#i was ready to k¡ll

[lemonpastrys]

as a gift to u every time i want to do a tag rant im going to rb this and do it under this 🫶 <3

(wrote a tag rantpost below but THE TAGS ARE LIMITED NOW???? 30 TAGS REACHED I CANT WRITE ANYMORE WHAT IS THIS SORCERY)

NEVER apologize for leaving long tags when you reblog from me. i am reading it like its my daily newspaper in the morning. idc if idk shit about what ur talking about, its like checking out the gossip from the next town over

[semperamans]

all i can think about is soft!benny :'(

benny who doesn't give a fuck when the boys hoot and holler and give him shit whenever you're within ten feet of one another. benny who tips his chin, fights a smile, and docks his jaw atop your head as you stand in front of him while cal prattles on about stacking donuts on his dick. benny who tugs you into his lap at any and every opportunity because he wants you close close close. benny who let you paint his nails because you asked so nicely. benny who promises each time he leaves your sight that he'll return. benny who helps you slide into his jacket; who grabs the lapels and presses a kiss on your nose before letting you go. benny who takes you on late-night rides because you told him you couldn't see the stars for the light pollution. benny who doesn't talk, not much, but never hesitates to whisper a firm "i love you." in your ear when he gets the chance. benny who smiles so warmly at you when you're rambling because jesus christ you're the most darling thing he's ever laid eyes on. benny who knows this life is dangerous and wants to protect you. benny who laces your fingers together in crowds. benny who stands outside of bathrooms whenever you and your girlfriends are in there. benny who lets you be you. who loves you in the most purest of ways because you love him. benny :'(

[solarwynd]

jin is so passive aggressive towards jimin, what's up with him using jimin's birthday to promote his next flop song and still saying that jimin's birthday isn't important and that jimin should be grateful that he's celebrating since jimin isn't there like dude shut up you fake snake

If he didn’t think it was important he would’ve never mentioned it or Jimin and went straight into announcing that song instead of bringing out a decorated cake and a banner for him.

The whole thing screams a typical Jin gag. Almost cartoonishly so.

[lgbtlunaverse]

I think apologism is fun and sexy but sometimes you see people defend a character in a way that is not just wrong but antithetical to the character's actual motivations and moral framework like girl. Not even the guy you're defending thinks you're right. You are getting fired as his defense lawyer and sued for misrepresentation.

[bearchived]

when  james  goes  “you  just  had  to  push  it,  didn’t  you?”  and  beard  just  nodded  -

[kuralace]

Captive in the dark.

Summary: A hypothetical thought; you've always wondered what it felt like to only feel. And to not see. But to Sylus's understanding, he may have taken it into a.. suggestive way.

Warnings: Smut with no plot sort of , Blindfold, petnames, fluff, praise kink if you squint

You were sitting on the bed of the penthouse, as Sylus sits on the side of the bed. The silence was deafening so you decided to say something.. hypothetical and totally random. " Sy, have you ever wondered what it's like to feel and not to see? " You spouted, Sylus looks at you dumbfounded as he actually thought of the question. " No.. at least as far as I remember. "

You nod of awkwardness as his mouth curled upward. " Do you want to know, Sweetie? " Curious about what he said, you nodded reluctantly. What could he mean by that, and of course being the curious lady you are. You wanted to know how Sylus took your statement.

" Close your eyes, sweetie. " He said, his voice hoarse as you did what he told you. You closed your eyes slowly as you felt a pair of soft fabric on your eye. " Wha- " you were cut off by Sylus shushing you. " Lay back down, let me take care of you. " You then realized what he was about to do at the last minute as you felt your clothes being removed piece by piece. " Sy-! " You yelped as you felt the cold air coming in contact with your exposed cunt; nipples hardening at the cold air. You felt his slender fingers sliding its way to your wet folds. " S-Sy, mhmp- wait! " You protest, this was not what you were expecting. " You continue to protest, Kitten. Yet you're aroused? " He chuckled darkly as he placed a finger into your dripping hole. Pushing in and out as his thumb went its way to your clit, moving circles on it.

" O-oh, fuck! S-sy! " You moaned as you attempted to clutch on his biceps. Your legs practically shaking from how deep his fingers were, and that they continued to hit the spots just right. The room was filled with moans and screams of pleasure soon enough. You quiver at his touch and by the time he was finished, you messed up the sheets with your slick.

" Ready? " He said as you heard him tear a condom, or you hope you did. You nod as you continued to pant, you haven't even been on the main part yet you felt so worn up. " Ah ah, words. Sweetie, I want to hear from you. " You rolled your eyes even if you know he can't see your sass. "please Sy, need you already " you whined. " Need what exactly? Be specific sweetheart. " He said, he enjoyed making you whine, and he definitely enjoyed teasing you more. " Please Sy, need you inside me. N-need your.. cock. " You said, mumbling the last part. It was already embarrassing as it is. " What did you say? I didn't quite catch that. " You swore after this, you were going to k!ll him. " Fuck.. I need your cock please Sy, it hurts already. " He hummed in approval as he slowly coated his tip with your slick. Pushing in slowly, he groaned at the tightness as you whined and held onto his back for dear life. " Fuck.. After all of the time i've fucked you, your pussy is still this tight. Hm? " When he knows you've taken enough, he continues to thrust, thrust and thrust. The room was then again filled with moans, groans and screams. You've sworn that everyone in the building could hear you screaming his name over and over again. As he thrust rhythmically. After a while, you both began to feel a knot in your stomach. " Sy! 'm gonna-! " You whined, your hand on his back as he continued to thrust into your dripping cunt. " F-fuck, oh.. you close baby? Come. Come for me, sweetie. " After a few more thrust you released the pent up knot on your stomach. He still hasn't come as he continued to pound into your sore hole. " S-so fucking tight, sweetie. 'm gonna.. " He groaned as he continued to thrust into your poor pussy. You definitely won't be going to missions tomorrow that's for sure. " S-Sy, please! " You whined as he shoots his thick, hot white liquid into you. He pulled out and threw the condom away. Taking off the blindfold he kissed your forehead as he cleaned you up and you felt your eyes close. " Rest well, sweetie. You did so good. " And at that. The night ended.

Bonus:

Luke and Kieran were hanging out on the couch of the building. As Kieran spoke. " We should invest in earplugs soon. " Kieran scoffs " Agreed " followed by Luke who was dumbfounded.

Hello Dearies~

『 🎞️ 』 It has been a while since i've showed up with a fic so enjoy some Sylus Smut! I hope you enjoyed reading the fic and I would be making more smut fics in the future or what not 👀

[zbis]

first time ; k.gv

* ˚ ✦ when a normal cuddle session with your boyfriend turns into something he didn't expect.

* ˚ ✦ minors dni : contains smut, tiny bit of overstimulation, virgin!gyuvin, experienced!reader, afab!reader, no penetration just guided(?) masturbation, implied sub gyuvin but like who knows, im a fan of the switch gyuvin community so don't k!ll me, i wrote this on a whim since i cant stop thinking about him today, not proofread just had to get this out of my head

"god you're so nervous.." you tease. you run your hand down his chest, making sure to lightly scratch him with your recently manicured nails. "i-im not" he huffs, clearly worked up.

you chuckle at his conviction. "why is your heart beating so fast then?" you hum, tracing back up to where his heart is. you can clearly feel it.

"i swear im not nervous- just-" he grunts. "excited.. i guess." your eyebrow quirks up at what he admits. "have you wanted this for a while then? wanted me to be on top of you like this?" you trace around his nipple and tug at it cheekily. his breath shakes as he breathes out.

"maybe.."

he doesn't give you an in this time.

"you don't have to play hard to get you know, we're practically already there right now~" you sigh. "yeah but I've never.." he looks away, embarrassed.

he knows that before him you were already sexually active but gyuvin has barely even felt the touch of a woman before you came along. "just do whatever feels right, do whatever you want." you urge.

with your prompting he sits up, the tent in his pants is so obvious and tight. the flannel he was wearing is partially unbuttoned and practically falling off at this point. earlier it had been all fun and games, playfully making out and giving each other light kisses here and there. gyuvin never thought it would progress this much.

his breathing is heavy as he looks you up and down. you looked so hot to him. your hair is all over the place but in a controlled chaos kind of way. your shirt, just like his, is pretty much falling off your shoulders and since it was hot in his room, you took the liberty of taking off your pants and only wearing one of his baggy shirts. "woah.." he breaths. if it was even possible he felt his erection get even tighter. "can you come here?" he tentatively asks.

you crawl over to him and sit on his lap. "shit-" he grits. "what now?" you want him to take control but you realize you might have to guide him through everything, which you don't mind. "i- maybe im not ready to put it in but.." he pauses, looking down at how you are situated on his lap. "maybe you can jack me off?" his ears go red at what he just said. "or something.." he mutters.

you smile at him while taking his cock out of his sweats and sitting back a bit. "don't be so embarrassed gyuv" you stroke his dick slowly, trying to spread the precum around the length of it. "can't help it" he mumbles and hisses. "ah! faster-" he lets out a choked moan. your hands feel cold around him.

his moans are so pretty and thankfully he doesn't hold back.

his head falls forward and he buries it into your shoulder. his left hand grips your arm tightly as his right one trails down and envelopes your tinier one that holds his length. "like this" he groans out. he pumps his cock at a faster pace than how you'd been doing, almost as if he were demonstrating how he masturbates. "fuuck" he moans.

all that can be heard in his room is his moans and some lewd wet sounds. "ah...ah..i-i might come right now, "he rasps into your shoulder. "come then," you whisper. he helps you jerk him off harder, rutting closer to your hips. soon enough you feel him bite down on your shoulder and moan loudly into your ear.

you feel some liquid drip down your hand and look down as he pants and shakes a bit. "k-keep-" his voice cracks when you play with the head and cum continues to shoot out and drip down your hand. "gyuv-" "fuck!" he cuts you off, wincing and groaning as he bucks his hips up a bit.

it takes him a couple minutes to recover but once he does, he looks down pathetically and goes back to burying his head in your shoulder. "sorry" he mumbles. you realize he's apologizing not only for getting you dirty but also for biting you quite harshly. "its ok" you chuckle.

"shit i should clean up, its all over yo-" you stop him and help him lay down. "lets just lay down here for a sec ok?" it comes out like a command than a suggestion but he takes it. somehow you guys end up falling asleep and you have to laugh at how despite still being a virgin this little session made gyuvin look so rejuvenated in the morning.

[binniesbooks]

heyyy!! congratulations on your first fic! loved every bit of it. so i have a request and it’s a bit of a long one so be prepared:

beomgyu has basically been hitting the gym recently and you can evidently tell that he’s been bulking up a bit. while he’s a the gym one time, the reader is taking a nap but ends up having a wet dream on riding beomgyu’s newly formed abs and whilst she’s dreaming of this she’s humping the bed irl and ends up cumming just from this which wakes her up to see beomgyu staring at her from the doorway. beomgyu then fucks the reader real hard and he also lets her ride he abs lost workout as if he had seen her dream where she cums/squirts in his abs (if you’re comfortable writing it if not that’s okay too).

hope you made it to the end cos this one is quite long and specific :)

can’t wait to read more of your fics!

• RIPPED AND READY

BG 001 .F23 2024

wc 2.6k

pairings bff!beomgyu x fem!reader

warnings unprotected sex, lot of curses again, squirting, abs riding (+anything I've missed)

faye's note First of all thank you so much for reading and enjoying my first ever fic. ㅠㅠ To be honest, I wasn't expecting anything that much when I started this blog, but now? I'm loving the hell out of it! Please enjoy this too, thank you again! And oh, please do not worry if you are dropping specific elements on your request, it'll help me come up with a brighter idea I guess. And also, I'm apologizing at this very moment for not being able to expand it more >_<

"Hey, I'll hit the gym with Taehyun again later, but I think we will be going earlier than usual. We planned to drag Soobin hyung along with us." Beomgyu announced after knocking on your open door.

You turned around from your seat to face your best friend as you pulled your earphones out. "Hmm, is that so? Then I'll just hoard the snacks in the kitchen to myself." You answered, chuckling as you turned off the video playing on your computer which he responded with a playful roll in his eyes.

"You should be the one being dragged to the hell pit of the gym, not your cousin." He joked, accusingly. You frown as you pull your shirt to your back for it to hug your waist showing him the perfect curve of your body. "Excuse me but, I may not be hitting the gym, I am more than good than my lanky cousin." You bite back. "Consider yourself lucky that I am not going to the gym or you might be head over heels for me." You added as you stuck out your tongue.

"This girl really." he shook his head, smiling.

"Anyway, are you sure you can drag Soobin along with you?" you chuckled remembering how your cousin, Soobin, hates physical activities so much.

"We will try. Soobin hyung is lazy but we will try to persuade him." Beomgyu sighed and massaged his temple thinking about ways how to persuade the older guy. "Anyway, is there something you want me to buy later before going home?" He asked, leaning on your door frame.

"Hmm, can you buy some pasta? 'll make us Mac and Cheese when you are back." You answered, turning your swivel chair on both sides continuously.

Beomgyu glanced at your digital clock. It shows it is already 2 in the afternoon. He spoke once again. "You should take a rest for now. If you do it any later, you won't be able to sleep tonight again. You are being too engrossed on your latest K-pop obsession." You just simply nodded at him as he slipped out of your room and closed the door behind you.

Beomgyu has been your friend for a while now. You and him share the same apartment. It started when you two were still in your freshmen year, both looking for an apartment to stay in when you accidentally bumped into him on the corner of the street, the reason why you too became friends. Turns out that your cousin, Soobin, is also a long-time friend of his.

Just like your cousin, Beomgyu used to hate physical activities too. Hating on the simple thought of working out. But after your encounter with his other friend, Taehyun, he then started hitting the gym, claiming that you might change your best friend to Taehyun instead of him. It was because you were talking non-stop about how Taehyun had such a good body build even when he was a year younger than the both of you. He never heard the end of it until when he decided to give the gym a visit and started working out.

So these days, he became a gym buddy with his friend. You can tell that he's been bulking up a bit and it is evident. You can see how the sleeves of his shirt became a little bit tighter than usual, the material hugging the trained muscles of his arms. A few times, you also saw his newly formed abs whenever he uses white shirts. You were actually in awe of how he did this in a short period of time and also out of jealousy at your friend.

You already spent hours scrolling through social media, watching music videos, and reading fanfiction about your favorite K-pop group. It was almost four in the afternoon when you decided to take a nap to recharge, after being too immersed in the newly released episodes of your faves.

A picture of Beomgyu coming home from the gym flashed in your memory before you dozed off. Unable to figure out why he keeps popping up in your mind these days.

Beomgyu also left around that time. He usually leaves at 5 in the afternoon, but after the plan with Taehyun, they thought it might be better to go earlier to have an ample amount of time to persuade the lazy lanky guy.

Beomgyu was able to drag their friend along with them to the gym. On the other hand, you kept on squirming and whining in your sleep. Your body was burning hot and your breath hitched.

Your mind was full of Beomgyu's image. His body build and his mesmerizing gaze. He likes to stare at you most of the time, but you didn't pay any mind to it because you knew he was just teasing you.

You dreamt of holding him in person, of feeling his soft lips on yours and his strong arms around your body. If someone was near you right now, they could feel the heat radiating off your body. Your mind kept on circling on the idea of holding Beomgyu close to you. Where you can hear his breath against your ears and him speaking to you with his usual deep voice.

Half asleep, you felt a warmth spreading through your body, and you realized you were having a wet dream about Beomgyu, about your roommate slash best friend.

You continued squirming, thrashing, and moaning as you humped the bed, imagining that it was Beomgyu's hard abs that you were riding. You could feel your release building, as you called out Beomgyu's name as you came.

You were still whining, still coming down from your high. Your eyes fluttering and chest heaving. When you turned your gaze towards the other side of the room, you were startled to find Beomgyu standing in front of the door, watching you with a smoldering gaze, hands tightly gripping the door handle.

You felt embarrassed, as the memory of you humping on the bed replayed in your mind.

"H-how long were you standing t-there?" You stuttered, voice barely above a whisper. But Beomgyu just smiled and said, "I hope you don't mind if I join you." He walked towards you as he dropped his gym bag in the doorway.

Before you could respond, Beomgyu was on top of you already, kissing you deeply and making you forget all about your dream. You could feel his hard length pressing against you, and you wriggled with pleasure as he grind against you.

Beomgyu broke the kiss and looked down at you with a wicked smile. "I've meant to ask this for a while, do you want to ride my abs?" he asked, and you couldn't help but nod eagerly. Your cheeks heating up at the idea.

