#i was out here fucking xisuma and tango

[shortfeather]

And today's "deeply distracting au while i wait for my wrist to calm down from attempting to write for too long" iiiiiiiiiis Subnautica! an inevitability for every fandom i'm in after a certain point tbh i just LOVE Subnautica... would love to actually play it myself one day when i have a better computer

ANYWAYS I'm spicing it up this time by mashing both games together and also really mixing up the hermits.

The premise is that the Hermatrix Convoy (HC), a trio of spaceships that travels together in a group as a defense measure against outside dangers, is on its journey. When they have to reroute to slingshot 4546-B, they don't think it's going to be a problem. Knowing the planet is uninhabited and that no other ships are nearby, they all go for the slingshot at the same time, separated by mere seconds.

The gun, of course, gets them all.

Hermatrix-1 crashes in a shallow part of the flooded surface in the subtropics (the setting of the first game) and completely loses the ship, though a dozen survive. Hermatrix-2 crashes in the arctic (Subnautica: Below Zero); their ship remains habitable for survival, but barely, and eight survive.

Hermatrix-3, the smallest of the convoy, manages to switch to planetside navigation and mitigates the damage from the crash. If they want to get off-planet, they'll need some serious repairs, but in the meantime they can still move through the water like a particularly clumsy and slow submarine. The problem is figuring out where they are besides "deep, deep underwater," and what exactly the giant lifeforms the scanner insists are out there are...

Of course, there's groups within each ship as well. The friend groups of HC's staff and passengers does not necessarily correlate to ship assignment, which only adds to the stress of crashing on a supposedly-safe planet's anti-spacecraft gun.

Hermatrix-1's survivors: BDubs (architect, passenger), Zedaph (theoretical physicist), Pearl (janitor), Beef (psychologist), False (metallurgist, passenger), Etho (navigator), Scar (actor, passenger), Hypno (gov't agent, passenger), Iskall (athlete, passenger), xB (xenohistorian, passenger), Jevin (communicator specialist), Keralis (doctor)

Hermatrix-2's survivors: Ren (captain), Xisuma (cybersec specialist), Gem (ambassador, passenger), Impulse (chemist, passenger), Wels (bodyguard, passenger), Joe (teacher, passenger), Cub (CEO, pasenger), Grian (shipwright)

Hermatrix-3's survivors: Doc (spacecraft engineer), Mumbo (architect, passenger), Stress (pharmacologist), Tango (mechanical engineer, passenger), Cleo (acting captain)

If it doesn't clarify them as a passenger, then they are a member of the ship's crew. Loosely based on s9 roles, if that wasn't clear - though some of these are definitely going to change because I don't know some of these Hermits well enough yet.

[lectern-fullcauldron]

my favourite bits from some hermits' first ever hermitcraft videos:

Joe: [very poor mic quality] "howdy y'all! Joe Hills here, recording as I always do in Nashville, Tennessee, and I seem to have found myself on the hermitcraft server, despite it being private and whitelisted, a testament to my ingenuity and the foolishness of others" GenB: "...Hypno, we've been hoodwinked"

Cleo: "oh there's a FUCK ton of horses over there... well, Joe's offline and I'm too shy to speak to everyone"

Etho: immediately just crawls into redstone and farms and gets distracted by bits of string doing block updates that he wants to figure out

Cub: "Land ho, Hypno!" a whole video of hermit chaos and running about with cub being pretty quiet only for him to unmute, run around calling everyone's builds beautiful and then add mineshafts to the Mesa before Mojang did

Impulse: mumbo, X, and tango doing their giggly impulse summoning ritual for redstone purposes

Xisuma: 48 seconds into the video, the active hermits (Hypno included) are plotting to hunt him down and kill him because they think he's afk

Doc: episode title: humble beginnings, episode opening: two and a half minutes of dramatic music as doc gives a third person camera tour of the server with the back of his head firmly in the centre of the shot

False: poor, quiet, wet cat just wants a job in some xisuma and mumbo led roleplay

Mumbo (this is the first hermitcraft episode I ever watched, btw): he's building a plaza and he needs the hermits to validate his fountain idea because what if he builds a fountain and the hermits don't like it? building is hard, btw

Gem and Pearl: in the pit, go. Get in the pit. Ok, now we can start

Keralis: "yo, yo, it's keralis", "no, I won't be doing a tutorial for this house because it's a pain in the ass to make", "me and survival is really shitty, it's not my cup of tea at all"

[ty-bayonet-betteridge]

it is really hard to find places for all 27 hermits in your au. that said i feel like the heist au HAS to include all of them for some reason???? just the idea of all 27 hermits crowded around a map in a warehouse as xisuma lays out the plan is fucking intoxicating to me

so. heres what i have for roles so far

Xisuma is the mastermind, and puts together the team immediately after being released from a prison term. yeah if im gonna parody oceans 11 im gonna GO for it

Scar is the grifter/conman archetype bc. come on. have you listened to that man talk his way out of situations

Grian is a pickpocket (and general thief but pickpocketing is his specialty)

Mumbo is our resident safecracker

Ren, False, and Cleo are all getaway drivers. (their plan involves two real cars since theres two many of them to carry in one vehicle, plus a decoy car.) they race and shittalk each other in the way that only old friends can

BDubs, Doc, Etho, and Beef were a team once, and have since retired, and X gets them to take on One Last Job bc if its a heist I GET TO DO THE HEIST TROPES FUCKIN. GET AT ME. Doc is their tech guy, Etho their thief/pickpocket, Beef was the muscle, and BDubs their distraction

speaking of distractions, Zedaph. he's an escape artist and his main role in the plan is to draw police attention, get arrested, and then get away.

Tango gets to be their demolitionist

Skizz is The New Guy because every heist crew has a New Guy for some reason

Joel is the inside man with SOS/Empires

Keralis is the second-in-command/confidante type character for Xisuma

not 100% certain what role Gem plays in Xisuma's plan but she ends up betraying the hermit crew and selling them up the river to Fwhip (they're siblings)

Iskall as their hacker. bc it has to be one of the redstoners and of them i think Iskall is the one whose aesthetic is LEAST tied to the actual physical/mechanical machinery/gadgetry and more to the informational/computational side

Cub is the supplier of the team's weapons and tech

Joe has the most connections with the criminal underworld and is a big part of the initial getting-the-team-together

that leaves Hypno, Jevin, Impulse, Pearl, Stress, Wels, and XB with currently no place in the au and honestly. thats better for a first pass than i thought id do

[thatstoomanysausages]

I think this game knows the Life Series 😟 (Tomodachi Life):

- Surprise, surprise, guess who’s had another fight😯😯😯

- GRIAN

- with Martyn

- As usual food was the de-stressor

- Specifically lasagna

- All solved. Who is surprised.

