#but im feeling really overwhelmed i think
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BATHROOM
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Pairing: minsu x thanos x nam-gyu
Summary: thanos and nam-gyu use a different kind of method to corrupt their favorite boy
Warnings: minors DNI 18+, handjob, public, thigh slapping (once), dom! Nam-gyu, dom! Thanos, sub! Minsu, slight choking, coaxing, let me know if I missed anything!
a/n: Iâm so obsessed with the idea of the three of them fucking, going crazy over here :(
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The fluorescent lights flickered overhead, casting a sticky glow on the bathroom tiles. Minsuâs breaths came in quick, shallow gasps as he pressed himself against the stallâs metal wall, his fingers trembling against the lock. He needed to hide from them, he was scared shitless, and he was trapped.
Thanos peaked through the tiny crack in the stall, peeking at Minsu, his sheer size making the stall feel even smaller. Namgyu peeked over the stall, his hands barely peeling from his sweater sleeves, but his gaze was an intimidating one as he grinned wickedly at the trembling boy.
âCome on, pet,â Thanos purred, kicking the door open and crouching down, dangerously close to Minsu. âYou donât want us to leave just yet, do you?â
âIâve made my decision,â Minsu stammered, his voice quivering and barely above a whisper. âI-I already voted,â His heart pounded against his ribs. Thanos gave him a knowing look, smelling the fear off of him. Minsu tried to look away, but Nam-gyu made his way down and his fingers caught Minsuâs chin, forcing his gaze upward.
âAnd yet, here you are,â Thanos rumbled, his deep voice vibrating in Minsuâs chest. âHiding.â
âIm not-â
âYou are,â Nam-gyu cut in smoothly, his thumb brushing against the âOâ tag on Namgyuâs jacket, then trailing his finger down Minsuâs lower lip. âAnd we think that means youâre having second thoughts.â
Minsuâs entire body went rigid, heat creeping up his neck. âI-I just need a moment to think, to be alone.â
Thanos let out a low chuckle. âGood. Then letâs think about this.â His ringed fingers traced over Minsuâs âOâ tag.
His massive hand flattened against the stall behind Minsuâs head, his body inching closer until there was barely any space left between them. Minsuâs breath hitched as Nam-gyu leaned in from the other side, trapping him completely.
âYou really donât want to be on our team?â Nam-gyu mumbled affectionately, his lips so close to Minsuâs ear that his breath sent a shudder down his spine. âMiss out on all the fun we could have together?â
Thanos hummed in agreement. âWeâd take such good care of you, Minsu. Protect you, keep you safe. All you had to do was vote O.â
Minsu squeezed his eyes shut, his hands gripping the fabric of his shirt. âI-IâŚâ
Nam-gyuâs fingers trailed down his arm and began to unzip Minsuâs jacket. âShy little thing,â he mused. âYouâre adorable when youâre nervous.â
Minsu let out a shaky breath, looking at Nam-gyu with those soft doe eyes that made the boys want to fuck his brains out right then and there.
He wanted to resist, he should resist. But the way their voices curled around him, the way their bodies caged him in, made his resolve crumble by the second.
âYou know you want to,â Thanos coaxed, his voice softer now, almost gentle.
Nam-gyu finally unzipped Minsuâs jacket, lifting his shirt slightly as Minsu sat himself on the toilet seat. Namgyu pressed teasing kisses to the corner of Minsuâs jaw, making him gasp. âBe good for us, Minsu.â
Minsuâs knees wobbled as he sat on the toilet seat, forced to make eye contact with them both. His entire body felt hot, overwhelmed, as if they had stripped away every last bit of his resistance until all that was left was the dizzying need to submit.
His lips parted, his voice barely above a whisper.
âNext time⌠Iâll choose O.â
Nam-gyuâs smirk widened, his fingers trailing down Minsuâs jaw before wrapped his hand around Minsuâs neck, kissing him deeply. Minsu shut his eyes, frozen in place, shyly kissing back.
