#i was just playing WoW for a bit to decompress from work

[sesshy380]

Dear Body,

Leveling my Frost Mage 10 levels is the not the equivalent of being chased by an apex predator. The racing heart like I've been running for my life is not necessary.

Sincerely,

~Me

[thelovelyruin]

𝖘𝖊𝖊 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖆𝖌𝖆𝖎𝖓.

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖗𝖘 : choso x fem reader

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖚𝖓 : you’ve got a crush on choso, and he’s reading the signs.

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖒𝖔𝖔𝖓 : college au! smut, fluff, porn with plot, vaginal sex, oral sex, praise, teasing, overstimulation, fingering, edging?

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖔𝖙 : 4.7K

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖗 : inspired by lyrics from see you again (rock mafia remix) by miley cyrus.

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖊𝖒𝖕𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖘 : hello lovelies, here I am with another choso fic. thank you so much for reading! i hope you enjoy it; if so, follow me for more. au revoir!

18+ MDNI ADULT CONTENT

I got my sights set on you, and I'm ready to aim.

“And, this is Choso!”

Now, you couldn’t remember whose idea it was to go to the fair (probably Yuuji), but at this moment, you were too grateful. To think you were going to miss out on this because you would’ve instead worked on classwork that was due NEXT week. Mai begged you to take a break, and you agreed to go like a good best friend. And thankfully, you did, cause if not, you would’ve never met him.

I have a heart that will never be tamed.

Choso was a little awkward. Nervous, for sure, but he had that demeanor that told you he was a lot more chill when he gets comfortable. Now the question was, why wouldn’t he be comfortable? That was, of course, because he was meeting you. Nonetheless, his ambition drove him to initiate a conversation with you, putting his anxiety on the back burner and acting “normal.”

“So, you’re Mai’s friend?”

Obviously, you were. A blush crosses your face, giving an awkward smile before looking at Mai. She understood immediately, face lighting up a bit when she realized you had the hots for him. With a smirk, she looked at him.

“Uh, yeah! She’s my best friend, can’t you tell?”

Choso directed his attention at Mai, giving her a squinted look. Not that he didn’t appreciate her, but he was already having a hard time talking to you, and she definitely wasn’t making it easy.

“Well, now I do. Thanks for the clarification, ma’am.”

“No problem, sir.”

She jabbed his arm, causing him to chuckle. Looking back at you, he smiled a bit.

“Hopefully, you aren’t as crass as your friend here.”

“I try not to be.”

“Hey, what the hell does that mean?”

You were giggling now, loosening up as you realized there wasn’t much to be nervous about. Choso was just a normal guy, a really hot, normal guy. That didn’t stop you from tucking your hair behind your ear nervously, it was so damn obvious you were flustered, but Choso was none the wiser.

I knew you were something special when you spoke my name; now I can't wait to see you again.

“Hey Choso! We’re heading over to the rides.”

Yuuji was now walking over to you guys, patting Choso on the back. When he noticed you standing there with Mai, his face lit up with surprise.

“So, Mai got you to come out and play! You do magic on her or something?”

“NO, I DID NOT. You guys are assholes, she came out on her own volition!”

Now, you and Yuuji have known each other for a while, but he’s just as irritating now as he was when you met him freshman year.

“I thought it would be fun to relax a bit and decompress from studying.”

Choso perked up at your comment, grateful to have something, anything, to work off of.

"Oh wow, what're you studying?"

Almost instantly, everyone’s eyes were on Choso. Mai looked at him intently, mostly in shock. You looked at him more relaxed, prepared to have a normal conversation with him. But Yuuji, as oblivious as usual, did not catch on to Choso trying to make conversation with you.

“Well, as much fun as this little chat is, I’ll be stealing Choso now. Inumaki and the others are waiting for us so we can ride a few rides.”

With that, Yuuji was hauling Choso with him to somewhere in the fair. But what you did not expect was Choso looking back at you, giving you a little wave, then turning to tell off Yuuji.

I've got a way of knowing when something is right.

“So, your friend…”

Mai shot the water into the target, attempting to get one of those oversized stuffed animals for the past ten minutes. When she lost again, she slammed another 5-dollar bill on the counter, demanding another turn.

“Yeah, you talkin’ about Choso?”

The game reset and she went to town. Mai was deadlocked on the target with the precision of a sniper. But, 30 dollars later, she finally won. Cheering and practically ripping the stuffed dino off the rack, she looked at you with sparkles; she was so damn proud of herself. After that, you two decided to get some fair food.

“Yeah, him.”

Pointing to the funnel cake stand, Mai dragged you closely behind her; you were attempting to catch up as fast as possible. She quickly ordered you guys a funnel cake; of course, the two of you had to share.

“You like him? I can totally tell. You looked like you were a pot about to boil over.”

You start scoffing, laughing nervously as you feign offense to her comment. But she really wasn’t wrong.

“Yeah, well, YOU say that! Do you think he noticed?”

"Babe, he totally noticed. Choso isn't the type to say something though, so whether he did or didn't, the world may never know."

You grab the funnel cake from the window, finding a picnic table to set up base. Mai was giving you that look now, that one she gives when she has an idea, and that’s never good.

“What the hell are you-”

“You know, he’s single. Haven’t seen him talk to a girl since freshman year, and that wasn’t very long.”

“Shouldn’t that be a red flag? What if he’s an asshole?”

“Oh, he’s far from that. If anything, I just think he can’t get laid to save his life. BUT, then there’s you.”

You avert your eye contact with Mai to the floor, too embarrassed to look at her.

“Look, you don’t have anything to worry about with him. He’s a nice guy and I’m sure he’d treat you well, in more ways than one.”

She winks at you as you jab her on the shoulder. As much as you loved her, she could be a pain in the ass, but as she would say, ‘your pain in the ass.’ 

I feel like I must've known you in another life, cause I felt this deep connection when you looked in my eyes.

After finishing the funnel cake, you guys walk about the fair, looking for another game to play, that is, until a set of hands comes in front of Mai’s eyes.

“Guess who?”

“Yuuji, get your paws off my face or I’m gonna beat your ass.”

With a pout, he lowered his hands, sneering at her when she turned around. As you turn to face him, you see Choso standing beside him, already looking at you. Reacting to the eye contact, he awkwardly puts a hand behind his neck.

“Uh, hey.”

“Hi, um… how were the rides?”

“They were good until Megumi and Inumaki threw up, so Todo drove them back to the dorms.”

Yuuji then looks around you and Mai, a confused look on his face.

“What about you guys? Where’s everyone else, or did Mai scare them off?”

“Yuuji, you’re on thin ice. We came by ourselves, GIRL’S night out.”

“Well, me and Choso are doing the same, isn’t that right?”

Choso looked at Yuuji like he had two heads.

“You mean when you badgered me for an hour so I’d come with you guys? Boy’s night out, for sure.”

You chuckled at Choso’s rebuttal, which didn’t go unnoticed by Yuuji. From that, Yuuji looked at Mai, who looked at you, then at Choso, prompting Yuuji to do the same.

“Well, what’s a little get-together, am I right?”

“Weren’t you just adamant about the boy's night out thing?”

“Yes, Choso, I was, but I’ve had a change of heart. They'll be riding the rollercoaster with us, isn’t that right, Mai?”

You shoot a panicked look at Mai, and simultaneously, Choso shoots the same to Yuuji.

“Yeah, Yuuji. You’re right. Let’s head over now.”

You and Choso’s eyes met, quickly blushing and averting your gaze. In that moment, you knew you were, to put it simply, down bad.

Now I can't wait to see you again.

The last time I freaked out, I just kept looking down.

Now, rollercoasters weren’t usually your thing, but when Mai gave you that puppy dog look, you couldn’t tell her no. She and Yuuji ran to the gate, leaving you and Choso behind to walk there, neither of you as excited as your friends.

“Looks like it’s a two-seater. Well, Mai, I think we should ride together!”

“You know what, Yuuji? That’s a great idea.”

You yanked at Mai’s sleeve, meeting her wide smile. The fuck are you doing? you whispered to her, still smiling in an attempt to act normal. Helping you out, duh, she whispered back, gently removing your hand from her shirt. As the ride attendant opened the gate, Yuuji and Mai flew to the front seat, leaving you and Choso on the bay.

“Is there, uh, anywhere in particular you want to sit?”

“The middle to back is fine!

With that, Choso guided you to a seat, holding your hand to help you sit in the cart. He sat down softly as you frantically looked for the seatbelt.

“Here, let me help you with-”

He noticed the harness sat right on top of your chest, which, if he wasn’t blushing before, he was completely flustered now. You both waited awkwardly for the ride attendant to strap you in.

I st-st-stuttered when you asked me what I'm thinkin' 'bout.

Yuuji, extremely excited about the thrill of the ride, turned around and shot a thumbs-up at Choso. What did that mean? God, it was so obvious even Yuuji could tell. Or did Mai say something? They had been looking back and forth, which could be-

“Whatcha thinkin’ ‘bout?”

Well, you couldn't tell him the obvious answer, of course. You boggled your brain, trying to come up with a lie to say. But then he wrapped his arm behind your head, resting it on your neck. You were about to combust. You damn near shook with both anxiety AND rouse.

Felt like I couldn't breathe; you asked what's wrong with me.

“Somethin’ wrong? Sorry, I should’ve asked first.”

He began to retract his arm.

“No! I'm fine, you’re all good haha.”

You decided just to shut up and shoot him an awkward smile, preparing for the ride that began to take off.

“Good, can’t have you scared. Don’t worry, it’ll be over soon.”

Oh, it was gonna be over soon, alright, because you were gonna pass out from the feeling of him bringing you into his chest.

The next time we hang out, I will redeem myself, my heart it can't rest 'til then.

You couldn’t get off that fuckin’ ride quick enough. You unbuckle yourself swiftly, running over to Mai, who was still talking to Yuuji.

“Hey there! How was the ride?”

“It was great, but I think we should really get going!”

She looked at you in concern, then at Choso walking up behind you guys, and then at Yuuji, who was confused per usual. Before Choso could walk up, you put your head down and walked down the bay, stopping at the ride's exit. 

“M’kay, bye!”

You were too embarrassed from getting all worked up over an arm; you couldn’t even face him. Mai stood there talking to both Yuuji and Choso, obviously upset, with Choso putting his hand up in a confused motion. God, this was torture. After a couple of minutes, Mai walked up to you, patting you on your back. And with that, you guys went back to your dorm.

Oh, I can't wait to see you again.

I got this crazy feelin' deep inside when you called and asked to see me tomorrow night.

You had just got in bed for the night, still coming down from the roller coaster, both the physical and emotional one. What were you doing? It was a perfect opportunity to talk to him, and you screwed it up. Now, he’s probably-

You’re interrupted from your thoughts by your phone ringing. You take it off the charger and turn down the brightness, reading the screen. A random number? This late? You almost declined the call, but then the asshole in you had the idea to answer and give the night caller a piece of your mind. You click the green button, putting your phone up to your ear, an arsenal of insults on standby.

“Who is this? You know it’s 11 p.m., right?”

“Oh, um, sorry. It’s Choso. Didn't realize it was so late, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

Your heart dropped to your ass. Choso? How the hell did he get your number? Then, it struck you, when he and Mai talked on the bay. You shift your whole mood from threatening to weak in the knees.

“Oh, no, it’s fine! Sorry, thought you were a scam caller.”

“Yeah, I guess I could’ve texted you first. Happy you still accepted the call, though.”

“So, what’s up?”

“I just wanted to, uh, apologize for earlier. Wasn’t my intention to make you uncomfortable or anything like that.”

You began pacing around the room, trying to keep quiet and not wake Mai.

“Oh, no, I just, um, it was nothing, I was just, um…”

“I was nervous, too, to be honest. I mean, I was scared I blew my chances with you.”

You stalled your movements in disbelief at what you had just heard.

“I don’t think I, uh heard you right, could you-”

“Can I take you out tomorrow night?”

You had to turn off the mic; you couldn’t help but scream into your pillow. After gaining composure, you turned the mic back on.

“What did you have in mind?”

“How’s a movie? Yuuji said you wanted to watch that new one, Human Earthworm 3, I think?”

So, Yuuji had said something to him. To be fair, they were brothers, so that would happen eventually, but you felt something itch inside you at the thought of all the things Yuuji could have said.

“So, uh, is that a yes?”

“Oh! Um, yeah, I mean, yes, sure. What time?”

“Be ready at 6.”

You were about to begin jumping around like a goddamn maniac.

“Okay, got it.”

“Okay, see you, tomorrow, angel.”

Before he hung up the phone, you could hear Yuuji cheering in the background. What the actual fuck just happened. Like clockwork, Mai jumped up, smirking. She’d been awake this whole time.

“So, he had the balls to ask you! I wasn’t expecting that one.”

I'm not a mind reader, but I'm reading the sign that you can't wait to see me again.

Now, it’s not like you were super excited about the date or anything. Not when you started getting ready at 12 despite you needing to be ready at 6, or when you repainted your nails, or when you waxed yourself, or when you were asking Mai which outfit you should wear. 

“Trust me, whatever you wear, he’s gonna like it. He’s happy to even be dating you!”

She had a point.

“But Maiiiii, what if he doesn’t like these jeans?”

“Weren’t you wearing jeans when you met him?”

“Ugh, shut up!”

“Whatever ya want, sweetheart.”

You decided to just go for a black dress, which was pretty short, but, come to think of it, wasn’t really a bad idea. But then, what shoes were you gonna wear? Which purse would-

Your phone lit up, a text from Choso.

“Outside :)”

Shit, it was six already. You started to panic, looking for anything else you were missing. As you turn around, Mai’s holding a pair of sneakers and a purse to match. You squeal and kiss her on the cheek, rushing to put your sneakers on as you stumbled out the door.

The last time I freaked out, I just kept looking down.

As you walked down the stairs, you began freaking out. You were about to be alone with Choso for hours, which you were fucking ecstatic about, but you realized you didn’t have the balls for this. But then, you get a thought from Mai, ‘Get it together, bitch!’

Damn it, why was she always right??? Not wanting to make him wait any longer, you sucked it up and walked outside. Choso leaned against his car, wearing a basic black tee covered by an aviator jacket with a pair of cuffed jeans. Damn, he looked good. Little did you know, he was thinking the same about you. That little black dress had him staring, mind trying to picture what might be underneath. You walked up to him quickly, holding your purse awkwardly, noticing his gaze checking you out. 

“You look great.”

“Thanks, not too bad yourself.”

You had to contain yourself. Like who, me? You send him a flirty smile as he opens the car door for you, going under his arm to get in the seat.

“You smell damn good too.”

The movie was pretty okay; not like you were really paying attention, though. When you guys sat down in the movie, Choso expectedly draped his arm around you, pulling you close to lay on his chest. What really sent you over the edge was halfway through the movie, when he brought his arm lower, slinking it around your waist, hand resting on your hip. He was dangerously close to your ass, there was that fine, fine line, and he was skating on it, making sure not to move too much in case he did cross that line cause the last thing he wanted was to make you uncomfortable again. After what felt like a year, the movie was over, and people spilled out of the theatre, clearly a full house. You and Choso were stragglers, only a handful of people still sitting around, and when he noticed, he brought his arm back over, nearly making you cry at the retreat. 

I st-st-stuttered when you asked me what I'm thinkin' 'bout.

“How’d you like it?”

“It was okay, not as good as the first one. What about you?”

“I haven’t seen the other ones, but it was pretty good!”

Choso stood up, taking a big stretch after sitting for so long. Your eyes immediately caught the slight lift in his shirt, his v-line and lower abs flexed as he groaned a bit, and fuck, it sounded good. He brought his hand down, encouraging you to take it, pulling you up, and putting his hand back around your waist. He held it firm, guiding you out of the theater and back to the car, helping you inside. You were dreading the fact the date was coming to an end; you had to think of something to prolong-

Choso’s phone rings, Yuuji’s contact picture illuminating the screen. With a deep sigh, he answers it.

“What?”

“I take it you’re still out?”

“No shit, Sherlock.”

“Well, bad news. I locked myself out of the room. Can you come here and let me in?”

“I’m on a date, motherfucker.”

“Oh yeah. Bring her with you!”

“Jesus Christ.”

Choso mutes the mic, looking at you. Now, you weren’t exactly looking forward to seeing Yuuji, but spending more time with Choso was your prerogative. You give him a nod and a smile, and his annoyance fades slightly. Unmuting the phone, he rolls his eyes.

“Be there in 10.”

“Thank youuuu!”

“Fuck off.”

The ride back to their dorm was pretty fast, but it was hard to think with Choso’s hand rubbing your thigh. Once again, skating on that fine line of nearly touching a little too far up your dress, but thankfully for the both of you, he had some self-control. Your presence was eating at him, though; every time you smiled, he couldn’t help but stare at your lips or look at your ass as you walked before him, exiting the theater. Thank god your dress covered your chest, cause he’s pretty sure that would’ve killed him too.

You waited for him to open the car door, second nature, to feel his hand on your side. Yuuji sat in one of the chairs in the lobby, perking up at the sight of you guys walking through, then pouting.

“You guys took forever to get here!”

“It was 13 minutes.”

Choso, tired at this point, walked the two of you upstairs to their room. He unlocked the door with annoyance, letting Yuuji and you walk in. 

“So, where did you put your keys? I’m not unlocking it again.”

Yuuji walked to the door and stepped outside, rummaging through his pocket and conveniently pulling out his keys.

“Look, they were here all along! That’s so crazy, haha.”

When you and Choso realized what had happened, it was already too late. Yuuji had since locked the door behind him, hearing him laugh as he walked down the hall.

“That fucker had his keys the whole time. Why am I not surprised?”

“Because it’s Yuuji we’re talking about here.”

Choso took a deep exhale and sighed.

Felt like I couldn't breathe, you asked what's wrong with me.

“Sorry about the unnecessary detour, I can go ahead and-”

You brought his lips to yours experimentally, him pulling back to look at you. Damn, you were nervous, but the lack of touch and the lust had completely taken over you, you knew what you wanted, and it was him. You kiss him firmly, pushing him back onto the bed. Instantly, Choso picked your legs up and placed them on either side of him, positioning you in his lap as he kissed you back. All he could seem to do was touch you, exploring your body, hands groping everything he touched. 

Out of his mind, horny, he brought your hips down to grind against his, feeling his dick rub against you through his pants, making you moan softly. He was becoming hungry, hands climbing up your dress to unclip your bra, bringing your clothed nipple into his mouth. Indulging in the little moans he pulled out of you was nice, but Choso was fucking selfish. He wasted no time flipping you over so your back lay against the bed, opening your thighs to position himself between them. That little black dress? Choso had stripped it from you, along with that bra, somewhere on the floor of his room. Now, Choso wasn’t a virgin, but the way he stared at your topless body would make it seem like he’s never seen a pair of tits before.

“You’re so damn pretty.”

He brought his shirt over his head, discarding it and his jeans, thinking your panties should go too, but you looked damn good in that thong. So, why not have a little fun? Choso pulled up your panty line, making your thong outline your pussy, soaked lips spilling out the sides, but not quite enough that you were fully exposed. Rubbing your clit through the fabric, you were getting so wet that your thong was soaked in your pre-cum. Wished he had a photographic memory, because he was in love with the sight he got to see when he decided to be nice and finally strip you of your panties. You were on full display to him, and like a siren, you brought your fingers down to spread your lips for him, inviting him to touch you in some way. He had something way better than that; trust. Cause at this point, he was flipping you on top of him, bringing your hips up to him so he could taste his your pussy on his face. You hesitated at first, scared you were gonna suffocate him, but with one look at his face, you knew he didn’t give a fuck. He brought your hips down so your pussy landed on his tongue, then it was go time. Sucking, licking, kissing, he was doing everything he could, addicted to your taste and scent. God, your pussy was delicious. He almost damned Yuuji and Mai for taking this long to introduce you to him. For taking so long to let him date you. For taking so long to let him please you. 

“Choso, fuck!”

He was feining for it, the way you were moaning his name like a prayer, and his mouth was something to believe in. That’s why you started gripping his headboard, shamelessly grinding your pussy across his face as you feel your orgasm approaching. You look down at him with those pretty doe eyes, and when they meet his, he starts licking your clit, flapping his tongue as he drew circles around it. Every cycle, every rotation, it was too much.

“I-I-”

You didn’t have to finish that sentence. Knew the second he felt your pussy spasm against his tongue, cumming in his mouth as he continued pleasing you, gripping your hips so you couldn’t move as you rode out your high. Finally, when you started whimpering from overstimulation, he decided to let you go, but you weren’t getting off that easy. Within seconds, Choso had you on your back, legs wide open, as he slid his dick inside your pussy.

The next time we hang out, I will redeem myself.

You honestly didn’t know you could cum that hard, let alone moan that loudly; so grateful the room next to them was vacant. But it wasn’t until Choso started fucking you slowly that you were losing yourself. He wanted to give you some time to adjust, but you were just so damn sexy, pretty face with an even prettier-

“More, please.”

He was hearing things, for sure. There was no way you were begging him to fuck you, but he fuckin’ liked it.

“More what? Tell me.”

“Fuck me, Choso.”

He didn’t have time to tease you anymore; his dick was aching so bad it could shatter. So, he gave you exactly what you wanted. At first, he kept a steady pace, gripping the sides of your pillow as his hips made you arch your back into him, but fuck, he needed wanted more. 

“I’m gonna fuck you a little faster now, that okay?”

“Yes, baby, just give it to me.”

Jesus, you were just trying to drive him insane. That pretty voice of yours calling him baby, he was already grateful you agreed to go on that date with him, but he didn’t expect this to happen (he was hoping he’d fuck you after the second or third date). He sat back on his legs as he lifted your hips to take him deeper, making you repeatedly groan his name. But, nothing could prepare you for how he began fucking you, fast and deep; he fucked you like he needed you, like he fuckin’ craved you. He couldn’t keep your name out of his mouth when he felt your pussy pulling him back in again every time he fell back to fuck you deeper. He started daydreaming about you a bit, what your next date would be like, seeing you every day, walking you to class, and then fucking you after you two completed classwork. The sound of your juices spilling out of your pussy onto his dick snapped him out of it, relishing in the sounds of your wetness and the claps of your ass every time he brought your body onto his. You felt so damn good, bringing your fingers up to touch his chest as he looked you in the eyes. And every time you looked away, he brought a hand up to put your eyes back on his. Because he needed to see how his dick made you feel and show you how good your pussy was taking it. 

“I gotta cum baby, need you to cum for me first.”