- Etho and Martyn friendship‼️

- SKIZZ IN LOVE

- IN LVOE

- JOE YES

- Confession in a classroom

- HE DIDNT SHOW UP

- OH MY GOD

- Joe has done this twice now‼️‼️‼️

- Skizz and Tango (besties) can bond even more over being ghosted by Joe

- I gave Skizz a gummy candy and he danced around the fucking room😭😭😭

- It cured his depression so quick, I fuck you not

- Joe: “I think me and Ella are friends, what do you think about me and Ella?”

- For context, Ella is the child of Ren and Pearl and I think 15‼️

- I’m rlly hoping he does not mean ROMANTIC

- Okay she’s a child so I don’t think it can physically happen👍👍👍👍👍

- X: “I think Mumbo needs a special someone. What do you think about setting him up with Martyn?”

- ARE YOU FUCKINF KIDDING ME

- AHASBANDS OR HOWEVER YOU SPELL IT IS CANON????????

- Martyn’s in a fucking ball gown😭😭

- IT WORKED

- OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDD

- CANONNNNNNNN

- ITS OFFICIAL MUMBOS GOT A SPECIAL SOMEONE‼️‼️‼️‼️

- We’ve got Scarian, Ahasbands, Smallidarity what the fuck comes next

- Joe love issue⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️

- FOR MARTYN AND GRIAN

- THE TWO ALREADY TAKEN PEOPLE

- SORRY GUYS

- I AINT BREAKING UP SCARIAN AFTER ALL THE TIME IT TOOK TO GET THOSE FUCKERS TOGETHER

- Chat… I’m scared

- Okay no ghosting…

- Damn he flattered himself and asked Martyn out

- HOLD ON

- XISUMA

- HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE PINING OVER MARTYN

- THREE APPARENTLY INCLUDING HIS OWN BOYFRIEND

- NEITHER

- THANK GOD

- HES LOYAL

- Oh now Joe’s depressed

- sorry babes go after someone single😭😭😭😭

- NOW REN HAS A LOVE ISSUE

- YOURE MARRIED

- WHAT

- ANOTHER CHILD HUYS

- Oh my god

- Brother please too many mood swings here😭😭😭😭

- Scar: “look inside my head” and what’s fucking in there?

- A cactus.

- “This is the sort of thing I think about”

- This is emotional blackmail of some kind I swear

- I cannot be doing this

- I’m actually being tormented by this game

- All it needs is a Scarian divorce and unfortunately it will be following canon

- These events are bullshit

- ITS NOT SCRIPTED

[give-grian-rights]

Hermitcraft Fic Rec!

HELLO. i have hundreds, HUNDREDS of hermitcraft fanfiction bookmarked and living in my brain without rent. Breaking this up into categories for some of my PERSONAL favorite fics in the fandom- including categories for shipping, crossover, and worldbuilding.

Some of these fics are from 2019 but generally speaking you don't need knowledge of past seasons you should be able to pick up on just about all of them. a lot of these are mostly included BECAUSE they're older and therefore, harder to accidentally stumble upon. put in no particular order.

If your fic is on here and you'd like it removed, send an Ask with the fic, a dm, etc

World Building

The Parting Glass / To Pass The Jungle You Have To Go All The Way Around - Sekrap.

Doc has been trying to forget. He has done everything everyone told him he should do to make the memories go away. And still the jungle calls for him. / He was a monster. Then, a man. Now, a machine. Doc, once a normal Creeper, was not meant to live. Let alone become a Player. He learned to speak, he learned to fight, he learned to build. Some things stayed the same. aka- the Domestic Creeper au.

____

Carpet Trick - CrazyCatMeow

You all know the double carpet trick right? What happens when that joint with a tired mad scientist meet.

Mob hybrids can't see carpets <3 extra silly and very lighthearted

____

Window Pane - blueticked

Tango and Impulse discuss the brand new presence of Helsknight.

It's not a coincidence that all the evil personas have red eyes.

Tango is a Hels, struggling with self-acceptance and his place in Hermitcraft, which was never meant to be for him. in my head ALL THE TIME

____

"I know" - KindaJustHere

Bdubs was used to death. He was used to being killed by his fellow hermits. He was very used to being killed by Grian. Maybe a little too much.

(This is based off Grian’s episode 61 of hermitcraft season 7 where Bdubs says “I know” and shoots himself) BDUBS SELF ESTEEM ANGST!! Griangst !!!! Emotionally fucked up Grian from YHS !!

____

Hiss and Scratch - TheNerdyTurtle96

Doc is a mad scientist who isn't afraid of anything. Actually, that's not true. His only weakness is cats.

exactly like it said it is . SO GOOD AND CUTE

____

For the Record - Anonymous

Tango shrugged. “Yeah, I guess I did. Xisuma’s teaching Impulse some Galactic Standard so he can cheat at enchanting or something. Apparently Xelqua’s, like, some sort of god in Xisuma’s culture? It was kind of unclear, I wasn’t paying attention when Impulse told me.”

“Huh,” Grian said vacantly. “How about that.”

oops! Grian is Xisuma's god. amazing

____ GrianMC - SixteenthDays

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Techno says frankly.

“You know,” Grian says again. “Your- Watchers.”

Techno squints for a moment before understanding visibly dawns behind his eyes. “Ohhh, you mean Chat?”

(On watchers, and Watchers.)

This IS technically a crossover but its more worldbuilding than anything else. its literally so funny. i love it

Crossover

These Days I Don't Feel Like Myself At All / Mercury (No One Can Unring This Bell) (Series Ongoing) - RoguishOne (DarkWolfMoon)

TommyInnit had died. Again. To Dream. Again. And it sucked exactly as much as he thought it would because he'd wanted to move on and have a chance to actually live this time. Seems he won't be getting that.

