#i was having fun up until the end of e4

[unamused-kookaburra]

Watching the trailer for totally completely fine: oh fun! a cool little aussie dark comedy!

Finishing the final episode:

[justa-moth]

fun charles rowland fact!

So I was going back through the show and trying to get some gifs of Charles, and I found out something interesting!

I was going back to get a silly funny clip of that ghost guy's head blowing up in E3, and I realized something that I have no idea how I didn't pick up before.

Charles is left handed!

Which I was like, wow! Cool! I don't know how I didn't pick up on that the first time around because I usually get excited over small character details like that, but whatever, right?

(putting the rest of my revelation under a cut lol)

And then on my continuation of said gif quest, I was getting a clip of Charles pulling his cricket bat out at Esther's in E1.

He pulls out his cricket bat and attacks with it with his right hand.

Then I was like, oh cool! He writes with his left, but attacks with his right, that's sick.

But then I wanted to go back to moments I remembered Charles using his cricket bat/other weapons, just to see, and I found out something even more interesting (at least to me).

During both instances in E1 where they have to fight someone, both the WWI ghost and Esther (the gif earlier), Charles uses his right hand for weapons, while drawing the demon sigil with his left (though he does use his right to set the paint brush down at the very end).

(When he cuts the mask off the ghost in their office he does use his left hand, but I'm not counting that because he was physically incapable of grabbing the knife with his right hand at that moment.)

However, despite the two instances of him using his right hand for combat purposes in E1, he seems to use his left in every other instance I can find.

Here's some examples (mainly bc I wanna show off my collection):

(From left to right: Facing the Cat King in E2, Bludgeoning the Night Nurse in E4, Fighting David in E6, and Fighting Esther's Snake in E8) (I didn't mean for these all to be even numbers, I swear 😭😭)

Anyway, when I first was making this post I thought I was gonna find a cute fact out about Charles being ambidextrous fighting wise, but the fact that the only instances I can find of him using his right hand are in E1 is throwing me off.

Did the show originally plan to just have it be "Charles writes with his left and fights with his right" and that be it, but then realize it would be better if he just only ever used his left?

I don't know if that's the case, but I choose to run off with my original "he just uses whichever hand he feels like" theory and running away with it as a headcanon until someone proves me otherwise.

Anyway though, I hope you all found this ramble of a post informative in some kind of way hsdfhkld

[dipplinduo]

Have you ever scrapped ideas for Sweet & Sour?

Yep!

My process has luckily been more of "transform an idea that doesn't fit" situation for most things, but I'm happy to talk about some of the things that didn't make the cut. Whipping out the notes page...

Lacey was actually meant to be the spotlighted E4 member that gets close to Juliana, not Drayton (hence the focus on her in Chapter 1 & 2). She was actually my favorite at first, and I envisioned her as being a positive, grounding guide for Juliana, and also somewhat of a middle ground influence for Kieran. But then I wrote my spin on the cafeteria scene, and I was like "oh my god wait, Drayton's character is so enticing and flexible, and he's especially fun to insert as an influence in the Kieran/Juliana dynamic". SOOOOOO I quickly decided to pivot and make him the spotlighted one, and have him do more of this brotherly figurer role who was very cunning and comedic. Before I even realized I got overtaken by the iconicism, and now he's just part of my brand in general. Whoops. The "Drayton Being Iconic" tag existed on this blog before this happened so I honestly should've seen it coming LMAO. I do have very important plans for the rest of the E4 and what role they're playing, though :

Don't laugh at this one - it was also early development LOL. I was going to have a party scene where Drayton convinces Juliana to pretend she got drunk (I know) as part of a roundabout and wild way to find evidence that Kieran had a soft spot for her (I KNOW). Kieran was essentially gonna waltz in (to a social event he otherwise never would make an appearance in) and he'd get all flustered as Juliana latches onto him. He would've decided to sweep her away from the party and take him back to his dorm. I ended up scrapping this entirely because while teens do party and all that...yeah, and also we pretty much got the dynamic moments I wanted to portray much better through the chapters where Juliana got sick.

Kieran/Juliana dynamic was also gonna have a moment where Kieran gets it in his head to start flirting with Juliana because he thinks that she’s flirting to get him to put his guard down. And that's where they both kinda were gonna secretly realize their feelings LOL. In hindsight lowkey fire still, but yeah, kinda just didn't have the space for it. We do have flirty Kieran era though, and that's still based.

This one is kinda known already, but originally the Applins were the only stars of the show (hence the name of the fic). I added Ribombee in early on after enough people wanted it and gave it lore/a connection to Kieran and his mother. Before Ribombee was conceptualized, I had different plans for what happened to Kieran's parents (he would still be an orphan regardless).

Briar was originally going to make a "deal" with Clavell regarding getting Juliana to come to Blueberry early, although it wouldn't be revealed until Juliana discovers this later. I scrapped this in favor of something much better because I didn't like the implications it had on Clavell's character, and honestly, only Blueberry is supposed to have the sketchy admin/systematic stuff going on anyways lol.

Kieran was meant to show more obvious signs of sleep deprivation (e.g. falling suspect to illness more frequently, slowed reactions). This idea is still good and realistic, but yeah, ended up leaning more into other symptomology that went well with the toxic chain curse (e.g. irritability, obsessive fixations, self-criticism, overworking himself, fatigue, etc.)

Ribombee was going to sleep powder both Kieran & Juliana in the cave scene of Ch 5. I decided to make it a bit more organic by having Kieran up and reflecting on everything + having Ribombee appearance in a more mystical way. Plus, I thought it would mean more if Kieran & Juliana opted to cuddle up themselves rather than being knocked out. There was a part of me that was worried the dynamic was progressing too fast this way with this change, but it seemed to have landed well! :)

This doesn't really count as a scrapped idea, but related: I 1000% retconned something with the Drayton POV chapters (if ykyk, LOL). But YEP. It's CANON. And frankly it's a decision I personally love that has implications, but also won't screw up the storytelling for where we're at now, either.

There's actually a lot more, too, but like I said: most of my ideas tend to upgrade. And lolololol OMG this is especially true for some major lore stuff. I just don't want to reveal it because I don't want to give y'all hints on where we're going!! LOL.

And also...there are cuter moments I haven't used in S&S and probably won't be able to because I account for what makes sense with the given dynamic. BUT what I do end up doing is taking those unused ideas and putting them into What-Ifs or other stories. There's one I'm particularly thinking of that I was dying to put in S&S D, but I don't think it would trip up the current Kieran as much as it would've in earlier chapters, lol. SO. It's going in The Dichotomy in Our Hearts instead! xD

This was super fun to write, hope it was enough substance for the question! <3

[lavaridge-gym-official]

do you have any tips for becoming a gym leader? what did you do to become one?

So, here in my Hoenn, the League isn't a sports thing, and you can't actually do the gym challenge until you're 17 or older. Gym leaders function as community leaders. Like Lavaridge still has a mayor and whatnot, but there are certain things--especially involving pokémon or any supernatural occurences (which are often pokémon-related)--that I'm in charge of handling. Like, a salamence setting up a lair in the southern reaches of the Lady's Spine, where they are definitely not supposed to be? Call a gym leader to relocate them. Spooky tower of sand spotted in the desert? A gym leader should investigate; it's probably a ghost or something. Stuff like that.

I'm also in charge of making sure my gym trainers are, well, trained to help people who are on or just starting their journeys. We make sure people learn how to handle their pokémon in a way that's safe for everyone involved. Pokémon are smarter than animals but still need to be taught things, y'know? The partnering instinct does a lot to help them listen, but that's not the end-all-be-all. And ultimately the gym challenge is a test of how well you've bonded with and trained your pokémon. As a gym leader it's my job to evaluate whether the people challenging me have done so, or if they still have things to work on. I sometimes hand out badges even if they lose--if they proved they were working well with their partner the whole time. Being a good team isn't always about winning every time!

We're also in charge of getting people their first pokémon. Not everyone can purchase, adopt, or wander the wilderness on their own to catch a new friend, and in those cases a gym employee accompanies the prospective trainer to make sure they're safe while they catch a pokémon. We also work with shelters to adopt out pokémon in need of loving homes.

As for how I got the position: in order to be in the running for gym leader, you have to beat the E4 and champion, and even then you're not guaranteed a leadership spot. After I beat the gym challenge myself, I apprenticed under the last Lavaridge gym leader, Deirdre, for years before she retired and passed the position along to me. I did a lot of training and helped train a lot of people.

And tips... huh. My best advice is that you should stay true to yourself no matter what. It's no use trying to be somebody else--be the best you that you can be. Work hard, but take care of yourself too, and don't burn out or stop having fun. And remember that everybody loses sometimes--and that's okay! Losing or failing is how we learn to do better next time. So roll with it! Pick yourself back up and go again with more experience. We can always improve as people, and always learn more about the world and the folks around us.

