#i was struggling so much with that website
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A look at Stolas' 'happy pills' withdrawal symptoms in Sinsmas.
So, I've been looking at withdrawal effects of antidepressants following Sinsmas, more specifically, SSRIs. More specifically, I found this section:
Symptoms that may feel like your original problem:
anxiety
crying spells
depersonalisation (feeling detached from your surroundings)
depression
disturbed sleep
fatigue (feeling very weary)
mania
mood swings
poor concentration and memory
suicidal thoughts.
Source for this can be found here:
Anxiety: Pretty clear to me that Stolas has always had at least some undercurrent of anxiety flowing within him throughout the episode, starting from his first attempt to call Octavia at the start of the episode. Plus it's also pretty clear during this scene that Stolas is definitely feeling quite a lot of anxiety, I would include the Moxxie and Millie fighting moments but you could explain that one away with Stolas not exactly being accustomed to Sinsmas traditions, even if his anxiety is heightened due to withdrawal symptoms.
Crying Spells: 100%, we see Stolas break into two crying spells upon the realization that he is now poor, and another when the client sinner is recapping the story that led up to this point that hit almost exactly to home for Stolas.
Depersonalisation: Yep, Stolas may have taken another dose of his happy pills by this point, although we weren't shown that on screen, but following the conflict with Octavia, in these two scenes you can just see how detached from the world Stolas is at those moments.
Depression: It's been made pretty obvious that Stolas has depression, so I'm counting this one as a yes.
Disturbed Sleep: Don't think this one applies to Stolas.
Fatigue: Considering that a definition of the term 'weary' is 'very tired or lacking energy and enthusiasm', while this doesn't apply to Stolas all that much during the episode, there's definitely some spells of it throughout the episode, like this one for example.
Mania: Looking at the same website here, there's a few things under the 'how you might feel and behave' sections for mania that I do believe applies to Stolas here, which is pretty much all contained within two scenes.
'Irritable and agitated': We have this entire scene where Stolas loses his shit over a spam call, mainly because he thought it was Octavia calling him back but still.
'Very confident or adventurous': Would say adventurous applies to Stolas here, as most definitions of the word adventurous involve risk and/or danger, and well, in the line before this, Stolas very clearly identifies the potential risks he might be putting himself into by attempting to see Octavia, but goes ahead and does it anyways.
'Like you can perform physical and mental tasks better than normal': Probably applies here due to the absolute beatdown Stolas did on Andrealphus during this scene.
'Talking a lot, speaking very quickly, or not making sense to other people': Yep, see this scene again where Stolas proceeds to talk extremely quickly, which 100% does not make any sense to the other sinner within the room. This entire scene also probably counts for the point 'Saying or doing things that are inappropriate and out of character', plus 'Losing social inhibitions'.
'Being rude or aggressive': yet again, see the scene I just mentioned, and the whole 'you could shut the fuck up' line. (Although she did deserve being told that ngl.)
'Taking serious risks with your safety': I cover this in the 'Very confident or adventurous' section just a few paragraphs above.
With all of this being what I think applies to Stolas during this scene in regards to mania.
Mood Swings: You see Stolas have quite a few mood swings throughout the episode, some of which I have already quite clearly shown throughout this post, 100% applies to Stolas.
Poor concentration and memory: Potentially, although I'm struggling to think of any specific examples and I'm not entirely sure if this scene would fall under this category.
Finally, we have Suicidal Thoughts: Pretty heavy subject but I've said this before and I'll say it again, I'm pretty confident in saying that Stolas has quite high levels of suicidal ideation and/or is passively suicidal.
I love badass Stolas like the rest of you all do, but there's just something about Stolas facing death with absolutely zero fear that just screams to me that Stolas is passively suicidal, especially if we consider what Stolas did during Mastermind as well, however, I cannot fully confirm this at this time.
So while I cannot confirm that Stolas has suicidal thoughts going through him, I suspect that he might have because of my belief that Stolas has high levels of suicidal ideation and/or is passively suicidal.
I gotta give this show credit for depicting mental health realistically, because they really knocked it out of the park with Stolas' withdrawal symptoms as well.
#helluva boss#blitzø#blitzo#stolas#stolitz#helluva boss stolas#loona helluva boss#moxxie helluva boss#helluva boss millie#helluva boss andrealphus#helluva boss analysis#tw: suicide mention
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I kinda felt disappointed and kinda disheartening in the discussion surrounded taash being non-binary and people just framing their gender identity discussion as just baby first queer meetup it just I've been out for several years as non-binary and I still don't have access to these kind of outlets I don't know but I guess people forget that everyone journey is different.
and also like it does make sense for taash experience to be like that since its literally their first time exploring new gender identities?
