#i was talking with a friend about what they've been doing with dr who lately

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

JOHN: are you from space?

KARKAT: OF COURSE I'M NOT, YOU QUARTER WIT.

JOHN: oh.

KARKAT: NOBODY'S FROM SPACE. I'M FROM A PLANET LIKE EVERYONE ELSE

[maltesejjong]

Its my first time putting a request so I'll try to sum it up!!

Could you make a bangchan x f!reader? Where yn and Chan have been trying for a child for abt 2 years they've had 3 or 4 miscarriages and after a long time, they have 2 beautiful twins!! (You don't have to do it if you don't want to!! Your health comes first 💗)

OMG ilysm for this. Thank you for being my first request, and thank you for trusting me to be your first request! Before I go any further, though, I want to touch on a few things with this one. First off: this is a very real thing that doesn’t get talked about enough . Miscarriages happen and there is no shame. If you have ever lost a baby before, please know that you are stronger than you think, and that you did nothing to deserve such a loss. Secondly: this is a major fear of mine. I want nothing more than to be a mother. I have had three moms throughout my life and I want to be able to give someone the love and protection the first two didn’t give me. I’m also the mom friend so yeah lmao. Finally, to all the moms out there, or those who would have been moms if not for this loss: thank you for all you do. You deserve more than what you have because you truly do the most unappreciated task in the world. You bring children into the world and give them life, regardless of if you lost the baby, there was still a life force that you created. That is an amazing accomplishment. I apologize ahead of time if any of that seemed insensitive but please know you are loved and appreciated. You are not alone🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

ONTO THE POST!

Warnings: mentions of miscarriages, that’s pretty much it. You’re married to Chan, afab!reader. Pure fluff! Oh, and mentions of girl dad Chan idk bout y’all but girl dad Chan needs a warning because he’s TOO DAMN MUCH ISTG HE IS A GIRL DAD

There’s a time skip bc I was lazy and wasn’t sure what to write as filler lol I’m sorry😭😭

Wc: Idek I didn’t count

Enjoy 😊

꒰ঌ(⃔ ⌯' '⌯)⃕໒꒱

You sigh and drop your head back to rest on the cabinet behind you. It had been almost two whole hours since you laid the damp stick on the counter and slid down to sit on the cool tiled floor. You had been feeling nauseous lately, but chalked it up to something you ate.

Until you realized you’re late.

By three weeks.

Three. Whole. Weeks.

You’re never late.

So, of course, you decided to take a pregnancy test.

While your husband was at work.

It’s not that you don’t want Chan to know. It’s just… after so long, after trying for this long, all the disappointment and heartache that came with each failed pregnancy, you learned to avoid the topic of kids. Specifically kids of your own. As much as you both want kids, the hardship of discovering each miscarriage broke your spirits.

So you’ve learned not to get his hopes up. Which is why you keep a secret stash of pregnancy tests. Because no matter what, you always get your hopes up when you realize what is most likely going on with your body.

You close your eyes, trying to relax your mind when your phone buzzes, bringing you out of your thoughts.

💙channie💙: hey princess. I’m on my way home

You: alright babe

💙channie💙: want anything from the store?

You: ice cream?

💙channie💙: ofc baby. I’ll see you soon love you

You: love you too. Drive safe💞

Sighing, you put your phone down, knowing you need to get this over with before he gets home. You slide your thumb over the diamond on your left hand before pushing yourself up to look at the results of the test.

“Shit,” you mutter. “I knew it.”

Four months later

You let out a sigh as the doctor spreads the cold gel across your belly, which, despite being four months pregnant, has stayed suspiciously flat. Hence why Chan never caught on.

“How’s the morning sickness?” Dr. Kim asks.

“Gone,” you say.

“Any general nausea?”

You shake your head. “Only when I sit or stand up too fast.”

He nods and hums to himself. “Any cramping? Abnormal bleeding?”

“None,” you happily reply.

His eyes flick up to yours. “Have you told your husband yet?”

You close your eyes. “No,” you whisper. “And please don’t hint to him.”

“Like I would,” the doctor scoffs.

Dr. Kim, as he is known at work, is one of your closest friends. The only time you ever call him Dr anything is when you’re in his office. Outside these walls, he’s just Seungmin to you. Your best friend since high school. He’s also the first person you tell when you’ve gotten pregnant in the past… and the first to know when you lost the baby.

“I can’t tell him, Min,” you say quietly.

“Why’s that?”

You feel your eyes start to burn. “What if I lose another one?”

Seungmin stops what he’s doing and grabs your hand. “Y/n, do you realize how long it’s been? It’s been four months. In the past, it only lasted half of that. I think it’s safe to tell him. You’re more than halfway through your pregnancy. Doesn’t he deserve to know?”

You bite your lip. “I don’t want to get his hopes up, though. It would crush him.”

“And it wouldn’t crush you?”

You blink back tears.

“Y/nnie, this is why you’re married. In sickness and in health, remember? You’re with each other through thick and thin. If this is gonna crush him, then let it crush you too. It’s okay to go through that. I understand protecting him, but have you ever considered that he wants to do the same to you, but he can’t? Let him in. Let it hurt if it ends up hurting. But you’ll heal together.”

“Minnie… as a professional… do you…?”

He understands your unfinished question. “Yes, love,” he says, eyes softening. “I think it’ll make it. So tell him.”

You take a deep breath and nod. “I will.”

*************

You feel something tickle your shoulder and sleepily roll away from it. But it returns, traveling up to your neck.

“Mmm,” you groan tiredly.

“Morning, beautiful,” Chan whispers against your skin.

You roll over to face him. “Morning,” you reply, feeling a loopy grin stretch across your face. You sigh contentedly when his hand slides up your waist and rests there, holding you close. You peek up at him, recognizing the glimmer in his eyes. “What?”

His dimples appear. “Nothing,” he instantly replies. “You’re just so pretty.”

You squint at him. “Is that all?”

“What? I can’t call you pretty?”

“Christopher Chan, I know that look in your eyes. Out with it.”

He props himself up on one elbow, half hovering over you. “I was thinking…”

“Oh boy, that’s never good,” you tease, reaching up to tangle your fingers in his soft black hair.

He closes his eyes in bliss for a moment, than takes a deep breath. “What do you think about adopting?”

You go still. “What?”

“Adoption. I don’t know I just think maybe it’s time to add another member to the family?”

You bite your lip. “But… baby. We already have another addition to the family.”

He looks at you, obviously confused off his ass. “We do?”

You nod, steeling yourself. “Well… it might take a bit but… yeah we do…”

“Love, what are you talking about? It’s not a very long process. Did you pick one out without telling me?”

You feel your eyes widen as you realize he’s not talking about the same thing you are. “Channie, what are you on about?”

“I asked you first.”

You shake your head. “Not until you spill.”

“A dog, babe. What else?”

“A… a dog?” You ask in exasperation. “I thought you were talking about a child, Christopher.”

“No…?” You watch his eyebrows join together in thought. “Wait. Back up. We already have another addition? What is that supposed to mean?”

Shit. “Umm…” you start to consider saying you actually did pick out a dog already. “Nothing.”

“No no no no no. Nah-uh. Y/n. What did you mean?”

You shake your head, refusing to answer.

“Fine then.” His hands meet your shoulders and he pushes you into your back, hovering over you. “You don’t wanna talk? Fine. Then I’m not getting up.” And he plops down on top of you, dead weight.

Of course, it hurts. Hurts even more considering you have an extra little someone residing in you. “Shut,” you yelp. “Chan get off.”

There’s something in your tone that makes him shoot up. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

You shake your head. “Not… not me…”

“Then who…” as his voice trails off, so do his eyes, until they land on your stomach. “Fuck. Wait. No.” He looks up at you. “No. Baby. What?”

You bite your lip and nod. “Yes.”

“Shit. I…” he places a hand on your stomach. “I— I could’ve hurt you,” he whispers, staring down at your tummy.

“Baby, look at me. Please?” He does and you cup his face in your hands. “It’s okay. I’m okay. It’s alright.”

He bites his lip. “Are… are you sure?”

You nod.

“How long?”

“Four… four months,” you whisper.

He blinks. Five times. “What?”

You nod. “I had an appointment with Minnie and he said everything looks fine. He said that I just have a late developing baby bump. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I just didn’t want us to get our hopes up… But Min said that since it’s been so long and I’m already more than halfway there…”

Chan’s eyes light up. “There’s a chance?”

“A very high one. You aren’t mad?”

“Mad?”

“That I didn’t tell you sooner.”

He shakes his head. “Baby. No. I’m not mad love. I understand your hesitation to tell me. Truly.”

You blink. “Why are you so calm right now?” You bury your face in his arm, which is still planted next to your head. “I feel like I’m freaking out and I want to cry and… God I don’t even know.”

He presses a kiss to your hair. “Because I know freaking out won’t help you and staying calm is the best way to process this.”

You sigh. “Why are you so perfect?”

“Just part of the charm. Besides, I have two princesses to take care of; I can’t let myself be anything less than that.”

You turn to face him. “Two?” You ask, raising your eyebrow.

He smiled sheepishly. “I feel like it’s gonna be a girl.”

You hmmm in thought. “What if it’s a boy?”

“Then I’ll still be nothing less than perfect. I’m just saying I think it’ll be a girl.”

“I think you just want to be a girl dad,” you tease lovingly.

He blushes slightly. “Maybe.” He leans forward and nuzzles your neck. “I think id be a great girl dad.”

You kiss the side of his head. “I think you’d be a great anything dad.”

“We got this,” he whispers against your neck. “We always do.”

You wrap your arms around him. “You still want to adopt?”

He chuckles. “Babe, you just told me we’re having a baby, and now you want to add a puppy in the mix?”

You shrug. “Why not? We’re growing our family, right?”

He nods against you.

“So then let’s grow it.”

@linoalwaysknows Tysm again for submitting the request

[blossom-hwa]

memory lane | j.yh

I'm nearly two years late but in my defense I had this written for months already, I was just too lazy to create a graphic for it until now. anyway, this was sparked by the memory lane trip that dr. strange took in multiverse of madness - there are definitely spoilers (check the warnings below) and this story might be confusing if you haven't seen the dr. strange and spiderman movies so keep that in mind!

I made some changes to the plots of both movies, so bear this in mind - y/n instead of mingi (ned's counterpart) is the one with sorcery potential and later joins dr. strange at the sanctum, so y/n is the one who goes universe hopping with america chavez and ends up replaying memories they'd forgotten from when dr. strange erased all memories of spiderman (yunho). this story takes place after they've defeated wanda and returned to the sanctum. this should sum up the biggest changes, hope it helps :)

Pairing: Yunho x gender neutral!reader

Genre: angst (happy ending), Spiderman!au

Warnings: spoilers for the last Dr. Strange and Spiderman movies

Word Count: 5.3k

When you return to the Sanctum, armed with a name and the knowledge of a love you don't remember, you go searching for answers. 

Ateez Masterlist

When the dust has cleared at Mount Wungadore and they’ve all made it back to the Sanctum, it takes Strange a few hours to realize that there’s something wrong with his apprentice. Not just the exhaustion, not just the trauma of universe hopping and fighting the most powerful witch in all of the infinite number of universes in existence—that would be normal. This is something different. Something darker.

Something more broken.

“Dr. Strange,” you say later that night when it’s just the two of you, everyone else gone to bed. Flames crackle in the fireplace, glowing weirdly on your face. “Do you remember what happened with Spiderman?”

He raises an eyebrow. “Spiderman?” He knows you were there, remembers that’s how he became aware of your potential for sorcery, but you’ve never really talked about it.

“Yeah.”

