#i was still on the call with my friend so i couldnt think straight and i wanted to give this my full attention when responding

[todayisafridaynight]

SO!

Pretty good show honestly. I think it may perhaps come off a little underwhelming compared to last time because they released the full trailers early, so it was chiefly just talking, but I was still pleased.

The only thing I really wanted out of it was one (1) of my predictions coming true and one (1) surprise, and well, between the Watase Family and Nishitani...... THREE!!!!!, that's exactly what I got. Kiryu looking up at the sky like he's struggling to remember who he (allegedly) proposed to is hilarious though same energy as Jo not remembering Ikumi's name ghdshgkdhf the exchange kind of reminded me of Ichi talking to Arakawa as well... the "don't say it in the past tense" one you know the one...

Also next summit in September so that'll be a lovely birthday present :) For Me :)

Also x2 I love seeing which of my asks you decide to reblog. Whether it's because of the actual ask or because of my commentary it always feels like a win (<- normal to want and possible to achieve)

even if Considerably underwhelming, what information's been given IS causin a lotta buzz right now so !!! pretty successful summit in some regards ( ❁´◡`❁;;)

i just wish we got to see LAD8 gameplay, that's probably the only thing i really wanted but i guess there is still the fall summit (and for your birthday's sake i hope it's a real banger one)!

[silverislander]

man im just remembering this one girl i hung out with in high school who was just fucking. wildly lesbophobic. letting her know i was questioning was the worst mistake i made in hs lol

[heartfullofleeches]

[brief mentions of non-consensual touching]

I kinda wanna flesh out yan cheater and "cheater" reader more. Fuel up the angst. I'm thinking high school sweethearts who promised to be each other's first as they went off to college. Yan sees the whole thing with reader with another person and goes to a friend for comfort. The friend sees this as an opportunity to tear the two apart as Yan was previously going to join their band instead of a straight shot to college. A few drinks down they're kissing the first person who makes eye contact with them at the party, forgetting all about their woes and promises - and skipping town without closure or a proper goodbye to their lover.

Couple years down the line and they're now a big shot - carrying little resemblance of the person they once were. Shows sold out in every venue and a different fan on their lap every night. They all have some feature that reminds Yan of their former flame which they muddle over to the very day their paths cross again.

Their latest tour leads them to a familiar place. A town where nothing ever happened and everything stayed the same. They learn their ex is still working hard for their degree and takes night shifts at a nearby gas station. The tension is thick from the moment they walk in. They didn't even want to be there, but it was the only station in close proximity. What do you even say to someone who's caused so much heart break after all this time?

"That'll be 21.10... Cash or credit?"

That's it.... After everything you put them through. After all those nights they spent crying over you - and craving your warmth in their bed. The future that you pictured together. The life you dream of in each other's arms. You tarnished what little hope they had - and that's all you could say to them...

"A "how've you been?" would've been nice...."

"I have nothing to say to the person who abandoned me. Can't even say that much since you hardly remind me of them."

Really classy from the one who caused this mess in the first place.

"Don't act like you're free of any guilt in this... I saw you with them that day... You seemed a lot more cozy with that stranger than you ever did with me."

"Stranger, what are you...." Your eyes dart around the room as the gears in your head click. Pulling out your phone, you fight back tears as you show them a picture of that stranger. "Is this who you're talking about?...."

Please say no....

They scoff. "So you do know who I'm talking about. You still together or did you run off with someone else same as you did me?"

The sadness and pain just... vanishes. All these years, you thought you had been the problem. Made to many promises. Loved then too much or too little. From what it seemed like now - they were the one who never loved you enough.

"That's my cousin....."

They didn't hear you - they couldn't. Couldnt acknowledge that maybe...

"What?"

"That's my fucking cousin, asshole."

Everything they ever believed was the painstaking truth - was a only a cruel misunderstanding.

"We hadn't seen each other's since we were kids. Their mom had just died... I tried calling you when I got home, but you weren't there. Did you seriously think I cheated on you? And you just ran away?..."

"I....you...." Were their everything. When they saw you that night the pressure of every problem weighting down on them finally snapped. They couldn't think rationally at that time - if only if they'd put the faith in you they always prided themself in having.

"You coward...." You throw their change across the counter, adding issult to injury as you point for the door.

"Get out of my store. Get out of my life."

"Y/n, wait..please."

"I said... GET OUT!"

The foundation of their new self crumbles. After your alleged betrayal they rebuilt themselves from the ground up as an overconfident, self serving individual, but like everything else to this point - it was all a lie. There were always those days they wondered "what if". What if they had stayed. What if they had tried to fix what had broken in your relationship. Knowing the truth, those fantasies return with vengeance. The truth would've came sooner and the wounds to mend would have been lesser. You'd talk over the miscommunication and they'd apologize fully by taking you out to your favorite restaurant. You'd start school together the upcoming fall. You'd kiss and make love and enjoy fleeting youth as one. There'd always be rough patches, but in the end you always had each other.

That's how things should have been.

They spiral - crawling to the closest bar to relinquish their pain the only way they knew how beyond finding someone new to bed. The thought of sleeping with anyone that wasn't you made them nearly lose the alcohol poisoning their system. Had you been dating since then? Had you given yourself to someone? Did they make you feel loved and saved - just as they should've

By the end of the night they wound up too drunk to even stand on their own feet. The bartender asked for a number to call to have someone pick them up. They gave the only number they could remember after all these years - and intoxicated.

The drive to their hotel room is quiet. You had nothing to say while they had the world - but none of it was anything you wanted to hear. You just wanted this night to be over so you could go back to forgetting they ever existed.

You help them into their room and give them some water from the sink. Despite everything they've done, you didn't have the heart to leave them like they did you.

"Drink. You need to flush out your system. You'll probably have a headache in the morning, but that's none of my concern."

".....how many people have you slept with, Y/n?"

You place the cup on the nightstand. "This isn't the type of conversation we should have right now."

"Have you been with anyone - or are you still waiting for that special person? I've done a lot of shit I'm not proud of, but at least they've given me experience. I can make your first the best. I can make love to you better than anyone. I already know you better than they do...."

Their hands creep around your waist, hugging your midsection same as they use to on school nights when their parents forbade guests - and you crawled through their window anyway. They always held you like you meant the universe to them. You still do.

Their lips gloss over your exposed stomach as your shirt crawls upwards, heavy tears staining your skin. "Just one night. That's all I need to prove myself to you. We were made for each other. Let's forget about the past for one night and pick up where we left off. A promise is still a promise - even if it's broken.

Their fingers dip below your waistband. You immediately shove them off you and to the floor. "Are you fucking insane?! You can't forget something like what you put me through. I've been so afraid of connecting with anyone because I'm scared they'd just run off like you did. I'm finally becoming me again- and I won't let you take that back from me. Don't call me."

The door slams as you storm out - reverberations their sole companion in their misery. This is the same thing they did to you. They deserve to be alone, to suffer - but they can't. It'll kill them. They can't live without you...and soon enough you won't be to live without them. You're soulmates, meant to be. They have power now - influence. They can support you however you need-

And destory everything that gets in the way of your happy ending.