Then he gets pulled out of Limbo, but he doesn't wake up back in the cell with Dream or next to his bed on the server. He doesn't wake up on the Dream SMP at all.

Little does he know that this is the least of his worries.

i want to scream and cry and hypervenilate thinking about this fic series. literally cannot recommend it enough. your life will be ROCKED. THE WRITING IS SOOOOO OGOOOD . i just want to shake. i cannot put into words what this fic makes me feel.

____

Shells in the Foam (a Hermit!Tommy fanfic) - Cedarwhisp21

When Dream attacks Tommy in Logestshire, Tommy runs. Badly injured, he somehow manages to slip between worlds and wakes up in a badlands biome, on a server far from home, with no other players in sight.

The Hermits are surprised when a new player logs in, and confused when no-one's at spawn. Five days later, after waiting for the new player to introduce themselves, Xisuma uses his admin abilities to access their coordinates. He takes Impulse with him to welcome the new player to Hermitcraft, but instead of the beginnings of a base, they find something a lot more concerning.

NEEDS NO INTRODUCTION. the NUMBER ONE kudo-ed hermit fic . by my beloved. and using the one of the beloved au by pertrichormeraki . its so good and im sooo glad i was here for the ride of seeing it unfold <3

____

let me give you a piece of my mind - Interjection

Dream and Grian practice building for MCC, and hold a conversation in the process.

Or,

Grian gives an outside perspective on Dream’s actions. Dream is having none of it.

Grian is a fucked up lil guy <3 Dream is a piece of shit

____

He would not die - Nicoforlife

If phil could save only one person from this place, that would be enough.

Tldr I made phil a watcher :)

Watcher Phil and Grian !! ! !!

____

Scared as hell - Nhi_theuserof_this

Grian was one of the closest people to Fundy at this point. He wants to be honest, really, but with the rest of his family history being a total train wreck, he spends an awkwardly long time dancing around what he wants to say.

Tldr; Grian is Fundy’s uncle, Fundy comes out to him

OK SO THIS ONE. WAS BASED OFF ONE OF MY AUS but i had to include it. ok .short and sweet

It was just a game - QuasarsFaults (UNFINISHED)

Taurtis Has been on the server awhile now, he's made new friends, a really tasty toritos shop, a new job working with Concorp, and he's even made this really cool pirate rollercoaster. So why did his and Scar's idea go so wrong?

OK. so i honest to god cannot remember if this is my au or if i just partook in it. i think its my au. who knows. either way seeing this again makes me want to work on my own Taurtis-Became-a-Hermit-Instead-of-Grian fic

Shipping

heartfelt confession - mysteryguest

it shouldn't come as a surprise to iskall, he thinks, when he finally settles on a term that feels just right. and yet, it is. and it's dreadful, feeling that urge, that need to tell someone, without knowing if they would accept you or not.

at least he knows the person he can trust the most with this info is his boyfriend, mumbo.

non-binary and bigender Mumskull !!! coming out. finding identity. finding pronouns.

____

I Hate You (I Promise I Don't) - BewitchingNotes

If someone asked Grian why he was relentlessly pranking Etho now that he was finally back in Hermitland, he'd say it was just for pure fun.

To Etho, it meant Grian was mad at him.

To everyone else, Grian had a huge crush on the redstone user and obviously didn't know how to communicate it.

OR: Grian just wants Etho's attention, Etho misreads this as Grian being mad at him, Grian thinks Etho hates him because of his pranks and everyone else just wants these boys to communicate properly already. Grian's love language is pranks...i love it

____ A Study Of Love in the Universe Itself - 2point5

Love had a strange meaning on Hermitcraft, where everyone loved each other. 

OR

Joe looks into the different ways he loves some of his fellow members, and what that means for him as a human.

ITS A SERIES TOO AND ITS SOOOO GOOD i love it . Joe x Cleo x Bdubs x Etho . what more could you want. and their sexualities and how they perceive love is . OAUGHHGHGGHHGHGHBHGHFHHVIJXFSHDF IUSDHIUSAHDUIA

[daily-doodles-and-fics]

Eyes and Ears: Worlds Collide Chapter 7

Thank you all for the reblogs and hearts it means a lot to me

“Ugh.. what happened?” Phil asked. He was standing by the amusement park, —Scarland— something happened but he couldn’t remember what.

Grian meanwhile had disappeared. Where did he go? He ran into the amusement park and started searching for him. Scar was helping as well. They silently agreed that Phil was to search the back of the park and move to the entrance and Scar was to do the opposite. They searched everywhere but they couldn’t find him.

Finally, when they reached the building labeled HC TCG, they went in and found someone in the corner but it didn’t look like Grian.

This figure had a white mask over their face, it covered their eyes and nose of the upper face. They wore bright white robes with a symbol that looked like a rectangle had been broken at two opposite corners.

“Stay back! I don’t want to hurt you! Phil I need you to get Xisuma!” Scar loudly said. In a flash Phil was on it. Running out of the building and taking off to the sky. Thank goodness the server was a warmer one, that definitely assisted with flight, the warm air columns pushing him up and letting him gain more speed.

A giant citadel came into view, how they built this in survival was beyond him. He walked in and looked for literally anyone.

“Hello?! Hello!! Anyone in here! Kinda need to find Xisuma but I have no clue where he is!”

A flaming head popped into view around the wall. His hair was fire, but it was blue like soul fire. He wore a large jacket (which was understandable given how chilly it felt). “Hello! I’m Tango! Welcome to Decked Out Two! How may I help you?”

“Hey, I just kinda dropped in the server a few hours ago and long story short something happened to Grian and I need Xisuma, or X, or whatever the fuck you guys call him. “ Phil explained in rapid fire, he needed to explain this quick and clear and so far it seemed decent.

“First off, stop swearing. This is a PG server and we try to keep it that way, second off, yeah I’ll get him.” Tango reached into his pocket and pulled out his communicator which looked very advanced. It had a lit up screen with a good resolution, a camera, and was touch screen.

“Your comms are so advanced, ours are monotone green and black with a physical keyboard on them.” He stated, he was sure he sounded like a kid with that comment.

