years of history behind the two of you.

But Namjoon is large enough to distract you because he quite literally blocks the view of Jungkook’s disappearing body with his own when he stands right in front of you.

“Sorry about that.” Namjoon looks sheepish. “I hope you don’t mind …” He trails off as he scratches the back of his neck.

Your eyes widen as you shake your head, “N-No! It’s fine. Just … uh … what’s up?” You wince inwardly at your horrible social skills and you have a slight understanding of why Jungkook pointed out the things he did. Maybe he was right—

“I—well …” Namjoon mumbles, and he seems less assured than he was earlier. “I think—you’re really—cool?—and smart—you seem nice so … sorry! God.” He rambles as he brushes his hands over his face.

You blink at him.

Namjoon takes your reaction as a bad one as he winces, chuckling lowly.

“I’m sorry. I’m not this … awkward.” He tells you.

You nod your head slowly trying to process his words. And you feel a little guilty knowing that your lack of response probably pushes Namjoon further into his shell. But he has a glare in his eye that shows that he won’t be affected so easily.

“Well.” He clears his throat. “I follow your podcast. And I think it’s really great. You offer some really interesting perspectives on the War on Drugs—or as you mentioned—the disproportionate effects of racial tension that lead to unjustified or mass incarceration rates in the U.S.”

Somehow you know you’ve said the exact same words in the monthly podcast you do with the International Relations department for extra credit. But when Namjoon speaks, it’s as if he’s carefully picking apart the context and nuance of your words so carefully before he quotes it back to you; as if he treats your opinion with heavy regard and not one of the light matters.

You feel flattered.

“Oh.” You blink. “Thank you?”

Namjoon offers you an easy grin. And you recall: captain of the football team, he says? He doesn’t really … fit the stereotype. Besides the fact that he looked insanely fit. He was gentle, that much you could tell. But you also were a little biased when it came to footballers because you only had Jungkook to compare him with.

“Sorry for just springing that on you.” He apologises sheepishly and you’re even more confused as to why he feels the need to say sorry. “It’s just that Kook was always so bitchy about introducing me to you whenever I asked so … I thought why not take the chance myself?”

You gape at him. You don’t know what to do with the set of new information you’re presented with. Firstly, the fact that someone like Namjoon paid attention to a nobody like you? And secondly, the weird revelation that Jungkook somehow gate kept his friendship … or whatever the fuck it was … with you.

“No, no.” You shake your head, “I’m really flattered. Thank you. No one’s ever … told me that before.” You give him a gentle smile because that’s all you can muster.

Namjoon returns it tenfold as he hikes his bag across his shoulder.

“Well, I gotta go now. Practice calls.” He jokes, waving at you. For a moment, he stills; as if remembering something before he fishes out a piece of paper from his pocket and shoves it to you in a haste.

“What is—?”

“My number. You know—if you ever want to talk. About … stuff. I think you’re super smart—and intelligent. They’re synonymous but yeah. If you want.” He rambles.

You blink up at him and before you can muster a response, he’s darting away.

You watch his figure retreat and notice that Jungkook is waiting for him a good distance away. But his eyes aren’t on Namjoon’s somewhat giddy figure—but on you.

He stares at you long and hard, and you feel conflicted. The paper in your hand nearly chafes, but the feeling is easily forgotten when his expression hardens.

When Namjoon reaches him with a clasp to his back, the pair walks off. Not before he gives you one passing glance over his shoulder that leaves you feeling more restless than ever.

[brendaaaa]

Best Summer Ever (Max Mayfield x fem!Reader)

“This is gonna be the best summer ever!“ Lucas pumped his fist into the air.

He let out a whoop and cannon-balled into the pool, screaming as he went.

“Oh god,” Will covered his eyes. “He’s going to kill himself.”

“Ah, don’t worry, Will the wise,” Mike set a hand on the shorter boy’s shoulder. “He’s fine.”

You peered over the edge, into the pool. “It looks pretty deep.”

You hated deep water. It was pretty much an irrational fear. There was nothing that was going to get you in that water.

You looked over at your girlfriend, Maxine. She was looking hot as ever, with her long red hair in a messy bun and her freckles sprinkled across her sun kissed face. She wore a red bikini, a good look on her, you had to admit.

You look back at the water. It was dark blue, intimidating.

The party was situated in the backyard of Kimmy Taylor, Robin’s super cool (and rich) girlfriend. She absolutely loved the ‘children’ when Robin introduced them, and because Kimmy would be working, she had generously offered her pool to the kids for the summer.

It was pretty awesome, except for the fact that you were scared silly of deep water.

“Hey, El!” Dustin called out, running over to pick up the brunette girl, “let’s get in the water!”

He ran over to the edge of the pool, Eleven shrieking, pretending to be terrified although anyone could tell she wasn’t really, and jumped.

The two made a huge splash when they entered the water, and you shielded your face, although the rest of your body got soaked.

They came up laughing, and smiling.

You grinned too, as their smiles were the most contagious ever, and watched as Will and Mike jumped in as well.

Lucas, already in the water, came up from behind the two boys and started splashing them.

Everyone in the water started hurling water at the others, and it was actually pretty funny for you to watch.

“Hey love,” a voice said in your ear, and you felt soft arms wrap around your middle.

You blushed, and turned to look at your favorite girl. She rested her head on your shoulder, blue eyes smiling up at you.

“We should get in.”

“Wha-?” You said, not really hearing what she had said. Her beautiful face was too distracting.

“I said,” she crinkled up her nose, “we should get in.”

You paled slightly as you realized what she was talking about.

“Uh, no. I- I can’t,” you looked away, breaking eye contact.

“Aw why not love?” She whined, placing her cold hand on your jaw and turning your head back to face her.

You shivered slightly and looked at the pool. It looked like a blue pit. Deep, dark, and ominous.

“I don’t know…” you mumbled.

“Why not?” She said again. “It’s so hot outside. I mean c’mon y/n, I know you wore that bathing suit just for me…,” she said with a smirk, and you reddened, looking down at your rather skimpy one piece, and she continued, “But you wore it to swim too, right?”

Well, yes. But you didn’t know that the pool was going to be this deep!

Aloud you said, “Yeah...I guess,” not wanting to disappoint Max.

“Alright let’s get in then!” She said cheerily, and shook her flip flops off her feet.

You gulped, eyeing the water suspiciously.

“I- I can’t,” you said nervously.

“Oh sure you can,” Max rolled her eyes, “it’s just water, y/n!”

You opened your mouth to say something, and then closed it. As much as you wanted to please her, you knew that there was absolutely no way you were getting in that pool.

No way. You would stay perfectly nice and dry today, thank you very much.

Ironically, just after that thought, your lovely babe decided it would be fun if she pushed you into the pool.

You screamed, flailing your arms as you tumbled down towards the water.

The party all turned to look, some laughing, some smiling, but none appearing distressed.

You belly flopped in, creating a loud smacking sound as you were submerged in the water.

The water was cold, and even though it was miserably hot outside, it was not refreshing or nice at all.

It was freezing and miserable.

You realized with a jolt of panic that you were sinking to the bottom, like a rock.

Your cheeks puffed outwards, trying to hold your breath in, as well as the scream that was just dying to come out.

You kicked upwards quickly, propelling your arms around, trying to get back up to the surface desperately.

It wasn’t that far to the top, and soon you were gasping and coughing up water. Max plopped into the water next you, and wrapped her arms around you.

She leaned her forehead against yours, a smile tugging at her lips.

“Nice in here, right?”

You shook your head wildly, a few tears slipping down your cheeks.

“No, no. I want to get out. Right now!” You hiccuped, still kicking your legs back and forth aggressively, trying to tread water and stay afloat.