Hey anon! I think that's exactly it - this isn't at all limited to people talking about Taash or the Veilguard fandom (or people who played and didn't like it) but on some level Taash actually seems to me to exactly play out the (explicitly canon scenario) of "what if you felt like something was weird or off about how you experience yourself but didn't know what and it had been going on so long that you'd internalized it and thought it was normal for everyone and this also got caught up with your complicated relationship with your mother and you blew up at your coworker for walking around in a kinda low cut shirt on her own personal time and instead of being like WELL FUCK YOU TOO she was like 'interesting. why are you doing this because I don't think I'm the problem.' " Like, I was on a lot of feminist websites aimed at young women in the early 2000s as a teen and so lesbianism and bisexuality were both talked about a lot but no one was like, bringing up Kate Bornstein and Leslie Feinberg and actual THEORY until college. Like, truly, until maybe 15 years ago, when social media with an anonymous angle started blowing up? You had your gender and sexuality discovery through doing and living and talking to other queer people irl or by finding a library or bookstore that had what you needed, if you even knew what you needed beyond "I'm weird and feel wrong." You had to go to a group. You can literally read Alison Bechdel's account of doing this for lesbianism in the 80s. Taash is actually just acting like someone who can't privately learn all of this from a carrd and has to actually talk to people and take notes. And as for the actual term...you know how people always mock historians for being like "these two people were close friends" and they're like OH MY GOD THEY WERE FRIENDS WHO WANTED TO BE BURIED TOGETHER? Well, have you considered Taash is referred to as nonbinary and has the whole pronouns discussion because if you go with more euphemistic language, again, someone will be like "no this is just representative of gender nonconformity" and call Taash a tomboy.
I don't want to derail the above but I do feel a lot of people online, especially who have been on social media from a very young age, just...struggle to comprehend the following three things to a degree I find worrying.
perspectives, opinions, and experiences that are different than yours are good things to experience regularly; you should expand your mind and comfort zone
representation does not mean "people who had the same exact experience with the same exact outcomes as you for the same exact gender/sexuality/race/ethnicity/gender" and is just as much to show people not of those demographics the inner life of characters who are
You do not need to like a character as a person to find them interesting or well-written/acted.
and i feel a lot of weirdness towards Taash coming from people who are nb or queer themselves lands in those categories.
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transfem lottie who gets you a strap on and gifts it to you on christmas eve because she has wanted to ask you if she could bottom for So long but was too shy... she's sitting there rubbing her legs all nervous while you open it and hopes you get the message so she doesn't have to say it out loud 😭
she makes you wait in the next room while she changes into red bra and panties and a santa hat and positions herself for you on the bed 😓😓 it is So worth the wait tho bc.. Wow. you have to stop yourself from pouncing her right that second 😵💫
-🍊
she asks you if you wanna pick out one present to open before tomorrow and has to lead you to the one she very deliberately placed because ur going for the big one 😭 thinking of her looking on websites to find you the perfect one and always getting sidetracked by imagining you fucking her with it and jerking off @__@ it gets to the point where she's so excited for it after she buys it that she gets a lil needy :( her breath hitching when you talk to her, easily blushing and getting random boners....
ur both so shy when you open it 😖😖 she'd wrap it up so neatly with a bow and make it all cutesy but the box has HUGE ANAL DILDO STRAP ON written on it 😭😭😭 def a squirting one too but that's for next time :-3 and she can't even vocally confirm it's for you when you ask because she's so dizzy and horny!!!!
lil blurb down blow hehehehe merry christmas @heliolottie this one's for you
"Don't you wanna put it on me at least?" you ask, licking your lips at the sight of Lottie's already half-chub as she turns back around. Your stomach does somersaults as you think about fucking her with it, imagining her face twisting into pleasure as you hit all the right places. You might have to crawl back to the bedroom because, my God, do your legs feel weak.
"I can stroke myself while I wait." you continue, trying to tempt her. Your mouth upturns into a smirk when her breath hitches, and you quickly fumble with opening the box after she nods silently. She stands awkwardly in front of you as you take it out, subtly palming her cock and struggling not to let out tiny gasps. After you take everything out, including the new harness she bought, you shove it in her shaky hands and start undressing yourself.
Once finished, you stand completely naked in front of her. "Go ahead."
Lottie kneels in front of you and you remember how much you love this sight. Your tummy does those somersaults again as she pats your thigh, and you place a hand on her shoulder to steady yourself as you lift your legs into the harness holes. Her fingertips dance across your skin as she reaches the straps, and you feel warm and giddy. She tightens the side straps way too tight and you teasingly thrust your hips in her face in response. She lets out an embarrassing moan and tries to cover it up by coughing. She can feel her cock grow bigger as she thinks about you shoving your strap in her face like that. And speaking of it, her trembling hands pick up the strapon and safely secure it in the harness, resisting the urge to completely abandon the idea of dressing up for you to sloppy makeout with the tip instead.
You feel like you've been waiting hours as you sit on the couch and experimentally pump your strap into your hands, wondering what's taking Lottie so long to call you back. Okay it's only been, like, 2 minutes, but still. You're horny and impatient. You can already hear your slick squelch against the base of the harness as you stroke the shaft. God, you're just as excited for this as Lottie is. You'd be lying if you said you've never thought about topping her at least once. You're not the biggest top in the relationship but at times you get this overwhelming urge to show her you can ruin her just as she ruins you.