Beomgyu lifted you, removing your shorts and undies in one swift motion, and placed you on top of him, his hard abs rippling beneath yours. You can't help but moan as you felt Beomgyu's hardness rubbing against your cunt. He hiked his shirt up to his chest exposing his abs he's been working on. "Sit tight, hold on to me." He commanded as he held your waist and moved you up a bit to his abdomen.

You started to ride him, grinding your hips against his abs as he kissed and touched you. You can feel the vibrations from how he groans. You also did not hold yourself back, moaning in his mouth from the familiar yet new sensation you were feeling. The kiss you shared was hot and messy. You pulled away for a while as you looked down at him. He looks so hot and sexy biting his lips. You could feel yourself getting closer and closer to release, and Beomgyu's breath hitched as he felt the tightness of his sweats. With one final movement from you, you were squirting on his abs.

Your eyes widened as your body shuddered, totally surprised by what happened.

"Fuck." is the only thing Beomgyu was able to say as he watch it flow from his abdomen down to your sheets. He leans his head back on the pillow as he bites his lips once again. "S--sorry Beomgyu. I.. I did not mean to." he chuckled at your reaction. how you stutter as you apologize to him.

"I have no problem with this, angel. If anything, I fucking love this." he reached out to your sensitive nub as he moves his thumb in a circular motion. You yelped almost falling as you squirmed at his touch. He's been staring at you, smirking, loving your reaction to his touches and words.

"Have I ever told you you are so pretty?" he tilts his head looking up at you, his hand coming to a halt. With blown-out eyes, you tried to look at him in the eyes, "Y-you always d-do. B-but I know... I know you are just t-teasing me." your voice came out strained and breathing ragged.

He placed his hands on your waist again, rubbing it with his thumb. "Damn sexy. Has even the audacity to show off this morning." You covered your face with the back of your one hand as you held on to his thing, leaning back.

"Have you never realized that I am a man and you are a woman? What makes you brave enough to show me your curves like that?" He got up, leveling his face to yours, as he removed his shirt, discarding it on the side. Beomgyu gently tugged at the hem of your shirt, silently asking you to discard it, and you gladly obliged with shaky hands.

He pushed your hair back, getting a full exposure of your neck. His Adam's apple bobbed when he gulped at what it was in front of him.

He held your nape as he kissed your neck. Practically making out with your exposed skin. You can feel him bucking his hips up at you.

"You-you're just supposed to, ahh, w-wake me up, Gyu. I-i am s-supposed to cook something f-for y-you, hng." You whined as your slender fingers gripped on his dark locks.

"And you're also supposed to dream about me that it goes to the extent where you are humping your bed?" You swore you felt the edge of his lips turned up on your neck, picturing the smug look on it.

"I-i.." You have no words to say. No words escaping your mouth other than moans, whimpers, whines, and your best friend's name. You kept on chanting it as his kisses moved down to the valley of your breast. "I've been avoiding seeing you braless in your shirt in this goddamn apartment and here you are." He sighed. "Seeing your perked-up nipples poking out on your thin clothes makes me wanna pounce on you, countless times." He was practically confessing while devouring your chest, leaving love bites that ranged from small to big and dark ones.

You can't stop squirming on his words, grinding on his hard length. Beomgyu has been releasing soft groans and grunts as you grind above him. He wasted no more time when he flipped you back, pinning you below him. Being manhandled is one thing, but being manhandled by Beomgyu is another.

His big hand is able to hold both your wrist above your head. You bit your lip as your eyes traveled down to his abs. You've been wanting to touch it with your lips. Your dream about riding it became real, maybe a simple marking is nothing bad at all?

"Gyu, can I kiss your abdomen, please?" You pleased silently. He dips down his head for a while to plant a soft kiss on your lips before pulling away and kneeling. Both of his knees are supporting his upper body as he urges you to give it a shot. "Come, mark what's yours." The smirk plastered on his face is annoying yet you're loving it.

You crawled near him as you held on his waist. Planting soft kisses on his clenching abs. "Fuck.." he softly whispered, holding your head. "Your tongue is hot." Almost a complaint, yet he urged you more to bite and mark him. You continued on your ministration, leaving bite marks and dark red spots on his abdomen. He can't help himself but look up, gulping down the moans that wanted to come out of his mouth. "Baby. I can't take it anymore." His voice cracked. Your eyes were overwhelmed with tears for holding back so much.

Without warning, you moved up, licking his prominent Adam's apple. Sucking on it as if your life depends on how much you can take him. He's not liking it anymore. He does not like the fact that he is almost gonna burst with just your mouth and tongue roaming around his body.

This time, he did not hold back. He pushed you, flipping you around, lifting your ass. "Angel, I've been patient for a while now. I can't take it anymore." He said as he hovered above your back. "Please, Gyu" you whimpered as you move your ass back on his bulge. He winces. The sensation on his cock is too much. He needs to feel you now before he bursts. He cannot waste the moment.

He slips off of his sweats as he rubs his leaking tip on your wet cunt. Slowly sliding in, a few more curses can be heard from him, living the moment he is in. You were biting the sheets with how thick he is, stretching you. "Agh, you're so fucking tight!" He grunts near your red ears.

He stilled for a while when he was fully inside you. "Am I hurting you? Or I'm stretching you so good?" He smirked. "You feel so good, Gyu. Never thought you'd be this big." You forcefully shut your eyes, whimpering at his length and size. He peppered your back with kisses. Leaving hickeys on some parts. "You can move now. I'm okay." You assured him as you looked back at him. "How are you this sexy? I might cum just by the sight of you." He started to move slowly. Purposely doing it to make you feel every vein of his cock.

You were gripping so hard at the sheets, your eyes flowing with so many tears when he started to move at a faster pace. The slapping sound of your skin echoed through your room. The steam almost blurs the windows out. Grunts, high-pitched whines and whimpers, moans, and chanting of names are being mixed up as Beomgyu held a handful of your hair to take control, fucking your naughty dreams away.

"Fuck, I'm gonna cum, can you give me one first?" Like a clockwork, you're gushing down once again, this time on his cock. He did not want to make you pregnant yet. As much as he wanted to cum inside you and fill you with babies, he mentally punched his head to wake himself up.

Few more thrusts, a sensitive action for you, and he pulled out, cumming instead at your ass. "Shit! Fucking hell!" He groans as he pumps himself a few times. You let your body fall on your bed, your legs shaking. Beomgyu pulled you closer, bodies shuddering with pleasure. He planted soft and gentle kisses on your forehead as he pulled you, flushed on his chest.

"I'm gonna keep going to the gym, only if you'd ride me forever like what you did." He whispered. You're just glad you buried your face on his chest or he might have noticed how red as a tomato you were.

As he lay you in his arms, both of you were smiling, riding could nine. Beomgyu knew you would never forget this moment, and he couldn't wait to see what other adventures he might have with you in the future. Maybe still as a friend? Or maybe... just maybe... more than friends.

[starsinthesky5]

you belong with me ll || joe burrow x reader

description: you and Joe have been best friends ever since ohio state and you’ve been his biggest supporter for as long as you both could remember. it was always the same dynamic between you both, friends. very very very close friends. but what if you were more than just friends?

a/n: welcome to part 2! i really couldn’t stop writing this one so i had to split it up :) sorry this took a while!! 

warnings: language, mentions of sex

word count: 13.9 k

Part 1 Part 3

--------------------------------

A few days later 

You enter your apartment with tears flowing from your eyes. You throw your bag to the side and kick your shoes off before running over and face planting on your couch. You felt like absolute shit because of the day you had and your anxiety was through the roof. First, it was waking up to your period and dealing with deadly cramps while trying to get ready for work. Then, you got lectured by your Boss for being late to a work meeting because you had spent a few extra minutes in bed because of the cramps, and then you managed to take on a work project that you knew would be too much for you so you could make it up to your boss. Then, you managed to spill coffee all over your very new and expensive outfit. On top of that, the florist for your sister’s wedding–which was slowly approaching–had canceled last minute. You had taken on a lot of the planning duties for her wedding, which you now regret, and things were not going as planned. Everything just felt like it was crumbling. 

The thought of you and Joe’s relationship was also still lingering in your mind, you just wanted to know how he felt but didn’t want to push it, and it was driving you insane. So many thoughts were floating through your mind. What if he didn’t feel the same way? What if this caused him to pull away from you? You couldn’t bear the thought of not being able to talk to Joe, not getting to hear his adorable laugh; but most importantly, not having the comfort of knowing you had a person in your life who would always stick by your side no matter what happened. But what if he did feel the same way? What if he had felt the same way all this time but you were too blind to see it? It was an endless battle in your mind and your curiosity was only getting worse by the day; it all could go away if you simply just talked to him, but you refused to push both of you into that situation. If it was going to happen, it would have to happen on its own. 

All you could think about was him. Joe was the only person who could make you feel butterflies and lovesick simultaneously. 

Lovesick. You were lovesick. You couldn’t think about anything other than Joe and your feelings for him, and it was causing you to spiral, falling into an abyss of feelings you thought you moved on from a long time ago.

“Ughhh,” you grumbled into the pillow. “Why did everything have to be so complicated?” You thought to yourself. You lifted your head from the pillow and reached for your phone, checking the time before you opened up your contacts, calling the only person who could turn your mood around, who you really needed to talk to. And as usual, he picked up in an instant.  

“Hey, Y/N,” Joe grinned as he was on the way home from practice. 

“H- Hey, Joe,” you said, trying to hide the fact that you were crying. 

He instantly noticed something was off by the way you sounded, and this was one of his greatest talents. He could always figure out when you were lying, hiding something, or crying by just hearing your voice. 

“Are you okay?” he asked, his smile faltering.

“Y- Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” you lie, trying to hide your emotions because you don’t want him to be worried.

“You sound..off,” he said as he pulled into his driveway. 

“Just tired,” you mumble. 

He sighed at your response and was a little mad that you wouldn’t tell him what was really wrong. You had a habit of always bottling up your feelings and never openly talking about them. When they built up, they would come out explosively in the form of a breakdown, and it was not pretty. Joe always had to tell you that it was alright to let them out even if it felt like a lot, but here you were, bottling them up again and not listening to his advice. 

“Damn, that sucks,” he said, sounding incredibly stand-off-ish on purpose. “Maybe take a nap?” he suggests as he texts his parents that he won’t be able to join them for dinner tonight, then types in the address of the nearest pizza spot by your apartment. If you weren’t gonna talk to him about what was really wrong, he was going to have to get it out of you himself. This, plus what happened a few days ago with how you randomly left his house early in the morning without explanation was starting to bother him. He needed you to open up and what better way to do so than with pizza, wine, and ice cream? Three of your most favorite things.

You flinch at his sudden change of tone. “Joe-” you begin to say before he cuts you off.

“Listen, I gotta go. I’m kinda busy right now so I’ll talk to you later. Get some rest,” he says before he hangs up, not giving you a second to respond. You move the phone out from your ear as tears pooled your eyes again. Even the one person who could make you feel better couldn’t talk to you right now, and that made you feel even more shitty. 

He felt terrible for being so rude to you, but he knew that what you needed was some comfort and leisure, not just another lecture from him like he usually would give when you got like this. 

You wiped the tears that fell from your eyes, mumbling “Jerk,” as you got up from the couch to go change into something comfy. You opted for another one of his hoodies, which was a few sizes too big, and a pair of leggings. Then, you did what he said to do which was take a nap. Maybe that would make you feel better since he was too occupied to talk to you for a few minutes.

An hour later

You were woken by the sound of your doorbell, your puffy eyes slowly adjusting to your room which was now dark. You rubbed your eyes as you got out of bed, not bothering to fix your disheveled appearance, and walked straight over to the door to see what it was. 

You wiped your nose and cheeks with the sleeve of the sweatshirt as you opened the door, your eyes widening at the sight of what, or who was standing at the door. 

“Hard day?” Joe asked with a gentle smile. You looked up at his face, then down to his hands which were holding a box of pizza from your favorite pizzeria, a bottle of pinot noir, and a tub of cookies and cream ice cream. 

Your eyes softened when you saw him. This was your biggest weakness. You could never stay mad at him for longer than a few hours, even shorter if you actually saw him in front of you, just like you did now. “Yeah,” you sigh before you open the door a little more to let him in. 

He smiled as he walked inside, placing all the stuff he had on the kitchen island. He noticed that you had his blue Nike sweatshirt on, the one he had been looking all over for because it was his favorite, but didn’t say anything because you had it, and that was perfectly fine. 

He turns around and sees you standing in front of him, looking incredibly defeated with your puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks. He instantly grabs your arm and pulls you into him, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and another around your lower back. He held you incredibly close to his warm body, and you wanted him to never let go. 

“Jerk,” you murmur against his chest. 

“I’m sorry but I had to be a little jerky so I could do this,” he said softly, referring to his little surprise. “Did you really think I would’ve left you hanging like that?”.

“I meannn,” you drag out, teasing him as you look up at him. 

Joe gasped dramatically as he said, “I must really be lacking in the bestie department then,”.

“Mmph, please. If anything, you’ve set and exceeded the standards in the bestie department. You’re entering uncharted territory now,” you joke as you feel him rub your back, the warmth of his body making you forget all about your terrible day. 

“Oh really? What territory?” he questions as he looks down into your soft eyes.

“Boyfriend territory,” you say, feeling a pit of nervousness in your stomach because you didn’t know why you said that or how he would react to you saying that. It was pretty boyfriendish of him to drop what he was doing at the moment, which was probably getting ready for dinner with his parents which he so clearly was skipping for you, to come over with your favorite things in the hope of making you feel better. 

Joe swore his heart stopped when you said that. Boyfriend? He knew you were kidding, at least he thought you were, but the fact that you actually said it in regards to him was making his heart race. Were you calling him your boyfriend?

“I guess I’ll be setting the standards in the boyfriend department as well since nobody knows how to do that either,” he says, trying to act cool.

“Well, you’re setting them pretty high right now,” you smile as you break out from his embrace to examine the goodies he brought, letting out an internal sigh of relief that he didn’t say anything about basically telling him he was acting like your boyfriend. Little did you know that Joe didn’t just want to set the standards in the boyfriend department, he wanted to be the standard, and go above and beyond it for you. 

“You’re literally the best person ever for this,” you say as you get a whiff of the delicious pizza. 

“Nothing a good pizza, wine, and dessert trio can’t fix,” he shrugs as he walks over to the cabinets to grab plates and glasses.

“Are you drinking the wine too? Don’t you have practice tomorrow?” You ask as you grab the food and bring it over to the couch. 

“Nah, it’s optional tomorrow so I probably won’t go,” he says as he brings over the plates.

“Sooo that means you have time?” You ask as you jump on the couch with a grin on your face. 

“Yeah, I have time,” he chuckles as he puts the stuff down and joins you on the couch.

“Can we watch Pitch Perfect?” you ask, sticking your bottom lip out.

“Again? I swear to god I’ve seen that movie 30 times with you,” he grimaces.

“You can never get tired of the Barden Bellas, Joey. Just accept it,” you chuckle as you turn on the movie.

“Whatever you say,” he laughs, getting up from the couch and pouring you both a glass of wine. 

An hour later, you both are full from the delicious pizza and slightly tipsy from the wine. The movie is still playing in the background as you both are digging into the delicious ice cream. 

“Mm, this is soo good,” you groan as you take another bite.

“Told you. Ice cream makes everything better,” he shrugs as he takes another spoonful and shoves it into his mouth. 

“You make everything better. This ice cream is just a minor addition,” you say, giving him a loaded look before going back to the ice cream.

He stops eating the frozen dessert and turns over so that his whole body faces you. “You still didn’t tell me what happened,”.

You shove the spoonful of ice cream into your mouth, slowly removing the spoon from your mouth as you hear him talk. 

“I know you were lying earlier,” he says, raising his eyebrow. 

“Can’t ever hide anything from you, Can I?” You chuckle as you put the spoon down and turn so that your whole body is facing him, tucking your legs under you as you sit up on your knees. 

“Even if you tried,” he smiles.

You let out a deep breath before running your fingers through your hair. “I just had a really shitty day and my head feels like it’s ready to explode,”.

He reaches over and grabs your hand, entwining your fingers before giving it a gentle squeeze. “What happened?”. 

“Well first, I’m on my period so I literally feel like I’m about to die,” you say.

“Good thing I brought ice cream then,” he chuckles.

“Like I said, you’re the best person ever. Anyway, then I was a bit late to a work meeting because of the cramps and my boss absolutely berated me for it. So then to soften the blow, I told her I would take on this project for next month but I’m definitely way in over my head with it and I haven’t even really looked into it. And then I spilled coffee all over my very expensive outfit which I just bought last week,” you sigh. 