[mangosrar]

cerebral

matt sturniolo x fem reader

this isn’t proof read 😛😛

suggestive ???

i knew this would happen. it happened with the last guy i went on a date with, and the guy before that. they just werent him. it was such a horrible feeling to sit across from someone in a restaurant searching their face for a more familiar one, one that had memories etched into his smile lines, one that had a piece of you with him. but the feeling of having him, but not being abel to have him, wasnt much better.

it was hard, finding the middle ground between my ex and my best friend. we both promised that if we ever broke up nothing would change between us. but it did. i was more cautious of him. i picked my words carefully when they left my mouth. i studied his body language whenever i was close to him. he was like a ticking time bomb. he could be set off at any minute.

lazy footsteps could be heard before i saw matt pad his way into my living room before he plopped himself down next to me. he let himself in. of course he did. he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees before turning to look at me with a sad smile on his face.

"you okay?" his voice was hushed. like if he spoke too loud i might shatter. i just nodded with a gloomy smile on my face.

"so why do you look so sad y/n?" he knew me so well and i hated it. i couldnt differentiate wether he knew me so well because he was my bestfriend for so long, or if because he was the love of my life at one point.

"just the date. i dont think you wanna hear about it" i let out a sad laugh as i spoke. his eyebrows furrowed for a second before he replied.

"youre still my bestfriend y/n. just because youre my ex too doesn’t mean you cant tell me about the new guys" he sounded genuine. like he didnt care about the new guys. like he wasnt mad about them. but he should be. i wish he was. i wish he was repulsed at the thought of me ever being able to move on from him. but he wasnt. i kept my eyes trained to the ground. there was a heavy silence as he searched my face. i could feel his wandering eyes burning holes into me. like he could see straight into my brain.

"he called me cerebral matt" i paused, eyes still boring holes into the carpet beneath me. "i didnt even know what it meant" i raised my eyebrows and let out a huff of air through my nose. "would it have killed him to call me pretty instead?" i finally looked up at matt to see his eyes still on me. a look on his face that i couldnt decipher. i hated that he could see my walls crumbling.

"you are pretty y/n" he cooed, his voice so sickly sweet. matts hand moved onto my leg. rubbing slow circles with his thumb. i hated this. i hated that he could sit there and tell me this and not be mine. how could he promise to soften every edge and hold the world to its best when he was killing me.

"you cant say thing like this matt" i pushed his hand off my leg and just like that the walls were built back up again. his eyes dropped to his hand that was now slumped onto the sofa then back up to my face. he knew this was coming.

"why not?" he knew why. he just wanted to hear me say it. i paused momentarily. weighing up my options. deciding wether to say the real reason or to just leave it hanging in the air and say something that we both know is a lie. i didnt know where i stood with matt. he would treat me like in still his girlfriend in some ways, caring for me, being a shoulder for me to cry on and always being there to hold my hand when i needed him to, but he would drop it after a few seconds, leaving cold, heart shaped scars in his wake.

"because im still in love with you" tears were threatening to spill as i spoke. his face didnt move a fraction. he didnt even blink, just staring at me like he was deep in thought. this was old news for him and he probably could have beat me to it but atleast he was kind enough to let me say it. matt didnt even speak. he just kept staring at me as he brought a gantle hand up to the side of my face.

before i could even pull his hand off my face his lips were on mine. i didnt have the type of self control to pull away. i leaned into him, craving the closeness, luckily he got the hint and pulled me into his lap so i was straddling him and the kiss grew heavy, his tongue forcing its way into my mouth, his wandering hands grabbing and groping whatever skin he could. he moved his mouth off mine and began trailing wet kisses down my neck and jawline making my breath hitch and my eyes close.

he began sucking and biting the skin on the side of my neck making me while. my hands found home in his hair, tugging softly, earning a satisfied hum from matt before he spoke against me.

"lets just get back together mh?" i was so lost in the way his lips felt on my skin i didnt even register what he had said until a few seconds later. i immediately pulled his head away from me and stared at him with wide eyes.

"what?" surprise evident in the sound of my voice.

"i dont see what the problem is, we both still love each other and i hate seeing you go on dates with shitty guys so why not?" i couldnt even reply to him. i just stared at him with my wouth hung open. what the fuck.

"if you dont want to, ill stop, but if you do, just say the words and ill give you whatever you want." he sounded so sure.

"yes" that was all he needed before he smirked and brought his lips to mine again, kissing me, hot and heavy.

the kiss was sloppy and desperate, both of us urgent for a touch we craved so badly. he ground his hips up, pressing his hard on into my heat making me whine into his mouth. i felt him smile against my lips before he kissed down my chin and throat before licking a stripe up it, pulling a moan from me, causing my hips to stutter against his involuntarily.

make up sex is good for the soul.

pt 2 coming soon an it’s spicy 🤓

taglist: @christinarowie332 @biimpanicking @soursturniolo @freshlovehacker @urmyslxt @kitaysworld @kvtie444 @chrisenthusiast @flowerxbunnie @mattsd0ll @itsjennarose @hearttshapedkisses @lovingsturniolo

[yunppeo]

was it so casual to you?

pairing: choi yeonjun x reader.

warnings: none…? its a bit suggestive but youll live, uhh, angst angst

word count: 1.0k :p

NOW PLAYING: casual by chappell roan🎵

a casual night out for you consists of being with yeonjun.

someone you dont want to keep seeing but you always find yourself driving over to his place, sometimes even in the car with him as he picked u up.

and here u are, strapping your bra back on in the backseat of his car.

his hands remaining on your body, not going anywhere. you were used to his warm touch, but sometimes it felt different. like today, something felt.. off.

he seems to take note of your odd expression and spoke up.

“whats up..?” he sits up, getting closer to your face as he tucks your hair behind your ear.

“nothing.” he stares into your eyes for a moment, as if he knows youre lying.

“okay.” he kisses your cheek. normally this would make u happy, you would smile brightly but after finding out what hes been saying… you werent so happy anymore.

you bit your lip to contain yourself from saying anything else.

it was quiet the ride back to the dorms, you both felt the awkwardness albeit still didnt speak up. the only noise you found comfort in was the rain. you looked out the window admiring the falling rain.

he stops in front of your dorm building. you dreaded the idea of walking into your dorm after hanging out with him, knowing your roommate will be disappointed.

all of your friends have told you how much he was a bad guy. you didnt listen.

you clear your throat and open the car door, hesitating to look at him. “ill see you later.”

he wanted to tell you something but you had already closed the door and gone to walk inside.

“y/n.” your roommate greets you as you walk into your dorm and lay against the closed door.

“i hate myself for letting this drag on for so long.” your voice starts to quiver as tears start to fall. you slid down the door as hugged your legs.

your roommate immediately goes to comfort you.

“its hard being casual.”

your roommate pats your back, hugs you, does anything to comfort you. she makes you stand up and sit on the bed. she wipes your tears before going to her phone to text all of your other friends.

“im convinced he put you under a spell or something.” she laughs awkwardly trying to lighten the mood.

you stay quiet before the door slams open.

“y/n. are you okay? did he say thing to hurt you? ill set his dorm on fire i dont care.” your friend, hanni, immediately goes up to you.

“im fine, hanni.”