That got kind of longwinded, haha! I'm just really passionate about this sort of thing. Thanks for the ask, sweetheart ❤️

[queenangst]

imagine if lou failed that charisma saving throw… in a different game, a helpless pinocchio could do nothing but watch the stepmother devour his father.

the fact that, until the reveal, he saw her as his mom?? his complicated, weird mom with a past (“all moms have pasts”)??? hurts. what gets me is that, between looking at the monster that ruined his happy ending and the entity holding his father hostage, he turned to the latter “in the childlike way that Pinocchio is young” because she was his maternal figure.

HE’S JUST A LITTLE BOY I CAN’T

i did have this thought during the episode though, what i'm worried is going to happen is now that pinocchio is presumably free from stepmother's control that she'll just devour or kill geppetto... since pinocchio is no longer useful to her, geppetto isn't useful to her either - since he's always been a tool to keep pinocchio compliant. and since someone brought it up to me, i think geppetto is still alive up to this point, considering it was his blood that boosted pinocchio's powers in episode 4, and she's had no reason to kill him... but now she may not have a reason to keep him alive.

and yeah every episode as we see more and more of pinocchio interacting with stepmother or talking about her my heart really breaks. imo i've been interpreting pinocchio as accepting of his situation because he knows he has to, bc stepmother is 'taking care' of geppetto. some people have said pinocchio is a bit naive or trusting towards stepmother, but i dont think so... i think he just knows his own position with her. you can really see it in e4 when they're talking post-death that... in my opinion, pinocchio is acutely aware of his position and how little power and agency he had at that point. and this episode, when he was talking to miss muffet - he described how it was all or nothing. all responsibility. that how he sees his own story is that he needed to (and was forced to) grow up and that he can't be a little kid and have fun. combined with the times of shadow and how it was so important that pinocchio needed to be able to lie, that he would break off his own nose... is just really awful and telling. and when stepmother gave him pinocchi-crow, partly as a familiar and partly so she could watch him, he admittedly hated it.

but also, he's never had a maternal figure before. he called her mom. he consistently downplayed and left out information about her to his friends (partly, i think, to protect them/to keep his business to himself with geppetto, and partly for her sake, too). i don't think pinocchio loves her, not the way he loves his father. but as he said, she's helped him and given him gifts. she has looked after him to an extent. obviously from the outside this is abuse and manipulation, and pinocchio is aware of some of that, but i think he does care for her in some way.

and ultimately he is a kid. he's just a boy. a boy on strings.

[crystalelemental]

I have completed a run of Emerald. We've been watching the Hoenn anime and it put me in the mood for the games. Pretty great still! Much worse time overall.

My team, as it turns out, was Not Ideal.

Sceptile was the starter. Fun fact, I think the last time I ran Treecko in Gen 3, or really ever, was before Gen 4 came out. I opted to prep from my last Emerald run, getting a Bagon that learned Dragonbreath and Crunch to pass along as egg moves. Miracle hatched a Naive female with what felt like really good stats (seemed higher than the initial starter), and had a great time with it. If I had planned my team better, I likely would've gone Earthquake as the fourth move to make Wallace less of a problem.

Camerupt is one I don't think I've ever run ever. In general, it was a pretty excellent pick! Camerupt did a lot of great stuff the entire run...until the League, when it stopped having like any utility. It didn't even contribute that significantly to the Steven fight, since Earthquake is a thing. I want to like Camerupt, but it's not great in its debut generation's main game. Lots of problems. Then again, I did get Sassy, so maybe it's more a speed issue.

Sharpedo, by contrast, is excellent. Has no use for its physical attack given the HMs, but Surf, Ice Beam, Crunch handles a lot. Crushes Phoebe and Drake, contributes fantastically against Sidney, actually does help against Steven by basically one-shotting Aggron and Armaldo both. Fantastic Pokemon to run.

Altaria was...okay look this was not my best work. I got Quiet, and for some reason, my train of thought went "I should try Dragon Dance, because it has to have Fly." This was unfathomably stupid. Altaria didn't contribute much...until I got my own Metagross, and taught Altaria Perish Song. Then we had hilariously beaten Steven by locking him to his last Metagross, which couldn't OHKO my own, and letting Perish Song do its thing. Owned, idiot.

Seviper was one I wanted to use, based on an old ORAS run where it did pretty well. It did not do as well here. Like, it tried to contribute, but it was my lowest level Pokemon by a decent margin, solely because I just never had a situation where it was the best choice. The others covered pretty much everything it could contribute against, better than it did. Flamethrower didn't make up for the prevalence of Earthquake, Crunch didn't make up for Sharpedo being much stronger, and Sludge Bomb didn't have a whole lot of relevant targets. It would've been good for Glare while catching legends, but I tried and Groudon had Rest so I stopped trying when it Struggled itself to death.

The last Pokemon changed a lot. Initially, I was going to run Hariyama, who I regret dropping for Seviper honestly. It would've been a much, much better option for Glacia, who was a big initial problem, and for Steven's fight. Wallace too, probably. At one point I had Swellow, and dropped it solely because I just wasn't feeling it. Which wasn't a great reason but here we are. In the end, I ran those five for the initial League run, got bodied by Glacia twice, and by Wallace like five times. Tentacruel was a much more significant roadblock to the team than expected, given the only easy answer was slower and quad weak to Water. Which then made me regret not working on that Gardevoir after all, but I ran Gardevoir before, I didn't want to do the same thing twice. I considered Banette, but didn't really feel like it either. Which, again, maybe not my best call.

So in the end, I settled on Metagross. Who took a long while to get up to speed, but as soon as it evolved, contributed massively. I rolled Adamant first try, and with Earthquake, Brick Break, and Shadow Ball, it absolutely smashes the E4's first three. It's bananas. And it's pretty good for Steven's fight too, handling Cradily easily, which was a major, major threat in my last run. I do think Earthquake was...entirely unnecessary. It barely used it, and if I were to do it all again, I probably would've given Sceptile Earthquake to handle Wallace, and just let Metagross run Psychic or something.

We ended sub-level 60, though. Seviper was the lowest at 54, Sceptile the highest at 59, so approximately the same levels as the last team. Which is pretty good considering how much worse this team feels. Sceptile and Sharpedo did fantastically well, while Camerupt had its day in the Sun but falls on terrible times barring the Skarmory KO. Metagross is absurd, though, definitely enjoyed that one. But Alteria was too awkwardly set up, and Seviper didn't have as much to contribute on the team with the others around. This run also went a lot longer, because I was so wishy-washy mid-game around who the sixth was going to be, only to drop everyone and resolve using Metagross later.

I think the next game is going to be Platinum. I kinda ran out of steam on the last run again. But I know why. It's because @alphakuriboh...might be right about somethings. About how I play these games. Specifically, I got really over-focused on the plan for Platinum and it stopped being interesting and fun. So I think I'm going try without that fixation and just play to what I can pick up. Be a little more free-flowing. Though there are one or two that I'm kinda set on using this time around, I admit. I'm also thinking of dropping the starters. I don't like Infernape at all, so it'd be between Torterra and Empoleon, who are both, perhaps predictably, overlapped types with things I haven't run before. So I think I'd like to set them aside and try something a little different this time through. Maybe also be a bit less insistent on getting just Gen 4 Pokemon. I tend to focus on "the team has to be all stuff new to that game," but I could stand to be a bit more flexible.

[snowy-bones]

Okay! (I'm sorry to your followers who are playing the DLC, I'm spoiling it all)

Part one; The Teal Mask

You go to this new place Kitakami, meet Carmine (she's rude) and her little brother Kieran (he's a sweetheart and shy)

You learn about the 'Loyal Three' who laid down their lives to protect the village from this evil ogre.

You keep defeating Kieran in battle because Nintendo likes to bully the shy guys.

You meet the ogre, an adorable pokemon named Ogerpon, she (100% female) is precious and hides her face with a few masks, including the Teal Mask

You learn that Ogerpon is not a bad pokemon, the loyal three killed her human friend, stole three of her four masks (she had the Teal Mask while she was wherever she was) and fled to the village. She flew into a rage and chased them down, killing them

Meanwhile Carmine's becoming friendlier and after you are forced (by Nintendo and Carmine) to lie to Kieran about meeting Ogerpon whom he likes very much, he starts becoming more antgonistic towards you, ends up punching this monument to the 'Loyal Three' which somehow caused said three to come to life, get hold of the three masks once again (they had been held in Kitakami Hall) and generally make nuisances of themselves (towards you, Carmine and Ogerpon, Kieran just kinda goes somewhere for a while)

Long story short, you send them packing, get the masks back, Ogerpon wants to travel with you and Kieran doesn't like that so he challenges you and loses (and starts going a bit off the deep end)

Part Two: The Indigo Disk (this just came out on the 13th)

A post game DLC (The Teal Mask is like the Isle of Armor for SwSh, you can either play it at the beginning or end of the main game and the levels will adjust accordingly) that takes you to Blueberry Academy, where Carmine and Kieran are studying.