“I’ll buy you a new one,” he said, giving you a look that told you he was being serious and not just trying to make you feel better.

“You don’t have to,” you giggle. “This was more than enough,” you say, pointing over at the empty pizza box and wine glasses.

“Mmm, it wasn’t but continue,” he says.

You playfully roll your eyes and continue, “And then worst of all, the florist for Kaylee’s wedding canceled and the wedding is in 3 weeks. I don’t know why I took on so many planning responsibilities because I feel like I’m drowning and I really don’t want to screw up her wedding,”. You feel tears pool in your eyes again, feeling another wave of anxiety come over you. 

“Hey, it’s gonna be okay,” Joe soothes while rubbing your hands, noticing that you started to get antsy again. “You’re not going to screw anything up,”.

“Really? Because it feels like I’m screwing up everything,” you say, tensing up. You were partly referring to the wedding, but also about you and Joe’s friendship which you were at risk of ruining because of your emotions. You would always try to talk to Joe about your feelings no matter what they were, but this time you couldn’t even if it was when you needed to the most. 

“Are we still talking about the wedding?” He asks, feeling a change in what you were talking about based on your demeanor. 

“I don’t even know anymore,” you say as you start to cry. “I just have so many thoughts going through my head right now that I don’t even know what’s really making me act like this,”. You felt hot tears streaming down your cheeks again as you started to shake a little. 

Joe felt awful seeing you like this. He still felt like you weren’t telling him everything, but he didn’t want to push you if you really didn’t want to talk about it, especially if it was making you act like this. He hated seeing you upset and the sight of your tear-stained cheeks and swollen eyes broke his heart. 

“Come here,” he mumbles as he reaches out for your arm, pulling you on top of him and in for a hug. 

You shoved your head into the crook of his neck almost like it was a reflex, letting out another sigh as he wrapped his arms around your waist. “I don’t know what’s going through your head, but I’m here if you need anything. I’m always here and I’m not going anywhere,” he says as he rubs your back. Joe always had a way of alleviating your pain, knowing exactly how to bring you down if you were stuck on a dark cloud. Whether it was his promising words or his pacifying hugs, he could always make you ignore your worries.  

“Thanks for always being here,” you sniffle against his neck. 

“I’m always going to be here,” he says before pressing two soft kisses on your forehead, which is new. “You can’t get rid of me that easily,” he smirks. 

Your heart fluttered when you felt him press his lips against your skin. He’d never done that before, even when you had breakdowns worse than this. Was he just being sweet or was this something else? 

All he wanted to do was to take your pain and anxiety away. He still wasn’t sure what was making you act like this, surely it wasn’t just a bad day at work, so what was it? Was it connected to how you randomly sneaked out of his house a few days ago without telling him you were leaving? 

“No, No, No. Enough with the investigation. She needs her best friend right now,” Joe thought to himself as he went back to comforting you. He looked down and saw you clutching onto his bicep as your head stayed in the crook of his neck, feeling your shallow breaths and teardrops. You felt his hand move to the back of your head, his fingers moving through your hair and gently rubbing your head. 

“You’re okay,” he soothes. “Everything’s going to work out for the better on its own. I promise,” he says. You really couldn’t see how everything would work out on its own, but his words were incredibly convincing. 

A few minutes later, the once-flowing tears had now dried up and your breathing had returned back to normal. You stayed in his comfortable embrace for a little longer, relishing the peace and warmth it was providing. The warmth radiating off of his body felt like a safety blanket, just like how it felt when you were cuddling him a few nights ago at his house.

“You’re so comfy,” you mutter against his neck. “My personal body pillow,”. 

“You can use me anytime you want,” he says, pulling you in tighter. 

You smile at his words and then press a kiss to his neck, not really sure why, but it felt right. 

Joe froze when he felt you kiss his neck. You’d never done that before, ever. His heartbeat picked up and his palms started to get sweaty, and you could feel it. Was that because of you? Were you making him nervous? 

Then and there he felt like telling you how he felt. He wanted to tell you that it was going to be alright, that he loved you more than anything in the universe and would always be here for you in every way possible, and that you belonged with him. But he didn’t because he didn’t want to do this now, it didn’t feel right. He wasn’t going to do that to you right now when you needed comfort more than anything. No reason to push those feelings onto you and cause you to get worked up again. 

“Thank you for doing this. I know today was your weekly dinner with your parents so I appreciate you skipping it for me,” you say, pulling your head out of his neck and meeting his soft eyes. 

“You remembered?” He asked, a little surprised that you remembered his weekly dinners with his parents.

“Of course, I remembered. You’ve been having weekly dinners with them since you got drafted, same day every week,” you grin. “But seriously, thank you for doing this. You always know how to make me feel better,”.

“It’s my job,” he shrugs. 

“Well, you deserve a promotion because you’re doing amazing,” you smile as you move his hair out from his eyes. You stare at him for a few seconds, taking in every detail about his face. His perfect ski slope nose was a little red because of the cold weather, his deep blue eyes that you wanted to get lost in, the little scruff on his chin that you wanted to feel against your body, and his adorable smile lit up the entire room. Everything about him was perfect. He was perfect, and you wanted him so badly. 

“You still owe me an explanation for why you snuck out of my house that morning,” he said, snapping you out of your daze as he moved a few strands of hair out of your face. 

“Ohh, uhh. I thought I told you. Lydia needed my help getting ready for her brunch date,” you lie. “She was freeaaaking out. So she picked me up and we went back to my place to get her ready,”.

Joe knew you were lying. The tone of your voice gave it away but also since he asked Lydia. He asked her if you were alright after you texted him saying she picked you up for morning Pilates since she didn’t want to go alone. Joe didn’t understand why you were lying to him, but he also didn’t want to ask you since he had just gotten you to relax and didn’t need you to get anxious again. 

“Ah, I see,” he says. You let out an internal sigh of relief at his response since it seemed like he believed you. 

“Next time, wake me up because that felt awfully like a walk of shame,” he teased, making you blush and squirm in his arms. 

“That’ll be the first walk of shame that happened even though the pair in question didn’t do anything scandalous,” you giggled. 

“Tell that to my neighbors,” Joe mumbled as he looked up at the ceiling. 

“What?” you shrieked as you moved out of his arms, a look of confusion on your face. 

“Yeahhh, they saw you run out of the house and mentioned it to me when I was taking out the trash,” he said as he nervously wiped his hands on his thighs.

“Oh my god. Which neighbor?” you cringed, covering your face with the sleeves of his your hoodie. 

“Mrs. Nelson,” he laughed, knowing that you were scared of her. Something about that woman’s eyes sent chills up your spine whenever you would see her. You saw her most evenings when you were leaving Joe’s house, and she looked like she was judging you every single time. 

“She said, ‘Joey, I know that you young men have needs, but could you at least tell her to put on some pants before darting out the door bright and early in the morning. Some of the neighbors have kids that like to be out early,” Joe said in a girly voice. 

“Oh my god,” you whined against your hands. “Did you at least correct her?” you asked as you moved your hands from your face.

Joe looked around the room with a smug look on his face, avoiding your eyes which told you everything you needed to know.

“Joseph Lee!” you screamed as you got up from the couch and started hitting him with a pillow. 

“Hey, it was funny,” he laughed as he held up his hands to protect himself from your swings. 

“I’m not laughing,” you said, trying to hide your smile. Truth be told, it was pretty funny.  

“Okayy, we’re not about to do this again,” Joe says as he gets off the couch.

“Why? Because you manhandled last time and ended up under me?” you smirk as you twirl the pillow around. 

“Because this time, you’ll be the one under me,” he teases, giving you a wink. Your stomach did a backflip and the room felt like it got 10 degrees hotter because of his alluring words. The wine was definitely doing its thing right now, for both of you. Words came out of his mouth that he would never say to you, and you weren’t even thinking twice about them. For once, you didn’t overanalyze his words and went straight back to the conversation.

“That’s it!” you giggle as you start hitting him with the pillow again, but he retaliates by reaching down and swooping you off your feet. He throws you over his shoulder, resting one of his hands extremely close to your ass on purpose. He knew exactly what he was doing right now, and you were loving every second of it even though you could barely process it.

“Joe, let go of me,” you laugh as he makes his way through your apartment with you over his shoulder. 

“How does it feel to get manhandled, Hm?” he smiles as he kicks open your room door, gently tossing you down onto the bed as you let out a soft yawn.

“Extremely Comfy,” you smile back as he kneels on the bed to hover over you. He places both of his hands on each side of your head, caging you in; this position feels a little too coupley. His hair was falling into his eyes as his big body was shielding you from the overhead light of your room, almost creating a cocoon around you. 

“Hi,” you whisper, staring deeply into his gentle eyes that were now a shade of deep blue, just like the ocean. 

“Hi,” he chuckles. His lips were just inches from yours and he had the urge to crash his lips down on yours and kiss you like he had been wanting to do all these years. 

Similarly, you felt like reaching up and pushing his face down onto yours, capturing his perfect lips in a soft kiss. Both of you had the same thought but neither of you knew that. 

“You look pretty,” Joe mumbled as he moved a few strands of hair behind your ear before moving his hand back to where it was, setting fireworks off in your heart.

“I don’t but thanks for lying,” you say as you fist one of your hands into his hair, playing with the strands. 

“Please. You always look pretty, Y/N. You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen,” he adds, feeling lovestruck at the sight of you giggling underneath him. Your eyes sparkle in the light, your skin glowing, and your once puffy eyes are now back to normal. His stomach was doing backflips as he realized he was on top of you right now, in a position that wasn’t generally friendly, but you didn’t seem to be bothered by it; just like how you seemed when you were on top of him a few nights ago. 

The pit of nervousness in your stomach was back as your breathing intensified. Your palms started to feel sweaty while your face felt hotter than usual. There was no way that this was a friendly interaction right? He was literally on top of you, inches from your face, and had the same exact look he had on his face on the way home from the Christmas party a few days ago, lovestruck. 

“Thank you for coming over tonight,” you said, your eyes not moving from his. “I don’t know what I’d do without you,”.

“I told you, I'm always going to be here for you and I mean it. You’ve always been there for me when I needed someone and I couldn’t be more grateful for you. When the most special & important girl in my life needs someone, I'm there. Anytime, Any place,” he says, his face moving closer to yours. 

The most special and important girl in his life, he said. He was talking about you and only you and that was the cherry on top that sealed the deal. 

“I know that even if everything in my life fades, including football and the people I’ve met along the way, I know that you’ll always be there no matter what,”.

Your stomach was in knots right now. You wanted to scream and cry right now because of his words–but out of happiness and not despair. You felt like you were being transported back to college right now, experiencing those new feelings of excitement when you realized you had a crush on someone. Back in college, you felt those feelings of excitement about Joe. And years later, those feelings of excitement were still calling his name. 

Love. That was it. You were in love with Joe. You have been in love with him since you two were just a couple of silly college kids trying to get through young adulthood together. Those feelings that you thought were momentary and situational, were permanent and eternal. And now that you two were grown up, it was clear how you felt about him. You had avoided those feelings for too long, and they only got stronger as the moments passed by. No wonder none of your past relationships would ever work out. The right person was in front of you this entire time and has been there for as long as you can remember.

Screw letting things happen naturally. You couldn’t take it anymore. You were on the verge of screaming how you felt about him at the top of your lungs. You had to tell Joe what you were feeling even if it was right now, completely out of the blue. 

“Joe I-,” you start to say before the sound of his phone ringing interrupts you. 

You watch as he closes his eyes and sighs, “Hang on,” he says as he moves off of you and takes his phone out of his pocket. 

“It’s my mom. You good if I take this?” He asks you. 

“Yeah, of course. Tell her I said Hey,” you smile. You watch as he fixes his hair and walks out of your room, shutting your door and leaving you alone with your thoughts.  

You couldn’t believe that you were so close to telling him how you felt. So, so, so close. You loved him more than anything in the world and now that you realized it, you wanted him to be yours, and only yours. 

“I love him,” you whispered to yourself as you stuffed your face into a pillow to hide the blood rushing into your cheeks. You started kicking your feet back and forth, feeling exactly how you did in college when you first realized you liked Joe. It felt like pure teenage innocence. He was the only man you had ever loved now that you thought about it. Yes, you had said those 3 words to other men before, but you never meant it like you did with Joe. 

“Hey Mom,” Joe says as he sits down on the couch.

“Hey Sweetie. Everything alright? You didn’t really explain why you had to miss dinner tonight?” She says.

“Sorry about that. Y/N had a really bad day and I’m over at her place right now,” Joe said as he looked over to your side table, spotting a picture frame that had a photo of the two of you. The photo was of you two after the AFC championship game in 2022 that sent the Bengals to their first Super Bowl in years. You were clutching onto his waist, your head leaning on his chest and a huge smile plastered on your face as you were looking up at him. Joe had his arm around your shoulder and was in the middle of putting his championship hat on your head. Both of you were surrounded by tons of people, but the only thing you could focus on was each other. The candid photo captured both of your sentiments perfectly. 

Flashback to 2022 

You were waiting on the sidelines, taking in the moment as much as you could before you went over to celebrate with Joe. The Bengals had just beat the Chiefs, 27-24, and were on their way to the Super Bowl for the first time in years. You got an intense feeling of Deja vu as you watched Joe’s teammates lift him up on their shoulders, just like how they did when he won the Natty. You were lucky enough to be by his side for both of these significant moments and now you’d be by his side on the grandest stage of them all. 

“I’m so proud of him,” Robin said as she wrapped her arm around your shoulder, squeezing you tightly. 

“You and me both,” you whispered, a smile creeping up on your face as you made eye contact with Joe, his smile somehow getting bigger. 

His mom looks over at him and follows his intense gaze right over to you, smiling at the way he is looking at you. “Go over there,” she encourages as she lets go and lightly pushes you. 

“I’ll be back,” you smile at her before making your way onto the field. 

Joe walked over to you and met you halfway, an evident bounce in his step reflecting the happiness he felt right now. “Hey there Mr. AFC Champ,” you giggle as you pull down your beanie a little more to protect your head from the cold January air. 

He doesn’t say anything back, instead just wraps his arms around you and pulls you in for a big hug, swaying you back and forth. 

“Hey, watch the outfit,” you murmur against his warm neck. He was definitely wrinkling up your dark orange sweater with his big, sweaty, grassy, but warm body. 

“Screw your outfit,” he laughs as he pulls away from the hug. 

“Yeah, you’re right,” you smile. “We got bigger things to talk about,”.

“Oh really? Wonder what it could be?” Joe smirks. 

“I’m getting a major sense of Deja vu right now,” you say, your eyes navigating up to his head which was covered by the championship hat, your mind going back to the sight of the National Championship hat on his head in 2020.  

He suddenly pulls you back into his chest, this time squeezing you even harder. “I can’t believe it,” he whispers.

“Well, you better believe it. I’m so fucking proud of you, Joe,” you say, moving your head so that you were looking up at him, tears starting to pool in your eyes. Words wouldn’t be enough to describe how proud you were of him at this moment. His first full NFL season resulting in his first Super Bowl appearance was incredible, truly magical. You watched for months as he worked his ass off to rehab his knee and get back to where he needed to be, and getting to see all of his hard work pay off was the most fulfilling part of it all.

“You did amazing out there today, I seriously have never seen anything like this,” you sputter. 

He looked down at you, meeting your shiny eyes with his baby blues. His eyes moved to the beanie on the top of your head, and then you felt it being pulled off of your head. Your hair was flying everywhere as you watched him throw it down to the ground, your head now felt incredibly bare and cold. 

“Hey, My beanie!” You yelled as you looked at it on the ground. You looked back up at him with a scowl, “What was that for?”.

“So I could do this,” he says as you watch him take the hat off of his head, your smile coming back to your face instantly as you feel his hand slide along your waist. He places his hat on your head, giving your head a few pats to make sure it’s secure. Joe’s mom snapped a few photos of the adorable interaction, neither of you noticing her presence a few feet away from you. 

“If I’m Mr. Champ, then you’re Mrs. Champ,” he laughed. 

“Mrs?” You laughed as you raised your eyebrow. “Don’t see a ring to prove it,” you add as you pretend to look intensively at your fingers. You were trying to keep it cool, definitely not trying to act like you were doing backflips internally at the mention of being ‘Mrs.’. You knew he was just joking, but your heart couldn’t help but flutter at the sound of being his ‘Mrs.’.

“Ring will hopefully be coming February 13th, 2022,” he sighed. 

“Damnnn. So we’re talking about that kinda ring?” You teased, pretending to look disappointed.

