#i was trying to draw many things at the same time and this is what came out
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pissed and frantic

cw: cursing, slightly suggestive
jason is known of many things, his skills in fighting, precision, his blunt comments, and etc.
but one of his defining personality is being calm.
it's been hone and molded by years and years of training and experience, being able to stay calm and collected in the midst of chaos is a whole different type of skill.
and now, it become his second nature.
at first you didn't pay much attention to it, you understand that it is part of him and you love every aspect of his being.
until...
it becomes a frustration for you.
coaxing to draw a reaction from him, from little things like cooking for him, stacking his favorite energy drink, making him coffee, etc, although, you do all those things not only because you want him to see you and give a reaction but a little appreciation wouldn't hurt right?
but it's the same jason, neutral and stoic, although you know he's comfortable around you but it's not always consistent and you're okay with that, especially that he's adjusting his life again.
yet he just hum and nod then moved on with his day.
is it too much to ask for a bit more?
not until one time, he came home to drop by your shared apartment, which he usually does before patrol, and as he gets to the door, it's quiet, eerily quiet, it's not always quiet when you're around, he knows it despite not showing it, because either you're listening to music, watching tv show, scribbling, or just your overall presence.
he frown slightly.
he drop his bag by the door not even bothering to take his boots off and immediately goes to the living room, hoping to find you.
but nothing, okay, maybe you're sleeping early?
then he goes to the bedroom and not even your shadow or your scent is there, his mind is going to the most dangerous situation like it's wired to think the worst case scenario first, then he goes to the bathroom and it's also empty.
his heart starts to pick up.
he fish his phone from the pocket and dial your number while he roam around the apartment, as if there's more room you could be in, not even in the small kitchen, where he usually finds you around this time, making yourself a tea.
the phone rings.
then a ringtone echoes from the living room
fuck, she left her phone?
he doesn't easily panicked when it comes to things, especially in danger, but to you?
he was about to storm out the door and find you in every fucking corner, nook and alley of Gotham city if he needs to,
but then the door opens and you appear.
as soon as you saw him standing in the middle of the living room, with his outside clothes, boots, clutching around his phone and a thin layer of sweat on his forehead, you know something was up.
"you okay?" you asked with slight frown as you fully enter the apartment.
he was clenching his jaw, probably holding himself. "where have you been?" he asked, quiet and frowning a bit with an edge to his voice.
you head to the kitchen to wash your hands, too caught up the feeling of the trash bag you just held.
"answer me," he asked again with more firmness and demand to his voice, footsteps following you.
"at the back, i was just throwing the trash," you said after washing your hands fully and then turn only to see him standing at the doorway, almost crowding the entrance between the kitchen and the living room.
"why haven't you told me, why did you left your phone, did you know how dangerous it is?" he asked rapidly.
which you're surprised at the sudden outburst. "i was just throwing the trash babe," you defense as if he sounds ridiculous right now.
he looked away for a beat then goes back to you. "who told you to throw the trash?" he frowned.
"i j–"
"no, that's my job, what the fuck you doing? throwing the trash at," he retorted looking at the clock at the wall, "9 pm?"
"it's full," you added.
"i don't care, you tell me when it's full then i will do it," he said putting period on his sentence.
"why are you mad?" you asked, trying not to level his frustrations, as you dry your hands.
"im not," he answered shortly, as he turn around and walk to the living room.
you followed him, hoping to find answers of his outbursts.
"you sound and looked like"
he goes quiet again.
that expression, it's so guarded and reserved, it's getting into your nerves of how he could change his expression that easily, as if there's a switch somewhere, where he could go one face to another.
you stood there waiting.
he takes off his boots and places it properly by the door.
"you're not fucking touching that trash again," he said, passing you as he walks to the bedroom, there's no bite on his voice but rather a pissed off look on his face that adds fire to his overall body language.
now he's really pissed.
you followed simply because you want to see his face, his pissed off face, a reaction, finally.
you form your words carefully in your head, like a menace you are, adding gasoline to the fire, it sounds so sick but it's satisfying in a way, after so long of waiting to gauge a reaction from him, more than just a calm and stoic ones.
"i can do it, im not weak or an–"
"and?" he snapped, but not yelling, "didn't i specifically told you not to go out around this time, especially for a trash, baby?"
god, his eyebrows are knitted together, his eyes looking at you so intensely that it could cut you half, his jaw are clenching and unclenching, you swear you could see his pupils dilated.
please more
he huff an air out as he goes and take off his shirt in just a second.