Max frowned, a bit concerned by your reaction, “okay…” she said slowly.

She pulled herself out first, and reached a hand out to help you get out. All of a sudden she stopped, peering at you.

“Y/n, are you scared of water?” She asked.

Well yeah, no shit.

You glared at her, “What do you think?”

“I-“

“Yes!” You cried out. “Yes! Of course I’m scared of water, why do you think I didn’t want to jump in?!”

She stared at you, a little unsure of what to say.

“You pushed me in! Why would you do that?!” You cried.

“Y/n,” she started, hands on her knees.

“Get me out!!!” You screeched. “Right now!!”

“Okay okay,” she grabbed your forearms, and pulled you out of the pool, dripping wet.

“You wanna, um, go inside?”

You nodded, huffing.

“Okay, uh, you can do that then. Um, y/n I’m really sorry,” she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “I swear if you’d just told me I would’ve never pushed you in,” she said sincerely.

You wiped your face off with your hand.

“I’m going inside,” you said stiffly, and marched off.

The rest of the party watched open mouthed, confused at the scene that had just unfolded.

You stomped into Kimmy’s house, flopping your wet body onto the couch. You groaned, feeling frustrated at your girlfriend and at yourself.

It was dumb that you got so upset with Max. She didn’t mean to push you in. She wasn’t that type of person.

Ugh. Why didn’t you just tell her that you were scared?! Why did your pride have to get in the way?

You groaned again, and clapped a hand over your forehead, covering your eyes from the light flowing through the window.

You surveyed the room. It was pretty nice, with some expensive furniture. Everyone’s clothes were scattered amongst the floor. Your eyes honed in on Max’s purple sweatshirt and brown shorts.

You smirked, getting an idea.

You pulled yourself off the couch, and closed the blinds on the window.

…..

“Is it just me, or did that pool get warmer as we swam in it?” you heard Dustin’s voice.

You were flopped in an armchair, watching tv and cuddled up in an afghan. It was surprisingly cold in the house, due to the air conditioning working overtime in the hot summer heat.

“You were probably just pissing in the pool,” Max retorted.

“Shut up Max,” Mike said. “We just probably got used to the water,” you heard him say to Dustin.

All of the party had shuffled in at this point. They all looked freezing cold, wrapped up in only their swimsuits and towels, shivering in the ac-blasted house.

“Hi, Y/n,” Max said, rather shyly.

You remembered that she probably thought you were still mad at her.

“Hi,” you said, giving her your warmest smile.

She smiled back, looking down at the ground. At least now she knew that you weren’t mad.

“So, who wants some pizza?” Lucas stretched out his arms, “I’m tired, and hungry as fuck.”

“Me too,” El piped up. “Can we get hawaiian please?” She gave Max her best doe eyes.

“Ah fine,” your girlfriend muttered, walking over to the phone.

She picked it up and started to dial the number. Growing up as a teen in the 80s, it was mandatory that you all had the pizza place’s number memorized. You never knew when you might need some fuel, or a pick-me-up.

Max turned back to look at El as she held the receiver up to her ear, “But don’t get that nasty fruit stuff anywhere near me,” she threatened, twirling the cord.

“I won’t,” Eleven smiled. Everyone knew that Max hated pineapple on pizza with a passion.

Max gave the order, and you, El, and the boys pulled out some board games to keep you busy while waiting on dinner.

The seven of you set up the candyland board.

“Why are we playing this?” Lucas deadpanned.

“Cause it’s fun,” Dustin countered.

“It’s a childhood classic,” Will insisted.

“You can cheat,” Mike smirked.

“Queen Frostine is sexy,” Max shrugged.

“It’s so FUN!” El beamed.

“I dunno,” you said. “But everyone else seems to like it.”

Lucas groaned, “Fine. But I better win,” he grinned, and flipped over the first card.

“Hey,” Will complained. “You don’t get to go first! The youngest always gets to first!”

“Yeah,” you laughed. “That’s me!”

And so the party played a rather uneventful game of candyland. Dustin won.

Knock knock knock.

Everyone looked up.

“Pizzaaaaaa,” Dustin said in a whisper, rubbing his hands together.

“I’ll get it!” You offered, standing up, and letting the afghan fall away from your body.

Max smiled at you, then a double take.

“Uh...y/n, are you? Wait a minute…” she eyed you suspiciously. “Are you wearing my clothes?”

“Caught me!” You laughed, and ran off to go meet the delivery guy.

“Hey!” She hollered. “Don’t think you get away that easy!” She was smiling, shaking her head.

“Get back here y/n!”, she giggled.

You ran, laughing and out of breath, to the door. You opened it up, and smiled at the short brunette pizza guy.

“Uh, three pepperonis and one hawaiian?” He confirmed.

“Ding ding ding,” you winked at him, and set the pizzas on the table right beside the door.

“Gotcha,” you felt Max hug from behind. You turned around, and kissed her cheek. “Hang on, I’m paying this dude.”

“Oh no no,” she said, smiling. “You, you are wearing my clothes! Why?” She touched the tip of her nose to yours, scrunching her nose.

You blushed, “Cause...I want to?”

“You look good, miss girl,” she whispered.

You coughed, and turned to the pizza boy and said, “Pay you back later?” as Max started to kiss you.

“Uh, excuse me-” he was cut off by you slamming the door in his face.

You laughed into Max’s lips, “You know, Lucas really was right.”

“What?” Max asked between kisses.

“This...is gonna be the best summer ever!”

Word Count: 1,877

[spunky-89]

All Power (Kol Mikaelson x Female Reader)

A/N: Woo a new fic! Cause updating or finishing old WIPs is apparently not as cool. Also, this fic is a bit of a crossover from Teen Wolf, not anything like major, just some references and such.

Word Count: 1.8 k

Warnings: None that I can think of

The air was tense in the courtyard as Kol stood protectively in front of his lover, facing off against his pain-in-the-ass hybrid brother. Elijah stood between the two trying to keep them from tearing each other apart. Freya was off to the side holding herself, feeling guilty for starting this disagreement.

“You come anywhere near her Nik and I swear it will be the last thing you do.” Kol threatened.

“I don’t like liars, especially not in the house where my daughter sleeps,” Klaus growled.

“You really think I wouldn’t make sure that my girlfriend had no ill intent towards my niece? Do you think that low of me brother?”

“Enough, both of you,” Elijah spoke, turning slightly to look at his youngest brother and his lover. “Now, would you care to share what this ruckus is all about?”

“I don’t know, ask Nik.” Kol spat, rage in his eyes.

“You stand there and make me the bad guy when it is your pet human that is lying and has been her whole time with us.” Klaus proclaimed.

“And how do you know this Niklaus?” Elijah inquired.

“Because I sensed it,” Freya spoke up, moving closer to the brewing storm.

“Sensed what Freya?” Kol snapped, becoming more and more fed up with the current situation.

“Something… off,” She tried, struggling to find the words.

“You need to do better than that sister, or else this is a waste of time because you have no grounds to accuse my girlfriend of anything.”

“Enough.” The woman came out from her position behind Kol and came to stand next to him. “Please just stop, all of you.” She requested.

“Darling?” Kol gave her a questioning look and she gave a heavy sigh.

“She isn’t wrong, I’m not human,” She started, avoiding eye contact and staring at the ground. “Well, not entirely human I should say.” She then looked to Klaus, “I’m honestly surprised you didn’t sense it. I mean typically wolves have a sense for this sort of thing.” She remarked.

“Get to the point, my patients is waning fast,” Klaus warned. As he did so, Kol took a threatening step forward, only to be stopped by a hand on his arm.

“Okay, calm down. The short version is I’m a werewolf.” The woman stated plainly.

“You can’t be, you’ve never turned on a full moon,” Kol stated, looking to his girlfriend in confusion.