“What did you think?” He smirked, knowing exactly what kinda of ring you were talking about. It was his fault for saying ‘Mrs.’, implying you were his wife, but he always enjoyed the playful back and forth. 

“Ya know, Princess cut? Emerald cut? But I guess a Super Bowl ring will do just fine,” you say while rolling your eyes playfully.

“Maybe you’ll get two,” Joe shrugs as he lets go of you. 

“Proposing without even dating the girl?” you say as you raise your eyebrow, straightening out your sweater which had a few grass marks on it from his jersey. 

“Well, if the girl already knows anything and everything there is to know about me, and I know anything and everything about the girl, then it’s easy to skip the ‘getting to know each other’ phase,” he laughs. 

“Relentless,” you chuckle while shaking your head; your heart still soaring at the flirty back and forth that you two would often have. Sometimes it would be silly, sometimes serious, but often flirty; but that never weirded either of you out for some reason. 

You turn your head to the side, realizing it wasn’t just the two of you out there and that you were surrounded by many other people who wanted a chance to talk to Joe. This would happen a lot, especially in these kind of moments. You two would find each other in a crowded room, and once you were face to face, everything around you would fade away, leaving just the two of you there, together. 

“I think I’ve kept you long enough,” you say, feeling a little shy that this whole interaction happened around so many people, many of whom were probably not even paying attention, but to your overthinking mind, they were. “You probably want to go celebrate with the guys anyway,” you say, looking down at your boots. 

A scoff leaves his mouth, “And leave you? Never,” he says as he gives you a loaded look. 

“That’s sweet but they’re your guys,” you say as you look back up.

“And you’re my girl,” Joe says, instantly turning tomato red as he realizes what he just said to you. That wasn’t supposed to come out of his mouth. He watches you flinch, your face tensing up at the awkward moment that just happened. 

“Not like that,” he quickly retreats, scrambling to make sure he didn’t just make you uncomfortable.

You stay quiet for a few heartbeats, his anxiety getting worse by the second. But then you let out a laugh and cover your mouth to hide your big smile, “I know what you mean,”. He lets out a sigh of relief, his mind cooling back down but your insides were still as hot as ever. Being ‘his girl’ didn’t sound so bad. 

“But seriously, you probably have tons of media and stuff to do right now since you’re now Super Bowl-bound, so I’ll leave you to it,” you say as you pull him in for another hug, sliding your hand up and down his back. 

“I’ll come find you later, I promise,” he whispers into your ear, sending chills down your spine and butterflies in your stomach. 

You pull away and say, “I thought you and the guys would go out or something?”.

“They are but I wanna take you and my parents out for dinner or something,” He smiles. “I want to celebrate with the most significant people in my life,”.

“I won’t fight you on that,” you beam as you stare deeply into his soothing eyes. 

End of flashback 

“Well aren’t you a good friend,” His mom says over the phone, snapping Joe out of his trance. 

“Yeahh,” he nervously chuckles, his mom instantly noticing his awkward tone. 

“Tell me what’s wrong,” she sighs.

Joe goes silent, he knows that he can’t hide anything from his Mom but still tries. He heaves out a sigh before getting straight to the point. “I like her. Like a lot. Like I love her,” he says quietly, making sure you didn’t overhear.

He hears his mom laugh over the phone, his brows furrowed at the response he gets. “About damn time!”.

“What?” he questions. “It’s about time you admitted it. I think everyone knows that you’ve had a thing for Y/N since Ohio State, Joe,” she smiles.

“Oh god. Is it that obvious?” he whispers, making sure that you don’t hear him. 

“Mhm. Obvious to everyone but the two of you,” she replies, causing Joe’s eyes to widen. 

“What do I do, Mom? I want to tell her but I feel like it’ll screw it all up if she doesn’t feel the same,”.

“Just talk to her, Joey. I know she feels the same way about you. I have seen the way she looks at you, talks about you, and acts around you. She loves you, just like you do her. Your girl has been in front of you this entire time,” she advises. 

“I told myself I’d let things happen naturally, but I just can’t keep it in anymore,” Joe sighs, throwing his head back to the pillow. 

“Naturally? Sweetie, you’ve been letting things happen naturally for nearly what, 9 years? You’ve been tip-toeing around each other for entirely too long. You both are grown adults now and I personally think it won’t hurt to give it a shot, especially since I think that it’ll turn out to be the best thing for both of you. She’s a wonderful girl and the effect she has on you is unlike anything I’ve ever seen, and the same goes for the effect you have on her. That’s true love,” his mom adds. “Just simply talk to her,”. 

And Joe took that advice to heart. His mom was right, he just had to talk to you. He never had trouble talking to you about anything before, you were always receptive and understanding. Talking to you about his feelings shouldn’t be so difficult, especially if there was a chance that you felt the same way. 

You got up from your bed, a little concerned since Joe hadn’t come back to the room yet. You opened your door and walked outside to him staring up at the ceiling. 

“Hey, you alright?” you asked as you leaned against the wall. 

Joe sits up straight when he hears your voice and quickly tries to recollect himself so that you don’t suspect that something is wrong. 

“Yeah, she just was asking about why I skipped dinner and if you were alright,” he said. 

“Ohh,” you nodded. If that was all they were talking about, why did Joe look so flustered? 

“Well, I hope you told her that I’m fantastic now all thanks to her son who knows how to flip someone’s mood around better than he knows how to make french toast,” you tease.

“I only burnt them once,” he scoffed as his jaw fell open.

“It was definitely a little more than that,” you said as you moved from the wall to the kitchen, grabbing him a water bottle. “We can try again tomorrow morning and see if you’ve gotten any better,” you laughed. 

“Tomorrow Morning?” Joe asked.

“Yeah. It’s getting pretty late and since you don’t have practice tomorrow, I was thinking you could stay over?” you said as you handed him the bottle. You were hoping and praying he would stay.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to intrude,” he says as he takes the bottle from you, his thumb lightly touching your fingers which sends electricity through your body.

“Intrude on what? It’s just me,” you grinned. “The only thing is, the ‘guest bedroom’ is my storage room so we’d have to share my bed,”.

“It worked out pretty well last time,” Joe softly laughed as he got up from the couch. 

“So you’ll stay?” you perk up, trying to hold back from looking too happy.

“Come on,” he smiles, grabbing your hand and leading you to your room. Both of you were trying to hold back from saying something to each other about your feelings that you were both now certain of, and both of your faces were showing it. You were like two lovestruck teenagers. 

A few minutes later, Joe settled into your bed while you were changing into your Pajamas. His heartbeat only got faster by the second now that he was thinking of when the right moment to talk to you was. Was right now a good time or was it too sudden? You were probably tired anyway, so maybe the next time you see each other would be better. 

He watched as you came out of the bathroom in a short-sleeved Ohio State Football shirt, one of his, and shorts, looking absolutely angelic. He wondered how many of his clothes had piled up in your closet over the years. 

“Do you need anything before I turn off the lights?” You ask him while you plug in your phone.

“I’m good,” he lazily smiles as he pulls the covers up.

You nod, turn the lights off, and slide into the bed next to Joe. You weren’t nervous this time like you were a few nights ago. Maybe it was because you actually came to a conclusion about your feelings for him or maybe it was because he was in your bed and not the other way around. 

“Night, Joey,” you yawn as you look over at him.

“Night, Y/N,” he smiles as he closes his eyes. 

An hour later 

He couldn’t sleep. He tried and tried but he couldn’t fall asleep. He looked over at you, your eyes closed and soft snores coming from your mouth. His mind was still racing and it wouldn’t stop, and you being asleep right next to him wasn’t helping. Nothing about what happened tonight was helping. It was like he was on the verge of exploding because he couldn’t keep it in any longer, and he’d never ever felt like this before, and it was all because of you. 

He turned over to face you, your hair was sprawled out against the pillow, some strands on your face, and your breathing was steady. He moved his hand to move the stray stands out of your face, but as soon as he did, you started moving. He quickly moved his hand away from your face and turned back to face the ceiling, closing his eyes and pretending to be asleep. 

He felt you move around a little more before he felt weight on his arm. He opened his eyes and slowly looked over at you to see you resting your head against his bicep. 

“Y/N?” he whispered.

No response. You were definitely still asleep.

He carefully moved his arm out from underneath your head and allowed you to move into him. You turned so that you were on your stomach but still pressed against his chest. You draped your leg over his and pressed your head against his chest and his arms settled around you, holding you close. He tried to even out his breathing, which was increasing because of your movements. You were cuddling him right now, just like how he was cuddling you a few nights ago. This time, your warm body was providing him comfort and security. 

A few moments later, he had gotten a little more comfy, now feeling a wave of sleepiness come over him. He looked down at you, smiling at the fact that you were doing this naturally and completely in your sleep, like a reflex. He pressed a few soft kisses to the top of your head before looking up at the ceiling. 

You were right there. You had always been right there, he thought to himself. 

“I love you,” Joe whispered to you as he closed his eyes. 

Saturday - The Day before Joe’s Birthday 

The rest of the week had gone by pretty smoothly and you had Joe to thank for that. The morning after Joe stayed over, he helped you track down a new florist for your sister’s wedding. He pulled some strings to help you get the florist on such short notice, and naturally, it worked as nobody could say no to Joe Burrow. Then, he pulled out your laptop and helped you look through your work project. Going through it with him definitely helped you feel calmer about it since two minds were looking at it instead of 1. Even though his brain was wired to be a quarterback, he still had some knowledge about finance in his head from college which came to your advantage. He told you that if you ever felt like it was too much, to just let your Boss know, and if she ever had an issue with you, he would talk to her personally and let her know how much stress you’ve been under lately. 

He always put in so much thought when it came to you, and you could never seem to fully grasp it. He even went online and ordered you a bunch of new, very expensive, clothes to make up for the outfit that you destroyed because of your spilled coffee. He always thought of everything and hit every corner. The only thing that was now left to be sorted out was telling him how you felt about him, and you couldn’t wait to tell him. 

Today, you spent most of the day wrapping gifts for Joe as his birthday was tomorrow. The Bengals were playing Monday Night Football at home, so for once he was free on his special day. Even though he told you he didn’t want anything, you obviously didn’t listen to him. He always went above and beyond for your birthday, and you wanted to do the same for him as much as you could. 

You hit all the corners when it came to getting him birthday gifts this year. The first thing you got him was a funny Squidward sweatshirt, a character with whom Joe shared a lot of similarities. You thought it was so endearing that he still watched SpongeBob, especially now that he’s a 27-year-old millionaire, but he still found comfort in the things that made him who he was. The next thing you got him was the Lego Porche set he had been dying to get his hands on, but was extremely hard to find. You searched every Lego store in the vicinity before you found it in a rare collectibles store downtown. Joe loved Legos, another thing about him that was incredibly precious to you. That man could spend hours in a room building a Lego set when he could, and you were often there to help him. The next thing you got him was a new pair of Cartier Shades. They were a pretty penny, but he deserved to be spoiled on his birthday, and this was just the thing for him. The final thing you got him, maybe your most favorite, was a Night Sky Map from January 13th 2020, the night he won the CFP National Championship. For a man who loved space and anything related to it, this was the perfect gift. The Map showed the exact position of the stars at the time LSU had won the game at the Mercedes Benz Superdome. 

“Perfect,” you smiled as you looked at the Map. You finished wrapping the gift and placed it on the counter with the rest of them. You then pulled out your phone to text Joe and see what his plans were for tomorrow. 

You: hey there birthday boy!! what ya up to tomorrow?

Joe: hey y/n :) nothing really. prob watching some film and relaxing before the game on Monday

Your jaw dropped when he told you his plans. There was no way he was spending his birthday alone, boarded up inside of his house. 

You: joe….

Joe: yes?

You: your birthday is tomorrow 

Joe: i’m well aware lol

You: care to explain why you are spending your birthday alone? 

Joe: my parents and some of the guys were pushing me to do a dinner or something but I told them I just wanted to focus on the game and rest the day before

That was a reasonable excuse, but you were not about to let him spend his special day all alone. Especially since usually, he would have a game on his birthday. 

You: that’s fair but this is your first free birthday in a longgg time. don’t you wanna do something fun?

Joe: fun can wait until the season ends 

Hmm, this was going to be harder than you thought. He really wasn’t going to do anything fun on his birthday, was he? 

Suddenly, you had a lightbulb moment. It would be pretty lame if you told him you were going to come over for a bit to celebrate with him, so what about a surprise? You could lie to him and say you would be out of town tomorrow, but back for the MNF game, and surprise him at his house. You could bake him his favorite dessert, order his favorite food, and bring everything over to his house along with his gifts.

You: if you say soooo. but just so you know, i’ll be out of town all day but i’ll be back for the game on Monday. i have some gifts for you that i can give you after the game :)

Joe’s smile dropped as he read the text. He was hoping you would say that you were going to come over to keep him company on his birthday, which he deep down did not want to spend alone. He couldn’t show that he was unhappy that you weren’t going to see him on his birthday, so he pretended to act like it was alright. 

Joe: no biggie :) i’ll see you in the suite monday?

You: definitely. wouldn’t miss it for the world ;)

You felt bad about lying to him, knowing that he was probably sitting there thinking about how he had to spend his birthday alone. Of course, he needed to relax and focus, but nobody really wanted to spend their birthday alone. And he wasn’t going to, even if he thought he was. 

A smile crept onto your face as you thought about tomorrow. Maybe you could even finish telling him what you were going to say to him a few nights ago. 

Sunday - Joe’s Birthday 

You walked over to the oven, pulling out the fresh Pumpkin Pie you had baked for Joe earlier. You placed it onto the counter to cool as you heard your apartment doorbell ring from what was probably the food delivery person. 

You walked over to the door, greeted the delivery person, and grabbed the food; cajun from Joe’s favorite NOLA-inspired restaurant downtown. After placing the food on the counter next to the pie, you bring over the bag of gifts and set it next to everything, giving everything another check to make sure it was perfect.

“Food, drinks, pie, gifts…” you list off as you feel like you’re forgetting something. 

“Balloons!” you chirp as you speed walk into your room to grab the balloons you got him last night. After bringing the balloons over to the rest of the items you had for his little birthday surprise, you gave everything another check, and this time it was all perfect.

A few minutes later, your car was all loaded up with his birthday surprise and you were on his way to his house. You were bobbing your head along to the song playing on the aux, “You Belong With Me”. 

“If you could see that I'm the one who understands you, Been here all along, so why can't you see? You belong with me, you belong with meee,” you sing, a huge smile plastered on your face as your mind strays to the only man it could ever wander to. “He’s gonna love this,” you say as you bite your lip in anticipation. 

20 minutes later, you pull into his driveway, watching as the sun sets over the horizon. You quickly turned off your car, hopped out of your car, and grabbed the balloons from the backseat. After taking a few deep breaths to calm your excitement with the balloons in hand, you make your way over to his door, but to just your luck, someone spotted you. Of course, it was Mrs. Nelson who seemingly was coming back home after her evening walk. 

“Fuck,” you mumble. You slowly walk closer to his door, and her eyes tracking you as you try not to look at her. You see her shake her head from the corner of your eye and let out a small chuckle, prompting her to clear her throat out of rudeness. You pause at the steps to his door, plaster a fake smile onto your face, and turn to say “Hi, Mrs. Nelson,”. 

The peculiar woman doesn’t respond and just shakes her head again before turning around and walking into her house. “Damn, tough crowd,” you laugh as you walk up the steps to his door. You press his doorbell, waiting for a few moments as you begin to think about how you are going to tell him about your feelings, but before you can get too deep into those thoughts, the door swings open. 

“Y/N?” Joe says, his jaw practically on the floor. 

You leap into his arms and pull him in for a warm hug, “Happy Birthdayyyy!” you squeal as you sway him back and forth. 

“I thought you–” he begins to say before you pull out of the hug to interrupt him. 

“You believed me?” you say as you gently push his shoulder. “I would never leave you alone on your birthday goofball,”.

“I seriously thought you weren’t coming,” he says as he scratches the back of his neck

“Damn. I’m for sure lacking in the bestie department then,” you giggle.

“Please, you have fully broken through the ceiling of the bestie department and are entering dangerous territory,” he teases, echoing your words from a few days ago. 

“Oh yeah? What territory?” you ask, raising your eyebrow.

“Girlfriend territory,” he teases as he watches your face turn a little red. Your heart skips a beat when he says the word ‘girlfriend’. Is this how he felt when you said he was entering boyfriend territory a few nights ago?

“Come inside,” he says, breaking you out of your trance. “It’s cold out here,”.

“Hang on, I have all your stuff inside the car,” you say as you hand him the balloons. 

“What stuff?” he asks.

“Your birthday stuff, duhh,” you giggle as you quickly turn around to grab everything from the car. 

