#i was incapable of thinking of anything else

[anistarrose]

You know, I'm starting to think that weird freak incident earlier this year where I wrote essentially a full novel in less than four months, barring editing, has left me with some unrealistic standards regarding turnaround times for all other creative writing endeavors

[v-risalab]

I think it's extremely fucked that no matter how many times laios demonstrates how capable and smart he is, ppl keep calling him a himbo just because he acts like an autistic person

[eggcats]

I'm thinking about radiodust again, but imagine. Alastor and Angel going on an outing for the hotel together.

(Forced bonding activity, maybe. Alastor tries to get out of it by claiming he had things he needed to do and pick up, and Charlie just said Angel can go WITH him instead for it to count.)

Angel is anxious because he KNOWS how it looks to go anywhere with someone. And despite his face he knows Smiles isn't one to take insults lightly.

Alastor, however, THRIVES off attention and people wanting to know what's going on with him. He loves this, it's fueling him. He might ask Angel to accompany him on ALL his outings from now on because the immediate reaction of everyone who sees them is Very Entertaining.

Once Angel realizes that Alastor isn't going to freak on him for all the attention they're getting just by virtue of being there, he starts to enjoy it. It's nice to do something as mundane as going out with someone (even if it ain't a date), without the expectation for how that will end.

PLUS while they're getting a lot of attention, this is one of the first times he's gone anywhere without someone catcalling him or yelling some version of "Slut!" from across the street. (Someone did happen to yell "The RADIO DEMON is fucking ANGEL DUST?!?!" but they didn't remain in the afterlife long, and since then no one has yelled a single thing at him. S'nice.)

It also until that very moment didn't occur to Angel just how much RESPECT he could garner just by being next to Alastor. He goes into a store to pick something up and is just dealing with his normal level of disrespect and harassment before Alastor pops up behind him to see what's taking so long.

It only takes one instance of a tilted head and focused eyes on the sales associate, with a casual "Is there something keeping you, Angel, dear?" for everyone on this side of the pentagram to immediately assume that messing with Angel Dust means messing with none other than the RADIO DEMON. (If it has the added benefit of pissing off the Vox, AND makes Val a bit more wary about messing with Angel, then that's just a bonus.)

You can take this as platonic or romantic, but Angel swoons a bit anyway at the Southern Gentleman treatment, in either case.

And this is the catalyst for them to begin getting along, without Angel feeling the need to put up his over-sexualized porn star persona as his safest way to interact with Alastor.

(IMO, both huskerdust and radiodust work so well because Angel deserves someone who treats him well and respects him for who he is, and not what he can do for them. He deserves a good ol' fashioned lover boy to take care of him, both romantically and platonically, and that's why I love both ships.)

[mollypaup]

i think a really great aspect of oofuri is how much it gets mihashi's ass for being overly timid and dependent. it would be really easy to write off the way he and abe interact as being abe's fault because he is overbearing, and a lot of people do, but it has some really great moments of going "hey, you cannot hide behind abe or depend on him to make every decision. it's not good for you, or him, or the team."

[imminent-danger-came]

Not to me, not if it’s you.

[makotonaegiunderstander]