He pulled out, laying down to eat your pussy again, rutting his dick into his sheets. And when he made you cum for the second time, he slipped back inside, feeling your pussy pulsing with the waves of your orgasm. He came to the sounds of you squealing his name, your pussy milking him for all he’s worth.

My heart, it can't rest 'til then.

That was the best sex the two of you had ever had. It left you both panting, backs on the bed, mind hazy. Choso looked over at you, watching your tits rise and fall with every breath you took; he had to look away before he fucked you again, not that he wouldn’t mind. You looked up at him with those pretty doe eyes, and he swore he would melt. He brought you up to him, kissing you softly as he pulled a blanket over the two of you. You laid your head on his chest, following with his arm wrapping around your back and waist.

“So, wanna go on another date?”

Oh, I can't wait to see you again.

♱ the song used in this story is see you again (rock mafia remix) by miley cyrus. 🖤

♱ masterlist.

♱ all fics playlist.

𝖆𝖚 𝖗𝖊𝖛𝖔𝖎𝖗, 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖑𝖞𝖗𝖚𝖎𝖓.

[greedandenby]

Jacob Anderson, Sam Reid, and others talking about Jam Reiderson.

Here's a compilation of bits and pieces from various interviews about these two men's beautiful friendship. Will be updating as new promo for subsequent seasons comes out!

(Long post, so keep reading!

- there's SO MUCH good stuff)

Pride.com

Q: You guys have incredible chemistry. It hinges on that. Can you talk a little bit about how you built that kind of connection?

JA: I find it so difficult to talk about chemistry. Because me and Sam… like each other.

SR: Yeah. I think we’re very similar in a lot of ways, and that was a big relief. It’s a very bizarre job to do when you’re doing it, cause you’re shooting entirely at night, you have amazing costumes and contact lenses and accents and teeth and blood. The scenes, while they feel like they have a flow to them, there’s a lot of splitting up while we do it because we’ve got to have special effects come in or the blood come in, or we’re on a rig of some kind. So it’s a weird experience, and we also had these extraordinary lines of dialogue to say as well. And so to have somebody who’s similar, can process these things the same way as you and bounce off of and decompress with is vital.

JA: Yeah, and the first step is you just have a common language that you find, and sometimes it clicks and sometimes it doesn’t. And we were just lucky that we, you know…

SR: Yeah. Yup.

Amc Talk

Q: The relationship between Louis and Lestat is rife with complications, but at its core there's obviously a real connection there. What was it like crafting this tumultuous relationship on screen with Sam Reid? You two are quite good friends having come out the other end of Season 1.

JA: Yeah, we were good friends when we were doing it and I think that's part of why it worked out for us! We didn't put too much emphasis on trying to figure everything out. The scripts are so beautiful, the writing is so dense and so full of life and detail that you don't need to discuss it too much. Obviously, we talked to the directors, and they'd have ideas and we'd have ideas, but I think, in terms of me and Sam finding it, I think we just paid attention to each other. We just trusted the writing, trusted each other, and it meant that we’d already be prepared for whatever was going to come up. We felt comfortable with each other, so we could try things and it felt safe. It felt like we could play around with body language and with eye contact and all these things. But it was unspoken, I think. It wasn't something that we spent a lot of time discussing. Everything's intentional to a certain extent, but there's this other thing that is just about instinct and listening really.

Q: And having the right scene partner where that happens.

JA: Yeah, I felt really lucky! Sam gives you so much. There's so much to play off and I hope that I did the same for him. Our first day of shooting we did the opera house stuff, and I was so excited. It's the scene where he talks about loneliness, and I remember thinking even though I'd got to know him a little bit and we'd done a bit of rehearsal and we'd become friends by that point, I was like, "Oh wow, this is going to be really special! I'm going to get to do this every day. I'm going to get to watch this character come to life and respond to it." That's a gift. Sam Reid is a gift!

Q: The relationship between Louis and Lestat is rife with complications, but at its core there’s a real connection there. What was it like crafting this tumultuous relationship on screen with Jacob Anderson? You two are quite good friends having come out the other side of Season 1 so if anything, I’m sure the experience brought you closer together? 

SR: Yeah, definitely. It definitely brought us closer together. It was really crazy this stuff that we were doing together. We'd have these massive scenes, and it would be just him and I in the middle of the night playing opposite each other, not really being able to see each other all the time with the contact lenses. You just rely so heavily on one another. You also rely on each other because you're like, "Have we pushed it too far? Is it too much? Is it enough? Like, do we believe each other?" Because it's this very intense relationship but we’re also supernatural beings. So, you're constantly having to reframe the way that you look at a relationship and say, "Well, hang on, my character has all this power." Like in Episode 4, I remember saying, when all the police are coming over to the house, I was like, "Why are we even worried about this? I don't understand why I would be even concerned about this at all." But you're negotiating with someone who's going, "Yeah, but my desire to have a connection to humanity makes this important," and so you're like, "Oh, okay." We managed to balance off each other in that way, because my character's way past any connection to humanity and Jacob's character is holding onto those last threads of his humanity. When we'd both be examining a scene, we'd both be coming at it from different angles. Because of the love between the two characters, there's always that negotiation and blunting of the other's real intention. I couldn't really imagine doing it with anybody else! We did all of it, everything, together, really.

Gold Derby Daniel Hart Interview

Q: In what ways does the show’s really rich visual palette and then of course Sam and Jacob’s lightning-in-a-bottle chemistry on screen influence some of the choices that you made on the score throughout your process?

DH: There’s a theme that I would call their love theme, and it’s sprinkled throughout the first episode but it played in full over the end credits in a piece called “In Throes of Increasing Wonder”. And that theme appears in almost every episode, I think, in some form or another. I don’t think that theme was possible before I had seen some of that interaction between Jacob and Sam as Lestat and Louis. It’s born of their emotional reactions to each other.

IWTV Podcast

Ep2

Q: You and Jacob did your chemistry tests over Zoom? Which, I mean, does anyone have chemistry over Zoom?

SR: Yeah, I don’t really know what they were looking for or how you’re supposed to gauge chemistry from that, because it was really glitchy and we were all speaking on top of each other and trying really hard to act into the camera, which just wasn’t working. But look, I really… Jacob is such a lovely person, such a really fantastic actor and so easy to be around. And I could see that he was going to be a very easy person to fall in love with. So it was fun. In fact I just came from having ice cream with Jacob and he says hello.

Q: Oh my God, I’m obsessed. I want these moments. Give me that footage, okay? I want ice cream footage, I want strolling the streets of downtown New Orleans footage.

SR (laughs): Yeah, I mean we hang out all the time and we’ve become very, very good friends. Cause it is a crazy journey that we’re on and it was a crazy job, so it’s really lovely to have such a good friend.

Ep3

Q: Talking about Sam, how much time did y’all get before you started actually shooting? It’s like “Okay, we’re in love now and it’s going to be very tortured and complicated” – Rolling!

JA: Yeah. I don’t know if I completely believe in luck, but I think there’s like a weird cosmic luck in this whole thing. It is a huge roll of the dice. The first day we met each other, obviously we both had our masks on, and we had a hug and we were like “Oh hi”. And then we just spent the next day walking around New Orleans and getting to know each other. And I truly love that man, so much. Like, we connected so quickly and just found like… And I think part of that as well is that there’s a level of trust that we had to have, otherwise we weren’t going to be able to do this at those hours, and those scenes, and the intimacy of their relationship, and also the toxicity and the fire in it. We had to really hold each other and be like “All right, have we got each other’s back?” And we did, we were just like “We’re in this together. Let’s listen to each other and try and have fun.” And we did, we had a lot of fun. I thought that taking on this role would be quite triggering for me in lots of different ways. I thought it was going to force me to have to reconcile with lots of feelings that I had. I thought it was going to be just a guilt and shame and despair fest for six months. And actually I just found it really, really cathartic being Louis, and Louis has helped me a lot. I think there’s something about acceptance in Louis and acceptance of self, and like “This is who I am, this is who I’ve been, and I’m enduring, I’m choosing to keep going. I’m choosing to accept who I am.” And that was really helpful for me. So rather than feeling tortured, I think I ended up just feeling very… held, very comforted by the whole thing, in a weird sort of way.

Ep7

Q: I’m wondering what you guys would do or how you would hang out on set. Is there hanging out or are you more like “Okay, they’re setting up a light, I gotta go lay down, I can’t with you right now.”

JA: No, we were pretty inseparable, to be fair. There wasn’t really any hanging out. We just were. At a certain point, we just were. We didn’t share a trailer, but it was like, a wall separating us. And we’d just end up sitting on the stairs or texting each other through the wall.

SR (laughs): Through the wall, just texting all the time.

JA: We became a hive mind.

SR: We did, yeah.

Q: Were you still a hive mind once you wrapped? Would you still text and stuff?

JA: Yeah.

SR: Yeah.

JA: We’re going to the theatre tonight. We’ve seen each other every day for the last week. We’re still choosing to spend time together. It’s probably not very healthy. Very co-dependent (laughs).

Ep8

Q: Obviously viewers are in love with Jacob and Sam. People are tweeting me photos of them eating ice cream. We call ourselves #icecreamhive. The fandom is strong. Can you tell me about how you found Jacob and Sam, and the process of deciding they were Louis and Lestat?

Rolin Jones: Well, obviously 9 billion people auditioned. You kind of get down to ten actors that you like on both sides. The simple math of it is the second those two got into their Zoom rooms together, it was very clear something very dynamic was happening. On Jacob’s side, there’s this sort of genuine warmth, kindness, humanity. You’re like “Okay, for a character who’s going to make a number of questionable choices, how do you make them want to love him?” And on Sam: I saw his face and I said “No fucking way! No fucking way that guy, this chiselled, stupid chiselled, with his locks and his dreamy eyes. I was like no, no, no, no. And then I pressed play, and he really knew how big we were going to go. He was wildly specific and subtle. It was in his voice. There was something a little Jeff Bridges/Starman about it, and I was like “Oh, this guy feels like an alien and he feels other than us”. They both won the audition, that’s basically what happened. Although I’ll tell you, here’s a dirty secret: ready for this? Sam bought this piece of technology, that you can do a push-in close-up right when the scene is getting a little juicy. And I just started laughing my ass off. I was like “Oh my God, this guy wants this so hard.”

Mark Johnson: You called me the first time you had seen Sam, and you were just so excited about the potential of this guy and you basically said: “He’s going to be next to impossible to beat.” And sure enough, nobody could really touch him. But from the very first time you saw his audition you were pretty convinced that we had our Lestat.

Keep It Podcast

JA: Sam is just like my… partner-in-crime, and I feel so lucky that I got to spend every day with him. We had to do a lot of stuff in this show and when I say a lot of stuff I mean, those nights are no joke. Knowing those scenes and working on those scenes together at that hour – you can only do that with somebody that you like, even if the scene calls for tension. I think you would just kill each other if you didn’t like each other.

New York Post (October '22)

JA: For anything I got to do with Sam, that relationship is so fun to play. You bond in a really particular way when you're working nights and dealing with these lofty themes. The feelings are huge in every scene. If you don't have that common language and find that chemistry... I don't think me and Sam needed to find it, there was something natural that we found together. It would be rough if we didn't like each other an awful lot.

PaleyFest

Q: Jacob and Sam, I feel like the show wouldn’t work unless the chemistry’s there between Louis and Lestat. There’s a lot riding on that. So how did you two form this immortal bond, if you will, during filming, knowing how important it was?

JA: We just spent a lot of time together even when we didn’t need to (laughs). I don’t know, like, how do you put that kind of thing into words? It’s just, like… I really love Sam. I like spending time with him. I like working with him. I find the way that we talk about what we’re doing… Well, we’re not talking about what we’re doing all the time but I think we have a similar language. I dunno, it’s ki(smet?)… It’s, like, how do you describe a vibe? (laughs)

Q: Sam, how do you describe the vibe?

SR: I think the work, the world and the characters are so extreme and it’s a very intense thing to do. And I think we leant on each other a lot throughout the process and we were very grateful for the friendship that we had built to be able to get through six months of night and some pretty intense scenes. And to have someone that you can look across the room and have a private giggle with and get on with the job and debrief with at the end of the day is invaluable. Chemistry with actors is a complicated beast because it is our job to manufacture it, but when you don’t have to and it just comes naturally it makes everything so much more easy and enjoyable, particularly when you’re nude and bleeding (laughs). You’re really happy you have a buddy (unintelligible).

Q: I was in the Entertainment Weekly suite when all you guys came through for Comic Con at the Hard Rock Hotel and, I mean, I was watching you all interact. Bailey, break it down for me: these two, do they have like a super-bromance going on? Like, what is happening?

Bailey Bass: They’re best friends! They really are, it’s really precious. (Delighted grin from Jacob) Look at Jacob’s face! (laughs)

JA: Are we best friends, Sam?

SR: Yeah, you’re my best friend.

Eric Bogosian: I have to say, I have to throw in: I have two sons who are roughly the age of these guys, and we all went over to Comic Con, us three. And walking around was like being with my kids. The two of them are just like together (clasps hands together) getting into everything and I’m following them around, like “Wait a second, wait a second! Let me catch up with you there!” I didn’t really get it when I first got to set, I didn’t understand what was going on with these two guys, because they were so happy and they were so tired and they were so bonded and I was like “What dimension have I entered here?”

Reddit AMA (2022)

Q: Many of the scenes in the show are very emotionally demanding for even just a viewer of the series […] Is it taxing on yourselves as people or is it something you can simply switch off?

JA: It really helped having Sam there. We just went and sat on a bench and checked on each other. Without Sam I think I might have found it a lot harder.

Rotten Tomatoes

About the casting process:

JA: I asked (Alan Taylor): “How did you guys decide that it was the right thing?” And he was like: “To be honest, by that point” – cause we did like eight rounds of auditions – “it was more about the way that you interacted when you weren’t doing the scenes. It was about how you listened to each other.” It’s just that we got on, we were pretty comfortable between the things.

Schön magazine

Q: Tell me more about the dynamic between Jacob and you who plays Louis, your love interest?

SR: Jacob and I get on well, we have a close friendship. We bonded strongly throughout the making of this show. He’s one of my favourite scene partners I’ve ever had because it’s just such an easy working relationship. There’s a lot of trust between the two of us. You know, it’s a fucked up toxic relationship. It’s messed up. But at the core of it is like this intense, inescapable love. So, we have to play out a very morbid, obsessive, passionate relationship. I think it would be really hard to do if you hated the person opposite. I’m so grateful that we get on.

ScreenRant at SDCC 2022

Q: Louis and Lestat have an iconic relationship: epic, spanning years and continents, lives ruined, bloodshed. What is it like bringing that to the screen and working together to really establish that immortal bond?

JA: It’s been the greatest partnership – creative partnership – in my life.

SR: Awww.

JA: No, I’m not joking, it really has!

SR: I’d agree, actually. It’s very hard, it’s a very intense relationship that they have, and you have to believe in that relationship. The things they do to each other are so extreme and painful and hurtful. And it’s been fun to have a real buddy to go through that and debrief with at the end of the day.

JA: I’m not sure how we could’ve done everything that we’ve done if we didn’t really trust each other.

SR: Yeah, it would’ve been awful if we hated each other.

JA: And it’s one of the great… you know, in the books, when they join together again – even when you know how awful they’ve been to each other – it’s just like you’re home, and I think that’s something that we always subconsciously tried to make sure was in there. They are kind of like home to each other, particularly after Louis’ human attachments start to fall away.

Eric Bogosian: I just want to say, these two guys (pointing to Jacob and Sam), it’s great watching them, their bonding and everything. The only difference between them and the guys in the fictional world: I’ve never seen them fight.

Bailey Bass: They were walking together alongside the San Diego beach. (To Jacob and Sam) You were! I mean, how adorable is that?

JA: We’re quite co-dependent. I don’t know if that’s a problem (laughs).

SDCC 2022 Panel

SR: It’s the greatest gift that I’ve ever been given, really. And then of course (pointing to Jacob) this guy.

JA: Awww!

SDCC 2022 Press Conference

Eric Bogosian: As a witness to what was going on, watching the way these guys (pointing to JA & SR) interacted was amazing. They had a chemistry that I’ve actually never seen before, and it continues even as we’ve been here for Comic Con. It’s wonderful to watch. I won’t get into it too much, I don’t want to characterise what goes on between them, but there was a great feeling on our set.

TV Insider at SDCC

Q: The level of intimacy that you two have to establish early on is really impressive. Did you know each other? Did you get to spend time hanging out before you got to be these immortal entwined characters?

JA (to SR): What did we do? We had like one Facetime call…

SR: Yeah, we had a Facetime call and then we were texting. We texted a lot, so we go to know each other via text.

JA: Me and Sam talk to each other every day, by the way. We couldn’t cut the cord.

TV Insider’s Trivia Night

SR & JA: Hi, we’re Jam Reiderson and we’re from Anne Rice’s Interview with the Vampire!

Holding up boards that say:

SR: [I won!]

JA: [But I won (really) at life]

SR: Bastard!

JA: Because I get to be with you, Sam, all the time! That’s the twist.

TV I Say Podcast

JA: Me and Sam spent 40 minutes yesterday in a sticker shop. Like, just looking at stickers and buying stickers. That’s not a thing that you ever really talk about. You don’t go like “Are you into stickers?”, you know? (…) I feel like Sam and I end up mentioning things in passing like “Do you wanna go do this or do you wanna do this?” and the other person’s like “Yeah!” But then, we have… There are so many crossovers. You wouldn’t expect it because we grew up in very different ways in very different countries. But we have crossovers of weird things or very niche things that we’d never discussed, really, right up until the point of promoting this show and doing press, that we’re like, “Great!” Like we’re going to go to Universal today. And I thought “Oh, is it a bit of a weird thing to ask?” Like, I don’t know if it’s awkward to… Normally, I wouldn’t ask a friend if they just wanted to go to Universal. But with Sam, I’ll be like “Should we go to Universal Studios?”, and he’s like “Yeah! Let’s do it!” Do you know what I mean? It’s just, I dunno, we just have similarities that we couldn’t have really… We couldn’t have known that we were so similar, but it really helped us when we were working, even if we didn’t know it at the time.

W Magazine (Oct ’22)

Q: Is there anything specific that you read first thing in the morning?

JA: Realistically, text messages. In the last few months it’s been texts from Sam Reid, who plays Lestat in the show, because he’s in Australia and I’m in the UK. So there’s always some kind of really nice conversation waiting in the morning.

Young Hollywood

JA: I don’t know, we just liked each other straight away. We just had similar thoughts about what this was, about what we were doing. He’s one of my favourite people I’ve ever met in my life, let alone worked with. We just work well together. I can’t even really pinpoint exactly why. We’re going to hang out now, like after this we’re going to go to the Grove…

Q: Oh he’s in LA?

JA: Yeah!

Q: Oh my God, that’s perfect! I was going to say when was the last time you talked to him?

JA: Like half an hour ago.

Q: What’s the best thing that came from IWTV for you?

JA: That’s hard to… Sam Reid. Let’s say Sam Reid.

SFX Magazine – May 2024

That being said, [Rolin] Jones admits that it was a tough adjustment for Anderson and Reid to navigate this season. “It’s very clear, they’re very, very good friends,” Jones observes. “They really do talk every day together. So generally speaking last year, they had each other. They would get off the scene, they’d go to the bench and they would talk.”

92NY Season 2 Advance screening

JA: [Working with Sam on S02] was like slipping on a glove. Like, a glove that fits really well, wasn’t it? (laughs) Wait, is that dirty? (laughs)... An old sock!

Eric Bogosian: I have to say, I’ve never seen two actors in a company behave the way these two guys do. When I got to set and I first met them, they were already as if they were stuck to each other like brothers. (…) And then I watched them just… They follow each other around, like, whenever they’re not in scenes they’re like two puppies playing together.

Instinct Magazine (May ’24)

JA: I think the chemistry between Sam and I is based on a similarity in approach, and the way I think about these characters. Also, we just get on – I think that translates in a way.

AMC Talk (May ’24)

Re working with Sam on “DreamStat”

JA: We didn’t work on it too much ahead of time. Sam and I really trust each other. So, we’d just show up and be like, “we’ll be fine. We’ll just figure it out as we go.” We really listen to each other. (…) [Louis and Lestat’s] dynamic this season is very different. They’re not fighting. They’re not shouting at each other. That kind of intensity has gone a bit, which was fun! That was a new thing for me and Sam to play, this kind of companionship thing. It was fun and I was just glad that Sam was there, and that I was going to get to work with him.

JA: Sam and I have talked about how nice it would’ve been to have had a little mini-series where you just see Lestat and Louis just hanging out in New Orleans. (…) And not necessarily hunting, just like walking, sitting on a bench, chatting, really like the norm.

People Magazine Interview ‘24

Q: What’s a headline you’d use to describe your friendship in real life?

JA & SR: Sam and Jacob go to the movies (laughs)…

JA: … and walk around the city…

SR: … sit in a park and chat for hours.

Sam Reid answers fan questions (AMC)

Q: Who makes you laugh the most on set?

SR: Jacob.

Question from Jacob 😏 (SR reaction: Jacob Anderson? Who's that? 😚): Why is Jacob Anderson your favourite person to work with?

SR: He is very talented and he does some extraordinary work in this season. I feel very lucky to work with him… aside from the fact that he’s a dick. 🥰

Salon (May ’24)

SR: They’re trauma bonded, Louis and Lestat…

JA: … And Jake and Sam also trauma bonded!

Roxane Duran interviewed by Autumn Brown (June ’24)

RD: When I first met Jacob and Sam… They’re just the kindest souls and they really, really take care of each other and of everyone around. […] Jacob and Sam really have that sort of really beautiful friendship, and you see them and they’ve got a huge joy being around each other and also being around everybody else.

Vanity Fair / Little Gold Men Podcast (June ’24)

Q: Can you talk a bit more about Sam as a scene partner, the connection you two have developed over the years?

JA: The key thing that Sam and I have is complete and utter trust. We trust each other. We know that wherever the scene goes, it’s going to be safe. We also know that we’re going to surprise each other. […] Sam always does things with his chest and that is also how I like to work. Say it with your chest; mean it. I don’t think he’s ever doing anything out of a sense of vanity. It’s like, you exhaust as many possibilities as you possibly can and you’re unafraid to look silly or to go to a really heightened place. I think we hopefully see that in each other. When Sam and I are in a room together and we’re about to shoot a scene as these characters, it’s exciting. You don’t always find that, where you just have a symbiotic, or completely common language in the way that we work together. Even though we’re quite different. I think that’s what it is. I think we speak the same language in the way that we relate to these characters and this story.

