#still struggling with the loss of her mum and conflicts with her dad

[nenoname]

always lamenting the loss of the stan+wendy crime bonding b plot.... it would've been so good for both of their characters.....

[fanficparker]

Faking, Falling > Part 14

Harrison Osterfield x Reader (Fake dating! Unrequited love switcheroo!)

Word count: ~2.2k words

Warning: Swearing, slight nudity 👀, Major FlOOf, Harrison's Black Monday T-shirt is actually cursed...

Summary: A series of fortunate events...

<< PART 13 [ MASTERLIST ] PART 15 >>

Laughing like this was easy, maybe because he made it easy for you. Harrison never once tried to come up with anything said or heard last night. No questions asked, no answers required. It was considerate of him to not pick up the topic again or pressure you to hastily make a serious decision. Neither he acted like one of those boys who would distance themselves and end all ties, just because the other person needed time to think or didn't feel the same way.

Harrison rather gave you space to breathe and to think. He unknowingly prevented your confusing feelings to swirl into a vortex of stupidity, ending up eating its own tail. He kept on talking and talking about almost everything except that, but it was amazing to hear him speak, opening up to you. You sat there, legs crossed on the cool marble floor of your balcony, back comfortably rested against the wall, a warm cup of tea in your hands while Harrison was sitting exactly opposite to you, back pressed against the other wall. His tea was long forgotten, kept on the floor beside him, cooling down abandoned. He was sitting almost six feet apart from you and a lot of things he was speaking were stupid and didn't make much sense. Yet his accent was such a playful tune, you could have sat there all day simply to listen to the music it carried and smile. But as the tea in your cup finished, the music stopped along with it.

"Why don't you tell something? I am the only one speaking," He chuckled, finally pausing his rambling. He picked up the abandoned cup and sipped the tea only to hiss at the distaste and eventually discarded it again.

"…What should I talk about?" You spoke as your hands struggled to push away the little strands of hair that were tickling at your skin.

"Anything..." He trailed off, thinking for a topic himself. You tilted your head to the side, looking at the indigo coloured sky turning darker with each passing moment, finger resting below your chin.

Harrison's eyes settled over your side profile. He couldn't help but admire the way the dark sky complimented the fairy lights beside your head, your skin glowing from the shine. Your hairs were flowing freely in the wind, the rim of your glasses falling on your nose, lips slightly parted, a finger placed over your lower lip. He wanted to capture the moment. He searched for his phone only to find it kept beside the discarded tea cup. His thumb swiped up to open the camera and he looked at you through the digital screen.

In case you didn't want to see him after tomorrow he could at least have a memorandum of all the time you were his girlfriend. Fake girlfriend. The thought wasn't a pleasant one yet he was smiling brightly. The soft sound of the camera shutter snapped you out of your head and look at him confused.

"Did you just... click my picture?" You asked blinking in confusion. He hesitantly bounced his Samsung in his hand as heat rushed to his cheeks and heart almost exploded. He struggled to put it in his pocket, only to realise that his shorts were devoid of any.

"Show me!" There was nothing but playfulness in your voice as you got up and rushed towards him. Still, he couldn't stop feeling like a thief caught red-handed. You dropped to your knees in front of him and snatched off his phone, looking at the picture yourself. He just couldn't stop blushing.

"You are saved Osterfield. If it was bad, I would have kicked you out," You laughed grabbing his hand and placing the phone on his palm. As your hand left his, he curled his fingers around the device. You were about to stand up when a thought crawled inside your brain.

"We should have a picture together," The words just fell out of your tongue.

"Yes! We should definitely have a picture together. Why didn't I think of this earlier?" You reinforced your own idea, eyes wide and excited. He gulped slowly, licking his lips.

"Right," He exhaled. You sat beside him, your side pressed against his as he flipped the camera and stretched out his hand. He looked up at the screen along with you and produced a smile but the camera couldn't capture your face properly due to the lights on the corner, the spot where you were currently sitting below.

"Wait." You mumbled, getting up. He almost shivered in the loss of warmth he had no idea he was enjoying. But then right there he lost his breath somewhere in his throat as you sat over his thigh, snaking an arm around his neck.

"This will be good," You grinned looking at him and at the camera. Your hand travelled to his face and you pulled off his glasses keeping it aside on the floor, along with yours.

Good? Are you kidding me? He realised he lost his words do.

"Click the picture Haz!" You squealed and pressed your face to the side of his like everything wasn't enough already. He breathed in and almost dropped his phone but then successfully captured three or four pictures. As he kept his camera down, you threw both your arms around his neck, looking at his face.

His hands awkwardly circled your waist, too delicately for your liking as his eyes looked at yours. Your smile vanished away when you dared to look down at those pink lips. He was breathing with his mouth; his lips were hanging open.

You lost it right there. You dipped your head in, capturing his lips in your own. You broke the kiss even before Harrison could comprehend the contact to glance at his face. His unconsciously closed eyes fluttered open. The air was too thick to even breathe properly, his chest was almost constricted. He stared back at you in shock and surprise. You spoke nothing, instead pressed your forehead and nose against his, looking at his eyes.

"Couldn't resist. Sorry," A breathless chuckle escaped your lips, the warm breath hitting right onto Harrison's lips.

"Mind if I kiss you again... more properly?" You whispered against him, lips almost touching, desperate for any contact.

"I... never stopped you," His eyes flickered down and the next moment your lips were over his again. You gripped the back of his neck, one of his hands on your waist tightened while the other travelled to hold your face.

Before you knew he had turned the tables and suddenly he was dominating the kiss. He lightly pushed your head back as his tongue entered your mouth. Your nose was bumping every time he tilted his head and moved his chin up and down. You tasted of tea and of crisps and he surely did too, yet your breath tasted new to him and he couldn't help but devour.

Your hands rested on his chest; you pushed him back breaking the kiss. You were panting, almost breathless. He looked at you with his flushed face, chest heaving. He wanted to kiss you again and again till his lips went sore. God, how much had he waited for this moment! But he knew it wasn't the right time for this, so he instead pulled you closer, pressing your forehead against his.

"We---"

You interrupted him with your finger resting on his lips.

"Don't talk... Not yet." You whispered, breathless, against his mouth.

***

Sitting with your parents on the dining table was just them talking about how you have spent all the time with Harrison. It would have been one great embarrassing discussion if your mind wasn't busy thinking of a method to come into all types of conclusions in just one day. Harrison's flight to London was early morning, specifically at 09:00 am the day after tomorrow whereas your flight was after a week.

If thirteen days were enough to fall in love with Harrison Osterfield, you were afraid— a week's time was enough for him to change his mind. The thought scared you. A reason why you couldn't make yourself talk about the kiss or your feelings for him in general.

Love is scary. You had known that. Everything about falling in love was scary, yet you had thrown yourself in that tunnel. No wonder they said falling in love and not rising in love. They also said love makes you a philosopher... And makes you laugh at your own helplessness.

You chuckled and choked on your food. Tears pricked on the corner of your eyes. Your relentless coughing shifted everyone's attention from the food and the banter to you. Your dad was quick to hand you a glass of water that you were chugging for life while Harrison was rubbing your back. Your mum was busy scolding you for being careless in her concern and frustration mixed tone. But the coughing surely made your parents forget about the 'lost times'. You were anyway going to spend a week in Harrison's absence with them, they had nothing to be grumpy about. Right now, you were only thinking about how to... not overthink.

Little did you know, everything was more conflicting and difficult for him. That boy just had a days’ time left with you. He had no intention of quitting when he was literally one foot away from the finish line. Slipping and losing at this point would be nothing less than a tragedy especially when the price of winning was you.

***

You came back early from the evening walk. You slammed the door behind you as you entered your room, sitting on the edge of the bed. It was almost a week, you and Harrison had started going for a walk after dinner, the day after he realised how lazy he was getting and how fast he was losing his abs. And since today your mum and dad decided to join both of you, you all ended up playing badminton in the lawn instead. It was even scarier to consider how much your parents had accepted Harrison as a part of their family. You almost couldn't breathe and excused yourself of getting tired and rushed inside.

The cool air of the AC was unable to dry off the sweat or kill off the discomfort in your gut. Your eyes landed on the crumbled piece of fabric lying on the chair in the corner of the room. It was Harrison's t-shirt. He hadn't learned to fold and keep his clothes neatly yet. You were sure the chair would have been a pile of all his clothes if you hadn't slapped his clothes on his face regularly. Yet, one of his t-shirts was still lying. You walked up to it almost immediately and picked it up. You looked over to the mirror on your dressing table, your eyes travelled up and down at your own figure and then the t-shirt in your hand. The thought of seeing yourself in his clothes settled in your consciousness. Biting at your lower lip, you lifted your own top off your head and placed it on the chair, inserting your head and limbs on the holes of his Bad Monday t-shirt.

The door opened with a thud and your heart skipped a beat. Harrison had entered the room and saw you half-naked, the fabric had barely reached your neck.

"Shit!" He cursed and instantly turned his front to the other side but a squeal had already left your throat.

You shoved the material down your belly, covering your chest with your hands even when the soft fabric had already covered you. The thing was... you weren't even wearing a bra. The tips of your ears were pink and hot with embarrassment complimenting with the skin of your face. You were almost panting; your heart was beating like you just ran a fucking marathon. Harrison was still standing with his back facing you, his body was stiff just like the tips of his ears. The room had gone into radio silence, the air was thick and uncomfortable. You exhaled loudly in an attempt to cut through the tension but it only made him flinch lightly.

"H-h-h—" You stammered, then bit the inside of your cheek. Calm. Down. You tried again, this time taking in a deep breath. You released your hands but then couldn't figure out what to do with them, so you instead clasped and unclasped your fists in constant reassurance.

"H-Harrison."

"I... I will just use the bathroom," He uttered in a single breath, words almost over-lapping. He hurriedly rushed inside the bathroom looking to the side but not you. You were actually grateful for that. The sound of the bathroom door slamming made your heart lurch and all the air to rush back into your lungs. You closed your eyes momentarily and plopped on the bed. You laid on your side and shoved the covers till your chin, slowly closing your eyes again.

Guess, you'll just pretend to sleep...

______________________

OPINIONS ON THIS CHAPTER???

A/N: I am changing Jerry's birthday to Jerry's wedding reception for the sake of the story. Sorry, for any inconveniences.

TAGLIST:  @asmilinghopefullromantic​ // @just-a-littlebit-of-everything​ // @xximaweirdoxx​ // @jjasalem​ // @spidergirl007​ // @wizliar​ // @justasmisunderstoodasloki​ // @veronicas-littleworld​ // @acceptance07​ // @ghostspf​ // @screeching-student-unknown​ // @fanficscuziranout​ // @miraclesoflove​ // @trustfundparker​ // @tikapollak​ // @yourmum792​ // @skymoonandstardust​ // @nxdxh* // @httplayer​ // @peterparkerbabyyy* // @lizzyosterfield​ // @tomhaz​ // @softholand​ // @girl1sstuff​ // @thenoddingbunny-blog​ // @starlight-starks​

[inquartata30]

WIP Whenever (Tuesday)

Tagged by @foofyschmoofer

Tagging @natsora @jt-boi-n7 @fogsblue no obligations

This is another Safira POV scene that takes place way back in time. We’re talking almost 300 years, when Thaia was still a little kid.

Hardly had Sula closed the door behind her when Meir outright asked the question that had weighed on them all since the pool. “She’s dead, isn’t she? Dad. Or whoever the fuck she was.”

Sula let out a long breath. “Yeah. Korlus.”

“The fuck was she doing there?”

“Getting herself killed, obviously,” said Eirian, arms crossed tightly against her body. 

Stopping herself from lashing out, Safira knew. Eirian’s temper had somewhat abated as she’d grown into maidenhood, but both she and Thaia possessed tempers on the side of a little too healthy. To be fair, all four of them did. It was just that Safira and Meir had had more time to tame theirs. They’d learned to recognize when they needed to step back from a situation before they lost control—and then follow through with said step. It wasn’t foolproof, however.

Meir jumped to her feet. “She had no business being there. Being a fucking merc. She didn’t even have the skills.”

“Yes, she did,” said Safira, pointedly staying seated in her chair closest to the end of the hallway. “Remember? She could sneak up on all of us.”

Sula nodded. “She was a good commando when she served. Knew her shit inside and out. Could’ve captained her own squad. What she didn’t have was the right mindset for a merc. Never did.”

“Or maybe she forgot her skills like she fucking forgot us,” said Eirian, biting down on the last word.

Safira wondered how long it would be before Eirian lost her temper, not that she could be blamed any more than Thaia could when she’d cried herself to sleep. Goddess, now Safira was gritting her own teeth. She forced herself to relax. There were enough tempers flaring as it was. Meir was practically vibrating, the subtle glow of a fomenting biotic flare a haze over her skin. Eirian’s biotic corona was even more obvious, wisps already rising.

Sula moved sluggishly into the nearest chair, dragged down by the immense weight pressed upon her over the past year. The energy of Sula’s anger had already been spent, redirected to consoling her youngest. By night’s end, reality had proven that consolation wasn’t to be had, no matter the effort. Amma—Matriarch Aysu, Sula’s mother and their grandmother—had traded with Sula to sit in the room with her. Keeping watch while Sula went to speak with her older children. Her adult children who understood the situation between their parents no better than Thaia did. 

Once, Safira had even gone directly to the supposed source and come away with nothing. “Honestly,” she said, “I think she forgot who she was entirely.”

“That’s no fucking excuse to forget the existence of three of her kids.” Meir stalked around the living area of their family’s Illium flat.

“I didn’t say it was.”

Eirian was on her feet. “Are you defending her?”

“No, that isn’t—goddess, I’m just trying to understand why, like the rest of you.”

“There’s no point. It won’t change a fucking thing.” Meir punctuated it with a flare, ready to fight the ghost of their father that had haunted them since well before she’d died.

At the same time, Eirian said, “I don’t care why.”

“That’s the biggest fucking lie you’ve ever told yourself,” said Sula. While the words themselves were harsh, her tone wasn’t. Soft, with a bit of self-reflection. That Sula had tried and failed to use the same lie on herself. 

Safira wondered how many times her mother had tried to understand why. How often her mother must have blamed herself for what’d happened. And if she still did, despite everything. “It wasn’t your fault, Mum.”

Faint amusement crept into Sula’s eyes as she wearily turned in Safira’s direction. “It’s still adorable when you say that.”

“Don’t dismiss what I said. Amma’s told you the same thing.”

“She’s right,” Eirian said.

“It wasn’t your fault, either, kid,” said Sula. “It’s over and done, at least.” She hadn’t looked this outwardly tired in a long time.

Meir picked up on it as well. “Mum, if you’re going to Korlus in the morning, you should get some sleep.”

“I’m not going to Korlus.”

“Then who’s going to retrieve her body?” asked Safira. Someone had to, no matter the pain of the past twenty years.

“Leave it there to rot,” said Meir.

Eirian fell down hard on the sofa, like Meir had punched her. Even Safira had suffered a glancing blow. Meir had called for denying their father the most basic respect asari from the Armalian coast gave to the dead. You didn’t just leave them where they fell. It was such a basic rite that there were numerous stories from the Armalian Peninsula conflicts about the courtesy. Huntresses had picked up the bodies of their fallen foes and seen them returned to their people after a battle had ended. While Indah had become a recent stranger, it didn’t negate that she had been a father they’d known and loved—and had loved them, Safira was sure of it—for the century and more before that. If enemies were afforded the simplest of respects, then they had a responsibility to the body of the stranger who bore their father’s face.

Chin trembling, Eirian stared at Meir. “You don’t mean that. You don’t.”

Meir’s defiance visibly drained in the sudden slump in her shoulders. “No. I don’t even know why I said it.”

“Because angry’s easier than anything else,” Amma said, emerging from Thaia’s room.

“Angry’s easier than what?” Meir asked.

Amma patted Sula’s shoulder as she walked past her to sit beside Eirian. She wrapped an arm around Eirian’s shoulders and pulled her close. “Admitting that you’ve been grieving over the loss of your father since the day she left, taking your littlest sister with her.” 

And Meir’s temper was back. “I’m not admitting shit.”

“Thank you for proving my point. Your cooperation is appreciated.”

When Meir declined to reply, Sula filled in the gap before the looming silence could. “She asleep?”

“Yes. I had to guide her there, but she’ll get a couple hours of good rest out of it. However, once that cycle ends, I can’t see how there won’t be a nightmare.”

Those would surge again. There was no escape. For the first month or two Thaia had come to live with them, the nightmares had occurred almost every night, sometimes multiple times. As the year passed, they’d lessened in frequency to an average of one or two a week. Those moments when Safira had helped her return to sleep, when she’d touched her mind and experienced that pain and terror directly caused by Aulus, indirectly caused by Indah’s lack of care to protect her own daughter, Safira had been left struggling with her own temper.

Meir’s corona flared again. “Every time she wakes up screaming, I want to put that asshole in a reave and leave him there, right on the edge of dying. And then fucking keep him there.”

“As much as the idea appeals, that would hurt you more, in the end,” said Amma. “You’re the throwing type, not the torture type. That kind of act would eat away at you for the rest of your life. Take solace in the fact that the matriarchs who caught him at the park weren’t gentle.”

Meir brightened. “Throwing him around sounds good. Who’s going to tell him? I’m volunteering, in case that wasn’t clear.”

“I should go, too,” Eirian said. “Maybe I couldn’t protect her like you did for me, but this would be something.”

It left Safira torn. While she welcomed the possible opportunity to tell Aulus how she truly felt, seeing him face-to-face again was less worthy than seeing to their father’s body. She looked at Sula. “You never answered about seeing to Indah’s body.”

Sula rubbed at her forehead. “Drack’s there. He’s making the proper arrangements to send her here.”

“And then,” said Amma, “we are commissioning an autopsy.”

“Why?” asked Eirian.

“Like your sister said, Indah slowly became a stranger, ending her life nothing like the person your mother and I had known for two centuries. For the final five years of her life, she didn’t produce a single poem. Not one. No entries in her journals.”

“How? Dad was never not composing. Maybe you just didn’t find her journals,” Meir said.

“We looked everywhere. There weren’t any. Most recent was a little over five years ago. And the poems in it were all shit,” Sula said.

Eirian laughed. She covered her mouth with her hand to stem it, but it didn’t work. “Imagine...” She descended into another giggling fit. “Imagine Dad’s face if you’d ever told her that. Goddess.”

A laugh trampled its way through Meir’s fire. “She’d have done that thing where she just stared, flat out stared like she was staring into your soul and you’d wonder what wrongs you’d committed over the course of your entire life and then start confessing them just so she’d stop—”

“That was you who got that look, not the rest of us,” said Safira. “And you deserved it each time.”

Eirian managed to wrangle her giggles enough to add, “I still don’t see how the fuck Dad kept a straight face after you confessed to hooking up with the elcor ambassador’s daughter on the inlet beach and she asked—” 

“‘Only the once?’” finished Safira, perfectly reproducing their father’s Cultivated Armalian accent and cadence. 

Even Sula spared a few chuckles. “She laughed for ten minutes straight after she walked into our bedroom and closed the door.”

[katie-dub]

A Special Day of Mourning

Fleabag Fic

Summary: Last time a wedding brought us together, this time it's a funeral. Still the tragic loss of Godmother in a freak accident involving a falling wall of plaster of paris penises has got to be good for something, right?

AO3

Yes, I’m back with more Fleabag x the Priest fic. Thank you as ever to the delightful @eirabach for reading this for me, when she doesn’t even go here! I love you darling.

15 Years Later

So last time you saw me, I was sending my sister off to go get the hot Finn who was crazy about her after my almost boyfriend the actual Priest delivered a terrifying homily about love at Dad’s wedding to the ever repellent Godmother. The Priest broke my heart when he chose God over me and exited pursued by a fox.