He tells you what he remembers. A spell, rips in the universe, a vigilante who wouldn’t let the aberrations die. The mirror dimension, hanging over the Grand Canyon for way too fucking long, and a second spell to right the wrongs of the first.

You take it all in silence, not a single question asked until the end. “Do you remember what the second spell was?”

He looks at you. You don’t look back.

“No.”

“…Okay.”

He ends up leaving first, exhaustion pulling his eyelids down to the point he can barely keep them open as he climbs up the Sanctum’s stairs. He tells you to rest, and you nod, but he’s still not quite certain you heard.

You probably didn’t. Because in the morning when he wakes, you’re gone, only a text left on his phone to give any clue as to where you went.

Gone to visit a friend. I’ll be back. I’m fine.

Please don’t follow me.

. . . . .

Standing in front of the apartment door, an arm raised to knock, you feel like time has been frozen still.

“Memory Lane. Replay your significant memories, now at a discounted price! We remember, so you don’t forget.”

A boy in the spider-suit, face bloodied, eyes broken. A wavering smile on his lips that couldn’t disguise the tears rolling down his face. Hugging you and Mingi with arms so strong but trembling so much you could—you could almost feel them shaking around your shoulders. Eyes zeroing in on the wound on your head, a short gash that left the scar you could never for your life remember where it came from—

He saw it. And asked about it. And heard your babbled reassurances, instinctively steadying you on your bad leg (how did he know? How did he know if you never knew him?) as you and Mingi tried to speak, before saying the words you don’t remember.

“You’re going to forget who I am.”

You swallow hard, trying to reconcile the smiling boy you’d met during your third fight ever with the broken, bloodied man standing before you in that moment. They had the same suit—nearly. Not quite. But they had the same face. The same eyes.

And though you didn’t have a name then, now you do.

“I love you.”

“I love you, Yunho Jeong.”

You loved a boy whose name you don’t know. And he—

He loved you too.

Nausea rolls in your stomach. Your arm has begun to ache from holding it up for so long, but you can’t bring yourself to knock. What if he refuses to hear you? What if he doesn’t want you to remember, doesn’t want you to ask? What if he just isn’t home? You don’t know if you could find the courage to come back again. You can already feel the adrenaline high of the past few days beginning to fade, that initial burst of anger and courage (or was it foolishness? Right now you can’t quite tell) falling away to reveal your confused and broken core.

Your sight blurs, the four numbers marking Spiderman’s door (Yunho’s door, your brain corrects you, and it’s unsettling how easily the name seems to roll off the tongue of your mind though you know you never knew it until the trip down Memory Lane) swimming in your vision. One zero two four. You remember it from the day you walked him back, one of his arms slung around your shoulders, one leg broken and propped up by a cast of your own magic.

The moment had felt—familiar, you remember. Vaguely. At least in the way his tired laughs left his lips, in the way he joked about the villain who had left him in this state, in the way he thanked you as he lay on his bed, the magic cast fizzling out of sight, his reassurance that he’d be healed by morning. It had felt easy, somehow. Like you’d done this before, or something similar.

At the time, you’d brushed it off as Spiderman’s charisma with everybody. The times you interacted with him, watched him fend off villains and help the elderly cross the sidewalk in just two breaths showed you enough. That infectious laugh, the witty barbs, his charming easiness with every person he encountered, villain or no, weren’t special somethings reserved for you, which you reminded yourself in the moments you thought that might be true.

But maybe it was true. That trip down memory lane told you that you knew him even before you did. Knew Spiderman, knew him deeply, knew him well enough to know his name, Yunho Jeong—

Knew him enough that you could kiss him and tell him you loved him, twice, even without the promise of a response.

“Wait. Wait and tell me when you see me again.”

He’d promised. With a nod, and a smile, and words said before that you know from the memory but still don’t remember. He’d said it, sworn it—

“It’s okay. I’m gonna come and find you and—and I’ll explain everything. I’ll make you remember me.” A deep, rattling breath. “And it’ll be like none of this ever happened.”

Yet he never came to find you. For what reason, you don’t know. But you found him. Over and over, you found him—during fights, on trips to the bodega, several times in the Sanctum. And he never said anything.

The ache of a memory that is yours but isn’t thuds dully in your chest. You need to know if it was real. And it if was…

You need to know why he never returned.

Your knuckles rap the door sharply—once, twice, three times. Something clangs and there’s a loud curse in a voice you properly remember, not just know from your trip down memory lane.

Footsteps sound. Something clicks in the door. You have just one moment to prepare yourself before it swings open—

Yunho Jeong’s face stares at you, confused, kind, smiling. If you hadn’t been watching so carefully, you would’ve missed the millisecond of hope and panic that flashed across his eyes that confirms everything you’ve conjectured so far.

You’re not sure how to feel about it.

“Good morning?” He laughs a little, and he’s so good at acting—so damn good, did he take acting classes before? Not that you would’ve known since you only got that one significant memory before you shoved America Chavez on, but you want to grab his shoulders and shake him hard enough to tug those memories loose and plant them back in your own damn head—

“Yunho Jeong.” You take a step forward. “We have a lot to talk about.”

. . . . .

His eyes are guarded when he lets you in the door, but he lets you sit on the couch before he lets loose with a question, more of a statement, of his own. “You know my name.”

You probe his gaze carefully. For once, it flickers as you stare at him, a shard of that steady, easy confidence he’s always had (was there a time he didn’t have it? Were you there when that was the case?) chipped and dropped into somewhere unknown. He doesn’t flinch away, though, not like you originally expected him to.

Maybe it isn’t just paranoia and caution behind those guarded walls, your mind whispers. Maybe there’s a bit of hope, too.

The thought is too much for you to handle, so for all your original bravado you’re the one who looks away first. “I do.”

Spiderman’s—Yunho’s—voice nearly trembles with how carefully he measures his next word. “How?”

You take a deep breath. How do you even start?

“I recently took a…trip, of sorts, with Dr. Strange.” Not really—it was more so just with America, but Spiderman doesn’t know America and you probably shouldn’t be telling anyone about her until Dr. Strange gives the okay. “Went universe hopping. Mostly unintentionally.” Ignoring Spiderman’s—Yunho, Jesus fucking Christ—sharp intake of breath, you continue. “One of them had a curious feature called Memory Lane. For a price, it would replay your most significant memories.” You swallow. “I got a…free trial, of sorts.”

The silence that follows your statement hangs heavily in the air. Never, not once in the time you’ve known him (at least not the second time you knew him, if the first time even existed) did you think Yunho (it’s still strange how not strangely the name flows through your mind) could have let such a tension weigh the conversation—he’s always been so charismatic, so ready to smile and laugh and joke away any heaviness that came. Hell, even when he had a leg snapped into so many pieces only a cast of glowing golden threads was holding it together, he wore a smile on the way back. But in the face of your words, Yunho’s head has fallen, the strong shoulders tensed to snap, his clasped hands trembling underneath his chin…

He looks up, straight at you. His eyes have fragmented and the shards you see in them frightens you—that’s just not a look that belongs on Yunho’s face. He looks ten, twenty, thirty years older than he is (your age, he’d told you with the perfect amount of surprise and warmth on his face the day you’d told him, the first time you’d had more than a few minutes to get to know each other more), with the tortured memories of someone who’s lived through millennia. And, you realize with a pang, there’s a reason for that. Because if you forgot him, if Mingi forgot him, how many others did?

And if you meant so much to him in that life you don’t remember, how much has he had to keep to himself in order to keep you from knowing?

“What did you see?” he asks quietly, hands clasped so tightly his knuckles have turned white. “If it’s okay to tell me, of course.”

Tears bubble in the corners of your eyes. That gentleness, that consideration, feels so warm. So very warm and familiar.

“I was with you. And Mingi. We were hugging.” You swallow. “You looked…beat up, but you still asked about a wound on my head.”

Yunho’s gaze flutters in the direction you knew it’d go, just to the side of your right eyebrow. Your fingers itch to rise, to touch the scarred flesh that’s still there, but you hold your twitching hands still.

“And then you said we were going to forget who you were.”

He goes still at that, still as a statue. It’s funny—there have been a few times where you mused, internally of course, that Yunho’s face—just Spiderman at the time—could have been sculpted by one of the gods, should they exist. A beaming statue of a hero, waiting for thousands to thank and worship him. But now, as he stares at you with no expression on his face, stone still and truly a human statue if there ever was one…

You promise yourself never to make the statue comparison again, because the warm Yunho, the alive Yunho, is the only one you’d ever want to know.

Swallowing hard, you open your mouth. And close it. Not because you don’t know what to say, because you do—it’s just recounting a memory that isn’t yours, basically a scene from a movie, how hard could it be—but because when you try to speak, you can’t. Your voice is gone.

Yunho’s eyes are shiny. A little too shiny. And there’s a little too much hope in them, now, a hope that makes you want to dig yourself into a hole and have someone cover up the dirt behind you. Because—it’s not right, that hope, it’s not right because you know what Yunho wants isn’t what happened.

He speaks first. “You…remember?”

“I—” You dig your fingernails into your palms so hard it hurts. “I don’t.”

His face falls. Crumbles. And this time, unlike all the other times you didn’t understand before when he’d see you and you’d do something—anything—and his face would do something strange for a second before his easy smile came back up—

He doesn’t try to pull it back together.

“I—saw it.” Your mouth moves on autopilot, trying to patch up a situation you’re not sure you can but anything, anything to bring something back to Yunho’s face. Even the terrible hope was better than this. “I saw it—and—I can’t say I remember it, exactly, because I don’t, but it—it felt like it explained things.”

Yunho looks up. Just barely. But he does.

“You—I’m comfortable with you.” Once it’s out in the open, you realize how stupid it sounds, but you barge forward because who the fuck cares anymore. “And I know—I know a lot of people probably say that, but—even at that first fight, it was like…it was like I knew you a little. Somehow. Even though to my knowledge I had never seen you before.” You wince at how that must sound but Yunho doesn’t, his eyes now fixated more firmly on yours. “A lot of things felt…familiar. Just stuff like your laugh. Smile. The way we could banter and talk and I—just—fuck!” Your own vehemence startles you and you slap your palms to your eyes and to your surprise, you find tears meeting your skin.

Damn it, you really hadn’t intended to cry when you came here.

“Y/N?”

You swallow the lump in your throat, scrub at your eyes with the heels of your palms. “I’m sorry,” you say, and wow your voice sounds so much more ragged than you thought it was. “I’m sorry. I—it all sounds stupid. I don’t know how to explain it. I just know that…sometimes, being around you felt like déjà vu. In some weird way.” The lump in your throat seems bent on returning so you swallow hard again. “The memory that I saw. It made some things, like that, make sense. But other things didn’t.”

“…What didn’t?”

It takes everything left in you to meet Yunho’s gaze. The adrenaline rush of yesterday’s fight has finally faded away fully and you think you might collapse soon, but you force your voice to remain steady even as a stray tear makes it cold way down your cheek.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

. . . . .

For a long moment, Yunho doesn’t speak.

“I…was going to tell you,” he finally says. “I was. When you still had your job at the diner, I was going to go in and…tell you everything. Like I’d promised to. I was—” He laughs a little, broken and fragmented. “I was right outside. I could see you. Mingi was at the counter, too.”

There were many days like those. You’re not sure which one this was. “I didn’t see you.”

“No, you didn’t,” Yunho agrees. “But I saw you. And I saw your scar.”

This time, you can’t stop your hand from touching the warped skin on your forehead.