Variety (June ’24)

JA, about filming the S2E8 reunion scene with SR:

“We held each other’s hands, and we just fucking jumped.”

TV Guide (June ’24)

Rolin Jones about shooting the S2E8 reunion scene:

They arguably did not get enough takes to do that scene. It’s just one of those things that when we turned on the camera, you could feel three years of their friendship. I knew on this side of the camera I needed two takes. I was like, “Jesus, what just happened?” But they wanted to stay there forever.

About the unheard words in the scene:

I don’t know, to this day, I don’t know, nobody knows, except those two, what they said. We wrote it in. That was the gift, to say, “You guys, not only your friendship, but where you’ve taken the characters, you should have something private for the rest of your lives. And go ahead, have it.”

AMC “Inside IWTV S2” Special

SR: I speak to Jacob every day, nonstop, all the time.

JA: Any day where Sam is there is a good day for me.

Den of Geek at SDCC ‘24

Q: How do you go about building such rippling chemistry with another human being, with Jacob? And I know the answer is “chemistry is chemistry”, but how? How do you do it?

SR: Well, I don’t “build” anything. Unfortunately I’m going to give you that same answer. But we’re very good friends. We’re really close. I don’t know if that chemistry happens before you become friends or after, but there’s a lot of trust and we just have a lot of fun making this show. I think chemistry isn’t just two actors or two people together: it’s the whole group, it’s everyone who makes the show. It’s the space, it’s the feeling when you come on set, and you feel like you can do things, try things, be experimental, push the boundaries a little bit. And that creates a sense of play and trust. You might think that it’s just Louis and Lestat’s chemistry, but it’s actually the whole chemistry of every cast member and every creative and every director, every piece of beautiful dialogue we have, the design, down to every crew member. Everyone puts a lot of chemistry into it, so it’s a pot – a big, bubbly pot.

Rolin Jones: Bowling, too. They do a lot of bowling.

SR: We go bowling, yeah. I should’ve said that.

Assad Zaman: Ice cream.

SR: Yeah, we eat a lot of ice cream. And we do sticker play (laughs).

Q: Care to elaborate on sticker play?

SR: Make it up.

Q: A lot of bowling alleys in Prague?

SR: They build them for us on set. It’s contractual.

[heybeybey]

Kismet

Braindumped this yesterday so now you have this fic.

Thanks to @sleeperswakewriting and @anya-grace. They didn't really push me to write this. It's more like 2 people liked the idea and I'm weak for Rivetra so here you go.

Still dedicating this to the two of you for supporting my need for lolo (grandpa) levi + roller skating petra!! 🖤🧡

Pairing: Rivetra | Levi x Petra

Genre: Fluffy romance!!! Tooth-rotting fluff so sweet that I'm gonna write heartbreaking angst next to balance things out.

Summary: The ginger-haired waitress skates over to him, her pink skirt a flurry behind her. She stops beside his table and gives him a disarming smile. "Welcome to Kismet Diner! What will you be having today, sir?"

Okay, so this diner wasn't a shitty choice after all.

Or: 50s Diner Waitress! Petra x Retired Soldier! Levi Modern AU

[Also, if you wanna listen to the songs Levi was forced to listen to in this fic, here's the playlist.]

--

Sweeter than candy on a stick Huckleberry, cherry or lime If you had a choice he'd be your pick But lollipop is mine

If he's going to listen to another most-likely-already-dead-woman belt out a cheery love song, Levi's sure he's going to finally pop a vein. He grumbles as the next track plays, grateful that this one is more on the mellow side so he can actually focus on his work.

Old school music on loop aside, Kismet Diner is actually pretty decent. They serve good food for an establishment that he thinks is trying way too hard to be a blast-from-the-past monstrosity.

Levi found the place by accident when he was out trying to find a place to work. He didn't feel like spending another evening inside his apartment and thought a change in scenery might help him decompress his mind.

Fucking codes just won't write itself, he thinks.

After wheeling himself around his new neighbourhood for a while, he found that this diner was the only thing open. Having no other choice, he found a spot for himself and settled in with his laptop.

He didn't expect that he'll be returning every night though.

(And that he'd be willing to listen to these cheesy retro love songs every time.)

From behind his laptop, he sneaks another glance at the bubbly server.

He distinctly remembers his first night here. A ginger-haired waitress skated over to him, her pink skirt a flurry behind her, as he settles in his chosen seat. She stopped beside his table and gave him a disarming smile. "Welcome to Kismet Diner! What will you be having today, sir?"

Okay, so this diner wasn't a shitty choice after all, he recalls thinking at that time.

It took him a moment or two to finally answer her and she diligently noted down his order. She flashed him one last smile after she promised that she'll bring his food over in five minutes.

He spent those five minutes feeling like a real creep because his eyes never left her.

It's been a few days since then and he watches her now as she picks up the leftovers from the table in front of his. She wishes a customer goodbye, and skates back to the counter.

"Petra! Think you can extend your shift a little bit? Rico called in sick," a voice from the counter calls out.

"Sure! Her shift's until 1 am right?" The ginger, Petra, replies.

And that's how Levi found himself staying at Kismet Diner until 1 am.

- - -

I laughed at love 'cause I thought it was funny You came along and you moved me honey I've changed my mind, this love is fine

"I think the customers like this song but I can't seem to place what the title is..." The rush hour has since lulled when Petra wonders out loud to the other waitress who's still in the kitchen.

He remembers this one. The older guys back in the military would belt it out when they're drunk as fuck on days when they're allowed to have a break. Frankly, it gave him a headache every time and he doesn't know how Erwin and all the other soldiers were able to take Pyxis seriously after his one-man concert.

He speaks up without thinking.

"Great Balls of Fire by Jerry Lee Lewis."

"Yes, that's the title!" Her eyes light up and she fully spins to face him. "You're into oldies music?"

Levi blinks, and for the first time in his life, he found his throat dry because she's finally talking to him fuck fuck fuck what will he say what was the question again.

"Uh... yeah, I guess?"

Wait, what?

She skates over to his table, a wide smile on her face. "That's so cool! I don't meet a lot of people my age who's still into the oldies. Even my dad teases me about it."

"Oh..."

"What's your name? I'm Petra, by the way. But I think you already know that," she grins sheepishly, pointing to her name plate. "I know I shouldn't really be talking to you but you're here every night so I thought it might be great to get to know our regular customers more."

He blinks up to her, trying to get a hold of himself before he fucks this up even more.

"Levi."

"Nice to meet you, Levi." She looks at her wristwatch and her surroundings, probably checking if there are more tables to cater to, before turning back to him. "My shift's over but I think you stay up late here, right? Mind if I sit with you? I haven't eaten dinner yet and I'd appreciate the company."

He gives her a shrug as his approval and she beams another smile before disappearing back to the kitchen. Petra comes back after a few minutes, still in her pink waitress uniform but without the cap and she also changed her skates to normal cream flats. She brought along a small bag and she unpacks it after sitting down at the chair in front of him.

What the hell is happening?

"Don't get me wrong. I love the food here but it's a bit overpriced if you ask me," she says as brings out her lunchbox. "Don't tell Nanaba that though."

"Wouldn't your boss fire you for randomly inviting yourself at a customer's table?"

"Nanaba? We go way back high school. She's the one who's pushing me to take breaks actually."

They sit in silence for awhile after that. Levi watches as she munches on her sandwich while he takes another sip of his coffee. Not knowing what to say, he just turns back to his laptop to type away. Petra, on the other hand, seems like a great conversationalist.

"So... what's your favorite?" She speaks up after having few bites into her dinner.

"Favorite?"

"Song? There's a lot of classics that deserve attention but I'm curious which one caught your attention."

Fuck.

His mind comes up blank until the image of his blonde best friend came to mind. Erwin knows about this old school shit. Not surprising because he's more ancient than Levi is.

What was that song Eyebrows belted out again when they went on that dreaded karaoke night? He recalls Erwin singing something after his cheating long-distance girlfriend finally broke up with him when they were allowed to call their loved ones.

"Mr. Lonely by Bobby Vinton stuck with me." He replies, again without thinking. She laughs out loud the moment the words were out his mouth and Levi frowns in indignation. "Oi, if you're going to laugh at my shitty taste in music then you can get your ass off my table."

"No, no." Petra wipes away a tear from her laughing. "I think it fits your grumpy 'get-off-my-lawn' grandpa vibe. What, someone broke your heart recently?"

"Grumpy grandpa?" Pretty smile and bubbly personality aside, he's starting to think this woman's a bit rude.

- - -

He's still back the next day though.

"Good evening, sir! Will you be having the usual?" Petra greets. He gives her a slight nod before wheeling himself to his spot. He watches as she flurries around during the dinner rush hour, skating from one table to another. She never loses her smile, even when one lady was being a bitch after Petra delivers the wrong milkshake.

Unlike the previous nights where he's content with just sneaking glances at the gorgeous waitress, Levi spends the next few hours gathering the courage to make a move.

Petra stayed in his table until closing time last night and he listened as she babbled on about all their menu offerings and how she likes creating the milkshakes and the coffee the best.

He'd like to think that they're somehow acquainted enough for him to maybe ask her out.

A look a-there, here she comes There comes that girl again Wanted to date her since I don't know when But she don't notice me when I pass

The booming music is only making him nervous, the cheesy lyrics is pissing him off and fuck, he really wants to punch the music player off right now.

Once Petra finally skates over to him though, setting down his usual black coffee and clubhouse sandwich, he takes his chance.

"Are you free tomorrow night?"

"Sir?" She blinks at him and he almost melts as he stares at her huge amber eyes.

"Uhm... you mentioned that you have Fridays off," he starts. "There's this fair that will be opening tomorrow night and I thought you might be into that. First day's the best time to go too while the crowd hasn't shit on the place yet."

The more he hears his words, the more he wants to kick himself with his still working leg.

He notices that a faint blush started to color her cheeks, eyes shifting down before she gives him a shy smile.

"I'd love to go with you, Levi."

- - -

"Wow, you..."

"Were able to hit them all?" He gears up to shoot the last can. "I was in the military."

"No wonder you have that cool scar!"

His eyes darkens a little bit at that, mind taking him back to the career-ending moment that led to where he is now.

Petra seems to notice his reaction. "I'm sorry, I didn't-"

"It's fine. It's been almost a year." He cuts her off. This day's supposed to be fun and he's not allowing his PTSD to take over his chances of charming a girl (which was already low at his current state, he thinks).

"That's amazing, son!" The guy manning the booth approaches him. "Feel free to pick any prize for the lady."

Petra looks down to him for approval, asking if she can pick a prize or if he'd rather pick one since it was him who won after all. He gives her a small smile, gesturing towards the display of prizes.

He watches as Petra buzzes around in excitement, deciding on whether she should get the elephant plushie or this creepy clown plushie that caught her attention for some godforsaken reason. (He pushes her to get the elephant one instead.)

I've got sunshine on a cloudy day When it's cold outside I've got the month of May I guess you'd say What can make me feel this way

"Vanilla is still the best."

"You're boring," she retorts. "How can you only try mint chocolate just once in your life? You get refreshing and sweet dark chocolate at the same time. It's the best combination out there!"

"Yeah, if you like eating your toothpaste," he retorts back.

"Come on, just give it a chance?"

They're settled on a bench right now, his wheelchair parked next to the seat. They take this opportunity to have a conversation while they finish their ice cream.

He learns that she's currently finishing up a nursing degree and that she's working part-time at Kismet Diner to fund her studies. She has an obsession with mint chocolate ice cream, and that she truly loves skating outside of work because she also does roller derby on the weekends (with her boss Nanaba and another girl named Nifa). She's an only child and her dad currently lives in the countryside.

Levi tells her a little bit about himself too and he's glad that she respects his reserved nature. He doesn't tell her about his time in the military, only that he used to be a captain for a few years before he left. He also shared that he used to pursue a degree in Computer Science before dropping out halfway through to join the military. Since he left, his unfinished degree has been useful since he was able to find consistent freelance opportunities as a web developer.

That seems like the perfect job for someone who's anti-social as you, she notes and he gives her an unamused look.

He also finds out that he's actually ten years older than her, and he feels even more like an old man at that moment.

"Hey, I like your grumpy grandpa vibe," she teases him.

"You'd get along with Gabi and Falco."

"Who? Are they your kids?" Her eyes lights up when she takes note of his fond tone before it starts to narrow in suspicion. "You're not married are you?"

"What? Hell no. My hair would probably be gray now if they were." He says. "They're my neighbours. Both... what? 13 I think? They wouldn't stop pestering me since I moved into the complex a few months ago. Those two brats also won't stop calling me grandpa. Do I really look that old?"

"I'd say it's because of the wheelchair but it's actually your scowl that completes the look," she replies with a cheeky smile.

When they're done with their ice cream, Petra rolls him around while he holds on to her big-ass elephant plushie for her. He'd know she's excited about a booth in particular when he feels his wheelchair move faster towards their destination.

Throughout the night, she won them a bag of lollipops once and Petra insists he takes them home to Gabi and Falco. He, on the other hand, was surprised that his military background would be useful for something as useless as carnival games. His fast reflexes and sharp eye bagged them a few more wins, with the last game earning them a free popcorn.

- - -

Before they capped off the night, Petra (the retro lover that she is) led him to a nearby jazz club that she visited once. She insisted that it's on the way home so why not drop by? The atmosphere is more chill than Levi expected so at least he didn't have to listen to another upbeat bubblegum retro track.

"Come dance with me?" She says after a moment of watching the couples on the small dance floor.

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm on a wheelchair for a reason."

"We can work around it." Ever the optimist, she leans down to try and help him stand up. "Lean yourself on me. I'll support you throughout."

Levi obliges, placing all of his weight on his working left leg while trusting the rest to Petra. He has his arms around and he tries to start moving with her.

He almost slips as he takes another step and in frustration, he attempts to sit down instead. "It's no use Petra-"

Petra's hold on him tightened. "Just trust me a little more Levi."

He sighs, attempting to stand again. They do find the right balance and rhythm on the second try and Levi breathes out in relief.

Soon, they're swaying to the music and Levi couldn't remember the last time he was upright like this, except for when he has to drag himself around with his crutch in the mornings.

Put your lips next to mine, dear Won't you kiss me once, baby? Just a kiss goodnight, maybe You and I will fall in love

"Petra?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm not really into oldies music."

"I know. I realized that when you only kept mentioning the famous hits."

"Huh."

"I actually cringed when you said you liked Mr. Lonely."

"Shut up." She giggles at that and they finally sway in companionable silence, taking in the slow beat.

When the music stops, Petra reaches up to him, placing a kiss on his cheek. He feels his face warm up, throat bobbing as he stares dumbly at her.

"Thanks for tonight, Levi." - - -

Levi goes back to Kismet Diner the next day, and the day after that. He's there every night and she's always the one who takes and serves his order.

He'd accompany her as she eats her late-night dinner on his table and he sometimes brings her some cookies he baked that morning. Nanaba would throw Petra a smirk here and there whenever she serves his table or when Petra clocks off to have dinner with him.

"Your captain's here," he once heard the taller woman whisper to Petra once the door closes to signal his entrance.

Levi would order the same black coffee and clubhouse combination that Petra eventually offered him to try other things on the menu. "Come on, it's on the house! Why can't you just try other options?"

Love me tender, love me sweet Never let me go You have made my life complete And I love you so

One morning three months into getting to know each other, Levi wakes up feeling contentment wash over him when he smells that she's brewing his usual order from his own apartment kitchen.

Petra enters his room beaming a few minutes later, black coffee and a plate of pancakes in each hand. He distinctly notes that she's playing her retro love songs on loud speaker again and he's long since given up on stopping her.

She leans down to place his breakfast on the side table and she starts peppering kisses from his scarred cheek up to the affected blind eye.

"Good morning Levi!" He wholeheartedly accepts both the breakfast and the kisses, hooking his arm around her waist and cuddling closer to her as he sits up in bed.

He takes her in and finds that he slightly misses the pink uniform and roller skates she dons while she serves him at the diner... but he won't deny that he definitely prefers seeing her draped in nothing but his slightly oversized white shirt instead. "Morning."

🧡🧡🧡🧡 ehehe send fic requests here if you'd like

[ksyescribe]

𝑺𝒍𝒆𝒆𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑯𝑪'𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒚 𝒇𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒑𝒓𝒐 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒐𝒆𝒔 ♡

Aizawa (Eraser Head)

Very very cuddly sleeper. Especially after the USJ incident, he just craves more physical touch. He doesn’t show it in public but in private he really needs someone to rely on after all this. And he gets that when he’s home with you :))

He loves having his partner close to him, it gives him comfort having you close by. Plus he wants to make sure you’re safe, he’s well aware there’s people out there who are capable of taking you and using you as a way to get to him.

Most nights he chooses one of two positions. It’s either the two of you entangled together between the sheets or you resting your head on his chest with a leg slung over his hip.

On more demanding days you’ll usually sleep tangled up together, he likes having as much of you on him as possible. Your warmth is grounding and comforting to him. It helps him recharge after these days.

On normal days you’ll just sleep with your head on his chest. It’s just a comfortable classic that lets you be close to him but also have breathability. 

But also Aizawa is a motherfucking furnace and sometimes you wake up sweating from the heat under the covers so this position is great from when it gets too hot for you

Oh forgot to mention this earlier but this is exactly why your room is always cold as hell. Because you both know that when you sleep, the room needs to be super cold to be able to sleep together.

If he’s having a hard day you can easily put him to sleep by just running your hands through his hair as you cuddle on the couch. Usually he lays on top of you with his head on your chest as you watch some dumb show (you both cant stand the news to be honest so you never watch them).

When he comes home and sees you asleep in bed, he loves to come in and spoon you. He just loves protecting you okay??? Please let him, he loves you so much.

Toshinori (All Might)

Doing this in small might form because I feel like small might doesn’t get enough love and I just love him

Sleeping with Toshi is, well, it’s difficult. You have to remember that someone is completely vulnerable in their sleep. Add on top of that the vulnerability he feels now that he doesn’t have One for All. It just makes it very difficult to sleep. 

So when you come along he tells you to not to worry when he doesn’t sleep at the same times you do. 

At first you think it’s just how he is. Probably different schedules and what not. Curiosity killed the cat, so one night you feign sleep and wait for him to come to bed. Just to see what time he sleeps right?

Except, he doesn’t come to bed. At all. 

You find him fast asleep over some papers he’d been grading. Quickly you learn that Toshi can’t fall asleep naturally, he basically collapses with sleep while doing something. That’s the only way he can really sleep. 

You help ease him into sleeping naturally though, bit by bit. The first step is asking him to bring his work into your room. 

“It just makes me feel safe when I know you’re in the room with me.” 

He won’t admit it but the sounds of your breathing while you sleep lure him to bed and he’ll just hold you while you sleep. 

He actually starts to feel safer around you which means that some nights he’ll actually doze off while holding you. This eventually snowballs to him being to naturally sleep but JUST with you. 

In the case that you’re not around he’ll grab some oversized shirt of yours and throw it on. Your scent will help lull him to sleep. 

He’s another one that likes sleeping with your head on his chest. Mostly because one night he asked why you liked sleeping like that and he replied, “It makes me feel safe. Like you’re protecting me.” 

And that was that. 

But he occasionally likes to lay his head on your chest, usually on nights where he just needs to be held and loved. 

He loves loves loves when people play with his hair. He feels like it’s something so intimate he’s missed out on a lot because he was the symbol of peace. 

I really think this man is touched starved like, I know he’s one of the most popular men in the world but I feel like he really spent so much of his All Might time rescuing people that he didn’t you know do relationships and stuff. 

So when you do things like that or cuddle with him in bed he loves it.

I love small might so much wow

PS: Always shares the blanket no hogging

Kamihara (Edgeshot)

OKAY LSITEN

LISTEN

YOU KNOW HOW I SAID BEFORE ALL MIGHT HAS A HARD TIME SLEEPING?

EDGESHOT IS LIKE THE 180 this man can sleep ANYWHERE!!!

Prove me wrong, that’s right, you can’t

He can literally sleep anywhere! Him and Aizawa? Both of them will fall asleep in the most random places!!

Despite that though, he is the world’s lightest sleeper. It’s like a switch, he can knock out in an instant and then be up and ready to go in like a second. 

It also works for when someone thinks about sneaking up on him and he wakes up instantly but won’t show he’s awake. If he senses danger he’ll use his quirk to fold himself into a string and essentially disappear from view. 

If it’s you then be prepared for a launch because he’ll just jump out and squeeze you tight as hell.

Anyways these are sleeping hc’s so leggo

At first Edgeshot’s kinda wack to sleep with because he’s so used to sleeping by himself that when you first sleep together he sleeps WITH HIS BACK TO YOU.

I kid you not this man really said “G’night” and rolled over. Feelings kinda hurt ngl but still

But once he gets used to you??? God he’ll be tangling himself with you. 

I’m talking like legs intertwined, arms wrapped around each other, HIS HAIR PULLED BACK AND AWAY FROM HIS FACE ?? (which is something he only does around you btw)  You’re so tied up you don’t know where one of you starts and where the other begins honestly but you love being wrapped up in him.

Expect to come home and find him asleep in the most odd places in the most odd positions.

When you go to drag him to bed he just pulls you in and wraps himself around you and basically entraps you in a bear hug while he asks you about your day.

With Kamihara you can go to sleep wrapped up in each other but then wake up the next day with just you holding hands but on opposite sides of the bed. 

You know you love each other but sometimes you need your own spaces while you sleep but you still hold each other somehow even if it’s just your hands. 

IS THAT BITCH THAT TAKES ALL THE BLANKETS WHEN HE ROLLS OVER IN HIS SLEEP

Toyomitsu (Fat Gum)

BABYYYYYYYY this man is just a baby

I just wanted y’all to know I love Fat Gum we’d love each other very much

Anyways

Another one who falls asleep as soon as his head hits a pillow or falls asleep quick

He’s just tired from patrolling all the time okay? Give him a break when he’s using his quirk he’s on his feet all day he just wants to rest. 

Remember how I said Edgeshot’s a light sleeper? 

Fat Gum is the OPPOSITE this man could sleep through an explosion and you know what? You probably can too if you’re sleeping next to him

Okay this is weird but y’all know how when you’re walking with someone and sometimes you sling your arm over their shoulders and they do the same?

You both do that but on your stomachs when you sleep. Like arm over your arm over his shoulder, his arm over your shoulders, both of you have like an arm under each of your respective pillows

And you just lay there and decompress and talk about your day as you slowly fall asleep.