Joe shakes his head and laughs as he watches you scurry over to your car, and then struggle to grab everything all in one go. “You need help?” he yells.

“Nope! I got it,” you yell back.

A few minutes later 

You let out a breath as you finally make it inside with everything for his surprise, then slip off your shoes before walking over to Joe who was examining everything.

“Damn, when the hell did you do all this?” He asked.

“I’ll never spill my secrets,” you chuckle as you take everything out of the bags. His heart was soaring because of you. You really did all of this just for him, making him feel the the most special guy on the planet. 

He watches as you take out the food, his face lighting up as he reads the name of the restaurant on the boxes.

“Cajun?” He asks.

“You know it,” you wink. 

You then carefully take out the pumpkin pie from the bag, setting it next to the delicious dinner.

“And pumpkin pie?!” He says, his eyes widening.

“I know you love my pumpkin pie so naturally I had to make it for National Joe-Day,” you giggle.

“You’re the best,” he said as he grabbed your hand from across the kitchen island, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“I know,” you gloat.

His eyes then navigated to the other bag on the table, the one with his gifts. He reaches over to open the bag, but you quickly swat his hand away.

“Mmm nope. No gifts until after dinner,” you say to him like he was a little child. 

“But it’s my birthday,” he pouts. 

“Food first then the fun stuff,” you say as you give him a look.

“Fine,” he says, rolling his eyes and then grinning at the smile that appeared on your face.  

An hour later 

“Mmm, that was so good,” Joe said as he downed his bottle of water. You’re both full of the delicious Cajun food, reminding you both of the taste of New Orleans. 

“Literally. We gotta go down to New Orleans soon for the real deal,” you say as you clean up your dinner plates and load them into his dishwasher. 

“I’ll book us a trip for this summer,” he smiles as he takes a seat on the couch where you join him with two plates of pie. A smile on your face when you hear him mention going down there with you. 

“Is it gift time?” Joe asks, already reaching for the bags.

“Wait!” You say as you stop his hand. “Take a bite of the pie first,”.

“Why?” He asks.

“It’s technically your birthday cake,” you shrug.

You watch as Joe just continues to stare at you, not really caring much about the formality of it all. “Please, For me?” You pout.

“Anything for you,” he states, grabbing the plates of pie and placing them in front of you. You grab your fork, breaking off a piece of the pie and raising it up to his pink lips. 

“Open up,” you smile as you try to feed him a piece. 

He opens up his mouth, allowing you to feed him a slab of the pie. “Happy Birthday to you,” you sing-song as you take the fork out of his mouth while he lets out a groan and looks very cute. 

“Mmm, Y/N. This tastes like heaven,” he says, covering his mouth so you don’t see him chewing while talking. 

“Thank you,” you giggle as you place the fork back down onto the plate and then reach for the bag of gifts, moving it closer to you. 

“Finally,” he groans as he gets comfy on the couch. 

“Okay, here is gift 1,” you say, handing him the sweatshirt that was wrapped up. 

He peels off the wrapping paper, his face going from smiley to confused. 

“Really, Y/N?” He laughed as he read the text on the sweatshirt which said ‘Are you still talking’ with a picture of Squidward looking absolutely sick of it. 

“Hey,” you shrug. “That’s quite literally you anytime you have to sit down for an interview. I know you feel like darting outta there as soon as they finish talking,” you chuckle. 

His confused face turns into a smile, “You’re right,”.

There were so many interviews or media appearances where Joe looked like he wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. He wasn’t a fan of interviews or anything that needed him to speak for an extended period of time. It was even worse if he had to sit there and listen to someone else talk for an extended period because it prevented him from leaving, so this little quote was very applicable to him. 

“Do you like it?” You say, your smile dropping a little.

“I love it,” he says as he whips his shirt off, showing off his muscular chest, and putting on the hoodie. 

“God damn,” you mumble at the sight of his very attractive body. 

“Hm?” Joe asks as he straightens out the hoodie.

“Oh, nothing. Here, this is your next gift,” you say, changing the subject and placing the Lego gift in his lap. 

He peels off the wrapping paper again, his jaw-dropping as he catches a peek at the gift. “No fucking way,”.

You bite your lip at his reaction, knowing exactly how bad he wanted this set but couldn’t find it anywhere.

“How did you find this?” He gasped.

“I have my ways,” you tease as you grab the wrapping paper and stuff it into the bag to clean up the mess as you go. 

“More importantly, how did you remember?” He asked, his heart feeling like it was ready to burst because of your thoughtfulness. 

“I always remember when it comes to you. Never forgetting a thing,” you smile.

“Oh we’re so building this later,” he says as he turns the box around to look over the visual.

“You got it, birthday boy,” you salute. 

You grab the last two gifts out of the bag and place them into his lap. He opens the Cartier’s first, already knowing what it probably was as soon as he sees a peak of the red box.

“These must’ve been so expensive,” he says as he looks at the sick shades you got him.

“Don’t worry about that,” you say as you rub his shoulder.

“You shouldn’t have spent so much, Y/N. All of this was more than enough for me,” he said, his soft eyes meeting yours.

“You go above and beyond for me, every single year. This is nothing compared to what you do for me,” you say, giving his shoulder a squeeze. 

“Thank you, for everything,” he says, grabbing your hand and gently rubbing your skin. He had to fight the urge to press his lip against yours and show you how thankful he was for you, and it was killing him. 

“Ah ah ah, I think we have one more gift to go and it’s my personal fav,” you say as you move the glasses to the table. 

“What could possibly top all of that?” He said as he started to open up his final gift. You stayed quiet, carefully reading his facial expression to see his reaction to the gift. He opened up the gift, his eyes widening and his jaw slightly falling.

“Oh my god,” he said as he observed the Sky Map. His heart skipped a beat as he started to take in the amount of thought you had put into his birthday. You really hit every single point and nobody had ever done this much just for him. You were extraordinary and you were magic. You belonged with him, and this sealed the deal. You were the most thoughtful, loving, and extraordinary girl he had ever met, and he wanted you to be his. 

“Oh my god,” he said again, this time looking over at you. “This is—,”.

“January 13th, 2020 at the Superdome,” you grinned.

“Holy shit. Are these the stars that night?” He asked as he examined the map. 

“Mhm. The stars at the exact time you won the Championship,” you replied.

“Y/N, this is the best gift I think I’ve ever gotten,” he says as he stares at the map a little longer.

“I know how much you love Space and Stars, and this night was very important to you and your Career,” you said.

“I love it. I love all of it,” he grinned as he put the map on the table, then turned to you and pulled you into his arms for a hug. He wanted to add ‘I love you’ to that sentence as well, but that would be too random. If he was going to tell you, it had to be more special than that. 

You melt into his chest as he squeezes your body, “I’m so glad you like it,” you mumble against him. He held you against him for a few moments, not letting you move one bit, and it was making the pit of nervousness in your stomach grow again. You wanted to tell him how much you loved him and show him how much you did as well, but you didn’t know if you should tell him now or wait for another moment when you were a little more relaxed. 

“You wanna go for a walk?” He asked as he pulled away from the hug. Maybe he could tell you then, he thought to himself. 

“Okay,” you smiled, maybe you could tell him then.

He got up from the couch, putting out his hand for you to grab onto. He helped you off the couch and you both made your way outside. The sun had set and now the sky was dark, the only light being the streetlights and the moon. 

“Thank you for today,” Joe says, breaking the silence as you both walk down the street together. “You really know how to make a guy feel special,”. 

“Anything for you,” you say, echoing his sweet words from earlier. 

“No girl has ever done this much for my birthday,” he laughs.

You looked over at him, seeing that he was being serious, which came to your surprise. “Not even Stella?”. 

“Nope. I think last year all she got me was some clothes, most of which were not my style, and a framed photo of us that I already had,” he says. 

“No way,” you giggled.

“I don’t care much for gifts, you know that, but like come on,” he said as he shook his head.

“Did she at least get you a cake?” You asked.

“Nope, she made me apple pie instead,” he said looking disgusted. 

“What?” You shriek. “You don’t even like apple pie,”.

“That’s what I’m saying. Apple pie was her favorite. And you know what’s even better?” He said.

“What?”. 

“She wasn’t even there for like half the day. She was too busy helping her friend with her little sister's birthday party,” Joe said, rolling his eyes and running his fingers through his hair.

“There is no way,” you said, your jaw falling open as you felt sorry for him since his birthday last year sounded horrible. 

“Yeah, so I really mean it when I say you’re the best person ever and this was the best surprise birthday shin-dig ever,” he said, flashing his million-dollar smile at you. 

“Well, if it helps, I didn’t really like her anyway and I’m pretty sure she hated me too,” you joked.

Joe looked over at you, staying silent and not saying anything to debunk your theory. 

“Oh my god? She did hate me, didn't she?”. 

“She always thought we had something going on. She literally would grill me every single time after we hung out or something, accusing me of cheating on her with you,” he said.

“No fucking way,” you laughed. 

“She used to say that even best friends didn’t spend that much time together and always thought we were hooking up or something. And then I did everything I could to make it up to her, but that would only last temporarily before she found another thing to get mad over,”. 

“She must be delusional,” you said, rubbing your hands together as you were starting to feel the December cold. 

“Wait, why didn’t you like her?” He asked. 

“Her vibe was off. She also didn’t really seem like your type in my opinion. She was too flashy and hyper and you’re-–”. 

“Lowkey and Calm?” He interrupts.

“Exactly,” you chuckle. 

“Yeah, she really wasn’t the one,” he sighed. “At one point she literally told me to pick between you and her,”.

Your heart sank at the words that came out of his mouth. “What?” You asked, feeling a lump in your throat. 

“That’s why we broke up,” he admitted. “I chose you,”. 

He chose you. He chose you over someone that could have been his forever. 

“Joe, I’m so sorry,” you said, looking down at your feet as you both kept walking around his neighborhood.

“For what?” He laughed.

“For making her make you pick,”. “If it wasn’t for me, maybe things would’ve been different for you guys,” you say, feeling a little guilty at indirectly ruining his relationship. 

“That’s not your fault, Y/N. She wasn’t the one anyway, and everything about her showed that. That was just the final nail in the coffin,”.

“I just wish you could’ve told me in the moment,” you said.

“Well, I am now,” he shrugged. “And I know you don’t really like talking relationships with me anyways,”. 

You didn’t like to talk to him about his relationships because all these years you wanted to be the one in a relationship with him, and the mention of other girls always made you bitter. 

“That’s fair,” you giggled. “Anyway, enough with the depressing topics. It’s your birthday, no need to dwell on past heartbreaks,”.

“Yes, Ma’am,” he salutes.

“Are you excited for the game tomorrow?”. 

“Very. I feel really good about where we’re at right now and my body feels good too,”.

“That’s great,” you beam. “I’ll never get tired of the feeling of game day,”.

“I hope not,” he laughed. “You’ve been a part of basically every game day for the last four years. If you got sick of it, I think I’d actually lose it. I need you up there at all times to be fully locked in,”. 

You smiled at his silly thoughts. He didn't need you to be the already exceptional and phenomenal quarterback he was, but that was sweet of him to say.

“God, I wish we could do this for the rest of our lives,” you giggled. “Everything is so much easier when it’s just us without all the chaos that is our life”. 

Joe’s heart fluttered at the thought. What if you could do this forever? His heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest; this was it, this was his chance to tell you how he felt. Those feelings he’s had inside of him for years were finally about to come out.

“So then let’s do it?” He blurted out, stopping and looking over at you. The streetlight casting a direct glow on the both of you on the dark street. 

“What?” You said, stopping and sporting a confused look on your face.

“Do this with me. For the rest of our lives,” he said. 

Was he being serious, you thought to yourself. 

“Joe—,”.

“You’ve been with me through everything for the past 9 years. The one thing in my life that’s stayed consistent for as long as I can remember. The most special, kind-hearted, loving, and beautiful girl I’ve ever known. When I’m with you, I feel like I’m flying. You make me forget about all the background noise and make me feel like just a guy. I want to feel that feeling for the rest of my life. I’ve been trying to figure out how and when to tell you,”. 

“Joe, I—,”. 

“No, let me finish,” he interrupts as he holds your hand. “I have to say it because I’ve been holding this in for way too long. Y/N, I’ve thought about you every single day for 9 years. Back at Ohio State, I knew I liked you from the moment I saw you. I knew you’d be a special part of my life and when I went to LSU and you stayed by my side, that was solidified. You’re the only girl that makes me feel fireworks. You’re the only girl that I think about and you’re the only girl I want to think about. No girl has ever come close to making me feel the way you do. My mind has been spiraling for the past few weeks because of you, Y/N. You’re the only girl I’ve ever truly loved,”.

Loved. He said he loved you. He loved you this whole time, and you were too blind to see it. This entire time you thought he didn’t feel the same way about you, but he did. He has felt the same way about you for just as long as you did. You felt like you were about to pass out, your flushed face & your silence were saying everything. 

“Y/N.. say something. Please. I hope I didn’t just fuck everything up, but I had to tell you. I couldn’t keep it in anymore,” he said, squeezing your hand. 

“Joe..” you say, breaking your silence and meeting his eyes, which were filled with love. “What are we?”.

“What do you mean?” he laughed. “I’ve been wrapped around your finger this whole time?”.

Your solemn face breaks into a smile as you realize what he is saying. “You– You really love me?”. 

“I really, really, love you,” he grins.

“Guess what?” you ask him.

“..What?” he asks, letting go of your hand and feeling nervous all of a sudden.

“I love you too,” you blush, even harder than you were before. 

“Really?” he asks, trying really hard not to freak out.

“Really. I’ve loved you since we were just two college kids trying to get through that awkward stage of life together. I never said anything back then because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship, so I buried those feelings and moved on. Or so I thought. But as we got older and time went by, I realized those feelings didn’t go anywhere, and more importantly, you didn’t go anywhere. No other guy has ever had an effect on me like you do. Those fireworks your mom talked about, I only feel them with you,”. 

“Kiss me,” Joe blurted out, turning red at the fact that he just said that.

“You aren’t serious–” you reply.

“I so am,” he says as he grabs your waist and pulls you into him, crashing his soft lips against yours. 

Electricity. Kissing each other felt like pure electricity. It felt like you were coming home after a long day or getting a sip of cold water on a hot summer afternoon. Comforting & Refreshing.

His lips molded against yours perfectly as you moved your arms around his neck to pull him in closer. His hands slid up and down your waist, relishing every single part of your body as you moved one of your hands into his hair, pulling at the soft strands. The warmth of both your bodies protects you from the frigid and dark night around you. He whimpers into the kiss because of you pulling on his hair, causing you to break away. You press open-mouth kisses around his jaw, then press kisses all around his face, causing him to laugh.

“I can’t even begin to tell you how long I’ve been waiting for this,” you say, pressing your forehead against his.

“We have all the time in the world for you to tell me, and show me,” he winks.

“Already trying to get in my pants, Burrow?” You flirt.

“Uhh yeah," he says straight up. "Have you seen yourself? Absolutely Sexy and Breathtaking,".

"Besides, I think we can skip the ‘getting to know each other phase’ since we’ve been in that for a longgg time,” he says before he presses another kiss to your lips. 

“Didn’t you say that a few years ago after you won the AFC championship and called me Mrs. Champ?” you say, recalling that moment from a few years ago, the same moment from the photo Joe saw on your side table in your apartment.

“You really don’t forget anything do you?” He smiles.

“Like I said, when it comes to you, I never forget anything,” you smile, then press another kiss to his lips. 

“I love you,” he says, staring deeply into your eyes, in which he finally found what he had been looking for all these years, love. 

“I love you so much, Joe,” you grin. 

An hour later 

After your eventful walk, you make it back to his house, immediately following him into the kitchen for some hot chocolate he said he was going to make to fight off the cold. 

“Ah ah ah, you go sit down. I got this,” he says as he turns you around and pushes you towards the couch. The smile on your face gets bigger as you hop over to the comfy couch. 

A little later, he brings over two mugs of Hot Chocolate along with the rest of the Pie for you both to dig into. He hands you your mug, then plops down onto the couch next to you, opening his arms for you to curl up next to him. You rest your cheek against his chest as he settles his arm around your shoulder. 

“This feels right,” he says as he takes a sip of the chocolatey beverage. 

“So right,” you say, wiping the milky drink off your lips. “Everyone’s gonna lose it when we tell them. But I mean, most of them already saw it coming from a mile away”.

“Wait, so does this mean you’re my girlfriend?” he asks, looking down at you.

“Does this answer your question?” you mumble as you press a kiss to his chocolatey lips.