Kieran's become the academy champion and is obsessed with beating you, still loses after you take on the BB League E4 but whatever

The main meat of the DLC is returning to Area Zero to find the hidden treasure

Which turns out to be another adorable pokemon, this one named Terapagos, which was in a sealed crystal state. Kieran frees him (I think this one is 50/50, but mine's male) and he reforms, sees you and starts walking towards you.

And the boy immediately master balls the poor thing because he was infuriated that he chose you over him (honestly, I think he just saw you first and was like 'You freed me!') and then challenges you again with Terapagos, loses again and his (Terapagos) energy starts going haywire.

Kieran tries to return him, but he breaks the Master Ball (you had him for five minutes, Kieran, how did you eff up this badly) and you have to battle him and catch him.

Energy stops, Kieran starts his redemption arc and we all live happily ever after.

Until the Epilogue, a free 3rd part of the DLC, comes out in January, this time bringing back the og Area Zero Crew (Arven, Penny, Nemona) and revealing a mysterious pokemon in Kitakami.

So yeah, fun!

OH MY GOD!! I seriously need to see this now excuse meeeee! hhhhh ALSO I AM SO SORRY FOR SPOILERS GUYS IF YOU ARE PLAYING!!

[randomkposts]

Headcanons about Hau, and diffrences between his character in SM and USM

---

Hau, wants battle to be more fun, rather than serious. I think this ties into his issues with his father, who resented living in the shadow of a Kahuna, and possibly took battle very seriously, moving to Kanto to try to make his own name, away from the legacy of his father. His mother still lives in Alola, and its unknown if she and Hau's father are divorced, or simply separated. I wouldn't say he becomes depressed in the original, but he is behind, and is more of an equal rival in USM.

I think Hau is looking to strike a balance between trying to make his grandfather proud, and trying not to become the kind of person his father was. Battles are fun, and he wants to keep them that way, and isn't in a rush to do everything. 

I think, that first shifts in USM in mallie garden after you defeat Guzma, on some optional dialogue. 

Both games have him taking things more seriously, after Lillie's abduction, particularity after we invade Aether as a group. 

Both games have him cheerful. But the ultra versions have him a lot more confident. Or perhaps confident isn't the best describer, as he is pretty confidant in both, but USM has him a lot more active in pursuing his dream of becoming a Kahuna, like his grandfather before him.

He is a more effective rival in USM. In sun I had considered him more of a Brendon/May character, to who battling isn't the main reason for the journey they are on. I know that they are not the only example of that kind of rival, but they are the one that came to mind. 

What changes his drive? Is it starting with you on the journey, in USM, and feeling pushed by you to put wishes into action? m

Or maybe it's Guzma. Hau seems to have a stronger link to Guzma then in the original game. Perhaps Guzma is making a difference on his willingness to put his ideals into action. 

Personally, I liked the focus Sun and Moon had on Lillie and her family, and didn't mind having my PC step back a bit in plot importance. I understand that storytelling style is not for everyone, particularly for people who don't like Lillies character much, or who want to make their own mark in the story. Myself, I liked the character arc, and felt it strengthened the story. 

USM focused more on the other characters and diversified things a bit. Though it also placed central characters in more plot important roles. Such as Hau taking Hala's role in the battle against ultra beasts. 

It made the trial captains more involved in the main story, rather than relying only on  the optional battles you could do in SM, which offered some interesting insight, and some build up for the elite 4. 

I do appreciate the homage to the original E4 at the end, though I would argue that his character arc isn't quite done, until we see him accomplishing his objectives, though for game purposes I suppose it is done. 

[crazedcollie]

A Pokemon Pseudolocke Challenge

So I've sorta been doing a different kind of pokemon challenge run. Enjoying occasionally hard pokemon playthroughs but not really a fan of Nuzlocking, I came up with a variant of my own. Documenting it here cause it's fun.

My intent is playing through every main series pokemon game in release order, with the exception of Sword/Shield/Shining Diamond/Brilliant Pearl cause I don't have them and don't really want to buy them just for this. (And really, they're apparently not all that great games anyway...)

Catch my team on Nuzlocke rules (first encounter in each route, if I can't catch it, too bad), except I can't use repeats. That is, if I use a pokemon in a team, it's off-limits for the rest of this entire run! I can try to catch the second encounter of the route if the first one was a 'mon I already had somewhere, and so on. It's up to me if I stay on a route until I get a catch (or fail one), or move on. I have to use the first six pokemon gotten this way. Can't use Repels until I have a full team. (HM whores don't count. *glares vaguely towards Sinnoh*)

Can't use legendaries, can't trade to evolve, and if an evolution method is not available until postgame, too bad. Gift pokemon are to be used if I still have a team spot.

As a corollary to this, I am not allowed to do any kind of checking of what pokemon appears where, only base things on what I already know of the games (which, admittedly, is a fair bit). Once a pokemon is in a team, all branches of its' evolutionary line are also "used". Regional forms are separate, though, since almost all of them are in fact their own evolution lines.

End of the run in a given game is whatever is the highest leveled trainer fight in the game that's of a preset level and is not, say, a frontier/battle tower fight. Champion in a lot of games, Red in GSC, upgraded E4 in Fire Red/Leaf Green etc.

Difficulty:

No consumable items in fights, or between E4 members. I have to beat E4 + Champion in one go, without healing. Yes this is as insane as it sounds in some games. Battle style set, meaning I don't get free switches.

No grinding unless absolutely necessary to the point where I can gain xp from a losing fight (Johto level curve, looking at you). I allow myself to check on NPC and item locations for the sake of my sanity mostly.

Tally my amount of blackouts(complete team losses where I end up back in pokemon center), and the levels and names of my teams. And then make a post of each journey here largely for my own amusement.

Stay tuned if this sort of thing interests you besides my art~

[m39]

Doom WADs’ Roulette (2005): Scythe 2

You just have finished your second playthrough.

...

yyyyyyyyyyyYEP!!!

That’s another hard WAD to check out of the list!

You cross out the word “Scythe 2” on the list.

Now... if you excuse me...

You pass out.

Two days later

Hey kids! Ya want some more WAD-related trauma?!

G2: Scythe 2

Main author(s): Eric Alm

Release date: June 7th, 2005 (original release)/July 10th, 2009 (full version release)

Version played: Version 2

Required port compatibility: Limit-removing

Levels: 32 (standard 30 + 2)

The original Scythe WAD (my review to that WAD here ==>) was pretty good in my opinion, to the point that I consider it a spiritual successor to another MegaWAD titled Demonfear. From what I’ve heard about the sequel, Scythe 2, from many sources, it all can be summarized as better in everything.

Is it true though?

Well, this WAD has a section of it with an Ancient Egypt theme so it’s already better than the original without even playing-

Okay, seriously, it can’t be just that biome that makes Scythe 2 better.

From what I’ve gathered, this WAD’s creation started somewhere around late 2003; so basically not so long after the release of the first Scythe. Scythe 2 actually came out unfinished, without three last maps. It was like this until 2009 when Eric Alm released the full version of this MegaWAD alongside some changes and bug fixes to the previous maps.

But the lacking last maps didn’t stop this WAD from getting one of the Cacowards from 2005 from what I’ve seen. Hell, after Alien Vendetta, Scythe 2 was declared the most influential WAD of all time!

Now, with all of that out of the way, let’s take a look at Scythe 2, and see what makes this MegaWAD so great.

This WAD looks really good. Compared to the first Scythe, it offers more interesting landmarks, not to mention how many themes it has.

Scythe 2 is split between six different biomes. The Gothic castles,

ancient Egyptian temples (my favorite, of course),

chucklefucks’ mining facility,

various, demonic fortresses,

Mesoamerican cities,

and, of course, Hell itself (with castles sprinkled here and there).

The text file to this WAD gives an actual connection between these themes; stating that you are dimension-hopping between them.

The music tracks are also great. Featuring stuff from franchises like Mega Man, Metroid, and, of course, Blood among others.

If I could choose the best track per episode, it would definitely be Great Pyramid from E2, Sigma Fortress 1 from E3, Oldtown Station Remastered from E4, and MIDIfied Wanderlust from E6.