Tango chuckled quietly, “Perks of having some of the greatest redstoners on the server. You wouldn’t believe the kind of stuff Doc has done.”

“I’m sure I wouldn’t.”

Xisuma flew in, his wings went back to their resting position and he landed well.

“Couldn’t stay out of trouble for five minutes? What’s gone on now?” Xisuma asked.

Phil took a deep breath to soothe his nerves before speaking. “There was a lighting strike and then a chest appeared, it said ‘Found You’ signed by the Watcher assigned to my home server and then things go a bit fuzzy from there, then I remember coming to and Grian was gone, me and Scar found someone in the building in Scarland labeled the HC TCG. He was wearing a weird mask and had white robes on and it’s just- I don’t know..”

[definitelynotshouting]

Hello again! Im so sorry to hear you feeling well when i sent in my ask the other day :( hoping that the life series drop tmrw will provide a much needed distraction for whatever you need it to :)

-☀️

"I know the, um, this morning didn't go… very well… but… if I could—""

"Good, he thinks, but it's a rote sentiment, not half so vicious as it had been only hours earlier."

- oh??? 👀 i am looking

- Im assuming this is the meeting they had about taking grian back to hermitcraft (and the revelation that grian feeds on emotions to survive)?? Very curious

- Now that metaphor about the childhood coat being stained is a lot more painful

-☀️

"even stolen energy can't make up for that."

"everything he'd never had the first time he— well, when Grian, the real Grian— had died."

- "stolen energy" omg i am biting ankles over this.

- And the "real Grian" thing. Yeah

- This is one of those moments where grian's whole situation is so much more potent and vivid. Imagining living as myself, but knowing im occupying someone elses body, and having my very lifeforce sustained by others?? Its not hard to understand why grian internalises and hates himself for being "a parasite". Idk thats probably very obvious to everyone else but this is the first time ive really thought about all of what that entails

-☀️

"Starving hands reach out from the depths of his mind to pull him back, stumbling, under that dark waterline."

- Love how the word "starving" implies that G falling asleep is more of a survival mechanism forcing him under so that his body can feed rather than only exhaustion

-☀️

"he's pressed a knife to every promise he's ever made since the day he emerged,"

- shaking you

-☀️

"His existence lies in the shadows of these distorted fractures, jagged hopes and dented dreams, forever fated to cut his hands on the fragments."

- AHHHHJSLDHSJSVSN

- Man 🧍

- Dont have any words. Just tears.

AAAAAAAAAA SUN ANON I ALWAYS LOVE SEEING YOU IN MY INBOX!!!! Gods im so glad these lines resonated with and interested you, they were a ton of fun to write

I have a brain today so i can actually expand on some of the things youve pointed out instead of just aiming heart eyes at you for the compliments fjsndjsjejke so for the first point, yes!!! Scar and Xisuma returned to the others post chap 6 and were like "Well that sucked!! Wow!!!!" I wouldnt say theyve given all the information to everybody, because they themselves aren't exactly ready to discuss that beyond the immediately required basics, but everyone else was given the gist: convo went badly, Grian is being taken back to Hermitcraft on Scar and Xisuma's insistence. Both Scar and Xisuma feel fucking horrible for how that conversation went down-- nobody had a good time there. So while the plan is to eventually get everyone up to speed, they're sorta taking this time to be miserable about what was essentially a fight that ended in stripping Grian of his autonomy

There's also a little cross-communication happening here in the background, btw: Scar and Xisuma have a pretty big picture now, but Tango, Mumbo, and Pearl have been fed that false info abt the potions being potentially useful. So, yknow :) just smth to keep in mind there haha

Your point about how it almost feels like Grian falling asleep is a survival mechanism is spot on the money. It's essentially him falling into a state of low power mode, where everything but his most basic of functions is shut down for a brief time in favour of preserving energy-- i would honestly consider it more equivalent to a coma than actual sleep. Hence Tango's concern, and subsequent relief when Grian woke up; the entire time he was unconscious, he was fully unresponsive. So, yknow. Real nerve-wracking to see, especially after that prior full week of unresponsiveness as his body struggled to maintain itself.

Tango's role here is indeed deliberate, both on a watsonian and doylist level!! The reason however is the exact same for both: Tango is a little more removed, personally, from this situation. Grian was-- and is-- his friend, ofc, but he's not as close to whats happening. Meanwhile, Xisuma is in 24/7 server babysitting mode, Pearl is not fit to be a caretaker, and Scar and Mumbo were tearing themselves apart by trying to sit and look after him. So Tango got assigned caretaker duties 😂😂😂😂 it was an effective way to divvy up tasks and keep everybody busy, and somewhat hilariously, so far Tango is the only person Grian isnt supremely upset with for one reason or another. And thats why he's continued to stay in caretaker mode lol he is truly just. The only guy who can rn

I also just sorta think of him as a surprisingly emotionally savvy fixer-type, in terms of personality. Like. I think he just gets what people set down in front of him, yknow? Although hell if he knows what to do with it once he's got em. He fumbles a lot, sure, and he defaults to fix-it mode, but he is getting the message when Grian essentially says "i dont wanna talk anymore" without actually saying it

As for Grian and his headspace, rn, theres definitely a complexity at work here where he wants to die and is very genuine in that, but he IS also grateful he's seeing his friends. He cant deny that. As painful as it is, he still loves them very much, and ultimately he's trying to do this for their own good as much as for his own sense of punishment and relief. I think like... now that he's really creeping up on what he has planned, and the pieces are suddenly becoming a reality, theres a bit of dissonance he's fighting against to stay on course. He wants his friends happy; he also wants to die. He's so overwhelmingly tired; he is, as much as he feels he doesnt deserve it, glad to have his friends close. That sort of hopelessness mixed with a warped sense of comfort that he got to see and interact with them one last time. If that makes any sense. Its a bit of complexity i wanted to make sure i added in, because people are so rarely fully decided on any course of action they choose to take, without even a single flicker of doubt (and especially one so final as this). Im glad youve picked up on that, and that you appreciate what i was trying to set down with it!!! :D

This was such a lovely message, as always-- you are very sweet, sun anon, and i appreciate you lots :] i hope you're having an excellent day!!!