"do you have any idea how anyone could just be lurking around and do something ungodly," he continues, venting his frustrations as he take his day clothes off while you're watching absentmindedly, "and i don't fucking care if it's full to the brim, you're not touching that fucking trash again, do you understand?" he asked, voice honeyed with vex and annoyance as he turns to you.
your mind is just going haywire at this point, you don't even know half of what he's saying, it's sick and hot.
"mhm, y-yeah"
"use your words properly baby," he frowned, as if taunting you for being stupid of going out this hour.
you sigh, acting. "it won't happen again"
"you better be," he retorted and the belt unclasping echoes through the room, the metal softly whispering to you.
while he's focused on undressing and finally getting into his under suit , he catches you staring at him, you're too distracted to even noticed him noticing you.
"you enjoying this?" he asked, snapping you back to the reality.
"huh?"
he huff an air out, looking at you, belt hanging on his pants, his boxer's waistband appearing with his bare stomach bouncing the light to your eyes, abs, scars and all. it's not the first time you saw him bare, but this is a different genre of him being shirtless.
he's pissed.
he grab his shirt and throw it to the laundry basket, looking at you.
"you like seeing me like this pretty girl?" he asked again, "pissed and frantic?"
"um"
"um what?"
you gulped, looking like you've been thirsty your whole life.
"nothing"
he scoffed, pressing his tongue against the inside of his cheek as he stared at you in sheer disbelief.
"don't do it again, are we clear?" he asked, pausing for a bit, thinking, "or are you planning this the whole time?" he added, his gaze drag to your lips, dark and deep with tinge of leftover frustration.
you frown. "what, no"
maybe just half of this.
jaw clenched, a sharp exhale escaping his nose. "no what?"
"i didn't plan this, that's, that's- no"
he hum, boring his eyes at you. "if you want to see me bothered, just ask"
"what you mea–"
"don't play coy," he cut you off, turning towards you "as if you're not drooling all over the floor," he remarked quietly, just above whisper, lips curling a bit, taunting you as he continue to take his pants off boring his eyes at you with that same darkening gaze.
"c'mere,"
"take a closer look"
yeah, you're partly thankful of the trash.
#jason todd#dc comics#jason todd fluff#jason todd gotham knights#jason todd x reader#jason todd x you#gk!jason todd#hisfavoritesundress#writing#hers<3#red hood#red hood x reader#red hood fluff#red hood x you#red hood x y/n
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I love your OC uniforms!! I’m always a big fan of uniforms designs especially sci-fi ones like watching Star Trek for the first time a few months ago kinda changed my brain chemistry despite it being so simple.
Your design is awesome, I love the cape and helmet and how it all fits together. I want to ask, what was the inspiration/thought process of making them?
(Sorry if this is a long ask 😭. I really love your art and you’re one of my inspirations. I hope you’re having a good day/night ❤️.)
oh hi! thank you so much!
to be honest, i don’t even know what to say? lol
i grew up watching star wars and star trek, that’s for sure, but i’m trying not to look at any existing media examples when i draw my OCs stuff. i usually overanalyse everything i see in media i watch so every time i see some sci-fi drip, the only thing that comes to my mind is: is it really comfortable to wear this silicone skin? the answer is often “no”, obviously.
i’m a big fan of layers when it comes to the outfits i personally wear! the more layers there are, the more i like the fit. summer is a complete nightmare because of this.
but if we’re talking about my OCs, most of them have to work in an environment that’s not healthy neither for their skin, nor for their eyes or respiratory system (cough- or their mental health- cough), so that’s the two things i held in mind while creating their gear: many layers of protective material to secure their physical health AND clothes i would find comfortable enough to wear myself if i had to. there are varieties to their equipment and not every worker wears the same, but i’m yet to make the classification of their gear.
and i also realise that their gear is absolutely impractical in some ways. it probably weighs a ton and it’s definitely hard to put on by yourself, it’s surely too warm to wear it all day long and what about going to the bathroom with all this stuff on them? meh. i don’t really care. sometimes you just create something only because “yeeeah that looks cool”, right? they’ll have to manage the bathroom situation somehow.

