#i was really happy but I was also like. absolutely positively sure I couldnt move on | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

harvestmount · 4 months ago

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this fic was an absolute rollercoaster ride of a reading experience, this fic was amazing loz you won't ever stopped surprising me at this point because I LOVE THIS SO MUCH 😭

when i first reading the first paraghraph it brought me back to the ending of part 1 and it feels like i was watching a series where the episode ended in a cliffhanger and when you move to the next episode you feel some kind of relieve bcs the story continues

i love the way mason deliver his love to her, like he was so nervous around her and careful with his words and always trying to find a solution everytime he made a mistake, and it all because he dont want to upset or make her sad again and it was so precious!!! i'm actually nervous when woody wanted to say something but i'm glad he finally apologized to her

THE FIRST DATEEEEE OMG he's so well prepared!!! he brought her to Little Venice??? so cute!!! the way he was so protective and make sure she's okay makes me giddy, the waiters the uber, and the smut when they were back to hotel was so 🫠🫠🫠🫠 i'm melting frr it shows how much they love each other

ROBIN YOU BETTER RUN NOW BECAUSE I'M IN FRONT OF YOUR HOUSE!!! seriously i'm not surprised that it was her who called the paps because I KNOW she would do that to ruin everything, and the insta story LMAO how stupid of herrrr

i love y/n so much like she was so understanding towards mase, like she understands the situation eventho it makes her uncomfortable, the way she's always so positive and SHE SAID SORRY too!!! she's unreal shes an angel, it wasn't her fault at all but she felt sorry for mase

THE FAMILY MEETING!!! i was so nervous reading this part tbh because i dont want her to get hurt :( i love how summer and mila playing with her, it was like a little distraction so y/n wouldn't feel too awkward sitting on sofa or around Debbie and Jaz. and MILA SITS ON HER LAP OMGGGG so so adorable!!! and when mase approaching her and comforting her!!! i love the way he stood up to them. and i'm relieved when Debbie came and talked about it all, case closed here

i love their little moments so much like it was so wholesome, and the toilet seat was so cute AHAHAH the way he panicked instantly 🤣🤣

AND THE SMUT WAS PERFECT, she wanted to make him feel good so bad and mase being cheeky as always and THE MIRROR!!!🫣 omg seriously stop!!! because i didn't expect it!!!! i'm blushing?????

I MEANT IT when i said reading this fic is like riding a rollercoaster because girlll i thought the Robin situation is over but she showed up again???? also mase being stupid, how could he forgot to rename her contact and delete the red love emoji???

i love their conversation when she feels upset about Robin and mase explained everything to her, and they were both understanding each other like that moments meant so much to me, they're so perfect to each other!!

"Let's just use it as a learning curve, yeah? We just need to communicate more and we'll be fine" it's the real definition of love to me!!!! because the essential role of love is learning and teaching 😫😫😫

OKAY LOZ I THOUGHT THIS IS OVER?? i hate how Robin is still on her mind because girl couldn't escape? i mean she was everywhere in his house, i feel so bad for her i just want to hug her tight :(( SERIOUSLY I JUST WANT HER TO BE HAPPY PLEASEEE 😔😔

STOP ITTT this makes me want to cry so bad like i literally shaking typing this feedback because their love is so perfect, i love how their love developed and always understanding each other, the conversation between them at the end really warms my heart!! he's selling the house is everything to me like he wanted a fresh start with her and leave behind his past with Robin

"How do i make you feel?"

"Safe. And understood. Like loving me is easy"

SHUT UPPPP I WANT LOVE LIKE THEIRSSSS 😭😭😭😭 THEIR WHOLE CONVERSATION WAS EVERYTHING TO ME. I COULDNT LOVE THEM MORE AT THIS POINT. THEY'RE SO IN LOVEEEEE AND THEY DESERVE IT AFTER EVERYTHING THEY'VE BEEN THROUGH

LOZZZ I FEEL LIKE I CANT PUT IT INTO WORDS HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS FIC AND THEM!! what an amazing story with a perfect ending. it feels like i was living in there with them and i'm so thankful to know their story through ups and downs and i'm so happy they finally got their happy endings

YOU ARE AN ABSOLUTE PERFECTION LOZ!! you've done it again, thank you so much for putting your efforts into this loz i feel like i cant thank you enough, not only the fic but all the posters, the fake chat, i appreciate your edits so much 🫶🏻 and i hope you never ever ever stop writing loz!!!

The Way You Love Me

Note - I promised never to write a fic as long as what I need again but this is longer by 3k so sorry about that 😭 this fic would be nothing without @masonmtxo and just thank you so much for all the hours we spent brainstorming this cause I just had so much fun 🩷 this one’s for you bestie 🤗 this fic is a part two of Like Magnets so if you haven’t read that first please do but if you don’t want to hopefully you can keep up! Love you guys I hope you enjoy and feedback is appreciated 🩷

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 24.2k

Warnings - smut fluff and angst

You still remember that morning you woke up next to Mason for the first time after you’d reacquainted the night before. You’d been crying like a crazy person and as a result could barely open your eyes but you laid on his chest and watched him intently.

You loved the way his brows were pinched, making him look pissed off in his sleep. It made your heart feel soft and you couldn’t help but reach out to touch them to try and smooth them out. Your fingers shifting him awake slightly but it was worth it so see the smile on his face when his eyes landed on yours.

‘Good morning beautiful’ he sighed, pulling you in closer before leaving a soft kiss on your forehead. ‘You look like you’ve been punched in both eyes’

‘Very funny’ you laughed, rubbing at your eyes to try and do something with them but you knew nothing would make a difference. You could feel they were still swollen from all the crying you’d done last night but right now it was worth it to wake up next to him. ‘Do you have to rush off or do you want breakfast?’

‘I’ll probably have to go sweetheart, I need to get to training’ he pouted and even though you knew that was probably the case you were still sad about him leaving.

‘Okay’ you whispered, a sad smile on your face as he tucked some hair behind your ear and you could tell he was wracking his brain to try and think of something to make you smile.

‘Do you wanna come over to mine tonight?’ He offered, holding your jaw as he stroked your cheek gently and you cursed yourself at that being all it took to make your face light up like the sun.

‘Really? Already?’

‘Yeah, I’m not hiding you or anything anymore. I want you to be a part of my life for real’ he confirmed and even though you told him last night you wanted to take things slow you also knew you had more to talk about. ‘So you’ll come?

‘Okay’ you whispered, giddy and excited about seeing him later and you could see from the smile he was giving you that he felt exactly the same.

‘I’ll send you the address, yeah? And I’ll have dinner waiting for you’

‘I might reconsider in that case’ you joked and the look of shock on his face made you giggle.

‘Cheeky, I’ll get you back for that’ he teased, feeling him move his hands to your waist so he could tickle you relentlessly until you were practically begging him to stop. Pulling him down for a kiss in the end to distract him and you couldn’t help but let out a content hum at the way you melted into each other.

So you went to his that night, him texting you the address along with one of the animal facts he’d saved for you just as promised and you weren’t sure what to expect. It was just his flat as Robin was still in the house but it was still nicer than what you had and you could tell Robin had never set foot in here. It was a man cave to a T but you could tell he’d tidied up a bit for you. Letting you know he’d ordered food so you were safe and you spent the evening cuddled up on the sofa stealing sweet kisses from each other.

‘I like it here, it’s calm’ you commented after a while, watching the corners of his lips tilt up into a soft smile.

‘Well whenever you wanna drop by you can, you know I love having you around’

‘I might take you up on that’ you winked and he was quick to kiss you again. The pair of you not able to keep your hands off of each other it seemed but you weren’t complaining. You’d missed his touch more than you’d realised over the weeks you’d spent apart and now you were back you felt that same force sticking you together again.

‘I hope you do’ he laughed before his face turned serious as he gripped your chin to look at you. ‘What do you think about me introducing you to some people properly soon?

‘Oh? Um I mean-‘

‘Yeah I mean some of my mates know who you are and I’ll tell my family about us soon I promise. You know like when the timings good and-‘

‘Mase wait’ you interrupted. Wanting to stop him in his tracks as he’d clearly got a little ahead of himself and forgot that you’d requested to take things slowly, the thought of having to let him down a bit made your heart hurt but you knew you had to be strong on this one .

‘What’s wrong?’

‘It’s just, it’s a bit fast for me’ you whispered, the sudden realisation changing Mason’s expression in an instant and thankfully you didn’t get the vibe that we was mad or anything.

‘Oh no not you’re right, sorry I just got a bit excited. We've got loads of time for that’

‘I just-‘

‘You don’t need to explain’ he smiled, cutting you off with a quick kiss. ‘You need time and I know that. I’m happy to wait until you’re ready, okay? And if I’m this pushy again just tell me to back off. I’ll take what you give me, just like we agreed’

‘Okay’ you whispered, your heart soaring at the fact he’s actually listened to you and was respecting your boundaries but It wasn’t just Mason going fast that made you pump the brakes. You were nervous about everything that would come with being in his world and meeting everyone as you weren’t sure what people might think of you or if they’d have something to say, but thankfully you were keeping things on the down low for now. Agreeing that you’d take it slow and since the evening you’d spent at his you’d only physically seen him once in three weeks when he came over to yours for a movie night and you realised how much you loved being around him again.

You’d kept in touch with messages and the odd facetime but you missed his touch, his kisses and the way your head fit so perfectly on his chest so after your dinner plans fell through one night, you thought it would be nice to surprise him in hopes you could cook for him or treat him to a takeaway. Taking him up on his offer of popping over whenever you liked and heading over straight from work without letting him know you were on the way.

You weren’t expecting the door to open to a mop of blonde curls though. Their face eyeing you curiously before they sent you a friendly smile and it finally clicked that you’d seen this person before.

‘Oh hey, y/n right? It's nice to see you again’

‘Y-yeah that’s me’ you nodded. Face to face with the boy from the first night you met Mason who didn’t seem to take too kindly to you. ‘Woody right?’

‘Yeah, that’s me’ he laughed, stepping back and nodding you in but you felt awkward and shy and you stepped inside.

‘Sorry, I had no idea you’d be here I was just gonna speak to Mase about something but it’s fine I can come back another time’ you told him, hoping to make it seem like you were just popping in rather than going with the expectation of staying a while.

‘No don’t be silly, come in’ he smiled before you followed him into the sitting room, wondering if Mason would be in there but when you turned the corner there was no one else around. ‘He’s not stopped yapping about you since I’ve seen him. We’re only watching a film so it’s fine, he’s actually just ordering some food. You eaten?’

‘Oh no I um-‘

‘You know what he’s like, eyes bigger than his belly so I’m sure there will be plenty. You might as well stay and eat with us’ he offered and even though his attitude seemed to have done a 180 and he was being more than welcoming you still felt weird about intruding.

‘Are you sure?’

‘Definitely’ he smiled, before he gulped and you knew he was getting ready to say something else. Your heart rate picking up at what might be an awkward encounter but he was talking before you could tell him to stop. ‘Listen, I kinda wanted to talk to you anyway at some point and now seems like as good a time as any. I wanted to apologise for that night, you know when you first met him? I know I didn’t come across as very friendly but you know it was never you right?’

‘I know, you don’t have to be sorry’ you told him, knowing he was just looking out for Mason and it was clear to see he had his back over anything. ‘It was weird for everyone, like I knew nothing at the time and I know you were just looking out for him’

‘I was, and I know how tough things have been for him but I can’t tell you how happy you make him’ he laughed, feeling your cheeks flush straight away at his confession. You knew Mason made you happy but to hear it coming from someone so close to him meant more than anything. ‘It’s like having a whole different Mason around’

‘Well he makes me happy too’ you nodded, speaking quietly as you were embarrassed to admit to him. ‘I know it’s been rocky and weird but-‘

‘I don’t think they understood my southern accent but if my calculations are correct it should be delivered in half an hour’ you suddenly heard Mason shout through the hall, you and Woody turning to look at each other with a smile before Mason rounded the corner and he spotted you straight away. His face a mask of shock but you could tell he was happy and also a little flustered. ‘Hey, what are you doing here? I thought you had plans?’

‘I did, but they got cancelled last minute. I was just popping in but I didn’t realise Woody was here too’

‘I told her she can stay for dinner, you’ve ordered enough right?’ Woody asked him, raising his brows at him. Almost as if he was trying to tell him to act cool but Mason was way beyond that and you could see how giddy he was just at the sight of you.

‘Yeah I have’ he smiled, slowly making his way over to you and as if Woody knew it was his que to go, he excused himself to the loo.

‘Thought he’d never leave’ Mason laughed, falling down next to you on the sofa so he could wrap you up in his arms and you felt your whole body relax as you held each other. ‘Missed you, gorgeous’

‘I missed you too’ you whispered, hiding your head in his neck as you felt too shy to look at him and soon enough he was trying to pull you away so he could see you.

‘Hey, why won’t you look at me’ he laughed, trying to tickle your sides and his plans worked as you started to squirm away but you moved your hands over your face to hide again. ‘Baby, what are you doing?’

‘Stop it, I’ve gone all shy’ you laughed, hoping he’d leave you be but just as you’d figured he did no such thing. Prying your hands away from your face so your red cheeks were exposed to him and the bright smile on his face made you melt.

‘Why are you shy, it’s only me’ he whispered, his own cheeks just as red and you thought it was the most adorable thing in the world.

‘I know’ you giggled, letting him cup your jaw before resting your face in his hand so you could gaze into each other's eyes lovingly before he dipped down to kiss you.

It was like having your first kiss all over again. Slightly hesitant and soft but you could feel his smile on your lips and feel the tsunami of butterflies swarming in your tummy. You loved kissing Mason, and each time you got to kiss him again you remembered how much. Letting him take control as he carefully dipped his tongue into your mouth so he could brush it against yours and in the end you had to pull away as you felt yourself overwhelmed by him. Your heart pounding in your ears as you struggled to catch your breath but his soft smile and kind eyes relaxed you when you were finally able to look at him.

‘You guys want a drink?’ Woody suddenly called, the pair of you jumping slightly and Mason answered for the both of you before he came back to the living room with his arms full of cans from the fridge. They both let you have the first pick before you took your coat off to get comfy on the sofa but Mason was giving you the once over before his face scrunched a little.

‘Do you wanna get changed, love? I’ve got some things you can borrow if you don’t wanna sit in that’ Mason asked, his eyes trailing over your body trapped in your stuffy work trousers and tight top and you couldn’t think of anything better than putting something else on.

‘Actually yeah, if you don’t mind. These trousers are suffocating me’ you laughed but he just nodded at you with a knowing smile.

‘Yeah come on, I’ll go grab you something’ Mason laughed, reaching down to pull you up before leading you down the hall and even though you were just getting changed, having him lead you to his room by the hand made your legs weak.

You followed him in, watching him pull some stuff out of his drawers and handing them to you with a smile before he nodded his head into the bathroom.

‘I won't be long, you can get changed in here’ he told you. Popping a quick kiss to your cheek before he left you to it.

You were just pulling his top over your head when you heard the bathroom door click open. Turning around to see Mason's eyes already over your bare legs and you gulped as he made his way over to you.

‘Sorry, I thought you’d be done’

‘It's okay’ you whispered, placing your hands on his chest as he wrapped his around your lower back and you felt the air shift immediately.

‘Sorry about Woody, I know you waited to wait to meet people’

‘It’s honestly fine, I think we’re gonna be besties’ you winked and the little laugh that erupted from him filled you with pride. You knew he had the prettiest smile you’d ever seen and you loved making him laugh, getting to see him so happy made you feel like you were floating.

‘Oh yeah?’

‘Yeah, apparently I make you really happy and you don’t stop talking about me’ you teased, letting him kiss your cheek and jaw but you almost lost it when you felt his lips at you ear so he could speak.

‘Woody is many things but he’s not a liar, so yeah I’d say that’s all true’ he told you quietly. ‘Woodys a nice entry level, if he’s on board then the rest will be fine when it’s time’

‘Masey’ you whispered, letting him pull back to look at you properly and you could see in his eyes that you both wanted the same thing to happen next. ‘Can I have another kiss?’ You asked, the question only leaving your mouth for a second before he dipped his head and planted lips on yours.

This was nothing like the kiss in the living room. This was slow and steamy and when his hands gripped your bum you let out a faint moan before he hoisted you up to carry you over to his bed. Sitting down at the end so you could straddle him and when you felt his hands on your naked waist as he slipped them under your top you almost lost it.

This was as close as you’d gotten to each other in a while, having not been intimate since he ran out on you after and since you were taking things slowly, sex had been off the table. Ideally you were hoping you could have held out a bit longer and make him work for it, you were drawn back to him like usual. Wanting to touch him and feel him in every way shape and form as you pressed your body into him until you could feel him pressing into you.

‘Mase! Foods here’ Woody suddenly shouted down the hall, the pair of you jumping away from each other before looking up at him. His eyes dark and pretty lips were swollen but he quickly pressed a kiss to your cheek before rolling his eyes

‘Coming’ he called before looking back at you and you both knew you were a little annoyed at being interrupted again but also knew it was for the best. ‘Come back when you’re ready, yeah?’ He nodded, stroking your cheek gently.

‘Okay’ you whispered and with one final kiss he left you to finish getting changed. Giving yourself a moment to collect yourself before pulling on a pair of his shorts and wandering back out to find the pair of them in the kitchen and the smell of the food made your tummy rumble.

‘I forgot to ask, what did you order?’ You asked, coming up behind Mason and placing your hand on his back which made him jump slightly but he was quick to send you a wink.

‘Chinese’ he smiled. ‘Don’t worry, I conveniently ordered your favourite. It’s like I knew you were coming’

‘Why did you do that?’

‘Well I’d consider it our favourite now. You’ve made me see the light’ he winked before dishing you up two identical plates.

‘I feel awful, are you sure there’s enough?’

‘Of course there is love, even got some left over’ he reassured you, planting a quick kiss on your forehead before grabbing both your plates and ushering you into the living room.

You all spoke as you ate, Mason and Woody updating you on some exciting plans and trips they had coming up before Mason was nudging your shoulder and telling you he wanted to take you away at some point but you just blushed as you tried to brush him off. Knowing it was way too early to think about trips when you were still figuring out what everything was.

‘So when can I take you on that first date?’ Mason asked once you’d finished eating. Popping your plates on the coffee table as Woody set the movie up and thankfully Mason pulled you into his body without you having to ask for a cuddle.

‘Whenever you like’ you nodded and the smile on his face my your heart flutter.

‘Okay, perfect. What would you like to do? Remember I said I’d take you wherever you wanna go so think carefully’

‘Hmmm’ you mused, wondering if you should say something completely ridiculous to test the waters as he seemed so cool about everything and when you sent him a cheeky smile he raised his brows at you expectantly. ‘I fancy pizza… in Italy’

‘Pizza in Italy?’

‘You said whatever I want’ you shrugged, watching his face scrunch up adorably as he knew he’d walked into that one but he didn’t seem phased by your request in the slightest.

‘I did say that didn’t I’ he laughed, kissing your cheek sweetly ‘I’ll make it happen’

‘I’m joking Mase’ you told him, knowing if you didn’t he’d actually take you there and the cheeky smile in his face wasn’t exactly doing anything to calm your nerves.

‘No no, I’ll do it-‘

‘Oi, fingers on lips you two. I can’t hear this’ Woody laughed, the two of you bursting into giggles at how stroppy he seemed but you felt bad enough for ruining boys night so you snuggled into Masons chest as he rested his head on top of yours and kept silent for the rest of the movie. Letting Mason kiss your forehead whenever he felt like it and sneak his hand under your top so he could feel your skin under his fingers.

You fell asleep on Mason's chest with around ten minutes left of the film to go. Mason noticing straight away that you’d turned heavy and your breathing was deeper but he let you sleep. Knowing today had been a long day for you and you were exhausted but he couldn’t help but look down at you adoringly. Pressing the softest of kisses to your hairline every so often until the credits were rolling and and he looked over to see wishing giving him a knowing smile that he returned.

‘You gonna wake her up?’ Woody asked quietly but Mason was torn. Looking back down at you so peacefully sleepily on him make him not want to move a muscle.

‘I don’t know what to do. I’d let her sleep here tonight but I don’t know what she wants. She’s had a lot on lately I don’t wanna wake her up’

‘Well you can’t lay there all night, you’ll do your back in’ Woody laughed, standing up so he could stretch his body out but clearly he’d forgotten the remote was on his lap and when it crashed to the floor you woke up with a fright.

‘Shit, sorry’ he whispered, his face turning red instantly but Mason was quick to rub your back and settle you again as your bleary eyes looked up into his.

‘Hey sleepyhead’ he whispered. ‘Do you want me to talk you home’

‘Not really’ you sighed, trying to burrow yourself into his chest even further as you were so comfortable and the rubble of Mason's chest as he laughed made you giddy.

‘Come on love, we need to get up’

‘Nooo’ you protested. Holding your ground as you laid there and you could tell he was amused by your little tantrum.

‘What do you wanna do then?’

‘I think she wants to stay the night, Mase’ Woody called from the kitchen. It making you smile that Woody understood and Mason didn’t and when he looked down at you his cheeks were a bright pink.

‘Do you?’ He whispered, holding you to his chest like he wasn't about to let you go anyway and when you nodded up at him you felt his whole body relax.

‘Is that okay?’

‘Of course it is, You don’t have to ask’ he told you. Kissing your hairline a few times before attempting to get up and eventually you moved yourself off of him and let him lead you to his room.

‘Thank you’ you whispered, ridding yourself of the shorts he gave you so you could sleep in just his shirt and when he eventually climbed in next to you in just his boxers you couldn’t hold in the content hum as your skin touched his.

‘You don’t need to thank me, gorgeous. You know I’ve been dying to be next to you again like this’ he told you. Kissing your head softly wherever he could reach. ‘What time do you need to go in the morning?’

‘I’m working from home tomorrow so I can just get a cab or something’

‘No you won’t, I’ll drop you on the way to training okay?’ He smiled and all you could do was nod and nestle yourself into him further.

This was your happy place and you were so excited to be back.

He stuck to his promise and drove you home in the morning and by the time lunch rolled around this sight of his name popping up on your phone made you giggle like a schoolgirl.

You knew exactly what this meant, and after your heated make out session that Woody had interrupted you couldn’t wait to get your hands on him again. In your mind you’d wanted to wait a bit longer but you physically couldn’t at this point as you were once again drawn back to him and now that you knew he might want to make your first time special you couldn’t stop thinking about what he might be planning.

You saw him briefly once for a quick lunch date on one of his days off but it was for barely over an hour as you had to get back to work but you both knew what was coming up and no matter how much you asked he wasn't giving in and telling you where you were going so your imagination was running wild.

When the day of your date finally came, Mason's driver came and picked you up around 8am. A horrifically early morning by your standards but you wanted to get there early so you could check in and get settled and ready for Mason and in the back of his fancy car with a movie on, the drive didn’t feel that long.

You didn’t know what hotel you were staying at exactly, Mason had given you the name but you’d never heard of it and hadn’t bothered to look it up but when you eventually stumbled from the back of the car it you thought you’d been dropped off at the wrong destination.

‘Are you sure this is it?’ You asked the driver as he unloaded your case but he nodded at you warmly as he set it up on the floor for you.

‘100%’ he laughed. Clearly catching on to your stunned expression. There were fancy hotels and there were fancy hotels and this was definitely the latter. ‘Reception is just through that door, will you be alright or do you want me to come in with you?’ He offered and even though you could have used his support, you felt a bit silly so just shook your head lightly.

‘I’ll be alright, thanks though’ you smiled and bid him a quick goodbye before making your way inside.

The reception was huge, a high ceiling with a grand chandelier and you must have looked a bit lost as someone directed you to the check in desk and you were checked in fairly quickly. Taking both room keys as Mason said he’d just text you when he was here so you could let him in and you made your way up to the top floor.

Once the door was open you wondered again if something had gone wrong somewhere. The room was huge with a huge double bed and balcony but the glass walled bathroom that you could see straight into made you blush. The shower being the perfect spot to watch from the bed and your mind was going crazy with all the possibilities.

Mason had told you to treat yourself to room service for lunch before you got settled for a nap, knowing Mason would still be a few hours and once you were awake you took and everything shower before you started getting ready. You were expecting a call from Mason at any moment and just as you’d finished drying your hair you heard your phone ping and you knew he was outside.

‘Hello gorgeous’ he smiled, cupping your jaw and pulling you into a kiss that made your knees weak before you let him in fully. Letting him dump his bag on the bed before he turned to look at you again and the cheeky smirk on his face was making you blush. ‘Nice robe’

You laughed as you looked down at yourself, not wanting to get fully dressed after your shower you’d just changed into the rather racy black underwear you’d bought specifically for tonight and thrown the fancy hotel robe over the top so you could get ready in some comfort but you could tell from the look in his eyes that he wanted to undress you right here and now.

‘Well I’ve never been in a hotel this fancy, and I’ve always wanted to try the robes on so I’m just living my little fantasy’

‘Trust me, so am I’ he drawled, his eyes all over you as he took you back in his arms. Hands trailing down to grab your bum as his lips landed on your cheek before he littered kisses down your neck and you knew exactly what he wanted.

‘Nuh uh, I need to finish getting ready with no distractions’ you told him, pulling away so you could walk over to your makeup bag but you knew he was pouting behind you.

‘But I haven’t seen you for a week’

‘And we got all night to make up for it’ you reasoned, flashing him a smile before picking your bag up and nodding towards the balcony. ‘Now I’m going to do my makeup’

‘Spoil sport’ he laughed, kissing your forehead as you made your way past. ‘I’m gonna have a shower okay’

It was probably a good thing that you were doing your makeup outside and away from Mason, knowing that if he was showering you’d be able to see him in all his glory and you’d probably end up joining him so you kept yourself out of the way and only went back in to get changed. Taking a few lipstick options into the bathroom with you as you were still undecided and wanted to be fully dressed before you settled on a colour.

Your outfit was fairly simple, a short black dress that showed off your legs but the long sleeves kept it a touch more conservative and you knew Mason would love the way it clung to your body and accentuated your hips.

You’d never worn it before, but the tube of red lipstick you’d purchased a while ago and never opened had called your name whilst you were packing last night. Wondering if Mason would like it and since you’d kept the rest of your makeup pretty simple you figured it would be fine to try. Applying it as carefully as you could so you didn’t smudge it and once you were done you wondered why you hadn’t tried it sooner. You felt sexy and you couldn’t wait to go and see what Mason thought.

His jaw physically dropped as soon as soon as he saw you. Eyes trailing all over you as he took every inch of you in and you felt yourself blush under his stare. No one else had ever made you feel this way by just a look and it was like he had the power to make you crumble.

‘You look unreal’ he breathed, walking towards you slowly before resting his hands on your waist. ‘I wanna kiss that lipstick off you so bad’

‘Well you can’t, not till later anyway’ you told him as his pout was evident. Kissing your temple and your cheek before pulling back to give you another once over and you felt your tummy flutter at the way he was looking at you.

‘This is like torture’ he whispered, squeezing your hips but the way you bit your lip as you smiled clearly send him over the edge as he met out a shuddery breath. ‘That's it, we’re not going’

‘Mason-’

‘Nope sorry, I won’t be able to concentrate on anything if I’m sat opposite the human embodiment of Betty boop. I can barely think of a coherent thought right now so let’s just skip dinner’ he laughed and even though you knew he was joking the thought of a whole evening between the sheets with Mason was tempting. You were starving though and curious as to what he’d planned so you pouted up at him in hopes he’d finish getting ready so you could go.

‘But Mason, I’m hungry’

‘Me too, but not for food’

‘Mason I’m serious’ you laughed, tapping his chest as he wrapped himself around you again but you could see he was only playing and with a slight roll of his eyes he was smiling at you again.

‘Alright fine, let me finish getting ready and we’ll go yeah?’

‘Thank you’ you grinned. Letting him kiss the end of your nose and before you knew it he was ready in front of you. Your mouth watering at how good he looked and now you knew how he must have felt before as all you wanted was to drag him back to bed and have your way with him finally.

You managed to restrain yourself though, the pair of you leaving the room and making your way into the Uber outside and you’d been driving around for around ten minutes when you realised you still had no idea where you were going.

‘So where are we going then?’ You asked nonchalantly, hoping he’d forget it was a surprise but the twinkle in his eye let you know you were still about to be kept in the dark.

‘I thought you knew? Pizza in Italy right?’ He winked, watching a pout form on your lips that he was quick to kiss away carefully. ‘It’s a surprise’

You let him have his fun, driving for another ten minutes or so before you pulled over and Mason helped you get out of the car. This wasn’t an area of London you knew very well and when you looked up at him he was smiling down at you sheepishly.

‘Where are we?’

‘Little Venice’ he smiled as he took your hand and you felt your cheeks redden at how thoughtful he’d been. ‘I know it’s not Italy but it’s the closest we have’

‘Mason… this is…’ you mumbled. Lost for words for the boy in front of you and even though this was already the best date you’d even been on you could tell he was still eager to impress.

‘Is it okay?’ He asked, squeezing your hand as his eyes tried to find yours but you were feeling shy at the way he’d put so much effort in and you couldn’t look at him properly.

‘I’m speechless’

‘Is that good or bad?’

‘It’s very good’ you smiled, finally looking back to him before reaching up to give him a quick peck on the lips as you knew he needed a little reassurance. It seemed to do the trick and before long he was guiding you along the narrow path by the canal until your eyes caught sight of a restaurant that was situated above you on a bridge. ‘Is that where we’re going?’

‘Surprise’ he laughed, letting go of your hand so he could wrap his arm around your shoulder before kissing your head and it was like you were lost for words all over again. Looking up to see his shy smile directed down at you but you were too gobsmacked to think.

‘Mase… it’s beautiful’

‘Just like you then’ he whispered shyly before taking your hand once more and leading you to the door.

It was just as beautiful inside and your table was outside on the middle of the balcony so you could look over the river. Your eyes filling with tears as soon as you were able to take everything in but Mason was quick to grab your hand and run his thumb over your knuckles to settle you a bit.

‘Mase… this is…’

‘Just the tip of the iceberg’ he smiled. ‘I’m gonna treat you the way I should have from the start so you’re gonna have to get used to this’ he told you sincerely but you weren’t sure if you were ever going to be able to get used to it. You felt utterly spoiled and you’d only just sat down.

Thankfully you and Mason liked the same sort of foods so after starting off with some cocktails you ended up ordering a pizza to share and a pasta that the both of you thought sounded nice so you could share that too and you had to stop yourself from getting too giddy as he tried to feed you multiple times throughout the night.

‘How’s the pizza?’ He asked, taking a bite out of the slice he’d just fed you with but the way he rolled his eyes in pleasure let you know he thought it was good.

‘Really nice, what do you think?’

‘I like it, we can compare it to the real thing soon’ he winked but you just looked back at him in confusion until he nodded to a white envelope that was sat in front of the menus that you’d completely missed until now.

You sent him a confused look, but he didn’t crack. Waiting for you to open it before he said anything so you took it carefully and opened it with a slight frown. Unsure as to what it could be but you recognised they were plane tickets instantly.

‘Mason…’

‘It’s not for a few months, have to wait till the season ends, but I promised I’d make it happen and I will’ he smiled.

‘I can’t… Mase it’s too much’ you told him. Shutting the envelope as you were too overwhelmed with what he might have done but he was quick to take your hand and rub his thumb over your knuckles soothingly.

‘Nothing will ever be too much for you, I promise’ he told you lowly and the intensity of it all was making your tummy flip. No longer feeling confident enough to look at his face so you looked down at your plate as you blushed profusely.

‘You still think you’ll be with me in a few months?’ you joked and even though he smiled you could he was about to be serious with you and you weren’t sure if you could take it right now given his emotional you were.

‘I think it’s more you thinking if you wanna be with me’ he smiled. ‘You know I’m in this for the long hall right? You're all I’ll ever need okay?’

‘I’m in this for the long hall too’ you smiled, letting him raise your hand so he could kiss over your knuckles and it was like you could have melted on the spot. You knew tonight was going to be special but Mason really had pulled out all the stops and you couldn’t be more grateful for the beautiful boy in front of you. Tonight feeling like a turning point for you both.

You spent the rest of the night chatting and feeding each other. The pair of you too full for a dessert each so he let you pick whatever you wanted and shared it with you. Pulling his chair round next to yours and under the table you felt him tangle his legs with yours before sending you a cheeky wink and it’s as if you felt as light as air. Nothing and no one could stop you tonight and you couldn’t believe you’d finally made it to this point with him.