something I’ve been thinking abt is how many people think Makoto is immune to despair. I don’t think he is. I think becoming the ultimate Hope was BECAUSE he felt despair. He wouldn’t have fully reached that point without Junko. Makoto becoming such a beacon was his last attempt to avoid completely falling and it wasn’t because he didn’t feel despair, it was because he was too damn stubborn to allow everything to go to waste and he refused to sacrifice his beliefs for someone else’s. His inner monologue tells me he DID experience the same new low the other suvivors did in the final trial, but at the point where he had the choice to give up and die, he looked at the others and he looked at Junko and he couldn’t allow it to happen, not out of self preservation, but because the idea that Junko would have control over their lives made him FURIOUS. and that utter refusal to die kicked in, wether luck or otherwise, and he made the concious effort for one last push while something in him was breaking. He had to be broken in order for the Ultimate Hope to come through so aggressively, bc it could only exist in the face of the Ultimate Despair. He snapped the same way she did, but in the other direction. In what could have been his final moments he chose to embody everything Junko wasn’t, and every single optimistic and luck fueled ideal in him suddenly charged forward and pushed him. It was a combination of the final straw and a choice. Makoto isn’t immune to feeling despair, he’s just too stubborn to fall into it of his own volition. I think that’s why I like that scene in DR3 so much. People were SO SHOCKED Makoto actually fell for the tape, that he actually became despair for a moment. I saw people getting mad or disappointed, saying it was pathetic and Makoto seemed to fall from some sort of pedestal for them. Honestly part of me wonders if that sort of mentality, which clearly people had in universe, affected Makoto a bit. Like he started to see himself as less of a person, subconsciously. Prompting him to take more risks, less self preservation, act way more bold. It seems he has to be reminded a lot not to put himself in danger by his friends, to not do something too reckless. All over the place I would see in regards to that scene either this frivolous ‘oh this was just angst drama with no meaning behind it’ or ‘he can do better than that. he’s so weak’ or ‘come on, there’s no way he’d fall into despair, he’s the Ultimate Hope!’ This kind of mentality, which was kind of ironic considering Ryota was there the entire time saying the same thing and treating Makoto the same way. Like Makoto was superhuman. Like Makoto didn’t feel despair the same way ‘normal people’ did. In a way that was also how Munakata saw Makoto. Makoto stopped being a PERSON to the world when he became Ultimate Hope, he became a concept, a belief system, much the same way Junko ascended beyond herself. But the difference is that treating Makoto that way is the opposite of the reason Makoto became such a representative for hope. He wasn’t doing something no one else could. He was doing something everyone had the chance to, he just… was a little more optimistic, a little more stubborn, a little more ‘gung-ho’ about things. He just took the lead where no one else did, where no one else knew they even COULD in the face of Junko’s unstoppable force. She had overcome the biggest threats and obstacles in the world, what could one person do? And the answer Makoto found was, anything. Everything. It doesn’t all rest on Makoto, he’s just the one that was inspired to try to do what seemed like the impossible. But as evidenced by the change in his friends after that trial, it’s clearly not something only Makoto is capable of. The others pulled out of despair thanks to Makoto, but it was their choice to do so.

“But… this world is so huge, and we’re so small. What can we do…? No, we can probably do anything. Yeah! We can do anything!”

[aphel1on]

not sure how to phrase this but something i have been ruminating on recently is that xue yang is strangely fragile. obviously he is also incredibly resilient. he survived, and continues to survive, impossible things. he has a million barriers between himself and the world, but none of this actually matters when it comes to what he feels. everything is personal to him. everything pierces straight through all that armor and goes right to his battered heart, the heart that no one else believes he has. that even he is not fully cognizant of. the world strikes and strikes and strikes and so he strikes and strikes and strikes back, even (especially) when the wound is something other people would not think worthy of retribution.

xue yang would never realize this- would be outraged at the concept of it- but the way everything, everything is something to rally a defense against is in itself a form of fragility. he does not know how to let go of things, or let them pass him by. passivity is death. so he is ruthlessly cruel and violent. he projects himself as a lunatic untouchable by anything you might possibly do to him, and on some level he even believes this. but in actuality he is one raw emotional wound. he never learned to separate himself from his emotions, much less process them. the volatility is not so much insanity as it is the constant lashing out of an animal in a trap, and the trap is the world, and the trap is himself, and he is never going to get out. and like so much else, this pain is just part of the background radiation of his life. it hardly registers. to be able to register the hurt, you would have to be able to register a time in which you were not hurt.

i feel like it is a fragility that could blossom into such tenderness, given exactly the right set of circumstances. how at the very first touch of softness in his life he fell into a domesticity from which he never recovered. how much was there, still, to be salvaged from the cruelty. on some level i am always thinking about the little apple bunnies. about the meal for daozhang and the straw in a-qing's bed.

it was too little, too late. it shattered like glass when the world intruded back in. but the tenderness was there. no one, least of all xue yang, knows what might have happened had it been unearthed in him any sooner.