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if it's not too invasive, can I ask how you figured out you were a lesbian? I'm currently trying to figure it out for myself and find many resources like the lesbian masterdoc a bit confusing, since I experience a lot of the things outlined there and am unsure how to differentiate comphet from attraction. how were you able to parse it all?
hi there! i ended up writing more than i expected so i put it under the cut!
hello and best of luck with figuring all this out. it took me many many months to sort through these feelings when i first started wondering if i might be a lesbian rather than bi so definitely don’t rush it—there is no deadline and no one is requiring you to know anything for certain any time soon! i also know that the lesbian masterdoc has been helpful for many people, but a lot of the things highlighted there are phenomena bi women also experience and the original writer also ultimately came out as bisexual, so i think an important thing to keep in mind is that you know yourself best.
in my case, it feel like it was pretty easy for me to recognize and accept the presence of my homosexual attraction and harder for me to recognize and accept the absence of my heterosexual attraction, since it was kind of a given (in my mind) that i did experience it, because um… why would i not? eventually it dawned on me that i didn’t really feel the same draw towards men my peers seemed to despite calling myself bi for five years and it was something i kind of uncomfortably revisited now and again for a while and constantly put off analyzing head-on. it eventually hit me that if i ended up with a man someday and the relationship worked out so well we got married, then i would be with him all the time: sharing a bed with him at night, having breakfast at the same table in the morning, walking down the street side by side and hand in hand. forever! and this idea dismayed, suffocated, and freaked me out so badly i sobbed so hard i almost threw up in my bedroom one evening. i just kept thinking about how all of these things that should be so pleasant to do with a lover sounded like a complete nightmare with a hypothetical man. so after things came to a head in this manner—the culmination of a long build-up—i realized it wasn’t really accurate to call myself bi and over the course of many painful and uncertain months i began to tentatively call myself a lesbian.
i’m quite confident in my lesbianism now (four years after the fact!) but i hesitated to call myself one for a while because of the idea that maybe someday i would come across the right man, who wouldn’t suffocate me if we were romantic with each other and who i would actually want to be close and intimate with. if you’re feeling similarly and holding off on calling yourself a lesbian out of the possibility or the anxiety that you might someday find an exception to these feelings, i encourage you to try calling yourself by this label slowly, maybe even just in your mind for a while before telling anyone else about it, and see if that takes the pressure off a little bit. labels should not be constricting! if you’re calling yourself bi out of anxiety let yourself set it down and see if that makes you feel like you can breathe easier. if you find that calling yourself a lesbian makes you feel more anxious than before and limited in your life and options, then maybe you aren’t one and bisexuality is the right descriptor after all. give yourself the grace and freedom to mentally try things out and not feel you’ve done something wrong by seeing what is more comfortable for you.
one last note about comphet that helped me when thinking about it—i feel like a lot of people have this conception of compulsory heterosexuality as, like, a one-and-done type of thing where you recognize you ‘have’ it and then eventually become so secure in your sexuality as a lesbian that it ‘goes away’. in reality it is a complex web of social, political, and economic conditions that rewards and enfranchises people in heterosexual relationships. no one is exempt from compulsory heterosexuality, not even heterosexual people, and certainly not bi people, because that’s just how the world is set up. i hope this doesn’t make things more difficult, but i encourage you to view comphet as a systematic issue rather than a personal one and see if that contextualizes your feelings towards men any differently and what that might mean for you.
anyway yeah tl;dr this is how it was for me, you know what is best for you, don’t be too hard on yourself as you try and figure this out! everything is going to be super fine and no matter when you land on ultimately there’s no losing and no judgment. i hope you take care and i hope this journey proves much easier than you expect! 💌
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doodles of the wasp of all time


#DIES. GET HIM OUT OF MY HEAD#wonder what he does when he taunts. he seems so utterly flamboyant when doing so#I’m trying to draw something for Christmas but NOPE I got distracted and drew zasp!! yikes!!#it’s ok it’s ok I didn’t really spend too much time with these. I have time!!!#I’m So tired ok normal tag time#art#bug fables#zasp bf#bug fables zasp#zasp bug fables#etc and so on.. why are there so many tags for the same thing I cannot stand it#the. meds formy indomins sure kicking in#Indonesian insomnia shysgerr whatever
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Charicature / Chamra Girl
An AU that exists because I didn't want to let go of you.
#undertale#undertale au#chamra girl#frisk#charicature#<- tag for story...?#i was trying to draw many things at the same time and this is what came out#undertale oc#...?#also i'm getting better at drawing cg to my taste lol
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Good morning - time for my essay. Was this the first thing I thought of when I woke up? Yes. And then I glance thru my phone and see you posted ANOTHER comic - like, how?!!? How do you do this so fast @that1notetaker you're amazing!!
Okay, so, wow. The Blaise and Theo friendship here is so perfect! Like @jundsthoughts said a million kudos for writing this with Blaise pushing all of Theo's buttons but not going too far. Theos "dead-pan expression of you done fucked up" LMFAO like - that's what keeps Blaise in line!