“thats bs girl.” she sighs as she examines you as if you were sick. “its gonna be okay.”

“y/n, i know youre gonna hate me for saying this but you need to talk to him.” danielle chines in, she looks at you with empathy.

“ill think about it.”

-

“y/n!” yeonjun calls out. its been a week since u last saw him. you ignored him hoping he would take the hint.

he didnt.

he ran and stood in front of you to stop you from walking. “you havent been answering my texts.. or calls.. are you ignoring me..?”

you sigh, trying to look for a way out of this conversation.

“lets talk about it later.”

“talk about what?” there was silence. “y/n?..”

“later, yeonjun.” you walk off, looking at people whispering about your interaction with yeonjun just now.

-

as you were walking to your dorm you noticed him standing right infront of your door. you wished you could have turned around and left. but you knew you couldnt avoid this any longer.

“y/n!” his face lights up a bit. making your heart clench.

you dont reply and just open the door to your dorm. you knew your roommates werent going to be there for anytime soon. it was the perfect time.. to talk.

you silently invited him in and he obliged.

the moment he closed the door, his hands went straight to your waist, leaving kisses on your neck.

“no, yeonjun.” you politely shove him off you.

“whats up with you!?”

“whats up with me?! me?!?” you scoff stare at him, shaking your head.

“you said no attachment, yeonjun. why are we doing this?” you look him in the eye, waiting for a response.

“y/n.. i..”

“what, yeonjun? am i not ‘just a girl you bang on your couch’? hm?” his eyebrows furrow. he didnt know you had found out about the things he was saying.

“say something, yeonjun.”

“im sorry.”

“thats all you have to say?” you scoff. taking deep breaths. “after you told me ‘we’re not together.’ what were we then? friends with benefits? what?”

he stayed there silent. he didnt know what to say.

“i hate you, yeonjun.”

“y/n wait.. hear me out.”

“no?! why should i? you kept acting like we were dating, but then you go on dates with other girls? kissing them, buying them gifts…”

he licks his lips. he had been caught.

“we’ve been doing this for how long, yeonjun..? ive met your family.. your friends.. all for nothing.”

“but i do like you, y/n..”

“clearly not enough.”

there was more slience.

“was it so casual to you..?”

“it wasnt! no trust me, y/n.”

“stop lying, yeonjun. i know everything.” you finally had enough of him.

“just go, yeonjun. dont ever contact me ever again. i dont want to see you ever again. get out.”

“wait y/n please.” he pleads.

“get out.” tears start flowing, yeonjun felt the need to hold you close to comfort you but he knew you wouldnt want that. from him atleast.

he took one last good look at you. taking in all your beautiful features. before walking out never speaking to u ever again.

it was.

[jazzyblusnowflake]

OMG hi…I really like your art and was wondering if you wanna be mutuals??????????? Also tell me about your MD ships :3c

honey we are dating- .....okay yknow what- HI PRETTY & TALENTED LADY- yess i will absolutely love toooo 🙈💕💕💕💕💕

also lets see uhhh okay this is an excuse for me to just... expload-

keep in mind not every ship is meant for all of you so dont badger me about stuff that ISNT CANON or YOU DONT SHIP. contrary to whatever you believe, when somone posts about THEIR ships, nobody wants to hear about you NOT shipping it on THAT EXACT post.

hang in there, this gon be a long one >:p

First off we are starting strong with Nuzi- Biscuitbites obviously thats a given- these two just have too much to be said about why and how they make eachother the best version of eachother, whether they ever became canon or not- they fit like puzzle pieces- they lessen eachothers negative traits by being their for eachother.

next is Vuzi- Violentviolet, they are my favorite kind of enemies to lovers 😔 but its also tragic smh. kinda pissed off at how V always does something good in Uzis favor only when she is LITERALLY PASSED OUT- either in the camp ep on the bus or in Alices lab. like damn ofFUCKINGcourse Uzi wouldnt know she cares about her 😭😭😭

envuzi- Violentbitingbiscuits, i love these goobers with all my heart- they deserve the best 😔💕💕💕💕

envy - [does this poor ship just NOT have an exclusive FINDABLE tag name??? im calling them GoldenMemories...], i like to think that if they were in the manor still, and nothing bad had ever happened, these two would be comforting eachother in the healthiest way possible. V needs someone like N and N is just adorable like that uwu

Next we have JxTessa/Jessa- [calling them Fancyblades cuz why not-] J deserves some closure for the shit shes gone through smhhh 😔, its a tragic yuri of J loving and wanting something she probably already accepted she couldnt have, and even then she gotta deal with Ns ass being the favorite one regardless of how hard she tries to be perfect... sighhh i wanna imagine them in a future where Tessa was spared as the only human and J could save her 😭😭😭😭 Tessa might have loved doing mechanical stuff or wore black to hide grease/oil stains on her clothes from her parents and wore gloves to hide her oily stained hands- i want her to have a scene of wiring drones back to life and saving them and saying something like "hey there, you made it! dont worry, ill take care of you, youre my friend now :3" or something //dies//, also before anyone says it- even if Tessa was a teen in the flashbacks- romance is not exclusive to ADULTS, teens can love eachother without having sexual stuff involved. no she was not their MOTHER figure, she was their FRIEND who liked to fix robots for herself to not be alone in a house where her own parents literally chain her up as punishment. i dont even know why im arguing about this, people headcanon or make aus about characters NOT being dead all the time and if Tessa was alive for as long as J thought she was, Tessa would have been a perfectly fine adult either way. so counting this, yes shes canonically considered an adult when Cyn tries to imitate an adult humans body 🙄 makes as much sense as everything else i guess-

next ones i got is NorixYeva/Neva- Solverlilies- i just think theyre neat 😭😭😭 and once again, like everything else in this franchise- they are tragic yuris 😔 damn liam im finding a pattern over here 🤨 anyway, i like to think they either got closer in the lab experimentations or were already close when they were working as WDs in the campsite area for the humans. obviously canonically they were probably straight or just not into eachother romantically- [Nori either u have the worst taste men or Khan just fucking lost it after you died-] but also on the other handddd.... they have 2 hands and they are robots, i want them to kiss like two barbie dolls and im gonna make them do just that-

DollxLizzy/Dizzy- Bloodypink, wost fucking ship names ever, i cant find shit on them with these tags and it makes me angry >:/ at this point 2/3s of my ships are just tragic yuris smh, Doll did not deserve any of the things handed to her, even if she went about doing some things the wrong way i wish Lizzy didnt just abandon her- but then again, Doll did kinda abuse Lizzys trust and Lizzy got scared of being close to a serial murderer so.... morality calls this a draw? 😭 im crying... i wish someone was there to help Doll... sigh... i like to think Lizzy would have waited for Doll to just come back at some point... oh well, thats why AUs exist :"3 //sobs in the corner//

DollxUzi/Dollzi- Bloodybats, this ship is so underrated to me... they could have been... so much more. but why weren't they? did Yeva abandon ever getting close to Uzi when she was a kid after Nori died? did Uzi and Doll just never play around together as kids when their mothers were so close? were they ever close and something went wrong as they grew older? at worst they could have been like sisters together, and at best maybe more than friends. i just dont know what happened here, like Yeva could have tried to keep an eye on Uzi, maybe Uzi could have found Dolls powers so cool before having them too- i dont know theres literally tons of possibilities- but if Doll deserved to be saved or cared for by anyone, at least one of them should have been Uzi... sigh.