“That’s because I’m a different breed and I’ve learned to control it.” She then gave a bashful smile at him and said, “I also happen to have an amazing anchor that keeps me grounded.”

“That’s it,” Klaus growled and sped at the supposed werewolf and pinned her to the wall, his eyes glowing golden. “Who are you?”

She saw Kol move to intervene but she shot him a look to let her handle this. She smirked as she took a deep breath and closed her eyes, opening them to reveal her eyes were glowing a vibrant purple, wolfish features taking over her face slightly. And before Klaus could make a comment or move, she dug her claws deep into his side and rake them upwards, causing him to release her in shock. She used that moment to roundhouse kick him away from her.

“Who am I? Well, I’m someone you really don’t want to piss off.” She huffed, fixing her clothes.

Kol was looking at her wide-eyed, never having seen her like that before. He watched in fascination as her face shifted back to the one he loved so much, though the claws on her hands didn’t disappear.

While Kol was focused on her, she was focused on Klaus. She knew she just poked the sleeping bear, or well in this case wolf. She acted casual, but she was ready for a full-fledged brawl. She heard him let out a chuckle, and her heart went icy cold. She knew that kind of chuckle. It was the kind that told her she’d just pissed him off and he was amused by her attempt to hurt him.

“That was a neat trick, love,” He said as he stood back up to his regular height. “But you’ll have to do a lot better than that if you want to hurt me.” He growled as his eyes flared and he started to rush towards the woman. Before he could even get close Kol threw him to the other side of the courtyard.

“I told you Nik, not a hair.” He seethed, standing protectively in front of his girlfriend, who was now minorly terrified and clutched onto the back of his jacket.

“Maybe I should just go,” She murmured to Kol.

“Nonsense, you are still welcome here,” Elijah promised.

Klaus had gotten up and was getting ready to argue when Elijah cut him off.

“Why don’t we give the lady the benefit of the doubt. As it stands, if she had wanted to harm any of us she’s had ample opportunities to do so and has not. We shall hear her out before we jump to any more conclusions.” He stated, his tone leaving no room for argument.

Everyone was slow to move, but eventually, all were gathered in the seating area.

“What do you want to know?” The woman asked, practically perched in Kol’s lap.

“First off, how is there another breed of werewolf?” Elijah asked.

“Well, there’s actually a few. I’m from the French line of werewolves, whereas your brother is of the North American breed. As far as I know, the only other breed is English wolves. But there are many different shifters out there from many cultures. Kitsune, for example, come from Japan.” She explained as best as she could.

“How is it we’ve never heard of any other wolves or shifters before?” Freya asked.

“That I am unsure of, but I’ve met loads of different shifters and other creatures. Where I come from, it’s practically a beacon for supernaturals.”

“And you can control your shifts?” Kol piped up.

“Well for the most part. The way French wolves and shifters work is that you can shift at any time, not just on the full moon. But the full moon makes us more susceptible to turning. But for older wolves, it becomes easier to control your shifts. Whereas baby wolves tend to be much more at risk of turning uncontrollably.”

She then spent the next hour or so explaining the differences between the different wolf breeds and other supernatural creatures, although she never really explained what she was. It was actually Kol that brought up the question.

“Me? Well, I’m kinda a special case. I’m a werewolf, but well, an extremely rare one. It’s why I didn’t tell you who or what I was.” She explained, clearly nervous to reveal who she was. But with one squeeze of the hand from Kol, she sighed and started speaking, “I am the twin sister of Scott McCall, the True Alpha. I am his opposite in most cases which makes us an elite team that is nearly unbeatable. So I am what is called a Compliment Alpha. Part alpha, part beta, all power. It’s why my eyes are purple. It combines the red of an alpha’s eyes and the blue of a beta’s.” She explained, once again flashing her eyes.

“Does that satisfy you Nik? Or does she have to go through her life story before you trust her?” Kol asked, seemingly done with his girlfriend being interrogated.

“I swear to you I am no threat to your family. I didn’t even know of your existence until Kol revealed who and what he was. Vampires are kinda new territory for me. This is not some evil plot to harm you or any Mikaelson. You all have become my new pack, and you don’t hurt your own pack.” She swore.

“I shall allow you to stay, but be warned little wolf, I see even the slightest hint of your inevitable betrayal and I will end you and your brother.” Klaus threatened, but instead of being scared she just gave him a smile.

“I would expect nothing less.” She teased as she stood from the couch. “But just so you know, my old pack and I are hard to kill. Trust me, many have tried, yet here I am.”

Kol stood as well and took her hand as they left for her apartment on the other end of town. He pulled her close by her shoulder and kissed her head as they walked out of the compound.

-----------

When they finally made it back to her apartment, he could see her noticeably relax.

“I have to say, darling, I’ve never seen you kick ass before but I would love to see it again,” Kol murmured as he wrapped his arms around her waist and laid kisses on her neck. She giggled and tried to push him away.

“Stooop,” She whined as she tried to wiggle out of his grip.

Kol, unfortunately, refused to let her go and held her tighter as he relished in her laughter. Moments like this were his favorite because there was just joy in the air. All troubles forgotten and burdens lifted to make room for the contentment he felt when he was with her.

The two settled down on the couch and just sat cuddled up in silence for a while. Kol was the first to break it after about half an hour.

“Would you have ever told me?” He asked, looking down at his lover who suddenly seemed very interested in the couch.

She sighed and sat up. She hated this. She knew he would eventually ask this. And she dreaded it because she didn’t have a good answer. But she knew she had to give him something.

“Honestly, I don’t know,” She started, “My identity and my secret is the reason why I ran here in the first place. The danger became too great for my brother and me to stay together. We had to separate, at least for a little while. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.” She paused as she recalled the day she had to say goodbye to her mother and brother. The physical pain she felt when she got on the plane without him. “I was scared.” she admitted, “I trust you, and I wanted to tell you so many times, but…”

“But what darling? Cm’on darling, I just want to know.”

“If my identity was found out, I would have had to leave again. Which would mean leaving you. And I couldn’t- I can’t lose you too. It would break me. Shatter me to a point that I would become volatile and dangerous to those who came across me. Because my heart’s been broken a few too many times for me to be able to come back from that.” She said quietly, not realizing that tears had begun to stream down her face.

Kol pulled her back into his arms and just held her.

“I swear to you my love, no one will keep me from you. Not even my brother.” He vowed.

[kaunis-sielu]

Not Soulmates

You loved Bucky Barnes with every ounce of your soul, with every fiber of your being and it kind of terrified you.

For the main reason that he was not your soulmate. It terrified you until you met your soulmate one day on the street near a little deli. He came bounding out of the shop and collided with you and suddenly the world was in color.

“Uh. Hi.” He was in his teens, probably around 17 with brown hair and blue eyes.

“Hi, what’s up?”

“Did the world just become colorful for you too?”

“It did.” You reach your hand out and shake his while telling him your name.

“I’m Peter. Peter Parker. Um, I don’t feel like I’m in love with you or anything.” You laugh and he looks kind of confused.

“That’s okay, you’re like half my age and I’m not in love with you either. Which honestly is a huge relief.”

“Okay good.” He grins up at you, “So Peter, how can I help you?”

“I don’t know. But if I need help or can help you how can I get ahold of you?”

“I can give you my number.” You tell him before holding a hand out for his phone, “I’m a nurse so I’m assuming that’ll be how I’ll help you.”

“Yea probably, I’m pretty accident prone.” He gives you a little closed mouth smile.

“Well, be safe Peter.”

“Yeah, you too. See you later.” He says before taking off down the street.

You head home to the place you share with Bucky and when you get there you’re thrilled to see that he’s home from his most recent mission.