Since then I found love, tried the whole marriage thing, had a child, realised I was surprisingly good at motherhood but less so at being married and am now amicably divorced. I still touch myself thinking about that one night with the Hot Priest who was the first man I ever loved, unless of course you count Leonardo DiCaprio, which I don’t.

Claire and Klare have three terrifyingly beautiful children and she actually smiles constantly now. It was disconcerting at first, but after all this time, I think I’m used to it.

Dad’s still alive and kicking, at 88 years of age. Godmother, however, is not. She passed away in a freak accident involving a falling wall of plaster of paris penises at her sexhibition two weeks ago. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer person.

Before The Funeral

I walk up to Dad’s house with my Daughter in tow. She’s 11 and has already entered her awkward teenage years a whole two years early. Fucking overachiever.

That’s not to say that she isn’t the light of my life, the apple of my eye and all other appropriate cliches. It’s just that I can finally appreciate how really fucking annoying teenage girls can be. And she hasn’t even started her period yet.

We ring the doorbell and I hum “Ding Dong the Witch is Dead” very softly under my voice. If there’s a hell, I’m almost certainly heading there.

Claire answers the door. “Hello, are you ready for this sad, sad, sad day?”

“I’ve brought the champagne!” I reply, lifting the bottle I bought especially. Just to toast to our dearly departed Godmother in the manner she would have wanted, of course.

“You look absolutely gorgeous,” Claire says, eyeing me suspiciously.

“You know grief does wonders for my complexion, I can’t help it!” And if there’s an extra spring in my step at the thought of finally being free of Godmother, well you can hardly blame me.

I deliberately take a moment to compose myself. I do feel for Dad, burying his second wife has got to be monumentally shit, even if he is better off without her.

“Wait,” Claire tugs on my arm urgently, bringing me to a halt.

“Is everything OK?”

“Your Priest is in there,” Claire murmurs in an undertone, her lips barely moving.

I’m struggling to follow her meaning. “What?”

“You know, your Priest, the one you - you know?” Oh. Oh! “He’s in there with Dad, comforting him, he’s conducting the funeral. I just thought you might need some warning.”

I wonder if he’s still hot. “Is he still hot?”

“Painfully hot,” she says with a grim nod and a tone that implies catastrophe. “He’s also still a man of god, so just don’t fuck him again ok?”

“I do have some restraint! That said, he was really fucking good at it. I’m single again, why not hey?”

Claire’s jaw is tight. It’s fun to know that I can still wind her up like this at the age of nearly 50. “I mean it,” she pleads sincerely, “I know I wasn’t around much last time with Finland and everything, but I could tell how much that hurt you then and I don’t want to have to kick a Priest’s arse for hurting my little sister.”

There’s a steely glint in her eye that makes it clear she means it, and I find myself deeply touched. I swallow down a lump in my throat and shrug, an “if you say so” gesture. “Didn’t know you cared.”

She nods. “Right. Oh also, Godmother is in there.”

“Wait, Godmother? Like her body?”

“Yes, it’s a whole art thing apparently.” Claire says “art thing” like it’s an infectious disease. “Transparent coffin. It’s horrendous.”

We walk into the living room, Dad is sat on the sofa, head in his hands, the Priest is beside him, an arm around his shoulder. His neck is still beautiful.

And right where the coffee table should be, a transparent coffin, with Godmother inside, wrapped in some kind of hot pink monstrosity.

“Oh holy fuck,” I shout, stopping abruptly at the sight.

Claire somehow avoids crashing into me and steps around me muttering “I did warn you” under her voice.

I shake myself, forcing my feet to take me further into the room. I drag my eyes away from Godmother, seeking out Dad to comfort him, and I’m greeted by the sight of my Priest’s warm smile turned on me.

He has more wrinkles and his once dark hair is now salt and pepper, but age hasn’t changed one fundamental fact: he is deeply, unfairly hot. Lucky bastard.

And he looks pleased to see me, which I’ll admit does good things to my ego, I may be a divorcee fast approaching 50, but maybe I’m not completely unfuckable yet. Or maybe this is just a genuine friendly smile for a former lover. Either way, it’s a happy surprise.

“Hello,” he says, “I’m sorry to leave just as you’re getting here -” his eyes suggest that this comment is sincere “- but I need to be on my way to the church.” He grips my arm briefly as he moves past me, a small gesture of comfort that nonetheless sends a little shiver of anticipation through me. I’m surprised that even after all this time he can affect me like this. “I’m sorry for your loss, but it is lovely to see you.”

“You too,” I agree, “I’ll see you at the church.” He nods and heads out of the door.

Oh fuck, the church.

The last time I was in that church I was trying to wrestle him out of his clothes. I’ve never been back. Not inside it at least, although I may have dawdled outside it on more than one occasion. And now I have to sit through Godmother’s funeral there, all the time thinking about the way he ordered me to “kneel” in the confessional. Maybe about when he repeated that command in my house and I sucked him off.

I try to distract myself with other thoughts, but the only thing to look at is the coffin. It really is hideous, and not so much because it's a dead body, but that pink is a bit much and the embroidery on it looks suspiciously like - "is that funeral shroud really covered in fornicating skeletons?" I ask, looking to Claire in the hopes of hearing a sensible "no".

"It is," she confirms, her mouth a hard-set line of disapproval.

"Well fuck me."

The Funeral Procession

We didn’t do a funeral procession for Mum when it was her funeral. It was too over the top and showy for her. So of course Godmother insisted.

I’m packed into a car with Dad and Daughter driven by the Shepherd of the Deceased, as the man insisted on being called (I can see why Godmother liked him, but what's wrong with just calling yourself a funeral director?). Claire and her family are in the car behind us. We inch down the roads painfully slowly, surely pissing off half of London as we follow the hearse to the church.

My heart pounds at the sight of the church, a feeling that quickly gives way to confusion as we continue to drive past it. “Where the fuck are we going?”

“Language,” tuts my Daughter, and I’m tempted to stick my tongue out at her. I promise, I really am a good mum. Usually.

“No seriously, haven’t we just gone past the church?”

“Hmmm? Er, wh-what’s that dear?” asks Dad distracted and distraught and I’m beyond bewildered.

We pull up outside an entirely unfamiliar church, and it occurs to me that my Priest must have been moved to a new parish. All this time avoiding his church and he doesn’t even work there now.

I get out of the car and help Dad to do the same. I walk to the front door and that’s when I see the sign: St Jude’s Anglican Church.

Anglican?

What. The. Fuck?

The Funeral

There’s no chance for me to confront the Priest about his conversion before the service, so I sit by Dad’s side during it and stew on this startling revelation.

Anglican. He’s Anglican now, and so, apparently, no longer celibate. Not that he did all that well at the whole celibacy thing while I was around.

Does this mean he’s available? Or did he leave the Catholic Church for someone else, someone who he loved enough to really be with, someone who he is still with now?

I realise this sounds like I spent the past 15 years and all of my marriage pining for an unavailable man, when honestly, I haven’t. But it’s still something of a head fuck to discover that he is no longer forbidden fruit. The possibility of that is delicious, while also giving me doubts about what we ever had.

Like I said, a head fuck.

I can’t help but think, looking at his outfit with its minimalist design, that he must miss the robes from Catholicism. You can say what you like about their beliefs, but those Catholics have got style.

"Sometimes I worry that I'm only in it for the outfits," he'd said that night in the church, the alcohol and desire for me driving him to doubt himself. Well, he proved that wrong, didn't he?

A cameraman zooms in on my face and I find myself looking to camera, startled, before realising that I should probably focus on looking rather more distraught at Godmother’s death and rather less intrigued by the possibility of fucking the Priest again.

Trust Godmother to hire a camera crew to film her own fucking funeral.

The Wake

"I'm very interested in the conflict of my mortality, the desire to cheat death expressed in my pursuit of sexual pleasure with its promise of rebirth," Godmother narrates in her death video. "My custom-made burial shroud is a culmination of these desires, the fabric interwoven with fungal spores such that in my passing, new life springs anew."

I feel a presence beside me and assuming it's Claire, start to talk over Godmother's incessant monologue. "Is she calling death an STI? I think that's almost profound."

"Fucked if I know," a decidedly male Irish brogue replies. I turn to look at the Priest. "Sounds like a load of wank to me."

"That's Godmother in a nutshell," I agree and he laughs appreciatively.

"I'm not sure how those fungi will survive inside a sealed perspex coffin. Don't they need air?"

"Fucked if I know," I echo him with a shrug. "Still prefer funerals to weddings?"

"Generally, yes. You know I believe that we're going somewhere wonderful in the next life. This funeral has given me pause though."

"It's a bit much, isn't it?" I'm not quite sure what to say next, the thing I desperately want to say feels wildly inappropriate.

"I'm not Catholic anymore." I’m surprised by how direct he's been. "I just thought I'd put it out there. Although that now sounds like an awful chat up line, which it's not - "

"Well fuck you then," I say, trying to brush off the hurt of that decisive shutting down of my half-formed hopes.

"If you insist." There's a twinkle in his eye now. Maybe I've misread things.

"Are you propositioning me, Father?"

"You know, I think I might be."

"Mum! Mu-um!"

Of course, of fucking course, kids are the ultimate cock block. The Priest looks awkward, I probably do too. I swear he's trying to surreptitiously look at my ring finger so I use my hands in a way that probably resembles a muppet to show off how attached I'm not.

"Everything OK, darling?"

"Dad's here to take me to his place, says he's not comfortable leaving without speaking to you first." Daughter rolls her eyes. I wish I could do the same.

My ex is so considerate. What a prick.

"Sorry, Father, I have to go talk to my Ex." Had to get in that confirmation of my relationship status, just so he has all the facts. "We'll talk when I get back?"

"I'll be waiting," he says with a smile.

It takes longer than I'm totally happy with to wrap things up with my Ex. Unfortunately he's busy being concerned about my dad and asking practical questions about homework and after school clubs and I can't exactly tell him that I'm a bit busy seducing a Priest to talk.

It takes me a while to track him down when I finally escape, but I find him hiding and having a fag in the same secret corner where we once shared stolen kisses. Honestly I can't decide if it's romantic or a little pathetic that we're back here and history's potentially going to repeat itself.

Hopefully not to the same bitter conclusion.

I pull out my own fag and the Priest offers me a light. Leaning close to his hands I feel the same rush of anticipation I did back then, my heart fluttering at his presence like no time has passed at all.

"So," he starts, then breaks off.

"So," I agree with a nod. "I'm a mum - a single mum, and you're a hopefully single, no longer celibate man."

"I am."

There's a long silence that's almost deafening with its intensity.

"So what made you -" "I'm sorry I didn't -"

We both start speaking at once, stop and stare at each other for a minute then I gesture for him to speak.

"I'm sorry I didn't leave for you," he says, then looks me right in the eye. "I hope you know that it's not that I didn't love you, I just, I needed time to figure things out."

"I know. I knew that then too. So what did make you convert in the end?"

"The sex. I was really, really gagging for it," he deadpans. I snort with laughter, he waits for me to calm down before he carries on. "Honestly it did start with meeting you -”

“Me and my blasphemous tits.”

“Yeah.” He smirks at me, then looks a little sad. “I felt lost after we stopped - after I ended things.” He shakes his head and looks at me, swallowing a lump in his throat. “I was so lonely when we met and you came into my life and we just connected so deeply and I fell so hard for you.”

Oh fuck, I am not prepared for this conversation.

“No, don’t disappear, not now.” He takes my hand and waits for me to focus on him, so I try my best to fight against how overwhelmed I feel and to stay in the moment with him.

“I know that you don’t believe what I do, but I really do believe that God is love. 'Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.' That's what the Bible says. It just didn’t make sense to me that I could be so full of love and that that was a bad thing, something to be ashamed of. Isn’t love meant to be a wonderful gift from God?”

I can feel the tightness in my jaw, a prickle of tears, I seem to have forgotten how to breathe.

“As time went on the intensity of my love for you faded, but that seed of doubt was planted. Not in God, not in Him, but in the word of the Catholic church. A different denomination of Christianity would allow me to marry you, to celebrate our love, there’s nothing in the bible to say that we shouldn’t.”

These words hang heavy between us and there’s a long pause, while he takes a long drag on his cigarette and lets the smoke slowly drift out of his parted lips.

“Over time I noticed more and more of these inconsistencies and one day a teenage boy asked me for forgiveness for falling in love with his male best friend and I just couldn’t … I couldn’t understand why he needed it. I couldn’t in all good faith follow the teachings of the Catholic church and stay true to what I believe.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“You wanted to marry me? It'll take more than that to make an honest woman of me."

He chuckles. “I don’t know. If we could've dated and my feelings stayed as they were? Maybe. I wanted the option.”

"When did you leave?"

"Four years ago."

"Did you -" oh wow, it's so hard to ask this, but I need to know. "Did you ever think of telling me?"

"No."

Fuck me that hurts. I drop my cigarette to the floor, study it as I stomp down on it to make sure that the fire is out. It’s my way of deflecting from the sudden urge to cry. He gently lifts my chin with his finger, bringing my face up to look at his.

"I knew you were married. Your stepmum said."

"Was she a dick about it?"

"Of course. Still, you were unavailable. What good would telling you have done?" He's right. I was still married when he converted, it was for the best.

"I saw you once with him. Or I think it was him."

"Am I detecting a smidge of jealousy there, Father?"

"Oh fuck off.” He didn’t deny it. “A parishioner had died and I just, I really needed a friend and I thought of you. You just got me so well, you know? I went to Hillarys and you were there in the arms of this man and you looked so happy that I just couldn't ruin that for you. I shouldn't have gone. Not when I didn't know if I could trust myself around you."

"And what about now?"

"Well I'm allowed to kiss you now, I don't need to worry about trusting myself."

"That's true. So do you want to come over to my place for a friendly game of strip poker?" He laughs at me, shaking his head while smirking. "Spin the bottle?" That devilish gleam appears in his eyes. "Seven minutes in heaven - or is that considered blasphe -"

He cuts me off with his lips on mine.

It’s everything I remembered and so much more. Intense, passionate, devastating kisses that drive me to cliches straight out of a romance novel. Pushed up against that wall my heart races, my chest heaves, and, yes, my knickers get fucking wet.

It feels just like it did 15 years ago. It feels like love. And that’s insane, we had barely even started when things ended between us and I’ve lived and loved so much since then. But this thing between us? It just feels right.

My body is on fire, I’m pretty sure it’s in the good, aroused way and not because God’s smiting me for defiling a priest. He’s a tad late to the punishment, if that was His plan. But I’ll happily let this fire consume me because it feels so good. After all this time, I never want what we’re sharing to end. But the need to breathe becomes too strong and we break apart, noses nuzzling and foreheads resting together.

“Can I take you to dinner tonight?” he asks but I’m so staggered by our kisses I barely hear what he’s said.

“What?” I breathe out in between pants.

“Let me take you to dinner tonight,” he says, stroking my cheek before leaning in for another dizzying kiss.

"Oh, I don't know," I pretend to be thinking hard. "Sounds a bit tame, I did have plans with a rabbi for a good hard fuck."

He barks out a laugh. "Oh really?"

"Yeah and tomorrow's my night getting spanked by an imam."

He raises his eyebrows holding back a laugh at what I'm saying and playing along. "What about Friday?"

"Threesome with a pujari and a Buddhist monk."

"What if I upgraded my offer to dinner and if you're really good you get dessert?" He ran his tongue along his lips.

"And what if I'm really bad?"

"You'll have to get on your knees and pray for forgiveness."

It's ridiculous how easily this man can turn me on. Although I have kneeled for him before, I remember the effect.

"I could be tempted to agree," I say, affecting disinterest.

"But you'll have to dump your harem of religious leaders," he all but growls.

"Oh I don't -"

He slams his mouth into mine, pushing me back against the wall, cutting me off with a fierce kiss. He trails his lips along my jaw to my ear. "Please," he murmurs, then kisses down my neck and pushes my collar to one side to suck and lick where it meets my shoulder. That fire starts up inside me again, his mouth almost painfully good against me, driving me to the brink of madness until I'm half tempted to push his trousers down and fuck him against the wall where anyone could see.

“OK,” I pant. "I - I guess I can do that."

"Good girl," he growls into my ear, then pulls away, righting my collar as he does, to hide the bruise he's surely worked into my skin. “We should probably get back before they start looking for us.”

And he steps back from me, innocent smirk on his face.

"I'm going to make you pay for that," I say, trying to sound commanding, although I'm so breathless that the effect is lost.

"Oh please do," he says with a grin.

We head back towards the party and one important thing occurs to me. “If you’re Anglican now, why did you do Godmother’s funeral? Isn't she Catholic?”

“You may find this hard to believe, but I don’t think she was really all that interested in the religious side of being a Catholic.”

“Oh yes, she wanted one of those religion-free faiths.”

“Exactly. She may have intimated to me that she would very much like for me to conduct her funeral when her time came because her funeral should be a thing of beauty.”

I snort with laughter. “I didn’t realise it was possible to be vain from beyond the grave, but if anyone was going to find a way it was her.”

“You won’t hear me complaining - she brought me back to you.”

“She finally did right by me, she’ll be so disappointed.”

[patience-hope-strength-courage]

Grief - 27/12/2020

Sadly something we all go through at different times in our lives. It looks and feels different for everyone. Each persons situation is different.

Grief can be when someone dies or when someone walks out of your life but they’re still alive. You still grieve that loss because they’re no longer in your life.

I cannot comment on other people’s experiences of grief because I obviously can’t say how anyone else feels and it wouldn’t be my place to. I can only speak from my own experiences so this post is going to be about my life and the grief I’ve experienced.

Death

A pretty scary word and such a final one too. My mum sadly died when I was 6 years old so over 20 years ago but it definitely left me with some emotional struggles as I got older and when I was a teenager. My Granny (who I actually lived with as a baby / young child) died when I was 11 and then when I was 19 we lost my Dad very suddenly.

People have gone through far worse than I have and struggled with grief more than I could ever imagine and my heart goes out to those people. I know how consuming and dark grief can feel at times.

When I lost my mum I was obviously very young so whilst I remember her being poorly through my childhood I don’t remember a great deal. I remember my Dad telling me she’d died very clearly and I can still picture where I was sat on his lap as he told me, but I cannot remember the days that followed or how I really felt. I do remember telling my teacher at school about it. I guess as a child I was quite matter of fact about it and got on with life, which isn’t a bad thing. I later found out as a teenager that my mum had been battling Anorexia amongst other health difficulties and sadly in the end her body couldn’t fight any longer.

My Granny then sadly died when I was 11 after a short battle with Breast Cancer. I remember this time quite clearly and whilst my Granny was probably the most important person to me growing up her death felt peaceful still. It’s hard to explain, it completely broke my heart losing her but there were no complicated emotions attached to it if that makes any sense. With my Mum there were so many questions and what ifs and the fact I didn’t really remember her was always hard to come to terms with.

When I was 19 my Dad died from a Heart Attack very suddenly. My whole world felt like it stopped in that moment, I remember it like it was yesterday even though it’s been nearly 10 years now. The shock of his death was something I could never have prepared for, obviously hence the shock but it was like everything jusy stopped and went silent in the moment I was told he was gone. Initially I was told he’d collapsed and paramedics were there. Then when I was on the way to where he was we were informed that the air ambulance was also there. Strangely as I sat in the back of my Auntie’s car as she drove us to him I still pictured him sat on a chair with a paramedic checking on him and giving him water. Sadly my visions were not what greeted us. One of my Dad’s close friend took my hand when we arrived at the place he was and took me to my step mum who was inside the building. I knew from the look on people’s faces before she said the words “he’s gone Max”. We hugged and cried and I remember squeezing my Dad’s friends’ hand tighter. Then after moments passed I stopped and said out loud “no it’s going to be okay, it’ll be okay”. Of course it wasn’t okay but I needed to find some kind of strength in that moment. We said goodbye to him in the ambulance, and although doing that broke my heart in more ways than I knew possible it was also peaceful, he looked as if he was asleep and I told him I loved him. The ambulance drove away and he was just gone. Emptiness is what I felt after that for a while. Then all the different emotions that come at different stages of grief.