“Oh yes, yes it does, girlfriend,” he smirks. 

“Good, boyfriend,” you giggle. “I can’t even imagine what the fans are gonna say once they figure it out,”.

“I mean, most of them thought you were my girlfriend anyway,” he shrugged. 

“I can’t believe even they could see it before we saw it,” you said, referring to the love between you both. 

“We must be really oblivious,” he laughs as he takes another sip of his drink.

“Must have been really oblivious,” you correct. “Oblivious no longer,”. 

“Right, oblivious no longer,” he says, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Thank you for making this the best birthday of my life,”.

“You’re welcome,” you say, meeting his eyes again. “But get used to it. Next year will be even better, and the year after even more better,”. 

“Can’t wait,” he sighs as he rubs your shoulder, his brain now filled with thoughts of the future. Everything was perfect and brighter now that he had the comfort of knowing you were going to be by his side forever. Was it a little early to think about that? Sure. But he knew that you were the one. 

Your brain was also much more relaxed and free now that you had the man of your dreams with you, hopefully forever. Those anxiety-filled thoughts had left your mind and were replaced with thoughts of love and hope. He wasn’t going anywhere, and you were all his. 

You finish drinking your Hot Chocolate, and Joe does the same, so you take both of your mugs and place them on the table. Then, you move back to him, this time settling in his lap. He wraps his hands around your hips and presses his lips against yours again. 

“I’ll never get tired of that,” you mumble against his lips, going back to the kiss.

“We’ve got 9 years of kisses to make up for so you better not,” he says as he moves your hair out of your face. 

“I can’t believe this is real life,” you confess as you stuff your head into his neck, feeling his hand slide up and down your back. 

“Well, you better believe it because this was meant to be. You belong with me,” he whispers into your ear. 

You pull your face out of his neck, meeting his gentle eyes that are still filled with love, and passion exclusively reserved for you. “And you belong with me,” you say before kissing him again. 

–The End–

part 3

[alreadyblondenow]

F*CK, MARRY, K*LL: VOLUME I | Jeong Jaehyun (MOOD SAMPLER)

▸ Assassin Jaehyun x Assassin Female reader ▸ Smut, Smut, Smut, Fluff, Angst, Gore, MATURE ▸ JAEHYUN SMUT SERIES: FUCK, MARRY, KILL ▸ Teaser/ Mood sampler for VOLUME I

Summary: The start of a new life. Training to be an assassin and a chance to experience true love. The son of the leader of the Jeong clan fell in love with you while you two live your lives as assassins. He promised a quiet life, but when things went south. You decided to leave Jaehyun… and hide your daughter from him.

Warnings: Smut, smut, smut, MATURE THEMES, Heavy description of killings because most of the characters are assassins, mentions of blood, character death, unprotected sex, mentions of condoms, mentions of pill, pregnancy, swearing, mentions of alcohol. I hope I did not forget anything.

A/N: I will try to put warnings on every part of the story that has gory details. This will still focus on the love story but still I wanted to write again so this may be long. I hope everyone will enjoy every word of VOLUME I.

SMUT AFTER THE CUT

Dreaming.

He was aware that he’s dreaming.

“Good morning,” he hugged you from behind in this cold morning. You were happy he’s back to his normal self and gave him kisses that are long overdue. Innocent kisses that are sweet but wet, you can tell by the way his tongue moves that he missed you too. The way his kisses are soft but you know he’s up to something even more.

His hands were swift to remove your sleep wear until you’re naked beneath him as the morning sun hits you perfectly. You watch him remove his sweatpants and underwear and he was excited to go back to your lips again. He missed being on top of you, being able to see the woman that he loves like this again.

“I’m sorry if being like a horny teenager this morning. I really missed you” he apologized and kissed you again, hands reaching both of your legs and spreading them wide while you check your slit with your right hand if you’re wet already and you’re ready for that cock of his.

“Don’t apologies, you’re not a stranger” you whispered sweetly while you pump his cock and kiss his lips. He didn’t wait for another second to push in. He couldn’t wait anymore.

He missed your warm walls. He missed your lips. He missed hearing your moans beside his ears he missed your touch. Your hands are around his neck. Never leaving his skin and continuously pulling him back closer to you whenever he tries to pull away for a different sex position. He let out a soft laugh, kissing the shell of your ear and making you weak. The way he fucks you this morning is soft, as if he’s really telling you he missed you.

The way his cock goes in and out of your hole, slowly but deep. It was addicting. Then he flips you around, putting you on your stomach but never leaving your lips. He pushed in again while your legs are still closed, making your hole tighter to Jaehyun’s liking. This is how he wanted it. Tight and slow, but giving you hard thrust while hitting the right spot. “Fuck,” you said and catch your breath. You felt your high come down already but Jaehyun is still building his. What the fuck you thought with a smile. You feel his lips travel around your back, his strong arms wrapped around your body, touching, pinching and even smacking your skin oh so lightly it tickles you.

“Marry me”

He suddenly said.

“Marry me,” he repeated it while thrusting deep inside you. You tried looking back at him to see his eyes but he was quick to catch your lips and fuck you faster. He was near.

He flips you again so he could see your eyes and beautiful face, still waiting for the sweet answer. Hopefully. He was working hard for it, as you can see.

Rubbing his hand on your hard nipples as he fucks you slow and deep. His lips never leave your lips, telling you how much he loves you. He reached for you hand and intertwined it with your yours, “Marry me,” he asked again, this time looking at your eyes and left a kiss your lips which made you completely stunned… and all you did was nod your head with a smile as an answer.

You saw how Jaehyun’s face lit up the moment you answered him. How he was genuinely happy. That you finally said ‘yes’.

He let go of your hand and put on your legs, spreading then wide while he pushes deeper. You watch Jaehyun moan on top of you, eyes closed, eyebrows furrowed. He was really hard and you feel it stretch you every time he push right back in.

Faster he fucks you, making your boobs bounce and making you moan so loud. By the time he reaches his high his thrust were harder than before almost hurting you with the impact. But the hurt was so good it’s addicting.

He rested his head beside your ear, putting all of his weight on top of you. Oh you love it when he do this…

“I love you. Thank you for saying ‘yes’ I will make you the happiest girl in the world-“

“You already did Jae,”

He smiled and caged you with his strong arms. It was a good day. A good day to start together.

But again, Jaehyun was only dreaming of this memory.

It was the last time you two made love. The last time he showed you how much he loves you before he fucked up.

As he opens his eyes… todays marks a day that he will never forget.

It’s been three years. It’s been three years since he started waking up alone. Three years since everyone from the squad stopped working for the Jeongs. Three years since you, Taeyong and Yuta left Jaehyun. Three years since Mark’s passing. Three years since you and Jaehyun broke up.

It was the slowest year for everyone. Adjusting to your new life, adopting to the way of living in the real world, and finally tasting the peace that you’ve been working for your whole life. For three years… you haven’t killed anyone. But living in a peaceful place with your friends doesn’t mean that your life is happy. There are still dark moments that will last only a few second or a few minutes. Dark moments that you carry as burden and still punish you the moment you close your eyes and remember the day when you left Jaehyun. The day when he chose power over you.

It wasn’t chaotic as you thought it would be. You and the others thought that leaving would be so difficult that it could turn into a blood bath. But no. Jaehyun let everyone go peacefully.

During the years of living without him, he kept on calling you. Day and night, asking if you’re okay and if the others are well.

“Do you guys need anything? Monthly groceries?” You chuckled at his offer, which made Jaehyun smile through the phone because he miss hearing you laugh, “protection maybe? I’ve been training new guys”

“No Jaehyun, were fine. Everyone’s fine” you said calmly. Hoping that Jaehyun wont get hurt knowing that everyone is completely fine without him. Of course he was hurt, he couldn’t even accept the fact that you and the others left him. He’s still in the process of acceptance, even though it’s been 8 months already.

“How about I visit? Before I leave for Japan-“

“Japan? Why?” Your heart was beating so fast… he can’t know where you and the others are located. He cannot know that the Nakamoto clan took you and the others in. Jaehyun will definitely get mad and jealous.

“I have business with a few gangs.. well you know how this works already no need for details” he faked a laugh. “Why don’t you want me to visit you? Are you hiding something?” Jaehyun said. You will never get used to this new Jaehyun. It was as if the Jaehyun you fell in love with is completely gone. This new Jaehyun is scary, straightforward and dangerous.

“No, Jae. We are still adjusting to this new life it’s a total mess here” you laughed, “Taeyong is baking everyday because he sells breakfast breads, Yuta sells sushi, I can’t even do laundry- I mean come on, do you really want to witness us struggling?”

You both laughed at what you said. Of course you answer him truthfully, everyone is still adjusting… but you’re the one who’s adjusting the most. He cannot know about your daughter. He cannot know that after you left him, you found out that you’re pregnant and he’s the father.

Of course you don’t want your daughter to grow in the same environment that you grew in. No way. And that is why you try your best to stay away from Jaehyun. For your daughter’s sake.

But after three years of hiding… after three years of lying, you are finally ready to meet Jaehyun again.

It was a cold morning, and today is the day that he get to see the love of his life again after three years. A lot has change. He changed. You changed. The world changed. But the only thing that did not change and cannot change is his feelings and love for you.

Today he’s exhausted. It was a bloodbath last night. His hands smells like blood and his body was really sore. Over the years of being far from you, he cannot be happy, he haven’t been laughing or enjoying life now that he’s the second most powerful man in the business world. No one dares to touch him. But still… Everything feels wrong he thought.

Over the years he developed this anger towards you but still he loves you very much. He hated himself whenever he thinks that he hated you… and this meeting, this reunion, he will ask you- no, he will beg you to stay with him and come back to him. Even though he finally found out about your kid. The father? He’s still clueless.

Just before you invited him over, he found out about you and your daughter. He was furious. How could you do this to him. He has his thoughts, his imagination gone wild. Maybe you sold yourself because you became poor and got pregnant, maybe Yuta was the father, maybe you adopted the kid. But it never crossed his mind that it was his. That he was the father.

Not until after he saw the kid in person.

Today, he was planning to watch you lie to his face and give you credit for your acting.

Now that Jaehyun is in front of you again. He looked scarier than ever. Still handsome. But scarier. Your home became cold the moment Jaehyun stepped inside it. It was like darkness was following him always. There’s no sign of the Jaehyun you fell in love with anymore. Whose presence is always warm… he’s gone. Completely.

“You look tired,” you gave him a hug which he missed the most. You on the other hand, smelled the blood immediately.

“Were sorry if it took us so long to invite you over— it’s my baking skills, I finally mastered baking and I’m officially an owner of a pastry shop” Taeyong was happy so announce. Everyone was happy for him, even Jaehyun, deep inside.

But all he could show is a small smile while looking at the floor. Legs crossed, and looking like the boss the powerful boss that he is. Truth be told he has no interest with Yuta or Taeyong anymore. He only cared about you. And your lie.

“It’s peaceful here,” he finally talked. His first words. “I see why you would rather live here with the Nakamotos instead of me. You would rather embrace the simple life instead of being grateful to the mercy that my family gave you”

Hearing that, Yuta was quick with his katana and pointed it towards Jaehyun’s neck without hesitation. The blade was still covered… because Yuta still… cannot disrespect their friendship. Unlike Jaehyun, who threw everything away already.

Jaehyun didn’t even flinch, he just move the sword away from him before he continued talking again, “Please come back to me Y/n, while im still asking nicely” he said with cold eyes.

And those words ruined your peace already. The peace that you and the others build for three years, the freedom, the happiness. You of all people in this room knew that Jaehyun will not stop until he gets what he wants.

“Jaehyun leave” Taeyong asked nicely. Trying so hard not to push Jaehyun and start a fight.

But Jaehyun still hasn’t removed his gaze towards you. Maybe because he just missed you. Maybe because it’s because he hasn’t seen your face in a very long time. You’re still lovely as ever. Motherhood looks good on you but he cannot accept that yet.

At this time… he was lost in your eyes.. but then, he heard someone… someone who called you ‘mom’

Jaehyun almost lost it when he saw the kid. When he saw you carry your daughter and protect her with your strong arms from her own father. Jaehyun knew right then and there that… the kid is his. He almost teared up, hand shaking as he tries to reach for his daughters hand and say,

“Hello beautiful princess,” his ice cold heart instantly melted when he saw her. He smiled genuinely.

“Jaehyun I want you to meet my daughter,” you said bravely. You didn’t even lie to him, Jaehyun thought. It would be better and easier for him if you did. And that’s what made Jaehyun furious.

You’re shameless.

And just like that Jaehyun’s scary aura came back, scaring the clueless kid with his gaze, “hey princess, can you help me know who’s your dad?”

“Jaehyun- you’re scaring her. Taeyong can you step out for a bit with her?” You handed your daughter safely to Taeyong in which you have nothing to be afraid of.

“I’m the father Jaehyun-“ Yuta said but Jaehyun did not let him finish.

“Bullshit,” Jaehyun said with a smirk, “she has my dimple. My lips, my eyes… how could you do this to me Y/n? Hide my own daughter from me?”

“She’s not yours!” You tried to lied again. But he’s not buying it.

“It’s been over three years since you left me Y/n, but you… you can still break my heart over and over again” he chuckled and prepared himself to leave, “I’ll give you a month to come to me. Come back to me with my daughter. Come back now, while I’m still asking nicely”

[iamavillainandtodayismydayoff]

I ended up reading 4 volumes in one go and MAN!!!

Both of them are equally crazy 0-0 i love it!

I really appreciate Yoshino who might not think of herself to be as strong as others but always stands up for what she believes in like the times she defended Shouma from both his father and Kirishima just🤌🤌🤌

Also man does Kirishima not like the dose of his own medicine dfghjkl the moment the panel of "He finally drops the smile" came up IJBOL🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

But I do not understand why some people not like him because at the end of everything he is kind of weirdly adorable and very caring???0-0

And there is clearly something going on in here so I am VERY VERY VERY CURIOUS

Also I also understand why Shouma is ready to K|ll for Yoshino because hello??? I would be too!!!!!

ALSO also a special mention for Hotei, the father who stepped up!

[s-4pphics]

mourn. intro. (e.w.)

INTRO. 

WORD COUNT: 4.1k

WARNINGS: streetracer!ellie, dealer!oc, backstory lemme cook, parental death, mentions of overdoses, funeral, baby ellie :), oc intro… cackles evilly

A/N: last post til eid lol 

pay zakat. feed a family this ramadan. k!ll zios.

SEPTEMBER, 2009

ANGUISH floods Ellie’s chest as she witnesses decorative rosewood being lowered into the sopping dirt. It’s cinematic; watching herself from a bird’s eye view, floating above her own body. Her brain cranks at an alarming rate. Churning in attempts to convince her that she’s not actually here, staring dead at her mother’s casket. The grass sludges beneath her shoes with every unsteady shuffle of her feet. 

There aren't many people around. Three of her mother’s former work friends, a service dog, and the officiant. They’re hardly acknowledging Ellie; no one would be able to stop her from leaping head-first into the ground due to the lowering clouds. Buried and suffocated by grass and mud, a feast for the maggots, but loved eternally. Every cell in Ellie’s body thrums with anxiety. Just when she trusted that her mother’s health was improving, she woke up, shrouded in ice next to a limp body and an empty pill bottle on the nightstand. The same ones her mother took to sleep throughout the night. 

That was three weeks ago. She doesn’t remember calling 911. 

Her best friend — her only friend is gone. And it’s permanent. This isn’t like how her mother used to scavenge the streets until dawn searching for another job before Ellie woke up. She’s not coming back to crawl into their shared, warm bed, sleep for half an hour, then help her get ready for school. No more oatmeal in the mornings. No laughter. No joy. No symmetry. Ellie’s life is forever scattered. Beaten to death until she’s leaking venomous, black blood.

There’s a man that keeps staring at her with pity: familiarity crushes her every time they lock eyes. She kind of remembers him. Somewhat. She almost forgot her shoes before coming here. He seems more upset than her. At least externally; Ellie’s rotting from the inside. 

Her mother’s chamber is completely submerged underneath dirt within the next few hours. The man from earlier is much closer now. 

She jumps when he whispers, 

I owed your mom a favor. 

OCTOBER, 2009

Ellie hates Joel. Hates her mother for leaving her with him. Hates herself for not being able to save her from the claws of addiction. 

Joel’s home is always silent during the day. He gave Ellie the grace of letting her stay home until the Spring, but it’s too quiet. Music never plays and they never talk, and it’s driving her to madness. The silence makes her itch. 

Until the sun sets. 