Namgyu pulled away, his fingers trailing down Minsuâs stomach. âGood boy,â he murmured, savoring the way Minsu trembled at his words.
Thanos let out a slow, satisfied hum as he began to undo the laces on Minsuâs sweatpants, the touch deceptively gentle. âI knew youâd see reason, little one.â
Minsu lifted his hips eagerly as Thanos tugged down his sweatpants and boxers, revealing a hard, needy cock, and both men groaned at the sight.
Nam-gyu bit Minsuâs neck, making him yelp. âYou were so stubborn,â he teases, his finger tracing over Minsuâs sensitive tip. âSo shy. But we knew youâd come around.â
Minsu let out a pained whimper, his dick standing straight up as the men teased, Thanos stroked Minsu, while Nam-gyu tapped his tip with this fingertips.
Minsu squeezed his eyes shut, his hips bucking pathetically into Thanosâ hand. âI didnât-â
âYou did,â Thanos interrupted, stroking Minsuâs cock more firmly. âAnd youâll stay by our side, well make sure of it.â
The door to the bathroom swings open and the men freeze, hearing footsteps approach the stall next to them. Nam-gyu and Thanos look at eachother, a silent agreement passing between them.
Namgyu stood from his crouched position, and moved behind Minsu, wrapping a hand around his mouth to keep him quiet.
A muffled whine escaped Minsuâs throat, earning a slap to his inner thigh from Thanos, the rings on Thanosâ fingers stinking against his skin. Thanos jerked him off fast, there was a slight, pathetic wet sound. The man eventually left the bathroom, and Minsu let out a choked whimper.
Minsu squirmed as Thanos jerked him off with a firm hand. Nam-gyu chuckled, nibbling on Minsuâs neck. âYou like this donât you? Being surrounded, being ours.â
Minsu could only moan in reply, his hips bucking upwards into Thanoâs hand. âOh fuck,â Minsu gasped, letting out a high pitched whine before cumming.
The boys groaned as they watched the cum shoot up, landing on Minsuâs bare stomach. Minsuâs cheeks were adorably flushed, his body trembling from the intense orgasm.
âIâŚI..â he couldnât finish the sentence, he was too out of breath, and didnât really know what to say.
Thanos chucked, rubbing Minsuâs thighs comfortingly, despite his earlier, rough and determined touches. âYou donât need to say anything, soft one.â He patted Minsuâs thighs in a comforting, soothing way. âYour body speaks for you.â
Nam-gyu begins to kiss Minsuâs flushed cheeks and sweat baked forehead, looking down at him with a profound adoration.
âYou belong to us now, Minsu.â Nam-gyuâs voice was low, assured.
âAnd we take care of whatâs ours.â Thanos takes Minsuâs hands in his, looking him straight in the eye, Minsu searched frantically for deception, but saw none. He saw devotion instead, and it made his stomach flip.
Thanos and Nam-gyu looked at eachother, they had no doubt that when the next vote came, Minsu would be a good boy and choose O, just for them.