ThadxV- Killingblonde, yall this is... the cutest shit... ever???? like from here on out we kinda go into the more or less crackship territory but these two are adorable- Dumbass yet wholesome jock boy that just wants to keep his queen happy 😔👌👌👌 He and Uzi would have so much to talk about on "crushing on literal murder bots that stabbed and almost ate us" its literally love at first stab smhhh 😫💕

ThadxSam- Smokyjock ???? for some fucking reason??? i dont know what my brain did here man- i just like the trope of someone getting under Thads skin- like pair up the healthy sports loving gym boy with the lazy but wholesome dumbass that does drugs or is always just sleep deprived and Thad is always trying to just... take care of his ass and make him take care of himself but he just WONT SMHHH-

okay some more or less crack ships down here:

ThadxN: it speaks for itself. its too adorable and youll go blind from the light of wholesomeness-

ThadxNxUzi: Uzi will die here from the overwhelming wholesomeness... oh bonus if its just a 4s polycule of ThadxNxUzixV i mean i know im pushing my luck but.... random crackships go brr- V and Uzi will complain but love their dumbass golden puppy partners-

ThadxUzi: i think they could have been close and Thad caring about her as a childhood friend turned crush sounds just too cute for me 😔

LizzyxUzi: another random ass rivals to lovers or some shit idk what this is, Lizzy would pay Uzi to kiss the fuck out of her i dont make the rules-

ThadxLizzy: in some cases where they are NOT headcanoned as siblings or cousins, i think they have a good energy of wholesome jock bf and girly queen cheerleader lol, Thad is just a good bf eitherway-

DollxUzixLizzy: the gals would not leave a single second of silence for the small gremlin i swear to God- [Uzi is gay as FUCK for her gfs, absolute girloser unit with her gorgeous but crazy gfs]

okay for the end i have some characters that arent ships but i wish they could have become closer as friends or work out their issues...

J and N- too much abuse and toxicity here, i wish they could talk together more and see they have a lot of things in common- maybe a full line of dialogue from J without threatning N in every sense of the manner would be nice for a change =_=

Doll and V- again, a bit morally ambiguous to ship a character with the murderer of your family, esp when said murderer hasnt expressed regret lmao, but i wish they could at least be friends... Dolls disdain for the murder drones pushed her to end up the way she did. maybe if she didnt do it alone she would have been alive by now. so i like to think what would have happened if she and V could have made up- not necessarily Doll forgiving her- but at least having the space to grow and understand why they did they things that happened.

Cyn and literally ANYONE- i want the solver to be SEPARATE from Cyn- i wish Cyn would have still existed somewhere down there and was savable- i wish this poor child AI had a happy ending to her by connecting with the others as ACTUAL siblings... goddamnit 😔

aaaand thats it for this fine ass day 🫡 yall are welcome to ask about any of these- boy the tags are gonna be.... a lot.

[lonigiri]

arcade chapter two; pickup line

masterlist

"nowadays all i do is shine take a breath and ease my mind" - 2009 - mac miller

yn sat at the bar, drinking whatever kiyoko had put into her hand. she thought that going to the bar would make her feel better but wow drinking doesnt make her feel better who would've guessed?

"hey, whats your name?"

yn turned her head, ready to reject whatever ugo was trying to flirt with her. instead of seeing an ugly incel she saw a pretty guy. "oh um hey, its yn, what about you?"

"oh its atsumu, but you can call me yours." he flashed a charming smile at her. she rolled her eyes at him and laughed at his advances. the alcohol in her system somehow made her want to go along with him. she watched as he ordered a drink both for him and her making her stomach knot up a bit.

"awe thanks you didnt have to do that!"

"of course i did, a pretty girl like you should be spoiled!" a smile grew on her face and she waved him off shaking her head at him. "oh stop it, im not that pretty." "have you looked in the mirror ever? like genuinely asking." she smiled again, her cheeks starting to hurt because of his flirting. the alcohol on her empty stomach not helping the situation.

she looked down at her phone for a second seeing the groupchat blowing up. she didnt read any of the messages she just out her phone on do not disturb and placed it back down on her lap. looking back at the pretty man that kept buying her drinks.--she knows that he told her his name but she did not remember it if she was being 100% honest--. he was talking to this guy. her eyebrows furrowed trying to hear whatever they were saying but she couldnt make out anything they were saying over the loud music.

"atsumu leave her alone, shes drunk, dont take advantage of her." "shes having a good time! if she didnt want me here she would tell me, right?" the man turned around and looked at her for approval, but all she could see was the man that stood behind her. the regular from the arcade. she thought she was seeing things so she blinked a couple times to make out what she was seeing.

"do i know you from somewhere?" she spoke. "hey i just asked you a question?" atsumu desperately trying to get her attention back. "are you from the arcade?" the man standing behind atsumu said, his eyebrows furrowing. "oh my god. is this is hot girl from the arcade!!??" atsumu said to the guy that was standing behind him. "i think what i said was pretty, but yeah thats her." the mystery man talked to atsumu but was staring at yn. his focus snapped straight to atsumu and then grabbed him by the ear and dragged him away from the bar. "hey i never got your- he cant hear me."

"hey wheres that blonde dude?" kiyoko came up to yn talking to her from across the bar. "arcade dude was here." "arcade dude? you mean YOUR arcade dude??" "yeah i guess he's friends with the blonde?"

fun facts!

-atsumu HATES going to the bar

-noya is NEVER a casual drinker, he drinks to get BLACKOUT drunk i wish i was kidding

-yns drink of choice is a vodka cranberry w a splash of soda water

-once yn gets 6 drinks in kiyoko starts adding less and less vodka to her drinks until they basically turn into cranberry soda

-atsumu scoped out the bar and then went up to the prettiest girl that was there and that happened to be yn

-oikawa was genuinely suprised when atsumu started talking to yn and she didnt turn him away instantly

-atsumu has the same 5 pickup lines that (usually) never work

-yeah yn and bokuto still dont know who tf eachother are

tags- @itsdragonius @koshox @miss-manipulative @rrosiitas @celestialsabrina @deluluforcarlos55 @tsumtsumya @gigiiiiislife @dazqa @soobin1437 @thiisisntlovely @nymphsdomain @kagsoup @secondary-character-25 @fefesooli @walllflowerrrsss @giocriedpower @zukly @jaynawayna

(if your name is bolded i am NOT able to tag you please go to your settings and change it to where everyone can tag you) (if you want to be tagged the form is in my masterlist that is linked above)

[soubeomies]

୨୧ "WHY'D YOU ONLY CALL ME WHEN YOU'RE HIGH?"

⤷ PAIRING﹕ ex!leehan x gn!reader

⤷ WARNINGS ﹕mentions of leehan being drunk, and overall leehan is a bitch here LOL, mentions of jaehyun!!