As for the first and the fifth episode, can’t choose which song is the best. The first episode is like 5/5 absolute bangers; with Spy in the Cab probably being the best track. And as for the Jungle episode, I can’t exactly choose between Phendrana Drifts, Heretic’s Atlas, or Intolerance as the best track. Maybe it’s the last one, I don’t know.

Fun fact: Most of the tracks were chosen by stx-Vile. The rest was by Erik Alm himself.

Scythe 2, like Scythe 1, is easy to understand. There will be curveballs here and there but I don’t think you will get stuck for more than a minute.

The first difference you will notice about the maps between this MegaWAD and its predecessor is that they tend to be much bigger. Sure, there are still small maps that you will finish without even noticing but there are now maps that will make you will like you just ran a marathon. Especially from the second half onward.

I also really like how organically you move from one level to another that doesn’t end with a portal at the end.

As I just mentioned, the WAD is split into six episodes; twice as much as the previous installment. And like the first Scythe, each episode ends with you dying to begin another one with only Pistol in your hand; mostly you die by blowing up, but once you end up crushed, and the other time you use Rocket Launcher to slide your carcass to the exit portal.

There are, however, design choices that are questionable at best. Particularly how to get to secret levels. To get to the first secret map, you have to grab the yellow key from End of the Line from a different angle, by straferunning to the pile of boxes nearby, then grabbing the key from these boxes. Normally, if you grab that key the regular way, the switch that opens up the passage to the secret level will lower to the ground. By doing the bonkers way, the switch will stay in place.

Although, you can still press the switch if it’s lowered.

The second secret level has an even more unhinged way of accessing in my opinion. In the first secret level, you have to grab all of the keys, and open up the secret exit in around 12 seconds; otherwise, the door leading to the secret exit will jam. Without enemies enabled, it might be possible to do that for a semi-competent Doom WAD player, but considering what enemies you are fighting on this map, you have to be Zero Master-level of Doom God to actually do that legitimately.

For non-masochistic people, just warp there or noclip through the door that leads to the secret exit. The second secret map is worth playing. It’s like Warrens from Doom I mixed with Get Going from the first Scythe. And thankfully, exiting from any secret map will let you carry your weapons to the fourth episode.

But there are more things to talk about than just bizarre routes to secret levels. For instance, Graverobbers has a set of secrets that leads to getting the red key and eventually a hidden BFG.

Gaia’s Temple shows you in separate areas that the yellow and red keys were lowered in the hub section of the map.

Haunting Dreams, the last map of the WAD, tasks you to go into five portals that lead to some of the locations from the previous episodes.

There is also Mr. X but I’ll discuss this map in a moment.

Scythe 2 is harder than Scythe 1. Even Eric Alm claims that this WAD on Hurt Me Plenty is for people who enjoyed the previous installment on Ultra-Violence. Remember how the first 25 maps (plus secret ones) of Scythe 1 were rather fast to complete until you reached Fear? It happens again with Scythe 2 but earlier.

It all comes down to splitting the MegaWAD into two parts: Pre-Whispering Winds and post-Whispering Winds.

Before you reach this map, maps up to The Garden Base II are usually pretty straightforward. It’s like you were slowly going from E2 to E3 level of challenge of the original Scythe on UV. There are challenging moments, but nothing close to being a herculean task to do.

When you finally reach MAP23, well... How do I put it? Shit goes to Hell and you are bombarded with slaughter maps; starting with 502 enemies on MAP23, and ending with over 700 monsters on Haunting Dreams.  Not all of the maps are like that, but all of them are at least tough; especially when you don’t know where the secrets are.

Is one of these later maps harder than Scythe 1’s Fire and Ice? Honestly, I have no idea. I think some of the maps are at least as hard as that one. This WAD might have unlocked something in my brain to be more comfortable fist-fighting two boneheads and one-two BFG-punching siege cows.

Now here is a question: Which one of the two last episodes is harder? It’s actually hard to answer, since the Jungle episode has a hat trick of slaughter maps, while the Hell episode has harder maps but throws you some easier ones in between the ball busters. I can at least safely say that these two episodes are, at best case, equally hard.

One of the biggest reasons why Scythe 2 is harder than its predecessor is due to the two new enemies added to the roster; really tough sons’a’bitches that will ruin your day. And it so happens that I have encountered these types of enemies in the previous WADs I reviewed.

The first one you will encounter in the fourth episode - Evil Marine. A red-colored coke addict that fires a series of plasma shots. Completely unhinged; probably as fast as you. Now you know why getting into the second secret map in nearly impossible with enemies enabled.

Remember how I mentioned Mr. X? This is possibly the best way to introduce him. With hearing dying Imps, and that bastard popping out from time to time to terrorize you. Kill him on sight with your own Plasma Gun (probably the best weapon to deal with one of them if you have it).

Also, remember Afrit from the first ZDoom Community Map Project? He’s back, and he’s no longer a pushover. 2500 health points, plus a volley of Mancubus’ fireballs and Revenant’s missiles. I saw one of these guys kill a Cyberdemon of all enemies! Luckily, they only appear in the last episode, so they won’t bother you that much. But still, if you saw one, blow them up with BFG.

I haven’t encountered any bugs, although the text file mentions some unintentionally misaligned textures here and there. I didn’t notice them.

Without counting the bizarre ways of entering the secret levels, Scythe 2 is an amazing sequel in every way possible. It’s beautiful, it has some quirks for the lack of better words and it is a step up in challenge for people who finished Scythe 1. I fully recommend it. And as for people who are not really into slaughter maps, there is nothing wrong with playing up to MAP22. You will just skip Afrit encounters.

And now, some videos related to Scythe 2:

See you next time.

Bye!

[the-backspin-alchemist]

A4, A5, C3, D4, E4, F1, H2, K3, M3, S2

A4. what things are they bad at?

I answered a fair amount of this for Jace already, but on a more internal level he's very bad at grappling with his own emotions. He basically has two ways of dealing with them, and both have started to fail him recently. He either represses them like crazy, or ends up letting them drive all of his actions, and both have lead to bad consequences in the past lately.

He's trying to do better. But it's very, very hard, given that he's been operating like this for so long.

Also he's not great at holding his liquor, which is why he avoids it most of the time (except for that one time he got drunk and wrote Ashes a weird borderline love letter when he left for a week to go sort himself out after Haverthorne).

A5. what is their most impressive talent?

He managed to (unwittingly) seduce a banshee once by playing the kalimba.

Uh really his best talent is likely his wilderness survival skills. He's an impressive swordsman, and an equally impressive archer (apparently, given his record on the battlefield so far), but the wild was his home until very recently, and it shows.

Also he manages to convince a lot of people that he's not an ass when they don't have to work with him consistently (Ashes, Oz, Rothgar, and Squirrel all know better, they have to deal with his bullshit on a daily basis).

C3. what is their ideal comfort day?

Heading out into the woods for a bit with the displacer kits, doing some foraging, putting up his hammock somewhere nice for a bit, play some kalimba and maybe some scrimshaw, come back and hang out with Chester for a bit, get some food from Anton, and spend the rest of the evening hanging out with his friends before heading to sleep.

D4. what type of clothes and accessories do they wear?

He wants to claim it's all practicality. That the hooded cloak and the leather armor and everything are all just to make practical sense, and that he's not actually a vain bastard underneath all of this that frets over his own image because he's a drama queen because of trauma.

So he's usually got a very-carefully-tailored Ranger Look™ that he has, where he's got some basic leather armor on most of the time over a basic black shirt and pants, and then a number of different carrying pouches strapped to his leggings and belt that aren't too obtrusive but that let him forage on the go. He's got a bag he's had since he was a teen that his dad gave him, has both of his swords and at least one knife on his belt consistently (he does really like the kukri he picked up from the blacksmith on his first job with the Guild), and has a dark hooded cloak on over all of this. All of this to give him that sort of “I am the mysterious person in the room, approach at your own risk” kind of vibe. Which usually works because he’s very obviously a drow, and looks a lot like his mom, and both of those could be problems in the wrong places.

The thing nobody usually sees is the locket he has with images of both his parents in it that he wears underneath his shirt. not even Ashes has seen that yet, and Ashes has seen him shirtless.

E4. are they up-to-date on the internet fads?

Given that the setting Jace is from has no internet, no. But even then, he's not one for keeping up with pop culture. Which, given that he was a hermit for a few years, makes sense. He's still stepping back into consistently being back in civilization after a LONG time away.

F1. what do they do for fun?

Luna_What_Is_This_Fun_Thou_Speakest_Of.gif

His means of having fun are usually just ways to feel less stressed. This is usually running drills of some kind, but he's found playing with the displacer kits to be quite enjoyable, and he does like trying to compose for the kalimba he has, even if he thinks he's absolute shite at it.