Your ears perk and your tail stands straight up as you hear Lottie finally call you, and you practically speed over to the bedroom, hand hovering over the knob as you suddenly get shy. You smile stupidly to yourself and shake your head, biting your lip as you enter the room. Lottie's lying on the bed, clad in deep red lingerie and a Santa hat, and you could honestly drop dead right now. At least you would die happy.
"Holy shit..." you mumble to yourself. You can see her leaky tip peek out from her lacy panties, and it twitches slightly as you walk closer. "This might be the best Christmas ever."
OKOK thats all i feel like i can write rn without exploding but fawk. crawling up her body and resting on her chest, making her suck you off because you even touch her @__@ she gets so fucking greedy and horny that she ends up deepthroating herself on the strap :( thinking about eating her out before you fuck her too......spitting on her asshole and watching it wink for you... or maybe she's been prepping herself all day just for this and she's just so impatient, begging you to slide in with little foreplay. oh i know her cock would be flopping around so cutely while you bottom out in her GAHHH. telling her you gotta wait until she's adjusted before fucking her and shes already so close to cumming :( fucking her so good she goes crossed-eyed and grips onto you so tightly that you bleed....we're doing it in literally every position until we're BOTH passed out idc.
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these replies perfectly summarize how we got to the issue of devaluing human connection in the first place and how this post is pretty much exacerbating the issue:
“yall are so dumb” - this sentiment writes off an entire population of people who are struggling. literally destroying human connections directly. and i think that in and of itself is dumb
“this is sooooo dystopian” -its pretty obvious how people running to ai therapists fullblown sucks and is dystopian but one must not forget that pointing at an issue isnt actually addressing it, especially when the comparison is rooted in nostalgia.
“these people are pitiful”- another strain of thinking people are so dumb. its patronizing. if you cant find shared humanity— if you cant see within yourself a version that would succumb, you dont understand the problem.
honorable mention: the tools introduced above lend a very fun look into how ineffectual the system is and how these tools dont address at all the reasons why one would speak to an ai therapist in the first place.
worksheets: if i was going through a breakup or panic attack or some shit equivalent you would be absolutely kidding me to think that i would open up a worksheet. im suicidal not a masochist. zero humanity in that response.
chart-games: i find these useful, i even made a modified in-browser personal guide just for myself. but the issue is that most of the times conscious malaise isnt often cured by just eating or drinking just because you forgot. and thats if you remember to go to the website when youre doing badly in the first place. if im in hell im checked the fuck out.
finch: as a daily user of finch, i know directly how helpful this tool can be. it pairs the dopamine rush of games with executive function, like so many other gamified trackers out there. i like the data analysis personally, reflections are so useful to knowing yourself from day to day. but its very much trying to monetize your self care. to gate some of its tools behind a premium subscription because (paraphrase) “you deserve self care” is insidious as hell. and the ways it treats you is patronizing. i know youre dressing up a cartoon bird but i dont think helping the bird discover it likes baby shark is particularly salient to the aging tumblr userbase
ok so ive complained a whole lot. but in order to put money where my mouth is, whats the solution?
well obviously! to foster human connection of course. if these people dont know what real human connection is like its because nobody has BEEN real human connection for them. and vice versa— if you strawman these people into mindless idiots then clearly you dont understand their psyche.
in lieu of an ai therapist, reach out to a gd friend.
if you dont got friends, go make em. its ez. outside is easiest— show up to some kind of local thing or the other. it doesnt have to mesh with you completely but learning about Hetero Jessicas worklife balance is way more illustrative of human reality than chatgpt. but outside is not the only way. go ping someone random. get over the initial fear. fall in love with strangers. learn about their cats and trade cat pictures or some shit. its not easy but its worth it. hell, if you want to dm me i might even reply, if im not busy.
solidarity saved me. it can save you too.
guys. please
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father ts personal project?
i wanted to post a character i made to go along with one of my friends characters, so this is me posting it!
please note he is supposed to be an OVER EXAGGERATION of the tcc and what people think we are like. its not serious/how i see anyone - its all just jokes.
Kenneth Dylan Ainsley
18 years old
he/him
homosexual
୭ 💽 ✧ ˚. ᵎᵎ 📓
dylan was born into jewish, average american family and grew up lower-middle class. he lived(s) in a mediocre neighborhood in a somewhat okay house. its falling apart, but is good for the time being.
his parents fight constantly like the average american couple and theyve subjected dylan and his younger brother, mason.
his life isnt very eventful and he tries his best to keep it that way.
hes close with his grandparents who he calls “bubbe” and “zayde”. they are both retired school teachers and they help him with his extensive school work and school applications. he spends a lot of time at their house in the guest bedroom, but when his parents saw his columbine tattoos he was disowned and kicked out. he went to go live with his grandparents.
he no longer believes in judaism but instead believes in reincarnation and spirituality. he hopes to he reborn as black cat.