Just before leaving you popped to the loo but when you got back Mason wasn’t at your table, wondering if he’d gone to the loo himself but when you sat back down you saw him talking to a waiter just across the room. A concerned look on his face as they talked back and forth before his eyes fell on your and his face softened slightly. Nodding to the waiter and thanking him before walking back to you and when he took your hands in his you knew something was wrong.

‘We’ve got a bit of a situation’ he told you calmly but you could tell he was slightly annoyed. ‘Apparently there’s paps outside’

‘Oh’

‘It’s okay, I’ve got a plan. I think it’s best we don’t get caught together just yet, you know? And that’s not me trying to hide you or anything, I can’t wait for the day I get to show you off but just cause of Robin and everything I-‘

‘Mase it’s okay, I get it’ you smiled. ‘I don’t really want to start a shit storm either’ you told him and the look of relief that took over his face made your heart thump. Clearly he was terrified of what you were going to say but you knew by now the trick with Mason was to keep calm and reassure him he was doing the right thing.

‘Okay, so I’ve called an Uber, one of the waiters is gonna walk you out and put you in the car and I’ve told them to do a few laps before coming to get me. I don’t care if they get my picture I just wanna keep you safe, okay?’

‘Okay’ you smiled, letting him kiss the back of your hand gently. You could see he was panicking about it all a little bit but you knew you’d be fine and the way he was trying so hard to protect you was making you melt.

‘I’m so sorry, I’m not sure who called them but I know it’s shit’

‘Mase, it’s okay’ you reassured him, knowing it wasn’t his fault and that he’d tried to keep this as intimate as he could so you tried to keep his spirits up whilst the Uber made its way so nothing could ruin your evening.

‘Ubers outside okay? If you need me just text me and I’ll come’ he told you as he helped you put your jacket on.

‘I’ll be fine’ you smiled. Giving his cheek a quick kiss before meeting the waiter by the door who gave you a soft smile and opened the door to let you out.

You could hear the commotion of the paps outside, around five of them with their cameras poised ready to shoot but when Mason was nowhere to be seen they went back to talking. Keeping an eye on you for the most part and you knew they were watching you get into the car but thankfully no one took your picture.

It was around five minutes later when you pulled back up to the restaurant, a little ways further down but not too far away so that Mason would struggle to find you and you quickly uploaded a few pictures to instagram while you waited for him.

y/n

liked by

y/n it’s not pizza in Italy, but it’ll do.

comments are limited

After a minute or two you saw the flashes from the cameras meaning Mason had left. He walked quickly but calmly, sending them a quick nod before dropping his head down and getting to you as quickly as he could and sliding in next you with a huff but your driver was quick to leave and thankfully the paps couldn’t get close.

‘There we go, no one suspects a thing’ he laughed. Finally settling in the seat and taking your hand to he could hold it in his lap and even though you were glad to bet getting away you didn’t think you were out of the woods yet.

‘Do you think we should let someone know? Just in case they post the pictures of you?’

‘Nah, no point. Man leaves London restaurant isn’t exactly a hard hitting story’

‘You’re not just any man though are you?’ You laughed, not believing how nonchalant he was being and the cheeky smile he sent you let you know he still wasn’t being serious.

‘You’re right, I’m your man’ he winked before placing a quick kiss to your forehead.

You were almost back at the hotel when a weird noise from Mason's phone startled the both of you and he picked it up with a confused expression as he tried to work out what had happened.

‘What the… I can’t believe it’

‘Mase? What is it?’ You questioned, seeing his expression turn angry and you gulped as his eyes flickered to yours and then back to his phone.

‘Think I know who called the paps. Not for certain but I’ve got a good idea’

‘What? Who was it?’

He didn’t speak, just showed you the notification on his phone but you weren’t exactly sure what you were looking at to begin with.

‘What? I don’t understand’ you whispered, even seeing her name written down sent a shiver through you and after such a nice evening you wondered if this would be the start of the downfall.

‘I forgot she was linked to my calendar, she’s the only person who would have called them cause I added it in there and I’m guessing she could see we were there. She knows how much I hate it when the paps show up and she’s bloody notorious for it’ he told you. Your mind wandering back to the photos of him and her leaving the restaurant he was meant to take you to and now it all made so much more sense.

‘Well at least they didn’t get any of me’ you reasoned but you knew he was still angry about it. ‘It’s fine Mase, please just forget about her’ you whispered and you watched his face drop as he realised how talking about his ex was probably the last thing you wanted to be doing on your first date so he gently tilted your face to look up at him before leaving a gentle kiss on your lips

‘I did a long time ago, I promise’ he whispered, trying his best to reassure you and the sad smile you sent his way broke his heart a little bit. ‘I’m sorry baby, come on. let’s not let her spoil our evening. I’ve got big plans for you when we get back’

‘Oh yeah’ you asked, one eyebrow raised and you tried to hold back a smile ‘like what?’

‘Just you wait and see’ he teased. Kissing the back of your hand before the car came to a stop outside your hotel.

‘Will you shut your eyes for me please?’ He asked, stopping outside your door with a cheeky smile on his face and you were about to question him but he seemed so excited so you just did it. Letting him lead you into your room until he made you stop completely and when he softly told you to open your eyes, the sight you were met with almost took your breath away.

The lights had been dimmed, a few candles were twinkling away on the sides but it was the rose petals scattered all over the bed that made your cheeks burn and you looked up to see him looking down at you shyly.

‘What’s all this?’

‘Put in a little request downstairs to have it all done for when we got back. I just wanted to make things special for you’

‘Masey’ you pouted, holding him by his jaw so you could pop a quick but heavy kiss on his lips and even though it was only small you could tell how happy he was you’d finally properly kissed him with your lipstick on.

‘Can you imagine if they forgot and I made you shut your eyes for nothing, that would have been so awkward’ he laughed, spinning you so he could hold you from behind and kiss your neck but you felt yourself melting into him and knew it was your turn to tease him a little bit too.

‘You know Mase, this is very presumptuous. I don’t usually put out on the first date’

‘No? You put out that first night we met’ he chuckled, his lips right by your ear as he kissed the shell of it and you felt a tingle run all the way down your spine as he loved on you.

‘That wasn’t a date though, that was an ambush’ you told him. Your voice already sounding breathy and he began to stroke his hands over your sides and at this point you were finding it hard to stand up.

‘What about when I took you out for dinner the second time we met. Seem to remember I ended up in your bed again’

‘That was just two friends catching up’

‘Oh is that what we’re calling it’ he smiled, leaning over further to kiss the corner of your mouth and you could have melted on the spot. ‘So no sex tonight then?’

‘I think I could make an exception’ you told him quietly, letting him spin you around so you were face to face again and his soft smile made your breath catch in your throat. No one had ever looked at you the way Mason did and you knew you were putty in his hands no matter how hard you tried to be strong.

‘That’s the spirit’ he laughed, watching his face turn serious before he gently bumped his nose against yours. The action making you smile as you griped his shoulders gently and the need to kiss him became overwhelming. Thankfully you could see it in his eyes that he wanted the same and you couldn’t wait to finally have him again. ‘Can I kiss you now?’

You’d barely nodded and his lips were on yours. It was messy and frantic as he grabbed at you, clearly not able to control himself after not having you for so long and you knew you’d both be covered in lipstick now but you didn’t care. Your need for him was stronger than any of that worrying so you let him have you. Kissing him until there was no air left in your lungs and you had to pull back but the red lipstick all around his mouth made you feel triumphant.

‘Shall we go clean our faces first?’ You asked but he just shook his head before running his thumb across your bottom lip and dragging it down your chin to your jaw. You knew your messed up lipstick was even worse now, letting him grab your neck and kiss along where the mark was and you had to hold onto his shoulders tightly so you didn’t crumple to the floor as your legs were so weak. ‘You sure Mase? We’re just gonna make a mess’

‘That’s what I want. I want you to make a mess all over me’ he growled into your neck and you couldn't contain the moan that fell from your lips. Letting him pull you over to the bed and onto his lap and you could feel him through his jeans already as you straddled his thighs.

He eventually let you grab some wipes to clean you both up. Telling him it was like making out with a clown and you didn’t want to stain the white sheets so you carefully scrubbed the lipstick off of him as he sat and watched you but you could tell he was eager to have you. His hands massaging your thighs gently and once you told him you were all done he wasted no time in gripping your hips and kissing you once more. This time a little softer and slower and you were glad you were sitting down still as you could feel yourself melting into him.

His little kisses moved across your face and to your jaw, peppering them across until he was trailing them down your neck and trying to attack your collar bones. You could feel his hands pulling at your top, trying to untuck it from your skirt and once he had peeled it from your body his hands were unclipping your bra and throwing that to the side too. Leaving you sat on his lap completely bare from the waist up and the sudden exposure to the cold air made your skin erupt in goosebumps.

Now you were exposed to him he wasted no time in attaching his lips to your chest. Moaning with you in unison as he sucked on the hardened bud and you couldn’t help but buck your hips slightly. His warm hands splayed out over your back made you shiver but you loved how he was devouring you like he hadn’t eaten in weeks. Kissing down the valley of your breasts before giving the other side the same treatment and when he finally looked up at you his eyes were dark and wild.

‘I hope you know you won’t be sleeping tonight’ he told you breathlessly, lips brushing yours as he spoke but it was his eyes rolling in the back of his head as you massaged his scalp lightly that turned you on more than anything else.

‘You better have got late check out then’

‘I’m nothing if not prepared’ he winked and you knew then you were in for a wild ride.

He stuck to his word and you really didn't get much sleep. Between endless rounds of making each other feel good you found yourselves laying half on top of each other as you spoke. Mason's excitement for your future was contagious and even though you wanted to take things slowly you found yourself wanting to say things to him you never had before.

You’d forgotten how good it felt to have him in between your thighs, to have him take care of you in a way no one else could. To let him do exactly what you needed him to and as he rocked himself into you slowly with his forehead resting on yours you found yourself wanting to say so much but you were lost for words.

You felt as light as air as he kissed your cheeks, peppering them gently across your jaw and up to your ear where his light moans travelled straight to your brain and made you tingle. Your hands wandering the expanse of his back as you lightly trailed your nails over him and when you finally grabbed a hold of one of his cheeks he growled into your neck.

‘I love every single part of you’ you he whispered. You hadn't heard him say that to you since that night in your flat as you weren’t quite ready to say it back but clearly he couldn’t hold it in anymore. ‘I’ve known from the second I saw you’

‘Mase-‘

‘Shhhhh, it’s okay. I know’ he told you and even though you wanted to speak you couldn’t. His lips claiming yours again as he brought you to a high once more and by the time you’d recovered you were barely conscious. He’d really put you to the test tonight and knew you were exhausted after the hours you’d spent between the sheets so he finally let you rest. Getting you comfortable in his arms so you could drift off and before long you were out for the count.

You were awoken the next morning by the feeling of Mason's lips on your cheeks. Peppering soft kisses repetitively until you were squirming in his hold and you couldn’t remember ever waking up so happy before.

‘Good morning, sweetheart’ he whispered carefully, trying his best not to startle you as you carefully awoke but when you smiled at him softly his lips curled into your favourite smile. ‘As pretty as you look when you’re asleep, you need to wake up my love. Check outs in an hour yeah?’ He told you and you couldn't contain your huff. Barely opening your eyes to look at him but you could see his pout of sympathy for you. ‘I know beautiful, I’m sorry. But it is almost midday’ he chuckled and even though you knew he was right, you shut your eyes again and got comfy.

Even though you were awake he was still pressing kisses to your face, the sound of your giggles mixing together as you tried to hide but he always managed to find somewhere to kiss. Eventually pressing his lips to yours in a sweet kiss that made your toes curl and when he pulled back to rest his forehead on yours you couldn’t contain yourself anymore. The words you’d been holding in for a while now tumbling out of your mouth in a barely there whisper.

‘I love you’

You could tell Mason was shocked. Not expecting to hear that from you quite clearly but the smile on his face was contagious. He’d told you he loved you before but knew you weren’t ready for all of that yet so had cooled off on it until he couldn’t hold it in last night but you knew he loved you as he proved it to you everyday with all the small things he did.

‘You what?’

‘I said, I love you’ you told him again, a bit more forcefully this time as you wanted him to know you meant it and the look of relief on his face made your chest warm.

‘Are you serious?’

‘Yes’ you laughed, kissing him lightly but he was too in shock to reciprocate. Looking back to see his eyes looking a little bleary as his emotions took over and you knew it must have hit him hard.

‘I love you too’ he whispered, laughing as he kissed again but you knew straight away where he was trying to take things and even though you wanted to, you didn’t have time for that right now.

‘Hold your horses, big boy. We don't have time’ you giggled and when he frowned at you you made the same face back.

‘What? You’ve just told me you loved me and now I’m not allowed to do anything about it?’

‘You said we’ve only got an hour’ you argued but you knew he was about to argue back and you had to be strong.

‘I can be quick-‘

‘Mason’ you laughed. ‘I love you, but no’

‘Fine’ he huffed, pressing one last kiss to your lips before moving away from you. ‘I’m just gonna jump in the shower, okay. I love you’ he whispered and you nodded with a smile at him before he left the comfort of your bed to head into the bathroom.

You wondered if this was the whole reason he got this particular room in the first place, the glass bathroom was completely open and as you laid on your side you had a perfect view of Mason under the shower. You knew he wasn’t doing it on purpose, at least you didn’t think he was, but watching his hands roam across his wet body was getting you right in the mood and before you knew it you were knelt up on the bed completely naked in front of him while he stood and watched you. His mouth hanging open as you brushed your fingers softly over your body in an attempt to turn him on like he was doing to you as a little bit of pay back. Knowing he couldn’t get to you easily as the glass wall was in the way but you should have realised by now Mason always got what he wanted.

He was rounding the corner back into the room in a flash. Soap bubbles and splatters of water following in his wake and you squealed as he grabbed a hold of you so he could carry you back into the shower with him.

‘You can’t tell me no and then tease me like that, I won’t have it’ he laughed. Setting you down before pulling you under the warm water and you barely had time to think before he was pressing you up against the slippery tiles.

‘Mase-‘

‘Shhh, I don’t wanna hear it’ he whispered, his hand flying straight to where you needed him so he could circle over you gently and his first touch made you gasp. Knotting your fingers through his hair as he rested his forehead on yours and you knew you were blushing from the intense eye contact he was already holding you captive with.

‘I’ll go slow, yeah?’ He told you quietly but you could already feel his fingers inching back towards your entrance and when he finally began to push his digits in you let out a breath you didn’t realise you’d been holding.

Even though you’d had him multiple times the night before, it still wasn’t enough for you. He would never be enough for you so you took his already hard length in your hand and began to pump him until his eyes were rolling back in his head and he was moving closer to finally get inside you again.

He managed to hook your leg over his arm so you were more open to him and you gasped as he pushed his way inside.

‘You thought you could do that to me and get away with it, huh?’ He breathed, not letting you answer as he kissed you deeply as he snapped his hips back and forth quickly.

You knew he was trying to get out both over the line quickly as you didn’t have time to mess about but as both your highs approached you felt him slow down. Your leg still hooked up over his arm as his other held you at your waist but you moved your hands to cup his jaw so you could look straight into his eyes.

You didn’t know what it was but things felt different. Your wet bodies sliding against each other as you moaned into each other's mouths. Yours eyes all over each other's faces until they settled on looking straight into the others and it was like time was frozen. Just you and the boy you loved as he tried his hardest to push you over the line and you thought you might burst. Stroking your thumbs up and down his neck carefully as you held his shoulders and you wondered how your legs hadn’t given out yet.

You could see it was a lot for him, his skin covered in goosebumps as his dark eyes bore into yours and you knew you were feeling the same feelings. An uncontrollable feeling of love ripping through you for the boy who was resting his head on yours.

‘Y/n.. fuck I-I’ he stuttered, too overcome with emotion to get his words out properly but you just kissed him in hopes he’d relax and keep going.

‘Shhh it’s okay. I know Mase, I feel it too’ you reassured him and the squeeze of you bum let you know he was just as close as you were.

‘God, I love you so fucking much’

‘I love you too’ you whimpered, looking back up into his eyes and you could see they’d become glossy. Clearly too stunned with how he was feeling and when he shivered under your fingertips you knew it wasn’t because of the temperature of the water.

You only let yourselves indulge in each other for a few moments longer as you knew you needed to get dry and dressed. Content with holding each other under the water for a few moments before you both got out and packed up. Mason managing to get himself ready a few minutes before you as you were just zipping up your bag when he groaned behind you.

‘Ah fuck’ you suddenly heard. Turning round to face Mason who was sat on the end of the bed and even though he sounded pissed off, he couldn't hold back a smile.

‘What’s up?’ You asked. Finally zipping your bag up as you were all packed and ready to go but by the look on Mason's face you could tell there was about to be another delay.

‘Come here’ he asked, patting the space on the bed next to him and once you’d taken your seat he passed you his phone and your eyes fell to the photo of Mason immediately. One of him in the same outfit he was wearing last night and it only hit you then that it was last night.

‘What’s this’ you questioned, reading through the article as quickly as you could to get a sense of what was happening and every word made you feel cold.

‘Some shit someone’s published about us last night. You’re my mystery woman apparently’ he laughed but you could tell he was a little pissed about it.

‘What?’

‘Yeah, my brother sent it to me and he’s not happy in the slightest’ Mason groaned. ‘Bad for my image apparently. I should have listened to you last night and told him this might be coming I guess’

‘Sorry, Mase’ you pouted, handing him his phone back but he just wrapped his arm around your back and sent you a small shy smile.

‘Not your fault at all gorgeous’ he winked before placing a quick kiss to your forehead. ‘I’m gonna go call him quickly and clear the air yeah? You finish getting ready and we’ll go home’ he told you and you left him to take his call outside. Watching him pace up and down as he spoke to whoever he needed to but you couldn't tell how it was going as he was keeping his expression blank.

‘How did it go?’ You asked as he walked back in and flopped down next to you. Pulling on your waist so you’d lay with him and once you’d settled on his chest he kissed your forehead sweetly.

‘He put me on the phone to my mum, she’s kinda pissed and I had to tell her about you. I know you wanted things kept quiet for now but I couldn’t not say’ he explained and you could tell he was worried about telling you but you knew it wasn't his fault.

‘No don’t be silly, it’s probably better they know’

‘Well I’m not sure about that cause she wants to meet you now’

‘Oh’ you breathed, knowing it was quicker than you wanted it to be but you knew you’d have to face them one day.

‘Don’t worry, I’ll sort it all out okay?’ He reassured you, kissing your forehead gently as he stroked your hair and you couldn’t help but feel calmer about it. He always had that effect on you. ‘You've got nothing to worry about, they’ll love you’

‘I’m not so sure about that’

‘Why wouldn't they? I love you and you make me happy so that’s all they should care about. The rest is none of their business’ he told you and you knew that’s how he saw things as he’d feel the same for his family if it was the other way around but you presumed they were protective over the baby of the family. ‘Trust me, I’m more annoyed than you are, won’t let me keep my girlfriend a secret for more than five minutes’

‘Girlfriend, huh? Who’s she?’ You teased, looking up at him with a smirk and you saw a look of shock flicker over his face as he realised what he’d said until he smiled it off.

‘Well I mean you told me you loved me this morning, I just presumed’ he joked but you could tell he was a little embarrassed about it still and the bridge of his nose flushed red but you reached up to kiss him softly letting him know it was fine.

‘I haven’t been a girlfriend for a long time’

‘Don’t worry, you’re already the best one I’ve ever had’ he winked, the pair of you laughing as he pulled you into his body. ‘Come on, gorgeous. We’ve got a long drive and I think I want some snacks’ he told you and even though you hated to be going you were excited for the drive with him as you’d never been in his car before.

You stopped off in the small Sainsbury’s that was close to the hotel for some drinks and snacks and when you asked what sweets he wanted he demanded one of everything. You let him know he could only have two things though and once back in the car his hand was either settled on your thigh or his fingers were laced through yours.

You were around halfway home when his phone lit up on the dash. His eyes quickly flashing over before you heard him sigh and his eyes flashed to yours.

‘Everything alright, love?’

‘Yeah uh, could you um… could you have a look on Robins instagram? Apparently she’s posted some stories about me’ he asked quietly and you could tell he was upset about it. You didn’t want to look but you were also curious yourself so you quickly found her and your heart broke as you saw them and what she was insinuating.

‘Is it bad?’ He asked quietly and when you didn’t reply he sent you a sad smile. ‘Can you read it to me? Its fine I promise’

‘Fuck’ he breathed, not realising it was going to be that bad and you saw his shoulders deflate as you replayed what you’d said in your head.

‘Mase, it’s a bunch of bullshit, yeah? We both know she’s just trying to get sympathy from everyone’ you told him in hopes it would make him feel better but you knew not much would right now. ‘Why don’t you post something?’

‘Best not, Lew will lose his marbles if he hasn’t done so already’ he shrugged. ‘It’ll all blow over soon I promise, I know the truth, so do you and that’s all that matters to me okay? I’m done with her mind games and I just want to forget her’

‘If you’re sure. But you know if you want to say anything I’ll be the first one there to defend you’

‘I know, sweetheart’ he muttered, turning to smile at you sadly and your heart broke once more for him. He didn’t deserve any of this and you hated how now she couldn’t manipulate Mason she was just manipulating everyone else.

You spent the next few days in a slight state of panic until he asked if you were free in the next week to meet his family and you agreed no matter how terrified you felt. Treating yourself to a nice new dress so you’d feel confident seeing them and at this point you didn’t even care if Mason liked it you just hoped they would.

You didn’t have to worry about Mason though, his eyes hanging out of his head when he saw you just like usual and it settled your nerves knowing whatever happened he would be there. He did his usual though and relaxed you, telling you how excited they were to meet you and that you’d have nothing to worry about so by the time you were finally there and out of the car you were feeling better than you had all day.

The vibes were off though as soon as you were in front of them. Mason's Dad, brother and brother in law weren’t there yet as they had to pop out for something so you were thrown straight into the fire by meeting his mum and sister first. The bright smiling faces you were expecting to be looking back at you looked sour and unimpressed and they both appeared to be sizing you up. Unfortunately Mason was either ignoring it or none the wiser, wrapping his arm around your waist as he smiled down at you before looking back at them.

‘This is y/n, guys’ he smiled proudly introducing them to you. Watching them both give you tight smiles and small nods but the two babies made up for it by inviting you into the living room to join in on their tea party. You were a little too afraid to leave Mason's side and you could tell he knew it, but he gently squeezed your hand to reassure you before looking into your eyes. ‘Go on, love. I’ll join you guys in a minute’ he assured you and after a quick kiss to your cheek you took Summers outstretched hand and let her lead the way.

He didn’t leave you for long but you knew he’d followed them into the kitchen. His face set as he wanted to ask them why they were being so cold but he didn’t really get the chance as they started quizzing him about Robin and he refused to talk.

‘Can’t you just tell us what happened?’ Debbie asked, her voice thick with concern for her boy but Mason just shook his head.

‘No, I don’t wanna talk about it, okay? It’s done, I don’t wanna see her again and that’s that’ he said bluntly but he could see Jaz was looking at him through narrowed eyes.

‘Well you’ll have to, she’s coming to mum's birthday’ Jaz said nonchalantly and Mason felt his tummy drop. There was no way in hell he wanted to see her again and he definitely was not having you and her in the same room.

‘You what?’

‘I invited her a few weeks ago and when we spoke the other day she promised she was still coming’

‘Look I don’t know what the fuck you thinking you’re doing but if she’s there then I won’t be’ he told them harshly. The pair of them looking at him like he’d grown two heads as they’d never heard him speak like that to them before.

‘Mason-‘

‘Nah nah, I’m not having it’ he told them. ‘It’s a dick move, I’m your brother and I thought I came first over anyone’ he spat but he could tell they still didn’t get it.

‘Look-‘

‘I’m serious, you don't know how hard the last few years have been for me and you don’t have any right to do this. So you’ve got a choice, her or me’

‘Stop being ridiculous’

‘Not you’re being ridiculous, I’m not talking to you about this anymore’ he declared before standing up abruptly. His chair making a loud noise as it moved back and scraped across the floor but he didn’t give them the chance to reply before he left them to finish lunch and joined you in the sitting room.

His heart broke for you as he caught sight of you sat in a circle with the girls. Mila was currently trying to put a tiara on your head as Summer poured you an imaginary cup of tea and it’s like he was falling for you all over again as you smiled whilst you pretended to take a sip.

He couldn’t take it anymore, needing your comfort more than anything else so he walked in and your eyes found his immediately. He knew you were a little embarrassed but with a quick kiss to your forehead he sat with you and joined in much to the girls' amusement. At least there were a few women in his life who weren’t disappointed in him.

‘They don’t like me do they’ you whispered, the vulnerability in your voice making his heart break so he quickly grabbed your hand and kissed your forehead again. Wanting to reassure you that it was all fine but also wanting to prepare you for the fact that today wouldn’t be as easy as he thought it would be.

‘Don’t be silly baby, they’ve just got the wrong end of the stick that’s all, they’ll be fine soon’

‘Masey? Where’s Auntie Robin?’ Summer suddenly popped up and you wanted the ground to swallow you whole. Thankfully it was only the four of you in there and Mila had no idea what was going on but you were still embarrassed and Mason could tell so he took your hand and placed it in his lap.

‘Robin won’t be around anymore, Sums. We’re not friends anymore really’ he told her simply but that seemed to be enough for her.

‘Okay’ she smiled at him, nodding and pouring tea for everyone before taking her seat in between her bears whilst Mila decided your lap would be her seat today.

Mason's Dad, brother and brother in law turned up only five minutes before lunch was ready. Mason seemed furious at them for being so long but when they came in to meet you they seemed a little more friendly than the women in his life had been. They were just awkward if anything which was to be expected and when they were called into the kitchen Mason let them all go so you could have a few minutes alone together and he could build you up a bit.

When you were both ready you followed Mason into the dining room. Thankful that he hadn’t let go of your hand but you could tell he was pissed about something else and you weren't sure what until he was directing you where to sit.

‘You’re sitting next to Summer’ he told, nodding you over to the other side of the table before following you around. You still couldn't figure out why his face was set so hard until he reached across the table to swap the wine glass in front of him with the water tumbler opposite.

‘Mase-‘

‘I’m sitting here. End of’ Mason spoke. Cutting his sister off before she had a chance to say anything else. Pulling your chair out for you to sit down and you knew this was about to be one of the most awkward lunches of your life as Mason planted his hand firmly on your thigh as soon as he was sat next to you. You knew no matter what, at least you had him there for you as he turned to face you with a smile. ‘What would you like?’

Mason didn’t let you lift a finger. Pouring your drink for you before serving up your food for you and you were grateful as you weren’t feeling very confident at all. He was a gem though and constantly checked in to make sure you had enough and you were okay but it wasn’t the food or anything like that that was the problem. It was the company.

If they were trying to make you feel awful then they were doing a pretty good job. Mason had told you they wanted to meet you so they could get to know you but if you hadn't been there it wouldn’t have made a difference in the slightest. Not once did they ask you anything about yourself or try to include you in the conversation, if anything they were purposefully retelling stories that included Robin but Mason had a knack for changing the subject.

Maybe it was the fact you were on edge that made everything they did and said worse but you could feel yourself shrinking as the time drew on. Not bothering to say anything or rock the boat but thankfully Summer was keeping you entertained so you didn't feel too much like a spare part.

Mason was getting irate though so you slipped your fingers through his. Giving his hand a gentle squeeze to let him know you were fine and you could handle it and you watched his face soften as he looked at you before dropping a quick kiss on your forehead. The small act making your cheeks burn but you knew it was half for his family too, wanting to show them he didn’t care what they were doing and that he was all about you.

When lunch was over you offered to help clear the table but Mason was quick to step in and told you you didn’t need to before ushering you into the garden with the girls. You wondered if he wanted to talk to them privately so he could speak his mind without getting you upset but when he joined you outside five minutes later he seemed oddly calm.

You were sitting on the floor with Mila in your lap when he approached you. Resting his hands on your shoulders as he looked down at you with a soft smile before turning his attention to them.

‘Hey girl’s, mummy just told me she’s got ice cream for you inside if you want it’ he told them, watching the pair of them scramble up and run inside hand in hand.

You weren’t sure if you should get up but Mason was sitting down behind you soon enough. His hands on your waist as he tried to lift you into his lap as he sat crossed legged and once you were settled he wrapped his arms around your middle and rested his head on your shoulder.

You felt your eyes sting immediately, finally alone and able to let your walls down a little bit but when he kissed your shoulder a few times you couldn't help but smile. Yes the whole time you’d been here it had been incredibly tense and awkward but you still had Mason. His head hadn’t been turned by anything they’d said but when he moved you into his lap slightly so he could see your face better you felt your lip wobble.

‘Its okay baby, you don’t have to hold it in around me. No one can see you, yeah? You can cry if you want to’ he told you softly and it's like the curtain dropped as soon as he said those words. Your hands coming up to cover your face so you could let a few tears free but clearly you were more upset than you realised. ‘I’m so sorry y/n’ he whispered, feeling your sobs grow slightly before Mason turned you in his arms. Letting you hide your face in his neck as he held you and stroked your back lightly.

‘It's not you, it’s just…’

‘I know, gorgeous. We’ll get going yeah? I’ll go grab your bag and we can go home’ he whispered but you didn’t want to back out now. You wanted to stick by him and prove to his family that you were the right one for him no matter how hard it might be.

‘No it’s alright, I’ll suck it up’ you told him. Nodding your head and wiping your eyes as you tried to pull yourself together but Masons hands were on your jaw to make you look at him in an instant.

‘No I don’t want you to do that. You shouldn't have to do that. I don’t wanna be here anymore either so we can just go okay? How about I run us a nice bath when we get in, yeah?’ He suggested, knowing how much you loved sharing a bath together and you nodded with a smile as he attempted to wipe your eyes. Thankful you could draw a line under today early and be alone just the two of you. ‘Come on then beautiful’

He walked you to the back door but told you to wait there so he could get your things and you weren’t in the state to argue. You were snotty and your eyes were puffy and you didn’t want them to see that they’d broken you so you let Mason go inside. Watching him march straight into the living room and he was met with his mum's guilty face straight away.

‘Mason-

‘I don’t wanna hear it. I’ve just come to get y/n’s bag’ he told her. His eyes scanning the room to try and find it but he couldn’t see it straight away and it gave her an in to keep talking.

‘Please Mase-‘

‘I’m so fucking embarrassed of you guys, you know that? Couldn’t play nice for a few hours and now she’s in tears thinking you all hate her’ he told everyone. Finally spotting on a chair across the room and making his way to grab it.

‘We didn’t mean for that to happen’ she told him, her voice sounding low and guilty and in the back of his mind he was happy about it. He wanted them to feel shit for what they’d done to you.

‘Well it did. She means a lot to me and I’m not gonna stay here and let you guys carry on making her feel like shit’

‘We’ve got your best interests at heart always Mason, we weren’t awful for the sake of it’ Jaz piped up but he was too angry with everyone to stand and argue any longer.

‘I don’t wanna hear anymore, we’re off’ he told them nonchalantly, picking your bag up from the chair and turning around but he stopped just before the door so he could stick the knife in again. ‘You know I never thought you guys would be like this, she was terrified about meeting you but I told her it would be fine cause I really thought it would be. I thought you’d be there for me no matter what and I’m so fucking ashamed’ he gulped, shaking his head as the he turned away, walking back out the way he came with your bag in hand before meeting you just outside the back door. His heart breaking once more as he took in your sorry state but he adored the way you smiled as soon as you saw him. ‘Come on sugar, let’s go’

‘I should say bye at least’ you told him, not wanting to appear rude and make them hate you even more but Mason just shook his head and pulled you along.

‘The don't deserve it. Come on, you're fine’ he told you, pulling you round the house by the side gate until you reached his car. Opening the passenger door for you to climb into and before you knew it you were off. Your heart sank at the way things had gone and you couldn’t stop yourself from silently crying the whole way back. Today had felt like a disaster but Mason kept his hand in yours the whole way home and deep down you knew things would be okay.

The pair of you had your bath, Mason letting you cry a little more until he was trying his hardest to make you smile. It didn’t take much as it came natural for you to be happy around him and by the time you were going to bed you were feeling just about okay again.

Mason was in the shower the next morning when the doorbell went. You were sat on the sofa in your pjs still as you ate the toast he’d made you a short while earlier and you froze at the sound before Mason's voice rang through the air.

‘Can you get that, baby? Should just be a delivery’ he called so you got yourself up and dusted the crumbs off of your body before answering.

When you opened the door you weren’t expecting to be met with the face of Debbie. You knew your face was one of shock but hers was one of sorrow and guilt and you almost felt bad for her so you gave her a tight smile in hopes she knew you were okay.