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#squid game#squid game fanfic#squid game smut#smut#squid game season 2#squid game x reader#x reader#thanos x nam gyu#thanos x reader#thanos squid game#thanos#nam gyu x reader#nam gyu#min su squid game#park minsu
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digital painting practice with my favorite pkmn
#im really happy with how this turned out....!!!!#idk if ill do this more often but its really good for rendering simple shapes#i dont really render because adding too many details feels overwhelming to my eyes + its time consuming#although i think i like what i did with the airbrushing and small highlights that are subtle enough to help it stand out#my art#myart#pokemon#shinx#painting#illustration#bright colors#eyestrain#i put a luminosity layer over it but just in case
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day 1 med dosage raise
#I DONT THINK ITS SIDE EFFECT#but like ive been at my desk focusing its just a coincidence that its at the same time#that im having negative thoughts that make me really overwhelmed and make me feel like i need#to get up and walk around the room before something bad happens ykwim#so im also laser focused on the bad stuff LOL#a doodley#qlso clarifying i took it this morning when i woke up this isnt. the medication equivalent of the sans roleplay drunk on ketchup post
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one of those nights
#small vent#lately Iâve been questioning things a lot#and this overwhelming feeling of being lonely takes over#and I question myself and my feelings and thoughts on certain things#sometimes i end up thinking im a bad person#the guilt i feel because I donât do ship art gets overwhelming sometimes#and i end up feeling like an asshole because of it#but I genuinely just canât (at least not for the gf fandom)#family and platonic moments are just way too important to me#which might explain a small desire wanting to have that but unable to#maybe itâs the aroaceness in me idk#it just gets really lonely sometimes in your own corner#iâm sorry#I know things like this can be annoying but I needed to vent#some more light-hearted things hopefully soon#delete later
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having one of those mid-20s moments where you're like well damn. im really not a teenager anymore i dont hate myself anymore actually. like its insane
sorry i gotta ramble but this feels too silly to post anywhere else
#kk.txt#not snz#like for a while even the thought of like admitting i didn't hate myself felt like.. like i was being full of myself#idk what clicked in my brain a few years ago but it felt like i started to see myself more and like understand myself as a person#like i would a friend. and i just didn't think like that before i guess lmao#but like idk i dont talk about my personal life much but ive been recovering from post-pandemic agoraphobia#and i just went on my first big trip alone and im like. god its barely there anymore its just a little shadow in the corner of my mind#that only spreads occasionally now instead of overwhelming me#like im still terrible at a lot a lot a lot of social interaction type stuff but im like.. doing better than i thought id be able to#a few years ago. like idk im not good at.. change and especially conceptualizing myself as someone who can change and be fluid#like i really do think a majority of my person like my core morals and demeanor havent changed that much. and i like that#it makes me feel more secure to be that way#but at the same time its like my mental image isn't nearly as self hating as it used to be#like i used to picture myself as coming off basically the same way as that girl from watamote lmao like#ugly greasy awkward offputting weird#but now im like.. im just some guy... like yeah i have less experience putting effort into my appearance and i slouch and i have acne#but i am also capable of looking good occasionally. i dont need to do it all the time#ok i got off the bus and my train of thought died goodbye
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I feel like I made everyone sad n now I feel bad
#It's just bc i felt overwhelmed n stuff#me wanting to be open about how i feel vs me wanting to feel approachable#know that I do want to be your friend! but im also like. really introverted#and I get overwhelmed by social interaction easily#which is a reason i love receiving asks i can put thought into!#i can answer them at my own pace with information I know without any expectation higher than what i think#I love talking and brainstorming about stories!#but sometimes when people send me asks on my blog. I feel like I'm supposed to be some kind of wallflower.#I like that people feel comfortable talking to me but also. sometimes I just feel like you're talking to my audience instead of me#idk how to describe it#I don't necessarily think its bad! it's just something ive noticed
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little PSA:
I have zero obligations to answer any asks sent in. I have zero obligations to draw something for those asks. There are many that I want to draw things for, and there are many that I just might reply to.
I have around 950 asks in my inbox (i had around 850-ish just last week). This is great, this is cool! I love it when people interact and send in asks!
Yet feeling like I need to respond to all of them, or feeling like I need to do art for them is incredibly draining.
This doesnât mean you shouldnât send something in. Please do! I love to read it and I do read every single one!
I am a busy person. I have life, uni, and other work I need to do. So I donât like feeling like I have an obligation to do something that I know, in reality, I donât have an obligation to do. Iâm not mad or anything. I just wanted to give a little heads up, seeing as my inbox is nearing 1000 unanswered asks. (This is, of course, since I made this blog in 2020)
I love you all and I love all the interactions because it does genuinely bring me joy and this blog and the people who interact are a big place of happiness to me through my days. I thank you for your support and interaction. Just know that I am a person with stuff I gotta do. You get it haha
#doctorsiren#not art#siren speaks#phoenix divorce anon (who is no longer an anon to me haha) just know that I will be drawing up your asks someday bc Iâve been meaning to#but seriously yâall I love it when Iâm sent the most random stuff#please donât stop sending things in#I really do thank you#I just get overwhelmed when im made to feel like I have to do something#just be courteous ^^#and I think this should apply to any blogs anyone interacts with#just know that thereâs real people running these blogs and that they have lives and stuff to do !