[wonderneverlandsystem]

Y'all- I'm trynna figure out who all fits as which virtue/archangel & sin/demon king (as well as other angels and such) for the Traffic Light Series and a bit of Hermitcraft. Martyn is Satan/Wrath obv obv. And I put Skizz as Jegudiel/Kindness. Scar as Mammon/Greed. Chef as Belphegor/Sloth, may he rest in peace.

To keep shit shorter while passing- Here's a read more button

And I have a few ideas for the others but. I am stuck on Scott. I dunno if I wanna put him as Asmodeus/Lust or Uriel/Chastity. I funnily enough feel like both fit. I was leaning more towards Asmodeus, but then I remember that he particularly disdains birds and water... A.K.A. Two things that Scott has big connections with lmao (Flower Husbands 'cuz Jimmy is a Canary, and Mean Gills, as well as icy stuff in Empires). But I also feel like it would be a funny and perhaps mean sense of irony if I placed him as that. Idk help-

Edit:

Thinking about maybe putting Jimmy down as Leviathan/Envy? OR MAYBE- If I put Scott down as Uriel/Chastity, I could put Jimmy down as Asmodeus/Lust- He do be getting bitches like every season-

Edit 2:

This is what I've got so far. If y'all have any ideas please comment (or reblog ig). If you can't see, Grian is a Seraphim, Pearl is a Cherubim, and Xisuma is a Throne.

Edit 3 &: Okay I went ahead. Updated.

Lucifer/Pride: Ren

Beelzebub/Gluttony: Lizzie

Leviathan/Envy: Tango

Asmodeus/Lust: Jimmy

Belphagor/Sloth: Chef (Rest in Peace)

Mammon/Greed: Scar

Satan/Wrath: Martyn [Mars-Winner]

———

Seraphim: Grian [Sun-Winner]

Cherubim: Pearl [Moon-Winner]

Throne: Xisuma [Void]

Raphael/Humility: Katherine

Selaphiel/Temperance: Cleo

Jegudiel/Kindness: Skizzle

Uriel/Chastity: Scott [Stars-Winner]

Gabriel/Diligence: Mumbo

Michael/Charity: Gem

Barachiel/Patience: Etho

—————————————————————

Edit 4:

Fuck now I'm tied between Etho & Tango for Temperance & Patience... They both also kinda fit Envy-

Nvm I got it figured out-

—————————————————————

Edit 5: I'm done for now.

Here's what I've got.

Edit 6: Adding the 4 Horseman.

Famine: Iskall

War: False

Pestilence: Doc

Death: Cub

[case-57-with-the-enclosure]

✒️ Fic Dissecting Time

My highlights for lost in the dark (he's got a heavy heart) chapter 1, by @definitelynotshouting

definitelynotaroughdraft (definitelynotshouting) on AO3

This dissection will consist of highlights and commentary on the transcribed fragments.

Please be sure to read the tags and cws, we're going by dead dove rulings.

Spoilers ahead.

This is by no means anything formal- it's the writer equivalent of putting all your toys on a single line.

The author has a very lovely rant here that gives the piece context- but im sure you know that, if you read their notes 👁 please read this fic. then come back and agree with me.

===================================

Rating: Mature

Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Category: Gen, M/M

Fandom: Hermitcraft SMP, 3rd Life | Last Life SMP Series

Relationship: Charles | Grian/Ryan | GoodTimesWithScar; Charles | Grian & Ryan | GoodTimesWithScar; Oliver Brotherhood | Mumbo Jumbo & Charles | Grian; Charles | Grian & Xisumavoid; Charles | Grian & Pearl | PearlescentMoon; Charles | Grian & TangoTek; Jimmy | Solidarity/TangoTek

Character: Charles | Grian, Ryan | GoodTimesWithScar, Oliver Brotherhood |

Mumbo Jumbo, Xisumavoid (Video Blogging RPF); Pearl | PearlescentMoon; TangoTek (Video Blogging RPF); Hermitcraft Ensemble

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Charles | Grian, Charles | Grian Angst, Watcher Charles | Grian,

Watchers, Charles | Grian Needs a Hug, Suicide Attempt, Suicidal

Thoughts, Starvation, Eating Disorders, Parasites, &lt;-- the watchers

are parasitic, Body Horror, Trauma, Eventual Happy Ending, Recovery,

Self-Harm, my guy be in SITUATIONS, Winged Charles | Grian, Identity

Issues, every single tag i add makes me realize how hard im making

grian go through it, rip king you'll get a happy ending i promise,

Misunderstandings, Worldbuilding, sooo much worldbuilding, Not RPF,

Not Beta Read

===================================

its been a while since I've read angst for the sake of hurting and yknow what? i missed this feeling of controled despair.

And, Grian realizes, with a flicker of– of something undefinable (he can't say it's excitement, because he isn't actually keen to die– but it's something. A bit like hope, a lot like loss, in the shape of grief and threaded, ultimately, with desperate relief) (...)"

(sobbing, wheezing, heart-ached) what the fuck. what the actual fuck.

The devastation yawns in the deepest pits of his heart, in his very code, and threatens to tear him apart at the seams.

"the devastation yawns" alright. next time just gut me with a knife it'll be quicker than DESINTEGRATING MY SOUL LIKE THIS???? i love that, i love that so badly.

"Grian grits his teeth, then lifts his hand and opens his mouth, sinking them into the base of his thumb. Copper sings on his tongue; the spike of burning pain forces his eyes inward, drawing his attention and keeping it there as blood fills his mouth, thick and tacky."

AUGH thats it!!!! thats what this fic tastes like- burning copper, not as in copper that's been burnt, but as in copper that leaves a painful heat as it goes down your throat, that you can feel cruising your chest and guts as it makes its way down your stomach. (positive).

"(...) he chokes out, and that seems to break whatever trance Xisuma, Pearl, and Tango have been in this entire time. They rush forward, eating the distance between them in rapid strides, until they're all crouched around Grian."

gods i LOVE the use of "eating" here. its so visual and tangible i love it

"Voices rise around him in a cacophonous symphony, but Grian no longer has the strength to parse them. He sinks, dribbling into the abyss like molasses from a bottle. The darkness consumes him. He does not dream."

"He does not dream" my stomach hurts this is so good. tasty tasty angst. also molasses. the molassiest word ever.