H2. do they prefer summer or winter?

Winter. Winter's when it goes from foraging season to hunting season, and while he won't admit it readily (mostly because he's uncomfortable with the notion because...reasons) he does get some enjoyment out of a good hunt, and the meal and tanning that comes out of a good game kill.

K3. if they could kill anyone without punishment, would they? who?

He's still on the fence about wether he's allowed to still be alive given what he did when his mother went nuts (which in fairness wasn't his fault, but he's still not emotionally sorted that out yet), so...no.

Heck, he dislikes killing as-is, and is disturbed at how easily its come to him in a lot of cases.

It's why he has so many rules.

M3. would they be a good parent?

That is a very good question.

I think he has convinced himself that, no, he would be a terrible parent, given what happened to his, but if he ever works past that I think he'd be a stern if caring dad that would do okay at the parenting thing.

S2. would they give money to someone on the streets?

Can and has, consistently. He doesn't really think he needs all that much gold, given that he's a ranger, he can survive on his own for years on end in the wilderness just fine, so if he doesn't need it, why not give it to folks that could actually use it?

(Also he doesn't think he deserves too much money given his past actions giving him a hell of a self-loathing complex but I digress)

This is essentially why he bought his kukri, he thought the knife was cool, the blacksmiths had just had their workshop trashed by goblins, and he figured they could use a bit of extra money without it seeming like a donation, so he bought the knife and a sheath and payed extra for them, because hey, he didn't need the gold, and he could use the knife, and they deserved it more than he did could use it more than he could, so why not?

[ieatmorecrispsthanyou]

Hi again! Hope it's ok to keep this discussion going at great length, feel free to ignore this, but it does gives me a chance to ramble about JFSP et al and that's something I love doing. I haven't ever got the chance to ramble with someone who also enjoys his work so I'm going to give it my best shot...

I can definitely see where you're coming from about sketch comedy in general being hit or miss, and in this case some JFSP sketches throwing you off having a good time - I actively dislike some of his sketches but I tend to find that the ones I find least funny are conveniently grouped together in a 'mid' episode for me to skip, and even in those mid episodes there are gems (likewise even in 'good episodes' there are less funny sketches as you mentioned). So I can understand why Cabin Pressure and JFDA are more consistently fun listens for you, since you know you're going to enjoy *all* of it.

Also there's that element of a more coherent character driven plot in Cabin Pressure and JFDA, as the audience gets to spend more than 5 minutes with each character unlike in the sketches. I like the short-term characters as well though, because I don't get so invested in them that I feel awful when something embarrassing or bad happens to them (as prevents me from listening to a couple of episodes of Cabin Pressure). I also think it really showcases JF's skill in that he can write a 5 minute sketch about two people in some situation and yet the audience can understand all about these people's characters, motivations and shortcomings and that this is the situation which exposes all of them, and it's so damn funny.

I agree about picking off a menu of sketches - I wish I was internet proficient enough to clip all his sketches and arrange them in a website for people to peruse at their leisure... currently what I do is go on the comedy central episode guide to each series (written by JF I think) and at this point I know each episode so well I can tell by the basic description exactly how much of a fun time I'm going to have listening to each episode.

I think JFSP is at its best when there's some sort of coherent narrative or link between the sketches, mostly found at the 'since you ask me' ending, or repeating 'bits' - like the time travelling episode (s4.e6), your favourite heist episode (s7.e6), The Adventures of Mr Floofywhiskers (s5.e1, s7.e4), the animals and kings episode (s7.e5), or in terms of repeating bits, the reluctant underappreciated holiday singer (s4.e6 and the christmas episode), the archers bit from series 2-6, the train driver and train manager bit (fun fact: there's fanfiction of them on AO3!), Mr Frint the curmudgeonly pedant (and too many more to mention). I also like when he includes fictionalised versions of the cast complaining about the sketches - I enjoy the meta aspect of it, although as he points out there's an element of being so self aware and self deprecating about your own comedy that it ruins the joke.

This is probably why I enjoy series 9 (perhaps) most of all - the interwoven short character moments building up into a bigger patchwork covering generations, but so gradually that you don't notice until you're hooked in. Since you first meet the characters when they're at the end of their stories, you have this sense that you won't hear anything really bad happen to them, which makes for some very comforting listening. (fun fact - I met Carrie and she said that her favourite series was s9 as well!)

And now to address your point in the tags about John Finnemore and how he handles race and religion...

...which is basically that I agree with everything you've said and more people should take notice of it as you have done. It's a conversation we should be having, and it helps us fully understand his works in their complete context.

For me I can understand why JF is the way he is about this topic, definitely not to excuse him or me though (as you'll see later in this post). We both come from deep in rural England, where, at least in my experience, you don't really encounter anyone outside your white, culturally-Christian 'bubble' until you've internalised all the messages people inside your bubble have been explicitly and implicitly telling you, and that makes it harder to unlearn them (although the unlearning is necessary). And then leaving that bubble as an adult is challenging, so you make friends who are just like you and that reinforces the attitudes you know are wrong. So while I love the casts of JFSP and JFDA and Cabin Pressure so very very much, it is rather telling that a lot of them do share certain characteristics (in terms of race at least). Some of the radio 4 audience also share those characteristics as well, so it makes sense why in those bits about race and religion he seems to imagine himself as talking to a crowd just like him, inside his 'bubble', not realising (or caring?) how uncomfortable a listen it is for people outside that 'bubble'. (I've stretched the bubble metaphor too thin, methinks)

I don't want it to come across as if I'm excusing him for his more mean-spirited comedy, the 'we all know as white people not to make fun of different races and religions, because it's wrong, but I'm going to toe the line because I think I'm catering to an audience like me' comedy, because I don't agree with this attitude and he definitely could and should have made more of an effort to be more aware of his privilege. Being in a position of power like that means you are contributing to the status quo and sort-of-making-fun-of minorities just reinforces the idea that people like him are 'above' those minorities, an idea which I think is dangerous to be spreading to your audience.

Like you, I've also met him and he was so kind - he was everything I imagined he was from listening to his stuff. So I feel there is hope that he can unlearn his harmful attitudes and make comedy everyone can enjoy. (But this may be putting him on a pedestal, and I definitely don't want to do that.)

Anyway, thanks for reading! I would love to discuss any aspect of this in more detail with you (or anyone reading this!) so please do add on to this ramble if you feel like it!

Hi! I hope you're doing well and having a lovely holiday season :)

Sorry if you've already talked about this before, I haven't been following you for a long time - but what do you think of the other series of JFSP apart from series 9?

Personally I love them to bits, I have listened to every episode more than 30 times and they're probably one of my favourite things in the whole world. I just love the humour, the characters, the situations - it feels very safe, no mean spirited jokes, very comforting. The sketches feels very autistic-coded to me as an autistic person, much like Martin from Cabin Pressure - some of the sketches are things I doubt a neurotypical person would notice or comment on from the angle he chooses. Like the geek sketch and the 'friend I'm in the mood for' sketch from series 5.

What are your thoughts on these series?

Thank you for asking, that’s an awesome question!

The basic answer is that I am, of course, a big fan. That said, I’d say that as much as I overall enjoy sketch comedy, I do tend to find it hit or miss; and while JFSP has a higher hit rate than most, and plenty of sketches are fantastic*, it definitely doesn’t get there ALL the time.

*Notable faves- Spooktacular, seashells, reincarnation/past lives, “Stop Saying G’nus,” tricyclist… there are loads and loads more, just off the top of my head! Not to mention the excellent ones you already cited…

The functional difference for me ends up being that while I don’t think there’s a 100% hit rate on Cabin Pressure or Double Acts either, I know that if I pick one episode that I like I will enjoy myself for a full half hour. Because I’m less familiar with a given episode of JFSP given how many there have been and how many sketches are in an episode, I don’t have that same sense of instant “ahhh” from turning on an episode of JFSP* as I would from the other two shows, where a lot of my emotions about it come from knowing it like the back of my hand.

*Major exception- S7E6. A perfect episode of sketch comedy that I can listen to literally whenever. No notes.

This isn’t to say that I don’t really enjoy JFSP! I just wish I could pick off a menu of sketches, not simply because I like some better than others but because I like the feeling of “oooh this” on demand that I get from turning on a favorite half hour episode. I will say- I find JFSP to be PERFECT for things like dental procedures and car trips, where I might be in the chair for anywhere from five minutes to two hours and can just turn on a bunch of sequential episodes for as long as I need. But it doesn’t necessarily have the same immediate impact for me as the episodes I love of the other shows.

That said- some of the best things JF ever wrote are Since You Asked Me sketches. I want them pumped into my veins.