Maybe I’ll write a more detailed post about each of the losses, not because anyone who probably care to read it but writing is incredibly therapeutic for me and if in doing so I can maybe reach one other person going through something similar then that would be great too. I’d just like others to know their grief is important and there is no right or wrong way to feel in those times because you can’t control your response to such difficult moments. Grief is huge and can be like a tsunami of emotions sometimes. I often felt alone in my grief, despite having such incredible supportive people around me, I still felt lost in it at times.

Guilt

Anger

Pain

Numbness

Sadness

Lonely

Scared

Tearful

Anxious

Afraid

Nostalgic

Helpless

Loss of Control

Just some of the emotions I’ve felt during grief at different points in my life. Now it’s nearly 10 years since I lost my Dad I’ve definitely come to terms with a lot I’ve been through, but it’s still tough. I rarely cry but I have conflicted emotions and down times when it just hurts a little bit to remember those who aren’t here. And that’s okay, it doesn’t matter how long it’s been it’s always okay to still be sad sometimes and equally it’s okay to not feel sad too. I’ve had times when I’ve just been getting on with life and then I’ll almost make myself feel guilty for not being a bit sad or remembering my Dad more. I think the 10 year mark might hit me a bit harder than the past few years just because for some reason the number feels bigger or stands out more.

Your feelings are yours and when it comes to grief no one can tell you or predict how you might react or feel. Try to be kind to yourself, something I still have to remind myself at times. My words here will never do justice to the grief some people are going through, some I know too going through the most heartbreaking losses and nothing I can say can change that but just acknowledging that you’re thinking of them is important. It’s always meant so much to me to know people are thinking of me or just there if I need them.

I don’t always like to talk about my feelings because I don’t want to be seen as weak or vulnerable or worse have my feeling invalidated so it’s often easier to deal with them myself or with those very close to me. I think sometimes without meaning to people forget that grief doesn’t disappear after a few months or years, when you lose someone you’ll grieve them forevermore. That doesn’t mean you feel the same way you did the day you lost them (however if you do that is also okay) but just because you’re able to get on with life and enjoy things again doesn’t mean your grief has stopped.

For me, I will grieve the family I’ve lost for the rest of my life. I will enjoy life and feel happy but I will never forget them and will keep them in my thoughts too. How I feel when I think of my Dad now nearly 10 years on is a far cry from how I felt in the months / first years after we lost him. I’m still grieving though because there won’t be a day that I don’t wish he could still be here with us. I don’t know if that makes sense but for me I don’t really feel like grief ends. It’s got less painful as time has moved on, which sadly I know for some it doesn’t. Depending on who you’ve lost and the circumstances too I know there will be people out there who’s pain never goes and I can’t imagine how hard that must be. I just hope they have people to support and listen to them when they need.

I feel incredibly lucky for the people I do have in my life and I know too well how short life is and how it can change in the blink of an eye and that will always scare me but I try my best to just enjoy it as best I can and not think too much about that. Sometimes it’s hard though because I sometimes get this awful feeling in my chest like something bad is going to happen and it terrifies me. I’m so scared of going through more grief even though I know I can get through it, just knowing how it’s felt before and how hard it can be to get through.

Unfortunately we don’t know what the future holds so despite my anxious nature and worries about what might or could happen I try my very best to just enjoy the now and be in the present. Something I’ve always struggled with because I spend a lot of time reliving the past or being fearful of the future.

The present is here now, we can’t change the past or control the future so try to live in the moment when you can.

Despite the pain and grief me and my family have been through. I truly believe life is beautiful and there’s so much to explore. Despite being a naturally anxious person I try my best to make the most of every day even though it’s usually doing simpler things, they mean a lot to me.

Time to sleep and rest now and send my thoughts out into the night and remember the family who are now stars in the sky. Losing you has helped me find strength I never knew I had and become the person I am today.

Goodnight World.

[oumiyuki]

The Daily Life of Loving a Really Cute but Dense Vampire Ch8

Apologies And Just A Normal Evening

May you enjoy~ XD

“I am very sorry for sneaking out of the house at night and worrying you, mum, dad, Yukiho!” Honoka was on the ground, her knees and head touching the ground as she apologized to her family.

Honoka’s dad grunted his acceptance of Honoka’s apology, his eyes glistening with tears he was holding back. Yukiho again was conflicted, she wanted to shout at her older sister, but also wanted to run over and hug her as an affirmation that she is really alright. Honoka’s mum already got informed that her eldest daughter was safe and sound the moment Umi found Honoka, but still really wanted to just rush over and hug that daughter of hers; so she did.

“Honoka! I’m so relieved that you’re safe and okay!” Honoka’s mum went onto her knees and pulled her daughter into a tight hug with tears falling like a waterfall from her eyes.

“M-Mum…! I’m really sorry for worrying you…I really am!” Honoka was crying too as she sniffled into her mother’s chest.

“It’s okay now, you’re okay now…” Honoka’s mum patted Honoka’s head firmly as she held Honoka’s quivering back.

“O-Onee-chan!” Yukiho gave in and rushed to the embracing pair to wrap her arms around her older sister too.

“Yukiho..!” Honoka moved her face from her mum’s chest to put it on her sister’s shoulder as they shared sobs. “I’m sorry for worrying you too!”

“I wasn’t worried at all!” Yukiho held her older sister tightly, as her tears rolled down her cheeks.

“We were all worried.” Honoka’s dad engulfed his entire family in his arms.

“I-I’m really sorry…”

The entire Kousaka family was sharing a precious moment, while Umi and Maki stood with gentle smiles as they over watched this little heart-warming scene.

“I’m sorry for worrying you too, Umi-chan, Maki-chan.” Honoka got released from her family’s embrace and turned to give her apology to her childhood friends, no doubt that they worried and helped to look for her.

“With your sincere apology to your parents, you’re forgiven.” Umi smiled.

“I-It can’t be helped that you’ll worry us…Just…don’t worry us so much, Honoka.” Maki crossed her arms and looked away, though the smile did not fade.

“Mmph! Thank you for your understanding! Everyone. I know I’m such a handful, but…I don’t worry you guys on purpose…” Honoka had a thoughtful frown.

“We know, now go to the bath and get cleaned, Honoka.” Honoka’s mum spoke softly as she pulled her daughter to her feet.

“O-Okay!” Honoka made eye contact with Umi and Maki and they nodded. Honoka zoomed off to her room while Umi and Maki will head to her room after.

Honoka’s father had his arms around his wife’s shoulders caringly, while she cleared the remaining tears around her eyes. “Thank you for finding Honoka and bringing her back safely…Umi-chan, Maki-chan.”

“We’d do it as many times needed, Honoka-mama.” Umi gave a reassuring smile, which Honoka’s mum returned with an appreciative one.

“Well, Honoka is sure to find ways to worry us even if she didn’t want to.” Maki had a wry smile, while Honoka’s mum chuckled.

“Yes…That is true…”

“Onee-chan is always causing us so much trouble.” Yukiho had her arms crossed with a frown.

“But you can’t leave her alone anyway.” Maki raised her eyebrow before commenting.

“Wha- I- I so can leave her alone! She’s way too much trouble than benefit!” Yukiho hid her blush behind her hand as she went up to her room, zooming away as her sister did.

Umi chuckled. “Teasing the younger sister because you can’t with the older one?” Umi smirked.

Maki’s eyebrow shot higher. “What?! I so can!” Maki’s cheeks glowed as she crossed her arms and looked away from Umi.

“And they really are similar to each other.” Umi returned her gaze to the stairs that both sisters ran up to.

“They are sisters.” Honoka’s mum reminded with a smile.

“At least there are differences…” Umi furrowed her eyebrows as she imagined having to handle two Honoka; that was mortifying.

“Are you two going to wait for Honoka?”

“Yeah, we are.” Maki answered.

“Would you like some snacks?” Honoka’s mum offered.

“I’m alright.” Maki looked to Umi who still had a dreadful expression from her earlier thought.

“N-No…We are fine without.” Umi smiled and nodded. “Thank you for the offer.”

“Alright then.” Honoka’s mum nodded, while Umi and Maki made their way up to Honoka’s room.

  In Honoka’s room, Maki and Umi made themselves comfortable and not long after, Honoka returned to her room dressed in her pyjamas.

“Are you wearing the same thing you wore yesterday?” Maki had a wry smile as she commented.

“Honoka…” Umi looked at Honoka pitifully.

“What? No! I changed into a new one! The old one is still in my bag! Plus, this is a darker shade of pink!” Honoka had a bright tint of red across her cheeks at being accused for wearing the same pyjamas she did last night. Even Honoka would not wear the same clothing that went through so much again if she could change into a fresh, clean pair.  

Maki chuckled. “See, Umi. I can tease the older one just fine.” Maki smirked.

“You were trying to prove yourself? It’s not like I did not believe you.” Umi had her own smug smile as she countered, which made Maki frown.

“Wait? What are you talking about?” Honoka couldn’t keep up or catch on to what her two childhood friends were conversing about.

“It’s nothing.” Maki crossed her arms and looked away with an indignant frown; unhappy that she played right into Umi’s hand. Umi chuckled, amused at Maki’s loss and Honoka’s cluelessness.

“Nothing that doesn’t not concern you, but I’m sure you won’t understand anytime soon, so…” Umi had a wry smile though her eyes held slight sadness, seeing Honoka so clueless to things around her…especially those that revolves around her, Umi sighed internally.

Maki turned back, as though she sensed Umi’s dilemma. “So, Honoka, are you going to tell us about your night?”

Honoka faced Maki with earnest blue eyes, finally included in the conversation. “Um…I told you in the nurse office earlier..?” Honoka had a half smile, hoping to get away with not telling the entire story again.

“Well, I haven’t heard it.” Umi pointed out.

“Ah…” Honoka tried stalling.

“What you told me wasn’t the full story anyway. What’s this about meeting Hoshizora?” Maki had a lopsided smile; interested in knowing of Honoka’s adventure, but more entertained by Honoka’s guilt-stricken and nervous behaviour.

Honoka fidgeted from where she sat on her room’s floor and gulped.

“Give it up, Honoka. You’re not getting away with not telling us.” Maki leaned backwards on the bed, showing that she’s making herself comfortable for the bedtime story.

Honoka looked to Umi who was sitting with all the attention needed to be given to a Presidential Speech, though her eyes felt like it could shoot laser beams at the speaker if a wrong word was uttered. Honoka swallowed.

“Ma…Maki-chan!” Honoka suddenly shouted which made Maki raised her eyebrows. “It’s Rin-chan, not ‘Hoshizora’.” Honoka had a serious face as she caught Maki’s eyes.

“Wh-Why do I have to?” Maki averted her gaze, staring long into those mesmerizing blue orbs tend to let Honoka get what she want from Maki.

“Because we’re all friends. And friends shouldn’t address each other like we’re strangers.” Honoka nodded with a smile, Maki refused to make eye contact with Honoka.

Umi who was watching decided to step in, else the Stare and Avoid might continue for a good hour just because Honoka was that kind of perseverant idiot, and Maki actually liked the attention from Honoka, even if she won’t admit it.

“If Maki addresses Hoshizora-san by her first name, you start telling about your night?”

Maki immediately gave Umi a look that says who are you to decide for me, while Honoka wanted to protest about Umi’s terms and conditions, but decided to make things more in her favour.

“If Umi-chan call Rin-chan, ‘Rin-chan’ too.” Honoka smiled in anticipation, looking back and forth between her childhood friends.

Umi sighed and looked over to the redhead who took in how serious Umi was, rolled her eyes and, “R-Rin. Happy now?” Maki looked away with a slight blush.

“Rin.” Umi followed and looked to Honoka for her turn to do her part.  

Honoka had a satisfied smile before starting. “Well…After leaving Maki-chan’s room, I flew around admiring the night sky. You know? The moon and stars were really beautiful with the soft breeze-”

“Even so.” Umi had a form of finality in her tone.

Honoka pouted at Umi, but she did not falter. “And I happened to hear Rin-chan’s voice, so I decided to pay a visit.” Honoka had a happy grin at the memory of chatting with Rin, it was relatively one-sided but fun nonetheless.

Umi frowned. “And you decided that talking to a human, when you’re a bat would make sense.”

“Well…” Honoka moved a hand behind her neck.

“Plus, do humanly actions like such as a bat.” Umi was glaring at this point of time.

“Eh?” Honoka blinked then realized her hand was at her neck. “Um…Heh, heh…” Honoka laughed nervously. “I wasn’t thinking when I did that…I kind of forgot I was flying. Funny how that works right? I mean I was putting a lot of effort to stay up!” Honoka had a nervous smile, hoping to lighten the mood and make Umi less angry.

Umi shook her head. “I’ve said it time and time again, but Honoka, please be more careful in not exposing your identity. You don’t want to get caught in the fray of cold-blooded struggles and inhumane or invampire for this matter.”

“I thought we were the abnormal ones…” Honoka muttered with a small pout.

“Honoka.”

“I know, I know. We could just outsmart them or run away like- Um…like maybe someone who did that before that wasn’t me…” Honoka was really bad at lying or covering up her mistakes, but luckily for her Umi and Maki did not notice that Honoka was trying to hide something.

“I rather not bet on being able to outwit them or even outrun them. Prevention is better than cure, ever heard of that?” Umi continued her reprimanding.

Honoka pouted. “No…”

“It means…” Umi continued her preaching while Maki decided to cut in, she already heard this lesson at least a thousand times thanks to Honoka.

“Honoka, are you hungry? You didn’t eat all day after all.”

Honoka who was duly listening to Umi with her head down turned to face Maki at the word ‘hungry’.

“Mm-hm!” Honoka nodded quickly. “Not really hungry, but more of want something to bite!” Honoka thought about her hunger for a moment. Vampires don’t get the stomach grumbling hunger that humans get easily; it’d take at least a month or more before they start getting hungry and needing to intake a sufficient amount of blood to satiate that hunger.

“I figured you be hungry, here.” Maki got off the bed and went to her bag to throw something to Honoka.

Honoka caught it with ease and her eyes lit up. “Strawberry jam bread?! Maki-chan, thank you! You’re the best!” Honoka threw herself into Maki for a hug, though she miscalculated the force and got Maki flying onto her bed; thankfully onto the bed and not crashing into the wall.

“Oof- H-Honoka…You’re welcome but don’t do that…See what I mean by you don’t have enough control?” Maki was bright red at the contact but pushed lightly at Honoka for her to move away.

“Ehehe…” Honoka got off Maki. “Sorry about that…It kind of happens when I’m excited…”

“J-Just eat your bread…” Maki got into a proper sitting position.

“Honoka, are you even listening to me?” Umi looked over to see Honoka with a mouthful of bread as she cocked her head to the side to question Umi with a puzzled look. She almost looked like a small animal with those innocent blue and harmless eating posture…Umi recovered herself. “Why are you?” Umi sighed. “Nevermind…” Umi understood that Honoka needed her daily snacks; she sometimes can’t help but crave for Homura’s blood manjuus after all.

“Ah!” Honoka stopped munching as her eyes light up with something also known as a spark of inspiration.

Umi and Maki looked over with hesitation, wondering what idea Honoka might have this time.

“I wonder what strawberry jam bread will taste like with blood on it!” Honoka got to her feet.

“Wait, Honoka-” If Umi wanted to stop her reckless childhood friend from executing her spontaneous and ridiculous idea, she should have rushed out of the room with her, but she didn’t and Honoka was back in the room smearing a pack of blood onto her half eaten bread already.

“You’re seriously going to eat that?” Maki raised her eyebrows; she didn’t understand Honoka’s obsession with bread, neither did she understand the liking for blood. But she’s not vampire so it makes sense, and Honoka’s obsession with strawberry jam bread is something else too.

“Let’s dig in~!” Honoka called and chowed down before Umi could interject again as she was distracted by the weird creation Honoka just created. After swallowing her first bite, “Ack…I…” Honoka’s expression and tongue was stuck. How do they describe the taste?

Umi and Maki shook their heads and the blue haired girl took the bread out of Honoka’s hands. “I knew it wouldn’t be a good idea.”

Maki picked up the empty blood packet to pass it Umi for disposing. “C’mon, this isn’t exactly cheap or easy to obtain, Honoka. Since O- is relatively rare and donations are few.”

Maki and her entire family is willing to supply Homura with the amount of O- blood they needed regardless of price, but Honoka’s father insisted on paying ,so naturally the amount the shop had was limited too. And yet, their eldest daughter who loves it, decides to waste some on bread.

Honoka furrowed her eyebrows in thought. “I couldn’t tell if it was sweet or not…Strawberry jam is supposed to be sweet…but adding the blood made it…Confusing.” Honoka pouted.

“Well, don’t look at me. I don’t understand what you like about blood or the bread.”

Umi returned to Honoka’s room after disposing of the weird creation Honoka made minutes ago.

“How did it taste?”

“I did not try it.” Umi frowned while Maki smirked. “I’m not into risking my life.”

“It’s not poisonous!” Honoka puffed out her cheeks, which both Umi and Maki thought was really cute, but did not say anything.

“Mixing random things leads to an unknown which could be poisonous, Honoka.” Umi took a seat adjacent to Honoka on the floor.

“And we at the Nishikino Hospital are constantly creating poison.” Maki had a bemused smile as she look to Umi, seemingly asking her blue haired friend to pick up the challenge. Umi frowned.

“Your family are experimenting to create better products to aid us vampires in integrating into Human society easier. Such as the vampire sunscreen-”

“Maki-chan SP60!” Honoka pumped her fist excitedly into the air.

“No-Burn, which allows us to be under the sun.” Umi had a small smile as she felt respect for the Nishikino Family’s contributions and efforts.

Maki also had a soft expression and a growing feeling of pride at Umi’s praises for her family’s achievements.

“I love Maki-chan’s family too!” Honoka inserted her input once more.

Maki’s cheeks light up in a soft shade of red even though she knows that Honoka is not referring to her.

“These sunscreens are amazing! Though the effect varies from vampire to vampire…” Honoka pouted a little.

“That’s right. So make sure you don’t stand under the eleven to three pm sun.”

“It’s twelve to two pm, Umi-chan.” Honoka corrected.

“The additional hour is just in case, Honoka.”

“Hours…Why can’t I just apply more?”

“Because it doesn’t work that way. You tried it before remember?” Umi glared sternly at Honoka. She really did not want Honoka attempting more sunscreen only to get hurt again.

“The burn took a while to recover too, even if it was mild burn. You should listen to Umi, Honoka. We don’t want you hurt…Well, your parents wouldn’t want that…” Maki looked away, blushing.

Honoka smiled and went over to hug Maki. “Thanks for caring. I won’t try that again, Maki-chan.” Honoka rubbed her cheeks against Maki’s.

“W-Who’s caring? Geez…Stop hugging me, Honoka. It’s hot…” Honoka held on a bit longer before sitting back down.

Umi smiled at the scene, glad that Honoka agreed to not try applying a double amount of sunscreen on herself which only made her clothes stick to her in an uncomfortable manner and return red from head to toes. Sunburn just from thirty minutes of walking under the afternoon sun was no joke.

“Oh~ I also heard Umi-chan’s voice last night~” Honoka had a playful smile as she look to Umi who suddenly felt very self-conscious.

“Umi’s voice?” Maki was curious too.