‘Hi love’ she smiled sadly but you didn’t know what to say to her. ‘Is Mason here? I think it’s best we all talk’

‘He’s in the shower’ you whispered, unsure if you should let her and if Mason would want to see her but she was his mum at the end of the day and you didn’t want to make her hate you anymore

‘Maybe you and I could talk first then? I think I owe you an apology’ she gulped so you nodded her in and took her to the kitchen. Offering her a cup of tea that she gladly accepted before you took a seat opposite her.

‘Sorry I’m still in my pjs, I don’t normally dress like this’ you laughed, trying to make light of the situation but she just smiled at you softly before her face grew serious again.

‘I’m sorry for the way I acted yesterday, well the way we all acted really. We’re very protective over Mason, too much sometimes, and we were just a bit concerned. He’s not spoken about what happened with Robin and we’ve only had her side of the story so I’m guessing we got the wrong end of the stick. We just assumed the worst after that article came out and we weren’t sure about your intentions’

‘I get that’ you nodded sadly, deep down you knew why yesterday had gone the way it had and that you would have to prove yourself so you started here and now while Mason wasn’t around to tease you. ‘I need you to know that I love your son a lot’

‘I know’ she told you sincerely, ‘and you know what, after seeing him with you yesterday I can see how much he loves you’ she confessed. ‘I’ve never seen him act that way with someone. We’ve known Robin since she was 14 and she’s like a daughter to me but he’s never looked at her like that’

‘He’s had a lot going on that he should have told-‘

‘What’s going on?’ You suddenly heard. Looking over to see Mason walking in fully dressed in his comfies ready for your sofa day but the sight of his mum sat in his kitchen clearly wasn’t what we was expecting.

‘I’ve come to talk’

‘You better not have upset her’ he grumbled, coming over to touch your shoulder protectively but you just placed your hand over his and nodded to the chair next to you and opposite his mum.

‘Mason sit down, it's okay’ you laughed, his eyes lighting up at the way you didn’t seem sad in any way so he took a seat and kept your hand in his.

‘Right, I want the truth okay? I know we weren’t the best yesterday but I need you to be honest with me about what happened with Robin’ Debbie told him and you knew Mason didn’t want to. You wondered if some gentle encouragement might help and when his eyes met yours you sent him a soft smile.

‘Come on Mase, I think it’s for the best’ you offered, hoping he’d listen to you but Debbie clearly knew her son and was ready to guilt her way into him talking.

‘You used to tell me everything’ Debbie pouted, looking down and huffing slightly and he clearly knew what she was doing as he rolled his eyes with a little smile.

‘Yeah well this is shit, I don’t wanna keep reliving it and talking about it all the time’

‘Well let’s make this the last time then’ she told him, reaching over the table with her hand up in hopes he’d place his in hers and after a beat he did. Looking up to see his eyes full of tears at the thought of hashing everything out again so you took his other hand in yours and gave it a gentle squeeze in hopes it would give him some courage.

‘I don't even know where to start,’ he sighed. ‘Things with Robin had been bad for a while but i didnt wanna give up you know? Didn’t wanna throw nine years of a relationship away but she made it impossible’ he gulped. ‘I know I told you I bought this place for Woody to stay in as an investment but that was a load of shi- sorry a load of rubbish’

‘What do you mean?’ Debbie frowned and you looked at Mason quizzically too but his eyes were glued to the table as he fought to get his words out.

‘I’ve been living here. I’ve probably only been in the house a handful of times lately cause I needed my own place to stay’

‘Why though?’ Debbie whispered, confused as to why he’d lied to her and you knew the floodgates were about to open.

‘Cause I couldn’t stay at home. She kicked me out all the time over the most stupid things like I can’t even begin to explain but I was always on edge around her. You know, wondering what mood she was in and if I’d be allowed in my own home that day’ he told her and you watched as her face dropped.

‘She didn’t love me in the end, mum. She loved what I could give her. We were kids when we met and we grew apart but she was comfortable with the life I gave her and didn’t want to give that up. You wonder why every time we went out there were pictures? She always called the paps like she wanted everyone to know I was hers so no other girls went near me’

‘Why did you stick around for so long?’ She asked quietly, her voice sad but understanding and you could see how upset she was for her boy.

‘Looking back, I’m not so sure. She had a knack for making me feel awful about her mistakes so I was the one who would always go crawling back to apologise. It was just this weird cycle I couldn’t get out of until I’d just had enough. I get you were trying to protect me yesterday but it was from the wrong person’

‘I think we were just a bit confused. This seems to have happened really quickly’ she nodded before her eyes were flickering between the pair of you be she was smiling softly. ‘So how did this happen then?’

‘It’s my fault, Robin ended things with me and I told myself that I was done and moving on but I didn’t explain everything to y/n at first and when Robin whistled I went running back like i always did cause I’m a moron’

‘So you didn’t… you didn’t cheat did you?’ She whispered and even though he knew why she might have come to that conclusion he was ready to defend himself even if he had been a bit wrong.

‘No way, I would never do that’ he told her. ’I get the lines are blurry and it doesn’t sound great, it’s not how you raised me at all but I’d never do that. I hate talking about it cause I sound like a dick but I only went to y/n when she’d broken up with me and I never told her I had a sort of girlfriend in the beginning’ he huffed.

‘I’m not proud of it, at all. I’m ashamed at how much I hurt y/n when she’s only ever put me first and shown me love. This thing with us, it’s not what Robin said okay? This isn’t just me spreading my wings for a bit, y/n is it for me and that’s why I thought it would be okay for you to meet her cause I know she’s gonna be around for a long time. But Robin got you like she got me and made you believe something else. You know if anything I cheated on y/n, went running right back into the fire after she offered to give me everything cause deep down I didn’t think I deserved her’ he told her honestly and your heart broke for the boy you loved. His eyes finally meeting yours and the soft look in his eye made you melt. ‘But she stuck with me, no matter what I did or how awful I treated her. She was there for me and all I want to do is make her life as easy as she makes mine feel now’

‘I wish you would have been honest from the start’ Debbie huffed, making the pair of you look back at her and even though you could see she was hurting for him you could see that twinkle in her eye that you knew that she could see there was something special between you. ‘Look I’m your mum okay, it’s my job to protect you. But for once I don’t feel like I have to anymore. That’s your job now, yeah?’ She smiled at you and you felt your heart soar at how much she was trusting you.

‘I promise I will’ you reassured her, feeling Mason squeezing your hand under the table as he knew this was a big deal after yesterday.

‘I know you will’ she nodded. ‘You have been for a while by the looks of things. I’m not going to sit here and say I saw this coming from a mile off cause I really didn’t but I could tell something had changed lately. I thought you and Robin had just finally hit your stride’ she huffed rolling her eyes. ‘I really am sorry for yesterday and I’m sorry for taking her side. I would say she can expect an earful from me but don’t worry i’ll leave it’ she laughed and you could tell Mason was happy to put everything to bed.

Debbie stayed for a little while longer, the three of you talking how you imagined you would be the day before and you felt like you made a good second impression. Debbie giving you a big hug before she left and you let her and Mason have a few moments alone while you got settled on the sofa.

You see how much lighter Mason looked when he came back to join you, the smile on his face was permanently etched there throughout the rest of the day as you stayed cuddled on the sofa. Watching all his favourite movies in between naps and plenty of stolen kisses until he couldn’t keep his hands off you and you ended up having sleepy sofa sex as he rested his head on yours and told you how much he loved you repeatedly.

It was just before dinner when things went a little south. You knew something was coming as it always did with you two. Like god was testing you to see how much you could take and because things had been too perfect for you all day he was ready to throw a spanner in the works. You’d just nipped off to the bathroom it finally happened and you felt you heart drop as the shock ripped through you.

‘Ughhhh Mason! What the fuck!’

‘What?’ He called, his voice getting closer as he ran towards where you were and you smiled as you knew he’d probably find it funny.

‘You left the bloody toilet seat up, I nearly fell in’ you shouted back, adjusting yourself as you laughed it off but when you were finished and you finally opened the door, he was sitting on the bed like a deer caught in the headlights. You didn’t take much notice of it at first and made your way over to him but as you got closer you could see the panic all over him. ‘Seat down when I’m here remember’ you teased, trying to get him to smile but your words had the adverse effect.

‘Sorry’ he gulped his eyes falling to the floor as he played with his fingers and you weren’t sure how to take his reaction.

‘It’s alright’ you whispered, taking a seat next to his to hopefully catch his eyes but he’d withdrawn himself completely and didn’t even react when you took his hands in yours.

‘Do you you, um… do you want me to take you home?’

‘No? Why would I want that?’ You asked but he just shrugged his shoulders softly.

‘Cause I did something stupid and annoyed you. I thought you might want to be away from me’

‘Mase, baby, you forgot to put the seat down, you didn’t kill someone’ you told him softly, the hurt across his face only really hitting you then as you realised what might be happening. The pain of his past so evident and your heart sunk that you made him feel that way again.

‘Sorry I just-‘

‘You don’t need to explain’ you whispered ‘I’m so sorry, I was just having a laugh I didn’t even think’ you explained and you watched him take a breath as if he wanted to say something else but the words never came. In the end he just gripped your hand and looked back up at you hopefully.

‘Let’s just forget it then, yeah? He asked hopefully, letting you pull him into a kiss that you both smiled into and even though you knew you both felt a bit rubbish about what had happened you knew you could move on from it fairly quick and reassure Mason that he’d never have to leave you.

The rest of the night went without a hitch and you were determined to make it up to him. Cooking him dinner and even making him a special dessert that he sat and ate it with the biggest grin on his face. The happiness was so evident on him and you felt accomplished that you could make him smile by just treating him how he should have been all along.

The treats didn’t stop there and you changed the bed sheets whilst Mason was in the shower. You knew he loved the feeling of fresh ones but it was also a treat for yourself as his were much softer than yours and after a little bit of a struggle you undressed yourself down to your knickers before crawling inside as you loved the feel of it just as much.

You weren’t in there on your own long, Mason sneaking his way out of the bathroom shortly after you’d gotten comfy and the feeling of Mason pressing himself against you made you shiver. The sensation of his warm skin on yours was second to none and you almost had to hold in a moan at how good it felt to have him next to you.

When you felt his lips on the back of your neck a content hum fell from your lips as you shivered. You knew he’d been waiting to get his hands on you again properly but there was a little voice in the back of your head that was stopping you from getting you fully involved.

When it came to sex, Mason was the king of being unselfish and made sure he gave you exactly what you wanted even at the detriment of his own pleasure. He knew what to say, what positions you loved and sometimes you could tell he wasn’t feeling it as much as you were but he was so into making you feel good that he didn’t care. Doing whatever he could to push you over the finish line before he took care of himself but you were about to change that tonight.

Because even if he didn’t care about putting himself first, you did and as he kissed his way down your back you began to hatch a plan so you could repay him for all the times he’d made you the priority.

As much as you didn’t want to as you adored the way he was touching you, you rolled over and sat yourself on Mason's lap. His hands reaching round to grab your bum as your thighs wrapped around his and you could feel he was hard for you already. Only the thin material of your underwear separating you as Mason hadn’t bothered to put on anything at all after his shower and right now you were glad.

‘What do you want, baby?’ He asked, pulling you further into him as his hands wandered over your naked back and back down to your bum so he could give it a squeeze and you had to hold yourself back from rocking your hips over him as his touches were turning you on so much.

‘Well I was about to ask you the same, what do you want’ you asked, the question catching him off guard a little but he shook it off and sent you a teasing smile.

‘I want whatever you want’

‘Come on Mase, let me do something for you’ you argued and you knew this was about to be a battle that you wouldn’t win easily.

‘Sex isn’t about what I want’ he smiled but you just rolled your eyes at him cause you knew he’d always thought this but tonight you were going to make it all about him.

‘Yes it is, come on tell me. What’s something you’ve always wanted to try?’ You asked him but he was frozen and you knew his mind was blank.

‘I don’t know… how about you sit on my face?’

‘No, that’s not allowed’ you told him sternly and you knew right away he wasn’t happy about it.

‘Why not’ he laughed ‘you said I can pick what I want, that’s what I want’

‘No you don’t, you just picked that cause you know I like it’ you told him, shimming back down his legs before placing yourself in between them. ‘How about I get started while you have a think yeah?’ You asked but you didn’t give him a chance to reply before lowering your naked chest to the mattress and taking him into your hand so you could guide him into your mouth.

‘You really think I’ll be able to come up with anything while my dicks in your mouth- oh fuck y/n that’s it’ he breathed. His fingers automatically coming to your hair so he could brush it out of your face and when you made eye contact you knew you were driving him crazy.

Mason didn’t ask for head that often, only when he was feeling lazy and you forgotten how much you loved having him in the palm of your hand. The way he just surrendered to you immediately as he moaned and groaned with every flick of your tongue made you feel like you were in charge of him and you let yourself get lost in him. Making sure your bum was sticking up high in the hair so he’d have something to look at but when you looked up at him his eyes were fixed in the corner of the room until he was back looking at you.

‘Come on Masey, tell me what you want’ you demanded after coming off of him with a pop. Using your hand to work him as you took a moment to get your breath back but now you’d given him a taste he seemed to be more comfortable with asking for what he wanted.

‘I want you on top’ he breathed, rolling you off him slightly so he could lay down a bit as you took your underwear off but you noticed his head was still propped up slightly.

‘Okay’ you smiled, attempting to climb over his lap but his hands on your hips stopped you in your tracks.

‘Wait’ he suddenly breathed, face cautious as he thought about whether or not he should say what he wanted to but you nodded at him encouragingly to let him know it was fine. ‘Other way’

‘Okay’ you smiled, trying to hide your own nerves as you’d never done it this way before but you did as he asked and settled over him your your back to him, trying to line yourself up with him but when you looked up, the first thing you noticed was the mirror had been moved from the corner of the room and Masons eyes looking back at you through it. ‘You’ve moved the mirror?’

‘Uh, yeah’ he laughed, moving his head back around so you couldn’t look at him though it anymore but when you turned your body slightly to face him you could see how red his cheeks and nose were.

‘You were watching me earlier weren’t you?’ You laughed and he covered his face with his hands before he was laughing too.

‘Yeah I was’ he confessed. ‘I got a glimpse of you the other night and I wanted to try it today. I like seeing you from all angles’ he winked and you felt your tummy flip at how hot you found it but before you could say anything else he was sitting up fully behind you. ‘Now I know you wanna make this about me but I think you might need a bit of help okay?’ He told you. Wrapping one arm around your waist before settling the other on your upper thigh and you knew what was coming as he began to kiss over your back.

You watched his hands move in the mirror, gently tracing his fingertips up and down your thigh before touching you exactly where you needed him to. Tracing over your clit a few times before dipping his fingers inside you and the growl that left his lip made your head spin.

‘This wet just from giving me head, yeah?’ He whispered before playfully biting your side. And you instinctively felt your hands travel up to your chest as you rocked your hips over his fingers. ‘You like it that much I’ll put you to work more often’

‘Fuck, Mase’ you moaned, a shiver rolling through you at just how turned on you were and you couldn’t keep your eyes away from the mirror that was just off to the side. Your eyes constantly meeting Mason's dark ones and the sight of the pair of you was driving you wild.

‘You see yourself, yeah? Can you see what I see now?’ He asked. ‘I’m so fucking in love with you, you know that?’

‘Mase please’ you whimpered, starting to get overwhelmed with everything that was happening but he knew you were ready now. Laying back down and positioning your hips over him before he was guiding himself inside you and pulling you down further into his lap.

You froze for a second or two, not really sure what you were meant to be doing as you'd never done it this way before but with Mason's hands on your bum guiding you, you began to move your hips and the first moans fell from his mouth.

That was all it took to spur you on to keep going. That mixed with Mason's dirty mouth and the image of him sliding in and out of you in the mirror. You’d caught eyes with him a few times as his eyes were flicking between looking at you in the mirror and watching your bum bounce up and down on him. His hands gripping your bum every so often and you knew he was getting close as he bucked up into you.

‘You wanna cum, Mase?’ You asked, the pair of you staring each other down through the mirror and you could tell he was almost done just by how dark his eyes were. His nose red and flushed whilst his hair stuck up in all directions and you’d sworn he never looked so good.

‘I can’t fucking hold it’ he whimpered, the sound of his voice pushing you to where you needed to be and all you wanted was to reach your highs and melt into each other like usual.

‘It’s okay, I’m right behind you’ you told him, the knowledge that you’d been able to work him up into this state had pushed you closer to the edge than you realised and soon enough you were fluttering around him as he held your hips and bounced you on top of him until he was shuddering beneath you.

It was awkward trying to get you off of him and laid next to him without making too much of a mess but you managed it. Curling yourself into his side and resting your head over his frantic heart that you felt start to slow as soon as you were both comfy.

‘Hey Mase?’ You whispered and he looked down at you softly. His brows raised as he was unsure about what you wanted to say but as soon as you spoke your favourite smile returned. ‘I’m in love with you too’

It was a rare few days that the both of you had off when things took a drastic turn. You knew things had been too perfect lately and something was bound to push you off track but never did you think Mason would be up to his old tricks again.

You were doing your skincare in the bathroom as Mason took a quick shower. His phone face down next to yours on the counter and when the sound of multiple texts came through and yours didn't light up, you realised it must be his.

‘Is that my phone or yours gorgeous?’ Mason shouted from inside the shower so you quickly flipped his phone to confirm it was actually his.

‘Yours’

‘Can you see what it is? I don’t wanna get my hands wet’ he told you. Popping his head from around the curtain and his cheesy grin made you giggle.

‘Just a load of texts from Lewis’ you confirmed and he nodded at you before disappearing back behind the curtain.

‘Can you see what he wants’ he asked, shouting the code to his phone for you to tap in but you were stood in shock for a few moments at the fact he’d actually told you how to unlock his phone before you did it and to your surprise it worked. ‘You done it?’

‘Oh um yeah, he’s just confirming about the charity event next week?’ You told him. Trying to hold on the wobble in your voice as you were so unsure and felt like you were invading his privacy.

‘Ahh okay, can you message him back for me? just say thanks and I’ll call him in a bit’ he told you and without thinking you quickly replied with what he’d asked you to. Wanting to lock his phone as quickly as you could as it felt so strange to me using it

‘Okay, done’

‘Thank you baby, I’ll be out in a minute yeah’

‘Okay’ you told him before leaving and getting ready for bed but you couldn’t seem to wipe the smile off of your face.

When Mason eventually joined you, you could tell he was looking at you in amusement. Clearly unsure as to why you were grinning like you’d just won the lottery and when you both climbed into bed he pulled you into his lap so your legs were laid across his thighs with his arms around you and your heart thumped at how he looked down at you.

‘What you smiling at, pretty girl?’

‘You gave me the code to your phone’ you whispered, smiling even wider like a cat that got the cream as he looked down at you and soon enough his face mirrored yours. ‘No ones ever given me the code to their phone before’

‘Well I’ve got nothing to hide’ he told you sinserly, ‘And you can use it or look on there whenever you want to, yeah? I’ll be honest it’s a bit boring but you’ve got free reign’

‘Is it just you and Woody sending each other heart eyes all the time?’ You teased and thankfully he laughed as he ticked your sides.

‘You’ve caught me’ he laughed, dropping a heavy kiss on your lips before pulling back to look at you seriously. ‘You can trust me, you know that right?’

‘I know’ you nodded, and you really thought you could.

The fact he’d given you the code made you not want to bother looking. You knew he had nothing to hide and he’d given you no reason to think anything different was going on until one night after work around a week later you were staying with him again. Mason was taking a call on his work phone in the conservatory when his personal one began to ring beside you and when you looked down at the screen your skin prickled uncomfortably.

Robin? Why was she calling? And why was she still saved in his phone with a heart next to her name and a photo of them all over each other? you wondered. Letting it ring until the call ended before a few texts poured in and your curiosity got the better of you. Punching in the code as quickly as you could with your heart pounding in your ears to try and see what she’d said.

He text her from his other phone? And he was meeting her tomorrow? Surely not this must be some sort of trick she’s playing but the heart by her name and the picture of the two of them making out was making your head spin and you didn’t know what to do.

Mason's voice was soon booming through the house, letting you know he was getting closer so you quickly locked his phone and put it back where it was just in time for him to end his call and take a seat next to you. You tried your best to act casual and like you hadn’t just uncovered his secret but you forgot he could read you like a book and gave you a confused look as soon as he saw you.

‘You alright, gorgeous?’ He asked, his voice full of concern as he wrapping his arm around you just like always but you hid yourself in his body and nodded your head.

‘I’m fine, just sleepy’ you told him, not wanting to say anything and call him out of it really was nothing but you couldn't lie and pretend you hadn’t seen what you had so when he offered you an early night you took it. Noticing how he was reading over messages on his personal phone when you slipped into bed but his brows were drawn and his face fallen as he typed out his replies.

‘You still have that meeting tomorrow after work?’ He asked as he got settled behind you. His arm laying loosely around your tummy as he spoke into your shoulder and you could only muster a nod. Not trusting your voice in case it broke but he seemed happy enough with your reply. ‘Okay, well I’ve got dinner with Rasmus tomorrow night so I might not see you’ he told you and you wondered if this was just a lie so he could go and see Robin. If it was a lie he was horribly good at it.

He was asleep soon after you said goodnight, however you laid there awake for hours. Worrying about what tonight might hold and if he was seeing her again behind your back. You knew you should have said something but in a weird way you wanted him to do it. At least then you’d have the evidence and when you didn’t hear from him for a few hours at around 5pm the next day you could only think of the worst possible scenario.

Much to your delight your meeting was cancelled and rather than go to Masons flat like you were planning on to surprise him you just went home. Wanting to be in your own bed and you laid there with the hump. Wondering what he was doing now or who he was with but after a quick look on Twitter there was a photo of Mason and Rasmus with a fan from half an hour ago and you felt even more confused.

You knew he’d sent you a few texts to see how you were and where you were but you’d left them all unanswered. Not really knowing what to say and if you wanted to see him but at around 9pm you heard the door open downstairs and you know it was him. Making use of the key you’d given him two weeks ago even though you now spent most of your time at his.

‘You here sweetheart?’ He called, hearing him walk around downstairs but you didn’t reply, laying on your side away from the door as you pretended to be asleep just in case he came upstairs and soon after you heard him jogging up the steps and your door opening.

‘Baby? Baby are you- oh shit’ he whispered, his voice getting quiet when he realised you were asleep before you heard him go across the hall to the bathroom. You wondered if he was getting himself ready to come and join you and shit all you wanted was the feeling of his arms around you to make you feel better you could also feel your heart shattering in your chest.

When he eventually came back you knew you were tense so you tried to relax but you could hear him undressing behind you before he slid behind you and his first touch made you jump.

‘It’s okay, it’s only me’ he laughed but when you tried to curl into yourself more so you could hide from him, his tone shifted instantly. ‘Baby? What’s happened? What’s wrong?’ He asked, trying to tighten his grip on you as you pulled away but you couldn’t fight him off. In the end you just face planted the pillows so he couldn’t look at you as the first sobs fell from your lips. ‘Hey come on, just tell me’

‘I feel like an idiot’ you told him, giving up slightly and letting him turn you but you sat up so you didn’t have to lie down with him.

‘Why baby? What's happened?’

‘Where have you been?’ You hiccuped, finally looking over to see him and watching his face drop ever so slightly ‘Just tell me, don’t treat me like I’m stupid. Were you really just with Rasmus all night? ’

‘Baby, I don’t know what you think is going on-‘

‘I know you went to see her, or you’re planning on it at least’ you confessed and it’s like you watched his heart break right in front of you. ‘How could you, after everything?’

‘Look at me, please baby let me explain’ he whispered. Gripping your jaw gently to tilt your face up and in the end you caved and looked at him. This was the explanation you wanted so you might as well hear him out. ‘She’s moving out of the house. You know I said she could stay while she looked for something else? Well she’s going now and I had to meet her so she could sign everything over to me’

‘What?’

‘Yeah, there was some stuff in her name and we said we’d sort it when the time came. I just didn’t want you worrying or panicking so I didn’t say anything but now I realise that was stupid of me cause it’s made it all worse’

‘Oh’ you breathed, the tension lifting off you immediately but you could feel your tears coming thick and fast as you realised everything was fine.

‘I know I’ve still got a lot to prove, but you know I’d never-‘

‘I’m so sorry’ you sobbed, head falling into his chest as he took you in his arms but he just held you and let you cry. Knowing you probably needed to get your emotions out. ‘She called you and I went through your phone. I’m so sorry I know you said it was fine but I get if you want to change the code now’

‘Not at all’ he whispered into your hair before he gripped you tighter. ‘I told you I’ve got nothing to hide and you can look where you want’ he whispered. ‘But baby if you see something or are worried about anything then please talk to me okay? Cause I can assure you it’ll be nothing’

‘I feel like an idiot. I just panicked’

‘I know gorgeous, it’s okay’ he told you but you didn’t feel like it was. You felt like you’d royally messed up even if he was looking at you like everything would be okay.

‘Please don’t be mad at me’ you whispered. Your lip wobbling as you thought you’d ruined everything but he just smiled at you and held your jaw so you had to look at him and you felt your heart rate slow down as he softly stroked your cheek.

‘Hey no, no I would never’ he told you softly. ‘I’m more mad at myself for just not being honest and getting you in a state. I thought i was doing the right thing’

‘I just didn’t want you to think I was insecure but maybe I am’ you shrugged sadly and you could see how much it hurt him to hear you say that as he knew his actions were the cause of it. ‘Its okay, Mase. It’ll just have to be something we work on together’ you told him. Resting your hands on his shoulders so you could stroke his neck as you knew it calmed him but he still looked heartbroken at your confession.

‘I hate that I’ve made you feel like this’

‘Masey it’s okay, it’s just something we’ll have to work on together okay?’ You smiled at him. ‘It's just a blip but we’ll get through it. We always do’

‘I promised myself I’d never make you cry because of me again’ he gulped and your heart broke before you pulled him into your arms. The both of you sad but latching onto the other for comfort and the feeling of him breathing you in made you relax.

‘Let’s just use it as a learning curve, yeah? We just need to communicate more and we’ll be fine’ you told him. Your fingers getting lost in his hair so you could massage his scalp and when he nodded into your neck you knew you’d both be fine. ‘I love you so much, Mason’

‘I love you, too’ he told you. Pulling back just enough for him to kiss you tenderly and when you suggested getting comfy to sleep he let you lay down before resting his head on your chest. ‘We’ll be okay’

‘Of course we will be, we always are’

You were on the phone to Mason on your lunch break two days later when you bought up dinner with a friend but much to your dismay he couldn’t go with you.

‘I might not be able to make it baby, I’ve gotta get stuff boxed up and moved back into the house’ he explained and a feeling you couldn’t describe swirled in your tummy.

‘Oh?’

‘Yeah she’s moving out on Wednesday so I can move back in finally’ he told you and you could hear the excitement in his voice already.

‘Oh wow that’s quick’ you told him, thankful he couldn’t see your face as you weren't exactly sure what expression you had on right now. Still processing that you’d have to take on this whole new part of his life when you were so comfortable in the current version.

‘Yeah I thought Thursday maybe we could go there? Stay the night like get settled and get you used to it there. What do you think?’ He asked and you didn’t know why but the idea filled you with dread. You knew the plan was always to move back in once she was out as that was Mason's home but now the time was here you weren’t sure how you felt about moving into somewhere that was so full of her.

You brushed it off though, trying to be positive about the situation, telling him it was a great idea and it was fine until he was pulling onto the drive and you felt awkward immediately.

If you thought his flat was nice then this was a whole different game. You’d never seen a house like this before and even the driveway felt bigger than your whole flat.

Even from the outside you could get a feel for how nice it would be inside. The size and scale was overwhelming and you knew it was well taken care of as all the plants and lawns on the outside were in perfect condition but you had a sneaky suspicion none of that was down to Mason.

He was dying to get inside though and as soon as the car was off he was jumping out. Looking up in what only can be described as pride at his home before he was searching for you and holding out his hand for you to take.

‘What do you think?’

‘Its huge’ you whispered and when he wiggled his eyebrows at you suggestively you rolled your eyes at him with a smile.

‘Come on, let’s go in’ he laughed but you felt yourself stuck to the floor until he was pulling you forward. ‘You want the tour?’

‘Okay’ you nodded, trying to send him a smile but it felt forced and he could see you were nervous so he kissed the back of your hand before walking you inside.

It was huge, five times the size of his flat and you knew you’d get lost in there eventually. But it wasn’t just the size of it that was throwing you off, it was all of Mason's memories that were attached to it.

It was homely in a way that Mason's flat wasn’t. There you could tell it was made for a man to live in whilst this place had a woman’s touch all over it. The empty picture frames a reminder of maybe what used to fill them and the bunch of flowers in the hall made your tummy squeeze.

She was everywhere you looked, from her water bottle that was conveniently left in the kitchen to some of her skincare in the bathroom. You didn’t feel safe from her anywhere and the longer you walked around the worse you felt.

It was like taking a tour of his old life, the one you both wanted to forget, but Mason seemed to be in his element. Walking around and finding things he thought he’d lost and telling you silly stories from moments when he lived there but thankfully they only involved him or Woody.

You couldn’t deny the house was beautiful, loads of bedrooms so all his family could come and stay and a cute cinema room with massive cushions and a big fluffy blanket but the smell of what you could only presume was Robin’s perfume was lingering and you felt your eyes sting. You wanted to be as excited as he was but you just couldn’t.

After the grand tour he went and grabbed your bags from the car. You ordered food in the end, sitting on the sofa as he told you about all the changes he wanted to make that he was never allowed to and you began to relax as thoughts of her left your mind. Hoping you could maybe one day erase every part of her and not think about her being there in every corner of the room you looked.

You could feel yourself relaxing as the night went on but you knew what time it would be soon and your heart was racing but not in the usual way Mason made it.

‘You wanna head up to bed, love?’ He asked, kissing your cheek softly as he stroked your arm but you didn’t reply. This was the part you’d been dreading but when he pulled you up you went with him, following him up the stairs and into the bedroom and once you were in you froze.

Everything was wrong. The smell in the air did nothing but remind you that this used to be their shared room and it was clear that she’d been living here for a while. Thankfully the sheets looked fresh but you still felt uncomfortable about it so you took your time in the bathroom getting ready for bed but the empty products of hers in the bin made your eyes sting.

Once you were ready and couldn’t waste any more time away from him you joined him back in his bedroom. Watching him undress down to his boxers and jump right in, clearly wanting to get comfortable as quickly as he could so you could cuddle like you’d promised him all day but you were frozen to the spot.

That was their bed and this was their room.

He’d picked his usual side, was that always his side? The thought of you getting in next to him was too much for you and you just wanted the ground to swallow you up completely.

‘Baby? Is everything okay?’ Mason asked. His voice soft as tilted his head to look at you, but you kept your eyes on your hands as you played with your fingers.

What were you supposed to say?

In the end you heard him move, climbing out from under the covers so he could make his way to the end of the bed and sit on the edge. Beckoning you over to him again but this time you went to him. Letting him sit you on his lap as he kissed your temple and you felt a shiver roll through you.

‘You don’t wanna sleep in here, do you?’ He asked quietly, gently tilting your face up so you’d look at him and the understanding look on his face made your heart break.

‘Sorry’ you sniffed, trying to keep your bottom lip from wobbling ‘I just-‘

You were cut off by the feeling of him sweeping you up in his arms and walking towards the door. A slight giggle coming from your lips that he laughed at before he walked you down the hall and into one of the spare rooms that you’d been in earlier so he could pop you on the floor gently. Wrapping his arms around your waist slowly and only then did you look at him properly, a soft look on his face and you knew you had to explain yourself a little bit.

‘I don’t know how to say this without it sounding awful but I’m struggling being here a bit’ you confessed and a sad but knowing look crossed his face. ‘I know she’s gone but she’s everywhere I look, it’s like one in one out’ you joked but you knew your comment had hit him hard.

‘I don’t mean for you to feel like that at all, baby’ he whispered before kissing along your hairline softly.

‘Do you want me to take us back to the flat? I don’t mind’

‘No it’s okay, I’ll be fine here’

‘She’s never slept in here i promise. This was my room for a bit when we first started arguing, before I got the flat. It's also Summers room when she stays’ he told you and you felt a lot better about being in there.

‘Let’s sleep here then. Make some new memories’ you smiled at him and you could see his shoulders relax now he knew you were happier in here.

‘I love you so much, you know that right?’ He whispered, trying to reassure you as best as he could but you felt a lot better already knowing that he understood.