“Hey Darlin.” He says turning his stunningly blue eyed gaze toward you.

“Jesus Bucky you were handsome before but you’re gorgeous in color. Your eyes.” You breathe cupping his face in your hand.

“In-in color? You met your soulmate?” His face falls and he goes to move away but you wrap your arms tightly around his neck.

“He’s like 16 Buck. Besides, did I not just say you were gorgeous? The most handsome man. God.” You slide your thumb over his beard covered jaw, “You picked me?” You breathe not letting him go.

“You’re stunning too Doll. Inside and out. What’s his name?”

“Um, Peter. Peter Parker.” Bucky laughs and presses a kiss to your lips.

“Wait here.” He says kissing you again before he goes into the bathroom. You hear some weird noises but when you go to peek he calls, “don’t move Doll.”

“What are you doing?”

“Just a second.” He comes jogging back out of the bathroom and you’ll never get over how handsome he is in color. “Okay, come here.” He holds out his hand and you take it before he leads you out into the hallway and then up the stairs to the roof. “I love you so much. And now that your soulmate isn’t a love soulmate I feel more comfortable doing this.” He drops to one knee and pulls a box out of his pocket. “Marry me?”

“Hell yes.” You agree dropping down onto his knee to kiss him. He laughs then slips the ring onto your finger. “Were you really waiting?”

“Yea.”

“Why?”

“Didn’t wanna put you in a bad position Doll. I know Steve is my soulmate but if yours had be your love I didn’t want to keep you from that.”

“I love you.” You tell him kissing him again.

Two days later you and Bucky are at the compound. After he’d told Steve you’d agreed to marry him Steve had insisted on having an engagement party. Not that either you or Bucky had fought him much. You’re enjoying the night, talking with Wanda and Nat when the elevator doors slide open. You glance over and see a very familiar face exiting the elevator with two other teenagers.

“Peter?” You say softly but he hears you and his jaw drops open. “Bucky Barnes! You didn’t tell me you knew my soulmate!” You yell across the room and Peter turns bright red. Both his friends laugh and the girl punches him in the arm.

“You’re marrying Mr. Barnes?” He asks when you make your way over.

“I am.” You follow Peter’s gaze to where Bucky is mock glaring at the teen. “James Barnes stop picking on the kid.” You scold and he laughs. “He’s harmless.” You assure Peter,

“Doesn’t look it.”

“Who are your friends?”

“Oh, um this is my girlfriend MJ and my best friend Ned.”

“Nice to meet you both. Enjoy the party, no alcohol, but help yourselves to anything else okay?”

“Hey soulmate?” Peter says with a little teasing smirk, “congratulations.” He gives you a hug and Bucky yells,

“Hey! Get your hands off my fiancée!” Causing the group to laugh, including you and Peter,

“You hurt my soulmate I’ll stick you to the Empire State Building in your underwear.” Peter yells back before giving you another smile and following his friends to the buffet. You make your way back to Bucky and you press a kiss to his lips,

“Good to know that my soulmate can keep you in line.”

“He can try.” Bucky teases, “But you’re more effective than he’s ever been, my Life.” Your heart flutters before he presses a kiss to your lips.

Thank you for the request @summerdaughter sorry it took so long

Tag list:

@abschaffer2 @dsakita @dramadreamer14 @thesassmisstress @andahugaroundtheneck @loving-life-my-way @thefridgeismybestie @killcomet @dumblani @im-just-another-monster @mywinterwolf @scuzmunkie @biskwitmamaw @geeksareunique @paintballkid711 @lumar014 @also-fangirlinsweden @connie326 @inkedaztec @valsworldofcreativity @strangersstranger

[redrobin-detective]

The 101 Deaths of Danny Phantom

AO3 link

One of the first things people learned about dealing with ghosts, other than not to try and date them, is to never asks about their death or obsessions. That doesn’t mean the citizens of Amity Park aren’t curious though, especially about their resident ghostly hero and the confusing and concerning comments he sometimes makes.

“Are you okay?” Phantom asked Maisie as she shook and tried to hold back tears after that car had almost slammed into her. She sometimes joked about getting hit crossing the street of her college campus to pay her obnoxious loans but it was another thing entirely to almost experience it herself. Maisie was nearly twenty, she shouldn’t be comforted by someone younger than her little step sister but here she was, shaking like a lead and leaning into Phantom’s comforting, chilly touch. 

“Sorry,” she stuttered, “thank you, I’m sorry I’m just-”

“Hey, it’s okay to be upset that was very scary. The thought of dying is very scary.” Through her adrenaline and her tears, she took in the ghost’s unnatural glow, his faded, barely visible appearance and the fact that he was floating a foot off the ground. Maisie knows this ghost, this boy, knows more than she ever could about death. 

“And getting run over by a car sure is a bad way to go,” the ghost kid chuckled awkwardly, taking his cold hand off her shoulder to scratch at the back of his neck. “You should see how my dad drives or my mom or my sister if she’s running late enough,” Phantom paused in thought. “No one in my family should have a license now that I think about it. Anyway,” he dismissed with a wave. 

“My sister and I were getting ready to head out to school and my dad was backing out of driveway too fast and didn’t see us and uh, luckily I got my sister out of the way in time haha,” Phantom trailed off awkwardly. Was it because of the uncomfortable conversation or because he noticed her dawning horror.

Her best friend ran the community college’s Phan club so Maisie was a member by default. Phantom’s death was sometimes talked about late at night, everything from wrongful murder to a freak accident. She never in her worst nightmares imagined being him being runover in front of his own house by parental ignorance. It was so normal, a quick mistake and a life lost.

“Oh my god,” he said with an adorable little green blush. “Why am I babbling about that? You almost got hit by a car, I’m probably retraumatizing you or something. I should probably go get the jerk who almost hit you,” he said before disappearing into thin air. 

“Tia is not going to believe this,” she whispered to no one. All she knew is that for the rest of her damned life she was going to look both ways when crossing the street. She’d seen first hand what a single moment of reckless driving could cause.

XxX

Matthew, not Matt or Matty or Hughie, Matthew shivered from the cold. He was only in his boxers with little Pacman on them. It had been fine when he’d gone to bed considering it was mid-August but Phantom and this stupid flaming mecha ghost had tussled outside the summer camp he was working at. He could see some of the kids snickering at his state of undress though he was just extremely glad they were alive enough to disrespect him like this.

“Oh man, I’m sorry,” the ghost kid said with big, sad eyes that looked so human despite the fact that they were literally glowing. He looked around at all the snow and ice left over from his fight. “Jeez you guys must be freezing, I wish I could warm you all up but all I can do is make things colder.”

“S’okay,” Matthew said through his chattering teeth. “Teaching the kids how to start a fire was supposed to be next week but we can get a jump on it.” That got a smile out of the ghost and within a half hour, the other counselors were distributing blankets and hot beverages to the kids clustered around multiple fires. They didn’t seem particularly upset by the potentially fatal attack, Matthew will breakdown about that at a later time when he was alone. For now, he just smiled as the children chattered happily with the ghost while he cleaned up as much of the damage as possible.

“So you spend all day fighting ghosts?” Zoe asked with stars in her eyes.

“A lot of the nights too,” Phantom nodded, “I do other stuff but yeah it seems ghost fighting takes up most of my time.”

“Where’d you learn those cool powers?” Zuri asked, miming a punch.

“Comes with being a ghost,” Phantom shrugged, “my ice powers came in later though so I still struggle a bit with them but I’m getting better every day.”

“Why ice though?” Morris said with his cocked curiously to the side. “I see some ghosts use fire or shadows, why do you have ice?”

“Ah that’s a little personal,” Phantom chuckled but his posture was easy despite the invasive question. “Specialty powers like my ice require special circumstances and a certain uh connection to the ghost. Someone like me couldn’t use fire or electricity or plants, ice is in my soul, it’s who I am.”