“Yup! I got lost after…” Honoka stopped herself in time before she mentioned helping a woman from getting caught by a Cold Vampire; she really did not want to worry her friends more than she already has. “Um, I got lost, so I was wondering how to get back home. That’s when I heard Umi-chan’s voice.” Honoka furrowed her eyebrows. “I thought I could follow Umi-chan’s voice home…but she stopped talking halfway.” Honoka pouted at Umi.

“Well…It’s not like I knew you were trying to follow my voice.” Umi looked away.

“What was Umi saying?” Maki took the chance to poke fun at the blue haired archer who was leaving herself open.

“We don’t have to-”

“Well, Umi-chan was saying something about me eating bread…Really, you should stop speaking ill of my bread like it’s a bad thing. You eat lots of manjuu too, Umi-chan!” Honoka felt unfairness for her bread and decided to stand up for them. Maki chuckled at this, looking at the vampires she know, it’s like each vampire tend to have a certain food they are hooked to other than their mandatory blood.

“What? It’s different. Your family makes those manjuu, you should be proud of it.” Umi countered.

“Eh?” Honoka blinked. “So if I opened a bread store and bake them I can eat all I want?”

“I…” Umi sighed; trying to understand and then unravel Honoka’s logic is taxing on the mind. Glancing at the clock on Honoka’s side table, “It’s getting quite late. I’ll walk Maki back.”

Maki checked the time. “Time sure went by fast.”

“That’s because we had fun chatting together~” Honoka rocked from side to side like a child with a grin, which Umi and Maki couldn’t help but smile at.

“Well, we’ll head home first then.” Umi headed for the exit.

“See you~ I could walk Maki-chan instead?”

“You will stay home and out of trouble.” Umi gave a stern look to Honoka though she had a small smile, plus her tone was not as strict.

“You do that, Honoka.” Maki was beside Umi now.

“Boo…But I understand.” Honoka followed behind to see them out the door.

“Oh.” Umi turned back after they stepped out the house. “Honoka, don’t forget that we’re going hunting next week, okay? It’s a Wednesday.”

“Okay~” Honoka yawned her reply, it has been a long night and day after all. “Why can’t blood bags or strawberry jam breads be enough to keep us full anyway…”

“Because they don’t have enough nutrients for us, and so does not meet our needs or satisfy us…We’ve been through this before, Honoka.” Umi answered patiently.

“Mm…” Honoka stifled a yawn with one hand. “Bye bye, Umi-chan…Maki-chan…”

“Rest well.” Umi turned after one last look at the sleepy ginger.

“Bye.” Maki stared a second longer before walking with Umi.

Honoka yawned again before closing the door and trudging her way back to her room, a rare time she did not just speed her way up.   

Back in her room, she looked up groggily to see that there was someone else. “Mm?”

“Onee-chan…Could I sleep with you tonight?” A redhead, though not the one that loves to twirl her hair when embarrassed or would love to sleep with said older sister too was sitting on Honoka’s bed hugging her pillow.

Honoka’s tired face changed into a smiling one. “If you’re worried I’ll sneak out again, I can assure you I won’t. I’m exhausted~” Honoka switched off the lights and climbed onto her bed, the windows were already closed by her sister so she didn’t had to check that.

Yukiho frowned slightly. “No, I’m not worried about that…Maybe a little, but I’m not.”

Honoka chuckled. “Well, come here. I can’t say good night to you if you don’t hurry…” Honoka’s eyes were ready to stay shut any second now.

Yukiho smiled and placed her pillow beside her sister’s. “Good night, Onee-chan.”

“Good night…Yukiho…” Honoka snuggled into her pillow while Yukiho pulled the blanket over the both of them.

“I’m not worried…really…I’m just making sure…” Yukiho whispered into the silent room as sleep took her too.

 “Will it come? Will it come, nya?” Rin was leaning out her window, shaking her behind enthusiastically as she waited for the bat of last night that she met to come by again. She really wanted to make friends with the bat.

“Mm~ Rin wonder what bats eat, nya. Then Rin could leave some food on the window sill to show that I’m friendly, nya.” Rin had a thinking face on as she crossed her arms across her chest.

“Ah, but we were chatting already so doesn’t that mean it knows I’m friendly…nya?” Rin cocked her head to the side.

“Mm…I know! Maybe the bat might not know which floor Rin lives on! So Rin just have to make a sign or something…to let the bat know it’s this room! I’m a genius, nya!” Rin praised herself as she skipped to her table.

Empty.

She skipped to her shelf.

Empty.

“Nya! Rin does not have materials to make a sign, nya!” Rin just found out that her room was lacking of crafting materials.

“Rin! You’re being loud, go to bed already!”

“Nya?! S-Sorry, mum!” Rin clamped her hands to her mouth.

“Maybe Rin will go buy something this weekend nya..?” Rin hopped to the switch and turned the lights off. “Rin will think about it while sleeping nya…” Rin curled into her bed and slept.

  In the Rice-loving household, Hanayo was sticking around her mother like the moon to the Earth, her mum chuckled.

“What is it, Hanayo? You want to tell me something?”

“Ah! H-How did you know, mum..?” Hanayo was honestly surprised that her mum knew that she wanted to share about school.

Hanayo’s mum smiled and put a hand to her hip. “Because I’m your mother. Mother always knows.” Her mum winked playfully. “Now, be a good girl and bring this bowls of rice to the table, we can talk while we eat.”

“Okay, mum!” Hanayo’s eyes light up at the sight of the steamy rice and was even more excited to share the news with her mum.

At the dining table, Hanayo and her mum poured some blood onto their rice and echoed together, “Let’s eat~”

After a few scoops of rice, “So, what did you want to tell me, Hanayo?”

“Ah, mum…You won’t believe this, but…I made another friend in school today.” Hanayo swallowed her rice and was smiling broadly, this made her mum feel a sense of pride that her little girl was growing up and making more friends.

“That’s great. Friends other than Rin-chan, Honoka-chan and Nozomi-chan?”

Hanayo gave a small nod. She told her mum everything, so her mum knew who she made friends with, or how many friends she actually had.

“So who is it this time?” Hanayo’s mum was very interested to find out who is this new friend of her daughter’s.

“D-Don’t be too surprised but…She’s a vampire too.” Hanayo whispered the second part.

“Is that so?” Hanayo’s mum was intrigued, another vampire friend in just one day?

“Mm-hm.” Hanayo nodded excitedly. “Nico-chan is Nozomi-chan’s friend. And…she said she’ll be my friend too…” Hanayo smiled with her chopsticks in her mouth.

“That’s so sweet of her. Nico-chan…the class’s idol you mentioned before?” Hanayo’s mum asked as she remembered a Nico-chan that her daughter once mentioned.

“Ah, mmph…That’s right. Nico-chan is very outspoken and nice…I wish I can be more confident like her…” Hanayo looked down slightly, thinking that she’s daring too much to wish to be as confident as her new friend, Nico.

Hanayo’s mum smiled. “You can be more confident has long as you try, Hanayo. Perhaps I can meet Nico-chan or Honoka-chan someday, hm?” Hanayo’s mum tried to give the push Hanayo need, giving her a reason to invite her friends to her house.

“Ah…Hopefully…” Hanayo turned slightly red at the thought of inviting people other than Rin to her house to play. And even then, it’s usually Rin inviting herself over.

They continued their dinner with smiles and happy chatter about school and about the weekend to come.

  Inside another room, a few roads away from the now sleeping gingerhead, a certain ash-grey haired girl was sitting on her chair by her study desk. A pencil poking her cheek as she stared at her empty sketchbook.

“Mm… I should take Honoka-chan’s advice and make use of my weekend, but…I don’t have much inspiration…”

A while back, after Kotori was done with her bath, she looked out to the stars thinking of her crush, and said crush came as a shooting star to help her out.

“Honoka-chan…I feel like I’ll miss you a lot on days I don’t get to see you…” Kotori admitted as she stared up at the starry skies with the ginger-haired girl.

The ginger-haired girl tilted her head slightly to give Kotori a lopsided smile as she intertwined their hands, giving a light squeeze of reassurance. “Kotori-chan, I’ll miss you too. But you should use the time when we’re apart to do something you like.”

“Something I like?” Kotori returned the smile.

“Mm-hm. You said you draw right? Draw something for me~” Honoka nodded to the stars. “If it’s rea~lly nice, I’ll reward you.” Honoka winked which made Kotori’s heart skip a beat, and the red on her face redder.

“Mmph…Okay. I’ll draw something that will make Honoka-chan so amazed; you’ll give me a reward!” Kotori squeezed Honoka’s hand, while they both laughed.

After that little conversation with Honoka in her head thanks to a shooting star she saw, Kotori was now trying to draw something that could amaze the ginger, but alas she wasn’t sure of what she could draw.

“Mm…mm…mm…” Kotori thought and thought and dropped her head to the table. “I don’t what I could draw!”

Honoka-chan...Dresses…

Kotori imagined Honoka in an orange sundress, her smile so bright as she waved at Kotori energetically could rival the sun’s light.

Honoka-chan…Skirts…

Kotori imagined Honoka in a pink polka dot skirt with a frilly pink blouse, who did a spin and giggled, her giggle chimed like a melody to Kotori’s ears.

Honoka-chan…Alpaca…

An image of Honoka with an alpaca body, and only the ginger’s smiling face was there.

Eh?!

Kotori blinked a few times, weirded out by the image that just crossed her mind.

Alpacas are cute, but an alpaca costume..? Ah, Honoka-chan, what could amaze you?

Kotori moved her head to the side, and looked to her closet where her uniform was no longer hanging there since there isn’t school the next day.

“Oh, I could go out during the weekend to get some ideas…Mum doesn’t mind when I go window-shopping~” Kotori also wanted to get some new clothes if her allowance allowed it, but that was for if she did see something she like.

Kotori closed her sketchbook and placed it nicely on the table before stretching as she got off her chair.

“Alright! Let’s sleep and look for some clothing ideas to draw tomorrow~” Kotori cheered softly to herself, her hands balled up in front of her chest like a cheerleader pose, albeit a shy one.

Kotori glanced once more to her sketchbook with a smile before climbing onto bed, turning the lights off and getting some much needed rest for the idea hunting this weekend.

So~ I'm going to be writing about the weekend…And I thought I might as well share about the evening before it~ XP

Honoka owes the apology as she promised Umi anyway~ :P

Leave a comment if you like~ And look forward to the Weekend! XD

Oh, and I drew Kotori fantasizing about Honoka Alpaca back then~ XD

[aretia]

Why Divorce Is Wrong

Think of it. You choose this person for a lifetime. There were so many nice people you left out there and went ahead and married your spouse. That shows there was something different about him/her.

From a religious point of view, the Bible clearly states that what God has put together no man should put asunder. Those aligned to different religious views see divorce as a wrong act. The secular society likewise feels divorce is wrong because of the guilt that accompanies it and the damage it causes.

There is a lot of dilemma in the divorce process. The parties involved go through a lot of mental, emotional and physical torture. The hot driving forces during this time are inevitable but it is better to take a breather before making a life-changing decision

Questions you need to ask yourself before filing for divorce

Deciding to take a divorce is not an easy thing as many would think. There are a lot of factors to consider, a lot of evaluation of your own self. Making a haste decision could prove catastrophic. I will hereby outline some of the questions you must ask yourself before divorcing your spouse.

What is your motivation?

Too tired with your marriage? Take time explore your marriage. What exactly is your motivation behind the divorce? What is making you feel to give up on a lifetime journey that you already vowed before God, relatives and friends?

If your motive is right, what are consequences of the decision made? Whether you are unhappy or hopeless or too tired to keep trying, understanding your reasoning helps you ground your decision. You will be able to examine yourself better and be able to make reasonable solid decision. Let not your selfishness be the cause to your marriage breaking.

Are there other options apart from divorce?

I am sure divorce is not your only option. There are so many other option that you could put into consideration. Visiting a counselor, or separating for a while could help you make sound decision before things falls apart. This could help you to defuse the complex you might be having about your marriage. Try harder, you are born to win. Remember quitters never win and winners never quit – no matter how bad the situation is.

Could you be the problem?

The nature of a human being is to always see the other side of the story. Rarely will you find yourself guilty. We like to blame the other person more than we blame ourselves. Sit down and have a conference with yourself. See whether you have contributed to breaking your marriage. Are there things that you are not doing right that could be hurting your spouse enough to make them want a divorce? Use this period to really reflect on your marriage life.

Think about some things you have done or said that could have contributed to your marital problems. If you changed some of the crude ways you relate to your spouse, could the marriage be saved? Instead of shifting all the blame onto your spouse, try to understand how you might have introduced some conflict into your relationship. Attempt to correct it as fast as you can, and then watch the outcome.

Could you stay if your spouse changes?

Your marriage can still be saved if you fought for it. Giving up would portray weakness. Ask yourself, “What needs to be changed in my marriage so I feel good staying in marriage? Look if you can sit down with your spouse and talk it over. If it’s an issue that can be easily resolved, you might be able to work through it together.

Do not try to demand change from your spouse because they may become resistant to your demand but rather, in a polite language, try to help them see the sense in it. Have this in mind – nothing is impossible. if your spouse changes his or her behaviour then you are obligated to forgive them and move on. Give them a chance to prove themselves, coz if you won’t it agains shows some bit of selfishness in you.

What support do I have, and what support do I need?

The road to divorce may not be as easy as you think. It can be financially and emotionally tasking. You’ll need all the support you can get. Take inventory of what type of support you currently have and what type of support you will need in the future. Family, friends, and a good therapist can help you weather just about any storm.

Reasons why you should not think of a divorce

Many people will think of a divorce at least one moment in life especially when things fall apart. For some, divorce is a constant threat; for others, it feels like the only hope. Trying to make sense why you should always evade the thought of a divorce, let us look at some of the major reasons why divorce is wrong.

1. Divorce hurts kids

As much as you want to have divorce, think first on the effect it will have on your kids. They should be your first motivation and you should at least stay in marriage for their sake. Try to weigh the effect of the divorce on your children. You might be able to get over it further down the line, but the children may never overcome it.

They will never get over the loss of their family, and their lives will never be the same. Never. When parents start living separate lives, a child’s world is shattered, and they must navigate through this new reality.

There will be long-lasting financial, emotional, developmental, academic, and psychological repercussions. For that kid, the fairy tale is officially over. Yes, kids do “move on,” but they are affected forever.

2. Once trust is broken you may never be able to trust again

Trust is very vital in life. Once trust is broken, trusting again becomes a problem. You will always be suspicious even in your new relationship. Instead of a divorce, you better think of getting help and frequently talk to your partner about it. Getting from one relationship to another will lower your trust on people. Every time you face a struggle, walking away would be so easy instead of solving the problems.

3. Custody battles are the worst experience

In a case where parents are fighting over children, everyone’s life becomes difficult. The children get to know who mum is fighting for and who dad is fighting for. This will develop a complex in the children. In addition, your children will now have two homes, not one. For the rest of their childhood, they will have to continually split themselves between two residences and will have to adjust every time they go from one to the other. Yes, custody arrangements might sound easy on paper, but are usually emotionally and mentally devastating.

Another problem is you will no longer have the children in your home full-time. You will be sharing those children with your ex-partner, and you will have to arrange your whole life to accommodate these arrangements. Walking away from a marriage because it’s not what you wanted will likely mean walking away from your kids and that impact is enormous.

4. The relationship between the two families is broken as well after divorce

Now this is a very difficult one, and painful for many people. You know when you got married, everyone said you were marrying your fiancé’s family, as well? Well, this truth also works in reverse. When you divorce your wife, you are also divorcing her family, in most cases.

Family members will often feel forced to take sides, and guess who they are going to pick? Of course they’ll choose the blood relation. So the relationship you built with your in-laws will probably end. I am not saying it happens all the time but most cases the relations breaks.in very few cases where you will find this relationship surviving.

5. Children of single parents don’t get the opportunity to see a model of what marriage is supposed to look like

Research has proved this right . Most of kids who are brought up by a single parent and from a divorce may not be able to make their own home. This is because they grow never seeing responsibilities being shared from their parent. In most cases children will do exactly what they saw their parent doing. Committing themselves to a marriage becomes a bit of problem to them. Very few people are able to overcome this challenge. Additionally, children of single parents seem to have more difficulty forming relationships with their peers. Once they mature, they are more likely to marry and have children early, then divorce; and girls from single-parent families have a greater chance of becoming single mothers as well.

6. Committing yourself to a second marriage becomes more harder

Making a new life after divorce is a bit difficult. You have a lot of struggles and luggage to carry before you stabilize. We hope and believe in second chances, and this often includes a second marriage. If a person is divorced, they will often want share their life with someone else and not to simply be alone. Research shows that 25% of second marriages fail and they are even harder than the first one. There are a number of reasons why second marriage is difficult. Let us look at them: ● They are less innocent Second marriages are less innocent and that makes them harder. Although they are trying to love again, both people are scared, and that’s not a good way to start a marriage. This might not apply to everyone, but for some people, it can definitely be a factor. ● They are more complicated than the first one Second marriages, especially when children are involved, are very complicated. Your kids must now deal with a new person in their life. There are so many variables, and trying to create a new family in the aftermath of a family breakup is never any easy. This is because when people marry for the first time they have ample time together before kids come. This time is very important because it helps them connect well to each other so even when kids come they are able to connect with them well. Step parents, on the other hand, must deal with children from the very start of their marriage and don’t have that all-important adjustment period.

7. There cases where you will lose your friends

In most cases when you are married, your spouse’s friends becomes your friends too and when you too divorce, friends are not able to know where to fall. Divorce will have a dramatic effect on your social life. Couples often feel more comfortable being friends with other couples, and making them switch to two singles instead of one deuce will shake everything up. If you are really close, the couple might choose to see you both at different times, but usually, friends feel forced to take sides and be loyal to their original friend. This doesn’t sound very nice, but it’s a reality.

Also, some couples don’t feel as comfortable hanging out with a divorced person. Their lonely presence serves as a reminder that things always don’t work out. Just as people often don’t know what to say to someone who is grieving the loss of a loved one, people are often awkward when confronted by a divorce. They don’t know what to say, so they stay away.

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Source: https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/why-divorce-is-wrong/

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Why Divorce Is Wrong

Think of it. You choose this person for a lifetime. There were so many nice people you left out there and went ahead and married your spouse. That shows there was something different about him/her.

From a religious point of view, the Bible clearly states that what God has put together no man should put asunder. Those aligned to different religious views see divorce as a wrong act. The secular society likewise feels divorce is wrong because of the guilt that accompanies it and the damage it causes.

There is a lot of dilemma in the divorce process. The parties involved go through a lot of mental, emotional and physical torture. The hot driving forces during this time are inevitable but it is better to take a breather before making a life-changing decision

Questions you need to ask yourself before filing for divorce

Deciding to take a divorce is not an easy thing as many would think. There are a lot of factors to consider, a lot of evaluation of your own self. Making a haste decision could prove catastrophic. I will hereby outline some of the questions you must ask yourself before divorcing your spouse.

What is your motivation?

Too tired with your marriage? Take time explore your marriage. What exactly is your motivation behind the divorce? What is making you feel to give up on a lifetime journey that you already vowed before God, relatives and friends?

If your motive is right, what are consequences of the decision made? Whether you are unhappy or hopeless or too tired to keep trying, understanding your reasoning helps you ground your decision. You will be able to examine yourself better and be able to make reasonable solid decision. Let not your selfishness be the cause to your marriage breaking.

Are there other options apart from divorce?

I am sure divorce is not your only option. There are so many other option that you could put into consideration. Visiting a counselor, or separating for a while could help you make sound decision before things falls apart. This could help you to defuse the complex you might be having about your marriage. Try harder, you are born to win. Remember quitters never win and winners never quit – no matter how bad the situation is.