‘I know’ you smiled, watching his face relax ever so slightly. ‘And I love you just as much’

You didn't see Mason for a few days as you were both busy with work but when you had some time Mason invited you over to the flat. You wondered if he’d ask you over to the house but you couldn’t say you weren’t relieved to turn the key in the lock and find him cooking for the pair of you in the kitchen.

Once you’d both eaten you let him find a movie for the pair of you as you went to the loo but as soon as you returned you could hear him finishing up a call and he gave you a sly wink as you sat yourself down next to him.

‘Who was that?’

‘Estate agents. They’re gonna come take pictures of the house tomorrow’ he told you nonchalantly but you weren’t about to let him say that without an explanation.

‘What, why?’

‘Cause I’m selling it’ he smiled and you knew your face was one of shock.

‘What? Mase no I didn’t mean-‘

‘No no, you were right’ he reassured you. Wrapping his arm around you and pulling you further into his side. ‘That house is too full of memories i’d really rather forget so I’m getting rid and we can start fresh yeah?’

‘Mason…’ you whispered, not believing what you were hearing but he was just smiling his usual goofy smile and you knew you’d be okay.

‘I’m gonna start looking for some new places but why don’t you have a look too? We can go and view them together but there’s no rush cause we’ve got here in the meantime, but this next place I want it to be ours okay? So think about what you want and don’t want’

‘Are you sure?’ You giggled. The prospect of living together officially hadn’t really crossed your mind yet even though you spent every night together and the thought of looking for a home together thrilled you.

‘C’mere’ he whispered, pulling you further into his lap and all you wanted was to kiss him. ‘What did I say on our first date, huh? I’m in this for the long haul, remember. I know it’s a big step and we can wait until you’re ready but we spend all our time with each other that we can anyway and it can only be better once we’re finally together under the same roof’

‘I can’t believe we’ve made it to this point’ you laughed, trying to keep your tears at bay as you seemed to cry at the drop of a hat these days and you wanted to keep yourself in check but Mason's cheeky smile was helping and you knew he was about to make a stupid joke. That’s why you loved him though.

‘We’ve come a long way, huh? And I can’t tell you how excited I am to be so far away from any neighbours’

‘Your neighbours aren’t bad here’

‘Yeah but now I’ll get to fuck you without everyone hearing’ he whispered against your cheek and a loud laugh fell from your lips.

‘Masonnn’ you groaned, trying to act like you were annoyed with his dirty words but you couldn’t ignore the way your tummy flipped at the thought of being able to fully let go with him and try new things. You’d always tried to be quiet here as you knew the walls weren’t exactly thick and as you tried to hide in his neck he just held you tighter to him.

‘Sorry baby’ he laughed, pulling away so you couldn’t hide your face and when you looked up at him he kissed you deeply before chucking. ‘Do you wanna go and have really quiet sex?’

You didn't say a word, just giggled onto his lips before pulling away and leading him into the bedroom so you could take care of him just how he’d liked it as since you’d bitten the bullet and asked what he liked, you had discovered a new found love for pleasing him.

He still fought you on it, letting you know he wanted to make it all about you but every so often he let you have your way and tonight was about to be one of those nights whether he liked it or not.

You knew he loved it though and when you were both knackered and spent you laid facing each other in bed as he held you to his body. Both sharing a pillow as your noses just about touched and the way he was looking at you like you hung the moon was making you blush.

‘I love the way you love me’ he whispered suddenly, feeling his thumb brush along your jaw as his nose bumped yours lightly. ‘I hope I can make you feel how you make me feel’

‘How do I make you feel?’ You asked, your voice just loud enough for him to hear and even in the dark you could see his eyes twinkling. Wanting to spill the contents of his brain and heart to you as he was feeling everything for you right now and all you wanted was to let him know you felt exactly the same.

‘Safe. And understood. Like loving me is easy’ he confessed, your heart breaking at the way he didn’t believe he was good enough and you quickly pressed a kiss to his cheek in hopes it would make him feel even a tiny bit better.

‘That’s cause it is easy’ you told him, feeling him relax as he let out a breath he’d clearly been holding for far too long and when you heard him sniff you knew he was getting a little emotional. ‘Why do you think I fell for you in the first place, huh? Loving you is like breathing to me. I don’t even have to think about it, it just happens and I fall more and more for you every second I’m with you’

‘I don’t deserve you’

‘Yes you do. You deserve to be loved just like everyone else is’ you told him and you almost smiled at how emotional the pair of you had become. ‘I know you've never had someone prove that to you but you do Masey. You’re the kindest and most gentle man I’ve ever met, you make me laugh more than anyone else ever has or ever will do. You’re my world, and my life is so much better with you in it Mase. I love you so so much’

‘I love you too’ he whispered. His voice thick as he tried to hide in your neck so you turned onto your back a little and let him rest his head on your chest. Your words had hit him luck a truck and he swore he’d never been so in love with anyone or could ever be again. You flipped his world upside down in the best way possible and he couldn’t help but spill his guts to you. ‘I never thought I’d feel like this about someone, I know it’s early but I’m gonna marry you one day’

‘Oh yeah?’ You laughed, scratching his head gently whilst trying to make out that you weren’t as affected by his words as you were but you knew your heart was thumping right under his ear.

‘Oh yeah, get the proposal in my head already’ he joked as he squeezed you a little tighter. ‘I just don’t ever want us to end, you know? You're my home and I’ve never had that before. We’re twin flames, remember?’

‘I remember’ you whispered, kissing his head gently before he was looking up at you in awe again.

'Can I tell you something silly?' he asked, his voice quiet in the silent room but you heard him loud and clear and wanted him to know he could tell you anything.

'Of course you can'

'Sometimes when I think about you I feel so full of love I just wanna burst like I can't contain it' he laughed and you squeezed him tightly to your body thinking he was the most adorable thing before he looked away again out of shyness. 'I can feel it right now like I don't know what to do with myself'

'Look at me you laughed, wanting to see his face again as you spoke and when his gentle eyes landed on yours you let your mouth run away with you. 'I feel like that too, a lot actually. I know we didn't take the easy route, but I wouldn't change anything for a second okay? All of this shit we've gone through it's just made us stronger and you're worth every single tear I've ever cried so please don't ever say you don't deserve me cause I love you in ways I can't even love myself' you confessed. Watching his eyes glaze over and you told him everything he’d ever wanted to hear but little did he know you weren’t done yet.

‘At the end of the day, it’s all about finding your person and you, Mason, you are my person. The person I want to spend the rest of my days laughing with, crying with. The one who I want to come home to and fall asleep next to every single day and I hope you don’t ever forget that’

‘Your my person too’ he whispered, overwhelmed by everything you’d said and you knew you had to break the ice a little bit.

‘I better be’ you winked but he just rolled his eyes as he sat up slightly so he could hover over you.

‘Can I take that as a yes then?’ He smiled, referring to him mentioning that he wanted to marry you earlier but even though you knew what the answer would be already you didn’t want to inflate his ego at all and you knew he already knew the answer.

‘You’re too much’ you laughed, pulling him back down next to you so you could hold each other again but as he got settled back next to you on the pillow you knew deep down he’d never be too much for you.

Thank you so much for making it this far and finishing. I really do appreciate it and I hope you loved reading it as much as I loved writing it. Od love to hear what you thought so please do let me know as it would make my day 🩷 love you guys xxx

#fic rec #absolute perfection

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spookypotato · 4 years ago

Text

Hey! It's the 20th of January! Perfect time for me to finally post my secret santa fic I might have forgotten about right? Absolutely. So here it goes :)

This was and is still for megss (@charginger)

I also wrote her a poem and I thought I would include it :)

Your Secret Santa, it is I,

so okay, I would really lie,

if I were to tell you I would have guessed,

that you would be a bit more impressed.

Anyway this is the big reveal,

the time for my identity to unseal,

Hey, I'm Veronika, I hope you like what I made,

may it help the christmas cheer to not fade!

I had two assistants, I shall not forget,

@ninak803 and @marauderss-hp only because of them it's finally set.

there might be mistakes, at least so I worry,

my english isnt perfect, I am sorry.

Merry Christmas! you wonderful snowflake,

now read to find out what Sirius might bake!

cw: food

Hope's favourite cookies

"Hurry, Remus.", Sirius was running around in the kitchen, trying to find ingredients for their christmas cookies.

"I am, I am, although I dont think this is exacly an important task, right now."

"Remus, mon loup", he stilled for a short moment and placed a kiss on Remus' nose, "This will be my first christmas with your family. It needs to be perfect. They need to like me.", he stated, like it was obvious and began looking over the recipe, mumbling to himself.

"I'm pretty sure, you're like their favourite non-related person in the world-", realizing Sirius wasn't even listening and carefully pouring the exact amount of flour in the bowl they needed, Remus trailed off.

Walking over to his - way to stressed for this occasion - boyfriend and wrapping his arms around Sirius' waist, he told him, looking over his shoulder at the dough he'd made so far, "Baby. Please relax, alright? They already love you and it will be perfect."

When Sirius turned around in his arms Remus could see the doubt and stress on his boyfriend's face as two lines formed on his forehead. Going up to his toes, he kissed them away, like he had wanted to do for years. "Besides", Remus grabbed a bit of the dough and put it into his mouth, "not serving my mom's favourite cookies is definitely not on the bad-boyfriend-list."

Sirius finally looked a bit more relaxed. Then he suddenly narrowed his eyes at Remus, "There isn't actually a list, right?"

"'course there is", Remus answered and watched the fear as it seeped into the face in front of him. "I'm kidding, baby.", he gasped out after he couldnt hold his laughter back any longer, "Don't worry, okay? They love you and nothing will change that. Now put this dough in the fridge, there are more important things to do!"

They parked in front of the Dumais' house. Remus looked at the time displayed in Sirius car. "We're late. May be because of your obsessive need to achieve perfection, but at least we're finally done with everything right?", Remus leaned over and gave his boyfriend a kiss on the cheek.

Sirius smiled sheepishly, "Yeah, sorry. I'm just nervous, you know?"

"I promise you, the evening with our familys will be perfect. Now stop worrying, we're late.", with that Remus got out of the car leaving his boyfriend to shake out of his daze and follow.

Their arms piled with presents, they made their way to the front door, Remus using his foot to ring the doorbell, as if it was an everyday task.

The door opened with a "Bonjour!". Sirius could'nt see the other man, but recognized Pascal's voice behind the big present he was holding.

"Hey Dumo. How are you?", he heard Remus say as they walked into the living room, toeing of their shoes to not get the clean floors dirty.

"Good. Finally relaxed now that the presents are all done.", he added the last part as he moved closer to the couple, almost whispering.

It was that moment they all heard loud footsteps on the ceiling. Children running around to the direction of the staircase.

"Shit. Um-", Sirius almost threw the present into Dumos' arms, the gears in his head visibly clicking into place to find a solution for their poor time management, "Okay, Remus! Can you get the rest? I'll distract the kids."

Remus looked amused as he saw Sirius determination to not ruin the children's christmas with the shocking discovery that santa was in fact just their parents.

So he obediently got all the presents from the trunk of Sirius' car and brought them into the basement, so Pascal and Celeste could place them underneath the tree in the night.

Sirius having chased Marc up the stairs, could be heard as he probably tickled him mercilessly, if the shrieks and laughs from both boys were anything to go off of.

As his boyfriends was probably just waiting for some kind of sign from Remus, that he had stored the boxes away, he went up the stairs aswell, just catching Marc running off to his room, having escaped Sirius grasp. Sirius made a move to follow him, but stopped as he saw Remus.

"All set up?", he asked, putting his arms around Remus waist.

"Yes. Stored securely away from curious children's eyes. They probably know about Santa already, you know?", he leaned against his boyfriends chest.

Putting his chin on top of Remus head he replied, "Yeah, I know. I just don't want to risk it. I dont want to ruin their view of christmas."

"What about Santa?", came a small voice from their right. They hadn't noticed Katie's door opening. "Did you hear something from him?"

She looked a bit tired, but somehow also full of excitement for the evening and probably even more for tomorrow morning.

"Non, mon petit chat. But, usually that's a good sign.", he let go of Remus to lean down to her, "It just means that he's busy making and flying out presents. And that nothing went wrong, so let's hope we only hear from him tomorrow morning, eh?"

"Oh. Yeah, then I hope so too.", there was a short pause, but then the seven-year-old's energy came back. "Ooh, Sirius! Can you help me choose a dress for dinner?" She was jumping with excitement and how could anyone say no to that face.

He kissed Remus and smiled at him, before following Katie into her room.

"So, I have a green one, a pink one and a blue one. Which one should I wear?"

Sirius knowing she would look adorable in all of them actually couldn't decide. Her whole evening could depend on this choice. Okay, maybe he was being dramatic, but he wanted to choose a good one. Then he noticed her glancing over to the green one, again and again. So he told her that, he liked that one the best and was rewarded with a wide smile.

Kissing her head with a "See you downstairs in a bit.", he left her room to join the others in the kitchen.

Just as he wanted to enter, the door bell rang.

He went over, hearing Remus and Pascal trail behind him and opened the door.

"Merry Christmas Eve!", Hope said cheerfully and hugged Remus.

"Hi, mum. I missed you."

"You forgot about us, Re'?", he just saw Julian run up to them, from where he had still been at the car, jumping up to his brother.

Remus lifted him with ease, "Wait, who are you again?". At the shocked expression of his brother he cracked up, laughing and getting them both inside.

"Pascal.", he Lyall greeted, "Thank you so much for hosting us all this Christmas."

"We're happy to have you! You're Sirius' family, so you're mine! Now, come inside. It's way too cold out here and dinner is almost done."

They all went into the kitchen. The food smelled amazing, so it was pretty hard not to be drawn to Celeste's current working space. Even though she was clearly a bit stressed, she chipped into the conversation every once in a while.

Sirius looked around from where he was leaning against the counter, standing next to Remus, "So when will Reg be making an appearance? I didn't think he'd go out on Christmas Eve."

"Oh. He's not. He in the basement-"

Dumo was cut of by Sirius, who was now leaving the room with quick steps in the direction of the stairs, shouting, "In the- That little shit. It's Christmas, Reg!"

Finally everyone was sitting at the beautifully set table. There were candles and carefully set up evergreen twigs, next to the delicious Christmas feast (it could not be described as a dinner). From were the table was positioned, everyone also had a wonderful view of their Christmas tree. Decorated with red and gold ornaments and an angel on the very top.

As soon as they had all sat down to eat, the stress Sirius had piled onto himself was somehow gone. He held up easy conversations with everyone, even one on one with Lyall. He seemed like he'd known them for years. They talked about hockey and the ride here and Remus really enjoyed watching his boyfriend bond with his family.

Until his mum joined in again, having had a separate conversation with Pascal about their kids.

"You know, I have video of Remus and Julian on christmas, when we bought them each their first hockey equipment."

Remus knew exacly how that had gone so he was determined to not show any reaction and just move on to the next topic. Sirius however had exacly the opposite planned and he never despised his boyfriend more then in that moment.

"Hope. Please. With all that holy to me, I beg you to show me that video someday."

Okay, that could go alright. Someday. Maybe Sirius would have forgotten until someday.

Once they were all finished eating and the kids were already starting to go to bed, they thanked Dumo and Celeste again, not only for the beautiful atmosphere, but also for the amazing food that left them all more than full up to the point, they couldn't even eat Celeste's christmas cookies anymore. Of course they got a to-go package full of every flavour that she had made that year.

Afterwards they all left for Sirius' house.

"Please can I drive with you? Pleeeaaase?", Julian begged Remus, standing in front of Sirius' car.

"'course, Jules-", Remus barely finished before his brother said, "Thanks. Alright, shotgun!"

And that's how Remus got to watch his boyfriend and little brother from the backseat, while they were discussing what Jules might get for Christmas.

It was a rather short ride to their house, filled with a long string of "I won't tell you." 's and "Pleeeaaaase." 's, but when they arrived Julian jumped out of the car like it was on fire.

"Easy there. You won't get any gifts from us until mum and dad are here."

Now they were all settled onto Sirius' massive couch and Julian was jumping up and down, probably breaking the springs any moment.

"Alright, seeing as Jules is ready to burst from excitement we'll start with our gifts."

Sirius left to get the big red one they had hidden in their bedroom.

Meanwhile, Hope was leaning over and noting smugly, "our gift, huh? You two bought your gifts together?"

Remus looked at her a bit sheepishly. They had been dating for over a year now, it didn't feel wrong to give out gifts together.

His mum saw his worried face and simply said, "No, don't worry. It's sweet."

Just as Remus wanted to reply his boyfriend came back into the room with Julian's gift, placing it on the floor in front of him. It was nearly as tall as Julian himself.

He picked it up and shook it. He could hear something moving inside, but that didn't help him determine what it could be.

Remus tore his eyes away from his brother's excited face, to look at his equally excited boyfriend. He was on the tips of his toes until he broke, "Come on, Jules! I'm dying here. Just rip it open!"

Remus had to laugh at Sirius impatience and enthusiasm, but he also wanted to see his brother's reaction.

"No!", was the first thing they heard and it was Lyall's voice. Apparently he had already seen part of the gift.

Julian ripped the wrapping away completely and tore the box open, revealing a lions hockey stick and a jersey, both with his number and name printed on it.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you! I love them!", running over to his brother and Sirius and hugged them both, almost making them fall over from his force. "My team is going fo freak out!"

"I'm glad you like them."

Sirius visibly relaxed, "Can't be a real Lion, if you don't have the proper gear."

"Well, now I can! Okay, okay. I have something for you, too."

Sirius and Remus sat down and waited for Julian to get Remus' gift from where they had left them in front of the door.

"Here. For when you miss us."

Remus carefully ripped the wrapping paper away to reveal a snow globe. He turned it around a saw landmarks from his home state. It was incredible.

Remus eyes became teary. "I love it. But hopefully you'll never be gone long enough for me to miss. Oh, come here."

Jules came over and hugged him, but then the younger jumped up and ran out the door again.

He came back with another gift. He walked over to Sirius. "For you.", Julian held out he gift.

"Jules! There was no need to-"

"Its nothing, really. It's just something small. You might not like it, but I made it and I wanted to give it to you.", Julian looked a bit embarrassed, now.

Sirius removed the wrapping from the rectangular object to reveal-

"It's a picture of my family.", Julian told him.

Sirius looked at the framed photo. It was after a game. The Lupins had come down to the lockerroom. It was Lyall with his arm around Hope. Julian in front of them, flashing his brightest smile. Remus standing next to them. And to his right Sirius. Holding Remus close, a hand on Julian's shoulder, smiling. Now it was Sirius' time for tears.

"Jules, Julian. This is the sweetest gift I've ever received, thank you." Sirius couldn't really put into words how much this meant to him. To not only be accepted, but welcomed into this new family.

"Oh, come on. I- I need a group hug, please."

They all piled onto Hope like they were on the ice. Sirius being the first, hugged her the tightest, not wanting to let go. He could feel all of Julian pressed to his side and Remus as he kissed his temple. He even felt Lyall's hand from the other side on his shoulder blade, pressing the group together.

Apparently, he really didn't need any cookie bribes, it seemed like he was fine just the way he was.

mon petit chat- my little cat

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cottoncandyjester · 4 years ago

Text

Kinkmas day three- pegging with ushijima wakatoshi

Ah I'm excited for the next three days the most they are going to be so fun

Also might post these early cause next few days I'm going to be busy with moving

This story contains: pegging, malesub and femdom, lots of praise, begging, use of the word mistress and ma'am

To say that wakatoshi didn't love you was insane, he loved you with every fiber of his being hell he was obsessed with you and wanted a big happy family.

He was quite whipped cause of you and was like a loyal lapdog, outside he was this stoic cold hearted person but you knew who he really was.

"toshi! I got you a gift!"

Your chirpy voice was music to his ears as he rushed to you as you walked into the house, he hated when you left but you promised to always come back so he didn't mind too much.

"welcome back my love, I missed you"

He wouldn't dare touch you without your permission, but he really wanted to hug you. The feeling of your body pressed against his always filled him up with joy, his eyes landed on your hands which held a large black bag

"hmm what's that?"

"glad you asked toshi!"

With that you reached into the bag and took out a box along with a bottle of lube, as you presented the box he could feel his face start to heat

On the box was a picture of thick strap on, one of the biggest he's seen in a while. A shaky breath escaped him as he thought of you using that on him just wrecking him until he's sobbing under you

"will you be using that on me tonight, ma'am?"

"nope! Thought I'd ask tendou if he wanted me to use it on him, he would be an interesting bottom"

Wakatoshi tensed up at your words and felt a numb feeling wafting over him, Tendou? You were going to do what? His mind was so distraught that he didn't even register your joking tone or even your laugh

Before he could even think he had pinned you against the front door now panting heavily as images of you and Tendou filled his mind Tendou touching you, kissing you, fucking you and even you fucking him. He couldn't take such an idea

"no, I won't allow it. You're mine and mine alone I don't share you not now or ever"

Wakatoshi was practially foaming at the mouth with rage as he pressed his large hands on your hips now holding you in place. You have been quiet during this and suddenly reached up gripping the male's face squishing his cheeks together while giving him a nasty glare

"just who the fuck do you think you're talking to like that toshi?"

That's all it took for wakatoshi to revert back to that submissive role, he was on his knees in less than a second now having regret and mercy swirling in his eyes. He had definitely forgotten who he was talking to and how this relationship worked

"I'm sorry ma'am, I was wrong I shouldn't have snapped at you I just-"

"I suppose it's my fault, I shouldn't have made such a joke but the fact that you acted out is just wrong seriously"

Your eyes landed on the box and lube that fell to the ground before a thought popped into your head. You wanted to put him in his place but honestly you didn't want to give it to him easy so you simply turned away giving him the cold shoulder

Wakatoshi tensed before he crawled towards you before grabbing your leg softly feeling as if his entire world was breaking, you ignoring him was something he couldnt handle one bit.

"love? Please. You want to punish me yeah? So please"

Wakatoshi moved his arms to lock them around your waist now nuzzling his face into your back as he kissed along your spine trying to appease you in anyway he could. He needed your attention or else he truly felt like he would die

"please, mistress I'm begging you..just please"

You glanced bwck at the male only to see he had the saddest puppy dog expression you've ever seen, with a long sigh you turned around and ran your fingers through his hair trying to relax him since he seemed to be shaking with absolute worry

"alright toshi, just relax okay? I'm not leaving or anything like that."

You softly moved his arms and picked up the box before giving him a grin which only seemed to peak his interest.

"let's see how fast you get get to the bedroom and strip for me yeah? Giving you give minutes"

Once those words left your mouth the tall male shudders before standing and making his way quickly to the bedroom as you watched with an amused look.

You took this time to open the box and take the strap on out to admire it, you had to hold it with two hands it was just that huge. You made sure to grab the lube as you started to make your way to the room

"toshi! I'm coming!"

You could hear panicked shuffling coming from the room before you got to the door and opened it seeing a sight that made you incredibly wet.

Wakatoshi sat naked on the bed already trying to prep himself for the massive strap-on, having two fingers inside his ass as his cheeks flushed a heavy red and he bit his bottom lip to supress those lustful grunts and groans

"wow, what a good boy toshi. Already knowing exactly what to do huh?"

"i-i want it so bad mistress, I want you so bad so please ma'am please fuck me"

His needy little plea drove you wild and you started to strip down feeling wakatoshi's hungry eyes on you as he pumped his fingers in and out of his ass faster clearly wanting that toy

"alright toshi, what position do you wanna be in?"

You could watch the gears turning into his head as he took his fingers out and simply patted the spot infront of him clearly wanting it in a missionary position as you buckle the strap-on onto you and lathered it with lube you could practically feel wakatoshi's excitement as he watched you with a needy stare

You moved onto the bed infront of him having to get on your knees before you lined the strap-on in now pushing the tip inside you hearing a shaky sigh come from the large male, as you pushed in more and more you heard soft grunts and groans coming from him until the toy was fully inside.

You moved closer to toshi hovering ontop of him before your reached out and placed a hand on his cheek watching as he opened his eyes to look at you before giving a small nod.

As you rocked your hips now starting to move in and out that's when toshi begin to get quite loud, it was no surprise to you since you're used to this but it was always something to loved to watch.

"m-mistress, please go faster. Fuck me harder it's okay I can take it just- ahh~ please"

You did exactly what he wanted now picking up your speed watching as he shuddered and twitched under you before he reached out interlacing your hands together as drool dripped down his chin and his eyes rolled back a little from the under bliss.

"hehe, you look so lewd toshi. Do you like this? You like being fucked like this? "

"i-i love it so much, please don't stop. Mistress I love you. I love you so please make me yours"

You couldn't help but chuckle at his desperate words so as you slammed the strap on in and out of him you let out a shaky sigh as you watched wakatoshi writhe and whine from under you. He was an utter mess and you knew he was close

"I'm going to cum, ma'am please let me cum. I'm allowed to right?"

You reached out stroking his cock as you fucked his inside roughly, as you ordered him to cum you watched at wakatoshi practially teared up from the feeling of pleasure while he climaxed all over your hands and himself.

The sight alone made you have your own climax and you twitched now letting out a low moan before a sigh escaped you, you licked his cum off your hands before pulling out and trying to catch your breath

As you moved to get a towel you felt a grip on your wrist, you looked back to see toshi looking at you with a needy stare, his eyes still glazed with lust as he softly pulled your arm

"what's wrong bab-"

"let's go again, please."

you shuddered at the thought of going again and an amused sigh escaped you as you walked back towards the bed before crawling onto it with a grin

"alright toshi, we'll go as many times as you want"

You really shouldn't have said that cause it seems wakatoshi's plan was to do it with you all night long.

Taglist

@jennasquishy8

#yandere imagines #haikyuu smut #yandere haikyuu imagines #haikyuu imagines #wakatoshiushijima #wakatoshi ushijima #kinkmas 2020 #kinkmas

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witchcraft-in-wonderland · 4 years ago

Text

Potions and Princes (Pt.1)

-------------------------

Virgil never really had much talent, at least not where his family was concerned. His brother Logan was the brightest witch their teachers had ever met, his mother the most beautiful, and his father the most powerful.

And then there was Virgil, utterly useless and utterly pathetic at any and all magical endeavours.

He wasnt even sure he should still be at the boarding school for witches in training, he'd barely passed his entrance exams, Logan always told him that he was better at magic than he gave himself credit for, but Virgil never really believed him.

"I'm telling you Lo, they're gonna kick me out any day now! You graduate next year and then there's nothing stopping them from doing it!" Virgil said, spread out across the couch in the common room.

"Virgil, they're not going to kick you out just because I'm not here, you've been performing magic perfectly well for a sixteen year old witch, and you've still got five years left to improve," Logan said, twirling his wand in his hand and watching the blue and pink waves emanating from the end of it.

"That's easy for you to say, you've never had a problem getting a spell to work or a potion to mix correctly," Virgil said, pouting slightly.

"I think you're perfectly attentive with potions," Logan replied, spinning his wand in a quick circle to cancel the spell and putting it back in his pocket.

"Clearly you've never actually watched me make a potion," Virgil replied, grimacing.

"Well, you have some of the highest potion marks you can get, so clearly you must be doing something right," Logan continued.

Virgil paused for a few seconds, fidgeting with the hem of his black skirt.

"Can we talk about something else. . ." Virgil said finally.

"Of course," Logan said, sitting down next to Virgil and moving so Virgil's head was resting in his lap.

"How'd that meeting about your top surgery spell go?" Virgil said.

"Swimmingly," Logan said, a grin spreading across his face.

Logan and Virgil were similar in a lot of ways, but they were also very different. Whereas Virgil could go ages without a hair cut, wear skirts, and didnt mind not having his binder on, Logan wouldnt be caught dead dressed femininly, Virgil liked the darker aspects of magic, those made Logan shudder just to read about, Virgil laughed at just about anything, it took a very well times joke to get Logan to laugh, Logan had a loving boyfriend named Emile, and Virgil was so undesirable that not even a toadstool would've chanced him.

"That's good, how do you feel?" Virgil asked.

"Its a little sore, but it wouldve been like that without magic to," Logan answered

"I'm just glad your happy," Virgil said, smiling.

"Have you written to mom and dad yet?" Logan said.

"No. . ." Virgil replied. It wasnt that he didnt like exchanging letters with his parents, but they always wanted to talk about his classes and his marks, never how he was feeling or if he'd made any friends.

Granted, Virgil hadn't made any friends, he was just as lonely now as he had been when he started attending the school at age six.

But none of that was helped by his status in relation to the most famous family of witches in the millennia.

Roman Prince-Duke and Remus Duke-Prince were the most coveted pair of twins from the moment they made their availability known. Within the year Remus had found himself smitten with one Patton Boleyn, but Roman was still very much available.

Not that it mattered since he practically hated Virgil's guts. He'd glare at Virgil when he walked into the room, whisper about him when Virgil thought he wasnt listening, and would absolutely lose his mind if they had to work together.

So Virgil had given up hope of being noticed positively by the handsome prince, because Roman had made it very clear where he stood on Virgil's existence.

Virgil awoke the next morning twice as exhausted as he'd been when he went to bed. This was of course, perfectly normal form him, he never got sleep, that was just how he worked.

He checked the schedule on the side of his bed and felt his heart sink as he read his first class of the day, dueling.

Virgil was a complete disaster when it came to duels, he couldnt focus enough to get any spells to work right and he was always so busy thinking about spells that he never remembered to block them.

The sinking feeling in his chest was only amplified once he read over his partner for today's duel. Roman, of course it had to be Roman. Roman with the smile that could stun better than any form of magic, Roman with the brain that could come up with a new spell within seconds, Roman that could block any attack with a flick of his wrist.

Virgil began mentally preparing his will as he walked inside the building.

"I cant duel with him! Are you sure theres no way to change the pairings?" Virgil froze as he overheard Roman's voice talking to the instructor, he sounded scared, maybe even upset. But Virgil just assumed he was imagining things and moved on.

He barely paid attention to the other duels until his name was called, only then did he finally look up to the stage.

He felt numb as he stepped up to the center, and even worse as he watched Roman approach from the other end. He wanted to curl up in his overly-large sweater and disappear into the abyss.

"On my count, the duel will begin in five!" Virgil's grip on his wand tightened.

"Four!" He watched as Roman dug his feet into the wood.

"Three!" Dear gods why was he smirking? Did he have to be smirking?

"Two!" Virgil tried to keep himself focussed.

"One!" A flash of light, sparks, and then it all disappeared.

And in the center of the smoke, was a small, red and white, frog.

Oh gods oh gods oh gods nonononono please tell me someone else did that nonononono this cant be happening- Virgil's mind was racing as he watched the teachers rush over to what had been Roman mere seconds ago. He wanted to run, he heard yelling, angry yelling, he felt things being thrown, heard people getting their wands out.

The teachers made quick work of getting Roman back to normal, and Virgil had rushed out of the room almost as soon as he saw the shock on Roman's face.

"Virgil!-" Roman called after him, but Virgil was already rushing across the grounds back to his dorm, he didnt need to hear anything else about what a horrible witch he was, and he certainly didnt want to risk getting cursed.

He was so busy rushing off in fact, that he barely noticed the figure watching from the tallest tower of the school.

----------------------------------------------

Tag list:

@meowthefluffy

@willowaudreykeyes

@thefivecalls

@nerosdayinhell

@thecolorfulolive

@melodiread

@frog-candy-bee

@frawkeye

@cemmy

@teamplutoforlife

@pricklyfish777

#cori writes #potions and princes au #long post #ts patton #ts remus #ts virgil #ts logan #ts sides #ts roman #ts emile #moduke #romantic moduke #intruality #romantic intruality #prinxiety #romantic prinxiety #lomile #romantic lomile #tw panic attack

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wri0thesley · 4 years ago

Text

many many anons under the cut bc i didn’t want anyone to feel like i was ignoring them and i wanted to respond to u all! warning for small text too, it was so long i wanted to make it look smaller fgbnjkgkjn

Anonymous asked: NAT... you can write WHATEVER you want! It's your blog, and I hope that rude anons can learn to respect that. I used to be on your blog just for jjba content too, so when you started getting into jjk I was indifferent but eventually you dragged me into jjk so hard!! I already like bnha, so seeing you write for it only made me happier! I hope that you continue to write whatever make YOU happy:) ❤and yes, longer fics certainly doesnt mean it's better, quality over quantity

ahh i’m happy that you are here for all three!! i always feel so accomplished when someone is like ‘your constant screaming made me think about jjk <3′. all three of the fandoms are fairly popular and i tag everything v carefully so i hope people who do use the filtering find that useful!!!

