#where ppl are like just exercise just eat healthy just go outside etc

[kkujo]

the thing abt mental illness that sucks is. the stuff that people tell you makes it better doesn't actually always make it better in the moment. and it's hard when ur low energy but i think a lot of people get this idea of "it doesn't help so i'm not going to do it" but sometimes you gotta reframe it and see it as like. okay this doesn't make it better but it's also not going to make it worse. like washing your face might not make you feel better but it also won't make it worse. gentle exercise won't necessarily make you feel but it won't make you feel worse. going outside isn't going to fix anything but it also won't make it worse. trying to see them as neutral things rather than a magic cure. and the thing is over time when these things build up and it becomes routine, it DOES make it better. but it takes time and consistency. in the meantime though it won't make it worse.

[nerdygyl]

Hi My Name Is Nerdygyl,

I’m back ! ! !

Well i really don’t know the path in my life is not where i wanted to b. I have been suffering from an Eating Disorder properly for about 10yrs to 15yrs plus i have been through episodes of anorexia laxative abuse overuse when it was exercising bulimia & puked up & binge eating. I’m at my heaviness right now 18st to being the lightest really looking haggard & just basically i’ll looking at 8st. Having everybody i knew saying you look good so healthy but i didn’t feel like i was happy about being at 8st i wanted to be lighter & it got to the point i was doing journeys to a places that were like 2-3 hrs away from my hse so that i can walk it home & when i get home doing more exercises & being tired but doing it,it got to the point that if i didn’t exercise because of something that interfere with the time i had for that slot i would b so depressed about it that the next day i would add an extra hour so it would b 4hrs of exercise a puninshment for not exercising that day. My dad & i have been at home since March to Now shielding feeling the pressure of this virus like are we gonna die because this virus kills ppl who have underline conditions which both my dad & i have his conditions is at no fault of his own but me i had some conditions from when i was little to stuff i have done to myself because of being so stupid i always felt like when i was thin that i had lost a lot of my spark like i had died, died inside i was so focus so blant just basically nothing their but ppl wanted to b friends they liked this person this sickly looking person who about 2/3yrs ago were ghosting me & didn’t want to know i was always wondering & the voice in my head was saying to me it’s because you don’t look like them you have a skin condition then started to have a hormone problems then everything just came all at once i was having lots of anixety attacks & i would hyperventilate to the point i was breathing in a bag to calm me down & that wasn’t helping so i would have to go into the hospital i don’t know if anyone has experience the terror in it. Your heart is going fast & you can feel it pounding like it’s going jump out of your body then you pass out it scared me because it was happening 3x a week so now i’m on 3 tablets aniexty,depression & diazepam i take thyroid tablets migraine tablets. Now i just feel hopeless, depressed i have been in a binge cycle for a month & half now i have been sorting out my pantry all the food that is a trigger for me so i had to get rid & dividing up everything for relatives to come & pick from outside it would b ridiculous to throw out so i gave it to them i have to b binge free & eat 3 meals a day. Now i have been diagnosed as lactose intolerant, fatty liver hypertension as well i don’t drink alcohol i don’t have any sugary drinks or sweets biscuits chocolates all the usual stuff then i stopped eating those stuff & i wasn’t watching the other side like chips fast food the usual stuff so now that’s gone but i have to b careful with certain things like dairy cheese anything basically i get the stuff that goes with being lactose intolerant & i’m a vegetarian / vegan i eat all the good stuff etc. but i have binge cycles & i devate when i’m not veggie/vegan i don’t eat meat at all but also i don’t eat any seafood so i’m basically i would just live on carbs / veggies / fruits bread with bits in it i just drink water 2 bottles of 3litres a day but durning this winter season is tea but with lactose milk & nothing else i have tried having the vegetarian meats / chicken etc. but i can become rather obsessive when it comes to anything food very controlling but at the moment i’m in the binge cycle clawing myself out of everything i barley asscioate with ppl b4 all this lockdown always at home in my room laying in the dark not moving not eating just dead in the bed in the dark room i don’t sleep i don’t do anything i’m just exsisting.

[shijiujun]

history3 ep 9 summary - AKA SHAO FEI IS JEALOUS FOR 26 WHOLE MINUTES

GUYS YOU GONNA DIE OF LAUGHTER THIS EP OMFGGG WTF JUST HAPPENED?!!! although the jealousy was a bit much man

WE START OFF WHERE WE LEFT OFF LAST WEEK - OFFICE + ANDY

we start off with the massage scene again and oooh seductive andy’s tone as he tells tang yi to relax - nice hands and totally hypnotising YOU GO ANDY

bodydumb and shao fei teaming up is hilarious AND OMG so andy bends down to the floor like we all saw last week, and that’s when both bodydumb and shao fei literally gasp like HORRIFIED and just barge into the room to grab andy up and shao fei is all “what the fuck are you doing why are you crouching down what position is this?!”