Sometimes when you fall asleep first he just lays there looking at your face as you sleep because he finds you so amazing and loves you so so much

If you roll away from him during the night then you’ll probably wake up to him spooning you. Aaaaa he’ll always search for you when you separate in the night. It’s so cute

Favorite way to sleep is probably with your head on his chest and your leg thrown over him.

But if he comes home and you’re dead asleep he’ll probably just snuggle up to you and put his head on your chest and then go to sleep :’)

He’s the type to accidentally hog the covers like on the nights where you sometimes end up on opposite sides of the bed, he’s rolled over and taken the covers with him.

It’s okay because you’ve learned to keep an extra blanket on hand

As well as some snacks when he get hungry

[atlafan]

Take it Slow - Part Fifty-Two

a/n: okay this is my first shot at a harry:y/n fic, and it will be multiple parts. y/n had a bad experience with an ex over a year ago, and finally accepts her coworker and good friend Niall’s invitation to go on a blind date with his friend Harry.

Warnings: Wee bit of angst.

Masterpost (all previous parts can be found in the masterpost)

The Friday before he was going to Florida, Christin came into Harry’s office to go over the small details.

“Okay, so you, Julia, and I are going to meet at the airport around-“

“I’m sorry, who?”

“Julia.”

“Why is she comin’?”

“I want her to see how these expeditions work. Dana’s going to join in on the next one. Why? Do you have a problem with her?”

“No…it’s just…I don’t know. It’s fine.”

When he got home to the barren apartment that night he slammed the door shut, making you jump slightly.

“Jesus.” You say to him.

“Sorry.”

“What’s wrong?”

“They’re sendin’ fuckin’ Julia with me.” He groans. “I don’t want to be alone with her all week.”

“Well, you won’t really be alone with her.”

“You don’t care that she’s gonna be around me?”

“What’s there to care about?” You shrug. “What’s wrong Harry, can’t handle a little girl?” You smirk. “You’ll be fine.”

//

Of course you got your period the weekend of the big move. You and Harry were still able to have a good romp before he left, but it wasn’t the same. Your brother and mom came to help you with everything. Thank god for his truck. Niall, Sarah, and Rachel helped as well. Everything went pretty smoothly.

//

Harry had the aisle seat on the plane, Julia had the middle, and Christin had the window. He hadn’t said much to Julia. She eventually fell asleep, and her head landed on his shoulder. He tried to nudge her off, but she wouldn’t budge. He sighed loudly and tried to fall asleep himself. When she woke up she couldn’t help but marvel at just how beautiful he was. She looked at the pearls around his neck and wanted to know what he might do with them when he wasn’t wearing them. She was hoping to find out at some point during the week.

Harry helped carry the luggage out to the cab Christin had set up for them. The second he was alone in his room he FaceTimed with you. Everyone was eating pizza and laughing.

“Hey babe! You in your hotel?”

“Yes, finally. How’d it all go?”

“Amazingly! Say hi to Harry!” You yell off to everyone. They all say hi, making him chuckle.

“Have a great week off.”

“Anything you want me not to touch?”

“Nah, do whatever you like. M’sure there’ll be plenty left for me when I get back. Save the heavy shit f’me.”

“Can do. The girls are gonna sleep over here with me tonight.”

“Oh good. Wish I could be there.”

“Soon enough. Enjoy the nice weather! Love you!”

“Love you too.”

He sighs and flops onto the bed. This was going to be a very long week. There’s a knock on his door. He looks through the peephole and sees Julia. Here we go. He thinks to himself.

“Yes?”

“Hi.” She squeaks. “Um, Christin and I were gonna go down to the pool for a bit and get some lunch. Would you like to come?” He looks down at her. She had flip flops and a cover up on.

“No. Thanks. You can just have Christin text me when it’s time for dinner. Know she wants to go over all the plans then.”

“Could I have your number?” Both of his eyebrows raise. “You know, just in case.”

“Gimme your phone.” She hands it to him and smirks when he see the picture of Joe Jonas as her lock screen. “My girlfriend loves this guy. Could ya unlock it?”

“Oh sure.” She presses her thumb to the button. He adds his contact information and hands it back to her.

“For emergencies only, alright?”

“Alright…so you’re not going to eat lunch?”

“I might come down in a bit. I’m certainly not goin’ swimming. S’not a vacation.”

“True, but Christin said we could have some fun before working hard all week.”

“How nice for her. That all?”

“Yeah.”

He closes the door, practically in her face, and goes over to his bag. About an hour later he goes down to the hotel restaurant. He puts his sunglasses on and goes outside with his salad that he had made to go. Christin was lounging under an umbrella, he goes over to her and sits down.

“How are you wearing all black?”

“S’not that warm yet.” He shrugs.

“I think it’s perfect weather.”

“Where’s Julia?” Christin points to the hot tub. Harry rolls his eyes. “Thought you weren’t hungry for lunch.”

“I wasn’t earlier, now I am.”

“Hi Harry!” Julia says walking by, dripping wet in a purple two piece. She quickly wraps a towel around herself.

“Hi.” He says without looking at her. She was an attractive girl, and if he was a different type of man he wouldn’t hesitate to take advantage of the situation. But he wasn’t like that…not anymore anyways.

“Wasn’t it your birthday over the weekend?”

“Yes.”

“How was it? How old are you?”

“It was good, I turned twenty-six.” He takes a bite of his salad. “My girlfriend threw me a huge surprise party.”

“She buy you the necklace too?” Christin asks. “Haven’t seen you wear pearls since you first started.”

“Yeah she did.” He smiles. “She’s the best. We’ll have been together six months on Friday.”

“Wow! Good for you, H.” She chuckles.

“How long you and Dan been together?”

“Little over ten years now. Never thought I was going to meet anyone worthwhile until he and I got together.” He nods.

“Sometimes I feel like I’m never going to meet anyone.” Julia says.

“You have so much time, you have no idea. Just enjoy being young.” Christin says with a smile. “Harry, did you even bring a bathing suit with you?”

“I mean Y/N had me pack one, but I doubt I’ll be wearin’ it.” He finishes up his salad and stands up. “Text me when it’s time for dinner, I’m gonna hang in my room for a bit, decompress.” Julia watches him walk away.

“He’s been so private since I met him, it’s so nice to hear him talk about someone like that. He must really love that girl.”

“Yeah.” Julia puts her sunglasses on and rolls her eyes. “Must be nice.”

//

That night at dinner Christin goes over the plans for the week. She tells them what time they’ll need to be up and out, and headed to the site. They’d be going out to an island where a weed had been taking over and the natural plants of the landscape couldn’t grow anymore. Julia would be interviewing the volunteers that go out to get rid of the weed.

“I’m so excited!” Julia says stepping off the elevator with Harry. Of course their rooms were on the same floor.

“Make sure you pack a hat and some sunscreen for yourself. Oh, and water. We’re goin’ to be out for a long time.”

“Right, thanks.” She beams at him. “I’m excited to check out the butterfly garden at the manatee habitat Wednesday too.”

“Yeah, they’re nice people. This is a follow up piece, they started the project last year.” He stops at his door. “Well, this is me.”

“Goodnight, Harry.”

“Night.”

He calls you immediately.

“Is that Harry? Hiiiiii Harryyyyy.” He hears Sarah say through the phone.

“Gettin’ drunk in our place already?”

“Wouldn’t be a proper sleepover now would it? How was your day?”

“Long. I miss you already.”

“Awww. I miss you too baby.” He hears the girls make kissy noises through the phone. “Stop it you guys, be cool! Sorry.” You giggle.

“S’okay. Where are you all sleepin’?”

“We’re camping out in the living room. We all brought our sleeping bags.”

“Oh fun.”

“Mhm. You gonna be able to sleep?”

“Hopefully. I just wish I was there with you, I’m sorry.” He sighs.

“It’s okay. Only six more sleeps til your home.”

“Oh I like that. Six more sleeps.”

“Exactly. I’m gonna go now, I love you. Sweet dreams.”

“I love you too.”

//

The next morning, Harry puts on a white t-shirt, and lathers himself up with sun screen. He puts on a snapback and rests his sunglasses on the collar of his shirt. He packs the cameras and batteries he’ll need. He goes with a pair of light blue jeans and his boots. He meets Julia and Christin down for breakfast. Julia has to stop her jaw from dropping. The t-shirt looked snug against his muscles, and she could make out more of his tattoos. He looks at what Julia’s wearing.

“You might wanna wear pants. Don’t want your legs gettin’ scarped up do ya?” He puts his things down and goes up to the buffet.

“He’s right Julia. You can pack your shorts with you if you get too hot.”

“Okay.” She leaves to go change. Harry sits back down.

“How nice of you to act as her big brother.”

“Just helpin’ her with the tricks of the trade.” She comes back in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. “Much better. You’ll thank me later.”

The three head out to the site once they’re done with breakfast. They take a car out and meet a man at a dock. They have to take a small boat out to the island. Harry puts his sunglasses on. Julia can’t help but watch the curls from under his hat blow in the wind.

Christin and Julia talk with the volunteers at the site while Harry starts walking around. He begins snapping away. Julia was thankful she listened to Harry about everything. From the pants, to the hat, to the extra sunscreen. Her eyes nearly popped out of her head when he took his shirt off. He tucked it into the back of his pants and continued taking pictures.

“Oi! Chris!” She whips her head to look at him. “Couldja spray some lotion on my back?”

“Yeah!” She hustles over to him and sprays the cool lotion onto him.

“Thanks. Sweatin’ my ass off.”

“I know.” She looks at her watch. “Let’s take a break and get you into the shade a bit. I packed some lunch.”

“Sounds good.”

“Julia, c ‘mon it’s lunch time.” She says to her.

The three sit in some shade and eat the sandwiches Christin brought. Julia can’t help but stare at Harry. He looks up and catches her gawking at him.

“You act like you’ve never seen a tattoo before.” He says to her.

“Sorry.” Her face blushes. “Um, when did you-“

“Got ‘em all years ago. Late teens and early twenties.” Harry’s phone buzzes and sees a text from you. He immediately smiles. You had sent him a video of the kitchen. He hits play.

“Hi! Okay, so I unpacked most of the kitchen. My mom helped a lot yesterday. Our bed is all made up too, but I can show you later. Isn’t it so nice in here? The girls were really jealous. Hope you’re having a good time! Please make sure you reapply your sunscreen, I don’t want you burnt to a crisp when you come back. Love you!” He chuckles and texts you back.

“Is she your mom or girlfriend?” A snide remark from Julia. Harry looks over at her slowly and squints.

“Nothin’ wrong with her checkin’ in. She loves me and wants me to be safe.” He gets up. “In fact, I’m gonna go send her a video a quick.”

He walks away so neither of them can hear him. He shows you where he is. When you get the video you can’t help but just stare at his sweaty torso. He looks really cool with the snapback and sunglasses. You text him immediately with a kissy face.

“Alright, let’s get back to it.” Christin says.

Harry grabs his camera and walks around the vegetation more. Julia got all she needed for the article that needs to be written, so she decides to follow Harry around. She watches the way he snaps the photo and looks at it to see if he likes it. He knew she was following him, but he didn’t mind. Maybe she just wanted to observe.

“Here, what do you think of this one?” She leans in to look at the upclose shot.

“Really cool! It’s crisp.”

“Mm.” He agrees. “Hey, I think we have everything we need.” He says to Christin.

“Let me look through.” He hands her the camera, and take his shirt out of his pants to put back on. “Oh these are amazing! I knew I was smart to bring you. I can’t wait to get you into that butterfly garden Wednesday.”

“What are we doin’ for the next couple of days?”

“Your favorite; under water shots. These same people are deploying oysters near the coast in this bay to help stop the erosion.” A smile grows on Harry’s face. “You’d be pissed if I did this without you, now wouldn’t you?”

“Maybe a little. And technically, my favorite shots are at night.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Let’s head back to the boat.”

//

That night you decided to have a glass of wine while organizing some boxes. You didn’t want to go through too many of Harry’s things. You stumble upon a smaller box that said “X Photos” on it. Were they pictures of ex-girlfriends? Your buzzed curiosity takes over and you open it. You gasp when you see the first photo. It was of Harry. Only he was fully naked, lying on the floor, his legs leaning up against a wall, tastefully covering his manhood.

“Oh my god.” You say to yourself. “Who the fuck took these for him?”

You sit down and go through them. There were dozens more. He looked good, really good. The pictures didn’t look too old either. You were amazed at how the camera captured every curve of his beautiful body. Then there it was. A picture of him holding his fully erect penis with a smirk on his face. You realize the x on the box meant it was rated x.

“Jesus.”

Your eyes dance over the way he grips himself, and you need to put it down before your mind wanders. There was a more serious photo behind it. There were a couple of him wearing boxers too. He looked like an underwear model. Despite them being so revealing, the pictures were gorgeous. The lighting was perfect.

“Where did he take these?” You squint at one photo. You sort of recognize it and you gasp. “His flat in London.” Your phone goes off and you nearly jump. A FaceTime request from Harry. “Shit.” You put the pictures away quickly and answer the phone. “Hey babe.”

“Hey!”

“You looked cute earlier.”

“Thanks. And I didn’t get sun burnt. Got a nice tan comin’ along though.”

“Can’t wait to see it.”

“You look a bit flushed, are you alright?”

“Um.” You look back at the box. You weren’t sure if you should tell him about finding his very personal photos. “Okay, I wasn’t snooping through your things, but I found some photos…of you.”

“Oh?” He furrows his brows trying to think. “Oh! The naked ones?” He had zero shame or embarrassment.

“Yeah.”

“Good, was hopin’ you’d find those.” He smirks. “What’d you think?”

“They were gorgeous of course. Who…took them for you?”

“I took ‘em myself. I was home for a few weeks last summer and I was bored. I had just gotten a new lens, and I was testing out some black and white effects.”

“And you had them printed?”

“Printed ‘em myself too. I had gotten a fancy photo printer.”

“You were…hard in a few of them.”

“Mhm.”

“Why?”

“Don’t know, I was just havin’ fun.”

“Oh.”

“Was that your favorite?”

“Actually, this one was.” You go into the box and take out the first photo you saw.

“Oh yeah, there’s some left to the imagination with that one.”

“You should seriously just be an underwear model.” He chuckles. “I’m serious.”

“I know you are.” He smirks at you.

“What?”

“Nothin’, just thinkin’, like, would you ever let me take pictures of you like that? You know, tasteful ones?”

“Like a boudoir thing?”

“Sure. We could set the loft up all nice, and the pictures would just be for us.”

“I’ll think about it. I feel like I would be so awkward.”

“I’d tell ya exactly what to do. Totally professional.”

“Has someone ever paid you to take boudoir photos?”

“God no. Although, I have taken a few pictures of some naked pregnant women before.” He laughs.

“So, how was your day?”

“It was good. I’m going under water tomorrow, I’m actually kind of excited.”

“Oh that sounds like fun!”

“Yeah…I wish I could go to sleep with you.”

“Me too. Bed feels too big when you’re not there.”

After some more chatter, you both hang up, and you go do your nightly routine. Just as you’re getting into bed, you get a snapchat text from Harry.

“What in the…” You open it.

Harry: textin ya on here so the messages disappear.

Your cheeks heat up. He was in the mood.

You: Alright

Harry: I’m really fuckin hard

“Jesus.” You feel your lower stomach twist in knot.

You: oh? Just from seeing my little face?

Harry: yes

You: are in bed?

Harry: yes

You: would you like to know what I would do if I were there?

Harry: enlighten me

A wicked grin grows on your face as you dial his number.

“Hello?” He says chuckling.

“Hey, I just thought of something fun and I thought you might like to hear my voice as I say it.”

“Alright, lay it on me.”

“I have a challenge for you, and I’ll do the same so you won’t suffer alone.”

“Okay?”

“I don’t want you to touch yourself at all while you’re gone.”

“No way, it’ll be easier for you since you’re on your period.”

“I usually get off in the shower without telling you.”

“Jesus, don’t tell me stuff like that.” He groans as his cock twitches. “Why do you wanna do this to me?”

“Because imagine how fucking good it’s gonna feel when you come home. Please?”

“What will I get as a reward? There’s gotta be a really good incentive here.”

“Reward? Babe, I’m going to let you fucking annihilate me when you get back.”

“Fuck.”

“But that’s only if you do as I ask, okay? We’re on the honor system here.”

“And you’re not gonna do anythin’ either?”

“Nope.”

“Alright, challenge accepted.”

“Sweet dreams, hope you don’t wake up with sticky sheets thinking of me.” You giggle and hang up.

//

By mid-week you were really starting to miss Harry. It wasn’t like you could just go hang out with Niall or your other friends during the day because they all still had to work. There was plenty to do in the apartment, but you didn’t want to do any of it without him. You decided to spend some time getting a jump on your assignments for class. There was a big research paper you had to do, and now was as good a time as any to start it. Niall said you could come over for dinner that night, and you were excited you didn’t even have to drive to go over. You loved your new place, but you knew you’d love it more once Harry was home.

//

Harry was exhausted by the time Wednesday rolled around. He spent two days diving under murky water just to get some pictures of oyster shells in bags. He got some great shots, but fuck, at what cost? He’d be spending the rest of the week at the manatee habitat. He wasn’t super thrilled.

“This is beautiful!” Julia exclaims, stepping into the butterfly garden. “Harry, do you think we’ll see any manatees?”

“Probably not, they’re not usually here this time of year.”

“Oh.” Her smiles slowly fades.

“But, um, you can certainly look. There could be some.”

Christin was inside the building talking to the couple of people that worked at the habitat. She walks out with them and Harry wants to blow his brains out.

“H, you remember Molly and Beth right?”

“Sure, hi.” He shakes both of their hands. He had slept with Molly last time he was here. Not super professional, but so it goes.

“So glad you’re back.” Molly says to him. Julia comes walking back over.

“Ladies, this is Julia, she’ll be interviewing you for the next couple of days.”

“Great! Should we start with the garden?” Beth asks.

“Sure!” Christin and Julia follow her. Harry fiddles with his camera.

“How you been?” Molly asks him, her cheeks flushed.

“Good, really good. How ‘bout yourself?” He takes a test shot of a tree. “So fuckin’ bright out today, wish it was overcast.” He says to himself. She raises an eyebrow at him. “Less shadows when it’s overcast, can get a clearer picture. I’m gonna have to fuck with all the settings.”

“You’re a talented guy, as I recall.” She winks at him and walks to catch up with the others.

Once he gets things how he likes, Harry starts snapping shots. The benches in the garden were painted a vibrant blue. He thinks of you, knowing you’d love the color. He takes his phone out quick to take a picture to send to you. He gets a reply immediately and smiles big, then puts his phone away.

“What do you suppose made him smile like that?” Molly asks Julia. She sighs.

“Probably his girlfriend that he’s gaga for.” She rolls her eyes.

“Girlfriend?” She watches Harry squat so he can take a picture of a butterfly that’s just landed on top of a flower. “Damn, that’s too bad.”

“Why’s that?”

“Oh, nothing, never mind.” She shakes her head.

Harry comes walking over to Julia and Molly.

“Where’s Chris?”

“Inside with Beth.”

“Right, well she has all the water.”

“Thirsty, Harry?” Molly was trying to be cute with him, but he wasn’t having it.

“I can get it myself, but thanks for offerin’.” He says sarcastically, brushing by her.

“Pleasant as ever.” She crosses her arms.

“Did, um, something happen between you two?”

“Not super appropriate to talk about while on the job.”

“It’s off the record.” Julia jokes.

“Yeah, when he was here last year we hooked up. And I’ll be honest, I still think about it. He, uh, really knows what to do with it.”

“Did you stay in contact at all?”

“Nope, he totally ghosted me after he went home. Don’t blame him though.” She shrugs. “I mean, I didn’t expect a long distance relationship or anything. But I am disappointed that he’s not single. Wouldn’t have minded picking up where we left off.”

Harry comes back out with his Julia’s water bottles. He hands it to her.

“Thanks Harry! I could’ve gotten it.”

“I know.” He smiles at her. “This one wants to see a manatee, could ya walk her around and show her where they usually are?”

“I’d be happy to, come on Julia. The habitat is pretty big.”

Julia mouths thank you to Harry and he nods. Selfishly he was happy to be alone in the garden to walk around and snap shots as he pleased.

“He seems to like you.” Molly says to her.

“He was just being nice. He’s not always so nice though. He can be kind of snippy, but also mysterious.”

“Definitely mysterious.”

“I have a huge crush on him, it’s so hard.” She looks back at him.

“Look, it’s not like he’s married.” She shrugs. “It’s okay to flirt a little.”

//

“Harry these are beautiful! Well done!” Christin says looking over the days’ worth of shots. “Can’t wait to come back tomorrow so we can get some more.”

“Thanks, beautiful garden. Very tranquil.”

“You both ready for some dinner? There’s a restaurant around here we can go to.”

“Sounds great.” Julia says.

The three end up at a bar and grille.

“Okay, so, as a rite of passage, we’re ordering the fried alligator.” Christin giggles. “I know you won’t eat it Harry, so we’re also getting the fried pickles.”

“Fine.”

“Why fried alligator?”

“Because we’re in Florida and it’s a tradition when we come down here.”

“The girls at the habitat were really nice.”

“Yeah, they were great to us last year. Harry even got a private tour of the area.” He chokes on his drink. “Remember? Molly took you for a drive to some other sites.”

“Yup, I remember.” His cheeks started to turn a light pink.

“So, what’s your new place like?”

“It’s massive. Two bedrooms and two full baths. And there’s a loft. Not entirely sure what we’re gonna do with it yet. She said I could use it as a home studio, but I think we should just both put our desks up there and have it as a more formal working space. We’ll see.”

“That’s great, H. Sorry all this got in the way of your move.”

“S’okay, she was really understanding.”

“Julia, any boys come into your life at school?”

“Not this semester since the internship is full time.”

“You must still go to parties and hang out with friends though.”

“Oh I do…no one’s really caught my eye. Guys my age can be really immature.”

“Take it from me, guys at every age are immature.” Harry gives her a look as he scoffs. “It’s true! That’s why I opted for an older man. Hubby’s got five years on me, that’s why it worked. Our maturity levels are the same. You’re older than Y/N, right Harry?”

“Yeah, but only by a year and half.”

“Still, older is the way to go.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Julia says.

//

After his shower, Harry couldn’t wait to settle into bed with his book. He had cranked the A/C and got cozy in his favorite joggers and a t-shirt. Just as he was getting his glasses on, there was a light tap on his door. He sighs heavily and goes over to the door to see Julia.