Could you be the problem?

The nature of a human being is to always see the other side of the story. Rarely will you find yourself guilty. We like to blame the other person more than we blame ourselves. Sit down and have a conference with yourself. See whether you have contributed to breaking your marriage. Are there things that you are not doing right that could be hurting your spouse enough to make them want a divorce? Use this period to really reflect on your marriage life.

Think about some things you have done or said that could have contributed to your marital problems. If you changed some of the crude ways you relate to your spouse, could the marriage be saved? Instead of shifting all the blame onto your spouse, try to understand how you might have introduced some conflict into your relationship. Attempt to correct it as fast as you can, and then watch the outcome.

Could you stay if your spouse changes?

Your marriage can still be saved if you fought for it. Giving up would portray weakness. Ask yourself, “What needs to be changed in my marriage so I feel good staying in marriage? Look if you can sit down with your spouse and talk it over. If it’s an issue that can be easily resolved, you might be able to work through it together.

Do not try to demand change from your spouse because they may become resistant to your demand but rather, in a polite language, try to help them see the sense in it. Have this in mind – nothing is impossible. if your spouse changes his or her behaviour then you are obligated to forgive them and move on. Give them a chance to prove themselves, coz if you won’t it agains shows some bit of selfishness in you.

What support do I have, and what support do I need?

The road to divorce may not be as easy as you think. It can be financially and emotionally tasking. You’ll need all the support you can get. Take inventory of what type of support you currently have and what type of support you will need in the future. Family, friends, and a good therapist can help you weather just about any storm.

Reasons why you should not think of a divorce

Many people will think of a divorce at least one moment in life especially when things fall apart. For some, divorce is a constant threat; for others, it feels like the only hope. Trying to make sense why you should always evade the thought of a divorce, let us look at some of the major reasons why divorce is wrong.

1. Divorce hurts kids

As much as you want to have divorce, think first on the effect it will have on your kids. They should be your first motivation and you should at least stay in marriage for their sake. Try to weigh the effect of the divorce on your children. You might be able to get over it further down the line, but the children may never overcome it.

They will never get over the loss of their family, and their lives will never be the same. Never. When parents start living separate lives, a child’s world is shattered, and they must navigate through this new reality.

There will be long-lasting financial, emotional, developmental, academic, and psychological repercussions. For that kid, the fairy tale is officially over. Yes, kids do “move on,” but they are affected forever.

2. Once trust is broken you may never be able to trust again

Trust is very vital in life. Once trust is broken, trusting again becomes a problem. You will always be suspicious even in your new relationship. Instead of a divorce, you better think of getting help and frequently talk to your partner about it. Getting from one relationship to another will lower your trust on people. Every time you face a struggle, walking away would be so easy instead of solving the problems.

3. Custody battles are the worst experience

In a case where parents are fighting over children, everyone’s life becomes difficult. The children get to know who mum is fighting for and who dad is fighting for. This will develop a complex in the children. In addition, your children will now have two homes, not one. For the rest of their childhood, they will have to continually split themselves between two residences and will have to adjust every time they go from one to the other. Yes, custody arrangements might sound easy on paper, but are usually emotionally and mentally devastating.

Another problem is you will no longer have the children in your home full-time. You will be sharing those children with your ex-partner, and you will have to arrange your whole life to accommodate these arrangements. Walking away from a marriage because it’s not what you wanted will likely mean walking away from your kids and that impact is enormous.

4. The relationship between the two families is broken as well after divorce

Now this is a very difficult one, and painful for many people. You know when you got married, everyone said you were marrying your fiancé’s family, as well? Well, this truth also works in reverse. When you divorce your wife, you are also divorcing her family, in most cases.

Family members will often feel forced to take sides, and guess who they are going to pick? Of course they’ll choose the blood relation. So the relationship you built with your in-laws will probably end. I am not saying it happens all the time but most cases the relations breaks.in very few cases where you will find this relationship surviving.

5. Children of single parents don’t get the opportunity to see a model of what marriage is supposed to look like

Research has proved this right . Most of kids who are brought up by a single parent and from a divorce may not be able to make their own home. This is because they grow never seeing responsibilities being shared from their parent. In most cases children will do exactly what they saw their parent doing. Committing themselves to a marriage becomes a bit of problem to them. Very few people are able to overcome this challenge. Additionally, children of single parents seem to have more difficulty forming relationships with their peers. Once they mature, they are more likely to marry and have children early, then divorce; and girls from single-parent families have a greater chance of becoming single mothers as well.

6. Committing yourself to a second marriage becomes more harder

Making a new life after divorce is a bit difficult. You have a lot of struggles and luggage to carry before you stabilize. We hope and believe in second chances, and this often includes a second marriage. If a person is divorced, they will often want share their life with someone else and not to simply be alone. Research shows that 25% of second marriages fail and they are even harder than the first one. There are a number of reasons why second marriage is difficult. Let us look at them: ● They are less innocent Second marriages are less innocent and that makes them harder. Although they are trying to love again, both people are scared, and that’s not a good way to start a marriage. This might not apply to everyone, but for some people, it can definitely be a factor. ● They are more complicated than the first one Second marriages, especially when children are involved, are very complicated. Your kids must now deal with a new person in their life. There are so many variables, and trying to create a new family in the aftermath of a family breakup is never any easy. This is because when people marry for the first time they have ample time together before kids come. This time is very important because it helps them connect well to each other so even when kids come they are able to connect with them well. Step parents, on the other hand, must deal with children from the very start of their marriage and don’t have that all-important adjustment period.

7. There cases where you will lose your friends

In most cases when you are married, your spouse’s friends becomes your friends too and when you too divorce, friends are not able to know where to fall. Divorce will have a dramatic effect on your social life. Couples often feel more comfortable being friends with other couples, and making them switch to two singles instead of one deuce will shake everything up. If you are really close, the couple might choose to see you both at different times, but usually, friends feel forced to take sides and be loyal to their original friend. This doesn’t sound very nice, but it’s a reality.

Also, some couples don’t feel as comfortable hanging out with a divorced person. Their lonely presence serves as a reminder that things always don’t work out. Just as people often don’t know what to say to someone who is grieving the loss of a loved one, people are often awkward when confronted by a divorce. They don’t know what to say, so they stay away.

Divorce Lawyer Free Consultation

When you need a divorce lawyer in Utah, please call Ascent Law at (801) 676-5506. We will help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: (801) 676-5506

Ascent Law LLC

4.9 stars – based on 67 reviews

Recent Posts

Do Medical Bills Die With You?

Environmental Litigation

Can I Be Denied A Job Because of Bankruptcy?

How To Get A Divorce When You Are Struggling Financially

Tax Refund and Bankruptcy

Is Shoplifting a Felony?

Source: https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/why-divorce-is-wrong/

[melissawalker01]

Why Divorce Is Wrong

Think of it. You choose this person for a lifetime. There were so many nice people you left out there and went ahead and married your spouse. That shows there was something different about him/her.

From a religious point of view, the Bible clearly states that what God has put together no man should put asunder. Those aligned to different religious views see divorce as a wrong act. The secular society likewise feels divorce is wrong because of the guilt that accompanies it and the damage it causes.

There is a lot of dilemma in the divorce process. The parties involved go through a lot of mental, emotional and physical torture. The hot driving forces during this time are inevitable but it is better to take a breather before making a life-changing decision

Questions you need to ask yourself before filing for divorce

Deciding to take a divorce is not an easy thing as many would think. There are a lot of factors to consider, a lot of evaluation of your own self. Making a haste decision could prove catastrophic. I will hereby outline some of the questions you must ask yourself before divorcing your spouse.

What is your motivation?

Too tired with your marriage? Take time explore your marriage. What exactly is your motivation behind the divorce? What is making you feel to give up on a lifetime journey that you already vowed before God, relatives and friends?

If your motive is right, what are consequences of the decision made? Whether you are unhappy or hopeless or too tired to keep trying, understanding your reasoning helps you ground your decision. You will be able to examine yourself better and be able to make reasonable solid decision. Let not your selfishness be the cause to your marriage breaking.

Are there other options apart from divorce?

I am sure divorce is not your only option. There are so many other option that you could put into consideration. Visiting a counselor, or separating for a while could help you make sound decision before things falls apart. This could help you to defuse the complex you might be having about your marriage. Try harder, you are born to win. Remember quitters never win and winners never quit – no matter how bad the situation is.

Could you be the problem?

The nature of a human being is to always see the other side of the story. Rarely will you find yourself guilty. We like to blame the other person more than we blame ourselves. Sit down and have a conference with yourself. See whether you have contributed to breaking your marriage. Are there things that you are not doing right that could be hurting your spouse enough to make them want a divorce? Use this period to really reflect on your marriage life.

Think about some things you have done or said that could have contributed to your marital problems. If you changed some of the crude ways you relate to your spouse, could the marriage be saved? Instead of shifting all the blame onto your spouse, try to understand how you might have introduced some conflict into your relationship. Attempt to correct it as fast as you can, and then watch the outcome.

Could you stay if your spouse changes?

Your marriage can still be saved if you fought for it. Giving up would portray weakness. Ask yourself, “What needs to be changed in my marriage so I feel good staying in marriage? Look if you can sit down with your spouse and talk it over. If it’s an issue that can be easily resolved, you might be able to work through it together.

Do not try to demand change from your spouse because they may become resistant to your demand but rather, in a polite language, try to help them see the sense in it. Have this in mind – nothing is impossible. if your spouse changes his or her behaviour then you are obligated to forgive them and move on. Give them a chance to prove themselves, coz if you won’t it agains shows some bit of selfishness in you.

What support do I have, and what support do I need?

The road to divorce may not be as easy as you think. It can be financially and emotionally tasking. You’ll need all the support you can get. Take inventory of what type of support you currently have and what type of support you will need in the future. Family, friends, and a good therapist can help you weather just about any storm.

Reasons why you should not think of a divorce

Many people will think of a divorce at least one moment in life especially when things fall apart. For some, divorce is a constant threat; for others, it feels like the only hope. Trying to make sense why you should always evade the thought of a divorce, let us look at some of the major reasons why divorce is wrong.

1. Divorce hurts kids

As much as you want to have divorce, think first on the effect it will have on your kids. They should be your first motivation and you should at least stay in marriage for their sake. Try to weigh the effect of the divorce on your children. You might be able to get over it further down the line, but the children may never overcome it.

They will never get over the loss of their family, and their lives will never be the same. Never. When parents start living separate lives, a child’s world is shattered, and they must navigate through this new reality.

There will be long-lasting financial, emotional, developmental, academic, and psychological repercussions. For that kid, the fairy tale is officially over. Yes, kids do “move on,” but they are affected forever.

2. Once trust is broken you may never be able to trust again

Trust is very vital in life. Once trust is broken, trusting again becomes a problem. You will always be suspicious even in your new relationship. Instead of a divorce, you better think of getting help and frequently talk to your partner about it. Getting from one relationship to another will lower your trust on people. Every time you face a struggle, walking away would be so easy instead of solving the problems.

3. Custody battles are the worst experience

In a case where parents are fighting over children, everyone’s life becomes difficult. The children get to know who mum is fighting for and who dad is fighting for. This will develop a complex in the children. In addition, your children will now have two homes, not one. For the rest of their childhood, they will have to continually split themselves between two residences and will have to adjust every time they go from one to the other. Yes, custody arrangements might sound easy on paper, but are usually emotionally and mentally devastating.

Another problem is you will no longer have the children in your home full-time. You will be sharing those children with your ex-partner, and you will have to arrange your whole life to accommodate these arrangements. Walking away from a marriage because it’s not what you wanted will likely mean walking away from your kids and that impact is enormous.

4. The relationship between the two families is broken as well after divorce

Now this is a very difficult one, and painful for many people. You know when you got married, everyone said you were marrying your fiancé’s family, as well? Well, this truth also works in reverse. When you divorce your wife, you are also divorcing her family, in most cases.

Family members will often feel forced to take sides, and guess who they are going to pick? Of course they’ll choose the blood relation. So the relationship you built with your in-laws will probably end. I am not saying it happens all the time but most cases the relations breaks.in very few cases where you will find this relationship surviving.

5. Children of single parents don’t get the opportunity to see a model of what marriage is supposed to look like

Research has proved this right . Most of kids who are brought up by a single parent and from a divorce may not be able to make their own home. This is because they grow never seeing responsibilities being shared from their parent. In most cases children will do exactly what they saw their parent doing. Committing themselves to a marriage becomes a bit of problem to them. Very few people are able to overcome this challenge. Additionally, children of single parents seem to have more difficulty forming relationships with their peers. Once they mature, they are more likely to marry and have children early, then divorce; and girls from single-parent families have a greater chance of becoming single mothers as well.

6. Committing yourself to a second marriage becomes more harder

Making a new life after divorce is a bit difficult. You have a lot of struggles and luggage to carry before you stabilize. We hope and believe in second chances, and this often includes a second marriage. If a person is divorced, they will often want share their life with someone else and not to simply be alone. Research shows that 25% of second marriages fail and they are even harder than the first one. There are a number of reasons why second marriage is difficult. Let us look at them: ● They are less innocent Second marriages are less innocent and that makes them harder. Although they are trying to love again, both people are scared, and that’s not a good way to start a marriage. This might not apply to everyone, but for some people, it can definitely be a factor. ● They are more complicated than the first one Second marriages, especially when children are involved, are very complicated. Your kids must now deal with a new person in their life. There are so many variables, and trying to create a new family in the aftermath of a family breakup is never any easy. This is because when people marry for the first time they have ample time together before kids come. This time is very important because it helps them connect well to each other so even when kids come they are able to connect with them well. Step parents, on the other hand, must deal with children from the very start of their marriage and don’t have that all-important adjustment period.

7. There cases where you will lose your friends

In most cases when you are married, your spouse’s friends becomes your friends too and when you too divorce, friends are not able to know where to fall. Divorce will have a dramatic effect on your social life. Couples often feel more comfortable being friends with other couples, and making them switch to two singles instead of one deuce will shake everything up. If you are really close, the couple might choose to see you both at different times, but usually, friends feel forced to take sides and be loyal to their original friend. This doesn’t sound very nice, but it’s a reality.

Also, some couples don’t feel as comfortable hanging out with a divorced person. Their lonely presence serves as a reminder that things always don’t work out. Just as people often don’t know what to say to someone who is grieving the loss of a loved one, people are often awkward when confronted by a divorce. They don’t know what to say, so they stay away.

Divorce Lawyer Free Consultation

When you need a divorce lawyer in Utah, please call Ascent Law at (801) 676-5506. We will help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: (801) 676-5506

Ascent Law LLC

4.9 stars – based on 67 reviews

Recent Posts

Do Medical Bills Die With You?

Environmental Litigation

Can I Be Denied A Job Because of Bankruptcy?

How To Get A Divorce When You Are Struggling Financially

Tax Refund and Bankruptcy

Is Shoplifting a Felony?

from Michael Anderson https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/why-divorce-is-wrong/ from Divorce Lawyer Nelson Farms Utah https://divorcelawyernelsonfarmsutah.tumblr.com/post/186953862140

[mayarosa47]

Why Divorce Is Wrong

Think of it. You choose this person for a lifetime. There were so many nice people you left out there and went ahead and married your spouse. That shows there was something different about him/her.

From a religious point of view, the Bible clearly states that what God has put together no man should put asunder. Those aligned to different religious views see divorce as a wrong act. The secular society likewise feels divorce is wrong because of the guilt that accompanies it and the damage it causes.

There is a lot of dilemma in the divorce process. The parties involved go through a lot of mental, emotional and physical torture. The hot driving forces during this time are inevitable but it is better to take a breather before making a life-changing decision

Questions you need to ask yourself before filing for divorce

Deciding to take a divorce is not an easy thing as many would think. There are a lot of factors to consider, a lot of evaluation of your own self. Making a haste decision could prove catastrophic. I will hereby outline some of the questions you must ask yourself before divorcing your spouse.

What is your motivation?

Too tired with your marriage? Take time explore your marriage. What exactly is your motivation behind the divorce? What is making you feel to give up on a lifetime journey that you already vowed before God, relatives and friends?

If your motive is right, what are consequences of the decision made? Whether you are unhappy or hopeless or too tired to keep trying, understanding your reasoning helps you ground your decision. You will be able to examine yourself better and be able to make reasonable solid decision. Let not your selfishness be the cause to your marriage breaking.

Are there other options apart from divorce?

I am sure divorce is not your only option. There are so many other option that you could put into consideration. Visiting a counselor, or separating for a while could help you make sound decision before things falls apart. This could help you to defuse the complex you might be having about your marriage. Try harder, you are born to win. Remember quitters never win and winners never quit – no matter how bad the situation is.

Could you be the problem?

The nature of a human being is to always see the other side of the story. Rarely will you find yourself guilty. We like to blame the other person more than we blame ourselves. Sit down and have a conference with yourself. See whether you have contributed to breaking your marriage. Are there things that you are not doing right that could be hurting your spouse enough to make them want a divorce? Use this period to really reflect on your marriage life.

Think about some things you have done or said that could have contributed to your marital problems. If you changed some of the crude ways you relate to your spouse, could the marriage be saved? Instead of shifting all the blame onto your spouse, try to understand how you might have introduced some conflict into your relationship. Attempt to correct it as fast as you can, and then watch the outcome.

Could you stay if your spouse changes?

Your marriage can still be saved if you fought for it. Giving up would portray weakness. Ask yourself, “What needs to be changed in my marriage so I feel good staying in marriage? Look if you can sit down with your spouse and talk it over. If it’s an issue that can be easily resolved, you might be able to work through it together.

Do not try to demand change from your spouse because they may become resistant to your demand but rather, in a polite language, try to help them see the sense in it. Have this in mind – nothing is impossible. if your spouse changes his or her behaviour then you are obligated to forgive them and move on. Give them a chance to prove themselves, coz if you won’t it agains shows some bit of selfishness in you.

What support do I have, and what support do I need?

The road to divorce may not be as easy as you think. It can be financially and emotionally tasking. You’ll need all the support you can get. Take inventory of what type of support you currently have and what type of support you will need in the future. Family, friends, and a good therapist can help you weather just about any storm.

Reasons why you should not think of a divorce

Many people will think of a divorce at least one moment in life especially when things fall apart. For some, divorce is a constant threat; for others, it feels like the only hope. Trying to make sense why you should always evade the thought of a divorce, let us look at some of the major reasons why divorce is wrong.

1. Divorce hurts kids

As much as you want to have divorce, think first on the effect it will have on your kids. They should be your first motivation and you should at least stay in marriage for their sake. Try to weigh the effect of the divorce on your children. You might be able to get over it further down the line, but the children may never overcome it.

They will never get over the loss of their family, and their lives will never be the same. Never. When parents start living separate lives, a child’s world is shattered, and they must navigate through this new reality.

There will be long-lasting financial, emotional, developmental, academic, and psychological repercussions. For that kid, the fairy tale is officially over. Yes, kids do “move on,” but they are affected forever.

2. Once trust is broken you may never be able to trust again

Trust is very vital in life. Once trust is broken, trusting again becomes a problem. You will always be suspicious even in your new relationship. Instead of a divorce, you better think of getting help and frequently talk to your partner about it. Getting from one relationship to another will lower your trust on people. Every time you face a struggle, walking away would be so easy instead of solving the problems.

3. Custody battles are the worst experience

In a case where parents are fighting over children, everyone’s life becomes difficult. The children get to know who mum is fighting for and who dad is fighting for. This will develop a complex in the children. In addition, your children will now have two homes, not one. For the rest of their childhood, they will have to continually split themselves between two residences and will have to adjust every time they go from one to the other. Yes, custody arrangements might sound easy on paper, but are usually emotionally and mentally devastating.