୭ 💽 ✧ ˚. ᵎᵎ 📓
dylan is 5’7 and rather chubby, weighing about 155 pounds rather then the average 148 for his height.
he has shaggy, long brown hair that almost looks black and he has plenty of acne and freckles on his face and body.
he wears brown, thin framed glasses and lots of flannel shirts with leather coats and jeans. he wears boots mostly as well and sometimes he will wear band shirts or ones that correlate with bis favorite crime cases.
he has self harm scars all over his body as well all varying in how bad they are. he has some words and symbols carved in as well.
he doesnt seem the type, but he also has tattoos. he has dirk striders shoulder tattoo as well as dylans cross and “wrath” tattooed on his body. he also has erics shotgun and dylans tec-90 tattooed.
he struggles with mental health disorders and asthma #nerd and is on a slue of medications and he always has an inhaler with him.
୭ 💽 ✧ ˚. ᵎᵎ 📓
dylan owns three pets. two rats and one black cat all respectively named “juke” “joint” and “jezebel” after the kmfdm song.
dylan is constantly studying and working on school applications. hed rather be doing that then hanging out with friends or meeting people. he cares too much about his grades and future. his grandparents try to push him to go out but he doesnt.
he is a total nerd and he loves superheroes and all of that kind of stuff. he collects comic books and cds and loves to watch shows like southpark and the simpsons.
he also really likes homestuck and the tcc. his favorite homestuck character is dirk strider and his favorite case is columbine.
he runs a blog website under the name “naturalwrath” and he frequently visits tumblr as well. he fangirls over dylan and his entire blog is facts and information about him as well as talking about how much he wants to date him. he has a delusional attachment to him.
he plays dnd and had a homestuck themed campaign with some of his nerdier friends.
when dylan falls in love, he falls in love HARD. he gets paranoid and obsessive, but he doesnt do anything with it. he typically just gets celebrity crushes and stalks famous people online.
when in relationships he is very distant and unavailable. hes terrible at them, but during sex he will be like a dog at the foot of your bed. he has a thing for worshipping his sexual partners and being treated as a follower.
his entire self esteem and mood depends on his relationships. if he gets broken up with then good luck getting him to even get out of bed.
he doesnt show ANY of this. on the outside he seems like a stuck up, lonely nerd who hates everyone and only wants to be in his books. he comes off incredibly boring and lame basically.
he had dated another boy named sascha who was an active juggalo. he reminded dylan of gamzee as well as the fact he had the same name as kmfdms lead singer so he was instantly hooked on him, but they werent good together.
they broke up eventually and it had made dylan spiral and be more on edge and agitated. he still kept all of his old clothes, pictures, and face paint containers too. it didnt help him feel better - it just kept him stuck in the past.
they broke up over the phone and dylan couldnt stop sobbing while begging sascha to give him a second chance, but he didnt.
he craves romance and sex so much that it would crush him and anyone hes with. hes so overbearing when it actually comes down to it/when hes not being totally distant.
he keeps several journals and notebooks for all of his thoughts and ideas. he then types them all out onto his blogs. sometimes he will print and cut out pictures of dylan and eric to put in his journal and he’ll rant about how cute they were and how much he misses them. its his coping mechanism.
hes into fandom spaces in general and sometimes he likes to do very basic cosplays and draw fanart.
on the note of drawing, he likes to draw his crushes as well. anytime he has a crush or partner thats all he will draw
sometimes his grandparents go out of town (more often then not) so he frequently has the house to himself. when he does he will typically wear his “wrath” tshirt and will blast kmfdm and other bands they enjoyed all while still studying and doing his nerdy things. he definitely wears that shirt to sleep too and holds onto a “natural selection” tshirt while he does.
he doesnt like drugs or alcohol or smoking, but on occasion he will indulge in cigarettes and vodka for the obvious reasons.
hes incredibly autistic if that wasnt clear yet.
he keeps razor blades, bandaids, and money in the back of his phonecase.
his ex boyfriend, sascha, made him earrings of dylans cross and he constantly wears them even though theyve broken up now. its just another thing for him to hold onto.
he works at a local used record/cd store and hes always breaking the rules and saving the cds and cool things that they get in.
he likes to bake and he uses that as his love language, although he doesnt have anyone to give it to so he typically eats what he makes anyway.
overall, his only coping mechanisms are cutting, eating his own baked goods, and blogging about school shooters.
he changed his name to dylan so that he would be more like dylan klebold. its his life mission to be like him.
he has a scent kink and loves the smell of sweat and cigarettes, but he would pretend he thinks its gross.
he pretends like he doesnt care in general, but he gets extremely hurt and upset easily. sometimes it all just spills out and he has a breakdown, but otherwise it seems like he has nothing else going on.
he has his drivers license and drives an old, red van that sort of looks like this. he keeps all of his tcc related things in there (clothes, books, etc) because he doesnt want his grandparents to find it too like his parents.
he uses an old busted up laptop that his littered with stickers and can barely run, but it works for his blogging needs. like this, but way more fucked up
he carries around an old backpack thats dirty and ripped up with plenty of pins and patches on it. kind of like this.