Matthew paused in drinking his lukewarm coffee as a horrible thought came to mind. He’s been an outdoorsman all his life, practically from the time he could walk. He’d been a deep woods camping guide for a decade before switching to working at summer camps. But the years working in the relative comfort of a stable camp didn’t erase his knowledge of how unforgiving and deadly the woods in the winter could be. A grown man, much less a young teen, would freeze to death in 20 minutes if it was cold enough. 

It made sense for ghosts to develop powers related to their deaths. Had Phantom been one of the dozens of unfortunate kids he read about every year who ran away in the middle of winter only to found later as a frozen corpse. He eyed the boy’s snow white hair and frigid aura he exuded with mournful trepidation. God, what a horrible way to die. 

“I’d get chilly with ice powers,” Tabby said with a shudder, she held out her cup of cocoa. “You want some of my cocoa to warm you up?”

“No thanks,” Phantom said with a soft smile that was warm despite everything. “The cold hasn’t bothered me for a while.”

XxX

Ghost attacks may be the norm but, if there was one good thing that came out of whole mess it was the fact that violent human crimes went down drastically. So when the rare murder did happen, the shock and fear rippled through the whole town. 

Stanford Newton had only been sheriff of Amity Park for eight months after the last guy had gone gray overnight and moved to Florida the next day. It was a daunting position but one he bore proudly. This wouldn’t be his first murder investigation having initially cut his teeth as a beat cop in Chicago but it would be the first in Amity. And it certainly was the first in which the dead served in an active capacity.

“Amanda Chastain, 27. Officially she was a waitress down at Spengler’s Diner but she’s been picked up for prostitution twice in the last year,” Stan said calmly, ignoring the cold, angry presence over his shoulder. “History of polysubstance abuse as well, not that either of those things mean she deserved this.” Used, beaten to death and then dumped in the trash like yesterday’s paper. 

He wondered if she’d come back a ghost or if she’d finally get some peace this world hadn’t offered her. “We don’t have many leads right now, I’m afraid. Acting illegally as they are, there’s not a lot of resources these poor girls have to turn to.”

“I’ll find them,” The Phantom said with blazing conviction, his voice thick and sharp as ice. “I’ll find and bring them to justice and make sure no one else is hurt again.”

“I believe you,” Stan nodded, shutting his notebook as he finally turned to face the teenage superhero haunting his town. He can’t say he liked what he saw. The Phantom looked even less human than usual, his aura flaring and flickering like the foggy mist before a heavy snowstorm. His unnatural green eyes glowered, painting his too young face in a terrifying light. 

The kid looked furious, clearly taking this death to heart. He’d read the Fenton’s memos about obsessions and such but this seemed beyond that. “But don’t hurt anyone to do it, or yourself while you’re at it.”

“I won’t, I’ll make sure they’ll face human justice and don’t worry,” Phantom gave a snarling smile. “No mortal can hurt me, not like this,” he growled causing the hairs on Stan’s arms and neck to stand on end. He flew off after that, presumably to track down Amanda’s killer.

“Not like this,” Stan mumbled to him, pulling out his handkerchief and wiping his brow where a cold sweat had broken out. “Jesus Christ that poor kid.” Stan had seen plenty of murdered and mutilated bodies in his lifetime, some of them even kids. He just never got to talk to them after they’d had their life forcibly snatched away. It would explain the ghost’s near fanatical determination to save others, why he took a stranger’s murder so personally. 

“I hope your own murderer is behind bars,” Stan said as he tucked his handkerchief back into his coat pocket. “Or even six feet under, for killing a good kid like you.” Stan made his way back to his squad car so he could head back to the station and move forward with the official investigation. But he’d eat his hat if there wasn’t a stammering lowlife there by tomorrow ready to turn themselves in.

 Maybe after all this was settled down, he’d delve into some of the cold cases stacked in the cellar. Maybe in there he’ll find a picture of a smiling, carefree teen who’d disappeared and returned with the power now to ensure no one else suffered as he had.

XxX

“Yes, I know about the Phantom,” Luis Oliveira will say to anyone who so much as brings up the ghost kid. Locals know better by now but the tourists eat it up every time. He twists his finely combed mustache and gestures to the floor where his audience is standing. “He died right there oh ten or eleven years ago.”

Luis has worked his way all across the the United States since he emigrated from Brazil in the 70s. He finally settled in Amity Park about twelve years ago. He’d never intended to stay in the small Midwest town but the fatal shooting of a young customer kept his little corner market open.

“He was a nice kid, always said hi to me and paid in exact change. Was big fan of the snacks I made, would stop by after school and take half my inventory. He had big brown eyes and a crooked nose,” Luis would smile at the memory before closing his eyes and frowning sadly. “One day, he came late. His teacher made him stay after to go over a failed test, I remember he complained. He was pulling out his money when robber burst in, demanding my money. I fumbled for the register key, dropped it. I bent down to grab it and I hear shots going off. Two over my head, another right into the boy’s throat.”

Luis will hear the sound of that sweet boy’s guttural choking sounds as he drowned in his own blood until the day he himself died. The robber left after the shot, Luis called the police and held the young man’s hand as he died. The would be thief were never found and Luis never did learn anything about the boy who’d died on his floor for getting hungry after school.

“As soon as I saw Phantom on the TV,” Luis would say, perking up after his moment of somber grief, “I knew it was that boy come back. Those kind eyes, I’d recognize them anywhere. He’s never come here but one day he will and I will be able to pass on my regret on not being able to save his life that day.”

XxX

“I think he killed himself,” Mikey whispered to Lester during lunch period, angling his voice low. “The jocks may love Phantom for his powers but I just know he was one of us, an unwanted nerd. I’ve seen him chatting up a ghost I’m pretty sure is Poindexter, Casper’s suicide kid. They’re probably bonding over their similar deaths and the circumstances that led to it.”

“That’s pretty dark,” Lester whispered back. “I also get unpopular vibes from him but I don’t think he’s the time do uh do that to himself; he’s too stubborn and protective. But I bet he was the victim of a prank gone wrong. Dash locked Fenton in the Janitor’s closet last Wednesday, he got out okay somehow but maybe something like that happened to Phantom. He always looks kind of annoyed at the A-listers, maybe they remind him of old bullies.”

“Nuh-uh,” Clara said, pushing up her glasses with her middle finger. “The ghost kid totally got electrocuted or something. He was fighting that weather ghost and he sent lightning bolts his way and Phantom flinched. He fought the Ghost King and yet a little electricity scares him? It might not’ve even been a lightning strike but something manmade like a machine backfiring or something.”

“Get real,” Mikey scoffed, sipping his milk with an eyeroll. “I’m sure we’d have heard about some poor kid getting zapped to death; this town isn’t that big.”

“We’d have heard about a suicide too,” Lester noted with a wry grin.

“Shut up Mr. I base my theories around Fenton who’s a known weirdo”.

XxX

“I’m telling you, the ghost kid died of some debilitating illness,” Abbie McMillian, retired school teacher and three year reigning champ at the Tristate area’s Daylily Competition. She sipped her tea and spoke with as much confidence as she had back in the day wrangling Amity’s impressionable youths. “The superhero thing is clear wish childhood fulfillment, a chance to live and be free like he never got to in life. You see how happy and carefree that young man looks while flying? Clearly he spent his formative years sick and weak.”

“No way,” Greta von Martin frowned as she aggressively stirred her own tea to show her displeasure. “I worked in a hospital for close to 30 years and I know what chronically sick kids look like and Phantom doesn’t fit the bill. I will agree he’s carefree when he’s not battling spooks but he acts like a stupid teen. I’m telling you, the boy got into his parent’s liquor cabinet or took a few too many of whatever pill was going around his school. Tragic but something that happens every day.”