Yunho’s eyes track the movement. “I had a whole speech written out, you know.” That same broken, fragmented laugh from before. “It was on a piece of paper. I was going to read it to you two. But I saw your scar and…you were laughing. You looked so happy. I couldn’t ruin that.” He smiles a little, but it doesn’t reach his eyes at all. “When you knew I was Spiderman, all it did was cause you pain. And harm.”

You open your mouth to refute, but you can’t. Because you don’t remember anything. Not at all.

“Something happened to just about everyone I cared about who knew my secret.” Yunho’s voice drops. “So I thought it would be better if you didn’t know. It would be better if no one knew. Just the way it was after that day.”

“But—Yunho, I—” Words trip over your tongue and for a moment you still can’t speak, not for lack of thought but for too much. “We—you didn’t give us a choice. How did you know we wouldn’t—”

“You were at the battle.” Yunho’s words cut through your own like a knife and you almost flinch. “A battle I caused because I was an idiot. You don’t remember what happened, do you?”

Slowly, you shake your head.

“I went to Dr. Strange with a request. To wipe everyone’s memory of the fact that Yunho Jeong and Spiderman were one and the same. So many shit things had happened to me—and us—because of Mysterio’s stupid fucking video. College admissions, people taking potshots at us across the street…” He takes a deep, shaky breath. “He almost did. But I kept interrupting with exceptions. People I still wanted to remember me. You. Mingi. Aunt Mei. Happy. And that…that messed the spell up.”

You sit silent, quiet as Yunho tells you about the multiverse, about the other villains who knew him but whom he’d never faced—at least not in this world. He tells you about Aunt Mei, how Osborn had found her, how she’d pressed it into him that all of them needed help, not just to be sent back to their respective universes to die, and how he’d decided she was right.

She had been right, Yunho stresses. But she’d paid for it. With her life.

There, Yunho stops talking for a moment. Puts his hands over his face and breathes deeply once, twice. When he finally looks up, his eyes look redder.

“I’m sorry.” You wince as soon as you say the words, how flat they fall in the silence. But the thing is—you knew Mei. Somewhat. You remember her face, her smile, her burned cookies—you remember her, if not necessarily her nephew. She was a good woman, one of the kindest people you’d ever had the luck to meet. “I…remembered her. Somewhat. Probably not as much as I would have…before, but…”

“Yeah,” is all Yunho says. “Yeah.”

He continues. Two Spidermen, two Yunho Jeongs from separate universes. They looked nothing like him and apparently you summoned them with rings stolen from Dr. Strange himself (so maybe some things are best left not remembered, because if Dr. Strange doesn’t remember this you’re not sure you want him to). Back in their own worlds, they’d faced the villains he’d failed to corral here. They worked together and there was a fight at the Statue of Liberty and you and Mingi were tasked with keeping the unbroken spell safe from Norman Osborn and later, Dr. Strange, too.

You failed.

“Osborn freed the spell,” Yunho says, grief and fury etched in every line of his face. “Broke the casing with one of his stupid little toys. And so all these people—villains, friends, I don’t know—from other universes started coming into ours. Dr. Strange couldn’t contain them.”

You’re starting to feel a little faint. “Oh my god.”

“Yeah,” Yunho breathes. “There was only one way to fix it. Everyone had to forget Yunho Jeong.” His eyes bore into yours.

Forget feeling faint. You think you’re about to be sick. “Everyone.”

“Everyone,” he repeats. A little dark laugh falls from his lips. “No exceptions this time.”

For a long moment, you sit in silence. All of this information—your brain was already exhausted from universe hopping and dealing with a crazy, grief-driven witch, and you got maybe three hours of sleep last night before you found your way here—it’s so much. Almost too much. Maybe you should’ve waited to confront Yunho, should’ve given it a couple of days of thinking before coming here all tongue-tied and stupid—

“But—Yunho. You promised to tell us. You promised to tell me and Mingi.” You can feel your face scrunching up like you’re about to cry again and you don’t need that, don’t need that right now at fucking all. “You could’ve told us—you didn’t have to go through this alone—”

“Yes, I did,” Yunho snaps. “It was my fault. All of this was my fault—”

“No, it fucking wasn’t!” you retort. “It was Mysterio’s fault—hell, it was mine and Mingi’s for not protecting the stupid spell enough—”

“No, it was mine, for trying to change something that couldn’t have been changed!” he yells. “I got the villains into our universe because I couldn’t think of anything beyond our fucking college admissions! I did a fuck up job of keeping the villains in line! I got Mei killed, I got you and Mingi injured, I caused so much trouble for Dr. Strange because I wasn’t thinking—”

“You were a kid!” you yell back. “We all were! Barely fucking eighteen! Not even college students, not even legal adults! And—Yunho! I may not remember anything, but I do fucking know that we never would’ve been coerced or something into helping you. You wouldn’t have done that! If we were helping you in that fight, it was because we agreed to, because we wanted to!”

“It doesn’t matter!” Yunho snaps. “It doesn’t matter that you wanted to! Because in the end, this was a fight that I started and that I should have ended myself! Instead, I got a whole bunch of other people involved and people were injured for it, people—people died for it, Y/N.” His face crumples, and he turns away.

All the fight leaves your body. You reach towards him, slowly take his hands in yours. To your surprise, he doesn’t tug them away.

“I wasn’t going to get you and Mingi killed off because I wanted you back,” Yunho whispers. “My fights were going to be on my terms and only mine. I know you fight now, as Dr. Strange’s apprentice—don’t bring that up with me. Those fights are your choices and on your terms.” Teary eyes look into yours and you can barely fight the urge to brush the wetness away. “It kills me to watch it happen, but that’s your choice. And I can’t interfere with that.” He takes a deep breath. “But I can interfere with the stuff that shouldn’t happen because it’s my fault.”

The anger starts to rise up in you once more. “You didn’t give either of us a choice in deciding that—”

“Right before Aunt Mei died, she told me something.” Yunho’s hands tremble in yours. “She said, ‘With great power, there must also come great responsibility.’”

You swallow hard.

“I don’t think I ever understood until then,” he says quietly. “Sure, I’d always known I had power, and I tried to use it well by being the friendly neighborhood Spiderman, you know. Protecting the little guy while others fight the big battles. But the responsibility…my lack of that is what started this whole thing in the first place.” Yunho swallows. “When I saw you and Mingi in the diner, and I made that choice. That was my responsibility. I wasn’t going to purposefully involve anyone else in my fights, my issues. Not now. Not anymore.”

One of his hands releases itself from yours. It rises toward the puckered scar, brushes it with a gentle touch. His fingertips tremble against your skin. “Do you know how you got this?” he asks, whisper soft.

Slowly, you shake your head.

“One of Osborn’s…gadgets, sliced you.” Yunho takes a deep, shaky breath, and you grip his hand harder. “And because of that, you—you fell. Right off the statue.”

You couldn’t speak right now, not even if you tried.

“You fell.” The words seem to rip themselves from Yunho’s throat and he looks away, his free hand covering his face for one, two awful moments before he turns back to you. “You fell, and I tried to catch you but Osborn knocked me out of the way midair, and it—it was only a miracle that one of the other Spidermen caught you. A miracle,” he repeats, almost as though he still doesn’t believe it.

This time you do reach up to brush the tears from his eyes. The movement feels so remarkably natural that you have to wonder how many times you made the same motion in a time before.

“I saw you with the scar. And suddenly I was there, watching you fall with no way to stop it.” Yunho squeezes his eyes shut. “I couldn’t have that happen again. Not to you. Not to anyone.”

His eyes open, and between the tears, all you can see is the certainty of his choice weighing dark in his pupils.

“Not because of me.”

. . . . .

Silence falls in Yunho’s studio apartment. The sun has risen, slats of pale light filtering through his windows, illuminating his face. In the glow of morning, Yunho’s young face only looks older.

And suddenly you feel guilty. So very guilty. You came to his apartment unannounced with a name in one hand, news you were certain he wouldn’t like in the other, and caused him pain. That was it. You forced him to relive all these memories, made him explain things he perhaps wasn’t ready to speak of, and yelled at him for a choice you’re not sure you would’ve made differently had you been in the same situation.

“I’m sorry,” you croak, throat suddenly choked. You drop his hands and step back, desperately trying to swallow your tears. “I—I shouldn’t have come.” Yunho’s eyebrows furrow, but you refuse to look at him. “It wasn’t my place to demand answers of you and I shouldn’t have yelled—”

“Y/N.”

This time it’s his hands that take yours, large and warm and gentle. You look down at your joined fingers, then up at his face. If you had loved each other as much as your memory would have you believe, this must have been a common occurrence.

No wonder it feels so safe.

“I don’t blame you,” he says, and it’s the steadiness of his gaze that convinces you he speaks true. “You had questions, and no one else you knew had answers.”

“Even so.” You blink a tear away. “Even so, Yunho.”

“No.” He grips your hands more tightly. “Do you know how I felt after I saw you the first time after? When you showed up with Dr. Strange in the middle of fighting the drakon?” You open your mouth to respond, but he cuts you off. “I was terrified, obviously, but watching you…” Yunho looks down at your joined hands and you think he’s going to start crying again, but when he looks back up, there’s a smile on his face despite the faint tears in his eyes. “It was good to see you, Y/N. Just so…good.”

You look down at your hands. Back up at Yunho’s face. 

Eyes so soft with tears, so warm they could melt.

“I was happy to see you,” he says quietly, and for all his words are unbelievable you have to believe them because of the way he says them. “So happy. I mean—I’d made the decision. And I’d come to terms with that I probably would never see you again, or at least never be close with you again. But seeing you then, healthy and happy and just—you—”

A choked noise escapes your throat. Something like a laugh. Something like a sob.

“I thought I’d gotten over it, you know.” Yunho smiles and it’s beautiful and broken and brittle, echoes of joy bittersweet on his lips. “Thought that I’d be able to move on. And I did, in a way, but before I thought that I would forget it all. I thought that I could. But that moment just showed me that I’d really never be able to, and that I would be okay with it. Because seeing you like that—it was good, Y/N.” The smile grows. “Even now, seeing you in front of me like this…”

Oh. Oh, damn.

You’d thought that you were all cried out, but your eyes betray you once more. A headache is starting to build up in the back of your head but you force yourself to focus, to decipher Yunho’s words for what they are. “So—” You swallow. Try to speak. “Do—do you—”

“I still love you,” he says quietly. “Every time I see you, it feels like I’m a little more whole.”

Your face burns. “I—”

“You don’t have to say anything right now.” Yunho smiles, and even on his teary face he looks so handsome, so steady, and if it’s true that you were in love with him before it’s not difficult to understand why. “I know it’s a lot, and that you’ve only just begun to figure some things out. I’m not looking for an answer when I tell you this.” He takes a deep breath. “I just wanted you to know.”

For a moment, the two of you sit in silence. You look at your interlaced fingers, think about how natural it feels to have his hands in yours, to have come to him in this hour of answers and need. Briefly you think of Mingi, and it doesn’t surprise you to think that they could’ve been good friends too.

“I’m not…closed off. To anything.” You swallow hard, looking back up at Yunho. “Yet, at least. I can’t say I—that I love you, not now, but I do believe I loved you once, and I could be there again. Someday.”

Yunho’s eyes fill with tears again, but he doesn’t say anything.

“I just.” Tears of your own start to squeeze down your cheeks, past your lips and chin. “I don’t know if I will ever remember everything,” you finally warn, voice wobbly. “I think it’s more likely that I won’t. But if you’re willing, even then…”

“It’s okay.” Yunho’s smile is warm, and it’s what finally sends the rest of the tears spilling out of your eyes. “This is more than I ever could have hoped for in my life.”