“Yes?”

“I didn’t…I didn’t know you had glasses.” He pushes them up like a headband to rest on the top of his head.

“They’re for readin’.” He crosses his arms. He looks down to see her holding some toiletries and some pj’s. “What’s all this?”

“My shower doesn’t have any hot water.”

“Didja give it a minute?”

“Gave it like ten minutes, just wouldn’t heat up.”

“So…why are here?”

“Could I use your shower?”

“Go use Christin’s.”

“I can’t, she wouldn’t answer her phone. She must’ve passed out after dinner. Please, Harry?”

“Alright, fine. But make it quick.” He lets her into the room.

“Thank you so much!”

“Should still be a dry towel in there.”

She nods and goes into the bathroom. How the fuck did he get himself into this? He picks up his phone and immediately calls you.

“Hey baby, you ready to read to me?”

“I was…”

“What do you mean?”

“Julia’s in my shower.” He whispers.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“She said her hot water wasn’t workin’.”

“And yours was?”

“Well…yeah. I hope she fuckin’ leaves right after. I don’t know what kind of game she’s playin’.”

“Oh, you’re paranoid.”

“I don’t know, this seems weird.”

“Harry, she knows you’re in a relationship, she’s not going to try anything funny.”

“Not everyone’s a nice as you.” You sigh.

“Look, it’s not like I can come down there and save you. Do you wanna stay on the phone with me so she leaves right away?”

“No…I think that’ll make it more awkward.” He hears the water turn off. “Shit, I think she’s done. At least she listens.”

“What?”

“I told her to make it quick.” He sighs. “I’m gonna turn the TV on. I’ll call you back in a bit.”

“Alright.” He hangs up.

He flips the channels to see if anything good was on. Reruns of The Simpsons, that’ll do. He hears the door click open, she comes out in a tank top and shorts. Her hair was down and still pretty wet, causing the top of her shirt to get wet.

“Were you talking to someone?”

“Hm? Um, yeah, I was just on the phone quick.” She looks at the TV.

“Anything good on?”

“Just The Simpsons.” He sighs.

“Oh I love The Simpsons!”

“Aren’t you a little young to love this show? You probably don’t get half the references.”

“Some of the older episodes are a little confusing, but for the most part I just think it’s funny.” She sits on the corner of the bed, and Harry inches backwards.

“Listen, um…”

“Is it okay if I hang out for a bit? These nights have been a little boring and lonely. I can only check my social media so many times.”

“You can stay for one episode, but that’s it. I’m pretty tired…been out all day in the sun ya know?”

“Alright, thanks Harry.” She turns around to look at the space next to him on the bed. “Do you mind if I-“

“You can sit in the chair if you’re back hurts sittin’ like that.” He points to the chair near the desk in the room. She sighs.

“That’s alright, I’ll just sit like this.” She shifts to lay on her stomach, propping her face up with her palms. Ass fully on display for him. She knew exactly what she was doing.

Harry pinches the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. He tries to just concentrate on the TV. It was a pretty good episode too. He finds both him and Julia giggling at certain parts.

“Harry?” She turns to look at him, laying on her side.

“Hm?”

“Did you always know you wanted to be a photographer?”

“No…it was just a hobby for a long time. When I got to uni I took an intro photographer course and realized it was what I wanted to do.”

“You do a lot of freelance work right?”

“Mhm.”

“Does that get tiring on top of all this?”

“Yeah, sometimes.”

“What types of-“

“Why are yeh askin’ me all these questions?”

“Just trying to get to know you better…I’ve been working for you for nearly two months and I feel like I don’t know a single thing about you.”

“You don’t work for me.”

“I work with you…I know Isaac really well, even Myk at this point. She’s gotten a little nicer. I think she was happy I got sent here instead of her.”

“She wouldn’t have wanted to be on a plane with me for three hours, that’s for sure.” He smirks.

“Did you two used to date?”

“I think that’s enough with the personal questions.”

“That’s a yes.” She smiles.

“We didn’t date.” He sighs. “Sometimes when you’re young and stupid…you do stupid things.”

“You’re still young, Harry. Really young.” She giggles. “Remember the day you said I could just call you Harry?”

“Um…”

“I actually kind of miss just calling you Mr. Styles.” Yup, he knew exactly what she was doing.

“Julia, I-“

“And you thought my name was Julie, that was so cute. You could’ve called me whatever you wanted, and I probably wouldn’t have cared.” She laughs. Harry looks at the clock on the night table.

“Look, it’s gettin’ late, and I’m supposed to call my girlfriend back.”

“That was her earlier, wasn’t it?”

“Yes. And I need to call her back.”

“What’s so important?” He sighs heavily.

“She is.” He gets off the bed and walks towards the door. “You came here for a shower, remember? Should I call maintenance for you tomorrow so this doesn’t happen again? Or will everything be miraculously fixed?” She gets up and stands near him.

“You think I lied about my shower being broken? Why would I lie about that?”

“You tell me.” He crosses his arms. She swallows hard. “I think you’re a nice girl, I do. I think you have a lot of potential as a writer. But you’re out of your fuckin’ mind if you think I would ever do anythin’ to hurt my girlfriend. So, whatever you thought might happen by comin’ in here, needs to leave your head because it’s not.”

“I…”

“Even if I was single, you’re like six years younger than me, I wouldn’t take advantage of someone like that. Trust me, you don’t wanna fuck someone you work with.”

“But you can fuck the people you see on business?” She crosses her arms. “Molly told me.”

“Of course she did.” He rolls his eyes. “Listen-“

“Stop telling me to listen! I’m an adult, same as you, and I-“

“Really? Because comin’ in here the way you did makes you look like a child, a brat actually. Tryin’ t’get your way. Did you really think a little pair of shorts was goin’ t’be enough to seduce me?” She blinks at him, she feels tears prick at her eyes. “Shit.”

“I just…I don’t know…I really like you, Harry.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Don’t tell me how I feel!”

“But you don’t even know me, Julia.” He puts a hand on her shoulder. “You know some version of me you see at work every day.”

“I’m really fucking attracted to you, I can tell you that.”

“I’m sorry about that, really I am. But it’s just not gonna happen.” He takes his hand off her.

“What does she have? What makes her so goddamn special?”

“For starters, she’s out of undergrad and has her life together.” He knew what he said would slice right through her, but she needed to hear it. “I can’t really explain the rest of it. I quite literally think she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life, she brightens my day just bein’ herself, and I love every little fuckin’ thing about her, even her less than favorable qualities. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, and I hope to god you meet someone that makes you feel the same way too. It’s the most amazing and awful feeling at the same time. If I were to lose her, especially over somethin’ like this, I don’t know what I would do. A quick fuck isn’t worth it, and maybe someday you’ll learn that. And honestly, shame on you for comin’ in here and tryin’ to make somethin’ happen when I’ve told you time and time again how in love I am with her.”

“I’m sorry, okay! I know I was wrong.” He sighs again.

“I forgive you. Look, I’m happy to be friendly with you, give you any advice I can about the job, whatever you need, but that’s where this ends, that’s where the line is, alright? I know how a lot of people at the studio look at me. I see it on Isaac’s face every mornin’ when I walk in, and I see it when I look at some of the other people. Don’t you think I feel bad? It’s partially why I keep my distance. I don’t want to make anything worse for anyone else.”

“But that adds to it! The mystery is so sexy.” She laughs. “When I say that out loud I just sound pathetic.”

“You’re not pathetic, you’re a girl with a crush…and I’m sorry I can’t return your feelings.”

“It’s not your fault.” She sighs. “I’m really sorry about all of this, I made such a fool out of myself…”

“It’s okay. Let’s just move on, yeah?”

“Okay. Well, I guess I’ll go now. I’m really sorry again, I didn’t mean to spoil your night.”

“Don’t think much of it, not spoiled at all.” He smiles at her and opens the door.

“Can you not mention any of this to Chris? I, um, lied about texting her.”

“I assumed so, and yeah, I won’t tell her.”

“Thanks…you’re really cool you know that?”

“Goodnight, Julia.”

“Night.”

He closes the door and locks it. He wants to scream. He can’t believe he just had to lecture her like it was his child or something. He jumps to the bed and FaceTimes you immediately.

“It’s about time, I was just about to fall asleep. Did she just leave?”

“Yeah…she made a pass at me.”

“What?!”

“Well, nothing physical…but she was wearing really short shorts and said something like how she missed just calling me Mr. Styles…so I gave her a stern talking to and had her leave.”

“A stern talking to from Mr. Styles.” You giggle.

“This isn’t funny! She thought I was goin’ t’fuck her.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t.”

“I would never.”

“I know that.”

“You really weren’t worried about her at all?”

“Harry, you’re a big boy, and more importantly, I trust you. You said you’d never do anything to hurt me and I believed you. What we have is solid, I know you wouldn’t risk it just for some college girl’s loose vagina.” He bursts out laughing.

“Not exactly a woman supporting another woman are yeh?”

“I don’t have to talk nice right now, she just tried to get into your pants.”

“Wish you were here to get into my pants.”

“How are you doing with the no touching?”

“I’ve refrained, just like you told me to. It’s fuckin’ torture.”

“It’ll be worth it, I promise.”

[tiptoelightlypastmymind]

alright so life update and stuff cuz i used to do a whole lot more of that on here but!

so you mighta missed my lil tags only post on friday but it turns out my older brother has lymphoma, likely stage 4. they’re running a test today to determine what stage he’s on. he’s always been in poor health but that’s mostly been due to him being very diabetic and not taking good care of his blood sugar. the whole family is really optimistic about it since the doctors apparently are super optimistic. i, however, remain sus af so we’ll see. sounds like he’ll be doing chemo every 15 days, unless they find something else out in his tests they’re running. tbh i haven’t been close to my older brother since we were kids. i actively have avoided him when ive visited home lately, and i clash with him a decent amount when we play WoW as a family on the weekends. combine that with the fact that ive known for years that it was never a question of “if” but only of “when” something like this would happen with him, and... i freaked out for about five minutes on friday when i got the text with the diagnosis, and now im just kinda like life is gonna do what life is gonna do. mb im callous, mb im morbid, but idk, i do gotta be one of the ones to survive and hold things together for the family ya know.

what’s been very weird is having productive conversations with my parents. i have, for all intents and purposes, kept them at arms length for some time now. they didn’t handle me coming out very well ten years ago (ten years! time flies), and truth be told i have some resentment from that still lmao. they didn’t handle me working at pizza hut at all that well either. but now they’re 61, retirement is approaching, and i work with my best friend who is a really fucking good financial planner (which includes helping ppl plan for retirement). so between bringing them on board as clients and the cancer stuff, im suddenly back in the middle of a lotta family dynamics i had intentionally removed myself from.

and i guess what surprises me is that it’s... okay. if i lived at home i would be pulling my hair out. ive been over their quirks and foibles for years and years and years now. but living two states away, it’s all... removed. and that’s nice. it’s not my problem anymore. yeah, i know enough to know that someday i’ll have to help them out in retirement. but tbh im okay with that bc (1) in my current job, when that day comes ill be able to afford that and (2) they, financially, helped me out a lot, and i do want to be able to pay that back, as it were. but it’s so weird being plugged back into the daily going ons and concerns at times. just this time, i have actual power and pull in the conversation, which i never had living at home.

so yuh, that’s where life is. work is really really busy. i have a long weekend coming up and im gonna take a lotta time to just Decompress. probs play a buncha skyrim tbh bc even tho i just got my mod load order set i wanna make more changes so lord help me there. but it’ll be nice to unplug for a bit and just... vibe.

anyhoo, that’s the life update. thanks for reading, toodles~

[helaintoloki]

so we know from that one scene in the hospice where dan sings come fly with me, that he probably hums to himself quite a bit and has a very sweet voice, could you imagine him singing little songs to you????? like especially when you can’t sleep and he just sings quietly, holding you to his chest- GUH (also him being great at singing lullabies to your kids wow)

a/n: why would you do this to me? my heart cannot handle how soft this is. this isn’t even a request but I’m writing a little blurb to go with it because I just need it that bad🥺

It had been a really bad day.

Your car had broken down on the way to work, you had been chewed up and spit out by your boss in front of all of your coworkers, you had went starving after discovering someone had eaten your lunch, and to top it off you had received a call from the hospital telling you your mother was sick. Living all the way in California, you’d have to scrounge up enough money to buy the cheapest ticket available in order to go see her. Things were not working out for you, the world was against you, and all you wanted to do was curl into a ball and cry until you either knocked out or ran out of tears.

Dan is already waiting for you with open arms when you get home; one of the perks of having the shining is being in tune with your emotions and being able to prepare to help you. He draws you a bath and makes you dinner, peppers kisses on your face as soon as you’re in reach and lovingly washes your hair as you decompress in the warm bath water. A warm towel is waiting for you when you are done, and Dan takes the liberty of dressing you in one of his sweaters before tucking you into bed. You feel thoroughly loved and comforted, but still the negativity continues to nag at you, eating away your happiness before you even have a chance to savor it.

“My sweet girl,” Dan coos softly, enveloping you in his tender embrace as he pulls you close to his chest. His chin rests on the crown of your head, your face buried in the soft fabric of his pajama shirt, and your loving partner begins to soothingly card his fingers through your hair. “I’m sorry you had a bad day.”

“Will you sing me a song?” You mumble, voice slightly muffled from where your face is hidden. You miss the gentle smile that graces his features, the corners of his eyes crinkling ever so slightly.

“Fly me to the moon and let me play among the stars. Let me see, oh I wanna see what spring is like. On Jupiter and Mars.”

A hum of contentment leaves your lips and your arms wind tighter around his torso at the sound of one of your favorite songs leaving his lips. He knows you like the back of his hand, knows just what to do to bring your spirits up, and you will forever be thankful to have a man like Dan Torrance in your life.

“In other words, hold my hand. In other words darling, I love you.”

“I love you,” you mumble sleepily in tune with Dan, smiling as an airy chuckle escapes him. Another kiss is pressed to your hair.

“Fill my heart with song. I wanna sing to you darling forever more, baby. You, all I long for, worship and adore.”

“Can’t you see that I love ya? I’m simply trynna tell you that I care for ya darling.”

“Fly, fly, fly me to the moon, and let me play among the stars,” Dan’s soothing voice drifts throughout the bedroom, reaching your ears as you fall deeper and deeper into a restful sleep.

[ansgar-martinsson]

The Best Intentions - Part 22

“Oh, that,” he said, glancing at his right shoulder as he sat back against the chaise. “That’s nothing.”

She chuckled sardonically. “Feels more like something.”

Ansgar’s muscles trembled for a split second at her touch on the sensitive, raised and smooth skin, in spite of the barrier of his linen shirt between. He covered her exploratory hand with his, stilling her.

“Tell me. Please.” she implored.

He squeezed her hand, but did not pull it away from his ruined arm. “I nearly lost everything that day,” he began. “My brother, my own life, and I thought, when I came out of it all… I thought I’d never play piano again,” he smiled sadly, “as cliche’ as it sounds.”

“What happened?” She shifted on the chaise, her legs still over his thighs, but she curled up beside him, replacing her hand on his arm with a pillowing of her head. “Tell me as much or as little as you want.”

He took a deep breath. “I trusted her, trusted this… person,” he sneered, “with my company. She was the director of finance, so… in charge of the money, of the financial direction of my company. And well, she got greedy, decided that… for whatever reason I wasn’t living up to her expectations as a CEO, I don’t know, but whatever it was, she… well, let’s just say she attempted to defraud me out of a lot of money. And beyond that,” he paused, swallowing down a wave of renewed anger, a reminder of the fury and furious ire he’d felt years ago. He took a heavy breath and squirmed, suddenly uncomfortable.

“It’s okay,” Joline whispered, placing her warm hand gently upon his cheek. “You don’t have to – “

“No,” Ansgar clipped, licking and wiping his lips. “It’s in the past. I’m fine.”

“You sure?”

He nodded, a small, tight-lipped smile crossing his face.

“Can you continue?”

“Yeah,” he huffed, and then took a deep breath. “She arranged for… no, that’s not right… she outright murdered my VP of field ops - a very good friend of mine. Murdered him so that she could pocket the proceeds of a key employee insurance policy she took out – and she took it out in my name, with my bank account information and a mockup of my signature.” He chuckled mirthlessly. “And when the police investigated it, of course the motives all pointed back to me. She not only tried to ruin my business, not only took the life of someone close to me, but she tried to frame me for it.”

“Shit, Sgar.”

“Yeah. Shit. Shit is right. Anyway, long story short, we… meaning Magnus and I - he was still a detective at the time, and he was on the case - we caught up to her. Figured it all out. She didn’t like that, not one bit, so she shot my brother in the shoulder but not before she ran me off the road. My car, well, Magnus’ car with me driving it, flipped three times before I landed in the median off the E4. Pretty spectacular, really. Ball of flame and the whole nine yards.” He grinned, but the smile did not reach his fiery eyes.

“Oh my God!” She gasped and covered her mouth with a shaking hand. Her eyes went wide and her brow furrowed in concern. A coating of saline appeared over her irises, sluicing down to form a single tear from the canthus of her right eye. “Ansgar….”

“I’m fine now, obviously,” he said. “I somehow managed to walk out of the wreckage, but not unscathed. Two broken ribs.” He lifted his ruined shoulder. “And that. Compound fracture of the humerus and a dislocation that they couldn’t reduce in the ED. Worst pain I ever felt in my entire life. Had three surgeries on that puppy. I could barely lift my arm for months. Spent nearly a year and a half in physio before I could move my fingers properly or even lift that hand to the piano again.”

“Wow,” she huffed.

“Yeah,” he said. “I can’t go very long without playing, so it drove me a little mad for a while. A friend of mine told me about this episode of an American TV show where the chaplain in an army base told a wounded soldier about this piece composed for one hand. I did some research, and found a few pieces - Prelude Opus 9 by Scriabin, one by Ravel, and some by a more modern composer called Theodore Edel. I played a lot of that Ravel piece and a lot of Edel’s music for a long time.” He laughed. “Not my favorite composer, not Philip Glass, but at least I was able to play.”

“Did you play it for anyone?”

He shook his head. “I don’t play for other people, typically. I play for myself,” he confessed. He lifted his hands from her thighs and considered them, flexing his fingers as he turned his hands over, back and forth, his head bowed, his gaze distant and glassy upon them. “It’s… it’s my sanity, my… my meditation, if you will,” he declared. “It’s my way of starting the morning, my way of decompressing, of distancing myself from reality for a while without drugs or alcohol or the like. Well,” he chuckled, “one of my ways. I have others, one of which you’ve already experienced last night.”

“Well, then,” she took one of his hands in hers, once again taking up the study of the lines of his fingers, the plane of his palm. She raised her eyes to his with a wry smile, her gaze half-mast and flirty. “I like the way you decompress.”

Ansgar opened his mouth to speak, leaned in with his eyes hooded, to hopefully initiate a session of stress relief, when the doorbell rang.

“Ah, shit. That’s crap timing.”

“Who’s here?” Joline frowned.

“Dinner’s arrived,” Ansgar gently moved her legs off his lap and unfolded his own, stretching slightly as he stood. “I’ll go let them in so they can set up. Stay here.”

“Oh,” Joline pouted mockingly. “And here I thought you’d cooked for me.”

“I don’t cook.” Ansgar snorted derisively. “You don’t want me cooking for you, believe me. When the primal cells that became Magnus and myself divided in my mother’s womb, my brother sucked up all the gastronomic protoplasm for himself.”

“Really!?” she chimed, shifting forward on the chaise, her elbows upon her knees in rapt interest. “Are you saying, in your really, really weird way, that you can’t cook?” she wriggled further forward, her face lit up with a child-like excitement. “Do you mean there truly is something the great and mighty Ansgar Martinsson, the Lion of Stockholm, can’t do? I’m shocked!”

He laughed, and tipped his head in acknowledgement of her well-placed jibe. “There are many things I can’t do, my darling Joline. However, I’m far too arrogant to admit it.” He gave her an elaborate yet silly bow. “Now, if you will excuse me, I need to go show my friend the Michelin-starred chef where to prepare our meal, and criticize her sharply for not cooking the meat to my specifications.” He winked. “Or something arsehole-ish like that.”

“Go on then, you do that.”

He stepped quickly to her, bent and kissed her. He pulled back, his tongue snaking out to taste her upon his lips as he brushed his nose against hers, as he gazed at her, a soft, longing shape to his eyes. His look was as delicate as his touch on her cheek, as warm as the curved bow of his smile. “Be right back. Don’t move.”

At first, Joline obeyed. She knew better than to test Ansgar when he issued a command, but the story of his brush with mortality smacked of her present circumstances. With her mother as sick as she was, Joline considered every day with her a gift, a guardian angel on her shoulder.

As she crossed her arms on the rear of the sofa, she felt a twinge of gratitude for whichever guardian angel spared Ansgar on that day, the day he nearly lost his life, his arm and his brother. She enjoyed watching him walk away, the expansive shoulders, the slim waist, the tight ass, and the hard lines of his legs. Shallow, of course, she admitted to herself, but to her credit, she didn’t know him well. She appreciated his generosity with her nephews and naturally herself and her ambitious plans for the opera house.

But she had to wonder if he worked some angle that she couldn’t see or imagine. He was a business man, a successful one, and business men displayed unattractive qualities. Would those spill over into his private relationships?

Joline’s brain didn’t work in the crooked or the mischievous. She liked logic, and to a certain extent, rules and boundaries. She liked diplomacy, an acceptable outcome of compromise between disagreeing parties. She didn’t work in scheming. That could be why she couldn’t see who sabotaged her theatre on her watch under her own nose.

With a double kiss, Ansgar greeted, a svelte blonde woman in a pristine white chef’s coat. “Rose,” he said in a robust decrescendo. “Bless you and your stars for coming.”

“Martinsson, where the devil have you been? They revoked one of my stars because my best customer fucked off to parts unknown.” The wide eyed, rosy faced woman entered the kitchen as if she owned the place, a sous chef only a step behind, and set up without a single order from Ansgar.

“Bullshit,” he argued, a chuckle followed. “They would have awarded you another for feeding the rest of Stockholm.” He glanced over his shoulder in Joline’s direction to ensure she was still there, and winked at her.

She took advantage of his attention to point at her mobile and indicated one of the many doors to the wrap-around balcony of his flat.

Ansgar furrowed his brow briefly but nodded, granting her his permission.