Another problem is you will no longer have the children in your home full-time. You will be sharing those children with your ex-partner, and you will have to arrange your whole life to accommodate these arrangements. Walking away from a marriage because it’s not what you wanted will likely mean walking away from your kids and that impact is enormous.

4. The relationship between the two families is broken as well after divorce

Now this is a very difficult one, and painful for many people. You know when you got married, everyone said you were marrying your fiancé’s family, as well? Well, this truth also works in reverse. When you divorce your wife, you are also divorcing her family, in most cases.

Family members will often feel forced to take sides, and guess who they are going to pick? Of course they’ll choose the blood relation. So the relationship you built with your in-laws will probably end. I am not saying it happens all the time but most cases the relations breaks.in very few cases where you will find this relationship surviving.

5. Children of single parents don’t get the opportunity to see a model of what marriage is supposed to look like

Research has proved this right . Most of kids who are brought up by a single parent and from a divorce may not be able to make their own home. This is because they grow never seeing responsibilities being shared from their parent. In most cases children will do exactly what they saw their parent doing. Committing themselves to a marriage becomes a bit of problem to them. Very few people are able to overcome this challenge. Additionally, children of single parents seem to have more difficulty forming relationships with their peers. Once they mature, they are more likely to marry and have children early, then divorce; and girls from single-parent families have a greater chance of becoming single mothers as well.

6. Committing yourself to a second marriage becomes more harder

Making a new life after divorce is a bit difficult. You have a lot of struggles and luggage to carry before you stabilize. We hope and believe in second chances, and this often includes a second marriage. If a person is divorced, they will often want share their life with someone else and not to simply be alone. Research shows that 25% of second marriages fail and they are even harder than the first one. There are a number of reasons why second marriage is difficult. Let us look at them: ● They are less innocent Second marriages are less innocent and that makes them harder. Although they are trying to love again, both people are scared, and that’s not a good way to start a marriage. This might not apply to everyone, but for some people, it can definitely be a factor. ● They are more complicated than the first one Second marriages, especially when children are involved, are very complicated. Your kids must now deal with a new person in their life. There are so many variables, and trying to create a new family in the aftermath of a family breakup is never any easy. This is because when people marry for the first time they have ample time together before kids come. This time is very important because it helps them connect well to each other so even when kids come they are able to connect with them well. Step parents, on the other hand, must deal with children from the very start of their marriage and don’t have that all-important adjustment period.

7. There cases where you will lose your friends

In most cases when you are married, your spouse’s friends becomes your friends too and when you too divorce, friends are not able to know where to fall. Divorce will have a dramatic effect on your social life. Couples often feel more comfortable being friends with other couples, and making them switch to two singles instead of one deuce will shake everything up. If you are really close, the couple might choose to see you both at different times, but usually, friends feel forced to take sides and be loyal to their original friend. This doesn’t sound very nice, but it’s a reality.

Also, some couples don’t feel as comfortable hanging out with a divorced person. Their lonely presence serves as a reminder that things always don’t work out. Just as people often don’t know what to say to someone who is grieving the loss of a loved one, people are often awkward when confronted by a divorce. They don’t know what to say, so they stay away.

Divorce Lawyer Free Consultation

When you need a divorce lawyer in Utah, please call Ascent Law at (801) 676-5506. We will help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: (801) 676-5506

Ascent Law LLC

4.9 stars – based on 67 reviews

Recent Posts

Do Medical Bills Die With You?

Environmental Litigation

Can I Be Denied A Job Because of Bankruptcy?

How To Get A Divorce When You Are Struggling Financially

Tax Refund and Bankruptcy

Is Shoplifting a Felony?

from https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/why-divorce-is-wrong/

from Criminal Defense Lawyer West Jordan Utah - Blog http://criminaldefenselawyerwestjordanutah.weebly.com/blog/why-divorce-is-wrong

[asafeatherwould]

Why Divorce Is Wrong

Think of it. You choose this person for a lifetime. There were so many nice people you left out there and went ahead and married your spouse. That shows there was something different about him/her.

From a religious point of view, the Bible clearly states that what God has put together no man should put asunder. Those aligned to different religious views see divorce as a wrong act. The secular society likewise feels divorce is wrong because of the guilt that accompanies it and the damage it causes.

There is a lot of dilemma in the divorce process. The parties involved go through a lot of mental, emotional and physical torture. The hot driving forces during this time are inevitable but it is better to take a breather before making a life-changing decision

Questions you need to ask yourself before filing for divorce

Deciding to take a divorce is not an easy thing as many would think. There are a lot of factors to consider, a lot of evaluation of your own self. Making a haste decision could prove catastrophic. I will hereby outline some of the questions you must ask yourself before divorcing your spouse.

What is your motivation?

Too tired with your marriage? Take time explore your marriage. What exactly is your motivation behind the divorce? What is making you feel to give up on a lifetime journey that you already vowed before God, relatives and friends?

If your motive is right, what are consequences of the decision made? Whether you are unhappy or hopeless or too tired to keep trying, understanding your reasoning helps you ground your decision. You will be able to examine yourself better and be able to make reasonable solid decision. Let not your selfishness be the cause to your marriage breaking.

Are there other options apart from divorce?

I am sure divorce is not your only option. There are so many other option that you could put into consideration. Visiting a counselor, or separating for a while could help you make sound decision before things falls apart. This could help you to defuse the complex you might be having about your marriage. Try harder, you are born to win. Remember quitters never win and winners never quit – no matter how bad the situation is.

Could you be the problem?

The nature of a human being is to always see the other side of the story. Rarely will you find yourself guilty. We like to blame the other person more than we blame ourselves. Sit down and have a conference with yourself. See whether you have contributed to breaking your marriage. Are there things that you are not doing right that could be hurting your spouse enough to make them want a divorce? Use this period to really reflect on your marriage life.

Think about some things you have done or said that could have contributed to your marital problems. If you changed some of the crude ways you relate to your spouse, could the marriage be saved? Instead of shifting all the blame onto your spouse, try to understand how you might have introduced some conflict into your relationship. Attempt to correct it as fast as you can, and then watch the outcome.

Could you stay if your spouse changes?

Your marriage can still be saved if you fought for it. Giving up would portray weakness. Ask yourself, “What needs to be changed in my marriage so I feel good staying in marriage? Look if you can sit down with your spouse and talk it over. If it’s an issue that can be easily resolved, you might be able to work through it together.

Do not try to demand change from your spouse because they may become resistant to your demand but rather, in a polite language, try to help them see the sense in it. Have this in mind – nothing is impossible. if your spouse changes his or her behaviour then you are obligated to forgive them and move on. Give them a chance to prove themselves, coz if you won’t it agains shows some bit of selfishness in you.

What support do I have, and what support do I need?

The road to divorce may not be as easy as you think. It can be financially and emotionally tasking. You’ll need all the support you can get. Take inventory of what type of support you currently have and what type of support you will need in the future. Family, friends, and a good therapist can help you weather just about any storm.

Reasons why you should not think of a divorce

Many people will think of a divorce at least one moment in life especially when things fall apart. For some, divorce is a constant threat; for others, it feels like the only hope. Trying to make sense why you should always evade the thought of a divorce, let us look at some of the major reasons why divorce is wrong.

1. Divorce hurts kids

As much as you want to have divorce, think first on the effect it will have on your kids. They should be your first motivation and you should at least stay in marriage for their sake. Try to weigh the effect of the divorce on your children. You might be able to get over it further down the line, but the children may never overcome it.

They will never get over the loss of their family, and their lives will never be the same. Never. When parents start living separate lives, a child’s world is shattered, and they must navigate through this new reality.

There will be long-lasting financial, emotional, developmental, academic, and psychological repercussions. For that kid, the fairy tale is officially over. Yes, kids do “move on,” but they are affected forever.

2. Once trust is broken you may never be able to trust again

Trust is very vital in life. Once trust is broken, trusting again becomes a problem. You will always be suspicious even in your new relationship. Instead of a divorce, you better think of getting help and frequently talk to your partner about it. Getting from one relationship to another will lower your trust on people. Every time you face a struggle, walking away would be so easy instead of solving the problems.

3. Custody battles are the worst experience

In a case where parents are fighting over children, everyone’s life becomes difficult. The children get to know who mum is fighting for and who dad is fighting for. This will develop a complex in the children. In addition, your children will now have two homes, not one. For the rest of their childhood, they will have to continually split themselves between two residences and will have to adjust every time they go from one to the other. Yes, custody arrangements might sound easy on paper, but are usually emotionally and mentally devastating.

Another problem is you will no longer have the children in your home full-time. You will be sharing those children with your ex-partner, and you will have to arrange your whole life to accommodate these arrangements. Walking away from a marriage because it’s not what you wanted will likely mean walking away from your kids and that impact is enormous.

4. The relationship between the two families is broken as well after divorce

Now this is a very difficult one, and painful for many people. You know when you got married, everyone said you were marrying your fiancé’s family, as well? Well, this truth also works in reverse. When you divorce your wife, you are also divorcing her family, in most cases.

Family members will often feel forced to take sides, and guess who they are going to pick? Of course they’ll choose the blood relation. So the relationship you built with your in-laws will probably end. I am not saying it happens all the time but most cases the relations breaks.in very few cases where you will find this relationship surviving.

5. Children of single parents don’t get the opportunity to see a model of what marriage is supposed to look like

Research has proved this right . Most of kids who are brought up by a single parent and from a divorce may not be able to make their own home. This is because they grow never seeing responsibilities being shared from their parent. In most cases children will do exactly what they saw their parent doing. Committing themselves to a marriage becomes a bit of problem to them. Very few people are able to overcome this challenge. Additionally, children of single parents seem to have more difficulty forming relationships with their peers. Once they mature, they are more likely to marry and have children early, then divorce; and girls from single-parent families have a greater chance of becoming single mothers as well.

6. Committing yourself to a second marriage becomes more harder

Making a new life after divorce is a bit difficult. You have a lot of struggles and luggage to carry before you stabilize. We hope and believe in second chances, and this often includes a second marriage. If a person is divorced, they will often want share their life with someone else and not to simply be alone. Research shows that 25% of second marriages fail and they are even harder than the first one. There are a number of reasons why second marriage is difficult. Let us look at them: ● They are less innocent Second marriages are less innocent and that makes them harder. Although they are trying to love again, both people are scared, and that’s not a good way to start a marriage. This might not apply to everyone, but for some people, it can definitely be a factor. ● They are more complicated than the first one Second marriages, especially when children are involved, are very complicated. Your kids must now deal with a new person in their life. There are so many variables, and trying to create a new family in the aftermath of a family breakup is never any easy. This is because when people marry for the first time they have ample time together before kids come. This time is very important because it helps them connect well to each other so even when kids come they are able to connect with them well. Step parents, on the other hand, must deal with children from the very start of their marriage and don’t have that all-important adjustment period.

7. There cases where you will lose your friends

In most cases when you are married, your spouse’s friends becomes your friends too and when you too divorce, friends are not able to know where to fall. Divorce will have a dramatic effect on your social life. Couples often feel more comfortable being friends with other couples, and making them switch to two singles instead of one deuce will shake everything up. If you are really close, the couple might choose to see you both at different times, but usually, friends feel forced to take sides and be loyal to their original friend. This doesn’t sound very nice, but it’s a reality.

Also, some couples don’t feel as comfortable hanging out with a divorced person. Their lonely presence serves as a reminder that things always don’t work out. Just as people often don’t know what to say to someone who is grieving the loss of a loved one, people are often awkward when confronted by a divorce. They don’t know what to say, so they stay away.

Divorce Lawyer Free Consultation

When you need a divorce lawyer in Utah, please call Ascent Law at (801) 676-5506. We will help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: (801) 676-5506

Ascent Law LLC

4.9 stars – based on 67 reviews

Recent Posts

Do Medical Bills Die With You?

Environmental Litigation

Can I Be Denied A Job Because of Bankruptcy?

How To Get A Divorce When You Are Struggling Financially

Tax Refund and Bankruptcy

Is Shoplifting a Felony?

Source: https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/why-divorce-is-wrong/

[michaeljames1221]

Why Divorce Is Wrong

Think of it. You choose this person for a lifetime. There were so many nice people you left out there and went ahead and married your spouse. That shows there was something different about him/her.

From a religious point of view, the Bible clearly states that what God has put together no man should put asunder. Those aligned to different religious views see divorce as a wrong act. The secular society likewise feels divorce is wrong because of the guilt that accompanies it and the damage it causes.

There is a lot of dilemma in the divorce process. The parties involved go through a lot of mental, emotional and physical torture. The hot driving forces during this time are inevitable but it is better to take a breather before making a life-changing decision

Questions you need to ask yourself before filing for divorce

Deciding to take a divorce is not an easy thing as many would think. There are a lot of factors to consider, a lot of evaluation of your own self. Making a haste decision could prove catastrophic. I will hereby outline some of the questions you must ask yourself before divorcing your spouse.

What is your motivation?

Too tired with your marriage? Take time explore your marriage. What exactly is your motivation behind the divorce? What is making you feel to give up on a lifetime journey that you already vowed before God, relatives and friends?

If your motive is right, what are consequences of the decision made? Whether you are unhappy or hopeless or too tired to keep trying, understanding your reasoning helps you ground your decision. You will be able to examine yourself better and be able to make reasonable solid decision. Let not your selfishness be the cause to your marriage breaking.

Are there other options apart from divorce?

I am sure divorce is not your only option. There are so many other option that you could put into consideration. Visiting a counselor, or separating for a while could help you make sound decision before things falls apart. This could help you to defuse the complex you might be having about your marriage. Try harder, you are born to win. Remember quitters never win and winners never quit – no matter how bad the situation is.

Could you be the problem?

The nature of a human being is to always see the other side of the story. Rarely will you find yourself guilty. We like to blame the other person more than we blame ourselves. Sit down and have a conference with yourself. See whether you have contributed to breaking your marriage. Are there things that you are not doing right that could be hurting your spouse enough to make them want a divorce? Use this period to really reflect on your marriage life.

Think about some things you have done or said that could have contributed to your marital problems. If you changed some of the crude ways you relate to your spouse, could the marriage be saved? Instead of shifting all the blame onto your spouse, try to understand how you might have introduced some conflict into your relationship. Attempt to correct it as fast as you can, and then watch the outcome.

Could you stay if your spouse changes?

Your marriage can still be saved if you fought for it. Giving up would portray weakness. Ask yourself, “What needs to be changed in my marriage so I feel good staying in marriage? Look if you can sit down with your spouse and talk it over. If it’s an issue that can be easily resolved, you might be able to work through it together.

Do not try to demand change from your spouse because they may become resistant to your demand but rather, in a polite language, try to help them see the sense in it. Have this in mind – nothing is impossible. if your spouse changes his or her behaviour then you are obligated to forgive them and move on. Give them a chance to prove themselves, coz if you won’t it agains shows some bit of selfishness in you.

What support do I have, and what support do I need?

The road to divorce may not be as easy as you think. It can be financially and emotionally tasking. You’ll need all the support you can get. Take inventory of what type of support you currently have and what type of support you will need in the future. Family, friends, and a good therapist can help you weather just about any storm.

Reasons why you should not think of a divorce

Many people will think of a divorce at least one moment in life especially when things fall apart. For some, divorce is a constant threat; for others, it feels like the only hope. Trying to make sense why you should always evade the thought of a divorce, let us look at some of the major reasons why divorce is wrong.

1. Divorce hurts kids

As much as you want to have divorce, think first on the effect it will have on your kids. They should be your first motivation and you should at least stay in marriage for their sake. Try to weigh the effect of the divorce on your children. You might be able to get over it further down the line, but the children may never overcome it.

They will never get over the loss of their family, and their lives will never be the same. Never. When parents start living separate lives, a child’s world is shattered, and they must navigate through this new reality.

There will be long-lasting financial, emotional, developmental, academic, and psychological repercussions. For that kid, the fairy tale is officially over. Yes, kids do “move on,” but they are affected forever.

2. Once trust is broken you may never be able to trust again

Trust is very vital in life. Once trust is broken, trusting again becomes a problem. You will always be suspicious even in your new relationship. Instead of a divorce, you better think of getting help and frequently talk to your partner about it. Getting from one relationship to another will lower your trust on people. Every time you face a struggle, walking away would be so easy instead of solving the problems.

3. Custody battles are the worst experience

In a case where parents are fighting over children, everyone’s life becomes difficult. The children get to know who mum is fighting for and who dad is fighting for. This will develop a complex in the children. In addition, your children will now have two homes, not one. For the rest of their childhood, they will have to continually split themselves between two residences and will have to adjust every time they go from one to the other. Yes, custody arrangements might sound easy on paper, but are usually emotionally and mentally devastating.

Another problem is you will no longer have the children in your home full-time. You will be sharing those children with your ex-partner, and you will have to arrange your whole life to accommodate these arrangements. Walking away from a marriage because it’s not what you wanted will likely mean walking away from your kids and that impact is enormous.

4. The relationship between the two families is broken as well after divorce

Now this is a very difficult one, and painful for many people. You know when you got married, everyone said you were marrying your fiancé’s family, as well? Well, this truth also works in reverse. When you divorce your wife, you are also divorcing her family, in most cases.

Family members will often feel forced to take sides, and guess who they are going to pick? Of course they’ll choose the blood relation. So the relationship you built with your in-laws will probably end. I am not saying it happens all the time but most cases the relations breaks.in very few cases where you will find this relationship surviving.

5. Children of single parents don’t get the opportunity to see a model of what marriage is supposed to look like

Research has proved this right . Most of kids who are brought up by a single parent and from a divorce may not be able to make their own home. This is because they grow never seeing responsibilities being shared from their parent. In most cases children will do exactly what they saw their parent doing. Committing themselves to a marriage becomes a bit of problem to them. Very few people are able to overcome this challenge. Additionally, children of single parents seem to have more difficulty forming relationships with their peers. Once they mature, they are more likely to marry and have children early, then divorce; and girls from single-parent families have a greater chance of becoming single mothers as well.

6. Committing yourself to a second marriage becomes more harder

Making a new life after divorce is a bit difficult. You have a lot of struggles and luggage to carry before you stabilize. We hope and believe in second chances, and this often includes a second marriage. If a person is divorced, they will often want share their life with someone else and not to simply be alone. Research shows that 25% of second marriages fail and they are even harder than the first one. There are a number of reasons why second marriage is difficult. Let us look at them: ● They are less innocent Second marriages are less innocent and that makes them harder. Although they are trying to love again, both people are scared, and that’s not a good way to start a marriage. This might not apply to everyone, but for some people, it can definitely be a factor. ● They are more complicated than the first one Second marriages, especially when children are involved, are very complicated. Your kids must now deal with a new person in their life. There are so many variables, and trying to create a new family in the aftermath of a family breakup is never any easy. This is because when people marry for the first time they have ample time together before kids come. This time is very important because it helps them connect well to each other so even when kids come they are able to connect with them well. Step parents, on the other hand, must deal with children from the very start of their marriage and don’t have that all-important adjustment period.

7. There cases where you will lose your friends

In most cases when you are married, your spouse’s friends becomes your friends too and when you too divorce, friends are not able to know where to fall. Divorce will have a dramatic effect on your social life. Couples often feel more comfortable being friends with other couples, and making them switch to two singles instead of one deuce will shake everything up. If you are really close, the couple might choose to see you both at different times, but usually, friends feel forced to take sides and be loyal to their original friend. This doesn’t sound very nice, but it’s a reality.

Also, some couples don’t feel as comfortable hanging out with a divorced person. Their lonely presence serves as a reminder that things always don’t work out. Just as people often don’t know what to say to someone who is grieving the loss of a loved one, people are often awkward when confronted by a divorce. They don’t know what to say, so they stay away.