CUE SLY ANDY JUMPING UP, POUTING AND THEN HIDING BEHIND TANG YI: “ah yi, this person is so fierce i’m so scared”

shao fei: “i’m now tang yi’s bodyguard and i feel that you’re dangerous and problematic so leave right now”

bodydumb at shao fei: “hey why are you snatching my job?!”

“WHAT’S WRONG WITH THE BOTH OF YOU, AM I BACTERIA?!” - ANDY at shao fei and bodydumb WTF HAHAHAHAHA

omg andy is squatting down on purpose to fuck with them I LOVE HIM

THE NEXT SCENE - they move to the restaurant and geez where is andy GIVE ME MY ANDY but anyway SHAO FEI IS TOTES ANGRY AT TANG YI AND THEY’RE AT THE RESTAURANT AND OMG BODYDUMB YOU HAVE BEEN UPGRADED TO BODYGUARD HE TOTALLY SAW THE ATMOSPHERE AND WAS LIKE ALRIGHT TIME TO FUCKING EXIT instead of sitting around and watch th both of them

omgggggg shao fei is so jealous he’s eating so damn hard and noisily and tang yi is just laughing at him and he CHOKES HE FUCKING CHOKES because he’s eating so damn hard and angrily and tang yi just laughs at him he can’t take it anymore

tang yi insists that they’re friends - shao fei is like: “what kind of friends? there are the ones that go for karaoke, the friends that you exercise with.... and then then kind that do the OTHER kind of exercise, which kind are you guys?!” and after a while of him just talking tang yi interrupts him and goes: “are you trying to understand or are you jealous?”

SHAO FEI, WITHOUT HESITATION: “BOTH!!!!”

and then he denies it as he mutters to himself, and just look at how gleeful and happy tang yi is wtaf and then shao fei goes on and on about how andy has a boyfriend and what if his boyfriend came to find trouble with you? you already have so many enemies, now you want to add on another love-enemy?”

tang yi: “you’re thinking too much”

shao fei goes on as if he didn’t hear him: “you never know, things are crazy nowadays, did you see the news?!!!! etc. etc. especially because you’re so charismatic?!”

and tang yi just takes the praise in stride it’s amazing - and then because shao fei is so damn angry tang yi i think purposely picks up shao fei’s coke and drinks it with the spicy dish they’re having, and as expected, shao fei pauses in his tirade and goes: “hey, you’re drinking coke now?”

and tang yi NODS

OMFGGGGG CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT - TANG YI IS SWEET!!! and shao fei spoils the moment (or makes it better, it’s up to interpretation): “you’re drinking my saliva (from the coke)”

OMGGGGG THE LADDER BODYGUARD DUDE IS QUITE HANDSOME TOO NO?!!!!

JACK is totally jealous that zhao zi is touching some other dude’s pecs and man-boobs, so he’s totally like come touch mine zhao zi don’t touch that old man’s!!!!

jack: “if you want, you can come check mine (muscles)”

he’s totally flirting, but zhao zi is like: “okay! you promised, no take backs, you can’t be shy on me later” 

jack: “me? i think you’re the one who will be scared” (BECAUSE THEY ARE THINKING OF DIFFERENT THINGS)

zhao zi: “this is nothing, back in the academy, i’ve even seen guys butt naked etc. etc.” - dear lord zhao zi you’ve got no idea, you’ve got NO IDEA HOW MUCH jack is thirsting over ur ass

more zhao zi and grandma backstory: SNIFFLES grandma died in his second year of police academy and paid for his education, but didn’t live to see him graduate, and i SWEAR IF JACK DIDN’T ALR LOVE HIM HE DOES NOW?! 

OMG ZHAO ZI CAN U BE MORE STEADY THAT WASN’T LIKE A FLIMSY LADDER?! anw they fall into the pool like in the trailer and omg i love them, and because jack is wearing a white see-through shirt which is totes translucent when he stands up from the pool and zhao zi is totally drooling at his man-boobs and then jack goes: “you’re kidding, you want to check now?!”

HONG YE walks past with Dao Yi, she’s here to discuss smth with Tang yi and waiting for him to come back and then she sees Jack and Zhao Zi in the pool and is like WTF - zhao zi recognises her face from interviews and tv that she’s done (probably for the company etc.) and intros himself as a police and then she ‘s like HMPH WTF and then stomps into the house

LOL - “HONG YE LOOKS LIKE MY GRANDMA” - ZHAO ZI QUOTE OF THE YEAR he’s damn lucky hong ye wasn’t in earshot when he said that she would have DESTROYED HIM

i wanna explain more about hong ye and glasses guy dao yi but i’ll do that after i get this out in full - in any case, she wants him, he obviously likes her, but refuses to be her boyfriend because he is having a dilemma, considering that he’s watched her grow up and also protected her since she was younger in a sense, he’s finding it hard to decide whether to treat her as his charge or a woman that can be his girlfriend

LOLOLOLOL

OMGGGG HOT DOCTOR?!!!!!!!! 

tang yi: “we’re here because i need to repay a debt”

shao fei: “what debt? why must you do it here?”