[kalosstarters]

Yesterday I went through some of my old headcanons re: Alain and Mairin (there were way more than I thought) and thought that I could make a compilation post just for fun. Also, some of my hc:s have definitely changed since then. But here we go:

My old future career hc for Alain was that he’d become a Pokémon doctor, like Brock. But while I did have certain reasons for that hc, after seeing the newest JN episode I decided to change things up a bit. We found out that Alain is still assisting Sycamore in his research (good) while he’s still pretty serious about battling at the same time (say what you want about that battle but he has to have been training to make it all the way to M8). So, maybe the most logical conclusion is that eventually the battling part becomes less important to him (after all, he doesn’t /need/ to become the strongest anymore) with time while he becomes more invested in doing research on mega evolution. There’s still much they don’t know about it yet so it keeps him curious. Eventually he becomes a professor who works alongside Sycamore (and once Sycamore retires, he takes over, but that won’t happen in a long while).

When it comes to battling, Alain does get an offer to challenge the E4 and Diantha after the dust from the TF incident starts finally settling down, but he declines. He thinks it’s still too soon, the guilt is still pressing him a bit (even though Sycamore has made him go to therapy so he is doing much better already), and he feels he is not ready for the responsibility that comes with being a regional champion yet. However, maybe a year or two after the Kalos league victory he hears about the Pokémon world championships while on a work trip to Alola (I may be writing a fic about this :P). After some encouraging from various people and hearing that the current champion also has a Charizard, he starts feeling the old spark for battling return. By that time he has also found new mega and keystones for him and Charizard and he wants to see if they are still as powerful as they used to be. After the M8 tournament he does still keep training (he never really gives up on the dream to beat Leon) but as years go by winning does become less important to him as he understands that there are more important things in life.

As for Mairin, remember how she says in TSME that she wants to learn to mega evolve? Well, she will totally stick to her word. For a couple of years she will travel with Alain, assisting Sycamore in his research, but eventually she decides it’s time for her to go on a journey on her own. Not because she doesn’t want to travel with Alain (or the other way around) but because she feels Alain will forever be her crutch if she doesn’t do it and she won’t learn to be an independent trainer. 

So, for several years she travels on her own (making new friends and catching new mons) through different regions, taking on the gym challenges, and succeeding in varying results. Her first league tournament goes pretty much like Ash’s, she gets into top 16 but becomes a little too confident and loses her final battle quite badly. But she does develop and by the time she’s back in Kalos she has gotten ‘famous’ for being a grass type user who seems kinda clumsy and scatterbrained but is a force to be reckoned with in a battle. She even made it to top 4 in Sinnoh, losing to the person who then won the tournament. Back in Kalos (at this point she’s maybe around 16) she gets asked if she’d like to take over as the gym leader in Coumarine City, which coincidentally is where her grandfather Ramos used to lead. She accepts.

She’s a gym leader for a couple of years until she hears that Bonnie (who has had about a million different projects meanwhile) is about to set off for her gym challenge. Since Mairin has yet to participate in the Kalos league, she joins her and they become rivals. The two face each other in the Kalos league finals and Bonnie ends up winning, using her Puni-chan. At this point Mairin has also learned to mega evolve (she has a mega Venusaur. There’s a chance that Alain and Mairin have also gotten a hint about mega Chesnaught’s existence but… that’s a thought I still need to develop) so her Venusaur does put up a good fight but the Zygarde is just too strong. After the tournament Mairin returns to her gym (earning a reputation as one of the toughest gym leaders in the region) while doing what she can to help Alain and Sycamore with their research.

Some years later, when Mairin is already well into her twenties and Bonnie is now the Kalos region champion (I don’t make these rules), she gets an opportunity to battle the E4 because they are searching for a new member as Wikstrom is retiring. She succeeds well enough (beating at least 2/3 of them) and so she becomes an E4 member.

Mairin does also have a talent for art and flower tending and those are some of her favorite things to do in her free time. As a matter of fact, I HC that Alain and Mairin make a book about mega evolution together, with Mairin illustrating the book, and it becomes very successful. Alain’s way of describing things is very ‘matter-of-fact’ but Mairin’s fun additions and stories about their trips makes the book interesting even for those who are not interested in science (important note: Mairin doesn’t write her commentary alone, she makes Sycamore&Alain double check everything because of her dyslexia).

Um, I do have plenty of other hc:s about these two as well, f. ex. about their pasts and the non career things but... I’m gonna leave that for another time. I hope someone managed to read through this unnecessarily long post tho 😂

[firewoodfigs]

Hi!! Could you do "It was a hospital bed, and A slipped in carefully to lie beside B all night" for a Royai fic from that prompt list? Thank you!! ❤️❤️

hello anon!! thanks for the prompt aaaah I had a lot of fun toying with it in between work and the other shenanigans that have been cropping up this week <3 I hope you don't mind the somewhat unusual ending ahaha I dimly recall writing a few other fics indirectly responding to this prompt (here and here!) so I wanted to try something slightly different from my usual fare 👉🏻👈🏻 part of this was also originally from a two-shot I'm working on, tweaked to fit the prompt hehe. I hope you enjoy!!! 🥰

                                       +++++

Riza can think of a million reasons why hospitals are awful.

First, the food. She’s not sure if it’s as nutritious as they make it out to be; there are times when she wonders if it’s even edible. She’s had worse, of course - hospital food isn’t as bad as ration bars - but she’s quickly getting tired of eating plain yoghurt and bland porridge every day, for every single meal.

Second, the stench. Riza hates that every inch of the place smells like a victim of obsessive cleanliness; she has to resist the urge to upchuck every time the door opens and the smell of chemicals and antiseptic filters in like an unwanted guest.

Third, the fact that she’s sharing a room with a man who, at this point, is behaving more like a cat on hot bricks than a disciplined soldier is quickly driving her insane. She’d readily agreed to be his caretaker, of course; Riza doubts there’s anyone else capable of dealing with his antics and ever-growing anxiety. But after hearing him sigh and toss and turn in his bed for the fifty-eighth time that night (she’d counted, because she was bored out of her wits, and there was nothing else she could do other than sleep or stare at the ceiling, per doctor’s orders), Riza decides she’s just about had enough.

She looks at him from her bed. He’s presently engaged with twiddling his thumbs, thinking out loud.

Riza sighs and rises from her bed quietly. She brings the IV stand along with her - an unnecessary inconvenience - and carefully slips into his bed once she’s made sure that the tubes and wires connected to them are tangle-free.

“I never pegged you as an opportunist, Lieutenant,” he murmurs, despite her best efforts to be discreet. “Sleeping with your commanding officer while he’s blind?”

“You could always court martial me later, sir,” Riza deadpans. “Now scoot over.”

Luckily, he obliges without much retort. 

“Your wish is my command.”

Riza huffs. She adjusts the thin, scraggly piece of linen that the hospital justifies as a blanket - another downside of this shitty place - and makes sure he’s probably covered, warm.

“Three words,” she mutters.

“Eight letters?”

“Twelve, actually.”

Roy raises a brow. “What could it be?”

“Would you like to wager a guess, sir?”

“Not really.”

“You’re an idiot,” she says. Roy laughs, and it’s a tiny little sound that is so discordant with his current mood, but it’s at least genuine. “Now go to sleep.”

“Alright, alright.”

He stops fidgeting, for a while. Riza closes her eyes and attempts to fall asleep - and she actually does, for a while - at least until she hears the sheets rustling again, the movement and tension coming from beside her. She groans softly.

“You should sleep, sir.”

She feels him stiffen. Roy smiles sheepishly, looking right through her like she’s not there. It still unnerves her how this is probably going to be their new normal: him without his sight. Her as his eyes.

“Sorry.”

Riza frowns. An apology is not the answer she wants. What she wants is for him - or them both, actually - to sleep and rest and properly recuperate so that they can have a speedy recovery, so that they can get out of here as soon as possible.

“Bad dreams?” she asks, because it’s the exact same thing that’s been haunting her. (She’s lucky her throat makes it impossible for her to scream or kick up a fuss; she’d hate for Roy to stumble blindly through the room in what he probably thinks is an act of chivalry and/or heroism.)

He shrugs.

“Then and now,” he offers. His smile fades, and he lapses into an unexpected moment of vulnerability. “Hard to differentiate between day and night nowadays, too.”

And because Riza doesn’t know what to say, she simply brushes her knuckles against his.

Roy returns the gesture, drawing indiscernible patterns on the back of her hand with his bandaged one.

“Well, it’s almost midnight now, sir.”

He lets out a small laugh, but it’s painfully hollow.