You've opened the door to talk about Blaise and I have to be careful about what I say because I don't want to get too ahead of myself!! I imagine Draco and Theo to have cousin energy in my story, but Theo and BLAISE are legit BFFs and you captured that energy so well.
[Okay, in writing the little paragraph above I literally stopped and spaced out for about 10 minutes thinking about various future scenes in BOTL lmao so that was inspiration coming from you in real time I just wanted to call out haha]
Blaise thinking "MF get the hint!" makes me laugh out loud, along with all the little sparkles you added to his dialogue, so on-brand for him ahah.
ALSO - holy cow: I. Love. That. Theo. Steps. Back. When he gets mad and grabs Blaise (just fucking fabulous by the way, I want to frame that image) and then Blaise is like "my b I was just jokin", the fact that Theo facepalms and is like "ima take a walk".....I don't know exactly why but you just really hit his personality on the head with that moment. Unlike our boy Harry, whomst I love, I feel that Theo really would cool off before saying something he regrets. Just a subtle nod to that part of his character I love!
And then we get to his FABULOUS insight into Harry being treated like an object by everyone and everything around him - like, where is John? If he heard Theo say "I don't stand for it" in defense of Harry he would be drawing up a marriage contract. Or if SIRIUS heard that!? Holy shit. His brain might explode. He'd be sending letters to his godson like "So how's that Theodore Nott doing lately? 😉👀🥰" Love that all three of them are on the same mission.
Ugh, UGH! My heart! Draco and Blaise communicating via ESP like "this shit is serious" hahah!!! Yes it is!!!
Finally, I was reading y'all commentary on Jund's reblog and think that this is one reason why I love this ship so f'ing much. Then tension between Harry wanting to save or spare the people that he cares about from a bad situation because he knows/believes he can take it is (to me) so rooted in his self-belief that what happens to him doesn't matter. like, harry has no parents, no siblings. he has friends, he has people who care about him, sure, but even those few people would be "fine" without him (after all, they lived many years just fine without him!)
That's what I think Harry believes in his heart of hearts, even though he'd probably never say that out loud.
Then you have Theo, who is weirdly in a very similar situation. Even in other NottPott stories featuring different Nott family arrangements, his connection to his family is usually very weak or actively full of animosity lol. Of course in my story he has responsibilities tying him to the world, but for him his collatoral is his happiness and relationships with other people.
So you bring two somewhat self-destructive forces together, and Theo looks at Harry and is like "who is forcing this precious person into all this bullshit I don't get why he can't be himself/be happy/be safe" and Harry looks at Theo and is like "why does everyone treat Theo like a scary monster in the back of the room when he's the coolest, nicest, smartest guy in the world" and they both just want the best for each other WHILE respecting each other's individual strength and not necessarily getting in the way of what they feel called to do, even if it's dangerous.
Both of them might try too hard to protect or help each other in the beginning, but they'll level out haha. Wouldn't be a slow burn if there wasn't some sparks of conflict, right?
SINCE DAY ONE. @jundsthoughts @wixenforever
Another comic inspired by the awesome NottPott fic, The Burning of The Library by wixen here. In which Blaise is a suave motherfucker who wants Theo to get a hint, and ends up realising that the whole thing is deeper than both Draco and he thought. Theo remains oblivious for the most part, hidden under layers of intensity he doesnt have a name to yet.
Blaise, draco, who are used to this level of caring for one another from their parents. Also, common sense and Theo being an open hearted mf: 😳😳😳
Harry, somewhere: Ive never been more confused in my entire life.