[respectthepetty]

I'm being completely normal as I patiently wait for the new episode of Dead Friend Forever.

Soooooo normal. Soooooo patient.

[aropride]

teenage boys "cant control their hormones" so nobody can wear tank tops in high school. but also teenagers are "too young to know" if theyre ace or bi or gay or whatever else. make it make sense -_-

[divorcedtom]

i know we say greg was insane for this but i think it's even more insane that tom was holding him with both hands like it was an embrace

[miodiodavinci]

i saw that you used to hint at oc stuff on twitter (don't ask me why im digging im looking for zola stuff lmao) why don't you post more about them?

i am simply terrified that if i post oc things online someone will steal the concept and run with it faster and better than i ever could have and then i will be devastated forever and ever

more seriously i have very little to show for any of my oc things (adhd brain making life difficult as per usual awawawawawa) and every time i've shared oc things in the past i've ended up never following up on it and it makes me feel bad and guilty so i've just convinced myself i will Never talk about my ocs until i have something substantial i can put out there

[absolutely-not-my-main-blog]

Thinking too long about Always Sunny always has me feeling like a Lovecraftian protagonist who has seen the incommunicable horrors (or wonders) beyond human comprehension and has succumbed to the eyes of madness, so I must occasionally wall off that part of my mind to hold back the floodgates of thoughts for the show, lest the last slivers of my sanity slip away, but it's like trying to nail a single board or place a single piece of tape over the door to an entire universe that keeps trying to pull you back in with some kind of black hole gravitational force when the whole time all anyone else sees is a simple locked door marked "pirate."

[cerealmonster15]

i literally cant stop thinking about these two parts from alhaitham and kavehs story lore bio things. like i know people have talked about them to death and it's old news by now but i only just cleared the sumeru story + alhaitham and kavehs story quests/hangouts like a month ago so i have them on the brain lol!!!

alhaitham did not socialize much at all in the akademiya and did not do any group research projects except for ONE!!!! he got involved enough with kaveh that he was willing to go against his normal keeping to himself way of doing things and join a project with him - that, or maybe he found that particular research topic interesting enough to do for once, which is something he and kaveh still shared together..............

and my godddd alhaitham throwing a harsh truth at kaveh, and kaveh being hurt by his BEST FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BEST FRIENDS!!!!!!but so hurt/defensive to the point that he got worked up and told alhaitham he regretted making friends with him ;;;A;;; and alhaitham, who we have seen SEVERAL TIMES genuinely does NOT care what people think about him - something they show us a lot in i think both the sumeru story and his character quest - he left the project!!! he took his name off!!!! it's not kaveh who left, not a "well if you feel that way you can leave" but HE left!!!! like i dont know, maybe there's semantics of kaveh being the one that started it, or maybe i'm totally reading it wrong and it's alhaitham removing kavehs name lol but i feel like theyd specify if that's the case - either way. alhaitham taking action at all.......... a really bad argument......... boys who hurt each others feelings kfjskljsekljflk ;w;

that last sentence also makes me think they were like "i can fix him -> i cant fix him actually this guys fucked up beyond repair 😔"

but also this bit from kavehs notebook!!!!!!!!!!! about alhaitham!!!! he meets him, he likes him, "our views are aligned and they are complete" BUT CROSSED OUT!! they agreed at some point?? but then. i guess he didnt cross it out when they had the falling out but rather when he got to know alhaitham more and changed it with that second line... we contrast, but that is good. and the comment that it specifically was a retained line, like he didnt go back and block it out or anything after....... perhaps still holding that in his heart 😔

and the thesis. waughghhghg. ok im done talking to myself i think i have like maybe 3 mutuals/follower people that are even somewhat interested in genshin but SORRY i am in the deep end

[gorillaxyz]

bah..

[tombware]

probably not intentionally written like this but felt sick thinking about this in the context of AA living in the palace where he got his ass whipped for 200 years

[ribbittrobbit]

had a fucking horrible day tattooing today bec somehow the client’s skin just wasn’t behaving like stencil absolutely fucked to hell, intricate fucking design, stretchiest skin of all time and i feel absolutely insane.