Divorce Lawyer Free Consultation

When you need a divorce lawyer in Utah, please call Ascent Law at (801) 676-5506. We will help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: (801) 676-5506

Ascent Law LLC

4.9 stars – based on 67 reviews

Recent Posts

Do Medical Bills Die With You?

Environmental Litigation

Can I Be Denied A Job Because of Bankruptcy?

How To Get A Divorce When You Are Struggling Financially

Tax Refund and Bankruptcy

Is Shoplifting a Felony?

from Michael Anderson https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/why-divorce-is-wrong/

from Criminal Defense Lawyer West Jordan Utah https://criminaldefenselawyerwestjordanutah.wordpress.com/2019/08/12/why-divorce-is-wrong/

[divorcelawyergunnisonutah]

Why Divorce Is Wrong

Think of it. You choose this person for a lifetime. There were so many nice people you left out there and went ahead and married your spouse. That shows there was something different about him/her.

From a religious point of view, the Bible clearly states that what God has put together no man should put asunder. Those aligned to different religious views see divorce as a wrong act. The secular society likewise feels divorce is wrong because of the guilt that accompanies it and the damage it causes.

There is a lot of dilemma in the divorce process. The parties involved go through a lot of mental, emotional and physical torture. The hot driving forces during this time are inevitable but it is better to take a breather before making a life-changing decision

Questions you need to ask yourself before filing for divorce

Deciding to take a divorce is not an easy thing as many would think. There are a lot of factors to consider, a lot of evaluation of your own self. Making a haste decision could prove catastrophic. I will hereby outline some of the questions you must ask yourself before divorcing your spouse.

What is your motivation?

Too tired with your marriage? Take time explore your marriage. What exactly is your motivation behind the divorce? What is making you feel to give up on a lifetime journey that you already vowed before God, relatives and friends?

If your motive is right, what are consequences of the decision made? Whether you are unhappy or hopeless or too tired to keep trying, understanding your reasoning helps you ground your decision. You will be able to examine yourself better and be able to make reasonable solid decision. Let not your selfishness be the cause to your marriage breaking.

Are there other options apart from divorce?

I am sure divorce is not your only option. There are so many other option that you could put into consideration. Visiting a counselor, or separating for a while could help you make sound decision before things falls apart. This could help you to defuse the complex you might be having about your marriage. Try harder, you are born to win. Remember quitters never win and winners never quit – no matter how bad the situation is.

Could you be the problem?

The nature of a human being is to always see the other side of the story. Rarely will you find yourself guilty. We like to blame the other person more than we blame ourselves. Sit down and have a conference with yourself. See whether you have contributed to breaking your marriage. Are there things that you are not doing right that could be hurting your spouse enough to make them want a divorce? Use this period to really reflect on your marriage life.

Think about some things you have done or said that could have contributed to your marital problems. If you changed some of the crude ways you relate to your spouse, could the marriage be saved? Instead of shifting all the blame onto your spouse, try to understand how you might have introduced some conflict into your relationship. Attempt to correct it as fast as you can, and then watch the outcome.

Could you stay if your spouse changes?

Your marriage can still be saved if you fought for it. Giving up would portray weakness. Ask yourself, “What needs to be changed in my marriage so I feel good staying in marriage? Look if you can sit down with your spouse and talk it over. If it’s an issue that can be easily resolved, you might be able to work through it together.

Do not try to demand change from your spouse because they may become resistant to your demand but rather, in a polite language, try to help them see the sense in it. Have this in mind – nothing is impossible. if your spouse changes his or her behaviour then you are obligated to forgive them and move on. Give them a chance to prove themselves, coz if you won’t it agains shows some bit of selfishness in you.

What support do I have, and what support do I need?

The road to divorce may not be as easy as you think. It can be financially and emotionally tasking. You’ll need all the support you can get. Take inventory of what type of support you currently have and what type of support you will need in the future. Family, friends, and a good therapist can help you weather just about any storm.

Reasons why you should not think of a divorce

Many people will think of a divorce at least one moment in life especially when things fall apart. For some, divorce is a constant threat; for others, it feels like the only hope. Trying to make sense why you should always evade the thought of a divorce, let us look at some of the major reasons why divorce is wrong.

1. Divorce hurts kids

As much as you want to have divorce, think first on the effect it will have on your kids. They should be your first motivation and you should at least stay in marriage for their sake. Try to weigh the effect of the divorce on your children. You might be able to get over it further down the line, but the children may never overcome it.

They will never get over the loss of their family, and their lives will never be the same. Never. When parents start living separate lives, a child’s world is shattered, and they must navigate through this new reality.

There will be long-lasting financial, emotional, developmental, academic, and psychological repercussions. For that kid, the fairy tale is officially over. Yes, kids do “move on,” but they are affected forever.

2. Once trust is broken you may never be able to trust again

Trust is very vital in life. Once trust is broken, trusting again becomes a problem. You will always be suspicious even in your new relationship. Instead of a divorce, you better think of getting help and frequently talk to your partner about it. Getting from one relationship to another will lower your trust on people. Every time you face a struggle, walking away would be so easy instead of solving the problems.

3. Custody battles are the worst experience

In a case where parents are fighting over children, everyone’s life becomes difficult. The children get to know who mum is fighting for and who dad is fighting for. This will develop a complex in the children. In addition, your children will now have two homes, not one. For the rest of their childhood, they will have to continually split themselves between two residences and will have to adjust every time they go from one to the other. Yes, custody arrangements might sound easy on paper, but are usually emotionally and mentally devastating.

Another problem is you will no longer have the children in your home full-time. You will be sharing those children with your ex-partner, and you will have to arrange your whole life to accommodate these arrangements. Walking away from a marriage because it’s not what you wanted will likely mean walking away from your kids and that impact is enormous.

4. The relationship between the two families is broken as well after divorce

Now this is a very difficult one, and painful for many people. You know when you got married, everyone said you were marrying your fiancé’s family, as well? Well, this truth also works in reverse. When you divorce your wife, you are also divorcing her family, in most cases.

Family members will often feel forced to take sides, and guess who they are going to pick? Of course they’ll choose the blood relation. So the relationship you built with your in-laws will probably end. I am not saying it happens all the time but most cases the relations breaks.in very few cases where you will find this relationship surviving.

5. Children of single parents don’t get the opportunity to see a model of what marriage is supposed to look like

Research has proved this right . Most of kids who are brought up by a single parent and from a divorce may not be able to make their own home. This is because they grow never seeing responsibilities being shared from their parent. In most cases children will do exactly what they saw their parent doing. Committing themselves to a marriage becomes a bit of problem to them. Very few people are able to overcome this challenge. Additionally, children of single parents seem to have more difficulty forming relationships with their peers. Once they mature, they are more likely to marry and have children early, then divorce; and girls from single-parent families have a greater chance of becoming single mothers as well.

6. Committing yourself to a second marriage becomes more harder

Making a new life after divorce is a bit difficult. You have a lot of struggles and luggage to carry before you stabilize. We hope and believe in second chances, and this often includes a second marriage. If a person is divorced, they will often want share their life with someone else and not to simply be alone. Research shows that 25% of second marriages fail and they are even harder than the first one. There are a number of reasons why second marriage is difficult. Let us look at them: ● They are less innocent Second marriages are less innocent and that makes them harder. Although they are trying to love again, both people are scared, and that’s not a good way to start a marriage. This might not apply to everyone, but for some people, it can definitely be a factor. ● They are more complicated than the first one Second marriages, especially when children are involved, are very complicated. Your kids must now deal with a new person in their life. There are so many variables, and trying to create a new family in the aftermath of a family breakup is never any easy. This is because when people marry for the first time they have ample time together before kids come. This time is very important because it helps them connect well to each other so even when kids come they are able to connect with them well. Step parents, on the other hand, must deal with children from the very start of their marriage and don’t have that all-important adjustment period.

7. There cases where you will lose your friends

In most cases when you are married, your spouse’s friends becomes your friends too and when you too divorce, friends are not able to know where to fall. Divorce will have a dramatic effect on your social life. Couples often feel more comfortable being friends with other couples, and making them switch to two singles instead of one deuce will shake everything up. If you are really close, the couple might choose to see you both at different times, but usually, friends feel forced to take sides and be loyal to their original friend. This doesn’t sound very nice, but it’s a reality.

Also, some couples don’t feel as comfortable hanging out with a divorced person. Their lonely presence serves as a reminder that things always don’t work out. Just as people often don’t know what to say to someone who is grieving the loss of a loved one, people are often awkward when confronted by a divorce. They don’t know what to say, so they stay away.

Divorce Lawyer Free Consultation

When you need a divorce lawyer in Utah, please call Ascent Law at (801) 676-5506. We will help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: (801) 676-5506

Ascent Law LLC

4.9 stars – based on 67 reviews

Recent Posts

Do Medical Bills Die With You?

Environmental Litigation

Can I Be Denied A Job Because of Bankruptcy?

How To Get A Divorce When You Are Struggling Financially

Tax Refund and Bankruptcy

Is Shoplifting a Felony?

from Michael Anderson https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/why-divorce-is-wrong/

[coming-from-hell]

Why Divorce Is Wrong

Think of it. You choose this person for a lifetime. There were so many nice people you left out there and went ahead and married your spouse. That shows there was something different about him/her.

From a religious point of view, the Bible clearly states that what God has put together no man should put asunder. Those aligned to different religious views see divorce as a wrong act. The secular society likewise feels divorce is wrong because of the guilt that accompanies it and the damage it causes.

There is a lot of dilemma in the divorce process. The parties involved go through a lot of mental, emotional and physical torture. The hot driving forces during this time are inevitable but it is better to take a breather before making a life-changing decision

Questions you need to ask yourself before filing for divorce

Deciding to take a divorce is not an easy thing as many would think. There are a lot of factors to consider, a lot of evaluation of your own self. Making a haste decision could prove catastrophic. I will hereby outline some of the questions you must ask yourself before divorcing your spouse.

What is your motivation?

Too tired with your marriage? Take time explore your marriage. What exactly is your motivation behind the divorce? What is making you feel to give up on a lifetime journey that you already vowed before God, relatives and friends?

If your motive is right, what are consequences of the decision made? Whether you are unhappy or hopeless or too tired to keep trying, understanding your reasoning helps you ground your decision. You will be able to examine yourself better and be able to make reasonable solid decision. Let not your selfishness be the cause to your marriage breaking.

Are there other options apart from divorce?

I am sure divorce is not your only option. There are so many other option that you could put into consideration. Visiting a counselor, or separating for a while could help you make sound decision before things falls apart. This could help you to defuse the complex you might be having about your marriage. Try harder, you are born to win. Remember quitters never win and winners never quit – no matter how bad the situation is.

Could you be the problem?

The nature of a human being is to always see the other side of the story. Rarely will you find yourself guilty. We like to blame the other person more than we blame ourselves. Sit down and have a conference with yourself. See whether you have contributed to breaking your marriage. Are there things that you are not doing right that could be hurting your spouse enough to make them want a divorce? Use this period to really reflect on your marriage life.

Think about some things you have done or said that could have contributed to your marital problems. If you changed some of the crude ways you relate to your spouse, could the marriage be saved? Instead of shifting all the blame onto your spouse, try to understand how you might have introduced some conflict into your relationship. Attempt to correct it as fast as you can, and then watch the outcome.

Could you stay if your spouse changes?

Your marriage can still be saved if you fought for it. Giving up would portray weakness. Ask yourself, “What needs to be changed in my marriage so I feel good staying in marriage? Look if you can sit down with your spouse and talk it over. If it’s an issue that can be easily resolved, you might be able to work through it together.

Do not try to demand change from your spouse because they may become resistant to your demand but rather, in a polite language, try to help them see the sense in it. Have this in mind – nothing is impossible. if your spouse changes his or her behaviour then you are obligated to forgive them and move on. Give them a chance to prove themselves, coz if you won’t it agains shows some bit of selfishness in you.

What support do I have, and what support do I need?

The road to divorce may not be as easy as you think. It can be financially and emotionally tasking. You’ll need all the support you can get. Take inventory of what type of support you currently have and what type of support you will need in the future. Family, friends, and a good therapist can help you weather just about any storm.

Reasons why you should not think of a divorce

Many people will think of a divorce at least one moment in life especially when things fall apart. For some, divorce is a constant threat; for others, it feels like the only hope. Trying to make sense why you should always evade the thought of a divorce, let us look at some of the major reasons why divorce is wrong.

1. Divorce hurts kids

As much as you want to have divorce, think first on the effect it will have on your kids. They should be your first motivation and you should at least stay in marriage for their sake. Try to weigh the effect of the divorce on your children. You might be able to get over it further down the line, but the children may never overcome it.

They will never get over the loss of their family, and their lives will never be the same. Never. When parents start living separate lives, a child’s world is shattered, and they must navigate through this new reality.

There will be long-lasting financial, emotional, developmental, academic, and psychological repercussions. For that kid, the fairy tale is officially over. Yes, kids do “move on,” but they are affected forever.

2. Once trust is broken you may never be able to trust again

Trust is very vital in life. Once trust is broken, trusting again becomes a problem. You will always be suspicious even in your new relationship. Instead of a divorce, you better think of getting help and frequently talk to your partner about it. Getting from one relationship to another will lower your trust on people. Every time you face a struggle, walking away would be so easy instead of solving the problems.

3. Custody battles are the worst experience

In a case where parents are fighting over children, everyone’s life becomes difficult. The children get to know who mum is fighting for and who dad is fighting for. This will develop a complex in the children. In addition, your children will now have two homes, not one. For the rest of their childhood, they will have to continually split themselves between two residences and will have to adjust every time they go from one to the other. Yes, custody arrangements might sound easy on paper, but are usually emotionally and mentally devastating.

Another problem is you will no longer have the children in your home full-time. You will be sharing those children with your ex-partner, and you will have to arrange your whole life to accommodate these arrangements. Walking away from a marriage because it’s not what you wanted will likely mean walking away from your kids and that impact is enormous.

4. The relationship between the two families is broken as well after divorce

Now this is a very difficult one, and painful for many people. You know when you got married, everyone said you were marrying your fiancé’s family, as well? Well, this truth also works in reverse. When you divorce your wife, you are also divorcing her family, in most cases.

Family members will often feel forced to take sides, and guess who they are going to pick? Of course they’ll choose the blood relation. So the relationship you built with your in-laws will probably end. I am not saying it happens all the time but most cases the relations breaks.in very few cases where you will find this relationship surviving.

5. Children of single parents don’t get the opportunity to see a model of what marriage is supposed to look like

Research has proved this right . Most of kids who are brought up by a single parent and from a divorce may not be able to make their own home. This is because they grow never seeing responsibilities being shared from their parent. In most cases children will do exactly what they saw their parent doing. Committing themselves to a marriage becomes a bit of problem to them. Very few people are able to overcome this challenge. Additionally, children of single parents seem to have more difficulty forming relationships with their peers. Once they mature, they are more likely to marry and have children early, then divorce; and girls from single-parent families have a greater chance of becoming single mothers as well.

6. Committing yourself to a second marriage becomes more harder

Making a new life after divorce is a bit difficult. You have a lot of struggles and luggage to carry before you stabilize. We hope and believe in second chances, and this often includes a second marriage. If a person is divorced, they will often want share their life with someone else and not to simply be alone. Research shows that 25% of second marriages fail and they are even harder than the first one. There are a number of reasons why second marriage is difficult. Let us look at them: ● They are less innocent Second marriages are less innocent and that makes them harder. Although they are trying to love again, both people are scared, and that’s not a good way to start a marriage. This might not apply to everyone, but for some people, it can definitely be a factor. ● They are more complicated than the first one Second marriages, especially when children are involved, are very complicated. Your kids must now deal with a new person in their life. There are so many variables, and trying to create a new family in the aftermath of a family breakup is never any easy. This is because when people marry for the first time they have ample time together before kids come. This time is very important because it helps them connect well to each other so even when kids come they are able to connect with them well. Step parents, on the other hand, must deal with children from the very start of their marriage and don’t have that all-important adjustment period.

7. There cases where you will lose your friends

In most cases when you are married, your spouse’s friends becomes your friends too and when you too divorce, friends are not able to know where to fall. Divorce will have a dramatic effect on your social life. Couples often feel more comfortable being friends with other couples, and making them switch to two singles instead of one deuce will shake everything up. If you are really close, the couple might choose to see you both at different times, but usually, friends feel forced to take sides and be loyal to their original friend. This doesn’t sound very nice, but it’s a reality.

Also, some couples don’t feel as comfortable hanging out with a divorced person. Their lonely presence serves as a reminder that things always don’t work out. Just as people often don’t know what to say to someone who is grieving the loss of a loved one, people are often awkward when confronted by a divorce. They don’t know what to say, so they stay away.

Divorce Lawyer Free Consultation

When you need a divorce lawyer in Utah, please call Ascent Law at (801) 676-5506. We will help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: (801) 676-5506

Ascent Law LLC

4.9 stars – based on 67 reviews

Recent Posts

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Source: https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/why-divorce-is-wrong/

[gonnagoandrunwiththehorses]

Why Divorce Is Wrong

Think of it. You choose this person for a lifetime. There were so many nice people you left out there and went ahead and married your spouse. That shows there was something different about him/her.

From a religious point of view, the Bible clearly states that what God has put together no man should put asunder. Those aligned to different religious views see divorce as a wrong act. The secular society likewise feels divorce is wrong because of the guilt that accompanies it and the damage it causes.

There is a lot of dilemma in the divorce process. The parties involved go through a lot of mental, emotional and physical torture. The hot driving forces during this time are inevitable but it is better to take a breather before making a life-changing decision

Questions you need to ask yourself before filing for divorce

Deciding to take a divorce is not an easy thing as many would think. There are a lot of factors to consider, a lot of evaluation of your own self. Making a haste decision could prove catastrophic. I will hereby outline some of the questions you must ask yourself before divorcing your spouse.

What is your motivation?

Too tired with your marriage? Take time explore your marriage. What exactly is your motivation behind the divorce? What is making you feel to give up on a lifetime journey that you already vowed before God, relatives and friends?

If your motive is right, what are consequences of the decision made? Whether you are unhappy or hopeless or too tired to keep trying, understanding your reasoning helps you ground your decision. You will be able to examine yourself better and be able to make reasonable solid decision. Let not your selfishness be the cause to your marriage breaking.

Are there other options apart from divorce?

I am sure divorce is not your only option. There are so many other option that you could put into consideration. Visiting a counselor, or separating for a while could help you make sound decision before things falls apart. This could help you to defuse the complex you might be having about your marriage. Try harder, you are born to win. Remember quitters never win and winners never quit – no matter how bad the situation is.

Could you be the problem?

The nature of a human being is to always see the other side of the story. Rarely will you find yourself guilty. We like to blame the other person more than we blame ourselves. Sit down and have a conference with yourself. See whether you have contributed to breaking your marriage. Are there things that you are not doing right that could be hurting your spouse enough to make them want a divorce? Use this period to really reflect on your marriage life.

Think about some things you have done or said that could have contributed to your marital problems. If you changed some of the crude ways you relate to your spouse, could the marriage be saved? Instead of shifting all the blame onto your spouse, try to understand how you might have introduced some conflict into your relationship. Attempt to correct it as fast as you can, and then watch the outcome.

Could you stay if your spouse changes?

Your marriage can still be saved if you fought for it. Giving up would portray weakness. Ask yourself, “What needs to be changed in my marriage so I feel good staying in marriage? Look if you can sit down with your spouse and talk it over. If it’s an issue that can be easily resolved, you might be able to work through it together.