===================================

Overall feelings on this first chapter:

that was. so tactile and textured- i need to hold it in my hands and press my palms into it, and let the spikes in its texture hurt my hands a little. its so good, the wording makes it so engaging and leaves you enraptured on its flowing narrative- you sure did put that guy in situations huh

if you've read all the way over here: hi ü hope you don't mind this block of text of cero coherent analysis. i had fun.

i have to attend to my life now before i run late, so I'll return to this piece and its dissection soon (hopefully in some hours?)

[theminecraftbee]

I saw someone named Second join the discord and I wasn't sure it was you until I saw you posting about the online tcg here!! I'm glad you're getting more ppl to play

If you want to share could we see the deck you're running? You seem to have a really good idea of the items balance so id love to know what hermits you're using 👀

i've actually still been playing around a lot! i probably won't settle on something specific for a while! that being said, this was working well for me - could probably swap out the composters for something more specific to the deck itself, or maybe TNT? and it could maybe actually cut like... three item cards, maybe? also MAYBE fewer tangos, swap out the fortune book for a rare etho? but at where it was, it was mostly fine - i had swapped in the wolves for... some reason, i don't know what i'm doing with those slots in this deck yet either. i think at one point i had those as bows and the chestplates as diamond? but tbh i don't think diamond chestplates are worth the slot.

[image ID: deck with 3x rare joe, 3x rare tango, 3x common xisuma, 3x iron armor, 3x wolf, 1x clock, 3x composters, 1x fishing rod, 3x flint and steel, 1x fortune book, 3x double farm, and 15x basic farm. /end ID]

right now i'm also messing around with "what if a deck based around joe and pearl and just not letting my opponent play the fucking game". this is a terrible idea. it's fun! this one needs a LITTLE more workshopping - namely on 'how can i most consistently stop my opponent from playing', which may include 'swap out that etho for a fortune book to make pearl and joe slightly more consistent' - but for those of you who are stall players at heart... yeah.

[image ID: two images, showing a deck with 2x common impulse, 3x rare joe, 1x ultra rare etho, 3x rare pearl, 3x iron armor, 1x clock, 2x composters, 1x fishing rod, 3x flint and steel, 2x knockback, 3x lead, 3x tnt, 3x double farm, 6x basic farm, and 6x basic terraformer. /end ID]

(my other thought on deckbuilding, as an evil person, is "can i break rare stress to do FTKs". don't let me shop decks, kids.)

[auseryoumayknow]

Just some Hermitcraft incorrect quotes!

Mumbo: the moon looks beautiful, doesn’t it?

Scar, looking at Mumbo: yeah, but do you know who’s more beautiful?

Scar and Mumbo: *sighs in unison* Grian…

Xisuma: But when all hope seemed lost, I had an epiphany!  Xisuma, earlier: I'm going to throw myself into the sea

Docm77, to GeminiTay: How do you tell someone politely you want to hit them with a brick?

*ZombieCleo rushes by with an armful of water bottles*  Welsknight: What's going on?  Zedaph: ZombieCleo wouldn't drink water.  Welsknight: ...And?  Zedaph: And I asked them how fast they could chug an entire bottle.  ZombieCleo, loudly: 16 OUNCES IN TEN SECONDS, BITCHES!

GeminiTay, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here.  Xisuma: Hey.  TinfoilChef: Hi.  Jevin: Hello.  BdoubleO: Hey!  GeminiTay: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!  Scar: We were out of Doritos

Grian: The ‘how the fucks’ and 'why are you so dumbs’ don’t matter. All that matters is that I have a new gun.

Tango: I’ve invited you here because I crave the deadliest game...  Scar, nodding: Knife Monopoly.  Tango: I was actually going to play Russian roulette, but now I'm really interested in whatever knife Monopoly is.

[indigo-flightly-falls]

I found some old things for a MCYT X CRK AU and I am laughing at some of this

the AU outline journal is here and a run down of some voicelines/characters is here!

Some of my favorite lines from the outline:

One cookie per character, everything else is skins

UNCORRUPTED XORNOTH COSTUME!!

OH WAIT OH FUCK WHITE LILY IS XORNOTH-

So like Jimmy would be the base cookie, the Codfather, The Sheriff, some origins are all costumes

-------

Bdubs and Martyn have a cookie bond that is just them fighting over Ren!!!!

-------

I WANT UNCORRUPTED XORNOTH AS A COOKIE

---------

The jungle from season 5. The lore I could make from that.

Fuck it. The nHo were vibing in the jungle and one day Etho vanished and then comes back during the life games. this is canonically how the others find out he's alive

The life games are a tragic as they are in our minds >:}

---------

The hermits who went to empires are all rare/common, exceptions being Grian (epic), Xisuma (he takes the place of Healer), Pearl (legendary) and maybe Joe (Epic? I just think Joe deserves something better then rare because he is Joe Hills)

Shubble and Scott are also in similar roles to Healer (Cookie)!

Actually, fuck it. Grian's common because everyone gets him. Tango takes his place as an epic :>

-----

Idk if this is funny to anyone else but I got a laugh out of it at least!

(I actually might revamp this AU, it's pretty fun to think about)

[bluiex]

HIZIES!!!! Is 🌸🐚🌹! I just had a two hour nap cause I was tired as shit- Anyway,I was spamming 🌺🪸🥀 as I does, and for whatever reason I was some how able to get her out of her comfort zone for shipping and we ended up with Scor(Scott and Scar) and Scango(Scott and Tango)(btw I came up with those names). And then a random quote turned into angst + comfort.

Scott not taking care of himself(Like every other fic ever- *gets shot*) so like Tango forces him to take care of himself by saying “time is fake, go to sleep” and just drags him to bed.