“I want to remember,” you choke. “I want to remember, I want to so badly—”

“I do too,” he says, pulling you into his chest. His warm heartbeat thumps quietly against yours and you take comfort in its steady pace, one, two, one, two. “But even if you don’t, I want you to know that’s okay. And it always will be.”

“…How do you know?”

Yunho’s arms, warm around your body. His hold so gentle yet so firm, so safe and steady as he murmurs reassurances in your ear.

“Because,” he says, pulling away. You look up at him with your sticky, aching eyes, feel all of your trust in him only grow as he smiles.

“Because we can always make more memories of our own.”

If you enjoyed, please don’t forget to reblog and leave a comment to tell me what you thought! Thank you for reading and have a lovely day <3

[zukotheartist]

I'm a day late (bc... reasons) but for International Women's Day, I'd like to remind everyone here about what's happening in the Democratic Republic of Congo🇨🇩!

(I apologise in advance for my poor wording but please don't let that take away from the point and check out the links at the end of the post!)

People (not just women) in the Drc🇨🇩 are being displaced, tortured and killed at immense rates. They are also being enslaved and forced to work in mines under unsafe conditions, for long hours and with little to no pay, to dig out cobalt. The levels of rape there are so high that a lot of people with vaginas have developed a severe condition called Vesico Vaginal Fistula which often also leaves them ostricised from society (it creates a strong smell and makes liquid leak out constantly).

What is happening there is also a genocide, just like in Palestine🇵🇸. And very much like Palestine, it's because of greed. Western powers arm militias/rebel groups (backed by Rwanda) to enslave these people to be able to get cobalt - a mineral necessary for technology - much faster and cheaper.

Here on tumblr we don't talk about it as much, and there's of course a lot of anti-blackness too, but on tiktok and insta - awareness is starting to raise, slowly.

Congolese activists are telling us to NOT call it a "silent genocide" (a common phrasing that some people have been using recently) because this has been going on for decades and they've been talking about it for DECADES and it's not their fault we didn't listen/pay attention.

They are also calling for a TECH BOYCOTT, urging people to use the technological devices they already own for as long as they last and when it breaks, try to use the new one for as long as it lasts as well + try to buy the next ones second-handed or from companies that support congolese people or at least don't abuse them. Lots of people who vape have also decided to stop vaping for the boycott!

You know how Aaron Bushnell and an unamed woman in Atlanta (she's still alive! At a hospital) self-immolated for Palestine🇵🇸?

Well, a man did that for the Drc🇨🇩 too! His name was Cédrick Nianza! And he was only 25 years old, died a week after his brave act.

---

Please do your own research but for now, some places that you can check out are (in no particular order):

1) The Fistula Foundation!

https://fistulafoundation.org/country/democratic-republic-of-congo/

> an organisation that helps people affected with VVF in the Democratic Republic of Congo (and elsewhere too).

2) Friends of the Congo!

https://friendsofthecongo.org/

> a non profit with a lot of information about the genocide going on in the drc, with different sections that explain how to help (donating, sending emails, etc) and has a whole section about women and women's health.

3) Al Jazeera

https://www.aljazeera.com/where/democratic-republic-of-the-congo/

> A newspaper with a lot of information about the Drc🇨🇩 but of course also Palestine🇵🇸 and Sudan🇸🇩! > Sudan is another cause we should all be looking into as well because people there are also being displaced, tortured and killed.

4) a lot of people on Tiktok have made sounds and/or filters that generate money, through the creators' fund, that they are donating to the Drc and have shown proof of doing so! Meaning that literally just by watching their videos, commenting (ideally more than five words, not including emojies and avoiding the word "boost"), resposting, sharing, duetting, etc you are helping donate to the Drc! You can also make PRIVATE videos (you'll be the only one to see them or just your friends if you want) using those filters/sounds and it'll still work!

Here's some of them

https://www.tiktok.com/@pappyorion?_t=8kWuC3EkeUj&_r=1

^ he's on the ground! Showing us the conditions that the congolese people are living under and spreading awareness.

https://www.tiktok.com/@kentrello?_t=8kWtRtmCLeT&_r=1

^ has already donated 5500$ through views and also uses of his song for Dr Congo + by giving yoga lessons! He's also gone to the Drc himself and is helping with providing internet.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeyCajp9/

^ has also made a song (you can find it on Spotify too!) that generates money for the Drc! And has a whole playlist on her account that explains how much money one stream can generate + how many streams she's currently at, etc, showing proof! I understand that a lot of people here don't have TikTok but please check it out on Spotify, if you have it! She also has videos for Sudan🇸🇩!

There are a lot more tho so feel free to dm me or send asks if you want more recs!

---

And now some articles:

1) this one is from ABC news (of course always be critical when reading articles and especially when they come from specific sources), dated March 6th 2024

https://abcnews.go.com/International/us-court-absolves-top-tech-companies-congos-child/story?id=107839639

2) by Sahara Reporters (one of the only articles I was able to find about the young man who self-immolated for the drc), dated January 18th 2012

https://saharareporters.com/2012/01/18/young-congolese-sets-himself-fire-becoming-martyr-congolese-revolution

3) by Business and Human Rights Resource Centre, dated January 13th 2020

https://www.business-humanrights.org/en/latest-news/are-these-tech-companies-complicit-in-human-rights-abuses-of-child-cobalt-miners-in-congo/

4) by Al Jazeera, dated February 7th 2024 (m23 is an armed rebel group backed by Rwanda)

https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2024/2/7/thousands-flee-in-eastern-dr-congo-as-m23-rebels-advance-near-goma

---

When it comes to companies that don't abuse congolese people I've heard of 2 so far, and one of them seems to be congolese owned as well, BUT i haven't made much research into it because my phone is still functioning. So, I'll leave the names here but PLEASE do some research yourself anyway before you buy from them:

Okapius/Okapi Phones - seems to be congolese owned

Shift Phones - seems to be german owned but cobalt-free

---

We cannot achieve women's liberation without liberation for all! Liberation for 🇨🇩🇵🇸🇸🇩 and so many more places!

PLEASE reblog!! Or make your own posts!! Just PLEASE spread awareness!

[little-cereal-draws]

ok i see everyone's "ballister and ambrosius as nimona's parents" stuff but i'm going to raise you this

Ballister and Dr. Blitzmeyer as nimona's parents

I know there's the Gay Dad au sanctifying ambrosis as nimona's dad but he seems to get frustrated with Nimona more frequently than Ballister and I kinda got the sense that adopting her was mostly Bal's choice. Don't get me wrong, ambrosius has moments where he enjoys himself and he loves her, but I don't think he's thrilled abt the idea of her being here forever. He gives "good at babysitting but needs to give the child back at a certain point" vibes and obviously he can't do that when it's his kid

However in the Everything Is Fine au (the one where they all live in the cabin in the woods) Blitzmeyer is Nimona's guardian and they move from the city to the woods together, eventually moving in w Bal and Ambrosius.

Besides this au I don't think Blitzmeyer and Nimona ever interact, but I thought it was very interesting how the one time they do, she's also Nimona's guardian (I believe that's the word ND Stevenson uses, not "parent.") Already in this one picture, they look happier than Ambrosius did lol

I'm sure movie ambrosius would be much more willing to try and get to know nimona but what if the sticking point is with her this time? She can't get over what he did to both her and Bal, he reminds her too much of Gloreth, she's still wary of anyone that was that ingrained in the institute, and a million other things. She knows he's really trying and feels bad about everything but bc of all she's been through, she's not quick to trust people who betrayed her. Especially if she's only had bad interactions with them until this point. She avoids/shuts down his attempts to connect with her and is generally closed off and angry when he's there. It's like a kid hating their new stepparent lol Both Bal and Ambrosius know it's nothing personal, just the defense mechanism that's kept her safe from people like ambrosius for so long, but it still hurts. Eventually, he gives up trying to reach out to her and figures maybe she'll come to him or maybe they just won't be as close as he hoped.

Now, Bal's weird science friend is someone more Nimona's speed lol Blitzmeyer has somehow remained almost completely immune to institute propaganda, doesn't really care abt breaking things (the law included) if it can further her work in some way, and is just kooky enough to appeal to Nimona. She lets nimona help in the lab and doesn't mind the million questions she asks because that's just another opportunity to talk abt her work. They go on some adventures getting stuff for Blitzmeyer's experiments and really bond. Eventually they become pretty close and Nimona frequently goes out of her way to see Blitzmeyer.

One night late in the lab, Bal mentions that Nimona really likes her and Dr Blitzmeyer is like "really? no, not that much." And Bal's like "no, really that much. About as much as she likes me actually." And then with creeping awareness they both slowly look at each other with the realization that they're co-parenting now and actually have been for a while. After the initial freak out, they keep going almost like normal but throw in an outing every other month or so. They'll take Nimona for ice cream or some other casual thing and she's none the wiser that they've figured her out. One night as they were coming home from a movie or smth Nimona says, "I'm so glad we did this, I love spending time with my two favorite people." Nimona keeps walking but they have to stop to silently freak out to each other a bit lol

The only problem is that they frequently get mistaken for a nuclear family on these outings. And it doesn't help that Bal and Blitzmeyer often refer to each other as "my partner." (They open a lab together at the end of the comic and I think they would as well after the movie, so they are literally business partners and lab partners. But I like to hc them in a queer platonic relationship as well, so the word "partner" has a double meaning here. Ambrosius is Bal's romantic partner and Blitzmeyer is his platonic partner. They all talked abt it, it's all good.) Every time this happens though, Bal has to explain that they're just friends and he actually has a husband back at home. Some people go "ok, 'just friends,' sure. wink wink nudge nudge ;)" or "ok... does your husband know...? That you... and her...? ok, ok." It makes Bal angry when this happens but neither him or Blitzmeyer cares enough to actually do anything about it. Nimona just laughs at the stranger's confusion at their unconventional family.

Anyway, they're just two friends who somehow found themselves raising a 1000 year old shapeshifter together lol Ambrosius is disappointed Nimona didn't like him as much as he hoped but now he can just stay home and vibe lol

[bearsinpotatosacks]

I've got to share a star trek idea, call it an idea for AOS 4.

We open on the crew nearing the end of the five year mission. Jaylah’s on the crew, having finished the Academy in record time (Chekov’s still here because this is a fanfic idea not an actual movie).

Uhura goes to Bones after getting dizzy after falling off her chair during a bit of turbulence during a mission. She goes over her symptoms, talking about her feeling sick and exhausted, getting dizzy and weird cravings. He asks her when she last had her period, she says she can’t remember but thinks it's due to stress. It only clicks what he’s on about Spock going through Pon Farr, and how the precautions they used weren't made with a Vulcan (who can't return to Vulcan no less) going through his first Pon Farr in mind. They do some tests and oops, she’s pregnant.

They keep it a secret, she’s going to keep it but she’s not sure how Spock'll take it with his strange relationship with his species now they're endangered and all. To hide the check ups, they start a ballroom/latin dancing club, they're both pretty proficient. Bones even gets to jokingly flirt with Uhura to annoy Spock.

Spock starts to suspect something, he's about to make a logical investigation when they beam down to a planet for a Prime Directive mission and forget everything.

Jim wakes up remembering who he is, in a house he doesn't own, late for a job he doesn't have. Technology is ancient, like something from a noir film. And he can't find his friends anywhere.

He goes about his life and finds out he's an English professor, Chekov is one of his students but he doesn't know him as Captain Kirk, just his pushy but nice professor. When he goes to remind him, he doesn’t know what he’s on about and walks away.

Jim’s car breaks down, he calls a number and Scotty arrives, a mechanic in debt to a local gang who helps him out. It's only in talking to him that he mistakenly wakes Scotty up from his dream and realises who he is. They realise that they've got to wake everyone up to help them get out.