⤷ GENRE﹕angst, no comfort :<

⤷ AUTHOR'S NOTE﹕eermmm idk how to feel abt this? kinda based on the song "why'd you only call me when you're high" (obviously) and leehans line in "but sometimes" japanese ver. because he sounds drunk after crying for 3 days straight wanting you back teehee

⤷ SYNOPSIS ﹕it was another usual lazy saturday night, till' you see your exes name, leehan, on your phone calling you. you picked up, it was his friend, asking you to come pick him up since he was drunk. you were too blinded by love to see that he was just gonna leave you again.

laying on your bed, scrolling through your socials in your pajamas wrapped in a soft and plush blanket. of course, it was just another lazy saturday night. you were just mindlessly scrolling till’ you lost track of time. 11:42, the time reads.

you yawn gently as you got up to go to your bathroom to get ready for bed, getting rudely interrupted by the sound of your phone getting a phone call. you grab your phone to see who's calling this late at night.. “what?” you mumbled to yourself as you saw those letters appear on your phone. “LEEHAN IS CALLING!” your phone displays. 

you hovered your finger above the decline button.. but you stopped and thought for a while. what if it was something important? what if he really needed you.. all of this was just excuses to pick up the phone, because you were still deeply in love, when you knew you shouldn't.

next thing you know, the call connected. on the other end, you just hear leehans voice in the background.. mumbling what seems to be your name. “y/n!” you hear, it wasn't leehan, it was his friend jaehyun calling for your name. “it's me, jaehyun.. um.. i know its a little weird, but leehan is drunk.” he paused, you thought to yourself.. of course he was drunk. you even wondered, why did he only call you when he was high? 

“he's just been mumbling your name over and over, i think we need you to come and pick him up.. if that's okay with you? if not that's totally fine we can just–” before jaehyun could even finish his sentence, you subconsciously replied to him as if you were on autopilot. “i'm on my way.” you said as you hung up. it took only a few seconds before you put on a jacket and you're out of your house with your car keys in hand.

jaehyun had already sent the location details as you quickly drove to the bar that he sent the details of, so you pull up and park your car infront of the bar, your eyes scanned the area as your eyes landed on the two figures in the dark, subtly illuminated by the dim streetlights. it was jaehyun.. and leehan. you quickly got out of your car as you walked up to them. leehans eyes quickly darted to yours as he hugged you tightly. “baaaby… i miss youuuuuu…” he muttered as you felt his hot breath against your neck. jaehyun couldnt help but chuckle, “yeah uhm, thanks for taking him y/n.” jaehyun said as he smiled. you smiled back as you got leehan off you, “yeah.. thanks for taking care of him i guess. see you around, jae.” you said as you helped leehan into the passenger seat.

you shut the door on his side as you walked over to the driver's seat as you got in the car. the whole ride was silent as leehan had just fallen asleep, the silence was only broken by the sounds of the car and the slow music playing in the background caused by the radio. you arrived back at your apartment as you helped leehan take off his seatbelt and gently woke him up. “y/n…” he mumbled, you rolled your eyes to his pouty tone as you helped him out of your car. you enter your apartment as you set him on your couch. you bring a blanket as you gently lay it on top of him. he fluttered those pretty eyes open and looked up to you, “i love you, y/n.” he slurred all his words. just more proof that he meant nothing he said to you. “you’re drunk, leehan.” you said as you walked off to your room. you finished getting ready for bed as you climbed onto your bed as you fell asleep. the next morning, you checked your phone. it was already 11 in the morning. you pulled your blanket off of you as you folded it on the foot of your bed. you got out of your room, rubbing your eyes as you feel the sleepiness start to fade away. your eyes wandered around your apartment as you looked at where you set leehan to sleep last night.

and of course, all that was left was the blanket messily tossed on the couch as leehan was gone. you couldn't help but feel stupid, you were so stupid for helping him again. you were so stupid to have picked up the call.. you were so stupid to have given him another chance. you knew you couldn't trust him, but you were too deep into all his fake words, all his empty lies. all you wanted is for it all to be real.

[reorientation]

i went out to a bar with a friend the other night for the first time in my four years at college, and i had a great time! but in the back of my mind, i couldnt stop thinking about a message you sent me a while back,, about instructing me to go out to a bar and not to leave until id convinced a man to fuck me, to cum inside me....

it didnt happen (i think i wish it had?), but the entire time i was there, thats all i could think about. as i watched other guys entering and leaving the bathroom throughout the night, i was imagining the scene, a man buys me a drink and gets me talking, maybe gets me to admit why im there, buys me another drink, then tells me to meet him in the mens bathroom in five. when i open the door and step in, hes waiting for me. he pushes me against the graffiti-covered walls, yanking my tshirt and binder up over my head and off, tossing them to the floor. hes groping me, sucking marks into my neck, my chest, hes so much all at once that its hard for me to think straight

he shoves me to my knees and has me give him my first blowjob, kneeling on the dirty bathroom floor with my tits on display for anyone to walk in and see... of course he'd eventually pull me back up to my feet, bending me over the sinks, watching myself in the mirror as he sinks his cock into me, takibg my virginity. he presses himself in slowly, not pausing until hes as deep inside me as possible. then, again slowly at first, he starts fucking me, gradually going faster and faster and harder, until hes pounding his cock inside me. i want to be utterly brainless as he takes me, almost not even realizing when his hips stutter and the thrusts grow erratic before he pushes all the way inside, one last time, to cum right up against my cervix

that didnt happen,, but its all i could think about then, and thats all i thought about when i woke up today, soaking wet, when i fingerfucked myself until i came, begging to be knocked up

rereading this,,, im not sure why im sending this anonymously,, itll be very obvious to u who i am. who would believe that, after writing all that,,, i try to call myself ftm???

(Rest stop anon and backseat lesbian anon, for reference)

Oh, Thea, this is such a sweet little offering to me. Your very first time at a bar - an adulthood milestone! - and you spent the whole time daydreaming about getting knocked up like a good girl just because I told you to.

I can just imagine how you would blush, admitting to a man why you were there. How he would run his hand over you as you sat there at the bar with him, feeling the curve of your waist and hips beneath your boyish clothes, thinking about being the first to get between your legs.

You probably wouldn't even be the first girl to get knocked up in that bar bathroom, you know. If he can fuck a load of cum into you there, other girls have been in that position before you, and will be after you - and some of them drunk and horny enough not to think too hard about birth control. You might still get to be the first virgin to conceive there, though. Or the first "boy".

But you don't make a very good boy, do you, Thea? Boys don't spend their big nights out wishing they were brave enough to be a brainless breeding slut for a stranger. Boys don't wake up soaking wet and desperately wishing they'd taken a man's cum into their womb.