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collab with @sygni via magma! grian by me, rest by her <3
#ange draws#art collab#collab with sima!!!#misguided heroes au#scarian#them#just a quick little thing#i was struggling so much with that website#but it was nice to draw together#scarian cuddles as they watch tv and get eepy
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#my art#rain world#no significant harassment#hunter#i couldn't stop at just one#He is just so#i like him very much i think#thanks to all of YOU on this WEBSITE!!!#even though im still struggling with his design!!! i just felt a deep need to RENDER#the lighting part of the process is the funnest except for when it isn't#i hate backgrounds and i am NOT being brave about it i am actually being very whiny#the loss of my favorite brushes is paining me but i'm working with it
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There's also the repeat references to their father's cruelty towards them. They did not get an upbringing which would foster care for anyone but each other. I'm looking at this from a perspective that makes this personally stand out to me, but while subtle, there is a very significant narrative with the two of prolonged childhood trauma, which has had them in a survival mode their whole lives.
Then their father is no longer there and for the first time, they're not fearing the consequences of breathing wrong. The only thing they've learned through and through is that they have no one else but each other, and combined with their other damage, this has become to the exclusion of everybody else - a trait you do not want to see in an emperor. Put two of them together, and they'll end up in a self-perpetuating cycle of becoming the worst of themselves, because their sole meaningful audience can always only make them worse.
With Caracalla's illness, he is constantly further pushing Geta out of any potential other path that he had. Most of Geta's rule consists of trying to stop his brother from self-destructing through his uncontrollable behaviour and catering to his desires to keep him stable/satisfied. Despite this, throughout the film, he shows some promise: he asks Caracalla first, for example, when deciding the fate of a gladiator. A surprise to no one, Caracalla tells him he'd like to "see some blood", but this is clearly not the answer that Geta wanted to hear, so he asks Lucille also, under the guise of her being their guest. She tells him to show mercy - and he does.
Later, take this with a grain of salt since I've only seen the movie once (fixing this in a couple hours however so if I'm utterly wrong maybe I'll come back to correct myself here), Geta is the one who hesitates on initially commanding Acacius's death, when the crowd shows such preference for him. Surely - he ends up calling for it with his whole chest when disobeyed, but there is a moment there where he thinks, this is not the right choice to make.
But what Geta is above all other things, is a survivor of childhood abuse who made it his purpose to protect his weaker brother. Shoved into a position of ultimate power, he does not change from this. And Caracalla, at this point, simply is not capable of being more to him than someone he desperately needs to retain his sense of safety and stability in a world which is unpredictable and uncaring toward him. The only person he loves, and trusts to truly love him in return, even if the glimpses to that side of him are slipping from their hands by the day.
While in his role as the emperor and his brother's primary and only caretaker, what Geta ends up doing is look for a father figure. Someone who could advice him in the matters of the realm - but who also cares for him, and would provide safety and stability both for himself and Caracalla. They are VERY young men who never had the experience of being protected, or being kindly guided through their responsibilities. They are surrounded by sycophants and enemies. They latch onto and immediately trust the only person in their circle who, they think, shows them genuine care and concern. Who becomes a true friend. The fact that Geta ultimately asks for Macrinus to be the one to go talk to Caracalla, to calm him down, and then for the second time that night asks him for help helping his brother when things are going very wrong? That takes an insane amount of sincere trust from him - Caracalla is his primary responsibility, but with Macrinus around, he begins to trust that maybe he does not have to be alone with that responsibility, and maybe, for the first time, he can allow himself to think of his empire, too.
They are incredibly naive and desperate for protectors and parents. It's easy to see with Caracalla, whose illness makes his behaviour lapse so often to regression and childlike states. But Geta is by no means any better.
This all, of course, followed by the disclaimer that Geta's still a monster in the making who is seen to clearly enjoy and delight in the suffering of others, and will not hesitate to call for the heads of those who do wrong against him. But he shows that he is capable of second-guessing these instincts. The reason he rarely does is that he has no one who cares about him and who could help him choose another path, and as much as he remains the stronger and more coherent brother, Caracalla is the only person who he can allow himself to fully, unconditionally love, and whom he feels connected with. And Caracalla's judgement will always be "I'd like to see some blood".
They could have been better, though. If they didn't grow up raised by fucking wolves.
From the way Geta and Caracalla reacted to Acacius' and Lucilla's betrayal to their fear of the people's wrath against them, you can really tell how young and inexperienced these two really were.
Yes, they had an almost complete disregard of their subjects needs and, yes, they were heading straight to madness but there is also a tragedy to their stories. They were given great power at a young age, Caracalla's mind was all but gone and Geta showed signs of an unhinged character. They had no one to rely on except each other and seemed eager to have someone that they can trust.