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but rlly though i cant wait to leave this job. i feel like less than a year ago i was such a sweet & lively person & even if that's not who i am "naturally" it was easy enough to behave that way & it spread positivity to others & made me feel better about myself. now i feel like im just stuck in this rut of exhaustion & cruelty & suffering & it's so much harder to smile and breathe and take in all the loveliness in the world. it's so hard to stop thinking abt all the poverty & hatred & despair that's in my very vicinity no matter where i go.
i do think my job has something to do with that tho like i cant let myself abandon all my optimism just bc im seeing things i hadnt seen before. back when i worked at subway there were plenty of poor immigrants & homeless/jobless ppl & ppl with mental disabilities who came in to get sandwiches & it never made me depressed to interact w them bc they were just,, yknow. getting sandwiches. most of them had things to smile about and people to chat with & at least had food. i def want to find a job where if i am interacting with the public it's to provide something to make them happier rather than taking them in at their most unhappy
#txt#negative#ive never thought of myself as a particularly empathetic person but here i am ig.#i think . tbh. if i were more empathetic i might get overwhelmed & start blaming people for their own misfortune which is unfortunately what#a Lot of ppl do. im v much more like 'turn off my feelings & deal w the situation as it is' & in my experience the ppl who are Actually both#- v empathetic & willing to help everyone they see suffering do exist but r a minority. and i am not one of them.#but yeah anyway i do feel like ive become much more pessimistic & close-minded lately. and i really hate it#i dont like public-facing jobs in general but this one is especially harmful to me
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st. peter clad in leather macdennis x 'gay bar' by rosie tucker
#the half second clip of the car hurdling towards the rest of the gang made me laugh so much sorreyyyyyyyy#also second verse i had no real plans just pick and choose#no real plans at all i just. was plagued. not even struck w specific visions just an overwhelming chant#iasip#macden#macdennis#video edit#god i hav forgotten how to tag . do i care enough. no#im feeling really shitty so !!!!!! good distraction for a couple of hours . take half hour at a time#i do think i prefer writing to music for properly expressing thoughts etc but âŚ. silly little videos r fun
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people who do STEM or administration as a career full time and continue to do art as a hobby, I am scared of you but like in a hot way. youre like if we were allowed to have cold drinks in winter. i look at you and think of miles morales with his two cakes. do you want to make out sometime
#i say all of this positively bc i just! i cant help admiring it!! even if its mundane or not a big deal to you i seriously cant wrap my head#around it.. this is in no way at all meant to be condescending or anything. whenever i look at someones bio and theyre like oh im working#as a lab assistant biologist pharmacist realtor etc im like woag.... thats insane.. and then i peep your art tag and it knocks my socks of#how?? what lives do you lead??? im so curious. i seriously want a peek inside your brains someday. or at least shadow you at work lol#i cant help but feel sad when someone says smth like well i have to support myself and art cant do that for me. or maybe you were#pushed into pursuing a 'safe' career bc i hear it a lot. all of my relatives have the same story working as nurses and OFWs for the family#i think for me its not about missed potential but rather its being sad about making a decision to put your happiness aside to get by#ive tried so hard to do it but it didnt work out. i guess watching you guys do it is fascinating to me#or maybe youve made peace with your decision or actually like what you pursued but im still amazed!! it makes me wonder what made#you pick one over the other in that case.. is it like putting time for two different things the way you would for a schedule?? hmmm#im doing graphic design so i dont really interact with ppl in other faculties even humanities like sociology or childcare... so i cant help#wondering what it must be like as someone whos pursuing visual communication both as an interest and career#i seriously wish i could do smth like a desk job or even admin and maybe ill try that if this doesnt work. or i could look into trades#but dyscalculia already makes it hard to do things like cash and mental math so i get overwhelmed if i think about this too hard#yapping
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wears off in a month or so
#a doodley#talkys#as soon as i saved a single screenshot of silco from twitter it was over for me#it rly is mainly that and the ''gets overwhelmed seeing or thinking abt them and has to physically get that out somehow#or put pressure on the face or cover the eyes in shame etc''#i just added the 3rd bc just the 2 seemed so lonely#today i had to slam pause on that scene where silco lights the cigar in his mouth because i got so (embarrassed?) and hide in my hands#for a bit i rly dont know what this is#i still have my ken folder i have to delete it bc its never going to have that insane intensity again ykwim#like i dont think ill draw him again#so sad that silco is fated to this too...i wish i could actually hold onto stuff like this instead of burning through the Big Feelings#really really quickly#this is why im an oc and Drawings of Myself artist lmaooo i wish i could do fandom/fanart stuff beyond just Here's a Portrait/Bust/#Character Standing There/(god forbid) Selfship#tho tbf thats all i draw of my ocs too...#alas!