I'm glad you had a good time at your first little outing, Thea. But if you're not brave enough on your own, I might have to ensure you have a lot more fun on the next. 🖤

[quillkiller]

do youuuuu…… can youuuuu…………. speak about rhaenicent…..??? pretty please <3333

oh god. you have no idea what you’ve asked for. they make me absolutely sick in the head. sick to my stomach. like im close to hyperventilating whenever a new episode drops…

like obviously im a rhaenicent girlie down to the bone but honestly ?? i genuinely see them as the unrequited trope. alicent being my repressed lesbian princess angel who’s in love with her childhood best friend who’s just so painfully heterosexual. yes, sadly rhaenyra gives me heterosexual vibes…:/ (however lets talk about the tension between rhaenyra and mysaria in the last episode.. i was going insane jumping up and down. so now i have to reevalute if rhaenyra is actually heterosexual to me or if she’s just not. in love. with alicent. violently throwing up at the thought like imagine you’re in unrequited in love with your childhood best friend but shes straight so whatever what can you do <- what she does is slut shame out of pure jealousy<3. but then shes NOT straight and she STILL doesn’t want you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lets all kill ourselves.)

something i also think about a lot is the scene in season one where alicient grabs the knife and attacks rhaenyra and yells ”WHERE IS DUTY, WHERE IS SACRIFICE? IT’S TRAMPLED UNDER YOUR PRETTY FOOT AGAIN,” <- pretty being keyword. alicent didn’t have to call her pretty but it slips out and they haven’t touched physically in years and there’s so much yearning and desire and resentment and hatred between them and alicent still calls her pretty. and maybe it’s supposed to be in a condescending way, it’s up to anyone to make their own reading of that, but to me it didn’t sound or land as an insult at all. it sounded impulsive and desperate and as if it just slipped out after alicent touched her again for the first time in years. just so much pent up internalized desire and resentment for her childhood companion :/ it also makes me think of the quote ’i confuse instinct for desire— isn’t bite also touch?’ by natalie diaz. makes me absolutely sick in the head

i genuinely, personally, can’t see alicent as anything other than a deeply repressed lesbian and like it doesn’t matter to me that she’s sleeping with crispy cole. to be honest it only helps my argument…. like rhaenyra lost her virginity to him and alicent is sleeping with him in the same sleeping quarters whete rhaenyra slept with him ??? thats genuinely SO interesting to me. i think both alicent and crispy are so deeply obsessed with rhaenyra and are projecting that onto each other. like rhaenyra will always be present whenever they’re together there’s just no way around that. i’d argue that they’re only attracted to each other because of rhaenyra. i had an argument about this a few weeks ago where someone said they dont think alicent is in love with rhaenyra / thinks shes in love with cole / thinks she loved viserys. like. alicent has genuinely only ever loved one single person (except her children but that’s different) and she only ever had one single meaningful relationship and that was with rhaenyra. like bruh be serious… how do you witness alicent having one single meaningful relationship throughout the series and go ’i actually think she loved viserys’. the homoerotic context is right there. but yeah heterosexual people couldnt pick up on queer subtext even if it hit them right in the face

however. i will say. i wouldve actually liked to see alicent sleeping with women/taking a woman as a lover this season and was sort of hoping for it :/ i would’ve liked it confirmed…. but yeah that’s wishful thinking and i doubt that’s going to happen :/ and besides. with how alicent actively denies herself pleasure i don’t think she ever would

anyway. i hate to say it. but i don’t think rhaenyra is in love with alicent. i know a lot of people think she is/read into it as if she is and like this is just me talking about how i personally see them. rhaenyra, to me, doesn’t read as having romantic feelings for alicent and it KILLS ME !!!!!!!!! because i WANT HER TO!!!!!!!! and it hurts SO MUCH !!!!!!!! and i WANT THEM TO KISS!!!!!!!!!!! but yeah. absolutely miserable. there’s just this, to me, disconnect between rhaenyra and her feelings for alicent. it doesn’t pain her in the same way it pains alicent. alicent genuinely can’t think clearly because of her attachment to rhaenyra, whereas rhaenyra can and always could. the codependancy was one-sided <- im going to Throw Up

that’s not to say rhaenyra didn’t love alicent, and maybe she still does. i absolutely think she holds love for alicent and deeply misses her…. i just don’t necessarily see it as romantic from her pov. :(

anyway. this is my phone bg:

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for refusing to get back with an ex?

So i (21m) was in a poly relationship with S (21x) and J (24m) for about a year (so that would be when i was 20, S was 19 and J was 22)

Midway through the relationship i was going through some mental health shit so i kind of subconsciously distanced myself (my bad, i definitely shouldve been upfront about what was happening but i have vulnerability issues)

Dont get me wrong, i wasnt straight up neglectful or anything (to my knowledge?), but i really didnt go out with them as much as i used to (if one of us couldnt attend, the other two would go as a couple. It was more efficient like) and didn't really feel as much "honeymoon" intensity if that makes sense

I think its also important to note that once i was semi-able to pull myself out of my rut i decided to start these big art projects to show my appreciation for them and also kind of make up for my distance, like that shit took up my time and sleep and effort. i felt like i wanted to take the next step from casual dating to something actually serious with a future and everything because getting out of my spiral made me remember how much i loved them

So i called them up and found out that they kind of... kicked me off the polycule?? It was this weird situation where they thought I was leaving them behind so they also fully moved in together and started acting like a regular couple without me. obviously i was pissed, and S apologized and tried to communicate which i really appreciate, but J was just doubling down blaming me. At the time i was so angry i turned it into a full out yelling match

I realized it wasnt healthy nor working out and broke it off fully, telling S we could still be friends but cutting J off entirely. I gave all J's shit that was still at my place back to S, blocked J's number and scrapped my project altogether

Fast forward to present day, and im in a completely unrelated relationship with two people i love with all my heart, and by this time ive healed and mended my relationship with S enough that i thought we could start over and add them to the polycule (to be clear my current partners like them too and are on board). We did do that, it's going great and i'm remembering why i loved S so much in the first place

The issue is that S is still with J, and while J doesn't have any issues with both of us separately dating S, S wants all of us to reunite again for old times sake and its very obvious that theyre still holding onto the old versions of us and what we used to be. I say no, i dont even like J anymore and havent spoken to him in forever so why the hell would i care?? Ive grown and changed so much in the time after our relationship that i wouldnt even fit into the nostalgic mold that you want me to be a part of and i dont think J would either

The thing is J does also seem like hes interested in starting over. S said he's grown a lot since, but i think our personalities just dont mesh and ive also just fallen fully out of love with him. It seems to break S's heart, but they get it and don't bother me about it anymore. On the other hand J respects my decision but is still like passive aggressively annoyed about how seriously i took it, saying it was mostly my fault and i took drastic measures for nothing.

Aita?

What are these acronyms?

[cutiepiemina]

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄ What you do to me ⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Neteyam x reader short fanfic ❤

༺ fluff ༻

༺ friends to lovers ༻

༺ confession scenario ༻

༺ Neteyam being a sweetie ༻

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

´´Neteyam´´

your voice called out.

´´Neteyaam´´ once again, this time finally snapping your friend out of the trance currently engulfing him. Slowly he looks away from the sweet little pond the two of you sat at and down over at you with half lidded eyes.

´´You okay? You kinda been just staring at the water. You got something on your mind?´´ you ask the older boy seated next to you.

´you´ is what he thinks, yet he doesn´t answer, instead he quietly stares at you with his yellow glowy eyes, making you ever the more curious.