But their madness also makes you wonder, how much of it can also be blamed on their position? These two would probably have different demeanors (and most certainly different fates) if they had never become Emperors which makes you realize how power can truly corrupt and destroy people and even display their true characters.
#how typical of rome etc.#gladiator#I'm sorry I just.#As a survivor of childhood adversity and unstable parenting.#this means the fucking world to me#Geta is SO alone#and the choices he keeps making go back to his desperate need to find stability#he's like. he's like 22???? he's a fucking child on a throne#because childhood adversity ACTUALLY MAKES YOU DEVELOP SLOWER.#and you can't afford empathy when you perceive everything else as secondary to your own survival.#THERE'S SO MUCH THERE#LIKE HOW CARACALLA THINKS THE VIOLENCE HE INFLICTED ON GETA AT THE END WAS#LITERALLY GUIDED BY THE GHOST OF THEIR FATHER WHO ABUSED GETA AND WOULD NATURALLY EXPLAIN#WHY CARACALLA'S OWN HAND INFLICTS THAT VIOLENCE EVEN AFTER HIS DEATH?#I'M SOF CUKGKGJBG I G UPSRT#good day and good night I'll go. stare at a wall now until I need to get going for the movie farewell#gladiator meta#what is that. why am I here. what happened to me in a week#also how old are these guys actually#like in their 20s but is there an actual age somewhere. it changes nothing really but#I just realised I don't have an actual clue#rl Caracalla died at 29 so I think that's the gap there#but Geta was extremely long dead at that point which could lower it significantly#EITHER WAY still fucking kids in the sense of what they're going through developmentally#in so many ways#they're playing such catch-up with being people#and Caracalla will never get there#and Geta has no help trying.#... also a mandatory reminder that when I say kids I mean. Grown ass fucking adults with a lot of growing to do#because this website sometimes... uh. struggles with that concept. they're adults. but god they were not mature
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the thing abt mental illness that sucks is. the stuff that people tell you makes it better doesn't actually always make it better in the moment. and it's hard when ur low energy but i think a lot of people get this idea of "it doesn't help so i'm not going to do it" but sometimes you gotta reframe it and see it as like. okay this doesn't make it better but it's also not going to make it worse. like washing your face might not make you feel better but it also won't make it worse. gentle exercise won't necessarily make you feel but it won't make you feel worse. going outside isn't going to fix anything but it also won't make it worse. trying to see them as neutral things rather than a magic cure. and the thing is over time when these things build up and it becomes routine, it DOES make it better. but it takes time and consistency. in the meantime though it won't make it worse.
#obviously easier said than done#aware i am on the Lack Of Critical Thinking website so don't be taking this as ableism i have chronic illness too 😭#but after. 7 years of having depression with ups and downs. it's so frustrating to hear the same advice#where ppl are like just exercise just eat healthy just go outside etc#because those things do not cure depression. BUT. when you're able to do those things regularly it makes a huge difference#it's just not an immediate solution so it doesn't FEEL like it's Making It Better#but having created a routine where i'm doing skincare and going to the gym most days it has improved my mental health SO much#but it took MONTHS of that being a regular routine before it made a difference#and no it is not easy. especially if you struggle with fatigue etc#but when you do enough small things that Don't Make It Worse. eventually it starts to help make it better#and etc
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talked w/ a friend about this and wanted to post something similar yesterday after a convo i saw also
about people criticizing ttcc / ttcc fans for just... being cog fans? being cog centric? usually coming from people who only like the toons.
and everyone likes what they like! it's okay! but saying that people who like the cogs are horrible and support the bad things they do, is just blatantly wrong. i thought we knew that enjoying villainous and morally Bad / grey characters is... okay? it doesn't mean you support what they do. it's interesting to explore these topics.
i've seen many people just... paint anyone who likes the cogs as horrible because they're "apologists of x and y" and... i dunno. rubs me the wrong way! you do have a point and recognize the cogs do bad things, but liking them as characters means nothing about who you are as a person.
and this is not to say that people who are in toontown for the toons are bad. hell! they are right this IS toontown. i may be on the cog liker side but i like the toons! maybe ocs more than the npcs - mostly because i like my friends and the sheer creativity the toons can bring out!!
