#just not feeling great

[fidenciocryptidcreechur]

.

[diiirge]

Being autistic is all fun and games until you're autistic (I was a Weird Kid and then I blinked and now I'm a Weird Adult with deficits and baggage)

[ketchfantrolls]

im in my "googling how to make friends and talk to them without revealing that i am both exhausted and desperate" era

[thechaseofspades]

Longposting about having a post pop off

Recently, I posted a fun little poll (that you can still vote on!) asking people how they pronounce the term "aro". It's been a question that has stuck in my mind for a long time, since I tend to hear people say it differently from how I do. Thus, the poll.

Fast forward a couple days, and that post has more than 450 notes and counting, with more than 1,500 people voting in the poll itself. I'm fairly certain that's the most people I've ever had view anything I've ever done, let alone interact. At the very least, it's the most that I'm aware of.

At first, it was pretty neat to see the numbers go up. It was even more neat to see how each individual person answered the question in the tags or replies. I had intended to comment back on each of them, but by the time I thought to do that it was already way too much to even try.

More under the cut....

...

Still there? Cool.

I'll start by saying that I appreciate everybody's feedback, one way or the other. It does seem that I didn't optimize the poll very well, and could have worded it much more carefully, but I also didn't expect more than like 10 votes from my usual circle anyway.

Anyway, it's been a few days, and the notes just keep coming. The votes also keep on coming. Every time I open the app, I'm met by dozens of notes, many of which saying pretty similar stuff. After all, how many different ways could you pronounce "aro"? Was I expecting much out of left field?

And while that's still something I like about the post -- seeing everyone's viewpoint and how they approach saying a word -- it's really starting to grind on me in a not fun way.

Like I said, I'll see dozens of notes, about half of which being reblogs, every single time I open up the app. It's no longer about seeing how individuals think about stuff. It's just piles of avatars saying the same sort of thing over and over and over.

Which brings me to the least fun part about the whole experience. While most of the reblogs and replies are friendly and innocent, there's enough that come off as passive aggressive and even insulting that it makes me sad. I don't like being sad.

Two of the most common threads are my usage of the "eh" sound to express how I pronounce "arrow", and just general commentary on my accent (y'all have literally never heard me talk before ever). Sometimes it's just general observations, but other times it feels almost accusatory. Like how dare I try to explain what sounds sound like to me. How dare I claim that "aero" and "arrow" sound very similar to me. How dare I grow up with a hybrid midwestern-southern accent that dictates how I hear and say words.

(yes I am probably being dramatic but shhhh)

To be clear, this is probably a small minority of notes among the literal hundreds of people just answering the question they were posed. But like I said, I see these notes in bunches, so even if it's just like 5%, that still means I'm statistically likely to see at least one of them every single time I check on the post.

I don't want to sound like I'm grouchy about a post spreading like I literally asked for it to in the text. It's cool to see the post continue to grow, as more and more people chip into the discussion. But the comments I mentioned, no matter the intention behind them, just make me feel not great about the whole thing.

You know what? Yes. I should have been more careful of my wording, and more considerate of my and other people's accents, and researched on a more effective way to communicate the pronunciation of things, and maybe even just provided examples of what I meant so people knew what I was trying to get across. But it's way, way too late for all of that, isn't it?

(I should know. I went to edit the poll pretty shortly after posting, but for obvious reasons it won't let you do that.)

I want to make it very clear that I am not mad at anybody or blaming anyone for this. Maybe a little disappointed. But not mad. I'm aware that the post has strayed far outside the target audience, and I'll have to deal with the consequences of that. But maybe the next time you see a post from a random bozo like me, maybe think before just tossing out passive aggressive remarks or obnoxiously correcting them. Maybe check to see if they have gotten several of that exact same observation before you make that comment. Maybe, just answer the dang question.

Idk. I've had a tough two weeks completely separate from whatever petty tumblr drama I could possibly conjure up. I'm very tired. But yeah. Don't make popular posts. Or at least be ready for random people to tell you that your accent seems kinda wack.

[sketchy-galaxy]

Feelin really frustrated today :/

[leafkidsblog]

bluh

I've had a tough last few days 'cause my anxiety has been so bad. It really sucks. I've been doing a lot of Picrews, playing Rogue Legacy 2, and browsing Tumblr because it helps keep my brain busy.

this morning is really hard because my teeth keep wanting to tap a pattern and it's starting to hurt my teeth and jaw a lot but it's really really hard to stop. my teeth feel too big in my mouth and I wish I knew where any of my chewy necklaces were.

[actually-ridley]

I have obtained a 'metric fuckton' of barbeque sauce, do you think this tanker truck will be enough for all the transphobes you are going to eat like so many mcchozos fried nuggets?

It's a start.

[postwarlevi]

It's already been a day and it's not even noon 😥.

[muntiacinae]

[frznkingdom]

I'll keep the negative posts to a minimum today since I don't want to annoy people.

But I'm struggling.

[xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx]

Tw: sh mentions below cut

Does anyone else have scissors in their room and just think about how someone should take them away because it’s hard when they’re there…

[bunny-rambles]

ah.

i don’t feel good today.

[authorofemotion]

Hiii, friend!! Remember to take care of yourself today! Drink some water, eat some food, and do some stretches!! Ok love you byeeee!! *disappears in a cloud of smoke*

hii!! i will do that ! you do too!! love you!

[decaynow]

had a breakdown again today yeah i’m upping my med dosage

[manhasetardis]

.

[heyguysitseve]

How do you like...... feel better? Lol