His muted stare starts to unsettle you, so you give him an eyebrow raise along with a playful shove. ´´what r you starin at bro, snap out of it ´´. Saying ´´bro´´ at least a million times a day is something you had picked up from the sully boys from being around them so much. He looks away from you and with his large hand he picks up one of the pretty fluorescent rocks, that illuminate the nightly darkness and throws it into the pond, following it with his eyes. All the while you´re trying to understand what might be occupying his mind.

´´ Did Lo´ak do something? Ooor are you worried about the sky people? Either way you know you ca-

´´Just ... what is it about you ´´ your sentence is interrupted midway as he blurts his thoughts out to you, in a low voice.

´´The hell?´´ you laugh out, you couldnt make any sense of him. ´´What about me? Did I do something?´´

He shifts his gaze away from the pond and back to you again, his lingering stare reminding you of the close proximity to him. It was like he was looking inside your deepest soul thoughts. What the hell got this dude acting like this?

´´Y/N .. tell me what is it that you do to me. I cant understand this. ´´ his face suddenly closer than before, mustering yours. You could feel the atmosphere shift, afraid and unsure of the direction this would take.

´´ i cant explain it very well, but I can also not deny that you have an effect on me like nothing else, I feel it here´´ he motions toward his stomach.

Your heart starts beating faster. He was never like this before. His expression seemed undecipherable, so stern and focussed yet so relaxed.

´´Do you not feel it Y/n? Dont you see it?´´

´´Wha-´´

´´I cant think straight because of you, my mind is constantly consumed by you. I want to be around you at all times. I even dream of you. Do you really not see? Because I see you. I see only you.´´

´´Neteyam what are you saying´´ his face inches éven closer, your heart racing even faster and his eyes starting to light up.

´´I dont know my dear. This is the effect you have on me. It´s overwhelming honestly. You are perfection in my eyes.´´

And in your stomach there was this feeling again, this cribbling feeling you were never able to interpret that you would feel when he stood closely behind you when correcting your form with your bow, the feeling when you lock eyes for a second too long as you watch him skillfully hunt in all his glory, the feeling when you eavesdropped on him ranting to his brother about you.

The same exact feeling he got each time you would fix his hair, smile up at him as he towered over your smaller self, worriedly tend to his wounds or just sing with the other girls.

But of course neither of you knew that the feeling was mutual, neither of you even understood what to make of this feeling. Therefore all you knew to do was keeping one another close.

The moments went by and you remained silent, which made the boy that had spilled his heart out to you grow worried. Did he say something wrong. ´´Please.. I´´ he splurted out so vulnerable, almost panicked. ´´Being around you feels .. right, it feels like its supposed to be this way, me and you, please tell me, do you feel this connection too?

Still unsure what to say, you instinctively grab his hand to his reassurance. He calmed. He looks down at your intertwined hands and back at you again. The feeling was indeed mutual.

´´Oh Neteyam.´´

´´Yes ?´´ He responds eagerly, both of your hearts beating uncontrollably, as you inch closer and closer ...

[estrophore]

Signalis Post (barely coherent thought vomit)

So I finished signalis on Monday and i think ive just about recovered enough for me to make a gush post about it on tumblr dot com, which i think i have to do cause i dont think any other game has really hit me as hard as this one. Spoilers obvs.

Being pre-transion, with that associated depression and closing off from oneself, ive always found it difficult to get out my feelings, even in private with just myself, and yet signalis has filled me throughout with its beautiful romantic melancholy and left me genuinely sobbing for the gay robot and her space girlfriend (almost worried that if id played this game on estrogen it might actually have just killed me on the spot). the only other times i can think of where i really cried were playing We Know The Devil near the beginning of the year, which really fkin hit the part of me that struggles to accept myself, and that time i rewatched the last episode of she-ra after reading the ‘Word War Etheria’ fanfic, which brings the characters so much more to life i fell for them all over again.

Signalis is a game that calls back to a lot of classic horror like resident evil and silent hill, which i havent got round to playing any of yet, but i think nostalgia works both ways sometimes and i’ll be playing them sooner now. sometimes horror gets stereotyped as all death and violence, some games fill themselves with skulls and corpses, and big ugly monsters and basically shout ‘DEATH!’ in your face repeatedly and it all just comes off as a bit garish and ridiculous and not actually very scary really. Signalis sits at the other end of that scale (with some of my other fav horror games like soma, cry of fear) where its environs are most usually just… quiet. Still. Muffled. Sad. just as often as theres tension or creeping fear because of this i find theres a strange kind of comfort too. Maybe its just that in most other genres of games theres so much of music, UI elements, pickups and interactibles with vibrant design. Here, theres room for your mind to just occupy the space. A soft fog. A dimly lit room. An empty train. Snow out a window. Liminal spaces that dont expect anything from you.

Signalis is a game thats just simply, unapologetically gay, and i dont think i would have been quite so invested in Elster and Ariane’s relationship if they were a straight couple. Its why representation is important, if art’s way for us to explore our emotions then its important to have media that we can relate to. Even Adler’s role isnt typically masculine. Our replika characters are manufactured, designed for certain roles in the base. Notes from the tough Stars and Storchs in the shooting range, the dollish Eules with the fairy lights and music player in the dorm. I couldnt help but think of groups of Eules sat around chatting, together, and im yearning for that feeling of togetherness, of understanding a friend that closely. I somehow missed the couple in the mineshaft (next playthough, ill find you v_v ). Despite the harshness of life in the Eusan nation (especially for the gestalts) the characters in it are defined by their feelings of belonging and hope. With the obvious parallels to east germany, i think of posters of cosmonauts and space travel from the time. Propaganda, sure but also made with the genuine belief in something greater. When the events of the game take this away, well, we find the last Kolibri, whod rather lose herself than lose her [ah. Im not sure theres a word here to properly describe the relationship they embody]. Its a game defined by loneliness.

We dont lie up at night scared by some corrupted android. We arent stuck with horror at the flesh everywhere, not on its own. We lie awake thinking about Elster and Ariane’s love for each other, the horror of their decline, the futility of trying to hold on forever. Its existential horror done perfectly. It shows an ending postponed and stretched far beyond its limits, and so squarely reminds you that you do, in fact, have to die one day. You’ll break down. One day you’ll say your last words to the people you love and you wont even know you have. Ariane’s final few diaries arrive with the full force of the narrative behind it, like a spear through my heart. For the record, I got the promise ending. Im still sad. It's a game about raging desperately against an unfair ending. I might think about this game for the rest of my life. I would sincerely say its an artistic masterpiece, by the sure definition of video games as art.

I like that the story leaves a lot open and abstract. I think it makes the emotional themes takes centre stage more. And i havent had nearly enough time to sift through it and come up with my own takes, we’ll need a few more playthroughs for that. And theres so much more to say that cant go in just these few paragraphs! Signalis is a game about two girls who had to run away from everything to find someone they belonged with. The universe may be cold and bleak, but you have to try, you might just find something beautiful, even if it doesnt last forever. I think if anything, we should all have the chance to find love and happiness like that, and we shouldnt have abandon a world that doesnt work for us to do it.

[romanarose]

Life update if anyone cares.

I only post this bc i was posting my depressing shit for months and a lot of people were reaching out in concern <3

cw sever depression, self harm, suicide, csa, SA, all the bad. but also lots of good <3

TLDR: Despite a god-awful semester, i got all a's and b's

Everyone thats been following me the last few months has seem my personal posts about how fucking awful things have been for me.