Joline wiggled her fingers in a wave and crossed to the outside door. She overheard Rose talking enough for all of them, “You rung me to impress a date, huh? I’m glad for it, Martin—“ Joline slipped out before she heard anymore. She got the impression that Ansgar and Rose were old friends, and she might have known of his marriage. Joline didn’t want to hear any more of the other woman if she could help it.

Using her one touch dialing on her mobile, Joline phoned her mother.

“Dearest daughter,” Emelie’s voice sounded resolved, “Tell me you’re not ringing me on your date. You’re not mugged again?”

Joline stepped fearlessly to the railing, taking in the best view of Stockholm she’d ever seen. There was very little noise, only the warm summer breeze. “No, not mugged again, mama. Only wanted to hear your voice.”

“Feeling sentimental?”

“That must make me a shit daughter, huh?”

“Unwise.”

Following along the railing, Joline walked to keep her feet busy. “Only worried for you.”

“You’re allowed to live your own life, I don’t—“

“How are you, mama? I haven’t been there as much as I should.”

“Joline, it’s two days. You’re dating again, good for you. I’m hanging up now.”

And the line went silent. Joline smiled down at her mobile before pocketing it again. She could’ve predicted how that conversation was going to go and her mother’s response to a spontaneous phone call.

The horizon pulled her focus and she breathed in the familiar smell of Stockholm, seawater, barbeque and petrol. It wasn’t pleasant but it was home, conjuring memories of her childhood, of chasing her brother, trying to fit in with the boys. She caught sight of the opera house in the distance, filling with pride at being there and working at one of her favorite buildings in the city center.

Joline felt him, rather than heard, before Ansgar touched her. His hands attached themselves at her hips as he lined her body with his. She stood to feel all of him behind her.

“Did you find it? Do you see the opera house?” He curled his arms around her.

She nodded first, then pointed to it. “This is a breathtaking view, Sgar! I think I can see Lidingo from here.”

He buried his lips against her neck, earning a whimper for his effort. “Am I keeping you from–?”

“No, no… I’m happy to be here.” She breathed out, crossing her arms to hold him to her. “A quick phone call to-to… my best friend.” It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth.

“Tell me about her.”

Joline paused, figuring a way to tell the truth without revealing too much. It was against her makeup, her nature, but she didn’t trust him with her emotions. Her body, absolutely, but her emotions were fragile. “I’ve known her all my life. I’d trust her with my life, and she’d take the piss out of me for it. Quick wit, sarcastic and smarter than me.” She shrugged. “And I owe her a pair of Louboutins.”

“Surely, she’d forgive a mugging.”

“Maybe if I’d done it myself,” Joline laughed at her own joke. “She’s wicked, more wicked than me.”

Ansgar gave her notable lead, choosing not to dig beyond the vague, allowing her to determine just how much to tell him. He’d played her enough with her family that afternoon, he could draw it out and patiently wait her out. He turned it around to them and their evening. “How wicked are you, Joline?”

She turned around in his arms, treading the easy path of the intimate rather than the emotional. Hooking her arms around his neck, she shoved her lips into his, his will surprisingly pliant to her. She demanded and her answered the torrid press of lips and searing tongues. She scraped her teeth along his lower lip when she pulled back and ended the kiss. “Did you friend cook your dinner to your specifications?”

“Unfortunately.”

“Pity. I’m a bit distracted by that strap of leather that I was promised.”

Ansgar groaned, lifting her up to press his face into her cleavage, his teeth gnawing at her tender flesh.

Joline only made it far worse with her next statement. “I can think of better things to put in my mouth than food. I’m under the impression that men like that men prefer that as a stress reliever.”

“SGAR! Hey!” Rose’s voice cut through the distance. Her timing hadn’t improved in the fifteen minutes since she arrived. “You eat now, arse, or the salmon will crumble like bread crumbs if you wait any longer.”

[tinalostgirl]

Harley and Kaylee | JoTina

Who: Tina Cohen-Chang and Jo Fabray ( @jofabray )

Where: Jo’s Suite

When: Tuesday night 9.8.20

What: Bingo - Anonymous Hookup + Wear a Strap-On All Day

The strap-on felt heavy around Tina as she sported it all day. She wasn't a stranger to wearing one. Before coming to Lima, she had a very healthy sex life and women often liked being fucked by a strap on. What was new to her was wearing it all day. She liked the choice of pink her and Jo chose together. There were some moments when she didn't even remember she was wearing it, mostly when she was sitting in class. But then she would stand up and star moving and it would rub against her leg. She kind of liked the way it made her feel, if only because it reminded her of what was to come after classes. There were some looks when people noticed the bulge in her tight jeans, but she didn't mind that. Instead, she grabbed her 'junk' and made an obscene face to make them go away. It was empowering almost. Once the day was done, she made her way straight over to Jo's place. She was a little tired and definitely hungry, but neither feeling was going to satisfy her like finally getting this hookup with Jo. She made her way inside the dorm and called out as she closed the door behind her, putting on the mask that would make this hook-up anonymous. "Anybody home?" She called out.

Jo couldn't deny the appeal of the roleplay card she'd received.  It was entirely too much fun to take on new personas and new scenarios with people who were familiar, and Tina was high on the small list of people that she enjoyed spending time with.  The day passed in a drone of classes and notes, and by the time she finally got home she felt like she'd been gone for a week.  But knowing that she'd be having an "unexpected" visitor, she cleaned up a little and threw on the sleep shorts and cami she'd be wearing on any other night.  When the door opened and Tina called out, she sat up on the couch with a hand on her chest.  "I think you've got the wrong room - I wasn't expecting anyone tonight."

Jo looked so cute laying there in nothing but her short shorts and tank top. It was almost impossible for her to stay in character and she broke a little, flashing Jo a bright smile before settling back into her role. She looked around. "I mean, I could be in the wrong room. But looking at you laying there all inviting tells me that none of this could possible be wrong." Tina took a step forward. "I don't have to go anywhere," she went on, rubbing the toy from the outside of her jeans. "In fact, I could make this a night for both of us to remember and no one would even have to know." She took another tentative step. "We don't even have to exchange names. Just a good time for both of us." Tina took another step, this time bringing her close enough to touch the other's leg. "What do you say?"

Tina's smile was actually a nice moment - it made Jo feel a little more grounded in the roleplay knowing that they could both take things with a little bit of fun and humor instead of completely buying in.  She pulled back a little on the couch, looking for the right combination of hesitance and want in her eyes.  When Tina stroked herself through her jeans, Jo licked her lips in a gesture that wasn't at all part of the act.  "I dunno," she put on her best Southern Belle voice.  "Daddy sent me to school to keep me away from all the people who tried to seduce me.  He'd be awful sore if I let some gorgeous stranger have her way with me."

Jo must have known that the Southern drawl in her voice was driving Tina mad, she loved that and it seemed to be more emphasized during this roleplay. Tina shook her head and took a seat on the coffee table in front of the couch. The hand on Jo's leg moved up to cup her face. "C'mon sweetheart. What Daddy doesn't know won't hurt him. I could be in and out in a matter of one night and no one will ever find out, least of all Daddy."

Jo leaned into the touch, biting her lip in the best impression she could do of a shy girl - she'd never been shy, so it was a stretch, but still.  She had to at least pretend.  "I mean...I guess if no one ever found out it'd be like it didn't happen, right?  Just y'all and I would ever remember it.  My roommate's not supposed to be home for hours..." she looked at Tina with the widest eyes she could manage.  "Y'all'll be gentle with me right?"

While Jo was struggling with the role she was playing, Tina was absolutely comfortable with playing the more outgoing one trying to convince the other to just have a night of fun with her. Tina had been there a couple of times before. Still, she was laying it on a little more thickly than she normally had to. It certainly helped move the scene along. "Oh, I'll be the gentlest you've ever had," Tina lied. She stood up and held her hand out to the other girl. "Let's take this into the bedroom, shall we?"

If they hadn't been in the middle of the scene, Jo would have admitted some quiet amusement over what they were doing.  Playing the shy flower was funny, and she knew that Tina was laying on her performance just as thick.  But she also knew that neither of them minded, and that they were both going to have some fun.  "Long as y'all promise," she drawled, accepting the hand and letting Tina lead her toward the bedroom.  She started and stopped in the process of asking a few questions, working on giving the impression of someone who wanted to know more about the stranger but didn't want to spoil the night, before finally forcing one out.  "I don't need y'all's name or anythin' but - is there somethin' I can call ya?"

There were flickers of normalcy and their usual banter woven into the roles they were playing. That was what kept the momentum going in Tina's mind. At the Jo's question, Tina thought about it for a moment. "How about Harley?" Tina loved the comic book character so used this as an opportunity to use that. "What about you, gorgeous? What should I call you?" Tina closed the door behind them and locked it before moving towards Jo and cupping her face, waiting for the answer then pressing a fierce kiss to her lips.

"Harley it is," Jo nodded.  It was easy to remember.  What stumped her for a second was the question of what she could use for a name.  Then it hit her, and she leaned closer.  "Y'all can call me Kaylee," she nodded, watching with wide eyes as Tina locked the door for them.  A moment later lips were pressed to hers and she moaned softly against them, pressing back into the kiss.

"Kaylee." Tina said it to really cement the name into her mind. "Kaylee," she said again, moving the other girl back towards the bed. She pushed her back onto the bed before leaning down and catching her plump lips in another kiss. "Kaylee is a beautiful name for a beautiful, sweet girl." Harley moved her lips to her neck, then to her shoulder, then lifted her arms up over her head so she could peel the tank top off of her, tossing it to the floor. "Goddamn, your gorgeous." She nipped at both of her nipples before pulling back and pulling her own shirt off.

The name was only ripped from a tv show, but it sounded good from Tina's mouth all the same.  Jo didn't mind at all that she'd hopefully be hearing it many more times before the night was over.  She gasped softly as she was pushed onto the bed, all part of the act.  "I...oh wow, you feel so good - I'm glad y'all like it.  Harley's a real nice one, makes ya sound gruff and dangerous-like."  Talking was going to become an issue as Tina kissed her all over, but there was no objection as her tank top was peeled from her body and tossed aside.  "Shit," she gasped at the attention to her nipples, leaning up on her elbows afterward to watch Tina's shirt disappear.  "Oh wow..."

"Gruff and dangerous. Perhaps that's exactly what I was going for," Tina cooed. Her mind was moving a mile a minute and it felt like her actions were following suit. So she took a few moments to settle down her hyperactive mind to ensure this remained enjoyable for both of them. After she regained composure, Tina jumped right back into it, grabbing and jiggling her breasts as she smirked down at Jo. Like what you see, Kaylee?" Wait till you see what I'm packing." Tina unbuckled her jeans and pulled them down just enough for her strap on to bounce out and up at attention.

There was no impatience in Jo as she waited for Tina to settle.  She'd never pressed for details, but the incident during their threesome had shown her that sometimes the other woman could get overwhelmed.  And if that was the case, then she'd get as much time as she needed.  "Y'all play the part well," she smiled.  Once Tina had started again, Jo's eyes widened as the visual of her jiggling breasts was followed up with the strap on making its first appearance.  "Holy...wow," she murmured like an innocent college girl.  "I never seen anything like that.  But I want it."

A little snort escaped at Jo's reaction. It was funny because this wasn't even her toy, it belonged to the other girl. She managed to keep from outright laughing, but the smile was still evident. "You want it huh? Well that's good cause I'm planning on giving it to you. But not before I get you nice and ready for it. So take off the rest of your clothes, hm? I'm going to get you nice and wet with my mouth first." In the meantime, Tina rid herself of her jeans, making herself as comfortable as possible for what was to come.

Jo had to hold in a giggle as Tina snorted.  Apparently she'd laid it on just a little too thick for a moment, but the slight break in character actually gave them a moment to decompress.  "Oh, I want it, Harley," she nodded eagerly.  Eyes wide with anticipation, Jo shoved the sleep shorts down her legs and kicked them aside, looking with clear want in her eyes at Tina's body.  She didn't have to fake that, Tina was gorgeous.

The next part seemed more natural, more in her wheelhouse. Once the shorts were gone, Tina was falling to her knees and spreading the other girl's legs wide open. The strap on she'd been wearing all day was starting to weigh on her, but her mouth watering was the perfect distraction from that weight. She leaned down, resting Jo's legs on either of her shoulders so she could dip down and lick her slit, moaning at the taste. "Fuck you taste good."

They'd been here before, but it'd never get old - if having a beautiful girl between her legs didn't excite her, Jo was pretty certain that would mean she was dead.  Letting her head fall back against the pillow as her legs were lifted, she gasped without any acting required when the girl's tongue met heated skin.  "Y'all do that so good, Harley," she whimpered.  "Real, real good."

There was no pretense at all when she was finally in between the other girl's legs, with her mouth on her most sensitive parts. "I've had lots of practice," she bragged. "But none of them have tasted as good as you do." Tina thought about the scene again, wanting to incorporate more of it into the moment. "Aren't you glad you let me stay the night?" Moving her tongue up to her clit, she joined her fingers, fucking Jo as her lips wrapped around her clit.

Jo wasn't going to be coherent for long, she was sure, but that wasn't a bad thing either - if she was an innocent college girl, then how would she be used to what Tina was doing?  "I bet you do," she gasped, clutching the sheets with both hands.  "So glad."  The words were coming out as whimpers.  "Holy...hell," she whined, hips rolling to meet Tina's fingers.  "Harley," she begged in a haze.  "Harley, please...."

It was so weird to hear the whimpering and begging from Jo, but all she could focus on was how hot she was. She continued what she was doing, moving her fingers faster, making her nice and wet as her lips on her clit moved her closer to orgasm. "Please what? I want you to cum at least once before I fuck you nice and hard with my cock."

"Please...more...faster...anything," Jo whined.  The logic of the roleplay was only barely holding now that they were in bed, but she was determined to play the part of the co-ed for as long as humanly possible.  There might come a point when they'd switched to the strap that her instinct to take over might kick in but she'd keep that at bay as long as possible.  "Please, Harley..."

There was no way Tina or Harley in this instance was able to deny Jo or in this case Kaylee. So she moved her fingers faster and harder, adding another one as she did so. All the while she moved her tongue to flick at her clit, determined for the other girl to cum right into her mouth.

That innate need for control didn't matter much in the moment, because Jo was going to need Tina to get her over the line so there was nothing to do but surrender.  It only took a few more moments of hard and fast fucking before she came apart, arching up into Tina's mouth as she cried out the fake name she'd used - an act of roleplaying that Jo thought she deserved some credit for.

Jo was doing an amazing job at her role, Tina on the other hand couldn't get even keep her thoughts straight. Not when Jo was cumming into her mouth like that. She tasted like peaches and she fucking loved it. "So fucking gorgeous, Jo. I mean, Kaylee." Tina shook her head again, unsure how much longer she could put on this pretense. So she would just get right to the next part. So Tina stood up and lined up her cock with the other girl's drenched pussy. "Think you're ready now?" She asked.

Jo looked up through lidded eyes and breathed hard as she tried to come down from the high that Tina had taken her to.  "So good, Harley," she breathed, smiling.  The little lapse didn't hurt the scene, and the roleplay wasn't likely to survive the next part in any case.  "Oh yes," she nodded frantically, giving what was probably not her most subtle look - her hair was mussed and she looked like she'd already been thoroughly fucked.  "I'm so ready, Harley, please let me feel it.  Y'all are going to be so good to me."

Tina's legs were starting to burn and she planned on going on for as long as she possibly could. So she pushed Jo forward on the bed so she could crawl up onto the edge. From this new position, she could relax a little bit, bending down to line herself up with her opening once again. As she slowly pushed her cock inside the other girl, she pressed a kiss to the corner of her lips. Then another to her lips full force as she started rocking her hips. "How's that, gorgeous?"

Jo wriggled back on the bed as she was directed, wanting to make sure that the position was going to be as comfortable as possible for the remainder of the scene.  This was meant to be a fun one, after all, and having to stop for cramps in the middle would be no fun at all.  "Fuck," she cried as the toy was pushed into her, although it did put a damper on Kaylee's innocent routine.  The kiss smothered a moan, and she felt incredible being filled up.  "So good, Harley.  So good."  She moved to meet Tina's hips, trying to match her pace and take her as deeply as she could.

Tina sat up briefly, so that she could reposition them again, this time pulling a pillow from the top of the bed and sliding it under Jo's hips and moving her legs to drape over Tina's legs. This way she could penetrate deeper than before, moving the toy in long slow strokes. "And that's even better isn't it?" She asked with a cocky grin. "Teasing you with slow strokes as I push deep into you."

Jo's eyes had closed briefly, but when Tina sat up she cracked them open a little to see what was up.  The pillow was a good idea, leaving her in position to take the toy deeper without it being a huge effort on both of their parts.  The slow strokes made her whine, though, and she reached out for Tina desperately.  "So amazing, Harley," she promised, nodding a few times before she let her head fall back.  "I need...I need..." she managed, not even sure what she would have said.  Her Kaylee persona was definitely breaking down now.

It was like music to her ears. The sounds Jo were making were addictive and she needed more. So she kept going at that agonizingly  slow pace even if her own pussy ached and throbbed and her thighs burned. She held on for as long as she possibly could, pushing through the burn. Sweat collected on her brow as she pressed her head against Jo's. Harley was long gone as Tina started into the other woman's eyes. Jo's, not Kaylee's. "What do you need?"

The roleplay had collapsed, and she was okay with that.  They'd played the scene out well, and now it was time to be themselves until they both went home satisfied.  "I need to ride ya, darlin'.  That'll get me there.  And then I'm gonna take such good care of ya.  You just get me over the edge one more time first."

Tina just nodded, but closed in for a quick kiss before finally pulling back and away from the other girl. She pressed another kiss to her legs then her stomach before moving to a new part of the bed ad laying back. The strap-on glistened in the low light of the room and she absolutely loved that as she relaxed back onto the bad. She then reached for Jo, beckoning her to come closer. "Climb on top."

Jo was definitely not turning down the kiss.  She leaned into it instead, drinking it in and hoping that Tina was having just as good a time as she was.  The secondary kisses as Tina pulled away felt amazing, and seeing herself on the toy was one of the highlights of the night.  "Your wish, darlin', my command."  Her drawl was still there, but nothing like the exaggerated version she'd been putting on, and Jo lowered herself onto the dildo with a soft moan of pleasure.  "So fucking good, Tina.  You ready?"

Tina was very close to hyperventilating at the very sight of Jo sinking down onto the toy like that. She held one hand onto her hip and the other reached up to grab her breast and flick her thumb across her taut nipple. The weight of her body felt like heaven and she was lost in it all, unsure on which aspect to focus on. "Holy fuck. I'm more than ready. Fuck this cock. Ride me, gorgeous."

It made her more than a little proud that even with the roleplay element of things finished, Tina was just as enamoured with her as she'd been with Kaylee.  The bold move of reaching up and thumbing her nipple made Jo moan in surprise, and she didn't need any further prompting once Tina had given her the green light.  Putting on a show for the girl, Jo began a slow ride of the cock - rising up as far as she could without taking it out before slamming back down onto it hard.  Pupils wide, sweat turning her blonde hair dark, Jo repeated the motion - over and over.

Jo really didn't need to put on anymore of a show than she already did. She looked perfect just sitting on top of her. But when she started moving, there was no way Tina could take her eyes off of her. Not the mention the sounds she was making... Tina could feel anything through the toy, but she still met every thrust with one of her own. The hand on her hip moved to settle on her clit, circling on her bundle of nerves to help her reach her climax. She needed to see that look on her face again.

It was a boost to Jo's ego, for sure, the way that Tina watched her.  With one hand she pushed her hair back out of her face, shooting the girl a wink and a smile.  As she'd predicted, though, being on top was going to get her where she needed to go really quickly.  "Cum with me," she implored Tina.  "I'm so fucking close.  Cum with me, alright?"  Jo could hold on until Tina got there, but it was going to be a close race.

Eventually, her thrusts forward really just became her humping her side of the toy. She was sure the vision of Jo itself was could make her cum, but the added stimulation was certain to make it come to her faster. Especially when Jo was asking her to lose control with her. So she turned her body ever so slightly so she could get a better angle on the harness. "Oh fuck yes okay. You gonna cum?" She asked, her face contorted with pleasure. "Cause I'm gonna fucking cum!"

The smooth motions she'd been making slowly devolved into stuttering thrusts, and when Tina confirmed that she was ready to go Jo nodded a shaky confirmation.  This was going to be a fucking great orgasm, and the build was so strong that it felt like her blood was singing in her veins.  "Here we go," she cried.  "Here we go, let's go..." a few thrusts later and the climax she'd been anticipating rolled her like she'd stepped into a tidal wave.  There was no time, no direction, nothing but the pleasure washing over her as she screamed Tina's name - Tina's, this time, and definitely not Harley's.  It lasted an eternity, and when she finally came down she felt like they'd run a marathon together.  "Fuck...me..." Jo gasped.  "Holy shit."

Tina wanted to scream, but her mouth opened up with no sound. Instead, her body shook and shuddered as her body rocked her through her orgasm. She went blind for a second then saw stars when she finally blinked. It really did seem to go on forever, her blood pumping and her ears ringing. Until they were just a heap of limbs together on the bed. "Holy shit is right." Their bodies were covered in sweat and it was hotter than hell, but Tina couldn't have been closer to Jo. "That was amazing, Jo." Tina pressed a kiss to the other girl's shoulder as she pushed the hair out of her face.

The tangled mess of their bodies would have to get sorted out at some point, but Jo was in no hurry.  They could lie there in post orgasmic bliss for just as long as they wanted, because she was not going to get up until she absolutely had to.  "Yeah, it was," she breathed.  "You were amazin', Tina.  Or Harley," Jo teased gently.  "That was a great scene - thank you for helpin' me out, and I think maybe y'all need to wear that all the time.  Looks damn good on ya."

"Thank me? Thank you!" Tina exclaimed. She looked down at the toy and moved to take it off, tossing it to the side and sighing with relief once the weight of it was gone. Her thighs were chafed a little but it was worth it all. "I would love to use it on you again and again." She moved in closer, wanting to feel Jo flush against her. "I'm thinking when we can finally walk again, we can order some Chinese and set up Netflix in the bathroom and watch and eat in the tub?"

"You're welcome, darlin' - it was literally my pleasure."  She pulled back just a little, allowing Tina easier access to the harness so that she could take the heavy toy off for a while.  "We'll keep an eye out for some chances, how's that?"  Jo wrapped her arms around Tina, pulling her close and kissing the top of her head.  "That sounds like a hell of a plan.  I could use a feast right now, I think I burned off the last three days of food I've eaten."

"Perfect," Tina murmured simply before letting her eyes rest for a while.