Anonymous asked: Goodness gracious. People really be out there thinking they're entitled to dictating what kind of content you should be making

i think part of it might be that i do take requests so people feel like they have like . . . a certain right to certain kinds of my content? i take requests mostly bc they keep me motivated, i like making content for ppl who cant find what they want bc i’ve Been There, but maybe people think i am a pushover? idk i am just trying to have a good time!!!

Anonymous asked: Hi. I only started following you a few days ago but please ignore that rude anon. People are so fucking entitled towards writers it's insane. I recently had someone throw a fit for "spoiling" something in my fanfic, even though the fic was about a manga-exclusive character, so what did they expect?? Overall I've really enjoyed your writing so random assholes coming to guilt you is just a shitty thing that happens. Keep going with what you wanna do.

ah gosh anon i’m sorry about that :(. i’m always super careful tagging spoilers and stuff but like, if someone clicks on a fic about say, naoya or the steel ball run boys and is mad that i spoil something they havent found out yet . . . yeah thats on them fgbnkjgfkjn

Anonymous asked: That...that anon had the nerve to say "we". The fuck?! No no no anon, YOU'RE the only one talking and you're just talking for yourself, don't you dare try and lump us other anons/followers up with you to make yourself look like you're right. We love you nat and we appreciate you. It's your blog, you're allowed to write about whoever and whatever. This brain dead anon just needs to either go read someone else if they're that salty or write their own stuff if they're that impatient.

gosh i WISH some of my mad anons would just write their own stuff honestly. idk if this anon thought they were talking for everybody but i guess they expected anons to agree with them and not be mad at them. i appreciate u anon ;_;

Anonymous asked: Just want to say that ily and you’re one of the best jojo fanfic writers in my opinion 💗 I don’t think you’re half assing jojo fics and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you being multi fandom. A lot of jojo blogs have started posting about jjk so it’s not as if you’re the only one. I’m not sure why you get hate like this but I think it’s just because you’re one of the popular writers and that makes people bitter for whatever reason. Keep being you and posting about the things that make you happy 💕

honestly after so long writing for jojo - i’ve written well over 200 jojo reader insert fics - sometimes it feels like i’m retreading stuff, and that’s when i take a break bc i dont wanna half-ass stuff!!! i love all of my fellow jojo friends who are posting about jjk too, i appreciate them <3.

Anonymous asked: Hey my dude, ur writing has really grown since the jojo days and its better and awesome seeing u become happier to branch off and write in different fandoms 🤌🤌 those stupid anons are just boring farts that couldnt be bothered making their own content 😤😤 is it possible to block them to ease ur mind?

hello anon!! i run a statcounter for IPs but it doesnt always work for ppl who access through the tumblr app, i don’t think; a lot of the anon hate i get i just use the ‘block’ option, but last night got to me because i’ve been getting that kind of writer a lot which is . . . a bad look for the jojo fandom who are, as a whole from the ones i’ve interacted with, lovely!!! <3

Anonymous asked: People often forget, the person behind art or writing, is just another regular fan. You deserve to be happy with what you create and we should be thankful you share your talent with us. You also have right to change your main interests, and it's very normal thing. Jojo is one of the MANY things that you write for and all you get from that is a like or share. Its not your job. It's your fun thing to do, in spare time. You haven't betrayed anybody. That person was just rude, selfish and bored.

i am just a person doing my best!!! anime fanfic is one of many interests i have and i already devote a lot of time to it honestly, i love when people tell me they’ve enjoyed something i made bc it makes it feel worthwhile but equally it gets to me a lot when people are rude because i am usually trying my hardest.

Anonymous asked: Bro that jjba anon... the entitlement🤮 Fam, you write whatever you want to write😤 -Saturday

dfnjbkjnkgf i find most fic readers are NOT entitled at all and are just grateful but when they are . . . oof.

Anonymous asked: It's funny how people throw "we got you popular" and they think you start apologize and cry. Your writing and passion made you gain few numbers on a follow counter, nothing more. I think I'm too old for stuff like this, we are nothing more, but +1 on a number scale. You ow us nothing, we ow you nothing. Popular... Funny word. You just write for fun of it, fake scenarios about someone's manga characters. It's not that deep. Have fun and don't listen to people like this. I knew it's not that easy, but they are really not that important as they think they are.

extremely fun fact for people who think ‘popularity’ is important to me: i would 100% rather have 10 people who regularly comment, reblog my fics with tags and interact with me than 100 people who read my fic and either leave a like or simply move on. i think this is true for the VAST MAJORITY of writers tbh. i’m glad that people think i am a ‘popular’ blog (i am not in the grand scheme of things, one of my ex-best friends used to run a kpop reader insert blog with like 30,000 followers) bc it gives me an ego boost lmao, but i really just want people to read and enjoy the stuff i write!!!

Anonymous asked: I followed you a while ago for jojo and when my friends started getting into jjk i was like...eh sounds like work...but now that I see you writing for it I feel really motivated to get into it!!! I really enjoy your writing and I want to be able to read the new stuff too!

ah anon i really hope you like it!!! it’s only one season rn if u wanna watch the anime and there isn’t too much of the manga to catch up on either but it is a lot of fun and it’s nice to be in a fandom that’s like, excited about a new chapter and new plot developments every week!

Anonymous asked: Pls dont reply if u dont want to! <3 I'm not sure if this will be of any help to you or not but this is the kind of thing that often helps me and is the only way I know to try comfort others so I wanted to give it a go~

Now im not gonna say 'dont feel bad pls' bc I know that's not really useful but what I do think is useful is just discussing why that anon and many others feel the need to respond that way. As someone who follows a lot of writing blogs myself and have done for a long time, i've seen my handful of favourite writers come and go for different reasons, lose motivation for a while, gain motivation for a while, go from multi to single fandom, or single fandom to multi. Often times as a reader it can be upsetting when things change but it's also important as a reader to understand that some things aren't in anyone's control, I can't control what my favourite writers become a fan of or lose interest of, I can't control things in their personal lives that may motivate or demotivate them to write, but what I can do is support them as long as they're active, and if they move on to do things i'm no longer interested in or i'm the one that changed interests, rather than being upset that they're evolving to do other things or that they're not evolving with me, I think it's important that I still feel thankful for the works that I enjoyed while we were still on the same page and this is how I personally deal with those negative feelings. I think the anons that lash out at you probably just dont know what to do with themselves, maybe they got attached to your works while you were still only a jjba blog and now that you're evolving they're upset, while I understand how they feel, they're going the completely wrong way about it. I've learned to take these things and turn them into something positive for myself or at least something bittersweet that I can move on from but the anons that lash out at you for whatever reason probably haven't learned this yet. Maybe it's because i've moved on and changed interests a lot myself that I know how these things go for both writers and readers but those anons maybe haven't experienced this as much so they dont know what to do with themselves other than complain that you've changed and throw insults at you in an attempt to get you to revert back. None of this is because of the quality of your writing like they want you to believe, it's literally just because you've evolved and while some of your old followers might not like the new content for no reason other than it not being their cup of tea, it's definitely not regressed at all. You are pumping out a lot of content right now but every single thing i've read has just been better than the last. Things that really stand out to me is how well you get characterisation down to a T and all of your dialogue is just on point and from the pov of a reader I think those things seem the hardest to get right so I am such a huge fan of your stuff at the moment and I can tell you're really putting so much thought and care into each and every fic no matter how fast you're producing it, I think the fact that you're also proud of what you're writing at the moment really shines through as well and I just adore the passion that radiates from every completed request as well as in the responses for the subsequent thirsts resulting from these works that appear in your ask box later (I know i've sent quite a few by now~)

Just to be clear i'm not defending those anons in any way, while I can understand what they might be feeling/why they're reacting in the way they are I still believe it's just so immature to be hateful online point blank. Even during a time where I still got upset with writers if they started doing something else I still never targeted that negativity directly to the writer and sending rude or hateful comments whether on anon or not never something i'd stooped low enough to do even when I still had an immature way of thinking, however, I hope that it might make it a little easier to brush them off if we try and understand what they're really upset about, and that they're just putting the blame for their negative feelings onto the wrong thing rather than coming to terms with change themselves.

hello anon!! i appreciate the long message. i do feel bad for people who have no interest in what i’m currently producing and i get that they feel upset about it; i’ve watched a lot of fellow jojo writers move on completely or just stop posting, honestly. this kind of thing is why i was so intense about asking people if it would be better if i made a separate blog but the resounding answer seemed to be ‘i’m just vibing with whatever happens and i’ll block tags as needed’.

i often return to works by my favourite reader-insert writers who no longer write for the fandoms i like (and i read stuff bc it sounds interesting or i trust the person who writes it), but change can be difficult and i guess at this point i’ve - whether u like me or not lmao - been a fixture in jojo reader-insert tumblr for a While so it’s probably kind of jarring.

anyway i really appreciate you and the nice words! <3

Anonymous asked: hi nat! I just wanted to pop in and say that regardless of what fandom you write for, the love and care you pour into your writing and into interacting with followers who care about your work as well is really obvious. you're doing this for FREE and people should appreciate what you've given us so far, since ultimately this blog should be for you, whatever that means to you at any point in time. it's ok to jump fandoms! the important thing is that you feel good about what you're producing and that it makes you happy. everyone else is just a bonus - but, seeing you on my dash certainly makes me happy : ) I hope you feel better soon!

thank you anon! i’m feeling much better and happier today. birthdays are very difficult for me (i did not think i’d be alive at eighteen, much less 25!) so this event is definitely kind of a way for me to concentrate on something else, and i’m a little bit extra sensitive atm. i appreciate you so much, thank you for the kind words!!! <3

Anonymous asked: Hello! I just wanted to say, write what YOU want and make YOUR writings as long as you'd like. 💖 To the anon who is like "We mAdE yOu FaMoUs dOnt HalF asS iT" stfu, let people do what they wanna do. If you think they half do it, write something better and longer you asshat.

this is an open invitiation to that anon to send me a link to their writing blog and i’ll hype them up i promise <3

Anonymous asked: nat i'm so so sorry about that ask please know that your older followers don't share the same opinion :( sometimes people forget about the living, breathing person behind the screen smh. you are not a machine. you absolutely should not restrict yourself to posting about one fandom forever. yes, we're first pulled in by your amazing content, but we stay for your wonderful personality and work ethic. please just keep being you, taking up projects you feel comfy with! <333 bless u

ahh thank u anon! unfortunately i actually am a writing robot, i’m sorry u had to find out this way. my jojo chip has been removed, please send it back so i can continue to not half-ass my jojo work. fgnjkbgjkfn thank you so much angel!!! i appreciate you ;_;.

Anonymous asked: i don’t think it’s fair for other people to say shit about what you choose to write about because on tumblr and other writing platforms, writers are constantly developing how they write and the fandoms that they write for. it’s not fair for someone to criticize that “you don’t care about jjba blah blah blah” because you can enjoy new shows/manga. and like you said you’ve grown so much!! proud of you nat and im glad that ive been able to read your works (sincerely other nat)

i am STILL waiting for you to come and fight me other nat fgnjkbnf. it’s nice to be enjoying different things! i am constantly learning new things and reading new works and making new friends and improving and i think that’s important. i do care about jjba - a lot! but i can care about other things too! <3

Anonymous asked: I may not be one of your oldest followers, but i've been here for almost 3 years. Yes, i started following u for ur jojo content, but let me tell u, ur newfound motivation and enthusiam for other fandoms was honestly contagiuos for me. And i say this as a person who finds very difficult to move from one interest to another. Jojo is great, but so are other fandoms. Please don't let some faceless scum rob u that motivation. This is ur blog and u r always free to write whatever u want.

honestly, i have been there! i am autistic and i have special interests and watching other people move on to stuff i’m not vibing with has made me sad in the past, but i want people to be happy more than anything and sometimes that means new things and change! <3

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I saw that rude anon message & I just wanted to pop in & say that they're wrong. You're not betraying anyone & you should write whatever it is you want to write. I followed you for jojo & I'm not familiar with the other fandoms that you write for, but personally it makes me SO happy to see you enjoying new things! It's always good to find joy wherever you can, so keep writing what you're interested in. There a lot of ppl who want to see you happy and healthy <3

honestly the idea of it being a GRAND BETRAYAL is so funny, i am just writing anime fanfic here and thriving!!! tysm anon! <3

Anonymous asked: Those anons can piss off! They have no right to judge how long or how short your writing is. If they want longer content write it their damn selves. I think your writing has improved wonderfully and I originally followed for Jojo and I'm enjoying all the content period. I don't even watch jujutsu ( not my cup of tea personally) but I love seeing the creativity and the interactions. You write what makes you happy Nat and that's on that! You don't owe anybody anything! I know how hard writing is and when your consuming new content it's hard to make content for something else. That doesn't mean you don't like it any more your just doing something different for a while. Love you and your content and I'm enjoying the love your putting into your content whether long or short. ♥♥💕 Sending love your way!

honestly my idea of ‘short content’ is still over 1k words, i’m not good at reeling myself in! i guess it’s bc they see like, 1.5k jojo fic versus 5k jjk fic but it’s not that i didn’t enjoy the first fic, just that the point and the story came a lot quicker and so did the natural end! thank you anon, i appreciate you ;_;

Anonymous asked: Hello! Just wanted to let your know that I think your writing is awesome, and that you should write for whoever and for whatever you want to! You dont have to stay loyal to one fandom or anything, and your followers shouldn't expect that from you! It's not like they are paying you to write, you are doing this for free, and because you enjoy it and it makes you happy! If they dont like your stuff, they dont have to follow you, they can go to other blogs that cater to their taste, and they definitely don't need to be sending you such hurtful comments, and they dont get to make you feel sad about your writing! Just because they followed you during your earlier stages of writing, doesn't mean you owe them some type of loyalty or compensation! You can write literally whatever you want as long as it makes you happy! That's what your hobby and your blog are for! I hope you know that alot of your followers love your work and think that you are an amazing writer and are down to support the work that makes you happiest! 💖💖

ahh thank you so much anon!!! i am always so bowled over by how many people are nice to me when something like this happens, i am sending you my love <3

Anonymous asked: don’t listen to them!! we love you as a writer no matter what you write, because you’re a good person and a talented writer!! you shouldn’t have to change what you write to please a bitter person, and if they only want jjba, they can go to another blog instead of bringing you down. you’re doing amazing and they should be thankful you grace us with your talents!!

to be totally honest, if i was half-assing or not vibing with content i was making i just. wouldn’t post it. like you’d be able to TELL when i was half-assing stuff just to get words out (source: i have re-read my own nanowrimo works). there are lots of great jjba blogs who could do with more followers n interaction!!! i hope they do find them and i hope they’re nice to them :(.

Anonymous asked: Please don’t pay attention to that anon. People only have that confidence when they have anon turned on. Them looking through your blog despite feeling that way is peak fan behavior and speaks to how addicting your writing is. Naturally, you can’t please everyone and there will be people who are irrational and feel entitled to tell you what to do or what to write no matter what. Trust me when I say they’re a small minority and are more likely probably passing viewers rather than regulars. I check your blog about three or more times a day because I love reading not just your fics but also your takes, banter with other anons, or even random updates. Brainrot posts? LOVE TO SEE IT!!! Desk update? AMAZING!!! With that being said, don’t feel pressured to continue pushing out content for others. Write what makes you happy! You’ve been writing for JJBA for 4 years and it’s completely normal + healthy to get into new media. I’m not sure if it would mean much, but your love for JJK has gotten me excited to start it too!!

anon i really hope you enjoy it!!! sometimes these anons remember stuff i’ve posted and said better than i do tbh, i am living in their heads rent free i guess!

Anonymous asked: I've been following you for a couple of years and honestly it would always be a joy to see when you posted. Your writing has improved and I'm very happy you're enjoying yourself ! I know it hurts hearing and seeing stuff like that but I'm happy you're here. I'm honestly blessed everytime you post. Your writing is phenomenal. I love reading it even if its characters that I dont care for. You capture their essences so well and weave an amazing tale within the prompts and whatnot. You're amazing nat!

wehh thank you so much!!! re: the improvement, i really don’t feel like it has and then i re-read something i wrote when i first started and i’m like oh my god maybe it has. did i really write about jotaro acting like that.

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat. I recently became a follower of yours and I'm really saddened to see you get hate. You seem like a genuinely sweet person with amazing talent! I'm a writer myself and, unfortunately, get the same kind of comments. And when you get those comments, it doesn't leave you feeling motivated. People need to understand that people can and will, at times, grow out of fandoms. (1 Not just that but you're doing all of this for free. Again, I'm sorry you got such a comment. But please know that I'm proud of how far you've come. I'm proud that you're living a life that makes you happy. And no matter what fandom you may find yourself in next, I will always enjoy your writing. Take care of yourself. (2 end

HELLO NEW FOLLOWER I LOVE YOU (i get a lot more a day now than i used to and i feel guilty about not being able to look through so many blogs but i do try and follow back other writers for my fandoms!! ;_;). i’m sorry you get the same kind of comments! i’m always just happy to see people i like enjoying new things, even if i have no interest in it (hello to all of my mutuals who write for hunter x hunter and haikyuu, not interested but i’m sure you’re having a great time and i support you!!!).

Anonymous asked: I'm sure you're getting a barrage of supportive messages now (at least I hope so) but I figured I'd add my voice, because I'm a longtime follower. Your writing is, and always has been, wonderful. I've been so happy to see you and Haz get to a place that works for you both. Idk if it's obvious for everyone, but you seem like you're emotionally in a pretty good place most of the time these days, and it makes me really happy to see that. I followed years ago for JJBA content, but I stayed because regardless of what content you put out, I find your wit delightful. And I'll stick around even if you move fandoms entirely, because whatever content or editorializing you produce is going to be worth reading, regardless of what it's for.

ahh, anon!! thank you for sticking around so long, sorry if you’re old enough to have been around the vore and jorts and spider rohan fiascos! <3 i am definitely a lot more stable than i have been and - barring the Pandemic Related Mental Health Issues - happier! i’m glad that it’s noticeable! <3

Anonymous asked: It actually makes me mad how entitled some people are. Nat, you're not a content creating machine and those who expect you to be are not worth wasting a thought on. Your love for something is not measured in word counts and for you to write every day without getting burned out in the slightest you really must have a burning passion and huge dedication to your craft. If others decide to send hate then allow me to send admiration because I can feel your love and hard work in each post you make!

i try and write every day bc it’s super good for my little ocd/autistic brain to have routines and distract itself, so i’m glad other people can enjoy them because that makes me motivated to carry on! like, i write for myself mostly bc the content i want i sometimes get find, but filling requests and writing for other people also leaves me with happy warm fuzzies too! i appreciate you!! <3

Anonymous asked: If people only care about your writing for the jojo porn that’s on THEM, not you. Your writing was amazing when I followed about a year ago, and it’s only gotten better and will continue to get better! I think it really comes through when you enjoy what you’re writing and it adds a whole other layer of worth to it, because not only are you making free content but you LIKE that content and we can all gush about it together!!! More than just fans, I think you’ve created a community here and we don’t just stick around to read smut, I promise you that. -Reronon

i do miss having a discord community bc it was nice to talk to everyone in real time but it was hard work, i am glad that people feel like they can just come into my askbox and gush! i’m not very friendly in real life and people tend to think i am cold and stuck up so i work very hard to try and seem friendly and approachable online, which is much easier for me because i get to think and re-draft before i type! <3

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I’m sure you’re getting a lot of messages like this right now but I just wanted to say for what it’s worth that, as a person who originally followed you for jjba content and hasn’t watched/read any of the other series you’re currently writing for, I’m honestly still along for the ride. This is your blog and you’re allowed to do what you want with it and put out what content you feel like writing. Sometimes??? People acquire new interests??????? Shocking! I know absolutely nothing about jjk or bnha but out of curiosity still read some of your posts about them and even though I might not Get It, I still enjoy them because I think you’re a very talented writer! Honestly, as long as you’re still writing, I’m still down to clown, and whenever you take breaks (which are important!) I’ll still be waiting for your return or supporting and respecting your decision to stay away longer. Don’t let the entitled assholes get you down. Utilize YOUR blog and YOUR space however YOU choose. Your talent and kindness speak for themselves. Love you!!! ❤️❤️❤️

anon i care about you and i am so appreciative of you and everyone for sending me such nice messages! i am running out of ways to say it but it’s true, it really does mean a lot to me ;_; <3

#nat.txt

13 notes · View notes

shhhlikeme · 4 years ago

Text

“Losty Aone” / “Losty Mountain Man🏔” Series:

Outtake Collection #17: (NSFW)

———————————

A/N: taglist, I did not post one with the last marathon so check if you missed collections 13-15 |

I had a lot of difficulty posting this so if it seems unfinished and you don’t see the taglist please let me know!

Also, MATURE CONTENT BELOW! NSFW!

TABLE OF CONTENTS

———————————

Poor Aone………………………………………’s sexual composure. 🥵🤯🤸‍♂️

That following Friday, In the calm Date Tech Hallway….

Like a hurricane, Kenji and a kanji ran over to Aone-san out of breath.

“Aone!!!”

Used to his best friends being storms at home and at school, he turned to them at his locker. “Yes? Are you two okay?”

Kenji made a dismissive gesture with his hand. “—Just dandy. We’re fine. But you’re not. Or, you won’t be. You’re supposed to help Y/N with her tryout video today right??!!!”

Aone’s heart picked up speed, thinking about being alone with you again. He nodded. “Yes. Why? Is she alright?”

“Cancel it.”

Beside Kenji, Kanji bounced on his own two feet, repeating the brunette with wide eyes. “Cancel it, cancel it, cancel it!”

Aone looked confused. His best friends knew how much this plan meant to him, which included getting closer to you as a step, so he didn’t understand. Besides, they’d just spoken about it this morning and everything was fine.

“I don’t understand…” Takanobu tilted his head to the side curiously.

Kenji huffed. “Just trust us!!”

“Give me your phone Aone-senpai, I’ll call Y/N and cancel for you!!!” Kogane shouted, bustling in between the two of them to search Aone’s open locker…… for his phone, no doubt.

Aone stepped to the side so that the setter could search his locker, knowing his phone was in his pocket. “Kogane-san, please calm down. Is anyone hurt or injured?”

His friends looked frazzled as hell.

“No one is fucking hurt, you big giant. Just trust us when we say you need to cancel helping her film her stupid thing. Tell her to get a camera stand or pay one of the film geeks or something—“

“No.” Aone growled unintentionally. He didn’t mean to, he just really disliked the idea of another guy spending hours with the love of his life. Hewanted to help her. Aone removed the venom from his next words. “I want to see her, Futakuchi-san. You know that. What has gotten into you two—“

Kenji pinched the bridge of his nose, interrupting. “—Kusa said..... that apparently, Y/N’s cheer uniform had an issue with the order. The University—our University— sent her a uniform that’s a size or two too small. But she still has to submit her freaking audition in it and then they’ll apparently send her a new one, so—“

“I’ve seen Y/N in a cheerleading uniform before.” Aone stated calmly, feeling better now that he knows you weren’t involved in some incident or something. “You both really expect me to cancel on Y/N because of that?” Ridiculous, Aone wanted to add, but he didn’t. He tried his best to ignore, however, the way he felt a small stir in his lower belly because he recalled seeing you in the normal Date Teko cheer uniform. Not only is that cheer uniform what you were wearing the first time he ever laid eyes on you, but every male in this school—including the Mountain Man—thought you looked unbelievably hot in it.

Before you noticed him, Aone almost ran into a pole once because he specifically saw you stretching in uniform outdoors with your team. Kenji pulled him from the pole’s path in the knick of time.

Another time, When you were dating, Aone had gotten a huge boner after school just because he had received a text from him asking if your bra was showing through your white cheer top, with an attached photo of your chest. It was, in fact, transparent and Aone couldn’t think straight for the rest of his own practice. Coach was really mad at him that day….

Anyway, the point is that Aone has seen you in your attractive cheer uniform plenty of times. Perhaps his friends forgot?

“Aone-san, we can tell her that you’re sick, or that there is a family emergency or something, come—“ Kenji grabbed his best friend’s arm, steering him toward the exit. Aone let his friend turn him so that he does’t over exert himself like he usually did when he tried to move the all-muscle man, but he stopped just before they blocked the exit.

‘Aone! TRUST ME. You cannot handle—“

“—I can and I will. Kenji. Please let me g—“

Just then, you entered through the exit doors a few feet away that Kenji was about to lead you out of, cutting Takanobu off and immediately heading his way.

“Oh, hey, Aone! There you are!”

Aone:

Aone Takanobu can truly say—if he could speak—that he will never even question Futakuchi again.

Kenji whistled under his breath when he saw you too. “Too late.” he muttered, folding his arms and a blush setting in. “See you at home.!” The brunette yelled as he grabbed Kanji, who was still searching the white haired’s locker—with one hand, using his other to plug his nose because was trickling a bit of blood.

Upon seeing you, Aone felt as if all of the air in his lungs had been shaken out of his body like a damn salt shaker. He had to physically rub his eyes to make sure they were functioning correctly, and after he did that and you were still walking towards him, Aone pinched his own forearm, hard.

Still, you were walking toward him.

Fuck. This is real then.

Holy mother of God, Aone thought in a panic. This isn’t a wet dream?! It can’t be. He’s never seen that uniform on you before.

You stopped in front of Aone, ignoring the handful of boys that were drooling over you in your potential new post secondary school uniform.

“Ugh. I said medium, not extra small. If I didn’t need a scholarship to make up for my grades, I wouldn’t go to this damn school. Just for this.” You grumbled, walking right past Aone to his locker that was left wide open. Without thinking, you reached inside and collected his huge Date Tech Volleyball jacket, swinging it over your shoulder and zipping it up. Aone had so many of these, and you loved them. You could practically hear the collective disappointed-male groan when you covered yourself completely. It reached the bottom of your kneecaps.

When your eyes fluttered closed in pleasure because you were wrapped up in the most incredible warmth and scent in the world—Aone’s—you realized you had basically just performed theft, you looked down at your white cheer shoes sheepishly. “Oh my gosh. Sorry, Aone. Habit, I guess.” You apologized, too nervous to look up at him. Horny Mountain Man was in no position to respond coherently anyway, even if he didn’t want you wearing his stuff.

Which, for the record, always makes me happy as fuck.

Water. He thought. Water is what always helps in times like this.

“Please, second.” Aone blurted, turning quickly to speed walk down the hallway to the nearest water fountain. It was tucked away in a corner to where he was hidden, so Aone alternated between taking big, big, very big gulps and splashing water on his face. Repeat.

You were wearing a form-fitting yellow cheer uniform. It said Pirates across the chest that it squeezed, exposed your entire stomach, and then yellow met your waist again in a really short pleated skirt (skort) that was barely covering your ass. Just seeing you in it for two seconds before you put on his jacket alone made Aone store that visual in his spank bank for tonight. Uh, for tonight x3.......or tonight x4........and then tomorrow morning, ……because the way that uniform fit you made him fantasize about doing every position in it….... ugh, Aone splashed more water on his face again.

Back at Aone’s locker alone, You were so embarrassed in this uniform. You look like an absolute fool in a uniform so tiny, what the fuck?

Hearing a group of hurried footsteps coming from your left, from your two places you both turned to see a group of the biggest fuckboys in the school turning down this hall, searching for what Aone just knew was you with expectant expressions, positively gutted when they saw a giant jacket on you.

You narrowed your eyes at the group in a glare, giving them a sickeningly sweet smile. “Hi, Fuck off 😊🖕.”

“Heya to you too, Y/N.” Said the guy you briefly gave a chance to before you met a real man like Aone. The baseball player. He had such a disgusting grin on his face, as if he was looking to bring you home or something. As if.

Seemingly correct in deciphering what his look means, You had to hold down your lunch when he said, “Good luck with your online tryouts today. Care to show us that new uniform of yours?” He wiggled his eyebrows at you.

“Nope, thanks. I just want to send my audition tape and solidify my future never seeing your ass again.” You snapped back.

“Ouch, Y/N. We just heard it’s tryouts for the cheer squad today, and wanted to give all you ladies our sincerest thanks for being what awoke our hormones in first year. Is that so bad?”

“Gross. You’re disgusting.”

“And you’re newly single, right? C’mon, I’m leaving the country after graduation for baseball. Consider it a parting gift,” The baseball player licked his lips and took one tiny step toward you. “I can stretch it out for you,”

Takanobu—who was frozen in horny-for-Y/N-mode by the water fountain—was snapped out of it as soon as a threatening movement was made toward you.

Aone understands very well that this was not a good position for any female to be in, but especially not the most important female in his life.

Immediately, he was in front of you, completely shielding you from the other boys behind his broad, muscular body.

Not knowing how the fuck this giant man can move that fast again, you couldnt help the breath of relief that left you, knowing you didn’t have to fight this battle anymore. Your knight has arrived. Your ex-knight. ☹️

“I’m sure you all have something else to do this afternoon.” Aone stated, trying to be as civil as possible.

The baseball player threw his head back and laughed. “I definitely do…..but she’s just a regular student, not a cheerleader…… so it can wait. Oh, and—totally forgot to welcome you to the dumped-by-a-hot-cheerleader club—we’re all in it.” The baseball player gestured toward the group of boys he was in and they all laughed.

Aone felt his heart break a bit, but his anger didn’t allow him to falter. Girlfriend or not, these boys didn’t respect the love of his life or any female in this school, and it was obvious. Nothing made him more upset.

“Come on bro, tell her to take off the jacket, we all wanna see her new uniform—“ the creep tried taking a step around Aone to get to you, so Aone stepped forward blocking that path, pulling you behind him again.

“Take one more step toward her.” Aone growled in the smoothest voice. You couldn’t see it, but from experience with creeps trying to hit on you when you were together, you could tell Aone had his absolutely terrifying expression on and fit didn’t even mean to. The biggest teddy bear... that turned into your tough grizzly without the tiniest bit of hesitation if it meant protecting you.

“I dare you.” Aone added, for good measure.

Needless to say, like always, the group of creepos saw how serious this giant could be, and then scurried away faster than they came.

It turns out they’re not a fan of Aone’s dares.

You resisted every nerve in your body from acting on your instincts and grabbing Takanobu and kissing him as thanks for protecting you. Fuck, you just fell deeper in love with the man and if we are being g honest, hearing him become so respectfully protective like that, not only made your heart clench but your pussy clench as well.

Aone turned to you and bowed in apology for speaking for you.

You waved him off and thanked him wising words as you physically pressed your thighs together to keep yourself from throwing yourself on your ex and begging him to fuck your brains out like you wanted him to. Like he always did. Truth be told, you are so turned on.

Needing fresh air, right the fuck now—you grabbed Aone’s arm and he allowed you to pull him outside to the empty football field since school was over.

You found a small corner where you’d be hidden from prying eyes and it was a flat enough green surface for jumps and tumbling passes, so you liked it. you asked your beautiful Ex if it was fine to set up here for the audition. Daylight hit the area perfectly.

Takanobu nodded, but then a slight blush fell over his face and you didn’t follow exactly why that was. “What is it?” You ask, using your hand as a visor.

“Ummm,… this spot is fine Y/N. But I just realized that I forgot my flash in the photography studio.”

You shrugged. “Oh! That’s it? Okay, that’s fine. I can just wait here and start stretching.”

Aone’s pale cheeks darkened even more. You tried not to swoon. Oh my gosh he looked cute! But you still didn’t get why forgetting his flash made him so shy.

“Aone, what is it? Is there something wrong?”

Takanobu looked away, willing himself to speak with conviction. “No, I apologize again. It’s just….” He willed himself to meet your eyes, because that’s what his plan told him to do. “Do you mind accompanying me? Uh, to retrieve the flash? I can carry everything, that’s not a problem, but— I just don’t feel comfortable leaving you out here alone just in case that group comes back and I’m not around.”

You inside:

You sucked in a breath, trying so so sooo fucking hard not to shout how much you loved this man! If you were still dating, you would tackle him and showering his face with kisses right now, then probably tug him somewhere so you could drop to your knees and suck the soul out of his dick—that’s how much you loved him.

“Oh, that’s so sweet.” You nodded, pressing your thighs together as you walked his side, in his jacket.

***

2 hours later, Aone is almost done filming your tryout tape.

In the beginning, He managed to distract himself on his phone while you stretched, only stealing glances at you when you were in your splits (at which time Aone accidentally bit his tongue).