“Greta, dearie,” Abbie said with a pinched frown. “We’ve been friends since grade school and I love you like a sister but you are wrong and until you admit it, I won’t share anymore of my recipes.”

“You’re just being stubborn because you can’t see what’s right in front of you even after working with kids half of your life, Abbie, love,” Greta sniffed. “And you can kiss my grandson’s help weeding you garden goodbye until you relent.”

XxX

Perhaps one of the most human traits is curiosity, especially about what comes after death. Now the good people of Amity Park know a great deal about the dead so the lives before is what attracts their attention and none so more than the ghost boy. Maybe it’s because he’s their hero or maybe it’s because he’s so young. Or perhaps it’s because Phantom is such a mess of contradictions that it’s very hard to guess how the unfortunate boy met his end. But everyone has their own theories, from the mundane to the fantastic, some with evidence backing them up and others pure poppycock. 

But for all their curiosity, as much as it burns them to know, they’ll never ask. They don’t want to risk the powerful ghost’s wrath but, moreover, it seemed in poor taste. The boy risked his afterlife to keep them safe, they couldn’t ask what traumatic and miserable circumstances had led to this point.

And besides, it was so much more fun to look up at ghostly figure as he sped through the skies and wonder.

[harveywritings92]

BNHA Dad scenario: They get the wrong idea.

You and boyfriend have the same birthday week, you bought him a gift and he didn't get you shit! the of course the two of you argue and in the heat of it your dad walks in to see what's going on, just in time hear you yell this little gem. "FUCK YOU I'M KEEPING IT!" and all hell breaks lose!

-----------------------------

Shigaraki: He came in to tell you keep it down! but as soon as he heard those words come out of your mouth; all logic was thrown out the window. "No daddy wai-" too late with impressive speed your dad had your boyfriend pinned to your bedroom wall by the neck with one hand with one finger raised to keep his quirk from activating. "I knew I should've decayed you the second Y/n saw you..." he growled ignoring his daughters attempts at prying his hand off B/n, who was starting to see spots in his vision!

"Daddy! let go of him please, it's not what you think!" you begged as Shigaraki looked down at his daughter was hugging his waist in a desperate attempt to get him to let go, Shigaraki looked between the two teens and with a growl he let go of the boy who dropped to his knees coughing trying catch his breath.

"Thirty seconds Y/n... " her father hissed keeping his eyes on the boy cowering at his feet and made a point by turning a coffee mug into dust. Y/n pretty much explained what had happened before he'd walked in, Shigaraki was silent which made the teens nervous. "Boy!" the red eyed man barked causing your boyfriend flinched. "Yes sir?" he croaked looking up at your dad and his boss in fear, as your dad held up the bag that had your boyfriend birthday gift in it. "I'm keeping this, until you apologize to my princess and get her something for her birthday!" B/n nodded "yes sir." Shigaraki then turned to you.

"And Y/n?" 

"Yes daddy?"

"Don't ever let me hear you say those words to a boy again, I'm not ready to be a grandfather!"

"Okay..."

With that Shigaraki left you room, but not before giving your boyfriend the I'm watching you, and I'll kill you gestures causing him to swallow hard. 

--------------------------------------------

Katsuki: You both  heard something crack looked in the doorway to see your dad standing there, he'd ripped doorknob off, he glared at the two of you with murder in his eyes. "Oh crap baskets." was all B/n could say before Katsuki got a hold of him! there was no point in running... He knows your dad would catch him no matter what. "I knew you were a scummy Lil'Shit the second I laid eyes on you!" the ash blond snarled holding your boyfriend in the air by the shirt collar!

"Dad! for fuck sakes put him down!" you yelled hopping on his back hoping he'd drop your terrified boyfriend, Katsuki was completely unfazed as a vicious grin formed on his face. "Oh I'll put him down...SIX FEET UNDERGROUND!" He yelled while B/n started crying and begging Katsuki not to kill him! "oh! for the love of... You forced me to do this dad!" Your dad's eyes widened as he realized you were going to use your quirk on him.

"Y/n, I swear to-"

"*snaps fingers*"

*Katsuki freezes*

"Sorry dad, but this is the only way you'll listen to me... I'm not pregnant!"

You hissed as Your dad's red eyes carefully settled on you as you continued tell him what was really going on, how you bought B/n a gift and he decided to be ass and not get you anything! "Now that we got this settled, I'm going to unfreeze you, okay?" Katsuki just growled and you thought it was over, oh you thought wrong! cos your dad had another reason to to be mad! You were confused when suddenly he dragged B/n out of your room and downstairs. "Hold up, where the hell are you going?" You asked watching your dad grab his car keys. "The mall, this Lil'shit is getting you something nice... Aren't you B/n?" Katsuki snarled at your terrified boyfriend. "Y-yes sir...whatever she wants" the boy stammered as Katsuki smirked and dragged him out to the car.   

---------------------------------------------------  

Hawks: A tense silence filled the room as your dad walked into your room wearing his hero gear with this scary smile on his face. "urm... Dad don't freak ou-" before you could finish what you were saying you felt something whiz by your head and heard a yelp behind you, you looked behind you and gasped seeing your boyfriend pinned to your bedroom wall by your dad's feathers... one missed his crotch by an inch, as your dad calmly walked behind you obviously very pissed because hey it takes two tango! "

"Young lady you had better give me a good reason why I shouldn't castrate that little crap you call a boyfriend right now?" Keigo demanded getting another round of feathers ready, he was dead serious, "Because you love me and I'm not gonna be a teen mom?" Your dad's brows furrowed in confusion he knows what he heard! "Explain." He huffed crossing his arms as your boyfriend open his mouth. "Well we-" your dad cut him off. "You got no lines in this play mister!" B/n shut his mouth as you explained what happened before you dad walked in. 

However your dad didn't look pleased with that story as he called his feathers back, B/n fell to the floor with a yelp only to cower as hawks stood over him with still with the same scary smiled plastered on his face. "Take my arm boy, were going for a ride!"  he tucked your boyfriend under his arm and walked towards the balcony, "Wait where are you taking B/n?" you asked as your dad chuckled. "Don't worry chickadee, daddy won't hurt him, we're just going to get you birthday present, right B/n" the boy nervously nodded then started screaming like a little girl as your dad flew off with him, It's times like this you wished you were born with your dad's quirk! 

---------------------

Izuku: Like Katsuki he broke the knob off your door! as you and B/n were caught in an awkward staring contest with your dad afraid to move, until you found your voice. "Daddy I know how this looks." Izuku's eerily calm voice cut you off  "I just wanna talk to him." he stepped inside your room making a bee-line toward B/n who was pushing your window open to escape.

"I just wanna talk to him." he said as you stepped in front of your petrified boyfriend again your dad repeated. "I just wanna talk to him..." again using that eerie calm tone.  Your eyes widened as you noticed the kinetic discharge from his quirk flickering in his fingers. "Y-You need your quirk to talk?" you stammered that seem to bring your dad out of whatever trance he was in and saw the terrified state you and your boyfriend were in.

Izuku immediately backed off and apologized to B/n who was still pressing himself against the wall; near your open bedroom window just in case your dad tried something. "Are you going to listen to me?" you asked voice trembling trying not to stutter, your dad swallowed shifting his gaze from B/n to you. "One minute." Izuku said sternly bring his gaze back to your boyfriend who still hadn't moved, as you told your dad what had happened before he came in to check on them, you saw your dad shoulders slack as he calmed but you could still tell he was mad. 