We cut to Bones, who's an ER doc helping another person after they've been beaten up. Whenever someone asks questions, one Hikaru Sulu comes in, slips money in their pocket, and the questions go away. But not Bones. He’s the only person in this damn hospital you can't buy off, but knows this is known, as he's never allowed on these cases, where people come in battered and bruised and they're too scared to say who did it. The closest he's come is with some scottish mechanic, but even he hadn’t said much apart from a debt being owed.

He sighs, signing out, and goes home, another day of not helping as much as he would want, another day of fighting off the growing corruption in this city. Little does he know, that Scottish Mechanic is sitting nearby, watching him leave and following him home with James T Kirk by his side. They’ve found Dr McCoy and now need to wake him up.

They follow him home, see him go inside and get changed into a freshly pressed suit and walk into town, entering a dark club. They follow him and see how he’s treated like the owner, they take his coat, give him a cigar and light it, his drink is already poured by, wait is that Chekov at the bar?

And who is the singer in this bar? Uhura. She crunes a smooth song (i imagine smooth operator by sade) as he sits, smoking in the darkness and watching her every move. When the song's over, she invites him to dance before she sneaks him backstage. Jim thinks of Spock’s suspicions before shaking them off and sending Scotty to try and work on Chekov, succeeding.

Backstage, Bones helps Uhura, who'd pregnant with the owner of the club's baby. One Mister Spock, who owns most of the town, and has everyone in his pocket. Well, almost everyone, she thinks, looking at Dr McCoy as he gives her more iron tablets and tells her to rest.

They talk about how she’s going to get out. There's only so long she can hide this, there's only so much she can throw Spock off the scent with how much Bones questions the people sent into his ER after Spock orders his men to beat them up.

She talks about trying to run but there being nowhere she can go that he won't follow. She wants her career to go further but knows if she stays in the country, she'll be found.

He tells her that he'll keep trying and leaves, just in time too, as Spock walks in, confidence and cold, cool logic oozing off him.

The plot is a little thinner from here. I know we cut to Jaylah, in someone's office, she’s their every woman, their gun for hire, she's the person Spock sends when things get too dark or difficult for his usual men. In this case, he needs her to get Dr McCoy on his side, be that through violence or sex or blackmail, he doesn’t care, he's become a nuisance and needs stifling.

Jim tries to wake Sulu up but gets beaten up, ending up in Bones' care, who he also fails to wake up. Bones sees to Uhura again, but gets distracted when Jaylah talks to him, they get along, he buys into it and ends up going home with him. They start something, she gets him in bed before threatening him, blackmailing him and bringing up his dead wife and daughter, before getting him to swear that he'll leave Uhura alone and get his nose out of Spock’s business.

Jim meets Jaylah outside and, with Scotty’s help, manages to wake her up. They get her on side and get her to play her role and get to Uhura.

When Bones doesn’t show up for the next few days, Uhura knows Spock’s got to him too. Jaylah walks in, Uhura threatens her but Jaylah, under pressure, lies and, after trying to wake her up and failing, offers to help her get out for a price, saying she's gotten tired of it all.

They make a plan, Uhura will meet Jaylah at the docks, Bones will meet them and they'll go together, all three.

Jim realises they’re running out of time, Spock finds out about the plan. Jaylah fights Sulu and manages to wake him up, Jim gsts through to Bones by mentioning how Joanna and Jocelyn are live. But Spock gets to Uhura first, it's only when she tells him she's pregnant that they both wake up and it all stops.

I think there's also some other element to it, maybe if they don't get off the planet in a week or something then they all get trapped there with their fictional memories?

[puppypeter]

PLEASE tell us more about your oc who was Roy's guardian at Sunderland and the domino effect it had on his relationships with older women I am on my KNEES!!!!! 🙏🙏🙏🙏

I am once more circling back to my obsession with the potential of Sunderland!Roy and this headcannon has consumed my every waking thought. I NEED a fic that just chronicles Roy's experience growing up with her and the subsequent visits he pays her as he grows up. GIVE THAT MAN A PSEUDO-MOTHER FIGURE AND DO IT NOOOOOW‼️‼️‼️

Hahahahah I haven't fully thought her trough to be honest. It mostly came from the fact that I relate to Roy a lot and there's a recurring joke with my friends of how I somehow end up surrounded by older women, even my choice of gym class is a bunch of middle aged women and me (i'm 27), it's not even really a mum thing but for some reason you just kind of feel more relaxed around them? Like to me it's because they're so chill and they've been my age so when I stress about something and they "honey" me (in a caring way) it's just nice ahah (also I think brett goldstein said he also does a gym class with a bunch of women so maybe the yoga mums are a thing irl?)

Anyway - Sunderland Roy definitely needs more exploration. I like to think baby roy was a bit of a softie/dork and that being around his host allowed him the safety of being himself but then perhaps he got moved later on and combined with the struggle of not processing his grandad's passing and losing this supportive figure led to a lot of anger and obviously the being so good in an environment very fuelled by masculinity could have been the mix that gave us current roy.

I like to picture her as a much older woman but that doesn't really work unless instead of current-roy reuniting with her it's more of him going back to try and find her post-retirement when reflecting on his career (maybe talked about her with Dr Sharon when asked about if he's ever felt safe) and finding out she had passed years prior and dealing with the grief and feelings around that.

Or if she was younger like in her late 40s/early 50s making her around 80+ today they could still reconnect. Maybe she was a big football fan and he goes looking for her and then brings her to a match or something. I think he would totally take over financially if she needed like her place paid for, but not in a show off way, just to give her peace of mind. Also, love if she had been single when she was a host and later discovered she was a lesbian and married a woman or something. Like something something her, without fully knowing, being a safe space for little queer roy who also maybe wasn't really sure what he was feeling, but he never felt judged etc and I think that's also where he would;ve developed his strong hatred for bullies. She was a badass of sorts (also idk if you care for royjamie at all but i feel like it would be cute if seeing jamie and georgie is what made him think of her again and even more adorable if they were in an established but fairly new-ish relationship and he is invited to spend christmas with them and he brings her alongside ruth and phoebe)

[chubbening]

Things I've Written

idk how vital this is, but in case anyone's curious about the stories I've posted and don't feel like browsing my galleries, here's a quick rundown.

1. Everyone's Feeding You: By far my most popular piece. My first foray into second-person smut. You (assumed femme) have recently noticed people treating you a bit differently lately. Like, weirdly hospitable and giving with their food. And the endless gluttony maaay be having an effect on you. No explicit sex, just feedee vibes. Excerpt: "There were donuts in the breakroom the other day, and of course you took one. But then, back at your desk, your coworker offered you theirs—gave some excuse about having a big breakfast. And you took it, as though your girlfriend hadn’t made you a monstrous omelet that morning. And then, seeing that, your other coworker put half of their donut on your desk and said they were trying to watch their weight. And as you stuffed more jelly pastry into your already-full stomach, you couldn’t shake the thought: they were treating you like the fat girl of the group. Everyone was." 2. Calories and Kink: A long one, posted chapter by chapter. 17 are up so far (as of 5/31), but it will have an ending. Anthro furry stuff. Alexa, local goth lesbian fox, wastes away in her barren hometown. Her friends have moved on to better places. Her last relationship went out like an industrial fire (toxic, avoidable, burned longer than anyone expected). Another lonely night at the bar takes a turn when she bumps into Reggie, a big bad jock of a maned wolf, once the high school bully and Alexa's guilty crush. Both soon realize they've grown past the childish antagonism, but not their secret hots for each other. And Alexa has another hidden desire driving her: she wants to get fat. Is Reggie the dominant feeder she's been longing for? Is that worth looking past Reggie's history? Explicit. Excerpt: "Reggie rolled her eyes. 'Ya know, you gave me shit for acting like I was still in high school. Yet here you are still looking and talking like the same don’t-care won’t-care stoner goth you always were.' 'Like you knew who I was. You barely noticed me.' 'Whatever. Give me your phone number.' Now that she’d calmed down a bit, Alexa stopped to honestly consider her feelings. The night had been a rollercoaster. Would she want to do it again? Did she really want to see how serious Reggie had been back at the pizza shop? What if she did gain weight? Her mom wouldn’t like it, but it wasn’t like she was here. Alexa’s coworkers and friends wouldn’t give her any shit. But still, it was one of those things she’d always regarded as a fantasy. Something to read about online, something to stroke off to. She’d never actually talked to anyone IRL about it. Well, not since Syd. This could either be amazing or another catastrophe." 3. The Food Hoarder: The 3.5 Draconomicon is my favorite D&D sourcebook to date for many reasons. There's a dragon-exclusive prestige class called dragon ascendant. One of the prerequisites to taking the class is to eat one's own hoard. So uhhh yeah the premise writes itself: an ancient dragon who hoards food learns what step one is to becoming a goddess. Nothing explicit, technically feral I guess but I've always considered dragons an interesting case. Excerpt: "She lifted her lithe body and stretched, not unlike a hundred-foot cat. On light feet, she padded about her lair, examining the displays of food. Where to start? She wasn’t particularly hungry, having eaten several cattle just yesterday and lazed about since then. Well, she thought, running through the catalogue in her head. If we’ve already had dinner, why not begin with dessert? Her forked tongue licked her cavernous chops as she leapt up to a broad ledge on the north side of the chamber. Cakes. Pies. Pastries. Iced cream. Tarts. Puddings. Casks of sweet wines. All flavors, from all cultures in the world."

4. The Hunger of Dragons: More dragons! When Astal, local anthro dragon adventurer lady, is invited over for dinner by her old friend Silith, she discovers an appetite she didn't know she had. Silith is already well aware of her special relationship with food, as is her human girlfriend, Elryn. Sapphism ensues, and Astal learns a lot about herself. This one also has me dipping my toe into some light macro. Explicit. Excerpt: "Astal smiled, the nerves and awkwardness disappearing in her old friend’s soft embrace. And Silith was soft. When she stepped back, Astal saw that she had chubbed up quite a bit. Silith had never been as thin as her friend, but now she sported a hefty belly and chest, with thick padding everywhere else. Even her scaly red tail seemed fatter. Her wavy hair framed a round, tenderly smiling face with a blunted snout. 'It’s good to see you too,' Astal replied. 'You seem...healthy.' She caught herself staring at her friend’s middle as she spoke and quickly looked up. 'Doing well for yourself, I mean.'"

5. Kobolds Need Food, Badly: A quick, fun romp wherein 3 runaway kobolds settle an argument through gluttony. One thinks the city is the best place to live, the second heard about a cave of desires, and the third advocates stealing from a witch. They part ways, agreeing that whoever gains the most weight in a year will have found their new home. Nothing explicit. Excerpt: "Riska was taken aback as they strolled the streets of the human city. Until now, they were under the impression the tall ones slept when the sky was dark. But many still bustled to and fro under the light of lamps, some apparently on business, other obviously seeking pleasure. Keeping their purpose in mind—and feeling like their stomach was imploding—Riska followed the latter types and soon found a bustling row of taverns. Their sharp, draconic nose soon picked up a dizzying array of scents. Never had they sensed so much or so many kinds of food in one place before, but this was how they imagined the caravans from their grandfather’s stories."

6. Doubling Up: Tessa the centaur and Lina the werewolf have a new housemate who likes to cook. A lot. And even though she stopped to eat her fill on the way home already, Tessa can't bring herself to turn down a centaur-sized portion of home-cooked food. And oopsie, it awakens something in her...and in Lina. (Feedism, it awakens feedism.) Explicit. Excerpt: "She couldn’t possibly eat more tonight, right? But also…what if she could? She felt she had to try. The first bite solidified her decision. Like the rest of the meal, the cobbler showed RJ to be a brilliant cook. Bite after bite disappeared between Tessa’s lips. She was in a haze, but she kept eating. When the pie was gone, she paused and let a new wave of fullness wash over her. She’d pushed her limits tonight, for sure. But as long as she didn’t make this a habit, she figured there was no harm in the extra indulgence."