Then the middle section of filming wasn’t sooo bad, you had to tell the camera about yourself—in which Aone thought you looked so pretty and thought you didn’t list enough of your good qualities, but he wouldn’t interject to tell you that— he filmed you doing a few technical jumps, some sideline hand-only cheers that you yelled out, and a few tumbling passes, which Aone was able to handle if he was thinking about dead squirrels like Futakuchi taught him. But that was as far as the dead squirrel strategy went for him. It had served its purpose and now Aone was running out of steam, because you had just completed the flyer positions section: where you had to contort your amazing body in flexible positions that literally made his urges to fuck you hard come back, God damnit…

Even though that was tough, Takanobu had a plan to follow and it included being able to spend time with you like this, so he had to put on a brave face and endure it. He was so proud of himself so far—even if he had to overheat in the volleyball sweater he had to put on to hide his protruding cock. It was sunny, not hot, which is good. And it did a great job hiding his crotch, so he wouldn’t dare take it off.

But truth be told, a part of Aone Takanobu felt absolutely foolish for not taking his friend’s offer earlier and cancelling on you. If seeing a cheerleading uniform on you in the past almost made him walk into a pole, I don’t think anyone could imagine how seeing you in a much sexier, college cheerleader uniform that is 2 sizes too small makes him feel now. Fuck.

During the final portion of your tryout video, you had to showcase the choreography they taught you, and well, Aone was…………. He was……………

He was……………………

A/N: Imma try to just come out and say it.

During your dance segment…………………

You are of course, wearing that tiny new uniform, and Mountain Man is so fucking in love and horny for you, and you were also horny so you were unintentionally giving him bedroom eyes, and your dance for the tryout was semi provocative, and you are so flexible and bendy, slightly sweaty from over exertion, and did Aone mention that you are wearing that tiny uniform????

Yeah, this white haired beauty was going to cum untouched.

Why? How? Well:

“So, Aone, for this part, I need you to tell me how I’m doing, Okay? I know you don’t know cheer very well but just in this dance section if I look sloppy or Im going too fast, I’d appreciate the feedback since my future relies on this. Is that Okay?”

The white haired beauty grunted in agreement, the sound actually hurting his throat because it was so dry.

You smiled at him sweetly.

You looked so fucking cute, LostyAone.exe stopped working.

“I need you to make sure the camera is getting my entire body, Okay? So that the judges can judge my footwork too. Can you pan down to make sure you’re comfortable with the movement?

Using the camera, Aone panned down liked you asked and nearly died. He was glad his eyes were hidden behind the camera because they just about fell the fuck out when he caught a really good glimpse of your delectable ass under your cheer skirt. Inside his brain, dozens of little control-panel Aone’s erupted in chaos, running around his brain with towels trying to blow out the raging inferno in there.

SHE IS SO FUCKING SEXY, His mind yelled at him, as if he needed any more of a reminder. TOO SEXY, it repeated, and Aone’s dick twitched angrily in his pants.

DEAD SQUIRRELS. DEAD SQUIRRELS. DEAD—OH, SHE’S SMILING AT US.

Takanobu briefly thought about the fact that this footage was only going to be seen by your prospective cheer captains, coaches, and himself— but he couldn’t help but wonder how he was going to edit all of this together in the time frame he promised he would with only one hand. The incessant desire he had to pump his cock to the look of you in that tiny uniform was practically all-consuming. So when he has to stare at constant footage of you alone in his room this weekend, well............. he’d probably need to take more breaks than he’s willing to admit. He needed this to end, and quick.

“So there is one move, Aone, that I need you to make sure that part gets a tiny close-up of. It’s this part where I flip why hair like this, then I have to run my hands from my neck dowwwwwwwn my body slowly and back up to do a mini chest pump… but that move I am switching it to a mini chest squeeze…, because the coach said she wants her team this year to have a lot of sex appeal and the ability to make the dances their own, so I thought I’d add that to show her I have what she’s looking for. What do you think?”

Wait, Sex appeal? Chest squeeze? As in, squeeze your breasts?! Like how? And Did Y/N just insinuate that she needs more sex appeal ? More than she already…….………..huh🥵? Aone gulped in disbelief. If you had any more sex appeal, Y/N……….. he wanted to tell you. I’d be an absolute dead man. He already was.

You took Mountain Man’s silence as confusion. “Do you not get what I’m saying? Here, I’m thinking something like this.”

And then, if things weren’t bad enough, you showed this poor poor hanging-on-by-a-single-thread-of-composure Aone—the move that you’re referring to in slow motion so that he could recognize it in the dance:

Takanobu was going to lose his mind. Inside, he was all:

And he couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that he has what you just did on film.

Aone’s dick throbbed relentlessly in his uniform pants, practically having a pounding heart attack of its own. Luckily, it was hidden under his jacket, telling him loud and clear that this was all he could handle from under there.

“Umm,” Aone started shakily, turning his back to you and scanning the field. He thanked the heavens because he saw the girls entire soccer team starting practice really close to where they were filming, so if anything were to happen and those boys came back to bother you, you could just walk right over to the big group and the coaches. He wouldn’t be gone long anyway.

Not with how worked up he was.

Not even remembering what excuse he made because all of his brain blood resided in his cock right now, whether he said he needed to go to the bathroom or fucking Pluto he doesn’t know—but he finds comfort in the fact that whatever he said, you responded unsuspectingly, saying,

“Oh Okay, sure! I needed a break anyway!” you plopped down on the grass in fatigue.

Good.

Everything in Aone’s mind was a blur until he was inside one of the stalls in the empty boys volleyball locker room, his right hand down his pants before he could even think to unbutton or pull down a zipper, stroking his needy length.

“Ohhhh my God,” Aone sighed, using the immense amount of pre cum on his dick as lubrication. His dick was twitching in his palm as he stroked.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck,” chanted the middle blocker who does NOT use profanity regularly, shutting his eyes as tight as they could go. Immediately, images of you met the inside of his dark lids, especially this image: over and over and over.

So horny he wasnt even thinking clearly, Mountain Man immediately reached for his camera hanging on a necklace around his neck with one large hand. He immediately scrolled to the dance footage and moaned when your beautiful face and figure met the screen. He stroked himself through the dance you just did that wasn’t even the official dance yet, lidded eyes staring at your pretty face and amazing body in that fucking uniform. A hand job has never felt so knee-buckling.

He replayed the footage.

She’s so hot. Stroke harder. Rewind. Replay. She’s so fucking hot. Stroke faster. Rewind. Replay. She’s so UNBELIEVABLY fucking hottttttttttt. Fuck my hand. Replay, replay, replay.

Within 50 seconds of starting, Aone was releasing so hard into his hand that he was grateful the camera was around his neck because the force of his orgasm made it slip out of this hand.

Breathing heavily as if he had just run a fucking marathon, it was only one more minute later that Aone felt himself hardening again, thinking of you and needing another release. Home. His dick chanted. He needed to go home. Takanobu was so horny for you that he guiltily fantasized about taking the bra you left at his house all that time ago out so that he could paint it white and possibly fuck it, but he somehow thought that was disrespectful and felt a little ashamed for thinking of you so inappropriately while looking at your footage, so he decided not to do that again. Mountain Man cleaned up with a napkin, but didn’t move to leave just yet. He knew himself better than that, so he wrapped his hand around his pre cum lubed cock again, just waiting.

He loved you for so much more than just your physical appearance—Aone knew that—but sometimes how hot you were put him through a loop. Clearly, considering he’d just jerked himself off in his locker room in 55 seconds and was ready to do it again. Unbelievable. You are breathtakingly beautiful.

I can’t believe Y/N….. gave me a chance— What could the most beautiful woman in the world have seen in me? What am I doing trying to get her back, have I SEEN HER? As Aone was greeted with his self-deprecating thoughts again, he thought about your gorgeous face. This made Takanobu began thrusting up into his wet hand impatiently.

She’s so caring. And so loving. And such a force to be reckoned with, God I want to put a ring on her finger and cherish her forever.

Even his self deprecating thoughts couldn’t take him out of how far gone he already was, he almost forgot that he actually had to take off his pants unless he wanted to ruin them completely and chance you seeing him walk back out with a giant cum stain.

With an upsetting growl because his pleasure had to wait a millisecond, Aone roughly unbuttoned, unzipped, and shoved down his pants and boxers, moving so that when he came it would aim where he wanted it to down the toilet. His hand found his aching cock again and he resumed pumping, Aone squeezing at the base and tip and fucking his own fist. He felt just as worked up as the time you relentlessly teased him while studying, but this time you hadn’t even touched him once. He couldn’t believe it.

But then, well, he remembered it was you, so he could.

He loved you for years without you even knowing his name, so logically he knows that seeing you bend and bounce and do the splits in a small cheerleading uniform can easily make him cum in his pants unprovoked.

I want to make love to her soooo badly, Aone thought, feeling a little guilty for thinking of his ex so lewdly. I’d stick my cock so deep inside her unmatched pussy and hear her moan my name so loud until she was having one of her hard shuddering orgasms around me that Aone always managed to give that made his thrusts stutter, fuck fuck fuck. Aone thought about moving those tiny shorts that are connected to your skirt aside and pounding into your tight hole, pinching your nipples and sucking a hickey on your sweet skin. Ugh, he was practically pounding into his first now. It almost hurt, but hurt in a good way. He needed this. There is absolutely no better feeling in the world than being inside you, so he tried to remember it and pretend that’s what he was doing to the best of his ability to throw himself over the edge faster. It worked. His entire body trembled.

Aone bit his juicy bottom lip, actively keeping growls in his chest because he felt so carnal. He wanted you soooooooooo bad, and if you two were still together right now and you verbally agreed, thrice—you’d be in this stall with him, your legs wrapped around his waist as he,— oh god, just the mere flash-thought of you in here with him made Aone thrust into his hand even harder, thinking about your perfect ass under that small yellow skirt, how perfect your tits would look when you freed them out from under that constricting small cheer top (but kept the skirt on), and he thought about how wrecked you’d look because you both knew such a big guy like Aone would need at least three or four rounds until he was sated and you were always so fucking willing for him—

Aone let out a growl he’d been holding in as he immersed himself in the dreams, thinking about how fuck-hot you are when you dance, how amazing your breath sounds when its short and calling his name, the look of that chest squeeze and peek-a-boo’s you practically killed him with out there—and not before long Mountain Man was subject to an array of pleasure zaps shooting from his groin up his spine, making Aone close his mouth and let out a pretty loud “MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM..” As he shot cum after cum, spritz after spritz, into the toilet. His second orgasm was so intense that he needed to grab the top of the stall wall next to him with his clean hand to keep himself upright, because his knees were shaking.

Trying to catch his breath and calm down, Aone stayed in the bathroom for a few minutes until his heart beat regulated somewhat. Even though it felt like forever, it had only been maybe 5 minutes since he’d left you on the field chilling. Not enough time for you to even believe that he was pleasuring himself. It couldn’t have been enough time.

Takanobu cleaned up in a hurry—washing his hands four times before returning to you, feeling a little bit lighter—but not enough to say he is satisfied. Considering the fact that he didn’t have sex, Mountain Man would need a few more rounds with his hand to be satisfied. Mountain Man is a big guy and even though he is the kindest person on earth and thinks about buying you flowers and holding your hand, when he’s horny he needs a lot to satiate that hunger.

***

Aone returned to you only 6 minutes after he left, and right away you made his dick semi-hard again, looking so beautiful when you accepted his apology.

“Don’t worry about it, Aone. If I haven’t said it enough.... I really appreciate your help. Is there anything I can do to repay you?”

Takanobu bit back a groan because yes, there was a lot you could do to repay him. Starting with giving him one more chance..... but he couldn’t ask that of you. In any case, he knew what the answer would be right now.

“No, I’d like nothing in return. I am glad I could help a friend, Y/N.” he offered you a slight smile that made you feel all fuzzy inside.

You wanted to melt, he is so sweet, even after you shattered his heart. Your heart was swelling and you couldn’t wait to leave him, just so that you could go home to cry your eyes out for the man you let go of.

“We should finish. It’s getting late.” You collected your emotions and shook out your limbs to prepare yourself for the last section of your tryout video.

***

You performed the dance section even sexier than Aone could’ve imagined, and it made Mountain Man absolute putty. Due to the events that took place in the locker room not too long ago, Aone was able to get past his horny mind numb to recognize that his heart was exploding for you—for other reasons. His heart was bursting due to pride.

He was so proud of you.

You weren’t his girlfriend anymore, but you were still an absolute inspiration to him in that you always chased your dreams. Here he was, giving up volleyball, and here you are—killing your own audition in an uncomfortable costume. Wow. Aone would be sure to edit the most amazing tryout video for you to the best of his ability so that the team would be absolute fools not to give you a scholarship. If you didn’t get it, he’d find some weird way of secretly paying for your schooling anyway, if it came down to it. He loved you that much. But he just knew you’d make it.

When the last take was filmed and all was said and done, Aone was both positively enamoured and positively hard, of course. You looked beyond sexy and flushed, and when he gave you his water and you drank it, some droplet missed your mouth, skidding down your cheek and disappearing into your cleavage. Mountain Man just about needed to run back to the bathroom at that point, but it was time to go home anyway.

You changed and Kusa picked you up, waving to Aone and thanking him with a hug before leaving.

Aone sat in his car for 5 minutes once you left, his eyes closed and his head resting on the headrest, just trying to figure out how he would live with these feelings. He didn’t know if he could. A million questions jumped to the forefront of his mind:

How could someone be so beautiful, so perfect in every way to him?

What did you even see in him the first time?

Is it even worth it to try again?

What happens if his plan fails?

What would he do?

And, because his dick wanted to throw in a question as well: How fucking amazing did you look today?

Is it even possible to be this attracted to someone? Fuck.

Aone’s dick twitched in his pants as thoughts of your pretty smile while you cheered tonight filled his mind, alerting him once more that he has suffered through enough for a lifetime and he needs release again.

Aone raced home after that, unable to get your brilliant laugh and your perfect ass in that skirt out of his mind the entire time.

He’s a mess.

An aroused, lovesick, unmistakably heartbroken mess.

———————————

Taglist: @galagcica @chaichai-the-weeb @nairobiisqueen @bisasterrr @juminly @simply-not-the-same @marvelousbakugou @qyuanon

Outtake #18: CLICK HERE!

#aone takanobu x you #aone takanobu stories #aone takanobu fluff #haikyuu angst #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu boys #haikyuu!!#hq headcanon #aone x reader #aone x y/n #haikyuu headcanons #hq headcannons #haikyuu headcannons #koganegawa kanji #kenji futakuchi #haikyuuwritersnet

63 notes · View notes

neo-shitty · 3 years ago

Note

toffee!

no dearest, dont worry, ive been super busy with exams and auditions so i couldnt reply to this, super sorry ;n; but im here now so here we go!

mmm same, tasteful smut is preferable, tho rare. oh no! pls dont feel pressured to follow me on anything, i post very sporadically on that acc so you probably wont see much yet haha

hehe sometimes it just be like that. mmm real life isnt happy, so it makes sense that angst is more realistic, plus people are shitty /hj so its easier to have smth to base the characters and action off. but if angst is what you feel comfortable with, im glad you found it and you can write it so well!

yes i totally agree! they just suck you in, there is no escape. mmm indeed. i guess i just (and im sure you feel the same way) wish that they would be able to stick to what they are good at, and what they enjoy, rather than what will make them the most money and recognition

hehe i dont mind! im here if you wanna rant abt the amazingness that is he, i know the feeling of almost bursting from having to talk abt smth and not being able to :) yesss hes just so comfortable and familar even tho obviously we dont and can never truly know him. hes just like a good good friend. (albeit one whos abs we rave abt). :( ohh im sorry you were in a bad place, but its good that you were able to find something to help, im sure channie would be very happy to know he helped someone :) hehe i find myself listening for him in all their tracks, its a bit like felix in that its quite distinctive and very satisfying haha. YES seonghwa is just *wordless mouthing of amazement* mmm, its going to be super hard for them to top that, fever and drunk dazed were *chefs kiss* but hopefully theyll be better soon, ive been so worried abt all of them, with the whole covid thingo, especially nikki, hes only 15 and hes rlly sick away from his parents and his home :(( poor thing. man sunoo's immune system of absolute titanium, hopefully the rest of the boys are feeling better :(

yes i KNOW right. :((( huh i guess its strange cos i cant wait to get out of high school and ur wishing you could go back :') ahh that must be strange

oooh cool! ahuh yes, im sensing a type lol. ooh fellow jake, hyuka and lisa bias! for me, nikki and jennie are bias wreckers and im not super into txt but yES i agree, he always looks impeccable. i see what you mean with jake! hes got this kinda awkward charm from what little ive seen of him. mmm well... as a chan, seonghwa and namjoon bias, i can sympathise with having a definite postion type

no darling! they wouldnt be wasted at ALL. yes, you must tell me if you are ever going to leave here :((

but on brighter topics, i finished all my midterms and had my first therapy session this week so thats good! how are you feeling today? anything else you want to discuss? hope you're doing well :)

<3 w.a. 🐺

yoooo i was starting to worry about where you were but i remembered that you talked about exams. it's alright! take your time. also auditions o.O good luck with that!!

oh don't half joke people are shitty. they really are. funny how we talk about how we're talking about how angst is my element but i just finished writing a fluffy chan fic.

yeah :( i also hope that the money making thing wouldn't be their top priority but it's still a business industry so i get why the marketing is done that way.

i rambled to an irl about chan today so idt my head would explode from keeping chan chitchat in. chan is as safe space as an idol can get for me. i want to thank him for quite literally saving me in 2020 someday. it's the first thing i'll mention if i get to have a fancall with him.

i'm currently waiting for ateez comeback! i'm hoping deja vu won't disappoint bc the song isn't bad at all o.O it takes me back to my 2nd gen roots even. abt enhypen i heard 2 are back and posting? idt they got the worst of the symptoms + they're young and i'm sure their immune systems aren't too weak.

LMAO. it's because high school was a lot easier than uni so if i were to choose from the two evils, i'd choose the lesser one.

abt my biases? really? o.O bc i've always been told that i don't have a clear bias HAJHA. i'm glad we have a few similar biases <33 the definite position type HAJH you and my friends have the same thing going on. she's all for rappers tho.

i'll tell you if i ever choose to leave. i doubt it would be any time soon xd

congratulations on finishing all your midterms and i'm glad you got to go to your therapy session. how was it? i hope you're doing well. go and take care of yourself! reward yourself a little for finishing the exams :>

my feet and legs are sore as fuck. i've been dancing the whole day and i haven't been exercising a lot so a day full of just moving around kinda shocked me. i'll be sleeping in a few though so i hope i feel better in the morning.

#toff.asks #wild anon 🐺

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strangerthingsharrington · 4 years ago

Text

Can’t Fight This Feeling

-12-

Once everyone came down from the shock of everything we started talking. Trying to think of something, anything, to get us out of the position we were in.

But..it was almost midnight and Dustin and Erica started showing their exhaustion. Erica fell asleep first with Dustin going about ten minutes later. Robin pushed through a little longer but she fell asleep leaning against one of the walls.

I was past the point of exhaustion and had new energy. I sighed and leaned against some of the boxes, trying in vain to relax.

A few feet away sat Steve, running a hand through his hair.

"Well?" I asked him.

He looked back at me questioningly, "Well?" he echoed.

"What are we going to do?" I asked.

He sighed, "I have no idea, I mean, none of the buttons work and we can't climb out...I have no idea."

I leaned my head back against the wall and closed my eyes, "The walkie talkie?" I wondered.

He hummed, "Maybe, but there's no point now since it's so late. Doubtful anyone would even hear it."

I bit my lip, "So we're just...stuck."

I heard him shuffling so I looked over to him and sat that he moved to sit right in front of me, our legs just a few inches away from each other.

"For now," he stated, "we're gonna get out of here...it just won't be through the elevator right now. When the doors open-"

"We'll have to fight," I finished simply.

He grinned at me, "Or be sneaky and get out," he raised his brows.

"Or be sneaky," I agreed, "how would we do that though?"

He sighed, "I'm not sure," he admitted, "that's the problem...it might have to be an on the move kinda plan that we can't plan for."

I knew he was right. We didn't know what was behind the doors. We didn't know what we were going to have to do. We wouldn't know what to do until the last possible second.

"Shit," I whispered.

"Hey," Steve softly said, causing my eyes to flash to him, "I was serious when I said I wouldn't let anything happen to Dustin, you know?"

I smiled back cautiously, "I know."

He cleared his throat, "That extends to you too, okay? I won't let anything happen to either of you...Robin and Erica too, obviously," he added, "I swear it."

"Thanks Steve," I told him.

Steve stretched his legs out in front of him, which put them next to my legs, "You happy to be almost done with school?" he questioned.

I sighed straightening my legs out too. It clicked in my head in an instant. Could this be the moment where I got all my feelings about King Steve off my chest? So that maybe every time I looked at Steve I wouldn't have this subconscious fear of whatever he was thinking about? Could this be the moment I, finally, stand up for myself the way I should've against them for years?

I cleared my throat and looked away from him, "Yeah, this is finally gonna be a good year I think, so I'm more looking forward to that."

"Finally?" he asked, puzzled.

I let my eyes ghost over him for a second before looking down at my lap, "Yeah...now that some certain kids are gone, I might actually have a pleasant school year."

I took a peak up at him and say his eyes watching me intently, "Who?"

Just as quickly as my semi bravery came, it was gone. I realized I didn't want to hurt his feelings or anything.

I looked down once again, "Tommy and Carole mostly...but um," I bit my lip, wishing I could backtrack and not say anything else, but I was too far gone, "you were there for one big one."

"What?" he blurted, shocked.

I took a breath and looked up at him, seeing the sadness already evident on his face, "When Tommy told me you had a crush on me? Then you laughed and told him how messed up that was. You also called me Lisa so..."

He sighed deeply and rubbed a hand on the back of his neck, "Shit," he whispered quietly, "I honestly don't remember that...but yeah that sounds like something douchy Steve would be involved in," Steve lamented, as I watched his body semi deflate as this realization.

I shrugged my shoulders gently, "You definitely were."

He ran a hand through his hair before bringing his knees up to his chest, "That's not...me anymore, Lou," he expressed, wrapping his arms around his knees.

I shot him a small smile, "So I've been told," I told him before sighing heavily, "Steve I don't-I dont necessarily think thats you anymore either...but that was just such a shitty thing, and I really wanted to get it off my chest."

He let his legs stretch out once more and his mouth fell open, "Is that...is that why you hadn't really talked to me when I started hanging around with Dustin? Or why you seemed a bit standoff-ish at the beginning of all this?" he wondered watching for my reaction.

I looked away from him as I nodded slowly.

"Lou," he breathed, I looked back to him and saw the regret in his eyes, he looked so sad, "I'm really sorry...about all of that," he told me earnestly, fidgeting with the hem of his scoops ahoy shirt.

I smiled a little and looked away from him, "Thanks."

"Please don't...accept the apology unless you...really accept it. I was a true asshole in school, and I just-shit," he said, looking up to the ceiling, "I know how much of a jerk I was to a lot of people, Lou. You included, same with Jonathan and probably Robin too."

"Steve," I began, "Steve, please look at me," I pleaded.

He took a second but he finally lowered his head and made eye contact with me.

"I know that...that was all high school shit and maybe it was to save face with Tommy H and Carole...regardless, yeah you kinda sucked in high school," I rambled, trying to get to my point, "but that doesn't seem like you now. And I wasn't bringing this up to make you feel bad or to upset or hurt you...it's just been something that's been weighing on me for so long, then we're thrown into this madness together. I just wanted to get this off of me so that I coukd start dealing with it instead of bottling it up."

"Trust me, I'm happy you brought it up," he told me, "I don't want you to have this version of me in your head anymore. The shit I did to a lot of people was-it was really messed up. I can't change it, but I can try and change the way you think of me going forward."

"I appreciate that a lot, Steve, really I do," I admitted, "we really don't have to keep talking about this...it's been said so we can just...continue onwards."

"Just before we move forward or whatever, I just...shit," he sighed running both hands through his hair before looking back to me with an intensity I hadnt seen before from him, "I will never intentionally hurt you, Louise. Seriously, I-I was a jerk back then, not that that's an excuse, but that's the truth. And I'm so sorry you've carried that around with you all this time, it should have never happened. I'm just...so sorry. Really, really from the bottom of my heart, I'm so sorry."

I was taken aback a bit because of his response to this. I never once thought he would react to this the way he did. With absolute sincerity and honesty and admitting how much of a jerk he was. I couldnt believe it.

"Thank-you, Steve," I said, breathlessly, "that means a lot to me."

He grinned sadly at me briefly before his eyes looked downcast. I looked away from him to give him his space after all of that. He finally spoke up after a few minutes.

"So I mean...have you started looking at colleges yet?" he asked quietly.

I smiled over at him, "A few...I think im gonna stay local though, be close to mom and Dust...especially knowing all this now, I'll wanna be as close as I can be," I chuckled.

"What about you? Where are you headed this year?" I asked him.

"To Scoops Ahoy," he answered automatically.

I squinted, "Oh...so no college?"

He cleared his throat, "No...I figured that I'd take a year off and work, you know, learn the value of earning and all that shit. Then figure out what I wanna do."

"That's smart, Steve," I smiled.

He shook his head with a small smile, "Honestly I just wanted to see if my story was as believable to people as I wanted it to be. Truthfully, I didn't get into any school that I wanted and my dad said I needed to get a job...and that's the scoops ahoy story."

I immediately felt bad for him, "I'm really sorry, Steve."

He shrugged, "Hey...that's life I guess. I proved my dad right that I wouldn't amount to anything other than working for him so...I mean, you heard what he said...I'm his biggest disappointment," he mumbled.

"What do you want to do?"

"What?"

"What do you want to be when you're older?"

He scratched his head, "Oh...I dont know, I guess. I've never really thought of it too much. What about you?"

"I want to be an accountant, I've done my moms taxes for the last few years just for fun before she gave them to the actual accountant and I've always been right. I like numbers and stuff," I explained, feeling self conscious that he would think I'm a nerd or something.

"That's a good one," he nodded with a smile, "you're really smart, Lou. You could literally do anything, I think."

My face flushed at his words, "Thanks," I said softly.

He hesitated with a thoughtful expression, "Maybe a teacher," he finally said, "I like hanging out with your brother and the other kids in the party for the most part...I like imparting my wisdom on them and helping them out...yeah...a teacher sounds good," he said with a very faint smile, but the smile was gone in an instant.

"But no school will take me for that...my grades were shit, no one would want me teaching their kids," he declared with an eye roll before looking to the wall.

I put my hand on his knee and shook it to get him to look at me, "Go and talk to the principle or something...maybe they can help out somehow? Taking night classes or something so you can bring your grades up?"

"Yeah that'd look good, Steve Harrington returns to Hawkins High because he got rejected from every school he applied to," he said sarcastically.

I scoffed, "No, it would look like, Steve Harrington returns to school to work towards a better life for himself."

"I'd probably flunk those classes too," he said dejected.

I scooted up so we were closer to each other, and took his hand in mine, looking right in his eyes, "Steve...you've gotta have faith in yourself. If you don't wanna work for your dad then don't work for him. If you don't want to turn out like him, then don't. Nothing is stopping you. You're young, Steve, you can make something of yourself. And you're smart-"

"Not really-"

"Yes you are! You can acknowledge things that you did wrong in the past, you helped with the plan for getting in here, and you're gonna help get us out! I dont know who's been telling you that you're not smart, but they're wrong. Just put your mind to something, Steve, and you'll get whatever it is that you want," I squeezed his hand as I spoke.

He sent me a small smile, "You should re think your career choice and become a motivational speaker."

I laughed quietly, "I'll think about it."

"But seriously, thank you for that...that huh...yeah that means a lot to have someone say that," he explained, putting his other hand over ours.

"No problem," I smiled, "and I'll help you too, Steve. Picking classes, with homework, studying, I'd be happy to help."

"Thank-you," he murmured.

I smiled at him before sliding myself back against the wall, letting his hand go gently in the process.

"So...when the door opens..."

"I'm telling you, I can take them on," he told me, "whoever is on the other side, I'll take them out!" he joked.

I laughed quietly, "I'm sure you will," I said through a yawn.

"Get some sleep, Lou," he told me gently, patting my knee.

I hummed and leaned my head against the wall, "You have too, to."

"I will," he promised.

I sighed, "Close your eyes too, Steve," I said as my eyelids closed by themselves.

"I will, Lou, I swear," he reassured me, with his hand still on my knee.

"Night, Steve," I whispered wearily.

"Night, Louise," he whispered soothingly back to me.

——

Title credit to REO Speedwagon and gif credit to owner

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington #steve harrington imagine #stranger things #stranger things imagine #netflix #dustin henderson

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midnight-circus · 4 years ago

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sometimes you just gotta meme for the new guy.

this is two memes combined so sorry if theres similar questions i couldnt be bothered to post them separately lmao

it’s fuckin huge My Bad

Names? If you were to choose another name for your oc, what do you think it would be? Did you choose their name for how it sounds or for its meaning?

Tbh it was a toss-up for a long time between Mallory, Felix and Everaud, and eventually the first two won. I chose it for how it sounded, but as it turned out the meanings of his first two names juxtapose pretty well together (first name Mallory - ‘unlucky’, second name Felix - ‘lucky’). His surname, Valkner, I also picked for the sound - the meaning of ‘warrior’ doesn’t really pertain to him lmao

He hasn’t gone by his legit first name of Mallory since he was about 12, and has used Felix almost exclusively since then. he fuckin hates it. most of the time.

Can your oc play any instruments? Have they ever wanted to learn how to play any? Why?

No, he grew up without much money and instruments would have been a luxury. He’s vaguely considered it as an adult, but is pretty certain he’d be useless so hasn’t bothered trying.

How does your oc fare in the dark? Are they scared? Do they trip over things really easily or navigate like they have night vision? (Or do they have night vision?)

He doesn’t like the dark much, but he’s not scared. He’s just got bad eyesight.

How well would your oc fare as a teacher? What subject would they be best at teaching? What about the worst?

tbh he’d probably be pretty good as a teacher to a group of like...primary school kids, maybe from 5-11 in age. He’s quiet-voiced, fairly mild-mannered, and has a strong sense of fairness and justice - the problem would arise when it came to older pupils, teens and up, trying to get the upperhand, bc he’s not authoritative in the slightest and would probably cave. Give him a room of toddlers tho that he’s only responsible for in short bursts and he’d cope pretty well. Either history or english lit would be his forte; sports would be worst. the boy can’t run.

What was your oc’s relationship with their parents like? If they didn’t have any parents/didn’t know them, who in their life was the closest to a parent to them?

It’s...good? I guess?? It’s complicated. his parents love their kids dearly and Felix didn’t go wanting for affection, but if anything it went too far the other way. He was absolutely smothered as a kid - after several near-death experiences with childhood illnesses (bacterial meningitis, which developed into encephalitis, then sepsis in his leg), his mother wrapped him up in cotton wool and never really let go. He couldn’t leave the house alone, he couldn’t go outside on cold days, he couldn’t move at anything faster than a walk - after being in and out of hospitals from 5-years-old to 8, and then being kept on a shelf from then, it really had an impact on how he learnt to interact with other kids his age. It’s also given him an unstable footing in life itself - he’s never quite certain if he’s going to lose everything at the drop of a hat, because that’s how they used to act around him. Now, with the distance of adulthood, he loves them and appreciates that they were trying their best, but he can’t help but resent them a little if he really thinks about it. He gets around this by not thinking about it.

Does your oc have any allergies, intolerances, or other sensitivities? How dangerous is it? Does this affect their daily life in any way?

he’s got an allergy to letting himself be happy it’s very serious

Does your oc prefer being in a crowd or being completely alone? How many people can be around them before they get uncomfortable?

Generally he’s more content alone - conversation doesn’t come naturally to him, particularly if it’s a crowd of strangers, and he’s more content in his own company. If he does find himself in a crowd, he will take himself to the edge of the room and people-watch rather than mingle.

How open is your oc to trying new things? Are they the adventurous sort, or would they rather stay in their comfort zone? Why?

He needs to be talked into things, otherwise he’d never try anything - he knows his comfort zones and he’s very comfortable in them, and is not inclined to venture outside. If he’s nudged into doing something, he may end up finding that he enjoys it - doesn’t necessarily mean he’d do it again under his own steam, but he doesn’t always regret the experience.

Does your oc have any best friends? Who was/is their closest friend? What about their worst enemy?

Pathetically enough, he doesn’t, really. Sylvia was his best, and to be honest his only friend, and when she left his social life left with her. He loves her still, but he loves her platonically (even if he hasn’t realised that yet) and that wasn’t enough for her, understandably. Outside of her, there’s not really anyone else.

No enemies. He’s not important enough to have enemies.

How dangerous is your oc? Are they completely innocent, or someone to be feared? Do others know?

tbh Felix’s level of danger is about the same as a puppy with a knife in its mouth. like yeah it might get you by accident but its way more likely to hurt itself and its not really done anything to deserve that so really its more important to get the knife away from it for its own benefit than yours

What is your oc’s vision like? Do they require glasses, are they completely blind, or do they have 20/20 vision? Does this have an effect on their life?