HOT DOCTOR POPS UP: “because there’s a bed~” - wow hot doctor way to go way to make shao fei go even more mad and jealous

OMFG - SHAO FEI’S EYES WHEN TANG YI STRIPS OFF CLOSE YOUR DAMN MOUTH FLIES ARE GONNA GO IN

OMFGGGGGGGGGG SHAO FEI PLSSSS

you guys can imagine what happens inside and what shao fei hears before barging in, things like “oh this is my first time, am i using too much force? etc. etc.” - of course, of course 

after shao fei barges in, gapes at tang yi, tang yi shooing him off cutely like he would his husband or lover, and then shao fei stomping out-

doctor dude at shao fei: “wow, wasn’t he a bit too angry?” - YEAH DOC YOU DON’T SAY

HE’S STILL ANGRY OMG SHAO FEI - “is your body meant for other people to touch?!!!!”

OH JESUS BASICALLY TANG YI SHRUGS OFF HIS JACKET AND PUFFS UP HIS CHEST AND GOES: “here you go, you wanna touch?!!!”

good on you shao fei, you didn’t take the bait like zhao zi did - he stomps into the house, goes to the fridge, grabs a drink, and then while pouting and obviously jelly still, he presses the drink to tang yi, and tang yi SMILES omgggg he’s killing me with his smiles

omg poooooor bodyguard - he thinks tang yi doesn’t know that shao fei likes him, so he’s trying to tell tang yi that shao fei has other motivations against him aka shao fei is lusting over him, but tang yi already knows?!!! tang yi tells bodyguard that if he cannot control himself, he’ll transfer him out of the house

OH SHIT: bodyguard goes outside, idk who the hell he is talking to but he says over the phone - “hey, it’s me, do you have time to meet?” - he’s definitely meeting a bad person, it could be hong ye but at this point it doesn’t look like it but it could be anyone’s guess

scene at tang yi’s office - he feels the tension between hong ye and dao yi, and basically she wants to make dao yi jealous and mad, so when dao yi suggests a project for tang yi to do, she steps in and goes: “i don’t think we should spend so much money on the project, can you loan me some people and i’ll do a site visit myself to check?”

and then she sees shao fei buddying up with the guy outside - LOL SHAO FEI LEGIT IS GANGSTERBAIT?!!!! EVERYONE ELSE LOVES HIM AND HE’S FRIENDLY W EVERYONE I HOPE

she sees him and she’s like: “i’ve been really good haven’t i? then i wanna go shopping, i want officer meng to guard me while i shop”

and dao yi is like GASPS: “no, miss, i’ll-”

hong ye: “it’s such a waste for a policeman like him to just stay in here doing nothing, he might as well protect me”

shao fei in the end, even though he protests a bit, but - omggggg the way shao fei listens to tang yi without much argument i love it, tang yi says that protecting hong ye is like protecting her, so shao fei smiles, nods, and goes, but not before saying to hong ye: “what is the worst that could happen (on the trip)?” - WOW FORESHADOWING, GOOD JOB SCRIPTWRITERS FINALLY ON THIS PART

i kind of liked this scene because it shows us the hong ye-shao fei sibling rivalry dynamic - challenging, but healthy challenging rather than heated, harsh barbs aimed to murder each other

okay at this point: we can CONFIRM more or less that the person on the photo isn’t glasses guy Dao Yi, because right after hong ye and shao fei leaves, tang yi is very friendly and warm towards dao yi: “if you won’t promise her, you can’t blame her for treating you like this”

dao yi: “it’s not that i won’t, it’s that i can’t”

tang yi: “if you think too much, you’ll just hurt each other”

it ends there - so GUYS we know we have the shooting tmr and hong ye’s shady scene, i really don’t think hong ye is evil at this point, but she could be doing something she thinks is in tang yi’s and the organization’s best interests, but is doing more harm than good - during the earlier scene in the ep w her and dao yi, dao yi mentions that she shouldnt be so concerned with how other ppl will view Xing Tian Meng and whether they would wanna do business with them because their company and the organization is all legal and clean now, so there’s no matter - but then hong ye replies: “that’s only when we’re FULLY legal and clean, not now” - it’s strange that she would make such a distinction, so i guess she is doing something shady but not totally evil, and my take is that when shao fei gets hurt for it, she feels guilty 

or she could be the person bodyguard is meeting?!!!

OR MAYBE I’M THINKING TOO MUCH INTO THIS GUYS