Saw this Reddit post about someone’s husband trying to khs but his wife(the poster) found out and stopped them.(Husband was trying to buy life threatening drugs, wife tells the dealer off) after that OP starts to show extra affection, even if it embarrasses OP or husband. Then like years or months later OP has a nightmare about husband dying, wakes husband up with the crying and then explains the nightmare and husband is like “why would that be bad?”, OP starts to explain how terrible it be if he died. And when I saw this, I was spamming 🌺🪸🥀 about how that is so Jimmy or Scar coded- So we’re doing Scar and Scott cause we more Scor in our lives.(I’ll force her to write some for this)

Setting up camp has become a ritual for the two of them now. Every night, No matter where they are, Scott chooses a spot and then Scar build a fire and cooks them dinner. He always cooks a little extra just incase. After they eat Scott sets up two sleeping bags. Then they crawl in, Stargaze for a little and fall asleep. It was just them.(This is very rewritten from an old Genshin thing I had in my drafts before just gave up on it)

ON THE MENTION OF GENSHIN- (This is vey much a shit thing I just grabbed)Hermitcraft x Empires x Genshin Impact? Anyone? Like Grian is Aether, Pearl is Lumine(Or we can switch Grian for Scott cause you know- he’s a star),I’m think if to make Scott Paimon- OR JIMMY!(Im just gunna do Mondstadt for now)Xisuma or Kerlise is very Jean, Sausge is so Kaeya, Zedaph is kinda Klee(best girl), Kathrine is really giving Amber vides, I don’t think any matches Lisa(maybe Gem, but without the flirting), Cub is Albedo(Both are mad scientist willing to do anything, even if they die), Sucrose, Ren is without questions Razor, Scar or Jimmy or Oli is Bennett(Cause all three of them just have such bad luck XD), Xiangling, Doc is very much Diluc, Pix is Venti cause I feel like Pix gives Barbatos energy but /def not Venti vibes(Or Grian maybe) , Scott is very much Mona, Fucking made you pay twenty thousand mora just to tell you your a Leo then makes a run for it if you blame him for scamming. Shelby is giving Eula.(Also might change these if I every come back to it)

"The bird which is caged it's entire life wonders how freedom is, and the bird with freedom wonders about the safety of being in a cage".

The cage bird is Grian. The bird that is free is Jimmy. 

(They totally get into a small fight that Scott and Scar have to force them to fix❤️)

-🌸🐚🌹(I disappeared for a bit then I got hit by a truck of ideas)

I don't know a thing about genshin but I am here for it!!

[jestroer]

Hoimycref ask game! Hopefully it's ok to ask multiple, if not just pick whichever :D

9, 23 (any hermit), 25

Hi eMe!!! :D Thanks for the ask!

9. Since watching hermitcraft have you started saying things hermits say? If so, what are they?

So this is a bit of a tricky one because english is not my first language and i do not talk out loud in english very often! BUT! I do say some things that hermits say when i talk to myself in it, as well as just copying some of theirs accents because i love to do it. Tango's -ificate is my personal favourite, as well as Scar's "Scarrrrrred for life!" and Mumbo's "it's quite simple really"

23. What was your original opinion on hermitcraft/a hermit? Did it change?

A lot to choose from here but i will say about Xisuma just cause. When i first encountered Xisuma in someone else's videos i thought he was like. The most basic cishet normal guy on the fucking earth. Like just a boring lil guy. He just gives off the vibes like this. But then i watched him for a while and like. He is such a strange fucking guy. Every time I learn something new about him its like what is wrong with this guy /affectionate

and i answered the 25 in last ask! I would go for another one, but..... I want to do clips now and making one takes forever for me.. I'll come back to it later probably!

[idk-how-cars-work]

I posted 744 times in 2022

That's 744 more posts than 2021!

169 posts created (23%)

575 posts reblogged (77%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@google-searchhistory-official

@pogasm

@anarchist-mlm

@restonrosebleed

@idk-how-cars-work

I tagged 428 of my posts in 2022

Only 42% of my posts had no tags

#lgbtq - 19 posts

#dreamwastaken - 16 posts

#transgender - 15 posts

#<3333 - 14 posts

#iconic - 14 posts

#boost - 12 posts

#gender stuff - 10 posts

#hermitcraft - 9 posts

#hmmmm - 8 posts

#stories from the deep - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#i am at a genuine loss for words. why. the longer i look at it the further into madness i descend. why is there a peen. wasn't he a fish.

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Nobody:

My friend when Charlie Spring: T-R-A-U-M-A HE HAS TRAUMA AND HE'S 🏳️‍🌈G A Y🏳️‍🌈

29 notes - Posted May 13, 2022

#4

MORE of my TBP headcanons because of course there's more

Mostly Vance and Bruce with Implided Brance but some Finn, Robin and gwen

No Grabber au I hate him sm

Robin tends to ba confidently wrong

Finney is a man of few words until you get to know him

Vance stole the switchblade

Gwen loves stuffed animals and figures

Bruce loves learning about Greek Mythology, Egyptian Mythology etc

And Vance is down to just like. Play with his hair while Bruce rambles on about how Zeus is the true villan and Hades isn't unjust

Vance is the kind of person who listens but can't remember (AHEM MORE AUTISTIC VANCE AGENDA)

Bruce reads very fast, so fast that he struggles to read aloud

Some guy called Vance a pussy once because of the choker and Vance beat the shit out of him

Vance's favorite Horror movie is Scream

Bruce hates horror in general but watches them with Vance for his sake

I've said it before I'll say it again: BRUCE IS VANCES BIGGEST INSTIGATOR.

Once Bruce got so mad he almost knocked a kid with his bat

Vance is absolutely petrified of spiders

But Bruce loves bugs

Bruce is SO FUCKING STRONG like he picks Vance up like he's nothing but an angry cat to him

And Vance loves it so much; he loves not having to be in control

29 notes - Posted October 20, 2022

#3

HERMITCRAFT BODY MODIFICATION HEADCANONS: PART ONE

uh yeah I got bored and so here's what I think hermits would get in terms of body mods (tattoos, peircings, scarification, cosmetic surgery etc)

Disclaimer: these are my opinions!!! You can have them for ur designs if u want!!! No credit needed!!!

Disclaimer #2: all of these are for the hermitcraft characters not the real people.

Grian: He has a traffic smp tattoo on his lower back.

Scar: Jellie tattoo. He had his Earlobes peirced but they closed up. He also tried scarification and got a tiny heart next to the Jellie.

Mumbo: earlobes peirced, usually has either gold or pearl studs in

Tango: Septum peircing. Decked Out tattoo sleeve. Nipple peircings.

Ren: Earlobes; wears little hoops.