She already has trouble sleeping. Her insomnia combined with the thunderous clanking that blares from the garage every night is enough to get her sobbing into her pillow until the sun rises the next morning. One night, the noise had gotten so uncontrollably loud that Ellie barged into the garage to shout every curse she recalled her mom screaming into the phone before bedtime.

She didn't expect, however, to see Joel’s legs extended out from underneath her mom’s wrecked ‘57 Chevrolet. Ellie could hear him grunting as cranking and banging of metal took over the space. 

… What are you doing? 

Joel rolls out from beneath the car on a creeper, face confused and smeared with dark sludge. 

Why’re you up? 

It’s loud. She snaps. Why is her car here. 

Joel sighs. Just trying to fix it up. 

For what. Ellie eyes the cracked windshield. She somehow remembers how a rock hit it on the freeway when she was six. Her mom was livid. She can’t drive it anymore. 

Joel’s face twists uncomfortably. It’s almost comical; the seemingly boiling child stands at a whopping four-foot-three with her fists clenched, burning holes through her bright yellow Spongebob pjs. Her glare sharpens when he mumbles, 

Kid… 

So you stole her freaking car? Her eyes swelter, brows hauled downward and hands in fists. He sits up straight, palms up in surrender, wrench in hand. How’d he even get back into their old house?

No, I — He rushes, She asked me to try n’ get it started again. That’s all. I… I shoulda asked you —

Ellie’s not sure why she’s so enraged, but she’s hollering with a pointed index in his direction, berating him, degrading him with sobbed vulgarities. Pushes him hard when he rises to comfort her. Eyes him with so much disdain that he flinches. 

She hates him. She misses her mom. 

The guest room door slammed shut with the click of a lock. She screamed for her mother for hours. Voice shrieking so loud that the neighbors came knocking after the first fifteen minutes. Cops pounded on Joel’s door and proceeded to conduct a wellness check on the household after an hour. 

Their presence made Ellie swallow her scorn. Ellie’s already received a small taste of what it’s like to be in the system. She vowed to never reenter as if her life depended on it. 

NOVEMBER, 2009

Joel made Ellie chocolate chip pancakes for her birthday. 

Breakfast is silent, per usual. Light clinks of utensils on silverware and breathing are the only proof of life in the room. Ellie refuses to touch the squared slices of pineapple. It was her mother’s favorite, despite her complaints of an itchy mouth after every juicy piece. 

Your mom and I… 

Ellie pauses, skeptic eyes connecting with Joel’s. He’s treading light, she can tell. The nerves in his fingers are evident; The sorrow in his eyes suffocates her. Joel’s gaze drops onto his plate at the scrutiny he receives from across the table. 

She’s a good friend of mine, He mutters before his lips turn downward. Was. 

Ellie snorts humorlessly, Way to rub it in. 

Joel’s eyes flutter shut as he sighs, I’m… Sorr—

Were you the one she told? Her tone is sharp. Unforgiving. I heard her on the phone a few days before she did it. 

A storm flurries in the man’s gaze. A familiar one; It’s identical to when she would catch her mother in the middle of night talking to herself with a bottle in her hand. The winds in his pupils take her back to one of the darkest times of Ellie’s life. Maybe they were closer than she assumed. They look identical when they’re guilty. 

I didn’t—

But he did. He’ll never forget being on the other line with Ellie’s mother as she attempted to keep her cries to a minimum. Her croaked wails terrified him. Left wounds in his chest as his heart raced. I can’t do this to her, She’d said, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t! … Please… You owe me…

Joel did what he could over the phone. Made promises to her that he couldn’t keep, reaffirmed how much Ellie loved her. How badly she needed her mother, and eventually eased her sobs into pained whimpers. He believed the calmness she exuded prior to ending the call was a sign of understanding of her importance, but it wasn’t. Her mind and body merely accepted her fate. She was dead two mornings after. 

And Ellie was a witness to it all. 

Ellie’s eyes roll and sickness floods her, so she stands, You’re a liar. When you’re ready to tell the truth… You know where I am. She doesn’t bother to push her chair in, clean her dishes, pause at his calls of her name. Her feet stomp through the hallway, marrow searing beneath her skin. The guest room door slams shut and she breaks, guarded by the plainness of the beige walls while tears flow. 

She knows he knew. Why else would her mother leave her with him? 

-

-

- 

When Ellie got up to use the restroom hours later, she nearly tripped over a teddy bear holding a birthday cake. With candles. She’s never received a gift before. 

She doesn’t tell him that she slept for an hour with it hugged to her chest. 

The noises in the garage halt for a week. Ellie still can’t fall asleep. Joel has the same problem, she’s discovered. She finds him sprawled out on the couch one night, burning holes through the roof with a picture frame in his arms. She watches him silently for some time, perched behind the main wall of the hallway. 

Hey. 

Joel’s acknowledgement earns a gasp followed by scuffling, and he snorts. He sits up and sets the dusty frame on the cushion in front of him, noting how awful Ellie is at hiding; It makes him smile. Barely, but he’s endeared; Her entire arm was exposed. He can even see her duck-shaped slippers from where she’s tucked behind the wall. 

Ellie. 

She doesn’t come out, and he sighs. His heart twists painfully when he hears a wet sniffle. He’s up and moving when a guttural sob echoes from the hallway, crouching down in front of Ellie with her knees squeezed into her heaving chest. Joel’s heart cracks at her flushed cheeks drenched in salt. Talking won’t calm her, he knows it, but he’s unsure of what else to do. Ellie… isn’t an emotional kid, but he hushes her, attempts to cradle, apologizes softly. 

But when her wet eyes pinch open, she unravels and falls into him completely. Her arms squeeze around his neck in a deadly grip and she cries and coughs and whines for her mother. Joel holds her just as tightly as she hangs off him. 

We're gonna be fine, sweetheart. He mumbles, and he feels her head shake in denial, tucked in the crook of his neck. His knees wobble, and a soothing hand rises to caress the back of her head; He's never seen a kid this hopeless. It makes him wonder. 

What the hell did she witness in that house? 

Ellie’s always struggled to fall asleep alone. 

Her need to be coddled to dreamland was always a mystery to her mother. Skin-to-skin was a normal trait for infants, toddlers, maybe even a little over, but at age ten? Eleven, and unable to fall asleep without the feeling or knowledge of a loved one present? There was only one time where she recalled her mother carrying her to her own room to rest, but the second the door clicked shut, she was up. Awake. Alert and exposed to harm. Or, at least that’s what she convinced herself. 

She crawled into her mother’s bed minutes later and snoozed throughout the entire night. She didn’t hear the end of it when the sun rose. 

Joel doesn’t berate her, though. 

I can’t sleep by myself, she’d said to him after she calmed from her breakdown in the living room. They’d sat on the couch as he rubbed a comforting palm down her back, her small ones coming up to wipe her wet cheeks. 

How come? 

She scoffed, Scared of the dark, I guess? I dunno. I just can’t. 

Joel hummed in understanding. 

I’m like that, too. Sometimes. 

Ellie snickered wetly, You’re old, though. It’s not the same. 

Joel scoffed and snatched his hand away in mocked hurt. I’m not old! 

The gray hairs say otherwise! 

That night was the first time they ever laughed together. The first time Ellie laughed since her mother’s death, and it carried on until she knocked out beside him on the couch. 

For Joel, though, he couldn’t rest. Not when Ellie favored his daughter that much. Whenever he feels as though he’s progressing, letting go of grief, something life changing — disastrous — forces him right back to square one. Meeting Ellie was one of those moments. He tried to keep his weeping to a minimum as he held her sleeping form, eyes glued to the picture of him hugging his baby after her first soccer win. 

DECEMBER, 2009

It’s New Year’s Eve, and Ellie’s trapped inside the garage with Joel. 

Watching him tweak her mother’s vehicle has aided her raging boredom… To a certain degree. When he starts getting nerdy and raving about car parts, she tunes him out, despite the slight interest she’s taken with underneath the hood. 

The connecting wires, the bolts, the valves and cranks and this manual makes absolutely zero sense—

Can you stop dillydallyin’ around n’ hand me that? 

Ellie’s gobsmacked reading is paused when she passes Joel the manual, dark sludge-covered hands staining the fading paper. She cringes. 

Ellie watches silently as Joel inspects the contents, nodding to himself as his eyes flicker from the vehicle to the booklet, mapping out his next moves of attack. His eyes sparkle and curiosity sparks in her. 

Did you fix it? 

Joel only murmurs to himself, and Ellie’s eyes roll. She inches closer to him and waves a hand in front of his eyes. Hellooo? Is it gonna start? 

… I think so, kid. His head shakes in disbelief, If I can get that transmission replaced, it might be alright. 

Ellie’s brows furrow… What on earth is a transmission? 

I’ve been workin’ on cars for a while. I can tell you now that finding such an essential part for a model this old is gonna be tough. Might cost me an arm n’ leg. 

Ellie shrugs, You’ll figure it out, old man. 

He stares down at her blankly, Gee, thanks. Hand me that wrench, assistant. 

Ellie mocks glee on her skip to the rolling cart, Gosh golly dang, does this mean I’m hired? 

He jokingly snatches the tool from her extended hand. Little bugger. And just like that, you’re not gettin’ paid. How’s it feel to be outta funds? 

WAAAAAAA—

Ellie’s fake wails earn her a deep holler. 

Ellie oversees Joel until the clock strikes twelve, following his line of vision on every rusted compartment of the vehicle. Stood attentively at his side as he pointed out the carefully crafted machinery, listing their parts despite Ellie’s protest of forgetfulness. There are so many names for everything; Building cars seems so complicated, but curiosity sparks in her. She starts to think: maybe cars aren’t so boring. 

Another sleepless night for the both of them; Might as well commit to movie night. Fireworks are still going off in the small neighborhood hours later. The booming colors in the sky makes Joel's teeth grind. Reminds him of the time he took Sarah to Santa Monica Pier. 

Joel? 

Mhm? 

… What favor did you owe my mom? 

Thickness builds in his throat the second Ellie mentions her. He sets the large bowl of chocolate-doused popcorn onto the coffee table, reaching for the remote to turn the movie down. Not off, down. Ellie hates feeling like she’s being scolded. 

Joel doesn’t look at her, but her eyes are glued on the side of his face. 

Umm… He scratches his face, Did your mom ever mention me to you? Ellie denies with a hum. 

Joel’s mind whirs back to the first time he met Anna: sophomore year. He was exhausted, drained, barely making it, but despite being miserable, he still cared deeply for his education. He studied until his eyes burned, jotted down notes until his hand cramped and the librarian was gently urging him to head home. 

She… We were friends in college. He fonds, We met at an ice cream truck. 

Weird. Ellie notes causally, She hates dairy. 

… Yeah. She does. Joel coughs to mask the brokenness in his voice. 

Anna was… a genius, to put it lightly. Academically gifted to an intimidating degree. Her mind was a camera; She’d scan one excerpt from the thickest novel once and still manage to repeat it word for word years later. They had comms together; Her voice sounded like tweeting birds whenever she recited her prepared speech like it was nothing. She was an emotional speaker, entranced everyone in the room, and always ended with a question that forced students and professors to self-reflect. Joel wouldn’t call it a crush… Merely admiration. Envy. He was motivated whenever he left comms. 

He’ll never forget the image of her, sweating and worn, carrying what seemed like a twenty-pound backpack — all stuffed with calculus books — while ordering a can of Sprite from the humming, beaten down truck. Anna didn’t leave after the vendor handed her the soft drink. She simply turned to Joel, inspected him from head to toe, and turned back to the vendor. 

I’ll cover whatever he gets, too. With a thumb aimed at him. He nearly choked. 

A free snow cone couldn’t halt the racing in his chest. 

I know what you are. 

What, He questioned without a stutter. 

You fix cars? Anna quirked a brow at him. Joel’s brows pull downward. How did she know that? He’s fixed one car since he’s been enrolled. His buddy pulled up in front of his dorm asking for a windshield repair. But he shrugs, feigning nonchalance. I dunno. 

The green-eyed girl scoffs and sips from her nearly emptied can. 

You down to replace a tire? Some jackass thought it would be funny to leave a rusty nail in our parking lot. 

Our. She must have roommates… or lives where he does, he thinks. For how much? Not a beat missed. 

Her shoulders lift, I dunno. How much does a tire cost? 

Depends on the model. What d’you drive?

A chevy. Don’t ask the year, I’m not sure. It was a hand-me-down. 

A slight pause between them before Anna suggests with a sigh,

Come see ‘er. 

-

-

-

Thar she blows. 

Joel can’t help but snicker at the woman in front of him, posing right next to her teetered vehicle. It’s quite charismatic; the bright pink bumper stickers, the crisp turquoise paint job, the slight scratch on the trunk. It’s nice. Classically vintage; it suits her. 

A beauty, he notes with his eyes locked onto Anna’s. She gives a hum in agreement. 

Revive her, if ya don’t mind. I’m desperate and can’t sue, so. Joel nods and inspects the damage on her tire. The air is nearly fully gone, and it’s making her drive slump. 

Tire shouldn’t be more than thirty-five… Gonna have to head home for some stuff. Willing to wait an hour? When he turns to her, they’re shoulder to shoulder. 

Anna smirks, Whatever you need, mechanic. 

My dad, Joel corrects, He taught me the basics when I was like… twelve. 

Her voice lowers, Good on him… Earned me a discount, eh? A hand claps down on his shoulder and gives it an encouraging squeeze, and he revs to life. 

He swears the tips of his ears are red hot, Sure… minus that deposit. I needa twenty for emotional damages. 

Fuck off. Her eyes are soft, Might never go to the shop again. You’re officially my car fixer-upper. Fuck these grease-balls n’ their price spikes. 

Joel snorts, You get into that many goddamn accidents? 

She leans in closer, and his throat closes. Slams shut. Turns to dust. 

You’ll find out, mechanic.

That’s why you’re spending so much time on it, Ellie notes at Joel’s retelling before a harsh gasp escapes her. Dude, were you in love with my mom or somethin’?

The man stutters and coughs, No — what? I told you she was a frien—

Ellie snickers with a judgmental point, Yeaaah, yeaaah, I know how these things go. You sucker! 

What the hell — I’m not a sucker… And what things—

Anna and Joeeel sitting in a tree! — 

A pillow smacks Ellie dead in the face, and she topples over in cackles. Joel rubs deep in his temples. Ellie would’ve loved Sarah. Two little bullies who feast on his suffering. 

No more storytelling. I’m going to bed. 

You can’t! Remember? Ellie hollers as tears fall from her eyes. She coos at Joel when he lifts himself off the couch and down the hall, trying to mask his small smile. 

Aww! C’mon, old man, it was a joke! 

I can’t wait for you to go back to school, ya vermin! 

-

-

-

An exhausted Ellie creeps into Joel’s room half an hour later. She sighs in relief when she doesn’t hear snoring. Her mom was the worst when she was tired. She tiptoes across the carpeted floors until she’s in front of the unoccupied side of the mattress, stealthily adjusting the blankets and pulling back the sheets. 

She slowly manages to tuck herself in, fixing the pillows so her head rests on the cold side of the case, exhaling happily at the warmth defrosting her limbs. 

The second she dozed off, she yanked to consciousness by raspy sarcasm. Her eyes roll underneath her lids.

You can’t, either. Joel croaks, Remember?

JANUARY, 2010

Five days until school. Five days until misery. Five days until… strangers. Ellie’s skin crawls whenever she thinks about being an enclosed space with snot-nosed boys and soggy lunches. 

And math… Gross. 

Joel has been more than willing to postpone Ellie’s enrollment whenever she becomes anxious, but she always denies his requests. She’s grown to like Joel, but… he’s not the best teacher, especially social studies. Reviewing one of her old packets nearly gave him an aneurysm. She can’t afford to be homeschooled by him. 

What's been the best distraction from her impending doom? 

Binge watching Cars for the billionth time… And helping Joel patch up that blue Chevy. 

They celebrated their first victory last night for repairs, at least: Joel stuck and twisted the key to start up the engine, and it managed to stutter to life. For less than five seconds. The headlights barely came on and an old Foreigner record broke through the crackly speaker. They rejoiced with the brightest smiles as their hands slapped the dashboard before the vehicle crashed out once more. 

A glimmer of hope. A chance for reconnection. Anna’s sending them messages. The joy in that car shifted to grievance; Joel had to cradle Ellie in his lap as she wept into his shoulder. 

But there’s hope. Ellie wanted nothing more than to get this car working after that. Duty calls, though, and the alarm’s coming from a backpack. 

You got this, kid. Stop stressin’. 

Ellie, without a doubt in her mind, does not got this. 