[zeldahime]

i just spent a wall of text explaining the reason you're expected to show up "late" to parties. it's on my profile if you want the full thing in detail.

tl;dr a party isn't a scheduled event, and people are getting tripped up by the assumption that it is one. a party is more like a short temporary festival/amusement park. it opens at a certain time, but there's no social expectation that one shows up at that time and stays there until it closes. all evening, people will be dipping in, partying until they've gotten their fill, and leaving whenever they want.

the whole "give the hosts and anyone who helped them an hour or so to enjoy the fruits of their labor" thing is an extra piece of social etiquette, but with the lack of expectation to show up at opening you can see that it doesn't actually conflict with any other rules of etiquette, like some hypothetical "being on time."

Firstly thank you so much this is helpful and you're super nice for sending this

It still doesn't make sense to me. To further the analogy, I expect that if Disneyland has posted that their park opens at 10AM then if I show up at 10AM Disneyland is open, you know? If Disneyland said the park opens at 8AM and then got mad when you showed up at 8AM I'd be distressed and confused. So why is the host giving the wrong time? If they don't want anyone there at 5 then why aren't they saying 5:30? What are they even doing if they've put together a party and there aren't any guests to talk to yet, eating hors d'oerves and playing Candy Crush?

It also doesn't make any sense to me because in my experience parties are dinner with extra steps or a networking event that has alcohol, not anything remotely like festival, but I think that part is possibly just because there are several different kinds of events that are all called parties? I assume from your answer that the parties you're talking about are more like the parties one sees in movies.

—

Wait, reading your post: six to eight hours???????? Peaks at MIDNIGHT? WHAT. I have never in my life been at a party that lasted eight hours that wasn't a middle school sleepover.

The parties I'm thinking of are like: an hour of small talk, an hour or two hours of eating dinner, and then playing video games (if it's friends) or further small talk (if it's work). If it ran until 10 the host would be chasing us out with a broom. If I didn't show up until 7 that would be just as horrifically rude as, if not ruder than, showing up at 4! Dinner would be halfway over! I was thinking of the convention that it's polite to be fifteen minutes late, not "the party doesn't even start until multiple hours after the posted time."

This is, 100%, a "there are multiple kinds of events called parties" situation. I didn't know parties like that were real outside of, like, college fraternity houses.

[stitching-in-time]

Voyager rewatch s3 ep4: The Swarm

I don't know why they named this episode after the B plot, since it was a pretty run of the mill 'we must repel the attack of scary unknown aliens' story that I didn't remember at all, whereas I remembered the part about the Doctor's program degrading very well, and found it much more interesting.

There's a lot going on in this episode, starting with the very first scene. I didn't remember it at all, so it felt very weird when they just have Tom hitting on B'Elanna out of nowhere. What the heck?? Where did that even come from?? They've established a friendship at this point, but there hasn't been a hint at anything romantic between them yet. Why did they have to start it out like this?? Did they really have to make him so obnoxious about it?? Tom's been so good lately, why give him the jerky dudebro schtick again? Ugh it's so frustrating. (On the brightside, he didn't outright insult her, so at least that's progress from season 1!) But anyway he was lucky B'Elanna didn't turn him down even more witheringly than she did.

Then we move on to the Doctor playing opera star on the holodeck, which is cute, but honestly it does feel a little random to have a medical hologram take an interest in opera, and feels like more of a self indulgent thing for the actor than a logical thing for the character. But then we learn that his program is degrading because of all the extra hobby subroutines. Enter hologram version of Dr. Louis Zimmerman, who created the EMH program, played by Bob Picardo in dual roles. It was cool to find out that the EMH was based on his creator, and see the contrasts and similarities between them. Picardo does a fine job with each, creating two distinct characters. Watching the Doctor forget things created some comedic moments, but as he forgets more about the people closest to him, it ratchets up the sense of urgency to the efforts to save his program. And we get to see B'Elanna in the role of basically being the Doctor's doctor whenever something goes wrong with his program, which is actually kind of sweet. She clearly does care, and always tries to be reassuring to him, even when he's being an anxious patient and annoying the hell out of her.

I love that Kes was the one who came up with the way to save the Doctor!!! The ship's under fire, her friend is basically dying, and there's no one available to help him, but her. So she does! I'm so thrilled they let her solve an actual technical problem, too! It's so nice that they highlighted her tenacity and cleverness instead of just her sweetness and intuition.

And then in the final scene, B'Elanna and Kes actually speak to each other! They actually make eye contact and have a short conversation! Holy almost passing the Bechdel test Batman! (Because of course, the one time they're allowed to speak to eachother, they're talking about a man.) Apparently even doing the bare minimum of passing the Bechdel test is still a little too radical for this writers room, but baby steps, I guess?? (But iirc, they never really talked to each other much, and certainly didn't have an episode where they were actually working together. Sigh.)

But anyway, the final scene was nice, and I love that Kes got to be a hero and actually come up with, and execute, the plan to save the Doctor! Hell yeah!!

Tl;dr: Though the titular plot is a throwaway, this ep gave us great material for Kes, and for the Doctor.

[callsign-rogueone]

It’s been way past 30 mins, but sending anyway just because I love you 💕

What’s your favorite thing about writing/what got you into writing?

-fw-gt

and this response is way past due lol oops

what got me into writing was my middle school friend introducing me to the strange new world of Dr. Who fanfiction. that was a very short-lived phase for me, since I wasn't really into the show, but the idea that I could write about other people's characters just... doing stuff was life changing. literally.

I've made so many friends through fic and fandom since then (love u all) and writing in already-developed worlds has really helped me with my composition skills! I'm very very slowly writing a fluffy but also deeply emotional romance novel on the side that we won't talk about (unless you ask, then I'll tell you everything. I'm actually in love with it, but it needs some spaghetti throwing and accuracy checks before it can go much further, hence why it's on the back burner lol)

my favorite thing about writing... I can't pick one, so here's two (you know how indecisive I am.)

I said this above but the community and the friends I've made!! the social aspect is definitely a big part of it for me. being able to talk about all this and play sandbox with y'all (see my last post lol) is so fun and has helped brighten each one of my days for the last six months (I started writing FW in January. that's wild to think about.) I'd been posting on this blog on and off with diff fandoms and random stuff for years, but nothing has stuck like fourth wing, and that's 1000% because of y'all. muah.

it's an outlet for me personally. this all started with Garrick and Angel, which I honestly didn't think would go anywhere. when I posted it, I told myself I would be happy if it got two likes, because I wrote it for myself -- Angel is me, just in a different universe. she's got chronic pain, anxiety, and a lot of the personality traits I have. and while I promise you I will never assign physical traits to the girls in my writing, since they're a reader insert, and I want all of us girls to be included and be able to "be" Angel, or Darling, etc., I'll admit that Angel is implied to be on the thicker side, since she's me, lmao. but I think it's still neutral enough, since gare is a giant, so he's bigger than any of us. love me a big boi. I want to feel small too, okay 🥺

anyway, the idea of having someone like Garrick be there for her through that all is helpful to me. it's a little escape from my current situation, a daydream of sorts, without pretending that I'm healthy or not in pain, but actually acknowledging that and making it part of the story, having Angel have a reason she's in pain all the time -- I say, as I'm laying here, answering asks because I can't sleep because of this mystery illness and the pain it's causing me right now lmao

similarly, and in a combo of both points: hearing from you guys that you feel seen in the girlfriends, or that my work cheers you up, that kind of stuff. seeing that y'all relate to the girls is heartbreaking sometimes, especially the ones that have been through the wringer (honestly, they've all been through the wringer, but you know what I mean -- the more anxious, insecure ones) but also it makes me feel like my thoughts are worth writing down and editing and posting, because people will see they're not alone, and can live that distant, "happy" scenario of a character they love helping them through things they're struggling with in real life.

-------------------------------------------------------

that's all I have for now, partially because my brain is fried, but also because if I keep talking about this I'll cry.

just know that I love and cherish each and every one of you, you're nor alone, and our boys love you all too. and the girls (I've been neglecting them lately. oops.) anyway, muah (goodnight kiss). go get some sleep, because I'm not going to anytime soon.

[nationmckinleyscorset]

Does anyone else keep a list in their phone of everything they've ever watched including content warnings? No? Well, here's mine. It's super helpful cos if my friend's ask what I've been watching lately I just send them this. Enjoy the recommendations.

13 reasons why - blood, sexual assault, suicide (graphic in Clay's nightmares), rumours

47 metres down - blood

Alleluja! The Devil's Carnival - blood, religion

All of us are dead - blood

Anastasia

And then there were none - suicide, murder, blood

Annie

Annie 2014

Back to life - blood, murder, abusive man

Bambi - 😭

Beautiful thing the play - homophobia, abusive man

Beetlejuice - blood, implied suicide

Beetlejuice the musical - blood

Birdbox - suicide, blood

Bo Burnham comedy

Brave

Carrie - religion, abuse, blood

Charlie and the chocolate factory (original & Timmy boy's)

Chicago

Cinderella

Cinderella (live action)

Clue - blood

Corpse bride

Cruella

Dark crystal

Detroit become human (game) - blood, abusive man

Do revenge - drugs, cringe

Drag me to hell - afghhhagagha. Vomiting bugs, blood, religion

Dr Who

Dumbo

Dumbo (Tim Burton)

Easy A

Encanto

Endless night - blood, SA, the paradoxical sleep girl's wrists, suicide. GRAPHIC suicide.

Ella Enchanted

Enchanted

Ever after high

Everybody's talking about Jamie

Everybody's talking about Jamie musical

Fall - blood, falling, getting eaten by birds

Fifty shades of grey

Fifty shades darker - flogging

Fifty shades freed

Frasier

Freaky friday

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

Gavin and Stacey

Ghosts

Girl, interrupted - blood

Great expectations

Greys anatomy - blood

H2O

Heathers

Heathers the musical

Hedda - implied suicide and murder, suicide

Holy grail - blood

Horrible histories - blood, vomit, basically anything disgusting you can think of

Hugo

Hunted

I am mother - blood

Ice age

I'm not ok with this - blood

Into the woods

It follows

Jo Koy comedy

Jumanji

Jumanji welcome to the jungle

Jumanji the next level

Katherine Ryan comedy

K-12 - blood

Keeping Faith - blood, drugs, 2nd season is meh, 3rd season is shit

Knives out - blood, suicide, drugs, vomit

Labyrinth - David Bowie's crotch

Liar liar

Life of Brian - blood, religion, full frontal nudity

Mako mermaids - David's cunt of a brother

Maleficent

Maze runner

Miranda

Miss Peregrin's home for peculiar children

Metamorphosis the play

Moana

Motherland - vomiting child

Moulin Rouge - blood

Mrs Doubtfire

Murder mystery

Nine lives

Oliver!

Orange is the new black - blood, religion

Outlaws - drugs

Oz the great and powerful

Paddington

Paddington 2

Panic

Passengers

Phantom of the opera

Phantom of the paradise - blood, cracked

Pirates of the Caribbean - blood (not much)

Queens of mystery - blue balls from this fucking Raven storyline

Reefer madness - blood, drugs, cannibalism, abusive man

Repo! The genetic opera - blood, dissection

Red Riding hood - blood

Red rose - blood, suicide

Rocky horror 2015

RuPaul's drag race (specifically s12)

Russian Doll - blood, suicide

Sarah Millican comedy

Six

Shock treatment

Shock treatment commentary

Snowpiercer - blood, torture, murder, suicide

Squid game - blood

Squid game challenge - gagging

Tangled

Terminator

The addams family - so. Much. Blood. Lmao

The boy in the striped pajamas

The craft - SA, attempted suicide

The end of the fucking world - blood, SA

The darkest minds

The day after tomorrow - blood, natural disasters

The Devil's Carnival - blood

The golden compass

The greatest showman

The human centipede - blood. DO. NOT. WATCH.