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id feel better when feeling exhausted if i ever did any work prior but unfortunately i am exhausted from doing nothing
#im so tireeedd <- thinks about what could've cause me to feel so tired. theres nothing because im a lazy basterd#but im still so tired and i cant get myself to do anything#im just really overwhelmed with the amount of work and especially work outside of my comfort zone that i have to do for various projects#i wish a student of DRAWING could ever spend their time DRAWING but i actually haven't made a drawing for classes this year at all lmao#only one of my assignments is a drawing otherwise im doing a fucking relief or another fucking sculpture (I HATE MAKING SCULPTURES!!!!!!!!)#idk idk idk i hate this so much im so tired of doing this bullshit that im not interested in
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I don't think I'll be doing any more drawings tonight, but I'll try to get more done tomorrow!
#i got a bit overwhelmed today#i love all the attention and support but some stuff just stresses me out more#all the meaninglessly playful hating stuff actually stressed me out and made me want to draw less#The grave ask was golden tho that was great#but some of the shit post stuff stressed me out bc there was ao much of it#sorry for rambling but like#having my blog get cluttered stresses me out tbh which is why I delete meaningless posts#i do enjoy 99% of the interaction I get!!! but sometimes its just a lot#also not being able to draw quickly stresses me out sometimes because I don't know why my hands just won't do the thing!#i do have some specific asks im excited to do#but some of them I don't really *want* to do (either bc i can't visualize or because I don't think I'd enjoy doing it)#and i feel bad! i don't want you to feel like im being unfair or ignoring you
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been sober for 5 weeks today, & in a lot of ways my quality of life has greatly increased. but one thing ive never rlly heard spoken abt when it comes to sobriety is how u literally have to learn how to feel again. just a really bizarre & strange transitory period !!!
#huge rant below but just thinking out loud like this is my diary LMAOOO#like i wasnt doing anything hard i just quit smoking weed#**hard as in like hard drugs but quitting smoking was nawt easy đ#but i smoked every single day for almost 10 yrs from late high school till my late 20s#& relying on that to like watch tv shows & de stress and hang out with friends and engage with my craft#truly fundamentally alters ur brain chemistry#like emotionally im so gray & itâs so much better than it was before bcs I sleep now#& I donât get super angry or overwhelmed or frustrated anymore#which is truly really great#but i also donât have the highs either which is weird !#itâs just so like coasting and i feel like now i have to reteach myself joy which is so weird#all in all tho things arenât bad just different & itâs an adjustment for sure !
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oh my goodness i did not expect a wave of requests to slap me after i got done finishing some pieces to answer
i am so humbled that yall like my art and my interpretations but it lowkey also scares me /vpos
#miscellaneous leer#yall scare me i love that#okay i have at least 5-6 pending requests maybe ill try my best to answer them asap bc i really wanna bring light to them#honestly i think i might have to hold requests if i feel to overwhelmed but im feeling jazzed whee#okay correction that plus 3 requests that aren't in my inbox. ill likely forget them but ill try my best to remember aaagdhdbdn
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In my imagination of red and leaf being twins and both autistic I think the only reason leaf doesn't have the same totally blank đ face as red is because she did the age old classic of practicing facial expressions in the mirror every day until she learned the basic ones. She also made her default expression a smile đ to seem more approachable.