#me and moose sitting here on the couch sharing our thoughts#well moose is asleep#i wrote this all before i drank coffee sorry if something doesn't make sense#nottpott#fanart botl
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#not to complain ab the same stuff i always complain ab#but my artblock is soooo bad . its so bad and frustrating and limiting and demotivating#because instead of being able to draw whatever whenever i feel like im chained to random bursts of inspiration#that i cant manifest just by willing it so yk. and imlike why…#so many ppl who draw whether for their job or for their hobby seem to be able to do it whenever#and its like yeah i could put pen to paper rn but theres such a mental disconnect that its not enjoyable anymore#dude its so whateverr😭😭 like its so made up and ik its just a psychological thing but it feels so physically .Hard#rrrgwgqq#like i try to maintain the habit by drawing stuff out even w no end in mind#but that also stresses me out bc its likeIDKK idk#silly tbh#seeing all of this art arnd me all the time > online and stuff is so nice and inpsiring#and it makes me want to do that too but i legitcannot . like i am being squished by a boulder and my hands are chained to 30lb weights#whatfreakign ever dude .like whateverrr#i want to grind my brain 2 a pulp . honestly🙌#like what do u mean u cant u literally just do it.but im the one exception to that
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lots of doodles because i forget to post art here most of the time
#lila art#genshin#clorinde#shenhe#kokomi#not tagging arlecchino because that does Not count as an arlecchino drawing LMFAO#He Knows Many Things.#dunmeshi#falin touden#laios touden#sorry that that siblings drawing is so blurry im too lazy to retake it#it has the lyrics to the siblings song below it bc i got it stuck in my head while drawing them#siblings! siblings! siblings! siblings! this is my sister! this is my brother! we are siblings and we care for each other! what we have! we#always share! cuz we are siblings and we have the same hair!!! dun dundun dun dun dun dun dun dundundundundun dun dun dundundun#im actually. rlly proud of those falin drawings on top#and also the clorinde one but i just drew that an hr ago so im probably going to come back to it tmrw and realize its super wonky but wtv#also the kokomi was a request from twt!!!!!#i have. a lot of those to do still#i will do them at some point i just dont have free time a lot#this is the first time ive had to draw in like two weeks i think#and my friends birthday passed and i promised to draw him hkvh so thats my priority#the clorinde was just supposed to be a warmuo#except he called me while i was drawing and we ended up playing sdv#so it was a warmup to nothing#anyway i had fun and i need to go to bed now bye#ALSO i forgot to mention that those shenhe perspectives are meant to look ugly i was trying to draw those perspectives from memory#because i was. in class.#the top down perspective is kindof cute tbh but the Other One.#its ok i love making my faves look dumb and uncomfortable on purpose
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yet another oc that only exists because i wanted to write something very specific

(middle is a little older, hence her scar healing. i like to think she gets a glass eye at some point)
anyway this is mira! (they/she) since that wip is almost 20k words and counting i won’t give away too much but long story short she’s the result of meta going “one last time, i promise” and adopting yet another kid
also galaxia kinda indirectly picked the name :)


i’ve mentioned before that i headcanon that pretty much all astrals are autistic and this is just kinda an extension of that. whereas meta tends to suppress his emotions and conform to others, mira…doesn’t. she gets uncomfortable and upset and lashes out at people easily, and working through their emotions is no small task.
the main reason i chose to write them that way was for the sake of narrative but i’ve grown attached to it because there’s a lot of ideas there i’d like to explore. stuff about navigating emotions and relationships when existing is so suffocatingly uncomfortable. it’s not something i could center around Kirby himself, but i think it makes sense with a post character development meta knight.


they are very loved (omg oldee cameo???)


kirby was definitely very excited to have younger siblings after being used to being the youngest in the room for so long!! (with the like. one and only exception being gooey.) he’s super affectionate with both of them and wants to have a close relationship one day, but for now mira is pretty unappreciative of that fact lol. they don’t like being pestered for hugs
everyone else is okay tho



(i know that’s hard to read. oops. “obvious bite marks”. siblings being siblings.)
mira also has a very love/hate relationship with the egg kid, being so close in age they kinda Have to get along but in typical sibling nature they also fight a lot. sure it’s probably rough for a while but i think in the end they’d be good buddies. maybe not as close as Kirby and Bandee but still.
anyway i have a lot of thoughts and am very busy but. i’m really enjoying writing about all this lately it’s been fun ^^
#I picked a name and then proceeded to write a comic in pen in which i used that name and posted it#and only after all that did i learn that mira is becoming a very popular name. which i generally avoid#but oh well. it’s stuck#im gonna be completely honest a lot of how i pick names for characters is based off of how many puns i can make out of it#im sorry to disappoint you with that information /j#kirbyposting#my art or something#meta knight#kirby#king dedede#metadede#Kirby oc#semi future au#I swear i’ll introduce oldee one day im just bad at having drawing ideas#also trying very hard to not make self deprecating comments over some of this art cause i just. don’t really want to spend forever redrawing#stuff anymore. like I used to do for a lot of these posts. It’s whatever#anyway kinda a part two to yesterday’s post (as in: I made sure they were both ready at the same time so i could queue them together lol)#weirdly enough this isn’t all that different from my dmk interpretation#i can’t really decide what color she is either#part of me wants to say bright blue red eyes because i think that would look absolutely sick but that seems like a bit too much blue#all things considered#maybe bright yellow blue eyes idk ill figure it out later (maybe)
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Would it be blasphemy to say that I actually don't want another Dragon Age game?