The hunger games

The hunger games ballad of songbirds and snakes - bombs

The hunger games catching fire

The hunger games mockingjay 1

The hunger games mockingjay 2

Thelma & Louise - rape, murder, suicide, blood

The lost boys - blood

The mask

The nightmare before Christmas

The purge TV series - I have no words. SA, blood, cult

The school of good and evil - blood

The sound of music - nazis

The rocky horror picture show - blood

The tourist

TORCHWOOD - slime, cannibalism, paedophilia

Tracy Beaker

Tracy Beaker returns

Traitors

Tuck everlasting

TWD video game - blood

The walking dead - blood

Waitress - whispering, SA

Wednesday - blood

White chicks - blood

[survey--s]

639.

Did you ever used to make cookies, cakes or pie with your grandma? No. One of them was in her eighties by the time I was old enough to cook/bake with her, and the other was a raging alcoholic who didn't even know who I was half the time, ha.

Do you burn incense? No, but I do burn scented candles.

Do you smoke weed? Nope. The smell is awful.

Have you actually been through a devastating natural disaster before? No, thankfully not. England is pretty "safe" in that respect. We do get floods most years but nothing serious thankfully. Occasionally I need a day off work due to road closures but otherwise life carries on as normal for the most part. What fast food place, in your opinion, has the best french fries? McDonald's or KFC.

Do you believe one day aliens might take over Planet Earth? No. I don't think aliens would have any interest in this dumpster fire of a planet, lol.

Do you like soda pop? If so, which is your favorite and least favorite? Yeah - lately it's been Dr Pepper but I do like Pepsi Max and Tango as well, depending on my mood.

Does it bother you when people burp around you or do you do it too? It depends? I mean, if close friends/family do it it's just kind of normal to me, but I wouldn't want to be with someone who burped in a cinema or fancy restaurant or something.

When is the next time you’ll talk to the cousin you’re closest to? I'm not close to any of my cousins.

When was the last time you saw a bird? What kind of bird was this? I have no idea, there are birds everywhere around here. It was probably a pigeon, blackbird or seagull.

How old were you when you had the chicken pox? I was about six.

Ever had a friend named Alex or John? Alex, yes. I've actually never known a John my age before.

When was the last time you painted a picture? Years ago. It's been at least a decade if not more.

What kind of stuff do you like on your hot dogs? I'm not a fan of hot dogs.

Where did you kiss the last person you kissed? In the kitchen.

What’s your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? It depends on my mood, honestly. I have a few favourites.

Has someone seen you naked in the past month? Yeah.

How many concerts have you been to? Maybe 8-10 overall, but not for a long time now.

Do you think it’s right for straight guys to get their tongue pierced? What wouldn't be right about it?

Last thing you drank? Dr Pepper.

Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? I've had my nose pierced for 13 years now.

Would you ever donate blood? I can't donate blood. They've never been able to find a vein.

Have you ever driven without a license? No.

Are you ticklish? Yep, extremely.

What are you listening to? The final Lord of the Rings is playing but I'm really not paying it much attention, it's just background noise really. I might even put something else on.

Describe the main problem with your last relationship? He was a compulsive liar.

What’s on your shower curtain? It's just plain glass door.

What cartoon/anime character can you most relate to? None of them really.

Do you have any pictures of celebs saved to your computer? No.

Do you like turtleneck sweaters/shirts? No. I love the look but they make me itch and sweat so badly, lol.

Do you find hands attractive? Not especially.

Do you think it is silly to give names to vehicles, or other inanimate objects? No.

Do you ever wear a robe? When it's really cold in the winter, yeah.

Is there a hair color/style you really like but don’t think you could pull off? Blonde hair.

Out of all the Disney/Pixar animal “sidekicks”, which one is your favorite? Maximus from Tangled! <--- yes! Or Sven from Frozen.

If your mom was a teacher, would you want to be in her class? Nope.

As a kid, did you love playing on Neopets? I never played Neopets or anything like that, really.

Would you ever get a pet turtle? Why or why not? No, just because I have no idea how to care for them.

What shop/store/brand would you model for, if given the choice? No thanks.

If I search your room will I find birth control? No.

Have you ever witnessed a birth? Only on television.

Have you ever been told you were a good writer? Yes, in school.

Is the last person of the opposite sex you texted single? No, we're married.

Which Scooby-Doo character are you most like (Scooby, Shaggy, Daphne, Fred, Velma, the monster, Scrappy?) I've never watched much Scooby-Doo.

Describe your dream wedding where money is no option. I'm happily married already, I have no real desire to spend loads of money on what is basically just one day.

Do you have a birth mark? Where? Does it look like anything? Yeah, on my chin. It looks like spilled food, lol.

If you were blind for the rest of your life… what would you miss seeing the most? Sunsets, the sea, my family and my animals.

What is the most outrageous thing you’ve done for God? You're asking the wrong person, I've never been interested in religion and I've certainly never believed in any kind of God. What person in the Bible do you most closely identify with? Nobody.

If you were to write a book what would it be about? I have no real desire to write a book.

Who do you admire the most? I don’t really get the concept of admiring people. < Same, I always struggle when faced with this question. Idk…I just don’t care enough about anyone to hold this kind of lasting feeling for them. <--- yep.

Who was your hero when you were a child, and what did you do to be like them? I didn’t have any heroes.

If you could rid the world of one thing, what would it be? Poverty.

The last piece of roadkill you saw, what kind of animal was it? A fox I think, or a squirrel.

Has anyone ever cheated on their boyfriend/girlfriend with you? Yes. I didn't know he was in a relationship at the time, though.

Who/what is the last thing you kicked? The kitten's little furry ball toy thing. List 5 things that have happened in the last 7 days. (They can be anything at all, anything that’s happened involving you, or your family, friends, partner) I saw my mum on Friday and we spent the day together. All the cats went off their food so we had to find a new brand they'd all eat and that wouldn't give them the shits. I finalised my plans for next weekend when we go to Manchester. I rediscovered my love of Dr Pepper. We finally got round to ordering a new bed.

Do you like The Hunger Games? The books were okay but I wasn't really a fan of the films.

Random fact about the person you love/like? He loves fishing.

What would you do if your ex contacted you? Block the number. How many pets do you want? And of what? We have three cats and a dog which is plenty for us. In an ideal world I'd have a horse but there's no way I could afford it or have the time for it right now, to be honest.

Have you ever asked someone out? Yeah.

Is the last person you kissed a virgin? No.

Who makes you the happiest? My family and my animals.

Has someone smacked your butt in the past week? Yeah.

Was your last kiss standing up, sitting down, or laying down? Standing up. What are your views on spontaneous human combustion? It's pretty freaky to think about.

What was the last zoo/aquarium you went to? Uh, just the local one. It's pretty crap, really.

What does the last message in your Facebook inbox concern? Angela, Reena, and I were discussing the alcohol options we can have tonight when we have our sleepover at my place.

Who is your closest friend of the opposite sex? What’s the best thing about him? Probably Hans. He’s funny and has got great advice for everything. 

How did you meet the person you fell hardest for? Online dating.

What was the last alcoholic drink you had? I think it was just white wine.

What did you last take medication for? A headache. What was your favourite thing about the person you fell hardest for? His overall personality.

Are you a strong swimmer? I'm not a bad swimmer but I wouldn't say I was strong. I haven't really swum properly in years, to be honest.

What is your favorite combination of colors? Purple, green, grey and black.

When was the last time you screamed out loud and what were the circumstances? I can't remember.

Can you describe your father in one word? Stubborn.

What’s the first movie you ever recall seeing? Pocahontas or Lion King.

Do you still watch movies intended for children? Of course, all the time.

What was your worst fear as a child? Have you overcame that fear? Bears. And I mean, I'm not exactly going to come across bears in rural England, lol.

What’s your younger sibling’s name? I don't have any siblings.

Have you ever had a churro? Yeah, I love them.

How is/was your chemistry class in high school? I hated chemistry.

What was the first thing you ate today? Peanut butter and banana on toast.

[amanda4love]

A General Mess

It's 12:23am, January 17th of the year twenty-twenty-two.

I wasn't going to blog or even log on tonight, and then I had some sudden realizations that felt blog-worthy.

Writer's Note: this is turning into a longer blogpost than I expected. Oh, and then I added GIFs.

I'm somewhere between two oceans right now, metaphorically.

On one side, there is...so much to explore, so much to write about, and so much that I have already written about.

On another side, there are also many possibilities and much that is unknown or yet to be told. This side...this person...has been perplexing me for a few months.

At first, I thought I sensed something more than a friendship branching off from our steady friendship-tree (ugh, please bear with my late-night, gross metaphors). And then, I re-evaluated and told myself "Nah. Every time they talk about their romantic life they're definitely talking about having interest in someone else. Besides, I have my heart set on...this other person." (Refer to Bottle GIF).

Subsequently, these two trains of thought just fought with each other inside my head and this leads us to present-day. Currently. Tonight. I heard both of these opinions echo within, again. I had spent some time with this person in a group setting, it was nice, I got home, and was ready to call it an early night so I could head to bed. AND THEN it dawned on me: "What if, this entire time, they've been saying things about their love interest and describing ME - but in an incredibly mysterious, inconspicuous, maddeningly puzzling sort of way? What if they've been describing me without trying to be super obvious about it?"

My mind trailed back to when this person drove me home earlier this month (the night of my birthday, actually). It was just them and I in the vehicle. AND THEY WERE SPEAKING THIS LONG-FORM SOLILOQUY ABOUT HOW THEIR HEART WAS ACHING FOR THIS 'ROMANTIC OTHER' TO RECIPROCATE AND FOR THE RELATIONSHIP TO CLARIFY. While I listened to this, I was acknowledging and responding as if I had no idea who this 'romantic other' could be. But partway through it was sounding like the 'romantic other' was me. And then it flipped back to "What the hell?? Am I this person, or is this someone I know, or is this someone I think I know but actually don't?"

"Am I a narcissistic jerk for thinking that they're talking about ME? Do I respond like they're talking about me? Or do I respond from as neutral of a place as possible, since I am their friend and it sounds like they maybe could use some help?"

"Yo, okay fine, if they are referring to me then that would be pretty cool. I also like them a lot, and have definitely thought about them in a romantic-affectionate way. BUT if they are not referring to me, then just let me clear my head! I want to focus on my (*number one*) romantic interest."

TL;DR: Romantic relationship dilemma.

P.S.: The way I see it, my story from here on out goes one of two ways. I have no idea which of those two ways I'm heading. It's very "eulcghhh".

P.P.S.: Earlier this evening, I tried to meditate on acceptance of the unknown - even welcoming the unknown. And yet, here I am now, feeling very "eulcghhh" about the unknown.

P.P.P.S.: T or D?

P.P.P.P.S.: Whyyyyy

[theglitterypages]

Title: Till I Met You Part 4

Read Part 1, 2, and 3 Here

Pairings: Levi x fem! reader

Summary: You were the one who took care of Eren, Armin and Mikasa after they lost their parents. You're a doctor and you've been assigned to be the Scout's doctor after their encounter with the female Titan. You already expected to see your children, which is Eren, Armin and Mikasa but you met the Captain because he's injured what would happen next?