Do not try to demand change from your spouse because they may become resistant to your demand but rather, in a polite language, try to help them see the sense in it. Have this in mind – nothing is impossible. if your spouse changes his or her behaviour then you are obligated to forgive them and move on. Give them a chance to prove themselves, coz if you won’t it agains shows some bit of selfishness in you.

What support do I have, and what support do I need?

The road to divorce may not be as easy as you think. It can be financially and emotionally tasking. You’ll need all the support you can get. Take inventory of what type of support you currently have and what type of support you will need in the future. Family, friends, and a good therapist can help you weather just about any storm.

Reasons why you should not think of a divorce

Many people will think of a divorce at least one moment in life especially when things fall apart. For some, divorce is a constant threat; for others, it feels like the only hope. Trying to make sense why you should always evade the thought of a divorce, let us look at some of the major reasons why divorce is wrong.

1. Divorce hurts kids

As much as you want to have divorce, think first on the effect it will have on your kids. They should be your first motivation and you should at least stay in marriage for their sake. Try to weigh the effect of the divorce on your children. You might be able to get over it further down the line, but the children may never overcome it.

They will never get over the loss of their family, and their lives will never be the same. Never. When parents start living separate lives, a child’s world is shattered, and they must navigate through this new reality.

There will be long-lasting financial, emotional, developmental, academic, and psychological repercussions. For that kid, the fairy tale is officially over. Yes, kids do “move on,” but they are affected forever.

2. Once trust is broken you may never be able to trust again

Trust is very vital in life. Once trust is broken, trusting again becomes a problem. You will always be suspicious even in your new relationship. Instead of a divorce, you better think of getting help and frequently talk to your partner about it. Getting from one relationship to another will lower your trust on people. Every time you face a struggle, walking away would be so easy instead of solving the problems.

3. Custody battles are the worst experience

In a case where parents are fighting over children, everyone’s life becomes difficult. The children get to know who mum is fighting for and who dad is fighting for. This will develop a complex in the children. In addition, your children will now have two homes, not one. For the rest of their childhood, they will have to continually split themselves between two residences and will have to adjust every time they go from one to the other. Yes, custody arrangements might sound easy on paper, but are usually emotionally and mentally devastating.

Another problem is you will no longer have the children in your home full-time. You will be sharing those children with your ex-partner, and you will have to arrange your whole life to accommodate these arrangements. Walking away from a marriage because it’s not what you wanted will likely mean walking away from your kids and that impact is enormous.

4. The relationship between the two families is broken as well after divorce

Now this is a very difficult one, and painful for many people. You know when you got married, everyone said you were marrying your fiancé’s family, as well? Well, this truth also works in reverse. When you divorce your wife, you are also divorcing her family, in most cases.

Family members will often feel forced to take sides, and guess who they are going to pick? Of course they’ll choose the blood relation. So the relationship you built with your in-laws will probably end. I am not saying it happens all the time but most cases the relations breaks.in very few cases where you will find this relationship surviving.

5. Children of single parents don’t get the opportunity to see a model of what marriage is supposed to look like

Research has proved this right . Most of kids who are brought up by a single parent and from a divorce may not be able to make their own home. This is because they grow never seeing responsibilities being shared from their parent. In most cases children will do exactly what they saw their parent doing. Committing themselves to a marriage becomes a bit of problem to them. Very few people are able to overcome this challenge. Additionally, children of single parents seem to have more difficulty forming relationships with their peers. Once they mature, they are more likely to marry and have children early, then divorce; and girls from single-parent families have a greater chance of becoming single mothers as well.

6. Committing yourself to a second marriage becomes more harder

Making a new life after divorce is a bit difficult. You have a lot of struggles and luggage to carry before you stabilize. We hope and believe in second chances, and this often includes a second marriage. If a person is divorced, they will often want share their life with someone else and not to simply be alone. Research shows that 25% of second marriages fail and they are even harder than the first one. There are a number of reasons why second marriage is difficult. Let us look at them: ● They are less innocent Second marriages are less innocent and that makes them harder. Although they are trying to love again, both people are scared, and that’s not a good way to start a marriage. This might not apply to everyone, but for some people, it can definitely be a factor. ● They are more complicated than the first one Second marriages, especially when children are involved, are very complicated. Your kids must now deal with a new person in their life. There are so many variables, and trying to create a new family in the aftermath of a family breakup is never any easy. This is because when people marry for the first time they have ample time together before kids come. This time is very important because it helps them connect well to each other so even when kids come they are able to connect with them well. Step parents, on the other hand, must deal with children from the very start of their marriage and don’t have that all-important adjustment period.

7. There cases where you will lose your friends

In most cases when you are married, your spouse’s friends becomes your friends too and when you too divorce, friends are not able to know where to fall. Divorce will have a dramatic effect on your social life. Couples often feel more comfortable being friends with other couples, and making them switch to two singles instead of one deuce will shake everything up. If you are really close, the couple might choose to see you both at different times, but usually, friends feel forced to take sides and be loyal to their original friend. This doesn’t sound very nice, but it’s a reality.

Also, some couples don’t feel as comfortable hanging out with a divorced person. Their lonely presence serves as a reminder that things always don’t work out. Just as people often don’t know what to say to someone who is grieving the loss of a loved one, people are often awkward when confronted by a divorce. They don’t know what to say, so they stay away.

Divorce Lawyer Free Consultation

When you need a divorce lawyer in Utah, please call Ascent Law at (801) 676-5506. We will help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: (801) 676-5506

Ascent Law LLC

4.9 stars – based on 67 reviews

Recent Posts

Do Medical Bills Die With You?

Environmental Litigation

Can I Be Denied A Job Because of Bankruptcy?

How To Get A Divorce When You Are Struggling Financially

Tax Refund and Bankruptcy

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Source: https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/why-divorce-is-wrong/

[forficdrafts]

Philip pushed the door open and allowed Theresa to blow past him into the hospital. They’d gotten the first bus they could find tickets for, and the ride there was painful. He’d wanted to hold her and tell her everything would be okay, but he wasn’t sure if he could and he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. Instead, he grabbed her hand and she leaned her head on his shoulder until they made it to the station.

Now, she was walking with a purpose, and he had to focus to keep up with her. She was following the signs to make it to the right place, and after a few turns they made it to the reception desk.

“Hi. I’m looking for Zaidee Brasier?” Theresa asked, nervously leaning into the desk.

“Are you family?”

“I’m her daughter,” she said curtly. He could detect a hint of frustration.

“Right. She’s the second to the last door on the right here.” The nurse gestured down the hall, and Theresa took off in that direction.

“Thank you,” he said to the nurse before following Theresa down the hallway. He could see her dad leaning against a wall and realized that Theresa had picked up her pace to get to him.

“Dad!” she said, running to him and throwing her arms around him.

“Hi, love,” he said, wrapping her in a tight hug. “The neurologist is in now. They’re doing some tests, but it seems like a relapse. A bit worse than they’ve been before.”

Philip thought back on what she’d told him about relapses. It could be anything from confusion to loss of coordination, and it could be mild or quite severe.

“How bad? What were the symptoms?” she said, stepping back and crossing her arms.

“It started with vision problems, and her hands were numb. She started having trouble eating and drinking, so I thought it best to come in.”

Theresa nodded and shuffled her feet as she processed all of the information. “Can I talk to the neurologist when they’re finished? I think I have a few questions.”

“Of course. I was hoping you’d be here to talk to him. You’re good with questions.” Hubert looked up at him and stuck out his hand. “Philip. I’m glad you’re here,” he said, sounding totally sincere. It was a departure from their usual banter, and it caught him off guard.

“I’m glad I could be here,” he said, looking over at Theresa who was smiling at them. He could see in her eyes that she was worried, and all he wanted to do was hold her and reassure her that everything would be fine.

The door to the room opened, and a man who he assumed was the doctor walked out.

“You must be Theresa,” the doctor said reaching out to shake Theresa’s hand, “I’m Dr. Andrews.” Theresa gave him a confused look, and he smiled. “Your mum was telling me about you, and I recognized you straight away. She’s very proud.”

Theresa smiled, and Philip could see her blinking rapidly. She was trying not to cry, and it broke his heart.

 Theresa, Hubert, and the doctor started discussing things, and Philip took in the scene in front of him as awe washed over him. She was so on top of things. He knew how involved she’d become in her mom’s health, but watching her take charge of the conversation with the doctor was something else. He was simultaneously proud of her and sad that someone so young had no choice but to be well versed in the relapse symptoms of MS.

The doctor shook both of their hands and went off down the hall, and Theresa gave Philip a shy look.

“I need to run home for a few things if you’re okay here, Theresa?” Hubert said, looked up at Theresa for confirmation.

“Of course. They’re bringing food by in a bit, but I can handle that.” Theresa gave Hubert a kiss, and he was off. She turned back to Philip and let out a sigh.

“I’m going to go in and talk to Mum.”

He nodded and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Do you want me to go in with you? Or go find you some tea or coffee?”

“A coffee would be lovely. That way I can get her settled,” she said with a soft smile. She’d worked so hard to seem composed, but he could see the signs of worry.

He nodded and reached out to grab her hand. “Whatever you need, Theresa.” Her guard slipped a bit, and she squeezed his hand back. The tension from their fight was still there, but he couldn’t help himself: he leaned in and kissed her cheek. “I’ll be right back,” he whispered before he went in search for coffee.

It turned out to be a more complicated task than he’d anticipated, but with the help of some nurses, he finally found something that passed for coffee. He found his way back to the room, and as he stood quietly in the doorway, he could hear Theresa talking with her mum. Theresa had a cup of fruit in hand, and it looked like she was helping her mum eat.

“Do you feel like you can eat some more?” Theresa asked softly.

“Maybe another bite.” Zaidee, her voice sounding strained. She looked especially weak and tired propped up in the hospital bed.

“Good,” Theresa said, getting another spoonful and feeding it to her. She’s amazing, he thought to himself. She just selflessly and without complaint took care of everything. He decided it might be time to make his presence known, so he stepped into the room and cleared his throat.

“I found something that is alleged to be coffee,” he said passing on of the cups to Theresa.

“Thanks,” she said, taking it from him and taking a sip. Her immediate grimace made him chuckle.

They sat together and chatted with her mum as much as she was able. Philip could tell Zaidee was having trouble forming some words, and Theresa had to keep giving her water. Every time she struggled with a word or paused in the middle of a sentence, he could see Theresa tense, and it broke his heart to watch. He forgot sometimes how much stress she was under, but she always handled herself with so much grace. He thought back to their earlier exchange and felt a wave of guilt. Had he been too harsh with her?

“How’s everyone in here?” Hubert said, walking into the room with them.

“We have caffeine and mom did a good job of eating,” Theresa said, winking at her mum who smiled back.

“I’m glad to hear it,” he said, pulling up a chair beside them. “I have everything I need to stay here for the night if you two want to go back to the house for a while to get some sleep?”

Philip thought it sounded like a good idea, mostly because he knew Theresa had to be exhausted, but he took his lead from her.

“Are you sure you don’t need me here?” she asked her dad earnestly.

“I’m sure. You can come back after you’ve had some sleep.”

_______________________________________________________

Theresa closed and locked the door behind them. A mostly silent trip back to her childhood home had given her some time to ponder how she should proceed. She wanted to clear things up with him and resolve the conflict… even if it meant having her fears confirmed.

“Tea?” he said, giving her a hint of a smile.  She nodded in response, realizing how nice that sounded. “Right. I’ll go put a kettle on. You should go sit for a while. I know you’re tired.” His arm moved to reach for her, but he hesitated and returned it to his side. Her eyes stung with tears she’d been keeping in all night, but she refused to let that happen right now.

She found spot on the couch and settled in. Suddenly comforted by her familiar surroundings, she noticed just how tired she really was. She had to fight it, though. They had to talk this through before she could really rest.

“Do you want it black?” he asked, leaning his head around the kitchen wall.

“Yes, please.”

He nodded and retreated to the kitchen only to return a few moments later with two cups full of tea. She tucked her legs underneath her and reached out for her mug.

“Thanks for this,” she said, watching as he took a seat beside her and settled in. They sipped their tea in silence for a while, and she thought about how to restart this conversation with him.

“Philip can we…” she started, stopping when she realized she didn’t know how she wanted to continue. “I think we should… talk about… everything.”

“Theresa, it’s quite late. Wouldn’t you rather we discuss in the morning? I know you’re exhausted.”

“Well we’re both tired, but I’d like to clear this up now if you feel up to it,” she rushed out, feeling her throat tighten at the admission that she was tired. “And I realize this isn’t very fair to you with everything happening with Mum, but don’t feel like you have to hold back… or anything like that. I want you to be honest.”

He looked down at his lap, seemingly taking in what she was saying. A few moments of silence passed between them before he finally looked back up at her.

“I just… I can’t understand how you came to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with you.” He sounded more hurt than angry this time, and it made it even more difficult to proceed. Speaking in anger was much easier than this. He looked like he wanted to continue, so she let him. “I love you and I have loved you from the start. I don’t know what else I can do to convince you.”

“The last time we talked about our future, you seemed so much… less sure than you had in the past. And you were so attentive and…careful with me. It felt like something had changed.”

“As for what I said about marriage, it meant nothing. I was a bit caught off guard by the conversation, and I didn’t mean to trouble you. I’ve intended to marry you since the night of that first Christmas ball,” he said, staring off across the room. “And as for things changing after your surgery,” he paused, sounding a bit like he was on the verge of tears, “I’ve given it some thought and you’re right. Something did change. I realized exactly how much you meant to me.” He turned to her and took her hands in his. “Watching them wheel you away… hearing the doctor say you should pull through. It was the most terrifying night of my life.” He bent down to kiss her hands and continued. “If I’ve been looking at you differently it’s not because I think something’s wrong with you. It’s because I know now exactly how precious you are to me.”

Her eyes were stinging now at the realization that she’d so totally misunderstood him. He seemed so earnest, but the nagging feeling that he couldn’t possibly still want to marry her remained.

“I just… I feel like all of this has to be wearing on you, Philip. And I can’t stand the idea of you sticking by my side to be noble… In spite of everything. I wouldn’t want that for you.” She pulled one of her hands away to rub her eye and stop a tear from falling.

Almost from the moment she’d received a diagnosis, the thought of any future husband growing to resent her for her condition had plagued her. Conversations with doctors about her reproductive prospects had always been laced with the implication that she’d have a hard time finding someone who would accept her in her current state. After years of hearing them, the doubts had become a part of her. And now that she was so deeply in love with Philip, it pained her to think that he might eventually grow tired of dealing with it. It pained her to think that he could, after years of insisting he didn’t mind, decide that he wanted a wife who could give him children. Above all, she wanted him to be happy, and she worried that she could never truly give him the life he wanted.

“I don’t understand, sweetheart. There’s nothing noble about it. I just love you and want to be with you,” he said emphatically. “What can I do to make you believe me… or what have I done to make you doubt me?” His tone softened when he looked up at her.

“Nothing!” she exclaimed, finally giving in to the emotion that had been threatening since the conversation began. “You’ve done nothing wrong and everything right. You’re so kind to me.”

“Then what,” he reached up to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear, “is giving you these ideas?”

“I… It’s always been implied that anyone who, on the off chance, decided to marry me would have to do so at great personal expense. They might have to give up the chance for children. Then my mum got sicker, and I became an even bigger mess. It’s not anything you’ve done or not done. I just find it hard… to imagine anyone wanting to marry me.”

Silence filled the space between them again. He looked totally stunned, his brow furrowed with confusion. She felt her cheeks flush thinking about the embarrassing admission she’d just made, and she looked down at her lap. This had always been her own personal hang up, but now it was out in the open for his scrutiny.

Philip reached out and placed a finger under her chin, tilting her head up slightly and looking into her eyes. “Have people said that to you?” he asked, anger practically dripping from his words.

“Not in so many words, but it’s been implied… heavily and repeatedly.”

A pained expression appeared on his face, and he tangled his fingers in the hair on the back of his head. Silence took over again, and she felt the need to reassure him.

“You never made me feel that way,” she said, reaching over and gently placing a hand on his knee. He took it and kissed it, holding it tightly between his own.  

“I’m so sorry, Theresa. I didn’t even think…”

“You couldn’t have known,” she all but whispered.

He took another moment before reaching out and pulling her into a hug. She wasn’t sure at first, but she soon felt herself melt into him. She buried her face in his neck and allowed herself to be comforted by his arms. His hand made slow and steady passes up and down her back, and he kissed the side of her head between whispers that he was sorry. She slowly but surely collected herself and when she felt like she could continue, she pulled away from him, keeping a hold on one of his hands. He took in a deep breath and let it out.

“Sweetheart, I need you to listen to me very carefully.” He scooted closer to her and placed his free hand on her leg. She nodded at him, not wanting to interrupt. “I love you. I am totally and completely in love with you, and I have never for a moment considered any alternative to spending the rest of my life with you.” He paused and studied her to make sure she was listening, so she nodded again to let him know she was. “This condition you’ve had to live with and the comments people have made… I can’t imagine what it’s been like, but I’m not doing this in spite of anything. I want you and whatever comes along with you. All of it has made you into the wonderful, kind, and loving person you are.” He reached up and placed a hand on her cheek. “Nothing noble. Nothing I’m giving up. I’m the lucky one in this arrangement.”

Something clicked in her brain. In spite of everything, all of the drama and heartache she would inevitably heap on him in their life together, he earnestly considered himself lucky to be with her. And that was, after all, what love was supposed to be. She’d seen that in a very personal way as her mum’s illness progressed. Each and every day her father had displayed totally selfless love and care for his wife. And at the end of the day, it didn’t create resentment or tension. He still worshiped the ground she walked on because he truly loved her and that wasn’t something that could be shaken by circumstance. And that, she finally realized, was what she had with Philip.

It took a moment for her to sort through all of her thoughts, but when she finally made sense of everything she realized he was waiting for her to say something. The fact was she didn’t have the words, so she pulled him to her and kissed him.

“You understand?” he whispered before leaning in to kiss her again.  She nodded and wrapped her arms around him.

“I’m sorry I’ve made this so difficult.”

“I’m sorry I was cross,” he said, wiping a tear from her cheek with his thumb.

“And I’m really glad you were there with me tonight,” she said, patting his leg and sitting up straight. “I feel so much calmer when you’re around.”

“Well I’m always going to be around. No matter what.” He looked over at his watch and back at her. “It’s getting really late and I know you wanted to get some sleep before we go back to the hospital.”

She grabbed his wrist and checked the time, letting out a heavy sigh when she saw how late it was. “I could use a nap. Even if it’s just for a couple hours.”

“Do you want me to use the guest room?”

“Maybe both of us could sleep in there?” she said, searching his face for a response. “I know that didn’t go well the last time, but I’m so exhausted. There’s really no risk of anything untoward going on,” she quipped, rubbing at her eyes.

“And I can keep my pants on this time,” he said, eliciting a laugh from her.

“I would appreciate that. And I really don’t want to be away from you right now.”

He leaned in and kissed her again before they set about getting ready for a short sleep before they returned to the hospital. When she walked into the guest bedroom, she found him resting on top of the covers with his back against the headboard.

“You’re looking mighty comfortable,” she said, tossing an extra blanket at him.

“I would be even more comfortable if you were with me.”

She crawled into bed with him and under the blanket he was holding up for her. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her into his side so she could rest her head on his chest.

“Is that going to be warm enough for you?” he asked, pulling the blanket around her.

“Mmhmm,” she murmured, wrapping her arm around his torso and turning her head so she could place a kiss on his chest.

“I love you,” she said softly, tightening her arm around his waist.

“I love you, too,” he whispered, leaning down to kiss the top of her head.

She’d always loved to hear him say those words, but now she felt like she really understood what he meant. She let herself relax into him and it wasn’t long before she was resting in the arms of the man would always love her, no matter what.