#i think that Veilguard wrapped most things up nicely#like i think that a fifth da game would be dragging it out at that point#not saying that i don't want another game in set in thedas#they should idk#pull a fable 2 and make the next game 200 years into the future lmao#i just think that trying to do another game set in the dragon age#with the current cast of characters#and the state of thedas by the end of Veilguard#i think its time to put the franchise to rest#before it suffers from the same problem a lot of movie franchises are atm; making too many sequels with unnecessary filler content#whether there's another game or not#i'll be drawing and writing about these games for years to come <3#i love these games and my silly little OC's and their silly little partners :)#dragon age#dragon age veilguard#dragon age origins#dragon age 2#this isn't a criticism of the devs btw#i loved Veilguard!#its more just that i cant see a way for anything more to happen in the Dragon age in Thedas#without it feeling like it's dragging the series out#we need to move into a new age in Thedas was what im trying to get at lol
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hey guys so I just started reading Flatland by Edwin A. Abbott and OMG AHSBNSBSBSNSNBSHZHSHDBFHGGHFHGRJ2KSHSBSNSK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE THINKING ABOUT THE RELATIVITY BETWEEN DIMENSIONS!!!!!!
#probably the nerdiest thing i will ever read in my entire life but I AM SO HAPPY#Its the unabridged and corrected 1992 republication btw. if you wanna get specific#the only book in which i have actually decided to read the introductory notes and i do NOT regret it because the editor's one IMMEDIATELY#brought up the “oh but surely the second dimension has thickness how else would flatlanders see anything” AND GAVE A REALLY GOOD ANSWER.#which i cannot tell you here. bc it is several paragraphs long and idk how i would shorten it. i would hit tag limit. if thats a thing.#anyways. I'm only a little bit into the first part which basically explains how Flatland works as a society so i haven't even gotten to the#sphere yet but OH MAN I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO EXCITED ABOUT A ROUND OBJECT IN MY LIFE#IM LOSING IT OVER THIS BOOK AAAA :D#me: im so glad i dont have a math class during my senior year! now i dont have to learn anything math-related!#also me: but what if i started studying a complex and almost entirely theoretical part of geometry#bc YEAH i didn't just buy this book bc of gravity falls. I BOUGHT IT BC IVE BEEN RESEARCHING THE 4TH DIMENSION WOOOOOOO!!!!!#one thing i will say i dont like. introductory note suggests the the 4th dimension might be time. this is ok tho bc its followed up with#also saying that time is not a spatial dimension and exist across the 0 1st 2nd and 3rd dimensions which. that epuld mean we live in 4d#already. so. i was worried for a second but THANK YOU THANK YOU OH MY GOD PEOPLE TRYING TO SAY “OH THE 4TH DIMENSION IS TIME” I HATE THAT SO#MUCH AAAAGGHHHH AT LEAST RECOGNIZE ITS NOT SPATIAL!!! TIME IS NOT A SPATIAL DIMENSION!!!!!!! IF IT WAS THEN 4D TRAVEL AND TIME TRAVEL WPULD#BE FHE SAME THING AND DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY MUCH COOLER POSSIBILITIES WPULD BE THROWN AWAY IF THAT WAS THAT CASE!!!!! AND. AND. IF THE 4TH#DIMENSION IS TIME. THEN WHATS THE 5TH?? 6TH?? YPU CANT KEEP GOINF ON FOREVER LIKE THAT. YPURE JUST MAKEING MORE 3D WORLSS WITH STUFF IN#ADDITION TO TIME. INTERESTING BUT THAY IS NOT ABOHT HIGHRER DIEMSBSJSNSBAKAJSHDHDHHDHDHDJ#sorry for the rant. jsut. agh i want a spatial 4th dimension. i dont think tesseracts exist through time that would just be an aged cube#anyways yeahhh i love the 4th dimension. new hyperfixation or new special interest? ill have to wait and see. anyways i have done it i have#an oc whos 4 dimensional now and she is the coolest ever i love her#but yeah this book is sosososo good i am literally gonna bring it to school to read instead of draw bc i would lose it if i didn't#10/10 would recommend to anyone who wants to Think
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having a fantasy au moment it may or may not pass
#st fantasy au . sav me#likeekj. im not done thinking about cleradin. can we. have we considered. wait. wait. im alraedy writing . wait.#i'm trying sooooooooooooooo hard to be organized and plan it out but. But. i simply cannot stop envisioning scenes#the whole theme of childhood innocence rotting under your floorboards and in your wallpaper and behind your ribs in st#but this time. it's set on the battlefield and in. idfk. a stone castle?? waiiit no mabye a motte and bailey. HM. much to think about#i love drawing from medieval customs for this actually. so many rabbit holes to fall down#and i can't Not put a magic systrm in there#ok getting back on track#i mean i just think particularly with the party. growing up is such a huge part of it thematically the good and the bad and the horrible#and this time it's all about. you know. you're too old now not to go fight for your own future etc but is it actually yours#or has this path been chosen for you by the way things are and how they seem like they'll always be exactly the same#that metaphor in the show turned literal. you are a soldier because of course you are. but what if you Weren't.#<-and what if you didn't have to wrangle yourself into another shape to better fit into the life you should have. or something#i can weave threads of forced conformity vs acceptance in there too especially from mikes point of view I LOVE IT HEREE#i know i'm getting rambly and incoherent i'm exhausted but. do u see my vision
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How’s life? No pressure question ofc, but if you want to share please feel free to do so with this ask :3
Eh, it doesn't feel all that great right now. I'm tired and hungry a lot, but I just have to get a routine together. My sleep has been wonky, I've been waking up too early, but I feel fine then but it also feels like I can't rest completely- I have dreamless nights mostly. And I also just get annoyed a lot, but it feels better being around people I like.