He wears glasses for pretty much everything - he’s not blind without them, but his vision’s bad enough that he wouldn’t be able to cope for the whole day if he left them at home.

If your oc were to be arrested for something, what would it be for? For being too kind, for a legitimate crime?

Probably for getting mixed up in something he didn’t mean to get involved in - Felix is the sort of person to say ‘yes’ to one request because he felt pressured and then find himself 20 ‘yes’s down the line embezzling money from the government for the Serbian mafia with no idea how he got there. He’s quite easy to manipulate - a person who knows how to press his buttons can generally work the answer they want out of him.

How quiet or loud is your oc? Are they easily capable of sneaking around without being heard, or do they feel it’s impossible to stop talking?

He’s pretty quiet - tries not to draw attention to himself if he can avoid it, and he doesn’t really speak unless he’s spoken to.

How stylistically fancy is your oc? Or would they rather go for comfort and plainness instead?

His primary concern is durability and price - he needs something that will either last for as long as possible so he doesn’t have to replace it any time soon, or something that is cheap enough that it doesn’t matter if it wears out, and ergo, Primark. He oftens window-shops for nice-fitting, fancy clothing in the London boutiques he passes on the way to work, but has never bought anything like that in his life and can’t bring himself to even consider it.

What’s your oc’s preferred mode of transportation? Walking, vehicle, (or in a sci-fi/magic setting) teleportation?

His preferred mode of transport is a car, but his isn’t always working properly so when he has to, he takes a bus - he doesn’t like walking if he can avoid it, partially because it wears him out and partially because he’s kind of physically lazy.

Is your oc always late, always early, or always right on time? Is there any reason for this?

He’s always early, because he leaves early, because he’s already envisioned about 20 different disasters that could make him late on the way and he’s trying to circumvent all of them.

How empathetic is your oc? Or are they closer to being a sociopath? Any reason why?

Felix doesn’t really realise that he’s empathetic - he thinks he’s just doing what everyone does, but in fact he will go out of his way to improve a situation for someone if he thinks they’re being hard-done-by for no benefit to himself, even to the extent of bending or breaking rules. It’s partially why he got into the law-scene - he wants to see things bettered for people who need it.

How much does your oc swear? Or do they keep completely clean? Why is this? Is there any situation where they would be the opposite?

Swearing doesn’t come naturally to him - he’s one of those people who will swear only under their breath and still manage to feel guilty about doing it. If he is going to swear out loud, he does it in German and it always comes out clumsily.

How does your oc’s own perception of themselves compare to how other people see them? Is your oc aware that other people see them differently (if it’s different)?

It’s pretty different. In his mind, he’s pretty useless - a bit of a waste-of-space who has coasted through life by pretending to be better than he is, kind of dull, kind of boring, kind of unattractive, altogether too much of Nothing Special for anyone to really be bothered with. Realistically, he comes across as responsible and competent at his job, perhaps a little highly-strung and nervy but nevertheless perfectly capable of managing the responsibilities he has. It’s his own self-doubt that cripples him, for the most part - people see it in him, and perhaps it makes them wonder if there’s a reason for it.

Is your oc a workaholic, or do they find it hard to be busy at all? Do they find it easy to relax, or must they have something to do at all times? Why?

if he’s not working, he’s thinking, and that simply won’t do. Felix’s whole life is work, for the most part - he throws his all into it, and isn’t sure what to do with himself when he’s sitting at home alone in a dead-quiet flat.

How energetic is your oc? Do they have trouble sitting still or do they feel low on juice all the time? Any reason why?

He’s constantly exhausted. It’s because he’s depressed. He hasn’t figured that out yet.

How does your character sleep? Peacefully, fitfully? What position do they sleep in? What is their typical bedding like?

Not very peacefully - Felix is a light sleeper, so although capable of getting to sleep relatively quickly he wakes up in fits and starts throughout the night. He tends to sleep curled on his left side, on bedding that is cheap, serviceable and durable. He can’t afford to buy anything decent. He finds it easier to stay asleep if there’s ambient noise in the room - white noise, the TV, whatever.

Does your oc have dreams or nightmares? What are they like? Is there a recurring one?

He’ll suffer a pretty bad nightmare here and there, generally to do with hospitals or medical procedures, but they aren’t chronic.

How easy to annoy is your oc? Do they have common pet-peeves or are they stoic in response to everything? What is their reaction if the source doesn’t stop?

he’s real easy to annoy lmao. He’s got a list of pet peeves a mile long and he’s very easy to get a rise out of, so people who enjoy getting a reaction (Lyon) find him very entertaining pickings. He keeps telling himself not to get so worked up because it only encourages things, but he can’t help it.

How does your oc view housework? Do they absolutely hate it? Do they enjoy having their surroundings neat and tidy or do they not notice?

He hates doing it, but he really enjoys a clean space afterwards and goes a long way to keep things organised. Disorder stresses him out - he particularly can’t bear people coming into his space and messing it up.

Your oc has to make something for an art exhibition. What would they make? How terrible is it? Would they enjoy making it?

oh christ. the thing is, he’s actually not that bad at art - he’s got a good handle on anatomy and perspective and can reproduce images or photpgraphs fairly well - but he thinks he’s useless and has never shown anyone anything. he’d produce a pretty solid sketch of like a coffee shop at 5pm or something dull like that, apologise profusely for the result, and hate every second of it.

What is your oc’s vocabulary like? Does it match the way they talk? How would you describe their speech?

He speaks pretty well - he’s precise with his words and keeps a quiet, even tone, and his vocab is fairly developed. If there’s a flaw with his speech, it’s that he speaks rather too quickly, because he’s used to being constantly interrupted - it becomes a race to get the sentence finished and his point across, before someone can cut him off.

He has a south German accent, but it’s a little softer for years of living in England - it gets stronger when he goes back home to Munich.

Is your oc more likely to follow instructions exactly, throw them out and figure it out on their own, or make it all up? What are the results like?

He follows instructions to the T, and doesn’t have the impulse to experiment and mess around with them for fear of making a mistake that he’d then have to clean up; that being said, if it becomes a matter of fair treatment, he may be inclined to bend the rules here and there.

Is your oc afraid of touch or do they actively seek it out? Is there a reason for this? What are the exceptions?

lmaoooOOOOO he’s petrified, whilst at the same time desperately craving it. He’s horrendously touch-starved, but his childhood lizard-brain learnt to associate touch with painful medical procedures, so he shies from it by nature.

How is your oc about medical care? Do they avoid any form of healthcare that they can, do they seek it out over every little scrape? Do they treat their injuries/illness all by themselves?

Felix carries an awful lot of medical trauma with him; he’s terrified of medical care, whilst simultaneously being something of a hypochondriac convinced he’s got some sort of Terrible Disease at all times. to be fair, this is because he once had a Terrible Disease, which then led to a second and then a third Terrible Disease before the first could even be treated, so he does have form for it. He also can’t handle blood and has been known to pass out at the sight of it, but would rather do that and recover on the floor than go to hospital.

He will avoid hospitals At All Costs.

How competitive is your oc? Is every little task something that they can win, or are they just in competitions for the fun of it? Is there anyone they’re most competitive with?

He’s sort of competitive accidentally - he doesn’t want to be, but he feels like he needs to be in order to succeed. He is desperate to prove himself, desperate to show his mother than he is more than capable of managing his own life, but he will run himself to exhaustion trying to get there. He’s happiest when he’s left to do his own thing without feeling like he’s competing against others, when he’s content that he’s appreciated by the people around him and is able to take that appreciation at face value, but he hasn’t come to that realisation in himself yet - he just thinks he’s doing it wrong.

How skilled at lying is your oc? How frequently do they lie? For what reason? What situations would be the exception?

lmao he can’t lie to save his life it’s actually kind of sad to watch. he’s a Blusher, for one, so he’s already tripped coming out of the gate, and then he starts falling over his own tongue the second he’s asked a question he can’t give a truthful answer to until it’s painfully obvious to everyone. it’s just sad.

What is your oc’s immune system like? Are they invincible to illness, or are they compromised completely from the slightest of dirt?

His immune system is terrible - a side-effect of his childhood. If there’s an illness going around, he will catch it.

Does your oc do anything “just for the aesthetic”? Or are they completely practical in everything?

Totally practical by habit, but perhaps he’d be happier if he wasn’t. He’s not used to doing things just because he wants to, because he’d enjoy the experience - there has to be a reason for it, else he’s not justified in doing it. Same goes for purchasing things that he wants - if he can’t come up with a good, solid, practical reason to buy himself something, he won’t buy it. ‘Because you want to’ is not reason enough.

If you had to choose a single object to act as a symbol for your oc, what would it be?

One of those candles that re-ignites itself when you blow it out.

If your oc could only eat one thing for the rest of their life (while miraculously not suffering from malnutrition), what would it be?

He’s got a massive sweet tooth and spends a lot of time baking, so probably cake - he’s fond of little gay French patisserie nonsense.

How prepared is your oc? Ready for the worst no matter what, or completely lost in every situation? Would they have a medkit when it was needed? Would they have an umbrella if it rains?

As much as he panics, in a legitimate bad situation he is capable of keeping his head - he runs on adrenaline and suffers the consequences later. He carries a first-aid kit in his car, but has never needed to use it, and yes, he always has an umbrella.

How charitable is your oc? Or are they more stingy with their resources and money?

god. He is stingy, but not out of a miserly nature - he just legitimately does not have much money. He never has, ever since childhood, and that shit is ingrained in him - you watch what you’re spending, because you never know when you’re going to need to make an emergency payment.

If someone was describing your oc to someone who had never met them, what distinguishing features would they mention? How would one identify your oc in a crowd?

Short guy, kind of round-faced, round glasses - kinda looks like he’s lost even when he isn’t. Jumps if you bump into him.

Does your oc have any pleasure that embarrasses them so they keep it secret? Or are they open about all the things they enjoy?

literally everything that he enjoys, he’s embarrassed about. He likes old black-and-white movies and he’s embarrassed about that. He reads shitty romcom fiction and he’s embarrassed about that. He enjoys cooking, he’s embarrassed about that. He actually enjoys sex, believe it or not, and he’s embarrassed about it. Don’t even fuckin get him started on his kinks because he’s embarrassed about them. tbh Felix doesn’t really know how to enjoy himself without guilt or shame, because he always feels like he needs to justify the things he likes and he doesn’t know how to do it. He’s just embarrassed.

What is your oc’s stamina like? Would they be able to run a marathon, or not run at all? What about walking/another physical activity? How are they with exercise in general?

Shitty stamina - he’s got weak lungs and the extent of his running ability is running for a bus and then needing literally four hours to recover. He sort of makes a vague attempt to exercise at home, but is easily discouraged and would just rather lie on the couch having a crisis of body-image.

How long can your oc stay focused on one task before they get bored? Do they constantly have to switch things up or do they hyperfocus? What sort of things is it the opposite for?

Felix is the king of repetitive, menial tasks. Set him in front of a diary or a spreadsheet and he’s well away. He really doesn’t mind thoughtless admin labour, even as he insists that he’s capable of handling more responsibility - and although he is more than capable, he also feels comforted by the predictability of data-entry. A nice mix of both would be ideal.

What smells bring back specific memories to your oc? What are those memories like?

Antiseptic and rubber floors, with that underlying stink of sickness. They’re not good memories.

How jumpy or easily spooked is your oc? Do they have a fight or flight reflex to being startled, or are they never startled at all?

He’s super-jumpy and easy to startle, which is delightful to some people. Between fight or flight, he’ll fly.

How polite is your oc? Do they do everything with the utmost courtesy, or do they completely refuse to say please and thank you?

He’s unfailingly polite, because his mother would have beat him with a shoe if he wasn’t.

How flexible is your oc? Can they touch their toes or do they have trouble just sitting down because of how stiff they are?

He doesn’t think he’s flexible at all, but certain intercurricular activities with Lyon suggest that he’s more flexible than he thinks he is.

What is your oc’s typical walking like? Do they speed-walk everywhere, do they take quick short steps or long paces? How loud are their footsteps?

Because his legs are kinda short, he walks pretty quickly just to be able to keep up with people - quiet steps, because he’s trying not to draw attention to himself.

If your oc was in a video game, what would their idle animation be?

Cleaning his glasses, putting them back on, squinting through them, then taking them off and cleaning them again ad infinitum.

What topics does your oc know the most about? Are these obvious or would these be surprising to others?

He’s a talented cook and has absorbed quite a lot about flavour profiles and all that shit that I know nothing about so I’m not going into details lmao. He’s also got a bank of knowledge about classic films that he keeps to himself, as he’s never convinced anyone would be interested. He’s got a lot of shit that he keeps to himself for this same reason, and therefore there’s quite a lot he could surprise people with if the right topics came up.

What time of day is your oc most awake? What about most tired? Do they get up at the same time every morning without need of an alarm, or is their sleep schedule all over the place?

Tries to tell himself he’s a morning-person. He isn’t. Left to his own devices he’d wake up about 10 and fall asleep about 2am, but he’ll insist if asked that he’s naturally inclined to wake up early.

What would someone blackmail your oc with? Would they be successful in getting what they wanted?

they’d get hold of a list of his pornhub browsing history and yes, they would absolutely be successful.

How easily does your oc get attached to things? Does everything have a sentimental value to them, or do they see nothing as more valuable than its practical use? What about with people/animals?

He gets attached to people and animals very easily, but as for things - he gets angry when he breaks or loses items, but that’s more to do with being stressed about having to pay to replace them than anything sentimental. He’s thrifty to a fault and won’t throw anything out until it’s absolutely unusable, to the point that he’s gotten pretty skilled at sewing repairs in order to avoid getting rid of clothes. He does have sentimental attachments to a few things, but not the majority.

How stubborn is your oc? Are they easily convinced of the opposite opinion, do they not agree but let it happen anyways? Or do they cause conflicts with their inability to budge in their decisions?

He’s not stubborn, as such, but he does know his own mind. He can be talked around or into things quite easily, but he does like to feel as though his voice has been heard.

How much has your oc traveled? Why is this? Would they like to travel more? Or are they perfectly fine with staying home?

He’d prefer to stay home - there’s too much room for error travelling abroad, and the risks don’t really outweigh the benefits for him. He travels back and forth between England and Germany, and he has visited France before as a boy, but that’s about it.

What signs tell that your oc is nervous? Do they fidget, is it in their expression or the way they say things? Or are they very skilled at hiding it?

He fiddles with his glasses and fidgets his hands around, and is also (as mentioned) a blusher - he’s Not Subtle when he’s nervous or flustered, which in turn makes it worse.

How superstitious your oc? Do they end up following them ‘just in case’? Or are superstitions incredibly important to your oc? What are some that they believe? What about the ones they don’t?

He says he isn’t superstitious, but I’m not certain that’s true - I think he’s superstitious despite himself. He follows them, then gets annoyed with himself for following them and assures himself that he won’t do it again, but then when it comes to it next time he follows them again anyway. He won’t walk under ladders, won’t open an umbrella indoors and he broke a mirror once and almost died. The only one he doesn’t believe is unlucky black cats, because he’s never met a black cat that was unpleasant.

#felix1 #god PLEASE let the cut work this is huge

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diamondsnpolaroids · 5 years ago

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I know I havent posted in awhile, and I will catch you all up on my weekly polaroid progression shots but I've really been struggling this week and I need to get it out somewhere.

Yes. I am still pregnant. In 3 days I'll finally be 40 weeks. A milestone I never thought I'd get to because this entire pregnancy has been a rollercoaster of emotions, pain and endless struggles. I didnt want to be pregnant this long. At all. This is going to be long and there will be a lot of personal details, but I need to get it out. I'm tired of having all these thoughts with no outlet.

Since I was 16 years old I was convinced I would never be able to have a child. It was always a devastating thought until I got to the age of 22 when i finally kind of accepted the fact and was okay not becoming a mother. The one thing i wanted between those years, the one thing that broke my heart was I'd never be able to experience the feeling of being pregnant. That may seem silly because that's such a short period of time when it comes to being a mother. 9 months of growing a human compared to the years and years of seeing that person grow is so minuscule. But for some reason that was always what broke me most.

I was dating the same man that entire time. I was 16 when we first starting dating, and I'll be convinced till the day I die that he was my soulmate. He was my best friend over absolutely anything. I could be my totally authentic self with him. He knew how weird I was and stayed. He watched me drown myself in my depression and stayed. He saw me act like a child, like an adult, my worst and best moments. Experienced my grief and my biggest accomplishments and was always right there for me. Growing up with an alcoholic drug addict father I knew I needed a man that would never abandon his family for those things. He was the man I knew I never needed to worry about.

I never really noticed the abusive behavior. The mental torture, isolation, the control he held over me, how hard his harsh words would hit.. it never really crossed my mind because when the good times were good, they were great. When they were bad, I was convinced it was all on me. My depression was the controlling one. My insane mind was the problem. Never him. Then the alcohol started to take over. He consumed himself in it whenever he had the chance. His childhood was ruined by this substance just like mine was and he was slowly turning to it instead of working out his trauma that it caused. Hed increase the intake slowly but surely and when it got too much for me to handle I'd cry and beg that he stopped. Seeing how upset it made me the first few times hed stop or slow down. But it was never for long. Hed go a week and then once again it would slowly increase and the cycle would continue. After awhile, I was "crazy" and he was "just doing what everyone our age was doing". No one our age was drinking 6+ a night on week days and spending $200 at least per night on the weekends. By the time we hit 7 years it got to an all time low. April of 2019 I realized all of this wasnt okay any more. An old friend had walked into my life and for the first time in years I was treated like a human being with feelings. Real feelings that were valid. I was told and shown that I was no where near the same happy girl I once was. It was all over my face and in my body language that I was a totally different person and not in a good way. It was clear just by looking in my eyes that I was severely depressed. I was reassured that my decision to split to work on ourselves was indeed the best step forward I could have ever taken.

My boyfriend reluctantly agreed to end the relationship for the sake of bettering ourselves or else we'd never last as a long term couple. He stopped drinking. Wed still hangout but was met with an extreme depression on his end, begging for me to stay and help him through it as if I hadn't tried for years and years. I knew nothing I could do would make him change, it needed to be a decision he made for himself. He had ruined every part of my being and I needed to explore who I was as an individual. My old friend made me feel ways I hadn't in years and eventually I caved to my emotions and desperate need to feel wanted without the attachment and abusive behavior always on my shoulders. I wasnt with my ex, and I kept it from him. After a month I started to notice his changes but it wasnt enough. He still tried to keep me wrapped around his finger while questioning my every move. He was working on it though, and I was noticing the change, but I couldnt stop what I was doing.

After another month he found out. He was upset, naturally, but was still around. He still wanted to work on it. Then 3 days later I took my first pregnancy test. It was positive. I kept it to myself praying it was a fluke. I took 2 more the next day. It wasnt. I took one last one, called my doctor, then called him over. I told him, and it wasnt an ideal reaction. He was forcing an abortion on me. For someone who never thought they could get pregnant, to find out after years that it was indeed possible, I just couldnt. This was a miracle in my eyes. Once I told him I couldnt, giving him the option to sign off all his rights and to stay away if that's what he wanted, he accepted he was going to be a father. But he also disappeared. Just up and left, and I was met with the worst mental abuse he could ever dish out for weeks. I had never felt so low in my entire life. Being told our child is a mistake, how terrible of a person I was and how him not being around is totally and completely my fault. What i failed to mention is for the last 3 years of our relationship he would use snapchat to talk to girls behind my back. I'd check his phone after every fight and hed go out drinking, just to see up to 7 different girls names with a "sent" notification beside them. I'd delete them off his contacts, confront him, ect ect, but he never stopped. I was always ashamed I stayed with someone who could do this but my love for him was so blind and so strong.. I couldnt let go.

Whenever I would mention all the hurt he caused me, it never compared to me sleeping with someone else while we weren't even together. It was ALL. MY. FAULT. And he couldnt take even an ounce of responsibility for how he treated me and pushed me out of his arms. After 2 weeks of us knowing I'm pregnant, he started seeing someone else. He was drinking beyond what he ever was with me, and now he was with someone else. Some girl who was also fresh out of a long term relationship, totally okay with the fact he was to but also expecting a baby with. I shouldnt have been mad or upset, we weren't together, but it hurt. I wanted the man I thought I'd never have to worry about being a good dad to actually be here with me on this journey. But he wasnt. For the months to come he gave me promises that their relationship wasnt an offical thing and reassured me he doesnt think she'll be around long. I shouldnt give up hope on us. My hormonal, emotional self prayed that was true.. until they became official in September.

Once that happened, it was like a ghost town. I only saw him for the 3 ultrasounds we had to pay for. He never came to any doctors appointments, he didnt feel the baby move, nothing. The entire time blaming me for him not being around. I sat at home every day after long shifts at work knowing I'm all alone in this world, growing a baby, doing everything by myself while he lived his life with no responsibility, laying next to her every night. Every day my heart broke. Some days were better than others, but not a single day I didnt wish and pray that hed atleast be there for his child. I knew my feelings weren't relevant anymore, I just wanted my son to have a father. He needed to have a father. I wasnt going to let my kid go through life always wondering why he wasnt enough for him like I did. I still hurt for myself, but no where near as much as I hurt for my son. I was given empty promises from my ex, he said hed call every day so atleast if he didnt watch our baby grow inside of me, hed atleast know his voice when he finally arrives. But hed go days without calling, and it would somehow turn into my fault because I hurt him too much to call his son.

I've spent this entire pregnancy working on myself, on my mental health, researching how to be a mother, what I need to do and stay away from, how to cope with every type of situation that may arise. I've done nothing but work on growing myself to be the best person I could be for my son. He just stayed drinking away his problems, distracting himself in every type of way he could. Avoiding all responsibilities of becoming a father soon.

Fast forward to about a week ago, when a phone call got a little spicy heated between us and ended in me sending him some snapchats of myself by his request. I know I shouldnt have, he was with someone else, but I missed him and wanted one last feeling of being wanted by the man I always thought I'd marry. I did exactly what broke me the last 3 years of our relationship and I really didnt feel bad about it. For 2 days this continued until it just stopped and he got cold with me. Once again, I'm left broken hearted but this time, I know it's my own fault.

During the time before this, for months I highly considered giving my son my last name. It made sense. He wasnt reliable enough to even spend 30 seconds every day to call his son, how could I ever believe hed be there every day for him once he was born? It was logical. Everyone who knew our situation told me I should even before I brought up that being an option I was weighing in my mind.

A few days after our snapchatting stopped, I had to finally tell him. I couldnt bring myself to blindside him with something so serious. I should have, really, but I still hold his feelings deep in my heart, and I couldnt hurt the man I spent over 7 years with like this. So I told him. He broke. But not in any way I ever thought he would. He confessed how he still loved me, how everyone around him knows he still loves me, ending with how much this would break his heart, giving us no chance of ever being together again. We'd never be able to do things as a family, hed never look at me or our son again. It was, to say the least, extremely intense. But it also left me wondering if this was one of the many manipulative ways he knows to get what he wants. He always brought "us" up to get his way on things. It felt genuine, but I'm also extremely hormonal and yes I still love and miss him like crazy.

It's been a few days since then and theres been no word of any feelings since. Hes been cold and more distant and my heart is once again broken into a million pieces. Hes called a couple times but he still misses days. I was given the go ahead to try and self induce labour by my midwives so I have been. When he calls and asks what I did with my day, I'd tell him. Last night apparently I shouldnt have. I was met with anger because I should "leave him be, he'll come when hes ready" as if he knows any kind of physical pain I've been through these last few months.

These past 2 weeks alone I have felt nothing but pain. Between feeling my hips separating, my pelvic bones shifting and my son's head descending lower, constant back pain, not being able to walk properly, my kid sitting on nerves leaving my legs feeling paralyzed or sending shocks into my vagina. Not being able to sleep more than 2 hours at a time max, peeing every hour on the hour, his feet kicking my ribs so hard I curl over, getting his feet stuck under them as well. The pains are unimaginable as you can see, now mixed with all the emotional distress I've been under... you could imagine how I'm ready for this child to enter the world. But no.. I'm being selfish. He isnt ready. I'm fine to keep going. Because apparently my ex knows everything my body is enduring just to bring our child into this world. It broke my fucking heart last night when he yelled at me for it. Absolutely shattered it.

Which brings us to this picture. I couldnt sleep once again, and every time I woke up I was met with mind numbing depression and long crying spells. I feel more alone than ever. My 16-22 years of age is crying for me knowing this was all I ever wanted out of life and it has been constantly ruined and brought down by a man I never knew would act the way he has been. This pregnancy was so easy in almost every aspect compared to most women, I've been so so blessed to have such an easy time physically and yet I constantly feel as if he has ruined this experience for me. Sometimes the mental abuse from a man is worse than the physical. And he knew exactly how to ruin this all for his own selfish needs. I've spent all day today feeling ruined, beaten down, and just straight up depressed. I'm not ready to be a mother, infact I am absolutely scared shitless to be one. But I'm willing to go through being scared over all this physical pain I've been through that seems never ending. I'm ready to meet and love my little man. But once again I feel like I cant even be happy about it because of my ex.

I'm tired. I'm so so so tired of being so inlove with a man who has shown me time and time again he wont be the father I always knew he could be. My heart hurts so bad for my son every single day. And I'm just.... tired. Which is why I'm posting this picture along with my story. I know some women have it worse with their pregnancies and the fathers leaving. I know some men can be all of this plus physically abusive towards women. I know I dont have it the worst, but I'm trying. I need to for my son. I doubt this post will get very far, and I know a lot of judgment will come my way for it, but if my pregnancy journey can help even one woman not feel so alone, then I'm happy with sharing it.

#pregnancy mention #pregnant #preggers #pregnancy #single mother #single mom #polaroids #polaroid #instax #instant photography #inspiration #instaphoto #baby bump #baby #babyboy #my baby

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dontjudgemebymykpoptrash · 5 years ago

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Saw A.C.E in Chicago and Atlanta this week and had meet and greet packages for both stops (no I couldn't afford it, yes my bank account overdrafted whoops).

It was ammazingggg. LONG STORY AHEAD.

The question I asked was answered by Chan. Bless his heart he struggled so much to say my name and I was in the second row on the furthest side from him. I stood up and waved so he could see me. They asked how to pronounce my name and BK actually said it perfectly, I was so impressed!

The question that was chosen was "What hobby do you want to try that you haven't tried before". He said Cooking, cause he isn't good at it and Donghun won't eat his food.

When the item signing started, BK would interact with us a lot and the girls in front of us took the liberty of teaching him the phrase "Let's get this bread." His face when they explained that bread = money was priceless. Experiencing that magical moment will live with me forever since he has been saying it nonstop since then.

So since PLT I've decided my "thing" for each autograph I can get is making my dumb pun fans. Eventually I'll just have a wall of these dang things and I'm excited about it. I made one for each my friend and me. Here's mine.

The other thing I prepared for them I kept super secret because I very much wanted to see their reaction to it. I didn't post it publicly anywhere. In line with Choice teasingly referring to Junhee as a lizard much to the delight of the fandom and the rest of A.C.E while hysterically bugging Jun, I couldn't resist... I'd always wanted to give away cute things at concerts but since I'm also an asshole I used my exceptionally mediocre photoshop skills to make

These beauties.

I originally only had 150 to hand out and I was actually worried I wouldn't be able to get rid of them all. I thought people might think they're dumb and not want any. Then due to a print shop mistake I ended up with 650. Whoops.

Before the meet and greet they tell us explicitly we are not allowed to give them anything and if they catch us trying to sneak them something they'll escort us out. My plan to see their reaction was almost destroyed! But I was very graciously given permission to -show- them the card, not give it to them (don't worry. They each got two in their gift boxes).

A.C.E tends to always stand/sit in the same order, so just as I expected, Chan was up first. He understood the pun of my fan! He thought it was really cute and gave such a big reaction I was pleased. Then I showed him the card and it was even bigger. I told him it was Junhee and he full on kicked out a leg and hit the table as he laughed which made me happy. He shook my hand.

Up next was Donghun who was the most quiet. I showed him the card after he signed my fan and he asked who it was. I told him it was Jun and he laughed and probably judged me a lot but then he gave me a high five and interlaced our fingers for a moment so I didn't feel completely embarrassed. The person behind me was so excited they moved onto Donghun before Jun was ready for me so I was waiting in limbo for a few seconds.

Leader Jun in the middle, the reaction I wanted most. He signed my fan and then I put the card down for him to see. He asked who it was, he seemed surprised. I told him it was him and he laughed and tried to deny it. He asked what kind of lizard it was, I told him it was a giant day gecko because I think they're the cutest. I told him I made sure to give them some in their gift box, and that we would see him again in Atlanta. He shook my hand and then the person behind me got excited again lol.

Byeongkwan was next! This boy is an absolute doll okay? The first thing he said to me is that he liked my lipstick (it was green). He signed my fan, then I showed him the card and he was beyond stoked. He laughed so loud and even held it up to Jun pointing it out to everyone. I promised him he got two in his gift box. He asked if I made one of each member and I told him no, but promised him I would next year (me and my big mouth). He held my hand and interlaced fingers and was just so sweet until the person behind me encouraged me on again.

WOW. OKAY. So Sehyoon is my bias af I was VISIBLY SHAKING at this point and as I set my fan down it so obnoxiously tapped the table several times. He tapped his lips and pointed at mine and said "pretty". I thanked him and said it was green for "cactus". I'm not sure if he understood cause he just repeated "cactus" and cocked his head slightly before signing my fan. Then I showed him the card. He asked who it was and I said Jun. He laughed a little and then I told him he was my favorite. He had the quietest lil thank you, then took my hand in both his soft tiny bby hands and I think my brain melted cause I couldnt make eye contact anymore it was too much. Just thinking about it is making my heart hurt. (To be clear, I am in no way special, he held everyone's hand the same way).

After that, we did the pictures! I very shyly wanted to stand between BK and Wow. I didn't do anything special this time around cause the pose I wanted was done by two other people so I just asked for cute cheek pokies. They were having so much fun with people so that inspired my next photo request. As I was walking away from the photo BK told me again that he really liked my lipstick and I was over the moon.

I brought about half the cards with me to hand out hoping I wouldn't have extras and people LOVED THEM? I ran out and felt bad that I didn't bring more!

The concert was AWESOME!! They're so interactive with fans I had several moments with EACH of them, but my favorite is when Wow kicked up a heart and he saw me catch it all goofy instead of letting him hit the woah and he laughed and mimicked me. He also handed me two lollipops (I gave one to my friend) but I'm never gonna eat it.

For the hi touch Chan handed us our photo cards, and hi fived us. They were oddly out of order (chan, Donghun, BK, Wow, Jun). I managed to tell him and Donghun they did amazing, then BK told me AGAIN he still loved my lips. I was so excited I told him "it'll be BLUE next time" and he said "oh!" BUT BY DOING THAT MY DUMBASS MISSED THE CHANCE TO LOOK INTO WOW'S AND JUN'S EYES UGH I WAS SO UPSET AT MYSELF also I got yelled at by security (rightly so).

Next is Atlanta!

I started handing out cards earlier and got worried again cause there were quite a few people that weren't interested at all. Fortunately by the end of the show there were so many people wanting them I offered to do a reprint if necessary. Some people even said they were going through the hi touch holding it up which I LOVED.

Anyway, this time during the Meet and Greet I was in the front row directly in front Byeongkwan and Wow. I WAS NOT OKAY. I kept making eye contact and getting so shy ugh. Byeongkwan recognized me and tapped his lips and winked when he saw me (I was wearing blue lipstick this time). BK got my question (the interpreter said my name perfectly without me needing to tell her, I was so impressed!) I asked what concept they wanted to try that they hadn't tried yet. He said they had already done everything and I cocked my head giving him a disbelieving look. He then admitted that they hadn't done the cutesy boy concept and I lost it- I cant imagine them trying to pull that off.

For future Choice in my position- these boys have ears like BATS okay. There was one time Jun said something like "it's his choice." And I quietly said to the person next to me "no we're choice." And he looked at me and said "You're right! You're all choice!" I was shook.

Wow got asked what his favorite dessert to eat is and he said chocolate anything, then listed things "Chocolate cake. Chocolate ice cream. Chocolate rice." At this point everyone exclaims and he gets his silly lil smile and says "Chocolate fish." And everyone loses it. It was so funny and cute.

Later Jun was asked if he preferred pancakes or waffles and it was a really hard question for him. He said he had been eating more pancakes since coming to the US but he liked both a lot. He just didn't like Chocolate pancakes and I said "cause Wow eats them all?" And wow just very dreamily says "Choco pancakes...." I about died.