Screaming children, muddy slides, bloody band aids; they’re all on the other side of that office door. Her worst nightmare has come to life, and she desires nothing more than to hide out in her mom’s car forever. The bag strapped around her shoulders matches the weight of a body. She refuses to let go of Joel’s hand as he speaks with the giggly receptionist who’s too happy to see him (what the hell), but it's okay; he’s holding hers just as tightly. Just as paranoid, apparently. 

She’ll be with Mrs. Lawson for the remainder of the year. Ellie hears the receptionist say over her pounding heart, She’s incredible! I’m sure they'll develop an amazing bond. 

Ellie’s palms are sweltering. Joel must feel it because his thumb nuzzles into her wrist. She’s not built for this. Maybe returning so soon wasn’t a great idea. She can’t do this without her mom. 

Cool backpack, Spidey, is said from behind her, and she stiffens instantly. 

She has a Spider-man backpack. 

Hush. An older man’s voice replies. Sounds strained. Stressed, but he only receives a light snicker from her in return. 

Ellie watches with squinted eyes as a young girl gets escorted towards the front of the office by… the principal, she assumes? He seems fancy in his suit slacks. 

You stay right here until I get your uncle on the phone, The suited man is stern towards the girl, who plops down on one of the waiting chairs. Backpack and all, You can explain to him how you swore at a teacher. I’m not dealing with this from you today. 

M’kay, Mr. Harris. 

Ellie observes the entire scene indiscreetly. Her stares are obvious, glued to the clearly agitated dean who stomps into his office. 

Where’d you get your backpack? 

Ellie’s stunned at your sudden whisper. She shocks herself when she quietly stutters,

Um… Walmart? 

You smile, I like it. I want one. 

Ellie simply nods, but gets paused before she can redirect her attention to Joel. 

Are you new? Your voice grows quieter when you look over your shoulder. Right at the principal’s door. I am, too. I just moved schools. 

This shocks the brunette. The new year just started, and you're already locked in the office with evidently angry staff. 

Yeah… I’m new. 

Something in your grin shifts. Ellie’s nails lock into Joel’s hand. … Interesting— 

Young lady! Did Mr. Harris give you permission to speak? 

You audibly ponder like the attendance clerk asked you to solve a riddle. 

No, ma’am. I apologize. 

Then hush. Not another word. 

Ellie watches you fold your hands politely, twiddling your thumbs. Your eyes don’t leave her backpack. 

Ready, kiddo? 

Her eyes finally reconnect with Joel’s, encouraging and chocolate, and she nods. He guides her to the office exit where her new life resides. Before their departure, she can’t help but take one last respectful glance over her shoulder. She finds you staring with a quirked lip and your wrist outstretched like your shooting spider webs at her. Ellie jerks her head forward and releases the breath she’s been holding. 

What a weirdo. 

tagggiiiiessss :3: @inf3ct3dd @fleshunger @sawaagyapong @elliesbitchh @aouiaa @elliesatchel @williamellieslilho @elliewilliamgfooc @bready101 @myluvforstarz

[yazthebookish]

I avoid talking about the other ship specifically but I feel like letting my thoughts out on some arguments I see sometimes. Not that I have any interest in engaging in any discourse with the other side but it's my page so I can post whatever I feel like posting.

"Gwyn's purpose in the bonus chapter is to hint at her Lightsinger powers"

Okay, so you think one of the most important points about the bonus chapter is to prove Gwyn has luring powers so my question is what are the implications of that? Her drawing Azriel away from Elain? Azriel and Elain exposing her true powers in front of everyone to reveal she is the reason she's been keeping them apart? She is being manipulated by Merrill and Koschei? She has powers she's using unknowingly and can't control them so she'll need Az and Elain to help her?

You're setting up Gwyn to be prominent in an Azriel/Elain book because of her powers, so will they spend time dealing with other plotlines or mainly focus on Gwyn? Because that kind of thing definitely needs resolution since it directly impacts Nesta and the Valkyries dynamic.

So do Azriel and Elain's fantastic romance needs another female character to be used as a scapegoat to pin all their issues on her because the bonus chapter wasn't a good look on them? Or simply because his scene with Gwyn and with Clotho ended on a hopeful note than his scenes with Elain and Rhysand?

Gwyn is an irrelevant character and serves Nesta's story only.

But your argument is she has luring powers and is using them on Azriel, so will that go unaddressed? Then why would SJM throw hints about her powers if it won't mean anything?

Gwyn was used just as a marketing ploy in the bonus chapter.

She's considered a new character and no one knew she was in Azriel's bonus chapter and the bonus chapter was strictly advertised to be focused on Azriel, please be serious.

The bonus chapter is irrelevant.

The author confirmed she planted things in it specifically and in ACOSF in relation to Azriel so I would disagree. The great "forbidden romance" trope wouldn't exist without it and Azriel and Elain spoke to each other more in the bonus chapter than they ever did in the main book, I can pin-point the scene where they speak to each other only ONCE in a 800+ page book and it was about Nesta dancing with the Duke.

Gwyn has powers.

She's Fae of course she has powers but why is the immediate assumption that her powers are nefarious? She didn't harm any character and there was zero hints of her having any bad intentions towards anyone. She deals with survivor's guilt and her trauma, but she had many opportunities to let that evil secret side show but it never did. Why? Because she's obviously not set up to be an evil character or even one with questionable intentions. This is the same character who was ready to sacrifice herself to save her friends and stood by Nesta to face hateful males who wanted to k*ll them.

She's a Lightsinger.

Pretty easy to debunk because there is no correlation based on what we know and we never even see any Lightsingers. Even if she happens to be one, I believe it'll play out way differently than what some people try to push. And come on, Lightsinger and Shadowsinger? You think SJM wouldn't go for that dynamic? But for now I disagree with it since canon tells us they're monsters who k*ll for sport and Gwyn does none of that. Even if she had other different powers that are not wholly good, it's not a point of concern because many characters have questionable powers that did not erase the fact that they were good characters. It's like people never read fantasy books with characters who had dark powers but it didn't corrupt them, for some reason there's an insistence that Gwyn already caused harm despite the serious implications of having a character who is SA victim portrayed as someone luring other people against their will.

Azriel ended up at the library because Gwyn was singing during the service.

1. Clotho is seen at the service, so her being at her desk when Azriel shows up at the library is a good hint that the services didn't start yet.

2. For a singing power to work, the victim should be able to hear the singing and Azriel made no note of any singing at the library.

3. The image he sees of Gwyn's joy didn't pop up randomly, it was triggered by Clotho after she thanks him for the joy the gift will bring her and tells him that Gwyn deserves something as beautiful as this.

The shadows stay around him because they sense a threat but she's luring them.

How is she luring them when she's not even singing if it's been established that her singing has powers? Also, that statement contradicts what's in the text because the shadows were curious at start of the scene and by the end they were described to have calmed and were content to watch Gwyn. In ACOSF, they were seen dancing around Az when Gwyn addresses him.

Nesta reacted to Gwyn's singing the same way Azriel did.

Context matters and a lot of arguments that support this statement are always taken out of context. Nesta loves music so if she is going to admire Gwyn's beautiful voice, it'll be simply for that and nothing more.

There is no way to 100% pin point what caused Nesta to have visions of the Prison during the services but it doesn't only have to be Gwyn's singing but also the lyrics which were found under Level Seven and are written in an ancient language. When Nesta gets the vision she says she can visualize what the song spoke of, meaning the song itself could be talking about story of the Prison/Land of Dusk.

"But Azriel's shadows reacted to her singing"

— "How was the party?" Her breath curled in front of her mouth, and one of his shadows darted out to dance with it before twirling back to him. Like it heard some silent music.

Silent music, not singing. Not song. Just like how Hunt mentioned hearing some beautiful music between his and Bryce's souls. Just like how Nesta and Cassian when they consummated their bond heard the music between their souls. Strong sign of Mateism friends.

"But Azriel still heard a beautiful singing, not just music."

— Azriel entered the warmth of the stairwell, and as he descended, he could have sworn a faint, beautiful singing followed him. Could have sworn his shadows sang in answer.

Could she be singing? Maybe though unlikely since she returned to training to cut the ribbon right after he left. If she did, maybe the shadows like her voice? Maybe that's a sign they're fond of her? And if it's not maybe that's another sign that the singing they're hearing is the mating bond, which was once described as the Song of the Soul.

The Shadows having a reaction to singing isn't necessarily a bad sign, we saw them dance to Azriel's humming in HOFAS.

Gwyn returned to the library, her story is over.

I have to assume you haven't read ACOSF or skimmed it if that's the conclusion you came to, because there were clear signs that not only Gwyn but Emerie have ongoing journeys and they will leave where they are right now to see the world outside. Gwyn literally states at around the 70%-80% mark that she's sick of staying in the library for two years and wants to leave. She returned to the library because that's her current residence and where she works, it's not like she'll immediately move out right after facing the Blood Rite. This is one argument I can't take seriously because it clearly contradicts what canon points out and I think it's mostly out of convenience to invalidate any discussions about her healing journey and incomplete arc.

Casual readers don't even ship Azriel and Gwyn and have no knowledge about the bonus chapter

A lot of casual readers do in fact see a potential in Azriel and Gwyn as a romantic pairing because they have canon interactions in ACOSF. Plenty of readers shipped them even before they read the bonus chapter. Casual readers are dismissed when they address that and are claimed to be hardcore shippers that hate Elain when it's not the case since they just point out what they think is the obvious in the book to them. Every casual reader will have a different opinion but for some reason if theirs is not in favor of Elain and Azriel, they'll be dismissed so that says much.

Just a hot take that I wanted to put out there since I'll be avoiding fandom discourse moving on (unless I feel like it Lol).

[mariabrightmoon]

Jinx was Suic.dal??

"Then stop me. Because no matter **how hard i try**, i just cant seem to die."

"Go on. I m ready."

"Or i guess, i guess you... you're really gone and...

THERE S NO REASON TO STAY HERE ANYMORE"

Except she meets Isha. But if Isha doesnt survive-

"Go on. I m ready." I saw some theories saying that:

Jinx build/painted the place in s2 e3 as her t0mb/fun3ral.

"I m glad its you. Had to be you" apparently because she said in last épisode that Vi "made" Jinx. So maybe it felt like closure that Vi might be the one to k,ll Jinx

Then wonder why she s so relatable

[cthonic-bunny]

hay what do you think of 8h stellium in a composite chart??

If this relationship ends, you will probably never be the same. You two are transformed into two unrecognizable people as a result of the lessons you learn from one another. Your shadow sides can deeply resonate with one another. You two get a lot out of your private time with one another. You can just sense what the other person needs and wants on a primal level. You never want anything to happen to them. They are your most prized possession, one that no amount of money can buy. I feel like there is a higher chance of codependency with this set-up. You two might feel like a shell of a person when you’re without the other. You two have an immediate agreement that this relationship is not to be taken lightly. “We either merge completely or you leave me alone.” You two might have your finances become completely entangled if you don’t monitor this enough. You can become addicted to one another’s energy. You want to possess them mind, body, and soul. If there were more than just mind, body, and soul, you’ll want to possess that too. You guys will never hesitate to share with one another. “What is mine is always yours.” You two construct your own void to escape in to, a cave that can only be roamed by one another. The sex here can be transformative and bring about changes in your perception of pleasure. You guys might dabble in kinks you once were hesitant to explore with others. Once you two can fully give yourselves to one another sexually and let loose, the sex can be extremely vulnerable and beautiful. You will find it difficult to leave one another even when issues pop their head in. If toxicity begins to control the reigns of your relationship, get ready for the uncontrollable tears, screaming, destruction, and exposure of all your ugly sides. You will shoot to k*ll. Saying the most horrendous things to one another, getting into their psyche, and then still feeling like you are unable to leave despite your resentment and disgust can be a possibility with too much 8H influence playing out in a dynamic. Breaking up feels like you can be preparing to mourn a real death. Just know that you can take the lessons you’ve learned and take on a fresh, healthier approach to life once you’ve moved on. Do not encourage toxicity in anyway because it can get out of hand and it won’t be “cute” or “sexy.” Your safety and wellbeing matters, and you do not need to compromise it to keep anyone around. On a more positive note, I feel like you two can share a lot of interests or have parts of yourselves you only feel comfortable revealing to the other. I feel like you can confide in one another and share secrets you don’t feel like you can tell others. This is another match that wouldn’t be phased by period sex. I feel like 8H relationships can be apt to get each others names tattooed. When you two are not together, I think you can easily find things to remind you of your partner. “I look for you in everything.” You two can really get each other the most wonderful sentimental gifts. I feel like people underestimate how great Scorpionic energy can be when it comes to giving gifts. They know what screams “you,” because they’ve made the time and effort to psychoanalyze you. You want to know what makes the other “tick.” You are keenly aware of any shift in the other persons mood, and want to right it immediately. You can dive deep into each others brains and work passed any trauma you may have. You two can experience infinite deaths and rebirths by being together. This couple could feel like their partner is the only one who truly “sees” them and understands them on a deep level. “You are the light at the end of this dark tunnel.” If the other one hurts you or acts out of malice, this will feel like they legitimately tore your heart out of your chest. Any sort of betrayal is extra hurtful, and can lead to irreconcilable differences. “I’ll never forget what you did to me, even if I’ve forgiven you.” I feel like these two can become more antisocial once they are together.

“I’d live off the grid with you.” (Funny enough, I wrote this sentence in January of 2024; in March of 2024, i reconnected with someone I have an 8H composite stellium with, and within the first day of reconnecting he made this joke to me lol)

[sakuraharuno156]

Canonical difference between Sasuke and Naruto in terms of their canon parings - a rant

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DISCLAIMER:

1. There are two caveats that I'll provide at the end with explanations behind them.

2. It will be in parts because i want to provide manga as proof, and Tumblr has a limit of pictures I can add.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now to the point

Who is the most important person in life for Naruto and Sasuke?

Let's start with Naruto, because for anyone who has read the series, it's obvious.

For Naruto it's SASUKE.

No doubt. Comparing importance of Sasuke and importance of Hinata in Naruto's mind is laughable. Saying that Hinata is more important - is straight up delusional.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Naruto, after a thought that someone can try to k*ll Sasuke, even tho he knows Sasuke is stronger than most of the universe:

Devastated. Hyperventilating. Unable to breathe.

Naruto, after thinking he destroyed the WHOLE VILLAGE, every villager, including Hinata:

Sad, sure, not sad enough to check on her, even tho he was in sage mode so he could feel she was literally dying.

Naruto, after seeing Hinata nearly die to the point she had to be hospitalized and felt the effects of it months after:

I'll fight you Neji.

(I'll also like to remind everyone that Naruto did jump at Neji, but not because of Hinata but because he called her a "loser" and said that every looser would stay a loser, which Naruto took personally. Even that whole fight means to Naruto not revenge for Hinata, but a revenge for saying that loser will lose. Read the manga.)

Naruto, after Kabuto just mentioned Sasuke's name:

Sasuke went there on his own will, but just the thought of losing him was too much for Naruto.

Naruto, thinking Hinata died protecting him. The only person that has ever said she loves him, to the person who wants love the most - dead:

Naruto - surprised, terrified even, but not bat shit crazy. He needed Pain to talk shit and say about love causing hatred. Pain had to continue the whole "everyone is gonna die" narrative for Naruto to explode. He can become Kurama in seconds, but he needed Pain to continue - to explode.

And then he didn't even check on her.

Naruto, thinking Sasuke died for him. Without the whole "I love you" stuff. Just a friend protecting him:

Well...

(A reminder, it was when the seal was very strong. Naruto wasn't using so much of Kuramas chakra, so it was WAAAY harder for him to go into Kuramas mode.)

Then Naruto checking on Sasuke (when he was certain that Sasuke died) and crying out of happiness when Sasuke turns out alive

And last but not least, Naruto ready to die with Sasuke. Saying it eith smile on his face. No mention of Hinata even tho it was right after her love confession:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You can ship NaruHina, but saying that Naruto would chose Hinata over Sasuke is a different level of delusional. The whole plot of the series is that Naruto would do anything for Sasuke. He would k*ll for Sasuke and die for Sasuke.

Sasuke is the most important person in Narutos life. Anyone who says differently has NEVER read the manga or just uses wishful thinking instead 🤷‍♀️

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I would even go further and say that the moment when Naruto was telling Minato about finding love that is not exactly like Kushina - he was talking about Sasuke. But it's not per se canon so I'm gonna keep it out 🤷‍♀️

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two caveats:

1. They would obviously put their children first - above anyone. So children are beside the point.

2. We are going to base it on canon material only. Anything that wasn't written by Kishimoto is irrelevant. So no, we are not taking novels or movies. It would be too long and it's not canon 🤷‍♀️