"B/n" Izuku said sternly your boyfriend flinch. "Yes, Mr. Midoriya?" he stammered as your dad narrowed his eyes at him. "Get away from that window, and meet me at car." the green haired man ordered. "Dad, where are you taking him?" you looked at him incredulously. "Me and B/n are going to get you a birthday present." he explained then kissed your on the forehead. "Don't ever scare me like that again!" he hissed as he left. 

[wolvesandpetals]

Loki x Sylvie Post-Finale Fanfiction (Angst, Rated Teen) Part 1 of 2

SPOILER ALERT.

It's probably just the alcohol, but the beats of the music are starting to sound a little bit like a marching drum that's announcing war. She can feel herself dancing along to it, but her whole body is on alert, ready to switch to fight and flight any second.

"So, cool place huh?" The bloke in the leather jacket asks.

She tries to remember his name. Jeff something. Or maybe Jed. No, not Jed, she's thinking of Star Wars again. That's what happens when you binge watch a multiverse of movies in a single day.

Oh, yeah, that's right. She broke the multiverse.

Another shot of tequila, and she takes not-Jed's hand in hers. It doesn't feel right, at least not the way-

No.

She realises he asked her a question, but she can't remember what, and she just laughs, because that always works.

Encouraged, he leans in close and whispers into her ears. "How about we get out of here?"

"And go where, exactly?" She asks, but she's not sure he understands, not with how slurred the words come out.

She laughs again, and this time, it's bitter. This time, she's laughing at how this is so him, this getting drunk in the face of imminent danger and making a mess of things.

(But I'm not you.)

---

She's frozen in her place the second the glowing yellow door appears. But it's not for her, at least not this time.

She hasn't been on the run for a while. Doesn't need to be. Because even though she is the one who unleashed the chaos, it's the chaos that needs to be contained immediately. She's low on the list of priorities.

The TVA will come for her. But not right now.

---

It's extremely easy pretending to be a psychic. All she has to do is take her client's hands and enchant him, find a memory, describe it back to him.

Sometimes she does it just for fun, just to see the look of amazement on their faces.

Other times, she does it for the money she needs to survive.

"And I see a blonde woman. Very beautiful."

"That's my wife."

The way he smiles, loving and proud, makes her heart drop.

"What do you see in her future? Is she happy? Does she get the job at the magazine?"

There is definitely at least one timeline where she does get the job, but The Enchantress cannot exactly tell if it's this one. She can't actually see the future, after all.

She sees the colors drain from his face as her silence swallows the room. "She's going to be okay, right? I just want her to be okay."

(I just want you to be okay.)

There's that bitter laugh again, because-

No. She can't do this right now.

"She loves you very much", she whispers, to the man in front of her, and to the man who is not there to hear those words.

---

Mobius finds her in the middle of a concert by a Nirvana where Kurt Cobain never died. She can easily slip away, disappear into the screaming, writhing crowd if she wants.

Or she can just take him some place quiet and hear him out.

"Help us", Mobius pleads. He sounds exhausted, and not just physically. "We're outnumbered and outwitted. Our world is in danger."

"This isn't my world", she reminds him.

"Yet, you're here", he retorts.

Her smile is pained. "Where else will I go?"

He is sympathetic, like he always has been. And he offers her a new glorious purpose. "Come with me. We need you. He needs you."

She feels the air find its way out of her lungs the same way she pushed him out of her life- painfully, forcefully. "H-how is he?"

"He's okay... all things considered."

Now there's a cocktail of relief and disappointment that will give her months of sleepless nights.

"Tell him I'm-" she starts, but she doesn't know how to finish that sentence. What can she tell him? That she's sorry for not trusting him when she should have? That she's sorry for making the universes collide?

That she's sorry for betraying him and breaking his heart?

(How will I know you won't betray me at the end?)

"Nevermind."

---

It's been really hard facing the consequences of her actions, watching the timelines bleed into each other and destroy people's lives- families torn, achievements gone, every little anomaly delving into death and destruction. Every headline on the newspaper is her fault, and she has to live with that.

But that seems so easy compared to this moment where she has to face him.

The plan was to send him away, kill He Who Remains, give people their free will back, save the world, then come back to him. Yeah, he'd be mad at her at first, sure, but he'd forgive her eventually, she was confident.

Then the timelines started to branch the minute she stuck the dagger in that terrifying man's chest, and she knew she had screwed up.

She had sunk to the ground in defeat as the realisation of the repercussions hit her, and she did what she has always done- run.

She didn't even realise she had sent him to the wrong universe until she teleported herself into another universe as well. The journey back was long and lonely, but she dreamt of him in colors while the world was bleeding red, and that was enough to keep her going.

She doesn't really know what she'll do when she sees him again. Neither does she know what reaction she expects from him. Nothing he can say to her can be worse than what she thinks of herself.

A part of her hopes he would be overwhelmingly happy, he would come running to her, just like he did at The Void, greet her with the smile that has won a hundred hearts- including hers, and tell her everything will be alright. Another part of her fears that he would be furious, and he would confront her with accusations of unleashing havoc on all worlds- especially his.

What she never expected is this eerie calm that makes her feel like she is standing in the storm center.

His walls are up.

And it causes her to redirect the anger she feels at herself towards him. There's venom in her voice. "So you do get to rule, after all."

"I don't feel much like a king." He shrugs. "I'm more of a multiversal janitor. Mopping up multiversal messes."

"My messes."

"Our messes." He corrects, his features softening around the edges. "We made a mistake." He has been saying that ever since he found himself in the alternate TVA, and that hasn't changed even after getting back to his own version of the bureau. Always "we", never "she". He simply cannot bring himself to blame her without taking accountability for his part in the mess.

"Don't patronize me." Her hands are shaking, just like her voice, a sharp contrast to his steady silhouette, and can he just hold her, please? "I don't need you to take the fall for me."

His eyes go cold, like they were forged in the heart of Jotunheim. "Of course not", he says, fully composed. "You don't need me for anything. It's not like we're in this together."

(Maybe we can figure it out-together.)

---

She now knows her walls don't- can't- keep the hurt out- it just keeps her locked inside this cage of distrust and insecurities. And the price she has to pay for it is too high.

They could have been lying on a beach somewhere, sipping mimosas right now. Instead, they're here, in the vast, silent library of the TVA, sitting on separate tables, reading files on variants.

The only thing worse than bearing the weight of his gaze is having him stare at his files without looking in her direction even once. She can't take it anymore.

"I'm sorry." She suddenly blurts out.

He looks up, confused. "I'm sorry?"

"I'm sorry for what I did." She repeats. It's difficult to start an apology, but once she finds the strength to begin, the rest of it flows automatically. "I'm sorry I messed up everything. I'm sorry I broke the timelines. I'm sorry the world is in danger." She takes in a deep breath. "And I'm sorry I betrayed you."

His smile is the saddest kind. "A Loki betraying a Loki. That's the least surprising thing in the world. What's shocking is how I didn't see it coming. You really had me going with that kiss. Very nice distraction. Very Loki."

Free will comes with the fine-print of living with the consequences of your choices. And she has to live with hers every day. The tears finally spill out of her eyes. She hasn't let herself cry for a long, long time. But now she's breaking down worse than the multiverse. "I didn't do it to distract you. I did it to say goodbye."

He gets up, and she panics that he's leaving. Instead, he sits down in front of her, reaches for her hand, but changes his mind mid-way and lets them fall to his side. "You didn't have to say goodbye."

"It's all I've ever known." She feels like that scared little girl, far from home, running from minute men, with nobody to turn to but herself. "I told you, I don't have anyone."

"You had me."

That's the saddest part of it all, isn't it? Everything else in her life is the TVA's fault. She's torn from Asgard? Hasn't seen her parents in years? Can't remember her brother Thor? Spent her whole childhood running and hiding? All TVA.