Impulse: micro tattoo of waves behind ears. Lots of ear peircings. Stretched ears.

Iskall: one tat on upper arm of iskallium and same ear peircings as Impulse

Xisuma: As many mods as he had bitches. None. Negative 1.

Gem: little mushroom with a fairy on upper arm. Earlobes peirced, often wears pretty dangling earrings.

Pearl: Earlobes, wears pearl studs.

False: none

Cleo: had a tattoo on ribs but then it rotted away.

Bdubs: none

44 notes - Posted September 2, 2022

#2

FINALLY: THE PATCH PANTS TOUR

These are about 1 1/2 months old, so they haven't really bloomed into crust pants yet but I still love them.

Below: baphomet patch

(September 2, 2022)

See the full post

49 notes - Posted September 2, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

patches for my vest bcuz it's lacking

From left to right: not emo, I ENJOY THINGS A NORMAL AMOUNT, kein mensch ist illegal*, a Fresno nightcrawler with the text "Fresno, CA" at the top, Nobody likes Gender Roles, rainbow flag, ? , QUEER RIGHTS RIGHT NOW, red drips, Destructo Disk

*kein mensch ist illegal = no one is illegal in german

53 notes - Posted November 26, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

I'm not even surprised tbh except for the patch post?? I posted that like 2-3ish weeks ago??? Huh???

[rose-lizzzy]

"Gem!" Xisuma grabs her and pulls her back, restraining her.

Pearl flinches, crying.

Grian takes a deep breath. "Look...Gem.......yes...we... we're watchers ...but... we're not.....we aren't with them anymore."

Gem snarls at him. "I don't believe you. You all are the same. Monsterous....destructive....."

"And you know what Gem?!" Grian snaps, getting agitated. "You're absolutely right! And that's why we ran away! Why we hide out here! We left them."

Gem rolls her eyes. "And the moon? I bet that was one of you too."

Pearl quivers. ".....it's my fault........for not going back...for running away..." She whispers, her voice low and shaking.

"And why should I believe you?" Gem retorts.

Grian lets out a groan. "Gem just fucking look at her! Does she look like she's lying?!"

Gem glares at him. "She's lied to me since the start of the season, Grian. Or should I even call you that."

She gets a slap on her arm from tango. "Gem!"

"What! It's true! Don't you two have some dumb watcher names?! You know, names as stupid as Xelqua, or Xylena."

Pearl whimpers, shaking "...my name is Pearl.." she whispers

Grian looks back at his sister, wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

Turning back to Gem, still holding his sister close, he gives her a stern look. "No. Our names are Grian and Pearl. We don't associate with our watcher names. It..." He glances at Pearl. "You don't understand what they do to you, Gem. Torture...pain... You get stripped of your identity...slowly...until your memories of before are gone and all you know is to serve them..."

Pearl shakily nods agreement. ".....that's why....I don't remember..... the server.....uh...empires...? Is...that what you called it...? ..." She looks away

"Oh just shut up!" Gem glares at them. "Don't try to justify your actions."

Grian sighs. "I don't want to justify anything I did when with them. Above all I could never forgive myself for being the one to capture Pearl. All I ask is that you understand that we aren't the same as them. We don't want anything to do with the watchers. Maybe we don't hate them as much as you, but I can tell you we absolutely despise the watchers as well."

Previous

Gem pauses. "...Pearl? Is everything okay???"

Pearl turns to her. "Uh....yeah I'm just...curious about the story...why...why the name fwhip? Why's he the only one with a name?"

"Well...." Gem looks away, rubbing the back of her neck. "I......don't..." She sighs in defeat. "....Fwhip... was the name of my brother..it...doesn't matter. Do you want me to continue?"

Her mind was spinning, as she stood up. "I....don't know...I'm sorry...I have to...I just realized I should...keep building.."

Just like that, she bolts out of the room, taking off towards her mountains. She felt sick.

The resemblance started to come to her. The red hair. The mischievous grin.

If Xyslans player name was Fwhip...and Gem's brothers name was Fwhip....and her server was attacked by watchers....

Gem watches Pearl leave, somewhat confused.

That wasn't the reaction she was expecting. But....maybe it was a good sign?

She glances over at her bag, at the red, slightly burnt scarf sitting in it, and her heart aches. Tears form in her eyes and she pulls it to her chest.

"I miss you, Fwhip." She whispers.

It'd been a long time since she'd described her friends...her past...the server she grew up on..

The moon kept getting bigger each day. And Gem tried her best to ignore it, and not be proactive.

Why weren't they letting her do her job? They have the best watcher hunter in their server. Why don't they want to let her hunt the watchers provoking this?

She sighs. Why should she worry? They seem to have it under control, don't they.

She needs to clear her mind, she should build. Yep, building should work.

She gets to her storage room, and stands in front of her chests for a while, trying to decide what to build...

...

Her eyes end up focusing on her amethyst chest.

"I could..." She goes towards it and takes a few stacks of blocks, and one amethyst shard.

She focus on it, and it starts to shine. She opens her hand, letting the shard rest on her palm, and the crystal explodes into a pink cloud, which started to create the figure of 2 stags fighting, one blue, the other red, and then combining back into an amethyst shard. She smiles. "I still got it."

"I feel so bad, Impulse..." Pearl says, leaning forwards and grabbing her head. "I think I finally understand why Gem recognised me, and she miss the Pearl that she knew in that server, and... hates the Pearl I was forced to become..."

Impulse pulled her closer to him, stroking her arm. "It's not your fault, none of what is happening is your fault. You were kidnapped, and forced to do terrible things, you were stripped of your memories, of your identity..."

Pearl leans over more to his shoulder.

"And... it's not your responsibility to right the wrongs you had no agency on doing. And if you need us to kick some watcher butts, you can give us a call."

Pearl sniffles and laugh a bit, sweeping her tears away. "Thanks, Impulse." She hugs him, and he returns it.

They both watched some television for a while, until Impuse finally went back to work on building his factory.

Pearl accompanied him to her door, and wave him goodbye until he dissapeared from her view. She looked at the sky for a while, at the bigger moon.

She rubbed her arm, and lowered her head, squeezing her eyes shut. She snapped back up. "Xyslan! I know you are watching right know."