[d00dt00nz]

Obligatory promo stuff at the top because it sucks and I hate it and let’s get it out of the way! follow me on twitter where I’m active, check me out on spotify for music, or like my facebook for sparse updates on music stuff. Thank you. The Cover art is by Ellie Tison

Okay!! Last song!!

Well, I say last song, but it's more like “last song”. There is one more song that I used as an epilogue, but I'm not going to get into that, and honestly if you've listened to 13 tracks without being sold (why would you do that?) one more track isn't going to sell you on it.

And would you look at that, the last song is a reprise of the first song. Wow, it's like Sgt Pepper... that's so cool. Now it makes sense why I didn't bother talking about that first song right? Not planned btw.

This song was one of the first songs I wrote for this album. I said this for a few. Truthfully I did four or so around the same time and they were all great. I had a few more tracks in the oven as well. Everything was going great. I was like “wow this album's gonna be done in no time!” Anyway that was like three or four years ago. I guess that's how these things tend to go.

This is back when I was trying to make a bit more of a straight ahead rock/indie rock sounding album. I'm pretty sure I wrote this song on guitar, lyrics and all, which is honestly (and sadly) pretty rare for me these days. I had this idea for repeated backing vocals and a call/response sort of song structure. I'm pretty sure this more energetic version of the song came first. I originally wanted a sort of Lou Reed feel to it, but once I wrote that groovy dancy bass riff it immediately lost that feel. Once I started recording electric guitars I accidentally did a grungy “brrroww” at the end of the phrase and really liked it. I replicated it throughout the track and in turn lost even more of that Lou Reed feel.

In my original recording process I had a damaged patchcord. I didn't realize it at first because I was trying out some new equipment. I just thought it was really quiet. That being the case, I had to turn it up way loud to get a good volume and that's actually where some of the guitar tone you can hear (mainly in the one playing a melody-line during the chorus) comes from. I actually really liked it, I thought it sounded like Pavement. Actually, my Tiff did too and that's probably the nicest thing she's ever said about any of my music.

At some point I added more guitar tracks to the track to make it sound fuller, and also replace some of the ones recorded with a broken patchcord. I honestly kinda liked the original tracks, which still had a little bit of that 70s glam grittiness to them, but I'm far too neurotic about this stuff to really sit with that. In the end it sounded less 70s and more mid 90s. It had a sound that I've actually been trying to get for a while, though not on this track – the sort of fuzzy swirling guitars with a groovy beat and bassline to it. Tiff described it as being “Like those music videos where everything is blue and everyone's got really baggy pants”, which, again, big compliment. I don't know if that one was actually a compliment, but I'll take what I can get.

The song had its genesis at that same party I mentioned last time. There's nothing specific really. We had my album on and it's got a pretty fun cool first half. The people there were enjoying it, but then it gets to the second half and it's a little bit more mopey. It's also completely sexless and uncool throughout. That being the case, one of the guys there was like

“Sorry Con-dog, the vibes are just not working with this right now,”

and I was like,

“Oh don't worry about it, I understand dude,”

And then he was like, “Right on man. I’m getting fucked vibes from those guys over there. Here, hit this for me.”

And then I did some coke off a Pulp Fiction VHS tape.

I thought to myself, “man it'd be nice to have music that you could put on at a party”. Which basically was the whole idea behind this album, conscious or not. I don't really know if it succeeded, but there's definitely a certain kind of party where this would play, and honestly I don't think I'd mind being at it.

The album was originally going to be more centered around the idea of the character described in this track. I mean, obviously he's me, but I'm trying to detach myself and make things a little more universal. I wanted to explore all the different traits and behaviors that this one person has. Some of them being mine, and some of them being not. Honestly, it didn't really pull through to the end. There's a little bit of that in here, but it's mostly just songs. I'm okay with that. They have some thematic cohesion. It's got this song bookending the album. Wow, it's like Sgt. Pepper.....

The ending is a little bit embarrassing for me because I do a bit of a scream voice, which, honestly I don't think there's anything actively wrong with it, I just cringe when I hear myself doing it because it's like “ah oh god I'm doing that”. I don't know. There's also the fact that, well, one of the things I yell is the word “Wasteman”, which is a little bit of an outdated slang right now, but when I actually recorded the song it wasn't. Whatever, this is an insanely white album from a white kid. I figure a lot of people who enjoy this type of music haven't actually heard that word. I wouldn't have, but I hang out with Tiff's cool friends sometimes. Honestly I think it's a cool term. I think the most embarrassing part though is I copy-pasted it so it repeats twice because I felt like I wanted more intensity. I don't think it's super noticeable, but the idea makes it a little disingenuous. During the outro I wanted to add a little more of that “90s blue and baggy” feel, so I plugged in a keyboard and freaked out on the organ setting. I think it really adds a lot.

The slower version of the song was written afterwards and I actually cheat because it uses some of the same midi tracks. I was super torn between the more exciting sound that I had and my original “vision” for the song, which was a bit more downtempo Lou-Reed inspired. I figured, why not do both?

There's not a whole lot to cover here that I haven't already covered. Mostly the backing vocals, but only because I think I did a worse job with them than the other version. There's nothing outwardly wrong with them per-se, but I think the blend is not good and that's gonna immediately stick out to some people. The middle section just kinda came about because the other version doesn't really have a proper chorus. It just has some guitar noodling. I played around with the chord progression of the middle chorus in the fast version and made something that was a bit more structured, then adapted a melody around it. Harmonies grew out of the melody. I felt like something was missing, so I took that same call and response idea from earlier and applied it here too. I really liked the interplay between the two vocal lines. The “Purify me” line was originally supposed to come up again and again throughout the album. One of the tracks that ALMOST made it would have been the song it was from, and then there would be callbacks to the melody throughout the album. It was kind of like a motif. That was unfortunately completely scrapped and this is the last trace of it. Maybe I'll work the idea into something I do in the future.

I like this song. I realized way too late that it massively rips off The Velvet Underground's Sweet Jane. I guess that “Lou Reed inspired” idea was a little bit too literal. Fortunately I would say the middle section saves it from being too much of a copy. I think it's a good way to start and finish the album. I also like the thematic notions of this album starting with the same track it ends on. Like these things work in cycles and you're never truly free of your own quicksand. Like an Ouroboros eating its own tail, like Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. When one cycle ends, a new begins. The same, but slightly different – until it is completely undermined by the epilogue track that says “no this is actually the end”.

Hey congrats on making it through all of these entries! You may have only read this one, or even skipped to the end. If you did that, disregard that previous sentence and go back to read them. This album was the culmination of a lot of work and thought. 13 of these writeups was nothing compared to probably hundreds of hours spent working on this album, and probably thousands of hours thinking about it. I'm aware few people are reading these writeups, but it's honestly mostly my own indulgence. I gotta decompress this stuff and be free of this album. I can finally get rid of all this useless crap in my brain. I'll probably enjoy being able to go back and read this stuff once I've forgotten most of this, and once I've become a more mature person. I'll probably go “wow this shit is cringe. I can't believe he posted like 22 pages of cringe” but that's okay. The album's okay. I made for certain it was not, in fact, cringe before releasing it. And honestly I enjoyed writing these.

A part of me wants to get back to the freakish pace I had in like 2011 where this blog was nonstop content. I don't think it'd work so well in 2020 Tumblr because who even uses this site anymore? I think it's a little sad because it's pretty much the death of long form posting. Twitter is great because people pay attention to you, but sometimes I just want to write like two thousand words and have some psycho actually read them and respond to it. I think we've lost that on the internet. Sometimes I think of making youtube videos, but I'm no good in front of a camera. Sometimes I wonder, couldn't I just read something like this TO the camera? The answer is no, I can't. That'd be boring. I'm completely convinced nobody would watch that. I sometimes think that if I could add some editing and some visual component though, it'd work out. Some sort of... video essay. Some kind of... man with facial hair and left leaning politics who enjoys media and talks about both... Wow I wonder if that niche has been filled at all?

[awesomenightfall]

[the wicked & the divine]

part of the "dragon age protags are terrible adults" modern!AU [Cassandra/Varric (eventual), humor, modern!AU, no tw, mild language, super unfinished] -- Seekers/Templars are pretty much police in this world and someone has it out for Cassandra (surprise, surprise). Varric gets a very unwelcome visit from Leliana (who wants to cash in a favor, natch) and an injured Cassandra.

---

In retrospect, the whole premise was so cliche that, as a writer who had built an entire career on delivering the unexpected, Varric almost laughed himself sick at the irony.

Cliche #1: It was, of course, a dark and stormy night. The place was Kirkwall-- The Hanged Man, to be more exact. The pub was one of Varric’s more profitable business ventures. For a crime ridden, dirty, rundown town, there had been a surprisingly lack of places for local degenerates to get wasted before Varric stepped in.

He was a very hands off owner that preferred to let management run the show. Still, Varric liked to frequent the bar to see his friends, play cards, but mostly to make sure Hawke wasn’t pissing away all of the profit by doling out free drinks to men and women she wanted to sleep with.

He trusted Hawke with his life, but with his wallet? Not so much.

The bar had closed for the night and Varric was reconciling the books. It was terribly monotonous but it was a nice break from his usually hectic life filled with a ridiculous amount of dramatic extraverts that demanded pretty much all of his attention. He also tended to get his best ideas at The Hanged Man late at night when he was decompressing from the day.

Then again, he had written his tawdry, bodice ripper Swords & Shields at this very barstool, so he had to concede that maybe not all of his ideas were very good.

Cliche # 2: The quiet was interrupted by a sharp, somewhat mysterious knock at the door. There were only two types of people who came by this late at night -- robbers or booty calls. Robbers didn’t usually knock and Varric had indulged in all of zero booty in Maker knows how long, so he was intrigued. And maybe a little afraid.

Please don’t be demons or bill collectors or ex-girlfriends, for the love of all that is good and holy, please don’t be a possessed ex-girlfriend looking to cash in on a debt...

It felt very dramatic, very film noir-esque, and Varric could almost hear the saxophone music queuing up in the background as his internal monologue began.

“‘Okay Tethras,’” Varric narrated, “‘I said to myself, ‘“You’re a tough guy. You’ve been shot at, possessed, faced down the Carta, forced to go to Bertrand’s social gatherings.” Now let’s see you do something really tough—like answering the door.’”

With a deep sigh and ignoring that niggling little thing called self preservation that was screeching at him not to do it, Varric walked over to the door. His hand hovered over the knob. “Any chance you’re selling cookies for charity and not here to mug me and/or rope me into some hairbrained scheme?”

“Varric,” a familiar, accented voice replied. “It’s Leliana. Open up.”

Crap. “So no cookies, I’m guessing,” Varric said as he unlocked the door against his better judgment. “Nightingale, if you wanted to have a private tête-à-tête, did you really need to wait until the asscrack of --?”

In Leliana’s arms was one Cassandra Pentaghast, currently white as a ghost, hunched over, and bleeding out from her skull.

Plot twist.

“What the hell happened?” Varric ushered them inside, wincing at the amount of blood dripping on the dingy bar floor. He had very little lover for the Seeker (and the feeling was undeniably mutual, for so many reasons, but mostly because he prided himself on being a fabulous liar and her job was to literally seek out the truth), but that didn’t mean he wanted her to die inside of his bar.

Then again, it might do something to add to the intrigue of The Hanged Man…

No, Varric decided, he didn’t need any more death on his hands. He might have had a little bit of a hate-on (“It’s like a hard on,” Isabela had said wisely, “but for someone you want to hate-bang right through the floor”) for Cassandra since the time she took him in for a grueling six hour interrogation concerning Hawke’s whereabouts, but he wasn’t a monster.

Besides, Cassandra would just haunt him from beyond the grave and did he really want to risk having to spend eternity listening to her make that little disgusted noise she always made when he spoke?

“Ugh,” Cassandra grunted when her eyes focused on Varric. “It’s you.”

And there it was. Cassandra was nothing if not dependable and predictable.

Leliana hefted Cassandra up on the chair; no easy task, considering how tall (unnecessarily so, in Varric’s completely unbiased opinion-- what does a woman need with that much leg?) and well muscled the Seeker was. Cassandra groaned, hazily blinking blood out of her eyes. She looked… well, she looked like complete and utter shit, Varric thought, and that was being charitable.

“Assassins,” Leliana confirmed. “We’re looking into it.”

“And no doubt you’ll find them.”

“By hook or by crook,” Leliana said simply and Varric shuddered. Leliana was sweet and pretty and it was easy to forget that she was a powerful spymaster with a whole network of followers at her disposal. But when she got that look, well… Varric didn’t envy the person who had been stupid enough to go after one of Leliana’s people.

Varric grabbed his first aid kit -- always fully stocked, thanks to Hawke’s penchant for getting into fights -- and set it down on a wooden table. “So. What’d the Seeker do to get the attention of assassins?”

“I imagine it’s some kind of personal grudge.” Leliana pulled on some latex gloves and got to work on the gash on Cassandra’s forehead.

“Wow,” Varric said, voice chalk full of exaggerated surprise, “imagine that. Someone doesn’t like the Seeker? Nightingale, call the presses. The world needs to know.”

Cassandra glared at him and hissed as Leliana pressed on the wound above her eyebrow. “Such a comedian, dwarf,” she drawled, voice slightly slurred from what Varric imagined was excruciating pain. He winced in sympathy and grabbed some ice from behind the bar, wrapping it in a towel and leaving it as a peace offering. Cassandra looked surprised and suspicious, not making a move for it just yet.

“Surprised you let them get a hit in,” Varric said, leaning back in his chair dangerously. “I thought you slept with your sword under your pillow.”

He might have imagined it, but for a moment it looked like Cassandra actually blushed. Must have been a trick of the light. “I-- I was indisposed.”

“Indisposed,” Varric echoed.

“Shut up. It was nothing.”

His thoughts raced. Indisposed? The Seeker? What did that even mean? Varric imagined -- not that he thought about her that often, because that would be weird -- that she spent 24/7 in her stiff, buttoned up uniform, sword at her side, vigilant and composed as she chased down criminals and ne'er-do-wells.

She was horribly embarrassed about it, whatever it was, and that only further fueled Varric’s curiosity.

“Well now I have to know. ‘Indisposed.’ How indisposed are we talking about here? Where does it rank on a scale from 1 to Hawke, Zevran, and a team of double jointed Antivan contortionists?”

Varric was rewarded with Cassandra’s patented disgusted noise and it was music to his ears. And that’s one win for the dwarf.

Leliana tried to hide a grin and failed miserably. “She was in the shower,” she loudly whispered.

Varric nearly tipped back in his chair but caught himself before he fell. “They attacked you in the shower?”

He had so many questions like:

Did she fight naked?

Did she bring the sword into the shower?

Wait, if she was in the shower then that meant that she wasn’t wearing --

For fuck’s sake, don’t. Don’t even go there.

“Ugh,” Cassandra groaned. “Be quiet, Leliana. And don’t you even think about telling anyone about this.” She shoved a finger into Varric’s chest, each word punctuated with a strong poke. “Not. One. Word.”

“Perish the thought, Seeker,” Varric said, moving out of reach before she gouged his heart out. “Would I ever tell anyone about you fighting assassins au naturel?”

“Yes,” Cassanda and Leliana said in unison.

He waved his hand. “Your secret’s safe with me.” Cassandra snorted again. “So, you were in the shower and assassins attacked. What happened next? Did you defend yourself with a loofah? Rubber ducky? Leave no detail out. Hard in Hightown has been missing bathroom shenanigans and honestly, this is just the inspiration I need.”

“Varric.”

“What? I said I wouldn’t tell anyone, I never said I wouldn’t write about it.”

“Varric!”

Andraste’s blessed ass, was it fun to mess with her.

Leliana cleared her throat politely. “Varric, you may be wondering why we’re here.”

“I, too, would like to know why we are here, Leliana.” Cassandra’s voice was as cold as the ice starting to melt on the table.

And here it comes, Varric thought. Should he just resign himself to whatever favor Leliana was going to cash in? Beg for mercy? Skip town for a bit so he could finally get some writing done? “You want me to find the attackers?”

“Well, since Cassandra’s apartment is currently being searched and it’s not quite safe for her to return, I thought, since you have a few extra rooms upstairs, you could let her stay here.”

“What.” Cassandra’s fury was palpable and it sent a shiver down Varric’s spine. He wondered who would win in a fight between Cassandra and Leliana. He wondered if the staff would be able to get all the blood out of the carpet. Mostly, he wondered why he always got caught up in all of this shit.

Leliana looked at Cassandra evenly. “There is a hole in your roof, Cassandra. How are you supposed to stay there?”

“I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself--”

“You have a concussion and possibly a broken arm, along with a few ribs,” Leliana said. “Not to mention there is a group of people who want you dead. Until we isolate the threat, you shouldn’t be there, Cassandra. You know that.”

“Ugh. Do not baby me, Leliana, I am a grown woman who--”

The bickering continued in the background as Varric thought deeply on the newest crisis foisted upon him.

Varric wasn’t angry, per se, but he wasn’t jazzed at the thought of having Cassandra as a temporary roommate, either. This bar was his oasis, his anchor in the sea of chaos known as his life. Now he was supposed to let Cassandra “I’m going to tie you up and not in the fun way” Pentaghast stay there?

But then again, if her life really was in danger… and while they weren’t best friends, they were still acquaintances that had worked together… and she wasn’t completely awful when she wasn’t preaching or yelling or shoving him into walls...

… shit, he hated having a conscience.

“It’s fine,” Varric conceded. “Stay. You’ll be safe here.”

Cassandra opened her mouth to retort, but Varric got there first. “Hope you’re not a light sleeper.” He tapped his broken nose. “Deviated septum. Possible sleep apnea. So much snoring.”

“Ugh.”

Two wins for the dwarf.

[bicon-korra]

little do you know (that I love you so)

[Allurance, Season 8, Teen rating (first time), fluff, 1,200 words]

Summary: Allurance pillow talk. Allura asks when Lance knew she was The One.

“When did you know?” Allura asks, looking up from Lance’s bare chest to his face.

They spent their first night together after three weeks dating on the Atlas. Seeing Lance every day kept Allura sane as she worked tirelessly to track Honerva’s whereabouts. They settled into a routine that fit both of their work schedules. In the mornings, Lance would walk her from her room to the med bay, giving her a quick kiss before leaving for training. The next time they saw each other was at dinner, where they both decompressed. They’d talk about the boring parts of their day first since Allura’s meetings in the med bay area were too painful to discuss over yesterday’s stew. Lance cracked jokes that made Allura nearly spit out her drink, completely erasing whatever shitty feelings clouded her mind from earlier, and each day she looked forward to seeing him more and more.

After dinner, they’d walk around the Atlas together and talk about pretty much anything. Lance came up with the idea to share their bucket list of things they’d like to do on earth.

His ideas were simple: buy a new guitar, learn how to snowboard, surf on Playa Azul.

Allura’s were also simple: visit an art museum, play in the snow, learn how to ride a bike.

Eventually, their plans became shared ones: hike the Grand Canyon, dogsit, travel to Europe. The world was theirs, and Lance gave her a home on earth and in space to look forward to.

One night Lance takes her to the astronomy room where they could see out into space. Allura wears the blush pink dress that she wore on their first date. Lance holds her hand as they gaze at the galaxies and constellations that they could practically name in their sleep.

After, Lance leads her to his bedroom. They kiss, slowly then fervently, and he undresses her, basking in her beauty. They stare at each other in awkward silence until Allura moves forward to kiss him again and again, bursting with love for him. They take things slow because none of them have done this before. They fumble for a bit, occasionally hurting and soothing each other in the process, but once they find their rhythm, Allura lets Lance take the lead. She’ll follow him anywhere, this boy who stutters breathy words of praise and affection at the nape of her neck. The constellations from earlier burn in her vision as she cries out his name, grasping hard at his shining, sinewy back.

Now, they’re lying in his bed, Allura sleeping completely naked for the first time. She’s so glad she’s not alone, that her favorite person is breathing steadily next to her.

“When did you know?” she asks again, watching as he lazily blinks to return her gaze.

“Know what?” he says, eyes lit with curiosity as he pushes a strand of hair behind her ear.

“That you loved me?”

He thinks for a moment, pursing his lips until he finds a satisfying answer.

“Probably that time you bathed the mice. While I was at the space mall.”

“What?” she says in surprise, propping her head up on one elbow. “Why then?”

“Well,” he smiles, “I know you were really stressed out about Zarkon tracking us and not having enough fuel for the castle. I hoped you could join us but knew you had more important things to do. I actually thought a lot about you that day, even browsed the women’s jewelry section. Though I figured you were just joking about wanting jewelry.”

Allura raises her eyebrow, her expression stern. “I never joke about sparkly things.”

“I know that now,” he teases, and she taps his nose affectionately. “I thought that when we returned, you’d be at the controls planning the route for our next wormhole jump—you know, things that I normally see you do. Then we came back, and I saw your hair, and wow, it was so freaking cute.”

Allura groans in embarrassment. “Ah yes, the mice gave me a new hairdo. So that’s what won you over?”

“Nah, I was probably far gone long before then…”

Allura’s heart starts to beat faster. She thinks back to what “before then” was. She remembers Lance lingering after breakfast every morning to ask her what their agenda for the day would look like. He often walked to the castle ship bridge with her as she listed their duties: in-house or simulation training, ship maintenance, or a visit to a nearby planet. He always spoke in a shy and polite voice, completely unlike the bravado he put on when the others were around.

“And then?” she asks curiously.

“So I saw you with your new hairdo, and you looked so damn cute and happy, it made me insanely happy. And—not sure if you remember—I asked what you had been up to that day, expecting some brief report on when we’ll be taking off and where to.”

Allura nods, trying to conjure up the memory.

“You said simply, ‘I gave the mice a bath today.’”

Allura waits for him to finish, but he doesn’t say anything else. “Is that it?” she laughs.

“Yeah. You looked so accomplished doing that small task. I always wondered what you did on your downtime. Like, I couldn’t picture you playing video games or anything. So that gave me a sense of the real you, I guess. Not this person I always imagined in my head who always works herself to the bone and never takes time to relax. Even then you were still helping out the little guys. I just found that so charming, and I wished so badly that I stayed with you instead. To get to know you better.”

Allura smiles and reaches for his hand fiddling with a long strand of her hair. “Now you have me,” she says as she kisses his hand.

“Now I have you,” he echoes in an awed voice.

“You know,” Allura says, “I wish I had gone with you too. It sounded fun. And I thought you looked really cute when you brought Kaltenecker home. You were smiling so big. I had no idea what exactly Kaltenecker was, but you were excited about it, so I just went along with it.”