Riza shifts slightly. It’s a bit of a tight squeeze - hospital beds are clearly not meant for two persons (or anything inappropriate) - but it doesn’t bother her all that much. She just wishes there’s more she can do, to comfort him. Make him feel a little less gloomy.

“It feels like I’ve been sleeping for years.”

“If it helps reduce the incidents of you falling asleep during office hours, then you should get more sleep now, while you can.”

Roy turns, like he’s searching for her, even though there’s not much closer she can be at this point. He exhales shakily. She feels his hand trembling against hers, and responds with a gentle caress. (She knows he’s still feeling guilty, probably berating himself internally about their predicament, about what transpired beforehand. And to be fair, there’s a part of her that’s still angry about all that's happened underground. They’ll probably have to talk about it, at some point, but probably not now — not when they’re both still drugged up and only half-lucid.)

“Humour me, Lieutenant.”

“What?”

“I can’t sleep,” he confesses. Dimly, Riza notes that his voice has taken on a somewhat petulant edge — like a child complaining about their bedtime, but she doesn’t comment on it. Being nearly bedridden for a week is enough to drive her nuts, too. “I’ve tried counting sheep and all that shit, and it’s just — it’s not working.”

Riza sighs. She’s tired, yes, but she’s also aware that she’s probably not going to get any sleep at this rate. She tries to think of ways to stave off his restlessness. Reading is one — she can probably bore him into sleep with a Xingese recitation (she’s gotten pretty good at that lately), but she’s technically not supposed to be talking much. Alcohol is another, but neither of them are supposed to be drinking (and besides, the only form of alcohol available in hospitals isn’t meant for human consumption). Maybe chess, then. She’s not particularly keen on playing a game of chess, now (because she just wants to sleep), but she thinks it’ll help exhaust some of his boundless energy.

“We could play a game of chess, if you want. Breda was kind enough to drop a vinyl board here in the afternoon.”

“I can’t see —“

“I’ll tell you where I move my pieces.”

He frowns, clearly not liking the idea. “You’re not supposed to be talking much, Lieutenant.”

“I’m fine,” she insists, turning to pour a cup of water for herself before continuing. “I won’t have to speak much — unless you’re being a nuisance or a cheat or a fraud.”

He laughs. “I’ll be none of those things, Lieutenant.”

“Good.”

She sets up the board on his bed and helps him sit up. Riza lets him play white.

“It’s your move, sir.”

“You’ve made yours?”

“No. You’re playing white.”

“Tough. It’ll be more embarrassing if I end up losing.”

Riza smiles. “Well, we don’t know that yet, sir.”

He opens with pawn to e4. She helps him move his pieces and parrots her movements back to him. Pawn to e4, too. Pawn to d4. Same here. A closed game, not quite like his usual aggressive style of playing.

Riza watches as he frowns with intensity. It’s probably more a test of memory than strategy for him at this point. She wonders if there’s a way he can adapt to chess, to the military’s utilitarian (and frankly unsympathetic) demands now that his sight’s impaired.

(Life is so unlike chess, Riza thinks, in spite of Roy’s silly metaphors that postulate otherwise. The rules are never fixed, and the universe is always rife with uncertainty. It’s not like chess, where you can predict your opponents’ moves if you get good enough. Neither of them had expected that he’d be here right now, losing sleep and contemplating life over a chessboard while blind.)

He clucks his tongue, reciting a series of movements from memory. The Blackmar-Diemer. Riza smiles indulgently.

Still as aggressive as ever, sir.

Of course.

The game quickly becomes a round of blitz, and though he manages to open his lines and mount a rather decent attack, it’s clear that he has trouble recalling after the eighteenth move. It's still an impressive feat, though. Better than the average layperson.

“Check,” Riza announces, conversationally. Technically, she’d had the advantage, both on the board (and in real life). It shouldn’t really count, and besides, checkmate isn’t her objective — it’s to get her commanding office to sleep.

“Well-played,” Roy hums. He’s strangely still in his bed as he closes his eyes, rubbing at his temples — presumably to ease off an oncoming migraine. It happens a lot, when he’s in deep thought, when he’s over thinking. Thinking too much for his own good. “I need to work on my recall, I think.”

“I think so too, sir.”

He laughs, but the sound is again empty, foreign. It is so at odds with his usual smirks and unbridled laughter (when he’s laughing at someone else, or a joke made at somebody’s expense), like there’s an ache beneath the surface that she cannot reach.

Roy turns slightly, bumping into his dethroned king as he adjusts himself on the bed.

She blames the sudden, uncharacteristic urge to cry on her drugged-up system.

(Riza doesn’t think she’ll ever get used to how uncommunicative his eyes are. He’s always regarded each and every one of his subordinates with respect and meaning and gratitude, but he’d simply looked over the unit as if taking inventory when they had come by earlier.

But she’ll make do, Riza thinks. She has to. She’s always known him in a way nobody else has, in a deeply intimate way, like a book she’s memorised by heart.)

They fall silent for a few minutes. His lips part a little - she knows  he’s about to say something - but it snaps shut again, like he can’t bring himself to say the words.

Riza simply waits for him, like she always has; holding onto his held breath like it's the last thread of hope. She leans into his touch a little closer than necessary.

I’m right here, even if you can’t see me.

Roy smiles.

“I hope I won’t forget your face, Riza.”

[spencessmile]

Scholar’s Mate

Pairing - Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader 

Summary - In a game of chess both you and Spencer make unexpected moves. 

Warnings - None 

Word Count - 1k

And all imagines/fanfics/blurbs are written solely by me so please don't steal my work and/or post it without my consent. 

Feedback and Comments are welcome. Happy reading! 

Requests are CLOSED!

Scholar's Mate is the checkmate achieved by the following moves, or similar: 1. e4 e5. 2. Bc4 Nc6

** 

The team and you wrapped up a case in New York and made your way onto the jet where everyone got comfortable for the flight back home. 

Morgan and Emily were chatting away, Rossi was preparing himself a drink, JJ was indulging herself by doing crossword puzzles, Hotch was doing paperwork and Spencer was seated at the far end of the jet.

You wrapped a blanket around your shoulders and headed towards Spencer, as you looked over Spencer’s shoulder you noticed he was setting up a small chessboard. 

“Mind if I sit?” You ask and Spencer shakes his head. You continue to watch as Spencer sets up the board and puts the chess pieces in their place. “Are you going to play alone?” 

“I do most of the time.” 

“How does one play chess by themselves?” 

“Actually, you can play with yourself using only knowledge of how the chess pieces move.” 

“I don’t think a game of solo chess would be as fun to play, so I’ll play with you,” Spencer looks up at you. 

“You k-know how to play chess?” 

“Not really but it can’t be that hard to learn while watching a genius play,” A small smirk tugging at your lips. 

“What’s going on here?” Morgan sits on the long couch as the rest of the team gathers around. 

“I’m joining Spencer in a game of chess,” You point to the board. 

“What? Reid, I’ve asked to play you several times and you never play with me,” Emily says. 

“It’s hard to play with people who don’t how to play chess,” Spencer replies, and Emily gaps. 

“I’ve asked you to teach me, and it’s not like Y/n knows how to play either.” 

Spencer looks back over at you, and you’re lightly smiling at him. You joined this team two years ago and you got along with pretty much everyone except for Spencer. You couldn’t speak for Spencer but you often found it hard to keep up with him. 

Chess may just the thing to help you become closer to Spencer. 

“Should we play?” You ask and Spencer nods. 

As Spencer went to pick up his piece, he stopped and looked up at you. “I’ll probably beat in less than 7 moves.” 

You lean forward in your seat, “Don’t hold your breath brown eyes.” 

“Damn,” You hear Morgan say as everyone laughs.  

“Oh wait,” You stopped Spencer again and flipped the board, the white chess pieces facing you as the black pieces faced Spencer. Spencer immediately started nervously playing with his hands. 

“Why did you do that?” 

“What’s wrong? Will you lose the game if you aren’t playing with white pieces?” 

Spencer was going to respond but he stopped, “No, I’ll be fine either way.” 

“Great, then make your first move,” You eye the board as Spencer moves his first chess piece.  

You wait a couple of seconds before making your first play; moving your King to E6. 

You could hear JJ whispering to Emily and Morgan “Who do you think going’s to win?” 

“I want someone to beat this kid’s ass in this game, I’m so sick of not knowing how to play but watching people who do know lose to the kid,” Morgan looks over at Rossi.

“Watch it,” Rossi pointed and Morgan chuckles. 

 “My bet’s on Y/n,” Hotch said watching you and Spencer carefully watching each other’s moves. 

Spencer made his second play, and you made your second play; moving your King’s Bishop to C5. 

Spencer made his third play, and you made your third play; moving your Queen to F6. 