BK was asked if he wanted to go to the aquarium and he said he really hoped to. He asked if there were beluga and everyone said yes but I said "But they have WHALE SHARKS!" which imo is the coolest thing about the Georgia aquarium. None of them seemed to know exactly what I meant but they were excited by the concept of the words "whale" and "shark" together. (Spoiler alert: The next day they totally went and got pics with the whale shark).

Finally BK asked where people recommended they eat. Someone suggested sushi at first. I thought it was funny to recommend sushi when visiting the US. BK seemed of the same mindset so chicken and waffles came up and Jun loudly said WAFFLES! To which, Wow said in his same dreamy tone "chocolate waffles" and I looked at him and said "chocolate chicken?" embarrassing the HELL out of myself cause everyone was super grossed out by it and making a scene. I hid but my friend said Wow thought it was funny. I think she was trying to make me feel better.

So the item signing time comes up. My DUMB ASS forgot my album at home so the day before I had gone on a panicked shopping spree and decided on a pot for my cactus.

Chan was up first as usual. He recognized me and asked if I was in Chicago and I said yes! He asked what the pot was and I told him it was for my cactus plant. He was so adorable, while he was signing it he said quietly "grow well." So now it has to. This time he did not do a high five with me.

Next was Donghun. He looked so confused at my pot. I told him it was for my cactus and he just kinda nodded. It was very quiet because I had tried to learn a short phrase for him in korean but I got too nervous and I couldn't say it. I just thanked him. I'll have to keep practicing.

Jun was next and also asked me if I had been in Chicago and thanked me for coming again. I told him it was my last stop but I knew they would keep doing amazing. He asked about the pot and said it was so cute and signed super big. He shook my hand.

BK was next and he complimented my lips again. I asked him if he liked the green or blue better and he said both were good. He asked about the pot and signed it for me, he said it was cute and he liked it. He high fived me when it was time to move on.

WOW. AGAIN. okay so he asked about the pot and I said it was for my cactus and he mimed planting a cactus while looking up at me and I nodded while melting cause he is SO GODDAMN CUTE OKAY. Then while he was signing it I worked up my courage cause I had tried to learn a phrase for him as well BUT I MESSED UP I MESSED UP SO BAD IT WAS BAD OKAY. He was so confused and thank GOD the interpreter was right there and she asked "what are you trying to say" and she helped me say it. I was SO EMBARRASSED I had practiced so much and was saying it SO WELL up until that moment. Once I managed he smiled and said I did good then took my hand and said something which the interpreter translated for me and I just grabbed my heart with my free hand and then had to just cover my face I couldnt handle it. Walking away was hard but staying was harder.

Of course that just put me back in my seat directly in front of him.

Dont judge me, but I was trying to say, "You're so awesome it makes my heart hurt." And his response was "Then I'll prescribe you some medicine" and I KNOW its cheesy and overdone but I wanted that moment once for me so I took my chance. Anyway I looked like a damn fool but it was over.

The last dumb thing I did as the signing went on cause we kept making random eye contact and I got self conscious of always looking away. One of the times Wow and I met eyes I winked and shot finger guns and his eyebrows raised ever so slightly and I wanted to sink into the floor and die so I hid my face again. He looked so surprised like what WAS I THINKING WHY DID I DO THAT AAAAAAAA.

Anyway.

Here's my cute cheap pot!

Next was pictures. This time I had a plan. I asked them to pose ugly with me. They were surprised and asked for clarification twice, BK even asked me in english and I said "yes, ugly faces. If you can! If it's even possible." I wonder if it's the first time theyve ever been requested to do that. Anyway that's gonna be my thing too with the punny fan from now on. They did their best and it's absolutely adorable. Afterward BK walked up to me and wanted to see the pictures I took so I showed him. After he walked away it occured to me how fun and casual that was, that he just came over to look at pics together. I love this boy so much damb.

The atlanta show was amazing but the stage was so high up and far away there was no direct interaction possible. They made up for it with even more interaction! BK and Donghun each danced with me. I made a heart with my friend and Chan winked and laughed cause it looked like she begrudgingly made the heart with me when in reality she just couldnt hear me and couldnt tell what I was asking. Wow played a heart escalating game with me and he won so I made a dumb cute face and he laughed.

At hi touch I was determined not to miss Wow again. The order was the same except Donghun and Chan switched. I told them they did really amazing, a great show! Then BK said "Best lips!" To me and I got so excited but still didnt want to miss Wow, I loudly repeated "Best Lips!" While making eye contact and high fiving this poor man so hard, then for Jun I said "Don't forget!" And he was just so unprepared for me because I was unprepared for me but I WAS SO HYPED UP I LOST MY LAST BRAINCELL ITS STILL IN ATLANTA GUYS ITS GONE FOREVER.

So anyway that was a lot of unnecessary details about my specific adventures with A.C.E and I loved them so much and maybe one person will read this and smile but mostly I just want to try and remember as much detail as possible. I'll add things as I remember if I forgot something. Anyway dont be like me hahahaHAHAHA.

Also highkey if BK or one of the boys ends up with a bold lipstick color for a comeback or promotions in the next year or so I'm taking full credit.

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minijeong · 5 years ago

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Kudos to you for sleeping, even if it is 8:30am!!! Thank you so much for your incredible hard work this comeback, it's so amazing to have you as a content creator and I know that you're doing tons of work that we aren't seeing on tumblr for izone fans on other platforms. I legit was not expecting to be so emotional about this comeback but I WAS and I love Iz*one so much, my heart feels like it'll burst. Can we get more of your thoughts on the comeback? Thank you so much for everything.

thanks for your support as always! tbh i was so sure i was gonna sleep instead of staying up bc i went out the entire day... but i couldnt stop thinking about izone...

honestly theres a point in time for kpop groups when they begin to evolve from idols to artists... and i feel like that is starting to happen to izone

im honestly so freaking happy about fiesta because it’s so much more than i imagined it would be. tbh usually when fans freak out about the dance i cant really trust it most of the time, but after seeing wizone reactions to the showcase on twt i really wanted to believe... and im so glad that they delivered

their dancing feels so genuine to me and it feels like theyre all on the same page and there isnt a single member throwing off the balance and they all have the same fire and intention in their eyes. i dont know how to explain it but my heart can feel how much they value respect and take seriously the stage and the music and the fans. and this honestly reflects back into the people that work with them; the staff, videographers, stylists, etc. the video editing was amazing for mv. the outfits were perfect for the dance both visually and as well for comfort for dancing (the boots are comfy to dance in... much better than violeta shoes).

can you imagine how much further they’ll continue to grow if theyve already improved and achieved this much in this amount of time?

before i go into small and random thoughts i had imma end it off and say

stream fiesta and listen to my baby’s ballad thx for coming to my ted talk

small random things i noticed:

yenas dancing is absolutely stunning. she always jokes around and get called a joker and a bluffer and then yuri laughs and says yena needs more practice... but to be able to convey through dance and performance at this level you need to think a LOT and work A LOT i love her

eunbi got given parts that made use of her vocal range and her voice came out so strong... and spaceship made me feel things

there are small parts in the choreo that are “between moves” but they keep focus and also kept that clean... they really went to that level of detail...

ahn yujins growth is freaking scary... and she learned how to dance as a tall person to match short members (this is actually a skill LOL i got yelled at in practice for like 4 months straight for it until i learned)

chaeyeon can include head parts in choreography while keeping the camera’s intention is kind of super insane

im worried for some of their knees in that one leg down part (except for chaewon and yujin who are v stable)

when hitomi did textures in her part i fking cheered my heart out even though it was one second LOL

ive never felt an idol step on my so hard until chaewon’s first part when she threw down and stomped girl GET IT. she also looks down on u like ur a piece of shit i love it we love our swearing girl crush legend

i dont know how two people are able to share a dance break when the formation stays the same and they dont share centre but chaewon and chaeyeon did it

yuri at 4s going down wow

there are times when cheonjae ahn yujin really slows her moves down and takes her time and makes us feel it and i love that

theres a part where they throw their arms up and yujin is in the centre and she doesnt throw her arms up all the way to match everyone elses arm height and that was peak intellectual

whoever izones choreographer is theyve been respecting the music since forever and i appreciate that

theres always one idol in a group that doesnt hold the camera long enough at the end of their part and izone used to have that as well but it doesnt happen anymore wtf

the dance lets eunbi show off her strength rather than going for elegance and i think she slapped me a few times and bonked me with her hips a few times but i encourage that

i love yujinnies hair

hitomis stage presence improved so much i freaking love her

i want yena fancam shes so good

u might be wondering why i care about textures so much but textures are THE thing that kpop always lacked which thus took away the meaning from the dance. u cant always punch and u cant always make things soft and izone GETS IT

chaeyeon dancing looks so happy and that makes me happy

little main vocal nako is my love

wonyoungs vocal improvement is crazy

the way yuri says hwalryeohan in her chorus ohmygoodness

yena’s chorus in spaceship where she showed us vocal prowess by not going falsetto on the high note

yuri spacebuns

mombi in denim

dimple aegyo yujin in spaceship bridge

the way sakura manipulated me into giffing her first

the way my heart screams CUTE whenever i see nako

the thing on yuris ear idk what it is but it cool

that entire choreo is a left butt workout LOL

the way yena runs up to the centre in spaceship chorus

eunbi slapped me again

miyawaki sakura readjusting her positioning at the end to make a perfect diagonal without sacrificing the dance is classic miyawaki pro behaviour

how is minju’s smile so perfect... esp in her first part...

the way yuri smiles in spaceship but also the way yuri smiles in ayayaya

izone makes their own genre its not cute its not girlcrush its everything mixed together and anything you could possibly want it to be i dont make the rules it just happened this way

#quillium #that was a lot longer than i thought it would be #but ive been like this for the past 12 hours LOL #m #thanks for stopping by #replies

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shireness-says · 5 years ago

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I didn’t win your contest. And that’s ok. But I was wondering if you might give some insight about Love Amongst the Snowflakes. I really want to know how a bodyguard and a princess date. Did they create a position for Killian that would be acceptable to the public? He couldnt remain as Leo’s protector right? Do they get married? Do they get a happily ever after? I just...Im a health care worker who is struggling right now. And for some reason, I just really want to know if that CS did ok.

Oh hey there! It warms my heart that you’re so invested in this version of CS.

Good news for you: there is already a sequel for that in the works! Entirely separately from this giveaway. There is absolutely finagling about his job, but they absolutely do get a happily ever after. There will also be little snippets into:

How do you “meet the parents” if you’ve already met the parents?

Long-distance texting (sexting? we’ll see)

More tiaras

Killian has a love/hate relationship with the public, particularly when he just wants to move in together, dammit

Possible wedding? (Never fear - they definitely do get married and have their happily ever after, it’s just a matter of whether I can find the words to write anything wedding-related)

I hope that brought you a little happiness - feel free to message me if you like, though this is all very much in the planning stages right now and I’m not sure I have much more to tell lol.

It feels incredibly out of touch to tell you to look out for your mental health right now, but I hope you’re able to find even a few minutes to take a deep breath and be ok.

#sweet nonnie nonnie #shireness speaks #Anonymous

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nightmaretyrantvantas · 5 years ago

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Sleepless nights and a shift in character developments- A homestuck au strider story

I wrote this during a bout of insomnia(partially caused by excitement) and I couldnt stop thinking about it

@turing-tested This comes from one of the MANY things I babbled about this character, so if you see this you might recognize it.

Im going to post more about this character soon its just alot to compile for one post-at least 5 years worth or development and passion so bear with me please

Note before reading : This is in the best put terms, an au epilogue i made before homestuck even finished, and the only thing accurate to any current epilogues is the canon kids ages.

This is long and gets a bit dark and emotional and angsty but I promise it has a happier ending. It also glosses over some heavier themes like mentions and brief discussions of nonspecified eating disorders, so if that makes you uncomfortable you can skip this

enjoy

whrrz….whrzz…..whrrzz….

The damn clock ticking was endless. The figure tossed and turned restlessly on the bed, kicking and pulling up the cotton sheets as they ceiling fan lazily spun uncaringly from above. After another bout of struggling for comfort there was a glance at the nearby digital clock

2:45 a.m

“Goddammit……”

With a angry groan the girl fell heavily onto her back and dragged her hands down her face, staring up at the ceiling with exhaustion. This just kept happened to her, ever since she and all her friends and people she gave any shits about crashed here in a new world. No matter what she did she could never get a full nights sleep, plagued by either ruthless insomnia or vicious night terrors. Pick your poison a night. It didnt matter what the 19 year old did really, nothing eased it. And so she stared at the bedroom ceiling and the spinning fan hopelessly before she finally dragged herself up into a sitting position, head hung low. Even with moonlight streaming in blue light things felt too dark. So one tired Dian Strider fumbled her hand around the room and turned on tv on the other side of the room, wincing and squinting as its bright changing light filled her room. She glanced back at the clock and grimaced at the two minutes that had passed. Then she shut her eyes and listened, muting the tv. The apartment was quiet….too quiet…

Her eyes snapped back open, a new look of anxiety crossing her face.

“ Hes not back yet….its Wednesday…hes late…” She shook her head and looked at the wall by her bed, at the pinned up pages of scribbles hanging there contently

WEDNESDAY : RETURNS BY 1 AM

Now she as on her feet and pacing around on fragile boned legs, absently gnawing on the scarred knuckle of her index finger. Her thoughts drifted and tumbled through her sleep deprived brain worriedly, though she wouldnt admit it aloud just yet.

Dirk wasnt home yet. He shouldve been home by now. But hes not….is he?

She stopped and looked at her bedroom door, unlocked and fully capable of opening and revealing the knowledge she wanted to know, all outside her little space.

But could she handle opening it?

With a new look of tired firmness she padded barefoot across the carpet and opened her door as silently as she could. If he WAS back she didnt want to wake him up. And there it is illuminated by the light in her room and the gently dim moonlight from the staircase and hallway window : Dirk’s bedroom door, firmly closed. She took a few light steps and Dia was now in front of it, hand grazing the doorknob as doubts made her pause. Sure, she had been living with him for almost 5 months now, and sure he had been more than welcoming and generous in his…weird stoic and socially avoident tendencies and eccentricities. Dia couldn look passed those, who was a shattered and violently anti social and mistrusting girl to judge the man who gave her and her little brother a roof to sleep under and a home to call their own when he had absolutely no obligation to? The answer was she wasnt anyone to judge him.

Not after he let her take on his last name to ease some of the trauma.

But were they really close enough to give her the right to just….turn the knob and open his door as if she was really family?

‘ Yes. we…we are? God i dont really know…But Hal gave me an ok to do so if I needed to talk or got too anxious…he said Dirk doesnt mind me leaning on him a little…so…this should be fine…to just peek in and see if hes in there…even if hes not asleep…I can just make some excuse about…fuck…anything…’ With a metaphorical slap to the face and a small huff of “ Just do it already dia stop being a pansy its just Dirk” she tightened her grip with more false confidence and turned it, slowly pushing it open just enough to poke her head in…

Just to find it empty.

She blinked and her shoulders slumped in disappointment. He wasnt there, which mean he just…probably wasnt home yet.

So she re shut the door without venturing further and walked over to the stairs that led down to the first floor and front of the apartment and ended up slumped across one of the sturdy steps, glaring at the wall upset and exhausted….so exhausted that her eyes fell without her realizing…letting her drift into an uneasy sleep….

And fell straight into a unrelenting nightmare.

She was forced out of it by the sound of something slamming downstairs followed by a thump she didnt register. Because she was sitting straight up shaking violently and tearing up, fingers digging painfully into her arms as she hugged herself, breathing too fast. She looked around like a cornered animal until she was able to calm down a little, her surroundings settling back into her mind. But that slam…

Dia was on her feet gasping for breath a little as she stumbled down the rest of the stairs and out into the living room, tripping on her own two feet in her panic. She felt so small and alone and alone was the one thing she didnt want to be for a little while–

And all the spinning in her head stopped when she saw him.

He was sprawled out not all that gracefully on the beat up grey couch, one of his arms hanging off as his legs dangled over the arm. His blonde hair, much lighter than hers was a damp mess of spikes from being outside in the misty rain of before dawn that plastered against his forehead and into his uncovered, shut eyes. On his hand against his chest were his sharp shades, a dim and fading red glow slowly going out on them, a clear indicating Hal was asleep. She watched his chest rise and fall rhythmically and deeply, indicating he was already fast asleep. She figured it was from the past couple all nighters he’d pulled, between work his own projects and his nightly outings. Dia watched him sleep for a few moments then quietly walked over to his side, noting the familiar bags of insomnia under his eyes even in the dim lighting Silently she sighed and walked over to another chair in the room and grabbed a two blankets off it, a soft knitted one Dave left here from someone she was had met two times now named Rose and a thicker fabric quilt thing Dirk’s had since before she arrived, mentioned by Hal to have been a apartment warming present from friends named Jane and Roxy. She carried them over to him and with a wobbly stance and some struggling to not wake him or Hal up draped the quilt over his body, making sure it wasnt awkwardly on him.

Then Dia wrapped the knitted blanket around herself and plopped down on the floor next to his side, facing him and watched over him for awhile.

It wasnt anything special or life changing to her at first. She just…her brain was in a dark place and right now, The man before her was a very real and very present and constant reminder of the good in her situation. She was out of that hellscape, she was free.

She was safe and in a better place. Next to him the these early hours of the morning on the living room floor nothing bad from her past could hurt her or reach her. And that was all she needed.

So Dia made herself more comfortable and leaned on the couch in the space next to his chest and side and leaned her head against the quilt covered space until it barely, just barely pressed up against said bodily area as her body curled and folded into a comfortable spot doing so and her tired clementine eyes drowsily watched the movement of his breathing and the distant tick of a far off clock until she didnt even notice herself falling fast asleep at his side, nightmareless for the first time in months.

‘ Dirk…dirk wake up already.’

‘Dirk I know you can still hear me, wake up’

It was irritatingly bright with the morning sun when Dirk finally pried his eyes open, squinting up in pain at the ceiling. God was he fucking regretting passing out on the couch right now. So he quietly unfolded his only small salvation from the light and slid the shades over his orange eyes, blinking the exhaustion from them after with a yawn.

‘ nngh….Hal buddy you on already?’ He got an immediate, if not amused answer that made him practically imagine the body motion and expression that shouldve accompanied it. He couldnt help but smile a little and crack his neck in an attempt to ease the stiffness….god he needed a new damn couch.

‘ Dirk…dirk look down.’ He quirked an eyebrow but didnt even get a chance to ask

Because he moved his hanging arm and brushed against another solid mass that made him look down anyway.

He didnt dare move for a few moments when he saw Dia curled up beside him on the floor, his hand having brushed against the slim girl’s too bony arm. But didnt wake up, only shifted slightly as her head burrowed into his side a bit, looking more relaxed than he’d ever really seen her.

‘ When did she…?’

‘ I am not sure. she was already there asleep when I first started up this morning. I can only assume shes been there since we got home.’ He dragged a hand through his hair as he looked over her and carefully moved his arm so he didnt wake her up.

Dirk decided not to sit up or move from the couch yet either.

‘ She almost looks happy…’

“ Yeah… I know. Too bad she doesnt always look like this…’ There was a silence between them and Dirk sighed through his nose.

‘…im going to make breakfast.’ Was the only thing Dirk finally said before carefully getting up and heading to the kitchen. ‘ Oh? Thats a first for you…you normally skip breakfast.’ Dirk didnt respond right away, scavenging the simple, cluttered kitchen for anything to cook and scrunching his nose a little when he wasnt really finding anything.

‘ Dirk you KNOW there hasnt been any grocery restocking since you started your latest project…’ He groaned and pressed his forehead against the freezer door and stayed quiet for another moment, gears in his head turning and things lining up in his head. Hal didnt try prodding him too much for an answer. He knew the human too well by now, Dirk was working something out in his head. And on top of that he had barely been awake maybe twenty minutes after a total of maybe four or five hours of sleep, doing three all nighters before that. So Hal wasnt quick to call Dirk all to responsive lately.

Maybe he should contact Jane after all to get him into a healthier…well…anything.

“ ….I really didnt want to go outside this early…but if the kid will be asleep for awhile…hmm…”

‘ Hmm what?’ The blonde shook his head a little and rubbing an eye with the palm of his hand as if forcing the drowsiness away.

“ Hey Hal….mind messaging Dave for me and asking when he’s planning to come back home from Karkat’s this week?” ‘…alright Dirk I am, anything else?’ Hal asked, a bit sympathetic at the exhaustion in his voice. He knew Dirk didnt like to bother Dave with too much, especially when the younger strider stayed with them specifically to make sure Dirk took care of himself. He wanted him to live his own damn life without worrying about him, and so didnt ask him when he was coming back or how long he’d stay.

“…yeah. Ask him if its today and if he could possibly grab some groceries on his way home…” There was a silence but Hal told him he would and Dirk’s shoulders slumped when they got the reply that Dave would show up in about a half hour, and asking for a general list or if he should just wing it.

Dirk said to just wing it. He wasnt picky right now.

Dia hadnt woken up by the time Dirk pulled on a decently cleaner shirt and his shoes, though she had shifted somewhat. He was a little relieved, she’d been sleeping worse than him recently and any rest was good rest. Yeah…it was was all he concluded as he slipped outside into the bright sunlight and sat on the stoop step that led into the apartment, absently gazing over the city lost in thought.

“ Yo Dirk.” He glanced down to see Dave coming up the steps in casual clothing, face mostly neutral as he carried up two big bags of food. Dirk saw the slightly furrowed brows and the way his mouth tugged down in concern and heaved a sigh, standing and walking down to take one of the bags.

“ Gotta be quiet when you go in, the kid’s fast asleep in the living room and I kinda want her to stay that way. Where’s Derik?” Dave shrugged as he followed him up.

“ He was video calling Jay when Hal pestered me, so I left him be and came alone.” He got a nod as they walked in, Dave raising an eyebrow seeing Dia on the floor but not voicing the question.

Dirk probably didnt move her so she’d sleep longer. He knew she had issues with being touched.

Though when they entered the kitchen his eyebrows furrowed again.

“ Dirk when was the last time you cleaned the damn apartment? You’ve got shit lying everywhere again it wasnt like this when I was here last.” The older man shrugged as he shoved junky clutter out of the way and replaced it with the bag of food, not exactly wanting to answer. The knight sighed and resisted any urges to smack the other person he considered family. Because goddamn was it hard to resist when he was falling back into bad habits and going back on months of progress being made.

“ You know what? Dont worry about it Dirk. I’ll help you pick up later or something since I’m here. Lets just get all the food put away and make something to eat, because damn am I starved and Im sure she will be too once she actually wakes up.” Dirk mumbled an agreement and started putting things away and setting stuff up to cook…something, anything.

“ So…what is with the sudden desire to make breakfast? Hal and I usually have to force you not to skip it.” Dave wasnt really expecting an answer, To be honest neither was Hal at that point. Dirk was clearly in a more antisocial mood and that was fine really, but the silence was making the shorter blonde…twitchy. Maybe he just wasnt used to it anymore, when he considered half the time he stayed with Karkat further out of the city in a house that was distinctly more…energetic with two teenagers running around living with them. He had thought having Dia here might break him out of that but she could be just as bad as he was honestly, a sometimes too perfect match in their isolation habits.

He was thinking about it so much he almost missed Dirk’s reply, turning towards him blinking.

“ Wait wha–” “ I said I’m not doing it for me…im making food for Dia.” There was a moment of a much more fragile silence and dirk pulled off Hal and set him on the counter, gripping it with both hands as he stared tiredly at the wall and cabinets in front of him, his eyes a bit distant as if he was seeing something else entirely Dave couldnt. He sighed heavily and continued with a low tone that sounded like he was trying to stay neutral, unemotional about it.

“ She doesnt eat enough. Coming from me already is a big deal but, I…Im almost positive she has some sort of eating disorder Dave. One she just wont tell me about. But I see the signs of it all over her. The underweight, the fragility of her whole body, the fatigue, the way she tries to avoid eating as much as possible, the way she hides herself away after meals…but I cant push her either because well fuck. What place do I have to really say anything? I’m not blood related, I’ve only known her about 5 months and ive barely tried to get to know her that much or get close to her but she’s grown on me a little and im worried one of these days her insomnia and her lack of eating are going to do her off right under my nose and there’ll be no one to blame but myself for not looking out for her enough. Like fuck,” His nails scrapped along the counter as his fingers curled in frustration. “ Im a goddamn wreck half the time and she’s almost worse than me and I just…I dont even know. The kid deserves better than that? She probably deserves alot better than staying up at night waiting and worrying when I’m going to get home and falling asleep on the goddamn floor and–maybe…maybe I should’ve had Roxy or Jane take her instead. Or even Jake. Somewhere where’d she’d-she’d get help for her issues, not a place to let them fester.” The air was heavy as he finished, his shoulders slumped in defeat and his head hung as if it had become too much to stay up on its own, eyes screwed close in a frustrated kind of pain. Dave was a little speechless, he knew Dirk felt a little responsible for Dia and part of that mightve been from himself but…He didnt know.

He shouldve known though.

“ Dirk…Jesus Dirk why didnt you mention any of this sooner? If you’ve been so worried you could just tell me and I’d help you.” He moved closer and put a hand on his shoulder, pushing up his shades and leaning over to try to look the older man in the eyes.

“ Dirk cmon dont shut me out now after that damn word vomit of you actually opening up. You are not shutting down on me, hell no. You opened your own floodgates and we’re going to swim through what the fuck you released together and work this out because clearly help is needed right now. If it wasnt you wouldnt have asked me to come back out of nowhere, and we wouldnt be having an emotional brotherly moment in the middle of your shitty kitchen at nine in the goddamn morning with the kid you’re clearly worried about dead asleep on your living room floor. So, lets talk ok?” With another tired sigh Dirk nodded as they kept cooking, neither noticing the thin figure slip away upstairs to shower.

After Dave left things were awkward. The two sat at Dirk’s kinda crappy dining table with a non microwaved meal in front of them both poking at it in silence. By the time they both decided they were done the house apartment felt delicate and tense. But regardless Dia holed up in her room for the rest of the evening to prepare for another fitful night and around ten Dirk pulled on his shoes and headed out.

Dia checked the clocked a couple hours later, noting tiredly that it was only ten past midnight. So she simply rolled over to face the wall and shut her eyes, trying to shut off her brain. It almost worked too…

Click.

Her eyes snapped open and she lifted her head to look towards the door briefly confused, almost assuming she was hearing things. She glanced at the clock again. 12:13 am. She rubbed her eyes and slowly sat up.

“ No way…I heard him leave at ten…and he usually doesnt come back until at least two on thursday…” She listened for a moment to make sure, and sure enough there was the sound of shuffling downstairs, slowly coming up the stairs. When she heard Dirk’s bedroom door open she got up and shuffled over to her own peeking out of her door to see his back. Before she could stop herself she made a noise to announce her presence and Dirk paused, looking back at her. There was a moment where they both stared at each other as she briefly panicked at the fact she started this conversation.

“ y..you’re back pretty early tonight…” She almost visibly cringed at herself as he gave a small shrug.

“ Didnt feel like being out for long tonight…besides, keeps some anxieties down if im not gone too late.” She stood up straighter and looked up at him stunned. He…he came home early…so she wouldnt worry? Her mind flashed to the morning before and something warm filled her chest. She nodded and murmured that she appreciated it and swore she saw a smile on his face before he continued into his room.

“ Hey um…” She saw him pause again and she took a nervous breath. She wasnt used to this, but…

“ I um…im not that picky when it comes to food…but I dont mind spicy foods, as long as its not deathly spicy. I’m also willing to try most things put out for me to eat at least once…so I’ll at least try to eat most meals…” She glanced back up to see him nod, a small smile now clear on his face.

“ Alright kiddo, I’ll keep that in mind. Try to go to bed before sunrise.” She nodded back and slipped back into her room, somehow feeling a little lighter.

The next couple weeks after that were different for them both. At first it was hard to describe, but things were less stiff so to say. They both came out of theyre rooms more for meals together and…just talked. The talks were awkward as hell at first, but the more they did the more she looked forward to meal time, and the less she dreaded eating. Even though she struggled to open up to the older man she could still find things to talk about. At some point she started cooking again, which she hadn’t done since she took care of her little brother, over five months ago. Dia started when she noticed Dirk skipping meals, lost in his work.So…she started making things and leaving them for him with a reminder to eat. And once his portion was gone she ended up eating what was left for herself, the portion being enough to not make her feel too guilty most nights.

But things were on a better track, Hal pointed out as much one night as Dirk slipped back into the apartment as the clock read 1:00 am. Dirk raised an eyebrow and got a bit of a half smile. “ oh yeah? You really think so huh?”

‘ Yes I do actually. You havent noticed? She’s opening up to us both more than she has in months.’ Dirk nodded with a hum as he made his way to the stairs, listening to hear if Dia was moving about and noticed it was quiet. Maybe for once she managed to fall asleep.

‘ You know, you two are alot alike, at least with your issues and and some of your traumas.’ Dirk paused halfway up the stairs and tilted his head as he thought about it, not exactly responding. But Hal continued on.

‘ I think at this point, the best course of action for you both would be for you two to try having a deeper conversation. It would benefit you both greatly to try discussing and sympathizing over your similar issues. At the very least it would help you both open up more, something we both know is very needed in this apartment.’ He…couldnt really argue with that one.

“ Ya know what? fuck it why not. I’m not going to push her too much but…I’ll give it a shot.”

And he did. When he saw her at breakfast he motioned for her to listen and took a deep breath through his nose, preparing for the worst. He vividly remembered how she could lash out when she felt cornered or afraid, and that was the last thing he wanted.

So he tried as gently as he could, following some of Hal’s advice and the advice of Rose who he’d talked about this with much earlier in the morning for ideas to approach the subject…delicately. He even vaguely put some of his smaller issues on the table first, made them vulnerable which made Hal rather proud of him for.

“ Look Dia…I get it ok? I get the not wanting to talk to anyone about it and the need to be strong and unbreakable. But I also know how that can fuck you up even more. It has for me for years…and…I’ve lost trust with close friends because of it. I did things I still dont forgive myself for trying to bottle it up.” She listened and nodded. Then Dia looked down and touched one of her scarred knuckles and took a deep breath. Then she looked up with an expression he hadnt seen before, it was tired and sad and vulnerable. Suddenly she looked like her age, a broken and exhausted 19 year old who’d been suffering on her own for too long, and he watched her shoulders droop as she spoke as if a weight was starting to lift off them.

“ I…I-I have alot wrong with me Dirk…maybe too much to be fixed…so much you may not want to bother with me if you knew everything…I’m…Im beyond screwed up and I cant even eat anymore without trying to loss the nonexistent weight it brings…I…I’ve done too much I dont deserve this I dont…” She trailed off and Dirk reached out and hesitantly, understandingly placed his hand on her wrist, making her look him in the eyes.

“ Why dont we start by just being screwed up together kid? You arent alone in it anymore…and about the eating, we can work on that first and get you started on recovery however you need it. But lets start small and see how we survive it.” She smiled a little and nodded, relaxing.

“ Yeah, ok.”

A few nights later Dia was tossing and turning again after waking up from another nightmareThis time a light rain drummed on the roof from a small passing storm. She looked at the clock and glared at the two am glaring back at her before sitting up and pulling on her hoodie. Maybe…

She got up and walked over to her door and stepped out, looking at Dirk’s door and expecting him to be out. But what she saw instead was a soft light coming from under the door, signifying he was still home and awake. With a deep breath she walked over and raised her hand to knock, only to pause and stare at the wood. She started doubting her right to interrupt him when their last talk flashed to mind. He had opened up to her a little and she had done the same, they had shared a moment and she felt…closer to him. She didnt feel like a burden as much.

So with more confidence than she had she grabbed the handle and turned it, letting the light wash over her warmly as she gazed at his back, sitting at his desk across the room making something. She only hesitated for a moment before her body relaxed and she smiled a little, taking a step in.

“ H-hey Dirk…I cant sleep…do you mind if I hang in here for awhile?”

She shut the door behind her when she saw him smile while declaring she can have his bed since he’ll be up awhile longer.

She fell into a peaceful sleep that night, feeling safe and at home.

End

Tadaaaa, this took a long while to write but I hope it was worth the wait! And I hope you guys like it!

taglist

@phantommoonpeople @turing-tested

#My writing #homestuck #Homestuck AU #homestuck oc #dirk strider #dave strider #dirk fanfiction #homestuck fanfic #long fic #hal strider #karkat mention

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