#my father is upset today too cause I couldn't hang out with him#I talked to a social worker at school a few days ago just for check in and in my opinion I still feel bad even talking to her#it's been a rough week and I'm not sure what to do except deal with it and move on#I like to draw still#I dont want to get tired of it#I mean at least I'm doing productive things like laundry and showering#I'm gonna have spaghetti today that's a good thing#I'll have clean sheets for my bed that's good too#I got presents a day earlier and that's good#I like listing the positives#It kinda gives me ideas for writing#I really wanna eat all these positive things i mean the feeling it gives me in itself#I really love the good things I don't ever want to lose them#I'm actually gonna try to make a doll bunny today#I got dug up old fabrics in my room so I can experiment with something new#I'd list more good things but I'd sound kinda weird doing that in the tags#I should probably journal again but my mind blanks when I try but I'll figure it out#I mean poetry and fanfiction is always an outlet#I gotta practice that more often#There still a ways to go in life so obviously it'll change eventually it always does#And it's only one of many weeks so I can't be too doubtful#It can't always be the worst#Feeling the same feels awful#No matter the emotion it kinda turns numb if you feel it long enough#Days are always changing though since everybody is doing different things everyday all the time#Like most say 'it gets better' eventually#I guess I can wait for a good day#I have no choice sooo I'll let whatever happen#Well technically I can make it happen#I'll feel better when I made myself dinner and cleaned my bed and put away my laundry and put on fuzzy socks and go to sleep
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#let me express to u perhaps The frustration of my life#i like to learn. it is perhaps my favorite thing. new information. more more more constantly#but. my fucking brain is the fucking worst. because im not fucking stupid if i can focus and process the words being said i can understand#many things. i like to learn about math and physics and chemistry and biology and anatomy... ect concepts#but the focus and the processing of words is where we have problems. because i cannot focus for more than like 5min#i blink and suddenly ive been spaced out for a sec and need to reorient. i cant prioritize what to do 1st and im constantly bouncing betwee#tasks so nothing ever gets done and im too intimidated to start learning things. and when im trying to learn we habe the processing words#problem. like my reading comprehension is so fucking bad. like i will read a book on paper and maybe retain 25% of the info if im not#hardcore trying. for a class where i had to do a ton of paper reading. i had to read everything out loud to myself. highlight important#info. write myself a summary based on the highlights and then read the paper again before i could even begin to feel comfortable in#discussions. it was so fucking frustrating and miserable. ppl will give me physical books and im like thanks i cant fucking read sorry#too fucking dyslexic. read and listen they say. u have to read and listen at the same time bc i cant pay attention and i cant read#so if i do both then maybe the info gets in. thats y i have to read aloud but i hate it and still get distracted#i mean. i probably just have an attention problem. its also really annoying that my short term working memory is so awful#bc in order to make things make sense i have to draw or write them out. i cant judt go off the top of my head or i get stuck saying thr sam#thing over and over and over. its like my ability to think is extremely shallow. but thrn i read papers and recognize concepts from classes#i took years ago and im like. fucking y cant i know what i know? my head feels so empty but info is in there somewhere#its just so fucking frustrating that i love understanding systems so much. complex annoying little systems that fit together like a puzzle#and my fucking brain refuses to accept the information im trying to get in there. so i return to a remark left on my dyslexia assignment:#intelligent when not constrained by language or time. thanks. unfortunately language is how ppl communicate#also i freak out under time pressure lol. anyway ive just been reading papers for fun this weekend and remembering y i dont: bc its agony#but also i fucking love the concepts so much and i need a good understanding of photosynthesis before August when i join a photosynthesis#lab lmao. ugh. i love learning but my brain was not buildmt#built for it. if only if only someone could podcast about the obscure things im interested in while reading directly from the source#unrelated#also its like 105 degrees plus. its too fucking hot out#thats like 40 degrees C. the sun is like a death ray
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i do love that vash is the Definition of high int, low wis. he puts on the goofiness to get ppl to not pay attention to how absolutely Bonkers skilled he is so ppl just assume he's a dumbass. and like. he IS. in some ways. he is SUCH a dumbass. but he's an incredibly intelligent dumbass. he has layers.