Spencer made his fourth play and you decided it was time to show him how it’s really done so you took your Queen and moved it to F2. 

“Checkmate,” You say, putting your pieces down. “I beat you in four moves.” 

“Oh my god! No way!” Morgan says flipping out. “Haha, what just happened?!” 

“What?” You hear Spencer whisper. 

“JJ,” Emily spoke up. “Pinch me because I might be asleep,” JJ laughs. 

“Em, your very much awake and Y/n just beat Spencer,” She smiles. 

“Atta girl,” Morgan says high fiving you.   

“Well played Y/n,” Hotch smiled at you. 

“How di-” Spencer looks up at you and then back down at the board. “I never lose,” Spencer pulled the small board away from you and looked at the pieces. You could see the gears in Spencer’s brain were really turning trying to figure out how you beat him. 

 You look up at Rossi who has a smirk on his face as he knows the trick you just pulled. He raised his glass up and you ever so slightly nod, watching him take a sip. 

Everyone got up and went back to doing their own stuff as you sat there for a while watching Spencer figure out your moves. 

“Well that was fun maybe we should play again sometimes,” You say getting up but Spencer didn’t acknowledge you at all. You shake your head as you walk over to where JJ and Emily were and took a seat. 

** 

Morgan puts down a cup of tea for Spencer and he looks up from his book.

“So is there anything you want to tell me?” Spencer looks over at Morgan with a confused look. 

“No.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yeah, why are you asking?” 

“Because it’s obvious Reid.” 

“What is?” 

“That you like Y/n,” Spencer almost chokes on his tea. 

Spencer shakes his head. “You don’t know what your talking about.”  

“Oh come on kid, we all saw how you were looking at her. I mean, she is pret-” Morgan leaned over to his right and noticed you laughing with your head back at something Rossi was saying. “She’s perfect for you.” 

Spencer turned his head and instantly felt himself wanting to exposed seeing you smiling, as you were wrapped in a cozy blanket. As Spencer turns back to face Morgan he couldn’t help but smile a little. 

“I mean she beat you in chess, if I were you that’s not a woman I would want to lose. Just imagine all the other things she’s good at,” Spencer rolled his eyes at Morgan’s stupid comment. “Go for it kid, before it’s too late.” 

** 

After you made it back to the BAU, the team finished up their paperwork and headed out for the night. You grabbed your stuff and made your way to the elevator. 

As you were about to step inside you heard someone yell your name.  You turn around to see Spencer, walking up to you. 

“You lied to me earlier,” Spencer breathed, wrapping his bag around himself as you looked at him, confused. 

“About what?” 

“That you didn’t know how to play chess.” 

You smile at him “Well I guess you learned something new about me today,” You made your way inside the elevator but Spencer stops you again. 

“Who taught you to play like that?”

“It’s kind of hard for me not to learn when I was around my father who was a professional chess player.” 

“Your father played professional chess?” 

“For 36 years.” 

“No wonder,” Spencer says, nodding. 

“Why are you surprised, Spencer?” You ask. 

“What do you mean?”

“The day I joined the team, Garcia was asking me all these questions and I had mentioned that my father was a professional chess player and that I play too. I thought you would have caught my lie earlier.” 

From the moment you walked through the BAU doors all of Spencer’s knowledge and common sense flew out the window. He hadn’t seen anyone nearly as nerdy as him and he was fascinated at how much random stuff you knew about. 

Spencer’s liked you for months but he always pushed his feelings aside because he knew that he worked with you and that telling you how he feels would make things messy between you two. He never thought he would have a chance with you or that you would ever be interested in him. 

You snap your fingers to get Spencer’s attention; “You started staring off into space.” 

“Um, so sorry, I ju-” Spencer clears his throat.

Go for it kid, before it’s too late. 

Morgan’s words were ringing in Spencer’s ear. If Spencer didn’t tell you how he really felt about you, then he’ll never be able to tell you. 

“Would yo-you lik-like to go-” Spencer stopped mid-sentence and turned his back to you but you quickly grabbed onto his arm. 

“Wait,” You stood in front of Spencer.  “Don’t walk away before hearing my answer,” Spencer was confused. “Yes, yes I will go on a date with you.” 

“How did you know that’s what I was going to ask you?” 

“Well,” You move closer to Spencer. “I never told anyone on the team but I’m actually psychic,” Spencer looks down at you and pulls back a little. 

“No your not.” 

“I am,” You nod your head. 

“There’s no way.” 

“Do you want me to tell you what you’re thinking about at this very moment?” 

Spencer folds in arms. “Sure.” 

“You feel bad that you started to ask me out and then you got nervous and turned your back on me. But you’ve also figured out where you’re taking me for our first date.” 

“Oh yeah, where?” 

“The museum.” 

Spencer looked at you in shock. “Do you believe me now?” 

“I don-” 

“Do you ever why I always finish the rest of everyone’s sentences all the time? It’s because I literally know what their thinking and I can’t help myself,” The look on Spencer’s face was absolutely priceless. “See! This is exactly why I don’t tell people, they get all quiet and creeped out. Just like what your doing right now.” 

You and Spencer just looked at each other for a while until you couldn’t hold in your laughter. You placed your right hand over your chest and grabbed onto Spencer’s arm, trying to control your laughter. 

“You should have seen your face, Spencer! Oh my god,” You say trying to catch your breath. “I didn’t actually think you were going to go fall for that. I’ve tried to do that on so many other people and they’ve nev-” You were cut off when you felt Spencer’s soft lips on yours. 

Spencer pushed you against the wall, as you felt your elbow hit the elevator button, the doors opened and Spencer pushed you inside, pushing the stop button where you both felt the elevator jolt. 

Spencer pulled back for air, as you both just looked at each other.

The lust in Spencer’s eyes made you want him even more than before. 

You leaned in and kissed Spencer again and felt like the world fell apart. It was slow, soft, and comforting in ways you could never describe. Spencer’s hand rested just below your ear, his thumb caressing your cheek as both of yours breathes mingled. You ran your hand down his back, pulling him closer until there was no space left between you two, you could feel the beating of his heart against your chest. 

You pulled back for air as your hands now tightly gripped at his jacket. 

“Who knew you were such a good kisser.”

“I have secrets of my own,” Spencer whispers sending chills down your back. 

“I’m sure you do,” You say kissing Spencer’s cheek. “So when are going on our first date?” 

“I don’t know yet.” 

“I like surprises.” 

“Then it’ll be a surprise.” 

“I’m looking forward to it then,” You smile. 

“You beat me by using the Scholar’s Mate trick.” 

“I did,” You said proudly. 

“Well played.” 

“My father taught me well,” Spencer smiles. 

“I still need a rematch,” You look smirk at him. 

“Fine,” You sigh. “But like I said earlier don’t hold your breath.” 

** 

The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in - Morrie Schwartz

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

i also knew it was a romcom going in! i knew taika waititi played gay blackbeard going in and i knew he was going to fall for stede. i still thought ed was "serious" (ie fully thinking he would but never being wanting to do it, and also in no universe was ever going to be able to go through with it even if consciously he meant to) about killing stede all the way up until he had a PTSD flashback in e6

i agree that in this scene ed is definitely experiencing a combo of "plotting to kill this guy" and "i'm having so much fun playing dressup with him," but i think it's split more 50/50. and i don't think he committed to the plan just to get off izzy's back, i think he was fucking exhausted from being blackbeard and wanted out of piracy and thought faking his death and stealing stede's identity was the only way for him to retire. by no means did he want to kill stede, he thought stede was fun and hot and interesting, but at the end of e4 he's still just some rich guy ed doesn't know very well

by the end of e5 he really, really doesn't want to kill stede. and i think in e6, he doesn't want to kill stede but he also still thinks it's his only way out. izzy pushes him towards it, but izzy as a character is mostly a manifestation of ed's worst impulses and self-destructive beliefs and habits (much like the badmintons are for stede), so i think izzy is just verbalizing what ed has been putting off but still consciously planning to do for several days

and then by the end of e6 the murder plot is well and truly canned forever.

all the posts abt the clothes swapping that are like “these fools just speedran all the important dating tropes the first day they met each other” or “can’t believe ed made stede get into his right leather pants like the man is recovering from a stab wound” or “they’re playing dressup like little kids” are cute and like i agree but like

i feel like i’m one of the only people who watched ed start to explain his plan to izzy at the end of e4

and after watching how ed pondering the shape of the clouds was him assessing the weather and how ed making lucius count down was him keeping track of time until sundown,

heard ed say “he’s wearing blackbeard’s clothes,” and IMMEDIATELY thought “oh my god ed wasn’t just goofing off when they swapped clothes. he was checking if stede fit in his leathers”