SO what i wanna say... i dunno. let's not point fingers...? let's have fun in a goofy cartoon game together??? also complaining about people liking VILLAIN ROBOTS on TUMBLR is kind of funny to me. do you realize where you are. but then again a lot of this i see on discord and in-game as well since i avoid things on tumblr... i am a sensitive little fella i avoid misty fight bc of One Really mean "Critic" guy i saw there and i have been shivering in my bootsies since. so you get me
but like yes ttcc is more cog centric but... that's okay? things could be written better and i still wanna speak on it, and i do thing the toons deserve attention and better writing... but the fact it focuses on the cogs isn't... bad? if you don't like how con centric it is you can go play ttr...? god forbid people have fun and explore the villain's side of things...? i'm not saying either toontown server is better or worse than the other... and everyone can like their own things!!
but like... people will just like the cogs and that's okay and it doesn't make you bad. let's all be friends okay? both sides may be going at each other's necks in-game and the cogs in fact do horrible things - but it's what makes them fun, and it gives the toons things to do in the game!! but we don't gotta !!!!!!!! i may be really sarcastic and sometimes mean in private but like that's me just privately sassing, deep down i think people should just... y'know..? enjoy things.
so yea that's the guzma / cathal thought of today. toon people cog people both people are all awesome as fuck and you keep doing what you're doing i love you toontown isn't toontown without you
#anyways omg god forbid ppl are cog kissers on the robot kissing website /silly#but like!! tt/r may not be for everyone and tt/cc may not be for everyone and THATS OK!! ur not gonna like everything!!#like i accepted tt/r isnt for me but its mostly bc they dont show cog health specifically and i struggle with these things but !! i#heard they are updating that so i might be able to play without getting bored / frustrated again ^^ i havent played properly in yeaaaars#i will still prefer clash bc fixation and?? i LIKE ROBOBTS....!#but tewtow is tewtow its all swag. the least toony thing u can do is bully someone for Liking Robobt. be niceys#like ya i admit im not perfect i also dont like people andhave so much one sided beef and i am sensitive to so many things and i complain#in private but at the end of the day its to make myself feel better and i KNOW to not engage and look away and work on feeling better#bc this stuff does Heehoo upset me bc Mental Health Probulem. but i know everyone should and can do their own thing and have fun#i may complain about (redacted ship) all the time and i dont get it at all but...? bro... just have fun... be free. im not here to stop you#im just not gonna interact as i should. good for both of us! joyous world! happy that ur happy!!!!#why complain abt ppl just Enjoying Cogs like that though................................................ do you not like fun#this is not at anyone specific#my friend did show me tags of a post anonymously#and i vague a person whos name i dont know ingame like A YEAR AGO#and a convo what happened in a server a while back. but its not anyone specific i just wanted to like. speak my thoughts#lets be frense... and if not thats okay lets not argue either then we all stay in our lanes
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#i just went to check stats and#I KNOW THIS ISNT MUCH OKAY#but i still went 🥺❤️ at this#first fic of mine that gets this amount of engagement#really glad people enjoyed it#esp bc i was struggling with so many parts#especially +1#old ass man getting emotional bc of a bunch of numbers on a website#leon speaks
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I feel like this website is really missing out on Reacher. Imagine. The most. Autistic man possible but in a real way not a uwu no emotions way. Then give him hilariously large comic book muscles and a passionate hatred of cops and injustice. Set him loose on bad guys (cops). His sidekick is an aroace computer genius that punches anyone who touches her. He loves the blues. He punches so many cops. He's aggressively intelligent and trusts women with his whole pussy. He, and I cannot overemphasize this, punches so many cops.
#reacher tv#reacher#like i cannot over emphasize how much fun the series is or how much he hates cops#it's so refreshing to see an autistic character just be themselves and no one gets on his case about it#and he's not a misanthrope. he genuinely likes people and cares for them he just had a hard time emoting and making eye contact#and lainey is perfect im shocked the aroace website isnt obsessed with an out aroace whos a full ass character and respected#idk i just think everyone here would love reacher#also a huge shoutout to the actor who plays him who is aggressively outspoken about hating cops and trump#and talks openly about his mental health struggles#y'all should be watching reacher
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btw not to be a disabled poor piss baby but the way ppl (SPECIALLY americans) treat struggling to recall things deemed common sense that you learned in school/straight up not knowing them as some personal moral failure is fucking weird lmao.every education system has a problem w failing disabled kids that cant follow along typical learning by just letting them fall behind w zero ways to catch up n my country has an issue w teenagers dropping out to support their families so they dont starve to death so it just rlyyy doesnt sit right w me when ppl claim if you cant remember some random fuck middle school class fact youre an idiot that doesnt remember bc you dont want to.i dont know how to explain to you all if a CHILD is being failed by adults to be taught smth its literally not their fault specially when in nearly all cases its bc of outside factors (i mentioned disability n poverty here but lets not forget stuff like abused kids being unable to focus due to stress or bc they lack a safe environment to study at home, for example)
idk ig my point is not everyone had a great home life w a stable financial situation n zero genetic conditions that let them get head pats from adults for being good at memorizing books, n its weird af to want to be superior than ppl who didnt have those bc its literally not our fault that as CHILDREN we were failed by adults n nowadays only managed (at BEST scenario, remember lots of ppl nowadays still cant even read bc they didnt even get the chance to do elementary) to remember actual essential basics that let us get by n not high school physics trivia.also if all those things r suuuuch big common sense idk why yall want to feel better than us for knowing them, by your own reasoning theyre completely worthless knowledge everyone has, no point in showing off you know smth like that, but ig at the end of the day its all abt feeling special for having success handed to you in a silver plate compared to the losers not born as lucky
#analiceoriginal.txt#sorry this kind of attitude pisses me off so bad at such a deep level#not just bc i failed so much school stuff bc i was being neglected of having disabilities acknowledged#but bc ever since we were little we were always told abt the issue w kids not managing to finish school due to financial issues#i had friends whose parents had to teach themselves how to read to work.i had friends whose parents joined#a special adult class my elementary school hosted so they could at least graduate that#n to see ppl like them? like me? getting shamed bc we didnt get the opportunity to learn worthless fucking trivia?#its filth.i hate being open i genuinely am upset by smth but i have no respect whatsoever for the kind of ppl this post is abt.#n again abused kids!!! how the fuck is it their fault? the system ENABLES ABUSE to the point some kids die bc of it#kids who run away from home too! how the fuck is it their moral failure they cant remember a fucking high school class they might not even#have had?#n this applies to this godamn website bc you ppl shame others who struggle w your deemed intellectual subjects all the fucking time#its embarrassing jesus christ#sorry just.absolutely no fucking respect for ppl who struggled to even make it alive past 18.bc we cant remember your little facts.