Unfortunately since the expressions don't come naturally to her and she had to learn them, the can come off as exaggerated/overly dramatic. Which is fine for some people but others find it equally as off-putting as reds poker face. It makes her a little sad when people dislike her because of it bc shes doing her best to fit in but can't seem to get it right.
She puts a lot of effort into masking at least when she's a kid-teenager but once she's older and has made more solid friendships she can let herself relax and not need to stress about it so much, although in social situations she may still slip back into old habits.
Red does not mask and never really has. I choose 2 believe his mom was really supportive and accommodating so he wasn't forced to hide his autistic traits unlike leaf. This is because in my au they are twins but their parents split and leaf had to stay with their dad. Who is not as understanding as their mom.
Idk if he'd be actually horrible to her but he was not as patient or understanding as their mom + leaf also just craved more friends and wanted to be able to socialize more so she eventually learned how. Red is content with the 4 people he knows (mom, oak, daisy, green) and prefered to mostly be alone so he didn't have that motivating factor to do it.
He was very content with having one friend, green, but he was def lonley during their "rival" phase when green stopped hanging out with him and was focused on trying to prove himself in some way only he understood or worried about. Along with that is green also being the master of masking for the most part. I don't see oak as being particularly accommodating and patient with him so while Daisy probably was, she's also not a parent so she couldn't be responsible for caring for green the way oak should've been.
As they got older green also craved to be seen as cool and popular amongst his peers so he started masking heavily and also distanced himself from red. Unfortunately he realizes that being accepted for a fake version of himself by mainly strangers is actually very lonley and he misses their friendship đ˘ but atp he probably figures red wouldn't wanna be friends again bc of how green ignored him for so long so I think they don't become close again until After the gym challenge "rivalry"/red dissapearing/reuniting years later. So they were both missing each other a lot but both felt unable to reach out bc of the distance that grew between them when green pulled away. Anyways tldr green pro masker leaf trying very hard to mask but struggling a bit and red rawdogging his autism never masked a day in his life.
#green is better at masking in the sense that he doesnt struggle with facial expressions and can mimick others social behaviours pretty well#he really learned via watching others and practicing fake conversations in his head until he could navigate most conversations well#he does still have times where he did not account for certain factors or new situations so he has to observe and learn some more lol#leaf struggles with socializing even when she watches and tries to copy bc unlike green who is naturally a bit dramatic and animated#she instead leans heavily into having flat affect like red. she also struggles really hard with picking up on other ppls intent/feelings#the type of person who isnt sure what the emotion were feeling right now is bc she also struggles to identify her own feelings sometimes#red does that too. part of why hes very avoidant and internalizes everything is that he often can't identify exactly what hes feeling#and if he can he doesn't know how to make it feel better/would rather ignore it and try to focus on something else#green tries to internalize his negative emotions but i think hed struggle with it so he js def the type to bottle things up for awhile#but he quickly gets overwhelemed and ends up having a bit of a meltdown when he can't hold it in any more#hes very reactive. part of why his and oaks relationship is difficult to mend is bc green gets very easily triggered by any small jabs oak#makes at him even jf theyre unintentional especially if he compares him/his strength as a trainer to red#when red dissapears it would get worse bc he is constantly weighed down by guilt and can end up lashing out a bit#especially with his bpd making him prone to mood swings/very strong emotions he struggles to process#he gets better at it as he gets older but it's really overwhelming and difficult as a kid/teen bc oak is 0 help and daisy#does what she can to hell him when she can but shes his sister not his mom. im not making her take on a parental role she is also a kid#anyways. thjs js ungodly long#trainer red#trainer leaf#green oak#blue oak#pokemon headcanons
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