I've dealt with fact I can no longer deny that what happened to me was CSA, despite being on a milder side of things. That sparked an absolutely spiral. I didnt sleep for months which made things worse. School, I got an F on a midterm and i NEVER get F's on writing assignments.

Work had its complications and i quit and then rescinded that quit two days later. I was so constantly depressed in my dorm my roommate literally told me i needed to go to the basketball game with them bc i was sitting in a depression hovel none stop. I only went to services twice this whole time, one shabbat and once for Rosh Hoshannah.

I burned the ever living fuck out of my fingers, yall remember that one? lol.

In novemeber i had relapsed so severely on self harm i thought i had accidentally killed myself. I should've called 911. I thought I was bleeding out and/or going into shock. I then worked myself up more by going down pages of the internet about medical shook and people dying from it. that did not help my heart rate. I couldn't stand, I couldnt see straight for a while.

I could not afford an ambulance or a hospital stay as i am uninsured and only ork 25 hours a week. not a lot of money.

All this happened and I didn't miss work. This is not a brag, this is me not being able to makegood choices for myself.

Finally, thanksgiving break hit. Thank fucking god. I WANTED to use those 4 days of absolutely nothing to get to my TWO BIG RESEARCH PAPERS I HADNT STRTED YET but alas, I was SICK. I was so sick, in fact, and so hoped up on cough medicine for 3 days i was incomprehensible.

I was so physically ill, i couldnt even think about how mentally ill i was. I slept and slept and slept. And by the time sunday hit, I felt so recharged.

My failed midterm was so bad and so not me my professsor reached out to me. Im close with him (in a v appropriate way lol, hes a bruce springsteen fan too) and i felt comfortable telling him essentially that for a few months there things were severe, and I really should've gone in for a 72 hour hold multiple times and i was not safe. through a few lines of resources, I ended up back in therapy bc my school added a new therapist that is a woman (i stopped going last year bc i didnt like seeing a man)

I like my new therapist.

Anway, in about 2 weeks I wrote 2 12 page research papers, 2 book report papers, 1 science paper did 2 presentations, took 2 finals, wrote 2 more finals with essay questions, and at the end of it all, not only did I not fail any classes...

I GOT ALL A'S AND B'S! Which means my gpa is still high enough to renew my scholarship for my last year

I am so fucking proud of myself for accomplishing all this despite suffering so fucking badly. I havnt felt pain like that in years, just agony.

I had a down turn again over christmas bc my siblings were literally ass, upto and including making fun of me for not ating (i am multiple accounts of sexual trauma from several people, so im scared of dating), making fun of my eating, and my sister slapping me and my older brother hitting me. Was a bad time. But for right now, im in the place im staying for break (all january) im back at my old day care and they love me, and olive garden at this store has been going great

Im hoping next semester to be better, im hopful at least

Anyway, thank you so much to everyone who has supported my writing has supported me through these times. It makes me happy that i came her to share my silly little moon knight x reader series, not really intending on writing a whole lot, but next thing i know, i have friends and a lil community. so thank you <3

[wearethewitches]

WE KNOW HOW ISOBEL DIED!!!! so in act 1 you know there’s a hidden alcove in the druid’s grove? theres a historic druid’s journal that is written about how they killed Isobel with their glade and is extremely regretful about it, and that weapon you can find is called “sorrow”. it was locked away by said druid out of guilt and they couldnt even muster to clean it, in the weapon description it says there’s still blood rusted on it. so, i dont know if isobel was fighting with the druids againts the sharrans and was betrayed, or i dont know what that dynamic is- but she was killed in the first war by a druid

oh babe, you're like, two days too late unfortunately 😂😂 my friend and i have been screaming over this and making up theories as to why the emerald grove - and i see you there with that "historic druid's journal", it's halsin's. it's halsin's. - were talking with moonrise in the first place. a lot of cut content has been coming to light recently, including this whole potential backstory that halsin killed isobel by accident; i think i actually reblogged the early access screenshots someone put up of the journal entries itself. our current theory is just a straight up sharran conspiracy to disrupt everything.

if, by some miracle, you have screenshots of current gameplay confirming this whole deal: SHARE. RIGHT NOW. GIMME. and know for a fact that if they genuinely have plastered the phrase "historic druid" over halsin's name, i shall be foaming at the mouth in wroth.

on that subject, there's another "how did isobel die" cut content thing swinging about as well which goes along the line of: balthazar was stirring up shit, killed isobel, framed aylin, and then lured aylin there so ketheric could see her over isobel's fallen body. obviously that doesn't fit with canon anymore, as it's canon that ketheric told aylin of isobel's death, which makes the halsin stuff so much more likely. unfortunately, both storylines are cut at the moment, so unless larian studios releases a selune dlc or an update specifically for moonrise towers, i'm not sure we're going to see any more canon isobel & isobel's death content 😭

[horrendous-bisexual-showdown]

Poll 4

Solveig (She/Her) by @spellinwaiting

Why Should Your OC Win?

her life is so fucking hard she needs to win something just once

What is Your OC Like?

solveig is my tes oblivion oc and she has just SO many problems. imagine being severely mentally ill in a medieval fantasy setting with no access to proper mental health care. one time someone tried to mug her but then realized she had nothing and they felt so bad for her and the whole state she was in the mugger was like 'ok you need help' and became her friend. shes blessed to have an orc wife who loves her no matter how many times she sprints off into the woods in the midst of a manic episode. what else? she has a horse named 'horse' because she couldnt come up with anything better. she wants to be a heroic knight but is far better at killing people than saving them. her solution to most of her problems is to lie face down on the floor motionless for a while (also the picture is done by my friend whose url is @symbie not by me, i hope thats alright, also i put that here cause i didnt know where else to)

Chester Wayne Mallory (He/Him) by @liliflower137

Why Should Your OC Win?

Now at first glance Chester seems like he's on top of things. A talented inventor and programmer, a successful streamer, a husband and kids.

But even at the best of times he's an anxiety ridden mess, and while he would never do anything behind his husband's back he's still not immune to swooning over a hothot man

He's terrible at making decisions, his memory is a mess, and his empty nest syndrome is so bad he basically stole a kid once. And on top of everything, his last name means "an unfortunate person"

Plus there was that time he got trapped in a video game while live on twitch and died like 3 times. So embarassing.

Why not give him a win? He could use the self confidence boost!

What is Your OC Like?

Chester Mallory is a kind very family oriented man who gets attacked to people quickly. He tends to show his love through offering food, so his friends often have fridges full of his leftover spicy noodles.

His entire extended family consists of serial adopters, so his family reunions consists of lots and lots of found families

He lost his right arm in a terrible accident but taught himself to build his own prosthetic purely because he thinks the industry around prosthetics is bullshit

His friends tend to get pretty chaotic which usually leads to him playing the straight man and having to go take a nap after, but he still loves them more than anything, and would do anything to protect them all, especially his best buddies Boris and Malcom.

If you'd like to read about him, his story is "Something New" in the Hlvrai tag of ao3! His AU is called eternal stream! (The picture of him was drawn by @year2000electronics)