But this? This is all her own doing. This is the one time she had something real, something worth holding onto, someone worth fighting against the world for. Instead, she questioned his intentions, didn't hold on, fought him and ruined everything.

"I didn't want to rule, Sylvie", he finally tells her. "I wanted you."

She has dreamed of this moment when he tells her how he feels. They have come so close to it so many times, the words dangling off the edge of his tongue but never quite finding their way out. She has always known- every word, every action pointed to it. But it was so hard to imagine someone could love her.

It's so hard to imagine someone can love her again. The past tense in his wording terrifies her worse than any danger ever could. "Is it too late to fix things?"

His smile doesn't reach his eyes. "We are fixing things. That's why we are here. Saving the universe."

"You know what I mean."

"I don't know how to trust you again, Sylvie." He tells her point blank- no deception, no lies, no Loki-ism. "And you never trusted me to begin with."

That's not entirely true. She trusts him more than she has trusted anyone. "I really thought I was doing the right thing."

"I know."

(Not to be dramatic, but yeah, we're saving the universe.)

---

The Avengers are much nicer than Loki described them, considering they don't kill her for what she has done, instead tell her about their own journeys towards redemption. Wanda tells her about the man she has loved and lost, and the pain she has caused to an entire town. Barnes talks about his past as a brainwashed assassin. Clint tells her the story of Natasha and how she took charge and changed her life.

Thor is the kindest of them all. He talks about how far Loki himself has come. He tells her stories of his version of Asgard, the nine realms, the glorious battles, the beauty of earth.

She still dreams of death, but sometimes she doesn't.

Sometimes, she hopes.

---

(To be continued)

[ray-ray-writings]

ok so you know how the reader will call phil dad while dating technoblade? ok so what if the readers actual dad (who she doesn’t have a very good relationship with) comes back and ends up finding her in the tundra cabin with techno and phil, and is basically trying to grab her and force her home and phil and techno are having none of that so they’re like “get out of here before we take all your lives” and eventually the dad will leave but the reader will like be sobbing after it’s all over and techno and phil are like comforting her and reassuring her? tysm ❤️

Oh boy…. Here we go

The day was a normal day. Philza had come over for funzies, you two had decided to make cookies while Techno watched and laughed at you two. As you and Philza rolled out the cookies and placed them on the tray, a knock sounded at the door. You’re head snapped to Techno as you held up your dough covered hands. He just laughed and rolled his eyes before getting up and heading to the door. You and Philza go back to joking and laughing and soon you hear Techno say, “Uh, can I help you?” “Yeah is Y/N home” and then you freeze. You would recognize that voice anywhere. How the hell did he find you? Philza immediately notices the change in your demeanor, “Are you okay honey?” he asks, setting down the cookie dough and wiping his hands clean. You stare at him with wide eyes with your heart pounding as you slowly wipe your hands clean as well, “That’s Y/F/N. That’s my bio father” and Philza freezes too. He’s heard all about the man you had the unfortunate of calling your biological dad. Stories about things he did to you as a child, the horrible names he called you as a teen, and the thing he did the day that finally pushed you over the edge causing you to leave. You hear Techno hesitate at the door. “Uhhhh… Who’s asking?” “Listen kid. I know they live here, just tell me if they’re home or not” you father’s aggressive tone bites out. You have to take deep breaths in order to keep yourself calm. You move toward the door, but Philza gently grabs your arm, “You don’t have to if you don’t want to honey.” He whispers to you, “I know dad. But I think it’s the only way to get him to leave” 

And as Techno is about to bite back an answer, to tell your father off, your hand rests on his shoulder, immediately relaxing him. He turns his head to you with a confused expression but you gently move him out of the way. Your breath catches in your throat as your eyes meet the cruel one that you left behind so long ago, “Hello Y/F/N” you choke out. The name that escapes your lips causes Techno to stiffen. So this is the motherfucker that caused you so much pain. Oh boy, now your pink headed boyfriend is on high alert. A cruel smirk finds its way forms on your biological father’s face as his eyes meet yours. “Oh Y/N/N, have we really resorted to first names? I’m your dad” he claims with a false sweetness that makes you flinch. “You are not my dad,” you manage to spit out, “You are simply a sperm donor and that’s all you will ever be to me.” The fake smile melts off of Y/F/N’s face and he just looks pissed now. “I am your dad and I’ve come to take you home.” He announces, reaching forward and trying to grab your wrist, but you pull away in time, “I will be going nowhere with you. Not now, not ever. This is my home now and there is nothing you can do to change that.” “This is not your home. I will be taking you home right now” He spits, lurching forward again and this time actually managing to grab your wrist. Techno and Philza this whole time were silent and just watching the interaction, but as soon as Y/F/N put his hands on you, all bets were off. 

The two jumped into action. Techno grabs your father’s arm, the one that wasn’t holding you, and quickly twists it in a way that makes him drop your wrist and pins him up against a wall. Philza rushes behind you and pulls you away and cradles you to his chest in a warm hug. “Are you okay sweetheart?” Philza asks, running his hand down your hair trying to comfort and soothe you. “Yeah, dad. I’m alright” you reply, putting extra emphasis on the dad part. “Dad? You call this loser dad? Y/N he’s just a-” He doesn’t get to finish because Techno pulls him off the wall and slams him back into it causing him to let out a loud “Oof”. Once he’s sure you’re okay, Philza let’s go of you and slowly walks over to Y/F/N. “Yeah, Y/N calls me dad. They call me dad because I’ve earned it. I’ve spent a lot of time gaining their trust and making sure they’re safe and taken care of. I’ve never tried to force them to do things they didn’t want to do, and I sure as hell haven’t called them horrible names or beaten them. I know I don’t really deserve to be called their dad, but you sure as hell don’t deserve it either.” Philza spits in the darkest tone you have ever heard come from his lips. “Now here’s what’s going to happen,” Techno jumps in after Philza has finished, “You’re going to leave and you’re never going to come back. And if you do come back, we’ll take all of your lives. Kill you so much that you never ever come back in this life. If you think that I’m joking, then you have no idea who I am. I’m Technoblade. I’m the Blood God. I’ve taken countless lives and I’m not afraid to take yours. Do you understand me?” Techno barks into Y/F/N’s ear. All of the cocky demeanor has completely left Y/F/N’s body and he’s terrified and it shows. He can only nod, causing Techno to grin, “Good.” And in one swift motion Techno pulls your father from the wall and throws him, legitimately throws him out the still open door. Techno then slams the door shut. 

Once the door is shut and Y/F/N is out of your home, you can’t help it. Your strong demeanor crumbles and you begin sobbing at what just happened. The men again jump into action and pull you into a big comforting hug. They let you cry it out. They whisper sweet words in your ear, reassuring you that he’s gone and he won’t be coming back but even if he does, they remind you of the promise that Techno made to kill him. They don’t stop comforting you until the sobs die from your lips and the tears stop flowing. It’s silent for a few moments, you three just standing there, hugging. It’s nice. “Thanks guys,” you finally manage to sniff out, pulling away from their arms. “Anything for you baby,” Techno says with a soft smile. “Yeah, anytime kiddo. Anytime.” “Can we go back to making cookies now?” The two let out a laugh at the request but nod, “Yeah kiddo. Of course we can”

And so the rest of the day is spent in the kitchen, this time Techno actually joining you and Phil making the sweet treats. The two do their absolute best to keep your mind off of what happened. It works for the most part, you are just so surrounded by love and support that you can’t help but forget about the POS that is your biological father. And when you have such an amazing boyfriend and amazing dad that claims you as his own, how could you not?

There you go! I am finally caught up with drabble requests! So you can send in more if you’d like! I probably won’t write more tonight because I am very tired, but I will absolutely be writing more tomorrow!!