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Silly adopt time. These guys are based on some endangered species, and I think it would be super cool if you all went and searched how to help these guys and other endangered species <3 They're all $15 a piece, through paypal only! First come first serve of course <3 Just comment or DM me to claim! Adopt 1 - Guam Kingfisher - these guys are marked as critically endangered, and extinct in the wild. There's less than 200 of them left in the world. They became extinct in the wild because of the invasive brown tree snake! Adopt 2 - Sunda Tiger - also known as the Sumatran tiger. These guys are the smallest subspecies of tigers! They are marked as critically endangered, and there are less than 600 adults left in the wild. The biggest threats to the sunda tiger are habitat loss and poaching. Adopt 3 - Javan Rhino - these guys are marked as critically endangered, with less than 100 of them remaining in the world. The biggest threats to the javan rhinos are habitat loss, poaching and illegal trade, and disease. Adopt 4 - Saola - these guys are marked as critically endangered, with none held in captivity and an estimated 750 exist. Though it has only been documented in the wild four times by scientists since 1992. Their biggest threat is poaching. Ways to help endangered species - Educating yourself is always the first step! Visiting websites such as WWF (world wild life) allow you a glimpse into learning about each species. - Looking up how you can help your local wildlife is an easy step into conservation, as each state has its own diverse wildlife! This can range from native plants, bugs, birds, and more! - Advocating for conservation! An online presence can make the world of a difference for so many different organizations. Finding local ones to support and even ones for the other side of the planet! If you can't donate, spreading awareness helps just as much. Any help these animals can get is a step in the right direction <3
#warrior cats#adoptable#cat adoptables#conservation awareness#i know this is a lot to read and i thank you for your time <3#when im not struggling so much ill make another batch and donate the funds to different organizations for those species <3#how do i do different text formatting this website hates me fr#i was gonna cross post but i will not be doing that
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do you guys think i should make a faire (etsy for wholesale)……. wholesaling was on my goal list for the year but in a “email local businesses” way not a “put my stuff on a marketplace” way, especially since faire takes a 15% commission & has other fees…. i don’t have the kind of inventory to list a ton of stuff on there but i could start with a few things and see how it goes…. i can stop doing it if i decide it’s not worth it… it would be easier than sending a lot of emails or making a wholesale packet….
#if it goes well i can just start ordering more stock from the jump when i get new things#i don’t think i’m going to put any prints on there bc my runs are too small & i struggle doing reprints as is#sorry to people waiting on reprints i will get around to it i promise. but if i list my prints on faire then i feel like ill never have them#for my store. lol#it also might help me get rid of some stuff that doesn’t do so well for me like those stupid pencils..#i’ve been thinking about it the past couple days bc i just had a conversation w my boss about ordering stickers & she was shocked how little#i order. which makes sense for my business rn but she was telling me i should wholesale#so it’s been on my mind. idk maybe i’ll make an account and list a few things today & see if anybody bites#chatpost#i already know how the website works for the most part bc we use it at work#also should i order a new koozie do you think. it’s my usual summer merch although it’s late for that#people don’t buy them much anyway which is a shame bc i like them
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people will really have entire jobs teaching people how to do specific things with their fingers despite knowing nothing about any of the biomechanical variations that might make these tasks much more difficult for those who have them
#i'm just now learning at the age of 28 about the implications of the limited range of motion i have in my first metacarpophalangeal joints#it's literally the reason i easily get hand cramps from writing and playing the piano and why i struggle so much with chopsticks#and not once did any of the people who ever tried teaching me these things say a damn word to suggest they even noticed#at least for the latter i've just found a website with a bunch of alternative chopstick grips i could try using#anyway i think everyone should have a similarly limited range of motion in their first metacarpophalangeal joints#it looks weird and alarming to me when people can bend their thumbs the apparently normal amount
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