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1000+

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When Levi realized his feelings, he knew he had to make a move. Or else that Steve would make the first move and even if it was just a possibility but Levi already hated it.

But aside from that man whose name is Steve, Levi is bothered of how the brats would react once he starts courting you, as much as he wants to keep his feelings private, he knew he had to ask for the approval of your children.

He's been thinking about this for a week but his head is still empty.

“Levi, are you listening to me?”

Erwin snapped his fingers in Levi's face and the latter blinked, jerking out of his thoughts. He looked up at the commander with a bored look and Erwin sat back down with a sigh, “Alright, there's something wrong with you Levi.” the blond commented and Levi just sighed, Erwin is his best friend, indeed.

“You know that you can say anything to me right?”

“No, you'll tell Mike and Hanji in no time.”

“I don't have to tell them. They already knew about you and Dr. L/N,”

Levi looked at Erwin with a glare, “If someone's outside this room tryin' to listen in they can hear you. Keep your voice down.” he growled lowly and Erwin laughed as he clutched his hand onto his stomach.

“So this is about Dr. L/N...”

“It's not just about her, if I make a move her children from the 104th might feel awkward or whatever.”

The commander smiled and ran a hand through his hair, this is new, Levi is not denying anything at all. Before, the stern captain is always telling them to withdraw the topic whenever they'll tease him about you but now Levi is opening up. Talk about character development.

Levi was also surprised of himself but he needs all the help he could get to figure things out, he doesn't want to make the kids uncomfortable but he knew that once he stepped up his game and confess, things might change. “You do care for those kids too that's why you're afraid that they might treat you differently once they found out that you're in love with their mother.” Erwin spoke Levi's thoughts and the latter just stared at him before nodding his head slowly.

“I wasn't worried before because I feel like the brats are close enough to me but after what I heard last time I don't know anymore.”

“What exactly happened?”

Flashback

“Oh I remember, Steve was inviting us to a dinner if everyone's free.” Mikasa was the first to react to your announcement, she snorted and glanced at Armin and Eren just to see that both also looked unimpressed of what they've heard.

As the one who raised these kids you've read their expressions and you sighed, “I don't know why you guys are like this when it comes to Steve.” Armin looked up at you with a pout before looking away, “He wants to marry you, isn't that obvious? He's been tryin' to be a good father figure but trust us Mom, the three of us knows he only wants you not us.” you are more than aware of your friend's feelings for you but you don't mind it because you don't feel the same and you've told him about it.

“Don't you want me to get married?"

“We do. But what you deserve is a man who's true to himself and to others and if we're lucky enough we want a man who would accept the fact that you have three kids.” Eren said as he made his way to you, wrapping his arms on your waist and hugging you sideways.

“You sacrificed your youth for us Mom and we want nothing but your happiness. You deserve more...” Mikasa said as she looked down.

“Don't worry, as of now my heart only belongs to the three of you.” you hugged the three of them and kissed the top of their heads with a smile on your lips.

But you have no idea that Levi heard all of it as he was on his way to talk to Hanji.

End of Flashback

“So you think she doesn't like you back?”

“I heard it from her own mouth. Do I have to retell that story again?” Levi snickered.

Erwin sighed and pat Levi's shoulder, “Do you think that a woman like Dr. L/N will make efforts to cook for you, make tea for you without any feelings involved?” Erwin is not blind not to see the mutual feelings between you and Levi and he's been tired of watching the two of you hide each other's feelings by making everything look like it is a casual friendship when the truth is it is more than that.

Levi saw hope after he heard that but the thing that's bothering him is what if the brats from the 104th won't see him worthy for you?

“If you're worried about the kids, they like you as much as you like them so stop sulking. Man up and confess, this is not the Levi that I know.”

“You suck in giving advice.” Levi snorted and stood up before leaving the room and Erwin was left laughing to himself, knowing that he might witness another chapter in Levi's life that is different from his cruel past.

Levi purposely stayed late that night as he knew that you're also working late tonight thanks to Hanji's help.

When he made his way to the kitchen and saw you making yourself a cup of tea, he smiled to himself despite of his fears of you not accepting his feelings.

“I hope you won't mind me intruding.”

“I won't, would you like a cup of tea? This might help you sleep.”

Levi smiled and nodded before sitting at the chair nearest to you. ”Here you go, Captain.” you handed him the cup of tea and sat across from him, silence filled the whole room after that and you don't know why there's an awkward ambience between the two of you tonight.

“Captain..”

“Y/N...”

The two of you laughed at each other and just like that the strange awkwardness between you two have disappeared.

“There is a reason for my lack of sleep these days...” Levi began and you became so curios because he sounded so serious.

“Is anything bothering you? Maybe I could help.”

“I don't think you could help me in this one, Doctor.”

“W-Well forgive me for thinking so full of myself but maybe if you tell me it might lessen your burden don't you think?”

Levi gulped every single drop of his tea before placing it down as he fixed his gaze on you.

“Tell me what would you do to help me if you're the reason of my restlessness?”

To be continued...

Previous ------ Next

[gisellelx]

Consider this ask a general prompt for any nerding you would like to do for us re: linguistic thoughts about various Cullens. Also: any particular headcanons of how they've influenced each other's speech in general? (I was going to say re: Edward emulating Carlisle but that might not be the most interesting example)

Okay commence much belated nerding out. Relevant post.

Under a cut because sorry, I went to town here. tl;dr--the Cullens sound different to each other, and their backgrounds and relationships have affected the way they sound over time. But they all can sound exactly how they need to any time they need to.

Here are two useful things we know about why people do or do not change the way they talk.

Communities of practice: this is a concept which comes from education but which has gotten adopted in several adjacent fields, including sociology and linguistics. Basically, the idea is, the way you talk will reflect the kinds of relationships you want to have with people around you, and how you want to draw lines separating your group from other groups. My easiest-to-understand example of this is that my friends from college athletic bands had some terms and inside practices which arose because of our shared experience of playing in those bands. We were in band twenty years ago, but if you're having drinks with a few other bandos and leave the bar, someone will go "ohhhhh see ya!" like the cheer we yell when someone gets put in the penalty box at a hockey game.

Convergence and accommodation: Speakers often try to sound like people they want to connect with in more than just practices and inside jokes. The more you want to connect with someone (combined with your personality), the more likely you are to adopt their style of speaking. This is in the short term, which is accommodation (you start to speak more slowly because the person you're speaking with speaks more slowly) or dialect convergence (over time your whole way of sounding starts to shift toward other people's.) Some evidence that extroverts do this faster, but it also depends on how desirable the connection is.

Convergence is probably more influential for the Cullens than CoP, although I imagine there are some CoP kinds of things that happen to vampires more broadly and the Cullens specifically. In particular, I suspect (and write) that the Cullens have lots of euphemisms for things: they talk about "mistakes" to avoid talking about murder, about "Royce" and "Charles" to avoid uttering the word rape, Edward's rebellion is called The Time or Edward's Sojourn (that's Carlisle).

The bigger question is, how would they sound and how would they naturally converge (or not!) based on their personalities and relationship.

So. You have the Cullens. Kind of a rough-and-tumble rundown of their varieties:

Carlisle: I headcanon Boston Brahmin . In the 1700s, the London accent was /r/-full, so Carlisle would've arrived to the US sounding more like a current-day American speaker than we associate now with British English (received pronunciation usually being the exported one). He would've hobknobbed with the educated elite on the eastern seaboard and picked up what they sounded like at the time. He loves being American--this is where he found his purpose and his family. So shifting toward that accent makes sense for him.

Esme: Lower middle class US midlands. The central Ohio accent is often perceived to be extremely neutral. It's not--there are some truly funky features--but people think it is, so there's not much reason to move away from it. She might have tried her hand at a transatlantic accent, but she slides back into her middle Ohioan often, because it's easy and it's not usually considered "bad" anywhere. She makes fun of the way Carlisle says rather. He teases her about how bag and egg are the same sound for her.

Edward: Northern Cities Shifted Chicago. If you've ever heard a Chicagoan pronounce the word Chicago, well, there you go. I realize this probably fucks with the gentle, sexy attempt-at-American accent delivered by Robert Pattinson. Edward was born too late to have transatlantic imposed on him, and so his accent was probably left to be.

Rosalie: Another reason they hate each other--they sound alike. Rosalie is on the other side of the Great Lakes, was born not that much later, and Rochester is another major source of Northern Cities Shift. So she and Edward sound...pretty much the same. They're both upper middle class/upper class and are picking up the prestige version of the NCVS.

Emmett: Appalachian. Pretty much enough said. The post I linked at the outset lays out a few things from Appalachian speech.

Jasper: East Texan. Texas is not general southern--there are a handful of features which make it notably different than say, Louisiana.

Alice: Upper class Mississippian. Now, this is somewhat indistinguishable to a northern American or non-American ear--maaaaybe you notice sort of "high class southern" but it's subtle. She's got a bunch of features of southern English, though, but the more prestigious versions of them. Not quite To Kill a Mockingbird--that's Alabama-- but that's not a bad place to start to hear it.

So that's where they're starting. Where do they end up?

Carlisle: sticks with Brahmin. The moment he arrived in the US means a lot to him, and so he defaults back to that first major change, when he adopted an American identity.

Edward: Probably goes without saying, but he sounds exactly like Carlisle. He shifted his default as soon as he was able, and his intense adoration of Carlisle means he converged on Carlisle's variety. He also picks up Carlisle's idiolect--particular phrases and verbal tics--again, because he wants to be like Carlisle in any way he can. "Oh my God will you quit; you're not Carlisle" is a phrase that gets uttered in annoyance often.

Esme: Keeps her central Ohio accent. She loves Carlisle more than anything, but there's nothing particularly stigmatized about her variety. So she keeps it. She's happy to be her own person.

Rosalie: Does not wish to be a part of this family and regrets her change. She certainly does not converge toward Carlisle's style, but the pressure of sounding anything like Edward, even if his dialect has shifted, is also grating. She brings her NCVS a little more toward Esme's Ohio variety over time.

Emmett: This man killed a bear* with his bare hands in the Smoky Mountains. He's real proud of being a mountain man and he sounds like one. He also has a healthy disdain for the upper-crustness of Carlisle and Rosalie and Edward and is determined to bring them back down to earth. Over time the most obvious parts of his dialect do fade--he doesn't use "a huntin'" very often, for instance. But he can shift into full on Appalachian on a dime and often does. It's fun for him.

Jasper: Stays East Texas. He's very proud of his cowboy identity, and is the least connected to the Cullen family as a community of practice. He can sound like whatever his paperwork says he does, but in default, he's still got the same Houston variety he's had for two centuries. I don't love darlin' darlin' Jasper in fic but I chalk that more up to writers learning how to have a light hand with dialect rather than it being something he fundamentally wouldn't say--he absolutely does say it. Also says bless your heart.

Alice: Biloxi is not that far from Houston, and she and Jasper, who are wound around each other, pick up each other's verbal mannerisms and reinforce subtle aspects of each other's gulf of Mexico accents. She both mellows Jasper's Texas English while also moving her own English toward his.

So in "default" mode, the Cullens sound a little different to each other. But there's no way a Twipire would somehow be unable to move perfectly and seamlessly between multiple English accents as they needed to. There's no reason to think that any of them showed up at Forks High School sounding like anything but exactly what their paperwork said their dialectal background ought to be.

*by the way this would've been a black bear, not a grizzly. I'm sure he loves grizzlies, but he wasn't fighting a grizzly in the Smokies. He probably got tangled up with a really mad mama bear. This is a pet peeve of mine, I admit.