#speculation nation#focusing on the wiki page's bit that says his IQ is higher than most humans#like YES he's a rabid little guy (big guy tbh) all bark no bite least intimidating motherfucker around (until he Gets Serious)#but he's also like. legit super sharp. like Geeze it takes me by surprise anytime i see it#if any1 thinks he's genuinely stupid. Pls. pls. pay attention. he is VERY smart.#he also is the kind of stupid where he would shoot a hole in a jelly donut#listen you can be highly intelligent and highly stupid at the same time. believe me. that is my entire existence.#me projecting onto vash in yet another way re: high int low wis#im a total dumbass & make all sorts of stupid decisions. many just for the fun of it#like how yesterday i sampled the hazelnut extract. despite knowing FULL WELL that sampling the rose and vanilla extracts#made my tongue numb. guess what happened when i tried the hazelnut extract?#if u guessed that it made my tongue numb. ur right!!! i had to go to the sink to rinse out my mouth just like i did with the rose n vanilla#did i know that was going to happen? yes! did i sample it anyways? YES! this is the kind of chaotic dumbass im talking about here#sometimes life is boring and you gotta do what u gotta do to get ur kicks ok.#vash is an immortal guy living his life trying to be underestimated so he doesnt have to get into fights#but pulling out the Big Guns (heh) if it comes down to it. and STILL manages to be skilled enough to keep it non-lethal#the fucking Precision he needs in order to shoot nonlethally with his pinpoint accuracy is Insane#ok im a wolfwood girlie first and foremost but the more i think about Vash the more im drawing hearts around him in my mind#i think. im more in love with trimax vash than tristamp vash is the thing. i love them both but FUCK dude#trimax vash is just. hooooooooooooo boy#just like wolfwood. i prefer trimax wolfwood over tristamp wolfwood. that's just the facts#idk where im going with this. im just drawing hearts in my mind's eye around them Both now. there is no downside
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Some more team captain ids! This time with the middle layer gang 👍
#keese draws#oc art#oc#lobotomy corporation#lob corp oc#featuring one of my og favorite children mason <3333#which evidently shows in her being the least of a wip among these three#I ofc did do some parker brainstorming a while back but I’ve been second guessing many of the concepts I latched onto#mostly the bloodfiend thing it just feels too like. basic I guess?#like in terms of making nuggets that aren’t fully human I just find that to be too easy and kind of boring#in terms of what I personally have fun writing to be clear#and especially as I’ve made more nuggets who have some fuckery going on with their age and/or human status the bloodfiend idea just doesn’t#grip me the same way and as such it’s made parker as they stand a less appealing character to keep working on to me#so I’ll probably play around with some other options#the main thing I wanna maintain is their general philosophy in life and basic personality#so I have plenty of options I just need to start making shit up#as for eva she’s just kind of suffered from being in too close proximity to mason since I got her#as in I hired them both literally at the same time and was instantly smitten with mason#she and her sister got massively overshadowed by mason to the point that I let said sister die while trying to complete my first dusk ordea#now tbf I Did like her and hannah (said sister) but I had already had my last near victory go to shit due to little red so I was willing to#make the sacrifice despite my general attitude of keeping my guys alive no matter what#now tbf. I Could have brought her back with a memory repository. but this was also back when I stubbornly refused to use them so.#but yeah because I adored mason and eva went from having one noteworthy dynamic to zero she didn’t get to float in my mind much#and yes I know I know her sister died and that’s a big thing for her but my joy in suffering energy was going towards mason at the time#since he was my newly appointed censored guy#but now that I’ve gotten over the mason craze and have been working on developing my guys more eva has been growing on me#particularly because of the captains she’s probably the least shitty (no one tell mason) while also being one of few ppl here who’s faced#such a devistating loss so unnecessarily#she’s genuinely trying to be a good boss and a good person all while falling apart at the seams and I think she should have some#ego corrosion going on because I think she should be psychologically tormented even more <3
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