Lance smiles deviously. “You thought I was cute.”

“Yes, I did,” she says, giving his hand a small peck. “I do. There’s just one part I’m missing. All those times after breakfast, when we’d walk to the bridge together...was that you trying to get to know me better? So we could be friends?”

“Yeah, pretty much,” Lance mumbles shyly. “Did it work?”

Allura retraces her morning walk to the castle bridge after breakfast. She used to cut through the pod bay, but then began taking the longer route once Lance started joining her. She liked hearing him talk. He had a lot to say, but he was also a really good listener. Patient. Kind. Funny, often at his own expense. She’d been paying more attention to him than he ever even knew, she realizes.

She snuggles up to his chest, sighing happily as he wraps her in his arms. “It worked.”

[rhetoricalrogue]

Some Surprise

My contribution to OC Kiss Week’s collaboration with @out-of-the-embers, featuring her lovely Lily and my hot mess of a boy Rolfe in a modern AU.

Look at the artwork she did!  It’s amazing!  It was so much fun working with you!

There were definitely worse ways to spend a Friday night than to hang out with friends at the local tavern type bar and grill.  Lily leaned against the bar and shouted out her friends’ orders over the din of the people gathered and the sound of the band on the stage at the back of the room.  They were a local band of mostly college kids that had played at the place before, but Lily didn’t recognize the guitarist. She figured he was new or at least standing in for the usual guy for the night.  He wasn’t too bad; there were a few moments where she could tell that they hadn’t really practiced together, but he kept up with the band enough that unless you were really nitpicking and listening, you didn’t notice.

He wasn’t too bad on the eyes either: she guessed he must have been around his mid-twenties, which was a smidge older than his fellow bandmates. His dark hair hung loose and around the collar of his snugly fitting shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows.  He had a nice, rich sounding voice that complimented the lead singer’s vocals without hogging all the limelight and seemed beyond happy to be on stage and playing.  They’d been there a few hours already and Lily could tell that whatever weight he had brought with him at the beginning of the night was slowly dropping off his shoulders.

Not that she was watching closely enough to notice.  Too hard.  Shit.  He was cute, but in that way that told her that he knew how attractive he was, and honestly, she was happy watching from the sidelines instead of going up for a closer look.  She didn’t want to ruin the nice little fantasy that he was a good guy who liked dogs and holding hands for the possible harsh reality of a self-centered jerk in love with himself.

By the time the bartender slid a tray of drinks to her, the band was wrapping up a set and going on a mid-evening break.  Weaving her way through the crowd as best as she could, she managed to get back to the table without spilling anything.

“And what about you?”  Lily blinked at her cousin’s question.

“What about me?”

Raphael raised the empty glass she’d left at the table, the remnants of ice sliding around at the bottom.  “You didn’t get a refill for yourself.  I know you; once those nachos we ordered come in, you’re going to be reaching for a drink that’s not there.”  He started to get up to go for her, but she shook her head.

“I’m already up, I’ll get rid of this tray while I’m at it.”  The trip back to the bar was a lot easier now that she wasn’t worried about spilling anything, and the crowd around the bartender had thinned out enough that she didn’t have to jockey for a spot.

“Hi.”

Lily almost didn’t turn at the greeting, thinking that it was directed towards someone else, but then she felt a gentle tap at her shoulder.  Setting the tray down at the end of the bar, she looked to her left.

And there he was, the unknown guitarist with the pretty hair.  “Hello.”

He smiled at her and leaned an elbow against the bar. “How’s your evening going?”

She shrugged. “It’s going.” She glanced at the stage where some of the other band members were taking a break. “The music’s good.”

“Yeah, they’re a nice band. I was lucky that I found someone playing close by that needed a backup guitarist.” His smile widened. “I’m Rolfe.”

“Lily.”

“I could probably throw out a line about you being prettier than the flower you’re named after, but I bet you’ve already heard them all.”

Lily arched her eyebrow. “You have no idea.”

“Well, then it’s good for me that I don’t use cheesy pickup lines.” He tilted his head to the side and laughed. “Too often.”

She blushed and cleared her throat, trying to remember what they’d been talking about before she got distracted by the dimple that had appeared when he smiled. “You’re a backup member? I thought you were with the band.”

“These guys?  Nah, I’m not with them, they were just nice enough to let me play with them for a night.  I’ve known them all of…” Rolfe looked at his watch. “A couple of hours.”

“Oh? So what do you do when you aren’t playing with complete strangers?”

He winked and leaned close.  “Super secret spy things for the Chantry. I slipped free of my handlers for the evening.”

“Oh, sure. Okay.”

His eyes widened and he put a hand to his chest. “No, seriously. I’m a dangerous assassin, back from a semi-successful mission.”

She decided to play along.  “Semi-successful?  What happened, you miss your target?”

Rolfe shrugged.  “No, the target was eliminated, but I took a bit of a tumble escaping.  I had to run across rooftops avoiding the guards with nasty aim and some of the tiles were loose.”  He lifted his knee and Lily could see neatly wrapped bandages beneath the hole in his jeans.  “It wasn’t my most graceful moment.”

She snorted, still not believing his story. “And what? After a mission debriefing, you decided to head over to a bar and find a band that needed a guitarist?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”  He took a sip of his beer.  “I’m hitting burnout and needed some decompression.  Probably should have told my superiors where I went, but I’m pretty damn sure Ser Alexander knows exactly where I’m at.  That old warhorse has an uncanny talent at finding his wayward minions when they decide to go AWOL post-mission.” Rolfe leaned heavier against the bar and Lily saw that a line had appeared between his brows.  Maybe he was full of shit about some of his story, but it was obvious that there was some truth to what was stressing him out.

“Well, I’m glad that you decided to run away here.  It’s been a nice night listening to you play.”

And just like that, the heaviness seemed to fall off his shoulders as quickly as it had settled over him.  “I’m glad I decided to run away here too.  It isn’t often that I get to talk to a pretty lady.”

Lily felt her ears redden at the compliment.  “Somehow I seriously doubt that.”

“It’s true!  Hey, can I buy you a drink? I know you’re with a group of people, but…”

“Oh, I’m not drinking…”

“Soda?  I figured that you’re the DD for the evening.”

She tilted her head.  “How did you know?”

Rolfe grinned and tapped the side of his nose.  “Chantry spy, remember?  Being observant is a job requirement.”  He glanced over his shoulder and Lily saw that the drummer was making none-too-subtle “wrap it up” motions with his drumsticks.  “Listen, I’ve got to get back on stage, but it was great talking with you.”  Rolfe pulled out a pen from his back pocket and reached behind Lily to grab a cardboard coaster off the bar.  She watched as he scribbled his name and phone number on it before sliding it towards her.  “If you ever feel like talking some more, no pressure.  Texting is often better though, especially for late night conversations.”

She arched eyebrow.  “So you don’t disturb the other super secret assassins at work?”

Rolfe winked.  “Now you’re getting it!  Gerard is especially grumpy when people keep him while he’s trying to sleep.  Had to dodge a knife he threw at me once and he’s threatened to just shoot me the next time I wake him up without reason.”

Lily took the coaster and put it in her jacket pocket.  There was more than likely zero chance that he would ever text her back if she made a first move, and seeing that he wasn’t from around the area, she doubted that she’d ever see him again.  It was a shame, because while he was just a little bit in love with himself, he hit her as a genuinely nice guy who just wanted to have fun.

She glanced back at the table.  Raphael was watching closely with a grin on his face, and she knew that she was going to get teased no matter what once she got back.  Biting her lip, she reached out and tugged on Rolfe’s arm as he was leaving to get his attention.

“Hey, thanks.”  She rose on her tiptoes and closed her eyes, hoping that her aim was good.  Rolfe was a good few inches taller than her, and she hoped that the impulsive decision to kiss his cheek would pay off and she didn’t wind up catching his earlobe or anything.

She was surprised when instead of his cheek or his earlobe, she actually managed to kiss his mouth.  Judging by the soft intake of breath, Rolfe was just as surprised as she was.  The kiss didn’t last but for a second or two, but she broke away first, an apology already on her lips and heat flushing to her cheeks.

Rolfe smiled at her, a genuine smile that made his blue eyes sparkle and that dimple reappear at his cheek.  “Wow.”  He shuffled closer to her and tilted his head.  “May I?”

She felt disconnected from her body as she slowly nodded.  Lily closed her eyes as Rolfe reached out to cup her cheek in his hand and slowly brushed his lips across hers once, then twice before settling into a firmer kiss.  She melted against his embrace and when she lifted her hands to wrap around him, she could feel the muscles at his back loosen and relax.

Rolfe’s thumb brushed against her cheek and he gently bumped his nose against hers.  “Wow,” he murmured again, slowly moving away from her.  Lily almost instantly missed the warmth of his body against hers.  He was going to say something when the band’s lead singer cleared their throat loudly into the microphone on stage.

“If our Cassanova is finished, we’re back from break.”

Rolfe looked sheepish.  “I’ve got to go,” he told her, jerking a thumb over his shoulder at the band.  “Duty calls.”

Lily nodded and absently bit at her lip.  She watched as Rolfe’s eyes seemed to darken and he swooped down for a quick kiss to her cheek.  “Text me?  I wasn’t kidding about my roommate threatening to kill me if I woke him up with a phone call.”

She was still nodding as he turned around and headed to the stage at a quick jog.  Lily watched as the drummer handed Rolfe his guitar and there was a quick huddle before the lead singer laughed and stepped aside.

Even with the bright lights pointed at the stage, Rolfe managed to catch Lily’s eyes and hold it.  “So this isn’t a regular thing, but the band agreed to indulge me.  This next song is an original, but be gentle: I just thought of it ten seconds ago.  It doesn’t have many lyrics yet, but I’m calling it Lily.”

Lily could all but feel Raphael’s eyes on her the entire time she wandered haphazardly back to their table her attention focused on the stage and the song being played more than anything.

“Well, well, well,” Raphael drawled as she finally sat back down.  “Someone made a friend.”

“Oh please, don’t you start.”

He put a hand up defensively. “I’m not starting anything. To be honest, I think it’s sweet.  A little cheesy, but sweet nonetheless.”

Lily smiled and raised her glass to salute Rolfe as he wrapped up his song. It wasn’t the best song she’d ever heard, but she could definitely tell Rolfe was making both the music and the lyrics up on the fly.

It was the cutest thing anyone had ever done to impress her.

“So,” Raphael started, digging into the nachos that had been served to their table while she had been at the bar, “are you going to call him or not?”

She blushed. “How do you know he gave me his number?” she asked, picking up a nacho to give herself time to think.

“I was watching. The guy was slick.”

“You were being nosy, you mean.”

“Call it what you want, but I saw him handing something to you. I’d put money on it that a phone number was involved.”

The coaster weighed heavily in her jacket pocket. “I haven’t decided yet.” She looked at her watch and did some quick mental calculations. If the band was going to play all night, they’d be up for another break in about an hour. Even if she didn’t call Rolfe, at least she’d get a second chance to talk with him.

She turned her attention back to the stage just in time to watch Rolfe wave in her direction. Smiling, she waved back.

What the hell, she thought, pulling her phone out. Tapping a quick note to tell him she enjoyed the impromptu serenade, she hit send before she could think better of it and delete the message.  If anything, getting to know Rolfe would be fun.

[nikoleguidi6-blog]

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[fmdjoosungarchive]

fmdmeme001

yes, i’m late. at the bottom, there are pictures of the asks i got for this meme back then, so you know i’m not cheating

what is your favorite single you’ve released?

“if it’s just about what single i like best as a song, i think it’s hola hola. i’m quite partial to more upbeat, summery songs. it’d probably be hola hola for what makes me happiest too, because it reminds me of officially debuting, and i was really excited back then! but i liked the concepts for you in me and bomb bomb the most. you in me has more of a story to it which i like, and bomb bomb makes us look really cool.”

what are your favorite b-sides/non-title tracks you’ve released?

“overall one of my favorite songs we’ve ever released, b-side or not, would be living good. it’s the song i’ve had the most hands on approach in creating, and i’m always wanting to give back to the fans and show them our love. if it’s strictly about sound, though, i think it would be trust me, in any which version. it’s the closest to the kind of music i’d like to make for myself some day.”

what is your least favorite song (title track or b-side) you’ve released?

“ah, i don’t think i have a least favorite? i love all of our songs! if i had to choose a song, it’d be bomb bomb. it was really nice to get to have a comeback and for it to do as well as it did, but it’s the furthest song we have from what i’d normally listen to. it’s a bit harsh for me.”

if you could do a duet with anyone in the industry, who would you choose?

“anyone? gosh, um, i’d do a duet with all of my idols if it were up to me. maybe [gold star soloist 1]? i’ve been a fan of her as long as i was into music, so about ten years now. i’d like to do a soft duet about love where i get to sing. she’d sing way better than me, of course, but i don’t mind being upstaged, especially by her.”

what do you think of your/your group’s concept?

“it’s really cool in my opinion! a lot of what we do has been very different from other groups, and in some ways, it’s worked in our favor. when the company told me i’d be representing the water element, i thought that was fun because i love swimming and the beach. and i think it fits with our fans a lot too, because they represent the world, and so do we, in a way.”

what is one thing (a concept, a genre, an outfit, etc.) you would least like your company make you do?

“i... don’t want to come off ungrateful to the company or the concepts that they come up with but, i would really not like to kiss anyone. i don’t mind romance concepts, and i think it can be fun, but there’s something different about being that intimate with someone. i’ve only shared romantic kisses with one other person in my life, and i’d like to keep it that way. i suppose i can’t choose what happens to me, though.”

what one thing (concepts, genres, styling, frequency of comebacks, etc.) would you like to change about your current career as an idol?

“only one thing? um... i don’t like the way the company leans into my looks, but i think more important than that is the frequency of comebacks. we had a very powerful debut, which gave us the momentum, but we’ve somewhat lost it, and i think part of that is because we don’t have comebacks super often. it’s not as fun listening to a group’s discography when they only have a small number of songs.”

if you could be in any idol group, which one would you choose?

“knight. ...was that too quick of an answer? i don’t hide that i’m a big fan of bc groups, and though i love decipher and charm, they’re getting up on becoming a ‘senior group’ now and still have an incredibly strong fanbase. but if gender wasn’t an issue, i’d go with wish. i don’t like playing favorites, but wish is definitely my favorite group these days. i love their concept and every song is great in my opinion!”

if you could say one thing to your ceo, what would it be?

“i’m not very confrontational, so i don’t think i’d be able to say much beyond thanks and bowing. truthfully, i knew her better as a trainee than i do now. but, if i didn’t have to say it to her face, i’d like to kindly express that i don’t think competition is the way to build a successful company, because if they put more behind groups like us, maybe we would be more successful. but i don’t like the business oriented mindset, so, i’m biased.”

if you were auditioning for your company today, what would you perform for your audition, or what would you change from your original audition?

“i’d change everything from my original audition! i had no idea what i was doing at the time because i’d never had any training in the arts. i know at the time i was passed through because i was scouted based on my looks, but if i did it today, i’d rather wow them with my dancing, probably to an impulse or origin song, since that would be what they’d be looking for from me. i’d like to say i would sing for them as well, but that’s still a few years off, i think.”

if you could do any special stage, what would it be and who would it be with?

“it would probably be performing bemyfriend with @fmdseyeon! it’s the first song i’ve officially released outside of element, and it would be a lot of fun to do with one of my best friends. we have good chemistry because of it, and i think, especially if we had some say in the stage, or the choreography, it could be a really fun stage to do together. i’m also always up for dancing more, and who better than a man who used to fall asleep in the practice room as trainees with me?”

what career opportunities would you like to pursue that you’ve yet to, or what achievements would you like to obtain that you’ve yet to?

“i’d like us to get a music show win. i don’t know if it’s in the cards for us, but maybe if the korean public start to like us more it could happen? i’m not sure... um, personally? i don’t think there’s much i haven’t pursued that i want to, as i’ve been trying to do more of that lately. i’ve liked what i’ve been doing as i create songs and choreography, though. it makes me happy.”

if you could become a model or ambassador for any brand, what would you choose?

“hmm, maybe for a cute character i like? like kkt, or hello kitty. or! a bookstore! that would be really cool. i don’t think bookstores have ambassadors, but i love books so i’d be knowledgable enough for the gig. that sort of branding stuff isn’t big on my mind, though.”

if you could be on any variety show, which one (or which type of one) would you want to be on?

“i really love kids, so if it were a current show, i’d like to be on the return of superman. stuff about kids makes me miss my nephew a lot, but i love meeting new people, especially kids! they’re all so nice and good, and the world needs more of that. but if i could choose one that isn’t on air anymore, i think hello baby would fit me better, and it’d be fun to do it with the rest of element! we’d make good parents.”

if you were offered the chance to become a ceo of an entertainment company, new or existing, would you take it? why or why not?

“that’s a bit of a difficult question. i don’t think so. i’d like to think that i could be a fair and understanding and kind ceo, but i wouldn’t like the job. i left my home for music because i didn’t want to be in a business position. i’m not very good at having the strength to win deals and be cunning in meetings, and i think when it comes to competing against all of the other entertainment companies from the ground up, you’d need a lot of that.”

what changes would you implement if you were the ceo of your company?

“again, i don’t like the thought of being a ceo much. it’s too much pressure. but, if this were a scenario where i didn’t have any holds barred, and could make decisions as i pleased, i’d let all of the artists contribute to the music as much as they wanted, so long as they were willing to be vetoed and work with experienced professionals. i’d treat everyone equally, and use idols not based on what will make the most money, but on what they are the most passionate to do.”

what do you do to relieve the stress of idol life?

“i take baths! it’s not always an option, especially when we’re out of the country and a hotel room doesn’t have a bath, but i love it! there are so many relaxing scents to waft through the room, and it’s generally relaxing to let your muscles decompress in warm water. besides from that, though, i like talking with my friends and reading.”

what tips would you give to a trainee about to debut?

“am i the best person to ask this? i’m unsure, given element’s debut was so unconventional. i have a hard time thinking of our debut being in 2017 because it feels like it was in 2016. but, um, drink well, eat well, and look after your health. no matter how much you want to push yourself, you can’t be productive if you go too far and get hurt. you’re a person at the end of the day and deserve to treat yourself kindly.”

what was the hardest part of being a trainee?

x

did you enjoy the lifestyle of a trainee or of a debuted idol more?

“both have their ups and downs, and i don’t know if one outweighs the other. maybe debuted idol? there was some sense of accomplishment and less worries over whether i would be kicked from the company, especially in the beginning. nowadays, i’m not sure. i think it doesn’t matter in the end, because they’re connected, and i couldn’t have been an idol if i didn’t go through the training, and similarly vice versa.”

what one song or album by another group or soloist would you have liked to release yourself?

“i think... @fmdtaeyong‘s album daydream? i’m not a very talented singer, but the sounds is something i would like for myself. that’s part of why i admire him as an artist, because i love the songs he creates. if i needed to stick to something more within my position, though, it’d be @fmdjaewon‘s biorhythm album, for a similar reason as ash sunbaenim’s. we may not have gotten along much in the past, but i have always admired him as an artist and would love to work with him in the future if that is the kind of music he enjoys.”

describe your dream sub-unit (members and concept).

“can’t i be a part of wish as a sub-unit? ...alright, um, if i really think about it, i’d want to have people that i think are very talented, and work well separately and together. [gold star soloist 1] would absolutely have to be a part of it. then, maybe @fmdxsuji. her vocal power is intense. @cindyfmd too, they both have the similar punching power that could contrast with [gold star soloist 1]’s soft vocals. and then, if we choose another rapper, probably [silhouette main rapper/lead dancer]. and that way, they make a very solid group, and i can step back more and have less lines, if any at all. i don’t think one singular concept would work for us, so maybe it could be like fuse or 7rophy where we can bounce around to whatever feels right.”

out of the following six options, would you rather be allowed to play a major hand in the lyrics, production, choreography, styling, music videos, or concepts you release?

“gosh, that’s really hard. i’d like a part in at least most of those if it were totally up to me. but if i could only have a major hand in one, i think i’d choose production, if that could mean production and composition in one. as much as i love dancing, i think a lovely part of the community of dancers is learning from one another. when it comes to the sound of a song, i think that’s the biggest point in what drive’s the rest of those things. like, in element, people think of us as summery and tropical because many of our songs use tropical beats, and a lot of our styling and concepts have followed that.”

which of the two other companies (out of bc, dimensions, and gold star) you are not currently signed under would you rather be an artist in?

“definitely it’d be bc! i have friends under the company that don’t like it, which i understand but... they make really good groups. many of them have stayed together for a really long time, some without losing members in so long, and they have a lot of money and fame to back up new groups. they get the best of everything for their comebacks. and i’d... like to be a part of a company that believes in me and my group.”

what is your least favorite part of being an idol?

“the way fans talk about me and my friends. i think they think we don’t, or can’t, see the mean things they say, but so many of them are mean for no reason. they like to do this thing where they fight each other over who is a fan of the better idol? i don’t understand it, and it never gets anywhere. they both leave with the same opinions they had, but more upset.”

what is your favorite part of being an idol?

“this may sound cliche, but it’s music. the art surrounding music is the reason i auditioned for the company, and the reason i spent eight years working as hard as i could to debut. music, and the things that come with it, like dancing, singing, composing, they’re all a part of my soul. i wouldn’t give any of them up without a fight.”

would you rather be incredibly famous with a terrible reputation and hated by most or be fairly unknown with a good reputation and adored by those who know of you? why?

“fairly unknown! that’s probably the answer more close to where i am now. i am... known, of course, but in korea, i can generally get away with going out on my own and not being recognized. and, unless i’ve missed something, i’m pretty sure i have a good reputation. some people may see me as a playboy of sorts because i have a lot of female friends, but it’s not damaging as far as i know. i don’t want people to think terribly of me, because i think if there are so many people who have that awful opinions of me, i must be doing something wrong.”

what moment in your career are you proudest of so far?

x

what have you learned about yourself and/or society since becoming a celebrity?

“i don’t know if i’d necessarily call myself a celebrity... but i’ve learned a lot since our pre-debut! time does that to anyone, i think. the standards i hold myself to have changed, in that, while i’m still competitive against myself, i know i can’t push myself to the point of tearing more ligaments, because it only hurts me later on. in my personal life, i’ve become a bit different. i think some of my naivety has drifted away, and as i’ve come to find love, i’ve changed there too.”

what would you like to change about how society views or treats idols?

x